#and what’s worse!!! is im so fucking scared of doctors!!! and hospitals!!!
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realising i have health anxiety and it’s the fucking worst i feel like i’m doing to die
#and what’s worse!!! is im so fucking scared of doctors!!! and hospitals!!!#literally just seeing blue plastic gloves makes my heart rate increase!!!!#i have so many concerns for my health rn and i can’t even tell if it’s just me overthinking or if it’s at to be worried about!!#and then if it’s just me overthinking!! what if i decide im overthinking and then i actually should have worried ab it!!#what if i go to the gp and there actually IS something wrong!! what do i do!!#i don’t have this symptom anymore but what if it’s connected to this other thing that could be wrong!! my tummy hurts! l#is that related or is that just anxiety!!#my throat feels weird! is it a cold? is it covid? is it cancer? or is it anxiety??#what if there’s something ELSE that’s wrong w me that i just haven’t noticed and i don’t notice until it’s too late!!#what if i have to stay in the hospital!! how will i cope!!#mami is too far away to go w me to the gp!! and i’m almost fucking twenty!! i should not be this scared!!#what if the doctor is an asshole! what if it’s a man! what if he just tells me to lose weight! what if he tells me it’s cancer!#what if! what if! what if! what if! what if!#what if i come out of a checkup even more traumatised than i already am!!!#i don’t know if i could handle it!#but oh my god what if there’s something wrong!!!#i’m spiralling oh my god#might delete later i am just so anxious my heart feels like it’s been pounding for hours
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Sorry, I meant to send an ask yesterday, but I got carried away 😅
So what about ut, us, uf and ht (you can ignore the last one if you want to don't worry) and how they would be with a reader that hides the fact that they're physically hurt.
Maybe they went hiking with the skellie, and they tripped and pretended that it was only a little scratch when days later they see quite a big wound that's infected.
It's a bit gross, so it's okay if you don't do it, don't worry :)
Have a good day/night and be safe
-💀
UnderTale, UnderSwap, UnderFell, and HorrorTale skellies react to a reader hiding that they're injured
you had gotten in a little tussle with a fallen branch walking home. you were completely oblivious, and tripped right over it. it hurt to walk on, and you soon noticed it swelling. it wasn't... sprained, right? nah, of course not! you brushed it off, thinking that it would be just fine in a day or two.
but until then, you might want to put some ice on that.
and so you did. for three days, with no sign of improvement. you tried keeping it a secret, but then your s/o came home while you were putting ice on it, right on the couch beside the door, and...
UnderTale:
Sans:
-he walks into the house, immediately heading for the couch.
-"hey, y/n, i'm ho- you alright? what happened to you?"
-"oh! sans, hi, i didn't expect you home so early!" you wave frantically to draw his eyes away from your ankle.
-"yeah... work was slow, so i came home. whats going on? you're acting weird."
-"pshh, don't be silly, nothing's wrong! absolutely nothing!"
-he sighs.
-"my whole shtick back in the underground was that i can see peoples stats. your HPs lowered, you're acting really awkward about your leg, and you're trying to hide an ice pack from me. i know, i saw it when i walked in. so, im gonna ask you again. whats going on?"
-you sighed. he caught you, he always did.
-"i dont know what's up. I tripped a few days ago and my ankle just started swelling. I'm gonna give it a few more days before I see a doctor, just to see if it heals on its own."
-"alright then," really? that's it? not going to insist you see someone? well, that's great for you! "I'm going to grillby's. wanna come?"
-you nodded your head.
-"cmon, let's take a shortcut."
-he took you to the fucking ER.
Papyrus:
-you look up after hearing the door open and you heard a crash.
-he had gone grocery shopping, apparently, because his bags were sprawled on either side of him on the floor.
-his jaw was only half hinged, that's how bad you scared him.
-as in it dropped. almost fully.
-he suddenly runs to your side (re-hinging his jaw on the way) and kneels by your side.
-"HUMAN, what ever is the matter? is it serious? does it hurt? will it need stitches? should i take you to-"
-"Paps! i'm okay. i think it's just sprained, i'll be alright," you tries to reassure him.
-"SPRAINED? oh, HEAVENS no, i must take you to the doctor right away!"
-you sigh. "Papyrus, it isn't that big of a deal. i'm sure it'll be alright in a few days."
-"absolutely not! what if it's worse than you think? it could kill you!"
-he really thought a sprained ankle could kill you? he may be clueless about human injuries, but at least he cares!
-you don't have too much time to reply before he picks you up, puts you in the car, buckles you up (because heaven forbid something ELSE happen to you, ESPECIALLY under his watch) and brings you to the ER.
UnderFell:
Sans:
-he literally did not notice.
-he grumbles a quiet, "hey," before trotting upstairs into his room.
-it isn't until several days later when the pain has worsened and you cannot walk on it that he asks what the fuck is going on.
-you explained that you had tripped a few days ago, and it got swollen, and you thought that it would just go away, but it's been getting worse and worse since it happened.
-"fuckin' idiot," he groaned. "i'm dating a goddamn moron! alright, get in the car. i'm takin' you to a hospital."
-he's groaning the entire way.
Papyrus:
-as soon as he lays eyes on you, he sighs.
-"what did you do this time?"
-what the hell did he mean, 'this time'? he CANNOT be holding you accountable for that one time you got a concussion! that was HIS fault!
-"hey! you BETTER not be talking about-"
-"about the concussion," he cut you off. "yes, yes, i'm aware, you believe that incident to be my doing. however, i can GUARANTEE that this is not! now, tell me what happened. i expect a full explanation."
-you rolled you eyes and told him, feeling a little pissed off about his crossed arms and tapping foot, although you couldn't fully blame him. the whole situation WAS a little silly, now that you have to say it out loud.
-he scoffed when you finished talking. such a silly thing! why the HELL didn't you immediately see a doctor? swelling is NEVER normal!
-how did he, a skeleton monster who had gone most of his life without so much as seeing a human, know more about human anatomy than a fully grown human adult?
-and how did he, an esteemed member of the royal guard, end up in a relationship with such a fool?
-"get yourself looking decent. we are visiting the hospital to get you proper treatment."
-'looking decent', you looked fi-! no, you didn't, nevermind.
UnderSwap:
Sans:
-"hey, y/n, Alphys let out training early, so i'm back! what are you doing?"
-you scrambled to hide the ice pack and hike your pants back over your ankle. "oh, uh. . . nothing," you said sheepishly in reply, a fake grin appearing on your face.
-"oohhhh, no no no. i know that look. you're hiding something. best be honest now."
-damn him! how DARE he know you so well!
-"i think i did something to my ankle," you muttered.
-"hmm. . . let me see."
-he walked over and inspected your ankle for a few moments.
-"it looks sprained. when did this start?"
-"a few days ago. i tripped and it started swelling."
-he gave your ankle ankther quick look.
-"and why didn't you tell me?"
-"well, i thought it would go away at first. i was going to tell you, if it didn't. i was just going to wait a few days."
-"well, there's no need! i'm taking you to a doctor."
-he helped you stand and let you use him as something like a crutch, so you wouldn't have to put too much weight on your injured foot.
Papyrus:
-you look up to see him standing, eyebrows furrowed (you know what i mean sans does it in the main game) looking at you.
-"anything you want to tell me?"
-"ah, nothing. . . i'm just gonna go to a doctor if this doesn't start getting better."
-you knew the look he was giving you. he wanted to know what happened.
-"i tripped a few days ago and my ankle started swelling. nothing major. it's just a little sore."
-"mmm. i'm sure. you have five minutes, then i'm taking you to a doctor," he said as he laid on the couch beside you.
-"no, Paps, there's really no need-" you were interupted by snoring. but you knew that didn't mean you were off the hook. he would be awake in five minutes EXACTLY, whether you were ready to go or not.
HorrorTale:
Sans:
-he kinda just stands there for a few moments after he sees you with the ice pack.
-ice pack means something's wrong, because he doesn't see food around, but his skull injury makes figuring anything else out difficult.
-ice pack. . . on your ankle. . .
-it doesn't matter what's wrong. he just knows something is. so, he comforts you! in the only way he knows how!
-which is a BONE-CRUSHING hug.
-and because you're sitting, and he's standing over you, leaning down to hug you, it's a very awkward angle. leading to a lot of bones jabbing into uncomfortable places.
-you know you can't really do anything to get him off of you, so you just wait it out.
-"i'm alright, Sans. it isn't anything major. i'm about to go to a doctor!"
-he was going to tell you to anyway. you just got that part out of the way.
-his time in the underground under Undyne's rule made him very paranoid about the health of those he loves, so no matter how big the injury, you MUST see a doctor.
-it's not up for debate.
-he drives you because he doesn't want you to have to put any more strain on your ankle.
-(should he even have a drivers license? questionable...)
Papyrus:
-he has a puzzled look on his face.
-that. . . he suspected that wasn't a good sign.
-"y/n. . . i don't suppose you want to tell me what is going on?"
-"oh," you nervously laughed. "no biggie. just tripped a few days ago, it kinds hurts. if it doesn't feel better tomorrow i'm seeing a doctor."
-"hmm. i shall hold you to that."
-you laughed. you bet he would.
-spoiler alert, he did.
(a/n: sorry if this is totally inaccurate to having a sprained ankle, it just seemed like a good scenario, and i was too in the writing groove ((once i actually started)) to do much research)
#undertale#underfell#underswap#horrortale#undertale au#undertale x reader#underfell x reader#underswap x reader#horrortale x reader#undertale sans x reader#underfell sans x reader#underswap sans x reader#horrortale sans x reader#undertale papyrus x reader#underfell papyrus x reader#underswap papyrus x reader#horrortale papyrus x reader
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hi plz help me if you can afford to? i have a medical appointment the day after tomorrow & nothing came in yesterday. plz im goddamn miserable & can't afford to miss it have enough for the appointment,
i need help paying for my HRT consult on the 29th & maybe the resulting prescription if that happens.. also being able to eat without getting sick would be great
you may know me cause i've recently spent months begging and trying to escape an extremely abusive & unsafe living situation without much luck, & trying to help my brother & 2yr old nephew not end up homeless.
i'm unable to work. fighting with chronic disability and my health is declining. like horribly. i'm having almost nonstop headaches and hallucinations, lights and distortions in my vision that are making it hard to read. it's hard to even do basic counting and getting harder to remember things and talk right. i'm fucking scared. i've been sick and it hasn't stopped getting worse for the past 4 years.
i have a doctor's appointment on the 22nd which i need 90 bucks to make sure i can pay for it. i also have a consultation for HRT on the 29th and that's.
stellar.
what's more is i was recently fucked over and my food stamps were discontinued. if you know anything about my situation it's that i live with people who intentionally ONLY let me have food that makes my sickness drastically worse and i can't go without eating either cause, i've almost ended up in the hospital from what happens if i don't eat anything at all for 2 days. but i'm also going to end up in the hospital if i keep eating the shit my family feeds me :')
at this point i feel like theres no hope of getting away from my family again. at the absolute least i'd like to finally be able to find out why i'm so sick after suffering for years and maybe find a way to make it hurt less.
rb's help a ton, but if anyone can afford to toss me any cash at all it would mean a lot. i really hate begging like this, but it's about the only way i'll even have a chance at making it to these appointments because my adopts are not selling :')
for those interested. you don't have to have a toyhouse account to buy my adopts, just be 18 years of age or older
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i completely forgot to do this omg only now remembered
so uhh, prepare for a lot of talk about The Exorcist. because i took notes. ill talk about shit in the order it happens in the movie. and yeah spoilers.
so first, the part that's in Iraq. i liked the quiet, very comforting. im very confused what's wrong with the old guy. he looks like a walking cane would help him a lot. more than the molly or whatever pills he takes. and also i was so confused why that statue mattered at all.
mom checks up on Reagan: "wind cannot be that cold in like usa the fuck you shivering for",, in hindsight, there's another reason for it to be so cold.
the film set: "damien karras spotted!!" @weirdlildude you have conditioned me to get excited whenever i see him. otherwise, "what the hells going on", i was so confused the whole time, mainly because i didnt know if the protest was real, or if everyone was actors. it was just very confusing. and when damien walks away: "sad pathetic man!!"
mom, Chris, is walking home: "ace attourney ass music" and "why'd she pay attention to that??" when she stops and watches the priests talking.
"what is with this movie and the sound design", just a general statement. the movie likes to contrast thick silences with really loud sounds.
Karras visits his mother: "pathetic man caught lying to his mother!!", when he says he's alright.
Chris and Reagan hang out: "girlypop ive got a chronic case of parent issues"
the other priest checks up on Karras: "losing faith? *eyebrow raise*"
Chris goes up to the attic to check the noise: "omg im like so bored", legit nothing was happening, was getting very bored. also i didnt write this in my notes, but Chris has a horrid haircut. its like a bowlcut but worse.
priest does stuff in the church: "do priests legit need to kneel everytime they approach the altar. doesnt that get like really tiring geez" and when the priest discovers the vandalised statue: "LMAOOO JGGIDJAGHJAFD FUCK YEAH"
Reagan's first doctors visit: "omg words that should never come out of a mothers mouth number 1 "my daughters not depressed" "
the director gets drunk at Chris' party and calls that one dude a nazi: "LMAOF "whats for dessert?😏" "
Karras has a dream: "doggy:)"
Reagan's second hospital visit: "oh god i hate horror stuff that takes place in a hospital", and "oh god i hate this why's she awake during this"
Karras is running on the track: "he's a runner he's a track star", when he's talking with the detective and leans on the chain fence "i want him to kabedon me like that", and when the conversation ends "tbh i did not fully understand that conversation but understanding that father karras is a little shit is enough"
Chris and Reagan return home and the detective is watching them: "this fucking creep ass detective", Chris and him start talking "i fucking hate this guy omg shut up", they talk more "this guy is so rude omg"
Chris hears Reagan scream and goes to check on her: "is uhh,, is this movie like pure horror? like that wasnt supposed to be comedic?". this is where i started to really be confused about the genre of the movie. like, i started to realise that it was not inciting any horror from me, and barely even like, anxiousness. like i did care for the characters, but its hard to really feel scared for them when the demon threatening them is chanting "let jesus fuck you", and puking constantly.
