#and want to blog like the so many other people
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General Yandere! Kotarou Bokuto Profile
Yandere! Kotarou Bokuto x reader
TW: kidnapping, possessiveness, mentions of stalking, mentions of masturbation, allusions to somnophilia, Stockholm Syndrome, emotional manipulation, Ko uses you as his emotional support system, delusional behavior, nonconsensual physical affection/touch, vague allusions to non-con, mentions of physical abuse, Kotarou is extremely emotionally needy and physically touchy and just generally quite a handful, mentions of insecurity, fem reader, MDNI
I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!
WC: 11K
DARLING PROFILE:
Introverted
Koutarou is a lot. He knows it, his team knows it, hell, the entire league knows it.
His energy is difficult to match; he’s a ray of sunshine, blinding yet impossible to look away from, someone with boundless amounts of energy, someone friendly and extraverted to an almost extreme.
Because he is so rambunctious and loud, he would actually really enjoy a partner who mellows him out a bit more, someone who isn’t constantly hyper and talkative and wanting to spend hours on end with other people.
He works well with Akaashi; who is quiet, calm and not as talkative, and his darling would likely reflect that in many ways – the serenity, the sense of peace and calmness, the idea that they aren’t constantly jumping with energy, constantly bursting at the seams to go do something.
Ideally though, he’d enjoy a partner who is still willing to talk, who’s willing to indulge him in conversation and compliment him and give him that adorable smile, just not a social butterfly like himself. It makes him feel privileged, special because his darling wants to speak to him, that they’re using their precious social battery on him him him.
He’s in awe that they start conversations with him; his darling, who so often doesn’t utter a word around crazy people such as himself, who sees someone as hyper as him and immediately run for the hills.
It makes his ego flare, and he can’t deny how adorable they are when they get embarrassed at his attention, when they roll their eyes and shove his shoulder lightly, when they freeze and cower as he loudly proclaims his love for them in the middle of the movie theater and everyone looks over.
He loves it, and it’s a nice bonus that it cuts down his competition - less dirty work for him, something Koutarou is very thankful for.
Creative
Volleyball is Kotarou’s life, and as a result he hasn’t had much time to explore anything outside of it. He’s never really tried his hand at painting, playing an instrument, baking, or really any other hobby.
And of course he loves the sport dearly, but there’s something alluring to the idea of a darling that’s invested in something so completely different from himself.
It doesn’t matter what the hobby is - cooking, drawing, writing, singing, it could be anything at all.
But once Kotarou finds out his darling enjoys it, suddenly he becomes obsessed with it, wanting to learn as much as he can and hone as many talents within it as possible. In his eyes, everything his darling does is perfect, so the thing that they love most (aside from him, of course) must be amazing, right? It must be worth his time to learn about it and become familiar with it, if only just to impress his darling, if only just to share even a scrap of the love they feel for it.
He’ll beg and pester his darling to teach him, constantly asking questions and carefully watching their answers.
Because rally, while Kotarou develops an interest in the activity because of his darling’s love, he also becomes familiar with the hobby because he lives for the way their eyes light up when they’re concentrating. They look absolutely gorgeous, even more beautiful than normal, something sparkling in their eyes.
His knees grow weak when he sees them biting their lip or sticking out their tongue in concentration, his feelings only growing ten-fold and becoming stronger because it’s just so incredibly endearing that his darling has something they love enough to be this devoted.
They get this ethereal glow about them and Kotarou genuinely can’t take his eyes off of them when they’re in that mode.
And so instead of listening to their instructions, he finds himself drifting into fantasies of them finally getting that glow and radiance when thinking about him. It’s what fuels him, what gives him energy.
He just wants his darling to adore him in the way that he adores them.
Nurturing
If his darling is anything, they have to be supportive.
Poor Kotarou is in constant need of reassurance, and his darling has to be willing to put up with that. They have to be willing to deal with the emotional labor of constantly praising him, of telling him wonderfully talented he is, how funny, how charming, how handsome, any and all compliments they can think of.
Their kind words go straight to his heart, making his body feel fuzzy and warm, an unstoppable grin stretches across his face and his words excited as he asks them really? Are you sure?
He’s overwhelmed by the idea of his darling thinking such thoughts about him - they think he’s strong? They think he’s talented? They think he’s amazing?
Needless to say, a few simple words of praise from his darling are enough to get Kotarou’s entire mood shifting, his metaphoric feathers ruffling and a pleasant, gooey feeling in his heart making him feel lighter than air because oh, they think he’s attractive and fun to be around?
He loves how easily they’re able to make him feel good about himself, and he can only hope to return the favor.
As a result, he’ll compliment his darling often, completely out of the blue and about odd, but strangely endearing things. He just wants them to feel how good they make him feel, and he’ll do anything to get them there.
Competitive
While his darling needs to be someone capable of spilling praise at a moment’s notice, Kotarou also finds himself attracted to those who has a healthy sense of competition in life.
As a professional athlete, he takes competition very seriously, and is also the type to find that a bit of competition is the perfect thing to spice up a relationship. He loves the idea of having a friendly rivalry with his darling – perhaps at something entirely stupid, like mini-golf or slugbugging or something equally childish.
Regardless, he likes the idea of his darling and him being playful together, of having someone he can establish that teasing rapport with. Besides, while he can sometimes be a bit of an emotional wreck, Kotarou finds emotional intelligence extremely attractive.
Thus, having a partner that’s capable of gracefully winning and losing is wildly attractive to him – they’re able to regulate themselves and put others’ thoughts and feelings into perspective.
He cares too much about other people to have a darling with little to no awareness of others’ feelings, and to have a darling that manages to merge in this awareness alongside a healthy appetite for competition and teasing?
Well, Kotarou finds himself falling hard and fast, loving the idea of a darling who’s so mature yet so wonderfully immature – perfect for someone like him.
(And, though he isn’t consciously thinking about it, perfect for a mother – he won’t explicitly bring up the topic of marriage and children, but he enters every relationship with the thought in mind, always hopeful that perhaps he’s finally found the right woman. And lucky him, he has – his wonderful, wonderful darling.)
GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:
Clingy
He’s naturally quite affectionate with those around him, for better or worse. He’s always looking for someone to talk to, hang out with, goof around with, and once his feelings for you form, so lovely and horrible and overwhelming, this trait is only amplified.
It only increases monumentally with the absolute need to constantly be around you, to have your attention solely on him because god, seeing your pretty eyes focused on him makes his heart race so fast he thinks he’s dying.
He wants you to be looking at him at all times, thinking about him every minute of the day, be craving him as much as he craves you. He wants you to daydream about him smiling at you, making you bite your lip and stare at the ground while you fight back a flustered, school-girl-esque grin because god, isn’t he just so dreamy?
He wants you to be fantasizing about hugging him, feeling his strong, muscular arms wrapped around your body while he nuzzles into your neck, whispering your name in a hoarse voice that gets you shivering and nudging your thighs together because fuck, how can anyone sound that good?
Honestly, the idea of you thinking of him is enough to have him grinning with his eyes squeezed shut, a slight flush on his cheeks as he pumps his fist and lets out a victorious laugh.
(There have been quite a few instances of you patting him on the back, albeit awkwardly, to which he responded with a resounding hey, hey, hey! that sounded much too close to a moan and raised his fist to the sky – you’ve never understood why his voice gets all high and shaky like that, but somehow it seems you’d rather not know the answer.)
He thrives on your physical touch, your sweet words and glossy eyes staying fixed on him, and you’ll quickly notice how Koutarou always seems to just be around, how those golden eyes never really seem to leave, his gray and black hair standing out in your peripheral, followed shortly by a cheerful yell of your name and a bone crushing hug that makes you wheeze and shiver as you realize there’s something pressing into your thigh, oh god why is he hard and nuzzling his face into your neck and is he sighing?
It’s almost flattering at first – not expected, but sweet that he seems to feel so close to you, until it’s happening every day, every time he sees you – he’s always hugging you, holding your hand, ruffling your hair, calling you so cute, isn’t she Akaashi? Makes me wanna eat her right up!
It’s endearing and you’ll be flattered that a famous, attractive professional athlete is so obviously interested in you, but it becomes less and less endearing as time passes. It becomes less cute when he’s making some offhand comment about how you must’ve changed your shampoo – he distinctly remembers your hair smelling like strawberries, and now it has more of a lavender scent; but don’t worry, you smell great either way, cutie!
It becomes less flattering as he tells you while you’re being forced to sit in his lap as the team puts up the volleyball nets that you seemed like you were hesitant to come to practice with me today – is there something I don’t know about? Are you seeing someone else? What aren’t you telling me? It’s not nice to keep secrets from boyfriends, you know.
Quickly you’ll come to realize that Kotarou’s level of dependence on you is completely unwarranted for how close your relationship really is, but there isn’t much you can say to change this fact – he’s clingy, he needs your affection and attention, and when you ask Akaashi or Atsumu about it, about why he seems so needy and so obsessed with you, they’ll both write it off as Bokuto and his fleeting feelings, just his childish nature at work.
And when you try to confront him about it, to tell him that you’re uncomfortable with him suddenly springing up on you from behind, pinning you against a desk with his body looming over you while he inhales deeply and whispers about how pretty you look in your new skirt, he’ll just frown, pouting down at you while he whines about how he isn’t trying to be weird, that he just wants to show you how much he cares, how much he loves you.
He’ll only lean more weight on you, hug you tighter and whisper about how he knows you want this just as bad as he does, that it’s only normal for boyfriends to want to touch their girlfriends, to want to spend time with them and hear their compliments and care for each other.
It’s natural, he explains, to be always by your side, for you to never leave his field of vision – which is why you’ll find yourself coming to most MSBY practices and games decked out in the #12 spare jersey he not so subtly demanded you wear (that still very much has the fresh scent of a recent workout in it – something about pheromones and marking you, Kotarou had explained, with words too quick and slurred for you to really understand).
You’ll find yourself spending most of your meals either by his side or in his lap (trying to ignore the way a certain hardness presses against your ass if you move too much, if you’re squirmin’ so much cutiepie, you okay?).
You’ll be walked home everyday from your job and convinced to spend the evening with him, though he spends more time staring at you than watching the movie you’d thrown on.
And really, you can tell yourself every day that you’ll finally stand up to him, that you’ll finally end this bizarre, possessive behavior coming from a man you aren’t even dating, but each time you bring it up, those soft golden eyes will have you feeling like you’re kicking a puppy, his entire aura being shut down in a heartbeat at your stuttered I-I think we need to take some time apart…
Kotarou isn’t doing it on purpose, but you’ll be extremely hard pressed to ever really change the way he acts around you – it makes you feel too guilty, like you’re spinning the situation into so much more than it really is.
So, when you bite your lip and shake your head, giving him a shaky smile and telling him that you changed your mind, he’s beaming and letting out a cheer and scooping you into his arms to swing you around in circles, despite your demands that you must be too heavy to carry, that he’s making such a scene and the entire restaurant is staring and god, he just loves you so much, he knew you were meant for him and your acceptance only proves this!
It’s not so big a deal, right? Kotarou is mostly harmless, doesn’t mean anything weird by his touchiness, his desperation to be with you, right? It’s just a short term thing, soon his attention will move on, right?
Possessive
Kotarou, while incredibly empathetic and intuitive to other peoples’ emotions, does not handle his own especially well.
He’s terrible at stopping himself from having extreme highs and lows over the pettiest things, and this doesn’t stop at just volleyball, at just his normal life – no, his love for you is most definitely affected by this as well. Namely, in the form of jealousy; he’s a firm believer in faithfulness and loyalty, in the idea that you have one and only one partner, that they should be enough for you and that other men and women are essentially just background noise for the real one, the one that makes your heart race, your palms sweat and a lovely sort of nervousness to grow in the pit of your stomach.
He’s always believed in this, and once his infatuation with you forms, this philosophy most certainly doesn’t change; if anything, he clings onto the idea with frantic fingers, clutching at the concept of you looking at no one else for any reason whatsoever.
He’s plagued with the fear that someone will try and interfere with your relationship, that someone will come along and try and tear the two of you apart – he’s terrified of losing you, of losing who he genuinely believes to be his true love to some other man, to some other loser who decided you were pretty and would be a fun catch.
Kotarou is self-aware enough to know that he isn’t the ideal man, that you likely don’t love his mood swings, his habits of switching emotions quicker than you can likely keep up. He knows this, which is why it makes it so much more painful when that coworker of yours starts talking to you more, looking at you with such light and happy eyes, staring at you with what Kotarou is absolutely sure is a blush on his cheeks, when he’s leaning in way too much.
