Tumgik
#and i just. straight up do Not feel well. but i guess i can work on my paper outline a bit more?
golvio · 3 days
Text
Some spoilers for Hades 2 early access regarding Chronos below the cut.
He did not look or sound at all like what I expected, but I now immediately understand why all of his adult children are Like That, as well as why they’d quickly drop their previous squabbles and band together to try to get rid of him when he tried to force himself back into their lives. I instantly recognized every single trick he tried to pull on Mel when he first met her to try to manipulate her or put her down to “put her in her place” from other people’s descriptions of their own shitty, appearance-obsessed control freak parents with untreated personality disorders. I think the more understated delivery really works for him, particularly with that underlying paternalistic edge of absolute certainty and treating his enemies like misbehaving children who need to be reminded who’s in charge, even if they’re grown-ass adults. I also feel absolutely terrible for Hades, given that dear ol’ dad is trying to reassert control over him by “taking away his toys” and trashing everything he’d worked so hard to build in order to force him back into his original position of childlike dependency. It’s been almost 20 years and he *really* hasn’t finished “renovations” and fixed up the throne room? He doesn’t give a shit about actually maintaining the realm, just punishing Hades for trying to emancipate himself and be an independent adult by asserting ownership over all of Hades’ stuff and forcing him to watch as Daddy Dearest destroys everything he loved. He pretends to be absolutely rational and objective, but he’s actually a pathetic, emotionally immature piece of shit who throws manipulative tantrums and breaks things to bully his own children into compliance, and I can’t believe Mel has to waste her life fighting this loser who’s got nothing better to do than bully his barely-adult granddaughter. Kudos to Supergiant for making one of the most skincrawling depictions of an abusive dad ever.
But, also, now it makes a bit more sense for Hecate to have raised Mel in isolation—it’s easier to blow off an abusive relative’s appeals to authority when they’re a complete stranger to you. However, it’s also interesting that her early meetings with Chronos are the first time polite, deferential Melinoë has just straight-up told an adult trying to pull rank to fuck off. But that might be because she’s got no memories of him or fondness for him, so there’s no sense of filial piety or family obligation that would otherwise make her blame or second-guess herself. She has a slightly harder time with her, uh, more assertive Olympian relatives who she has more of a personal connection to and are slightly more subtle and “nice” about trying to goad her in specific directions. However, I also think Mel meeting Artemis and Hermes first and them warning her in advance about how overbearing the rest of the family can be might’ve inoculated her somewhat, even if she’s more like her dad in that she lacks the more intuitive way with people Zagreus has and isn’t as certain how to use her own charisma as leverage.
Anyways, I hope Melinoë kicks her Peepaw’s ass, but, given the type of real-life personality he has, I’m not sure if that’s actually going to make him stop or change short of a White Diamond-level epiphany where he realizes what a piece of shit he’s been to his own children and willingly fucks off out of his grandkid’s life forever.
93 notes · View notes
gracejh08 · 2 days
Text
Breaking the media
Chapter 6- You're okay now
The days after had been hard yet you had managed to keep yourself under control and almost push the incident in the past. Alexia had advised you took the next few days of however you didn't want to miss training before the first game you weren't promised to play but there was a good chance you were making it to the bench. Like normal training was enjoyable but this time it was different all the girls had to do a weekly check with the physio just to make sure nothing was wrong and everyone was up to standard for the match. You had thought nothing of it as you had made your way into the room and were greeted by the physio "hola y/n" he said as you sat on to the medical bed. You had been here quite a few times so you knew what the protocol was just testing muscle tightness and how well your joints were working.
The first half was going smoothly until he placed his hand on your upper thigh just where the man had a week prior. The memory flashback in your mind as you became panicked and you curled up in ball hiding your face from him hyperventilating. The physio was frozen in what to do he couldn't just leave you but he couldn't console you either so he did the next best thing and went to where the girls were sat waiting for thier appointment "guys i have a slight issue, i was just doing movement checks and when i put my hand on y/ns leg shes gone... i guess panicked im not sure" he said staring at the girls almost blankly. Alexia had heard this and she bolted straight to the room where she found you a curled up ball sobbing. Yet you almost look terrified the air wasn't coming in or out it was stuck making your panic worse than before "hey pequeña, im here its okay can i hold you" she asked walking towards you. Then no response came you were so trapped in your mind it was hard to snap you out of it. Alexia had no clue what to do so she did what she thought best call for ingrid she had her fair share of panic attacks and was sure she knew what to do.
Ingrid had recived the text from alexia and she swiftly moved herself from the arm chair she was sat on to the the physio room. She opened the door and it was exactly what she feared it was the feeling where nothing is going in or out and everything is overstimulating from the feeling of your clothes to just the loose hairs whisping off your neck. She sprung herself into action she knew how to deal with panic attacks but ones caused by something so triggering and from recently she didn't know much about. "Y/n can you look at me" she said while crouching at your level still there was no response it was like you were in your own world one surrounded with thoughts of him and the way his words spat at you the way he stared as though you were an object. She waited a couple seconds and began to repeat her question but still no response came from you only the sound of your laboured breathing. Ingrid was almost lost for anything to do she was completely out of luck and she felt a dash of worry for you as your condition didnt change, therefore it lead to doing the only thing she knew what to do. 'Y/n im going to touch your hand okay" she said reaching her hand out slowly towards you and she placed it on your shaking hands you look down and instead of the expecting reaction of you holding it and breaking out of your thoughts your mind was so clouded with him the thought of someone touching you was almost as bad. "GET AWAY FROM ME....PLEASE" you yelled standing up from the floor and the two girls swiftly followed you to thier feet.
There it was you looked into alexias eyes and the fear in her eyes almost crushed you and you just collapsed into her arms realising what you had done and it wasnt him it was your friend, your teamate who you'd just shouted at. You clung to her as though she was your life line "im sorry im so sorry i wont do it again" you repeated into her shoulder through sobs. Alexia just rubs her hands on your back and through your hair as her and ingrid glance at eachother of almost panic and a sense of relief. You finally calm down and let go of alexia the corner of her jumper drenched in your tears yet she makes no remarks you walk over to ingrid and hig her tightly "im so sorry for shouting at you i didnt mean it i promise" you say burried into her shoulder "its okay love i know you didn't" she says back to you. "However I think you should go home and get some rest" she added pulling out of the hug to see your tear stained face the tear tracks still prominent on your cheeks.
Alexia had excused herself for a minute to compose herself she was so built up with worry over you and the fact you hadn't said anything the past week had really bothered her but you were young and probably trying to put on a brave face for her. "Come on pequeña lets get you some sleep" she said putting her head round the corner of the door. You had made it back home when you had sat on the couch. "Ale can we watch a movie" you asked her "sure whatever you want" she replied joining you on the couch. You played your favourite movie and you didnt mean to but it just sort of happened as the movie progressed, slowly you made your way to alexias side and leant into her "is this okay?" You said in an almost whisper tone "of course pequeña" she said wrapping her arms around you and running her finger nails through your hair. You slowly adjusted into her side and the longer it went you fell asleep on alexias shoulder it felt like home and for alexia it felt like peace knowing you were safe and in arms reach.
70 notes · View notes
Text
Friday Friendship
Hey there! This one is kind of a spiritual successor to Calling the Plumber - and as such, it is one of the rare gay to straight stories of mine. While I do try to keep it friendly and without any homophobia or hate, feel free not read the story if you don't like g2s!
It was hard to overlook Montgomery and Archibald. Of course, that was always the case. But here, on the dirty construction site of their new home, the expensive silk suits of the couple stood out even more than elsewhere. Yes, the two of them were together - and they made sure everybody knew it. Not only were the two gentlemen standing in a tight hug whenever possible, but their flamboyant and colorful clothing left little doubt about their sexuality.
They were those kind of gays that conservatives were afraid of. Both were old enough to have been alive during the stonewall riots, although only Montgomery was actually there as a teenager. Still, the aged couple embodied everything the gay community prided itself on having achieved during the last decades.
Tumblr media
Their house, too, would be a statement. The mansion was the largest construction in the area, and the most expensive one. It was going to be built on a large hill, overlooking the town, and its style was... extravagant. The house was to be built in a modern architectural style, but the two men had insisted that the walls would be entirely covered in rainbow colors, although that was still in the future by now. Surrounding the mansion would be a magnificent garden, a park even.
