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talesfrommedinastation · 2 months

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My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'Bad Territory'

As a few people have quickly surmised, the Bad Batch episode in which they go to Space Swampy Badtimes and punch gators was going to send Doug over the edge with joy. Y'all right!

So, turn up the CCR to 'Born on the Bayou', and prepare for some of the more unhinged things Doug's texted me.

CW: Little more mild, just excitement. When Doug starts rambling about Cajun food, just click here. He says it's one of the best places for boudin and bbq and they'll even process a deer you found on the highway.

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Episode 8: “::happy Cajun noises::”

Well we back in Space Daytona, outside the HMS Search Warrant because Daddy Rambo can’t afford a trailer now. Does that thing have air conditioning?

Man, Toaster Strudel’s always gone, is he a space trucker now or what.

Oh, man, it’s Church Lady! She don’t seem too upset by Ryan-from-Accounting being somewhere else, fighting the Space Balrog. But we know why she’s not sad.

(Does this involve Mayday?

"Who?"

Sassy Park Ranger?

"Hell yeah it does! He’s her beau."

What about Ryan-from-Accounting?

"I done told you once I tell you again RYAN-FROM-ACCOUNTING DIDN’T DESERVE THAT SMART INDEPENDENT WOMAN NONE!")

Maybe Daddy Warcrimes will hang out with Church Lady and she can double dip with him and Sassy Park Ranger. It’s Thanksgiving, dark meat and white meat are on the plate.

(WTF?!)

Well you know why Church Lady’s the Church Lady? She’s been talking to other church folks and if there’s one person who knows how to get info on people it’s the church ladies. Seriously, how do you think they organize EVERYTHING and know EVERYONE. You think they go to church for Jesus that’s a bald lie up in here.

So Julio fires up the stolen work truck and he and Daddy Rambo are off.

Wait, if that’s their home, where Little Orphan Blondie and Daddy Warcrimes sleeping? The beach? Come on now.

Aw, shit, man, is that THOTH STATION?! Meat Muffin, these show people reading your white trash love story book and made it into reality! They owe you MONEY GIRL! Think they’ll meet Fred Johnson or Anderson Dawes?!

And look it’s CAMINA DRUMMER!

Oh wait no that’s that Chick-that’s-in-Everything! Looks like she’s doing business with the guy Han Solo shot in the club. Think she’s selling him Columbian nose candy?

Well she’s drinking a whole thing of pinot, don’t blame her, I’d be drinking if Daddy Rambo was up in my club whining for names. Go on the Facebook, Daddy Rambo, it’d be easier.

They’re off somewhere else to help the Chick-that’s-in-Everything. OH MY SWEET TITS OF CHRIST THEY IN LOUISIANA AGAIN! IT’S AN OIL REFINERY! No one can breath! They got a PONTOON! Everything’s orange and sticky!

Oh look at them out in them stinky bayous of Terrebonne Parish! Man did they film this entire season in my home state like it’s the first season of True Detective now I wonder. Man that was a good show.

Aw man, mines in the water! It IS TERREBONNE PARISH! “He won’t expect us,” damn right he won’t. The Chick-Thats-In-Everything sure knows her shit. She’s a redneck hunter and the lady’s got grit. I wonder if she’s caught Steven Segal.

There better be OH MAN IT IS!

SPACE GATORS!!!!!

YEAH! PUNCH EM JULIO! SHOOT EM CHICK-THAT’S-IN-EVERYTHING! OH DADDY RAMBO GOT CAUGHT BUT JULIO PUNCHED IT TOO! PUNCHING GATORS AND THROWING KNIVES AND SHOOTING GUNS IN THE BAYOU, MEAT MUFFIN I LOVE THIS DAMN SHOW!!!!!

The only bad thing about this is now I need to go back to Thibodaux to Bourgeois and get some crawfish boudin, maybe some cracklings, some hogshead cheese too.

Daddy Warcrimes is doing that thing where you sit around and breathe. Jenny tells me to do that. I’m like woman I do that every damn day at work what’s the difference now.

They’re at the place–it’s a shack in the woods surrounded by home made bombs and the owner’s armed to the teeth?! MEAT MUFFIN THEY GONE DONE AND FILMED IT AT MY COUSIN CLAYTON'S HOUSE IN TERREBONNE PARISH NOW!!!!

Oh man it ain’t my cousin Clayton whose been weird since he got out of Angola, now they’re hunting Jeff Goldblum from The Fly! Except now he’s a mantis! Hate those things. Jenny set one on fire after she caught it snapping at one of her hummingbirds. That woman, man, you don’t mess with her garden, she’ll take out the hairspray and a lighter and make a torch out of it. Love her. Married two dozen years now.*

Oh! Jeff Goldblum is trying to escape–but the Chick-That’s-In-Everything knows her shit and cuts her own wire to the pontoon! Maybe she IS Camina Drummer after all.

Oh, man, they done got that mantis son of a bitch. Now, back to Thoth Station, and of course, the Chick-That’s-in-Everything ain’t coughing up a dime. Just flings Daddy Rambo right off her ship.

Oh, man, who is she calling?

I hope it’s not Gun-Safety-Muppet, I hate that blue bastard.

*= Jenny is a delight and really does flip from ‘Sweetie, you need to meditate’ to ‘I will set bugs on fire for threatening my birds’. She’s the one who taught Jimmers to corner and kill everything in their yard.

@skellymom @cdblake1565 @sued134 @amalthiaph @yeehawgeek @merkitty49 @eyecandyeoz @isthereanechoinhere96 who else loves Redneck Doug?

If you want to be added, please let me know!

PS- I have his ramblings from the last two episodes, but they were not nearly as deranged as this.

#tbb #cloneforce99 #thebadbatch #the bad batch #redneck doug #cajun doug #doug the neighbor #oh doug #he was so happy guys #so happy #tbb omega #the bad batch season 3 #clone force 99 #fennec shand #tbb wrecker #tbb hunter

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memories-beneath-the-skin · 5 months

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Dad was cheap

Like not funny ha ha cheap.. Like he was, but also wtf infuriating cheap

He would tithe to the church all he felt he should, I mean litterally every few months, they would post in a special bulletin who gave and how much total. Dick measuring to guilt others if I ever saw it. That's the only time I'd hope he had been cheap but no...

He was an LPN, almost RN but he decided not, back in the 70s was a different outlook of those peeps and roles in industry.

I saw his pay stubs after he died when cleaning out his shed.... Naturally that's where they go. I couldn't believe how little he made, so I get frugal, I get I got second hand clothes a huge percentage of time and those handed down to my brother, but he always provided.

Mom didn't work until we were out of the house. Raising two boys and I can tell stories... She SHOULD have been paid... She mentally survived though, I guess you do.

His cheapness didn't affect basic to intermediate auto repairs, my dad had everything done at a shop, I grew up craving to do it, oil/coolant /brake /transmission fluid changing, doing my own brakes, shocks, suspension, most top engine parts, diagnosing electrical and physical gremlins. I still do, not out of necessity but because I enjoy it.

Hurt when I told dad I would do his brakes, he never had me, I would just charge parts, I know where to buy them, just like oil, I can buy great quality brake parts for both axles and come in well under what a shop does mediocre for one axle in price, and they don't treat your car like it's theirs, the tactics in which one needs to remove parts at times with violence I am well versed, as well as taking the time to do it right and careful gets cut sometimes, but I respect it was his choice.

The most cheap thing he did and it pissed me off one time and I finally got him to understand was tipping. Ten dollar meal, 80 cents, 50 dollar meal a few dollars. Now I will say it's up to everyone to tip how they want, and I do agree tipping for things now in some respects are out of control, but I started out as a puppy in the service industry, and while I didn't need to earn tips, I ran the kitchen and interacted directly with those that did and my performance could fuck them from tips and so I made sure I cooked and plated like every meal made was mine.

We were up in Canada, stopped at some strip mall diner, ordered burgers, my dad thought his was not done quite enough, but otherwise everything was fine, we were trying to get to upstate NY to bury my grandmother, his mom and I get maybe he was under duress, but I was too, I was doing all the driving because I love to drive but still it's very long and need to focus too much, people are assholes when you take a nap for a bit driving for some reason, like jeez I get it🤣

I watched my dad get the bill, easiest was to pay with card, and not screw with the did different currencies.

I noticed be put a dash on the tip, just wrote the total on the bottom. Now if it's a place you get your food and no service after I get maybe adjusting.

We got multiple how are things? I had 3 Coca-Colas, he had mutiple cups of coffee, a napkin run.... So.... Was not like the server that ran his card and looked defeated as she watched him sign it deserved it.

We get out side, he's opening door, I stand at curb.

Me : dad wtf was that?

Dad :was what?

Me: why the fuck did you stiff the server

Dad: the burger wasn't that good

Me: so?

Dad: was expensive too

Me: no dad it wasn't, it's in their currency, it's same we pay

Dad: ok, well next time...

Me: next time what? Next time we go here? Have her as a server? Or eat again??

Dad: next time we eat

Me: well we are here now

Dad : we have a schedule

Me: the hell we do, so skip a rest stop if we have to, you know we are arriving over three days before she's buried, don't give me this schedule crap, we stop when we want, and don't push our trips

Dad: what do you want me to do

Me : go in there, tip her, tell her you're an ass or that you forgot, I don't care

Dad: next time

Me :did she do anything wrong with service

Dad :the burger was...

Me: no, not her sorry, go bitch to a manager or call the prime minister or something, that was the cook...

Dad : well my coffee mug had something on it

Me: ok.. Hey excuse me miss, can you flog the dishwasher or please get me another mug, somehow this one isn't clean...

Dad: ok! (opens up wallet) all I have is a 10 and hundreds, I will get change next stop....

Me: and drive back and tip her?

Dad : that's absurd

Me: (opening up my wallet) well I only have 20s, that's fine, but if you make me be the one to walk in and do it I am walking away

Dad : son you won't walk off

Me: yes, we both paid our own meals, I tipped her very well for mine, I am good walking to grandma's, not like if I don't make it she would know

Dad : you don't have the money...

