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inkskinned · 1 year

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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

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f0point5 · 6 days

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would you consider writing the time when max realized that he loved yn?

i remember that he was like in a mindset of idgaf what happens with her im js happy being best friends and having her in my life but i wonder how he got to that point

The way this came out…idk I hope you like it 😂 I really wish I’d retconned this whole situation but I stayed true to the fic timeline.

I just…I really hope you don’t hate it 🫠

✨Set after Max wins his 3rd championship in Qatar✨

Honestly, who (is he) to fight the alchemy?

Max has been in love before. He knows what it feels like. It felt like winning a race. The adrenaline, the elation, the satisfaction, the sliver of relief. He didn’t think there was a better feeling, and if you feel that when you’re with someone, then that must be love.

He never felt like that with you. So he wasn’t in love. He loved you, but he wasn’t in love. Thank God for that, he’d always thought to himself. Max didn’t put effort into games he wouldn’t win and the games you played with men didn’t have a rule book. He was just so lucky, to have you as a friend, and a roommate, and a feline co-parent, and that’s how it would stay.

Except, when the journalist had asked him if you were going to live with him after he retired, he didn’t know what to say. Of course you would, except, how would your boyfriend feel about that? And of course he wanted you to, but he wanted a family, too. But you were family, in some complicated way that he’d never realised before that moment might mean that you wouldn’t always be…with him.

And he didn’t have the desire or the language skills to explain that to a random German journalist. He’d rattled off some answer about how he never knew what the future would bring. It was true, he didn’t think much about the future. But he should have, because when he did it always had you in it.

He wanted a house, and a wife, and kids. It wasn’t like he envisaged doing all that with you. Except, he hadn’t envisaged doing any of it without you, either. It was always you imagined having breakfast with, you he imagined would teach his kids to ski, you he thought about when he thought about buying one of those mansions in the hills above Monaco. Naively, he hadn’t imagined either of you with partners that would mind you and Max living your lives together. It sounded fucking stupid when he thought about it. But, it’s not like he was going to marry you, because he’s not in love with you.

It’s not like I’m in love with her. He’d said that before.

Aren’t you, Max?

Isn’t he?

Is he?

So now here he is, at this totally-not-a-party party, celebrating his this third world championship, wondering if he’s in love. Wondering if that even matters. The music is loud, not enough to drown out his thoughts. He can’t even drink too much because he still has a race tomorrow. He feels lightheaded enough.

He doesn’t know why he’s questioning himself. He has an answer. He knows what being in love feels like, and he doesn’t feel that about you. How he does feel about you, is…not quantifiable. Except he’d really like a name for it right about now. One that’s not going to spin his whole world off its axis. But then, he’s not exactly the axis, is he? Not really.

He should feel like the centre of the universe tonight. He’s lost count of how many times he’s received praise and congratulations, plaudits, and pictures, even gifts. Everyone wants to be in his orbit, everyone wants to talk to him, everyone except you.

You’re leaning against the balcony, bopping along to the music, talking to his dad of all people, your flushed face and lazy grin telltale signs you’ve had too much to drink. Jos is as close as he ever gets to smiling, a telltale sign he’s had too much to drink, and the two of you are, as usual, talking over each other. His eyes linger on your long legs and gentle curves. It would be cutting a corner, to say he’s in love with you, because how can you not be at least a little bit infatuated with the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen? But that’s not love, exactly. Even half drunk, with all this talk of spinning and the party beginning to blur at its edges, the only thing he can see clearly is you. You don’t even notice him looking, because you’re so used to feeling eyes on you.

No, being around you has never felt like winning much of anything. It actually feels a bit like he’s fighting for his life. It feels like…driving, he realises, as the gin starts to hit.

Being around you was like being in the RB19. Like being behind the wheel of something that could kill you, but fits you like a second skin. Like the illusion of having control of a force of nature. It was like living on a knife edge, but building a home there. Comfortable with the uncomfortable, they’d called him, and nothing had ever made him as uncomfortable as you.

If that was being in love, he’d probably been in love with you for as long as his dad said he was.

You don’t notice him looking, but Jos does. He waves Max over, and Max is glad for an excuse. His body gets up before he’s decided to, and he blinks furiously as he walks, trying to focus his thoughts enough to hold a conversation with you when he’s beginning to think he might-

“Maxy,” you say, grinning like it’s the first time you’ve seen him all night.

Fuck. Fuck.

Oh, fuck. The gin’s coming back. For a second he feels like he’s either going to ask you to marry him or vomit all over you.

“I’m leaving. She’s all yours,” Jos says, and Max steadies himself. His dad leans over and gives him one last hug before switching to Dutch. “Get her to bed. And yourself, also. You’ve still got to race tomorrow,”

Max nods and waves him off, closing his arms around you when you wobble, leaning into him for stability. Jos gives you a pat on the shoulder before disappearing into the crowd, and you teeter again, pushing you further into Max. The extra weight is like a balm on what is now a gaping, raw wound, with the nerves exposed. He will never recover from this.

You turn in his arms, scrunching your nose in displeasure as you look up at him. “I hate this hat,” you flick the brim of his World Champion cap. “Worst hat they ever made you. Next year, we do a better one,”

“Okay,” he says, chuckling as the hat leaves his head.

“Can I have this?” You’ve already put it on.

“Sure,”

Take it. Take my Valkyrie. Take the trophy. Take my last name.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He doesn’t know how he’s looking at you. Is it different than he looked at you two hours ago? Different then when you were 19?

He just shrugs, tipping the hat back for you, since it’s so big. “You’re drunk,” he yells over the music.

You lean in, so close that he’s intoxicated by the scent of your perfume, champagne, and Red Bull. He turns away from you slightly, because he’s had too much to drink to be this close to you.

“I know,” you whisper to him, your lips grazing his cheek as you talk. That’s not helping. He turns back to you, finding your eyes searching his. For the first time, he’s worried what you might see. Because you’ve always seen him too clearly. It was awful, then exhilarating, now it’s just fucking terrifying. Your eyes narrow and Max thinks you’re about to outright accuse him of wanting- “You’re supposed to be drunk, too,”

He laughs. He laughs at your pout, at getting away with it, for a little while longer, at least, and he laughs because on the night he’s won a world championship he realises he lost his heart a long time ago.

Loving you didn’t feel like a winning a race, it felt like driving in one. And after all, isn’t driving all he ever wanted to do?

“I am, Engel,” he says, “trust me, I am.”

