#anxious!y/n x harrystyles | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tpwkwriter · 1 year

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u r my fave writter everrrr! And I wanted to recommend H helping the reader with anxiety, depression, an eating disorder and like a traumatic childhood. THANK YOUUUUU

My comfort.

First of all thank you so, so much Not only for your request but lovely words! 🥰

And wowser A traumatised y/n! 🫢but luckily H is there hey!

*Warnings* mentions of depression, anxiety, trauma,drug use!, body dysmorphia, struggles with eating and various mental health issues! My dms are open always! 🤎

Love your beautiful selfs! 🫶🏼

— — — — —

Ever since a young age y/n had been through various battles.

Her childhood was far from mundane, when she was about 9 her parents took to several different substances and would happily leave y/n and her sister alone for many hours through the day.

When the girl hit her early teens she was aware of what was going on and that realisation hit her like a ton of bricks, knowing her parents would rather be out doing his knows what, with god knows who then actually looking after her and her sister

When it was time for secondary school, y/n would still admit that this was the worst time for her. 7 hours of constant work to come home and play mother. The constant comparisons to her and her classmates drove her mad, the reminder of exams and work it was all a bit much.

When she hit 17 she went to college and took part in a weekend job to earn some money on the side. Of course her parents eyes lit up once they heard money was being made.

On y/n’s sisters 12th birthday y/n was finally able to buy her gifts and treat the young girl. However this didn’t go down with the rest of the family, y/n recalls this memory very clearly even though she’s been trying to repress it for years.

The argument they had that evening was booming, her father threw anything he could get his hands on, her mother threw every insult and shaming word there was, all of this because she wouldn’t lend them money?

The night quickly escalated when an empty vase was threw at y/n leaving a cut on her wrist that scarred and she still sees to this day.

From that night y/n picked up longer shifts, and more hours just for a bit more money and financial stability.

By her 18th birthday she could afford her first car, wasn’t anything grand but the freedom it allowed her was amazing, she finally felt proud of how she’s done this all herself, she finally felt pride in herself and not self hatred.

Fast forward to age 25 and her life was something she wasn’t expecting.

She was with one of the most recognisable faces, who was able to show her parts of the world she never thought she could, he gave her the biggest comfort and safe feeling that she ever so lacked.

Her sister was currently 21 living with her own boyfriend and was equally as happy, and both of them was as close as ever.

Y/n loved Harry with everything in her, and wanted no chance or risk that he would walk out on her. Y/n adamantly worked on her figure everyday, she started off her morning in the gym, went for a run at-least once a week, this was good n all but she slowly started slipping meals and going past them.

It was currently nearing 6pm and H had just come back from the studio and long day.

“Alright love?” He asks putting a hand on her waist and kissing her cheek as she was finalising dinner.

“Oh my god H” she giggled

“Y’made me jump! Didn’t hear y’come in” she smiled

“Was m’plan” he smirked kissing her again.

“How was y’day” he ask, reaching the top cupboard for too glasses knowing she wouldn’t be able to reach them.

“Was okay, got Tomorrow off so no excuse to get rid of me” she smiled.

“You?” She asked

“S’okay busy, happy to have our day tomorrow”

Dinner was finalised, and the both sat at the table speaking through there day to each other.

“Y’been to the gym today?” He asked

“Yeah” she answered.

“Did 2 hours in there today!!” She said proudly.

“M’proud of you darling, make sure we’re not overworking ourselves right?” He asks slipping her a look that was all too familiar.

“M’not, I just wanna stay, like this I guess?” She smiles.

“What do you mean baby? Y’gorgeous” he states.

“Have you eaten today?” He asks stopping in his tracks to watch her.

“Um” she wonders.

“I mean, m’eating right now, but I just wasn’t hungry really” she claims, taking another spoonful of her food to her mouth.

“Y/nnnnn” he playfully drags

“I promise I’ll eat more tomorrow, just, wasn’t hungry today!” She smiles.

“Y’did 2 hours in the gym and didn’t eat anything after?” He asks tone getting deeper and eyebrows raising.

“I really I didn’t mean to, I was running errands after and I forgot” she says standing up from her seat collecting the plates from them both.

H joins her in kitchen and helps her tidy up.

“Thanks H” she said.

“N’worries, thanks for dinner love” he says kissing her temple swiftly.

“Gonna get dressed, and then we can watch one of your bloody documentaries?” He smiles

“Y’know it H” she blushes.

They reluctantly parted, y/n found herself bundled up on the couch with a fluffy blanket awaiting her loves return, she found herself scrolling mindlessly on instagram.

When your current boyfriend has exes in the like of Kendall Jenner, cara delavine and Camille Rowe it’s often hard not to feel worse compared to them, curiosity took y/n over and she clicked on Camille’s instagram page, she was greeted with selfies, pictures of events she’s been too, her with her friends and various other things, her beautiful eyes, her shiny long hair, her model figure, she was straight out of a magazine.

Suddenly all of y/n’s work felt pointless, no matter what she would always be compared to these fashionable girls, that familiarity hits her once again.

She set her phone down and focused on the Tv in-Front of her and fell deeper into her fluffy blanket she was cuddling.

Without a word of exchange H joins her back on the sofa, sits next to the girl and guides her legs to his lap, allowing his fingers to gently trace over her shins and ankles.

“I love you” she says eyes remaining glued to the screen.

His movements stop and he turns his head to her.

“I love you too”

The night was slowly closing and the couple slowly started there evening routine.

Y/n was in there shared bathroom going through with her skincare before bed, a million thoughts popped up at once, she didn’t know if It was her anxiety or just her clear overthinking tendencies

Y/n glanced in the mirror, all she saw was all imperfections, she couldn’t even compare to Taylor swift or Kendall Jenner in anyway shape or form.

