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selenascorner · 2 days

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GOT HERE FIRST, TOO LATE - C.S.

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo x fem!reader

Summary: You've been in a situationship with Chris for quite some time. Feeling weary of this, you decide to stir things up when his brother Matt shows interest in you. After all, if he isn't ready to call you his out loud, he shouldn't get bent out of shape about it.

Warnings: MDNI, 18+ content, dom!chris, possessive!chris, rough sex, teasing, degradation kink, unprotected sex, oral (m!receiving), deepthroating, face riding, missionary, sex tape, edging, orgasm denial, use of pet names, angst, jealousy, cursing.

a/n: settle in ig, this is 4,4k words; also i listened to unforgettable on repeat while writing this

On a casual Saturday night, you were on your way to meet some friends at a bar. This was a well-deserved break after a stressful week of work. It was just you and your friends, but one of them was more than that - Chris. Your relationship with Chris was a secret, shared only when no one else was looking. He didn't want an official relationship for various reasons - the fans, his busy schedule, and his fear of commitment. Yet, he only desired you. Despite being his secret, you couldn't help but want him more each time you saw him. His treatment of you was special and caring, unlike anyone else.

Upon entering the bar, the scent of beer greeted you. You looked around, spotting your friends at a table, laughing and chatting. You approached them, smiling at the sight of Matt, Nick, and Chris.

As you neared, Matt waved at you with a genuine smile. Nick and Chris turned around, with Nick waving and Chris just smirking. Your heart pounded in your chest as you neared the table, with Chris' smirk doing nothing to calm your nerves.

"Hello, fancy people," you greeted, placing your purse on the chair next to Chris.

"Hey y/n, we missed you lots!” Nick exclaimed, giving you a warm hug. Matt also got up, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"How have you been?" Nick asked as he sat back down. You turned to Chris, who simply raised three fingers in greeting. "Hi," you responded, sitting next to him.

"I've been good," you answered, turning your attention to Nick and Matt while Chris smirked at you.

“Alright, alright. What you been doing? You up to something?” Nick asks you, you shake your head, crossing your legs under the table.

“I haven’t been doing nothing special, it’s just like that. I’m so stressed because of work though, I’m glad we finally fitted a night out that is somewhere else rather than your place. Was getting tired of the smell of junk food.” You say, a chuckle escaping your lips.

Suddenly, your phone lit up with a text from Chris.

chris

come closer, don’t be shy

You glanced at him, seeing his smirk, and decided not to give in to his request. Instead, you focused on your conversation with Matt and Nick. However, Chris scooted his chair closer to you, unnoticed by the others. You felt his hand slowly move up your leg, causing your heart to flutter with nerves.

You shake your head and your eyes shut, aware of what he’s doing, your face getting hot as all you can see is Nick and Matt laughing.

You hummed, enjoying his movements. Your attention was instantly grabbed when Nick slapped his hand onto the table, calling Chris' name.

"Dude, what the hell?" Chris asked, as Nick stood up.

"Bathroom. Need to talk to you," Nick replied. Chris grabbed his phone before standing up, giving you a quick glance to let you know he would return soon. That left you alone with Matthew.

You and Matthew didn't often converse. He was more of a quiet person, but this time he seemed like he was in the vein to talk.

"So, why are you so stressed?" He abruptly asked, prompting you to shift uncomfortably in your seat.

"Work's been a bit overwhelming. I have too much to do by the end of June," you answered. He tilted his head in confusion.

"What kind of stuff? Can we help in any way?" He inquired, activating the Do Not Disturb mode on his phone as a sign of respect toward you.

"Well, I don't think you guys can help, but thank you for showing interest," you replied with a smile.

"Are you sure? Anything at all?" He leaned back in his chair, his eyes sincere. Sometimes you wished Chris had Matthew's temperament, but it was what it was. Unfurtunately you liked Chris for what he was, not for what he could’ve been.

"Yes, Matt. I'm okay. But you could pay for dinner to really help me out," you joked, turning around and reaching into your purse for a hair tie.

"Alright," he just agreed, adjusting his hat.

"What?" You turned immediately around, taken aback by his response.

"I'll pay for dinner," he repeated, removing his hat to fix his hair before putting it back on.

"Wait- no, I wasn't serious, I was joking-" you protested, but he quickly dismissed your concerns.

"Relax, y/n. It's no problem at all," he laughed at your reaction, but you couldn't help feeling guilty for making the paying joke.

"Matthew, seriously, I was joking. Please, I'll feel guilty," you insisted, reaching for your wallet. He stopped you gently, placing a hand on yours, and you couldn’t help but glance at this.

“Y/n, you need to relax. This is the least I can do. Let me pay," he calmly reassured you. His sincerity was apparent. He genuinely wanted to do it.

"Are you sure? I don't want to make you-“ you began, but he cut you off, his thumb softly brushing against your hand.

"Completely sure. Chris and Nick probably would've made me pay anyways, so it's no big deal," he said, laughing as he glanced around the room. You were too focused on him.

"Alright, big man. Thank you," you said jokingly, a smile spreading on your face, his hand still on yours, giving a little squeeze. You were interrupted by Chris, who threw himself into his chair. That was probably why Matthew had been looking around. His hand quickly left yours.

"Please, don't mind me," Chris laughed at your interaction, scrolling through Instagram on his phone.

"I'm sorry?" Matt asked, catching Chris' attention as he chewed on some breadsticks.

"What?" Chris asked, a teasing smile on his face.

"It's not like something was going on," Matt retorted, gesturing over the table.

"Matt, I don't care. You know what's surprising? The only girl you can pull is literally our best friend," Chris said, making you feel weird. He had never referred to you as 'best friend' before. He’s never done that.

"You know what's surprising, Chris? That you can't treat a pretty girl right. You always make us feel miserable because your attitude scares every girl away," Matt responded, clearly irritated. A smirk spread on Chris' face, knowing he had you wrapped around his finger. Matthew's irritation was precisely what Chris had aimed for.

"Sure, buddy," Chris responds, just teasing Matt further. As the waiter delivers the food to your table.

Matt pauses his speech, seemingly unfazed by Chris' indifference. Chris, meanwhile, starts eating while Nick settles into his chair, casually brushing his hands against his legs.

"So, what did I miss? Chris, could you pass the salt?" Nick asks Chris, licking his lips.

Chris, without looking away from his food, grabs the salt and hands it to Nick. This odd behavior leaves Nick feeling a bit unsettled.

"Thanks. Your food's not going anywhere, you know," Nick jokes, sprinkling some salt over his fries.

"What did you mean by 'sure, buddy'?" Matt asks, his meal cooling as he hesitates to touch it.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Chris replies, taking another bite of his burger and completely ignoring Matt's question.

"What the hell does that mean?" Matt demands, causing Nick to turn at the sound of his harsh word.

"What's going on?" Nick asks, looking at Matt and Chris, a concerned expression on his face.

"Matt, I'm eating. D’you mind?" Chris says, finally looking up.

“’m sorry.” You feel guilty about the tension at the table, so you excuse yourself to the bathroom, getting up from your chair and rushing to it, feeling the urge to cry but holding the tears back as much as you could.

In the bathroom, you try to calm yourself. A sudden knock on the door startles you, but you wait for the person to identify themselves before opening it.

"Y/n? Can you open this fucking door? I'm trying to eat," Chris' voice comes through the door.

You quickly open the door to see Chris looking at you, concern etched on his face at the sight of your watery eyes.

"What happened?" He asks. You avoid his gaze, but he gently lifts your chin to make you look at him.

"I'm not playing, Y/n. What's wrong?" he asks again, his tone firmer. He wants an answer.

“Chris I- I really wasn't doing anything with Matt," you explain him, nervously fidgeting with your shirt.

"Matt was trying to do something with you, though," Chris says, gritting his teeth.

You just gulp, shaking your head as Chris places a reassuring kiss on your forehead.

"Don't worry. I got exactly what Matt was trying to do. I'll show him what he got from it," he murmurs into your ear, tucking a loose strand of hair behind it. "I'll get us a hotel room after dinner, okay?" Despite the situation, you can't help but feel excited. You nod at him, and he gives you a reassuring smile before leading you back to the table.

Back at the table, he does nothing, he simply sits on his chair as soon as he reaches the table and continues his meal as if nothing happened between you guys.

You begin to eat your burger, feeling a bit embarrassed by the situation you are in. It wasn't really your fault, though you wonder why you didn’t tell Matt to back off. But if Chris isn't ready to acknowledge your relationship in front of others, you don't see it as a problem. Despite everything, you find yourself really liking Chris. You steal glances at him as he enjoys his meal, seemingly oblivious to the world around him. You give Matt a playful smile, biting your cheek to suppress your embarrassment.

"Hey, Y/n, it just occurred to me, you haven't been hit by cupid's arrow yet, have you?" Matt asks, laughing as he takes a bite of his burger, as you cringe as his own question.

Chris drops his burger for the first time that day, clearly agitated by Matt's teasing, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

"Uhh... I haven't. But I'm good. I don't need one," you simply answer.

Nick chimes in, "It's weird you haven't found a boyfriend yet.”He says, and Chris can’t help but tease you at the occasion.

"Yeah, really weird," Chris echoes, feigning amusement.

"I'm not looking for one. At all," you spat, your cheeks turning red.

"But you're fucking someone, right?" Chris teases you further by asking this, causing you to gasp and Nick to choke on his food.

"Whoa, alright Chris," Nick intervenes, as he laughs nervously.

"Man, I'm just curious. She's our best friend, right Y/n?" Chris says, pointing at you, licking his lips..

Nick steps in to defend you, "That’s none of your business, Chris. Leave her alone."

"Alright, alright," Chris concedes, lifting his hands in surrender.

"But are you seeing someone, Y/n?" Matt asks, taking a sip of his drink.

"Didn't you hear what Nick said? Leave her alone," Chris retorts, mocking Nick’s tone.

"See, Matt asked politely. You didn’t. ‘Are you fucking someone?’” Nick says, mimicking Chris' earlier tone and expression.

This provokes Chris to stand up and walk over to Matt, "Wallet, your turn." Matt gives you a playful glance, his lips mouthing the words ‘told you.

"There we go," Chris says, handing Matt his own wallet. You were waiting for him outside the restaurant, knowing that he wouldn't take long.

Nick opens the back door of Matthew’s car, noticing how you don’t walk over them.

“Come on, we can take you home if you’d like.” Nick says, inviting you.

You’re about to open your mouth, however, Chris interrupts before you can reply,

“We have some things to do. I'll walk her home. It’s not a long walk, anyways.”

"But-" Matt starts to protest, but Chris wraps an arm around your neck.

"We're supposed to... do something together," you state, a hint of shyness in your voice. The thought of what you're about to do together fills your mind, different scenarios playing in your head.

"But-" Matt tries to interject again, but this time Nick stops him.

"Matt, let them be. They'll be back, right?" He asks and the both of you nod, Chris giving you a pleased smirk.

Matt proposes to you. Chris can't help but chuckle, the way he’s trying too hard is just so funny to him. You simply nod in response before Chris waves them goodbye and leads you in the opposite direction from where their car is parked, and Chris pulls you into the nearest hotel he can find, just around the corner.

“Chris- the prices are crazy here-“ you try to argue, but Chris doesn't let you finish.

"I don't fucking care," he interrupts, approaching the front desk with a fake smile, letting go of you.

“Hello, a room for two, please." he requests, as the receptionist begins typing on her computer.

"When would you like the room?" she asks, looking up at him.

"Immediately, if possible. Just for a few hours," he answers, while you stand quietly by his side.

"Would you prefer a standard room or a suite?" she questions, to which Chris promptly responds, “Suite’s fine.” He pulls out his wallet from his pocket.

"Could you provide your IDs, please?" she enquires, you watch as Chris reaches into your bag for your wallet, retrieves both your IDs, and hands them to her.

"Excellent, here is your key. The room number is 205. If you need anything, please call the reception from the desk phone. Enjoy your stay!" she says, as Chris pays for the room.

You're stunned that he's got you a suite. You had a hunch about what was coming next, and strangely enough, you were looking forward to it. Chris leads you to the elevator, not even looking at you. The thought of your dinner conversation with Matt has him seething. He was fuming mad, the words 'wanna do something later at my place' made him snap, and said by his own brother? God. As if you were going to fuck him. You were his. Not Matt’s, you were Chris’.

As soon as the elevator dings to signal your floor, he hurries you to your room. As you enter, he locks the door behind you tightly.

He sighs, places your bag on the desk and flops onto the bed, arms behind his head. You just gaze at him, waiting for him to speak first, anxiety rising in your chest.

"Strip," he finally commands, not even bothering to shift positions.

You comply without hesitation, looking at him as you remove your shoes, socks, shirt, and pants. Left only in your underwear, being braless, you go to remove them too, but he stops you.

"No, c’mere," he says, patting the space next to him. You oblige, walking up to him and finally straddling him as he remains laid back.

He pulls you closer by your hips, his hair brushing against your chest. He then slides down onto the bed fully, lifting you so your underwear meets his face. He rips them apart with his mouth, which makes you complain.

"Chris, what the fuck!” you say as he further tears them with his fingers and discards them on the floor. His face then dives into your wet cunt, pleasuring you like a man starved. He ate you like you were a meal, and as he hasn’t eaten in days.

You let out a loud moan, and you can't help but look down at him. The way he grips your thighs while sucking your bud is enough to make you whimper. He eagerly plays with your clit, alternating between it and your entrance, sending jolts of pleasure coursing through your body.

You moan his name loudly, and he responds with a hard slap on your ass, reminding you that you could be heard, and you just moan louder.

“Fuck- Chris, oh my god, I’m so close, fuck!” you manage to get out before he slaps your ass again, signaling that you're not allowed to cum yet.

You groan, knowing he won't let you finish. Just when you were about to pull away from him, he grabs your thigh, forcing you to stay in place, your clit bumping against his nose, making you bite your teeth to muffle your moans. The pleasure was overwhelming. You close your eyes, ready to climax, but just as you're about to let go, he pulls away from your saturation, panting heavily while pushing his hair back.

"Turn around.” he instructs with labored breaths. You turn around, confused, so your ass is now in his face.

It’s not until you lift your hips for him and feel his nose teasing your entrance while his mouth pays attention to your clit that you understand what he's doing.

"Chris, oh my god!" you moan, and he rewards you with another slap on your ass.

He starts to flick your clit with his tongue, and that's what pushes you over the edge, giving it slow teasing kitten licks.

“‘m gonna- Chris, ‘m gonna cum..” you warn, your climax suddenly hitting you as your legs shake around his head. He doesn't let you go, continuing to pleasure you throughout your orgasm, sucking on your bud.

"Oh, fuck…” you gasp as you come down from your high, his mouth still on your clit, his nose now covered in your juices, making you bite your lip at the thought.

"Chris, it's sensitive!" you say, clenching your muscles as he finally lets you go. Your thighs slightly bruised from his grip.

“On the floor, on your knees” He orders you, while wiping his nose from your juices, sucking it off from his fingers, his tone laced with fury.

He sits up, and you kneel on the floor. He brushes his hair back, finally looking at you.

In a swift motion, Chris unbuckled his pants, his shirt discarded carelessly on the floor. He slid down his boxers, they were just on his thighs as he approached you. He slammed his throbbing cock covered in pre-cum against your lips, a smirk spreading on his face.

He held your face, inserting a finger into your mouth to keep it open, and then slid his dick between your lips. His size was intimidating, and you gagged as he filled your mouth. Your hand instinctively wrapped around his base, to take him better.

"Yes, choke on my fucking cock, fucking brat," he hissed, his hand gently stroking your hair. Your head bobbed up and down over him, each movement taking in more of him until he slid himself out of your mouth.

“Still," he commanded. You complied, and he gripped your hair, using it as leverage to guide his movements.

He slid himself in and out of your mouth, using your throat to fuck his own cock.

“F-fuck… take me like that, you slut.” He cooed, his eyes closing in ecstasy, his head thrown back, a whimper leaving his mouth.

He slammed his tip against your pouty lips again, and he suddenly pulled out, knowing he was gonna cum, leaving your mouth empty.

"Get on the bed, angel. 'Gonna hit it raw for you," he purred, his eyes ablaze with lust as he tossed his boxers to the side.

"Spread those legs for me, hm?" he whispered. He got on the bed, crawling over you, as his lips finally met yours for the first time in the night, his tongue sliding in your mouth. He broke the kiss, and for a moment, he was silent, his eyes scanning the room. He grabbed something from the night table and then turned his attention back to you.

"So, we're gonna do something-" he started, but his words were interrupted by a soft ring from his phone. He picked it up and a smirk spread across his face.

"We're gonna show this to Matt ,so that he'll finally stop bothering my girl," he said, proud of his own idea. His phone was now recording, capturing what was happening in the room between you two. He teased you, sliding his tip through your folds, but not inserting it inside you. The anticipation building up to an unbearable level.

He finally pushed himself inside you, and your moan echoed through the room, his name escaping your lips.

"Good girl, take it like this, mhm," he cooed, his pace slow and deliberate, giving you time to adjust to his size.

“Please, Chris…” You purr, desperate for him to quicken his pace.

