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lovelybarnes · 1 year

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flustered- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader warnings: very flustered reader, not sure if i exaggerated it too much but i think i did im so sorry about: requested by the lovely stefi!! flustered reader basically lol part 2!

it’s one of those nice kind of days—where the sky is leadened with gloomy cotton balls and the heat of the sun is muted. the grass beneath you is fresh and smells of petrichor in anticipation of the rain, already cold between your fingers and needling through your jeans.

a breeze flutters your lashes, urging your eyes open and your hands to splay like a starfish into the ground. something else pricks at your skin, pulling your eyebrows together.

“hey,” someone says behind you. bucky, you realize.

“hi,” you respond automatically, lolling your head back to catch sight of him. he’s tall and solid and upside down when you blink up at him, eyes just as piercing as they observe you.

“it’s gonna rain,” he informs, stepping over to stand next to you. “y’gonna come back inside?”

“no,” you answer definitively, staring back up at the sky. “maybe when the lightning starts.”

“lightning?” he repeats, grunting when he lowers himself gracefully onto the ground. his knee pokes into your thigh, but he doesn’t move it away.

you go still, concentrating on not shifting weirdly. “it’s pretty, but it makes me nervous.”

“what if i stay out here with you?” he offers.

“what are you going to do against lightning?” you ask, laughing. “maybe if it were thor—”

his own laughter is rough, genuine. lightly, he nudges your shoulder. “punk.”

you grin, a little pleased and a little flustered. “what?”

“i’m offering my protection. super-soldier protection.”

“oh, i’m sorry,” you apologize. “i didn’t realize you guys could control weather.”

“you are…” bucky begins, searching for a word. “incorrigible,” he finishes, teasing.

you bark out a laugh, meeting his eyes. “incorrigible!”

he nods. “‘s okay, though. it’s part of your charm.”

bucky turns to observe your profile, silently scanning your features. your thumbnail goes to trace the nailbed of your index.

you clear your throat, watching the clouds as they roll in the sky. “thank you,” you reply. it comes out a little strangled.

bucky clearly hears it, but his eyes crinkle. he hums. “s’my pleasure. i get to talk to you and see you, y’know, be impossible.”

you nod, not sure when to stop. you’re still stuck on his previous compliment, like a thread caught on a hook and you can’t help but pull, let your sweater unravel green and greedy and coarse.

“i didn’t know that was a charm,” you start unsurely. “or that i had charms, more like.” it’s not smoothly said, a little halted in that you want to explain further, only encouraged to by the chaste curve of his lips, amused and patiently heartening. you urge him to silence you. “or charm? is it just charm, singular? i think of charms more like the bracelet things, but charm could encapsulate the entirety of the—” you crane your fingers and move your hands as if they’re cupping something large. “the idea. which i guess is what you mean and it implies a lot more than one, right?”

you’re rambling, you know.

bucky is grinning, though, purely amused and bastardly pleased. he nods along to your words as if he’s listening closely to each rise in your voice, paying attention to each word.

you clear your throat and attempt to relax your tense shoulders. you’re not uncomfortable, you remind yourself. your anxiety carries none of the unpleasantness associated with it, instead something so largely gracious and massively salubrious that it makes you slightly ditzy, spilling out like honey and sneaking into the cogs of your brain.

it makes the wheels stagger and slow, your mind lagging to dig up something more to say. so, you say: “i bet you were really charming back then. you know, because you were so popular? like steve and everyone says.”

bucky chuckles. “were, huh?”

you know he’s teasing. he’s only ever teasing, but you stammer to take it back. “are! are real charming! really charming. i mean—i meant that it was just, like, a lot back then. not that it isn’t anymore, just… just different?” you have to explain, having piqued his actual interest. “back then, it was smoother? from the way people talk about you, i can’t imagine it wasn’t something automatic. now it’s, it’s more deliberate, i think.”

you’ve been talking for so long.

“but, obviously it still works, right?”

he smiles something small, crinkling the edges of his eyes lightly and mischievously as if he’s caught you in something. “why do you say that?”

you shake your head as you look for a response. “uh…”

bucky decides to take pity on you, moving away from the topic to stretch his torso. a sliver of skin peeks from behind his shirt, gleaming and distracting as you try to look anywhere but there. you fail, obviously, your focus betraying you.

“you look real nice today, you know,” he says, a smidge more serious and totally sweeter.

you heat up immediately, ears burning as you squeeze the lobe between your thumb and index. “you too,” you force out, overwhelmed with the compliment, skin prickling with its genuity.

bucky observes you for a few seconds, eyes slow and deliberate as they take you in from a foot or so away, and then he settles a few inches closer.

“what’s wrong?” he asks, but he doesn’t really want to know, isn’t truly asking in the words’ definitions. there’s a pleased mask in his expression, hiding something flustered from your attention from your scrutiny.

you only blink and shrug, the weight of his gaze increasing with every second he stares. the blue of his irises has always been gentle in a sharp way, deep and crushing and grand like the ocean. warm and comforting like the sun that it reflects.

you swallow when he leans in, close enough for you to be sure he’s being entertained by how flustered he’s making you. you can’t think, you realize after a blank moment, mind crowded with the way his fresh scent interrupts the petrichor.

he’s smiling when he finally pauses in front of your face, nose nearly brushing against yours close, close enough that you can see the stars in his eyes and count each charcoal lash.

"you know you don't have to be so nervous around me?" he whispers.

you shiver, unable to help yourself as you dig teeth into your lips and your attention flickers to his.

they twist up when they notice, only crawling further when you choke out an affirmation. “yeah, yeah. i’m not—”

your reply dies on your tongue when he swoops in, noses nudging when he kisses you. your eyes stay wide open for a moment before they flutter shut, your body frozen before it melts inevitably, slackening into him. one of his hands moves to hold your waist, lips smiling beneath yours as he pulls away.

you swallow, attempting to blot away the haze his kiss has glossed over your mind. his grin isn’t helping, blinding you and chasing away the breath that kisses your lungs.

“i’m not nervous,” you finally force out. “you’re just—just really—”

“i’m really?” he urges.

you frown. “mean,” you finish.

he laughs, and you’re dizzy again.

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oldworldghost · 7 months

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Are requests still open? If yes could we maybe see a jealous P please? Like he’s learning his emotions and he learns he doesn’t like jealousy or something

Jealous Pinocchio! ☆

↳ Hello nonnie! Requests are indeed still open, and I love jealousy prompts >:3 also sorry to everyone who has sent in a request that I haven't answered yet, I have been sick and busy, well, playing the game </3 Under the cut because this is a long boy

➸ Okay so jealousy with Pinocchio obviously depends, much like you said, on how human he is; how much he knows about not only his own emotions, but emotions in general. It's because of this that, at first, there really isn't a lot of instances of jealousy on his part, and what instances there may be are not going to be immediately recognisable as such. And of course this is due to the fact that Pinocchio just doesn’t have a good grasp on his own emotions initially; he knows he’s feeling something and that that something is almost unpleasant, he just doesn’t know what to do with it or even what to call it.

➸ The main way jealousy at first manifests with Pinocchio is a little off putting, almost. You could probably mistake it for a sort of increased protectiveness; when he sees you talking to someone he stands close, glares at the other person or just watches like a hawk for the duration of the conversation. He doesn’t say anything or really do anything and it gets a little creepy. Don’t get me wrong, Pinocchio doesn’t mean it in a bad way whatsoever – he just wants your attention – but to everyone else it looks like he’s waiting for whoever you’re talking to to suddenly attack or something. It’s his eyes that do it, they’re so dead that is just doesn’t inspire any form of ease when it happens. Luckily, these instances are rare and fairly easy to handle. Just give him your attention and he’ll relax. And of course, as he grows this habit of his simmers down and changes.

➸ [Honestly though this could be so funny too because like, despite the fact that it’s both unnerving and rare I imagine that everyone would eventually end up catching on to what’s happening and god they have a field day with it. Especially Venigni. He doesn’t mean any harm but seeing Pinocchio look like he’s going to combust on the spot is a little bit funny. Do the rest help enable Venigni and this habit? Maybe, maybe. Eugénie is the main co-conspirator here.]

