#and now i’m nearly finished with season 3
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The Summoning
summary: so now you’re fucking your roommate on the regular, what could possibly go wrong? It’s just for the camera, right?
an: You guys!! I’m so so happy with the feedback if received for the first chapter of this fic, I want to give you guys as much camgirl!Ellie as I possibly can. So, as before, let’s keep this short and sweet so we can get into it, love you so so so much (also shout out to everyone’s comments and asks on what they wanted to see for this chapter! Yoi all helped me sm! You all know who you are hehe)
warnings: smut!! 18+, MDNI, camgirl!ellie, roommate!ellie, biker!Ellie (there’s lots of tropes in this one lol), JELOUS!ELLIE, mentions of an older woman but it’s so brief, mentions of alternate love interest, face sitting, fingering, filming of intercourse, use of strap, mentions of the word cock, ANGST!, slight fluff??, lmk if I missed anything!
You can read part 1 here!, and part 3 here!
A soft puff of air blew past your lips as you finished organizing the last shelf of records, your eyes looking down at the remainder vinyls that most definitely wouldn’t fit into any of the space you had.
God you hated the holidays.
Well you didn’t, you loved the colder months. It was so cozy, and welcoming, however you hated it as a retail worker. With the changing of the seasons came your manager with boxes of new vintage records that he explained were in high demand for the customers coming in and out of the city, all of which you had to change out and organize from the last collection you’d had for the summer time.
So the holidays were fine, just not when you were working.
Not to mention, the only thing plaguing your mind these days was a specific brunette who had quite the tongue on her.
After that night, Ellie had you rewatch the video, making sure you were okay with it, and it was okay to post. It was weird, because you’d never really seen yourself that way. You never moan too loud, or put on too much of a show during sex, it just was what it was, and it wasn’t ever really done with an audience in mind. But seeing yourself in Ellie’s lap, her strong hands running up and down your body, working on your pussy like a fucking pro, you had to admit.
You looked damn fucking good on camera.
And you weren’t the only one that thought so. After you gave Ellie the okay to post and edit the video, the response was amazing. Gone where the comments asking where Ellie’s usually girl was, missing the chemistry they had, her whiny moans and pretty body, all of which were replaced by a sea of comments and donations coming in, all on your behalf. They asked Ellie to please keep you around, putting in suggestions of what they wanted to see next, what they wanted to see her do to you, next.
Ellie wasn’t wrong, the crowd fucking loved you.
So? You filmed another video. And another, and another, and another, until you and Ellie had created nearly an entire box set of home movies for her adoring fans, all of which had become your adoring fans practically over night.
And fuck, did Ellie know what she was doing.
Sure, you’d had your fair share of good sex in the past. Your ex was pretty good with her hands, and there was that one girl you were seeing for a few months, she was okay with her strap.
But Ellie? Jesus Christ, you quickly caught onto why Julia acted the way she did after Ellie was done with her.
It was all you could think about, the way that Ellie treated your body when you were filming. The way she never failed to pay attention to every part of you before herself, the way she kissed you, the way her hands ran down your body, the way she simply knew how to pleasure a woman.
And it wasn’t like there was any real harm in any of it, right? In helping your roommate with her line of work? That’s what it was after all. You helped Ellie make her content, and she fucked you until you could barely think straight.
In simpler terms, Ellie knew how to fuck, and she knew how to fuck good. Filming with her only further proved that.
Your eyes scanned the record store once more, a stack of records in your hands as you tried looking for another place where these god forsaken vinyls could go. You were close to simply shoving them underneath the cash register, calling it a night and going home before the drunk tourists eager to visit the city got in your way of getting to your bus stop.
You spotted a spot on top of one of the shelves, which made you huff softly in annoyance. You usually avoided it since you couldn’t reach it, vowing to never put yourself out of your way for a bunch of records no one will want to buy, but there weren’t many and you figured you already had them out, so might as well finish what you started.
As you struggled to push the records up into the tall shelf, you heard the little ding at the front door of your shop over the soft music that you had playing. You couldn’t even bother to turn around, knowing it was most definitely some drunk idiot trying to buy a last minute gift for someone.
“Sorry…we’re…fuck…we’re closed” you huffed out as you struggled even further, the tips of your fingers finally pushing one of the records up and sliding it into place. You didn’t even realize you didn’t hear the usual apology paired with the bell ringing again, signaling that the person had left.
It wasn’t until you felt a hand push into the sliver of skin that was slightly exposed between your jeans and your top, making you shriek loudly and recoil from the persons touch. Once you turned around, you were prepared to smash the stack of records you had over the idiots head who thought it was okay to come in and touch random girls while they worked.
But you only came face to face with those gorgeous green eyes that you seemed to constantly see, even when she wasn’t around.
You let out a soft gasp, reaching forward and landing a not so friendly punch on her leather clad arms, a soft huff leaving your lips as you watched your roommate snort softly at you, trying to stifle a laugh.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Ellie?? I could’ve dropped these” you whine, looking down at the disheveled records before you turned around, going back to trying to pushing them back into their spot.
Ellie sighed softly as she came down from her laughing fit, setting her helmet down on the row of records next to her as she leaned against it. “Shouldn’t you be locking the door once you’re closed? Sounds like a safety hazard to me” she hummed out, clearly trying to get under your skin.
You could practically hear that stupid fucking smirk on her lips, which makes you roll your eyes, even if she was right.
“I had a customer before I started putting these away…I’ll lock up once I’m finished” you explained, still struggling with the second record you had, which makes Ellie chuckle softly.
She pushed herself off of the row she was leaned up against before she stood behind you, her chest pressing against your back, one of her hands resting on your hip, giving it a gentle squeeze, before she reached up with ease and pushed the record in with ease.
You let out a soft huff softly, looking down at her hand on your waist before you turn around, looking up at her and narrowing your eyes at the girl. “Is that really necessary?” You question as you gesture to her hand, which only makes her shrug before bringing her hand down and giving your ass a firm squeeze, “not at all. Gimme those and go grab your stuff, I’m taking you home” she explained before she promptly took the records and put them away on the shelf for you.
You simply stare at her in disbelief, watching as she put away the records with ease. She looked over at you, nodding her head towards the back where she knew you kept your stuff while you were working. “Go on. I don’t wanna get stuck in traffic” she explained, which makes you roll your eyes at her before you stomp off to go and grab your things.
Damn her for being so fucking hot.
Soon, you had your jacket on and your bag was slung over your shoulder. When you walked out to the store front to shut off the lights and the music, Ellie was scrolling through her phone, leaned up against the cashier, seemingly waiting for you. She gave you a soft smile when she noticed you were there, pushing her phone into her pocket. “Ready?” She asked, moving to grab her helmet.
You nodded, returning the soft smile before you grabbed the keys, nodding your head towards the door. “Ready” you confirm.
She followed behind you, waiting for you as you locked up the store before leading her out.
You shivered slightly when you both step out into the cold air, watching as the lights of the city illuminate the street, welcoming everyone who was in need of a night out. You just wanted to get home.
You watched as Ellie walked in front of you, setting her helmet down before she opened up her seat to grab her spare and handing it to you before she put hers on and swung her leg over her bike to get on.
Usually, Ellie didn’t pick you up from work. She was most likely busy filming with Julia, finishing up far too late to meet you at work. Sometimes, she’d be in the area and she’d pick you up, but that wasn’t something that happened quite often for you two.
But, ever since you took Julia’s place, Ellie had been picking you up a lot more often.
You took the helmet from her, putting it on your head before you got onto Ellie’s bike, wrapping your arms around her waist and resting your head along her leather clad back. You heard a soft chuckle muffled by her helmet, her head turning to the side a bit as she felt you cuddle into her from behind.
"Don't need to tell you to hold on tight, do I?" She teased, which earns a soft pinch to her side from you.
Before you know it, Ellie is turning on the engine to her bike, revving it a bit, and you two are speeding down the streets of the city towards your apartment.
The feeling of the cold breeze kissing your exposed skin as Ellie drove you both down the streets made your blood pump. It was fucking stupid, but drives home with her had a way of truly making you feel alive for a bit.
You’d never tell her that, though. It would blow her head up way too much.
Ellie had a tendency to show off in many aspects of her life. One of those manifested whenever she was on her bike. She’d rev her engine when she saw a group of pretty girls, tattooed hands gripping the handles of her bike as she watched them swoon over her. She’d get a kick out of it whenever they’d squeal over her, trying their best to call her back, an attempt at trying to get her to turn around and give them more attention.
You thought it was stupid. It was just Ellie on a bike after all.
Ellie stopped once she reached a red light, her back straightening out a bit as she rested one of her hands on her thighs, patting a mindlessly rhythm into her jean clad leg as she waited for it to turn green so you could both get moving again. Your hands loosened a bit on her waist as you waited as well.
You noticed from the corner of your eye a car pulling up next to you. It’s a sleek black 1969 dodge charger, the lights of the city bouncing off of the shiny paint. It isn’t too flashy, but enough so that anyone can appreciate. You can’t help but gawk a bit at the beautiful car, not at all noticing the window slowly rolling down.
You hear a whistle, which catches both yours and Ellie’s attention. In the car, is an older woman. You took not of her features, noticing how pretty she was, long hair tucked up into a bun, body adorned in what you could only assume was an expensive suit. You notice her lips tugged beneath her teeth as her dark eyes bore holes into your direction, and you can only assume she’s gawking at Ellie, as one usually does when she’s out on her bike. As you look closer, you realize she isn’t looking at Ellie.
She’s looking at you.
And you can’t even deny that your chest doesn’t warm up, because she’s clearly extremely beautiful. Her strong, ring clad hands gripping the steering wheel as her eyes travel down your body. You didn’t think that when you tugged on your favorite pair of jeans and your old brown jacket that same morning that you’d be getting attention from anyone, let alone from a fucking rich milf in the middle of the road.
But you aren’t the only one to notice, because you feel Ellie shift forward, her own hands going back to grip the handle bars of her bike, her head never leaving the direction of the woman who’s shamelessly undressing you with her eyes. You gasp softly underneath your own helmet when the feeling of Ellie revving her bike catches you off guard, ripping you away from the trance the woman has you in. You turn your head to look at Ellie, hands tightening a bit around her waist to prepare your take off.
But Ellie’s head never leaves the woman.
This catches the woman’s attention, and she merely chuckles softly before she sticks her hand out her window and gives Ellie a slight wave, as if to silently tell her she’d back off. The light turns green, and while you think that’s the end of it, you catch a glimpse of the woman sending a wink your way before she zooms off, which prompts Ellie to do soon after, just as fast, knuckles turning white as she gripped her handle bars.
If you weren’t holding on tight enough to Ellie, you’d probably have gone flying.
When you both get home, you decide not to question the very bizarre interaction you both had with that woman, figuring it was just Ellie being Ellie, and there wasn’t really anything to it anyways.
At least, that’s what you told yourself.
It makes it even stranger that when you both walk through the door, Ellie doesn’t show a single sign of annoyance, which makes you feel like you’re hallucinating even more than you were before. She’s walking into the apartment, tugging off her jacket and tossing it on a nearby chair, and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before plopping down onto the couch.
So yeah, you’re probably just tired.
You let out a soft hum as you tug off your own jacket before hanging it up, grabbing Ellie’s and hanging it up as well. She had a bad habit of shedding her layers off as soon as she got through the door.
You stand before Ellie in the living room, her legs spread as she babysits a bottle of water, eyes never leaving yours. You watch as she pats her lap quietly, which forces you to give her a look of disbelief.
Usually, you’d have a witty remark for that sort of gesture from Ellie, which would often times be paired with a pillow to her face. But there’s simply something about the way her legs are spread out on the couch, looking so fucking inviting, that makes you quietly follow her orders, and straddle her lap.
Now, most intimacy was supposed to be saved for the camera, it was an unspoken rule of filming with Ellie, or it was a rule you set for yourself. Apart from warming up before filming, letting Ellie get you nice and wet for her before you got on camera with her, there wasn’t really a reason to have any sort of intimacy with her. Things were supposed to go back to normal when you weren’t on camera, back to how things were as roommates.
But, you’d be lying if you said that’s how it was. You and Ellie had always had an affectionate relationship, one that never went without cuddling, caressing, even crashing in your bed from time to time when she couldn’t sleep. You were no stranger to Ellie’s strong hands on your body, because that was just Ellie. She had a thing for gripping and groping, always wanting her hands to be occupied with something whenever you were near, you assumed that’s how she was with everyone.
There just seemed to be something about getting regularly fucked by Ellie that made the intimacy take a different level, a different course that made things feel…different.
And of course, there’s no harm in that. You watched Ellie kiss Julia goodnight every time she left the house, always taking an extra few minutes to hold her when they were done. If they could do it, why couldn’t you two do it?
Ellie let out a soft hum of approval when you straddled her lap, disregarding the water bottle so that both her hands were free to grip your hips, pulling you closer to her. Your hands went around her neck, toying with the hair at the nape of her neck as she pressed her face against your neck, giving your skin a deep inhale.
“Missed you today…” she mumbled softly against your skin, which makes you roll your eyes playfully, yet still keeping her close. “You saw me this morning before I left” you argue softly, which only earns a soft whine from Ellie, you can feel her lips form a pout against your throat before she presses soft kisses to it.
“So? Still missed you” she explained, her voice low as she spoke. You can’t help but giggle softly, staring down at the girl as she litters your throat with soft kisses.
But this feels way too fucking intimate, even for you and Ellie.
You clear your throat, tugging her hair back a bit to force her to look at you, which makes Ellie groan softly, half in annoyance, and half in pleasure. She loved it whenever you did what you wanted with her.
“We filming tonight?” You ask quickly, a sorry attempt at trying to interrupt this soppy little scene you and her are having.
You see a flash of something ripple through Ellie’s green eyes, something you can’t quite put your finger on, because she’s changing her expression much too quickly, giving you and eager nod as her hands go from gently caressing you, to gripping your ass tightly. This makes you whine softly in her lap.
“Eager to have me…aren’t you baby” she chuckles softly, the shift in her personality clear as her eyes quickly darken with lust. You swallow nervously, always feeling small in front of Ellie whenever she looked at you that way. You feel the way she slowly begins grinding your hips down into her lap, strong hands gripping you and moving you as she pleased. You can only nod, your lips forming a gentle pout before a gentle sigh leaves them.
“Always…” you moan out softly, which makes her smirk up at you proudly. You’d gotten so good at voicing what you wanted these past few weeks, it made warmth pool at Ellie’s core.
She gives your ass a firm spank before she nodded her head towards her room. “Go get the camera, baby” she ordered gently, that delicious tone of dominance lacing her words, you quickly followed her instructions, getting up from her lap and going to her room to get the equipment.
That was another thing, with your new presence in Ellie’s work, came a change of scenery in her videos.
Ellie usually kept her videos and streams exclusive to her bedroom, having the common courtesy to not fuck all over your shared apartment. But now that it was just you two, there was a new sense of freedom when it came to filming with you. It happened one day when Ellie was finger fucking your pussy on the couch, and had the bright idea to grab her camera, because it was just too fucking good to not hit record on.
Once again, another example of intimacy outside of filming.
You returned with all of the filming equipment, never knowing what Ellie had planned for a shoot, so instead opting to bring everything so she could choose from.
Ellie smirks softly as she sits up from her spot on the couch, eyes low and filled with lush as you walk back into the living room. You lift up her camera and her tripod, a confused frown on your lips as you look between the two. “M’not sure what you wanted to film, so I brought both. I can always go back and-“ she’s quickly cutting you off, standing up from the couch and slowly making her way to you before she takes both out of your hands gently, and sets them down on your coffee table.
“We can focus on that, later…I need to make sure you’re ready..” she purred out, making you swallow back a whimper.
Her hands go down to yours, gently gripping your arms before she pushes them to rest around her neck, her own hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush to her body.
‘Making sure you were ready’ was just Ellie’s way of saying she wanted a moment with you off camera.
You simply give her a nod, your head already tilting forward as you lean in to press a kiss to her soft lips. Ellie groans in approval, her head tilting to the side a bit as soon as you were pressed against her, deepening the kiss. Her nimble fingers slide down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze while also using the leverage to pull you closer, pressing your chest firmly against hers. This make you gasp, and as always, she uses that opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.
Ellie smirks into the kiss, her tongue exploring your mouth as her hands massage your ass through your jeans.
“Been needy for me, baby? I’ve been needy for you…” she confessed between the feverish kiss. It was slow, and dirty, and so fucking erotic, it had your panties soaked already.
All you could do was nod, desperately pushing your lips back against hers as you tugged at her shirt. “Thought about you all day…” you said mindlessly, which makes Ellie chuckle softly against you.
“Yeah? God…me fuckin too…kept thinking about your pretty cunt all day…fucked my self so many times to the thought of you…” she groaned out. Her words make you moan a bit louder.
You’re so fucked out already, that you can barely register what it is that she just confessed to you.
Ellie hums softly as she breaks the kiss, looking down at you as you stare up at her with lust filled eyes and a needy pout. She tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, her own swollen lip tugged between her teeth.
“Bet you loved when that woman was staring at you…didn’t you.”
This catches you off guard.
Your eyes widen a bit, shocked over the fact that Ellie was even bringing it up to you, especially when all you wanted was her hands on your cunt, not the image of another woman in your head.
You don’t know why, but your first response is to quickly shake your head.
“What? She wasn’t…I didn’t notice her staring” you try, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. Ellie chuckles softly as she watches you, catching your chin between her thumb and pointer finger as she angles your face up a bit more to stare up at her.
“It’s okay baby…she was very pretty…” she agreed, giving a slow nod before she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, head cocking to the side in a teasing manner before she hummed out softly.
“You think she could make you feel as good as I do?” She questioned, blown out pupils surrounded by a sliver of green staring down into your own.
And again, you’re quickly shaking your head, because you know for a fact that there is probably only a handful of people on this planet that can fuck you as good as Ellie can, and that’s being generous to the general population. Ellie fucks good, and anyone who gets to experience that is fucking lucky.
They’re also ruined for anyone else who comes after her.
“Fuck…you know no one can…come on El…need you so bad…” you whine softly, giving Ellie a whiny little pout as you tug at her shirt further, feeling like you’ll explode if you don’t have her hands on you in the next few seconds. Ellie simply chuckles, watching as you whine and pout for her, a sorry attempt at trying to find your way out of the conversation.
“You’re damn right they can’t…such a good girl…” she praises, which makes you whine softly.
Ellie hums softly as she stares down at your body, giving your waist a gentle tap. “Stay here.” She ordered softly before she moved over to set up the camera.
You watch as she sets up the tripod, making it level with the couch, low enough so that it stops right where the back of the couch ends, so that it doesn’t catch your kitchen in the background. She turns it on before she goes behind it, bending down a bit to make sure the angle is good before she nods to herself before she moved to sit down on the couch much like she was earlier, legs spread wide, her dark jeans stretching over her toned thighs. Her arms stretched along the back of the couch, dark eyes boring holes as she watched you.
“Strip” she ordered.
Fuck.
You immediately began slowly stripping for her. Staring with your t shirt, then with your jeans, leaving you in your bra and panties for a moment before you removed those as well, until you were fully naked in front of Ellie, her eyes eating you up like a hungry animal.
“So fuckin pretty…Jesus…” she groaned softly underneath her breath, letting you simply stand there, naked for her, under the dim lighting of your cozy living room.
After a moment passed, she nodded her head towards the camera. “Start recording, and then come over here.” She instructed once again, and she didn’t need to tell you twice.
You slowly walked over to the camera. On the screen, you could see Ellie on the camera, only her body visible, looking so fucking strong and confident. You knew from the angle of the camera alone, that Ellie’s viewers were in for a treat with this one.
And so were you.
When you hit record, you made your way over to Ellie slowly. She hummed softly, eyes staring up at you as you stood over her before she looked down at her lap, as if silently telling you to take a seat. You straddled her lap, the rough material of her jeans on your naked body making you hiss softly.
Ellie hummed, her large hands roaming your body the second you were on her lap. “Fuck…look at you baby..came home to all this?” Her words make you frown in confusion for only a moment, yet you quickly catch onto the fantasy that she’s trying to sell to her viewers.
You give a soft giggle, nodding as you lean in to press a soft kiss to her temple. “Missed you so much…wanted to surprise you..” you purr out softly, a soft whine leaving your lips once Ellie began to slowly grind you down on her lap as she was earlier, yet this time it makes you huff softly, the rough material of her jeans dragging along your sensitive core.
“Aren’t I lucky…coming home to my pretty girl like this…fuck…you’ve been on my mind all fucking day…” she groaned out, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked down at your naked body, a soft hiss leaving her lips as she let her hand come in between you both, catching your slippery clit against her thumb. She watches your facial expression change, a soft moan leaving your lips as you rest your hands on either one of her shoulders, looking down at her hand toying with you.
“So wet already…stand up for me baby” she hummed out softly as she gave your hip a gentle pat. You listened, standing up from her lap, which allowed her to lay down onto the couch, one of her knees bent up as the other leg laid down. She gestured you over to her.
“Come sit on my face princess” she ordered.
Her words alone made you whine, and you wasted no time straddled her face, either side of your legs shielding her face from the camera.
As soon as you were settled, her tongue was out, inviting you down to take a seat as you rested a bit of your wait onto it, your pussy pressing against the warm muscle. You moan out loudly, back arching as you slowly began rocking your hips back and forth on Ellie’s flattened tongue.
The apartment was soon filled with the sounds of your moans, and Ellie’s tongue lapping away at your soaked cunt. It was times like this that Ellie had to depend on you to carry out the vocals, seeing as her mouth was a bit…occupied.
“F-feels so good…missed you so much today…” you moan out shyly, testing the waters with your voice a bit. Ellie groaned below you, her own hips bucking upwards, grinding into nothing as she gave you a quiet gesture to keep going.
You whined, giving her a slow nod as you kept going.
“You look so pretty…fuck…I love your tongue so much…” you moan out again, which earns another moan from Ellie, sending vibrations onto your sopping cunt. You moan loudly again, one of her hands coming up from around your thigh, to snake up your body and toy with your boobs, massaging the skin, pinching your nipples, her hips still bucking up into nothing with need.
You notice, turning around a bit and catching the way her hips bucked up with need. You whimper softly, reaching a hand behind you to undo her jeans before you push them down her pants, her own clit throbbing against your fingers as you begin rubbing her, watching as her eyes roll back when you begin doing this.
“Feels good? Fuck…you’re so fucking wet…fuuuckk…wanna…wanna cum with you…please” you practically beg, your arm already becoming sore from the uncomfortable position, yet you still paid the upmost attention to her poor needy pussy.
Ellie always prioritized your pleasure, it was time you do the same.
Ellie moaned and groaned against your pussy, her tongue speeding up the closer she got, her pussy grinding into your fingers desperately. You arched your back, eyebrows furrowed as you let your head fall back, the pleasure becoming too much.
You knew she was close, the grip on your thighs was almost deadly, and you were too. It wasn’t long before her hips were sputtering, her arousal soaking your fingers as she came. This alone was enough to make you shriek with pleasure, nearly falling back as your arm nearly gave out from behind you, but Ellie’s strong arms were already on your hips to keep you up, pulling you further up as she lapped at your core, helping you ride out your orgasm.
The thing you hated about filming with Ellie the most? You couldn’t even scream her name when she made you cum.
You breathed hard, your exhausted pussy shying away from Ellie’s tongue as you stared down at her, body back in its upright position, her gorgeous green eyes staring up at yours, cheeks red as she gave your pussy kitty licks.
“You should stay out late more often..” you tease, which earns a soft giggle from both of you.
Ellie gives your pussy one last kiss before she pushes you down her body so you’re straddling her waist, her eyes low and hazy as she stares up at you, gently massaging the skin of your thighs.
You always enjoyed the aftermath with her, the silence that came with it, the come down was almost as good as the sex itself. You were both so fucked out, so utterly satisfied, the warmth that overtook you was almost unbearable. You could stay there forever if you truly wanted to.
But alas, it never lasted long enough.
You felt the familiar tap on your thighs, a silent reminder that Ellie had to indeed get up and stop the camera recording. You roll off of her with wobbly thighs, cuddling into the couch and grabbing a nearby blanket to shield your body from the cold air of your apartment.
You watch with sleepy eyes as Ellie gets up, buttoning up her jeans and turning off the camera before pulling it front the tripod to look back at the footage, making sure it was all recorded correctly.
You hear your moans echoing from the device, which makes you whine softly. You always hated hearing yourself, no matter how hot you and Ellie looked. Ellie chuckles softly, shaking her head as she watched the video for a moment longer before she shut off the camera.
“That improv of yours was pretty damn good…they’re gonna like that” she added, making you giggle softly before giving her a shrug. “I always like playing with your pussy” your words make Ellie groan, and she’s suddenly giving you a look of warning, a smirk playing on her lips to match.
“Don’t play with something you can’t handle sweetheart” she warned you, and you can’t help but roll your eyes, despite the fire you feel from that look alone.
“Please, you wouldn’t know how to fuck me even if you had the chance” you challenge her.
Oh yeah, that was another thing. Ellie still hadn’t properly fucked you yet.
You huffed softly as you tugged yet another top off of your body. You’d tried on nearly every article of clothing you had in your closet, yet it just wasn’t fucking working. It was times like this, that you simply wanted to burn all of your clothes and never leave your house again.
You were currently getting ready for a date, a girl you’d met at the record store had ended up asking you out on a date while you were showing her to the new age rock section that the store carried.
The first thing that went through your mind when the girl asked, wasn’t how pretty she was, or how nice her fingers looked wrapped around the edge of the thin vinyls in her hand.
No, none of that went through your head. The only thing that went through your head when the girl asked you out was Ellie.
And that scared you.
Because it’s Ellie for gods sake. The girl you’ve been living with for almost three years now, the girl who you watched eat dry cereal from the box instead of making herself a proper meal, the girl who you’ve watched genuinely find family guy funny…
The girl who’d been playing your body like a fucking guitar for almost a month now.
