if the predator birds gave me ideas u can imagine how inspired i feel after going down into the underground labyrinth/bunker/cave/18th century prison

First Encounters

Day One of February Memory  @maribat-2k20 Haly’s Circus was the greatest thing Marinette had ever experienced in her six year old life. Her maman and papa had decided to take her while nonna was visiting, having sung praises of the circus and that she knew a few of the performers.

Marinette was young but she knew Gina Dupain could not be tied to one place for so long, it made sense that she had taken to meeting so many people. Marinette hoped to be like her one day; carefree, adventurous, brave and kind.

As the lights dimmed down she could feel the anticipation of the room build up; she thought she saw Nino, Kim and Chloe in the crowd but it was too dark to really tell.  She could always just ask on Monday.

Soon the ringmaster, Haly, came out with the ever used “Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Welcome to Haly’s Traveling Circus”

It was so colorful and captivating, the little girl almost felt like the show was catered for her, easily going above and beyond to almost unthinkable feats.

From strongmen to animal tamers to body contortionists. All of it was amazing!

The clowns were funny and colorful; the acrobats graceful and flawless; the strongmen looking like they put no effort; the animal tamers never using the whip as they just guided the tigers through tricks; knife throwers never missing a beat; contortionists looking effortless and comfortable. A parade of the animals came out and Marinette was a true goner.

The elephants were beginning to leave the arena, clowns and acrobats still doing tricks on their backs, when a drumroll began, lights dimming again, spotlights flying all over the place as Haly’s voice boomed.

“Ladies and Gents, feast your eyes on Haly’s own pride and joy; The Flying Graysons!”

In a split second the spotlights pointed at two different stands high up in the tent, had they always been so high up? As two men, one on each side, began to throw themselves onto the middle, she felt her stomach sink looking lower; there was no safety net.

Marinette subconsciously began to play with her lucky charm, a string bracelet she made one day after school and concentrated her wishes in.

The little girl never took her eyes off of the Flying Graysons; the two men performing life defying flips as they swung onto the different poles. Suddenly two women joined the mix, grabbing onto the men as they flew. Marinette, even as a six year old, knew that they loved what they were doing and were good at it.

Out of nowhere, one of the women was being hung upside down by a man, reaching out for something. Then a boy joined them.

She could almost imagine him laughing, maybe he was, as he was thrown from adult to adult, all while doing flips and tricks between intervals.

Even from a distance she could tell he was not much older than she was, gripping her lucky charm tighter. 

Soon the boy was placed down onto one of the stands, waving at the crowd as they cheered.

“Now for the Flying Graysons’ signature move; the Quadruple Somersault!”

Everything seemed to move in slow motion, Marinette counting the rotations as best as she could. She didn’t notice the photo her nonna took as she stared intently.

As soon as it started, it was over, the Flying Graysons and the rest of the circus coming out for one last act and a bow.

“How’d you enjoy that my little Marinetta?” Marinette could barely stop herself from shouting in joy and jumping around as she began to babble on about the amazing feats of the circus. Her family only laughed along at her enthusiasm as they walked closer to the stands, though Marinette bumped into familiar faces as she did.

“Hey Nino, Kim” the petite girl had caught their attention as their parents were talking to one another. The two waved back at their friend from school, fangirling about the awesome performances they witnessed.

“I have a little surprise for my little Marinetta; I’m sure you’d like to show your friends as well” Marinette couldn’t help but enthusiastically nod as she dragged the two boys where her grandmother was guiding them, their parents trailing slowly behind. The trio noticed Chloe, arms crossed as both her parents seemed occupied with phone calls, promptly ignoring her, as she complained that she wanted to leave. 

She hadn’t known much about Chloe in the year that they’ve been classmates other than she could be a brat at times and was very bosy. They didn’t talk often since Chloe would rather play or give orders around the girls while Marinette didn’t mind getting dirty with the boys. She felt sad for the girl, giving her a small wave; Chloe looked surprised but huffed and gave a small wave back. Chloe wasn’t exactly her friend but she reasoned that the girl didn’t have many. Nino and Kim helped Marinette beacon Chloe closer, pointing at Gina, who had noticed that the kids had stopped and was now watching as they tried to convince the blonde to join them.

She looked skeptical before pulling at her parents’ pants, the two giving different looks, one of annoyance and the other of worry, before she pointed at the group of children. The two eyed one another for a moment before nodding and going back to whatever it was they were doing before.

Now the four children walked behind Gina like ducklings, each giggling and talking about their favorite parts; Kim liked the strongmen, Nino the clowns, Chloe admitted that the ringmaster was her favorite but agreed that Marinette’s choice of the Flying Graysons was acceptable as well. They had been so caught up with each other that they hadn’t realized they were now in the center of the ring until a familiar voice laughed before them.

“Well, if it isn’t the infallible Regina” the kids stood in awe as Haly, as in ringmaster Haly, gave a kiss on both cheeks to Marinette’s nonna.

“Oh that was so long ago Haly dear. I go by Gina or nonna these days” the older woman laughed as she got the kids to approach, “This is my granddaughter and her friends from school”

“Why aren’t you little things?” Haly gave a tip of his top hat, a slight curtsey as he greeted them “ Its always a pleasure entertaining family, say you look close to little Dickie’s age” the man then whistled, some of the workers, they realized were the performers that were beginning to prep for their next show later in the evening, turned around. “Where’s little Dickie?”

“Here!” they looked up to see the young boy from the Flying Graysons wave from the staircase that lead up to the balcony where he and the others would fly. “What’s up Haly?”

“Regina is that you?” the boy turned to see the four older Flying Graysons hug Gina as she returned it in earnest. “Oh look at you all, is that little Richard?”

One of the black haired men and a ginger woman nodded, the boy getting close to them, as they showed him off.

“Our little boy is certainly bigger since last time” the man, John Grayson, chuckled as his wife, Mary, sighed.

“Has it really been two years since you left already?”

“You know me; I can never stay in one place for so long”

“Wow so your grandmother is Regina?” the boy, Richard? Dick?, was looking at Marinette though the girl herself seemed confused.

“Y-Yes? I thought her name was Gina” she looked quizzically, wondering what exactly it was that her grandmother got into when she was exploring the world.

“That’s so cool! I remember her motorcycle routine; it was awesome” the boy exclaimed as the four Parisians re-evaluating the lady they knew as a doting grandmother who traveled a lot.

“Thanks…”

“I’m Richard John Grayson, though everyone just calls me Dick. What’s your name?”

“U-Uh I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng and these are my friends”

“Nino Lahiffe!” the boy seemed to want to bury himself alive given how loud he had unintentionally been.

“Le Chien Kim” the boy laughed, ecstatic because he wanted to see if they could sneak off to where the animals were kept.

“Chloe Bourgeois” the girl said with a flick of her pigtails, almost scoffing at the boy. She supposed he wasn’t awful given he managed to wow her mother when his family performed.

“Y-You’re family was amazing!” Marinette piped up, her face growing red even as her friends joined in afterwards giving their praises.

“Totally cool!”

“Not entirely boring”

“How does it feel?”

“Hmm” Dick hummed pensively before snapping his fingers playfully “ It’s like flying”

“Isn’t it scary?” Marinette shyly asked as she looked up “I was so nervous I kept holding my lucky charm” she pointed at a little handmade bracelet as to emphasize on her point.

“Sometimes but I remember that I’m a Grayson; we’re made to fly” the boy said with as much bravado and certainty as if he had said that the sky was blue.

“O-Oh” Marinette let on before taking off her charm and handing it to him with as much care as a six year old could “I’d feel better knowing you had a lucky charm too”

“Wow Mari you don’t let anyone touch your charm!” Kim exclaimed as the others nodded. She had once tackled a kid who tried taking it from her and moved when another tried grabbing the wrist where it was.

“It’s a great honor” Nino nodded sagely.

“Well then I’ll treasure it forever Mari” Dick laughed along, tying it with little struggle. 

As Gina watched the children she just knew it was the start of something special between the Flying Grayson and her little granddaughter.

Under Renovation |T.H.| - Chapter 4

Pairing: Tom Holland x Celeb!Reader

Warning: A whole bucket of angst in this one.. But is that really surprising at this point?

Word Count: 2727

A/N: Hi again! So, this chapter is kind of just the catalyst to what’s up next. Now, I need to know something! I know this is a Tom fic, but I need to know if you would be okay with not having him in a couple chapters. It will all make sense later in the series! I just need to know what you guys think. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated, and if you wanna be added to the taglist, just shoot me a message. Enjoy! <3

Series Masterlist

Chapter 4:

In all honesty, Mena isn’t exactly what you had expected. He is the exact same height as Tom, and his black curls are styled neatly, not a single piece falling into his dark brown eyes. His smile is almost blinding and there’s this weird energetic calm surrounding him. He reminds you a little of watching fireworks as a kid with ear plugs in; all the beauty and excitement but also all the safety and comfort. To say the least, your chemistry test goes amazingly well, and within minutes you’re sure the two of you will make great friends. 

“Here you go,” Mena hands you the cocktail you ordered, quickly sliding into the VIP booth. The round table is surrounded by your castmates. Ashley, who plays your best friend, Marcus who plays your fiance and Chrissy who plays your dancing competition along with some others. The moment you met them all you all just kinda clicked into a strangely familiar friendship. You’re sitting with Ashley on your right and Mena now on your left. 

The sound of some remix is buzzing loudly all throughout the exclusive club they all dragged you to, and you are buzzing from the drinks you’ve already had. 

“Uh! That blonde guy over there is totally checking you out! And he’s kind of cute!” Ashley yells beside you so she’s barely audible over the loud bass. You turn to look in the direction she’s pointing in, noticing a very handsome stranger standing at a table eyeing you while talking to his friends. 

“I’m not here to hook up with anyone,” you laugh bumping your shoulder into Ashley’s before taking a big sip of your way too strong cocktail.

“Mm, I’m not saying you should hook up with him. Just you know.. a little making out never hurt anybody.” She says and you can’t help but smile as she winks at a random guy on the dance floor. 

“If you’re not gonna go grind on some stranger, you can come dance with me!” Mena grabs your hand and drags you out of the booth, giving you only enough time to hand your clutch to Ashley before you’re swept away.

Before long you’re in the middle of the dancefloor, arms around Mena’s neck as you move your hips side to side.

“If were going to be dancing partners in this movie, you’re gonna have to bring some better moves than those.” He laughs and gently places his hands on your hips to guide you. You resist the urge to push his hands away, and instead embrace his touch, zoning back into your good old days of dancing.

“Ah, so you can dance,” he smirks at you and you can hear Ashley and Chrissy cheering you on from the booth behind you. This is all so familiar to you, dancing in a crowded club, a handsome brown-haired, brown-eyed guy right in front of you. The last time you were dancing like this with someone it had ended very differently from how tonight was going to end. 

You let the music swallow you, letting your instincts take over for your mind, and just enjoying the way the music flows through you. It all feels so incredibly natural, like this is exactly what you were born to do. You started closing yourself off from this when you got too busy with work and Tom and everything else. 

Tom.

Looking up at Mena, you see Tom instead. Honey-brown eyes looking at you with love enough to fill this whole room. His eyes capture yours and you feel your heart shatter, the buzzing in your head gets louder, the colorful strobe lights becomes too much and the whole world starts spinning. 

With a sudden urgency your tear your eyes away to look down at the ground, and when you look back up again, Mena is looking at you with a concern evident in his eyes. He furrows his brows as he asks you something, but you can’t hear what he’s saying. 

You don’t move, you just stand there in the middle of the dance floor, completely still, hoping that everything is just going to stop and make sense again. Nothing happens, the strobe lights are still going crazy, another weird remix you have never heard before starts playing, the whole world is spinning, and you just stand there, looking at Mena like some helpless kid.

“Hey! Do you need to go outside?” He’s hugging you now, mouth right next your ear and you just nod into his shoulder, not really knowing what words are at the moment. “Alright, let’s get your bag first.”

He takes your hand with his and you focus on your feet as he quickly maneuvers you out of the club, holding your clutch tight in his other hand. Since it isn’t a high-end, celeb-typical club he doesn’t look around before the two of you sit down on a bench on the other side of the street to the club. 

For awhile you just sit there, playing with the hem on your dress that feels too short all of a sudden. The sound of the late night traffic distracts you from all the thoughts that feels like are banging into your skull and your eyes dull over with silent tears as you look up at the night sky. You can’t see the stars, all the light from the city obscuring it, but there’s a familiar comfort in the dark night sky.

“I know we only met yesterday, but if there’s something you wanna talk about, you can trust me.” Mena bumps his shoulder into yours, and the thought that you can’t even start a new life without Tom haunting you almost makes you wanna laugh. Or maybe cry, it’s hard to tell at this point. 

“I ehm.. I have this ex that I just got reminded of, and I’m very clearly not over him,” you sigh, turning to look at Mena with a pretty pathetic smile. “I don’t wanna ruin your night, you can go back in if you want to. I’ll be fine.”

