#and i have reread it (at least to the latest update) FOUR TIMES | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 years

Text

Fiction is the lie through which we tell the truth

Warnings: noncon sex (oral, m&f, intercourse)

This is dark!Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: The reader is a fic writer and her number one fan can’t get enough.

Note: This is probably the most meta shit I’ve written but for all the fic writers out there, this one if for you. Hope y’all get the good d you deserve but until then, here’s this!

Please let me know what you think in a reblog/reply! <3 please and thank you.

You let out a sigh of relief and hit ‘post’. It was almost pathetic but it was the best part of your day, or most days. Having something to share with others was nice. The fact that they enjoyed your work and your boredom-induced work made it worth the frustration.

It wasn’t real writing. You knew that. Fanfiction was a genre to be laughed at. You didn’t admit it to anyone but there was a sense of pride to go along with the shame.

That part of you was kept online. The darker parts; the lust, the angst, the fear. It all went hand in hand and no one would guess that the bookshop assistant was stevies-doll. It felt almost scandalous to have a virtual alter ego.

You closed your laptop and checked the time. More than enough to get ready for work. Plain blouse, grey pants, mary jane flats. You were the typical bookish girl with dreams that would never come true.

The bus was late. Oh well. You’d still be there in time you’d just have to forego your usual espresso. Afternoons were draining and you often needed the boost to keep from nodding off in the last hour. You really weren’t sure why the shop stayed open so late; not many came out after five for books but traffic was relatively steady in the hipster village.

Nina met you with a frown. She preferred you at least ten minutes earlier. Tardiness had seen several other clerks fired and you had been the only to make it more than a year in the shop. Three in fact. This place was like a second home. A garden of ideas to plant the seeds of your mind.

When Nina left, you rearranged the desk. You moved aside her ledger and replaced it with your notebook, two pens to the right of it. In between the chime of the door and the rare customer queries you did most of your writing. When you reached a block you’d read, but today you felt particularly inspired.

The world was saved again. The news reports had shown footage of the daring rescue. As grim as the situation was, you couldn’t help but fantasize. The first avenger with his golden hair and sharp jawline was every woman’s Adonis. At least, you thought he was the very picture of perfection.

It wasn’t obsession. That was your mantra. You often argued with yourself. As much as you thought of the great Steve Rogers, it was only admiration. It wasn’t the possessive infatuation often found on social media. It was a hobby. An escape from the world.

You bent over the notebook. The shop was empty. The dulcet tones of indie folk floated along the shelves. You set pen to paper and waited for the ring to draw you away from the world behind your eyes.

You leaned on the counter and scribbled the first line in ink. That was always the hardest part. Then again, the beginning was always more exciting than the end.

‘The day the earth went dark, there was but one beacon left to shine…’

It was amusing at first. The thought of another person spending so much time writing about him. That someone would fabricate an entire universe in which he was entirely different. Somewhere out there was a woman who wore the pseudonym ‘stevies-doll’.

Steve knew he should have been perturbed by the fact. The idea of another so consumed by him that they would post almost every other day about him. He couldn’t remember how he stumbled on the small blog. A decent following but nothing close to viral.

The first story he read was cute. It even made him feel warm. The second was very much the same. He clicked through to another, this one more serious. Grey and daunting. A few more and he stumbled upon one he found most interesting, the letters NSFW emblazoned across the top. He googled the acronym and clicked back to the tab. Excited almost.

When he finished, he was warm in another way. Hot, almost. The things he read, the idea of him doing them, was almost arousing. Of course, he had never done any of it. Had never been more than the perfect gentlemen. Sweet and doting. That was how love should be. But that wasn’t love, no, that story was sex. Pure, unadulterated fucking.

He forced himself away from the computer after that. He needed to sleep. He had intended to browse his email quickly but he often found himself in the oddest rabbit-holes. That was definitely the deepest. He shook his head and chuckled. It was funny.

The next morning he awoke and went about his usual routine. He was out the door by seven. Off to save the world. Or wait around for it to need saving. At Stark Tower, he listened to Tony with his eyes on his phone. It wasn’t anything important. Some recounting about how he had scared Pepper with a nano-spider.

Steve gave a half-hearted chuckle and Tony went back to his screen. “Tough audience,” He muttered to Bruce who merely shook his head.

Steve leaned against a stool and squinted at his phone. He stared at the google search. Why had he typed it in? Somewhere in the tedium of Tony’s chatter, he had keyed in the name. He hit the first link and his phone loaded slowly.

His own face stared back at him. The banner was a press photo he had taken over a year ago. His bright eyes were staunch beneath the mask as he stared off into the distance. She had posted again. His thumb hovered over ‘read more’. Did he dare?

He looked up to make sure he was not being observed. The two scientists were too distracted to care about his online activity. He stood straight and cleared his throat. “I’m gonna hit the gym,” He lied. A grumble from both scientists as they squinted at the floating screens. “Right, have fun.” Steve said dryly as he left them to their work.

He stepped out in the hall and pressed his thumb to the screen. He bent his head over the phone as he walked blindly down the halls. Neither Tony or Bruce noticed through the window that he had gone entirely the wrong way. Steve didn’t either as his eyes flitted over the screen.

‘The day the earth went dark, there was but one beacon left to shine…’

You couldn’t believe how much your blog had grown in the last few months. You didn’t know if it betrayed your unexciting life or your one-track mind. Both, maybe. But it made your everyday responsibilities a little less tedious.

And the messages were even better than the hit count. Several had messaged to say they loved your work and went so far as to call you an inspiration. It was flattering but it was easy to remember who you were. No Stephen King or JK Rowling. You wrote silly one shots with limited development.

Today your inbox had been steady. Every time you found yourself bored at work, you opened the app and you had another message. Most of them short or even just emojis but nice nonetheless. And there was one you were waiting to answer

So long and in depth you had to give it more than just a thanks. You opened it several times and reread it.

‘Your story is really interesting. I think the way your portray Steve is believable. In this type of writing you rarely find anything realistic but your writing feels genuine if not entirely accurate. I would say you capture the essence of Steve perfectly and his actions at least make sense.

I always enjoy your updates and even look forward to them...especially the NSFW ones. ;)’

It was one of the few users who didn't use the anonymous feature and also left a complete comment. It was refreshing and you had come to look forward to their commentary. They went by CapUSA. Another Steve fangirl who was surprisingly inactive outside your blog. Her page was almost a clone of your own. They liked every post, reblogged, and commented. What more could a writer ask for?

Original characters maybe and not just fantasies of someone who’d never know of her existence. You closed your laptop and sighed. It felt like time. You could feel the block at the back of your head. The little thrill you got was wearing off and it felt like a phase better left to fade with your emo days in high school and that month in university when you dyed your hair purple.

You readied for work. Back on days that week. Opening was always easier. It didn’t feel so drawn out. Nina would be in at one and you’d keep her company until four. It meant little time for writing. Maybe that was for the better. You needed to start planning. For the future. For something truly your own. A fantasy so detached from reality that it would make market and maybe even a dime.

That was your dream. You didn’t want to be the listless fangirl forever. Ugh, how you hated to even call yourself a fangirl. No post today, you resigned. Maybe none tomorrow. You’d have to work up the courage to announce your hiatus. Life was calling and for once a sliver of genuine inspiration.

And the bookstore. It was Shakespeare’s birthday, which conveniently was also his death day. This meant two for one on all of his works. Nina also hired actors to stand outside the shop and re-enact famous scene from the playwright’s repertoire. They wouldn’t arrive till noon but you had a lot of set-up to do. Enough to keep you from thinking of the disappointed messages that would fill your inbox.

Steve scrolled through the pale pink blog for the dozenth time that morning. It had been two weeks since stevies-doll posted. The longest two weeks of his life. He wasn’t sure when it had become a staple in his life. A ritual almost. He’d read her latest fic as he laid down and try to clear his head of blood and grime. Lose himself in the person she dreamed he was. The man he had come to envy. Fictional but all too real in his head.

But there was nothing. At first he re-read and read again. But that grew old. He knew almost every story by heart at this point. He could recite the intro line to most and he fell asleep as his imagination reconstructed the things he had never done.

Her banner flashed across his sight when he woke, the image of his blue eyes staring beyond him. He’d come to think of her Steve as an altar ego. The beast buried deep inside of him. He was tired of being the nation’s golden child. Their unwavering moral beacon. He wanted to be him and she had helped him figure out who he truly was.

But she was gone. No green dot above her name in the chat window, her last post dated fourteen days ago, her blog like a time capsule. The ice that had preserved him for seventy years. Where was she?

Then a thought struck him. A devious one. He had been on enough missions to know his way around a computer. He considered himself quite savvy after living nearly a decade ahead of his time. It was simple enough. He tracked down many a drug pin this way and they were often concealed behind walls of encryption. He doubted she had more than a store-bought antivirus, if that.

He climbed out of bed and booted his computer. His leg shook impatiently and he tossed his phone just beneath the corner of the monitor. He rubbed his palms together as the home screen loaded and he clicked on the browser.

Her IP was simple enough to find. Right-click, inspect. When he found it, he felt his heart jump. This was a line. A very clear one. If he did this, there was no going back. He let go of the mouse and leaned his chin in his hands. He stared at her page, split by the window of code, and his jaw ticked.

He hit back and went to the messenger. He clicked on her name and his fingertips ran over the space bar. He didn’t know what to say. He’d send her little asks about her fics but he never messaged her directly. Would she respond?

‘Hey,’ He typed slowly, his fingers sped up with each key, ‘I’m a fan of your work. I think it’s excellent. I just wanted to check in and see if you were still writing for this blog.’

He hit enter and waited. He focused on the grey dot beside her name. If she saw this, it likely wouldn’t be until morning. He checked the time and sighed. It was late. He had an early briefing with Tony and he should try to sleep.

He hovered the cursor over the x but the dot turned green and he paused. The little ‘...’ blipped in the bottom of the chat box and the ding of her reply was music to his ears.

‘Hey, sorry. I know I’ve been quiet lately. I’ve just been so busy with work. I’m a bit behind at the moment. Thank you though for following me. I always enjoy your comments :)’ He read it several times before he could reply. Before he could even think of the words to.

‘It’s okay. We all have responsibilities. Take your time.’ He wanted to tell her to hurry up but who knew? She might be someone important, like a lawyer or teacher. He could wait. As long as there was hope.

‘Thanks. I appreciate that. Really.’ That response was quicker. Curt, almost.

‘I don’t want to overstep but are you okay?’ His cheeks were hot.

‘Ah, you know, life.’

He scratched his chin as he leaned back in his chair. Slowly he sat forward and typed. It took him three tries to get it right. Concerned but not pushy. ‘Anything you wanna talk about?’ He waited. The three dots appeared then faded. Several times before her answer blipped up.

‘I don’t wanna trouble you but I appreciate you asking. Nothing I won’t get over.’

‘Ok, no problem. Just know that if you need it, I could listen. It’s could to talk about stress.’ He laughed at himself. He should take his own advice. He had a horrible habit of letting things pile up until he burst at the seams.

‘Thanks again. I’ll ttyl. I gotta get some sleep. Have a good one.’

‘You, too,’ He replied a bit too quickly. ‘Talk to you then.’

You were ready to post again. It had been almost a month since your last fic and you had been reluctant to return. You couldn’t help checking in daily to see your notifications and scroll mindlessly through your own content. And your offline writing had come to a halt. You were stuck and you didn’t know how else to cope but fall back on what you knew.

Your new friend had helped too. CapUSA had quickly become a stalwart of your blog. She, or he, you still weren’t sure, spoke to you almost everyday. They encouraged you to try one more fic as you mulled over a certain prompt. Why not? It would be like a writing exercise. Maybe it would help you with your original writing. Take some of the pressure off.

And you didn’t just talk about writing. You talked about the bookstore and Nina’s incessant complaints. You talked about the stresses of your lives. Friends, or lack thereof. Cap seemed a popular person and recounted stories of the latest drama. A close knit group of friends who acted more like adversaries. It was amusing and made your forget that your life was rather empty.

