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avoxrising · 5 months

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The Feral One • Ch 20

Finnick x Y/N

Series Masterlist Link

I promise we will get into the timer stuff soon but I have to build up the plot first…

Content Warnings - None!

You wake up to Finnick gone, a note left on his pillow.

Got called into training early. Didn’t want to disturb you. I’ll see you at lunch.

Love,

Your fake husband

Why was he in training so early? He said yesterday that his training wouldn’t start till after breakfast.

Maybe he was upset by what happened last night. Maybe he didn’t enjoy it.

You let your thoughts consume you as you lay in bed, completely skipping breakfast and most of your morning schedule.

A knock on your door pulls you from your thoughts.

“Come in,” you sigh to whoever was waiting. You’re surprised to see Boggs enter.

“Miss Y/L/N, do I need to remind you that you have a schedule to follow?” he asks.

“No,” you yawn. “I’m sorry I lost track of time. What time is it anyways?”

“10:34 AM,” Boggs states. “I’ve been instructed to escort you to your doctor’s checkup, which you are very late to.”

Boggs gives you a minute to dress before he’s escorting you to the hospital. He says Coin isn’t happy that you are already disregarding your schedule and is rethinking your living arrangement.

Prim performs your checkup that morning. She clears you for the day and you make your way to the cafeteria to help with lunch prep.

11:30 rolls around and you finally have a chance to see Finnick. Twelve hours felt too long and you were anxious to face him again. He was sometimes hard to read.

“Hey love,” he says as you sit down next to him with your tray. “How was your morning?”

“Meh,” you shrug. “I got reprimanded by Boggs for not following my schedule. I guess that was a serious rule.”

“Sorry about this morning,” Finnick states. “I would have woken you up when they buzzed for me but you look like you needed the sleep.”

“That’s ok,” you sigh, thinking about how sad you were that he wasn’t there when you woke. “Why did they increase your training?”

“Katniss snuck onto a transport that left late last night for District 2,” he explains. “They’re moving up our deployment timeline.”

“Deployment?” you ask, setting your fork down. “You didn’t tell me they were sending you anywhere.”

“Can we talk about this tonight?” he replies.

“I’m not hungry,” you state, abruptly standing with your tray. Finnick calls out for you as you walk away, needing to escape for a bit.

You end up back at the hospital to talk to Prim.

“Could I get an excuse for the rest of the day?” you ask her. “I’m not feeling well.”

“Oh no! Do you need medicine? What’s not feeling well?” she asks.

“I’ve just had a bad day that’s all,” you shake your head. “I can’t mentally handle a schedule today.”

“Why don’t you go chat with Dr. Aurelius for a bit,” Prim suggests. “He’s available now if you want to see him.”

You had never been in therapy before. Dr. Aurelius seemed nice but you didn’t know if you could trust him. What do therapists even do?

“Nice to meet you Miss Y/L/N,” the man states as he enter the room. “I’m Dr. Aurelius. Why don’t we start with how you’re feeling today?”

“Sad,” you reply, unsure of how to properly convey your emotions.

“Do you know why you feel sad?” he asks. “Or what made you feel this way?”

“District 13 makes me sad,” you state as the man writes something down in his notebook. “I have no autonomy here.”

“They allowed you to get married,” he remarks. “Are you happy about that?”

“Meh,” you shrug. “I mean I love Finnick but it was a fake wedding for a propo that we agreed to do so we could be roommates here in 13. He’s lived with me for 5 years now. I skipped my schedule this morning and Coin is already threatening to make us live separately again.”

“I see,” the man comments. “Do you find schedules restricting?”

“I guess I do,” you respond. “I mean I’ve spent my whole adult life on house arrest so I’ve never really been able to make decisions for myself. Having a schedule feels like someone is telling me what to do all the time.”

“That’s understandable,” he comments. “I can excuse you from your schedule for today but you will need to find a compromise with President Coin. I will provide you with a list of options for your schedule so you can maybe pick out what you want to do. I apologize that the list is limited but it’s the best I can do.”

You take the list and agree to meet with him and Coin in the morning to discuss your schedule. In the mean time he gives you a “mentally unstable” bracelet to excuse you for the rest of the day.

The list seems meh. You had no interest in learning about nuclear weapons or the history of Panem, and cafeteria duty wasn’t necessarily your favorite.

Reflection time rolled around and Finnick enters your shared cabin.

“You skipped dinner,” he comments as he throws you an apple. You reluctantly take it and eat a bit to ease his worry.

“You skipped out on telling me about deployment,” you mutter.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he moves to sit next to you. “I just didn’t feel like there was a good time to tell you. I was going to tell you before the wedding but you had your breakdown and I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Where are they sending you?” you ask.

“The capital,” he responds. At this answer you burst into tears.

“You can’t leave me,” you sob. Finnick wishes he could pull you into a hug but he knows better than to touch you when you’re upset.

“It will only be for two weeks,” he states. “Three at most.”

“What if you don’t come back?” you hiccup.

“I’ll always come back for you,” he replies.

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#hunger games #finnick odair #hunger games fic #the hunger games #finnick odair x reader #finnick x reader #finnick angst #finnick #finnick odair angst #hunger games x reader #hunger games fanfiction #hunger games angst #mockingjay #the feral one

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the-goldenbunny-diaries · 9 months

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Masseuse (M)

⚢ Pairing - Nayeon x Reader

✎ Word Count - 2.7k

☆ Genre - Smut

♡ Description - After being yelled at by your boss, you look for a source of release, deciding to make an appointment with a masseuse for a bit of stress relief. (A/N: This isn’t proofread so I apologize if there are typos.)

★・・・・・・★

"Really, Y/N! I can't believe you actually did that! Such a rookie mistake," Your boss shook his head, ridiculing you. You work at Sapphire Business Company, a division under Gem Industries. Sapphire works specifically with the customer support side of Gem. Unfortunately, you were caught up with her newest task: training a newbie, Tzuyu, who didn't know how to code a lost and replaced item properly. You were called into her boss's office because Tzuyu coded it as just a lost item that had not been replaced yet. So, returning to the present, your boss is yelling at you, blaming you for Tzuyu’s mistake.

"I really expected more from you. You've been working here for over 4 years now, Y/N. You should know better," He scorned. You tried your best to explain to him that it wasn't your fault, that it was your new coworker's mistake, but he wouldn't listen to you. You just had to sit back and listen to him blame you for something you didn't do.

"Y/N, you're now on probation starting now. You're not going to come into work tomorrow, nor for the rest of the week, and you're certainly not going to get paid for it either. Maybe you'll learn that you need to make sure everything is right before you send it in." You looked at your boss with an utterly shocked face, freezing in place. “You may leave now.” He spoke sternly before you politely bowed and walked out of his office. As soon as she left, however, you silently cursed him out.

“How could he blame me for something that Tzuyu did?” You thought to yourself. You felt a strange feeling coursing through your body, almost as if every muscle was tightening due to the stress that your boss just caused you. After a few minutes of this, it was almost painful to move due to how tight your muscles had become. It was an experience you’d never felt before and was certainly not one you would wish on your worst enemy.

You sighed as you finally sat down in your car, slightly relieving the pain in your body. "Shit, I've gotta fix this somehow. I’m not going to be able to do anything like this."

★・・・・・・★

Driving down the road seemed to calm you some, but even the soothing music couldn't help the tenseness inside your muscles. When you pulled up to a red light, you quickly grabbed your phone and looked up local massage places. The closest one with the highest reviews was Ciao Bella. You laughed at the name, which meant “Hello Beautiful” in Italian. Since the spa had the best reviews, you decided to give them a call. You rang the number as you continued to drive. After a few rings, a young female picked up.

"Hello. This is Ciao Bella Spa. This is Nayeon. How can I assist you today?" She said.

"Uhh, hi. I'm looking to schedule a massage for this afternoon." you almost stuttered. The voice that spoke to her over the phone was alluring and made her want to simply listen.

"Of course. Let me pull up the schedule for you." You heard some clicking before the woman spoke again. "Alright, so are you a first-time customer?" Nayeon asked.

"Y-yes." you almost died when she heard Nayeon’s little giggle over the phone.

"You're so cute. So, we have two massage therapists in today; one being myself and one being Sana. We're both pretty good, but I normally start with new clients." Nayeon explained.

"O-okay sure. What time are you a-available?" You asked, your voice continuing to fail you.

"I'm open anytime after 2." She said. You glanced down at my Apple watch and saw it was 1:47. You thought for a moment before speaking.

"Can I come in around 2:30? That gives me time to get from work over to you?" You responded, finally being able to speak without stuttering or pausing.

"Of course, I'll see you then---." Nayeon’s voice trailed off as if she was waiting for you to finish her sentence. You gasped as she totally forgot to give Nayeon her name.

"Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. I forgot to give you my name. I'm Y/L/N Y/F/N." she said.

