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linkspooky · 3 years

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THE TOP THREE HEROES ARE ALL FAILURES

In the sense that Enjdeavor, Hawks, and Jeanist all embody the failures of the hero system. The first clear sign that all three people who were set to inherit All Might’s Legacy would fail in doing so, is that none of them really understood what kind of hero was in the first place.

Endeavor only ever saw All Might’s Strength, and thought All Might’s genuine desire to save people was just him playing to the crowd. Hawks thought Endeavor’s desire to surpass All Might was heroic, and what made him a better hero because he didn’t give up when everybody else said it was hopeless, but we the audience know Endeavor gave up early and took it out on his family instead. Best Jeanist thinks what’s most important of all isn’t saving people but rather “The Image” of Heroes to the public. Except, the only reason All Might was a hero obsessed with image is because he wanted even those he could not reach to be able to live in peace and save themselves.

The top three heroes are all lacking in what All Might had, in that none of them actually believe that Heroes should save people. Enji believes in strength above all else, Hawks in sacrificing one’s self for the faceless masses, and Best Jeanist in the image of heroes to the public.

It’s really showing that the option of “Saving Dabi” did not even occur to them once, despite the fact that they are completely willing to give a helping hand to the man who made Dabi.

The current number one, two and three heroes are all obsessed with All Might’s Legacy, however all of them are failures to All Might’s Legacy as well because they don’t understand the underlying ideal of heroes saving people. All three of them represent the failures of hero society, which is why they aren’t shown being overly concerned at hero society’s victims. Even when it’s revealed that one of hero society’s greatest villains Dabi, was actually one of hero society’s greatest victims too, created by one of their own, their beliefs barely change.

1. Enji Todoroki

Enji was never concerned with saving others being the job of a hero. His one and only focus was just to be the strongest. He even has a shallow view of All Might’s ideals and goals because of this. He thinks the reason that All Might won number one was because 1) his all powerful strength and 2) his popularity with people.

Enji never once mentions that All Might became the hero he was, because his number one priority in every situation was to save as many people as he could. Because, Enji doesn’t view it as the job of heroes to save others.

Toshinori worked so hard because he genuinely wanted to be the shining light for others. He didn’t become the number one hero because it was his own personal dream, but rather because it was others needed of him. All Might isn’t a perfect hero either, but there’s still a difference between someone who wanted the number one spot because he genuinely thought it would save the most people, and someone who wanted the number one spot because he wanted to be the strongest.

Even after Endeavor’s supposed revelation where he saw Shoto being gentle with flames, rather than forceful and violence, Enji became the exact same kind of hero he was before.

Think of the way Enji fought Shigaraki, burning him alive. He made several attempts to kill him during their fight, even though the rule is heroes absolutely must not kill, that’s what makes them different from villains. Heroes prioritize the safety of people, and saving civilians, except for Endeavor apparently. Endeavor as a hero is the exact same kind of hero he was before, and the flaw with that is if he had fought Dabi the same way he had fought Shigaraki.

He would have burned his own son alive. Enji isn’t even concerned in the least with saving people, even when the person most in need of saving is his own son. He sees villains as an absolute evil for him to punch and beat up in order to prove his own strength. The only way Enji knows how to be a hero is violently taking down crime and no one has ever challenged this, even though it’s the exact attitude that led Toya to his death.

Enji, only ever taught Dabi how to turn up the heat, because Enji wasn’t actually that concerned with his son’s well being. Toya was only worth something to him when he was strong, so Enji only ever taught Toya how to be the strongest hero and nothing else that a father should teach his son. Even now, Enji doesn’t let go of this idea of his that he has to be the number one hero, and being the strongest hero will solve all of his problems.

Endeavor has used playing hero again and again as an excuse to run away. Now that Hawks is giving him another chance to be hero, he’s enabling him to run away again.

It’s incredible how still even after the reveal, it’s always Toya who has to pay for the consequences of Endeavor’s mistakes. Toya is left alone to burn to death and spends the rest of his life covered in burns forgotten by his father, and it’s Endeavor who gets the unconditional support and love Toya needed as a child offered to him, just because he happened to be a hero. If he was a villain he would have just been locked up.

Endeavor is framed as the hero who does not give up, and yet, he very easily runs away and lets Toya take the blame for the majority of his actions. If Toya had been able to carry his dream he would not have abused Shoto. If Toya had not died that day he would not have doubled down even harder on Shoto. Toya’s the reason they could not come together as a family. It’s never Endeavor’s actions, it’s always, somehow, Toya who is blamed, and Toya who is burned as the consequence of Endeavor’s actions. Now, Toya is the one who needs to be stopped when Enji is just as guilty.

I’m not saying that Enji should not be given a chance to get better, but why is the good side of Enji’s actions expressed over and over again and not Toya’s? Toya is trying to reform all of society. Toya is trying to hold his dad accountable for abusing him and neglecting him to the point that he died. That’s murder. Someone who lets their children die because they couldn’t be bothered to supervise them can be charged with involuntary manslaughter in a court of law. Enji has killed too, but rather than admit to his own flaws it’s must easier to cast Toya s the villain that needs to be stopped and himself as the hero that needs everyone’s support.

Toya deserves the same chance that Enji got.

2. Hawks

Hawks only saw self sacrifice in All Might’s actions. He saw someone harming himself over and over again for the sake of others, and that’s probably why he admired Enji’s pursuit of strength more because it was the opposite of him.

If Enji is the extreme result of the attitude that villains can’t be saved, only stopped by putting themselves down with violence, then Hawks is the extreme result of self sacrifice. Hawks seems like the ideal hero on paper, he would do anything, and give up any part of himself to save a faceless stranger just like All Might. However, Hawks also has decided that he has the right to sacrifice others as well.

Hawks is self-destructive. That’s the extreme end of self sacrifice. However, unlike All Might who took the burden entirely on himself, Hawks will choose others to sacrifice as well. If Hawks sees himself as a tool for the greater good he will extend that to others as well. If Hawks sees himself as a bad victim who turned his back on their parents, he extends that to others as well.

So basically, Hawks’ number one problem is with himself. He can’t reconcile his past. He feels guilty for being abused by his parents. He feels guilty for not forgiving the same abusive parents. He puts everything he has into being a hero, and yet, he doesn’t feel like he himself is a hero. Hawks’ only way he knows to feel good about himself is to continuously sacrifice himself for the sake of others.

Because he learned when he was young the only way to be good was by sacrificing himself to protect others. He only received the help he needs because he showed he was “one of the good victims” but deep down internally he feels like he’s the bad one, for not being able to do anything for his mother, for not reaching out to her.

Hawks can’t see himself as a victim and it messes with the way he sees other victims as well. He divides them into good and bad, and then tells himself that he’ll offer to help the good ones, the ones willing to improve. Hawks’ represents Hero Society’s own willingness to throw the bad victims to the dogs.

It’s specifically Hawks who Twice calls this out on. So we have a number one hero who thinks the only way to deal with villains is to violently suppress them, and the number two hero that thinks the only people who deserve to be saved is the ones he deems as “Good” or “Trying to be better.”

It’s all because Hawks has this really self destructive idea of what kindness is. That kindness is somehow destroying yourself for the sake of others, that it’s being overly forgiving and not holding any resentment at all.

It’s like how Deku acts like forgiving his father is a kind act. However, at the same time implying that holding onto resentment would be an unkind one.

Even though the reason Natsuo won’t forgive is because Toya is dead, and Enji never showed any apparent remorse for it, and didn’t try to fix anything. Even though one son died because of Enji’s training, and then Enji just decided to train the one remaining son he had left a thousand times harder. Natsuo is attempting to hold his father accountable for his actions, but Deku acts like blanket forgiveness would be the kind thing to do.

Even though Deku himself is willing to overlook all of Enji’s past abuse of Shoto, and his murder of Toya, but at the same time stresses how unforgivable Toya and Shigaraki are.

Deku just saves people in a self destructive way. He breaks his bones to save others, thus mirroring Hawks who just saves people without genuinely thinking through who needs to be saved. They save people, because that’s the way they hurt themselves to prove how useful they are. However, neither of them actually goes through the trouble of thinking who genuinely needs saving, and that’s why they’re able to carry such a false double standard. Enji needs help because he’s trying to be better, whereas Toya’s not trying to be better. Ignoring the fact that you know, Enji tries to be better by just, forgetting everything he did in the past and sweeping his past actions under the rug, whereas Toya is still suffering from the scars of Enji’s abuse, permanently on his body.

However, between Twice a person willing to die to protect his friends and act of complete selflessness, and Enji who can’t even bring himself to think that maybe he should try to save the son he let burn to death on a mountain peak which one do you think was trying to be better? Enji who spent ten years, even after Toya had already died to his training, training up Shoto instead even harsher. Enji who referred to Toya as “a failure” and “almost perfect” when talking to Shoto about his death.

“I’m going to help anyone trying to be better” is just an arbitrary line that Hawks draws.

That’s even the critique that Twice levelled at Hawks. Hawks doesn’t care because he never actually tried to see the good sides of the other people, but Toga was someone who comfotred Twice and understood him. Toga was someone who made the league feel like home. Hawks labels Twice as the only good one, because he just didn’t bother to see what was good about the other villains. Yet, at the same time he strains himself to see the good in Endeavor, to the point where he constantly apologizes for Endeavor’s actions and sweeps them under the rug. Endeavor is a good man who is just misunderstood in Hawks’ eyes, who just went wrong somewhere, but Hawks can’t ever offer up the same sympathy to the worst victims of society. Who lash out and hurt other people in the same way that Endeavor did, except Endeavor’s is excusable and there’s isn’t because...???

Hawks is in denial, because he refuses to look at the good sides of the villains. Twice didn’t choose to accept his offer of help, so obviously he didn’t want to be better, therefore Hawks is perfectly justified in putting him down. Notice though how Hawks mentioned prison time for Jin, but not for Enji (neglecting a child to the point where they burn to death is... still a crime).

Hawks is still in denial about himself. He thinks he’s offering people a helping hand. However, from Jin’s perspective we see how manipulative he is. Hawks didn’t offer Jin a hand, he held him at gunpoint and told him to surrender and betray his friends. Hawks is just lying to himself, because he didn’t go out of his way to save Jin, he ruthlessly manipulated him, and then betrayed him. He’s not framed as a hero trying desperately to save a villain, but rather a friend betraying another friend who trusted him. Because, Hawks does not just sacrifice himself. He’s the extreme result of self sacrifice. Self sacrifice turns into self destruction. Self denial. Hawks sacrifices other people. He forces himself to dirty his hands, because he believes this is the only way he can be a hero. He’s too weak individually, so he has to manipulate, pull strings, and even kill in order to achieve the results he thinks will save the most people. However, by doing that he ignores the suffering of the victims right in front of them.

Not only that, but he ignores what contradicts his simple black and white narrative. Enji was trying to be better so he deserves help and support, Twice didn’t want to be better so Hawks revoked his offer of support away.

He’s willing to give support to a man who abused his family for no good reason, and who continues to evade any consequences or legal punishment for his actions, but then insists that Jin who was pushed to his actions by poverty and not wanting to starve to death just did not want to be better. He’s like, so unaware of what the problem actually is with society, he can’t possibly think why Enji leaving his own son to burn to death might have left his son a bit miffed. Enji is just a person who made a few missteps along the way but genuinely wants to be good, Dabi is just a selfish person who doesn’t want to be better, so says Hawks.

Nevermind how hard Toya tried to be a hero, and how he never gave up on earning his father’s love. Nevermind how hard Twice tried to be helpful to other, and how much he loved the people around him he was willing to sacrifice his life. Twice’s last action was to save his two closest friends. Enji’s actions are always just to beat up villains to prove how strong he is. Enji is never concerned with anyone. Hawks does want to save people, but he never thinks about the people who need to be saved.

Therefore, heroes are always good. Even when heroes do bad things, Hawks contrives some way to not hold them responsible for it ever. Well, Enji isn’t like that now. Well, we don’t need to announce that Enji was an abuser, because that will just upset the public.

The actions of Enji are apologized for over and over again. Because rather than holding him accountable for his actions. Instead of pushing him to actually fix his mistakes, it’s better to keep sweeping the problem under the rug. Because, as is repeated again and again heroes don’t save people. When a hero fails to save someone, rather than trying to fix that mistake it’s easier to blame the person who didn’t get saved.

Even if it was your own son that you left to burn to death. That is somehow miraculously alive. That has given you a second chance to save the person you should have saved that day by just, showing up, and actually acting like a father for once.

Enji will just choose his job over and over again. Because heroes don’t actually have a responsibility to save people. Being hero is just a job. Enji, Hawks, Jeanist they consider it a profession, not a responsibility. Which is why all three of them are willing to blame Dabi for his own actions, but not Endeavor for his. Which, just proves Dabi right.

Heroes aren’t actually concerned with saving people. Heroes don’t think about who is most in need of saving, and who the real victims are. Heroes just protect their own.

Enji, Hawks and Dabi are all murderers. They have all killed someone in pursuit of their goal. Not only did Enji murder a child by neglect, he also tried to kill Shigaraki several times over, and even tried to murder Pop Step in vigilantes. Hawks killed Twice in pursuit of a goal.

However, Hawks and Enji need to be supported, whereas Toya needs to be stopped. Because they are heroes, and Dabi is a villain. But sure, watch Dabi continually burn his own body over and over again and push himself to the very limit so he can achieve a society where another hero will never get away with abusing his family like Enji did his, and say that he doesn’t want to be good. Watch Toya burn himself over and over again as a child just trying to be a hero because he thinks it’s the only way to earn his father’s love, because he genuinely looked up to his father and wanted to be just like him, and insist that Toya just stopped trying to be better, that he was just a jealous child, that he was never good.

Jeanist isn’t a fully developed character so I’m not going to talk about him as much, but he represents the attitude that heroes “only pretend to save people” because they fuss ove image, rather than doing the actual work of helping victims.

The thing is someone who is genuinely trying to be better would listen to Dabi’s words, to Shigaraki’s words. However, Jeanist, Hawks, Enji all think of themselves as the hero, therefore they assume they are good and that their actions are good.

Whenever someone contradicts this, they just flat out ignore any criticism. Heroes don’t save people. Heroes just protect their own image as heroes, because they assume that’s what is necessary for peace. Even now, Hawks and Jeanist aren’t focused on the innocent people suffering from the victim break outs, but rather taking down the man out to ruin their reputations.

They pretend to see those they haven’t protected. Even when that person is Endeavor’s own son, his pain gets swept under the rug, because the image of Endeavor as a shining hero is far more important than the responsibility he has to help his own son, that’s in pain and need to saving.

#mha 303 #mha 303 spoilers #bnha 303 #bnha 303 spoilers #mha meta #hawks #takami keigo #endeavor #todoroki enji #best jeanist #dabi #todoroki toya

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writer-panda · 3 years

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Ruin and Rebirth - Chapter 1

Ruin and Rebirth

Chapter 2

Inspired by @jumpingjoy82 on Tumblr. Thank you for the amazing prologue.

I don’t own the characters, only the plot. Miraculous and Justice League belong to their respective creators

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"It's okay Marinette. Everything is going to be fine. You’re too young to understand, but it was for the greater good."

To young.

TO YOUNG!

It was all the Justice League's fault. If they kept their incompetent asses out of Paris, none of this would have happened.

Apparently, they just spontaneously decided to go through the Watchtower’s recycling bin, and what they found astonished them. Years upon years worth of pleas for help from Paris.

They decide to finally investigate, and it just so happens that it was during an Akuma Attack, and they threw everything the Parisian heroes were telling them out of the window, wanting to do things their own way.

Superman was one of the ones there.

And they learned just how far the Miracle Cure could go.

He decided to use his super strength and threw a car at the akumatized victim, who moved out of the way at the last minute, so the car sailed right through the Tom & Sabine Bakery, promptly, catching on fire, giving no time for the people inside to get out. No one got out alive.

Ladybug froze for a moment, before fighting with more determination than before, knowing that the Miracle Cure would bring them back.

She was wrong, which brings us back to this point.

"I don't give a damn about you so-called 'greater good' and now you’re telling me, that I'm too young to understand, but am I too young to experience it? Too young to actually see everything and everyone I love torn from me because of these heroes?! Why the hell are they here now? Where were they when this first started? What changed? And now, because of them, my entire family is dead!"

After that everything was hazy, but she knew, she hated superheroes.

They never knew when to stop, and just like Chat Noir, they expected to be praised for whatever happens, no matter if there were casualties or not.

The world would be better off without them.

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The sun has long since set over Paris. The fires were still burning in some parts of town. For the first time since Ladybug first appeared, the citizens of Paris felt true fear. It was ironic. They didn’t fear the akuma. They feared the heroes that came to their rescue. For the first time in four years, the casualties were piling up. And the akuma was responsible for none.

True, many of them initially asked for it. With each fight, Ladybug and Chat Noir were taking longer. It’s been obvious for some time that they were slowly being worn out. Some media started to criticize the duo, question their skills, age, their right to act in Paris. They weren’t part of the UN Justice League Charter. Their only real authority came from the trust of the citizens themselves. And that trust was lost. The civilian pleas to the Justice League increased in number and frequency. Under public pressure, the mayor had no choice but to issue an official plea for help.

But then, then… the heroes came.

In retrospection, almost everyone would agree that it was a mistake. Justice League was not used to fighting magical threats. They weren’t practiced in dealing with possessed villains. They didn’t understand. And they treated Ladybug and Chat Noir worse than sidekicks.

That flying chicken even dared to wrap Chat Noir in a metal bar so he wouldn’t get in the way.

Ladybug… tried her best. She allowed herself to trust the new heroes. She stopped saving every civilian from the rubble. She focused on the akuma. If heroes didn’t bother with the lives, it must’ve meant they trusted her cure, right?

WRONG

They were like a tank, riding through the city with a singular goal in mind.

It didn’t help that they deemed the akuma a “world-level threat”. Yeah, right. Stormy Weather was powerful, but the damage could’ve been repaired.

Or so she thought.

The volcanos, the tsunami, the tornadoes, the earthquakes? Those were fixed. The rubble caused by them was put back in place and those who suffered under them were better than new.

But not the damage caused by the heroes.

Not the bakery.

There was no magic in what happened. There was nothing to reverse. Those were human actions. For the first time perhaps, the people could see how much of the damage caused by the fight was the fault of heroes. How many deaths they caused. That is if they admitted, before themselves at least, that it was their fault.

And yet, the so-called ‘heroes’ dared to lecture her about responsibility. About the sacrifice of few for the lives of many. About the innocence of young.

She ran away. She managed to dodge them and vanish. Meld with the crowd when there were no cameras in sight and she was sure they couldn’t track her.

Now, Ladybug stood alone on the top of the Eiffel tower, with her yo-yo communicator in her hand. She sent the message fifteen minutes ago. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but at this point, she no longer cared. There was nothing more for her.

“He thought this was a trap.” A voice spoke from behind her. Ladybug twisted immediately, taking a guarded stance. She was still avoiding the Justice League after all. Before her stood… someone. She suspected it was an Akuma. The woman had pale skin and wore a black dress, black gloves, and a black veil over her face.

“It isn’t. I’m alone. The city suffered enough as it is today. I suffered enough.” Ladybug’s voice cracked slightly.

“I see…” The akuma pursed her lips. For a moment, a purple butterfly appeared over her face before the woman nodded. “Fine. Give me your miraculous and I will take you to him.”

“That isn’t going to work and you know it. You would just leave me stuck here. I’m willing to offer a token of goodwill though.” With that, Ladybug pulled a necklace and dangled it before the akuma.

“Is that…?”

“The miraculous of the fox? Yes. No tricks. I want to negotiate. In-person.” She made sure to emphasize the last part.

The outline of the butterfly appeared in front of the Akuma’s face for a moment before she silently nodded. “I can lead you to him, but not before you reveal your face.”

“Fine.” Ladybug didn’t hesitate. She was past that point long ago. There was no hesitation, no doubt… no regret. Not for her actions anyway. No more.

In the flash of light, instead of Ladybug, Marinette stood before the akuma.

“You’re…” the woman’s voice was stuck in her throat.

“I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

Tikki, floating nearby gasped in fear. The Kwami didn’t get a chance to explain before Marinette resumed her transformation.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

The two leaped from the tower and started to zoom over the city. At first, they remained silent. Neither wanted to speak. It was tense anyway. It was, of course, Marinette who broke the silence first.