You hit post and smiled. That familiar rush rolled over you and you snapped closed your laptop. You were already dressed and ready for work. You crammed in the quick editing session before the bus was due and now you’d have to run for it.

Back on afternoons. It was rainy and you were soaked by the time you got to the shop. The weather always helped traffic and you ducked behind the counter where Nina was tending to the line with Cara, a new addition. The curly-haired blonde reminded you of old Hollywood. Her high cheekbones and rose lips rivaled Monroe’s.

“Do you want me to start early?” You asked as you tucked your bag under the counter between them.

“You better. I’m gone in ten and Cara’s only on til three.” Nina muttered. “We got a new shipment. Boxes are at the end of the aisles. We’ve not had a chance to touch ‘em.”

“Okay, I’ll get right on it,” You pin your name tag on and stepped back around the counter. She was in one of her moods and all the better that you avoid her until she left. You went to the end of the history aisle and opened the box against the wall.

‘You working?’ The vibration drew your attention from re-arranging the non-fiction section. The message floated in a bubble on your lock screen. You smiled. This faceless stranger felt like more. Of course, virtual friendships were often fleeting.

You glanced down the aisle, both Nina and Cara were squinting at the computer as a customer waited patiently for them to figure out their conundrum. You swiped away the lock and typed swiftly with your phone hidden behind your leg.

‘Closing. Here all night.’

‘Oh :( you got company at least?’

‘For a couple more hours. But no shortage of work. :/’

‘Damn. Should I leave you alone?’

‘Up to you. My responses might be sporadic. Boss isn’t very pleasant today.’

‘Cool. I just read your new fic.’

‘Yeah? Sorry I haven’t checked my notifications just yet.’

‘No problem. I left a comment is all.’

‘What are you up to?’

‘Taking a break from driving. I should actually get back to it. It’s a long trip.’

‘Where are you going?’

‘To see a friend.’

‘Ah, ok. Well, drive safe.’

‘I will ;) See ya later.’

‘ttyl :)’

‘Nina’s Nook’. Steve read the crooked moniker several times over. He couldn’t believe he was actually there. That she was inside. He made good time on the road. An eight hour trip in six. Of course, he hadn’t exactly abided the speed limit. His impatience had turned to recklessness. So unlike him.

The sky was dim. The summer nights came later and later. She’d be done in an hour. The streets were dying down and the door hadn’t chimed in almost as long. He felt nervous all of a sudden. He tried to shrug of his anxiety and took a breath.

She wouldn’t know it was him. Well, she might recognize him but she wouldn’t know he was CapUSA. He couldn’t wait to see her reaction. Steve Rogers in her bookshop. In this town. It would be a story she would recount for the rest of her life. An encounter she would never forget.

Oh, he’d make sure she remembered it.

He crossed the street. A single car passed as he stepped up on the curb. It was much quieter than New York. No honking, no shouts, no hissing sewers. He liked it. It was quaint. He stood before the door and peeked through the glass. There was no one behind the desk. But the sign read open and the lights shone in welcome.

He pushed down the handle and slowly opened the door. The bell announced his entrance and a small voice called from the corner of the shop. “One moment, please.” He heard the shuffle of books and light footsteps. She emerged from the far shelves and his lips parted at the sight of her.

He had seen her before. Her few photos on Facebook and Instagram. He had found those shortly after he ferreted out her IP. He couldn’t see much but her privacy settings allowed him a glimpse into her real life. Her smile was nicer than in her pictures.

“Sorry, I was--” She stopped short as she saw him. She blinked. He closed his mouth as hers fell open. Her voice was higher when she spoke next. “I was just sorting some stuff out. I--How can I help you?”

“Um, a friend recommended a book to me and I was passing by, I thought maybe by chance… you might have it.” He kept his voice even. The same one he used for his press conferences.

“Do you have a title?” She asked. He could see her fingers tremble. The guilt as her eyes rounded. She was thinking of all the things she had wrote about him. He was thinking of those too.

“Jeez, you know, I’ve totally forgotten but the author was, uh…” He pretended to think and his eyes drifted down her body. Her flowered blouse was boxy but her pants hugged the curves of her hips and legs. She clasped her hands together and the gesture pushed her chest together between her arms. “Margaret Archer--er, Atwood.”

“Hmm, she’s done a lot. Do you know what it’s about?” She pulled her hands apart and wiped her palms on her dark pants. His eyes followed the movement. He wanted his hands there. Wanted to feel her thighs against him.

“Something about an apocalypse...um, a character named...Snow--Snow something.” He acted like he coudn’t remember. Couldn’t recall that it was stevies-doll who had recommended the very book.

“Oh, Oryx and Crake, I think it is. It’s an interesting one.” She smiled, proud to have figured out the riddle. “If you will, it should be with our most popular books.”

She hesitated as she passed him. He followed her as she went to the shelf just beside the counter. She hovered her finger before the titles as she read them. She bent as she got lower. He admired her ass as she did. He tucked his hands in his pocket before he could reach out.

“Yeah, I think it’s in sci-fi.” She stood and peeked over her shoulder. “It’s just over here.” She led him down the narrow aisle to the end. “Starts just here so Atwood…” She scanned the shelf, “Here.” She pulled out the book and held it out to him. “We have it in hardcover too.”

He took it and felt the raised letters on the cover. “Thanks.” He didn’t even acknowledge the book in his hand. The aisle was so tight she was trapped between him and the wall. She gave a sheepish smile and he turned to press his back to the shelf. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

She nodded and squeezed past him. Her chest brushed against his torso and she pretended not to notice. Once past him, she cleared her throat. “If you need any help, I’ll be up front.” She turned before he could respond and her watched her go. He never would’ve guessed the mousy shop assistant would have such a lurid imagination.

You were in disbelief. It couldn’t be. Steve Rogers in your book shop? No, you were dreaming. Or was it a nightmare? Oh god, why had you written all that stuff? You needed to delete. Now. You could hear him. The floor creaked as he moved slowly down the aisle. You hoped he would’ve taken the book and gone. The longer he stayed, the worse you felt. Your cheeks were on fire.

Your phone vibrated. You swiped the screen and found a new message from CapUSA. You sighed and rubbed your eyes. You should just pretend you didn’t see it. You unlocked the phone and read the message.

‘Hey, how’s work?’

‘It’s fine.’ You answered. What could you say? Who would believe that Steve Rogers had walked in your door?

‘I just was thinking about your last fic.’

‘Oh yeah?’ You peeked over at the far aisle. The floor no longer whined with his weight.

‘Yeah, I’d love to re-enact the last scene.’

‘Sorry?’ You sent the message and it went unanswered. ‘I don’t get it. What do you mean?’

‘The one with the girl on her knees. Begging to be fucked.’

‘Okay? I still don’t understand.’ Your heart jumped. This was really weird.

‘Or maybe and I could fuck you on that counter you’re standing behind.’

You hit close and locked the phone. You dropped it and looked around the shop. You rushed out from behind the counter and glanced out the window. You turned the latch and the floorboards groaned. You turned and pressed yourself to the door. You forgot he was there.

How could you forget something like that?

“Sorry, uh, we’re closing up,” You felt around for the lock, “I was just--”

“That’s okay. I think I’m just about done.” He slapped the book against his palm and placed it on the corner of the counter. He set his phone on top of it with a flourish. “Why don’t you flip the sign and we can get started.”

“What are you--”

“Do you prefer I call you by your real name or stevies-doll?” He leaned against the counter and smirked. “Or I can just call you doll. I know you like that.”

“No,” You exhaled shakily, “Y-you can’t be…”

“You’re not happy to see me?” He asked. He didn’t sound like the hero you saw on the news. Barely looked like him now. His pupils dilated to darken his blue eyes and the shadows of the shop cast his face in sinister tones. “You can call me Stevie if you like.”

“I...What I wrote, it was just...” You spluttered. “I’m s-sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.” He pushed himself away from the counter. “I’m not mad. Intrigued really.”

He stepped closer and your ears pounded as the adrenaline coursed through your veins. You turned and fumbled with the lock. The door opened an inch before his hand slammed it shut again. He easily flipped the lock back into place and spun the sign with a flick of his thumb.

“You can close early and we can have some fun...maybe inspire a new fic.” His arm was around your waist and you grabbed onto his thick wrist.

“They’re just stories.” You kicked as he pulled you away from the door. He tugged the blind down over the window. “Stupid fantasies.”

“Well, consider this a dream come true, doll,” He spun and let you go. You collided with the desk and gasped as the air was knocked from your lungs. “I think you remember this scene.”

“What do you want?” You clung to the desk as you turned to him.

“You know, I’m everything people think I am. Straight-laced, valiant, boring.” He planted his feet and stared you down. “Or was...until I found your blog.” His tongue ran across his bottom lip. “It gets lonely on the road. At first, your blog was like a secret companion. It gave me something to look forward to but then it made me think. So many things I never even knew I was missing out on.”

“Please, I don’t know what you want from me,” Your voice cracked. Your fear surged and left you shaking against the counter.

“I want…” He tilted his head and his eyes flashed, “You.” He paused and pushed his shoulders back. “On your knees.” Your eyes rounded, “Oh yes,” He raised a finger, “Naked.”

You stared at him. You were frozen in place. The counter your only support from melting into a puddle. His nostrils flared as he exhaled; long and drawn out.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” He snarled and his hand balled into a fist.

You gulped and held yourself with one hand against the counter as you bent to unlace your oxfords. You kicked them off with your socks and mustered your strength. You stood on your own and unbuttoned your shirt. You kept your eyes on the aged carpet stretched across the hardwood.

You dropped the blouse onto your shoes and unzipped your fly. The wool trousers slid halfway down without help and you untangled your legs from them. You added them to the heap and stood straight.

“Look at me,” Steve ordered. Your eyes snapped over to him. “Good.” You reached back and he raised a hand. “Stop...I wanna do it.”

He waved you forward and slowly you stepped away from the counter. He bared his palm in a gesture for you to halt and you hung your head. “Eyes up.” He corrected as he came closer. He walked around you and stopped just behind you.

His thick fingers touched the band of your bra and ran along it until they met at the hooks. He carefully unclasped it and the cups fell loose. He tickled your arms as he pushed the straps down them. He took it and flung it away from him. His hands came up to cup your tits and he pushed himself flush to your back.

“You always wrote so vividly of me but...I never knew how beautiful you truly were...how good you feel.” He squeezed and slowly lowered his hands. He dragged them to the side of your panties and slipped his fingers beneath the elastic. He bent as he guided the panties down your legs. “God, that ass.”

You shivered and his hands cradled your ass. He ran his rough palms along your cheeks and up your back. They settled on your shoulders and he pushed down firmly. “On your knees.”

He stepped back and you unsteadily got to your knees. He walked another circle around you. You could hear his dusky breaths. Glimpsed how his hand ran over the front of his jeans.

“Now ask, like a good girl,” He stopped before you and stared down with a smirk. “Go on, doll, I know you want it.”

You closed your eyes and swallowed. You grit your teeth and gather what was left of your wits. A story. That’s all this was. The letters could be backspaced and no one would know better of it.

“Please,” You recalled the last scene you had posted. The tingle which had flowed through you as you hit the button. What had she said? You opened your eyes. “Please, I want to...I want to make you happy.” You shuddered as the words whisked from you. “Can I?”

“Can you...what?” He taunted.

“Can I suck your dick?” It was barely a whisper.

“Oh, well, since you asked so nicely,” His hands were on his belt as he spoke. “But I have a different scene in mind for tonight. A new one.” He unbuckled his belt and cracked his neck. “I want you on the counter. On your back.”

You made to stand and his hand went to your head. He held you down.

“Crawl.”

You weakly dropped forward and turned. You crawled on hands and knees as he followed, stopping just in front of the desk as you followed his pointed finger to the other side. You stood and lifted yourself onto the counter and laid on your back. He guided your head over the side as he pulled you close and his hands found your tits again. He tweaked your hard nipples and you bit your lip.

He rescinded his hands and finished unzipping his pants. You tried not to watch as he pushed his pants down, his briefs too. The blur focused and you gaped at the size of him. He gripped himself and you snapped your mouth shut. He grabbed your chin and squeezed.

