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aestheticallyunaesthetic17 · 3 years

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100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

#100 things about me #questions #100 questions

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nami-writes · 3 years

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*inhale*

OKAY ITS 11:26 PM AND I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT I BINGED THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIES TODAY AND ALSO WATCHED MOCKINGJAY PT 2 FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT PEETA

*exhale*

okay so first off i just wanna say mockingjay pt 2 is 100% my fave thg movie simply bc of the ANGST

all i could think about while i was watching it was how GOOD the mf fanfiction would be

like,,,,, the descriptions of trauma and pain and hurting and healing and his reasons for being homicidal and the panic attacks he probably has and oh my god im gonna die

like peeta’s ENTIRE character arc in that movie is just. healing from trauma and i literally Cannot i love angst

like?? just think of him getting to 13 and hearing katniss’s voice in that room and his heartbeat spikes and fear floods thru him and he knows something bad is coming and he’s gonna be hurt bc he’s always hurt when she’s involved and he’s not restrained, he can make the first move, he has to make the first move or she’ll hurt him again

or being strapped down to the bed in that observation room, pulling and straining and struggling in his restrains, just trying desperately to escape bc he’s in a building with katniss and he’s scared and afraid and alone and vulnerable and if he doesnt get out he never will

or being taken to the other district where katniss and her squad are, muttering “my name is peeta mellark, i’m from district 12,” over and over bc if he doesn’t he’ll forget again, he’ll forget who he was and who he now has to be again and he cant forget again or the handcuffs will stay on and he’ll never be trusted and he’ll never be truly safe, not when nobody there knows who he is anymore, not even himself

or trying to test the waters, talking to katniss despite every instinct in him telling him it’s unsafe, she’s unsafe, and finnick telling him that if he’s unsure about his memories he can just ask, and it’s such a simple solution but it was so easily overlooked until he was told about it bc the thought never even crossed his mind that maybe they might be willing to help and maybe they aren’t as bad as he thought

or listening to the sound of gunfire from the pod as he crouches behind the wall with strangers he has to trust with his life, but his eyes are glassy and his heart’s racing but he can’t even feel it bc all he can focus on is the gunfire, how he listened to gunfire just like it kill innocent people in the capital, innocent prisoners, some of which he knew but most of which didn’t seem to have anyone and all of which died at the hands of snow and peacekeepers, a fate he was threatened with constantly before and after he sat in the furthest corner of his cell, trying to cover his ears and muffle the guns and the screams and banging his head on the wall in a feeble attempt to die, just die, just let me die already

or running from that black goop chasing them and his survival instincts kick in and all he can think about is surviving, he has to survive, he needs to survive, even if it’s at the cost of someone else’s life, and he doesn’t feel in control of himself at all when he watches himself grab the nearest person and drag him to the ground, throw him into the sea of black to die before somebody restrains him and he’s dragged inside only to be tranquilized like a rabid dog, like an animal, because at that point, it’s practically all he is

or fighting the sewer monster things and seeing katniss being attacked and for just a moment, considering not helping her because all that matters is that he survives this, but he snaps out of it just enough to drag it off of her and divert its attention to attacking him instead and he’s panicking because he just saved her and he thinks she’s left him to die, he can’t keep it at bay for much longer and he’s going to die because nobody else here cares about him, katniss is the only one who’d even bother to try and help him, and then finnick kills it and saves his life but that only makes his screams echo in his head when he doesn’t make it

or running in the underground parking lot(?) and just barely making it and he’s just barely keeping himself from murdering someone again and then he just can’t find it in him to keep going, can’t find any reason to keep going when all he is is a liability because he can’t even be trusted, he can’t even not get someone killed, finnick died because of him and he’s so fucked up he has homicidal urges that he’s just barely able to stop himself from acting on and there’s no point in him going on anymore, there’s no point in him living anymore

or sitting with katniss and asking her to handcuff him because although he doesn’t want to be vulnerable, he doesn’t want to be the reason another person dies and they treat him so well, better than he’d been treated in so long, and it just isn’t fair that what they get in return for that is a murderous, broken man, and he’d rather be cuffed than be a danger to the people who barely know him and yet have been so kind that they’ve kept him alive and haven’t even hurt him at all for how little he contributes

or talking to gale, remembering gale’s history with katniss and that he himself has no chance with her, not with gale, not when she’d obviously choose her childhood best friend over him, and he can’t deny to himself that he’s afraid gale thinks he’s a threat because he’d be completely vulnerable to him if he wanted to just kill him, only to be told that gale thinks the opposite and that he has no chance with peeta, but although it does give him a little hope, it also gives him guilt because he knows gale deserved her far more than he ever would

oh my GOD the potential angst hurts

but it’s been almost an hour since i started writing this and now my headcanons are written down so i’m gonna try to actually sleep lmao

if i ever write this shit its gonna have a LOTTA feels and i am gonna be LIVING for it

#thg #im listening to dusk till dawn to this rn #and the vibes are very fitting #and i am going to sleep with lotsa angst in my brain #headcanons #fangirling #thg peeta

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littlelittleticklishboy · 4 years

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0. Tylers tickle torture

Here it is: My first ever expierence with tickling hope you like it

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(WARNING: this story contains explicit content. 18+ only please.)

“Backstory: i was around 18 years old when i first spoke to Mike. We had alot of great convos and had an very good connection with each other. After like 2/3 months of chatting the moment was finally there. After a 4 hour train ride i was about to meet the man who was planning on torturing my entire body”

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*March 11 2018*

“It was the day. Mike and i will meet at his hometown in the south of the Netherlands. He picked me up with his car and we drove like 15 minutes to his house

(A piece of the conversation we had in the car before the session.)

M=Mike

T= me

M: “Soo.... you have never been tickled by someone ever?”

T= No i have not.. Well i got tickled a lot when i was a kid but that was just playful. I dont even know if im still as ticklish as i remember.

”M= Yes i can understand that but for now: here are a few things you need to remember.

. I only put on on the cuffs if you did not say no later than 15 minutes. If you want me to continue just say nothing and i will tie you dowb to your hands and feet

2. When you cant take it anymore you can yell the word RED. Thats my cue i have to stop

3. When you dont like something just say it i dont bite :)

T= “That will be alright” (god i hope he does not see that i am so nervous.

M= (This little boy is so scared i hope he enjoys it. *We went upstairs to the guest room he says to me*

“Good now you can sit on the edge of the bed firt and take your shoes and socks of” *I did what the man asked and i went sitting on the edge of the bed. Mike was sitting next to me asking*: “You ready? “I think so..”

*The moment of truth, let the game begin*

*Mike started to stroke his fingers over my upper body. I started laughing. not very later and he said to me: “Soo you said on our chat you were not sensitive!!” “Yeah i know” “Well if you want “we could do...” “ Tie me down the bed” “You sure?” “Yes!”

*He grabs the cuffs and attached two of the ends to the bed legs*. “just lie on your back i will do the rest. *I took my place on the bed and started to inhaling and exhaling very deep. I felt that he was putting my hands in the cuffs and closing them. Then he put my feet in cuffs so now i could not move at all. Suddenly i wasn’t so sure about me surviving this* “Well here we go buddy” like Hell and heaven at the same time He starts dancing his fingers on my torso. This leaded to a few grins but i was holding down my breath not to burst into laughter. It was to soon. Mike already saw that his victim was manning up so he could not see that the little boy was indeed ticklish. He starts spidering his fingers into my armpit and believe me that I survived 5 seconds without laughing. Then i broke down and started to laugh. The sound became harder and harder And i only could look in eyes of Mike* I was looking at mike who had a very big sadistic smile on his face. Besides me being in hell right now made that smile less hard*

Suddenly mike stopped And walked to his closet “What are you doing?” “Oh just grabbing some things to make things a little bit harder. I saw that in his left hand he holds 2 toothbrushes. In the other hand was a blindfold.

“can you see me? Now you cant!!” *He puts on the blindfold on before my eyes and I was just laying there in fear “But first how about making you feel a lit more comfy here”

He grabbed my T-shirt and pulled it over my head Quick untying the cuff to get rid of the shirt. In a flash i was hearing his voice from From very close to my head* “still not comfy? Well i can do this maybe it will help” He unbuttoned the top center button of my jeans revealing a little bit of my pink boxer*

”Sowhere were we? Oh yes i know already”

*I heard that something was flickering on and he hears a loud buzz coming near me . Suddenly i felt an extreme explosion resulting in more than 100 different feelings. I started to scream but i did not help. I started to beg that didn’t help either. I just have to face this. I wanted to keep my saveword for when im needing it the most i was thinking . About 5 minutes later Mike turned of the toothbrushes and let me have a sip of my drink.

*About 5 minutes later he puts me back into the cuffs and started to squeeze his fingers on my nipples It was actually never pleased by someone like that and i kind of enjoyed it. I started to relax and let out a small moan.

*He continued to pleasure me and i feel that im getting exited. Mike sees that as well and he pulls down my pink boxer revealing my rock hard pole. “You will like this little game we will play right now” *says he with a big smile on his face* i will make you cum but if you do i will tickle you for 10 minutes straights deal?” “Deal!”

*He puts some lotion and starts gliding his fist up and down my pole. My breath becomes deeper and deeper and im in total happiness. He speeds up and before i know it i burst*

“Well now on to our deal” *He says. He flips me over so that im laying on my stomach. He puts a piece of tape on my mouth and sets a timer.* “Ready? Set? Go!”

*When the timer starts counting i feel his fingers racing on my whole body. I scream and scream but you cant hear my because of the tape. My whole body is damped from the sweat and after 6 minutes I completely lost my mind. I started to cry and kick but Mike is laying on my back so i cant move an inch. After The 10 minutes had past he finally stopped and i fall into a deep sleep.

*The next morning we chatted about Yesterday and i was ready to take te train back home, completely exhausted i reached the station so i could start my 5 hour(!!!) trip back. We looked at each other and said: “See you next time” *I walked to my train and when i took a seat the only thing i could think of was “Yes im a ticklefreak!!”

_________________________________________

*Note*

It was very very VERY fun to think back about this story. It was the best day of my life and made me realize i like and i will always like being tickled. Sharing this story feels absolutely right and i hope you guys had a lot of fun reading it!

#boy #tickle #tickled #tickleforever #ticklefic #tickling #ticklee #tickler #realllifetickling

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no-no-no-ahhhh · 4 years

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I'm having bad anxiety so I'm just going to answer these questions rn

Okay so when having anxiety I over think and I barely have any friends so I thought if using these questions to keep my mind off things and it kinda works it's also why some are long because I'm trying my best to think about other things then my stress. Maybe some of yall can try this if you want. Could help idk

Questions belong to @tr33-g1rl

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Soda cans

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

I LOVE chocolate bro

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy because let's all be honest bubble gum doesn't even tast good so that just leaves texture and cotton candy dissolves abs you could always have normal gum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Some would say nice hard working smart and dyslexic but that's what they say not actually think

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I've never really had the soda bottles but for now Ig soda cans because I feel like it keeps it fresher then the plastic and plastic is bad

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Umm out of all these ig tomboy my style that I try to go for more rn is kinda like bille eyelash baddie style

7. earbuds or headphones?

Def earbuds cuz headphones if left on too long start hurting and squeezing my head

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows 100% I cant consum media for long (my anxiety)so cartoons are the best for me because they're usually 11 minutes and light hearted

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Hmm this is good question in my head summer looks so good ahh but I've never really had a sent for it cuz the past few years I've been in my room but I love the sun oh and you know when your about to go in the pool and you can smell the Clorox mixed with the sun block and that smell just smells like a soft nice energy and there is this one tropical sent havent really smelt it in years I remember the one time I got to smell it was in middle school in the girls locker room so ig it was a perfume idk if it was really associated with summer or it was just tropical perfume my mom could spray on anytime of the year

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Lol none I hated p.e I was also pretty tall at the time so people expected me to play but I just wanted to hide in the corner

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Well I don't really like breakfast that much I think food in the morning makes me nauseous but I have to eat it cuz I can't eat school lunch food cuz that shit is nasty but breakfast school food is 😉 so I usually get banana bread and good ass duch chocolate milk

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Por Vida is one of my favorite albums if that counts

13. lanyard or key ring?

I hate things being around my neck so key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Mexican candy

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The outsiders

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Your butt relaxing ig and not hunched over idk how some people do their work not hunched over like how do you see what your working on

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

These white Adidas with 3 halo strips and tan boots

18. ideal weather?

To wear you can soak in the sun but not have it burn you right when you go outside and kinda breezy not a fan of the cold and whatever weather that isn't effected by global warming is the best

19. sleeping position?

I always try not to sleep on my back cuz then they say that the demons come for you

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

I have a lot of journals and books to write

21. obsession from childhood?

My little pet shops, barbies, fnaf, teen titans, monster high dolls, beanie babes, never brats or the ever after high dolls cuz I had a fear of big heads as a kid

22. role model?

Em their are not many people to look up to these days but Quenlin Blackwell is even though she struggles with depression and seasonal depression she still is a qween love her

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

Hmm maybe amethyst one of the only ones I have

25. first song you remember hearing?

No idea

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Be in the sun

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Not have the seasonal depression come for me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade bro tea is kinda weak and for BrItish blocks , but today I did have a bunch of lemons and they got me sick cuz I dont have a healthy balanced diet if anybody knows simple healthy recipes that have little to no cooking pls share

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

I've never actually have had lemon pie but I have been thinking about making pie. I've had peacon pie and water burger apple pie and McDonald's apple pie and I think another fast food pie but I can't remember the flavor. I know the other flavor exist because my mom order a different pie flavor from me once and she said we can both try each others. Maybe it was lemon. I think lemon tast is quit forgettable thow idk I always put other things on my lemon and lemonade has all that sugar and speaking of Britain I think they carbonate their lemons . But I think I've only had lemon cake 2 times , so if the cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

School is lame and that's on period pooh

41. last person you texted?

Umm this girl I barely know and I'm going to leave it at that cuz this story makes me kinda sad and worried and I'm answering these questions to avoid that

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Hmm good question , I think jacket because they are bigger and girl Jean's have the pockets different to make the booty look better and sometimes that leads to uncomfortable pockets and front pockets barely exit for girls and jackets sometimes have those secret pockets only you have assess too like the ones on the inside and jacket pockets are bigger

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

1. hoodies are good for when you dont have a bra on and they come with one BIG pocket and you dont need to worry about a shirt

2. Leather jackets are for cool kidz and carry a nice vibe and still thick enough to keep you warm , but you can't really get them wet I think so you can't wash em , but they can come with cool designs on the back but their better fitted on perfectly on a person and if you grow they just look odd on you then you have to buy another and that's not fun

3.Bomber jacket , it's a whole style but one I try to pull of but just cant do it well

4.Cardigans kinda umm not a fan but good if your wearing a dress that's shows your shoulders and you are insecure about that being shown. Remember when somewhere in the 2000s they told us that cardigans where so easy to put on and throw more into your outfit so people bought quit a few. I do

5.I feel like jeans jackets aren't warm enough maybe their more for the summer?

