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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 2 months

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02/21/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew Sightings; Rhys Darby; Samba BTS; Vico Ortiz; Ruibo Qian; HowToHelp; Petition Embed; Queerties Last Day; IRL Outreach Assets; New Watch Parties; Visual Rep of SaveOFMD Effort; Fan Spotlight; Collages; OurFlagMeansBooze; Articles; Morale; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

Wow everyone, crazy day again. Day 2 of BTS Darbygeddon. I'm actually going to set a google calendar reminder for tomorrow between 1-2 in case Samba decides to drop another doozy on us. Hope you all had a good day. Here's the highlights-- there's more I would have liked to add but I need to get permission first, so I'll hopefully have them up tomorrow. As always, please let me know if I missed anything <3

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

= Rhys Darby =

Back again with another Cameo is Rhys for our lovely crewmate @Kellykat53 over on twitter! Thank you so much for sharing this with us Kelly, it's a lovely little inspirational video, definitely gives us plenty of Vitamin RD (as @scorpiostarseed would say). Check out the Cameo

= Saint Samba Schutte =

I've seen several people mention that Samba is a Saint (sorry not sure who started it to attribute it) so going forward, that will be his name. SO MANY BTS pictures and videos. My goodness. Has it even been a day since the last Merstede dump? It has, but damn, here we are with the BOYFRIEND video, and the nipple scratching, and oh look it's Buttons from the Cryptid Factor! As always, if you have access to instagram, please check out these posts on Samba and Rhys' posts/stories.

Videos on Tumblr:

Boyfriends - ty @blakbonnet!

Merstede - ty @kiwistede!

English Jacket - ty @kiwistede!

Cursed Jacket - ty @kiwistede!

Steard Nips - ty @kiwistede!

Rhysently Granted Reunion - ty @kiwistede!

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico voiced the new novel "The Diablo's Curse "by New York Times Best Seller Gabe Cole Novoa! I know some of you are huge Vico fans so wanted to mention it, you can purchase the audio book here. Src: Vico's IG

= Ruibo Qian =

Are you in New York? Our Pirate Queen will be at the #TonyKiserTheater NEXT MONDAY, FEBRUARY 26 at 6:30PM for a one night only reading of On The Evolutionary Function of Shame, by D.A. Mindell - For more details visit here.

== How to Help ==

Hey all! We're adding some things to the daily task lists (and taking some off). Here they are!

= Petition Embed Code =

Looking to easily embed the petition link in your AO3 fic, or maybe your email? @sonnetforbonnet was kind enough to provide us with some embeds you can use! Please visit the repo for the codes!

= Last day for Queerties! =

Please remember to vote! Today's the last day!

Best TV Comedy

Best TV Performance

= IRL Outreach Assets =

== New Watch Parties Coming Up! ==

The Pirates! Watch Party! This is a family friendly movie so bring the kids! Or the adults-- or anyone you know, really, as long as it's not against their will! Sunday March 3rd, 3 PM EST, 12 PM PST, 8 PM GMT!

Watch Party Hashtags:

#OurPirateCaptain

#SaveOFMD

#AdoptOurCrew

== Visual Representation of Fandom Efforts to SOFMD ==

Remember our friends that had the in person Matelotage Processional? Well they're back with a funny video illustrating the fandom efforts of Save OFMD!

Fangirlfoto's Instagram Don't have instagram? See the video on the repo here.

＝＝ Fan Spotlight ＝＝

Thank you once again to @wndrngnomad on twitter for all their awesome collages dedicated to the Cast and Crew! Day 21: Calypso's Birthday! Perfectly timed considering the lovely Boyfriend themed BTS we got today! Catch-Up: Day 2: Madeleine Sami!

= Our Flag Means Booze! =

Our absolutely brilliant crew-mate @quiet-compassion over on tumblr has been designing OFMD Themed Drinks since the show was dropped by Max! These not only have super fun and creative names you'll all recognise, but an amazing array of flavours too! If you're 21+ (in the US) or the appropriate age for drinking in your country, feel free to try them out! As always, please drink responsibly! Are you celebrating with Moonglow Manifesting? Why not try the "Moon Glow" cocktail for the end of the event! Want to see ALL their concoctions? Head on over to the repo, they're all there!

== Articles ==

17 Facts and Easter Eggs about OurFlagMeansDeath That will Get you On Board - 17 Fakten und Easter Eggs zu „Our Flag Means Death“, die dich ins Boot holen - ty @AddieH on twitter

Max: The 34 Absolute Best TV Shows to Watch

==Morale ==

Hey crew. I've been hearing some scuttlebutt around the deck that people are starting to worry again about whether or not s3 is going to happen. The love notes section is already pretty long so I'm not gonna go too crazy up here too -- instead I'm going to just point out that David Jenkins, while not active and posting things for us right now, is sneakily poking around in Samba and Rhys' BTS comments. He's still there, he's still watching, and I think he can tell we're all feeling the high from Samba's releases. Don't give up hope, these things take time. They're gonna get there. I'm gonna add the trends to this section today because I think it's important to see what we did today:

== Love Notes ==

Hey Lovelies. I know I've said it before, but it bares repeating since I know a lot of you are struggling right now.

Just a gentle reminder that if your brain is telling you that there's something wrong with you, or that you've done something wrong or embarrassing -- it's lying to you.

There's been so much dopamine from all the excitement lately with the BTS, that it has to come down at some point, and when it does, your brain will sometimes over-compensate and you start feeling maybe worse than you did before.

This is totally normal, it really is. Our brains are glorious complex pathways of unmeasurable brilliance, and yet a simple hormone change can make that same brain tell us that we're not enough, or we're not worthy.

I am here to remind you, you are so very much enough.

No matter what is happening in your life-- in your job, in your personal relationships, in your family, in your school, anywhere--

YOU ARE ENOUGH, EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE.

If you feel like you've failed, or you've let someone down, just know you are STILL enough. We all fail, it's how we learn.

We pick ourselves back up and we try again, and if we fail again--

We're STILL enough, and we are still worthy of love and comfort.

Eventually you will succeed. You will get there, and all the while while you work on it, YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

I know it's so hard to see when you're feeling small, but I see you all every day, and I am awe-struck at your constant ability to band together and not only find love and support, but give it so freely and lovingly.

A simple @ to someone, alerting them to something they'd like

A love note in dms or on a tumblr post

A gif or picture or video brought to tumblr from some other platform so others can see them.

Writing a fic or drawing a picture.

A reblog with tags, goofy or not

Anon Asks showing people you support how they feel about a given topic

Liking a post.

These are all love notes. No matter how public or private, they're all there and they all add up eventually to form this wonderful community and you've been kicking ass at love.

I know we all look like we're having a good time, but a lot of us are struggling silently, and yet we're finding ways to reach out to one another and spread love to help us all get through. Love isn't always positivity, it can be commiseration, or frustration on behalf of someone. You all are finding the best ways to help your crew, and I'm so very proud of you.

You all are capable, creative, gifted, beautious piles of stardust smooshed together into one wonderfully unique package, and you are so very loved.

You are enough,

You are loved,

and THINGS WILL GET BETTER Lovelies.

Get some rest <3 You got this.

= Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika =

What can I say, I literally can't not include this Rhys gif today. It's physically impossible, please forgive me. Good fucking lord, I'm going to Costa Rica now. Also, sorry I tried to get a matching Taika gif, but I have run out of brain cells. Hopefully this one will suffice.

Rhys - Courtesy of @bizarrelittlemew

Taika - Courtesy of @studiomoon

#ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #daily ofmd recap #daily ofmd recaps #taika waititi #rhys darby #ofmd #our flag means death #vico ortiz #ruibo qian #save ofmd #saveofmd #save our flag means death #ofmd bts #samba schutte #saint samba schutte

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subparcarrion · 2 months

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CW//TW: kinda vent, discussion of tics and tic attacks (and some of the aftermath for me), discussion of high stress and anxiety situations, cussing/cursing, discussion of physical pain, discussion of pills.

(ACTUAL POST UNDER CUT.)

So... yeah,,,

Tic attacks, gonna have to go with ☆☆☆☆☆/★★★★★ (0/5). Especially at close to four in the morning at a sleepover.

Not really sure why I'm deciding to put it out on the internet, but I guess I wanna talk about it or smth. And with March break and my crippling social anxiety the closest I've come to talking about it irl is a quick "that was kinda traumatic ngl" to a close friend over text.

In retrospect it makes sense, it's the most stressed I've been in a while now paired with a lot of just having to be constantly "on" and feeling scared to say no.

For context I did a pseudo babysitting job for a family friend from around mid afternoon to nearly midnight. I then decided to go a sleepover with my friends late since they had been kind enough to move the date so I could attend. (Probably not the best idea for the future who has a bad anxiety disorder and probably a lot of other stuff, but when have I ever said no.)

The job itself was pretty stressful but the kid and her mom's are super nice and did their best to accommodate me, so that was really nice. (They also paid me really well when I would have honestly done if for free so I'm not gonna complain. Anything bad was kinda just unavoidable considering it was me who was doing the job.)

Im also not really gonna bitch about the sleepover too much, my friends are lovely, the timing just made things rough.

Since I was arriving so late we hung out for like an hour and then went to bed (at least tried to go to bed), a lot of tha time was just kinda spent getting ready for bed though. There's nothing wrong with that, I just ended up feeling a little like I had missed out on the best part of stuff. (Again, no one else's fault.)

Everyone else fell asleep pretty quick, however I was not tired at all. It wasn't unexpected though, going from one high stress situation to another doesn't really let you let your guard down. Let alone feel properly sleepy.

So I just kinda did some stuff on my phone for thirty minutes to see if I would get tired and then decided to finally turn in for the night still very much all to aware of everything.