His possessiveness flares up especially in his sadder moments – when he’s already spiraling into a fit of self-doubt, it’s easy to read too far into any situation in which your gaze flickers over to another guy, easy to over examine the way you quickly apologize after bumping into a player on the opposite team in the hallway.
It’s so fucking easy to feel like his place as your rightful partner, as your lover and boyfriend and future husband is being threatened when he sees literally anyone approach you – because really, Kotarou can’t help but wonder if you’d like them more, if maybe you’re only nice to him and letting him hug you, compliment you, and everything else because you feel sorry for him, because you’re pitying him.
And it’s those thoughts that drive him to march up to you and pull you into his chest, to press your ear against his heart while he buries his face in your hair, tears streaming down his cheeks as he asks in a whisper if he’s still enough, if you’ve found someone else, if you even really love him.
And really, as disarming and disorienting as it is, there’s some part of you that will feel bad for him, that will want to comfort this man so obviously in need of praise, so obviously in need of someone to tell him that yes, he’s enough, yes you love him and you’ll always love him.
Even if it’s not true – even if it’s just something you’re saying out of a misplaced sense of guilt, even if it’s something you’ll find yourself horribly regretting the deeper into delusion Kotarou sinks. And so, as you promise that you do in fact want him, that you need him as badly as he needs you and that you’ll never, ever leave him, Kotarou slowly begins to relax, melting into your arms and trying to calm his ragged breaths, the racing of his heart, the tears flowing down his cheeks.
It’s difficult, but as he pulls back and sees your confused, beautiful fucking face, a small smile makes its way onto his lips, the knowledge that you’ll never leave him ringing in his head. Because really, how could he ever ask for anything more?
All he needs is you you you, and now that you’ve promised him, he’ll hold you to it. And when you’re trapped by his side some time later, those strong arms wrapped suffocatingly tight around your waist and his grin big and dopey and scary as he promises to never, ever let you leave his side, you’ll really only have yourself to blame. Because really, while Kotarou’s jealousy manifests mostly as self-deprication and an increased need for your reassurance and praise, ultimately you’ll be the one to push forward his dependence on you.
You’re the one telling him that he’s wonderful, that you’re not interested in any other men, that he’s every girl’s dream. It’s small things that slowly build up, feeding into Kotarou’s delusions until he’s too far gone to really even listen to you anymore; picking and choosing what he wants to hear from you, twisting your words into some grand declaration of love that gets him smiling like a fool, crushing you into his arms and leaving your lips bruised with the ferocity of his kisses.
You’re just so perfect, huh?
Delusional
But in an extremely specific way – on his own, Kotarou isn’t a particularly delusional man. He’s tied to his beliefs, yes, but he’s grounded and lucid enough to understand the importance of seeing multiple perspectives, of listening to others, of staying in touch with reality and not letting himself get too carried away.
And this is still true in the beginnings of his obsession – he knows that you’re just friends, that you have a budding friendship that he’d like to progress into something more, something deeper and more romantic in its origin. And he’s strict about this for a long time – going to Akaashi for dating advice or asking the ever-grumpy Sakusa how he thinks Kotarou should approach you.
(Akaashi gives much, much more insightful advice than his teammate, of course – telling Kotarou to take things slow and listen to what you want, to let you guide the pace and direction of the relationship. Sakusa merely scoffs and tells him to stop being loud and irritating, and you might have a shot.)
And Kotarou sticks to this advice well in the beginning – establishing a positive connection with you and letting you get comfortable, your friendship blossoming and growing into one that you can foresee being one of your most cherished.
But then elements of his infatuation begin developing, and suddenly that advice gets a bit warped, his understanding of your intentions slowly crumbling away because of one critical, crucial factor: Kotarou grows an incredibly strong sense of attachment towards you.
He’s already quite physically touchy and needy as it is, but as his obsession with you progresses, this dependency morphs into not only the more tactile side of things, but his mental state as well. He quickly grows to absolutely need you in every sense of the word; you’re something that keeps him tethered, grounded. Your love and attention is something that he needs in order to survive, in order to wake up everyday and get himself out of bed because he knows that he’ll get to see you today, to hug you and touch you and maybe even kiss you if he can catch you off guard enough.
Within the span of a few months after he recognizes that his feelings for you are more romantic than platonic, Koutarou’s entire mental health and wellbeing revolves around you and the attention you give him.
The advice of his friends still rings through his head, but he instead begins interpreting your actions as you wanting to foster this dependency of his. He thinks that you’re aware of his brewing feelings, and that you feel the same way – surely that’s what you mean when you always praise him, right? His every action comes back to you; he hits a spike in a match he got you exclusive, front-row player’s box seats for?
Well, he’s immediately peering up into the stands, golden eyes frantically searching for you, and once he spots you he’s waving like a madman, blowing obnoxious kisses at you, proudly exclaiming that was for you babe! And he’ll keep going until you acknowledge him, until you give him a thumbs up and a toothy smile, until you yell back that you’re so proud of you, Ko!
(Of course, the phrasing of ‘babe’ is a bit suspect, but you’ll blame it on mishearing him in the loud, packing stadium.)
When he tries out a new recipe for a particular dish he knows you love, he’s eager to call you, begging you to drop whatever it is you’re doing and swing by his apartment to try because he really, really needs you to say you like it.
(He’ll be watching with rapt attention as you hover the fork to your lips, practically not breathing as he watches you chew and swallow, his palms so sweaty and clammy that he nearly drops the pan in excitement when you compliment the food. Don’t pay attention to the way he gulps loud enough for you to hear, nor the way he grabs you by the waist and spins you around, laughing that booming laugh of his and seeming much too joyous for a simple well-cooked meal.)
Everything comes back to the basic principal that Koutarou just wants desperately to impress you – he thrives on your praise, seeing you proud of him and happy to call him yours, and he’s leaping at each and every possible chance to achieve that, to make you laugh and wrap your arms around him, to whisper into his ear that you’re so proud baby, I know you worked so hard, now what’dya say we go home and I reward you for all that hard work, just how you like it?
He’s committed to being your dream partner, to being someone you can proudly call your own, and he quite literally needs you praise and validation in every aspect of his life to solidify his delusions about the way you feel for him – your opinion is something he values over his own life, your presence something he genuinely believes he can’t live without, and so to have you by his side constantly, always smiling at him and making him feel so giddy and happy is something that Kotarou really honestly needs.
The bottom line is that his entire emotional and mental state rests firmly upon your shoulders, firmly upon your reactions to the things he does for you – so keep that in mind as he rushes up to you with the excitement and energy of a puppy, ranting and raving about how he managed to hit one of Atsumu’s new kinds of tosses or block one of Hinata’s best spikes.
Keep it in mind as he presses you flush against his body, his face buried into your neck, his audible inhale and whimper that vibrates against your skin making a shiver shoot up your spine in anything but pleasure. Keep in mind that now it’s your responsibility to keep Kotarou happy, that your job is essentially to make sure that he stays at least somewhat stable.
(With the pressure coming from the entire management staff of the MSBY team, who’ve realized that Kotarou has a bit of a massive crush on you – you, who isn’t doing the best financially, who could very much not survive a class-action lawsuit for ruining one of their star players.)
And once he’s stolen away, it’s your responsibility to keep him happy so that he keeps leaving the apartment, leaving you, making sure that you have enough food and water to survive, so that his depressive episodes don’t cost you your life.
So really, have fun; because eventually the emotional toll will hit you, but don’t worry because Kotarou will be right there to help pick you up again.
DEALING WITH RIVALS:
Because his jealous streak is really quite strong, Koutarou has a tendency to misinterpret nearly every single interaction you have with a member of the opposite sex.
He’s automatically assuming that everyone is interested in you, that everyone wants to date you and make you smile and kiss you and fuck you, all of which are things that only he should be allowed to do. He’s jumping to conclusions before things really even happen, sure that you’ll somehow be manipulated into leaving him, into leaving the happy, loving relationship you share with him.
It’s a fear that permeates his every moment when he’s away from you (something that is admittedly quite rare, but still), that seeps into the back of his mind no matter how hard he tries to convince himself that you love him, that you’d never cheat on him or trade him in for someone better.
Of course, he trusts you enough to not immediately act upon his jealousy when he notices another man in your vicinity. Rather, he’ll start demanding your attention even more, trying to keep you physically turned away from the stranger and keep your eyes focused only on Kotarou, because if you can’t see the man, the man can’t see you, right?
It’s poor logic, and Kotarou panics the entire time he tries to stall, only able to imagine the way you’d look by this new man’s side.
And at the end of the day, that’s really it – Kotarou knows that he’s not perfect. You, with your lovely figure, beautiful face, wonderful personality, and many talents, could really get any guy of your choice. So why would you want him?
He seems confident, like he has no doubts about himself and his abilities, and for the most part he doesn’t, but there’s just something about you that makes him constantly reanalyze himself, that makes him wonder if he’s really enough, if he could ever really be enough for someone as perfect as you.
Sure he’s athletic, friendly, handsome, kind, but he’s not the number one hitter in the league, not the brightest, not the most charming, not the best looking or most mysterious or funniest or any number of other things that you might find more attractive.
And as time passes this eats away at Kotarou’s mind, driving him insane the longer it occupies the back of his thoughts because he just can’t shake the image of you in another man’s arms, laughing and kissing them and just being so fucking happy without him.
He’s dependent on you to an unhealthy degree, absolutely fixated on the idea of needing you in his life, and so Kotarou doesn’t really hold back in terms of trying to control his jealousy – he knows he needs to step in before you even get the chance to be lulled in by some other man. He needs to interfere before he loses you forever, and while he knows you’re probably embarrassed by how he barges in anytime you talk to someone else, Kotarou doesn’t let it hold him back.
Nothing can hold him back in the face of something as terrifying as losing you.
You’d never pegged Kotarou as one for video games, but when he’d dragged you to the new arcade that opened up a few blocks from his house, he practically seemed like a child in a toystore.
With his hand wrapped tightly around yours, he’d led you through row after row of game machines, golden eyes wide as he pointed to each and every one, promising you that he’d beat this one in two tries, or that one with his eyes closed. It’d been endearing in a way, watching how excited he’d gotten, before he dragged you over to a game in the far corner with especially bright lights and all sorts of noises coming from it.
He’d challenged you, telling you with a booming laugh that he’d bet you couldn’t beat him, a challenge you eagerly accepted. And really, while he’d been mildly embarrassed to sheepishly admit he’d run out of quarters after his fifth try through the game, it didn’t stop him from practically sprinting up to the ticketing counter, digging in his wallet for the largest dollar bill he had on hand to trade in. Leaving you alone at the game, biting your lip and reading over all the cartoon-style text decorating the game’s exterior.
You were so engrossed in the game’s appearance that you didn’t hear the blond man’s calls to you, shy little excuse me’s falling on deaf ears. Soon a tapping at your shoulder tapped you out of your reverie, spinning around to come face to face with a man you’d never seen before. Sandy blond hair and thick rimmed glasses sitting atop a rather brightly colored dress shirt and dark jeans.
Do you know how to play? Even his voice seemed timid, and while you were a bit shocked at his question, you’d only smiled and said no, hoping the man would drop some hints on ways to beat Kotarou – hearing his boasting was worse than hearing his moping, after all.
The man seemed relieved, moving forward to restart the game and talking you through the level, telling you tips on when to jump, which treasure chests were worth more, tricks on how to move the toggle piece, even telling you that the game would sometimes glitch and delete off ten seconds to your total time if you moved just right.
You’d thanked him profusely, excitement brewing in your chest at the thought of how you would crush Kotarou, but the sudden feeling of being watched washed over you and left you stiffening up, no longer paying attention to the stranger’s words.
In less than a moment, you were suddenly pushed from behind, spun around so that your back was pressed against the arcade wall, the breath knocked out of your lungs and Kotarou’s face – fit with a scowl – filling up your entire view.
Your surprised yelp was cut off by him suddenly lunging forward, his lips settling onto yours hard enough to make you flinch a bit. He kissed you roughly, loudly, the sound of wet smacking filling your ears and surely the stranger’s, if his facial expression was anything to go by. With red cheeks and a shocked look spread across his features, the man was quick to stutter an apology and speed off, trying to avoid the sight of Kotarou pressing you tighter against the wall and the sound of his groans and grunts.
As soon as the man was out of sight, Kotarou pulled back, licking his lips and looking at you with something akin to hunger swirling in those golden eyes.
Who was that?
Is all he got out, hands still firmly placed at your waist.