"Alright, Y/N. You're in the books. I'll see you soon!" you smiled before you said goodbye and hung up. When you set your phone down, you looked in your rearview mirror and noticed that your cheeks were covered in a light pink hue.

"Why am I blushing," you asked yourself.

★・・・・・・★

You pulled up to Ciao Bella Spa a few minutes before you appointment, so you decided to go in a look around. As you entered the building, you immediately noticed that the whole spa was very modernized. You really liked the way it looked, and you instantly felt comfortable. As you slowly walked around, looking at all of the products laid out in the front of the store, a young woman walked around the corner and came up to you.

"You must be Y/N. I'm Nayeon." She smiled a gummy smile as she extended her hand out to you.

"Pleasure to meet you, Nayeon." You returned the smile and shook her hand.

Nayeon gestured to you to follow her over to the front counter. As she went around the back, she grabbed her a piece of paper and a clipboard. "If I could just have you fill this out for me real quick just so I can get a general idea of what you need." you nodded and sat down in one of the chairs in the main lobby. To sum up the form, it asked where her pain was, which right now was everywhere. You chuckled to yourself as uou filled it out and couldn't wait to see Nayeon's reaction.

Once you finished, you walked back up to the counter and gave the paper to Nayeon. She smiled before she skimmed over it. She gave you a funny look before she spoke.

"You hurt everywhere?" Nayeon laughed.

"Yup," you spoke, popping the P at the end. "Work stresses me out."

"Girl, same!" She smiled, and you both laughed. "Alright alright, let get you into the room and get you de-stressed." You followed her down a nice hallway and into a room with a sign above it that said: Venice. The room was extremely nice and was very calming. The lights were dimmed and there was a small water feature hanging on the far wall. Yiou looked around for a second before turning back to Nayeon.

"So, I'm going to leave you for a second. Just undress as much as you feel comfortable doing and hop on the table face up." Nayeon smiled before she left the room. You quickly took off her clothes until you was just in your underwear and climbed under the sheets on the table. She was surprised to feel that the table was warmed. You shifted around a few times until you were comfortable and closed you eyes. As you took a couple of deep breaths, you listened to the flowing water fountain. You was so relaxed that you almost dozed off until a knock on the door brought you back to Earth.

"You ready?" You heard Nayeon call from the other side of the door.

"Yes ma’am," you said as she opened the door.

"Y/N, I'm probably only a year or two older than you. You don't have to call me ma'am." She dimmed the lights further then walked over to the side of the table. She pulled out a couple of tools and oils before she sat in a rolling chair behind you.

"So, I want you to take a deep breath and close your eyes," Nayeon spoke in a very soothing tone. You did as she said as Nayeon started the massage. There’s two things you noticed immediately: 1) she was very good at what she does and 2) her hands were massive. You sighed as Nayeon’s fingers rubbed your temples, already relieving some of the tension. As she continued, she gave your head a massage, which caused a ton of chills to run down your body. Then, Nayeon moved to your upper body. She grabbed some of her massage oil, put it on her hands, and started to move them along your neck and shoulders. You internally laughed at the number of knots she felt Nayeon start to rub out. Her hands seemed to cover your entire shoulder and she continued massaging. As Nayeon finally rubbed out one of the bigger ones, you accidentally let out a sound that was similar to a moan.

You felt Nayeon pause for a moment before continuing to massage your neck. "You okay? Am I going too hard?" She asked you.

"N-no no, you're f-fine." You said, gripping the sheets underneath you and trying your best to keep in the sounds you desperately wanted to make as Nayeon continued to get the knots out of your neck. Everything she did just felt so pleasurable, especially with her massive hands, and sent shivers through your entire body. Nayeon must have been able to tell because, at that moment, your eyes went wide as you felt a pair of lips on her shoulder. At first, they were light pecks but soon turned into little kisses and nibbles. You couldn't hold back anymore and let out a moan. It wasn't loud, for you were trying to be quiet, but Nayeon definitely heard it.

"You like that, princess?" Nayeon spoke in a sultry tone, the pet name making everything hotter. All you could do was nod, for no words would come out of your mouth. Nayeon found your sweet spot, and you felt her smirk on her neck when she bit down on it, causing you to moan a little louder. "Shhhh." she cooed. "You've got to stay quiet."

You nodded again as you bit your lip, trying your best to hold back the sounds that fought to come out of your mouth. You watched as Nayeon got up from her chair and came around the table so that she was on your right side. Nayeon grabbed the sheet and folded it over so that your upper body was now exposed. You shivered as the cold air hit your skin, but that was quickly forgotten as Nayeon started to run her fingers across your chest. She started just below your collarbone and worked her way down towards your breasts. Heat instantly filled your cold body when her hands pinched your nipples, causing you to gasp. Your back arched into Nayeon’s touch as she continued to play around, teasing you like crazy.

At this point, you knew your underwear was soaked through. There was no way they weren't. If you was being honest with yourself, you was probably dripping onto the table. You tried to squeeze your thighs together to relieve some of the growing pressure between your legs. However, Nayeon wouldn't allow it. She removed one of her hands from your breast and use it to push your legs apart again, making you whine slightly.

"Patience is a virtue, baby girl." Nayeon husked. That alone turned you on even more. Your hands had not once moved from grasping the sheets, for you needed something to help with the building in your core. Continuing with what she started, Nayeon moved her hand back to your breast, making sure they were thoroughly massaged and your nipples were standing tall. Once they were, she slowly moved her hands south toward where you needed them most. However, she was going at a snail’s pace just to tease you more.

"N-Nayeon...." you moaned. "I--"

Nayeon just smirked as her hands reached the hem of your underwear. You quietly thanked the Lord above for not putting on granny panties. Nayeon grabbed the waistline, pulling them up slightly before letting it go, letting it snap against your skin. When a whine came out of your mouth, Nayeon ripped the rest of the sheet off your body, leaving you fully exposed, except for your underwear. Although, that didn't last long.

"Baby.... is this all for me?" She asked as she ran a long finger across your covered slit, feeling all your juices that soaked the fabric.

"Y-yes." you stuttered. "All for y-you."

Nayeon smiled smugly as she leaned down and grabbed your underwear with her teeth, pulling them down slowly, before discarding them to the side of the room and returning to her spot between your legs. You moaned just at the sight. The way Nayeon’s lustful eyes sparkled up at you almost had you cumming then and there. Her large bands started to caress your upper thighs and before long, you felt Nayeon’s tongue run a straight line up your now exposed slit, causing you to throw a hand over your mouth, muting a loud moan.

Nayeon expertly moved her tongue around in a figure-8 shape, causing you to lose your mind. You moved one of your hands from the sheet and laced it through Nayeon’s hair, pushing her head closer to your core. The pleasure got more intense, however, when her right hand moved from your thigh to your clit. If you weren’t already putty in this woman’s hands, you knew you were done for. As soon as Nayeon applied pressure, you had to bite down on your hand not to scream out Nayeon’s name. The amount of pleasure you were receiving was indescribable.

"P-please Nayeon" you whisper-yelled at her.

"You're not allowed to cum until I tell you, sweetheart. It'll be better in the end." Nayeon said as she continued to eat you out. You could almost feel the smirk against you as your back continued to arch and moans continued to spill out of your mouth.

"Play with your breasts, Y/N." She commanded before her fingers and her tongue switched places. You moved your left hand that had been white from gripping the sheet so hard to your left breast, kneading it as Nayeon had done before, although your hands were not as big as hers. Nayeon's tongue began to flick against your clit as her fingers started to poke and prod at your entrance, making you start to beg for her.

"N-Nayeon please." You never thought that you would stoop low enough to beg for something, but here you were and you didn't regret it. When you spoke, Nayeon slowly moved two long fingers into you, letting you get used to them before she started to pump them in and out. Once you got used to the speed, you started to move your hips in rhythm with Nayeon’s fingers. Within a couple of minutes, you could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, your core clenching around her fingers.

"I-I'm close, Nayeon." You moaned.

"Not yet." She smirked.

You whined as Nayeon pumped her long fingers quicker, making it a lot harder to hold in your impending orgasm.

"P-please Nayeon. I d-don't think I can h-hold it in anymore." You begged again.

"Cum for me, princess." You almost yelled as Nayeon said those words, finally feeling the release you'd been wanting. Your legs shook violently as your hips bucked against Nayeon’s fingers. She made sure she didn't let any of your cum go to waste, swallowing it all. Your whole body trembled as Nayeon started to slow down her fingers and her tongue, letting you come down from your high. You laid there panting as Nayeon grabbed the sheet again, laying it on top of you.

"How do you feel?" Nayeon asked you, a slight smirk visible on her face,

"Better. More relaxed." You breathed out, still out of breath from the mind-blowing orgasm that happened mere minutes ago.

"Glad I could help. I'll leave you to get dressed." Nayeon smiled as she left the room.