At this point it's probably important to mention that everyone in my froend group has at least a passing interest in a game called "The Stanley Parable". And if you didn't know you can go into an elevator in that game, and it kinda just plays this goofy elevator music in loup until you leave.

It is thus tradition in my friend group to play the elevator music while we fall asleep at any and all sleepovers where it is possible and everyone is chill with it.

The elevator is kinda some basic lyricless pop-ish kinda techno song where you can occasionally, if you listen closely enough hear the narrator hum along with the tune. The song itself is a certified banger, but I was stressed as fuck and hyperaware of everything. It was safe to say it was driving me crazy, especially the humming part.

I didn't really have any means to turn it off though and I would feel bad doing it. After all, I had agreed to it any it would be distruptful to try since it was super late and the room was pretty packed. To move around too much would probably wake someone up. (Wow, foreshadowing or smth.)

I never really got to sleep and it was around late three in the morning, nearly four when shit really started to hit the fan.

(Another bout of context before I continue: so I've had what I'm just calling tics at this point for about a year now, maybe a bit longer. At least that's when they started getting really noticeable and causing real problems for me. Personally for me it's mostly motor ticks that get much worse in stressful situations. Stressful situations being an iffy description that could cover pretty much anything on acount of the anxiety disorder. Albeit over time it has developed into mostly motor ticks with occasional verbal ones.

I can have periods where they are happening very few times a day and then ones where they are happening several times a minute, either way they never really go away. I had been doing pretty good tick wise before this whole ordeal, now it's definitely leaning towards the worse, more disruptive and painful side.)

It started off with a ciuple of my usual motor tics, getting more and more aggressive very quickly. For the most part these would consist of things like my shoulders jumping up and hitting the vase of my head and neck or my hands doing weird shit.

By the time the verbal tics started the motor tics were so aggressive and frequent they were getting pretty painful. This would be the same time I would start making small squeaks as a verbal tick.

It became pretty clear after that this wasn't stopping any time soon so I sat up and used my pillow to cover my mouth in hopes to muffle the noise so I wouldn't wake anyone.

This was the point where something changed and my tics got the worst they'd ever been. It went from squeaks to small screams and loud grunts. And I was just sitting there in pain scared out of my mind for nearly and hour before the noise finally woke up my friends. Cuz despite all my effort a pillow can't hide constant screaming for very long.

When my friends woke up they were reasonably concerned, they knew I had tics that could occasionally get kinda bad but this was the worst it had been, and I could barely explain through the ticks that it had been going on for about an hour. There was definitely no way I was calming them down, and in all fairness I was freaking out too and they handled the whole shitshow remarkably well.

They probably spent twenty minutes or more trying to calm me down or help, but nothing was working, in fact it might have been getting worse. One of my friends also tried Google-ing it, but Google pretty much said drug him or ignore them were feasible options for yours truly, the little bitch boy.

My friend eventually got their mom and I regained enough control to pack my shit and got driven home. I downed as much sleeping and pain meds as I was allowed to take and continued ticking until I passed out.

Idk,,, not a particularly entertaining story, ig I just wanted to get it out somewhere.

As for me right now, it's been two days and I can't go five minutes without some sort of tic at most.

However, I'm feeling somewhat better, even if my neck hurts like shit.

I suppose that's all, thanks for listening to me bitch and moan tumblr. <33 /p

-carrion_

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akfamilyhome · 4 months

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YouTube 2023 Year in Review

Welp! Guess it's that time of year again. I'm sure 2023 has been a...pretty interesting year to say for quite a few people. And for me personally, it's also been a weird little year that's great in some parts and could be better in others.

What have I been up to?

My life right now is kinda divided into three parts:

A) the "IRL" stuff, as in working on my editing day job and spending time with family.

B) working on YouTube videos which I still have the passion for,

and C) playing video games, collecting cool things and socializing with my online friends.

I've always felt that it's difficult for me to put equal attention to all three, and lately, it definitely feels like I'm focusing on 'A' and 'C' more. Of course, my day job is kinda how I make a living at the moment so that obviously gets priority, but that doesn't mean I want to ignore my YouTube stuff! It's just hard to sneak in a few lines of script-writing while multitasking at a day job, and only being able to freely spend time on 'B' and 'C' during night isn't the most productive way to go about things, especially with other things that aren't YouTube production. I also have games I want to play, art I want to draw, folks I'd like to hang out with etc.

And that's a fine, healthy way of going about things online for regular folks! But I don't want my YouTube channel to stagnate as a result of this, because I still love making videos! I have support from folks on Patreon, and I still hope to continue growing the channel so that it becomes more sustainable to do frequent updates.

Part of me has always thought about just quitting my day job once I have a decent amount of money saved up and just try doing YouTube full-time and rely on Patreon, even if there's a very low chance it'd be sustainable. Of course, that's a big gamble, and I'm not truly sure if that's really the best way to go about things. But those are just my inner thoughts and I've rambled long enough...

So, I apologize for the above situation sort of being the root cause of the recent slower pace of my YouTube channel! The pace of the channel this year is about the same as in 2022, if not a little slower. I didn't really get a lot of dormant scripts from 2020-2021 off the ground, but being true to what I said in last year's Year in Review, I did end up working on a lot of spontaneous ideas even if there wasn't a "big" core video! In fact, I think almost every video released in 2023 that we'll discuss below were spontaneous ideas.

I'll talk more about what's to come for the channel in the end of the post, but for now, as usual, we'll take a look at each video I made during 2023 and I'll share my thoughts and some fun facts about each!

A Trip to the Hong Kong Kirby Pop-Up Store

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Various things were put up on the channel from January to March, including a funny little short for Mario Day and a new trailer for a revamped Patreon, but the major thing I put out was a look at the Kirby Pop-Up Store in Hong Kong! This was my first time doing a scripted documentation of an in-person event, and Nintendo Hong Kong would eventually do more events like Nintendo Live 2023 Hong Kong, and I'll definitely be talking about them on my channel eventually!

As for fun facts...uhh...I suppose Patreon patrons get to see the full unedited raw footage I took from the event lol

Top 10 Nintendo Trivia You NEVER Knew

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This year's April Fools video...was also a last-minute sort of idea, if I recall correctly! The concept is simple: it's a parody of generic Top 10 trivia videos in terms of presentation, but the curveball is instead of just doing other blatantly obvious fun facts, the facts would actually be super obscure, inconsequential Nintendo facts that barely anyone would've known about, so in the end it's kind of a legit trivia video in a twisted way. The facts in the video were sourced from new research, me asking friends for suggestions and some of my old posts on Twitter, so there were a few 'fun' facts that were left on the cutting room floor, and here's a good place to share them!

In an early version of the GameCube instruction manual, Mario 64 was used as a placeholder game

The infamous 'black box' in Super Mario 64 DS is not a visual glitch as commonly believed, and briefly appears in E3 2004 footage

Prototype screenshots of Mario 64 have appeared in an early print of the game's box art...and on a Nintendo Monopoly board in 2006 (next to the ? Block on the right side of the board if you're looking)

The Onion in Hey! Pikmin has white and purple in its colors, even though white and purple Pikmin never appear in the game

The original 3DS had two separate sets of black & white colors, for some reason

And to finally come clean...yes, around 30% of the video's script was generated using ChatGPT, as part of the joke. Mostly the introductory bits at the beginning of each segment, since it definitely did not give me the results I wanted when I asked it to describe the specific details of each fact, so y'know, hopefully that's a sign it's not coming for my job of talking about obscure Nintendo things! And don't worry, this will probably be the only time I ever use AI in my videos.

The Better N64 Wavebird Experience

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This is a follow-up to a 2021 video where I also used the N64 Switch Online controller on an original N64, albeit with a different adapter! This actually isn't a case where I received a free product to do a review on, I just happened to read about a better alternative, pre-ordered it online, it arrived in April and I decided to knock out a quick review/comparison video in 2 days!

As such, this is more of standard informative review video, but in all honesty, I still really like this setup, and it's in my opinion still one of the best controller options for original N64 games. So much so, that I recently completed my NSO controller collection by picking up a Sega Mega Drive 6-button NSO controller to eventually use with my original Mega Drive! I'm still looking for the compatible 8bitDo adapter though, so maybe when I eventually do, that can be a quick little video on the Plus channel for patrons!

The Most Expensive amiibo

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This is my favorite video I put out this year! The Qbby amiibo has always been in my sights for a while, and I've gone on record saying that I'd make a video on it if I got my hands on one.

Back in 2019, I once saw a Qbby amiibo being offered on Yahoo Auctions for a relatively cheap price, but to afford it I asked for extra donations via Ko-fi. Looking back on it now there were probably better options I could've taken, but either way the listing got cancelled and I refunded everyone who donated for that. Then sometime later I saw another relatively cheap BOXBOY package in a local listing, but then the seller never replied and deleted the listing, so the amiibo has eluded me until now, and there seems to be no signs of Qbby stock going down any time soon. My hope for a Qbby reprint continues, and hopefully this video still serve as a little awareness boost for folks who are wondering why he's one of the most expensive amiibo around!

Some of the gag editing on this one got spruced up a little bit which I enjoyed doing, but you also probably noticed that I got a turntable specifically for those glamour shots! ...yeah, I'll probably get more use of that thing later on as well.

The Kirby Battle Royale online joke wasn't exaggeration: I couldn't find anyone to play online with! I suppose that is to be expected for, y'know, playing a mid 3DS game in 2023, but it's a shame that Kirby Battle Royale doesn't at least offer a option to play with friends, and from some experimentation, it seems that two of my US-based friends were able to match with each other online while I couldn't, which also suggested some region-based matchmaking was at play. Oh well! There are some better 3DS games out there that I'd still like to play online one last time before their servers shut down this April.

