#and apparently i have already made other ppl cry
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"congrats on the win king! it's your turn with the crown now."
note: this is based on and inspired by ranboo winning their first mcc and doing a little speech about how they found out about mcc through techno and i had to draw techno giving them a crown <3
#ranboo fanart#ranboo#ranboo art#ranboolive#ranboolivesaysstuff#techno fanart#techno art#technoblade#technofanart#technoblade fanart#technoblade never dies#mc championship#mcc fanart#technically#i cried drawing this#and apparently i have already made other ppl cry#so
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Fated Mates 3
Ao’nung x Fem! Human Reader
Warnings ⚠️ : No full on sex in this chapter (just a sliver of a flashback for you thirsty ahh ppl), very angsty chapter, long asf. Birth scenes kinda explicit stuff.
As always, English is stricken through.
I do wanna let y’all know idk what the family name for Ao’nung and Tsireya are so I had to make one up.
For Neytiri its the Neytiri Te Tskaha Moat’ite; for her children it’s Lo’ak Te Suli Tsyeyk’itan.
So for Ao’nung it’ll be Ao’nung Te Tswa’ìn Tonowar’itan. “Swahh-een”. I also decided to drop the I from Tonowari’s name since the word for ‘son’ starts with an i and if that shit happens in spanish we change the whole word so I’m trynna make it an easy read.
So it’s just “Tonowar’itan” (toh-no-war’ itan)
Translation Station
Ma’itan: My son
Ma’sempul: My father
Tawtute: Sky Person (used as “human”)
Tsaheylu: Bond (with kuru)
Sa’nok: Mother
Itan: Son
Yawne: Beloved
Tìyawn: Love (my love)
Nga yawne lu oer: Beloved you are to me (I love you)
Vrrtep: Demon
Um’ma: Mama
Pukap: Six (6)
Tsmuke: Sister
Tsmuktu: Siblings
Tahnì: Bioluminescent freckles
Kuru: Braid (neural queue)
Word count: 10.7 K because I got carried away again…
<<Previous | Next>>
I’d been at a loss for words as I stood in the water with a heavy feeling in my chest as I’d clearly made Ao’nung upset, but what pissed me off was how he was talking to me like I was a child who didn’t know anything. We’d been paired up together by his father so he could teach me how to fish, but I’d apparently been casting the net too early, alarming the fish and making them swim away. We’d have to stand still for a while before they felt safe enough to return and we’d start the process all over again.
“How is it my fault!” I yelled angrily, scaring away more of the fish that had felt it safe to swim back. I’d let him finish talking before I began because I knew it would give him another reason to be upset with me.
“I’d already told you to back off on casting the net, but you turn around and do it either way!” He yells back, his frustration is clear as the skin of his brows are furrowed as he yells at me.
“Well maybe you suck at teaching!” I returned his sass back to him, feeling it was unfair how he yelled at me. He knew I was strongest with weaving, singing, and dancing, I was starting to learn a little healing with Tsireya, but physical labor wasn’t for me.
“I don’t, you just suck at listening. And you’re too loud! Those feet of yours have never learned to be quiet, you keep splashing around and scaring these fish back to the other clans!”
“The loudest and most obnoxious thing right now is your voice!” I’d stated with a huff as I turned to pull my body up on the walkway to get away from this conversation, already turned around before hearing him speak again.
“And you think running away is going to help you learn?” He asks angrily while crossing his arms across his chest.
“No,” My voice trembled and I hated myself for it but I turned to face him with tears slipping out of my eyes after being humiliated by his words. “But at least I won’t be yelled at for not understanding.” I admitted and through the cloudiness of my tears could see his face shift, seeing Tonowari coming up behind him.
“Yawne-“ He starts but I shake my head and walk off, not bothering to listen to any explanation he had begun rehearsing in his head.
I’d managed to make my way toward my family’s marui and step inside, allowing myself to be welcomed into a hug by my adoptive mother as I cried in her arms, Jake coming next to us as he placed a hand on the small of my back, poor Tuk was sick today and was sleeping at this moment.
