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thistlekiss · 8 months

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#l o l decided to go w my parents tuesday bc theyre going to see sibling #and apparently my dad approached mum and said he didnt want me to go w them bc they live w me and want one on one time w sibling #and then forced mum to tell me #so now i get to manage my own hurts and my parents fucking great #triggered my goldenchild/scapegoat trauma so now i get to fight through that and the hurt of 'we dont want you around' and the hurt of my #parents never spending deliberate time with me like they do and always have with my sister(which is the golden child thing i guess)#and also them neglecting my disabilities with the 'you can visit sibling another day just the two of you' shit #at least i told mum she's going to annoy me if she keeps apologising #shes not apologising bc she means it shes apologising bc she feels guilty and wants me to keep reassuring her #christ i'm tired #i wish i could move out #christ i wish i could afford to move to another state #ngl really didnt need this atm already dealing with RSD from a friend living in survival mode not being able to hang out and being more #isolated than usual #and my dads queerphobia getting worse and worse #if i didnt think sibling would also off themself if i did id be so fucking done

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hella1975 · 8 months

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my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be

me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha

#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience #basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night #where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything #it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young #and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again #but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good #and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get #it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough #and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced #i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up #and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it #and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN #TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY #and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it #im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday #what is even going on anymore #also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do #actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk #and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd #i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3 #hella goes home

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oceanmonsters · 4 months

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no 1 thing I hate is when ppl are like “I/my kids never had the option of being a picky eater because it was either eat what the parents cooked or go to bed hungry ☺️” like I hate to break it to you but if you would choose eating the food you disliked over being hungry you were never that much of a picky eater to begin with

#like as a kid I would fully just go hungry if I had to #or eat like the bare minimum I could #people pulled this shit on my mum all the time and she wouldn’t have the energy to explain to them that that would not work on me because I #would simply not eat and she wasn’t going to let me be malnourished just so she could brag about not giving in to her kid’s pickiness #I’m actually a super adventurous eater now and people are surprised when I tell them I was a picky eater as a kid! even a childhood friend #was surprised when I brought it up recently #and it’s not because I was forced into eating stuff I didn’t like it’s because I was able to choose to explore food and discover the foods #i liked!

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bahoreal · 8 months

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im gonna go off on one in the tags pls enjoy

#ive been going by jay online since i was 13 irl since i was 15/16 and my mum cant get used to it #me my friend and both our mums hung out last week and i heard my mum telling his mum 'i just cant get used to [their] name. they want to be #called /jay/ but i just cant do it' literally everyone else including my brother and my dad uses my chosen name #apart from when theyre around my mother! because her force of disgust is definitely more important than my agency and want to be called by #my own name... i have been thinking about wanting to be called another name like. interchangably with my name #and i think id go with yasha. its the diminutive of jay so like. if we friends i want to be yasha x #but also realising how much i want to have autonomy over my name came from picking a name in 2021 for practise in chinese #and my friend helping me decide between something that sounds similar (林植 cos the first character kinda sounds like my eng surname) and a #more literal translation where i was like the translation of jay is 松鸦 i could use that haha and she went but the 鸦 character is awful #you could be 松雅! its then a pun and makes me sound fancy. and i was so happy just making choices and getting to like #pick my own name that peoplw could use. really a revelation. anyway i was kinda on hold for a bit living at home but now im freer hearing #her go on that 'jays choice of name is so hard on me' rant really made me..... start thinking and reminiscing about my name. and me. u know #jay wasnt even my choice its just my initials that i started going by as like. plausible deniability that i wanted to change my name #i remember thinking more about it when i was younger and deciding against other names Specifically because it would be easier to go #'its just my initials!' yeah. im 25 is it too late to change names #sorry for long rambly disjointed rant. hope this was enlightening if u made it this far

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termagax · 9 months

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having a comic idea in my brain but i dont wanna get up and sketch it but i cant write it in the way i want to because i am cursed to think in pictures but i cant. draw it rn.