★・・・・・・★

As you went to get off the table, your legs gave out from underneath you, causing you to grab onto the table for stability. You quietly laughed at yourself. "She really did me good, didn't she?" As you get dressed, you glanced under the sheet Nayeon had placed on you and notice the dark spot where your cum had seeped onto the sheets. You’d have to apologize for the mess. As walked out of the room and went back into the main lobby, you saw Nayeon standing behind the counter with a bottle of water in her hand.

"Here, thought you might need this. Your throat might be dry from all that moaning." She whispered the last part, laughing as she saw the blush that crept onto your face.

"T-thanks. I’m sorry about the -uh- mess in there" you smiled shyly at her.

Nayeon smirked before opening the computer. "It’s no problem. I’ll keep them for your next visit.” You gasped while she just giggled and continued. “Speaking of which, when would you like to set up your next appointment?"

#kpopidol #kpop imagines #kpop gg #kpop #nayeon #twice nayeon #smut #twice smut #nayeon x reader #twice x reader #kpop smut

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void-galaxy-shenanigans · 4 months

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This is the second time our temp therapist cancelled on us.

For reference, the therapist we've been seeing was an intern who just graduated. December they did grad stuff & then had to reapply & do onboarding again. That means we had to see another intern in the meantime. We'll just use initials for privacy so let's call normal therapist K and temp therapist C.

C (she/her) is amazing at helping with depression, when she shows up. She has a lot of training on how depression is actually a trauma disorder and blew our mind when she changed our perspective on why depression does what it does. It's something one of our littles brought up in less sophisticated words. That's something for another post.

K (¿they/she? we're pretty sure & gonna ask when we get the chance) is amazing at helping us process trauma, and is extremely knowledgeable about ADHD and autism. They've been amazing at helping us realize when our disabilities are disabling us. They've also been very open to learning about D.I.D. to help us with it.

C was arranged to check in every week since mid December while K is unable to. The first check in was a phone call— totally fine, & they called us out 10mins in (“you laugh when you're uncomfortable or stressed. it's laugh or cry, ¿right?”). So we arranged an in person appointment (because the house we're in isn't safe so we prefer in person) & went to that one & it went well.

But the past 2 weeks C has called out sick, and we had to call and reschedule, but they're only available Wednesday & Thursday so we keep having to reschedule for Wed.

The problem with that is, we really really need therapy. Depression is at its worst in a while, and C-PTSD is back with a vengeance, and we're having relationship communication needs that we wanna run past a therapist, and...we just really need the fuckin appointments.

To be clear, I'm not angry at C for being sick. I'm upset because our therapy office *has other therapists*. They could assign someone else so we can get the help, and instead they called at 8am like ‘C is out of the office, call her office to reschedule’.

I decided to instead ask if K is back in the office & available. They were supposed to be available by early January. The front desk said they didn't know & sent me to the scheduling department, who didn't pick up. I left message to call me back.

Worst case scenario I have an appointment today to get medication (for ADHD & depression, hopefully) so I'll be physically in the office by 11am & can ask them then if K is back. But also. What the heck. :/

I was actually more worried it was the meds appointment being cancelled, which I had to schedule 2.5 months out. Therapy can be scheduled for the next week. But with the worry of not getting meds gone I'm still frustrated at the office for not being more considerate or helpful when I asked for other options.

I didn't get therapy just because; I really badly need it & not having an appointment every week is making me lose my mind. I have so much to unpack. It's not even that my routine is disrupted anymore. I just need someone professional to talk to before I explode, which was the point I got to before they assigned C (because 2 weeks without therapy does this to us; I'm overflowing and super not okay).

This is mostly just to get the swirling thoughts out of my system. I need to put it somewhere.

~Nico (he/they)

#vent #personal #~nico #trauma #therapy

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moonlit-positivity · 1 year

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How to find the right therapist for you

Starting therapy can be an intimidating process for many reasons. Trauma survivors already have a hard time opening up & trusting people as it is. We are also still fighting against so much stigma around therapy & mental health itself. When I was growing up, therapy was seen as a punishment or a way to get you locked up in the psych wards & have your freedom stripped away from you. And today, the long standing stigma around mental illnesses & personality disorders does not help either. But we have come a long way. There ARE therapists out there who are fighting tooth and nail against the stigma, against the socio-economical boundaries, against the race, gender, sexuality, health, and mental boundaries that separate us all as individuals. Hopefully this can help you find the right therapist for you.

Psychologytoday. org has a list of therapists in ur area & you can read their bios so you can see what they treat & specialize in, you can pick some to call & schedule a preliminary meeting before you decide for sure which one to go to. You can also filter payment options on this site to see which ones take insurance & stuff.

ask them questions. It is perfectly fine & acceptable to ask them interview questions on the first meeting, or even down the road. Good therapists will encourage this too. But like, it's okay to ask them things like: how many years have you practiced? What are your qualifications? How many patients with X have you treated? Are you qualified to diagnose Y? What are your views on suicidal thoughts/self harm? When would you intervene with hospitalization? How do you treat patients who experience XYZ? Etc. These questions will give you a lot of insight on how they work.

It is okay to leave a therapist or request a new one. Ppl do this all the time. You do not have to stay w/one therapist just bc you feel like you need therapy & don't want to give up. If they aren't vibing w/ you, you don't have to stay. In fact it's a good idea to bounce the minute you feel like it's not gonna work out that way u save time & money, & put that time into finding a better fit for you. There is nothing wrong with quitting. It doesn't mean you won't ever heal. It doesn't mean you won't ever try again. It just means the situation right now is not working and you need to stop.

No two therapists are the same. Therapy isn't a one size fits all approach. There are many types of therapy too- many therapists can have specialized approaches, ie trauma informed therapy, sexual assault, queer/lgbtqia+, race related trauma, asian mental health, etc. It can be beneficial to spend some time considering what exactly it is you're wanting to focus on, and what kind of therapists you'd like to be sitting across from you to handle your life & vulnerabilities. Therapy in itself should always be a process of self exploration. Boundaries, self esteem, self worth, and venting about our problems so we can gain introspection in our daily lives. So keep in mind that there are different options available.

Some therapists will give you homework, others would never do that in a million years. Some might encourage EMDR, DBT, etc; while others might not have the capability of offering those kinds of services (usually due to the company they work for). Some therapists might work top down, others might work bottom up. Some therapists are Cool, others are Not. Some therapists can offer telehealth, while others are still preferring face to face appointments. Again, it can be beneficial to spend some time considering what it is you're looking for in a therapist and the kind of care you'd like to receive.

Get ready for the long haul. It takes time to fully open up & trust a complete stranger. It will also take some time to figure out what kind of therapist you have, what your dynamic will be; and also what kind of therapy style would work best for you. Like for example, my current therapist & i started out doing inner child work through talk therapy. I really liked the way she approached me, she was really nice & validating, and didn't expect me to do or share anything heavy until I said I wanted to. That worked well for me bc it gave me a lot of control over everything. So I stayed w/ her & we've made tons of progress. She is also very Cool. I have told her all sorts of things & she knows that reporting or having me committed would break a lot of trust between us, but I also know she would react if I said I was in real danger. Compared to my first therapist, we were not a good match at all. He wouldn't answer my questions at all. He would sit and wait for me to figure it out on my own. But for me, that made things worse because I needed a lot of validation for my trauma & what I was going through. Our dynamic left me feeling awkward and exposed in a vulnerable way that I was not comfortable with. So I quit.

Check out what other services they can offer you. Mine also offered case management & currently working on med management as well. It is very convenient to have them all with the same company.

If & when therapy isn't an option:

There are other options to healing & recovery outside of therapy that can be just as beneficial, but will require a bit more research & self effort to find out what you need.

Self help books: check your local library for the self help section. Here is also a file of free trauma & dissociation book PDF files.

Some popular recommendations:

🟢 The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

🟢 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker

🟢 Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C Gibson

🟢 Codependent No More by Melody Beatie

🟢 Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns into Loving Lasting Romantic Relationships by Eli Harwood

Social Media Therapists & Content: there is an abundance of healing, recovery, & trauma informed content currently being circulated by liscenced therapists more and more each day on socials like TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook. Id recommend you to make a spare account specifically for cultivating a healing space, so you can set your algorithm to push those videos in your face.

Recommendations:

🟢 AttachmentNerd aka Eli Harwood on IG: specializing in gentle parenting & reparenting in adulthood from early childhood disruptions in attachment & abuse

🟢 TherapyGhost aka Sandy Tuffs on IG: specializing in healing from csa & sexual assault

🟢 MegJosephson on IG: specializing in recovering from people pleasing, social anxiety, and anxious patterns in childhood attachment

🟢 Dr Raquel Martin PHD on IG: specializing in black mental health & race related trauma

🟢 MrChazz aka Chazz Lewis on IG: specializing in gentle parenting & reparenting attachments in adulthood

🟢 Trauma and Somatics on IG: trauma informed & aware content on somatics, emotional regulation, & nervous system healing

Hopefully this list can help you utilize your time in therapy, healing, & recovery to the max. Good luck & hope this helps.