“Nah, I’m gonna stay right here and make sure my on-screen love is okay.” He places his arm around you and draws you in so you can lay your head on his shoulder. “Do you wanna talk about him?”

“I don’t know actually. My best friend, Dan, hasn’t really allowed me to since the breakup.” 

“You should. Talk about him, I mean. It doesn’t have to be with me, but all those pent up feelings that keep bubbling to the surface? That’s you missing him, and if you don’t let them out, you’re never going to get over him.” Mena’s voice is so calm and the warm california air feels like a warm hug surrounding all of you. 

“My brother’s a psychologist and he told me something a couple weeks ago that I think you need to hear. When we cry, it’s not because we’re sad or it’s built into our brain that we need to show others that we’re sad. It’s because every single emotion we ever feel is made up of these small hormones inside us, and if we have too many of them at once, like when we’re  really frustrated or happy or sad, we cry because the tears transport some of those hormones out to stabilize us again. Personally, I think that applies to words too, if you have too many thoughts pent up inside, you won’t have space for new, fresh thoughts. So let some of them out. Even if your friend Dan won’t allow you.” He removes his hand from around you and instead grabs your hands in his.

“So come on, tell me about this guy.”

“It’s just, I thought I was going to marry him, you know?” You glance up at Mena, seeing his supportive smile and attentive eyes. “We met at an event four years ago, and something just felt so right, it was like every bad choice I had ever made and every failure finally made sense. If I hadn’t failed I wouldn't have met him, and he made me happier than I ever imagined being, and now he’s just gone.”

“Did you ever get to say goodbye to him?” Mena rubs his thumb across your knuckles before he moves to sit on one knee in front of you. If a stranger walked by they would think this was a very strange proposal. 

“What do you mean?” You sigh, reaching one hand up to dry away the tears on your cheeks.

“I mean, did you really say goodbye? Tell him that you love him but that you have to move on? Tell him how much he meant to you but that you can’t keep being in love with him? Did you get closure, or was it just a messy breakup.” 

Your mother had always talked about how some moments in your life would be bigger than you had ever imagined. How even the smallest conversation could change your entire outlook on life and how even the smallest hardships could turn out to have the biggest lessons right on the other side of them. As Mena is sitting there, on the tiled ground in front of you, looking at you, not with pity but support, you know this is one of those moments. You didn’t have closure. The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind when he came to see you.

Mena nods in response to your silence and hands you your clutch. He sits back down on the bench beside you, still holding one of your hands. 

“Call him. Say goodbye. I’ll be right here.” He squeezes your hand as you use the other to grab your phone. It’s almost 2 am here, which means it’s 10 am back home in London, which is a weird thing to think about right as you press the button to dial your ex.

One ring; one breath and a sob that makes Mena squeeze your hand again.

Two rings; another deep breath and a thumping heart.

Three rings; You can’t do this, this is stupid, you should just hang u… He picks up.

“Y/n?” He’s right there, on the other end of the line, and all of a sudden the words are stuck in your throat. “Hello?”

“Hi,” Your voice sounds weak, and you bite down, hard, on your lip to force away that feeling.

“I.. I thought you were done with me, why are you calling me?” His voice calms you immediately. It’s groggy, his morning voice, and behind your closed eyelids you can see him lying under his pure white duvet with the sun from the window hitting his face so his jawline stands out even more. His curly hair is probably messy from his habitual restlessness. He always told you that you were the only thing to keep him from tossing and turning all night.

“I just needed to talk to you, I guess.” You don’t sound as weak, but even then you bite down a little harder on your bottom lip.

“Listen, y/n, I fucked up. I know that, and if you’ll just give me the chan-”

“Stop!” He stops. Something in the pit of your stomach is annoyed that he doesn’t fight to say what he wants, another is grateful that you don’t have to hear it, because that would make saying goodbye so much harder. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, and once again you can see him, one hand holding his phone up to his ear and the other covering his eyes. You can see it, because that’s exactly what he does whenever he’s had to take an awkward phone call. If you had been there when he had to take one of those in bed, you would have kissed his chest, neck and jaw to distract him. The risk was exciting too, but you always told him it was to distract him.

“I need to say goodbye, Tom. These past years have been amazing, and I can’t thank you enough for all that you have taught me. Really, you mean the world to me.” You glance sideways at Mena who nods, encouraging you to go on. “But you can’t mean the world to me anymore. You decided that we just weren’t right for eachother and maybe you saw something I just couldn’t. So I’m gonna take some time to just, figure out what you saw, and learn to love my life without you in it. Goodbye Tom, at least until I’m completely over you.” You barely get the last part out, your lips trembling and your eyes stinging with tears.

“Wait, y/n!” You hang up on him. With the phone still clenched so tight in your hand that your knuckles are turning white, you turn to look at Mena, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. He stands up, dragging you with him before he pulls you into a hug, not minding that your smeared makeup is very obviously going to stain his crisp white shirt. 

“How did you know I needed to do that?” You ask, keeping your eyes on the club entrance and your ear against his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. 

“I needed the exact same thing a couple of weeks ago.” You can hear the slight smile in his voice, and you feel amazed at how kind this guy is. You haven’t even known him for 12 hours, and yet he gets you in a way Dan just doesn’t. “And I get what overprotective friends can do. Saying that missing someone is okay, isn’t the same as actually allowing someone to miss their ex.”

The two of you both let out a tearful chuckle, and you draw back from him, keeping your hands in his.

“Maybe the two of us just need a little romance again.” You laugh, another tear slowly making its way down to your jaw. “Come on, let's go back inside, they must be wondering where we are by now.” 

Grabbing your clutch from its place on the bench you start making your way across the street to the club again, when you notice Mena isn’t following you.

“What’s up?” You take a few steps back so you’re standing with him again. 

“I just had a really weird idea, but it might actually work.” He turns to look at you, a very mischievous glint in his eye, and for some reason you feel bubbling excitement in your chest.

“Go on,” The relief of telling Tom goodbye has you feeling quite adventurous and spontaneous.

“You and I both need to get over someone, right? Normal people would get a rebound, but we would probably both feel to bad for that person to ever actually get that rebound. So how about we’re each other's rebound? One date, one night. We get the romance and the excitement of a date with no expectations.” His smile widens as he talks and you feel yourself nodding along. You haven’t really felt worthy of romance since the last time Tom bought you flowers, and you could really use an evening where you just forget everything.

“So what do you say? For one night, I’m not Mena Massoud, I’m just Mena and you’re just y/n. Just a regular boy and a regular girl who find eachother attractive, going on a date, but the both of us will wake up in the morning knowing that we are just friends, and hopefully, we’ll then be ready to go on with our lives?” 

Right there, under the California night sky, in front of a buzzing night club, standing beside your dancing partner for the next few months, you find yourself in a position to choose between the safe route to getting over Tom, where you take your time getting over him, eating a ton of ice cream and watching way too many rom-coms. Or you can choose the untraditional route, a weird version of friends with benefits for a night, with an attractive guy. That would definitely make Tom jealous, and to be honest, the thought of hurting Tom even just a little, has you weirdly excited. If anyone ever asked, you would never admit that though.

“Let’s do it,” you grin up at Mena as you shake on it.

Well, this is gonna be strange. 

Taglist:

@spider-manholland​ @cinna-minseok​ @trumpettay​ @racewife2004​ @paradisiacalsparks @farfromshawn​ @lovely-geek​ @plutoneu​ @primadonnasdream​ @panicattheeverywherekid

like water, like air (breathe)

like water, like air (breathe)

summary: all you know is that every time you surface, you inevitably sink again. but jeonghan is like air, and you’re afraid that once he leaves, you won’t survive in water anymore.  

resident psychiatrist jeonghan x resident internist reader

At every step, you felt like you were drowning. After four years, you thought that you could finally break through the currents and let air fill your starved lungs, but relief, like it always was, was temporary. One month later, the waves magnified and crashed over you again, and you could barely remember what it felt like to be able to breathe.

So when you introduced yourself to the senior residents on your new team, you had to stifle a gasp at the picturesque man who occupied the seat next to yours, his hand outstretched with a lazy grin. He wore a billowy button-down shirt with red and white pinstripes tucked into black slacks, the top button undone to expose the expanse of his neck and hint at defined clavicles.

“Jeonghan,” he stated, platinum blonde hair framing his hooded eyes. “I look forward to working with you.”

“Likewise,” you muttered, your hand grasping his delicately. You busied yourself with grabbing your list from the printer and trying to clear your mind of unnecessary thoughts, most of which were surrounding your fellow intern lazily running his long fingers over his own patient list.

“Just to warn you,” Seungcheol, your senior resident, began, “the attending on service is a bit of a hardass. Really nitpicky, so be thorough when presenting admissions.” He had swiveled around in his chair to address the two of you, and you could see the faint dark circles outlining his otherwise warm eyes. He glanced at you for a moment before breaking out into a gummy smile, “Don’t look so worried, though. This dude graduated a month ago so he’s only been an attending for like, two seconds. We’ve got your back.”

Jihoon, the other senior resident, ceased his endless typing to let out a grunt. “I’ve seen him make interns cry. It’s so unnecessary,” he gruffly agreed.

“That’s not very impressive,” you shrugged. “Scrub techs made me cry in medical school, it’s not really a feat.”

Jihoon had resumed typing in his orders, but you could see him raise an eyebrow. “You know, it’s not very common to just blatantly admit your weaknesses to people when you first meet them.”

“We’re only together for a month,” you smiled. “I thought we could speed up the ‘getting to know each other’ process.” You could hear Jeonghan’s tinkling laughter beside you, and you turned to face your computer to ignore the heat that rose to your cheeks from the sound.

However, you couldn’t ignore the sky blue post-it that made its way to your keyboard. You glanced at your neighbor out of the corner of your eye, but Jeonghan was diligently writing down lab values, his lips ever so slightly parted.

Shua made me promise to look out for his “crybaby,” but he didn’t tell me that you were so pretty :) I always keep my promises, so don’t worry!

You snatched the post-it, along with your list, and with a quick “I’m going to pre-round now bye!” you were out the door, missing the upward curl of Jeonghan’s lips.

---

me [7:01 AM]: JOSHUA HONG me [7:01 AM]: how dare u gossip about me to our peers me [7:02 AM]: it’s so embarrassing me [7:02 AM]: also why is ur friend flirting with me

joshuji [7:05 AM]: can you, like, not??? i was trying to use the interpreting service and your texts kept buzzing my phone joshuji [7:05 AM]: don’t you have patients to see too

me [7:05 AM]: sending image

joshuji [7:07 AM]: big yike joshuji [7:07 AM]: this is so out of character for him? he was actually really shy and nervous in medical school. idk maybe you are pretty go get it ;)

me [8:00 AM]: i was so horrified that i did not regain the ability to type until now. get what, exactly? me [8:00 AM]: also i know that i’m not your type but MAYBE?? me [8:01 AM]: rude. i retroactively retract all my “you look so nice today” statements

joshuji [8:03 AM]: fine. you’re pretty for a crybaby joshuji [8:03 AM]: lunch in the lounge at 1?

me [8:05 AM]: ofc. my few constants in life – complaining in the lounge and getting sassed by you. wouldn’t miss it

---

You would be impressed that you had lasted a whole week if you weren’t busy trying to disguise the familiar stinging set behind your eyes. The workroom felt stuffier than usual, with the addition of two eager medical students in the corner and the attending in the center, his unrelenting gaze on you. After fumbling with finding what the initial vital signs in the ED were and when the last albuterol dose was given, your panic had risen to the point where your mind was wiped clean. And of course, that was when he had asked you to give a differential diagnosis.

You were never so grateful for the hierarchy established than you were at that moment. Seungkwan and Chan did well in filling in different etiologies for respiratory distress, and you made a note to give them positive feedback at the end of the day. However, it was your turn to give the leading diagnosis, and Seungcheol and Jihoon glaring daggers at the attending’s back did little to ease your anxiety.

You felt a light touch at your elbow and a pen clatter to the floor beside you. Jeonghan leaned over and whispered, the sound disguised as a cough as he swooped down to pick up the pen. Fighting off the embarrassment, you held onto this shred of information that Jeonghan had slipped you like a buoy, only letting out a deep exhale when the attending nodded in satisfaction and left to see the patients.

“Excuse me,” you whispered as you stood up, hurriedly opening and slamming the door to the workroom behind your retreating figure. You escaped to the nearby call room, empty and dark in the day time, and tried to catch your breath on one of the threadbare mattresses.

Seungcheol gave an imperceptible nod to Jeonghan as he also stood up. “Well, I’m going to grab coffee, anyone want anything?”

Jihoon called out, “A coke, please,” before his deep voice grumbled at the students to go write their notes. Seungkwan and Chan immediately turned to their own computers to avoid Jihoon’s indifferent stare, while Seungcheol rolled his eyes and complimented them on their presentations.

In the call room, you heard a light knock before a series of electronic beeps on the door’s keypad. The handle turned softly and you turned your head to see Jeonghan’s silhouette bathed by the fluorescent lights of the hallway. He stepped inside and let the door close behind him, the room again falling back into the darkness.