“Baby Y’alright?” Harry asked from the other side of the door.

She quickly tapped her phone to see the time just to realise she’s spent nearly an hour locked in the bathroom.

“Yeah baby m’now Coming out” she said shaking the train of though out of her head.

Silent tears roll down her face.

Him. He was so amazing in everything he did. His voice was safe. His words were so comforting. The thought of him not being around her terrified the shit out of her.

— — — — —

Part 2 coming soon!

Hopefully you all like this! There will be a part 2 as I don’t want this to be a really long fic, because I have many ideas what I want done with this!!! 🤎

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x0xomady · 2 months

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Uppercut*

pt. 1

harrystyles!boxer x reader!nurse

warnings: violence • fighting • cursing • degradation • smut 18+

(it’s only oral for pt. 1 !)

summary: y/n was hired as an underground boxing nurse. she was skeptical at first, but when she saw the man she was hired to take care of, she was ready.

word count: 2.6k

harry has been fighting since he was 14. it was never legal fights, it was street fights. growing up in the sketchier parts of the area, he gained many techniques that weren’t permitted in legal boxing.

so, when he realized he could fight well, he moved to underground fighting.

the only problem with underground fights is that you get hurt more often. somebody could be completely knocked out and they wouldn’t get help.

luckily, harry was a good fighter. that meant he hardly ever got severely hurt. however, he wanted someone there just in case something did happen to him. the problem was this was he couldn’t get a doctor because this was illegal fighting.

he needed to get someone that wouldn’t tell the police.

y/n was a nursing student. being a nurse is a great job, but she couldn’t make any money until she graduated from school. that was a problem. her parents wouldn’t help her pay for it, so if she didn’t start working soon she would never be able to pay off the debt.

very quickly, y/n became anxious and depressed at the thought of all the debt that was growing in her bank account. her friends noticed it and were worried about her. y/n never wanted to go out because she was so worried about money and how much she was spending.

y/n’s best friend zayn had been there for her since they were kids. she loved him, but she knew he was involved in some shady stuff. zayn felt horrible about all the things she was going through. in his line of work he was making more than enough money to help her, but she wouldn’t accept it.

zayn was selling pain medications to people in an underground boxing ring. he was making a great amount of money. so, that’s where he heard about harry styles. harry was the most successful fighter in the area and was very well known. zayn heard that harry was asking around for a nurse he could hire.

he was nervous about asking his friend to get involved in this world, but y/n needed the money and harry would pay her well. so, he got her the job as harry’s personal nurse.

y/n was shocked to say the least. she was nervous about this job. these were dangerous people she was working with. however, when she saw that harry was willing to pay her $2,000 a night she had to agree.

if she could work this job for a couple months, she could really make a dent in all the loan payments.

tonight was the first night of her new job. she was terrified to say the least. how do you treat someone like this? what if she couldn’t help him? what do you wear to something like this?

she ended up wearing a white long sleeved tee and black leggings. it all started to get real when she got to the place. it was in the basement of a bar in the middle of London. If you didn’t know to look for it, you wouldn’t even notice the bar was there. y/n clutched her supply bag tightly and took a deep breath before walking to the door.

the bar above had hardly anyone in it. as she walked in everyone looked at her and gave her funny looks. y/n looked extremely out of place.

when she told the bartender what she was here for he guided her down the stairs to the arena. once she was down there she was immediately hit by the sound of yelling. there were hundreds of men down here betting on the fights going on in the center of the room.

y/n had no idea where to go, she didn’t even know what harry looked like. she was about to leave when a man approached her.

“are you lost?” he was a tall man that looked quite intimidating.

“i’m looking for harry styles? he hired me to be his nurse.” she swallowed and looked at the man nervously.

“ah i see harry told me to expect you. come with me.” with that he turned around and walked to the hallway. she was nervous, here she was following a strange man into a dark hallway.

they walked around the corner to a room that looked from the outside like an office. the man opened the door and beckoned her to enter. inside there was a man sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone.

“this is harry.” the man told her and left the room at that.

harry looked up from his phone to her. y/n stood next to the door awkwardly, unsure of what to do. his eyes scanned her carefully.

“are you y/n?” he watched her every move like a predator. y/n was terrified to say the least.

“yes.” she nodded.

“hm. okay i’m going out to the ring now. i need you to go out there and watch me so you’re there if i get hurt.” with that he stood up and exited the room leaving y/n shocked.

she hadn’t expected this. he was… hot.

harry had the most gorgeous green eyes he had ever seen and the thickest brown curls. he was incredibly built and had tattoos peaking out from underneath his shirt. she was scared of him but couldn’t help but check him out as he exited the room.

y/n was guided out to stand by the ring. on her way there men yelled and catcalled at her. it was an uncomfortable situation to say the least.

up on the platform there stood a man that was tall but he didn’t look as big as harry. he was pumping up the crowd and yelling taunts at him. harry seemed unbothered by it. he simply took off his shirt and got onto the stage along side the arrogant man.

the announcer stepped up to the platform and introduced the two men before allowing them to start the fight.

instantly they began. the other man swung at harry but he dodged it easily and returned the blow to his face.

the man was knocked to the ground and harry was able to get on top of him. he continued to pound the man’s face a couple more times before he was pushed off.

it was disgusting to see a fight like this. y/n had never seen anything quite this violent. usually, fights were just a couple punches and a jump in the air and then it was over, but this was grueling.

the fight continued for about fifteen minutes before harry really started to go off. he kicked the man in the knee which efficiently made him stumble to the side so harry could corner him.

harry only had a couple marks on his face along with a busted eye, but he was still fine enough to continue fighting. the other man however, looked delirious. he was stumbling around from how many times harry had hit his head and everyone knew he would go down soon.

the fight was finally ended when harry got one final uppercut on the man. he was instantly knocked out and crashed to the floor.

