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sleepy-dreamers-inc · 3 years

Note

ok but like wilbur as a dad? like him taking care of you while you pregnant and making sure you feel amazing and confident and just supporting you.. fuck man

Wilbur as a Dad!|| 🌼

irl / in-game

Genre| fluff

h e a d-c a n n o n s||

Sypnosis|

WILBUR AS A DAD POG

Artist| yanteruu on twitter!

warnings: pregnancy!!

(also pronouns are still gender neutral bc pog)

a/n: THIS ANON KNOWS WHO I SIMP FOR THIS HAS FED ME-

- he was with you in the bathroom as you took the test, leaning against the wall as you did your thing, he simply stared at you much to you wondering why he was.

- It didn’t matter though once beeping bounced off the bathroom walls, as you got up and walked over to him, only looking at it with him.

positive.

- Wilbur never picked you up so fast, he was laughing and giggling as he burried his face into your chest, he was so happy.

“Y/N!! Im- Im gonna be a dad!” He cried out, putting you down but grasping your shoulders. Y/N simply looked up at him, teary eyed and smiling. “Yeah, Wilbur, and you’ll be a great one.” Y/N said, standing on they’re tippy-toes and wrapping they’re arms around his neck, trying to give him a kiss. He simply smiled, snaking his hands to your torso, pulling both of you closer to his body. All he did was press his lips against yours, so softly yet passionate. As both of you separated, all Wilbur had to say was,

“I love you, both of you.”

- Although he was protective of you before, he definitely was now. Well... more of clingy. He was always by your side and catered to all of yours and your babies needs.

- Morning cuddles where your both laying in bed, his head beneath your chest, but above your stomach. He loved the intimacy, being able to be close to the 2 most dearest people in his life.

- Telling Philza and Tommy when you were about 3 weeks in, Tommy screaming while Phil was the definition of [surprised pikachu face]

“W-wait? Y/N’s pregnant?” Phil asked, all 3 of them met up at a small cafe since he wanted to spend some time with his other family. “Yeah!! Dad, im gonna be a dad!” Wilbur jumped in his seat, he was so giddy about everything, not that anyone was complaining.

“Wait... this doesn’t mean you’re going to be spending less time with m- i mean us right?” Tommy said, his face toward his drink, yet looking up at his older brother.

“Awwwww Tommy-!!” Wilbur cooed, looking at the teenager with adoration. “I wont be online much in the later months, but for now my schedule will be relatively the same.” Wilbur stated, sipping his drink, looking at Tommy. “But hey, wanna go back to my place and see Y/N? They didn’t want to come since ‘they didn’t want to ruin the surprise.’” Wilbur asked, both boys nodded as they headed out.

- The ENTIRE SMP traveling to the UK to see you, they already loved you before, but my god they practically stole you from Wilbur for a few.

- Techno was,, surprisingly protective of you. Whenever you were out in public and Wilbur wasn’t there, he was right by your side. He liked you before, you were incredibly nice to talk with, and never minded his tangents.

- Wilbur asking Techno if he has anything to confess, only for Techno to punch him in the shoulder as you giggled

- Setting up a baby room would be both adorable and a disaster. Wilbur would have no clue what he’d be doing most of the time, but seeing him laughing and giggling as he smiled at his mistakes... your heart simply melted

- Him kissing your stomach. This is very important. Every chance he gets, he kisses your stomach. Without hesitation. Even if your not showing, he’ll still do it.

- Both of you going out on little shopping trips, picking out baby stuff.

“Y/N!! Look at this onesie! We have to get it, the baby will look even more adorable.” Wilbur giggled, as he put the article of clothing into the trolly. “Wilbur, sweetie, dont you think we already bought enough?” Y/N asked, smiling a contagious smile as they looked at they’re lover.

- Telling his fanbase was a tad bit interesting, it was during a Geoguesser stream, where you walked into the room, you were in your second trimester by now, so it was very obvious you were, indeed, pregnant.

- So when you walked in to get some laundry, obviously pregnant, and in view, his chat went CRAZY

‘WILBUR?? WILBUR???!!???’

‘Wilbur got something to fess up?’

‘The fangirls are quaking’

‘Hes got someone in his bed AND in his twitch chat pog’

‘POG?????’

‘Wilbur says hes a soft boy on the streets but a freak in the sheets-‘

- Wilbur just say there wide eyed, as he turned around and looked over at you. You were bending down to grab some clothes, unaware of the situation. He quickly sprung up though, grabbing the clothes out of your hands, quickly throwing them off the bed.

“Love!! I thought you said you were going to rest...” Wilbur mumbled, pulling you close, rocking both of your forms back and forth. “I did, Wilby, but work around the house needs to be done, for the baby-“ “No, you need to rest for the baby. The baby will not be happy if they’re beautiful parent is not getting the proper rest they need and deserve.” He said, looking at you with a pouty face. Y/N simply sighed then giggled, finally giving in.

“Oh also... wanna introduce the little one to chat..? They saw you two.” Wilbur asked, scratching the back of his neck, looking at his partner.

- Singing lullabies to the baby, even if its not born yet. He’ll lighty strum his guitar, humming a tune as you lay next to him, enjoying both’s presence

- Wilbur constantly holding onto you, ESPECIALLY in public. Someone will look at you the wrong way and all the sudden Wilbur is practically suffocating you, eyeing the person who dare look at you the wrong the way

- Making special lullabies for the baby once they’re born, he’ll sing them to both of you before bed, and it always lulls you to sleep

- Orca plushie, Orca plushie

- You know that man bought little beanies and sweaters. Sorry its canon.

- When the baby started to kick he legitimately cried. He was so happy, all he wanted was to hold his baby.

- A absolute mess when Y/N is delivering the baby, he’s just pacing around the waiting room as Phil is trying to calm him down.

- Him being a total man baby with Phil, just constantly like ‘daaaAAAAAAD’ ‘phiiiiil i miss Y/N’ ‘i want my babies where are my babies’

- once he gets into the dilivery he is literally just:

- i will make a part 2 of this if requested because i have IDEAS, HEAD FULL MANY THOUGHTS

a/n: i skipped my math class to finish this, so kinda pog. Anyways soft dad wilbur makes me soft, i have writers block atm and have no clue what im even doing half the time but i hope you enjoyed this nonetheless :)

Also finally I uploaded I’ve been stressing for days ; - ;

#wilbur soot x reader #wilbur x reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #dream smp x reader #mcyt imagine #dream smp fanfiction #dsmp x reader #dream smp imagine #dsmp fanfiction #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot fanfiction #wilbur imagine #wilbur fanfiction #dreamer posts ♠️

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astrochemstry · 3 years

Note

could i request michael mell x reader headcanons w him comforting a reader who’s had a bad day please? so maybe angst to fluff? thank you so much! <3

Thank you for the request!! Having a michael brainrot recently aksfnjhdsjha I decided to make this for both platonic and romantic huhu

Reader is gender neutral btw!!

hes the sweeeeetessttttt

so whatever made your day bad--

maybe a stomach ache, a bad person and such

hE IS THERE FOR U

Depending on how you express your sadness,

So if youre more open to expressing like you just tell him

“Hey, Michael, im feeling sad.”

ROMANTIC:

RUSHING TOWARDS YOU AND IS HOLDING YOU CLOSE

Protective Michael

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

I SAW THIS HC BEFORE WHERE HE LIKES TO USE NICKNAMES LIKE PUMPKIN PIE OR SMTHING AND

YEAH HE DOES THAT TO YOU

“Sweeeet heeaart” “Loveee” hes good with nicknames but im not forgive me

ALSO I L I VE FOR PINOY MICHAEL OK

HE CALLS U MAHAL BCS IT MEANS LOVE

“Mahal, what made you sad?”

You cant hide anything from him

Not bcs hes like sherlock holmes and deducts whats wrong right away

But bcs he uses puppy dog eyes

Y e s

if its hard for you to express ur emotions and problems

all good, hes vv patient!! didnt understand at first when the relationship was still starting

but when you guys talked it out and stuff, he understands now!!

Also if it was a person who made you mad,

Protective michael 10x more

“Who was it??”

So uh if you choose to tell him

Hes gonna go deal with them

Probably with everyone else tbh they see how happy u make Michael feel and love that and how much of a cool person you are

So someone hurting you is a big nono

However,, If you don't tell him

Wont push!!

But hes still gonna try and find the person tbh

Its either he does or he doesnt

Also

Ki ss es

And nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck

aND NUZZLING NOSES TOGETHER!!!!!!

And gIVES YOU HIS HOODIE

But if you really don't wanna talk abt it yet

He will ready a movie, cuddles and whatever you want!!

Also SLUSHIES FROM 7-ELEVEN!!!!