You kept your face in your hands as you hastily tried to wipe away your tears. The mattress dipped beside you as Jeonghan sat down, his hands clasped in his lap.

“Thank you,” you said, your voice uneven. You tried to take a breath, but you ended up shuddering instead. “This is so embarrassing. This has happened to me so many times, but I still don’t know what’s wrong with me, why I can’t get over it—”

“It’s okay if you can’t,” Jeonghan interrupted, placing a hand on your shoulder. “That’s what people always say, that you’ll get used to it, but I don’t think it’s something that you should get used to. I’ve only worked with you for a week but you’re so smart, and kind, and your patients love you. Even the med students like you, they’re always clamoring over themselves to impress you.”

You let out a chuckle at the memory of Seungkwan and Chan both trying to get you to review their notes as Jeonghan sat in his corner, pretend-glaring at Chan.

“Can I hug you?” Jeonghan asked, and you nodded. You felt his arms wrap around your shoulders as he pulled you against him, hands rubbing circles on your back. You could hear the steady beating of his heart and the faint smell of his cologne, and it surprised you how comfortable you felt wrapped in the warmth of his body.

“Thank you, Hannie,” you mumbled, your arms wrapping around his waist to give a quick squeeze before pulling back.

“Hannie?” he asked, his cheeks flushing a rosy hue.

“Oh, sorry, Joshua always calls you that—”

“No, I like it when you call me that,” he mumbled, his eyes lighting up despite the darkness of the room. “It totally beats the ‘Yoon Jeonghan (Intern)’ that you have me saved as in your phone.”

“Oh my God,” you laughed, pushing him lightly before getting up. “As if you don’t have me saved as the same thing.”

“No, you’re ‘Pretty Crybaby’ with a bottle emoji next to it.”

You stared at him, horrified, and hit his shoulder. “You have to change it!”

“Only if you change me to ‘Hannie”, he grinned, his pinky outstretched. You rolled your eyes and linked your pinky with his.

That night, you dreamed of the deep, open sea, but rays of light broke through the water like slender fingers guiding you towards the surface.

---

“I’ve missed you,” Jeonghan pouted, handing you a can of coffee from the refrigerator. You finished gathering your hair up into the messiest of ponytails and grabbed the can, smiling reflexively when your fingertips lingered on his. You stood in front of him in old scrubs and sneakers, devoid of makeup and tired, and you marveled at how he could still flirt with you.

“You won’t be saying that after our 24-hour shift together this weekend,” you pointed out.

“It’ll be like a sleepover, I’m so excited,” he deadpanned, and you both laughed at his tone of voice. “But really, handling the kids on my own is so tiresome.”

“You basically adopted Chan on the third day.”

“Okay, handling Seungkwan on my own is so tiresome.”

The two students bounded through the door of the lounge, as if on cue. They left their backpacks in the corner and beamed at you as you handed them printed lists. 

“Time for sign-out, Dr. Boo, Dr. Lee,” you grinned, ruffling Seungkwan and Chan’s hair. “Pay attention, Dr. Yoon,” you giggled, ducking down to avoid Jeonghan’s hand aimed at your head.

---

kwan [3:10 PM]: when will they let us leave?? I need to study kwan [3:12 PM]: and it’s so boring with only jeonghan to bother kwan [3:12 PM]: he just leans back in his chair like this is his house kwan [3:13 PM]: and I’m still offended by what he said about me being tiresome

chan [3:15 PM]: I’m literally right next to you? chan [3:15 PM]: We can always pull the ‘Is there anything else I can help with before I go” card chan [3:16 PM]: more importantly, did you also hear about them having a 24 hour shift together? chan [3:16 PM]: I ship it

kwan [3:17 PM]: omg I know I wonder if there are any workplace rules or w/e kwan [3:18 PM]: but then again jeonghan has already been v flirty kwan [3:18 PM]: maybe I’ll put that in his evaluation. “I admire his ability to shoot his shots”

chan [3:20 PM]: #rolemodel #inspo

---

The weekend came, and with it, the rain. Water pelted against glass windows in sheets as the low rumble of thunder echoed throughout the city. You were sitting cross-legged in the middle of the mattress with your laptop balanced on your knees, the rest of your belongings shoved in the corner where the bed met the wall. You heard the familiar beeping of the keypad, and like a week prior, Jeonghan stood in the doorway.

He gave you a quick “hi” before collapsing onto the other bed across from you, folding his arms across his stomach.

“Rough night?” you asked sympathetically, rummaging around in your bag for a snack to share.

“I don’t know what it is about the rain that makes everyone in this hospital so crazy,” you heard Jeonghan mutter under his breath. He rolled onto his side to face you and you placed a small box of banana milk next to him. He took it gratefully and poked the straw through the top, letting out a contented sigh.

“Let’s get some rest before they wake us up about that guy in room 5102 not peeing again,” you said, placing your laptop to the side and getting up to turn off the light. You heard an incoherent mumble in response. Shaking your head, you smiled and felt for the blanket folded at the foot of the bed, covering it carefully over Jeonghan’s form and moving the box of milk to the nightstand. Before you could turn back to your own bed, you felt a hand in yours and a brush of lips across your knuckles.

It was whisper, almost lost against the hum of the air conditioning. “Thank you for taking care of me.” 

This time, you dream of floating, your body weightless as you stared up at the blue sky above you.

---

It’s almost the end of your month with Jeonghan when it finally hits you.

“Joshua, I’m screwed,” you groan, your hand dropping your fork back into your salad bowl. Joshua scoffs across from you, taking a bite of his pasta and swallowing before waving his own fork in your direction.

“What are you talking about? You’ve been doing super well on the team, from what I’ve heard.”

“It’s who you’ve heard this stuff from that’s the problem, Joshua,” you sigh. “I’m too old to have crushes.”

Joshua gasped dramatically, and snickered when you shot a glare at him across the table. “Sometimes, you’re really dense. You’re literally all that Hannie talks about. Well, you and your med student, Chan.”

“But we only have one more week together, and then what?” you ask glumly, poking at the wilting leaves.

Joshua reached his hand to still your movements. “Hey, you’re talking like you’re never going to see him again after this block. We still make time for each other, and I’m sure you two can, if you want to.”

“But you guys are also technically psychiatry residents,” you stated, moving your hand from under Joshua’s grasp. “You’re not going to be around after this year.” You could feel the tightness behind your nose, the quickening beat of your heart, and the uncomfortable lurch in your stomach as reality soaked through you, dripping wet and cold.

You would be on a different team in a week.

Joshua and Jeonghan would be gone in a few months.

The crisp air that filled your greedy lungs would be replaced by the burn of seawater again and again, the tide a relentless onslaught every time your head broke through the surface. You had learned how to breathe again through hooded eyes and lazy smiles and faint cologne, through a shock of platinum blonde hair and a lilting voice.

But this time, you didn’t know how you would fare when you went under again.

“Why do you think that we won’t see each other anymore?” Joshua asked quietly. In the back of your mind, you knew that he was slipping into his psychiatry persona, trying to get you to talk about your worries and fears. And as much as you knew that it would feel better to talk about it, and as much as you trusted Joshua, you couldn’t explain it.

You couldn’t tell him that you ended up having no one in your third year of medical school, the friendly waves in the hallway turning to tense, unsaid competition between your classmates for good evaluations and honors.

You couldn’t tell him that with every team that you’ve been on during your intern year, you end up dispersing on the last day, going separate ways despite the physical and emotional investment spent caring for patients and for each other.

You couldn’t tell him that he was just a fluke, an anomaly in your track history of brief, intense connections that characterized your entire career thus far.

You couldn’t tell him that everyone always left.

And you had learned to survive with water in your lungs, but Jeonghan tasted like air, clean and proper and euphoric.

What you said, instead, was, “I’m scared.”

It was truth enough.

---

han [7:35 PM]: I’m so excited about tomorrow han [7:36 PM]: last day~ but maybe we can finally go on a proper date

shua [7:37 PM]: bro, you need to have an honest conversation with her shua [7:37 PM]: she thinks you’re just never going to speak again after tomorrow shua [7:38 PM]: well, she thinks we’re all not going to speak to her after our intern year ends because we’re in different programs, but that’s a whole other thing shua [7:39 PM]: there is a lot of catastrophizing

han [7:40 PM]: I’ll appreciate it if you didn’t psychoanalyze my future s/o han [7:41 PM]: I mean, you’re right, but still

shua [7:42 PM]: aren’t you getting ahead of yourself there buddy

han [7:45 PM]: no. I’ve been an absolute angel

shua [7:45 PM]: I already regret setting you up shua [7:46 PM]: what did my sweet crybaby do to deserve this

---

“Hannie?” you answered tentatively, brows furrowing in confusion when you saw your phone screen light up with his name.

“Uh, hey,” he laughed, the sound tinny and nasal. “Do you have time to talk?”

“Yeah, is something wrong?” you ask, your thoughts flashing to the conversation you had with Joshua several days ago. You could feel something akin to dread rise up in your chest, but you pushed it down.

“No, nothing bad. Do you live in the resident housing complex? I can come over.”

“Okay,” you sigh, giving him your apartment number. Twenty minutes later, you heard a knock on your door, and you let Jeonghan in.

“So,” the blonde started, settling himself on your sofa, “Joshua told me that you were…worried.”

“Joshua needs to stay out of my business,” you muttered under your breath. Jeonghan grinned and patted the space next to him, and when you sat down, his sweater-clad arm wrapped around you like it was a motion that he had perfected for years.

“I’m just going to come out and say it,” he said, his heart starting to quicken in his chest. “I was really excited about our last day together because I thought I could finally ask you out properly.”

Your eyes widen as you angled yourself towards him. “Oh, so you mean those moments in the call room weren’t dates?” you teased, and he covered his face with his hands.

“Ugh, you’re not making this any easier,” he whined, and you laughed before wrapping your hands around his wrists and gently pulling his hands away from his face. You smiled gently at him before averting your gaze, suddenly shy as your hands traveled down his wrists to rest in his hands.

“I’m sorry, Hannie,” your voice no more than a whisper. Your eyes were fixed resolutely to the floor as you spoke. “I’m just not used to people wanting to stick around, and I’m scared about what’ll happen in the future.”

“Hey,” he said softly, reaching over to tuck your hair behind your ear. “Of course I want to stick around. It’s weird, but I feel like I want to know everything about you. Like, I went into psychiatry because I was interested in how people became who they were, but these past few weeks, I just wanted to know how you became the person you are today. Someone who works hard, who feels with their entire being. Someone who I’ve grown really attracted to.”

You felt your cheeks heat up and you wrapped your arms around his waist, hiding your face in his chest. “You can’t just say these things, Jeonghan,” you protested, feeling the rumble of laughter through his body.

“I can promise you that we’ll make it work. Even after tomorrow. Even after this year.”

You pulled away to look up into his brown eyes, at the curve of his nose, at his red lips pulled into a wide smile. You breathed out, “and you always keep your promises” before pulling him towards you, lips singing praises against his, wrapped up in a brown sweater and a gentle breeze whispering Jeonghan, Jeonghan, Jeonghan.

---

my hannie [6:01 AM]: I’m on the shuttle to the inpatient psych center! you’re probably still asleep, sorry that I couldn’t get you breakfast :( my hannie [6:02 AM]: but just wanted to wish you luck on your first day as a !! second !! year!! can you believe it? i’m so proud of you, baby. everyone’s going to love you, but not as much as me~ my hannie [6:03 AM]: shua says good luck too! I’m going to try to take a nap, it is way too early my hannie [6:05 AM]: but also….Joshua or Jeonghan?

my baby [6:30 AM]: omg hannie of course you, you big dummy. I woke up sad bc the bed was empty and then panicked bc I forgot that I didn’t have to go to sign-out anymore my baby [6:31 AM]: good luck on your first day too! poor hannie, you have to get up so early my baby [6:32 AM]: I’ll grab takeout and then we can cuddle tonight and talk about our days?

my hannie [7:00 AM]: ah yes, my most natural state – lying down in your arms. sounds perfect my hannie [7:01 AM]: I love you so much, pretty baby

my baby [7:02 AM]: well I guess it’s an upgrade from ‘pretty crybaby’ my baby [7:02 AM]: love you too

Birds of a Feather

Summary: The Jims are looking for a new story to report on. What should be a simple task takes a turn when they decide to dedicate their report on Randall.

Characters: Randall Voorhees and the Jims

Tags: @bingiplierdaily

Read on AO3!

-

“As you can see… the mystery still continues,” Reporter Jim said ominously to the camera. Him and Camera Jim decided to look for another story to report. They always came across good stories when they stalked - or observed, according to them - the other egos in the manor. And today, they believe they had found the perfect story to report on.

Randall wasn’t usually the centre of attention in the household. He was a tame guy when compared to the other egos, had a friendly attitude and didn’t create too much chaos. But he had his secrets.

The Jims noticed that Randall disappeared after lunch and didn’t come back for a couple hours. Every. Single. Day.