Your shock barred you from answering right away, before a resounding smack rung through his ears, the mild pain of your slap to his chest leaving him winded, the pleasant sensation of you touching him numbing out some of the hot, angry envy in his veins.
What the hell was that, Kotarou? You practically yell at him, the sound drowned out by the ringing of a few games nearby.
Kotarou only sighs, squeezing your sides and fixing you with an unblinking stare.
That man was bothering you, couldn’t he see you were here with me?
At your bewildered look, he merely laughed, one hand coming up to teasingly ruffle your hair. Don’t worry about it, I’m sure he’ll leave us alone for the rest of the day. Now c’mon, I got more quarters – watch me win!
And just like that, he seemed to have forgotten all about the rather heated, intimate moment he’d instigated – all smiles and laughter and taunts for the rest of the day as you shakily and wearily settled by his side, trying to rationalize that perhaps it looked different to an outsider.
Perhaps Kotarou thought the man was bothering you, and was worried he’d only get the hint through extreme measures. And he’s always been a bit extreme and exaggerated, surely he meant nothing by the kiss – even if it had been rather graphic, even if he’d been practically moaning at just the taste of you.
That must be it, you decide, as Kotarou whines and pouts about losing the level once more, begging you to give him just one more try. The small, half-hearted smile you give him is enough permission for him, and just that look settles the raging jealousy in his heart.
You were looking at him again, just as you should be – him and him only.
(And later that night, that’s what’s falling past his lips in a mantra as he vividly remembers the feel of your body in his hands, your lips pressed against his own, the smell of you clouding his every breath.)
TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:
Kotarou’s infatuation with you is, in most ways, strange.
He’s utterly obsessed, of course – his every waking moment is either revolving around volleyball or you, often times mixing and jumbling up so that he’s imagining all sorts of things that get him grinning like a fool, his cheeks bright red and his breathing too heavy to be considered normal.
(Things like seeing you wear his jersey, for example, or having you toss him a ball that he smacks so hard it hurts, seeing your impressed and flustered expression as he teases you about how strong he is. The kind of thing that makes his chest swell with pride, that makes him bite his lip and clutch at his covers late at night when he’s dreaming and wanting and needing you.)
His feelings for you carelessly breach any sort of trust or boundaries between the two of you, and for the most part Kotarou doesn’t see an issue with this.
Of course you probably don’t like when he checks the tracker he’d installed into your phone, but it’s just for safety and he’s sure you’ll eventually understand! It’s unsafe to let someone like you travel around alone at night (or in the day, or in crowded streets or public parks or even in the safety of your own home-).
He’s just taking an extra precaution to make sure someone’s got an eye on you – he’d be more than happy to install a tracker into his phone for you to keep tabs on his location too, if you’d like. (And oh, he wishes you’d like that.)
You’re probably not the biggest fan of when he wraps an arm around you in public, beaming and planting a wet, long kiss against your temple as he greets you, walking to your favorite coffee shop with his arm still wrapped around you, migrating down to your waist and making walking uncomfortable while he prattles on and on about his latest training regiment.
(And sure, maybe he’s exaggerating just a hair about how much he can bench press, or how fast his serves are, but those golden eyes of his are constantly scanning your expressions, looking for even the slightest hint of awe, analyzing any signs that you’re impressed with his physical prowess, his dedication. Impressed by him, really.)
And so really, Kotarou breaks every physical and intangible barrier and wall that you have down, slowly and bit by bit until you’re so desensitized to his antics and his behavior towards you that you stop questioning it. You’re not exactly supportive of the possessive, overly clingy way he treats you, but it’s just Kotarou, so really how harmful can it be? He’s just a silly, overgrown puppy of a man, and why should you ever be afraid of him?
And Kotarou’s feelings towards your living situation reflect this sentiment – that is, he absolutely does not want to kidnap you.
Not only does he find the term entirely unapplicable to your situation if he were to steal you away (because he’s convinced that on some core level you’d actually be pleased, like you want him to whisk you away and keep you wrapped up in his apartment as his little housewife), but it leaves an unpleasant taste in his mouth to imagine keeping you cooped up in one place all the time.
He loves to be out with you, to take you to markets and restaurants and movies and all sorts of other things – he likes having you out in public. It stresses him out a bit, yes, constantly being vigilant and aware of any man that tries to approach you, but by and large he finds that he enjoys your company most and enjoys showing you off most when you’re not all alone at home.
That isn’t to say that he dislikes cozy movie nights spent on his couch with now-cold takeout sprawled across the table, but there’s just something special about seeing you laugh so hard you cry because of him in a busy, sunny street café where everyone can see just how entertained you are by him.
(Those cozier evenings are of course favorites of him, though, because he gets to see a more intimate side of you – when you get sleepy and your eyes start drooping, he has to physically hold himself back from cooing and squishing your cheeks. And especially when you fall asleep on his shoulder or shift just right so that he worm his way into your arms, noticing how your flimsy sleeping shorts ride up just a hair to expose the lower curve of your ass, his mouth is left watering and his own shorts feel uncomfortably tight – something he'd be absolutely crazy to dislike.)
And so, Kotarou will hold off for as long as possible on stealing you away, just for the selfish reason of being able to drag you to all his games, to pretty dates (that you aren’t aware are dates, of course, but that’s just a technicality), to keep you happy and excited and free by his side.
But if things were to go south and you started to really critically analyze his behavior and decide that you don’t want to remain in his life?
Well, Kotarou has never quite felt panic like when you swing by his apartment one last time to announce that you’re moving away. He’s never quite felt a level of dismay like when you tell him you’ll be blocking his number because he’s made you uncomfortable, or when you tell him you’ll be crashing at a male friend’s place.
And really, that last portion is the kicker – it sends Kotarou’s mind spiraling, panic engulfing him and leading him to grab you, his hands shaking as he holds you, eyes flashing as he drags you to his bedroom, holding you down on the bed and using a spare t-shirt to tie up your wrists and ankles.
He’s never known fear like this before, and as he stares down at you – writhing, looking at him with tears in your eyes, looking at him –
He’s never quite known excitement like this before, either.
As a captor, Kotarou isn’t terrible – with one glaring exception: he’s needy. You’ve known this for as long as you’ve known him, but once you’re trapped in his home this is only amplified, the clinginess getting worse and worse because you have no way to dissuade his touchiness, no way to distract him away with outside people and activities.
No, now it’s strictly you and him – which is heaven for Kotarou, exactly what he’s been fantasizing about come to life.
Unfortunately for you, this means excessive time spent together and a lot of physical contact. Though his delusions aren’t quite deep enough to fully mask the fact that you’re unhappy, Kotarou is able to chalk up your lack of enthusiasm for things you did pre-kidnapping as you simply being moody, shy, womanly.
It’s infuriating how much he blames your behavior on your hormones and menstrual cycle.
He’s practically impossible to deal with once your period begins, his touches soft and gentle and nearly scared, treating you like you’re some breakable, delicate piece of treasure that can’t do anything on your own.
He’ll cook meals for you, then promptly bring the chopsticks up to your mouth and say ahh, smiling like a fool as he guides the ramen past your lips, nodding enthusiastically when you chew.
He’ll hold your hand and help you walk around the apartment, big eyes wide and worried when you near any corners, terrified that you’ll somehow hurt yourself because you’re distracted with cramp pain or simply having brain fog. And really, it would be endearing how earnestly he’s trying to make you comfortable and provide for you during your time of the month, but there’s something truly humiliating about the level of disregard he feels for your complaints, simply smiling lopsidedly at you and telling you don’t worry, I’ll make it all better! I’ve got some of that chocolate you like, you want some? I can heat up your heating pad too, and we can watch some old reruns of my games – you’d like that, right? You like watching me play, yeah?
And really, that’s the main thing with Kotarou – the level of care and attention he both gives to you and demands from you is incredibly draining.
The constant feeling of walking on eggshells around him is enough to have your mind running in circles, constantly worried that you’ll say the wrong thing about his personality or his actions and have him moping, convinced that you’re just being mean because you’re disappointed in him, that you’re just playing hard to get because he hasn’t been treating you like you deserve. And so how does he respond to this?
By giving you more attention, swamping you with questions and touches and all sorts of things for the two of you to do together. He’s always forcing you onto the couch to try out a new video game Akinori mentioned when he last ran into him, or watching a scary movie and clutching onto you for dear life at every jump scare.
(He thinks it’s romantic, but the slight bruising left on your thighs and sides from his very, very tight grip are less sweet.)
He’s just generally so very out of touch with how you’re feeling that it’s infuriating – but you have to be careful, because everything you do and say will only cause him to grasp onto you tighter, clutching onto you with more strength than you can handle because his entire mental wellbeing is still resting firmly on your shoulders. He forces you to sleep in bed beside him, waking up to you tangled in his arms every morning, starting his day off right and making it slightly easier to leave you for early morning trainings.
(He has to wake up with you every morning or else he feels like something’s off, his performance severely lacking and the only thing that can fix it being excessive affection from you – something a bit difficult to come by.)
He forces you to share meals with him because it gives him a reason to unabashedly stare at you (though he does this anyway, frequently) and watch as you eat the food he provided you. He has to be the sole one cooking or buying you take out, because it feeds the narrative he’s crafted in his head that he’s your provider, that he’s taking care of you, that he’s being a good male partner and spoiling his perfect little wife.
(Of course, you may not be married yet, but to Kotarou it’s just a matter of time – you’re already entwined in every possible way, living together and spending every waking moment together, so why bother with formal ceremonies and official titles when he can just buy a diamond and slip onto your finger with a toothy grin and a much too long and much too detailed declaration of his love? Of course, if you want the ceremony he’d be more than willing to give it to you, but he’s content with the knowledge that you’re his and his alone already.)
So really, if you can handle his hands constantly being on you, his lips always pressed against your skin, his voice always ringing in your ears, and his presence always a looming shadow over you demanding your praise and attention and time, Kotarou isn’t terrible.
There’s shades of genuine love in how he treats you – the gentleness in his touches, the tenderness of his compliments, the way he’ll moan into your ear the most adoring, utterly pathetic things as he settles himself between your legs.
There’s evidence that he truly loves you in some horrible, twisted way, but it all just feels like too much. Too forceful, too desperate, too passionate, too him.
But no amount of trying to get through to him will ever change the way he treats you, or ever persuade him into loosing the metaphorical lease he keeps you on – you’re his, and no matter how hard you try Kotarou will always firmly believe that fate has brought you together.
And isn’t that so romantic?
PUNISHMENTS:
In general, it’s rare for Kotarou to get genuinely angry at you.
Of course he has his highs and lows – he may be unwilling to seriously listen to your complaints or insults hurled at him, but he’s not inhuman. He still knows that you’re being mean – criticizing him and visibly displeased with him, and just that fact alone has his eyes drooping, guilt, self-pity and shame resting heavily on his shoulders.
His delusions about your feelings for him bar him from fully comprehending that your anger lies in the fact that he’s kidnapped you rather than not cuddling with you the night before, but he can still tell that something is amiss. He doesn’t like when you aren’t smiling and happy, when you’re bothered and troubled, when you aren’t acting like you used to, back before he relocated you to his apartment.
It’s upsetting, really, and it leaves Kotarou desperate to figure out how to get a grin back onto your lips, how to make you laugh, how to please you again. A lot of Kotarou’s anger and punishments stem from a place of insecurity and worry about your perception of him – he’s really quite sensitive, especially coming from someone he idolizes and reveres as much as you, and so his solutions to any sort of non-desirable behavior from you is to simply try harder.
It’s seemed to have worked in his career – hours upon hours upon hours spent lagging after practices to work on his spikes just a bit more, to serve just a few more balls, to get just a bit better.
And he applies this same principle with you – he’d rather pull his nails off one by one than physically hurt you or deny you of food and water or leave you all alone or any number of things he could do to force your codependency on him to become stronger.
And so, Kotarou wracks his brain for any and all possibilities on how to get you to like him more, on how to make you happy, on how to be a better boyfriend.
And frankly, it results in a much, much worse time for you.
If you thought Kotarou was clingy before you yelled at him for installing locks on his windows, then he’s downright glued to your side afterwards, his breath constantly fanning on your cheeks and his voice seemingly never ending as it rings over and over and over in your ears.
If you thought being in the same room as him was difficult before you slapped him across the face for giving your ass a playful squeeze, it’s nothing compared to how he plants more and more kisses onto your unwilling lips, leaving pretty dresses and lacy lingerie out on your (forcefully shared) bed for you, the way he starts piling on the compliments with such frequency and urgency that it nearly makes you sick.
