#and then i walk around in a haze until i find myself sitting in my car after an hour has passed and i have no memory of it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shadowbriar · 1 year

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Fred Weasley - Pick Up Where We Left Off

Pairing : (F/M) || Fred Weasley x Reader Word Count : 2.5k Warning : None. Let me know if I missed anything Synopsis : One last Christmas with the Weasleys, would she find her closure from his sudden withdrawal years ago? Notes : I’m trying to pull myself out of writing slump. Hope this is good enough of a comeback-ish post. Not proofread, I might edit this later. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕

Perhaps she’s read one too many romantic novels that it’s started to blur the line of reality in her life. Perhaps Hermione has told her too many tales of happy endings that it’s started to dilute her idea of realism. Perhaps she’s taken Divination class too seriously that it’s started to make her believe that the Universe holds a better, sweeter, and dreamier ending for her and him.

It was no question for her on whose palms her heart belongs. Long before Snape taught her class about Amortentia, long before Trelawney taught her about crystal-gazing, she already knew whose magnetic force her world would revolve around. One look of him after being sorted to her house and it felt like the thin haze of uncertainty in her life was lifted. She might only be a child then, but she knew that this wouldn’t be something she could walk past from.

For the first few years of her school life, everything seemed to be falling to its place. It wasn’t hard for her to grow close with him, like how bees are naturally attracted to flowers, in no time he was always just an arm’s length from her. He was always around. Always had his hands on top of her head as they walked on the corridors, always saved her a seat in the Great Hall for every meal, and would always find her first to share the mischief he’s accomplished during the day.

Yet some day in their Third year, something changed. Like someone had just pulled the rug she was standing on, snapping her to the reality that things are simply too good to be true. She has misunderstood his affection and tender gestures. Fred Gideon Weasley has never held any romantic feelings for her.

She bites her lip as the memories of their once fond friendship slowly evaporates to thin air. He slowly distant himself, for whatever reason she still couldn’t decipher. His bright beaming smile turns into a tight line before eventually gone entirely from his handsome face. His fingers no longer play with her hair and the space between them during meals seem to grow further each day until he’s found himself eventually sitting on a different spot.

“Will you come and spend Christmas with us?” Ginny asks, linking her arms as they walk to the train “It’s been a while since we see you on breaks.”

She smiles, shaking her head lightly, “Not this time, Gin.”

“Is Fred still being an arse?” The younger continues with her questions “It’s been years, surely he’s warmed up to you.”

“He sure has.” She lied, giving the red head a squeeze on the arm “We’re just not as close anymore and I think it would be awkward for us all if I were to pop out of nowhere at your family dinner.”

“Nonsense! Everyone would be delighted to see you, I can guarantee that.”

She shows an apologetic smile, still not giving in.

“It’s been years,” Ginny continues to plead “You’re graduating soon and Merlin knows when else we could spend Christmas together. You know, Charlie’s back from Romania and it wouldn’t be complete still without you there.”

“I don’t know, Gin.”

“Please? I’ll hex and petrify Fred in his room if he’s making you uncomfortable.”

She chuckles a little before letting out a sigh, “Alright.”

—-

She tidies her skirt in nervousness, standing in front of the Burrow’s door as she wonders if coming here was a mistake. One last Christmas, she thought. One last Christmas before she could move on from the long attaching chapter in her life that is Fred Weasley. One last Christmas with the Weasley before she shuts the memory away. One last Christmas to say goodbye.

With a long inhale, she hesitantly knocks on the wooden door. Her grip on her purse tightened as the person who greets her first was the one she least wished to see. He looks just as surprised to see her, a light hint of rose tainting his cheeks. Perhaps from the cold breeze of air.

“Hi.”

“Hello,” She greets back “Your family invited me for dinner.”

He blinks, seemingly at a loss of words, “Right, of course.”

“Sunshine!’ A voice called behind him, revealing Bill who’s now coming to her with large steps “Oh, it’s been decades since I last saw you!”

She giggles as he pulls her for a hug, lifting her slightly, “Hello, Bill.”

“Oh, Merlin.” He says, staring at her beamingly as he puts her down “Look at you now! You’ve grown! You’re a lady now.”

“Still far shorter than you, though.”

“Nah, your height is the perfect one. It’s cute.”

Fred clears his throat, “I think you should let a woman come inside first before flirting with her, Bill.”

“Of course!” Bill says, pulling her by the shoulder and leading her in “Come on, there’s so many things we should talk about. How’s life, Darling?”

The warm happy smile is still plastered on her face, feeling genuinely happy as Bill starts to share the bits of his life that she’s missed about. He’s always been the welcoming big brother for her, always there to embrace her with such warmth and love she would never find elsewhere. Yet with all the joy and delight of hearing Bill’s pleasant stories, she couldn’t help but to notice the annoyed scoff and the louder slam of the door as they entered the house.

Perhaps her presence really is a bother for him.

—-

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” She curses with a sigh, placing her hands to hips.

To say dinner went pleasantly would be such an understatement. Everyone welcomed her as if she was the missing jigsaw the family has been missing for years. Bill was always by her side, Charlie sharing all of his adventurous tales from Romania, and Percy who blabbered about his new position at the ministry. The shared night felt like it went by too quickly that Mrs. Weasley persisted for her to stay the night, not ready to say goodbye just yet.

Perhaps it was the blissful warmth the house has always been filled in and the waves of emotions she hasn’t felt for years that made her struggle to drift off to sleep now. That or the fact that Fred was the only silent party on the table. He was the only one who didn’t try to engage in a conversation with her, yet she could feel his eyes boring into her like a tiger prying on their prey. The not so subtle, dare she say, jealousy he shows when Bill rests his arm around her shoulder, or when Charlie played with her hair, or when Percy give her a slice of their mother’s cookings, or when George made her laugh so hard she cried, or when Ron hugged her as he opens her present, or even when Ginny stole her to gossip about her little crush on Harry at the sitting room. All the little mundane things they used to do, she couldn’t help but to wish that Fred would miss it too.

But he’s made no effort to come to her, not even a step closer. He kept his distance, a tight forced smile decorating his face whenever their eyes met. It was as if her presence was torturing him.

“Need a hand?”

“Oh, Godric!” She yelps, turning to see the angel of her nightmares standing by the stairs “I couldn’t find where the sugar’s placed.”

He nods, not saying a word as he opens the overhead cabinet and puts the sugar to the table.

“Thanks.” She muttered with a small smile “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

“No,” He says short, now leaning to the basin “I couldn’t sleep.”

She nods.

The sound of her stirring her cup of tea is now the only thing breaking the silence between them. She could feel him staring, with his hands folded in front of his chest as if he was studying her. She dares not to look up. Merlin knows just how much of a shamble she would find herself in to lock their gazes. Even after all these years of separation, she knew that he’s still the one magnetism her heart belongs to.

But minutes passed and he still hasn’t spoken a word. Her tea was getting cold, untouched for she fears the slightest change of action would make him leave. Though the tension was ripping her apart, she would gladly be stuck in this situation forever if it meant she could keep him around.

“How have you been?”

She looks up, finally gathering enough courage to see him, “You mean lately or the past few years we’ve been apart?”

“Both,” He says with a slight frown “I suppose.”

“I’m doing alright. You?”

“Could’ve been better.”

“Lately or the past few years?”

He smiles, repeating his words, “Both, I suppose.”

She looks down to her tea. This would be the very time for her to find her closure, find the answers as to why he would leave her so abruptly with no warning. Yet now that the universe has aligned them their moment, why is she now feeling scared? Why does it feel like laying on the bed of uncertainty, the one thing she’s found comfort with over the years of his absence, feels like a better course of life than to have her heart broken for whatever reason he might have?

“I know that I owe you an explanation,” He says as if he could read her mind “But I fear that it would only make you hate me.”

“What makes you think that I don’t already hate you?”

He smiles painfully, “Silly of me think that you haven’t.”

“Say we live in a world where I could never hate you,” She whispered, fingers tapping on her tea cup “Would you give me the answer?”

“In that world, yes.”

She looks up, pleading for him to continue in silence.

“In that world I would tell you everything.” He continues “I would tell you everything, give you everything. Hell, I wouldn’t even leave in the first place.”

“Say that is our world, this world. What answer would you give me?”

His gaze softens, guilt and regret seeping through them, “That I was just a boy. I was scared of what our friendship could lead us to.”

She remains quiet.

“We were so close.” He reminisced with a sad smile “There were times when I felt like I was closer to you than George, and he’s always been with me since I first took my breath in this world, yet somehow you overthrone him and it scares me.”

She nods, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not something you should feel sorry for, Love.” He chuckles bitterly “I was afraid you would somehow, in my most narcissistic mind, fall for me. I know that there would be no chance in the seven hells for that to happen, a girl like you falling for a boy like me, hell that would’ve been the most dubious wish I could hope for.”

She frowns, not following where his confession is going to.

“But I was scared that that would happen. I was scared that our friendship would grow into something more and I could never forgive myself if you were to fall for me when I haven’t sorted my feelings out.”

“I see,” She speaks, taking gulps to try and suppress the growing lump on her throat “And have you sorted your feelings now?”

“I have,” He nods, a sad smile still plastered on his face “I have for years but it was too late already.”

“Too late for what?”

“To make you mine.”

Her head now spins. She felt like her ears had lied to her, that her mind had somehow misunderstood his words, for there could be no chance in every lifetime that he would ever reciprocate her feelings. Never.

“I’m sorry that I ruined everything.” Fred says with a shaky voice as if he was trying to bottle his emotions “I’m sorry that I left you, I’m sorry for realising my feelings too late, I’m sorry for making you hate me, and I’m so fucking sorry for being jealous at everyone who gets to spend their time with you because no matter how many times I tried, I can’t stop loving you.”

And there it is. The confirmation that she wasn’t just making the words in her head. That he indeed, is confessing his heart for her.

She places her hands to her forehead, trying to stop the dizziness she’s feeling right now. Everything Fred said was all she’s been praying for but now that she’s heard it, she wasn’t sure what to say. That, and the fact that she still needs to comprehend that this wasn’t just a lovely dream her mind’s playing.

“Please say something.” Fred begs.

“Merlin, I hate you so much.” She sighs, now looking up to meet his saddened eyes “If I had my wand with me right now, you would’ve find yourself in a casket already, Fred Weasley.”

He smiles, “That doesn’t sound like a very bad way to go.”

“Oh, it is.” She nods, scoffing “Because then you wouldn’t know that I’ve been loving you too.”

His smile dropped, blinking as he heard her.

“Now you can hate yourself even more.” She says sarcastically.

“You’re-” He stammers, now standing up rigidly “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

“I’m as serious as you are.” She answers, standing from her seat too “So tell me, Fred, am I being serious?”

Fred was at a loss of words. He stares at her with a conflicted look, like desire and restraint was fighting to take over his body. He hesitantly takes a step closer to her and when she doesn't flinch, he closes the gap between them, now standing in front of her with his hands resting on either of her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.”

She squints her eyes, confused, “What for?”

“For what I’m going to do.”

And with that he leans in, sealing their lips together in the most delicate way. The kiss was short but it was enough to fuel both of their aching hearts. They sigh as they break it off, eyes still closed for a few more seconds as they try to bath in each other’s presence. Something that they’ve longed so painfully long for.

“I love you.” Fred says, looking at her tenderly “I would do anything, and I mean by anything to fix us. We can start from the beginning, I could be a friend or anything you like. Just- Please give me a chance to fix this.”

“I don’t know, Fred.” She teases, faking a sad face “You’re cute, but Bill looks so hot now.”

His mouth was agape, gasping at her taunt, “And here I thought you were a loyal friend. Siblings are off limits, you know it!”

She smiles, kissing the palm of his hand.

“Please?” He asked again, whispering his plea “You won’t regret it.”

“Okay,” She nods, cheeks red from the bliss “But only if you promise you’ll kiss me at the podium when we graduate.”

“Yeah, about that,” Fred awkwardly chuckles, one hand now finds its way to the back of his neck “You’d still love me if I got expelled, right?”

#fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley scenario #fred weasley scenarios #fred weasley imagines #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley oneshot #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley angst #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x oc

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its-time-to-write · 9 months

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i know now it’ll pass - ch. 5

I think these last two chapters are my favorite🥲 Lmk with you all think of the series bc I crave validation!!! No such thing as too many comments🥺🥺

still miss you

It’s the worst. You’re working in Manchester of all places, and you really wish that you were somewhere else. But they paid the most and offered housing and were able to hire you within two and a half weeks of your breakup. Higgins wrote a glowing letter of recommendation, and just like that, you were gone.

You’re going to miss your flat, you realize. You don’t even know who bought it. Doesn’t matter. They were willing to pay twice what it was worth as long as they were the offer you accepted.

It’s good that Jamie won’t see you around. Won’t have any lingering reminders. It’s good that you’re the one who ended things, because he won’t be able to blame himself for it. (He probably still will, you think, but you put that thought in a tiny box and put it on a shelf far away.)

Jamie doesn’t see you, but you see him. You see him in photos on the wall and hear him in the local voices and wish you could have just accepted his love for a little while longer.

You watch every single one of his games and cheer when he makes a goal. Or a pass. Or anything, really. He’s started running like Roy Kent did at Chelsea, like he’s angry at the grass. At least his anger is channeled into something productive.

Your new flat faces the sun, and you’re on the steps all the time. It’s not standard housing, it’s a real actual flat that Man City bought for you. It’s not big but it’s clean and yours and has a real, actual garden in the back. You think that you can manage this until you meet your neighbors and realize you’re really and truly fucked and the universe hates you.

You met the husband, Simon, on one of your sleepless nights. It was still relatively early, just 1:30, but you could tell that you weren’t going to get much sleep. Dr. Sharon transferred you to someone in Manchester, but now you were awake for different reasons. Jamie’s face kept haunting you so you kept your eyes wide open. Some mornings you’d wake up under the weighted blanket and think that it was him, in your groggy haze. Then you’d blink a couple times and remember that you’d broken up.

So you don’t sleep much. And now you’re on the porch with a cup of the tea Jamie’s mum recommended so long ago, the strong smell steaming into the air. As you sit down on your chair (you have a chair now) you hear a soft voice say, “Lovely night, isn’t it?” You nod and look over to see your neighbor sitting on his chair as well on the lawn.