44. favorite scent for soap?

Hmm maybe something tropical or just those cool lavender ones that have oats that's cool I like oats in my soap

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

I hate sci-fi uhhhg and super hero kinda ties in with that so fantasy and when reading fan fic just sweet simple domestic fluff

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Hmm not sure but the shirt has to be soft. I only experience soft shirts like that few times in my life

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mexican cheese and blue cheese uhg and mozzarella with that crust, yum🤤

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Errrum maybe a watermelon cuz they are very hydrated. Oh and watermelon with the big black seeds is better then that soul less watermelon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

None dawg I really need to find one but I do have a lot written down In a book

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Omg my aunt had some funny looking ass dogs I couldn't stop laughing. One of her dogs hate me tho now

51. current stresses? I dont want to talk about it cuz I dont want to worry but I was crying for more then 6 hours probably 8 when I think about it and then today as well and it's so bad I'm not even going to school

52. favorite font? I like the one kali uchis uses in one of her albums I think it's called fairy tell or something

53. what is the current state of your hands?pretty dry cuz I wash them alot and kinda long nails cuz of genetics

54. what did you learn from your first job?

I havent had a first job

55. favorite fairy tale?

Hmmm something with the tooth fairy

56. favorite tradition?

Idk holidays cuz I get school off

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Depression and I would say anxiety but no

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I dont have any talents

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Uuuuyg idk too stressed to really think that I dont even know what type of video game I would be in

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

nothing stressful maybe something calm like a farm anime, some light magic, pokemon things like that

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

I was never ment to live life like a sim - megan the stallion

62. seven characters you relate to?

Anybody with anxiety, kinda pearl from Steven universe, the nerdy part of dipper from gravity falls , Roman from sander sides if virgil too sense he has anxiety okay and that's all I can think of I think early I said I dont really watch media or stuff so yeah

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Gosolina kali uchis songs and bank account that's all I can think about rn

64. favorite website from your childhood?64. favorite website from your childhood?

Y8 brooo oh and there was Disney or Nickelodeon websites you know that show with the hands and they had the googly eyes they had a g as new for that loved it and for Disney they had zack and cody games on their website and it's not a website but the one thing on windows that would work without wifi you know and you could make cakes and give them faces and try matching the cards

65. any permanent scars?

One time a cat scratched me more the like 8 years ago and I can still faintly see the mark

66. favorite flower(s)?

The one that grows on the cactus

67. good luck charms?

I know a rabbits foot is one and 4 leaf clovers,and markipliers flannel. I sadly dont have any personal good luck charms

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I don't want to talk about bad foods rn cut the cameras

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

idk I think I can vaguely remember every facts orgin that I know

70. left or right handed?

Basic right handed but my dad used to be left but then the school forced him to be right

71. least favorite pattern?

Anything 80s uhg that shit is disgusting and terrifying

72. worst subject?

Chemistry but I just got out of that so that's fun

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

People day hot cheetos and sour cream is odd but I like it . I would wat some rn but I think I got sick cuz of my poor diet so I'm not. Someone pls suggested simple easy foods for your girl who can cook

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

1 I am big baby

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I dont know

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Tater tots are good and fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Idk no green thumb

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Idk ig coffee

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Theirs a difference?

82. pc or console?

Console it's just simpler

83. writing or drawing?

Uhhheg ig drawing I'm bad at grammar

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcast, podcast are just more plans out then talk radio and talk radio is a morning thing and I'm not the biggest fan of mornings

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairy tales mythology kinda ruff ya know

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies their just more sturdy and their is always normal cake

87. your greatest fear?

Tooo many things and I'm having an anxiety attack right now so like no

88. your greatest wish?

Well it's cute and all idk to live peacefully is one part the other parts a secret for now

X.o.x.o gossip girl ya know ya love me

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Umm maybe myself Idk

90. luckiest mistake?

One time my mom ordered a foam sord for my brother and a real one came. It was some anime sword

91. boxes or bags?

Bags cuz they look cute and you can take em every where with you. Disposable I would have to say boxes tho because its less damaging to the environment

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight is so warm and it fills something inside of me makes me feel cozy

Lamps are great for when sleeping and your scared of the dark

Fairy lights are cute but are they neccessary

Overhead lights are good for when you just need light in your life

Am I the only one who gets sad and sometimes cant clean if it's dark in the house?

94. favorite season?

Summer I think. I know it's harder for me to function in the winter cuz depression but then summer is anxiety sometimes ya know

95. favorite app on your phone?

Littetly no idea I don't really love/like the things on my phone if their more distractions or time wasters but I do love how I can search up useful things on YouTube to try to calm down my anxiety and I was definitely not a fan of tumblr at all but I kind have made it my safe place a bit

96. desktop background?

Well the computers my dad's so it has deadpool on i

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Barely 2 ,I am kinda a dummy sorry unggv

98. favorite historical era?

Well idk heehaww cowboys?

#trifle utters #misspelling because ya girls pretty stressed #im just trying to cope rn so dont cap on me

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1112lw · 5 years

Note

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official @ace-landofthesun @dorkalisious and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

#Arche.txt #asks #ask #long post

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trans-jacka-nope · 5 years

Text

Day 28

12.27.2018

Ok technically the morning after but i forgot again.

Did my shot last night at a friends house. Im not sure what happened but im gonna be real, i wasnt in the best head space despite having a good day. Im not 100% sure why but i got moody after i was done working and got to our friend’s house. Probably because i hadnt eaten much all day. (I deal with an on-and-off eating problem and digestive problems that sometimes makes me eat less than i need but thats a whole different thing)

I felt better after we ate and played video games for a bit but the moody episode did leave me a little tired. But i still wanted to do my shot because one of our friends wants to be on it too some day and i thought it would be beneficial for him. Turns out he isnt even afraid of needles lol

But i guess doing my usual fear on top of the mood swings on top of being at someone else’s house and skipping last week was too much. I broke down, cried, and had to ask my gf for help. They had to do the shot for me and i honestly feel like a failure. Ive done the shots before so this one being so hard was really frustrating. It took me an hour to finally ask for help.

Im grateful for supportive friends and gf. I hope next week goes by better. Its not fun thinking about possibly stopping just because of the needle. I cant do any of the alternatives for a variety of reasons. I know this is what i want. Imposter syndrome did try to settle in last night. What if this isnt what i actually want? What if im just doing this for attention? What if im just wasting my time and money doing this? If i stop i wont have to use a needle anymore. Etc...

But i know i was just having a depressive episode last night. Even despite having a good day, it snuck up on me. Im sorry to my friends and partner. I will try better next week...

#hormone replacement therapy #hrt #testosterone #trans #trans guy #ftm #afab

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nightcoremoon · 6 years

Text

Callout post: me

lying, manipulative, hold grudges, constantly paranoid, would absolutely 100% check out a teenager if nobody was looking because "it's a harmless crime", liar, cycle through idealization and devaluation, 'sick of fat people trying to be the next civil rights issue and making it that much harder to get civil rights for people who are ACTUALLY oppressed like gee idk poc and muslims and the mentally ill and queer people', frequently fantasizes about committing violent acts against people I rationalize they deserve it including family members, untruthful, attention whore, pedantic AND pretentious, tells lies, doesn't believe in one sister's claim of sexual assault (went to smoke weed with the alleged perpetrator), UNAPOLOGETICALLY AGAINST ASEXUAL EXCLUSIONISM (LITERALLY FUCK YOU DUMBASS FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS WHO SHRIEK THAT QUEER IS A SLUR, SHUT YOUR GODDAM FUCKING WHORE MOUTHS YOU DUMBASSES AND GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE OR READ A BOOK), would absolutely punch a child over an insignificant internet argument, secretly sought out sexual pleasure from two friendly seemingly platonic encounters with two girls I just met within twenty four hours, overreacts to the slightest provocations and has bitches at or vagueposted at several people who did not deserve it, has used mental illness and physical handicap to evade trouble from being late for work because video games and laziness and excessive sleep, has spent maybe a thousand dollars on fast food in 2018 alone, evades bills for medical care from an actually great clinic, lying sack of garbage, gave up on calling out family's bigotry and is now an accessory to prejudice, despises terfs predominantly for their refusal to fuck me because of being trans and yet meanwhile would not engage in sexual relationship with another trans woman or cis man unless reeeeeeeeally drunk, can and will blame being sexually assaulted as a child which probably didn't even happen because I don't think I remember it, unabashed furry, probably as addicted to video games and masturbation AND LIES as I almost was to alcohol, pretended to have almost been an alcoholic just to "win" facebook arguments about addiction, doesn't give a fuck my dad almost died from heroin JUST because he's a *little* homophobic and racist and classist and xenophobic because of a christian upbringing, would literally fucking murder him if he EVER PUTS HIS HANDS ON ME AGAIN, only slightly depressed because of laziness and a lack of drive and ungrateful to my family because hey they didn't kick me out for being trans so HEY THATS SUPPORTIVE ENOUGH FOR SOME OTHER PEOPLE SO WHY CANT I BE HAPPY WITH THAT, legitimately salty about ~the friendzone~ and just makes fun of incels because everybody else does, takes the moral high ground for not being a misogynist even though I don't deserve a pat on the back a lap dance and a blowjob for not hating women, overly sensitive about stupid things, thinking about faking having a trigger warning for more discourse credit, HUUUGE ASSHOLE to men I deem unattractive for no other reason than every single ugly fat guy I've ever met has been an asshole, rationalizes it after the fact because they eventually say something shitty because all men are terrible, probably a little bit of a cisnormative misandrist because trans men tend to be much better people, finds trans men attractive (specifically and significantly more so than cis men) so must clearly be fetishizing them, relatively okay with people referring to me as deadnamed and the wrong pronouns so probably just lying about being trans to everyone including myself, not 100% okay with the hijab for 'no reason other than all organized religion is evil and opposed to its mandate and the shame it forces on many women in many situations the exact same way I'm opposed to no sex before marriage and wives being subservient to their husbands and treating women as property in the torah and quran alike because ITS ALL BRAINWASHING' so is clearly not unlearning islamophobia and doesn't want to let that go, hypocrite because I believe in the basics of judeochristianity

and loathe atheism and atheists entirely because their smugness and smarm literally sets my blood pressure through the roof of what is safe and normal and yet claim to hate all organized religion, mansplains yet gets so pissed off when other people mansplain to me, judgmental of other cultures because they don't have the exact same values that I have, james gunn apologist, talks and talks and talks about anarchosocialism all damn day but would beat the shit out of a coworker for leaving me to do things because they're lazy because "any job worth doing is worth doing well" and other capitalismisms, literally couldn't give less of a fuck that his mother is dying because people die but it's no reason to make my life slightly harder and making me work hard when I work because BOO HOO MY LEGS HURT FROM THE LITERALLY MOST MILD CASE OF MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY I COULD'VE BEEN BORN WITH, hasn't actually performed real suicide attempt ever but still claims to have done so to attain sympathy that may result in physical affection, countless other shitty terrible things that yeah I recognize are bad but CANT SEEM TO CARE BECAUSE I HAVE DEPRESSION... WHICH IS THE WEAKEST FUCKING EXCUSE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD

I am not a good person, okay?

I just pretend to be sometimes.

I'm sick of doing it, I'm sick of trying to do well and earn people's approval by doing and saying the right things only to just be ignored which is a step up from receiving many anons that hey, never actually told me to kill myself, but did take my words out of context to paint me as a racist. I am not the kind of racist who would vote for trump and march with the kkk. that is one of very few good things I can say about myself. but I'm an arrogant, violent, and angry opinionated perverted manipulative judgmental lying asshole. I'm not a good person. I have let myself fall so much and I deserve to be alone. my only connections to people were built on personal gain and I swear to myself that I do love them but those feelings fall away in direct correlation to how much they interact with me. I could love you to the point of obsession and stalking and one month later be completely and totally disinterested. I'm a bigot who pretends to not be bigoted and just parrots what other people say not because I believe it but because it's the right thing to say, and I only say what the right thing is to say because whenever I say a good thing something good will happen to me and if I say a bad thing something bad happens to me. it's all just self preservation, nothing else at all. but now I'm at the end of a road of just trying to do good and I'm alone. out of the only two friends that I can really say that I have left, one is far away and trapped in a guilt spiral that I caused by being too clingy, and the other has been behaving in a way my mind has decoded as defensive around me which makes sense as I have been very... the best way to describe it would be the way a dudebro incel interacts with any person who possesses a vagina/breasts but sneakier. in both relationships I've pushed my own wants and desires in extremis... I can't for the life of me recall the last time I have ever offered something in return other than my own company or paying for a meal at a restaurant or I guess transportation. and instead of sex I just want them to express even the slightest bit of intimate platonic physical affection towards me but that's still a lot to offer someone who has clearly expressed the existence of a sexual and maybe something near the realms of romantic in one of the cases physical attraction because for this aspec it's practically the same fucking thing.

and I've manipulated them to attain this goal. at this point my shit brain has considered just fucking going to town on my wrists with a razor blade to draw sympathy so that I'll get a hug or something beyond just a simply hello/goodbye, and finding a way to induce tears to concoct a sob story to reach the same end result, and one time very briefly via threat and intimidation so you can clearly see that I've gone far too into irredeemable territory. I've been playing and replaying cry of fear because it's just too similar to my own issues and the first ending where he just kills everyone he loves and then himself... I see me in that ending. and it scares me so much more than the sprinting screaming twitching one hit kill chainsaw guy ever will. I don't want that to be me, I want to change something, but I just can't get the help that I need. I had hoped to go for a domino effect, where if I could be cuddled for like five minutes or something, I'd have the energy to be more hygienic, which would make me feel capable enough to take on two jobs, which would get me the cash flow I need to pay my bills and take care of my hormones, which would put me in the headspace necessary to effectively use psychological help, which would let me get over my illnesses and actually become a more successful person instead of the pathetic husk I am here in non-fantasy land.

but that won't happen.