"My dear, are you satisfied with the construction?" Archibald asked his husband in his lime green suit. Montgomery had dyed his hair in an orange-pink tone today and wore a purple tie to his green suit. It was hardly the first building site he visited, since he had made a fortune in real estate.
Archibald, on the other hand, was a bit more conservatively dressed. His suit was a more subdued shade of beige, although his tie was of a bright sky blue color. He usually didn't dye his hair, and today was no exception: He wore the gray with pride, although he spent a fortune on hair and skin care products. He, too, had a respectable job as a top manager in a logistics company.
"Well, darling, I'm not sure yet." Montgomery replied. "I want it to look great, and the work has been good so far. But frankly, it feels that the workers motivation is somewhat underwhelming."
"I think I know what you mean, my dear." Archibald commented as they walked through the empty shell. "It is barely three in the afternoon on a Friday, and there isn't anyone around anymore. The workers must be out partying already. I can't fault them for that, but it is rather annoying, isn't it?"
"Indeed. It would have been nice if they were a little less lazy, though. The garden is behind schedule, and I believe the electrics are going to be delayed by another month."
"That is quite unfortunate."
Montgomery nodded and they walked a bit in silence. It was true. There was still a lot to do, and it looked like the workers left early for the weekend.
Finally, Archibald sighed.
"I guess I could take a look at the progress the electricians are making. I do know a bit or two about this. Maybe then we can talk to the foreman about their work. It's a pity that we cannot supervise every little thing here, but our jobs demand a lot of our time. If only we had a bit more hands-on control."
"My, what a fabulous idea! I will take a stroll through the garden then, to get a better picture there."
The husbands kissed each other on the lips as they split up and Archibald opened the fuse box. He had indeed done a bit of electrical maintenance in his prime, so he knew that what he saw in the box was nothing less than a mess. He sighed and was about to close the box again, but hesitated. No, he couldn't leave the mess like that. He would just tidy things up a bit, to show those inexperienced workers how it was done.
Carefully, he began to work on the wires, but before long, he felt uncomfortable. The fuse box was located in the bright afternoon sun, and it was just positively hot here. Still, not wanting to leave his work, he slipped out of his jacket and hung it over a nearby wall. He didn't notice that the piece of clothing disappeared once he turned away, nor did he notice that his hands became nimbler as he rearranged the wires.
Montgomery on the other hand found the garden construction even less advanced than he had hoped. Even worse, someone had left a few plants out in the heat. They would surely be dead by the time the construction continued on Monday. Montgomery couldn't let that happen. This garden would be beautiful, and no plant would die under his watch.
He carefully carried the plants to the place they were supposed to be. Of course, he knew - he had planned the park all by himself, so he knew where everything was supposed to go. As he arrived at the shady place, he understood why the plants hadn't been placed yet. The ground was wet and muddy, and there weren't any holes yet. He would need to talk to the foreman about that, but the man was surely already in the weekend as well. There was, however, a shovel nearby. Now, aside from ceremonial groundbreaking, Montgomery had never held a shovel. It wasn't that he didn't understand the concept, but he was just not the type for physical labor.
Well. He looked over his shoulder to his husband, who was apparently still busy looking at the fuse box. It seems like he had some time on his hands, so he might as well. Grimacing, he grabbed the shovel and carefully stepped on the soil, trying not to ruin his expensive shoes or pants. That worked well, for about two steps. But as soon as he tried to break the ground with the shovel, a big clump of wet soil splattered on his lime green silk pants.
Montgomery frowned. Well, that suit was ruined anyway. No reason to stop there. Determined, he pulled the shirt out of his pants and opened his vest. He wasn't going to ruin his custom tailored suit for no reason.
Meanwhile, Archie was getting into his work even more. From time to time, he had to wipe his brow, though, as he was sweating like an animal. His dress shirt was stained with multiple sweat stains already and didn't really *look* like a dress shirt anymore, but more casual. The same could be said for the rest of Archie as well. A certain youth had returned to his face, as he was concentrated on his work. This way, he didn't notice when his hairstyle dissolved into an unkempt mess or when a bit of stubble grew in on his chin. His shirt clung to his body now, drenched in sweat. It had long ceased to be a dress shirt though but had become a plain - although rather filthy - beige t-shirt. His tie was nowhere to be seen.
Due to the wetness, the shirt didn't leave much to imagination regarding his body. Not just his face had rejuvenated, no, his entire body had. He was leaner and his muscles firmer now. Out of the V-neck of his sweaty shirt poked a few golden hairs, and before long, his main hair had turned into a Nordic blonde, as well.
Meanwhile, Monty was digging like crazy. He had to get those plants in the ground, or the foreman would... Wait, what was he thinking?
He stopped for a moment, to scratch his head. Thinking was not his strong point, and Monty knew that. But he had other qualities, that made up for that. When he grabbed the shovel again, to keep digging, he heard a ripping sound that made him stop again. The shoulder of his shirt had ripped. His boss was going to kill him! Although, it appeared somewhat strange to him that he was wearing such a colorful and impractical shirt. Perhaps there weren't any other shirts left?
He looked around and saw only one of the electricians still on the site. He knew the guy, he was friendly enough. He surely wouldn't mind if Monty went shirtless for a bit. With an effort not to damage the clothing even more, he peeled out of the garment. He was only half successful with that, and a few more rips sounded before he had finished taking it off.
Monty looked down at his muscular and hairy torso. The cold air was good, and he wasn't afraid to get dirty.
With every movement of the shovel, his arm muscles tightened, and his frame filled out more. A short beard sprouted on his chin, and his now full earthy brown hair shortened to a more practical cut. It wasn't like he had money for an expensive hairdresser, after all.
Finally, he had the holes ready and wiped his hands on his sturdy pair of work pants. Now, he only had to put the plants in. Despite his impressive physique, Manny was always very careful with the flowers, and he made sure that none of the roots got damaged or that he didn't break the stem.
He looked at his work. Good, that would look great, once the plants grew. Someday, he would have a garden of his own, and a house like that. And a beautiful wife and two, no, three children. But that was still a long way to go, with his poor pay.
Tumblr media
Someone behind him cursed and Manny looked back to the electrician.
Chad was still sweating like crazy as he worked the wires. His mates had all gone to the clubs by now and he was stuck here and had to fix the mess he had created. That was only fair, but he wished the foreman wouldn't have noticed until Monday. He had to hurry up, though. He didn't want to spend his Friday night on the site, after all. Perhaps he would even get lucky and find a guy... No, what was he thinking? Working on these fruits' house had made him all confused. No, perhaps he would find a busty bombshell to take home tonight. Chad felt his cock growing hard at the thought, creating an obvious bulge in his work pants. Great, more distraction.
Chad tried to readjust himself, just in time as he sensed the big burly gardener approach. He knew the guy loosely but had forgotten his name already - if he even had known it at all.
"Hey, everything alright with them wires?" the low voice of the brute asked in a friendly tone.
"Yeah, I just need to finish up here... Should be done aaaaany minute now..."
Manny watched Chad connect the last wires. Poor guy. His t-shirt was soaked with sweat, and he looked like he was really hot and stressed out.
"Cool. It's no fun working late, and on a Friday. Hey, do you want to hit a bar after that? I could go for a cold one."
Chad looked over his shoulder at the bear of a man. Was that guy hitting on him? Na, his face only showed dumb innocence.
He shrugged. "Sure, why not, eh..."
"Name's Manny." Manny said.
"Great. Manny." Chad said and closed the now somewhat better looking fuse box before wiping away his sweat once more.
"I'm Chad."
Tumblr media
Manny and Chad left the building site together this Friday afternoon. Neither of them knew that they were going to become best friends over this and many more beers. Manny turned out to be a great wingman for Chad, and Chad even ended up as Manny's best man during his wedding and godfather for his first child. Sometimes the closest friendships are forged in the Friday afternoon sun of a construction site.
88 notes · View notes
saschax · 3 days
Note
Hello! I hope you are in good health.
I was wondering, can you do an alphabet with Ghost? Please, and thank you.
Take your time! <3
hello, and i am in good health.
yes, and your welcome..
i hope this is okay, my first time doing this!