#max verstappen x reader #f1 x reader #max verstappen fanfiction

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comradekatara · 3 months

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Any fun Aang facts/ headcanons/ thoughts?

i don’t know if this is exactly fun but i think a lot about aang coping the first couple years after the end of the war. like i think on a spectrum of “the war is over and im so happy!!” to “suddenly thrust into a leadership position that is uniquely isolating and horrible,” aang perhaps isn’t struggling as much as the new firelord, but it’s a close thing.

i think katara would be the one who is happiest out of all of the gaang, since the war being over relieves this huge weight off her shoulders and she also gets to do the fulfilling work of rebuilding her tribe and finally being able to live up the potential she’s always imagined for herself, being able to preserve and pass on her heritage to a hopeful new generation. (that isn’t to say that she isn’t traveling the world with aang, trying to mitigate the damage caused by the war, but she would go back home as soon as possible. she needs to see gran gran!!!) there’s a sense of pride and satisfaction and joy to her role in this world that cannot be denied.

suki is in a similar position, where as the leader of the kyoshi warriors, her reunion with her sisters and their return to kyoshi island would be triumphant and joyous, and she gets to participate in the process of teaching a new generation of warriors, passing on her traditions and using her skillset to help people elsewhere. but then there’s also the lingering, nagging memory of being alone in a maximum security prison, and that trauma isn’t something one just gets over…

i see toph, more than anyone, spending the most time with zuko in the fire nation. she understands what it’s like to be alone, and she’d rather be with her family than her biological parents. i think she does visit them, but it doesn’t go well. toph may be incredibly sharp and mature for her age, but she is still just a kid, and the fact that her father will continue to reject her his entire life is a great wound, as much as she could flippantly deny it. but zuko understands what that’s like more than anyone, so being able to help him helps her through her own pain. even if zuko is a dick about it (although i think she stubbornly forces him to acknowledge her pain at some point instead of just outright dismissing her like he did on ember island), it’s a symbiotic relationship in its own way. i mean, he could definitely use a human lie detector.

sokka is like all over the place. i don’t know man he’s too complicated to sum up in one little paragraph. but yeah let’s just say the war ending doesn’t automatically Heal him and Solve his copious Issues. because it does solve some things but it also causes other problems. new problems even. but i already sort of talk about that here so let’s just move that for now.

and then of course zuko being crowned boy king of racist nation is like… not great. it works for thematic/symbolic/narrative reasons, of course, but realistically. it's a struggle! so, like i said, i think toph would stick by his side, and i think aang spends a lot of time in fire nation as well, and sokka as much as possible (NOT because he loves zuko, but because he thinks zuko is very stupid and he’s the world’s biggest control freak so if he doesn’t micromanage everything he’ll feel like it’s his fault if anything goes wrong). but iroh is…. not there. his best friend katara (i said what i said) is in the south pole or traveling the world or anywhere but Here. azula is. broken?? the world?? is broken?? and he (famously a fuck-up) is supposed to fix it???? poor kid.

anyway. this is all preamble to contextualize what can only be described as The Worst Puberty Anyone’s Ever Had. okay here’s a bonus fun headcanon: aang is born in october! i say this because he’s the most libra to ever do it (i don’t know shit about astrology but i do know that). so for the entire run of the show (from winter to summer) he is twelve years old. i don’t know if you’ve been around any twelve year old boys recently (not to brag, but i have), but they are Going Through It. and that’s the average twelve year old, not even including the shocking temporal displacement and being the sole survivor of a genocide and shouldering the burden of the whole fucking world and knowing that an entire country full of people want you dead.

the fact that aang maintains his childlike wonder and sweetness for the most part means that it’s going to hit him like a truck once the war ends and he finally has a chance to focus on himself. we see the early stages of puberty affecting him in terms of how he behaves around katara, the change between his book one kiddie crush and his book three confusion and intensity. but it’s more than just burgeoning sexuality. he wakes up, is informed that he’s been stuck in an iceberg for a century, that everyone he ever knew with the exception of appa and bumi are dead due to a genocide, and that it’s his responsibility to end the war. and the rest of the show is him trying to step into that duty and finally becoming the kind of person the world needs him to be. and now… it’s over.

on one hand, there’s that overwhelming sense of relief. he did it. he successfully prevented yet another genocide, stopped the war, and did it all without compromising his values. his new friends (his new family) are all alive and safe and now can rebuild the world together. they can rest and have fun and be kids. and that’s what aang is celebrating in the finale when he looks at all of them and smiles, when he hugs katara in acknowledgement of how far they’ve come. aang is incredibly strong and resilient, and it’s a strength that comes from a place of genuine love and understanding. he was taught good values as a kid, values that have guided him through the most unimaginable of tragedies. but he’s not perfect. no one is.

no one can prevent the oncoming swirl of hormones and trauma and second-guessing that is about to hit aang once it finally occurs to him that the purpose he has been fighting for ever since his entire life changed is now over, basically, and he has to figure out what it means to be alive outside of one sole, defining goal. as anne carson said in red doc>, “to live past the end of your myth is a perilous thing.” as jp sartre said in la nausée, “i outlive myself” (specifically, anny says it to roquentin). what is aang doing if not ouliving himself? had he lived a normal lifespan that hadn’t been disrupted by a spiritually imposed stasis, he probably would’ve been dead by now (long dead, if we can assume that his death in lok is by natural causes). and his myth, his grand destiny of stopping the war and once more carving out a space for his people in this brave new world? well, he did it. accomplished it with flying colors. now it’s over. now he is a perilous thing.

as i alluded to before, i think the only person who can really truly empathize with aang’s situation is sokka. sokka, too, has survived beyond any point he imagined. he has built his entire identity around being a shield, and now that the war is over, his ability to protect others from immediate threats and sacrifice himself for a cause has been ripped away from him. he now has to forge an identity beyond reducing himself to a soldier, in a fundamentally unfamiliar world. sokka was shaped by war, and yet he lived past it, past the end of his myth. aang’s world is now also unfamiliar, not solely because the war is over, but because the war is over and yet he is still alone. he did it, he saved the day, and yet what is his reward? he saved a lot of people, but none of his people. he can never go home again.

aang and sokka’s role as foils is something i want to write about more because i do find it truly fascinating, but in these terms i think we can also read their psychological states postwar as a sort of reciprocal dynamic. i’ve spoken in the past about how in a postwar reconstruction landscape, sokka would do a lot of the administrative work that aang cannot. not only because aang is literally twelve, but because aang cannot focus all his attention on this world when he is also its only real tether to the past. so sokka would make room for aang to focus on being the last airbender by sort of taking on the mantle of pseudo-avatar. solely in the most bureaucratic sense of the title, of course, but that would be the role that sustains and (somewhat) fulfills him after the war. and i think aang would be grateful for that, but he’d also be somewhat resentful?? not of sokka (aang is too emotionally mature for that, plus he respects sokka too much), but he’d definitely resent himself. think about how guilty and shameful he feels whenever he feels like he’s let the world down due to factors beyond his control. and so the fact that sokka is doing so much of what aang himself should be doing because he’s too busy being defined by his status as a genocide survivor… well, it might make him angry. he might lash out. and we’ve seen him frustrated, volatile, and emotionally confused. it’s not pretty.

i know that we all only want the best for aang and want him to be happy and thriving after the war because he’s such a perfect kid who deserves the world, but realistically, i do think there would be a period where he’s kind of hard to be around. not only because that’s just something that happens to all adorable baby boys once they turn thirteen (i, for one, learned this lesson extremely painfully), but because he’s dealing with a lot and the only person who even remotely understands what he’s going through is also the most emotionally repressed guy he knows.

throughout atla, he never allows himself a moment to just stop and feel, because the depth of his grief is actually scary and incredibly difficult to confront. but i think if he did ever allow himself to feel, he might never stop. he might, in fact, spend a month or so curled up in blankets in bed eating nothing but bean curd puffs and shutting out everyone but momo. i actually think that’s more realistic than him immediately entering a perfect relationship with katara and being highschool sweethearts and popping out three kids. and frankly, i think going through that kind of depression now that he no longer has any pressing responsibilities also happens to be something he’s earned. he’s been pushing down his grief, ignoring it, distracting himself from it, this whole time. it’s time he finally lets himself feel.