“Sometimes I like to come out here and look at the stars,” he continues. “Can’t always see very many of them, but the fresh air is nice. I’m Simon, by the way.”

You nod again, give him your name, and sip your tea.

“Is that Sleep Plus by Twinings?” he asks. “I only ask because my wife swears by it. Has a cuppa every single night, so I’m well-acquainted with the smell.”

You smile. “Yeah, it is. A friend gave it to me. Said his mum loved it too. I have trouble sleeping, so…”

Simon nods. “Georgie, that’s my wife, used to have the same problem. Too many things on her mind, she said. But she’s been alright ever since we’ve been married. She says that it wasn’t really a chemical problem in her brain, but more the fact that she was always worried. Took me years to show her I wasn’t someone she needed to be worried around. But, I proved myself and here we are.” He chuckles fondly. “She’s upstairs snoring loud as can be.”

You sit in silence a while longer before Simon gets up and says, “Lovely to meet you. I’ll have Georgie invite you ‘round for tea sometime.”

Tea with your neighbors sounds wonderful until you walk into their flat and see pictures of Georgie’s son on the walls and on tables and on the fridge and in basically every possible space she can find. Simon mentions how he researched creative things to do with photographs because it “helps Georgie when she misses him,” and you know for an absolute fact that the universe has a personal hatred for you.

It has to, because why else would you have unwittingly gotten a flat right next to Jamie’s parents?

You force yourself to behave as normally as possible and thank them for a lovely meal. Georgie grabs your arm on the way out and says you ought to come over again some time. She hugs you and tells you she didn’t have a sparkle in her eyes at your age, either. She knows what it’s like and maybe you can have tea together tomorrow night, just the two of you. Talk about it and maybe you don’t have to struggle as much as she did.

You don’t smile at her, but she doesn’t mind. Georgie reaches out a hand to wipe away a tear and says, “Oh love. It’ll be alright. You’re not alone all the way out here. I miss my son something terrible and I can see you’re missing someone too. You’ve already made me feel better and I hope I can help you the way you’ve helped me. Good to have someone young around here.”

She’s smiling, and you realize she and Jamie have the same soft eyes.

Georgie hugs you tight again before you can bolt out the door. “You’re not alone, sweetheart,” she whispers. “You’ll be alright.”

—

Simon and Georgie are a godsend. Sure, you have to suffer their son staring down at you from his various portraits in the house, but you can talk to them. They’re like parents with the way Georgie hugs you and Simon is always bringing over excess baked goods. They’re always available to talk and listen, to laugh and sometimes, to cry.

Georgie tells you about her ex-husband one nights and it’s enough to make you sob. You tell her about your ex-boyfriend (the bad one) through gasps while she rubs your back and murmurs, “I’m right here, love.”

“How were you able to be with Simon?” you ask once you’ve calmed down. “I just can’t understand that. I’ve tried, I really have, but I was just waiting for him to get tired of me. And I’m not positive he ever would have.”

Georgie thinks for a moment. “I think I finally realized that James was not the standard for all men. He and Simon were very different, and Simon always showed me he respected me as a person. It took years of that, but here we are.” She laughs. “He’s a very patient man. Not many would put up with me and my Jamie.”

Jamie was patient. And funny. And the exact opposite of your ex. He’s confident with a touch of arrogance, but it’s the kind of confidence that’s contagious as opposed to oppressive. He’s sweet and thoughtful, and does things without expecting something in return. He likes to make you smile just for the sake of it, and you like to do the same.

You’re shaken from your reverie by Georgie saying, “That reminds me, Jamie’s coming into town this weekend. You should come over to meet him.”

She and Simon share a not-so-subtle glance that means you should date our son and become our actual daughter-in-law because you’re basically already ours, and that’s when you decide you’re going to be horribly ill.

“I’d love to,” you say out loud. “I’ll check my calendar.”

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#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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ladylooch · 1 year

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All About You- Brady Skjei

A/N: Whew, is it ever too early for smut on a Saturday? No? Okay thanks for making me feel better 🤪

I had a couple of requests for Brady Skjei, so this is my gift to both of those lovely anons.

My perception of Brady is very, very soft with a rough side, so I tried to capture that perception here. Thanks for reading!

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: 18+ Content, swearing, unsavory things while driving (be safe. Obey most of the laws).

I’m awakened on an off-day Sunday by Brady rolling out of bed. I wince at the sun streaking in through the blinds, annoyed with last night us that decided we were too drunk to do one last step. I toss my arm over my eyes, stretching my back out. I attempt to settle myself deeper into bed as I feel the other side dip from Brady’s return.

“How do you want your coffee?” He asks me. His fingers wrap around my wrist, pulling it from my face so he can place kisses along my soft skin. I sigh at the brief presses, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

“Cold and in two hours.” I mutter.

“Cold it is.” Another kiss and he’s gone.

I doze in and out of consciousness for the next few minutes until I hear his heavy footsteps coming back down the hall. I open one eye at him, seeing my to-go tumbler filled with delicious liquid gold. I reach for it, confused.

“Am I going somewhere?”

“Yeah, baby. Get dressed. Comfy clothes only today.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” His smile is mischievous.

“Brady, it’s too early for games.” I say to him, slowly sitting up. My shoulders slouch forward. I can tell my hair is a mess, my mascara is definitely smudged into raccoon eyes and my breath is hot garbage. And still, he looks at me like he’s never seen anything more beautiful. His brown eyes liquify. Eventually, he comes to, leaning forward to connect our lips. He doesn’t mind garbage breath.

“No games. I promise.” He says nothing more as he wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me from the bed.

“This is a game.”

“No, it’s to get you to move that hot ass a little faster.” He sets me in the bathroom then gives my butt a slap. “Hustle, Skjei.”

I try to do as coach asked, alternating between getting ready tasks and small sips of my coffee. Brady comes in at least three more times to check my progress until I shut the door on him.

“You’re making this take longer!” I yell through the door at his protesting.

“I need you done in five minutes.” He responds.

I’m done in three, opening the door to find him laying on the bed, hands crossed over his stomach, staring at the ceiling. He pops up, assessing my outfit of yoga pants and a cropped, peach sweatshirt. My hair is settled into a high ponytail and I’m makeup free.

“Just the way I like you.” He murmurs, walking towards me. His hands slide to my ass, gripping both cheeks with his strong hands. His mouth encloses mine. My fingers card through his long hair, tugging the strands slightly just how he loves. “Oof. Okay, we better go before I change my mind.”

“When do I get to know where we are going?” I ask him as I click my seatbelt into place.

“When we get there.” He insists, pulling out of our garage. “Enjoy the ride, baby.” He jokes as he puts on my favorite true crime podcast that he literally loathes. I squeal in delight, tucking my legs into a pretzel, gripping my tumbler and listening intently.

We are on the road, traveling through the morning humidity haze until we come to an obscure building with windows only facing out towards a fenced wooded area. I turn to Brady expectantly.

“Today is all about you.” He murmurs. “You’ve been so good to me this season. Taking care of every detail with the house renovation, food for us, attending every home game, and making sure I’m always ready to hit the road. I love and appreciate you so much. I couldn’t be successful in this league without you.”

“B-” I pout sweetly at him.

“Nah. Don’t deflect. I mean it, I’m so lucky to have you. So, I planned a whole spa day for you. Just you. I know you really want to get some alone time in to recharge, so it’s all set for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, whatever they do here, you’re getting it. You deserve to be pampered. And I would gladly do it, but I think you’ll be getting better service from the professionals.” I laugh, thinking of Brady attempting to paint my nails.

“Let’s be honest. We wouldn’t get passed the massage part.” I grin, leaning across the center console to kiss him. “You’re so sweet. Thank you.”

“Thank you. Now, get out of this car. I’ll pick you up in five hours.”

Brady wasn’t kidding. He absolutely went all out for me. The spa had it all- tranquil music, cozy waiting areas, and the most luxurious robes I’d ever slipped onto my body. I started with a gentle, Swedish massage, then moved into a moisturizing facial. By the time I got to my manicure and pedicures, I was a puddle of goo in the chair. I sipped on expensive champagne, ate delicious snacks of fruit and assorted cheeses all while enjoying my own company and several podcasts that had built up in my Spotify episodes. By the time I saw my husband again, I felt like a completely different person.

“Holy shit.” I say to him as I collapse into the passenger seat. His hand immediately finds my thigh, rubbing his thumb against the smooth fabric of my pants. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this relaxed in my whole life. And that includes our honeymoon.” I rest my head back against the seat, sighing contently. I slowly open my eyes, turning to Brady who gives me that same look from this morning- like I’m the best thing he’s ever seen. “Thank you.” I finish in a whisper. “This season has been a grind.” I admit, not that it’s news. After two shortened seasons, the 82 game season was an adjustment.

“I know.” He reaches his hand up, cupping my cheek to bring our lips together. He feels like heaven. I can’t help but moan. The air in the car shifts and Brady presses his mouth tighter to mine. I nibble his bottom lip in my mouth, reaching my hand out to skirt across the zipper of his shorts.

“Only one more thing could make this day perfect.”

“Oh, we aren’t even close to done yet.” He tells me. “That was just phase one.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” I whine, watching as he pulls away to start driving.

“It was the five star head on our 1st date.”

“Brady!” I snap, slapping his thigh. His quad seemingly claps back, making my hand sting. My cheeks tint red at the memory. Normally I’m not someone to put out on the first date, but something about Brady was different from the start. I wanted to.. no I had to, at that sophomore year homecoming party hosted by the hockey team.

“I think about that on a weekly basis.” He admits to me, flipping his turn signal on and heading to the right. “Knew I’d do just about anything to keep that mouth on me.” I drop my head in my hands, laughing. I slide my fingers apart, swiveling my head to look at him.

“What would you do for it right now?” I can feel the breath rush from his chest at the thought. Most of our way home is obscure backroads. Very little traffic is with us or going the opposite direction. It’s risky, but not impossible.

“You start us in this car and I’ll finish us inside of you.”

“Promise?” I ask, skirting my fingers along the growing bulge.

“Yeah, baby.” He moans as I work the button of his shorts apart.

After a little awkward maneuvering, I get him out of his boxer briefs. I work the seatbelt around my shoulders, keeping it across my lap and perching my mouth in front of his thick shaft. I wrap my fingers delicately around it, pumping the velvet skin and watching as a bead appears at his slit. My tongue licks at it, savoring the salty pleasure. Brady’s hand comes between my shoulder blades like he’s bracing himself for what is next. I kiss his tip the leisurely part my lips for pull him into my mouth. The passionate sigh he releases has anticipating tightening my inner core.

“Was it this good?” I ask him before taking him all the way into my mouth. I let him thrust deeper, nudging down my throat.

“No.” He admits. “It’s better now that you’re my wife.” I smile around him, then grip the base of his shaft with my hand. When my mouth and hand begin to work together, Brady groans deeply. His breathing increases and his grip on the steering wheel tightens. He presses into my back, encouraging me deeper. I do, then revel in the tortured sounds coming from his mouth. I feel the car stop, sensing we are just about to turn left into our neighborhood. “Go faster until the light turns green.” He begs. I comply, working him over quickly- sucking, licking, and squeezing. “Fuuuuuck.” He moans. A car honks behind us. Brady tugs my ponytail for me to stop. “No more until we are home. Damn, I hate saying that, but I won’t make it if you keep going.”

I pop back up, shoulders rolled back like a queen while wiping at my mouth. Brady’s hand moves to between my legs, feeling the heat radiating. He works his fingers in deeper as I spread wider for him. I grip his wrist as he teases me with the tips of his fingers, not able to get the movement he wants through my Lulu’s.

“Hold on a bit longer, babe.” He says as he turns onto our street.

The garage door is barely open enough for the car to clear. I cringe, expecting Brady to hit it and breathe a sigh of relief when he doesn’t. When the car is in park, he pushes the button again to close. I shove my door open, meeting him on the outside. Our hands grope each other greedily. He works us backwards towards the door. He presses me hard against the wood, wrapping my knee around his waist to grind into my folds.

I reach behind me, twisting the knob so we crash into the mudroom. Brady spins us, then pulls me towards the built in oak, cubbies.

“Come here.” He demands, sitting in the middle of the built ins. I laugh, thinking of how we built these slots for our future children to have a place for their little coats and shoes.

Brady’s shorts drop to his ankles. I work myself to straddle his lap, more than ready for him to be stuffed inside of me. I grip his rigid cock so I can slide down. I glide down him, settling my thighs against his. I moan, accepting his immediate thrusting up into me. I’m so wet, him so rigid, that the feelings are electing profound moans from us both.

“Good God.” He pants, looking up into my face as I ride him. He shoves my shirt up, pulling my sports bra down to reveal my nipple. I sob out in pleasure as he works the bud with his tongue. I reach up, gripping the metal hooks and adjusting my angle on him.

“Yes. Oh my god, yes.” I laugh incredulously at how unbelievable it feels. I can already feel my orgasm torturing me for release. “Babe.” I warn him.

“Mmm, you’re so beautiful fucking me like this.” He insists between tugs on my nipple.

“I’m coming.” I tell him. He keeps the exact tempo I need, keeping my nipple flush against his tongue as he wiggles me to my explosive orgasm. “Fu-fuck yes.” I wail, gripping the back of his neck, my fresh manicure digging into his tan skin. “Shit.” I sob to him as my inner muscles clench tightly around him.

“God damn.” He moves his hand to the small of my back, working my hips into him until he fills me. I rut against him to help him finish completely, then collapse against his chest.

“So our least favorite kid gets this one?” He jokes of the cubbies.

“That’s mean…” I trail off, hot breath dancing against his t-shirt.

“Fair… maybe the one we just made then.” I smile against his skin.

“So we are trying now?”

“I mean, you threw your birth control out of the car last night on the way home from dinner?”

“What!” I exclaim, shocked.

“Yeah, you were like… I’m ready Brady!” He mocks me with a high voice. His hand tosses over his shoulder.

“What the…” I trail off, not remembering that. “Stop letting me drink Palomas.”

“I mean, I just came in you unprotected so, I’ve done what I can on that for nine months.”

“Yeah… then I guess we are trying. Thanks drunk me.” I giggle, placing our lips together. Brady gently lifts me. I wince a bit as he slides out, my folds feeling used and a bit raw.

“Okay?” He asks me, searching my face.

“Way better than okay.” I assure him.

“You ready for phase two?”