“Your… your look. Have you lost someone today?”

The woman didn’t answer immediately. She appeared to be mulling over the question at first. Or wondering if she should answer.

“A… colleague; coworker. He was… a friend of mine you could say. We’ve been working side-by-side for at least a decade.”

“I see…” Marinette pursed her lips into a thin line. “I’m sorry.” She spoke up after a moment. “I imagine you blame me now?”

“No.” The akuma snapped. “You’re just a child. I put the blame where it belongs. With heroes. And with people who chose to invite them.”

“Not hawkmoth?” Escaped ladybug’s mouth before she realized it.

“He… he never wanted this either. He isn’t a villain you believe him to be.” The akuma hesitated for a moment, but Marinette could sense it was her own opinion. She filed it in her brain under interesting.

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When they arrived at Agreste manor, Marinette was surprised.

When they entered the study, she was baffled.

When they went down the secret elevator, she was angry.

When she stood before Hawkmoth, she was furious. And it wasn’t because he was her mortal enemy.

“So that’s why you neglect your only son?!” She screamed at him as soon as he turned to see her. His mouth moved, probably to give some excuse. “I don’t care if you want to rule the world or be a god or whatever. No matter what little sick excuse your brain found to justify your actions. You are not allowed to just ignore Adrien like that! He needs a father. He is a teenager and he needs you!”

“Madmoiselle Dupain-Cheng.” His voice was cold, but in a different way than she ever heard Gabriel Agreste or Hawkmoth speak.

“Gabriel Agreste. And I assume you akumatized your Assistant, Nathalie?” She pointed to the woman next to her.

“Astute observation, Ladybug. You risked a lot coming here to speak with me. I could take your miraculous now, or any other time. You gave me your most precious protection: your secret identity. So… what was that important?”

“I want to know. What is so important to you that you’re willing to go any length to get it?”

“That’s it?” Hawkmoth raised an eyebrow. “That’s all? You’re ready to risk everything over that little piece of knowledge?”

“Yes.” Once more, there was no hesitation. There was no doubt. Her heart had no place for doubts anymore. Her heart was still stuck under three levels worth of rubble.

“And what, pray tell, would you do if I told you?” He asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“That depends.” She could see he was now intrigued, so she started to explain. “On whether I like the goal or not. And on whether you understand fully the implications. If you pass, you will get my miraculous and I will deliver you Chat Noir’s miraculous too. If you fail, you still get my miraculous. But you will never get the ring. I made sure that if something happens tonight, he will retire. He will leave Paris and toss the ring into the ocean in a concrete box. You would be left to torture the city all you wish until the League found you, but the ring’s power would forever remain out of your reach. You would be left with nothing but a criminal record. And your son would sooner than later be left without both parents. Of course, you could abandon your crusade, but then I would’ve won. I’m not a naive girl without a plan. Not anymore.” She spat the last part angrily, but her gaze was not focused on Hawkmoth, but far in the distance.

“I… see. Clever. You’re right. This will probably end tonight.” He looked her over top to bottom. It was the first time he stood so close face to face with Ladybug. His nemesis.

Gabriel wasn’t sure if he was impressed with her, or infuriated. Scratch that, he was sure he was both. She outsmarted him. She was willing to make an ultimate sacrifice for the sake of ending the fight. In that very moment, in her determined expression, he saw a reflection of another headstrong woman he knew. It was as if Emilie’s spirit stood before him.

“So? How will it be?” she asked impatiently.

“Follow me.” He simply motioned for her and started walking.

Soon, the group entered a large chamber, lit by several lights. In the center of a platform in the far end stood a glass coffin. Even from the distance, Marinette easily saw there was a woman inside. She was quick to pass Hawkmoth and get there, even as he was trying to grab her.

When the akuma and Gabriel arrived, they watched as Marinette was carefully pacing around the coffin and muttering under her breath.

“She overused the damaged miraculous.” It wasn’t a question, but Hawkmoth answered anyway.

“Yes. Only the wish can bring her back.”

“You’re one of the biggest idiots in this whole city!” The girl screamed. “She is not dead, you moron. There are literally five different ways listed in the book which, may I remind you, you possess!” She continued to yell at him. “Hell! You could akumatize someone and give him healing power. You know… use the butterfly miraculous like it was meant to be used!” She scolded. “But nooo! You’ve got to be an idiot and immediately go for the most dangerous, imprecise, reckless, chaotic, risky solution there was! I’m sure she would’ve been ashamed.”

Gabriel was at a loss for words. Was it really that easy? It couldn’t have been. He checked several times. He would’ve known. The akuma left Nathalie, who collapsed onto the ground. Some tear stains were now visible on her face. “I… I was just… I did what she told me. Only the wish can bring back the dead.” He stammered.

“She. Is. Not. Dead.” Marinette made sure to punctuate each word. “She is in a coma. She is alive you moron. Tikki! Spots off!” The flash of light signaled the end of her transformation. “Be silent, little one.” She said in a caring voice. She couldn’t bring herself to take her anger on Kwami, but she couldn’t doubt now. “Akumatize me. Give me the power to heal her.”

The corruption left the akuma that was floating in the air, only for Hawkmoth to get his hands around the white butterfly and pour a new dose of power into it. It flew the short distance between them and sunk into Marinette’s purse. She smirked as the corrupted energy passed through her, turning her into an akuma. That is until she could see how she looked.

“I’m not sure how you can call yourself a designer and yet dress me in this!” she complained. Her skin was now deep red, the color of blood, and her clothes turned into a white nurse uniform. Still, she walked to the coffin and easily opened the top. From her purse (now medic’s bag) she pulled a needle and injected the content into Emilie.

When the beautiful woman started to move, letting out an exhausted groan, Marinette sighed in relief.

“Wha… what’s going on… the last thing I… Gabriel!” She bolted upright and immediately moaned in pain. Her hand instinctively flew to her back. “Gabriel Agreste! Did you keep me in this coffin for a whole week!?” She yelled at her husband. “And who’re those two?” She pointed at Marinette, who was smiling next to her, and Nathalie, still exhausted on the floor. “You were supposed to only reveal this to Adrien if anything happened to me. There was no talk about your assistant and… um, who’re you?” The woman turned to the akuma, who sighed and tore a strap of her bag. The butterfly left the item and Marinette reverted back to her normal form.

“I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’m… was… used to be Ladybug.”

“But you’re just a kid. And why was Ladybug active… Gabriel!” She roared and her husband took a step back.

Marinette was… surprised. She didn’t expect Emilie to be like that. From what Adrien told her, she was supposed to be the kindest, nicest person in the world. Then again, he might’ve been looking at it through tinted glasses.

“Yup.” The bluenette couldn’t stop herself from commenting. “He decided that the best way to wake you up was to get the miraculi of Ladybug and Black Cat.”

“You nincompoop. That plan was only for when I was dead.” She glared heatedly at her husband and Marinette couldn’t help but be a bit smug. “And you couldn’t get the items from a kid? How many other heroes are there?”

“Only Chat Noir. He’s my age. And I sometimes call in some help from others.” Marinette supplied quickly. She was having entirely too much fun from watching Emilie tear Hawkmoth a new one.

“Two kids! You couldn’t defeat two kids! I leave for just one second and you start getting your rear kicked by kids!”

“He also neglected Adrien for the last two years.” Marinette decided to have as much fun as she could while it lasted.

“Gabriel Agreste. You’re officially grounded until I sort this mess. Now take your secretary and leave. I will sort the mess with you later,” she ordered. Her husband could only nod and leave as quickly as possible.

Marinette was now holding her sides laughing. ”That was amazing. Merci Madame Agreste. I didn’t think I would get to laugh tonight… But this was too good.”

“Oh sunshine, don’t worry. I will get him in line for you. Whoever decided to let kids fight for them was clearly sick or senile.”

“Master Fu was… he made some mistakes. I… maybe if I wasn’t so young…”

“It’s not your fault. Whatever you blame yourself for. You shouldn’t have been responsible for Paris. Or whatever else my husband did. I think some time on the couch will do him great.” The woman got up and walked over to pull Marinette into a hug. She then led the girl back to the (now half-open) coffin and seated them both on the edge. “Why don’t you tell me what ails you? I’m sure I can help.”

For a moment, Marinette looked the woman in the eyes. Then, she started talking. She told her everything.

About a class full of idiots who believed every lie and actively fought against her.

About Lila, who manipulated everyone and did everything to turn her life into a personal version of hell.

About the teachers, who preferred to let her be walked on then do their jobs.

About her partner, the dorky cat who couldn’t take life seriously and at times was immature. She came to like his antics, but he infuriated her as much as he kept her sane.

About the so-called heroes, who came into the city and ruined her life.

About the destroyed bakery. The four bodies inside.

“It was her birthday. Today my nonna had her sixtieth birthday. We were celebrating when the Akuma happened. Except the Justice League came. Funny thing. The cure can return anyone killed by magic. It can’t return those killed by aliens tossing cars around.”

“Do you have any other family?” Emilie asked, worried about the girl. She walked through so much pain in her short life.

“My uncle… but he lives in Shanghai now. Papa was the only child and Maman moved here from Asia… I’m not sure what will happen next.” The girl revealed.

“Next? Next, you will come live with us. No strings attached. I have no need for your earrings or other miraculous and I can keep my husband in check. I owe you that much.”

“I… you don’t owe me anything, Madame.” The girl quickly protested. “You’re not responsible for what happened. I don’t blame your family. Those were the American heroes who killed my parents. They were the ones that destroyed half the city. They are the ones to blame,” Marinette informed the woman in a solemn tone.

“And that’s why I want you to stay with me. With us. I can protect you. Teach you. You can have your vengeance on those who wronged you. I can make you a queen. They will regret the day they wronged you.”

“I… I accept.” Marinette bowed her head.

#miraculous #maribat #justice league #dc #dcu #dc comics #ladybug #evil!Emilie Agreste #hawkmoth #bamf marinette

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

No one should of trusted RWBY+ with fucking anything, let alone saving the world (LIKE REN SAID THEY SHOULDN’T BE MAKING DECISIONS ON) and now look. Two cities destroy, millions dead or homeless, and Salem half-way to completing her goal that might get everyone killed. Yeah, Ozpin totally should apologize for not trusting these idiots.

At the very least the story might have pulled some plot strings to "prove" that Ozpin should have trusted them from the start. Like with Oscar succeeding with Hazel. We know that success required him to go OOC and that in a story with more consistent characterization/realistic reactions from its cast, Oscar would have definitely failed... but that doesn't erase the fact that he didn't. No matter how badly executed, the story essentially argues, "Oscar was right to trust Hazel because look, Hazel helped him" and we might have gotten something similar with the group: "Ozpin was wrong to mistrust them because look, when they learned the truth everything got better."

But, uh... things got so much worse.

The group drove Ozpin away rather than proving that they were actually different from everyone else who learned about Salem. Then they nearly lost the Relic at the farm. They tested the fragile trust between the kingdoms by stealing from Atlas and in doing so got a Leviathan to attack a city. Then they lied to Ironwood - the exact thing Ozpin supposedly shouldn't have done to them. They actively divided their allies - you know, the thing Salem wants. Not splitting the group to complete two separate tasks, Ruby - by turning on the Ace Ops and Ironwood. Ruby told everyone about Salem, which realistically should have caused massive grimm attacks across the entire world. They lost the Relic because they never bothered to put it in the vault. They also ended up losing the last question because of that. They lost the Staff because they stupidly took it out of the vault. Their Maiden was killed, again. An entire populace is displaced and currently getting picked off by grimm. They knowingly, willingly, and deliberately destroyed an entire kingdom when they didn't have to.

Oh, and then five out of ten “died.” If there was any part of Ozpin that held back out of worry for their safety, that’s been proven correct too. They weren’t strong enough, or smart enough to survive this war. Within just a few months they were (we’re meant to believe) killed.

Putting aside, for the moment, that a story needs conflict and failure on the part of its protagonists, everything that has happened since Volume 6, to my mind, proves Ozpin right. Not just in terms of "Wow, when I tell people about Salem they hurt and betray me" but also "Wow, somehow I don't think this group of teenagers with one year of training is ready to be the linchpin of this war." Because that's what they wanted by demanding every secret: to be at the very center of the fight, to be making the tough calls, to play at being the world's hero. The problem is, their idea of a hero is still someone who fixes everything with an epic punch to the face. When that fails... they crumble. Cue Ruby sitting around in the mansion half the volume. Should Ozpin have trusted his inner circle? It's debatable. Lionheart ran to Salem the second he learned of her immortality, Qrow sunk deeper into his alcoholism and gave up the fight, but Ironwood took it in a stride and kept pushing forward. Theodore we don't know yet. So it's pretty up in the air whether that would have assisted Ozpin, or just made things worse that much faster, but then that's not really the question here. Should he have told the group? Should he have deliberately made these teens generals in this war? The plot says, "Absolutely not." Because when they made themselves the generals through force - stealing the question, lying to Ironwood, defeating the Ace Ops, hijacking Amity - things have consistently gotten worse. Nothing we've seen on screen the last three volumes says, "See? Look how much better things are once Ozpin was forced to trust love and put his faith in this team."

And what slays me is that the show so desperately tries to backtrack on this with the fight between Ren and Yang:

Ren: Are you kidding?! We don’t know the first thing about being Huntsmen. We clearly weren’t ready.

Yang: Were we not ready when we saved Haven? When we took down a Leviathan? We got the Lamp to Atlas.

Ren: And then we lost it! And after that, when we had to make real decisions, we got every single one wrong.

Yang: I’m not going to pretend like we did everything perfectly, but if we’d done nothing, things would be even worse than they are now.

Ren: How could they possibly be worse? We are stuck out here while Salem has the Lamp and Oscar. We’ve got no plan, no army.

Yang: We’ve got the Maiden!

Yang is forced to omit so much information to make the team look good here and Ren is only allowed to point out one (1) thing she omits: "And then we lost it!" Yang fails to mention that they didn't save Haven, Blake's army did. So yeah, one member of the team, but it's not like they got in there and kicked epic ass. Weiss nearly died. The Relic was only saved because Raven decided she didn't want it anymore. The group barely held their own and then won due to good timing and the bad guys taking each other out/changing their minds. They were going to defeat two Maidens? Lucky them one Maiden took the other out and then decided to hand them the Relic.

Took down a leviathan? Funny how she fails to mention that they drew the leviathan there in the first place and that Cordovin's drill is what did it in. Even Ruby's eyes is a single person ability that only works on grimm, not at all useful for the human-based problems Ren is talking about. They got the Lamp to Atlas? Yeah, and then you lost it. Getting it to Atlas is literally meaningless when the villains still managed to steal it, that victory a direct result of the group's stupid decisions. It's like going, "I successfully got water out of the boat" and failing to mention that the boat still sank. Oh, and also you could have plugged the hole at any point and just... didn't. The boat sinking is absolutely on your hands. When pressed just the tinniest bit, all Yang can come up with is that they've still got the Maiden, someone who will be attacked, hacked, and murdered by the end of the volume. Everything else? "but if we’d done nothing, things would be even worse than they are now."

That's a very big claim from someone ignoring all her failures. And of course, soon after this Ren dares to use Jaune's lack of training as an example of how unprepared they are (valid), he gets mad, the duo later tells him to open up more (he literally just did), and then the story drops his anger for a semblance upgrade instead. RWBY banks on us just believing Yang, carried along by everyone - all the way through to Nora - going on about how Very Very Wrong Ren Is - because if you actually consider these themes of trust and ask whether Ozpin was wrong to hold back... there's not a lot to challenge that decision. The go-to argument would be, "The heroes made things better once they knew the truth, ergo, they should have known the truth from the start" but the group has continually made things worse. It's not even a temporary problem anymore. No matter that they'll inevitably win, Atlas is gone. They've done irreversible harm to the world and yeah, they're trying to do good, they're trying, but this isn't the story of some teenagers forced into a conflict and doing what they can with the hand they've been dealt. This is the story of some teenagers who forced their way in, so when things go wrong... that's on them, no matter their intentions. They are now responsible, just as much as Ozpin was responsible. Except the story refuses to admit that, continually positioning Ruby as an innocent child in need of reassurance, not the licensed huntress who stole control from Ozpin, lied her way into a new inner circle, attacked former allies to avoid the consequences of her own actions, and presented herself as the world's savior... only to then cry because she never had a plan to begin with. We've got a fantastic story here about how Ruby wasn't ready, none of her friends were, and their naïve belief that they were the heroes of this tale - running after the White Fang, then Cinder, then Salem herself - has done incredible harm within a delicate, multi-generation war. We might have started telling that story if the group had actually sat with Ren's accusations and admitted their mistakes. Instead, we're left with this ridiculous claim that no matter how bad things get, it's always better than the alternative of the group not being involved at all. Because they're the heroes, remember. Their goodness they provide is, supposedly, inherent. The only problem is we no longer have a plot that supports this claim.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas

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kittinoir · 3 years

Text

Phantoms Ch. 12

Read on Ao3

Adrien couldn’t think of a single place he wouldn’t rather be than anywhere else at that particular moment. He’d even trade places with Chloe, wherever she was, if it meant he could get out of this particular date.

Unfortunately, no switch - or miraculous rescue - was likely to take place.

It didn’t help that he’d just spent the majority of his afternoon with Lila’s nearly-naked body pressed skin-to-skin against his - the unfortunate reality of his father’s new swimwear line - while the rest of the team fleshed out their plan. He wasn’t ignorant to the fact that Lila had pushed nearly every advantage the skimpy clothing had given her, as much as he’d pretended to be oblivious.

But all Adrien had truly felt was frustrated; Lila was the last person he wanted to be around.

Pair it all with the fact that in a couple hours he and his friends would be infiltrating his fathers’ very private study, and all Adrien wanted to do was disappear into his four-nozzle shower until the steam melted him straight down the drain.

Things had slightly improved, at least: he was fully dressed now in a suit from his father’s last collection, still new enough to be considered on trend. Even as Adrien admired the fabric, he couldn’t stop the image of Marinette in a matching gown from entering unbidden into his mind. It would have been midnight blue and covered in a thousand little crystals that shimmered when she moved. She would have looked like magic and he would have been the luckiest man in the room.

But he’d never see her in that dress. She wasn’t his date tonight. If it was any consolation, he was willing to bet she was about as excited with her date as he was with his. Felix’s mouth had positively puckered when he’d discovered his part in their plan; it would have been funny if there had been anything remotely humorous about the situation.

But it was hard to laugh at much of anything when you might be sharing a home with a super villain.

“I’ll go over there right now,” Plagg had declared, half way through the wall of the fencing gym where ‘Adrien’ was supposed to have been that morning while Chat Noir patrolled. “I’ll prove it. I’ll sort this out, once and for all!”

But Adrien had stopped him. He couldn’t say it was truly for any one reason. At first he’d been erring on the side of caution: Adrien’s schedule was booked and he wasn’t due to return home until he arrived at the gala that night. He couldn’t be kwami-less if there was an akuma attack.

Then it had come down to practicality: if Adrien knew, he wasn’t going to just wait to pull off their plan. He’d cataclysm right through the floor. And unfortunately, the reckless part of him knew he wouldn’t tell Marinette about it, either, because she would try to stop him - and she’d be right. They needed the little time they had to plan.

But hours later, the waiting felt unbearable. Marinette had called with the details on his too-brief lunch break. It was simple - almost too simple. It required him to do the impossible: disappear in a crowd. Now Adrien’s skin itched with the pent-up adrenaline trying to burn through his system, begging for action.

“You ready, kid?” Plagg asked, drifting up over Adrien’s shoulder. Several empty camembert packages lay discarded on the couch in Adrien’s trailer.

“How does anyone prepare themselves for the fact that their dad might be the monster that’s been terrorizing all of Paris for over a year?” Adrien said instead. He wasn’t even being sarcastic, he genuinely wanted to know. Who could possibly come out of that kind of trauma unscathed? He doubted even Marinette’s magical ladybugs could fix that kind of damage.

“…I’m here for you,” Plagg said, unable to meet Adrien’s eyes in the mirror as he made the gesture. “You’re the best owner I’ve ever had. I won’t let you go through this alone.”

“You think it’s him?” As much as the facts lined up, as much as they always had, Adrien had never been able to let go of the hope that it was all one big coincidence. After all, what were the odds Master Fu would hand one of the most powerful Miraculous to Hawk Moth’s own son?