➸ As Pinocchio changes and becomes more human he settles into his feelings more, he learns and grows to not only feel them but process and identify them. And this, of course, goes for jealousy as well. Through both his own experiences and talking with humans Pinocchio is able to realise that yeah, he’s felt jealousy. That that's what that uncomfortable tightness was. However what is most interesting is that the more human Pinocchio becomes the more jealous he finds himself getting, and on a more regular basis. A part of this is because there is an increasing depth to his character and emotions, so naturally they grow more intense, but the more important part is the growing cause of his jealousy; that being his nature as both puppet and human.

➸ Now I do believe that Pinocchio never had an inherent desire to be human, and that it was something he strove to become because he believed that his father would want him as one, and because as a “special puppet” it would only make sense for him to try and change his nature. And so what Pinocchio was or should be never quite bothered him at first - more just filled him with a sense of confusion – but as he grows more human the more he genuinely wants to be one, and your relationship with him plays a major part in that and his jealousy. You see, Pinocchio wants humanity so he can truly love you, but it is this growing humanity and desire that places the weight of what he really is on him; a puppet and as such not enough.

➸ It is jealousy born of insecurity, the more he tries to change the more his faults become apparent to him. His perceived inability to emote, to understand; the disconnect between himself and you, the gap that Pinocchio wonders if he will ever be able to truly close. He is worried, very much so, about being replaced or cast aside, because if the choice came up between himself and someone fully human, well, why on earth would you chose him? This insecurity is only heightened post game, where – and of course spoilers – Pinocchio has been betrayed by his own father, the person he thought loved him despite his being a puppet. I don’t want to build it up too much, but being told you’re only there to be replaced and that you’re not enough by someone who you trusted has to leave its mark, especially when you share memories with the person you were supposed to be only to realise that they were never enough either. Like, yeah. Ouch!

➸ Of course as Pinocchios’ emotions grow so do the rest of his abilities, including being able to tell what he truly does vs doesn’t like feeling. He could always kind of do it, but now he is able to fully articulate the why of it, and jealousy has landed itself into the category of “I Do Not Like This”. Now that itself is fairly obvious, no one likes being jealous, but the main reason its there for Pinocchio is because it makes him feel bad, almost guilty. To him jealousy indicates a lack of trust in partners, but the kicker is that he does trust you. Despite everything that’s happened Pinocchio places his full trust and faith in you day after day, or at least he thinks he does, and on top of that even if you did end up finding someone better and/or leaving he would have no right to stop you. If you wanted to it would break Pinocchios heart, but he would let go because he would hate to try and control you; to force you into something you don’t want to be in. And so not only does his own jealousy make him feel bad but it confuses him greatly, because Pinocchio knows that he can’t control you and that he can trust you, so why does he still get that sinking feeling when he sees you with someone else? [It’s the unresolved issues, but you didn’t hear that from me]

➸ On a lighter note though, while Pinocchios jealousy is heightened and most frequent post-game it will naturally simmer out, much like how the whole protective-jealousy phase did. That is not to say that it is a fast process, naturally it is slow and time consuming - and that in part is due to simply how many things there are to do now that his father and Simon are dead - but with the support of yourself and a few makeshift therapy session with Gemini and Sophia [i.e. literally just talking about what he’s feeling], it ends up being something that he can handle a fair bit better than before. Still a slow process, but manageable [also PAUSE imagine Gemini on a table and Pinocchio laying on a couch like they’re actually in a therapists office with Sophia taking notes].

➸ Anyway yes, the main thing that helps is through talking to you. It gets to a point – and rather quickly at that – where Pinocchio finds that he just really needs to tell you what he’s feeling. He feels bad about it, of course, but I think what he really needs to be told at first is that it’s just natural. People get jealous even if they don’t want to or mean to and sure maybe not like he does, but that is something that can be worked on. Pinocchio needs support in his own ways and for his own things, even if he might not necessarily want to admit it, but luckily Pinocchio can also a very transparent lover, especially after becoming human.

➸Okay to drag this whole thing on let’s back peddle a teeny bit. How jealousy manifests at the heightened point actually shares similarities with how it initially manifested. However instead of coming off as protective it very obviously comes off as jealousy mixed with something akin to fear, for reasons already discussed. He also develops the habit of just quite literally pulling you away from whoever you’re talking to and taking you somewhere else. Pinocchio does this under the guise of “I’m human now so I want to spend as much time with you as I can to bask in it” but it is very obviously just Not That. Or more not fully that, anyway. It does retain a little bit of the humour it originally had, and yes there’s still a little bit of poking fun and riling him up [especially from Venigni] but that is rare, mainly because it’s kind of also just sad that he feels the need to do it after everything they’ve all been through together. And Pinocchio knows rationally that none of them are going to try and “steal” you off him, for lack of a better word, but that rational thinking just doesn’t help much here. However this is also not the only habit that develops, sometimes Pinocchio will simply avoid you for a little, a sort of self pitying isolation mainly because he doesn’t want you to see him upset or jealous. None of the hotels residents know which one is worse to witness, honestly it might be a tie.

➸ Okay so on an actual actual lighter note [and because we cannot be here all day], once both Pinocchios’ relationship with his humanity is better his jealousy becomes something fairly rare, much like at the start. And by that point Pinocchio has also come to terms with it too, it’s a part of him he can accept and make peace with. After this, a lot of instances of it are just kind of cute. Like I will be absolutely real with you he is playing it up to get your attention; you’re getting puppy dog eyes, pouting, and in private Pinocchio’s going to go on some very light hearted spiel about how you no longer love him, all “woe is me” on you. As a human Pinocchio has grown a rather mischievous and sassy yet still gentlemanly personality and it so fucking shows here. A lot of these instances of jealousy are caused by, you guessed it, Pinocchio not getting enough attention, which is a little funny because by this point he’s very able to be alone by himself for a while. The other instances are people just getting too close [i.e. Venigni and Eugénie] or things of that ilk.

#HELP NONNIE THIS ENDED UP OVER 1.7K I AM SO SORRY SJKKDZFHG #also I am thinking of writing some fucking uh #pinocchio or venigni kink hcs would anyone be interested in either of those #Of course this is all a lot more complex than I have made it out to be but you get the idea #I really don't want to make an analysis here so sdkfjhgsdhf #also if this isn't coherent just do not tell me #lies of p #lies of p x reader #pinocchio x reader #pinocchio #my writing

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lastflowerofyourhouse · 10 months

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i fucking love the stuff with the ghosts in htn btw.

abigail and magnus get to be 3-dimensional and interesting and they get to use their skills to help people. they're first act shock value deaths but they were so so smart and in this one they get to be useful like they never got to be before. they get to do what they would've done, given the chance, and hold the group together. they get to actually solve the problem and offer harrow a truly healthy relationship with adults. they get to show her real guidance.

marta dyas, a one-note character who dies off page, completely freaks out when sock puppet judith dies. she's distressed, she's confused, but abigail convinces her so easily to stay and help harrow, a girl she's barely spoken to. she doesn't just get to demonstrate her genuine resolve and skill when fighting commander wake, but she also gets to be a good person, and she gets to be afraid.

dulcinea septimus. fucking dulcinea septimus. the woman on the sidelines whose name means sugar, the romantic interest who you were delusional for believing in, the unseen recipient of letters, is sick of roses and horny for revenge. she's jilted, she's angry, she's been cooped up and bored for a long long time and she's going to help you kill a ghost because what does she have left to loose.

and ortus nigenad, my beloved. talk about a one-note character who dies off page. a generally unpleasant poet who almost none of the characters respect. and he gets to be the hero. his genuine passion and love for something no one else gives a shit about is enough to warp reality and save everyone. harrow goes to him genuinely contrite and ashamed of herself, and he doesn't just forgive her, he apologizes for not doing more to protect her. he gives her a hug. he makes her feel seen and safe and real. and then. and then this is a story in which the power of love genuinely does save the day and ortus's ardent love for his mattias nonius verse fanfiction is the love that makes up the difference.

even protesilaus writes poetry. he has a family. he cultivates roses in his free time. and his relationship with dulcie is complicated. he genuinely cares for her but he isn't always what's best for her. and he, too, stays to help harrow. with no ulterior motives, no self interest, despite having never met her before, he stays to help harrow.

it just offers so much agency and depth to these characters who are so easy to write off in the first book. like, it sucks what happens to ortus, but no one was crying about him. we feel kinda sad about dulcinea for palamedes's sake, but not for her own. but then harrow the ninth comes out and suddenly they're all people. selfless, brave, intelligent, angry people banding together to help this unpleasant but desperate seventeen-year-old and i love them all so much. harrow the ninth is such a good fucking book.