Tetris...on a McDonald's Nugget

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Continuing the trend of 'make video on a recent find' for the third video in a row, it's the China-exclusive McDonald's Tetris Chicken McNugget! For an unscripted Things of Interest video, it turned out pretty well, kinda like the Rhythm Tengoku arcade video in 2022! Compared to the first unscripted TOI back in like 2018, I've definitely gotten a bit better at rambling since.

I was kind of a few days late to the party, and some other videos about the Tetris Nugget from larger channels have racked up more views since, but that's not really the point! As a casual Tetris fan that happens to be in proximity to mainland China, something as bizarre as this is totally right up my alley. Covering China-exclusive gaming stuff just kinda reminds me that I have yet to do a video on the iQue Player though, which I really want to...

FlashBoy Plus: The $95 Virtual Boy Flashcart

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I haven't really taken a YouTube sponsorship deal yet, but I do get emails about doing reviews or ad reads of items on occasion, like new Switch gaming accessories from different third parties and whatnot. Unfortunately, that's not really the type of stuff I do regularly on the channel unless I find a great angle to tackle it from, so the only review offer I've done on the channel until now is a limited Switch physical release in 2020.

When I was offered to review the FlashBoy Plus, I was definitely intrigued despite having already previously covered the HyperFlash 32, a technically better option! Virtual Boy flashcarts are already a very niche thing, so I gladly took the opportunity to take a look at any new option out there, and even if it's not a mainstream topic at all it does kinda appeal to me specifically.

In the video, I mentioned the (very cool looking) clear cartridge shell was not a publicly available option yet at the time of the review, but looking at the order site now, it has been added since! So hey, good for them! It is honestly pretty sick to have a transparent Virtual Boy cartridge.

Playing PC Games with the SNES Mouse & Famicom Keyboard

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I started work on the next core video right after the FlashBoy Plus video (more on that in the last section), but getting sick during early December forced me to delay it, so for that month I decided to do one last spontaneous idea: a followup to the 2021 video where I used the Famicom keyboard and SNES Mouse on a computer...but this time on a proper PC!

A thing that was brought up in the comments was one setting in particular: when I was changing the mouse settings in the Control Panel, there was a 'Enhance pointer precision' option that I didn't uncheck, which presumably slows down the mouse for precise movements. There wasn't a super noticeable difference when I unchecked it during further testing, but when I coupled it with further increasing the mouse sensitivity in games that allow you to change it in-game, I was actually able to get the SNES Mouse to move at a decent pace in some games! Of course, that requires tweaking with additional settings that would normally be overkill for a regular mouse, so it's still not practical, but at least there was a setup that would alleviate some of my complaints in the video.

Akfamilyhome Plus videos

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Over on my second channel Akfamilyhome Plus, once again there's a variety of stuff! There's Mario Wonder memes, a new high quality video game rip album, archival footage and more. If there's one thing you should check out though, it's the supercuts of me playing Everybody 1-2-Switch with my Discord server. It's the best kind of chaos. Long live Kitchen Timer 4.

This year, 8 new unscripted bonus videos were released publicly! You can enjoy watching me:

Visit the 3DS eShop on its final day of operation

Check out the Nintendo DSi XL Demo Video carts

Look through gaming goodies on a Chinese second-hand market

Unseal Captain Toad Treasure Tracker for the 3DS

Read through the 2010 Nintendo Anti-Piracy Manual

Unbox a complete copy of the original GBA Play-Yan

Compare the two popular 3DS capture card models

And check out the Nintendo Power...rewritable cartridge!

And over on Patreon, 8 more exclusive videos are also available, featuring things like a slew of Nintendo cleaning kits, iQue DS games, the Chinese Mario Movie DVD and more! As always if you don't want to wait till some of them rotate into public availability, they're all available on Patreon for just $1 USD a month!

The fuuuuture

Okay, so what's next for 2023?

I mean 2024. Oh god the typos are already starting.

Right before the FlashBoy Plus video came out, in late June 2023, I did a video topic poll on Patreon, asking what idea I should do next. Out of the four options given, one of them is a continuation of a limbo project from 2021, and the other three were spontaneous new core video ideas I came up with and wanted to do.

Well, one of the spontaneous new ideas won the poll, so the next core video is...

A look at the camera and sound apps on both the Nintendo DSi and 3DS! I originally wanted to get this out in December, and you all know what happened to that plan, BUT the script is done, the VO recording is done, footage recording is well underway and I am confident I'll be able to get it out this January. I really like how the script for this one shaped up and am commissioning some banger thumbnail art for it (🐦), so I REALLY hope you'll look forward to it!

Afterwards, there are a few in-progress ideas that I also want to work on for quick videos afterwards. As mentioned above, I visited Nintendo Live 2023 Hong Kong which was hosted on November, and ALSO the Nintendo Hong Kong Pop-Up Store which is running from December to January, so both of those would make for a perfect video in a similar vein as the Kirby Pop-Up Store video last year!

I also went on a trip to Japan last August, and took quite a bit of photos and footage. I still want to share my findings and experiences of being in Tokyo for the first time that I could remember, so there will be a fun little piece about that going on the Plus channel in the future!

And don't forget, I'm making a video about every game I beat during 2023, continuing the thing I started last year!

And after ALL of the above is done, I still have the remaining core video ideas from the June Patreon poll I did, since I did say I'd eventually love to do all of them, and that desire still hasn't gone away. I don't know how the rest of 2024 will go for this channel but I'd say this is a fantastic starting point, and I hope it'll all go up from there, since I'd really love to be more productive on here, while trying to keep that A-B-C balance in check!

So yeah! That's it for the 2023 Year in Review. If you've made it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading! Here's a 25-use invite link to my Discord server as a little something! Thank you to all of you who've supported me this past year, whether you're a viewer or a patron, and I hope to keep up the work this year and try to strive for better!

#akfamilyhome words #year in review #Youtube

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nikatyler · 4 months

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🌈 2023 ✨

Another year is over so it's time for a look back at what was happening on this blog! I haven't really been around, it was just my queue, and maybe that's one reason why I looked at my archive and went "huh" at everything. I don't remember much. The other reason why this year probably went poof in my head is because I was dealing with some mental health stuff lol. I say lol but it wasn't actually very lol but I'm doing better now and 2024...is looking promising for now.

So, let's talk more under the cut, shall we?

January

We're in Bridgeport and Sawyer is living his best life. You know, girlfriends, boyfriends, being turned into a vampire, giving birth to three little vampires, threatening to sell his enemies' organs on the black market...best life indeed.

February

Okay I am now seeing that "talking more" about every month will be impossible since I actually don't have much recollection of 2023 lmao

March

Sawyer and Erin are at the best point of their relationship, but we left them alone for a bit and went back to NSB. Pastel just moved to Strangerville and got a...rather strange roommate.

April

The rather strange roommate becomes Pastel's rather strange wife. I love these two so much. We also say hello to Moss -- and also to Ross, who returns from...god knows where. I mean yeah, there was the ts3 Ross, but technically they're two different people. Parallel universes and stuff.

May

Thea is born and strange wife Jesse gets even stranger. That whole "merging with the mother plant" thing was kinda weird but I really enjoyed it. Idk what I was on but it was fun. And then, before returning to the lepacy, I posted my Cottage Living screenshots! ...which were really just me going "uwu what does this do" on every possible Wicked Whims option.

June

...and I went from posting weird WW Ross stuff to posting wholesome Growing Together Ross stuff. If that gave you a whiplash, I am sorry, but imagine what it must be like for me. I'm locked with this guy in my head 24/7. He's the whiplash king. A blorbo to you, a curse to me. A beloved curse tho. Ok I'm getting weird. Back to the lepacy.

July

Lepacy time! Loved the soap opera Generations gen. Kinda wish I had sticked to some of the storylines instead of going "eh nvm I just wanna play". I'm not saying I regret not actually letting Saywer go on a killing spree but also...imagine if he went on a killing spree. You don't see that in lepacies often do ya

August

August was...welp 💀 I was at the grippy socks hospital for most of that month, 10/10 would recommend, but my queue ran out while I was there so I just reblogged some old stuff for a few weeks.

September

September is just lepacy month. Cornelia and Archer are happy, they get married, they get more children...yeah. Good wholesome Generations times all around. It's not like they're gonna get divorced later or anything.

October

The twins are kind of chaotic, one of them turns into a ghost, both then bring their cursed imaginary friends to life...and the final child of Archer and Cornelia is born.

November

I loved running into Sawyer at the grocery store all the time. Weird vampire alleged killer grandpa behavior suits him. Dorothea goes away to a boarding school, hates it there and instantly comes back. Relatable. Oh and midlife crisis hits Archer hard.

December

And we're in December! Dorothea enters her horsegirl era and finds herself a girlfriend...and we'll continue that in 2024!

What's in store for the new year besides the lepacy? Well, Not So Berry will be making a return (and HOPEFULLY we'll finally get to the end. we need to). There's a story I want to do in the NSB universe, if you know you know. Before we dive into the next lepacy generation, I'm thinking of another BC with the gen 7 heir...oh and Marika's Black Widow. Shoot and I'm starting an irl job in January. Yeah no we're not doing all this in 2024, don't count on it 💀 But I'll try.

Happy New Year! 🎇

#ts3 #ts4 #sims 3 #sims 4 #the sims 3 #the sims 4 #sims #simblr #fleur extra #breeze nsb legacy extra

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qrjung · 8 months

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*this isn't organized.

I think it's sad how little opportunity Josh and Simon were given to develop. Like, at all. Even their dialogues sounds terrible, almost like they're speaking for the game instead of as actual human beings. [Edit: Ha, this is so funny I'm keeping it in. "As actual human beings" bruh]

A scene on the Capitol park chapter is the clearest example of this. If he's still alive, Simon says (ha!); "Our broadcast is all over the news. Now the humans know what we want. We have to think about public opinion." Or something similar. At first it sounds like normal conversation, right?