Me : don't care I'll sell my body to science or give handjobs, but riding with you that can't understand the principle of the structure and your issues are mechanisms to justify not spending more than the tab, I have watched you for years, you get up from table and mom ends up digging money out of purse and laying tip at the table.

Dad : she doesn't...

Me :the fuck she don't, call her. She just laughs and says... That's your father... I'm not laughing

Dad : (walks into restaurant hands woman the 10 and she smiles)

*walking back to car*

Me: dad I know I was a dick, and I love you, but you irk me

Dad : I know, your mother got mad last week over same thing

Me: good

Dad: besides I need you to ride with me, no one wants your calloused hands giving hand jobs

*laughter *

He got better as he aged, helped I think to have kids move out of house, mom started working a bit after we moved out and food bill fell 🤣, he would ask me and mom what would be a good tip for the meal and service, for years he tried to wrap his mind around how I tipped, service not based on tab. Eat at a diner, server runs their ass off for you, 25 dollar tab, verses same effort from high end restaurant and they should get more? No... So I tip high compared to low tabs and normal for high, dad never understood how for a 12 dollar meal, I'd give 10 tip, not about the price to me.

As he aged he started to throw his money around more, but still had moments.

I remember the car accident, one I wrote about a while back, just out of Sudbury, Canada

Flipped the car, destroyed the vehicle, the car top carrier, the only time we brought our bikes to grandmas the were hanging off the back and trashed, mom had a concussion, Justin had a broken collar bone, so much lost and broken and he said... I just filled up the tank 20 miles back... Dang it should have waited.

#writers on tumblr #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #dad things #personal

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a-chaotically-small-lunta · 2 months

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Had another wild dream

There was a festival, the biggest one of the year. Where everyone comes together to celebrate. Everyone in this world has a hidden ability, like a talent but a bit more magical. This celebration shows off the most magical of them all, like the one who can take reindeer by just touching them, or the dude who can play any instrument without ever seeing said instrument before, etc etc. some are simple powers like reading fast, or able to draw anything, or even just a very good worker, but apparently I don’t have an ability and am seen as worthless. Anyway, There are many people who are invited to this festival, but in this world there are monsters, who trap and kill people in many different ways. This is important for later. Each person invited to the festival, if they are related to one of the performers, must help out in some way shape or form. Last year I tried and failed to help, by being the end flag for the army race, where the soldiers who are invited, race to see who is the fastest. I was told to hold the flag and change it when 10, 20, 30, minutes have passed, while also stopping the clock when the winner passes me. However they never told me that last part and I got in trouble. So this year they want me to just hold a plate of mashed potatoes and hand it out.

So while we are waiting for things to start we need to find our seats. Me and my siblings are sat somewhere up higher, however there are only three seats. So I’m told to just “sit near them” on the ground, but don’t literally sit on the ground cause it’ll make the place look bad. After I join the walk with my mashed potatoes, about half way through I’m out and tell the Sargent and he says “we’ll go get more from up front” which btw this walk is like walking around a mega church building. So yeah, I get pissed and walk back with everyone looking at me. I get back and decide fuck it I’m going to just sit and not do anything. So I climb in the seats where my siblings are, get yelled at by a dude who I have to pass by when getting to these seats cause “you should know better than to walk on my seat” bro it’s literally the only way to the other seats, if you know another path please show me. He just grumbles and says that I should know of another path. I ignore him and get to the seats and stand nearby cause my sibs are sitting there. The show starts then and that’s my siblings cue to leave their seats so they can be carried away to perform. So I’m left in the middle of the path that also acts as the stage and I just quickly get over to the side cause wtf else do I do. Only to get reprimanded by my aunt and mother that “I should be in my seat and not basically on the stage” I just glare at them and say “well maybe somebody should make sure there are ENOUGH seats for us then” only for them to say that there were and that I’m being unhelpful and just want to complain. I finally snap and just walk along the path/stage, backwards. I’m heading to my car and just running away cause I can’t deal with these shits.

Anyway, Remember the monsters? Once outside I see a few roaming around, they are different sizes and different creatures. I don’t care and just keep walking. Apparently last year I ran into one, it grabbed me and I thought that was it, but it just rubbed my head and cooed before putting me down, chasing another person, and then eating them. So I didn’t care cause I felt pretty safe around them, which is saying something when the step on a car and it explodes.

I’m making my way to my car when I hear that apparently my family is looking for me already. I’m like “shit” so start running across the town/city to get to my car. But once again the town is being swarmed by monsters. I get to an area where this grass tentacle monster thing is sitting, and there’s a group of others trying to figure out how to pass it with getting caught. I tell them just don’t get hit by the end of the grass thorn tentacle thing, cause that’s what’ll grab you, as I start causally climbing over the already grown tentacles. A few tentacles have fallen apart and I grab a few and say “check this out” before chucking them into a body of water. The tentacle then grow and form another monster, the exact same kind of monster that we just passed. I rub it’s little head and say it’s a good boy and needs to stay there until it’s big enough to leave the pond. The group is horrified that I just made more monsters and most run away from me in fear.

The more brave parts of the group quickly joins me and hopes I can get them to safety and I mention that the house next to the library has a spell on it that repels all monsters, and that I’ll be walking in that direction anyway so they can join me. Anyway we continue walking through the snow and crowds of people who are scurrying off to do whatever when another monster appears. This one is a classic giant who is seen chasing someone, he sees me and for a brief second considers going for me before returning to his original target. I don’t get to see if he successfully catches them or not.

Eventually we get to the house and I drop them off before going to the library cause it’s a bit closer to my destination. I get yoinked in by someone who is panicking cause there’s a monster running the library. I look over and it’s this little sand vampire lady monster. I recognize her cause a few years back she successfully trapped me in her sandpit. She started sucking out my youth before stopping and realizing that I wasn’t getting older, but she was still getting younger. She is confused and asks what’s going on and I just shrug and say that I have no idea but if she want she can keep trying until she feels she is at the youthful age she wants. She does and I still don’t age, I then tell her if she acts human and doesn’t attack anyone else, that I’ll help her maintain her youth…at least until I die. She agrees and starts to work in the library. She looks human but if you look closely you see her skin is actually sand. Anyway the person is freaking out and I just say hi to the librarian and ask how it’s going. She said fine and that she needs a little pick me up, so I allow her. Much to the horror of the other person.

We chat for a bit before another smaller monster runs in and grabs me and the shocked person shouting that another giant monster needs a sacrifice. He is this fur covered monster with horns and he rushes out, despite the librarian’s shouts. Then we see the a new monster, this giant tall skinny monster, their skin swirling with different darker colors (like dark blue, deep violet, black, and a hint of dark green too)

That’s when the monster carrying us puts us down and is about to shout at this bigger monster that he brought a sacrifice but freezes for two reasons, 1: monsters are not against attacking smaller monsters and mr fluff here was hoping to get on this big dudes good side but just witnessed the big guy rip another monster apart, and 2: he looks at me and says that I shouldn’t be there and that he messed up by bringing me. I’m still confused before it clicks in my brain. I’m not useless, I do have an ability and a very rare one at that. I have a monster ability, it’s why I don’t get attacked, it’s why I can walk by them, it’s why they hesitate and change their mind, it’s why their attacks don’t affect me and why I know so much about them despite not seeing some of these monsters. I stare at the monster who was holding me cause we both realized what I am, just then the giant dark creature is looking at us with bright violet eyes. I’m not scared and walk forward placing my hand in the middle of his face… I then wake up.

#dream I had #one time i dreamt #dreams #wild dream #I mean i felt so useless at the beginning and everyone told me so #but the second the monsters got involved it was like I was important #they respected me and didn’t treat me as nothing despite the fact that they literally did that to everyone else #and that everyone else did that to me #at first I thought that because everyone saw me as useless or not worthy that the monsters thought the same thing #but then I thought that maybe they were seen as terrible and when they see me they see a kinship of some kind #but then I realized it was just my ability to be able to hang out with monsters without them killing me #which is very nice #also most of the monsters were huge monsters and it was kinda awesome to see #there were a few I forgot to mention in the post #like the more fleshy monster that picked the lock with its gross hands when we got to another building #or the giant version of the furry monster who looked through the open door at us when I entered the library #overall pretty cool dream that I thought would be just a depressing dream where I’m ridiculed but my dream said SIKE you important #weird lesson in there: you aren’t useless even if everyone says you are cause they don’t know what you’re capable of

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dootznbootz · 4 months

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The dumb and sweet story about my Papa

To get around the "Don't drink and drive" in my area back in the day, a lot of people would ride horses to the bars and back home. There was even a "horse parking lot". Horses remembered their way home from town as it was common to go back and forth even when not going barhopping.

This is incredibly dangerous and don't EVER do this but a lot of folks would get drunk and then hop up on their horse and go home that way. Sometimes needing to have their buddies toss them up on their horse, (sometimes having a rope to tie them on. Again very fucking dangerous.) and the horse would usually go back home from memory. Horses want their food and their friends. Ofc, some horses were naughty but this is just what my Papa (grandpa) told me. People usually would plan it out where "Hey, I'm going to get sloshed tonight, can you pull me off of Butch and take me into the house?"

My Papa didn't do this often (his brother did it more) but this is the one story with my grandma.

One late afternoon, my grandma came home from chores to see my Papa on his big, buckskin gelding, Butch, wearing nice clothes, and having a mess of flowers in his lap but swaying. He was drunk. My grandma was so mad at him as "WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE? And why are you drunk?!"

He was slurring and she needed her sister to help her carry him into the house where they tossed him on their couch. She was getting him water and thankfully her parents were pretty chill and let him stay. She was scolding him when he suddenly grabbed her arm and asked "Marry me?". She said "Yeah, sure, whatever. Hold still" and he just flopped back on the couch. She didn't think anything of it as he was drunk.

Ofc, when he woke up he was hungover. But he was still really happy and was telling my grandma that he thinks they should have their wedding in this church as they're more relaxed, that they'll plan a date around the harvest, that he's been fighting his mom for his grandma's ring (My papa and grandma were from different wealth and social classes and his family did NOT like her.) My grandma was confused af. Where did this come from?