#harrow the ninth #dulcie septimus #ortus nigenad #magnus and abigail #protesilaus ebdoma #marta dyas #my post

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deeply-unserious-fellow · 19 days

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Something I don't like about a lot of Vox takes I see is that they tend to portray Vox as someone who's unpleasant to work with and has weird ideas about what partnership means when really... he's not? He's not and he doesn't. It's just that two of the most prominent interactions we've seen him have are with Valentino(who is a fucking NIGHTMARE to work with) and Alastor(a man he has undisclosed, deeply emotional history with). But everyone seems to discount his OTHER important relationship: Velvette. Which by all accounts, is INCREDIBLY normal.

Like, yeah, their first interaction opens with her yelling at him, but that's less about Vox himself and more about Valentino. As they keep talking throughout the first bit of the episode, she starts calming down, and they just seem to genuinely get along? She has every right to look upset during Stayed Gone because Vox is being really weird and she's nOT THE ONE WHO ACTIVELY ENCOURAGED HIM TO DO THIS SHIT(staring directly at Val rn), but even then during the meeting after Stayed Gone she does actually. Participate. Unlike s o m e people. Despite being on her phone the whole time(which is literally her job-), she actually pays attention and contributes real ideas! Which tbh she didn't have to do at ALL like she did not have to put up w/ Vox's bs in RKtVS the way she did. There's also their phone call during the overlord meeting which, while I definitely think Vel was playing it up to annoy Carmilla, still sounded like a conversation between two ppl who genuinely like and respect eachother!

No matter what you think their relationship is(romantic, platonic, etc...), Vox and Velvette seem to get along REALLY well(outside of Alastor-related incidents). Like, better than either of them do with literally anybody else in the show. Vox & Val do LIKE eachother, but I find whatever the fuck is going on beneath the after the battles & masterless cattles to be DEEPLY upsetting to think about for too long(ex; any of my other posts abt their relationship), and the only other interactions we've seen either Vox or Vel have are Stayed Gone & Respectless, which are literally just song battles. Both of their only interactions outside of the Vees have been song battles. Aw fuck I'm getting off topic... BACK TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP AS COLLEAGUES- okay uh basically, I don't think they would get along this well if Vox was a terrible person to work with(note I said WORK WITH. Hate that I need to specify this but I don't think Vox is a good person overall, just a good business partner). I think Velvette is generally a good bench mark for both Vox & Valentino's relationships with other characters because she's their equal, their friend, and isn't in a weird toxic relationship with either of them. Their interactions with her provide a window into how they just generally interact with people. And based off of their interactions, Vox seems to be actually pretty decent to work with when he isn't being Actively Provoked for shits and giggles or trying to sooth the tantrum of a man child. Also when he views you as an equal and doesn't own your soul that helps too.

Edit: Hiiiiiiii just here to say that now, in the light of day, I don't really agree with everything I've said in this post? I wrote it at midnight while like half asleep so my ability to consider the fact that. We barely know anything about either Vox or Velvette at this point in time. Was kind of impaired I think. Cuz we really don't. I do stand by everything I said about their relationship to EACHOTHER, and I stand by the idea that we should take that dynamic into consideration for character analysis more often, but everything else I'm a little iffy on and I just woke up like an hour ago so my brains still a little fuzzy & I can't explain exactly WHY I'm iffy on it, but just know that I think the conclusion I drew is a bit of a leap in logic at the very least and I recognize that now lol

#Idk I just think their dynamic is vastly underrated and should be used for character analysis more often #vox has a lot more layers then I think the fandom tends to give him credit for #because it's more fun to make Alastor body pillow jokes #which tbh I cant even be particularly mad at bcuz if ur doing it for the laughs then there's rlly no harm in the long run lol #also I just want more Velvette character analysis she's fun #hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin velvette #hazbin hotel velvette #velvette hazbin hotel #gonna tag this as ship but platonic readings are welcome too tbh idrc #voxvel #velvox #staticdoll #late night ramblings #gal overanalyzes random shit

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eldritch-spouse · 5 months

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Sorry if this has been asked already but will Zizz aid reader in dreams? I imagine Zizz looking into my dreams and seeing me without my pants or shirt on in public because I forgot them and being like "Girl (Zizz) help 😭"

Also does he look into the meaning of dreams?

Depends.

Sometimes Zizz truly likes to see where your hilarious dreams can go. In a shopping center without pants? Ah yes, he's seen this one a thousand times... The chances are equal here. He could turn every item in the shop into a pair of pants, remove everyone else's pants, make a spotlight appear directly above your half-naked form, or simply make other articles of your clothing disappear one by one.

It's just harmless fun, you can't blame Zizz for having a sense of humor, can you? Perhaps you might even hear his disembodied laughter as your naked form tries to escape the store and scandalized onlookers point at you. Zizz sits where the cashier should be, taunting you that the exit is blocked until you buy something. Feel free to call him a dick and launch several items at him, though most of them dissolve into a strange paste before they ever manage to hit his form.

If something genuinely traumatic is happening in your dreams (or nightmares, in this case), then Zizz will be the first to stop them and entirely shift the scenery. Especially if they're based off something unpleasant that happened to you in real life.

The meaning of dreams is something he knows all about, given much of the King's work is done when he's unconscious, leaping into the minds of many slumbering others to implant ideas and shift mindsets, become more powerful. From your dreams, Zizz can of course gleam a lot about your fears or desires, your personality, the inner workings of your beautiful mind. More than understanding their meaning, he often seeks to decipher where your brain gets information to concoct certain sceneries. How much of it is memory and how much of it is pure creative filler? How much of it is actually meaningful and how much is sporadic input? How do certain triggers affect your state of lucidity in dreams?

#Zizz oc

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toskarin · 10 months

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So, I don't mean this in a rude way, but I genuinely don't understand the appeal of Fear & Hunger outside the fetishistic angle, and I was hoping you might be able to tell me what you like about it. Everything I've heard and seen about it seems to not be particularly scary, but rather just a sequence of gore and sexual assault related scenes that everyone assumes make a horror franchise because Bad Things are happening.

Oh? You killed someone? Well, congratulations, pal, you learned the masturbation skill! You lost a fight? Whoops, looks like that genie is going to fist your anus until you die! You're fighting a guy who tried to sexually assault your character? Now he turned into a horrible penis monster and is telling you to choke on his balls!

I know those examples are all from the sequel, but my impression is that the first one is very much like that as well. I'm totally willing to believe that I'm wrong, but from the outside, it genuinely looks like the fandom is a bunch of people insisting to each other that this is Actually Very Deep, when it's ultimately just weird porn that's honestly kind of sophomoric in its delivery. Again, I'm willing to believe there's something there, but I haven't been able to find it in anything I've seen of the franchise so far.

And to be clear, I'm not coming at this from the angle of someone criticizing people for being into weird porn, and I'm by no means unfamiliar with or against the concept of sexual horror. If people are into games where the penalty for losing is their character getting fucked to death, more power to those people. I guess what I'm saying is that it just feels like at least a portion of the fan base isn't being honest about what they get out of it. Like, if someone is really into the considerable amount of horny stuff in Fear and Hunger, that's fine, but own it.

I guess I'm ultimately hoping for either some clarification as to why I'm getting the wrong impression, or, like, confirmation that a lot of the appeal is the sexual stuff.

ramble below the break

so, before anything else, it should definitely be clarified: even through the lens of ryona and eroguro, Fear and Hunger isn't actually very much of a fetish game. it's got lots of gratuitous violence, a lot of which is sexual, but the actual content of the game is more like a splatter film than a guro doujin

it's a very silly qualification to pull, but I've got more than a passing familiarity with the other side of things and don't really think the game has that going on (I tried the game because I thought that's what it was lol)

a lot of it comes down to the fact that not only are those scenes unpleasant, but you also know they're paired with material consequences. kind of like how playing survival games in hardcore mode gives them an otherwise absent tension. you've gotta make hard choices, and sometimes those choices make you miserable

most players don't want to see those scenes, which is why it ends up being an effective (albeit absolutely not tasteful, no argument there) horror element. it has to be taken along with the restrictive saves, the harsh atonal music, and the fact that everything you run into in these games looks disgusting

the end result is a game where you have a number of saves that most generously can be counted on one hand with room to spare and spend your time running around a world where nearly everything wants to kill you, do something horrible to you, or some baroque combination of the two

Fear and Hunger's horror works because, unlike a lot of splatter horror, it forces the player to be in a prey mindset just as much as the protagonists are. it's really scary when you're rationing your saves, think you're almost in the clear, and then the game asks you to call a coinflip

if Fear and Hunger were presented in any other medium, I wouldn't think it makes for good horror. it's extremely silly to read about and is frankly either "Berserk with the labels sanded off" or "Majora's Mask but fucked up" depending on the game. the user-hostility of the mechanics turns those incoherent masses of scares into paranoid nightmare simulators

the abstract dread of "this character is about to have their arms twisted behind their back and their organs pulled out of them" becomes very tangible when the player is actively trying to avoid a consequence. the tasteless sexual horror lands in large part because it's using the mechanics to force you to take the threat seriously

when you've got an infection on your arm and know that you could theoretically treat it but that it also might kill you in the time you're trying to find the medicine, you feel like a hunted animal asking yourself "maybe I should just saw it off"

or at least that's my read!