“Now, now, don’t act like this isn’t what you wanted,” He pressed his cock to your mouth and you were forced to open as his fingers threatened to crush your jaw.

He slid inside and your gasp was stifled as he met the back of your throat. He forced himself further and you threw your arms out. A clatter of books and papers as you swept them off the counter. He lingered at his limit and wiggled his hips. You arched your back as you choked and he grabbed your tit, kneading it as he slowly pulled out.

He pushed back in just as you gulped down air and you writhed atop the desk. He thrust in and out of your mouth. You gagged and groaned. The noises only fueled his fervour and he sunk in over and over until your head pulsed. The spit smeared around your lips and his balls.

He pulled back and slammed back in suddenly. His motion slowed as he came. He grunted, his breaths stuttered by the staggered rock of his pelvis. You clawed at the counter top and kicked until you could breathe again.

He slipped his cock from between your lips and his cum leaked from your mouth. You sat up and coughed. His hands were on your shoulders again. His fingers danced along your throat as if to ease your struggles.

“Come on, that’s just the first act,” He drew away and you glanced over your shoulder. “Turn around.”

You turned on the desk and he pulled your legs over the edge. He pushed your knees apart and stepped back to admire the view. You dug your nails into the lip of the counter to keep yourself from closing your legs.

“I know you’ve been dying to see this,” He grinned and pulled his shirt over his head.

His cock hung out of his pants. It twitched as he tossed his shirt at you. You caught it. It smelled like him. He shoved his pants down without pause and he hardened again. You dropped his shirt and looked away guiltily.

Had you not written this scene a dozen times over?

He was completely naked when you looked again. He came close, his hands on your knees as he knelt before you. You tried to pull your legs together but he held them apart. He shook his head and tutted.

“Just sit back and enjoy,” He licked his lips. “Trust me, it’s better than you could ever imagine.”

Your shock took over completely. You watched as he bowed his head and you felt his hot breath on your thighs. When his tongue met your pussy you gasped. He delved between your folds and swirled around your clit. Your nails went deeper into the wood and your thighs shook. It felt good. It shouldn’t, though.

He buried his face deeper and you watched his golden locks from above. He reached over blindly, his large hand found yours, and he guided it to the back of his head. He held it there a moment before letting go. You clung to him as he hands glided up your thighs and he framed your vee with thumb and index.

You arched your back and moaned. It was your declaration of surrender. You couldn’t resist it any longer. The heat stirred inside of you, the flames licking at your thighs and back. You urged Steve closer though he couldn’t possibly go any deeper.

His hands slipped down to the outside of your thighs. Your legs closed around his head and held him there. He tipped you slightly and you curled around him as he continued to lap. Your breaths mixed with throaty hums and you fell back.

You had one hand still on his head and the other in your hair as you cried out in a mighty climax. He didn’t stop until you were shaking across the counter. When at last his mouth left you, you shivered. A sudden coolness washed over your body. He stood and you looked at him through the haze.

He grabbed your waist and pulled you to your feet. You wavered and he spun you quickly. You caught yourself on the desk and he slapped your ass. “That’s it,” He purred. “You’re getting it now.”

He nudged your shoulder until you were bent entirely over the counter, your toes barely met the floor. He rubbed your ass and pulled your cheeks apart. His cock poked you as his hand slipped lower and he tickled just below your ass. You squirmed and he chuckled.

He felt around and his cock slipped lower as he bent his knees. He dragged his tip along your folds before prodding at your entrance. He shoved his hand between your legs and forced them apart.

He pushed inside and slowly stretched you around him. Your head shot up at the strain. A mix of pain and pleasure as he got deeper and deeper.

You whined as he bottomed out and his hips bucked almost instinctively. He hit your cervix and you cried out. He eased out and pushed back in. He repeated this again and again, his motion careful. Deliberate. He brought his pelvis flush to your ass and groaned.

“Fuck,” He slapped your ass again.

He drew back and slammed into you all at once. All restraint was lost and he thrust mercilessly. His pace was wild. You reached out to grab at the edge of the counter, your hips hitting the other painfully. The spark had caught and you felt the flame about to burst.

Your orgasm was surprising. More agony than pleasure. You whimpered and pushed your head into the counter as you heaved. You could barely breath as Steve never wavered. He fucked until you until your walls ached. Until they turned numb and you were nothing but a mewling fool before him.

He bent over your, his muscled torso against your sweaty back. He rutted atop you frantically. His hips jerked as his grunts deepened. His breath caught and he swore. He lifted himself off you and you felt the warmth spill down your ass and thigh.

You laid breathless as he panted behind you. He rubbed his cum into your skin with two fingers and you shook. You tried to push yourself up from the desk. He caught your hip and shoved you back down.

“Oh, we’re not even close to the finale,” He pinched your ass and you squeaked. “Not to mention the epilogue.”

tags to be added in reblog

#steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers x reader #fic #steve rogers fic #au #marvel #mcu #captain america #dark!steve rogers #dark steve rogers #steve rogers #dark!fic #dark fic #dark!verse #darkverse

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fernandidilly-yo · 3 years

Text

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by: my lovely friend Rays! @under-the-shady-tree (Thank you for tagging me, this was fun!)

Name(s): Fern/Fernando

Fandom(s): You all know I jump from fandom to fandom, where ever my hypefixation takes me. But I am currently on a Umbrella Academy kick (as I’m sure you’ve all noticed)

Where you post: I still post on FF.net cause certain fandoms are still pretty active there. But I really prefer Ao3.

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): Oh, bet I can guess this one... ‘What Has Been Seen, Cannot Be Undone’, yup, a oneshot I wrote over the span of three days in-between my treatments down at the clinic...what a wild ride of sleep deprivation.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos): And we can all guess this one, I’m sure it’s the reason half of you followed me in the first place *drum roll* ‘Reintroducing Hope’, the first fanfiction I ever wrote. It’ll always hold a special place in my heart, though I can’t reread it without cringing at my old writing. ;P

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Hmm. I think I’d have to go with ‘Worlds Apart’, I think that story is where I really started growing as a writer. I put a lot of love and work into that fic. It is a purely self indulgent story and one I wrote more for myself rather than others, but I’m so happy that other people enjoy it and that I still get traffic and new people looking at it even though I haven’t updated in a while. (I do plan to finish that story, I love it very much)

Fic you were nervous to post: Um, all of them!? There’s always at least a little bit of nervous excitement, I think. But ‘Play Pretend’ I remember being pretty nervous about. The fact that it’s a gender-bent story almost made me not want to write it, because I usually avoid those fics- so to write one felt weird, and I didn’t think people would read it once they saw the summary. But so many of you did! And I’m really glad I did write it, that fic was such a blast to write, and I honestly love that story.

How do you choose your titles?: Honestly? My titles are normally one of the first things I think of. I know that’s odd, but while the fic is forming in my head, (just an idea and not even on paper yet) usually a name will pop up into my brain and not only does that spurs me on to actually write it, but 99% of the time that is the name that I stick with. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Do you outline?: Yes, definitely. I’m not sure that my notes would be coherent to anyone but myself. But while writing a big story my doc is filled with random notes, snippets of dialogue, and half formed scenes that I want to write. (Also my desk gets covered in post-its) It’s organized chaos, and I make sense of it as I go. ;D

Complete: Twenty-four! Five multi-chapter and nineteen oneshots.

In-Progress: ‘Worlds Apart’, of course, which I will be updating and finishing...eventually...‘In Need of Assistance’, though each chapter can be read as a oneshot, I do surprising have some background plot that will eventually lead to its finish. And! My latest story ‘Time in a Bottle’ which is my main focus right now, and has been just, really fun to write and share with you guys. <3

Coming soon/not yet started: Good lord, where do I even start with this one. I have a bunch of half-written fics collecting dust in my folders, so there are those. There are also a few atla fics I have half written, which will be monster multi-chapters. I’ve been in that fandom since I was a kid, so I’d love to jump in with some of my own stories now that the fandom is so alive again. ;P

Prompts?: Nope, can’t. My brain likes to run with its own ideas. If I ever take a prompt I usually subvert and go so far off into another direction that it doesn’t even resemble the prompt anymore.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: I actually have a very big project I’m excited about, but I’m keeping that secret until I can post it! For right now, ‘Time in a Bottle’ has been a joy to write, and the reaction it’s gotten so far has been amazing. I’ve felt out of sorts with my writing for about two years now, and this story has sparked something back in me, and I’m having a lot of fun with it. So I’m really excited to finish that and to get to some of the upcoming chapters.

I have babbled enough! Here are the people I will tag- @sparkstar-trash @beguilewritesstuff @goldkirk @captainkirkk no pressure to join in. But I will say, thinking about some of these stories did leave me feeling nostalgic, it was fun.

#fanfiction #i don't usually do these. but it was fun to think about some of my past works #ask game #fernando talks #my posts

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moonwaif · 5 years

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Latte (H)Art: Ch. 6

Summary: Traumatized after being rejected by Kirishima Ayato, her first love, a teenaged Hinami vows that she will never fall in love again. Four years later, Hinami is a young woman trying to get by in life. Her painful past is behind her - at least, until she gets a job at Aogiri Tree Café, where she runs into a few familiar faces...AyaHina human!AU

Chapter Title: “Openings”

Touka and Hinami catch up. Will Hinami use this opportunity to learn more about Ayato's past, or will she chicken out?

Rating: T

A/n: Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I always look forward to getting your feedback. It’s really encouraging when people take the time to leave a comment.Originally, I wanted to make this chapter longer. As I was writing, I decided to shorten it for pacing reasons, and move some of the originally planned events to the next chapter. One of my favorite things is sitting down to a nice, long update, so I apologize for the length. As usual, I'm editing myself, so if you notice errors I apologize. I will hopefully have those cleaned up soon. I just get so sick of rereading my own stuff over and over again. I hope that you can still enjoy the chapter

Touka had always been beautiful, but Hinami was still surprised by the grace and composure she radiated strolling into Aogiri Tree.

“Hina-chan!” Her smile was friendly and relaxed, as if it had been mere days instead of years since their last meeting. “What a surprise! Are you working here now?”

Hinami nodded. The flimsy paperback crackled in her tightening grip. “Yes. I just started a few weeks ago.”

“That’s funny, ‘cause I just saw this guy yesterday” - she leveled an accusatory glare at Ayato, who scowled - “and he didn’t tell me a thing!”

“Why are you here, ugly nee-chan?” he groused. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

“Since you helped out so much yesterday, I thought I’d come by and share some of the wages. Besides, I wanted to check up on my little brother, make sure he’s staying out of trouble.”

“You should know better than that, Touka-chan,” Naki interjected, sweeping under a nearby table. “That one’s hopeless.”

“Oi, don’t speak to my sister so comfortably!”

Touka turned to Hinami, ignoring the ensuing bickering. “So, how is everything going here? I hope Ayato-kun isn’t scaring you too much with that bruised face he has on.”

“N-no! Everything is good.”

“Are they picking on you?”

“Not too much,” Hinami said, while inside she screamed, ‘Yes, Touka-chan, save me!’

“Well if they do, just tell me.”

“Look, hag,” Ayato interrupted, seeming to remember his sister was there in the first place, “I don’t need your money, so get lost.”

“I’m talking with Hina-chan,” she retorted. “Stop being so rude. By the way, Hina-chan, why don’t you make me a cappuccino? I’m really curious to see how your skills have improved!”

Touka chatted easily while Hinami brewed the espresso, filling her in on the latest doings of the Anteiku crowd. Tsukiyama had stopped modeling, but was still designing. Nishiki was finishing up med school; he and Kimi were engaged. Banjou and Yomo were both working at :re, the coffee shop Touka had opened with the money Yoshimura had left her after he had passed away from heart failure.

There was only one person suspiciously absent from her list - the one person Hinami was the most interested to hear about.

“Mmm, Hina-chan, this is good!” Touka said, sampling the cappuccino. “I like the foam rabbit you made too. It’s so cute! I’m sorry I had to ruin it.”