“It’s okay, kid, we’ve got you.” Jake reassures me as Neytiri pets my hair gently. If I couldn’t tell them about Ao’nung I don’t think I could ever tell them why I had been crying so I waited for my tears to stop coming and I’d calmed down a bit.
“Whats going on?” He asks and I take in a big breath.
“If I tell you, do you promise you won’t hate me again?” I asked not looking at any one of them specifically but I’m sure by the way Neytiri had stopped petting my hair that she knew I was talking to her.
“What is troubling you?” She asks as she starts petting my hair again.
“I feel guilty for keeping this from you, but I have to tell you whats been going on.” I admit and Jake lightly rubs the small of my back to urge me to continue.
So I tell them from the beginning about a month and a half ago when I’d been swept away from the current and how Ao’nung saved me but wasn’t aware of the sex pollen in the cave. I’d told them about our attempts to hide our relationship from the group and how Tsireya had noticed, becoming upset that her brother hadn’t confided in her, and how we finally introduced myself as his girlfriend. Then how Spider had become nosey and Ao’nung telling me we’d have to tell our friend group. How the two of us had this petty fight over fishing and how inadequate I felt with learning this new skill. Ending with the inner turmoil I’d felt myself fighting because I couldn’t tell them when in reality I just didn’t want Ronal to find out because I didn’t want a repeat with what happened with Neytiri when she found out.
“You think we haven’t noticed?” Jake asks with a small scoff.
“Y/n, you smell of him quite often.” Neytiri comments while continuing to caress my hair but I jump and look at them, the two were smiling gently.
“You- you aren’t mad at me?” I asked in a small voice, feeling like I deserved to be called out for moving on too quick, or for moving on at all? Mo’at has remained single this entire time and although I’m certain they don’t allow themselves to be mated to another and mourn their entire lives, she had been mated, Neteyam and I had not.
“Why would we be mad at you?” Jake asks but I’m focused on the beautiful omaticaya woman before me, wondering if she’d start yelling at some point, or capture her slip from the calmness she was portraying.
“Because- Neteyam,” I stated as if it were obvious and Neytiri’s face softened.
“Y/n, what I had done before was-“ She pauses as she speaks and looks like she’s trying to find the right words to say.
“I was wrong for what I had said and ma’itan had shown me that in the way he loved you, I have never truly apologized to you but I hope you can forgive me for how I had acted after finding out. I prided myself in having a son who would take over once Jake and I were no longer alive, wanting him to take over with a tsahik of his own and blinded myself in the perfect fantasy I built in my head, forgetting that Neteyam was his own person and had his own feelings.” She stated while looking back up at me, hand outstretched to place my cheek in as she continues holding eye contact.
“I am very well aware of how much you loved Neteyam, you would often look for him and the way it seemed that all of the weight left your shoulders when you found him was proof enough for me. The way you comforted him whenever he’d had an uneventful day or an unsuccessful hunt were the many ways that proved me wrong.” She tucks a piece of my hair that had suddenly fallen loose right behind my ear.
“You, too, are your own person with your own feelings. You are allowed to move on from this and feel love for another. Your life is not as long as ours is, therefore the part where you move on to enjoy life has to be celebrated as well. And I want you to know you have our full support.”
“Neytiri-“ My tears were blinding my vision and I’d started crying for the second time today as she embraces me with her arms, and I could feel warmth spreading all over.
“We want you to be happy, kid, no matter who thats with.” Jake stated as I feel him joining in on the hug and I let out some light hearted laughter at his words.
“When Ronal finds out- and she will eventually- you shouldn’t let her words get to you. She might have choice words to say as this is something new for her, but Ao’nung said he doesn’t care what his mother says, and thats exactly what Neteyam said to me. He will stick by your side and this little argument between the two of you is not the end and I doubt his mothers words will end your relationship, okay?” He reassures me and I nod into his shoulder.
“Atta girl,” He says happily and we all disband from our hug.
“Now if you could help us by watching Tuk while we go do- something, you would be helping us tremendously!” Jake places an enthusiastic smile and two thumbs up as he states that and I could only roll my eyes in fake disgust.