Kotarou has always been a lot, truly, and once his feelings for you are thrown into the mix he becomes too much – and when you’re angry at him, ignoring him or hurling insults at him or denying his affection?
Well, the sadness quickly dissipates into fear, anxiety eating at every inch of his body because what if you hate him now?
You’re meant for one another, sure, but what if he’s messed it all up by not being enough for you?
It’s the stuff of nightmares, and in order to correct it he’ll instead become your nightmare.
You hear him before you see him – his keys jingle loudly in his pocket, the rhythmic noises of the padlock on the front door locking back up sounding too familiar now. You’re sitting at the dining table, staring down at the new book Kotarou had gifted you a week ago – you’ve read it twice already in that span of time, but as his footsteps approach the kitchen area, you resolve to read it once again.
His voice is loud as he calls your name, and you can hear the smile on his face as his footsteps quicken, his pace nearly turning to a run as he approaches you. His arms are around you before you can stop them, his words already pouring out as he starts telling you all about his day, rambling on about how Meian and Hinata had promised to take Kotarou out to a new bar later this week.
He’s still hugging you as he goes on to tell you that it’s supposed to be super good, I’ll have to let you know how it is! Maybe I can bring something home for you – I know your favorite’s always been –
Your mouth is moving before you can even really stop yourself, the words seeming to burst out without your control. Don’t tell me about all your plans in the outside world – not when I’m stuck here wasting away in this fucking apartment.
Your voice is low, uneven, and immediately Kotarou tenses, his eyebrows drawing together into a pout. What are you talking about? I just want to bring you a good drink and maybe we can watch that trashy rom-com you love and –
You cut him off again by harshly shaking off his arms from around you, moving your elbows out in an attempt to get him off of you.
Don’t you get it? I don’t want you to get me a drink! I don’t want you to do anything for me – you need to let me go, Kotarou. You can’t keep me stuck here forever! I should be out there getting a drink too, and going to the fucking store and seeing my friends and living my life! You’re – you’re a terrible person, and I hate you!
Your chest is heaving by the time you finish your spiel, having started off in that same low tone but eventually getting to a yell. He’d backed off of you, watching you with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, his mind racing and trying to understand what you could possibly mean.
Stuck here? What were you saying?
You were happy here – you always return his hugs and his kisses and let him pull you closer to his chest at night and laugh at his jokes and smile at him and say you love him to and and and –
He moves back towards you, going to wrap his arms around you again, but this time you stand up and scurry off to the other end of table and now Kotarou can see the way your eyes are glossy, how you’re on the verge of tears and your lip is trembling.
Leave me alone, I can’t stand you! Not after what you’ve done to me!
And with that, you turn tail and run off to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind you. Behind the door your hands shake, the tears finally falling as you slide down the wood, landing in a sitting position and cursing Kotarou for not putting locks on the interior doors.
A fresh wave of tears falls down your cheeks as you realize you can’t even use the toilet in peace, not without the constant, lingering threat of him watching you. It’s too much, and soon your head is in your hands, sobs wracking your body.
Meanwhile, Kotarou is still standing frozen, his heart and mind racing because you’re obviously upset. He doesn’t know why you’re overreacting like this, but the image of you with tears in your eyes pulls at his heartstrings, prompting him to rush and grab his car keys once more, flying out the front door and practically speeding to the nearest store, his grocery cart full.
He’s home roughly twenty minutes later, tears already pooling in his own eyes because the more he’s thought about the state you’re in the more he comes to the conclusion that it’s his fault, that he must’ve made you angry or sad and now he has to fix it.
He has to show you that you don’t hate him – you’re just having a rough day, that’s all. You’re just sad that he’s been gone all day and hasn’t been home to give you the proper love and care that you deserve. His fingers grip the steering wheel tightly even to leave his knuckles white, his teeth grinding and gritting together as he presses down on the gas gauge just a hair harder, desperation and guilt weighing heavily in his chest because god, he hates seeing you so upset.
And as he races back up to the apartment with all the groceries in his arms, he’s quick to wrap his fist against the bathroom door, asking in a breathless voice if you’re okay or if you’re hurt.
You’re still quietly crying, sniffling heavily and trying to ignore him as he knocks again. He knows he could bust the door open, easily overpowering you and giving him direct access to you, but the hurt look in your eyes flashes through his mind again and he decides against it. No, he needs to prove that he’s good enough at reading you and figuring out what you need – he needs to prove himself to you, to make you like him again.
He calls your name through the door again, before resting his forehead against the wood and wincing. I’m sorry for whatever I did, baby, I promise I didn’t mean it!
He hears you scoff at that, and bites his lip.
You know me, sometimes I just get carried away! I never meant to make you upset, you’ve got to know that. He pauses, shifting around the bags in his arms. You mean so much to me, I love you. I love you more than I think I should, but it’s okay! I’ll be better for you, I promise. I’ll be a better boyfriend and I’ll make you happy. Just – you just have to let me try, okay? Please baby, let me try.
It’s silent for a moment, and Kotarou’s chest feels tight.
Please, he tries one last time.
And although you know you shouldn’t and that you’ll regret it, some small part of you almost feels bad as you hear him sniffle through the wood, the sound of him crying obvious. You bite your lip, a small voice in the back of your head quietly wondering if you should believe him.
After all, does he really make you that unhappy? He’s always so eager and pathetically excited when you smile at him, and is it really so bad to have someone give you all their attention and time? You’re ashamed to admit some part of you almost likes it, and soon your body is moving before you can stop it.
The door opens and Kotarou’s heart is in his throat, the sight of you with red, puffy eyes and your lip caught between your teeth making something between a sigh of relief and a whimper slip from him.
The multitude of bags precariously balanced in his arms immediately have your eyes widening, the names of your favorite snacks peeking through the sacks and making that same pang in your heart twist again, the knowledge that he went out and bought all of this for you just because you were sad forcing you to take a step forward.
You don’t say anything, and Kotarou stares at you with wide eyes, a wild sort of look overtaking his parted lips and pink cheeks, and when you mumble something small, he has to physically strain himself to hear you.
You repeat your favorite drink, swallowed harshly and struggling to make eye contact with him. He mouths it back to himself, before slowly, shyly, smiling down at you.
You won’t regret, I promise! He laughs, the sound relieved, dropping all of the shopping bags on the ground and immediately scooping you into his arms, hugging you so tightly you nearly can’t breath, all the while that familiar, chiming laughter fills your ears.
I love you, I love you, I love you he repeats into your ear, keeping you close and occasionally squeezing tighter.
And even as something crumbles up inside you, you find yourself wrapping your arms around him too, shoving your face against his chest and nodding, your words muffled as you murmur the smallest I love you, too back.
And Kotarou can only beam down at you, repeating the phrase over and over until all the words start slurring together, until all you can do is slowly relax into the warmth of his arms, into the feeling of someone completely and utterly loving you.
OVERALL DANGER:
6/10
Kotarou is less dangerous and honestly more pathetic than anything else.
He’s a fully grown man who’s desperate for someone to love, whose desperation becomes so deeply ingrained in his feelings towards you that he clutches onto you and never lets go.
Reading into your feelings festers delusions about how you feel towards him, feeding him pretty lies about how you really feel and what your actions really mean.
He builds a relationship between the two of you in his head, growing closer and more intimate with you than socially acceptable for a friendship, becoming more and more dependent on you and the praise you so willingly give him.
It’s heaven, really, and it leaves Kotarou blinded to the ugly side of his obsession.
He’s clingy and overly possessive, always touching you and calling you his and making sure that everyone sees the two of you together – that everyone knows that you’re his woman and he’s your man.
He wants to make sure that your relationship – fake or not – is idyllic, that you’re so happy with him that you could never even dream of wanting another man, never even entertain the notion of needing anyone else because Kotarou is everything you could ever want.
And while he won’t explicitly acknowledge any behavior that clashes with the pretty image of you and your love that he’s crafted in his head, he’s not immune to your negative reception of his touches and his rather aggressive affection.
You’ll have to walk on eggshells around him, careful to keep him from falling deeply into a spiral that could lead to your own slow demise being trapped under his thumb.
It’s stressful, a lifestyle that’ll leave you haggard and spent, tired to the point where slowly it will stop feeling like an act to return his hugs, to compliment his muscles, to tell him that you missed him while he was away at work.
It will feel less and less like a lie, the words slipping off your tongue so easily that it’ll leave you scared.
Because really, while Kotarou is overbearing and quite honestly scary with the way he barrels forwards and takes whatever he wants from you, eventually you’ll find yourself less and less angry, and more and more complacent. It could be worse, couldn’t it?
You have a warm bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, and food to eat.
And the man that holds you flush to his chest in said bed, pays the rent for said roof, and hand-selects only meals he knows you like can’t possibly be that bad, right?
After all, doesn’t it feel good to be needed?
#_kotarou bokuto#_lee's profiles#_haikyuu#yandere haikyuu#yandere bokuto#yandere kotaro bokuto#yandere kotarou bokuto#yandere haikyuu x reader#yandere bokuto x reader#yandere kotarou bokuto x reader
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One of two obsessed john price ideas, and whatever lucky souls that find this blog get to decide.
1st. Roommate John price, where despite you never seeing him, only on rare occasions, you two are seemingly civil towards each other, and it’s like you don’t even have someone living with you, but he always pays rent on time and shit like that.
But, one day, you offhandedly mention that you guys are technically common law now since it’s been three years
(shout out to that one creator who had this concept but Ghoap)
and he goes fucking feral. Suddenly, John’s here all the goddamn time, and you’re being treated to Breakfast, Praise, anything of the sort. Needed to fold your laundry? John did it. Want someone to watch a movie with? Price has the popcorn. Need a hug after a long day, John’s already scooping you up into his arms with a small kiss on the head. And the worst part, is the Rings. He’s offered you so many goddamn rings it’s scary.
And- i gotta stop there for that one.
2nd. Ai (kinda?) John price, like it’s the distant future, whether this is just at home and it’s like the latest thing, or your a space captain on the ship, either way you’ve like an ai personal assistant, or.. guard dog. Apparently.
John Price the ai (i will not use ai to write this, trust bestie) is weirdly overprotective of you from going outside the vicinity, getting seemingly worried every time you’re going on a date? But how could he be worried, he’s just an ai.. right? He can’t like, really feel emotions, it’s just fake.
Oh, but it’s real, at least price thinks it’s real, even if he knows deep in his programming it’s not, he can’t help himself from worrying about this poor weak thing, it was programmed in him to care for the weak. So that’s what he’s doing! Even if it means locking all entrances from your property, not letting anyone in or out.
And he swears, god he swears, he will tear out of the flesh imitated circuit and hold your frail little body one day. Even if it means death for some people.
Anyway. Pick one, or don’t, don’t care either way. (I do, I’m lying to you blatantly.)
#captain john price x reader#john price#john price x reader#john price x male reader#john price x you#captain john price#John price x fem reader#captain price#Yandere john price#yandere drabble#yandere thoughts#yandere writing#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#John price x chubby reader#Who said that#not me#hahahah#shut up
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I'm a new 9-1-1 viewer (binge watched the first 6 seasons like two weeks before the new one came out and been watching season 7 as it comes out) and I'm so glad I found your blog because it annoys me how most of the conversation around the show is always about b*ddie and I really needed to find people who weren't b*ddie shippers. Like, I get why people ship it even if I don't particularly see it or agree with it but they're always trying to prove how this plot point or the other points at them becoming canon next episode and it's so annoying? Especially now that Tommy is in the picture because I think he's such a great LI for Buck and has so much endgame potential but they're all talking about him being a "stepping stone" for their ship and completely ignoring how this is a chance for him to be in a loving, stable relationship in the long run, something he absolutely deserves.