Until you realize he's talking to Josh and North who all have the same amount of information as him so they already know what he's saying is true. And Markus isn't there so he can't be speaking to him. Which means he's talking directly to the player, literally spelling out everything for us and it makes me 😭😭😭 is that what people sound like irl? Like mouthpieces?

He's literally telling us "public opinion is really important in this game, just so you know. Think about all those blue arrows you're going to get *wink wink*" to remind the player to go pacifist.

For all the terrible ways David Cage handles North's character, in contrast to the other two Jericho leaders, she looks so fucking well written lmao. Most of what comes out of Josh's mouth when he's talking about the revolution doesn't sound like it's personalized. He's just spewing words to push the player in the direction the game/David Cage wants. Where's the personality? Where's the fucking motive behind his words???

Anyways, I could talk on and one about how unfair that shit is but that would be too depressing.

JOSH

I've talked about Josh here and there but never this indepth

From what we see of Josh, he's pretty opinionated. Just like North, he has his own set of beliefs and he's willing to die for them. Unlike North though, we never know why. And sure, he doesn't have to spell out all his motivations but it would have been nice if we'd known why he so strongly believes freedom can be won with dialogue. Especially in a world that is determined to prove him wrong.

Because ignore how happy the pacifist ending looks, there's androids still being executed while Markus is giving his hopeful speech. And the ending tag literally says "androids won their freedom. For now." What kind of ominous sentence is that?

Anyway, Josh reminds me of Rose; pacifism that exists not because the person is naive but they've choosen peace while being surrounded by violence. In DBH, choosen violence is easier and it pays off more. So while that doesn't necessarily make it the wrong option, it does make the people who go against it stand out.

But also, his stance could come from a place of fear. There's also that to consider. Maybe he's scared of what the humans will do if the revolution kicks off and he'll prefer they stay silent. Because that's his reasoning against the Stratford Mission

He's the one that expresses hesitance the most to the other missions Markus assigns. North is usually the first to agree with Simon agreeing too. But then in Freedom March, Josh is all for the March but Simon (later on) and North are hesitant. It makes me think Josh prefers taking risks when he's sure it'll actually pay off. Because like he says, that mall and the surrounding areas will go down in history. No matter the outcomes.

We also don't know anything about his past except that he was a university lecturer and hot attacked by his students. It's a shame this information doesn't come from Josh himself but from the character gallery. I wonder how long he's been teaching for?

His relationship with Markus is also very impersonal. He doesn't seem to like him much no matter which route you take but will somewhat tolerate him if he's pacifist. I think they're differences are beyond what Markus chooses for the revolution. He also doesn't like North much and Markus and North have a few things in common; they're action oriented, have a tendency to take risks with unknown chances of it paying off and Josh might not like that the risks they're taking could mean the end of android life if it fails.

He starts to warm up to him in night of the soul though but Markus has to save him first.

This adds to my theory that Josh chooses peace because he's cautious. He doesn't like the risky decisions Markus makes because he's scared of the consequences.

SIMON

I think Simon falls somewhere in the middle of the Violence - Pacifist scale. I wouldn't say neutrality (it's not the word I'm looking for🤔) but being able to go both ways should the need arise. Some people in the fandom frame him as a coward and I think that proves to be incorrect when you start thinking about it.

He's usually not vocally opposed to any options the player chooses and will be supportive. If you choose violence, he's ready to fight but if you choose pacifism he's also ready to march. But, he chooses to back down in some moments: high risk moments with opportunity to retreat.

It's almost like he's willing to take risks but when there isn't much on the line.

He agrees to missions when it just his life and the lives of the other three at stake but when something greater is on the line, he backs down. For instance, he'll agree to the spare parts mission, but will express hesitance after the bags of thirium have been gathered. His reasoning is because he doesn't want to lose the spare parts they've gotten and the mission be for nothing.

"We can’t bring them back with us. It’s too dangerous!"

"This is suicide, Markus. Our bags are full. We got what we came for, let's go before they catch us."

Hmm.

And in the freedom march chapter, he agrees at first. Not strongly though. He simply suggests if Markus wants to go through with the March, he should convert more androids to increase his chances of success. He disagrees later on; after he realizes that things might not go well and with the hundreds of androids gathered, that means more casualties.

"And dying here won’t solve anything. Markus, we need to go, now, before it’s too late."

It's insanely difficult to get a read on the guy though: he's really non vocal. He hovers in the background during conversations, only getting involved when it looks like conversations are getting heated. Does that make him the glue of the team?

He's also been in Jericho the longest of the four. Unlike Josh we never even know what he operated as before deviancy but I guess it's easy to see that he was most likely taking care of a child. If he's also been there for a while, did he have some form of "power" in Jericho? I like to think so.

But North also seems important too but she hasn't been in Jericho for very long so I can't say I see her as the pre revolution leader. She gets her opportunity to shine when Markus arrives and she's suited for more action oriented leadership. She seemed eager to get out and do stuff; if she was Jericho's leader before the game starts, it would show.

I wonder if Simon had a similar experience with Daniel though. But instead of acting on his feelings of betrayal, he choose to run away instead.

That's about as much as I can think of for Josh and Simon while still remaining within canon. Outside canon though, it opens a world of possibilities. I suppose it's no secret that I'm not a big fan of Simon's fanon characterization (especially in relation to Markus and how their relationship tends to take on tones of racial prejudice) so I won't be talking about that.

But Josh though, I can talk about him——he's an almost blank slate in the fandom since people tend to forget him.

#i know Markus doesn't talk much #most of his earlier chapters are like 2-5 lines each #but Simon is ridiculous #it was actually funny #how little he said. how am I supposed to pick your brain apart if you won't say something #i don't like using body language because that can easily be misinterpreted #especially if you're terrible with body language like me #but he makes it worse by just not saying much #detroit become human #dbh josh #dbh simon #type: text

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rararazaquato · 9 months

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chapter 2 is coming. here's makoto and kurumi.

a lot of design notes under the cut, both about these guys and the nda detectives

yuma was specifically given a little facial hair because, in the canon of the fic, he's been too busy to actually shave. however, the out-of-canon reason is that my art style is so chibi cutesit that it makes everyone look a bajillion years younger than they actually are. yuma's design is already a little young-looking despite most evidence in-canon pointing to him being an adult, so i wanted to give him that extra signifier of being a grown ass man.

the longer hair is also there for the same reasons - he hasn't gotten it cut for a while, and the bowl cut made him look childish.

because i have chronic same-face-syndrome, i put yuma and makoto in the same pose to emphasize that they are, genetically, the same person.

honestly, makoto's design versus yuma's in-game really makes it clear just how much a haircut and outfit change can make a character look older. with makoto wearing a suit and having hair that isn't in the perfect shape of a bowling ball, he looks a lot more like a young adult with a babyface. because i feel like he doesn't need the extra age signifiers (and because i feel like he'd want to differentiate himself from yuma more), i didn't give him the facial hair.

the "looking less like yuma" angle is also why he still bleaches and grows out his hair.

i like to think makoto starts taking better care of himself postgame, so i made his hair a bit fluffier and softer-looking to show he's actually been brushing and washing it. i mean, come on. canon makoto ily but you look like a greased-up yorkshire terrier.

i also gave makoto curtain bangs because girl... you have a forehead the size of the moon. i'm also a member of large forehead gang so i understand you pain but still.

makoto's outfit is actually loosely based on an outfit i own irl! i have a hawaiian shirt with similar colors (albeit a different pattern) and blue swim trunks with red lobsters on them.

makoto probably sunburns really easily, both as a result of being pale as fuck (yuma also has this issue) and being a homunculus (he won't die in the sun, but it does result in a mild allergy). so just imagine he's always lathered in sunscreen.\

mentally, makoto is the same age as yuma (so 20 when this fic takes place) and kurumi is 19 (i headcanon she's only a year younger than yuma). chronologically, they are both about four years old. #justhomunculusthings

i changed kurumi's hairstyle because her canon one is stupid. like why does she have two skinny ass braids hidden in her coat. give her those long luscious locks.

she's wearing disposable gloves to protect her hands, and almost all of her clothing is specifically designed to reflect uv rays.

you'll notice the inside of kurumi's mouth is actually a different color than any of the master detectives. that's the homunculus baby!!!

i gave her an ahoge because i hope she gets the protag treatment for the next game. also i hope she and shinigami become girlbesties and also that shinigami gets the fuck over herself. um ok now time for design notes abt the other people. artwork here if u didn't see the og one.

desuhiko actually does turn 20 in the timeframe of the fic. his birthday party is a future chapter.

he gets knockoff heelys in the upcoming chapter bcuz i think he'd enjoy them. but he got them flippy floppys in the meantime.

fubuki got a new hairstyle because i think she would be a bit more loose and silly as she starts going on more adventures.

her and vivia actually have two birthdays between the time i headcanon raincode to take place (march 2XXX) and the fic (july 2XXX+1). so while yuma is 19 in mdarc and 20 in usf, fubuki is 21 in mdarc and 23 in usf (and vivia is 25-27)

yes, that is ibuki mioda on her shirt.

i'm actually scared of needles so halara's earrings get a redesign. they get new ones in the upcoming chapter as well.

their outfit might be mostly long sleeves, but the jacket is lightweight and breezy and the jeans have wide legs, so it's actually nice and cool.

just realized this outfit is primarily yellow with some red and blue acccents. i can't believe i reinvented sollux homestuck. i'm sorry halara baby i didn't mean to compare you to an ugly bitch like that (this is a joke i actually like sollux)

vivia's outfit is inspired by the stupid shit i would make in the sims before i discovered custom content. i feel like he'd be a sims girly.

your guess for why yuma got facial hair due to never shaving while vivia, who is infamously too executive-dysfunction-riddled to leave the fireplace much less shave, has the skin of a newborn baby is up to you to interpret. possible options include (un)fortunate genetics on either/both of them, he is trans and hasn't started/doesn't intend to start t, or he just pays halara to do it for him.