“Mhm.”

“Good. Trashy TV, couch cuddles, and take out- coming right up.”

It’s finally confirmed, I think to myself as Brady exits the mudroom to get phase 2 prepared. Being married to Brady Skjei is heaven on earth.

#Brady skjei #Brady Skjei fan fiction #Brady Skjei smut #Carolina hurricanes #hockey writing #NHL fan fiction #writing request #my writing

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 2 years

Text

Sternum

Please enjoy a smattering of feelings and some slight self indulgence.

Gender Neutral Reader Insert.

CW: 18+ Content (Smut/Smut Adjacent)

_____________________________________

Calum knows you're obsessed with tattoos--yours and his. The thing he's not ready for, though he should be after the countless hours you've spent tracing his chest tattoos, is the day he comes home and finds you topless laying on the bed, starting up at the ceiling.

"Is everything alright?" he asks.

"If I breathe, I can still feel the pricks of the needles in my sternum and stomach," you return.

"What are you--What happened?" He closes the distance and when he gets to the edge of the bed, he can see the sternum tattoo shining, clearly covered in Saniderm.

"No way," he whispers. "Is that where you were today?" You told him you had an appointment, but hadn't told him what kind. Recently, your conversations revolved around things that the house needed--scheduling a powerwash, getting a gardening service in to trim the hedges, getting the dryer cleaned out for lint, and some health stuff you wanted to be proactive about-dentist mostly.

You nod. "Yeah, took a few hours. But I like it. It just--holy cow," you state.

Calum settles onto the edge of he bed, gazing over the shading and linework. "I so wish I didn't know that was there until it was healed," he states.

You can almost hear the grovel in his voice. Now, instead of the sting of pain, you can feel Calum's heated gaze racking over your chest and stomach. "Don't make me get a spray bottle. I'll do it." You signal to him with a signal digit to stay away from you. "I did not sit for five hours in pain for you to fuck this up."

Calum knows that while it's wrapped, you still had to be careful about anything extraneous. You were one that did not take getting your tattoos lightly, mostly because you took your time to come up with ideas that would make you happy and work in your artist's preferred style.

His hands trail up your legs, teasing at the tops of your thighs. "I'll keep my hands to myself for these next two weeks, but you'll have to make it up to me afterwards."

"Gladly," you return and inching to sit up causes you to tease. The sound of your pain cuts through the haze of arousal and Calum leans down to kiss your forehead.

"Stay. I'll get you whatever you need."

"Thank you," you call out after asking just for some water.

Calum, hooking one hand around the door molding to stop himself, leans back just a little to look at you over his shoulder. "Don't thank me just yet," he laughs.

True to Calum's word, he's careful around you as your tattoo heals. It takes a couple days for the pain to fully subside. The tenderness goes with it and you feel mostly like yourself soon after. But you can tell when you're changing or wearing a particularly revealing top, Calum's eyes are dancing around your chest, taking in the sight of the ink. More than once as you've changed in the bedroom, Calum's groaned loudly and turned away. "You're not making this any easier!" he'd shout.

You get the last of the plates into the dish rack to dry before hands start tracing along the hem of your t-shirt. Calum's lips are on your neck as you let the water drain.

"I've been good," he whispers in your ear.

You wash your hands, but hum at the feeling is his breath tickling your skin. "I know." You push back against him ever so gently and he takes just a half step back and you turn. Your arms wind around his neck and your lips seal around his in a kiss.

Calum steps back into you, hands cradling your face and body against him. He loves the feeling of you close to him. The two of the you walk out of the kitchen, but don't make it farther than the dining room table. He plops you onto the edge of the table and when his hands are freed, he makes quick work of your shirt.

His kisses trail down your neck, to your chest, down your sternum and over the ink. He kisses every inch of the tattoo and you recline back, weight falling to your hands to let him. He gets it know. How you could loose yourself just in the sight, wanting to trace every line itched into your skin. Not that he hadn't understood it before, but he gets it a thousand times more now than ever before.

Calum lingers with the tattoo for longer than you imagined but you don't mind the tickle of his scruff or the soft touch of his lips igniting your skin. Soon he continues down your stomach. One of your hands fall into his hair as he kneels between your legs. You keep your palm flat as you drag your palm over his scalp for just a moment and then your fingers tighten around the base of the strands. Calum gives into the tug and lets his head fall back at your guidance.

He takes in your hooded eyes and smile. "You're wasting my time, sweetheart," he calls out.

"I like you better with your mouth full also," you agree, "but I just needed to take this in for a moment."

Calum only chuckles, letting you bask for a moment. You loosen the grip a few seconds later and he returns to his earlier task of consuming every inch of you that you'll let him have. He finds himself insatiable when you give him everything. Your first and second orgasms aren't enough. Even though he falls, too, over the edge once at your insistence, nothing really beats the way you taste on his tongue. Nothing feels better than the way your skin feels against his palm and mouth.

You're sure that by orgasms three and four of the night, the evening having settled darkly behind the living room blinds, that Calum is tired. But his kisses continue up your body and you can feel yourself sinking--literally and figuratively. His weight presses you deeper into the couch, the metal of his chains are hot against your skin. But your mind is hazing over.

Lazily you cups his jaw and interrupts his devotion. He cooes when he looks up at you. "Oh, look at you," he hums.

Your laugh is soft. Your breathing is slow but nothing of alarm. "I think I have to tap out, love."

He nods, watching the way your eyes are still closed as you speak though you wear a small smile. "It was a long two weeks," he returns.

"I'm starting to see just how long it was." Your eyes are still closed and Calum nestles just for a moment into the hand of yours still cupping his cheek.

He pushes up to cover your face is light kisses. You giggle when a few of them tickle and he pauses right over your lips. You blink open your eyes to be greeted by the deep brown of his gaze. And like toffee in a hot summer sun, his gaze melts at the sight of you. It's a comforting sight. "Love you," he whispers.

"Love you too," you return.

"You know where you should get a tattoo next?"

"Where?" you asks. Calum responds only be tapping lightly on the side of your ass. You laugh, loud and full of life, once you catch onto his answer. "Yeah, it should say Kiss me too."

"And I'm calling first dibs on that too!" he returns, laughing into your neck. The sound bounces around your ear, before crawling up to your brain and your spine shivers. You love the sound of his laughter.

"I'll get you smaller tattoo under it that says Reserved for Calum T. Hood."

"Okay, maybe not my full name, but I like where your head is at."

The laughter subsides and Calum rests his head on your shoulder. Your fingers trail over his arm, shoulder, and back, lazily etching invisible designs onto his skin. Calum thinks that if a tattoo could etch the feeling of anything into his skin, he'd want to permanently put your soft touch into his bones.

#calum hood #calum hood blurb #calum hood smut #calum hood fluff #5sos #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos imagine #5sos blurb #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer imagine #h writes #calum hood x reader #calum hood x gender neutral reader

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theluckywizard · 20 hours

Text

In the Shattering of Things, Ch. 74: Departures

Chapter Summary: With an alliance with Celene secured, Rose departs Halamshiral, hoping to turn her attention toward the Wardens and operations across southern Orlais. Unfortunately, there's a minor hiccup.

Fic Summary: Lady Rose Trevelyan's idle, aristocratic life blinks out in a haze of irrelevance when the breach destroys the Conclave. She may be soft and coddled when she joins the Inquisition, but there's a fierceness inside her she's yet to fully recognize. Armed with only a few relevant skills and the mark that makes her a legend, she is thrust onto a path delivering hope where it’s long been scorched away and finds comfort in the grumpy, handsome stick in the mud charged with her protection and training. As she stumbles her way across southern Thedas, she begins to realize she's tangled at the center of machinations she barely understands, and she's not alone in that. Enter Hawke.

Excerpt under the cut 👇

The remnants of frothing waves wash past my feet, hollowing out the space beneath them until they sink comfortably into the sand. It’s a colorless day, banks of fog mostly swallowing the Waking Sea, the gloom of the sky and the murk of the sea mingling in a sort of lost horizon. The shore to my left is littered with limp clumps of black seaweed and white slivers of bleached shells in want of collection. A tall sandy escarpment, half-devoured by the whims of the sea, runs the length, hiding my home up above. It’s all gray, but it holds me like sunshine.

The pull of the sand around my feet firms up, each step sinking deeper.

And then it doesn’t let go.

I laugh at first and then begin to dig, but the sand just fills back in. My feet won’t budge. A flutter of panic becomes beating wings inside my chest. I’m trapped. Caught. Just like the avalanche.

And then the water creeps higher. Foam streams past my shins and then sloshes at my knees as I continue to claw the sand away from my feet. The water deepens until I have to draw a breath before plunging beneath the surface to fruitlessly scrape away the tenacious sediment. When I surface again he’s there.

A mist dulled red fox staring at me with golden eyes safe above the tide line. I’d dug myself free the last time he’d been so close. I draw another breath and plunge in, shuddering sobs tugging at my lungs as I try to free myself. Standing again, the waves splashing up at my waist, I wipe saltwater from my face and blink. Solas stands on the shore beside Jaime. Staring.

When I look down I’m bleeding from two open stab wounds, brilliant red wicking in the sodden weave of my dove gray dress. But I was healed .

“Solas!” I choke, but I already know that he won’t help me.

He only leans on his staff watching with grave interest, his gray unblinking eyes fixed to mine. The fox sits, settling in for this show.

The water inundates the bleeding wounds but the salt doesn’t sting. It’s a dream . Merciful Maker. It’s only a dream.

Down the beach the air ripples, a figure made of light pierces the landscape, the world wobbling all around them and then leaves a trail as everything sloshes back together behind them. They approach, walking straight for me into the grasping sand, cutting into the lacey surface of the sea, their radiance far too intense to make out much of anything.

But I know them.

I just do.

My fear settles even as the water laps at my chin when they stand before me, the sea and air shimmering and warping around the edges of them. They’re in this dream but they’re not of it. And as a wave crests past my mouth, they reach out and brush my forehead with a gentle finger. And I don’t hear it but I feel it, the same way I’ve felt it before.

Rose. Wake up.

@exalted-dawn-drabbles | @blarrghe | @delicatefade | @leggywillow

#dragon age fan fiction #in the shattering of things #rose trevelyan #cullen x trevelyan #hawke x trevelyan #my writing #theluckywizard #my art #cullen rutherford #garrett hawke #perseverance #halamshiral

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nerdyenby · 1 year

Text

Third Life playlist

This is an explanation for my song choices for the Third Life segment of my Traffic Series playlist

Bang by AJR: this whole song is very much giving the same ‘Something’s going to happen but I don’t know what, thanks for coming along to find out’ energy as I get from the start of Third Life. Something’s going on, it’s not gonna end well, but we’re not particularly bothered, not yet at least. I also like to go for a double meaning and interpret the “bang” as Scar’s first death.

High Up by half•alive: “Behind your back a cold surprise, in favor of the third degree. I took a breath and took the knife, no I won’t defend the killer in me.” After accidentally killing Scar, Grian offers his own life to the man, vowing to do whatever Scar wants. When all Scar wants is company, the two establish Monopoly Mountain together and Grian comes to enjoy living with Scar. “Sitting on the mountain now I’m high up, never wanna come down. When you look at me, I’m lifted.”

Say It, Just Say It by The Mowgli’s: This song goes out to all the Third Life duos. “I will take your side, you make me feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life. And I could die to find that simple kind of love you can’t deny.”

Kamikaze by WALK THE MOON: I was familiar with the term “kamikaze” but wanted to clarify what exactly it meant in this context. According to Cambridge dictionary, a kamikaze attack is a sudden and violent onslaught, usually by an attacker who knows they will not make it out alive. I find this very fitting to 3L!Grian as he went mad causing death and destruction early on with no regard for his own life. “Going down with my wings on fire, guess I’ll see you in another life. Stepping out of body, you can tell everybody I’m a kamikaze.”

Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift: Even after Grian dies and the terms of their deal are satisfied, he still goes back to Scar. It was barely a choice. “They said the end is coming, everyone’s up to something, I find myself running home to your sweet nothings.”

Fight for it by Joy Oladokun: “You’re sticking with me tonight for life, I’m sticking with you.” People dying left and right, Grian and Scar stick together, fighting for their lives.

The Great War by Taylor Swift: “All that bloodshed, crimson clover, the bombs were closer. My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War. I’ll always remember the burning embers. I vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the Great War.” Final deaths raining around them, they leaned on each other heavily, relying on each other until it got to the final three. Scar was the one to bring Grian to red. “Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I’d been betrayed,” only for Scar to offer him his final life and the crown. Grian watched awestruck as Scar later down his life, giving the other complete permission to kill him.

Graveyard by Halsey: “It’s crazy when the thing you love the most is the detriment.” This song can be from either Grian or Scar’s point of view of how Grian keeps being the one to hurt Scar the most. They keep running back to each other, hoping it will change, but it never does. Whether it’s Scar’s first death or his last, it’s Grian. It’s always Grian. “When the hand you wanna hold is a weapon, and you’re nothing but skin.”

Gladiator by Waterparks: This is about the final fight in the cactus ring and all the forces pushing them into it: the ghosts, the Watchers, and us the viewers. “And what it comes back to is gladiators. Make them fight to the death. And they would cheer on a gladiator, but the whole time the gladiator wasn’t fighting because he liked fighting[…] he was fighting completely for survival. And his whole survival completely relied upon a stadium full of people.”

Getaway Car by Taylor Swift: After killing Scar, Grian reflects on how they met. “I struck a match and blew your mind, but I didn’t mean it, and you didn’t see it.” Their bond was formed from destruction and guilt. They were never going to end any other way. “Don’t pretend it’s such a mystery, think about the place where you first met me.”

? by Tate McRae: “It’s crazy to me because you grow up, you lose friends, you’re suddenly scared of things that you were literally never scared of before. And when I was younger, I used to think I could fly.” Grian’s final death: the fall.

Finale by AJR: Grian winning the Third Life and having to make Last Life. “Congratulations on your bit of success, we can’t wait to see what you do next.” The speaker can be interpreted the Watchers or us the audience (if you interpret them as distinct). “They wanted heaven from me, I gave ‘em hell. Now they want something bigger, I’m overwhelmed.”