“For being my adoptive parents you guys are gross,” I joke but shoo them away with my hand.
“Go have your adult fun times but please do not make another child!” I whisper-yelled at them and can hear Jake’s chuckle before it stops abruptly after Neytiri had hit the back of his head.
“Don’t rush home either, Tuktuk usually doesn’t need much when she’s sick and likes to rest. I’ll just weave to keep myself busy, I’ll get her some fruit in a bit so she has something in her stomach.” I reassure the two as they thank me before leaving. I once again roll my eyes after they’d left and I could hear their little laughs, finding myself laughing lightly in the marui to myself.
“Well sleeping beauty,” I looked over at Tuk’s form as she slept peacefully. “It's just you and I.” I smile softly, walking over toward where Neytiri kept her yarn and began weaving a blanket.
_________
“That was quite the screaming match.”
I hadn’t bothered reacting to my father’s voice as he came up behind me, but turned to look at him with an unamused face, not really caring how rude it seemed to stare at him in that way.
“I’m sorry for causing a scene.” I apologized to him out of habit.
“No, ma’itan, I’m not the person you owe an apology to. You owe it to your mate.” He stated simply and I nod along to what he had said.
“I just want her to be-“ I stopped myself from continuing as my eyes move to face him, my face unmoved, I’d absentmindedly agreed to what he had said and started an explanation like nothing. I could tell he was hiding a smile but I wanted to scream- the biggest secret I had been hiding and he sniffed it out after an argument? How was I going to continue hiding this now.
“How?” I asked him, I knew he would understand why I had asked that, and awaited his answer.
“You do not think I know you?” He asks with a smirk on his lips. “You disappear from one task and not long after she is headed off in the same direction. I believed my mind was playing tricks on me until I caught your smell lingering with hers. No matter how much you two act like you cannot stand the other, you’re letting the act slip the longer you spend time together.” He says as I wince a bit at having been discovered.
“Is it that obvious?” I asked him while looking away in embarrassment, feeling his hand snake around my shoulders giving me a comforting squeeze.
“No, to everyone else you guys argue a lot, to the trained eye, it’s starting to become obvious. How did this start?” He asks and I can feel a blush building on my face, was this something I really wanted him to know?
“If you want my honesty, I’ll need you to pretend you aren’t ma’sempul for the moment.” I stated and he nods, taking his hand from my shoulder and placing it in his other hand.
“It started when she was swept by the current underwater.” I admit to him.
“That far back?” He asks in shock, it had been quite a while looking back at it but it also felt like this had just happened. I only look at him with an annoyed expression after he’d cut me off and he raises his hands in defense.
“Well two weeks before that I visited Neteyam in the spirit tree,” I rubbed the back of my neck as I tell him. “-without a diving partner, and he told me that he had chosen her as my mate because Eywa said I had a temper-“
And with that he chuckles as if he had agreed with that statement, I turn to glare at him once again and he holds his hands up in defense once more. Letting a small apology out as he looks back down to the water and urging me to continue.
“I took her to my thinking cave, the one with the white lilies, I swear I didn’t know the flowers were in bloom, she’d ended up getting some of the pollen on her hand and she wiped it on her leg, but later used that same hand to rub her face. I had no idea it affected tawtute the same way it does for us, but one thing lead to another and we mated without tsaheylu.”
“According to JakeSully, tawtute mating doesn’t need tsaheylu, according to her and her people, you have already bonded with her.” He stated wisely and I raise a brow at his words.
“Does he share with you from when he was tawtute?” I asked out of curiosity and he grunts, confirming what I asked.
“Some times I ask him as I get curious about his life before he became a Na’Vi. Especially after catching her smell on you the day after the union ceremony.”
“It must have been the blanket I’d given her to use to warm up in the cool night air, she had mentioned that tawtute are sensitive to temperatures and I wanted her to be comfortable for when she was introduced to Tsireya as mine.”
“You should apologize to her with a kind gesture, a gift.” He says and it catches me off guard.