on a happier note, i like thinking about aang and suki getting closer after the war (or even being close offscreen during the show, like on ember island). i like to think that suki can act as a sort of cool big sister figure to aang, who has suffered just enough that she can empathize with his pain, but isn’t too close to the situation (like fellow genocide survivors katara and sokka, or genocide perperators’ direct descendants, like zuko) that she can still discuss it with him without bringing her own baggage into the fore. she’s very good at giving direct, no-bullshit advice in a nonetheless kind and compassionate way, and she’s also very good at joking around and knowing how to let loose and have fun in a way aang appreciates. she also really admires and highly values the role of the avatar in the world, and she also admires and cherishes aang as a person, so i think she could give him that kind of measured encouragement that aang really needs to hear.

obviously katara has done this for aang a lot in the past, and i’m not saying she wouldn’t also continue to be a shoulder for aang to lean on, because no matter how much he may try to push her away, she will always be there for him, but i think suki also sort of provides a necessary detachment where he isn’t bogged down by any romantic feelings for her and she isn’t bogged down by her own all too similar trauma the way katara is. suki has people to help her work through her own trauma (sokka, her sisters, etc.) so aang doesn’t need to reciprocate. she’s just happy to be there for her surrogate baby bro who needs her. she’ll serve the avatar in any way she can, whether by becoming a kyoshi warrior, by sacrificing herself to free his bison, or by just chilling with him in bed while he rants about his impossible situation and cries on her shoulder.

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sualne · 4 months

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Listen as someone who has been obsessed with vampires like my entire life (but not in a ooh there sexy way its like the symbolism man of what vampires can mean) i am a huge fan of your op vanpire au.

I know you just made a post with lore (amazing art btw) but is there anything else about the au you want to talk about. Id love to hear everything

there's a lot of things i want to talk about the au!! im going to use the frantic energy from the year to get myself some bravery and say some of it is inspired by my own experiences with hallucinations and delusion (dont ask about it pls), with the au i want to explore what it would be like having the person who changed you being very literally stuck with you.

i love stories where characters end up sharing a mind and/or body, i also really dont like when its just good person vs bad person, nuance is a lot more fun lol. the relationship luffy and mingo will be forced into stuck as they are is something important to me. mingo is an awful monster but since he can feel everything luffy does he ends up trying to teach him how to live as a vampire, how to take care of himself. im also very found of the concept of parasite (they're literally the worst thing ever and so fucking scary, so naturally they keep coming up in my stories).

it's also about luffy's body and mind failing him, because of the mindlink he has a hard time knowing where he is, sometimes who he is, what is relationships were supposed to be with others, it gets complicated for him! how hard it is to go through one's daily life when your sense are all messed up! (mingo also struggles with that a bit, but this isn't about him, even thought it's new for him too he get used to it much more easily for plot convenience).

other's ppl reaction to the situation also, i feel, completely unconsciously was also incidentally inspired by my own fear of being seen as a monster or dangerous, something to be put down or locked away!

there's also a few jokes in that lore post that reflects this here:

bugs are a pretty common brand of hallucination, be they crawling in the corner of your sight or inside you, making you feel like a walking hives, this was a funny reference to that!

"surprisingly he doesn't start biting people or become violent." this is my not very subtle "mentally ill and neurodivergent folks aren't inherently dangerous pls stop killing us". the occasional euphoria from bloodthist is vaguely inspired by some manic episode, the happy kind.

there's more, about the way this is about trauma and feeling alienated, i guess this is also a "character realize they've got a disorder/develop one and now has to live with it" kind of story.

#op vamp au #vampasks #described in alt text #lol took so long to write all that the new year started. happy new year everyone!!!#i hope the read more works this time........#ive written a lot and im all out of words for now. hoepfully its coherent!! im glad you like my work thank you sm all of you for #your kindness!!!#edit: the read more went two paragraphs down whats wrong with this website edit2: got lower again

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solarwonux · 4 months

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I think I have boy problems????

Well...would it still be considered boys problems if I am the one creating them in my head??

Anyway, buckle up for the ride if you want to know all about my boy problem/not problem.

Backstory...I've stayed away from dating for a long time for a lot of reasons. And to be honest I am very happy being single. It's fun, but until recently people have mentioned or asked if I had a boyfriend bc I just look extra happy and pretty. And I'm like nah it's just me, I am just happy. But it did get me thinking should I go back to dating??? It's something I've been toying with for like a months or so. And my friend constantly wants to set me up with someone. I don't know how I feel about apps, but for now it's a no for me. Now, that that is out of the way...here's the situation.

More backstory, a couple of weeks ago. A co worker of mine who has been dating was like "I'm going on a date with this guy I met from bumble." She had previously told me about him but then I asked to see a picture. And let me tell you the world is fucking small. The guy that she was going on a date with is friends with my friend. And I have previously only heard about him and I've seen pictures of him. So I told my Co worker this and then she told him when they went on the date that they had somebody in common. She did tell me about her date and she said that honestly he gave her more like friend vibes and that she isn't looking for anything serious but he is.

Flash forward a couple of days I meet up with my friend because we are going to Hong Kong together so we were finishing planning our trip. She tells me that she hung out with the guy during the weekend, and that he kept asking about my Co worker, but my friend doesn't know her, she's only met her once. And he tells her that they had planned to go on another date, but that something came up and they decided to move it to another day. As of right now, I'm positive they still haven't gone on that date.

Now flash forward again to Saturday night. My friend is celebrating her birthday and this is the first time that I officially meet this guy. The first thing he says to me is "hey you're _____ co worker." And I was like yeah. We start walking to the first destination of the night it's cool we are vibing. But whenever I meet someone for the first time I am always really reserved, until I feel comfortable. Then we go to dinner and one of our other friends there says "hey you guys are matching you should send a picture to (co worker name), it would be funny." Tbh I laugh it off and move on.

Then we get to the first bar, but on our way to the first bar I think he asks me how my co worker is and im just like "fine," idk if he wanted more deets on her but hes the one talking to her he should just as ask her straight up. But anyway at the first bar after a while he comes up to me and was like "Let's take a picture so I can send it to _____." And so we take the picture (tbh I'm offended that he didn't even send me the picture it's kinda cute.) Then we start to get more comfortable with each other.

We go to the club and this is when things start to get a little complicated. Mind you we didn't leave the club until like 4 am. But anyway, I don't drink anymore when I go out for a lot of reasons. But he asks me and I'm like "oh I think I have an allergy to alcohol " which honestly it's not a lie. My nose gets really runny when I drink and I get really red. Then everybody is dancing, we are all having a good time. He's a dancer but so am I so we start having like idiotic dance battles with our other friend. And the vibes are good.

Then at some point I do ask him to dance with me. It started out very innocently but then things get very heated and touchy. We last like this for a long time, maybe like 4 songs. Then I try to teach him how to salsa and bless his soul he's trying. But this lasts for like another couple of songs. But then I see my friend crying so I was like "bye my friend is crying," so I went to see what happened and I do have a vague idea of what happened, but I just sit down quietly next to her. And he comes to sit down next to me.

Flash forward an hour later we do the whole dancing thing again. We are touchy, I try to get him to salsa. But then it's time to leave. On our way to the restaurant we are walking alone together and just talking. He's asking me how long I've been living in korea and how long I've been studying korean. And maybe you could classify this as flirting but tbh I am clueless when a guy tries to flirt with me.