Chris goes to ask Karras for an exorcism: "why is the church so progressive in this??" like legit you're telling me the catholic church doesn't believe in posession, because science has advanced to explain the symptoms. that sounds like bullshit to me. in 1973? you're just lying.
Chris is desperate to help her daughter: "dude my parent issues be hitting hard"
Karras throws tap water onto Reagan: "i dont get it like. why did it react to the water?", i just dont get it. the movie doesn't really care to explain it. cuz i thought that the demon actually wouldn't be real because of that. or did Karras unintentionally bless the water by saying its holy? idk
when Karras and the older priest take a break from exorcising, and the old priest walks off: "is he gonna kill her. also am i supposed to understand what the pills he's taking are?". genuinely i have no fucking idea what the pills are that this old guy keeps taking, like they could just be breath mints for all i know.
Karras is sitting downstairs in the hall: "sorry he's so hot jeezums"
Karras is resolved to not let the demon kill Reagan: "oh shit karras be fighting FOR THIS GIRLS LIFE"
Chris opens the door to the detective: "OH MY GOD FUCKING GO AWAY YOU DETECTIVE"
Karras, uhm,, takes a leap of faith: "I FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENS I KNEW THIS AND STILL DEAR GOD NOOOOO",
"BUT ALSO KINDA COOL OF HIM TO DO THAT", it was kinda hot that he sacrificed himself, though he was probably just looking for a reason after his mom died.
Chris and Reagan talk to that one priest that knew Karras: "oh like she(Reagan)'s thanking karras for saving her? she recognised the collar and felt compelled to thank him?", wondering why Reagan gave a kiss to the priest.
this whole ending scene tbh: "jesus its so quiet again", this movie really likes its quiet silences.
detective talks to dyer: "LMAOOOOO"
credits: "DAMN I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE THE SOUND TRACK??", "lmao warner bros should add a "the exorcist" attraction into the universal studios park"
anywayy yeah its a fun movie, though i feel the need to read the book now to understand it fully ya know? feels like im missing something... also i know that it got popular cuz its so like "provocative" and stuff, but in this age i dont really get the hype. i guess it is still worth appreciating for furthering the art of film ya know.
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im gonna put like. the bulk of the details/medical stuff under the cut but! uh, totally fun news from yesterday, I had a seizure for the first time and spent a good chunk of the day in the ER
Obviously, this has never happened(that I'm aware of) to me before in my nearly-26-years of life. It only only last somewhere between 2-5mins according to Steph, although I was incredibly confused and disoriented for ~15mins after I came to. As much as the whole ordeal has sucked, I think the absolute scariest part was seeing Steph's face once I was coherent again. Like she's so stoic, has only cried a handful of times that I've know her, a veritable wall of stone in all ordeals. Seeing her well and truly scared for me shocked me back into the present real quick. I don't think I'm gonna be able to forget that face for awhile
The hospital did some scans + tests, although the majority of what those will mean will have to wait for more analysis. The doctor however, was very very certain this was epilepsy related, rather than bacterial/other causes. Obviously since they still need to analyze the tests tho, they have no idea if this is a one-off thing or if I'm gonna have to be on medication for the rest of my life
They're gonna have me on anti-seizure meds until the tests are back, just as a precaution though. Now that I've rested, I don't really feel dizzy/confused/weak anymore thankfully. My chronic back pain is defs worse from the tensing + my shoulder's a little fucked up, but I'm used to ache-y bones/joints and Im confident I can handle that for now
Anyways, I thought it would be important to let y'all know, cause a lot of y'all who follow me are friends/acquaintances. It's also a nice way to be like "hey, I wanna stay active to recover from this, but if I don't have the energy, here's why" too.
#personal#twas not a fun experience and i hope so much that its a one off thing#im also tired and wanna stay home#but steph is worried about leaving me home alone and wants me to come to work with her so she can keep an eye on me#which is. not a bad idea obvs#and her work is much much MUCH closer to our local hospital#so as tired as i am..i also dont mind bc i dont want to scare her again
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Re: weight loss
At the justifiable risk of offense, because no one needs to be commenting on anyone else's body... I've been worried that including your weight and temp with your potd posts was related to weight loss.
Worried because that kind of monitoring can so very easily lead to other very destructive and maladaptive behaviors.
Your body is yours to do with what you want, but I'm hoping I can reassure you that unless there's some underlying medical condition that's making your weight dangerous, you seem absolutely fine. Even if you gain more weight, having fat on your body is not inherently unhealthy.
The whole weight loss industry... I could rant for hours. And hours more about how the medical industry supports it. How BMI is an inherently problematic metric, made worse by being decontextualized and applied in ways it was not designed for. How calory counting and the whole concept of specific calories per day is just whole cloth made up with no medical basis. I could just rant for days, but this isn't the time or place...
So if I may ask, from a genuine place of concern, does this come from a body image issue? Some sort of dysmorphia? Or maybe some outside influence leading you to believe you need to be thinner?
I've seen so many friends be devoured by weight loss. You seem like such a wonderful person and weight loss disorders cause such unnecessary pain and struggle. No one deserves to live under that kind of stress...
no offense taken, i asked for open discussion with the hope and plan to receive it.
including the weight and temp checks with my potd posts isnt weight loss related, though i understand the thought process there, its fertility related, as im cycle tracking and the basal body temp is supposed to be linked to fertility cues.
i spent a fair number of years deeply anorexic, and im always fighting not to resort to the measures i once took to take control of my body, as thats a large part of what it was for me as well as body image and dismorphia issues. ive been in remission and healing from those issues since recovering from my first pregnancy in 2015. and its been difficult.
currently this weight loss has medical impetus. i went to a cunt doctor in may for curiosity concerning my fertility, and He had me do about 20 blood tests. one of those tests showed that my cholesterol was insanely high, dangerously high. the doctors suggestion was lose some weight, be more active, cut out fats. so im trying to do so safely.
its also in part that i am unhappy with my appearance, just slightly. i know having some fat is healthy and better for my body than having none, i just feel that i have a little more than i would like. i feel lethargic about half the week, i cant walk for more than 30 minutes or so (in part because of my bad knee, which im also working on), and im unsure of what strain my weight may put on my bad lungs and my fragile heart.
i could rant just as long about the medical industry, bmi and weight, as it all concerns to women and how its fucked, but my foster father had a heart attack recently with 100% blockage (dumb bastard drove himself to the hospital) and that as well as his many cancers, my foster mothers heart/ liver/ kidney failures. its all scared me rather harshly about my own health.
thank you for your concern, currently i just want to lose a little fat and gain some muscle, so i can keep up with my Owner on long walks and hikes, so i can keep up with my future kids (if i can have them) for as long as they want me to, so i can have enough strength in my body to hold my grandkids one day. because i dont as yet feel that i could if i got the chance.
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#warning this is just dark depressing shit i have on my mind and i need to just scream it somewhere#i genuinely need help. i need someone professional to help unravel the shit that's running through my brain right now#it is not good that i keep imagining harming myself just to get into a fucking hospital to get things addressed#it isn't serious yet but it's getting more frequent and im really scared of what i will pick when it gets worse#im barely functioning as a human and i don't currently have the resources to help me develop better habits#i don't have a support system irl. when you drop the religion your family raised you in-#-and your friends all live 1000s of miles away it's real fucking lonely#the list of things to address with a doctor is so fucking long and i cannot afford that visit#i only work one part time job and im too stressed to do more than that how the fuck will i ever afford anything#things are so fucked rn im constantly in pain and i keep not eating enough and then my food goes bad and it's such a waste#trying to plan anything scares the shit out of me. genuinely don't know why i make plans anymore#i can't even create or keep promises about the things i said i would create and it feels so purposeless#it's like the only kind of happiness i can get is all just diving into fandom and acting like im so funny#like yeah im hilarious huh for enjoying this shit and being so loud on the on site i ever use#and then i fucking hide from the real world because i can't take an ounce of negativity or i will have a nervous breakdown#i want to be known and loved but god at what cost i do not have the sanity to open up like that#i want to be held and have someone check on ME for once. have someone be kind to me for once.#instead of swallowing everything because im so afraid of being hated instead#i shouldn't even be afraid of being hated but damn if my trauma didn't rear its ugly head#and remind me that the people who should have cared the most didn't give enough of a shit to try#and make me wanna die about it#i need to get out of this fucking room but god it's so hard to make my body move#when it's so easy to just lie here watch reruns of whatever proves im not worth a damn#my room is a mess and i was gonna do laundry and i was going to run errands today#but no apparently any time i have off work is dedicated to either distracting myself with blorbos#or wallowing in my miserable shit#and you bet it feels fucking pathetic. like i should know better. i should be better. im not.#im no good honestly. i can't even let myself scream or cry loud enough so that the roommate i don't talk to will be concerned.#why bug him when we've established being chill and knowing nothing whatsoever about each other#i can't be someone else's burden again. being a burden is what fucking kills me.
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man. sometimes i forget that things are like... real. and then i realize that wait this is all happening and real life and get stressed out and just,,, realize how fucked up things are
not just in my own life but in general and like. bro. yall. we have made up so much!! and all thats TRULY real is nature and love and hhhhhhh
also its messed up that my mother is so abusive. and my dad just,,, stands by and excuses it all. and then my sister treats me like shit too wtf. my brain literally doesnt work right! also wtf @ my parents for creating me and then making me wish they hadnt. messed up!!!
idk im tired of realizing new things that hurt everyday lol and i probably have cptsd which is rly fun and im disassociating a lot and also idk how im gonna make it throughhhh i need a new doctor and i need different meds and i need genuine help. but there is no help to be had for me in the way that i need it bc theres SO much wrong w me and my situation lmao
#dont rblog thanks 💙💙💙#just. i am tired of feeling dramatic but i also need to be taken seriously lmao#i need help! and there is none available!#so i will sit here and rot until i hit a spot where i cannot take it anymore#my new meds are probably fucking with me but my doctor is shit and i cant switch#im so close to saying smth to some medical professional or emailing my counselor and saying#hey i want to die and I've almost attempted a few times. but i can guarantee the hospital will make it worse#what do i do lol#also my mother is abusive and i have no way out#suicide tw#medication cw#abuse tw#parent mention#im scared to go to work tomorrow bc i have some fairly visible s*lf h*rm shit now RIP#and i dont think im fit to work#but i need to be out of the house!!
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I had a breakdown for a few hours in the middle of the night, because I realized that if I end up in the hospital again that nobody would visit me because nobody cares about me..
#its just everything is getting worse and a few weeks agao i almost had to go to the hospital again (but i didnt because of covid)#i didnt want to add more stress for the doctors working there#but idk it seems like everythings getting worse and im scared that itll get to the point where i cant move anymore#and y’know the only thing in life that i want to do is play the drums and how do i do that if i cant move??#its just scary and im still waiting for the reply from tge hospital (its taking even longer now because of covid)#and people keep telling me that its because of my posture (i cant control that my spine is fucked up) or because of my sitting position#(its the only way i can sit comfortably without a lot of pain)#and im just so worried because i dont know whats going to happen#sorry for ranting i need to shut up
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anyway I want to apologize and just let y’all know that I haven’t been ignoring anyone I’ve just been going through a lot and if you wanna hear about it I’ll explain in the tags
#anyway i went tothe doc on friday bc i was experiencing symptoms of panic attacks and he thinks that i have a hyperthyriod and we’re having#a bloodtest done (i got it drawn friday) but im unable to sleep (i get 3 hours and then have to force myself back to sleep)#and im like 95% that what he thinks i have is what he thought and i just want to get in and confirm and get on medication for it bc#im livinf like shit and having panic attacks constantly and having digestive issues and just am casually feeling like im Dying even though#im pretty sure im not#and my mom wants me to wait to see our new primary care doc to check it instead of going to the er just so i can stop living like this#(it literally only popped up a month ago but its gotten progressively worse with time)#and im just irrationally worried that im gonna die bc i wrote it off as anxiety from my dad passing until just last week)#its just horrible bc im already having more problems since friday and im very scared and anxious but i have to keep myself calm#and i just wanna cry and go to the fucking doctor i hope my primary care doc doesnt make me wait even longer for an ultrasound#but everything wasnt open (aside from the hospital) for the weekend and its an even longer wait bc everything is closed for the holiday
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hey there again!!!
might i slide in this fine ask box with another HC request?
if yes, then could you please write some HCs where uf and ht sanses and papyruses (seperate of course) s/o gets put in a hospital for a lil bit? you can decide what happened to s/o. maybe a bad heatstroke cuz its summer or something (totally not because its a bad heatwave where im living rn haha nope). idk, i just crave angst or hurt/comfort again from my fave skeletons.
if you're not up for this, its totally fine!!
thank you, have a chill day/night B)
- 🌌 anon whos sunburns arent stinging that much anymore B)
*Evil cackling* OH-HO-HO, yOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MONSTER YOU HAVE UNLEASHED…… I am an evil being who feeds off of angst and pain, and you’ve given me ample opportunity to make some of that sweet sweet angst >:-)))))))))
I tried to keep it ambiguous as to what you’re in for, mostly because I want you to be able to imagine heatstroke and me to be able to think “hahahah stab stab”! ^^
Also!!! The healthcare system in some other countries is fucking insane (like??? You guys have to pay to not die??????) so I’ll be going off of what I know about the healthcare system in Sweden where it’s free. (At least I’m 99% sure it’s free, except for like. Small things. For example, my antidepressants. I had to buy those myself when I was still on them.)
UF + HT BROS WHEN S/O IS IN THE HOSPITAL
Red (Underfell Sans):
He’s panicking so so bad, he’s terrified. What if you die?
Curses out anybody who tries to keep him from you, including the poor nurse who’s just doing their job
Actually he just. curses in general. He’s just spewing cuss words to seem angry instead of scared because That’s Definitely Better
Most likely out of all four to physically lash out at… well, anybody (except you obviously) lol
Red hates hospitals too, to make matters worse. He doesn’t know why, but they make him feel uncomfortable.