Honestly sometimes I feel like b*ddie shippers don't even care or like Eddie and Buck, they just want them to kiss onscreen and ignore their well written arcs just because they don't end up in them being canon (which honestly after seven seasons of the same clownery they should have learnt by now that maybe it's just not happening and that's okay! they're well thought out, fully fleshed characters that don't need to be involved romantically to have a satisfying storyline!)
welcome to the fandom, and my blog 👋👋👋
it is unfortunate that the show has so many great characters and dynamics that get consistently drowned out by a single fanon ship. i get it if you're just here for b*ddie, but to make a big fuss over losing a single scene in another couple's big episode? when you still got something? sometimes you need a reality check that the show is actually about other people too
fandom is not about hunting for hints that your ship is going canon. like, i have never seen a fandom that seems to spend more time "proving" their ship is gonna go canon than actually, you know, doing fandom stuff. (i was not in spn/destiel, idk what nonsense went on there) we're supposed to ignore what the TPTB say while we play with our dolls because it doesn't matter, not ignore what they say because clearly they're lying and misdirecting and building up to do what they have have said, as explicitly as they can in tv world, won't be happening. this obsession with "going canon" is, frankly, weird in fandom.
my blood pressure goes up when i read the phrase "stepping stone". even if bucktommy doesn't last, they will never have been a stepping stone. one, because it is a relationship, and relationships can't be stepping stones, that is such a cynical way to look at things and really makes me wonder about some of these people's real life relationships (yeah i know it's fiction, but y'all take it too far in your vitriol for it not to be invading your personal lives) and two, because b*ddie is not happening, so it can't be a stepping stone to it.
they have done everything they can except saying "b*ddie isn't happening" because in tvland ambiguity is your best friend. but ryan calling eddie heterosexual twice is not ambiguous. and i've already said, but ignoring what ryan has said about the coming out scene because it doesn't fit your headcanon is extremely disrespectful. it is fiction, but it is fiction made by people drawing from real life experiences and y'all are shitting on that
and tommy does have such potential!! they like to shit on us for saying that, "oh he's only been there for 4 eps, we don't even know anything about him", and, ignoring that we actually do know some stuff about tommy, more than we've gotten for other LI's, that's why we say potential. we are looking at possible future storylines and seeing how tommy could fit. we are looking at what was lacking in prev LI's (not in a deficient way, just in a compatibility way) and seeing how tommy can fill the spaces they couldn't.
we're basing our theories of him at least sticking around for a bit, not on wardrobe hints and coded gazes and what actors post on their socials, but by what we've seen on-screen, what has been said in interviews in black&white no hidden meaning, and by simple knowledge of story pacing.
and we could be completely wrong. that's part of it being a theory; the acknowledgement that it is not guaranteed . once you start insisting something is 100% going to happen, it's no longer a theory
wow this got long 🫣 sorry for making you read all that, if you're still here lmao. but conciseness is not my strong suit, so enjoy my babbling if you stick around, and feel free to drop in my inbox anytime
#cleo gets mail#anonymous#911#911 critical#bucktommy#anti buddie#i didn't realize i had written that much until i scrolled up lmao#but as you can see#i've got a lot of thoughts
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Thank the heavens I found your blog! after getting into the wind breaker anime and currently reading manga. I am starved for wind breaker reader content until I found you. If possible can I request hayato suo relationship/boyfriend headcannons? Oh it would make my day and all the suo lovers days as well
Thank you.
—For some reason, Suo has been hot on my requests on Tumblr へ[ ᴼ ▃ ᴼ ]_/¯ !!
Hayato Suo as your boyfriend (DRABBLE)
In the past, Hayato was able to score very well with many girls that were his age and some even above his age that managed to fall for him. But, he has never dated anyone. However, he doesn’t see himself as inexperienced.
From the get-go, he’s learned how to act right which probably resulted in him getting many girls to like him. Even so, under his nice exterior, he’s an extremely hard person that falls in love. The only reason why you were able to date him out of all of the people he has rejected, was because you’ve known him the longest.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you for who you are—if anything, his infatuated with your personality and the way you look up at him with those damning eyes (although sometimes, he questions some of things you say and wonders if they should be studied or not). Before he knew it, he started to fall for you without even knowing.
It was easy when you first started dating him, he still treats you like how he always has but soon grew more intimate and touchier with you. Before in the past you two were strictly friends. Even though the both of you have been going to each other’s houses for the longest time, neither of you had made a move until the moment you started dating. He didn’t start touching you back then out of respect and not wanting to make things weird, so when the both of you held hands for the first time, you caught a glimpse of his ears going red which was something you’ve never seen before.
He continued speaking to you in the same chaotic manner you’ve always known, while from time to time sneaking in little compliments and caressing the flesh of your skin with the most subtle touches.
In the morning and nights, he used to text you when he’s going to bed and telling you goodnight before sleeping. That changed when you two switched to calling more often. Aside from the beginning of the relationship, you two got close fairly quick—after all, you’ve known each other since forever.
Quickly, he’s not shy when holding your hand and communicating with you about any problems that occur in your relationship. He ends up solving them in a few hours or a day, he doesn’t like dragging the situation on and will force you to speak out even if you struggle with communicating. If you’re the type of person that gives the cold shoulder, he will not let you do so and won’t stop bothering you until you give a proper answer.
Honestly it’s amazing he’s able to put up with your petty behaviour. Nirei had witnessed it first hand when the Suo had gotten a call from you and watched the two of you argue through the phone. He stepped away for a few minutes before returning back to the blonde-haired boy with the same smile that lets him know everything is okay.
Because of how unhinged he is, typically speaking—he’s the first one to make nearly all of the moves. He was the one that stole your first kiss. That day was surreal to you. The way he took you out skating for the first time and held hands on the rink, then going on to bringing you to dinner and finally ending the day off with a sweet, warm kiss that engulfed your mind when he kissed you in the dead of night underneath a streetlight lamp as the snow fell down within every second he kept his lips on yours.
Soon after, many of your dates were usually spending time outside together. He’s not much of an indoor person and likes to walk to different places with you all over town. The only time he will do an indoor date is if the weather is bad or one of you got sick.
Even with how nice Suo can portray himself as, somethings he does have is a little risky side of him that loves to tease you. It’s a secret though, he loves to make a fool out of the people he fights and watch them crumble, so it’s no wonder why he loves it when you’re all shy around him. Moments like this, when he’s needy and just generally carving his girlfriend, he likes to go into your personal space, place you on his lap if you’re watching a show with him, plaster open mouthed kisses on your neck and shoulders all while acting oblivious as to why you’re red.
Whenever he sees something in public that reminds him of you, he buys it immediately and gives it to you the next time he sees you again. The first time he did this it was a keychain of your favourite food then it slowly turned into random stickers, pencils, clothing wear, and jewelry. He likes to spoil you without even knowing himself. You have to remind him that he paid last time when you went out to eat meaning it’s your turn to return the favour. But even so, he tells you to put your cash away and let him pay again.
Once dating you for long enough, he never grows tired of your diabolical personality and is glad you put with his chaotic behaviour.
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I mean this the nicest way possible but have you considered the fact that you just .. hate RPF? Wich is fine, like you said it's a gray area. It's not everyone's cup of tea, actually! It's not even mine because I actually came across those trailers you said! And I instantly went "ew wtf" and I clicked not interested, and then I another showed up, and clicked not interested, and then the algorithm went ok got it, and it's been a while thankfully, that hasn't showed up. So, what I mean is, there is content in the internet that is weird, that's for sure, but there's like... Ways to avoid it? And the way that this has been a persistent subject in your blog in such a deep way makes me think that you suffer it more than anyone, wich is fine but just, don't look at it anymore? I don't know what to say honestly because, again no to be rude but youre making the MOST out of it. And it's like you're treating fandom culture like this deep dark secret when its as public as it can be and I promise you the most a person can do is feel weirded out and mute that content, and hope it doesn't show up.! But for example, I hate povs content, and that has to be the most persistent content I've seen so far on F1, full of "you're the wife/girl/sister" blah blah and I'm a lesbian, I've clicked not interested so many times I lost count and IT KEPT showing up (until i figured muting y/n, driver x reader helps) so if it keeps you more calm there are ways to avoid content you dont like!
I get where you’re going with this but also, nah. I’ve always loved RPF and will keep consuming it whenever I can. I just make a big stink out of seeing it outside of tumblr and ao3 because of algorithms and the way I was taught to interact with RPF about fifteen years ago in which….these things have to stay within their intended circles at all costs. This is back when fandom content was not cool and mainstream and unless you kept your fandom life and your actual life very separate you get bullied to hell for it. Now, I often feel like the pendulum has swung a little too far the other way and there’s such a massive influx of new people because fandom culture is trendy that fandom etiquette is starting to collapse. The treatment of RPF being one of them.
RPF differs from POV content in two ways. The first is that POV content is a little more accepted than RPF in the general consciousness, usually because it’s het but also because it’s very obvious this is a self insert fantasy which while I imagine is awkward for drivers to see, can be easily laughed off as being so obviously just a fantasy. RPF on the other hand builds off of pre-existing relationships and lore and is usually slash, which already introduces an awkward element (and you can say the men shouldn’t have toxic masculinity all you like, it’s not just them that’s the issue it’s everyone who perceives them and the content), also it’s more difficult because people DO talk about these pairings platonically. In order to not experience Lestappen on my tiktok FYP, I can’t interact with any video that mentions those two in the same breath ever because the algorithm will eventually push me ship content even if I don’t want to see it and I click not interested. This happens over and over again.
I love RPF which am just on super high alert about RPF safe spaces being breached because I know from lived experience that it doesn’t bode well. This is also just personally not the way I was taught to interact with fandom, and again I’ve seen enough shit in my time to understand why that etiquette had to be enforced.
#anon#asks#keep RPF on tumblr discourse#there’s generally a breakdown of fandom etiquette and RPF popping up everywhere is a symptom of that I could talk for hours but
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Love Begins From a Mean Lie: Victor
Collection Event Story
Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere. What I obtain is what will be translated.
Translation notes are marked with ***
Dividers: @/natimiles
It was one day when I went to submit a report to Victor........
Victor: This is a grave situation!
Victor looked through the documents and let out a curt voice.
Kate: Huh, is there something wrong...?
Victor: No Kate, your work is perfect as usual! It’s just……
Victor: WILIAROGJUDROGALELHARIWILJUDELL!
(Uh, is that some kind of spell…?)
Victor: ....This is the order of the cursed people you wrote in your most recent report.
Victor: Do you notice anything?
Kate: Notice?
Victor: I’m not in it!
Kate: Ah, that's true.
Victor often has a busy schedule as the Queen's aide…….
He can't put in as many Crown assignments as the others.
Besides, I had not written a report on Victor recently, as I was accompanying the others on missions.
Victor: ……. Actually, Her Majesty the Queen told me that she didn't have enough information about me.
Victor: So, Kate! Will you write about me with your own hand?
Kate: I'll leave it to me, that's what I do!
Kate: But ..... Is there any mission that you can participate in from now on, Victor?
Victor: That's the thing. Crown assignments are allocated based on everyone's abilities.
Victor: Adding me after the fact would please everyone, but I can't deny that it will detract from the mission.
Victor: Besides, even though Her Majesty the Queen wants the information, the Queen's aide's job is not going away.
Kate: As usual, you've been busy……
Victor: …..Yes! How about you interview me?
Victor: I'm sure Her Majesty will be pleased if you put it all together and give it to her.
Kate: An interview....... Okay, I will! I look forward to working with you.
…….Thus began the interview to write down Victor's information.
Victor: My name is Victor. I am a the Queen's aide and a member of the Crown!
Victor: Height 183.5cm! Birthday is February 20th!
Victor: If you deliver any presents to Crown Castle, I'll be grateful for them!
Victor: Charming points? There are many, but if I had to choose just one, it would be the mole on my mouth.
Victor: This is also one of the "Seven Wonders of Vic," where if you press it, the left and right sides will be switched the next day!
Victor: I’m a cheerful person, who loves everyone at Crown and is loved by everyone at Crown. (👀??? That last bit is news to me.)
Victor: ……Come to think of it, we were talking about how Crown doesn't have a mascot.
Victor: I guess you could say I'm the mascot!
Victor began speaking without pause, and I took notes earnestly so as not to miss a single word.
(…..Hmmm. There's a lot of subjectivity in Victor's work, so we'll have to separate that properly.)
(Any other questions…….)
Kate: Victor……when do you usually sleep? I feel like you’re always awake.….
On sleepless nights, I wander into the kitchen and find Victor busy making sweets.
Early in the morning, I woke up for some reason and was taking a walk in the garden, and I saw Victor watering the flowers……
Victor was always there when I noticed it, so I wondered when he slept…..
Victor: I'm just like everyone else. Sleep at night and get up in the morning! That's the secret to good health!
Kate: That’s right. When we met in the morning, you didn’t even have bedhead, so I thought you weren’t sleeping.
Victor: No way! I'm a normal human being. I need my sleep.
Victor: I have naturally good hair, but I don't miss taking care of it every night, so it's hard for me to have bedhead.
Victor: But, it’s not like I don’t sleep at all alright? If you don’t mind, why don’t you come wake me up?
Kate: Eh…..
Victor: If I could see your face when I woke up,…….I would be so happy that day.