“What kind of gift? I do not know what she prefers jewelry wise and am only able to make armbands, I doubt she’d need a spear-“ I started rambling off as he chuckles.
“Whatever you decide to make, use it to apologize to her, okay? I’ll tell the others you weren’t feeling well since you’ll be a little too busy to go on this hunt with us.” He cuts me off with a smile and I can only nod at his answer.
“I want you to know something, Ao, you will have many fights like these. Some will be easier to apologize than others. Some of them you will be wrong and some of them you will be correct- but apologize either way, even if you are correct. I can guarantee her own apology will follow after even if she was right.”
“Is that what you do when you and sa’nok argue?” I raised a brow and smile widely, not needing to hear his response.
“We are still together after many rotations, are we not?” He asks smugly and I let out a laugh.
“With that being said, women also like it when other people tell their mate they were in the wrong. In this case you wanted to teach her to fish, but you let your temper get in the way. You were in the wrong, itan, you must go make this right.”
“I see,” I nodded at him just as his right-hand-man shows up to ask about the hunting they’re supposed to be starting. My father tells him to gather anybody willing to participate and turns to me once he leaves.
“Make her an armband, she doesn’t wear much jewelry and I don’t think she’s the kind of girl to wear much. I will see you when I get home, okay?” He asks and I nod, turning to head over to our Marui to fix up a quick armband.
I’d managed to find the right materials but struggled to find the correct colored rocks and shells. There had only been one other time that I had asked her what her favorite color was and the answer had honestly shocked me. But I knew I had to incorporate it in the armband I was making and felt giddy once I stumbled upon the colors I needed.
~~~~~
“So what’s your favorite color?” I asked her as I slowly thrust into her, watching her greedy cunt swallowing me whole, whimpering at the sight and feeling.
“Is th-this really the time?” She struggles to think of her words stuttering badly.
“Yes yawne, I’ll let you come if you answer.” I tried keeping my composure but failing to do so with how well she took me, I was on the edge myself.
“It’s you,” she responds and meets my thrust halfway with the loudest moan ever, her eyes shutting at the pleasure.
“What?” I mutter and continue focusing on her face.
“You’re my favorite color-“ She sucks in a big breath. “Can I come now?” She asks as she holds her own hips back.
“Yes tìyawn, come-“
~~~~~
I’d decided on taking my time making my way toward her family’s marui so I could rehearse my apology. I didn’t want to leave anything out of it and wanted to make sure she still felt loved all around. I see half the curtain hanging over the entryway, most of the marui was darker and cooled down, while the other half was folded open to allow air flow into the room and prevent it from getting stuffy.
I can see Y/n sitting behind little Tuk as she took the poor girls braids out one by one. The poor forest girl looked like she had been tired and barely had any energy. She had been taking slow bites of fruit as Y/n finished off the last couple of braids.
“Hello,” Tuk stated with minimal effort and energy, she’d definitely just woken up from a nap, but her voice was raspier. Y/n’s head moves to the doorway and she thins her lips.
“Tuk Tuk, I’m going to step out for a second but I’ll be right there, call me if you need anything okay?” She reassures the younger Na’Vi and it makes my heart swell with pride at how sweet she is to the children, she steps closer toward the entrance and I move back to allow her the space she needs.
“Have you come to finish yelling at me for my fishing?” She asks in a calmer tone than the one she had earlier but she has crossed her arms over her chest and her eyes weren’t even meeting mine. I felt saddened by that.
“No Yawne, I came to apologize,” I spoke softly and although I’m nervous of her reaction I pull the armband out to show her. “I made you something,” I stated with a bit of a waver, she turns her face to look at what I had in my hand, her eyebrows had previously been furrowed in anger but the pop up after seeing the gift, her eyes finally sliding up to meet mine.
“Y-you made that f-for me?” She asks a voice barely above a whisper and she looks back down at it as she smiles. “It’s my favorite shade of you,”
“Would you like to wear it?” I asked her and she looks back up to meet my eyes, her bottom lip tugged between her teeth as she nods, giving me her hand so I can slide it on.