I'm just sitting here in the dark angsting about how nobody will touch me in a way that would produce oxytocin, and it's making me so sick, so physically sick, that it's affecting my brain too. I'm in pain, nauseous, vengeful, spiteful, paranoid, judgmental, and lonely. I'm stuck and I can't even kill myself because my mind wants me to stay alive and suffer through all of this because "oh it gets better" people have been saying that for well over half of my life. I was six or seven years old when I asked my mother to kill me, and that same level of desperation and bitterness has only gotten worse as time goes by. when does it get better? I'll tell you when it gets better, after I'm in prison or comatose or forty five years old with a cane and bad eyes and high blood pressure and lung cancer from all the secondhand smoke I've breathed in my life. when my life is over, that's when it gets better. I DONT WANT THAT. I WANT A NORMAL FUCKING LIFE RIGHT NOW. I WANT NORMAL FRIENDSHIPS AND A NORMAL HOME AND A NORMAL EDUCATION AND A NORMAL CAREER AND A NORMAL FAMILY. or at least I want someone to hold me and make me feel like I'm not so horrible and broken that I can't be touched.

but that's too much to ask for.

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b0stonmanor · 6 years

Text

since yall kept fuckin asking heres 1-155. Go ahead and see how fucking lame I actually am

1: Full name: Madison Lyn (I’m not putting my last name on the internet lmao)

2: Age:19

3: 3 Fears: heights, elevators, being alone for the rest of my life

4: 3 things I love: cats, coffee, sleeping

5: 4 turns on: (I’m gonna make it nonsexual okay): body mods, humor, good vibes, nice laugh

6: 4 turns off: (gonna make these nonsexual too): rude, nasty, conceited, takes days to reply lmao

7: My best friend: girl: @bohoangel guy: @bostonnanner

8: Sexual orientation: pansexual

9: My best first date: haven’t had a best one yet, need someone to change that lmao

10: How tall am I: 5′8

11: What do I miss: lots of things and people both too many too name

12: What time was I born: 2:06am

13: Favourite color: blue

14: Do I have a crush: still crushin on my last man

15: Favourite quote: either some vine or “I’m here for a good time not a long time” I have way too many favs

16: Favourite place: my room, best friends house, or beach house

17: Favourite food: buffalo chicken or alfredo

18: Do I use sarcasm: of course not

19: What am I listening to right now: music ;)

20: First thing I notice in new person: smile

21: Shoe size: no

22: Eye color: hazel

23: Hair color: naturally brunette currently red

24: Favourite style of clothing: gothic, pop punk or hippie/boho

25: Ever done a prank call?: I havent personally

27: Meaning behind my URL: I needed to change my url of 8 years and I wanted something short and easy to remember but I also wanted it to be a band so it would fit my blog and surprisingly this one wasnt taken

28: Favourite movie: I have way too many

29: Favourite song: again way too many

30: Favourite band: AGAIN way too many

31: How I feel right now: I feel fucking exhausted

32: Someone I love: okay now Im sad

33: My current relationship status: okay NOW Im crying but single

34: My relationship with my parents: welp my dads dead and my mom and I are okay

35: Favourite holiday: Halloween or Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing I have: no tattoos yet and I have my nose pierced and first and second holes pierced on my ears

37: Tattoos and piercing I want: too many

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: I was 12 that should be enough

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: No. In fact I could never hate him and I dont think I’ll love anyone like I did/do him.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: eh sometimes

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? last text over imessage yes

42: When did I last hold hands?: I have no idea

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: I dont do anything really so not too long

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: dont out me

45: Where am I right now?: my room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: @bohoangel

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: both

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: mom

49: Am I excited for anything?: nah

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? @bostonnanner

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: eh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: I mean idc but it’d just be fucking weird cause they’re kissing in front of me

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: plenty of people lmao

55: What is something I disliked about today?: I’ll do yesterday since today hasnt really happened. But it was fathers day and my heart was hurting so bad cause I miss my dad more than anything and really wish he was still here

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: my fuckin soulmate bitch

57: What do I think about most?: in all honesty, my ex

58: What’s my strangest talent?: I can do this smile thing that nobody else can do and it makes me look like a frog

59: Do I have any strange phobias?: probably

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: in front

61: What was the last lie I told?: that I was a child of God

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: video chatting but I dont mind either

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: fuck yes and fuck yes

64: Do I believe in magic?: I’m a god damn witch bitch

65: Do I believe in luck?: I believe in karma

66: What’s the weather like right now? according to my phone its currently clear and 61 degrees

67: What was the last book I’ve read?: I have no idea

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: eh

69: Do I have any nicknames? Maddie, Mad, Mads

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?: I had a staph infection in my foot that went back and forth across my foot and then up my leg (doctor said if my mom didn’t bring me when she did I would’ve died cause it would’ve gone to my heart)

71: Do I spend money or save it?: spend it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? ye

74: Favourite animal?: cats

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: I have no idea

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: oh shit I’ve never thought of this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: good question

78: How can you win my heart?: Be Italian

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I honestly have no idea

80: What is my favorite word? bitch

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I get asked this way too much

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: probably some hippie bullshit

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: I’ve had relatives in jail but I dont think anyones in jail rn

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? theres too many lmao

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? probably if I’ve smoked or drank or have done anything bad but only if my mom was asking

86: What is my current desktop picture? its just basic

87: Had sex?: nah

88: Bought condoms?: nah

89: Gotten pregnant?: nah

90: Failed a class?: nah

91: Kissed a boy?: ye

92: Kissed a girl?: ye

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: nah

94: Had job?: ye

95: Left the house without my wallet?: ye

96: Bullied someone on the internet?: nah

97: Had sex in public?: nah

98: Played on a sports team?: ye

99: Smoked weed?: ye

100: Did drugs?: nothing hardcore just smoking weed

101: Smoked cigarettes?: nah

102: Drank alcohol?: ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: I’ve tried

104: Been overweight?: no answer

105: Been underweight? also no answer

106: Been to a wedding?: ye

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: ye

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: ye

109: Been outside my home country?: nah

110: Gotten my heart broken?: of course

111: Been to a professional sports game?: ye

112: Broken a bone?: ye

113: Cut myself?: ye

114: Been to prom?: ye

115: Been in airplane?: ye

116: Fly by helicopter?: nah

117: What concerts have I been to?: pink, metallica/volbeat, warped tour 2016,2017,2018, jingle ball, some birthday bash, I cant remember if I’ve been to any other ones lmao

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: not entirely

119: Learned another language?: not fully

120: Wore make up?: ye

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: I’m a child of god

122: Had oral sex?: nah

123: Dyed my hair?: ye

124: Voted in a presidential election?: not yet

125: Rode in an ambulance?: couldve a couple times but my parents decided to drive me

126: Had a surgery?: nah

127: Met someone famous?: I guess?

128: Stalked someone on a social network?: who doesnt do this

129: Peed outside?: ye

130: Been fishing?: ye

131: Helped with charity?: I think so

132: Been rejected by a crush?: who doesnt get rejected

133: Broken a mirror?: probably

134: What do I want for birthday?: lots of things

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?: I have no idea

136: Was I named after anyone?: No but I have the same middle name as my aunt

137: Do I like my handwriting?: ye

138: What was my favorite toy as a child?: I have no idea

139: Favorite Tv Show?: American Horror Story, Bob’s Burgers, The Office, or Drunk History

140: Where do I want to live when older?: New Hampshire

141: Play any musical instrument?: I can play the violin and piano and can also sing but idk if that counts lmao

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?: its barely noticeable but literally right under my left eye (like right at the edge of my dark circle lmao) I got attacked by a dog and it bit me in the face and I had to get stitches but I bitched out and had it glued instead lmao

143: Favorite pizza topping? cheese

144: Am I afraid of the dark?: depends where I am

145: Am I afraid of heights?: ye

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?:nah

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?: haha yeah

148: What I’m really bad at: everything

149: What my greatest achievements are: I fucking graduated from high school. Like I would never wish what I went through on anyone ever not even my worst enemy. It was worse than hell

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I honestly dont remember

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: lots of stuff

152: What do I like about myself: my eyebrows

153: My closest Tumblr friend: I cant say @bohoangel cause I’ve known her since 5th grade so I’ll say @bostonnanner even though we met on omegle years ago lmao

154: Something I fantasize about: lots of things

155: Any question you’d like?: literally whatever anyone wants to know

1 note · View note

identitycris1s · 3 years

Text

im back

hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...

work / school (?)

work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY

and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.

sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:)

anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??

idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.

ermmm relationships...???

i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)

i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??

for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?

anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))

but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.

i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh

on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.

i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.

on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....

anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!

EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes.

0 notes

thestaffofgrayson · 6 years

Note

1-100 for the unusual asks, you meme lord

Mmmmkay so I cant help being sassy but also wanna give a real answer so we gonna do this -> Anything in parenthesis is a real answer everything else is sass central station

1) Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Im a dank soundcloud rapper check out my soundcloud at nobodycares540.soundcloud.fuck (I dont really use any of em tbh)

2) is your room messy or clean? *glances over* clean (m e s s y)

3) what color are your eyes? All 16 of em are different colors actually (blue)

4) do you like your name? why? No because its not Jojo (Yes!!! Love the name Perrin gonna be honest)

5) what is your relationship status? *sets status to its complicated* you could say im a bit of a player (deathly single)

6) describe your personality in 3 words or less? Im sorry who? (Described meme lord)

7) what color hair do you have? Minecraft Steve Brown (Ver Ver Pink)

8) what kind of car do you drive? color? No I run like sonic next question (nope fuck driving fuck boulder)

9) where do you shop? Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (For what Next question)

10) how would you describe your style? Goku Black cosplay (Goku Black cosplay)

11) favorite social media account? The one with the Z U C C (Tumblr fuck snapchat)

12) what size bed do you have? Uuuummmmmmm my size OBVIOUSLY next questions (Dont know tbh queen maybe?)

13) any siblings? Little shit brother (thats not even a joke)

14) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Why this world fuck you what about mars (uuuuhhhhhh no idea gonna be honest)

15) favorite snapchat filter? Oh man! Love this one altho its not well known what ya gotta do is hit the delete button and when it asks if youre sure say yes :D (they change so often I dont pay attention)

16) favorite makeup brand(s)? Whatever it is Genji uses as eyeliner (dooont wear makeup)

17) how many times a week do you shower? I get clean by rolling around in the snow so maybe like 3 times a year (depends usually once a day with exceptions)

18) favorite tv show? I dont watch tv I AM the tv (The Office or if its Anime then Jojos Bizarre Adventure)

19) shoe size? M Y S I Z E (size 10)

20) how tall are you? hOWs ThE wEaTHEr dOwnTHeRe (5′9 - 5′11 somewhere in there)

21) sandals or sneakers? Gadget Shoes (legit those are cool but sneakers)

22) do you go to the gym? I think theeessseeee muscles speak for themselves (nope but I do martial arts)

23) describe your dream date Killing all mortals and achieving a state beyond that of a god (iiiii dont know I dont really see myself going on a date)

24) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Why do YOU wanna know (no really why tho)

25) what color socks are you wearing? Well I’m at home on the sofa playing sonic the hedgehog and typing up responses to an ask on tumblr that about 5 people are gonna see. That being said, Dragon Ball orange. (not wearing em but I have a fuzzy pair of polar bear socks my friend Ana sent me that I love!)

26) how many pillows do you sleep with? Wait what do you mean not everyone sleeps with 25 pillows are they mad? (One for my head, one on each side, smol pillow, pillow pet)

27) do you have a job? what do you do? I am assistant regional manager at a paper supply company named Dunder Mifflin. (Not currently but I’m gonna apply to Gamestop and Costco here soon)

28) how many friends do you have? Toooooooooooooo many I hate mortals (honestly I’m too lazy to try and count rn)

29) whats the worst thing you have ever done? Well I haven’t seen Mulan don’t call the cops (Iiiiiiii’m not sure I guess cheated on my Chinese final freshman year but hey I needed to pass that)

30) whats your favorite candle scent? V o i d (I dont use candles that much and I shooouuulld)

31) 3 favorite boy names Jo[seph] Jo[estar], Jo[taro Ku]jo, Jo[nathan] Jo[estar] (uuuuhhhh I like my name so it would be Perrin, Joji, Donovan)

32) 3 favorite girl names Jolyne Kujo there is no 2 and 3 (Jolyne yes I know but I actually really like the name, Perrin is also a girls name so, Milly)

33) favorite actor? Shrek from Shrek the musical (Robert Downey Jr and Chris pratt)

34) favorite actress? Taylor after she sasses me and acts like nothing happened (Millie Bobby Brown)

35) who is your celebrity crush? McCree (Matt Mercer)

36) favorite movie? UM IS THIS A QUESTION LIKE??? OBVIOUSLY THE SHREK AND BEE MOVIE CROSS OVER SHREK B: HONEY AND SWAMPS (I LOVED Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok but Secret Life of Walter Mitty’s stuck with me for a loooong time)

37) do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read cuz I’m not a NERD (I mean actual books I don’t ask me about it another time but comics I sure do I love the Marvel Civil War storyline)

38) money or brains? They say Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy me more games! Eat that SUCKERS (Honestly brains because then you can be smart which can make you a lot of money. So many more benefits)

39) do you have a nickname? what is it? Perriushium, destroyer of life and bringer of the new age (Pey given to me by my brother when he was still a baby and couldn’t say my name)

40) how many times have you been to the hospital? Enough to be immune to every disease known to man NOW IM UNSTOPABLE MWAHAHA (none for any of my own conditions or injuries but for family stuff about twice)

41) top 10 favorite songs All Star, All Star, All Star, Chum Drum Bedrum, All Star, All Star, All Star, Never gonna give you up, All Star, All Star (Bloody Stream, Sono Chi no Sadame, Flying Battery Zone, Stardust Speedway, Stand Proud, Goku Black theme, Halo theme, The Apparition, Shovel Knight main theme, Hooked on a Feeling)

42) do you take any medications daily? I take a shot of cold hard whiskey when I get up (nope I dont have anything)

43) what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) The largest organ of my body I’ll tell ya that much (I honestly dont know?? Smooth and soft I guess?)