I don't know shit abt 7-elevens at america or smth so i cant say much

oK so abT THE FILIPINO MICHAEL?? YEAH SO LIKE

HE SHOWS U MOVIES

COMEDY MOVIES

TAGALOG MOVIES

Theres subtitles tho dw

But there’s some parts you don't understand

Michael is either, explains it to you and accidentally spoils the whole thing or he doesnt and keeps laughing

And if you wanna go out and not stay in

Yall going out and having fUN

Arcade, 7-11, wherever you both wanna go tbh

PLATONIC:

So- Like in the romantic relationship

Actually tbh romance is just best friends that kiss for forever or for 5 months

anYWAYS

No kisses but hugs

TAKES YOU OUT TO HAVE FUN

Uh u guys have vending machines in America right we don't have that here but yk in movies where it gets stuck and u can kick it

You

Both kinda do thaT

“Damn it the Bar didnt fall”

“Its fine, michael, we can go an-”

*KICKING NOISES*

“mICHAEL-”

“I got you your granola bar and a couple of coins”

You didnt get caught by some police or smth

But a kid saw, though you both didnt know

You guys go to arcadeee

Honestly i don't go out much and the only times i get to go to an arcade is a blessing and i have only small experiences there BUT

YK THOSE PHOTO BOOTHS?? YEAH SO YOU GUYS GO IN THERE AND TAKE RANDOM PICS

So lets just say this arcade has a gigantic version of flappy bird and crossy road

Two player game #2 but competetive shit

OH AND JEREMY

You guys are besties too

Coincidentally, hes there with christine (theyre cute together kfkhakgfka)

You and christine team up against them in DDR

You and christine won 😎

You guys then went and got some food at 7-eleven

ALSO CHRISTINE AND MICHAEL ARE BESTIES OK NO I DON'T TAKE CRITICISM

LITERALLY SCARIEST, CHAOTIC AND CUTEST DUO

Overall, whatever made you sad- you forgot!!

We all need a michael mell in our lives tbh

#this was fun thank you for requesting!!#Michael mell headcanons #Michael mell x reader #be more chill x reader #be more chill headcanons #BMC x reader #BMC headcanons #bmc headcanons #bmc Michael mell x reader #x reader #headcanons #fanfiction #hcs

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whumpshaped · 2 years

Note

Is there anything you've waiting for an excuse to rant/talk about but the opportunity hasnt presented itself?

so this is half a lie bc ive been talking this nonstop for 5 days or so- BUT not publicly.

the spk storyline.

yes- yes- i know- "but tamara youve been doing nothing but post drabbles and picrews and-" SHUSH. I HAVENT TALKED ABT THE FULL CONTEXT AND STORYLINE YET. SO NOW I WILL. SIT DOWN.

ok ok so the entire premise of the spk au i have w @whumpsday is that kane somehow gets taken from the hunters to seth. and meets pumpkin. and theyre both horribly horribly tortured right.

now. this au has a rescue arc. BECAUSE bellamy, that fine ass man swoops in and kills seth. that does not go over well w pumpkin who, while less and less by the second bc of kane's treatment, is madly in fucken love with that man. and of course seeing bellamy commit murder??? is scary??? so pumpkin is TERRIFIED.

now after the rescue pumpkin spends a while being skittish and hostile towards bel, while kane is trying to sort out his own trauma and also manage that, and bellamy is trying his best to be like... non-threatening- but how do u act non-threatening after killing someone yknow- AND on top of all that, pumpkin is going mad without their daily fix of dehumanization. enter anton de sang. whom pumpkin sees and thinks yes. that is the man.

SO BABY PUMPKIN RUNS THE FUCK OFF AFTER ANTON TO BE LIKE "sir? sir? can u step on me?" AND ANTON IS LIKE. GLADLY?? WHAT A FUCKEN WEIRDO. pumpkin gets WHUMPED. while kane and bellamy r freaking out bc they find pumpkin's note abt where they went and they Immediately go after them. theres some angst in here i dont wanna spoil but GOD its some good shit. pumpkin gets home safe tho :D

they all know this cant go on, this is very unhealthy, kane offers to act like pumpkin's new owner in exchange for them never running off again, and pumpkin turns it down bc they know it makes kane SO uncomfy. but bellamy has great acquantances..... and this is where ambrose comes into the picture. u guessed it, the man is a professional vamp dom. thats how he and el meet. oh yes, by the time that happens, pumpkin finally gets the courage to leave the petname behind and start using the name el! which is a shortened version of their birth name that sounds more gender neutral and they love the sound of!

am helps them work through their little traumas while the two of them also fall for each other like nobodys business. in the meantime kane also finally works up the courage w el's help to ask out bellamy, and those two gay little lovebirds also get together. but oh no! el is... el is human... so when they and am finally get married (bc of course they do) that "death do us part" bit is pretty sour. am knows he only has limited time w them.

BUT BC THIS IS AN AU AND WE ALL WANT THEM TO SPEND 3000 YEARS TOGETHER IN HAPPINESS WE DECIDED HEY, AM COULD FIND OUT ABT THE ORIGINAL RITUAL THAT CREATED VAMPIRES AND TURN EL!!!!! so he does :D and from there its all sunshine rainbows and fluff, they live happily ever after as a huge happy family. am's parents kind of adopt kane, which does mean that they rly are one big family since both el and bel marry into it. so they just all share the same last name. oh yes bc neither kane nor bellamy would want to keep their original last names anyway bc of their stupid shitty families. SO YES. thats what we've been discussing for days now and its so good and im so happy it sparks so much joy

and then we have the dark spk au where seth actually survives that night and later bel and am go over to his house when the four of them realize hes alive, and get revenge :) this is a tasty au

theres the bbe or bloodbag el au, where kane takes el instead of jim and anton takes seth. thats where anton's on again off again girlfriend ruby comes in and this au splits into two once more

in one version seth gets taken by ruby later! which is way better than anton but also fucken humiliating bc ruby treats him like a silly little puppy. anton takes graham after this, like in canon

in the other seth never gets out from anton :) poor him :) lucky lucky graham tho

honestly the bbe is the sweetest shit bc el loves being owned by kane. they eventually rly grow on kane.....

we briefly discussed a feisty kane au too, where kane gets taken by the hunters, but before hes properly broken he gets taken by seth. that au includes kane being rude as shit to pumpkin at first. but also seth gets to break him himself :)

anyway heres a demonstration of the difference between spk and bbe

and heres ruby

thank u for this ask it means a lot i rly hope i didnt share anything mill didnt want me to share-

#asks #spk

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

Note

hi spence congrats on 200 followers i’m so proud of you!!!

hi i’m ri or rianna whatever works lol

my pronouns are they/them and i’m agender so like, i barely experience any form of gender but i’m afab if that helps lol

i don’t have a preferred gender just whoever you feel like i vibe with

i’d describe myself as compassionate, excitable, and a nerd

i’m a psych major so super passionate about that, i love music (i sing and play piano!), and i’m very into video games

in a partner, i’d need someone who isn’t gonna treat me differently cause i have adhd. they’d have to be willing to listen to my hyper fixations all the time. also someone who doesn’t mind how cuddly i am lol

someone who doesn’t actually listen to me would be an absolute dealbreaker

i don’t have an aesthetic per say but i like sweaters and being incredibly casual i dress very gender neutral lol

listen i love like, lemonade pink that’s kinda my thing right now (hence my kinda pink peach hair)

my favorite songs are wayv’s nectar, shinee’s replay, exo’s what is love, stray kids’ maze of memories, and anything troye sivan or halsey to throw some english in there for you lol

favorite genre is kpop for sure lol but like, i also listen to a lot of halsey, troye sivan, p!atd, some older 5 seconds of summer

for fun facts i’m an aquarius and infj so do with that what you will lol

i’m also a lil adhd nightmare that’s a huge part of who i am as a person

okay sooooo i did some thinking...

im gonna match you with....

☁︎︎ Hinata Shoyo ☁︎︎

look at him he's so cute anyway

How You Met

Your brilliant mutual friend, Kozume Kenma

He asked if you minded if his friend played games with the two of you because he was over and wanted to play video games

Which of course you were like sure because even if it got awkward you had kenma to talk to

Safe to say you didn't have to worry about that

The moment you guys started talking you just clicked and it was awesome

Actually

The MOMENT you started talking, hinata gasped because OH MY GOD YOUR VOICE IS SO COOL

Cue kenma facepalming in embarrassment

Take that as you will, he thinks your voice is amazing (more on that later)

Anyway THEN you two clicked and tbh you talked more than kenma could imagine

The more you got excited, the more he did, and then the more you did and it was just an endless loop of being excited and happy and so cute omfg--

I ship it

So does kenma

After you got off the phone with kenma, you got a text from and unknown number that just said “HI HI HI HI HI OKAY SO HI ITS SHOYO! KENMA GAVE ME YOUR NUMBER I HOPE THATS OKAY”

How can you not love him

Anyway

You guys talk more and more and CONSTANTLY text each other

And this turns into meeting up even without kenma

And texting super late at night and midnight talks and sharing everything with each other

And eventually he started to like you and realized “oh thats not just me being weird those are--those are butterflies. Okay.”

I'm lazy i have no idea how you got together but it was probably perfectly awkward and wholesome and really cute

General Headcanons

You guys don't have to go out for dates because you cuddles and play video games w LEDs on and its a whole vibe experience

And he loves it tbh like

Hes fine if you wanna go out or something thats fine

But he just likes spending time with you

And you being you

And he loves it

Quality time & physical touch love language like

Any time he can get with you is the best

Love love love love LOVES to kiss you

Just because he can

And because its fun

And like!! Who doesn’t like kisses!!