If somebody did this to you purposely and he’s not allowed by your side, he’s going out to find the person and kick their ass during that time lol
If nobody did this to you, he’s pacing and cursing and jfc Red, you do realise there are other people here right enjdjdjdjsjsk
This fucker tries to pull a “pfff nah i was never worried” but like. Red. Darling. Light of my life. Stars in my sky. Center of my universe. Bitch of my heart. Everyone can see right through your “anger” and literally your shaking voice is so not convincing. Get a better poker face and voice.
With some prodding, admits that finehewasscaredyou’ddieandhethoughthisheartstoppedforasecondwhichisweird’causehedoes’tevenhaveaheartanywaysthat’sovernowsowhocares
(He’s not great at expressing himself but it’s still progress)
WILL be staying right by you as you recover. You’ve no choice. (You do actually, he respects you and will back off if you tell him to)
Edge (Underfell Papyrus):
Oh no. Oh no.
Edge is trying his very best not to show any emotions but he’s not good at it because like. It doesn’t take a genius to see that him screeching angrily at people and demanding for the doctors to fix this is actually him poorly masking his fear. Edge doesn’t have the best poker face lol
He’s so pissed if he can’t stay right next to you the whole time. You’re his S/O!! What kind of bullshit is this?!
If you do need to be left alone with doctors and such things, Edge will do one or two things depending on why you're in the hospital, how bad what you’re in for is and for how long he can’t see you.
If you’re here for something like heatstroke - AKA something not brought on by somebody else - he’ll call friends and such while pacing and somewhat frantically share your current condition.
However, if anybody did this to you; and you’re in bad shape… Well, even fucking Satan will cower at the brutality of Edge’s revenge.
When he’s allowed to be, he’s by your side and - depending on why you’re in and for what - he might nag you for being careless, reassure you it wasn’t your fault, reassure you in general, and/or just stay silent.
It’s barely noticeable, but just noticeable enough, that you can tell that he’s shaking.
All it takes is a “are you okay?” For him to break and confess how scared he was.
For a moment he was back Underground and it was horrible and he felt so powerless and he hates that. He’s so, so happy you’re okay and he- he swears he’ll be with you on your way to recovery. Please just never get hurt again.
Dusk (Horrortale Sans):
If you thought Red and Edge were scared, just know it’s nothing compared to the absolute terror he feels.
Dusk knows how fragile the human body can be. He’s seen horrific things happen to humans and monsters alike and he’s always hyper-aware of just how easy it’d be to kill and/or hurt you.
Logically, he knows you won’t die, he knows human anatomy well enough to know this is something you’ll bounce back from, but his instincts are going haywire and all he can think of are the mangled corpses back Underground. It doesn’t matter whether your condition has anything to do with broken limbs or not, because those pictures are what his mind is forcing onto him.
He refuses to leave your side. If he’s forced away from you by nurses/doctors/staff, he’ll protest but if he really can’t be by you for your safety, he’ll be anxiously hovering as close by as he possibly can. Whenever he’s allowed to touch you, he’s practically glued onto you.
If he’s sure it’s just the two of you, and you’re unconscious, he’ll probably cry.
He… He hates being reminded of your mortality. He hates the idea that any day could be your last. He doesn’t know what he’d do if you were gone.
(He’d dust, probably.)
If somebody else got your purposely hurt, he’s going to hunt them down after a while (after you’ve recovered enough for him to be comfortable leaving you alone for a bit). He’s not going to kill them, but he might rough them up a bit -- but most likely, he’ll just intimidate them and/or threaten them. (It’d be a different story if you were murdered.)
Whenever you’re conscious, he’ll do pretty much anything you say, so long as it won’t get you anymore hurt or risk stunting your recovery.
When you’re released from the hospital, he’ll be by your side nearly 24/7 because he hates the idea of you getting hurt again just because he wasn’t there to protect you.
Aster (Horrortale Papyrus):
Tries to look calm and composed, but he does about as poor of a job as his brother. He does better in that he doesn’t act out or get in the way of the nurses, but he’s also crying and shaking and sobbing and can’t stop.
You getting injured triggers him pretty badly. If you’re not bleeding, it’ll probably be “only” a bad anxiety attack, but if there’s any blood involved it’s escalating into a full-blown panic attack.
He’s a nurse himself, but I doubt he’d be allowed to work with the other nurses when it comes to you because of how unsteady he is. He’s not sure whether he’s thankful for it or not, because he doesn’t trust himself to do a good job but he also wants to be there for you. He trusts his colleagues, but it’s still nerve-wracking.
Just like the others, he’s glued to your side when he’s allowed to be. Very metaphorically. He’s the best of them all at giving you space, partially because he’s just more respectful lol and partially because he’s a nurse so he knows not to smother you with physical affection until you’re in the clear.
If somebody caused you to go into this state, he will just like Dusk go and find them. He won’t do anything physical, but he does intimidate the person very effectively. He’s a terrifying giant and he knows how to use that to his advantage.
When you’re fine again, he’ll be acting anxious and protective for a while. He feels really guilty about it (because he should be comforting you - plus, he’s a nurse! He’s seen way worse things on his job) but you’ll have to give him comfort. This whole thing didn’t inspire much positive feelings in him and it stressed him out a lot, it may honestly take more of a toll on him than it does you.
#imagines tag#undertale imagines#undertale headcanons#undertale au#horrortale sans#y/n x sans#reader x sans#sans#sans x y/n#sans x reader#uf papyrus#y/n x papyrus#papyrus x y/n#reader x papyrus#papyrus#papyrus x reader#underfell#horrortale#🌌 anon
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Take Me Back To The Night We Met
Dallas Winston x Johnny Cade x Reader
trigger warnings: character death, swearing, yelling, ANGST
premise: based on the song The Night We Met by Lord Huron. The rumbles been finished, the socs officially driven out, but Johnny's still dying, and Dally might not be able to handle that. Oh god, why can't you just go back to the night you met
Italics- memories
{not me making the first proper poly outsiders story really angsty. Sorry not sorry but I heard the song and- this happened}
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"We did it! The socs are gone!" The loud cheers of the greasers filled your ears.
You grinned, laughing along with the others until you found Dallas tugging at your arm, when you turned to see his expression your face fell, "What's wrong?"
"Johnny- gettin worse-"
As soon as your partner choked out the words you began to panic, "Is he okay?"
"I don't know for how much longer... We gotta go see him-"
You nodded, "Lets- lets go then- we gotta-"
"He- Ponyboy-" He was quickly running off, dragging the boy off the ground and explaining as you ran up to the street, where you could see Buck's beat up t-bird parked.
"Hurry up! Hurry up!" You could hear Dally urging him along.
"I'm going!" Ponyboy hissed, quickly skirting around you and jumping into the back.
You quickly got in, and as soon as Dallas got the car started you were shooting off down the road.
The tension in the car was thick, anxiety rolling off all three of you in waves.
It was a few months ago and You'd just gotten out of work, and normally Johnny and Dallas would be on the corner waiting for you, but they hadn't been there. Somehow, you knew something was wrong.
By the time you'd made it to the lot, most of the gang was there. Steve met you up by the road, '(y/n) don't go down there- you- you aren't gonna like it'
That was what had gotten you in a panic, 'steve whats going on?'
'it's- it's- Johnny-'
Immediately you were pushing past him, running down into the lot, even as both Steve and Soda tried to stop you.
When you'd finally pushed through them, you'd found Johnny, beaten and bloody, face buried in Dally's jacket, still sobbing.
'oh- god Johnny...'
With Dally's speeding it was only a matter of time before a cop was pulling the car over, and you glanced back at Ponyboy, "Look sick- I will too- Dal say your taking us to the hospital, it's true enough."
He nodded, and the cop knocked on the window, leaning over as Dallas lowered it, "Good evening Officer-"
"Alright Bud, where's the fire?"
"The uh- the kid-" Dally gestured back to where Ponyboy was slumped in the back, "Fell over on 'is motorcycle- nearly took out the babe, I'm takin 'em to the hospital."
The man frowned, "Are they real bad? Could you use an escort?"
"Do I look like a doc to you?" He snapped, "Yeah we could use an escort."
The officer seemed to hear the panic in his voice as he nodded, heading back to his car. Dallas continued to tap his fingers on the wheel anxiously, "Come on, come on."
You bit your lip, "God Dal why'd we end up in this mess- Johnny's-"
"I knew I was wrong. I knew I was fucking wrong," He muttered, pulling out behind the cop, "I was just trying to protect you guys- you know? Figured there's only room for one person hard like me in a relationship- you know? That way you two would at least be okay and look what fucking came from it!"
You took a shaky breath as he slapped the wheel, "Dal..."
"You know if I hadn't tried to keep you and him from ending up like me he wouldn't be in this mess! If he'd been smart like me he wouldn'ta ran into that church and you wouldn't have followed him! That's what you get for helping people- isn't it? A couple editorials in the paper and a whole lotta hurt!"
He stopped, glancing back at Ponyboy, "You better wise up kid- you get tough like me and you don't get hurt! You get tough and no one can touch you!"
Ponyboy only groaned in response.
Dallas sighed, turning to look at you, "God (y/n) I don't know- what are we gonna do if we-"
"He's going to be fine Dal!" You snapped.
"You don't know that!"
You shook your head, "He's gonna be fine because I don't want to think about what will happen if he isn't!"
It was only a month or so after Dallas, Dallas of all people, put what the three of you were thinking into words.
You'd decided to take a trip down to Texas, there was no real reason, but still, the three of you had piled into Buck Merril's t-bird, racing down back roads and pulling off into fields at night.
Johnny had fallen asleep in the back just after sunset, and you could still feel the cool glass behind your head, 'god dal, aren't you tired yet? maybe we should pull off now...'
'I was thinking we get a motel somewhere.' he yawned.
'where are we gonna find a motel at? I'm about ready to fall asleep as it is...'
He chuckled, 'don't worry about it Doll... hell climb back with Johnny, I'll wake you up when we get to town.'
Soon you were pulling up outside the hospital, hurrying to get Pony out of the car as Dallas thanked the cop. As soon as the man was gone Dally was grabbed your hand and pulling you to hurry through the building, "Come on, come on!"
It seemed to take only the blink of an eye to get to Johnny's room, and you only half seemed to register the doctors words, "I'm sorry- he's dying."
"We gotta see 'im," Dallas glared at the man, "We've got to see him!"
"Please-" You half choked on the room, trying to look around him into the room.
With a sigh, he stepped to the side, "Go on-"
In an instant you were rushing to Johnny's side, "Johnny..."
You could feel Dallas behind you, "Johnnycake?"
"Heya (y/n)- Dal..." Johnny tried to pull a weak smile as he looked up at you.
"We won-" Dallas reached out, grabbing his hand, "We beat the socs- chased 'em right out of your territory."
"Fighting's no good.... useless...." Johnny half sighed.
You took a shaky breath, "There still writing those editorials- talkin about you, calling you a hero-- I'm proud of you baby-- we both are."
Dallas nodded, and Johnny's head half tipped back in a grin, "You'll be okay... I love you..."
"Johnny--" Dallas half choked.
Ponyboy elbowed past both of you, "He's my best friend--"
Your eyes were half clouded with tears as you stepped back, little moments filling your memory.
It was the state fair, and you were with them.
'come on Dal- your not scared of the ferris wheel are you?' Johnny half taunted.
you grinned, 'you've gotta go on- for us'
'i hate both of you'
Johnny mumbled something to Ponyboy, and then suddenly the room wasn't the same anymore. Almost as if someone had left. You didn't need to look back at the bed to know.
It was a late night, months ago
'(y/n)... (y/n).... (y/n)....'
'what dal?'
'johnnycakes is complaing about wanting cuddles'
Johnny scoffed, 'uh, excuse me, but that is entirely you, Dal.'
you chuckled 'i'll be there in a second'
He was gone.
You could hear Ponyboy's breath hitch, and, with shaky hands you reached forward, pushing hair out of Johnny's face, "Never could keep that hair of yours back could you baby?"
Dallas let out a noise that felt too close to a sob, "that's what you get for trying to help people Jonnycakes- that's what you get."
The lump in your throat couldn’t be pushed back anymore and you choked on a sob, tears falling from your eyes as you turned to Dallas only to see he wasn’t there.
He'd already whirled away from Johnny's bed, banging a fist against the wall, "Damn it Johnny! Oh god Johnny no..."
Dallas was gone down the hall before you could blink.
In a haze, you found yourself following Ponyboy through the hospital, being handed a jacket it took you a beat to long to remember was Johnny's.
Slowly you slid it on, almost instantly dragged back in memory again.
It was been late.
You hadn't planned on going out, but when you saw the light out in the lot you had to check it out. You'd found Johnny and Dally, sitting around a small fire they'd made.
'what are you doing out here?' you asked, sitting down.
Johnny shrugged, 'better than home.'
'beats rotting there.' Dallas nodded.
You had sat in silence for a few minutes before you sighed, rubbing at your arms, "awfully cold out here.'
'here' Johnny shrugged off his jacket, dropping it around your shoulders.
You were grateful for the jacket, but it didn't feel right. God all you wanted to do was go back, back to before all of this.
Somehow Ponyboy led you out of the hospital, and by some miracle you made it back to the Curtis house.
Soda opened the door, frowning, "What's wrong? Where have you two been?"
Ponyboy took a shaky breath, "Johnny's dead... Dallas- he left- (y/n)... I don't think they..."
Soda was already pulling you inside, and pushing you to sit down as Pony explained to everyone else.
"What do you mean Dallas is gone?" Darrel asked.
"He ran out," Your own voice surprised you, "Before it was the three of us it was just him and Johnny- he doesn't know how to live without him-"
"So even Dally has a breaking point." Two-Bit muttered.
Distantly, you heard a phone ring.
It has been a date night- ‘god (y/n) why you takin so long?'
'don't rush 'em Johnnycakes, gotta fix that pretty face of theirs'
'Johnny's being pushy? that's something I wouldn't think I'd see.' you chuckled, coming out of the bathroom.
'well the movies gonna start!'
Darry was talking to the group, "That was Dally- the cops are after him, we gotta meet 'im at the lot-"
Before the words were out of his mouth you were up and running, you couldn't get back to Johnny but you could still get back to Dallas.