Kate: …..Ah, I’ll think about it.
Victor: Hehe, you’re always welcome!
Watching someone wake up makes me feel like I'm trespassing on their private life, which makes me feel a bit uneasy…..
(The only people who are allowed to see that kind of thing are the people who are really close to you.)
(….. I wonder if even the always energetic Victor is a bit languid when he wakes up from sleep.)
Even though I refused, I couldn't help but imagine Victor waking up.
(....should not. I need to concentrate on the interview! Next question is....)
Kate: Recently, have you done anything bad Victor?
Victor: Hehe...there's always evil in Crown! Good question.
Victor: Bad things…….I guess so. I lied to an innocent child for my own personal greed.
Victor: As an apology, I'm going to prepare a delicious royal cake for the child! That’s usual news.
Kate: Victor is preparing a cake to apologize! That’s new.
Victor: Of course, it depends on the degree of lying....... By the way Kate, what kind of cake do you like?
Kate: I’m torn...... I like anything with chocolate, and strawberry shortcake too....
Kate: Oh, and items made with seasonal fruits are also hard to give up.
Kate: .... But I'm not being lied to by you now Victor, am I?
Victor: …..Do you believe so? Maybe without you even realizing it, I could be telling a terrible lie.
Kate: Then let's go to a cake shop together.
Kate: I have a lot of questions and choices to make, so please bear with me.
Victor: Hehe……You're so cute and confused, I might just buy the whole store.
(Victor would really buy everything …..)
Victor: Now, what's the next question?
Kate: Next, yes….
Kate: Victor is full of himself and cheerful……
Kate: You don’t seem to have anything to be afraid of, but is there anything?
Victor: Afraid of…..huh.
Victor: ……Everyone at Crown.
Kate: Oh, maybe that’s why you’re “afraid of cake”? ***
Victor: "Afraid of cake"?
Kate: By telling people that you’re scared of what you like……
Kate: It's an oriental story where….. you can get what you like from someone who scared you.
Kate: Victor, I think you intentionally said you were scared because you love everyone in the Crown.
Victor: Hehe, that’s an interesting story.
Victor: It's true that I cherish and love everyone at Crown……but what I just said is true.
Victor: If the Crown follows its path to the end and conquers evil with evil…..
Victor: ……Someday I will be judged by them.
Kate: What…..?
Victor: …..I think there is such a possibility.
I didn't think Victor had any crimes that would warrant being judged by the Crown…..
I don't know everything about him, so I couldn't deny it.
Kate: Because you're afraid of being judged... Are you afraid of Crown?
(Like God announcing death, the Crown announces destruction to evil.)
(Victor may also fear Crown as a symbol of his own destruction.…)
Victor: ….It’s a little different.
Victor: If I'm guilty, I think I deserve to be judged. There’s no fear there.
Victor: Just…
Victor: I'm so happy now that I'm spending time with everyone...I'm sad and scared that it will end someday.
(Victor isn't afraid of being punished...he's sad that his days are coming to an end.)
(In that case….)
Kate: …. I don't know what crime you’re guilty of Victor.
Kate: That sin, if it can be atoned for in some way….I don’t know.
Victor: ….Yeah.
Kate: But ……I, too, want these days to continue!
Kate: So if I can help, please give me a shout.
Kate: I will always help you Victor, just as you always do!
Before I knew it, I told Victor that I wanted to help him, and he smiled kindly at me.
Victor: …..Thank you, Kate.
-Then I asked many other questions and finished the interview with Victor.
Kate: Hmmm ........ I wrote a lot, but….
Kate: Does Her Majesty the Queen really want this information .....?
There are some parts where Victor's way of thinking and personality are well written.
Even if Her Majesty the Queen were to read it, it would contain information that would be neither harmful nor helpful.
Victor: Of course, I’m very happy! I'll be sure to give it to Her Majesty the Queen later!
Victor's jewel-like eyes sparkled as he picked up my report and smiled.
Victor: ……Thank you for writing about me, Kate.
When I returned to Crown Castle after the interview, I met William.
In the color of the setting sun shining into the hall, his red eyes that never lose their edge find me, and they flicker happily.
William: …. It seems it took quite a while to submit the report today.
William: Did you have afternoon tea with Victor?
Kate: No, it seems that Her Majesty the Queen actually wanted information about Victor…..
Kate: I interviewed Victor and compiled it into a report.
William: Hmm? …..that’s an odd story.
Kate: What…?
William: Her Majesty the Queen knows Victor better than anyone. She wouldn’t say she doesn’t have enough information.
Kate: What…? Does that mean Victor lied? Why?
William: Regarding Victor's lie this time...Is there anything that concerns you?
Kate: Concerned about…..
FLASHBACK
Victor: ….. Thank you for writing about me, Kate.
What left a particularly strong impression on me was the happy look on Victor's face when he saw my report after the interview.
FLASHBACK ENDS
(Could it be….)
Kate: Victor lied…..
Kate: …..Because he wanted me to write about himself?
William didn't confirm or deny my guess, and smiled leisurely.
William: …..Our work must not be known to others.
William: Only those who walk under the light are etched into Britain's glorious history.
William: There's no need to complain about it. But….
William: Sometimes you may wish to carve it with your own hands and leave it behind.
William: -As Britain flourishes and shines brightly, there is a dark shadow that falls over it.
(Victor wants me to write it down…..?)
(….If so, he’d be happy.)
As a fairytale keeper, I can record Victor's steps and make him happy.
Thinking like that, I became even more motivated.
(Besides, I would like to continue to write about it.)
(…If I do that, I'm sure I'll be able to get closer to Victor.)
***Just a note about the "afraid of cake" scene and being linked to a story or tale in the East. I couldn't find anything myself and I'm 100% sure I translated this scene inaccurately. So, take it with a grain of salt.
[Master Lists]
#Ikevil#ikevil translations#cybird translations#ikevil jp#ikemen villains translations#Ikevil victor#ikemen victor#ikemen villains victor
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Hello -
As a person with DID who has successfully fused alters/parts, do you have any information, resources, or advice for systems hoping to do the same?
My system is hoping to reach a point where we can act and function as one, but it’s been horrible trying to find resources on fusion. Nearly every article about fusion we could find places this second to functional multiplicity and seems to confuse fusion and integration. Or worse, claims that fusion is a way to kill alters!
Our therapist has been immensely helpful, but we find ourselves wanting to read more about this process or hear from others who have successfully managed a fusion. Any help would be greatly appreciated - thank you!
Hi, anon. I'm so sorry that you've been struggling to find resources on your desired recovery. I went through that struggle too, it's hard. I'm glad you have a therapist to help you out through all of this.
If you want, I've talked about my own experience with final fusion on this blog and I'm always open to talking about it more if there's anything in particular you want to hear about!
Definitely seek out other systems who have experience with partial/full fusion, too. Off the top of my head, there's @system-of-a-feather, @reimeichan, @hiiragi7, and @smokee78 (hope it's okay to tag you guys!). They haven't been active recently, but back when I was working towards final fusion, @puppydeathfarts made posts that I found really helpful. If there's anyone else who has experience with partial/full fusion, though, please leave a comment!
I also recommend checking out Rachel Downing's experience with final fusion/full integration and Jess's from Multiplicity & Me:
youtube
Their experiences helped me feel less alone when I was pursuing final fusion. There was also another person, but unfortunately they left the community due to harassment and deleted their posts. I will forever for grateful to all of them for being brave enough to share this vulnerable and personal part of their lives, they've certainly given me the strength to share my own.
As for articles, unfortunately I don't know of too many that don't stigmatize final fusion. DID-research offers a good summary of final fusion and a few interesting links to check out here.
You can find a bunch of free downloads for self-help books here. Out of all of them, I feel like Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation is a great self-help book for people who are a being supported by a therapist and interested in pursuing harmony and stronger integration within their dissociative system. I don't think it would've been possible for me to achieve final fusion or even functional multiplicity without the techniques I learned from this book. I cannot emphasize how useful it is!
Some extra things from me:
You have to work with your parts, first. You can't skip ahead to fusion. Aim to pave for understanding, acceptance, and harmony within your system. Fusion, if you want it, is the natural progression to that!
There are ways to test out fusion. Talk to your therapist about "blending" (it's also described in the coping book, but definitely mention it to your therapist). You can test out what it's like to be fused as many times as you want.
Fusion can feel weird at first. It shouldn't feel bad, but it can be strange. It took me time to get used to it. It can also feel differently depending on what stage of recovery you're in... ->
When I still had amnesia and less co-operation in my system, fusions slid under the radar and surprised the hell out of me! As I continued lowering those dissociative barriers, developing better communication and co-consciousness as a system, things become way clearer.
After you become fully fused for the first time, it's completely okay if you fall apart a few times before it really sticks! Final fusion is a process, not a destination.
You're allowed to choose whatever labels you want after final fusion. Call yourself a system or plural or say you've become a singlet or whatever you want. It's also okay to go unlabeled!
Your parts aren't gone after final fusion, but that separation is gone and it's okay if you need to mourn that. Sometimes I miss what it was like being fragmented. It's not because I want to be fragmented again, but because that was how I lived my entire life up until now, it was what was most natural to me, and it had its good and bad sides. I'm thankful for it because it was that separation which allowed me to survive! I view this similarly to how it was like to move recently. Sometimes I miss my old home, but that doesn't mean I want to go back or that I'm not happier where I am now. Things can be complicated like that!
After final fusion, you continue to learn new things about yourself and your system. It's a new journey in of itself -- a very, very wonderful one. 💚
I hope you find something helpful here. Either way, know that you are not alone on this journey. I support you whole-heartedly. Good luck with everything!
- Sunflower
#actuallydid#DIDrecovery#DID recovery#final fusion#integration#sunflower answers#personal experiences#apologies for how long it took to answer this ask
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Okay, so ever since the pics of Bella and Isabela on a horse came out, I've been receiving some hateful asks about the actresses (rude comments about their appearance, acting skills, etc.) and the show itself too. I won't be answering those.
I am not here to hate or demean. I never said I hated the show, Bella, or any other actor. I never said that Bella looks ugly or is a bad actress either. I never said anything hateful about anything related to HBO Tlou.
What I've recently stated was that (from the pictures we've seen) the actresses seemed to look too young in comparison to the original characters. There was nothing hateful about it. It was just thinking out loud because every game fan wants the show to stay true to the original in every aspect that can be implemented. That's understandable, right? It doesn't mean that when some of us point out something, we're being hateful.
For example, we all know nobody can make the actresses taller, so only a dummy would complain about that. But at the same time, we all know that there are make-up artists that can make them look older, so why not do so to stay in tune with the original? That was literally everything I meant, and I don't think it was a bad thing to vent about.
I guess a lot of people confuse straightforward opinions and honest insights with hate or rudeness.
No one said that Bella or Isabela looking young was their fault (people be throwing arguments about how they are adults in real life too), of course they are; nobody's blaming the actors for looking young. We are blaming the creators if the final result will give people a reason to shame the show for a lack of realism due to this matter. Keep in mind that not everyone watching the show will be aware of Bella or Isabela's real age. What we want is to prevent the haters from hating on the show even more after they watch two young-looking girls making out, slaying everyone throughout Seattle and then settling down on a farm with a kid. Because remember my words—if we really have Ellie and Dina looking too young and adorable in the final result, it's going to be a feast for the assholes that have wanted to shit on the show since day one.
Anyway, I shouldn't be even justifying myself, but since I'm already typing this… I've always appreciated the show, even though there were many aspects that made me highly disappointed (I said it so many times in my past posts). The game lovers all know what these aspects are, and I think we can all agree.
One of the reasons I always liked the show though, was the cast. I fucking love Pedro for Joel. Bella wasn't at all a bad choice either (sure, people will still bitch about their appearance, but for me, it's the way a person performs, not the looks). Bella is a great actress, and they've dealt with what they've been given with grace. Also, I admire Bella and Pedro's dynamic and bond behind the cameras. This is a huge plus for the relationships they should have as Ellie and Joel, just like Ashley and Troy back then.
So no, I won't hate. I know a lot of you would enjoy me trashing the show, but I am not going to do it because I don't feel it. I may have opinions that are considered negative for the hyped HBO fans (even though I perceive them more as a form of venting to the game fans), but I mean no harm with those. After all, they are just opinions, and people don't have to agree with them and can move on.
I will still be answering asks about the show, even if you send opinions that are not at all positive. I will still comment on them, or just post them so you can be "heard." But I won't share those that I consider unnecessarily rude. I'm not going to participate in this kind of blogging.
