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bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls · 3 months

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Thank you for allowing me to provide more context on this (and for calling me a good girl). I am hopeful for your perspective, as it’s always been sound in my eyes.

Fundamentally, I (23) operate as a monogamous woman. I haven’t ever been drawn to polyamory. My ex (Master 52) had always been intrigued by it, but in our dynamic we remained monogamous.

This helps me understand that my ex and I were fundamentally wrong for each other from the beginning. It is important to note, I broke no contact with him after finding out this news. I asked a million questions, being the emotional masochist I am - and it helped a bit. Yet, I am still very much struggling to grasp the concept at hand.

Knowing what he chose to share, it doesn’t alleviate the regret and conflicting feelings I harbor for the lengths that I went to, to further capture his attention. To prove my devotion. I invested so much of myself into the dynamic, I believe any good girl would. I did many things in that dynamic that I don’t foresee myself doing again: having my head shaved, having a signature tattooed on me, and other very tangible things that prove ownership. It feels like all of those things meant nothing, when for me they feel very formative, life altering acts. These aren’t things that can be undone, but I long for them to be. I am of the belief that good M/s can rarely be undone, but I am now on the other side of a dynamic and I can’t seem to let go of it.

I see my ex (Master) now juggling 3 women, when I alone was too much to utilize and navigate. These are his words, though they’re incredibly hard to wrap my head around. I feel like these women are getting everything that I worked so hard for, and ultimately never got. His attention, his enthusiasm, his desire to explore.

Ultimately, it’s all very conflicting. I am thankful to know, but the weight of knowing is suffocating. I can’t stop looking at photos of them, in the bed where I once laid, on the floor where I worshiped him, the bathtub where he drowned me.

It’s unhealthy, I recognize this. I am just at odds with myself. I never in a million years expected him to move on in this way, and I know I must accept it. I know going no contact again might be the answer.

How do I not lose myself during this tumultuous time? How do I have grace with him and his new explorations? How do I not internalize this as a reflection of myself, and the service I provided? Do you have any thoughts, or words of wisdom to a girl who is lost, and really even wondering if this lifestyle is sustainable?

There’s a lot going on here, and I probably won’t do it all justice. But here’s what I’ve got:

First, that age gap is pretty huge, so I’m gonna be a bit more judgy about his behavior in all of this. He’s allowed to have flaws and make mistakes, but it doesn’t sound like he did enough to minimize the impact of his flaws and mistakes on someone whose own youthful dumbassery made her extra vulnerable. And that experiential asymmetry is exacerbated by the nebulous nature of the breakup.

You’ve asked him a million questions, but I’m guessing not the ones you actually wanted answered. As a result, he tossed you some bones and left you to divine the truth from them… you’re twenty-three, so interpersonal augury isn’t going to be your strong suit. He’s gonna need to give you more than that.

Which might be tough, because it feels like you’re both hoping the other will come to his/her senses and stop all this foolishness… something that simply can’t happen, because you don’t share a definition of “sense”. He wants you to embrace life as one piece of a larger puzzle, and you want to be the lone X on his treasure map.

What makes it extra confusing is that you’re both basing your unspoken, futile hopes on the same thing:

You were willing to go so far and do so much to prove your dedication… surely that must outweigh everything else!

You were willing to go so far and do so much to prove your dedication… surely polyamory is just one more step on that devotional journey?

From what I can see, there’s no fix to be found here without someone having an unexpected and dramatic change of heart. I don’t know if “no contact” is the answer, but what you’re doing isn’t working.

RE: all those things meant nothing

Regret is a hot-button of mine… it’s the only thing I never want a girl to feel. If you regret being with me —and doing what “being with me” requires— then I have fucked-up on a fundamental level. I didn’t warn you enough, prepare you enough, test you enough… I didn’t ensure you understood the life that awaited you. The thought of such a failure sickens me.

So let me be very clear about something, for you and everyone else.

Never, ever do life-changing shit for a man just to garner his attention, enthusiasm, or desire. Devotion isn’t transactional… it isn’t the extra-credit work of a dutiful student, looking for a “++” to go with an “A”. It isn’t a bet you place, hoping to hit a jackpot. It isn’t a finish line you’re trying to cross.

You only give your all to him because he’s worthy. Because he deserves no less. Your sacrifice is a celebration of what is, not an invocation of what should be. You surrender your flesh and soul not for what he might do, but for what he has already done.

If it feels like an investment, you’re doing it wrong.

RE: undone

It sounds like you did some significant things for him while he was harboring a multitude of doubts. To be honest, that’s actually pretty shitty of him… there’s no good way to sugarcoat it.

The polyamory thing, sure, that could sneak up on him… he knew it was important, just not how important. But I suspect he knew there was a larger problem long before he left. Whatever may have impelled him to keep trying —responsibility, guilt, stubbornness— doesn’t change the fact that he knew something wasn’t working. He should have been taking his foot off the gas and asking some hard questions, not flooring it and hoping for the best. The Thelma & Louise approach seldom saves a relationship.

RE: juggling 3 women

A sip of harsh medication might be efficacious here.

You won’t like reading this, but three women who can fluently speak his language will be easier to handle than one who can’t. It doesn’t matter how much time you spend on elaborate gesticulation and compelling pictograms… if the words can’t flow freely, you’ll be harder to utilize and navigate.

That doesn’t mean you’re “too much”… he should probably rethink his phrasing. But there was almost certainly something wrong with your dynamic that was far bigger than “monogamy vs. polyamory”, and the fact that he hasn’t been able to clearly explain this is a further symptom of the problem. Y’all have been talking, but you haven’t been communicating.

Again, I have to put most of it on him. You weren’t his equal partner in this —by design— and can’t be expected to understand these pitfalls before they’ve consumed you. There’s nothing wrong with you needing help to climb back out.

But as long as you’re down there, I’d say it’s time to take a hard look at how you got here, and realize that whether he wanted one woman or ten, it wasn’t working for you.

RE: How do I not internalize this…?

By reminding yourself that there was nothing inherently wrong with your service… you simply can’t do the right thing for the wrong man.

#asks

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renegadesfics · 2 years

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Omg so sorry for falling asleep on ya last night 😂 But now I'm up and I'm having my coffee and trying to remember all my questions. Okay so

1- how do the adults feel about all this? I feel like Wayne is either completely disinterested or like mad as hell at the reader.

2- What about the Hellfire kids? In that lil snippet Mike seems annoyed but he's also a like 14 year old boy and puberty could just be hitting him like a brick so idk

3- why is reader driving around with no heat in their car????? It's about to be winter in Indiana it's gets below 0° easily get that shit fixed omfg

4- what has Eddie been doing for the months they've been apart? Just sitting in the house being a sad boy? Kissing other girls? Kissing other boys? Or is he like completely love sick and writing the worlds greatest emo anthems on his guitar.

5- ARE THEY GONNA GET BACK TOGETHER????? THEY LOVE EACH OTHER 😭😭😭

6- even if they do get back together what happens after the holiday when reader goes back to school???????

I'm just honestly so invested in this storyyyyyy. It's so well written and genuinely interesting. You're such a good writer. The way you say so much with so little dialogue. I am in awe at your skills, truly.

Oh god! No reason to apologize at all, I'm so glad you got sleep, that shit's like... super important!! Thank you for coming back and continuing the conversation, that's so sweet!! Okay, but onto your questions:

This definitely gets addressed in either part 3 (edit: posted just recently!). In part 4 or after, we may also get reader's parents' take on the whole scenario. Can't keep your personal life very secret in a small town, it seems.

That part's already done, actually, and while I feel like I struggled a bit to capture the kids in fully robust 3D, I also recognize that this is reader's first time interacting with them and First Impressions are a thing. They may pop up more in later parts, I haven't totally settled that one yet. (I’ll give you this much, reader definitely likes at least some of them.)

The heating was just a funny little quirk that I added in the beginning when it was all only going to be one part. It was a like, a throwaway one-liner I had tossed in just to add some depth to the character? But now I'm thinking it's probably something they should get looked at before they leave Hawkins.

I will just go ahead and put out there that I fully 100% invest in the concept of queer Eddie Munson. The personal interpretation of that queerness is up to any one person and how they see it, and I'm not here to police anyone else's perspectives on that. I, however, do interpret him as somewhere on the Bi/Pan side of things. (As a bisexual woman, this could just be me projecting.) Strictly speaking, this isn't relevant to the plot, but you kind of hinted at it with your question and I just wanted to take a second to talk about it. Anyway, my plan is definitely to get a little bit more into how Eddie spent the months reader was gone, but I'm not totally certain when that'll happen.

That's the big question, isn't it? Can't provide much by way of specifics here without big spoilers.

Unfortunately, I also can't give a whole lot away on this one because... I mean, y'know. Have to keep you hooked somehow. But I do plan on at least kind of answering this before I wrap the entirety of TtDS up!

Thank you again for your interest in the series and engaging the way you have!! It means so much and I'm so grateful to have people enjoying reading the story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Maybe in a slightly selfish way, I love talking about it. So. Anyway, hope I answered your questions as best as I'm able to at the moment and hope you enjoy what's coming!!

#answered.#tis the damn season #thruheavenandhighwater

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monstersmutpeddler · 2 years

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Books That I Tried Reading But Couldn’t Finish (The Rest of May 2022)

So, if you’re ever wondering why I sometimes don’t post very often, it’s because I’m stuck trying to fight my way through this. I really tired getting through my backlog of books this month (which, I kinda did, yay!) but oooooofff, some of these books were not my cup of tea.

For those who don’t know:

I’ll sometimes write reviews for the “Personally Couldn’t Finish” section of my rating, but I honestly prefer talking about things that I actually liked reading. Exceptions of course being for books that made me viscerally angry. Because those are fun to write about.

Instead, here is a collection of books I tried reading but personally couldn’t for whatever reason. This could be because I got bored (the most likely answer), I really wasn’t into it, or I got really uncomfortable/triggered.

(I love Sci Fi Alien Romance Books, but hot damn, a lot of them really blur together. Like, I can only read so many ‘abducted for alien sex slavery but then saved by a hot alien man that basically looks human’ books before I zone out. You’d think that after like, 100+ books like that we’d have a lesbian alien. But no. We get alpha aliens who fated mate imprint like werewolves. Not that I have a problem with that, I’m just shocked there aren’t any M/M or W/W yet? Even in reverse harmes or poly books there isn’t a lady.)

Some of these books could actually be really great books (I wouldn’t know, I didn’t finish them), and you might get more enjoyment out of them than I did. So feel free to try them out, my opinion is just that. An opinion.

Alien Instinct (The Alien Series Book 1)

By: Tracy Lauren

I’m just going to copy and paste the bullet points I wrote in my writing review journal because I think it summarizes everything perfectly:

Very lost/confused 22 year old who has no idea what she wants to do in life.

Cut to the alien man right after we were reading about the girl being abducted, no easing into that. Very off. Wtf is going on?

Oooof so he works for the bad guy. At least he’s not into it.

They think the humans are goddesses? This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this kind of trope, but I think Stolen By An Alien did it best.

Gargoyle alien.

There’s always one smartass chick in the group. Always the one bitch that makes it difficult for everyone while sometimes contributing.

Got bored.

Alien Commander's Mate (Fated Mates of the Xilan Warriors Book 1)

By: Ava Ross

Not a fan of the start where this whole group of girls are just like: Talking about how they’re gonna bang these aliens and get pregnant. These first few chapters could’ve been summarized in four paragraphs at most. Then I got bored.

Claimed: A Sci-Fi Alien Romance (Fated Mates of the Kalixian Warriors Book 1)

By: Presley Hall

Things were happening way too fast for my liking. Then I got bored/not invested.

Alien Tyrant: A SciFi Alien Romance (Fated Mates of the Sea Sand Warlords Book 1)

By: Ursa Dax

Got bored.

Claimed by the Hunter: A Post-Apocalyptic Alien Romance (Xarc'n Warriors Book 1)

By: Lynnea Lee

Not really in the mood for this kind of book. Had an interesting start, but then I got lost. Then bored.

