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Thank you for doing a matchup trade with me <3 here's my matchup!

FANDOM: I would like a ADULT MALE MATCHUP for hazbin hotel, please. I don't wanna be matched with angel dust or husk (I have no problem but I don't see myself being romantic partners with them)

ABOUT ME: My name is Jaxrel! People call me "Jax" for short. also use other names like Himawari, Rin, etc, He/Him (They/Them is acceptable), I'm a Trans Man who's pansexual and I've been diagnosed with mental illness and disorders that I do not wish sharing ATM.

Personality(+ Notes): I'm a ENTP Ravenclaw, 5w4, Extroverted. I'm a very chill and intelligent person, I'm very polite and sweet! at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses "big" words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(l'm nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes don't mean to), dad/ tharapist friend, when | go out | bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapsticks) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some "repressed anger issues, get a reallyyy overractive Brain, tend to get deep and philosophical when I'm left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked. If this helps more the characters I kin a lot are: Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice), Tei (Nameless), Cutthroat (Akudama Drive, Except the Bloodlust cutthroat has.), Ranpo Edogawa (Bungo Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungo Stray Dogs), Space Ishtar (Fate), Okita Souji (Fate), Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 The Infinity), Sherlock Holmes (TGAA), Zack (Final Fantasy 7), Vash The Stampede (Trigun), Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist), Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom), Vanitas (Study Case of Vanitas), Zoe Hange (AOT), Shinoa Hiragi (Seraph of The End) + more

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i love kids even though if they can be annoying i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, I love psychical affection a lot so it's not a problem for me, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love someone, they'll be seen.

MORE KINS: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld). eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars), miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more LOL.

Looks: Half Polish and Vietnamese and Half Middle Eastern(Iraqi)/Filipino, I'm very skinny like just flat, I have hazel eyes and some slight flecks of amber and blue, I have upturned eyes but they seem like they are almond shaped but they aren't too noticeable, I think I have a heart shaped face but from different angles it looks more diamond shaped(?), I'm approximately 5'8, 1 have a dimple only on my chin, I have dyed black hair, I also have bangs too, my clothing style tends to stretch widely from comfy to... a lot like this! I wear gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, gyaruo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), scenemo/emo (ofc), & vkei ouji and lolita, I can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as, jirai kei, decora and more so on, I’ve also been told I look like choso (JJK) and dazai osamu (BSD).

hobbies: gaming, anthropology, pathology, theology, zoology, music, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG's, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/ basketball and swimming, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it, I can play 5 instruments which is the piano, cello, koto and bass/electric guitar, I know 6 languages (look in my bio hehe) and I'm learning more right now (which is hindi, vietnamese and taglong if your interested).

Likes: Chocolate, Strawberries, Iced Coffee and Boba Tea, Anime/ Manga, Music, Food, Winning in arguments online or irl, Reading, Cats, Sharks, Animals in general, Cold/or Rainy Weather, Shopping, Abstract or Romance movies, Kdrama(pretty much any asian dramas), Spicy or Sweet Food, Ramen.

Dislikes: Loud Noises, Slow Walkers, People who don't know when to close their mouths when chewing and hot weather.

Love Languages: all of them, LOL. (giving). gift giving, words of affirmation & physical touch (receiving).

Thank you so much! Have a good day!

IM SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGGGG

But based on the information you’ve given me, I match you up with…

🐤❤️Lucifer ❤️🐤

I KNOW YOU SAID YOU LIKED HIM BUT I HAD HIM IN MIND BEFORE YOU SAID THAT, LET ME EXPLAIN

- First of all, would go shopping with you if you ever asked if he wanted to, might be a bit skidding since it’s you know, OUTSIDE, but if it’s for you he’ll do it

- Doesn’t care what you’re wearing, he thinks you look amazing regardless and will heavily praise you

- PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E Spoon him, especially since you’re taller, he will literally melt in your arms, whisper sweet nothings into his ear before bed while you do and he’ll start crying from feeling so loved

- Honestly pick him up and he won’t even question it, he’ll just be like “oh ok”

- Will definitely show off his wings to compensate for the height though

- He has given you a duck of every kin you listed, and overall just for everything you like or represents something you like, all presents, he just came up to you blushing, like a penguin with a rock, one day and was like “here” and he hasn’t stopped since, and probably never will

- I feel like speaking of presents, that’s a good transition into love languages. This man will gladly accept all of them and definitely needs it. As everyone can tell he needs words of affirmation and physical touch he is touch starved, so like previously said, hold him and tell him he’s the best and he’ll melt. And gifts? If you’re from you they’re the best thing in the world, even if it’s something like a cracker with a flag on it he’ll call it cute and share it with you. Will spend all his time with you, being the shut in he is, and is beyond grateful for you helping around the palace, it helps take away the thought of some of his responsibilities so he can just rest and spend time with you

- As for YOU he will definitely return the favor, always telling you you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, that you’re his entire life, all while constantly cuddling you and peppering kisses all over your face, and giving you the most extravagant things He’ll has to offer, but if that’s too much for you? Don’t worry, how’s a chocolate scented cat shark plushie sound? Or how about that new manga volume you told him about that you wanted?

(Something like this visually for the plushie)

- I feel like he doesn’t like loud noises either (unless HES the loud noise, which might cause problems between you two), so he’s got noise canceling headphones at the ready to summon at a moment’s notice

- Movie/show date nights watching any anime, kdrama, or hopelessly romantic movie you want

- Will make your tea for you (and will spill it in regards to the hotel of course)

- Info dump to him and he will gladly listen, engraining every single detail to memory, asks questions and shows genuine interest as well

- With you both being mischievous and playful, and you having a contagious laugh, I can see many laughing fits over the silliest of things

- If you spoil him with gifts his heart will flutter, it’s usually the other way around

- Not at all afraid to show you off either, all the PDA in the world. Want to hold his hand? (I’ll take that hand now-) He has four now so he can do that AND hug you, no one has a doubt in their minds that you’re together, he will proclaim his love to you with a 99 power point slide on the News with no hesitation

- Will honest on his fathers name kill anyone who makes you feel like shit or like you have to hide your wonderful personality. That double Hell comment Angel made in the pilot? Yeah, that’s what’s gonna happen if ANYONE messes with you

And… I think that’s it? Lmk if you want more though! I’m not sure if this was long enough ;-; but I hope you enjoyed it! This was actually pretty fun to do!

Thank you for doing a matchup trade with me <3 here's my matchup!

FANDOM: I would like a ADULT MALE MATCHUP for hazbin hotel, genshin impact and black butler please! I don't wanna be matched with angel dust or husk I have no problem but I don't see myself being romantic partners with them)

ABOUT ME: My name is Jaxrel! People call me "Jax" for short. also use other names like Himawari, Rin, etc, He/Him (They/Them is acceptable), I'm a Trans Man who's pansexual and I've been diagnosed with mental illness and disorders that I do not wish sharing ATM.

Personality(+ Notes): I'm a ENTP Ravenclaw, 5w4, Extroverted. I'm a very chill and intelligent person, I'm very polite and sweet! at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses "big" words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(l'm nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes don't mean to), dad/ tharapist friend, when | go out | bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapsticks) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some "repressed anger issues, get a reallyyy overractive Brain, tend to get deep and philosophical when I'm left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked. If this helps more the characters I kin a lot are: Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice), Tei (Nameless), Cutthroat (Akudama Drive, Except the Bloodlust cutthroat has.), Ranpo Edogawa (Bungo Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungo Stray Dogs), Space Ishtar (Fate), Okita Souji (Fate), Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 The Infinity), Sherlock Holmes (TGAA), Zack (Final Fantasy 7), Vash The Stampede (Trigun), Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist), Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom), Vanitas (Study Case of Vanitas), Zoe Hange (AOT), Shinoa Hiragi (Seraph of The End) + more

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i love kids btw i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, I love psychical affection a lot so it's not a problem for me, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love someone, they'll be seen.

MORE KINS: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld). eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars), miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), rei ayanami (neon genesis evangelion), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more :)

Looks: Half Polish and Vietnamese and Half Middle Eastern(Iraqi)/Filipino, I'm very skinny like I look mostly flat, I have hazel eyes and some slight flecks of amber and blue, I have upturned eyes but they seem like they are almond shaped but they aren't too noticeable, I think I have a heart shaped face but from different angles it looks more diamond shaped(?), I'm approximately 5'8, I have a dimple only on my chin, I have dyed black hair, I also have bangs too, my clothing style tends to stretch widely from comfy to... a lot like this! I wear gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, gyaruo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), scenemo/emo (ofc), & vkei ouji and lolita, I can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as, jirai kei, decora and more so on.

hobbies: gaming, anthropology, pathology, theology, zoology, music, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG's, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/ basketball and swimming, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it, I can play 5 instruments which is the piano, cello, koto and bass/electric guitar, I know 6 languages and I'm learning more right now.

Likes: Chocolate, Strawberries, Iced Coffee and Boba Tea, Anime/ Manga, Music, Food, Winning in arguments online or irl, Reading, Cats, Sharks, Animals in general, Cold/or Rainy Weather, Shopping, Playing Tabletop RPG's, Abstract or Romance movies, Kdrama(pretty much any asian dramas), Spicy or Sweet Food, Ramen.

Dislikes: Loud Noises, Slow Walkers, People who don't know when to close their mouths when chewing and hot weather.

Love Languages: physical touch, acts of service & words of affirmation(pretty much everything LOL) (giving). gift giving, words of affirmation & physical touch (receiving)

Thank you so much! Have a good day!

HEY HUN!!! IM SO GLAD WE ARE DOING IT!!

Im so happy someone asked for black butler finally!!

I’ve decided to pair you with……. GRELLE, AJAX & LUCIFER!

She would LOVE that you are extroverted.

She finally has someone to talk to who isn’t boring !!

She also loves that you are independent! It’s what attracted her to you!

It also allows her to be able to do her job without having to worry too much for you- but DONT get me wrong. She LOVES to take care of you.

She loves to listen to you, all day every day. Talk about your day to her. My girl always has an ear out. Honestly she probably has a sixth sense when it comes to you.

She definitely is nosy asf. She wants to get in EVERYONES BUSINESS !! You guys could probably spend a week on gossiping about the same person.

She honestly also has her own problems- and DEFINITELY forgets shit to bring or do. She will rely on you 24/7. She needs someone to rant to sometimes- being a grim reaper is so harrrd!

She definitely does not mind the anger issues. Sebastian was mean enough- if anything she definitely would like it if you yelled at her!!

She probably would laugh a little bit if you started to get philosophical with her- but thats also because she literally will have no clue on whats happening. - she’d beg you to explain it to her too.

If you have an ugly laugh- she does too. You both would be CACKLING 24/7.

She loves that you care for other people- and animals too! It would warm her heart so much. Although she’d be jealous!! She wants most of your attention.

She’d buy you anything or do anything to see you happy. She loves whenever you get happy!! She’d totally buy you shit like chocolate covered pretzels and watch you eat them with a HUGE grin on her face.

Not gonna lie though. She HATES kids. But she’ll try for you 🩷

She genuinely loves that you take care of other people- and kiss your plushies?? Thats so CUTE- HER NEXT???!!

If you told her you loved her? You would hear it maybe like 1600x times a day. She’s def super clingy.

If you went out of your way to try and make her happy- she would literally want to take a BITE put of you. How came she resist?? You are just too sweet :)

She will always be there next to you in the mornings, when you have a tough time getting up. She’s been there on her hard days. She doesn’t want the same thing to happen to you.

With all those hobbies?? She’d definitely make you help her learn stuff. Piano? Teach her !!! Guitar? Oh my god ?!! LANGUAGES?? Speak to her and even if you called her a donkey she’d be all over you.

She’d love to hear about your special interests or more about your hobbies. Like ?? Teach me to skateboard?!!!

She’d cosplay with you. She’d love to do it!!

She LOVES your sense of style. Its so different compared to what she’d normally see? Like pick me? Choose me ? Love me?

Whenever you choose a new style- she’s always in the back supporting you. She loves to show off to other people too. Like- thats MY man.

She literally loves any love language. SHE IS INLOVE WITH HER S/O AND WOULD DO ANYTHINNGGG FOR THEM!!

She definitely would want to bake with you tho. She cant bake for shit, but she tries.

She also will definitely LOVE your art. She needs pictures and photographs constantly. She’d probably hang them on the fridge or put them in her pockets to look at whenever shes working.

Now to Tartie

My man….

Ajax was definitely drawn in at first by your sense of style. He would’ve been staring from across the street with a smirk on his face.

Until he see’s you again. He HAS to say something this time!

He definitely wants to listen to you talk !

You love kids?? God he already loves you? He has so many siblings! And honestly he probably wants a big ass family.

