#and i have always regretted it. every single time
Text
| enhypen when… |
they want you back
╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝
inc: requested, hurt/comfort, angst, some fluffy endings, some nonidol!au, situationship (riki), food (heeseung), getting drunk (sunghoon), long distance (jungwon)
ೃ⁀➷ lee heeseung
ੈ♡˳ you didn’t expect heeseung to break up with you so suddenly, especially just a week before what would be your 3rd anniversary. he insisted it was for your sake, that he didn’t know if he could ever make you happy with the way his schedule was working out, that he wanted you to find someone better than him…
ੈ♡˳ he just so happened to dump you right before a tour, so trying to work things out was out of the question. this meant that he had left you to deal with your emotions with nothing but a bowl of ice cream and whatever tv show could get your mind off of the breakup. and to say it worked would be a lie.
ੈ♡˳ you spent months on end in a slump, and it wasn’t exactly like you could just open your phone to get away from reality when every other post you scrolled past had that handsome prick dancing in your feed. it felt like the universe was mocking you. you swore you hadn’t smiled since the day he dumped you…
ੈ♡˳ when that fateful phone call came, you were so glad you didn’t ever block the number. heeseung sounded regretful, asking to meet you in person for a conversation. as he finally saw you for the first time since the breakup, it was clear that he realized what he had done to you, dumping you the way he did.
ੈ♡˳ “listen, i’m sorry… breaking up was a bad idea and i should have talked to you before making such a big decision… i still love you, baby, and i want you in my life.. will you please come back?” he asks, holding out his hand. you reach out your hand to intertwine both of your fingers, your lips curling into a smile as you tearfully nod your head ‘yes’.
ೃ⁀➷ park jongseong
ੈ♡˳ it wasn’t like it was a decision you wanted to make, but jay clearly had other priorities that outweighed you. he tried to talk you out of it at first, but after hearing your feelings and thoughts, it looked like he realized just how much this must have been effecting you, and let you go.
ੈ♡˳ nearly 3 years after you two called it quits, you saw jay’s ever so recognizable face literally everywhere. but you didn’t feel upset, not at all.. it seemed that those years of training and practice finally paid off, and you were happy. maybe that break up was the right decision for him, he got what he wanted.
ੈ♡˳ you were standing in line at a cafe, stepping away from the counter to find a table when you crashed into another person. immediately you begin to apologize at the same time, but you recognize that voice anywhere. behind the cap and mask, you make eye contact with the same eyes you hadn’t seen in 3 years, “jay..?”
ੈ♡˳ of course, you end up at the same table, jay insisted he had time to spare and wanted to talk to you. his face has matured, but that’s the still the same jay who you used to see nearly every single day. after some catching up on both ends, jay clearly has something on his mind that you press him into expressing.
ੈ♡˳ “i have never stopped thinking about you, never… i did this all for you. i was so scared that i would never see you again, y/n… i don’t ever want to not see you again, you know?” he begins to ramble. “jay, are you sure we can…” you begin to ask, but he nods before you finish. “they lifted the ban… please, come back to me…?”
ೃ⁀➷ sim jaeyun
ੈ♡˳ it broke jake’s damn heart to break up with you, but he just couldn’t risk it… he didn’t blame you for your less than amicable reaction to the break up, but he still insisted that this decision wasn’t out of malice. words were said that you both regret, but in the end, jake always deeply regretted letting you walk out.
ੈ♡˳ his world literally became dull, his only light left in his life was of course his precious puppy, but not even performing was making him as happy as it did before. it was noticeable to literally everyone, to the point that his managers were telling him to either shape up or go into hiatus, and at this point, what did he have to lose?
ੈ♡˳ he sat on the edge of his bed, staring at your contact like it would make you materialize out of thin air if he stared hard enough. finally, he gathered his courage and clicked the call button, holding the phone to his ear. to his shock, you picked up after the second ring, “jake…?” and your voice is like honey in his ears.
ੈ♡˳ “oh, y/n… i… i don’t know where to start.” he admits with a nervous laugh and he drags his hand down his face. “let’s start with why you called.” you say in the voice that always walked him through any problem. “i… miss you,” he starts and clears his throat, “i shouldn’t have ever broken it off.”
ੈ♡˳ “you’re right…” you say, jake can hear that damn smile. “can you please come over…? i’d be a shitty boyfriend if i asked you to come back over the phone.” he says, slipping out the word before he even fully realized what he was saying. he hears your giggle, and it feels like the color comes back to his vision, “i’ll be over in ten.”
ೃ⁀➷ park sunghoon
ੈ♡˳ you didn’t know what switch had flipped in sunghoon to make him change so suddenly, but all you knew was that this wasn’t the boy you fell in love with. when you told him you were leaving him, it was like he didn’t care, he just scoffed and waved you off, “fine, leave then, you weren’t ever gonna stay.”
ੈ♡˳ safe to say it was a bit of a messy break up, you are sure he still has some of your clothing that you hadn’t dared to ask for back. whatever had come over sunghoon, it wasn’t worth pestering him over a couple of t-shirts. you weren’t scared, just frustrated, you wanted to know why he had such a drastic change.
ੈ♡˳ seeing him around campus felt like you were walking on eggshells, whichever new girl was trying to persue him constantly gave you stink eyes like they were trying to impress him (which only made you more confused because he certainly didn’t want them), and you started to wonder if there was something more…
ੈ♡˳ that is until sunghoon calls you at 1 in the morning of all hours, waking you from a deep slumber. you picked up the phone out of pure curiosity, hearing obvious faint party chatter, “sunghoon?” you ask, hearing a mumble on the other end and a shaky deep breathe, “y/n.. i’m sorry… i love you, babe…”
ੈ♡˳ “sunghoon, you’re drunk.” you stated the obvious, but he kept talking. “i know, fuck i know.. i’m being a damn idiot, baby please listen… i love you and i never stopped. please babe…” he muttered, slurring his speech. how can you tell if this is sincere…? you sigh and rub your temples, “call me when you’re sober, sunghoon.”