#OH WELL. i just wanna know what their story mode journal entries would be like and i have some ideas #fish resents the entire concept of being forced to keep some kind of log and mostly uses it to complain about shit. l dear dumb diary #type shit like dear my stupid fucking diary that my stupid fucking boss is making me do. but they do actually do it because they cant bring #themselves to be mean to winston they just do it mad the whole time #they try to bother the boys into showing hir theirs and i think junkrats using his like a sketchbook to do little doodles instead of #actually writing anything and people just let him. maybe he lies and tells mercy he cant read so command just lets him get away w it #in my mind theres a tangential conversation where he has a lot of doodles of sojourn doing cool stuff and fish points out that he knows a #lot about overwatch and hes like yeah? i watched the old broadcasts as a kid. and theyre like ??????? how did you get a fucking tv in the #wasteland. and hes like OH well my mum was real handy where do you think i get my brilliance from. in my mind his mom was a tinkerer and a #fairly compassionate and decent woman who kind of taught him some of the basics before she died sometime when he was a kid/tween #anyways then they notice roadhog is spending a weirdly long time writing his and he wont show it to them so they just fucking wrassle it #away from him. i cant decide the funniest thing to be on there between genuinely journaling with a lot of emotion or hes writing some #shitty original novel or something. like brigs poetry where its just really bad but very earnest.

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ketavinsky · 2 months

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i just want to be able to forgive her

#dellete #tw for discussion of SA + forced pregnancy in tags #the fact that im a product of SA doesnt really surprise me #i wish she hadnt told me like she had. like a GOTCHA! so she could win the argument that #she started and that i kept telling her i didnt want to have #i just want to be able to forgive her. for everything.#for all the shit when we lived together and for refusing to acknowledge any of it when i moved out #i just want to be able to forgive her #i miss my dad so much. despite everything i do. he was good to me. he begged for my forgiveness. my artwork and all my writing is all #dedicated to and inspired by him #hes an old man and he might die soon and i wont be able to thank him for any of it because my mother will probably attempt suicide if i try #to contact him #so ill never have much of a relationship with my dad #and ill never have a relationship with my mum because of what she did to me #and i know it takes practice and time and effort #but making friends is a real challenge for me sometimes #and im so lonely. im so lonely and i miss how it was to be a kid #to feel like i belonged somewhere or something like that #like i could make for myself a place in the world #when my dad dies my artwork will have been for nothing. and i want to forgive my mum #i want to go home. i want to go home to the place i grew up in #and i know she refuses to sell that house eventhough its a huge financial drain because she doesnt want to let go of th #the memory when i was a kid and not such a fucking disappointment #and i want so badly. to be the kid i used to be #i want to forgive her. i want to pretend that she didnt #reveal to me that neither she nor my father ever wanted me for no other reason than to make me feel bad #for setting boundaries #i want to forgive i want to forget #i want to forget #i just want to forget why cant i forget

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mjn-air · 1 year

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#that's it i'm officially breaking apart #yes hi this is just me freezing my ass of the entire winter and today it's sunny and fairly warm outside but my appartment is still freezin #and I'm sitting in a cold room and my hands are so cold I'm waering fingerless gloves all day #and my mum came over earlier #and yes I turn on the heating when she's here bc I don't want her to worry #she's like martin's mum you know #and she was still cold #and for some reason she went into a room that I'm currently barely using bc I keep staying in one room that I heat - or better said barely #and she turned on the heating full force in that unused room #and didn't tell me #the heating has been blasting for hours over there while I'm in the kitchen shivering to save money #I feel so damn stupid #and idk sometimes it just makes me feel so alone #so sorry for oversharing but I literally have no other place to put this

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autistic-katara · 8 months

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why did my dysphoria have to choose right now to get rlly bad-

#i have fucking swimming lessons in like an hour where due to my fucking mother being there the gendered stuff is gonna be 10x worse #honest to god if i’m forced to use the womens changing room i will run into a busy road #god i fucking hate my mum nd her casual transphobia #like she’ll call me ryan (if i’m there + she’s not talking to my friend’s terf mum or my grandma)#but honest to god everything else is just-#like she uses she/they pronouns on me nd ALWAYS looks in the women’s section when sending my links for clothes #(even for shit like a t-shirt)#when i mentioned wanting to medically transition in the future she went all “noooo ur gonna ruin ur body for nothing !!”#and i think my grandma told her i used the mens bathroom that one time #bcz a couple weeks ago when she was telling me abt bathrooms at this place she was like #“and they have a gn toilet too but PLEASW don’t use the mens bathroom ok 🥺🥺🥺”#(i did later out of spite)#(also bcz i needed the toilet but yk)#and that’s not even mentioning what had to happen for her to change from [deadname] she/her to ryan she/they #and even then theres more that i can’t completely remember rn it’s just so fucking infuriating #stg one day i’m gonna yell at her (over text bcz i hate confrontation-) abt alla this nd block her but that’ll have to wait until i’m older #anyways yeah fuck everything i just wanna see my friend bro when r u free-#cw dysphoria #cw transphobia #trans #ig this is a vent-#as always feel free to rb idc #ryan shut the fuck up