He started to become drawn in by your personality. He needs someone who can be independent while he’s constantly working with the fatui.

Let’s be honest. This man is a GOSSIP. He finna chat chat chat with you all day every day. He mever shuts up.

He loves to hear you laugh. It brings him so much joy Everytime.

Although he feels safe constantly- he knows he can trust his siblings around you,

He definitely would be more reserved when it comes to himself, he’d love that you are the dad friend.

He’s totally gonna forget shit to do- and he can’t always take care of his siblings!

He loves that you have a big heart. Not many people do anymore- it caused him to truly become attached.

He’s so happy that you aren’t ashamed to like what you like- neither is he! Be proud!!

He loves physical affection too- but unfortunately is never really around much for it. He’d always give you tons of kisses on the forehead in the morning before he leaves though.

He’d also try to make ip to you with a bitch ton of presents and gifts for you. Like “ I’m so sorry sweetheart- but i hope this puts a smile on your face :)”

But if he stays at home? He’s gonna want to rot in bed with you and cuddle!

Honestly. He’d probably also have a shit ton of plushies too. But he’d get jealous if you gave them all kisses and not him!!

He isn’t really emotional- but he’ll definitely try to comfort you! I think at first he’d suck- but he has so many siblings he knows what to do!!

Your hobbies?? Always keeps him doing something with you! Like talk to me in a different language?

He’d LOVE to challenge you to sports!! Although he’ll definitely become a tadd bitt too competitive . He just gets lost in it!

He definitely makes you do some pottery with him, and drinks or eats out of the stuff you guys make together.

Probably will fall off a skateboard 16 different times.

He LOVES watching movies with you. I think he’d genuinely enjoy K dramas. This man is DRAMATIC.

He would buy you so many things to make up for lost time together :((

Luci’s Turn!

I mean come on… how could I not.

He was drawn into everything about you. Your style- your heart??

He saw the way you treated Charlie and he was like “that’s mine now.”

He would LOVE to listen to you talk while he’s making some ducks!!

I think you’d both have some rotting in bed moments though!!

Let’s be honest. He needs someone to take care of him. He won’t do it by himself. He’s too scared to even call his daughter.

He will definitely confide in you about EVERYTHING. He has nobody else that he trusts. (Other than charlie but….)

He loves to hear about anything! Gossip to him.. even though hes an old man he’d be like “she did WHATTTT?? NO WAYYY”

I think Lucifer would be pretty hard to get mad at honestly.

He also loves to hear your philosophy stuff! He’s always asking what you think about, and why. He want’s to hear the thought process behind it.

He LOVES that you are also so sweet to Charlie. It makes his heart swell.

Honestly he’s huge on physical touch. If he could he’d always have you touching him in some way. Whether it be cuddling in bed with your 1000 plushies, or having you sit on his laps while he makes a duck that looks like you!!

He LOVES your style. It makes him feel like he has something new to look forward to everyday. He also likes to guess which you’ll wear!

Personally i think Lucifer probably knows every language known to man- but he’d want you to talk to him in a different language! He’d definitely flirt with you!

Play music for this old man please!! He’d love to hear you strum the guitar while he’s doing something!

Or art!! He’d make paintings with you- although he sucks. He’d hang up pictures or drawings that you took, and frame them.

He loves that you aren’t afraid to do what you want! Or speak what you want! It allows him to feel free.

He thinks puppetry is SO COOL. Like honestly- teach me NOW. He’d probably get the strings knotted though.

He’d love to listen about your love for animals- he’d probably buy you one too. As long as it makes you happy.

He’d do anything to see a smile on your face. Buy chocolates, red bull, more plushies, strawberries? He is already on it.

Also wants you to kiss him to sleep.

He doesn’t go anywhere ever- so he’ll always be for you during your low times. He’ll help you through everything.

He’s super clingy too. He’d want you to give him quality time!

He’d beg you to watch movies or shows with you. He’d also get ADDICTED to them. Probably starts SOBBING during K-Dramas.

~~

HI LOVE!! I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY FOR YOU!! I ENJOYED THIS SO MUCH ! 🩷🩷

- 🌷🌷🌷 -

DNI

❌Do not mix my content with reality. If you cannot tell between fiction and reality then I ask of you to simply not interact at all

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To Note

❗I would like to make my blog a safe space for everyone, please dont be shy to share your little rambles, dark or wholesome I'm willing to read it!

❗ I wont be writing/drawing anything NSFW (smut) bc im a minor, so it makes me feel a little iffy knowing that. Though I am fine with making dirty/sexual jokes for the fun of it. At most it'll only either be heavily/lightly suggestive or/and implied if I ever were to write/draw anything in that area or were to include it. (I have my thirst moments too after all)

❗I really like horror, so dont be surprised if I expand to gore or the general field of horror. Sometimes i like to focus on the horror aspect more, so [said character] may or may not be an automatic yandere for that purpose

❗ I love yanderes!!! I think they are personally fun to write about and think about. But of course I love characters who aren't in the yandere themes as well (such as Miyamura or Genya)^^

❗My Blog is Multifandom. Dont expect me to only post content for only one fandom. Though asks are open and free for you to ramble!

❗ I'm a little shy in all honesty but please dont be shy to say hi<3 I'll start warming up to you if we interact often and i'm pretty friendly!

❗If you want to be mutuals please actually interact with me first before asking.

❗I am alright with being tagged in posts<3

❗ I am open to suggestions, chit chat, or your little rambles! It might help me wrack up another idea to write or draw about ^^

❗Please depict the characters as 18+ please because I usually like to write in settings where you'd be of age to attend or do such things (such as working in a specific profession or going to raves) unless stated or interpreted as otherwise.

❗I do not condone any toxic or your typical yandere traits in real life, along with a lot of immoral and dark themes. I know what im doing, I simply enjoy these themes in fiction. Do not base me as a bad person in real life because of that

❗I wish to Indulge in you to put it quite simply<3

Request Rules

✔️ As long as you can provide me a scenario/situation/idea/plot of a character I can make do with it!

✔️ Preferably limit to 5 people when asking at most!

✔️I have the right to refuse a request if I seem uncomfy/iffy/or unfamiliar with what's being requested

✔️ It would be great if you were to be specific with what you would like to request, in that way I can fit it to what you desire! I'm willing to indulge in you <3 Though its fine if you were to make it broad or general

✔️Although being neurodivergent myself I would like to ask you not to be too heavy on such specific topics when requesting.

✔️ Theres no specific way to give an ask, so just go for whatevers on your mind! <3

With that, I think I added all that I could think of. So please do enjoy your stay, that is if you decide to🌷

~Sincerly, Jay/Jello

Due to be edited anytime if needed

self intro

This day i saw post talking about being gay and lonely is something that quite common especially when you are pushing 30 or more than that. your social circumstances changes a lot since it shown that you are disconnected much with your own community, while most of heteros start to having family.

They started introduce themself. talking about what what they do for living, what they like, whats their expectation on queer friends that they want to made. it is super cool considering they raised on different backgrounds and lore. they told what happened in their life at some post, and the other seemed to respond which one meet their match or just sending some pep talks.

thats make me think, like what i am gonna describe myself on tweets. they talk about their linking to go outside, start something new, embark on journey, and so on. they talk about their favorite activity like hitting the gym, drawing, running, or any physical activities.

i dont know, i hate to told you this but actually i just like on my own. like my presence in this 2x3 meters room that actually quite little but it fits for me. it is an oasis for me to daydream, sing, dance, or just round around.

it built with window so i could see sky change its colour based on its mood. i could see birds flying or just cloud chilling. even the moon also which i do like.

i have little air conditionier which made my room quite chilly so i have a reason on a blanket or at least curling up on my bed. it is comfy feelings that i dont likely to share with other, even the people i hooked up with.

i love it cuz at some point i have my own monologue talking about what happened in my life whether thats bad or good, nor just projection on hypotethical events.

in this space i felt safe from the world. i dont have to pretend or tolerate, i am full control and fully aware of whats happened.

loneliness was my enemy like i guess, 2-3 years ago. i dont like left alone i would definitely bombard my friends online that they left me behind. but it just maybe about my expectation that they would hang with me meanwhile people grow also. they have life, so maybe im the one who dont have much and cravings for others. i dont rely much on hookups cuz the people just, meh.

now on, i dont see being alone as a problem. it made me a space where i could reflect , project, or even elect anything that i want to do. it is a space for my own imagination. something that i love to do in good times.

i pretty admitting that i dont like meeting people much. theyre much boring or somehow annoying at particular point. i cant talk freely about silly things like bugs, internet, colours, or even just my ac being less chilly overtime ( i guess the freon slowly empty i need to contact my landlord )

i could discuss with myself about anything, i dont have to talk something political or such or i dont have to listen to other people story that somehow BORE ME TO DEATH ( istg it just run around story like idk whats on their mind it just lame ass story did you never reincarnate or something so you have better understanding about world ?)

i am slightly, i guess super delusional which that helps me cope with everything happen. and this space is just super comfy i could start hallucinate anytime. i could watching some tiktok edit and thinking i am Fern the magician ( i saw frieren anime its super good )

One thing couldnt understand is why people r just being " oh my god im so lonely". like it is actually concept that exist even before your grandpa born like its common things. you cant reject it cuz when its time you just being alone and thats it. you dont have to deal with annoying people, you dont have to hear them chitchat or you dont have to spare your energy talking with them. like i dont know how you people holding yourself talking to creature thats most likely to annoy you ? id be dead by second.

i love my friends tho. like i MISS THEM. i guess theyre one that im okay to be with in this scantuary ( gosh i said it like i wasnt the messiest place ever with no good things inside. thats not including how little the space )

i had a lot of writings guess im gonna do several parts of that

I have nothing to motivate me. I dont sepnd enough time out in nature feeling whimsical. Everything in life feels so dull. I feel so much more motivated to care for myself when im able to take the time to be outside in natural environments. I have no irl friends to hang out with right now. Im trying to make friends with my bfs friends because i know that i can talk to them about shared interests like dnd and warhammer40k and one of his friends hosts a radio show for the college. So i know i dont have to try super hard to find topics to talk about. Thats the hardest part of making new friends for me is an adult... i have to find out what their interest are and if we're even compatible. And i just dont really have the energy for that right now. The only other option i have for making friends is the college club i joined for gender and sexuality. I love having a safe space to do activities with my fellow queers but i dont necessarily want to make friends with them especially since im hyperfixating on dnd and warhammer rn and i dont think many of them are into that sort of thing... i thought about maybe going and joining the DJ friend tonight while he hosts the radio show as he said im welcome to join him anytime.. it just feel weird because i just saw him yesterday for dnd and i dont want to seem too eager to hang out. I just dont know how to properly socialize as an adult and its not like im im college taking classes where i see these people everyday. The most social interaction i get is the dnd sessions we have once a week. I just feel weird wanting to hang out with my bfs friends more than he hangs out with them but its because he's busy with schoolwork and im not. Maybe i feel insecure about not having anything to do during my free time, but right now i really want to spend my free time building a good support system and gaining trust worthy friends. Ive had my trust severely broken by so called "friends" over the past few years. I dont know if im trying to convince myself that im worthy of having friends or if i just rely too heavily on the people around me. But im not even sure if thats a bad thing to want? Like so many people these days think its not okay to rely on the people around you but to me thats what makes a society? Ive felt abandoned by those around me so much that ive begun to abandon myself. I cant get myself to do anything anymore i have to have breakfast brought to me or i wont eat i have to have help getting lunch or dinner or i wont eat that either most days. I cant get myself to clean up after myself anymore because i just dont have the energy for it. Sure I'll have coffee or tea to wake me up but i have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I want things clean and organized but i cant be bothered to do it myself. And the main thing that helps me regulate that and be able to help myself is honestly being able to socialize and go outside and interact with things outside of myself. And im just not getting enough of that. I feel like a goldfish who's been left in a tank with nothing but a skull to hide in. At this point im just waiting for somwthing to trigger me into fight or flight so that i get up and do something about my situation. It hurts.

A will they, won’t they relationship with Seth Brundle would include~

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous/Hope this is what you wanted!)

(I chose to do this outside of the plot but I wouldn’t be opposed to doing something similar during the plot <3)

- Seth was never an incredibly social person but seemingly out of nowhere, it became abundantly clear that he needed somebody in his life. An assistant; he’d reasoned with himself, somebody who could help him with his work while also ensuring he didn’t go insane staying cooped up inside his house all day. That was where you came into the picture. 

- You’d been working as an engineer/machinist when you first met him. Over the years, it became a habit of his to go to one specific company for his very important machinery and odd parts. You were a new hire of theirs, one he became anonymously and particularly fond of after seeing the level of care you put into your work. 