Captured: A Sci-Fi Alien Invasion Romance (Garrison Earth Book 1)

By: V. K. Ludwig

Interesting premise that it’s these aliens that are invading earth. That alone could add some interesting dynamics, it’s funny seeing the scientists guards trying really hard to justify themselves and say they aren’t bad guys. But they are.

But then we meet our main love interest guy. Holy shit. Wtf. Not only is he an ass, but the first sex scene between him and the leading lady was rape. He’s all shocked about it but no. You can’t come back from that. That was rape. Fuck no.

Taken by the Alien Pirate: A SciFi Alien Romance (Fated Star Mates Book 1)

By: Kyla Quinn

Got bored.

Possessed: A Sci-Fi Alien Warrior Romance (Raider Warlords of the Vandar Book 1)

By: Tana Stone

Ok, this has the concept of being a funny comedy riffing on the alien romance genre as a whole, but then it got dubious consent-y and I’m not really wanting to read that.

Sirein: A Dystopian World Alien Romance (Alien Fairytale Romances)

By: S.J. Sanders

Started off really interesting, but then I got bored the moment we started reading the love interests perspective. I don’t think they even met until like 40% through the book?

Alien Creep: An Alien Shifter Romance (Alien Abductors Book 1)

By: Calista Skye

Got bored.

Sacrifice (War Brides of the Morja Book 1)

By: Miranda Bridges

Starts straight up with a horny alien man. Like, he is so horny. Then I got bored.

Trauhn: A SciFi Alien Barbarian Romance (Rakui Warriors Book 1)

By: Lena Grey

Got bored.

There Arose Such A Clatter: Tales From The Naughty List

By: C.M.Nascosta

Woah woah woah woah ok. I know the author warns you before hand that this is extreme, but oooof. This was waaaayyy too much for me. Nope.

The Virgin Hunt Games, Volume 1

By: Mel Tescho

Got bored.

Warrior Hunted: A Sci-Fi Alien Romance (Fated Mates of Halia Book 2)

By: Alaska Jones

Got bored.

Big Bad Wolf (The Lycans, 1)

By: Jenika Snow

Got bored.

Tail 'Em: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance (Jailbreak Book 1)

By: Sam Hall

Got bored.

The Orc Wife: A Monsterly Yours Romance

By: S.J. Sanders

Interesting start, but then things started moving real fast and I got uncomfortable. What happened to hello? How are you? My name is?

Dark Planet Warriors: A Science Fiction Romance

By: Anna Carven

I liked things at first one, but then got real bored at the halfway mark.

Love & Monsters

By: Raven Flanagan

Got bored.

Vincent's Resolution: Blind Date With An Alien (Children of the Dead Fall Book 1)

By: Susan Trombley

I wanted to like this, but really couldn’t get into it. Into The Deadfall (if I had to give it an actual rating, which I don’t do) was a 6/10. Interesting concept but two out of the five books were not fun for me. I was really hoping it’s sequel series would’ve been interesting (especially with all the cute kiddos finding love) but this wasn’t fun for me. Another: What happened to hello? How are you? My name is? Moment.

Props for Gabby being down with banging a monster on the first date the moment she finds out. She was like, ready for some weird kinky shit. XD

Honestly? If this was some cute rom com bullshit with Vincent trying to hide the fact that he’s an alien hybrid and his entire family is from an alternate dimension rip in space/time I would’ve loved every second of it. God, could you imagine the meet the parents scenario?

^ Even funnier, if Gabby was actually one of the kids from the Iriduan Test Subjects series. Imagine the SHIT that would’ve gone down.

I’m spiraling I need to stop. :’)

So I’m gonna stop here and pretend the story itself ended happily. Unless I find out Nemon or (mostly likely, if I had to pick someone) Halian shows up. Then I’ll just have to find out what is going on, especially for Halian, because anytime he shows up in a book crazy shit always happens.

#books #book reviews #smutty book reviews

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selkieblood · 6 months

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i know its cheap when a story does a whole saga about the tumult and meaninglessness/fulness of life and then pulls the "and also its a beautiful endless cycle" thing but in AoT it feels earned OK.

the author did bad things or something however im very nostalgic for it

youtube

btw this ed captures pretty much peak AoT aesthetics to me. primarily the show is appealing to me for these vibes. the ritual cannibalism the founding mythology the mystique of it all appeals to my autism. and i adore this song soooo much sooooo much.

the actual show loses its head about this and becomes something im ultimately less interested in, however the characters are branded into my mind since age 13 and so i did swell tears maybe two times at the ending movies.

one thing later aot does that i do like is how it plays with the idea genetic memory which is a concept that interests me. take instinct and make it overwhelming to the point free will is in question. but its not just fear of the dark its attempting double triple quadruple political crossings with an end goal of exacting a genocide. and i didnt buy it when i first watched it (especially memories of the future) but on rewatch of some eps - with the help of some emotional investment - it kind of got some gears rolling for me honestly... like yea this is kinda interesting

and the founding titan ymir. the entire titan thing can be summed up as fear of death manifested as the ability to become into a demi god monster, and that ability becoming a sustained bloodline by the fuel that is an unhealthy attachment to the thing that is ironically the object of that fear (although i guess that only describes the condition of titan shifters and not regular ones). very sad girl i like her.

but what i like most is the tragic cannibalism that is literally eating someone you love in order to maintain some ideal or to protect something or for whatever reason. that was the thing most compelling to me about aot. sina rose maria

#dont get me wrong this show WAAAY loses the sauce but its the body horror and antiquated era aesthetics and dread and tragedy soup i like #also whatever the author did bad i condemn it #apparently he is some kind of revivalist of some bad japanese era or a defender of something bad i dont know.#i just like some parts of the show #and of course the music is good but thats a given with things i like #8 #Youtube

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fearsmagazine · 11 months

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ESME MY LOVE - Review

DISTRIBUTOR: Terror Films

SYNOPSIS: “When Hannah notices the symptoms of a terminal and painful illness in her aloof daughter, Esme, she decides to take her on a trip to their abandoned family farm in a desperate attempt to connect before they have to say goodbye.” - Terror Films

REVIEW: The air is peppered with unease right from the start and continues to build as this mother/daughter trek into the woods becomes terrifying as it descends into madness in ESME MY LOVE. This realistic nightmare set in a dark forest is heightened by a mother’s deteriorating mental state that puts her young daughter in peril.

Cory Choy and Laura Allen’s screenplay is an engaging tale. We are introduced to Hannah and Esme and slowly there are small ticks in the mother’s personality that make us aware that something is off. In the woods lies an abandoned family dairy farm where Hannah’s quest to reconnect with her family history is revealed. Hannah becomes obsessed with digging in order to unearth buried secrets. Esme begins to understand she must put aside her childlike ways and grow up in hopes of getting herself and her mother home. As her mother’s actions circumvent any hopes of either leaving the woods, Esme discovers mysterious clues in the old family home that allows her to get a handle on her mother’s obsession. The writers create a layered and interesting character study - a mother entering into madness and the daughter coming of age. The story plays with the concepts of memory, loss and illness. Hannah and Esme are both plagued by their own phantoms. In terms of the “illness,” the question of it actually being a result of a genetic condition or a psychological condition brought on by guilt is never clearly answered and the viewer is left to form their own opinion. There is a facet to the narrative that reminds me of a Shirley Jackson story. By the final act the viewer’s emotions can feel frayed if they’ve made the emotional investment into the story.

The film rests on the shoulders of actresses Audrey Grace Marshall and Stacey Weckstein. Audrey Grace Marshall is a talented young actress, and I recalled her work in “The Girl Who Got Away” and the TV series “The Flight Attendant.” She delivers a rich and dynamic performance as she goes through a character arc catalyzed by her mother’s unraveling. Actress Stacey Weckstein likewise delivers a strong, unforgettable performance. She demonstrates this internalized struggle where we perceive her dark intentions and her motherly instincts fight for control. Over the course of the film her personality slowly morphs and by the end we are confronted with a different person. The two actresses are compelling, skillfully drawing the viewer into the drama.

The film has beautiful production values. They capture breathtaking images of the wilderness as they play with the lighting to draw out the shadows adding menace to the forest. They maximize the effect of the abandoned locations, and I am curious to see images of what they looked like when they found them and how much dressing they did to achieve the look. I’m sure that there were elements from the plot that added to the set, but they feel organic and seamless to the tale. Director Cory Choy creates hypnotic moments through complex and powerful performances she extracts from her actors. She juxtaposes the characters’ surreal moments, adding depth to the visual narrative. She finds a lush quality in the wilderness and the rustic nature of Hannah’s family’s detritus.

ESME MY LOVE is a surprising and gripping psychological horror thriller. It presents two well crafted , strong female characters that are brought to life through fervent performances. There are some thought-provoking elements woven into the narrative that provide some comparisons and contrast to what transpires. It all comes together in a uniquely haunting cinema viewing experience.

CAST: Audrey Grace Marshall & Stacey Weckstein CREW: Director/Screenplay/Producer - Cory Choy; Screenplay - Laura Allen; Cinematographer - Fletcher Wolfe; Score - Stephanie Griffin & Charlotte Littlehales; Editors - Emrys Eller & Ellie Gravitte; Production Designer - Kyra Boselli; Special Makeup Effects Artist - Chelsea Paige. OFFICIAL: www.esmemylove.com FACEBOOK: N.A. TWITTER: N.A. TRAILER: https://youtu.be/dHqNxHLzZ9U RELEASE DATE: On Demand and Digital June 2nd, 2023

**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay), or 👎 (Dislike)

Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri

#film review #movie review #ESME MY LOVE #esmemylovemovie #Audrey Grace Marshall #Stacey Weckstein #Cory Choy #horror #psychological #surreal #joseph mauceri #joseph b mauceri

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charcubed · 3 years

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hey char, mind to share your fave stevebucky headcanons? 👀

Oh I LOVE that you asked me this :’) Thank you!

I honestly have so many if I really think about it because I love them so much and I think about their dynamic so much that I have so many favorite things... but here is what I think of off the top of my head:

• Steve was color blind before the serum, according to canon. I have a headcanon that Bucky used to try to describe colors to him. I wrote a mini fic about that here.

• Bucky was drafted for the war, but didn’t tell Steve. Steve sort of assumed that Bucky enlisted, and Bucky never wanted to correct him. How could he? Steve wanted to enlist so badly, and Bucky didn’t ever feel like he could admit that he didn’t have the same drive to want to ~fight for the country~ like Steve did. He didn’t want to disappoint him and he was afraid Steve would think he was a coward. So Bucky just... never told him that he was forced into war. It was never his choice to fight for the country. If it was up to him, they would’ve stayed home together and stayed safe and never fought at all.

• They were always physically rough with each other, in the sense that they'd wrestle as boys all the time, and Steve loved that Bucky never treated him as fragile. Buck knew he could take it. Even after the serum, they'd still scuffle a bit like kids, finding a bright spot in a war-torn world. They’d be awake in the trenches on lookout, having soft conversations in the night, and shoving each other after one says something stupid or makes a bad joke.

• Steve is bi, and Bucky is gay. Bucky was consciously aware of his feelings for Steve way, way before Steve was aware of his for Bucky. In the 30s, Bucky has a bit of a reputation for ~dating around,~ but not in a rude ladies’ man kind of way but rather his reputation is “Bucky Barnes is a real charmer. He’ll show you a good time and he’s really sweet, but he never pushes your boundaries.” Some women wishes he’d push their boundaries, but he doesn’t. He’s taken so many women out on dates because he never lets it get super serious, since they’re not who he wants and it’s mostly for appearances’ sake, especially since he and Steve live together. He definitely enjoys hanging out with women, and treating them nice, but most of the time his motivation is to try to set up double dates–half because Steve deserves to find a great girl to date, and half because a double date means Bucky can selfishly do a date activity “with” Steve and not have it mean anything. Meanwhile though, Steve gets jealous as hell and testy about Bucky dating all the time, but he’s oblivious to the fact that it’s because Steve wishes Bucky would be with him instead.