“I think even if it’s not, you’re going to have a hard time reconciling the fact that you thought he could be,” Plagg admitted as he came to rest on Adrien’s shoulder. “Don’t shut your friends out, Adrien. That’s how you spent months looking for her in the first place.”

Adrien blew out a hard breath, turning from the mirror. As usual, Plagg had no issue bringing up the one thing he didn’t want to acknowledge.

“I don’t know how to share this,” Adrien said as he reached for his blazer. “Because if I do, then that means that it’s all - ”

Real.

Even then, he couldn’t admit it. Not until he was sure.

“Lets get through this party first,” Plagg suggested, disappearing into the blazer pocket as Adrien slipped it on. “No point in unwrapping cheese you can’t finish.”

Adrien finally cracked a smile at that, but it died quickly as a knock came at the door.

He knew what he would find when he opened it, but that didn’t make it any easier to see Lila standing on the other side in a gorgeous red gown.

“Wow, Adrien, you look amazing,” she cooed, leaning in to run one gloved hand down his sleeve. “I wish I’d known which suit you were going to pick.” She pouted. “I would have dressed to match.”

He doubted it; the only way Lila dressed was to kill.

“Sorry,” Adrien said, begrudgingly offering her his arm. “My father chose it. I didn’t know which one it was going to be until after the shoot today.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Lila said, waving away his comment as they made their way to the car waiting for them out front. “We still make a stunning couple.”

He didn’t bother to correct her. She always insisted it was just a figure of speech or a slip of the tongue. If she wanted to live in her own fantasy, he wasn’t going to waste his time correcting her.

And yet, he found himself oddly grateful for her incessant chatter as they headed to his fathers’ fundraiser. Anything was a welcome distraction from what he was about to do.

“Ooh, look at the press, Adrien!”

The car ride hadn’t felt that long, but sure enough, she was right - they were already pulling up outside his home.

The normally stoic Agreste mansion was nearly unrecognizable. Enormous floodlights had been erected strategically around the house, and as Lila had already noted, piles of paparazzi were spilling out of the for-once-open gates. The sight of his fathers’ car had whipped them into a frenzy.

Alright then. Showtime.

Adrien waited until his bodyguard made it around the car and opened the door for them before alighting from the car. The man his mother had raised him to be made him wait for Lila, even going so far as to hold a hand out to help her from the car. Shame nudged him as she stepped smiling and waving onto the deep green carpet that led to the front door; she had her faults, but she wasn’t an evil person. He was upset with his father’s contracts more than anything. As frustrated as he might be, he didn’t want to embarrass her in front of these reporters. No one deserved that.

So he held out an elbow for her and smiled back as she took it, holding it even as a dozen flashbulbs went of in their faces.

As far as press lines went, it wasn’t the most painful one Adrien had experienced. Thankfully contractual obligations kept the reporters focused mostly on the fundraiser they were there to support, though every now and then they couldn’t help but to ask them if Paris’s heartthrob was locked up at last. Those questions Adrien was always quick to answer. The one time he wasn’t, Lila made a comment that implied if they weren’t yet, they would be, soon. It became a little difficult to maintain his generosity of spirit after that.

They’d nearly made it to the front doors when the flashbulbs erupted again.

Both he and Lila paused to see what the commotion was about, and Adrien felt his heart stop altogether.

She was so much more beautiful than he’d imagined she would be, but that was to be expected; he never could do her justice. She’d worn her hair down for once, a pink ribbon the same colour as her dress woven through the strands.

At that moment, he could have kicked himself. Contractual obligations be damned; he’d been stupid not to cease this opportunity with Marinette. He’d have done anything to be the one escorting her that night.

And just as suddenly, he realized he didn’t want to shut her out. Through the bad, maybe horrific things, for the good, possibly amazing things, he wanted to share it all with her. God, he couldn’t think of a single thing more beautiful than sharing a life with her. Even this night, this impossible evening, with the wrong girl on his arm and his father on the other side of the door, even if it made it all real…because it could be real.

“Adrien.”

Lila’s hiss drew him from his stupor, and Adrien abruptly realized that despite his best intentions, he’d likely embarrassed Lila anyway. He wasn’t actually sure how long he’d been staring after Marinette, but she and Felix had certainly drawn a great deal closer.

“Shall we?” he offered. He wouldn’t insult her further by apologizing; they both knew he wasn’t sorry.

“Of course,” Lila said. Her tone was sweet, but it set Adrien on edge. It was then he realized that Lila was now staring at Marinette, though she allowed herself to be guided through the doors.

“You didn’t say she was going to be here,” Lila snarled once they were inside.

“I didn’t realize you were supposed to approve the guest list,” Adrien said. “Regardless, I can’t control who my cousin chooses to bring as his plus one.”

Lila’s eyebrows rose. “Felix? She’s here with Felix?”

“She’s not here with me,” Adrien said. Regrettably. Stupidly. Pridefully.

That seemed to placate her. “That must be tough,” Lila guessed with empty empathy, leaning her head on Adrien’s shoulder as they entered the ballroom. The space had always seemed to Adrien to be nothing more than an embarrassment of riches. No one had balls anymore, and if they did, the Agreste’s wouldn’t. Still, his father had insisted it was historical and had had it restored with the rest of the home before they’d moved there. Regardless, it seemed to be the perfect place to hold that nights’ function.

“Father’s outdone himself,” Adrien said as they took in the crowded room, choosing not to follow Lila’s particular line of conversation.

“It’s spectacular,” Lila agreed.

Roses from their own garden had been woven in among some very realistic looking ivy that twined around the many pillars around the edge of the room. Mannequins displaying the pieces to be bid on were set between them. A string quartet was playing something jazzy in the corner, and several waiters were making rounds of the room with trays of champagne and h’ours d’oeuvres.

“Shall we?” Adrien asked, nodding to the floor where several couples were already dancing.

“Absolutely!”

Adrien let Lila pull him onto the floor and into a dance, even if she was closer than he strictly wanted her to be. The only person he’d ever danced this closely with before was -

He didn’t finish the thought. He couldn’t afford the distraction. It was nearly time; the only person they were waiting on now was Kagami.

“This is so nice, Adrien,” Lila murmured as they turned. “We’re perfect. Why won’t you - ”

“Don’t, Lila,” Adrien said, bringing them to a stop. “All we are is friends. All we will ever be is friends. And if you can’t respect that, all we will be is co-workers.”

Lila scoffed. “She’s here with another guy and still you won’t - ”

“Enough!” Adrien took a step back, until her hands slid off his shoulders. “This isn’t about her. It’s about me. And the truth is, she could tell me she hates me and I would still feel how I feel. You’re done. After tonight, consider yourself relieved of your duties. You don’t work for my father anymore.”

She looked as though he’d struck her, and some distant part of Adrien dimly thought that if he’d been trying not to embarrass her, firing her in the middle of his father’s fundraiser was probably not the best way to go about it.

“You…can’t,” she sputtered. “You can’t do that.”

“You’re right,” Adrien admitted, but Lila’s relief was fleeting. “But my father can, and he will once he hears about how unprofessional you’ve been.”

He almost wanted to laugh. He doubted neither he nor Lila would have much of a job after that night if they were right, but he wasn’t going to put up with this. Not anymore. He should have realized a long time ago she would never stop.

“Please, Adrien,” Lila said, latching onto his arm. “Don’t do this. I’m…I’m sorry, it won’t happen again, I - ”

The stupid thing was, he wanted to believe her. He wanted to give her another chance.

But he could still feel the press of her skin against his, and he knew he was out of chances to give.

“I’m sorry, Lila,” Adrien said. “You’ve left me no choice. Excuse me.”

He stepped out of her grasp a second time, and this time he didn’t stop walking until he’d made his way to the secluded table in a shadowed corner where non-alcoholic beverages were being served. He poured himself a drink, then another. He was almost to the bottom when Kagami finally slipped in with Max on her arm. He watched as she made eye contact with Marinette, then sought him out. He stepped forward into the light and caught her gaze moments later. A nearly imperceptible nod was all the indication she gave - and all they needed.

Adrien watched as Felix and Marinette left the room first, seeming to all the world like just another couple interested in exploring the house. His heart pounded, begging him to follow, but instead Adrien turned back to the remaining guests, counting down the ten minutes until he was supposed to leave as well. That was how long he’d estimated it would have taken him to extricate himself from his date; he hadn’t been planning on efficiency.

It felt like hours before the ten minutes was up, but when it was, Adrien gave one more cursory glance to the ballroom, scanning the faces for prying eyes. Lila had apparently thrown herself into the arms of the first person to show interest and seemed bent on illustrating, most likely to him, what a great time she was having without him. Still, he took a roundabout way through the room and exited through the gardens, as though he were simply looking for some fresh air. He wasn’t so naive to think she’d let his sleight go without an attempt reconciliation - or revenge.

Adrien made his way slowly through the gardens, looking for all the world as though he was simply enjoying the evening. At least he hoped he did. Even his acting skills were stretched to the breaking point against the torrent pouring through his head. It was wordless at least, but it blocked out everything else but this single task ahead of them.

Too soon and not quick enough, Adrien found himself in front of the doors to his father’s study. He didn’t give himself time to linger; the last thing he needed was to be spotted outside the doors. Normally they’d be locked, but Felix was supposed to have rectified that.

He knocked once, then twice, their simple signal that it was a team member and not a staff member, before twisting the long handle. The door gave without protest and he slipped inside.

“You’re late,” Felix said without looking up. He was kneeling on the floor behind Gabriel’s desk, running his finger along the carpet. He’d found the seam of the hatch, Adrien realized. Neither he nor Marinette had transformed yet, relying on the excuse of two kids overextending their welcome versus two superheroes actively breaking into Gabriel’s office should they be discovered.

“Did you have trouble?” Marinette asked. She seemed relaxed, but her eyes guttered - or were those just the shadows in the dark office?

“Took the long way around,” Adrien explained, calling on Chat Noir’s transformation before crossing to Felix. Chat Noir’s night vision would be more helpful than his ordinary eyes. “Found anything?”

“The hatch is in the same place as it was in the photo,” Felix grunted as his fingers slipped off the slender seam in the floor, “But other than that, nothing. No latch, no button, nothing.”

“Maybe he opens it from his tablet?” Marinette suggested, but Chat Noir shook his head.

“Nathalie holds onto that,” Chat Noir explained. “My father would want to be able to access the hatch at will, not page someone to activate it for him.”

“The desk then?” Marinette said as Felix stood.

“Pretty minimal for a desk,” Felix muttered as he began to run his fingers across the chrome surface.

But that was his father, Chat Noir thought bitterly. Minimal office. Minimal family. Minimal love.

They all paused as Max and Kagami joined them at last in the office. If Kagami was uncomfortable to be in the same room as her ex and the object of his affections, she didn’t show it. He owed her an apology when this was all over. He’d owed her one for some time.

“Not there,” Marinette said to Felix as Max transformed near the window. Kagami kept watch at the door. “Look. The hatch doesn’t match up with where you’re standing.”

Felix snarled in frustration. “So what does it line up with?”

“The portrait,” Chat Noir said suddenly, looking past his cousin to the painting in question. “There’s a safe behind it; it’s where the Grimoire was.”

“You think the mechanism to the hatch is in the safe?” Marinette asked.

“People like my mother and Gabriel Agreste are obsessed with convenience,” Kagami chimed in. “The mechanism is likely not in the safe, but perhaps in the frame of the portrait?”

“Good idea,” Marinette said, joining Chat Noir at the portrait. “It does line up from this distance.”

“And the angle of Queen Bee’s photo makes more sense,” Pegasus agreed as he analyzed the space between the desk, portrait, and where they were standing. “I knew something about it was bugging me. There’s a 98.6% chance Kagami is correct about the latch in the frame.”

“I like those odds,” Marinette said with a grim smile.

“Let’s hope the rest of the night is as successful,” Chat Noir murmured as he turned back to the frame.

He was vaguely aware of Pegasus using Voyage behind them, of Alya and Nino and Luka joining them in the office, of Marinette, always Marinette, just a few feet away, but it was all secondary to the portrait in front of him.

He’d always thought of the portrait as proof of his father’s grief. Now Chat Noir wondered. Was it one more deception? One more lie, spoon-fed to him so easily because he wanted so badly to believe it?

He found his eyes wandering, tracing the familiar whorls and patterns in the paint. How many times had he stood in his father’s office, looking just past his father’s shoulder at the portrait, knowing the berating would get twice as bad if Gabriel thought his son wasn’t paying attention? How many times had he sought comfort in the likeness of her gaze, in the imitation of her soft smile? How many times had he stood in his father’s office, willing Emilie to step from the frame and lay a restraining hand on his father’s shoulder?

But she never had, and Adrien had been left to weather his father’s moods alone. How many hours altogether had he spent staring at the painting -

Chat Noir frowned, his eyes snagging on a piece of the portrait.

“What is it? Marinette asked, noticing the change in him at once. Perhaps she felt it, as he often imagined he could when something went amiss with her.

“This part here,” Chat Noir muttered, raising a finger as if to touch the painting. “It looks…wrong…” How could he possibly explain that there was a shadow where there hadn’t been before?

“Whatever you’re thinking,” Marinette murmured, “Try it.”

Chat Noir hesitated for only the briefest moment before he reached out and pressed a finger to the canvas. To his shock, it gave way beneath his hand, sinking into the wall.

A button.

“It didn’t do anything,” Felix hissed, stalking up behind them.

“It wouldn’t,” Chat Noir shot back, scanning the portrait for more irregularities. “Convenient, yes, but careless? Father would never make something easily accessible.”

“So what’s the hitch?” Rena Rouge wondered out loud.

“My guess?” Max said, his transformation worn off, “Multiple buttons. Each one increases security exponentially.”

“So how did Chloe find it?” Viperion wondered. There was no judgement in his voice, just open curiosity.

“We can ask her when we find her,” Felix said tightly. “We don’t have much longer.”

Chat Noir hated to admit it, but Felix was right. They’d already been missing too long.

“Tikki?” Marinette called softly. The tiny red kwami poked her head out of a hidden pocket in the folds of Marinette’s skirts and briefly assessed the room before zipping up to hover in front of her holder’s eyes. “Do you mind? The portrait itself, not the safe behind it.”

“Mhmm!” Tikki gave a cheery nod before disappearing into the canvas in a cascade of red glitter.

“Maybe that’s how she did it,” Nino murmured in the abrupt silence. “Maybe Pollen found it.”

“It’s possible,” Tikki chirped as she reappeared. “Six buttons,” she explained as she bounced along each one, “That need to be pressed simultaneously in order to trigger the trap door.”

“Thank you, Tikki,” Marinette said as the kwami came to rest in Marinette’s upturned palm. “I guess…this is it.” She turned to look at Chat Noir, and he realized everyone else had done the same. It was his plan, and his father. They would go on his signal.

“Then let’s go,” Chat Noir said.

The team backed up as Marinette and Felix transformed. In seconds, Marinette’s voluminous ballgown had been replaced by the upgraded suit Chat Noir was still trying to get used to. Felix emerged from a bright white light in the silvery, wolfish suit he’d chosen, hammer at his hip.

“Good luck,” Max said before slipping back out the door. Chat Noir knew he would be heading back to the party. If everything went to plan, Max would be refuelling Kaalki for Alya, Nino, and Luka to slip out when they returned while simultaneously keeping a lookout for anyone headed to the office.

“My turn,” Rena Rouge said with a grin. “Mirage!”

Four perfect replicas of Marinette, Adrien, Felix, and Kagami appeared in the middle of the room, soft smiles on their lips. If someone looked closely, there was a vacancy in their eyes that belied their creation, but Alya was unlikely to give anyone that opportunity

“Go,” Rena Rouge instructed, barely opening the door for them. The illusions vanished into the hall, but Rena paused before following them. “I’ll keep it going as long as I can.” The plan called for her to refresh the illusion as often as she was able, keeping the foursome as far on the fringes of the party as she was able.

“Just do your best,” was Ladybug’s hushed reply. Her friend nodded, then disappeared.

“Now the hatch,” Chat Noir said.

Koira didn’t hesitate as he stepped up to the portrait and plunged his fingers into the buttons.

The hatch dropped away with barely a whisper and the same dark tunnel from Queen Bee’s photo appeared in the floor. Chat Noir’s excuse from that morning fell to pieces; it wasn’t a second safe. The passage was far too deep for that.

“Why didn’t she come for us?” Ladybug whispered as she stared into the abyss. “Didn’t she think we would help her?”

“With what?” Koira asked roughly, kneeling by the opening. “A hole in the floor? She wanted more proof. She went to get it.”

Chat Noir could sense there was more to it that Koira wasn’t telling, but he couldn’t tear himself away from the passage long enough to think on it.

Even then, Chat Noir knew what they were going to find. Felix was right. Chloe was right. Marinette had been right. He knew it in a way he couldn’t explain, the truth suddenly and mercilessly settling along his bones. Maybe a part of him had known ever since Marinette had first brought up the possibility, when she twisted his perspective for just a moment and the entire puzzle had fallen into place. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to know, and now he had no other choice.

“Let’s go.” He barely recognized his own voice, but he didn’t care. The cool rage that had consumed him blocked out everything else.

“Chat Noir…”

He felt a hand on his arm and shook it off. He knew who it was. He knew what she would say. But he was not sitting this out. He’d been sitting out for too long. If they wouldn’t go, he would.

So he stepped into the shaft and let himself drop for several seconds before bracing his hands and feet on the cool metal sides to slow his descent. He felt rather than saw someone slip else into the tunnel, then again, and again, and again as the whole team made their descent. A green flash briefly lit the passage as Nino erected a shield over the office, their last line of defense.

It felt like hours. It felt like seconds. But when Chat Noir finally fell those final few feet and plummeted into the brightly lit, cavernous room, it was as though fate had snipped the thread of his life and he’d fallen into a new reality - a new nightmare.

“Sonofabitch,” Koira muttered, straightening from his drop beside Chat Noir. “She was right.”

Chat Noir didn’t know if his cousin meant Marinette or Chloe. He couldn’t bring himself to care as first one, than three, then dozens of butterflies flitted by them. It wasn’t an attack, he dimly registered; there were just so many it was impossible to step anywhere without encountering at least one akuma.

He started as someone laced their fingers through his. He glanced down, and there she was, as fierce as ever, still standing by his side. Unflinching. He wanted to squeeze her fingers back, but he couldn’t feel his anymore.

Viperion dropped in last and briefly surveyed the room. “Should I…?” He touched two fingers to his bracelet.

“No,” Chat Noir said. His voice sounded a million miles away, as though someone else were speaking. “I need to know this. And I need to see this to be sure. My father…is…”

“Hawk Moth,” Ladybug said. “Viperion, Koira, Ryuuko, see if you can find Queen Bee. We’ll join you in a minute.”

The three of them nodded and split to tackle the room in different directions.

“Talk to me,” Ladybug said. He recognized it as a request from his partner, who needed to know if he could still be relied on.

So he reached for that confidence, that surety that had never failed him. Of course he could be counted on for this. Of course he would never let her down.

Instead, he laughed. It started as a short giggle, but once he heard it, he couldn’t stop, doubling over at the waist, tears streaming from his eyes as he laughed and laughed and laughed.

Through his fit, Ladybug didn’t let go of his hand.

In the dim recesses of the room, they heard Koira shout: he’d found Chloe. Chat Noir laughed harder: his father had really upgraded to hostages.

“What…are…the odds…?” he finally gasped, straightening in fits and starts. “The whole time…the whole time!” And just like that, it wasn’t funny anymore. He’d known things would get worse before they could get better. He just hadn’t anticipated how much worse, or how personally.

He didn’t see the akuma coming. There were so many of them in the room, it was no wonder. He only felt it as it sank into the bell at his throat.

One second they were standing there as unbridled rage poured through Chat Noir.

The next second, it felt as though someone had grabbed hold of that rage with two hands and yanked. Suddenly, he was choking on it.

Ladybug had started talking, unaware of what had just happened, but it wasn’t her voice he heard.

“So you finally found me, hm? Unexpected…but not unwelcome.”

The rage had taken on a life of its’ own, seizing Chat Noir in away he couldn’t understand or see past. Only one thought remained, nearly destroyed by the tidal wave: Hawk Moth couldn’t know.

“What can’t I know, Chat Noir?” the voice came again. “Your identity? Or perhaps hers…?”

“Hate…you…” Chat Noir thought back viciously. He wrestled for control, but it was no use. There was no way out of the emotions Hawk Moth had whipped up in him.