Moving on we eat dinner/breakfast bc at this point it's like 5am. But it's finally time to go home. All our other friends call cabs. But me, my friend him decide to just take the bus or train home since the first train was going to open in like 30 mins. We are walking and I said "I almost fell in spanish." And then he says something that can insinuate do you want to kiss me in spanish. But not like that it's pretty complicated but earlier in the night while we were eating dinner my friend and I said "saliva" in spanish, which there are a multitude of ways. So basically he brought that up again.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. I said "lol stop saying that." And then my friend was like "omg you're insinuating that you want to kiss Laura." And I don't know if he was trying to deflect it at first but she kept like joking with him about it and I can't remember if my friend was the one who brought up my Co worker or if he did. But I did say "she wouldn't care if you did." Because in all honesty it just seems like she wouldn't especially if she has hinted that he's not really interested him.

Now my problem is...I think I now have a stupid crush on him. I have the means to contact him in a bunch of different ways. But first idk if I should because even though I am interested in him. I just don't think he would he interested in me, just given my track record nobody ever is. And if he was I think he would've at least tried to say something by now. Also it could be very possible that I'm the only one that remembers what happened bc I was the only one who was sober. So he might not know what happened, which makes me feel terrible. But there's also like my Co worker, like I don't want to be that person who steals somebody from someone.

So it's just a frustrating situation because I can see myself getting to know him. And he's also the first guy i feel comfortable with. Like i let him touch me and it didnt feel bad but good. And i dont know if you guys know me or remember but if you're new here just know that last year in april something very bad happened to me involving a guy. And since then I've been repulsed by men. But he's the first one that I haven't felt that way with.

And like idk what to do but I already cried about this so many times. Like should I make a move or just send him a message or forget about it because I'm delusional and like he is not interested in me.

Ugh I'm sorry for ranting. It's just my real friends from back home were not helpful at all. And it's to long to explain to my friends here over text so I rather tell them in person when I see them. But for now I just needed to get it off my chest.

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hungwy · 2 years

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ON THE AI ART THING

i see three main points people are making, which i think are fair: first the supposition that the products of people's labor are being used somewhere in the process of art generation in an unfairly profitable way; second the supposition that the products of the artists' labor are being stolen before they can sell it; third that the other two result in a chain-reaction down the line where nobody's an artist any more because neural networks are adjective-er than humans.

for what its worth the way AIs combine images is just not the way you think AIs combine images. machine learning is complicated. neural networks are complicated. read up on GANs; watch a few Two Minute Papers videos (like this one, which is particularly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCf8OA4GPvI). the way they combine im its not forgery (AI are not perfectly replicating your piece and selling it as it is for their own value; at some point it might involve copying/"looking" at it), its not stealing (you still have your art with you), its not even Youtube Poop remixing. generally the hypest way to do neural networks right now is to take a collection of items the AI knows to contain similar concepts and creates an understanding of that shared concept; a good dataset will be big enough to understand all the full variations of that concept, or accurately deduce the rest of the variations, all through the natural inconsistenties that a bunch of pictures of the same thing might produce. an AI knows how to do an oil painting style because it probably knows quite well the actual qualities of an oil painting. it also knows what the sun looks like, how cloth drapes at different weights, how holes in the ceiling of a building might imply shafts of light illuminating on the floor, and other incredible stuff. beats me how it does that, and you likely won't get it either. but the point is the way people are talking about AI on here seems solely informed by imagination.

for unfair and stealing bit, there's something to be said about how certain online communities, websites, people, blogs. etc are naturally private due to obscurity while also being technically completely public; like caves hidden in valleys that take quite a bit of looking to get to and see. in the past we just assumed they would stay hidden: the art on this blog will only be seen by its followers, or people i link the blog to, surely; ill teach you the way to my little cave. unfortunately the internet has been filled with extremely informed and skilled valley-treading and cave-finding robots, and unless you have big ol' signs that say "DO NOT FIND THIS CAVE!" (i remember for forums you could stop scrapers from coming to your website, i think on tumblr there is something like a "do not show in search results" button too), or somehow otherwise avoid their path using strange internet tricks or complete luck, they will totally find your little cave and rummage through it. what i mean to say is this: your art is already part of the publicly available data, and you're in a tough spot to do anything about it. i have no solutions.

the objectionable part is not in this collection of references for analysis, nor in how the AI is usually interpreting what objects are what, but the misuse of the AI to produce things you don't like (which is part of the point i wanted to make in my first post, besides arguing for the artistic integrity of what the AI is doing with its sources). and i see how it seems unfair -- someone smarter and more knowledgeable about art, labor, intellectual property, and value could articulate this more -- that a customer of a neural network could so freely replicate someone else's work with the original stylist having nothing to show for it. it wouldn't be any better if a sufficiently skilled person was requested to draw original pieces in your style. so in that way this is less about AI and more an objection against the violation of someone's intellectual property, if that exists.

for the second point on losing artists, i understand the reasoning as following: nobody wants to be a starving artist, and to avoid that in capitalism one needs money, and if someone is dead set on being an artist (or for some reason can be nothing else) they must sell their art to make money. if no one is going to give them money for art, they will certainly be a starving artist, which we don't want. the conclusion here is, if we want artists (starving, at the very least), we should restrict anything else that makes art which might compete with the artist's. okay, that might work: we could stop having AI make art. but what if, despite our best efforts, we can't fully restrict such a thing? what if AIs are here to stay? more importantly, what if artists are actually already partnering with AI to make art, and you've just been none the wiser? What if you yourself could adapt to new technology and use it to better your own art? The improvement of this tech is, as far as anyone can tell, inevitable. Like any tool, it will be applied in obvious and creative ways. It will displace some people, it will be used by others, and further it will be ignored by the rest.

naturally we would think at least some artists could no longer be paid for what they currently do. if companies can afford a concept artist they likely could better afford a subscription to DALL-E. If their work is no better than AI and they cost more it seems clear they're out. but im simply not jumping to the conclusion that companies specifically will be replacing ALL artists with AI, since most trained artists are in fact better than AI, and come with the human factor. some companies will certainly try the switch to AI for the novelty of it, two or three might succeed, most will probably find out negotiating with an artist or two for long term projects is much easier than talking to the team of computer science geeks to see if the damn art-generating program will churn out something slightly more [quality], more palatable to today's changing tastes -- all that, IF "AI generated images" is even the zeitgeist in whatever hypothetical time period in the future this is happening. maybe by the time the tech is developed people will think handmade stuff is popular and companies will follow suit, with all their logos or whatever being painted on glass panes.

i mean, who are we even talking about, considering artists? the fandom artists definitely aren't disappearing because of neural networks. all those millionaire furry artists simply won't lose business because people are going to Midjourney and entering in "shirtless anthropomorphic tiger, [famous furry artist]-style". people who want oil paintings want some physical oil paintings and usually not a digitally-generated oil painting printed on canvas. people want a human intermediary for basically everything, and if you've ever worked retail with an older customer base you'd know that's true. id certainly prefer human-made art to neural networks if i was gonna spend money (and i apologize to our future robot overlords for such a statement).

so who is really completely losing out here? many artists are, quite frankly, not big enough to get fried. concept artists for triple-AAA shooters might take a hit, i imagine; its decently easy to generate generic cities and alien landscapes with AI. but frankly, artificial intelligence is a tool, and not a scooch-along robot replacing your cubicle in the office. you still need people who know about art, and artists willing to put in the work, for it to produce anything of commercial value. even if it gets so good that the CEO of a business can log on to ARTIFICIAL-INTELLIGENCE-WEBSITE.com and type into the text box "I wuld like to buy a compny logo for $50 please", im sure there will always be more status in having that "human touch" to your designs, and less status in those robo-packs of ugly slightly mismatched placeholders. besides, artists are already using AI to help create their products in the first place; i refer to that Two Minute Papers video again (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCf8OA4GPvI).