He continued moving, his thrusts gradually gaining in speed. His phone recorded every detail, the moans the whimpers could be heard, as he framed the sight of your face contorted in pleasure, then the sight of his member sliding in and out of you, glistening with your arousal. It was all on tape, so that Matt could play it, again and again if he needed to understand that you weren’t his girl. You were Chris’.

He gripped your hips, tilting your body so that he could hit that sweet spot inside you. “You need Chris, hm?" he cooed, his tone sweet and gentle. You could only respond with a soft moan, your body too focused on the pleasure coursing through it.

“Yeah- yes, please…” You lightly moan out, his hips quickening his pace as he hears you begging for it.

“Yeah? Need Chris’ big cock, huh? What you gonna do for Chris, hm?” He asks, his tone seductive and teasing, and that led you to spill another moan from your mouth.

“I’m gonna be a good girl— mphh- a good slut!” You almost scream out, not able to contain yourself at the feeling of Chris slamming himself inside you. He brings the phone to your face once again, showing the expression that’s on your face, so pleasured and then back on his cock, now drilling in you faster, covered in juices.

“Yeah? Chris’ good girl? You gonna let Chris use you?” He asks, you nod immediately, your thoughts blurred in pleasure.

“Hm? Is Chris giving you everything you need?" He questions once more, now holding the phone above his head, as if capturing a selfie, flashing a peace sign to the camera, sticking his tongue out, while his hips are ceaselessly moving within you. However, he doesn’t allow himself to show your boobs on camera. That was just his thing to see.

“Fuck Chris, yeah- mhmm…” You hum, your climax getting closer and closer, a familiar knot forming in your stomach, being completely brainfucked. All you were seeing was black, and all you felt, aside of Chris’ fat cock drilling into you, was the soaked sheets and the sweat all over your body.

"Are you tired, poor thing? Come on, gimme that leg, mhmm," he said, grabbing one of your legs and placing it over his shoulder. Then he did the same with your other leg, changing the angle of his thrusts so that he was hitting your g-spot with every movement.

“Chris- just like that, fuck, yeah!” You moan desperately, his other hand gripping your hip.

“‘Feel better now, sweet thing? Worn out still and want me to fuck you, you must love this dick, don’t you angel?” He chuckled, as continued fucking you as he placed a sweetkiss on your ankle, his dick driving you closer and closer to the edge.

"See, Matt, this vision is a fucking blessing, and I get this every single night," he said into the phone, his voice laced with pride.

“I see why you wanted to see my girl like this too, but if you expect my girllike this, fucked dumb, so fucking horny you can’t expect to not see my cock stuffed inside her, y’know?” He says, his hand pressing on your stomach, knowing that’d finally make you cum.

"Shit- cumming! I'm cumming, Chris, yeah!" you finally screamed, your body convulsing as waves of pleasure crashed over you. His name on your lips, filled the room.

“This girl goes crazy for this cock only, not the lame replicas.” He said, and then you released all over his dick, mixed liquid and thick cum coming out of you, as he pulled out of you, his phone framing every single detail.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally pulled out, his throbbing cock glistening with your release. "Turn around, fuck- turn around now!" he ordered, his voice hoarse with arousal.

You turned around, and he stroked himself, his release painting a messy "C" on your back with his cum. "You read that, Matt? Hm? Stands for Chris," he said, a chuckle escaping his lips. His phone captured the final act, his mark on you, a declaration of ownership.

“Say hi to Matt!” He says, and you wave at him, your eyes closed. “Hi, Matt.” You say, completely worn out as he finally ended the recording and sent the unedited video to Matt without a second thought, a clear message that you were his and his alone.

He gently moved closer to you, pressing a tender kiss against your face. "You did so good f’me. So good,” he murmured appreciatively. The sudden loud knock at the door startled you, causing Chris to rise, his face appearing in the small opening of the door.

"Yes?" His voice echoing through the room.

"I feel compelled to bring this to your attention. There have been several complaints lodged regarding the level of noise coming from this area. It's becoming increasingly disruptive, so I must insist that all of you vacate the premises for now." relayed a hotel staff member from the other side of the door, his voice barely audible.

“Not gonna lie, I didn’t get shit of what you just said.” Chris says, making you chuckle while you still were coming down from your high.

"You guys need to leave. There have been complaints about the noise." the staff member clarified, his words resonating more clearly this time. Chris' face twisted into a frown.

“What?” He asked, disbelief coloring his tone.

"Do I need to call security?" The staff member questioned,warning him. Chris was quick to dismiss the threat.

"No--absolutely not. Just give us a few minutes. We need to... uhh-,” He trailed off, his gaze shifting to you, sprawled out on the bed, still recovering.

“You need to leave now," the staff member insisted. Chris slapped his thigh in frustration.

“Do I just walk out with my dick swinging from side to side, genius?" Chris shot back, a sarcastic smile tugging at his lips. The staff member sighed audibly.

"Fine. You have a few minutes," he conceded, leaving Chris to close the door behind him with a resigned sigh.

matt

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ambrosiagourmet · 23 hours

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Hey, Kabru and Mithrun spend some interesting time together, don't they?

With Mithrun having just officially premiered in the anime, and a lot of discussions swirling around about him, I've been thinking a lot about that section of the story quite a bit. These chapters - Roasted Walking Mushroom and 6 Days - are some of my favorites. For a lot of reasons, really. Not only are they are a huge turning point for the story as a whole, but they have some excellent character work, and represent an important shift in Kabru and Mithrun's individual arcs and relationship to each other.

The chapters are also kind of a fully contained story arc just on their own, which is an impressive bit of writing, and makes them super fun to analyze. So that's exactly what I'm going to do!

This will be structured as a close reading of chapters 61 & 62, with some asides for additional important context. I'm going to talk a little bit about a reading that I disagree with, but for the most part I just want to focus on how Kabru and Mithrun's relationship progresses during these two chapters. In particular, the ways they both grow from the time they spend together.

Also I just want to quickly note that this isn't written as Ship Content. It's meant to be an analysis of their relationship as presented in the text - layer whatever additional meanings and filters on top of that as you'd like, but please respect that my intent is not to talk about or champion a ship, or frame any of this content as romantic.

So, with that all being said:

How do Kabru and Mithrun help each other?

First of all, I think there are two important pieces of context that inform the Kabru & Mithrun Dungeon Adventure chapters. Both are related to Kabru's state of mind, and both are set up before or during the chapters in question.

The first is the context of what happened just before Kabru and Mithrun fell into the dungeon. Specifically, the events that led Kabru to make them fall.

Kabru, essentially, gives up his life at the end of chapter 55. When he stops Mithrun, and when they both plummet with the collapse of the first floor, he is okay with dying. Mithrun warns him that they will both die if Kabru doesn't let him go, and Kabru accepts this as a worthwhile exchange.

Why?

Well, because he doesn't want the elves to take over the dungeon. Throughout the last 3 chapters, the Canaries have been effective, but they have also been cruel in their efficiency, and they have made it clear that they don't care about collateral damage. They lured people into the dungeon specifically to provoke a violent reaction from it, without regard for who might get hurt by the violence.

What's more, they are keeping important information from Kabru, and he knows it.

He's not just looking for a solution, he's looking for the truth - a truth that he believes that he will only find through conquering the dungeon. With good reason, to be fair! The elves make it very clear that they aren't there to treat the other races on the Island as equals.

So Kabru uses the only tool he has available to him - his own life. It won't get him the truth, but it at least gives a chance for another person from a short-life species (namely, Laios) to earn it in his place.

This dovetails nicely with the more thematic context that's introduced in at the start of chapter 61: the room where he could eat all the cake he wanted.

This place, a place that Kabru never wants to go back to, is a place where he is safe, and a place where he is ignorant. A place where he is sheltered from danger, but also from the truth. The same place the Island would become, if the Canaries had their way. He doesn't just want to be safe, and he doesn't even just want the world to be safe, though he does want to be able to protect people from what happened in Utaya.

But he doesn't just want to entrust that safety to the paternalism of the elves (especially since he is all too aware of the ways they can fail, or the people they are willing to sacrifice in the name of that "safety"). He wants to be given the agency to seek safety and peace for himself.

He wants to understand. And he wants the chance to act.

This is the context we have, going into the arc of 61 & 62. But before I talk about how the chapters build on this context, I want to take a step back and look at what else the chapters establish early on, before delving into their exploration of Kabru's agency.

First of all, I kind of want to challenge the framing of Kabru and Mithrun's relationship as solely that of a caretaker and his charge.

Obviously, Kabru is forced into a caretaker position - at the threat of his friend's safety, no less. (Okay, it's actually Toshiro and Namari that are being held, but still. There are hostages involved in this) But I do think it's important that Mithrun isn't the one who puts Kabru in this position - Cithis is.

Before this conversation, Kabru and Mithrun are already exploring the dungeon together. Mithrun doesn't threaten Kabru, or force his hand. He kind of just assumes that Kabru will join him. It's rude, and not particularly respectful, but given the dangers of navigating a dungeon alone, I don't think that's really an unreasonable assumption. And it certainly isn't the same as Cithis' approach.

If they were left alone with no intervention, they probably would have ended up in a similar position to the one that Cithis leveraged them into. Kabru is smart, and he could have figured out the things that Mithrun needed help with. And, to be clear, those are things that Mithrun needs help with not because he is selfish or thinks they are owed to him, but because he is disabled. It's not unreasonable for him to need that help, and it's not unreasonable for Kabru to provide it, under the circumstances.

Besides, they both need each other down there. Kabru wouldn't have survived without Mithrun - he doesn't know enough about monsters, and isn't familiar with the deeper dungeon's layout. And Mithrun wouldn't survive without Kabru - he isn't able to notice his basic needs and would burn himself out without food or rest, making him an easy target for the monsters he could otherwise take care of on his own.

Aside from both needing each other, another interesting layer to their relationship, which is established right away, is that Kabru doesn't have to - and literally cannot - put on a mask of social niceties around Mithrun. He can't suck up. It doesn't work.

So Kabru, who spends so much of his time concerned with how others perceive him, and who compromises his own comfort in order to become the most appealing version of himself at any given time, has that tool taken away. He has to help Mithrun, but notably, he can only help Mithrun to a certain point. He cannot compromise his open and honest feelings to help maintain someone else's view of the world - or at very least, it doesn't benefit him at all to do so.

Instead, they sit together, in the same position, share the same shitty mushroom dinner, because they both have to:

And that's notable, too. They both have to. Cithis' demand is most specific about the need to eat. Three meals a day! But this is something they both need, not just Mithrun.

Still, their relationship at this point still isn't exactly supportive, or even respectful. Kabru may have realized that he didn't need to keep up an act around Mithrun, but ya know, he still turns around an immediately try to, with that shitty mushroom dinner.

(The 'badly drawn shapeshift Kabru' gag here isn't just funny, imo, it's also a reminder of the thing he JUST LEARNED. Mithrun is immune to the Kabru smile anime sparkles filter.)

Mithrun also doesn't tell Kabru any helpful information at this point, and doesn't really put much effort into helping him at all. He slaps him awake out of a Nightmare, and treats him with the same disregard he did at the start of the chapter, focused entirely on moving ahead.

But then Mithrun collapses, and the current structure of their relationship collapses with him.

I think it's interesting here that the shift in their dynamic also includes Mithrun explicitly noticing Kabru's desires. Obviously it's not actually like some kind of I truly see you and recognize your humanity moment shared between them, but I do still like the way that it pulls Kabru's internal wants to the surface. Kabru not voicing his desires doesn't mean they don't exist, and Mithrun recognizes that the same way the dungeon does.

And then Mithrun does, in fact, grant one of Kabru's deepest desires. He tells Kabru the truth.

Just like how they are working together in the first place, this truth is as much a necessary concession to survival as anything. But that doesn't mean it's not impactful for Kabru. This is the thing that every other elf in his life has kept from him. A secret foundational to his core belief that long-life and short-life species can never come to mutual understanding.

And Mithrun isn't just giving him the bare minimum information here. What he shares isn't just a truth, it's his truth. It's a level of complete and total vulnerability that few people share with each other. And again - some of this may just be coincidence and necessity. I imagine Mithrun is so open, at least in part, because he doesn't have the same barriers that other people do when it comes to sharing these things.

But, then again... we see Mithrun at his most vulnerable and empathetic when he is talking to dungeon lords & potential dungeon lords, and trying to convey to them the truth of the trap they are walking into.

This face:

Is very similar to this face:

These are some of the few instances that we see Mithrun emote in this way, and his story does come just after he notices the dungeon responding to Kabru's desires.

But, no matter if Mithrun's openness is in response to Kabru being tangled in the dungeon's hunger, or just part of his nature (or, maybe, a little of both), his story changes things for Kabru. It gives him the chance to make actual choices, now that he understands the truth. It gives him a chance at agency in the story.

And he immediately turns around and uses some of that agency in an interesting way:

When asked about why he can't sleep, Mithrun says he needs to be magically compelled. Being magicked to sleep is simple, and it is efficient, but he doesn't even just say it's the best option. He seems to believe it is the only option.

So much in Mithrun's recovery has been framed through how it will let him fight the demon. Recover so that you can return to the dungeon. Sleep so that you can return to the dungeon. Eat so that you can return to the dungeon.

But rest, much like eating, isn't just about achieving the bare minimum required for efficiency. And as Senshi would probably say, the easiest path isn't always the best.

I don't think that the Canaries are intentionally running Mithrun ragged or anything, but as I mentioned earlier, they are very focused on efficiency, with little thought spared to what is lost or hurt in the process.

And there is something different about Mithrun's time with Kabru in the dungeon. Lycion even notes it, when they finally connect back up.

I don't think it's a huge leap to say that how Mithrun falls asleep here is emblematic of that difference. When Kabru helps Mithrun to sleep by massaging his feet, rather then using magic, he is explicitly taking a step beyond the minimum. He is providing comfort to a body that has been given only necessities for a long, long time.

These two events - Mithrun sharing the truth of the dungeon with Kabru, and Kabru choosing to help Mithrun to sleep through a foot massage - shift their relationship. There's a clear difference in how we see them treat each other, and especially in how Mithrun treats Kabru.

Before, Kabru provides food that he has gathered himself (okay, it was a mushroom he put his foot through on floor one, but the point still stands that Mithrun offered no help at all with getting food).

Afterwards, they gather food together.

Before, Mithrun teleports Kabru towards a monster, using him as a weapon when he can't find anything else.

Afterwards, he helps Kabru escape monsters, and fights them directly.

Before, he slaps Kabru awake after 5 hours of uncomfortable, Nightmare-filled sleep. A rest which, notably, Kabru didn't even intend to take for himself.

Afterwards, we see Mithrun keeping watch while Kabru sleeps in a bedroll.

I don't necessarily think that all of these things are choices that Mithrun consciously makes. Like, after 6 days, Kabru would have to get some actual sleep eventually, and Mithrun would pretty obviously have to keep watching during that time.

Nonetheless, there's still a difference in how these scenes are framed, and the fact that it is these things that are used to portray their journey together. Kabru is not the sole person providing food and sleep and safety - they provide these things for each other. Kabru eats alongside Mithrun, hunts alongside Mithrun, and he sleeps in the same way we see Mithrun sleep, laying down and resting deeply enough to be groggy when woken up.

What's more, during their time together, there are even a couple of instances of Kabru being more willing to care for himself and accept care. The sleeping is one example - note how he is surprised at having slept "that long" when told he was asleep for less than even the minimum recommended amount of nightly sleep - but I think the pattern of his eating is even clearer. In making sure that Mithrun eats regularly, he is forced to eat regularly too.

And I especially like the progression with the Barometz meal. After Mithrun has fallen asleep, Kabru thinks about wanting to "give [Mithrun] something nice to eat," but also notes that Mithrun's lack of desire "means there isn't even anything he wants to eat." So what does Kabru do?

He makes Mithrun something that he wants to eat.

I've already talked a bit about the ways that Dungeon Meshi depicts people finding support through "borrowing" the desires of the people who care for them, and I think this scene is a great example of that idea. Especially in the way that it pulls an expression of desire from Kabru, who is so prone to ignore his own hunger and needs. The meal may not end up anywhere close to the flavor intended, but it's still a far cry from the roasted walking mushroom.

All of these pieces come together at the end of chapter 62, resulting in a pivotal choice that could only happen because of the ways Kabru and Mithrun have, at least a little bit, grown closer to each other.

As they are preparing to leave, Kabru hears a bell ringing in the dungeon, just as he hears Toshiro's matching bell on the other side of the portal. Realizing Laios is nearby, Kabru hesitates. He knows the truth about the demon, and how he has a chance to act on it.

Cithis, the person who extorted Kabru into taking care of Mithrun in the first place, pushes for Mithrun to follow along with the plan.

(okay a quick aside here I just want to say I do love Cithis and I'm not trying to bash on her here. I just think it's interesting that she is the one to establish the terms of Mithrun & Kabru's cooperation, as well as the one who tells Mithrun to leave the dungeon at the end of the chapter)

But Mithrun doesn't go along with her command. Instead, he does something unexpected:

He asks what Kabru wants to do.

In contrast to Milsiril's smothering comfort,

and in contrast to his Mithrun's own assumption that Kabru will follow him, when they first wake up in the dungeon,

Mithrun follows Kabru's lead.