“Mmm, yes, I can feel that,” came Hawk Moth’s reply. “I’ll let you have your shot at me, boy - if you bring me Ladybug’s Miraculous.”

And Chat Noir wanted to. He was tired. He was tired of fighting. He was tired of fighting monster after monster, just for things to stay the same. He was tired of being lied to. And he was tired of letting Hawk Moth dictate the game.

Which was why he finally gave in.

“Yes.”

#Phantoms #Phantoms ch. 12

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angelltheninth · 4 years

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Nothing Left to Lose Analysis

Never even attempted a song analysis but here goes nothing! Let’s analyze the hell out of this!

[VARIAN]

Cassandra, you're angry, I get it. Believe me, I know what it's like, but you are making a mistake!

Alright, this beginning doesn’t really need explaining but I’ll do it anyways. Varian understands what Cass is going through, at least part of it. He’s felt anger, he let it consume him and in return he became a criminal who ultimately got jail time for his actions. As Cass’s friend he doesn’t want to see her make the same mistakes he made before.

The path of hate is a dangerous track

You take one step, and it's hard to turn back

It pulls you along, and though it seems wrong

It feels right

When Varian lost Quirin he felt anger and hate towards Rapunzel and the people of Corona, he wanted revenge and although he knew what he was doing was wrong he felt like there was no other choice. In “Ready As I’ll Ever Be” he even says “And I’ll stand up and fight, cause I know that I’m right”, in that moment he truly thought that his solution was the best course of action for him.

Don't you see

This path you're on leaves a permanent mark

It feels good at first, then it slowly turns dark

With each passing day, you're further astray from the light

Now for this “permanent mark” bit can be taken to ways. The first one is that Cass is walking down a path and the steps she takes down that path will never be erased. No matter where she goes next she’ll always be haunted by the path she once walked on. And that path, even though Cassandra felt good at first as seen in “Crossing the Line” has lead her deeper into darkness as she’s been following Zhan Tiri’s advice more and more. The second “permanent mark” is Cassandra’s hand. While we see that its covered by the armor of the Moonstone, its unlikely that its actually healed since that’s not what the Moonstone does. This will be an injury that Cassandra will carry her whole life, quite literally a permanent mark. Although the next set of lyrics follows the first interpretation.

Suddenly

You lose your way and lose the thread

Lose your cool and lose your head

Every loss is harder to excuse

As Cass goes further along that path she will lose the thread that lead her to the beginning of it, with no way back, lost in a maze of darkness and loneliness, something that we see at the very end of the song. She’s not thinking rationally anymore just fueled by anger and whatever Zhan Tiri whispers in her ear. She’s also been talking to no one but Zhan Tiri for several months, someone only she can see and hear, so from the perspective of someone looking that her it would seem like she’s lost her mind due to the Moonstone and months of isolation and loneliness. Even with everyone thinking she’s lost it she still making excuses that she thinks justify her actions but the more she makes those excuses the harder it is to justify the excuses themselves. Because she’s grasping at straws for excuses.

Then you'll see

You'll lose your faith and lose your soul

Till you lose complete control

And realize there's nothing left to lose

Nothing left to lose

This talks about Cassandra losing faith in her friends. Over the course of s2 we’ve seen how the fact that her advice was ignored and she was pushed aside affected her. That and the reveal about Gothel. Cassandra only has faith in herself, her power and Zhan Tiri because she “helped” her. But trusting Zhan Tiri is like trusting the Devil. In exchange for everything Cassandra gained she lost herself, she lost her family and her friends. And what’s left? An illusion of power and freedom created by Zhan Tiri.

Cass, trust me, becoming the villain isn't the answer!

Here Varian is once again referring to his downfall and becoming the villain in s1. But it didn’t get him anywhere even though he believed he can find the solution and successes by becoming the villain.

[CASSANDRA]

Is that what you think I am?

Now here, the main difference between Cassandra and Varian is that Varian admitted he was the villain in s1 and saw himself as such. Cassandra on the other hand doesn’t see herself as the villain at all. She doesn’t believe her actions are evil, and from her point of view they’re not, they’re justice no matter how twisted it is.

The path I'm on is a path paved in black

I'm taking that road and I'm not looking back

Each twist and each turn

Leads straight where I'm yearning to go

Cassandra choose her path, and even though its dark right now she believes that there is light at the end, her destiny, her reward. And even though this path isn’t straight and narrow, its complicated to navigate she doesn’t think she can get lost on it like Varian suggests. She belives she know her way around, that she has a map to lead her to her goal. That map is sadly Zhan Tiri. Not a very good map in my opinion. But Cassandra believes that by following Zhan Tiri she’ll get to the end of her path.

Yes, it's true, my path is dark

But I see where it ends

My rivals will fall as my power ascends

Despise me, that's fine

I'm taking what's mine even so

Here Cassandra once again acknowledges that her path is dark one, but she knows where the end is. At least she thinks that. Her rivals, Rapunzel mainly, will lose the power as Cassandra gains it. That’s what Zhan Tiri led her to believe, that Rapunzel has a piece of her power and that she has to take it back. Even though we know that the real goal was for Zhan Tiri to finally get her freedom. She doesn’t care if this makes Rapunzel and the other hate her she thinks its worth is if she can get what she wants. Furthermore I believe she’s expecting, hoping they hate her because she thinks it will somehow make things easier for her.

Not like you

You lost your nerve, you lost the game

But you and I, we're not the same

I'm not lost, this fate was mine to choose

Here Cassandra refers to Varian losing at the end of s1, something that she doesn’t think will happen to her. She sees herself as someone who has what it takes to win. She refuses to think that she’s lost on the path that she’s currently on, refuses to think that she can be lost because she believes that this is what she chose.

So I chose

To lose my doubts and lose my chains

Lose each weakness that remains

Now that I have nothing left to lose

Nothing left to lose

Cassandra doubted her abilities a lot in s2, her ability to server and protect Rapunzel, her ability to fulfil her duties. But now she doesn’t have those doubts and more and she doesn’t have her chains. The chains are her family and friends, but most of all Rapunzel, who is also her weakness. By no longer associating herself with Rapunzel, moving further away from Rapunzel’s own path she believes she’s found her freedom, and with that freedom she’s no longer bound to anyone and anything.

[VARIAN]

You have so much to hold onto

Varian is trying to convince her that even though she believes she has nothing and no one, her friends and family still believe in her, they’re not gone as Cass thinks they are.

[CASSANDRA]

I only want

My rightful dues!

Cassandra only wants her destiny right now, she doesn’t think about anything else because everything has been so twisted up by anger, rejection, loneliness and once again Zhan Tiri’s influence.

[VARIAN AND (CASSANDRA)]

Listen, please (Lose)

You've lost your grip

And lost your mind (I'm not gonna lose)

All's not lost, don't be so blind (I refuse)

Cut your losses, drop the IOUs (I refuse)

Varian like before believes that Cassandra lost her grip on reality and reason, that’s she spiraling further and further into madness. To an extent he’s correct because Cassandra isn’t in a right state of mind right now as I’ve previously explained. Cassandra however refuses to admit that what Varian is saying could be true. She doesn’t think she can lose. Varian also tries to tell her that she can go back, she can fix things, she just has to let go of her anger and resentment, she needs to see reason again. But she is also blinded by those feelings.

[VARIAN]

Ooh, choose!

Short and simple, Cassandra needs to choose to further walk down this path of darkness or she can return to the light.

[CASSANDRA]

I lose no tears and lose no sleep

What I want, I'll take and keep

Cassandra is convincing herself that what she’s doing doesn’t bother her, it doesn’t make her feel guilty or make her sad. But she’s also not allowing herself to feel those emotions. Yes, its true that Cassandra hasn’t cried once since this whole thing started, Cassandra isn’t the person to show emotion easily. At least not all emotions. The only ones she’s displayed so far are anger, hatred, and at times hesitation. Cassandra no doubt, has many repressed emotions but she can’t let herself feel any of them right now because if she does she could lose her resolve and everything she believes she’s gained.

[VARIAN]

It's time for you to choose!

Once again Varian asks Cass to consider stopping what she’s doing and turn back.

[CASSANDRA]

You can't stop

This although part of the next verse, is also Cassandra saying to Varian that he can’t change her mind.

[VARIAN AND CASSANDRA]

The turning of the screws

Cassandra’s plan is already set in motion, at this point she doesn’t think she can stop and doesn’t see the point in trying.

[CASSANDRA]

Now I have nothing left to lose

With distancing herself from everyone, and severing her connections to Rapunzel Cassandra has nothing left to lose. But she also realizes this means she really has nothing left anymore. Nothing and no one by her side. Now she’s completely alone. The way her voice breaking and the sad expression at the end suggest that she never really thought about it that way before, she never considered being completely alone, having no one there for her.

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #cassandra #tangled cassandra #tts cassandra #cassandra's revenge #varian #tts varian #nothing left to lose #song analysis

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evilrubberducke · 4 years

Text

IzuMina week Day 1- To Save an Emerald

Yeah, I’m a day late on this one. I blame the pandemic. On the plus side, this means you’re getting a double update from me today.

This is based on the day 1 prompt “Protection”

On a side note, I now have an actual EvilMuffinLord blog here on Tumblr. If you follow me for Mina content, you might want to switch your follow over to there. I’ll keep posting Mina stuff on this blog for the rest of IzuMina week, but after that I’ll switch over to the new one, and leave this for other fandoms/personal blogging.

Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23298604

Or on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13530836/1/IzuMina-Week-2020

Mina stood in the center of her dorm room, decked out in her pajamas with her phone in hand, contemplating making the worst decision of her life. The number was already punched in, staring back at her from the screen as if to taunt her into going through with it. All she had to do was make the call.

She honestly couldn’t believe the circumstances that had brought her to this point. They were so outlandish that if she had read them in a book, she would have dismissed it immediately for being too unrealistic.

Just a few short months ago she had rocked up to UA, flushed with victory from completing the entrance exam. She’d done an absolutely awesome job, placing just high enough to land her in class 1A. The experience had been absolutely hellish, and she had spent the week afterward hoping against hope that her performance had been enough to sneak by.

Being able to parade her acceptance letter around had been entirely worth it though. No one could believe what an excellent job she had done in getting in, and she’d been insufferable in her victory for nearly a week afterwards. Her father and brother had deserved it too, the doubters.

Then her first actual day at UA had arrived, and hit Mina like a ton of bricks. It was an experience unlike any she had been through before. She had looked up photos and videos of the school beforehand, but it was so much different to actually stand on its grounds and look up at the towering main building. Sure, she’d seen it during the entrance exam, but she’d been far too preoccupied at the time to really take in the spectacle. Now she had the time to really be wowed, and she was taking full advantage.

The grounds were absolutely immaculate, the shrubbery perfectly trimmed and not a trace of trash to be seen anywhere. That was probably a side benefit of UA having a budget the size of a small prefecture. They could throw around money for a bit of spectacle.

That same spectacle had led to her meeting Izuku just before class had begun. She’d been in the midst of checking out a collage of famous UA alumni battling equally notorious villains, searching for anyone she knew, when he had crashed into her and sent them both sprawling.

Izuku had, predictably, apologized profusely for his mistake and offered to do anything to make it up to her. Mina had tried to brush it off as a simple mistake, but he had been so insistent that she had eventually agreed to let him buy her a drink. If he hadn’t been so awkward and oblivious about the whole affair, she might have thought he had engineered the whole encounter in order to hit on her.

To her surprise, she’d actually enjoyed talking to him while they sipped on their drinks. Once he had gotten over his initial awkwardness, he’d proven to be incredibly enthusiastic about getting into UA and training to be a hero. Mina had been delighted to learn that he was in the same class as her, giving her a head start on getting to know the students she’d be training with. He’d practically keeled over when she had offered to be his friend and exchange numbers, which had actually made her giggle a little bit. He reminded her of a puppy, so eager to please that he was tripping over himself as he did so.

The rest of the day hadn’t gone quite so well. Aizawa was exactly the kind of hardass that Mina hated, lording his power over the class for shits and giggles. She’d placed high enough that she didn’t have to worry about getting eliminated, but watching him berate the lower scoring students had really ground her gears.

Especially when it came to Izuku. It was obvious to everyone that he was trying his best, but Aizawa seemed to have latched onto him in particular as a target. It was hard for Mina to keep up a smile as she watched him spiral lower and lower throughout the day.

Thankfully, he’d managed to stick it out in the end, and Aizawa had proved himself to be a hypocritical ass, calling himself a hero while lying and berating his students. Mina had to admit, seeing Izuku standing there with a broken finger while he smiled at Aizawa, flushed with victory had been awesome. She’d even cheered a bit, though not so loudly that she stood out from the crowd.

That moment of happiness for the boy, and the subsequent relief that he was staying in the class had stayed with her for the rest of the day, refusing to leave her alone. It was unlike her to get so attached so quickly to a person. Sure, she’d had friends in the past, and she had her family, but those relationships hadn’t felt quite like this. Maybe it was because Midoriya was so open and honest that she couldn’t imagine him having an ulterior motive in the slightest, and that made it all the easier to connect.

She’d made a few more friends in their class after that, commiserating with the rest of the girls over having to deal with Mineta’s perverse actions and cracking jokes with Kaminari, but none of them had come as easily as the first.

And then the day of the USJ incident had come, and Mina had been tested. She couldn’t hear what had been said in the main plaza, but she had been able to watch as Izuku came close to death at the hands of the Nomu, only to be saved at the last moment by All Might. As she watched the blond hero smash his way through the miscellaneous villains in an instant, Mina had noticed something. Before All Might’s arrival, she had taken a single step forward, towards the plaza. That had shocked her on a level she couldn’t even begin to describe. Her urge to protect the precious green boy had been so overwhelming that she had been willing to confront the League over it.

She couldn’t reconcile it. She’d never been like this before. She’d met plenty of sweet, friendly people over the years, and none of them had made her feel so fiercely protective, so possessive.

Try as she might to quiet them, Mina’s feelings had only grown stronger as time had gone on. She’d rooted for him in the sports festival, actually biting her nails during his battle with Todoroki, and when he had been injured during the attack on Hosu, she had rushed to his hospital room to check on him.

It had earned her some funny looks, but being able to see that he was safe had been an incredible weight off of her chest. Sure, he was laid up in a hospital bed, covered with bandages, but injuries could always be fixed. His life, on the other hand, couldn’t be repaired.

It was then, staring at Izuku in his hospital bed, costume torn to shreds and stained with blood, that Mina knew this went beyond a simple friendship, or even just protective instincts. She cared for him, in a way that she hadn’t realized she was capable of. And she was going to protect him, no matter what it took.

She’d pitched it as a mutual exchange. He would help her study for the end of term exams, and in exchange she would help him expand his fighting style with some more varied moves. A friendly exchange. He leapt at the chance to be a better hero, and to get to know her better.

She’d been so caught up in celebrating the success of her own clever idea that she completely missed the blush that dusted his cheeks as he said the last part.

The two months before their final exams flew by faster than she would have thought possible. But then maybe that was because she had something to look forward to after school now, instead of just lessons and training. She had someone she cared about, someone she trusted, someone she could talk to about all the things she had never dared speak, not even to herself.

She’d told him about feeling helpless and frustrated about the world around her, the way the bullies always seemed to win no matter if their victims stood up for themselves or not. She told him about trying to stand up to the bullies herself, only to be punished by the teachers for being a disruption. She even told him about her desire to change things, to make a better system where no child would have to suffer for being born weak.

Maybe she had wanted to share all of that, to let the poison she had been carrying for so long out, or maybe she just wanted to ease her sense of guilt for Izuku’s injuries.

In exchange, he had told her about his childhood, about being one of the children crushed by the system. About watching his tormentor be praised for his skill and strength while Izuku was relegated to the class laughing stock. He told her about being labeled as Quirkless, since his Quirk had taken so long to come in.

Mina noticed that he still slipped up sometimes and called himself Quirkless when he wasn’t paying close attention to his words, a fact that ripped at her heart. She couldn’t imagine being labeled like that for so long, or how he still had the strength to stand up after it all, to keep going, to keep having faith in the heroes who by all rights had failed him.

She knew he didn’t tell her everything, but she couldn’t really blame him either. After all, she had her own secrets, though they were getting harder to keep by the day.

She hadn’t bothered to hide her cheers during the final exams. Why should she? The entire class knew that they were friends at this point, though Hagakure liked to tease Mina about how much time she spent with Izuku. She didn’t think her cheers actually did anything, considering the viewing room was at least a mile from the testing site, but it still felt right to her. And in the end, Izuku had come out victorious, despite Bakugou doing his best to bring them both down.

And then Mina didn’t have any more time. Summer break was upon them, and their forthcoming training camp as well. She wasn’t supposed to go along, she was supposed to remain at UA taking makeup exams with the rest of the ‘dunce squad’. But Aizawa had pulled another of his ‘logical ruses’ and taken them all by surprise.

For Mina, however, it was more than a surprise. It was a source of worry that gnawed at her throughout the next day and into the weekend as their class prepared for the trip with a visit to the shopping mall. A visit that turned into an incident when Tomura turned up to threaten Izuku.

Mina had been paralyzed when she saw the hooded figure standing next to Izuku, hand around her friend’s (could she even still call him a friend?) throat. Her instincts had warred with her logical mind, fighting for dominance.

And yet again, her heart had won out. She had taken a single step towards ruin before she had even realized what she was doing. There hadn’t been an opportunity for a second step, though, before Tomura had walked away, leaving Izuku shaken but unharmed.

She had thought long and hard about what that step had meant that night. What it meant for her, what it meant for Izuku, for her class, for her teachers, for her family, for her future. And she had come to one, inescapable conclusion.

She wanted to stay at UA, to grow stronger along with the people who had become her friends. She wanted to make the world a better place, not by tearing down the system but by exemplifying what a hero should be. She wanted to stand in the light with everyone she cared about.

And she wanted to be able to tell Izuku about the feelings that she could no longer deny.

So Mina lifted her phone to her ear, and pressed the button that would forever change her world.

“This is Principal Nedzu,” a crisp voice answered after only a single ring, “To what do I owe the pleasure of this late night call, Miss Ashido?”

She looked to the photo that sat on her desk, slightly askew in its frame from when she had taken it out to stare at it earlier that evening. She and Izuku were smiling broadly, arms around each other’s shoulders as they celebrated Izuku perfecting his Full Cowling for battle. It was a reminder of how far they had come, and how far they still had left to go.

The League was a threat to him for as long as they existed, and Mina could no longer accept that. She had to take a stand, and do what she knew was right. For her classmates, for herself, and for Izuku.

“Because my birth name was Ashido. But for years, my name has been Mina Shiguraki, and I am a spy for the League of Villains.”

#izumina #midoriya izuku #mina ashido #izumina week 2020 #day one #protection #dekumina #minadeku

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kae-karo · 4 years

Note

6&8 with bakushima maybe...?

i see how it is. y’all want me to suffer huh. if that’s how it is then i guess i gotta drag y’all with me good fuckin luck lmao (no but seriously thank u for this lmao i wanted to expand on this (x) prompt i did before and this is a great opportunity for it although i am so so sorry with how intense this got that was not my intent but here we are)

6. “You broke me and now you expect me to follow you out onto the battlefield? No. The answer is no.”

8. “You take me instead, do you hear me? Give her back and take me instead.”

[read on ao3]

–

Katsuki can’t sleep, no matter how hard he tries. He should be resting, he needs to be ready for tomorrow, he needs to be alert when they arrive. He can’t be exhausted, but he’s too damn wired right now to even close his eyes.

Kirishima had actually answered, had asked if Katsuki was okay. His hand shakes as it brushes against the dried blood on his arm - is he okay? He hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. He didn’t think it’d take this long - this much - to earn their trust. He didn’t think he’d be dragged this deep. Can he even really call himself a hero? Heroes don’t kill people, they save them.

But that’s what this whole mission was for, to save people. To prevent something horrible and devastating from taking innocent lives. To put the League out of commission for good.

So why does he feel like a villain?

---------

Dawn paints the sky all shades of red, and Katsuki drops his gaze from the horizon to his shoes. He can’t let himself get distracted now, can’t spend time thinking about anything other than the plan. He refuses to think about Kirishima now.

Could he ever forgive what Katsuki’s done?

The thought creeps in anyway, demanding his attention, and he stands so fast his head spins. He needs to be somewhere else, somewhere dark and colorless and meaningless, somewhere he can pretend to be the hero playing villain. Where he can pretend he doesn’t feel corruption twisting around his heart and lungs, suffocating him from the inside.