🌺

#cptsd #recovery #ptsd #trauma #boundaries #mental health #therapy #trauma recovery #healing #inner child healing

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musicprincess1990 · 1 year

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Today so far has been... interesting.

I woke up way too early, spent a couple of hours scrolling through TikTok, then fell back to sleep. Slept through my alarm, just barely managed to get to work on time. I get here, and the phone is already ringing, and there are four missed calls and three voicemails. I call one person back, another person calls. I try to call the next person back, and the first person has another question, so they call again. Round and round it goes, until finally, there's quiet.

Then I can't find a document I need, so I go to try and print it off again... and the file is gone. I email my supervisor, who sends me a new file... and when I try to print it off, I find out we're out of paper. Not just the printer, the WHOLE. DAMN. OFFICE. Eventually, after scouring the whole place, I find maybe 20 sheets of blank printer paper, but that won't last all day, so I have to email my supervisor again, as I am not able to leave the front desk because it's THAT job, and she has to take time out of her busy day to bring a couple reams of paper to the clinic.

And THEN, one of the patients on our schedule calls saying she isn't sure she can make it to her 1:00 appt. I tell her we have later times available, she says no. I let her know that the therapist will want to see her this week if possible, so I offer her several times tomorrow (we have a huge gap in the afternoon). She says no. I am about to say that I understand, sometimes it doesn't work, when she irritably sighs and says, "You know what? I'll just come at 1:00 today, might just be a little late." I ask if she's sure, and she tersely goes, "Yep," then hangs up. She ends up getting here at 12:45.

Also found out no PTO was applied to the day I took off at the end of February, even though I had requested it several weeks in advance.

The silver lining? I'm now in the perfect mindset for today's SAW prompt, and it's gonna make a great one-shot.

#crazy day #kind of want to just go back to bed #getting tired of office jobs #this is the best one i've had #but it's still an office job #and it still has the same culture #and the pay is kind of shit

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brutalscaled · 1 year

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Scheduling a visit had taken some persistence on his end, but Kirk finally got through to them he was completely serious about wanting to see Killer Croc. When he'd heard the news on New Year's Day regarding the criminal's capture, Kirk had at first been shocked, then offended on how he'd been portrayed as a vicious monster who'd endangered many lives during his rampage. Croc wasn't a mindless beast - he'd learned that much during their short time together the previous year and wanted to make sure he was okay at the very least. Okay was far from the reality he saw when visiting hours had finally been arranged. Instead of the usual visiting booth for patients, instead they'd taken him away to a reinforced room, full of armed guards with weapons standing at the ready. "Is all this really necessary?" was what Kirk wanted to say, but it had been hard enough getting this arranged and he didn't want to give them an excuse to cut the visit short before it had even begun. It became a lot harder not to voice that sentiment out loud when he finally saw the state Croc was in, a heavy electric collar placed around his neck and a steel trap of a muzzle locked tight around his jaws, just barely loose enough to let him speak. "Long time no see, Croc. I'd hoped to see you again so I could thank you for the gift last time we met, though under better circumstances than this." Kirk said, trying his best to keep his wording vague. Croc would have no trouble understanding unlike these guards; the hostiliy in their body language was palpable, fingers resting way too close to the triggers of their weapons for comfort. "How are they treating you here?" He asked more quietly, though it was plain to see how he was being treated, like an animal in a zoo.

"On your feet, Jones. You've got a visitor."

He was sorely tempted to ignore the call to rise– they knew by now that he hated that name– but someone outside the asylum visiting him? That was too rare an occurrence for him to risk messing up just because he responded to smartassery with smartassery. So he hauled himself to his feet, taking his place in the middle of the armed squad as they shackled his wrists, checked his collar, and escorted him to the improvised meeting room.

Unfortunately all that preparation was necessary. His status as a priority nine prisoner was announced in every level they passed through, and every available guard was given shoot to kill permissions should they become necessary. So he played nice, kept his eyes forward until he ducked through the meeting room's doorway. Yellow eyes passed over more armed guards, then landed on the familiar face at the other end of the table. Smiling under the confines of the muzzle was uncomfortable, but he forced one as best he could.

"Long time no see, doc. Glad you found it, glad you liked it," he said with a slow shallow nod, nothing quick that would have the security teams putting rounds in him. Just as slowly, he seated himself on the floor so he wouldn't have to hunch just to stand in the room. He snorted.

"The usual. Chats with the therapists, a shock here, drug-laced food there. Got some regular five star teams here, don’t we, boys?" He smirked at the guards before looking back to Kirk. "Gotta say I don't get many visitors. Thanks for makin' the trip. How've things been on your end?"

#chiropterx #Answered #Event: Asylum #83 #feel free to turn this into a thread if you'd like!

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identityunfounded · 1 year

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I get that things come up, but PLEASE don’t waste a service workers time…

I am a massage therapist at a day spa and I have a 45 minute commute to work. It takes about 30 minutes to set up my station and get my hot towels ready and my table warm and everything, plus time to use the restroom and wash my hands before my first session of the day.

So if I have a 1:30 I usually leave the house by 11:30 to give time to stop for coffee or snacks and to account for traffic. I’m usually early, but generally not more than 30 minutes at the most and 5 at the least (that was a stressful drive).

I didn’t have anyone for 1:30 when I went to be last night but by 10am this morning I did. So I finished up my house chores and left at 11, stopping at two stores on my way, and arrived about 12:30, thirty minutes before I want to clock in and start prepping.

Only when I arrive I get a text message from a coworker. The 1:30 I had, that JUST booked their session this morning, had cancelled. An hour before their appointment time.

So now I’m stuck here because the time and gas means I can’t go home. My shopping already done because I left early.

My next appointment is at 4pm.

I could have stayed home and played with my dogs, done more than just the BARE minimum of shopping, spent time with my husband who leaves at 6pm, long before I will be home, for a 12 hour shift.

Instead I get to sit in the parking lot of my work because I don’t have enough time to go do anything interesting.

So please. If you are going to make an appointment make SURE you are available. If this had been scheduled a week out or more I would understand. Things can come up. But to schedule the same day and cancel mere hours later? I feel like more thought could have been put into that action.

Here’s another fun fact. I don’t know if this is for every place, but at my day spa if I have someone no call no show on me, I get paid for my time. Not as much as if they had actually gotten their service, but it’s at least something.

But I’d they CALL in ADVANCE and CANCEL I don’t see a dime unless I’m already clocked in. If you’re the first one of my day and you cancel more than an hour before your start time, I won’t be clocked in.

I’m sure my spa isn’t the only one with a policy like this.

So, the fun fact, is that a late cancel or a no show will get you charged 50% of the service price either way. And it’s actually better for the therapist, at least in my specific case, if you no show.

Better yet, just don’t make a same day appointment. At all. Ever.

Disclaimer: this applies to my specific day spa and in some cases more broadly to other chain massage places. A massage therapist in private practice does NOT generally want you to no show, nor are they usually opposed to same day appointments if they are already in their office. But it really depends.

Personally, I absolutely hate same day appointments and walk ins in both private practice and at the spa. I do not want to sit and twiddle my thumbs for hours on the off chance someone might call and want a massage right now.

Make your appointments 24 hours in advance and be damn sure that you can actually show up.

#venting #personal #massage therapy #massage therapist #ok to reblog if you relate

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uncloseted · 1 year

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I want to start therapy but I am so so nervous. I found an office near me and I just have to call and basically try to schedule when I can come in but I'm so nervous to go see them and call. I don't even know why I'm scared, Im just scared of messing it up, I don't have anyone to help me figure it out besides google.

I'm happy to help! This is what I'm here for.

If calling the therapist's office feels intimidating, check to see if they have a website or a profile on PsychologyToday. A lot of times, you can contact a therapist through email, which might take away some of the stress you're feeling now.

If that's an option, you can say something like:

"Hi! I'm interested in starting therapy. I was curious if you're currently taking on new clients and what your availability is. I'm interested in starting therapy because I'm struggling with [anxiety, and it's impacting my life/a traumatic event that I experienced/relationship issues]. Could we set up a phone consultation to discuss more in-depth?

I was also wondering if you take [xyz insurance]/if I pay out-of-pocket, how much do you charge for a single session? I can be reached at [phone number] and [email address]. Thank you!"

If they don't have an email address listed, script out what you're planning on saying on the phone, similar to what you would have said in an email. It's likely that you'll have to leave a message, since therapists are in sessions for most of the day and don't always have assistants. If you do connect with a person when you call, they'll be able to walk you through how to schedule an appointment. Remember, they talk to people who are nervous about starting therapy all day long! They'll know how to help you feel comfortable.