Hinami blushed. “I remembered you liked rabbits a lot, so…”

“You’ve really grown as a barista. I’m proud of you.”

Hinami wasn’t sure how to react to this compliment. It didn’t help that she could sense Ayato listening intently from just a few feet away. Thankfully Takizawa chose this moment to stick his head out of the kitchen.

“Ayato-san, there’s a phone call for you. Delivery stuff.”

“Ayato-san?” Touka repeated, smirking. “Wow, manager; this workplace is so laid-back.”

He ignored her. Touka watched him leave with a thoughtful smile. Gradually, her gaze lowered to the steaming cup clasped between her hands. Hinami noted the gentle lavender waves that framed her face, the full lashes that dusted her cheekbones.

“I can’t believe you’re working at my brother’s cafe,” she said. “Well, not HIS cafe, but in the same place as him. What a weird coincidence.”

“Yeah,” Hinami agreed, staring down at the counter.

“Don’t misunderstand; I’m really, really glad to see you, Hinami-chan. We still think and talk a lot about you all the time. I’ll have to let everyone know I saw you here so they can stop by and say hello, too.”

“Ah, no!” Hinami blurted, drawing a quizzical look from Touka. “I mean, please don’t. I don’t want to trouble anyone…”

“Trouble anyone? Of course not. I can’t wait to tell Banjou. He’s gonna be so jealous I got to see you.”

‘I doubt it,’ Hinami thought with a pang. ‘More like disappointed when he founds out I’m just a drop-out loser…’

“Actually, Touka-chan,” she began, measuring her words carefully, “please don’t tell anyone just yet. I’d like to surprise them, when I’m ready. But enough about me. How are you doing? You’ve told me about everyone except yourself.”

‘Well. Almost everyone.’

Touka took a long sip. “It’s been good. I like having my own business. It’s hectic and stressful, but it feels good to do things my own way and help make other people’s lives a little brighter in the process. If you ever get sick of this place, you should come work at :re.”

“Eh, really? I’ll keep it in mind.”

There was a moment of silence. Hinami’s curiosity finally won out.

“How is Kaneki-kun doing?”

Touka’s smile stiffened.

“You know as much as I do, Hinami-chan. You were still here in Tokyo when he disappeared.”

That was the same word Ayato had used; ‘disappeared.’ Her chest tightened.

“You haven’t heard from him since then?”

Touka shook her head. “I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you something. I know you two were close.”

‘Not as close as you were,’ Hinami thought.

“So.” Touka took another sip. “Have you written anything lately?”

Hinami’s face burned.

“I - no. I don’t really do that anymore.”

“That’s a shame. I always enjoyed getting to read your stories, even though you didn’t share them very often.”

“I didn’t really have enough time to keep writing." It couldn’t have been further from the truth. Between skipping classes, ignoring homework and hiding out in convenience stores in an effort to avoid her relatives, she’d probably had enough time to fill volumes. She’d just lost the desire to do.

“I see,” Touka said. “You’ve changed a lot, Hinami-chan. But that’s okay. I changed a lot after high school, too. And Ayato-kun, well - you can see how much he’s changed.”

Touka’s expression was withdrawn, even wistful as she stirred her cappuccino. The words Ayato had spoken that day in the basement suddenly came back to her: ‘Do you have any idea the mess you left behind, the crap-ton of bullshit that the rest of us had to clean up for you?

‘You. Fucked. Up. Everything.’

“Touka-chan, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

She braced herself against the counter. “After I left Tokyo, did anything else happen at my old school? Maybe your brother mentioned something to you…”

Touka lowered her mug. She was no longer smiling. “Why? Did he say something?”

“Sort of, but I didn’t really understand. I know about some of the things that happened, but he made it sound like there was something else I never heard about.”

Touka sighed. “I can’t really tell you what my brother was thinking when he said...whatever it was he said to you, but I do know this: life came at Ayato-kun fast in high school. Real fast. A lot of it was his own fault, but...he got his comeuppance, if that’s any consolation.”

Hinami opened her mouth to protest, then stopped. Why pretend that revenge wasn’t at least a little bit sweet?

“What kind of comeuppance?” she asked instead, trying not to sound too curious.

“Why not ask Ayato-kun directly? He knows more about it than I do.”

“Ask me what?” Ayato demanded, exiting the kitchen. His eyes flashed between them suspiciously as he resumed his place at the register.

Hinami blanched. Touka was quick on her feet.

“About your banged up face, probably,” she lied, much to Hinami’s relief. “You know, you’re not exactly helping Aogiri Tree’s image. When customers walk in, they probably see that busted mug and have a heart attack.”

“Tch. What do you know, old lady.”

“When are you ever gonna quit that fighting stuff?”

Touka’s brow was furrowed, her lips pursed in a thin, crooked line. She looked more like the cranky onee-chan that Hinami remembered.

“Whatever,” Ayato muttered. “Why don't you just scram already? I told you, I don’t need your money. Let’s just call it even.”

"Fine, if you’re gonna be so stubborn about it,” Touka retorted. She pushed her mug away. “I’ll just assume this cappuccino is on the house, too.”

Hinami watched as Touka gathered her things, words teetering on the edge of her tongue. She wanted to tell her about Sasaki Haise. She wanted to apologize for abandoning Touka and everyone else in Anteiku without looking back.

“Oh! That’s right.”

Touka rummaged in her purse before pulling out a business card and a pen. She scribbled a number on the back and slid the card across the counter.

“That has :re’s address and hours,” she explained. “Stop by anytime; it’s on me. Also, that’s my personal phone number on the back. Give me a call when you can’t stand my brother anymore. I’ll find something for you to do at :re.”

“Stop trying to steal our employees,” Ayato protested, but his eyes had softened. Hinami took the card. It felt sturdy in her hands. Touka’s name gleamed up at her in elegant, embossed script.

“I’ll come by as soon as I have free time,” Hinami said.

She didn’t plan on having any free time.

Touka’s encouraging presence energized Hinami throughout the rest of the day. When it was time to train with Ayato after work, she was still going strong.

“Ready to get to some of the good stuff?” he asked once they’d finished warming up.

“I guess,” Hinami answered, not sure if she should be excited or scared.

“All right. First, review time. So far we’ve covered two basic punches: the jab and the cross. You remember what those are right?”

“I think so…”

“Then throw on some gloves and show me your best right cross.”

Hinami always felt a bit silly wearing the training gloves. She was an imposter in a cheap disguise. A stick-thin nerd like her probably looked ridiculous. Even so, she faced the punching bag and tried to focus on her breathing, assuming the stance Ayato had taught her: both fists raised, one pulled in close to her face, feet spread slightly apart.

“Tuck that chin,” Ayato muttered. She bent her neck quickly, chin pressing into her shoulder. He nodded. “Good. Now rotate that hip…”

Hinami shifted her weight to her back foot. Arm tense, she swung her fist at the punching bag, her body turning in the direction of the punch with as much energy as she could muster.

“Needs improvement,” Ayato said shortly. “But whatever. It’s gonna be awhile before you’re strong enough for your hits to do any damage - if you ever get to that point in the first place. If you’re gonna have a chance in hell, you’ll need to learn some defensive maneuvers.”

“Like blocking techniques?” asked Hinami.

"In order to block, you actually need something to block WITH. If a shrimp like you tries to block a hit, they’ll get squashed. That’s why we’re gonna start with evading.”

‘Evading, huh?’ she thought. ‘Just like you and your sister evade all my questions about onii-chan…’

She vaguely wondered what he would do if she asked him about the “comeuppance” Touka had alluded to earlier. Would he find a way to dodge that question, too?

“Okay,” he said. “Let's use a scenario. Imagine Akira tries to bitch slap you again. What is the easiest, most sure fire way to avoid getting hit?”

“Um...duck?”

“No, genius; you run away.”

Hinami frowned. “But, I thought the whole point of this was so I’d stop running away?”

“No - it’s so you can determine when it’s best to confront a problem, and when it’s best to just distance yourself from that problem entirely. Like...just come here.”

Hinami approached him, arms held up half-heartedly. Ayato assumed a similar stance as he explained.

“Running away has its advantages. For one, it’s easy; more advanced techniques like slipping and ducking require skill. Anyone can run. Two, it wears out your opponent. Three, it can take you in any direction. You can go back -” He took a backward step away from her. “-which puts you out of range of an attack if you move fast enough. That’s good. Can you think of any problems with this, though?”

Hinami’s stance faltered. She always did freeze in the headlights of a pop quiz. Fortunately, Ayato didn’t give her too much time to think.

“You put yourself out of range to hit back,” he said. Hinami could hear the unspoken “duh” behind his words. “If Akira’s too far away to reach you, you can’t reach her, either. In the long run you’re gonna use up all your strength and energy trying to avoid blows while sacrificing any opportunities to land any of your own.”

‘Wow,’ Hinami thought. ‘It’s the perfect metaphor for my entire pathetic, non-confrontational life.’

“Of course, you can always choose to go around instead,” he continued. He drew close to her before pivoting to the side with a swift grace that took Hinami aback. “This keeps you in attack range, since you’re not actually putting distance between you and your opponent; you’re just changing up the angles.”

“I see,” Hinami said. She could smell the sharp, sour scent of sweat under his cologne, accompanied by the ever-present aroma of coffee. And had his shoulders always been that much wider than her own?

“Can you think of any disadvantages?” he asked. He was near enough that Hinami could hear low, gravely tones in his voice that she’d never noticed before.

“Well,” she began, dismayed to hear shakiness in her own voice, “it’s like before, right? You’re using too much energy…moving around and stuff…”

He nodded, pleased. “Exactly. Do you really wanna keep moving your entire body when Akira is just moving an arm or a leg? That’s the real problem with footwork, because even if you move forward -”

The little space remaining between them abruptly vanished as he stepped forward. The hair on Hinami’s arms tingled at their proximity. She stared, fixated on the bit of collar bone peeking out of his v-neck.

“ - you’re still putting in way more effort than your opponent is,” he finished. “Besides, this move only works if you have a size advantage. You wanna be big enough to overpower the other guy. In your case, I don’t see that being likely.”

He smirked down at her. Ridiculous heart - why was it beating so fast? This wasn’t high school!

‘It’s just a chemical reaction,’ she told herself firmly. ‘Hormones activating arbitrarily in response to his handsome face and muscle definition. I am definitely NOT attracted to him on a romantic, personal level. This is just human biology!’

She became aware of the silence that had crept into the room. Hesitantly, she glanced up at Ayato’s face. His smirk had fallen, replaced by a quiet, stern expression she was unfamiliar with. He held her gaze for an agonizing moment - then he gave a sudden start. Quickly, he turned his head, falling back a few steps.

“Yeah, so, I wouldn’t recommend this approach unless you’re looking to get crushed,” he said, voice gruff.

“What do you recommend then?” she asked, choosing to disregard his unusual behavior. Why had he stared at her face so intently? Was there a booger hanging out of her nose, or something?

“Well the best defense is one that gives you an opening to strike,” he said. He spared her a thoughtful (but abnormally cautious) glance. “With your size, you’re gonna need to be quick on your feet - adaptable to the needs of the moment. If you always use the same strategy, your opponent will use that against you. Basically, you’re not just trying to outwork or overpower your opponent; you also need to out-think them.” He tapped his forehead.

“So...being adaptable means I should also be trying to predict my opponent’s moves as well, right?”

“Exactly. But it’s not like a game of chess; there’s no time to read the board or deliberate your next move. Overthinking can just end up slowing you down, which gives your opponent an opening.”

“So how do I decide what to do if there’s no time to think?”

“Well, you don’t really decide, “ he mumbled, forehead wrinkling. “You just sort of do it. Look, I’m not very good at explaining, okay? Just keep practicing and doing what I say, and you’ll be fine.”

Hinami regarded him doubtfully, but kept her thoughts to herself. This must be his first time training someone.

“Anyway, I’ve got homework for you,” he said, with more than a little relish. “Ever heard of Irimi Kaya?”

Hinami shook her head. Ayato didn’t look surprised.