Somewhere he can’t see anything, least of all the red of the sunrise promising a new day.

They should be here soon, he hopes. He can’t do anything else aside from hope at this point. Hope that they haven’t given up on him.

They wouldn’t, would they?

No, he can’t doubt them now. He’s done his job, he’s done what he had to do, and now he needs to trust that they’ll do their part. That they’ll come for him.

His hands find their way into his pockets as he walks back inside.

---------

“Hey, kid.” Katsuki startles at the voice, too on edge with nerves. They can’t have caught him, he’s sure - he’s been so careful. Done everything they asked, no matter the cost. No matter the blackness it tainted him with. They can’t suspect anything, not now, not when he’s so close.

“The hell do you want?” He can play the part for a little longer, just long enough. Just until they come for him. He fixes his expression into something he hopes is just as cold and aloof as Dabi’s.

“You got a little…” Dabi trails off, his thumb brushing his cheekbone just above the scars. Katsuki rubs at the same spot on his own face, doing his best not to let his stomach turn as dried blood scrapes against the back of his hand. Before Dabi can say anything more, he turns and heads toward the bathroom to wipe it away properly.

If this is the first time Kirishima sees him in so many months, Katsuki doesn’t want him to see the villain he’s become.

-----------

Nobody comes for him - neither the League nor his friends, if they still consider themselves his friends. He’s left alone in his room, and the phone he isn’t supposed to have draws his attention like a black hole, sucking him in. He refuses to touch it, though.

His friends, they will come for him, he has to believe that. And he won’t risk messing up the mission now.

But the hours tick by, marked by the shadows that creep steadily across the concrete floor, and there’s hardly a sound beyond his door. Nothing to indicate a sudden attack, nobody bursting into the room and demanding he come and fight.

Nobody bursting through the door to tell him that he’s safe now, that he can come home. That he did his job, took out the League. That he’s a hero.

“I miss you.”

Sometimes Katsuki misses himself, too - the person he was before all this, before he became something he doesn’t recognize. He wonders if Kirishima would recognize him like this.

But he doesn’t get the luxury of losing himself in those thoughts, because the door finally - finally, finally - bursts open, Twice sticking his head in.

“Kid, get your ass out here, we need some backup.” He doesn’t sound nearly as worried as Katsuki would’ve hoped, but he’ll take what he can get right now. His heart thumps wildly in his chest as he sits up, but he only allows himself a single moment of relief before standing.

He hopes there are enough of them to take down the League. He hopes this was all worth it, that this will be a success. That everything he’s done has had a purpose.

Then he shoves all those thoughts down deep in his chest, so deep that he can’t feel them as he stalks toward the half-open door. Twice has long since left, but Katsuki forces a wicked grin to his lips anyway.

Only a few more moments of playing the part, then he can turn against the League. Turn against the assholes that have plagued his existence since he started on his journey to become a hero. Turn against the group that forced his hand, that made him act like a villain.

He wants it to be their fault, but it was still Katsuki’s hand, it was still his decision.

He hopes this will be the end, one way or another.

----------

It’s quiet at first, more like a low rumbling than anything loud and sudden and terrifying, but he follows it through the twisting halls until it grows to discernible sounds - voices shouting, heavy blows landing, things breaking and crumbling and crashing. Around this corner, or maybe the next, he thinks.

And then he’s pulled in another direction, away from the noise through an open door and into an unlit room. A hand clamps over his mouth before he can say anything, not that he’d even know who to call for. If it’s his friends, he shouldn’t draw attention. If it’s the League, would his friends even come for him?

He’s not entirely sure he’s worth saving.

“Todoroki, let him go, it’s Kacchan!” Deku’s voice sends a wave of relief though Katsuki’s veins, not that he’d ever admit it aloud. They did come for him. The hand falls from his mouth, though Katsuki still can’t see in the darkness - he’s not even sure where he’s standing, perhaps in some disused room he’d never bothered to do more than glance into.

“I’m aware, that’s why I grabbed him.” Icyhot’s voice this time, somewhere behind him, and Katsuki turns. He thinks he’s facing them, but it’s not easy to tell. He has half a mind to say something, but his brain refuses to come up with some witty remark and he’ll be damned before he actually thanks them.

“Kacchan, are you okay? We were so-”

“Midoriya, Todoroki, Aizawa needs your help.” Katsuki sucks in a breath - Kirishima’s here too? All three of these idiots?

He shuts down the tiny voice in his head that says Kirishima came for him. Now isn’t the time.

“Right!” Deku whisper-shouts, and the door creaks open behind Katsuki. He turns just in time to catch the slightest glimpse of wild dark green and tufts of red and white before the door drifts shut again. By the time he turns back to where he thinks Kirishima’s standing, it’s too dark to see.

Silence stretches out for what feels like ages, though it’s probably only a few seconds.

“Shitty hair?” He hadn’t just imagined Kirishima was here, had he? Surely not, not if Deku and Icyhot had left at his suggestion? There’s a deep breath, a slow exhale.

“Bakugou.” Kirishima sounds sad, so fucking sad, like he’s...he sounds exactly how Katsuki imagined he’d sound if he knew what Katsuki had done. He wonders if he does know, somehow. Then he shakes his head hard, trying to clear it.

Now isn’t the time. They need to deal with the League first, Katsuki can worry about falling apart later.

“We need to get out there, we need to help them-” he starts, but he stops the moment Kirishima speaks.

“Bakugou…” His voice is too soft, and Katsuki can’t decide if he wishes he could see his face right now or not. “You went dark…” No, no, he wants to shout at Kirishima. Now is not the time, they have to- they have to do this, they have to succeed or this will have all been for nothing, they can’t- Katsuki can’t do this. He can’t hold himself together.

“We thought you were gone, I thought-” a sigh, “I thought you really joined them…”

Katsuki exhales a shaky breath. No, he’d never truly joined them, but he helped them. He killed for them. Does it really matter what side he claims to be on at this point? Actions speak far louder than words.

“We can’t do this now, we-” Katsuki tries, but his words fall flat and he presses his lips together to stop them.

“I thought that you...you played us, made us believe-” Kirishima’s voice pitches low, and his breaths come in a little too quickly in the sudden silence. “But then you called, and...and you...I thought you were gone. How am I supposed to trust you after that?” There’s a shuffling of footsteps, and Katsuki wishes desperately for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He wishes it weren’t so absolute.

Or maybe he’s just wishing that the darkness in his chest, the one that threatens to swallow up his heart, that it didn’t feel so absolute. So complete, so unavoidable. So all-consuming.

“I thought you betrayed us, betrayed me. I trusted you, but you...you broke me.” Katsuki rubs hard at his face, at the tears spilling over onto his cheeks. But it’s dark, Kirishima can’t see them. Katsuki almost wishes he could. “And now you expect me to just...follow you out onto the battlefield? No. The answer is no.”

Katsuki’s knees go weak under him, and it takes every ounce of effort to hold himself upright, to stop from literally crumbling.

Kirishima’s lost faith in him. Kirishima.

“I have done-” Katsuki clears his throat, angry at the way it breaks. “I have done terrible things, shit I wish I’d never…” he can’t bring himself to say it, but he can’t let this happen, not like this. “I did what I had to do for this mission, so we could bring the League down, and-”

And? And what? He’s still done those terrible things. His actions are that of a villain, and that’s how he deserves to be seen. He doesn’t deserve Kirishima’s forgiveness. He takes a step back, toward the door behind him. He’ll still fight for his friends, even if he can never redeem himself for what he’s done.

“I’m going out there, I’m fighting to put these fuckers behind bars because that’s all I can do right now.” He can feel the razor sharpness of his own words, the way they cut the air and slice up what’s left of his heart. He can’t see Kirishima, but he’s afraid if he could, he wouldn’t have the strength to turn on a heel and pull the door open.

Light blinds him, bright and cold and clinical, but it centers him as well. He needs to be just as emotionless and unfeeling, he can’t afford to let his friends risk their lives when he isn’t doing the same.

“Bakugou, I-” Kirishima starts, and Katsuki’s feet pause. The words stop there, though, and Kirishima makes a muffled sound that Katsuki can’t place. He should keep walking, keep going and find his other friends and fight for them the way a hero would, but the ache in his chest wins out.

He whirls around to catch the edge of the door before it closes, and the pale light from the hall reaches into the depths of the room to cast Kirishima’s face in sharp relief.

Along with the hand clasped tight over Kirishima’s mouth and the glint of a blade held against his throat.

“Oh, little Bakugou.” It’s Toga, her grin bordering on feral as she tilts her head at Katsuki. In spite of the fact that she’s barely tall enough to reach his mouth, Kirishima remains totally still. Katsuki does the same.

For once, for once in his damn life, Katsuki lets himself relax - there’s nothing she can do to Kirishima, not with his quirk. She’s basically harmless against-

Katsuki’s eyes widen as a trickle of blood drips down Kirishima’s neck. He’s never been more terrified to see someone bleed.

“What the hell did you do to him?” Katsuki asks, and Kirishima makes a mumbled sort of growling sound behind Toga’s hand, but she just laughs like she’s told a hilarious joke that nobody else is in on. There’s a tinny sort of sound, then, as something rolls toward Katsuki’s feet.

It’s only once it bumps into his shoe that he recognizes the tip of a needle and the tiny vial attached to it. Katsuki’s gaze flicks up to find Kirishima’s eyes wide, and his neck presses against the edge of the knife as he swallows.

“Shigaraki wouldn’t let us play with the good stuff, so his quirk loss is only temporary.” Toga sounds like a little kid who’s just been told they can’t have what they want, pouting and disappointed. “But!” She bounces a bit on her toes. “I can have a lot of fun in just a couple hours!” Katsuki sucks in a breath as a fresh wave of blood pools over the blade and trickles down Kirishima’s neck.

“You take me instead, do you hear me?” Katsuki steps forward, but Toga just tuts at him and presses the blade harder against Kirishima’s throat. His heart races in his chest, fear bubbling up and demanding he fight, that he win. He may not be worthy of being called a hero, not after everything he’s done, but he refuses to let Kirishima get hurt at his expense. “Give him back and take me instead.”

He can endure whatever torture they’ll inevitably put him through. Hell, he would welcome it if it meant keeping Kirishima safe. Kirishima, who fights hard to protect the people he cares about. Kirishima, who doesn’t deserve the ramifications of what Katsuki’s done, who doesn’t deserve to pay for Katsuki’s mistakes.

Kirishima, who came for him even though Katsuki doesn’t deserve to be saved.

“I don’t wanna keep you, you’re no fun!” Toga whines. “You just kill them, you don’t even cut them up all pretty first!” Katsuki’s ears start ringing, his blood pounding hard enough in his ears to block out whatever words roll off Toga’s tongue next. All he can hear is ‘you just kill them’ on repeat in time with his heart, all he can see are Kirishima’s wide eyes.

No, he doesn’t deserve to be saved.

“He’s useless to us,” Katsuki spits, sneering at Kirishima. “He’s an extra, didn’t you hear they left him behind? He’s not even worth sending in to fight.” Katsuki coughs out a bitter laugh.

“So I can kill him then?” Toga’s bouncing on her toes again, and the knife cuts shallow lines against Kirishima’s throat. Katsuki takes a casual step forward, hoping the wide innocence in Toga’s eyes means she’s no longer seeing him as a threat.

“What’s the point?” God, couldn’t it have been anyone other than Toga, the one with an obsessive bloodlust? Anyone else he might’ve been able to sway with some ease. “Besides, he’s quirkless for now.” Maybe he can shift her attention. “Completely harmless. We should go help the others, they’re still fighting.”

He hopes they’re still fighting, please let them still be fighting. Let his friends, the people he cares about, the heroes be winning. He can give everything over, every part of himself, if it means they’re taking the League down.

“Aww,” she pouts, “I guess you’re right.” Katsuki sighs - although he’s worried at how simple that was. It should’ve been harder, he thinks. His whole body aches with tension as Toga falls back from the balls of her feet.

“I should just kill him now, real quick.” Her grin widens to something manic, and Katsuki sucks in a breath. “Told ya you’re no fun, Bakugou!” She laughs through the words, and her knife twitches, drawing another line of blood. Katsuki’s hands fall to his sides, and he launches himself forward as fast as he can manage with his explosions, but before he can get to Kirishima, everything freezes.

Literally.

Katsuki’s stopped midair, held in place by a belt of ice around his waist as someone shouts something behind him. But all he can see is the knife, frozen where it presses against Kirishima’s neck.

Kirishima’s eyes are squeezed shut, but he opens them wide a moment later, and Katsuki finally exhales a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. His heart hammers fast in his chest, louder than the sudden rush of noise around him, next to him.

There’s a crackling, though, that he feels in his chest, and it’s only once he’s halfway to the ground that he realizes the ice has started melting.

“Kirishima, oh my god!” Deku’s voice, but Katsuki can’t make out anything beyond that - damn Deku and his mumbling. He won’t say he missed it, but...he’d gotten used to it, and it’s been weird not to hear it these past few months.

“M’okay, don’t worry!” Kirishima says, though Katsuki can hear the fear under his bright tone. He can’t take his eyes off the streaks of blood running down his neck.

“We need to get you both out of here, the police have arrived and…” Katsuki can vaguely hear Todoroki speaking, unnervingly calm in spite of what they’ve all just been through. In spite of the fact that he’d only just managed to stop Toga from killing Kirishima right in front of Katsuki’s eyes, while he’d stood there and practically convinced her to do it.

He hadn’t meant to, he’d been trying to talk her out of it, but he can’t imagine how Kirishima must’ve seen it.

“Hey Shitty Hair, can I, uh…” He can’t, he can’t walk out of here and let Kirishima think- think what, though? That he’s a villain? But he is, isn’t he?

“I dunno, Kacchan, I think he needs to see Recovery Girl first, right?” Deku says, but Katsuki’s focused on Kirishima. Wide red eyes watch him, and Katsuki purses his lips and drops his head. He can’t cry, not in front of everyone. He told them all he could handle it, that he was perfect for this job. He can’t let them all see what it’s taken from him.

He can’t let them all know how undeserving he is to be rescued, but Kirishima...Kirishima should understand the truth.

“It’s okay guys, we’ll catch up,” he says, and Katsuki’s eyes flick up to meet Kirishima’s.

Deku and Icyhot must find their way out, a frozen Toga in tow, because silence engulfs him and Kirishima a few moments later. Katsuki’s suddenly at a loss for what to say.

“You killed someone?” Katsuki squeezes his eyes shut. Kirishima’s voice is low, like he’s just as terrified that someone will overhear as Katsuki is.

“I didn’t- I didn’t think I had a choice, okay? I thought...I thought I was doing what I had to do,” Katsuki says to the ground. “I thought I was doing the right thing.” The words barely come out above a whisper.

He waits in the empty silence, waits for Kirishima to rage at him, or to say he’s unforgivable, he’s not a hero, he could never be after that. He waits for the fear, the hatred, all the things Katsuki deserves.

“And what do you think now?” Katsuki lifts his head to find Kirishima watching, waiting. For what, Katsuki isn’t sure. The truth, maybe? He squeezes his eyes shut - Kirishima deserves the truth. Actually, he deserves a hell of a lot more, but the truth is all he can give.

“I can’t undo what I did. I would if I could, but I can’t.” He inhales a deep, shaky breath, and begs the blackness behind his eyes to give him enough strength to say all the things bubbling up in his chest, the things he’s tried to keep buried.

“And I hated it. I hate myself for doing it, I hate myself, it’s- it’s been fucking with my head, and I can’t get it out, I can’t fix it, I can’t- I can’t- I f-fucked it up, I was so wrong, I thought I could handle it but I couldn’t, I-” He startles when arms wrap around him, warm and solid and strong.

“K-Kirishima, stop, I- I killed someone, I’m-” Katsuki can barely get the words out now, lost in a wave of sobs that threaten to overcome him completely, but Kirishima doesn’t let go. Katsuki can feel the wet warmth of blood against his neck from Kirishima’s cuts, the ones he got because of Katsuki, because he-

“Get off!” He shoves at Kirishima’s shoulders, but he can’t put any force into it, and Kirishima’s grip only tightens further. Katsuki’s knees threaten to collapse beneath him, his whole body suddenly weak and exhausted, but Kirishima holds him in place.

“I’m so sorry,” Kirishima whispers in his ear, his head tucked in the crook of Katsuki’s neck. “I’m so sorry we didn’t come for you sooner, I’m so sorry you thought that was your only option.”

Katsuki can feel the fragile pieces of himself splinter apart, shatter and crumble as Kirishima holds him.

-------------

The rest of the day passes in a blur of faces and locations and white walls he’s fairly certain belong to a hospital. He doesn’t have the energy to tell anyone he’s not injured, he shouldn’t be here.

Maybe they can see inside him, the blackness that’s consumed him like a malicious virus, swallowing up every ounce of good he ever had in his body. He wonders if there’s a treatment, a fix.

He doubts it.

They keep him hooked to an IV, though, and doctors and nurses wander in and out. Aizawa comes in at one point, offering his thanks for everything he’s done, but Katsuki can’t look him in the eye. Aizawa doesn’t know what he’s done, and if he did, he’d never speak to Katsuki again.

Todoroki and Deku show up, too, bringing news of their success in taking down the League. Deku heaps on the praise, saying it wouldn’t have been possible without Katsuki, that he’s a hero.

The word makes him sick to his stomach.

It’s Icyhot that finally suggests they leave him alone, and he’s grateful for it. He doesn’t deserve their appreciation, doesn’t deserve their kindness. He deserves to be put behind bars with the rest of the villains, he deserves to be punished for what he’s done, but he can’t even begin to consider telling them. So he’ll punish himself instead.

He doesn’t eat, can barely sleep without waking an hour later in a cold sweat with the feeling of blood coating his body again. Every time he tries to rest, it’s a different person he’s killing as the League members stand around him, their unspoken threat enough to make him act. Sometimes Deku or Todoroki, sometimes one of his other classmates, sometimes All Might or another teacher, or some faceless civilian.

In the early hours of the morning, it’s Kirishima. He refuses to even attempt to sleep after that.

The next time someone dares to walk through the door to Katsuki’s self-made prison cell of a room, he demands to know where Kirishima is, if he’s okay.

“Kirishima Eijirou,” he adds as the nurse frowns at him. “Red Riot, is he okay?” He should’ve asked right away, the moment he’d been lucid enough to realize where he was.

“Oh! Yes, yes, he’s just fine. Sleeping off the effects of that drug a few rooms over.” The guy goes about his business, checking something on Katsuki’s chart before shuffling over to remove the IV needle from his arm. “And you’re clear to leave whenever you feel ready!”

They’ll let him leave, just like that? Don’t they know what he’s capable of, what he’s done?

He stares hard at the white wall across from him, waiting for the nurse to leave. It’s like nobody cares, just cause he’s a hero. How could they not have figured it out by now? The League must’ve told them, or Kirishima had, or they’d found out somehow, right?

He doesn’t deserve to walk out of here unpunished, to be celebrated by his friends and strangers.

If he stayed, would they let him waste away here? Would they let him make this his own prison, since they refuse to put him in a cell themselves?

“Bakugou?” Katsuki startles, then turns to find Kirishima standing at the door. He dips his head, a harsh ‘leave me alone’ on his tongue. “Can we talk?” Kirishima beats him to speaking, and Katsuki’s far too weak to say no to him. Maybe he’ll say all the things Katsuki’s been thinking, tell him how he deserves to rot in prison, how he’s irredeemable and villainous and-

“I don’t know what happened,” Kirishima says, and Katsuki peeks up from behind the strands of hair falling in his face to see Kirishima’s gotten closer. “But what you did…” Katsuki squeezes his eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable. He holds his breath in the silence.

“You did something terrible.” It’s not what he expects Kirishima to say, but it hurts him all the same. It hurts, and he deserves to be in pain. “Something you can’t fix.” Tears prick at the back of Katsuki’s eyes. “And I don’t understand, but I know you didn’t do it because you wanted to.”

Katsuki stares hard at the thin sheet covering his lap, the lines of it blurring behind the water welling up in his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter what I wanted.” His voice cracks as he speaks, along with his resolve. How can Kirishima talk about this like it’s okay? “All that matters is what I did.”

“No.” Kirishima’s tone invites no argument, and Katsuki lifts his head to find Kirishima’s gaze hard as he stares at Katsuki. “I used to think- I mean, it wasn’t the same, but I used to think so too. That one thing, one mistake, it defined who I was forever.”