the crowd erupted in cheers. everyone that had bet on harry was making good money tonight. all that could be heard was the ‘harry harry harry!’ chants.

she watched him grab a towel and wipe his face. he looked around the crowd until his eyes found hers. harry smirked at her before jumping down from the platform. everyone was crowding him and patting him on the back as he walked through the crowd.

harry motioned at y/n to follow him. she obliged and followed harry through the crowd. people continued to scream cheers at him as they made their way back to his office.

he sat down on the couch as a few more people entered into the room as well. they handed him a water and another towel to wipe the sweat off. y/n walked over to him and waited until the other people had settled down to start tending to him.

harry noticed her presence still there and said, “well, come fix me up.” he had a smug look on his face as he watched her walk over and sit next to him with her bag. the other people in the room, probably his friends, continued to talk around them.

she noticed the large cuts on his knuckles and decided to start with that before tending to his face.

“it might sting when i clean the cuts.” she said shyly to harry. it was hard to talk to such an intimidating person like this.

“i like the pain sweetheart.” he smirked at her. y/n blushed lightly and applied light pressure to stop the bleeding. harry was right, he didn’t flinch once.

after she finished with his hands she moved onto his face. his friends got up and left around the same time. which left them in a room alone together.

she couldn’t help that her heart rate and nervousness were increasing when they were alone. he didn’t say anything though just leaned back and let her wipe the blood off.

“don’t have to be nervous love, i’m not doing anything.” he smugly looked at the ceiling.

“i’m not.” she lied and continued to put pressure on his cheek where was bleeding a little.

“can practically feel your heart pounding sweetheart.” he laughed a little. y/n’s blush grew as she tried not to make eye contact with him. “why are you so uptight?” he asked her casually.

“just because i’m doing a new thing i guess.” she lied. the real reason she was so nervous was because a hot guy was sitting shirtless next to her and she was trying to get worked up.

harry hummed in response. “you sure it’s not cause’ you’re horny?” he gave her a smug look and y/n’s eyes widened.

“no of course not.” she scooted away a little and tried to hide the growing blush on her neck.

“hm i don’t believe you.” he sat up and put her bag on the ground. y/n was finished anyway so she wanted to leave quickly. “i bet if i checked in your pants right now you’d be all wet.”

y/n was shocked at the abrupt and crude language he used. she didn’t often sleep around so she wasn’t used to somebody talking to her like this. y/n tried to respond to him but she was too stunned to.

“when’s the last time you were fucked love?” he leaned over to be closer to her. y/n was paralyzed she didn’t know whether to run for the hills or tackle him.

“um i don’t know.” her breath was shaky. he was close to her and she could see the outline of his him in his shorts. i guess he was right about liking the pain.

“i could make you feel so good sweetheart.” he leaned forward and whispered into her ear. “will you let me?”

y/n was absolutely stunned. should she let him? “i don’t kno-”

she was cutoff by harry pressing a kiss to her lips. her eyes widened as his soft lips pressed against hers. “is this okay love?”

y/n hesitated for a second before nodding timidly. he smirked and kissed her again hard. she was shocked at how gentle he was being until harry started picking up the pace.

he grabbed her hips and pulled her into his lap. she was blushing brightly at the new position. underneath her y/n could feel his hard cock pressing against her core. she couldn’t help the light sigh that left her mouth at the pressure against her.

“feel how hard you made me sweetheart? was watching your pretty little face the whole time i was up there.” he put a hand around the back of her neck and kissed her hard again.

y/n finally gave in and wrapped her hands into his hair. she had been dying to run her fingers through his curls all night.

“can i taste you baby?” he rubbed his hands across her hips and leaned forward to press kisses along her neck. y/n nodded and continued to run her hands through his hair. “need to hear your pretty voice beg for it baby.”

y/n was embarrassed but also horny so she did it. “please harry.”

“mm that wasn’t very good was it?” he smirked and ran his hands up her waist to rub her sides. “you can do better.”

“please harry i need it.” she was growing needier by the second with the way he was teasing his hands along her sides.

“what do you need baby?” harry asked her. y/n whimpered a bit but obliged.

“need you to taste me harry please.” she looked bashfully at him.

“there we go sweetheart.” he looked smug as he flipped them around so she was on her back. y/n was nervous but quickly shook that off when he grabbed her leggings and pealed them down.

harry threw them to the side and grabbed her thighs, pulling them apart. he smiled brightly and pressed a kiss to her clothed pussy. y/n whimpered at the feeling of his soft lips through her panties.

he nudged his nose against her clit and pulled her underwear down quickly. y/n closed her legs a little at the feeling of his strong gaze inspecting her, but harry snatched her thighs and pushed them open wide.

“don’t hide your pretty little cunt from me baby.” he growled and pressed a kiss to her clit. y/n clenched hard around nothing at that and whimpered out. he smiled and licked her. his tongue danced across her folds. y/n tried to hold in her whimpers and moans but harry wasn’t having it.

“let me hear you sweetheart.” he pushed his tongue into her and nudged his nose against her clit at the same time. y/n instantly let out a moan. his tongue felt so good in her and she had to grasp his hair for support.

harry moaned out at the feeling of his hair being tugged and buried his face into her farther.

he continued fucking her with his tongue for a minute before bringing his hand from her thighs to her cunt. harry pressed his middle finger in and smiled at the way she was writhing on her back.

y/n could feel his cold gold rings against her as he fucked her with his finger. even though it had only been a few minutes, she could feel her orgasm quickly approaching. harry pressed his lips to her bundle of nerves again and sucked hard.

she groaned out and pulled his hair to bring him close to her. everything was so overstimulating. y/n had a hot guy fucking her with his fingers and she was in a sketchy underground bar. what the fuck was she doing with her life?

the thoughts quickly vanished as he pushed another finger into her sopping folds. he quickened his pace for a minute as she approached her orgasm.