It was midday, and you were wandering down the Tulsa streets
'Dal slow down! We don't walk as fast as you!' Johnny called.
He laughed, 'i bet if you tried you could keep up shortstack'
'i'm not short!' you protested.
'well then keep up!'
Down the street, toward the lot, faster, faster faster, you urged yourself. You can't loose him too.
it was early, you were sitting out on the porch with Johnny, watching the rain. Dallas had come out of somewhere, running and breathing hard, 'you got room for one more?'
You could almost see the lot, it was just out of view, you had to hurry, had to hurry to get back-
It was lunch time and you were at the diner with the gang, wedged into a seat between Johnny and Dallas, laughing.
The glow of the street light filled your vison now.
It was dark and you and Dallas hurried through the street, calling out for Johnny.
'i'm here! I'm here!' he called.
You threw your arms around him, 'you scared me!'
Dallas chuckled, 'both of us.'
Dallas was sprinting down the street glancing back every now and again, distantly you could see flashing lights behind him.
It was Autumn and you were back at the fair in the chilly night. Lights were flashing, people were laughing and you were with your boys.
Dallas was reaching back, into his waistband, grabbing something as police cars came to a halt.
It was spring, and day trips were frequent, but this was the first with just you, Dallas and Johnny. You'd found a lake, and now the three of you were spending a day by it's side.
Dallas was raising the gun, but so were the police officers, distantly you wondered if one of them was the same that had given you the escort.
It was years ago, and you had met Sodapop in class.
Shots were being fired, and you could distantly hear yourself yelling, he was falling, falling falling.
It was years ago and Sodapop was inviting you to meet his friends. It was years ago and a boy with big brown eyes was smiling at you from across the lunch table, turning to the sharp nosed blond next to him, who leaned across the table to tell a joke.
Dallas was on the ground, and as the gang who at some point caught up to you were screaming at the officers who'd put him there.
You crumpled to the ground. No, not him. Not Johnny. Not the both of them.
"Oh god take me back!" You were yelling, sobbing, as they were trying to take him away, "Take me back to when we first met! Maybe we won't fuck it up this time!"
But Soda was pulling you back, even as you promised, "I wouldn't let you fuck it up this time- just take me back!"
#the outsiders#the outsiders x reader#dallas winston#dallas winston x reader#dally winston x readre#dally x reader#johnny x reader#johnny cade x reader#johnny cade#teddy06#teddy 06#teddy 06 writes#teddy06 writes
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lavender latte: vi
(T (for now!))
hawks | takami keigo x reader
ao3
chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 3 || chapter 4 || chapter 5 || chapter 7 ||
masterlist
word count: 6.8k
finally. god.
warnings: none really! reader’s foot booted, but that’s about it.
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well. here we are. thank u to everyone for reading this sweet, sweet story. we’re not through it yet, but i’m happy to offer a meal with this chapter. enjoy lovies. beta’ed by the lovely love @keiqos.
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You had several problems after returning to your apartment from the hospital. One of your coworkers was nice enough to drive you and your things back, but quickly the niceties stopped and your vague hell began.
Exclusively being on crutches sucked. Navigating your apartment and trying to live somewhat normally was a massive pain. Even just showering was a task that sapped most of your energy. Standing one-legged and balancing made your body ache with a deep soreness, especially the first few days you returned.
This was not even to mention the unpleasant dreams you were having.
‘Unpleasant’ & ‘dreams’ were a nice way of putting it.
You could recall that during your first night in the hospital, one of your doctors told you of the possibility of experiencing a few post-traumatic symptoms. Considering how out of it you were at the time, it was unsurprising how you brushed it off.
The reality was much harder to ignore.
...
Cars revving.
Shouting.
Shattering—
Your eyes flashed open, chest heaving and brow covered in a fine sheen of sweat.
Fuck that.
It was the same dream, an obvious recreation of the stimuli of the event. Though it was scattered in your memory, the dreams made it horribly vivid and vibrant despite lacking detail. The sounds and smells of that day clung to you as you shook your head, forcing yourself into wakefulness.
Your comforter was thrown from your body, and you shivered as cold air rushed over you. As jarred as you were, you still swung your legs off the bed, readjusting your boot and your aching leg, half-heartedly glaring at your crutches.
Your apartment wasn’t terribly set up to get around with your limited mobility, but your difficulty functioning didn’t help your overall mental state. Everything was just harder with the boot on, and you did your best to work with it.
Being locked up in your apartment added to the hellishness of it. You were so used to the stimuli and social environment of the teashop, it felt like a cold water shock when you were confined to your home entirely alone except for your cats.
You could, of course, try and venture out into the world. But, it was still winter and the ice-covered sidewalks didn’t seem like the best place to try and crutch around.
Within the first day or two, you resigned yourself to your three-week fate of being holed up.
You had a laundry list of things you could do. Shows and movies to watch, places in your house to clean, your cats to pet, but—
You still had far too much time on your hands.
A lot of your newfound time in the first few days was spent on your back, leg propped up, and draped in ice bags, musing over Hawks.
Hawks.
Holy fuck.
You couldn’t avoid it, couldn’t stop it. Just thinking about him made every part of you swirl and thrum like you were listening to some sort of contently-chorded song and you were more than happy to play it on repeat until your ears bled. Maybe that feeling towards Hawks had always been there (it had), but now you accepted it and stopped holding yourself back as much.
You never thought the idea of someone squeezing your shoulder would send you into literal fits of giggles and butterflies, but boy, did it. Not to mention all of the careful touches and gentle words you two had shared in the aftermath of the attack, though the memories were hazy. What you did remember and cherish was the warmth of him, quirk activated or not. Each time you recalled it, your gut fluttered and your hands twitched.
Your ceiling was the most interesting place to look in your apartment. The plain texture was the perfect canvas to allow your memories of the sweet interactions the two of you had shared to play like comforting reruns. The commercial breaks of these daydreams were the texts exchanged between you and Hawks.
Keigo couldn’t stop thinking about you either.
It wasn’t as distracting as it once was, as he had been more liberal with letting himself text you. The high number of messages between the two of you was maybe ridiculous, but he was a fast texter and you seemed to have plenty of jokes and banter for him to share in.
As good as the texting was, it was also nice to check-in on you and your recovery. You seemed more annoyed than anything else, but Keigo wasn’t so much of an idiot as to think you weren’t in any pain or struggling at all. Though you didn’t explicitly tell him or show him, he was familiar with the pains of healing and could infer some things about your state.
Keigo tried to brighten your day as he could. ‘Hawks’ still had plenty of hero work to do, especially with the information extracted from the recently detained syndicate members. Despite this, he took as much time as he could to stop and send you little snippets and messages which hopefully would help you smile a little.
It did, of course. Just talking to Hawks did.
You had moments of awareness a few times a day where you had to remind yourself that, yes, (Y/N), you were just casual friends and deeply enamored with the number two hero and that sentiment was at least partially returned.
You had a lot of time to wonder to what extent the feelings were returned. They obviously weren’t entirely one-sided, right?
It was completely possible that they were, but you did your best to shake off the thought.
It was more likely that notorious bachelor and flirt, pro hero Hawks, just wanted a fuck with some feelings. To fuck with some feelings, right?
Though, he did say that he cares about you.
But, you definitely can care about someone you only want to fuck.
You wished you had some sort of definitive answer. The murkiness of it all just made the sweetness of the past and the texts of the present seem a bit sour.
Confessing to Hawks was daunting and terrifying. Not to mention, it felt a bit juvenile, all of it. People weren’t supposed to get melty crushes like this past high school, right? Especially not ones this deep on someone who couldn’t possibly feel the same as you, right?
During one of these moments of uncomfortable clarity, your phone beeped as you rested on the couch. Despite not even seeing the message, you knew it would be Hawks.
You grabbed your phone, clicking open the newest message.
[birdboy]: hey hey angel
[birdboy]: look at this fucker i found
The image attached was a photo of Hawks standing next to one of his own billboards, advertising some sort of sports drink. The photo had obviously been taken with a timer, the angle of the photo tilted as Hawks and the billboard were quite small in the frame. It added to the charm of the photo, the way Hawks was holding a feather blade to the throat of his own advert. You could even tell through the pixels he was wearing a wide smile as he did so, wings spread behind him
You snorted.
You and Hawks are just friends, you reminded yourself.
[you]: looks like a punk bitch 2 me dude
[you]: kinda uncanny resemblance tho
[birdboy]: i agree
[birdboy]: he’s hot tho
You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you readjusted on the couch. You weren’t disagreeing, not at all.
[you]: not wrong
[you]: still, punk bitch
[birdboy]: :^(
[birdboy]: feelings = hurt
[birdboy]: please tell me the photo is funny
[birdboy]: it took like five tries
[you]: very funny, im gonna save it and sell when im short on cash
[birdboy]: my publicist will blacklist u
[you]: i’d like to see them try
[birdboy]: is that a challenge angel????
[you]: a promise
There was a break in the messages, though Hawks appeared to be typing.
[birdboy]: unrelated but
[birdboy]: how are you doing?
You paused, taking stock of your disheveled, sleepy self. You were only a few days out of the hospital and you definitely could’ve been worse off.
[you]: im okay!!!
[you]: sore and tired honestly
[birdboy]: :^(
[birdboy]: i'm glad to hear its not worse at least
[birdboy]: ill send u lots more embarrassing photos
[birdboy]: a million angel
[you]: my hero <3
It all was surreal and mentally impossible to avoid.
You really, really liked Hawks and had for a long while.
...
Keigo spent most of the rest of the day busy with patrols and work for the Commission, much to his chagrin. He hardly got a chance to text you. It reminded him of his reality as a pro, his fast-paced nature and how he truly couldn’t slow down, not at that point anyway. He had a brand and habitual way of being that was standard. Even for you, he wasn’t sure if he could slow down, even if he wanted to or needed to.
The idea scared him, pieces of his reality.
But, at the same time, Keigo hadn’t ever felt like this before. The weird, but incredibly alluring and comfortable heat in his chest made him feel like he’d do anything for you. Fuck, he’d fly to the stars and move them if he could, if that’s what it took.
Maybe he even wanted to.
Keigo couldn’t become a different person, for anyone, that’s not how things worked. But if getting closer to you meant... adjusting, he could do that. Easily. He was adaptable as all hell and he’d be glad to use it for something that made him feel good instead of hollow.
Keigo busily flew the day away. As the afternoon turned to night, the sky going pink and purple with dusk, he settled on top of a taller office building. It looked down on a street market, its smells and sounds wafting up to him on his perch.
It gave him an idea.
A good one.
You were inspecting your fridge with a grimace. Balancing on your crutches and being counter-weighed by the boot on your foot made your angry stance a whole lot less intimidating, but it was the sentiment that counted.
Several days post-hospital had done a number on your food supply. The fridge was empty except for a few nearly expired items and condiments. The dry shelves weren’t looking much better.
The shrill sound of your ringtone from the couch made your jump, nearly falling. You teetered back over to it, eye-widening at the caller ID.
[birdboy] calling...
Hawks had never called you before.
You quickly picked up the call, “...Hello?”
“Hey, angel!” Hawks was chipper on the other line. “What’re you up to?”
“Currently?” You hummed, turning forlornly to your kitchen. “Thinking about how I either need to order groceries or order dinner before committing to my couch for the rest of the night. Why? You don’t usually call.”
“I don’t,” Hawks’s smile was apparent in his voice, even through the receiver. “But, I had an idea.”
“Shoot.”
“I might just be near a super good takeout spot. How hard would it be for me to convince you to let me drop some food by your place? My treat.”
You didn’t reply for a second.
Stunned.
“Are you sure?”
“More than, dove. I’m off the rest of the night, anyways.”
Oh.
That gave you an idea—
An idea that would surely push the envelope of your feelings.
Let it.
“Okay, I’m in. One condition.” You bit your lip, willing your stomach to seize fluttering.
“You name it. This place is really good and—”
“I have been going a little stir crazy, and,” You cut him off, squeezing your eyes shut in anticipation, “how hard would it be to convince you to come over and stay awhile?”
Hawks was silent.
Your stomach dropped.
“Wait, I-I mean—” You stuttered, trying to gather yourself, but this time Hawks cut you off.
“Like, to hang out?” Hawks sounded shocked on the other line.
“Yes.”
You kept your breathing even and prayed it didn’t read over the call.
“God, dove. I’d love to. I can be over in like ten—”
“Wait,” You fisted the fabric of your sweats. “Can I have a little more time? For myself and my apartment.”
Hawks chuckled on the other end of the line, “Sure, angel. Thirty sound better?”
You let out a sigh of relief, falling on to the back of your couch, “Sounds perfect.”
Keigo decided to tease a bit, his heart pounding in his chest almost painfully. He knew from day one that you were bold, but this was a treat. He had to spare back, just a little.
“Though, dove, I’m sure you look more than perfect yourself. You always do.” He didn’t wait for your response, either out of fear of what you’d say or being a bit smug, he wasn’t sure.
Keigo hung up the call, burying his face in his gloves to try and stifle the blush on his cheeks, though it hardly helped.
It didn’t have to.
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Thirty minutes later and you were mostly sorted.
You managed to throw yourself into the shower, tossing on something half-way decent, but still comfortable. Had to keep it casual.
Crutching around your apartment, you picked up what clutter you could, mind spinning. Hawks coming over to your fucking apartment filled you with elated, and yet terrifying, anxiety. A few times while cleaning, you legitimately paused to muffle quiet screams in your hand at the prospect.
You felt like you were going to burst.
Keigo did too, notably.
He took the time to fly all the way back to his apartment, take the world’s fastest shower, and throw on some clothes other than his costume. Going back to get food, his hands shook as he handed the bills to the starry-eyed vendor who he’d just written an autograph for.
You’d sent a quick text just before he’d left with a description of your balcony, so neither of you would have to figure out how to let him in through the roof.
As he flew to your place, Keigo felt like he was going to implode.