You realized, you needed this date.
So you agreed, giving the girl your number and telling her to text you so you guys could set up a date.
The guilt was eating you alive, because while Ellie would be fucking you with a dildo, her lips firmly on yours, you knew in the back of your head you had a girl waiting to see you at the end of the week.
And it was conflicting because did you even have to tell Ellie? Would it be stupid if you did? Would it be wrong if you didn’t? It was still just Ellie, after all. Sure, she’d seen you naked now, and she’d made you cum more times than you could count, and you her, but she was still your friend. She was still your normal roommate, your Ellie. And there was nothing really holding you back from going on dates.
Right?
You chalked up all your guilt by convincing yourself that Ellie was probably talking to other girls too, actively searching for a girlfriend, or even a permanent filming partner while you temporarily filled that spot.
Because while you guys never formally spoke about it, that’s all you were, temporary.
It worked out perfectly, because Ellie had gone out for the night, texting you and telling you she had some stuff to do, errands to run. It gave you the place all to yourself to get ready. You would’ve felt extremely stupid sneaking out of your own apartment to avoid any awkward interactions with Ellie. Even though you weren’t even sure if it would even be awkward.
You ended up settling on a little black dress, a pair of black boots and a leather bomber jacket, an outfit you had long since ran dry with how many times you wore, but you looked good, and you weren’t going to to stray away from that.
You fluffed out your hair after you finished up your makeup, spraying on your favorite perfume before you grabbed your phone, sending record store girl a quick text, letting her know that you’d be leaving your house now to meet her at the bar that you two had agreed on going to for your first date.
You couldn’t ignore the sour taste in your mouth, and the aching feeling in your belly as you looked around your room, making your final rounds before you left. There was something about the entire ordeal that just felt…dirty. The fact that you were sneaking around, hiding something that you felt needed to be hidden…
Leaving Ellie for the night.
All of it made you feel ill, and the fact that you felt that way made you feel even worse.
But regardless of it all, Ellie was out and it was all in your head. Ellie probably wouldn’t even care if you went out with a girl! She’d be happy for you, she’d send you out of the apartment with an encouraging slap on your ass before telling you to wrap it up before you-
Suddenly, you could hear Ellie opening up the door from the other side of your apartment door. You feel like you’ll freeze up and die in that very moment.
She walks into the house humming a tune you can’t quite find, probably some song that had been stuck in her head. She has her helmet tucked under her arm, and a brown paper bag with the logo of your favorite take out spot slung along her long fingers. She doesn’t notice you at first, because she’s too busy cursing under her breath as she tries to get herself inside, a low groan leaving her lips a she tosses her keys into the entrance bowl, kicking the door shut behind her.
“Babe? You home? I brought dinner” she calls out.
You feel sick to your fucking stomach.
Because it feels too domestic, too romantic, too fucking far for you and Ellie for her to be calling out for you that way, to be ordering your favorite dinner and bringing it home for you. You aren’t even entirely sure what prompted her to do this, and you don’t know who you’re more annoyed with, her for doing it, or you for not being honest with her.
You’re too caught up in your thoughts, because you barely realize that Ellie’s eyes are finally on yours, a confused frown as she stares at you up and down, clearly readying yourself to leave the apartment.
“You…look so pretty. Are we going somewhere?” She questions slowly, her sentence slipping into a tone of worry, as if she’d forgotten about something that you planned for the both of you, her big green eyes frantically searching yours.
You can’t fucking do this anymore.
You inhale deeply, shaking your head as you clear your throat, your fingers tugging at the bottom of your dress as you try to find your voice, find your words to break it to Ellie.
“I um….I have a date tonight” you mumble out softly, barely loud enough for Ellie to hear, hoping that she doesn’t and some miracle snatches this ridiculous conversation away so you don’t have to experience it.
But she does hear you.
Her face goes from worried to annoyed almost instantly, her brows knitted together as her lips form a confused frown. “A date? With who?” She spits out, and the tone is too accusing for you. It makes you wince slightly, your lips forming a frown of your own as you let out a soft sigh.
“Girl I met at the record store” you sigh out, and you hate this, because it feels so far from what you and Ellie are. It feels to reminiscent of a jealous girlfriend cornering you, confused as to why you’d ever leave her when she was there waiting for you, why on earth would you pass her up for anyone else when she gives you everything anyways?
The energy you can feel radiating off of Ellie is the same thing you felt when that woman was looking at you on the road. It feels hostile, and possessive, it feels like she has some claim on you that you aren’t even fully aware of, and it’s the reason you decided to go on the date in the first place, because regardless of not fully knowing what it is that’s happened between you and Ellie.
You know it isn’t good.
Ellie moves to drop the food onto the coffee table, a bit too harshly in your opinion. Her strong hand goes up to run through her brown hair, one hand on her hip as she stares at the floor for a moment. You should’ve just taken that as an opportunity to leave, to avoid all of this. But you don’t.
“It’s…it’s Friday night. We’re supposed to film. We film every Friday” she argues.
Fuck.
You chew your maroon tinted bottom lip, feeling like a kid who’s done something bad and is now facing the repercussions of a disappointed parent. You feel small, and stupid, and you can’t believe you forgot about it. There had been such a blur between the schedule you had with Ellie, with far too many moments of making out with her on the couch, or her fingers finding their way into your pants whenever you were watching a movie together, that the intimacy in your brain was becoming confused with the intimacy that was needed for the camera and the camera only.
And in that moment, you realize that this needs to end.
Because maybe you and Ellie can go back to normal, maybe you can forget about this and she can find someone who is better at this stuff than you are. It’s too confusing, and it’s putting you in a bad position of thinking too deep into things while also missing the bigger picture, and you’re fucking exhausted.
You inhale deeply, opening your mouth to speak, to tell her that this isn’t what you want anymore, that this isn’t for you anymore. You have it all mapped out, how you’re going to finally tell her that this simply can’t go on anymore.
But suddenly, your phone goes off.
You frown, looking down at the glowing device in your hands. It’s a text from record store girl, she’s telling you how she just left her house, and how excited she is to see you tonight. This catches Ellie’s attention too.
She looks down at your phone, her angry and annoyed expression still present on her face.
“Is that her?” She asks. You let out a soft sigh, shaking your head as you try pushing your phone in your jacket pocket. “Ellie I…when I get back I really think we should talk about-“ she quickly cuts you off, her voice a bit louder than it was when she first asked.
“I said…is that her?” Her words are slower, clearer, as if she wants you to hear every goddamn syllable that leaves her mouth. You know she isn’t fucking around, and you simply inhale deeply, taking your phone out of your pocket and looking at the message that was still lingering at the bottom of your Lock Screen.
“Yeah…it is….” You admit, ignoring how fucking stupid you feel for telling Ellie this. You should have left, you should have ignored her and gone on your date and had a good time so you could come home and tell her that she needed to find a new filming partner, because you weren’t cut out for this shit anymore.
She begins taking slow strides towards you, the closer she gets, the more you can smell her cologne. It makes you swallow back a whine, because her scent is the single most euphoric thing to you right now. It haunts you in your sleep, and it makes your mouth water whenever she’s on top of you.
Soon, she’s right in front of you, her green eyes staring down at your outfit, taking in everything that you have on, how pretty your hair and makeup is. Her slender fingers come up to tug at your jacket slightly, a soft puff of air exiting her nose before she speaks. “What’d she tell you? That she’s on her way? So excited to see you?” She questions, her voice low and taunting as her nimble fingers dance along your jacket, ghosting along the fabric of your dress.
“Fuckin idiot…she’s on her way to some shitty bar and I’ve got her girl practically shaking for me..” she hummed out softly.
And it was true. Ellie had hardly touched you, yet your fists were balled at your side, body practically begging for her as her skilled fingers barely gave you what you wanted. The second she was in front of you, your brain was clouded with her, with all the things you wanted from her, all the things you knew she could do to you.
“Had so much planned for us tonight, baby…wanted to finally show you off live..wanted to take care of that pretty body of yours…and you were getting all dolled up for some asshole who probably wouldn’t know how to make you cum even if she got the chance” she explains, her voice low, minty breath fanning across your face, making you whine softly.
“You’ve never dress like this for me before…” she groans out, and it makes your eyes widen a bit. Before you can open your mouth and say anything back, her skinny fingers are grabbing your chin and angling your face up to fully look at her, her green eyes staring down into yours as she licked her bottom lip slowly.
“God I can’t stand you sometimes..” she sighed out softly before she pressed her mouth against yours in a needy kiss. Your hands instantly wrap around her neck, keeping her close as her own arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against her body.
It’s as if any and all moral high ground that you had was gone, replaced by only thoughts of Ellie. You let her fill you up, breath life into you as her warm tongue explored your mouth, dominated the kiss and took you on a wild fucking ride that only consisted of a single kiss from her.
Soon, she’s breaking the kiss, and it makes you whine and chase her lips. She chuckles softly, the sound dark and taunting as she stares down at your needy eyes and swollen lips. “Now you’re chasing me…poor thing…” she tuts out, clearly mocking you with a pouty tone.
She slips her hand into your jacket pocket, taking out your phone and looking at the message. She rolls her eyes, pushing the phone in between you two.
“You’re gonna call her, and you’re gonna tell her you aren’t coming” she demands. Your eyes go wide, looking up at Ellie before you quickly shake your head. “What? No! Ellie I can’t! I…can’t I just text her?” Even your own words shock you a bit, because are you seriously staying with Ellie when there was a perfectly willing girl waiting for you at a bar down the street?
If Ellie said so, then yeah. Yeah you were.
Ellie shrugged before she unlocked your phone, having learned your password way back when you two first moved in together. “Fine. I’ll call her” she nodded, her fingers scrolling through your phone to find the girls contact. This makes your eyes go wider, and you quickly snatch your phone from Ellie’s hand, because you know that Ellie will be shameless with it, and it’ll make you look way worse than you already do by flaking so last minute.
“No! No…fine…I’ll do it. Just…please be quiet, Ellie” you plead, giving her a look of warning before you sigh softly, looking down at your phone for a moment before you click the girl contact, set it to call, and put your phone to your ear.
Ellie smiles proudly, pearly teeth gleaming as her hands give your hips a firm squeeze. “That’s my fuckin girl…” she praises. Her words makes your insides flutter, core tightening around nothing as you wait for the girl to answer, a gentle pout on your lips despite the fact that your arms were still wrapped around Ellie, and she still had your body pressed against hers.
After a few rings, she finally answers. Her voice is bright and bubbly and you want to kick yourself for doing this to someone so fucking sweet.
“Hey….look…I’m really sorry but I think I’m going to have to-“ your words are cut off by Ellie’s lips pressing against your neck, wet mouth working against your skin, bitting and sucking, sure to leave marks in the morning. It makes you gasp softly..
Because Ellie never left marks.
It wasn’t something that ever really bothered you. It helped in all honesty, you didn’t really want to be walking around littered in Ellie’s hickies, it would’ve resulted in too many questions from your coworkers and friends, and you really didn’t want to deal with that. It was just an unspoken rule, Ellie didn’t mark you, and you didn’t mark her. That was too far along the lines of being a couple for you.
But clearly, that had all changed tonight.
There was a sense of possessiveness that you could feel when she did it. Teeth and tongue sucking and biting at your soft skin, eager to claim you in any way that she possibly could. Between the feeling of it, and the fact that she was doing it, it made it hard to talk, your eyes rolling back into your head as you bit back a whimper, covering it up with a couch as you tried finding the words in your fuzzy head to speak to the girl.
Ellie smirked against your throat as she listened to you struggle, listened to the muffled words of the confused girl on the other line try to understand what it was you were saying.
You tugged at Ellie’s hair slightly, yet still kept her close as she mouthed your neck. “I…I can’t…look I’m really not feeling well..I…mph…I can’t come out tonight. I’m sorry” you quickly ramble out, knowing you were too close to moaning out Ellie’s name to keep this going on any longer. Before you were able to hear what the girl had to say on the other line, you hang up, turn your phone off and toss it onto the couch.
You moan softly, tilting your head to the side to give Ellie better access to your neck. “I can’t believe you fucking did that…” you moan out as you began shrugging your jacket off, tossing it somewhere in the living room. You felt too hot, too fucking needy, everything was just too much and you struggled to wrap your head around what exactly was even happening.
“Me? I didn’t do anything…you’re the one that cancelled on the poor girl” Ellie teased gently, which earns a swat to her arm from your end.
You sigh softly, tugging her hair back so that she’s pulled away from your neck. You waste no time in crashing your lips against hers, your tongue pushing into her mouth with need as you kiss her feverishly. Ellie groans into the kiss, her hands going down to give your ass a firm squeeze. “Eager are we?” She grunts against your lips.
You huff softly, ignoring her words as you begin pushing her backwards towards her room, your lips never leaving the sloppy kiss. It’s so fucking erotic, and messy, and needy, and there’s so much filling it that you can both clearly feel. You decide to ignore it.
“I decided to stay with you…you better make this worth it” you groan out softly, which only earns a smirk from Ellie as she stares down at you, her heart fluttering at the way you pushed her around, did with her as you pleased.
“I always do, baby” she chuckled softly, and all you want to do is wipe that smug fucking smirk off her beautiful face.
Once you’re in her bedroom, you press your palms against her chest, shoving her back to lay on her bed. She lets out a soft moan, clearly happy with the way that you’re handling her.
You tug your dress up a bit as you move to straddle her, her hands instantly moving to grip your thighs. She lets out a soft hiss, her lust filled eyes eating up the way your dress hugs your curves, pushes up your boobs. For a moment, you see a hint of something flash through her eyes as she watches you, taking in the dress that you wore for a date, wore for someone else.
You don’t ignore it this time, because it’s clearly jealously.
You don’t know whether or not you should say something, or kiss her, or do anything else to get your mind off of it, but you don’t have to. Because as soon as you’re settled down on her lap, you can feel a foreign bulge pressing into your clothed core, and it makes your eyes widen and Ellie smirks and rolls her hips up to grind it into you, and then you realize what the surprise that Ellie had was.
Ellie was finally going to fuck you tonight.
And not with her fingers, or with a sex toy, it would be with her strap. She was going to fuck you, something you’d already assumed wasn’t going to happen between the two of you.
She must have noticed the shocked look on your face, because she chuckles as she continues grinding her cock into you, making you whine softly as you press you hands on her hips to give yourself leverage as you roll your hips to meet her movements.
“Feel that baby? It’s all yours…went out and brought a brand new one just for you…” she explained, revealing what it was that she’d been out doing while you were getting ready for your date.
She was buying new toys to fuck you with, and picking up dinner for after.
You felt like you were dreaming.
All you can do is moan in response, eagerly undoing Ellie’s jeans, wanting nothing more than to feel her fill you up, fucking into you deliciously, giving you what you’d always wanted.
Ellie is quick to grab your wrists, pulling them away from her jeans. “Ahh, not so fast, princess….we’re gonna do this the right way” she hums out softly. You can’t help but pout, a soft huff leaving your lips as you open your mouth to complain, but Ellie is already sitting up, gently pushing you back to lay on her bed properly as she crawls over you.
She hums softly, staring down at your body for a moment, silently taking you in before she pushes your dress up, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as her hands find its spot cupping your clothed pussy.
“Hmm….so wet already…I’m gonna have so much fun taking you, baby…” she groaned against your lips, swallowing up your moans as her slender fingers pressed against your clit, rubbing you slowly, forcing the cotton material of your pantries to go translucent as your arousal soaked them almost entirely.
And your head is spinning as she kisses you, because she’s being so slow, so gentle, treating your body with so much care. And it’s not unlike Ellie to do this, but you just assumed this would have gone differently. You expected her to be rough, fucking into you while telling you how no one could ever fuck her like she does…
But she’s not. She’s so gentle, and soft, and it’s making your heart do dances it’s never done before..
Ellie lets out a soft sigh as she tugs your panties to the side, feeling your velvety folds better now without the fabric constricting her. She rubs you slowly, building you up, getting your sopping little pussy all warmed up for her cock. Soon, her hands leave your core, and she pulls you up to tug your dress off before laying you back down, and tugging off your panties as well, leaving you entirely naked before her.
Ellie hisses softly under her breath as she eyes you, sitting back on her legs as she begins tugging off her own shirt, before she crawls off the bed to tug her jeans off, leaving her completely naked as well, eyes never leaving your body.
“You’re so fucking beautiful…” she mumbles out softly before she crawls back onto you, pressing her naked chest against yours. The feeling makes you moan loudly into her mouth as she kisses you, because you’ve never felt Ellie like this. You’ve never had her body pressed up against yours this way, and it feels like the single most intimate thing you’ve ever felt in your entire life.
Ellie’s hand goes down to her cock, gripping the base before she brings it to your core, running it along your sopping wet folds, against your clit before she slowly feeds you her length, earning a whiny moan from you.
Ellie quickly nods as she kisses you softly, one of her hands giving your waist a squeeze. “I know baby…I know it’s big…you can take me…I know you can” she praises you, and it makes you moan softly into her mouth as she rubs your clit, pushing further into your weeping cunt.
“Ellie…fuck…more…need more” you moan against her, the empty feeling still present as she waits for you to tell her it’s okay to keep going. She groans softly, pushing more of her length into you until she bottoms out completely, her thighs flushed against yours as she waits for you to adjust to her size.
You roll your hips slowly, already feeling yourself leaking around the length, and you give her a nod, staring into her green eyes as your hips buck up into her. “Need you, El…need more of you..” you moan out softly.
And Ellie feels like her head is spinning when you say that.
Her strong hand goes down, gripping your thigh as she slowly fucks into you, moaning as her clit bumps against the back of the strap with her movements.
Her eyes never leaves you, watches as your face contorts in pleasure, moaning loudly for her, arching your back when the tip of her cock rubs against your velvety walls, watching as you fall apart on her length.
Her thrusts are slow, and calculated and she’s staring down at all of you as she fucks into you. You suddenly feel her long fingers wrap around your cheeks, pulling you to look up at her because frankly, you’re having a hard time looking anywhere.
“Eyes on me, baby…need to see you right now…f-fuck…that’s my good fucking girl…taking me so well” she praises, and it makes you moan loudly with her. You grab her wrist, watching as she fucks into you faster, both of you getting closer and closer to what you’ve been needing for who knows how fucking long.
Suddenly, Ellie’s hand leaves your face and instead, grabs your hand, bringing it above your head as she interlocks your fingers. Her gaze is so intense, and the grip on your hand is so tight, you feel tears prickling at the ends of your eyes because whatever the hell is happening is too goddamn intense, it’s taking over you completely, and it’s making it all too much.
“Ellie…Ellie I…I…” you choke out between little moans and whines, your eyes growing glossy as you stare up at her, and Ellie is already nodding despite your lack of words, because she understands, she feels it too, and you don’t even have to say it.
“Come on baby…give it to me…fuck…cum with my angel…please” she’s practically begging, her own moans cutting off her words as she fucks you faster, the grip on your hand almost lethal as she stares down at you, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth.
And you feel it, how could you not? Your orgasm washes over you almost painfully, making you close your eyes shut as your back arches, squeezing Ellie’s hand as you cum hard on her cock. It’s too much, too intimate, too fucking intense, and you feel like you’ll explode just from the feeling of it.
Ellie has no other choice but to smash her lips against yours when she sees it, she can practically feel the way you grip her cock with your pussy and it’s the catalyst that sends her into her own sea of pleasure, euphoria swallowing her up and almost drowning her as she kisses you with everything she’s feeling, pouring it all out into you as her hips slowly fuck into you, riding out both yours and her orgasm.
The come down is hard, because she’s on top of you, and it’s quiet apart from the heavy breathing between you and hear, and her head is resting on her chest…
And all Ellie can think about, is how utterly fucked she is..
Because she’s in love with you
#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie tlou#ellie x y/n#ellie the last of us#ellie x you
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omggg please do a part 2 to the dilf jeonghan fic
tis the season
pairing : dilf!jeonghan x college student!reader
content : smut (mdni u already know)
in which : it’s time for christmas break, and iseul is asking you to buy some time with her father so she can finish her last minute shopping. you’ve been meaning to spend some one on one time with her dad, and now you finally can
warnings : age gap (late 40’s jeonghan, early 20’s reader), daddy kink (i’m sorry but it’s also like barely there), pet names (princess, baby, good girl, slut, whore, sir), dom & sub dynamics, dumbification, teasing (dirty talk, degradation, praise), mentions of multiple orgasms, fingering, finger sucking, lingerie kink (kinda? i think?), u two want each other so bad, iseul (yeah she’s a warning in this one lol), hannie’s kinda mean but u like it
wc : 3.3K words
note : i was wondering how long it would be before someone requested this. srry it took so long omg i had no idea what i wanted to do w this i literally had like 3 diff ideas
part 1
By now, the Yoon household had become like a second home to you.
Even though it was just Iseul, Jeonghan, and that big maze of a house, it didn’t ever feel like anything was missing. Since Iseul brought you over the first time, things hardly ever changed. You’d still slept in Iseul’s room whenever you slept over (until Jeonghan made one of the guest rooms into a room for you, then the two of you both started having your sleepovers there), you still took a wrong turn trying to find the bathroom and ended up in the kitchen or the laundry room, and you still ended up bent over on a new surface somewhere in the house while Jeonghan had his way with you.
It was a comfortable routine. One you were upset would have to abandon for the next three weeks to drag yourself back to your dull little hometown to spend time with your family and a handful of other relatives who’s names you couldn’t remember even if you tried.
“You know you could just come stay with us,” Iseul said offhandedly one day when you mentioned how much you were dreading on returning home. The suggestion hadn’t held that much meaning when Iseul gave it, she already knew just how much you enjoyed coming over, but in that moment she had become your saving grace.
“Really? You mean it?” The girl just nodded, jumping in surprise when you pulled her into a hug and spun her around. “What would I do without you, Iseul?”
“Wow, it’s that bad, huh?” She laughed, patting you on the shoulder once you had placed her back on the ground.
“Oh please, you have no idea.”
You rode in Iseul’s car for the first time the next day. When she asked how you were planning to get there and you mentioned the countless number of times you’ve Ubered back and forth to her house, she nearly started crying and promised to drive you anywhere you wanted from now on. “Do you know how much money that adds up to? No more Ubers!”
So now here you were, in the passengers seat of Iseul’s white Honda Accord, gripping onto the handle above the door as Iseul sped down the roads with the most stoic look on her face you think you’ve ever seen. The Ubers may have been expensive, but at least they were safe. It confused you a little; you had ridden in the car with Jeonghan at the wheel before and never had an experience like this. Clearly Iseul hadn’t inherited those skills from him, but right now you were wishing she had.
“Are you alright?” She looked over at you when the car finally came to a stop at a red light. You nodded, one of your hands flat against your chest as you felt your heart threatening to beat right out of your ribcage. Iseul smiled, either ignoring the panic you were trying to hide or not picking up on it at all as she sped off as soon as the light had turned green. “We’re gonna take a shortcut, there’s way too much traffic right now and—shit!” The car lurched to a halt, both you and Iseul’s bodies jerking forward with the sheer force of the stop. “Oops, I almost hit the curb.”
You really needed your own car.
After spending the next eight minutes in Iseul’s death trap car, you pretty much threw yourself out of the seat when you saw that she was pulling into the garage to the side of the house. You considered kissing the ground, but you didn’t. Your sister was a worse driver.
“Dad, we’re home,” Iseul shouted into the warm interior of the house. There was no immediate verbal response from Jeonghan, he just snaked his way through the hallways of the space with a mug in his hands and a smile on his face.
“Hi, Seulie,” He hummed, letting his eyes wander over to you. “Hello, [Y/n].”
“Hi, Mr. Yoon.”
“How was the drive? Was there a lot of traffic?” Jeonghan had already started retreating back to the living room, you and Iseul followed, seating yourselves next to each other on the couch.
“It was fine. The traffic wasn’t so bad, everyone’s probably going to the airport.” Iseul hummed. She turned her head in your direction. “Dad’s happy you’re staying over. He pretends like he’s calm about it, but he giggled when I called him and told him earlier.”
Your body flushed with heat at your friend’s casual comment, your eyes flitting over to Jeonghan, who was staring down into his mug. The two of you haven’t gotten to spend much time together for a while since you were usually coming over to spend time with Iseul lately. He missed you.
“We’ll have the next three weeks to spend together, sir.” You smiled, finally getting him to look back at you. One of his eyebrows quirked upwards—he was expecting to keep that promise, but he wouldn’t say it. He would just expect you to act on it.
And you would.
You hadn’t acted on it.
A week into staying with Iseul and Jeonghan, you had spent almost every waking moment of your time with your friend. Baking cookies, decorating the house, watching Christmas movies, going ice skating for the first time in your life (and having Iseul laugh at you until she cried when you ate shit on the ice over and over again), and a plethora of other festive events. You had been having such a good time with her, the promise you made to Jeonghan had let itself slip from your mind. The most the two of you could do was kiss for a few seconds before Iseul came popping up from around a corner or shouting your name to the house in hopes of a response. She was his daughter, and you were her friend, but he was losing his patience. All he wanted was some time to have you all to himself.
Maybe today he would finally get the chance.
Monday morning greeted you with a six am phone call from Iseul, which you answered, your mind and voice still riddled with sleep. “Hello?”
“So sorry to call you so early, but I am totally gonna make it up to you.”
“Iseul, what��”
“Look, I have to finish shopping for presents. I don’t know when I’ll be done, there’s kind of a lot on my list,” She explained, and you thought she was joking. It was just her, you, and Jeonghan. How long could the list possibly be? “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know where I was. Something else…oh! Maybe spend some time with dad while I’m away. He gets lonely, y’know. Okay, that’s all, bye!” Iseul hung up the phone before you could even process everything she had said, leaving you staring at the device in your hand dumbfounded.
“Okay.” You sighed, dragging yourself out of bed and to the bathroom (the one connected to your new room, because you were sick and tired of almost pissing yourself because you walked into the study instead) to freshen up.