#cw death #tw sui implied #traffic series #trafficblr #third life #grian #goodtimeswithscar #scarian #<- not really writing them as romantic but you can interpret it however you like #don’t ship real people ofc #nerdy’s traffic analysis

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hargrove-brainrot · 1 year

Text

| Summer Break • Pt 1 |

💕a passionate billy hargrove x fem! reader💕

idk how long it will be until i post the next part because i haven’t started it yet-

anywaysssss i’m kinda excited to see this series play out!!!

⚠️WARNINGS:⚠️

light hints of smut, smoking, hints of abuse, a little bit of hurt and comfort, but overall it’s wholesome

SUMMARY:

it’s the last day of school. your boyfriend, billy hargrove was spending the night at your house (as he usually did). turns out, he has some plans for the summer…

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“SUMMER BREAK”

a huge, bright colored banner hung above you as you walked down the hall. all the kids were flooding out of the classrooms like birds. groups of girls were huddled together talking about their summer plans, while boys roughly crashed into each other and shouted like apes.

you looked over the top of everyone’s heads to find your favorite dirty blonde mullet. after a minute of searching, you couldn’t see him. “he probably ditched early”, you thought to yourself, “dumbass”. part of you felt bummed that you wouldn’t get to walk out of school on the last day with his empowering presence (or so you thought…).

“GAH-“, you squealed, your waist being squeezed by two strong arms and your feet floating above the ground, “BILLY!”. billy chuckled as he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. he then lowered your squirming body to the floor.

“i’m surprised you didn’t ditch the last couple classes”, you teased, playfully smacking billy’s chest. “i used to”, he said, “but i can’t let you go parade around in front of all the boys, can i?”. “so clingy”, you purred, pulling him towards you by his thin, chain necklace and kissing him gently.

you two began walking out the door, one of billy’s hands wrapped around your waist. you eventually got to his car through the mobs of people. the leather passenger seat was hot against your thighs, and the air in the car was muggy.

“are we going to my place?”, you asked, already knowing the answer. “yeah”, billy sighed, “…we are”. his voice changed as he said that. you knew what was on his mind. you took his hand and gently rubbed over his knuckles with your thumb. “i’m sorry, baby”, you said softly, “just one more year, and you don’t have to see him anymore”.

“mhm”, billy muttered. you kissed the top of his hand before gently letting go. the car made a puttering sound as billy turned it on.

………………………

“are you hungry, b?”

billy lit a cigarette after plunking down on one of the leather sofas. “yeah, lunch was was pretty bad so i didn’t eat shit today”. you nodded, trying to think of what you could make. “we could order pizza”, billy said, “i’m pretty sure i have enough pocket change”.

“i could- probably pay”, you said, “you keep your money-“. billy kissed your forehead. “you worry too much”, he softly whispered, “you do so much for me. hell, i practically live in your house”. you rolled your eyes and grinned. a red haze grew on your face as billy gently held his hand up to your cheek. he smiled as you leaned into it.

“i’ll call”, you said, gently holding his hand after moving it off your face. “you do too much”, he chuckled, “go relax”. you pouted, walking over to the couch and sitting down.

ten minutes pass, and the food is ordered. billy sat down beside you and rested his arm around your shoulder. you laid your head on his chest, billy kissing the top of your head.

“i was thinking about this summer”, billy shared, “maybe i could bring you to california, and we could spend a week parked on random beaches”. “that sounds wonderful”, you replied, “have you… told your dad?”.

“oh, neil? the man couldn’t care less if i killed myself”.

“billy!”, you giggled. “what? it’s true”. billy smiled as you laughed, adoring your smile. “don’t pick on yourself”, you said out of breath, leaning back into him. after a couple seconds of awkward silence, you looked back at each other. billy rolled his eyes and chuckled as you started laughing again.

…….……………………

both of your mouthes were smothered with grease as you had just finished eating. you threw out the paper dishes, and loaded the left over pizza in the fridge.

“how are we getting to california?”, you asked.

“i’ll borrow tommy’s van”, billy answered, “it’s roomy, and it’ll be easier than taking my car”. “gross” you muttered. “oh be quiet”, he scoffed, “i get it, he’s a dick head. but where else am i gonna get a van?”. “i guess”, you sighed, “i just have a feeling we’re gonna find all kinds of wrong in there”. you stepped closer to where billy was sitting and swung your hips over his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“if there is…”, billy mumbled between kisses, “i’ll yell at him”. you smiled against his lips, sliding off of billy’s lap as he stood up. he held your back as he kissed you again. you looked at him with doe eyes before tugging him to the bedroom.

billy attempted to pin you backwards to the bed. “ah ah ahhh”, you purred, placing a finger on his lips. you strolled over to true SONY record player resting on a shelf and played your favorite tears for fears record. you stepped up to billy and slid your hands behind his neck.

“i know you prefer metal”, you said, “but this is better dancing music”. billy smirked as his hands slid down your swaying hips. you moved your hands to his head and kissed billy gently. his hands slipped down to your bum as you continued to kiss and sway to the rhythm.

you two began kissing again, more passionately this time. billy untucked your shirt from your pants before sliding his raspy hands up your back. you shivered as his hands tickled your needy skin.

you knew what billy was doing, and he did too. he was trying to tease you into ecstasy, and god it was working. he started to move his face down your neck, kissing and sucking your hot skin. you whimpered as he did so, fumbling with billy’s curls in your hands. he plunked you down onto the bed, ditching his shirt afterwards.

“you always find a way, don’t you?”, you muttered.

“i prefer metal”.

you rolled your eyes and scoffed. you began kissing again, the tension only rising between you. it was going to be a long, passionate night.

………………………………………………………

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!!!

(i didnt feel like writing a whole smut after that because i’m kinda burnt out lately:( anyways you get the point)

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honey-dew-woo · 2 years

Text

Top Gun Second Gen | Chapter Seven

Gah! This took me so LONG to get out! Special thanks to @specialbrewbutterbeer for helping me figure out the timeline so I could finish this bit. I hope you enjoy (;

Masterlist | Chapter Six

---------------------------------------------------

I wish we could dogfight football every day. That would be heaven. Not having to worry about the mission. But no, that is exactly what we are all doing as we sat in the debriefing room, a pen twirling in the fingers of Phoenix, who sat with Bob across the aisle from Rooster and I.

We all looked to the front to find Bates, Simpson, and Maverick. The three looked grim as I bit my lip in anticipation. "The mission time has been moved up. The uranium plant will be operational before we had anticipated." Simpson informed, as Bates nodded, Maverick didn't meet our eyes, but rather opting to stare at the ground.

"How long?" I heard Yale ask from behind me.

Glancing from the Admirals before me, my eyes found themselves on the man sitting next to me. Analyzing Bradley's face as his brows furrowed, his gaze somehow even more intent- his jaw fixed- how did his jawline get that sharp? "One week." My father's voice broke me from my haze, as my eyes snapped back to the front. Oh shit. Eyes widened around the room, my own included, and I tried not to let my jaw drop from this. "Due to this, the Admirals and I have decided to up your training. We will be trying the full course today, even with the steep climb out." "Yeah more life coffin corner." I mumbled to Bradley, my eyes not moving from where my father stood in front of the podium, Admiral Bates and Simpson walking out to let him instruct us.

Rooster flashed me a grin, glancing from the corner of his eyes before we both gave our attention back to Captain Mitchell. "Alright, up first is Payback and Fanboy," He spoke, reading off of a clipboard before looking back up to us, "alongside Rebel." He finished, placing his clipboard down before motioning for us to the hit door.

"Goodluck." Bradley nodded, as I gave him a warm smile in return before following the duo who was called with me to the runway. Grabbing my helmet on the way out of the building before eventually hopping in my plane took less time than expected, and soon I was up in the air with Payback and Fanboy on my six.

"Alright boys, how fast do you wanna take it?" I teased, as we approached the mission area.

"I can keep up, Rebel." I heard Payback's voice return, as I smiled to myself.

"Then it's showtime." I responded, taking my jet up to 800 knots as we navigated the cavern.

It was smooth sailing until Fanboy's voice broke Payback and I's concentration from our flight. We were approaching the straight away before the inverted dive. "Rebel, Payback, we got company. Bogie is 1,000 yards out, approaching at 700 knots."

My brows furrowed, taking my bottom lip between my teeth as I narrowed my eyes. "It's your call, Mitchell. You're mission lead on this." Payback sounded as we continued the flight path.

"We can't go after him. We have to do the mission faster. Upping speed to 900 knots." I decided. That's what I'd do if there was a real mission. My face scrunched as I underwent the g-force of the inverted dive. We approached the target as I could faintly hear Fanboy telling us Maverick was getting even closer.

Despite the Captain approaching on us, Fanboy was still able to lock on the laser, and I took the shot. "It hit!" Fanboy cheered, as Payback and I smiled in excitement. Now, here comes the hardest part. My eyes glanced to the counter on my left.

5 G's.

6 G's.

"Payback, Fanboy, That's a kill. Level out." I heard my dads voice as I became determined to complete the climb.

7 G's.

8 G's.

Come on, just a little more. I narrowed my eyes as my vision began to get spotty.

9 G's.

"Y/N, that's a kill. Level out." I heard my dad's voice as my vision began to fade more. I have to complete this. I have to get his climb out.

10 G's.

"Level out!"

And that's when it went black.

"Pull up! Pull up!" My jet's inner coms blared at me, as the dead-tone of a missile lock broke me from my blackout.

"Oh shit!" I yelled, grabbing the controls and pulling my plane up from where it was nose diving in a cliff. I heard sighs of reliefs over coms, accompanied by my own. "Well. That wasn't so bad, was it?" I joked, out of breath, trying to fight my hands from shaking.

"Rebel, I swear to god." Fanboy's voice was heard over coms, causing a few of us to laugh.

I smirked into my mask before responding. "Sorry, sorry. You know I have a flare for the dramatics." I teased, trying to shake off the post G-Lock anxiety.

I directed my plane back to the base, Maverick and Payback flying behind me. "You've always had a flare for the dramat- oh shit! Bird strike! Watchout!" Payback's voice sounded, as my jet once again started to yelling at me.

You've got to be fucking joking. "Right engine is out, gaining altitude!" I yelled as the birds flew around us. Of course it had to be my plane, right? "Extinguishing- shit left engines out." I spoke, as my jet began to fall.

"Eject Rebel!" Maverick's voice sounded as my own plane began to agree with him, also screaming 'eject' at me.

<*>

'Oh shit' was the last thing I remembered before pulling the handles. Now, I was in a room in the hospital wing of the Top Gun base, or at least what I think is. I could hear voices around me as I blinked open my eyes, watching Bradley and my father arguing at the end of my bed. It seemed serious, so I flitted my eyelids back down, allowing the two some privacy, I suppose as they seemed as though they were fighting.

"My dad believed in you. I'm not gonna make that same mistake." Bradley's voice shattered the room as I watched my dad's harsh gaze soften. I bit my bottom lip, my eyes now opened.

A knock at the door broke the two's staring contest, as Admiral Bates entered the room. He briefly looked between the males before turning to me. "It's good to see you're awake, Lieutenant Mitchell."

I smiled warmly, trying to hide the fact that I had been up to hear the argument between the two most important men in my life. The two were now looking at me in shock, perhaps also hoping I didn't witness that. "Thank you, Admiral Bates."

"Maverick, can we talk outside?" He asked, as my father nodded. Bates moved fully into the hallway as my dad smiled at me, patting my leg before following the Admiral outside.

Bradley smiled at me, taking a seat by my bedside. "What's wrong?" He asked, observing me.

I opened my mouth for a moment before responding. "Nothing."

"Bullshit. You've always been a terrible liar." He informed me, a small smile still evident on his face as I chuckled.

"Touchè." I smiled softly, before continuing. I broke my eyecontact with Bradley, and was staring at the bed before me. "You still blame him, don't you?" I sighed out, still not looking at him as he placed a hand on my leg. "For what happened." I finished ,looking to him as his eyes met mine.

He shook his head, "No. I don't." He spoke, now it was his turn to break eye contact as he stared at the floor before continuing. "I still blame him for pulling my papers, yes but that- no." He shook his head, looking back to me. A look in his eyes intensified the conversation as I returned his gaze.

"I don't blame him for that. I'm trying not to blame him for this." He motioned to me in the bed. "I know it wasn't his fault but God, Y/N. It was so hard. When you hit G-Lock it took everything in me not to go get in my plane to go to you." He confessed, as I opened my mouth to respond before quickly closing it again.

He wasn't done talking. "It took Coyote and Phoenix to hold me back from rushing to you when you ejected. I- I just wanted to be there. To help you." He spoke, his eyes now wandering to the bed I laid on.

"Bradley." I whispered, cupping his face with my hand, as his gaze travelled back to my eyes.

His hand moved to my arm, holding my wrist as he swiped his thumb across my forearm. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Y/N." He confessed with a soft smile.

I smiled myself as I swiped my thumb across his face. "I love you." It was now my turn to confess. "I have ever since we were teenagers, Bradley. God you don't know how much it hit when you took fucking Jessica to prom." I teased, pulling back my arm as we both laughed at the memory.

"Yeah, well you took Kyle." He returned, a critical pointed gaze of judgement at me caused both of us to break out into another fit of giggles. "I love you too, Y/N. And you don't even want to know how I felt about you taking him to prom." He spoke, once again lightening the mood as we both grinned at each other. He leaned in first, and I followed as our faces became close. "Is this okay?" He whispered, his breath hot on my face.

"God, yes." I returned, his lips enveloping mine. It felt as though a spark ignited through my body as I smiled, him pulling back. "Hey Rooster."

His head tipped up, his eyes meeting mine. "Yeah, Rebel?" He responded the callsign.

"Take me to bed or lose me forever." I winked, he opened his mouth in shock, a smile still evident on his face through his eyes.

He tilted his head before responded. "Show me the way home, honey."

---------------------

(i'm doing whoever comments on the last post as a taglist, that way it's just easier [and hopefully smaller] sorry! hope you all understand<3

Taglist:

@marie115 @1lellykins @ben-hothauser @starkleila @evans-dejong @sarahstar11 @n3ssm0nique @hobbit-historian @lucky-lexie99 @apollo-naire @lilpbj @foreverchasingtime @thatchickwiththecamera @americaarse @jonginvlog @hummusxx @mapleleafeater @the-key-to-me-myself-and-i @mads-weasley @levylovegood @itscheybaby

#bradley bradshaw #bradley #bradshaw #top #gun #top gun #maverick #top gun maverick #rooster #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x mitchell!reader

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forestwhisper3 · 11 months

Text

Started working on the next chapter of Horizons again, but of course, pulling away from Dragon of the Sun is not going to be instant after focusing on it for so long. I usually just work on one thing until I’m done with a chapter before moving on, but I find myself currently working on both at once. It’s...an interesting experience.