- It was during one of his routine pick ups that the two of you finally met face to face. It didn’t take him long to decide that you were the perfect person to employ; young, intelligent, precise, …pretty. After learning that you had a background in biology, he considered it a match made in heaven. 

- He asked if you’d like to see what he’d been building, planning to propose a partnership once he’d successfully amazed you with his invention. Since your shift was almost finished; and you were a tad bit curious, you took the bait and agreed to go with him. The rest is history.

- Seths never really had anyone to talk to about his work so it’s really a breath of fresh air when you come into his life. He can finally have a conversation with someone who’s on the same level as him and understands what he’s saying.

- The two of you can have deep, hour(s) long conversations with each other and not even realize it. Sometimes you’ll figure that you’ve only been talking for maybe an hour tops, then check the clock and find out you’ve actually been talking for three hours. Guess time ...flies when you’re having fun.

- Touching and staying close to each other’s sides any chance you get. You normally have to work in pretty close proximity so it isn’t all that hard to find an excuse.

- The two of you get to know each other very well, I mean, that’ll happen when you spend nearly all day and night with a person for days on end. But regardless, he can recite all your favorite things and uses it to his advantage.

- Sometimes, he’ll just surprise you with a treat or gift, usually something like buying you your favorite hot drink or dessert. He likes being able to make you smile and absolutely adores when you return the favor.

- Late night take out dinners after a long day of hard work. Some of your best memories have taken place on the floor of his apartment, cheap food container in hand and a smile on your face.

- Crashing at his place when you wind up working late into the night. Waking up and seeing you asleep on his couch/bed never fails to make his heart flutter and bring a smile to his face.

- Teasing and treating each other like you’re an old married couple. Every now and again you’ll bicker with each other and he swears you both sound just like his grandparents.

- The two of you have definitely been mistaken for a couple more than a few times. It never fails to make his heart race whenever someone says you look good together or calls you his girlfriend. He always tries to subtly look over at you to see your reaction, hoping that you don’t look bothered by the idea.

- He started calling you darling and honey jokingly; both because of your tendency to get mistaken for a couple and just to be a smartass, but then he just never stopped. It’s become a habit of his and one that he isn’t going to be able to break anytime soon, no matter how hard he tries.

- The amount of times he’s made you flustered with his compliments/praise; specifically after you spark an idea in him or make him realize something, is embarrasing. Oftentimes, he’ll kiss your cheek/forehead, laughing like he’s just gotten an adrenaline rush and calling you a genius.

- He’s definitely exclaimed that he loves you in these moments but you just think it’s strictly platonic, like how someone will say “god, I could just kiss you” when they’re overjoyed. If only you knew the truth.

- Whenever he gets something right/finally figures out what’s happening, he turns into an adorable fool. He giddily takes you by the arms and demands that the two of you celebrate, already moving towards the liquor cabinet as you try to calm your beating heart.

- Everytime you tell him that you believe in him or think he’s a good scientist, he has to stop himself from smashing his lips to yours.

- Theres a few times where he almost kisses you for real and you’re nearly sure he will. Once when you were both huddled around his computer, your faces inches apart (a fact you realize when you finally look at each other for the first time). He glances down at your lips and begins to lean in but stops himself, apologizing and stepping back with a shy smile.

- The second time is when you fix a major bug in his system, making everything work just the way it should. He’s grinning ear to ear as he calls you brilliant and a million other names, all but running over to where you stand. He hesitates for a moment; contemplating just doing what he’s dreamed of doing for so long, before he finally just pulls you into a tight hug. You never thought a hug would make you so dissapointed.

- Then there’s the times where he’s almost told you how he felt. There was definitely a few but one stands out to you even to this day. The two of you had been working together for a few months and he’d finally decided that he could completely trust you. He brought up the idea of adding your voice to his machine and couldn’t help but smile at how excited you got.

- You spent the next hour or so programming your voice into the system and once you were finished he very nearly told you that he loved you. Right at the last minute, he decided that he just couldn’t do it and instead told you that he was glad that the two of you met.

- He’s finally forced to confess his feelings to you about a year or so after you become partners. While you can’t deny that you love him, you also can’t wait around for forever so you agreed to go out on a date with an acquaintance of yours.

- When you tell Seth, he seems bothered by the idea but he plays it off like he just wanted your help in the lab. He very nearly says accepts when you offer to reschedule your date but ultimately decides that it’s not fair and tells you to have fun, giving you a forced smile as you promise to stop by afterwards in case he needs any help.

- When you return to his house later in the night, he asks you how it went, taking the time to tell you how nice you look all dressed up. You shyly admit that you weren’t really planning on seeing the man again which makes him visibly happier. It’s then that he finally tells you what you’ve been waiting to hear for so long.

“Y/n,” he starts abruptedly, turning around to face you “Theres something I’ve been meaning to tell you, something that I can’t hold back any longer. Y/n ... I am completely in love with you and have been since the moment I saw you.”

“Now if you dont like me back thats fine but I couldnt live with myself if I didnt at least try to tell you how I felt. It finally hit me that I could lose my chance forever if I don’t say anything and thats not a risk I’m willing to take. I never want to feel how I felt tonight ever again in my entire life. So ...what do you say?” He asked, his voice slowing to a nervous stop.

- It felt like a dream when you returned his affections. He’s so excited to be in a relationship, especially with you of all people. He’s surprised that you want to be with him but god is he glad.

- The two of you share your first kiss right then and there, slowly moving toward each other until you’re nearly chest to chest. You’re still gazing into each other’s eyes as his arms encircle your waist. You only close them once his lips press against yours, stealing your breath away.

- It’s safe to say that you spend all night wrapped up in each other’s arms, making up for lost time.

Ocean Eyes - Part 5

To say i didn't get much sleep last night was an understatement! I had spent a couple hours on the phone to my mom telling her about Chris showing up and now knowing about Mason while having a couple glasses of wine. When i finally did go to bed i couldn't switch my brain off,  the last time i had looked at the time it was nearly 4:30am and i knew Mason would be getting up around 6! It felt like i had just closed my eyes when that darling boy of mine came jumping on the bed to wake me up.

After breakfast we both got ready and headed out to the car, i needed to go to the store to get some groceries (if i had guests coming round i should really have something to offer them).

"Oh nooo.... mom creepy Brian is coming out" Mason said quietly.

"Sshhh i told you not to call him that" i chuckled as we rushed to get into the car before Brian could reach us.

"Thats what you and aunt Hannah call him though" he rolled his eyes like i was crazy as i reversed out of the drive.

"Only when we're inside where he can't hear us. You can't say that while his around baby"

"Fine, i wont say it again" he shrugged "is my dad coming back today?"

"He said he was gonna come see you today"

"I like him, he seems cool"

I didn't know what to say to that so i just kept my eyes on the road.

"Mom, dont you like my dad?...."

"Sure i do bud, i just haven't seen your dad in a long time"

"But he makes you sad"

"Im fine Mace, don't you worry" i forced a smiled trying to put on a brave face for him.

Walking around the store i found myself picking up things i knew Chris and Scott liked.... or at least what they used to like.

I was loading the bags into the car when i got a text message.

Chris: Hey, just checking its still okay if we come over today?

Y/N: Sure

Chris: Thats good because we're at the house but your not home....

Y/N: Im at the store, be back in 5 minutes

Chris: 👍🏻

A thumbs up?? Really Chris??

I internally face palmed, he was still a dork.

I spotted Chris's car parked out on the road leaving the drive way empty, once i had parked up he then drove up and parked behind me. Mason was already out the car and running over to see Chris before i even had my belt off!

I got out and walked around to the trunk to get the groceries out.

"Morning Neighbour" i heard Brian approaching.

"God damn it" i muttered under my breath before sticking my head around to see him "hi Brian"

"You need a hand with those bags Y/N?"

"No thanks i'm good, got plenty of help with these two" i threw a thumb back pointing towards Chris & Scott.

"You sure? i don't mind helping you out"

"Its fine, we've got it" Chris said coming to a stop beside me with Scott and Mason either side of him, he reached in and easily scooped up two bags, Scott grabbing the another.

"We're all good, thanks for the offer though"

"Anytime, you know where i am" he smiled and walked back to his house stopping a few times to look back.

"Urghh" i shivered "guy gives me the creeps" i muttered quietly as i shut the trunk and led the way up to the house.

"Is he always like that?" Scott asked his eyes going comically wide at the thought.

"Yeah. He always appears when we're leaving the house or getting back...."

"Thats a little weird"

"Im sure he's harmless...." i shrugged. Chris was being unusually quiet, I didn't ask him what his problem was.

"Mom and aunt Hannah call him creepy Brian but its a secret" Mason said quietly to Chris and Scott even though we were now safely inside.

"Mace, stop it" i laughed shaking my head.

"He can't hear me mom its fine"

"Honestly kid...."

"Wonder where he gets it from huh?" Scott chuckled at me.

"Definitely his dad" i rolled my eyes "i love him more than life itself but he's a pain my ass sometimes" i muttered quietly so Mason couldn't hear.

"Sounds just like Chris" Scott laughed playfully nudging my shoulder with his.

"I heard that!" Chris added just making Scott laugh louder.

I made some sandwiches for lunch and grabbed some drinks taking them all out into the garden where Chris and Scott were kicking a ball around with Mason.

"Foods ready guys" i called out to them once everything was laid out.

"Can i sit next to dad?" Mason asked running over.

"Sure bud, Scott looks like you stuck with me" i shrugged switching their plates around.

"Fine by me sweetheart, id rather sit next to you anyway"

"At least someone wants to sit with me" i joked sticking my tongue out at Mason making him giggle.

"Hey Y/N..?" I heard Brian call from behind me, i sighed closing my eyes before turning around to see him looking over the fence at us.

"Hey Brian, everything okay?"

"Oh yeah! I just wanted to remind you about the BBQ, your friends are more than welcome to join us too"

"Thanks for the invite Brian but i think we're just gonna have a quiet family lunch"

"Okay well if y'all change your mind just come on over"

"Will do" i forced a smiled and turned back around.

"Has he gone?" I whispered to Chris who had the clear view of next door.

"Yeah" he nodded "that guy needs to take a hint".

"I don't think he knows how to" i shook my head before taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Maybe you should give him a shot" Scott teased wiggling his eyebrows.

"No!" Both Chris and I said at the same time.

"Relax i was joking" Scott laughed before shooting Chris a look. Chris looked like he was about say something but his cell phone ringing his pocket drew his attention.

"Sorry i need to take this" he said getting up from the table "hey Lindsey" i heard him say as he walked further down the yard for some privacy.

"Lindsey? That the girlfriend?" I asked Scott quietly, he nodded giving me a sad smile "its fine, i just wondered"

"I don't think it'll last personally"

"He obviously feels differently if he's now wanting that divorce"

"Thats because he's an idiot"

"Not gonna argue with you on that....."

"So what about you? Anyone special in your life Y/N?"

"Yeah Mason" i scoffed "i don't have time for dating. Being a single parent is tough Scott.... most guys run a mile when they hear you have a kid..."

"But you must have dated a bit?"

"Not really" i shook my head feeling my face burn in embarrassment.

"Y/N, there has been someone since my brother right?"

I looked up at Scott slowly shaking my head "no. I've been on a couple dinner dates Hannah set me up on but nothing ever came of it" i shrugged "its fine".

"Jesus woman how long has it been....like 7 years??" He asked looking surprised.

"Something like that" i mumbled picking up my glass of water, my throat suddenly bone dry.

"Girl that is some dry spell, please tell me you at least have a vibrator!" He said quietly so Mason wouldn't hear. I choked on the water that i was swallowing and started coughing before it turned to laugher.

"God i've missed you Scott" i smiled at him.

"I've missed you too! But that doesn't answer my question".

"Whats so funny?" Chris asked as he rejoined us.

"Just Scott being Scott" i rolled my eyes.

"Im finished mom can we go play football again now?" Mason asked looking hopeful.

"In a little bit bud, your dad and Scott are still eating".

Hannah and Lucas turned up unannounced not long after lunch was finished and I was grateful for the distraction. Lucas quickly joined in with Mason, Chris and Scott who were kicking the ball around again while Hannah poured us both a glass of wine.

"So hows it been having him around again?" She asked looking over at Chris.

"Weird. But Mason loves it"

"Your handling it better than i would be!"

"Mason deserves to know his dad, Chris has already been warned that i'll kill him if he does anything to upset him"

"I don't doubt that for a second" she laughed refilling our glasses.

"So..... Friday? I was thinking we start small just hitting some bars then we can end the night at 'Ruby's' for some dancing. I know you need to be wasted before you even consider dancing"

"Han i said id go out for a few drinks not an all nighter!"

"Oh come on! You haven't had a good night out in forever babe, we'll find us some cute guys...."

"Hannah...." i groaned closing my eyes.

"Ooh i heard you mention cute guys" Scott sat down looking very interested in our conversation.