Finally, you thought. Finally you’d have private time to spend, just you and Jeonghan. The time you spend with Iseul was precious to you, obviously, the girl was your best friend. But if you said the reason you had wanted to come over was just to avoid your family and bond with Iseul, you’d have been lying. You smiled to yourself, wondering what the two of you would do, and you squeezed your thighs together if it would be anything like you had come to finish your midterm project.
You jumped at the sound of the door opening and peeked your head out of the bathroom, your body relaxing when you saw Jeonghan standing in the doorway, his hands behind his back. You sighed with relief, bending over slightly to spit out the toothpaste in your mouth and wiping your mouth.
“Do you and Iseul always wake up so early?” You asked him as he got closer. He shook his head.
“It’s usually just me that’s up at this time.” He mumbled. “Where is she, anyway?”
“Last minute shopping.” You said, finally turning your body to face his. His hands were still behind his back, and Jeonghan smirked when you tried to peek at what he was hiding. “What is that?”
“What, this?” He shrugged. “Oh nothing. Just something I picked up one day. It’s supposed to be your present, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give it to you now, hm?”
You gasped, your heart swelling with the knowledge that Jeonghan had gone out and gotten something for you. Both of his eyebrows shot up at the excitement creeping onto your face and he quickly turned away from you.
“Or maybe I should just wait until Christmas. You wouldn’t mind, would you? I’m sure the presents Seulie got for you will be better than this.” Still smirking, Jeonghan started to walk away but stopped in place when you pulled on his arm.
“No! I’m sorry sir, really am.” You pouted, reaching to try and take the present from Jeonghan, but he easily held it just out of your reach. “Iseul will be gone for a while. It’s…just the two of us.”
Jeonghan groaned at that. He loved his daughter, but he’d gone too long without getting to have you all to himself. Turning back around, Jeonghan placed the gift in your hands. “Alright, princess. Just one condition before you open this.”
“Anything for you, sir.” You but your lip in anticipation, eagerly awaiting the response he would give you. Jeonghan leaned down, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear.
“You have to do anything I say, got that?” You exhaled shakily, but you still nodded, and Jeonghan cupped your face, swiping his thumb along your bottom lip.
“Good girl,” he murmured, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. He tasted good, sweet, like hot chocolate. That’s probably what he’s been drinking in that mug everyday. When he pulled away, you whined, much to Jeonghan’s delight. “I’m not going anywhere. Go on, open your present.”
You smiled, giving your full attention to the neatly wrapped box in your hands, gently untying the silver ribbon holding it together and lifting the top of the box up. You gasped. Lingerie. Jeonghan got you lingerie. “S-sir, I…”
“Put it on for me. Right here.”
Stunned into silence by his abrupt request, your clothing was thrown to the ground with haste. Jeonghan watched you the entire time from his seat on the edge of your bed, drinking in the way you would fidget and avoid making eye contact with him. Yeah, you were a little nervous. He’s never asked you to strip for him, usually he would just rip off your clothes to avoid wasting any time. He really seemed to be enjoying the fact that Iseul was away.
“It’s pretty, sir.” You whispered, tracing your fingers over the delicate lace now adorning your skin. It was white with pale pink detailing, and the bra piece had mesh slips that went all the way around your upper body. The bottom piece was a thong with a slit at the crotch. Oh, and one more tiny little detail. It was almost entirely see through. “Did you have to get something with one of these…holes?”
Jeonghan nodded, pulling you into his lap, your back flush against his chest. “Makes things easier,” he said, trailing his fingers up your inner thigh. You exhaled shakily at the feeling of them circling around your wet hole. “Already so wet for me, aren’t you?” You nodded, unable to stop the moan that spilled from your lips when he pushed one of them inside you.
There was nothing Jeonghan wanted more than to fuck you senseless right now. He’d been holding himself back for a week. Just the sounds of your moans and the way he had to hold you down just to get you to stop squirming had his cock straining against his pants. The only reason he bothered with foreplay was so you’d take him without a fuss (and because he liked it when you begged him not to stop).
Your head fell back onto Jeonghan’s shoulder at the addition of a second finger, your eyes screwed shut and your mouth hanging open while you panted and whined. “F-Feels s’ good, sir. Missed this so much. Missed you so much.”
“Missed you too, baby,” Jeonghan mumbled, curling his fingers up inside of you to hit that spot that had your head spinning. You’re shaking and sweating and you can’t think straight, the feeling of Jeonghan’s fingers caressing your insides forces any other thoughts out of your head. Just when you think you can’t handle anything else, Jeonghan suddenly pinches your swollen clit, the sensation making you tighten around his fingers as you scream. “Liked that, didn’t you?” He repeated the action, the corners of his lips tilting upwards when your body reacted the same way once again.
“Mmm, yeah, liked it so much, sir. Gonna c-cum, can I?” You forced your eyes open to look at him, the pleasing look on your face doing nothing but making him harder. If he didn’t need to fuck you so bad, he would’ve said no. Seeing as this wasn’t the case, Jeonghan nodded, despite wanting this to last just a little longer.
“Yeah, princess. Go ahead and cum for me.”
His permission was all you needed before you allowed yourself to fall apart on his fingers. You cry out his name over and over until you’re left breathless. Jeonghan continues to finger you until your high has passed, and once it has, he pulls his fingers out and holds them up to your mouth. “Open,” he says, and you allow your lips to part enough for him to stick them into your mouth.
The taste of yourself on your own tongue and the action itself has you groaning, and you close your lips around his fingers, sucking off every last drop of your release.
“Good girl, sucking my fingers like the whore you are. I almost forgot how much of a slut you are,” This time, Jeonghan groans at your actions, pulling his fingers away. When you finally opened your eyes again, he was already naked. Oh, naked Jeonghan, one of your favorite sights, by far. Leaning forward, you ghosted your hands over the base of his cock, which had the older man moaning. “Fuck, baby, so desperate for my cock aren’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”
You fell backwards onto the bed and gazed up into Jeonghan’s eyes, holding onto his arms tightly as the tip of his cock slipped into your aching pussy. It had been long—too long—that you had gone without the satisfying feeling of Jeonghan stretching you apart and filling you to the brim, you almost forgot how good it felt. Jeonghan felt the same, he had long craved the warmth of your insides, how wet you’d get for him so easily, how you so easily obeyed his every order.
He didn’t bother to start off slow, not when he had been waiting so long to finally have you like this. His pace was rough and unforgiving, each thrust seemed deeper than the last, but still you loved every second of it.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting his to be as close to you as he could possibly be. “Ah! Yes, right there, sir!” You cried, out as his cock abused your sweet spot, your eyes rolling back into your head.
“Feels so good, doesn’t it, princess? You like it when I fuck you like this? Hm? When I use this tight, cute little pussy of yours?”
You nodded, the words you had planned to say dying at the back of your throat and being replaced by sounds that were a combination of grunts and moans. With one of his hands, Jeonghan held onto your face, trying to get you to look at him. Your eyes were glassy and unfocused with lust, and Jeonghan grinned at your fucked-out state.
“Oh baby, if only you could see yourself,” He groaned. “So fucking pretty, you can’t even use your words. All you can do is moan like the little cockslut you are, isn’t that right?” Just like he had done before, Jeonghan’s fingers pinched your clit, once again making you cry out with pleasure.
You tried to speak—to warn him of your imminent orgasm, but all you could squeak out were a chorus of high-pitched whines as the man above you pushed you closer to your release. He seemed to get the hint though, with the way your hole clenched around his cock, making it harder for him to move.
“Gonna cum, princess?” You squeaked again. “Aw, I know, baby. Poor sweet thing, can’t even tell me yourself. You don’t need to ask me, since I’m sure you would’ve cum anyway. But go ahead, cum.” His tone was so mean and condescending, and that was exactly that tone that made you cum for a second time.
Not even a moment after you had cum, Jeonghan was following you over the edge, pushing his cum deeper into your pulsating core all while your spent body shuddered beneath him. He shushed you, stroking your hair to get you to become calm and quiet once more before snapping his hips forward again.
“S-sir! I’m still…” Jeonghan shushed you again, never letting up with the fast pace he had set earlier on. His hips snapped against yours, the sound of skin against skin being one of the only sounds in the room aside from your pornographic moans and the occasional groans or rare grunt from Jeonghan. You were so out of it, you couldn’t even stop the words that came flying out of your mouth. “D-Daddy, please…”
You don’t think you’ve ever heard Jeonghan moan so loud.
“It’s alright baby, Daddy’s got you.”
The two of you continued for what felt like hours. Several different positions, a dozen more orgasms, one very long bath, and a two-hour long nap later, you could finally feel your body again. You blinked, looking around the room when Jeonghan opened the door.
“You’re awake,” his smile was gentle. “Do you need anything?”
You shook your head. “No, that’s alright, thank you.”
Jeonghan made his way to the bed and knelt down in front of you. “I didn’t hurt you, did I, baby?” The concern was written all over his face, the idea of you being in any sort of pain or discomfort would absolutely break his heart. Now you were the one smiling.
“No, never. If that were the case I would’ve told you, sir,” you tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, letting your hand linger on the side of his face. “I think I’m in love with you.” You confessed quietly, almost as if you were afraid to admit it.
“You’re really gonna act all shy after everything we’ve done today?” He teased you, resting his head on your thighs. “Don’t worry, princess. I love you too.”
Don’t worry princess, I love you too.
You could’ve died right then. Jeonghan’s cheek on your thigh, his breath tickling your skin, reciprocating his love for you. Nothing could be better. Just you, Jeonghan, and—
“Hellooooo? [Y/n]? Dad? I’m home.”
Iseul.
“Iseullllll!” You shouted. Jeonghan pulled himself away despite his reluctance to part from you and stood himself up right as Iseul walked into the room.
She gasped. “Dad? You’re here too? Did I miss something?”
“Nothing at all, Seulie.” Jeonghan assured his daughter, his hand on her back as he walked her out of the room. “Did you find everything you were looking for? Nothing happened to the car, right?”
“I drive fine, what do you mean? You’re mean, you know that? [Y/n] never complains about my driving.”
He spared you one last glance, and your heart skipped a beat. It was just like the last time. Except this time, you loved Jeonghan, and he loved you back.
And that was the only thing you could ever want for Christmas.
#yoon jeonghan#svt jeonghan#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan#jeonghan smut#seventeen jeonghan#seventeen#svt#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen smut#svt smut
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The Scare
Synopsis: A terrifying crash puts Y/n in an even more terrifying situation, and it affects everyone, in the end.
young female driver x 2023 F1 Grid
A/N: for this one, valtteri is retired and reader has taken his seat at alfa romeo
also, @badassturtle13 you requested a fic like this a month or two ago while i was in my writers block-era, but if you remember your ask and would still like to read it, here it is
You knew the risk. All twenty of you did. That’s how yet got into these cars every weekend. But that doesn’t make it any easier when you actually face the risks.
You weren’t the biggest fan of the Las Vegas Grand Prix from the start. You knew the planning for it was rough, and that there were a lot of elements of the weekend that everybody was unsure of.
You weren’t exactly surprised when the reasoning behind the storm drain incident was released after Free Practice 1, or when race directors revealed they didn’t even look at the predicted weather for this weekend.
But there wasn’t much you could do about either, about any of it really, so you put your head down and focused on your car.
You joined Alfa Romeo as the third rookie of the 2023 season, and although you and Zhou weren’t getting wins and podiums each weekend, you finished in the points nearly every race, and helped bring your team up to 8th in the Constructors Championship.
As of the second to last race, you were having a good first season; you and Zhou got along great, your team trusted you, and you liked getting to know and hanging out with the rest of the grid. Specifically, your closest friends Logan and Oscar, who you were walking with in the paddock before Sunday’s race.
“Is it bad that I’m not excited for the race?” Oscar asks from the middle of you three, as you walk down the grid.
“I don’t blame you, I wouldn’t want to start P17 either” You admit.
“You’re gonna be fine Oscar, you’ve made your way up the field before, you’ll do it again” Logan shrugs, assuring him.
Oscar nods as you speak up with the beginning of a smirk on your face. “When you make it up the field and into the points, along with me and Logan, what are we doing to celebrate?”
“No. No, we have-” Oscar’s already shaking his head as Logan laughs. “I know some of the grid is going to a club a few blocks away, you guys wanna go?”
“Yes,” You rush to say after you see Oscar start to protest. “we’ll go. No objections”
“We have flights tomorrow-” You interrupt the Australian. “I don’t care, we should all go. And I have to leave now so you can’t say no” You point out as you near the Alfa Romeo garage. Oscar rolls his eyes playfully as Logan continues to laugh.
“Good luck Y/n, see you after the race” Logan says, still chuckling as Oscar waves and continues down the paddock with the American by his side.
You greet Zhou as you walk towards your drivers room to meet with your trainer. The last 20 minutes you have before you’re needed on the track is spent doing reflex tests and speaking with the strategists one last time.
You leave the garage to stand for the national anthem after a brief Grid Walk interview with Martin, and quickly return for the formation lap.
“Alright Y/n,” Your team principle, Alessandro, comes over your radio as you’re pulling out into the pit lane. “do your best to maintain P7 or higher, just be aware of the tires. Stay safe, good luck”
“Thanks, will do. See you at the finish line” You reply before flipping down your visor and accelerating onto the track.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s a cold night here in Las Vegas, but the city is awake and ready to watch the last U.S race of the 2023 season. Our drivers are approaching the starting line, the five lights are coming on, and it’s light’s out and away we go!”
You manage to pull away from Magnussen behind you and advance closer to Logan in front of you as you near Turn 1. You get through the first and second lap fine, until your race engineers Alex, informs you that Lando’s crashed during Lap 3, and the 19 drivers remaining are being led by the safety car until Lap 7.
You think your race will be uneventful past that point until you notice the reluctance in the car’s breaking during Lap 19. “There’s something wrong with my brakes, it’s getting hard to slow down” You radio concerned, back to your team.
“Stand by Y/n, we’re checking” Alex tells you as you approach Turn 1 on the next lap. After a few moments without an update, you radio again.
“Anything? It’s getting bad, I can’t slow down” Your voice shows your clear concern. It’s clear to everyone that you’re getting more and more distressed each minute.
“One moment, Y/n, we’re trying” The engineer becomes audible again, and you get that everyone in the garage is trying, but right now it’s not enough.
You’re going at 150 miles an hour down the straight after Turn 4, and you could practically hear your heart beating nervously as you approach Turn 6.
You press on the brake pedal. Nothing. You try to release your hold on the accelerator pedal and clutch on your steering wheel. Nothing.
You go through the options in your head;
Turn and crash purposefully now to slow your car down? There are drivers less than a second behind you, the straight isn’t that wide, they could get hurt.
Turn and hit the curb as you pass the corner to slow down? There are drivers less than a second behind you, the corner isn’t that wide, they could get hurt. You could get hurt
Your adrenaline is pumping, thoughts are flying through your head at a million miles per second, and you don’t know what to do.
You’re going 150 miles an hour down a straight, but now the corner is coming closer.
“I can’t fucking stop! Alex!” You’re pressing the radio button frantically, hoping someone, anyone responds.
Nothing.
It all goes by in a flash.
Turn 6 comes at you faster than you imagined. Your Alfa Romeo crashes front-wing first into the barriers, the momentum of a 150 mile-per-hour car so strong, not even your harness can stop your body from colliding into your steering wheel.
Everything goes white for a moment, all you could hear is a deafening ringing in your ears, and then the only thing you could feel is pain.
The hurt in your chest is intolerable. You think you’re screaming. There’s smoke or clouds of dust or something else you can’t begin to decipher in the air surrounding you. You could feel the vibrations of the track from the passing cars below you, but you don’t bother to move your head up from where it rests on top of your wheel.
If the ringing wasn’t so loud, you might’ve been able to hear three of your ribs on the right side of your chest break when you first made impact with the wheel. If the pain wasn’t so unbearable, you might’ve been able to notice how because three of your ribs on the right side of your chest are broken, your lungs can barely produce oxygen for you to breathe.
It’s only when you try to gasp for air against the tears running down your face do you notice. The second you try, it sends streaks of pain overflowing throughout your body. Then you realize. You can’t breathe.
You want to stay calm, you really do, but you’re crying so much you could feel them soaking your balaclava, you’re scared to the point that your hands are shaking uncontrollably, there’s still so much adrenaline in you, and you can’t breathe.
You try to radio your team to tell them to send medics or just do something to help, but when you open your mouth to speak, the same thing happens as when you tried to radio for help earlier.
Nothing.
You’re stuck in your crashed car, without a voice, without a breath, and you think this is it.
It feels like hours, but really, it’s only been about a minute since you’ve crashed. Every grand stand is silent, and Martin Brundle and David Croft are speechless. Alex is trying to communicate with you while the other engineers attempt to figure out the the state of your car. Drivers are being led by the safety car under a red flag, anxiously talking to their own engineers to find out if you’re okay. And finally, the safety marshals and medical staff have made their way onto the track and to your car.
The marshals repeatedly shout to you for a sign of responsiveness while the medics move to pull you out of the car. Everyone else is either running in and out of the ambulance that’s just arrived, or helping place a curtain around you for privacy.
The medics transfer you onto a gurney on the ground while the lead medic assess you. She’s pulled off your helmet and balaclava and is left staring at your pale face, alarmed eyes, and gasping mouth.
A few touches to your pulse and lungs confirm her suspicion, and the woman quickly asserts her team. “She has flail chest, she needs an oxygen machine and an IV for pain meds. Her ribs are broken on the right side of her lungs, she’s been barely breathing”
The materials asked for are provided in seconds, and within a few moments, an oxygen mask is placed around your face, and the skin in your left forearm is being pierced with a needle.
For the first time since you started Lap 19, you’ve found both your voice and your breath, the pain striking through your body isn’t as severe anymore, and your nerves have calmed down.
The lead medic hovering over you notices your less-tense state, and lets out her own breath. “You okay kid?” With an oxygen mask, 3 broken ribs, and an IV in your arm, you nod with small smile of relief on your face.
The medics let you stay laying down on the gurney, and transfer you into the waiting ambulance to get you to the nearest hospital. The safety marshals update the Alfa Romeo garage on your state of health, and your damaged car gets moved off the track. Once informed themselves of the situation, Crofty and Martin advise the anxious and waiting fans of your condition and when the race will resume.
The 18 drivers that were restlessly sat in their garages are now visibly relieved and preparing for the race start. The engineers on your side of the garage are pouring over the data from Lap 19 to figure out where it all went wrong, while your trainer leaves to go meet you at the hospital.
While you’re in the hospital, you get hooked up to a new IV and get assessed by a nurse before a doctor comes in to take your X-rays. The results show your 3 broken ribs and the few bruises on your lungs that are set to heal within a week or two.
You’re put on a ventilator to help your breathing after the doctor tells you that you had to stay in the hospital for at least 3 days, and you’d miss the last race of the season as a precaution.
You also undergo surgery hours later to stabilize the broken ribs, and ensure you’re not internally bleeding. Because of all the anesthesia and pain medicine, your either asleep or painless for your first night in the hospital.
The next day is when you’re brought into the real world again, and your trainer tells you everything you missed. He tells you Lando, who you learn was in the room a few doors down when you came in, visited you after your surgery and wished you to get better soon. He tells you about the rest of the race and everything the rest of the drivers have said about you and your crash.
You talk to your team eventually and convince them to let you travel to Abu Dhabi on Saturday to at least watch the race from the garage. You talk to your parents and friends to inform them that your lungs are healing accordingly, that you’re off the ventilator, and have been breathing fine by Thursday.
You’re discharged from the hospital Friday night, and only stop at your hotel to collect your things before catching a flight to Abu Dhabi. You told Logan and Oscar you’d be arriving Sunday morning, which explains why they’re so surprised when you show up in the paddock after Qualifying Saturday night.
“It’s not the best place to start from but-” Logan spots you first, in the middle of a conversation with Oscar. “Oh my god” Is all he mutters before running up to bring you into a hug. You’re smiling, almost laughing at his reaction, until you hear what the American says.
“Don’t do that again. I thought you-” You notice his voice break, and you’re once again aware of what everyone else was feeling while you were breathless inside your car almost a week ago.
“I won’t Logan, I’m okay now” You assure him as best you can before Oscar comes over to both of you. Logan lets go momentarily while the McLaren driver hugs you.
“We were all really scared, y’know. We didn’t know,” He pauses, his voice catches before he’s speaking into your shoulder again. “we didn’t know if you were okay”
“I know Oscar, I’m here though, I’m okay” You know you can’t say much in sympathy to either of the drivers right now, you’ll never exactly know the anxiety and worry they felt on Sunday, but you do tell them about your time in the hospital and how you’re expected to make a full recovery in time for next season.
“I wish you were driving today though, you should be in your car for the last race” Oscar says as the three of you walk through the paddock together.
“I know, I want to drive too, but at the same time, I’m kind of glad I’m not driving until next season. I want to let my lungs rest and everything before I get in my car again” You say with a shrug.
You were being truthful; you weren’t afraid of crashing again, you actually couldn’t wait to drive your Alfa Romeo, but you heard all the possible long term affects of rib and lung damage, and you’d rather miss out on one race than your entire F1 career.
“I’m just glad you’re okay” Logan admits as Oscar nods.
“Yeah, me too”
a short, somewhat emotional f1 fic. 1 down, 3 to go
#reader insert#formula 1#driver reader#f1 grid x reader#formula 1 driver imagines#platonic f1 grid#f1 2023 grid x y/n#f1 imagine#female driver reader#angst#angst with a happy ending#oscar piastri x reader#logan sargeant x reader#platonic oscar piastri#platonic logan sargeant
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Nighttime Comfort - Seth Jarvis
a/n: thanks to @human-trainwreck for the idea of the "best friend's younger brother" trope! i got the idea and ran with it and finish this in one night <3 if anyone has more seth ideas, send them my way! i had more ideas and definitely missed some things...part 2 maybe?? 👀
summary: you've always seen your best friend's little brother as just that, until one night, after thinking about him for months, everything changes when he comforts you after nightmares
warnings: mention of nightmares (no descriptions), slight age gap (i envisioned seth being 22 and reader being 23 or 24, so not terrible, but it's brought up multiple times)
word count: ~4.2k
“Seth should be gone by the time we get home, so you won’t have to deal with him while I’m out,” your best friend Daisy says to you as you near her home. The two of you had been out shopping all day, finally having time to spend with each other after your hectic schedules failed to line up for so long.
With your job at a local publishing company and the influx of demands your boss needed to meet the proper deadlines, and her traveling with her boyfriend, who is a hockey player in the NHL, it was hard to meet up. But finally, now that the off-season is here and your work has slowed down some, you could meet up and catch up on all the lost time.
“You know I don’t mind him,” you tell her. “He’s fun to be around.” She rolls her eyes at your words and you can’t help but laugh.
You grew up next to Daisy and Seth in Winnipeg and as time went on, you and Daisy became nearly inseparable, doing everything together and playing in each other’s backyards every day after school. That also led you to becoming rather close with her younger brother, only two years younger than you and her, but he was always around as their parents practically forced Daisy to include him.
Not that you minded, he was very amusing and a great joy; he was extremely chaotic and energetic, and was always trying to get you to laugh and mess with you in a teasing and fun way. Daisy was so embarrassed by him every time, but you truly weren’t bothered by it.
Things changed a little right before you entered high school. During the summer between eighth grade and ninth, your family moved away, although it was still in the same district and within driving distance, no more than fifteen minutes. It did hinder your ability to see her and Seth outside of school or on the weekends. Things did go back to normal when you and Daisy got your licenses and could see each other whenever.
As the years went on, things continued to change and shift. With Seth going into the NHL, and Daisy becoming a WAG for the Winnipeg Jets, you rarely had time to see them over the past couple of years, but through different interviews and videos of him from the Hurricanes and other media, you could tell Seth was still the same guy you grew up with and knew so well.
“I haven’t seen him in a while anyway. I think the last time was around Christmas, when he came home. That was almost seven months ago.”
“Believe me, seven months is not enough time away from him,” she grumbles, making you throw your head back in laughter.
He was always the life of the party. He could light up a room with his energy and sweet smile just by walking into it, and he’s cheered you up countless times after numerous events that upset you over the years.
And you didn’t want to believe it, but deep down, you always felt something more for him. Some little voice in your mind was screaming that he’s a sweetheart and would be an incredible partner. But you pushed that idea down for many reasons, one of which is because you figured he never would see you as anything more than his older sister’s best friend; it was an unspoken rule, really, and neither of you wanted to cross that line.
The two of you drag your number of bags into her house, where you were staying for the week since her parents were on vacation and your apartment was being renovated because of a flood issue on your floor.
“Just set them down and we can go through everything when I get back,” she states.
She needed to run an errand with her boyfriend, to check on his grandmother about an hour away and bring her the prescription she needed. That meant you would be alone for the next three hours or so, and after the long day you had, it was exactly what you needed.
She left shortly after dropping everything off, and in the meantime, you showered and then ordered some food. Everything in the house was calm, you were watching your favorite TV show on the TV, and it felt peaceful to have this kind of downtime after a full, busy day.
But that peace was quickly ruined an hour or so later. The time rolled around to 7:45 and in comes Seth and a couple guys, who you recognize as fellow players on the Hurricanes. Turning around, you stare at them, wide-eyed in surprise, and as soon as Jarvy takes the sight of you in, he shouts excitedly.
“Oh my god! What are you doing here?!” He yells, running over to you on the couch. Standing, you jump into his arms to hug him tightly, inhaling the musky scent of his cologne, a smell you’ve thought about every day since you got a whiff of it on Christmas.
“My apartment is being worked on and since Daisy and I haven’t had time to see one another very much, she invited me to stay here. I know she said you are back here for a short while, but she said you’d be out.”
“What, not so happy to see me??” He teases, shoving your shoulder playfully once you pull away from the hug. “Yeah, well, the guys and I wanted to go to some bars, but after sitting around we decided to come back here and play video games instead.” He points to the two men behind him, one who has blond hair and piercing blue eyes and one has short brown hair and deep brown eyes.