“This is my way of saying I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. I might not be a great teacher like I believed I was and I hate that I made you upset, I don’t like it when I’m the reason you cry, Tìyawn.” I’d held on to her one hand with both of mine as I apologized, feeling comfort in touching her in any way possible, taking note of how perfect the armband had fit her.
“It doesn’t excuse my own behavior but I didn’t like being yelled at as if I were a child, I already know I don’t know how to fish, or cast the stupid net, but I expected you to communicate with me on how to do it correctly. But I am sorry for raising my voice at you.” She stated tenderly and I couldn’t help but cup her cheek with my hand.
“You are not in the wrong here, it was me, and I hope you can accept my apology, little one.”
“Of course I do, Ao’nung, nga yawne lu oer.” She stated all of a sudden and I could only squat on my toes just to crash my lips onto hers right after she said that.
“Nga yawne lu oer,” I replied back toward her.
__________
“I now see why you continue running off, it’s a shame this is where you hide.”
We both turned our heads in unison toward the person who had spoken, standing before us and I knew we’d been caught. This was the person I had least expected to catch us, the very same person I’d been avoiding and desperately praying to Eywa so she wouldn’t catch us. A few feet in front of us stood his mother, who happened to be glaring directly at me, not once sparing a glance toward Ao’nung, and I would be lying if I hadn’t just felt my knee’s buckle.
“Unbelievable.” The disgust is very evident, dripping entirely within that word.
Instinctively I push against Ao’nungs chest to put as much distance between us as possible, trying to hide whatever embrace we’d had, although I knew she had seen it already. I felt empty right after feeling his warmth leaving me and I had to look down to stop myself from freaking out.
“I was worried about you after seeing you run into our marui but wanted to give you space to collect your thoughts. And when I had decided you might have had enough time sulking on your own, I head to our marui, only to see you making your way here.” She stated as the tone of disappointment stays in her voice.
“You followed me?” Ao’nung asks even though she had just stated that.
“I wanted to make sure you weren’t going to do anything stupid, only to find myself proven wrong.” She yells angrily and I flinch at the pitch she uses.
“Ronal, please-“ I begin pleading but am unsure where my words were going, but am also somewhat thankful for the hiss that cuts me off.
“Silence.” She continues glaring at me and my immediate response is to look down, maybe if I don’t look into her eyes, I won’t feel threatened, but that theory is tossed out the window.
“Have you mated with this vrrtep?” She pointed at me, a disgusted look settling on her features as I peek up and see her looking at her son, waiting for his answer.
“What if I did?” He asked too nonchalant for my liking. His body hadn’t been trying to face away from hers like mine was. I shouldn’t have been surprised since he has dealt with her more than I have, but she was a scary woman.
“She is a disgrace to every suitor you’ve had. She doesn’t stand near any of them. Why would you want someone you cannot bond with, ma’itan?” She asks with genuine concern for him.
“You are right, she doesn’t stand near them,” He stated and I felt my blood run cold. I looked up at him with pure sadness, had he resented me this entire time?
“She’s more than they will ever be. She has single handedly tamed my anger with her kindness. She has taught me how to be careful with someone else and being aware of my words and how much they could hurt another person. She has a strong heart, she is worth it to me.”
“You do not realize the implications of these words ma’itan. If you decide to mate with her before Eywa you’ll be stripped of your status.”
“No!” I yelled immediately as my eyes widened. Ronal smirked at my outburst and laughed a bit.
“You see, she only wants you for your status.” She states as if it was the clearest thing.
“I can’t allow that. It’s all you’ve wanted since you were young, I can’t let you lose your status over this-“ I stated as if I was pleading him, but this is exactly what I needed to do.
“You are confused, ma’itan, you do not even know what you mean to that vrrtep!” She exclaims and I feel as if it was another blow to the chest. This was exactly everything I wanted to avoid.
“Sa’nok-“ He begins before she starts once more.
“Do you not see how this vrrtep has corrupted you? I told your father to not allow them in even if they were trusted by JakeSully, I knew they would eventually mess something up, it was a matter of how. Come to me, ma’itan, we need to cleanse you.”