44) what is your biggest fear? The Communists lol jk Communism is the only way (I’m not so sure on this one gonna be honest I do fear something I just cant think of it at the moment)

45) how many kids do you want? I mean I’m a 16 year old teenager in high school with no job and no relationship that being said 5 (NONE EVER NOPE 0 KIDS)

46) whats your go to hair style? Super Saiyan 3 (Idk I just kinda comb it to the left)

47) what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) All Star. Wait fuck wrong quest- (Two floor medium sized house)

48) who is your role model? Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh (uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh)

49) what was the last compliment you received? A like on my post we did it guys we hit one like so I’m here making this 1 like special (I was told that everytime my friend see’s my dyed hair it absolutely makes his day :D)

50) what was the last text you sent? Yeah that’ll be $5000 for the kill nice doing business with you (Maaaannny pictures of Genji Shimada)

51) how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL????!!!!!?!?!?! (It kinda faded over the years my last strands of belief were gone by 12)

52) what is your dream car? Odie’s car from Garfield Kart (The Mach 5 from speed racer there’s a street legal car look it up)

53) opinion on smoking? Jotaro does it so I do it too (PSA: Smoking doesn’t make you cool or look cool you’re just killng your lungs. I won’t try and make you stop as long as you’re aware I don’t want you smoking around me and you understand the consequences)

54) do you go to college? After that SAT I meeeaaaaannnn McDonalds might be hiring (I’m still in High School but I want to)

55) what is your dream job? To stand in a corner for 8 hours with a lamp shade over my head and make a clicking sound every so often (I would like to be able to draw, animate, design and/or play games for a living. Achievement Hunter would be a fantastic job but I doubt that’s happening)

56) would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I wanna live in a cloud In the sky and abduct people to harvest their DNA and make clones which I can fight to the death with (eh somewhere quiet and disconnected from people tbh)

57) do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? They fetch pretty high prices on eBay you’d be surprised (Nope I dont use them at all I bring my own and take my own)

58) do you have freckles? My face is a giant freckle little known fact (not really thank god I would look real bad with em)

59) do you smile for pictures? *leans in* I’m gonna let ya in on a secret kid. I wait until the photographer is just about to take the picture and then I hold a middle finger over my face to block the proper shot. Do it enough times then they’ll be payin YOU to get the picture done (I do but I only open my mouth slightly)

60) how many pictures do you have on your phone? They’re all of people I’ve killed because they showed me a stale meme dont worry about it (960 exactly and they’re all either memes, fan-art, or my cute friends)

61) have you ever peed in the woods? Ew no I don’t go outdoors thanks (Yep once on a school field trip in which we hiked to the top of a mountain it was fun)

62) do you still watch cartoons? Well I mean SOME ONE spoiled my belief in Santa earlier so I’m a bit too old for that now. I have a boring desk job thanks LAZLO (I do spongebob is really funny to me still and I LOVE the original Teen Titans)

63) do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McWendy’s next question (I dont eat either so)

64) Favorite dipping sauce? Drip dip dip I’m boutta rip please i want to die (I dont use dipping sauce either call me a heathen all you want)

65) what do you wear to bed? Well I take off the clothes I wore for the day, take off my earring, ring, necklace, eyes, hair, 3 layers of skin, and call it a night (Pajamas mostly and sometimes sweatpants)

66) have you ever won a spelling bee? *Obligatory Bee Movie Joke* (I’ve never even heard of a spelling bee in any of the schools I’ve been to)

67) what are your hobbies? Well I like to kill all mortals #ZamasuWasRight (I enjoy martial arts, drawing, video games, game design, and walking around my house with nothing to do)

68) can you draw? UH BOI YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ART IS UNTIL YOUVE SEEN A SHITTY JOJO DRAWING OF MINE (I mean yeah but not well)

69) do you play an instrument? Electric Triangle (Actually, I play the Violin but not super well)

70) what was the last concert you saw? SORRY WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE CONCERT (I’ve never been to one that seems like the opposite of fun for me personally I hate hyper loud music, people, and crowds)

71) tea or coffee? Coftea next question (tea. I don’t drink caffeine if i can help it)

72) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I need my sugar sonic rings (Again, Don’t drink caffeine)

73) do you want to get married? I’m already getting married. MARRIED TO THE LIFE OF CRIME THAT IS UP TOP (I mean I would like to one day)

74) what is your crush’s first and last initial? My Self (I don’t have anyone I’m crushing on)

75) are you going to change your last name when you get married? What’s crimes last name? Smigglesworth? (If my partners last name is something with an S cuz then I can be PJS)

76) what color looks best on you? You know the color mario turns when he uses the super star? T-that (Pink and Black)

77) do you miss anyone right now? PPFFFFFT NOOOOO WHATS A FEEL *CRIES* THOSE ARENT TEARS ITS JUST SWEAT IVE ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS OKAY (I miss all my internet friends :( *cries*)

78) do you sleep with your door open or closed? It is neither open nor closed it is in a hyper dimensional state between open and closed in which no mortal can enter or exit but also cannot be blocked from passage (clooossed because otherwise the cats are gonna kill my fish)

79) do you believe in ghosts? I mean how else would I make a long and successful career as a ghost buster (I do!)

80) what is your biggest pet peeve? My pet, Peeve! Biggest one I know! (depends on for what tbh the other day a guest speaker was talking to the class and this kid was playing music in his headphones really really loud and it pissed me off)

81) last person you called? Called what? Called them a nerd? A good bean? A meme? MAKE MORE SENSE YOU ******* **** *** ******** (Well according to my phone, the name listed is “Mom”)

82) favorite ice cream flavor? I’ll ice your cream if you’re not careful (Vanilla with chocolate syrup mixed together is hella everyone GO TRY IT)

83) regular oreos or golden oreos? The fuck is a golden oreo?? (No seriously, what the actual is a golden oreo)

84) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? *mario invincible star song plays as I flash color and dash down rainbow road* I’ll have to think about it (rainboooowww!)

85) what shirt are you wearing? Well I…. You see… The thing is…. excuse me for one second (yeah I can’t think of sass to this one but my favorite shirt! Sonic mania that my friend Tasha bought for me and I love it!!!)

86) what is your phone background? RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! “What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?” If you dont know those HOW DARE YOU LEARN THEM AND WE ARE WATCHING DRAGON BALL (Genji lock screen and Goku Black home screen)

87) are you outgoing or shy? Does THIS answer your question >:D (Outgoing when I want to be, but I’m antisocial so it’s like I CAN be outgoing and personable but it’s highly on my terms ya feel?)

88) do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair is a pride to my race the Saiyans hair is a sacred thing I will advise you not to touch it (YYYEEESSSS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT BUT THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS)

89) do you like your neighbors? …..the what? Never heard of it before is that a type of appliance? (I mean they’re chill we don’t interact a lot which I’m cool with)

90) do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Nothin can cure this ugly face fest of spring 2018 (I use face wash when I shower which is typically right after school not sure why it matters but there ya go :V)

91) have you ever been high? “I’m high on LIFE maaaannn” -Incorrect Shaggy quotes (N o p e never have don’t plan on it)

92) have you ever been drunk? shots ShotS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSHOTS (nope but I will one day maybe in College years)

93) last thing you ate? The shattering realization that my friends will keep saying OWO to me every chance they get (Pancakes! asked for french toast but I loooove the breakfast food so no complaints)

94) favorite lyrics right now someBODY Once Told Me The World Is Gonna Roll Me… (The lyrics to Bloody Stream dude it’s a g r e a t op)

95) summer or winter? Sorry I’m on Mars weather its ZXAR right now (eeehhhh winter cuz then I have an excuse to be inside and it’s also the ski season)

96) day or night? I am the darkness. I am the night. I am BATMAN (Night honestly I’m a fan of the darkness)

97) dark, milk, or white chocolate? Plllleeeeaaase its like asking if you’re heart is pure of evil or not. Dark Chocolate is a sin (Milk chocolate is the best chocolate fight me on that)

98) favorite month? See, some may argue for their birthday months, christmas, new beginnings to the year, but I say there’s only ONE spooky time :3 (Altho I’m one of the fools that’s gonna have to go with March because it usually has my favorite kind of weather for where I live)

99) what is your zodiac sign I refuse to go by Zodiac signs until Ted Cruz is proven to be the Zodiac Kill————–”OLD MEME ALERT THIS IS THE MEME POLICE” “I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL” (Cancer! I wear a necklace of my sign all the time fun fact for ya)

100) who was the last person you cried in front of? Me after writing all these (Don’t know actually I try not to cry in front of people ever)

#Perrin answers #Thanks for the ask!#About me

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clown-bait · 6 years

Text

Apologies (Monster Roommate AU)

So to continue my holiday mini fics for the AU heres the next one in the series! Pennywise gets in trouble and gets the silent treatment. He doesn't handle it well. On a side note I had a BLAST writing this especially the second part and Leech’s temper tantrum at work. I’ve been wanting to show her at the bar for some time now and get more of the Sawyer brothers in there! Also Penny making missing posters with sad faces drawn all over them in an attempt to be an adorable little shit.

Pennywise Sucks at Apologies

“Who ever is playing as “trashpire” is losing badly.” Penny plopped on the couch between Freddy and Leech.

“Wow thanks for the encouragement.” Leech grumbled as Freddy stabbed her character again. The demon was himself in the game of course, playing it somehow on the stupid Nintendo power glove. Leech put the controller down and packed another bowl in a huff.

“Aww giving up so soon bloodsucker?”

“You know its not fair when you use demon magic to win. Hey Penny sweetie, help me out here do that thing you do with the tv.” she picked the controller up after taking a hit from the colorful pipe.

Pennywise growled “I am a timeless ancient evil not something you can use to cheat on video games.”

“It's not cheating if Freddy’s cheating too.”

Penny playfully covered her face with his hand causing Leech to lose once again. The clown cackled at her protest continuing to mess with her vision. Leech finally got fed up and bit down on his thumb. Pennywise growled with mock anger and the vampire released him peppering little kisses on the wound.

“Ugh can you guys take a break today? I don't want to deal with Vorhees trying to break in” Freddy scooted over as far away from the couple as possible.

“Is he at it again? Man I bet that asshole was way better when he didn't talk” Leech remembered the first time she had run into Jason and how obnoxious he was.

“Nah, He was still an asshole” Freddy grumbled taking a hit from the pipe.

“Speaking of silent giant assholes, you know who absolutely freaks me out?”

“Me?” Penny grinned proudly

“Haha you wish. You're a giant asshole for sure but you aint quiet love. No its Michael Myers, I ran into him in the store the other night and the guy just stood there silently in the middle of the aisle like he was trying to decide he wanted to stab me in the throat or not.”

Penny's face twisted into that of pure offense. HOW DARE she think someone else was scarier than HIM. HIM the eater of worlds! The master of FEAR ITSELF. Pennywise felt his eye twitch and drift apart.

“Mikey is a total jerk man, he has this high and mighty attitude. Just because you don't say anything doesn't make you the scarier monster.” Freddy let out a puff of smoke while handing the pipe to the vampire who took a long hit.

“Pfft you're the opposite end of the spectrum Fred, maybe take a page out of Myers book sometime and shut up” she passed the pipe back across Penny’s lap, who was eerily still, to the dream demon.

“Nonsense, the ladies love a chatty killer! Right clown?…Clown?…Earth to Jingles?”

Penny's eyes had rolled completely to opposite sides of his face.

“You ok Pen?” Leech waved a hand in front of his face. The clown snapped to life with a roar and his jaws extended like a goblin shark biting onto her wrist. “OW HEY WHAT THE HELL” she slapped him on the back of the head. Pennywise let go, quickly grabbing her shoulders and sniffing frantically. “Were you scared???” he asked still sniffing her “NO I'm fucking pissed off what the shit Penny!?”

“Y-you weren't scared? Not even a little?” wait was he worried?

“Looks like you're losing your edge clown! Mikey is the one who scares your girl now!” Freddy laughed and Leech threw a dusty old pillow at him.

“Kruger!!” she hissed.

Penny got up and made his way towards the well his face expressionless.

“Oooooh boy I can already tell this is going to become a thing with him.”

“Shouldn’t have said that Ol’ Mikey is the one who really gets the adrenaline pumping then!”

“Ugh don't say it like that. I don't even think he's that attractive. He wears a William Shatner mask for fucks sake”

“I'm going to tell him you said that next time I see him!”

“DONT”

“Awwww whats the matter? S-s-s-scared Mike’s gonna come get ya?!” Freddy cackled

“I will pay you not to Fred, I'm dead serious”

“Now I know what to put in your nightmares tonight!”

“You wouldn’t”

“The clown’s off having an existential crisis you're fair game bloodsucker!”

“Are you just being a sore loser because I beat you in guitar hero? I won fair and square its not my fault you don't know all the songs.”

Freddy got up and tipped his hat to her “See you in your dreams scaredy cat”

like an evil Santa he was gone.

Leech sat alone in her room trying her hardest not to fall asleep knowing that Freddy would continue to mess with her more. She suddenly wished she could lucid dream so she could just punch him in the face next time he popped up. The vampire rolled over onto her back. “Maybe if I ate something?” she thought aloud but that would require getting up and going out. She settled on reading pulling out a book she had got from the library on Derry’s history. She liked knowing about Penny’s past exploits since he was always so cryptic with her when she asked. Plus morbid stuff was interesting.

She was on a bit about an Easter explosion, over 100 children dead at the old iron works. She chuckled to herself “Man this must have been like Christmas come early for him” she kept reading recognizing his circus cart in one picture and she started wondering to herself how the hell did Penny get that down into the sewer. Her light began to flicker and Leech groaned knowing she’d have to get up and change the bulb. Stupid old house with its stupid shotty wiring. The light completely fizzed out without warning “Just my luck” she snarled grabbing a flashlight. When she turned it on she noticed something at the foot of her bed. No, someone. She brought the light up and saw the bloody stain on the figures shirt then finally to its face. It was a child. A dead one. The child spoke softly “Hello Leech wont you come play with us!” her face slowly began to decay. Leech sat back and continued to watch the show. The ghost girl floated up and landed so she was standing on Leech’s stomach. It crouched down so it was in her face.

“Come play with us!!” It roared.

“Spooky, Like the decay it’s a nice touch.”

The ghost frowned and then opened its jaws showing millions of teeth. Its tongue snaked out holding a small silver crucifix. Leech hissed at it in anger and the charm melted, sliver splashing onto her chest causing smoke to rise from her skin. She screamed in pain and the ghost realizing it messed up began frantically trying to wipe it off her. Leech’s skin began to burn and suddenly her tank top had caught fire from the heat. The ghost became the clown, who tore the burning fabric off of his mate stomping out the flames with his large boots. Penny noticing her skin was lighting on fire now, scooped her up and ran to the bathroom tossing her in the shower and turning it on.

She was soaked her favorite sleeping shirt was ruined and there was awkward burns on her boobs. Pennywise was in DEEP trouble.

“Penny…… why the FUCK did you use an actual silver crucifix to try to scare me?!”

“I-I..um did it work?”

“WHAT DO YOU THINK DO I LOOK SCARED TO YOU?”