He didn’t ‘hang out’ with people. Nope, far too busy for anything like that. He was a compulsory workaholic, it was part of his mental brand of being (or, mental ‘branding’, maybe). The closest he got to casual time with folks was the preamble before a hookup or the time he had spent at the tea shop with you. Actually going to spend time with someone, casually, and it was you? It was all new and terrifying.
But, above all? Exciting.
The whole situation opened many doors, all of which Keigo pictured and picked apart as he neared your apartment. There were so many potential situations to appraise and plan for, he felt overwhelmed by it all.
The opportunity to spend some... time with you outside of the tea shop was a necessity, right? Keigo’s original idea had been to drop off some food and banter for a while, but the idea of spending one of his precious nights off with you was so much better than he could’ve expected.
Not to mention the warm bit of validation sparked by the fact that you asked him to come over, you wanted him around —
It felt nice.
So nice.
You paused, hearing telltale scuffing of someone on your balcony.
Oh my god.
He’s here.
Hawks is here.
You gulped, shaking your head.
Don’t you dare chicken out now. Commit, dammit. You’re just... hanging out. With your friend.
Yeah.
A knock on the glass pulled you to the door of your balcony, hobbling to slide it open on your crutches.
Hawks was happy to push the door the rest of the way open, stepping inside with a bag of takeout slung on his arm.
Your mouth parched, seeing him once again in civilian clothing. Was it... normal to get turned on by the fact that he looked normal?
As Hawks stepped into your humble apartment, wings tucked tightly to his back, you drank him in, hair ruffled with his clear visor placed on top of his head to push back the windswept front pieces. He wore a white sweater and black trousers complete with heavy black boots that were quickly untied and left by the door.
“You’re staring, you know,” Hawks interrupted your thoughts as you straightened up on your crutches.
Recover.
“Can’t prove that,” You tutted, crutching away from the door. “Also, welcome. Watch out for my cats, they might try to get a mouthful of your feathers.”
“Duly noted,” Hawks clicked his tongue, standing up and following you as you meander to the kitchen.
Keigo had to admit that your apartment was relatively... cute. He was used to his own, seldom-used digs. He had a big, uncomfortably nice penthouse with too many disused rooms and too much open space. Fixtures and furniture that were too expensive, probably, but it had been far easier to hire some big-name interior designer and not bother with dealing with it himself. Keigo had trouble keeping many ‘personal’ possessions, anyways. His training with the Commission made him almost revile the thought of keeping unnecessary, material objects, sans a few.
Your home was the exact opposite.
Maybe it was that he didn’t know how to have a personal touch that it made your cozy little apartment feel so full of them.
Little photos and artworks on walls or in frames caught Keigo’s eyes as he followed you to the kitchen. He took note of several blankets on the couch, catching sight of the plushie he’d given you at the hospital. Even the lighting of the apartment was personal, diffuse. With how easily overstimulated you became, it made sense that you’d keep your apartment so ambiently dim.
“So, first off, thank you for coming by and delivering dinner. I am eternally grateful,” You bowed dramatically, leaning to flail out a crutch at the motion. “Second, as payment, I’ll make you a drink. Maybe not with my quirk, but I have some of my old tea blends here.”
“It’s the least I could do,” Keigo shrugged, setting the takeout down on the counter while his ever-present grin nearly hurt his face from how relentless it was. “And tea? Show me what you’ve got. Or, should I trust you to pick one out for me?”
You hummed, clicking your tongue before moving across the kitchen to a different set of cabinets, “I think I’ve actually got a good one for you. It’s one of my favorites.”
“Lay on the details, angel,” Keigo hummed, leaning against the lip of the counter.
You did have the perfect blend in mind. It wasn’t too old, hardly stale. It would pair as well as a nice tea could with fried takeout, judging by the smells wafting from the bag on the counter.
“It’s one I made for a brunch we catered a few months back. It’s just a white tea raspberry blend, but it’s not delicate. It should stand up to any sort of food you’ve brought. Thank you, by the way.”
Setting your crutches down, you started to push yourself up onto the counter without thinking much of it, booted-foot going limp off the edge.
“Of course, anytime— woah, angel,” His voice choked as you wavered on the edge of the counter, off-balance.
There was a short flap of wings and rush of air as you tried to rebalance, cursing the deadweight of your leg.
If Hawks hadn’t been directly behind you, you probably would’ve eaten shit.
You turned yourself as far as you could, cheeks going hot.
Hawks’ face was just inches away from yours. That was even to mention the hands hovering around your waist, chest brushing up against your back.
“S-sorry,” Did he just fucking stutter? “You looked like you were about to eat shit there.”
The words hardly reach you, you were too busy actively telling yourself not to stare at his pretty, plump lips because that is not something friends do. Not the can of worms you needed to open, right?
“I-,” You turned away from him, stretching up to the tea tin that had been out of your reach. “To think you’ve saved me from falling while reaching for loose leaf tea, twice.”
“All in a day's work,” His hands twitched around your sides but hardly shifted until you began to descend from the countertop. In fact, Hawks hardly moved away at all until you were situated back on your crutches.
You pretended not to notice the flush on his cheeks.
Maybe, it was a bit too close. Definitely too close, and bad circumstances, but god, you wanted more and more of him.
You swallowed your desires down, cracking a smile.
Be normal.
Be cool!
You shook the tin, leaves and dried fruit rattling inside, “So, cream or sugar?”
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The two of you ended up on the couch, picking through the several boxes of takeout that Hawks had brought. Most of dinner was spent bantering back and forth about one of Hawks’ newest modeling contracts and if it was ‘ethical’ for him to wear his own feathers for the sake of ‘fashion’?
“So, off-topic from insulting my employment ethics, ” Hawks spoke while munching on a piece of chicken. “You surviving?”
“Barely,” You laughed, setting down your utensils with a huff. “I forget how isolation makes you go a little crazy. I’m running out of dumb shit to watch and even dumber shit to send you.”
Hawks snorted, setting down his own box, having had his fill, “I know you are more than adept at combing the internet for more good shit to send me.”
“I mean, maybe, but you keep sending me juicy photos of you being a dumbass. They’re hard to show up, you know?” You side-eyed him at the birdish tilt of his head.
“You don’t need to show me up, angel,” Hawks reminded you, some feathers packing up what was left of the food. “Though, it’s fun. You’re fun.”
You internally winced at the sentiment but forced the smile on your face not to waver.
It was a needed reminder.
This close to Hawks, you could fucking smell him. Maybe it was a little creepy, but you remembered it so well, after the villain attack. The scent of some sort of spicy cologne and old sweat, but it was hardly unpleasant. No, it was intoxicating. It made you feel almost fuzzy, as it wafted around like some reminder that Hawks and you were so close.
You thanked the stars that the apartment lacked the stimuli to make your quirk activate on its own.
Your couch wasn’t very large, and it seemed even smaller with how Hawks had laid his wings over it. They were propped up over the back, outstretched just the smallest bit to relieve some pressure. All the same, the massive feathers made you feel minuscule.
Even the way he was sitting was intoxicating and a bit gut-wrenching. It was casual, the way he leaned back against the far cushions, legs somewhat spread with an ankle over the opposite knee. The pose oozed a weird, untouchable confidence that you hadn’t seen in Hawks in months, maybe ever. At least, not directed at you.
Despite the warm nature of his words, he seemed guarded.
It made your throat dry.
Keigo was quite on edge. He hadn’t meant to get so close in the kitchen, really, he hadn’t. But, seeing you dangling off the edge of the counter like that, even if it was harmless and mundane, made his entire body and mind react before he could think.
But, you weren’t in any danger. Even if you had been, Keigo would’ve been there to catch you.
He’d put himself out of it, overthinking the whole thing. You were fine. Safe.
The other part of his mind spun with how he wanted to be so much closer.
Feeling the warmth of your body, the lines of your waist, the thrum of your heart and breath so fucking close—
It was a lot.
But, he was well-trained and not going to choke.
He’d shoved himself to the opposite side of the couch to you, keeping his boundaries up, strong as steel and hard as carbon.
Of course, Keigo knew the feelings were mutual. That didn’t mean that none of this was terrifying in the same way that it was exhilarating.
As much as he wanted to be closer (so much closer), Keigo remained careful. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was ruin something before it had even truly happened.
You sat back against the couch, repositioning your injured leg on the coffee table, “So, thoughts.”
“On?”
You didn’t look at Keigo as you replied, rather glared at your TV, “What to watch?”
“Oh,” You could hear the smile in his voice. “We’re watching something?”
“You tell me. I imagine you don’t get lots of time to do this sort of thing, do you?”
Hawks didn’t reply for a moment, sitting deeper into the couch, “Not really.”
“Then indulge, tailfeathers,” You tossed the remote in his lap. “Anything, go for it. Go nuts.”
Hawks nearly put on watching a reality cooking show, before you said that that was off-limits, per an odd conversation from way back when where he had admitted to be hot for Gordon Ramsey. He had been a little too vague as to whether or not he would pop a boner from Gordon’s filmed degradations. And truthfully, if anything was gonna give Hawks a hard-on tonight, you were determined for it not to be competitive cooking TV. Maybe, just maybe, you’d rather it be you.
...
Eventually, he settled on some psychological thriller you’d never heard of.
Keigo hadn’t either.
He was glad that you couldn’t hear his heart in the same way he heard your’s pounding.
Out of the corner of his eye, he watched you crutch around, turning the already dim lights lower.
Calm the down, Hawks.
Calm the fuck down.
He’d never even done this before. Keigo wasn’t sure how to handle the situation, even if it was as simple as watching a film.
It would’ve been simpler if the tension in the air was thick and foggy, clouding over his consciousness as he tried to focus on anything other than your nearness and how much he wanted to drag you into his lap.
…
His feathers fluttered as you plopped back onto the couch, pulling a blanket over your lap and offering one to him.
He took it, settling it over his lap as the movie went on.
You weren’t an idiot. You could feel the blood rushing in your hot ears as you fisted the blanket over your legs.
Your mind spoke a lot louder than you wanted it to:
Just fucking do it.
Do what exactly?
The paramount thought that was causing anxiety to twirl in your gut.
Maybe, you could just tell him how you felt.
Maybe just hold his hand.
Maybe get fucking rejected because he’s out of your league and out of bounds.
Maybe even kiss him—
You were torturing yourself, the movie just background noise to your internal dilemma.
You’d asked him to your apartment and Hawks had bought you fucking dinner. That wasn’t a lot, sure, maybe, but there were also the months of lead-up.
There were all of the cold mornings and cheeky grins you gave each other in the waking coffee shop. There were the fuzzy jokes, the lingering glances, and the tight feeling you got in your chest whenever he graced you with mere eye contact.
It felt like you were already in too deep to not be honest about how you felt towards him. Fuck, you’d been in too deep for months. Every time you made him a damn drink, you wanted to just drink him in. You were all fluttering hearts and sweet smiles for him in a way that you couldn’t suppress, only squash in moments of such intense anxiety like this—
“Hey, dove?” It was Hawks, shocking you from your turmoil with a soft voice. “Are you alright?”
“Y-yeah, I’m good.” Your reply was curt and clipped.
Make a decision now.
Pull the bandage off, (Y/N).
It’ll just be worse, the longer you wait.
Maybe Hawks did just want to fuck with some cute feelings, the seemingly longing looks be damned. Yeah, you liked him way more than for just a fuck, that was obvious and unavoidable. Besides, it’d be better to know than to not know, right?
“You sure? If the movie’s too much, we can turn it off,” Hawks sounded genuinely concerned from the other side of the couch.
...
You committed, taking a deep breath and turning to Hawks.
“It’s not that,” You looked at the couch between the two of you, tracing the seam of the cushion. “The movie’s fine.”
“Then, you’re not feeling great for another reason?” Keigo asked, feeling each of your breaths and heartbeats like bass drums in his ears. He hides the shaking of his hands by crossing them over his chest. “You can talk to me, (Y/N).”
“Can I?” You asked, shaking your head and laughing at yourself. “Hawks, I need to do something really fucking stupid.”
Holy fuck.
Are they—
“What’s that?”
His voice was smaller than he wanted it to be.
“Fuck, Hawks,” You finally forced yourself to look at him, taking in his guarded posture and pained expression.
Your heart sank.
“I just need to be honest with you.”
Hawks’s brow soured, lips twitching, “Go for it, dove.”
You laughed, maybe trying to soothe yourself, “It’s probably is just, so fucking stupid, all things considered.”
You ran a hand through your hair, biting your lip between sentences and willing yourself to just get it out—
“Hawks, I like you. A lot.”
He still didn’t say anything and you could feel shards of your heart drive into your lungs.
You forced yourself to look up at him, smiling with the slight release of tension in your sternum, however painful.
“I know, we’re just friends, right? I’m just the barista and you’re my special, pro hero regular. I know I’m overstepping right now, but it feels unfair for me to not be honest with you.”
Keigo already knew this, right? He knew how you felt, fuck, he’d felt how you felt. He just wasn’t prepared for the exploding and thrumming in his chest when you told him with your sweet lips and kind words.
Why did it feel so different when you were smiling at him like you were in pain and telling him so fucking honestly with your words?
It was the thing about you that he admired the most, that candor in your tone and the grin in your cheeks as you spoke so.
But, your smile was falling, leaving watery-looking eyes.
“Hawks, I like you. Way too much for friends, and I needed to say something.”
Keigo’s mouth was dry.
For the first time in so fucking long, he was genuinely speechless.
He couldn’t recall a time in his life anyone had spoken so earnestly to him, just you. Just you, you, you— casually, over and over again, you talked to him like he was something real and something to be cared for. It was subtle, but it was one of the many things that made him want you closer.
Yet, despite all his bundled up desires, he was lost for words.
“I’m sorry—”
He stopped you, “(Y/N), please don’t apologize.”
“But—”
“(Y/N).”
Hawks’ voice was sharp. It made the expression on your face rapidly fall.
He looked at you with rapt attention, arms uncrossing from his chest.
He turned to you on the couch, feathers fluffed up and twitching.
Your nose stung as Hawks, all pretty golds and ambers, shook out an exhale and balled up the blanket in his lap.
“Hawks—”
“Why would you need to be sorry?”
Hawks looked at you with wide eyes, brow creased. His shoulders were... shaking?