This, right here, is the change between them. Not only that, but it's a shift in the entire balance of agency in the dungeon. For what might be the first time in a very long time, Kabru - a tall-man - knows the truth, and is acting on it. He makes a huge decision purely on his own judgement. He is not trying to appease or coerce anyone, and he doesn't win Mithrun over by hiding his true intentions.

Rather, it's the honesty between them that builds to this moment. Mithrun's honesty earns Kabru's trust, and Kabru's honesty earns Mithrun's respect. They bond not because they are forced to spend time together, but because they choose to spend that time giving each other more than the bare minimum - even when they are both people used to accepting the bare minimum.

It echoes Laios' argument with Toshiro, in a way. They eat three square meals a day (Cithis mandated admittedly), they get plenty of sleep, and in doing these things, they take each other seriously. They treat each other as more than just a means to an end.

I don't necessarily think it's a flawless, unbreakable bond that's built during this time - hell, they both kind of revert back to their old behavior, once reunited with the rest of the Canaries. People don't completely change their habits overnight, after all.

But it is a shift. It's a shift that gives Kabru the chance to steer the story towards the ending he has fought for all his life, and it's a shift that helps Mithrun find a way to move forward after he loses his own reason for living. They reach their goals, and then they step past them - facing life beyond the moments they thought defined their reasons for living. Facing life beyond the bare minimum.

And that is how they help each other.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #kabru of utaya #mithrun of the house of kerensil #dungeon meshi spoilers #dunmeshi analysis

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ao3commentoftheday · 2 days

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how can i start writing more often?

That's going to depend what's stopping you from doing so. I'll tackle some of the common ones and see if that helps you out.

You're working or going to school full time or otherwise have a lot of responsibilities that fill your days

Writing doesn't have to be done in large chunks of time. You can write for ten minutes and still get something onto the page. You can also write by dictating a voice note into your phone and using speech-to-text to transcribe it. When you have a day off or a larger amount of downtime, try to block off some of it for writing or for editing those speech-to-text transcripts into a more polished story.

You don't have any ideas

Seek you writing prompt blogs. Make a post on your tumblr asking for requests. Expand the type of idea you're willing to write - not everything needs to be a 100K multichap, so think of a oneshot idea and write that instead.

Every time you think about posting a fic, you get so anxious you just stop writing

Write something that you're not planning to post. Write something by hand so that you can't post it without making the decision to transcribe it and post it later. Focus on the writing instead of the possible audience reactions to the writing.

You have an idea you love, but writing all of the backstory to get you to that point is so demotivating you can't even start

Make a bulleted list of all of the backstory components that need to be in place before you can get to the part of the story you want to write. Now write the part you're actually interested in. After you write that, check in with that bulleted list and see if any of those parts are more interesting now. If they are, write those too. If they're not, you're done and can move onto the next story. You can post those criteria as your summary or author's note or tags.

You have an idea you love, but all of the research you have to do first is so demotivating you can't even start

Do you actually need to do the research? Can you write the story in a way that hand-waves things (bring in some pseudo-science or a Fantasy Costco or something to get around what you're trying to figure out). Is there someone else who has done this research already? Do you know someone who loves researching that you could get to help you out? Is the research just an excuse for procrastination because the idea isn't fully baked yet?

You spend so much time researching that by the time you're ready to start writing you don't have any time left

Do you enjoy researching more than writing? Is there someone you can partner with to write the story based on your idea and research? Do you tend to research and write in the same block of time? In that case, separate those activities out. Research until you get to a good stopping point and then write until you run out of research and need to learn more.

Every time you start writing, someone interrupts you

If the interruptions come via social media or other online means, mute your notifications while you're writing. Change your status from online to do not disturb. If the interruptions are IRL, have a conversation with your family or roommates and work out an agreement where you can get blocks of time without interruptions or where you can put up a signal that you're writing and can't be disturbed. Get a whiteboard or sticky notes or something so that people can write down what they need from you and you can check it when you're done.

Every time you try to write, you get distracted by a bunch of other things and can't actually get much writing done

If you write on a device that connects to the internet, you can get really distracted by the internet. There are lots of tools out there to block out those kinds of distractions to help you right (example). You can also try writing by hand on paper so that the internet is further away from the task.

Writing is really intimidating. The blank page taunts you.

Start by writing out your idea at the top of the page. It doesn't have to be in-depth, it can just be something like "A and B are stuck in different locations for a long period of time and they discover they're in love with each other while writing letters back and forth." By doing this, the page is no longer blank so you can fool yourself into thinking you've already started writing and just need to continue.

When I sit down to write, I don't know where you start.

If you're in the process of writing a story, try not to end a writing session on the end of a scene. Either write the start of the next scene or stop writing before you hit the end of the current scene. Then the next time you write, you have a place to pick up from and don't need to make a choice of where to go next. If you're starting a new idea, start at the point where it's interesting. You can go back and write the boring part later if you decide you really want or need to.

There are lots more things that stop people from writing, but I'll let people in the notes add more examples. If you're a writer, how do you make time for writing?

#asks and answers #long post

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asterias-horny-corner · 2 days

Text

18+ content. Minors dni.

Jiyan headcanons.

Jiyan has a average cock, about 5.5 inches long. When he gets hard, it grows to about 7.76 inches. He has been curcumcised, and his base is well trimed. Probably has uneven balls, it gets really hard to keep himself packed in there.

He’s relatively quiet in bed, but when he does moan/whine/growl, it’s breathy n deep and you can feel him grow a little bit before returning to its usual erect size.

He likes clit and nipple play a lot. Enjoys feeling something soft and delicate and knowing that someone has trusted HIM with their body.

Idk why, but I just KNOW he wants kids. He won’t have them though, since he’s not exactly suited to be a father n he already stresses himself out about leaving his lover behind. He doesn’t want to leave his kids behind too. And besides, he knows that he’s not guaranteed to live in the battlefield, even if he is a resonater.

He would love to knock his lover up, but realistically, he’s not going to be able to. He doesn’t have the time for it. And while he fantasizes about having yet another reason to fight and protect, he’s not gonna be going through with the fantasy. Pull out game is incredible.

That said, there’s nothing compared to the release he feels seeing his lover gasping and panting while struggling to keep his seed inside their greedy hole. He likes watching them and listening to them after sex. Because he likes to cum inside, unless his dear is desperate for a period/cycle reset, the plan ‘B’ pill IS the plan A pill. Condoms? Never heard of ‘em. He’s only loyal to his little sweetheart anyway.

He’s always aware of what his lover’s cycle is like. You’re always gonna find a Pecok flower or a couple of gemberries from the front line in a letter from him whenever you’re close or on your period.

He’d absolutely love to send you exquisite chocolates and a bouquet of extravagant flowers, but this man is busy. And besides, his hand-picked flower is more than enough.

He’ll usually include a little bit of advice for you, whether it be on how to make up with a friend, reminding you of how to make his favorite childhood dish, or what supplements and herbs you should take to help ease your cramping symptoms and improve energy levels during your period. He used to be a military doctor, so he has knowledge of how to keep his love healthy ❤️

If he’s lucky enough to be able to take a couple of days off (which is very rare, the Tacet Discords are relentless and he doesn’t really trust anyone else to lead his army well, unfortunately,) he will be pampering and doing everything for you.

You are his best friend and the #1 reason why he keeps himself from getting too hurt. So he’s gonna spoil you, whether it’s getting a goddamn plate from the cupboard or letting you top him. Either way, you’re 100% going to have him following you around like a puppy.

His favorite sex position is missionary. He likes the feeling of your hands scratching at his back and feeling your legs wrapping around him. He also enjoys seeing your face, flushed and trembling with sweat and hickeys painting your perfect skin.

He tries very hard not to be greedy. He really does. Silently watching you through half-lidden golden touched eyes, he’ll always look away from you whenever you’re doing something particularly important and yet arousing. More often than not, though, he keeps himself restrained when you’re visiting.

And whenever you do visit the front lines, he’ll have you escorted to and from the site- resonator or not. You usually like to bring a little something for him, and even if you’re the worst cook in the world, he’ll always eat it. Especially since military rations are bland and dry or bitter and hard. Resources are scarce and jinzhou’s supply chains are limited.

But sometimes, Jiyan can’t help himself. He’ll pull you into his office, sit you on his desk, and let himself be greedy. He gives so much for the people of Jinzhou, he deserves to piston in and out of your gummy walls while you’re a whimpering, whining mess.

Yes, everyone can hear you specifically. They’re completely aware that their general’s currently working on his little sweetheart, and they’re going to ignore it to the best of their abilities. People will leave the office’s vicinity to keep themselves from earning a scolding from their general later.

Your noises are meant for him. Your sweet moans are his favorite song, and if anyone else is listening to what belongs to him, he tends to be in a bad mood when you’re on your way home. But he won’t do anything worse than scold his peers on listening in to his “private life” and take it out on Tacet Discords.

All in all, he wants a romantic relationship and someone to hold and love. But the both of you have to sacrifice a lot to keep Huanglong safe.

#jiyan x f!reader #18+ content #smut #wu jinyan #jiyan smut #jiyan x reader #wuwa jiyan #jiyan wuthering waves #minors dni #Asteria Writes

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diagonal-queen · 2 days

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Uuuuuuh, an idea has just arrive on my mind🤭 you know that boys usually tease girls they like right? I’m really curious how Tachihara and tecchou would do it… (I’m really curious for tecchou😭)

Teasing their crush

♡ pairing: Tecchou Suehiro, Tachihara Michizou, Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoyevsky x fem!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these boys tease the girl that they like (that's you!)?

♡ cw: Swearing, Jouno suffers a lot, Fyodor is toxic as always, mention of suicide, I somehow manage to bring Astarion up here?? (sorry)

note: i know i know. it's been a while, and i apologise. i just have been so so busy. right now i'm in an exhausted trance writing this and i'm certain i'll wake up tomorrow with no recollection of writing it at all. also threw in dazai and fyodor for the sillies i hope you don't miiind~ as always apologies for errors and i hope you enjoy x

Tecchou:

I cannot see him teasing you.

I'm sorry anon but I just can't see him teasing a girl he likes. He would either be generally nice to her, super awkward but still okay, or just come off as cold and aloof. He wouldn't go out of his way to tease a girl or exchange playful banter with her

If he ever tried to tease he would probably just straight up be mean and insult you or something. And then he wouldn't understand why it didn't work

(Jouno is smacking his head against the wall)

Don't worry. If he's gonna cope with his feelings for you he's gonna do it in a way that benefits you i.e. he's just going to be super obvious about it and not even try to hide it

(update: Jouno is still smacking his head against the wall. someone help him)

Like he'll just openly buy you food and presents and tell you he likes you and like hold your hand and shit?? Tecchou is no-nonsense. He wants to date you, he'll let you know.

And it's not like Tecchou's trying any 'techniques' or anything like that. There is not a THOUGHT behind those beautiful eyes; he's just following his heart <3

Tecchou might be a bit dense when it comes to such socially complicated things as courting, but he's a genuine person and wants to make you feel appreciated, and let you know he loves you. He just does it in the only ways he knows how <3

Tachihara:

The opposite of Tecchou

He's such a teaser. He likes to make jokes with and poke fun at his love interests, but sometimes might go a bit too far with it (If he does he genuinely feels super bad and apologises dw T-T)

Like he's one of those kinds of guys who you would get so caught up in the flirty banter with that you just talk for hours

If you're texting you guys are both kicking your legs and squealing in between texts lowkey, like you're secretly such lovesick dorks but you play it so cool

Some kaguya sama love is war type shit you guys have going on

And god forbid you do this in front of other people. They're probably SO uncomfortable. Like oh my god get a room already (this dot point was ghostwritten by Jouno)

As you two get more and more into it, he becomes less tease-flirty and more sweet-flirty. He genuinely compliments you instead of exchanging little jabs and backhanded teases, and it's so CUTE

He also, for some reason, gets more shy instead of less shy. He blushes, he messes with his hair- AUGH he's so cute

In all honesty no matter what way, shape or form Tachihara flirts with you, even if he's awkward and fumbles each time, he's still such a charmer that you can't help but love him anyway. some messy hair and a sweet boyish grin goes a LONG way!

Dazai:

This is what I like to call Egotistical Flirting

He will tease you by telling you how much you love him, how much other women love him, how wonderful of a guy he is and how great of a deal he's constantly offering you. Yes, the 'deal' in question is dinner and a movie double suicide

And of course you roll your eyes and chuckle, and while he pretends that he's all offended that you aren't openly falling for it, he LOVES that. He loves your affectionate sarcasm and he could milk it out of you for days if he had the time

And he doesn't even wait to even learn your name before he immediately goes full on womaniser. He would just approach you like 'Heyyy~' and it's all downhill from there.

Dazai is a man on a MISSION is what I'm saying

He will also tease you by embarrassing you. He just says the most oUT OF POCKET stuff out of nowhere in public?? He absolutely delights in seeing you get all embarrassed and having you swat at him and scold him

(He's a bit of a masochist don't question it)

Naturally, this is generally a facade to hide the fact that he is hopelessly infatuated with you, and kinda scared of commitment. He hopes you'll accept him as he is but just in case... it's easier to put up a nonchalant front.

Don't worry Dazai. you've got nothing to worry about. :)

Fyodor:

Mind games. Mind games. MIND GAMES

And not the good kind!

He will tease you with this neat little trick he uses called psychological warfare. In his experience it's 100% effective

Fyodor is a toxic little shit. He doesn't often really 'tease' so much as 'neg'. He doesn't quite care too much about your esteem as long as he's able to make you like him back.

You guys know this thing called Ascended Astarion? yeah this is basically just that but ✨ Russian ✨

All this being said he actually does feel affection and love towards you, and he DOES care. He just doesn't want you to reject him, so he'll use any trick necessary to prevent that (regardless of general ethics for the most part)

Fyodor is an all rounder. He'll tease, show genuine affection, neg, flirt, stalk, lovebomb...the whole shebang (I'm sure he asked Nikolai for tips, and I'm even more sure Nikolai had MANY)

Fyodor is just so emotionally out of touch when it comes to other people that he genuinely has no idea how to just...flirt, or even really be casual, like a normal person. It would be sad if he wasn't such a motherfucker

Honestly all of you 'I could fix him' girlies would fall hook line and sinker for this (and I'm allowed to say that because I am one of you)

In the end...man, just date Tachihara

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen, @call-me-albie

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tarotwithlove · 2 days

Text

PICK A CARD ⭒ how are you glowing up?

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · knight of wands, knight of pentacles, eight of wands, king of pentacles, five of cups, spellcasting oracle: passion, trust, boundaries

channelled songs · spaghettii by beyoncé, linda martell, shaboozey. cold killer by hui & jinhyuk. try a little tenderness by otis redding. bonnie & clyde by terrell.

hey there group one ♡ your glow up is all about physical movement and the way that you move your body. as such, you may be a dancer, ice skater, or gymnast; one who is improving in your level of physical skill and ability.

this glow up comes with you being seen as more of a professional or expert in your field, and will both lead to and come about of you winning competitions and/or meets. it will also lead to your partner (dance partner, ice skating partner, etc), coach, or manager trusting you with harder routines or more difficult stunts. and to them trusting you to compete in competitions with stricter judging -- or other things along these lines.

but this trust is only a trust you are feeling in yourself. you are glowing up because you are putting more trust and more faith in yourself and in those who guide you, lead you, teach you, and even those who judge and compete against you. you are more assured of yourself and your abilities, which means you are pushing yourself harder -- and which will lead to you reaping rewards upon rewards, and only glowing up more and more. like an endless cycle of glowing up in your field.

GROUP TWO

cards · ace of swords, ten of pentacles, nine of pentacles, knight of pentacles, king of cups, spellcasting oracle: truth, closure, career

channelled songs · call me baby by exo. when the chips are down by andré de shields. neverletyougo by role model. dance with me by 112.

hey there group two ♡ at the moment, you may be feeling very lonely. you may spend a lot of time alone, because you do not have friends or because you do not have any friends *anymore*. but, you are soon going to be glowing up in your social life. you are going to be gaining new friends. you are going to be gaining a new community. you are going to be gaining all these people around you who are going to be supporting you and who are going to be there for you -- wholly and entirely.

someone in this new social circle may help you with a job, which may even be your dream job. someone else in this circle may be your future partner or may even be a future spouse. but all these relationships and connections branching out of this new friend group, new community, are not what’s important. what is important is that you will no longer be alone.

so just enjoy your new friends. enjoy your community. enjoy being loved and uplifted and supported and getting to do all those things with these friends that you have always wanted to do.

GROUP THREE

cards · justice, temperance, three of pentacles, six of swords, page of pentacles, spellcasting oracle: peace, passion, reconciliation

channelled songs · st jude by florence + the machine. bamboleo by red velvet. furious by ja rule. you and i in unison by la dispute.

hey there group three ♡ you are glowing up spiritually and in your intuition. you are trusting god (the divine, the universe, your ancestors, your guides, whoever is your higher power) more. much, much more.

trusting god so much that you are letting go of control and, for once in your life, truly going with the flow.

it is as if you are starting over from the ground up and fully putting your trust and faith in something higher and greater than you. which may even be your higher or future self. and, thus, creating a stronger connection with said higher power.

this may not feel like anything major to you but trust me when i say that it is. tune in now, notice that feeling of peace. of serenity. of calmness. embrace it and rejoice in it.