“Maybe the fire did alit-”

“SHUT UP. I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT UP TO HER WITH YOU TONIGHT! get me a FUCKING towel and get the FUCK out” she screamed she had never gotten this mad at him before.

“You cant kick me out I own this house.”

“OUT”

The clown vanished quickly reappearing on the couch down stairs. Where he placed his giant gloved hands over his face. She’ll be back she always calls for him to come back. Any minute now….

————

A few hours had passed and Penny was messing with Freddy and Leech’s video game trying to scare kids up way too late through their screens. She hadn't called for him back.

“Someone’s been banished to the cooouuucchh!” Chucky sang from the doorway.

“I swear if you say any more words doll…”

“Heard the screaming awhile ago what did you do? It has to be good to get kicked out of the bedroom”

The clown sighed. “I tried to scare her and I accidentally set her on fire.”

“Holy shit!” Chucky cackled “thats amazing! I cant believe you fucked up that bad Jingles!”

“Wonderful.” Penny grumbled

“Don’t sweat it clown, she’ll be begging for you back in no time. You just have to be real nice for a few days, which I know is hard for you…”

“Whats the use, my mate hates me and I'm not scary anymore.” the clown moped his head sinking low.

“Pfft yeah Kruger told me she had a freaky run in with Meyers. Whats the matter losing your edge?”

“I’m not talking about this.”

“Cheer up Jingles like I said she’ll be begging for you back eventually. Bring her some gifts or somethin. Fancy chocolate chicks like that.”

“She cant eat chocolate she’s a vampire.”

“Uuuhh one of those silver charm bracelets? I stole Tiff one last week when I was in trouble for leaving that stiff on the new rug.”

“Just found out silver lights her on- wait….that was you?”

“I cleaned it up!”

“Barely.” the clown crossed his arms and rolled over on the couch.

“Look that girls crazy about you, she’ll be hollering your name again soon Jingles. I'm telling ya makeup sex is the best!”

Penny rubbed his temples. He was not in the mood to talk about this.

“Did you at least say you were sorry?”

“No. When have I ever had to say that. I don't grovel at her feet and beg like a dog.”

“HAHAHAHA oh man your funeral buddy.”

Pennywise rolled onto his back and dramatically sunk into a crack in the couch. The last thing he heard was the doll shouting some useless romantic advice about dishes before he was back in his nest in the sewer.

————

It had been a full morning with no Pennywise breathing down Leech’s neck. Usually he’d play his own little games with her. Trying to distract her while she poured her breakfast in her favorite mug, leaving dirty suggestive things on her morning crosswords. His favorite game was trying to convince her not to go to work. He was very persuasive. This morning though the clown was completely absent, it was almost nice actually to finally have some space. Leech was able to go through her whole morning routine with no interruptions. It was going to be such a relaxing day. The vampire was thankful she had taken the day shift it was always slower and easier she was able to mingle with the customers more and pick better tasting victims for later. She’d forgive Penny tomorrow. Leech was going to enjoy her day off from him.

Today two young men walked into the bar they looked rugged and well built the type that would spend a lot of time outdoors. Chop-Top elbowed the newest waitress when he caught Leech staring at the lean body of one of the guys, the cannibal whispered something to the new girl and laughed. Penny would be pissed if he saw her right now and Leech smiled at the thought spinning a glass a bit just to show off. Oh he would be seething mad, but he deserves it after the way he'd been acting. The men left her a nice tip and the one she’d been eyeing gave her a grin as he left. He'd make a nice snack later. Chop-Top leaned against the bar “You're going to be in so much trouble” he laughed knowing how jealous his coworkers lover tended to get.

“I'm allowed to look, besides he deserves a kick in the ass. Penny’s been a huge jerk lately.”

Chop-Top scratched the metal plate under his 60s era wig as Leatherface came out of the kitchen “Hey big guy it’s a slow day mind if I take off early? We got plenty of burgers stored up from that last big weekend” Leech asked. Leatherface nodded and patted the vampires head Leech grinned “Thanks boss!” the giant leaned down and placed a hand on her shoulder looking at where the two men sat in concern “Don't worry Bubba, Pen and I are solid I'm just messing with him for setting me on fire last night”

“What happened unfortunate juggling accident?” Leatherface’s eccentric brother twirled on a bar stool with laughter and the pretty new girl came over to the bar. She was one of the local werewolves and the only one Leech tolerated…..Tolerated is a strong word it was more she was contractually obligated to not start any more fights. “You got set on fire?”

“Yes Sandy I got set on fire. You didn't notice the burns on my cleavage?” Leech rolled her eyes. this bitch talks too much.

“What cleavage?” Chop-Top joked and Leech pushed him off the stool hard.

“My new boyfriend would never do that to me! He’s such a great guy!! Don't know why you put up with that kind of behavior that clown has”

“Gee Sandy! Maybe its because I actually love him and don't plan on dumping him in two weeks. You ever try that? I know its hard for you dogs to not hump the leg of everything you see” Leech muttered after turning away from the werewolf.

“What was that?” Sandy asked.

Leatherface and Chop-Top both began pointing frantically at the employee rules behind the bar. There was a new one scribbled in red marker at the bottom saying “NO MORE BLOOD-FEUDS” the vampire groaned.

“I mean um he’s an acquired taste. You get used to it.”

“I’ll say, must be so obnoxious with all that circus shit all the time. What a fucking weirdo…Oh and those bells and that shakey high pitched voice ugh”

“I. Like. The. Circus. Shit.” the nosferatu spat her fake smile beginning to crack. No one puts Penny down but her.

“it'd drive me crazy to date a guy who wore more make up than me.”

“HIS MAKEUP IS PERFECT AND HIS VOICE IS LIKE HONEY! Shut your whore mouth! I love my clown!!” the vampire roared claws scraping into the bar.

Leatherface practically threw the rule board at Leech. “She started it!”

“Your shifts over Leech, go home and no fighting” Chop-Top pushed the vampire out the door.

“FINE!” she got on her bike and rode off.

————-

It didn't help that everything reminded her of him. Leech wanted to head straight into the nearest storm drain after that incident and forgive him just so she could feel those long arms wrap around her. She was still mad at him though, and like a child he wouldn't learn his lesson unless she stuck to her guns and gave him the silent treatment. What made it hard was the clown’s presence seemed to be EVERYWHERE today. He was probably doing this on purpose so she’d forgive him faster.”That little shit.” Leech thought to herself when she saw a missing poster with her face on it. She pulled it off the wall and read it

Missing: you

24 years old

Last seen yelling at a sweet innocent clown

description: big ears, sharp teeth and bald. Cutest vampire you'll ever see!

If found please return to the nearest sewer opening or sad lonely clown. :o(

Leech rolled her eyes at the sad faced balloon crudely drawn in the corner. “You think you can win me over by being cute you need to try harder Penny” fuck he's making this difficult for her.

She folded the paper and put it in her bag. Leech tried her best to avoid every red balloon tied to almost all the street signs she came across. Somehow she ended up in the park and the vampire decided to sit in the shadiest area she could find to avoid dealing with her clown problem at home. Leech felt the familiar cramp of hunger begin to build, tearing at her insides till she could no longer ignore it. She decided to look around the crowd for someone who wouldn't be missed.

Her sensitive hearing picked up the sound of a couple local bullies shoving a kid against a tree off in the woods. This will work. The nosferatu crept into some bushes and waited for the boys to stop their tormenting. As she waited the smell of cotton candy and blood drifted into her nose. Oh great. She looked over and Pennywise was crouched in hunting mode diagonal from her. Of course he was here, that poor boy being pushed into the tree was terrified. “I’ll just take my food and go don't even talk to him…he’s probably after the kid anyway not the teens.” she thought to herself. The vampire moved closer and a twig snapped under her knee. “SHIT” she whispered then quickly covered her mouth, the poor nosferatu was still making all kinds of rookie mistakes. The teens let go of the boy who ran out of the woods and she saw the mess of orange hair snap in her direction. “Fantastic now were both mad at each other.” she rolled her eyes.

“W-whos there?” one of the boys asked. Leech sighed and shot a claw out from her bush to drag him back into it with horrifying speed while he screamed. The other boy jumped back shrieking and fell against the tree he had pinned his own victim to only a few moments before. Sickening crunching sounds could be heard from the bush the boy’s friend had just disappeared into. The surviving bully picked up a sharp branch in an attempt to save his friend and using it like a spear he stabbed into the bush Leech was feasting in. Something caught it before it made contact with her and the vampire froze turning to see Pennywise towering over the other boy. “Its rude to disturb a girl while she's enjoying her meal.” he snarled Leech had fallen back against her snack and stared up at him both in shock and relief to see Penny decided to help her out. The clown looked over at her and gave her a cocky smirk. If he thinks he's out of the dog house for saving my ass he's so wrong. Leech stood up and sarcastically smiled back at him. “What the fuck! What the fuck is that!” the bully screamed. The boys eyes were wide with tears of sheer terror from seeing his friends blood covering the vampire’s chin and the now six foot circus demon towering over him.

“Time to float kiddo” Pennywise lunged forward and delivered a perfect killing blow, dropping the body with a thud on the dirt. He turned to his vampire and gave a cocky grin. “SoooOOO….whats a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“Cute. You use that line on all the flesh eating women you meet?” Leech rolled her eyes.

“Just the pretty ones like yourself my dear….. you going to finish that?” he pointed at the body next to her.

“I’m not giving you my meal and I'm still not talking to you” Leech crossed her arms and turned her head away from Pennywise trying not to get stuck in his golden stare.

“You’re talking to me right now though!” the clown strolled over to her and tilted her chin up to meet his gaze with a single gloved finger.

“Yeah well…. only cause you saved my ass….so thanks…asshole.” Leech glared at him. Penny sensed her beginning to break.

“My my little firecracker, is that any way to treat your rescuer? I think I deserve more thanks than that” he pulled her closer to him so she could feel his hot breath on her cold lips.

“You’re not getting any. You’ve been a dick lately” Leech looked away from him trying her best to hide the creeping blush on her hollow cheeks

“Then why aren't you trying to get away?” he was inches away from her now. Shit

“I hate you” Leech snarled and closed her eyes “Mmmmm I hate you more” his soft lips pressed against hers. Stupid clown. The vampire ran a claw through his hair pulling him into her to deepen the kiss Pennywise purred with victory. Leech unceremoniously pushed him off her with a huff facing away from him to hide the fact she was about to start grinning like a school girl. Pennywise snickered.

“You know, you're lucky I didn't punish you for chasing off my initial meal with your stupid mistakes.”

“Not everyone can be as perfect as you, I'm still learning. Give me a break.”

“Aww you're right I am perfect!” he smirked at his on lame joke.

“You're a narcissist is what you are.” Leech grumbled.

“I thought you weren't talking to me.”

“You’re right I'm not…I’m… you just….fuck….you’re so fucking frustrating you know that?” pennywise snarled and pinned her against the tree.

“Likewise bloodsucker. You have no idea how much you torment me.”

“At least I don't light you on fire when my ego’s bruised”

“At least I have an ego. Pitiful little thing, if you spent half the time you spend moping around on practice you wouldn't need me to save you from these situations.”

“I don’t need you to come save me I can take care of myself” Leech snarled back.

“That boy nearly impaled you. If I hadn't shown up you'd be one step away from losing that pretty head of yours. You're lucky I like you so much.”

Leech shoved him back “Yeah but you didn’t do it for me did you! I know you too well. You did it because you thought I’d stop being mad at you.” she took a bold step forward. Too bold. “Selfish prick… you know perfectly well I would have been fine. Stop trying to scare me with that you “would have died” bullshit I'm not in the mood.”

The clown slammed her into a tree with a growl fully pissed off now.

“Stupid girl. Do I need to show you how much I care again?” Pennywise roared his claws splintering into the tree behind her. “Go ahead” she grinned “but you still wont be man enough to ever say you're sorry to my face.” What a brat. She was completely right of course, but still her attitude was definitely in need of adjusting. He hated when she was right.

The clown placed a knee between her legs and grabbed her neck bringing her close to him again. Leech whimpered a bit when he licked her neck and chin with greed. He groped her body possessively touching her in any way that he wanted to and the vampire glared at him trying everything she could to hide the flush of ichor under the skin of her cheeks. He was being an ass but she loved it when he got worked up like this. Stupid clown. When he kissed her again Leech moaned into his mouth pulling his waist so his hips pressed against hers. Penny had the hem of her pants in his claws prepared to rip them off until he sniffed the air and paused more humans.

“Hello? Miss you ok?” a mans voice rang out in the woods. He couldn't see the clown or the bodies Penny had hidden them, but he left Leech. Lets see how she does without him there to save her now.

Leech's eyes widened oh shit it's the guy from the bar. Shit, shit, shit!!! Penny glanced over at her and sneered “Friend of your’s darling?”

“Hey! Its you! What’s a pretty little bartender doing way out here in these woods?”

Pennywise bared his fangs in jealousy. Oh she did know him. “Yeah what are you doing out here Leech” he turned to her with an evil grin

“Oh um nothing really”

“Just fucking my lover in the woods.” Pennywise mocked her. Leech wanted to die at this point.

“JUST GOING ON A HIKE” she yelled over the clown.

“You uh seem a bit roughed up you ok?” walked over to touch her arm and she pulled back.

“Fine! I'm fine! Tripped on a rock silly me! I must have weak knees!”

“Yeah clowns seem to make them shake like a leaf” Pennywise smirked enjoying his little test.

“Want me to take a look at it?” the man asked,

“I’ll..I’ll be ok” thats a lie, she was far from ok right now especially since Penny was now running a gloved hand down the small of her back and attempting to stuff said hand down the back of her pants.

“Well in that case forgive me if I'm being too forward but my friend and I are here for a couple days while we prep for a backpacking trip. I’d love to get your number so we could hang out sometime.”

This poor boy just signed his own death certificate. He was nice too, if Leech wasn't involved with Penny she might have even said yes. He’ll make a nice meal though, she didn't get to finish her’s after all. Pennywise walked behind the man and bared his fangs snapping his jaws near his head to show Leech what he planned on doing with him after she was gone. She gave the clown a look that said Not today Pennywise. “I’m actually already seeing someone-“ she paused an evil thought entering her mind and the vampire grinned at the clown wickedly “sorta… we’re having a big fight right now really.” Penny’s playful expression dropped. She wouldn't dare.

“Oh thats a shame you're more than welcome to talk about it, I'm Brad by the way”

“Lee-Lucy! I’m Lucy”

“You're mine is what you are.” Penny walked over to her and ran his fingers roughy along his mark on her neck. Leech swatted him away.