“This is Jack and Jesperi, or you can call him KK,” he points to the brown-eyed hockey player, who smiles sweetly at you and waves.
“Nice to meet you guys. I can move up to Daisy’s room if you’d prefer the living room. She’s still gone and I don’t know when she’ll be back.”
“Oh no, don’t worry about that!” Jarvy stops you from moving your things. “We’re going to the basement to play, we won’t bother you at all. Unless we have to come back up for snacks and drinks, but we’ll try to keep it down.”
Chuckling softly, you nod and watch as they file into the furnished basement, yelling and shouting as they go. Thankfully, the noise wasn’t too loud to distract you, so you go back to watching your show with no worry.
As the hours tick by and your eyes start growing heavier, you knew you should have headed up to Daisy’s room to get some rest instead of on the couch, although their couch was rather comfy. It was a large sectional, big enough to fit their entire family for movie nights.
You were curled up in one corner of the L-shaped section, under a soft, fuzzy blanket that was keeping you warm. The low lighting that you had set in the living room and with the quiet lull of your comfort TV show was enough to ease you to sleep, though you were unaware.
Suddenly, you are jolting up, your neck feeling slightly sweaty and clammy, your breathing slightly erratic and your eyes trying to adjust back to the bright TV that remained on. Slowly, you become aware of your surroundings and turn to find Seth sitting near you, a worried expression on his face.
“Are you alright?” He wonders, his voice low and calming, not wanting to startle you anymore than he has. “You were mumbling something in your sleep and shaking a little.”
Your hand wipes across your face as you shift your body to sit up a little. Being in the moment, you were finally able to get a really good look at Seth, since earlier you were too taken by the excitement of seeing him and meeting new people.
His hair was long in the back, but on the sides, you could tell that he had recently gotten them shaved down some, but the top section flopped over to hide that area; it was something that was visible when he wore a hat, and it was a look you always liked. His facial hair was newly trimmed, his beard slightly scruffy and his mustache somewhat full.
He was wearing an old Canes t-shirt, the neckline cut off to fit him loosely, and a pair of basketball shorts that were slightly smaller than usual, riding up his leg and showing a small glimpse of the tattoo on his right thigh.
“I-I was having a weird dream,” you murmur, taking a couple deep breaths. Seth moves a little closer, sensing all you needed was some comfort. “What time is it?”
“Around 11:30. Daisy called me and said something came up and she won’t able to make it back tonight. She said she tried calling you but you weren’t answering. Now I see why,” he answers with a lighthearted laugh.
“Yeah, I didn’t mean to fall asleep out here. I should head upstairs.”
Seth thinks for a moment before he holds his hand up, silently telling you to stay put.
“Give me two minutes,” he says before darting off. You sat there, confused as hell as he ran up the stairs, leaving you alone once again.
You quickly text Daisy back, letting her know you had fallen asleep and everything was good, and that you’d see her in the morning, before reaching for the glass of water that had been left untouched for the past few hours and taking a large sip.
Minutes later, Seth comes trudging down the stairs with his comforter and an extra blanket, along with two pillows. He also had a change of clothes for himself, and once he reaches the couch, he piles everything onto the cushions at your feet.
“We’re having a little sleepover,” he states. “My sister ditched you so I’m stepping in. Plus we haven’t spent time together in a long time so we have to make up for it.” He winks and laughs at your shocked face.
“You really don’t have to do this. What about KK and Jack? Aren’t they downstairs?”
“Nope. They left right before you woke up. They’re staying in a hotel nearby so they’re gone for the night. Just you and me.”
After he gets everything set up, he runs off to the bathroom down the hall to change and when he returns in a pair of sweats and a different t-shirt, he sighs heavily and stares down at the couch.
“Okay, so I’ll sleep this way, and you can sleep with your legs out that way so you have more room,” he tells you, waving his hands all over. He specifically pointed to the spot you were sitting in, how he’d have his legs on the cushions jutting out and you would sleep perpendicular to him.
“Where would my pillow go?” You wonder, grabbing onto the extra one he had from his bed. You can’t help but smile at the scent that covers it, a mixture of Seth’s shampoo and conditioner and his cologne. His comforter was the same way, soaked in the smell of his body wash, a woods-y and earthy scent that you were most familiar with, similar to his cologne.
“Here,” he gets situated on the couch, his legs stretching straight out on the cushion. He places the pillow down on his legs and pats it, signaling that’s where you can lay. It was nothing out of the ordinary, really, the three of you used to sleep on each other like this when you were younger, more innocent.
Not that he was asking in an inappropriate way now, but it was something you figured you’d grown out of. But being too tired and too scared to fight, you just laugh it off and get under the covers. He left his comforter for you and used the two blankets for himself, something you found unfair to him.
You place your head in his lap, against the pillow, and immediately, his hands start playing with your hair softly, making sure not to tug at any knots that he couldn’t see. He was more so twirling the ends for his own comfort, something you picked up on when you were kids.
After laying there for a bit, no words spoken between the two of you, the guilt of him being down here, keeping you company was rising in your chest; you knew you shouldn’t have felt this way, but he didn’t have to do all of this.
“Seth, you don’t have to sit down here with me,” you suddenly sit up, looking over at him. A hurt and confused look crosses his face as he adjusts his body.
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to, trust me. I know how you used to struggle with nightmares and no one should be left alone after having one.” His voice is gentle and soothing, trying to get across the fact that he wants to be here with you, and it’s no obligation or issue at all.
“I think I’ll be okay,” you whisper. But he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
“Well I’m not leaving,” he shakes his head. “What’s going on? I thought it would be nice to see each other again and be with one another now that you’re here.”
You pause and let his words sink in. He was right. Why were you pushing back? But with one look into his brown eyes, lit by the soft glow of a nearby salt lamp you had turned on earlier, you were very aware.
You had fallen for Jarvy and now there was no denying it.
You think back to the last time you saw him, in December. You couldn’t quit stealing glances at him throughout the day, watching as he laughed with his loved ones and how bright his unique smile was, how much you loved seeing it and how you longed to be the reason he was smiling so joyfully.
How you longed to hold his hand and cuddle up next to him on the couch, watching whatever Christmas movie was playing on the TV, surrounded by your family and his, having him press kisses to your temple.
It made your chest feel all warm and fuzzy thinking about what being his partner would be like. Was he serious in times when it was needed? Or did he used humor and laughter to cope with everything?
“(Y/N)?” He waves his hand in front of your face, bringing you back down to earth. You sigh softly and grin at him.
“Sorry, was just…thinking about something. But you’re right, it is nice to see you and be able to spend time with just you…” you trail off, hoping the tone of your voice didn’t give your little crush away. He smiles at you and opens his arms.
“So how about we cuddle instead? I’ve been told I give wonderful cuddles in times of need like this,” he states playfully, which in turn makes you giggle. He gives you that bright, wide smile as you move your body, but before you can super comfortable, you motion for him to switch positions and lay parallel with you, so both of your legs were on the actual couch rather than the sectional.
Since the space was big enough, you both fit rather comfortably, once Seth finally gets settled. You curl into his left side, nuzzling your face into chest, your eyes fluttering closed. What you couldn’t tell was the fact that Seth’s heart was racing in his chest at the turn of events.
He’s now under his own comforter, your legs tangling with his underneath. His arms wrap around you, holding you close to him, and one is softly rubbing up and down your back underneath the covers. It’s such a sweet and intimate movement, and it makes your own heart beat faster.
Silence falls over the two of you, neither of you knowing what to say, but instead, you enjoy the silence and the presence of each other.
“Would now be an acceptable time to admit that I’ve had a crush on you for the longest time?” He whispers, avoiding moving in case you wanted to pull away from him. But to his surprise, you stay put, reaching for his right hand that was stroking up and down your arm.
“You have?” You wonder, a little taken aback by his admission, threading your fingers with his. He watches in curiosity but smiles as he feels your touch in his.
“Yeah. Ever since you came home from school that one day in eighth grade, I was in sixth. You said some boy made a comment about you and you cried to me because Daisy wasn’t home yet. I-”
“You started telling me all these strange things about what the kid does and how awful he is to try and get me to laugh,” you fill in his sentence, remembering back to that day as clear as can be.
Seth had started telling you weird things that were very obviously not true, but what else is an eleven year old supposed to say? He was making things up like, “he keeps his boogers on a piece of notebook paper in his binder” or “his fingernails grow so fast he has to have them cut every day, and then he saves them to try and get in the Guinness Book of World Records for most amount of nail shavings collected”. Outrageously ridiculous statements.
But by the end, you were laughing with him, forgetting about all the mean things he said about you, and thanks to Jarvy, feeling better about yourself, even though you knew none of what he was saying was true.
“I know we were never super close the way that you and Daisy are, but I could never deny my crush for you. I expected you to think it was weird, considering I’m her younger brother and that’s all I knew I’d be. But goddamn, seeing you again, especially in such a soft and laid-back setting, it’s reignited that feeling.”
You were truly speechless. You had no idea what to say. He really had a crush on you?
“Then I think it’s fair to admit that I also like you, but pushed it away because I thought you only ever saw me as, well, as your older sister’s best friend, I thought it would be weird. But I like you a lot, Seth.”
His hand drops yours and it comes to rest on the side of your face, gently bringing your chin up to look up at him. His eyes were filled with adoration and tenderness as his hand cupped your cheek, careful with the amount of pressure he was using, letting you know you could push him away at any point still.
“So when was the moment you fell for me?” He asks, that crooked smile threatening to break. Heat rises to your cheeks when you realize you don’t have a story similar to his.
“This past holiday season. When you came home for Christmas, I realized quite a few things, and one of them is I can’t deny that I have feelings for you and wish what it would be like to be yours,” you whisper to him, gazing into his eyes. His thumb rubs against the apple of your cheek as you explain your side. He then takes a moment to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and it sends your heart into a frenzy.
“Oh really?” He pushes in a teasing manner. “Like what?”
“Like falling asleep in your arms, but in a more romantic way than platonic way when we were younger. Being able to come up and hug and kiss you whenever, wearing your jersey to your games, knowing that only you and I know that I’m yours and the most important person in the crowd wearing your number.” He can’t help the blush that dusts his cheeks at your last comment. “And I can assume that’s something you’ve thought about plenty of times, right?”
Seth laughs and nods his head, still looking down at you with so much love.
“I won’t lie, I have. And you’d be able to get a WAG playoff jacket, and how adorable you’d look in them.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest as he continues to hold your cheek in his hand.
“You know, my parents always joked with your parents about when we’d get together. And Daisy always shut them down whenever she heard them talk about it because how weird, right? But there was one night, a few years back, right before I was drafted. We were in the backyard, looking up at the stars, and she told me I should go for it with you, if I liked you. How she thought we’d be good together, how I’d treat you right and how you would love me for as I am. I think she could always sense that I liked you more than a friend, but was too scared to say it because you two were friends first, and pretty close.”
You are stunned by his words. You never knew Daisy said that, but to hear that she thought her brother was good enough for you, you knew that this decision, or whatever outcome for tonight was going to be, it was going to be a good choice.
Seth is a good guy, and you’ve seen this for many years. Now, you are seeing him in a different light, one where his smile sends butterflies to your stomach rather than a simple “Daisy’s younger brother is so adorable” kind of way. One where you got to see the fun and excitable, puppy-dog energy side but also his serious and down-to-earth side where he could settle those feelings and be real with you.
“Now that I think about it, around that time she did start trying to push me for gossip on if I thought you were cute or if I was seeing anyone, because she was wanting to set me up with someone. And I’m going to safely bet that it was you.”
He chuckles and then clears his throat, becoming all serious again. But you have one more comment you need to get out.
“I love your smile,” you state. His cheeks redden slightly and your own smile tugs at your lips. “I’m not sure what it is about it, but every time I saw it in an interview, or some fun little video, and especially at Christmas, I can’t help but fall harder and harder each time.”
Your statement elicits that lovely smile from him, but in a more bashful sense, something you never thought you’d see.
“You’re so adorable,” you giggle, reaching up to hold his face in your hand as well. The tension between the two of you was thick, and with your breathing mixing together, you were starting to get dizzy from it all.
This was all so much.
“Can I…” he starts, but hesitates, trying to gauge the look in your eyes. He takes a deep breath and then continues. “Can I please kiss you now?”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you from how he phrases his words. He sounded so desperate but also so careful.
“Please,” you beg quietly, inching your hands into his hair to tug at the locks at the back of his neck to pull him down towards you. Within seconds, your lips meet in a searing but gentle and nervous kiss, both of you testing the waters for now. But when Seth feels you leaning more into it, he deepens it just slightly, not wanting to go too far tonight, but also wanting you to know he’s serious about this and it wasn’t a one-off thing.
The kiss ends much to your dismay when Jarvy pulls back, his forehead resting against yours.
“Go on a date with me,” he all but demands. This elicits a giggle from you before you kiss him once more.
“Of course I will,” you reply, moving down to cuddle back up with him.
Finally, the two of you were settled in all cozy, no longer on edge and wondering if one thing is going to upset the other. Now that the admission of your feelings was done and over with, the two of you could relax against each other, knowing this meant more than just two friends falling asleep with one another.
With his soft touch running along your back, soothing you to sleep, you were out like a light in minutes, but Jarvy stayed up, watching whatever episode of your show that was on, often looking down at you to make sure you remained asleep.
He fell asleep not long after, the grin on his face remaining there like it was stuck forever, holding the person he loves most in the world, feeling like he was on cloud nine, knowing life could only get better now that you two had admitted your years-worth of pent up feelings
#seth jarvis#seth jarvis imagines#seth jarvis x reader#seth jarvis imagine#seth jarvis fanfic#hockey#hockey fanfic#imagines#fanfiction#fanfic
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So after taking some time to clear my head, and letting the wave of relief and closure wash over me, and feeling like someone literally unclogged my brain, I rewatched season 3 of Young Royals, but only finished just the night before I was going away for Easter weekend, so I didn’t have time to write anything.
But now I can finally say this: I liked it much better the second time.
And it wasn’t just the trepidation and anxiety that i had for finding out what happened in the end that kept me from completely enjoying it the first time. It was also that annoying week-long gap that we had to endure before watching the finale.
(I get that they did it for promotional purposes, and it was a lovely thing to be able to have that event for the final chapter, which obviously could only be one chapter, imagine having everyone there for the entire season, everyone watching for nearly six hours… no good.)
That gap, I feel, made it feel like we just landed randomly on an episode that was meant to tie up all the storylines. And of course it is, and of course it still feels that way in regards to some storylines, but wow, what a difference it makes to watch the whole thing as a whole, the way I’ve enjoyed the previous seasons.
I definitely could process it much better the second time around, watching calmly and carefully, and once I jumped straight from episode 5 into episode 6, it definitely felt more cohesive. It felt like it followed the same pattern as the previous seasons, the conflict at the end of episode 5 is very similar in every season, and it felt right.
And the final episode of each season seems to follow a very similar pattern too, except that it shifts a little each time as Wille gains autonomy. In Season 1, the climax was that Wille had to do what the crown said, on the crown’s terms (deny the video, keep August’s betrayal secret, lose Simon), because he didn’t know what else to do, he didn’t have a choice, sad ending. In season 2, he has to do what the crown says (do the speech, play the part of the Crown Prince), BUT he’s doing it on his own terms (telling the truth about the video, being with Simon, even if it means keeping August’s secret), he has somewhat of a choice, bittersweet ending. In season 3… well, it looks like he’s doing what the crown says still… and then he finally realizes that he does have a choice. Sad ending? Nej! He finally gets his happy ending. He has come to terms that the can have a choice.
The second time around, just when we thought we were getting yet another sad ending or bittersweet ending like the previous seasons, it shifted. Plot twist, he’s getting out of the car. Of course there is a lot up in the air (was your first thought also literally “but Wille, you left your bag in the car! You don’t have a toothbrush! You don’t have a phone charger! You don’t have clean underwear!” or are you normal? I am not normal, I have anxiety about things like that), there are many things that will still need to be resolved after the credits roll, but… it felt right.
And of course there are things that got tied up and still felt a bit quick, and things that felt annoyingly left up in the air, but that was precisely what happened each season, things that felt like maybe would get properly addressed the next season, but that’s not how life works. Not everything gets resolved. And it feels a little sadder or more bitter because we’re not getting another season.
But we are. It’s playing in our heads right now. People are writing fanfiction about it. And I can’t wait to absorb it all.
I’m definitely watching the whole season again, and doing a play-by-play analysis like I did for season 2, because I love hyperanalyzing every detail of this show.
Can I just preliminarily warn that I will be gushing about Edvin and Omar, and Nikita and Frida and Malte, so so much? Because the second time watching season 3, I was in awe, true awe, of how good they have all gotten. I mean, they’ve all been incredible from day one, but I feel like there were nuances to their characters this season that highlighted so much how incredible they all are. Particularly my babies, Edvin and Omar, deserve all the awards. Can’t wait to see everything they do.
I will miss them with all my soul. But I don’t have to let go of them yet.
#young royals#young royals season 3#young royals analysis#yr season 3#yr s3 spoilers#wilmon#wilmon endgame
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Thoughts on the Batch's Ending
Ooookay. This is going to be a long one. (Little note from Steph who just finished writing this: it’s nearly 3000 words…)
Tagging @saturn-sends-hugs @inkstainedhandswithrings and @eriexplosion because I value their thoughts (but I'm also not demanding that you read 3000 words of waffle)
I’ve had a lot of thoughts about the finale of The Bad Batch and honestly, my mind is a bit of a mess right now. One of the things I just want to try and tackle is how I feel about the ending of each Batch member individually, because while I can look at it and say “The Batch got a happy ending!”, I feel like that doesn’t really give me much of an idea of whether or not each character got an ending that I feel is fitting for their story arc.
So, this post is basically just going to be me unpicking the ending for each of the Batchers and working out how I feel about it (aka me trying to unscramble the mass load of thoughts going on in my head right now).
Omega
Overall, I’m very happy with where Omega ended up. When you look back on how she was when we first met her, you realise just how much she has grown over the last few seasons. She didn’t just learn to be a part of the squad, she also learned how to look after herself. It isn’t just a development of her skillset, it’s also a growth in maturity, which allows her to have a clearer head and more rational decisions in the field. While Omega trusted her brothers to come and rescue her, she didn’t just sit around and wait for them, she hatched her own plan to not only get her and the other children out, but also help the Batch when they arrive at Tantiss.
Like Echo, she strongly believes in helping people and I love that that has carried through into her ending. While it would have been nice for her to live a quiet life, free of any more troubles, it makes complete sense for her to want to join the Rebellion. And I think it was at a good time as well. Omega got to spend the rest of her childhood being raised in a more peaceful, safe environment, before making the decision a few years down the line to go her own way. This is her leaving the nest and I think it was tackled incredibly well. You can see how she has taken on attributes from all of her brothers, and judging by her style choice, Phee as well. We see Omega using the support of her brothers to carve her own path and I love that.
Personally, I can’t really see a more fitting development in her story than this. And I’m reluctant to actually call it an ending because for her, this feels more like the beginning of a new chapter. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if we saw her again later down the road.
Hunter
Now those who follow me may be aware that Hunter was never my favourite member of the Batch. I didn’t dislike him, but I never really connected with him in the same way that I connected with all of the other characters. Saying that, it doesn’t mean I haven’t given a lot of thought to him and his character.
Hunter always had a lot on his shoulders. He was the leader of the Batch and that meant keeping a rag-tag group of defective clones in line, but it also left him with the belief that if anything were to happen to his squad, it would be his responsibility. So, with Crosshair and Omega stuck with the Empire, and Tech dead, Hunter had a lot to carry. At the beginning of Season 3 we saw that he had become more reckless and irrational, not really thinking about plans and wanting to jump straight into things. It was Wrecker who had to step in and make sure Hunter didn’t do anything stupid. Hunter felt like he lost control and that took a lot out of him, especially since this is something I think he could feel creeping up on him throughout Season 2, even if he tried to fight it. The Batch had started to make decisions without him, and Omega was forming close attachments to other people, which was digging a knife into Hunter’s fear of losing his squad. So S3 saw him trying everything he could to reunite the Batch, because he couldn’t bear to lose anyone else.
And he achieved that. But what I also deeply appreciate is that we see Hunter accepting that Omega wants to go her own way. This was something he didn’t want happening for a long time, but once he accepted that she was capable of looking after herself, and once he accepted that he could never keep her tied in place forever, he supported Omega in her decision to join the Rebellion. Yes, he will always worry about her. He even tells her that she will always be their kid. But he knows that it’s time for her to carve her own path, and that means for him, finally letting go and accepting that Clone Force 99 will never be what it once was.
Wrecker
Wrecker is an interesting one for me because he’s one of the few characters where I can’t really see a big step for his character in the final episode. For many of the others there is some form of acceptance, or big step in their lives, but for Wrecker I don’t really see that. And unfortunately, I think that comes from Wrecker never really being the focus of any strong character development throughout the history of the show. That’s not to say there wasn’t any growth at all, but when we look at how far everyone else has come in their stories, Wrecker always feels like he never got the same treatment in this show. The biggest growth I saw was when he stepped in to help Hunter when he could see the sergeant was spiralling.
So, while I’m happy he lived and has gone on to enjoy a longer, more peaceful life than we ever expected for the Batch, it makes me sad that we never really saw anything big for Wrecker in this ending. No big acceptance, no huge sacrifice. We don’t even get to see him say goodbye to Omega when she leaves. I love that Wrecker got a happy ending, but I always wish that we had gotten the opportunity to see more of a character arc with him over the course of the entire show.
Crosshair
I accepted a while ago that if any of the Batch members were to survive, Crosshair would be one of them because I didn’t expect the writers to kill him off after everything that he had been through. And thankfully they didn’t! I love that after everything, Crosshair has managed to find peace. Maybe not completely, but enough that he has the chance to live a life that doesn’t involve him being a soldier.
Throughout S2 and S3 we saw Crosshair come to terms with the fact that he was disposable to the Empire and that they didn’t care about him as much as he had made himself believe. And one of the things Crosshair fought with the most was his own identity as a soldier. For so long, he believed that that was all he was, all he could be, so that’s why it has been so amazing finally seeing Crosshair acknowledge that he doesn’t need to be a soldier to still live a life he deserves; his purpose is and always has been more than that.
Saying that, I want to address the hand thing because I am still unsure of where I sit with it. Following his escape from Tantiss, we see Crosshair has developed hand tremors as a result of his PTSD, and a decent chunk of the season has been dedicated to him learning how to live with them. The biggest reason for this affecting Crosshair so much was that it impacted his ability to be a sniper, which is what Crosshair believed to be his main purpose: he didn’t know what to do without the ability to use his hand. And we were given some incredibly sweet scenes between him and Omega as she helped him work out the best way to manage the tremors, for example, them meditating together.
But then that brings me onto my main issue, which is, why remove the hand? One of the reasons I keep seeing is that it removes Crosshair’s ability to be a sniper, but we had already seen that. That’s the issue that the tremors were causing. Crosshair had already been struggling with that ability as a result of what happened to him on Tantiss, so cutting his hand off as a way of preventing his sniping ability seems a bit unnecessary. Now admittedly, the soldier who cut his hand off didn’t know that he had hand tremors, so logistically it makes sense, but as a story tool it seems a bit bizarre to me. Personally, I think it would’ve been more interesting to pursue the idea of Crosshair learning to manage his tremors through meditation etc. and adapting to a life that has less of a focus on sniping.
Another reason I have seen for the hand is that it symbolises Crosshair finally becoming free from the Empire and what they did to him on Tantiss. Him no longer having the tremors indicates that he is no longer burdened by the Empire and his time there. But that doesn’t really work for me either. For one, Crosshair will never truly be separated from what happened to him there; even if he lost the shaking, he would still have a number of psychological issues as a result of what he went though, so I can’t see it as a way of symbolising a true separation. Which is once again why I think that following the story beat of him managing the tremors would have been a more interesting path for them to go down with his character.
Saying that, I’m still happy with where Crosshair’s story went. He is arguably the most complex character in the Batch and I’m so glad we have been able to see him develop the way he has. Him living a long, quiet life is something that I’m happy he has gotten, and I truly don’t think that him dying would have brought nearly as satisfying a conclusion as Crosshair finally finding a new place in the world.
Tech
Oh boy… this is going to be an interesting chunk of this essay. So errm… it turns out Tech is actually dead, which is… kinda shit.
Back when we saw him fall at the end of S2, I said that one of the reasons that I didn’t believe that Tech was really dead was because if he was, I would’ve found the writing kinda cheap. I said repeatedly throughout that season that I didn’t want all of his character development to simply be an emotional manipulation tactic to make us even more sad when he died… which is what it turned out to be. It doesn’t surprise me that Tech sacrificed himself, but it makes me mad that ultimately his death never really had any real impact on anything. I mean, they hardly even addressed it in the final season!
I get that animated Star Wars is known for rarely addressing characters after their deaths, but The Clone Wars focuses on so many characters that if we gave that much attention to every character that died, then we would never progress the plot. However, unlike TCW, The Bad Batch primarily focuses on a smaller group of clones and therefore not only has the space to explore the impacts that death would have on the squad, but really should find it a necessary part of the storytelling. The lack of attention given to Tech throughout this season has been beyond frustrating to me. He deserved better.
And I can’t write a section about Tech’s ending without addressing the CX-2 situation. Were we all delusional for believing that Tech was alive? No. Now before people come at me for saying that, I want to explain why that is the conclusion I have come to. You would have every right to label us delusional if there was absolutely no proof behind the claims that we made, but when the writers give us a character that both speaks and acts like Tech, what did they expect us to think? There were too many parallels between Tech and CX-2 for it to be coincidental and I still stand by the fact that we had reason to believe that they were the same person.