"Im trying to talk Y/N into finding a cute guy to give her some much needed attention when we go out Friday" Hannah told Scott making me roll my eyes.

"Id listen to Hannah, you are in some serious need of male attention"

"But i don't just hook up with strangers guys.... we've talked about this!"

"Well maybe you should! Im just saying you deserve to find someone who makes you happy Y/N. Just because your a mom now doesn't mean you can't find love" Hannah said reaching over taking my hand with a smile. She had a point.... i couldn't sit around waiting for a man who had made his feelings perfectly clear 7 years ago. A man who was in a serious relationship..... maybe it was time to try and move on from him.

"Can i please come with you? I could use a night out" Scott asked looking hopeful.

"Sure, its been a while since you joined us on a night out Scotty" i smiled at him.

"You can help me find this one a man while your at it" Hannah smirked and shared a look with Scott that spelt nothing but trouble.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @denisemarieangelina @mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie

Blind Date | YOONMIN Short Story

——————

park jimin sat in the cushioned chair, blind folded, wearing his casual best, in hopes of impressing whichever stranger his partner turned out to be. you see, his best friend jeon jungkook, had dragged him to one of those blind date events taking place in their city and now jimin sat like a complete idiot and for what? why was he trying so hard? he told himself he couldnt care less about this outing so why did he even bother wearing his best jeans?

jimin sighed and as the countdown on the intercom reached 0 he could hear footsteps approaching. this made jimin a bit anxious. his eyes were bound, he didnt know where in the room his friend jungkook sat and in less a second he would meet a complete stranger he’d spend the rest of this forsaken date with. jimin’s fight or flight instict ticked as he felt someone walk dangerously close to his chair. why the fuck did he agree to this? jimin thought, it was safe to say that whoever came up with a blind dinner date pop-up event was a complete idiot. he now sat in high alert waiting to defend himself despite the circumstances and the obvious fact that he couldnt see anything at all.

so he sat and waited; jimin was beginning to think he’d been stood up even in this stupid blind date. that is, until he heard;

“hello?” a stranger with a deep voice approached him, “im min yoongi,” his voice was eargasmic, it made the little hairs on jimin’s arms stand up and sent chills down his back.

“park jimin,” jimin introduced himself in a shy and unsually low tone. jimin wasnt usually shy but this man’s voice alone made him feel small, intimidated and dominated even.

“should we get right to it?” the stranger’s disembodied yet gravelly voice suggested, “i cant really ask you what you like to eat cause that’s against the rules so, ima take a hunched here and hope you enjoy it. is that ok jimin?”

jimin nodded like an idiot, in a trance. unlike five seconds ago now jimin mentally thanked whoever’s stupid idea was to wear blindfolds cause if not yoongi would be completely exposed to his dialated pupils which signaled his lovey dovey eyes.

“ok, i placed the order. when it comes out please be completely honest with me,” yoongi said, after quietly thanking who i assumed was the server, “i promise i wont cry too hard.”

yoongi’s chuckle.

wow.

that was the most beautiful sound jimin’s ears have ever had the pleasure of hearing. the captivating sound was light and addictive, jimin wanted yoongi to chuckle all throught the night.

“don’t worry yoongi,” jimin let out instinctively. it didn’t matter how nasty what yoongi picked out for him was, he would lie, cheat, fibble, he would do anything to get a shot at a second date with this stranger with the honey dipped voice, “i wont go too hard on you.”

“no, please do but maybe lie about it to the host and we can always try again on our second date.”

jimin smiled, maybe a little too widely and he had to quickly remind himself that yoongi could still in fact see the idiotic smile plastered on his face, “already in for a second date? are you that whipped already?”

“i mean, look at you, park jimin. youre a whole vision in itself. i could sit here all night and talk about how perfect you look.”

“you havent even seen half of my face yet min yoongi,” jimin scoffed in a joking manner.

“fair enough park jimin,” he spoke in a tone of newfound confidence and determination, his voice dropped about two octaves and jimin again froze at how deep and addicting it was to listen to min yoongi’s voice, “let’s get to know eachother before our meal comes to us.”

“fine,” jimin said clearing his throat, “that sounds fine by me.”

“are you from this area jimin?” yoongi asked in his husky tone. fuck this man’s voice would surely be jimin’s demise. he couldnt wait to take his blindfold off to reveal the face of the stranger whose voice had jimin wrapped around his finger.

“no, im actually from busan. i moved out to seoul with some of my friends for school.” jimin said.

“you all go to the same university?” he questioned.

“yeah we do. we all applied together and got in together so we just moved in together and attend the same school,” jimin shrugged. he was infact lucky to have friends who shared similar interests and life aspirations. lucky enough that after high school graduation while everyone waved goodbye to their bestfriends, jimin, taehyung and jungkook were packing together ready to take on the next four years of college right by eachother’s side.

“youre very lucky,” yoongi confessed, “not many people get to attend the same school as their bffs after high school. usually people grow apart.”

“yeah im glad i have them here with me. i’d be a lone wolf in seoul if it wasnt for them.” jimin said. “one of my bestfriends, jungkook, was actually the one who dragged me here?”

“wait are you an introvert park jimin?” yoongi questioned. jimin couldn’t see much of yoongi but he could feel the subtle movements the stranger made in his chair at the other end of the table.

“im as introverted as they come. it took a whole lot of will power, a lot of convincing by my friend jungkook and a million pep-talks from our dorm room to here to get me to calm down a bit,” jimin confessed.

“are you nervous right now jimin?” he let out in a soft yet deep under-tone. his whispering made him sound like an asmrist and jimin wasn’t sure he could handle listening to him talk im such a low tone any longer.

“well i was nervous yoongi, but-“ he began, “your voice.”

“what about my voice?” yoongi asked and jimin could almost hear the cockiness in his voice.

“it’s soothing yoongi, it’s really calming my nerves,” jimin was completely transparent with the man. well of course jimin hid the fact that aside from calming him down a bit, yoongi’s voice also aroused him. that detail he could definitely keep to himself, “in that case i’ll keep talking,” he was definitely now going to begin using his sweet and deep voice against jimin for the rest of the night, “what do you study in school, jimin?”

“dance,” jimin let out, “contemptorary dance to be exact.”

“have you danced for long?” yoongi questioned.

“since i was 9 years old.”

“so youre a professional?”

“i wouldn’t say so, i have a long way to go to be considered professional.” jimin answered modestly.

“i bet your the best in your whole university,” yoongi complimented him in such a casual tone.

“well thank you,” jimin said shyly, yoongi surely knew all the right things to say, “but im not even the best in the whole junior class,”

“i find that hard to believe. on our second date how about you show me your moves?” the butterflies in jimin’s stomach were out of control at yoongi’s blatant proposition.

but at that moment jimin promised himself that he would go dancing with yoongi on their second date.

“let’s take it one second at a time yoongi, i dont even know if i like the food you picked out for me yet,” jimin teased him, “what if it was a complete miss?”

“it won’t be, my gut never lies to me.” yoongi was definitely cocky but jimin thought that was part of his charm. jimin definitely liked it.

jimin laughed, god he wished he could see yoongi’s face right about now, “what about you yoongi? are you in school? are you from seoul?”

“ah, no-“ yoongi started, “im not from seoul, i was born and raised in daegu. i actually, like you, moved to seoul for school and studied music production. i graduated a few months ago. now i work with my friend who’s an upcoming rapper.”

“congratulations on graduating,” jimin offered and yoongi thanked him in return.

“whats his name?” jimin questioned, honestly wanting to know if he’s heard of his friends work at anytime, “your rapper friend. maybe ive heard the music you guys have made together before,”

“his names rm,” yoongi let out non-chalant but jimin almost chocked on his water.

“you’re friends with rm?” jimin let out in an overly excited tone, “my best friend jungkook loves rm.”

“i could get you two tickets to his next underground show if you’d like?” he asked, his offer sounded sincere.

“i couldn’t-“ jimin let up, “we just met yoongi. i wouldnt want you to have the wrong idea of me.”

“i could never park jimin,” there he goes saying jimin’s name again, it sounded so fucking perfect coming from him and jimin could honestly sit and hear yoongi say his name over and over and over until the sun comes up, “how about this, if you like the food i picked for you, i’ll take you and your friend jungkook to the next rm concert.”

“how about we leave the concert for a third date, i want you all to myself on the dance floor for our second date,” jimin said feeling fearless, teasing him a bit in the process, “well if i like the food you picked out for me, that is.”

“thats a deal park jimin, good thing we’re about to find out.” yoongi said, and less the a second later jimin could smell the delicious food being placed in front of him.

“do you want me to help you with that?” yoongi asked as he noticed jimin struggling a bit to find his fork.

“if you could please,” jimin was about to be fed by a stranger with the most mesmerizing voice. to say his heart was going to beat right out of his chest was no exaggeration.

a couple seconds later, yoongi let out an “open up,” and jimin was met with his favorite kind of pasta, shrimp scampi. jimin was glad yoongi picked out a meal he liked because this meant they had a chance at a second date and jimin couldnt wait.

immidiately jimin clicked the right button under his side of the table signaling he’s liked the dinner picked out by blind date partner. jimin quickly took off his blind fold and after his eyes adjusted to the bright lights in the room he was met with the most beautiful man he’s ever laid eyes on. his tanned skin was honey-like and there was a perfect contrast between his brown sugar skin and his plain white t-shirt. his wide gummy smile made his eyes turned to small crescent moons and at that moment jimin couldnt believe that such a perfect voice belonged to such a perfect human being.

“are you ready to put your dancing shoes on for our second date?” jimin asked as yoongi’s gummy smile grew in size.

———————

this story has very much been alive and well on ao3 give it love there!

thanks for reading <3

A letter to myself from 2030.

Hey Rim ! Wanna hug ?

It's me ......actually it's you from 2030.l know you've been dreaming of me . So i thought i should write you a letter. I was reading through all my old letters and braindump journals .It made me rethink about my past thoughts and write to you about them

The time you are in and the time I'm writing to you are both important moments of our life .

The year 2030 is the time when we are leading the world and 2020 is the time when we just started our journey. After the covid crisis days were not so good as you've already imagined. But your 'silly "plans helped the people who needed help . Heres a note from one of your writings.

10.06.20

To all the teens who'll be leading the world in upcoming days .look at our future main concerns 

*stoping global warming 

*giving freedom toall (everyone who has a life ,freedom of speech, lifestyle and everything )

*completing the necessary needs 

*fighting future disasters sensebly 

*solving problems unitedly .

*empowering huminity and human knowledge 

*being a good global citizen .

We have to be the hero of the next 

generation. 

Our ideas are the root of our life . Trying to understand the future problems and living in your future is

not bad . You like to do things keeping their future in mind . You wanted to build an education system where you create open minded people . 

I would love to talk about your ideas 

during the covid crisis like street farming ,street education and practical learning . I hope you remember this journal pages ....

16.04.20 

Practical learning - giving assignments and research topics during the covid crisis and after the crisis showing the research and assessments .Exams will be taken through activities and practicaly while kids learn something new while giving exams .

And this will be area based .

Like to a remote village maybe clean water is a big issue .

Childrens from that village will work on it .

8.05.20

Street education - using street billboards and ad boards to teach street children and passerby .

Using fun animation and video we can teach them general knowledge and make people aware of certain topics like childmarriege and dowry .

11.06.20

Street farming - using the footover bridges and street dividers to produce free and safe food for the poor ,begger and street people .

So that they can freely eat and cook .

It will also be beneficial for all the natives living there .

Most of your ideas were based on underdeveloped coutries . And I'm really looking forward to your both websites that you are working on . learning and asking questions about anything in their mother tongue gives kids an opportunity to write and ask with freedom and you wanted to make begging a respectful profession .giving a home and shelter . While volunteers will help them and take care of them.

People will be able to donate to their personal account using your website .

Some can get employed too. Nice ideas Rim .

I know its the first pride month you are celebrating and currently you are saving money for building an free open school for poor ,street children and everyone who is curious to learn 

But the best thing you learned these days was respecting everyone and trying to keep your feet on their shoes to understand their pain and sufferings . 

But the thing you were thinking about on those days was global warming . All of my life I wanted freedom and you wanted to free all animals giving all plants a chance to grow freely even if they were not helpful . Humans are soo selfish that they only spare those lives which benefit them somehow .

To you the new normal was not mask, gloves and social distancing ,you wanted the new normal to let everyone live ,everyone who has a life , give mother nature a chance to heal herself . 

One day you wrote that "The covid crisis has taught all of us equally at a time that how we all are connected even if we are separated and how we depend on each other and we should 

admire everyone and everything.

If nature is infected nature will cure herself too. Everything is important and being here to teach us something . Even the poisons from the earth has a healing power to save lifes .