"You said yes? I asked you to marry me and you said yes?"

My Papa is a quiet man (sounds like he was incredibly shy in his youth too) and apparently was so nervous about asking my grandma to marry him that he needed "liquid courage" before he went to see her but had too much. :')

He wanted to give her a romantic "prince on horseback". He had flowers too but they fell out of his lap. Apparently, they found a lot of them on the side of their road on the way to her house. While my grandma was a little mad at him, she says how she should've known as she's always been the "talker" between the two of them. They've been together for around 62 years and are still loving.

Side story: I mentioned how my papa's brother did the whole "Ride a horse home when very drunk" often. My Papa was often the guy who would stay up late til he got back... Sometimes my Papa would be mad at him and just toss him into the wheelbarrow that had the mucked-up straw to sleep and then just took care of Butch before heading back into the house. 🤷

#my papa isn't doing too well so I just wanted to share :'D #these aren't the grandparents that have the wild shit with the communism and indentured servitude I mentioned before haha #That's on the OTHER side. I DO still plan to write that all out but I have to look through the book my other grandma wrote first.#these two have...other wild shit but that mostly has to do with the whole 'you're not good enough for my son' bullshit #Mad rambles

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slickshoesareyoucrazy · 3 months

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A little over a week ago I made a post here about sobbing crying because I couldn't text A when I was nervous, and everything was hard.

Well today I'm not crying, but I'm going to make another one about not being able to text him about good stuff. I'm just going to write what id have texted him here without context and exposition, so it won't mean anything to anyone but me here. But I want to tell someone, so here we go.

J and the Boy and I went to see D's daughter play basketball in the high school district tournament tonight. Holy shit, man, she's so good. She won the division 1 award for Ms. Hustle. I know that's not surprising really, because she's D's daughter and all but still. Awesome.

B was there too, and D's wife and both D's son and B's son. Our family sat in between D and B and we got commentary and play-by-play in stereo and it was hilarious. They played our old high school, and the head girls' coach now dressed up like he would be on TV for the NCAA tournament or something and D and B would not let it go. "Look at Coach over here, taking it serious with his vest and tie and his church shoes on." 😂😂😂😂😂

Our old high school's band straight up played Cherry Poppin' Daddies' Zoot Suit Riot. The whole song. Made me think about you big time. Swing at the high school game. If they start playing ska I'm gonna die. 😂😂😂

D's daughter's team was up 30 at halftime. They put the JV kids in the whole second half and still extended the lead. So of course then D and B were loud and vocal at the opposing coach to let the bench kids play. "Come on, Coach! Let 'em get a little court time. Rest the starters. At least let 'em take the workout shirts off!" (Dude, he didn't let the bench kids play even down 40+ with 2 minutes to go. WTF?!)

D's son stood up and applauded his sister until she was totally off the court and D and his wife both filmed him doing it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥹 J and I told the Boy, "See? Every parent does it." The Boy said, "That still doesn't make me like it." 😂😂😂❤️

Tonight was a really good night, man. And I'm a little weepy about shit now but I'm not really sad. I'm just thinking that I literally had all of my most favorite people around me tonight except you. I wish you were there.

But you were sort of there, weren't you? Zoot Suit Riot? Really? 😂😂😂😂😂 That fucking song will be in my head all night now. (For real if a high school band plays Adam Ant's Goody Two Shoes or Reel Big Fish's Sell Out or a They Might Be Giants song with a bunch of horn in it at a game before this season is over, I'm just assuming that's definitely you at the game with us.)

Still miss you all the time. But tonight was good. So I'm telling you about it. ❤️

#personal #grief #still cried but I'm not sad #I'll always miss him but tonight was good

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kipowolfton · 2 months

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I'm thinking abt my vase of flowers and my ADHD ass switched to depressing memories I just uncovered with my mother wtf man why do I think so fast 😭😭😭😭😭

might delete later 🥺👉👈

also trigger warning

like seriously I'm fucked up

So basically, I have this vase in my room. It's always been there. A pearly white vase with flower shaped mounds (I think it'd be called?) all over it. inside this vase is a variety of flowers

a bouquet I caught at a wedding when I was 9

a flower pen from my best friend

the flower shaped pendulum from the cuckoo clock that was on my wall that I had an unexplainable and irrational fear of

a glowstick dandelion from a Wednesday night at church.

now onto the mom part

the bouquet. It was fine. My mother decided one day that it was not. She grabbed it out of the vase and tried to leave my room with it, I asked her what she was doing and she fell something along the lines of trimming it to make it fit better

it fit perfectly. It was fucking fine. i told her no, she still tried to leave, I grabbed her arm, she tried to pull away, I told her not to cut the flowers, she hit my hand off of her and stormed off. She came back with scissors and cut about 2 inches off the bottom of the fake stems.

I was pissed. Fuming. angry. The flowers were intact,yes, but. why did she still cut the handle? Why did she do that? I told her no.I wanted them the way they were, it was fine! There was nothing wrong with them! She didn't listen to me. She never does. and so I did what my autistic ass body tells me to do when experiencing anger

I sat there, and I sobbed. I cried. I bawled. I wasn't a little kid, I just couldn't take it. she put on a worried look and tried to console me. I told her to get the hell out. She said that it was better and that no damage had been done, the flowers were alright, and that I was overreacting and that she didn't know why I was so upset. I told her to go away.

and, now, thinking of it reminds me a lot of my life now. Except I'm the flowers in the vase in my bedroom. How I'm never good enough,and I still need trimming. Even if the flowers were factory made and perfectly designed, they weren't good enough, even in a place where they shouldn't matter to her. like how I'm woken up each day with anger. I can't wake up on a Saturday and ask to go back to sleep without being yelled at, how every morning she wakes me up yelling at me and patronizing my smell and breath despite the fact I haven't had the time to put my god damned glasses on. how I'm an unhealthy eater and need to eat healthier foods and less sugars and shit, and how I need to exercise more and how im getting chubby when i am very underweight and barely eat at all. She tells me things about my body. Like my ass is to big and that my chest is developing like hers were. She tells me I have her body. She tells me I looked like she did when she was in high school. How I have her legs, how I have her arms,hands,feet, etc. i remember when I was little and my hair was in curly blonde ringlets, she'd put our hair together and tell me how alike we were. Tell me how beautiful I was and how beautiful she used to be.

she dyes her hair blonde.she curls it too.

also would probably be a good time to tell you I'm fucking adopted. she is my biological grandmother.

my biological mother couldn't deal with her shit and chooses being homeless on the other side of the country, (she's also wheelchair bound) instead of even saying hello to me once, or coming to stay, only because she can't stand that woman's shit.

I see why.

and it's all perfectly, beautifully, and painfully displayed with the trimming of the fake pink roses

#Oh no another Kipo rant #God help me #Tw

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dio-the-thot-exterminator · 2 months

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I feel so weird and like I'm doing something wrong?? My Boss manager always being so passive aggressive to me or maybe I'm just not used to ppl being so stupid.

She's like "you NEED to be selling the credit cards more. You know we base your scheduling on how many credit card u sell and if you don't have high numbers then when I start hiring new people..."

HIRING WHO?????? HIRING WHOO???? Id like to see all the people you’re hiring hmm? Where? You can barely keep ur own managers from constantly calling out of work. So ur forced to do 60 hr work weeks every month. I know u ain't talking to me And the other two associates always call out or don't show up so I have to come and cover for them…I KNOW YOU AIN'T TALKING TO ME!??!??!?!?

"Your job is to sell the stuff at the counter and credit cards" ok then why am I sweeping the floors and cleaning the bathrooms and wiping the mirrors and pricing merch and tagging and taking out the trash and dusting and packaging online orders etc?

She like "even tho ur just an associate u NEED to be reading the emails everyday" girl how is knowing what the stores over n Texas and Florida make gon help me 💀 She acts like she got hella people on stand by bitch u dont she tryna lecture telling me I need to do more... All you do is talk on the phone and ask ppl to join ur church.

She be in the corner somewhere on the phone and the customers are like "um...excuse me?" And she ignored them so I gotta help them. Even tho she tasked me with scanning all the fucking items in the store!!

And she literally told me "u need to pay attention more to the customers YOU'RE NOT HERE TO COMPLETE TASKS!!!" AHHHHHHUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH what do you mean???????? Wtf am i here for then??

I'm bout to snap on her fr maybe I'm too combative… she got me pushing around this chart.

She was like complaining "uh make sure you fix that bcuz y'all like to leave it a mess 😒" And I was bout to say "bitch who tf is y'all??????" I KNOW how you are and I know you complain about every lil thing, so whenever i'm pushing that chart around it be looking neat and tidy and I put it back like that too.

I'm da best employee she has!!! My other managers Jays and Red were literally like “ugh we were so lucky to have found you” and the other day a customer had came back into the store to tell my manager Red what a good job i did helping her find what she needs and being accommodating…The other associates dont do shit.

The college girl who barely works saw a box all messed up, she tried to quickly close the top (didn't work) and then she just walked away. I was like "um aren't u gon fix that?" And she was like "oh yeah right" Like??? And all she does is stand behind da counter. The store be a mess and she be standing.

The phone guy just be on his phone and he be chilling in da back. I know u are not on my case. when u let a whole ass employee stay in the break room his entire shift 💀.

I feel like she get someone sort of power trip off it and she just needs someone to terrorize and she choose me because I'm always there 🥲 (this is the reward i get for being a real ass employee??)