Your head spun, leg aching, “... What do you mean?”
Hawks finally met your gaze, giving you the sweetest, saddest smile you’d ever seen, “Dove, you’re acting like there’s no way I could feel the same way.”
Every cell in your body stuttered.
“You’ve done it since we’ve met.”
Hawks scooted closer on the cushions of the couch.
“You’ve always acted like there’s just no way I could like you, give a shit about you—”
He moved a bit closer.
You couldn’t make yourself move.
“You want to know the truth?”
You creaked out a nod.
Keigo couldn’t help the way he went to cup your cheeks in his hands, thumbs rubbing along the apples of your cheeks. You lean into his touch, just like at the hospital, despite the blend of absolute fear and confusion in your expression.
“How could I not care about you, dove?” And it finally came out. “I care about so much— dove, I don’t know what to fucking say.”
That made you speechless, lips parting just the slightest bit as Hawks continued, losing composure with his morphing expressions.
He wet his lips, swallowing, “Dove, I’ve never—any of this. I-I don’t know what o-or how to say any of what I want to right now.”
You speak before thinking.
“Show me, if you don’t know how to say it.”
The idea seemed so novel as Keigo ran a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it from between your teeth. He met your gaze with the gooiest, sweetest look you’d ever seen in your life, “You want me to?”
“Please.”
It was all the two of you had wanted for a while now, right?
“If I kiss you, I’m not ever gonna be able to make this go away, am I?” Keigo was speaking to himself, just above his breath. But, you were more than close enough to hear him.
“Hey, Hawks? I don’t know if we can make ‘this’ try to go away.” You grabbed one of the hands cupping your face, pulling it away, only to shakily press in your lips to the bones on the back of it. “I don’t want to anymore.”
“Y-you gotta stop being so sweet, (Y/N)—”
Neither of you could wait a moment longer.
Your arms wrapped around Keigo’s shoulder. In the same motions, he pulled you closer by your waist, dragging you finally closer to him.
He held your jaw like you were the most precious thing in the world. Because, truthfully, you were to him. The sentiment was shared Deeply.
Your lips pressed together and the long-held tensions in your chests mutually shattered, dissolving in the honeyed touch of each other’s genuine attention.
You angled your head perfectly, Keigo’s hand guiding you as his mouth worked against yours. It wasn’t a particularly steamy sort of affair, but by god, it wasn’t in any way chaste. Not with the tight grip and thumbing on your ribs. Not with the way your hands tangled in the soft (holy fuck, soft) hair at the base of Keigo’s skull.
You both tasted each other's sweetness, craving more of it after denying yourselves of it for so long. It was white-hot, exploding behind your eyes, even as your quirk remained dormant. Keigo was honey and cream and smoked spices all dancing across your palette.
To Keigo? You were sweet, cool water over a hot burn. You were the heat of a hearth rolling over him on the coldest of days. He swears that in the first moments he finally got to be close to you, and over and over again— he finally understood how your quirk worked.
There was no way that finally feeling you, feeling you as he felt you, could be described with just five senses.
You pulled away first, gasping for breath and arching your back into him. You lingered as close as you could, pressing your forehead to Keigo’s while your breaths mingled. You didn’t dare stray far.
“Was that enough to show you?” Keigo asked, breathless. He kept a wide hand against your back, urging you with a bit of soft pressure to put your weight into it. You complied, settling in his hold as Keigo stroked at your hot cheeks.
You nodded, beaming up at him with that sunny smile of yours. It never failed to make heat burn through Keigo and god, did it feel good to finally let it unabashed.
“I take it, you like me too, huh,” You smiled, looking a bit embarrassed.
“Very much, very much,” Keigo repeated, pressing a kiss to your nose (he’d always wanted to do that). “So much, (Y/N). I apologize for not saying anything sooner. This is just...”
“New to you, right?” You finished his sentence, thumbing along the back of his neck in a way that made Keigo just melt. “It’s been a while for me too, if it makes you feel better.”
“It does, dove. Thank you.” Keigo let out a deep breath, shaking his head against yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”
“It’s alright, same goes for me,” As much as you needed to adjust due to the angle of your recovering leg, you couldn’t make yourself do it. You were so wonderfully close to Hawks, you never wanted to move.
“If we’re being honest, then I need to be honest with you,” Hawks met your eyes, his expression going a little dimmer.
You braced for the worst.
He picked up your shift easily, finally able to express how quickly he caught your mood after so long of being attuned to it.
“Oh wait, no, (Y/N), nothing terrible, I promise,” Hawks rubbed at your sides. “It’s about the miel.”
“The... miel?” You cocked your head to the side, confused, recalling the drink somewhat hazily. “The drink I made you on the day of... the attack?”
Hawks gave you a tense smile, “That one, yeah. Remember how you said it was just based on your ambient feelings?”
“Uh-huh.” You let confusion lace your tone until it slowly started to dawn on you.
“You made the drink, ambiently, around me—”
Your eyes widened, mouth falling open, “Oh my god, Hawks, did my feelings for you get in the drink?”
Hawks graced you with a sweet, sympathetic smile, fingers tucking at the hair around your ear, “They did, dove. I’ve kind of known for a few days, it just hasn’t been the time or setting to say something. I apologize.”
“N-no, it’s okay, I totally understand,” You sighed into his grip. “I really thought it might be something worse.”
“Consider your worries assuaged,” Hawks hummed, eyes drifting to your boot. He deadpanned suddenly. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad does your leg hurt right now?”
Fairly bad, considering. You were half on your knees, the booted leg twisted awkwardly while still raised to the coffee table. This wasn’t even to mention the arch of your back so you could be all that closer to Hawks.
The pain of the position was easy to forget; you were still shaking from kissing Hawks just once.
“Uh, maybe like a seven, once I can feel anything other than how good you felt just now,” you hummed, grinning up at Hawks as his face went bright red.
The infinite pleasure you received, making him blush so sweetly.
He shook it off, squeezing your sides, “Cute. Very cute. Mutually returned sentiment, but let’s adjust.”
You nodded but didn’t have much time to react as a bundle of Hawks’s feathers lifted you every which way, albeit incredibly gently. All said and done, he was fully upright against the back of the couch. With the support of a feather or two, Hawks’s arms tugged you into his lap. Your legs stretched to the side, the booted one immediately propped up by a feather-supplied pillow.
You both settled yourselves, blushing and leaning on each other now that you finally were allowing yourself to.
Keigo fully wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tight against him. One of his wings even shifted to drape over one his shoulder, sheltering the two of you in a canopy of a crimson. Keigo let his hands wander over your hips, not seeking anything more than blessed attention and heat. You gave it all to him, tucking your face into his collarbone, drowning in the scent that made you feel at home.
Keigo pressed his lips to your crown and legitimately shuddering.
He spoke to himself, so faintly and quietly, you hardly caught it, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”
There was melancholy in his voice, but you were quick to strip it away.
You brushed your lips along his jaw, savoring the way he held you tighter, “I have too. Can we do this more?”
“Anytime, dove. Anytime.”
“Right now sound good?”
You withdrew to beam up at him as you were so good at doing, only to be smothered by craving-satiating kisses anywhere Keigo could get to. The sweet, high laughter that he dripped onto you made your heart burst all over again.
And you finally, finally fell into the other sweetly, warmly, and properly.
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taglist: @thepandapopo @hawksexual @sinclairsamess @darcia22 @inhalingsoysauce @yee-fxcking-haw
#salem writes#lavender latte#hawks x reader#hawks x y/n#hawks x you#takami keigo x reader#takami keigo x you#takami keigo x y/n#mha reader insert#hawks reader insert#hawks#takami keigo#hawks mha#hawks bnha#im soft for this one yall#so soft
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BTS Reaction To: You Getting Shot
Mafia!Au
Summary: you get shot and the boys handle the situation differently than expected.
Request: Anonymous said:
Mafia bts reaction to their s/o accidently or on purpose getting shot?
Warnings: angsttt, mafia!au, mentions of being shot. Taehyung is a dick in this im sorry, mentions of the boys wanting to murder the person who shot you, fluff, yoongi bloodlust,
W.C.: 2-300 for each member (1.7k)
Notes: Friday I am getting my puppy!!!!
Jin:
“Oh fuck.” Seokjin sighed as he watched you play with the guns that he has laid out on the table in the weapon room.
“What?” You laughed, confused on why your boyfriend is acting as if you are about to hurt yourself or someone. “I know what I am doing.”
Seokjin let out a nervous laugh at your words, cautiously walking up to you. The most feared mafia leader in the world is nervous of his own fiancée that is holding a gun for the first time. Not knowing what a certain switch does, you flicked it, and not knowing that the switch turns off the safety, you pulled back the trigger and a loud, ricocheting sound sounded in the room followed by a loud cry of pain coming from you.
Realizing what just has happened, Seokjin let out a loud curse, rushing towards.
“Oh, fuck!” You screeched, holding onto your thigh, trying to not pass out from the blood that is now covering your hands.
“You’re such an idiot, Jagi!” Seokjin scolded, picking you up bridal style, carrying you out of the room in a hurry to the headquarters doctors’ room.
“Did Noona just shoot herself?” Jungkook asked as Seokjin jogged passed him.
“Possibly,” you answered, doing the best as you could to not break down crying.
Yoongi:
Yoongi was already having a bad day. Having to deal with the new rookies he brought in, getting threats from a gang in the east, and having little to none sleep. It was as if he was ticking time bomb ready to explode at any second.
The last thing he needed was getting a call from the hospital, saying that you were a victim of a crossfire shooting.
So, here he was, sitting in the most uncomfortable chair in the room where you were attached to tubes and wires, the agonizingly beat from the heart monitor mocking him. Tears were streaking down his face, face red and expression heartbroken.
“Hyung,” Namjoon spoke out, knocking on the door softly.
Looking up, Yoongi gave him a death glare, not in the mood to deal with anything. “What do you want, Namjoon?” Yoongi growled out, voice croaky.
“The gang from the east, the one who has been making threats… they’re the ones who shot Y/N.”
To say that Namjoon was scared would be an understatement – from all of the years of knowing Yoongi, Namjoon has never seen the look that Yoongi is showing, which is bloodlust.
Hoseok:
“You’re so stupid!” Hoseok growled out at you, an angry look on his face. “You’re so Goddamn stupid! Why would you do that?” He clutched you closer to him, right hand adding pressure to your shoulder where you got shot at.
A laugh escaped your lips, which earned a glare from Hoseok. “What? You’d think I’d let you get shot by a crazy psychopath named Richie?” wincing at the pain that came from your shoulder, the action did not go unnoticed by your husband who then lessen the pressure he has on the wound.
“Yes! I am supposed to be the one who protects you, not the other way around.”
“You’re such a child,” you grumbled, shaking your head disappointedly.
“How am I the child?”
“Because you’re acting like one, Hope. In this relationship, we protect each other, no matter the consequences.”
“You could have gotten killed!”
“Yeah, and? I’d do it again just to make sure you are safe, because I love you dammit.”
Pulling you up closer to him, Hoseok pressed a kiss to your forehead, eyes closed to keep the tears from falling. Pulling away, he rested his chin on the top of your head, keeping you close to him as possible, body crouched over you in a protective manner. “I love you too, idiot.”
Namjoon:
To say Namjoon was not surprised by the phone call that he got from the maknae would be an understatement. Namjoon knew that once you got into the car with Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung to go to the gun range to practice on your aim, he knew something bad would come out of it – and being right all the time can be exhausting.
“What do you mean she shot herself in the leg?” Namjoon sighed into the phone, pinching his nose from irritation.
“I don’t know, Hyung! We only had our backs turned for five seconds, and then we heard a bang! and next thing we know, Noona was crying and there was blood!”
“You allowed Y/N to hold a gun without any supervision?! You know how clumsy she is! She is worse than me, Jungkook!”
“That is factual, Hyung. But this isn’t our fault!”
“How is this not your fault? You were the ones with her! And my stupid ass allowed her to go with you three.”
“Can you please stop yelling? You’re stressing me out and I am the one driving!”
“You’re the one driving?!”
The sound of the call being disconnected told Namjoon everything.
“I’m going to kill all four of them.” Namjoon swore as he grabbed his coat and keys so he can meet you four at the hospital. “They’re so dead.”
Jimin:
You woke up to the sound of your boyfriend moving around the bedroom, failing at trying to be quiet for your sake. Sitting up, groaning at the pain the shot up your lower body, your movements caught your boyfriends’ attention.
“Jagia, why are up?” Jimin asked concern, sitting down beside you on the bed.
“Because I heard you, why are you up at 3:17 a.m.?” You asked, doing a one over on him. Jimin was wearing all black, his gun tucked into his pants and knife tucked into its holster on his calf. It was now silent confirmation that Jimin was going to kill the gunman who shot you at the drug store just a few days ago. “You’re going to kill him…” you trailed off.
“I am, he deserves it. He shot you, he deserves the consequences.” Jimin spoke harshly, the whole incident making him angrier by the second.
“Why can’t you let the cops handle it? they’ve already tracked him down, you don’t need to do anything else.”
Sighing, Jimin ran his hands over his face. Taking your hand into his, he brought your hand up to his face, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “I know you don’t want me too, but I am still going to do it. I do not agree with our justice system, and I believe that they’ll let him walk and he’ll do it again. This will give me a sense of peace and knowing that he is gone will give me some sort of justice.”
Knowing that you cannot do anything else, and Jimin with his mind already set, it is a losing battle for you. Nodding your head reluctantly, you squeezed his hand. “I love you, be safe okay? Don’t be back too late, Jiminie.”
“I love you too, Jagi.”
Taehyung:
Ever since you got shot, your boyfriend Taehyung has been distant from you. His actions have been bringing you more pain than the actual wound you got. Instead of taking care of you, the maids that he has have been the ones taking care of you. What makes you feel even more shitty is that he has not even came to check up on you once, and it has been a week since your accident.