• Their first kiss was when Steve was 16 and Bucky was 17. I’m not necessarily saying that’s when they actually got together, but something significant happened between them at those ages... maybe they kissed because they were drunk, or it was so Steve’s “first kiss” would be someone he knew and it was for “practice.” And then they both never talked about it again, because they’re idiots and were afraid to ~ruin things~ between each other. That’s why Steve says “Rumlow said ‘Bucky’ and all of a sudden I was a 16-year-old kid again, in Brooklyn.” That’s why “seventeen” is one of Bucky’s trigger words as the Winter Soldier. It checks out, because Bucky is a little bit older than Steve.

• Steve doesn’t fully admit the depth of his own feelings for Bucky to himself until he finds out Bucky’s been captured by HYDRA. And then he tears Europe apart to get him back. He’d have done that anyway, obviously, but... the prospect of losing Bucky forever is really what makes him realize how much he can’t handle that concept. Because he’s in love with him.

• After Bucky “dies,” Steve gets more reckless, and that’s part of the reason he put the plane in the ice and didn’t try to survive: he didn’t want to live in a world without Bucky in it. This is supported by canon. And so I headcanon that, after Steve finds out about the Winter Soldier, one day he abruptly realizes that he could’ve died in that plane crash and never known Bucky was alive and brainwashed and suffering. He thought Bucky was dead and he wanted to follow him, and he could’ve left Bucky even more alone in the world without knowing it. When Steve realizes how close he came to leaving Bucky behind like that, he throws up. It horrifies him to think about it.

• They each have a pair of dog tags where one says “Steve Rogers” and one says “Bucky Barnes.” They swapped one tag each, so that they’d have a matching set, because while they couldn’t list each other as “next of kin,” they wanted tangible evidence that would show other people how important they are to each other. So people would know: tell him if something happens to me.

• Their Brooklyn accents come out / get heavier around each other, especially if they’re bitching about things or arguing.

• Bucky is a complete sci-fi and fantasy nerd–which is now confirmed canon, and I love it. In particular, I like to headcanon that he loves to read paperback sci-fi novels, and discount romance novels. He unironically enjoys them, and he leaves them allllll over the place. One of the things they love to do is Bucky will sit around and read while Steve will sit around and draw/paint, and half the time Steve gets distracted sketching Bucky’s facial expression he makes while he’s reading.

• Bucky is also a pop culture gremlin. He will try and often get interested in pretty much anything and everything, without rhyme or reason. In modern day, he and Nat will watch trashy reality TV together–sometimes to make fun of it, sometimes to get invested. Steve thinks they’re insane for that. And sometimes Bucky will like one niche thing but then for very specific reasons he dislikes another similar thing. It makes sense to him, even if Steve doesn’t get it.

• Steve tends to be pickier with the kind of stuff he enjoys. He’s always had Strong Opinions™️ on everything, including and especially art. Put him in a museum and he’ll have a lot of thoughts on all of it. He doesn’t judge things or hate on other people for liking things he doesn’t like at all, but he won’t get hooked on a movie/show quite as easily. The one exception is animation, which he absolutely adores, and he goes on a wild binge of all kinds of animated content for awhile–shows and movies–because the various art styles and uses of the medium to tell crazy stories just fascinates him.

• Easy access to so much music is one of their mutual favorite things about the 21st century. Bucky often gets into individual artists’ entire discographies and becomes a fan, whereas Steve often gets into a handful of specific songs from a wide range of various people. Like... Bucky will often love an entire album, and Steve will often love 2 songs specifically more than others. But even with that, Steve loves collecting vinyl records–both old and new ones.

• Bucky has a fantastic singing voice even though he’s shy about it, and he tends to hum along to music when distracted or working on something else–especially while making something in the kitchen.

• Bucky likes technology more than Steve; Steve likes physical stuff more than Bucky. Bucky loves to take photos and videos of things all the time, hoarding digital memories in a way that’s precious to him, knowing that they’re “safe” and accessible anywhere. They lost so much of the objects that they loved a century ago, and photos were scarce, but now... there are endless ways to have pictures. When Bucky was recovering in Wakanda and Steve was on the run, Bucky would often text Steve photos–sometimes without captions–to wordlessly share bits of his days with him. He’s got a good eye for photography, except for when he takes the photo equivalent of shitposts to make Steve laugh. Regardless, Steve gets his favorites printed–some of Bucky’s photos, some of his, some of their selfies–so they also always have something tangible to hold onto.

• Bucky calls Steve “sweetheart” sometimes, just to be a little shit–and he means it. It makes Steve turn red every time, without fail, but he secretly doesn’t mind it.

Okay I’ll stop hahaha. Those are the main ones that come to mind for me all the time when I think of them!

Thank you again for asking :D This was so fun to write all in one place!

#anonymous #asks #stevebucky #stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #headcanons #literally sat here and spent like an hour writing this. like it's 2017 again. NO remorse! a nice way to wind down my evening #char writes things

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stylesnews · 3 years

Link

“Feeling good in my skin/ I just keep on dancing,” Harry Styles sings in his latest single, “Treat People With Kindness.” And in the song’s exuberant music video -- which has garnered 17 million YouTube views and counting since its debut on New Year’s Day -- he does just that: Wearing a sequined jacket and bow tie, he chassés, spins and flutters jazz hands like an MGM musical star (with a little help from his equally debonair partner, Fleabag’s Phoebe Waller-Bridge).

Styles shot the video in early 2019 after several weeks of training with choreographer Paul Roberts, a collaborator since his One Direction days. “I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this could be something special,” says Roberts, a veteran stage director and choreographer who’s worked on videos and tours for the likes of Sam Smith, Katy Perry, Diana Ross, and the Spice Girls (their Spiceworld stadium tour).

Watching the explosive fan reaction to Styles’s little known dance talents -- including from the Spice Girls, who've “sent lovely messages" about the video -- Roberts says it seems like "Treat People With Kindness" arrived at the precise right moment. “Most people’s comments are, ‘I’ve not felt that happy for three and a half minutes in a long time,’ or ‘I smiled from ear to ear the whole way through.’ It’s a positive light.”

He spoke to Billboard about Styles’ intensive training process -- and why he wouldn’t be surprised to see him dancing onstage again.

There’s been one pretty overwhelming reaction to this video: “This is the guy who was in the group that insisted they couldn’t dance?!” Did you expect this kind of reaction to Harry dancing? I’ve been with Harry for 10 years: I was with the One Direction boys from the beginning the whole way through their career before they took the hiatus, and they always made a very conscious decision that they didn’t want choreography as part of their brand -- but they did want a kind of disheveled organization in order to allow the cameras and the lighting to stand a chance in terms of presenting them in the best manner possible.

What was very evident to me was that all five of them, and then it obviously became four, they’ve all got their own magic. The only time I’ve experienced that was when I worked with the Spice Girls. I always knew that they had special skills aside from what they were in One Direction, whether it was movement, songwriting, being able to handle the business side of things. For such young lads they were very astute and very decisive. So, getting together with Harry -- he’s a bit of an alchemist, is Harry. Everything he turns his hand to turns to gold. Where did the initial dance-centric concept come from? Harry and the directors, Ben and Gabe [Turner], sent me a video link to the Nicholas Brothers scene from Stormy Weather and Harry asked me, "How long do you think it would take to dance like this?" I was like, "OK, are you being serious?" "Yeah, I’m being serious."

That is probably one of the most standout dance sequences ever captured on film -- so I knew we were aiming high. I said, "Why don’t we go into a studio and let’s workshop some choreography, some moves, some short sequences, and see what your ability is, see how we can tailor this to make you look the best you can possibly look." Obviously it would take some investment in terms of rehearsal and commitment, I told him it would be mentally and physically exhausting, but I thought, "My God yeah, let’s do it; this will be an adventure."

How long did the whole process take? We started in mid-January 2019, and we rehearsed and workshopped for about four to five weeks before the shoot, every day. Both Harry and Phoebe had other things going on, so, for instance, Phoebe was working on the new Bond movie in Canada, so I sent my assistant to Canada to work with her. I stayed in the U.K. with Harry, and then we went to L.A. where Harry shot two more videos, for “Watermelon Sugar” and “Falling.”

What was the process in the studio like with Harry? We didn’t even use his [vocal] track to begin with -- we used different big band songs, some contemporary alternative music. It was just about finding his [movement] language first and foremost. Then we developed the choreography and sent it to the directors, who gave us feedback. We enhanced the work a bit more, and then once we had some really solid sequences, Ben and Gabe storyboarded the scenes against the timeline of the music.

At this point Harry and Phoebe were still working separately, and then we joined forces in London, where we really started to refine these sequences of choreography we’d developed, trying to find the finesse and the style, almost making sense of the movement for them so they felt they had a dancer’s way of working the movement through the body. You’ve worked with a wide variety of artists, many of whom aren’t dancers first. How do you find, as you put it, the “language” of movement that makes sense for each of them as individuals?

I think the general answer is really communicating -- listening and understanding what the artist’s desire is. And also collaborating, so you don’t get too lost in yourself as a choreographer. What looks good on you might not transcend to the artist, or even necessarily the dancers.

With Harry, what was important within the language of the choreography was that it felt joyful and had personality. Him and Phoebe, with the work she’s done with Fleabag, you associate them and what they do with a sense of style, a real confidence, but at the heart of it it’s entertainment. And with the amount of time and budget we had, which was such a luxury in this day and age, we wanted to do something that pushed both of them out of their comfort zones. We tried to make it as athletic as possible but without compromising them as artists and becoming too comedic. We wanted it to be a bit quaint and cute in places, but we definitely didn’t want it to be thought of as nonsensical or silly.

Harry’s movement in the video is so crisp and precise, even his hands and arm extension look very dancerly. Did that come through a lot of specific work with you? As a songwriter and artist, for Harry it’s about detail, about pushing yourself to be the best. He’s always got questions: "Why are we doing that? Should we be doing this?" We got to a point during the rehearsal period where I brought in a ballet teacher, really to just get Harry and Phoebe to open themselves up from behind their shoulder blades, have an idea of extension, the lines that extend from your center all the way to the tip of your finger. I’d be saying, “Your arms Harry, your arm line!” Asking him to push his shoulders down, lift his carriage up, extend through his breast. And when he hit those lines, he’d be like, “Oh yeah, that feels different.” It’s funny: We spent a couple days apart -- he had to go off and do a gig somewhere -- and I was like, “I hope you’re rehearsing when you’ve got some downtime, dude!” And he sent me a picture in the gym with his arms in the most beautiful balletic arm line! I was like, "Yes, by George, you’ve got it!" Besides the Nicholas Brothers, did you have any particular dance references in mind for the feel of the choreography? I just delved into the MGM archives. Obviously [Fred] Astaire and [Gene] Kelly, the two greats -- especially with Astaire, we loved how sometimes it seems so effortless yet a bit throwaway, not totally totally perfect always. We enjoyed the moments from him of “I’ll just do a bit of this,” “I’ll just walk off camera left,” the dropping in and out of movement. We loved the duet “Moses Supposes” from Singin’ in the Rain, for Gene Kelly and Donald O’Connor -- we loved the camaraderie between them, which felt a bit goofball at times, and just that wry smile, the look to the left, knowing your partner is there and has got your back. It feels fizzy, it feels joyful.

And yes, there was a massive core of MGM-ism, but at the same time an absolute huge dollop of Harry-and-Phoebe-ism. It was important to us to feel a bit more contemporary, so again we stay true to Harry and Phoebe as artists. Has Harry indicated any interest in dancing more going forward?

We had a conversation back at the end of the summer about how much we enjoyed the process, and I know he was doing another project where choreography was involved, so we were just talking about it and how he felt. Coming from where he came from to what he was about to do, he felt he could be pushed even further. I don’t know if he got the bug, or if it’s just the way he is as a person, very inquisitive and wanting to keep elevating himself. There’s now been some talk on social media that it can’t be long before Harry does Broadway. What do you think?

I mean, I think with Harry Styles, anything is possible, is it not? I mean, I’m sure because he’s tasted the dance, he’ll inject that along the line in his career. It won’t necessarily be out-and-out dancing, but I guess it’s a bit like Bowie used to do, isn’t it? It’s the showmanship and presentation of the performance. Who knows? He’s just so open-minded and open-hearted — and because he’s so open it allows the universe to come back at him and he’s able to do anything he sets his mind to.