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 1 year

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Here, Boy ~ X.T.

A/n: I didn’t know exactly how to end this. Hope it landed well :)

Request: “Xavier Thrope x werewolf!male reader where Xavier is crushing on a golden retriever sporty reader...” by anon

Word Count: 2,000+

MASTERLIST

Being friends with Wednesday hadn't been Xavier's first intention, but after bonding over their mutual gloominess and like for quiet and space, it really was inevitable. It had started mostly because she'd thought he was the Hyde, but when that theory was debunked and it was revealed who the real Hyde was their friendship got to form outside of that. Now they both had the habit of tucking themselves away in Xavier's shed - which had at this point become both of their space. Wednesday was allowed to chase any theory and put whatever pictures she wanted up, Xavier didn't mind. He was used to the gore and horror she was so enthralled by, having been plagued by dreams the same way Wednesday had been haunted by visions.

There were a lot of cons to being friends with Wednesday, but the biggest pro was that it came with a bonus friendship with Enid. Enid hated coming to the shed, but as Wednesday and Xavier started to hang out at lunch, during class, and in their free time, Enid started to tag along. By herself she was pleasant enough and Xavier liked having someone a little bit more positive and light in his life. She helped him out of his head, and out of shell, much more. He didn't just hang around Wednesday or his stuffy secret society friends - he branched out a lot more.

That was how he met Y/n.

Officially at least.

Nevermore was a small school, and one couldn't go far without running into at least half the student body in some passive way. Y/n and xavier had shared a class or a friend or a space several dozen times, but they'd never had much reason to talk to each other. The few times they had, left Xavier with a deep appreciation for Y/n though. Like Enid, he was a breath of fresh air to be around. His smile was contagious, and he found joy in the simplest of things. He was a sporty person, and had found his way onto every single team he could, but he wasn't obsessive about it. Sports wasn't the draw; being part of a team was. As a werewolf, he was already strong and had impressive stamina, but he also had a craving for that pack dynamic. He loved being apart of something.

Everyone pleasant loved Y/n. That was why he was friends with Enid.

Everyone unpleasant hated him. No surprise that he was being tormented by Syl then.

Syl was the kind of asshole that liked quiet, but in a way that rather than finding a peaceful moment or creating a space for herself, she tried to make everyone else calm down instead. She made any public space the worst to be in; her looks wiped off smiles and her biting comments soured sweet moments. She was a vampire who apparently came from a really old family, and it reflected in her beliefs. In the way she avoided Wednesday and Enid because of something about the "appearance of evil" even though Enid was dating Ajax, and Wednesday was openly aromantic and intensely uninterested in any kind of romantic relationship.

In the past, Enid and Syl had clashed a lot, because Enid hadn't wolfed out fully yet. Then Wednesday and Enid had become friends, and Syl learned very quickly to keep her distance. And then immediately moved onto Y/n.

Y/n wasn't an idiot. He knew she was being mean, but just didn't care. He knew that when she threw a ball and yelled for him to fetch, or that when she scratched behind his ear and called him a good boy, it wasn't actually a game or a show of kindness or affection. he always let it happen though, and the most he ever did was roll his eyes good naturally and laugh it off. It genuinely didn't bother him.

When Wednesday asked about it, Enid was the only one who could come up with any explanation. "When you're high energy and good natured, and a werewolf, it just... is a pretty direct comparison," she offered half heartedly. "You already act like a dog - you're friendly and bring little presents and need a lot of affection and can get carried away with playing. They see him rolling around on that field and everyone just sees a house pet most of the time. Not like - like he's less for that. But, a lot of people scratch werewolves behind the ears and give them "treats" instead of "food" or play fetch or platonically cuddle or call us good boys or girls or even use baby voices - just like they would an actual job. I only experience it as little as I do because I go out of my way to do my hair, and my nails, and I put a lot of effort into my clothes and make up, so at a very young age I didn't want people touching me and I didn't play with everyone else." She shrugged. "Y/n doesn't have that luxury. He's just used to it."

Well that bothered Xavier. Used to it or not, he could see the shame and embarrassment Y/n felt every single time Syl made a big deal out of treating him like some common house pet. Like more of an animal than a person. And he could see the way that the more Syl got away with it, the more other people started to do it too. Not always with Y/n, and rarely with any malice, but...

It was still demeaning.

One day they were all at lunch and in the middle of their conversation, Syl called, "Come here, Boy! Come here Y/n!" She pat her thighs, bending her knees a little. Y/n froze mid laugh, his smile wiping off of his face as he cringed into his seat. A sheepish look crossed his face as he went to get up and go over to Syl.

Xavier had had enough. "Would you stop doing that?"

Syl smirked as she looked at the irritated artist, her shades lowering so her eyes could look directly into Xavier's. "What's the matter Thorpe? Claimed this one or something?"

Xavier's face twists with irritation. "I didn't claim him - what the hell is wrong with you? He's not an animal, he's a person."

"Half person," Syl shrugged. The courtyard was suddenly very tense and quiet, half shocked and the other half incredibly uncomfortable. "He's half dog, I'm not wrong."

Wednesday stood from the table, her eyes narrowed. "He's not half-anything, you small minded waste of shadow. He's part wolf and part human, and that's only because he can shift between either of his forms. That doesn't mean that when he's a wolf he loses his ability to think and feel like a human."

Syl's lips pulled back into a snarl as she went to snap something back to Wednesday, but Y/n suddenly stood to his feet to catch everyone's attention. "Guys, it's fine." He laughed off the awkwardness he felt, waving his hand through the air as if to dismiss all the negativity circling him. "I like when she scratches behind my ear, and fetch is actually super fun."

"Of course," Wednesday agreed. "But she's taking advantage of your enjoyment and is using it in a very mean way. She's twisting all the good things you'd usually allow and making them something not good." Her dagger throwing glare turned to Y/n, and then softened. Just a little. “Do you understand?”

Y/n nodded. “I’ll stop letting it slide.”

“That’s a great place to start,” Enid encouraged, and Y/n’s smile was back again. For now that would be enough.

The next time Syl tried to pull something, neither Wednesday nor Enid were around. Xavier knew it had been on purpose when she approached, eyes ignoring him completely as if he wasn’t even there. “There’s my favorite boy,” she cooed, reaching up to scratch behind Y/n’s ear.

Y/n leaned away. He frowned at her, not in the mood for this but not totally good at confrontation still. He had gotten a little better when Xavier had sat down and talked boundaries, agreeing that he would be more affectionate with Y/n to show him how it could be done well and not as a cruelty. Now Y/n knew the difference and he didn’t like Syl anymore. “Dont do that.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a drama queen. Come here-“

“He said stop,” Xavier piped in. Y/n looked relieved to have been backed up.

Syl slowly looked at Xavier. “God with how often you little twerps defend this weirdo you’d think he was sucking your dick or something.”

Something set ablaze inside of Xavier in a very ugly way. She thought the only reason anyone would be friends with Y/n was if they were having sex? “What is wrong with you?” He snapped. “You know why we defend Y/n? Because he’s a good person! I know that’s a really fucking foreign concept to you, because when he’s a little slow or misses little details or doesn’t click with the joke that was made or misinterprets tone or whatever - you just think he’s an idiot. That’s a bad thing to you. But it’s not bad, or especially good, it’s just a thing. That’s just how he is and the fact that in a school of freaks you decided that him being different than you was a bad thing? I don’t get it! We were killed in the last for being different, how do you not know that? How is it not ingrained in your blood? How do you not know that you’re just as bad all those people in the past? Like Crackstone.”