“So tell me dear Lucy, why would this guy of your’s ever want to make you upset? If you were my girl I would treat you like a princess”

Leech shot Penny another look that said “See? A princess!” Pennywise glared at her more.

“Well, it started as a practical joke gone wrong. Now its more about how he's being a selfish asshole”

“Well you're very cute a girl like you shouldn't have to put up with that”

“You think I'm attractive?” Leech laughed in surprise. Pennywise was fuming. “Huh I rarely ever hear that these days.” Leech looked directly into the clowns eyes.

“Absolutely, I have a thing for girls like yourself.” he chuckled and took a step closer to her. Wrong move buddy.

“Well um thanks…..don't think you'd like the real me though”

“What are you getting at Leech” Penny snarled.

Brad took her hand and Leech saw the clown twitch. “Nonsense. That guy of your’s doesn't know how lucky he is to have you.” this poor sweet boy is a walking corpse at this point. Brad leaned in while stared at Leech’s lips as if asking to kiss her.

“Dont even think about it” Pennywise’s eyes were blood red.

“Well thank you for the kind words” Leech turned away. Maybe she took this too far. She saw Penny struggling to hold his clown form together his face beginning to split. The human grabbed her chin to turn her face back to him and she glared. Ok buddy you've overstayed your welcome. Leech looked over to Penny and winked the clown narrowed his eyes. Suddenly Brad began to kiss her and the vampire snarled with rage, she bit clear through his lip sucking in the sweet blood. Brad screamed and staggered back. Leech laughed removing her wig to free her large bat like ears, she let her front fangs extend and brought her long red tongue out to lick up the blood on her chin. Pennywise hid the small half smile that threatened to break through his scowl. He did love to watch her work after all. Brad screamed in terror and disgust “Whats the matter baby? Thought you said I was beautiful.” she laughed as Pennywise made him self visible behind her the clown was still twitching a bit. “Hiya Brad!”

“What the fuck is that! What the fuck are you?”

“This is that boyfriend I was talking about dear. He’s not very happy about what you did. Neither am I.”

“That thing? You're dating that thing?”

Pennywise grunted.

“He's a clown not a thing Brad, and yes I love him… even when he's being a jerk” she elbowed Penny hard and he elbowed her back with a huff.

“You're still not letting that go are you?” the clown side eyed her.

“No Penny I’m not, you can either swallow your pride and apologize or let me eat this guy and leave”

“Wait eat me?!”

Pennywise growled at his vampire “Don't interrupt Brad. And I have nothing to be sorry for, you're the one letting some filthy human touch you.”

“For the record I didn't want the kiss that was our friend taking it a bit too far. But you deserve it anyway after the way you’ve been acting. Biting me, lighting me on fire, all because I said someone else scared me one time? You have some serious jealousy issues.”

“Wow I’ll say”

“Shut up Brad!” Leech hissed “You could at least start with an apology Pen, but instead you just act like what you did was perfectly justified. PLUS at least the human can give me a compliment every now and then you selfish prick!”

Penny turned to growl at her more but the frantic shuffling of fleeing feet drew his attention away. He snarled at the direction of the running human and turned to Leech “I’ll be back for you.”

“Go ahead I'm still not going to talk to you until you say you're sorry though!” The nosferatu yelled.

The clown glared and vanished. When she was finally alone Leech let out a roar in frustration. Fucking egotistical inter-dimensional clown. She cried by herself for a bit the weather becoming dark and stormy as a result. The vampire left her tears in the dirt and started to head home unaware of her clown watching her silently from the shadows. He hated seeing her upset and he knew was the one who caused it. He held up Brads detached head “Ok maybe you're both right I’ve been a bit of a “jerk” lately.” he made the head nod in agreement. “Shall I try getting her back then, my way?” the head nodded no. “You would say that Brad….you stole your taste and look where that got you hmm? I'm not giving in to her little apology game.” he turned the head to look at him “Yes I know I miss her terribly. Is that what you want to hear? You're dead I don't have to listen to you” Penny tossed the head behind him and ended his macabre one sided puppet show. The clown sunk into the shadows to plan.

--------------------------------------------

I headcannon Penny talking to his victims when he’s bored. Just having weird one sided convos with corpses. Also fun fact one of the horror movies that messed me up when I was a youth was Halloween. It didn't fuck me up as bad as Nightmare on Elm ST did but it fucked me up pretty good. Ironically Nightmare became one of my all time favorites but Halloween never really caught on for me. Just not a big fan of the silent killers beyond Leatherface I guess. Next chapter is gonna get FUN.

#pennywise #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise x oc #pennywise x reader #it fanfiction #monster roommate au

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

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Episode 10 | “Calm before the storm” - Amir

so jordan pines went home, and im at peace. he was acting in a way to actively be detrimental to my game, and he also was bringing this kind of toxic energy to the game that i'm very much glad to see go. i also have... never felt such fear as when jordan called me out of the blue yesterday KJHASDFJKLASLKJFAS also i kinda wanna write an apology to kendall here? i made this whole ramble at tribal about how we shouldn't make this game personal, but i've also talked about how i dont like her energy and this kind of stuff, and i just wanna apologise? i think i had mega-preconceptions of her and just because we dont always 100% click as people doesnt give me any excuse to be rude! im gonna do better, that's the mission. moving forwards, me and tj squashed our beef which is fun. apparently people think i leaked that lovelis was the vote to him which JKASDLFAS hello?! i sure did not. also i wonder who leaked to jordan that he was the vote? i kind of assume someone told tj, who told jordan? jake suggested devon which i could see. i think this round jake is going to want duncan gone, but i think i want augusto gone? i think amir is a beauty who i want around because we are winners and i also? really like amir on a personal level. and then kendall is sweet, and also i think less threatening, while i could see augusto being able to continue to wriggle through which is scary. anyway so: who i'd vote as a juror: autumn > jake > amir > devon > augusto > duncan > kendall > adam > tj ideal bootlist: augusto > duncan > tj > kendall > amir > autumn > f4: me/adam/devon/jake I LOVE Autumn with my entire soul by the way, but I also do think its becoming apparent that I... would be a complete clown to go to the end with her... but i also do not think i can vote her out, so i hope someone else does...anyway we will see hehe

Jordan Pines really left… I’m gagged! A whole lot of buffoonery went down during the last few hours and I felt like I had to talk MULTIPLE people off a ledge when it came to flipping. Devon for whatever reason wanted to use his double vote and get out Duncan or TJ but imo, those are very easy votes and we need to save the double vote for something that packs a punch. Adam told me if we should join Jordan in his plan to vote Duncan (which Jordan never told me about so I didn’t want to make it anyway) but I told Adam that if Jordan stays, he’ll go on a revenge rampage and who would be able to stop him. Not only that, but I know Adam and Autumn are close so I told him that we need to build more allies/connections so keeping Jordan could alienate people from working with us like Autumn. Even with Kendall, she did not want to do it for most of the round but as sis had to put his foot DOWN with all these people because Jordan leaving really helps me. I feel I did good also at getting TJ to really trust me? I let him know that he could be receiving votes and that Jordan’s name was out there and we really connected on being scapegoated by the others that round which helped. It’s interesting xoxo

Amir and I were talking about being scared of making match ups for this immunity and then I was starting to think about the tribe dynamics and who might be working with who. Side 1: me, Amir, Kendall (Devon lowkey) Side 2: Autumn, Ali, Adam, Jakey (?) Loose ends: Duncan (tighter with Autumn and possibly Jakey), TJ (tighter with Devon, Kendall, and myself) Am I perfectly right? Probably not but that’s just what I’m observing tbh. I do feel good that my connections to certain individuals (Devon, Jakey, Autumn, TJ, Adam) might be pretty strong which is cute! What I see happening is that Duncan leaves this vote (which is what I really really want), Ali or Kendall next vote (Ali is THE move I want to make because he and I are playing similar and he scares me. It would only be done if me/Kendall/Amir/Devon + his extra vote make it happen. I can see Kendall leaving since there would be big Beauty numbers still in the game which I get. I don’t wanna see her leave because I adore her but in a way, maybe it’d be good for my game idk?), and after that Autumn leaving would be KEY. After that, it’d be me/Amir/Devon/Adam/TJ/Jakey I think? And I don’t feel bad about that in the slightest. I’m getting ahead of myself but I’m a Virgo Sun AND Rising, it’s what I do ghfjdksl

It’s like 1 AM and I’m bored but I’ve been in so many alliances for some reason ghfjdks OG Hathor: Bringing Sexy Back (me, Amir, Kendall, Connor), Leaning Tower of Penis that is also french (me, Amir, AJ, Connor, Kendall), Quadruple A Batteries (me, Amir, AJ, Adam), and The Soviet Oreo Cheesecakes (me, Kendall, Austin). NuThoth: Thots R Us (me, Amir, Kendall, Jakey, Scott), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), Sexy Procrastinators (me, Kendall, Amir, AJ), and Hehehehe (me, Amir, Kendall, Scott). Merge: dumb betches (me, Amir, Kendall), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), real riders (me, Amir, Devon, Autumn) Not to mention the one on one alliances I have too (me/Jakey, me/Devon, me/Amir, me/Kendall, me/Autumn [ish], me/Adam [ish], me/TJ [ish]) like I-

me after that entire round https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20 I had to take a day off Skype just to process but now that I'm back? Let me just say that was a masterpiece and some of my finest work. I really orchestrated Jordan Pines' demise from start to finish without getting a vote or an idol played a round BEFORE an all flash game round. I love that he said we've been planning this for a long time and I just wanna clarify. I ALWAYS wanted Jordan Pines out, I just never thought he would play into my hand that fucking early lmaaaaooo. The tea is I just wanted Jordan or TJ to be captain because they've been sitting on their asses all game and have never had to actually work to not be targeted or god forbid earn being in a good spot. Like the winners are awake, the POC's are awake, Devon's been to 50 tribals so he's awake, Jake almost died so he's awake, and Kendall knows she's on borrowed time so she's awake. Miss Jordan and TJ however? They're just along for the ride and I'm sorry if I'm not trying to carry anyone to Final 4 just so I get 4th. But no I had no idea that me organizing the captain thing would set it all off but here we are. These boys really thought y'all- they really thought they did something by choosing the bottom half of the list and hanging me and Duncan high and dry in the process wouldn't mean the end of that alliance. Oh OF COURSE it's the end and it gave me permission to now movely free about the cabin. That Jordan vote was airtight for 21 hours, got leaked, and still worked so know that I will be coming to collect my flowers when this is all over. AND it gets better because soooo many people told on themselves leading up to that vote. Between Duncan snatching immunity from Augusto after agreeing to vote Jordan and then pressuring Devon to vote Jordan in the final minute to Jordan going ballistic on the whole cast and people wanting him out just to have peace again, I have never been prouder of my gameplay lmao. I really turned on an alliance but got the allies to piss a bunch a people off in the process, which sealed the fate of Jordan, Duncan, and eventually TJ. I pushed one whole domino y'all and it done set the course of the ENTIRE merge I'm screaming God is really that good. Like all the men losing trust amongst each other?? Ugh it's glorious. Adam mad at Duncan for lying to his face and pretending that he never wanted Adam out. Amir mad at Duncan for never telling him about that alliance in the first place. Augusto mad at Duncan for snatching immunity all over Jordan just for it to get snatched from Jordan anyway. Jordan mad at Amir, Duncan, Ali, and the whole motley crew because "they were supposed to be friends." Devon and Jakey mad and want each other out because Jakey is onto Devon and they each want TJ to themselves. And I'm over here playing Veronica Mars trying to figure out who the rat is. WHEN I SAY I CANNOT MAKE ANY OF THIS UP But if there's one thing we can all agree on is that it's time for Duncan to go lmao I am getting NO votes in the end I love it. Literally name an ally I won't kill https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20

heyo so... im having a kind of upsetting realisation right now, which is that i think i'm setting myself up for a path that ends in me being a losing finalist. autumn is legit the love of my life, but rn my game is too autumn-centric, and then my information is like a one way tunnel to jake. SO i need to turn my game around, because even tho i think i can get away with my lesser game presence so far as a winner, i cant keep coasting. i think at f9 i can ramp it up, i need to use f10 to set myself up. i think adam/devon are going to be crucial to my game and my differentiation from jake. i am gonna make moves that go against his agenda, because i know i can. i have idols to force through what i want to happen, so its time i get that done. goal bootlist: duncan > augusto > tj > kendall > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/jake/devon/adam and i boot out whoever is the biggest jury threat

BY JOVE I HAVE DONE IT I HAVE TURNED ALL MY FEELINGS INTO MEMES!!!!!!!!! PUT LEAST TRUST WORTHY PERSON IN THE GAME? MEME HAVING TO VOTE OUT MY OLDEST TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND? MEME SPILLING TO SAID TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND THEY WERE GOING? MEEMEEEEEEEE PUT IN A CHAT IN ORDER TO SAVE TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND AND ACTIVELY CHOOSING NOT TO SAVE HIM? MEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PERSONAL ISSUES??? MEEMEEE THAT'S RIGHT NO LONGER DO I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO CRY OR SMILE OR CRY AGAIN IT IS ALL MEMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AJKDFADFJKSFADJKSKJDSDKSFMNVNVANFKKAVNNKVN MY SANITY IS GONE AND SO IS MY FEELINGS!!!!!!!! ALL HAIL OUR DEAD SAVIOR JORDAN PINES HAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL This confessional was brought to you by Alcohol, Alcohol giving the support your family refuses to provide for you.