And if that wasn’t a potential news story then the Jims might as well resign right now. So they decided to follow Randall’s routine to see if they can find a juicy story.

“What schemes could this man be hiding? Perhaps there are darker intentions hiding behind that kind smile.”

They followed Randall to one of the city parks, the other ego had no clue of their presence. The park was beautiful. Paved walkways showcased the best sights in the grand area. A vast number of trees loomed over various fields, accompanied by small patches of well tended to flowers. No wonder why Randall liked it here, the intricate pathways and pretty scenery probably reminded him of Central Park. In fact, the place was so intricate that the Jims lost track of Randall and had no idea where they were.

“Jim? Our adventure has taken a dangerous turn…” RJ said grimly to his brother. “We may not live through this, but we must push on.”

CJ nodded and shook his camera up and down.

“This park is cruel… if we’re this stuck then who knows what happened to Randall?”

Just as RJ spoke about Randall, a kind eldery woman walked up to the pair. “Are you boys looking for Randall?” The Jims nodded as the woman smiled. “Oh, he’s such a nice young man! He and I feed the birds sometimes.”

RJ glanced at the camera with a surprised expression. They were expecting this report to have a plot twist with the horrific discovery of Randall’s true colours. Instead, they got this wholesome reveal… light-hearted stories didn’t do nearly as well as dark stories.

“Ma’am, can you please tell us the whereabouts of Randall? It’s for an important story!”

“Why of course, deary! He’s usually hiding in his secret spot away from others. Right behind those trees and to the left of those rocks.” The woman pointed the Jims in the right direction.

“Thank you, ma’am,” RJ quickly replied as he grabbed CJ’s arm. “Come on, Jim! Let’s see what we can find.” They ran in the direction where Randall was. After some, ungraceful, running they saw the other ego sitting against a big rock. The setting would have been boring, if not for dozens of pigeons surrounding the man.

RJ turned towards CJ and put his index finger to his lips. As he crouched behind a tree CJ zoomed his camera lens onto the image. It was hard to spot Randall amongst the flock of birds though.

“It appears that Randall is being mauled by vicious beasts,” RJ whispered into the camera, uncomfortably close to the lens. “What should we do, Jim? Should we help him?”

CJ nodded his head again.

Luckily, the rustling noises the Jims made could be brushed off as an animal skittering around. Unluckily, RJ got his foot caught on a root and fell right in front of Randall, startling a few birds to top it off.

“U-Uh…!” RJ stared at Randall with wide eyes. CJ went over to him to help him up, seemingly just as flustered.

“Jims?” Randall sat dumbfounded as he looked at the twins. He tried to calm a few of the startled birds down. “What’re you guys doing?”

“Uh oh, Jim! He caught us!”

“...Caught you doing what?” Randall squinted his eyes wearily. The Jims were chaos incarnates, any sort of plan they came up with could mean trouble. And right now he had too many precious little lives with him to risk anything.

“Randall has caught onto us,” RJ spoke to the camera as if the person of focus couldn’t hear him. “We must be extra careful as he has what appears to be a small army.”

“I’m just feeding these birds, y’know?” He shook a paper bag full of seeds as emphasis, the pigeons immediately cooed loudly. “These little guys won’t harm anybody. You can join me if you want.” As if on cue, a couple of the birds next to him moved away to make room for the Jims.

After a few seconds of confused staring, RJ shuffled over by Randall’s side and sat down. CJ stayed back to get a better shot of the two, totally not because he was afraid of getting pecked to death, he just wanted good footage. Randall snickered at the nervous twins.

Now up close, RJ got a better view of the other ego. Randall was unfazed by the various pigeons perched on him and waddling around him. His hardhat wasn’t on for once, instead it was turned over on his lap and housed the biggest pigeon RJ’s ever seen. Occasionally, he took some seeds and tossed it towards the eager birds.

“What were you guys doing anyways?” Randall asked, accidentally startling the jumpy twins.

“We were recording a special report,” RJ admitted. “Thought we would uncover something intense, we didn’t expect… this.”

“You’re like King,” CJ whispered behind his equipment.

“Nah, I don’t base my life on these guys. That takes real dedication. I just like birds, loved ‘em since I was a kid back home.” Randall gestured to the pigeon in his hardhat. “In fact, Herb here followed me from New York.”

The Jims were awestruck as Randall continued to talk. The shock of having dozens of birds judge them was starting to wear off, only to be replaced with news opportunity. People loved animals, they could turn their report into a nature documentary!

“Herb,” RJ spoke into his microphone. “What’s it like to live in the wild?” He then put the mic in front of the bird’s beak.

Herb cooed softly and promptly pecked at the mic’s foam.

“Wow, you…” Randall had to cover his mouth to stifle his laughter. “You guys are really something. ‘Fraid Herb isn’t one for interviews, but here,” Randall pointed to RJ’s hand. “Gimme your hand real quick.” He poured some seeds onto RJ’s hand.

There was a split second of peace as the rest of the pigeons stared at the seeds. All it took was one of them to fly towards RJ’s hand before a couple hungry birds ambushed the poor ego. RJ let out a startled yelp and stretched his hand as far away from him as possible.

“J-Jim?! I’m being attacked - Oh. Oh wait, this isn’t too bad actually.” The pigeons were being surprising gentle as they pecked at the seeds, never hurting RJ and focusing on the prize. The Jims stared in fascination, CJ zoomed his camera on the scene. RJ laughed and excitedly looked at Randall and the birds, using his free hand to pet the pigeons at random.

“Told you they wouldn’t hurt anybody.”

Everyone focused on the pigeons, sometimes the Jims asked random bird questions and Randall answered without hesitation. The Jims were oddly tame considering their nature. They got more than enough footage for their report and set aside their equipment in favour of paying more attention to the animals. CJ helped feed the birds too, nearly shedding tears of joy when a pigeon found solace perching on the top of his head.

“I’m glad you guys like it here,” Randall said while petting Herb. “If you want, you can join me when I come here again.”

“Yes, yes please!” The Jims cheered in unison. They were shaking with excitement. Not only did they get on Randall’s good side, but they also made a bunch of feathery friends! It took a lot of willpower to not take a pigeon back home.

“Alright, alright, calm down you two.” Randall started to get up, still carrying Herb in his hardhat. He emptied out what was left of the seeds onto the grass and watched the birds flock around the pile. “We should get going now. I was gonna treat Eric to ice cream later.”

The Jims picked up their equipment and trailed behind Randall, both more than willing to let the other ego guide them out of the park. Herb was still sleeping in the hardhat.

“Hey, between you guys and me,” Randall jokingly whispered. “Sometimes I sneak Herb into the manor by hiding him under my hat when I wear it. Eric loves it when I do that.”

Both Jims nodded, glancing between Randall and Herb. No wonder why Randall never took off his hat sometimes. Admittedly, CJ turned on his camera again during their walk and caught Randall’s confession. They’ll fix it in post.

here i am again, smashing the crystal vases and good china, ravaging the beautiful dining room and chucking antiques across the room. i want to be done here, i want to be done here! i want to move on, but to what? i can’t remember how to even be a person, i can’t find the light and this tunnel is so dark and endless, we don’t even have headlights to guide us. i came here to bring you on a date in the stylings of nineties classic it takes two starring kirstie alley and the olsens, except instead of mka we are switching them out for young taylor swifts, that’s right two of them, which is all i could think about the entire time i rewatched it again. so here goes nothing, we open on a street corner in philly because this is our version and the ahhccents are gonna be mewr sewth philly than ahhhnything. taylor swift number one, let’s call her taytay the scrappy orphan that has self-professed lousy english like aintcha gonna wanna git ewta here before they catcha? nobody even blinks and in pigtails and a worn out backwards baseball cap on her head, this ten year old who is probably played by an eight year old swift bc coming from a fellow tall person we just sprout from the crib it’s nuts, i’ve always looked older than i was from being tall. so eight year old swift is playing ten year old scrappy orphan taytay who is always chewing gum and has a baseball bat as kirstie alley (YOU.) look out the window and yell at her like, cmahhn tay! you got an appt with the butkis’ and i told u not to get that dress dirty! and tiny taylor chewing gum is like awww cuhmuhhhhhn doi-anne! just lemme knahck this one outta the pawrk first! that’s not the line it’s something else referencing the fact that they’re playing in the middle of the street of their inner city neighborhood. she is the pretty white girl of the orphanage so it makes no sense she hasn’t been adopted but is of course the star athlete of the kids and favorite of the social worker you-kirstie alley. she is accosted by kids and called a reject and lil taytay’s all why i awwwghta! she’s making her best >:| face, and pop goes the weasel she hits the ball and probably breaks a window or something and as she runs to the cab the kids are like, the butkis ppl are creeps that collect kids! and taytay is tayrrified before threatening the other kids with her fists in the air as the cab drives away. cut to a close up of a nineties cellphone and private plane landing, and taylor number two is wearing a practical pantsuit in beige and just won another piano competition, and she overpronounces all of her t’s at the end of her words. let’s call her fancita. yes i’m serious, i’m already so tired and bored of this story, it was way more exciting after rewatching the other night. whatever this story is just a remix of the parent trap anyway and that’s why we have two baby swifts and don’t ask me why, don’t ask me why i’ve taken you this far down the rabbithole but let’s just keep going until we find each other. so fancita is an aristocratic princess that plays tennis and i don’t know, i’m just trying to get to the part where they are like omg let’s get this social worker and rich man who has a cell phone company before that’s even a thing, and while orphan taytay is in danger of becoming the next adopted butkis - which in this version is just straight up trafficking ring i mean come on, they were pedos and it was heavily insinuated in the movie, but basically she’s in danger of being adopted into an abusive hellhole and fancitay is like hey girl hey! when her butler arrives to pick her up from her private jet. the nineties always portrayed wealth with these long ridiculous limos and british butler limo drivers, which as we now all know rich people are just driven in cars w tinted windows and the only people riding in limos are seniors in high school, but i digress. she meets her new soon-to-be stepmother, also played by taylor swift, present day style. she’s all, when i was your age i had already been through three stepmothers, you’ll be in a tibetan boarding school as soon as the wedding is over tomorrow! for this she is in her satanic red high priestess dress from lwymmd, golden snake rings at all. actually let’s just say at some point she’s bathing in diamonds as well, i mean there are many versions of her current snake-embraced image that we can use for this but that’s not the point, it is that im not even in love with grown taylor swift! i am just trying to fill the void of my dead wife who loved children and built a camp conveniently across from the literal castle we live in. i haven’t been there since, pushes back hair like sigh, since she died ten years ago right after fancitay was born. i’m all, cell phones, i hate the damn things. back when i invested in them everyone thought it was just something out of star trek and now i’m a lonely billionaire marrying snake taylor in a haze of confusion and thinking that’s what i should do, fancita needs a mother after all. you’re a tough talking protective mama bear that wants to adopt orphan taytay but you’re just a social worker and what? the butkis’ already had the paperwork go through to adopt her?? i come to find you after a failed horse meetup planted by the taylor twins to apologize for leaving you to get yelled at by steptaylor, and you’re like look keep your fancy cell phone company lifestyle and keep it moving, bucko! in the movie they get into a food fight but i’m not trying to go that deep, but basically we fight until you, an enraged four foot two version of kirstie alley okay you’re actually just a tiny goth and i’m a clumsy ogre, that part never changes. you push me with all your might, not necessary trying to push me into the river but it happens and i’m all, oh my god i feel like a kid again! this must be love! okay but seriously, that part’s the realest. i do feel like a kid again, and this must be love, mustn’t it? what will our tiny taylors tell us? we don’t know what it is or why, but it makes sense because we feel it, i can feel you. even when you say to your fellow social worker friend (played by your bandmate and beloved drummer) guys like that only date girls with food names like candy or muffin or cookie, and princess taylor disguised as orphan taylor turns around from her archery practice, greatly offended and snapping back, his dead wife was a teacher that loved kids and built this camp and she wasn’t a food her name was kathy with a k played by kourtney in a brief shot of her glamorously in a casket but dripping in jewels and hands delicately crossed over her chest. whatever, goth kourtney fantasies are not the point ok i know that. you look at princess taylor disguised as pauper taylor and are like well excuse me jeez, you don’t gotta bully me over it. sigh so then the state comes for her and accidentally send my daughter to some terrifying child sex ring that nightmares are made of and turned into dateline episodes, and this one is no less horrifying. orphan taylor shows the butler various scars and marks and bruises to show that she’s a fraudulent child that happens to just be another cute blonde that adults didn’t look closely enough at and notice bc they aren’t actually twins in this story, they’re just strangers that look alike. which honestly is prob when they first really started making the olsens insane irl like, pitting them against each other by pointing out fraternal differences and how one was the cute one the other was just the sister oh, don’t even get me started, dear. steptaylor comes home with ultra long extensions like repunzel after sneaky orphan taylor put gum in her hair. the original she gets it all cut off and suddenly her loss of beauty is signified by a short haircut which is so dumb and we just can’t agree with something so stupid, so in this she comes back with thousands of dollars worth of hair that isn’t hers just to prove her worth and appeal, which honestly is much sadder than a short sassy do any day. we get to the home of the butkis’ but no one answers and a neighbor who in the actual movie looks exactly like mike, like no shit just put a bass on him and it’s like every dude in a band probably but him specifically - unless i hallucinated it, the point is! he originally says oh that guy works those kids into the ground at the factory all day, or something like that, but in this version maybe he just shudders bc everyone just gets the pervy vibe from this butkis guy. the door gets kicked in as they are just about to initiate her into the butkis cult of abuse, and i don’t know i think it just ends with like, kirstie alley and the dad kissing? like they don’t get married or anything i don’t think. which leaves so many questions open like, if they do end up getting married, will the taylors become friends? will fancita resent taytay for taking up space and attention away? or will she be so grateful for good mother that everything will be fine and normal and fall into place? it seems like they’re all destined to end up on doctor phil. i mean, what happens when this bonehead (me) doesn’t continue to invest properly and his dumb luck cell phone business inevitably plummets because by the late nineties they’re a dime a dozen and each one is a sinking ship. what happens when they go bankrupt and all have to be poor, will they stay together? will princess taylor be like this is all your fault you’re bad luck with your poor people vibes! bc she can’t understand the crashing economy and how this is just what happens to people, one day you can be rich and the next totally broke, and it’s not really anyone’s fault. are you going to still love me even though i am horrible at saving money is what i’m asking? like, can you just quietly move money around in my accounts for me and put stuff in my savings when i’m not looking? because if i see literally any extra change i’m going to be like time to go eat giant cheeseburgers and drink ourselves into a coma! i got a groupon for a hotel stay in florida, let’s road trip! i know what your biggest concern is besides money and it’s because i know you like the back of my head (not at all), but the answer is no, steptaylor drowns in a sea of snakes at some point because i don’t have time for a decent end for her. i feel like it should be more feminist, like maybe she gets a job slinging mary kay and in the process realizes not only is she a boss at making her own income but that she doesn’t even need the amount of makeup she had been using before. she has like her own spiritual journey in the background somewhere far, far away from us and our super exclusive love, as well as our twin daughters taylor one and taylor two. i have completely forgotten their names by now but i’m just here to see if you even still love me. well? do you??? i’m just trying to prepare you for when i’m like, starting every other sentence with “you know when my wife died…” at really inappropriate times like, to a cashier in the checkout line or just in bed when we are having a romantic evening that i was bound to spoil in one way or another, so it may as well be with dead wife talk. you will probably just laugh and attempt to smother me with a pillow for being so, so embarrassing. i miss you i love you i hate you i don’t know you. i want you. do i ever even say anything else anymore? i mean it is halloween season so technically i don’t have to be original, right? you are the only ghost i could ever truly love, and that’s saying a lot seeing as how i arrived to this world haunted. pls tho, don’t ever stop being my best boo.