“This wasn’t a mistake, it was someone’s life,” Katsuki argues - how can Kirishima not see this?

“I’m not saying it was small, I’m just- I’m saying that if you let that be who you are, that’s all you’ll ever be.”

“I’m a murderer, that’s never going to change,” Katsuki growls. Nice words won’t cover up the blood on his hands. He shoves them under the sheets as if that could make what he’s done disappear.

“No, it won’t.” Katsuki blows out a harsh breath - at least he’s not trying to dispute that point. “But it’s not that simple, it’s not black and white-”

“It’s life or death, there’s no in between,” Katsuki interrupts. Why is Kirishima trying to justify this? Why is he trying to tell Katsuki that it’s okay?

“Not for them, but…” Kirishima sighs, and his weight settles on the edge of Katsuki’s bed. “I’m not trying to say it was good, I just meant that…you were in an impossible situation.” Katsuki lifts his gaze just enough to see Kirishima’s hand clenching the sheets.

“We left you in an impossible situation. I left you…” His voice breaks on the words, and Katsuki sucks in a breath.

“I chose my life over someone else’s, a hero doesn’t do that,” he says. He stares hard at the lines of Kirishima’s hand, willing his focus to stay on the present, willing his memories to stay locked in the back of his head. He can’t relive that, not right now.

Kirishima slams his fist into the edge of the mattress, startling Katsuki, and his eyes lift to see Kirishima staring hard at him. Light reflects from the tear tracks on his cheeks.

“Well maybe it’s selfish of me, maybe it’s not very heroic, but I’m glad you chose your life.” His words invite no argument, not that Katsuki can even fathom speaking right now. Kirishima dips his head. “I don’t know what I would’ve done in your place.”

Katsuki doesn’t doubt Kirishima would risk his life to save someone else, but a sudden wave of righteous fear rushes through him at the thought - he wouldn’t let Kirishima sacrifice himself, if he had any way to stop him. He hates that he understands.

Kirishima blows out a breath, then he rubs at his face.

“For what it’s worth, I'm glad you're alive. I don't know what I'd do if-" He stops there and dips his head, and Katsuki clenches his jaw to stop the sob that fights its way up his throat. He might not be a hero, but he’d fight to his dying breath to keep Kirishima safe if the roles had been reversed. "Anyway, I should-"

Katsuki pulls his hand from under the sheet and reaches for Kirishima's, but he stops just short, and his fingers barely brush against Kirishima's wrist. Does he deserve to ask this of Kirishima? Maybe not. But maybe he's selfish too.

"Stay?" he asks anyway, and Kirishima pauses. When he turns back to Katsuki, the corner of his lip ticks up in a small smile. "Please?"

Kirishima blows out a breath, and his hand reaches out to take Katsuki's where it hovers in the air.

"I didn’t know you had manners,” he says, and Katsuki rolls his eyes. But Kirishima squeezes his hand tight. “I’m not going anywhere, Katsuki.”

#bnha #kiribaku angst #jackiewolf #ask #kt

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faean · 4 years

Text

Adamance of a Dragon

Collaborator: @i-am-here-with-fanfic.

Rating: T+; Mild Language and Some Conflict

Word Length: 2,396

Chapter 8 (1/2)- Show Me Your Will; Prepare Thyself

___

Soon, my little dragonling…

I awoke with a start, tossing several pillows as a golden white spear appeared in my left, readied at the empty space before my bed. Realizing I was alone, I heaved a heavy sigh before calming myself, folding my wings behind me as my tail swished about my waist. Slipping out of bed, I began my morning routine.

Blonde roasted Kona coffee being brewed as I changed from my pajamas into a plain black long sleeve and blue jeans, my moccasins on and jacket draped over my shoulders. Aaron’s favorite breakfast on the stove as I drank straight from the coffee pot and called him downstairs.

He was… Understandably disheveled. He did not bother to fix his hair, and his uniform was sloppily buttoned. None of my attempts at lightening his mood succeeded, and he remained, for the lack of a more appropriate word, catatonic.

Sluggishly picking at his food, he merely mumbled ‘time to go’ before trudging to his bag and out the door.

While I had my suspicions, and was not entirely surprised to learn that All Might is his father, I could not have predicted he would be so…

Broken.

Aaron is a strong and caring person, but he refuses to rely on others and rarely opens up about how he is truly feeling. It is why he pushes himself during his practices, and why Aria asks me to keep an eye on him. He has hardly, if ever, been careful about his personal health, although, I must admit I am not much better.

But merely holding back is not as self-destructive as holding it in.

---

School was not much better. We had to make our way through a massive crowd of reporters and journalists; fortunately, a little magic goes a long way when tampering with electronics. That was not the end to them, of course. During lunch, as I sat with Shouji and Tokoyami, there was an uproar.

People began scrambling to escape the cafeteria as an emergency bell and warning rang. Rather than be jostled and shoved every which way, I took to the ceiling and spotted Aaron clinging to the wall.

I glided towards him, and he pointed at the strikingly familiar mob of reporters swarming Aizawa and Present Mic. While obvious to us that they were the cause of the chaos, it took Iida spinning through the air and slamming into the wall above the entrance as he shouted to regain order and calm everyone.

One good thing came of it, though, as Aaron seemed much more receptive. I do not think he will ever be the same after yesternight, but I do hope he decides his own fate. He has so much potential, and I know he can be so much more than just a figure skater (which is saying a lot, given his numerous accolades and offers).

The path he chooses is up to him, and I will support him for as long as I can but, for now, I will simply remain at his side until he needs me.

And until that time comes, I will-

Prepare thyself, my little dragonling…

A shiver ran down my spine as I trailed behind Aaron out of the cafeteria. We were making our way back to class before lunch ended, and there was nary another student in the halls, much less a female one with an ethereal voice that echoed in my fucking head.

It probably was not best to unseal my Anima form. Unlike the splitting migraines caused by my Prudentia form, this one caused something a little more…strenuous, I suppose. It dulls my senses and makes me more susceptible to mind-altering effects, such as hypnosis and invasive telepathy. Fortunately, segmenting my magic like this reduces the damage done to my body.

Of course, using my Quirk correctly and freely is the best option, but I…

Let us just say that a time will come when I shall fight at my best and beyond, but until that day, I would prefer not to draw attention to myself. There is a reason my hero suit is an all-encompassing cloak.

“Faian, can you drop my stuff off at mom’s later tonight? I forgot to bring it with me…” Aaron spoke, bringing me out of my thoughts.

While he still had a wisp of exhaustion in his voice, he looked better. Answering with a simple nod, I gave him a small kiss on the forehead before bidding ‘farewell’ as we entered our respective classrooms.

I hope you’re ready.

As much as I wanted to ignore her voice, she is powerful. If she claims something is going to happen, I must keep attentive. Of course, she cannot be trusted, so it would be wise not to take it to heart.

Paradoxical, no?

Looking at the clock in the empty classroom, it read ’12:38’, still twelve minutes before the next period, which is hero training. I was hoping to get some rest, shifting out of my school uniform and pulling a container of saltwater from my bag when a few of my classmates returned. Downing it quickly, as my body requires it to stay physically nourished (much like how a regular person would need to drink plain water, but it also helps with my limited regeneration), I placed the bottle back in my bag as Yaoyorozu and Todoroki took their seats. Shouji and Tokoyami went to the back of the classroom near me and were joined by Asui.

Tokoyami was the first to speak, asking “So, who did you vote for, Nadal? You didn’t receive any which means you didn’t vote for yourself.”

“Were you the one vote Iida got? He did say he voted for someone else.” Asui chimed in.

Nodding, I answered “Indeed. I have no desire to lead, and his suggestion of a democratic vote simply demanded my own. Truthfully, not voting for himself only cemented my support. A good leader realizes their people take precedence, not themselves.”

“Yes, but, by that logic, you would also make a good leader.” Yaoyorozu claimed.

Todoroki was quick to add “You appeared calm and rational in the recording All Might showed us yesterday, too. Not to mention you have more experience in hero work. Why else would our teachers trust you as their aid, Faian?”

While there was some surprise that Todoroki used my first name, I did clarify that I do not use his, and that if any of the four of them wished, they may use it as well. After all, I do enjoy their company, even if it has only been a few days. Although, I did have to help on pronunciation (Fae-in, it means ‘being of/belonging to magic’).

---

“If we’re pointing out the obvious then there’s something I wanna say… about you, actually.” Tsuyu said, her attention on Midoriya.

I was seated beside Todoroki, who I believe is currently napping. I would do the same, but these classmates of mine sure are entertaining.

Midoriya become flustered at the comparison to All Might but calmed when everyone began to talk about their own Quirks. I would not be surprised if he had a connection to All Might as personal as Aaron’s, especially if his Quirk is not his own; however, my thoughts were quickly interrupted as Kirishima began making comparisons.

“Well, if any of our classmates have pro Quirks, it’s Todoroki and Bakugou. Nadal, too.”

Tsuyu added, “Sure, but Bakugou’s always angry, so he’ll never be that popular. And we haven’t even seen Faian in actual action.”

That certainly seemed to rile the Iratus Catella. He began to argue, but Kaminari soon pegged him as having an awful personality (his verbiage was a bit… lacking). Naturally, this only spurred him on.

Fortunately, Aizawa reestablished some semblance of order as he told us we had reached our destination.

As we stood, gathered in front of the massive structure towering over us, the Space Hero, Thirteen, greeted us. She, or is it he? They?

Thirteen began to explain that they had created the facility before us ‘to deal with different types of disasters’. It was dubbed the Unforeseen Simulation Joint, USJ for short.

While I was admiring the sheer volume of the USJ, the conversation between Aizawa and Thirteen definitely caught my attention, more so when my little clover seemed to understand what they had meant by All Might exhausting his power. This is turning out to be quite an interesting week.

“Listen carefully.” Thirteen began. I’m sure you’re aware that I have a powerful Quirk. It’s called Black Hole. I can use it to suck up anything and turn it into dust.”

After a few comments from the class (Midoriya) about how they’ve used their Quirk to save people, they continued. “That’s true, but my Quirk could also very easily be used to kill.”

I take it back; the past twenty-four hours have been exceedingly exciting.

“Some of you also have powers that can be dangerous. In our superhuman society, all Quirks are certified and stringently regulated so we often overlook how unsafe they can actually be. Please don’t forget that if you lose focus or make the wrong move, your powers can be deadly. Even is you’re trying to do something virtuous, like rescue someone.”

They were right. While not as obvious in Japan, many other countries, including the States, suffer from a rather disproportionate percentage of villain attacks and Quirk misuse.

“Thanks to Aizawa’s fitness tests, you have a solid idea of your Quirk’s potential. And because of All Might’s combat training and Nadal’s review, you likely experienced how dangerous your powers can be when used against other people. Carry those lessons over to this class. Today, you’re going to learn how to use your Quirks to save people’s lives.”

It will be their own that they must save, my little dragonling…

I tensed and readied myself for what may come as Thirteen continued to give their instruction.

“You won’t be using your powers to attack enemies or each other, only to help. After all, that’s what being a hero is all about. Ensuring the safety of others. That’s all I have to say. Thank you so much for listening.”

Many of my classmates gave a cheer before Aizawa began his part of the-

Show me your will.

Electricity crackled, and the fountain in the center of the USJ began to sputter before a misty spiral of black and purple spun into existence, warping the area.

A portal. One that burst into the foreboding shapeless body of a person as villains spilled from its depths.

“Stay together and don’t move!” Aizawa commanded. “Thirteen. Protect the students! Legend, on me!”

Confusion spread over the class as Aizawa barked at them to ‘stay back’. I made my way to the front, my hood obscuring the upper half of my face.

“This is real. Those are villains.”

Two of the villains spoke, revealing that they infiltrated U.A. and were behind the press storming the campus. My concern only grew as they continued to speak.

They came for All Might.

They want Aaron’s father dead, and it appears as if they have prepared for this. If they believe they can face the strongest hero, as well as Eraser Head and Thirteen, then they cannot be trifled with.

A man with grayish-blue hair was making the threats, and while his childlike demeanor and the numerous hands adorning his body definitely grave credence to his villainous intentions, he made a fatal mistake.

He underestimated us.

Admittedly, that would be more reassuring if the alarms were not being blocked and if my classmates would calm themselves.

“Thirteen, get them outta here. And alert the main campus. Actually, if they’ve got the ability to block our sensors, then they might be jamming our regular communications, too.” Aizawa was on top of things, managing to keep himself and the others collected. “Kaminari, try using your Quirk to contact the school.”

Midoriya quickly interjected, claiming Aizawa could not face so many villains on his own.

“You can’t be a pro if you only have one trick. I’ll leave it to you, Thirteen. Legend, make sure no one makes it past the stairs.”

With his final order, Eraser Head leapt from his position and confronted the assortment of villains. I gave a nod to Thirteen as I sauntered down the stairs. Extending my left to my side, I summoned six rapiers of swirling wind and lighting before launching them at the base of the steps, already blowing back and electrocuting several villains when they embedded themselves in the ground.

Although, I did not have much to do. Eraser Head was effortlessly making his way through the villains, and I merely sat at the bottom of the steps, my blades preventing whatever villain thought they got passed him and could take on a kid.

You’re slipping.

She was right. With my attention on Eraser Head, and his own fixated on his next target, the misty warping villain had gotten past us. I took one of my blades and incapacitated a few villains with their backs turned near me before one countered me and knocked it out my grasp.

Leaping into the air after and connecting my feet with the hilt, I kicked off it, rocketing back up the stairs as the blade shot back at the villain, piercing through the earth in front of them before letting off a small tempest.

Summoning a great Zweihänder in my right, I prepared myself to face the villain, but he was much too ready. Creating a swirling dome of mist, he ensnared most of the class and Thirteen, and opened a portal directly in front of me. Unable to slow down or dodge it, I turned to try and see if another would open as my exit point.

I was sent hurtling into the fountain, destroying it and momentarily losing consciousness from the impact. It was for a moment, but enough to dispel my constructs and undo the seal hiding my natural form.

Thankfully, my cloak was made specifically to accommodate any transformations (mainly just my natural form; Prudentia and Anima were a later experiment and are not as drastic). Figuring most everyone else was teleported, I deemed it best to aid Eraser Head more directly. I should save my magic and take advantage of my physical prowess.

___

I, surprisingly, had a great deal of fun writing this chapter. I cannot wait to share the next part!

Also, for those who celebrate Thanksgiving (being Native American and European, I definitely do), have a wondrous time! For those of you who do not, all the better for getting in those Black Friday lines sooner.

Beta Reader, Editor, and Co-Author- @i-am-here-with-fanfic

6 notes · View notes

riin-ari · 6 years

Text

What will be tomorrow?

AO3

Pairing: TodoDeku Series: Boku no Hero Academia Summary: Midoriya is in danger during his internship and all the class can do is wait in the dorms for the Pro Heroes to get him back since they promised to not make any moves. In this time Todoroki has too much time to think about him and Midoriya. About them and what could happen to him.

The clock just went to past midnight and the whole class 1-A was still together in the common room of their dorms. The mood was tense and most of them tried to distract themselves from the reason why actually everyone was here at this time of the night.

To begin with – not the whole class was here. One was missing and everyone waited nervous about his return.

“Oh come on. This already happened often. That shithead will come through this door with his fucking smile and will get all flustered and shit about how sorry he is. He better is for letting me fucking wait here.” Bakugou breathed out loud. Next to him Kirishima gave him a nervous smile. “Yeah sure, you are right. But you know what they said.”

“Still, Midoriya is strong! He had it worse already! He will be fine!” Kaminari gave them a thumb up and tried to sound constructive but he wasn’t well with hiding his worry. They all were but he was right.

They have been already through a lot and a lot of dangerous things have happened to them. Various dangerous things that shouldn’t have happened to them in their age. After all they still were first years but they long knew that this didn’t mean anything anymore. In this society that changed too drastically they had no time anymore to “only be first years”.

“Deku-kun will be fine! He will be. The Pro Heroes said they will get him back. They said he will be back before the night ends.” Uraraka said with a mixed expression. They all would have been ready to run when they heard that Midoriya became the target on one mission of his internship.

“We all know he sometimes chooses reckless methods when he sees someone in danger. That’s Midoriya after all. He promised though that he wouldn’t act inappropriate anymore and would choose a wise choice for his actions. So I am very sure that we will get him back soon and he better has a good excuse on why he was in danger again.” Iida shoved his glasses back on his nose. The others couldn’t help but smiled. That was Midoriya after all.

One of them didn’t smile though. He sat aside from the others at the kitchen table staring straight ahead. His expression was neutral but that was only a façade. Behind his calm look Todoroki’s mind was driving him crazy.

It was so Midoriya to want to do this internship so bad so he wouldn’t fall back on anything or anyone.

It was so Midoriya to want to become a great hero in such a short amount of time.

It was so Midoriya that he didn’t see how much he did already to the people around him.

It was so Midoriya to run into a dangerous situation like this one.

It was so Midoriya that Todoroki sat here and couldn’t do anything and just worry that he will come back.

They all wanted to jump into action to help him but the teachers and Pro Heroes said they had to wait here. They had to promise and after all the bad publicity the school went through lately they had no other choice than to agree. They already did more than they should have done when they saved Bakugou but this time they didn’t even know much about the situation either.

It was only said in the afternoon that a villain attacked Sir Nighteye and two students. It was a fast attack and the actions behind the attack were still unclear. The two students were the targets as they were brought away from the Pro Hero quickly. There were more villains involved in this. One had a dangerous teleportation quirk that was very useful in bringing them away from the city in no time. Another one had an unknown illusion quirk that already was widely discussed in the news. The fact that they were able to overcome Sir Nighteye’s quirk in such a short time was already impressive. After that news after news came in again. Some of them were theories that the League of Villains were behind it again and they wanted to kidnap more U.A. Students. Not many of the information were actually useful. But suitable Pro Heroes were already chosen right after to get them back.

In the end though this is nothing unusual anymore. Villains come and will bring us all in danger. The Hero’s will try to fix it as best as they can but how much can they do? How often will they be able to just get someone back? When will be the time that we won’t be able to go outside anymore without the fear that something bad will happen today. Should we really trust those people who call themselves Heroes so much? All I see right now is defeat and loss after loss. U.A. should clearly think about what they do with their students.

Todoroki clenched his fists. He had heard already so much bad mouthing about U.A. from the media and usually he didn’t care. They chose this and they could go if they wanted to. They could just leave and search for a job that didn’t put them this much in danger. But nobody of them wanted that. They all chose this for themselves. Bakugou did and still wouldn’t think of doing anything else and so did Midoriya too. He chose this because he wanted it. He wanted to help the people around him even though they talked bad in the media about them. He wanted to help every single one of them. He would do this until the end because this was his dream and it made Todoroki angry that so many people just ignored this dream and gave their negative input on a topic they couldn’t imagine happening to themselves.

But there was one thing that he hated. One thing that he feared and hates so much. Especially with Midoriya being Midoriya. He put himself so much in danger for others. In situations like that he didn’t even thought about himself anymore because he wanted to save the other so bad. Even at the Sports Festival Midoriya damaged himself so much just for the sake of Todoroki. Just to tell him that he was worth it more than his father made him believe.

And now he was in a situation again where he could only wait if Midoriya would be fine and come back. He wanted to do something so bad. And the worst thing was – he regretted his choices right now so much. With them aiming to be heroes a lot of things were put behind. One of these things were their feelings. And Todoroki couldn’t avoid them anymore. He had to admit it to himself weeks ago already that he had feelings for Midoriya that were beyond friendship. And while the choice of never telling him wasn’t actually a hard decision for him since he knew this would never work, he still regretted it. Worst case scenarios ran through his head. A future in which he wouldn’t see Midoriya’s smile anymore. A future in which he would never be able to tell him how he really felt.

In this moment it didn’t even matter to him if Midoriya would like him back or would never want to speak with him again. The thought of not telling him the truth and live with a lie his whole life was more crushing than to know he said the truth and Midoriya would live on. As long as he was fine anything was alright.

Neither of them believed that this could be the end because nobody wanted to think that. They all just knew Midoriya would come back and this wouldn’t be the end. They all knew and yet Todoroki couldn’t help himself and made up scenario after scenario in his head how All Might would come through this door, tell them to sit down silently and explain with a shaking voice that Midoriya wouldn’t come back.