Typically when you call or email, the therapist or office will have you schedule a 10-15 minute phone consultation. This consultation isn't a therapy session. Instead, it's an opportunity for you and the therapist to get to know each other and see if you might be a good fit. Generally, the therapist will also you some questions to get a better understanding of what your concerns and needs are. They'll also give you some information about their therapeutic approach and discuss logistical details with you, such as appointment times or payment. This is also your chance to ask the therapist any questions that you have. These might be questions like, "what is a typical session with you like?" or "how should I prepare for my initial session?" At the end of the consultation, if you feel like the therapist is a good fit for you, you can schedule your first therapy appointment with them.

The most important thing to remember here is that you can't mess it up. Therapists are here to help, and they'll do whatever they can to make you feel comfortable and safe. They've seen lots of people who are struggling, and nothing you can say or do will surprise them. Starting therapy can definitely feel scary, but it's usually not as scary as people are imagining before they start.

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tataeyo · 4 months

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1/6/2024 – My time, my sense of enjoyment

I feel like there was an acceptance of how time continues to pass with this new year. Not a whole lot of anticipation, just a matter of fact of another day that happens to mark the start of the new year. But, it's a good thing to think about how I want to grow this year and to set those intentions haha...

I don't know when the phrase "I have to start respecting my own time better" came in my mind, but I think that sums up pretty succinctly what I think this year's theme is about. I think there's a lot of good in how I'm very available and generous with my time, but I think the downside of that is, I find myself idling, scrolling social media, waiting on others to play with me (doll on a shelf), or being in situations where I feel like I'm not valuing my own time (stuck in a 4hr date that I've lost interest 3.5 hours ago).

I think part of this is learning to choose myself over others. I know that sounds contradictory to what we're called to as Christians. I know we're supposed to be self-sacrificial, but I think I'm arguing here that it doesn't always mean foregoing yourself. And I think secular therapists often say, setting boundaries doesn't make you selfish - it's maybe even more kind, because you are then able to love more authentically without resentment and without losing yourself. I'm reminded of how Christ would sometimes find a private place to pray, away from His disciples and the crowd. In those moments he chose to be refreshed and poured in to so He can continue to teach and love centered on God.

Being available and free with my time, my extroversion, has maybe become so prominent in my identity that the other parts of me have been neglected. It's not a bad thing that I am available with my time or that I enjoy hanging out with people, it's just that if I say yes to everything (bboy competitions, monster truck rallies, ski trips, walking Stacey's dogs), I can't say yes to the things I want to do. In a recent conversation with Nat, she mentioned that she never gets to the things she wants to do and that frustrates her. I realized that my "things I want to do" list is just to "hang out with people and do fun stuff", but that's often dictated by what others want to do - I just say yes to whatever. I think it's been a while since I've asked myself what do *I* want to do? To cultivate my own sense of enjoyment again, that doesn't depend on others.

I was on a date where we were talking about when I stopped being in to anime or kpop – I realized that in middle school and high school, I truly enjoyed time on my own. Making kpop GIFs, reading manga, watching YT videos... I had friends, but my life didn't revolve around their availability and I wasn't desperate to fill my schedule. In college, somehow I started to equate my value with my relationships with others and that came out in the expression of needing to be spending time all the time with people. And post-grad, I think it might've became worse, with more free time, the more I felt the need to fill it with people.

I remember having my small group in college do an exercise where they made a pie chart of what they spent their time on in a week to show what you spend your time on is what you value. I think my pie chart right now would be a sliver for work, and a majority of it would be social media and hanging out with/dating people. I think the goal for this year is to have more balance and diversification and spend more time on things that I've been wanting to do more solo. Creating art, painting, taking photography walks, reading, spending time with God, exercising... things that I know bring me joy that I've deprioritized in the past few years because I would choose people first.

Lord, thank you for creating me with my unique giftings, personality, and desires. Thank you for creating me in your image and for giving me value and worth that no one can take away. I pray that in this new year, I would cultivate these parts of me and to find so much joy in seeing you in these areas. I hope that when I create something, I can appreciate your artistic mastery, when I exercise, I hope to be grateful for this body, when I walk outside, I hope to see you in the leaves and birds. Thank you for giving me the eyes to see you in your people, I pray that I'll see you in many other parts of my life – to be able to worship you with my whole life, to worship you with my joy. Amen!

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whoslaurapalmer · 8 months

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ooooo it's that ~fun~ time of the month where lulu complains about her therapist ~

-i was talking about being anxious sometimes when i wake up and all of a sudden she comes out with 'well you have to get up for childcare, right? for babysitting? oh, what's her name -- ' -and i'm like. i have never, not a day in my life, ever.......said anything like that -and i'm so stunned that i can't even correct her or anything -and i'm thinking, am I going crazy??? am i dissociating???? is she going through something?????? am i still in august 22nd, 2023????? is it still the afternoon??????? -and then she was like, 'but you're doing well, right?' and i was like. '.......yeah! fine! great!' -i'm still so confused.

-THEN she was like 'do you want to keep seeing me or do you think you're fine?' -and like. first of all, i'd rather see anyone but you, ma'am, but i am so THROWN by the fact that she asked me at all that i was like '.......no, i, i want to keep. seeing you?' -and she was like 'oh well i just ask because soemtimes when people are doing well they don't want to see anyone anymore!' -when like. the very first time we spoke i told her one therapist i had just flat-out stopped seeing me (and cut our last appointment short) because i was in a good mood that day and she was like 'oh! that's terrible. just because someone is doing good doesn't mean they don't need therapy.' -even if i don't super LIKE her, at least i'm seeing SOMEONE -it could be more IDEAL of course but at least there's SOMETHING -i did in fact almost say 'i'd like to see someone else in the office' but AGAIN. SO THROWN THAT SHE ASKED ME AT ALL. I WAS LIKE. SHOULD I????? RIGHT NOW?????? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!! -then she was like 'oh well with your mom's surgery coming up it would be good to have an appointment.'

-i'm still. very confused by the last 20 minutes of my life in that appointment, quite frankly

-oh! and i mean. i WOULD like to see someone with more regularity honestly! somebody i like, but also, just seeing someone regularly! -and now she just schedules the appointments for once a month and doesn't even say she'll call if she has any other availability!!!!!!!!!!!! -uggggg.

#i'm scared that if i ask for someone else she'll say 'no one else in the office has availability' and then we'll be stuck with #the awkwardness of her knowing i'd rather see someone else.#ANYWAY. I'M JUST. SO??????????????? WHAT JUST //HAPPENED//

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flimsy-roost · 10 months

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ND Diary

[[[VENT INCOMING]]]

[[[DISCUSSIONS OF WEIGHT/WEIGHT LOSS, EATING, AND DIETICIAN JARGON]]]

[[[NBD JUST SCROLL ON PAST IF NOT YOUR THING NBD]]]

had an intro meeting with a dietician yesterday, and it was weird in a lot of ways, but in two particular ways I can't unstick from my head so this is my attempt to peel them off.

.1) neurotypical bias, aka come meet me where I am

backing up slightly for context. the process of finding a medical professional as an autistic person is a minefield. if you google the keywords "dietician neurodiversity," all the top results are akin to PARENTS CLICK HERE TO ALLEVIATE (CURE?????) YOUR CHILD'S AUTISM THROUGH SPECIFIC DIET!!!!1!!!! so I usually have to haphazardly suss out the vibes, be as up front as I comfortably can, and then roll the dice.

I was cautiously optimistic about this place because the intake girl seemed chill. at one point in that scheduling call, I mentioned that intuitive eating wont work for me because I have really weak interoception, which applies to hunger cues. she basically said oh yeah that shouldn't be a problem, I've recovered from an ED so I have similar issues, we meet people where they are so eating on a schedule or in a more prescriptive way is definitely something we can help with.

so imagine my awe shock and horror when the very first thing the RDN suggests (halfway through an already stumbly awkward zoom call) is to basically start keeping a feelings diary, to try and "nail down" subtler hunger cues.

in the moment, it felt like she was trying to funnel me into intuitive eating; the thing I specifically said does not work for me, and forthewhich reason I'm even seeing a professional in the first place. I did look it up, and developing this sense can also help with making more intentional decisions about what you eat (ie, am I so hungry that I need a whole sandwich, or will a smaller snack suffice?), but the thing is that I also do not have issues with this kind of intentionality day-to-day.

I don't doubt that with a large amount of concerted effort, I could gradually develop a halfway-sufficient understanding of hunger-related interoception. but is that really the best use of my time, energy, and brainspace?

digression, but this reminds me of my old roommate's girlfriend, who I was interacting with regularly the last time I made a concerted effort to get in shape. I have shitty knees from a teenage injury, and was basically told by the physical therapist at the time that I shouldn't develop an interest in running unless I want to also be back in PT on a regular basis. my roommate's gf lived, ate, and breathed running, I think she was training for a half marathon when I knew her, and could not conceive of the fact that her favorite thing ever wasn't going to work for me. she kept interpreting my saying "I can't" as "I won't." and sure, she had a wisp of a point; if I found a good PT with regular availability, and found the right shoes, and figured out the right routes and schedule and time frames and timing to do it, I might have been able to be a runner. OR, I could just go to a gym and sit on a no-impact spin bike for half an hour every day. that second thing achieves similar results and takes up a lot less time, energy, and brainspace.

the insistence on developing interoception is giving similar vibes. sure, I could set a reminder every two hours to write down any bodily sensations that might conceivably be related to hunger, for the next several weeks, to see if there's a pattern and satisfy your preference to be "open to experimentation." OR I could use that same reminder-setting system to remind me to eat on a sustainable schedule. you gonna help me figure out that schedule or not?