Hey! Could I get a match-up please? (Danganronpa and Mob Psycho 100, if it's not too much work for you ;v;) I'm a short INTP/INFP girl(5' orz) and have dark brown eyes and black hair. I'm really bad at small talk or holding a conversation generally and I keep blabbering stupid stuff (like "Do you like sprinkles? I love sprinkles."). I'm also super lazy and unathletic and have like zero stamina OTL. I'm always daydreaming and get confused quite easily. [1/3]

I also get sick super easily which is really annoying and frustrating ;;A;;!! I’m a sucker for cute and romantic things love wearing skirts and dresses

My ideal first date would be in a café talking about our interests and just enjoying each others company

It’s definitely not a bother or too much work, anon! ^^ Thanks for the request and I hope you’ll like your matches!

Your matches are…:

Mob Psycho 100 - Hanazawa Teruki

Teru was that kid who was virtually unapproachable in the beginning. Once he got a change over, he seemed like someone who may be nice, but you decide to keep your distance from him anyway. When you get caught in a bad situation, Teru comes to diffuse it, using his experience as a thug to pull you away from the tension. You thank him and as you’re about to pull away, he recognizes you from his class. You two end up walking home in awkward silence, neither of you unsure how to start a conversation. Your awkward bursts help guide the topics that arise and you end up talking to him about subjects like literature to shopping to ice cream. He isn’t as bad as a guy you thought he would be.

A day off leads you two to a popular ice cream parlor in town. This gives you the opportunity to witness Teru’s atrocious fashion sense yourself and after some ice cream, you take him to the mall to buy him new clothes. During the colder seasons, you make him a scarf and a pair of gloves since he neglected to buy those himself. Teru feels guilty for being unable to repay you and he hopes you accept payment in the form of affection. His interactions with the other girls grow less frequent and more sincere as he spends more time with you, realizing he can be himself when around you. This freedom allows him to be more affectionate and intimate for the person he truly loves.

In your downtime, the two of you can be seen out in the streets, walking around, people-watching, or sitting at a cafe and chatting for hours. Other times, you’ll be at one another’s houses enjoying each other’s company, watching movies or anime, or helping each other do homework. Teru loves it when you randomly give him a hug and he tries to do the same to you whenever possible. He also enjoys teasing you for your sense of direction and claims that you can never go anywhere without him since he can’t bear the thought of you getting lost somewhere.

It doesn’t take long for the rest of the school to label you two as an official, honest couple. There are always girls who approach you to try to scare you off, but Teru shuts them down quickly. His former followers help keep the peace among the jealous crowd while rooting for your happiness. Teru used to play around due to his popularity, but now that he’s found someone to love, he can only hope you’ll forgive him for his past actions and help him become someone he strives to be.

HagakureYasuhiro (Danganronpa): With his cheery and laidbackpersonality, it won’t be difficult at all to befriend Hiro, even with your moreintroverted nature. The two of you will get along pretty well, actually, thoughHiro might come off as intimidating at first due to his height and appearance.The fact that you’re not good at holding conversations isn’t much of a problem,at least not to Hiro, since he can get rather ridiculous himself when it comesto conversing. If you don’t shy away and actually listen to him, he’ll bereally happy about that. He wouldn’t mind the things you tend to blabbereither. Though he might be confused at first, he’ll likely roll along with you,much to the confusion of everyone else around you two. Hopefully you believehis fortune-telling is not the same as the occult, or you can prepare yourself tolistening to him explain why they’re not similar in the slightest. However, ifyou do believe that, Hiro would be genuinely happy about that. He doesn’t havemany friends (or any, if not counting Makoto and crew) so having someone thatwon’t mind his eccentricity would be a highlight in his life.

Hiro isn’t the most athletic person around either, and wouldmost likely enjoy just chilling around somewhere with you. He’d be interestedin seeing the pieces of artwork you’ve created, thinking it’s pretty cool ofyou. He isn’t as artistic of course and will praise your skills since in hiseyes, your creations look amazing. It’d catch Hiro off-guard if you were togive him something you’ve knit, especially if you let him know that you like todo that for your family and friends. As much as Hiro enjoys hanging out withyou and talking about a random assortment of topics, he didn’t think your friendshiphad gotten that deep, not that he’s complaining. Your hugs would also be asource of surprise for Hiro and the first time it happens, he’ll stiffen at thecontact, not expecting something like this. He’s never had many friends afterall, so receiving such affection is a bit foreign for him but after a few moretimes of this happening, he can say that he loves your hugs and will startreciprocating them. Your declarations of love will be processed in the sameway, though the first time he’ll be more shocked than surprised and getextremely flustered. Of course, after learning that you mean as a friend, he’llcalm down a bit more but he’ll still be quite nervous around you for a whileafterwards.

Hiro can be rather slow in the head so when he finds himselfnot feeling quite as happy as he normally feels when he hears you saying youlove him, he likely won’t be able to figure out that he has feelings for you. Hecan’t tell you this since he’s afraidof hurting your feelings so he’ll likely turn to Makoto, who’ll help him learnthat he likes you as more than a friend. Telling you this is the scary part,since what if you don’t feel the same?? He’ll try doing some fortune-telling tosee the outcome, and when it comes out positive, he decides to take the plunge.As endearing as you becoming easily confused can be, he really hopes you’ll beable to understand what he means and not take it to meaning that he loves youas a friend.

If you do accept his confession and feel the same way abouthim, Hiro would feel ecstatic but also become very flustered at the same time.What does he do now? Before he can actually think of anything, he’ll justoutright asks you what you’d like to do on a date and at hearing what yourideal first date would be, takes you out for exactly that, after asking Hinafor good café recommendations. Hiro might be a bit more awkward since this is adate, not a regular outing with you.While nothing has changed, at the same time, everything’s changed. He’s yourboyfriend now! He’ll try to act more like a gentleman but he really isn’t thatgreat at it. Hiro always thinks you’re adorable but especially today, he’llthink you’re simply gorgeous. Your clothing choices accentuates your cutenessand Hiro really can’t help but stare. He’ll attempt to do romantic things foryou but he totally lacks knowledge in that department and once again, will turnto his friends for help though both Makoto and Hina aren’t knowledgeable aboutthat either. He’ll bring you flowers sometimes and chocolates another, and evenoffer to tell you your fortune for free!

Because Hiro never really had friends, he treats those hecares for with great sincerity and that doubles for you. Your tendency to easilyget sick, as much as it frustrates you, would have Hiro worrying a lot for you.He’ll want to take care of you to the best of his ability and he’s alwaysfretting about if you have the medicine you need and if you’re getting enoughrest. Like you, Hiro can be easily scared too, especially if the topic ofghosts comes up. The perfect combination would then be the two of you in thedark, talking about ghosts. He’d try to comfort you and find the light to turnback on, or another light source so you’d be able to sleep, but once the topicof ghosts comes up, he’ll be freaking out rather badly and hurried change thetopic. This would be a rather interesting experience for you both to go throughat least, but Hiro would then adamantly tell you to never bring this up again.

Playing with Ice (2)

Jungkook x Reader

Chapter: 1, 2, 3

Genre: fluff/angst/smut later?? Word Count: 1.9k Description: You strike a deal that hockey player Jungkook can’t say no to. Insp by this tbh.

A/N: Hi! Thank you for reading the first chapter and I finally got the next one. I hope you enjoy it! Take a look at this performance that kinda inspired it all (maybe at the end so it won’t spoil anything ^u^) tbh I’m having my week of hell at work coming up so the next part won’t be out anytime soon ;o; 

     Jungkook had been figure skating ever since he was a small child. His mom would take him to the exact rink he practiced hockey in now. The only person so far to know that he figure skated was the skating rink manager, him, and now you. So when it came to pulling some strings and being let in before anyone else, he didn’t have any troubles. “So umm, how exactly did you get us in early?” “Did I say you can ask questions?” he retorted to which you frowned at. He wasn’t out right rude like the other boys on his team but he wasn’t exactly personable either. “You know, you could at least talk a little more to your partner…” “Yes, the partner that is blackmailing me to be her partner. Yes, I will totally be kind and cordial to you from now on.” His voice was smeared with sarcasm and the smirk plastered on his face didn’t make it any better.

     Jungkook fiddled with the ring of keys he pulled out of his backpack and unlocked the doors to the skating rink. “Are you sure we should be doing this?” you questioned him. There was no one there except for you and him, the halls dead silent and still veiled by the early morning darkness. Jungkook didn’t answer you and just flipped on the main power switch, filling the whole rink with light. He sat down on one of the benches and pulled out an old pair of black skates that were more streamlined than his usual hockey skates. So he does actually figure skate, you thought silently to yourself. Even while lacing his skates he noticed you staring. “So I assume you are blackmailing me more than to just ogle at my good looks?” he teased. “Psh. In your dreams Jeon.” “Ok that what is your plan?” he finished the last knot, turning his eyes back to you questioningly.

     This was a first. You would normally come up with your own routine if it was a solo performance, but your ideas fell to the side the last time you had a partner. “Uhhh…” you stood there like a dope who hadn’t a clue what ice skating was. Jungkook gave you a pitiful shake of his head and sighed. He was a person for detailed plans that were meticulously thought out to the very last move all thanks to years of hockey. There was always a plan A, B, C, and D. So realizing that he was stuck doing something he didn’t want anyone to know with someone without a single clue bugged him to no end. “Ok do you want quads? What move set up do you want? Is there a specific theme you’re going for?” He started listing a million things off his head that only confused you more. You, the exact opposite of Jungkook, did things rather haphazardly and on the spur of the moment. If it looked good, you would fit it into the routine without a thought.

     “Oh. My. God. Let’s just skate first and see how it goes, can we?” but you jerked him up off the bench before he could answer, pulling him onto the ice. All he could do was mumble a small ‘fine’ under his breath. You didn’t really know what to do with an extra body skating along with you and opted to hold his hand sheepishly while skating around the rink. It was rather silly going around in circles and Jungkook’s impatience got the better of him after doing way too many pointless rounds that he finally pulled you into the center of the ice. “Look, I’m only doing this for the sake of my dignity” he placed his hand on your waist and you automatically grabbed onto his shoulder. With his other hand holding yours, he guided both of you “but we gotta start somewhere.”  