ೃ⁀➷ kim seonwoo
ੈ♡˳ with sunoo, the break up was out of left field, you swore you both were on a great path, you barely fought and not a thing was causing problems in your relationship, or so you thought. sunoo swore it was just so he could keep you out of the trouble that is life in the public eye… but you could see in his eyes it was more.
ੈ♡˳ it was so much worse not having closure, for all you knew, sunoo just decided to dump you and lie about it while holding back his own tears. all of it was enough to make you wonder if someone made him do this.. his company, his management? but even in that case… your love wasn’t grounds to ruin his career.
ੈ♡˳ you supported him from a distance, as painful as it was seeing your now ex constantly on a big screen, knowing that you could help him in some way was enough to bring you comfort. for all that your friends knew, you were just a very loud and proud sunoo bias. to be honest, you were, just not for any old reason.
ੈ♡˳ you almost dropped your phone when you turned a corner only to run into someone, who quickly grabbed your shoulders to steady you. “are you alright ma’am-?” he asks, and as soon as you looked up, you were face to face with sunoo’s equally shocked expression. “y/n…? holy shit.. i-i…” he looks on the verge of tears already.
ੈ♡˳ before you even say a word, you bury your face back into his chest, embracing him regardless of who saw or tried to snap a photo. much to your relief, you feel him hug you back, burying his face in your hair. “oh my god, i.. y/n, i can explain myself, will you let me?” he is frantic, but with a smile, you shush him and nod your head. “yes sunoo, let’s go somewhere quiet.”
ೃ⁀➷ yang jungwon
ੈ♡˳ jungwon is a smart guy, you’ve known that ever since you met him. that being said, you would never want to stand in the way between him and his education. that’s why when he was offered an abroad study opportunity, you swallowed your feelings and told him to go. it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.
ੈ♡˳ the goodbye was full of tears that even his parents couldn’t hide. he swore that he wasn’t ever going to forget about you, he would never replace you, despite how much you wanted him to move on with his life. little did you know how much you meant to him, and how those years of studying didn’t feel so worth it.
ੈ♡˳ for years it was just him, he barely made friends and whenever he called it parents, it was obvious he was not happy. they urged him to message you, even they could see just how happy you made their son if it was to the point he couldn’t focus. jungwon finally caved one evening, sending you a message and breaking that one promise.
ੈ♡˳ ‘i know you told me not to message you, but god y/n i can’t do this anymore, i miss you too damn much. it hurts going every day without you, i don’t want to keep living this way. i know you didn’t want long distance, but i can’t do this without you. please will you consider? i love you.’ he sends, setting his phone down and groaning.
ੈ♡˳ it’s a long and painful silence before he finally heard his phone buzz, snatching it up and reading the response from you. ‘jungwon, i thought you would never ask… i love you too baby, ill wait 2 more years for you.’ and with that text you sent a photo of yourself. with that one message, he felt like everything would be okay…
ೃ⁀➷ nishimura riki
ੈ♡˳ the best way to describe your and riki’s relationship would be something akin to a ‘situationship’. you both did couple activities that normal couples would do, going out on fun dates and sharing a few kisses; but at the same time, he never outright called you his girlfriend, or him your boyfriend.
ੈ♡˳ it wasn’t any surprise to anyone you both knew that the relationship was in a constant state of turmoil, with you both constantly calling it quits only to hit eachother up like nothing happened the next week or so. safe to say it was getting toxic fast, and even if you didn’t know how riki himself felt, you felt terrible.
ੈ♡˳ so you broke it off, telling him that this arrangement was permanent and final, and that little punk had the audacity to laugh and say, “you’ll come back, you always do.” to your teary face as you stormed out of his dorm. but you were determined to stay gone, and for weeks, you were… the longest you had been.
ੈ♡˳ you didn’t entertain a single text or dm, you avoided him like the plague and deleted every photo of him on your phone, but you still felt like complete garbage… riki made you happy even when you felt so disposable to him. in the midst of one of your depressive bed rotting episodes, you heard a knock.
ੈ♡˳ needless to say you didn’t expect mr. nishimura himself standing there with a reasonable sized bouquet of your favorite followers, and for once in his life, he looked sad… “i realized i’ve been treating you like shit lately… i’m sorry, i want to be serious with you y/n.” he says, and he felt an immense joy as you leapt into his arms.
bang bang bang i’m so back baby, requested by anon, i hope you like it! 😚😚 not yet proofread whoops
#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fanfic#enhypen reactions#enhypen x reader#enhypen angst#heeseung imagines#jay park imagines#jake sim imagines#sunghoon imagines#sunoo imagines#jungwon imagines#ni ki imagines
293 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can you dim the world...?
masterlist
summary: you go shopping with your mom but the store overwhelms you
pairing: Natasha x autistic daughter reader
warnings: autistic reader getting overstimulated at a grocery store
genre: fluff
words: 963
a/n: this is pretty much what I experience when I go to any big grocery store, and I wish I had Nat as my mom to help me :( (friendly reminder that this is how my autism works, so if it doesn’t relate to you then it doesn’t mean it’s inaccurate representation)
You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
When Natasha had asked you whether or not you wanted to join her in going to the store, you had excitedly told her yes, wanting to spend time with her. However, now that you were standing in the grocery store you regretted that decision big time.