GROUP FOUR

cards · four of wands, four of cups, wheel of fortune, temperance, eight of swords, spellcasting oracle: happiness, friendship, home

channelled songs · your letter by 112. cover up by taeyeon. have it all by jason mraz. sober mind by monaleo.

hey there group four ♡ you are growing into your own, wholly and completely. you may be getting your own place soon, with friends or with someone you are very close to, like a lover, sibling, or cousin. or you may find a roommate that you will become good friends with. or you may be moving into a better place.

with this glow up, there is this energy of a weight being lifted off your shoulders. especially that you have your own place to call home. you will find yourself feeling free -- freer than you have ever felt in your life, and like you can finally be yourself without worry or concern. you are no longer having to hide yourself or your truth, or worry about people keeping tabs on you and looking too deeply into every decision that you make.

for some of you, this is because you are escaping an abusive or oppressive household. but even if not, having your own place is just something that will make you feel like a brand new person. like the person you have been waiting to become.

you can finally live life according to your own standards, instead of to somebody else’s rules! and i am so, so excited for you!

#**#tarot #pick a card #pac #tarotblr #tarotonline #tarotcommunity #tarotcreator #witchblr #witch of color #divination #channelled messages #channeled messages #spirituality #spiritualism

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themirokai · 3 days

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Some thoughts from 40.

Look, being young is overrated. I was so unsure of myself for so long. There is so much uncertainty in your youth. For me there was so much striving for so much of my life.

Now, at 40, I feel so much more settled. I’m comfortable in my skin in a way I never was when I was younger, and generally I curate my look purely for my own pleasure without worrying about anyone else’s opinion.

I know basically what the shape of my life is. It’s not perfect but it’s good. It’s comfortable. Even if I decide to change jobs or something, I have a pretty good understanding of what that would mean.

And I’m settled in my personality too. I’m not perfect, far from it. But I have a better understanding of my flaws and what about them I can and have to accept and what I can keep working on improving. So like, when I have an over-the-top emotional reaction to something in a way that’s not helpful, I’m a lot better at recognizing that for what it is and I’m better at taking a beat and trying to fashion a more helpful response.

I’m also better at recognizing and internalizing that everyone is dealing with their own shit all the time. Sometimes other people’s shit has to do with me, but most of the time, though their shit is influencing how they deal with me, it’s not about me. And related, I’m better at knowing when my internal shit is impacting how I deal with someone else.

I think the overarching thing here is that I’m comfortable in myself. And that includes hanging out on tumblr and writing fan fiction.

So for anyone worried about getting older, I can confidently say, at least in my experience, it’s fun and great. You don’t need to be scared, especially if you view getting older as an opportunity to do more things and get more cool.

#miro irl

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 1 day

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ppl please. You are making Vaggie stupider than she is in canon

"Why didn't Vaggie know angel weapons could kill angels, when Lute used one to permanently gouge out her eye-"

Because Lute also ripped off her wings, seemingly permanently, WITHOUT using a weapon.

It makes sense that Vaggie would figure only other ANGELS can HURT angels. And that's still not the same as KILLING ONE.

You can say "well if she was scarred then by it then she should've assumed a real attack could have killed her" but why? In hell, Sinners can be TORN APART and pull themselves back together. Why wouldn't Vaggie assume that she can take damage up to a point but still not die? Or that she would just reform again afterwards?

"It was a writing mistake to have Vaggie not confess her past to Charlie before they went to heaven, no believable character would do that-"

It was a character flaw, one many other characters in the show have, and it is very true to life that longer you keep a secret about yourself- especially one you're afraid people will hate you for- the harder it is to admit to it.

We know she feels like her only point in existing is to help Charlie. She said it. And later it ties in perfectly with her backstory of losing everything about herself and being found by Charlie, of rejecting her life killing Sinners and devoting herself to supporting the dream of saving them instead.

We also know the last time she "failed" people in her life she was hurt and abandoned by them. We know her FIRST plan was to NOT go to heaven with Charlie, to try and make some kind of excuse.

But then she couldn't come up with a good excuse. And she couldn't bring herself to say no to her supportive and loving girlfriend. And then they were in heaven, facing a COURT HEARING to decide the fate of SOULS, that her girlfriend would have to argue a case for-

Does that really sound like the best time to drop an emotional relationship truth bomb?

Sound. Not "was". Would it have FELT LIKE a good time to come clean to Charlie about being a former Exorcist.

HOW would it have FELT like a good time for that to Vaggie? Especially after Adam and Lute got through telling her how being scarred and crippled by them was her fault, being left down in hell by them was her fault, and her girlfriend will ALSO hate her if the truth comes out?

THIS IS A SHOW. ABOUT PEOPLE. WHO MAKE CRAPPY SELF-SABOTAGING CHOICES (look at Angel Dust) AND THEN HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH THE FALL OUT OF THaT

THATS THE SHOW

THATS. THE POINT OF THE HAZBIN HOTEL

it's not "bad writing" when a WOMAN does it TOO without an essay explaining her every thought leading up to it!

like im sorry her scenes were rushed, im sorry they had worse animation and story boarding and pacing than the guys' moments get, im sorry she didn't get more focus, im sorry she isn't a fav character of the show creators-

but she IS well written. tbh all of the characters in the show are.

they do things that makes sense based on what they've been through, and what they feel, and what they want, and that's. that's good character writing.

i don't LIKE a lot of the characters but they're still WELL WRITTEN

I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT VAGGIE- BUT ONLY BECAUSE IM OBESSEED WITH HER AND WANT TO CRAWL INSIDE HER SKULL! SHE IS, IN THE SHOW, A PERFECTLY BELIEVABLE CHARACTER

bad writing would have been- her getting angry at Charlie for being upset about the secret! it would've been her CAVING to Adam's blackmail and arguing against Angel Dust to save herself! It would've been her moping on the top of the hotel while Charlie was angry with her instead of actively doing what she could to help, like she did!

i've lived through SO MANY badly written characters DO NOT try telling me VAGGIE is one of them- i remember the horrors. THIS is not THAT

......anyway

im probably gonna regret posting this aren't i

#hazbin hotel #vaggie

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cepheustarot · 19 hours

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What awaits you in June?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

✧ Masterlist ✧ Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: Now you may feel that you are in an indecisive state, in a situation that has not developed for a long time. Because of this stagnation you could not do anything, find a solution, you could generally feel at a dead end, as if you had no answers to the questions that have been tormenting you for a long time. In June you will finally be able to get out of this state, an opportunity will open up for you to do this, perhaps the situation will move forward and you will find some kind of solution or they will help you, lend a hand. The cards show that to a greater extent your condition is related to the situation with a person dear to you, it can be someone from your family or close circle, a friend or lover. In any case, here you will resolve the impasse, everything will be solved safely for you. The cards also show that your decision will affect your life and your well-being for the better, you will finally feel like a stone fell from the soul, you will feel easier to breathe, you will feel happiness, some freedom, peace, tranquility, background anxiety will disappear.

This month you will also meet a new person, they will be very friendly, open to you, sociable, quite attractive, has an alluring charisma, handsome enough, knows his stuff, is quite capable and not someone who worries about little things. As the cards show, it will be a good acquaintance, you will have a good time together, it will be interesting for you to talk to each other, however, from your side I see a certain distance, as if you are distrustful of a person and are in no hurry to open up to them, share something personal. Here is about the initial stage of acquaintance, when you just get to know each other, make up the first impression of a person, here we are talking about a slow rapprochement with each other.

You will spend the remaining days of the month quite calmly and peacefully, you can often see your close friends, family or your siblings. It will be a good time, without quarrels and misunderstandings, you will really feel comfortable and safe.

Pile 2: You will be "in great demand" at the beginning of the month! Not a day will pass without meeting someone, a lot of people will want to spend time with you and will often invite you to meetings and, judging by the cards, you will accept their invitations. The maps show that you will often gather with a group of close friends but I can't say that you will have a big company, rather only those people whom you have known for a long time and with whom you have built a strong connection. You can also be invited on a romantic date! Someone can make a marriage proposal this month and someone can be invited to a wedding. In any case, you will have busy days here at the beginning of summer.

Also this month, you will go on a trip that you have planned with another person. For some, it will also be a business trip. As the cards show, all the goals that you planned to accomplish during this trip will be fulfilled, all the places that you would like to visit will be visited, in a word, your plans and wishes will be realized. But there may be a quarrel, misunderstanding with the person with whom you went and partly this will spoil your mood and positive attitude, take this into account!

At the end of the month, you may have a joint project with people that will need to be done and submitted before the deadline. Some may have exams during this period or final tests. As the cards show, you will throw all the forces into solving these tasks, preparing and your efforts will be justified, you will get a good result, the one you wanted to see! But at the same time you will feel a lot of fatigue and some apathy, so you should pay attention to your rest and recuperation. Moreover, you had quite busy days before that.

Pile 3: At the beginning of the month you will have thoughts about changing something: this may concern both your social circle and your environment, you may want to settle in a new place, you will want to change your job, field of activity. But mostly the cards show that many will move and for some it will be a forced move when you are already happy in this place, but by coincidence and for certain reasons you need to move. You will leave past connections, past friends, you may feel sad because of this, but there is no feeling that you will now be alone in a new place. On the contrary, you are driven by curiosity, interest, since you are essentially expanding your horizons, it will be interesting for you to explore your new place, you will adapt relatively quickly.

However one of your loved ones will not tolerate such a distance between you, perhaps it will even be your lover. This person will begin to respond coldly, will tell little about himself and little ask about you, will often disappear. It is very difficult for them without you, they are sad and worried, worried that your relationship will get worse, will not be so strong. You may also feel tired because of moving or some other kind of change of things, as it is emotionally and physically exhausting, you may not be able to keep in touch with your loved ones because of this condition, as you need to regain strength, adapt to a new place.

At the end of the month, you will feel that it is very difficult for you but you will be able to get out of this difficult state. Remember that the transition to a new stage of life is always difficult and need time to deal with this, do not rush yourself and give yourself time to get used to it. As the cards show, you will definitely cope with everything and feel better, you will begin to feel a surge of vital energy, some activity will appear in you, a desire to do something. The cards also show that you will devote enough time to work or your hobby, you will be satisfied with what you are doing and you will feel pleasure. It will also help you improve your condition.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

#tarot #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #pac #pick a photo #pick a picture

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11rosebunny · 1 day

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— CHARACTER WITH STUPID READER !!

content: f!reader, fluff

characters: Haruka Sakura, Hajime Umemiya, Toma Hiragi, Hayato Suo, Jo Togame, Tomiyama Choji

Haruka Sakura

He is equally as stupid so it's not surprising whenever somebody sees you two, they can expect one of you to start jumping from building to building like a monkey.

Nobody knows how you two are even living, especially with the way you meet new people could rub off the wrong way, you two are known for your notorious insults...

However, you are dumber than him which is terrible, when two stupid people pair up together, what do you expect? He sometimes gets frustrated if you two end up arguing, you can't even help each other when none of you know what to do, and the worst part is he can not have peace and quiet if you're around.

Hajime Umemiya

This boy finds it funny because of how stupid you are. If anything, he will still treat you well just like everybody else but sometimes, when he sees you mess up during an argument, say something abominable that could get you locked up in jail, start a fight because someone looked at you funny, or genuinely mess up any task your given, he does end up getting a bit annoyed, because how do you mess up watering plants?

It's like he has a personal dog, like a border collie that runs around in circles chasing their own tail, it's funny, cute, but also a lot of responsibility...

Toma Hiragi

He feels like he's raising his own child. Suo had noticed that he'd always have to pick you up and toss you over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes before you did anything remotely moronic that could lead you in a huge mess.

He needs double the stomachache pills when he's around you... which is all the time.

He still finds it cute and engaging to see you act all clumsy and oblivious to anything, the only down part is he doesn't like it when you can't read the room. He has to cover your mouth with his hand before you continue to talk about something that would get you beaten up, drag you away and apologize on your behalf before scolding you in a random alleyway, if it was from a different perspective, a person would have assumed he was babysitting his friend's younger sister.

Hayato Suo

Surprisingly, he deals with you very well.

He knows how to correct behaviours in a proper manner, something Toma lacks... he's learned the different tricks and plans to get you to stop acting like a nuisance whenever he doesn't approve of the way you're acting, and it works very well!

He'll tell you to stop and let you off with a warning, cherish the way you light up whenever you're speaking a little too loud in public, he even lets you insult someone as long as you don't take it too far.

Jo Togame

To be honest, he has the slightest interest in stupid girls.

He wasn't aware that that could be a type of personality he was interested in till he met you. Your outlook on situations, people, objects, drama, made him have to take a double guess on you, he convinced himself for a while you were maybe just outgoing, till listened to you speak one day that you used to think the moon would always follow you as a kid whenever you were in a very long car ride.

'Maybe she is just stupid...'

Like Umemiya, he will love the way how funny you are without even trying. If he were to just look at you from across the room and you were simply just standing there, he would start snorting to himself to refrain from bursting out laughing. But, instead of stopping you from doing dumb things, he lets you continue to do them. The only reason why allows you is because he knows he can always stop you whenever you go to far.

Tomiyama Choji

Everyone has to run and hide from you two if you manage to come in their sight.

Choji was already bad enough in the beginning, especially for Togame who had to withstand if from the very start, so once you rolled around, he oddly began to fall sick even more, weird...

You two are known for being trouble makers, because this boy does not stop you from doing stupid things, in fact, he might even encourage it if it's just you two alone and have no one else to tell you otherwise.

You're not alone when you do your stupid things, because 99% of the time, he's joining you. The only time he'll stop you is if he or you gets hurt, not even before you get hurt, it's only after.

He loves the way you're just as outgoing as him, he finds it amazing that you're able to keep up with his personality.

#wind breaker #windbreaker #windbreakerxreader #hajime umemiya #hajime umemiya x reader #haruka sakura #haruka sakura x reader #taiga tsugeura #jo togame #wind breaker x reader #wind breaker manga #hayato suo x reader #toma hiragi #toma hiragi x reader #tomiyama choji x reader #tomiyama choji #jo togame x reader

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attorneys-against-court-violence · 2 days

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Athena Cykes probably had a lot of self-identity issues as a kid.

She grew up in a strange, wonderous place filled with robots her mother and Aura built together. Rarely could she function outside in everyday life. She's told it's because she notices things people can't, does things people don't usually do. She's told she's... stranger than most, in various ways.

Why was she so different? Why is she the only one who can hear how offput people are around her? How come she's the only one who sees robots as people?

Is everyone else deaf or is she too aware to be 'normal' by their standards?

Perhaps she's a robot too, like the rest of her mother's creations? That makes sense! They can hear everything she can and they understand each other. Love each other, it feels like. Juniper probably giggled when she told her, assuring her that they'd be friends whatever Athena thought she was. Simon merely lets her get on with things because it helped her make more sense to herself. And it does help; imagining that all she needs to fix her ears and her brain was to tighten a single loose screw or type a line of code or... or... something her mother could easily do but always denies her. Does she need to be fixed too? Is she broken, like Athena was?

Everyone else though, she could tell they thought she had gotten weirder. But it makes sense to her. Why are they so obtuse and unwilling to listen?!

Nobody listened to her when she stood up for Simon's innocence. Face full of tears and voice strained from yelling and choking back phlegm and fear alike and no one listened to her. She might as well have been speaking in hexidecimal to these people the way they looked at her like some intrusive stranger in the middle of their wretched witch-burning.

When she moves to Europe, it's a total system-shock; no longer is she surrounded by laboratories and metallic friends, permitted to wile the days away playing in the flowering fields of her mother's research. Now she was in a regular brick-and-mortar home surrounded by... ordinary people, so few of which ever bothered to understand her in the past and certainly not now.

No one was going to help me solve this, she figured.

Neither could she at the time.

We don't know what friends or family she has in Europe who'd be willing to listen to her woes and at least try to understand. She probably didn't have time; someone was hurting far away from her and she NEEDED to save him. She NEEDED to untangle all the crossed wires and messy cables in her brain to stand a chance at ever helping him. And maybe, just maybe, finally understand why people never bothered to understand her.

Psychology is the study of the human mind. With the wisdom of psychologists past filling her brain and the gentle support of her mother's ghost - distant but encouraging even in death - she might just have a weapon to fight off all this doubt. One she can turn on others' internal confusion as well. To be the person she needed in her darkest hours, crying her eyes out in a hopeless feedback-loop wondering just why she was so alone.

To be someone willing to listen and understand. For herself, and for others.

(She might also be robokin but she has a full-time job and heavy sleep deprevation so she doesn't really care about that rn)

#ace attorney #athena cykes #ace attorney headcanon #hi it's been a while anyways did we tell you athena's super fucking important and special #because she is and probably one of us on top of that too #the attorney page is back in BUSINESS bitches!

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hwaslayer · 2 days

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favorite things | pmylm drabble (jyh)

⇢ favorite things - drabble one // ft. the pmylm couple

summary: yunho's been having a rough time adjusting to the 'real world' and gets upset when he can't have the person he needs the most right away.

words: 2.8k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy/insecurities, yuyu is upset and doesn't really know how to control his feelings rn cause he is just a tired boy 😭, a small lil fight, the awkward silent treatment, yuyu and yeo talk thru his feelings for a bit, kissing/making out, sorry if i missed anything i quickly whipped the rest of this in bed lol

a/n: whipped this baby up because i just felt the need to and i missed my babies!! (+ this lil IG inspo hehe) more drabbles to come 🫶🏼 love you in slow motion update this weekend annnnd i’m gonna have to push back the fallen angel hwa fic cause im all over the place 🥹 but we’ll do better!! lol stay tuned!!