#harry styles #jan21 #paul roberts #billboard #article #tpwkmv

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feuqueerfire · 2 years

Text

Feu’s March 2022 BL/GL Wrap-up

A little monthly wrap-up of all the shows I’ve watched or am watching in March 2022, general thoughts, ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month:

youtube

A First Love Story Part 1 and Part 2 were just so charming! They managed to get me to care about the characters and relationship in so little time. Also, if you liked the honorifics in Semantic Error, this one also plays with it just a bit.

Ranking

Not Me

Semantic Error

A First Love Story

Just Friends?

Color Rush = TharnType S1 = Second Chance = What Happened Last Night?

The Tasty Florida = One Last Order = Tinted With You = TharnType Special: Our Final Love = Y-Destiny: Wednesday (Kaeng & Puth) = Happy to Have You Here

Behind Cut = TharnType 2 Special: The Wedding Day

Not Ranked: The random Korean GL (but non-GL) clips and scenes I watched on Youtube.

Completely Watched

The Tasty Florida

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Sep 24, 2021 - Oct 15, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 5, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: Viki (free with VPN in France)

General Thoughts: I didn't watch anything for the first few days of March because I was very much in a Bad Buddy fic reading/show rewatching/Ohmnanon mood. Glad I got my Bad Buddy fix out of the way before starting this because otherwise I would've 100% just been thinking bout how I'd rather be watching BBS. It started off very meh for me but got better as it went along because I was invested in the conflict between the friends, more than I thought I would be. None of the characters or storylines really captured me, so I doubt I'll be thinking of this again but it was a fine watch just for the sake of watching. I wish it had Korean subs on Viki though, seeing as Korean practice was my main reason for watching and I hardly got that lol

Also Mentioned In: The Tasty Florida Live Blogging

Behind Cut

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 28, 2021 - Jan 19, 2022

Dates Watched: Mar 6 - 7, 2022

Rating: 4.5/10

Watched Via: Viki (free with VPN in France)

General Thoughts: I knew people liked it and then really disliked it because the ending was messy and... yeah. Utter nonsense, nothing makes sense. Made me miss Bad Buddy where the characters are fully realized and stays true to themselves and although not every single loose thread is always tied up or followed through with, there was nothing so glaring. The father son interactions were great though.

Also Mentioned In: Behind Cut Live Blogging, Anticipated 2022 Releases

One Last Order

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Mar 30, 2019

Dates Watched: Mar 7, 2022

Rating: 5/10 but that’s good considering the study production and short runtime

Watched Via: Youtube (Free)

General Thoughts: Created by some university students, so it has a certain amateur charm to it. I liked hearing Bol4 playing in the cafe lol. Well done on the second-hand embarrassment scene, it was awkward and embarrassing without being over the top. I hope the cheerful server girl lives the best life and also has a girlfriend, she’s so endearing. Anyway, cute concept, endearing story, made use of its short runtime; won’t leave any impact on me though and I didn’t really expect it to.

Color Rush

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 30, 2020 - Jan 21, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 8 - 9, 2022

Rating: 5.5/10

Watched Via: Viki (free)

General Thoughts: Probably the best of what I’ve watched this month thus far but that isn’t saying much at all. I keep watching these bad-mediocre shows hoping for Korean practice but I’m barely getting much practice I feel like lol. Unique premise, wish they’d actually solved the mystery they set up from the very beginning, didn’t like Yoo Han the love interest’s acting and so the romance felt stilted as well, liked the main character Yeon Woo. Probably gonna read a summary and some opinions on Colour Rush Season 2 but not actually watch it.

Also Mentioned In: Color Rush Live Blogging

Just Friends?

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 17, 2009

Dates Watched: Mar 9, 2022

Rating: 6/10, so wish this was longer than 25 mins

Watched Via: :>

General Thoughts: This was supposed to be just thoughts but turned into a full reaction thing lol.

I don’t really watch old shows or movies (especially not queer ones... sad endings galore), so this was new for me. Had to search up whether this had a happy ending beforehand.

Many BLs fall into either: choose to not focus on homophobia at all or have a very homophobic family as an obstacle. This one is interesting because it is definitely set in a homophobic society and they have to navigate that but it’s not a tragic story due to it; there’s still hope and happiness in the midst of all the homophobia. It kind of reminds me of Aof’s works like He’s Coming to Me or Dark Blue Kiss, where homophobia is a thing but we get to see happiness and acceptance in that.

The lady from the bus glancing away because she’s realized Seok Yi likes men was heartbreaking but it was followed by the funny scene with them lying down with the mom with face masks on; I liked the juxtaposition and the tone shift was natural.

How are they so daring?! Minsu kissing Seok Yi’s cheek while his mom is sleeping literally 2 feet away, they have Me stressed. Scratch that, Minsu’s unbuttoning Seok Yi’s shirt ??!?!?! And tryna give each other handies??!?! Where are your self-preservation skills. Anyway, at least they didn’t get found out there.

It’s funny how incredibly tame and chaste the recent kBL webdramas are but then you have this 30 minute thing or Long Time No See which are quite explicit? Like this is startlingly explicit, I wasn’t expecting it

Oh... my god, the mom. i let out a guttural scream.

the woman from the bus crying because her long term boyfriend who she loves is gay and being like “today, i hate being a woman” and Seok Yi being like “i hate being a man” because of the homophobia and me sitting there like wow gender

This song to his mom... everything to me. The apology for being this way and disappointing his mom but still being like well, even though I’m sorry, I’ll still continue to like men. It’s not like the “well, idgaf what you say or who you are i’ll cut you off and live my life” because I can’t identify with that nor want that but rather a quieter defiance where it’s like “I know this isn’t what you wanted from me and I’m sorry but I’ll continue to be me” that I wish I was more like.

Anyway, this turned out quite long but all in all, quite enjoyed it. Very much wish I could see it in with better quality because this was like watching it through a potato; alas, I can’t afford that right now.

Interlude: Korean GL non-GL Clips on Youtube (March 9)

Okay this is a lie, these aren’t GL clips. They’re just clips from Korean shows where, if they were brave or loved me, they would’ve given us GL. Desperation is watching girls with terrible friendships that border on being obsessive and controlling due to their intensity and choosing to interpret them as being in love lol

She Falls for a Princess Disguised as Crown Prince Lee | The King’s Affection: Makes me want a Nobleman Ruy’s Wedding type GL; I wouldn’t even care if it’s mediocre like I’m out here living on crumbs bro

Everybody loves the bad girl in school...but she's mine. | Sweet Revenge 2: I can so clearly see this kinda being like a Light On Me but GL T.T like maybe you first root for Rokhee/Hani because of how cute they are (We even got a fucking shoe putting on scene - I love my shoe lace tying scenes like no other) but progressively you realize they’re not right for each other. Then the Rokhee/Jina storyline, though we didn’t get to see much of their interactions in this cut. Anyway in my head they’re all sapphic and have feelings for each other.

Yuna x Nari | The World Of My 17: You’re telling me they aren’t dating? That they don’t have feelings for each other? That Yuna isn’t madly in love with Nari and hasn’t been for years? asldkfjaslkdfj I’ve sat through so many m/m and m/f shows with the controlling, toxic male pursuer ummmmm what about this codependent, controlling female pursuer huh ! lmao

집착 심한 친구 (Obsessive Friend): “너 친구들하고도 뽀뽀해?” “아니 친구하고 뽀뽀를 어떻게 헤?!” “그럼 나는?” “넌 다르지!” girl you’re telling me this “do you kiss your friends too?” “No! how do you kiss a friend?” “Then me?” “You’re different!” convo is just completely platonic from the friend’s side? Other people also think they’re dating! Give me unsustainable, unstable codependent girls!!! I can’t believe we got the societal homophobia without even the homosexuality!!

These have so many views too, 400k, 1.4M, 970k, 4M in order like please T.T some spare GL?

Semantic Error

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Feb 16, 2022 - Mar 10, 2022

Dates Watched: Mar 10 - 12, 2022

Rating: 7/10 7.5/10 [Aug 20, 2022 Update: Increased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs]

Watched Via: Viki and :>

General Thoughts: Thoroughly enjoyed it! Very strong characterization for the two main characters, as well as Yuna (love that she’s sapphic) and Ji Hye. The progression of the story and Sang Woo and Jae Young's relationship made sense. The acting was good, as well. It was clear that the creators had talent, budget and thought all poured into this project. Episode 7 was my favourite; wish the last episode didn’t have 20 minutes of unnecessary angst and separation so that we could enjoy them together instead but oh, well, I guess. Tied with Light On Me for favourite kBL and definitely one of my favourite BLs in general. Would love a season 2 but it’d be like 2+ years later if it ever happens and who knows if I’d even be this into watching shows then since I flit from fandom to fandom.

tags: #semantic error

Also Mentioned In: Semantic Error Live Blogging, Anticipated 2022 Releases

A First Love Story

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Aug 27, 2021 - Sep 15, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 13, 2022

Rating: 6.5/10

Watched Via: Strongberry Youtube (Free)

General Thoughts: A bit nervous starting this because I enjoyed Semantic Error so much and obviously the budget and team behind that one is so much bigger than this short but this short and sweet thing definitely held its own. Very charming.

Pt 1: As I’ve mentioned many times in the Semantic Error Live Blogging post, I am but a lover of honorifics and formalities, so Min Gyu calling Jae Sung hyung constantly and then the consequences of calling him ya! once is very great and lovely to me. Min Gyu calls him hyung but uses the lowest form of formality (no -yo endings) and I think that’s how most friends speak (from my kpop knowledge lol) so it was interesting that in Semantic Error Sang Woo kept the -yo endings with Jae Young even when they were dating. Anyway, it was so cute T.T I understood about 75% because I was watching with korean subs and then switching to french subs if I didn’t understand but I’ll rewatch with eng subs after watching pt 2 to better understand.

Pt 2: I understood like only 40% of the stuff being said since I didn’t get to pause to understand the meaning because I wanted to finish watching before a meeting lol but regardless it’s just so Cute !! and endearing !! I love established relationships and ease and comfort and teasing and long standing friendships and just T.T The teasing during the intimate scene was also very endearing. Time to rewatch with English subs!

Overall, it’s so short (less than 15 minutes total) but I’m impressed by how they’ve managed to create the story, characters and relationship around the time constraints.

Note: I’d been planning to watch Not Me after finishing Semantic Error but I just don’t think I can? First of all, it’s 14 episodes and if I’m not able to limit myself to 1-2 episodes a day, I’ll be screwed since I have so many school deadlines. Second, I don’t think I can follow up a really good BL with another what I’m hoping is a really good BL lol. After Bad Buddy, I watched many kinda bad - mediocre - good BLs and when I finally watched Semantic Error (a great BL), I could actually get attached to the story and characters because I wasn’t hung up on Bad Buddy or Pat/Pran. So I guess... I’ll get a few more shorter, possibly mediocre, shows off my backlist before I try Not Me? I’m just impressed by the fact that I haven’t really been spoiled for Not Me yet beyond just knowing some basic plot points, so I hope that continues even after the last episode is out.