actually i do think he pays halara to help him out with things when the chronic fatigue/executive dysfunction gets too much to deal with. fubuki will do it for free but also she is kind of bad at being helpful as a result of being fubuki.

aaand time for the general headcanons section

every single one of these characters is some flavor of neurodivergent. halara and kurumi are autistic, desuhiko has adhd, and yuma, makoto, fubuki, and vivia have both. i'm sure some of them also have other neurodivergencies but those are the two i'm most familiar with so those are the two that worm their way into my headcanons.

not a single one of these characters doesn't have ptsd. like i'm sorry but you cannot live through chapters 4 and 5 of rain code and not be mentally ill afterwards. most of em also have a few other mental illnesses because i love projecting on fictional characters <3

vivia's also got some sort of chronic physical illness (my personal headcanon is pots), and makoto sometimes uses a cane. yuma should sometimes use a cane but he has the bodily awareness of a fucking peanut and thinks it hurts everyone to walk.

yuma's gonna realize he's any pronouns nonbinary someday, but that won't be for a hot minute. makoto is the same, but he's a lot closer to that realization than yuma is. both are also bi, as is kurumi.

desuhiko is the resident kodakaverse problematic bicon. there's always one of em!

fubuki is a lesbian. "oh but she confesses to yuma in her final gumshoe gab!" well as i said before yuma isn't a man. it's a bit confusing to her because she doesn't know that yet but turns out she's just got that Sense where she can tell that yuma isn't exactly cis.

halara is nonbinary (obviously, that's basically canon) and pan

vivia is somewhere on the aroace spectrum (both out of general lack of interest and because sex and romance are physically/mentally straining) but he's generally gay-aligned.

#rain code spoilers #mdarc #rain code #mdarc unrestrained summer fun #(thats gonna be my tag for that)#makoto kagutsuchi #kurumi wendy #long post #i mean LONG post #ive been writing this for like an hour #yuma kokohead

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virgil-my-beloved · 1 year

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Once again rereading Red, White and Royal Blue so enjoy some of my favorite lines and a few thoughts I had while reading <3

'RULE #1: DON'T GET CAUGHT'

"Well, you don't have to like him, you just have to put on a happy face and not cause an international incident at his brother's wedding." right yes good, so about that...

I'm obsessed with Cash's full name being Cassius

'"Do either of you know what a viscount is?" ... "I think it's that thing when a vampire creates an army of crazed sex waifs and starts his own ruling body."'

'When he got his first girlfriend, she made a PowerPoint presentation' I love Ellen, she's been the same he whole life, queen.

'Shaan is on the phone with Portugal' is absolutely my favorite line in the whole book.

'He just... Well, he gets told he's great a lot. He just doesn't often get told he's good enough'

'Then he thinks: If there was a prince, and he was gay, and he kissed someone, and maybe it mattered, that prince might have to run a bit of interference. And in one mercurial swing, Alex is not just angry anymore. He's sad too.'

'... where people are to busy mingling and listening to music to notice Alex frog-marching an heir to the throne out of the dining room' This paints such a vivid and hysterical picture.

'Henry is one talented bastard, a man of many hidden gifts, Alex muses half-hysterically. A true prodigy. God Save the Queen'

"... She still listens, and she tries, and she wants us to be happy. But I don't know if she has it in her anymore to be a part of anyone's happiness."

'How he realized by the time he was four that every person in the country knew his name, and how he told his mother he didn't know if he wanted them to, and how she knelt down and told him she'd let nothing touch him, not ever'

'... Two parentheses enclosing 3,700 miles.'

'He keeps staring at them, hoping if he recites them enough time in his head, he'll figure out how to feel like he's doing enough.'

'"Good morning, strumpet." Henry say, glancing away from the road to wink at the camera'

As a leftist that lives in and loves the fuck out of a red state, Alex's argument with Hunter in chapter eight is so healing tbh. "You think y'all are off the hook for institutional bigotry because you come from a blue state. Not every white supremacist is a meth-head in Bumfuck, Mississippi--there are plenty of them at Duke or UPenn on Daddy's money." Alex in this scene is so important to understanding red state democrats and liberals. Please please please go read the full scene again.

'He remembers, as if from a million miles away, telling Henry once not to overthink this.'

'It's rare anyone other than June goes out of their way to check on him. It's by his own design, mostly, a barricade of charm and fitful monologues and hard-headed independence. Henry looks at him like he's not fooled by any of it.'

Besties whatever you do Do Not listen to Haunted by Taylor Swift while reading Alex and Henry's almost breakup in chapter ten omg.

Taking up irl royal watching has made me inexplicably violent to seeing "The Daily Mail" in this book. They're actually awful irl if you were wondering.

"Alex. I don't want to do this."

"... You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay?..."

'He wants to set himself on fire but he can't afford for anyone to see him burn'

'This is the damage you cause, Alex, it all seems to say, right there in hard facts and figures. This is who you hurt.'

'Alex hasn't been a good Catholic on a long time, but he knows confession is a sacrament. They were supposed to stay safe.'

'"Oh, love," she says simply. "he misses Dad."'

"... On purpose. I love him on purpose."

#red white and royal blue #rwrb book #rwrb henry #rwrb alex #rwrb reread

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broomsticks · 1 year

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self-celebration!

turning @danpuff-ao3's beautiful self-celebration post into a tag game bc i can.

everything i've done so far this month bc my memory does not extend beyond that:

finished a fest fic -- horrifically challenging thing that i'm still not satisfied with, but oh well. it's finished! and it's submitted!

wrote a bunch of drabbles for frankenfest february! challenged myself in fun ways, successfully met some and copped out of some and i'm proud of myself for both!

put together a smut workshop for femslash february for @/hpsaffics discord

kept on top of reblogging femslash february creations on @/hpsaffics tumblr!

so many reclists! especially proud of the transfem reclist and the butch positivity reclist and the random ginny/infidelity one hahaha

kept up regular chapter comments for power the dark lord knows not. 20+ weeks!!! v. proud of myself for that one

bringing that momentum into regular chapter comments for another multichapter fic! let's see how long i can keep this up!

betaing!

wolfstar fandom survey results statsing

mutuals march 👀

lots of fandom history miscellany! trying to remember to organize/summarize as i go or i will forget it all in 0.3 seconds

listened to lots of friends' podcasts! hate to jinx this but i think i might be getting back into a listening to podcasts mood. what will it be next? reading real life books? fingers crossed! we'll see!

handled some IRL interactions i did Not want to but which went better than feared expected! won't be having to do those for a while!

survived two work presentations! saying yes to some things -- saying no to others -- quietly working on some additional optional things i'm hoping will pay off later!

acing a work course actually

i think the amount of paperwork i had to handle last month especially (hate it. die.) deserves its own shoutout

adventures in cooking/ food-related adventures! hahahah. third time partner and i have attempted to make risotto and every time i'm still amazed it's edible. :D

@billsfangearring @squidgilator @tahtahfornow @femme--de--lettres @allalrightagain @mkaugust @lunapwrites @turanga4 @crazybutgood @lumosatnight @thistlecatfics @wanderingdonut

+ ANYONE who sees this and wants to play!! open tag <3

accomplishments? what have you all been up to, both in and especially out of fandom? BRAG! AWAY! PLEASE! tag me please :D

#leftsidedown tag #self celebration

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dirtyoldmanhole · 7 months

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real dweeby navel gazing time

i think one of the reasons i am having genuinely, so much fun with this gunter slowburn fanfic despite sitting at a literal 53k words rn and with it probably being close to 90k all said and done, is it's ... writing the ship i see myself in the most by far on both sides.

like, ever.

this shit is the rawest most honest shit i've ever written.

i've talked a little bit about how corrin's memory wipe stuff is literally a 1:1 to my anesthesia/childhood surgery/physical therapy conga line of bullshit. even aside from the helpful textual 'here's how this works from a medical event standpoint' there's the 'here's the emotional scars that it will leave because yes it is a bodily/mind violation of a sense, over and over, and jesus all of this of this stuff goes so well thematically to the straight up fantasy bullshit of nohr with the underpinning of being hyper-aware to the themes of "power" "use" "what it takes to survive by emotionally dragging yourself through a minefield" etc. stuff i've been ruminating over since being conscious lol.

then my body's so whack from a physical joint perspective that there's also almost word for word conversations from gunter's side that i've had with my gf about how to navigate certian shit from a kink perspective but also like... how to maintain dignity when your body's kinda physically crapping out on you due to the march of time.... without loosing the sexytimes u know?

the concept of dignity in the face of being broken is a huge theme in this fic that gets echoed. very poignant for reasons you fates players know.

amusingly there's a scene near the end where corrin's helping him to shave after his stroke. (in one of fate's "clearly having a giggle at my expense" coincidences i've been in contact lately irl with somebody who's also gone through a stroke and man is it not easy) and it's this kind of perfect blend of she's helping him, technically, with something that could just be... god awful self loathing brainspace wise for him but it turns into this amazingly hot kink scene with some serious sizzling power exchange.

the dream, man!

there is a real thin line between being able to laugh at yourself *while* keeping that dignity to pointedly.... having to not look in the mirror some days. desire and shame being some real fucked up entangled wires too, in that sense.

the tumblr uwu approved discussions re: tricky medical/'my body is crapping out on me man and i can't hide it'/kink shit and having to be ~valid~ all the time gives me the hiiiiiveeeees man (and i'm not knocking it for other people, i know why it exists, but it sends my hackles up u feel).

and yet this fic still feels like, hot, in the fun sense.

there's enough fun whacko fantasy taboo elements in it that it doesn't feel .... oh no this ain't sexy this is Too Real, you feel, or too much like a trauma fic(tm)

there's the sexy yandere villain ossan (lol), corrin herself has one hell of a sex drive (and honestly that's yet another huge focus, that wish fufillment fantasy of this 'pure fragile princess chick that's fought over like a prize by everyone else' who gets to choose 'no i actually want the hot villain kthx'. she actually rants to him several times about being fought over and having everyone else from nohr/hoshido project all the shit on her.