Yunho has entered the real world and he is exhausted. When his mom used to joke about living and working in this so-called real world, he used to think it was just a thing to keep him on his toes, shake him up a little bit.

Nope, that shit was all real.

And he hates it.

He hates it because it's the one thing that brings another fight to the table for your relationship. Ultimately, Yunho knows all he has to do is adjust and he'll be fine in the long run. Both of you will be fine in the long run.

But today, that feels like a stretch and he is short of patience. Unusually short of patience than usual. He knows you don't mean any harm but for some odd reason, today he feels like the world is going to swallow him alive and everything is triggering.

The first thing is the fact that he has to stay a bit later than usual to finish up a project he had been working on. He was hoping to rush home and spend some time with you before you were off to practice for the evening, spending 2-3 hours with your friends and the group.

That didn't happen.

So, when he gets home and you've already texted him saying you've left with a sad, crying face, he's bummed. He gets himself comfortable anyway, heating up a cup of ramen since he's not too hungry. Maybe he'll get some food with you when you're out— it's one of his favorite things to do.

Now, the second thing that makes him a little more irked is the fact that 2-3 hours go by and you haven't texted. He knows practice can run long, but it's also a little unusual for you to not keep him updated. You finally do a bit past 8pm with a quick:

you: hi baby, sorry! practice was a bit busy, i was caught up during breaks. i'll be home soon then i'll come over after i shower, okay? wait for me (: we should go on a food run! hehe

yunho: sounds good, love. i'll be here.

It closes to 9pm and Yunho isn't hungry anymore. The cup of ramen will do since there seems to be a dim chance of getting food with you, especially when you tell him you'll be over in a quick second but you’re still nowhere to be found. Yunho charges to the door anyway and is hoping to greet you when he swings the door open. Instead, he's greeted with you laughing and giggling with Hyunjin downstairs in the lot as he hands you a bag of to-go food.

Let's set the record straight— Yunho loves your friends. He knows he can trust them, and he knows they're all genuinely good people. He's always been happy you had a good group of people around you.

It's just today, he really, really missed you. After a long ass day. And he knows you [and Hyunjin] mean no harm in your actions, but he can't help but feel a tad bit insecure [and slightly jealous] that you aren't rushing over to see him after not being with him all day. He knows he can blame this on the fact that he's exhausted and a little short on patience. God knows he really did try to keep it cool and brush it off.

He couldn't help it.

Yunho shuts the door again, leaving it unlocked for whenever you feel ready to come upstairs and hang out with him. He sits on his computer chair, irritated, and throws on a game to distract himself momentarily. Maybe it'll help ease whatever he's feeling,

But, nope.

It doesn't.

Because when you walk in, you're still yelling out to Hyunjin and whoever before you shut the door, place the food on the counter and walk into his room. You throw your arms around him from behind and Yunho lets out a small, audible sigh. That was already alarming enough for you, but you still dip your head to the side and try to grab his attention.

"Hi." You place a quick, chaste quick to his cheek, but Yunho doesn't move.

"Hey."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Is all he says plainly. "I was just waiting for you."

"I know, but Hyunjin stopped by to give us food—"

"I thought we were gonna grab food together?"

"Oh." You frown because it completely slipped your mind, or else, you would've left the food at your own apartment to save it for tomorrow instead. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't think he was gonna swing by with food. We all left each other earlier without any plans of—"

"It's okay." He taps your arms as a signal for you to let go of him. "You should go eat."

"We can share, there's more than enough—"

"All good." It's petty of Yunho, he knows. For him, it's the fact that you told him you wanted to go on a food run after practice. Another small, but meaningful thing you two did often. He doesn't blame Hyunjin for anything at all, no. There was no way of preventing that, and who the fuck was he to make you reject food from a friend?

He just wished he could take you to get food. Watch you order your favorites and do your happy dance in his passenger's seat. It's another one of his favorite things.

"Yunho." You slowly step aside and sit on his bed, your appetite all of a sudden gone from how distant your boyfriend is being. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"It's fine."

"Is it really? Because something feels off and I wanna know what I did so I can fix it."

"It's nothing, Y/N." You almost flinch at the way he calls you your name instead of his cute endearing nicknames. It throws you off guard so much that you resort to a flimsy, broken:

"Okay." It's barely above a whisper. You stand to head back out to the kitchen, quietly eating a bit of Hyunjin's extra to-go thai food before setting some aside in a tupperware for Yunho and placing it in the fridge. The rest of the night goes.. like that.

In silence. With weird tension.

You hate it.

You wish you could just fix whatever you did wrong, or that Yunho would tell you no matter how 'silly' it may sound. He's always been so good with communicating, even during small disagreements, you weren't sure why he was avoiding it this time around.

You quietly get ready for bed, brushing your teeth and flossing before changing out of your sweats and hoodie to Yunho's shirt. You pad into the room, slipping yourself deep under the sheets and pull up some vlogs on Youtube that you need to catch up on.

"Tired?" Yunho asks from his computer chair, still playing his game.

"Mhm." You look at him, hoping he'd come over to kiss you, cuddle you. Shut off the computer and lay next to you, show you any kind of affection. He doesn't budge, though. You feel your bottom lip trembling, your heart slowly cracking in various places. You have to take a breath to prevent yourself from crying, and Yunho can feel it. He can feel your gaze on him, he can tell you're seconds away from crying. So, Yunho stands and shuts off his computer. But, he starts to head out to the living room and you're on the verge of breaking down. His way of avoiding the issue and getting more upset was to shut down. Deflect.

This wasn't like Yunho at all so you knew something was wrong; something was that bothersome to him.

"Baby." You call for him softly, and he just looks at you. You can tell he's conflicted between keeping this up and dropping it entirely, but it doesn't seem to be enough. It's not enough for him to drop it because his expression doesn't change. He still seems cold, distant. Tired. Unlike the Yunho you're so, so used to seeing and having.

"I'm just tired. Go to sleep."

"Where are you going?"

"The living room."

"Let me come with you."

"Y/N. Please go to sleep. I told you nothing was wrong." You watch the way his jaw slightly ticks before brushing you off completely and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. A loud sigh escapes his lips as he treads to the couch and plops onto it, leaning his head back onto the edge. He shuts his eyes, giving himself some time to sort through his feelings because what the fuck, Jeong Yunho?

He knows this is much needed, though. He needed to step away for a second to regroup. He doesn't want to unintentionally hurt you by saying or doing things that he doesn't mean. He's tired, and he's acting like a fucking baby because he just wanted you at so many points today— yet, the universe just didn't let him have you. That wasn't your fault.

None of this was your fault.

He needed to do better. Just because he was exhausted, didn't mean he had to act this way towards you.

"Yo." Yeosang walks through the door, dropping his duffle bag to the floor as he steps out of his shoes. "You good?" He furrows his brows at the sight of Yunho just resting his head back with his eyes shut close.

"Mhm."

"Where's Y/N?"

"In the room." Odd, Yeosang thinks. It's not like you two to be separated like this. It's pretty obvious Yunho is bothered by something and that you've probably gotten into a small fight over it. Yeosang isn't one to meddle much, especially when it's not his business to. But, he is concerned seeing his roommate like this. It's probably one of the rare times he ever sees Yunho upset.

"You sure everything's okay? I'm not really used to seeing you sitting out in the living room in silence like this." Yunho lets out a tiny chuckle that's barely audible, but he finally turns to Yeosang and purses his lips.

"I guess. Just exhausted lately."

"I bet. You've been working your ass off." Yeosang looks into the fridge before stepping away with a cold water bottle and heading towards Yunho. "Y/N put some food in there for you, by the way."

"Did she?"

"Yeah. It has a little sticky note on top." Of course you did, why wouldn’t you? You always thought about Yunho no matter what.

"Fuck."

"What?"'

"I've been such a dick to her tonight."

"What'd you do?"

"It's so stupid." Yunho begins to explain how his day has just been all over the place— from work, to staying late and not being able to see you before practice, no updates until 3+ hours after practice, looking forward to a food run that didn't end up happening because of Hyunjin. All Yeosang can do is laugh a bit and shake his head.

"Dude, we all have bad days. It's inevitable. You're still adjusting so don't be so hard on yourself. It's hard going from a routine you were so used to, especially with Y/N. Then, having to switch it up and play tetris with your time. It's not easy. But also, I'm sure Y/N has been feeling the same way. She's just doing what she can to support you first and foremost. She'd never hurt you intentionally, and I know she'd always choose you in the end." Yunho's head drops as he leans onto his knees and sighs again.

"Fuck, you're right. I don't know why today was so difficult. I guess it all piled on for me and I didn't know how to sort through it."

"All good. Shit happens." Yeosang shrugs. "Anyway. I'm gonna head to bed. You should probably do the same. I know she's probably waiting for you."

"Thanks." Yeo gives him a little dap before he's off to get comfy and end his day. Yunho stays on the couch for a few more minutes before he brushes his teeth and washes up for bed. He stands in the bathroom for a few more seconds before gaining the courage to finally talk to you about everything that's been going on today. When he walks in, you're still bundled under the sheets, but your phone is against the wall and a video is playing. He can hear you sniffling through the video though, and he knows you've been crying.

God dammit, Yunho.

"Baby?" You hear Yunho softly call your name as he slips into bed and wraps his arms around you.

"Mhm?" You respond, still facing away from him.

"Can we talk?" You sigh and exit the video, locking your phone before turning towards Yunho and setting your phone onto the table.

"Don't force yourself if you aren't ready to."

"I am, and I'm sorry." He looks at you with those puppy dog eyes and it instantly feels like you have your loving, incredibly sweet and attentive boyfriend back.

"What happened?"

"I don't really know. To be honest, I don't have that great of an explanation. I was just tired and I was really looking forward to seeing you before practice. I couldn't see you then because of work, so I was even more excited to see you after practice and to go on our run together. But, you came later and the whole thing with Hyunjin—" He pauses and shakes his head. "It was so stupid and childish of me. I didn't need to act that way, and I'm so sorry I was such a dick to you over that." You cup his cheek and caress the surface with your thumb.

"You should've just told me, babe."

"It's so dumb, though?" He furrows his brows, mainly at himself.

"Nothing is dumb. Whatever hurts you, hurts me. We're in this together, remember? We're on the same team. I just need you to communicate and be honest, like you always tell me. Okay? I'll do anything to fix it and make it better. I'm your safe space like you are mine."

"I know." He leans into your touch before placing a soft kiss to your palm. "I'll do better."

"We have our bad days and that's okay. It won't make me love you any less. Tell me if you need space or if you need anything from me. I want you to be happy and comfortable."

"I know."

"Okay. And I'm sorry about the food run. I promise I'll keep my end of it next time."

"Wasn't your fault, baby. Nothing could have prevented that." You give him a tiny, toothless smile before kissing the tip of his nose.

"Are we okay?" He nods.

"I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.” He repeats before leaning in to peck you on the lips. He holds the kiss before parting and looking you in the eye, brushing the hair away from your face. He dips in for another kiss— this time, it's deeper. More passionate. His hand comes down to the small of your back as he presses against you, slipping his tongue in to fight for dominance against yours. The kiss is so full of love and neediness, but there's no push or pressure to make anything out of it.

So, Yunho continues to kiss you. Pushing up against you ever so slightly while parting from your lips to leave a trail across your jaw.

Your chin.

Your neck.

Back up to your lips.

He loves the way you softly sigh in content, listening to him repeatedly whisper 'I love you' against your lips. Into your neck. Across your jaw. He loves the way you gently bite onto his bottom lip as a way of asking for more. He loves the way your fingers tug on the ends of his hair, the way you press your lips against his cheek, forehead, nose. The way you caress his cheeks and never let him go.

It's amongst the many on his list of favorite things.

He continues to coo you and praise you in between kisses throughout the night, smiling while hearing your giggles and smothering you with more kisses until you find yourself getting sleepy. He holds you close and sings a soft lullaby, playing with your hair as you drift off to sleep with the cutest smile on your face. He can’t help but admire you, fighting the exhaustion that’s been hitting him all week for a little longer. He fights it until he can’t anymore but fuck it, it’s all worth it.

Because sitting at the very top of his favorites list is you.

⇢ permanent taglist: @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

#yunho fanfic #yunho series #jeong yunho series #jeong yunho fanfic #ateez series #ateez x reader #ateez #yunho #jeong yunho #yunho x reader #jeong yunho x reader #ateez imagines #kpop imagines #yunho fluff #jeong yunho fluff #hwaslayer: project make you love me

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brujamala-aka-gigi · 1 day

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Mid Week Energy Check

a pac reading made to provide insight into whats going on energetically around you or with you because sometimes it's not only about what you are responsible for, but also about the things that you cannot control yet influence your life.

pile 1. pile 2. pile 3.

images are from pinterest and dividers from @saradika-graphics

•☽────✧˖°˖Number 1 ˖°˖✧────☾•

Okay I see some drama, a lot of self indulgence and plenty of questionable economic decisions as a consequence. It seems like new beginnings are becoming more and more exciting, everything is new and shiny, there's no complaints so far, but I see some signs of a comedown from this high. Positivity might feel almost too forced and toxic, almost as if it's only there to hide and deceit you from more serious matters. There's nothing wrong with some excess on time to time I think, but don't get hooked on these feelings of intense and rapid happiness as in the long run, it won't serve your real purpose. Idealism at this moment seems to be more important than doing the actual work to pursue these ideals. Remain careful, as plenty of people who surround you are being lead to indulge in reckless behavior, not saying you shouldn't, just saying you should do it while being conscious of it. There will be a lot of talking, a lot of promises and many ideations of new ways to do the same, but don't get caught on that if you already see yourself deviating from your path. Expect some confrontational situations too, specially if you decide to call out anyone. This is a moment where your ability to find balance will be tested.

•☽────✧˖°˖Number 2 ˖°˖✧────☾•

You might feel like you have been left alone and betrayed, maybe by others or maybe by yourself. But more important than that, is the fact that your own personal power won't be affected for the long run. Don't allow the effects of someone's lack of morality and self esteem stain your own values and the way you perceive others. No need to get paranoid and look for who is going to backstab you either, they will show themselves pretty quickly by leaving your side if you tap in with a calmer approach to any insecurity you have. Don't focus on concealing your perceived weaknesses, focus on nurturing your strengths and showcasing them gracefully only when you know they are celebrated genuinely. Conflict could be inescapable some times, don't take it as something that should be solved by the conventionally aggressive ways, but more so as an opportunity to take assertive and strategic approaches when possible. If you are forced to be in situations where it seems impossible to keep it together and remain calm, don't be afraid to walk away and handle it whenever your mind is clear, as it's likely people might be waiting for you to loose your cool or testing your patience.

•☽────✧˖°˖Number 3 ˖°˖✧────☾•

As depressing as things might seem right now, the chance to move forward into safety will be granted as long as you are open to the idea of asking for the help of others, and letting them help you. Loneliness sometimes could be more of a feeling than a fact, you might not be able to see who is there to actually help you and guide you towards building stronger foundations to be at peace with yourself. It is also quite normal and understandable to feel isolated during periods of change. There's plenty for you to do in order to find fulfilment, but you will have to get in touch with a more creative side of you in order to find people who will accompany new journeys of emotional and spiritual development. You are not the type of person who has an easy time asking for others to be compassionate, but this moment might be nice to begin having compassion for yourself, understanding that it's impossible to keep a streak of overachievement forever, and you are not disappointing anyone by being tired or ill. Let those who celebrate your success, take care of you when that same success has made you tired.

•☽────✧˖°˖ THE END ˖°˖✧────☾•

Hiii, its me, Gigi (the tarot reader).

I hope this PAC reading was useful. I'm still figuring out how to make the Post itself pretty but so far this looks kinda okay i guess.

I'm thinking about making a themed ask game sometime on this blog, most likely during the weekend because i do feel like reading tarots for other people again eventually. Last time i read tarots online it was on reddit but i was kinda doing that as a part time job.