Boss manager was like "I'm going to start quizzing you guys on what was in the manual bcuz y'all act like talk forgot, you NEED to be following them!!" Girl still on shit from da "training" videos. Shit she don't even follow…

Yesterday she was like, “go reprice the entire clearance section, make sure you don't leave the chart out!!! Every Time someone walks in the store, put the chart back and greet them!!! (she's standing next to the entrance doing nothing) Well this NEEDS to be done before your shift ends so get it together hurry up!!! And you can actually leave the chart out when u need to ring someone up on the register (she is one the phone and didn't notice someone standing there) OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT GUY NEEDS HELP!!! HELP HIM!!! GOOOO!!! AND TAKE THE CHART WITH YOU!!!!! OMG OMG STOP STOP LEAVE THE CHART HELP THAT GUY NOWW UGHHHHHHH!!!!!" and she is...standing there doing nothing...he walked up to her first bcuz she was closer…

Its so awkward asking someone to apply for the credit card, bcuz the boss manager expects you to harass every customer (she literally follows them around the store and asking them repeatedly to sign up i counted once…she asked one person 7 times) AND it's not even only the credit card, it's everything in the damn store. AND she only wanted 1 person on the register even when its rlly busy, trying to sell everything in the store…. (you guys only 2 people are allowed in the ENTIRE STORE one associate and one manager bcuz the company wants to be cheap)

It's like the customer places whatever they’re buying down and I have to say “hey this thing is buy one get on half if you're interested, and we have this item on sale, also if you wanted any of these items they’re behind you. Do you want any of this? I can show you the different ones we sell. And we have this too. I can help you pick out the one you need. We also have a credit card, if you want, you'll earn coupons and get a discount off today's purchase :D"

And she wants us, to say that, TO EVERY SINGLE CUSTOMER!! Everyone…

So it gets so awkward asking, especially if they are just buying like one little item. And to make things worse she's so nitpicky about everything like I was asking if they wanted to join our rewards and she was like "ugh if you ask it like that of course they're gonna say no!!!" And then she...didn't give me a way I should ask them…

I just nod and say "okay" whenever she starts ranting. She just get on my nerves a lot but that's also bcuz ima hater. Idk i feel like i do everything correctly and efficiently so idk why my managers are always attacking or complaining about me.

Can I pleaseeeee have a job where I only need to complete tasks??? Where are those jobs?? Someone point me in the right direction

#bobs files #keep playing with me #grown ass woman #you give old people a bad name #this why you gon be stuck in retail till the day you uahfjvksjgrjsjgvagmesh #lemme not wish ill on da elderly

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gabessquishytum · 1 year

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I had an idea for a priest!Hob and demon!Dream au that I just had to share. I was thinking about Catholic theology while watching a ghost hunting video that involved demons (as one does), and it got me thinking. So if hell is supposed to be the absence of god, and god is supposed to be essentially the personification of love, then wouldn't the best protection from demons would be to push your fear aside and choose to love and want the best for them? Which this train of thought of course led me to dreamling.

So basically Hob is a preist who for some reason, has recently been dealing with random supernatural occurrences. Like random knocks, sometimes he wakes up with scratches, sometimes he hears footsteps in the hallway, once he even saw a shadow figure. Now to start he's pretty content to deny that anything is happening. Around the same time, this impossibly beautiful man starts hanging around I guess the church, though he never actually enters the sanctuary. Now Hob is completely baffled by this man because he seems to know theology pretty well but is unashamedly flirting with Hob and Hob is confused cause well he's a priest. This man, Hob soon learns his name is Dream, is also very scornful of religion and it's not too long before Hob gets the distinct impression that Dream is trying to get Hob to sleep with him and trying to lead Hob astray. At first Hob is a bit angry and confronts Dream about it. Dream gets defensive and says something about that Hob's god won't him from the demon that's been haunting him. Hob goes pale. He never told anyone that there'd been anything supernatural, because he seemed to be the only one experiencing anything. So he thought that he must be imagining things. How could Dream know. Dream realizes that he fucked up and leaves.

It takes some time for Hob to process the whole thing but after lots of thinking and maybe some praying cause wtf he's pretty sure the pretty man who's been flirting with him is an actual demon, he calms down a bit. Hob does a mental run through of every demonic incident that he's had since Dream started hanging around, he also thinks about his interactions with Dream. Dream just seemed so intelligent and funny. He was prone to lashing out and Hob had witnessed him say cruel things before, but Hob had been sure that there's more to him than that. After all, most cruelty comes from pain. But after thinking everything through, Hob is pretty sure that Dream didn't want to hurt him. And Hob comes to a similar conclusion as I did and that the best thing to protect yourself from a demon or even to heal the demon is to love them.

So the next time Dream shows up, Hob welcomes him with open arms and invites him for dinner at his house. Dream is very confused. Over the next few months, Dream lashes out a lot in ways that he didn't before Hob started being extra kind to him. Hob is very patient, he never forces Dream to go anywhere or do anything doesn't want to and never invites him to mass like he might have before because well, Dream's a demon. Eventually Dream accepts that apparently he has a friend who's a preist now. Which is not really something demons are supposed to do, but then again, Lucifer became the devil cause he rebelled and broke the rules, so why should Dream listen to the rules here?

About a year or so into this new arrangement, about a year and a half after they met, Dream starts to change visibly. He's fallen rather ill and is weaker than he ever was, but at the same time was also visibly happier. Dream, in one of the rare times that he talked about his emotions, confided in Hob that he was having more and more trouble returning to hell and was less and less welcomed there by other demons. Hob for his part was struggling with his chosen path in life. The stress of running a church was getting to him and most of the time he'd rather be with his friend who he had offered his home to if he didn't want to go back to hell (Dream wouldn't admit it but he didn't really want to go back). Hob was also rather frustrated with the way the Catholic church was run at times, as much as he believed in the theology behind it, there were lots of things, such as the church's stance on trans people and abortion, that he just couldn't stand anymore. He also more or less had a crush on his demon friend.

It becomes clear soon enough that Dream is losing some of his demonic abilities. Like he can't change his appearance as easily as he used to, now he's stuck between his demon form and his human form that he's had trouble alternating between (maybe also his cat form too cause imagine him stuck as meowpheus). But at the same time, he's not as weak anymore, he's in less pain than he became a demon, and the biggest difference is that he's happier. Of course he does have an existential crisis because of the whole thing and is not sure why it's happening. Hob, who by this time had basically decided that he was going to stop being a priest explains his theory to Dream. Dream being Dream of course responds with something along the lines of "I was not made to be loved" and Hob is like, "I don't care, I love you anyway" and kisses him right then and there. When Hob has to breathe, Dream admits that he loves Hob too and that he shouldn't be able to and it's against his nature and he can't change and YET he does love Hob and he has changed.

Hob soon formally quits being a priest and Dream becomes less and less demonic as time goes on (except when they have sex, Hob is certain that Dream still is part demon but only when they're having sex) and he and Dream run away together happily ever after.

Anyway, enjoy this random idea that popped into my head today

I'm getting Good Omens vibes, which is probably because the season 2 trailer arrived today! But also because I love the idea of a domesticated demon. 10/10, great trope. Especially if the demon still has a demon form. With a lovely eldritch tongue.

Also: Hob rejecting the Catholic Church and choosing love and worship and belief on his own terms? Fantastic, sexy, I love it. Thank you so much for sending this, it's a great addition to the demon!Dream saga!

#the sandman #dreamling #cw religious themes

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300iqprower · 2 years

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So I was playing Elden Ring and just noticed how every boss is literally weakened by the passage of time. Is this a thing in all Fromsoft games? Elden Ring is the first one I've played and it's fascinating how Fromsoft made it a point to show bosses facing their end because they've been eroded by time.

Is that a thing mechanically? Like I know its open world so do the bosses you choose to do later get scaled down/dont scale to your new level to make it so the later you do a boss the weaker they are? If that's what you mean, no that is an Elden Ring thing.

If you mean lorewise, does the game show how these are ancient beings who are long past their prime and at best a hollow shell of what they once were pretending to be the legend described, oh yes that is very much a FromSoftware thing. And I dont know WHY IN GOD’S NAME I felt a need to systematically break down some examples, but I super did. So here we fcking go. [BUT THATS YOUR TLDR: “YES.” WTF IS WRONG WITH ME THE REST OF THIS IS LIKE 4K WORDS. Oh and sorry in advance for the length before the break but it only lets ya put one Keep Reading i guess...]

Gonna put a spoiler break only later on for heavy spoilers. In the meanwhile there will be light spoilers for Dark Souls 1, 2, 3, and Bloodborne. There will be no Elden Ring or Sekiro spoilers in this post (albeit only cause I've avoided spoiling myself as much as possible on both lol)

Again, the answer is basically “yes.” Like, that is Fromsoft design 101. That has been the core philosophy of every final boss across Dark Souls, Demon's Souls, and Bloodborne. Hell, most bosses in the series in general. It's even a thing in Sekiro, albeit a lot of it is presented very differently (As far as I am anyways. See above.)

> Light spoilers for Bloodborne follow.

Father Gascoigne, the first mandatory boss of Bloodborne, sets the tone very well for this sort of thing. Hunters are very clearly supposed to be the ones who keep order and cull the insane and the beasts during the Night of the Hunt, and when you encounter the only named Hunter thus far it starts out exactly like that, finding a priest in a graveyard with the same weapons you start with, dressed similarly to the default Hunter's attire and hacking at a beast...except, it becomes immediately apparent that it’s already long dead, less a hunter killing prey and more a butcher obsessed with a carcass. Upon noticing you, a fellow hunter, he says “Beasts All Over The Shop…..You’ll be one of them….Sooner Or Later….”

before turning around and revealing he's blindfolded as he lets out a raspy, feral growl. ...And then halfway through the fight he turns into a fucking werewolf.

Yeah, despite being a Fromsoft game, Bloodborne is very quick to make clear what's going on in it. Between the insane mob of villagers, the werewolves running around, the giant roaring abomination that's supposedly a Cleric, and now the first fellow hunter you meet (one working for the Church that is supposed to be the governing authority no less) is as crazed as the beasts themselves and several times as deadly in his brutality, this is clearly a place that has gone to hell long ago, and Gascoigne already told you why: "Sooner or later, you'll be one of them too." Between Gascoigne turning into a beast moments after telling us we'll eventually be one ourselves, and the cryptic lines from our hub dream world about how this is all happened before and is a tradition that will continue, it's pretty clear Bloodborne is about ‘he who fights monsters’ in the most literal sense, and it demonstrates that by having you fight people who have been fighting monsters for far too long to hold onto who they were. This world where crusading hunters once took up arms to defend their home from a plague of beasts are now as bloodlusted as the beasts themselves, to the point where the second mandatory boss ALSO transforms from human to monster before our eyes.