The drive towards the store had been fun. You and Natasha had been singing along to the new album of Taylor Swift, and Natasha had promised to get ice cream after the shopping had been done.
Once you got to the store, things hadn’t been that bad. Sure, the lights were a bit bright, and the people were a bit loud, but it wasn’t terrible.
You had started to zone out at the cheese section, waiting at the cart while Natasha picked a pack of sliced cheese. She had to get the right brand, otherwise it would taste different than what you liked, and Natasha knew you hated when things tasted different than what you were used to.
Natasha had thrown the packet of cheese into the cart, and while doing so she had checked her grocery list, giving you an instruction to go grab something.
You hadn’t heard her, too focused on the store workers standing at the sliced meat isle where they talked and laughed while restocking everything.
“Are you okay…?” you suddenly heard your mom say, snapping you out of your daydreaming.
You blinked a few times before looking at Natasha, nodding.
She looked at you sceptically, knowing that when you were nodding you were indeed not okay. You going mute was always the first thing to happen when you were getting overstimulated.
“We just have to get a few more things, okay baby? We’ll be quick,” your mom reassured you, making sure not to touch you, wanting to prevent you from getting overstimulated faster.
Once you were getting overwhelmed with sounds, you would start zoning out, staring at people around you or focusing on a single spot. Then you would get overstimulated by all the people around you, fiding all your surroundings too busy. Then, usually following that you would completely break down at everything that was touching you.
Natasha knew all your signs, knew every step that your spiralling would take.
She was quick to grab all the stuff that you guys came for, leaving you at the cart, not giving you any instructions nor really talking to you.
Once everything was paid for Natasha took the cart from you, loading everything up into the car while you went and sat down in it. She brought the cart back before sitting next to you, waiting a moment with starting the car.
“Would you like it to be quiet for a moment?” Natasha asked you, waiting patiently on your nod or head shake.
Once you nodded Natasha leaned back into her chair, turning slightly to grab something from the backseat. When she turned back she handed you your favourite drink and your comfort snack, allowing you two to sit in silence for a while.
After about 10 minutes, when you finished your snack and were slowly sipping your drink, you reached for the buttons in the car, pressing play on the song you were listening to before you two entered the store. Natasha smiled as she started the car, knowing you were calming down. She knew you were probably not going to speak for another couple of minutes, sometimes even hours, but she knew you weren’t getting overstimulated by your surroundings anymore.
“Would you still like to get ice cream, or do it tonight or tomorrow?” Natasha asked you, knowing that giving you the reassurance of getting the ice cream, no matter when, would allow you to choose whatever you were comfortable with.
You shook your head ‘no,’ letting Natasha know that you didn’t want to get ice cream right now.
She nodded and focused on the road again, taking a detour, knowing you would calm down from the driving in the car while listening to music. Natasha learned that very early on when she found out it was the only way to calm you down when you were throwing a tantrum as a kid. She now knew you never threw a tantrum to be annoying. You merely did it because you didn’t know how to express yourself and handle your own feelings.
Natasha glanced at you, sighing. She wished so deeply that she was able to understand you earlier in life. You had been such a difficult child, and it turned out that was only because no one understood you.
After driving for about an hour, Natasha pulled the car into the driveway, letting you sit in the car to process everything while she went and got all the groceries inside.
Once she returned, you had already opened your car door and you were now sitting with your legs outside of the car, zoned out. Your mom walked up to you, crouching down in front of you and placing her hand on your knee.
“I’ve already, put the water on, and I figured we could have some tea or hot chocolate and maybe draw for a bit?” Natasha asked you, waiting patiently for your nod. She knew you would never say no to that.
You two went inside where you found the drawing supplies already on the table. Natasha must have placed them on there while you were still in the car.
You two spent a nice, quiet evening. You hadn’t much, and neither had Natasha. You simply sat in silence, enjoying each other's comfort. You knew the world would most likely always be too much for you to handle, but you also knew that as long as your mama was around, she would always make the world a bit more bearable.
(I’m so sorry I suck at endings)
Hello lovelies. As you may have noticed I haven’t been posting as often as I usually do. I’ve been overwhelmed, tired with life and basically just downright depressed. At the moment I just feel like dying, so if you noticed the lack of fics you now know the reason. I will try to stay active, but I probably won’t post as often (or maybe I will, idk, I’m a very unpredictable person and my mood swings are insane)
Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @tia-thesimp @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @hor1zond1ar1es @lorsstar1st @superlegend216 @ravensinthedaylight
#black widow#marvel#natasha x reader#mcu#natasha romanoff#marvel reader insert#natasha x daughter#avengers#natasha x reader platonic#natasha#natasha romanov#natasha romanoff x daughter#natasha romanoff x reader platonic#natasha romanoff x reader#mom!natasha romanoff#mom!natasha#natasha romanoff x teen reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x female
146 notes
·
View notes
Note
AITA for "forcing" my best friend to break up with his boyfriend?
🧸
I (22 cis m) and my best friend 'A' (21 ftm) have been friends since we were 10 years old and I love him more than anything. He’s genuinely the sweetest, most thoughtful, and funniest person I’ve ever met. He means everything to me and we’ve been there for each other through the hardest times of our lives so far and I plan on staying until the end.
It’s always been us two. Btw, everyone mentioned here uses he/him pronouns exclusively.
A has been with his boyfriend (21 cis m) for about 2 years now, and from what he told me, things were going great. Even if I’m not too fond of his boyfriend. A few days ago, we got pretty drunk at a friend’s housewarming party. A and I live together, and as soon as we got home, he suddenly started rambling about how he wishes his boyfriend cared about him the same way I do.