Edit: Considering Two Minute Papers, we do see that VFX artists and simulation scientists are trying to find ways to realistically simulate liquid, gases, fire, etc. with AI. This likely will have consequences for whatever hand-simulated stuff VFX artists have been doing.

your art is publicly available and you really don't have much control over what happens to it. unless little intranets for families and towns and cities and such become more popular, unless you start password protecting websites like forums used to do, your shits getting collected. its not a good reality and im definitely an advocate for internet privacy. for many artists the internet is unfortunately the only place they know how to get their stuff out there. its not a good situation for artists to begin with. the thing is, what's happening with modern AI art generation isn't... really that bad. unless some specific human wants to make it bad. if from this moment on we decide to push for legal-social-whatever punishments for not compensating the artists whom AI was trained on, okay, i guess. companies developing these AI probably have too much startup money anyway and most artists make far too little for the years of wrist pain. but i would say the customers requesting your art style or whatever are certainly at more moral fault, because it almost certainly wouldn't just pop out a given art style unless your prompt guided it to.

i will stand by the fact that the art of modern neural networks is more complicated, less hurtful, and way cooler than ripped off collage nonsense, and it will be exciting and scary to see where we go from an AI winning an art tournament -- for the moment you can be scared if you want, i guess, but if you didn't already lose your job to a guy utilizing a neural network then you're probably already safe. (and you might as well get on the train before you're left behind.)

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alpaca-clouds · 8 months

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Castlevania Language Headcanons

I spoke about language in Castlevania before. Like most media the series mostly just shrugs off the entire language barrier. People are just magically able to communicate. No matter from how far apart they actually are.

But personally I find it interesting to think about what languages the characters realistically would have spoken or been able to speak.

Trevor would probably mostly just know Romanescu (old Common Romanian). A language I might note that is a bit different than modern day Romanian, as it had a lot more slavic bits in there, than the modern language does. He might also have known bits and pieces of old Hungarian and Common Turkish, given the political situation at the time. Though I kinda doubt he would've been fluent. I do assume that his family once upon a time would have taught him Latin and Ancient Greek, but I doubt he would remember a lot of that.

Alucard meanwhile would probably know at least the ancient languages. I see Dracula as very intrested in teach him. So, I got to assume that Alucard will know Romanescu, Latin, Ancient Greek, but probably French, Hungarian, Turkish and maybe some Arabic as well.

Sypha seems to canonically just know all the languages. Given the effort was made to cast her with an Hispanic actress and having her speak with a Spanish accent, I assume Spanish is her mother tongue, but she clearly also speaks Romanescu and seems to at least be able to read a write a plethora of ancient languages. Given the fact she has travelled a lot, I will also just assume that she knows a lot of current languages at the time. Probably enough to understand most languages spoken in Europe.

It do assume the trio will use Romanescu to communicate with each other.

Assuming that Dracula is in this timeline still Mathias from France, he will speak Old French, though the question remains whether he understands the Middle French spoken at the ime the series takes place. I do assume though. Given his entire think with knowledge and his almost obsessive collection of it, I just am going to assume he has learned a lot of languages throughout his life, probably being able to at least understand most languages spoken throughout Europe and Asia.

Lisa probably only knows Romanescu, when she arrives at the castle. Maybe some Latin, if she had tried to learn some medicine before. I am going to assume, though, that Vlad is gonna do some work polishing her Latin and Greek at least.

Still assuming, though, that they are going to hold most conversations in Romanescu.

Hector and Isaac are a bit more complicated, of course. Because we know little about them.

It stands to reason, that Hector's mother tongue is Greek (given he grew up on Rhodes) and Isaac's is Arabic. Given he has probably consumed quite a lot of ancient texts and texts about alchemy, I think Hector will at least be able to read and write in old Greek and Latin. I also am going to assume that under Dracula he learned some Romanescu? He might also know some Turkish, given that during his childhood Rhodes was under Turkish control.

Isaac is a bit more complicated, because canonically we do not really know where he got enslaved and what not. In my headcanon I went with him being dragged all the way up to Italy, so he speaks Italian. Given he was a slave in a monastery and tried to help, I assume he knows Latin as well (and quite frankly, learning Latin, when you know medieval Italian is not that hard). I have him end up in Greece, due to the ongoing conflict with the Ottoman Empire, after he escapes. Hence, he speaks Greek as well.

Meaning that in all my Isaactor stuff, the two communicate a lot in Greek.

Given they end up in Austria, though, they do learn German soon enough. Speaking of which...

The sisters are interesting in regards to their lannguages.

Now, Carmilla very probably is from Austria and always has been from there, so she would speak Old High German as her mother tongue. Given she was a vampire for a while, she probably learned a few languages, though. I gotta assume she knows Latin at least, especially given that at the time Latin was kinda the official language of politics in many regards. I am gonna assume she knows at least some Italian, Old French and Hungarian, too.

As I explained before: I assume that Lenore originates in Scotland. But given she was taken from her family as a child, she knows very little in terms of Scottish Gaelic and for the most part her mother tongue is old English. Given she was nobility, she has learned Latin, too. She also is the diplomat of the group, so I gotta assume she knows quite a few other languages as well, just to keep up her position. Very certainly Romanescu, too, given it is Vlad's main spoken language and he seems to be the big boss of vampires.

Morana, of course... Honestly, I am just gonna assume she knows all the languages. The woman is more than a millennium old. Depending on whom you ask even older than two millennia. She had the time to travel. She knows all the ancient languages for certain and if she knows Akkadian, Persian and Phoenician the other languages springing from that will be easy. I have her travelling Asia, too, so she kows at least Hindi, Chinese and Japanese as well.

Striga is a bit more interesting. She speaks with a Slavic Accent and her voice actress is from Croatia. Which made me put Striga there, too. She has to have travelled a bit. And of course she will probably speak Old High German with the sisters. I kinda want her to have learned old Akkadian to speak that language with Morana. Because that would be sweet.

I am going to assume that in everyday life the sisters speak Old High German with each other.

I am also going to assume that Lenore, to woe Hector, is gonna speak Greek with him.

#castlevania #castlevania netflix #castlevania headcanons #headcanons #language #history #linguistics

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hiraya-rawr · 2 years

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IM SO SORRY I JUST HAD THIS WORD VOMIT AND AAAAAA please don’t judge me (we love to see y/n winning in life with diluc and not cheater ayato mhhmhmhm thats right baby)

(Also English isn’t my first language so I’m so sorry if I misspelled something :;(∩´﹏`∩);:)

★彡

It’s one of those days where you have to put a front for the people that are silently but surely judging you and waiting for any chance of a mistake for your part, but you’ve oh so accustomed to it that it’s like second nature.

Or well, you thought it was.

He wasn’t someone who you had the pleasure to talk to, not even in these kind of events where all the most famous and powerful people met, but you have surely seen him; after all, it was hard to miss his vibrant red hair, completely a contrast of your husband’s. Speaking of which, he was busy talking with some lords and retainers that he didn’t have the time (nor the want) to take you with him and pose as the perfect couple, and so, you figured it wouldn’t be bad if you were to start a conversation with someone, right?