“gonna cum sweetheart?” he smirked before attacking her clit with his mouth again.

“yes please harry.” she whimpered out and screwed her eyes shut. y/n didn’t know whether to push his head away or pull it closer as the overstimulating pleasure overcame her. “fuck!”

she finally came as harry found her g-spot and rubbed it harshly. her legs were practically shaking as she came on harry’s face. he helped her through her high by kitten licking her clit gently.

“next fight i’m gonna fuck you.” he smiled and grabbed his stuff before leaving the room.

what the fuck?

#harry styles #harry styles smut #one direction #dom harry styles #sub!harry #wattpad #harry edward styles #smut #fanfiction #hs #hsmut #x0xomady

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mixedstyles · 2 years

Text

As Long as You Are Part 5

ALaYA Masterlist | Main Masterlist | send me things!

Author's Note: Hi! The social media blurb that goes with Part 4/5 very much goes with them. You'll notice connections between comments/photos and what goes on in this part! thank you to @stellarossii (and one of my irl friends who thought I needed translations for a book) who made sure the Italian was correct. this is less of a chapter and more of a long winded headcanon!!! Please keep that in mind

Pronouns Used: She/Her (use of y/n)

POV: Third Person.

Warnings: fluff. like so much fluff. swearing, mentions of anxiety, depersonalization, time skips/writing is all over the place. This has not been proofread for mistakes

Word Count: 5770 🤪

THIS Instagram blurb goes with this chapter! :)

Harry x musician!reader: Late Night Talking

It’s safe to say Y/N did not wake up refreshed and ready to start the day, because after she collapsed in her bed she was only able to get a couple good hours of sleep. The rest of the night consisted of her tossing and turning, thinking about the day ahead of her. Which was meeting up with Harry and Mitch. Officially. Auden was going to be there but Y/N was unsure if she would randomly disappear again which made her nervous. But part of her was also happy at the idea of hanging out with Harry.

Y/N had two options: go to the studio and be anxious there or she could stay at her apartment and be anxious in the comfort of her own home. The latter sounded the best to her. So she climbed back into bed and set a timer for 3:30 P.M. which was when she actually had to get up and get ready.

━━━━

Direct message: harrystyles

Hey! Thank you for letting us drop in on you like thatI do apologize if it wasn’t a great time to do so Honestly I was planning on just leaving and letting you know after But right when I sent the “nice show” message Auden came and grabbed us

good morning or i guess afternoon now i will be honest with you, it wasn’t the ~best~ time BUT i am really happy i got to meet you. and mitch

He wouldn’t stop talking about your guitar and overall talent I think you have a new fan And I’m really happy I got to meet you too In person You still on for later tonight?

yep! i’m just chilling right now don’t even know what i’m going to do in the studio today so… it’ll probably be boring just a heads up

I’m the one who wanted to chill at the studio with you so don’t stress I am also amazing at bugging people so I’ll keep you on your toes This sweatshirt is really comfy by the way Might have to steal the brand for my merch

i still can’t believe that you bought my merch like will THE harry styles be walking around with my sweatshirt?

I already have And I’m pretty sure there will be proof because I saw some people taking pictures outside of the gym

you’re taking a mini two day break AND YOU GO TO THE GYM??? not to be a bitch but that is NOT icon behavior that’s psycho behavior (affectionate)

I don’t know what any of that meant I’m not well versed in the social media culture

oh my goodness. “the social media culture” YOU’RE ONLY THREE YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND YOU TALK LIKE A GRANDPA am i about to give you a lesson on social media. so you can actually be cultured?

Please do. I’ll be taking notes

when someone says something that would typically be associated with negative connotations but uses affectionate in parentheses, it’s more of a compliment than an insult. or it can be used in the sense of like “but it’s still okay” i said “that’s psycho behavior (affectionate)” meaning that although you GO TO THE GYM FOR FUN, i still respect you.

So essentially you’re saying “no offense”

uhhh yeah, i guess so? But it can be used as a compliment: one man’s trash (derogatory), is another man’s trash (affectionate)

Ugh, this is why I’m never on social media. You guys give me headaches

harry, honey, whether you like it or not, you’re a social media presence

Is “honey” affectionate or derogatory in this context?

OH MY GOSH I’M DONE WITH YOU (it was used affectionately)

━━━━

Y/N was so accustomed to calling Auden “honey” that she hadn’t realized she said it to Harry until it was too late. Should I say sorry? Is he uncomfortable? What if he thinks I’m trying to hit on him? His response didn’t indicate that I had. But we won’t allow for “possibly”.

━━━━

okay i just need to make sure that you know i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything with the honey comment. auden and i call each other that all the time

No, no, no You didn’t make me uncomfortable at all!I thought it was kind of sweet Although I’m offended because I thought I got a cute little name but it turns out you also call Auden honey 🙄

oh my gosh! you used an emoji!! harry styles used an emoji!! Although I’m offended because I thought I got a cute little name but it turns out you also call Auden honey 🙄 ↳ STOP ARE YOU SERIOUS

Yeah, why not? I’ve got Y/N merch, doesn’t that come with a nickname too?

for you? sure but i’m drawing a blank you’ve put me on the spot i can call you chouchou. mon petite chouchou. sweetheart. literally means "my little cabbage". “MES CHOUX!” “MY CABBAGES”

Okay, I kind of dig it But I do not understand that reference? My cabbages?

because of that i’m just gonna call you chou now. cabbage YOU’VE NEVER SEEN AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER???? (animated show)

Oh! The anime? Yeah, I saw like the first season but never got farther than that

Oh! The anime? ↳ oof you say that in front of certain people and they’ll throw you off of a bridge there have been discussions over whether it’s an anime or not since it aired. in like… 2005 but you need to finish it. we should watch it!! or at least i’ll force you to watch it while i’m working in the studio

Thank you for the warning because I’d rather not be thrown off a bridge I'd love to watch AvatarStart a little studio watch party?

stop i'd love that can we please?