Mother nature is teaching us to be humble , respectful to every element of the earth and give equal importance as we have over here .

Just give them the chance to be , to live , breath freely , to learn and seek and teach us . I don't think humans has the right to make laws and specialy making their own " natures law ".

So many wonders got lost before finding them and will never return only because of our foolishness .

Only because they are not helpful they should die , who are we to set this cruel rule ? 

Even humans are cruel to other humans . We are treating like enemies more than mother natures childrens . because we are unaware and selfish. Peoples are different because their mindsets and that's the beauty of our nature .There is no one like us and everyone is unique and connecting different perspectives can bring us a change . Physical boundries will be nothing in front of our inner connection . We should build huminity towards humans and all living matters and let everyone bloom in their own light , energy and power to prove everyones inner beauty is in their heart .Knowledge is our power the future is in our hand and we will surely make a change !"

Well dear Rim ,

In your imaginary world you knew that one day the earth will be healed and mother earth didnt let you go. Our c mkther earth is niow healed and healing herself everyday .

On 2030 some fun things happened like reuseable straws and paper clothes became trend people were buying them . We don't cut trees to make furnitures . We are doing upcycling and using alternative options .All animals are freed now only reliable universities has the right to research on animals without keeping them caged.There are some animals getting internet famouse everyday . We have equality and balance in our education any one can learn from anywhere anytime. Education is costfree now and age is just a number . All cuntries are united. There is no fight or war .No one breaks the rule ordoes crime intentionally.

Everyone is respected here no matter what their gender ,age or status is .We are building sustainable houses for everyone using alternative ways and on this process nature is not pollouted. Everyone is earning and

no one is staying unemployed. All professions are equally admired .Self employed people are increasing day by day . Over here we don't have bad people and they are being actually educated . Teaching us life skills while making our minds open and creative . Education is costfree and we are learning to get mastery on them.

In some countries overpopulation was a massive problem but now its not and we also controling our population by supporting one child . What ever that child might be , a life is always special. We have wonderful botanical gardens and reserved seed banks which has so many rare seeds . Internet is now the most safe place and resourcefull place 

All the waste is recycled and used as energy .

Spacewaste and e waste are sorted too. 

Big countries are helping small countries and now we all are equal and same no big or small.

Mills and factories use green energy to produce theur work and they dont throw waste in the water or soil .

All professions are equally admired and learning and education is free 

Now we have a no meat day in every month of the year and it is celebrated the whole world wide.

People now do their chores by themselves and donate their belongings which they no longer need ,no one extra stuff to clutter their home .

Everyone has a place to live a sweet home and a shelter and we dont need fill rivers or cut mountains or clean 

forests to build home . Refugees are loved and cared too ,many countries are helping them to survive .

We all truely have a home to live.

There is no cage no zoo but we have virtual zoo and world tour .

Many aninals got mentally sick staying in cage for a long time ,now they allare under good treatment .

keeping pets in cage is also agnist law .You will see " No entry" billboaard in front of many forests and importaant places. Government is helping people when they need . The quantity of doing crime is very less now 

There is no injustice . laws are very strict and mandatory. We have reliable snd trustworthy judiciary. I should say there is very less pending cases .

Everyone is working hard to spread positivity .

Government is really concerned about the happinesss of their citizens . People give mental health a big priority. Government encourages to take selftime and selfcare .

We can get safe and healthy food in a very cheap price .

We understand others feelings and respect them .

We use green energies now .

Other energy sources which we used before is now where they belong ,

to the nature . We are researching very hard on various topics nowdays to seek in the beauty and mystery of mother nature .

Our biodiversity is now very increased .

Our homes can now deal with earthquakes and other disasters .

We've build durable dams to stop getting fload and bush fires are also controlled.

We no more make cigarettes or tobacco products. 

No one smokes not even vehicles ,mills and factories. No human trafficking and less fishing .

Our youth is so positive nowdays . Youth exchange programmes are increased too . We understand how important staying globally connected is .

Each of the countries has a special bugdet and plan to deal with future diseases and disasters .

We are now shareing our love .working hand in hand .

There us no negetivity and no hatred agnist anyone .

Everyone gets to drink clean water and eat fresh safe food.

We don't 

have sewage problems nowdays .

Everything is by design and mother natures order . We dont want to harm our nature and so do our mother nature . 

Earth has now chaged a lot we have wonderful seasons and climate .

Whereever I look I see greenery and beauty ,love and peace .

Everyone is working hard to make our world a better place .

We only have one earth and we love her so much , we don't want to leave her or make her unhappy or sick .

We are working thinking about our future and having a sustainable world 

You would not believe ! my eyes are now filled with soothing greenery 

! 

Pond with ducks ,plants, butterflies bees ,dragonflies , grasshoppers everywhere with farmers and villegers .

And there is no pollution , no dirt 

literally zero waste . Everything is recycled reuse reduced and upcycled .

We have mighty leaders reliable law and trustworthy government .

At this time the world is so beautiful , everyones heart is so beautiful .its the happiest world ever .

I know its still like a dream to you .

But if i say its true you would ask me who did it ? And my answers is us , all of us everyone unitedly . One by one from various countries bright minds and leaders came up and worked for the change .

You everything you wanted to be. I'm nothing different from you .

I am you and you are still in me. 

On this world of 2030 .

Im compltetinng all the dreams that a teenager saw on her 16's. Teacher and connecting with hearts through internet .helping the poor and helpless ,working with the UN , studying in Japan and doing a research .

While your reading even if 

you believe in my words the law of attraction will make it true because youve already started working on it .

I wrote this letter for a competition but never end up giving it to someone or somewhere because it became special.

Careful (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Chapter Summary: You’re not the only one who’s developing feelings but Roger is too, trying to have you close to him at first, but then he’s trying to forget you over way too much scotch. This is how both of you get sick and he takes care of you again. 

Author’s Note: It’s Roger’s POV in this chapter, yeeet! (Please don’t @ me I can’t tell you why and if you don’t like it I’ll never attempt it again, I promise)

Words: ~2k

Warnings: I’d rate this mature because (and this is a spoiler) someone’s masturbating aaand there’s drinking again and eventually someone has to throw up

Chapter 4

Previous Parts: Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3

I couldn’t fall asleep that night because Tiffany never left my head: her reddish-blonde curls, her incredibly green eyes, her lips for fucks sake - I needed that. I craved being close to her, to feel her, to hear her breath like I’d never wanted anything else. The boys had noticed that I was hitting my drums harder than I usually did while messing up their rhythms and I knew that they knew that something was off but they wouldn’t mention it if I got myself under control before our next gig tomorrow night. I just didn’t see how that was possible, when I was now here, lying awake and only the thought of Tiffany’s voice made my whole stomach feel light, in the best way possible. I had no idea how long I’d been staring in the dark but I was seriously contemplating to go out and either get drunk or find some girl to do whatever it took to distract myself. I just couldn’t let myself think about what I’d do to her if she hadn’t been this innocent little princess I saw, every time I looked at her. Even though only my refusal to think of that was enough to give me a hard one, already. I swallowed hard as I carefully touched myself and I stopped trying to shake the thought of her because I knew I couldn’t while I was masturbating - what would it feel like to bury myself in her body, feel her skinny, yet strong legs wrap around me and see her losing herself in my thrusts. God, I just wanted her to feel as good as she made me feel when I got into the kitchen to a prepared breakfast, when I didn’t feel like a dumbass because she’d make me study and when I managed to make her laugh. I gripped on my own hair at the thought of her laugh, trying to imagine it were her tiny hand and her skinny fingers pulling on the strands while I held back a moan. Tiffany Abberforth was the most precious human being on this planet and I’d have to protect her with my whole life, I knew that for a fact. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“You wanna join me tonight?”, I asked her, when I met her in the kitchen the next morning. Probably I was being selfish to try and get her out of the comfort of our flat, but I wanted her to be closer to me anytime. She was reading some book like the smart girl she was but she put it away as soon as I tried to talk to her. 

“Where are you going?”

“The boys and I have a gig and I thought - since you’re freed now - you might like…?”

“Are you trying to make me drunk two out of three nights in a row?”, she called me out in a joking tune and it made me smile to see her that relaxed. 

“Of course not, but I’d like you around me two out of three nights in a row.” Damn, she had no idea what she did to me when she blushed. She looked down at her hands, seemingly battling herself to a decision. “No pressure, Tiffy, if you’re there, you’re there and if not I’ll still play for you.”

“You know it’s not because I don’t want to hear you play, right, Rog?”

“Do I?”, I asked and leaned my head to the side a little too let her know I wasn’t completely serious. 

“I can’t see myself enjoying your show in a huge crowd at all, it scares me, especially since I wouldn’t know anyone watching you, too and I - “

“You can join us for our rehearsal on Friday, if you prefer that.”

“That’s perfect”, she immediately agreed and I felt great about it. It relieved the thought of being rejected, at least. 

“We can have dinner after, if you’d like.”

“We always have dinner, Rog.”

“No, I mean, you and me - and the boys if we can’t get rid of them - having dinner in a restaurant, if you’d like.” Now I was the one blushing, I feared, as she looked at me in surprise. 

“Yeah, I think I’d like that”, she said after a moment and I smiled at her. 

“Me too, Tiffy.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I knew I shouldn’t really - even though there wasn’t anything exclusive about Tiffany and me, there wasn’t a “we” if it came to anything else than talking about our shared flat situation, but I still felt guilty and like I wasn’t supposed to let all the girls approach me after our gig. 

“Hey there, sweet boy”, one of them purred, “How you doing, love?”, the other one said and “You did so amazing!”, I heard a third one while they really gave me a hard time to move forward, just trying to get to the bar behind Brian. Their hands were all over me and I was glad I didn’t wear something too showing or open, even, and it wasn’t that I didn’t like it, I just felt like it wasn’t fair. I wasn’t looking for anything they had to give me, instead I was trying to figure out which of them reminded me the most of Tiffany, really, and I knew that was just wrong. 

“Thanks, girls, but let me have a drink first, would you?”

Of course I ended up buying the three of them drinks and I hated to admit it, but it was kind of a given that I went outside “to smoke”, only to make out with one of them, finally letting go of the thought of Tiffany’s emerald green eyes. I didn’t enjoy the night at the girl’s place - as if the universe wanted to punish me, really, for drinking myself into a state where I didn’t only forget about the girl’s - or Tiffany’s - name but also about my own, to a state where I didn’t care about anything anymore, trying to find relieve in it. I couldn’t even remember the sex for the love of god, only assuming it was good, by how the girl was cuddled against me, how our clothes were all over the floor. But the mattress woke me up, squeaking and poking into my back, which didn’t make the pain in my head any better. I just stumbled to grab my clothes and left, unable to look back at the girl or respond when she called for me, only heading for the door. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the hole situation getting the best of me, but I didn’t make it really far without throwing up and horribly cursing myself. I’d done dumb things but they didn’t really compare to last night. 

Also, when I got home, there was light in the kitchen. It was an early morning and I knew, Tiffany was one to get up before sunrise but couldn’t that girl let herself get some rest once? She was reaching for the medicine cabinet, when I stepped into the kitchen, feeling her eyes on me and suddenly realising that I could easily be covered in my own vomit, if I was as unlucky as I felt that moment. 

“You need help?”, I asked nonetheless and the worry in her eyes got wilder as she heard my hoarse voice. 

“Where have you been?”

“I couldn’t tell you her name, even if I wanted to and I really shouldn’t have gone”, I tried to explain, unable to lie to her, or stand her quizzing look another second. “I feel sick, man, I had way too much scotch last night.” What would I do next, call her “mate”? This is really a great way to safe your ass out of this situation, seriously, keep going, Taylor, you’re doing great. 

“Makes two of us, though”, Tiffany murmured and stepped away, acknowledging that she was a bit too tiny to reach the pain killers. I reached up, to hand them to her, unable to look her way - mostly because I was really aware of the bad taste in my mouth and I didn’t want her to smell me in the end. 

“What’s wrong, love?”, I still asked, scared that she wasn’t alright. 

“I get sick after every exam period, really and here I am, coming down with a fever.”

“Then, hush, to bed!”, I said, grabbing her to make her move and tug her in, before I could escape into the bathroom. “I’ll make you tea and get you soup, you just stay there, you hear me?”, I rambled in the process of getting her into her bed. I started brushing my teeth, while I went into the kitchen to put some tea water to a boil and looked through the cabinets for soup, realising I’d have to pick some up at the store. That wasn’t half bad in the end, because it forced to make myself look somewhat decent and I could get new cigarettes, cheese and toast at the store too, so I could at least eat some terrible breakfast when I came back to find Tiffany asleep. 