Tumblr media
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
ghost is not affectionate, at all. he is the opposite, antisocial, distant, detached.. reader will only find him affectionate if he's delirious or drunk.
and if reader happens to find him in either situations- which is rare, he'll show affections by just.. touching. he's touch starved, and since he is in a delirious or drunken state, he doesn't know what he's doing.
most likely will pass out, with his head into your neck.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
hm, best friend..?
you'll have to be in the team, task force 141. otherwise, ghost does not interact with strangers. now, best frienddss?...
years, years of work together. years of staying alive, and mutual respect.
be admirable! be impressive, try and catch his eye. if you manages to beat him in sort some of a competition, he'll respect you more.
( i personally think you can beat him if you play your cards right. i think ghost is a risk-taker, so.. use that to your advantage.. i guess. )
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
no.
gO aWay! he'll throw you across the room if you fuckin' cuddle with him! he has claustrophobia, and help me god if you lay on top of him-
anyways, no. no cuddling.
go.
get out.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
NO, no and nO!
he is an workaholic, and his friends dying- might i add, in front of him, only encouraged him to pursue his work.
he is guilty, he feels like their deaths is his fault. and to honour their deaths, he'll continue his line of work.
running away from his work is cowardiance, and a disgrace to his friends' deaths.
no. if he settles down, he can't bear the haunting grief setting on him.
he lives, and got to settle down.
they didn't.
and he (didn't) caused their deaths.
he doesn't deserve to settle down and rest, not after all he done.
the souls of his friends' faces looking at him, with teary eyes. saying "why are you resting?? after you got us killed?? why aren't you getting revenge for us?? you traitor-"
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
straight up to your face. he seen much worse. he'll just bluntly say "i'm done with you, its over."
he has nothing to lose.. well, he lied.
he's not over, he just wanted to end the relationship because he doesn't deserve this, and he feels like you could get a better guy.
a whole man, not half of a man; like him, a shell of a human being.
and he is sort of holding you back from touching him, he doesn't trust you very much either.. so this relationship is hardly beneficial to both parties.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
he is very committed.
not.
if he thinks you're going to dump him, he'll dump you first- to save him from the pain of abandonment.
no marriages, he'd cry, crumble and break again if he sees you in a wedding dress.
he doesn't deserve this, go away go away go away-
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
physically, he's.. cautious but not? for example, if you and him are training. he'll go sheer hard and will use everything he have against you.
no exceptions.
a woman? who cares, lets fight. you're in a goddamn military for fuck's sake. no one is going to go easy on you in real combat.
( you get hurt alot because of him )
EMOTIONALLY?
eMOtIONALLY??
this man, is stone hard, cold, blunt, brash, sassy, and act like he HATES you with his GUTS. he does not let you close. sure, he'll say a few words here and there, but he's not actively revealing his personality to you.
stone cold, ghost.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
hates hugs. it reminds him of his family, roach and johnny all at the same time.
never, he doesn't do it once. even if you and him are best friends. you tried hugging him once (he was having a mental breakdown), he punched you square in the face and shakily left the room.
.. no one knows how his hugs are like, everyone who felt his embrace died and never could tell the story.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
never, and not fast at all. he hates that word too. again, his past.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
doesn't really gets jealous? more like sad if he sees you hanging out with another man more.
abandonment, but again, he did keep pushing you away..
his fault, i guess.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
he never kissed. i dont know.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
i think he is a gentle man when it comes to them, he looks out for them of course. but he doesn't really .. hug.. or do affectionate behaviors- bending down, makes him smaller- less frightening to the kids- he doesn't really do this.
more like a guard dog around them.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
you dont know, he's never there when you wakes up. he's up and gone.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
he appears rarely. and if he is sleeping next to you, he'll have some sort of barrier (aka, pillows) blocking you from touching/reaching out to him.
you keep waking up because he keeps squirming.
you get used to this eventually.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
I DO not think ghost will reveal things about himself.
he'll just be a different character around you, but never exactly saying his identity (aka, age, full name, how his parents was like, his backstory, etc). just more softer, kinder, and more.. willing if he warms up to you.
does. not. share. his emotions.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
he's very patient, a patient man indeed. no.
he's not patient, he just sounds patient. inside, he's angry.
and every now and then, you'll encounter his outbursts on you. bottled up feelings, leashing hell.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)
remembers everything, but he will forget sometimes.
R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)
when he made you laugh, a geninue laugh. it felt nice to make someone happy and not make them upset/sad/annoyed.. y'know...
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
he's protective but not. depends. if you're hanging with a friend, he won't be "HmMmm, ARE YOU SUSPSICOIOUSS???" or try to y'know, get you away.
how? get a guard dog, and he'll also train you about self defense, and what-to-do if this happens.
does not feel the need to be protected by you, and he thinks its a bit offensive. you think he can't protect himself??
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
he does put a lot of effort, however, no dates, or anniversaries...
he'll give you plenties of gfits!
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
a really bad texter, so expect to get left on read often.. and! staring.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
not insecure about his looks, he knows he looks good. but he is a bit nervous when it comes to showing his scars.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
he's already incomplete, wouldn't make any difference. although, it does make a slightly more void in his life.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
doesn't sleep often. he's the type to just..stare at his ceiling or longue around in his room and wait til another mission comes up or something.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
dislikes laziness, in terms of your work ethic. likes somebody who is as committed and hard-working as he is to their job.
HATES. betrayals (also one of the reason why he doesn't quit his working)!! and he does not like dependent people.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
he usually fall asleep on sofas, or on uncomfortable things. the bed is wayy too soft for him, not used to it..
NEED SOME LIGHT ON!! in the dark, he sees faces and it creeps him out.
he doesn't like it, so he need some light if he want to sleep better.
46 notes · View notes
ceriisetheflower · 1 day
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Self Care (M)
omega!renjun
wc: 4.8k
synopsis: renjun decides to take on his first heat the best way he knows how, as luxuriously as possible.
cw: smut...a lot of it. in immense detail. sex toys, pornography, multiple orgasms, unrealistic amounts of cum, stomach bulge, male squirting/watersports (depending on what you consider squirt to be lmao), overstimulation, cum eating, dildo sucking, mentions of fictional heat related illnesses, america-centric world building, a bitch with no friends attempting friendly dialogue.
a/n: well here it is! first full fic. believe it or not this was meant to be no longer than 1k, then i realized i get kinda pissed when fics don't include enough context for elements in the fic so i'd be a hypocrite if i didn't paint a likely unnecessarily vivid picture. feedback is much appreciated!
we love u very dearly junnie B💛
❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈
The sound of the dryer finishing its freshly washed load of delicates interrupted his fifth run through of his checklist. “Ok, let’s see….lube? Check. Waterproof blankets? Check. Three hour long Alpha on Alpha porn playlist? Check.” Renjun finally sighed with relief. It’s not everyday he obsesses over the amount of lube he has in his arsenal (he restocks his eight oz bottle of sliquid sassy every eight weeks on the dot), but it’s a special occasion. The special occasion.
He rebukes the term “late-bloomer”, despite the average age for an omega’s first heat occurring around eighteen. Renjun has always justified his lack of mating cycles with his ever present practicality. “You were absolutely ridiculous for a week straight until your heat broke.” He recalls to Donghyuck during their semi-regularly scheduled facetime catch-up they’ve adopted post grad school.
“I had so much going on freshman year, it would’ve made no sense for me to have to deal with a heat. Twenty-four is a way better age anyways, my prefrontal cortex is like eighty-five percent done, I can actually handle my brain being scrambled eggs for five days”. He says passively, ignoring the unimpressed look coming from the boy on the other side of the phone.
He unfortunately remembers the horrors of hearing Donghyuck’s first heat through their paper mache dorm room walls when they were eighteen, and the next heat three months later, and the next eighteen heats he endured as Donghyuck’s roommate. He’s convinced the boy has had enough heats for the both of them, especially considering Renjun was held solely responsible for ensuring his dear friend didn’t die of hunger or dehydration through them. It's a thankless job, but someone had to do it.
“Right, so I guess twenty-four is also the age where you’re finally gonna finish growing huh? Prime time to finally reach big boy height.” Donghyuck quips back, taking a break from grading assignments to goad the blonde boy giving him a deadpan stare through the phone.
“Bitch you’re literally 5’6 1/2 what are you talking about?” Renjun retorts, “it’s no way you’re calling me short when you just complained about how you cant find shoe lifts in canada.” Donghyuck widens his eyes in shock. “Talking about shoe lifts when you just begged me to ask Doyoung if he could hem those jeans 6 inches shorter is crazy work Renjun.” 