He of course respects your boundaries so if you're not a touchy person and will only do what you are comfortable with (even though he might get a little carried away once in a while and then immediately apologize if he even thinks if he made you uncomfortable) (like too tight hugs or something)

But if you do like hugs & kisses & holding hands and all that? He’s all over you 24/7 good luck getting him away

He has to be touching you somehow like holding your hand, arm around your shoulders, waist, whatever

That whole “you get excited he gets excited” thing? Still going strong

Anything that makes you smile, he’s IMMEDIATELY enthusiastic about like you cant get him to stop

Sometimes he’ll get into it more than you are

Hyperfixation mode go brrrrr

All he needs from you is to get excited for him when hes happy about something

“RI RI RI RI RI BABY GUESS WHAT?? DID YOU SEE THAT AWESOME SPIKE?? IVE GOT THIS VIDEO OF OUR LAST PRACTICE THAT YACHI TOOK FOR ME WHERE I DID THIS REALLY COOL ATTACK WITH KAGEYAMA--”

Good luck getting him to stop talking

Not that you would of course

But i mean like he’ll go off on some completely other tangent when you're literally trying to ask if he wants a snack

So you get up and motion for him to follow and he does

So you just make him the food you were gonna offer and he eats

And stuffs his face and then keeps talking

God hes so cute

anyway

ADHD nightmare brain? No problem. Him too. You two can just infodump at each other nonstop and just vibe

That’s all i've got for this one tbh

I wanna give you one more idea SO

Kisses

Again

Yes i'm back at this idk what my problem is maybe im just touch starved idk

Yknow what i think is cute? Eyelid kisses

Faces are just so weird and cool and every face is just a little bit different

And eyes in general are just really cool

So like

Hes grouchy grumpy in high school because youre taller than him

So he wants to kiss your forehead or eyelids or something (because thats so gentle ugh) he has to go up on his toes

And then growth spurt hits

And hes the same height as you

And then hes taller

And now he’s all giddy because “look ri baby i can kiss you now” and then kisses ur forehead and makes the little mmmmmwah noise

Protect him

Forehead kisses are more for day to day stuff but like

Im going back to the eyelid kisses here

Theyre for more sweet moments

Like the two of you are just laying in comfortable quiet

And he’ll kiss each of your eyelids

Then your nose

And then finally lips

And he pulls away with this huge grin on his face

Because he's so lucky and so in love

Okay last idea i swear

He’d get really mad at people really quickly because based on what i know about you i’d guess that you two would look relatively “straight passing” just bc long hair & afab yk yk (people are dumb)

And he’d IMMEDIATELY jump on people about pronouns like

“Oh your girlfriend is so pretty!” “I know, they’re amazing and I’m really happy they love me as much as I love them.”

And just

Death glares

Bottom line protect this precious baby but he's also gonna protect you bc he loves you

A Date Idea

Okay okay i mentioned this before

You guys do a lot of stay at home dates

Just because you can and its fun

That doesnt mean its not super fun though

He’ll come over in the afternoon and just greets you with a hug

Every time

Every single time is a hug and pronaly a cheek kiss but hug

And you guys go to play video games or a couple hours

After that? He’ll get bored, toss the controller to the other side of the couch/bed/whatever and sit behind you and wrap his arms & legs around you like a little koala

And listen to you play

And after a while you lean back and you guys cuddle for a little while because hes so comfy and who doesnt like cuddles

Until you can HEAR this man’s stomach rumbling and youre like “do you want dinner” and hes like YES PLEASE

So you guys go make dinner together

Sometimes you order takeout but imagine how fun c o o k i n g with hianta would be

After dinner its movie/video game/board game time and you guys just vibe like that until you go to sleep because you guys do sleepovers and he still calls them sleepovers even as an adult and its cute

Yall ive given up on the zodiac research im sorry im too tired for this-- anyway edit timeeeee

Your Aesthetic

Playlist

Ugh i'm sorry I don’t know a lot of kpop and I don't just wanna give you the first song that I hear that I think is cool y'know? But I’m gonna listen to some of the things you recommended one day if i remember (lol remind me please)

Accidentally In Love - Counting Crows

Pretty Face - Public

cotton candy (Acoustic) - YUNGBLUD

Love It If We Made It - The 1975

Always - Panic! At The Disco

Runners up

Nishinoya Yuu, Bokuto Koutaro

#ri — ⚡️#//ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘꜱ

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ghostofcitrus · 3 years

Text

more gender crisis bc i need somewhere to document this shit and also if u wanna read and say smth that’s cool too 🥺 fair warning it’s kinda longgg. but there’s a tl;dr and i tried to make the paragraphs short so it’s easy to read and i sorted the thoughts by paragraphs

ok so when i see a girl or group of girls or smth i, for the most part, am like yeah same. i have the same lived experience and like yeah u look cool and i relate in a lot of ways.

but like i also feel the same w non-binary ppl. i see agender ppl and i’m like oh nice that sounds like how i want to live MY life!! i get jelous. i saw a gender ambiguous person the other day and i thouvht i was going to lose my mind i was like AKSJSHJSJSNS Y O U. I WANT TO BE YOU. i talked to them i was like 😭😭i love your hair😭😭 and it was so compelling just seeing them i got my hair cut later that week. i like it.

and i cut my hair and i’m like y e s. and i’ve always wanted a very small/flat chest and have planned on getting a breast reduction (meaning i want basically no tits. i’m like a DDD rn. and i’m short and have a baby face so that’s like. very noticeable. pain.) ASAP. but i like dress and being seen as a girl? but i also want to be non binary, but it feels like something im striving for. i don’t feel like i’m there. i feel like i WANT to be there but i just keep hitting roadblocks.

when i think about OTHER girls, i’m like yeah. i relate to that. but when i think about myself. fully isolated. i want to present like a feminine agender person. i am connected to my girlhood. girl, sister, girlfriend, daughter... all of them accurately describe me. but i also like person, sibling, partner, child.

i like femininity. i like being seen like that. and being seen as a girl is cool and fine. but i don’t feel like it accurately describes all of me. but i’m like scared??

i want to be a “girl” in the way that when u look at me ur like ... is that a girl? my face i like lmao. it’s round and feminine. cool lol. my body.... i wish with like all my heart i woke up one day w/o titties or major curves. but i’ve literally work so hard to accept and like myself in my body. YEARS of forcing myself to look in the mirror and compliment myself. deconstructing fatphobia was a big part of it. but in my head. with no mirrors around. i think of myself as less curvy. a small fame, but not really curvy. much more neutral features. i forget what i actually look like. but when i do look in the mirror now i’m like she’s pretty. i like how she looks. nice. but it doesn’t really feel like me. but i feel cool. it’s like nice makeup that’s someone else chose for u and never comes off. like yes. that’s nice. but... it’s not like “me”. i feel like that about most of my features. but i’ve grown up in them. i don’t hate them. i think they look pretty and i feel confident enough like this. and after all the work i’ve done to get to this mindset... it’s just not what i want.

i think part of what’s messing with me is i’m automatically more comfortable with other girls/afabs, like we just share experiences and i can generally understand how they socialize. guys like,.. not so much. but most of my actual friends have ended up being guys. but im naturally wary of guys. and most around me end up being fucking republicans anyways. and another part of what’s getting to me is when i’m going about my life, i enjoy being stereotypically feminine. like i like to be taken care of, feel small , that bs. maybe it’s internalized misogyny that i feel like the only way i can be that is as a girl.

i also think i just have no idea what it would really feel like to go about the world non-binary. like i just want to keep blending into the background. i don’t want to be that noticeably different, i’m already autistic.

i think it’s also weird bc since middle school have been having periodic gender crisises but they always end in me just getting embarrassed, finding transmeds on the internet and also getting embarresed, not wanting to stop being feminine, or deciding it’s just not worth it.

and i think another thing is, i’ve always felt more connected to girls, but always on the outskirts of that, but that might just be because i’m autistic. but like i’m feminine in the sense that i like dresses. and being taken care of that and that shit. girls tend to really fucking irk me a lot of the times. i don’t really feel “connected” to them, more like “stuck” with them but making the best of it. some are pretty cool :) tbh it’s mostly just other autistic or queer girls i vibe with. other than that.. i struggle a lot to feel connected.

speaking of being autistic.... i’m realizing a lot of what i’m feeling is similar to how i felt when i first started to consider that i was autistic. when i was alone or in a space i was totally comfy in, i felt very confident that i was autistic. but when i was around people, i was like no i’m definitely not. and even now. i know i mask whenever i’m not alone. but i’m literally so fucking used to it it’s not hard at all. it hardly feels like a mask. just a different version of me. not the most authentic, but it’s how i operate around others. so whatever. not what i like per say. but in most cases, i can deal with it and still be perfectly happy (ish). this is exactly how i feel about all of this gender shit.

but i think part of my hesitancy to identify like this is i’ve never met ppl irl who identify as non-binary. that wouldn’t be a group for me to find and relate to and be comfortable with, i’d just be the different one. and i’m already different. and people don’t really get neopronouns and that shit.

ok and i’m anxious about my boyfriend as well. he’s a straight guy, idk how he’d feel about me being non binary. but i don’t want to sacrifice our relationship, so it’d be fine, because i also like my name and pronouns now. i like the shortened version of my name better tbh but i think my name sounds cool. mostly because saying it is a vocal stim for me, same with my partners name fore some reason. i just think they’re good names. they feel good to hear and say. and i’ve always been described that way and i’m like yeah that’s me.

i like dresses. feminine clothes? yes pleaseee. i like how girl are generally the ones who get taken care of. i like feeling small and dainty. i like being silly and cute. but like ... silly and cute arent like “girl things”?? but idk.

but i like “girl”. not “ladies” or “woman”. that feels too much like “female” and the only time i feel like i relate to that at all is in very specific situations. i’m feminine. i like that. i wish i could be feminine in an androgynous way tho????????