“Choose someone else.” I stated in a clear and steady voice. Although my heart felt itself break. I could only feel Ao’nung grasp my shoulders gently.
“No.”
“Please, let me go, choose another. You’ll still have the life you wanted-“ I felt the tears blur my vision so I turned around to stop looking at him.
“Not if I don’t have you in it.”
“I’m not worth it, choose someone else-“
“I’m not leaving you, little one, I’ve said that multiple times.” He tries reassuring me as my tears slide down my cheeks, how was I going to stop them.
“So you can be wise,” Ronal hums at my words as I was trying to get him to leave me.
“No, I only want you, I only see you, I only love you.” He stated as he forcefully turns me around. Tears continuously sliding down my face.
“I can’t bond with you-“
“I don’t care about that, little one, we bond in different ways.” He holds my face with one hand gently.
“I’ll die too fast anyway, we can’t have kids. She’s right, this is only a fantasy that’ll never work. I’ve done this once before and didn’t learn the first time.” These reasons were resurfacing from Neytiri’s previous conversation within me when she’d found out those years ago, reasons to why I was not fit for her son, reasons I am not fit to be with Ao’nung.
“Neteyam told me different, ma’tìyawn, he told me he Eywa needed his help in choosing a mate for me and he chose you as my mate, Eywa agrees with his decision. He told me we can have children of our own and told me your age will slow down with mine after completing our mating.” He explains in a gentle manner.
But the way he’d stated that with ease, he had never told me about that previous to today, and I could feel my head dizzying at his words, when the hell had he been told about this?
“When, when did he tell you?” I asked because I just had to know. He remains silence but face fallen into a wince as if he’d meant to either keep that a secret or expect his words to change my opinion without problem.
“When the fuck did he tell you this?” I asked in a harsher tone after his silence.
“Two weeks before we went to the spirit tree, but I-“
“That was two months ago and you’re only telling me this now?” I pulled myself away by pushing on his chest to let go of me, I knew there was no way I’d hurt him but with the way he backed up as if I had worried me a bit.
“Yawne I-“
“You need to leave.” I stated as I squeezed my eyes shut tightly.
“What?” He asks in disbelief upon hearing my request.
“Leave, go!” I yelled at him and he seems shocked. He looked like he was about to refuse leaving, he held onto hope more than I could, but before voicing his opinion the sound of water suddenly splashing had caught our attention. I turned back to Ronal to see her staring at the space between her feet, a protective hand placed around her swollen abdomen.
“Great mother, why now?” Ronal groans as she protectively places a hand on her swollen belly. Typically when a NaVi’s water breaks you had about thirty minutes or less for when the child arrived, so even if their gestation lasted about a year, their births happened incredibly fast. But with her being Tsahik and going through her labor meant she’d either need the help of the retired Tsahik- who was her deceased mother in law- or the Tsakarem, her daughter.
I glanced over at Ao’nung who was standing with his eyes widened. I could only figure he had never seen his mother in this position and if he had, he was a toddler when Tsireya was born so he didn’t have any experience when it came to these things.
“Agh!” Ronal screams as she holds onto her abdomen.
“Get her into the water-“ I run into the Marui and see Tuk is still awake, half finished with her fruit, I’m sure she’s heard everything that had happened but her face seems unfazed.
“TukTuk, please tell me you’re well enough to go for a swim?” I asked in the most hopeful tone possible and she nods, getting up from her mat, following behind me as I grab a couple things from the marui. I step back out with Tuk behind me and see Ao’nung full on carrying his mother with a worried look in his face.
__________
“Come on Um’ma, let’s get you into the nice cool water, I think you’ll feel better there,” I try reassuring her as I continue to hold her, her weight becoming less as she floats in the water, her groans coming out in short spurts, she’s gritting her teeth and her eyes are looking around.
“What now, Y/n?” I ask as she has Tuk hold the things she was carrying, while she hops down from the walkway onto the stairs and into the water, Tuk carefully handing Y/n everything.