Not bad, necessarily, just working my brain in different ways as I flip back and forth between fandoms.

Anyway, I don’t quite have a Horizons snippet I want to share just yet (maybe soon), but here’s the beginning of the next chapter of Dragon of the Sun:

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

This was...strange.

Mikey looked around the small room. It didn't look like anywhere he'd been before- all shiny metal pipes and wires and like some sort of futuristic spaceship. The soft, teal lighting coming from...somewhere gave it an even more surreal feeling.

...Where was he?

A large round door slid open in front of him, and he found himself walking forward and into the hallway beyond.

The hallway wasn't teal, but it was empty in a way that was unnerving. It seemed to stretch on forever, and no matter how far he walked he came across no sharp turns. No doors. Just a gently curving corridor that never ended. Everything was still and silent, like holding your breath right before-...before...

...What was he doing here, anyway?

He couldn't seem to remember where he'd been before this, or what he'd been doing. Something about that felt kind of familiar, but it was a hazy sort of recognition. Like seeing an image through frosted glass.

Something wasn't right.

He kept walking.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally reached the end of the hall. Another door, square this time, slid up, revealing a large room with suspended walkways- and some kind of blue pillar of light right in the center where they all met.

He paused in the doorway.

There was someone standing in front of the light, but it was hard to make them out. Any and all distinguishing features were blurred in shadow, and their back was turned to him. He had an idle thought that he should be suspicious. Cautious. But it was quickly swept away in the haze.

...Where...were his brothers?

He froze midstep, the cloud in his mind receding and bringing everything into sharp focus. The chill of the metal underneath his feet, the soft hum of energy coming from the blue light, even how standing felt a little different in this strange place- a slight, split second weightlessness with each movement that he doubted most would even notice. He supposed he had ninja training to thank for that.

Wait, no. He needed to focus. His brothers. Where were his brothers? What did he remember?

They...had fallen asleep? Yeah. They'd fallen asleep watching a movie, none of them really wanting to be apart after being split for so long. He'd made sure that Usagi sat next to Leo on the couch- Casey taking up the other side -before Raph had all but dragged him to sit between him and Donnie, the three of them leaning against Leatherhead. The heated blanket Donnie'd brought over felt nice on his still achy body, and for the first time in over a day he finally felt completely safe and relaxed. He remembered seeing the opening credits but...nothing after that.

So...did that mean he was dreaming?

He looked around the room again, going to the edge of the walkway and shuddering when he saw nothing but darkness going down. Doubling back to the hallway gave similar results, as the way he'd come from was now pitch black.

Definitely a dream, then.

It was really weird to actually know he was dreaming this time, though. He was pretty sure there was a word for knowing you were dreaming and being able to do stuff in your dream- Donnie had done research on everything sleep related when Leo kept nagging him about staying up so late, and watching him present it all like it was some kind of court case had been pretty funny- but he couldn't remember what it was. He also couldn't remember if it was easy wake up from these kinds of dreams. Was there something he was supposed to do?

His gaze drifted back to the light pillar.

Despite everything being clearer, the figure was still just as shadowed and hazy as before. It hadn't moved at all since he'd arrived, which was waving all kinds of red flags in his brain now that he knew he was dreaming. He looked around again, hoping he'd find something other than approaching it that would get him out of here. When he didn't, he swallowed nervously.

It was just a dream, he reminded himself as he stepped closer. He couldn't get hurt in dreams.

...Right?

He was right behind it now. All he had to do was reach out or say something, but he found himself stuck, his heart racing in his chest.

Danger! DangerDangerDanger!

"Ah..." a deep, rough, and familiar voice suddenly cut through the silence. "I was wondering when you would arrive."

He pulled back, his heart jumping to his throat when he reached down to his belt and finally realized he didn't have his nunchucks. Still, he did his best not to show it as the figure slowly turned around, the haze fading to reveal gray armor and a spiked helmet.

The Shredder.

"What are you doing here?!" he asked. "The last thing I want to see in my dreams is your ugly mug!"

Shredder laughed, which was already super unsettling, but the worst part was the way it started to sound like two voices instead of one.

"Why, Michelangelo," he crooned (and, okay, that was super creepy). "Is that anyway to speak to your father?"

"M-My what?!"

But Shredder was already taking off his helmet, only instead of the hyper realistic human face of Oroku Saki they'd come to associate with the alien, he saw gray fur and glowing red eyes.

His breath froze in his lungs as pointed teeth spread out in a cruel smile.

"I found you, Little Ninja."

Sliver lunged, the sharp metal of the Shredder's claws gleaming as they aimed for his neck. He barely managed to dodge in time, ducking down and springing back up, using the momentum to kick him away.

Or, at least, that had been the plan.

His foot burst through with a sound that immediately had him pulling away and desperately trying not to be sick. Sliver fell to his hands and knees with a wet cough.

Mikey felt his heart stop as Master Splinter looked up at him, heartbroken and betrayed.

"M-My son...Why?"

"N-No! You were-! I-I-I didn't mean-! It wasn't you!"

What had he done?!

"Dad!" his voice broke as a sob tore its way out. He rushed to his side and caught him right as he collapsed, cradling him in his arms. "I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

But Master Splinter wasn't responding anymore. His eyes were cloudy and white as he stared lifelessly above. Mikey stared at him in mounting horror and denial, his breaths becoming quicker and quicker with each passing second.

He caught a glimpse of his hands, now red and slippery from slowly cooling blood...

And screamed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He snapped awake right before it happened.

One second he was sitting in the dark, nothing but quiet breathing to break the silence of the night, wondering what it was that had triggered his senses.

The next, Mikey was screaming like he was getting his arm broken all over again.

He was already shaking him as the others jolted up in panic.

"Michel-!" Leo began.

"He's havin' a nightmare!" he cut him off, even though he knew it wasn't going to make him worry any less. "C'mon, Mikey, wake up!"

Don sat on Mikey's other side, looking like he was trying to calm himself down as he stared blankly at the wall. Which sent a completely new jolt of concern shooting through him, but as much as he wanted to help both of them, waking Mikey up took more priority right now.

Just a bit, though. He made a note to talk to his brainiac brother about what was bothering him later.

It took a few seconds (each one felt like an eternity), but with one last cry, Mikey finally woke up. Even as he lay there panting, the silence felt thicker than before, ready to smother them at a moment's notice.

“My sons?” Master Splinter asked, joining them in their sort of living room. “What has happened? What’s wrong?”

The others were a bit too far away, and Donnie was too out of it, so he was the only one who noticed the way Mikey flinched at the sound of their father’s voice.

#Dragon of the Sun- fanfic #Of course we start the chapter with angst #But help is coming I promise #Big Bro Raph will make sure of it #Anyway I have to get ready for work so...#Later!

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olsenmyolsen · 11 months

Text

Olsen IV

Part 29 of On The Inside With Elizabeth Olsen

Word Count: ~6.5K

masterlist

TW: Hospitals and everything to do with them :) Blood.

MoM Spoilers!

Y/N POV

I wake up gasping for air from a nightmare I haven't had in nearly 8 months. As the cold sweat beats down my chest, I pad myself checking for any wires connected to my body. I sharply look around the bedroom, ensuring that there are no monitors, nurses, or IV drips.

Once I feel safe with my surroundings, I lay back down on the bed, trying my best to calm my breathing. With each breath I release, I faintly hear the beeps of the heart monitor from my nightmare. I do my best to shake the noise out of my head but to no avail. With a groan, I lift myself and locate my phone. Through the blinding light, I see the time is 3:39 am.

"Shit."

I drop my phone and move my exhausted body to the edge of the bed and let my feet hang. I look down at my chest and see that the sweat has seeped through my shirt. Knowing I won't be getting sleep anytime soon, I guess now is the best time for a shower. I cling to the bottom of my shirt and pull it off my body, letting it hit the floor. Soon after, my shorts and underwear join the pile.

Thankfully I know how to work the shower this time around.

Afraid to shut my eyes, I stare up at the ceiling as I let the droplets of water fall onto my body. The feeling each bead of water has on my body becomes deeper as I turn myself under the showerhead. I part my lips and let a satisfied sigh escape them as my breathing becomes regular again.

Doing what I came in here to do, I grab the loofa James bought for me, and my body wash and begin scrubbing the nightmare off of me. But- but why did it happen again? I run the loofa across my chest and down my side as I wonder what I've done wrong. I squeeze the loofa behind my shoulder, allowing the soap to slide down my back. Did I do something wrong? Is that why I- I had the nightmare again? I turn my back to the water, letting it wash me off. I'm too busy being caught up in my head that when I went to pick some sleep out of my eye, I forgot how covered in soap my hands were.

The stinging pain that followed was terrible.

But closing my eyes and being thrown right back into my nightmare was worse.

I'm lying in a hospital bed. Davey's hospital bed. I can feel the cool breeze around my shaved head. My arms and chest are hooked up to machines around me. Except I'm not hooked up like you usually would. Instead, each tube and patch is digging into my skin, forcing me to bleed. In addition to that, the monitors don't suggest much aside from the fact that there's no heartbeat detected. I flatlined. The ear-piercing monotone beep is alive in my ears. Every time I go to scream, I have no voice. I go to move; I find myself strapped down.

I'm quickly losing hope until they walk in.

A nurse opens the door with a group of people behind her.

But they stop at the doorway, and I watch as the smile on their faces crumbles. Behind the nurse is my mom, Max, and then a faceless brunette. One by one, each of them drops to their knees. I do my best to launch myself closer to them, but each effort leaves me pushing myself away.

And just before I wake up.

I hear Davey.

I don't remember turning off the shower, but I guess in my blind soap-filled haze, I did it. I'm glad I did. I would've felt like an asshole if I had flooded James' place because I collapsed in the tub.

The pain in my eyes is gone. All that's left is the redness surrounding my eyes and the cloudy thoughts in my head. Fuck. I groan at myself and feel incredibly frustrated that this happened to me. Why? Fucking why.

After sitting in the empty tub for a few minutes, my body starts to get cold, so not wanting to freeze any longer, I push myself upwards and out of the tub. My legs wobble before I find solid ground. I avoid looking in the mirror. A part of me is afraid of what I'll see, while the other part doesn't want to deal with anything right now.

I shuffle myself back into my room and collapse on the bed. Clothes are my last thought. I mean, be my hands around the bed until I find it—my phone. Looking up at the time, I see it's been a little over a half hour since I last checked. I sigh and pull the covers over myself. I'm not tired, just cold. I roll over and place the back of my head against the pillow. I'm staring at the ceiling, trying to let nothing bother my mind, but that doesn't last long.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

My phone comes to life. I lift my face to see a message from James. At this hour?

"Max just called me in a panic. Please call her when you see this."

I shut the messaging app and open my contacts. Scrolling until I land on: Mad ❤️‍🔥 Max

In an instant, I'm at the receiving end of a panicked "hello!" Followed by. "Y/N! What the hell happened!?"

"Me, what about you? What are you talking about? Are you okay? Your brother's text worried me."

"I'm fine! I was calling to make sure you're okay. I just saw some articles-" "What articles?!" I hear a big breath. "This first one says, 'former Olsen beaus spotted together looking strangely comfortable.' Y/N, what happened last night?"

I slap my hand against my forehead before collapsing on the bed. My worries about my friend slowly melt as I think back to last night.

I'll give you a ride." Robbie smiles. "Thanks. You'd be kind of a dick to leave me now." I lean forward. "But I still can." Robbie agrees and looks out the windows across the restaurant.

The smile he has drops.

"Oh shit."

"What?" I follow Robbie's eyes, and that's when I see them.

Paparazzi.

Robbie looks over to me, and that kind moment we were having between us is gone. The darks of Robbie's eyes become darker as it looks like he's thinking of a plan. Or he's just as pissed at what's happening. Or, like me, he knows a photo of the two of us together is the last thing we need right now.

Robbie stops a waiter walking past our table and explains the situation outside. The waiter looks out the windows before motioning for us to follow. We get up and walk into an employees-only section that leads to the kitchen. No one seems to pay us any attention as we weave our way through many white coats.

We hit a door that brings us outside. The warm California air touching my skin as Robbie thanks the waiter behind us. The waiter smiles and closes the door behind them as they retreat back inside.

"Well, so much for a relaxing night." Robbie scoffs into the air. I don't say anything, but I agree. Why can't the people with the cameras leave people like the Robbie, Liz, and Mary-Kate's alone? Like people don't need to know that Liz is ice cream while shopping at Whole Foods. But do I have that picture of her saved in my phone? Of course. It's cute and makes me smile. Anyways.

"Y/N?" I turn my body to Robbie. "Are you okay?" I nod, but Robbie can see how much the paparazzi are starting to affect me. "They fucking suck."

"Yeah, they do." Robbie chuckled as I let an air-filled laugh exit through my nose. "Where's your car?" I look down at the keys in my hand. Oh yeah. Where is James's car? I look around before remembering.

"Parked out front."

"Of course." I can tell what's going on in his mind because it's what's going on in mine. What bullshit headline is going to be blasted everywhere about the two of us? How will this affect.. whatever Liz and I have? How does Robbie feel? What will Max think? My friends?

"I'm sorry." I let slip out—Robbie moves to meet my eyes with confusion. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It's their fault. Now let's get to the car, huh?" Robbie doesn't want to dwell any longer, so we start walking around the side of the building to see paparazzi standing outside, waiting to capture their next victim.

Robbie leans over to me and begins going over what to say to them if they catch you. Liz had gone over this with me before, but I never had to deal with it. So I guess tonight is the night. Robbie and I start making out way to James's car, and to my surprise, no one cares. Well, no one cared until I went to unlock James's car but accidentally hit the alarm button, causing it to blast that annoying horn turning heads in the process. Before I could try and stop it, Robbie caught my attention.

"Get in the car now."

Well... We made it.

We're on the road with some soft music quietly playing in the background. Robbie's phone is routing us to his place. Well, technically, Liz's, but I'm not going to fight about it.

We left the restaurant parking lot, only getting about three pictures taken of us. I know that number because I counted the flashes of light that lit up the car as I pulled away.