2) don't say the "w" word

I really really wish there was something in between the hyperintense calorie/macro tracking "calories in, calories out" medicalizing approach to weight loss, and weight neutrality. the former was not good for me in ways I won't expand upon, and the latter is kind of... fluffy?

look, I'm not going to lie to you and say that there aren't some minor vanity aspects at play in my wanting to lose weight (eg. I want to cut my hair short, but I don't think it would look cute on me right now), but the main two reasons I'm looking to do this are for simplicity and mobility.

simplicity: the world we live in either ignores or pathologizes fat bodies. this is a problem, and I'm genuinely glad it's being talked about and is changing incrementally. but I'm barely keeping up with the basic demands of existing that everyone has to deal with, and the added complications of navigating the world as a fat person means that the scope of things I can reliably participate in is incredibly small. my overall environment is already unsuitable for a neurodivergent person, so I devote a lot of effort to trying to reduce environmental hostility inflicted upon me in ways I can actually effect, in this case my size.

the second weird thing sticking in my brain concerns the second reason, mobility.

as mentioned above, I have shit knees. in the years since the initial knee enshittification, my weight has fluctuated within a 90lb range. while knee muscle strength definitely plays a role, I can say with certainty, from firsthand experience, that 75% of what determines how much my knees are bothering me at any given point in my life is my numerical weight. this is a neutral statement. this is physics; a larger mass will exert greater gravitational force on a hinge. the best ways to mediate this force are to strengthen the hinge (which I am also working on) and to reduce the mass.

the dietician I saw, operating with weight neutral language and training, denied that my weight has an impact on my knees and mobility. or not exactly denied it, but denied that that's a thing that we could say.

come on.

this is an extra layer of narration and storytelling that I do not find helpful. I'm fully on board with the general gist of weight neutrality. it's bullshit that fatphobic medical professionals will ignore their patient's medical concerns because they're fat, and insist that they can only do their fucking jobs on demographics within a certain BMI range. the default fat=bad thin=good needs to be replaced with all=neutral. I get that, I agree with that, I'm on that page with you. but this degree of "do not speak the name of the fey, lest you invite them into your home to trick you" obfuscates any helpful advice when weight is genuinely and measurably at least part of the problem.

I wish there was a widespread way that incorporated the amoralistic ethos of weight neutrality into adaptive problem solving. kind of like an informed consent system. like a "what do you want, why do you want it, how do you want to do it, how can I help" sort of thing. I don't appreciate being told how I'm supposed to feel about something, when my baseline feelings about it are already pretty neutral. if you're unwilling to accept that my weight may exacerbate my mobility issues and that this is a valid impetus for weight loss, then why the fuck am I even here talking to the diet and weight loss specialist

#eating #diet #weight loss #weight #actually autistic #nd #samble rambles #nd diary

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lunarrhapsody · 11 months

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What the Heck Is This Thing??? A Manifesto of Unnecessary Length

Introduction to the Snow

FELLAS. If you already stumbled across this blog somehow despite being a blog dedicated to a comic that does not yet exist that is also currently fresh from the womb by a person who has basically never used Tumblr before and also barely uses the internet in general, congratulations, I guess? This post is meant as a newcomer guide which will mostly be useful for when this blog actually has stuff in it, so I guess you're in the right place.

The Good Stuff

This is a blog for the (currently) upcoming webcomic I call Lunar Rhapsody, which sounds pretty chill, maybe you should go like read it or something when it comes out.

As for the comic itself, it's a modern-day-ish fantasy/sci-fi story about this 22-year-old who just graduated high school, Alice Weaver, who's also a magnet for fun descriptors like "high profile thief", "quote-unquote vampire", and "annoying". She gets involved in an incident with a piece of experimental technology trying to steal from a mysterious company called Knight Biochemical that's run by her former therapist. She is then forced to work for him both in the lab and in the summer camp he runs as a front. Wacky hijinks ensue as she gets caught between corporate ambition, domestic terrorism, vigilantes of questionable moral standing, extradimensional horrors and the unhinged antics demanded by the voices inside her head.

This blog will serve as a sort of companion to the comic, detailing its production process, additional information about its characters and world, Q and A, and bonus art, as well as any other stray thoughts that go unrepressed in my brain. I will have a bunch of other social medias carrying this same content (as of right now I have a Twitter with nothing of substance and an Instagram with some miscellaneous art. A YouTube channel about writing in general I'm making with a friend will be existing soon as well.) Now I said I'm new to Tumblr, but out of all the popular social media platforms available this one seems best as a "home base" due to its personalized, text-based nature, so that's what it is now. Whoops.

Content Warnings

This is, believe it or not, a thing not for kids, as it will contain mild gore, drug use, strong language, sexual themes, and revealing clothing but never full nudity. As the main characters are fresh out of high school, I want them to talk and act like people their age in the real world and address the kinds of issues they would be expected to confront (in addition to the more fantastical problems). However, I also intend to leverage these elements to generate appeal, but never more than what I (keyword: I) would consider the line where it becomes shock value or genuine porn. But unless you work at a really cool place, it will (to use a turn of phrase) probably not be safe for your workplace. Use your own discretion with regards to that.

The Immediate Future

This blog's gonna get slowly populated with content over the next few months as production is in full swing. So stay tuned if you're interested.

The comic's first update is expected to be released by August of this year (hopefully earlier), and I'll post details about where it can be read. I'll also post the first few pages to my various platoforms. It will be in the format of a somewhat but not completely self-contained chapter, which will be roughly a third of the first self-contained story or "episode". Each update will be another chapter, constructing each episode piece by piece. I'm deliberately not going to give the traditional page-by-page updates because that makes my schedule less flexible and, in my opinion, ruins the experience. As the comic is gonna be written and drawn more or less exclusively by me, a college student working on a Physics Bachelor's who's self-taught in writing and art, we'll have to see how things go in terms of production speed and quality.

Feel free to ask questions in the question asky box over on my page if you feel inclined for... some reason. I'll answer them probably within a day of receiving them, not because of any sense of urgency or importance, but because I (evidently) like making words happen a lot and frequently.

Legal Stuff

Oh. Also. Not that it's important now, but the whole thing's gonna be under some form of Creative Commons license, so if something I make tickles your fancy for some unholy reason I will never take legal action against anything you do with my creations. And that includes stuff that makes you money without me getting any of it. Hope the power doesn't go to your heads.

Peace,

Willy Tombstone (pseudonym) aka The Author Guy

#original comic #webcomic #sci fi #fantasy

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bodymassage726 · 1 year

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Relax and Rejuvenate at Body Sense Massage Therapy

How many times have you come home from work or school feeling like you’ve barely been there at all? Stress can build up in our bodies and minds until we reach the point where we feel physically exhausted or mentally drained – we’re not even aware of it! Body Sense offers several massage services to combat this stress and help you achieve your optimal level of relaxation, whether it’s gentle Swedish massage, deep tissue massage, hot stone massage, or prenatal massage. Contact Body Sense to schedule your appointment today!

The Benefits of Massage

Massages promote good circulation, help with muscle tension, reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep quality, decrease chronic pain, provide relief from headaches or migraines. Each of these benefits can be achieved through a variety of massages including deep tissue massage therapy, Swedish massage therapy, prenatal massage therapy. Regardless of which type you prefer- they all have the same goal: to help your body feel free and clear of all worries and stressors that life places upon us. When you visit our office, our therapists will tailor each session to suit your individual needs. We offer both in-office and mobile massage sessions so if you find yourself on the go, we are able to come to you! Our therapists want you to walk out of our office feeling rejuvenated and relaxed after every appointment! To learn more about how Reflexology Christchurch can help you achieve this, give our staff a call today!

The Different Types of Massage

Body Sense offers a variety of massages, each with their own benefits. Our therapists are trained in all types of massage to help you feel your most relaxed and rejuvenated. The different types of massage include: Swedish, deep tissue, sports massage, prenatal/prenatal infant massage, hot stone therapy, lymphatic drainage therapy and Swedish-neuromuscular therapy. If you have specific needs that are not listed here, please give us a call or email and we will do our best to accommodate! We also offer spa services like facials, waxing and body scrubs for any special occasion. Visit our website for more information about booking an appointment!