They continue their childlike bickering over their similarly petite frames for an unreasonable amount of time, before Donghyuck remembers the real reason for today’s meeting. “Ok but seriously, how are you feeling about this whole thing? I know it’s kinda a lot at once, be honest with me?” Donghyuck starts. He woke up two days ago to Renjun’s frenzied calls, knowing his friend was well aware that waking hours for him in Atlanta were still Donghyuck’s “dead to the world” hours in Vancouver, he was for certain there was an actual emergency.
Renjun had woken up with a pounding headache, abdominal cramps, and the unsettlingly wet mouth feel that comes right before vomiting. He knew what that meant, but refused to actually confront what was happening until Donghyuck got a look at him and convinced him to go to the omega urgent care. Donghyuck sat on the phone with him while he waited for the doctor, cheered as Renjun got the confirmation he was in pre-heat (much to Renjun’s dismay), and helped him pick the best painkillers to aid his cramps and headache. It was the best he could do from another country, fighting the urge to book a flight to go support his best friend in what’s easily the most important event in an omega's life. His husband only barely managed to convince him it was unnecessary and that they could just send him a nice care package in the mail on expedited shipping, Mark was always the level headed one in the relationship.
Renjun sighed before he could answer. “To keep it one-hundred percent real with you, I’m terrified. Like am I gonna be okay? What if I fuck up somehow and I end up never being able to have kids or something insane? Anything could happen?” Renjun said, ever the worrywort and full of trepidation about new experiences. Donghyuck scoffed, rolling his eyes at the catastrophization of the world’s most natural activity. “Friend, how could you possibly fuck up jerking off? You’ve had a solid twelve years of experience for this, relax!” Renjun shut his eyes and huffed in annoyance, “Obviously that’s not what I’m worried about idiot. I’m worried that I won’t be able to actually satisfy myself through the whole thing, and you know what happens if I can’t be fully satisfied.” Donghyuck sighs in acknowledgement.
Continuous Heating Syndrome, colloquially known as a heat frenzy, is a rare but unfortunate side effect of a heat that goes unsatiated. Nonstop migraines, vomiting, loss of motor function, seizures, or shit...even worse. Donghyuck has heard horror stories of omegas having perfectly normal heats that turn into three week stints at the hospital after they couldn’t break. Scary shit. Rare for all omegas, but increasingly likely for an unmated omega without consistent access to a knot, a category which Renjun unfortunately falls into. “Look at it this way” Donghyuck starts, “It’s not like you have no options at all. You don’t necessarily have to do this alone.” Renjun grimaces. He knows exactly where Donghyuck is going with this, and he’s not even remotely here for it.
 “I’m not calling the heat hotline.” Renjun was scared, not desperate. He had no reason to hire a random Alpha who needed extra money to come fuck him for five days straight, he could figure something else out for sure. “Oh girl please!” Donghyuck exclaims, “That’s literally exactly what you need right now! They’re super strict about testing so you won’t have to worry about that, plus it’s covered by your insurance? What is the issue?” Renjun rolls his eyes, ‘The issue is that you think i’m supposed to just randomly fuck the first alpha who doesn’t look like he snuck on the planet just to stop myself from going into a coma, I have options bitch!” 
Donghyuck scoffs, “Sure you do. Is now the time when Jen and Jae finally jump through the screen of their newest edging scene to keep you company through your heat? Porn only takes you so far, friend.” Renjun hates that Donghyuck knows him well enough to know he’s been anxiously scouring his favorite alpha pornstars’ onlyfans to find some semblance of relief through his rapidly approaching week of agony. “I have toys! So many toys! I don’t need an alpha at all, I have like six different vibrating cocks to choose from” Renjun grumbled. He was a fully self sufficient twenty-four year old omega who doesn’t need an alpha! Or so he continues to force himself to believe.
“If you’re gonna be stubborn about it, the least you can do is be safe.” Donghyuck says, his worried expression softening the defensive stance Renjun has adopted. “You do have someone nearby right? Just in case you need someone to check in on you in person?” “Of course, Yangyang and Chenle are in the building down the street, if I need a restock on anything or if I start overheating and dying I can call them.” Renjun replies, in an attempt to calm his friend from his concerns. “You’re not gonna die girl. Especially since I found the perfect thing to help you out!” Donghyuck beams, giving Renjun his signature “I’ve done something I know you won’t like but I’m smart enough to know it’s what you need" look.
“Is it a dick? Don’t buy me a dick Hyuck I swear to god.” Renjun says, “Is that what you’ve been doing this whole time? Dick shopping instead of feeling sorry for me? I can't believe this.” “If it makes you feel better it’s not a dick, you have so many other ones another would be excessive, even for me. You’re gonna love it though! All those fears of heat frenzy are gonna go right out the window!” Renjun eyes the brunette through the screen suspiciously, Donghyuck’s odd enthusiasm has been the catalyst to multiple cautionary tales Renjun is saving for his grandkids. Now might be the worst time to let his guard down. “I swear to god, if it’s something weird i’m sending it back and getting a restraining order.” Donghyuck giggles in nefarious delight, “It’ll be at your doorstep in two days!” Renjun groans in horror.
Renjun is shaken from his daydream riddled with Donghyuck’s alarming cackles by the sound of the doorbell being rang for the fourth time. “Oh! Coming, coming, so sorry!” He yells out, rushing to the front door to see his instacart delivery driver struggling to hold Renjun’s last minute groceries. The poor guy takes a deep breath and tries not to look nearly as phased as he is by Renjun’s sweet bergamot scent. “I-I wasn’t able to find the caramel pecan cookies, so I got you an extra box of kitchen sink cookies, I hope that’s ok?” The man stutters, clearly fighting the urge to comment on what smells like the sweetest omega he’d ever met. “Oh no worries! Thank you so much, they always go out of stock pretty quick.” Renjun replies, now increasingly aware of the alpha’s growing nervousness and intensified teakwood scent.
He hurries to grab the groceries from the boy and set them on his kitchen counter. “Here you go!” Renjun says, handing over his nice ten percent tip for the guy’s troubles. “T-T-Thank you!” he replies, after making a horribly obvious attempt at trying to inhale as much of Renjun’s residual scent on the ten dollar bill. Renjun awkwardly waves him goodbye, and closes the door of his apartment asking whichever deity that watches over him why he couldn’t have already been mated to avoid having to endure that. The plights of a single omega, he thinks to himself, now rapidly moving towards his kitchen to take final inventory. 
His heat is scheduled to begin sometime tonight, made clear by his overwhelming scent and his unbearable body temperature. He’s already considered turning his air conditioner up higher, but realizing that his poor plants would hate to live in a house that’s fifty-five degrees for a week straight, he suffers in a scantily clad haze. He’s stocked up with seven cases of water, four boxes of cookies, six frozen pizzas, and three family sized bags of chicken nuggets. His poor air-fryer will be working overtime this week, Renjun is fully prepared to only have twenty minutes of energy between heat spikes to keep himself semi-sufficiently nourished. He grabs an armful of waters and sports drinks he’d picked up earlier that week to carry them to his room. He placed them next to the other small snacks he’d put in his mini fridge conveniently sitting next to his nest, there was no way he’d be able to make it to the kitchen after the first few rounds and immediate hydration was a non-negotiable.
Renjun took a moment to be proud of himself. He was a single omega preparing for the most intense and important event of his life. All those incredibly awkward sex-ed lessons he endured in middle school, and the trauma-inducing nights spent handing Donghyuck and Mark bottles of gatorade and fruit snacks while trying to avoid  seeing any genitals had finally led up to this moment. Renjun was fully prepared. Renjun was gonna be okay. 
His doorbell rings again. This time unexpectedly. He opens the door to find another delivery man, this time an omega, Renjun can tell by the soft lavender scent. “Order for Renjun Huang?’ The man asks. Renjun grimaces at the horrifically American butchering of his name, giving a pleasant but unsure smile. “Yes! That’s me” Renjun replies, taking a look at the ominously large box the man is holding. "Great, sign here please” He grumbles, trying to make quick work of what Renjun can only presume is his last delivery of the day. Renjun makes quick work of scribbling his signature on the dotted line, before mumbling a quick thank you and grabbing the box. It’s oddly heavy, which wouldn’t be too concerning, until he took a closer look at the label and read ‘From: Mark and Donghyuck ♡,” in Donghyuck’s messy half cursive half print handwriting.