It's really the DLC that goes all in on this idea though. without properly spoiling anything (this is all stuff that is literally in the official description and its CALLED The Old Hunters), names that you heard lauded as great heroes finally make their appearance proper...but as twisted and broken beings who bear no resemblance to their legends and every resemblance to the things they were meant to destroy.

> Light to moderate spoilers for DS3.

You know how Elden Ring does that thing at the start where it shows you all these long fallen characters you yourself will eventually encounter and stuff? Yeah that’s something of a staple of Fromsoftware, specifically what they did with DS1 and 3. While 1 is a lot more coy about it and waits til like the halfway point, though, 3 makes it clear it’s doing the same thing DS1 did right out the gate. “The world is dying, you’re gonna face these guys, and you’re gonna catch on quick they’re all mere shadows of the legends they’re meant to be, in fact we are literally telling you this in the intro.”

And much as I love taking any chance whatsoever to rave about how the best boss in the entire series is The Abyss Watchers, it’s actually everyone’s favorite DS3 meme Yhorm the Giant who takes it. He’s possibly the most built up of all the bosses: Last of the giants and their king, a being who can’t even be killed by the weapons of men, a descendant of a conqueror and a warriors king in his own right...now nothing but a mindless, burnt out husk quietly waiting for death on a subconscious level. He once wielded a greatshield but now two-hands his sword, having long since stopped acting as a ruler in the face of all he’s lost and becoming nothing more than a weapon. Long ago he would give the Storm Ruler, the giant-slaying sword, to those who did not trust him to rule as an act of honor; now it lies carelessly strewn alongside his throne, and Yhorm will attempt to crush you long before you reach it. His one friend Siegward joins you because he knew from the start Yhorm would be like this, and seeks to put the husk out of its misery, even if it costs him his life. Siegward makes clear he would rather die than let his once friend Yhorm spiral ever further into a decay that he is too great to be consumed by yet not great enough to escape, and that’s the entire point. Greatness is a curse, not a blessing. Immortal Life can do nothing to stop the world around you from succumbing to erosion and decay. Just as Yhorm awoke from kindling to find his people still suffered, just as his empire inevitably fell and left him alone, so too did the entire world begin to die as the fire faded ever further. Hollowing is inevitable, because you will always be powerless against entropy in the end. Yhorm knows this beyond any other Lord of Cinder. Whereas the others all went astray in their selfishness or simply went insane from corruption, Yhorm is the one who truly despaired and simply...gave up, on trying to hold onto what he was. His body persisted as a hollowed husk of a once incredible being, but the mind within it died in the face of an immutable reality. Even in gameplay he’s just a walking shell, one of the easiest boss fights in sosulborne history thanks to him having kept a weapon designed for killing him at his side; the Storm Ruler isn’t some measly damage buff against an enemy type, this thing kills him in like 5 hits. From the start you weren’t ‘fighting’ something that was meant to be fought, but to be put down.

> Moderate spoilers for DS1 (middle third of the game or so)

DS1 arguably has the most wide scale example of this, since the entire point of the game is that every major boss is a once great god gone astray, and you have an entire city demonstrating this. At the start of the game we’re shown all these incredible being of old, and it’s made out as if we’re watching legends who created the world give us context on our upcoming adventure. These beings are made out as distant entities so much greater than any of us, meant to be acted in the name of as we kill dragons and stuff. But then, around the third to halfway point, it becomes clear we’ll be fighting them ourselves, and these ‘distant almighty gods’ have fallen from their glory and become what are simply more monsters to be cut down. Nito the lord of the dead is least changed but acts entirely in self interest at this point, dwelling the dark catacombs after imposing the very concept of death onto the world and not caring the slightest for what came after, to the point that what truly weakens him is not Pinwheel’s fucking about, but rather the sheer energy he is putting out to impose the concept of death onto an ever more undead world. The Witch of Izalith? Where to start, how about the fact that in her hubris of thinking she could recreate the first flame, that as a being who had lost their glory she could simply recreate that glory, she turned herself into a horrid abomination and shit-tier boss fight? Because of COURSE that happened. How could you reclaim the height of your power when even at the height of your power you could not hold onto it? How about Seath? Oh the things to say about Seath, what can we call him? Cruel, Jealous, Spiteful, literally and figuratively jaded, insane, pathetic, but of all the things we can call him those things are not “glorious” or “immortal”. He became desperate for the immortality he supposedly “proved” he didnt need by killing his scaled brethren. From declaring he did not need his peers’ immortality, to going insane over his obsession with cloying at whatever possible escape from death there might be.

From Nito’s indifference to Izalith’s hubris to Seath’s madness, they are all fallen in their own way. All their attempts to hold onto their glory only serve to further remove them from it. So many millennia and the god of Death has only become weaker as the world dies. The Witch’s magic that is meant to bend chaos to its will could only damn its wielder in the face of nature’s course. The crystal dragon’s immortality is exactly that: crystal, the fruits of his cruelty and madness nothing more than a feeble crystal easily shattered.

But to loop it all back around, it’s the final bosses of the series who really hammer the theme of ‘faded glory’ home.

> Major spoilers for DS1, DS2, and Demon’s Souls to follow, starting with DS1.

First though....Hey remember that bit I casually dropped about an entire city? You arrive to Anor Londo, carried from desolate undead asylum or the dregs of Blighttown to a great golden city illuminated perpetually by the sunset, powerful knights and cleric giants all over the place, lightning and miracle using enemies whose powers are synonymous with Gwyn’s legacy, and at the end of that gauntlet are Ornstein and Smough in their golden armor and every bit tough and lively as their legends portray. Beyond them, you meet the beautiful Gwynevere who gives you the Lordsoul to truly start your quest for the gods in linking the flame. Even if the gods are all fallen or helpless on their own, we can at least see the legacy they created and hopefully spread through the land. We can at least bring this light back to the rest of the world, knowing it can still be sustained.

Except, that was a lie. It was all a fucking lie.

A lie orchestrated by one feeble god desperate to maintain a literal illusion of his family’s grandeur. A god whose main tactic should you fight him is to run away forever in an endless hallway and blast you with magic because he’s otherwise powerless against a simple human. Should you find and successfully kill Gwyndolin, the magic he cast over the city fades, and we see Anor Londo for what it really is: Dark. The city of the gods, the capital of the Age of Fire that stands against the Dark, has itself gone Dark, and we can’t even begin to imagine for how long it’s been that way. The gods, their cities, their subjects, their champions, all of it is just a shadow cast so long ago that it doesn’t resemble that which cast it, and any evidence that their time hasn’t passed is just another lie you’ve been fed. (...Side note, watch this video I subconsciously almost quoted verbatim)

Thus enters the God who lived and died for that lie, unable to accept a reality in which he did not rule. Thus we meet Gwyn himself....or at least, what little is left of him. Because that guy the game has been building up as your ultimate challenge? That top god who by this point has Final Boss written all over him? That guy who STARTED all this crap and is basically Zeus the Dragon Butcher? Gwyn, Lord of Sunlight?

You don’t fight him. You fight a walking husk, and this time I mean that literally. Burnt inside and out with a body of charcoal and soul of ash. You fight one of the easiest bosses in the game, a boss the devs explicitly stated was designed to make sure any possible build would not struggle much with. You fight a guy who doesn’t have a single lightning attack. You fight Gwyn, Lord of Cinder. And by the next game, he doesn’t even have a name. The one who conquered the everlasting dragons and ushered humanity into their first age is barely a memory in Dark Souls 2, simply known as a distant sun god; his own miracles that were so crucial to his legacy don’t even acknowledge him. The one person we meet who remembers he properly existed regards Gwyn as a blind fool who did not save humanity, but damn it. And by Dark Souls 3, Gwyn isn’t even his own being, he’s just one of many nameless souls to link the first flame.

Once the most powerful of all gods and savior of humankind, now no more valued than the random undead schmuck you played as. Without a doubt the one you see fall the furthest in any Fromsoft game is Gwyn, and it’s exactly what he deserved.

> Onto DS2

Because while Gwyn is the definitive example, he’s not the most extreme example; I’d argue that’s Vendrick. You might disagree since his fall was not as far, but what we saw of him WAS harsher than anything we saw of Gwyn. If not the most extreme, he’s certainly the most tragic, because unlike so many other cases of this in the series, Vendrick knew and accepted that this would happen to him. He’s one of a handful of figures across the series who embody the idea that, among all these legends, the ones truly worth being remembered for their glory are the ones who recognized they must eventually let go of said glory.

What I mean by “what we saw” is...well, just like Gwyn, Vendrick is built up over the course of the game as the great king and conqueror who ruled over the world you’re travelling around, and while Gwyn is foreshadowed as the big bad, Vendrick is directly made out to be the final boss. You’re given a quest, you overcome trials, and it’s all directly in the name of reaching this ancient tyrannical being who as a mere man conquered giants and reigned dragons. And when you finally go through a gauntlet to reach him and break his seals...

...you’re met with a feeble, shriveled Hollow who can barely drag his sword.

Gwyn at least gave the player a sense of who he was. He was a husk, and he was weak, but he put up a fight. He was waiting for you, undeniably himself in body if not mind, and commanding the first flame as his own with a blade wreathed in those flames. He stares you down as you enter and rushes you when you approach, his iconic theme playing as he silently lashes out at you. He was a husk, but he was never completely without dignity. Vendrick doesn’t have any of that. He’s hunched and aimlessly wandering his small chamber when you find him, not even attacking until you’ve hit him several times. He has no grand, iconic requiem accompanying his battle. Instead there is the scant few piano chords of a whisper filled dirge fading in and out, as faded as the empty being before your that has thrown away all but his blade and his crown. His robes, his precious ring, all of it cast aside, knowing the fate that awaited him would have no use for them. He’s nothing more visibly imposing than a giant version of the most basic hollows. His only unique abilities are the incredibly durability and raw strength, both of which he can longer wield effectively as one of the most predictable fights in the game; the same bait and strike tactic that works on any starting grunt works just as well on him. The closest thing to a unique attack he has is a single curse spell that represents everything he was trying to defy.