“Let her stand in the water, Tsireya said it helps with tearing, she’ll be on her feet, make sure her lower back is covered.” She instructs and I follow along as I do what she says, my mother sighing in relief, one of her hands grasping mine suddenly and refusing to let go.
“And now?” I ask as she fumbles with her equipment, I can see various towels, a blanket, the knife Neteyam made for her, and a clamp. I’m not entirely sure what these were for but she finally comes over toward me, stepping directly in front of my mother, a hiss ripping through her as soon as she see’s Y/n.
“Hiss all you want but we don’t have much time before your child gets here and Tuk is too sick to get help.” Y/n stated and as I look on over toward where Tuk was, the poor girl had already passed out on the walkway snoozing along and getting her rest.
“If you want I can get another woman from the clan whose given birth before but I doubt they’ll get here by the time your baby is born.” Y/n stated firmly upon looking at my mother before taking a deep breath and going under the water, I could tell she started untying my mothers skirt and I blushed while looking away.
“I dislike how helpful she is, even after I insulted her-“ She manages to grumble between her groans and grunts.
“She is always like this, Um’ma, I love her.” I stated and my mother hisses again. Y/n resurfaces and steps around behind me.
“You’ll need to push her lower back, here, when she starts pushing, it helps relieve pain, or something like that. She’ll squeeze your hand and it’ll hurt you, but remember she’s in more pain than you will be.” She pointed toward her lower back and I could see my mothers tail fidgeting in a similar pattern from when we all hurt ourselves unexpectedly.
“Ronal-“ She steps back around as my mother is hunched over. Her anger from beforehand is gone as she continues breathing.
“You’ll need to spread your legs further,”
“I know how to give birth, child, this is my third- AGH!” She yells gutturally after her half insult, but follows Y/n’s order and spreads her legs further.
“Push when you feel the need to,” She tells my mother just as she’s moaning or groaning, maybe grunting, all at the same time, before looking back at me. “Every time you hear her make that sound, press where I showed.”
“Push Ronal,” She takes a deep breath before going back under and checking for how my mother is doing.
“Please respect her, she’s doing better than I am over here.” I utter just as she starts making that sound again and I push on her back, I could hear the sound lessen as if I was helping relieve pain. She takes a quick break to breathe before pushing again.
“Something feels wrong, it hurts more-“ She gasps.
“Don’t quit, Um’ma, keep pushing.” I encourage her as she starts yelling painfully while pushing.
“What do you see in her,” She catches her breath again as she pushes.
“The same things dad saw in you, she’s kind, caring, compassionate, adorable, and willing to put up with me.” I answered as she begins pushing and yelling again, I pushed on her back once more.
“Stop pushing!” Y/n resurfaces suddenly and my mother looks bewildered.
“Why on Eywa’s life would I do that!” My mother hisses.
“He’s coming out feet first, his cord isn’t coming out like it should and I’m scared its wrapped around his neck.” She stated.
“He?” My mother isn’t asking, more as if she were in shock.
“I’m having another itan.” She stated wobbly as her tears cascaded down her face.
“The next contractions will hurt like hell but I need you to try and not push during them, if you do, the constriction will cut off blood flow to the-“
“Ma’tìyawn, you’re rambling in English,” I stated as she looks up immediately with a blush.
“Try not to push when you feel the need to, I know it’ll be hard-“
“The pain is too great for me, I do not want to lose ma’itan,” Her tears fall down more rapidly as she weeps, her hold on my hand getting harder.
“Don’t say that. You are Tsahik of the metkayina, you fought tawtute mounted on a tsurak while heavily pregnant, you have birth twice before, how is this one any different!” Y/n states and I can see a passion in her eyes as she says these things.
“You are admired by many in the clan and you have been standing before other mighty warriors who have given birth telling them that all would be well. Don’t give me that shit, Ronal, you can fucking do this.”
My mother nods as another contraction hits her, she trembles badly and looks down before her face is picked back up by ma’Y/n with both of her hands.
“Don’t fucking quit on me, Ronal.” She stated as my mother starts yelling through her contraction, I push on her back regardless as it dies down.