“Oh dear god” Renjun thinks, now the weight of the box is a genuine cause for concern. He heaves the box to his counter and takes a deep breath before cutting it open. Much to his surprise, it’s all normal nice things. He pulls out a box of the maple cookies Renjun became obsessed with when Mark brought them back a box after returning to campus from his thanksgiving break in Vancouver, the ones Renjun was pissed to find out aren’t available in Atlanta. He sees a stuffed bear and stuffed cheetah wrapped in plastic, Renjun pulls them out to admire the resemblance to his dear friends before he realizes they were both scented like Hyuck and Mark. Renjun could just cry. He felt so loved and cherished by his best friend, how loving and thoughtful Donghyuck always was despite being a smug piece of shit ninety percent of the time. He’s been wanting nothing more than to experience one of their “cuddle puddles”, that while Renjun would always protest, he secretly loved. He pulls out a lovely soft yellow blanket with pretty little ruffles on the ends, perfect to go in his nest for added comfort. Wrapped in the blanket is a little note: 
 “You’re gonna have a great time Junnie! Don’t overthink things, just relax and enjoy the ride! We love you so very much! - Hyuckie and Markie”
Renjun is tearing up, his friends love him so much, he’s gonna be okay! Then he sees another box at the bottom, hidden by the blanket and other gifts before it. He shimmies the black box out of the larger brown one and places it on the counter, now able to get a full look at what the picture on the box is displaying. The tears instantly dry. The feelings of love and admiration are replaced with immediate annoyance.
In a scary showcase of friendship telepathy, his phone rings, lighting up with the picture Donghyuck took of his flared nostrils freshman year. Renjun sighs, then answers the phone. “Why would you buy me a fuck machine?” Renjun stares into the phone, hoping to look as menacing as he can in a hello kitty headband holding his blonde strands from his face. “I see you got our present.” Donghyuck replies, shit eating grin so intense his lips were threatening to split apart. “I told you I had just the thing in mind for your heat girlie!” Renjun huffs with the full intent to call Donghyuck everything but a child of god, but he’s getting hotter and the throbbing between his legs is getting more intense. Tonight he chooses peace. “In seven days you’ll begin to cough” he says, and hangs up the phone to let out a loud exasperated grunt. 
Now the real preparation begins. Renjun walks over to his dryer and pulls out his satin robe he’d freshly washed for the occasion. He makes his way over to his bathroom to begin the most intense shower he’s had since his last failed date with an alpha he met on Wolfr. “Nice dick, horrendous vibes.” Renjun shudders at the memory. “Maybe that’s just how guys from Connecticut are? Connecticut is barely a real place, who cares.” He pauses his internal monologue for a moment to place a vanilla scented shower steamer in the corner of the tub. He lights himself a few overpriced indie candles he got from a small business bazaar in the city, and starts easing himself out of his tiny shorts.
He takes his time pulling the silky fabric of his briefs, gently coaxing his dick out of the fabric. He shudders at the cold air hitting his half-hard cock, sending shivers up his spine and another light stream of slick out of his tip. “Fuck,” He moans softly, entirely too aroused for his own good. He pulls his shirt over his head, shuddering again when the air hits his puffy swollen nipples. He takes the time to get a full look at himself in the full size mirror. “Fuck I’m hot. No wonder that Alpha almost popped his knot earlier,” Renjun smiles to himself confidently.
He makes his way into the shower, taking a deep breath of the warm vanilla scent circling him, meshing wonderfly with his own light citrusy aroma. The hot water of the shower electrifies Renjun’s body, he takes a moment to soak in the amazing feeling of the heat comforting his aching limbs. He starts with his favorite lemon and honey scented body wash to begin carefully massaging his arms and chest with the warm and fruity bubbles.
The sensation of the lather was already driving him crazy, absolutely loving the way his hands gilded seamlessly over his hips and ass. Renjun wasn’t normally the type to be so turned on by his own body, he guesses it’s just the excess hormones making any sight of bare skin immensely arousing. He snaps out of his hormone induced stupor to remember that he has a whole shower routine to get through, so he gives his soft chest a final squeeze, then moves back under the welcoming stream of the water to rinse himself clean. He grabs his body scrub and locks in for the remainder of his shower. 
Renjun emerges in a cloud of sugary citrus air, intoxicating even to himself. He wraps himself in his gold satin robe, and makes his way to his vanity for his finishing touches. Renjun digs through his copious amounts of products to find the expensive body oil he’s been saving for this very occasion. He strips off his robe, and starts massaging the oil into his skin, starting at his legs. Every dip his fingers make into his skin brings him closer to ecstasy. Closer to what he knows is gonna be the most intense feeling of his life. He’s just barely finished rubbing himself down when he starts leaking a new stream of slick from his puckered asshole.
“Oh shit, that must mean it’s about to be time huh?” He figures, moving to wrap his robe around him yet again to avoid his neighbors getting a free show through his open blinds. He draws the curtains, dims the lights, and connects his television to his laptop for an optimized viewing experience. He already has his nightly entertainment pulled up, three hours of Jen and Jae’s best material. Nothing that riles Renjun up more than seeing an alpha take a eleven inch dick like he was made for it.
He settles into the spot he carefully carved into his nest, when he lays his eyes on the pretty yellow blanket Donghyuck sent him in his care package. Then he thinks about what else was present in the care package. He pauses for a second, thinking about how he actually hadn’t even taken the fuck machine out of the box. “Well obviously I didn’t take it out the box, I’m not giving Hyuck the satisfaction of knowing I used a toy he gave me,” Renjun thinks to himself. Then again, it’s not as if Hyuck has to know Renjun used it. Then again, it’s not as if using it could be a bad idea, Renjun considers.
He drags himself out of bed to collect the box from the kitchen counter, setting it down on his bed as he begins to actually open the machine. He definitely recognizes the machine, it’s pretty famous among omega content creators due to its lightweight build and convenient suction cup base to accommodate any dildo the user pleases. He looks over at the extended assortment of toys he’s curated for tonight’s events:  a vibrating fleshlight for his cock and three different dildos in ascending length and thickness for his differing stages of need. Renjun felt his hole flutter with excitement as another gush of slick slid down his thighs.
He thinks about it for a moment, considering how much nicer it'd be if he didn’t have to be responsible for thrusting his toys in and out of his slicked hole. He decides to use the suction cup base of the fuck machine to attach it to the headboard of his bed, checking the height of his placement to ensure it would be the perfect height for him to comfortably get backshots from the toy. If he’s desperate enough for it he, reasons, first choosing to hold off from letting Donghyuck be right about something for as long as possible. With the machine firmly secured, Renjun settles back into his comfy spot in the nest. He takes off his robe, presses play on his laptop, and reaches for his fresh bottle of lube to start massaging his warm cock. 
He’s 10 minutes into watching Jae eat Jen’s ass when Renjun finally has his first orgasm. His little heaves and moans fill the room as he milks himself of his well deserved release. “Ooh…ahh…ahh...fuck!” He shouts, pulling himself further into overstimulation as his vision starts to haze over. He’s laying in a puddle of hot slick, constantly pumping out more and more as he keeps toying with his cock. He’s using his other hand to pump his fingers furiously in his asshole, loving the searing sensation of his hole stretching over his digits. “Mmm fuck...fuck, ooh make him cum Jae” he moans, picturing himself as the pornstars’ third wheel in their bedroom.
He realizes his hands aren’t gonna cut it though, he releases his cock from his vice grip and winces as he pulls his fingers from his ass to grab his fleshlight and the smallest dildo from the pile. “Oh shit,” he hisses, feeling that same intoxicating stretch to the next degree as he tries to slip the seven inch toy deep inside. He needs another large squirt of lube to get the job done, a sign he hasn’t completely gone into heat quite yet, letting his semi-delirious brain know he still has some semblance of self-control.
He pours another squirt of lube directly into the fleshlight, giving it a few pumps with his fingers, and then using those same fingers to pump his cock, before squeezing his drained but solid dick into the tight slippery hole.  He’s fully entranced in the sensations of his body now, leaking so much slick his toy keeps slipping out of his hole. The throbbing between his legs is reaching an ungodly peak, rushing his second orgasm into him like a train. “Ahhhh FUCK,” he screams, feeling the pulse of his prostate send him into overdrive. His cum and slick is pooling at the base of his dick, overflowing the fleshlight and adding to the lewd sounds deafening his ears.