Tinted With You

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 23, 2021 - Jan 14, 2022

Dates Watched: Mar 14, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: Viki Movie Version (free with VPN)

General Thoughts: Very mediocre, which I expected but it started out more endearing than I thought (+ I saw a gifset of the ending scene so in my head it was OT3 from the start, + someone ranked it 2nd favourite kBL), so I was hoping I would like it more. If a show is mostly slice of life, you have to care about the characters but I didn't care. If it's high concept, the plot and narrative have to be strong but they weren't. Also, I wish they had fewer crying/emotional scenes because I don't think any of the actors can naturally pull it off. Nothing was terribly wrong but nothing was very good, either. Doubt I'll think about this again.

tags: tinted with you

Also Appears In: Tinted With You Live Blogging, Anticipated 2022 Releases

Not Me

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Dec 12, 2021 - Mar 20, 2022

Dates Watched: Mar 15 - 21, 2022

Rating: 7.5/10 8/10 8.5/10 8/10 [Aug 20, 2022 Update: Increased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs] [Oct 29, 2022 Update: Increased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs] [Jan 25, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top shows: 8.5 -> 8]

Watched Via: GMMTV Youtube

General Thoughts: I'd been wanting to watch it for so long that I just started it during the week between episode 13 and 14 even if it was a busy week rip. I wrote so much in my Live Blogging and Review because this made me feel so many things, get so invested in the relationship and characters. Even wrote a ToddBlack fic that's also a Black character study. The Full Review gets into my full feelings.

tags: not me, seanwhite, danyok, toddblack, gramblack

Also Mentioned In: Anticipated 2022 Releases, Not Me Live Blogging: Episodes 1 - 5, Episodes 6 - 10, Episodes 11 - 14 + Full Review, fic: Let’s Drink The Best Wine Now

TharnType

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Oct 7, 2019 - Jan 6, 2020

Dates Watched: Mar 25 - 27, 2022

Rating: 5.5/10

Watched Via: Viki (Free)

General Thoughts: Did not enjoy it until I did, lol. I wish the first 4 episodes didn’t have so much noncon/dubcon from Tharn to Type but I went into it knowing that it well, so I just skipped a lot of it. I also thought everything was so awkward at first but the interactions between Tharn and Type did gradually get better and were cute at time as the show progressed and they started dating. I wish the actors were better at acting because there were so many heavy, emotional, intense scenes.

Don’t think I’ll watch Season 2 because people don’t tend to like it but will watch the specials.

tags: tharntype

Also Mentioned In: TharnType Live Blogging

TharnType Special: Our Final Love

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jan 19, 2020

Dates Watched: Mar 27, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: Viki (Free)

General Thoughts: Sure, cute, whatever. I wish it didn’t spend any time with Lhong because what. Domesticity is my favourite thing ever, so it delivered on that front, even though other parts were irritating. Made me think about how I feel about the husband/wife trope (in the live blogging).

tags: tharntype

Also Mentioned In: TharnType Live Blogging

TharnType 2 Special: The Wedding Day

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Feb 13, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 27, 2022

Rating: 4.5/10

Watched Via: :>

General Thoughts: Cute, sure, didn’t really care. Don’t really care for weddings, either in real life or fiction. Tharn and Type were fine.

tags: tharntype

Also Mentioned In: TharnType Live Blogging

Second Chance

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 29, 2021 - May 3, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 28 - 29, 2022

Rating: 5.5/10

Watched Via: Viki (Free)

General Thoughts: The writing and timeline and flow of scenes were weird. Weak in terms of coherency. I liked the acting enough and thought the honesty and earnestness of the story pulled through even though the writing had other weak points. Paper and Tong Fah started off fairly strong for me with the best friend dynamics, the tenderness, the heartbreak of rejection but then got very meh and boring once Tong Fah landed in the hospital. Chris and Jeno started off cute enough for me but then I started really liking them. The effects of Jeno being hounded by his abusive ex has on his general life (learning Muay Thai) and his outlook on relationships (not wanting to be hurt again, not wanting anything public) were briefly touched upon and I enjoyed that. Overall, I wasn't ever super invested but it wasn't like totally boring; it had weaknesses but strengths as well.

tags: second chance the series

Also Mentioned In: Second Chance Live Blogging

Y-Destiny Episodes 9 & 10 (Kaeng & Puth)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 30, 2021 - Jul 6, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 30, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: :>

General Thoughts: I really liked it at the beginning (I liked Kaeng, I liked that they both slept around, I liked that the nsfw scenes weren’t awkward, I liked their chemistry/ease) but they dragged out the love triangle for too long. Puth and Puya had more cute moments than Kaeng and Puth did because KaengPuth mostly just had sexy moments. Them having nsfw scenes is fine because they started off being fuck buddies, after all, but the show didn't spend time developing their relationship outside of sex, so it falls a little flat. They definitely shouldn't have had Puth dating Puya for this long.

Special: Uh... okay, sure.

Also Mentioned In: Y-Destiny Ep 9 - 10 Live Blogging

Happy to Have You Here (GL Short)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Feb 5, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 31, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: SHAKESHOULDER FILMMAKER Youtube

General Thoughts: Short and sweet, didn’t realize that this was an ad at first lol

What Happened Last Night? (GL Short - Part 10 of Nadao Quarantine Stories)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jun 9, 2020

Dates Watched: Mar 31, 2022

Rating: 5.5/10

Watched Via: Nadao Bangkok Youtube

Reactions: I love the friend group, how they’re all discussing Pam’s problems and listening to each other but also teasing and clearly seem close.

T.T “What if one day you get kicked out for being with her but it doesn’t work out with her? Would you still be her friend?”

umm the way they’re talking about how they weren’t quiet last night umm did they do things other than kissing

Pam and Kwang are so giggly and shy >.<

hellloooo Kwang dying in the game and Pam avenging her

Overall, very cute and really had you invested in the characters/relationship/friend group despite the short run time.

Currently Watching

Nothing because every time I wanted to start something these past 2 days, I was like I’m wont be able to finish it by end of March, so I didn’t start it. I don’t know how I’m planning on starting Cupid’s Last Wish and KinnPorsche and having to roll them over for like 4 months if I can’t even do this, so good luck to me lol

April Plans

On-Air

Cupid’s Last Wish - I’ll try to watch it week to week but... might end up binging the released Disney+ Hotstar version

If I feel like I’m succeeding in watching Cupid’s Last Wish week-to-week, I’ll start KinnPorsche either on the 30th after my exams are done or in May

Binge

Cause You’re My Boy - I’ve been meaning to start this for a few weeks, hope the time has finally come. This is first on the list for April

I like to divide up my shows by country for immersive purposes, since it’s easier to catch context and nuance if you’re watching the same country’s content back to back. The problem with that is I want the next country after I finish Cause You’re My Boy and start Cupid’s Last Wish is Japan BUT I’m really looking forward to Blueming now... so maybe Korean? Or might just take a little detour, watching only Blueming and veer into Japan? Anyway here’s my list for Japan

Kei x Yuko - I know it’s a bromance but I might enjoy it regardless because people said it’s domestic. I’ll just think of it as them dating.

A Man Who Defies the World of BL Season 1 and Season 2 - seems hilarious, short, free on Viki.

We Are Both The Grooms - I hope I’m able to find English subs for this because it seems like a blend of humour and more realism, looking forward to it.

And for Korea

Blueming

2-3 Viki Series (Wish You, Kissable Lips, First Love Again, Cherry Blossoms After Winter)

The Handmaiden

Continue watching the Korean GL shorts or like compilations from different shows that are non-GL but seem GL

#general bl #tracking #feu rambles #girls

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kingstylesdaily · 3 years

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How Harry Styles Found His Inner Dancer For 'Treat People With Kindness'

He spoke to Billboard about Styles’ intensive training process -- and why he wouldn’t be surprised to see him dancing onstage again.

At the end of the “Watermelon Sugar” shoot, he wrapped, got in his car, came to the dance studio and we rehearsed into the night. Knowing how short a time you sometimes get with artists even for really big performances, I thought the rehearsals would dilute and we’d lose momentum, but both Phoebe and Harry were so committed. What was the process in the studio like with Harry? We didn’t even use his [vocal] track to begin with -- we used different big band songs, some contemporary alternative music. It was just about finding his [movement] language first and foremost. Then we developed the choreography and sent it to the directors, who gave us feedback. We enhanced the work a bit more, and then once we had some really solid sequences, Ben and Gabe storyboarded the scenes against the timeline of the music.

via billboard.com

#kingstylesdaily #Harry Styles #hs: tpwk #January 2021 #hs: news

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bluefirewrites · 3 years

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Hc - Luke gets in trouble at school and forced to join the drama club latest production and try out , where he ends up getting the lead along with Julie (who they know of each other through there moms friendship. But the more they spend time together even outside school the more they fall for each other. And finally get together (sorry for the rambling sometimes have trouble writing what i want to say )

I had this whole response typed out before my computer crashed and it got lost in the void.

I’m gonna mince some details just in case it happens again, but I love this concept.

Luke’s a bad boy on campus. It’s hard to get him engaged in anything school-related, but the teachers just know that he’s got untapped potential, especially Ms. Harrison, the theater teacher.

The band is on Luke’s mind all day every day. And he gets in trouble at school a lot because of it- borrowing the instruments from the music room for a quick jam session, pasting their gig posters over Carrie Wilson’s student body president ones, parking their band van in the teacher’s lot (it’s a lot closer!).

But Luke’s latest scheme lands him in hot water with the principal.

He thought it was a great idea to hijack lunchtime and turn it into an impromptu Sunset Curve concert. He and the boys hid on the stage over looking the cafeteria and they even bribed the sound tech to help them out.

And in the middle of lunch, they burst through the curtains and started jamming out for everyone.

And Luke may have gotten carried away.

He may have jumped onto the nearest lunch table, treating it like his own personal runway, hopping and skipping over people’s lunches.

He may have miscalculated the space and so when he slid into a power stance, he may have spilled orange juice onto some poor girl’s homework.

He didn’t have time to apologize to the fuming girl before he’s up and running, inciting the now crowd of students into a riot with his music.

Let’s just say that tables were tipped over, food was everywhere, and Principal Lessa was not happy.

It was a success in Luke’s eyes.

But then Lessa pulls him into the office and oddly enough, for Luke, Ms. Harrison is present. That’s where they give him the ultimatum: they suspend him and the boys for their little stunt, or they have to audition/ partake in Ms. Harrison’s spring musical.

And Luke bawks at the idea. Because they’re a rock band! They don’t do show tunes!

But he takes the deal, mainly so his parents don’t get any more pissed at him.

The boys all show up to auditions, and apart from Alex, the rest of them aren’t super into it.

He sits down in the auditorium, waiting of his turn, when he notices the next person up for audition- Julie Molina.

He sorta knows her. Their moms are in book club together. When she auditions, Luke notices two things- 1) her voice is killer and 2) the script she’s holding is stained with orange juice.��

Whoops.

She hops down the stage and catches his eye and she glares at him. And given the round of applause and Ms. Harrisons’s praise- Julie Molina seems to be the queen of the theater department. And Luke managed to have pissed her off.

Great...

Then he goes up to audition, all ready to half-ass it because really doesn’t want to be a part of the play. So when it’s his turn, Luke doesn’t take it seriously- he purposefully flubs the words, he doesn’t act from the script- instead reciting a monologue from the Simpsons that made everyone, but Julie, laugh.

Ms. Harrison only nods, and notifies him that the cast list would be put up at the end of the day.

Luke, thinking he tanked it, doesn’t bother to stop in front of the cast list posted like everyone else does at the end of the school day. But when he tries to pass, everyone’s eyes are on him, including his friends’.

“Um... Luke,” Alex says from his spot in front of the bulletin board, “You might wanna see this,”

He pushes past the crowd until he can read the cast list.

Oh no.

He made the lead.

Luke’s confused. He thought he put on the worst audition ever?

“Congratulations,” he hears from beside him and he sees Julie, arms crossed, not the least bit happy.

And that’s when he reads the rest of the cast list- Julie’s the other lead.

They’re going to be love interests.

When it’s time for rehearsals, it’s an utter disaster. Luke’s never been in any production ever, so being part of a team, that’s not just him and the boys, is throwing him off.

He can sing yeah- but he dancing? Acting? Not his forte. And Julie knows this, and gets so frustrated with him whenever they rehearse a scene together.

But when it comes time to the duet- oddly enough, they sound great together. Amazing even. Luke wants to say that ever since hearing how their voices complimented each other’s, Julie eases up on him a little.

Some weeks go by, and slowly but surely, Luke and the boys are warming up to theater culture. Alex, Reggie, and Bobby seem to be having a good time learning their parts and making new friends with the cast and crew, and pretty soon Luke and Julie form a tentative truce.

One day, Luke closes his locker and gets spooked by Julie leaning beside him.

“Hey,”

“Hi?” They don’t talk during school. Only at rehearsal. So this is new.

“How much of the songs have you memorized?” Okay, right down to it, Luke thinks. But it’s Julie- theater is her life.

“All of them, don’t worry,”

“And your lines?”