Well well well....Going from 16th place on a unanimous vote to a guaranteed spot in the final 9 feels pretty nice. I've been able to leverage my double vote as a source of trust to others, and this could be the round in which I send out Duncan from this game. So ironic that he's the one on the bottom after all this time. I feel like I'm in a strong position in this game, but I'm playing with fire: - 2 person alliance between me/Kendall - 3 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto - 2 person alliance between me/Ali - 2 person alliance between me/Adam - 4 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto/Autumn - 2 person alliance between me/TJ This basically leaves my options past this round to Jake or a blindside.

oh unkie dunkie. oh unkie dunkie. everytime we play together you underestimate me, and for what. literally duncan is pulling a jordan and trying to pull in the beauties as like.. one round numbers... like did you not see with jordan that that does not work hello? the beauties have brains and can see you are just trying to pull them in for a single vote like make it make sense. so duncan is gone tonight and im at peace. and then moving forwards i want adam around for the LONG HAUL. we had a great talk today and he is so fun!! i feel bad because i lied about the idol but hopefully i'll play it in a mutually beneficial way. i think a good f3 would be me/adam/devon? so the plan is bootlist: kendall > augusto > tj > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/adam/devon/jake (i think?) but getting jake to vote tj will be hard. but having all three winners at f6 would be PERF for me.

ok hello confessional time, ive been trying to cut back to like 1 confessional a round to make sure i dont just ramble on and on and keep the tea as organized as possible because things switch like a dime in this game, so to start, i think last thing i mentioned was how jordan was probably going home, even though i had told him to start a campaign against duncan, which he did and then i ended up not going with it hsfkdj love my mind, the bipolar TRULY jumped out.... however hehe now that jordan is gone, and since a lot of people already wanted duncan out, that could very well be the move this round. Devon is immune which is good for him, decent for me, i did NOT want immunity this round because i had it last time and 2 in a row wouldve put a target on my back considering i still have the challenge advantage from the auction and at this point everyone knows about it, so i made a really big risk throwing this immunity because of that and also because of how the challenge was set up, where if you won a round, you have to single out 2 people to be next, which would put an unnessecary target on my back and i still am trying to recover from my dumb lie, so it's about picking and choosing your battles, and after last round where someone went home solely based on shady immunity choices, i want no part in that! I'm also ABSOLUTELY trying to get my foot in everyone's kitchens serving you rachel ray teas, so that would expose who i do and dont really trust (which is pretty much no one ahkdsf), but devon winning is ok because i think he's with me (but idk i wanna trust him/autumn but im also well aware they're both kinda running around trying to play everyone a bit, so ill keep that in mind for future rounds) and now i just have to hope im not the target this vote, but i dont think i am unless people are even better than me at being fake the only person who picked on me in the challenge was amir which he asked me beforehand and i didnt wanna win so i gave him my permission, and now that it's almost vote time, things have got a little hectic, apparently duncan is trying to go around and tell people to split the vote between the 3 beautys besides me.....BUT THEN HE'S GOING TO THE 3 BEAUTYS PROPOSING TO THEM TO VOTE WITH THEM TO TAKE OUT ME OR ALI?? Duncan, strike 1 was throwing my name out 2 rounds ago, strike 2 was lying right to my face when i asked you about it, and now this mutiny you're trying to lead is strike 3. luckily for me i stopped being petty with the beautys and we're all kinda good again at least to me, so im hoping theyre not playing me since they spilled the tea to me all individually and duncan will be the only one blindsided tonight :) (love you as a person asdfh but game wise, get outta town!) also had some calls today, apparently people are starting to see me/ali as a duo....which while i do genuinely like ali as a person and i do trust him a little more than others, that could mean trouble for me down the line so ive gotta start causing doubt with people about that somehow, also me and jake spoke for the first time on call in years and...... i wanna be able to say that went good like i was making some jokes and laughs here and there and he mentioned he was making progress on the merge idol to me which kinda caught me off guard but he says he doesnt have it so we'll see.... also he seemed a little reserved, so im either a nutjob and being paranoid for no reason, or he's still got a grudge against me and ill have to deal with that at some point. But now is not that time yet, he did confirm to me devon has told other people about his extra vote which is funny because he told me it was just me who knew and has always been saying like "our extra vote" implying it's me and him 100% in it so consider yourself CLOCKEDT on that fib sir, unless youre lying to others and telling me the truth then carry on afshdkj also everyone is kinda figuring out how autumn is in good with everyone, and while i do want to trust her, it makes me nervous how close she is to jake because if those two together come for me..... i could be oop'ing my way right to the jury ... autumn is just giving me like kim one world vibes and im not trying to be her sabrina thompson even if i can trust her. I will have to make a move against her too eventually, hopefully im just around long enough for that to happen but anywho.... hopefully duncan goes tonight, im hearing he's just been saying me to people so i play my idol WHICH AGAIN I DONT HAVE. IS THIS HOW ELIZA FELT BECAUSE I SWEAR ITS JUST A FUCKING STICK IS WHAT I HAVE AT THIS POINT ....and if anyone but duncan goes ill most likely be soon to follow

Alright, so Damage Control TJ has been doing some work. Has it been perfect? Not even close. However, I think I've made some ground. So I started by having an open conversation with Duncan/Autumn in our chat with Jordan (I already miss you being here) and then with Ali who I think all had their suspicions of me after that last tribal. Can't blame them, but I used that time to hopefully get the target away from this next round and at least get a little footing. Then, last night I had calls with Devon, Augusto, and Kendall. They all agreed that the two biggest threats in this game are Ali and Autumn, which I'm so glad people understand this. So I think I've done a decent amount to connect with those two moreso than I had before (Devon and I were always close). And then I talked to Amir today, we talked for over an hour, and I genuinely cannot believe how much on the same page that we are on. Maybe I'm just being very optimistic about the convo, but I think I have another avenue that I could easily pursue at this rate. He basically made it known that he is close to Augusto and not as much Kendall (the exact quote was "I'm being put into a trio with the other two, but I'm not close to Kendall"... so like... yeah...), but even better he suggested a group of four between me, Devon, him, and Augusto which I think makes a lot of sense. It doesn't include my closest ally of Jakey, which probably is good because it gives me a couple roads to pursue, and it allows me to go after the two people who need to go in this game between Ali and Autumn (or else they would easily be two time champs). Yes, I know Amir is a champ too, and I will do something about that a little later, but for now I think this might be a good move to work with. So after this Duncan vote, I think I can make a move against Ali/Autumn (probably Ali by the sounds of it) and have some numbers that I don't become a target. But the question lies in where these idols are and how they will affect the next round or two.

duncan is so funny thinking he is gonna pull off this 4-3-3 blindside to send me packing... like it doesn't make sense or add up KJLSADFDAS. i'm kinda getting a rush and also getting votes is very good news for me because i was one of two who hadn't got votes yet hehe.

well.. provided i live through this 4-3-3 vote i should be set to make f9!! i just want to say how much of a king amir is, i had so many preconceptions of him and im so glad i could work through them. i think i want to go to f5 with amir/adam/devon/jake... they are five people who have been straight up with me and who i feel good about having in the endgame. autumn is the literal love of my life, but from talking to adam today, its clear autumn in the endgame is like kim spradlin. legit every single person trusts her and i'd be a clown to have her at the end even tho it breaks my heart. i would like to see duncan, kendall and tj as next three boots for sure. duncan is legit trying to blindside me so he needs to go ASAP jsakdfa. next up kendall, i kinda want a beauty gone so that their group is less threatening, because if i want someone like amir in endgame, i need one of the others gone. then tj because he is a loose end to me, plus he is gonna be a jury threat i just FEEL IT in my bones. but this all relies on me getting through this vote and who knows if that is gonna happen KJSDAF

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If I go tonight! It’s been fun everyone! Thanks to the hosts for having me!

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Okay quick early round confessional, I kinda am like mind jumbled right now. Ali - Autumn - Jakey Ali - Autumn - Adam Tj - Devon Me - Kendall - Augusto - (Devon??) Me - Augusto - Devon Duncan - (on his own) Everyone wants duncan out, and like even I can’t trust him. He still is being fake to my face about most game facts and alliance, but he’s someone that would go after Ali, so I don’t want him to go, but it might be better to stay the course. I love him but this is what has 2 happen and It’s another round when me kendall and Augusto survive when we weren’t even suppose to survive one. Then Kendall is still a meat shield because she will get targeted first, but I want her to stay as long as I can keep her and I’m lucky I even got to keep her this far. If duncan and Kendall are the next to go, which like I hope it’s not but this may be what happens, then at the 8 me Augusto devon, his double vote and I more person can pull a move on Ali. It’s just going to depend who people are more scared of, me or Ali

Ali is literally Going to win this game 2 idols, an idol block, adam’s loyalty, autumn’s loyalty, jakey’s loyalty, secretly a comp beast, British accent, hes so likable He has all the tools of a winner And he downplays it so hard

I am trying so damn hard to stay alert in this game But honestly I keep feeling like Ali or autumn will strike I don’t think it’ll be this round But next round, I think I’m going to try and make a move It’s time Me Augusto devon tj and double vote or me Augusto devon kendall double vote Don’t know if I can’t trust devon and tj Well we need devon’s double vote And I need jakey to be okay with it cuz if he tips Ali off, I’m gonna go it’s risky af But like we can’t just keep letting him win so Gotta make a move I’m thinking about if it’s better to let kendall go first To help Jakey devon and tj to feel better about it and ease them into it Because Augusto can work tj, we can both work devon, and I can secretly work jakey but jakey is a control freak and might tell Ali to play the idol but I’m gonna trust him This game a is a personal prison I am in mental torment If Augusto and I do this Ali plan for the next round after duncan goes this round And it leaks, it’s over for me But people were gonna come for me anyway So we should try this round is the calm before the storm cuz everyone is doing duncan Next round W A A A A A R

I just tried so fucking hard To get jakey on board with blindsiding Ali next round If he tells Ali to play an idol, well! Good luck Charlie (I’m Charlie) He is talking about getting everyone in the game to split the vote on me and Kendall, and then me kendal him and Augusto will vote Ali or adam. So I agreed, and went and ratted him out to adam autumn and Ali, cuz I knew they weren’t gonna agree with Duncan’s plan so it was not actually applicable, so I have no choice but keep the course, and now Ali and autumn and adam trust me more, Duncan is gonna be mad, but he played himself into a corner. He lied to me about his alliance, and has always had different motives since he asked to work with me at the start, rip king, I feel so bad cuz he’s actually a really really cool person, but he’s about to get a rude game awakening

#BackWithVengeance

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chroniclesmuslim · 6 years

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February 10th, 2018

**real names have been changed for the sake of privacy. YES i changed the name of my muslim crush and friends to christian names. If you have any advice for me or any comments, please feel free to leave them. just a regular muslim girl trying to find love (the halal way)

So nothing really has changed since i made my last update. I texted him yesterday and initiated conversation. I kinda felt weird doing it though since this whole scenario is weird in general. i'm used to him hitting me up in the mornings while he’s at work and starting a convo and tbh i think the main reason why i feel kinda iffy about messaging him first is because he had also told me in his "tbh" moment that the reason he wasnt 100% interested in the beginning was because he felt off about how i initiated us talking from the beginning. that a girl should make a guy feel lucky to have her and that he also figured that since i was the first to make the initial move, that must’ve meant i've done this in the past with other guys.

kinda funny though considering he's the first guy i've ever tried talking to. im sure he realized after the thursday meeting (if he was still unsure) that i've never done this before. highlighted by my awkwardness + shyness. i remember there was a moment where there was a silence and i looked up to him looking at me. which kinda freaked me out and made me look down, and when i looked up again he was still staring at me. and legit i looked up and down for a solid 10-15 seconds. ugh im legit sooo awkward lol why can't i talk. but on a side note i just found out that some guys find a girl being shy as "cute". i hardly think he thought my behavior was cute though lol more so annoying for the fact that we ARE friends and i didnt know how to act like one.

i know that even though when i met him on monday for the first time (since like last year), i was even more shy. I would cover my face and mouth with my hands and not look at him that much. but he was able to control the conversation and kept making jokes etc etc. that was the main difference between the first meeting and the second. i was less shy in the second meeting but i guess my awkwardness was rubbing off onto him. i dont know how it'll go this week (heck idk if we'll even still meet) but i hope that i can be more myself and show him that im not as boring and awkward as ive been making myself out to seem. and i also hope he can take control again for when i DO slip up and get quiet.

but anyways back to the whole texting thing. i messaged him and it has been kinda choppy. tbh the flow of our texts is kinda similar to the flow of how our meeting went. choppy and silent lol. i keep thinking that he probably regrets talking to me and that he doesn't really wanna have communication with me anymore. it makes me feel sad. i want to bounce back at least through our texts but im not sure how to anymore. i forgot how we used to talk and how we used to be able to talk about nothing for hours. i dont know how to do that anymore which is weird considering that its only been 2 days since i was last able to. again i guess he's being nice about it but i feel like he's partly ignoring me again. like how he used to ignore me last semester. the only thing that made me kind of optimistic was how he mentioned that if i ever do come to see his dad at their store, his dad might think i was a druggie or something since not many desis come around to that area. he was basically trying to make a joke about my presence at the store after talking to his dad about another muslim customer that walked in. so that means he at least thought of me when he was joking with his dad. and then he sent me a snap afterwards of a song on the radio. which made it feel normal again.

i guess i might be overthinking everything but i KNOW that this next meeting will probably determine how things will go. i dont want to mess it up and i've been thinking of different ways to go about it. i wanted to text him and tell him how it's just hard for me to be myself with him in person still and i need to feel a little more comfortable around him before we can develop a flow in our conversations and stuff but then i figured i might as well tell him that in person. so at least thats one conversation we can have the next time i see him. plus he's a nice guy, one of the good ones, so i feel like if i told him how i genuinely feel and acknowledge the fact that im uncomfortable then he might feel the need to make me more comfortable. i also told “Amanda” about everything and she wants to come make a "guest appearance" the next time we meet up to kinda help navigate the conversation and make me feel more at ease with her presence.

i also DONT want to meet again at the cafeteria on campus. first of all, its soooo hard for me to hear him when we're in there. i guess bc of the kitchen and of the starbucks line and everyone sitting and talking near us and the fans overhead etc etc. i realized that one of the main reasons why our conversation was so choppy was also because i had made a mental list of everything i wanted to talk to him about (in hopes of not running out of something to say) but because of my list, i kept jumping from one topic to the next without actually stopping to LISTEN to what he had to say and then ask him a follow up question. like how the heck do i forget how to listen??? such common knowledge but of course i effed up on that too lol. another reason why i dont want to meet at the cafeteria is because i dont like sitting right across from him, it feels like we are in an interview and it doesn't help me relax but makes things worse for me. plus there's nothing to really do at the cafeteria. he eats only zabihah so we cant even order food. i was thinking maybe we could go to the gameroom and play a card game like uno or something. i know he wanted to go to the gym on campus and sit on the benches for the basketball court so we had more "privacey" aka not as many people around to bump into us lol but that's also kind of scary. because then we can't have a break and talk about someone we just saw and we would also be forced to pay 100% attention to each other. i dont know if i want him to pay that much attention to me when im acting all goofy the way that i am. but i know that if we go to the gym it would make more sense if “Amanda” bumped into us since she's always there exercising to begin with.

i just hope he hasn't given up hope on me. it's so weird to think about where we were a few days ago to where we are now. we were so comfortable and honest with each other. we still are honest and stuff but we aren't talking as much. we aren't sharing things anymore. it kind of feels like we are preparing for things to not work out. but i want things to work out. I know “Bill” and “Samantha's” relationship in the beginning was similar to ours. but they had the opportunity to see each other multiple times throughout the week so they got over this phase quicker. we only have the chance to maybe see each other once a week and since its a hassle for him to begin with he might just figure it's best to give up on the whole idea. i dont want him to give up on me.

i just realized its 12:01 AM and i missed Isha namaaz. so i have to make that up. i've been praying for him in my duas. before i would pray for his MCAT score and either an acceptance to medical school or for Allah swt to show him a path that will be the most beneficial and satisfying to him and his deen. now im starting to pray again and make dua that if we are meant to be then make it easy for us. (also for us to be meant for each other lol). i guess the reason why i feel so strongly for him is bc i haven't met any guy or even heard of another guy as hard working as him, as focused as him, as god fearing as him. we match in what we want in this dunyaa. and when i think about him in my future i see someone that i can pray with and be happy with. someone that i can feel safe with. i just hope he doesn't give up on me.

just take it one day at a time.