Gwyn was a far cry of his once glorious self, but he was a proper final boss in atmosphere and presentation if not strength or challenge. There’s no comparison to Vendrick, who is downright unrecognizable and was never your true foe to begin with...just a poor hollow to be put out of its misery...

> But Wait There’s [one] More [thank god]! It’s finally Demon’s Souls time.

Demon’s Souls is very much the Proto-Dark Souls in a lot of ways and how it conveys its themes is no exception. The big thing about soulsborne games is how, as you said at the start of this essay, the things we fight have all been eroded by the passage of time. We don’t see what their true potential is. We never meet them in their full glory. We can only strike down what remains of that faded legend. Even when something like time travel gets involved with various DLCs, we fight things like the Burnt Ivory King and Artorias of the Abyss. Even in the past, the legends we face are already corrupted almost beyond recognition. You simply don’t get to see what their prime is, no matter how curious we may be, because that’s the whole point of the theme of fading glory: You can’t get that back. You can only accept that it’s gone.

.....Old King Allant is a massive, blitz speed, Final Explosion-ing, soul sucking exception to this.

Look at this. Look. At. This. LOOK AT THIS SHIT.

This is not a shell, this is not a husk, there is nothing faded about this Alabaster curb-stomper - he’s practically radiant. Whether he’s something exceptional in difficulty is up to debate, but what isn’t up for discussion is how he’s presented, because every. single. attack. of his radiates power. I’m talking, like, Vergil levels of P O W E R. He’s got a winged aura of storm winds, he delays his windups only to then lunge forward at breakneck speed, just the way he draws sword to face you gives off raw “I’m going to fuck you up” energy - the sword in question being Soulbrandt, a blade that he never once let go of out of his infatuation with the way it grew in strength as his soul grew darker. He sends shockwave projectiles, not magic sword beams, pure shockwaves from how hard and fast he’s attacking. He almost never gets stunned compared to any other human, he has resistances against just about everything including the ability to shrug off any magic you throw at him, and his own magic is so powerful he can either one-shot explode you or steal your levels as he kills you. Above all else though, he’s brutal. He’ll attack relentlessly and swiftly, taking out anyone who’s relying on heal-tanking or fucking around to find out. There are various exploits as there always are, but for most players, regardless of difficulty he’s the one boss we all fear: The kind where there is no trick, you just have to git gud at learning his patterns and countering them. And that’s the main thing that stick with you, just like with Artorias or Maria or Ludwig or Gael or every single bloody Sekiro boss [and from what I’ve seen almost certainly Melania], there’s a swiftness, brutality, and efficiency that truly conveys the power of this legendary figure you’re up against.

Not bad for an illusion, eh?

Yeah I’ve ignored that bit long enough. Old King Allant, or to give his other name, the False King Allant, is truly worthy of being called a warrior king at the peak of his glory....because he was created to be that. The game’s final boss, King Allant XII, is not some alabaster tyrant who conquers dragons and command the demons. He is something even lower than Vendrick in its own way, a mass of mutated, inhuman flesh that pulses and can barely so much as reach out to you let alone strike you, unable to even wield the Soulbrandt fused with its lower carcass, still desperately clinging to it even as the power of the Old One has overwhelmed his physical form. He sought ever more glory, ever more certain his could never fade, and so unlike Gwyn who was puppeted or Vendrick who was hollowed, he became something not just less than human, but unrecognizable as human. We saw him in his glory, and while he retained the strength and power to make that zenith seemingly eternal, intent on and complacent with ruling from his dwelling with the Old One as a mere specter goes forth in his image, when confronted he is not powerful at all. He is, if anything, completely powerless.

Gwyn retained his visage and his dignity, but lost who he was, a burnt husk who possesses none of his own legacy and was doomed to ultimately be forgotten for the very reason of desperately holding onto his glory. Vendrick never ceased to represent that which he believed in, but lost his visage, his dignity, his kingdom, his mind, and his soul, ultimately left with nothing but the acceptance of his own inescapable fate.

Compared to the both of them, Allant is still the most on the nose, because unlike the rest we see that glorious legend. We meet it and fight it before we then deal with the reality of what is left of that same legend. Allant is not a once great, now faded light. He is a blazing pyre snuffed out right in front of our eyes. We go back to back from the peak of his tyrannical and power-mad glory, to a wretched and pathetic abomination pleading for mercy and understanding he does not deserve.

.................................................................................................................................... sigh

There. It’s done.

Ideally I would either now go into how Bloodborne does this amazingly as well with its final boss, but i don't want to spoil it. Not even tagged. Bloodborne has what might be my absolute favorite final boss in all video games, both because of themes discussed here and so many other merits, and I don't want to spoil it for anyone under any circumstance. I don’t care if it’s a 7 year old game (oh god my back), I won’t be the person to spoil that experience for anyone, invested or otherwise. Of course, I could go into the much more willing to spoil Lady Maria because just about EVERYONE knows about her, and from what I’ve seen of Elden Ring she might even have been a sort of “Proof of Concept” for Melania, or I could talk about how Maria is an inverse of this philosophy of “fading glory” and how she stands against the idea of holding onto such…

….but i think i already spent far too long on this, especially when for all i know you were in fact referring to a gameplay mechanic in which case this completely unsolicited WHY DID I WRITE THIS-

#long post #very long post #wall of text #literal essay #I realized how stupid this was around the 1.8k mark but i also knew it was too late to back out by then #This isn't even systematic like I claimed but ya know I only have one life to live so-#i can talk about why Maria and Artorias are such iconic characters some other time #same goes for Abyss Walkers and Burnt Ivory King #I spent multiple hours too many on this #writing analysis #video games #game design #video game analysis #writing shit #dark souls #dark souls 2 #dark souls 3 #demon's souls #bloodborne #elden ring #fromsoft #soulsborne #never let me do this again #never thought i’d get an ask #YOU HAD BETTER APPRECIATE THIS I CHECKED THE WORD COUNT ITS FCKING 4075 #vendrick #father gascoigne #gwyn lord of cinder #king allant #normally im not one for mass tagging BUT I EARNED THESE TAGS DAMNIT

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chaoticace2005 · 10 months

Text

My reactions to Good Omens S2:

Episode 1

-wait Crowley backstory?

-they knew each other? I’m screaming

-okay Crowley maybe don’t brush off your future husband like that?

-angel Crowley is such a nerd

-oof Aziraphale, don’t worry in 6000+ years Crowley will only be thinking that about you

-and yeah of course Crowley is already questioning things

-I’m sure they could object to that

-HE DID THE WING THING

-is starmaker Crowley gonna be something actually discussed??

-also im just now thinking that in s1 only Crowley introduced himself and in s2 only aziraphale did

-yeah… aziraphale is not gonna like the “angle” thing

-THERE WERE LOCKDOWNS

-aziraphale really just adopted someone huh

-“I’m very good at forgiveness, it’s one of my favorite things” dude you’re too good for this world

-yep Crowley is having an existential crisis

-oh hi Gabriel

-yeah aziraphale is about to be in for a rude awakening

-aww they’re cute

-oh wow aziraphale stop lying

-okay does this guy have both types of amnesia

-okay but there was a fly in the box so… beezelbub?

-okay Crowley I’m sure there’s more reasons than just those 3

-okay he really just chugged that

-aww she’s cute

-oof Maggie

-okay him and Crowley are already killing me

-yeah Crowley is having a mental breakdown

-“hell me take care of him”, shfhsh

-“he’s smoking”

-oh dang the old, lock them in a room together

-okay they’re really a human aziraphale and Crowley

-yep Lindsay sucks

-love how aziraphale is pretending not to look interested

-this is a complete flip from s1 where Crowley has to convince aziraphale to get involved

Episode 2

-CROWLEY NO

-DUDE STOP KILLING GOATS

-oh him and Muriel knew each other

-love how aziraphale really doesn’t want anyone to buy books

-Crowley archangel?!

-the fact that they have to make the place accessible

-oof I thought Jim was just invisible, turns out archangels really are just so self involved

-they have to be matchmakers dhdhdhdh

-yeah I’d be scared too if that Crowley was looking for my children

-THEY REMEMBER THEY KNEW EACHOTHER AS ANGELS

-Crowley got aziraphale into food?!

-Yeah the angels are gonna be confused about childbirth

-“OUR CAR”

-THERES A GOOD OMENS BOOK

-okay was last season just Crowley falling for aziraphale and this one is the opposite

Episode 3

-aww they’re cute

-Crowley’s moving in

-awww they’re cute

-ooh why’s beezelbub so anxious?

-awww Crowley gets quality time with his son

-Crowley really is stuck on the rain

-is this gonna be Crowley and aziraphale taking care of kids throughout the years?

-Crowley is fucking high

-fudgfhdhdh Crowley

-“blessings to twitter and Grindr”… yeah I’ll give blessings to one of them

-protective Crowley!

Episode 4:

-“Lesi”?

-dude, do NOT let her into your car

-“you don’t seem his type at all” babe wtf

-“I REMEMBER HEARING YOU AND CROWLEY WERE AN ITEM”

-who is furfur?

-ooh after the church?

-how did those bastards not die?

-awww aziraphale is so in love

-oh no aziraphale is going as magician?

-ZOMBIE NAZIS

-“expert lip reader”…oh this will be good

-Crowley’s doing voices 😂

-“someone you can really trust”

-oof miracle blocking 😭 this is gonna be painful

-“my miracles aren’t working” “neither are mine” god they’re so stupid

-of course he’s never fired a gun before dhdhdhebbd

-how is this magic trick legal?

-ejhdhd démons really can’t read

-“I knew you’d come through for me, you always do”

Episode 5

-doctor who

-DUDE GAVE AWAY A BOOK

-Eric dude stop asking questions, you’re gonna get lightning bolted

-Nina definitely thinks they’re an item

-I WAS RIGHT

-Crowley’s a stuttering mess 😂

-the fact Nina just assumes Crowley could never be straight

-okay I think Nina broke Crowley

-did Crowley set up a fucking date?