I prepared the soup as it said on the pack and carefully carried it to her night stand, before I sat down next to Tiffany and softly ran my fingers over her face to make her wake up. Her skin was really clean and soft, but it felt hot to a point that I wished I knew a doctor, a better one than myself, for sure. 

“Wake up, sweet girl, you need to get your soup down, so you’ll get better.” She smiled at me weakly and tried to move to a sitting position, so she could cuddle against her bed’s headboard and slowly eat the soup I held for her. I watched her eat in silence while I sat next to her, my legs crossed on her mattress, realising I should turn her heater up for a start. The tea water had gotten cold while I was gone so I reheated it, to finally make the tea she needed and I looked at her in her bed critically, while she sipped it. “Tiffy, do you want me to get you more pillows?”, I asked because it was kind of impossible that I had more pillows than she did, right? She giggled at me and moved her head for me to come closer. 

“Rog, you’re acting like my mom - worse, actually, because she doesn’t consider you sick as long as your bones aren’t broken.”

“But -“

“I just need to rest, don’t worry”, she didn’t let me interrupt her. “You should go, so I don’t infect you.”

“I won’t leave you alone, unless that was your attempt to kick me out.”

“No, it wasn’t”, she explained and I felt relieved. She didn’t seem to be angry at me or the way I’d spent my night and that made me feel a little less sick. 

“Good, then”, I said and slipped under her covers. Her eyes were on me, looking a little shocked, otherwise just intensely focused on me, as I moved towards her to rest her head on one of my arms and spoon her. “You fine, love?”

“Yes, but you don’t have to -“

“But I want to”, I whispered into the back of her neck. 

“Thank you”, she murmured, shifting around a little to get the most comfortable.

“I was worried, when you didn’t come home.”

“I’m so sorry, Tiff”, I told her again, honestly. “I really shouldn’t have gone.”

“Glad you realised that”, she mumbled and it made me chuckle a little. Her breathing became slower and deeper when she feel asleep and I hummed one of the songs, the boys and I were working on, to fasten up the process, until I eventually fell asleep as well. 

Tags

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Let me know what you guys thought 💕💕

(1/?) hello!! im sry if this blog is just for survivors, but i guess i am one in a way? so far? i live with an emotionally abusive mother. it's very confusing,, hurtful, stressing, as she's done tons of good and generous things for me, & isnt just this 100% shit mom. but shes also hurt me TERRIBLY bad. SO BAD. i can acknowledge the good shes done but, i cant just ignore the bad. she claims shes apologized before, and i can forgive, but she continues to hurt me and isnt willing to change

(2/?) she claims it’s “just her” & that i cant force her to be a different person. ive tried to rationalize with her, but i cant. she claims im selfish & only think about how i feel. how i judge others but not myself. she’s hit me, choked me, called me a liar. she says homophobic/transphobic things & recently found my online acc/stuff and i was exposed as bi. im all alone & vry tired. amongst all this, i need a therapist, possibly meds- some sort of mental help/evaluation 4myself n feel blank

3/? ,, i have/am struggling with self harm, intrusive thoughts, terrible fkn anxiety and the whole nine yards,,.. i really need help and a safer environment. im safe physically to some extent (shes not afraid of cops either), not mentally. ive been gaslighted, insulted, called “sensitive”, it all. i have 2 yrs to grad but turn 18 nxt yr. im trying to save $ this year to convince im stable enough to stay with another relative by next summer- ive looked into LGBT shelters, everything-

4/4 this plan is my last resort. im tired of feeling like this. i cling onto good memories, pride stuff i sneak 2 see etc to pass by. also im SO!! sorry if this is the wrong blog for this! i just stumbled across it and felt a hand reach out.. so if u have any help on motivation, depression/mental issues/calm rooms, info on shelters/living in them, moving out, getting thru this sort of thing, lgbtq+ resources or the like for me or anybody!

so there is a lot to unpack here. First off I want you to know that you are welcome here, regardless of the type of abuse or current situation, everyone is welcome here. Not only that but I strongly believe that anyone who has ever experienced abuse, whether it was years ago or this morning, for a short time or all your life, you are a survivor. You were abused, you lived though it, and you’re here, you survived it. And I am so damn proud of you. And those who don’t feel like they can keep going are just as valid, and every time they reach out, they prove just how much of a survivor they really are. Yourself among them.

Not only that, but no matter how nice your mom is, if she hurts you, if she refuses to change her behavior so that she can stop hurting you, then it doesn’t matter what she does or how much she apologizes. Something to keep in mind is that if they were really, truly sorry, then they would work to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. Because THAT is what it means to love somebody, it means trying to be your best you, to support and protect them even if just from yourself. This is regardless of whether its a mistake or a deep character flaw.

Abusers, as much as it may hurt to hear, choose to abuse people, they are fully aware of their actions. If you ever wonder if this is true, then think about how they treat you in public, how they behave around others. Many will find that their abuser becomes a completely different person are others, might even be nicer to you. This is because they know that what their doing is wrong.

And your mom is wrong. You have an ingrained RIGHT to feel safe, and to be able to tell someone when they are hurting you and talk it out with them without feeling invalidated. She’s wrong, your feeling are valid.

This one is gonna hurt too if you don’t already know it, but your mom cannot be rationalized with. I am really, deeply sorry to tell you this because we all wish it wasn’t the case, but trying to rationalize with her will most likely only drain you and hurt worse. I would know.

the things that she has done to you are truly awful and i cannot even to begin to express how sorry I am that she treats you that way. Please know that you can always come here if you need to very or ask questions or anything.

as for resources I’ll keep a look out for stuff that will be most helpful but I dont really have much that can be an all encompassing solution for any one problem, but I can give you want I do have. 

http://yournewapartment.tumblr.com/ ( adulting tips)

http://m.facebook.com/notes/dreamcatchers-for-abused-children/steps-to-take-if-cps-wont-help-an-abused-child/953279954722057    - good for building a case

http://www.glaad.org/transgender/resources

the It Gets Better Project documents the stories of lgbt+ teens to share

https://itgetsbetter.org/

the Trevor Project has 24/7 counselors and a support system where you can meet others going through similar things

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/#sm.001w5ic1r19asdneqfc28j8sqbndf

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/trevor-support-center/#sm.001w5ic1r19asdneqfc28j8sqbndf

That’s it for now but I’ll keep an eye out for you. Stay safe and please do come back anytime! I’ll be praying for you!

Hi! I love Dan and Phil, individually and together, but I think they're not trying to hide a romantic relationship. Don't you think that after ten years, they'd finally come out if they were? I mean there are a lot of gay couples on youtube and it would not be that big of a deal today than it was in 2007. Just wanted to hear your opinion on that. Have a nice day!

before i answer, disclaimer: i have ADD and this post might get messy since i find it difficult to concentrate and phrase myself properly (and english isn’t even my main language!)

well, i’m not gonna try and force my own views down your throat or anything but let me ramble a bit about why i wholeheartedly believe dan and phil are in a relationship;

i think i’ll start with the very fact that they recently moved to their third shared home together. say whatever you want to say but if they were indeed just friends, considering they’re in their mid 20s and 30 dont you think they’d want to move out separately and get going with their lives? and dont you think they wouldn’t be so keen on making comments about keeping living together in the long run (or forever….  a forever home say whaaaat). 

now, you might argue with the good ol’ “but they benefit from living together regardless of relationship status”. fair enough. however, let me point out that it has became as clear as day especially in 2017 that they share a bedroom. i don’t know about you but i don’t think two strictly platonic friends who just moved into a duplex would want/ need to share a bedroom unless they’re uhhh mayhaps in a relationship and love to cuddle? i know a wild concept…….

and i’m sorry but if you want to argue against the shared bedroom fact with the shoebox phil claims is “his room” i have nothing to say but shake my head. no way phil actually lives in that room that has no windows and no space to move around and why is the entire room crammed in this one corner… where is the rest of the room……. and why is that room has no personal touch to it…. it’s literally just AmazingPhil props and things……… feels much more like a set to me than an actual bedroom. (also we saw phil’s mirror and hair straighter in the moon room aka “”dan’s bedroom”” which i think we can all collectively agree is simply “the bedroom”)

another thing that strikes me is how dan joins phil’s family vacations (especially in 2017) and how he seems to become part of the family much more than anyone who’s classified as “platonic” to phil would have. dan is just as much of a lester as cornelia is? dan joins the lesters just as much and as frequent as a spouse would. in fact, dan joins the lesters so much on their adventures that if im not wrong, the longest dan and phil spent apart in 2017 was not more than a weekend? that’s whack!

now these were just three things that were very prominent in 2017 regarding the belief whether dan and phil are in a relationship or not that were “behind the scenes”as in going on in their personal lives, kind of? i mean sure we see the  shoebox on AmazingPhil and the moon room in some liveshows and we get pictures from their shared vacations but now i will move on to what we see on screen across their channels

i’ll start this with a throwback to the boncas bc i think that damn speech is enough to debunk any “uwu platonic” argument, ever. i don’t think phil would have done THAT if dan didn’t mean a whole lot to him and i think saying the universe would rip in half in they go apart is a concrete proof that they themselves can;t and don’t want to imagine a life in which they are not joint at the hip. 

moving on to gamingmas, which i will forever find so significant?? they broke a lot of boundaries during that month regarding of invading personal space, a bit of a more mature humor (esp on phil’s account), casual touching and a whole lot of flirting and a lot less (almost none at all) looks straight into the camera to show they are aware this is filmed or to do a “wtf is this lol” kinda thing. gamingmas was a turning point. i will forever firmly believe they did all of that in an attempt to normalize this kind of behavior on screen (and it definitely worked!)

dan and phil continued the vibes of gamingmas well into 2017 and the casual touches, lingering gazes and flirting (as well as expressing affection towards males in specific) is now the normal running theme over at dapg to a degree where we don;t even lose our shit anymore. we joke and meme but nothing strikes us as overwhelming bc we are “used” to it, which i think dan and phil aimed for i genuinely think they wanted to get to this stage of showing more comfort and more intimacy on screen without everyone and their mothers going whack over “pHaN iS rEaL!!!!!1″ and for it all to come across as oh so casual and chill! 

so now you ask, “they go through all that why not just come out lol”

WELL, in my honest opinion, dan and phil will never officially come out as a couple. and you know what, maybe things would have been different if The Video didn’t leak and get spread around (twice, mind you.) but things happen and one thing lead to another and after all they have been through and how they were shaped as people and their experiences with guarding and protecting themselves and their privacy any sort of statement about whether or not they are a couple or just friends or even paid actors  (let alone labeling themselves and their sexuality bluntly) is highly unrealistic. so if you are waiting for a coming out video or whatever to convince you that won’t ever happen i’m afraid. 

dan and phil value their privacy and they have every right to do so.

so yes, maybe in the early days of 2009/10 they were very flirty all across social media and on camera and maybe just maybe you need to consider the few following things regarding why they stopped with that:

The Video leak. like honestly? can’t and won’t find any more justified reason to feel the need for privacy and shielding yourself and making comments on how ‘het’ you are  for instance just to brush off the most intimate thing imaginable that since has been glorified and memorized by millions(?) of people who were never meant to even know this video and that declaration of affection even exists. is it scary. and i fully understand the “no homo howell” phase and how awkward they appeared together on camera for awhile, very very proud of how far they;ve came esp in 2017 though. 

the radio show! is it a little tied to The Video leak since the second leak happened when the radio show was still fairly new but before they moved to london (into their second shared home coughs) they weren’t all that big, you know? but with the popularity of the radio show came the increasing popularity of their youtube channels and their followers/ subscribers count went up and up and their content became exposed to a much larger range of audience and these new audience/ fans were not familiar with the past (at least not at first glance) and dan and phil needed to leave “good” impression (not that being flirty and dumb wasn’t good impression but it wasn’t all that professional and now they’ve grown big enough to be in need of professionalism.)

these two things were a turning point to how dan and phil view themselves on camera and their content itself (phil sticking to the AmazingPhil PG persona) (dan with his struggles with creativity and integrity zzzz) and really, considering their story  (and how well known the early days are, and how dan and phil are aware to that…) it suddenly makes perfect sense why dan and phil aren’t in any sort of rush or need to ever come out.

however though, i think that the “post baking universe” as in the halloween 2016 baking video, the boncas speech, the european leg of tatinof, pinof 8, and gamingmas were a prep to this switch in dynamics we have seen in 2017 and that keeps very steady so far. feels as if late 2016 was so “wild” bc they were testing the waters and our reactions to see if they wanna pull through with this change. 

so, even if they will never officially come out, their dynamic both on and  off screen screams that they are literal boyfriends and they don’t need to spell it out for us to know and see. anyone who cares enough about their relationship status and look at their content with it in mind can very obviously and easily see how in love these two dorks are. same love from the early days of 2009/10 only now it has shifted into a steady, secure, safe, most wonderful thing and you can see that their love towards each other in filling their hearts with pure joy.

so yeah, dan and phil are definitely in a relationship and that doesn’t seem to change anytime soon, if ever at all.