"Look her up. See if you can find any footage of the 2004 Kyoto fight. I’m sure it’s all over the internet. Pay attention to the way she evades attacks. Pause the video, pull it back, repeat it. See if you notice any patterns.”

“Is that how you learned to fight; from watching videos?”

“Not exactly.” Ayato shuffled his feet. “My case was...different from yours.”

The reformatory school for troubled youth in the countryside, Hinami remembered. Had Ayato been sent there because of fighting? A vision rose to her mind of an adolescent Ayato standing in the Anteiku break room, face mottled and bruised, while Touka scolded him in hushed tones. Even in those days, Touka had been tight-lipped about her delinquent little brother. There’d always been the implication that Ayato’s time on the straight-and-narrow wasn’t meant to last; that deep down, Ayato still wasn’t safe or trustworthy.

What was it Touka had told her back then? Oh yeah. ‘Don’t fall in love with my brother.’

“Anyway,” Ayato said, shattering her reverie, “be sure to look all that stuff up by Friday. Starting this weekend, we’re gonna get busy.”

“Because of the promotion?”

“Yeah; we’ll need to make sure we’re ready before Monday. Speaking of which, we need to talk about the new hours.” He frowned, folding his arms. “We’ll be splitting shifts, working longer days. With the new schedule, we’d both technically be working now - or at least whoever’s scheduled for the night shift would be. It’ll be probably get harder to find times when we’re both available…”

Was this his way of dumping her, Hinami wondered? She swallowed.

“If you want,” he continued, voice dropping into a low mumble, “just keep using the equipment down here to train. And then when we’re both free, we’ll meet.”

His eyes darted in her direction, daring her to object. She made a small sound of assent. Had Ayato really just given her permission to enter the sacred space of his room unsupervised? She wasn’t sure whether she should feel flattered or apprehensive.

“‘Course, you could always ask my sister for pointers,” he said drily. “She’s always liked you, so I’m sure she’d be willing to help. Unless she’s gotten too soft.”

“Touka used to fight?” Hinami asked, surprised. Ayato grinned..

“Uh-huh. Nothing professional, just schoolyard rough-housing, but still - she was pretty good. Other kids knew not to mess with us.”

‘Us.’

Hinami tried to imagine Touka and Ayato back-to-back, fists raised and smiles wicked as they prepared to kick some ass. Looking back at the strong, cool and confident Touka she had known growing up, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibilities. Touka had always seemed like an action superhero - maybe Catwoman, or Sailor Moon. There’d been a gruffness to her demeanor, an edge of danger that Touka had tried to keep carefully tucked away in Hinami’s presence. She’d never quite succeeded in hiding it all away.

Hinami wondered briefly what had changed for Touka. What had made her go “soft,” and what had prevented Ayato from doing so, too?

“Anyway, give me your number,” he said suddenly. “That way if one of us has to cancel, we can get in touch. Or if I need to send you an update to your work schedule, or - y’know, stuff like that.”

He reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a cellphone without looking at her. Hinami took it, feeling numb as she entered in her phone number. Was this really happening? Had Ayato just asked her for her phone number? And was she actually going through with it?!

She was suddenly and acutely aware that this was the opening she’d been waiting for. There was an atmosphere of relative peace, and their chat had lasted long enough to drift into comfortable, familiar territory. If ever there was an opportunity to dig into Ayato’s past, this was it. She licked her lips as she returned the phone to him, deliberating the best way to approach the subject.

‘I can’t just come out and say it,’ she realized. ‘I’ve got to...ease into it!’

“Um, Kirishima-san…”

He tilted his head expectantly. Hinami felt sick.

“Thank you for helping me.”

An indecipherable emotion flickered across his face. Before she could chicken out, Hinami plunged on.

“A while ago, you mentioned I caused some troubles for you in the past. I’m not really sure what you meant, but...you still agreed to help me.”

She paused, giving Ayato a chance to protest or reproach her. He remained silent, face abnormally stricken. His eyes were wide with something that resembled accusation - or maybe even pain. Whatever sense of comfort and familiarity that had been building between them shriveled on the spot. A nauseous shiver of self-loathing ran down her spine. What was she doing, digging into Ayato’s past - a past that was probably riddled with as much shame and disgrace as her own? She was just being nosy and rude.

“I need to leave,” she blurted abruptly. Ayato barely managed to stumble out of her way as she rushed past him, diving for her backpack.

She couldn’t bring herself to look at his face as she fled up the stairs.

Some people guard and cherish their secrets. Hinami was normally one of these people. However, as she rode the train home that night, staring fixedly at the loafers and sandals of the passengers around her, all she wanted was just one person she trusted enough to share her troubles with - someone to help ease the ache of confusion eating her chest hollow.

Her emotions must have shown on her face, because when she got home Saiko actually paused her mobile game to ask if everything was okay. Hinami lied easily - too easily, she realized with a sinking feeling.

She was still brooding when she got out of the shower. Just as she was about to finish toweling her hair, her cell phone vibrated from atop the back of the toilet. She glanced at the screen: a text from a number she didn’t recognize. Without thinking, she took her phone and unlocked it.

Remember to watch those videos I told you about.

“Oh. Ayato-san uses correct punctuation and capital letters when he texts,” she muttered, looking up at the reflection staring back at her from the mirror. Did he always do that, or was that just because this was his first time messaging her? She set her phone down without replying.

Why had he decided to text her? Maybe it was a taunt. Did he assume she was too lazy or forgetful to do her “homework,” as he’d put it?

Or had he just wanted to talk to her?

“Don’t look so happy about it,” her reflection snapped. She toweled at her hair fiercely.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t so easy to towel the thoughts out of her brain. She was still pondering the message over dinner twenty-five minutes later, picking at her ramen listlessly.

“Oo gonna fi’ish that?” Saiko asked, cheeks bulging with noodles. She pointed her chopsticks at Hinami’s plate.

“Ah! Yes.” Hinami made an effort to concentrate on her food. “I’m just a bit distracted.”

“Is it about your friend?” Saiko asked genly. Hinami shook her head.

“No. It’s...something else.”

“Oh? Then what is it?”

Hinami hesitated. Finally, she laid her chopsticks down, shoulders slumping heavily. It was all too much to bear alone. It couldn’t hurt to share just a little bit of her troubles with Saiko, could it?

“My boss sent me a message,” she said, voice quiet.

“Ehhh? Are you in trouble at work?!”

“No…”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“It’s just...we don’t normally message each other.

Saiko popped a carrot into her mouth. “That’s weird. Maman and me text each other all the time!”

“...really?”

“Uh-huh! Yesterday he sent me this meme.” Saiko reached for her phone. A few seconds later, she held it out for Hinami to see. “Look at that! It’s that ugly frog! Maman is so funny…”

Hinami laughed uneasily. “Sasaki-san must be a really nice boss.”

“Mhm! So what did your boss say to you?”

“He just...reminded me of some deadlines.”

“Oh, sounds important. What did you say back?”

“I...haven’t said anything yet.”

“WHAT?!”

The upstairs neighbor pounded on the ceiling, shouting a muffled, “Keep it down!” Saiko leaned forward.

“You’ve gotta reply!” she hissed. “That’s your boss, if you don’t reply it’ll look bad! Trust me, I ignore emails and messages all the time. It always gets me in trouble!”

Hinami lifted her phone from the table nervously. “What should I say?”

“Let me read what he said first.”

She handed her phone to Saiko, who peered at the screen intently. Hinami made one more attempt to finish her dinner. The noodles felt like chewing rubber.

“Okay. I sent it.”

A noodle went down Hinami’s windpipe.

“You WHAT?” she spluttered.

“I sent the reply for you.” Saiko grinned back at her like an eager puppy ready for her reward. “See?”

Hinami took the phone, hands shaking. Her eyes widened as the words on the screen slowly registered.

ok boss thank you i will~~~ :D

The entire commute to work the next morning was filled with dread.

‘I should have just kept my mouth shut,’ Hinami berated herself. 'Why didn’t I just keep my problems to myself like I normally do? That’s the best way to have a peaceful life.'

That absurd text message Saiko had sent, along with the awkward way she and Ayato had parted the previous evening, had her stomach twisting in knots. Would Ayato bring up her strange behavior when he saw her? Would he ridicule her for sending such a dorky, cutesy message?

‘If only Saiko had used correct grammar!’ she thought miserably.

When she arrived at the cafe, she paused outside the entrance. She could see Ayato through the store window. He was standing behind the coffee bar, accompanied by Naki and Takizawa. The three of them were preoccupied with something on the counter; she couldn’t really make out what. While she hesitated, Naki looked up, his eyes locking on hers. He waved excitedly, gesturing for her to join them. Hinami bit back a groan and entered reluctantly.

Ayato looked up as she came in. Hinami met his gaze with reluctance. She was surprised to see her own apprehension mirrored on his features. He looked away quickly, crossing his arms and focusing intently on whatever was on the counter. All of a sudden Naki popped up, blocking Ayato from Hinami’s view.

“Get ready to pitch that visor, Fueguchi-san; the new uniforms are here!”

TBC...

A/n: I’m gonna tell you guys a secret. Don’t let Ayato know I told you, but...He rewrote and deleted like twenty drafts of texts. He was gonna delete that one too, but then he accidentally hit send. Oops.Thank you for reading!

#ayahina #my writing #latte hart #ayato kirishima #kirishima ayato #fueguchi hinami #hinami fueguchi #touka kirishima #tg #tgre #tgre fanfiction #fanfic

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hadtochangemyurlquick · 6 years

Text

WLW Fic Rec List

with input from my beautiful friend @gee13

I promised a random anon I would give ‘em a more complete list of recs several months ago so here- in no particular order I have, Glee, Pretty Little Liars, Pitch Perfect, Girl Meets World, Supergirl, The 100, The Good Place, and Riverdale.

There’s very little porn without plot in here, but I went through my favorites on fanfiction.net and my history on Ao3 and if I recognized the fic I put it down. So some might have slipped through.

As I was going through these and rereading some old favorites I forgot about I wrote little bios. If your work, or a work you really like doesn’t have a bio it’s just cause I remembered it was really good and didn’t feel a need to reread it. If you want comment your own and I’ll edit the post and give you credit.

The minimum qualifications for all of these were:

At least 2k words for a one shot, if it was a multi chapter there had to be at least 1k words per chapter (For example: 14 chapters, 14k words)

It had to be completed or updated in the last year ish (but like I was flexible based on the quality, and if I knew the author or the deal or not)

It had to be Ao3 or Fanfiction.net and tagged appropriately (so I could find it)

Also I never really got into g!p stuff because I ran into a lot of transphobic or just really offensive stuff early on which put me off of it.

Or the alpha omega stuff, when my goach found out I was reading fanfiction she said ‘great just nothing with alpha omega shit okay” and that was like four years ago but I don’t care enough now to start. So none of those are on here (maybe in faberry but I don’t think so)

And they also had to be english, my spanish is still pretty bad so I can’t really read any of those- sorry :(

But let me know if the link ain’t right. And if you think something should be added let me know too, and I’ll read it and add it, and give you credit. My tastes have changed over the years to be slightly so if there’s something here that you think is distateful message me being like “can you reread this?” because it might’ve slipped through. Or I might be like “m8 thats some gay ass shit right there, agr33 to disagr33.” We’re all just here to read out otps getting together again and again in different ways, let’s just be chill about it

But don’t worry- what’s important is at the end of the day they’re all very very gay.

Italics is required reading for each fandom

Glee

Faberry

Dead Girls Don’t Sing (a must read) and the sequel Dead Girls Don’t get a Happy Ending - if you read nothing else for the rest of your life read this, it was written by one of the kindest women I know

You Don’t have the Right

A Perfect Match - slow burn, good if you like tennis

Comfortably Numb

Black Holes and Revelations

Angel Eyes

I’ll Be

Beers and Strippers

Kill the Light

Racing Against the Sun (fucking depressing I cried)

The Christmas Act

Acceptance and it’s sequels: Remembrance and Convergence

Making Angels Cry

Better Than Ice Cream - cute kid!faberry fic

Alone Together - slow burn af but worth the read

A Million Miles of Fun - ridiculous and great

Cuddle Monster - fluffy fluffy crack

Zero, Thirtyseven, Nine - I read this awhile ago and was too young to comprehend the genius

Secret Relationship Unlike Any Other - I was just thinking about this fic the other day!