It wasn't until we were streets down that Robbie and I realized I didn't know where I was going.

So now here I am driving Robbie home.

"I thought more about the song."

I quickly glance to my right before focusing back on the road. "Could you be any less specific?" I laugh as Robbie rolls his eyes. I assume.

"The song. 'I love leaving.'" (I love Leaving by Johnny Fritz)

"And?" I'm not getting any younger, Robbie. "What made you start writing it? I mean, are you basing it off your life, or is there a story behind it?" Robbie isn't pushing for a narrative. He's genuinely curious. I turn down what little music is playing in the background to let Robbie know I'm listening and thinking of what to say.

"I think everything I've ever written has come from me and my experiences. Having them made it easier for me."

"Hmm."

"But I will say." I take a glance at Robbie before turning my attention to the road. "It's nice to have someone to help you along the way. Whether that's bouncing ideas off one another or trying to make me better."

"So you love leaving?" I look next to me to see Robbie smiling away. "I'm here, aren't I?" I watch from the corner of my eye, Robbie nod. "What's your favorite line?"

"From the song?"

"Yeah."

I think back to what I've written and what lyrics Robbie has added in.

"I think it's I love meatballs but don't like spaghetti It makes me so tired, and I want to be ready I love being ready to go."

I turn the car as we pull onto a new road. "What about you?"

"I guess I love leaving Leaving without saying goodbye Leaving without telling anybody I'm going Quick as the blink of an eye."

I look to Robbie as he didn't sing the lyrics but rather gloomily mumbled them. However, when I look at him, he's looking out the car window.

"Have you thought about any of the other songs?"

Robbie clears his throat. "Yeah. I messed around with All Eyes On Me some more. Came up with an idea for another."

"Yeah?!" I reply, excited for Robbie. "Yeah! But we can talk more about it tomorrow." Robbie smiles at me, and I nod back, feeling a little shot down, but that's fine. Also, we're pulling up to a very friendly gated community. I roll down my window as we pull up to a box with a guard in it. Robbie leans over the center console of the car. "Hey, Matt!"

The guard, Matt, looks down into the car. "Hey, Mr. Arnett! I was wondering who was pulling up." The guard looks at me and back at Robbie. "Having a good night?" Robbie kindly asks. "Always. But I'll let you and your friend get going." Matt leans back into his box and opens the large gates to the neighborhood. I give Matt a smile as I go to drive, but Robbie stops me.

"Hey, Matt."

"Yeah?"

"I'd like to add my friend, Y/N, to the Guestbook." Ooh, the Guestbook, how fancy.

Matt smiles at the two of us before nodding his head. "Alright, Miss Y/N, could I see some ID?" I turn to Robbie, who nods, encouraging me to do so.

It takes a bit of fumbling, but I come up with my ID and hand it to Matt. I watch as he tried to hide a smile after looking at the picture on my license. God, it's one of the worse photos ever taken of me.

I'm not sure what he does with it, but he hands it back to me a leans down to talk to Robbie. "She'll be in the system tomorrow." I thank Matt with a smile before putting my ID away. "Thanks, Matt. Have a good night!"

"You too, Mr. Arnett!"

I roll my window back up and slowly start driving into this niccceeee looking neighborhood. "I kinda figured we'd meet here and do sessions and whatnot, but after tonight it just confirmed that it's best to do just that. So signing you into the Guestbook means you can come and go as you please."

"Okay. Thanks, Robbie."

Robbie doesn't answer me; instead, he points to a big modern white house. "There she is." My mouth drops at the sight, but I quickly pick it back up before Robbie-boy could see. I pull into the drive and park the car.

"Thanks again for the ride." Robbie sheepishly looks away. "It's no problem." I shrug. "Besides, like you said, I was coming here eventually."

"True." Robbie unbuckles himself and opens the car door but stopping before he steps out. "I can text Lizzie before the pictures go up. I don't want her to get the wrong impression about anything." Oh shit. I forgot. Fuck how is this going to look? How will Liz react? Before I can say anything, Robbie is getting through his "good night".

"I can text her."

"What?" Robbie's eyebrows launch up his head as he looks at me, confused.

"I'll text her."

"Y/N no." "Robbie-" "You haven't spoken in weeks. She doesn't even know you're here." "Rob-"

"I don't want this to become worse for you two."

"I saw her at the airport!"

Robbie's face drops as it did at the restaurant, but instead of anger, this time, it's shock. "Today. I saw her." Robbie leans back into the passenger seat. The look on his face slowly morphs back into a soft frown. But he isn't sad. At least, I don't think. "We ran into each other at the airport. We talked and talked. So yes, she knows I'm here, but she doesn't know why." Robbie doesn't say much but: "Okay, so what will you tell her."

"I'll just be honest, and I tell her I ran into you after having dinner with James and his family."

"Okay." Robbie nods his head now and moves to get out of the car. "So, see you here tomorrow at one?"

"Sounds good." I awkwardly throw a thumbs up, and Robbie laughs before walking to a house I can't wait to peer inside. Robbie opens the front door closing it behind him.

I'm not going to lie. I stared at the house for s few seconds before finally leaving. After stopping at the gates to go back out, I routed myself to James. On the drive, my mind becomes filled with all the different ways to text Liz.

I move the potted plant hiding James' spare key, and unlock the front door. I'm quick to set it down in the kitchen as I make my way to the guest bedroom. I discard the clothes I have on and grab a pair of bike shorts, a t-shirt, and a fresh pair of underwear before making my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face for the night. Once that is all done, I crawl up the bed and open my text messages between Liz and I.

Liz POV

I look to my left and see Aubrey calling someone, but it looks like they didn't pick up. "Damn it," Aubrey exclaims before calling them again. "Who is it?" Aubrey smiles at me before I hear a faint "hello!?"

Next thing I know, Aubrey's phone is shoved into the side of my face, and I'm left wondering what the hell is happening.

"Hello? Who is this?!"

The voice on the other line I instantly recognize. I hastily look over to Aubrey, who is in her own little world. She's crazy, but I love her.

"Mary-Kate," I reply with little hesitation. The breathing on the other end stops.

"Lizzie? Are you okay?"

I smile down the phone, hearing the protective older sister come out. Instead of the bitchy harsh sister that was a cause of me being a problem. "I'm fine. I didn-"

"Where are you calling from?"

"Aubrey's phone. She called you and forced the phone into my hand." MK doesn't respond, making me think the call dropped. "So what do you want?" Nope there she is. "I want to apologize-" I get cut off by a fake laugh. I lift the phone away from my ear and look over at Aubrey, who darts her eyes away, but I see the smile she has. She loves seeing people put in awkward situations. Once the laughter dies down, I continue. "I'm being serious, Mary-Kate."

Aubrey gets herself off the couch and leaves the room. Is she taking my phone?

"What, seeing Y/N made you realize what a complete bitch you've been?" Okay, harsh but fair. "It helped," I reply honestly to her. "Look, MK. I know what I did was totally uncalled for and one of the bitchest things I've ever done, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Seeing your face crushed by my words again and again didn't make me feel anything besides hurt for you. Hurt that I caused. I'm really sorry. You had every right to do what you and to say what you said to me that night." I stop and wait for her to say anything, but she doesn't. "Mary-Kate. I love you. You're my big sister. You've pulled me through so many times in life where I've failed you in yours. You've given me the best advice anyone has ever given me, and above all that, you're one of the greatest role models I've could ever be given. I love you, and I'm sorry."

The line goes quiet again until I hear MK sniffling. "I really want to not accept this apology right now, but fuck, you had to make it so good. I hate you." MK's voice breaks into a laugh-filled cry. "I love you, Lizzie. Just next time, stop and think." I laugh along with her as I sniff the tears away. "You owe me a new mug, by the way. I was so pissed at you that I ruined the one Trent got me."

"Don't worry. I'll get you one for your birthday." MK laughs. "What are you doing for it, by the way? Have you and Ash made plans?"

"No. We haven't. We've been focused on a fall spread we're doing. Oh shit!"

"What?"

"I'm out with a friend, and this phone call made me forget." I laugh as I hear MK shuffling over the phone. "Okay, well, I'll let you go then."

"Okay, Lizzie."

"I love you. I'm sorry."

"I know. I love you too. Just- just don't blow it this time. Please, Lizzie."

I nod along, knowing what MK is referring to. "I know. I won't." I move the phone away from my face and end the call. I breathe a sigh of relief and set Aubrey's phone down next to me. She still hasn't come back yet. "Aubs?" I call out, earning no response. I swear, if she's doing what I think she's doing... "Aubrey?" I get up from her couch and start searching for the chaotic tornado she is. "Aubs!" I get closer to the guest room where my bags are and start to laugh. Well, from Aubrey. I open the door and see my friend laid out on the bed, FaceTiming someone!

"Oh, speak of the devil. Here she is!"

Aubrey turns the phone towards me, and I see my best friend Clay smiling away! "Hey, Bitch! I really had to find out from this one that you're back!?" I roll my eyes and snatch the phone from Aubrey's hand. "I've had a lot going on, Clay. I'm sorry. I promise we'll hang out soon."

Clay dramatically acts like this is the worst news ever and proceeds to scold me about not staying with him or allowing Robbie to continue to live at my place with my plants. It gets to a point where I know he's joking, but I just want to go back downstairs and drink wine and let my mind turn off. Aubrey notices this and grabs the phone from me. "Okay, Clayton! You guys can see each other soon and gossip about whoever the hell you want, but tonight it's Lizzie and I, and she's going now! Say bye Lizzie!" She once again turns the phone towards me to show me Clay's shocked face, but it's Aubrey, so let's be real here. His face makes me laugh while Aubrey chuckles from behind the camera. "Bye, Lizzie!" I say just as my friend wanted me to, earning a loud sigh. Once goodbyes are done, and the call ends, my phone is being placed back in my hand.

"So, how'd the call go?" I scoot up the bed and sit next to Aubrey. My head leans onto her shoulder. "It was good. Thank you."

"I had to do something, or you've kept at it all night." She's right. "But I'm glad it worked. I hate seeing you down, and knowing you were fighting with your sister was worse. What was it even about? Y/N?" I nod. "I took misplaced anger and regret and screamed it at her."

Aubrey doesn't add anything to the conversation. I think she's just allowing me to process the past hour, days, and weeks.

After a while, Aubrey does eventually speak up. "Ready to go back downstairs?" She lifts her body, causing me to lose my headrest. "If you're not ready, we could break in this bed. I haven't had quite the chance.." Aubrey gazes her eyes to mine, and I notice the change in them. "Would you want that Lizzie Bear?" Aubrey husks out. I also notice the movement in which they go from my eyes to my lips and back up. I open my mouth but find it dried out thanks to this sudden change. It's not until Aubrey smirks and laughs in my face that I feel a weight lift off my chest.

Fuck me. I mean, no, not like that.

"I had you." Aubrey laughs again as she lifts herself up and off the bed. After a few seconds, I embarrassingly follow. "You're an idiot Aubrey." Aubrey turns back to me, hurt, as we leave the room. "That's not true. I'm YOUR idiot." I roll my eyes as I make sure to pour myself a large glass of wine after the events that just transpired. "Seriously though, I had you, right? Did it have you thinking of any memories?" Aubrey wiggles her eyebrows, and yes, it maybe did, but she can't know. So I use my best acting skill and bald-faced lie to her. "Not in your wildest dreams, Plaza." She pouts, but from the smirk I see behind her glass, we both know the truth.

I'm about to pick up the remote and let the night fully relax me when my phone buzzes. I tilt my head at the contact that pops up. Paul B. 🤖 What he sends me makes me gasp.

"Aubrey." I turn the phone towards her as she looks at the phone and then me. "Lizzie."

This bitch.

"Did you seriously text Paul asking if they put paint on his dick and how much and if there was proof?!" From my phone!! YOU DIDN'T EVEN SAY IT WAS FROM YOU!" HE THINKS I ASKED!"

For the record. I'm not actually mad. I'm more merely annoyed that she actually asked my friend Paul.

AND ASKED FOR PROOF!

"Well, what did he say?" I collapse into the couch and toss my phone to Aubrey. She reads off the text he sent back. "Hey, Lizzie. Nice to hear from you. I'm not sure of the reason for this text, but I'll provide you with some answers. No, they don't paint "it." No, there is no proof, and I'm going to assume this was a joke text from an interview or something, so I'll be on the lookout for that. Anyways love you and hope you are well."

"I'm disappointed." Aubrey sighs, tossing my phone back into my lap, and picks up her wine glass. I look at her and see the smile on her lips that part for that red liquid to slide down. "I can't believe you." Aubrey turns to me and laughs. "You're literally talking to the same person that created a fake identity so I could play basketball. Come on, Lizzie. If I wanted to ask Paul Bettany for paint-covered dick pics, I'll do it." Aubrey shrugs as I sit up onto the couch. In times like this, it's nice to know how much of a real friend Aubrey is. No matter how insane she can be.

"So, what do we want to watch tonight?" I shrug. "Nothing I'm in, please." Aubrey whines and thankfully skips over anything with me. We keep flipping through movies, landing on the Rom-Com category. I should do those more. I think I'm hilarious. And hot. Why not, right?

"What's it like working for Marvel?" I turn to the woman who has interrupted my thoughts. "I mean, I know I've asked you before, but.. have your thoughts changed?"

"I think I've been given a wonderful opportunity, and while I've had to turn down other roles to continue to play Wanda, I don't think I'd change anything about it. I love it. Plus, I've met so many amazing and talented people."

"You know you're not in an interview, right?"

I slap Aubrey's arm. "Clearly. Next time I'll just say 'It's great!' since that's what you want. Why are you asking anyways?" Aubrey rubs her arm that I slapped and shakes her head. "Just thinking about if I'd want to do something like that." I nod. "Well, if I'm ever back, I'll be sure to ask around for you! Or maybe I contact someone, but I don't know." I smile at Aubrey before turning my attention back to the TV. "Lizzie?"

"Hmm." I notice Aubrey has stopped scrolling. "Lizzie." Aubrey has a particular look and smirk on her face that concerns me. "What?"

"You just said 'if I'm ever back'!" My eyes go wide with the sudden realization. Oh shit. I can't pull a Holland! Damn this wine! "Lizzie, do you die?!" I immediately cover up Aubrey's mouth with my hand. "No, shut up. You know nothing! I know nothing. I don't know what you're talking about!" Aubrey begins to laugh, making me move my hand. I keep watching her laugh away.