“Hello” you said as you approached the suddenly lone figure of the wine tycoon, who turned to face you and did a little bow as a form of respect “I believe we haven’t had the opportunity to introduce to each other, right? My name is-“

“I know who you are” his voice, deep but somewhat calm and steady, interrupted your little presentation. His face seemed surprised for a moment as he catched himself cutting you off, and so he bashfully closed his eyes for a moment. It seems he was a little excited to talk to someone who wouldn’t bother him to get some news or even his own advice on how to succeed in his field of work “My apologies, I shouldn’t have spoken so abruptly”.

At that you laugh softly, clearly noting that as much as he seemed so elegant and level headed, he still would have preferred to be somewhere else than here.

“Please don’t, it was just a little mistake, and I don’t mind it; but if you insist, how about we introduce to each other again?” You now smiled as you looked into his eyes, waiting for an answer, clearly unbothered by the looks some people were giving to you two.

“Of course” he said as he composed himself once again: proper pose, a bow and a kiss to your hand, just like his father teached him in the past “My name is Diluc Ragnvindr, a pleasure to meet you”. You wouldn’t deny that the action brought some heat to your face and a skip to your beat, but you had to appear as if it didn’t affect you.

“And I’m Kamisato (Y/N), the pleasure is mutual” and so you both smiled, almost forgetting that this was a public event, and that this kind of pleasantries weren’t banned but they also weren’t so smiled upon.

In the sea of eyes watching you two, a pair of lilac ones were staring, the person feeling suddenly a pang to their chest and a weird sentiment growing inside; is this what jealousy was? To see your supposed beloved in the hands of another? Or was this sentiment just causing pain because truth was the one inflicting it? The fact that someone seemed to click so much better with your partner than you with them…

Ah, Ayato wouldn’t know. At least, not yet.

// based on this drabble

please 🥹 this kind of complicated romance always ends up rly angsty my heart cant ishdjehdjhe thank you for sending it in, nicely put and i love the subtle chemistry aaaaaah

#hira prompt #genshin #diluc #ayato #diluc x reader #ayato x reader

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ratguy-nico · 3 months

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Character Asks: Louise!

SAILOR! thanks girl, you never let me down T^T so Louise:

First impression: no one kill me... I used to hate Louise XD you see how many people hate Gene's character for no good reason except they find them annoying?...well that's what happened to me with Louise, the irony

Impression now: I should say I love Louise, she has some of the most amazing episodes of all the show and her bunny ears are an amazing element of character design that should be study but... is complicated? I watch Louise and see so many things, some rough, complicated aspects that I truly love, I love how the serie portray her, I think is the fetish character of the serie, which for me is not 100% something good.

Favorite moment: damn The Plight Before Christmas for sure, her whole speech, but I think this is like a good writing scene and it's not so much cause it's Louise, so I would say when she's trying to teach Tina how to kiss. las cachetadas XD oh oh and her phone call with Mickey, oh that one is priceless XD

Idea for a story: Non, okey fine, like I said before, no for an episode or inside the serie's canon. But in the comic that I would never mention again after this I explore a lot of Louise being non binary tirando a transmasc but being lesbian, complicated? complicadisimo. So thats all I will say.

Unpopular opinion:... all the shit I just said? I love Louise's episodes, she's being the protagonist of many of the best episodes on the show "The Plight Before Christmas" and "Amelia" without counting the movie. But... it may be...too much? DONT KILL ME I would love if they take the same dedication, the same deep approach, to Tina or Gene, or any other character actually, like they did with Rudy's episode where she is relevant but in a supporting role. Im gonna shut up now.

Favorite relationship: NOT ROMANTICALLY Louise and Rudy, damn I live for that friendship, those two are the most precious thing in the world they would kill for each other, die for each other but most important live for each other, saw my previous complains? throw them away when is the Louise and Rudy duo Im talking "Bridge Over Troubled Rudy" "House of 1000 Bounces" and "The Amazing Rudy", of course. Bob and Louise father/child dynamic is pure gold and in ship department (and this could also count as unpopular) Louise/Jessica Wharfy ship. Uh and just think about it but I love Louise dynamic with Nat and Mickey, I think they are totally Louise's heroes.

Favorite headcanon: ...non? Louise being lesbian but also a lil bit of a boy is very... in me. Oh i have a very silly one, remeber the episode when Louise adopted a spider and call her Phoebe? for me Louise give her that name for Phoebe from the show Friends, who is a very important icon in the bisexual and lesbian community, so yeah. Louise loving her lesbians icons.

#bob's burgers #louise #okey i never noticed how afraid i was to talk about Louise #what was that?#i just think that the fandom really love Louise's character #and I love her too #but like a in a lil different way #this never happened when i talk about gene #maybe im just being overdramatic #i will know when everyone stop talking to me #:)#still fun #but concerning #love louis never think otherwise 😔

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quesadillayuri · 1 month

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This is an open invitation to "talk about the Bible in a chill way". I'd be fascinated in your chill Bible opinions.

okay this is lowkey such a late answer to this but recent chill bible opinion has some context to it. i'm religious but in like a weird way i don't super want to get into, but basically i read the bible for the story aspects: the morals taught, the themes within, etc etc. i don't really view it as a strict religious instruction handbook, more so as like . stories meant to teach lessons and morals. kinda. its complicated!

erm. im so glad u asked tho

anyway! more importantly, i'm reading the old testament right now, and something that deeply bothers me is that i find the stories in early genesis deeply fascinating, and yet incredibly not dived into at all! and i think that's a shame, because there's so much interest and tragedy in the story of adam and eve, and in cain and abel, together and alongside adam and eve. i just think there could've been so much more done with the first ever family on earth, that is really never dived into popularly or well in adaptations. which is like chill EXCEPT for the fact that i think there's a lot of . persephone and hades tumblr bullshit going on and let me ELABORATE!

eve is a fascinating character to study as the first woman, and there's a lot to be said about eve, which is why a lot of modern looks at her that depict her as a #slay girlboss that ate the apple on purpose or as like . cheating on adam with lucifer . and i also don't fuck with the very long history of her being treated as though she's stupid or wicked or a transgressor. basically, what i'm trying to get at is that eve wasn't stupid for eating the apple, she was lied to, and in her defense, no one had ever lied before. quite literally she was the first to ever be lied to, ever, and she cannot be solely at fault for being tricked. i think it's hard to argue that eve shouldn't have fallen for it, because she was in such an incredibly unique, quite literally never happening before situation. i just think that depictions of her as a scheming seductress will never be as feminist as people think they are, because the core of eve was not someone looking to like . stick it to the man . she was curious, and trusting, and i refuse to blame her for searching for something new, because if god did not want man or woman to long for knowledge, he never should have create sapient beings 🤷

that was a long, kinda rambly way to say that i think genesis, despite being a really interesting book especially pertaining to eve, adam, and the fall, and especially relating to what could be said about abel and cain, and abel, cain, and THEIR PARENTS!!!, fails in a lot of ways as a book. mostly because of the lack of expansion on any of the interesting parts of the early story. i dont gaf abt how adam lived for 930 years. i gaf about adam and the horror of raising children and loving them and that still not being enough to save them from each other or themselves. it must have been horrifying to see your children, both your first children and the first children ever born, suffer and die, one at the hand of another and one at the hand of your own father. like idk eve adam and the horrifying fact that their sin (mistakes) passed along to their child and could've played a role in his own sin (devastating mistakes) and what you do as a parent when you realize that loving someone isn't enough to raise them perfectly and keep them safe.

but yeah sure . adams a weirdo misogynist and eve is a girlboss that cucks him with lucifer and abel and cain don't matter or exist. okay. epic.

and like this isn't to shit on fun or serious retellings based in feminism, bc i #love feminism fr, but i think it tired me out in the same way that (look at me circling back) things like the feminist retellings of hades and persephone did. bc like, it's interesting sometimes, but other times you are IGNORING the reality and interesting parts of the real story in favor for whatever fantasy you've created. hades and persephone is a fascinating story, and demeter and persephone's relationship is a tragic, lovely story that should not be boiled down into omg age gap forbidden romance with EVIL strict mom in the same way that eve and adam shouldnt be simplified to adam is mean to eve and she eats apple as REVENGE >:) . like ok guys lets get creative!

anyway to make a long story short im not an expert on the bible im just a girl raised spiritualist who fucks with books hardcore and wouldve liked to see more interesting shit in the oldest fucking book i own . or whatever .