(THAT WAS SO MESSY IM SORRY BUT I HOPE MY POINT CAME ACROSS?)

After happy leaves, Doc freshens up and does his paperwork for research and sends it. Happy on the other end goes to her apartment and sees no one, she takes bath and thinks about what doc said about moving, she wasn't sure about it and thought of keeping it that way for now.

She gets a call from garage and goes to fix things there her boss in garage asks

Happy’s boss: Hey champ, How’s the classes going? Did you make any friends?

Happy: Yeah! Class is quite good and I got myself 2 friends But, the theory class are way boring than I expected as I knows more than what’s in the book.

Happy’s boss: You have to complete your college and have yourself a degree so that u can achieve your dream and get settled in life. So, concentrate and get it girl.

Happy : Thank you Boss, and there you go it’s fixed.

Happy’s boss: Thank you happy here's your check,

Happy: Thank you and bye 😊

She heads to deli to get groceries and feels happy that she got into a good college and she is goanna make successful engineer soon. She buys things and heads home, she prepares lunch and watches a movie. The movie plot is about a father and daughter, she gets emotional and tears flow over her cheeks, she gets a ping from Toby

Toby: Hi Happy!!! I would need your help fixing my bike. I could not start it anymore may be the engine seized due to rain yesterday. Would u mind looking at it when you are free?

Happy: Sure doc, give me few minutes, while I come there with my tools.

Happy does the vessels and takes her tools to go doc’s place to check on toby's bike.

Happy: Hey Toby!!

Doc: Hi happy, sorry for disturbing you.

Happy: Hey tats ok I just finished my work. Let me take a look at it. You sure know things and your bike 😊 There is a little bit problem in the engine. I need few parts let me go get it. Do u know any shops nearby?

Doc: Yes, there is one 3 blocks away

Happy: Ok let me go buy and cm back.

Doc: I'll feel better if you let me walk you to shop

Happy: Sure, doc let's go Thank you again.

They go to shop and buy things for bike and get back. Happy really liked his company as he makes her forget ala her agony and gets her back to happy mood. Doc likes the way she is that makes her like him even more. They get back and she repairs it in no time.

Happy: Here's your thing, just try and let me know if it's all good.

Doc: why don't you do the honors

Happy sighs and starts the bike It goes al smooth...

Doc: Thank you happy!! you saved my day 😊 Come on your hands are greasy get it cleaned in my place Happy: Can u carry the tools for me?

Doc: Obviously Ms. Quin, Anything for the mechanical prodigy.

Happy: yeah, you genius.

Happy walks and toby follow her,

Happy: So, toby how is your paperwork on research going? is it done yet?

Doc: I have three papers to complete and I wanted to refer a book in the nearby library that is when I found out my bike didn't start and had to ask you to check

Happy: Uh ok!!

Happy cleans her hand and doc gives her towel to dry, she takes it and asks...

Happy: Would you mind if I join you to help finding the book for reference.

Doc: I'd be delighted I’m too bored to go there alone At least your company shall make it worth. Shal we?

Happy: Yes doc, keep the tools here I shall collect once we are back.

They reach the library and toby says the rack detail where she can find the book Happy says too much of medical terms 😯

Toby- Can't help and rolls his eyes.

Here I found it

Nice work

Toby starts taking reference and gets completely involved in it. Happy watches toby like a cotton candy in a shop she is so attracted to him, His personality, his voice, his smile and the way he cares for her, the way he is They head home and he drops her and gives his apartment keys to her and says…

Doc: Happy please take your tools and have the keys with you. I shall submit the paperwork and get back here to collect the keys

Happy: Sure.

He heads to the department and submits his paperwork. He meets some guys on the road and gets into small fight when they start teasing about his character and how he fails to connect to people. His professor shouts on them and asks toby to go home. Toby reaches home and sits in the hallway wrecking things and hurting his hands It's been a while toby left to college and happy seems worried that he isn't back yet. Happy tries to call toby several times and it just goes unanswered and she thinks of going to college to check on him, She walks down and while she tries to get her bike She sees toby sitting in the hallway with al bruises and blood on his hand and head, she is terrified seeing him and runs to see him.

Happy: Doc, what the hell happened? why are you wrecking things? You are bleeding, do you know that come on let me take you to hospital.

Toby doesn’t utter a word Happy calls a cab makes him sit and cleans his wound with her scarf, I know it's not clean. But I can't see you bleeding let me just clean this up. they reached hospital and Doctor treats toby and gives some medication, Toby says

Toby: this one would work better and I have got it in my place just finish up the dressing. I shall take the meds myself I am a doctor

Happy: Toby shut up let him treat you.

Hospital Doctor: Take care of him says the doctor

They both get home Happy takes toby to his apartment She calls her roommate and says she won't be coming home tonight and there is some dinner left and asks her to have it if she wants. Doc says

Doc: You don’t have to do it. I can take care please go home.

Happy: Just shut up doc. You helped me when I was sick, I’m worried about you. I’m not steeping aside until you are back up. your hands and head are badly injured, just let me take care of you, ok come on doc let's get you some food and meds sit here while I prepare something.

Happy goes inside but doesn't know what to do, she is not good at cooking like she is with machine Doc says…

Doc: happy I can you that you are struggling with it. I am ordering food for us come over here you don’t have to worry.

Happy: You saved me I don't cook. I just reheat 😊😊

Doc- Interesting

Happy: Don’t worry you have got a great cook who can cook for you anytime.

Happy: Is it that your mouth keeps working al time or is it that you are high on pain meds.

Doc: Um sorry 😳

Food arrives happy says I l go check n gets foods Since toby's hands were hurt, he struggled to eat and spoon falls down.

Happy: Take it easy doc let me feed you .

Happy feeds doc and all he could feel was happy that he is injured so that he could be taken care by the girl he likes. Happy gives him the med and he suggests

Doc: Can you get the tablet in the drawer, a green one that treats it better than the one that person gave.

Happy: U never give up.

Doc: NEVER!!

Happy: Here take this and lie down.

she puts a blanket on him and asks to take some rest. He falls asleep and she watches him being so cute She keeps a bottle of water and some soup in case. he needs something and tries to wake up from the chair. She could not get going because she call feel her hands stuck She turns behind n sees. Toby holding her hand tight and is in deep sleep. She felt sweet and supportive when she saw him holding her hand which she wanted always She wanted someone to hold her hand and keep her safe always she felt alone since she was a child. She didn't want to break it and disturb him so she let it be and sat next to him in the couch and stayed all night with him.

It was morning and doc woke up due to pain in hand. He saw his holding happy's and her next to him He felt like he was in a heaven with angel herself holding his hands. He just turned a bit and it woke up her

Happy: Hey doc how are you?

Doc: Feeling better except for the pain in my hand, Sorry that I bothered you last night.

Happy: Tats fine doc. Just get some rest let me make something for you although I don't no anything more than eggs 🤣

Doc: Tats ok happy I shall make breakfast for both of us.

Happy: No that’s fine. this time just walk me through Let me do it Ok.

Doc: happy just keep the pan, light it, Happy tries to light it and a small spark hurts her finger and she feels burns.

Doc: happy are you alright? show me your hand. There is a small blister in her finger come here let me check. He applies the ointment say her leave it to him. I shall order food dont worry She says ok doc better do it I shall fresh up and get back Happy goes to her apartment.

After couple of days one evening when they are walking back to their apartment

Happy: Toby you looked so bad on the day you were injured. I wanted to ask about the things that happened I was not sure if u l feel comfortable sharing. I was worried watching you in that state

Doc; Uh actually I don’t connect that well to others. I have high IQ but low EQ it's always been like this. So, group of guys in college mock me with that and they try to trick me into fight. The same thing happened the other day. It got intense and I was hit by them until my professor came to rescue It's been like this since I was young, normal people won't understand people like me and try to bully

Happy: I too have same issues but I don’t try connecting to people. Don worry things l be fine. Bye doc take care.

They reach their apartment. Happy thinks whole night and feels bad and connects to doc to her situation and how bad it is to be like that She thinks she has to support him.

Things go as usual, It becomes a routine. Class, bus, casual talks, studies and home It's now the second year of her college, All goes smooth. The class is planning for a visit to a mechanical industry which is 2 hours journey from there. So happy informs toby that she is out for 2 days and asks him to take care Happy and her friends head to the place. While attending class his friends ask toby if he wants to gambling place to spend some time and earn money Toby had not been gambling for an year or so after meeting happy as he doesn't want her to know the other addiction of his which might give a bad impression. As happy isn't there and he wanted some distraction he agrees and goes to the place to play He could feel gambling in al his nerves when he enters also he feels a bit off thinking what could happen if she knows about this, So leaves al tat thought and starts enjoying the game Happy returns back to hotel room after their visit to the industry. She tries to call doc n check on him. Happy calls toby call goes unanswered, She calls multiple times

Toby is busy with game and didn't notice her call, She thinks he could be busy with his work and just sends a text “Call me when you are back”

2 arounds up!!

Toby loses all his money and is thrown out by the jerks there, Being unable to bare al this he gets drunk Happy is on the way to her apartment, She reaches home after 2 hours of journey, Once she reaches she checks her phone still sees no reply from Toby She gets worried n tries to check his apartment. Happy finds the apartment is locked She gets a call from an unknown number telling I guess your friends here is drunk and is in no condition to reach home on his own sending you the location please come and take him home.

She rushes to the place n finds toby in very bad condition, She takes him to his apartment and pours a cold water on his face, Toby gains conscious n asks happy when did you come back Happy slaps him and says what the hell do you think yourself? Stop acting like kid don't u have responsibility who asked u to gamble. Go to hell and she leaves his place.

Toby feels terrible to have done all that and happy finding it out he checks his phone to call happy and sees missed calls and text that she had sent. He felt that he had done a very miserable thing today going to that place. He knows she is angry on him and tries to call her but passes out. The next morning toby calls happy she doesn't attend his phone. He goes down and see happy waking to bus stop alone she did not wait for him. He feels hateful and thinks he could speak to happy in the bus, By the time he tries to speak to happy they get into bus and happy occupies a seat next to her friend.

Toby is left with an empty seat n feels bad that he could not speak to her once they reach college. He tries to speak to her she avoids him and moves whole day goes like that. He is left alone for lunch. He controls himself knowing it was his fault to make her feel bad about him. Finally, after reaching there stop. He tries and stops happy and says

Doc: Happy I’m sorry pls don't ignore me. I can't stand that I’m already half mad with things that happened last night, Pls don't walk away I won't repeat it.

She walks fast but toby tries to stop her catching her hand

Doc: Happy please!!

Happy: shut up you idiot do you even know what condition were in outside of that place. You looked so miserable you said you left gambling long back then why did you go there? If it wasn't me you would have been under a truck yesterday Get lost!!I can't change you.

Doc; Happy happy, listen to me i know I did very bad thing yesterday but please don’t avoid me.

Happy; Doc I tell you again you have to stop gambling otherwise it's your choice.

Doc: Happy I promise I won't even go close to it ever.

She holds his hand and walks to their apartment.

Happy : Yes, doc one more thing, Mind moving my things to your apartment I have few box pending to be wrapped

Doc: Oh my goodness Happy you are moving in here Love that,

Happy: Ok let's move these things Doc

happy move her things to his apartment and settles the place Doc is all overwhelmed he could literally imagine being with happy all day in his apartment

Happy: Doc are you ok ?

Doc: never been better, Ok so do u like the place

Happy: Ya n the person too 🤣

Um. Huh I must be in heaven. Coz it feels so at this moment 😊

Arplis - News: The BEST Baby Hacks Every New Mom Needs

As a new mom, I can remember feeling like I didnt know much about being a mom. Who really does? Nothing truly nothing can prepare you for what life will be like as a parent. I would have given almost anything in exchange for some helpful baby hacks from experienced moms.

There are so many things that you dont think about before you have kids like how to prevent tripping over your toddlers toys in the middle of the night when they have a nightmare.

Or how to keep your baby boy from peeing on you when you change his diaper. I promise that never crossed my mind before having kids!

Like many parents, once my first baby was born, I found myself wondering how can I make life easier with my newborn? Over time, I learned more as a parent and grew in my confidence learning a few newborn hacks for parenting along the way helped too!

A hack is when you discover something that makes your life significantly easier. Discovering brilliant baby hacks is life-saving for new moms. Its that moment of going from how do I do this? to Ive got this.

I am so excited to share some of these sanity-saving baby hacks with you because it will make your life so much easier.

Here we go!

Baby Hacks to Save Space

Babies come with more stuff than you think they will. Help find space to store everything with these hacks.