ANYWAYS: I hope everyone is doing amazing this week or at least not doing too bad and working on getting better. I'm so thankful for all the notes on my other PAC readings <3 i genuinely was expecting to just end up rambling about tarot into the void of tumblr i guess, but this was a nice surprise <3

Much love, Gigi <3

(btw if you feel like following me I'm trying to post tarot related blogs and PACS as often as possible, for those who asked and I couldn't reply yet: I still don't know if I'm putting up a tarot services menu thing, but I'm sure I'll end up doing a tarot ask thing this weekend)

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i-love-you-just-the-same · 2 days

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alright sleep token and 141 type collab because brain rot (tldr: 141 are a masked man rock band)

soap always wanted to be in a band. gaz thought it was something cool to try. price played drums in highschool. and ghost of course introduced the aire of mystic that made them really take off.

def have a good fanbase of punks and their girlfriends. they get a lot of interest because of the unique sound and also. hot guys in masks brain go brrrrrrrrr...

totally see gaz and soap interacting with the crowd and the pretty girls that catch their eyes. totally singing something like "show me those pretty white jaws" and caressing someones throat in the crowd (actual sleep token lyric... this was a dream to think about). def have people trying to figure out their identities so they can try to call them up.

gaz for sure finds a girl at a little bar showing in the beginning that he tracks down in daylight to ask her on a little date. ends up being surprised by her with tickets to his own bands concert. needs to show him the appeal of her favorite member. ends up having soap and ghost beat the shit out of him after the concert to have a good excuse for flaking. def puts tidbits in one of the songs about her that she totally freaks about because "shes exactly his type!" yeah baby you are.

ghost probably writes a lot of the lyrics for their songs. def is thinking of some birdie that he thinks is "the one that got away" when he writes shit like "i'm still full of the love you want / i reach for you on faith alone." happens to see her at one of their concerts and obviously she doesnt know its him, mask in all, but he still gets her vip tickets or ones in the nosebleeds. takes more of a part in crowd pleasing, confusing the fuck out of soap and gaz.

price is more of the stressed punk dad. keeping gaz and soap contained while helping ghost with lyrics and keeping up with everything else with the band is a lot but he loves his boys. def got a few piercings when he was younger that he will not share with the class no matter how much soap begs (eyebrow and three cartilage.... but also be creative). def still has a septum piercing he pretends is a fake (only ghost knows).

price convinces ghost to give it a go with this bird he writes about. just let him come with ghost to scope her out again. scare off any new boyfriend looming around the corner. needs to be sure his boy is well taken care of.

sleep token songs mentioned: jaws and the love you want

def writing about this again sleep token type 141.... shewwww. def didnt get their vibe completely right but no one can do sleep token like sleep token yk (masked british men have me in a 'chokehold' :) )

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cyb3rtarot · 2 days

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Pick a Pile: Your Manifesting Analysis | Tarot Edition

Disclaimer: readings are not replacements for professional advice. Take what confirms and not what confuses. I’m reading a 9-card tarot spread about your manifesting style, and an extra general message. Both conscious & subconscious manifestation, both things physically worked for and spiritually manifested. You create your own fate. This is called “tarot edition” as I would like to make a Lenormand edition eventually :]

Links to help Palestinian families, even $1 helps!!! Family #5 is very close to the goal!! 1 2 3 4 5

pile 1 𓇼 pile 2 𓇼 pile 3 pile 4 𓇼 pile 5 𓇼 pile 6

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 1

[Wheel of Fortune rx, the Moon rx, four of wands, two of wands, the Emperor rx (clarified by Jera), Justice, the Lovers, the Master, We Are the World rx]

Helloo pile 1! I loved you guys’ energy, it was so unique! There’s a lot of scenarios that don’t necessarily overlap; don’t force anything to fit. This pile has a complicated relationship with conscious manifestation, especially seen in the first card being the Wheel of Fortune rx. But, you have a very strong manifesting power if you wanted to tap into it. You’re aware of manifesting techniques and could be very observant when it comes to patterns between your mind and real life. But, there may be something off-putting about using this personally. A lot of you feel like you’re messing with the natural order if you consciously manifest. You could feel hesitant to change your environment or affect others’ lives. Some of you feel it’s pointless to manifest things for yourself, you’re not sure if you want to try, or you can’t choose something to go for. This could be because you’re very upset with the state of the world, or you’re more focused on your loved ones, so you’re like “we don’t have time for this!” with personal desire. There’s a constant focus on others. You may make collective justice and balance your responsibility. Or, feel like it’s a job/mission to take care of loved ones. I don’t get people-pleaser vibes; your brains inherently function this way. Many of you take the state of the collective personally, like a personal failing. You could have blamed yourself for things that happened in your environment, like family financial issues or relationship issues even when there were other factors. There’s just a gigantic pool of latent potential and a purposeful way you currently don’t use it to the fullest. This doesn’t mean you don’t manifest, but that your energy is on the passive side currently. You may prefer observing what naturally happens, or you’re always waiting for the “right time.”

You manifest naturally for others, particularly loved ones. You automatically think of the collective before yourself. Not necessarily because you want to be a helper or be liked, your mind just functions in a wide perspective. Someone could mention something specific they want, and then within the week they (or both of you) suddenly have the opportunity to do that. Most of you are aware of this pattern and it mostly happens without trying, but you’re not opposed either.

This pile is very open & accepting. You’re understanding of walking one's own path and of light & shadow coexisting. You accept people as they are and not just their potential, and this may be part of why you’re not as drawn to conscious manifestation. You have gigantic compassion for humanity, and it empowers manifesting for others. You show what's possible, not just materially but also as a great learning environment. I don’t think you necessarily like people themselves so you could be like :| but you give others space to be as they are even when you do have higher hopes. That’s compassion—an expression of love, even if it doesn’t feel like what you’d consider love. You may have associated with people from many different areas of life, including those looked down upon (or you yourself have come up from rougher places). People who don’t understand you may view you as silly or naive, but most of you know what you’re doing. It’s ironic, your compassion fuels your abilities but also fuels a lack of interest in using them.

Your easy-going tendencies act like a magnet. People may easily get comfortable after knowing you for a short time (I see a random person gravitating towards you in a quiet lobby and suddenly chatting you up). Or, you’re very adept at reading others, so people don’t necessarily need to tell you a lot for you to know. But, you guys need to be careful of who’s allowed in your energy. Hold on before you lose interest because ik most of you don’t gaf LOL. But people get very deeply interlinked with your energy to the point where your realities can mirror. The example I got is a friend could lose a job but get another one very quickly, and then the exact chain of events happens to you. You should care about yourselves too. I’m not picking up on esteem issues, so you may not apply advice about protecting yourself because you chose this path and you’re not doing it based on something you lack in yourself. You know what people are like and choose others anyway. But it’s still important, you need the same self care to produce your best lifetime just like others. I heard “emotional & spiritual hygiene;” be aware of how people in your energy influence your life and those tied to you (and effects can linger). Grounding & cleansing practices after interacting with others a lot will be beneficial (it can be spiritual, or it can be practical like showers and time by yourself). Be mindful of the consequences of who you associate with. If you hang out with someone who does unsafe activities, you potentially allow danger to carry over. Sometimes it doesn’t help the collective to be completely accessible, it can make it harder for others to learn (especially on a soul level, if you believe in reincarnation), and you sacrifice your learning too. What is imbalanced eventually returns to balance.

You may notice something very specific passes through your thoughts or dreams and then you see a close manifestation of it in real life shortly after. I read this as intuition, but this pile is not as into spirituality as others so you may take this as pattern recognition. Maybe this is why some of you may blame yourself for bad things happening? Being able to pick up on patterns does not make you a harbinger of doom. Life is a group project, many things have to transpire for one event to potentially occur, don’t make everything your personal burden. Take care of your mental health even when you feel ok.

Message [All Must Have Prizes rx, Bluff (Jupiter in Gemini, 3rd house), Woman, Scythe]:

You may be moving out this energy already, but there’s emphasis on releasing people-pleasing tendencies, even if you’re not doing anything with that intent. There may be an impending situation where it’s impossible to please everyone. You may only have enough resources/ time to give one person/group/yourself, or you might have to say something that doesn’t make everyone happy. This pile is used to diplomacy or bluffing through since you’re intuitive & good at reading others. But, this situation may show that diplomacy is not always the highest outcome, or the extent of what you don’t know can surprise you. A possible example is you could be surprised by the extent someone goes to get something, or someone could have an unexpected reaction to you. It’s not that you can’t work through this, but your immediate instincts or usual perspective may be shaken. You might need a logical perspective instead of trying to consider everyone’s emotions. This situation may seem sudden or feel like you’re on a timer, so be aware of default approaches and your blind spots.

For conscious manifesting, pick something! For you. It doesn’t have to be big or related to someone else. Something doesn’t have to be important, amazing, or a passion to manifest it. Manifesting little things that cross your mind is great practice. If you keep looking for something “important enough,” you’ll stay in a loop forever. You’re not taking away from someone else by getting a treat. Focusing on your own thoughts and desires will help you find what’s left to be discovered in you. Treat it as an experiment, game, or side quest if that makes you more likely to do it.

Most of you had a vacuum of support you had to fill. Maybe most around you are not quite where you are in your journey. They may be more unstable, not as responsible in decision-making, less independent, or in more shaky times. Not to say you don’t have your own problems, but when you look at the lessons you go through by yourself these days compared to those around you, others seem to have more “imminent” needs, a crisis, or are asking for more support (this can just be how it appears). It’s like you’ve reached this place in your journey where there’s not many others who you can reflect off of constructively, have new experiences with, or an even exchange. If you read collective readings, or you hear advice, you may already understand it on an intrinsic level, so you don’t take it in very much. You’re used to everything and just looking towards others and helping. This is what has created a blind spot. If a situation like I described above happens, it may throw you for a loop because you’re not used to your wisdom or observation skills not working as usual. You’re not used to hearing new things that feel applicable to your life. And you’ve been looking back towards the collective so long to lend a helping hand that your own path forward is also in your blind spot. But, it’s still there. You have your own page in the collective story. Maybe this can be something to manifest, new experiences or people that advance your journey and show what’s left to learn?

Extra Details: swimming or hanging out in water (I saw really clear ocean water but could be a pool/etc), blocked/ “stuffy” heart energy, Virgo rising/Libra 2nd house (twin), Libra rising/Sun/Moon/Mercury/Jupiter/ stellium, Mercury as a dominant planet, valley or west coast accent [US], living vicariously, apathetic or appears so, blaming yourself for negative events, Masochism by Ky Voss. I’m picking up some of you hang with a rougher crowd but if you feel unsafe around one person in particular pay attention to that! Sisyphus, songwriting (don’t give up hobbies just to focus on others!), not knowing where you stand with a higher power or the universe, feeling like you have a higher mission/calling for the collective, food service (servers/hostess), projector or reflector human design type, craving hamburgers, drawing/doodling (esp fanart?) or some kind of crafts (this may be something to try rather than something you already do), stationary, Quizilla, left-handed or ambidextrous, feeling like any change is too much/too fast, going along with what the other person in a relationship wants even if it's not preferred (especially pacing?), could be a lot more dominant or self-assured than you appear, INxJ or ISxJ personality type, if you already felt drawn to pile 2 it may resonate

Specific message: I keep getting some of you drawing connections between yourself (especially your body) and what happens around you but not in a positive way—maybe you use this as reason to deny yourself. You might have masochistic habits & thoughts. You need to apply a continuous, conscious effort to curate your life and change those thought patterns. Take care of yourself and don’t try to carry the whole collective. It’s not a disservice to tend to yourself and let others work through their lessons and wants, everyone needs their own learning experiences. Go to doctors if you have health concerns; don’t draw random conclusions!

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 2

[8 of Hearts rx, Temperance rx, Four of Swords, Going with the Flow, Success (clarified by Uruz), New Vision, Wheel of Fortune, the Emperor rx, the Moon]

Hi pile two! You excel at emotional transmutation, taking upsetting or imbalanced circumstances and transforming them. This returns you to a more stable state and fuels manifestation. Though all imbalanced things must eventually return to another state, you speed up this process through will & determination. I don’t get that you’re very spiteful but the energy is similar—the brute force of doing something just because you can. You take what would be major roadblocks or letdowns and use them as a drive forward. You might appear naive, flighty, or like you have unrealistic dreams, but then shock people when you do what you said you would or get where you said you’d be. This is not to say you don’t experience disappointment or low moods, but they energetically move you. You may be motivated by your loved ones’ wishes or moods too. There’s a “fake it til’ you make it” vibe; in day to day as well as manifesting. However, Temperance rx indicates an imbalanced approach. I see you giving 95% of whatever effort or thought you need to put in, riding on the motivation of it being a new idea or wanting to see if you can do it. Afterwards, you may quickly lose interest or move to something else, letting it come to fruition with the initial effort. You may get re-interested and return little by little over a long period, but I feel you put in big bursts of energy rather than a steady amount over a long time. This can cause random timing, some things happening very quickly and others taking years and years—you may forget you were supposed to be working towards something until years later. Others see the surface level of this, getting randomly interested and dropping things, and don’t see how loose ends get tied up over time. This is why you may have that surprising effect. I also pick up lighthearted energy when approaching challenges, which helps you to tap into emotional alchemy. That doesn’t have to be being sad and writing a song about it or something. It’s more about how energy produced by emotional movement keeps you going—literally you have “going with the flow.” Instead of sitting in one thing too long and anchoring yourself to that, you have a deeper sense of self, not needing to attach to one state or idea. However, you may be used to things finding a way to work out, so things that ask for a more continuous effort may get to you. Remember to return to your fluid nature if you find yourself obsessing; you just need to shift your mindset and approach. Especially if you only tried spiritual manifestation methods, as you may default to those and feel like you can’t go do something for some reason? Ask yourself what’s the unfulfilled need that’s making you hound over one thing; how can you provide for that need? If you have physical restrictions then you need creative methods when you feel trapped, such as online resources, or I see you mailing something.

Success as your center card? More likely than you think! Many figures in your cards are look upwards. There’s also angels and a monk. A major factor in your approach & manifestations may be belief placed in a higher power (or yourself/life, if you don't believe in one). I’m not getting very traditionally religious but a personal inner knowing. You may pray a little bit, though I feel like this pile generally likes to do it themselves. These cards reiterate the message about things returning to equilibrium. This is also a present message. If you’ve been experiencing a lot of little challenges—but you’ve continued to work with your shadow & perspective, you may soon embody a celebratory energy. However, returning to 0 applies to high points also. Make the most of times you like because these too eventually shift. Knowing this makes the dance smoother. You may feel like you’re going along with this energy rather than it coming from you. The metaphor I think of is a parade (that’s what’s on this success card) or being at someone’s party. Like the vibes around you are temporary but you enjoy the ride. For some there may be a specific person or group who will be riding out this energy with you (or you with them). In terms of overall manifestation, your cards suggest success with whatever approaches you use to bring your interests to reality. It may not be perfect but it’s suited to you, because you acknowledge your changing mind, emotions, and self. It’s hard to completely trap you in an energy because you don’t hold yourself to who you were 2 minutes ago. You may switch between physically working on goals and letting your faith do some things. You’re like a cheetah using its tail to stay on target during a chase—even if you have to change your approach or yourself you do it almost without thinking. Some of you recognize this but struggle with manifestation; there may be a disconnect with the constant shifts you go through, whether that’s in identifying your moods, or a need to develop grounding habits to cope with changes.

I know this is a controversial phrase, but this pile takes “delulu is the solulu” as a life approach. Law of assumption could be relevant, or other manifesting methods where you feel the wish fulfilled. You keep it pushing regardless of what’s physically in front of you. You find little point in focusing on what is/was for too long and would rather find joy in your wildest dreams. For example, even if you didn’t get into the school or job you wanted at first you may continue to imagine what it would be like and just reapply. You could romanticize your life a lot, so you find some way to feel like you’re already living your best life. You may do this as a manifesting method, but it seems like who you are as a person.

A few of your cards were also in pile one’s reading (different decks). You don’t seem as averse to manifesting for yourselves, but if you were already drawn to that pile, some of it may be significant. It could also be relevant to someone you know or a different part of yourself (you have dual characteristics so maybe you embody this pile half the time and that pile the other half).

You have detached energy without purposefully detaching. You may hold the same goals for a long time even when it seems impossible, but you accept this and let time do its thing. You may really enjoy the mystery of “craving” something, the excitement and anticipation. Specific people here may have felt content with one-sided love or something similar without trying to go after the person or thing you loved? Seeing them or loving it was enough. You can appreciate the depth of desire as much as the satisfaction of getting the desire, very cool! This appreciation helps keep your wheel of fortune turning, like gratitude.

With the Uruz rune, something about you embodies manifestation itself? It’s like you understand the willpower and determination associated with manifesting, even against odds. You exercise this energy through acknowledging the process of manifesting— reality as it plays out, and not just the end story. Living is a success for you (?). Maybe something about your life is against the odds, maybe some of you are survivors? You have a very dynamic & active energy. You may struggle to tap into this all the time with chronic mental/physical health struggles, but you have a huge well of determination running under you even when not accessed.

Message [Curioser and Curioser, Riches (Saturn in Capricorn, 10th house), heart, bouquet]:

I got a lot of different potentialities so don’t force anything. The broadest explanation of what may be manifesting is your curious nature and willingness to live outside the box will have a good payoff. You kept questioning, researching, or engaging with something to learn more and now you’re making a discovery. This could also refer to choosing to follow along with something even though it’s not traditionally accepted. This may have been a long process or a struggle where you didn’t have a lot of support from those close. But, following your heart and continuing your pursuit of knowledge or skill—especially something unconventional or “never before done”—has culminated in something satisfactory. You may also receive something of physical value, especially through a relationship (not necessarily romantic, this could also be something like recognition at work or in a hobby, platonic gifts, even something from an institution like the local government?). An event that happened or will be happening at night is significant to this situation (or maybe you accomplish a lot at night).

Some of you have a connection to gaming. You could stream, work in game development, or may be playing a game that’s important to you. You may receive some kind of breakthrough in this area, have an idea for your game that really helps development, or if you’re playing something then you may have a breakthrough in the game lol. Especially if it’s a horror game.

Some of you are songwriters or another kind of writer. Many of you didn’t have family support on this but you may soon have an idea with a song or plot point. Or experience positive recognition for your work.