Deciding that enough is enough when he decided to ignore your fifth call of the day, you ignored the protests from the maids and got up. Realizing that they cannot stop you, they decided to help you get dressed into a pair of sweats and a hoodie and shoes. Helping you down the stairs, Jungkook carried you out to the car, listening to your demands about taking you to the headquarters where Taehyung is at. Once you got to the headquarters, Jungkook helped you to your boyfriend’s office, giving you an encouraging smile before you knocked on the double doors. Hearing footsteps come your way; you began to feel nervous about the meeting with your boyfriend. When Taehyung opened the door, he held an irritated look.
“What are you doing out of bed? You shouldn’t be moving, doctors’ orders.” Your boyfriend scolded you, making you feel smaller than him.
“I wanted to see you,” you stated strongly.
“I’m busy right now, have Jungkook take you home.”
“Why are you acting like this?” You asked irritated, feeling hurt by your boyfriends’ words. “You haven’t even seen me this whole time, not once checking up on me. Do you not care?” Your voice shook at the end, tears welling up in your eyes.
“Please, Y/N, go home and stay in bed. It is not good for you to be out and about. I’ll see you when I get home.” And at that, he closed the door, leaving you all alone once again.
Jungkook:
“Jungkook, I don’t need all of these blankets.” You explained to your boyfriend who is wrapping you up in five blankets.
“Yes, you do. Doctor said that you need to be on bed rest for two weeks due to your wound, so I am going to make sure you are comfortable because you will be here for a while.” Jungkook spoke out, ignoring your words.
“I will be just fine in our bed where there is a TV and comfy bed. I don’t want to be on the couch for the next 14 days. I want to be in our bed.”
Looking up at you, bewildered at your statement, he stomped his foot like a child. “Why didn’t you just say that fifteen minutes ago?” He shouted exasperatedly; hands thrown up in the air.
“Well, if you would’ve just listened to me the first time, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“I thought I was being a good boyfriend, but now it looks like I’ve failed once again.”
“Stop being a baby and take me up to our room so we can cuddle before you go and hunt down that man who shot me, okay? Please?”
Not needing to say anymore, Jungkook picked you up bridal style, running down the hall like a mad man, excited at the thought of cuddles.
#bts mafia au#bts mafia reaction#bts mafia imagine#bts mafia au reaction#bts mafia#bts reactions#bts hyung line reaction#bts maknae line reaction#kim seokjin imagine#min yoongi imagine#jung hoseok imagine#kim namjoon imagine#park jimin imagine#kim taehyung imagine#jeon jungkook imagine#soekjin imagine#yoongi angst#hoseok angst#namjoon imagine#jimin imagine#taehyung angst#jungkook imagine#bts fluff#bts angst#bts smut#bts jin#bts jimin#bts agust d#bts suga#bts v
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The Beginning after the Finale
Pairing: Yoonbum x Foreigner Detective Female Reader
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: Idk I used my notes for this. :/
Warnings: May or may not continue this one.
- Also, this is my first published fic cuz' I'm a coward so there will be many grammatical errors but I did try to proofread it. I SWEAR!
- Lastly, I'm a new user of tumblr.
- Oh yeah! ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEATBELT and I did wrote some curse words...
Summary: A childhood acquaintance of Yoonbum came back to find out that her first case in South Korea will include Yoonbum as a victim.
(I'm always looking for fics about after KS but found a little so I created one for myself.)
The story starts after the chapter ending of Killing Stalking.
You just came back to your hometown after studying and working a bit in US. You never really want to stay there in the first place but your parents doesn't like you staying alone in South Korea. You can't really argue with that. A 16 year old highschool student alone and living on a "not so safe neighborhood where a renter uncle beat the shit out of his nephew while his grandmother watch the whole ordeal afraid of his son putting his anger on her."
You can't help but sigh after remembering what happened to your childhood friend whose name you can't remember.
Him, his uncle and grandmother rents a house your parents owned. The rent was cheap because your parents doesn't really care about the money. At that time they just want a good neighbor to live next to the house where their daughter lived alone.
The uncle appeared to be friendly, caring and kind when he applied for the house. Having his mother lived with him was a plus to your parents because at least someone old will took care of you for sure. However, after his nephew's parents died on a tragic accident, the uncle became aggressive and unreasonably hit his nephew and blame him for what happened.
Of course when your parent's found out your mother's hystericlly ordered you to go lived with them abroad. At that time, you flat out refused them but after hearing their second angry suggestion of kicking out the renter, you just decided to go and obey them afraid of making it worse for the nephew.
"The nephew hmnnm..." you murmur as you try to recall that nephew's name and face. It's been too long and you only remember bits of information about him. Like how feminine his stature was. The way he look shyly when you greeted and passed by him on the streets while walking to school. How his face powdered with red whenever you saw him and smiled widely at him. However despite all those memories, his face and identity remained a mystery. His face was blurry, same with his name.
You huffed angrily as you drum your fingers on the steering wheel. You're annoyed to yourself for forgetting the most important information. Nostalgia seeped through you whenever you think about him. Maybe because you thought he was unique and had an honest air around him. You liked that and you'd like to see him again. And deeply you hoped that he was doing fine.
"DEATH PENALTY FOR THAT BASTARD PSYCHOPATH!" You got spooked after hearing a loud booming voice from a megaphone. It was a quiet day and a shout like that can be heard throughout this town. Luckily the traffic light blared red and so you've got a chance to observe what is happening outside.
Lots of people are yelling with placards on hand in front of Jonggan Hospital. Young and old were gathered outside. Looking and shouting angrily to put a certain someone named "Sangwoo" to jail until he die or punished him with death penalty. You frowned. Death penalty isn't a thing in South Korea anymore right? This person probably did something horrendous to get a suggestion like that from old and young folks.
"Good heavens! What happened to this small town?" You questioned as you shake your head then look at the countdown for a greenlight ready to go forward. Two seconds more. You said on your head.
One last look on the crowd and you decided to drove off when a scrawny boy decided to run when the greenlight was on. You stopped before you run over him but your car still bumped his body. Making him fall over the pedestrian lane.
"Fuck!" You yelled shocked and angrily from the unexpected accident. Hurriedly, you got out your car to see if the man was okay.
You heard the loud beeping noise of horns behind your car when you got out furious at you for stopping so suddenly. However, you are more concerned to the man you almost run over with your car.
"Are you okay!? Do you know how dangerous running on a pedestrian lane with greenlight on!?" You yelled worriedly as you crouched down to check if he was okay.
The guys seemed shocked about what happened and continued to look down on the cement. And so you decided to touch both of his cheeks with your hands and forced his face to look at you. Your eyes went wide as you recognize the face infront of you.
"I'm sorr-"
"Yoonbum!" You interrupted the guy's apology as he spoke when you recognized that small and scrawny face of your childhood neighbor. The nephew you're thinking about just earlier.
Yoonbum blinked when you yelled out his name in surprise.
"Do I k-know you?" Yoonbum stuttered as he frowned questioningly at you.
"Oh my gosh! It's really you! This is me, [Y/N]. You look thinner than you do when we were younger." You beamed as slowly all of your memories of him came flooding back. That scrawny, shy and honest boy you knew is right in front of you.
"[Y/N]? I-" The angry noises of car horns stopped Yoonbum from talking and you realized where the two of you at the moment.
"I'm glad that I got to see you again but the road is not a place for our little reunion. C'mon!" You smiled as you offer your hand and help him to get into your car.
You repeatedly look at the rearview mirror to confirm if the guy you just saw and almost run over was really Yoonbum. Feeling your eyes at him, he looked at the rearview mirror too and your eyes meet. He immediately look away while an obvious blush painted his cheeks.
"I really can't believe this. I was just thinking about you earlier you know. And pondering over what's your name and how do you look but then I run over you. I mean, almost." You chuckled as you slightly looked at him while driving.
You wet your lips and continue talking. "I'm so happy to finally meet you again, Yoonbum." Smiling slightly while looking at the rearview mirror. This time, your eyes meet again but he didn't look away.
"Uhmmm.." You heard Yoonbum uttered softly so you glance his way. You saw him twiddling his thumbs.
"Go on." You nod while looking at the road to encourage him to say whatever he had in mind.
"Do I know you?" Surprised, you stopped and your car screeched loudly. You heard a loud thud beside you.
"Awwww...."
You gasped in horror when you saw Yoonbum's bloody forehead. You immediately grab some tissues on the back sit and dabbed softly on his open wound. That's when you realized that all this time he was not wearing his seatbelt. You cursed under your breathe and muttered a silent sorry to Yoonbum for driving carelessly. You just didn't expect him not to know you when he voluntarily rode your car and listen to your ramblings about him.
Luckily you're on your way to the hospital parking lot. You were really worried about Yoonbum earlier that you decided to bring him to the hospital to be checked by the doctors if he had any injuries from the almost accident.
You got out of the car immediately and guide him to the emergency entrance. On your way there, you saw a police in uniform narrowed his eyes on your direction and jogged angrily where the two of you are. You felt Yoonbum's grip tighten on your hand.
When the police was just two steps away from you and Yoonbum. You hid him fast and pushed the officer away.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! What do you think you are doing? You are scaring my friend, officer." You said sarcastically as you shoved the glaring guy in front of you.
The police officer eyebrows knitted into one. "Ma'am, I mean no harm to you and your friend. But I need to talk to him." He emphasized the word friend as he tried to look behind you. You felt Yoonbum cowers in fear. You hold tightens on his hands. Clearly, there was really something wrong here. However, even though you want to fight the man in uniform, Yoonbum needs his wound treated.
"I'd like to let you, good sir but my friend's head is bleeding and he needs immediate care."
You didn't wait for his reply and you brought Yoonbum to the nearest nurse to help him with his wound.
From your peripheral vision, you saw the officer followed the two of you. When the nurse finally assisted your friend, you immediately stop the officer from interrogating Yoonbum further.
"You know, I don't have any clue about what you need from Yoonbum but can you stop? He almost got into an accident today and by the way his body responds to you, you were making things harder for him. So can you please stop." You glared daggers at the officer who just replied on your statement with a frown.
"Ma'am-"
"[L/N], [Y/N] [L/N]" You interrupted him which made his frown into a scowl.
"Okay, Ms. [L/N]. By the way you look, you're probably just got here and don't know what happened. Your friend there, Mr. Yoon was a victim of a serial killer. Him being out is not good for he was still suspected to be an accomplice even though the court already ordered his innocence." He nonchantly explained as he pointed his hand to Yoonbum who's being tended by a nurse.
He left your mouth agape with his revelation and walked pass you to sit beside the now patched Yoonbum. You followed and immediately hugged Yoonbum protectively from the officer who didn't even tell his name yet.
Then you remembered that Yoonbum doesn't remember you still and so you dropped your arms and just crouched in front of him to look into his eyes. You hold his hands and help him remember you.
"Yoonbum. This is me [Y/N]. The ow-"
"Owner of the house my uncle rented for us." You smiled when Yoonbum continued your sentence. He smiled back with that boyish innocent smile you remembered before but with eyes full with uncertainty and sadness.
"Sorry for interrupting your little reunion but didn't I told you Mr. Yoon to not go out alone to Jonngang Hospital?" The officer glared at Yoonbum who was trying to look and move away.
You bit your lips and stand up to fight the officer for being rude to the obvious scared Yoonbum.
"You nasty off-"
"Seungbae. Officer Seungbae for you Ms. [Y/N]" He interrupted looking at you. As if telling you to fight him.
"Okay, Officer Seungbae. I do understand that you're just trying to protect Yoonbum but can you please stop being nasty and rude to him. He was obviously shooked from what happened to him earlier-"
"And if you don't know Ms. [Y/N], the foreigner. In Jonggang Hospital lies the culprit who broke your friend's legs and forced him to do nasty things for months. And if the people caught him there, the people might become more hostile and believed further that he was an accomplice. Just letting you know in case you don't know" Your jaw clenched at the sneering statement of the officer. You're not annoyed by the fact that you know nothing on Yoonbum's case but the fact that this officer was basically putting all of his anger at you and making you look like a fool.
Instead of continuing the banter with him, you looked at Yoonbum's eyes again who continued to look away.
You have these cases in the US when you're still working there as a detective. Some serial killer let a victim alive to break them and make them believe that they were just like them. Cases abroad are nastier than in here but after hearing that your friend had suffered directly from a psycopath made your heart wrenched in sadness for him. It will take some time to heal them but knowing the person who suffered made you want to help them more wholeheartedly.
"Yoonbum please look at me" You placed both of your hands upon his cheek guiding his face to look at you.
"I don't know what happened and do not know the real reason why you still want to see him despite what he did to you. Maybe to see him suffer or whatever but I believe that you're innocent. Maybe he ordered you to do nasty things to make you crazy or make you believe that you're just like him but I still do believe in your innocence because you are a victim of him too. Whatever you have in mind, I'll listen to you and guide you through the process. Trust me." You looked at him with your heart out to let him know your sincerity to help him despite the years you hadn't been with him.
Yoonbum looked at you for sometime and then nod squeezing your wrists near his cheeks.
You smiled at him.
You admire how strong he was despite all the struggles he suffered through his lifetime. You promised to yourself that you will help him this time and will not runaway because its dangerous or whatsoever.
You squeezed his hands tight and nod at him happily.
P.S. Notes are highly appreciated. Thank you so much!
#yoonbumxreader#killing stalking#fanfic#afterks#yang seungbae#yoonbum#seungbae x reader#idk how to tag lmao#idk how to tag anymore#idk how to tag stuff#idk how to use tumblr#idk how to tag lol
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Hello World
Na jaemin x fem!reader, Feat. 00 liners
Summary: Wait, humans suddenly disappeared? well isn’t it fun? you get to do whatever you want now but no one will be there for you anymore. You’re completely alone in a world that seems to be dead but is that Really it?
It’s been hours since you woke up, you’ve been wandering around the city but you haven’t met a single person yet. You also checked your phone but all your contacts, photos and all the files in it are gone, there is also no signal. It was quiet, too quiet it was hurting your ears. There’s no wind or any birds chirping and especially, the people are gone, it feels like the world isn’t alive at all. “i swear if i’m in Alice in borderland, im going to kill myself” you said.
You went to the mall market but the food seems to be expired already, seriously for how long did they disappeared? but at the fruit aisle there were still a few fresh fruits, you weren’t a big fan of fruits, you hate it but you have no other choice, all the foods are expired even if it isn’t you don’t know how to cook at all. Well, you can cook instant noodles and eggs but that’s all.