TL;DR: closing thoughts. if i were the only person on earth and i could do whatever i wanted like magically. i would change my appearance to look like my picrew... but like for an ex think Crona from Soul Eater of Ed from Cowboy Bebop. both of them are androgynous but when i see both of them i’m like they’re kinda feminine too! like that’s what i want to look like. i’d probably go by Citrus and neopronouns and maybe she/her (they’re fine but i feel like i’m lying about being non binary when i use them). ya know. how i want to be. but in reality. i am scared of that. it sounds like a lot of work and a big change that i could probably never really achieve. i also hate change. and constantly explaining shit.

also do cis people PINE over this shit the way i am? i’ve done this multiple times for years. not consistently bc tbh i have other shit i need to spend energy on but when i’m not pouring energy into somewhere else i tend to circle back to this. maybe that’s a sign that i’m right.

#my post #citrus speaks #citrus gender crisis #long post #questioning demigirl #demigirl #nonbinary #questioning gender #gender questioning #terfs and transmeds literally do not even look in this posts direction #anyways. when i realized this is how i felt when i was realizing i was autistic shit kinda starting clicking and feeling more valid

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genderpunktheo · 4 years

Note

Hey! Im confused about whats happening on twitter, so i just wanted to ask: the whole... argument. Disaster. Whatevers going on over there. Is it to do with you refering to the ‘bottom growth’ (is that actually the technical term?) as a dick, which like yes sure. But then im seeing people saying your saying the vagina/that whole area is a dick because a trans man has it, though i cant see where you did say that, which is confusing me. Because... its not, is it? The whole thing with people

Going ‘you dont have a dick your a biological women’ is dumb and transphobic, but is it correct to call those areas a dick if theyre... not? Outside of like, casual references, i mean in the more literal sense. this is all coming from a cis person whos only just learnt that this is a thing and thats why its throwing me off, i dont wanna sound like im coming from a ‘your wrong’ perspective! Im just not sure of the terminology, because a trans man who doesnt have a ‘growth’ or w/e would be a Man with a vagina, right, or would we say its a dick? I have no idea if this makes sense sorry

This ask is really old now (sorry about that! I read it at the time but just did not have it in me to answer after everything that went down on twitter) so I doubt you’ll even see this but I’ll give answering it a go anyway.

So... when it comes to things like genitals, every trans person is gonna have a different way of dealing with that dysphoria (if they experience bottom dysphoria at all). Some trans guys are gonna call it a vagina and a clitoris, some are just gonna say “junk” to make it neutral and yeah, some are gonna say dick (and of course, any trans man who has had bottom surgery does indeed have a dick!)

Like you say, this happens often with “bottom growth” because one the clitoris grows on testosterone it can look and even function (since it will also harden or get erect when you’re aroused) much like a micro-penis. Is it exactly the same as a cis man’s penis? No, it’s not. Of course not. But... trans bodies don’t have to be the same as cis bodies. They’re still bodies. And technically, the clitoris is made from the exact same tissue as a penis. So, I would argue its perfectly correct to call it a dick if that’s how you view it and that’s what you wanna call it.

Now I’m not saying that that means you should go label a clitoris “penis” on an anatomy chart. I’m just saying that while bottom growth isn’t biologically identical to a cis man’s penis, it’s also not biologically identical to a cis woman’s clitoris so... the lines are kind of blurred and you can call it whatever the fuck you wanna call it.

Some people also use terms like babydick or dicklet to describe the fact that it’s obviously smaller and not exactly the same. Or words like T-dick to describe the fact that it’s growth from testosterone.

As for if you’re not on T (like me)... then yeah it’s far more of a casual thing. I’m not an idiot I’m fully aware that I don’t actually have a penis. But I personally find it dysphoric to call my clitoris a clit, so I refer to it as my dick. Other than this one situation, this isn’t something I would usually ever speak about publically so this would just be between me and my long-term partner, who of course, has seen my junk and is aware of exactly what I have down there. It’s not misleading anyone or anything like that, it’s just a term that makes me more comfy.

I’m perfectly happy saying that I am a man with a vagina. That is correct and true and fine. It’s just the clitoris word that spikes my dysphoria. I don’t know why, it just does. So yeah... when I’m talking with my partner, I say I have a vagina and a dick rather than a vagina and a clit.

The whole situation on twitter started because someone jokingly tweeted about how giving a trans man a blow job (referring to bottom growth in this case) is a different skill set to giving a cis man a blow job. Some random cis guy came into the conversation to go off on one about how that wouldn’t count as a blow job so I basically told him “sucking dick is sucking dick, doesn’t matter if the dick is cis, a strap-on, bottom growth or whatever.” He proceeded to argue about whether it counted as a dick before finally saying that he’d googled pictures of it and now agreed that it was a dick.

So... I tweeted some screenshots and was like “hey cis people maybe don’t act like this... it’s kinda weird for you as a cis person to decide that it’s up to you what terms we’re allowed to use for our bodies.” Note that I was not saying that it’s the same as a cis penis! I was just saying you can it a dick or call oral a blow job if you want to!

And for some reason... this really pissed people off. Lots of transmeds calling me a trender because “only a trender would go around saying they have a dick out of nowhere” which I find doubly frustrating because a). it wasn’t out of nowhere, some cis dude started it and b). i am 100% sure that if I called it a clit instead I’d be accused of being a trender for not being dysphoric enough. You just can’t win.

Obviously lots of transphobes but also quite a few trans people. Who all wanted to make jokes about my body or how I have sex. Really nasty stuff, outright transphobia and bordering on sexual harassment. There was a lot of people who were attacking me for saying that a clitoris is a penis or because they thought I believed that it’s factual to say it’s identical to a cis penis.

But... I never said any of that. All I said was that it can be a dick if you call it a dick (when it comes to stuff in the bedroom! Obviously medically speaking is a whole other issue). Because your sex life is your business.

So there you go. There’s my thoughts on genitals. Hope that makes sense!

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princeleyjeans · 3 years

Text

Another thing I wanna talk about is a scene from the W&G reboot fix my ass NEEDS to write but can't rn thanks to buuuurrrrrrrrn-out! Whoo! Gotta love unstable mental health. Anyway! The scene is aftermath of a big, fabulously posh and extravagent party, imagine Ball/MET gala, everyone rich and judgey is there, Lady Tottington has done her schmoozing and arse kissing for the next Veg comp, getting all the sponsers and that, and as the night rounds up, Amelia steals Wallace away from Gromit and Fluffles who've somehow become Coat boy and receptionist (It's hella cute and they love the break from the pups) and taken him upstairs. WHY this is so note worthy (its not, really, I just like it and wanna talk about it) to me personally is because obviously, everyone imagines (Even me, despite being the writer???) they're gonna do the do, Wallace himself probably thinks the same thing, hence why he's hella nervous and wanting to yeet real bad cus he has no knowledge of ladies, none he remembers that is XD But, it isn't, the door closes behind them, bolts shut, they fall onto the bed like some tella novella couple about to passionately bump uglies and then Amelia breaks out some good old VHS tapes! "These were my favourite growing up! Nothing can capture the magic of vintage cinema like these. Make yourself comfortable, this won't take more than a minute" It's hella tumblr, you'd see gifs of this scene if it were a real thing. the wee hours are just the two snuggled up, watching old films and Wallace being started at how this dominating predator of a woman is suddenly reduced back to a wide eyed girl, capsulated by disney classics and Detective noirs. Granted, this is already mainly tumblr trash as Wallace is a man canonly, I assume, somewhere in his early 50s and Amelia was written to be just at the edge of 32 (She was originally 25 before I grew up and realised how gross that was. To be fair I designed her when I was like 9 'not joking', so I'm not gonna shit on myself that hard...wish growing up would've changed my taste in men tho) cus the whole point of her was to be an active, evil, romantic constant in his life that even Gromit couldn't bulldoze away. Also, you know, I, the writer prefer older men so that of course had to be a thing...yayyyyyyy. Back to the point, this scene is supposed to open up her character, you go in thinking "Oh christ, she's Victors kid, she's skilled with guns and hunting and all this dangerous shit, this is gonna go one of two ways", but then you get the THIRD WAY (Gta v ref right there), option C baby! And she is still this frightening presence that Gromit tries to rid them of and rescue his master from, however unlike the cartoon, the happy ending doesn't require rightious justice. Yes she is still a villan to some extent, hunts, kills animals, makes deals with seedy ass people abroad, but Amelia also melts into a semi neutral on her own side but also Wallace's side good-ish guy. She's complicated and something Nick Park would never add to his creation but as a fiction writer I can add some spice to something that one day, might be sold to someone who could add spice or would be willing to see my spice (I'm talking about ideas, not drugs here). Amelia is a villan, not entirely evil but you don't stand in her way, at the same time, she can learn and shift and change if its worth something to her, like all of us, especally when it involves Wallace because she loves him, and he's a pretty forgiving guy so the business with Victor is deemed sorta rectefied cus he's been beaten to a pulp and is now stuck with a walking stick and all that dark ass jazz. Wallace has put that stuff aside so he an Amelia can have a life together, plus family gatherings are a hoot when the dad in law tried to murder you and your brother in laws...know how to dispose of a body--OKAY IM DONE BYE

#Wallace and Gromit

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cmescapade · 4 years

Photo

my long overview/review of ‘Star Wars: Journey to Batuu’ after forcing myself to play it almost nonstop

so i said i was going to amend what i said in response to this ask after playing to min/max shit so here is a tldr version of my opinion after playing:

I consider this pack to be a 2/10; It's enough to kill time as a temporary distraction, but not for long. There’s absolutely no replay value after going through all those missions as each outcome is ultimately the same by faction. There also doesn’t seem to be any negative outcomes for each prompt in the little “choose your adventure” pop ups--And if there is, it is extremely low since I have never gotten a negative outcome.