He makes a move to turn up the vibrations on the toy, barely getting a chance to move his hand from the button before the pulse of his third release shakes him to the core. Renjun is completely lost at this point, barely aware of anything around him other than his seemingly never ending fountain of cum and the hypnotic sights and sounds of his favorite muscle bottom getting dicked within an inch of his life. God he wishes that was him taking alpha meat. Then he remembers it totally can be him. He grabs the biggest dick he owns, neglecting any more prep that the fifteen minutes of intense pounding hasn’t provided, and sticks the heavy dildo to the waiting base of the fuck machine.
He positions himself comfortably in front of the plastic cock, taking a moment to admire his mess on his satin sheets. “S-Shit…ohhh fuck,” he hisses as he shoves the toy into his ass. He barely gives himself a moment to adjust before he reaches for the remote to start the lowest thrusting pattern, desperate for the feeling of his hole getting stretched to its limits. Renjun lets out a low groan while the toy picks up speed. He clicks it up to the second level and jolts as the tip of the cock starts hitting his prostate. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh,” he groans, spilling more slick onto his sheets and sliding into his fourth orgasm, leaving his mind completely broken. He sets his fleshlight to its highest vibration and suction level, and shakes himself into another release.
If he had any ability to think critically he would be concerned for the amount of fluid leaking into his mattress, considering he’d completely forgotten to lay down the waterproof blankets he was so intent would save him a massive cleaning bill, especially since the cock in his ass causes another surge of slick to shoot from his hole. Nearing delirium, Renjun decides the dual stimulation still isn’t enough. He wants even more, he needs even more.
The smell of his slick and cum is intoxicating, leaving his brain just as fried as the underpaid alpha that nearly sprung a leak at his door earlier. He grabs the smaller dildo that he used to work his ass open at the start of his playtime, and gave it a slow lick from the balls to the tip. Tasting himself on the toy made his next orgasm even harder, sucking the head of the dildo like it was an actual alpha. Throating the cock to it’s hilt like Jae himself was fucking his throat. Renjun was officially in heat, too spent to think, and too horny to care. 
With the last bit of his reflexes he has left, he manages to switch the fuck machine to it’s highest setting, and prepares himself for the ride of his life. “Ohhhhh Shit! Oh Shit! Fuckkkkkk,” he stutters, forming the last coherent phrases he’ll be saying for a while. His head is absolutely pounding, reality is bending, and all he knows is fact are the loud moans he and Jen are churning out along with the surge of energy rushing through his ass and cock. “Ahh oh my god, oh my god,” he screams, ushering himself into otherworldly realms of pleasure.
His cock is being milked to extremes he didn’t know were possible, the pumping motions of the fleshlight sending streams of cum all over his balls and thighs from where the toy could no longer hold his load. He groans as the cock in his ass pounds into his prostate, sending him further into the orgasmic spiral he has no intention of leaving. He’s coming down from his tenth orgasm when he finally decided to give his dick a break, pulling the toy milking him for the last two hours off his cock and throwing it to the side, in the interest of laying face down ass up, fully submitting to the plastic cock he’s worshiping with every fiber of his being.
He can barely make any sounds other than small gurgles when he starts craving his own musk again, grabbing the fleshlight and sticking his tongue as deep as he can into the sopping wet hole, basking in the scent of his pleasure. He slurps up his essence as he feels his ass getting tighter, the dildo seemingly rutting rougher and rougher to break through his grip. He slides himself back even further on the toy, taking all eleven inches impossibly deep, crying out at the feeling of his stomach bulging from the cock mixing up his guts. Renjun is lost in the vortex of his heat, unable to do anything but scream in pleasure in between licking his fleshlight like it’s a real asshole, when he feels it.
His eyes go wide, his ass locks up around the plastic knot completely, the overwhelming pleasure forcing his body to mate with the cock rearranging him. The toy stops moving in and out, too suffocated by Renjuns slick walls to complete a full cycle of motion, instead sending deep thuds of pressure directly on his prostate. His eyes start rolling back as his body starts convulsing, unable to control his movements. His loud moans turn to deafening screams when a long stream of clear liquid shoots from his cock. He cries out in pleasure as he lets out endless gushes of liquid, soaking through whatever parts of his mattress weren’t already sticky with slick. His voice starts to taper off into quieter whines, soon after, Renjun’s vision goes black. 
Renjun wakes up thirty minutes later, slightly less attached to the toy. Its batteries must’ve died sometime between him squirting and passing out, but Renjun has little recollection of anything that occurred once his first heat spike hit. He hears the faint sound of his pornstars giving each other aftercare from what must’ve been a similarly intense scene in the background, figuring he should follow in Jen’s footsteps and have a bottle of water.
He rolls over in his nest, taking in the absolutely ruined state of his bed, along with the extremely satisfied feeling in his body. “Woah,” he thinks, “I gotta get Hyuck a Waffle House gift card or something.”
17 notes · View notes
dawningfairytale · 1 year
Text
"kitty's feelings for yuri came out of nowhere" it was set up better in the show than when i realised i had crushes on girls in real life
#like buddy it was leading to that#xo kitty#tumblr y'all are great. ofc minho x kitty shippers included bc you can ship a bi girl with a boy and not be biphobic#this is about the youtube and instagram people who are so disappointed kitty was revealed to be not straight#like. one time i felt attraction to my friend in sport and went 'guess this makes me bisexual. FUCK.'#did i do anything abuout this no#and i can't remember if this was before or after my sapphic dreams (same year tho)#but the point stands. you. just. feel attracted to a girl. and you repress and that doesn't work and you go cool guess i swing both ways#and that happens#this was well set up. there are probably problematic aspects but this was a bisexual experience. it was foreshadowed before the dream#also i really like it bc it relates to my experiences!!#not- not all of it.#but realising you might be a little bi when you dream about kissing another girl. sudden realisation you're queer.#writing off dreams bc 'they're just dreams' and talking about them in a vague way even to your queer friends#trying to repress it but realising that isn't working#going 'this is not the way straight people feel for people of the same gender'#bi panic.#kitty bi panics so much in this show (the throuple scene) AND WE DESERVE MORE OF IT#the internal confusion and expecting no one to accept this epiphany about yourself (and biphobia!! you hate to see it)#uh yeah anyway#i know this show is far from flawless but i really like it#also goes to show that white people *can* in fact sympathise with characters of colour and not every show needs to be white#(looking at you instagram commenter who was made that shows have gay and black people no i'm not kidding)#social media is a hate crime. here is just torture.
23 notes · View notes
supercantaloupe · 8 months
Text
beginning to not have fun with these opera bracket posts tbh
#some of you guys are being really mean honestly. and i think that's really pathetic and unnecessary.#'why are people complaining about us voting for the Objectively Best Operas' cause it's not about what's Objectively Best#(there literally cannot be an Objective best if people are this argumentative about it....cause then it's.....subjective....)#it's about what You Personally Like More. every poll is literally titled 'which do you prefer' not 'which is Best(tm)'#which. sure sometimes we like things because we think they're the most well crafted works available#but also sometimes we like things that are just. fun. not necessarily Artistic Masterpieces. but they're enjoyable#and there is no moral or intellectual superiority attached to which opera you like best#for gd's sake.#'why are you people taking this so personally and whining about everything' well you are saying that people should be banned from#Watching Opera and or that you would like to kill someone/yourself if your choice doesn't win#or that people are literally brainless troglodytes for voting against your taste#and like#idk#i think it's valid to be upset about that?#'have you noticed that the people who Complain are Objectively Wrong' how do you say this with a straight face#and still feel comfortable up on that high horse of yours?#whatever i guess. you guys can have fun pretending that the forza or don carlo guys are making out or whatever#but it's just. unnecessarily mean to pretend like anyone who disagrees or has slightly different taste is Stupid and Wrong#i wanna talk about me#it's probably obvious that there's a particular post i'm referring to with this but i'm not gonna link it#because i don't want to directly get embroiled in anything. don't fucking @ me to argue i will honestly just block you#you can reply if you want guess but if you're rude or weird. watch out.#it's yom kippur. i have bigger things to focus on than fucking bitichfights on tumblr over the most pointless popularity contest yet devise
9 notes · View notes
caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
Text
The DID urge to make funnies by placing my alters into alignment chart memes
66 notes · View notes
tillman · 11 months
Text
gahh . im still thinking about stuff.