-oh aziraphale you’re definitely “smitten”

-oh dude, Crowley maybe don’t spill about the swap?

-told “MY OWN FRIEND”

-“and I did not care for it” oh baby I’m sure you didn’t

-CROWLEY FINALLY ACCEPTED HES A DAD

-the way Gabriel is dressed up 😂

-everyone is so posh

-oh no Maggie

-aziraphale censored the bloody place

-dude let her say something other “seamstress”

-LET CROWLEY AND AZIRPAHALE DANCE TOGETHER

-lmao they’re flirting with Gabriel

-THEYRE GONNA FANCE

-well they danced for like five seconds

-CROWLEY IS A NERD, Aziraphale is gonna fucking marry this guy on the spot

-nevermind he’s just quick in his feet

-“I won’t leave you on your own”

-oh that’s the magician’s partner, I was wondering who they were

-“you’re a good lad” “I’m not actually either”

-“rescuing me makes him so happy”

-I do not think azirpahale is gonna like Crowley just running to heaven

-okay how are they gonna finish this in 50 minutes?

Episode 6

-ANGEL COSPLAYER CROWLEY

-so Nina and Maggie just keep developing their relationship while locked in places

-warrior aziraphale?

-dang hes really just using what killed him last season as a weapon?

-“nah”?

-“Crowley’s emotional support angel”

-“Jim go to your room” “goodnight”: THIS IS LITERALLY PARENTS TO THEIR KIDS

-oh wait what about his books?

-THE BOOKS

-angel form aziraphale?

-ooh halo

-DONT TOUCH IT ERIC

-Crowley is the only one here with any braincells

-if they do a miracle together it works too well? 😂

-beezlebub actually talking to flies

-“you’re perfect” they say, to a fly holding Gabriel’s memories

-THEY WERE SEEING EACH OTHER

-are they gonna dance?

-their hands lingered

-“no one’s ever given me anything before”

-THEY GOT TOGETHER: “I just found something that matters more to me than choosing sides”

-Crowley is just watching his husband get to work

-“alpha centauri’s nice”, aziraphale looks at him

-aziraphale is just looking lovingly at Crowley during this entire scene and I’m losing it

-“we need a little us time” “just us. Not you”

-aww he’s putting the place back together

-Nina called Maggie angel

-them recognizing that they can do things at their own pace and not be forced together

-they’re giving him relationship advice

-he put his glasses on :(

-“we could have been us”

-CROWLEY CJRHDHRHDH

-THEYRE KISSING?!

-oh Crowley no :(

-“anything you need to take with you?”

-WHY WOUKD YOU END IT LIKE THAT?

-WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK

-okay I seriously can’t believe at the end of this somehow Aziraphale in the Archangel and Gabriel is the one who ran off to Alpha Centauri with a demon

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens season 2 spoiler #go2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers

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jojos-bizarre-imagines · 2 years

Note

can i request caesar taking Y/N to catholic mass despite Y/N not being catholic

church date (ceaser x reader fan fic)

rating: M for Mass

word count: at least 8

to celebrate your 17 month anniversary, your boyfriend ceasar was taking you out on an olive garden date. you were in the middle of eating your overpriced spaghetti when suddenly caeser looked at you very seriously.

"y/n... we have been dating for 17 months now, i think it's a time we take our relationship to the next level," he said, winking his italian eyelashes.

you gasped, your whole face and hair turning bright pink like pepto bismol . was he really going to pop the question right now?? or maybe he was finally gonna let you give him a blowjob???

cesar looked you deep into your e/c eyes. "will you... go to mass with me?"

you tried your best not to hide your disappointment and the fact that you weren't even catholic. "yayyy mass... my favorite..."

~later at mass~

you arrived at mass and went to sit down. but just as you sat down, everyone stood up. the priest said some things and then everyone sat down again. then everyone stood up to sing a song. then sat down again. "wtf this is a workout," you said, breathing heavily. was this why caser was so buff??

"no talking in church puttana," caeser said.

you stood up and sat down a couple more times, then the priest got out the crackers and wine. thank god, all this sitting and standing was making you hungry.

you and caesr got in line to go get some. the line moved very slow. when it was finally your turn, the priest held up one of the crackers and said, "the body of christ."

"um, okay?" you said, and reached out to take it, but casar grabbed your arm to stop you.

"what are you doing? i'm hungry," you said.

"i did not a realize you hadn't had your first communion," said caear.

"?" you said.

"you're supposed to say 'amen' after the priest says 'the body of christ,'" he mansplained. "i'm a so sorry about that," he apologized to the priest, then told you to go sit back down.

after you sat down it was awkwardly silent cuz people were praying and shit. ceser wouldn't even look at you because he was praying too. you sighed sadly. this was so boring. you started thinking of all the anime amvs you wanted to make to pass the time.

mass finally ended after what felt like an hour, and you and saeser walked back quietly to his car.

"are you still upset about the body of christ thing?" you said. "i'm sorry if i embarrassed you, i didn't know there was a code word."

"i didn't know you weren't catholic y/n," caer said, sounding like his heart had just shaddered into a gazillion pieces. "mamma mia..."

"yeah i guess i forgot to tell you"

"you know whar i was praying for y/n??? that someday i would get to marry you in the church.... but how could that a happen if you're not even catholic?? you crush my soul... you rip out my heart while it's still bleeding. beating i mean. goodbye y/n... let me kno if you wanna convert tho."

"hey wait don't leave me here i can't drive!" you said.

"don't worry, the nuns will take you in. you should go to confession while you're here. only god can forgive you for lying to me like that"

#caesar zeppeli #caesar x reader

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mattyknees · 9 months

Note

Why are you majoring in religion?

because i want to?

transgender people aren't a monolith. a lot of us have religious trauma. my church's parenting classes were based on the teachings of the IBLP. i'm no stranger to the harms of fundie christian/leader/s on [fill in the blank].

i also believe that that's not what spirituality is. "christianity" hasn't been what a lot of us understand god's love to be, and it hasn't been for a long time. (here is a good explanation of the rob bell model, 2:27:45-2:30:24)

religion has been traumatic for too many people for too long. when my uncle killed himself the chaplain leaned against the wall of the surgical waiting area (public, about 20 other people) and asked me how i felt about it. in earshot of a fuck ton of other people. i told him i felt like shit! that my uncle just died! how did he expect me to feel! and he said "okay..." and walked away.

i'm majoring in religion because i want to become a chaplain, and the behavior i witnessed that day can't be allowed to continue. people like me need to be the faces of modern religious support. queer people. brown people. people that are starting to understand how evil western christianity is fucked up and has been for centuries. we need to step up and say hey! we fucked up! and we're changing it! we're killing the mold from the inside out! and this is how!

people like j. s. park and paula stone williams (the latter of whom i am friends with on facebook btw. a wonderful, kind, and beautiful woman. love her. would die for her.) are leading the charge. but we have to keep going. they aren't getting any younger and chaplain work is still, like, important. old people are still religious. young people are still religious. religious people of all ages die in hospitals all the time.

and u don't even need to die to request a chaplain. i'm requesting one the day of my top surgery. just to talk things out and work through my feelings before i go under. chaplains r often mental health professionals on top of religious professionals. in a lot of places, you need bare minimum a clinical social work license to become a board certified chaplain and work in a hospital. which is what i'm getting. i am also going to be an LCSW. so. there's that.

also, like. it's cool to know what ur friends are talking about. i have friends that aren't atheists and aren't christians. one of my friends is a practicing witch. my irl best friend is muslim. religion majors aren't automatically bootlicking fundies. some of us genuinely just want to understand wtf is going on outside our four walls. like, where i'm going u don't even have to study the bible for any of ur classes. none of them! not a single one!

i'll leave u with this tho. because i do still feel like getting preachy. nowhere in the actual physical bible does it say that transition is ungodly. my transness is not ungodly. but the bible does say something pretty fucking affirming.

Psalms 139: [13] For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. [14] I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. [15] My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. [16] Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

#my post #asks #anonymous #answered #ex fundie posting

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darlingkara · 9 months

Text

So, I haven't written here since December of 2022

I am finally reorganizing my everything! Well, that's the play, anyway.

Sorry for any typos-- I will be careful. I am working with a new but old laptop and I am not used to the keyboard. But, it works for my vanilla IT job and camming. I have not broadcasted publicly with it, but ran a password protected show and saw it from a phone, a TV, another PC screen. It looked okay at 720/60fps. I have not tried to hook the Cannon up to it yet.

I wish I were a desk person. I am just not. I have never been, haha. Chairs are uncomfortable, the desk height is usually off, and they are hard and uncomfy! I cannot study, or read, or work at a desk. I have always been a bed, couch, floor person.

My classes start in exactly 2 weeks from now... September 5. Now I can finally take the philosophy class I have wanted to take! I don't dislike economics, but the program degree is Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE). I like socio-economics and more so ethics and behavioral strategy. So one Philosophy class and one Politics class. I won't be too too specific, as it wouldn't be too hard to find me. But I am excited-- I love both studies.

Btw, not like I care if people find ''out''. My family knows I am a cam girl... I think they mostly support it. My mother thinks it is like Twitch with boobies. Hahaha. Kinda, but I don't play games when I broadcast. Or really never or rarely.

Speaking of the devil, 2 outta 3 siblings are blocked on FB and I will never talk to them again, I assume. My sister said something about having to pay taxes on a parking lot that her church rented out to sell vegetables. She is umm... a Libertarian. I said, ''Well, at least the concrete was taxed''.

She told me to eat concrete... Like, wtf, I know. And then a slew of recent things she has said to me just hit me. Like, some stupid hypothetical boat story she was discussing a few weeks back. A person is on a boat and has to get to an island. They see a person drowning, and have space in the boat. I said, well, of course I would help them and pick them up. I am going there anyways, and it is not like I can watch someone drown. She said she wouldn't help them, but ''it's not like it was her hand drowning them''. I am sure I said something about how humans need each other and her thinking was a bit.... antisocial, shall we say.