The aspirations are fair, and are the only things I found in this pack that’s anyway redeemable since I believe the rewards can be used well in conjunction with general solo/super-sim gameplay.

kinda sat on this for a while bc i wasn’t sure if i should post something so lengthy but then i remembered this is my blog n i can post my left toe if i wanted to

even tho i would never post a pic of my left toe anyway

.......at least for free. With the right price, however....

anyway more details under the cut if you’re interested bc i like to ramble :))

I decided to split this into 5 sections to organize my thoughts a little better. I’ll be separating my thoughts on each faction, the ships as a rabbit hole, the faction missions, the star wars aspirations, and then the breakdown of my 2/10 rating.

1. Factions

When you travel to Batuu, the game gives you a starting “mission” or quest to get you acclimated to the areas, and each area has a specific Faction associated with it.

And yes, you cannot live anywhere, nor are there any lots, as was already stated.

Every area has a similar makeup which has:

Control Panels

Supply Crates

1 non-rabbit hole area

1 interactable ship

The Black Spire Outpost is the biggest area and has:

Two places to grab food, three if you count the Cantina

Aside from the Cantina, the other areas are rabbit holes

The two eateries are:

Docking Bay 7

this one has the most food options

you’ll never go hungry in batuu because the cheapest items on the menu are Outpost Popcorn Mix and Water at 0 credits lmao

the other two foods not shown in the screenshot above are Yobshrimp Noodle Salad and Braised Shaak Roast

Ronto Roasters

This food place has two of the same options Docking Bay 7 has as well as two additional food items

Oga’s Cantina

The only area that you see the inside of

yea the bar serves batuu-only drinks too

also where you find the guy who would give you Scoundrel missions, Hondo Ohnaka.

You can essentially max your Scoundrel reputation without it hindering whichever side you wanna take, and you can keep it when you essentially max out your rep on either the Resistance or the First Order.

There aren’t any real pros to being a Scoundrel aside from some socialization interactions. It doesn’t do anything for initial Batuu gameplay aside from unlocking Scoundrel outfits in CAS and some upgrades for your droids, but this goes for all of your options (Resistance, First Order, & Scoundrel).

The Dwelling

This is a rabbit hole where your sim goes to sleep, pee, or shower… If not the closest bench.

It’s located opposite to the Cantina.

If you’re ever lost, there’s a spire you can sit/nap on right in front of it–or you can just wait till your sim wants to pee.

they’ll automatically run there

that’s… how i found it, tbh

Dok Ondar’s Den of Antiquities

Another rabbithole

This place sells items you can use to complete missions, like Dataspikes and a couple of Lightsaber parts

Majority of the inventory are decorative stuff to bring back with you

Savi’s Workshop

Right behind the antique shop is the lightsaber place where you can find more hilts, kyber crystals, and display cases for your lightsabers.

You can also click on the shop to start a lightsaber challenge.

Outside this area, you have the First Order District which has more supply crates and control panels than the other two neighborhoods, and a lot more activity–Makes sense since this is basically the hub for the First Order in general.

There’s only the Droid Depot in this area, and the only real shop that has use for credits. Food wise, there’s a food stall, and if your sim is stinky or tired, they’d basically disappear for a few minutes to recharge and come back.

Droid Depot

Each faction has specific Droid personality traits

Aside from “voices,” these personalities don’t do much

I guess the First Order one is a lot more zap-happy though

The Resistance Camp is even smaller. Like the other areas, it’s littered with supply crates, but only has one control panel and no shops. However, there’s a rabbit hole toward the back in the Caves.

This doesn’t lead you to anywhere interesting, and it’s just another ‘choose your own adventure’ kind of thing.

2. Ships

In the Black Spire Outpost, you’ll find the iconic Millennium Falcon. You can do kessel runs and explore in the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca if you have a high Scoundrel reputation.

However, although I said you get to ride with Chewbacca, you don’t ever see him come out

He just kinda……………..stays there

and the prompts tell u he’s there

n ur gonna have to go with it and use the power of your imagination to believe he really do be there

In the First Order District, there’s the TIE Echelon, which functions the same way as the Millennium Falcon… But, you can’t do anything outside of exploring or using it for missions. This is how the X-Wing Starfighter in the Resistance Camp functions as well.

It’s all pretty copy and paste, but w/e, that’s how EA does it

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Missions

There may be several different missions per faction, but to no one’s surprise, they’re all literally the same one but worded differently.

Regular missions only have one plus (+) and one negative (-) icon

Regular Scoundrel missions only have one plus icon and no negatives since they don’t impact other factions

Each faction has a regular mission that pertains to:

Obtaining information

Exploring with the faction’s designated ship

Stealing from Supply Crates

Hacking a Control Panel

Yes………………….They’re very repetitive

You don’t have to do all of them though

You can spam the same one over and over as long as it fits the time slot

For example, the Resistance’s ship exploration mission is limited to only the day time and seems to disappear when it gets late in game

also there’s an error with the TIE Echelon where it’s missing a whole ass prompt

……As you can see, the options make no sense because the prompt is the same one that came before it 🥴

anyway…

Story Missions are the only missions that seem to differentiate from each faction.

All missions that pertain to the “story” are indicated with prerequisites of higher ranks within the faction

All of them give a double boost toward your faction

If it’s a Resistance story quest, it’ll always increase hostility from First Order members

Vice versa for the First Order faction

The Scoundrels are neutral, and do not impact any faction

It’s only the Resistance and First Order factions that have very similar plot lines

but I’m guessing it’s only like that since they’re supposed to follow the vague cause/effect the two of them have?

4. Aspirations

The initial Aspiration you get when you pick the Star Wars umbrella in CAS (or in game) is “Hope VS Order.” After completing this one aspiration, you unlock the 3 that pertain to each faction.

Paragon of Hope

Resistance aspiration

Reward trait gives a boost to Charisma skill building

This is probably nice for those careers that need Charisma to be high, like the Political and Business branches

Enforcer of Order

First Order aspiration

Lowers chances of “Death from Anger”

Since I like killing my sims, I think this aspiration is pointless lmao

Galactic Privateer

Scoundrel aspiration

“Sleight of Hand” reward trait

Unlocks pickpocketing outside of Criminal branch usage

Best one here tbh

Works outside of Batuu, you’ll steal simoleons instead of credits

Also you can cheat whenever u play Sabaac and no one will notice

5. Reevaluation of Initial Opinions

I’ll be going through my initial list from my Response to the Ask I got before. I originally stated that it seemed promising and it was a 3.5~4/10.

Aesthetics/Visual: my opinion is unchanged, it still made me sad i can’t have a little shanty house out there or rent a garbo lot, 0.5/5

The longer I played, the more I didn’t find any new animations

The lightsaber sparring slowly began to look like a mash between GF and RoM duels after a while

I still hate that the areas were beautiful (+0.5) but the interactive places forced cutaway

why do you wanna ruin my screenshots like this, man

CAS/BB still is hard to integrate–Unless your sim is a geek with figurines, the ship models might be nice to add to their collections

Otherwise……

….

I don’t have a follow up for that, sry

Gameplay: uhhh at least i found something i could use outside of Batuu, 1.5/5

I think that playing 3984729847 repetitive missions for a long period time really orientated me to the whole map

…but the fact that i had trouble the first time around still makes it not-user friendly

the issue I had with the resistance members not having an icon? It’s a thing, I guess

The resistance quests take you on a weird trip to “prove” yourself so i guess the icons are supposed to show that they’re “not” resistance members or something idk

they’re supposed to be the sneaky underdogs who wanna do good or w/e

I guess that’s immersive…….. +0.5

sry im first order trash

they also have “Ignite the Spark” and “Ask about Missions” both leading to the same mission screen……………….

convenience?? i guess??

missions are still confusing, made worse when the game itself glitches up a storm

there was one mission where i had to go to the cantina to find someone

and they wouldn’t spawn within the time frame………….

i had to go in and out for like 3 days until they actually spawned

i only knew this bc i arrested half the people in the cantina while i was bored

so anyone without a red bar was probably them lmfaoo

also, as i stated above……. there’s some mission errors in the prompts

Currency is still worthless.

Everything can be done by purely stealing from supply crates

Credits are only worth to blow it off on sabaac!

The only real need for credits is to have 1,000 so u can buy a droid

Then slam the rest of those credits on the table to bet bajillions on a game of sabaac!

Aspirations………. Useful +1

Despite them being sorta niche, they’re pretty decent

Can abuse the rewards for optimal gameplay for a super sim

Honestly i just love the pickpocketing reward off the Scoundrel aspiration, just because it works outside of Batuu (and that he didn’t have to be in the Criminal career for it either)

In total, my personal rating for this pack is 2/10.

It was nice, but I don’t really see this pack being replayable, considering that i did everything there was to do on Batuu in a single trip. Sure I could’ve taken my time, but since everything would end up the same anyway, it felt like it was set up to be a one-time gig.

At least with JA you’re moderately forced to return so you can collect treasures that are RNG–In JtB, you can snatch up all that you need on Batuu from grinding everything like a nutcase. There’s also chances of failure in JA, but on Batuu that percentage is almost little to none. The most you’ll ever get is a dazed moodlet that barely lasts, a negative relationship, and being escorted to a loading screen.