Should’ve Asked for Directions - if you haven’t read this- read it I swear to god

An Accident of Paradise

Backwards Walk and the companion Between The Drinks And Subtle Things - angsty and painful, I once attempted to write a happy ending and even my fluffy ass failed

Better Where it’s Wetter - Introduced me to Ellen so…

Boats in the Sky

The Wish

Give your Heart a Break - left me a lil unsatisfied, but gave me some room to daydream about an epilogue

We might fall hard We might fall fast

I Told Him

Opposite Poles, Equal Partners - a quick angsty one shot to leave you unsatisfied :)))))))))

Quinn’s Second Time - I remember this being good awhile back, let me know ya’ll

Marley and Quinn

My Lost was Saying Found

Brittana

12 Days

Pretty Little Liars

Emison:

Ali’s Second Chance

Duplicity

Sinner’s Lullaby

the supreme

Dreaming

Gravity

Affair

In Holy Matrimony

Our War

A Break From Being Me

Acquired Madness

Her Silence is Deafening

It’s a Process

Orange is the new Alison

Mermaid

Brooklyn and the Baby

Dreaming - tbh I’m not sure if it’s good, but the concepts amazing and the first chapters are really good so we’ll see

Downtown Train - this author is an investment, I have a feeling they’ll get better with time and this fic is already really good. Perfect for a relaxing rainy day, or right before you go to bed because it won’t keep you up. Just like a chill fic bruh

Begin Again - THAT ONE BASED OF AN OLD ASS POST I MADE FOR NOTES BECAUSE I KNEW YOU FOOLS WOULD EAT IT UP AND SOMEHOW TURNED OUT REALLY WELL AND I DIDN’T EVEN ASK THEM TO WRITE IT THEY ASKED ME HAHA WHAT THE FUCK

Tattooed Memories & Hidden Stories

Soldiers are Dreamers

Lauren - frustrating for an emison shipper but undeniably well written

Place Your Bet - tbh everything by this author, while a little slow, is incredible

And The Sparks That We Had Can No Longer Light Up Our Debris - angsty and unsatisfying, but I’m a masochist so I love it

Like Real People Do

Right now it feels like we’re bleeding (so deep that we might not get back up) - I have reread this shit so many times, I love it to death

J'adore

she’s (not) too good for you - I reread this on the regular

25 Occasions People Have Celebrated in the Liarverse - seriously so good, I cried several times

Five Kisses Emily Fields Never Had (On Screen)

Half the Fun

A Break From Being Me - hasn’t been updated in 3000 years but sorta incredible tbh, read at your own risk!

Mulligan Madness

Ali’s Guide to the Art of Love - one of those fics that seems dumb but is actually really gripping and well written and it’s just that the summary’s misleading?

i’ve been afraid of changing (cause i built my life around you)

silver stepping stones - sorta like ‘Right now it feels like we’re bleeding…’ but told from Alison’s perspective and if Alison had gone with Emily. It’s not perfect but it’s a cute one shot and really in character

Ali’s Nightmare Before Christmas and it’s sequel Breathe Again - I actually haven’t reread these I just remember these being really really good

Art of Attraction - I actually know the author and she’s super nice and she writes a bunch of other great stuff

Charlissa

All the Things That Used to Matter

Vandermarin

every thought a thought of you

Love is the New Denim or Black

Sparia

Act Like Everything is Normal

wide open road (of my future)

Spanna

Take Me to Your River (I Wanna Go)

Other:

Chalk Paths

Tell me you Won’t Leave me - really angsty, I felt like it really made an impact on me ya know?

Thirteen Things - this is actually a series but every fic is completed and utter gold

All the Way Home I’ll Be Warm - okay this is a lil hetero but it has emison so

Big Little Liars

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Depravity

Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Times, They Are A’Changing - sorta every gay couple imaginable, I haven’t read it in awhile but I remember it being really good, there’s a companion peice: Baby, You’re the Best I’ve Ever Met that’s about Mona and Melissa

Pitch Perfect

Bechloe

Perfect Timing and a Perky Red Head

Moirai

Girl Meets World

Rilaya

The Circle

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou, she never says and the unfinished sequel which will continue to kill us “we’ll be fine,” he swore (even if you aint in the fandom read this, some of the best work I’ve ever seen)

Growing Pains Taste Like Five Hour Energy And Her Lips

Darling so it Goes - hasn’t been updated in awhile so read at your own risk

your hand in mine (heartbeats in sync)

we howl to the moon

do you fall in love too easily?

Passage - I reread this to make sure it was still good as I remembered, crying now- read at your own risk

As Observed by the Sky

pretty sleeper and it’s companion pretty weeper - why is the rilaya fandom so angsty? IT’S NOT NECESSARY

crawl home to her - vampire au, not normally something I’m into but the pickings are sparce and this is damn good

Revelations

Ten First Meetings

The Universe Wants Maya Dead - fucking angsty man, seriously

Day in the Super Life

with joyful ring - a cute Christmas one shot

a love that’s homeless - another cute fantasy one shot

ramble in the roots

Supergirl

Supercorp

Something to Write About

The War of Roses

Is this who we are now? - I wish this was more than a oneshot, I would’ve liked to see the ending play out but a fantastic concept- really

90408

Of Soul-Mate’s and Heart-ache

The Fifth Wall - I’ve loved the slow buildup but haven’t had a chance to finish it so no one talk to me about it ever

Secretaries Know Best - Jess is a queen and I love her

One Lena Comment Too Far - the greatest piece of literature to ever grace the internet

Did You Absolutely Have To - I’m dying and I love it

Your Name

Supergirl’s latest date - I remember this being pretty funny but I was too lazy to reread

Sunlit Honey and Lavender Sunsets and apparently the author has an unfinished sequel? Gold-Crested Ravens and Cornflower Blue Mornings

The 100

Clexa

Lightening Only Strikes Once - READ READ READ PLEAASE

Six

Down Came the Rain

The Blind Side of Love

Pie in the Sky - so so so so good! Like actually amazing

they take their shots but we’re bulletproof

you’re magic & you’re real

All That You Got (Skin To Skin Oh My God)

Copper Down - so I went on a clexa spree and so there’s gonna be a shit ton of those on here

More Than You Think You Are - a little ooc at times but pretty gosh darn amazing oh my god

masquerade dreams

blood rush in the hazy glow - this killed me, I wish the author would give us an epilogue, maybe Clarke and Lexa buying the bar together and watching some lost college kids come in making it a circle or something, but really really really amazing Jesus

I’ll travel through time to save you

In Another Life - a little Lexark for ya, it’s a short, fun, satisfying read you can knock out in thirty minutes

Origamis - to prepare ya’ll for the single mom au I’m dropping probably never but have planned out in my head to a tee

The Wife Project: By Professor Alexandria Woods - Autistic!lexa is honestly one of my favorite head canons that I believe is 100% true, and this fic writes it effortlessly

Almost Three - angsty but interesting concept- definitely enjoyable and I’ve reread it multiple times

Some Angels Fall

Commander in Chief - the best part about this is that in this universe trump is in jail

i’ll give you the moon - some christmas fluff

she gave me a good character (but said I could not swim) - angsty and unfullfilling so you know I love it

The White Queen Running - I loved every moment of this fic and it’s (unfinished) sequal - The Red King Awake, while admittedly hard to follow at times it’s still incredibly sweet while also being angsty and intriguing. 10/10 would read again. Also there’s so much fanart for it? Like really really good fanart? I’ve actually saved some of the better pieces to give me inspiration when I write tbh…

An Unfinished Fight - wonderful concept but would’ve loved to see the ending scene played out more, still an overall amazing fic and honestly so satisfying

Love Letters and Coffee Grounds - a warm christmas fluff for ya that’s ridiculously long but still great.

It’s in My Roots, in My Veins, in My Blood (and I Stain Every Heart That I Use to Heal the Pain - a little bit of plot exhaustion by the end, you can probably just stop reading after the second denny’s scene and then skip to the epilouge but still so fantastic. I stayed up till 2am reading this and have no regrets

This Isn’t Our Fate (But You’re Still My Destiny) - lexark and clexa in one amazing fic! Sign me the fuck up! Really fucking cute and fluffy and totally angsty headcannons for elyza I love.

An Adventure - I love the characterization for Aden and I love this so much in gerneral tbh

you’re magic & you’re real - I like exactly four headcanons about the 100 characters: autistic!lexa, dyslexic!clarke, nonbinary!octavia, and I can’t remember the other one. It doesn’t matter, all of the mentioned above are in this and it’s very gay and wonderful and I actually wish I could make a movie out of this because it’s so great

by her side - a warm fluffy christmas fic for yall

Let Your Hair Down - dunno, cute af I guess

The Days of our Lives - a series I didn’t have the patience to finish but I have adhd so… the first one was fantastic and I loved the second one, but it keeps going so the others are probably good too

Today at Dust - helpful if you want to cry

who told you that you were naked? - fantastic, like seriously one of the best things I’ve read.

i can fly higher than an eagle (for you are the wind beneath my wings) - GREAT if you want to cry. Not clexa centered but at the end yeah… It’s about Anya and Lexa

I have lost my pain - creative and interesting, well written and well done. A very good fic in all manners of speaking

I Will Wait (You Forgave And I Won’t Forget) - just a cute oneshot that’s very well written and gripping

A Forest Fire - I’m a sucker for fix it fics

Fallen - a series I didn’t have the paitence to finish but again, symptom of my adhd, the first book and second book’s first half was fantastic and cute. I just love the headcanon for Clarke

Fix You - angsty but also amazing?

Mystic Coffee - did this inspire fanart or was it inspired by the witch!clarke fanart?

the business of caring - I’m a huge fan of this author’s style of writing, it’s funny and straight to the point and very dry, I read this until 3:30am last night and I had to get up at 6 the next day

what the ground grows - written by the same author and you can see the similarities in voice. Seriously both are amazing but this one is considerably more angsty than the one above

I’m bigger than my body, I’m colder than this home (I’m meaner than my demons, I’m bigger than these bones) - so angsty but so wonderful, I actually cried so hats off to you author…

The Witch of Ceder Plains - a cute two shot

July 4th 2016 - not really a series like the description promises but a very good stand alone story that was well written

If Love Were Enough and the heartbreaking prequal What I Lost In You - both oneshots, both genius

Bury it and Rise Above - mideval oneshot that I love

Ramen, Redbull, and Spite - I need a comic book based off this, it’s genius

find your way to me - fuck this fic, no really, I stayed up till 4am reading it when I had to get up at 8 the next day. Fuck this fucking shit. Mainly fluff until everything falls apart

Sacred Spaces - wasn’t gonna cause it’s just a oneshot and the description is so bad but shit the imagery in here is to die for and I feel like I’m reading a van gogh painting seriously

maybe they will sing for us tomorrow: the only thing I’ve ever printed a hard copy of its my all time favourite probably (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

Everything by this author is so good in the clexa section I would reccomend all of it seriously oh my god

move on me: reincarnation fic that’s really beautiful (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

Against the multiverse: a really fun clever one shot (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

ultraviolet lights - a lexark one shot that headcannons Elyza in a way I haven’t seen her before (a soft gay extra mess)

Hope is the Thing with Feathers (That Perches in the Soul) - I really love the daemon universe even though I’ve seen very little of it. This was very vivid though and had great imagery...

You’re Love Is a Waiting Game - I don’t think the author knew how to end this which is why the ending wasn’t perfect, but it’s overall so amazing I love it and it’s def worth the read

a year of sundays - a bit of a slow read at times and a bit mind boggling at times that they don’t figure it out sooner but very fluffy and amazing and very in character

your hand in mine and it’s sequal your hand in mine (pt. ii) - at the time of my writing this I have not yet finished part two but the first one was mastered so well I can only imagine its counterpart will be of a similar nature. Also there’s smut in this

Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks - a series about clexa in the middle of a turfwar, it’s just three well written one shots that are gripping and have a lot of imagery and realism.