“...”

“I thought so. You called my character by Kayla’s character’s name. Do you even know what this play is about?”

“Of course I do,”

“We’ll see about that,” Julie then scribbles something on a piece of paper and hands it to him, “My place. After school. We will be running lines,”

Luke starts going to Julie’s almost every other day to go through lines, and also because he needs all the help he can get when it comes to acting.

Some days are good, others- well, are left to be desired, but Luke tries to get Julie to loosen up and he coaxes her into taking breaks and going out to eat during their one-on-one sessions. And he starts to find himself actually enjoying her company, and she with him- even if she’s reluctant to admit it.

But over time, Luke starts to get a schedule down, now invested in the musical, he makes sure he gets to school on time, gets through his classes, rehearse, and days when he’s not rehearsing- he’s with Julie, working on their stuff.

Luke’s mom notices a change in him, and even though it’s more music stuff that he seems to be getting up to, she doesn’t mind. And when Luke sees that his mom smiles every time he mentions that he’s off to see Julie, he knows their moms have definitely been talking to each other.

When he would get to the Molina’s, he would pass Rose, greet her, and say that he’s going to be running lines with Julie.

“Right,”

“We are,” he insists, one time, after catching Rose smirking.

“It’s just, I’ve been in theater myself when I was younger. I know what ‘running lines’ mean,”

And to say that Luke shows up blushing to the garage where Julie was waiting was an understatement.

But as much as Luke and Julie are killing it in their performances, there’s one part that trips Luke up.

There’s a scene where their two characters confess their love for each other, following a group musical number, but Luke can’t get into it.

He throws the script in frustration at the couch, “This is hopeless.”

“No, you’re doing good. It’s just missing something,” Julie says, pulling him closer to her, “You’re reading the lines. You’re not saying them,”

“What does that mean?”

“You need to channel the character. His thoughts and feelings in the moment, and you embody that. You show the audience that,”

“So what do I need to do?”

“You need to look like you’re in love with me, okay?”

“Okay,”

They run it a couple of times before they do it at rehearsal the next day. And after he and Julie go over their love confession, Luke inwardly curses himself because he couldn’t focus and he was worried he messed up in front of everyone during such an intimate scene.

But once he concluded, Julie is looking up at him with an expression he’s never seen before, in surprised awe, and he could see a faint blush on her cheeks. And she ends up stammering into her part- something the Julie Molina never did.

Everyone in the production applauds them- Reggie, Alex, and Bobby look at Luke, wide-eyed.

Flynn comes up to them to show them the footage she captured of their rehearsal and Luke is stunned to see that his acting isn’t as terrible as he thought. In that moment, he really looked like he was in love with Julie as he said his lines.

And then it hit him.

The reason he couldn’t focus is because he had been too busy staring into Julie’s beautiful brown eyes, relishing the touch of her warm hand in his- and he didn’t even try to act, he said the lines as he normally would if he was talking.

He didn’t look like he was in love with Julie.

He was in love with Julie.

It gets awkward between them since then, and they haven’t been able to recapture that same spark as their previous performance. And now that they have gotten their parts down, there’s no need for Luke to keep visiting Julie any more, and they only see each other at rehearsals.

And then it comes- opening night.

They run through it without a hitch earlier before and everyone’s all excited for how it’s gonna play out.

Luke sees his parents out in the audience, chilling with the Molinas, and he stomachs his nerves before walking out and to perform.

The production is successful, only minor mishaps occur (aka Reggie’s props keep falling apart, so he had to make due with invisible ones for the time being).

And then it comes to the finale, the big scene. Luke goes in and delivers his lines, staring into Julie’s eyes and tries to channel the same feelings as before.

But when it’s Julie’s turn, she starts ad-libbing. She says her lines, but then she’s throwing in references that certainly aren’t relevant within the time period in which the musical takes place (”when you gave me your last strawberry for my frozen yogurt... I knew... I knew you were the one for me”), it makes the audience laugh but the heart was still there.

Luke’s confused until he realizes. It’s not Julie’s character confessing her feelings for Luke’s anymore.

It’s Julie confessing her feelings for Luke. Right there on stage. In front of everyone.

She went off-script for him...

After curtain call, and everyone is riding that post-opening night high, Luke catches Julie before she could go meet her family out in the hallway.

“Hey,”

“Hi,”

Luke pulls out his script, “Run it with me one last time?”

“Luke, what-”

“Humor me, please,”

Julie scans the script he hands to her. He’s circled their love confession scene, and when she reaches the bottom of the page, her eye catches a new, messily scribbled in stage direction.

“’And they kiss...” Julie reads, a smile slowly growing on her face, “...hopefully??”

They both laugh at the latter words, and Luke looks at her sheepishly.

“I mean... if it’s in the script, we gotta do it, right?”

“You’re such a dork,” Julie says before pulling him in for a kiss.

They pull away, and Luke has the audacity to smirk, “I believe this is what you call a ‘showmance’,”

Julie quirks an eyebrow at the new vocabulary, “Someone’s been paying attention.”

“I’ve learned a few things,” He nuzzles her nose against hers, “I had a pretty good teacher.”

“I have plenty more to teach you,”

“Oh really?”

“Like, for instance, how the warp party at Denny’s is a must,” She takes him by the hand and leads him out of the theater, giggling “Come on!”

They dash through the hallways until they come up on their friends and family, who were proud of their performances. Luke looks up from hugging his mom in time to see Ms. Harrison grinning at him and giving him a thumbs up.

‘Thank you,’ he mouths to the teacher.

Maybe theater wasn’t that bad of an idea after all...

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #juke #julie x luke #luke x julie #palina #julie molina #luke patterson #theater kids!#i wasn't one so forgive me #idk how often y'all rehearse #i assume a lot #and i heard the denny's thing once #is this true?#blue answers asks

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itsarealshitshow · 4 years

Text

Stray Kids’ reaction to falling in love with a fan secretly

Requested by anon

Pairing: Stray Kids x reader

Warnings: None

Author: Admin Wiki

Scenario: Each member has a secret fan account to keep up with their fans and to secretly interact with them. Eventually they make friends with a fan online who thinks they’re just another fan. However, now that the members have fallen in love with you, what will they do?

Bang Chan (Bang Chan or Bang Chris)

Chris already knew that stays knew about him having a secret twitter account. He started it as a way to stay connected with his fans and to see what they thought about recent comebacks or what concepts they want to see. But now he mainly uses it to talk to a special fan that captured his heart. You’d messaged him first wanting to become friends and mememates. At the beginning of the friendship, both of you agreed to keep your identities anonymous. However, it wasn’t too long before Chan was head over heels for you.

To be honest his first reaction is just staring at a wall thinking about the situation he got himself into. It seems unreal that he’s fallen for a fan he’s never even seen or met in person. He’ll want to come clean about his feelings but because you guys are anonymous he thinks it’d be weird. Chan will slowly start hinting that you guys should video call or show each others photos of yourselves. Eventually when you reveal your face, he will too.

He’s all like “let’s go on skype to see each other for the first time. It’ll make it special” and bam his face is on the screen. You were so confused and when it finally hit it was over for you. He’ll confess his feelings to you that same night and hopes that you like him too.

i mean if chan appeared on my screen i’d piss myself and be so flustered. i would definitely say yes to him. y/n is always living the life i want 😪

Lee Know (Lee Minho)

He’s literally only ever on his secret accounts once a month. He probably never remembers about them until Felix sends him something and is like hyung please look at this. However this one time, Minho noticed he had a DM from someone other than his members. This intrigued him and made him look at it. He quickly becomes more invested in the platform that his secret account is on.

He’s literally only on that certain platform for you. He hasn’t seen your face but your personality and mannerisms definitely ensnared him. Which is also something his members quickly realized. Felix teases the hell out of him about the fact that he only ever checks the app to see if you sent him something.

This also makes him realize that he likes you. Someone who he’s never seen, never met, never spoken to. It makes him question himself and his feelings for a little bit. bc to be honest with you guys talking to someone online is way different than talking to them in person. especially if you like them Without a doubt he tries to keep it secret from the members, but Chan figures it out way too fast. Chan being the absolute dad that he is, encourages Minho to confess to you. Chan’s encouraging works because Minho plans on confessing to you as soon as you know his real identity.

Seo Changbin

He’s both the person who never goes on his secret account and the person who’s always on the app. It stays the same even when you guys start talking. He can be on it for a week straight or he won’t be on it for a month. But of course when he’s on it he’ll take the time to actually respond to your texts. You always text him theories that you’ve seen and funny memes that other stays have made.

It’s before one of their comebacks when he’s writing songs that he realizes that he’s fallen for you. It’s something that helps inspire him during his slumps and that makes him happy to feel. He’ll keep it to himself for a long time but after his realization he’s definitely going to go on his secret account a lot more than usual. He won’t disappear for a month and will start to talk to you consistently. He can’t believe that he’s fallen for a fan. To him it seems like something that rarely happens and that he should appreciate.

Huang Hyunjin

He definitely has like a tiktok or instagram account to see what the fans are up to. I feel like he’s really good at blending in with his account, not making it too obvious it’s him. Cause Felix or Jisung would accidentally confess their real identities. He’s the one who started to talk to you first, wondering how you felt about their recent comeback and what you think their next one would be. You’d send each other memes, crack videos and so much random shit.

Eventually you’d be the one to ask if you could send each other photos of each other or maybe go on a video call because you’ve been talking for a while. You’re just curious and if he’s okay with it you want to see each other. He’ll send a photo of himself and be like ‘I don’t think you’ll believe that this is actually me’. So of course you’re like ‘Send a photo of yourself with Chan and the both of you with toothbrushes and teddy bears’. Something specific like that and he’s like 😐 girl I’ll just video call you.

He already had a crush on you before seeing you, but after being on video call together he quickly realizes that he needs to tell you how he feels before someone else snatches you up. He doesn’t care that you’re a fan because in reality you’re just a regular person who idolizes him. A while after you guys started to video call more frequently and he’s certain you’re good and the one for him, he’ll confess his feelings.

Han (Han Jisung)

He’s not as bad as Felix but seeing as they were literally born a day apart, they’re pretty much the same. He’s definitely got a secret twitter, instagram and tiktok. He’s on them as much as he can because they’re all really fun but we all know that he’s also writing songs and in the studio all the time.

When he starts talking to you it’s both of you clowning stays. You’re all like “hii I know we haven’t talked before but I like the stuff you post so here’s something I think you’ll like.” AND NO CAP HE’S PROBABLY ALREADY FALLEN FOR YOU. You guys talk a lot after that and there’s multiple times where he’s revealed his identity and that you just sit there all confused. He’ll quickly be like “haha I’m joking.”

Finally there’s a time where he suggests you two do a video call and you accept. But mans forgot that you’ve never seen each other and he answers your call both of you just sit and stare at the screen like 👁 👄 👁 . He’s “ahaha yeah um, hi. I’m Jisung, what’s your name.” He kinda panics about liking a fan but soon after that video call you two organize to meet. And when you finally visit him he’ll confess.

Lee Felix (Lee Felix or Lee Yongbok)

Felix knows that we know he has a secret twitter and tiktok account. It’s so painfully obvious. Of course none of us have found it yet so maybe we’ve already unintentionally interacted with him.

In not so new news, there’s a clown right here. When he first started his account he started talking to a select few people and quickly became friends with you. On multiple occasions he’s accidentally said things like ‘What did you think of my comeback?’ or ‘What do you think of my new hair colour?’ and send a photo of himself that hasn’t been posted yet. He quickly realizes his mistakes and covers them up by changing the sentence and posting the photo to the Stray Kids instagram.

It takes him a long time to realize that he likes you. It’s Chan who makes him realize it by asking questions about you and seeing Felix’s reaction. Every single time Felix immediately smiles which makes Chan tell him that he should confess. This causes Felix to panic. You were a fan and he was the idol you adored. Would you be with him because you genuinely liked him? or just because he was an idol?

He decides that he has to confess either way or else he might start drowning in his feelings.