Syl hissed, like a mix between spitting and growling. “Jesus maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’re sucking his dick.”

Xavier lashed out without thinking. He shoved her. “What we do behind closed doors is none of your business, you bitch, but just so it can sync really deep in your impossibly thick skull - no, we don’t have any kind of sexual shit. That doesn’t mean I don’t like him though! It’s almost like people have worth just by being people.” He took Y/n’s hand and gently tugged him away. Y/n followed the prompt. “Come on,” Xavier growled. “Let’s get out of here.”

They had gone down several halls and had completely lost Syl before either of them spoke. “You... like me?”

Xavier froze, finally processing all of the things he had said. In front of Y/n. Oh shit. “Uh-“ He turned to look at Y/n and something warm spread through his blood, comforting him but cooling down the raging storm from before. Y/n was smiling. “Maybe.”

Y/n stepped closer to Xavier, changing the palm-to-palm hand hold into a finger laced hold. “I think I maybe like you too. But I’m... slow, with stuff like this.”

Xavier eased, relaxing now that Syl was gone and Y/n was talking about something that he had wanted so badly for so long. “I would be okay, figuring it out. Taking as long as you need.”

Y/n nodded, then rested his head on Xavier’s shoulder. “Is this okay?”

Completely forgetting about Syl now, Xavier chuckled. His smile was shy and small but bright. “That’s more than okay.” He turned his head, leaving a kiss on the top of Y/n’s head. “Is that okay?”

Y/n closed his eyes, sighing contentedly. “That’s okay.” They fell into quiet, but this time it was comfortable and familiar. Like falling into bed after a long day. “If Syl ever tries anything again, I’m going to go to staff. I don’t want to deal with it anymore, and neither should any of my friends. Or you.”

Xavier liked that idea very much. He also very much liked being excluded from ‘friends’. “That’s a good idea. I can go with you.”

“I’d like that,” Y/n whispered. “I’d like that a lot.” The bell rang and they moved off of the wall to head to class. When they had to delegate ways, their hands lingered, fingers still holding onto each other. Then their hands fell away but they still smiled. It wouldn’t be the last time they did that, and until they could come back later they were both just fine waiting until then.

Male readers tag: @ravenpuff-oli @sortzz @fadedver

#Xavier Thorpe #Wednesday #Netflix #Xavier Thorpe x reader #Xavier Thorpe imagine #Xavier Thorpe x male reader #male reader #self insert #Wednesday Netflix

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forestdeath1 · 21 days

Note

Do you think James really matured? If so, why do you think he still hexed Snape? And if you say that it was because “Snape never lost an opportunity to hex him” why has he never told Lily?

This is a genuine question I simply want to know your take because you’re probably the only person on here that likes them both.

No, I'm not the only one. There's also @seriousbrat and @fiendishfyre and maybe someone else.

I've always thought that James matured in the sense that he stopped seeing what he does as a worthy knightly deed. In other words, he realized that it's not something to be proud of and that it's worth showing off. And that strutting around like a pompous turkey, cursing everyone you don't like, even if you justify it in your head by saying they're filthy Slytherins — that's just rubbish behavior.

But James didn't become someone who would turn the other cheek. The Marauders, even as adults, stuck to the idea — an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. I don't know what you mean by "matured," maybe that James became like Dumbledore or like Harry... well, no. From the conversation between Sirius, Remus, and Harry, it's clear that they fully justify James's actions in his seventh year, because they're all children of a different mindset "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth," and they don't understand any other way. They don't turn the other cheek for a hit, they hit back. So they justify James, and I think James felt the same way back then.

But he knew that Lily had a different mindset, plus Snape was her best friend, I don't think she would have wanted to know all that. I think she wanted to exclude any mentions of Severus from her life altogether; it caused her pain. Actually, the fact that James understood it needed to be kept secret, not bragged about, shows that he at least started to think that it could actually be unpleasant for Lily (before in SWM James humiliated Snape with pride and constantly glanced at the lake, thinking Lily would appreciate how "cool" he was).

So, if for you "maturing" means finally understanding that violence in any form is unacceptable— then no, James didn't mature. Even Remus and Sirius didn't "mature". From this perspective (typical Christian morality, which is abundant in the books), Harry, for example, acts much more maturely in PoA when he decides not to kill Peter.

#james potter #the marauders

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jikookiekosmos · 1 year

Text

Seneschal || jjk (Part 1)

➥Pairing: vampire!jungkook/reader, former prince!jungkook/reader

➥Summary: Having been burned by the rest of the world, Jungkook was content to watch it go up in flames. Or, at least, he was until you gave him hope for something new. As plans are set in motion to unite your rival kingdoms, unforeseen circumstances arise. In the midst of the chaos, Jungkook is sure of one thing: he’d be damned if he let you get burned, too.

➥Genre: strangers to lovers, angst, slow burn, (eventual) fluff, (eventual) smut, royalty au, supernatural au

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~6k

➥Content Warnings: a bit of angst, no smut in the first part but there is a little bit of nudity mentioned, blood and violence are mentioned, vampire lore(?), swearing, this is more of an intro chapter than anything else so there isn’t a whole lot that happens

A/N: so uh…it’s been a while, yeah? I haven’t updated any of my BTS fics on this blog in over a year due to a lot of life things (you can read here if you’re curious as to why), but I finally had a little time to sit down and dedicate to this idea I teased back in November 2021. As mentioned in the content warnings, this is more of an intro chapter so there isn’t a whole lot going on…definitely will be more happening later.

Anyways all that to say thank you to everyone who has supported/is still supporting me and my writing even during my hiatus. It means the absolute world to me 💜

(Also special shout-out to @dntaewithluv for listening to me ramble off idea about this for a literal year, I love you so much and appreciate you immensely ❤️)

seneschal [sen-uh-shuhl] (noun) an officer having full charge of domestic arrangements, ceremonies, the administration of justice, etc., in the household of a medieval prince or dignitary; steward.

Otherwise known as Jungkook’s consolation prize when he was coerced to step down from the throne.

It had been 2 years since the…incident occurred, but Jungkook could still remember it as if it had just happened.

Which is exactly what he was reflecting on as a vial was being thrust into his vision.

He blinked rapidly a few times before staring up at the person holding the vial out for him, their face a mixture of excitement and mild impatience.

“Well? We don’t have all day. Drink up, Jeon.”

Jungkook glared.

“My apologies, please drink the potion, Mr. Jeon.”

“Jimin, you know how I feel about you and formalities-”

“It just so happens that my manners come out more as my patience grows thin.” Jimin teased. “So,” he tried once more, “drink it.”

Jungkook sighed and shook his head, knowing it was better to leave well enough alone.

“Are you sure this is safe,” Jungkook asked as he stared hesitantly at the vial filled with blue liquid just inches away from his face.

Jimin rolled his eyes before grabbing Jungkook’s hand and closing it around the vial. “Yes, for the billionth time I wouldn’t give you something I thought might harm you.” He took a step back and crossed him arms, waiting patiently for Jungkook to do something.

With a sigh Jungkook carefully brought the vial to his lips, swallowing the liquid without putting too much thought into it. The taste was bitter, but not wholly unpleasant, and a few more moments passed before either of them spoke.

“And the verdict is?” The genuine curiosity in Jimin’s voice was something Jungkook had always found to be endearing.

Jungkook chuckled. Jimin may have still been a wizard in training, but he always had Jungkook’s best interest at heart.

“How am I supposed to know if anything happened? You tell me.”

Jimin blinked before the realization set in. “Oh, right.” He stepped forward once more, peering into Jungkook’s eyes as best he could in the dim lighting of the room.

Jungkook already knew the results before Jimin could confirm them. The way his face dropped said it all.

“They’re still red. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I’m following all the rules-”

“Jimin.”

“Maybe the spellbook is outdated, you know? This is the only one I’ve ever seen anyone else use, it must be centuries old at this point-”

“Jimin,” Jungkook stated more firmly this time, clapping his hand on the other’s shoulder to keep him from pacing around more. “It’s fine.”

Jimin groaned. “But it’s not fine, what kind of a supposed ‘wizard’ am I if I can’t even do a simple eye color changing spell.”

“You’re one that’s trying and that’s what matters.”