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gunkbaby · 1 year

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it’s mother’s day

🤢🤢🤢

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aw-bean-s · 1 year

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Gotta say as someone whos been out since they were young, I'm really sick of having to defend the existence of queer people in media and explain how it's 'useful' or 'plot important' when straight ppl i know can like whatever trashy het romance they want no questions. Like does it have to be useful? Can it not just be there? It doesn't 'cheapen' anything its just there and suddenly you have to fight for your life to explain why it should get to exist. And it's always the bloody 'pandering' 'it's a trend' argument and I hate it because is it so terrible if they pander to ME for once instead of you?? Is that so terrible?? But you can't say that because then you're a fool who doesn't understand good storytelling. And then if they're real annoying, they'll pull the 'well i don't like when ANY romance is just pushed in' so then why. Is it always queer stuff you're complaining about?? And then I'm forced to be defending a (honestly poorly written) queer romance because all I said was that it couldve been handled better and somehow to straight ppl that translate to 'yeah they shouldn't have done it at all' and they don't even REALISE their bias and that SOMEHOW the ONLY FUCKING TIME we have this arguement it's about a queer character. Can I not enjoy the fact a superhero I like is bisexual while also admitting I don't like how they flattened their character after it? Can I not say 'yeah it's trashy but theyre cute' to some crap TV show? Does it always have to be perfect? Because yeah. I want good shows. I want complex dynamics. But sometimes it just feels nice when the silly comic book character is bisexual. And these motherfuckers will ALWAYS find some way to argue that it wasn't relevant and therefore they shouldn't have come out at all, which is just another way of saying that queerness should be kept away from the things they like and only be included if 'plot relevant' so then they can avoid it. I'm just so tired, so so fucking tired, of having the same argument over. And over. And over again with the same people about the same things when all I wanted to do was talk about a bisexual character WITHOUT some asshole jumping down my throat. I've been doing this shit since I was 12 and I'm just tired. Christ.

#'forced' my ass #If you can't tell i made the mistake of talking about comics to my dad #He's not like. Homophobic. He's just dumb and has internal biases he does not care to check unless he's drunk #And unfortunately I caught him before he opened the whiskey while he was still on beer :/ my mistake honestly #Also I know that it sounds like I go out of my way to pick fights (according to dad anyway) but I really dont #All I fucking said was 'yeah I like that they're bisexual but i don't like that they flattened their character afterwards'#'it's like they decided being bisexual and in a relationship was enough of a substitute for personality'#Which yeah I should have seen that coming but I wasn't wrong #Unfortunately he took it to mean that being bisexual is what ruined it and had no idea a character could be well written AND bisexual #When its not the bisexuality it's the writing and also! Entirely my own opinion! Other ppl think differently to me!#Just sucks when he's my dad and I have to make a compelling argument for why people like me should get to exist in fiction at all #Fuck that though I'm gonna write some big story and they're all gonna come out as bisexual for no reason just out of spite #Just one by one everyone becomes bisexual and what can he do? Complain about it?#Because mum would tear him a new asshole if he tried that shit in front of her #Anyway. Yeah. Probs was my fault because I shouldn't have mentioned the bi thing #I was just happy about it even if it wasn't up to my standards #It was silly of me. I might not have picked a fight deliberately but it was my fault #It's just frustrating because every 'plot important' bisexual is some seductress who swings both ways for their own benefit #There's no variety but it's the ONLY type of bisexual I haven't heard ppl complain about #Vent #Sorry abt this I'm just tired and angry and bisexual #(said like that isn't my default state)