Kim Seungmin

He doesn’t seem like one of the members who has a secret stan account. Like Chan or Felix stole his phone and downloaded it so they could scroll on it if they didn’t have their phones. One day he gets a notification from one of the apps Chan and Felix downloaded onto his phone. Curious, he opens it and sees that it’s you sending a meme and are like “Your comments are super funny here’s a meme I think you’re gonna like.” Seugmin was like “Oh uh sorry it’s my friend who uses this account I’ll show it to him for you though.” Quickly though, Seungmin starts using the account for himself and starts to befriend you.

It’s not until Felix accidentally looks at the texts you guys have been sending each other that he realizes just how he feels. He realizes after he gets mad at Felix and telling him it’s an invasion of privacy to just read these intimate texts. i mean it is but i’m more relaxed with people reading some of the texts that my friends and i have sent. He’ll want to confess to you pretty soon after that incident. To him it doesn’t matter if you’re a fan or not because he likes you for you.

I.N. (Yang Jeongin)

He’s like Felix and Jisung. He’s on his secret account all the time but no one really notices because he doesn’t make references all the time. He loves being on his secret accounts and talking to fans secretly. It makes him feel closer to fans when comebacks are close.

You direct messaged him first which is what made the friendship blossom. You two send each other memes of his members and of just random things, like shows you two watch. It takes Chan talking to Jeongin about you to make him realize how he feels about you. He gets super nervous about the fact that he likes you. This insecurity comes from the fact he feels like if he were to reveal his identity you’d like him because he’s an idol you like and not for him. He’s not going to want to confess anytime soon sadly because of his worries.

#stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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something I've not seen really brought up: did Salem just not tell any of her subordinates how The Hound was made or why she wanted the silver-eyed girl alive? Because it seems like a really quick fix to the whole "Cinder wants Ruby dead but Salem wants her alive". I'm pretty sure Cinder would be on board with capturing Ruby if she knew that Ruby would be turned into a grotesque monster made to fight and kill her family and friends.

Considering the whole villain gang seemed surprised by the Hound’s presence in the whale and then it died, Salem “died,” and the entire thread was dropped for the rest of the volume: no, not to my recollection. Frankly, I don’t think the writers knew why Salem wanted Ruby alive between Volumes 4 and 6, maybe 7 too. I personally never got the sense that the story was treating this as a mystery. The villains are trying to kidnap Ruby, the villains tried to kill Maria, but no one prior to Ruby’s scene on the mansion steps put two-and-two together to ask, “Why am I different?” Only we, the audience, did the work of theorizing on our own, leaving the actual text just feeling like an excuse. Why wasn’t Salem out to kill Ruby in Volume 4? Because she’s the protagonist and she can’t die. It’s a lot easier to explain her miraculous survival against so many odds if the villains are out to kidnap, not kill. Why do they want to kidnap her? Just generic, villainous reasons. The story never encouraged us to pay attention to that, we just did because we’re invested in the show and constantly hope it’s better than it actually is.

As you say, back when Cinder was focused on killing Ruby (which is also a motivation that’s been dropped. Neo cares about Ruby now whereas Cinder only seems inclined to kill her in as much as she’s inclined to kill anyone who gets in her way), this would have been an easy way to keep Cinder in line. Vague, “I need the girl alive” doesn’t keep Cinder from potentially screwing up your SEW plans in an effort to seek her own revenge, but “I need the girl alive to make her life a living hell” just might. But again, that threat didn’t stick around for long because Cinder’s own motivation kept slipping. By Volume 5 she’s ignoring Ruby to fight Jaune and attack Weiss. By Volume 7 she’s outright telling Neo that going after Ruby is what she wants, Cinder is focused on Fria, then Penny. And the concept of mutant grimm made out of SEWs was never on anyone’s radar, including the villains’, which is just one of the reasons why the grimm!Summer idea reads as silly to me, rather than the horrifying revelation we’d been seriously theorizing about for five years (which is what you get when your characters actually question what’s going on and strive to find answers). Who was this faunus guy? How many other SEWs are there and have any others gone missing? Why didn’t Salem tell her minions about these plans? Why is this the first time we’re seeing this experiment? How is it done? Why the sudden change in MO? And if these experiments are so important — worth kidnapping rather than killing for — why didn’t Salem ever check in on her Hound? Maybe express a little anger that it was presumably killed? The story nerfed it with a single silver eye blast + knight (clearly not the ace it’s originally presented as) and Salem forgets all about it, reforming and then blasting off without a care. Is this really a nefarious plan if the woman implementing it doesn’t seem to remember it exists?

Motivations in this show only stick around for a couple of episodes at a time, a whole volume if we’re lucky. The concept of Salem telling her minions about these experiments implies that there’s a long-term writing plan here that’s influencing the characters’ choices. I really don’t think there is. It’s more likely that this was a cool concept introduced for Volume 8, we’ve likely dropped it now for new, cool island stuff, and it’s entirely up in the air if we’ll ever come back to it. Will there be an actual Summer arc, or will the story leave things at, “Oh no, mom is grimm dead rather than normal dead-dead, that made us sad for a scene”? It’s impossible to tell with RWBY nowadays.

#rwby #mymetas #Anonymous

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shoutaaizawas · 4 years

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Can I request a Shinsou villain!au (where he is a hero and reader a villain) with: “how is this my fault?” And if you can choose 2: “do you even love me?”

when i say thank you for this request i really mean it, omg this idea got me so excited.

↳ shinsou hitoshi x reader → falling down

event: au prompts summary: it was just a mission, get close to shinsou and get information. how did it ever get this far? word count: 2.6k+ tags/warnings: angsttt, i’m sorry, but it has a happy ending a/n: wow this got out of hand but i really loved this idea so much. might eventually do a follow up piece.

What if? What if things were simple. If you were a normal woman and he was a normal man. If the biggest problem in your life was picking where to eat for dinner? But things never were that simple were they?

You were a villain that was something you had always been okay with. You had your reasons that you felt justified in being one. The hero association had torn apart your family it was only right that you got your revenge. That’s how you ended up with the league of villains.

What you hadn’t expected was being used as a double agent. They needed information and your face wasn’t known to anyone as a villain. You were the perfect fit.

Shinsou Hitoshi was a risky pick but he would have the best information. So they set it up. It was like a movie, the classic meet-cute. He saves you from a villain attack set up by the League.

The next day you bump into him at the local coffee shop quite literally. Coffee is all over your new shirt and he’s a gentleman. He offers to pay for the shirt and buy you a new coffee even though it was you who bumped into him.

At first, it seems like it might be easy, becoming a part of his life. It’s not hard to get him on a date. No, it’s when you try to get closer. Building that intimacy and trust is not easy.

Shinsou tells you about his childhood, how he struggled with his quirk. People bullying him calling him a villain. How cruel they were to him and how he felt like he could never trust anyone. You could relate to how he felt, you had a similar childhood.

You suppose that’s when things started falling apart. The sting of guilt in your chest surprised you, it had been a long time since you felt bad about anything. You worked hard to burn the guilt out of yourself but you hadn’t worked hard enough evidently. The thought of gaining his trust that was so guarded from the world made you sick. You pushed it down. This was a job. This was for your family.

“The world doesn’t have to be so cruel, you can trust me.” Your guilt was understandable what wasn’t was the fact you wished that they were true.

Slowly but surely he fell for you, any time he had free was with you. Date nights were common but he preferred spending nights at his place cuddled up playing video games with his cat wedged in between you.

“I have a hard time sleeping but when you’re here I have no problem.” He said into your hair as you rested against his chest.

Wrapped up in his arms you felt so safe and loved, listening to his heartbeat. Safe wasn’t something you had felt since you were a child, something that had been taken away from you a long time ago. It was a distant memory.

Since you lost your family you lived on the streets, barely making it through. Stealing was the only way you had been able to survive. When you were a teenager you were thrown into prison for your thievery. What kind of hero saw a starving kid and threw them away?

By the time you got out you had fully realized your purpose in life, the hero association had been the reason for your family's death. Heroes had only every hurt you when you needed help the most. If life wanted you to be a villain then you would be and you’d burn to the ground the organization that had taken so much from you.

Even among villains, you didn’t feel like you fit in. You were constantly watching your back waiting for danger. You had long given up the concept of a safe home where you were cared for.

But laying in Shinsou’s arms was a taste of that life you craved underneath it all. What you wished you had all along. But you were on a mission, he was your target and if he knew the truth about you he would hate you to your core.

A tear ran down your cheek in mourning of the life you’d never have.

Shinsou had gotten hurt at work, you rushed to the hospital and stayed by his side. When they released him and you stayed with him at his apartment helping him while he healed.

His arm had been broken leaving him pretty helpless with things around the house. He protested but you stayed with him cooking for him and cleaning up around the house. It was nice, it felt so unfamiliar and comfortable at the same time.

Sitting on the couch, Shinsou resting between your legs, you softly ran your hand through his hair as you watched TV. He leaned back, looking up at you with gentle eyes.

“Thank you.” He said. “For being here for me.”

“Of course,” You said. “I’ll always be here for you.”

In moments like these, it was easy to forget everything else. To pretend that your life was perfect. The way he looked at you made your head swim, your heart melt. He trusted you, cared about you, maybe even loved you. That made you happy until reality hit and you realized you had him right where the League wanted him.

It had been a perfect night, Shinsou took you out for your six month anniversary. After a nice dinner, he walked you through the park, standing underneath a gazebo lit up he gave you a stunning necklace.

“I just want you to have something that shows just how much I care about you.” He said, looking down into your eyes with his intense purple gaze.

“I-” You were choked up, the emotion in his voice was overwhelming. How you wished that you were normal and this was a normal happy relationship. You were suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to cry but you disguised it as happiness. “I love it, ‘toshi. Thank you.”

Shinsou leaned down wrapping you in his arms and kissing you deeply. You cared about Shinsou Hitoshi far more than you were ever supposed to.

He dropped you off at your apartment and as you walked inside you were met with a familiar face. Dabi.

“Wow, what a beautiful necklace. Your boyfriend must really like you.” He said in a teasing tone. “You looked real comfortable out there kissing him like that, too comfortable if you ask me. I know we picked you to play the part but something tells me your not that good of an actor.” He said circling you.

“It’s none of your business how I get things done.” You shot back. You didn’t like the tone in his voice.

“Which is why I’m here, what information do you have?” He asked.

You had been able to gather a small amount snooping around his place. It wouldn’t be enough to satisfy the league but it would keep them at bay for now.

“I’ll be leaving but a word of advice. I wouldn’t get too invested if you ever feel like running away to play house forever with your purple boy it would be very unfortunate for the both of you.” He threatened as he stepped out the door. You wanted to yell at him but that would only further his suspicion.

But one thing was true, you were in too deep. You loved Shinsou Hitoshi.

This was bad. You had been on another task for the League, it was supposed to be simple but everything went sideways. Shinsou had been there and now he was chasing you down.

He didn’t know it was you, of course. Your villain costume kept your face and hair hidden away but if he caught up to you. If he found out who you were- No. You wouldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t know. You could imagine his hurt expression and it made you sick. You had to get away.

Thankfully you had an advantage, you knew how is quirk worked. You knew to keep your mouth shut no matter what you heard so you’d avoid his mind control. That didn’t get rid of the fact that he was athletic, more athletic than you it seemed because he was gaining on you.

Turning down an alleyway you hoped to lose him but he followed and unfortunately for you it was a dead end. You prepared to scale the wall in front of you buy your foot was caught and you slammed into the ground as he pulled you back with his capture weapon.

“Gotcha.” He said as he approached you with a confident smile, his mask resting around his neck. The capture weapon was now wrapped around your waist, pinning your arms to your side as he got closer.

You struggled, desperate to get away. This couldn’t happen. No, this was the nightmare you had been having for months now.

Shinsou now stood over you looking down at you.

“Now let’s get rid of this.” He said grabbing at the edges of your mask.

“No-” You screamed out but it was too late. The mask was pulled up, leaving your face bare and your identity out.

Shinsou’s eyebrows drew together, eyes wide, and mouth open. The look of confusion, then denial, then heartbreak.

“You-” He stuttered out. “No, this isn’t right.”

“’Toshi, I swear I can explain.” You begged, tears welling up in your eyes.