Something Suspicously Close to Hope - read if you like crying and Stranger Things, it’s a series of one shots about Eleven being adopted by Clexa and I love them

beat the devil’s tattoo - I haven’t read the one for anya but I imagine, if it’s anything like this- it’s pretty darn good

And I am driftwood, found. - really emotional, I read the first part but never finished it but this forced me to go back and reread it. Definitely worth it.

Feels Like Home - a short but satisfying read with very good characterization

a hand to hold on to series - definitely prioritizes family over romance but the kids were very realistic and I liked what they did when they placed Lexa in such a new situation so fast. I feel like people characterize her as bad with kids a lot but I don’t think she was...

or what you will - realiztic and heartfelt, I liked the poetry it was additive and insightful

enchanted. - are there ever enough harry potter AUs? Could’ve done with some more angst but this was acceptable.

She (thefooliam): a classical emotional roommates fic that just nails all the feels (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

This is heaven in hiding: lawyer multi chapter that’s really good and pretty smutty though! ()

Markenland Series - there’s just two right now but I think they plan on writing a third. Anyway, very cute, I loved the characterization and the slowburn but not kill me this is taking too long slowburn

More Women than Warriors - I can’t begin to describe how much I love this, one of my favorite things I’ve read of all time. Please read this.

Empath - gay

Love Is Blindness (I Don’t Want to See) - my dad sat next to the daughter of a notorius kingpin when he was in highschool, once she asked to borrow a pencil and never gave it back and he watched her use it for like three months and said nothing.

Habromaniac: cute one shot ( description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

this heart, fossilized and silent (once was tender, and once was violent) - surprisingly little angst after the beginning but in still a very realistic way. very fast paced in terms of action, I certainly was never bored...

Suffrage - there will never be a time when I am not interested in twentieth century, cross dressing, feminist clexa fighting for the rights of women

No Church In The Wild: one of the best heartbreaking canon one shots ever (description and recomendation by @lexascandlestores)

Kiss Me, Kill Me; It’s Just The Same Isn’t It? - lexark, a little bit of poetic fluff thrown in there but it hit just that perfect mix of clexa and lexark, very good

the earth, that is sufficent - written for clexa week I loved every chapter of it. Each peice was a standalone but also worked cohesively with the others. Flawless, seriously.

Into the Wild Blue - I just love southern clexa okay? Leave me alone

it’s called contraband for a reason - written by one of the best clexa authors of all time it’s hilarious, sweet, in character, poignant and well done. At times the format takes away more than it adds but it allows the reader to compare and contrast the beginning and the end and see the character’s develop more clearly.

there is no sweeter innocence (than our gentle sin) - this author may or may not be a genius Imma go binge all of their works and let you know. This was vv good at least. One shot

we’re only young & naive still (the bittersweet between my teeth) - part of that gaf au (you can find here) that I love so much... just a one shot but the different perspectives are done really well which is a hard thing to do well

Before Words, Beyond Silence, and it’s unfinished sequal, In the Screaming Silence - it has that satisfying instant clexa connection while not sacrificing plot or angst, no trust me, it didn’t sacrifice angst. I think the ice queen plot was a little rushed but it’s still fantastic and I’m excited to see where the sequal goes!

Skylark - A superhero fic that’s pretty damn cool. Clarke and the gang had illegal experiments done to them by Mount Weather and it gave them superpowers. They fight crime while trying to remain anonymous as well. This story is so clever and incorporates the City of Light/chips/ flame so cool, and Clexa are badasses, and just…read it, trust me. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

You See The Smile That’s On My Mouth (it’s hiding the words that don’t come out) - A childhood modern au where Clarke and Lexa are fuckin soulmates and best friends and it takes them a ridiculous amount of time to figure that out. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

The World Had Less Color Without You - it’s a college au where Clexa become friends after being paired together for a project, and fall in love even though they’re both terrified of it. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

Love on the Ground - This!! fic!!! is fucking fantastic. Canon-verse, angsty, so, so good. Just read it. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

Mysteries of Love - There’s another apocalypse, but Clexa are soulmates, and there’s a happy ending. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

Essays in Existentialism: FtWD - a writer on tumblr publishes a lot of fics, either multi or oneshots under the ‘essays in exstentialism’ I haven’t read any beyond this lexark multi but this lexark multi was pretty fricken amazing ngl. Unfortunately hasn’t been updated in more than a year so it’s a pretty big risk

You Ask My Name (and All I do is Listen) - I had every sort of feeling about this, it’s super in character and incredibly well done

The Library - a bar au with a perfect mix of instant connection and angst, really well done

possibility days - a celeb au that’s well written and annoyingly filled with useless lesbian themes for both our idiots

Hooked on a feeling - an HP au I waited a million years to be updated and then finally was and what I’m trying to tell you is it’s amazing and worth it and wonderful and fluffy and I’ll love it forever

gera’s step-sister au - a lot of porn, Idk why but I tried to read this a billion years ago but I reread it recently and loved it. But yeah - definition of porn with feelings

Come Morning Light - this author writes a lot of kid fics but this is one of my favorites. In character and well written with a heartbreakingly poetic style. I love it.

most ardently - like some of these authors fics are amazing (like this one) and some are dumb as shit and like? Are there co authors? Are you like multiple people? I don’t know but this was amazing, historical clexa is historical clexa. Has some themes of the suffragette au from my first rec list but carves out a nice space for itself.

Punchline - a oneshot where Clarke wanders around the world and runs into Lexa a lot except it’s angsty and beautiful and there’s a lot of imagery

clexa eternal au - painful heartbreaking well written fantastic. I love most of the stuff by this author too so like you can’t really go wrong

pump mud through my veins - I wasn’t sure about the structure at first but they did something really cool with it and honestly well done

out at sea - okay I saw the tumblr post for this but I gotta say they did something interesting and fun with it and I don’t mind. Well writtten and vv cute

we will meet again - put off reading this because I was prepared for endless heartbreaks. Did happen but totally worth it. Don’t worry there’s a happy ending

Zoo Parks and Restoration - I got annoyed with plot exhaustion but the amount of well done clexa in this made it perfect. I never really like modern aus that much but I love this

The Whore’s Queen - took a little bit to get going but once it did... damn...

We Looked Like Giants - for some reason I put this off but there was no reason to? It’s so good? And very in character?

when my heart is at war - I can’t wait for the sequals, the first one is incredible!

Fall Away - a lot deeper and angstier than the thing got me ready for, really amazing and really well done. Love them lesbians

we could be immortals - put this off for some reason I don’t know why. Very in character, very true to high school I think, and funny and sarcastic and well written. it’s a highschool au but it’s more in character than that, and there’s plenty that links it to canon. I prefer canon tbh, but this was a nice fluff break

The Taste of War and Heartache - angsty and unfinished this is another incredible work by thefooliam. I would ten/ten reccomend because where it leaves off is pretty okay. It’s a canon au but it has some modern elements for those who prefer that. Really a great fic.

Bellamy x Murphy

if you only knew (my heart is breaking) - murphy is immortal and it’s angsty, this actually introduced me to this ship and I don’t normally like mlm but I kinda love this?

cynophilia - geez I don’t know why I love this ship all of a sudden wow

(you owe me twenty) - this actually ends with Murphy and Emori but it’s still super well written and well done

The Good Place

Tahani x Eleanor

True Love Is What Janet and Jianyu Have - this author is actually getting a lot of the second season right tbh

Riverdale/Archie Comics

Beronica

Can I Kiss You?

maybe being in a closet isnt so bad

Real Bisexual Kissing

Thaw - a real fluffy piece that won’t leave you angry and sad at all :)))))))))

Friends Don’t Let Friends Suffer Alone

The list as of 10/1/18

That’s it for now, I’ll probably reblog it with a continued list or post another list later as I go through more fics and more are reccomended and updated and finished. I just thought I’d post it now for obvious reasons...

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bxebxee · 7 years

Text

buy my love [one]

Note: thank you for putting up with all those drafts. after forty-seven years here it is in full un-edited glory. it’s different than how i originally pictured it, but i’m happy that it’s done. this will be multi-part, and they’ll be short. sometimes they won’t even be connected. also i usually put pictures next to my scenarios, but i’m going to discontinue doing that starting now and moving forward.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader Genre: smut, smut, and more smut, sugar mama au Warnings: escort/prostitution, oral, semi-public Word Count: 1722 Rating: NC-17/MA

Multi Parts: [one] [two] [three] **ongoing, to be updated as i write...**

Summary: It started in the bathroom of a club...

Taehyung doesn’t expect a lot out of the latest networking event. It’s already two months into year four already, and so far he hasn’t scored a single internship, mentorship, apprenticeship, or a ship to moon so he could maybe die after disappointing his family for the last time. He’s generally not a bitter person, but it’s particularly off-putting to see all of his close friends make real progress towards their dreams while he flounders in some sort of weird, purgatorial, developmental hell. This was not at all how university was supposed to go.

He fidgets in his seat as he rereads the texts Jimin sent him reminding him of the online statistics quiz due tonight at 11:59PM.

[18:08] jimin: i know you didnt even start and its like 33 questions long

[18:08] jimin: it took me an hour to finish rip

[18:10] jimin: question order will probably be randomized but if u start and u need help lmk. good luck @ networking!

Taehyung is about 99% grateful for the reminder and offer from his roommate, so it’s with a guilty heart that he tries to squash the ugly 1% that wants to throw a tantrum about not needing a babysitter to finish the dumb quiz.

Not good enough. No one says those exact words to his face, but they don’t need to - not when the world slaps him with a daily reminder through each rejection notice and unanswered call. It’s not like his current debt-to-income ratio isn’t depressing the hell out of him already. Graduation is approaching; he’ll probably enlist. And this would give him another two to three years worth of a grace period before he’s forced to tackle the biggest question of his life: now what?

So as Taehyung sits in his worn, second-hand, knock-off designer suit at some alumni-student mixer listening to the career center fraud up at the podium go on and on about “opening doors for students” and the “great success” of the program, he’s bored. It’s all lies anyway because Taehyung has certainly not been on the receiving end of any of the benefits.

“…I’d like to introduce our next speaker, a true pioneer in global commerce….”

He catches the eye of a moderately attractive girl in a pink, silk-looking cocktail dress sitting over at table five looking just as bored as he feels. It’s almost automatic at how he estimates her measurements when he gives her the once-over (169cm, 49kg, 70DD, fucking yes).

She rolls her eyes with a smirk when they make eye contact, and suddenly Taehyung is less bored. At the very least if the whole networking thing didn’t work out, he knows he could probably get laid, statistics quiz notwithstanding. Pink Dress plays with her hair and stares him down, mouth slightly parted and crooked in an alluring half-smile. Her plump lips would look so pretty kissing his dick.

Taehyung wonders if she’s a commuter because he sure as hell hasn’t seen her around. It’s a small campus, and Taehyung pretty much knows everyone worth knowing. Judging from the signals she’s giving him, Pink Dress knows who he is and exactly what his reputation has in store for her. While he isn’t a heart-breaker, he is not known to to be celibate or monogamous.

He winks. It’s a little cheap and a little obvious, but it’s also effective as hell. He’s not at all surprised when her smirk smooths out into a coy smile. Taehyung is pretty much done with this whole event, and Pink Dress looks down to play as well.

There is clapping around him, and Taehyung is brought out of his vivid fantasy of leaving a hot mess all over her face. He looks to the stage out of forced politeness as he claps less than halfheartedly. The career center bureaucrat steps off the stage to share the podium, and he feels the world drop from under him when he sees you adjust the microphone down to your height.

It’s you.

He swallows once, twice, and again, not entirely believing his mind or his eyes as he blinks away the confusion and settles into the realization that you are standing on stage at his networking event about to give some important speech.

The woman who sucked him off last week in the men’s room of a dirty club stands smiling before a whole crowd of desperate students, Taehyung included, wearing the same, skin-tight, Balmain mini dress that drove him nuts that night. He only remembers the brand because you had chastised him for getting his semen on the fabric.