Now, looking at the other CX soldiers we see in the finale, they all seem to parallel the OG members of the Batch: there’s a larger one who primarily focuses on hand-to-hand combat, someone who favours blades, a sniper, and a more tech-savvy one. And I’m sure there is a reason for that, symbolically or practically, but if the fact that they all resemble the Batch is important, then why was so much focus put primarily on CX-2? There was no way we weren’t going to think that they would reveal him to be Tech.
Overall, I’m annoyed. Tech was such a brilliant character and I am so frustrated that not only did he get a death that I felt was kind of cheap, but he didn’t get nearly the respect he should have been given in the final season. Now, I’m not using this as a way to bash the writers, and I definitely don’t think that anyone should use it as an excuse to be bullies, but unfortunately, I can’t be satisfied with the way Tech’s story ended, and I’m not sure I ever will.
Echo
Last but certainly not least, Echo. To say that Echo means a lot to me is an understatement, and I was genuinely terrified that I might have to say goodbye to one of my comfort characters. But thankfully, our boy made it!
Following Season 1, we all wanted for Echo to get some more development. It never felt like he had truly been used to his full potential. And thankfully, Season 2 began to give us that. Yes, we ended up saying goodbye to Echo for half a season, but we saw some incredible growth in his character, and him choosing to join the rebellion made too much sense not to happen. Unfortunately, this also meant that we didn’t get to see Echo for the majority of the final season, but I am beyond grateful that what they gave us in these last few episodes has been some of the best Echo content that we have ever seen. Watching him grow and find where he belongs has been a pleasure to watch, He really is an ARC trooper through and through. Particularly in these last few episodes, seeing how much he has grown to be like Fives, and watching him carry on his brother’s legacy, has been so incredible, No matter what anyone says, I believe that he truly is one of the greatest, and most important characters that we’ve ever gotten out of animated Star Wars.
However, I do have one gripe with Echo’s ending, and it’s the fact that it doesn’t actually feel like a conclusion. If anything, I have more questions about Echo now than I did before the last episode. Echo going to the Rebellion is an absolute given; he still has stuff to help Rex with. But the fact that there is absolutely no mention of him in the epilogue has just made me wonder where he is. Omega mentions Crosshair and Wrecker, and we only see Hunter, so we know that Echo isn’t with them. But we also know that at that point in the story, Echo also isn’t with Rex (assuming we’re in Rebels era). So where is he? What is he doing? Is he actually dead at that point??? I really hope we see more of Echo in the future because if this really is the last time we see his character, it’s too open ended for me to really be satisfied with it.
But if I’m being honest, I really don’t think that this is the last time that we are going to see him. And especially with Omega joining the Rebellion, I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw another clone-centric show following these characters in the future.
Concluding Thoughts
All in all, my thoughts are still a bit jumbled. I still don’t know how I truly feel about everything, but hopefully this post at least gives some insight into how I think each character’s endings were handled. Will I change my mind at some point? Probably. But for now, this is where I stand.
At its core, I think the ending we got makes sense for a lot of the characters, and I’m glad that they didn’t all just die at the end. Sure, there are choices that I’m not happy with, but seeing that some of the Batch go on to live long lives is something that I’m very happy to see. It doesn’t happen enough in animated SW, so I’m glad we got to experience it.
#Star Wars#the bad batch#the bad batch season 3#the bad batch spoilers#tbb spoilers#tbb omega#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb tech#tbb echo
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YOUR BRIAN QUINN X READER ONESHOT WAS SO GOOD, HELLO?? Anyways, I was wondering if it was possibly to do a Q x Gender Neutral reader? Nothing fancy but maybe and established relationship and some fluff y'know?
THANK YOU????? OMG?????????? Anyway I think I'm gonna try to write in a more Gender Neutral friendly way anyway for one shots, everyone deserves to fantasize about their celebrity crushes <3 Hope y'all enjoy!!
Movie Night (Brian “Q” Quinn x GN!Reader)
Summary: Q is late from filming. Again. But you could never stay mad at him, it's almost impossible. Slight angst-ish??? But overall fluff!
As I finish washing the dishes, I can't help but shut the door to the dishwasher with a swift thud, causing some of the dishes inside to rattle. My lungs fill slowly then release the air in huff as I look at the clock to the microwave: 11:23 pm. I can feel my heart drop with every minute that passes across the face of every clock in our house. Q was late, again. But this time, it hurt just a little bit more.For the past month, Brian’s been staying later on set, whether it was to catch up on busy work or to simply squeeze in some quality time with his friends. At first, I really didn’t mind; I knew what I signed up for when it came to dating someone who has their own tv show. However, one hour late becomes three hours late and I end up waiting by the phone in bed for a “coming home” text from him. He still cares, I know that at least. There’s been a lot of morning coffee talks about my feelings and I know he had his full attention on me and my new worries. He suggested that the next night he’ll get home as soon as he can and we can have a cozy movie night in. It was such a simple idea but I couldn’t help but feel a comfort wash over me. I had set up our living room with warm blankets, lavender scented candles and popcorn that’s lost its heat. The screen of our TV was on a selection of movies I picked out for the night, but it’s been replaced with the scrolling Roku cityscape. Now as I find myself trying to distract myself with any busy work in the house, the soft fuzzies I had for this plan have been replaced with anger. Before I was about to pull out a broom from our pantry to start sweeping, I heard the locks of the door move around. Most days this was music to my ears but right now it was nails on a chalkboard. I wait for the door to open then close behind him; I don’t need the neighbors to hear me chew this man out. “You are…” I glance at the clock on the microwave again and do some mental math before continuing my sentence. “Three hours and 30 minutes late, give or take.” I inform him, my voice calm but laced with ice. I close the door to the pantry and start to walk toward the entryway, my tone shifting to release the pent up frustration from the hours. “Really, Brian, I get you work hard and can’t always text me but you can’t-”
As I turn the corner to look at him, the first thing that catches my eyes are the flowers. They’re classic roses, a flower I enjoy because it’s safe for our cats. The next thing I see is the plastic bag in his other hand, stacks of styrofoam boxes inside. I recognized the smell instantly as one of my favorites from a local restaurant nearby Q and I had our first date at. There was a second bag, this one from the grocery store down the street; I could see from the top of it a bag of one of my favorite sweets and a pint of ice cream clinging to the bottom of the bag. Brian’s face is what I noticed last, and it nearly broke my heart. His eyebrows were together and his eyes filled with anxiety. The confidence he usually carries about him is dissipated, as if it was gone for the season. I didn’t want to immediately forgive him, but seeing him so worried about receiving my disapproval almost made all of my anger vanish.
“Baby, I know.” Q finally manages to find his words. “I’m late, but I promise I didn’t mean it. I really wanted to get home on time but the producers were up my ass about some final details for the season.” He walks towards me, as if he’s holding out his hand to pet a snarling dog. I didn’t let my expression soften yet; I wanted to see just how much he was willing to put into this little apology.“You couldn’t call?” I ask, finding an excuse to let my anger be for more than nothing for a second longer. My eyes try to stay off the gifts, not wanting to put my guard down just yet. “I wanted to, I promise. But once I realized I was still there at 9 I couldn’t think of anything but rushing around to get ya all this.” His broad shoulders raise, motioning to everything in his arms. I can’t help but imagine myself there instead. “I guess trying to make it up to you worsened the damage, I’m sorry. He notices me looking at the ground, avoiding his eye contact. His confidence was returning; he knew I didn’t want to be mad at him, and he knew exactly how to fix it. He gently lays the bags onto the ground and walks over to me, placing the bouquet onto the end table next to us. His arms now vacant, Q’s places his hands onto my cheeks, gently tilting my head up to meet his. His eyes had that special glimmer of softness to them, one I’ve only noticed when he looks at me. I pursed my lips slightly, trying to keep a serious nature to my face, but the mask was slipping. And he knows it. A small smirk creeps up onto his face, his facial hair framing his smile perfectly. At times like this, I hated how gorgeous his eyes were. “I’ll let you pick the movie.” he teases, his lips forming a real smile. I can’t fight the gentle smile that appears on my face as he leans down to give me a gentle kiss onto my forehead. My hands snake their way around Q’s waist and I tilt my head up to place a chaste kiss onto Q’s cheek, a white flag in this battle that’s only transpired in my head. “You’re too good at diffusing my anger, you know that?” I ask, moving one of my hands to his face, the fuzz of his beard scraping against my palm. He smiles back at me. “I hate seeing you angry with me, Sweetheart, I gotta do what I can to fix it.” He breaks away from our embrace and grabs the bags he carried into our home. “Look, you go relax in our living room that you worked so hard to make all cozy and I’ll get these roses in a vase for you and get our dinner situated, don’t you do another chore, baby!” I smile at him walking to our couch and sit down, getting myself comfortable with the blankets and pillows. I watch as Q puts the ice cream away and fills a vase with water, looking at his phone from time to time about how to properly prepare flowers for a vase. Watching him try so hard to salvage this night made every angry thought I had 30 minutes ago seem so irrational. I wondered how I could ever be angry at the man who fills my heart with so much adoration and makes my world more colorful. In about 5 minutes, he shuffles into our living room area placing down the containers of our dinner onto the glass coffee table and lays a couple bags of snacks on the floor by our feet. From muscle memory, I cuddle into him putting my head onto his chest and then feel his arm wrap around my shoulders. He gives me a kiss on the top of my head as I take in his scent and I couldn’t describe it as any more than just “home”.
At this moment, I understand now that I wasn’t mad at Q, I was really having withdrawal symptoms of him. Getting my fix of my beloved set everything right in my world, and it felt as if anger wasn’t a feeling, but a distant memory.
#impractical jokers#impractical jokers fanfiction#brian quinn x you#brian quinn#Q Impractical Jokers#brian quinn x reader#brian q quinn#fanfiction#fanfic#fluff
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would’ve, could’ve, should’ve been | dean winchester
PAIRING — dean winchester x fem!reader
SUMMARY — you seem to have the perfect life with dean, but nothing good ever happens to you, so why should this?
WARNINGS — fluff, angst, anxiety, derealization, pregnancy, miscarriage mentions, blood & self-harm/suicide depictions, injury
WORD COUNT — 3,764
NOTES — this is all i’ve been thinking about for like a week. also TAKE THE WARNINGS SERIOUSLY THIS IS AN EMOTIONALLY HEAVY FIC | btw most of this takes place in season 2 or 3, and season 6 or so at the end
masterlist | navigation
This bed is too comfortable. Too warm. But you didn’t care, because it was the best sleep you’d gotten in years. You forced yourself to keep your eyes closed, to soak in the comfort that hardly ever came with your lifestyle.
Warm lips pressed against your temple, the pressure of someone else in the bed shifting your body ever-so-slightly. That was what forced you to peel your eyes open.
You stretched your arms, taking a deep breath in and locking eyes with… Dean. Your comfort quickly turned to shock and confusion, and judging by the look that formed on his features, your face showed how you felt.
“Well, good morning to you too, sunshine.” He said, and the smile you fell in love with melted onto his lips.
“Morning,” you sighed. Something about all of this felt off, but you couldn’t place it. Everything else about your reality felt entirely normal, so you felt the only thing to do was brush it off entirely. “What time is it?”
Dean, who was leaning over you with one arm on either side of your head, craned his neck to the side. “Almost 9. I’ve got some grub ready for you downstairs, if you can handle it this morning.” He smiled, and you couldn’t help but smile back.
“Let me guess, is it a pile of bacon and some eggs?”
“With toast,” Dean defended, and moved back as you pushed yourself into a sitting position.
As your feet touched the floor, Dean headed toward the bedroom door. “I’ll be down in a few, okay?”
Once Dean was out of sight, things began to feel odd again. You still couldn’t place the feeling, but it churned your stomach. Still, you did your best to push the feeling aside and headed to the bathroom. It was in there, as you brushed your teeth, that you saw the glint in the mirror — a ring, placed delicately on your left ring finger. The band was thin, the jewels were small, but it looked absolutely stunning.
Were you and Dean engaged?
The second the thought came to mind, you nearly laughed. Of course, you were engaged, why else would you be wearing a ring? And besides, it’s not as though it should be a surprise, you’d been engaged for almost two years now, and together for much longer.
After you were done in the bathroom, you browsed both the closet and dresser for something to wear, but none of your clothes felt right. There was little flannel — or jeans for that matter — and all the comfortable t-shirts belonged to Dean. You ended up choosing one of his old, plain shirts and a pair of jeans that felt a little too tight around the waist.
You followed the nearly-overwhelming scent of bacon downstairs and into the kitchen, where you found Dean plating everything up for the both of you at the table.
“Come get it while it’s hot, babe,” he smirked, setting the plates in their spots across from one another.
Breakfast was pretty silent, but you were starving. Pretty much the only thing you could think about was eating what was in front of you — including the bowl of poorly cut up fruit next to your plate. Just as you were finishing up whatever bacon you had, Dean let out a low whistle. You paused, mid-chew, and looked up at him. “What?”
“Well, I’ve just never seen you eat like that before,” Dean commented. “Guess I should expect things to start changing or whatever, but yesterday you damn near threw up at the smell of bacon, sweetheart.”
Why would that have made you nauseous in the first place? “What can I say, I’m a hungry woman,” you shrugged, and a thought came to mind. “Where’s Sam?”
Dean seemed caught off guard by your question. “Sam? He’s… in California, Y/n. He won’t be here until later tonight. Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” You took a sip from the cup of orange juice in front of you. God, you could use a coffee.
“Nothing, I just- I know the doctor said brain fog would be normal, but I didn’t expect it to be this early.”
Your eyebrows furrowed as you stood, heading to the coffee pot to pour yourself some. You don’t know why Dean didn’t, especially considering he knew how much you loved it. “I’m fine, Dean, don’t worry. Just a little tired, is all.”
By the time you poured yourself a cup and it was halfway to your lips, Dean was at your side, pulling it from your hands. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Dean, seriously, what the hell are you up to? I’m just having a cup of coffee, jesus.”
“Were we not at the same doctor’s appointment last week?” Dean asked, dumping the cup down the sink. “She said no caffeine, period. Better to not take risks with the baby, all things considered.”
Baby? What baby?
Your mind reeled at Dean’s words for a few moments, confusion filling you to the brim. You weren’t pregnant. Right? You didn’t look or feel pregnant. Did you? Then, in an instant, your mind felt crammed with memories. Taking the test, sharing it with Dean, the doctor’s appointment. It rushed you all at once, but it felt… fake.
Sharp pain shot through your temples, and you pressed the heel of your palm to your forehead, catching your fiance’s attention. “Are you feeling okay, babe?”
“Yeah, no, I’m fine. Just a headache. I’ll be okay.” You assured him, removing your hand from your head and placing it on his shoulder. “I’m gonna go get some rest, okay?”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’ll call mom, let her know tonight’s off.”
“No, no. I should be fine for tonight, don’t worry about it. I think I just need to rest.” After you got Dean to agree, you wracked your brain for what possibly could be going on tonight. Then, suddenly, you remembered. Dean’s birthday dinner. Of course. You and Mary had been planning it for weeks now. It was less fancy than the birthdays you recalled Mary having, with just a nice, home cooked meal and a cake and pie from Dean’s favourite place in town.
In fact, you were supposed to go help her with that today. However, you decided that maybe a small nap would be fine, since you didn’t need to go anywhere until after 12 o’clock.
If it weren’t for Dean waking you up again, there was a high chance you would’ve slept through the whole day. Both of you had things to do outside the house, so you got ready and left in tandem, a blissful, domestic peace settling over your house.
That is, until you saw the vehicles in the driveway. The old, black, Toyota Tacoma made sense, since it was yours, but the sedan — Dean’s sedan — didn’t.
“Where’s the Impala?” You asked, heading down the porch steps.
Dean glanced back at you, that all-too familiar face of confusion looking at you. “I got rid of it when we got the house, remember? You and mom said it was too loud to be in a quiet neighbourhood, so I traded it in.”
You hummed with a nod, your chest feeling a little heavy. You loved that car; Dean loved that car. The sedan was nice, but the Impala, she was a beauty. Dismissing it, you hopped into your truck and backed out of the driveway, the route to the bakery coming to you like riding a bike as you sang along to the cd mix you left in the console last week.
Once both the cake and pie were paid for and secured in the passenger seat, you headed back to the house to get ready for the dinner. Dean was still out, grocery shopping you presumed, due to the lack of ingredients in the fridge.
It took you nearly an hour, between your makeup and trying to find a dress that looked good on you and still fit. It still felt weird to you; the fact that you were pregnant. It’s not something you ever recalled truly wanting, not to mention something you ever really discussed with Dean. You still felt like your normal self. No nausea or mood swings, and definitely no cravings or aversions. You didn’t even feel bloated, even if your clothes said otherwise. It was like there was no pregnancy to begin with.
Still, you found a suitable outfit and made your way over to Mary’s, where she was already starting on the dinner you were helping her cook. Aside from her oddly watchful eye, you were grateful for the time you got to spend with just her. Time with Mary passed like nothing, and before you knew it, Dean was bringing Sam and Jess into the house, and dinner was practically done.
You greeted everyone happily, still wearing the apron Mary wrapped you in to keep your clothes protected. Sam and Jess looked happy, and for a moment, as you took Jess’ hand, you were flashed with images of Sam, sobbing at her grave. It overtook you, overwhelmed you, and shook you to your core. So much so that when you came back to the present, everyone was looking at you.
“Sorry,” you muttered, trying to put a smile on and untying your apron. “I’m just not feeling too well, I’ll be back in a second,”
You barely managed to toss the apron over the bannister as you headed for the upstairs bathroom. The door flung open and shut, and your back was pressed against it, the lock clicking, sealing you in to calm down. You tried to keep your eyes closed, but they kept flashing with those images. Jess’ grave, Sam’s tears. Jess, poor, lovely Jess, pinned to the ceiling with blood soaking her nightdress. Sam’s fear, the flames, you and Dean pulling him away.
What’s gotten into you?
After taking a few deep breaths, you finally got rid of those haunting images, and joined everyone in the dining room. Dean was sitting at the head of the table, with Sam and Jess on one side, and an empty seat on the other. You took that one, which was next to Mary.
“Are you okay, honey?” She asked, plating up mashed potatoes for everyone. “You were up there a while,”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You nodded, taking Dean’s hand. “I just… I think I’m coming down with something. Just needed a second, is all.”
Dinner passed smoothly, with comfortable chatter and laughter, reminiscing and recalling memories. You were bringing up things you didn’t even remember, but everything felt so natural and peaceful that you barely thought twice about it.
Just before cake and pie, the conversation quieted down, and Dean cleared his throat. He gave you a look, and you knew what he was going to do.
“I know it’s my birthday, but while we’re all here, Y/n and I have something we want to tell you,” Dean started, an uncontrollable smile on his face. It made you fall in love with him all over again.
Sam, Jess, and Mary’s voices overlapped as they berated you all with questions, their enthusiasm making you giggle.
“Okay, okay, we might as well just say it, right?” You asked your fiance, and he nodded. “We’re pregnant!”
The table erupted with cheers. Everyone stood up, and the next few minutes were a flurry of hugs and congratulations. Questions were asked and answered, and the joy was overwhelmingly felt.
When everything calmed, Dean mentioned, “I’m honestly surprised we got through dinner before announcing it. Between our excitement and Y/n’s nausea, I figured it would’ve slipped before we were halfway done.”
Your stomach churned at his comment, and you realised that he was right. You’d prepared and eaten all this food, and not once did you have any aversions or nausea, despite recalling the fact that you threw up at the smell of steak only a few days ago.
“Yeah, well, I guess I developed an iron stomach just for you, babe.” You smiled, just as Mary brought out the desserts.
The rest of the night went off without a hitch. After desserts, you found yourself sitting with everyone in the living room, talking endlessly about how exciting everything was. Jess and Sam’s wedding, the baby, all of it. Mary even shared some of the stories she recalled from when the boys were little.
Dean stuck to your side the whole night, an arm around your shoulders. The whole scene, every moment, brought you comfort and peace, one you feel like you haven’t had in years, even if this was just what your life was like.
You drove home after Sam and Jess turned in, and it didn’t take long after you got home for the two of you to fall into bed, into a warm and safe cocoon made up of Dean and the duvet. You were utterly at peace.
But the peace didn’t follow you into your dreams.
Your subconscious became filled with the most sickening sights. Weapons, fights, death and destruction. And blood. Covering every inch of your skin, splattering and dripping and staining. And none of it was yours. The image of Jess returned, and so did Dean. More gruff, hardened, and scarier than you’ve ever seen him. Sam, tortured and fighting himself. Motels and bars and Baby, and then nothing. Emptiness, loneliness, hunt after hunt by yourself. No Dean, no Sam, no family. Then the warehouse. People strung up to die. The glow of blue magic, then nothing.
Waking up felt like being pulled out from underwater. Dean was nowhere to be found, but you were met with the sun-filled room you fell asleep in. An unsettling feeling settled in your chest, like something was wrong. This time, you couldn’t shake it.
You assumed, after getting ready and pacing around the house so much that you burned off your breakfast and made a second one, that the feeling must be from being alone. After all, you only felt this way yesterday when no one else was in your presence.
Since Dean had taken Sam and Jess house hunting for the day, something they planned weeks ago, you figured going to Mary would be best. After all, you didn’t know a thing about pregnancy, and she’d been through two. Maybe she could help. Maybe what you were feeling was just sudden anxiety about the baby now that people knew (even if you feel like you didn’t know until yesterday, even if you feel like you’re not even pregnant).
When you arrived, she was making herself some lunch, which she graciously offered to you and you accepted. The house was quiet now, and you wondered how she dealt with the silence all the time.
As you were finishing your sandwiches, Mary cleared her throat.
“Not that I don’t love your company, darling, but is there a reason you stopped by?”
You stopped chewing for a moment. Placing the remnants of your sandwich back on the plate, you swiped your hands on your jeans and took a swig of water. “Yes, actually, there is.” You took a breath, and forced the words. “I feel… off. I don’t know what it is, if it’s because of the baby, or,” you almost couldn’t say the word. It was like you were in a permanent state of denial. “I just… don’t feel okay. It’s like something’s wrong, but I can’t place it. But I only feel it when I’m alone.”
Mary seemed to think on her words for a while, before reaching over and placing a hand over yours. “Considering what you’ve been through, it’s totally normal to feel how you do. I mean, you and Dean went through a lot. Between the miscarriage and the break up, feeling like something’s wrong is probably just anxiety from last time. I’m sure if you talk to Dean about it he can help. He was such a wreck for so long.”
You pulled your hand away from Mary’s, as though her touch burned. You had no idea what she was talking about. Miscarriage? Breakup? You’d never been pregnant before. You didn’t even feel pregnant now.
You tried to think back, to reach into the back of your mind to try and pull forward these supposed memories, but all it did was give you a headache. Your temples throbbed as you pushed yourself. Then, like the breaking of a dam, everything flooded into your head.
The hunts, the lifestyle, the memories. You were right, you’d never been pregnant. This was not your life. This was a mockery of what was, a possibility of what could’ve been if the world hadn’t been so cruel, if fate and stubbornness hadn’t driven you to be alone.
The djinn was smart. It was skilled, its magic refined. You knew going after it alone was a mistake, but there was no one else you could go to. All your hunting friends were busy, and the Winchesters had become nothing but a painful mark on your soul; a memory too painful to relive, and too fond to forget. It took over you, subdued you, strung you up to die.
You knew the way out. Die here, and live there, or live here and die there. It was a no-brainer. If it weren’t for the fact that you had Dean. If it weren’t for the fact that Jess was alive, that Sam was happy. That Mary got to see her sons grow up. If it weren’t for the fact that things are normal.
Somehow, you managed to excuse yourself from Mary, thank her for the food and advice, and drive yourself home. You spent what felt like hours staring at yourself in the mirror that hung above the sink, splashing water in your face and thinking. If you didn’t do something, you’d die out there, in the real world. But the real world sucked. You were alone. Every day was a struggle, especially with the things you’ve seen, the things you’ve done. The real you had regrets, big ones. The real you didn’t know how she kept getting out of those cheap motel beds every day.
This version of you is happy. This you had regrets, but none as big, as ugly, as the real you. This you had a job, a house, a life, and a family. This you had Dean, and he alone almost made it worth it.
But it wasn’t enough. You knew it wasn’t enough.
So, you walked through the bedroom, down the stairs, and through your house, soaked in the setting sunlight. It felt like a death march. It was a death march; and its destination was the kitchen.
You stood at the counter with limbs filled with lead, with a looming fear. There was nothing to be scared of, really. It would just be the pain, and then you’d wake up. Everything would be fine.
But your hand still shook as you reached for the biggest knife in the block.
And it shook as the tip pressed into your stomach.
And then the door opened, and Dean called out to you, lovingly. He rambled on as he approached, talking about how he thought Sam and Jess found the perfect house - just a few streets away, he claimed, so close to you both, where you could build lives together.
You turned, knife still touching your skin, shaking and at the brink of tears, when he walked into the kitchen. You watched the joy within him turn to fear, and your heart broke.
“Y/n what are you doing-” he said, stepping closer.
“Don’t!” You shouted. He froze in place. Your shaking became uncontrollable. “Don’t come any closer.”
“What’s going on, Y/n?” He asked, and all you could hear was fear in his voice. “Just- just put the knife down, we can talk about this.”
You shook your head, and tears filled your vision. “No, we can’t. This isn’t real. None of it’s real, it doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it is. This is real, I’m real, okay?”
“No, you aren’t!” You screamed. “You’re Dean, I know that, but you’re not the Dean I love. You’re the Dean I wish I could’ve been with. This life, it’s perfect, and I wish it was mine, but it’s not. It’s just a stupid dream, and if I stay here I’ll die.”
“You’re not making any sense, babe. Just put down the knife, and I swear, I can help you.”
You sniffed, letting the tears fall. “God, I wish you could. I wish I could stay with you, Dean. You’re perfect, and I love you so much. I’m sorry.”
And within seconds, hot pain flooded your stomach as you buried the knife in your abdomen. Dean rushed to you as you pulled it back out, tears flowing down both your cheeks. He caught you as you stumbled, and guided you to the ground, into his lap.