I feel like this pack could be a little better if there were more risks involved, but there are barely any that I encountered. It’s just another weird, rehashed cash grab by EA.

#star wars: journey to batuu #star wars #journey to batuu #SW: JtB #sims expansion review #i could just say its a disappointment #but tbh the whole game is a disappointment #if you're gonna ask why i still play ts4 if i find it disappointing #i'll have to answer that w:#the games i play are a reflection of me #and I'M a disappointment #😎

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pinkykitten · 4 years

Text

Youth

IT chapter 2

Ben Hanscom x female! reader

Warning: none

Specifics: fluff, comedy, romance, one-shot, race neutral reader, terrible title

People: ben hanscom

Words: 1,024

Requested: By anon sweetheart, i was wondering if you'll agree to write about grown-up Ben Hanscom and reader, maybe something like the reader never knew Ben as a kid, but now they're friends (with secret crushes on each other) and he's afraid to show her any childish photos of him cause he's still ashamed of himself as a kid, and then the reader reassures him and upon that they finally confess their feelings... thank you in advance, if you're not interested that's fine! have a nice day anyway :)

Authors Note: phew its been a while. was kinda rusty but im happy to be writing again. im dealing w my life rn but i am trying to make changes that i wanted with my blog concerning my writing. there are going to be changes and im trying to make things clear for you guys and kinda sort them out thats why i havent opened up request. once i get everything situated then i will open request. ty guys for still sticking w me and my nonsense and ty for being patient. you guys r amazing!

You shook your umbrella a bit. Noticing droplets of water splattering everywhere at Ben’s front door. You were anxious and tense. You had known Ben now for months and saw him as someone you could depend on and trust. When he had asked for you to meet him at his house for dinner you were curious. What would you to speak of? You were asking yourself this question because recently you saw Ben in a different light. You noticed the way he smiled at you. How he would open the door for you and carry your stuff. Little things made you fall more and more in love with Ben. But what if he didn’t see you that way? Maybe it was wrong for you to come to this dinner. As your thoughts bombarded your mind the front door opened.

“Hello y/n,” Ben said merrily already ushering you inside.

“Hi. Guess the forecast was wrong,” you pointed up to the sky.

Ben chuckled, “I’m sorry for making you come out here in the rain. I hope you didn’t get too wet.”

You gulped, “no I had an umbrella and you know for you I would come in rain, hail, snow, falling meteoroids, you’re my guy.” You walked inside as Ben closed the elegant door behind you. “Your house is always so beautiful.” You looked up to see chandeliers and voice controlled items.

“May I have your coat m’lady?”

You shrugged off your rain coat handing it to him.

“Its okay. Its all fun in the beginning but then when you walk around this empty house by yourself each day, its gets pretty lonesome. Its true what they say money is fun for a minute but then reality starts breaking in and you just wish things were different.”

Your gentle hand found its way on his broad shoulder, “you know I’ll always be here for you. I’ll never leave you.”

Ben smiled, “drink?”

“Of course!”

Sharing drinks and a meal with Ben was so comforting. For a minute you imagined that you and Ben were a married couple just to fill your vacant heart.

Laughter filled his home as you two got started on talking about childhood. You were explaining how you got your head stuck in a fish bowl and Ben was cackling uncontrollably.

“...so then I had to go to the ER and there they managed to take it off and I got a real scolding when I got home.”

“Oh you poor thing,” Ben wiped his eyes from the laughter.

“This is what I looked like.” You scrolled through your phone to show Ben a picture of you young.

“That’s you? You were a doll! You were freaking adorable.”

“No, no, no I wasn’t. I looked like a child that was too full of energy. What about you? What did you look like?”

Ben’s hands suddenly became sweaty and he became nervous. His leg was bouncing up and down. He never wanted to show you what he looked like young, it was embarrassing.

“Oh I don’t think I have a picture of me young.” He grabbed your empty drink and his to put it in the sink.

You raised your brow, “really? Then whats this then.” You snatched from under the coffee table a book filled with his photos.

“No don’t look at that,” Ben sprinted as he jumped over the couch. “Please y/n, give me that.”

“You want this?” You lifted the book in the air. “Come and get it.” Running as fast as you could you circled the island in the kitchen. It was exhilarating being chased by Ben. He was a tall guy and he took big steps to get to you. This made you want to see the pictures more. You ran and ran and ran until finally Ben tackled you in the living room. The book was kept trapped in your arms and Ben knew only one way to get you to let go. He tickled under your arm. You busted out laughing away.

“Aghh Ben!” You couldn’t take it anymore and threw his book far on the carpet. He was caught off guard as you rolled from underneath while he was distracted and got to the book, opening it wide.

“No,” Ben sat as he watched you look at his most embarrassing pictures. His face was red. He groaned as he saw you taking your time.

You knew why he was shy but you couldn’t understand how he could hate himself. He was adorable and had that smile you fell in love with. He was a kind kid. Your fingers traced over a picture of him smiling. This was your Ben.

“Oh my God I can’t believe you’re looking at these pictures now. I haven’t shown those to anyone.”

You smiled as you turned around, “Ben you were beautiful.”

Ben was shocked. Usually women would make fun but not you. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t see why you were embarrassed. This is you as a child. You were adventurous and probably so smart. You were very adorable.”

“I was fat that’s what I was.”

“And to be honest if you didn’t lose the weight I would still love you the same.”

The whole room went quiet.

You noticed what you said and now you were the one embarrassed. You fanned yourself as you sat on the couch. “Did I say that? What I meant to say was you would still be an incredible person. I mean I would still like you. Gosh that doesn’t sound any better. I meant to say was-”

Ben smirked at seeing you so flustered and sat in front of you. He saw you kept going on and on and met your lips in a kiss. At first you were surprised at the kiss, wanting this for so long. Eventually you deepened it. Your hand wrapping around his thick neck. You jumped on his lap and he carried you so you would lay on top of him on the couch.

He broke the kiss, “did you mean it? What you said?”

You nuzzled your nose against his, “I did. Every last word.”

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories, @reginalinettis

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

Please Reblog, like or comment! It means a lot to me and I truly appreciate it:)

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shatterstag · 5 years

Photo

IT’S BELLAMY BRIAR!!! HE’S MY DND OC. HERE’S SOME ART OF HIM. NOW IM GONNA TALK ABOUT HIM THANK U FOR VIEWING AND MAYBE READING PLEASE LOVE MY BOY THANKS.

Bellamy Briar is an undead revenant ghost, who was brought back from death by an evil god of the unknown, dreams and secrets, The Hidden One, after Bellamy ritualistically sacrificed himself in a failed attempt to save his dying daughter.

He’s my oc and dnd character, and he is my favourite and most developed and complex oc I have ever made in my 15+ years of writing ocs. I originally created and played him for a (currently on hiatus) Curse of Strahd dnd campaign where he’s a plague doctor grave cleric with a penchant for being undead, rapier fighting, letting party members die before deciding he should heal them, and generally being the freaky resident cryptid everyone hates. He hides his appearance and nature behind a plague mask; in the campaign the party has no idea that he’s dead, and until I revealed it outside of the game during the current hiatus, the other players had no idea either.

💉💀 🌹 DR BELLAMY BRIAR 🌹💀💉

Age: ~100 at time of death, ~160+? at campaign start

Height: 6’4”

Pronouns: he/him

Race: sun elf w/ UA Revenant subrace

Class: grave cleric

Occupation: surgeon, physician, apothecary, plague doctor, failed dad, local sad ghost boy, horny goth priest dtf

Other shit: Gay, aspie, occultist, left handed, in love with fantasy satan oops

Alignment: neutral good (alive) / chaotic neutral (dead)

Proficiencies: Medicine (expertise, +10 babyee), history, insight, perception, intimidation

BACKSTORY!!!

In life, he was a gentle, mild mannered genius surgeon and doctor obsessed with the occult and stalked by a sinister figure in his dreams - the Hidden One (true name Indrik, @jacobin my dm’s oc and npc), watching and waiting for his prophecy to begin, of which Bellamy was supposed to be a core part of. Born in Barovia to displaced elven parents, he had a childhood of emotional neglect and abuse as his parents attempted to shape him into the black sheep prodigal son they believed would absolve him of his crime of being accidentally born, which trapped them forever with a newborn son in the purgatory-esque demiplane of Barovia.

When his sleepy rural village is obliterated by a terrible plague, Bellamy becomes the town’s plague doctor, desperately attempting to halt the inevitable. But then his adopted daughter - Anya, who Bellamy adores more than anything in the world - falls ill to the plague. Unable to find a way to save her he turns to occultism, black magic, blood magic and cannibalism, necromancy, all the while rapidly losing his grip on sanity and wildly experimenting with darker and darker magic.

With all his options exhausted, his village in ruins and Anya dying, he turns to long gone old gods in desperation. Alone, insane with grief, with nothing left to live for, he cuts out his own heart in ritualistic sacrifice, offering his own life and body in return for Anya’s to an unknown god he preys to........ who turns out to be the Hidden One, watching god from his dreams, furious that his prophecy tool has managed to kill himself before the prophecy could even begin.

The Hidden One, far from done with him, forms a pact with Bellamy to exchange Bellamy’s life for Anya’s.... but instead, brings Bellamy back to undeath as an empty ghost - devoid of body, emotion and humanity after the Hidden One eats his heart, ‘blessed’ with clerical powers over life death and the grave - and steals Anya’s dying soul to keep her ‘alive’ with him in the Abyss as his carrot on a stick to control and pacify Bellamy. Now he’s doomed to wander the countryside as a puppet spy for his god, obsessed with the idea of saving Anya’s soul, terribly lonely and unable to relate with the living he hides among while being forever cursed to haunt the plague doctor suit he died in.