#if ur a theologist dont @ me #its 12 am EXACTLY and im just a teenage girl #im yapping okay #.hellwurld #.asks #uh #ask to tag???#idk if catholicism or the bible is a trigger lmk

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jazzyblusnowflake · 2 years

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Why not move? I’d never stay in a country that treats its women this way. And you working for the government indirectly supports that. Good luck.

Okay so

i've been mulling over this ever since it came to my inbox and i've been trying to find a way to answer this and NOT be impolite or improper because i am aware that not everyone knows the complications of straight up moving to a different country, as it is not as simple as just moving to a different STATE, like the US, [and to be fair i've heard that even THAT could be stressful] and as someone who has LIVED in 3 countries and has visited another 5+ countries, let me tell you that your question is extremely ignorant and insensitive and straight up hurtful to all the people who both DONT want to leave their communities here and also the people who DO want to leave but are too poor to do so.... because our country, due to the prohibition by good ol' murica has now the lowest money currency value on the PLANET, and we have been suffering in silence for DECADES- with NO way to transfer money into our country- [donation campaigns are usually a scam, pay attention to those please] so in short? we are poor as absolute FUCK-!

and the process of moving somewhere else is already hard enough for people who DONT have as much financial issues, let alone US.

what exactly would anyone propose we do? when we dont have the money to request for any sort of visa, nor to get a house in a different country, nor food, nor for studying, living, getting medical or MENTAL health help- etc etc etc???

and reports of smuggling people out of the country usually come back as human trafficking or the gov blew them up or killed them somehow? idk this has actually happened with a PLANE once-

the only way to leave this country is being filthy rich, fucking LUCKY, or just a very very VERY smart student which again more often than not requires both money AND luck to get accepted in any university... so again.... no money!!!

like im sorry for snapping but here i am being told "why don't you leave" as if i haven't tried to find a way all my life, as if its some sort of sick joke- i cant, i fucking CANT!- i have family members i care about and wouldn't want to leave- other countries treat us like garbage thanks to online media portraying us as monsters- i cant spend another 10 years to study shit all over again just to send a letter to foreign universities with barely enough luck because im NOT that smart at all!! and it reminds me of when i look at my dad and say i wish we lived somewhere else and he looks at me like "then leave" in the cruelest way imaginable because he KNOWS we cant fucking leave due to him being a diplomat-

every country has its own culture and history and communities that they value and want to protect and stand by, so people cant just LEAVE, and even if they do, more often than not, other places would never accept them or appreciate them the same way their own country would. Like did yall tell black people to leave america after the BLM movement when George Floyd got killed? this is our home and we need to stop saying "then leave" and start saying "we need to start fixing this shit"

we are so fucking tired. please stop saying "then leave" if you just "don't want to help"...

as for me working for the gov, my dad is already a diplomat and keeps me away from doing anything against the regime, and also i'm considered one of the LUCKY ones in my country, who has a job that ensures a constant pay since the first semester of UNIVERSITY. im one of the few that could actually have a meal at night without worrying about what i'm going to eat tomorrow, and at the same time i teach kids from the inside to not take shit from the gov. i consider myself VERY lucky.

we aren't playing a videogame to take shallow black and white SIDES- even the protesters have destroyed privet properties and peoples cars and etc etc, and some people straight up want the monarchy system back as if that very system wasn't the entire reason that half of our countries riches and history isn't in the BRITISH museum today instead of their homeland!! this shit started over the freedom to WEAR what we want not to HURT everyone in blind rage!!!

Please never say "just leave" to anyone else ever again, especially to someone who doesn't even know if they'll live another day stepping out of the door, let alone drive all the way to an airport or the country boarders or something.... if they even HAVE the money to go that far.

So thankyou for reading and being concerned in your own way but id rather stay here and die in a country that doesn't accept me as a WOMAN than to live a futureless life in a country that wouldn't even accept me as a PERSON.

#mahsa amini #mahsaamini #opiran #free iran #iran #islamic republic of iran #snow rambles

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jemmo · 6 months

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For the ask game: 14?

thank you sm for the ask ☺

14. bl you think is underrated

ooh this is a tricky one, bc i can definitely tell you what i think is overrated (but thats not the question...), plus im always gonna think my favourites are underrated bc everyone should love them but i digress. i wanna highlight 3 shows/things bc the first one is a short series and then a movie and thats his. idk if it's bc its a few years old now but when i watched this show and then the film i just adored it. first of all, the show is the perfect kind of chill watch where not really much happens and yet a lot happens?? thats how me and my sister affectionately describe our favourite kind of shows bc they deal in the normal and everyday and manage to make it seem huge and beautiful and this series does that with one of my favourite tropes that i love to see crop up in j-bls which is an escape to the beach (and later the countryside), plus the show has the most awesome and well done early 2000s aesthetic that just fills me with nostalgia. but the film is a whole other thing. it pulls an old fashioned cupcake/cherry magic and gives us adults but unlike them shows us a story that is very grounded and real and serious, like they really said lets take this bl and actually make it a story about parenting and what a family can be and show just how complicated it all is and sometimes there is no winning and thats life. god its just beautiful, and theres still a deep and meaningful love story at the heart of it. just go watch it now if you haven't, or rewatch it if you haven't for a while.

second im picking eien no kinou and im prefacing this by saying i get why less people talk about this bc its not fun and some people dont wanna watch a story they know will be sad, but its also so important that it exists and i think it touches on some really tough topics and manages to tell them beautifully. and bc i havent seen much of what ppl say about this, idk what any consensus takes are but i felt very emotional watching this through the lens of erasure of queer relationships when it comes to loss, how sometimes when people aren't out or cant share their relationship, they become lost, or invisible, when someone is lost. and i mean... the queer experience is all-encompassing and such grief is something that should also be talked about when queerness can affect that process in a specific way, and while i dont think its easy to watch or revisit, its nevertheless important and beautiful

ive talked about some more heavy shows so i'm ending with if its with you, which is recent but even i pushed it to the side a little bc i liked i cannot reach you so much, but this show is kinda like the opposite to the ones above. i feel like people like a middle ground in their shows between drama and comfort, so while people dont talk as much about serious or sad shows, they also dont talk about the shows that are just nice. and this show is just that, bc its all about teaching someone thats had a bad experience that there is simple kindness in the world and its so heart-warming. i'll never forget the way ryuuji responded in that last ep when amane got nervous around the other kids, how he thought it would be this big think that he'd be mad about bc that's what happens in every show, but ryuuji was just like yeah its ok i understand and im not mad. just the pure kindness this show has to people feeling the way they feel is so refreshing and beautiful and it captures the high school simplicity of it all in a way that makes you step back as someone older and think huh yeah it really is just that easy, its just about happiness.