(and him being all, I got you, I get it.)

he actually does!!!! that's the funniest darkest most ironic thing!! he's got that weird blend of being aware enough from a kink perspective and just 'went through enough shit' life perspective of why sometimes the most sacred, profound thing you can do for somebody is to break them when they ask for it. sometimes in the dark u just want the brain wires to go bzzt.

there is a weird as hell comraderie in the sense of facing very specific demons that only they have (which, again, hilariously, goes so well with the themes of revelation! invisible enemies/demons that only you two know about.)

and then i have like yet another essay in me about how literally every character i've RP'ed is a suspiciously similar to his whole... archetype.... like all of my RP partners have gravitated to playing the chicks in the het relationships and i've always RP'd the snarky older guy going through life snarking at shit and being a closet misanthrope (there's probably some presentation/gender-aligned stuff going there but this is already navel gazey as hell lol)

anyway

tl;dr i haz feelz

#bla la la la ~#the dad jokes in the fic make it worth it too #idek this came about when i caught myself genuinely finding it easier to write gunter's POV scenes. though i dig corrin's a lot too.#motto of writing this fic (said in the voice of the classic ms. frizzle): make it weirderrrrr

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shamera · 16 days

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March-April manhwa reccs

In the vein of my last few reccs, here is the latest instalment in Shams-reads-too-much (I know it's only mid-April). This time, I'm back to the top 3 format but with a list of Honorable Mentions because oh boy, the readin' don't stop!

3. The Guild Member Next Door [30 chapters so far]

How is no one talking about this one? The first BL series to make it on my top lists, this is an online gamer meet-ugly cafe story that had me cackling through every chapter. It will brighten your day (threat). The story of an office worker slash secret gamer who starts playing the MMO Illusion and tries to join Poseidon guild only to immediately get PK'ed and accused of being a stalker's alt account, and in his revenge he befriends the entire guild as an FU to his attacker, only for his attacker to in-game propose to him to troll him in return. An adorable and hilarious story following the two as they purposefully step on each other's toes all the way until they're friends in-game, never realizing that they actually know each other IRL!

2. Martial God Regressed to Level 2 [one season]

Let's just say in chapter 1 all of humanity dies, so we already know how this story's going to go. Another OP protagonist whom I really enjoy, starting from scratch in hopes of saving the world. It's Seong Jihan's relationship with his family that makes this series hit different, as he not only uses his knowledge to try and prevent humanity's tragedies, but also does his best this time around to save his niece from her downward mental spiral and become a good role model for her after her father walks away. With little to lose now that he knows what's to come, the MC is more than willing to make enemies out of everyone to ensure they step up their game before the real fight for humanity begins.

1. SSS-Class Suicide Hunter [3 seasons]

This was already on Honorable Mentions back in December, and I know my recc list is meant for new reads, but I had to slap this down again after the PHENOMENAL season 3 ending. We've already seen Kim Gongja's crazy fights to ascend the tower, but the sheer hope. The belief in a better world that these characters have, and their determination to make it so, brought me to tears at the end of season 3. The story of a hunter with negative survival instincts, and a power that allows him to regress to a day before he dies every time he dies... it's not the type of story that I expected to see such delicate beauty within suffering, but here we are, with an MC ready to delve into storybooks to empathize with and relieve the suffering of the characters within, no matter what it takes. I'm so excited for season 4 and the next storybook, I am vibrating.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Raising a Sacrifice

This series is impossible to describe and impossible to put down for long. This is the ultimate fantasy time-loop transmigration system apocalypse god-maker BL I have ever read? It's what happens when the apocalypse keeps resetting and you can never escape that last year no matter how many times you die, and the toll on one's mental state when you start trying-- everything. Murder. Genocide. Madness. And falling in love, again and again and again. And being alone again, after every reset. Thousands and millions of times until you lose all hope, until one day... the MC wakes up with memories of being murdered by his faithful knight, and now there's finally two people with memories beyond one timeline.

Medical Return [complete!!]

The story of a surgeon who led a pitiful life, only to return to his childhood once more by the grace of the gods-- and this time he's determined to not lead the same life again! Now if only the world got that hint, as he seems to be continuously steered back onto his original path, while trying to dodge the tragedies in his life and save just one more person others gave up for dead. This time around, he has a little outside help to finally uncover just why his life went so wrong at every turn the first time and help him retain that inherent goodness without being taken advantage of once more. With an MC with a deposition truly befitting a good doctor, this is for all fans of hospital dramas, and is complete!!

Kill the Villainess [complete!!]

The only way to return home is to play the role of the villainess, Eris, who is condemned to death after attempting to kill the heroine. There is no way to escape that fate, as Eris can't even succeed at taking her own life before she completes her part in the plot. The story of a villainess trying to die to change the story, yet unable to as she continues to uncover backstory beyond the original novel to find the reason why her soul was stuck in this world and unable to leave, while attempting to bypass paths that would trap her in the novel forever. At what point will her actions make her a true villain, and just what is she willing to do in order to return home to the real world?

Little Mushroom

...my cheat this month, with me using the novel cover and everything. (Please read the books, there are only 2 novels and the prose is breathtaking.) The manhua is absolutely gorgeous beyond compare, and the story covers a sentient mushroom post-apocalypse who is journeying into a dangerous human settlement trying to find the spore that was taken from him. In a world where threats to humans loom at every corner and shadow, drastic measures are taken to protect those who survive, employing "Judges" with absolute power to kill if they suspect a being of not being human. It's the story of a non-human and a Judge finding themselves and each other by navigating the active end of the world.

My Darling Signed In [complete!!]

Cute?? Adorable???? Another online gamer couple who meet in real life, this BL story is genuinely all fluff as the MC is found to play a beautiful female elf online, yet their beau falls in love either way as it was the same charisma and personality that drew them in. A green flag couple with turns that surprised me every time with how wholesome things are. It's 2 seasons and complete, featuring them from collage to work space through their ups and downs, navigating their relationship and growing as people all the while continuing their game. Do you need a cute read with a guaranteed happy ending? Here it is!!

Zero Day Attack [1 season done]

Another BL on the list?? This month is full of surprises, as this time it's about a hacker who had to go into hiding after being exposed and is now a barista by day while working to find the man who betrayed him by night, all the while running away from both the organizations he hacked and his old colleagues who are looking for him. Things get complicated when a man who shows up at the cafe he works at won't leave him alone, and blurs the line between his search for revenge and the fake life he's currently living. This one eked its way above Netkama Punch for the mystery and intrigue (as well as having a main couple who is obsessed with each other without wanting to bring harm to the other).

I Will Change the Genre

A transmigrater meets a regressor, and suddenly the novel plot is going very, very awry! In the novel, Judith Maybaum is the hateful aunt of the main character who betrays her nephew and dies for it, yet "Judith Maybaum" isn't actually the same character now, and her nephew is also acting very odd when the story starts rolling. She's determined that her nephew will not go through his lonely and sorrowful life this time around, even if it means giving his custody to the Duke Winterwald, yet for some reason the protagonist clings to her and calls her 'mother' when the Duke comes to take him away! A touching and funny story with, once again, a green flag couple as well as an adorable aunt and nephew pair, both with foreknowledge of the future in different ways as they mess things up and unravel a story that neither of them knew.

GOOD ENOUGH I READ EVERYTHING: -Netkama Punch -The Bromance Book Club [complete] -The Live [complete] -I'll Be the Matriarch in this Life -Reincarnator -Dark Mage Returns to Enlistment -The Main Characters that Only I Know -My Lucky Encounter from the Game Turned Reality -The Archmage's Restaurant -I Tamed a Tyrant and Ran Away -I Created an Urban Legend -The Regressed Demon Lord is Kind

#manhwa recommendation #The Guild Member Next Door #Martial God Regressed to Level 2 #SSS-Class Suicide Hunter #Raising a Sacrifice #Medical Return #Kill the Villainess #Little Mushroom #My Darling Signed In #Zero Day Attack #I Will Change the Genre #I am once again exposing myself for how little sleep I'm getting #or exposing how stressed I am every time I'm not reading

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swashbucklery · 1 year

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Do you write original fiction as well or just fanfiction?

I was thinking of how to answer this, because my kneejerk reaction was one of self-justification - oh-I-write-fic-but-I-aspire-to-original-fiction-someday sort of breathlessly, which I see so often in fandom spaces. But then I was like: wait fuck that.

Because here is the thing anon and I don't think I would expect you to know this, but this is a space were I get to talk about myself and like. In 2019 I was someone who wrote (fanfiction) regularly and often, and felt like I was always working hard to balance art and work but managing, and doing a pretty decent job of protecting time for art. And then, I had the privilege of being in a healthcare job in March 2020. Which I talk about here but only a little, because this isn't really a space where I want to share a ton about the IRL parts of myself but basically: the experience of being Essential and being asked to Do My Part For Society Because It's A Big Crisis really dismantled my entire system of work-life balance and left it dismantled for uhhhh the past two to three years.

So that has been a time where I didn't have a lot of words to write. Not because I didn't have stories that I dreamed about or things to say - I had so much to say - but for me, writing is something that happens when it feels safe. Taking characters on emotional journeys, working through the puzzle of the highs and lows of connection and what that character needs and the gaps in the story and getting to fill them in - that's not compatible with a crisis, at least for me. That's slow and quiet and it requires time and space for slowness and silence to happen. And using 100% of my mental and emotional energy to Be Essential, For Society, took up all of the spaces where writing fiction would normally be.