After the EAT CONCRETE weirdness, she sent me a link with pre-made cookie dough being recalled for having woods chips in it, and told me I should eat that, too.

That was it. That was my breaking point. I told her... WOW... What a lovely Christian you are being. You are selfish and ill-willed, and you are dipping your toes into alt-tight territory. And that is the last thing she saw before I blocked her. And I feel so much lighter. She was not like this before. She's 5 years older than I am, and she is not stupid. She has 2 Master's degrees Philosophy and Psychology. Thank fuck she isn't someone's therapist. She did have a patient kill themselves when she first started... and she found them. She was distraught for awhile, which is understandable, but I repeatedly told her that she had nothing to do with it-- The person would have committed suicide anyways, at some point. She obviously wasn't allowed to talk about the specifics (HIPAA). But I felt for her.

Anyways, it is weird to mentally lose two siblings. Albeit, they were older than I am by 5 and 9 years, but we were still close. I was the youngest-- I am not quite Gen X, but due to their ages and influences, I am half Gen X, half Millennial, whatever that means. Of course they are both Anti-Vax (but just recently). It is just so odd. We were not raised this way. They have both become fairly religious. I am almost certain my brother has been celebite for a decade, if not more.

His daughter, who is 18, started college in a kinda southern and eastern state. For some reason, he decided to follower her, move there and I was thinking like, man, get a life. I loved my dad, but that's the last thing I would want him to do-- follow me states away at 18. Bejesus.

....Enough whining from me. Sorry, I don't have an outlet for my feelings.

...8 hours later... I worked way too much. I did my IT job for 4 hours and I re-did the floor (again) for another 4 hours. It's getting there! If only I realized I probably only needed stronger acetone to remove the damn spots and tar, it would have been much easier. It is like, half wood, and half I don't know. There are pics on Twitter. I think I will eventually have to buy some oak stain for some spots I over-sanded. But, not so ba+d or expensive thus far. Nail files, acetone, mineral spirit alcohol and a stove scraper I already had, haha.

My weight loss had plateaued for a bit. I was stuck at 90 kgs/190 lbs for almost a month, and now I am 86.7kgs or 191 lbs. I really only want to get to about 160-170 pounds, Anything less than that, I look kinda weird, imo. Start weight was a very shocking 247 lbs or 124 kgs. Yikes. You don't realize how slow you pack in on. I am sticking with 1100 calories a day. But I am so bad. All I want are these little chocolate doughnuts, veggies and meat. It could be worse. :)

I will try to update more than every 6 months, haha. Lately all I have been doing is being snarky on Twitter, working, and reading.

This Trump et al thing is craaaaazy. But I am not surprised. I cannot believe people are so gullible and believe in such bizarre lies. I have been obsessed with Erik Prince and Mike Flynn fir awhile, as well as the Wagner group, before they were all on most people's radar. And Musk/Twitter-- that was not by accident. None of this is.

Until next time... Keep yourself sane, content and safe!

youtube

#politics #philosophy #e girl #family #Youtube

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mysteriouslybluepirate · 1 year

Text

Vengeance Is Mine- Day 3 of watching Con's Filmography

I'm live posting my reaction cause I don't think this one will be as thought-provoking to need an essay as Telstar.

Love to hear your thoughts down below!

If you have any Con recommendations, I'd love to hear them. I've watched Telstar, Uncle, OFMD, Chornobyl, and Blood Brothers. Planning to watch Cucumber, though I've heard mixed things.

Content Warning for car crashes, suicidal imagery, suicidal ideation, gun violence, murder, explicitly shown drug use, wounds, and overdosing.

the effects are what they are. Keep expectations low; we're here for Sad Con, not anything else, really.

LOVE the DIY suicide chair. It's definitely not how I, or anyone, would do it. Was the plan to bleed out? He'd stumble over the legs, then fall onto the ground. There's a good chance the tape wouldn't hold.

I know he hates himself, but that church has to be freezing cold. My guy, throw on a hoodie and some sweats.

If only you could go to therapy or a support group. Like the one, you watched creepily. Probably couldn't afford it.

You know, that getting-hit-by-a-car effect wasn't as bad as I expected.

I like that since he doesn't talk to people when he talks, it's all cracked and unused.

WHY WOULD YOU GET IN THE CAR OF CRIMINALS. I know this guy you're following was an accomplice to a hit-and-run, and you have no self-preservation. BUT HOLY SHIT, MAN.

Con is too good at playing depressed dissociation.

Imagine being a criminal, and you aren't hunted down by cops but by a guy whose family you accidentally murdered 5 years ago.

Most sturdy switchblade to ever be invented.

GUN TIME, BABY. Does he know how to use, shoot, or take care of it? Who knows? The idea that British people know how to use a gun based on American media and general pop culture is odd.

You probably aren't meant to eat the decoy sandwich. That's to hide suspicion. Not for eating.

GET IT CON! I can't do a single pushup, so this is enough of a training montage for me(I don't think we learn his name, so Con it is. If we were supposed to learn it with the letters in the beginning, I've already forgotten it)

Love the candle imagery/ holding your hand close to a candle for no reason. This makes 2 characters of his that do this shit. why is he doing this? Does the fire make him stronger?

I know this is the first kill, but babe, anyone could grab that gun out of your hand. Wandering around with it out isn't smart either. LOVE THE SHAKING.

OW. That looked like it fucking hurt. Also, the camera angle makes it look like he gets stabbed anywhere from the arm, chest, neck and eye. Which is great. I think he gets it in the shoulder.

"That's my pen." Priorities

I love that Con looks as messed up about murdering a guy as the guy getting murdered

"Just like we killed those bitches" Well, that sealed the deal

I don't know why he's standing up to clean his wounds like that. He could sit, or lie down. STOP EATING THE FUCKING SANDWICHES.

Love interest? Okay, I'll roll with it. Maybe the best time to hit on her isn't when she's talking about her dead husband.

Love the hoodie, chest half out look con.

She immediately went for the tits in the make-out session, a wise option.

Good to know Con-the actor does the whole mouth staring thing to indicate interest. Putting that in my back pocket.

"Still Married?" "Separated." BITCH she literally told you her husband was dead. BOND. make a single friend. I know it's probably just in case so his crimes can't be returned to him, but Jesus Christ.

"Do you know what they (the French) call an orgasm?" WTF. Why are you like this? I will have that line in my brain now. It's definitely going into a fic.

Murder Con vibing to pop music on his way to a kill is just funny.

Say what you will; I'm impressed they got so many locations to film this.

You are in a grassy field, in a dark black winter coat and baseball cap. You should have been spotted ages ago.

CHARGE!

Well, he's got maybe half of them so far. Screwed the pooch a bit on that one. Please deal with your knife wounds. New gun acquired.

If only shotguns worked like that.

GO TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL AND SAY YOU WERE MUGGED

Okay. So in the pharmacy, I think he wanted the controlled substances to kill himself? Maybe? I don't know why else he'd want them.

OH, GOOD. A pharmacist shouldn't do that. Unless Pharmacists in the UK are so much different. Also, he's going to get addicted to morphine, isn't he?

"I'm getting old." MAM, you are WRONG. Not a single gray hair or wrinkle, or crows foot, what are you on.

Also, Sans Undertale Con look.

HARRY. Love the name. Love that they were polite enough for her to leave the room to threaten him.

FROM THE 2nd STORY ONTO A TABLE. RUN. RUN MY MAN.

"He fucking bit me" ICON

I don't know what he's doing, but he's doing it, and he's about to get himself killed. (He's just running through a field wounded for some fucking reason)

Oh no, half-naked wounded Con, whatever will I do.

I like that British people always seem to offer cookies. It's very lovely. In a Paddington sort of way.

WHY DOES HE OWN HORSES. Oh, he left this life to go become a church person for the past 5 years. Funny that he passed out, got rescued, and then insists to be housed and left alone.

WHAT IS THIS WHIMSICAL MUSIC. It's legit from a Breath Of The Wild soundtrack to visit his family's graves.

GET SUITED UP FOR MURDER BITCH.

That definitely isn't how you hold a shotgun, but it looks fucking badass, and he has a shit arm, so I'm cool with it.

Well, the deeds have been done, is he going to kill himself or move on....

HE'S SMILING YEY!

Nvm. Morphine overdose on their graves. Damn. Thought he'd move on once they were all dead. Damn.

Wait

Love interest on the beach?

He joins her?

Is he imagining this before he dies? Is that her dead husband?

Music: 8/10. Not a big action piece that covers the acting. Besides the music at the end everything fit really well. I think they should have swapped the end song at the graves with the first grave song.

Film overall besides Con: 6-7/10. Very self-contained story. Shame he wasn't able to make a new life, but at least he found peace in the end. Con is the only real standout just because it's so short and mainly focused on Harry.

Effects: 6-7/10 This had a budget, but the only stuff that really took me out was the gun stuff and the opening gun fight.

Con:8 maybe even a 9/10. Even with a script where he doesn't talk, he radiates the vibe. He's sad, and not afraid to have those 'ugly/embarrassing faces' I love so much about his work. He knows he's breathing with his mouth open, grunting, and looking half dead and rocks it. He can do so much with just his face. It's impressive. It lets the audience not see him as an actor but as a character in a shitty situation. Loved the scenes between him and the love interest. Loved that he kept up how injured he was throughout the film. When he's stabbed in the arm early on Con makes sure to keep it braced, it's a good touch.

At first I gave him a 8 until I remembered I've watched blood brothers then Telstar then this. Then I remembered the OFMD pannel video I remembered that he is genuinely a fun and happy person, which bumped the rating up higher. He just seems so fucking sad in all his roles.

Movie Overall: 7/10. Would watch again, and wished he got to live a happier life after.

I'd love to see everyone's interpretation of that ending.

#Vengeance Is Mine (2021)#con o'neill #Watching all of Con's stuff cause I'm bored #and genuinely want to see all his work #con oneill #Vengeance Is Mine #Con's Conography #Harry Kane

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