Legit felt like I was in some dumb romance movie for a moment there. I felt a little uneasy and asked him to elaborate. In short, his boyfriend essentially treats him like a doll instead of a person with real emotions. He feels as though his boyfriend just uses him to get his daily fix of physical affection and sex, that’s it. The only positive thing his boyfriend can say about A is that he’s cute, which boggles my mind. It’s true but there’s so much more to him as a human being.
A is an incredibly talented artist, super kind, super emotionally intelligent, and has a plethora of interests he loves to infodump about. I’m trying my hardest not to make this entire post about how amazing he is. He’s helped multiple friends clean their depression apartments and took them out to get fresh groceries etc. because it’s basic decency to him. He has such a big heart and holds so much love in it for everyone in his life. Being around him is just so easy and makes life worth living.
He’s just an incredible person all around and every single person that has him in their life recognizes that, except his boyfriend. They’ve had issues in the past because they’re not sexually compatible, which led to some miscommunication and made A feel like he was coerced into things he didn’t want to do. He just did them to make his boyfriend happy. He does a lot of things for his boyfriend, actually. He’s constantly buying little gifts, remembering what he likes, and plans cute dates for them to go on. His boyfriend does none of these things.
I want to mention that A has bpd and avpd. He has an intense fear of rejection and will do everything in his power to appease others so they won’t leave him. I always take the time to reassure him that I love him for who he is and not what he can give me. Basically just making sure he feels loved. Keep in mind, his boyfriend is aware of this but he just gets annoyed when A seeks reassurance from him. His behavior has made my blood boil several times in the past already, but I always kept it to myself for A’s sake. If I was vocal about disliking his boyfriend, it probably would’ve caused A a lot of distress and emotional turmoil.
Still, I don’t think this relationship is healthy for A and I know him well enough to know he won’t break it off on his own. It’s just his combo of personality disorders that makes it impossible for him. I told him about my concerns and he agreed, but said he feels bad for his boyfriend since he apparently doesn’t have any friends outside of A. From my POV, it just looks like his boyfriend knows A is out of his league and is grasping at straws to make A stay with him out of pity.
This is where I might be the asshole. I got a little frustrated and raised my voice, which I severely regret. I don’t want to blame it on the alcohol but it definitely had a hand in it. I finally told him about all these grievances I have about his boyfriend, how much I dislike him and how A deserves so much better, etc.. At one point, I essentially gave him an ultimatum. It’s me or his boyfriend. I didn’t really mean it, it was just a heat of the moment thing I spat out. I would never leave him like that.
A started crying and begged me to calm down, at which point I realized how shitty I was being and immediately began apologizing. We hugged, I comforted him, and we spent the rest of the night cuddling and talking about how he could approach the breakup.
Now that I’ve sobered up I feel like absolute shit. I know it’s not my place to tell A what to do with his romantic relationships, even if I’m his best friend. Plus, I want to be 100% honest here and say I might have romantic feelings for A. I think I have for a long time, but I always wrote it off as intense platonic love. So I may be biased in this whole conversation about his boyfriend.
I didn’t say these things because of that. I genuinely think his boyfriend is a huge dick and full of shit, no matter how sweet and loving he pretends to be. It’s all in the way he treats A. He’s one of those guys that paint their nails (nothing wrong with that but you know the kind of guy I’m talking about), pretend to be feminists, and steal their romantic partner’s personality to seem cooler. He even asked A to stop taking testosterone because he didn’t like how hairy A was getting or some shit like that.
He’s pansexual but has only ever dated girls and started dating A before A began medically transitioning. There’s obviously nothing wrong with that and changes nothing about the fact that he’s pansexual, he just pisses me off when he criticizes A for being 'too masculine'. You can have a preference for feminine people but don’t make that shit your partner’s problem when they just want to pass.
I feel like A’s boyfriend just thought A would always stay the smooth, baby-faced twink he was before going on testosterone and now makes him feel guilty for looking like a grown man. Some people don’t know how to appreciate hairy tummies.
Sorry for making this so long but I just want to be as honest and informative as possible to get proper opinions on the issue. A is now dead set on breaking things off because he now knows that I actively despise his boyfriend and he always puts my opinion above everyone else’s.
Was I in the wrong for doing this or am I just protecting my best friend? I’m glad he intends on ending things but I feel a bit like a conniving snake considering everything. It feels like I’m taking advantage of his mental state even if I’m not doing it consciously.
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
a love letter from your mother to you
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, grandmothers, aunties, and new mothers around the world. You are loved and appreciated for all that you do from being a strong woman to being a mother to all, and you do it all with beauty & grace. Thank you for all that you do and that you continue to do. We love you! This message is to meant to apply to everyone, no matter who raised you, or you consider as your “mother.”
pile one • 💐
dearest one, my life was complicated and a mess when you came into my life. I went through a lot of changes when I found out about your existence. I had to come to terms with some harsh realities and learn from my many many mistakes in order to be the best parent that I could be for you, and it wasn’t always easy as I made it seem. You made me a better person. You gave me a second chance to do the right thing when everybody doubted me, and for that, I am eternally grateful for your existence in my life. You taught me valuable lessons and things I never knew that I was capable of. You taught me how to be a mature, patient, humble, and selfless human being and mother. Although I endured a lot of challenges when you came into the world, I do not regret a single thing, and given the chance, I would do it all over again. I am so proud of you and everything you have manage to accomplish in your life. Everybody knows how proud I am of you, and if it was possible I would scream to the top of my lungs, so that the entire world knows how proud you have made me as a parent. Baby, I want you to know that I will always be there to support you whenever you need me, you can always count on me when no one else is there, so don’t hesitate to lean on me when you aren’t feeling too strong. My favorite thing about you is your ability to rise above adversity. You are so resilient and you never allow anything or anyone to keep you down for too long. You just dust yourself off, get back up, and try again and again until you reach the stars. Now at times, you can be a bit of a perfectionist and way too hard on yourself, and I want you to know that it is okay to take a step back and give yourself grace because everyone needs a break every once in a while. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. You are still the best in my eyes, no matter what anyone says or does. My precious child, the best trait that you inherited from me was your drive and determination to go after your dreams & aspirations. I’ve always known since the day you were born that you were going to do amazing things and be more successful than I ever was. You are truly the best parts of myself, and you are everything I could possibly ask for. I am so proud to be your mother.