After all, I'm 99% of the game blogger anyway :)
#i've spoken#the last of us#tlou#ellie williams#dina nolastname#bella ramsey#isabela merced#the last of us hbo#tlou hbo#joel miller#the last of us part 2#the last of us season 2
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support needs and sex
having trouble with words recently. during this, I don't post much. have autism, have talked about it here before, but only small things.
but lots of frustration recently about representing. how people with low support needs have louder voices. people with cute, quirky autism get represented more because neurotypicals don't feel as uncomf. still they have their struggles but you know. middle to high support needs are uncomf. have to hide, have to be quiet. people with low support needs, also sometimes think *their* autism is *all* autism. don't want to talk about mid/high supports people, or be associated.
but, speech loss bad enough that I don't want to go into it today. stick to what is doable.
autistic people have sex. autistic people do kink. lot of positivity here about this. i've seen it. you've seen it. you've seen me also do it.
but autism in sex, not just:
cute stimming because sex feels good
sensory overload, in a good way
hard to speak because of good feelings
person getting flustered/shy/nervous
not only cute. not only shy. not only because of good feelings.
autism can be ugly, scary, difficult, bad communicating, hard to know how to support, getting in the way.
for me:
speech loss; not cute speech loss because of good feelings, speech loss because life is exhausting; exhausted, don't want to have sex
handling rejection poorly. have to use a lot of energy to keep from being a bad partner because of overreacting
sensory overload because good, but i dissociate because sensory overload
use sex to escape bad feelings, not in a healthy coping way
can't explain why i react poorly. in most circumstances. but also happens around sex
frustration because i can't think how to explain
meltdown because so frustrated
cycle repeats
have trouble understanding un-firm versions of "no" (have to work hard to communicate with partner, and i do, but hard work af)
have trouble understanding "maybe"
have trouble predicting how i "will/would" feel
thus frustration. meltdown. cycle resumes
or, know what i want; don't know how to explain
AND YET: i am not:
too dysfunctional for sex/relationship
"basically a child"/too immature
unsafe person
too fucked up for marriage
bad person for dating
someone who should avoid sex until burnout ends
...because i am adult. my partner is an adult. we talk about things. we know good expectations. i don't lie about can/can't do things. they don't lie about can/can't do things.
sex is only one slice of this. this blog is about sex, so i post it here. but these issues are big in my life. need support in school, in work; i seem so functional to a stranger, but only because support needs are met.
support needs met = big privilege. i acknowledge this. not so easy for many people, who seem less functional to others, only because support needs not met.
anyway. conclusion:
neurotypicals/non-autistics: don't expect sex + relationships with autistics to be like sexy imagine posts on tumblr. can be sometimes, but often not.
autistics, even: don't expect sex + relationships with other autistics to be like sex + relationships for you.
low support needs autistics: you guys have a problem. (maybe technically i am you guys, don't really know, so maybe *we* have a problem.) some of you don't like when autism represented as mid-high support. don't like to think you're like us. not cool. either way stop speaking like *your* autism is *all* autism. if you have energy + time + emotional resource to do so, tell off other low support needs when they act like this.
high/mid support needs: i see you. you belong. you deserve healthy, good sex if you are adult. support needs =/= being unworthy/not well enough/not functional enough for relationship. possible to have relationships that work for you, allow for the kind of support you need, from other person/medical team/support system. don't mask to get through relationship. hurts you, you should be loved for who you are.
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𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖊𝖓 𝕾𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖊
𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: If this is not acceptable under the “Space Mairne Husbandry sentience” tag. I will delete this story and make something new with it that doesn’t involve such acts of lechery, or I can put them into the WH40k verse. Seeing as it’s a rather… gruesome world.
𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.
𝕬𝖈𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜𝖑𝖊𝖉𝖌𝖊: I do NOT condone these actions. The process of these actions or the after effects of these actions. Read these types of story’s advisedly.
TW // SMUT/NSFW, Noncon, Biting/Marking, Cervix, Mating Press, Overstimulation, Body Horror, Death, Yandere Themes, Jumps Straight Into It.
I cry out, sobbing into the sheets. My hands gripping and twisting the silky fabric. The scent of woody amber choking me as my body bounces at his harsh thrusts. His hands on my waist pinning me in place.
“Xa’Vor! Please!” I beg at the captain in front me, attempting to stop or at least slow his brutal pace with my hand. My fingers barely skimming his scarred thigh before he growls out. Taking my hand in one of his that gripped around my waist and pinning it above me, his sweaty, scarred chest pressing up against my breasts.
“No pleas will save you from your foolishness.” Xa’Vor snarls into my ear. The hairs on the back of my neck unwillingly picking up at his dark tone. His fingers threading through my own above me. Keeping me pinned in both places.
“I-I had to!” I whined, trying to reason my own “foolishness.” Whimpering out when he snarls again and pistons back through my burning walls. My jaw clenching at the overwhelming pleasure and pain that he gives me. “I-can’t be bonded t-to you!”
He snarls again, giving me a hard thrust up against my cervix while I cry out. My back arching into his chest. My body shaking with tears running down my cheeks as I whimper at his tone. “You are in no position to spill such ill judgement. I am your bonded. Don’t reject that from me.”
My eyebrows scrunch up in pain and pleasure. One of my hands clawing at Xa’vors hand that pinned it down. No doubt creating some pressure marks into his calloused fingers while my other hands grips and pulls at his bed sheets. My moans and whimpers of pain being suffocated by his own mouth.
I haven’t meant to find these… legionnaires on my way to complete a mission. It was never the goal, the intention. It was never to have happened. To be bonded to an Astartes. It was a very strict rule.
‘Never have a bond.’
That was one of the many rules of the foundation. Said it was to even the “playing field” of war and operations and it was correct. There wasn’t a time were there was an Astartes in the way, cutting us down like “grates of cheese” the commander had put it. It made it much easier to get our tasks done without the influence of a Space Marine, Chaos or Loyalist.
‘If you find yourself with a Space Marine that wants to be close, leave them. Break that bond. Even if it’s not a bond, you are not to be around any Astartes.’
I remember what our instructor would say. Permitting us to never even look at a Space Marine unless suspicious of them of having a bond with us. That was the only time we were permitted to look in the direction of a Space Marine. Other times we were just training with one another or simply being tasked with going out and surveying the area and people.
We were not to look back either, but it was incredibly hard to do so with a whole warband you, 5 to be more precise.
No one knew where they had come from then. Possibly too focused on getting the mission done quickly. Their black, armored body’s launching out of the thick fog like some sort of phantom. Their talon-like gauntlets extending out as they roared out. Spooking the rest of the group when they turned to looked at their fellow soldier that was once alive. Their body being impaled onto the metal talons of the Space Marine, making us realize why they didn’t want us to be bonded to one.
Their power is unfair.
I saw the group being slaughtered that day with unnatural ease. Their limbs splayed all around me, still fresh off the torso. Some even being ripped into half by the waist and ribs, guts still pumping near the body or up in a dead tree. It was an experience I did not wish I was in, even for an enemy. It was like stalking through a horror forest; still does. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint where they would come from, but they certainly can. That part was very clear.
You look away for one second and suddenly the person protecting your back is gone. Their gasping screams being the only thing you can hear out in the distance before their body would plop right in front of you. The face of deathly fear stoned onto all their features. Their limbs somewhere else as they would bleed out from where the limb was ripped from, despite being already dead.
‘If you find yourself trapped; cornered. Sacrifice is your only way out. Do not attempt to talk. Explode yourself. Leave no meat left to provide of yourself.’
I remember another saying from the instructor. My hand quickly digging through my vest for the grenade while I took very quick, but cautious steps around me. My eyes looking all around me for anything that didn't seem normal in this damned forest. My heart beating in my chest as the same sentence replayed in my mind.
'Explode yourself.'
'Explode yourself.'
'Explode yourself.'
'Sacrifice is your only way out.'
'Leave no meat left to provide.'
My gaze focuses on the big shadow emerging from the fog with a low growl. My hand gripping onto the grenade in my vest and pulling it out, fingers threating it to pull the pin when the rest of the group decides to show themselves, surrounding me with their own warning growls. Their talons twitching in anticipation.
Keeping a close eye on them. I watched as they circled me, making me really feel like I was being hunted and played with. My fingers itching to just pull the pin, but I wasn't going to unless I could take at least one down with me or maybe they can leave me alone and let me continue my mission.
The smaller one suddenly shoots forward, my fingers instantly pulling the pin, taking a step back. My body falling back in effort to keep the grenade close to my body when the Space Marine pins me down to the ground and snatches the grenade and throws the grenade off somewhere else.
I give my own growls and snarls at the Space Marine while he has me down. Sudden dread being washed onto my shoulders. My hands struggling to get anything through his black armor, cutting them on the sharp edges of his armor as the grenade explodes somewhere off in the distance. My desperation to get out of his hold growing.
“Your thoughts are elsewhere. Bring them back to me.” Xa’vor growls. Moving his hand from my waist to thread and grip at my hair, pulling my head back, exposing my neck to him.
“I’ll r-reject you as I please.” I growl out between my pitiful moans. Pissed from the memory of my team being killed around me. Pissed that I couldn’t escape their grasp once more. Having to be pinned underneath their bodies like a whore.
“You’re boldness is—”
“Reasonable, you think I could care for you?” I snap, my eyes looking down into his own and seeing the hurt in his deep red eyes, his hips stilling. “I do not care. I am simply to complete a mission, that is all. I’m not here to care, to provide, to love.”
“I’ll never be bonded to you or the others. Not you, not Atherth, not Vai’ssir, Zervos or Xekon—!”
I suddenly choke on my own breath, my head being pulling back to its limit. His teeth dangerously latched very close to the soft part of my neck, drawing blood as his cock pushes up painfully up against my cervix before dragging all the way back out and all the way in again. His arms wrapping around my body tightly, trapping me to him, putting me in a type of mating press. His hand still holding my hair in place.
Breathless moans leave my mouth as his pace is absolutely brutal, hitting up against my cervix every time. Numbing my legs with each deep, quick thrust. Savage growls hissing through his teeth as he inches them more into my skin. Feeling like daggers were being stabbed all over my body. I couldn’t tell if I should breathe or scream out at such brutality.
I couldn’t even tell when his stilled inside of me. All my nerves too focused on the pain sprouting all over my body like fire. I could only hear as he groans and growls. His hips rolling out his climax as far as he could. His seed marking my fluttering walls and dripping down his cock and balls, onto the bed sheets.
“That’s is not your choice to make.” Xa’vor quietly rumbles, carefully taking his teeth out of my shoulder as I twitch at the feeling. His tongue lapping up all the blood he has smeared across my chest and his sheets. “No matter how long you refuse our bond.”
“You are still ours. I will make sure of that.” He states; promises. Slowly dragging his cock out of my walls with a groan and a whisper in his language.
“X-Xa’Vor.” I whine at him in pain at the movement of anything. Body prickling in overstimulation as he purrs at me, trying to put me at ease. His head gently nuzzling into my neck.
“No matter what it will cost me.”
#warhammer 40k#space marine husbandry sentience#fanfiction#x reader#reader insert#space marine#space marine x reader#adeptus astartes#adeptus astartes x reader#black legion#oc: xa’vor#oc: atherth#oc: vai'ssir#oc: zervos#oc: xekon#tw: noncon#tw: overstimulation#tw: body horror#tw: death#tw: yandere#cult? sounds like it.#territorial? extremely.#it gonna cost you a few therapy sessions boi
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I don't understand people who come to your blog and tell you to get a job and stop making art based on a show for kids. Like, what's wrong with them? 💀 People can't have a job/study a career and having passions at the same time?
It's so easy to ignore and keep scrolling down...
How unhappy somebody has to be with their life to bother others on the internet? How miserable somebody has to be to invade someone's safe place on the internet and send them hate and calling them cringe?
The way these kind of people behave makes me think they are just envious by seeing a person making art or content related to their favorite things in the world...