“Yeah, but,” Jimin broke off, pout prominent on his face. “you shouldn’t have to wear contacts all the time.”

Jungkook offered a gentle smile to his downtrodden friend. “There’s lots of things I shouldn’t have to do, but I do them anyway. It’s only a slight inconvenience, not a big deal.”

Jimin didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t know why you need to wear them in the first place, does it really matter if people see-”

“Yes,” Jungkook cut him off with a tone of finality. “We’ve been over this. It’s best for everyone if they don’t figure it out.”

“So you’re honestly fine with everyone thinking you did something horrible enough to make you step down from the throne? You’re ok with letting people drag your name through the mud constantly?”

Jungkook shrugged. “It’s just better this way.”

Jungkook could swear he heard Jimin growl. “It’s not right and you know it. You’re just too set in your ways about not wanting to bring dishonor on your family. Which, by the way, not sure if you noticed but they aren’t the most honorable people.”

“Don’t.” Another statement with a stern tone. This time, Jimin obeyed.

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, letting the dark curls fall at their own leisure. “I need to get going or I’ll be late.”

If he left now he had just enough time to stop by his room and grab his contacts he’d left behind on his way to see Jimin, as per Jimin’s request.

“I’ve got it all figured out, so you won’t even need them this time!” Jimin had promised.

Jungkook had hope that one of these days Jimin would be victorious in all of his spellcasting endeavors, and he’d be there to support him the whole way through.

Right now, however, he had bigger matters to attend to.

On his way back to his chambers he saw Seokjin, who he figured was en route to go check on Jimin, seeing as he was the appointed court wizard and Jimin was his apprentice.

Jungkook nodded at him as they passed by each other, but Seokjin calling out for him had him turning around.

“Yes?”

It was then that Jungkook could see just how tired Seokjin looked. “Lord Jeon requests your presence before your meeting with the king.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Did he now? He bother to tell you what it was about?”

Seokjin shook his head, brows somewhat furrowed. Jungkook sensed that he seemed tense overall, and Jungkook didn’t like it.

“He didn’t. He just said it was important and had to be done as soon as possible.”

With a deep sigh, Jungkook relented, mumbling a thank you to Seokjin as he changed the direction he was walking. His brother’s chambers were located in a completely different wing of the castle, but he still had enough time to stop by his own room afterwards if he played his cards right.

He could hear the noises before he even approached the door, faint enough to go unnoticed by other passerby, but due to his heightened senses he had the unfortunate luck of not being able to remain oblivious. Jungkook knocked on the door despite the urge to just barge in; protocol was a big thing here and it was best for him to keep that in mind.

When he got no answer, he knocked once more before he squared his shoulders and turned the knob to open the door.

Without waiting for a greeting, he walked in, fully prepared for what he might find, seeing as it’d happened before.

Sure enough, the sight he was met with was exactly what he expected.

“Ah, so you finally came,” a snarky voice called out to him, slightly muffled. Jungkook rolled his eyes as he waited for the other party to get situated.

“What do you want, Yoongi?”

The blonde man in the bed not far from Jungkook smiled as the sheets fell around his waist. The woman next to him had even less shame, not bothering to cover her naked torso.

It wasn’t like Jungkook had never seen it before, anyway-

“Now is that anyway to address your superior?”

Jungkook gritted his teeth. “It is when my ‘superior’ is my younger brother.”

Yoongi tutted disapprovingly. “If you recall, you’re still only 24 years old-”

“Yoongi.”

“Which makes me the older brother now since I just turned 25.” he flashed a grin and the woman beside him snuggled up to his arm, still not completely covering her breasts. Jungkook looked away.

“So,” Yoongi continued, “you care to try that again?”

“I don’t, thanks. What do you want?”

Yoongi huffed, clearly unamused. “What I want is for you to tell our father what my requests are for the event we’re holding.”

This intrigued Jungkook enough to turn his sights back to his brother. “You’re not attending?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Yoongi feigned remorse. “I have more important matters to attend to.”

Jungkook watched in disgust as Yoongi grabbed a hold of the woman’s chin to turn her face so that he could kiss her. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

“So you’re not coming then?”

“Oh he’s not, but he will be,” the woman ran her hand up Yoongi’s arm. Long, teal hair covered her shoulders, reminding Jungkook of when it was first dyed. He’d been there with her after all, so of course he’d remember it.

She giggled at her own joke while Yoongi laughed boisterously, 2 sounds Jungkook wished he’d never have to hear again.

He’d never been that lucky.

“I don’t have time for this,” was his only remark before he turned on his heel to exit the room.

Jungkook ignored Yoongi’s calls for him to come back, instead taking longer than necessary strides to put as much room between him and his brother as possible.

A low growl died in his throat as he pulled on the edge of his chain dangling from his neck. It looked like an ordinary chain necklace to the untrained eye, but it was long enough to where the end of it could fit in Jungkook’s pocket. From his neck, the rest of the chain disappeared beneath his shirt, covering the length of his chest.

It was a safety measure more than anything, something Seokjin and Jimin had helped him come up with following the ‘incident.’

⊱─────✧༺✧༻✧─────⊰

“Silver has been known to cause excruciating pain to vampires,” Seokjin had explained, “but this is a special chain, charmed with a spell that dulls that effect.”

“It doesn’t get rid of it completely?” Jimin’s confusion was evident alongside his concern for his friend.

Seokjin shook his head. “It won’t, only because that was Jungkook’s request.”

Jimin’s worried stare shifted to Jungkook, who was sitting on one of the tables in Seokjin’s chambers. His shirt was shredded, and his chest was stained scarlet: souvenirs of his most recent outing.

He went out to feed, traveling several towns over, and ended up failing miserably. Jungkook maybe got a few seconds of satisfaction before he was being ripped away from his willing victim and promptly beaten by 3 other men.

He absolutely could’ve taken them, but he was already ashamed of what he was doing in the first place. He figured that this was punishment that he had coming in one way or another.

That night when he stumbled into Seokjin’s room, bloodied and defeated, they put together a plan straight away.

Jimin asked to sit in and observe, since he was still unfamiliar with certain spells, but he missed that part of the conversation when he was fetching supplies.

“I don’t understand, why do you want the chain to still be able to cause pain?”

Jungkook sighed, wrapping part of it around his fist and noticing instantly the slight burn the metal singed his skin with. “Because the pain will hopefully be enough to stop me.”

“Stop you from doing what?”

Jungkook slowly raised his eyes to look at Jimin, a small, sorrowful smile stretched across his face.

“Something I regret.”

⊱─────✧༺✧༻✧─────⊰

The familiar sting of the chain branded the inside of his palm with invisible marks, and he kept it curled inside his hand until he was in front of his own chamber doors. He was really pushing time now, close to being late for his advisory meeting, but he’d risk a slight delay in the start of the meeting versus having to explain why his eyes were crimson colored.

Once he had his contacts fixed, he all but jogged to the large meeting room down the hall. A few guards and his father were already there, waiting on him as it seemed he was the last to show up.

“You’re late,” the king greeted, a hint of disappointment in his tone.

Jungkook was used to that by now.

“Sorry, Your Majesty, I had to run a few errands first. Shall we start?”

The king cleared his throat and nodded, holding out his hand to the guard nearest him. A scroll was placed into his large palm before he quickly unraveled it.

Jungkook watched his eyes flit across the parchment, and when he deemed it satisfactory, the king handed it back to the guard so he could pass it down to Jungkook.

“You’ll find the agenda there for tomorrow’s event. I’m entrusting you, as usual, with all the planning so you can make sure everything is taken care of.”

Jungkook hummed as he read through everything. It all looked to be in order: designated time for the other guests to arrive, instructions for what catering needed to be prepared, an outline of what was required for Yoongi’s meeting with the princess-

Jungkook read that line again. And another time. He ground his teeth together as he looked back up at the king whose eyebrow was raised as he waited.

“Well? Is something the matter? You look perturbed.”

“Father-”

“This is an official meeting, boy. No informal titles allowed.”

Jungkook’s jaw was clenched. “Your Majesty,” he tried again, “what is this last portion here about a meeting with a princess?”

“Ah yes, that.” The nonchalant answer made Jungkook’s anger rise even further. “The meeting between their princess and our prince is what will be the defining moment for the entire event.”

Jungkook had known there was some sort of event happening that was supposed to – hopefully – demolish the rivalry between the two neighboring kingdoms. There had been bad blood for far too long, and it sometimes made it difficult to retrieve supplies from other areas without conflict arising.