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caruliaa · 1 year

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btw being annoying abt this thing that happened almost a week ago at this point bc had no tumblr then but i remember at one point when we were with our cousins and kinda just chatting and hanging out nd stuff my sibling just like. was repeatedly like being mean and insulting me for the most minor things and like it was rude but didnt rly hurt that much it was j whatever yk but they kept doing this but i was mostly like whatever even though they were being pretty mean nd at some point they were like "go walk of a cliff" and i was jokingly like "ill tell mum you said that" and then they were like "well you can tell that to her but i can tell her things too yk" basically threatening to out me or like. tell our parents about me having online friends and shit which is a pretty fucked thing to say and like. a completely inordinate reaction to me making a joke but we were around other ppl nd my i wasnt out to one of the cousins so i cldnt be like "hey what the fuck is wrong with you for threatening to out me over a joke" so i was just like "you kept insulting me and our cousins thats rude!" and then they got so sulky and was like "oh im not allowed to insult people but people are allowed to insult me?" even though that like. i never said that ?? and none of us were insulting them ??? and when i was like "i never said that its wrong for people to insult you too" they started talking about how im allowed to be annoying though and thats not fair when they cant insult me or whatever. hi.

#LIKE WHATS WRONG WITH THEM. HI.#like i think literally being sad becuase 'i cant insult people :(((' is ubsurd. like hi hello.#AND LIKE I LITERALLY GET JOKING BANTER AND BEING JOKINGLY RUDE BUT THEY WERE LEGIT BEING SO RUDE.#but also the insulting wasnt even that big of a thing i j pointed tht out bc its the only thing i cld say in that situation #the big thing was fucking threating to out me like. hello ??? what the actual hell is wrong with you ??#like. idk if i got the tone across right in this post but like. they were fully serious when they said that and like. ik it seems vauge #but istg they were fully alluding to either outing me; telling my parents about my online friends; or telling them that i do not like them #(using semicolons as commas there)#which is like. what the fuck is wrong with your threatening to do any of them considering the consequences to me #in hindsight i think they thought i was being serious abt the telling our mum abt what they said thing but like.#even fucking then thats not an appropriate reaction to that?? like ??#like the thing is if i had told our mother that she would have just been like “thats wrong you shouldnt say that!” and then we wld move on #but like. hiii if u told our parents the shit ur alluding to there it cld put me back into one of the worst places iv been in in my life #and ruin so much fucking shit for me and destroy my mental welbeing and force me to go through a major traumatic even again basically #like thats what wld happen to me as a result of how out parents react to that . nd if i did what i joked abt ud j get scolded once. hi #also the thing is theyre also fucking queer so they should fucking know better than to jokingly threaten to out me. wtf.#also we were hanging out today nd they threatened to stab me jokingly and i joked about calling 911 about being threatened #nd it was literally nothing. even though tihs ended up being a whole fucking fisaco. okay . also i didnt even enjoy hanging out w them #i wanted to be alone. but they were just in my room so i played this very boring for me game w them w playing the first sec of a song #hi. the moral of the story is the post w quotes abt how sibling relationships survive sooo much going around its true but its a negative #why do i deal with this. like spending time w them is sometimes fun but it is nott worth this i think. hi whats wrong w them #<- will prob change my mind on tht later tht post j kinda annoys me. when did we go back to the blood family is the most powerful thing bs #flappy rambles #ask to tag

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wondergirl · 2 years

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one thing about me is i may get fucked up

#.txt #my friend keeps telling me shit I did luckily it's stuff like saying bro bro bro I gotta text my mum I got home safe. before going to sleep #and being force fed fucking STICKY BBQ WINGS FLAVOURED CHIPS. <- I do not know how I let him put that shit anywhere near my mouth.#I also. lost my fucking septum somehow

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hella1975 · 9 months

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just full force threw a shoe at my sister's face and when my mum got me alone after she was like 'you shouldn't clobber her. but i get it' 😭