“Don’t call me that.” His tone was biting, you had never heard him so upset much less have it directed at you. “You’re a villain-” He started then stopped as if he couldn’t wrap his mind around what was happening.

“I never wanted to hurt you.” You tell him, suddenly you wished all of the times you doubted what you were doing you had stopped and told him the truth. Told him what happened, why you did everything, how you wanted to leave your life behind and start a new life with him.

“You didn’t want to hurt me!?” He yells and you flinch. “You were using me? You work with the League, don’t you?”

“They wanted information. They assigned me to get it.” You say softly, it makes you sick admitting it to him.

You never wanted it to come to this but in hindsight what else was going to happen? People like you didn’t get happy endings no matter how much they wanted them.

“I was just a mission for you.” He says almost in disbelief. “It trusted you. You listened to me pour out my heart time after time and you played the part of the perfect girl and fed me lies!”

“You weren’t supposed to be so nice.” You start. “Heroes are evil, that’s all I’ve ever know since I was a kid. The hero association tore apart my family, heroes punished me for trying to survive. They’re all monsters.”

Tears are burning in your eyes now, your breaths heavy as emotion overwhelms you.

“But then I met you and I thought you were just good at hiding it.” You continue. “But you weren’t, you were genuinely good. You care about people and helping them. I hated heroes so much but every single day you tore that hate down with everything you did. If you weren’t so selfless and kind. Why did you have to make me question everything I ever thought about the world?!”

Tears are running down your face now. Your world had been turned upside down by Shinsou Hitoshi. You knew what the world looked like but after knowing him you questioned everything.

“How is this my fault?” He asks, using everything in him to not let his tears fall. He takes a shaky breath in trying to process your words. “Tell me this, did you even love me?”

“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.” You said through your tears. “But everything I said to you, I meant. Every bad day I helped you through. Every touch, every hug, every kiss. I meant it all.”

Shinsou stares at you and you can tell he’s trying to decide if your lying or not.

“What made you hate heroes so much?” He asks, trying to keep his tone even. “Please tell me you have a good reason, I can’t bear thinking the woman I fell in love with is some thoughtless monster.”

Fell in love with? The statement makes your heart flutter than drop. He loved you. Loved. There was no way he could love you after everything you did to him. The betrayal you left him with.

“My parents were heroes. They got in too deep with the commission and when they disapproved they were killed for it. They put me in a foster home but they were cruel. I ran away grew up on the streets but I had to steal to stay alive. I hated it so much but I was so hungry.” It’s hard not to tear up more remembering your childhood. “When a hero caught me I was thrown in jail. When I was in there I realized that I didn’t want to be a good person, I wanted revenge. So I joined the League to do that and then they assigned me to this…”

Shinsou’s eyes had softened over the course of your story.

“I’m sorry.” He said, his voice thick with emotion as he kneeled down to get to your level. The capture weapon around you loosened but you didn’t move a muscle. “You didn’t deserve any of that. It’s not fair.”

“I promise you, everything I felt with you it was real. Everything I said to you about how I felt I meant it. I’ve never loved someone, I’ve never felt so safe around another person. I’m so sorry for hurting you, I’m a monster. I don’t know how to make it up to you.” You cry, looking down.

What you don’t expect is the soft hand at your chin pulling your gaze up.

“You had a hard life. Most people would make the same choices you did. That’s behind you, if you want to change you can.” He said. You didn’t believe his soft tone. “If you leave everything behind, the League, your revenge, I’ll help you. We can deal with what happened to your parents the right way, were no innocents get pulled into it.”

“W-Why? Why would you help me after everything I did to you?” You ask.

“I love you,” His words make your heart skip a beat. “I want to help you and I will but only if you promise me you’ll turn away from it all.”

“That’s all I wanted.” You say, tears running down your face yet again. “I just never thought you could forgive what I’ve done.”

“I forgive you, just don’t do it again.” He teases with a smirk. You let out a laugh that sounds more like a sob.

“Thank you.” You sob reaching forward to hug him. Burying your face into his shoulder as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Thank you so much.”

His arms circle around you pulling you even closer. One hand holding the back of your head.

“I love you.” He says. You look up at him with watery eyes, tears leftover in his as well.

“I love you so much.” You tell him. He leans forward catching your lips in a kiss.

As he holds you in that alleyway it hits you. Things are going to be okay, they may not be easy but you know Shinsou will be by your side through it all. You know that you’ll get the safety you craved, the loving home you always desired. And that’s how you know it’ll all turn out alright.

#shinsou #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #hitoshi x reader #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #miakosorana

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hlupdate · 3 years

Link

He spoke to Billboard about Styles’ intensive training process -- and why he wouldn’t be surprised to see him dancing onstage again.

There’s been one pretty overwhelming reaction to this video: “This is the guy who was in the group that insisted they couldn’t dance?!” Did you expect this kind of reaction to Harry dancing?

I’ve been with Harry for 10 years: I was with the One Direction boys from the beginning the whole way through their career before they took the hiatus, and they always made a very conscious decision that they didn’t want choreography as part of their brand -- but they did want a kind of disheveled organization in order to allow the cameras and the lighting to stand a chance in terms of presenting them in the best manner possible.

Where did the initial dance-centric concept come from?

Harry and the directors, Ben and Gabe [Turner], sent me a video link to the Nicholas Brothers scene from Stormy Weather and Harry asked me, "How long do you think it would take to dance like this?" I was like, "OK, are you being serious?" "Yeah, I’m being serious."

How long did the whole process take?

We started in mid-January 2019, and we rehearsed and workshopped for about four to five weeks before the shoot, every day. Both Harry and Phoebe had other things going on, so, for instance, Phoebe was working on the new Bond movie in Canada, so I sent my assistant to Canada to work with her. I stayed in the U.K. with Harry, and then we went to L.A. where Harry shot two more videos, for “Watermelon Sugar” and “Falling.”

#harry styles #articles #tpwk #120121

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dwellordream · 3 years

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A Six of Crows Review: Kaz V through Kaz VI

Previously

On the positive side of things, the reveal of Kaz’s backstory and how he and his brother were conned of their life’s savings and left to starve on the streets is well done. I have to give credit where credit is due in Kaz V. Bardugo very effectively shows the differences between the innocent and playful little boy Kaz was and the cruel and spiteful young man he’s become with the recounting.

On the negative side of things, the efforts by the author to get the reader invested in a burgeoning relationship between Kaz and Inej falls totally flat. Not just because Kaz is a dick who can’t work out that he should probably thank Inej for saving all their lives, but because the narrative keeps insisting to us that there is chemistry and mutual romantic feelings between the two of them, but never really bothers to show it.

Kaz is mean to girls he likes. Inej thinks he’s attractive. It doesn’t go much deeper than that. It feels like Bardugo is far more committed to the relationship than even her audience would be, and we’re nearly at the halfway point of the novel.

I still don’t see why I should want the two of them to be together. I mean, Jesus, there’s more depth between Nina and Matthias, and Matthias’ entire character and backstory is rife with fucking Nazi imagery!

Matthias II does a decent job at continuing to develop his character and his relationship with Nina, though at times it does veer into ‘walking camera’ territory before the flashback to the shipwreck begins.

I find it a little unrealistic how easily Nina falls into a pretty friendly manner with Matthias after they wash up on land, even if she doesn’t think he’s much of a threat to her with them both exhausted and sick from hours swimming for shore.

Cracking jokes with the man who captured her to take her to her death seems a little weird, and it doesn’t seem like this is supposed to be taken as shock induced hysterics. I would think she’d have harsher words for him than ‘big idiot’ and ‘prude’.

And if I never have to read Matthias ‘indecently round’ comment again, I’ll die happy. Is Bardugo aware she can just call a character fat? Heavyset? Chunky? It’s not a dirty word.

Bardugo does try to confront this disparity - the obvious passion between Matthias and Nina, in contrast to the fact that he has been raised to hate all grisha and to an extent still does - with the scene of the pyres. Nina does get in some good lines - “Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?”, while Matthias defends his prejudice by pointing out that Ravkan grisha soldiers destroyed his home and slaughtered his family.

This is where the real world connections fall flat on their face. Bardugo puts in some pretty obvious connections to actual historical atrocities, such as the witch trials that occurred across Europe during the Renaissance, and the Fjerdan’s whole national image pretty clearly taking some cues from Nazi Germany.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, men fight to protect the fatherland, women stay home and have more pure Fjerdan children, grisha are demons on this earth and lower than dogs who must be exterminated for the greater good… If the latter is unintentional, damn, it is one hell of a coincidence.

But the point is, while real world minorities are guilty of nothing but existing, fictional minorities such as the grisha are depicted as dangerous and capable of wide scale destruction. Real world racism, antisemitism, and other forms of intolerance isn’t based off anything except prejudice, paranoia, and convenient scapegoating.

Yet in Bardugo’s world, there is real basis, and that’s where it gets thorny, and where this novel really, really could have used some sensitivity readers.

And while Matthias II does get at some actual thought provoking conflict between Matthias and Nina, it’s almost all undone in Nina II, which has Nina seemingly forget most of the massive fight she just had with him, and start thinking about how she wants to kiss him again. This, after she just saw the horrific evidence of what Fjerdans do to grisha.

I understand what Bardugo is trying to do, cutting between their current conflict and their reluctant bonding in the past, but there’s just not enough substance to it. I don’t buy that Nina would so easily come to trust, even love, someone dedicated to killing her kind. I don’t buy that Matthias would so easily fall for her.

And I especially don’t like the false equivalence that the narrative tries to bring about by suggesting that Nina is ‘just as guilty’ as Matthias for turning on him when they made it back to civilization. Matthias somehow can’t connect how what he hates her for; falsely accusing him, having him imprisoned, chained up in the belly of a ship, is exactly what he’d just done to her.

Why should Nina have trusted him, just because he became infatuated with her? He hardly changed his mind about all grisha, he just became attracted to one. Matthias does deserve punishment for his behavior. Is rotting in prison for the rest of his life the solution? No, but neither is getting to walk away scot free.

Nina reveals that she in fact accused Matthias of slaving to spare him the worse fate of being captured and brought back to Ravka to be tortured and executed as a druskelle.

Honestly, I don’t think this reveal was necessary at all. I could excuse and even welcome some spite from Nina towards him. Instead this just paints her as this all-compassionate, pure-hearted angel willing to repeatedly sacrifice herself for the sake of both friends and enemies. I like Nina, but I’d like her better with more bite to her.

Inej V unfortunately takes us right back into walking camera territory for her. This could be any character narrating this chapter, and it does little to nothing to develop her.

The travel descriptions are also not terribly interesting and I don’t think the pacing is handled all that well; the book started fast, got even faster and choppier as the Crows came together, and is now grinding into a dull slog ever since they landed in Fjerda, which is a much more thinly sketched setting than Ketterdam.

I think it might have made better use of the book to work it out so all the events took place within the confines of the city, to add to the themes of how Ketterdam can make or break any one of them, but too late now.

It’s even more insulting when contrasted with Kaz VI, which continues to detail Kaz’s backstory, which is where Bardugo is at her strongest. It just emphasizes that this book would have worked better with few characters, tighter characterization, and a plot confined to Ketterdam and its mundane capitalist horrors. It’s too thinly stretched between multiple POV characters, half of whom are barely developed, the other half of whom are frustratingly botched in their development.

I know jack shit about Jesper and Wylan, and it’s aggravating. I still know very little about Inej. Kaz, Nina, and Matthias get the most attention, and Kaz still isn’t very believable or compelling in the present, just the past, whereas Nina and Matthias’ intertwined story is an awkwardly arrayed mess of conflicting ideals and poor characterization decisions.

I only have about a hundred pages left of this book, and right now it’s hovering at like a C- rating. Not badly written enough to be offensive or infuriating, but still firmly stuck in some mediocre traction that, with more stringent editing, could have been resolved.

There are some good plot ideas and good character concepts here, but they’re lost in the mire. I’m barely even invested in the actual heist plot, which just doesn’t feel as urgent as it should, and the characters are not compelling enough to make up for it

#six of crows #in review #kaz brekker #nina zenik #matthias helvar #ya lit

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