He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to lose him. Nobody did but in this moment he wanted to be selfish enough and think it would hurt him so much to lose someone as important as Midoriya. He already had such a special place in his heart in such a short time. He didn’t want to lose him. He didn’t want to run around with the fear of losing him all the time. Yet if they were heroes they always had to face this danger and had to live with this fear but wasn’t that unfair on its own? But they chose this and so it would be part of his life. He had to accept it but he didn’t want to accept that he would lose Midoriya. Even though they would never be together. As long as he could live his life like he wanted to and would honestly smile about it, it was okay for Todoroki.

“Todoroki-kun?” Yaoyorozu’s voice brought him out of this thoughts again. He didn’t even notice that his hands were shaking. He looked at the surprised but worried expression in her face.

“We were calling you but you didn’t answer.” She said calmly.

“I am sorry. I didn’t listen.” He noticed that the others were staring at him as well.

“Did … something happen?” He asked trying to keep his voice calm.

“No we were wondering if you are okay since you looked like you were collapsing any moment. Even your breathing was becoming faster and you wouldn’t answer when we called.” She explained.

He didn’t notice after all. For a moment he cursed his body for betraying him like that. He couldn’t explain his emotions and feelings that well and had a hard time even showing them openly. That he would lose himself so much in front of his classmates was something he didn’t thought would happen months ago. Only thanks to Midoriya it was possible for him to feel at least comfortable enough in their environment. Still he didn’t want anyone to know his thoughts.

He looked to the side a little embarrassed not knowing how he should react.

“Thank you for your concern but I am fine. I just lost myself in thoughts. Didn’t want to bother anyone.”

“Tsk. Halfy don’t shit your pants. He will be fine.” Bakugou said annoyed.

“Well I wouldn’t say it in those words but he is right. Midoriya will be fine. We will just wait here until he comes home so we can greet him. I am sure he has much to tell!” Tsuyu said and gently smiled at him.

Todoroki still couldn’t tell if they noticed something about his crush. From time to time even during lessons they would make comments about him and Midoriya or would say something to him that contained their green haired classmate. Sometimes it felt like they all knew but wouldn’t Midoriya know too then?

Suddenly the door to their common room opened and everyone turned their head to face the person coming in. At first Todoroki was afraid to even look who was standing there but soon he heard a relieved yell from a few of his classmates already and he opened his eyes which he didn’t remember closing and saw Midoriya Izuku standing there. He looked confused at first probably because everyone was still here but then relieve showed on his face. He smiled though you could clearly see how exhausted he was. “Guys … I am home.” He said with a trembling voice.

“DEKU YOU GAVE US A BIG FRIGHT!” Uraraka yelled and ran at him. Right after her was Iida who gave him a careful but still very forceful hug.

“I am sorry!” Midoriya yelped still under Iida’s hug. “You didn’t have to stay up though just for me.”

“Don’t be stupid. Come on! Details! Details! Are you alright? What happened? Did the villains get their asses kicked??” Ashido jumped up excited. The tension left the room fast.

So far Todoroki wasn’t able to say anything. He just stared at Midoriya and looked at all the others who came to him giving him a pat on the shoulder or hugged him. In Bakugou’s case it was a mumbled “I fucking told them you would come back. Next time do it earlier so we don’t have to sit her so long and wait” which everyone heard and knew that this was Bakugou’s way of showing he was glad to see the other safe.

He seemed to be okay. A few scratches on his arms and he had a bandage around his head. He told them that they actually were saved about two hours ago but needed to keep it a secret since the villains were still on the loose around this time and the media would have been just a disadvantage. Also his phone was crushed thanks to the incident and he had to see Recovery Girl first until he was allowed to leave. This time he was lucky enough that he hadn’t got any bad injuries. He told them on short what had happened but Todoroki still couldn’t focus much. He just stared at Midoriya, at his eyes which tried to look at everyone, his tired smile as he explained.

“Okay we are all really relieved that Midoriya is back but it’s really late already and Midoriya himself also should rest. We should call it a day and talk about everything tomorrow in the morning. Since we don’t have school tomorrow we have plenty of time to discuss.” Iida said at least and he was right. They were all exhausted from the tension and Midoriya needed rest the most.

Todoroki hasn’t moved from his spot and as his classmates went by him looking at him with a knowing expression they just nodded and left the room quickly. Yaoyorozu gave him a pat on his shoulder and he suddenly noticed that he and Midoriya were the only ones left in the room.

They were looking at each other but for a few minutes neither of them said a word.

“Midoriya …” He tried to say something but his voice was husky for some unknown reason.

“I am so glad I made it back.” Midoriya said and suddenly he was close, standing right in front of him.

“I am glad too. I was really concerned when I heard what happened.” Todoroki made a note to slap himself when he was alone. He sometimes cursed his not existing ability to find the right words like Midoriya often did. Right before he wanted to tell Midoriya everything as soon as he would come through that door and now he wasn’t able to bring out a word. His mind was full of things he wanted to say and things he wanted to do but his body wouldn’t do any of those things.

Instead he suddenly felt Midoriya’s hand on his cheek and soon he felt why exactly. “You are crying.” The smaller one said worried. Todoroki didn’t even notice that. His body really betrayed him today.

The next betrayal though was the fact that he couldn’t hold back anymore and hugged Midoriya really tight. He tried to still be careful enough to not hurt him but he couldn’t hold himself anymore. He buried his face into Midoriya’s shoulder and stayed like this. For a moment it was quiet and nothing was heard. The room was quiet and the light was dim. Only their uneven breathing was heard.

“Todoroki-kun …” Midoriya mumbled while softly stroking his back.

“I am sorry …” He wanted to draw back but Midoriya wouldn’t let him instead he hugged him tighter.

“This quirk was insane.” He said. “It would let me see nightmares and fears I had deep down. It let them appear before me and I had to see them over and over again until the Pro Heroes came to save me. I had no idea how to flee or what to do. I could only wait for help even though I was the one who wanted to help. I saw so many of the people I love and adore vanish and die.” His words were barely only a whisper but they were so close that Todoroki could hear them loud and clearly. “In one of those nightmares I saw you. I saw how you were beaten down in front of me and then died in my arms. I wanted to do something but my body was only able to watch and feel the pain. It was so clear in my head that for a moment I thought this illusion was reality. You died and I couldn’t even tell you …” His voice broke in a silent sob.

In this moment Todoroki knew and realized. He could feel Midoriya’s heartbeat and his trembling body in his arms. He knew that they both lived with the fear of losing. Everyone did. Everyday. But in this moment he knew that he would give his best to protect this precious person in front of him with his life so he wouldn’t regret anything.

“I like you. I like you really much and the thought of maybe not being able to tell you this suffocated me. I didn’t want to tell you because I had no hopes that you felt the same but since I heard that you were in danger again I couldn’t think of anything else. I don’t want to regret and I don't want to lose you.” Todoroki said with his head still on Midoriya’s shoulder. He felt when Midoriya’s body moved so he was face to face with him again. His heart beat so much in his shoulder at this moment and he didn’t know what to do with this. Midoriya’s hands were both on his cheeks again and he saw how he got on his tip toes and kissed Todoroki on the forehead. In this moment he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his body but the biggest feeling in this moment was relieve. Relieve that Midoriya was here with him and that he stayed with him. That he didn’t reject him even after saying all those things.

“I like you too and I can't imagine it any other way.” He smiled softly. His hands were still shaking but at this point both of them were. Neither of them didn’t know how to react or what to do. They were just happy right now even though their bodies were heavy and there was still so much on their minds that they wanted to talk about.

“We should really go to upstairs. I have no idea how longer I will stay up like this. We can talk more tomorrow like Iida said.” Midoriya laughed.

“Me neither.” He looked up to him shyly. “Would it be okay if I stay with you for the night? I really don’t know if I can sleep alone after all of this today.”

“You can stay with me forever I don’t mind.” Todoroki bluntly said and immediately blushed. Yes he said to himself he would be honest with Midoriya but he didn’t want to chase him away with his words right after they just probably got together. Another thing they should discuss in the morning. But to his relieve he only heard the other one laugh again.

“That sounds like a nice idea, Shouto.”

When Todoroki took Midoriya’s hand and went with him up to his room he knew that this would only be the beginning of something he couldn’t control. It was an uncommon thought he guessed. He probably should have been just happy that Midoriya was with him right now and that he was fine. The events came out good after all. This day ended how it should have ended – in the best way possible for this situation.

“You still seem like you have a lot on your mind.” Midoriya said nuzzling his body softly against the other while they walked.

“I shouldn’t be the one saying that after you just had so much to go through.” He said.

“Hm that doesn’t mean anything. I still want to know! I want to know your thoughts. I am curious. We can talk about mine tomorrow since I really just try to not think about them much but right now I would like to know.” He tilted his head.

They came into this room. “I can try to explain but give me some time.” He said.

“If I am allowed to I will borrow some sleeping clothes from you since I really don’t want to go downstairs to my room anymore and use your shower. You can think. Well only if you want to because it’s not like I am forcing you to tell me but you know I am just really trying to understand you and oh you can ask me anything too just so you know I mean if you are curious I can tell you right away and– “

“You are rambling again.” Todoroki laughed softly and already went to his dresser to give him some clothes. Midoriya blushed. “Sorry!”

“It’s fine. I think it’s cute!”

He really had to get used to this sort of interaction Todoroki thought after Midoriya went into the shower. This was nice though. Being careless and just to say what was on his mind. He knew this could be so easy but his mind didn’t allowed him that. Maybe he could learn this.

Minutes later they both were lying in his bed next to each other face to face. As soon as the light went out Midoriya took his hand and he noticed that he was trembling again. That’s why Todoroki laid his other arm around him. “Tell me if I can do something about those illusions.”

“Being here with you already helps. It’s just hard to get those images out of my head after I thought they were real. Distraction is fine and I know you are here with me right now and everyone else is safe too.”

Todoroki thought. “Mido-…Izuku. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure! Anything.”

“When you were away I was so worried and regretted that I didn’t told you. I thought about so many things and the future gave me an uneasy feeling in that moment. I know right now this is good like it is and we are both here but I am afraid something will happen again. With both of us aiming for the top and how the world just changes right now. I have no idea how to face all of this. Losing, changes. Are you ever afraid of that?”

It was quiet for a moment. “Yeah. I am. I think it’s at some point natural to be afraid but that only lets us make better decisions I guess. Don’t listen to me though that much because I don’t know it exactly either. Things will change and we will be different. Everyone will be. But it’s fine. We will find our way right? Just like I found my way back here to this dorm, to you. You wouldn’t have thought about that when you woke up today!” He chuckled softly.

“No I think not. I also didn’t think you would be in danger today but that’s just the Midoriya Izuku way I guess.”

“I will really try to not be so reckless. I have already done a lot of damage to my body and I worry so many people close to me. Every time I try to be careful things come into my way and I want to find a solution right away for this problem.”

“That’s admirable but you need someone who puts up with your recklessness. Someone who has your back so that person knows that you will be home for the evening again.” He hums.

Todoroki suddenly felt soft lips on his own. “Then I guess right now I am really at the right place to be safe. We will just do our best. ”

“Don’t worry Shouto. Even though we don’t know anything about tomorrow we will make the best out of it. And I think if we want to survive Iida’s lesson tomorrow about getting a healthy sleep schedule we better should rest.” He only got a soft grumble as response and stroked Todoroki’s hair. Who would have thought that a day that changed so drastically ended in such a peaceful way?

“Thank you, Izuku.”

“Anytime. Thank you too, Shouto.”

#TodoDeku #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #fanfic

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maarmendes · 4 years

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Chapter 6: Sports Festival [I]

Warnings: Swearing, fighting... (the main characters are pretty rough around the edges) Possibly really triggering material. This chapter deals with mental issues that might be triggering, please be careful.

Genre: OC insertion; angst; fluff; others.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x OC [Anahita Shuzenji]

Word Count: 2793

[Wattpad Link]

always, i'll care - Jeremy Zucker

The school was closed after the attack. We were stuck home waiting for the heroes to assess the situation and discuss new security measures for the school. Even just for a day, staying home felt too lonesome after getting used to the rowdy life my classmates offered me. I already missed how lively the class was but getting back probably wasn't the best decision.

After the incident, my nightmares were back worst than ever. I'd wake up early in the morning gasping for air, scratching my throat as if prying his hands away over and over again, but all that was left were the bruises he'd left on me. My grandmother would burst into the room and only then would I realize I'd been screaming. She'd hold me close and hush my tears away until I calmed down and pretended to sleep so she could do so as well. But instead, I'd brew some coffee and watch the sunrise on the balcony hoping the sun would burn away my pain.

On any regular day Aizawa would pick me up but since he was unavailable, I thought I'd walk to school alone like any normal teenager. It might not be right for me to be on the street like nothing could go wrong, but it felt good to pretend for a minute that I was just a student like all the others walking down the street next to me. It felt nice to do something with no one breathing down my neck, or so I thought before I saw Bakugo stomping my way, ready to scold me for leaving alone. I was glad for the company and the care but what I craved the most was freedom. Getting to class, everyone was already gossiping away about the recent events.

"Ana!" Kirishima rushed over to me. "Are you okay?! Was that really your dad at the USJ attack?" Kirishima's questions got everyone's attention. My hand unconsciously reached for the bandages around my neck.

"Wow! Ana's dad is a villain?!"

"And he was part of the attack? That's scary..."

"You think that's how the villain's knew about the schedule?"

"No way! Ana wouldn't do that... Right?"

Their voices started to fade as my own thoughts clouded my mind. I hadn't thought about what would happen when other people found out about my situation. It was obvious they wouldn't accept someone who's directly linked to a villain, I wouldn't either if I were them. I watched my friends struggle to face me or look me in the eye. Mina, Kaminari, Sero, even Kirishima... All of them avoided my gaze in silence. I choked on the knot in my throat as I tried to remain calm under their judgemental stare. All those stares burning on my skin sent shivers down my spine. Suddenly, a bag flew past me and banged against the wall at the end of the classroom, snapping me out of my panicked state. I turned around to see Bakugo fuming.

"You stupid fucks think you know it all?! MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!"

Bakugo was about to unleash hell when the door slid open up, revealing a wrapped up Aizawa with a tired look in his eyes, too tired to bother to scold the explosive kid in front of him.

"What do you think you're doing? Sit down."

"Aizawa... You're supposed to be in the hospital!" I rushed to him but he shrugged me off.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He gave me a reassuring nod before he waved me off. Everyone did so as the teacher began the class. "I'm glad everyone's alright after the incident, but the fight is far from over..." A collective feeling of dread filled the room before Aizawa continued. "The school decided to go forward with the Sports Festival."

"Couldn't you have phrased that better?" I complained.

"But, wait..."

"Isn't it a bit dangerous to go forward with the Festival?" Ojiro and Kaminari argued between themselves.

"The U.A. wants to show people that everything's under control. And, as you all know, this is a great opportunity to be noticed by the world and find a company to work with. Be advised, it won't be easy so you should do your best to prepare this week."

The class fell into an enthusiastic chatter as they broke into the usual groups except for me. I didn't move from my seat. I knew I wasn't welcome anywhere anymore after seeing their reactions this morning. No one trusted me anyway. Thankfully, Aizawa told me to follow him which took me out of that uncomfortable environment. Once in his office, he wasted no time questioning me.

"Did he do that to you?" Aizawa nodded towards my bruised neck and I covered it on instinct.

"It looks worst than it is, trust me. I should've covered them better..." I tried to hide in my shirt but the heaviness of the purple handprints around my neck wouldn't leave me.

"I should've been there... I'm sorry. This wouldn't happen if I-"

"Are you insane?!" I frowned. "You saved the whole class! Nana told me you kept fighting for us until they knocked you out cold. How can you apologize?"

"I promised he would nev-" I stopped him with a hand over his mouth.

"Don't you dare! If you say anything this stupid ever again, I will never forgive you."

Aizawa nodded with an uneasy look in his eyes. We talked for a while about what happened and I told him everything about the fight and everything after. My hand kept unconsciously rubbing the place that bastard grabbed my neck as I recalled what happened just like I did every night after. When I asked Aizawa what happened to him, he refused to tell me. Saying he didn't want me to know about it yet. But he reassured me was that the villains were after All Might. He was about to tell me to go back when I stopped him.

"I don't think I can use my quirk." Aizawa stared at me, waiting. "I tried using it yesterday... But all I could see was him." Once again, my hands find the sore place around my throat. "I don't want to be like him."

"Ana, you're nothing like him. Don't worry, you'll be fine. I know you will."

With a nod and a smile, I left the teacher with his work. If Aizawa said I'll be fine, then I'll be fine... Right? I shook the bad thoughts out of my head. Right now, getting back to class was already tough enough, let alone fixing myself.

My classmates were in their world while my mind kept making me feel unwanted. I knew it wasn't true but I couldn't stop thinking about it anyway. It seemed like slowly everything that man said would happen was coming true. It was ridiculous how his words were slowly starting to make sense to me.

"Pipsqueak! What's with that stupid look in your face?" Bakugo slammed his hand on my desk and bent down to look me in the eyes. "Are you being dumb again?"

"Back off, Peppermint Breath." I shoved him back. "I was never dumb, you're just not smart enough to understand me."

"Hah! There's my dumbass." Bakugo smirked at me and messed up my hair with the small explosions in the palm of his hands.

Bickering with Bakugo felt familiar, like coming home at the end of the day. Some would say it was stupid but I'd say it's our way to show each other we're right here. And I was thankful for that. He knew me well enough by now to know this whole incident took a toll on me, especially after my breakdown at the hospital. For the next week, he would chase away anyone who asked about what happened, my injuries, or even dared to speak to me outside of class. I thought maybe he was just extra grumpy but after a couple of days, it was obvious he was being overprotective. I had to admit it was endearing, even if he got us in trouble a couple of times. Even when our classmates tried to apologize for their actions, I had to stop him from blowing them away.

Training with him was just as fun. He knew I wasn't supposed to push myself. He'd always partner up with me to stop me if he noticed I was getting tired. Even a slight pant and he'd tap out and drag me to Nana's office. It became really annoying very fast, but he was right. I was pushing myself. I could barely close my eyes at night thanks to his face being burned on my mind. Every night I'd wake up in cold sweats, panting and screaming, scratching the wounds around my throat open every single night just for my grandma to heal them up again. She was suffering twice as much as I was with having to calm me down from my panic attacks at all hours of the night. She prescribed some medicine that helped me sleep better, but the nightmares never left. There's no medicine for that.

The day before the festival, I invited Bakugo over for dinner to celebrate with Aizawa and Nana. We were coming back from school when I opened up the door to Aizawa and Nana already waiting for us.

"Why are you guys here so early?" Both me and Bakugo threaded carefully, feeling the seriousness hovering around the room.

"Ana, why don't you sit down with us?" Nana sighed when I made no effort to move.

"Alright. Ana, your grandmother is worried about you and has reported your condition to the UA. From now on you're excused from all events and training until your condition improves." Aizawa announced, as if ripping a bandaid off.

"What?! I'm perfectly fine! I can fight!"

"You can barely have a good night of sleep, what do you think you'll achieve like this?" Aizawa pointed out sternly.

"You know very well I've been waiting for this opportunity. You can't take this away from me!" I yelled out in rage but they didn't budge.

They couldn't even face me, both staring at their feet. This decision might've been made by the school and not them, but that doesn't erase the fact they ratted me out. Looking back at Bakugo in hopes he'd back me up, but he was facing away too. That's when I realized they were all together on this. Against me. Even Bakugo. Enraged, I stormed out of the apartment, ignoring their calls for me to come back. All that came to mind was his words.

They want to control you, to stop you, to hold you down.

No, that's not...

They'll never let you be yourself, not fully.

They wouldn't... Right?

They will always restrain you somehow.

But they are...

My mind kept racing, his words spinning around in my head until they somehow started to make sense. They're keeping me off the spotlight to keep me at bay in the dark. They won't be able to control me anymore if I'm exposed to the world. Maybe that's why I can't be left unsupervised. So they know everything. So they can stop me. So they can control me. So they can restrain me. So they can keep me in shackles. So they can-

Suddenly someone grabbed my arm and I instinctively spun around to throw a punch but they caught my wrist.

"For a shortie you sure are fast." Bakugo was panting from running after me

"Don't touch me!" Bakugo was taken aback by the cold tone in my voice. I pushed him back and tried to walk away but I couldn't shake his hands off of me.