How to Choose the Right Massage Therapist

Choosing the right massage therapist can be a daunting task. If you're looking for a massage, there are many things to consider: location, hours of operation, price, specialty services offered. And if you're not sure how to go about it all? You've come to the right place! Here's how to find the perfect massage therapist for your needs. -Do they offer what you need? Do they offer specialized treatments such as prenatal or hot stone massages?

-How do they feel about working with people who have disabilities or limitations?

-What's their philosophy when it comes to health and wellness treatment options? Are they interested in addressing chronic pain issues or are they more focused on relaxation techniques and stress relief treatments only? -Do they work with couples or individuals only, or is group massage available too? -Do they offer anything that seems like it might help alleviate any aches and pains back massage christchurch.

-If this is your first time receiving a professional massage, should you call ahead to ask about rates? Or just show up during regular business hours?

-How soon will I be able to get an appointment?

What to Expect During Your Massage Treatment

At your first massage appointment, you will be asked to fill out a form with some basic information. We’ll also ask about any injuries or physical problems that are troubling you. Next, one of our massage therapists will go over the treatment plan for your appointment, give you an idea of what to expect during your treatment, and answer any questions you might have. At this point, we’ll also ask if there are any areas on the body that need extra attention or time during the treatment. You'll then change into comfortable clothes, lie down on the table in whichever way feels most comfortable to you, and cover yourself with a sheet. For our part of the process, we'll begin by introducing ourselves, asking if it's okay to touch different parts of your body or just certain ones. You're welcome to stop us at any time - even before we get started - if something feels uncomfortable; it's always better for us to do less rather than more because doing too much can make things worse instead of better. During your treatment, it's natural for your mind to wander off - but don't worry about it! It just means that all the work is happening without being distracted by thoughts or concerns from outside sources like family members or work-related obligations.

After Your Massage Treatment

The massage treatment will be tailored to your needs. We'll ask you about any health conditions you have that may need attention, like lower back pain, to make sure your massage is as beneficial as possible. We'll also ask about what kind of pressure you prefer for the massage - light, medium or deep. The therapist will use their hands, forearms, elbows and heels to move the body's muscles in a systematic fashion so they can release tension from the area being treated. The therapist will also spend time on areas of soreness or tightness with gentle rocking motions. You can lie face down or on your side if that is more comfortable for you during the session. You will feel relaxed and rejuvenated after your treatment. Be sure to drink plenty of water afterwards and avoid strenuous activity. A few hours later, you should feel well rested and ready to tackle the day!

#Deep Tissue Massage Christchurch

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emzs-world · 2 years

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Maybe He's Just Not That into You !

What happened between us last Saturday? What was is that ?? was it an impulsive action? Or was a tense need to be hold? Am I really that stupid to pour like a hurricane?? Am I too lonely to act with that impulsivity? Was it a starting of a proper, serious relationship or it's nothing or just friends with benefits?

It feels like I'm cheap, stupid, naïve one & I really hate that feeling much!!

Do you remember in our first calls when I told you I'm hard to be handled & I don't fit in the game of relationships & dating ,,, coz I'm seeking for things which is no more available or maybe not available for me ….

At all in my previous relations it was like I was begging for caring, attention, time, effort, Communication & connection,, Was begging them to come back, talk to me or stay .

But then I realized that begging is demanding and degrading as it's not natural for a man to sit back and let the woman do all the work while he claims he likes me or interested in me

When a man really wants you, you won't have to chase after him

I need someone who willingly could give these things with their arms wide open, to be around me, feeling him there for me, not scheduling for a call or a text, however I saw that your phone is part of your hand apparently and it took from you seconds, just seconds to text or check on me,, but you are not that much into me :)

I know quite well that you don't have time , busy maybe all the time during the days & it's obvious you don't have time for me either , and I need a full time "relationship" not a part time one with scheduling things , yesterday when I faced really a terrible day ,I wished you calling or texting or anything but u weren't there & you have no Idea how I fought the urge to text u or call and keep telling & reminding myself that if you wanted to talk , you would!

I'm simple , spontaneous person who tend to simplicity as well , when I miss someone I call , telling them I'm here , around , u r valued , u r wanted , u r important to me !!

My therapist once said when you have the right person, you won't ask him to care

You will receive these things without even asking

And with no doubt you gave me a thing no one else have done to me before , and I cant thank you enough about it

I know we are in the very beginning of knowing each other , don't have enough time together but what we had between us could count as well

I'm confused , overthinking , stressed , hard , tough , Stupid , That’s why I'm not fitting in dating,, and you are just not that into me !!

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 3 years

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Important asset [Billy Russo x Reader]

Title: Important asset Pairing: Billy Russo x Female!Reader Word count: 3k Published: 22 April 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Notes: My first Billy Russo fic, I hope it's not that bad, I'm still trying to get a hold of his character :) Summary: [x] Being a former military personal gives you the opportunity to work for Billy’s company. Becoming a very important part of the company provides you with an even closer relationship with your boss. However, he seems to be deliberately dancing on your nerves, increasing your already built-up frustration.

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Working for Anvil felt like a safe place. After serving your country for years, coming back from your last tour turned out to be more difficult than you could have anticipated. Protecting important personals and working as security wasn’t something you wished to do, but after starting the job, working along with people who have been through what you have, your view of the company has changed. The job was different, but the people you worked with have given you more support than anyone, including your family, friends or your therapist for that matter.

Joining Anvil wasn’t easy, the requirement process raised some issues that you had to overcome. The physical part didn’t offer any difficulty, but the mental exam seemed to present some obstacles. It wasn’t until your second try that you have been approved and joined the team. That was when you met Mr. Russo, CEO and founder of Anvil. He was just as handsome as you have heard, and he had a way with words. He was confident and knew just how to use his charm. Even if you wanted to deny your sudden interest in him, you couldn’t have.

It seemed that even if he didn’t look at you as a woman, he certainly found your abilities interesting. You didn’t just become one with the team, a crucial member, but also became one of Billy’s most important assets. Having both good communications skills and excellent combat skills meant your worth in Billy’s eyes have grown and provided a great deal of opportunity for you to stay beside him. Officially you weren’t an assistant, but unofficially, Billy liked to give you a nice amount of work, keeping you close by from early morning to late afternoon or evening, sometimes past 10pm.

“Mr. Russo,” you called out to him as you walked behind him in a narrow corridor of the Anvil headquarters. Billy turned around, adjusting his tie with a confident smirk across his face. “I heard you were looking for me,” you added as you finally arrived beside him, glancing up at his handsome features, looking very professional in his expensive suit. You wanted to look feminine and pretty, instead of being dirty and sweaty, wearing a pair of tracksuits, but sometimes your work required you to look more worn out than you wished to be. He had a certain aura that kept pulling you towards him, but as confident as you were in your abilities to protect your country and your people, you were just as uncertain about your appearance when you appeared in front of Billy.

“Yes, I have. Care to explain why I can't reach you on your phone?” He asked, his features unimpressed with your lack of availability.

“I was training, I can’t possibly bring my phone with me everywhere,” you replied frowning, but you quickly adjusted your expressions, before he could have scolded you. It was clear that he wasn’t happy with your reply, but he dismissed it after all.

“Come to my office at 1700 hours. I have a couple things to discuss with you,” he replied in an authoritative manner.

“I have to train the new recruits at 4,” you explained, but he just shook his head.

“Ask someone to replace you,” he stated firmly, accepting no objection. But you took your job very seriously and even though Billy was your boss, often you found yourself going against his decisions just to spite him.

“I can’t do that,” you stated, lips pursed to emphasise your objection. “There’s no one to cover me,” you added. His firm stance and sharp inhale reassured you that he was anything but happy with your answer. He took a step forward, forcing you to take a step back and collide with the wall behind you. Your chest felt as though it was a small box, containing only a small portion of oxygen, its lack of tightened your throat, starting your heart off in a dangerous pace, pounding hard against your ribcage. Billy’s presence always made you feel as though you couldn’t breathe. A simple gaze in your direction, a confident grin, his low, deep voice calling your name made you weak at the knees and left your mind wandering to paths you should have never gone to, causing thousands of butterflies to erupt in your belly.

“I’m your boss and I can change your schedule whenever I want to. I want to see you in my office at 1700 sharp, or else—” he didn’t finish the end of his sentence, but you were sure his ideas were entirely different from yours.

“Or else—?” It escaped your mouth involuntarily, receiving a low growl from Billy, a threatening aura, still it didn’t frighten you, if anything it encouraged you further. “I think we both know you will not fire me, Mr. Russo. I’m a very important asset to your company. I am a very dedicated employee and therefore I will try to adjust my schedule to fit your request, but I cannot promise anything, unless you personally can provide someone to take over from me,” you replied in a challenging manner, earning a questioningly raised brow from Billy. Trying to read his face you couldn’t decide if he was actually considering helping you or he was planning how to murder you in the spot.

A heavy sigh left his lungs, but he didn’t back away. “I will send Simon to cover you,” he said between gritted teeth.