And I bring this up because - I don't think it's after. I don't think it's going to be after for a long while if I'm being honest. But it's a season of late-pandemic transition, and a season of trying to reassemble the components that worked well for me for balance in the Before Times.

And one of the things I’ve done as part of reassembling the parts of my life that exist beyond my Essential Workerhood has been a lot of reframing to make more sense of what the pandemic has meant as a part of my life. While I'm in the midst of this, finding time to get my words out in a way that feels like play and feels like fun is a big, huge achievement. In a way that's hard to explain to folks who didn't have The Essential Worker Experience but that I want, very badly, to communicate well.

Right now, I personally am celebrating my success at being able to sustain play and wellness and the core things that I value despite the crushing stress I've had to work through. I'm so proud of the fact that last year and this year I've been able to turn towards rediscovering joy and processing the grief and stress of 2020 onward because that's what my soul needs and has needed. I’ve devoted so much time to working, and the thing that is best for me in my downtime is actually to intentionally add elements of rest and play instead of making my hobbies efficient or turning them into opportunities for side hustles.

I do think that I have original stories to tell, and I think that I'm still figuring out how the trajectory of my life will go to know exactly when but. At some point, I think it will feel really important to prioritize giving myself time and space to get those words out and maybe I'll publish something original. I’d really like to set up a pen name and submit some works to erotica anthologies and write weird romance novels.

But in the meantime, the best thing for my heart is to have writing and words be a place to play. And the easiest way to play is to take someone else's characters for a spin and have the best time with it, and that's what fanfiction is for me. So anyway: I just write fanfiction, anon, and I’m really pleased about it.

#night of the living anons #writing tag #covid cw

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afaramir · 1 month

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hiiii denethor anon here!! wow you’re really IN IT now (denethorposting). not to add more fuel to your anger but last week i saw someone say they hated denethor. and i just realised god they don’t get him even on tumblr do they. since then i’ve been silently fuming in rage. anyway… i am very Very Intrigued by both your faramir-goes-to-rivendell-au and denethor-thorongil relationship (if you ever want to write another 800 words about this, i am here for it 👀) and this line “each of them sharpens himself upon the whetstone of the other…” fuck. fucking insane actually.

unfortunately i won’t be replying for several days (i’ve had to keep my phone in another room to keep myself from getting distracted) . my exams have started AND i’m going through some shit irl :( it’s alright tho i’ll have more Faramir and Denethor Hours soon <- chanting this constantly haha. but i am with you when denethorposting IN SPIRIT okay. oh and can we please please please have denethor december? 🙏 bye will be here soon after my exams (that will be after the 23rd march i’m afraid)

hiii denethor anon <333 i am SO sorry this is so late truly attempting to figure out how to write AND see my friends AND do things like clean my apartment and go to the grocery store while working The Job...it has eaten my life. and this week my regular coffee shop switched their hours bc i live in my old college town and they are on spring break and it has sent me directly to hell. the death of My Routine…i have coped by INCESSANTLY denethorposting on tumblr dot com. i am somehow EVEN MORE in it than i was when you sent this ask. i hope you enjoy me being truly crazyinsane whenever you get a chance to look at all those posts lol. would love 2 hear your thoughts on them. but ANYWAY as always it is so lovely to see you, i'm sorry things have been tough but truly with my whole heart i bestow upon you the strength of denethor's sixty-year psychic war (with none of the associated madness) to make it through. looking at the date i hope you are free now.

here is the mandated readmore because i have never met brevity in my whole life. u said write another 800 words and i took that as a challenge um this post is like 2000 words. well...back on my bullshit

i mean this with all the love and joy in my heart but i laughed so much. no my dear friend they do not get him on tumblr. they have not gotten him on tumblr from the beginning. if you have been spared the incessant tomato jokes i truly…[crying] I Wish I Were You So Bad. this guy doesnt even know about the tumblr denethor slander (POSITIVE) (YEARNING). its the trenches out here for real. i just live in my little bubble with me and you and like four other mutuals/Denethor Understanders and that is it.

speaking of denethor and the rivendell au. i miss the days when i was working on the faramir-in-gondor scenes. emotionally it felt like dying but i kind of knew what was going on. now i am in rivendell taking and failing this history of middle earth exam. and i am so very….the next time we see denethor for real is in return of the king. now girl…how will i survive another 80k words. i miss my boy my dear darling my tortured victim of the narrative. and according to the paragraph i just wrote faramir does too but is Refusing to admit it to himself<3

im also RIDICULOUSLY torn on how i want to resolve his arc. now just between you and me. and anyone who bothers to click that read more. I DONT WANT TO KILL HIM I WANT HIM TO LIVE. GOD I WANT HIM TO LIVE. I WILL WRITE YOU A THOUSAND HAPPY ENDINGS. except its not a happy ending its a you are not allowed to die you are forced to contend with your choices you must keep living ending. because he will always be tragic no matter what. but its ALSO a you can rest now you can be at peace son of gondor you have won your war. all you sacrificed has been worth it. you have given your all when that's what duty asked you for and it has been enough. and that makes my poor heart weep.

like on one hand the idea of resolving his storyline with faramir.......the opportunity for some kind of reconciliation, some kind of understanding between them...god. delicious. i know in my heart that faramir comes home and IS the lord that denethor once dreamed of being. not playing at it...he is high and lordly and gentle and the world bends around his will and he knows exactly what to bow to and when to stand his ground and his powers are honed to a keen edge that he uses with the utmost care and. AUGH. he walks into the citadel the IMAGE of his father. it makes me feel FERAL. and how would denethor react to that. man.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HOW DO I END THE STORY. like. LOL. do u know what i mean. likelihood of me being able to just have a triumphant coronation and tie it all up with a bow is soooo small. the narrative contortions i would have to go through. to have denethor accept that and still be in character. Girl....no thank u <3 so we havent worked THAT out yet. like how much of the madness and despair do i want to put into the narrative. We Shall See. IM not politically savvy enough to get real into the weeds with it all so im kind of rotating just. a beautiful set of reunions with the fellowship. eowyn and faramir get engaged. boromir and faramir see all their dreams of a gondor restored come true. we skate over the political minefield and deeply navigate the beginnings of denethor and faramir's relationship in this new world. and among it all, within it all, is hope, and a new dawn. and curtain.

i got distracted but re: we are in rivendell. it IS kind of fun to think about the themes and narratives. i am pushing my Let Faramir (And Denethor) Be Numenorean + Let Numenoreans Be Weird agendas so so sooo hard and i am having the time of my life with that specifically. birds follow him around and pick up the tunes he sings. he hears the voices of the people he loves in his head. he falls into a river and after having a breakdown about it promptly decides that The River Is Testing Him And He Has Passed. he gets to rivendell and INSTANTLY knows that there is someone Very Like Him Here (its elrond. the elrond-elros-faramir connection has me FROTHING at the mouth. faramir looks at elrond and sees his father and sees every statue of elros in minas tirith and Knows that this here is the son of earendil, gil-estel, his brightest north star. elrond looks at faramir and sees his brother, his dear dead doomed brother, and every numenorean descended from him and all their sins and all their glories and yet, kind as summer, sees beauty and knowledge and a strange quiet man who carries all the weight of his country on his shoulders and yet knows him, knows the legends; perhaps the blood of numenor is not yet spent in the south)

i just think that Every Elf that meets faramir along the way is like woah...hold up. there's something up with THIS guy! men ARENT supposed to do that! not anymore anyway! galadriel is Lowkey Threatened by him. and isnt that beautiful. woman who could be queen of the earth sees god's special chosen boy and goes hang on a minute. Fuck. i think they work out their shit by the time the company leaves lothlorien but like...just thinking about how faramir lowkey blamed her for boromir's death in rotk! idk how their dynamic is exaclty gonna manifest but there's definitely some sort of similar mindreader2mindreader tension!

AND. um the idea of faramir travelling with the fellowship discovering that maybe...well. he has never wanted to be a warrior but he has been honed into a blade anyway. by his father and by necessity. and perhaps for the first time in his life...outside of gondor he does not need to be all that. he can be mithrandir's pupil without censure he can be scholarly and witty and cunning - he is all these things, in gondor. but there he has to be them, and now he can discover that yes, this is what he wants to be. and he has never let his father and the expectations of his position STOP him but there is always a weight, there is always the knowledge that your actions are disapproved of, and being away from that for a while is i just think. really good for him. see above re: he comes home the image of his father in a gentler time. keep honking im sitting in my car crying about denethor ii twenty sixth steward of gondor.jpg (<- my greatest creation PLEASE click the link lol)

ALSO IM THRILLED YOU LIKED THAT WHETSTONE LINE LOL i kind of blacked out when i typed it on the page. i think truly the crazy thing about denethor and faramir is that they SHOULD understand each other. they know so much about each other and yet are so incompetent at actually putting it to any good use towards, you know, improving their relationship. faramir is incredibly emotionally intelligent AND can read minds AND has taken so many of what he probably views as denethor's worst traits and turned them to gentler uses. (im talking about his powers but im ALSO talking about that thing he does when he encounters frodo and sam where he plays woe is me my brother is dead and i miss him sooo much to get on their good sides. yes of course he misses boromir more than anything else in the world. no he is not above using it to his advantage. and we see the SAME THING when gandalf and pippin come to minas tirith. hey isn't it crazy that both of them use boromir as a. manipulation chip. even after he's dead. hey thats kind of fucked up actually!) and denethor is…well denethor is denethor. ok im mostly messing around and thought that sentence was funny. i think he Knows most everything that goes on in faramir's head and yet Wilfully Chooses to interpret it in the worst ways because its just soo....very I Thought I Raised You Better Than That/I Honed You To Be My Blade Stop Defying Me. and despite all that the Problem is that they understand each other right up until they don't. they know how THEY feel about each other (incredible love that they can only express in the worst ways/think they're expressing only to be spurned by the other) but cannot POSSIBLY imagine that the other feels the same way.