#muslim #muslimah #halal #browngirlsgang #hijabi #crush #love #relationships #deen #storytime #story #journal

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adtwixt · 5 years

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99 Gift Ideas Under $25

Alright, lets dive right in! Below, I have sectioned off each of these gift ideas under $25 to help you better navigate.

Gift Ideas for the Book Worm

Each of these are classic books that never get old. They are perfect for any individual looking to better their life, need a pick-me-up, or simply just love to read!

Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen: Allens best-selling book is the ultimate and perfect guide to productive living. In it, it sets up a foolproof productivity system that anyone can easily use. Makes the perfect gift for students, anyone who works at a desk, and stay-at-home moms.

Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things by Jenny Lawson: Next, this is among my top ten favorite books of all time. Lawson describes how she hilariously handles life living with anxiety and depression and brings the reader along for an epic, funny, and uplifting adventure. I cant recommend this book more.

What Now? The Young Persons Guide to Choosing the Perfect Career by Nicholas Lore: This is, hands down, the best book-gift I ever received. I read this book cover-to-cover and was able to decide, with confidence, my career path! This is the perfect gift for your favorite college student, high school senior, or young adult who is still trying to figure out their future.

Adulting: How to Become a Grown Up in 535 Easy(ish) Steps by Kelly Williams Brown: Speaking of young adults, this is another great book for your favorite 20- or 30-something. This is a step-by-step guide to being a functional adult.

You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living Your Life by Jen Sincero: This best-seller makes the perfect gift for anyone! It is an uplifting, motivational, and inspirational book that will pump anyone up to chase their wildest dreams and quit letting fear get in the way.

Looking for more book ideas? HERE is the list of 100 books everyone should read before they die!

Catch 22 by Joseph Heller: This classic, best-selling novel should be on everyones shelf! It is a humorous war novel and one of the most celebrated books ever written.

Eat, Pray, Love: One Womans Search For Everything Across Italy, India, and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert: Next, this best-seller is the perfect book for your favorite traveler. It follows a woman through her travels across the globe and what she learns along the way.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin: Another great classic is this gorgeous copy of Pride and Prejudice. It is a humorous, love novel about five women and their mothers attempt to marry them all.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak: Next is this best-selling novel that takes place in 1939 and follows a young foster girl who, you guessed it, steals book. It is widely known as a life-changing book and a must read of all ages.

The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien: My final book-gift recommendation is the first book in the Lord of the Rings series. It is a must read for everyone and is the perfect way to make someone fall in love with reading!

Related: 21 Life-Changing Books every 20-Something Should Read

Gift Ideas for the Chef

Next on the best gift ideas under $25 list is the top kitchen gadgets that are perfect for anyone looking to up their food game! Actually, I really think kitchen items make some of the best gifts for anyone really.

Tupperware Set: This is such a useful gift for anyone who has recently moved into a new or larger place.

Drinking Glasses: Another great gift for someone moving into a larger place or who is in desperate need of new drinking glasses (which is a surprisingly large amount of people!)

Plate Set: Again, another great gift for a newly move-in.

Silverware Set: The last of the kitchen essentials, silverware. A must have!

Silverware Organizer: Know anyone who just tosses their silverware into a drawer? Yeah, this is for them.

Kitchen Towels: A great gift for anyone! Plus, you can find some really fun seasonal sets and colors.

Kitchen Knives: A good knife set can really be life-changing. As a bonus, you can even include a knife-sharpener!

Taco-Holder: This is one of those cute little fun gifts that are perfect to add to a larger kitchen-themed gift!

Cookbook: There are so many great cookbooks out there that make perfect gifts. THIS is my current go-to book because it has everything!

Cookbook Holder: This is so useful when baking. Especially when you have messy fingers!

Looking for a bigger kitchen gift idea? Instant pots are where its at!

Kettle: These are amazing! I use mine everyday and would be lost without it! They are perfect for tea drinkers or anyone who boils water on the regular.

Waffle Maker: This is another fun gift that is great for anyone! (Makes the PERFECT exchange gift!)

Utensil Set: There are so many people out there who need this.

Noodle Strainer: A great, basic addition to any kitchen.

Smoothie Blender: These are perfect for your favorite health nut!

Cute Apron: Every good baker needs a cute apron.

Coffee: When in doubt, coffee makes a perfect gift.

Tea: Likewise, tea is a great gift too! You can never have too much.

Tea Infuser: These are great for people who are serious about their tea drinking.

Snacks: Finally, if youre really unsure, snacks/food make great gifts because you know they will be used/eaten up!

Related: The Ultimate Guide to Eating Healthy on a Budget and a Time Crunch

From food, snacks, utensils, tools and more, kitchen goodies make the perfect gift for anyone!Click To Tweet

Gift Ideas for the Commuter

Next, lets discuss some of the best gift ideas under $25 for your favorite commuter. This could be someone who drives everyday, takes the train, or simply has a bit of a walk before they reach their daily destination.

Coffee Travel Mug: Everyone can use a new travel mug.

Multi-Tool: Perhaps a more boring but definitely useful gift idea.

1 Month Audible Membership: Commuting can be incredibly boring, especially with traffic. Spice it up for your favorite commuter with some audiobooks!

Cute New Sunglasses: Sunglasses often get lost or broken throughout the year so they make great gifts (because you know everyone could use an extra pair!)

Headphones: Likewise, headphones dont last forever. Lucky for you, that makes them perfect gift ideas.

Portable Charger: Portable chargers can seriously be lifesavers when commuting.

Cute (and useful!) Keychain: Finally, a cute keychain can be the perfect addition to any gift.

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Gift Ideas for the Homebody

This next gift ideas section covers everything related to the home. These gifts are perfect for anyone who has recently moved into a new place or perhaps is in need of some new decoration. These also work great for anyone who likes to stay in on the weekends!

Flameless Candles: Most rental units (dorms, apartments, etc.) dont allow candles, which is why flameless candles are so great!

Picture Frame: A cute picture frame with a photo inside makes a great personalized and meaningful gift.

Monogram Cork Holder: These are so cute and are perfect for someone who loves wine!

Blanket: Cozy blankets make perfect gifts and are always useful.

Curtains: Curtains are like giving the gift of more sleep, especially with blackout curtains!

Cozy Socks: Cute, fuzzy socks are classic gifts and great for anyone who lives in a colder climate.

New Movie with Popcorn and Candy: Movies are always great gift ideas!

Diffuser: Every home needs a good diffuser. They serve double duty as a humidifier too!

Cute Throw Pillows: Throw pillows are a great addition to any home.

Plant Terrarium: These are so cute to add to any home and require very little maintenance.

Twinkle Lights: Lights can really transform any space into a cute and cozy atmosphere.

Re-Usable Bags: Many cities are getting rid of plastic bags. Help fight for the environment and give the gift of reusable bags! (They are SO useful too!)

Related: The Ultimate College Packing List for Dorms and New Apartments

Gift Ideas for the Workaholic or Student

Now, lets talk about some gift ideas for the workaholic or student in your life. These are perfect for anyone who often sits at a desk or uses a computer often. They can turn anyones ordinary desk supplies into extraordinary!

Student Planner: First, planners are among the best gifts you can get! THIS planner has everything your favorite student will ever need. As a bonus, it is printable! So you can download the files onto a USB and give them a copy so if they need an extra page of a certain layout, they have it at their fingertips.

Cute New Mug: A good coffee/tea mug is something truly special.

Blue Light Blocking Glasses: Many people spend countless hours in front of a screen. Make sure their eyes are protected (and headaches avoided) with a nice new pair of blue light blocking glasses.

Cordless Mouse: A good cordless mouse can make a huge difference to productivity. THIS is my favorite mouse, I swear by it.

Thumb Drive: Honestly, one can never have too many thumb drives

Laptop Case: When moving a laptop from place to place, it is incredibly important to keep it safe and secure.

Laptop Vinyl Stickers: These are so fun to add to any laptop and make a great gift!

Keyboard Cover: Keyboards get dirty so easily, a good cover is a great way to avoid this issue.

Tablet Stand: For frequent tablet users, a good stand can make a big difference.

White Board and Markers: These are perfect for a student who studies often!

Wooden Block Desk Calendar: Finally, these desk calendars make the cutest addition to any desk!

Related: College Backpack Essentials 21 Items you Must Carry With you at all Times

Gift Ideas for the Stationary Nerd

In addition to desk and computer supplies, lets cover some fun stationary as well! I love stationary, so I thought it deserved its own category. These gift ideas are relatively cheaper than the other ideas, so multiples can be paired together under $25 to make a great gift!

Bullet Journal: First, bullet journals are great productivity tools and make wonderful, slim journals that you can take anywhere!

Washi Tape: Add a pop of color or design to anything with removable washi tape.

Coletto Multi-Pens: These multi-pens make the perfect gift for anyone who loves pens. They are great for color coding tasks, drawing, and so much more.

Mildliner Highlighters: These make great highlighters, art markers, and more. They are much better than regular highlighters because they are less bright and have two different tips. They are perfect to pair as a gift with a bullet journal.

Stedler Fineliner Pens: Next, these are among the most popular pens on college campuses today.

Sticky Note Set: Everyone goes through sticky notes so quickly, which means they make great gifts!

Fancy Pen Set: A good, fancy pen is always a great gift! These make great pens to showcase in the professional setting.

Pen Case: An organized, new pen case is a perfect gift for anyone!

Cute Notebooks: Finally, a few cute notebooks is always a great gift for a stationary nerd.

Related: The Only Student Planner Youll Ever Need in College!

Gift Ideas for the Fit & Health-Nut

Next up includes a short list of gift ideas for anyone who is into fitness. These make perfect gifts for people who are often in the gym or workout on a daily basis.

Water Bottle: Many water bottles wear over time, making them great go-to gifts.

Infusion Water Bottle: Speaking of water bottles, check out these infusion bottles!

Yoga Mat: Yoga mats should also be switched out quite often, so they are killer gifts as well!

Yoga Dice: Speaking of yoga, these yoga dice are so fun!

Running Belt: These are perfect for runners who need to carry a few items but have no pockets (like most of us)!

Silicone Rings: Jewelry can get really banged up at the gym, prevent this with some fun silicone rings!

Exercise Bands: These are perfect for anyone who likes to workout at home or on the road traveling.

Meal-Prep Containers: Finally, meal-prep containers make great gifts and double as Tupperware!

Gift Ideas for the Traveler

Next, these gift ideas are perfect for anyone who travels often. This travel doesnt have to be far! It could just be frequent camping trips on the weekends, or perhaps they simply just spend a lot of time in their car!

Warm Scarf and Hat Set: First, it can be cold out there in the world! So a nice set of mittens and a scarf makes a great traveling gift.

Carwash Kit: Know someone who is always traveling in their car? A good carwash kit just might be what they need!

New Cosmetic Bag: Finding the perfect travel cosmetic bag can be difficult, which makes it the perfect gift! Check this one out.

Hammock: On the road, on the trail, in the airport (maybe?) hammocks are great travel companions if you need a good rest.

Coin Savings Jar: These are great little additions to anyones home and perfect to use to save up for an upcoming trip!

Shower Tote: Sometimes, traveling with toiletries can be a pain, but a good travel shower tote can take care of this!

Bluetooth Speaker: Speakers are perfect while traveling and can be used while hiking or staying in a hotel.

Scratch-Off Travel Map: Let your favorite traveler check off their destinations with this cute scratch-off travel map!

Travel Wallet with RFID Blocking Sleeve: Tourists are often vulnerable to identity theft and they dont even know it! Protect your favorite traveler with one of these fantastic RFID blocking wallets.

Packing Cubes: These are a great way to organize any suitcase!

Related: The 10 Hiking Essentials Everything You Must Carry With You On Your Next Hike

Gift Ideas for the Gamer

Last but not least are games! Board and card games make the perfect gift for so many people! They usually make great gift-exchange ideas and are perfect for anyone young at heart.

Sushi Go: First, this is a simple and fun card game perfect for 2-5 players. It involves picking one card, then passing it to the next player until all the cards have been picked.

One Night Ultimate Werewolf: This is such a fun party game! It is for 3-10 players and involves everyone closing their eyes and listening to the game app for instructions, then you must figure out who the werewolf is!

Flux: This classic 2-5 player game is a quick and fun draw-one-play-one card game.

Exploding Kittens: This is another fun card game where you loose if you find an exploding kitten. Super fun!

We Didnt Play Test This: This is a ridiculous 2-10 player card game that only takes about 1-5 minutes to play with very simple, yet strange rules.

Uno: Next, Uno is such a classic game I had to add it. It is perfect to throw into someones glove box for a rainy day or to add to anyones game collection.

Looking for more game ideas? Check out Amazons top selling games HERE!

Codenames: This game is slowly becoming one of my favorite party games. You break into two teams and choose one person per team to attempt to use just one word to have you guess images/words.

Exit The Game: SO. MUCH. FUN. This is like having an escape room in your own home!

Catchphrase: This classic timed game is perfect for parties and is always a blast to play!

Punderdome: This is a fun card game for pun-lovers.

Joking Hazard: Another fun card game that allows you to move comic-style cards around into a fun story!

Pictionary: Finally, this classic should also be in everyones game collection! Such a fun party game.

There you have it, my top 99 gift ideas under $25. I hope you found some amazing ideas and are ready to hand out some amazing gifts to your favorite people! Now, it is just time to wrap them up!

Looking for more gift ideas? Check out my Ultimate College Student Holiday Gift Guide with over 50 fantastic gift ideas!

The post 99 Unforgettable Gift Ideas Under $25 appeared first on The Olden Chapters.

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