sincerely
- your mama
pile two • 🌷
my sweet precious baby, I was so excited when you came into the world. I have always dreamt about how my family would look one day and I always dreamt of your precious face and how much love I would shower you in. You brought so much joy and happiness into my life at a time when I really needed it. Before you were born, I struggled to find purpose and balance in my life. I was constantly juggling my passions in one hand, and my priorities in the other. When you arrived, I immediately felt that you were not only my purpose, but my reason. I knew right away that I needed to make some changes in my life and do things that would make me happy. Your birth taught me how to give myself grace and how to take joy in the little things and never take anything for granted. You are my muse, my inspiration, and my pride and joy. I love you with all my heart and soul. Do you know what I absolutely love about you? I absolutely love your generosity. You have such a big heart and you are always willing to help out anyone that you see, but sometimes, I do wish that you be more careful and aware that not everyone has good intentions, or want the best for you. I also want you to be more comfortable in saying “no” to others instead of always trying to please others. You cannot pour from a empty cup, my dear. I love that you are so determined and goal driven. You never have to be forced nor told to get up and go after what you want in life, and for that I commend you for that. You are not one to accept losses because you understand that life presents challenges and you won’t always win every single battle, but you learn and accept the lessons that have been given to you with each challenging task, which in my opinion, makes you the strongest person I know. Last but certainly not least, I am grateful that you inherited my intelligence and curiosity for all things in life. You can be a bit of a overthinker and tend to worry over the littlest things, but I want you to know that everything is going to work out just fine, and there is no need to worry about every little thing, just enjoy this ride called “life”. I adore that you don’t follow the crowd and that you march to the beat of your own drum. You weren’t created to fit in, but pave your own path, no matter what anyone says, they are just intimidated by your uniqueness. Don’t ever try to fit into anyone box, and continue to be true to yourself.
your truly,
- your mama
pile three • 💐
my miracle child, you have no idea how much I am grateful for your presence in my life. You are everything that I could’ve ever imagined and I am beyond honored that you chose me to be your mommy. I prayed so many times for your arrival and I promised that I would always shower you in so much love since the day you came into my life. When I found out about you, I cried and jumped for joy because there were so many people that told me that I wouldn’t become a mother, but I never listened nor did I give up the fight. I pleaded and prayed to the Lord that he would bless my womb and heart with your beautiful soul, and he listened and delivered such a beautiful and wonderful human being. You are my best and greatest achievement in my life, and nothing could ever compare with you. I made a vow to God, that I would always love and treasure you for the rest of my life. I love you with every fiber of myself. I love that you are such a passionate and creative person. Your optimism is so inspiring and refreshing. I absolutely adore that you have such a zest for life, please don’t ever lose it even when life presents its challenges. Your smile and laughter brings me so much bliss and happiness. You manage to bring a smile to my face, even when I am going through a rough time, and for that I am eternally thankful. You are truly my best friend and I am so in love with being your mama. I am so happy that I have been blessed to watch your growth and be apart of every single stage. I am so proud of the person you have become today and you are the greatest child and best friend I could have possibly asked for. I am so glad that you inherited my perseverance. Your ability to keep going despite there being obstacles and difficulties in your path. Your resilience is admirable and you handle your challenges with so much grace. I’ve always known since you were meant for greatness and that you would accomplish so much life. My angel, I truly admire your independence, grit, intelligence, reliability, and nurturing spirit.
with all my love,
- your mama
#pac reading#tarotbydelilah444#channeled message#tarotblr#channeled song#channeled messages#pick a card tarot#tarot#motherhood#mother’s day#mother’s love#Spotify
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have so many issues with Kuvira's redemption in Ruins of the Empire but what always felt kinda shitty to me was that it seemed like she came to her 'redemption' kinda.... out of nowhere?
Arguably the point where she "owns up" to her mistakes, is never truly shown to us.
It's shown that she doesn't really have much regret or consideration of the people she's hurt.
What's odd about it is that a good chunk of her victims were right there! Barring Su and Baatar Jr, who one could argue had their stories with Kuvira at least kinda wrapped up. But they weren't exactly the characters I wanted Kuvira to realise she'd wronged.
Opal, Huan, Wei and Wing were betrayed, imprisoned and almost died. Similarly Bolin was manipulated, used, threatened and imprisoned by Kuvira. Asami lost her father. Mako was physically scarred and almost died. Wu was almost kidnapped and forced to fear for his life several times, becoming Kuvira's main target.
Basically the entirety of the cast of the comic are Kuvira's victims to some extent. However, Kuvira is pretty callous and dissmissive of those she'd hurt through most of the comic.
Which I enjoy, it's in character for her and it would be fun to see her realise her mistakes. And she does, it seems.
However it does feel a little jarring how she goes from dismissing and being indignant at every single criticism levelled at her to this:
I also do find it kinda irksome how vague her apology is. It kinda feels like a YouTuber apology lmao. She wasn't "wrong", she was cruel, xenophobic and manipulative, among other things.