"What's up with the shitty attitude? It's me, you idiot!" He held me in place as if I'd disappear if he didn't grab onto me.

"Stop touching me!" I tried to pry his hand away, my breathing becoming more erratic the longer he held onto me. "What makes you so different from them?! They're all trying to control me, and so are you!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"You're always hanging over me! I can barely move without you breathing down my neck. I can't even take a piss without you standing by the door, making sure I don't escape like... like some criminal!" I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my eyes, my fingers getting tangled in my hair as I tried my best to calm my breathing.

"What? That's not-" Bakugo stared at me as he finally figured it out. "That's what he said, isn't it?! You know he was just trying to get into your head and you're letting him! You know he's trying to ruin you! Don't be so stupid!" Bakugo shook me and something inside me finally snapped.

"Maybe I am stupid..." I felt my eyes change and my hair started to rise. I couldn't control my breathing anymore as I panted in a panic. Soon, there were objects floating all over the street, Bakugo's feet also starting to rise from the floor as the air pressure fell, finally making him release me from his tight grasp. "I'm stupid enough to believe you'd be on my side. Stupid enough to believe you all wanted what's best for me, to keep me safe. But why would it matter if I can't live anymore?! I can't go out. I can't go anywhere. I can't even be alone!" I watched Bakugo hold on to my arms to keep his balance and struggle to talk as the air pressure was slowly lowering and the oxygen in the air diminished. "What's better, to live stuck in a box being watched from every angle like some caged animal, or die doing whatever the fuck you want?" The look in Bakugo's eyes was undeniable. He was scared. Everybody was. That's why they kept a close watch over me.

Despite the pressure, despite the low oxygen, despite the tears in the corners of his eyes, Bakugo launched towards me. Suddenly everything dropped to the floor and it became easier for him to breathe again. Bakugo gasped for air with his arms tightly wrapped around me, refusing to let go.

"Stop being dumb and breathe. Slowly... Breathe with me." Bakugo panted as he regained the ability to breathe and so did I. Slowly, his tight embrace turned into me hanging onto him for dear life. "You know none of that is true... We're a package deal now, remember? You fight, I fight. And I wouldn't let anyone screw with you like that. Not on my watch. Not even over my dead body!" He pulled back to stare me in the eyes. "So... Trust me and let me win that shit for the both of us."

My legs gave out as all strength left me and I sobbed into Bakugo's chest, blubbering apology after apology as he held me tightly. He held me close and shushed me until I cried out all the negativity I had pilled up inside me. Only then did I notice all the pent up anger and sadness I had deep inside me. I thought I was fine but, deep down, I was never over him and what he had done to me. Bakugo let me vent out all that I wasn't able to say for a long time. From the day my mom died, to the fight at USJ, to today when I couldn't control myself anymore. He listened silently, only hushing me when I apologized to him again and again for losing control of my quirk. Then, he gave me a piggyback ride home and tucked me into bed to rest.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Bakugo. I'll never use it again, I'm sor-"

"Listen up, Brat. If you apologize to me again, I'm blowing your vinyl collection up." I stared silently at the frowning boy with blasts in his hands. "Good girl. Now sleep."

"What, I don't get a kiss? Meanie..." I teased playfully.

"I see you're feeling better now."

I pouted up at the grumpy boy but he didn't budge from his spot near the door. So, with a sad look on my face, I pretended to go to sleep. The boy grunted in frustration, pulling the covers over my head to hide me. I struggled to no avail but stopped when I felt something closer to my head and hear what I thought was the sound of a kiss. When I finally get over my fight with the covers, Bakugo was already gone, the door was closed and the lights were out.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

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etrepouretre · 7 years

Text

Cogsworth would be there soon - a thought which literally plagued his mind at this hour. It was expected - something he could time almost to the minute. . and something he both longed for and despised all at the same time. With the night came utter and complete solitude - something he had been seeking, longing for since the transformation -- and something, at least outwardly, he could not stand.

Ah, the shadows were mocking, the darkness appallingly taunting -- the creaks from the floor annoying and the sparks from the fire little more than a hassle. These things all lead to - as the Beast saw it on a superficial level - needless contemplation. . and that led to other things, unwanted things. Thoughts so new to him - so very new, so. . . wrong. Who was at fault, here. . ? Why were things they way they were and would they ever be fixed? . .

The early hours of the night brought superficial answers, of course - this was the fault of that damned enchantress. He, and only he - not the staff, for they were far too insignificant - was a victim. This curse had found its way into their lives because she was jealous - envious of the plethora of wealth he possessed. How could she not be? The very castle stood testimony to this - let alone the ornate decor of the interior.

But the darkening sky brought new thoughts - darker thoughts. . which were all the more real and, though he'd never admit it, true. . It was not the fault of the enchantress or of the staff that things were this way. If anything his dear servants were the 'victims', only he to blame, and this. . this creature which glared back at him whenever he caught his reflection was a 'true' image. . That was how he looked. The face which he was peering from - with its contorted look of horror and dismay - was . . was how he looked. Truly looked. The charming light brown hair, human-like face with its perfect complexion. . that was the facade. This . . 'self inflicted' dark age they found themselves in. . that was all his fault - his fault for being some arrogant creature - not even human! - who cared a bit too much about all the wrong things, prizing wealth and power over humanity as a whole - not even his own. . Ah, how fitting this form was. How. . disgustingly. . fitting.

And how disgusting this humdrum routine had become. Why did he tourment himself so? Finding some secluded area to sit and think on these things every night -- Usually the library, for that area was always quiet. . it wasn't like there was time for such leisure, after all. Not with time. . running. . out. .

He'd enter, running long - almost clawed - fingers along the spines of the books. . One after another, nail sometimes getting 'stuck' between the crevice of two titles. . Not that he cared. He'd just drag his finger along with all the more force, sometimes going so far as to chip the nail. Again, this just seemed fitting - this inhuman hand being damaged by such. . dainty things - books, objects for learned people, pleasure for the educated, for. . . Princes. Still, there was never anything worth reading. He must have walked along the perimeter of the shelves dozens of times every night - perhaps pulling one book. .but when it wasn't exactly what he wanted he'd sometimes feed it to the fire. Why, if he had to suffer, wasn't it only fair that--- . . .

No. This is when the contemplation and horrible period of reminiscing would begin. He'd sit at the desk - ornately carved from the finest and darkest of wood . . ah, another symbol of wealth and grandeur! - sometimes drag his nails into the wood - scratch the faces off the finely cut figures. . Nobody deserved to look so-- . . superficially beautiful, so. . idealized -- . . . And oh, oh how he hated himself for doing this. He had spent so much having them carved in the first place - so neatly, so. . elegantly, so. . to his standard of beauty - and ah, how easily they were destroyed by that inhuman thing he called a hand.

The desk sat by the fire - the only thing in the room other than his breathing, the floors, and the winds and trees outside that made a sound in this room. At one point this set up was ideal - the fire providing the perfect light to read by. . Now its brilliant red, orange and yellow hues only serving to illuminate all the. . imperfections. This is where he'd begin to think on things - prompted by that horrible light - eyes darting back and forth to find the source of every sound. He wanted to be alone - so very isolated and alone. . Things were simpler when he sought solitude to hide himself while looking. . looking like this. . People could come in as long as he was allowed the time to hide himself in the shadows first - and by god, they had better allow him the time if they valued their lives. . Further, his newfound colouring worked so well when it came to lurking in shadows.

But now, now that he began to . . understand - though he'd never profess such a thing - he opted to stay by the light. There was nothing symbolic about it - no brilliant moment of epiphany, no. . 'coming out from the darkness and finally being able to see' in regards to the matter. . No, it was just his way of . . facing things, dealing with them and. . being forced to accept them. A self inflicted punishment, as it were. Even so, the sounds made him somewhat paranoid. The Beast was still "The Prince", still a prideful thing though. . with such an appearance that part of him was easier to suppress. . and woe, such a tragedy it was when someone would enter unannounced, see. . see that creature illuminated by those dancing flames - lanky, almost dead looking and painfully angular. . . was that not how the stereotypical villain looked? . . Ah, there would be nowhere to hide himself at that point. Such. . a disgraceful show - at least in his mind - he put on, based on appearances alone.

Still, he expected Cogsworth. Expected him to come in - ah, surely all the servants knew of the Beasts nightly routine by now - and say something. . anything. . Which would break the curse of contemplation, anger him for catching him in such a pathetic state and cause him to feel so very thrilled that someone remembered, or, cared enough to stop by. . Even if it was part of his job.

Both elbows on the table, he rested his chin in his hands and waited. The fire would continue to dance, the winds continue to blow -- and the Beast would continue with his contemplation - much to his pleasure and dismay - and remain in this pose. . Until he heard the door open. Then, and only then, he'd sit up regally - dismissing this almost submissive and depressing pose, snarl a bit, and wave an uninterested and almost dismissive hand. . which was actually intended to send the opposite message of 'come in, then'. . . Though, chances were, "Why do you insist on bothering me?" would be the only words, much to the Beast's inner dismay, he'd get.

-------------

. . . Florian? At the very mention of that name his brows furrowed - shadows all the more enhanced by the dancing fire. Ah, it must have been quite a sight - quite a monstrous sight indeed. If he realized this he cared little of it - no, there were other things on his mind, and. . outward appearance, if only for this moment. . was not one of them. Of course, as expected, Cogsworth was just on time. He said his bit - spoke to . . 'Florian', who was no longer there. Florian was a pretty thing, a royal thing - a man 'worthy' of the title 'prince' in almost every respect. Did the name not imply beauty itself? Flowers, flowers, flowers. . . such charming things. Charming things which are admired, then tossed aside when the petals start to fa--- . . . . Florian indeed. How utterly infelicitous - a most unfortunate of name bestowed upon one suffering from such --- cruel consequences. . . for such foolish actions. But this. . this was known only in hindsight, as most important things tended to be. The name, no longer fitting, he hoped would be forgotten for an indefinite amount of time - at the very least until things fell back into their normal, monotonous ways --- . . oh, he'd be thankful for that. Perhaps even consider changing. . . But such things didn't happen overnight. After all, lifestyles tended to be unwavering - why should his, as flawed and corrupted as he now saw it was, be an exception? There was still much to be worked out before he could even hope to truly change things. . . . . But dealing with Cogsworth was the more pressing matter. His plan for the long term could wait - at least until they found someone capable of breaking the curse. . . But as Cogsworth had caught him in a more contemplative mood - more so than usual as time seemed to be running out all the faster - he'd spare a moment, or at least try, before dismissing him. The ability to have a civil conversation was one he'd need to practice, anyway--- --- but no words came. He shook his head - the first dismissive motion. What was there to say? The proper 'no, but thank you'. . ? . . . No, no those words would seem forced -- unnatural, surreal, even, when coming from his mouth, in his voice-- from his. . being. Was there no way to ease into it? "Just. . .leave me alone. You know your job - Get back to it." He paused a moment before waving the other out, dismissing him fully. He had gone about that all wrong - once again. . . And yet, he was somewhat proud of himself. The other had been met with much worse words before - harsher tones, more threatening sentences . . for even entering the room, let alone saying Florian. There was a time where that alone would lead to. . consequences - on a good night, something being thrown. . and oh, how easy that had become in this new form; on a bad night? Well, there were dungeons and spending a day in those never did much . . . too much. Still, the sentence of a night was often shortened to a half night. . and that to an hour or so. He'd send others to explain the news, never giving it himself, always giving false pretenses for it - "a new captive needs the cell", "they're cleaning up a bit", so on and so forth. A prince never went back on his word - that was simply how things had to be. A day's sentence was to last the duration of the day. A Beast, however. . . "No-- no wait." If there was a hint of desperation there the years of keeping to himself - if only because he 'was a better person' and needn't divulge things to others - worked wonderfully to mask it. "Before you go, tell me. . " Something? Anything? ". . .if you have heard anything from the outside. From the neighbourking kingdoms, at the very least? . . Even something interesting from someone. . . in this place. . " . . This dreaded, horrible place. If they muttered, he'd probably never know. Most things were best left unsaid under these circumstances - or, if said, at least in places where the walls didn't have eyes and ears. Things had a way to get back to a Prince - but with the mostly self enforced seclusion. . not so much, anymore. Now Cogsworth he trusted - enough, anyway. There was always some general uneasiness - especially when he always feared hearing someone complaining - someone saying this entire thing was his fault. It was, but, hearing it from someone else. . ah, reality - how hard it would hit. The outside kingdoms. . news from them was even less likely. He didn't even know why he asked anymore. There'd never be word from them. . . Now to wait and hope there was something worth while. The more he thought on the outside kingdoms the angrier he felt himself getting. . ah, no news would warrant that once all too common reply he almost feared. Something to throw. . something to throw. . He looked away from Cogsworth - didn't want to see him while he spoke, anyway. At the very least, there were books . . in abundance.

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

Another thing about how rwby views trauma survivors reacting to their abuse or unfortunate background is that it frames the solution to healing is by serving in armed forces. Weiss and Blake joined Beacon to escape their abuser. Ren and Nora joined Beacon after the loss of their families. Winter joined the military to escape Jacques and I'm assuming will become the new Atlas general after Ironwood's death. The Huntsmen Academies are all framed as these safe havens (literally with Mistral) for anyone who can carry a weapon, meanwhile anyone who can't or doesn't want to join, or joins a group outside of the institution is depicted as bad.

To say that this is all muddied would be a huge understatement because even if we put aside the complicated message of, "Overcome your abuse by learning to punch back," at this point the combined huntsmen-military is no longer presented as a means of escape. Rather, between the rewriting of Winter's history – she has apparently been manipulated by Ironwood this whole time rather than choosing the military as a means of escaping her abuser – as well as the military aligned huntsmen – FNKI aren't heroes like RWBYJNOR anymore, willingly protecting their home, they're children who have been forced into this conflict – there's now this major divide between fighters-on-their-own and fighters-as-part-of-the-institution. We could even read this as extending to the huntsmen academies themselves, given that one has fallen, one was destroyed, and the other lost its figurehead. They used to be presented as havens for struggling individuals... now, not so much. The plot's message is not that heroes win by banding together through established structures that were designed to help those coming from bad circumstances (note how aware Ozpin is of these backstories: Qrow's bandit tribe, Blake's White Fang history, looking into Ruby's defense of the store, etc.), but rather you win by rag-tag individuals making decisions based on friendship.

Yet simultaneously, that divide is by no means neat and tidy (since plenty of stories have that latter message). As we've discussed elsewhere, RWBYJNOR is ingrained in these structures despite the story rejecting them. They got their initial training at Beacon (how many fans have argued that they learned enough there? That they're basically full-fledged huntsmen already? So, that school was pretty important, yeah?). They worked with Ironwood for months. They're using the prestige of their licenses to get people to listen to them. They're hijacking military equipment to give the world orders to prepare for an attack. Ruby became a general in all but title in that moment, in the same way that Weiss became the Remnant equivalent of a cop when she tried to arrest her father. Volumes 6-8 suddenly wanted to send an anti-military message without considering the context of their story (what does a military mean in a world where unambiguously evil monsters attack, as opposed to a world where these "monsters" are minorities?) and they failed to separate the heroes from the structures they so passionately reject. You cannot have the group stand in opposition to Ironwood and everything he represents while also encouraging the audience to oohh and ahhh at Jaune whipping out his huntsmen license to lead a group of civilians to safety. The supposed cruelty of the former and supposed heroism of the latter are meant to exist simultaneously, despite the contradiction. We went from the message that huntsmen academies, including Atlas', are a haven from abuse, poverty, etc. but now, suddenly, certain types of escapes are no longer morally sound. So just ignore how many of the heroes took the "wrong" path.

And then on top of all of that we have Rhodes. RWBY is pushing the individualism message hard nowadays – that a group of friends is better than a general and his soldiers just ignore that Ruby is their leader and they all follow her orders – yet it's Rhodes' individuality that is criticized in Cinder's flashback. He, as a single person, tries to take on the complex situation of helping an abused child and he failed. The fandom's reaction to his efforts is pretty telling because most kept falling back on structural solutions: "Why didn't he just call CPS? Why didn't he get her admitted early like Ruby? Why didn't he approach some superior to fix all this?" Most fans seemed to grudgingly acknowledge that kidnapping Cinder and raising this traumatized kid on the road while hunting grimm was... not the best idea, so they turned to the very things they've rejected in Ruby's part of the story: laws that people have to follow, schools with an hierarchy that can serve as support, someone above you whose orders you follow and whose seniority can help you in a tough situation. In Cinder's flashback people wanted Remnant to have structural solutions because, clearly, leaving one flawed man to fix this situation on his own didn't turn out so well. They (and the writers) just don't want Ruby to have to obey those same structures because Ruby is the title hero they've grown to love over eight years. We feel like we know Ruby and we assume that if Ruby is in charge she'd totally make the best decision. But Rhodes? He's a stranger, someone we see for less than ten minutes, so his flaws are far easier to home in on. Few are willing to acknowledge that Ruby is Rhodes on a much larger scale, trying things because she wants to help, but ultimately doing far more harm because she's incredibly inexperienced and is just running on her own, individual ideas, not any of the structures in place that are meant to deal with such crises. Rhodes' "Idk what else to do, so I guess I'll teach a tortured kid how to defend herself and hope for the best" is Ruby's "Idk what else to do, so I guess I'll drop Atlas on Mantle, leave with the Relics, move everyone to Vacuo, and hope for the best." The primary difference is that while Rhodes is punished through his death and the narrative makes it clear that this was the wrong choice (Cinder murders everyone and becomes a villain), whereas Ruby's screwups are continually framed as heroic. And that's because the show can't make up its mind about this structural vs. individual approach. Do huntsmen need to be held responsible for their actions, or do they need complete freedom to do the right thing with the belief that anything that goes wrong was completely out of their hands (Yangs' take)? Well, that depends entirely on which huntsmen we're talking about. RWBY's idea that some people are intrinsically good and others intrinsically bad means that the writing – and the fandom – can demand rogue huntsmen be held accountable while simultaneously cheering the group running away from arrest; curse Clover for following orders while simultaneously gushing over how loyal the group is to Ruby; condemn lies that Ozpin gives while simultaneously justifying the ones Ruby gives, etc. RWBY has no clear message, just the insistence that whatever our heroes does is good. The path they've taken, learning to fight to escape horrific situation is a good thing. The path Rhodes laid out, teaching Cinder to fight to escape a horrific situation, is a bad thing. It comes down to the characters, not the situation.

Finally, yeah, there's a complete lack of acknowledgment that either option – structural or individual – alienates those who don't know how to fight. This is seen most clearly in Whitley who asks why he'd want to be a huntsmen when he can afford an army, yet when armies are painted as unquestionably bad, the story won't admit that this leaves Whitley stranded. He had no way to escape his abuse like Winter and Weiss did. He had no way to defend himself when Weiss shoved a weapon in his face. The story never had to grapple with where it's left characters who can't fight and who shouldn't make the evil choice of relying on soldiers because Whitley unexpectedly got on Weiss' good side and gained her protection. It doesn't matter anymore because Whitley is a Good Guy now who the group will take care of. But if he'd continued to disagree? Gone to his room instead of calling Klein? If, in the future, he does something that annoys his sisters and they decide to ignore him like they did before? Well, Whitley is screwed. In a world besieged by grimm – with attacks growing with each volume – he wanted to rely on an army to help solve these problems. But then that was said to be wrong, the general died, and the army, far as we can tell, was left behind to die as well. So what's left? Rely on the huntsmen. Just hope that there are enough (there aren't), that you get a good one (not a Lionheart, or a Raven, or a Cardin, or a Dudley, or...), and that the good ones care enough to bother protecting you. Even if the story hadn't gone out of its way to show how terribly flawed individual huntsmen are – from Lionheart's devastating betrayal to Qrow teaming up with Tyrian – from a practical perspective it's just not enough. Volume 8 showed without a doubt that in a war like this, one built on a witch's ability to summon endless grimm, an army is necessary. Salem would have been into Atlas in a second without those soldiers holding her forces back. Yang, Jaune, and Ren wouldn't have gotten to the whale without that army. Yet the story never acknowledges this, instead pretending like the few individuals we see – the limited numbers the characters keep admitting are horrendously limited – could have somehow saved the day without that assistance. Everything we're seeing nowadays – which characters can use these institutions to escape abuse, which can lie to help the war, which should rely on structures as opposed to their own ideas and physical power – is a mess of inconsistent, often contradictory messages.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #abuse tw

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