     Skating as two people was a foreign experience and one you still weren’t comfortable with yet. It called for you to not only be confident in yourself but also put trust into the person you’re skating with, neither of which you felt. Jungkook sensed this from the way you tensed up with a single touch. His movements never faltered though, continuing to spin you around and skating with you from different angles. He guided you from behind, hands gently perched on your hips while your own arms were outstretched. He pulled you in too close for comfort, your nose touching his broad chest for a second before spinning you away from him. Jungkook bent you back in his arms, swung you in circles from your hands, carefully playing with how your body worked to familiarize himself with it. All the while whispering encouragements whenever you kept in sync or did a move particularly well. His stone hard expression that was practically carved into his face earlier had smoothed out. His eyes were serene yet still full of attention that was all on you. There was a moment you swore he smiled, just a little turn of the corners of his lips.

     His attentiveness to your own sensitivity brought a comfort that made you forget time existed. The only things that existed was the grating sounds of the ice beneath your feet and the heavy breaths between you and Jungkook. You guys had skated an hour without any breaks before stopping to catch a breath. You chuckled at how exhausted Jungkook was himself from just skating. He would play hockey looking like he hadn’t broken a drop of sweat but here he was hunched over in front of you, sweat dripping down his neck and gasping ruggedly for air. It was a sight you had to take your eyes away from to quell the dangerous fluttering in your heart.

“What are you laughing at?” He smiled tiredly

“Nothing, just thought we earned this break.”

     His wide eyes caught onto the end of your sentence like he had a eureka moment. “____! That’s it!” His enthusiasm startled you and you quirked your brow. Jungkook mustered up the rest of his strength to skate towards you and place his hands heavily on your shoulders, almost knocking you off balance. “What the hell Jungkook.” “Our song. Let’s skate to Earned It!”

     If it weren’t for the rare excitement in his eyes you would’ve dropped everything and left, face flushed from not just skating. You’ve seen one of these rare moments before where his eyes were wild with fire while his hands whirled around in crazy motions. He was making a meme face at his other team members to make them laugh and you had to blink twice to make sure that was actually the serious Jungkook everyone knew.

     You shook your head and playfully pushed him off of you. Doing such an intimate song and by The Weekend nonetheless was a feat you couldn’t imagine, but Jungkook had other ideas. “Come on, the routine doesn’t have to be hard. We don’t have to do a lot of flips or jumps, I can handle all the extravagant moves. I can lift you a couple times and add in the moves we did earlier. It’ll be a great piece!” The more he talked about it the more you were starting to fall into his delirious plan. He was right about not doing challenging moves, but the part where he wanted to use your body as juggling balls didn’t sit too well. “I’ve pushed the whole hockey team off my ass before, I think I can balance you with one hand.” His cockiness came out as endearing and a light giggle fell from your lips. “Think I’m kidding?”

     Jungkook took you into his arms and stared at you for the greenlight. You teasingly rolled your eyes and nodded but his strength was still abrupt, making you squeak as he lifted you up with both hands above his head. He spun around gently, letting the air of the momentum swirl your hair. An accomplished look was plastered on his face as soon as he let you down, with great care.

“Okay we can skate to Earned It.”

     It was hard not to give into every one of Jungkook’s ideas. He’d always ask for your opinion and reiterate that you could always add your own ideas when they came up, but he ended up choreographing most of the routine anyways. Time was flashing by, slipping between your fingers with every minute you spent with Jungkook in the early November mornings. Your body, ironically, never favored the cold even after spending a huge amount of your life on ice. But cold was never a problem when you were with Jungkook. His jokes and silly antics warmed the blood under your skin and the times where you were both close enough to breathe each other’s breath got your capillaries bursting. However, each time his harsh words from the first day this started echoed in your head. Once this performance is over, we never speak of this again. We go back to not knowing each other. You’d end up pushing your frivolous thoughts away to focus on the routine instead.

     Jungkook on the other hand, grew more at ease to the point that he found he was enjoying himself for once on the ice. Everything had been about winning and it had been a while that he skated just for the heck of it. Just to make art. He started to wake up, eager for the next practice with you and by the end of the first week the routine was pretty much set. There were a couple more technicalities to work on, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed.

     It was one morning after a rather near perfect practice that Jungkook decided to announce something that had been gnawing in his chest. “Hey, can we talk?” For some reason you dreaded those words that meant something different for you than it did for him. “We have a huge match coming up, it’s the day before your…our performance.  I have to focus with the team two days before that so I can’t really meet up with you those days.”

     You let out a sigh of relief that was quickly hidden by a pretend cough. “Yeah, Kook, that’s fine.” He smiled fondly at your nickname for him. “There’s…There’s something else. I was hoping you could come see the game. I mean, if you had free time.” This shy part of Jungkook was probably the most adorable side you’ve seen of him and it took all your will power not to scream Y-E-S in his face. The way his gaze shifted to the floor and even the nervous twiddling of his fingers. Practice was over but your heart was still racing a mile a minute after having rested.

     After wrapping everything up, Jungkook led the two of you out and locked the doors to the building. It became habit for him to walk you to the bus stop every morning, though you reassured him that it wasn’t necessary, he still waited to see you get on the bus. It was a sweet gesture that made the very tips of your toes tingle. It was in a moment of silence, unforgiving wind nipping the tip of your nose, that you had a thought. A simple question, really.

“Jungkook? What got you into figure skating?”

A Beginner’s Guide to Biking: How to Cycle for Fitness

Let’s get you up and rolling on a bicycle! 

Whether you’re using it for exercise or transportation, biking is a great way to stay active and explore the world around you.

That’s why we encourage it in our Online Coaching Program when we discuss fun exercises! 

Want to train in a way that doesn’t suck? Learn more about NF Coaching!

Here’s what we’ll cover in today’s guide:

What are the benefits of cycling?

The 6 different types of cyclists

How to buy a bike

How to set up your bicycle

What gear to purchase for biking

What to bring on your bike ride

How to ride a bike

How to improve your bike riding skills

Bike riding etiquette for newbies

It’s time to hit the road (Next steps)

Let’s roll!

What Are the Benefits of Cycling?

There are a lot of excellent reasons to take up riding bikes:

It’s a great and healthy way to move from point A to point B.

It’s free – no gas to put in, no parking spaces to pay for.

It’s low impact on your body. There are no jarring-impact moments like with running.

It’s a great place to start with exercise. Sit on bike. Pedal. Done.

It’s fun!

Cycling has a magical ability to be whatever the rider wants it to be. 

Fun, challenging, scary, romantic, social, silly… you name it and there’s a type of cycling for it. You can even change what type you are doing to suit your mood on any given day, which is why most avid cyclists end up with several different bikes.

Some Rebels in the NF Coaching Program have even used cycling as a tool to help them get in shape, as demonstrated by Kyle here:

Note: Kyle also switched up his diet for his result.

The world can use more cyclists, so I’m stoked you’re interested in getting started. 

The 6 Different Types of Cyclists

Let’s spend a few minutes thinking about what type of rider you’d like to be.

The below list is not mutually exclusive, mind you. You can flip back and forth, contradict yourself, or mix and match them to suit your own needs.

#1) Mountain Biker

No one loves the outdoors as much as these guys do. If you’d rather ditch the pavement for a trail, mountain biking may be for you.

#2) Roadie

As the name would suggest, these riders are going to be found pedaling down your street. They often wear bright colors to make them easily seen by commuters. If you go this route, you can pretend like you have a sweet superhero costume to wear!

You can take this idea too far. 

 #3) Track 

Track cycling is a racing sport where riders zoom around a velodrome. If you’re a beginner, this is probably too advanced for you, but something to think about as you gain more cycling experience. 

#4) Triathlete

A triathlon is a multisport race where participants run, swim, and bike their way to the finish line. They’re not a bad event to train for since you have to condition yourself for a few different sports.

There are many triathlon events designed for beginners, some of which you can check out right here. 

#5) BMXer

Generally when people do lots of tricks on their bike, it’s a BMX bike. 

BMX is an abbreviation for bicycle motocross or bike motocross and were originally modeled after dirtbikes (minus the engine). They’re popular with kids, but also good for adults who are looking to perform a stunt or two. 

#6) Casual Rider

This is, in my opinion, the easiest way to get started.Just do whatever you want to on a bike and enjoy yourself in the process. 

Sounds simple, right? It is!

How to Buy a Bike

Truth be told, the best bike for you to buy is whatever one you like the best.

I think it’s wise to get a bike shop’s help in buying a bike that fits you. Even though you can adjust your bicycle to fit (more on this next section), it could still be potentially too large or small. Here’s how to find a bike shop in your area.

If you are going to select a bike on your own, you’ll want to consider its height:

If the bike has a horizontal tube, you should have about one to two-inch clearance from your crotch to the top tube, when standing over the bike.

If the bike has a sloping top tube, you’ll want at least two-inch clearance.

Shown here from REI’s guide to bike fitting:

Now, bikes do cost money. Expect to spend a few hundred bucks minimum at your bike shop. You don’t have to spend thousands, but you’ll have more fun on a decent bike than a heavy, crappy one from a department store.

If you must buy as cheaply as possible, in my opinion, most people are best served with a steel-framed 80’s road bike. They’re cheap, nearly indestructible, and easy to find on Craigslist.

Don’t be afraid to make counter offers and haggle a bit. 

You can also search the bike on Bicycle Blue Book to make sure you’re getting a fair deal. 

If you do buy a used road bike, steer away from 27” wheels, since 26” have become standard and will be easier to replace.  

Lots of people get mountain bikes for their first bike, and I think it’s a mistake unless you plan on riding through dirt. They are heavy and slow because they’re meant for trail riding on mountains. There’s also a cheaper bike option called bikesdirect.com. They sell off-brand frames with name brand components, and seem to have good customer service. Remember: get the bike you like. If you like it you’ll ride it. Keep that in mind as you’re reading the flame wars and conflicting advice. After all, it’s just bikes. It ain’t rocket surgery.

How to Setup Your Bicycle

While a professional at a bike shop can be a lifesaver when it comes to proper setup, you can totally do it yourself too.

#1) Saddle Height

A “good enough” way to determine proper seat height is the heel-to-pedal method. It might help to have someone hold your bike while doing this.

Take a seat, then have one pedal go completely down in the six o’clock position. Your knee should be completely straight here when making contact to this low pedal. 

If your knee is bent, you need to increase the saddle height. If you lose contact with the pedal, lower your seat. 

#2) Saddle Angle

For the most part, you’re going to want your seat angled so it’s parallel to the ground. Try this first, then you can adjust it slightly if you find different positions more comfortable. 

#3) Handlebar Reach

While handlebar reach can be a bit more personal, in general you don’t want to strain yourself to control the bike. 

When seated, you should easily be able to reach the brakes and shifters. Your elbows should have a slight bend, not locked. Adjust your seat first, get that dialed in, then adjust the bars themselves for your ideal setting.

What Gear to Purchase for Biking

After initially purchasing a bike, there are a few other things you should consider. 

#1) Helmet – In my opinion, it is imperative to own and wear a helmet when cycling. I don’t think it should be a law that everyone has to, but I think everyone should of his own volition anyway.

What kind of helmet should you buy? Giro, Bell, and Specialized all make good helmets. Try a few on and get a bike shop’s help with how it should fit.

#2) U-Lock – One of the most awesome things about riding bikes to get places is that you don’t have to park a car. You can just ride right up to the place, lock your bike, and go inside. You will need a lock if you’d like your bike to be there when you come out, though. Read up on locking strategy here.

#3) Blinky Lights – Get yourself a good set of blinky lights for your bike. 

I like the Blackburn Flea set, but also own the Spok LED light set, and the Planet Bike Superflash rear light. All are fine choices.

Outside has the unmitigated gaul of getting dark without our consent. It’s wise to have lights in these cases, so that you can be as visible as possible on the roadway.

#4) Clippy Shoes – If you’re going to ride often, eventually it’s wise to switch to clipless pedals and shoes. If you’re worried that they’ll make you fall over, rest assured. You will definitely fall over in them at least once. It’s called a zero mile per hour fall, and it’s a rite of passage. It’s also completely worth it.

#5) Lycra – If you’re doing any amount of riding at all, I recommend getting yourself a pair of bibs. Cycling shorts are nice too (they both have a chamois) but bib shorts are the ultimate in comfort.

What to Bring on Your Bike Ride

  When setting off on a ride, carry these things: 

A spare tube

Tire levers 

A CO2 inflate 

A Master Link 

A spare cylinder of CO2

$20. 

Everything except the tube fits nicely into a little canvas bag that can slip into a center jersey pocket, which eliminates the need for a seat bag, which has a tendency to fall apart after a few hundred miles.

Don’t buy an expensive bike tool to carry on your rides. Any repair you can’t do with the above kit is a ride ender. Take a cab with the $20 instead and spend your tool budget on nice tools to keep at home if you want to wrench on your bike.

Also don’t buy a frame pump or mini pump – they don’t work well at all.  Get a floor pump for home and carry CO2 with you.