I mean... I am the one who suggested it

okay okay okay i have to get ready now, i shall see you shortly

━━━━

Y/N threw her phone on the bed and began to run around her apartment putting on random clothes that she knew she’d be comfortable in because she was running late. She’d like to say she didn’t realize how much time she spent talking to Harry, but she did realize. In fact, she had ignored her alarm more than once and was suffering the consequences.

She sent a text to Auden making sure that she was going to be there and wasn’t going to leave her alone with Harry and Mitch again. Auden promised Y/N that leaving her alone was not her intention. Though the following message was sent with a little winky face, which could have meant multiple things. But Y/N knew Auden. She knew Auden well. Well enough to know that it was a false promise and that she had intended to leave her alone with Harry. Auden did mention this time that she couldn’t stay into the night because she had other summer classes the next day “unlike some people”.

The subway ride to the village didn’t normally feel like a long time, but that time it did. Y/N knew the only reason that everything was taking longer was because she was in a rush. She glanced at the time on her phone, worried that Harry was going to be locked outside before she could get there.

Which was exactly what happened.

Sprinting as fast as she could down the street, Y/N’s book bag would bounce against her back with every stride, arms were flailing, wind was aggressively smacking her in the face, and her breathing was ragged. But she got there. Even if it was a bit later than intended.

“Hi… I’m… sorry… for… oh boy.” She was trying to get the words out between gasps. “Oh gosh. Thanks, ugh, thanks for waiting.” Y/N rested her hands against her knees in an attempt to slow down her heart rate.

“Geeze, what were you doing? Running all the way from your apartment?”

“No,” she said offended, “I sprinted down the sidewalk. Sorry I don’t go to the gym on my free days.” Y/N joked, moving closer to Harry, nudging his arm with hers. Which earned her a small smile. “Okay, let’s get this show on the road.”

“Wow, and just like that, she’s alive again."

“Okay this show is pretty damn good.”

“I can’t believe you’ve only ever seen the first two episodes!”

Auden had arrived around an hour after Y/N and Harry got in, and easily made herself comfortable in the small studio space, chilling next to Harry while Y/N was over at the workstation. Once Y/N had mentioned Harry hadn’t seen most of Avatar, Auden had immediately taken out her laptop and started from the very beginning of the show. Making sure Harry was watching, adding in random anecdotes throughout.

“Did you know that the voice actor for Aang was also Pablo from The Backyardigans?” Which Harry didn’t know, and also didn’t know what or who The Backyardigans were. Which made him lose a considerable amount of “coolness points” according to Auden.

“I told him that he’s the cabbage man. My lil homme chou.”

“Your little homme chou?” Auden asked, a huge smirk on her face. Luckily Harry wasn’t paying attention at that point, he was too focused on “emo boy”. The name he had given Zuko.

“A homme chou.”

“Hmm… I think Harry’s more of a Sokka?”

“Sokka’s pretty cool.” Harry chimed in after hearing his name.

“Right? You’re Sokka and Y/N can be Suki!”

“Auden…” Y/N warned her friend not to go any further.

“Who’s Suki?” Harry asked.

“You’ll actually get there pretty soon. I think she makes an appearance in the first season.”

“Oh cool! I’m excited.”

Mitch was unfortunately unable to attend the little studio hangout as Sarah needed help with their baby. Something Y/N didn’t want to get in the way of. "Family comes first" was the message she had told Harry to pass along to them, which he gladly did.

“Harry, it’s been great, but I do lowkey have to go. Which means I do have to take my laptop back.” Auden stood up, cracking her back in the process before leaning in to close the Netflix tab and shutting down her laptop.

“Do I not get a say in this?” Harry asked.

“What? Get a say in me leaving or you no longer having a screen to watch Avatar on?”

“... Avatar.”

“Goodness. Do you not have your own Netflix account or something? You’re rich enough to have thousands of Netflix accounts, don’t try mooching off of me.” Auden argued back in a joking way. “Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow, good luck working on… whatever you’ve been working on while Harry and I have been watching Avatar.” Auden walked the short distance to her friend before leaning over Y/N’s shoulder, looking at what she had been working on. “Wait,” Auden whispered, “is this the song you’ve been working on?” Y/N doesn’t do anything other than nod and continue to jot down lyrics in her notebook and move things around on her computer screen.

“I think I’m almost done with it, but I’m not really sure of the specifics. Like the instruments and closing. I think I want strings and piano and that’s it.” Y/N makes a few more marks in her notebook before fully turning her attention to Auden. “You said you were leaving?”

“Yeah, it’s getting a little late for me.”

“Okie, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Y/N stood up to give her a hug goodbye, adding an “I love you.” before Auden disappeared out the door.

“So, is it bother Y/N o’clock?” Y/N spun around in her chair and looked over to the couch Harry was stretched out on.

“Mmm not yet, I’m in the groove and I think there’s something I want to run by you in a little bit. So you continue to watch Avatar and I’m gonna try to finish this up. Sound good?”

Harry beamed and said, “Sounds wonderful.” and pulled out his phone to start watching the show.

━━━━

Around 30 minutes in, Y/N stopped because her phone kept going off due to Instagram notifications. Though she had a fanbase, Y/N was rarely ever tagged in anything, so the fact that there were multiple notifications one after the other coming in was a confusing sight. So she opened the app and looked at what was causing all of the fuss. It turned out to be the guy next to her. Not Harry himself sending her messages, but she was being tagged in photos of him in New York, at her concert, most not even of her.