“That is absolutely brilliant, I’m so glad we are on the same page,” you exclaimed with a wide grin across your face as you turned around to leave the man behind. However, before you could have left, he grabbed your arm and pulled you back against him, your palms landing on his hard chest, feeling every inch of each fine muscle under your touch.

“Pay attention to your attitude because it has gotten out of hands recently and you are standing on a very fine line,” he whispered, his breath tickling your cheeks. Indeed, you have been rather free with your words and actions around Billy, and you knew you were playing with fire, but it seemed that was the only way to get his attention.

“I might be pushing some boundaries, but my only intention is for the company to work effectively, to produce people that do their tasks efficiently meanwhile wearing Anvil’s name with pride. If I neglect my duties and ignore my job, even if it’s for your request, what use am I to the company?” you asked with a certain pride. Whilst your intention was to object to Billy once again, to be somewhat bratty, every word that left your lips were true. Anvil has given you more than you could have ever wished for and not even Billy could stop you from making this company one of the most well-working organisations.

Billy took a sharp inhale, trying to decide whether you were just being spoilt once again, because you were indeed aware of your own worth, or if the company really took priority in your eyes. His nod reassured you of the latter as he let go of your arm.

“I like the way you are thinking, but it doesn’t excuse your attitude. You are an important asset to the company, but not irreplaceable. By the time you come to see me in the afternoon, try to get rid of it,” he spoke sternly, before he shook his head and offered you a cocky grin as he turned around and left you in the corridor. You couldn’t stop the tiny smile from appearing in the corner of your lips, his expression reassured you that you were anything but invisible in his eyes.

As you were leading a shooting session for your team, Billy interrupted your practice, clearing his throat whilst leaning against the doorframe, watching your people. You looked at your watch, afraid of being late, but according to your time, you weren’t even anywhere near the time you were supposed to be in his office.

“Keep practising,” you instructed them as you walked back to Billy, whose arms were folded in front of his chest, his eyes following every step you took towards him. “Is everything okay?” you asked as you stopped in front of him.

“Hmm,” he replied with a simple hum and a single nod. He seemed to have something on his mind, and you were sure he would soon voice his opinion. Biting his lip, he grimaced slightly. “Your team needs more practice,” he added nonchalantly. Your eyes widened and you quickly turned around to check on the targets. Indeed, there were some errors, but you were overall satisfied with their performance, they were former members of the US Armed Forces after all. Inhaling sharply, you turned back to him, staring at his expressionless face.

“Is this really why you came here?” You asked with a questioningly raised brow.

“I was just wondering how useful you are to the company since you have been walking around voicing your importance. Just like you did in the morning, if I recall correctly,” he shrugged casually.

“Let me see if I understand. After all I have done for the company and for you, now you are checking on my people and my progress, questioning how much we are worth to your goddamn company?” You hissed in anger. Billy seemed to be on a roll attempting to piss you off at any given time. Usually, you could keep your act together, but he has done nothing but insulted you that day and he was very close to reaching your limits. You stared into his eyes and in the lowest, most threatening tone you could manage, you continued. “Listen to me Russo, I can take a lot, I’m quite a resilient person, but I’m very close to walking out of here and never coming back. If you would like me to leave then say it, but if not and you would like me to keep working for you, then let me do my job and leave me alone for the rest of the day,” you exhaled sharply and after a deadly gaze directed at your boss, you turned away and joined your team. Your blood was boiling from the amount of anger he could bring out in you, as if he found your frustration entertaining. Although you expected him to come after you and give you a monologue about humbling yourself, by the time you looked back towards the entrance, he was long gone.

It was already 5pm and Simon was nowhere to be found. You instructed the new recruits to take a 5-minute break from the exercises you have given them as you rocked from one leg to the other trying to calm yourself, slowly exhaling and inhaling. Preparing for the scolding you were about to receive from Billy, your blood pressure had risen. You groaned as you saw Simon run through the door, heavily apologising for his lateness. Shaking your head, you walked up to him and instructed him about the details of the recruits’ further training. By the time you were supposed to be in Billy’s office, you were jogging across the narrow corridors of Anvil, trying to minimise the nagging Billy was about to give you for not arriving in time.

“You are late,” you heard his voice as you opened the door, grimacing at the harsh tone. Billy didn’t even look up from his desk, his eyes were attached to the paperwork he was signing off.

“Not my fault,” you added, walking up to the table and sitting down across Billy.

“I told you to be precise,” he groaned, unhappy about your lateness.

“Next time send someone who actually appears in time,” you retorted, feeling fed up with his continued scolding.

“Once again you have that attitude,” he cleared his throat in frustration.

“Russo!” You shot up from your chair, placing your hands on his paperwork, staring straight into his eyes. “I’m aware that I have a slight problem with my attitude, but I don’t think it’s fair that you blame me for something I had no say in. You have asked Simon to replace me, still at 5pm sharp I was still in the training hub alone with the recruits, because he was late,” you replied firmly.

“I don’t think I have asked for an excuse, so why do I have to listen?” He asked with a deep frown, slowly standing up from his chair, his stance projecting authority. But at that moment, you couldn’t care less. Your blood was rushing through your veins, your built-up frustration threatening to reveal itself. As if Billy’s mere purpose was to dance on your nerves. And he was successful.

“Billy,” you called his first name with clenched teeth. You have gotten used to calling him Mr. Russo or Russo, even though you were close to each other. However recently he has been deliberately annoying you and you couldn’t take it anymore. Indeed, you wanted to get some kind of reaction out of him with your brattiness, but receiving the same attitude didn’t seem that entertaining. You knew you were supposed to be professional when you were working, even though he made it his mission to piss you off, but you just lost your self-control. “I have done nothing for this company but work my ass off to help you. When you asked, I had to be at two even three places at the same time. I have no life, because every single free time and day off I’m supposed to be having, I have to spend here to help you. I don’t mind, because I love working here and I want to make this company a better place. But you are the one talking about my attitude, even though I have never asked for anything in return?! Have I ever asked for a raise even if you dumped hours of work on me? You keep me here from early morning to late evening and I’ve never once complained, still you dare to talk about my attitude? Please, tell me what your problem is with me, because recently I feel like it’s your mission to get on my nerves. At this point the only thing I can think of is that you want me to quit because that’s the kind of hostility that comes across from you,” you huffed releasing all your frustration on your boss.

“You—” he wanted to speak up, but you didn’t let him. It was your time to talk, and you didn’t even give him a chance to object.

“No, I’m speaking,” you interrupted him, earning a sharp inhale from the man. “I understand that I’m only a mere subordinate, and I know I should not have the attitude that I do take on sometimes, but I am still a human and I don’t have to deal with your moodiness on a daily basis,” you hissed. “Tell me honestly, is it your mission to get me to quit? Because at this point you are very close to forcing me to resign and—” you had no way to finish the sentence as Billy grabbed the back of your neck and pulled your lips against his, earning a moan from you. He only let go of you for a second to get around the table, his movements quick as though he was a lion hunting down his prey. He attached his lips to yours once again, pushing you up on the table and positioning himself between your thighs. He sneaked his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, his other hand firmly holding you close to him by the back of your neck, wanting nothing but to reduce the proximity between the two of you.

“Do you ever shut up?” He asked, breathing heavily against your lips. “I hear nothing but your continuous yapper,” he groaned as he laid his forehead against yours, massaging random patterns on your thigh. “Why on earth do you think I have given you so much job to do, you dumb woman? Can you be any more oblivious? I didn’t just dump all those random tasks on you and left you to do them, did I? I stayed behind with you, isn’t that, right?” he asked through gritted teeth. “You really know how to get on my nerves, and this certainly isn’t how I imagined this to come out, but you make it impossible for me to keep my cool,” he inhaled slowly, forcefully pulling you closer to him as he stood between your legs, making you moan at the contact. “I’m going to give you two options now,” he stated as he took a step back, giving you space to think. You can walk out that door, act like nothing happened and we will go back to being a boss and an employee. Or you can stay, and we continue what we started. But then there’s no turning back. I don’t just let go of what’s mine,” for a moment you ran the options through a logical part of your mind, that screamed for you to walk out the door. But you couldn’t possibly listen to the voice when you could finally be Billy’s after you have done so much for the man you longed for.

You grabbed his belt and pulled him between your legs, whispering against his lips. “Close that door,” Billy’s jaw clenched and without a second to waste he stood by the door, locking it behind him and getting back to you in haste, capturing your lips with his hands exploring every part of your body.

“So, have I become irreplaceable now?” You asked with a proud, overly confident grin as his hands tried to remove your shirt impatiently. His eyes darkened at your words, his hands stopping mid-air.

“Don’t get cocky with me,” he groaned, grabbing your jaw and connecting your lips once again, trying to get you out of your clothes. Whatever Billy called you for was long forgotten for the rest of the evening, you were busier with each other’s company.

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Taglist is in a reblog from now on.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #anvil #billy russo x reader fanfiction #billy russo fanfiction

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