How to Ride a Bike

Turn pedals.

Don’t hit anything or fall off.

Kidding.

Here’s exactly how to ride a bike:

Let’s explain some more tips for smooth bike riding:

#1) Use your rear brake to check your speed and your front one only if you really want to stop. If you grab a handful of front brake on a modern bike it might become a catapult.

#2) Remember when I said clippy shoes were worth it? It’s because they allow you to apply power throughout the whole revolution of the pedal, and to use your whole leg and butt to apply said power. They’re awesome.

#3) Keep in mind also that it’s more efficient to spin than to mash. This means that you’ll be able to deliver more power for longer if you ride in a smaller, easier gear at higher cadence (RPM) than in a bigger, harder gear at slower cadence. Ideal cadence is said to be 90rpm or so, which is the exact tempo of Cake’s song The Distance. 

One foot should make a revolution for each beat of the song, or in other words, your foot is a quarter note. Your other foot will be offset, of course, so as a pair your feet will play eighth notes. And you didn’t even know you were a musician!

#4) Your body should be pretty much still when you’re riding. Your knees should be in line between your hip and ankle, not out as if you’re trying to climb a pole:

How to Improve Your Bike Riding Skills

Cycling is beautiful and amazing, but the best cycling is also social.

Having some friends who are into it will help keep you into it. Mind you, it is ten buh-jillion times easier to meet people who already like things you want to do than to convert people you already like into doing something new. 

So, go do your local group ride. There’s guaranteed to be a beginner one near you that runs out of a bike shop. Ask at the bike shop once you feel comfortable returning. 

Yay for socializing!

You can also check out Meetup for a riding group. 

Bike Riding Etiquette for Newbies

There’s a tendency for new riders to want to express their liberation from the metal cage of the automobile through a certain free-spirited attitude toward traffic laws.

Please don’t do this.

Whatever we do while riding in traffic will be remembered by every driver who sees us and counted either for or against cycling as a whole in that driver’s mind.

Many new riders adopted a Me-Vs-Cars attitude, and it’s always a mistake. 

Figure out what the laws regarding cyclists on the road are in your area and follow them always!  Google “bicycling laws + [ your state ]”

You’ll also have a much easier time in traffic when you ride like traffic.

It’s Time to Hit the Road (Next Steps)

Above all, remember that cycling is a fun, social activity.

Wave to other riders. Say hello to them when you pass them. They’re nice folks! Well, except “serious” roadies, of course, but only other roadies listen to them!

Okay, that’s about it for this guide.

Find a bike, wear a helmet, and get ready to roll:

If you want to continue your journey with Nerd Fitness, there are three great options for you. 

Option #1) If you want a professional coach in your pocket, who can do video form checks, provide feedback, and adjust your workouts based on the equipment you have available, check out our Online Coaching Program! 

Some of our clients are avid cyclists and their coaches design workouts around their biking schedule:

Our coaching program changes lives. Learn how!

2) Exercising at home and need a plan to follow? Have questions you need answered? Join Nerd Fitness Prime!

Nerd Fitness Prime is our premium membership program that contains at-home exercise routines, live-streamed workouts with NF Coaches, a supportive online community, group challenges, and much more! 

Learn more about Nerd Fitness Prime!

Option #3) Become part of the Rebellion! We need good people like you in our community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion.

Sign up in the box below to enlist and get our Rebel Starter Kit, which includes all of our “work out from home” guides.

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

Have fun out there, and ride safe, cycling friend!

-Steve

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A Beginner’s Guide to Biking: How to Cycle for Fitness published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

How much would Insurance be for a Porsche 924 in Britain?

How much would Insurance be for a Porsche 924 in Britain?

Hey guys, I am going to be turning 21 this August and hope to pick up a porsche 924 up. Do you know roughly how much this would cost me in terms of insurance costs? Thanks in advance! -R

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insuretips.xyz

SOURCES:

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Swipe Right For Awkwardness (FFXV FANFIC) - Ch 5

Prompto's heart was racing. He couldn't believe his luck. His sex buddy was here, in Galdin! They were supposed to meet at midnight, which was only 3 hours away. He makes a point to wear his tightest underwear and grins to himself, imagining how much the guy would have to rub and grope him just to get his dick out. Too bad it was going to be another dark tryst like last time. He didn't mind having sex in the dark and had no doubts that the guy who gave him a great time last time was hot, but he wished he knew the face behind the immense pleasure he was expecting to feel soon. Meanwhile, Noctis was in the room he rented out earlier to jack off in peace. Was was he thinking? It was already clear that it was Prompto he was going to have sex with. Shouldn't he feel shame at tricking his best friend? Noct sighs and picks up his phone, deciding that it just wasn't right taking advantage of Prompto this way. "Hey. Sorry. Tonight's not a good night. I'm sick." Moments later, a reply comes in. Noctis imagines Prompto just staring at his phone, eagerly awaiting a message from him. "Oh. Ok. Get well soon. Maybe next time..." The message was short, but Noctis could feel Prompto's disappointment. Another message appears with a beep. "Let me know when u get bk to Insomnia. Maybe I can help you sweat it out. ;)" "Sure. Tnx." Back in the room he shared with Noctis, Prompto sighs and leans back on the chair. There goes his night. He had nothing planned that evening and Luna and Cindy already left for Insomnia, telling him they had to get some work done before classes start again in two days. Noctis was still hasn't returned since that morning, and Prompto was a bit curious as to why his best friend was acting so weirdly. He has never seen Noctis so flustered. He shoots a quick text to Him, hoping he was alright. "Hey Noct. Everything ok? Haven't seen u since this morning. I'm in our room if ur looking for me. We can always talk if something's bothering u, u know? <3" Noctis reads the text over and over again. Now he's made his best friend worry. "Way to go, jerk..." Noctis tells himself. He really should get back anyway. He's been jerking off repeatedly all day while thinking of Prompto and he was spent. Maybe he could try taking Luna's advice tonight as a way of saying sorry to Prompto. He heads down to the lobby gift shop and buys some stuff, speaks with the front desk, and heads back up to Prompto. "Prom?" Noct says as he opens the door to their room, a cute bag in his hand. Prompto jumps up from the chair when he hears Noctis come in. "Hey! Where have you been? Gods, I was thinking of calling the police! "Sorry...Were you worried about me?" Noctis asks sheepishly. "What kind of a question is that? Of course I was! Especially after the way you were acting this morning. What's wrong? It's not like you to just disappear like that." Prompto sighs in relief that his best friend was not at a hospital or lying dead in a ditch somewhere. Noctis shrugs and hangs his head. "Uhm...well. I don't want to talk about it right now. Oh, here..." He hands out the bag he was hiding behind his back to Prompto. "Hope you don't hate me for bailing out on you for the day..." Prompto eyes the bag and takes it. He pulls out the contents and gasps in happiness, a hapy smile forming on his face. There were two round, fluffy chocobo plushies. One was black and the other a vibrant yellow. The black one had an absolutely bored expression on it while the yellow one had arches for eyes with it's beak open in a happy "kwek." Prompto couldn't get enough of them and had both of them in his arms. "Aw, Noct! You didn't have to! These are so cute!" Prompto chirped. Noctis smiled, happy for the change in topic. They talk about the chocobos a bit with Prompto nocticing how much the plushies looked like them. "They totally look like us! Especially the black one. It looks like you!" "No it doesn't," Noctis says with a face matching the chocobo's. "See?! It's totally you!" Prompto holds up the black chocobo beside Nocti's face. "I'm so gonna call you my chocobro from now on!" Noctis rolls his eyes, internally cringing at the term, but happy. "So this is what Luna meant," he thinks to himself. "By the way, hope you haven't eaten yet, Prom. I got something else for you in a bit." "You do?" Just then, there's a knock on the door. Noctis goes to open it, and has a few words with the man on the other side. There's a look of satisfaction on his face and he nods. He goes to Prompto, takes his hand, and pulls him out the room. "Noct, careful! Our babiiiiiiiies!" Prompto yells, the chocobo plushies still in his arms, as he's whisked away down the hall, a flight of stairs, and out onto a balcony. It's a clear night with stars twinkling above. There's a table set up for two with candles illuminating the glistening silver cutlery. Noctis guides a stunned Prompto to his chair and seats him before taking his own seat. "Pretty neat, huh?" Noctis says, a grin on his face. "Y...yeah." Prompto's blushing a little. Noctis notices how handsome his best friend looks in the candlelight and feels like he's been shot in the heart by Cupid. "I thought we should go out on a proper date while we're here." Noctis jokes, trying to lighten the mood. "All the cup noodles and junk food we eat on our regular dates in Insomnia's probably gonna make us sick eventually, so I thought this might be nice for a change." Prompto looks at Noctis with a smile. He's thinking how nice this would be if they were on an actual, serious date as a couple rather than as a joke. After all, they might as well be together since they act like boyfriends. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but he takes it as how Noctis probably intended it - a nice dinner under a night sky while overlooking the ocean...as best friends - and Prompto pushes his fantasy to the side. "Yeah, it is nice. Don't get to eat food this fancy a lot." "Maybe I should take you to my dad's once we get back to Insomnia. He's been bugging me to bring you over for dinner or something." Noctis says casually, though in reality, he has a hunch his dad wants to meet Prompto to see if he's a bad influence on him. Isn't that the same thing other fathers do when their daughters have met a guy? "Well, if he's fine with me being there, I'm down for it. Don't know how to act in front of the president of LucisCorp though." Prompto laughs nervously. "I don't want to mess up and embarrass you." "You already embarrass me enough in public, so it's cool. Besides, my dad is alright. Don't get to see him much and we haven't talked in a while, but he's ok." The food finally arrives and the boys take their time enjoying their meals and each other's company. As usual, Noctis picks out whatever vegetables there were on his plate while Prompto reaches over to take them. "How do you stay like that without even touching a single vegetable, like, ever?" Prompto asks while muching on the carrots from Noctis's plate. "Stay what? Gorgeous?" The deadpan delivery makes Prompto choke and Noctis laughs at him. "Easy Prom, it's just good genes." "Bullshit...*cough*...you don't eat veggies, you don't work out...you don't even shower often and you smell like roses!" "Hey! I took a shower!" Noctis picks up the yellow chocobo plushie and throws it playfully at Prompto. "I'm amazed you smell good even after your runs, with you dripping in sweat and everything when you get home." Prompto catches the chocobo and frowns. "Don't throw the babies around like that!" He sets the plushie down affectionately, beside the one he's already names Noct. "Y'know, I'm so lucky to have a best friend like you." "Took you a long time though. I could've been your friend earlier if you didn't avoid me all the time in elementary." "Yeah, me too. Well, at least I look much better now. Can't imagine myself looking like that while being your friend. I would've ruined your image." Prompto thinks back to the time when he was a big kid. He wasn't bullied, but he wasn't noticed either. Only Noctis noticed him, especially after they first met behind the school while he was taking pictures of the cats that roamed around the gardens. "Shut up. I wouldn't have cared about your size anyway." "Wish I knew that years ago. Besides, we were both loners, weren't we? Kept to ourselves for the longest time. At least I got another chance to meet you in high school." Noctis smiles at the fond memory. He was alone, just trying to avoid people when Prompto came along. They hit it up and have been great friends ever since. "I guess the gods wanted us to be friends, huh?" "Yeah...Oh, Noct! Look!" Prompto points at the sky excitedly and Noctis turns. A bright light was slowly streaking through the sky - a shooting star. "Quick, Noct! Make a wish!" "You make a wish! You saw it first!" Noct retorts. "Look, let's just wish together and hope they both come true." "Fine." The boys make their wishes and watch the light disappear. "Hope that star carried both of 'em." "Yeah...so, what did you wish for?" Noctis crosses his arms. "Not telling, but I have a feeling you'll tell me yours anyway." "Well, you're right about that..." Prompto shurgs. "I wished for love. There's someone I really like, but they don't know it. I don't know if they'll feel the same way, so I hope that when I actually get the guts to say it, it'll be a success...hahaha. So yeah, that's my dumb wish." "You like someone?" Noctis feels like his heart just shattered. "How come you've never told me?" "It's..It's complicated." Prompto laughs nervously. "Besides, you'd be the first to know when I do decide to make a move." Noct stays silent while looking at Prompto. Prompto likes someone? Another guy maybe? Someone he's met somewhere? Who? When? "Oh, dessert! Look, Noct! It's amazing!" Noctis frees himself from his stunned thoughts and just smiles. They finish their desserts and chat a bit more. Noctis tries to discreetly get more information from Prompto about the mystery love interest, but gets nothing. Afterwards, Noctis excuses himself and tells Prompto he just has to settle the bill. "Alright. Hey, thaks for the great dinner, chocobro." Prompto playfully nudges Noctis' shoulder and heads back to their room, his "chocobabies" in his arm. He enters their room and sits on the bed, full and happy. He puts the plushies in front of him and talks to them. "Y'know, Noct probably doesn't know, but I just had the most romantic date ever. You think he took the hint? I didn't want to say it straight to his face, though." The fluffy plushies look back at him silently. "Don't just stare! It took a lot of courage to say that!" Prompto sighs, takes the chocobos in his arm, and lies down. "I really do wish I get the courage to tell Noct I want to be with him..." he whispers before slowly falling asleep. Noctis pays the bill for the dinner and goes to his other room. He rented it out earlier to have anonymous, hot sex with Prompto as the mysterious dude who liked sex in the dark, but tonight, sex wasn't even on Noctis' mind. He feels like Prompto just stabbed him with that revelation over dinner. His best friend was in love with someone and he didn't even realize anything. Was he just that oblivious? Noctis goes to the bathroom to splash water on his face when he realizes he has tears in his eyes when he sees himself in the mirror. "Prom..." he says, before letting the tears flow freely. He was too late and he hated himself for being so aloof to know anything. The dinner they just had...he made it happen for Prompto in the hopes it would make it easier for him to say "I want to be with you." All that's pretty much useless now. Noctis leans against the wall and slides down to the floor, crying quietly, his arms around his legs and his forehead on his knees. He had never felt so emotionally broken in a long time and it hurt. It really hurt. Noctis returns to the room he shared with Prompto, eyes still red. He silently enters and shuts the door quietly, hoping Prompto was asleep. When he hears his best friend's gentle snoring, he sighs in relief. He changes into something more comfortable and starts to get into his bed, when he looks at Prompto sleeping peacefully with the plushies he bought him squished between his forearm and bicep. Noctis swallows nervously and decides to sleep with Prompto instead. He slips into bed beside his best friend carefully so he wouldn't wake him and wraps an arm around Prompto. "I love you, Prom...but if you're happy with someone else, I'll just be a good friend and suck it up." Noctis whispers. He kisses Prompto on the neck and closes his eyes, his broken heart still sobbing in his chest.