It takes Aubrey a bit to calm down, but once she does and agrees that she knows nothing, we finally begin to watch 13 going on 30.

We're about 30 minutes in when one of our phones starts buzzing. I groan as Aubrey pauses the movie. I throw the blanket off the two of us and search the couch.

"It's mine." I hold it up and flip it over.

Oh.

"Aubs. Am I drunk, or does this say what I think it says?" I turn the phone over and sit down next to Aubrey. Pulling the blanket over us again, Aubs takes my phone. "It says what you think it says.." I look over her shoulder as we both re-read the message.

And the one after that.

And the next one.

Y/N POV

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't come up with the right words that wouldn't make it sound like I was lying or hiding something.

Don't fault me. I tried and tried, but I couldn't just say, "hey, Liz, it was really great seeing you today! Anyways I went out to dinner with James and his family and ran into Robbie, and paparazzi saw us, and there's going to be photos of us everywhere tomorrow but don't worry!"

Shit. I guess I could've done just that.

Fuck.

I roll back over on the bed and pick up my phone. I type what I just thought up, and I'm about to hit the send button when I stop myself.

I groan and fumble with my phone before finally hitting the send button multiple times.

Hey Liz! ☺️ It was great to see you today!

Soooo I just wanted to hit you up and let you know that There's going to be photos of Robbie and I tomorrow I went out with James and his family and ran into Robbie I promise you it was just a friendly chat I just wanted to let you know

Just because i asked for time doesn't mean I- I don't want to be any less open or honest.

I'm still looking forward to reading your interview 🤍

See you soon.

I sigh as I hit send multiple times. What a weird situation to be in. And I'm not even lying about anything! Ughhh. I let my fingers do some more talking before feeling the stress begin to take a hold of me, so I put my phone onto its charger and call it a night.

So an hour has gone by, and my mind won't turn off.

I flip my phone over and still have heard nothing back from Liz.

She saw all the texts but hasn't responded.

I debate on whether calling her or Robbie would make the situation better but instead, I pass out at some point in the night. I think the stress of the day finally overtook me.

"Fuck the paparazzi! Can't they leave you the fuck alone?"

Max gets it.

"I wish. I think Robbie and his team are going to try and take care of this, but at this point, there is only one person's opinion that matters." I turn my body in the bed and try to get comfortable again.

"Hmm. Y/N, can we back up a bit and tell me again how you ran into Olsen?"

I barely scratched the surface earlier when I was retelling the events of the night to Max. But I might as well explain how Liz and I are. And where we want to go.

After doing so, Max hits me with a "I'm proud of you for standing your ground. Past you wouldn't have." I let out a deep sigh knowing if I would've been with Naomi, I would've caved and crawled back to that she-devil. "Thank you."

Max chuckles at my monotone voice and asks me another question. "So be honest. Did you like Andrea, or is she still annoying?" Okay, I see we're moving on from the topic of Elizabeth Olsen. "I think she's cool. I wouldn't say annoying. Why? What's up with her?" I can hear Max grumble over the phone. "I feel like she's always trying to be too friendly. It feels fake to me, and I don't know, maybe I'm a protective sister, but I just want what's best for James."

"I get that, but I promise you it didn't seem like she was fake or anything last night. She was nice." I know Max won't like that, but that's my opinion.

"Yeah, I guess." I roll my eyes. "Anygays, I gotta get into work. Let me know if Liz reaches out or if you and Robbie decide to have babies." My eyes shoot open in a mix of shock and laughter. This bitch.

"Fuck you."

"Love you too, bye!"

Max ends the call, and when I look at the time, I'm annoyed that it's past 5am and that my body is no longer tired.

I scoot my ass to the edge of the bed again and grab a fresh pair of underwear and my bike shorts from earlier. I get up and dig around in the bag until I find a sports bra and a t-shirt.

Today I'm going for a run. It's been a minute, and I need to do something to clear my head.

I slip on my shoes as I look over the clothes I have laid out on my bed for later. For when I go to Robbies.

It's not that much longer till I'm out the door.

Liz POV

"Lizzzzzie! Come on, Lizzie!"

I turn over to the side where the voice is coming from. I flutter my eyes open and come to see Aubrey standing above me. She has a smile and a glow on her face. She must've gone running or to the gym this morning. I roll my eyes away from Aubrey and try my best to go back to sleep.

But that fails once Aubs is ripping the covers off of me. I groan and curse at her, but that doesn't stop her plan.

And here I am.

Sitting across from Aubrey as we enjoy a home-cooked breakfast.

"Thank you once again, Aubrey. You didn't have to!" I say as I fling a couple of blueberries into my mouth. "I wanted to! You seemed a little distracted after the texts last night." I sigh and take a stab at Aubrey's waffles. She just laughs and lets me.

"Did you text her back?"

I shake my head no. Aubrey frowns a bit before taking a swig of her orange juice. "Why?"

"I think.. I don't know.. It's not that I don't trust her! I do. I completely do! I guess I was just stuck thinking about how she keeps getting pulled into a media storm every week. I hate it. It's all because of me." Aubrey looks at me, a little confused. "Look." I pull out my phone and click on a link to a video of Robbie and Y/N walking away from their table last night. "I get what you're saying. It does fucking suck, but at least that's the worst thing out of this situation." Aubrey starts piling up a stack of dirty plates. I start helping with glassware. "What do you mean?"

"I mean.." Aubrey gets up to start putting the dishes in the kitchen. "You got a text from Y/N being honest about what was depicted. Imagine if they didn't reach out at all. Or imagine if those wacko paparazzi were telling the truth. Ew!" I nod to every word she is saying and make a disgusted face at the thought of Y/N and Robbie actually together. Friends? Maybe. Anything past that. Never. "You're right." I agree with Aubrey as the conversation gets dropped.

After we took care of dishes and leftover food, Aubrey suggested having a nice shopping day.

I move my head in an "ehh" kinda way. I don't feel like going from store to store, and after thinking about it, some more, neither is Aubrey. We do debate for a bit before deciding on going to a market and bookstore shopping day. Much more my speed.

"Five minutes!"

Aubrey yells out as she passes by the guest room. I am currently in front of the mirror, deciding between a summer dress and birkenstocks or jeans and a blouse.

It takes a bit, but a summer dress is much more of the vibe for today.

I throw my dirty clothes into the hamper in the room and take a final look around to make sure I have everything with me. I stop when my eyes land on the case. Y/N's guitar case. I walk up to it and open it.

Every time I look at the guitar, I imagine Y/N struggling to show me how to strum the correct order of cords. Or my thoughts become occupied of Y/N being wrapped in her own writings that she forgets the outside world exists.

I leave the case open as I take a step away. I keep looking before I turn my body to look for my purse. "Come on, where is it?"

"Lizzie! It's almost 9!" Aubrey knocks on the door quietly, startling me. "You ready?" I lay out the extra contents in the guitar case before clasping it closed. "Yeah!" I call back as I lift myself and the case off the ground. I open the door to Aubrey looking cute and smiling. "You bringing that?" I laugh at how blunt she's being. "Yes. I figure we should drop it off now, and I need to check on my garden! So come on, let's go!" I move quickly to the front door as Aubs follows.

"Okay. Fine. But show me the garden again! Every time I see it's taking over." "Deal!"

"I invited Clay if that's cool? I thought it might be a better day for us all if Clay is there too!" I turn to Aubrey, shocked. "Yes. I love that!" She smiles as the trunk opens up. I lift it and place Y/N's guitar in it.

"Hey, wait!"

Aubrey POV

"What's up?" Lizzie and I climb into my car as the trunk locks. "You have Clay's number?" I shake my head. "I took it from your phone." Lizzie scoffs at me. "Just like with MK?" I chuckle as I put the car in drive. "Yep!"

"Stop being so sneaky, Plaza!" Lizzie rolls her eyes as she grabs the car's AUX. I smile at Olsen before spilling my eyes to the road.

Oh, and before you ask. Yes, I made sure to take Y/N's number. You never know when it might come in handy!

"So when do you want to go drop off the guitar?"

Lizzie shrugs next to me. "We can do it sometime in the afternoon." Lizzie looks back down at her phone. "Okay. Be sure to text Y/N back."

Lizzie clicks on a playlist we put together years ago and blushes.

"I just did."

A/N: Kinda feel like this chapter is boring and not good but 😅 Love you all 💛

Part 30

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waywardstation · 1 year

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I don't post a lot about any of my writing or story bits about my characters often myself (if ever, im horribly shy about my writing skills ;w;), but the process I follow sounds similar to some of the others who have sent asks about the same thing to you!

Nothings linear when I plan or write things ever, it all comes randomly when it wants to show up I can never force it, the way it works for me is if I have the story or plot point I want to improve/add to in mind, I kinda just let my mind go on autopilot, to think, I don't think. I put my music on shuffle and if a song gets the right vibes, the idea builds off that to draw it out, and usually I imagine different scenarios and interactions with the song (its always very vauge like a mixing pot of potential) and just go about working or cleaning, even sleeping as I got good at lucid dreaming years ago, and THEN, the braincell connects juuuuust right and I get a whole dialouge session or a complete scene thought up that I hastily scribble down to just have the key words or lines to hold it there. I have notepads and mini sketchbooks everywheres with bits and pieces of story, lore or character creations in them. My poor phones note app needs to be sorted very badly XD

Another way I learned to get ideas or character development improved on is to talk/type it out to a friend that knows about the thing in question and just, type or talk! Half of any current ideas I've gotten lately have all been half formed until I had gone and typed up an entire wall to explain things, and as I'm doing so, more smaller pieces, or even HUGE pieces I didn't think of before become known all of a sudden that fit into place perfectly! It's just like Rubber Duck Debugging for people who type codes for software and websites. If something breaks or they can't find the issue they talk to a rubber duck to hear themself back and then that usually helps find the problem because they no longer have to see the code like they have been for god knows how long, they can hear it instead and they pick up on the bug that way!

Also just like Warden Anon, I too see everything you've written like a movie being played out in my head, it helps you describe your scenes and interactions very very well to be able to easily visualize what your portraying! XD

Some folks can see what your writing just like it's a movie and some folks see it just as the script but still have that same understanding, or its just a haze. It's called Aphantasia! There was a trend going around about how clearly you can see an apple when you think about it with your eyes closed not too long ago!

What a thought process OP!! It’s so interesting to hear about; I’m simultaneously so similar but so different from that. I will listen to music as well (it has to be instrumental though, no words and very quiet. I have tinnitus, so it needs to be just enough to dull the ringing) and just sit down somewhere secluded; I can’t do other things like you do - though wow, you’re lucky you can lucid dream so easily!!

Talking can help so much too!! From getting help from beta readers, to publicly sharing concepts on this blog that others can help me walk through, it really does help a lot!! I should do it more, though - the rubber duck coding comparison is a good way to reemphasize why it’s so helpful!

And that’s so good to hear that my work can actually be visualized!! I can’t really visualize it myself ^^ I’m not quite sure I can articulate what it’s actually like to me, but it’s definitely not like a movie, or any clear visuals of any sort. I realized that when my brother brought up an aphantasia test, asking me to visualize an elephant a few years ago ^^ It’s interesting how brains work like that!!

Thanks for sharing OP!!! Loved hearing your thoughts and reading about what you shared!!

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dandelionsgrief · 2 months

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NO TIME TO DIE

The sun no longer existed in my life. Woe dipped fingers begged to entwine within its effulgence warmth, skin stretched white o’re war bitten bones as I reached for her; pearlescent tears marring my body and my soul. Frightful of the hymns of darkness, she kissed me goodbye, fading into a monochrome melancholy. ᅠ

My despair hits me, feeling like a kiss as it weaves into my teardrops. Rose guilt thorns are penetrating through my esophagus, taking oxygen from my jaded lungs. My tired lungs. I have fought a good fight up until now. I stopped breathing the minute I was born, and somehow I’ve survived without it. Oxygen has become a privilege and one I don’t deserve. I’m just a walking corpse developed by my harrowing agony, begging to be freed from my written tragedy.

My liquid melancholy is spilling from quivering lips as I dawdled through the dried foliage and every shade of midnight hue reflecting off every gravestone. Autumn’s threnody; her maple foliage and burgundy, gold strings bloom, adorning my pale skin that mitigated my wax sealed misery. Earthly lullabies and moon cries share my oleaceae, scented grief. It seeps into my bloodstream, ebbing and flowing like the cerulean seas of Poseidon.

There really hasn’t been a time where I haven’t been haunted by these lingering shadows of somnolent August. The month my parents died, and the month where 𝒔𝒉𝒆 appeared. Deep cinnamon rays begin to fulminate, awakening my demons that only awakened her. Her whispers caress against my fair hair follicles, reminding me that she will always be there. That 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 will always be there, prying inside me, waiting to sink her claws into my innocence.

❪ 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭. ❫

The pallid walls of the hospital room is where my tangerine dreams laid to rest. The doctor sitting across from me paints his notebook with his black inked pen that hold my symptoms of depression. My sheepskin blends in with the hospital gown, and only then do I realize how long I’ve been here. My fingertips grasp at the hems as my head throbs from red paroxysms, coming and going like hot flashes. The drips of morphine and flatlines can be heard in the corridor across from me as lifeless bodies move around the facility waiting for their escort of death. I can feel every goosebump spread throughout my body, head to toe, and yet I still find their soulless presence to be more comforting than this wannabe doctor. I sit restlessly on the chair as a gossamer haze conceals my disoriented face from an anorexic heart.

“ 𝓔lena, you seem to be doing better. In just a few weeks you’ll be ready to see the world again. Live your life as a normal college student. How does that sound? ”

I’m terrified. I’m not ready. She’s not gone yet, please, I can’t be free. She’s going to kill me.

“ Sounds… great, Doctor. Thank you! ”

I could hear my screams from the inside of my body beginning to gnaw at my flesh as a sign of torment. A sign to tell the truth, but truthfully I just wanted to get out of here. I’m tired of this veil that conceals my misery. I just want to find peace, but I believe I’ll never find it. Every moment of darkness has taught me to accept that I’ll always be a soul without a home, but this is no time to die, to give up. For the sake of my parents, I have to live.