#it kicked off today but in my defence she's actually proper in the wrong this time even my DAD called her a bitch and my mum is FUMING #baso my sister came into my work with her mate when i was closing the other day and all the staff GLARED at them bc of aforementioned #close so i was being v chill so everyone 1) knew it was my sister and not some customer coming in late and 2) her friend wouldnt be uncomfy #like that's the real kicker her i was being extra laid back FOR her friend so he'd feel more at ease. and one thing about me is yes ive #said countless times i have a rural accent but my mum also raised me to know when and how to speak nice if need be bc people are cunts here #so when im waitressing i speak nicely bc it's a stuck up restaurant w stuck up customers but when im with my sister? making a point of #being laid back? my normal accent came through. and her mate when i was gone said i sounded 'really [from the county we live in]'#which WOULD NOT BE A COMPLIMENT. it's baso saying 'your sister sounds local and chavy' without using such explosive words #and my sister LET HIM SAY IT. SHE DIDNT DEFEND ME. and she told my mum about it later bc SHE THOUGHT SHE'D TELL ME OFF #LIKE SHE DID IT TO SNITCH. THERE WAS NO SCENARIO WHERE MY SISTER WASNT BEING A CUNT. and my mum hit the ROOF #one thing she's rlly been big on is loyalty bc it's always been the 3 of us so when she found out my sister let him say that she FLIPPED #and this all happened last night and i only found out this morning bc i overheard them screaming at each other and turns out my mum #tried to keep it from me bc she didnt want my feelings hurt and IM pissed bc it actually did hurt more than i thought it would #like i KNOW what people say about my accent but it's a guy i know? my sister's been friends w him for years? i was being nice?#it's EMBARRASSING like i was clueless & friendly and turned around for him to be like 'look at this stupid local girl' like??#and my sister did NOTHING? it just sucks so i STORMED upstairs when i found out and had it out with my sister #and she knew she was fucked so she did all 'im not talking to you i have nothing to say' AND PUT HER EARPHONES IN?#the way i RIPPED them out. got in her face like okay girl u think i sound like a chav ill act like a chav lets GO #and it just got really aggressive and i wound up grabbing HER OWN SANDAL and full force hurling it at her face 😭 oops #from close range too like i was already in her face so i basically just smacked her with a sandal DSHGJKSH #now we're sat in silence bc alas we still share a room. WHAT the fuck. insane tbh but it's a bit funny. im so angry rn i could KILL #hella goes home

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lovemeanslife · 2 months

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im so overwhelmed with embarrassment

#i went to a restaurant for a dinner with mom and dad ok #and my coordinator was there too #i was too hesitant to talk to him #but my mum kept forcing me and I JUST HATE IT when i tell her that i am not comfortable with something and yet she keeps forcing me I HATE #it became so fucking embarrassing and awkward she was literally yelling at me #and then when they were leaving by car SHE LITERALLY TOOK ME AND STOOD AT THE MAIN GATE and i had to wish him as he was leaving and #he saw us but didnt say anything AND IT WAS SO AWKWARD #i honestly just want to cry a river rn #my anxious overthinking self is SO not ok rn #idk what he must be thinking about me rn i will go and apologize to him the day of my psychology exam #i am so so overwhelmed man.#and all i want a is sincere apology from her and SHE HAS TO ALWAYS FUCKING VICTIMIZE HERSELF #god.#i just want to cry SO HARD #dni #vaseline°

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beneaththegildedmoon · 3 months

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Kind of pisses me off that nobody in charge of teaching us about the Equality Act ever elaborated on *why* marital status is a separate protected characteristic to sexual orientation/pregnancy/gender because in Ireland we literally only got rid of the marriage bar in the fucking 70s and so many people my age have no clue what it even is but then laugh about "why would anyone care if you're married?"

Like bestie that's in there for a fucking reason

#tell me you've never spoken to your mother about her career without telling me #“oh my mum was a SAHM out of choice”#bestie she was legally forced to stop working when she got married she didnt have a lot of other options

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a-freak-gasoline-fight-accident · 7 months

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being forced to go to a doctors appointment today bc my mum refuses to make the effort to unlearn her racism

#by forced i mean it's just easier to go along with it than to fight her on it #oh and my aunt. who i thought was following me on facebook. sent me a friend request yesterday. she just wants to fight. if she were conce #concerned at all she coulda just called my mum n ask about me. she hasn't. it's nice to learn who in my family i can never trust :)#i don't wanna be here is gonna be the first thing out of my mouth to this doctor #told my mum numerous times that i don't want to go but ofc i don't get a choice #gonna tell this doctor that they can talk to me only and if they refuse and talk to my mother i'm walking out

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