A Beginner’s Guide to Biking: How to Cycle for Fitness

Let’s get you up and rolling on a bicycle! 

Whether you’re using it for exercise or transportation, biking is a great way to stay active and explore the world around you.

That’s why we encourage it in our Online Coaching Program when we discuss fun exercises! 

Want to train in a way that doesn’t suck? Learn more about NF Coaching!

Here’s what we’ll cover in today’s guide:

What are the benefits of cycling?

The 6 different types of cyclists

How to buy a bike

How to set up your bicycle

What gear to purchase for biking

What to bring on your bike ride

How to ride a bike

How to improve your bike riding skills

Bike riding etiquette for newbies

It’s time to hit the road (Next steps)

Let’s roll!

What Are the Benefits of Cycling?

There are a lot of excellent reasons to take up riding bikes:

It’s a great and healthy way to move from point A to point B.

It’s free – no gas to put in, no parking spaces to pay for.

It’s low impact on your body. There are no jarring-impact moments like with running.

It’s a great place to start with exercise. Sit on bike. Pedal. Done.

It’s fun!

Cycling has a magical ability to be whatever the rider wants it to be. 

Fun, challenging, scary, romantic, social, silly… you name it and there’s a type of cycling for it. You can even change what type you are doing to suit your mood on any given day, which is why most avid cyclists end up with several different bikes.

Some Rebels in the NF Coaching Program have even used cycling as a tool to help them get in shape, as demonstrated by Kyle here:

Note: Kyle also switched up his diet for his result.

The world can use more cyclists, so I’m stoked you’re interested in getting started. 

The 6 Different Types of Cyclists

Let’s spend a few minutes thinking about what type of rider you’d like to be.

The below list is not mutually exclusive, mind you. You can flip back and forth, contradict yourself, or mix and match them to suit your own needs.

#1) Mountain Biker

No one loves the outdoors as much as these guys do. If you’d rather ditch the pavement for a trail, mountain biking may be for you.

#2) Roadie

As the name would suggest, these riders are going to be found pedaling down your street. They often wear bright colors to make them easily seen by commuters. If you go this route, you can pretend like you have a sweet superhero costume to wear!

You can take this idea too far. 

 #3) Track 

Track cycling is a racing sport where riders zoom around a velodrome. If you’re a beginner, this is probably too advanced for you, but something to think about as you gain more cycling experience. 

#4) Triathlete

A triathlon is a multisport race where participants run, swim, and bike their way to the finish line. They’re not a bad event to train for since you have to condition yourself for a few different sports.

There are many triathlon events designed for beginners, some of which you can check out right here. 

#5) BMXer

Generally when people do lots of tricks on their bike, it’s a BMX bike. 

BMX is an abbreviation for bicycle motocross or bike motocross and were originally modeled after dirtbikes (minus the engine). They’re popular with kids, but also good for adults who are looking to perform a stunt or two. 

#6) Casual Rider

This is, in my opinion, the easiest way to get started.Just do whatever you want to on a bike and enjoy yourself in the process. 

Sounds simple, right? It is!

How to Buy a Bike

Truth be told, the best bike for you to buy is whatever one you like the best.

I think it’s wise to get a bike shop’s help in buying a bike that fits you. Even though you can adjust your bicycle to fit (more on this next section), it could still be potentially too large or small. Here’s how to find a bike shop in your area.

If you are going to select a bike on your own, you’ll want to consider its height:

If the bike has a horizontal tube, you should have about one to two-inch clearance from your crotch to the top tube, when standing over the bike.

If the bike has a sloping top tube, you’ll want at least two-inch clearance.

Shown here from REI’s guide to bike fitting:

Now, bikes do cost money. Expect to spend a few hundred bucks minimum at your bike shop. You don’t have to spend thousands, but you’ll have more fun on a decent bike than a heavy, crappy one from a department store.

If you must buy as cheaply as possible, in my opinion, most people are best served with a steel-framed 80’s road bike. They’re cheap, nearly indestructible, and easy to find on Craigslist.

Don’t be afraid to make counter offers and haggle a bit. 

You can also search the bike on Bicycle Blue Book to make sure you’re getting a fair deal. 

If you do buy a used road bike, steer away from 27” wheels, since 26” have become standard and will be easier to replace.  

Lots of people get mountain bikes for their first bike, and I think it’s a mistake unless you plan on riding through dirt. They are heavy and slow because they’re meant for trail riding on mountains. There’s also a cheaper bike option called bikesdirect.com. They sell off-brand frames with name brand components, and seem to have good customer service. Remember: get the bike you like. If you like it you’ll ride it. Keep that in mind as you’re reading the flame wars and conflicting advice. After all, it’s just bikes. It ain’t rocket surgery.

How to Setup Your Bicycle

While a professional at a bike shop can be a lifesaver when it comes to proper setup, you can totally do it yourself too.

#1) Saddle Height

A “good enough” way to determine proper seat height is the heel-to-pedal method. It might help to have someone hold your bike while doing this.

Take a seat, then have one pedal go completely down in the six o’clock position. Your knee should be completely straight here when making contact to this low pedal. 

If your knee is bent, you need to increase the saddle height. If you lose contact with the pedal, lower your seat. 

#2) Saddle Angle

For the most part, you’re going to want your seat angled so it’s parallel to the ground. Try this first, then you can adjust it slightly if you find different positions more comfortable. 

#3) Handlebar Reach

While handlebar reach can be a bit more personal, in general you don’t want to strain yourself to control the bike. 

When seated, you should easily be able to reach the brakes and shifters. Your elbows should have a slight bend, not locked. Adjust your seat first, get that dialed in, then adjust the bars themselves for your ideal setting.

What Gear to Purchase for Biking

After initially purchasing a bike, there are a few other things you should consider. 

#1) Helmet – In my opinion, it is imperative to own and wear a helmet when cycling. I don’t think it should be a law that everyone has to, but I think everyone should of his own volition anyway.

What kind of helmet should you buy? Giro, Bell, and Specialized all make good helmets. Try a few on and get a bike shop’s help with how it should fit.

#2) U-Lock – One of the most awesome things about riding bikes to get places is that you don’t have to park a car. You can just ride right up to the place, lock your bike, and go inside. You will need a lock if you’d like your bike to be there when you come out, though. Read up on locking strategy here.

#3) Blinky Lights – Get yourself a good set of blinky lights for your bike. 

I like the Blackburn Flea set, but also own the Spok LED light set, and the Planet Bike Superflash rear light. All are fine choices.

Outside has the unmitigated gaul of getting dark without our consent. It’s wise to have lights in these cases, so that you can be as visible as possible on the roadway.

#4) Clippy Shoes – If you’re going to ride often, eventually it’s wise to switch to clipless pedals and shoes. If you’re worried that they’ll make you fall over, rest assured. You will definitely fall over in them at least once. It’s called a zero mile per hour fall, and it’s a rite of passage. It’s also completely worth it.

#5) Lycra – If you’re doing any amount of riding at all, I recommend getting yourself a pair of bibs. Cycling shorts are nice too (they both have a chamois) but bib shorts are the ultimate in comfort.

What to Bring on Your Bike Ride

  When setting off on a ride, carry these things: 

A spare tube

Tire levers 

A CO2 inflate 

A Master Link 

A spare cylinder of CO2

$20. 

Everything except the tube fits nicely into a little canvas bag that can slip into a center jersey pocket, which eliminates the need for a seat bag, which has a tendency to fall apart after a few hundred miles.

Don’t buy an expensive bike tool to carry on your rides. Any repair you can’t do with the above kit is a ride ender. Take a cab with the $20 instead and spend your tool budget on nice tools to keep at home if you want to wrench on your bike.

Also don’t buy a frame pump or mini pump – they don’t work well at all.  Get a floor pump for home and carry CO2 with you.

How to Ride a Bike

Turn pedals.

Don’t hit anything or fall off.

Kidding.

Here’s exactly how to ride a bike:

Let’s explain some more tips for smooth bike riding:

#1) Use your rear brake to check your speed and your front one only if you really want to stop. If you grab a handful of front brake on a modern bike it might become a catapult.

#2) Remember when I said clippy shoes were worth it? It’s because they allow you to apply power throughout the whole revolution of the pedal, and to use your whole leg and butt to apply said power. They’re awesome.

#3) Keep in mind also that it’s more efficient to spin than to mash. This means that you’ll be able to deliver more power for longer if you ride in a smaller, easier gear at higher cadence (RPM) than in a bigger, harder gear at slower cadence. Ideal cadence is said to be 90rpm or so, which is the exact tempo of Cake’s song The Distance. 

One foot should make a revolution for each beat of the song, or in other words, your foot is a quarter note. Your other foot will be offset, of course, so as a pair your feet will play eighth notes. And you didn’t even know you were a musician!

#4) Your body should be pretty much still when you’re riding. Your knees should be in line between your hip and ankle, not out as if you’re trying to climb a pole:

How to Improve Your Bike Riding Skills

Cycling is beautiful and amazing, but the best cycling is also social.

Having some friends who are into it will help keep you into it. Mind you, it is ten buh-jillion times easier to meet people who already like things you want to do than to convert people you already like into doing something new. 

So, go do your local group ride. There’s guaranteed to be a beginner one near you that runs out of a bike shop. Ask at the bike shop once you feel comfortable returning. 

Yay for socializing!

You can also check out Meetup for a riding group. 

Bike Riding Etiquette for Newbies

There’s a tendency for new riders to want to express their liberation from the metal cage of the automobile through a certain free-spirited attitude toward traffic laws.

Please don’t do this.

Whatever we do while riding in traffic will be remembered by every driver who sees us and counted either for or against cycling as a whole in that driver’s mind.

Many new riders adopted a Me-Vs-Cars attitude, and it’s always a mistake. 

Figure out what the laws regarding cyclists on the road are in your area and follow them always!  Google “bicycling laws + [ your state ]”

You’ll also have a much easier time in traffic when you ride like traffic.

It’s Time to Hit the Road (Next Steps)

Above all, remember that cycling is a fun, social activity.

Wave to other riders. Say hello to them when you pass them. They’re nice folks! Well, except “serious” roadies, of course, but only other roadies listen to them!

Okay, that’s about it for this guide.

Find a bike, wear a helmet, and get ready to roll:

If you want to continue your journey with Nerd Fitness, there are three great options for you. 

Option #1) If you want a professional coach in your pocket, who can do video form checks, provide feedback, and adjust your workouts based on the equipment you have available, check out our Online Coaching Program! 

Some of our clients are avid cyclists and their coaches design workouts around their biking schedule:

Our coaching program changes lives. Learn how!

2) Exercising at home and need a plan to follow? Have questions you need answered? Join Nerd Fitness Prime!

Nerd Fitness Prime is our premium membership program that contains at-home exercise routines, live-streamed workouts with NF Coaches, a supportive online community, group challenges, and much more! 

Learn more about Nerd Fitness Prime!

Option #3) Become part of the Rebellion! We need good people like you in our community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion.

Sign up in the box below to enlist and get our Rebel Starter Kit, which includes all of our “work out from home” guides.

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The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

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Have fun out there, and ride safe, cycling friend!

-Steve

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A Beginner’s Guide to Biking: How to Cycle for Fitness published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/