And I realise it would be hard to fit a whole ass apology tour into the comics but would it kill ya to give us at least a few scenes of Kuvira realising she done fucked up. It just feels a but unsatisfying to see her go from full on denial to acceptance of her crimes off screen.
And Opal is treated as unreasonable for being petulant towards Kuvira, however she's extremely justified in her anger and pain.
But yeah, Kuvira's story should've been treated much more carefully and given more time to unfold.
#idk if I voiced my thoughts well#kuvira#baatar#baatar jr#huan beifong#opal beifong#wei beifong#wing beifong#bolin#mako#asami sato#suyin beifong#legend of korra#avatar#tlok#the legend of korra#avatar the legend of korra#atlok#lok#king wu#prince wu
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ah yes, The Unstoppable Force (wanting to consume submas content) vs. The mostly Unmovable Object (knowing that no matter how careful i am or what the content itself is, it will destroy my mental health for the week or longer in the state i am in)
#i am ashamed to say i have given in to the little devil on my shoulder called lack of impulse control before 😔#and i have always regretted it. every single time#i will not give in today i will not give in today i will not give in today i will not give in today i will not give in toda#<- i'm fine! for now. just frustrated#personal#submas#<- tell me if you want me to remove the tag :3 im just in a wanting to be heard mood so im putting it out there but its not that important#shoutout to all those who feel or have felt like this. it be hard but we stay silly#i would also like to take this opportunity to apologize to any people i owe writing to#it is for the best. i guarantee you i think about it all the time lmao#(owe writing to as in i told you a little about my aus only to accidentally ghost you when you asked for more 😔)
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you
#cy says stuff#I moved out when I was 17 for a reason#but I do still go back to visit when schools out sometimes and I regret it every single time#every time we talk I’m like damn is it time to call it quits because this is not it#I literally feel like I’m constantly on the brink of being disowned or kicked out of the house when I’m there#but it’s also for things like. bringing a single bottle of wine to a Christmas party that I did not even drink#or like. moving in with my partner of 4 years. because we are going to the 2nd most expensive city in Canada and girl I cannot pay the rent#or being upset when she reads my diary ?? or reads my credit card statements without permission and also just like behind my back??#like do you think I’m not going to find out when you bring up information you only would’ve known if you had read those things#I can put two and two together…#also I’m literally almost done my university degree. i am fully an adult. these should not be issues !#ahhhhh!!!#anyways I will speak to my therapist about this lol#also y’all my friends are always like oh I love my mom and it just seems to be a socially accepted thing that you should love your mom#but what if your mom sucks what then#I genuinely cannot relate to them I’m like literally what does that feel like#the first time I felt loved was when I was 15 lol there is 0 love in my family#anyways !#it’s okay I am out of it and I have been out of it#just#always on the brink of cutting her off forever lol#some ppl just never change as much as you want them to and that is tough to accept.#it is also harder because society is telling my that I need to stay loyal to my family cause they’re blood#but if this were anyone else I would’ve blocked them so long ago 😭
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
What does everyone think of Nigel Forbes-Colbie ever getting pregnant? It doesn't matter how you interpret it: Omegaverse, males can get pregnant Au, Trans! Nigel. Just tell me your guys' headcanons of Nigel's pregnancy: The changes, the hardships, the softness, and the vulnerabilities.
#murderous intent#like minds 2006#like minds#alex forbes#nigel colbie#Alex Forbes X Nigel Colbie#Nigel Colbie x Alex Forbes#If you guys haven't noticed my recent posts I've been feeling way too soft for this fandom#Like#Too soft#And it's both Nigel and Alex's fault for making me too soft when all I want is to cause chaos and do crimes#To be honest I'd like to Imagine Nigel's pregnancy as an arduous one: Swollen feet . Sore back. Weird cravings. Mood swings. Everything.#And he isn't used to seeing himself get swollen with life each and every day. While Alex is so gullible first thing in the morning because#of the baby bump growing every single day. And Nigel getting rounder every week.#Sure. Nigel is enjoying being pampered by Alex with all these services and gifts but sometimes he thinks that he isn't that attractive#Anymore for Alex. And that while he's carrying his children he will leave him like a used toy.#He'd have instances where he'd feel conflicting feelings for their child and think of possibilities of removing her from his body#But he'd soon regret it. He just breaks down into tiny little pieces of ever thinking of their daughter that way. His and ALEX"S#He can never stomach killing her. He can never stomach ruining her beautiful life that he has yet witnessed.#He still has his self-harm tendencies but he avoids it. He avoids harming his angel. His miracle. His life.#He wants to be a good father to his child. He wants to nurture her. Feed her knowledge and love. Cater to her needs and be at her beck#and call: be a father.#Alex knows what's happening to Nigel. They talk. And they talk everyday. He knows how much it can be hard for Nigel during his pregnancy#And he will always be there to protect his spouse and his unborn child.#He will spite their original purpose in order to create their own purpose. Which Nigel had a hard time letting go of.#It was hard. Seeing the history that made them into the people they are today. But it had to#they had to change#change for their family.#For their miracle.#And Nigel seeing Alex being this doting makes him fall for him ten times more
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's them.
Don't let that serious face fool you. Izumo was the one who came up with whatever idea put them there. Kotetsu only made it worse.