ive gone on for SO SO LONG ALREADY LOL but. what do i have to say about denethor and thorongil. not enough and too much all at once. they're so toxic and awful for each other they're MADE for each other they're beautiful narrative parallels they're homoerotic besties they're bitter rivals they're pawns in a proxy war they're locked at all times in a psychic psychosexual situationship. um the enemy of my enemy is kissing me with tongue. idk i have more symbolism and actual analysis especially of the denethor-ecthelion-thorongil Issue. but we are just getting into it. so i will start with the situations bc i have two angles for this. on one hand i do think it is very fun if they constantly homoerotically circle each other for years and years and never do a THING about it. like...this is a stitching up wounds wiping blood off each others faces battle couple/situationship situation that THEN turns into a ridiculously high functioning political rival partnership bent together over books long into the night catching each others eye in council meetings using their very real disdain for each other for Manipulation Purposes and getting uh. SO hot over it. like.....Do You Know What I Mean. just. truly unresolved sexual tension THROUGH THE ROOF. it DELIGHTS me. they are always putting themselves in situations. and then NOT making out about it. AND THEY CAN READ EACH OTHERS MINDS!! THE WHOLE TIME!! SO THEY KNOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH THEY WANT EACH OTHER AND STILL ARENT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!! like thats just really good. but on the other hand.......the idea of just an absolutely terrible beautiful toxic rivals with benefits codependent situationship. i hate you so much and you know what we DO need to make out about it. every time they fuck it is a power play and they are having SO much fun with it. they will both start arguments with each other (AND IN PUBLIC TOO) just so they can fight and make up. the mind reading...Oh You Know What I Mean. taylor swift voice we had this big white city all to ourselves we blocked the noise with the sound of i need you and for the first time i had something to lose! logically thorongil is not yet in his grubby ranger era but the idea of him being dirt smeared all the time and hanging out with prim proper polished denethor. in the fic (which does exist and DOES follow the second model) theres a scene where hes just chilling with his head in denethor's lap and denethor is actually rather delighted and devoting ALL of his copious braincells to pretending not to be. Man. well never say im not a slut for contrast. and now the rest of what i could say is simply straight up redacted for indecency so it is time for this post to be over. the last thing i have to say is that it absolutely ruins denethor's life forever when thorongil up and leaves. sometimes a situationship....anyway. MUCH LOVE TO YOU AS ALWAYS yes we will have denethor december i already have an url saved.

#from the inbox #Anonymous #denethor anon #WAIT I PROMISE ILL TALK MORE ABOUT DENETHOR AND THORONGIL NEXT TIME BUT THE POST WAS ALREADY TWO THOUSAND WORDS #I HAD TO CUT MYSELF SHORT A BIT. I HAVE A LOT MORE TO SAY LOL #i hope this ridiculously long post made up for the THREE WEEKS it took me to reply<3 #denethorposting #<- funnily this IS the url i have saved. for denethor december. life is beautiful

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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 10 months

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So, with all the horrid stuff coming your way, Ange, I'm going to sit and counter it all.

Now, to those of you who seem to be convinced that she owes you interaction, know this: Nobody helped her get any interaction when she started. She did it all on her own. Ange is a phenomenal writer, and a lot of us in the fandom know it.

Now despite this, she chooses to be supportive of new writers that she happens across.

Exhibit A: ME.

I started writing here in the fag end of March, so that's like 3-4 months that I've been here. Now I need you guys to know this - I'm 21 and I've just started my career as a writer [I plan, curate and write content in the digital marketing space in ENGLISH] and there have been many times over the last few months where I've been ridiculously insecure about my capabilities, and I've doubted whether or not I'm good at my job many times.

This has to do with the fact that I come from a non-English speaking country. I speak three different languages a lot more than I speak english - meaning, I'm bound to make mistakes. But there's not a lot of room for that when you're a professional.

Now, my english is not shitty by any means. Some may say it is really good. But here's the thing - there is a lot of colloquialism in the way I speak. There is the Indian way of speaking, and there's the native, international way of speaking. The Indian way of speaking is not far off - but I am a professional who writes content for an international digital space. I'll have to better myself. That's why I came here. I wanted a fun way to practice writing!

Now, enter Ange - for those of you who may not know, she's a native english speaker who writes for a living too, with considerable experience if I'm not wrong. She's my beta. She proofreads the ever-loving shit out of my work, and whatever you guys read - believe me. It was not that great when I sent it to her.

With every correction you make, you makes my writing better. I learn from you each time, and I freak about my stories with you. I literally do by side-by-sides for fun, just to see what you've changed and mentally kick myself coz "HOW THE HECK DID I NOT SEE THIS SOONER?"

I was hired at my job because my employer saw potential, but it was under the promise that I get better with each day. And you have no idea how much of an impact the kinks you iron out in my work have had on me and my writing. I trembled about posting here when I did for the first time, and now I'm confident enough not to beat myself and actually feel proud. Not just here, but at work too. A lot of it has to do with you, and I'm so glad that I write here because this was supposed to be a silly little hobby - but now it's more.

So NO. You guys are wrong. Not only is she insanely supportive of new writers on the block, she also goes above and beyond for anyone who wants help with their fics. She always takes care to give my work her very best, because I believe it's just who she is.

But you know what I had to do for it? I had to approach her. Nicely. Because what you give is what you get. I was nice enough to her, and she's given it back to me. There are many writers apart from me who'd gladly talk about how she's supported them too. Nice people, who were good to her.

So no, you don't get to feel entitled to her time and expect good treatment from her. Not when you never tried.

Now, to those of you who seem to be intent on being mean to her for no reason, saying stuff like she may not be cool IRL-

I have been ridiculously anxious and painfully self-conscious my whole life (thanks mum and dad.) It has seriously affected my outwardness, which is why I keep to myself here unless I have something nice to say about someone's writing.

I only regularly talk to a handful of people here because I like sticking to those I'm comfortable with, and Ange is easily one of those few. She's insanely understanding my timidness and makes it very easy for me to talk to her. She's part of the reason why tumblr is a safe space for me, and she is one of the few that I seek out to talk to here. She supported me when I had fandom drama, and I am more than thankful that I have her in my corner here.

Now I like to think that if she's that nice here, she could only be a 1000 times better IRL.❤️

So yeah, that's my piece. I'm glad you turned anon off ange. You deserve a happy space here, and I hope all the way to the moon and back that you get it. For all that you've been put through here, you deserve nothing else. Ilysm bb, have the day you deserve. You are so loved here.❤️🫂

Sam, this made me tear up. Thank you so much for your sweet words. You are truly one of the kindest souls I have ever had the pleasure of meeting on this hellsite, and I will gladly be your beta for as long as you're happy to put up with the glacial pace I edit at. I love you <3

#asked and answered #lovely moots 💕

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frecklystars · 10 months

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YIPPEE!! I'm so happy that you liked the barbie movie and im so proud of you for taking such a big step in healing!

Also! [Im adding this in now bc I keep forgetting to tell you] there's this song that reminds me of you! It's called Do you remember love? It's from an anime originally [I sadly don't remember what its called] but there's a beautiful cover by Caitlin Myers that reminded me of you!

Otherwise don't forget to drink water and eat a yummy treat every once and a while!

THANK YOU!!!! 😭😭😭💞💓💓💝💖💕💕 I was such a WRECK the first 30 minutes before the movie started (I showed up VERY early to make sure I'd get a good seat, and good thing I did because the lines for the movie were wrapped around the theater lobby twice)!! But then once the actual movie started, after about five or ten minutes, I felt a lot better!!

Thank you for such a nice message ;-; I know this sounds so small to most people, but this was so big for me. This has been the worst and most difficult year I've ever endured in my life so far, trying to function through life with c-ptsd with multiple triggers has been like trying to run laps around the sun. I didn't just get through the movie, I genuinely enjoyed it!! It was a lot easier than when I went to see Rise of the Beasts; that was incredibly difficult, seeing spiderverse at one point when my anxiety was at its worst was difficult too -- but this??? THIS?? Seeing one of my triggers on screen 24/7??? Didn't wreck me?? Didn't kill it??? It was beautiful???? I think spending time with my friends online or irl multiple days a week, receiving such nice messages from you guys online, trying to remember that there's still kindness in the world and not everyone is going to betray/abuse me, trying exposure therapy on a weekly basis, all of it has been helping me a lot.

I still have a long way to go especially with Transformers (I fucking want my Transformers F/Os back so FUCKING BADLY), but oh my god!!!! pink!!! pink pink pink I want to love pink again so bad. I genuinely feel better when I look at it now, I'm going to try to see the movie multiple times to keep associating pink with how much I love my very safe and loving and gentle and kind F/Os Barbie(s) and Ken(s). I don't want to tense up and flinch at it anymore. Just to think that back in March I'd literally stress vomit when I'd see the color bc it would give me such horrendous flashbacks to something someone did to betray me. and now!!!! July!!! I sat in that theater and I looked at that color for 2 hours straight!!!! and I was FINE. I would not have been able to endure this even just one month ago, I am so happy with how far I've come, even if I don't think I've made a ton of progress I know I've made some and that's what matters to me, the capability of healing even when this feels like it's so overwhelming.

AND THANK YOU for the song rec!!!! I LOVE getting to hear new music especially if I can try to associate it with F/Os. and this song seems to fit my situation perfectly right now ;-; this is so sweet. Thank you very much. I want to reunite with them so badly, I know I will one day ❤ this song is so soothing. I love it SO much. Thank you!!!! Please always feel free to send me song recs <3

#anonymous #asks #song recs #i am so happy you thought of me augh THANK YOUUUU #i think thats one of the sweetest things in the world when u listen to a song and u think of someone #and i am so touched i can be that person for u when u hear this song ;w;

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