Outside of current canon dnd story, I have likeee 70k+ words of prose written about Bellamy and uhhhhhhh also he and the Hidden One/Indrik end up oops enemies to lovers and my dm @jacobin and I are furiously obsessed with these two and I have literally not cared about or been more obsessed with a ship in my entire life, they are terribly sad boys in intense terrible love and have no idea how to make it work because one is a broken lonely god and the other is a broken lonely ghost and ALL THEY WANNA DO IS KISS AND BE HAPPY!!!!!

anyway thats my boy and his god boyfriend thanks for listening to my ted talk please direct your questions and queries straight into my heart

also hey follow me on twitter! I’m way more active and post art regularly! @ shatterstag

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mirohed · 5 years

Text

kim seunghun | love me, love me not

pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader

wc: 3.7k

genre: hanahaki au + angst

synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?

warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol

playlist: love me, love me not.

a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)

It's getting worse.

Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.

It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.

You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.

Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.

june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.

"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.

"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.

"You think?"

"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.

"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"

He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."

You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.

"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."

"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!

[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it

You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.

[09:56 PM] you: ofc

[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen

[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter

[Attachment: 8 images]

You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.

You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.

Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.

There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.

august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.

"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."

"Give him a chance."

"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."

"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."

The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.

"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.

"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."

You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."

"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."

"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"

He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.

"I call a compromise."

Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"

You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."

"I know. Do your work."

"Fine."

The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.

Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.

"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.

"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.

You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.

You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."

"Like if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."

"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.

Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).

The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.

You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."

october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.

You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.

[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up

[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here

[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!

[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN

"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.

"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"

"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."

You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)

"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.

Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.

You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.

[04:29 AM] you: hey

[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry

[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do

There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.

With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.

Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.

The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.

The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.

And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.

october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.

The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.

You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.

"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.

It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)

There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.

Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.

Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.

You blinked.

Blinked again.

"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.

Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.

Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.

You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.

There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.

You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.

Almost.

You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.

"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"

You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.

"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"

"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."

You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.

You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.

It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?

But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?

Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.

Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.

(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.

"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.

"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.

You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)

"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.

But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"

"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.

Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.

Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.

You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.

"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."

"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.

You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.

As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.

Along the side of the cup is his phone number.

[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend

[Attachment: 1 image]

The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").

It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.

It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.

You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.

Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.

Huh. That's weird.

There's no phlegm.

The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.

#seunghun scenario #seunghun imagine #seunghun angst #kim seunghun scenario #kim seunghun imagine #kim seunghun angst #ygtb scenario #ygtb imagine #ygtb fluff #yg treasure box scenario #yg treasure box imagine #yg treasure box angst #seunghun #ygtb #ari.doc #ariweek 2019 #c9boyz

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astrochemstry · 3 years

Text

Jared Kleinman HC: having a crush on him, you don't wanna admit it but everyone knows

I was lying in bed and then i got this idea and it sounded really cute so i made it a reality asjdfbasjh im having a brainrot

Reader is gender neutral and its romance

OK SO JUST IMAGINE

YOU LIKE THIS GUY

YOU DON'T WANNA ADMIT IT BCS HES COCKY AS HELL

BUT EVERYONE KNOWS

E VE RYO NE KNO W S

YES EVEN HIM

OK lets go to the start so

SO I HAVENT FINISHED THE BOOK AND STUFF BUT

I DO THINK JARED WENT TO SCOUT CAMP AS A KID TOO

SO you met there

And as in met

He accidentally uh

Well yk those log things you gotta walk on??

He slipped and accidentally bumped into you

And you fell on the mud lmao

Bro was trying vv hard not to laugh actually

“Kleinman, apologize to (Name).”

“Sorry.”

hE AINT GOOD AT THIS FORGIVE HIM PLS

Ok so like youre still mad but

Throughout your time there he makes it up with

aCTS OF SERVice

sO some hcs here are from @/bemorecronch pls check them out vv good at writing jared and hilarious as hell

So one of their hcs is that if he likes u he randomly gives u food

oH diD I NOT MENTioN??

THIS GUY LIKES YOU TOO

So like one time you dropped your snack and like vv frustrated bcs you fell in mud and now your snack fell in mud

So he goes up to you and shoves his spare sandwich onto you

Youre like ???? but then he jsut raises and eyebrow

“Don’t you know how to eat or did that dirt change everything in you??”

You choose whether you smacked him or not

But like after that and everything, he sat with you and just ate with ya

Then the crushing started

SO YEARS PASS

WELCOME TO HIGHSCHOOL OR WHATEVER TOOK PLACE IN DEH

yOU MEET AGAIN

“Arent you that mud person from camp??” “Arent you that asshole who shoved me??”

Sassy conversations

Murphy siblings live for it tbh

They love you

And then heres the thiNG

SO ONE TIME AT THE CAFETERIA

You guys just sat together and ate bcs i mean thats what you did at camp too

You guys we’re vv close and be reminded you have a crush on him

So liKE your body started to heat up and ik for some skin colors it wont be visible youre blushiNG BUT SINCE YOURE SO CLOSE HE CAN FEEL THE HEAT

Hes concerned bro “are you okay??”

“Yes im fine- just-” tHEN HE PLACES HIS HAND ON YOUR FOREHEAD

TO CHECK YK

Totally not an excuse to touch you

coIUGHGHcouG HH

So like you just froze?? Bcs oH SHIT ohIUSHAHH????

Alana was there and you were like oh thank god

But alana

aLANA KNOWS

ALANA SEES IT

But dw she doesnt like say it out and tease you

Takes you away and stuff “Oh god! (Name) are you okay? Lets go to the nurse.”

She doesnt take you to the nurse lmao

“So, you like someone?”

React how you want she aint gonna fall for you denying it

anYWAYS SHE DOES KEEP IT A SECRET

But like its you who, well, makes it less of a secret lmao

Like youre very expressive abt it

Everyone knows

The school knows

And you guessed it!

JARED KNOWS

Bro is happy as hell you like him back but don't forget hes a little shit

Teases you tbh

Like if youre sitting down and reading or smth hes just like “oh whats that??” and gets vERY CLOSE

From acts of service to physical toUCH

If you like passed a test or something he just awkwardly goes up to you and pats your back

“Good job” “uh thanks”

Hes silently crying inside bcs of that

Ok but like one day lets say Alana encourages you to confess

So you do and like when you see Jared youre just

Oh shit oh fuck oh no nope nO

But like he sees you and he just goes to you like “whats up??”

Its just casual

Too casual

So you didnt wanna confess in like a crowded hall lol so you tell him to meet you at some place like uh idk you choose

So Jared

Aint dumb ok

An asshole but this shit is fucking smart

And first thing he thinks is ‘theyre gonna confess. Definitely.’

No doubts bcs he knows u like him lmao

So you meet

And bro got a huge smirk on his face

“Soo- what did you want to talk about?”

Hes just so calm?? And casual? That youre freaked out and suspicious bcs you expect him to spit out some mean things and stuff

“Uh- this is- wait uh” “go on.” “weLL- uH”

Then he laughs

You guys know what im talking about

“You sound like Evan” hes wHEEZing

“LOOK i LIKE you okay???”

“Everyone does” “No i mean- the- the like like”

Bro acts like he doesnt understand

So uh yeaH you kiss hiM

Look he knows u like him but hes still shocked bcs daMN

In the end, he just goes “oh i know you do. Everyone does.” with a smiLE

Smack him smACK hiM

#this is the longest ive ever written but im pROUD #jared kleinman headcanons #jared kleinman x reader #jared kleinman hcs #dear Evan hansen headcanons #deh x reader #deh headcanons #dear Evan hansen x reader #x reader #headcanons #fanfiction #hcs #fanfic

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imaginefeawakening · 5 years

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hello heyo hiya

ack sorry guys, setting up three blogs at once, the spicy one, the normal one, and the spoiler one, the normal one is just about ready to go, forgive my test post uh i’m not wildin i swear. spoiler one won’t be pass protected, i’ll be using screenshots and private post links (I’m assuming private posts can be shared as long as you link it, right? If i’m wrong i’ll have to pass protect the blog), havent been slacking all day i swear, i just havent touched tumblr html in 5evr

May I present to you, https://imaginefethreehouses.tumblr.com/

“why don’t u use a different type of name this time” because imagine is a happy word and we all need some happiness in our lives right

still needs work but good enough, i’ll probably start doing fills next week, cause i’ll be binging a lot since i start classes in a couple of weeks, i’ll take breaks tho cause ive been leading a rly major fe project i’ll mention soon, but those of u on twitter may be able to guess what it is since it’s been making the rounds quite decently

--I do have rules for pre timeskip age stuff that you guys can guess what it is, however, I’ve provided alternatives! it’s detailed in rules but no student x teacher stuff, i’ll just make student ocs or teacher ocs (that you can insert your own ocs, or whatever you please) in. or you can ask for student!byleth and i’ll try my best! even if a student is 18 i don’t want to do it..if they’re older than that...i’ll think about it. it would still be super soft stuff only from byleth’s point of view, tho again, i’m fine with one sided feelings from students

no student spice tho, but teacher spice is ok, they can frick on/under/next to the desks in secret or whatever (but if u wanna get super duper spicy, tummywindow is the blog to go to wink wonk wink)

--the rules r extremely confusing i admit 100% especially cause my vision is blurring rn, so just. clarify w me. its basically whatever i do here, just over there, with more details. i am a nice person pls dont be afraid, I DO joke around tho pls dont take offense walkfamf (not offensive humor just. i’ll dunk on u guys lovingly, with love, with care)

spicy blog is over at tummywindow and spoil blog is called--actually the phrase might be muted by u guys but it’s linked on the desc of the main feth blog,

--you can send asks to the other blogs, html just won’t be pretty yet cause i spent all of my time today on that one and im about to crash in bed since its 4am. i don’t have rules page done yet for spicy blog but yeah i only write f/f, f/m, or gender neutral (which is a bit harder but i think...definitely possible for shorter stories, i’m trying to pick up new spice vocab. i am not v good at spicy stuff in general anyway but i like to feed ppl, i thrive off praise,) same rules apply in regards to student content.