I got the background from here but had to edit the heights bc my boys are smol
#izumo kamizuki#kotetsu hagane#koteizu#those two guys from naruto#naruto#see izumo was a good kid. Then Ko came in & corrupted him into childish mischief 24/7 since age 7#now izumo uses his outstanding intelligence for stupid ass pranks that land them in jail at times#don't let that face fool u he regrets N O T H I N G. He's laughing inside. He just doesn't want it to be registered in his record#kotetsu doesn't care#see also how ko's id has no last name? it's not needed. It was stated in the mugshot before his. They're married#'and kotetsu' instead of his name bc every time EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN TIME izumo ends up in jail it's ALWAYS with Kotetsu#btw this is traced. I'm not an artist so I literally just put a layer on the original & traced lmao But I did do the rest &#I'm actually lowkey proud of it even though it looks like bad cgi made in ms paint 2003 LOL#but you have to understand i made it with a free online program with no art knowledge & with A MOUSE w/o mousepad LMAO#also i'm back. I was drowning in the abyss of university & depression. Now it's only depression. But Those Two Guys make it better#for someone that only draws for the memes i spend an awful 3+ hours anxiously palm-sweating before i can click 'post'
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
tomorrow-me's gonna hate tonight-me, part 3522
(an incoherent work-related rant in the tags, read if you will but it's boring lol)
#due to bus schedules i go to work every morning almost two hours before my actual work starts#and i always use this time to plan the day's lessons etc.#(in case someone's somehow missed this i'm a language teacher 👩🏫)#which is convenient but often i underestimate how much time i'm gonna need#and so i end up in a race against time to finish everything before i actually need to be ready (=my classes start)#so far i am yet to go to class without having prepared all the stuff. more or less at least lol#but it really sucks to have this rushed feeling to everything 😩#and so every single fucking day i'm like ''when i get home i'll do this and this so that i can for once be ahead of myself''#but the second i actually get home i'm like ''...nah 🙂''#because goddammit i'm HOME pls don't make me work there 😭#but some stuff i just don't have the time to do at work. such as marking student essays 😟#at least that i COULD do at home if i wasn't so protective of my free time 🤧#but lesson planning? lots of the materials are at the school anyway#so that's sort of my excuse to NOT do any of that at home but. sometimes i know i should 🤡#because tomorrow-me would appreciate it#however tonight-me tends to be a lazy fucker who wants to just imagine blorbo nonsense or stare at a wall doing nothing 😭#i have regrets about this career choice lol don't become a teacher kids istg
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
#bandudhfuwufhrbdjvhsbbgbfndjeybfnzuchdndhdbdbgbsjfyskiwurbrbcjdbfnskayfis8 ch dnbcje I fyebaichfnduwjfnoxuend hai fudbsja#i fucking hate being a system#i hate it here#i dont want to be here anymore let me out#let me out or take me out back and shoot me in the head#blah blah the SAME SHIT I KEEP FUCKING COMPLAINING ABOUT EVRTY SINGLE FUCKING YIME INCOME HERE AND CRY AND SOB AND COMPLAIN I JSUT ALWAYS#FUCKING XOMPLAIN HUH? maybe i should jsut shut thr fuck up forever#i dont even want. to yell about it anymore#i screamed for help last time and no one fucking helped me no one actually fucking listens and im tired#if you dont give a fuck about what im ACTUALLY saying and feeling dont just feel pity for me#im not a kicked dog i m asking for HELP#but okay . thats fine .#ill jsu t go bash my head on a wall.#this is just great too cuz youre gonna see this and assume its you and youre right! its partially you im going fucking insane#and its mean for me to be like this and do this but i cant#i just give up now i literally am . giving up i dont have the energy to try and keep fucking foing yhis#i front once every 2 months to everyones distain and sob uncontrollably for hours and then go to sleep and eventuallly find someone else#to come here and front so i dont have to look myself in the mirror#i dont even know how started this rant anumore jone of this makes sense#if you see this and you know who you are just dont even. mention it i dont want to talk about it#its always the same shit ans the same shit keeps fucking happening and i keep getting worse so whatever .#yeah ur gonna feel bad and pitiful and im gonna feel like a piece of shit even though i do this ervery fucjing time#id off myself atp if that was a fucking option#whatevrr . im not tagging this shit on who it is if u dont know play a guessing game akd if you do then congrats go finger ur ass or smth#I will regret this in the morning but wt v .#stnkkkk if u read this then thank u for sloppy jane req i sobbed quite hard while lsitening to it 10/10 /pos#youd yave to be reading pretty far atp to see this but wtv .
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
~
#will delete later;#i had to lol when one of my old meta posts popped up in my activity feed#it was one on oboro and shouyou/utsuro#i can't remember my thoughts at the time to where i was thinking 'what the heck is all this' while rereading my own meta lol#it's been so long since i indulged in writing meta posts#i don't write or read them anymore for two reasons:#1) i'm not in the mindset anymore to where i used to recall every single detail and could find things again quickly#and 2) long-time gintama fans have Been There Done That with everything including meta#all the 'am i the only one' type of posts -- no you aren't; i guarantee it's been thought of and expressed before#even the same old 'arguments' about how certain gintaladies' characters aren't 'relevant' will pop up in new form#all i intend to do is enjoy gintama for as long as i can#i've paid my dues and made my contributions; i'm more into writing fanfic or supporting/commissioning fanart for gintama these days#i will always love gintama even if the intensity of those feelings has changed since the ending#i don't regret loving this series for 18 years and counting#i'm sure some of my other meta posts are still kicking about or still on private#if i can remember half of what i was thinking when i wrote some of them i'll be glad lol#it's fine for newer fans to continue analyzing; it was fun when we did it too#but i will stay retired
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time#they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool#people really. really cool people
3 notes
·
View notes
Photo
“Forget a footnote or a chapter— I want the whole fucking history book!”
A moodboard for my @infamous-if mc Rorie Rose, she/her, lead singer of electronic/synth rock band rising//sinking.