#and like ugh. no. the reason i havent been happy with my art recently despite liking how it looks is cus im too exhausted#from work and life and such to really put the effort and thought into it i want. its careless. its thoughtless. theres#very little in my current portfolio im satisfied with on an intellectual level. and it makes me feel very#stagnant and kind of pissy about art. gah.#<- btw. call me pretentious or whatever and ill just straight up kill you. this isnt pretentiousness. i just care deeply about my art and#it conveying what i want it to. for me to be failing on that well. it kindof sucks#i think a lot of the work im happy with now is my stupid soliloquies to myself. theyre scratchy and look bad but at least they#get it across. yknow? ahh its so hard then.#txt#this isnt all that serious just thinking to myself.#having an odd blurry moment so putting my thoughts to text helps a lot in figuring who i am LOL . <- in a system way not in a .#whatever#but i do think that ^ above not the system stuff ^ contributes to why i really feel negatively about being viewed as a fandom artist#despite drwaing fanart- i want to use these characters to explore and think about stuff. u know? and i think fandom spaces#tend to treat fanart and writing and all that as mostly disposable one time use pretty things to think on once nad never agian.#and GAH!! that bugs me!!! i do not like how the internet has PRIMED people into treating art that way!#personal pet peeve i guess. what can you do
10 notes · View notes
brechtian · 2 years
Text
so so funny I went to read the handbook on narcissism and npd in an effort to learn more about the disorder & it’s complexities from specialists and what I learned instead is that NOBODY CAN AGREE on what it means AT ALL or anything else about it!!!!!
#rant in tags but an interesting one if u like psychology#don’t get me wrong the handbook IS from 2011 so it’s been over a decade but also it’s still considered like the primary text on npd and I#get the feeling the same debates are probably still going on#like I wish u all could understand. basically the only thing anyone seems to agree on is that the dsm IV (and considering the criteria for#diagnosis changed almost not at all between IV and V I imagine this still holds true)#is a BAD tool for diagnosing it. like the categorical model of diagnosis just doesn’t work well for personality disorders#plus the actual criteria listed for npd and many other pds in the dsm just straight up are not well grounded in actual scientific research#abt the disorders#and that’s what they agree on. as for the rest#NOBODY agrees on what inventories or models are effective & accurate NOBODY agrees on what the actual symptoms are beyond self#aggrandizement there’s a huge debate over whether there are subtypes of npd and if so what are they#and of those who DO believe in subtypes the most popular theory is grandiose vs vulnerable but THEN there’s a whole debate about THEM#bc some psychologists consider them two separate manifestations while others say that ppl with npd vacillate between the two states#and nobody can conclusively link self esteem with npd in any meaningful way other than that diagnosed ppl usually have higher surface level#self esteem but the whole concept of whether the narcisstic persona is a defense mechanism or just a delusion nobody can agree on or prove#and if ur wondering where the line is drawn between trait narcissism and npd ? buddy I’ve got bad news for you NOBODY KNOWS#like trait narcissism and npd are categorically two different things but the practical reality of someone with high trait narcissism vs npd#is just like. shrugs#and also high trait narcissism usually means scored high on the npi but hey guess what the npi has been HUGELY criticized and nobody can al#agree on how accurate it is!!#I could go on forever but u get the idea like. if you asked three different specialists in npd how they would define the disorder you would#VERY LIKELY get three completely different answers#and now. if ur sitting there wondering#hey wait a minute#but if the DSM V the official guideline for psychiatric evaluation infamously are not a good framework to diagnose pds or npd#AND if all other sources and experts have conflicting opinions#then WHAT is this disorder and HOW is it consistently diagnosed#AND IM WONDERING THE SAME DAMN THING!!!
41 notes · View notes
pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
Text
.
2 notes · View notes
Text
.
#this is gonna be so tmi sorry i’m advance but#how am i supposed to deal with having a body and every mental illness and stomach problems and throat problems and being ugly and having no#hobbies or life skills or a job#i need to find a job but i also have to deal with my stomach and my throat so i can be well enough to actually move my body to find a job#but i don’t have much money left so i can’t focus on those things either so i’m spending literally hours a day in the bathroom and it hurts#to speak#and i don’t want to feed myself i don’t want to take my meds i don’t want to do anything but get high which also physically hurts also bc#throat#and i have to do PT everyday so i can shit better but i also need to find a job so i can’t waste silly energy on things like that but then i#can’t get a job because i feel like shit and am shitting literally all the fucking time#and obviously the logical thing should be to just take care of my health today so i can be good to#tomorrow to find a job right? wrong actually! tomorrow it’ll be something’s#and the day after that#n the day after that#and every day after that one too!#but no one is actually willing to help me with anything because i am a 1 dimensional human being who spawned yesterday who has never heard#of things like “’building tenacity’ and ‘having structure’ there’s actually nothing wrong with me i’m just lazy i guess!#but if i wanna kill myself that’s wrong and bad and needs to be stopped immediately#other people seem to look at suicidal people and go ‘i have no reason to want to kill myself so other people just need to push it through :)#thug it out lol’ and it’s like actually these are very good reasons to want to die#i have spent the last 9 years actively in treatment actively working on myself actively trying to build a better life#it has only gotten worse#don’t talk to me about getting over to the other side. i’m on it. it’s just as bad as every other one of the sides#life doesn’t ever get better for some people and just because that wasn’t true for you and your life did get better doesn’t mean other#peoples lives every will get better. like it is straight up not possible for me to have a better life. and i know this for a fact because if#it was#i would have it now and i would have had it for a while
0 notes
be-good-to-bugs · 2 months
Text
maybe i WILL get to move back home
#the bin#i talked to my mom and things might go ok but idk#i just have to wait and see but i desperately hope i can move. i need to see a doctor so bad. my whole body feels horrible all the time#and my tooth has gotten so much worse. i can deal with it if thres an end date. i cant deal with it indefinitely. and i cant afford to get#it fixed without insurance. i would rather die than deal with this shit for another however long i have to i CAN NOT do that#esp bc i would need to go to work while experiencing it. idk. im shaky literally ALL the time and my insides alwyas hurt and my joints#hurt so much too. and half the time im at work my chest hurts and i cant see straight. i cant fuckin do this anymorew.#apparently my dad might be getting a new job so their landlord might be more willing to renew but idk. she said she should know on april 1st#which isnt that far away but idk. i mean. its not impossible theyll renew. who knows. i hope so.#i know at keast thst i have a way to get there if there is a place for me to live so thats good. my health cant take this anymore. and im#also not able to emotionally. idk what other option i have but. god. its hard enough as is. im having like a perpetual panic attack since i#found out i probs wont get to move. im tryna be optimistic. i dont think im physically capable of staying here any longer#it was hard enough to stay herenthis extra yearm ive been having breakdowns repeatedly over it. and my physical health keeps worsening#i miss my little sister. i wanna be able to see the people i care about. theres so few people in the world i enjoy being around and i dont#get to see them ever. instead i have to see my second least favorite person in the world in order to even just get groceries#hhhh. i want the time to pass so i can know for sure but i also desperately dont wnat it to cause im so scared itll be bad news#whatever. i will hope and believe that itll work out until i know that it wont. hhhhh. worst case scenario i guess ill just have to save up#and figure out moving there later on but like. i was really happy to NOT have to worry abt rent or working so i could focus on my health and#then i could go back that that stuff. oh well
0 notes
mossy-covered-bones · 3 months
Text
Oh i am gonna Suffer today
1 note · View note
sttoru · 9 months
Text
𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐎𝐋𝐃-𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘 !
Tumblr media Tumblr media
⟣ sypnosis. you were curious if your boyfriend would pass a ‘loyalty test’ that you’ve seen on social media and you decide to see for yourself, only to discover something much more . . . heartwarming.
⟣ tags. gojo satoru x female reader. mostly tooth rotting fluff. talks about cheating / a sprinkle of trust issues from reader. the rest is satoru just being lovesick.
⟣ note. uhhhh… idk just a random idea i got at three am on a saturday night after being woken up from a nightmare >_< enjoy .
Tumblr media Tumblr media
you don’t think satoru would actually ever cheat on you. your curiosity just got the best of you when you saw that one girl do a ‘loyalty test’ on her boyfriend. it was quite simple—testing if your partner would hand you their phone without being suspiciously defensive.
therefore you walked into satoru’s room and spotted him laying on his side, his back facing the door. he didn’t have any earphones in so you could hear the sounds of a movie playing on the phone he held in his hands.
he seemed so peaceful and content that you were already feeling bad for disturbing him with your silly test. you moved to sit on the edge of the bed and cleared your throat, making your presence known as if the sorcerer hadn’t sensed it moments ago.