The only thing you could retain was his hand on your wound, his cries for help, and grabbing his hand one last time, comforted by his skin touching yours as everything slipped away.
This position was far too uncomfortable. You tried to move, to stretch out, but something was stopping you. The air was cold around you, and your muscles were aching and tired. Something reached up to you, brushed the hair from your face.
You groaned as your arms dropped and something — someone — caught you. Through the muck you felt like your mind was swimming in, you remembered what happened. The djinn strung you up. But who was cutting you down?
Again, your hair was gently brushed from your face, and suddenly at the back of your neck and knees there was a pressure. You could hear voices around you, low and rumbling. They sounded panicked. Familiar. Safe.
A million thoughts ran through your head all at once, all of them rushing to the same conclusion. Open your eyes.
Emerald green, pale and comforting and worried, stared back at you, flooded with relief that you were alive. They were a stark contrast to what you had seen moments ago; the same eyes, though a little younger, filled with grief and pain and tears.
“Dean,” you rasped, and you could’ve sworn he smiled at you.
“Hey, princess,” you haven’t heard him call you that in years, “we’ve got you. Don’t worry. Me and Sammy, we- we killed the djinn. You’ll be okay.”
And, somehow, you believed him. You didn’t know how, or when, but you’d be okay.
permanent taglist: @mazerunnerrose @theboldandthebootyful @miraclesoflove @heliads
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#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#dean winchester x y/n#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester angst#major character death#suicide tw#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural x reader
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lucky number four - lando norris (part 2 to his champion)
pairings: lando norris x fem!footballer!reader
warnings: slight mention of summit and plenty of fluff
author’s note: FINALLY FINISHED, sorry it took so long guys. gonna try and create a master list so they’re easier to find. leave any requests in the comments and BIG thanks to @blueanfield for the shoey idea <3
part 1 - https://www.tumblr.com/grantgustluv/724584150120693760/his-champion-lando-norris
y/n had been there for Lando throughout his full career, and knew how much it meant to him whenever he did well in a race. The next race was the British Grand Prix at Silverstone. It was one of Lando’s favourite races and he had always dreamed of standing at the top of the podium after winning P1 in his home country.
Lando wished that y/n could be here with him for this race, but he knew that the World Cup was coming up and she couldn’t miss the training in preparation for this. Ever since he entered the sport, he always did better with her support, but he knew he had to make do with FaceTime calls and good luck messages.
~
“Are you sure I can definitely take this time off?” y/n asked Sarina, Wiegman her manager. Sarina sighed, “of course you can, I’ve told you a million times now that I’m completely fine with it,” she jokingly rolled her eyes at her “in fact if you ask me one more time I’ll change my mind, so get yourself out of here and go and support him!” y/n looked at her with a wide smile and rushed out the room, mumbling a quick “see you next week” as she left.
When she had got home, y/n quickly checked through her luggage, making sure she had everything she needed for the weekend, put everything in the car and started her journey to where Lando was staying before the race.
~
It was the night before the race and Lando was pacing around his hotel room with mixed emotions flying around his head. He had done extremely well in qualifying and had managed to score P2 ready for tomorrow’s race, this meant that for Lando there was added pressure to do well, especially because he was starting front row. He was also thinking about y/n, he hadn’t seen her in nearly 3 weeks, apart from their morning and before bed facetimes everyday. Lando and y/n had a lot coming up, Lando was in the middle of the season, y/n was heading off to Australia for the World Cup and their wedding was 4 months away.
Lando’s thoughts were interrupted by a light knocking at the door, and as he opened it he nearly dropped to his knees and started sobbing at the sight. At the door was his y/n, she was really here, he couldn’t believe it. Without a second thought, he threw her bags inside the room, grabbed her, kicked the door closed with his foot and held her tight to his chest, breathing a sigh of relief at finally having her back in his arms.
“What are you doing here?” he mumbled, nuzzling himself further into the crook of her neck. Grabbing a handful of his hair, she gently lifted his face out of her neck and held it in her hands, caressing his cheeks softly. “Thought I’d come and support Lewis”, she said, jumping slightly when he squeezed her sides in response to her playful comment. “You better not be” he replied with a playful glare. “Of course not Lan, I’ve come to support my handsome fiancé” she said with a grin and gave his lips a quick peck. Lando could only look down at her with pure adoration in his eyes, “I can’t wait to be your husband baby, I’m so lucky to have you,” a faint pink dusted her cheeks as she responded “and I can’t wait to be your wife sweetheart, just you and me forever.”
~
It was finally race day and to say Lando was nervous was an understatement. He never usually got nervous before races but with this being his home race and him doing so well in qualifying, it meant that expectations of him were high. He was snapped out of his slight panic by a set of familiar arms wrapping themselves around his waist. He leaned back into her embrace and let out a breath. “Everything okay darling?” she asked calmly, knowing that he could sometimes get himself worked up before races. He turned himself around in her arms and held her to his chest tightly. “Just nervous” he replied, immediately relaxing, finding comfort in her arms. “I know you are, but you’ll smash it, I’ve got so much faith in you” she said as she removed her face from his chest and looked up at him, only to be met by his love struck gaze staring right back at her. Suddenly, a playful glint shone in Lando’s eyes, “what do I get if I win?” he asked with a smirk on his face. y/n rolled her eyes jokingly “I don’t know what do you want?” she asked hesitantly, knowing that he could take this anywhere. “One thing quickly, do you promise that whatever I say, you definitely have to do?” He asked. She narrowed her eyes at him and then sighed when he gave her his puppy look “I promise.” “Pinky promise?” He asked. “Pinky promise,” she responded with a small smile on her lips, interlinking their pinkies, holding their thumbs together and then kissing their touching thumbs one at a time. He was quiet for a moment, wondering to himself what he could possibly ask for as a reward if he won the race.
y/n saw the lightbulb moment appear and a cheeky look come over his face, and with a sigh asked “oh god, what is it?” Lando just chuckled at her expression and before he could open his mouth, an arm found its way around his shoulders. “What ya talking about love birds?” Daniel asked with a teasing smile. “He was just about to tell me what he wants if he wins the race today” she responded to the Australian man. Daniel’s head spun round to face Lando, “what makes you think you’ll win today?” he questioned jokingly. y/n then watched as Lando whispered something in Daniel’s ear, she panicked as she then witnessed Daniel’s whole face light up at whatever Lando just said to him. “Oh god, please tell me what it is?” she begged. Both Lando and Daniel turned to her with large smirks on their face. Lando took a step forward, “I want you to do a shoey if I win.”
The shoey had been a joke within the relationship since Daniel had joined McLaren. He had tried to convince Lando to do it on multiple occasions and had even tried to get y/n to do one but she refused. Lando was adamant at first that he would never do it, but then obviously, as y/n believes, Lando must’ve been bribed by Daniel because he eventually did it.
“No no no no no way” she said with a look of disgust on her face. “Ah ah ah, you pinky promised” Lando quickly responded matter of factly. y/n was lost for words “I-I’m not,” she stuttered. She looked over at Daniel for help, but he just held his hands up and said “don’t look at me, I wanna see you do it, plus you can’t break a pinky promise” She looked at her feet and then looked back up at Lando, “are you sure there isn’t anything else you want me to do?” She questioned sweetly. “That look isn’t going to work on me now baby, you’re doing this, you promised,” he said as he grinned down at her. The interaction was interrupted by Daniel saying that he had to go and get ready for the race. Lando bid farewell to the Aussie driver before turning back to face y/n who was looking up at him with a pout on her face. He brought her into his chest and held her tightly, breathing a sigh of relief as her arms wrapped tightly around him. “Good luck sweetheart,” she mumbled into his chest. Lando released her and gently held her face in his hands, “I love you baby” he said before connecting his lips to hers. After a few seconds they pulled away and looked into each others eyes before y/n leaned up to kiss the end of Lando’s nose and said, “I love you too Lan, go smash it my boy.”
~
He’d done it, he’d won his home race. Cheers echoed around the McLaren garage and in the crowd. After parking in the number one spot, Lando jumped out of his car and ran straight over to her, leaning over the barrier and pulling her into him, crashing their lips together in a passionate kiss. “My champion,” she mumbled against his lips, causing him to pull away and grin down at her with a faint blush covering his cheeks. “It’s because my lucky charm was here,” he stated proudly holding her face and kissing the tip of her nose gently.
“And your winner of the British Grand Prix, number 4, Lando Norris” boomed out the speakers whilst she looked up at Lando proudly as he made his way onto the top of the podium. He grinned down at her before kissing the number “4” he had tattooed on his wrist and holding up a love heart towards her. y/n gazed up at him lovingly, before copying his movements, kissing her matching tattoo then holding up a love heart.
~
Time skip a month to the women’s World Cup final 2023
She’d done it, England had done it. They had won the Women’s World Cup 2023. She looked up in the stands at her biggest supporter staring right back down at her. Lando was wearing the biggest smile and had tears streaming down his face. He knew how much this meant to her and he was so incredibly proud.
Before they knew it, the celebrations had started and champagne was being sprayed over all the players by the staff. The players’ families and friends had started to make their way down to the pitch to congratulate the players and like the euros, Lando was accompanied by some of his fellow drivers who wanted to come and support her in the final. Before any of her family and friends got the chance, Lando had already ran up to her and they had crashed into each others’ open arms. Holding onto each other tighter than ever and whispering words of love into one another’s necks. Lando pulled away and gave her a sweet kiss before holding her face in his hands, “I’m so proud of you baby, you’re my champion again” he said with tears still streaming down his face, causing her to giggle. “It must just be our number 4, it’s lucky” she teased with tears and love in her eyes as she gazed up at her soulmate.
Suddenly, Lando perked up, “do you remember that promise we made before the British Grand Prix?” he asked. Confusion flashed through her eyes, “what promi- oh no, not that promise!” she said with slight panic in her voice. “You pinky promised baby and now is the perfect chance to do it,” he told her as he giggled at her pained expression at the reminder of the ridiculous promise she had made to him.
y/n turned around to grab a bottle of champagne and Lando stood shocked for a while as he saw her starting to take of one of her boots, quickly snapping back into reality when he was asked to hold it for her. She poured the liquid into her boot before shouting over to Daniel, “Hey Danny, this is the one time this is happening, so you better not miss it!” Daniel stood there with a similar expression to Lando’s shocked one before quickly grinning and cheering her on. She raised the heel of the boot to her mouth before swallowing the liquid falling from her shoe. As she removed the boot from her mouth, she was met with Daniel’s phone in her face probably filming the whole thing and a look of pure disgust from Charles who had made it clear to her many times that as much as Lando asked him to, he would never participate in doing a shoey.
She turned to Lando, who sported a proud smirk on his face. Pulling her into his chest, he mumbled into her ear “that was really hot,” causing her to blush but look at him with questioning look. “Whatever floats your boat baby, might do it more often if this is how you and little Lando react” she teased, smirking up at him. “How dare you call it little, you know full well that it-“ Lando started before she slapped her hand over his mouth, stopping him from finishing that sentence and ultimately exposing their sex lives to her family and their friends.
~
It was the day after the final and Lando and y/n were sat watching the sunset peacefully. Lando interlinked their fingers before gazing at the engagement ring glistening in the early morning sun on her hand. “What about if we do it next week?” he asked nervously. “Do what? The wedding?” she responded. Lando sighed, brushing his other hand through his hair before pulling her to straddle his lap so they were face to face, “Yeah, I mean, neither of us want a big wedding, it can just be small with family and friends, we can still have a party after and I was speaking to Daniel earlier and he said that he would take pictures so we wouldn’t have to worry about that and-“ Lando was interrupted by a pair of soft lips meeting his. “Lan, that sounds perfect” she whispered to him before continuing, “as long as I’m with you, that’s all that ever matters”
#lando norris x reader#f1#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris x female reader#lionesses#womens football#womens world cup#daniel ricciardo#football#football imagine#charles leclerc#imagine#f1 imagine
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I have finished part 1 of season 3 of Bridgerton. Thoughts under the cut
So, I hesitate to really try to talk about everything that happened, so I’m just gonna concentrate on the Polin of it all.
First, let me say that Nicola and Luke should be fucking proud cause they killed it with Colin and Penelope. Especially Nicola able to convey so much heartbreak on her face. But then toss in Luke and the longing looks, the complete denial he found himself in, was just perfect. He did such a great job.
Second, Colin’s vehement hatred for Whistledown is gonna bite them in the ass. I mean, I get they had to change the reveal from how it happened in the books, but also… WHY!? Him finding her at St Bride’s church and confronting her and then the carriage ride all went together. Not that I didn’t love the carriage ride. I mean, I’ll get to that in a moment, but I did so love the reveal in the book. But also, Eloise knowing before Colin is gonna be a big fucking problem, it seems.
Third, we get it. Colin is a manwhore making his way through the brothels of England, and also a bit of a vouyuer if he pays. Lordy Jesus what is he gonna ask to watch Pen do??🥰🥰 dirty boy. But in all seriousness, between Benedict Anthony and Colin, those brothels are being kept up. Also, yall stay the fuck away from Gregory and don’t ruin that sweet little boy.
Fourth, Pen flirting with others in the ton was actually painful to watch. I have terrible second hand embarrassment. Actually sitting through it was nearly impossible. I had to up the timing on it so I could make it through. Kudos for Nicola for making that the most awkward shit I’ve seen in a long fucking time.
Fifth, Sir, that coat and open neck are sinful. But I approve. Carry on!
Sixth, that first kiss. Let’s talk about it. First, Colin bribed her maid to speak with her alone. Clever. The hopelessness that Penelope feels was so palpable. He felt wretched for her and I do think he feels a sense of responsibility for her, but also the need to try to rescue someone. And I think that’s what he sought out to do when she asked him to kiss her. However, it made him reevaluate EVERYTHING. He became awkward with her because of how it made him feel. She was embarrassed for asking, he was embarrassed because he liked it so much and it rocked his fucking world. It was really beautiful that it started out so tentative, but then the romance of it all caught up to them. And she, unbeknownst to her, left him wanting.
Seventh, dreaming about your friend now? Naughty dreams that were tamer than whatever you were doing in that brothel, but knocked you so completely in your ass Mister Bridgerton? Hmmm?
Eighth, the apology he gave her was actually really beautiful. Because it was honest and sincere. He hated he hurt her, he does value her, and she is his friend. Also, we see you with those fluttering lashes when you thought about Colin whispering in your ear at every ball. Well played. But honestly, after how hurt she was by what he said, it did take him off the pedestal she’d had him on. They were finally on even ground and not her looking up at him, theoretically speaking. She will have to give an equally compelling one when it’s revealed to him that she’s Lady Whistledown, especially since he proposed without knowing the truth. I only wish she hadn’t accepted without telling him first. My only really qualm with their love story.
Ninth, friends to lovers is a hard trope to pull off once one of the friends is in the friendzone. As they said, it’s hard to get off the wall once you’re on it. But I think they did a great job.
Tenth, Penelope reading Colin’s journal made it in and I’m so glad. She needed to see his temper a little. Part of him coming down from the pedestal is realizing that he’s not perfect and genteel all the time. Him cutting his hand and her tending to it, while also commenting on his writing was really a lovely scene. As was the moments before it.
Eleventh, the balloon scene. Colin staring at her while she was eating a pastry is unhinged. Mouth open and everything. But also, him realizing what was happening with the balloon because he’d been staring at Pen. And the swashbuckler ran to stop anything from happening. Pen then getting caught up staring, same girl same, and when she tried to run she fell. I felt that on an emotional level. I once fell out of bed because I got my foot caught in the opposite leg of my pajamas. We all clumsy out here. I know my ass would have face planted if I tried to run. But I liked all of it.
Twelfth, their meeting under the tree was super cute. Both fumbling with their words because the kiss did mean something despite what Penelope said. TBH, I would have had my maid check me for bugs after cause trees like those have them. Her paid was the MVP, honestly, that woman stayed so fucking far behind them I don’t know if she can say she was actually with them.
Thirteenth, it struck me that the advice Colin gave Penelope didn’t work because that’s really not who either of them are. They’re both weird little nerds who like to talk about the things that interest them even if no one else is interested.
Fourteenth, Colin chasing after Penelope twice as she left two different balls. The first time just shattered my heart. She had been hurt by the revelation, as she should have been, and then to have it rubbed in her face later was horrific. The realization on her face when she realized what everyone was talking about hurt my heart for her. She truly got a taste of her own medicine when she had to write an article about her own scandal. God he’s really gonna be pissed when he finds out she did that to both of them.
Fifteenth, I keep coming back to I wish she’d told him already about Whistledown. I fucking hope she doesn’t marry him without telling him. That would be hard to support. From the preview, I imagine Eloise won’t let that happen.
Sixteenth, Penelope’s new dresses were very lovely.
Seventeenth, I think I’m ready to talk about the carriage scene. Colin ran after her carriage and made it stop along the road so he could get in. Penelope was embarrassed and ashamed that her once chance to marry had slipped away. And Colin was so fucking relieved when she told him she wasn’t engaged to Debling. Also, Colin, you out here causing a doozy of a scandal by interrupting their dance. Like my dude! Carry on! And he did. I love that most of his confession was on his knees in front of her, making them eye level but also displaying his sincerity. I think that’s what’s so powerful about the scene. Luke did such a wonderful job conveying his desperation to make her understand and that he was genuine. She already knew she loved him, but thinking that he loved her had never crossed her mind. And that it was Penelope who finally revealed herself and her feelings for Colin to spark them into the spiciness.
Last, the spiciness. Admittedly, the dream was rather tame considering all their talk of spicy. The carriage ride was more Bridgerton. Penelope touching his hair LIKE WE ALL WANT TO. The caresses, the kisses. And who knew that a Pitbull song could be romantic!? I love when the carriage stopped him asking if the carriage could just keep going! The laughs, two friends who are used to sharing giggles together who now have more fun pursuits. But then the determination on his face when he climbed out of the carriage. He knew before he moved he was going to ask her to marry him. The fact that Penelope didn’t immediately say yes, tells me she was probably still a little distracted by getting finger banged inside a carriage. Completely understandable. God, I hope her mother doesn’t give her the sex talk. The fact that her sisters had NO IDEA what sex was… well, I hoped she learned her lesson. Draw pictures for your daughters, ladies. Or ask Agatha, to do so. We learned in Queen Charlotte she’s not bad at drawing. But I did really love this scene and how intimate and sexy it was.
Last minute things I had on my mind about the others: as much as I wanted to hate Cressida and Eloise’s friendship, I kind of like it and that they’re comfortable enough to call one another out on their bullshit. GUYS, UNLESS MICHAEL STERLING IS GONNA BE PLAYED BY MICHAEL B. JORDAN IM HIGHLH PISSED THAT HE’S NOT GONNA COME WITH A SCOTTISH ACCENT AND LOOK LIKE RICHARD FUCKING MADDEN. I’m serious. I mean, should they have saved Rege for that role? I’m nervous. Is the only reason that Lady Danbury dislikes her bro is because he’s a rake? Another season of Benedict wandering aimlessly through life and diddling some lady. Honestly, I would have been happier if he’d ended up with Madam Delacroix. Is it possible her name is actually Sophie?
All in all, not a bad first half.
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My (unofficial) PJO season 2 episode 5 script part 2/4 (part 1)
Images of script and copied text (bc I'm lazy and don't want to write out alt text) under the cut, just in case I didn't tag enough spoiler warning or people aren't interested <3
(this part specifically is the siren scene just in case that's important to you)
Annabeth Tries to Swim Home
ABRUPTLY: INT. QUEEN ANNE’S REVENGE – DAY
PERCY wakes up with a start, breathing heavily. ANNABETH is right beside him.
ANNABETH: Percy! Percy, you were having a nightmare.
He tries to calm down.
ANNABETH (CONT): Come on. We’re approaching the island of the Sirens.
They climb the stairs out onto the deck. The heavy fog and low clouds keep it gray and dim as they make their way to the mast. Percy ties Annabeth to it.
PERCY: Is that okay? It’s not too tight?
ANNABETH: It has to be tight enough.
PERCY: Right. It’ll hold.
He finishes tying his knots, and gathers two scoops of candle wax, rolling them into earplugs.
ANNABETH: Don’t untie me. No matter how much I plead and beg.
PERCY: (nodding) I won’t. Promise.
Percy puts the wax in his ears, and all sound cuts out immediately. After a moment, we can hear the low thump of his heartbeat, and the whisper of waves against the boat.
Craggy rocks emerge from the fog as they sail closer to the island. Percy watches Annabeth, who seems fine at first.
Suddenly, she begins reacting to the music. She begins to struggle, clearly distraught.
ANNABETH: (SILENT) Percy!
He looks away from her, uncomfortable with her misery.
The boat continues through the fog, remnants of old wreckages floating in the water. Percy looks thoughtful, a hand twitching as if to reach for his ear. A low hum can be heard, under the waves and beat of Percy’s heart.
He looks back at Annabeth.
ANNABETH (CONT): (SILENT) Please, Percy! You have to let me go. Please!
PERCY: (AUDIBLE) I’m sorry.
ANNABETH: (SILENT) I thought you were my friend! Let me go!
Percy looks away again. He closes his eyes, upset.
He looks back at the mast, now empty, the ropes on the ground with Annabeth’s knife.
PERCY: (AUDIBLE) Annabeth!
Annabeth can be seen swimming towards the island. Percy jumps in after her.
PERCY (CONT): (AUDIBLE) Annabeth!
Percy is desperate, trying to keep an eye on Annabeth and avoid obstacles. Annabeth is entranced by the island, still shrouded in fog. He dips below the water again and again, coming back up to find Annabeth, further from the ship each time. He gains on her, little by little.
PERCY (CONT): (AUDIBLE) Annabeth!
Annabeth is nearly to shore. The black sand of the Sirens’ beach can be seen. Percy is finally close enough to grab her, catching hold of her ankle and pulling her back out to sea.
ANNABETH: (SILENT) Percy! No! Let me go!
Annabeth struggles against him as they sink into the water. Completely submerged, she falters, seeming confused.
Percy pulls them down, but Annabeth begins to struggle again, needing to breathe. Percy looks around, desperate again, before concentrating.
Suddenly, bubbles converge upon them, and the two teenagers are enclosed in an underwater bubble. Annabeth gasps for air. She meets Percy’s eyes and begins to sob (AUDIBLE), her head buried in his shoulder.
PERCY: (AUDIBLE) It’s okay. Just hold on. I’ll get us back to the ship. It’s okay.
Annabeth nods, her sobs beginning to subside. Percy begins to navigate their bubble back towards the dimly visible hull of the Queen Anne’s Revenge. The ship has drifted away, out of range of the Sirens’ voices.
They surface, and a rope ladder drops down the side of the ship. Annabeth climbs up, followed by Percy. Again, it is silent except for his heartbeat and the lap of the waves. The sun has appeared, the fog receding behind them.
Percy looks at Annabeth, but she stares out to the horizon. Eventually, she looks back at him.
ANNABETH: (SILENT) It’s safe.
Percy removes his earplugs, and all sound returns.
PERCY: Hey. Are you okay? (winces)
ANNABETH: I didn’t realize how powerful the temptation would be.
PERCY: What did you see?
ANNABETH: (pause) I rebuilt Manhattan. It was beautiful, full of Greek pillars and rooftop gardens that never wilt. And... my parents. They were together again, and happy to see me. (another pause)
PERCY: It sounds beautiful.
ANNABETH: (sigh) Luke was there too.
It becomes tense.
ANNABETH (CONT): We started over. I rebuilt the world, and everything went right this time.
Percy: So... When Luke said you could start the world from scratch. That really hit home, huh?
ANNABETH: My fatal flaw, Percy. That’s what the Sirens showed me. It’s hubris.
PERCY: Pride?
ANNABETH: Deadly pride. Thinking I can do things better than anyone. Better than the gods.
PERCY: Do you?
ANNABETH: You don’t ever think about how messed up the world is? What if we could start over--no war, no homelessness. No racism. No useless homework or standardized tests.
PERCY: That sounds pretty good.
ANNABETH: I mean, the West is good. It represents a lot of the best of humans. But sometimes it’s so hard to ignore the bad stuff, you know? And then, like, what if Luke’s right? If it was all torn down, could we do it better?
Percy looks confused.
ANNABETH (CONT): You don’t ever think that way? Like you could do a better job running the world?
PERCY: Um... I don’t think so. That sounds like kind of a nightmare.
ANNABETH: (with a soft laugh) Lucky. Hubris isn’t your fatal flaw.
PERCY: What is, then? Doesn’t every hero have one?
ANNABETH: I don’t know, Percy.
They pause, contemplating.
PERCY: So, was it worth it? Do you feel wiser?
ANNABETH: (considering) We have to stop Luke. If he can still tempt me so easily... Well, I won’t be the only one.
Percy nods. They float in silence for a moment.
PERCY: Annabeth... The reason you hate Cyclopes so much. The story about how Thalia really died. What happened?
ANNABETH: The night Grover escorted us to camp, he took some wrong turns. The worst one was into a Cyclops’ lair in Brooklyn.
PERCY: Wait. There’s Cyclopes in Brooklyn?
ANNABETH: Tyson lives in Manhattan and you’re surprised there’s Cyclopes in Brooklyn?
Percy holds up his hands in defeat.
ANNABETH (CONT): Anyway, he tricked us. The Cyclops split us up in this house, it was like a maze of corridors, Percy. And he could mimic anyone, sound just like them. Just like... (trails off before continuing) He lured us, one at a time. Grover was running to save Thalia, and Luke too. Thalia thought she’d heard me yell for help. And I was only seven, and alone in the dark. I just kept running.
Annabeth stops talking, looking out across the sea again. Percy takes her hand.
ANNABETH (CONT): Eventually, I found the main room. The others were there too, tied up. The Cyclops was getting ready to eat them. He saw me. Spoke to me. He would’ve killed me. But... I managed to get Thalia free, and she saved us.