And of course because you’re alone, you jump on the beds at the furniture aisle while singing “five little monkeys jumping on the beds” not until you heard a loud thud nearby, you quickly hide under the blanket. Minutes passed nothing happened, maybe something just accidentally fell. Yeah ACCIDENTALLY
Months have passed, everyday feels the same, like you’re on a loop it’s sickening, are you really alone? or maybe your just dreaming. You tried pinching your arm, it hurts but nothing changed the world is still empty... dead. You’re running out of food, Your gonna die alone, no one is going to mourn your death. “Oh god oh god..” you pulled your hair and cried.
“I don’t want this, i didn’t ask for this.. I miss everyone” you said and hugged your knees.
.
.
.
.
.
“Here”
“Huh?” you immediately looked up, a guy with jet black hair beside you is offering you a handkerchief, you ignored it and wiped your tears with your hands, he looks away and puts the handkerchief back in his pocket. There’s a lot of stuff running in your mind right now, you feel happiness, sadness, and anger at the same time. You snapped out of your thoughts when he waved his hand in-front of your face. “I think they forgot us and went to mars” he joked but it didn’t move you.
You were too busy scanning every inch of his face, why the fuck he looks so healthy compared to me.. maybe he’s a robot?
He was in the middle of talking when you suddenly poked his cheek, “oh wow you’re real” you said, he laughed and removes your finger away form his face. “Yes I am real”
You keep asking him about everything, he tries his best to answer your questions. “Before all of this, i like being alone, it relaxes me, you know just vibing with myself but not this alone” he explained.
“I know, waking up thinking it was another normal day and the next thing you knew the people are gone, I might have you now but you might suddenly disappear too or me. Back then I’m scared to die, cause when you die you can’t do anything you want anymore, it’s just like dreaming forever, but for me this is worse” You said.
He took your hands and looked at you in the eyes, it was beautiful but the person who have it is sad. He wanted to changed that “Let’s make the most of it while we still have each other, I’m Jaemin by the way you?” He smiled.
His smile was beautiful and calming, almost like a free therapy, it made your heart skipped a beat “I’m y/n” . And so you two did, you shared each other’s favorite stuffs, read books together, danced in an empty street while raining, watched the sunset, played board games, and put on some expensive clothes and pretended like you guys are in a fashion runaway.
“You see that three stars together? My mom said those are the three Kings, oh there’s the orion!” You said pointing in the starry sky, you and jaemin are stargazing on top of a hill. He stares at you lovingly while you keep telling him about the meanings of each constellation you point out in the night sky. “I love you” he said out of nowhere causing you to stop.
You looked at him, his eyes sparkling “I love you too you know that” you said.
“No like LOVE love” he clear up.
Jaemin looked away, “It’s fine I can wait, I have all the time in the world”
Silence..
“It’s not like there’s someone who’s going to stole yo-“ when he looks back at your spot you were gone, it was as if you had suddenly disappeared like a bubble. “Y/n?” He stands up and starts looking around for you, his breath getting heavy, his vision starts to get blurry as tears formed on his eyes. Jaemin dropped on his knees and looked down. Just when things started to be fun, one had to disappear. Now he’s all alone again.
•••
You slowly opened your eyes, your vision cleared up and a white ceiling is the first one that greeted you. You felt a dextrose which is injected into your right hand. Wait, what are you doing in a hospital? you were like fine seconds ago.. and where’s Jaemin?
A woman entered the room, she looked middle aged based on her hair which has a few white strands. You were surprised when she suddenly jumped in joy when she saw you were awake, she fishes her phone out of her pocket and dials someone’s number. “Honey come here! our daughter is finally awake!” after that she cuts the line and hugged you. “Mom?” you said. She cares your hair softly “Im glad you can still remember me, i’ll go get the doctor wait here okay?” you nodded.
Your mom leaves the room, you sat there in silence. Was is it all a dream or am i in another dream right now? what about Jaemin?
Soon the doctor arrived with your mom, no, with your whole family. The doctor asked you a few question and you answered them effortlessly, “Your daughter is doing fine now, we can arrange her documents so she can leave in few days, and i recommend to let her rest for three days before going back to business.” the doctor explained.“Thanks doc” you heard your dad said, the doctor nodded and leaves the room along with their nurse.
“I don’t remember what happened, how did I ended up here?”you asked, they all sat beside your bed. Your mom held out your hand and rubs it with her thumb. “You got hit by Car, you were comatose for 8 months we thought we were going to lose you” Your dad explained. You forced a smile, you don’t know what to do in this kind of situation so you just looked down.
You looked up after you felt your stomach growl, “can i go to the cafeteria? im hungry”you requested.
Your mom accompanied you to the cafeteria while your dad and older brother decided to stay in your room, you were surrounded by a lot of people you felt different. You want to tell your family about what happened and especially Jaemin but they might think your silly. While your mom is ordering food, you are looking for an empty seat. You weren’t paying much attention infront of you and bump into someone, luckily they catches you before you kiss the floor.
“sorry i’m so sorry i wasn’t looking” you apologized.
“no no it’s fine i wasn’t either” the guy smiled, he felt familiar, it feels like you already met him but where? “oh wait y/n? it’s you, glad you already woke up!” he said and hugged you.
“i’m sorry you are?”
“i’m Jeno, we’re classmates remember?, i came here to visit you and visit my friend jaemin also-”
“Jaemin? did you just say Jaemin? where is he? is he okay? wait is he here? please tell me it’s just high fever or he works here?”you asked.
“Oh Y/n there you are, let’s eat?” Your mom interprets the conversation, “he’s in room 25, 10th floor meet me there” Jeno said and left.
“So Jeno’s here too?” Your mom asked.
“Yeah he’s supposed to visit me but we met here so he’s off to his friend now” you explained, you were happy to hear that Jaemin’s here but felt guilty after you remembered you suddenly left him at the hill.
After you finished eating with your mom, you told her you’re going to room 25, she still accompanied you there but she just waited outside the room. When you got inside you immediately saw Jaemin sleeping peacefully in his hospital bed with his life support. He’s sleeping, does that mean he’s still in that world? Alone?
There are tears trailing down from your cheeks as you approach his unconscious body, “h-how long has he been like this?” you asked Jeno, he stood beside you and pats your back even though he has no idea how you knew his bestfriend. “3 years, brain infection”
That night you prayed a thousand times, hoping that in your sleep you would return to that world to be with Jaemin again and tell him you love him too. Eventually you got there, to the place where you guys usually hang out but you didn’t met him, you looked around for him but you couldn’t even see his shadow. Or any trails he left behind. He just disappeared like you did before. Morning came, afternoon, evening, a day, and a week. You didn’t woke up. You were trapped in there again.
Kicking a can out of your way as you took a road to god knows where, you lost count on how long you’ve been trapped but it almost felt like a year or more “I wonder if Jaemin already woke up”
“He hasn’t” you turned around and saw a very tall figure of a man wearing black suit, “But he will, just not now. I believe your time is up miss” you took a few steps back away from the man. “Haha very funny, I know you’re just trapped here just like me” you said and started to walk again. “What you call ‘here’ is where lost souls go who still have a chance to live but you don’t, your brain is starting to shut down and the doctors back in the real world are trying to save you with a defibrillator” he explained. You stopped in your tracks. So now you’re dying? you haven’t pretty much done all your goals in life yet.
“I-I’ll go back! I will woke up!”
“Haha we’ll see miss, three days, I will give you three days, if i still spot you wandering around here you have no choice but to come with me” he smirked, he snapped his fingers and poof! he was nowhere to be seen.
•••
“You seriously don’t remember her?”
“No... why? Do I have to?” Jaemin sipped his black coffee.
“I don’t know, it’s just that after she woke up she went to see you, she was crying it’s kinda...unfair”Jeno explained, ever since Jaemin woke up Jeno’s been trying to tell everything about you but it doesn’t ring any bell to him. “Unfair? What? It’s my fault if i can’t remember her? I’ve been asleep for 5 years and so is she, how the hell— argh nevermind” Jaemin face palms himself.
“C’mon Jeno don’t force him to this, he can’t be stressed” Renjun said.
“Yeah yeah right sorry” Jeno apologized.
They all went back to their business, silence filled the room. Renjun and Haechan are focused on their phones, Jeno looking outside the window, and Jaemin drinking his favorite drink. Jaemin was dozing off until a certain memory from his dream played in his mind. He was in an empty grocery store with a girl, everything was clear except her face, her voice was also mute. “I like canned bread, it’s kinda good” Jaemin said out of nowhere.
His friends looked at each other in confusion and back at Jaemin, Haechan scoffs “since when have you eaten canned bread?”
Jaemin’s unable to answer, he swear he have. Jaemin shruggs “Nevermind”.
12:30 pm, Renjun and Haechan already left since they still had school tomorrow. Same as for Jeno, he’s just waiting for Jaemin’s mom to arrive so he could go home, he didn’t want to leave his dear friend alone. The Tv is on shopping channel, the air conditioner was off but it’s still cold. They couldn’t sleep. As Jaemin spaces out, he hears this familiar voice of that girl again, she was singing. It was annoying and relaxing him at the same time, he couldn’t understand why he feels such feeling towards a girl who only lives inside his head or is she really? Her face is still blurry but he can finally hear her voice loud and clear. “Hey little train we are all jumping on..the train that goes to the kingdom...” Jaemin sang quietly.
“Where did you heard that?” Jeno ask.
“Someone... I don’t know” Jaemin replied, Jeno shook his head and puts his attention back to his phone. It keeps happening, Jaemin saying things out of nowhere, facts about him that sounds fake but aren’t , its just that, it didn’t happened in reality. “I used to hear y/n sing that a lot when she still attends school, it’s kinda annoying to hear the same lines over and over again but, her voice is beautiful.” Jeno shared.
silence...
“I want to see her, that girl you keep blabbering about, I want to see her” jaemin said.
“But you’re still not allowed to leave your bed until the doctors said so?”
“Do you think I care? I’ve been in this bed for 5 years it’s time to get up” Jaemin hops down the bed and puts his slippers on, he goes at the door and peeks outside. “There’s no one around let’s go” he says. The hallway was empty and quiet, the nurse who was appointed at the receptionist desk was in deep sleep. It was so easy for the boys to wander around without staffs standing in their way.
There’s no one inside y/n’s room at the moment, she was still unconscious, a nasal cannula place around her nose as it gives her oxygen. “She got hit by car, woke up after 8 months and went to see you, she didn’t woke up again after that” Jeno explains.
Jaemin held your hand, it was cold as ice, i never met you but how come i feel like i already knew you like the back of my hand?
•••
“I can’t decide whether I should take her or not, I’m already late for my given deadline argh” the black suit guy whom you met earlier was watching you from afar kick a vending machine again and again, you weren’t hungry or anything, well you can’t feel any hunger anymore, you’re just an empty lost soul who’s not yet ready to go. “Something is holding her back, like a thin red string attached on her back that trails back to the real world” he rest his head on his palm.
He teleported right in front of you, “it’s only day one what are you doing here?” You ask him.
“Listen missy, I’m just doing my job okay? Just come with me and you’ll be at peac—“ he was cut off when he hears a heartbeat, your heart beat. It was purple and it’s glowing, “what’s happening? What’s happening?!” You shook him.
“Hold on hold on, I’ll get my handbook” he snapped his finger and an old big brown book appeared out of nowhere, he used his powers to flip the pages until it gets to the page he was looking for. He puts his glasses on and reads the text. “Well it seems like your not coming with me anymore, any moment now you’ll come back to the real word BUT you won’t remember everything” he explains.
“Is it temporary? Like after a long time I will regain my memories?”
“I’m afraid not, but at least you’re coming back” the grim reaper hears you sigh,he looks away and flicks your forehead. “ah! what was that for?” you glared at him while rubbing the spot he just flicked. “I did it so you won’t lose your memories, it’s against the rules but it’s my first time doing it so i guess i won’t get fired entirely. Maybe just a few punishments” he shruggs.
“why? why did you cross the line?”
“i want to see how it’s all going to end... don’t worry much kid, i have other back up jobs”
5 days later
“Finally! shit!” You cheered, you’ve lost count on how many tissues you used to remove the ink from your face. 3 minutes before you woke up someone’s kid got inside your ward and drew on your face. Your family was crying and laughing at you at the same time, you were confused at first until your brother handed you a mirror. You dump all the tissues at the trash and went out the bathroom, you were with your brother at the moment because your parents are still at work. 3 more days before you’ll finally be discharge and another 3 days for you to rest at home before going back in action.
You went to the couch where your brother was peacefully sleeping, he’s pretty much also knocked out because of work. You don’t want to disturb him anymore, so you went outside to look around, it’s boring if you just stayed in your room. You found a large garden at the ground floor and went in there, the sunlight is illuminating the whole garden, it just rained a while ago so it looks like there are crystals glued to every plant and flower. All of it shines beautifully. The place looks like those beautiful sceneries in anime’s. Back then at that world everything looks cold, lifeless, almost looks like grey.
You went to the main spot of the garden, the wishing fountain. “Hey little train wait for me.. i was held in chains but now im free” you sang, you stare at your reflection from the water and tucked a strand behind your ear. “I’m hanging in there don’t you see?” out of nowhere, you heard someone whispered the lyrics, you got startled because of it and fell towards the fountain. What if it’s a ghost? You’re in a hospital after all.
“Oh my god i’m so sorry! here let me help you up”
“Good thing i have-- Jaemin?! wait, is that really you?” your eyes widen, you feel your heart beat faster and got goosebumps. He wasn’t wearing a hospital gown anymore, that means he got discharged before you did.
He giggled “why don’t you poke my cheeks again like you did last time?”
#na jaemin#nct u#nct#nct imagines#nct x reader#nct scenarios#nct 2020#nct fluff#nct dream#nct ot23#nct dream x reader#jaemin x reader#jaemin imagines#nct jaemin#silveanna#nct u imagines#nct dream imagines#nct dream fluff#nct dream angst#nct drabbles#nct aus
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