Jungkook had been tasked with planning everything for the guests arrival, as his job required him to do. Despite being kicked from the royal lineage, he was allowed to stay a part of the royal court and act as a steward of sorts. It wasn’t always the best, but he figured it beat being exiled from the kingdom entirely.

He worked tirelessly over the last several months to ensure that all boxes were checked for this gathering. But this new information blindsided him, and now it suddenly made sense why his father and Yoongi both seemed so cocky and sure that this would work.

“And no one thought it pertinent enough to tell me that this would be happening?”

Of all things he could’ve done in that moment, the king had the audacity to shrug. “You won’t be present for that bit of it, so we didn’t feel it was necessary to tell you.”

“Then why isn’t Yoongi here for this instead of me,” Jungkook tried to keep his tone respectful, but even he couldn’t stop some of the malice from slipping through.

“The prince” the king put heavy emphasis on the title, “is busy carrying out other affairs, so it didn’t seem important to bother him with this.”

“Yeah, affair is certainly one way to put it,” he mumbled, crossing his arms as he looked to the side.

“I beg your pardon?”

Jungkook exhaled through his nose. “Nothing, Your Majesty.”

The king stared at Jungkook for a few more moments before he dismissed the other guards in the room.

“Gentleman, if you’d kindly take your leave for a moment – I need to have a discussion with my son. Two of you may remain posted at the door in case you’re needed.”

The guards obeyed quickly, bowing as they exited.

Jungkook scoffed. “So now I’m your ‘son?’ I’m surprised that word still exists in your vocabulary where I’m concerned.”

“Jungkook, be quiet!” The king raised his voice as a warning and slammed his fist against the table, stopping Jungkook’s jabs in their tracks.

“Regardless of your faults and any heinous acts you may have committed, you are still my son. Whether I like it or not.”

Jungkook hated how those words caused a dull ache in his chest.

“And because you are my son, that is why you are still allowed to be here in the first place. Do you ever think about how easy it would’ve been to toss you on the street like some mere commoner,” the king spat, his own outward frustration mirroring what Jungkook felt on the inside.

“You only tell me every chance you get, how could I not?”

“Watch your tone with me, boy. I am not above throwing you in the dungeon for insubordination.”

Jungkook was well aware. At this rate, he had his own personal cell with how often his father (and more so his brother) felt the need to send him there.

“Can we go back to what this ‘meeting’ is supposed to entail? Why is their princess involved?”

The king squared his shoulders and smiled. “They’ve offered a marriage proposal.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, a what?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. The king’s eldest daughter, Princess Mina, is being offered as a marriage candidate for Prince Yoongi.”

“And Yoongi agreed to this?”

The king frowned at Jungkook’s continued lack of formality before he nodded. “He’s been preparing for it for a while now.”

Jungkook clenched his fist under the table.

“Fucking unbelievable,” Jungkook muttered, a few seconds from leaving the meeting altogether in order to give the prince a piece of his mind.

“Language,” the king reminded him sternly.

“Look, fa- Your Majesty. With all due respect to you, I think this is a terrible idea.”

“Please do enlighten me as to why you feel that way.”

Jungkook sighed as he rubbed his temples. “Arranged marriages amongst royals never seem to work out well from what I’ve seen. Arranged marriages amongst anyone just seems like a poor idea.”

“Your mother and I married as part of an arrangement, and we turned out fine.”

Jungkook would beg to differ, but that was an entirely different conversation for some other time.

“I just think it’s odd that he would accept this proposal when he’s already involved with someone else.”

Finally, it was the king’s turn to look taken aback. “Whatever do you mean?”

‘He doesn’t know,’ Jungkook realized.

“Don’t worry about it, I just assumed he already had someone in mind is all.”

“Unlike you, the prince seems to be able to keep his mind off of finding love amongst the common rabble outside the castle walls.”

Jungkook winced.

“Additionally, if he did already have someone in mind, I’m sure I would’ve heard about it by now.”

“You know better than I would,” Jungkook lied. He knew that Yoongi kept many, many secrets from their parents, which is why he’d always been the favorite. They never got a glimpse of his true nature, but unfortunately for Jungkook, he got to see all of it.

“Indeed,” the king said with finality, marking the end of that conversation. “Now, back to the preparations for the event-”

“I’ll handle it,” Jungkook sounded much more deflated than when he entered the room. Animosity exhausted him.

“Good. I expect nothing less of you. I don’t expect much from you to start with, but I at least anticipate you will do your job.”

Another mindless insult. Jungkook stopped keeping count of how many times his father shamed him years ago after the scandal first broke.

If anyone asked him, he’d even go so far as to say his father’s love for him died the same day his human life ended.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, the queen and I have other matters to attend to before tomorrow.” The king got up from the table and walked off, not even bothering to see if Jungkook would also make way to leave. Before he exited through the door, he turned back one last time to look at Jungkook.

“Don’t make me regret letting you stay here. This is the most important thing the kingdom has faced since you were a child, and if you mess it up somehow, being exiled will be the least of your worries.”

Jungkook received the threat with a solemn stare, no more words spoken as he was then left alone in the large room.

On the way back to his chambers, Jungkook had a lapse in judgment. He turned and let his feet carry him to his new destination, landing three hard knocks on the door before it opened quickly.

“What?” An annoyed tone filtered through the open doorway. “Oh – it’s just you.”

Yoongi’s hair was less disheveled than it had been earlier, but it was clear he was now trying to get himself ready for later activities in the day.

“What do you want?” Yoongi crossed his arms as he leaned against the doorframe, not allowing Jungkook any space to enter the room.

Not that he really wanted to, anyway. He just needed to know one thing.

“Does she know?”

Yoongi blinked in confusion. “Does who know about what? You gotta be more specific, I can’t read your mind-”

“Does she know,” Jungkook interrupted, more sternly this time. “What’s happening tomorrow. Does she know?”

He had to ask. As much as he loathed her now, he still thought she deserved better than to be cheated on and discarded like she was nothing.

Even if that’s exactly what she’d done to him.

Jungkook watched as Yoongi’s eyes sparked with amusement when he finally understood. “Aeris? Yeah, she knows. She actually just left by the way; sorry you didn’t get to see her again.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed.

“So she knows and she’s fine with it?”

“Yeah, I mean – she gets it a ‘thing’ I have to do. It’s completely transactional and I’m only doing it for the betterment of the kingdom.”

Yoongi was lying through his teeth and Jungkook wanted to wipe his smug grin off his face. His entire life Yoongi had been selfish and only looked out for himself, so this idea that he was doing it to help the people living in the kingdom?

Absolutely preposterous.

Jungkook needed a fucking break. He needed to get away, clear his head before he had to come back and deal with everything else tomorrow.

He walked off without another word, something he knew Yoongi hated – which is most of the reason why he’d done it.

“You know,” Yoongi shouted after him, “I think bitterness suits you. It’s a good look since it matches the rest of your miserable demeanor!”

Jungkook ignored him and continued walking, not stopping until he reached his favorite spot in the entire castle.

He would often come up to the highest balcony, somewhere he could be alone with his thoughts and not have the added stress of other’s opinions for a short while.

The balcony was all but abandoned as he was the only one to frequent it. The only crime he’d ever say he committed was stealing the key to the door that granted access up here. After a while, everyone else forgot about it, so he was able to keep this spot hidden. A place of his own, where he didn’t have to worry about being found.

A place of his own where his thoughts could run wild. A place of his own where his demons continued to follow him despite his best efforts.

A place of his own where he could just be alone.

After all, that’s what was best for everyone, right?

Jungkook couldn’t help but wonder, as he’d done many times before, what his life would be like now if he hadn’t been attacked. His entire life – as a prince, as an official royal family member, as a living, breathing human – was cut short in the blink of an eye. His humanity as he knew it was gone in an instant.

If it hadn’t happened, though, where would he be now? Would it be him getting ready to marry someone for political gain instead of his brother?

He shook his head as he let out a humorless chuckle. He knew he’d fight that decision with everything he had, and for he first time since it had been stripped away from him, he was relieved he wasn’t in that kind of position anymore.

The thought of sharing his life with someone he didn’t truly care about, whether it was for the greater good or not, just didn’t seem right, nor did it seem fair. Not to mention the fact that it didn’t just include him: someone’s else’s life would be affected just as much as his.