PERCY: Wow. That’s pretty brave, Annabeth.
ANNABETH: I really didn’t do much. And we barely got out alive.
PERCY: Still. You were only seven, and all alone. That’s plenty brave in my book.
ANNABETH: (shaking her head) I still have nightmares about it. And I still can’t like Cyclopes. It was his fault we took so long getting to camp. It gave all the other monsters time to catch up to us. If we hadn’t gotten stuck in that house, Thalia would be alive today.
Thunder rolls, far off.
PERCY: (trying for levity again) Maybe she did meet a hero’s fate.
Annabeth playfully hits his arm. Camera focuses on her face.
(PART 3 | PART 4)
#listen the important part for this section#is walker's ability to act with his eyes#so I need you to imagine his expressions as you read it#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#sea of monsters#annabeth tries to swim home#pjo tv show#percy series#pjo season 2#percy jackson spoilers#percy jackson tv show#pjo#&thoughts#percy jackson season 2#pjo spoilers#pjo series#percy jackson disney+#pjo sea of monsters#sea of monsters spoilers#my writing#again it's a first draft#I'm trying not to reread it#percy jackson sea of monsters#percy and annabeth#pjo tv#pjo book spoilers#percy jackson series#percy jackson tv series#playing at screenwriter
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at any given time i am thinking of your ex-husbands with benefits fic 😍🤯😵💫
I love how much you love that ficlet!! Thank you so much. :') I wrote a little more of it, just for you!! <3
---
“I’m retiring,” Max tells him after the Melbourne Grand Prix.
They’re sitting in a bar. It’s one Daniel hasn’t been to before, one that seems to fit this moment. Soft jazz piano in the background, liquor and large round ice cubes in their glasses. It fills him with vertigo, the difference between where they are now and where they were five years ago, ten years ago.
“I’ve heard that one before,” Daniel says. He tries to smile, make it a joke, but it feels too stiff.
“I mean it,” Max insists. “I’ve already told Christian. He wants to be done after this season too.”
Daniel knew that part. Christian told him weeks ago on a phone call that left him baffled for days afterward. Daniel has been retired for five years, and he and Max have been divorced for nearly four. He’s well past needing updates from Christian, either in his capacity as Max’s minder or as Daniel’s ex-boss.
He’s supposed to be beyond needing updates from Max, too—but here they are.
“Alright. Well.” Daniel wraps both hands around his glass, letting the cold seep into his skin. “Congratulations, I guess?”
He has no idea what he’s supposed to say. He has questions, but he knows better than to ask him. What did Max get out of these last five years? Is he happy about what he sacrificed? Two more championships and another handful of records broken. If Daniel had those things, he’s sure he’d be happy about it, but it’s hard to be the one sitting on the other side of the table.
“You are not happy,” Max says. It isn’t a question.
“Max.” Daniel sighs. He grips his glass harder, imagines it shattering under his palms, slicing his skin. “You want me to be happy?” He pastes on a smile, wide and fake. “Here. Happy.”
Max clenches his jaw, and his anger makes Daniel’s rise in answer, the feeling of it more comforting than it should be. Like a shield.
“I don’t know what you expected me to do,” Max says.
Of course he doesn’t. He never listened. Not really. He won’t listen now either, so why even bother? Daniel lifts his glass to his lips instead and drains it, holding Max’s gaze. “Let’s get out of here,” he says as he clunks the crystal back down on the table. When Max frowns at him and starts to shake his head, Daniel stands up anyway. “It’s what you wanted, right? Don’t pretend it’s not.”
Max finishes his drink too, but his expression still says no. He’s about to leave alone, leave Daniel here alone, and—fuck that. Daniel comes around the table and leans over him, one hand on the back of his chair and one on the table, boxing him in. He’s never been great with words, but he lets himself fantasize for a moment about saying something cutting. The feeling fills him up, words crowding his throat, but then it passes. Instead, he says, “I got our usual room.”
It has the desired effect. Max sucks in a sharp breath and tips his head up, but Daniel hovers just out of reach, their lips barely brushing. Their usual room—where Max first told him he loved him and fucked him up for good. They’d just had their first podium together since Daniel came back to the team, and Max’s mouth was sticky sweet with the champagne they hadn’t stopped drinking for hours. Daniel’s checked into that room every year since, even after the divorce. Every inch of it is overlaid with Max’s presence; he spends the whole weekend seeing double.
“I don’t want you to hate me,” Max says against Daniel’s mouth.
It’s too late for that. Daniel hates him—a terrifying amount, sometimes—but he loves him more. Loves him always. And that’s the part that really sucks.
“Come on,” Daniel says, and he tugs Max to his feet, wraps an arm around his waist and gathers him in close. People are probably watching, but he stopped giving a fuck about that a long time ago. He kisses Max, and when he pulls away, he can finally say, “I’m happy for you, really,” and make himself mean it. Because if Max isn’t happy, this was all for nothing. Daniel’s been miserable for nothing.
#maxiel#f1#my writing#the power of someone telling you they can't stop thinking about something you wrote...#it makes me want to write 50k words!!!#it makes me feel like i could write 50k words in one afternoon!!!
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I watched all the Chinese idol survival shows so you don’t have to (but you should anyway)
About three years ago, I watched 创造101 Produce 101 China, and it kinda changed my life. Yes, really! This show dragged me down a rabbit hole that eventually led to me watching many more Chinese shows and listening to almost exclusively Chinese music. I’m even branching out to cdramas now. All under the guise of, um, improving my listening comprehension!
OK, so “all the Chinese idol survival shows” might be an exaggeration. I’ll be talking about these three classic idol group survival shows from the “golden age” period of 2018-2021:
>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)
偶像练习生 Idol Producer
青春有你1 Youth with You 1
青春有你2 Youth with You 2
青春有你3 Youth with You 3
>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)
创造101 Produce 101 China
创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019
创造营2020 Chuang 2020
创造营2021 Chuang 2021
>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)
以团之名 All For One
少年之名 We Are Young
Here is the order I actually watched these 10 seasons in:
创造101 Produce 101 China
青春有你2 Youth with You 2
创造营2020 Chuang 2020
创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019
偶像练习生 Idol Producer
青春有你1 Youth with You 1
青春有你3 Youth with You 3
创造营2021 Chuang 2021
以团之名 All For One
少年之名 We Are Young
I started 创造101 Produce 101 China in late 2019/early 2020 and finished 少年之名 We Are Young on Christmas Day 2022. I was literally tearing up. Three franchises, ten seasons, something around 1000 contestants, and three years of my life.
In order to refresh my memory for this post, I rewatched almost all of the performance clips from these shows. I didn’t watch the initial evaluations or any practice room videos (it’s simply too much content). It was simultaneously fun and exhausting. I will go over why you should/shouldn’t watch each season and give any other notable remarks. Let’s get started!
*Please note that for any YouTube links below, there is a risk of muted sections, parts/entire episodes being unavailable, and missing/out of sync subtitles. For official links, whether or not a VIP subscription is needed may change in the future. Fansubbed content may have sections or entire episodes missing.
>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)
iQiyi rebranded the series by changing its name from 偶像练习生 Idol Producer to 青春有你 Youth with You after the first season. However, they really didn’t change much about the format at all. From what I’ve heard, iQiyi doesn’t have as large a budget as Tencent, which you can see reflected in the show’s production quality. However, I’ve long felt that this franchise has a real charming quality that makes up for lack of flashy sets.
偶像练习生 Idol Producer
Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed)
Watch via Idol Producer Subs (English fansubs, missing part of finale)
Why you should watch it: Though not China’s first idol survival show, this show was the first of a new era. It’s iconic! The theme song is a bop, 10/10. Also, I had heard of all of the winners before I watched this season, so there’s some real cultural relevance. I can’t believe it was nearly five years ago! The whole top 20 remains iconic to this day. In most seasons, there are at least one or two popular contestants who I don’t really like or don’t see the appeal of, but that wasn’t the case this season. This season is also a lot shorter than later seasons, so it’s easier for those who are new to survival shows.
Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, there is a lack of flashy sets/stages here. The background of the stage often looks empty. There were some performances that were better than I remembered, but there were others that were...not. I’m pretty sure 黄明昊 Justin was 15 when the show began, which shocks me in a BAD way. And if you’re a Jackson Wang fan, I think he barely appeared in the second half of the show.
My picks: 郑锐彬 Zheng Ruibin, 周彦辰 Zhou Yanchen, 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun, 王子异 Wang Ziyi, 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie, 周锐 Zhou Rui
Favorite performance: PPAP A组 PPAP group A
This was a powerhouse group. And it was hilarious to watch the boys’ reaction when they heard the whole song and realized the style was not at all what they had initially expected! They totally pulled it off though.
Iconic moments: 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun’s outfit (and ego) in the initial evaluation, B-A-L-A-N-C-E, when we realized 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie can sing too, 林彦俊 Lin Yanjun's platinum hair, one of the songs was called Mack Daddy which causes me great distress to this day, 周锐 Zhou Rui aka 周美锐 Zhou Meirui, I’m still laughing over 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie’s resemblance to 胡巴 Huba.
Verdict: Though this was not my first idol survival show, I think it would be a great first foray for anyone. It’s iconic for a reason. You should watch it (and I might rewatch it).
青春有你1 Youth with You 1
Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed)
Watch via Qing Chun You Ni Subs (English fansubs)
Why you should watch it: This season is the forgotten child of the franchise, but it still had some great performances and a lot of talented contestants. The theme song is also probably my favorite out of all ten theme songs! It was love at first listen. Personally, I enjoyed this team of mentors more than the first season’s. I also feel that the vocal-based performances were stronger this season. For instance, there were great performances of 李荣浩 Li Ronghao songs.
Why you shouldn’t watch it: I feel that some of the magic of the first season was lost, and overall the contestants were not as memorable or charismatic in my opinion. There were also several contestants I found extremely irritating and some contestants who ranked much higher and last much longer on the show than I feel they should have based on their skill level...but I won’t name names.
My picks: 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu, 李振宁 Li Zhenning, 周士原 Zhou Shiyuan, 连淮伟 Li Huaiwei
Favorite performance: 隔壁泰山 A组 Neighboring Tarzan group A
This is a very unusal song, but it’s so catchy and memorable. 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu really made this performance for me. And this song still gets stuck in my head months later!
Iconic moments: 冯俊杰 Feng Junjie and 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu trying to outdo each other, 胡春杨 Hu Chunyang looked angry 24/7 for no reason, they literally got 蔡依林! Jolin Tsai! as a mentor, 李汶翰 Li Wenhan was everyone’s older brother, their performance made me fall in love with the song 耳朵 Erduo, they kinda did a steampunk concept which I love.
Verdict: It’s not necessarily a must-watch, but I still enjoyed it. If you’ve fallen into the black hole of survival shows and want more, I think it’s worth your time.
青春有你2 Youth with You 2
Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed)
Watch on YouTube (English subs)
Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)
Why you should watch it: As iQiyi’s first time with female contestants, this season was highly anticipated. iQiyi stepped it up with subtitles, got Lisa from BLACKPINK as a mentor (I saw people say they came for Lisa and stayed for the trainees), and made a lot of content available on YouTube. As a result, some of the performances from this season have millions of views. It’s well deserved—a lot of the contestants are overflowing with talent and charisma. And honestly, you should watch this for 蔡徐坤. He’s a great MC/mentor to the girls and was truly a highlight of the season for me.
Why you shouldn’t watch it: This is the only season that I watched week by week as it was airing. It was EXHAUSTING. iQiyi started pumping out two episodes a week, doubling the overall episode count. I was literally burnt out by the finale. So if you watch this, please take it slow. Also, I forgot how much they did that thing where they cut away from the performances to show other contestant/mentor reactions and then have to go rewind on the performance...it really drives me nuts. They overdid it for sure.
My picks: 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin, 喻言 Yu Yan, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan, 刘令姿 Liu Lingzi, 许馨文 Xu Xinwen
Favorite performance: 不奉陪 No Company
This was a tough choice! I went with this performance because I actively sought it out for relistens. That’s so rare for 主题考核 theme evaluation songs for me. All the members got to shine yet they were a very cohesive team.
Iconic moments: Bad Guy was the ultimate dark horse, how no one knew the song 想见你想见你想见你 Miss You 3000, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan defeated the evil quads, 乃万 Nineone basically replaced Jony J as rap mentor, seeing 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin with a wig was terrifying, they let the girls wear shorts if they didn’t like skirts #feminism, I still think about 张钰 Zhang Yu and 王清 Wang Qing’s initial performance all the time.
Verdict: I don’t think I could rewatch this season due to its length, but if you can commit the time, I think you should watch it. I’m sad I’ll never get to see a second 青春有你 Youth with You female season.
青春有你3 Youth with You 3
Watch on iQiyi (English subs, no VIP needed)
Watch on iQiyi (no English subs, no VIP needed)
Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)
Why you should watch it: This season was probably the one I felt most emotionally invested in. I feel like I got to know the boys and was in it together with them (parasocial relationships, I know). And the friendships between contestants were so touching. Like 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, this season was also extra long, but I watched this season after it aired, going at my own pace. There were so many charming contestants and memorable performances. The dancing especially shone, but we got some great vocal moments too. I think iQiyi did a really good job picking songs this season.
Why you shouldn’t watch it: Sadly, the finale never aired. Due to the infamous milk-wasting scandal, the show was cancelled (but a winning group still formed and debuted). Even though I knew this before watching the show, it was still quite sad to never see a conclusion. Additionally, I believe this show started with more like 120 contestants, and I felt that increased number. Lastly, there was some painful singing and lots of very uninspired rapping. I feel like the gap in skill between the contestants was larger, and some of the teams felt very unbalanced as a result.
My picks: 姜京佐 Jiang Jingzuo, 杨昊铭 Yang Haoming, 十七 Shiqi, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei, 张思源 Zhang Siyuan, 连淮伟 Lian Huaiwei
Favorite performance: 燕尾蝶 Wings of Love
This performance was everything I could ever dream of. 徐子未 won the world over instantly. He has the voice of an angel. Love the song, love the concept, love everything about it.
Iconic moments: 罗一舟 Luo Yizhou and 余景天 Tony Yu Jingtians’s friendly rivalry, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei’s back-to-back victories, Yuta’s adorable accent, 王南钧 Wang Nanjun would not shut up about 竹 Bamboo, touch 梁森 Liang Sen’s head for good luck, 刘隽 Liu Jun dances like he’s possessed (in a good way), that 雨爱 Rainie Love stage was a trainwreck tbh.
Verdict: Despite the scandals and lack of a finale, it was worth the watch for me. I feel so fond thinking of this season. Truthfully, season three has surpassed season two for me.
>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)
I read somewhere that Tencent officially licensed the Produce 101 name from Mnet, making this franchise more “official.” For season two, they ended up changing the name to 创造营 Produce Camp. The Chinese name remained the same for seasons three and four, but the in English they started promoting the show under the name Chuang. I think they wanted to beat iQiyi in the contest to see who can have the most titles for the same show.
创造101 Produce 101 China
Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, no VIP needed)
Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed)
Watch on YouTube (no English subs)
Watch on YouTube (no English subs, episode 7 here, episode 10 here)
Watch via Produce 101 China Subs (English fansubs)
Why you should watch it: This is the only season I’ve seen twice, so that says something I guess! This season holds a special place in my heart as my first survival show, so I rewatched it earlier this year with some friends who hadn’t seen it previously. One thing that stood out to me about this season was that it felt like there were several dark horses who started to shine closer to the middle/end of the show. I liked this because it’s boring when the debut lineup is completely predictable! And if you’re not already a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, you will leave as a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, guaranteed.
Why you shouldn’t watch it: Not gonna lie, I was not a huge fan of this mentor team. I am fine with these people individually, but together it was not an ideal combo in my opinion. They collectively made some very odd decisions that I strongly disagree with. After my rewatch, I’m just kinda done with 黄子韬 Huang Zitao. I also realized there were a lot more instances of...rough singing than I remembered, so be warned.
My picks: 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi, Yamy, 刘人语 Liu Renyu, 许靖韵 Angela Xu Jingyun, 吴映香 Lucia Wu Yingxiang, 李紫婷 Mimi Li Ziting
Favorite performance: 别人家的小孩 Other People’s Kids
This is one of the most iconic performances (and one of my favorites) ever from all of these shows! It’s so unique and really has everything you could want. It was truly a perfect collab performance.
Iconic moments: When they had to tap 杨超越 Yang Chaoyue so she wouldn’t miss the beat, 王一博 Wang Yibo’s blue hair was gorgeous, Triple A group reunion, Look What You Made Me Do with creepy marionettes was perfect, when 陈嘉桦 Ella went barefoot on stage, 黄子韬 Huang Zitao literally screamed at them all, I’ll never forget the iconic 乐华 Yuehua performance.
Verdict: Even the second time, this was a season filled with surprises. It’s not perfect, but I think it will manage to charm you anyway. There are some real hidden gems here.
创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019
Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed)
Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed)
Watch on YouTube (no English subs)
Why you should watch it: This was the first ever male season I watched, and I remember being apprehensive. I ended up having a lot of fun! This season really tugged at my heartstrings with the touching friendships between the boys and the intense 导师推荐生 mentor recommendees segments. I felt like I went through the wringer with them as they were forced to repack all their belongings, endure the brutal F班 demotions, hike across the beach, and more. There were countless hilarious moments too. If I were to rewatch, it would be for 周震南 Zhou Zhennan AKA 南南 Nannan. He just dominates the stage (despite his short stature)!
Why you shouldn’t watch it: I’ll admit, this season probably has the greatest number of contestants that annoy me. Sometimes it’s for no good reason...I just look at them and go ugh. The first round especially has some pretty painful singing, so be warned of that as well. Also, my rewatch made me realize I remembered very few performances from this season, which probably isn’t a good sign. Also, a lot of the performances were very short, sub-three minutes, which personally bothers me.
My picks: 周震南 Zhou Zhennan, 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang, 姚琛 Yao Chen, 陆思恒 Lu Siheng, 李鑫一 Li Xinyi, 贺俊雄 He Junxiong
Favorite performance: 开门见山 Kaimenjianshan
I’ll admit that this performance was not as good as I remembered it being (probably because now I’ve heard the original by A-Mei many times), but I picked it anyway to acknowledge the amazing 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang.
Iconic moments: 张颜齐 Zhang Yanqi giving away jars of 老干妈 Lao Gan Ma, we never saw 王晨艺 Wang Chenyi again, 姚琛来了~ (Yao Chen is coming), when 周震南 Zhou Zhennan had his hoodie on but his ears were sticking out omg, try saying 李昀锐 Li Yunrui's name ten times fast, they had 30+ year old men here, this was the OG 乘风破浪 chengfengpolang.
Verdict: Among so many seasons, I don’t think this season stands out that much, but I still remember it fondly. If you want a good laugh and some fun, check it out.
创造营2020 Chuang 2020
Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed)
Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed)
Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3)
Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3)
Watch on Viki (English subs, no Viki Pass needed)
Why you should watch it: They went all out on the sets, the location, the accommodations, everything. The performance setup was that the seats were in the middle and various stages were located around the perimeter. The seats would rotate to face the stages!! Some of the stages were stunning. I also want to mention that there were some great vocalists this season and I feel like they got to shine, which always makes me happy. The best round by far was the second round (专业方向). We got some beautiful vocal performances and intense dance performances.
Why you shouldn’t watch it: This season felt messy to me. I think they tried to mix things up, but not everything landed. The beautiful sets almost got distracting…they were more interesting than some of the performances. Several very talented and promising contestants never even made it past the first round. And since the final group only had seven people, the finale was just a frustrating experience. I never want to hear that 小摩托 xiao motuo song or 夏天的风 Summer Wind again. I don’t feel this season lived up to 创造101 Produce 101 China (unless you wanted MORE comments about weight/thinness).
My picks: 王柯 Wang Ke, 华承妍 Hua Chengyan, 刘些宁 Liu Xiening, 苏芮琪 Su Ruiqi, 朱主爱, Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai, 王一桥 Wang Yiqiao
Favorite performance: Manta
There were a lot of performances I liked, but I really struggled to pick a favorite. I ultimately went with this because it’s one of the most memorable dance performances I’ve seen on these shows.
Iconic moments: That thin waist contest was simply the worst, they were in a literal castle, we all went crazy for the band and 王柯 Wang Ke, 朱主爱 Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai won the collab stage, wtf stop filming 姜贞羽 Jiang Zhenyu, I want to ride that cute train up the mountain, 毛不易 Mao Buyi did not want to talk, pretend that 吴亦凡 Wu Yifan wasn’t there.
Verdict: This season was competing against 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, and I chose to prioritize 青春有你2 Youth with You 2. I would make the same choice now. If you decide to watch, just be warned it may be a frustrating experience.
创造营2021 Chuang 2021
Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed)
Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed)
Why you should watch it: I wasn’t sure I was going to watch this season because of its international theme. Having foreigners is nothing new, but such a large number was certainly going to alter the show’s dynamic. Well, I watched it anyway. Overall, I’m glad I did. There were some talented and lovable contestants that made this season all worth it. The mentor squad (mostly 宁静 Ning Jing, 邓超 Deng Chao, and 周深 Zhou Shen) were so entertaining. Lastly, compared to the 2019 season, there were more popular vocalists this season, which I 100% support. I’ll be honest, I didn’t remember a lot of the performances from this season, but I ended up pleasantly surprised by how many great ones there were!
Why you shouldn’t watch it: It felt like there was so much focus on Nine and Patrick, Santa and Riki, the Intersection boys, and eventually Lelush as well. The other foreign contestants honestly had very little impact. This didn’t ruin the show or anything, but sometimes I got a little sick of the Santa and Mika show, you know? Also, none of my favorites made it into the winning group unfortunately. While I acknowledge the talent of the winning members, for whatever reason I wasn’t really that invested in most of them.
My picks: 俞更寅 Yu Gengying, 井胧 Jing Long, 林墨 Lin Mo, 奥斯卡 Oscar, 张星特 Zhang Xingte
Favorite performance: Lover Boy 88
This performance was simply infectious! I even made my friends watch to it. 林墨 Lin Mo is so charming. And 张腾 Zhang Teng and 张星特 Zhang Xingte’s vocals were perfect. Just wish it had been longer!
Iconic moments: Mika and 曾涵江 Zeng Hanjiang = my last two brain cells trying to communicate, I still can’t believe Lelush went viral worldwide, 刘宇 Liu Yu broke the Produce curse, Nine and Patrick only learned Chinese for how long???, Caelan kinda does look like Leonardo DiCaprio, Oscar AKA 熊熊 Xiongxiong, the 网红 wanghong group was so talented actually.
Verdict: I think this season got more international attention than 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, and while I prefer 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, this season is worth a watch for its uniqueness and improvements over the previous year.
>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)
I watched both seasons of Youku’s shorter-lived franchise in 2022 only after (and only because) I had finished the other two franchises. I think Youku had a smaller budget and thus tried to stand out by shaking up the traditional survival show formula. I think they made some poor choices and some good choices. I don’t know the story behind the name change between seasons, but the seasons are so different from each other that it makes sense.
以团之名 All For One
Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed)
Watch on YouTube (no English subs)
Why you should watch it: I’m going to say a lot of negative stuff below, but I wanted to add at least a few positive words. During the finale, the remaining contestants sang S.H.E’s 你曾是少年 Wings Of My Words, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so emotional over a performance ever. 任家萱 Selina was a delight throughout. I also really grew to appreciate 奶茶 Naicha and what a great and thoughtful leader he was.
Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, this show had some unique features that made it stand out. The contestants formed ten groups of eight, and the composition of the groups remained unchanged throughout. Entire groups got eliminated together. This created a dynamic where some really talented contestants went home too soon due to their group. It also meant that some groups were popular really just due to having one popular member. In the end, one group won...but I guess they realized this was a bad idea, so they formed a second winning group of the most popular contestants from the non-winning groups. I didn’t like this format and felt is really negatively impacted my viewing. Personally, seeing new team lineups form is one of my favorite parts of survival shows. And because the leaders were constant, they had there was too much focus on them. Also, the mentors were so harsh all the time. Maybe it was deserved, but it really bummed me out to watch them constantly talk about how disappointed they were.
My picks: 奶茶 Naicha, 田书臣 Tian Shuchen, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao, 赖煜哲 AJ Lai Yuzhe, 热亚提 Reyati, 赵品霖 Zhao Pinlin
Favorite performance: 饕餮 Taotie
This was not one of the performances that stood out in my memory, but it stood out to me when I did my rewatch. I feel like they really nailed every element, and I don’t think the other teams could have pulled off this song.
Iconic moments: 何展成 Jonathan Ha gave up on speaking Chinese and 袁娅维 Tia Ray had to translate for him, the 王霏霏 Wang Feifei and 孟佳 Meng Jia reunion, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao’s beautiful dance to a Shawn Mendes song, I’m not sure why 奶茶 Naicha chose milk tea as stage name, AJ vs. the hidden snacks, they made 周艺轩 Zhou Yixuan perform a UNIQ song.
Verdict: Maybe you can skip this one. I definitely didn’t devote my full attention while I was watching it. And it felt like the show and the mentors were being mean to the boys all the time.
少年之名 We Are Young
Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed)
Watch on YouTube (no English subs)
Watch via We Are Young Subs (English fansubs)
Why you should watch it: They improved on basically all the issues I had with the first season, and I was pleasantly surprised. Also, this is basically a 青春有你1 Youth with You 1 mini reunion with a few 偶像练习生 Idol Producer alums plus some future 青春有你3 You with You 3 contestants. It was so wonderful to see how the contestants I already knew had grown, and I loved seeing them get new opportunities to shine. There was surprisingly a lot of good raps/rappers on this show! Also, there were some truly incredible performances this season that aren’t like anything I’ve seen on other idol survival shows. And I enjoyed almost every performance—there were only a few that I disliked or thought were, um, not good. The mentors did not always agree...but I don’t care!