(“You’re so annoying,” you sighed after spotting the stain, “This is custom Balmain... you’re lucky you’re cute.”)

From his view at the table, there is not a trace of him left on your immaculate dress. After all, semen did leave noticeable reminders on black fabric. And apparently you were an outfit repeater. Still, if the dress looked scandalous to him last week, it only looks assertive and powerful tonight.

“Thank you very much for your kind introduction,” you purr into the microphone, nodding at the career center jerk just the slightest bit in thanks. And fuck him, you sounded like sex too. “I have to admit it’s a little odd hearing you say all those impressive things about me when not seven years ago you were telling me to, and I quote, ‘wake up and get my shit together.’ But a little tough love goes a long way, doesn’t it?”

There is scattered, awkward laughter, but that doesn’t seem to deter you from keeping your composure. Some of the career center advisors have their faces frozen in a polite smile after hearing you swear, and Taehyung can tell they regret inviting you.

“Anyway,“ you start once more, eyes gleaming with a barely-there smile, "Good evening students.” You are the picture of professionalism and poise, your voice steady and commanding with just the right amount of authority tempered by a soft, feminine lilt. “Hope you’re not just here for the free food.”

Taehyung forgets all about Pink Dress as you speak about your transition from student to entrepreneur, and if he hadn’t already cum in your mouth, he would have probably been more attentive to your speech. However, his mind inevitably drifts to more pleasurable thoughts like his hazy, alcohol-blurred memories of last week. Who could have ever predicted Kim Taehyung would be the recipient of a blowjob from some Millionaire Businesswoman? And who could have ever predicted she would be an alumni of his school?

“A lot of you are juniors and seniors, and you’re probably worried about getting a job after college, or grad school... and figuring out what to do about the debt. And I can tell you that ten years ago I was sitting exactly where you are sitting right now worrying about the same things. But sometimes all it takes to get you to the next level is talking to the right people and getting inspired-”

Taehyung smiles when your perfunctory glance over his table results in him being spotted. His tongue darts of out of his mouth to lick at his lips, and he can see your eyes widen with recognition faster than he expected. Taehyung did pride himself on having a memorable face.

You blink twice and look away, continuing your speech as if nothing happened. He’s mildly disappointed, but more impressed that you keep your composure so well. But he figures that you didn’t become a millionaire CEO by accident, and that knowing how to deal with unexpected surprises came with the territory.

Taehyung’s heart beats progressively faster as you sound like you are wrapping up your speech by inviting students to engage you in one-on-one conversations. You’re a lot more friendlier tonight than at the club.

(“Stay still,” you ordered, pushing his back against dirty bathroom wall. There was more force to the push than necessary, but Taehyung loved every second of it. His mouth felt hot from how you raked your teeth against his lips half a second ago, and he could feel the alcohol and lack of oxygen create a dizzying high that went straight to his groin.

You dropped to your knees, yanking at his belt and pants. Taehyung could hear his own panting clash with the clinks from his belt, and he struggled to keep his hands at his sides when he felt your breath release warm bursts of air over his crotch. He had a strong suspicion you would not take kindly to any hair pulling.)

“I look forward to the chance at getting to know who you are-”

(“Who are you?” Taehyung moaned, fists balling up as you laved his tip with tongue and saliva and heat.)

“-going beyond just what’s on your résumé and truly learning about you as an individual and what your goals are in life-”

(”What do you want?” you asked him, mouth carved into a wicked smirk. This was the third time you stopped, and while your wet hand jerking him in a slow, teasing fashion felt nice, all Taehyung wanted to do at this point was cum until he couldn’t see straight and then maybe pass out.

“I wanna cum,” he confessed, fixing you with the most desperate look he could manage. He felt like he would explode at any moment, and he was this close to actually sobbing. “I wanna cum so bad... please...”

And then you said something that made him hiccup.

“Where?” you asked before sucking him in deep again.)

“-this is your opportunity. Use it.”

Taehyung claps along with the rest of the students, hands coming together automatically as if he was a robot. His eyes are fixed on you, and he’s damn near elated to see that you’re looking back at him - and you’re smiling too. When you exit the stage, he makes a mental note that you’re sitting over by table fourteen.

He looks at Pink Dress by mistake, and she’s already moved on to make eye contact with a guy from table three who Taehyung recognizes as the Annoying Smart Kid from his Media Ethics class. Taehyung sees him blushing furiously as she bats her eyelashes at him, which is a little sad because she’s not even trying. They could have each other. He had a millionaire CEO to chat up.

#bangtan bookclub #bts writers #noonanet #chokemebangtan #bts au #bts scenarios #genre: au #genre: smut #member: taehyung #v smut #taehyung smut #taehyung fic #v scenarios #taehyung scenarios

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barduil · 7 years

Text

So… I have to get this out of my chest, and I’m going to be honest about it. Sorry, it got pretty long.

I’ve worked on Forgotten Roads for over two years. It’s a fic that means a lot to me, that has been building in my mind for a long time. A bit more than a year ago, I finally started publishing it.

For a while, I got at least 10 comments per chapter. Which, let’s say it, is a pretty darn amazing average number, and I couldn’t be happier and thankful that my dear story got so much attention!

But then came the 5th chapter. It didn’t go very well at all compared to before, so I panicked a bit. Okay, a lot. Because it got 2 comments. Two when I was used to get at least ten. Ten days later, still nothing. I made a post on Tumblr saying that wow, what went wrong, I’m heartbroken, and no comments meant I wasn’t willing to continue because obviously pretty much no one cared anymore. Surprise, I got a bunch of comments in the next few hours (some from the same person I believe but anyway.) Of course I kept going, because I loved the story too much, and hey, maybe it was just the low chapter fics usually go through.

The next one, I got 9 comments, which is below what I was used to, but so I didn’t worry about it at all, because 9 comments is amazing and after the previous one it was really a lot, so I thought things were going up again!

But then, again, came the next chapter. The next chapter was a bit special. It was the chapter I’d been most looking forward to write, playing the scenes in my head over and over again over the past year, so I was extremely excited to share it. Naively, I thought that leaving my usual “please leave a comment if you liked this chapter, it means a lot to me” or the like wasn’t necessary because people would react to what happened in the chapter, right? They remembered how upset I was when no one commented, right? Well no they didn’t. The hits kept rising and rising, I even got a few new Kudos, but I was stuck at ONE comment for two days. You have to know that usually, you get most comments in the first three or four days because for some reason after that many readers think commenting is not worth it anymore (which isn’t true, it’s never too late to comment) or I don’t know. So before three days went by I edited my end notes and begged the next readers to comment. Surprise surprise, I got comments over the next days.

Next chapter, I was two months late because of my Big Bang. So, expecting everyone to be gone, I anticipated and once again I begged for people to comment, because it had been a while and I needed to know they were still there to carry on. And, thankfully, people commented! So I was relieved, they were still there, I could keep on giving this fic my time and my love and my sweat.

Which brings us to the latest chapter. And I’m sorry for the spoiler for those who maybe meant to read it, but this needs context. In fics, there’s usually a little (or big) peak of comments when the characters kiss for the first time, particularly if it’s a slow burn. Because hey, that’s what readers have been waiting for, right? So, thinking my begging in the previous chapter fresh in people’s mind, and knowing people usually comment on such chapters, I went back to my usual end notes.

What. A. Mistake.

Because despite all of the troubles with the previous chapters, despite some readers who commented on every chapter not reading anymore, I still got at least ten comments on those in the end, I guess mostly thanks to my begging.

But for the latest one, I got 5. It’s been almost three weeks now, so yeah. Five. I’m going to tell it straight away: I’m heartbroken. I’m upset and bitter and heartbroken. This chapter meant a lot to me. On top of their first kiss, which I worked hard to make worth the wait (over a year and almost 50k words! hell, I made a post about how I was writing it once, and got a bunch of notes on it which like, never happens on posts about my writing progress!) there was also a scene that I cared deeply about. So, seeing only half the number of comments that I usually get, on a chapter that was so important to me and that was supposed to get a bit more than usual because of its content, well, it did break my heart and it still hurts today.

It’s been three weeks, so I don’t expect any new comments until the next chapter. But will there be a next chapter? You know, I was so convinced this chapter would do well, I was so excited to share it, that it gave me the push to write the next one in just a few days. I thought “yay, I can update in two weeks! They won’t have to wait a month or more like usual!” But people weren’t there. I fell from very high. So now that chapter is just there taking the dust in a folder, because I don’t have the heart to reread it, correct it, and send it to editing. I’m two chapters from the end and I just don’t have the will to write them. I’m tired of the general mentality surrounding fanfiction. I’m tired to see writers kudosing my work but not leaving a comment when, as writers themselves, they should know better. I’m tired of people reading my end notes and/or my many reblogs about comments but not commenting anyway (this does not concern people with social anxiety or the like, I know it can be hard.) Same goes for artists, really. I’m tired because thanks to all this, I learned that it seems it takes BEGGING to get comments. Doesn’t that sound wrong to you? That writers have to beg to get some feedback on AO3?

Now, let’s be clear, in my case this isn’t about the number of comments. I know very well I get more than average. That I should be ‘thankful for what I get compared to others.’ The thing is, if I was used to get six comments on this fic and only got, let’s say, two or three, I would have made the same post. It’s like, I would never complain that my Emmett/John fic from The Raven got four comments, I never complained that my longest Russingon fic got 5 comments, because that’s to be expected. I know how to relativise depending on the fandom, the characters, etc, of the fic. But when it comes to Forgotten Roads, what was to be expected was ten comments because that’s what the chapters always got, even if twice, it was after I begged. So of course I’m going to be upset when a chapter gets much less than that, and such a chapter in particular.

Please, don’t give me the ‘you should write for yourself’ speech. If I wrote for myself I wouldn’t put it on the internet for everyone to see. I write for myself when I write my novel. When it comes to fanfiction, I write because I love the characters I write about, and because I want to share that love. You have to remember I’m not a native speaker. Writing is hard. It takes me days, often spread over weeks, if not months. Editing takes hours and I’m so thankful for the hard work my betas put into my stories. Writing is an awful lot of work. I need to feel like that awful lot of work that you guys get for free is worth it, and right now it doesn’t feel like it is.

So, I’m going to put Forgotten Roads on the side. That chapter was the last straw. I can’t carry on like this because it hurts me too much and I care too much. You might say I shouldn’t put so much importance into fanfiction, but you need to know writing is all I have. Along with my friends, it’s one of the only things that make me happy. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like I’m not a failure. It’s the only thing I can get validation from. But now fanfiction is not helping me anymore, it’s hurting me. So I’m going to focus on my novel, like I did a bit more this past month. I know it’s not fair on the people who do comment and who do care, but I need a break. Just a break. I’m not giving up on fanfiction completely, but yeah. I just need a break. Maybe it’ll be two weeks, maybe two months. I don’t know. It’s not like I have many ideas right now anyway (nothing except Forgotten Roads for Barduil, just one for Gafou but given how my latest fic is doing I’m not sure I’ll ever give it a go, and birthday short fics (those I will do of course but I still have more than three months until then.))

I’m putting this in the tag, because this is important: the Barduil fandom is a dying fandom (and the Gafou fandom seems to be sadly already on its way there.) There’s no more art, and barely a few fics/updates per week. Most fics don’t require an AO3 account to comment. So, I beg of you. Comment on the fics you enjoyed. Simply say you liked that one shot very much, no matter how old it is. Simply tell the author you liked their update and can’t wait for the next one. Simply say you binge read that old long fic and loved it. We don’t need much. We don’t ask for much. Just a few words. Just ten seconds of your time. Just a voice. Please. What do we have to do to make you understand?

#barduil #tbh all i have the will to write right now are fics that i know won't get much attention because they're for rarepairs or tiny fandoms #i'll immediately block anyone who'll send me anon hate or the like #you're allowed not to understand how i feel #and/or not to agree #but then i don't need to know #and you can just unfollow me instead of hurting me further #i'm so gonna regret posting this but i needed to say it #thank you to everyone who's been supportive though #you're angels #you're the reason i kept going #but right now i'm tired

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