She also noticed her follower account went up by a couple thousand. Which a month ago would have been exciting, but now it just made her anxious thinking that people were following her because she had some sort of connection to Harry Styles. She looked at the recent followers, a lot being Harry fan accounts.

“Do you think people are gonna be upset?”

“Hmmm?” Harry mumbled before looking away from the video on his phone and toward Y/N.

“Do you think people are gonna be upset? That like, you’re hanging out with me?” she clarified.

“I asked to visit, I decided to come, if anything happens it’s my fault.” He answered, as if it was common knowledge.

“Everyone is either talking about or asking how we know each other. I’m not sure what the deal is.” Y/N held up her phone and pointed to one of the photos she was tagged in. A photo of Harry, not her.

He laughed a little and smirked before saying, “You’re not used to this sort of publicity, are you?”

“Harry, I literally write music from my single bedroom apartment. The most media attention I’ve gotten is when a sample I posted on TikTok went viral. So no, I am most definitely not used to this sort of attention.”

“That’s valid, but let them talk. Just tell me if they start hounding you though, I don’t want that happening. Okay?” Y/N nodded and smiled, a smile which Harry returned. “So… should we stop goofing around now? I wanted to ask you about that song you showed me earlier.”

The last time Y/N checked the clock on her phone it read: 9:47 P.M. which was right when they started to work on the song. However the next thing she knew it was past midnight.

“Holy shit. Harry, it’s fucking 1 A.M.”

“Wait what?”

“It’s 1 A.M.” she repeated.

“We really got in the groove didn’t we.” Which was less of a question and more of a statement as it was very clear they did ‘get in the groove‘. “Are there any 24/7 food locations near here?” Harry questioned, standing from his chair and stretching in the process. “I haven’t eaten anything in a while.”

“It’s New York City, of course there are 24/7 diners. But, I can take you to one of the best 24/7 bodegas close to here. Plus, I haven’t seen Tony in a hot minute.”

“Tony?”

“I’ll tell you on the way there. Do you have cash with you?”

“What? No, why?” Harry asked, confused at her sudden excitement.

“Geeze,” Y/N said, rolling her eyes before getting out her wallet and smacking a $5 bill into his chest. “I thought famous rich people always carried around wads of cash with them” Y/N’s hand was still holding the money to Harry’s chest, waiting for him to take it. Which he didn’t. “Harry, take the money, there’s a card minimum at most bodegas, you’ll need cash.” she explained.

“Hmph,” he grumbled, taking the money from her hand.

“Thank you, now let’s go.” she said, dragging him by the sleeve out of the studio.

On the way over, Y/N explained that the bodega they were going to was called Colucci’s Deli and Grocery, but the “locals” (mostly students) just called it Tony’s. Antonio Colucci, Y/N described, was an old time worn Italian immigrant who was always making jokes and chatting with anyone, and everyone, who walked through the doors. He had unofficially become the grandfather to the NYU students who passed by, making sure they were okay, asking them about their classes, about their life, about their families. ��It might seem funny, okay? But he truly cares about us”. She explained further that he let his favorites (making it clear that she was one of them) have packages delivered to the store for safekeeping, and even knew what frequent customers got to eat. And before he cou deven ask any question they were already at the store. Y/N quickly walked ahead of Harry and opened the door which let out a faint ring as she stepped through the threshold.

“Tony?” Y/N shouted immediately, as if barging into a bodega at 1 A.M. was a common occurrence for her.

“Y/N, stop, people are going to–” and before Harry could even finish his sentence, a deep Italian accented voice replied to her yell.

“Is that my Y/N L/N?” from the back room stepped a man exactly like Y/N described. He was on the shorter side with deeply tanned skin, a small grey mustache above his lip, and matching grey hair on his head. He was wearing an apron that Harry assumed was once white but was now covered in a smattering of different colored stains.

Tony moved out from behind the counter, shuffling as quickly as his old age could carry him before stopping in front of Y/N. He rested his hands on her shoulders and smiled as if he really was her grandfather. One who hadn’t seen his granddaughter in far too long. The creases at the corners of his eyes became more prominent, making it clear that his happiness was indeed genuine.

“Le cose belle arrivano quando non le cerchi,” —the beautiful things that come when you don’t look for them— “and I was not looking. Because she came through that door and I didn’t even see.” Tony said, glancing at Harry, then to Y/N, then back at Harry, smiling like he knew something they didn’t. But Y/N knew what he was implying.

“Basta, basta” —stop, stop— “about both things, Tony.” Y/N laughed. “You’re too kind to me. And we’re not together. This is Harry, he’s just a friend who was nice enough to visit me.” she patted Harry on his arm.

“Vedremo…” —we’ll see— Antonio looked at Harry once more before turning his attention back to Y/N. “So, why are you here so late? More music?”

“Isn’t it always? We got a little carried away and didn’t realize the time. We’re here for some food and then we’ll get out of your hair.” Y/N smiled at the old man who waved his hands frantically as if she had said something ridiculous.

“No, no, no. You never bother. Mi piace vederti,” —I enjoy seeing you— Tony leaned closer to Y/N and whispered, “don’t tell anyone, but you’re my favorite. La mia bellissima nipote.” —my beautiful granddaughter— a wide smile covered Y/N’s face and she looked back at Harry as if to say “I told you so”.

And she was right. Not that Harry would have said it to her face, but he initially thought that she was exaggerating how much Tony cared for those who passed through his store. But from the time Harry spent in Italy he understood what was being said, and there was no doubt in his mind that Tony saw Y/N as a granddaughter.

When she turned back to continue talking to Tony, Harry realized that he hadn’t witnessed an interaction like that in far too long. At least one he was lucky to be a part of. And it made him so glad he stayed a couple extra days.