--also i made a mistake, im doing blue lions, black eagles, golden deer, black eagles.

--i dont really care if i get spoiled in the spoiled blog asks cause i uhhhhhhh am too curious for my own good and may have been dabbling here and there, if its endgame ill be a bit sad LOL and be shocked you finished so fast, but i’ll be careful to just directly check asks for blogs instead of using my inbox for everything, i’ll be posting what i finish there when i finish tho, if anyone is still worried.

oh i’ve seen all timeskip portraits, and certain classes so, i don’t mind anything about that on the spoiler blog.

just keep calling me sev, i cant take any more mod names, who am i,

im not posting this on the fates blog cause i dont wanna get chased with a bat ahahaha--

#announcement

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starryseo · 6 years

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heart eyes. | seo changbin

this gif is perfect!!

pairing ↠ changbin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just fluff!!

wc ↠ 1533

summary ↠ chan is a terrible wingman.

warnings ↠ a biiit of swearing. like one word.

hi, i saw that your requests are open and i just found your blog but i love your writing so much already! i was wondering if i could have a scenario with changbin? where you are bff w/ chan and are 4 years older than changbin and also a few inches taller than him but have a crush on him. you don't do anything about your crush but chan knows about it and wants you two to get together. you can decide how you want it to end! thank you!

a/n ↠ thank you so much!!! + im sorry i know you said scenario but this is gonna be a bulleted scenario bc paragraphs take long for me and i dont want you waiting forever for this rip

hope you like it anyways tho!!!!

okay so!!

you’re a songwriter at jyp and you’ve worked with a lot of different groups in there, getting to know the trainees and debuted groups

when you’re not working with debuted groups, you’re helping out some of the trainees

some of them have told you how much they look up to you since you’re young but you’ve gotten so far in life, writing lyrics and melodies for one of the top 3

and they’re always asking you for tips and ideas and if you can read over some of the lyrics theyve written

and theyre always asking for your opinion on whether the melody goes with the lyrics theyve written

and you love how inspired and determind they are bc it’s hard being a trainee, going to school AND writing lyrics/ composing on the side

mad respect to all those out there

you’ve worked with a lot of trainees, but when jyp himself asked you to work w a kiddo named chan you were really excited!!!

ok hes not really a kiddo, he was a year younger than yourself but!! who cares!!!

you two hit it off really quickly, being vvv good friends in a short amount of time

some other trainees had suggested you listen to some soundcloud group 3racha and you really liked them!!!

and now!! you’re working with one of them!!!

jyp knew that chan was rly good at song writing and composing, and it was getting closer to the survival show time, so he asked you to help chan out

guiding him on how to write a Hit Song

so you worked closely with him before the show had started airing, running through the tips you had learnt through your years of writing

and you ran through different concepts and ideas he wanted to express through his music and songs

after a month of constant-coffee-meet-ups and late night freestyles you two had gotten vv close

practically inseparable, even tho you both were v busy, you w composing and him with his group

there rly was never a dull moment between you two and you rly liked having a proper friend that you could trust and vent to if need be

the day he introduced you to his group was wild!!!

he invited you out to a restaurant after the hellevator mv dropped

when you got there, he was standing at the entrance and he was like “:00 you came!!! took you long enough!!”

“i wasnt gonna miss out on free food now was i??”

he took you inside, saying he’d already gotten the table

and when you got there youre like

“,,,, why are there a bunch of boys at our table ://”

“theyre my group members!!!!”

:000!!!

they were quiet at first but when chan introduced you they all burst into cheers

it was just chaos like “hi!!!!!!!” / “hellooooooo!!!” / “omg!!!!!” / “thank you for helping w the mv!!!!” / “wow we finally get to see yn!!!!!!”

and youre just like ,,,,, what do i even reply to,,

so you say hi etc, introduce yourself and then take a seat next to chan

even tho you had known chan for a long time, you rly had only worked w him

like, he would always come to your office to work on stuff or you’d meet in public places, but it was only ever the two of you

so you were happy you finally got to meet the others!!

it was rly fun meeting all of them, they were so lively!!!

they were asking all sorts of questions abt you, your job, interests etc and they were rly thankful that you helped chan bc he imparted his knowledge + help onto them

and chan was like “yeah thanks for all your help!! this is all stressful so it was vv helpful that you guided me on how to do this stuff!!”

but as soon as the food came? they were silent

like seriously, there was barely any chatter

only small grumbles from jisung when seungmin stole his food

you had spoken to changbin a lot throughout the night

he was sitting next to you and you were internally Combusting bc

oh man you were sitting in between 2/3 of 3racha and you had to admit

changbin was probs your fave outta the 3 of them

man,, you really loved his tone of voice and how he could change it so easily within a song, and it would still flow so!! well!!!

you loved listening to him rapping sm and chan most definitely knew abt that

whenever he brought over lines/ ideas that he and the guys had written, you’d be like Wow i really love this part, it flows rly well w the melody

chan: “ah really? guess who wrote that!”

“,?? you?”

“changbin ;))))”

“whats with that face :/”

“ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) face”

“t h a t f a c e”

“youre the one that goes all Heart Eyes when i mention changbin n yet im making a weird face??? k then”

“PPPPFT shut up lets work idk what youre talking abt”

and he dropped the subject but that stupid smirk never left his face :(((

when you finished your food, chan who obvs had already inhaled his food just started nudging you like

“( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) nows ur chance”

“i can finally kill u?? :D”

“:( no wtf why would u wanna do that?”

“wait i have a list-”

“BRO </3 i meant nows ur chance to woo changbin ;^))))”

“to do what now”

“to KiSs KiSs FaLl In LoVe with bInNiE!!”

“omg youre embarassing how are You the leader??”

and he just kept that up the Whole Night

honestly youre surprised none of the other guys realised what he was doing bc he just kept smirking and nudging you whenever changbin so much as sipped his water and you would straight up Elbow Him

but then he was like “hey changbin :)”

and internally you were just like Oh Great here comes the Fuckening

and the dude literally Exposed you there

and you were just like ?? i just mET youre group and youre already telling them my life story???

Chan basically told changbin abt how much you rly liked his lyrics and you were just like

:))) I :)) Hate :))))) You :)))) ByungChan

and like there was no way for you to even defend yourself bc chan was making you out to be some crazy fan like “oh man yn wouldnt sTOP talking abt this one line you wrote in IF and it was like 4am like bro i already dont sleep and they kept me up”

minho the Jerk was like !!! theyre blushing aww!!!

Cue you going even more red like Bang Chan youre a dead man :)

And changbin was just rly ? bashful ? he was surprisingly mature abt this and he just kept his reply rly simple like “ah really? thanks, that means a lot, esp coming from such an amazing writer like yourself!”

and you felt like Dying bc

were you that weird in his eyes that he couldnt even joke abt this now?? like did he just find you Super Creepy he just went all Awkward + Formal on you???

nAH HE WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING BUt unfortunately you didnt know that bc he was holding it in so. well.

the major TBH is that chan was so trying to set you up

like,,, look at the seating arrangement man, he HAD to put you two together bc

you wouldnt stop talking abt how much you loved changbin’s skills

and omg changbin was even worse

as soon as he found out chan was working with you he was Begging to join too!!

he was like!!!! i need help!! so much help pLS LET ME WORK WITH THEM P L S

and chan just to tease the both of you prolonged this out for so. long. bc Hes the Devil

honestly he was so close to bursting into laughter when changbin gave you such a formal reply bc hE KNEW he was going crazy inside like

he always talked abt how cool you were with all the songs you wrote, he loved how you were so emotive and creative with your words, you really inspired him

and his bEST FRIEND was woRKING WITH YOU and NOT giving him your phONE NUMBER chan is the ult snake

chan basically confirmed everything when he asked you who your fave in 3racha was and you said that chan was

bc like lmfao s u r e it was

and then when chan told changbin your fave was jisung he looked the tiniest bit Sad which basically just confirmed everything in chan’s mind

and he felT BAD THAT he straight up lied to changbin bUT

he did that like the day before he was gonna introduce you two

so he had already planned to expose you and see changbin blush like Crazy

Unfortunately only you were blushing but,,, he Knew

and when he saw you and changbin trailing behind the group after dessert, phones out to exchange details, he Knew ;^)))

i rly didnt know where i was going with this and then i just button smashed this lmfao also sorry i didnt mention the height thing?? i didnt know if you wanted that to be an important plot point but i like the openness of this lmao sorry i’ll make up for it one day hopefully. i hope u like it anyway ++ im so so sry its so late!!!

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