“are you cheating on me?”
blunt and straight to the point.
satoru pauses the show on his phone and looks at you like you had said the most outrageous thing there is (to him, you really did). he drops the device on the bed and turns his body to face yours; “well—hello to you too, baby.”
he runs a hand through his hair before sitting up against the headboard with a raised brow, one hand cautiously reaching out for you. satoru was thinking about all the things he has said or done previously that could’ve possibly make you think he was screwing around behind your back. his mind worked fast, though he couldn’t come up with any logical explanation.
“answer my question please, ‘toru.” you mumble, feeling slightly guilty for doing this to your lover. you could see the confusion plastered on his face.
“no, i am not.” satoru shakes his head whilst holding your hand in his, thumb brushing against the back of it, “what makes you think that?”
you weren’t about to say ‘oh nevermind then! just a dumb thing that i saw on tiktok’—no, there was still one thing left to do. even if you’re so super sure that your boyfriend was hiding nothing from you. maybe there was an one in a million chance that your intuition was wrong. or maybe it’s just your underlying trust issues speaking.
“uhh, just wanted.. to check.. i guess?” you clear your throat and take a deep inhale before putting your hand out to satoru, palm up.
the white-haired sorcerer looks from your hand to you, and back. he doesn’t know what that indicated, so he takes a simple guess; satoru places his chin on your palm, giving you an amused kind of grin. you raise an eyebrow as he rests his head on your hand—which wasn’t what you wanted to gain from your gesture.
but you couldn’t blame him. it was cute that that was the first thing he thought of doing.
“you’re always welcome to check. got nothin’ to hide anyway.” he shrugs, not offended by your accusation in the slightest. you see the way his blue eyes look up at you—in a way that shows his pure, unadulterated adoration for you.
you nod and scratch satoru under his chin, to which he smiles and closes his eyes, enjoying the tingling touch, “then can i .. look through your phone?”
without an ounce of hesitation, he had placed his phone unlocked in your hand. satoru doesn’t care much about privacy anyway—you’re his girlfriend, you’re the only one allowed to know every single thing about him, “of course, baby.”
your eyes land on the screen and your jaw drops as you see his home screen; a picture of you up close, sleeping with your cheek squished against his arm, own hands resting near your head and . . . is that drool trickling down your chin?
“oops, sorry, you were too cute not to take a picture of.” satoru chuckles as he sees your reaction. he lays back on his side, elbow propped on the pillow with his head resting against his hand—watching you go through his phone with a relaxed look.
you roll your eyes playfully before starting your search. your finger swiped across the screen and landed on the messenger app satoru uses. you click on it and scroll through his chats, but don’t find anything out of the ordinary. he recently talked to you, his first year students, nanami and shoko.
you curiously tap on his chat with shoko and don’t read anything interesting at first glance. you scroll up and take note of how satoru was the one who kept most of the conversation going. shoko’s replies were much shorter and curt—straight to the point.
but then your eyes land on a conversation from two weeks ago. satoru had showed shoko a bunch of selfies you had sent him that same day. he was telling her how ‘cute’ and ‘pretty’ you were, practically bragging about you being his girl.
you scroll up some more and see that he’s done the same many times before; sending shoko pictures of you and kind of rambling to her about how beautiful you are.
shoko—being the good friend she is—indulged into his little lovesick ramblings and agreed with every thing satoru said—even complimenting your looks herself. you begun to get embarrassed at this unexpected revelation.
when going through more of his chats with other people, you realise how much satoru loves to talk about you. you couldn’t possibly count the many times satoru had refused invitations from his students or other friends simply because he wanted to hang out with you instead.
you discovered that he even skipped two or three important meetings at the school to go spend the day with you—nanami scolding him via text each time he did so.
“damn..” you murmur and glance up at your lover after closing his messaging app. satoru was staring right back at you with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen on him.
he wasn’t embarrassed about you reading some of those cheesy and sappy texts at all. in fact, he was happy. he wants you to know how much he loves you (as if he doesn’t show you exactly that every day of the week).
“go on, sweets.” satoru nods towards his phone, encouraging you to continue your inspection. your eyes dart back towards the screen and you shyly swipe and scroll some more, eventually ending up in his gallery.
the first things you noticed: two albums dedicated to you. all were filled with hundreds of pictures of you (and him). one was named ‘my love,’ the other ‘me&my love’ — both with a heart at the end. scrolling through them, you noticed many images you hadn’t even realised were ever taken.
many of those pictures were also favourited in his gallery.
you nibble on your bottom lip and leave the gallery app even more flustered than before. you aimlessly click around some more on his phone. what really surprised you most was that you were named in his reminder app.
there were tons—all added in one long list. some were so pure that you couldn’t contain the slight tears in your eyes;
‘bring gf gifts’, ‘remind gf that she’s amazing’, ‘bring gf lunch’, ‘send gf daily selfie’, ‘daily cuddles w gf (if she wants)’, ‘give gf big smooch (important!)’, ‘check up on gf when away on business’, — satoru doesn’t actually need to have those reminders on his phone. his mind is so full of you that he’ll automatically remember to do everything, almost on autopilot. he just has those there for… well, just in case he somehow ends up forgetting.
you lock his phone after seeing enough and give it back to your lover. you wordlessly crawl over to him on the bed and snuggle up to his body, head resting on his chest.
“sorry.” you quietly apologise. you knew he wasn’t hiding anything, but the fact that you still went ahead and tried out that ‘loyalty test’ on someone as loyal and loving as satoru makes your heart ache a bit. especially after discovering just how smitten he’s with you.
“dunno why you’re apologising—but please don’t.” satoru whispers and rubs your back in a soothing manner, kissing the top of your head and smiling against your scalp afterwards, “it’s fiiine.”
he’s entertained by the reactions to your discoveries, even if those are but mere indications to the actual unending and undying love he holds for you in his heart.
you lift your head up and look at satoru. your bottom lip stuck out, corners of your mouth twitching slightly whilst your eyes started to get a bit glassy. you really felt bad—yet you also felt appreciated on the other hand. if you didn’t go through with your curious idea, you wouldn’t have gotten to know about any of this.
“aww, my sweet, sweet girl.” satoru coos and places two kisses right below each eye, tapping your nose with a grin. he adores the way you look and if it wasn’t for his self control, he’d have nibbled on those cheeks of yours out of playful aggression.
it’s then that satoru remembers one of his daily tasks; one he hadn’t properly done today.
you were caught off guard once more as satoru’s lips crashed down onto yours—no warning given whatsoever. his big hands held onto your cheeks, thumb rubbing the skin there whilst his glossy lips moved against yours in a gentle yet much sloppy way.
“there,” the white-haired man hums in content as he pulls away, giggling once he sees a bit of his saliva coat your mouth. he wipes it away with his thumb, “your smooch of the day.”
you couldn’t help but laugh at the exaggerated cringy way satoru said the latter—your boyfriend laughing right alongside you afterwards.
satoru wasn’t done with you, however. he had many other daily tasks that were yet to be fulfilled.
Tumblr media
9K notes · View notes
hazyshadeofwintyr · 1 year
Text
Spongebob Narrator: Months ago, but not many... Me: Okay so maybe the séance fic is going to be a little more than a oneshot, but that's okay! I can figure stuff out as I go along. Me: What if the situation meant they had to go to an Oracle witch. What if I made an OC. And that OC was the Oracle witch they consult. Me: Yes, excellent. Me: What if they're also a snake and use xey/xem pronouns? Oh *NOW* we're cookin' with portals! Me: Okay, so I jotted down some ideas about how xey interact with C, and some ideas for the heartscape stuff at this point, but I'm not sure how to bridge it with the epilogue stuff. Me: That's okay, I can figure it out later! I'll probably know what happens by the time I get to this chapter. Spongebob Narrator: Three Months Later Me: [finishes writing chapters 1-5] Me: Okay, so, what do I have of chapter 6? Some dialogue, a couple of exchanges, H and J stuff that needs to go in the cuts doc because I completely changed the trajectory of the heartscape subplot, okay, okay... Me: Hm, not a lot. Alright, let me just check my mental notes... Me: [looks at mental notes, grabs the one with "séance fic chapter 6 ideas" written on it] Me: [unfolding the note] So what do we have here?... The note: idk figure it out u've written the first five chapters u should know what happens next lmfao Me: [shaking fist at sky] Damn you, past me!!!
0 notes