Btw I really admire you as an artist! Your art is so beautiful. I love the style, the colors, the symbolisms, the lore and the little details you add to make it unique!!! Please, keep going. You are a big inspiration for many in the TTTE fandom💚🚂
thank you for the kind words, val! I dunno what's with their mindset -- people make gijinkas of kids medias like mlp and sonic and cars all the time, but when it's ttte, it's suddenly weird? I'm not angry or sad! I'm just wondering why. ttte's lore is interesting too and it's been a thing for almost 80 years. it's easy to ignore haters, in my experience. I've had many run-ins with such people in the past, and to be honest I'm no longer discouraged. they wanna play with me? I'll play too! the key is to not let them win -- they say those words casually in hopes that it'll impact you severely. get what I mean?
it's an unspoken rule in the internet that if your niche content escapes your personal circle/fandom, outsiders are bound to be caught off guard by it, spread it anywhere they want, or even call you unsavory things. especially if you have a pretty sizeable following. unfortunately, that's a risk you have to be ready to accept. you gotta defend yourself, but don't lose your cool. act like the bigger, more civil person so the other can be more at a disadvantage and look more like a fool. classic debating tactics (also it's kinda fun at this point like remember skipo123 from january)
not to mention, the amount of people that love and support me immensely outweighs those that hate me and my interests. a thousand to one, even! that would be unfair to my supporters for me to just feel down from one insensitive comment, no? let's all hold hands and have fun! let's unlearn shame together :]
#asks#verypsbfan019#love your art too val!!!! keep doing what you're doing#so glad to hear that I'm an inspiration to you HEHEHEH.....
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iirc in the blog (havent read in a while) error was ok with hand holding for a brief time with permission? but like even that was super brief and its weird when people just ignore that. its also dumb because there are so many qays to show affection towards someone that arent physical touch and people could get creative with it if they tried like cmon have him link fingers to strings so he can tug if he wants but not actually touch anyone or have him just spend quality time watchinf shows withour touch
i ammm. aware of that. but i just see WAY too many drawingz and art of the other character fucking SMOTHERING him.
#killz answerz#hi jsyk im not a dumbass#utmv is my special interest#im gonna know that#but thankz#i guess
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I was so impressed with your toe-to-toe comment on the French philosophy anon. So happy to have found you, omg! I heard Taylor called her ttpd set as the "female rage musical." I take it she knows the impact of the song Labour by Paris Paloma which has been dubbed as the female rage anthem. So naturally, here is the 34 year old culture vulture, can't-have-any-ideas-of-her-own that is Taylor Swift hopping there wanting to get the attention away from it when that song is quite phenomenal. One song compared to her 31 diss tracks that's nothing to me, at least, but the excessive sentimentality of an infantile woman in her 30s. It's gross the confessions she's put on that album. And even her own fans are comparing her to Olivia Rodrigo. That's she's copying everything about her - song, outfits, the "female rage" theme just to mock her. Somehow, Swift thinks it would do her a world of good. People are catching on to her antics which are absolutely disgusting, btw. I'm hoping one day you write about all these completely ridiculous gross things she's done using her own lyrics. You know what I mean? I hope someone write about her nasty lyrics and that it completely destroys her.
Thank you ha, I'm glad you found something meaningful in that post. I will not lie, that Anon actually hurt my feelings for a second (I got over it by writing my response), but I was upset at being so misunderstood. I'm not out here levying unreasonable criticism at Taylor Swift. All will be based on reality, or interpretation of her own lyrics. I’m defs out to get her though- in the most legitimate way possible- and maybe someday I will publish for real on her. I have a couple of criticisms that I will not be putting on my blog- because I want to say it on a bigger platform. : )
I do see a lot of harmful things in her music that I have been resisting the urge to write about for YEARS! Even back in 2009, listening to "Love Story" I remember thinking to myself, oh this is nothing like what Shakespeare meant and it's also a weird appeal to the patriarchy through the "I talked to your Dad/ Go Pick out a white dress." It's so clear that she's just reduplicating mainstream attitudes on romantic relationships by using Christian Conservative social standards of needing the father's permission to ask the girl's hand in marriage. She obviously wanted to attract the Christian- Conservative fan- base with that song, and that's exactly what happened. Her marketing is tied to the phrases she places inside her songs in a way that is extremely calculating. She, Afterall, learned from the best at attracting mainstream, Christian, conservative fans, Toby Keith (hate that fascist, white nationalist freak). (WHoops, that was mean- oh well, he’s dead anyway). (and if he wanted me to be nice- he shouldn't have been a fascist).
It's so obvious, and I really figured everyone else was also aware of the ways in which Swift interpolates patriarchal standards in her music. I have many more examples- I could write a whole essay on it.
Apparently, everyone thought she was a feminist? Bro, she became a "feminist" if only to evade criticism and capitalize on mainstream pop-feminist trends. She's not a real feminist. Her use of “feminism” to evade critique ties directly into her other marketing strategy of telling the world “I’m so innocent and young” all the time.
Also, her co-opting of the phrase Female Rage has made me angry, exceptionally angry. I saw that she's trying to trademark the phrase. I am incensed. I will post about it soon.
I wish Swift would stop co-opting legitimate terms and pulling only the most shallow- self-centered conception of the term out to use in her mediocre music. She’s like if Pinterest was a person- and I’m tired of it.
Paris Paloma’s “Labour” is amazing, because guess what- it actually speaks about the experience of women under patriarchal standards in a way that respects the seriousness of the topic. I absolutely believe that Swift saw how viral that song went and decided she needed to cash in on that too.
And she is totally copying Olivia Rodrigo. Can you imagine being 34 and trying to act 20? I would die of embarrassment. But it's so obvious that it's getting weird.
I have much more to say on this topic- sincerely I could write a book on the conceptual point of “Female Rage” in media. I have thousands of examples, and I’ve been studying this stuff for years. I will, however, ramble on no longer. Thank you for your kind words- and I hope you enjoy my upcoming writings.
#anti taylor swift#anti swifties#anti capitalist#ex swiftie#taylor swift critical#fuck taylor swift#TTPD#paris paloma#labour#female rage#mad woman#feminism#feminist#olivia rodrigo
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Saying israel isnt related to judaism is antisemitc, brah. Bar none. Israel is the second word in our most important daily prayer and "next year in jerusalem" our annual call to action during the Zionist holoday of passover where we celebrate going HOME to ISRAEL 😱. if you keep listening to the small majority of self hating, white passing american jews on tumblr you're gonna keep being called antisemitic cause you are.
netanyahu and the right wingers suck. So do the arab colonizers whove refused peace since the un told the muslim occupiers they had to share their atolen land with native and returning diaspora jews
[re: this post]
OMG, anon is this really what you wake up for in the morning?
I want anyone reading this to note that anon had to create a strawman argument to attack me for something that I never said
It’s weak sauce, “brah”
This is how some people have to argue when they cannot actually defend their feeble, misguided, deadass wrong opinions
Show me where I ever said that “Israel isn’t related to Judaism,” and I’ll delete my blog
What I said was, “Jewish people are Jewish whether they're religious Jews who have been to a synagogue, or not. Non-religious, non-observant Jewish people are still Jewish people. Intentionally conflating ‘religious Jews’ with all Jewish people is antisemitic,” and then I said that “conflating Israel with all Jewish people is also antisemitic”
It’s all right there in the post, “brah”
And how tf are “Arab colonizers” and Muslims “occupying” a place where they’ve been living since forever? Do you think that Native Americans are also occupiers??
Please stop talking
You’re embarrassing yourself
Arab peoples are Semitic, as are Jewish people. Jon Stewart once touched upon this extremely salient point, and I haven’t forgotten about it ever since. BTW, he wasn’t on Tumblr when he said this (and neither was Seth Rogan), but EYE definitely brought it to tumblr
And I think it’s cute that you think I care what Zionists call me. Like, I haven’t ever been called antisemitic, but it wouldn’t carry much weight coming from Islamophobic, racist zealots who routinely call other Jewish people antisemites just because they disagree with them—the bulk of the students protesting at Columbia University are Jewish (many with direct ties to Israel, or descendants of Holocaust survivors), but I guess somehow their voices aren’t supposed to count, because they don’t agree with YOUR fuckery?
Pfft
Please STFU and don’t bother me again
But just for added clarity: This is not a “religious” war, this is about ethnic cleansing, illegal settlements and land grabs that Israel has been doing nonstop and continuously since 1948
In conclusion, anon you are full of shit and about to get blocked if you continue with dropping this bullshit in my inbox, because I refuse to debate every rando with a keyboard and an internet connection—maybe try Discord or find a subreddit for r/assholes?
But before I go, I’ll leave this video (the transcript is in the original post)
and a link to this post, where people who actually know what they’re talking about explain it far better than I ever could.
#anon#ask#answered#palestine#israel#weaponized antisemitism#weaponized zionism#weaponized identity politics#identity politics#idpol#anti zionism ≠ antisemitism#columbia university#student protests#campus protests
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I noticed that Aegon's fans are divided into two teams - the first one sees him as a completely heartless, almost psychopath, the other one like in this analysis.
https://www.tumblr.com/very-straight-blog/750648583572881408/it-really-tires-me-how-some-fans-try-to-make-aegon?source=share
What do you think about it and how do you see him?
Basically I've written a few things on him already; here, here and here as well as the many web weavings i have on him hihi <3
I see him as a super nuanced character; he is deeply (and I mean deeply) broken. That's why I love him, there's so much there in terms of characterization, even with the little screentime he had.
He is so desperate to be loved but destined to be hated by everyone around him (thank you tgc for this quote, lives rent-free in my mind forever)
Rhaenyra sees him as a threat (she has this fear that her father will replace her with him, someday)
Alicent deeply loves him but is too hard on him (she genuinely thinks all her sons will die if she doesn't make him king; he needs to be strong. strong for them, strong for her.
Aemond is resentful towards him. Resentful of his weakness. He has everything Aemond ever wanted. Why isn't he happy? He would be happy and grateful (he wouldn't).
Viserys wanted Baelon. He is not Baelon.
Forced to marry his sister, he never wanted this for them (in canon,,,, I'll live in my little helaegon delulu land)
He is the kicked dog of the family. He is the only one we see being physically reprimanded. It happens time and time again, this was a deliberate choice by the writers. All of Alicent's fears and grudges and love (ugly, desperate love, but still love) towards Rhaenyra are loaded onto him -> I wished we saw them interact, they are so alike :(
What does a kicked dog do? He runs back, tail between his legs. He tries so hard but somehow it doesn't work. He feels like a failure, he runs off, avoids the pain. He doesn't want to face his reality. He drinks, he indulges in anything that will make him forget
I did not ask for this. I've done everything you've asked me to, and I try so... I try so hard, but it will never be enough for you or father.
He acts out, engages in super self-destructive behaviour -> remember when the brothel madam said that Aegon doesn't go to nice places? It's like he is punishing himself.
I'll also have to speak about his assault; kind of a baffling writing choice to introduce him as a r*pist but it is in line with his characterization. He is a prince, of course he can take anything he wants, right? It was just harmless fun, right?
This behaviour doesn't stem from cruelty (like it did with Ramsay or Joffrey) it comes from the entitlement he feels. He might be the scapegoat of the family, but he is still a spoiled prince -> I actually love this about his character too. Purely good/purely victimized characters are BORING! He is interesting, there's both evil and good in him, he is so extremely complex I want to SCREAM.
I can see him going on an arc, not repent, but change. Grow into the man who can sway the people of Dragonstone to his side, grow into the role of king. Become the type of man who would rather live in pain than dull his senses with milk of the poppy. HIS ARC WILL BE INSANE!!!!!
I know a lot of fans want him to be less whiny, less pathetic, less grey… but honestly? He is perfect the way he is in the show. I genuinely love how he is written (I would've wished to see some interaction with his kiddos and Rhaenyra, that is all lmao) and I know he will be amazing in season 2.
#aegon ii targaryen#hotd meta#tom glynn carney#house of the dragon#hotd#aegon targaryen#ales.txt#tw sa mention
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Honestly fuck all of you anons who think it’s okay to go sending nasty shit to writers on this app. We write our fics and post on this app because we enjoy it and want to share our work with people, we do it for ourselves and because we love it and we don’t need people like you ruining it for us.
What others post on their blogs/include in their fics is up to them and them only, it’s not yours to decide and I get it, you might not love everything someone posts and it might not be for you, but if you dislike it that much then just keep scrolling or unfollow. Do not, go sending rude comments and nasty words to people just because you don’t like something they’ve posted.
We’re all humans for crying out loud, this app is a safe space for so many people and a lot of us use it to escape shit that’s going on in our real lives, we’re here to be delulu together and share our love for Mason and writing fics and it breaks my heart more than anything when people leave/delete accounts because some silly little anon can’t keep their mouth shut 🥺
It makes me sick to my stomach when I see people sending nasty, rude, even racist (like seriously what the fuck?!) anons to people because no one deserves that, especially not when someone’s put all of that time and effort into producing something that they love and are proud of.
If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all. It’s not that fucking difficult.
🩷🫶🏻
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