Why you shouldn’t watch it: Because they have to be different, when doing the initial evaluations, only about 50 contestants advanced to the next round. This was nice because it meant fewer names/faces, but wow, it felt so mean. Sometimes I wished they had stuck to a more traditional format. Besides that, I don’t have much else negative to say!
My picks: 郭震 Guo Zhen, 寇聪 Kuo Cong, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie, 李希侃 Li Xikan, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng, 杨超文 Yang Chaowen
Favorite performance: Don’t Start Now
I don’t think I’ve ever seen this exact concept on one of these shows before. This performance was instantly a standout for me, especially because it had some of my favorite contestants!
Iconic moments: They literally had a corgi, 林 (Lin) MUA, everyone shipping 薛恩 Xue En and 程潇 Cheng Xiao, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan in a CROP TOP, 胡彦斌 Hu Yanbin told 寇聪 Kou Cong to wear less to show off his body what, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng’s entrance through the pink smoke, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie really bungee jumped with his eyes closed, how 郭震 Guo Zhen, 左叶 Zuo Ye, and 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan were in the same group four times without anyone noticing.
Verdict: This season ended up being better than it had any right to be! I think it’s worth checking out, especially if you are missing the boys from the 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You series.
>> Conclusion
If you actually read this entire post, I’m thoroughly impressed. If you, like me, have spent way too much time watching these shows, feel free to send me a message because I need someone to commiserate with.
I honestly have this weird feeling that a chapter of my life is over. I have so many treasured memories from watching these shows—moments of laughter, tears, shock, pride, and more. They’ve provided a way to ground my language studies and engage with Chinese pop culture. They made me feel less alone during earlier COVID times.
Well, I’m off to find something to fill the survival show-size hole in my heart...maybe I’ll just rewatch 偶像练习生 Idol Producer.
#my watchlist#idol producer#qing chun you ni#youth with you#produce 101#produce 101 china#produce camp#chuang#all for one#we are young#survival show#cpop#c-pop#c pop#偶像练习生#偶像練習生#青春有你#创造101#創造101#创造营#創造營#少年之名#以团之名#以團之名#cpop idols#this is my magnum opus#currently going through survival show withdrawal#I may complain but I love these shows#I spent way too long working on this#I literally have pages of notes
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okay. take two. it’s only been three days, but this post has come into fruition. i present to you:
the nutcracker, op. 71, act II: no. 13, waltz of the flowers
(or: aziraphale finds a music box that only plays waltz of the flowers by tchaikovsky after hypothetical season 3 and is Emotional about it !)
2k words, rated G, and warnings for mild depictions of aftermath of trauma + sensory deprevation. betaed by hapax :]
the reason why i chose this picture is because my music box has this painting on it. its called “vase of flowers” by van huysum. anyways MMMM i cant believe it only took me like two days to fully finish this my god. there is no plot, no worthwhile summary, only music box and softness. and thanks to everyone who interacted with that post bc i wouldn’t have done it without your interaction lol (and my beta, who gave a lot of good suggestions to make it better). here’s the ao3 link again if you missed it, and THANKS AGAIN!!!!!
taglist + visuals of my own box below ! i’d have done sounds of my box but i don’t have the effort to do a video right now, gonna be recording that later
okay tag list. its just everyone who explicitly expressed interest in this fic, so if you said something, sorry but you’re the reason why i’m here so you’re here now. the following: @crowleyholmes @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @ghostsparrow @crowleys-curl @frappe-the-peppermint hi :)
and as for backstory behind the box…. i got it in a museum gift shop! it’s pretty simple looking on the outside, boxed in cardboard so its not nearly as ornate as aziraphale’s is, but it plays the same notes in the same way. here are some visuals:
and for aziraphale’s box in the fic…. here’s a surprise. a crappy drawing of my vision!
i hope that opens some nice visuals for you. i thought about it wayyyy too much. if you’re still here, thanks for making it this far, and happy time zone!!
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You know that hit game FNAF?
I hope you do.
Anyways, could you write headcanons about how well the side characters would be at playing it?
Thanks <3
Okay, so I have never played this game - or really had any interest in playing it, so I watched some guy play one of the games, and I did a bit of research. Sorry this took so long! I did my best, though... I'm finally almost done with requests. I've got two more left (good news for the Solomon lovers).
The others playing FNAF headcanons (dateables + new sides)
Diavolo
Diavolo downloaded it after tuning in to one of Levi’s streams.
He found it amusing. Scary animatronics are so entertaining – although he thinks they’re more cute than scary.
Laughs in the face of jump scares and death. “Haha, look, Barbatos. The big fox one killed me. I’m dead now.” / “That’s very nice, My Lord. Did you finish your paperwork already?” / “. . .uhm.” / “You have ten seconds before we reenact your game. I’ll be the fox.”
Does not care about the lore. He’ll listen and might retain some details when Levi explains it, but he will not dig deep or look for easter eggs.
He kinda sucks, but he has a good time, and isn’t that what matters? He’s not super careful or watchful because it’s just a game. There’s nothing at stake, so he can relax and just mess around.
His favorite character is Foxy, and it’s genuinely as simple as “he’s red, and he’s a pirate.”
Barbatos
He has no interest in playing at first.
Slight aside: I think he’d like horror games, but he strikes me as more of a cinematic, artsy horror game guy – like Bramble or Little Nightmares. He also strikes me as someone who might enjoy farming sims, like he would love Stardew Valley and Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons. Pumpkin Panic would probably be a happy medium.
He’ll play if Diavolo, MC, or Luke ask him to; for anyone else, he’ll politely decline. Surprisingly, he’s not too bad. He’ll probably die once or twice, but he figures out what he has to do pretty quickly.
Barbatos doesn’t react to jump scares, and he avoids them as much as possible. He can play without moving his face – at least until one of the three people who could get him to play compliments him. In that case, he’ll smile a bit wider.
Nothing in that game could be more horrifying to Barbatos than Chuck E. Cheese – a real human world place where people take their children for some unfathomable reason. It’s run by a rat! That’s one of the reasons he won’t play if Solomon asks him too. One time Solomon loaded a Chuck E. Cheese mod version of the game that he asked Levi to make, and Barbatos nearly broke the control from fright.
Luke
The game is a little too scary for his liking, but he still plays it occasionally – just not alone. He gets more paranoid and jumpier for a few days after he plays, but he’ll insist that he’s fine to keep playing if anyone asks.
He’s not great, but he’s still the best out of everyone at Purgatory Hall. He tenses up and just either goes wide-eyed or starts yelling at the characters in the game, but other than that, at least he knows what he’s doing.
Luke likes all the toy versions of the animatronics because they look cute, but the nightmare ones freak him out.
A wave of relief washes over him once he beats a game. He’s so happy that he can finally turn the game off.
Simeon
This poor man does not understand how to play – at all. He forgets which keys do what constantly, so he can’t react fast enough.
It’s a very stressful experience for him when he tries to play – all 10 minutes or so before he loses. Simeon doesn’t get scared so much as he just repeatedly asks what he’s supposed to do with increasing urgency.
Simeon would prefer to watch someone else play, but overall, he isn’t that interested in the game.
However, Simeon does find the lore and story interesting, so if he watches Levi or Luke playing, he’ll ask them questions about the plot.
Somehow, watching Luke play makes him more anxious than when he plays – probably because he doesn’t want Luke to lose and be disappointed.
Solomon
Solomon enjoys it because it’s supposed to be dark and scary, but it doesn’t actually scare him at all – barring a few cheap jump scares. Still, he kind of likes it.
Unfortunately, Solomon kind of sucks. Like Diavolo, he finds the game so amusing that he just chuckles when things get stressful. He’s the type to hear or see something spooky in the game and do nothing just to see what happens. Okay, so maybe Solomon doesn’t suck, he just likes to see how the animatronics are going to get him – a real “oh boy, I sure hope I die” approach.
Solomon loves watching Luke play. It’s hilarious when Luke freaks out – and it’s even funnier to watch Simeon get nervous on his behalf.
Unironically thinks the nightmare versions are cute.
Thirteen
She hates jump scares so much.
She played once, and at the first jump scare, she let out a stifled shriek, pressed esc, put her cat ear headphones down, and left the room (to go find MC, probably).
No thank you. She doesn’t need that stress in her life. She will not try that again. She might watch someone else play but only if MC is there to comfort her or if it’s to laugh at Mammon for being scared.
She’s not afraid of the game, per se, she just doesn’t like being startled. She thinks the characters are cute, in a way - like creepy cute.
Raphael
He thinks it’s stupid, and he doesn’t understand why it’s so popular. Raphael doesn’t care for gaming in general – but especially horror. He doesn’t want to simulate a stressful situation for no reason. If he wanted stress, he’d call Michael.
Raphael will try the game if Luke asks him to, and he does alright, but gets bored right up until he messes something up and dies. You wouldn’t even be able to tell he was in trouble. An immoveable frown sits on his face the entire time.
When Luke asks if Raphael would like to try again, Raphael tells him that if he wants a spear-free computer, he won’t make Raphael play anymore. The message was received.
Raphael will only watch if Luke, Simeon, or Lucifer play, and even then, he would probably pass most of the time.
Mephisto
He doesn’t strike me as much of a gamer, either. If he does play games, he’d probably choose games that are visually stunning and at least semi-relaxing, like Journey or Flower (probably Zelda games too).
He would play it if Luke asked him to or if he wanted to do research on it for journalism purposes.
Mephisto does relatively well, but he likes to investigate a lot, so he gets a bit distracted and takes it slow sometimes. Unfortunately – or fortunately – he has a habit of stopping after losing once. He’ll pick up the game again some other day, but once he loses, he stops that game for the day. On one hand, Mephisto does not allow himself to get pulled into games that he loses, but it makes his progress slow.
When Mephisto plays, he bounces his leg the whole time to contain his anxiety. He appears relaxed, but he flinches at jump scares and his eyes widen when he’s actively trying not to die.
He’s super into the lore – call it journalistic curiosity or just call him a nerd.
#anon#ask#requests#diavolo#barbatos#luke#simeon#solomon#thirteen#raphael#mephistopheles#obey me others#obey me headcanons#gn!mc#obey me#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me luke#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me thirteen#obey me raphael#obey me mephistopheles
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When the Levee Breaks (pt. 3)
Daryl Dixon x OFC
The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her. Right?
Chapt. Setting: The CDC, Daryl’s room.
Chapt. Warnings: degrading and sexist language, season 1 Daryl, sexual themes, descriptions of nudity, (idk, Daryl’s being kind of a jerk and a perv but not nearly enough of one to really need a tag)
Word count: 3k
A/N; Daryl’s POV 😩🤷🏼♀️, also he’s not a reliable narrator; I think it almost goes without saying that he’s wrong about the OC’s intentions like 90% of the time.
17+ mdni
“Truth”
Got no idea why I agreed to play this goddamn game. Or how I let Beatle two feet in the damn door in the first place.
She’d just barged in, demandin’ I share this dogshit girl-whiskey with her, like the needy fuckin’ bitch she was. Bad enough I shared at dinner and let her sit next to me. Bad enough I been lettin’ her talk at me for the last few days, seemingly non-fuckin’-stop.
Not like I’m nice about it or nothin’, but I could get physical. Could scoop her up and put her right outside this door right now and lock her the fuck out. But I dont. I ain’t even sure why. Probably cuz the headache she’d holler about it would be even worse than the one she’s already givin’ me.
And for some reason, like always, I cave. And play truth or dare like we’re goddamn little kids. Bitches, right? Always fuckin’ somethin’.
“Name one thing you genuinely like about me.” Starin’ at me, waitin’ for an answer like she didn’t just ask the most fish for a compliment ass shit I ever heard. Her eyes twinkling in the low light of the bedside table. Sitting on the ground, between two beds. Like goddamn little kids.
“Nothin’.” I laugh despite tryin’ to keep a straight face. Cuz fuck me, there should be somethin’, right? Somethin’ I can say I like ‘bout her.
I look over to see her reaction, she’s actin’ annoyed like I owed her the fuckin’ compliment. “That’s not how you play the game, Daryl.” Her voice, maybe I’m gettin’ used to it or somethin’, because right now it just didn’t seem as loud and grating as it usually does. “Plus, it’s bad manners.”
Talkin’ about bad fuckin’ manners; as she says it she tries to snake her tiny fuckin’ fingers onto my hand to weasel the cigarette I’m smokin’. Like I’m gon’ just let her have it. I pull it back and take a drag and look at her like she’s lost her damn mind.
She persists, ignorin’ that she’d just tried to take something else from me without askin’, “Answer the question.”
“I did.”
“No, for real.”
“I did.” A smile cracks on my face as I look her dead in the eye.
And she fuckin’ smiles back at me like I wasn’t being 100 percent fuckin’ honest that I don’t like a goddamn thing about her. Fuckin’ stupid fuckin’ bitch.
Well… there is one thing.
“Fine,” I drag the cigarette again letting it sit between my lips while I twist off the cap of the girl-whiskey, tryin’ to distract myself while I throw her a bone. “Ya do, actually, got a nice set a’ tits on ya.” Takin’ a big drink to swallow down my pride. Why do I give in to this shit?
Her face gets all pink and stupid. As if she’s never heard that before. As if she didn’t hear it 20 times a night for years. Nah, she gets all flushed and googly eyed like she’s never heard it before in her whole goddamn life.
Her hand’s in my fuckin’ face again, to get some of the whiskey this time. I hand her the short of my smoke instead. Which she takes, like she always does. Like she had been finishing almost all of my smokes over the last few days. I take another big drink of my own pride before handin’ her the bottle too. I can’t believe I’m playing this fuckin game, “Truth or dare?”
“Dare.” Now I have to think of somethin’ to tell this stupid little girl to do? God this was just a game for her to play egomaniac while hoggin’ the booze. The way her tongue touches the glass first, guiding her lips to the brim, reminds me that I don’t want to fuckin’ share. I rip the bottle from her greedy fingers while she’s in the middle of takin’ a sip.
Let her get a taste. Usually do. Probably why she keeps following me ‘round like a lost puppy. Always pickin’ up my half used trash like she owned it. Like someone who’s not good for nothin’ and not good at nothin’.
Well, except that one thing Beatle was good for.
“Dare you to take your tits out.” Lookin at.
“And just sit here and play this game with my fuckin’ tits out?” Like it’s so unbelievable.
“Yup.” A big grin breakin’ my face. Just waitin’ ta see if she’ll actually do it. Probably fuckin’ will.
“But that’s awkward.” She’s whining again, and I roll my eyes, she’s un-fuckin’-believable.
“I don’t care.” I don’t.
Beatle sighs, extra loud, and looks down at her top. Like for some reason all of a sudden she’s fuckin’ shy about her tits. As if the bad half of Georgia hasn’t already seen ‘em. She looks back at me like I’m gonna change my mind or somethin’, but I just stare at her. Enjoying the silence. Maybe even enjoying the dumbstruck look on her face, the blush that hasn’t left. Definitely enjoying her pale white skin slowly revealing itself as she pulls the hem of her shirt over her head.
And then she sits there in her bra like she’s too fuckin’ stupid to remember what I’d dared her to do. “Naw, I said tits out.”
“But Daryl, I - “
“I don’ care.” I smile into the bottle while I take a sip. Finally makin’ her fuckin’ uncomfortable for once. Quieter than she’s ever been in her whole fuckin’ life. And her eyes get even wider, so I use her own words against her, smiling, “‘That’s not how you play the game’.”
Beatle grabs the girlwhiskey right out of my hands and takes a swig. Shoving the bottle back before I even react.
And mostly I ignore the fact that my heart is starting to beat in my fuckin’ ears. That my throats getting dry. Yeah, Beatle was good for lookin’ at, but I didn’t like to admit just how much I liked to look at ‘er. She’s unclasping her bra slowly, too damn slowly and it’s pissing me off cuz it’s not like it’s something new. I already seen ‘em. But she always has to be a tease about every little fuckin’ thing.
Somethin’ about it is different this time. Maybe cuz its just me and her. And that only happened one other time. That time.
But her tits out now? Just us here, like little fuckin’ kids. I’unno. I try not to dwell, I’m just enjoying seein’ a nice set of tits, right? Skin so pale I know if I ever touched her, the second I did, it would turn red. Nipples almost the same color as her skin, just barely pinker than the rest of her body. A real cocky laugh leaves my throat before I knows it’s coming.
“Happy?” She says, staring me down.
I raise my eyes from her chest to meet her stare, “We done playin’ this stupid game?”
“No. Truth or dare?”
Don’t know why I thought maybe that was the end of the game. Kind of forgot we were playin’. She tries to put her arms up to cover her chest but I grip her wrist and tear it away from her body. No fuckin’ chance was she gonna cover herself up now. She owed it. It was her fuckin’ dare and she wanted to play this stupid game, so she’s gonna play by the goddamn rules.
Her face gets even fuckin’ pinker, and she huffs, forcing her hands to her sides. “Its cold. Truth or dare.” Like I care if she’s cold. It only makes me look down at her chest again. Nipples hard and perfect. Bet that’s why she’d even said it. Bet she’s getting off on the fact that I wanna to see. That she’s making me want it.
I don’t want it. Not in any way she’d want to have it. “Dare.”
As soon as I see that sick smile spread across her face I knew she was gonna say something fuckin’ stupid. Shoulda picked truth. “Take your cock out.”
What the fuck? In between shock, amusement, and anger. Her stupid happy face cracked into the biggest smile I seen on her since the shitty titty. Since she was all moon eyes and dopamine days. “Fuck no.” Obviously not. What the fuck? For what?
“But that’s my dare. It’s the same shit as you telling me to take my tits out.”
Oh.
“Naw ‘snot.” Shaking my head I drink more of the girlwhiskey and hand her the bottle again. Sharing absentmindedly, “I’ve seen your tits like a hundred fuckin’ times. You never seen my cock before.”
“Yeah I have.”
She’s fuckin’ lying. Doesn’t matter, the way she said cock with her tits hangin’ out. The way we’re talkin’ about it. I start thinkin’ about the dumb face she’d make if I did pull it out right now. Thinkin’ about the expression she’d make if I buried it deep inside her, hard and fast and all at once. Thinkin’ bout it makin’ her cry. Fuck.
‘m too drunk for this. Thanking Christ that I’m actually drunk enough not to get a hard-on about it. She wants to talk about my dick? Fine.
“Yeah? When’d ya see it?” I smile and look over at her. Bare chest, vulnerable, eyes lookin’ from side to side tryin’ to come up with somethin’ to say so that I’ll take my fuckin’ dick out, “That’s what I thought.”
“Oh, come on, Daryl, this isn’t fair.” Whining again. Gon’ give her somethin’ to whine ‘bout. Fuck. Stop.
“Why do you wanna see my cock so bad?” Nah, shouldn’t’ve asked that. Too late. Good, made her shut up for a second again.
“Cuz I wanna know if it’s really as small as Merle said it was.”
I laugh back in response. Hard. This little girl was really just sayin’ anything she could. Maybe she wants it.
Don’t know how it took me so long to see it. Guess I always see it. Lately. Since she showed up again. Followin’ me around. Lingering gazes. Dumb shit. Bet this is how she’d act with anyone. Bet this is how she was with Merle when I wasn’t around. Shoulda remembered how slutty and desperate she got sometimes. Almost like a full-on repeat of the last time I saw her.
Threw herself at me like some bitch in heat, like I didn’t catch her with Merle the week before. Like I hadn’t… what the fuck ever. Fuck this little girl and her desperate cunt.
What does she even expect to happen? I pull my dick out? And then what? Dumb little girl doesn’t even know how to seduce a man. Doesn’t make any fuckin’ sense. My head hurts. “Merle didn’t say. that.”
“Yeah he did. Said you had a micropenis. I never seen one before, show me.”
Jesus Christ.
”Merle was fuckin’ with you.”
“Prove it.”
I smile at her sad attempts instead of puttin’ her down like I probably should, “Fine, truth.” Knew I should have just picked truth from the beginning.
“How big is your dick?” She didn’t even need a second to think about it. Like it was the only thing in her stupid fuck-deprived mind, smile back on her face like it never fuckin’ left.
“Shut the fuck up, Beatle.” But I’m still smiling, dragging my smoke, lookin’ at her and her tits out of the corner of my eye. She tries to cover herself up again, and I watch my hand move with a mind of its own to pull her arms back down again. My mouth, with a mind of its own decides to tell her, “It’s big.”
“How would you know? Maybe you should show me.” Jesus Christ, this girl just doesn’t let the fuck up.
“‘M not takin’ my fuckin’ dick out, quit askin’.” Shoving her, harder than I mean to. She goes down to the floor, almost feel bad. But she ain’t even mad.
She’s laughin’ so hard I start laughin’ too. I push her to the ground, deny her pathetic advances, and she’s still laughin’. Goofy. “You tell me your dick is big and expect me to ask less?! Stupid.”
She’s right, was pretty stupid. Don’t even know why I told ‘er. Like somethin’ inside was tryin’ to get out. These thoughts of her lookin’ up from beneath me, stupid face all mixed up in pain and need. Of her doin’ exactly what I ask her to, for fuckin’ once without talkin’ back or fuckin’ whining.
“Share” her voice cuts through my thoughts and her hand is in my fuckin face again. But this time her chest is on full display and I don’t know what the fuck comes over me but I actually give it to her. Fuckin’ tits. The one thing that might actually be able to hypnotize me.
“How big?” I open my eyes to just look at her. Is she serious?
“Thought we were playin’ a game, Beatle.”
“Yeah, I’m trying to. You decided you’re too good for it. Like everything else.”
“Truth ‘r dare?”
“But it’s your turn!”
“Naw, you lost your turn. Truth ‘r dare?”
“Truth.” She says it like she’s so fuckin’ full of herself. Like she tricked me or somethin’.
I take my cigarette back from her and decide to ask her somethin’ I actually wanna know, “You and Merle ever fuck?”
“What?!” Like she’s surprised by the question. Like it hasn’t been plaguing me since I walked in on ‘em, clothes half on - her on her hands and knees on the ground while Merle answers the door. Shouldn’t bother me none, who she slept with back then. Probably fucked every guy in the bar the day I met ‘er. And every guy every time since.
“You and Merle. Right? Obviously. Tsch.” The only thing that was holding me back from already believin’ it is that Merle never acted like a guy that sealed the deal. Always fuckin’ blowing smoke up this bitches ass. You don’t do that if you’ve already stuffed it.
“No.” And she really has the nerve to say it as if she’s disgusted.
“Yeah fuckin’ right.”
“I wouldn’t let Merle suck snake venom out of my tit.” I laugh, and she sounds genuine. But I don’t think I believe her. “Did he tell you we did?” She asks.
“All the fuckin’ time.” I drag my smoke, blowing it out into the air thinkin’ about all the times Merle talked about Beatles sweet pussy. Never believed ‘im at the time, but over the years after she’d disappeared… started to believe it was true. Hell, it woulda made her leavin’ make more sense.
“Well, Merle was fuckin’ with you.” her voice sounds angry, and her fingers are angry when she rips the cigarette right from my lips.
I grab at her wrist before she can bring it to her mouth. Movin’ my face down to her hand, and I take the cigarette back into my mouth. Just barely letting my lips touch her fingers as I do.
She swallows while lookin’ at me, and I feel the tension. Tension I probably woulda got lost in a few minutes ago but now all I can think about is her and Merle. “Saw you in his room once. Half naked on the ground. Don’t fuckin’ lie to me, Beatle.”
I blow the cigarette smoke right in her face. Makin’ me think about her again. Makin’ me remember all that dumb shit that happened before. “Wouldn’t fuck you even if you didn’t fuck my brother.”
“I didn’t - that wasn’t!” She’s panicked, trying to think of some fuckin’ excuse. Some lie.
In her desperation I feel two palms flat on my chest and she actually fuckin’ shoves me, “Hey, watch your fuckin’ hands, slut.”
“Watch your fuckin’ mouth!” And there it is, that fuckin’ voice. Any amount of a good time I’d had been havin’, good and gone. But she just keeps goin’. “Never slept with fuckin’ Merle. Never touched his crusty ass with my fuckin’ pinky.” She stands up, “don’t fuck me, like I give a shit. Micropenis little bitch probably couldn’t even get it up.” Maybe, if she’d said it a few minutes earlier I’d have wanted ta prove her wrong. Maybe if she had some fuckin’ tact or grace or fuckin’ anything a woman was supposed ta have she’d have fished her goddamn wish.
Beatle? Beatle didn’t have two wings to rub together. Beatle didn’t have shit besides an aggressive attitude and a nice rack.
“Definitely couldn’t get it up for you.” I look down the bottle as I drink more, waiting for her shrill-ass reaction.
When I don’t hear nothin’ I look over and there’s that fuckin’ look again. Real tears this time. Drunk bitches. Always doing shit like this.
“Go t’sleep, Beatle, yer drunk.” I’m tryin’ to keep her from cryin’. Last thing I fuckin’ need right now.
She sits down on the other bed, “can I sleep in here?”
“Don’ give a shit where ya sleep s’long as it ain’t with me.”
Beatles face contorts like she’s about to start fuckin’ sobbing, but she stops herself, lowering herself back into the bed. Eyes already closed. “Thanks.” Dumb drunk bitch, fuckin always.
“Whatever.” I stand up off the bed and finish my smoke, putting it out on the dresser. Pacing the room realizing how drunk I really am.
Beatle’s either already asleep or really good at pretending, and she’s pulled the covers up over herself. I walk over to her and pull the sheet down past her breasts before throwing myself in my own bed and passing the fuck out. Beatle was good for lookin’ at. And apparently when I ask her to take off her clothes, she actually listens.
That’s the thought rolling around in my head when I fall asleep. Why did she listen?
pt 4
A/N; sometime around Sophia there will be more revealed about the instances Daryl keeps referring to. There’s the time he found her in Merle’s room half naked, the time she came onto him, and that other time he won’t talk about (the time she was topless and they were alone). EVENTUALLY all this stuff is out in the open, and talked about. Well. Argued about. But. We’ll get there. :)
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