Tbh what came out here is freaky/18+ and I don’t wanna go there 😅 I will say if you’re in a relationship, you may soon learn more about your partner through intimacy; you may both open up to each other in a new way. Especially if this relationship is unconventional or very unique somehow, or if you were with this person out of curiosity? Maybe they were hesitant to talk about something important and you kept wanting to know more. You may enjoy a new activity with your partner you both like, maybe playing horror games or doing something with an adrenaline rush. If you’re not in a relationship, you may be receiving something heartfelt, important, or passionate. Or otherwise having a similar moment.

[CW traumatic event, family trauma] If something awful was done to you (especially by family) and you have been researching something regarding this, then some of you may find something that helps you better understand this event. Could be something that happened at night.

Extra Details: the scene where Patrick’s like “BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO!,” “THIS IS SPARTA!,” misunderstood as spiteful, upbeat or jokester, the tortoise and the hare (could embody both), talks or types in long sentences, S Asia, Non-traditional faith practice, making spirituality/religion contemporary, spiritual tattoos & art (especially Buddhist), stick-n-poke, blue & red tattoos, 2000s pop/internet culture, dualistic, yin & yang, Taoism, Libra (especially ascendant), retrograde natal planet in Libra/ Taurus/ Sagittarius (esp Mercury, Venus), trees, INxJ or ISxJ personality type, manifesting generator or reflector human design type, “if you don’t succeed try and try again,” “mind over matter,” relying on others physically, maybe you talk to your boss more than average or work closely with a supervisor, disabled, treated as naive. Office job with a lot of meetings or projects, development/tech/promotional work (your team may bring creativity to what the company does). May work with executives. Many of you seem indifferent or have a disconnect with the work environment. “Malcontent." Sonic, Gameboy, Undertale, 33, Cinderella especially the Grimm version, investigation about something that happened to you, work bonus, forbidden fruit—maybe a taboo or heavy relationship, some of you are restricted by family and your relationship rebels against that, or it’s helping heal inner child trauma. Some of you, for medical or cultural reasons your family has access to everything you do—even like a conservatorship. Be mindful of watchful eyes if so! Don’t get so excited you do something physically risky (having someone over when it’s likely to be caught, not using protection, etc) or let secrets slip. A relationship to the Earth, whether this is your mindset or being vegan/vegetarian, fruit gardeners? Could describe a partner. Night, esp late night is very significant. Lover with many earth placements, air mail, using physical activity to shift mood

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 3

[Silence, Politics, Mind, Knight of swords rx, the Chariot rx, Page of Pentacles, King of Wands, 4 of cups, 5 of wands rx]

Hello pile three! Tapping into your inner self, your inner “silence” is very important for your manifesting, but this may have been a struggle. When I imagine your inner self I see a calm void. Like the vast emptiness of the universe. But, on the outside, there’s a persona you’ve defaulted to. This developed so you could maneuver your environment or handle trauma, but now it’s entangled in your sense of self. It makes me think of a computer program that doesn’t exist anymore. Like if you click on a shortcut to a program that was deleted or moved. There’s this disembodied or dissociative energy when it comes to external behavior, like you’re acting on muscle memory. You could suddenly realize you’ve been talking to someone for the past 12 minutes but have no idea what was being said, but almost every social interaction may feel like this. There may be some kind of mental block that stops you from looking deeper within, such as chaotic memories or thoughts. You may have convinced yourself you must be a certain way even though it doesn’t feel right. This may be a blockage with vulnerability. It’s like there’s your inner self, and this persona is one manifestation of your inner self, and the “inner silence” is another, but the former creates blockages to accessing the latter sometimes. You might feel like you need to protect the inner version of yourself or your pride with your persona, or like if you embody your inner self that it’ll be a disservice somehow.

First, this is not an uncommon experience; it’s just the realization that you’ve changed. The pattern continues because it’s an intricate web of learned behavior; it takes time to unthread. A serious reflection of whether your thoughts and actions align with you—and how you’ll respond if they don’t—may be necessary. I’m hearing even if you need to go one by one through a list of your thoughts to review them. Journaling may be helpful but meditation especially will be. Of course, seek medical advice if dissociation affects your functioning. Regardless, finding some way to tap into this inner void you’ve got inside is one key to your manifesting power. Detaching from the bells and whistles of your external “setup” and connecting more personally to oneness. It’s like you need or had to decondition things you’ve been taught or “trained” to do, especially by family. What does it mean to be connected to everything for you? There’s magic in the specific relationship you form with the universe. There’s a big emphasis on silence and stillness, as one might feel in a meditative state but also to emphasize that only by detaching from facades can you “hear” or feel you. Even if you’re not spiritual and do not do manifesting techniques, this process might ground you and help you find physical opportunities; you’ll more clearly see what’s available for you. Literally for some, someone may have offered you an opportunity but you rejected it because of external influence.

There’s energy that reminds me of ego death. That may be significant even if you’ve never experienced it. Your inner world embodies that vast feeling. Some of you feel strangely familiar with the concept, maybe you remember a feeling of oneness or no ego but don’t remember when or why? The detachment process I mentioned will help quiet your mind. I am not suggesting anyone try to experience ego death, btw.

Let go of managing others’ expectations. There’s this wealth of knowledge or “universal strength” you have just inside the door, but you can’t get fully inside because everyone is hovering on your porch and you’re too polite to tell them to leave lol. Activities that reconnect you with quiet solitude are important. You don’t have to become a loner, but whatever relationships you have require a lot of mental energy. There’s a recurring theme of juggling others’ emotions, desires, or strategizing to make it to the other side of a conversation. That is so draining. Sometimes this is the place you find yourself in and sometimes we have to do this to protect our wellbeing. However, there’s a lot of pouring into this external drain but not enough rejuvenation to return to yourself afterwards. I think your natural manifesting tendencies are simple and naturally reveal themselves as long as you have quiet space and time to decompress. That means lessening the space you give to these draining energies and creating more space for yourself. Especially if you feel like you’re going through a transformation, you may need more rest. I’m not sure if you feel others are blocking your path? This reconnection with yourself may help you feel better about that or be able to analyze the situation. I don’t think everyone in your world is a villain; I really didn’t pick up on malicious energy—though maybe what makes them draining is a lack of self awareness or a certain selfishness. But I do see there are external things that are good for you, maybe a genuine friend or someone similar, this could also be activities you truly like and not ones you do because others do them. You may need to really reflect on what these are as the person in this 4 of cups has their back turned to who’s trying to shield them. This could still represent your need to reconnect more to the true you and understand that inner you can protect itself without acts. Overall, there’s a need for things that bring out your underlying confidence. Focus on what brings you out of your head. Though meditation is a mental activity, again it’s very beneficial for this pile (or similar things where you let thoughts pass). You may be surprised by what all can manifest or be perceived in a new light without going out and changing everything around. You may feel like manifesting a better life is physically impossible or very challenging, but letting yourself just be while you explore this transformation can bring opportunities, or let you see ones already here. (Again, not sure but there’s an opportunity close or already presented to many of you). This may also discuss your relationship with yourself, maybe you feel like you have to fight a battle with yourself or have something to prove to yourself? Detach from “have to’s” and “what if’s.”

If you’ve tried thought-based manifestation techniques, you may prefer other methods while your thoughts clear. Maybe during or after meditation you can “listen” to what desires you have and separate these from old or external ones. Or, exert physical effort into what you want. Though, I do feel this period is more about relearning yourself rather than manifesting everything.

Message [A Moment’s Regret, Ostentation (Saturn in Taurus, 2nd house), Coffin, Man]:

This message is about the personality hurdles mentioned above, but another side. What I’m getting is most of you could compulsively act out old behaviors because there’s something you dislike about your present self. In your transformation, maybe you did something hurtful or regretful, and that has turned you off of exploring who your new self may be. Maybe there’s also an aspect of your lifestyle you want to bring forward but you’re unsure how to do it, or you don’t want to lose some of yourself. Either way, there’s some way you’re indulging in these behaviors, people, or places that no longer serve you, but it’s coming from a blurry perspective. While reading your cards I heard the word “integrate” a lot. If you did something you regret, you need to integrate those emotions into your conscious mind so you can purposefully choose how to interact with that part of yourself. Shying away from something internal will not make it go away. It’ll fester in your mind or subconsciously direct you. If you’re afraid you might do something you regret if you live as you are, you may need to integrate other lessons related to shame and lack of trust in oneself. Especially because whatever this is seems tied to your sense of security and self, whether that’s material resources or a more abstract fear regarding security. We all do things we regret. Being able to face and accept these parts of ourselves is crucial. This is a call for shadow work and reflection. It’s time to end the control these patterns have on you. Also no offense but as I read this I kept wanting to laugh for some reason. Whatever you’ve done that you'd rather not think about may feel very big because it’s steeped in emotion. But, from an outsider’s perspective, most of you have actually not done something so terrible that you need to hide away. I think in the future, you’ll look at it and be like no way this is what I was so caught up on. It’s like you’re despairing, slamming your fist on the floor and your guides/higher self are looking at you like “lol." I know it’s hard, but the laughter stood out to me, so maybe humor can help you integrate or when you finally do you’ll have a much different perspective on life. Either way, integration is important, and it can help you access your manifesting potential. Also, integrate hidden versions of yourself with your apparent personas.

Extra Details [alcohol/substance use, DUI mention]: peanut butter jelly, family w problematic beliefs, strict or conservative family, [name] Christina, tradition, really patriotic family/friends, regretting something you did to show off/out of spite/ because you could (for some, a friend got arrested because of a thing your group did?), family trauma or pressure, calculators, one close friend who understands you, lingering regret or shame, avoiding change to avoid the past, politics, period of regretful financial decisions, friendships built on falsities/ old versions of yourself, not trusting yourself with resources, fiery or “dynamic” personality in the past (to compensate?). Attack on Titan, pine trees, bullying, strained mother relationship, personality duality or two sides of you that seem irreconcilable, your friends may have helped you through times you felt less nurtured but now maybe your lifestyles are different, “wildcard” friends (never know what they’ll say or do), Jekyll and Hyde, partying, unsure when you should speak up, using friends’ transportation, blackouts, childhood friends (like infancy), zombies/zombie apocalypse (something about zombies at night idk what this is, I see Halloween costumes/makeup, or goofing around at night in creepy places. Or substances make you or someone else feel like a zombie), drunk walks, regretting old habits or things you did not sober (don’t DUI but if you did in the past, integrate it and move forward), morning-after debriefs, rich friends. Some of you had speech issues or didn’t talk a lot as a child—if so, inner child work is especially important; this part of yourself needs acknowledgment

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 4

[the Moon rx, King of Wands, princess of hearts rx, 6 of swords, 3 of cups, 8 of pentacles, Harmony, Celebration, Exhaustion]

Hi pile 4! You’ve come out of a time where you were more in the dark, whether in direction or in regards to what you really wanted. This period was driven by emotion which was causing the confusion. You may not indulge your emotions as much now to retain a higher perspective. You’re not moving based on wanting something emotionally—it has to have another aspect to “justify” your attention. This is more from the cards than your energy so maybe this is a new way of living, maybe you don’t think about it too much, or maybe it’s shifting energy. This pile’s message seems relevant to this time of your life rather than in general. You’re focused on embodying this King of Wands energy—confidence & success, and your manifestation is focused on the self. If it’s not directly contributing to you, your growth, or a sense of accomplishment, you’re not really interested right now. It’s like focusing on leveling up rather than whims. That doesn’t mean you don’t want those things, but your energy is going elsewhere. This might also be because you're unsure what your emotional goals are, so you’re more focused on peace & smaller joys rather than large wants. You may not be focused on manifestation as a concept at all. I get the sense you’re going with the flow and adapting to life as it comes rather than doing a lot of specific manifestation practices. Maybe you’re not as focused on that as you used to be. If you’re still struggling in emotional confusion, focus on detachment and the self (more King of Wands energy) to connect with your manifesting abilities, and a joy of living.

You’re very connected to your subconscious right now, although you may not be consciously connected to some deeper emotions in your psyche (it’s like you're connected to yourself except this emotional ocean that’s on the backburner). This can show up as feeling guided towards certain things or pieces of information without knowing why. You may manifest information or insight easily, especially in regards to feelings or relationships. For example, you may manifest info to clarify strange feelings or “disordered thoughts” I hear (?) related to others (I’m mostly getting friends, so for example if you get a hunch that a friend is lying (by omission?), you might manifest clarity). This is also related to what I said about manifesting for the self. You may manifest a lot of self discovery at this time, or use your self knowledge to manifest other things. For example, you may realize some things you thought were “you” actually come from emotions or attachments. Or, doing emotional work could lead to a lot of discoveries, not only of yourself but also your perspective of the world. This actually might be a bit overwhelming right now, in which case meditation may help, or another practice that grounds your emotional body so feelings don’t crash through unexpectedly. I don’t get a lot of spiritual vibes, but the Moon [rx] always has a hint of that to me. Maybe most of you are not really spiritual or don’t work with intuition as a “gift,” but you have heightened awareness at this time. This may be why you’re manifesting clarity. Your feelings provide strings of thought to investigate, and the focus on this may manifest more ideas based on the original hunch. You could apply this to your professional life or whatever area you’re seeking success in. Random flashes of ideas may provide unconsidered paths to interesting outcomes. You do this more easily in your relationships, and maybe don’t notice your intuition in other places as much. But this isn't something you need to focus on if you don’t want to, especially as this pile is more in the energy of doing rather than being in the inner world where you've already spent a lot of time.

It’s interesting you got the 3 of cups as your center card and again you got another deck’s 3 of cups under it. There’s a sense of your reality being very focused on external factors right now. I feel like this represents a sense of support to lean on, whether this is social support or something else. There’s also something you’ve really poured yourself into recently. I’m not sure if this is your relationships or something separate, as I was getting something that feels like work but isn’t a job. This feels like a passion, hobby, niche, training for a career, or maybe just the amount of time you’ve poured into self discovery. Maybe the support you’ve found recently is related to this, like friends from a hobby. Either way, this is where your attention is going, so this is where many of your manifestations will be. If there’s something within this area that you'd like to bring to fruition, now would be a good time to set that intention. Visualizing before you get really focused or channeling determination into your new idea are examples of how you could apply this. Especially if you do something with your hands, like artistic crafts? What’s powerful is how you pour yourself into something functions like an acknowledgment and celebration of reality. When you become that focused (like making something, or training for something genuinely), the outside noise falls away and you pour into your will. You are literally creating—manifesting in real time. Recreating that concentration is very useful for manifesting other things. Also, incorporating more celebration & appreciation into your day will help you tap into that in a similar way—by being present. I feel like you’re already engaging in this appreciative energy, though maybe not consciously for some.

I’m getting a big message about what I said in the beginning, a time period where your emotions were confusing. For some this happened because you got hurt by friends or a partner (maybe they lied by not telling you something?). I keep hearing “blinding.” Your emotions were overwhelming at this time or you felt like you had the rug pulled from under you. To get through this, your focus shifted away from stronger emotions or previous hopes and more towards yourself + present reality. However, this is a transitory period. Like I mentioned, compared to other piles your analysis is more time specific, and this can also be seen in most of your cards being minor arcana. Being in touch with your emotions and heart is a big avenue for your manifestations. Right now is a time to gain your footing. But, eventually I see exhaustion from the amount of energy you’re pouring into balancing all these external things, and also from this emotional pain needing to be processed. At that point, it’s time to do some healing and shadow work so that you can integrate your emotions with the growth you’re doing right now. This will be a time of learning more about your emotions in relation to yourself with the new perspectives gained. For example, if you’re practicing confidence, maybe in the near future you'll to be confident even when anxious. If you’re learning independence, maybe you'll learn what healthy emotional independence looks like for you. Integrating these different parts will help you have a multifaceted manifesting ability, and also help with emotional stability. Your reality & manifesting habits may feel more concrete as your inner world becomes more “patched,” I hear.

Message [Law is Not Justice rx, Authority (Mars in Capricorn, 10th house), cross, fish]:

Your message is about commanding authority. Taking an unfair or crappy experience and deciding what you will do with it. By becoming the authority of yourself, you can take the unfair and make it fair. Not because you controlled others or changed their actions, but because you controlled your own perspective and turned what was once bad into something useful or good. And not because you need to feel good about it, but because authority transcends feeling. Instead of being controlled by the experience, you make the experience. I heard “rewriting” or “reframing the narrative.” We perceive stories by the way the narrator frames that experience. Know you are the narrator, not just a character in the story. This also applies to the characters. An “evil” character can become inconsequential or neutral if we remove the magnitude the narrative places on them, or tell the story from a different angle. That concept may have significance, even about yourself. You guys also have impending emotional work; maybe not part of this season but the next. The type of person you’re becoming is preparing you for the next season so that you’re better equipped to do that emotional analysis. It’s not that you can’t do shadow or emotional work now, that’s just not the main focus energetically.