The casualness of everything Y/N did, the subtle comfort in her demeanor that made everyone enjoy her presence, and the fact that she was straight-up kind. Y/N didn’t say anything more than his name to Tony, she didn’t post about him, she didn’t ask for anything. She was normal and she was nice and she was something Harry didn’t realize he was longing for until it was right there, she was right there. Harry didn’t know what kind of longing it was, whether platonic or something more, it didn’t matter. What he did know was he did not want to lose whatever kind of relationship was being built there, in that moment, in that bodega with the small Italian grandpa and the girl who shoved a five dollar bill into Harry’s chest.

“Harry?” a small voice pulled him away from his thoughts.

“Hmm?” he looked over to where Y/N stood, she had moved over to the counter which Tony was then behind.

“I already ordered mine, what would you like?” Harry drifted closer to Y/N, and took a peek at the sandwich in her hand.

“Whatever you’re having looks good.”

Y/N nodded and smiled before saying, “He’ll have The Classic!”

After Tony finished making their sandwiches and said their goodbyes, Harry noticed that there were a few other late-night shoppers in the store with them; something he hadn’t noticed before as he was too entertained by the interactions between Y/N and Tony.

“So,” Harry started, “you speak Italian?”

“Mmm… sure, we’ll say I do.”

Harry chuckled, “that’s kind of cryptic.”

“Well maybe it’s so you’ll never know how much Italian I understand. You speak Italian right? Like you were there for a while?” Harry nodded in response. “Maybe I’m not telling you how much I understand so if you think I know less than I actually do and you shit-talk me to someone in Italian, I’ll know what you said.” After she finished her dramatics, Y/N turned to Harry, walking backwards to face him and smirked.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And yet,” she said, “you’re here with me.”

And frankly, Harry didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Should we do this again tomorrow?” Harry asked, as if they didn’t have plans to do the same thing again.

“I like the sound of that.” Y/N said, going along with the joke.

“Do you want me to walk you back?” Harry asked and Y/N’s heart melted.

“I’ll be okay, it’s a subway ride away and then you’d have to go back to wherever you’re staying. I don’t want to do that to you.”

“Well I have a car picking me up—”

“Oh he’s Mr. Fancy,” Y/N cut in and Harry glared at her before smiling.

“As I was saying, there’s a car picking me up to bring me back to the hotel we’re staying at. I’m more than happy to bring you back to your apartment. I just want to make sure you arrive safely.”

“Are you insisting?” she asked.

“If I insist, is that the only way that you’re going to go?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then yes, I am insisting you let me take you back home.” as much as Harry wanted to stay up with Y/N, he knew they both needed sleep and he’d see her again anyway. He wouldn’t say it, because he didn’t want to seem creepy, but he wanted to spend as much time getting to know her in person as he could. He’d be away for a while and the only time he knew he would be back in New York wasn’t for a while.

“Then let’s go, homme chou.”

That night Y/N went to bed with a huge smile on her face, and nothing was able to wipe it away.

The night passed quickly, too quickly for Y/N’s liking, but it meant that it was Monday. And Monday meant teaching, and on this particular Monday it also meant hanging out with Harry again.

Teaching went by quickly and smoothly, although this time Auden would look at Y/N and wiggle her eyebrows and point to her phone. Which was Auden clearly trying to distract Y/N with the fact they were seeing Harry two days in a row.

━━━━

Direct Message: harrystyles

Hey, I'm stopping by one of those cold pressed juice places. Did you or Auden want anything?

i'll take one whatever you're having :) auden said "as much as I’d love for Harry Styles to hand deliver a drink to me, a cold pressed green drink is not one that I want” so that sounds like a no from her is mitch coming this time?

Wow, there really is no love for me is there? I text you to see if you want a drink and all I get back is "Is MItcH CoMiNG?" Really feeling the love Y/N And no he's not, the baby is sick

did you just do the spongebob mocking meme at me??? noooo not the little jones-rowland baby

So what if I did?

you didn't know (affectionate) but you know that spongebob meme? who ARE you? and what did you do to the cabbage man?

I looked up memes when I got back to the hotel, okay?? Most of the articles were like "memes your kids are probably referencing" and "how to keep up with gen-z references"

STOP THAT IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I'VE EVER READ "Breaking News: Harry Styles Does Research on Gen-Z Memes" "i'm sorry but the old harry can't come to the phone right now. why? oh, 'cause he's dead" I CAN'T stop this is amazing

Are you judging me??? I will spit in your green drink

ew ew ew okay never mind proud of you for doing your "history of memes" homework does this mean i can stop explaining viral videos and trends to you? old man.

... ...

harry? wow, he's so old he might have just collapsed and passed away on the sidewalk

So impatient Goodness old man. ↳ I am only three years older than you. If I'm old you're also old I'm here by the way You have two minutes to get down here before I actually spit in your drink

🏃🏻‍♀️💨

━━━━

Even though Auden said she didn't want a green drink she continued asking for a sip of Y/N's until she caved just so her friend would shut up. If Y/N had to explain how Auden's taste test went, she'd just open YouTube and search Brittany Broski's kombucha reaction. Because that was exactly how Auden reacted to the juice. And then she collected all of her things and ran off to the bathroom, texting Y/N to tell Harry she had to go meet up with some classmates for a project. And to NOT mention that the green drink didn’t sit well with her.

It had been around 15 minutes since Auden left and Y/N was silent, the green drink long finished and as was her ability to focus on the song in front of her. She was moving the dials up and down on the workstation absentmindedly, too focused on thinking about how much her life had changed in so little time.

Y/N was silent once again, she moved the dials up and down on the workstation, not paying attention to what she was doing, “Do you ever feel that like, you’re not really there?” she asked.

Harry’s soft strumming of Y/N’s guitar suddenly stopped and a voice cut through the momentary silence, “What do you mean?”

“Like, you’re living your life, right? But you’re also barely there?”

“Explain.”