anyway, between this and the last response, i think by j-bl bias is jumping out a bit too much but thats the end of my rant, thank you for coming to my ted talk

❤️🧡💛bl ask game💚💙💜

#thank you so so much for the ask i havent had a good ramble in a while so it was good to get it out of my system #ask game

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milimeters-morales · 2 months

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So Peter’s approach to Miles’s destruction is to give tips on how to destroy them without accidentally getting unwanted people involved in the process, like how to actually hunt in the way Peter sometimes hunts and not lose himself entirely. He sees how overly excited and frantic Miles gets when he’s tearing into a Prototype, so he teaches him how to be in control with different strategies like isolating the robot or tricking it in some way, how the environment he’s in can affect his chances of actually destroying it, when to realize it’s not worth it (one of the most difficult lessons) and just give up on that hunt, stuff like that. Peter is genuinely helping using his own experience hunting down humans and and small animals, and it makes Miles sick but the advice does help so he appreciates it in a strange way, and is starting to sort of become desensitized to Peter’s actions towards others in a way and further attached to him. ruh roh raggy

(Aaron and Matt under the cut)

Aaron actually doesn’t disagree with Miles destroying Prototypes, he’s just worried that the robots will be made more advanced by Alchemax based off of the ways Miles defeats them, which will only make them harder for Miles to fight and increase the risk entirely, so instead he tries to steer Miles towards his old hobbies! Miles used to draw a TON, and for several reasons he stopped, and it always calmed him down and was a way to communicate, make friends, be more involved in his community, and just have fun. He also loved helping animals whenever he could, but he also stopped for several reasons, so Aaron tries to get him to do both of these things again, which he hopes will get Miles interested in new hobbies and topics as well. It’s hard since he isn’t always around to see if Miles is actually sticking with the hobbies and enjoying them, but he trusts Miles to be honest about that. They have a good relationship, but it’s just a bit complicated since Miles has gotten so used to Aaron not being around as often despite being his guardian that it’s hard to just act like Aaron has always and will always be there even if he accepts it. He’s sort of got this “why do all this work if my uncle’s not even gonna be around to see it, what does any of this matter when i have a working system already??” mentality that he’s not telling anyone about :/ Aaron has had a few thoughts when it gets very tough, about just letting Miles join him in doing Prowler work so they spend time together, Aaron can keep an eye on him, and he gets his energy out the way he’s used to, but mans quickly shuts that down .

Matt discourages him fighting the Prototypes entirely for more or less the same reason Aaron doesn’t like Miles fighting them. It gives Alchemax countless opportunities to improve and make them stronger against people fighting back with the amount of times Miles faces them, but he also sees this as first and foremost unnecessary endangerment of a child when said child has several adults perfectly capable of helping him out (and i mean. yeah.), & as a gateway to destroying whatever or eventually whoever he feels like because Matt doesn’t fully agree with Peter’s version of teaching Miles control. He likes and supports that Peter’s helping Miles not freak out while he’s… like that, but he thinks Peter focuses way too much on the “we’re in this emotion now, here’s how to minimize casualties and have the most fun!” aspect rather than the “we can avoid getting to this point entirely” one. He thinks Peter is being immature and not thinking far ahead enough, which is a dynamic im glad i can keep in this world btw! He tries to give Miles other actual (healthy) coping mechanisms and tips so upsetting stuff is a bit easier to handle, and he won’t just be a walking ball of frustration and other negative feelings until he can beat the shit out of something, and will frequently tell him that fighting isn’t always the answer. Miles typically ignores him about that, because he sees Matt as a giant hypocrite just like Peter rather than someone who is trying to help him not turn out so violent and angry, but somewhere deep down he wants to agree with Matt since it’s the same thing his mom or dad would probably say and he looks up to them.

(also, about Matt finding Peter immature and short-sighted, i think it’s also a bit sad because Peter doesn’t remember anything about his old life and doesn’t really act the way he used to, but still manages to frustrate Matt in the same way he always did anytime they had to work together, and Matt, in his most desperate moments, would do anything to have those moments back. lol. lmao even)

#actual cryptid au #miles morales #peter parker #aaron davis #matt murdock #acau core tag #well not really but #okay fine whatever it’s still going in that tag📹#ignore the camera #m&m posts #stop fucking add thing the M label i swear to god

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logically-asexual · 2 years

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i have a royalty AU in my head with kinda unsympathetic Remus that i’ve been thinking about for a few nights in a row. it’s a slightly different version from some idea i remember having posted here already.

and it’s that Roman and Remus are twins, Roman is the oldest by minutes so he’s the heir to the throne. everyone is always paying attention to Roman because he is the prince and Remus is constantly overlooked, even by his own family, which makes him super angry.

the two of them grow up with Logan because Logan’s parents are some kind of important people in the royal court or whatever so they have an agreement with the King and Queen that Logan would be educated with the tutors that teach the twins because they’re the best in the kingdom. so Logan practically or maybe actually lives in the castle and since he’s around the same age as Roman and Remus they spend a lot of time together.

they all get along fine but things get worse for Remus when he thinks that Logan prefers Roman over him (which he thinks mostly due to his own insecurity caused by everyone else treating Roman better, not because it’s true). so he gets super possessive over Logan and gets angry at Roman whenever he sees the two of them together. which starts many fights.

Remus also realizes he has a crush on Logan and wants to be with him at all times, but he’s convinced himself that Logan must like Roman instead. maybe Logan doesn’t like either of them romantically or maybe he does idk. all the options open nice opportunities for angst. like if Logan does like Roman but tries to hide it because he knows it’ll only cause trouble with Remus and he’s just yearning in silence for Roman. or Logan likes Remus but is scared of him when he gets angry so he avoids Remus more which makes Remus more angry. or Logan doesn’t like either and he’s put in a very uncomfortable position where he has to insist that he’s telling the truth but Remus won’t believe him.

anyway they grow up and the relationship only gets more tense on all directions. they’re not kids anymore and they can’t just play and ignore their problems. Remus gets sent somewhere else as Duke to look over some piece of land far away so he never sees the others, while Roman is preparing to become King. and Logan finished his studies, being the best of the three, and gets hired in the castle, of course, as an advisor for Roman.

now without the pressure of Remus off Logan and Roman become much closer and maybe they’re just friends or maybe they do develop feelings for each other, both are good. they keep growing up and one day Remus returns for whatever reason idk and he’s more resentful than ever. specially noticing how close the other two are and how happy they look without him.

so Remus picks fights with Roman and insults him constantly and also won’t let Logan have any personal space because Remus always around him, as if trying to keep him under vigilance. which sucks for Logan because he doesn’t know what to do. he doesn’t hate Remus nor is mad at him, he just misses being a child and how they all would get along, he hates that everything is so complicated now.

and ummm also my brain provides that Remus comes back because the King and Queen are looking for partners for Roman and Remus to marry, and having them both marry in the same season might be good for diplomatic relations with the families of the spouses or something. they can come to collective agreements and increase the size of the kingdom all at once.

so Remus interprets this as a fight over Logan’s hand. and maybe it is because Roman (with romantic feelings or platonic) would indeed like to have Logan by his side. but the parents decide to make Logan marry Remus because they do want him in the family but his education is too advanced so he can’t be with Roman, since the King can’t be overshadowed.

and uh more trouble ensues. i don’t know. that’s what i got. it’s 1am but im scheduling this for tomorrow instead lol.

#logan sanders #sanders sides #my au ideas (sasi)#remus sanders #roman sanders #logince #intrulogical #???

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