The second part of this message is to say you’re already doing what you can to make the most of this, or you’re encouraged to try. If you've been embodying that wands energy by taking action, “owning” up to your behavior, and doing what you can to improve yourself, this definitely applies (or is a message to keep aiming for that). Yes, you've been through a tribulation that even now may seem unfeasible to get through, however this activated parts of yourself that allow for growth and success. Transmuting this pain into other energy, such as by pouring yourself into a craft, is not easy but you've been doing this all along. I feel something reminiscent of pride, but it seems to be directed at you rather than coming from you. So, I don’t know if this is your guides’ (I thought I picked up on them before)/higher self’s feelings, someone around you, my own congrats to you, or some other recognition, but you certainly have accomplishments to be proud of. Even surviving can be hard when you’re in the trenches but here you are doing it and then some! And I keep getting that you’re just doing it, you’re not even thinking about it in this way. It’s a lovely bravery to face life this way, so not only congrats to you, but know the more you transmute the old energy, the more abundance can become available. The cross is about difficulties, and the fish is about bounty, especially (but not only) materially. This is that preparation for the next season I was talking about, it is creating a cushioning, as well as endurance and victories you can rest on when you're revisiting some harder transmutations. I channeled a lot of this part; just know there’s a strong heartwarming sense of appreciation and pride for you from somewhere, whether that’s your spiritual team or maybe this is energy you can embody when you're having harder days. Keep going pile 4 pls 😁!!

Extra Details: pompompurin, flan, plushies (making plushies?). Interpreting dreams, blockage in expressing emotions (feeling your thoughts are too crazy or fragile to explain. Maybe it’s not possible to communicate, especially if not on speaking terms). Learning where you stand with others. I see an image of a wave crashing against rocks, an active/frothy ocean. That may be significant to your emotions; ground yourself and stay present as emotions bubble up. More younger people here like teens-22 year olds (just a specific detail. You might be feeling like you’ve just grown up or like you’re old? You’re not too old to accomplish something. Get creative with your resources/researching if you feel limited by age). Whatever you’re pouring yourself into seems fruitful! Tired of putting on a happy face, might see a lot of results from effort right now, fateful experience (such as a low period starting you on a better path), I channeled energy from pile 3 so if you already felt a pull it may resonate. Jester/fool, feeling goofy. Felt someone made a fool of you, or April Fools is significant. Joker card. Feeling like time is running out, fire mercury, fire or fire-earth heavy natal chart. Most recent mercury retrograde is significant. May have had car privileges taken as punishment. Or maybe there’s a current conflict about transportation, especially at work. I saw a bus or prison bus. Maybe some feel limited by a commute or there’s a link between punishment and someone’s ability to go places. Carpool, house arrest or someone brought to justice? If this is you, use your resources/be creative in how you can explore even if transportation is limited, especially online or through books. VHS, security and regular camera footage. Death penalty may be significant, working in law or transitioning into/out of law. I see someone going through these flame blowers idk if that’s relevant, maybe you're studying macabre topics such as death penalty/ torture, maybe you feel like you went through a trial by fire metaphorically, or watched something graphic (could also be flame effects at an event like a concert?). Caught on tape? There’s a link between a punishment and recorded media for some but I’m not sure what exactly, maybe even watching something as a punishment like at work or school (if this has no relevance don’t make it fit since I don’t even know lol). Processing a death from your past. Boss energy [you]

For those that believe in spirit guides: yours are coming through with happiness at your accomplishments & support for you, it’s a very strong message. Some of you are already entering that next period I mentioned, so you’re in or exiting celebration mode like one celebrates the harvest as part of prep for the next season. Congrats, even if you just survived!

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 5

[8 of wands, page of wands, 8 of swords rx, 4 of wands, 4 of pentacles rx, 4 of cups, two of pentacles, the Hierophant, the Empress rx]

Hi pile five! A limitation (real or perceived) has been lifted, there’s been a perspective shift, or you’ve recently let go of something that was keeping you trapped. I got images of something being lifted away to reveal something new, someone coming out of the dark, or a cage. Now you’re excited to see what can be done with all this new energy. Though the magician hasn’t come out it reminds me of that energy, or like a kid in a candy shop. There’s innocent enthusiasm and fiery energy behind everything, or at least behind steps you take towards things you like. Even if you’re just planning or dreaming, I’m getting a sense of rejuvenation, like maybe you were not enthusiastic before but now there’s some excitement in possibilities. You’re encouraged to ride the wave of any extra energy you’re feeling, and especially use this time to build some dreams that you can act more on later. There’s also a sense of investigation or curiosity. Maybe part of this period is being interested in things you felt restricted from before, or looking into something that's piqued your curiosity. In general, your curiosity and ability to switch interest in many things can be a bonus to you when organized. Maybe this felt like some kind of fault, and now you’re encouraged to see how you can benefit from this fast-paced life, or this tendency to always move on to something else. If you do embody this, you may want to set smaller benchmarks for yourself. Manifesting is easier when you work with how you are vs how others seem to manifest. Setting a large, distant goal can make someone with a shifting life (some of you move a lot) or ideas feel bad about never reaching those , even though they operate fine from a short-term perspective. It’s not that you can’t have larger goals, but some of you need to focus on the rungs of the ladder you’re metaphorically climbing rather than just on what waits at the top. This fast-paced energy may also refer to this specific time in your life. What was lifted may actually be you. Some of you have this “up up & away” energy like stepping into an exciting era all of a sudden, and these themes are in the imagery of the cards.

This momentum you carry swinging between different interests is as I said beneficial when organized. “Cleaning” things out your energy can be very potent in inviting new things in, and you seem to be doing this energetically as you explore new things + leave the old behind. Starting new things at this time and then deciding which of those things you'd like to invest more in during the long term may be fruitful. I see you manifesting quickly when you let go of expectations & over-contemplation (“do I really want this, but what if I like this better, what if it’s all bad or I never get it…”) and embrace a whimsy for life.

Like pile 4, your message seems relevant to the current time rather than overall. For some of you this new energy is overwhelming a bit. Maybe there's so many possibilities you’re not sure what to focus on, or maybe there’s a choice that has a lot of different options. Especially if you’re weighing your family or home life into the decision, or making a choice for yourself compared to making one for the family (was this what was trapping some of you?). It might feel like you wanted this for a long time and now that it’s more reachable you’re like well now what. Right now, what brings you joy and keeps your interest alive is a good place to return to. If you're struggling in choosing things to go for or knowing how exactly you want to polish these, return to that which makes YOU feel excited or satisfied. Focusing on that is like a resting point from which you can plan other things.

You may have struggled with knowing when to act. Maybe you read a lot of teachings on manifestation about action being unnecessary, or you were in a mental place where it was difficult to balance different sides of yourself, such as the desire to act with a desire to be faithful to your wishes. But again, I think this is about finding the right way to manifest for you. When you let go of wanting to wait for something or wanting to act/not act, and simply do and be according to how your inner self guides you, you’ll experience more stability that’s not based in the external world but something deeper. To let go of expectations is a repeating theme, letting go of how you think you should be doing things or how things should be, and simply being true to what you're feeling. Especially if you live a fast-paced life, it’s important to go with the flow instead of creating artificial rigidity or a false sense of control. When you accept your changeability, you may be able to manifest with more ease/speed (but again, the enjoyment or appreciation is also the point and not just the end). This is especially true for those that have this struggle because of teachings or expectations from family or from a sense of “tradition” & “propriety.”

With the entire center row being 4s, there's huge stability or rest available. But, I keep getting a sense of it not being immediately accessed by you. Like when you can trust yourself, you throw yourself back into a loop of thoughts and never let yourself feel calm or stillness, and this can bleed into your manifestations or goals. Some of you do this like self punishment, or because you don’t feel like you can let yourself be calm and collected? Or due to fear about your desires. You give and take away from yourself, you constantly shove something in your face to ruminate on or be in a loop about. Some of you left this energy but maybe it’s a continuous struggle, and for many this comes from how your parents interacted with you. If your parents always shoved something in your face to do or critique, or never let you feel assured, you may be repeating this in your internal monologue. It’s like you’re standing on the precipice of peace and your mind is like BUT WAIT! If you struggle with anxiety or obsessive thoughts then I encourage using mental health resources available to you, but for many this is about catching the pattern in the moment and deciding to be present to what’s in front of you.

Message [Such a Curious Dream, Quarrel, lily, garden, Uruz]:

I originally wrote this in the details but it came out as your message. Something about an argument between this pile and another keeps popping up. Maybe some of you wanted this, like manifesting a needed disagreement. There's a strong message about staying calm or walking away if needed. It’s not about whether it’s right or wrong to argue, but staying level-headed is much more important. Something to do with your image, reputation, or maturity, values. There’s possibly someone in the vicinity or related to this that you would not want to see you “blow up” or stoop low. There’s some kind of public aspect, whether it happens in public or others hear of it (for some this is a place of worship or about beliefs). Or, that could be a reminder you don’t have to engage if you don’t want to—you can go elsewhere. This could show yourself you can take confrontation in a dignified way, if you’ve had trouble with that. Someone/ something may try to get a reaction or do something that makes you irate; breathe! Even if you’re right, unbridled emotion takes our ability to make good decisions and say what we need to; it’s about retaining control even when a nerve is hit. It reminds me of that meme where the guy is yelling with a tiny brain and the other one is like :), big brained lol. For some, this could be run of the mill with your job and you may need to stop yourself from going ham on a customer or manager if you’ve been snapping. Don’t do things that could get law enforcement called on you, like putting hands on someone first. Not saying you can’t argue or defend yourself, but don’t do things you’ll need to clean up later. Sometimes our emotional response comes from an automatic or unconscious place, but being present and grounded will make you aware as it happens. Focus on yourself, not on trying to keep up with the argument.

Extra Details [TW burn mention]: “euphemism”, cafes (I see someone throwing a hot drink, so sorry if that happened! Or maybe there are burn patients?), Crime and Punishment, yellow & black butterflies, felt you can’t build certain things in your life because you move/ travel a lot, 4/44/444 & 8, I’m not getting black sheep energy but you may be one to do things differently in your family or to shed old beliefs (example, maybe your family believes women don’t do certain things but you’re deciding this isn’t true for you), modest or religious attire (is this what some of you are deciding on?), a family that could've been more supportive (or maybe you struggle to identify toxicity in your family because they’re usually nice or helpful), suddenly leaving home/workplace or having a major perspective shift on these, sudden/quick heated convo especially over text (esp if you’re disagreeing, or separating from family/a job?). Being reprimanded over something you wrote (already happened)? Quitting/ being fired (already happened) or maybe a dispute that happened at a public place/work, Patrick Star lol? (that ep where Squidward hires him for the fancy Krusty Krab), healing oneself through confrontation or facing unpleasant events, bravery, mind over matter. I got a lot about religion and spirituality at the end so those may have more focus, if you already felt drawn to pile 2 it may resonate

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 6

[Ace of wands, King of Pentacles, Five of Pentacles rx, Innocence, Clinging to the Past (clarified by Eihwaz), Celebration, Queen of Pentacles, 6 of wands, The Sun]

Hi pile six! You have a knack for manifesting material and creative success. With the ace of wands mirroring the Sun, you have a well of good ideas or opportunities—especially for business with these pentacles. It’s like you’ve retained a level of creativity or ingenuity that many struggle with once they get older.This may also be the better part of naivety: you’re able to bring amazing things into reality because you’re able to dream and believe instead of being limited by others’ faith. If there’s one idea or “mission” in particular that drives you, this passion is especially great for your manifestations. I also see your inner need to feel secure or establish something real for yourself does the same, especially if you once experienced more destitute times. You may have already focused on manifesting inner stability or improvement, and now there’s more focus towards manifesting this in your material world. This Sun card in particular emphasizes how great things coincide with a little darkness, and with the five of pentacles rx mirroring the ace of wands I would say that’s an important theme for you. This pile has the ability to transmute harsher lessons back into great ideas or new paths. That’s not to say you don’t struggle, but this is natural fuel for your creativity and brainstorming. A specific message for some is you may be struggling with shedding an ingrained or familial belief, especially but not only about money? You may have been taught limiting or negative beliefs regarding prosperity and you’re grappling with whether you should keep internalizing this because it seems realistic/someone you value taught you this, or if you should be true to what you believe. It’s important to return to who you are regardless of the circumstances. Everyone must come to their own understandings; trying to be true to someone else’s reality makes you disconnected from your own. Tradition for tradition’s sake does not create growth or new stories. Pessimism is also not inherently more realistic or mature than optimism. For many of you, optimism helps you manifest, so don’t feel like this is something childish or a hindrance even if others are more pessimistic.

What sticks out is you have an amazing spread of cards that indicate ideas/opportunities, internal and external security, all around happiness and success. The Sun even came out twice; “Innocence” is another version of the Sun. But your center card is not as positive, comparable to the 5 of cups, and this “celebration” also came out in reverse initially (but I don’t usually read this deck reversed). I’m not sure if you guys are going through a hard time with past hurts or a loss right now, but the person in this center card can’t “see” the other good cards in the spread; their vision is completely blocked by the past. Trauma or pain is making it harder for you to connect with the good within and around you. This could also be old perspectives or emotions. Some of this may be purposeful, you may be staying in the past intentionally or holding onto things in a detrimental way (especially with family/home, spite/bitterness/grief? For some there’s something you physically don’t want to let go of, or you’re romanticizing something, and somebody needs to hear you’re not betraying anyone by continuing to live your life after loss). There’s a deep want for your positive qualities to be recognized (by yourself or others) despite this potentially being blocked by current emotional struggles. I feel if you focus on building this appreciation of your natural worth and talents, you’ll be able to ground yourself again. The good things around and within you are so blaring that I think even a small perspective shift will help you tap back into your potential. Even though there’s something about the past holding you, returning to your roots in a different way may be beneficial. Finding positive or healthy things about the past to comfort you rather than things which keep you in painful memories. For example, you may need to incorporate more playfulness into your lifestyle like child-you would have, or you may need to reconnect to that child-like perspective of the world. If there’s something you really wanted when you were younger or would have made you feel secure, see how you can fulfill that feeling for adult you. Maybe there was an idea that seemed impractical as a kid, but now you have the knowledge to develop it differently. If you’ve been having a hard time with loss, you may need to revisit activities or memories of good times rather than the loss itself. Basically, your feeling, nostalgia, or desire for things to be a certain way are not necessarily an issue, you just need to focus these energies into something material or an idea you can work on. A passion or certain view of the world from earlier in your studies/career could also be helpful to your manifesting right now.

Having fun and letting loose with others can also help you tap back into your manifesting potential, especially if it was people who upset you in the first place. For some, if there’s a set of people from earlier in your life that you still have a positive connection to, spending time with them may be good. It’s important to make an honest distinction between those you have a decent relationship with and those who you wish to have a relationship with but are not a positive influence on your life right now. This doesn’t have to be with others, though. Even just doing something by yourself that grounds you or makes you focus on positive emotions for a small time will be helpful. Something that connects you to your body or the physical world may be good (such as hanging out somewhere outside the home, dancing, playing games (like at an arcade/shop?), being in the sunshine, I am getting night out vibes but during the day). Cleaning may also clear stagnant energy (especially going through and organizing items from the past).

Message [All Must Have Prizes, Resistance (Taurus in Mercury, 2nd H), book, ship]:

Your message is mostly reiterating what I mentioned above. There’s this sense of life or something pulling you forward, but it’s like you don’t want to leave something in the past or you feel duty-bound to something. I feel you’re aware of this, and some of you may be actively resisting moving forward or making a final decision about moving on, especially because it may involve family or long-standing relationships. But movement is inevitable, you can slow down but never stop in life, even if you stop looking at the progression. It’s time to make peace with these things so you can move forward as your own choice instead of being dragged forward. You don’t have to perfectly master your emotions/grief, nor do you have to find a perfect conclusion that suits everyone. You either already have the knowledge and skills you need to keep going or its within your grasp. This may manifest as a lightbulb moment or acceptance for you. Especially if you've been hesitating because you’re trying to please or consider everyone in your life plans, you may soon reach a point where you don’t wish to do this anymore. Basically, a mental connection will be made that returns you to the present or your path (but the quality of this experience depends on the effort you put into yourself/your life).

Specific messages: if you've been waiting on some info regarding travel/moving, or you're hesitating on this, then you may receive that info or realization that makes the final decisions for these plans possible. If you've been having a lot of disagreements or long conversations in regards to financial/career plans (such as family trying to persuade you to a specific route), then realizations you have may be tied to this and self-acceptance of what you want.

Extra Details: I’m seeing an empty house or property, a home or neighborhood built a very long time ago maybe 150+ years, old yellowed family photographs especially wedding or new home photos, cassettes, bright-colored eyes. Dancing (maybe dance classes or going somewhere you can let loose physically would be good? I am seeing disco or 70s/80s vibes, dressing up in a way that’s fun to you may also be helpful), or if not dancing connecting with a hobby or physical activity you can really get into may be good (like a wreck room?), feeling blocked/stagnant in grief, going through old conversations or writings (may be old letters or notes), realizing you have different views than someone you care about, tropical locations, orange/gold (also orange fruit/tree), people who meant well but planted limiting/fear-based/toxic beliefs in you, Cinderella or maybe there’s a moment where you’ll feel like you’re going to the ball metaphorically, luxury or bright-colored cars (especially red/orange? I hear Mustang), renting cars or other things for trips, delayed plans suddenly moving, going through a passed loved one’s things, networking, an event that’s not really fancy but means a lot to you, or alternatively you may switch between a casual to fancy vibe on an upcoming day out/event or dress casually to a fancy event, day at the beach, heavy Taurus placements

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