1. Save Space in the Diaper Bag

Are you interested in saving space in your diaper bag (who am I kidding every mom is!)? Give this hack a try! You can see from the picture that everything is rolled up into a sock. This is a super easy hack to keep extra outfits in the diaper bag.

2. Dresser Space Saver

Baby clothes seriously take up a ton of room in those drawers. I know youre probably thinking that Im crazy because the clothes are so itty bitty, but trust me, youll need it because there are SO MANY of them (if you dont want to do basket loads of laundry every day).

I have learned that when you roll up the baby clothes, it saves a ton of room. Look at the before and after pictures. Its astonishing how much room you can save! Give this a try, I bet you have lots more room in your dresser than you did before.

Best Cleaning & Organization Baby Hacks

Babies get messy for lots of reasons. These hacks will save your sanity by staying organized and helping to make the cleanup a little faster.

3. Always Have Plastic Bags in Your Diaper Bag

That first time you change a diaper blow-out in your car or at a moms group, youll be grateful for these plastic bags.

4. Use a Mesh Bag For Laundry

I learned this one the hard way. Babies go through piles and piles of socks. But they are so tiny that they can literally get sucked into the insides of the washing machine only to clog it up (in which case youre shelling out $ for a repairman to take apart your machine and pull out those socks for you).

This mesh laundry bag baby hack keeps all the socks contained in one easy-to-find place.

5. Clean Pacifier Tip

Oh, those pacifiers! They are lifesavers, and at the same time nearly impossible to keep clean. If you are lucky enough to have a pacifier that came in a carry case, use it!

If you dont have one of those gems, make your own carrying case. You could use a reusable silicone bag (like a ziplock) or even a sauce container with a lid from a restaurant.

6. Have Multiple Diaper Changing Stations

Newborns get 10-12 diaper changes a day. Do you really want to go upstairs to the babys room every time you need to change a diaper?

If you live in a home with multiple stories, keep a small bin with diaper changing supplies in it (a changing pad, diapers, wipes, etc) on each floor so you dont need to go up and down the stairs every time.

7. Keep Bibs Handy

Use a command hook on the back of the high chair to store your bibs and have them handy anytime you need them.

8. Use a Pool Noodle

Think of this one as a having-your-back newborn hack. Use a pool noodle when youre carrying the babys car seat to make life easier.

Carrying a baby in a car seat can get heavy quickly. Having a pool noddle helps take off some of the pressure from your hand or arm so you can carry it for longer with more comfort.

Newborn Hacks For Sleep

Sleep so precious and in such short supply. Help your newborn sleep with these hacks.

9. Sleep For Babies Who Want To Be Held

At some point, every parent will have that one child that doesnt like to be left alone. I certainly had one.

This weighted glove is pure genius. I think its smart, safe, and a great way to save your sanity. This baby hack will help you get a little rest, or at least get something done while your baby is sleeping.

10. Under the Bed Light

I cannot tell you how many times Ive tripped in the dark trying to find something in the room or get to her. This under-the-bed-light is such a clever baby hack. I wish I would have thought about that when I had my first baby!

You could do this in any of your childrens rooms. It will give them a little nightlight and you will be able to see if you really need to go in there.

11. White Noise Machine Baby Hack

At first, your baby will sleep unpredictably (but a lot during the day). There will be times when you finally get them asleep only to have the doorbell ring or a door close loudly something that startles your baby awake. This is torture for moms!

I highly recommend using a white noise machine, a fan, or a humidifier (or anything else that makes a consistent noise like a hum) to help drown out those unwanted sounds that might startle your baby awake. We used a fan (and still do).

These baby hacks will help to save your sanity when your children are small. Give some of these a try, and let me know if they worked for you.

Id also love to hear about baby hacks that you have used in your own home. Please share them in the comments.

More From One Crazy House:

Clever Baby Closet Organization Ideas

15 Baby Tips You Wish Your Mom Friends Had Told You

15 Totally Genius Ways to Organize Baby Clothes

How to Organize a Baby Room

The post The BEST Baby Hacks Every New Mom Needs appeared first on DIY House Hacks - One Crazy House.

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/the-best-baby-hacks-every-new-mom-needs

Single life - the good and the bad.

The good and bad sides to single life. It absolutely has both, as does everything in life. There seems to be some kind of war between singles and coupled folk, as if they are trying to get one up on each other, to prove that their life is considerably ‘better’ than their opponents.

This bothers me. It bothers me because life isn't that rigid or consistent, life moves, and so do all of our situations. There is also the need to consider that people are so different, you know the saying, “one mans treasure” and all that. For some, my single life is their idea of a worst knight mare, simile, a nuclear family at the age of 25 would be mine.

Its nothing personal I guess, I think its just taken that way when people try and force their way of life on you, or assume you are miserable because you haven't got what they have, this goes without saying the people that straight up judge you for whatever your life circumstance - they can do one (and my oh my, there are many of them!). There are definitely times for me where being single is actually epic and others where it actually sucks balls.

I will share them with you. Bad points... Lack of touch. This one is strange for me, because I haven't been touched for so long, that Ive grown used to it, yet I still crave it from time to time (usually in the winter). BUT if I ever do get touched or if someone tried to hug me or something, it weirds me out now, that I find it unnecessary because I have gone so long without it!. Its definitely made me less affectionate and less expectant to receive affection. That part of me has kind of died.  I think I have associated touch / affection to do with only a partner - which is bad. (lets just say I am no longer a ‘hugger’) 

You also become very observant. All the “Netflix and chills” / “lets cuddle up on the sofa”, comments you so often see on social media or hear among all your coupled up friends and family members (yes I am pretty much the only single one left out of friends and family - which I will mention later on as its an issue in itself!) are a little punch in the heart. You kind of become a little bit bitter that some people have that certain someone that they can come and hug after a really shit day - and how some really take that for granted. Little things are so huge and not many people get that. I think that the people that have had a real good amount of time of being single understand this. Love is not something you are owed, but for some it just falls in their laps and they have never had to live life coping on their own. (You definitely get annoyed at people who take love for granted and people who cheat etc!) But - being deprived of something makes you learn to live without it - its a educational, saddening yet strengthening double edged sword. I cant even remember what snuggling up to a man feels like and they say that touch is actually something that humans need and that it releases the ‘feel good’ hormone - perhaps lack of touch does really do things to humans?. I believe so. Feeling Safe. Now, I think in my whole relationship / dating life, only one man made me feel safe and it was wonderful. Im not saying that women can not feel safe without a man - absolutely not. But there is something so damn sexy and reassuring when you can actually feel a mans strength (in his body and mind) and you know he has your back. When you walk down the street, you know there will be no shit from no one, as you are with him. That when you're in his arms - you feel completely and utterly safe, it makes you feel so feminine. Nothing can get you, and you breathe a sigh of relief, thats all is well, because you are there, with him.  I miss that, even if just for a minute I could have that again. All of your family and friends are pretty much hooked up. Gone are the days of going out and flirting with a group of guys, because all of your mates are at home with their others half's sucking dick or fanny. This also adds to the struggles of trying to ‘get out there’ as you’d be on the prowl alone - not attractive. When all your mates hook up, it kills your social life too, I miss the nights of going out dressed up all girly, dancing the night away and flirting / kissing with drunken guys.

There is no one to talk to when you have those ‘Im feeling crappy about being single’ moments because no one gets it because no one is in your situation. You will also never get a break from being surrounded by couples, family gatherings = couples everywhere, meeting with friends = couples everywhere. You have to become accustomed to always being the third, forth and fifth wheel when with family and friends. There was once a New Years Eve party where at midnight, everyone was obviously eating face and there I was - twat face, the only single person sat there hating my existence and wallowing in self pitty. (Holidays are the WORST for being single) This is not to say I dont love my friends and family but sometimes you just wish you had some single pals to break away from the constant reminders or someone to really open up to and that they understand, its tiring to always put on this brave face when really you just want to say you feel like shit. Theres also the chance coupled friends will get offended if you need to vent about always being the single one - its not personal, sometimes we just need to express ourselves. Sometimes you just wonder if you are destined to live life solo Perhaps it isn't happening because its not supposed to?, that you are actually happier alone?. Its happened to everyone else so easily so there must be a reason its not happening to you?. To you, its like climbing mount everest, yet to most, its as easy as 1,2,3!. That in the time you have been single, others have gone through about 3 relationships that have started, ended and then they have found ‘the one’ and got married, yet you cant even find A date?. Am I an alien? I must be doing everything wrong?. The longer it goes on for the more convinced you become that it will never happen and you kind of begrudgingly, make peace with it and stop trying and just live your own life. Confidence Sometimes, only sometimes you wonder what is wrong with you and that you are just not fanciable / fuckable / loveable. Those thoughts can fuck off - Im fucking awesome. You get so good at being single that you think you'd be crap at relationships The thought of having to share a bed with someone makes you want to die. What if they snore?. What If Im ill and I just need to do smelly farts all night and toss and turn without worrying that Im going to keep someone awake? What if I want a wank and I cant because THEY are there?! Omg would that mean we would have to arrange shower times in the morning?, Im not fucking sharing a shower with him! Oh man imagine someone constantly texting you even though you see them all the ruddy time? - just fuck off!. And having to see someone all the time?! Someone demanding my time from me? oh god I cant deal!. Gone would be the days of just going where ever I want without explaining myself to anyone! - Ive got too used to only thinking of me, Im too selfish to change that now! and whats more - ID HAVE TO FUCKING SHAVE AND GET MY BODY OUT. Man I’d be so shit at sex =\ and Id have to tell them I love them!. So. Many. Vulnerable. Feelings. Stay. Up. Walls!. Finance All those people who share bills, rent etc. Not everyone would have had an opportunity to move out if they didn't have their significant other, especially in this day and age of expense!. I can also say as a single person it is ruddy annoying having to cash out on everyone else's other half's / kids etc. Whereas presents for you are ‘from both of us’. My single life benefits everyone else's pockets when it comes to christmas! GAH!.  I get SO JEALOUS when I hear someone say that their other half is picking them up from work or cooking for them that night, I WISH I had that!. Fuck buses, walking the dog then having to cook for myself - food NEVER comes for single people, just try getting a bag of spinach for one! so much waste!. Good Points... My Flange is probably really tight  Its so out of use its like its brand new. I dont have to shave for anyone and it is marvellous.  I dont have to get my body out to worry what someone else thinks of it, nor do I have to worry if Im up the duff (although I use precautions, that worry is ALWAYS there, wondering, freaking the hell out, wondering when my period will ever come etc). Its a worry that is brilliant to not have to think about - nor do I have to think about the ruddy pill (no thanks!). Also - self service! =P Your independence and strength will sky rocket You really dont understand how some people freak out when they have to do things alone. For you, doing things alone is such an adventure / enjoyable experience. Yes I go out to dinner, the cinema, weekend breaks alone and its not weird my dears. I love how I can plan anything at anytime. Your strength builds up and up when your doing everything for yourself and it is really liberating and you realise that people that also have this quality are very rare. It makes you very strong and independent and independent people are sexy. =p You are as free as a bird - go fly!. I do what I want and I can order pizza at 3am and eat it in bed if I wish. (what a plan!). I could go travel for months on end if I wanted, I could move to a completely new place and chat up randomers if I so wished too and answer to no one. I could shave all my hair off and pork a load of girls just for fun. Learn a new instrument / get a hobby / go to evenings classes etc - because you CAN. I hear friends who have kids say how they would love to do the smallest of things like have a night to themselves, to go to the cinema or just go shopping, and I realise that I too, take small things for granted and I need to embrace my single life more.  What I do is completely my choice and my choice alone - no hold backs. It feels so good. Finance Yes there is a factor of finance on this side of the spectrum! Your money is YOURS. Go spend a butt load on a new jacket if you want. Go spend £70 on a hair cut if you want. Whats more, you save money on not having to buy hair removal stuff! No birthday or christmas presents on your other half - or dates, or nothing! Save up that spare cash and do something worth while - like get tattoos all over your body ;P - priorities darling, that is YOU! =P. You have control of your own wellbeing One of the biggest issues for me when in relationships / seeing someone was how their actions / treatment towards me effected my wellbeing. I hated that they had so much power to hurt me because my feelings for them were so deep. I hated being so vulnerable and how my happiness was so reliant on how they chose to treat me. With single life problems, they are mostly what you have brought upon yourself, and sorting your own shit out makes you stronger and not dealing with someone else's bullcrap is a breath of fresh air =) So, these are some of my good and bad points, I really could have gone on for forever!. My unshaven flange enjoys parts, and doesn't with other parts. I want to say that its completely human to have weak times about things - like wanting to be hugged sometimes does not make you needy! (I hate that theres so much name calling for humans wanting to be humans!) Whats your favourite thing and hate about your relationship status? Be back soon. Jay Monster.