#i need to make a playlist but the bands vibes are very much in line with infected mushroom's cover of black velvet#no but genuinely infamous is the funnest if demo i've read in a long time & i'm super excited for more#think i'm gonna go for seven's route first ft not realizing you're in love until it's too late#or maybe g... or august... idk yet actually i love every single ro so far *sobs*#misc facts abt rorie: Knows she's one of the best singers around you can't tell her otherwise.#says shit like 'oh come on i was /born/ to be a rock star it's basically written on my birth certificate'#but is actually really nice & polite lmao she's just very self assured#def told seven they'd be bigger than the beatles & was only half kidding#the r & s in the band name is the name is absolutely a reference to rorie & seven & she voted to keep it a duet#always ends up taking her shoes off on stage b/c she always wears heels & regrets it afterward b/c she's a jump all over the stage singer#loves to be a pest to orion but really respects him & his opinion deep down#low-key a flirt but doesn't really realize it + is very physically affectionate. Will sit on nearly anybody's lap if no chair is available#(she doesn't sit in chairs properly anyway lol. always wants to be on the counter or something)#(*kitty foreman voice* she likes to feel tall)#toes the fashion line between bohemian & whimsigoth- if it's got a skirt & looks like something a 70s era groupie would have worn? she's in#has multiple ear piercings mirrored nostrils a septum & a vertical labret. silver girlie.#idk just random little bits! slowly fleshing her out & obvi more will come as the story progresses ^^#if: infamous
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want to write up a little open journal entry about yesterday, and well. Life, lately.
Content Warning for the death of a pet. mentions of abuse. mentions of my abuser.
Today was the day of my childhood pet's vet appointment. BK had been off her thyroid medication since late January / early February this year. I didn't realize how long that was, my dad had been trying and failing to save up for her healthcare. Yesterday, she was panting, didn't want to be touched, on top of other health issues we noticed this/last week, and we knew she was dying. One day off of her appointment, after we finally had managed to save up. When we set the appointment it was a 17 day long wait, and I knew she wouldn't make it. She was put to rest yesterday, I asked my dad to take her to vet to be put to sleep. I've watched too many animals die slowly in this house because we couldn't take care of them. We had saved up just enough for her euthanasia.
The night of the 25th I thought she was already dying, so I pet her and laid my head on her body like one last goodbye but she woke up. I tried to sleep but I had to check on her one more time before I could and when I looked where she usually was, she was still staring at my bedroom door.
When I woke up she was already in a bad state.
I got one last goodbye and goodmorning from her.
she was a really cute cat, I had her since I was 4 or 5. She died at 17 or 16 years old and she was so so so happy and sweet and cute for every single one of those years.
I couldn't go to the vet's with my dad. I had just woken up and I despise crying infront of other people. I don't like it. (I don't like it because I don't look how I should. no other reason. people see a "short little girl" and I hate it.)
We tried to work a bit yesterday, the day she left. But our car's engine light came on, and that was just too much to deal with.
I have no reason to stay in this house anymore. Neither does my dad. Today, 27th of April, 2023, we're going to seriously start moving. Selling things we don't want, packing up what we do want.
We spent this whole year so far trying to just save up enough to move smoothly but honestly? I think it will feel smooth even if we have to buy a car that's definitely a one-way ticket. Even if it's the worst used-lemon of a car we've ever driven before, we'll be somewhere that's finally our's.
This house was the very last bargaining chip our abuser used against us. I cannot emphasize enough that everything was rigged against us from the very start. The mortgage company won't talk to my dad. When our abuser was alive they didn't talk to my dad either- none of the companies did. My dad wasn't the sole owner so he never got to apply for any of the housing aid he wanted to. and then desantis. who doesn't exactly "like" poor people. like us. or anyone remotely like us at all, actually.
If we can just get to somewhere new- be it a mobile home, two apartments, a house in a state like this one, it will STILL be an upgrade. Because the system, including our own personal abuser, never let this be our house. This is just "where we're stuck living," and it's been that my entire life.
my dad wanted so badly to fix this house up and love it but everyday it gets a bit harder to stay here. Everyday a new issue crops up that makes us ask, "why are we still trying to live here?"
even if we did like the house, we're still in a state that get's too hot for us to live comfortably, we're still in a state that wants us dead. we're still cut off from care we need and in a state where everything is too expensive for us.
So it's time to say goodbye and move. I'm only 21 and I don't want to watch my dad die in this house- he's in good health. And we want it to stay that way. We're hoping Maine has clinics that we can afford care from easier. DoorDash usually gets us 20$ an hour, so if we can get a car that can keep driving or maybe fix our current one, we'll be right back on our feet. My dad was looking into DoorDash's e-bike program, he really loves working for DoorDash.
My personal dream is an apartment all to myself that's just the right size for my cat and I, that I can make money off of vocal work & art from. I want to work from home so that I'm never forced outside when I don't want to be or can't handle it. I want to work from home because all my friends right now are online. I want a nice apartment within walking distance of nice places.
I want true freedom for myself and my dad. and I think, we'll get that.
no matter what.
#death of a pet#animal death#and thank you to every single one of you who boosted the donation post or donated to us#you have no idea how much that means to me#i spent 20 years convinced id never be more than a footnote in other people's lives#convinced i was the single exception to human kindess#all because of the poison my abuser fed into my mind#but no#the child i kept alive in my heart was right this entire time#that little kid who feared nothing and no one#always knew he was fucking lying to us#so thank you. for caring. for proving my demons wrong. and for proving that prick wrong.#I knew other people were not as heartless as him.#The one thing I will never regret is keeping hope alive in my heart all these years through any means necessary.#rottingjournals#rotthoughts
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
heartarcv
ladies and gentlemen~☆✧*:・ﾟ
mara-xx217
Just A Goober
whoisalta
butterfly effect
profxisajerk
Professor Charles Xavier