It dawned on him then that he was standing here, genuinely putting thought into how he would handle such a situation. He wasn’t some cold, heartless being. He still had the ability to care for others, and that alone gave him some sort of hope.

He looked up at the moon, admiring how the light spilled through the branches of the tree overhead.

“Maybe I still have some humanity left after all.”

lady-in-waiting (noun) a woman of noble birth who serves a female monarch as a member of the royal household.

“Please hold still, Your Highness,” you huffed with thinly veiled frustration as you tried to lace up the corset you were currently working on.

You made a mental note to go shopping later in order to find better dresses for the princess. They still would be ones that were just as extravagant, but hopefully didn’t give you a blood pressure spike to assist with.

“Oh please, what’s with the formal treatment? It’s just us right now, you don’t have to do that, you know.”

“Yes, but,” you tugged once more, finally letting out a sigh of relief when the strings worked how you wanted them to. “With the event happening soon, it’s better for me to get back into the habit.”

Being best friends with the princess granted you some privileges that you were grateful for. When it was just the two of you, you didn’t have to uphold this extra formal, fancy attitude and instead you both got to be much more laid-back. You knew she appreciated it just as much as - if not more than - you, since she was held to a higher standard and scrutinized more heavily.

However, by the kingdom’s definition, you were first and foremost her lady-in-waiting, which ranked above any and all other duties you had in the royal court. Which, unfortunately, meant that at certain times your role took precedence over your friendship, and that was just the way it had to be.

“Ugh, I can’t wait for all this stupid royal relations stuff to be over.”

“Mina-”

She held up a hand. “Let me get it out, then you can scold.”

You waited patiently, fixing the other parts of the dress while she rambled on for the umpteenth time about her dislike for the event happening soon.

“…I mean this is a rival kingdom, we don’t even like them, so why bother. You know?”

“Mhm,” you hummed as you agreed honestly. It did seem like a stretch for your kingdom to try and force relations with one who had been a long-standing rival. The way you saw it, if after all these years and prior failed attempts had yet to work, what made the king think this would be any different?

Of course, there was now the added factor of a new bargaining chip: the king and queen were offering one of their daughters as a potential marriage candidate for the other kingdom’s prince.

Mina, being the oldest princess in line, begrudgingly accepted for the sake of the kingdom.

The plan had been set in motion months prior, but it was all finally happening tomorrow – both you and Mina were on edge, anticipating the worst but hoping for the best.

What was supposed to happen seemed simple enough: the king would accompany the princess on her visit to the other kingdom, escorted heavily by guards and with you at her side, as you always were. She would meet the prince officially for the first time, and both kings would try to strike up some sort of arrangement.

You figured this would actually be more beneficial for them, seeing as their kingdom was still recovering from a huge scandal that happened a few years ago. You remembered it vividly, taking note of how the abruptness of it all never sat right with you.

The eldest prince stepped down from his position as next in line for the throne, following some sort of act that was only described as ‘utterly disgraceful’ and never really elaborated on in the public news.

Before the news broke, the kingdom was well known for its power and influence all over the land, and the downfall from it all landed a huge blow to their standing. It aided your own kingdom in rising above them in their rivalry, but it appeared that now your own monarchs wanted to put everything behind them and unite for…whatever reason.

You tried not to get too deeply involved in the politics. Your duty was to serve Mina, and the royal family as a whole – this didn’t leave you much room to voice your own opinions.

Mina’s soft calling of your name pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Yes?”

Any frustration you had left from the dress fiasco quickly evaporated when you saw her face. She was biting her lip, and in that moment she looked very meek, small. Very unlike the exuberant, confident young woman you knew.

“I’m scared.”

You sighed at that, pulling her into a hug that she gratefully accepted. This was this first time she had outright said it, but you could tell she was terrified from the moment she was first told about this arrangement months ago.

“I know,” you patted her back. You wanted to tell her everything would be alright, that it would all work out, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Lying to someone to provide them comfort was never something you could get behind, and you didn’t plan to start now.

“I promise you, though, that whatever happens, we’ll get through it together.” You didn’t feel bad saying that because it was the truth; you were ready to face anything when it came to Mina, and you’d do anything for her.

She was basically the most important person in your life, and you’d be damned if you let anything bad happen to her.

Well…anything short of letting her go through with a marriage to a man she’d never met.

Just as your duty to her came first, her duty to her kingdom came first. You knew it and respected it, even if you didn’t always like it.

Mina giggled, her frame shaking slightly in your hold. “It almost sounds like you’re the one I’m supposed to be marrying,” she teased.

You joined in her laughter. “I mean, I don’t think it would yield quite the same results-”

“We both know we’d be arrested before we could even say ‘I do.’” Mina joked, despite her dark attempt at humor having a level of truth to it.

“A princess marrying her lady-in-waiting?” You covered your heart and pretended to be appalled. “Imagine the scandal!”

Mina shoved you lightheartedly, her laughter echoing off the walls. She looked miles happier than she’d been a few minutes prior, and you were relieved to see it.

“C’mon, help me with my hair or we’re gonna be late.” Mina collected her hairbow from her dresser and handed it to you so you could tie up her hair in the back. When you were done, she glanced quickly in the mirror and nodded, pleased with the result.

“Is there anything else you need to do?”

You gave yourself a once-over in the mirror as well and decided that your outfit would have to do. It wasn’t bad by any means, but if you had a little more time, you probably could’ve spruced it up some more.

“All good here. After you, my Lady.” You made a grand gesture out of letting her go first, which earned you another light shove.

“Cut that out! We still have a few minutes of freedom left before we have to be formal.”

You chuckled. “You got it.”

✧───────⊱✧⊰───────✧

You accompanied Mina to her final etiquette training before the big day. Everything she learned was more of a refresher than new material, but her nervousness kept her from doing her best, which led to her being reprimanded by the queen.

“How can you expect to marry someone if you can’t play the part of a prim and proper princess?”

Mina bit her tongue, as she usually did with her mother, and you expected to get an earful from her later about the situation. To your surprise, instead of venting, she was quiet and calm upon returning to her chambers.

Before she was ready to sleep for the night, you checked in one her one last time. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

With a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, she responded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

✧───────⊱✧⊰───────✧

You had never woken up more stressed out in your entire life.

All your training had culminated in this moment. You were to make sure that the princess arrived safely along with her appointed guards, and it was also up to you to make sure that everything went off without a hitch.

Such a small responsibility, right? What could possibly go wrong?

Well, for starters-

The castle you found yourself in was much larger than you anticipated, which was saying a lot considering the castle you lived in was already rather large.

Also, you weren’t the best with directions, but as long as you and Mina didn’t get separated, that shouldn’t be a problem.

And it wasn’t a problem…until it came time for her to meet the prince.

“We’re sorry, miss, but only high-ranking royal officials can be present for this meeting.” A guard held out his arm, blocking you from following Mina into the room. She frowned and tried to protest on your behalf, but her father wasn’t having any of it.

“She’ll be fine, we need to get a move on.” He grabbed a hold of her elbow and ushered her along, and you got one last look at her worried countenance before the doors closed.

Now was when the panic set in.

“I-I need water. Or just- something.” You said it aloud but didn’t really know if anyone would hear you or help you for that matter.

Thankfully, the guard who had just cut you off was kind enough to give you directions to the kitchen and dining area. You’d been there not too long ago when everyone was eating the meal that had been prepared, so surely – you thought – it wouldn’t be an issue to stop by and get a drink to calm your nerves.

That plan worked for all of about ten minutes before you re-entered the hallway from the dining room only to find nobody was around. No guards, no passerby, nothing.

It didn’t help that, from what you had seen, most hallways looked nearly identical.

You were officially lost. Alone, panicking, and lost in a castle you’d never been to before with no one in sight to help. Unsure of what else to do, since walking around aimlessly definitely did not seem like a good idea, you did what any normal person would do.

You sat down on the floor and wrapped your arms around your legs, resting your head on top of your knees.

This had to be your worst nightmare. You were separated from Mina, the one person other than yourself who you were responsible for taking care of, and you were also stuck in unfamiliar territory which was one of your biggest fears.

None of your training ever prepared you for this-

“Are you alright, miss?”

A soft voice filtered through your thoughts, making your head snap up. Your breath got caught in your throat.

There was a man kneeling down in front of you, his hand extended as he offered you a gentle smile.

Suddenly, your situation didn’t seem like such a nightmare anymore.

A/N: thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

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