❪ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 ❫

The weight of despair is pressed against my chest as seaweed strings coil around my sea kissed throat, restricting my vocal cords as I’m slowly being devoured by my own mind. I find myself becoming dazed as every second dawns.

“ P𝙤𝙤𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 E𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙖 … ” Katherine chimed, making my ear twitch with fear.

Please, Not again… no. shut up. shut up. 𝐬̵𝐡̵𝐮̵𝐭̵𝐮̵𝐩̵𝐬̵𝐡̵𝐮̵𝐭̵𝐮̵𝐩̵!

I’m darting through the graveyard, batting against the opaqueness that besieged the dirt covered walkway. I didn’t care which direction I was going, I just needed to get her out of my head even if it meant to drown in the nearby lake as messed up as that sounds, but at least I know if I’m buried beneath the sea, she will be silenced forever.

I am tangled between hell—bent and hell—sent, the crux of my heartstrings are languorously yet almost beauteously undone as she pulled on my threads, tugging and guiding me like the puppet I am. Much like Frankenstein’s beast, I’m stitched together from my tormenting aches and pulled apart by the hands of my creator as long as my grief lasts. She uses it against me like kryptonite.

“ It 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮. 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚, 𝙮𝙚𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩. ” Her words dripped like kerosine, burning every inch of my abdomen. I press my palm against my sternum as she has me against her morbid chokehold, suffocating me. My knees tremble as I fall against the wet plaque, my fingers desperately reaching for the sun again.

Another throbbing sensation blinds me, my orchid tears overflow from the waves of her torment. My ribs begin to splinter as my staccato core swells. 𝓚atherine’s tempestuous siren song has paralyzed me for the last time.

“ Your 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚. 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩. 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙄 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪. ”

She inhales my honeysuckle gloom while she hears me drowning in her scarlet filled threat. I unwillingly 𝐟𝐚𝐝𝐞 into her cavity of rage and revenge as she colors my eyes with what’s not there.

Now would be a good time to die.

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j-graysonlibrary · 2 months

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Heartbeats; Paradise Chapter 18

Title: Heartbeats; Paradise

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 112K

Genres: Psychological thriller, drama, sci-fi, LGBT+

Available on: Kobo and my website

Synopsis: Melvin Hardy and Kade Axel appear to be a match made in heaven. After a meet-cute in the rain, the two quickly find themselves in a burgeoning, wholesome relationship.

Yet, things feel…off. It isn’t the ghosts of their pasts that resurface to test the strength of their partnership—no—it’s something nebulous. Something indescribable. Melvin can’t put his finger on it but, the more time he spends with Kade, the more he starts to wonder what’s real and what’s pure fiction.

Full chapter 18 under the cut:

Chapter Eighteen:

There is some lingering pain coursing through me but it’s dull. Mostly, my jaw throbs occasionally and I can feel the start of a bruise against my stomach. It’ll be tender for a while, I’m sure of that.

I’m glad I didn’t wear my glasses—that’s one thought that greets me upon consciousness. I’d hate to lose another pair to Oswald’s apartment.

My eyes crack open and the first thing I see is a red haze. The light in the room is low, moody, and I can’t tell what time it is because the window is sealed shut. And not just with a blackout curtain but tinfoil is taped over the window and a curtain hangs over that. I can see the slight shimmer of the foil as it peeks out from behind the dark drapery.

A ceiling fan whirls at a steady pace over my head yet it barely circulates any air. The room is hot and stuffy so I’m almost grateful that I’m not wearing much clothing. Only my briefs, actually.

I’m not sure how that happened.

I attempt to pull myself up but my hands won’t budge. Cool metal is clasped around my wrists and secured to the bedpost. I don’t notice until now—until I try to move.

My brow furrows and I test the strength of the handcuffs. They feel high quality as if they’re the kind issued by police rather than the kind that can be bought at a sex shop. For a second I wonder where Oswald has gotten these from but I quickly decide that it’s unimportant. Perhaps, like his groceries, these also just appeared in his apartment.

The brain fog is still present but I’m able to think outside of it as well—I’m just not sure I’ll be able to speak my mind when Oz comes back. I can already see where the scene is going based off of the panic that’s unfolding in the other half of my brain.

I’m able to keep it well contained but I do peer in to see what I’m “supposed” to be thinking.

This bastard has me trapped!

Cuffed to a damn bed!

Of course he has something sleazy like handcuffs at the ready…

Just wait until I can break myself out of here. I’ll kill him this time—I swear. I was too lenient before but now…I can’t risk this kind of freak running loose, capable of hurting Kade. Even if it causes my love to hate me, I will end this man’s life.

I have to.

No, I really don’t, I think in the safe part of my head. I’m not sure what’s responsible for this impressively clean divide but I’m glad for it. I hope it’s due to my recent practice of spotting what thoughts are and aren’t mine. This way I can continue to keep part of myself alive even when the fog is fully sunk in.

I’m glad Oz found a way to keep me from going home though I worry we won’t be able to talk about much more at this rate. The foreboding that sits in my gut is letting me know this could all, very well, be fruitless.

I don’t want to feel that way and, in all honesty, I’d much rather be excited by the fact I’m currently handcuffed, almost naked, on Oswald’s bed. The opportunities there only seem like good ones but with the storm brewing in me, I know I’ll say a lot of what I don’t really mean.

The door creaks open and I turn my head to face it. The hall seems even darker than the room somehow and Oswald walks in at an agonizingly slow pace.

He shuts the door behind him, just as slow, and presses against it, sending a soft click through the room. It’s as if he’s trying to make as little sound as possible and I wonder if he thinks I’m still unconscious.

As he walks closer to me, I notice that his shirt is unbuttoned, displaying a strip of his body down the middle. The full muscles, forest of hair, and glint of sweat all rouse something in me but that’s immediately placed on the back burner.

“You’re awake,” Oswald says but not in a concerned or happy manner. Instead, his voice stretches out, almost in a purr.

I would like to question his tone but the control I have over my reaction is practically nonexistent. My arms jerk forward, bringing the handcuffs down on my wrists—metal biting into skin. “You bastard! I’ll kill you!”

Oz keeps the same expression though I can more easily make it out now. It’s as if he’s amused by what he sees in front of him. The lopsided smirk on his face reaches to even farther heights. “Oh? And how will you manage that, Melvin?”

Shit.

He’s being controlled too.

It’s got us both again.

This voice could make us do a lot of damage to each other if we don’t snap out of it. I can’t say that, of course, but I start to clench my muscles, attempting to wrest back ownership in some way or another.

“You—!”

My shout is silenced by Oz’s hand meeting my face in a loud slap. The force of it turns my head.

“Silence,” Oswald hisses before he leers over the top of me. His fingers clamp onto my jaw, holding me in place while he glares into my eyes. I glare right back as he says, “You and Kade want to make me the villain…so I’ll be the villain.”

He releases my face by throwing me to the other side. By the time I turn back to face him, he’s already a few feet away from the bed, pacing with his hands clasped behind his back like some cartoon villain. Though I suspect that’s the idea.

“I wanted to get Kade but, since he won’t come to me on his own, I’ll make him come.” Oz chuckles darkly at his own “plans”. He glances over at me and he smiles. “But, since you’re here and at my mercy…we should at least have a little fun first, right?”

“Fuck you!” I spit and start to struggle against my restraints again. All it’s doing is cutting into my flesh, stinging and bruising.

Oswald cackles (maniacally, if I can add) and rushes toward the bed all at once. He climbs on from the bottom, gripping my knees and spreading them apart with a devious glint in his eyes. “What will poor, sweet Kade think when he finds out you’ve been dirtied by me?”

I can’t help but feel as if Oz and I are being punished—specifically for our disobedience during what was supposed to be our big fight. Because we chose to fuck instead, this presence is forcing us to do so again but in a way she believes we won’t—or can’t—enjoy. It’s as if this setup is designed to ruin the feelings we have for one another or to make us feel sick for ever having those feelings in the first place.

While I can’t speak for Oswald, I can say that I don’t mind the direction things are headed. I hate that this brain fog is making me believe that I’m upset and I hate this presence insinuating what it is but I can’t lie and say I don’t want Oz to fuck me. He can even call me names when he does it—I might like that. It sure as hell beats Kade being in my position instead since I know he, for certain, would not consent to such a thing and for a myriad of reasons. If he were here, he’d be legitimately hurt by Oz.

That, I know, is something Oswald would hate as well. Not only would he not want to be with Kade like that but I can say with a degree of certainty that he’s a good man and he wouldn’t choose to hurt anyone. He could be forced into causing harm and, given the circumstances, I believe he would be but he definitely wouldn’t want to.

He’s probably worried this is something I don’t want. I notice a slight twitch in his eye as he hovers over me and I try to think of a way to signal to him that I’m fine—that I’m completely okay with what’s happening—without alerting the presence. It’s probably impossible but I’m willing to give it a shot.

We lock eyes and my predetermined words finally come out. “I swear…if you touch me…” I let that brain fog dictate whatever it wants me to say but I glance down at our bodies, my budding erection in particular and then I meet Oz’s eyes again. I put forth all of my effort into winking, clearly, to get my point across.

I can’t be sure if he’s gotten the message or not since he’s still very much in the thick of whatever this presence wants of him. “All these promises, Melvin…” Oswald sighs wistfully, “But I’m in control here. You may be used to pushing your way through life without a problem and I’m sure Kade bends to your every whim but not tonight. Tonight, you bend for me.”

“Even if you violate my body…” I seethe, “Kade owns my heart. You can’t destroy that…no matter how much you try.”

I’ve lost the plot a bit—although, as I already suspect, I do think this is all a simple and direct backlash for what Oz and I did during our last confrontation. In that context, all of this makes far more sense.

Oswald smirks and a dark shadow is cast over his eyes. He sinks down to my last remaining article of clothing and he slowly begins to peel it off me. It’s painstaking but I’m forced to grunt and kick my legs all throughout.

When my briefs are finally off and discarded onto the floor, I shut my eyes and twist my face in agony while yanking even harder at the handcuffs. I wish I could stop myself from doing that—at the very least—as I feel blood start to rise to the surface of the cuts. A droplet even starts to run down my arm, toward my elbow.

Oz’s hands on my bare thighs are gripping tightly as I would expect but his right hand suddenly goes soft and he rubs a thumb against my inner thigh. I can’t say for sure but I feel as though he’s letting me know that he’s still in there, somewhere, fighting this too. Or, perhaps, he’s attempting to apologize for what he’s being made to do.

His tongue along my member isn’t what I would have guessed would come next and it shocks me. I don’t think it’s what the presence expected either since the next words out my mouth are, “Get your fingers away from there!”

I almost laugh after I say it since I now know, without a doubt, that Oz is acting on his own. He’s still playing to the scene—probably hoping to fool the voice—but he’s in some form of control. Whether it’ll last is another beast entirely but, for now, he’s okay.

There is a hand that joins Oswald’s actions, now that I’ve said something about it, but it’s not doing more than resting below my shaft, cradling the soft flesh beneath. He takes me into his mouth and I have nothing to say—not even the brain fog manifests a single thought.

It’s a blissful moment of actual peace but, naturally, it doesn’t last for long.

I’m made to kick my legs and squirm—quite the dangerous gambit considering how much of me is currently compromised. Not only could Oswald bite down on my dick (though I know he wouldn’t) but he could easily crush my balls in his hand too.

Thankfully, Oz is able to hold me down with his other hand. He firmly grabs my hip and travels down, pinning my thigh to the bed while leaning part of the way on my opposite thigh with his body. It keeps me from kicking but also feels incredible and maddening.

I can’t move an inch and Oz won’t stop pleasuring me for anything. He’s barely given himself time to breathe and I almost feel exhausted for him. His tongue presses firmly against my tip each time his head rises, steadily bringing me closer and closer to release.

Again, there is little commotion in my mind. I almost think that I’ve been left alone as I cry out in ecstasy and spill over into Oz’s mouth.

I take deep, ragged breaths and my body remains still even when Oswald gets off of me. I feel the bed shift as he moves but I don’t realize he’s coming my way until he’s face to face with me. He doesn’t say a word but, instead, captures me in a kiss.

My lips part immediately and warm, salty mess seeps in. Oswald pushes it around with his tongue and I’m forced to swallow my own seed. Logically, it’s quite gross but I don’t find myself disgusted in the moment.

Oswald swipes his tongue over mine and then pulls back, licking against my bottom lip before asking, “Like how you taste?”

“You’re fucking sick,” I groan through my cracked voice.

He chuckles and licks across my cheek, forcing me to turn my head in disgust. I really had hoped the fog would stay gone but I suppose that was a little too optimistic on my part.

“If you think that’s sick, you’re more vanilla than I thought.” Oz shuffles back, returning his hands to my legs. This time he grips underneath my thighs and pushes them up, forcing my knees to my chest.

“Stop it,” I growl with clenched teeth. My hands ball into fists and I try, once more, to free myself by yanking against the cuffs. There are open wounds on my wrists now and the motion pulls a genuine grunt of pain out of me.

Oswald continues on, taking no notice of me or my faked objections. He runs his hands up the back sides of my thighs until he’s under my knees, grazing against the sensitive skin and making me shiver and twitch. My blood is already returning down south and my muscles are starting to clench in anticipation.

“I’ll stop when you scream my name in the throes in passion—when you forsake your pure love with Kade in favor of this low, filthy fucking that you think is beneath you.” Oz grips my knees with a bruising force. “Until I’ve fully corrupted you, I won’t stop.”

I’m already corrupted if that’s the criteria but, as I already know, I can’t say that. I do think it though and I also wonder about this intrusive observer and their view on this “type” of sex. Really, Oz hasn’t done anything I would consider outrageous.

Some things certain people wouldn’t be comfortable with, sure, but nothing that’s all that extreme.

Maybe I would have thought different months ago if I had the actions described to me and was asked my honest opinion. But those thoughts wouldn’t have necessarily been mine either.

I used to view the obscure memories with Gladis as impure and dirty and not on account of her being a predator. It was about the way she and I had sex so I’m more certain now than ever that those thoughts were just this presence’s views invading my head. They seem to look at anything outside of soft and gentle lovemaking as shameful.

But who’s ashamed?

I am no longer shackled to those beliefs and I reject them, even as I’m forced to scream out at Oz and contradict my real feelings. He rams into me and I respond in a string of curses and insults but none of it is real.

#heartbeats paradise #my novel #my writing

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