“No, sorry. I don’t want to get all personal or anything, that’s not what you came here for. So, what I like to do for the melody is add in—”

“No,” he cut off, “I’m interested in what you were saying.”

“You sure?

“Of course, go on.”

“Okay… So like, sometimes it happens on stage, where you’re just not really knowing what’s happening. And the only reason you’re able to finish a show is because it’s become muscle memory? Or there are conversations you can’t remember, because… when you were having them, your mind was, I guess, just trying to make it to the next sentence. Just trying to carry on without anyone noticing how you’re attempting to pull off “fine”. And maybe it’s believable, but if it’s not… I guess it’s more fun for people to ignore it. I guess you’re more enjoyable when you laugh a lot. Even if it’s not real.”

“Woah…”

“Ugh, I’m so sorry,” Y/N put her hands out in front of her and waved them, like doing so could rewind time and take back the last minute. “I was just starting to feel that way. And sometimes, I guess, it helps to talk about it?” Harry sat there, listening, not wanting to interrupt her rambling, “Normally I talk to Auden, but she’s not here and I didn’t want to seem rude to just step out and call her. This whole experience is just so… it’s so weird to me. You’re this incredibly famous musician, and I can’t believe you’re here. Like, in front of me. A literal… arms length away.” Y/N finished. She sunk into her chair and spun away from him, hands covering her face.

“Thank you.” Harry responded. He moved closer and stretched his arms towards Y/N. He then took the side of her chair and rotated it so she’s facing him again.

Opening her hands to peek through Y/N asked, “What?”

“Thank you for sharing that. I’m not sure I totally understand what that feels like, but some of it I could definitely relate to.”

“Oh…”

“If we’re getting personal, thank you for treating me like a regular person. I know that might be cliché, but sometimes it’s hard to meet new people who actually talk to you like you’re a friend or someone new they were just introduced to. There’s none of that awkwardness… of them feeling they have to put on a façade in order to seem “cooler” or as if they’re trying to get on your good side.

“Like, I’m just some random guy who got famous, sometimes I’m not even sure I deserve it. It’s hard sometimes, being able to like, connect with others. I dunno if they’re going to go tell my secrets if I get close to them or just use me. Which I know is kind of shitty to think. I dunno…” he trailed off.

“Is it my turn to say thank you now? Are we in a group therapy session?”

“Oh shut up,” he laughed, “you’re the one who started it.”

“I’m just saying!” she threw her hands in the air signaling her surrender. Y/N leaned back in her chair, and spoke again, “But I actually mean it, thank you for sharing. Also, that wasn’t very kind to yourself Mr ‘you deserve the space you’ve created in this industry’ was it?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, looking at Harry in mock irritation.

“You can’t use my words against me!”

“Says who? The referees of rebuttals?”

“I dunno… I’m sure there’s an instruction manual somewhere that talks about arguments between friends.” Harry said, pulling out his phone to see if there was such a thing.

“Wait… are we friends?” Y/N sat up straighter in her chair, a huge smile taking over her face.

Harry turned his attention to the girl in front of him before he spoke, “I thought that was clear when I continued to talk to you for the past like, two weeks and then followed you to a random 24/7 bodega at 1 A.M.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” She asked incredulously, voice raising. “You never said anything!”

“Well I just assumed!” He said laughing, his voice level matching hers. “Do you normally take people who aren’t your friends to random-ass bodegas?”

“Well… no, but—”

“See!” Harry pointed out.

“And Tony’s is not a random-ass bodega,” she shouted.

“Oh my goodness.” Harry couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of everything. “I’m kind of sad that I have to leave.” Harry finally admitted out loud.

“Really?” Y/N’s heart rate began to pick up.

“Yeah, I’ve had a wonderful time. This has truly been entertaining and an overall great experience. I’ll have to bug you whenever I’m back in New York.” Harry looked at Y/N. Actually looked at her this time. Taking in her features, her eye color, the way her hair was styled and the other minute details that made her, her.

“Well, you can bother me whenever. You don’t have to limit your presence to just NYC.” Her heart rate wasn’t slowing down, if anything it was speeding up.

He was right there. So close. His hand was still near the arm rest and if she spun her chair just a bit more to the right her knee would bump into his. But she didn’t want to move, she wasn’t sure what she was feeling or if he was thinking the same things. Frankly, she wasn’t sure what she was thinking. Was she starting to have feelings for him? No, that couldn’t be. She was herself and he was Harry. And even if he did feel whatever she was feeling, he was going back to the UK and would be there for a while. They would only have a phone to connect them.

“Hey?” Y/N’s vision came back into focus and she noticed she was looking past him at the wall instead. “You okay?” all she did was nod, which was apparently unconvincing as he asked a follow up question, “What’s going through your head?”

“I dunno,” Y/N deflated and put her face in her hands, steadying her elbows on her knees. “This whole thing has been so weird. You’re going back to the UK and I feel, I guess, guilty for wanting you to stay longer?” a hand rested against her back, gently pulling her forward until her forehead rested on Harry’s chest, his hand carefully making comforting circular motions as if to say “it’s okay”.

Harry rested his head against the top of hers, mumbling, “I wish I could stay longer too. But when I come back we’ll record that song, okay?” just loud enough for her to hear it.

“Okay.”

“Do you want me to drive you back to your apartment again?”

“Can we just stay like this for a moment? I think I’m too comfortable to get out of this position.” A laugh reverberated through Harry’s chest, which was an answer in and of itself.

━━━━

If you got this far, that last conversation was HEAVILY inspired by GIA Margaret’s song ‘barely there’. I took her lyrics and mixed them in with that conversation which will make sense later down the line. I am not claiming that as my own.

tag list: @theekyliepage @tati813 @reveriehs @thomaslefteyebrow @mxltifxnd0m (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!)

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