“Once the shoulders are out you’ll be done, okay?” Y/n states as she takes another deep breath and sinks down below to check on my baby brother.
“That is why I love her, Um’ma,”
“Maybe I was wrong about her-“ She sucks in a big breath and clenches her teeth. Y/n swims closer to her and my mother yells once more.
Just then a bit of blood fills the water where Y/n and my mothers legs are, her hand has let go of mine as she sighs in relief, Y/n popping up without my brother.
“Where is he?” I asked in shock upon not seeing my brother.
“About to take his first breath.”
First breath, the tradition where, when allowed, the baby is supposed to swim upward after being born to take it’s first breath. The first right of passage coming into the clan.
“The cord was only loosely wrapped around his neck, probably because you held back on your pushes, all I did was unwrap it, clamp it, and cut it.” Y/n stated and seconds later he pops up, the physical sound of him taking his breath bringing us relief in that moment.
I couldn’t help but look at my baby brother in awe at the smallest patches of hair on his head, his little nose, his kuru being naked and small, Y/n is quick to pick him up and turn him to place him on my mothers chest. Taking my hand to place it on my brother’s abdomen as I watched him breathe. My mother started crying out of pure joy upon seeing my brother.
“Let us connect these, huh?” She grasped my mother Kuru gently and connected it with my brothers, creating the first bond any child creates- with their Um’ma. She’d gone at some point to bring the blanket to wrap him around in and I couldn’t help but smile at him.
Spending this time with my mother and brand new sibling was a joyous time, but when I’d turned around to see where Y/n had gone my smile falters as she and little Tuk were nowhere to be found.
_________
That goes without saying that once I’d come back into the marui with Tuk- after helping Ronal give birth- her parents had come back and were wondering where we went. I once again had to fill them in on the situation starting from the moment Ao’nung had come to give me my armband and ending with coming back with a still sick Tuk. They were surprised about Neteyam hand picking Ao’nungs mate and they did have questions to which I did not have the answers to.
After helping the Tsahik giving birth, I’d taken it upon myself to stay out of her and her families sights. I knew the words she had spoken when she had caught myself and her son together were spiteful yet truthful. There was no way that my assistance in her birth would change the way she felt about me. And I would say I’ve been doing well, I’ve avoided them for two and a half weeks by this point, but I did have a little help from the Sully’s. I’d essentially made myself disappear from their lives.
We made sure to always walk in pairs of three whenever we were out. If they happened to catch Lo’ak, Kiri, Spider, Tuk, Neytiri, or Jake the other person with us would tell me to go the opposite direction or hide somewhere to avoid having to make any contact with them.
While I was in the marui, Tsireya had come wanting to talk to me, but due to Lo’ak loudly stating that he wasn’t sure if I was there, gave me the chance to escape by diving into the water and swimming underneath the marui until she had left in disappointment. I was willing to take any measure I could to avoid them, Ronal had made it clear where she stood with me, so I wanted to make it clear to her that I understood her boundary.
“Theres supposedly a banger going on tonight,” Lo’ak stated as we all huddled into a little family meeting.
“What would you like to do, Y/n?” Spider asks as all eyes turned to me.
“You guys make it seem like they’re actively searching for me, the only time anyone came here was Tsireya a while ago. None of them have asked about me so I’ll just stay here.” I stated while weaving a blanket for Tuk, when she was sick she claimed she felt cold and didn't have a comfortable blanket on her.
I told her that if she could find some yarn she felt comfortable with, I’d take it and make a blanket out of it for her. She’d found the right one two hours after I said that and said she spent the entire two hours hugging yarn from the yarn lady, who had been awkwardly staring at Tuk while assisting her- or so thats the story from her ten year old perspective.
“Would you like one of us here with you?” Jake offers and I laugh.
“You guys should go enjoy the party, as long as you have fun thats all that matters.” I admit.
“We could even take shifts, I can stay for the first part and come get one of the kids to cover for an hour at a time-“
“It’s been fifteen days since Tsireya came here, thats half an Earth month, I will be fine, nobody is coming in here.” I reassure him and he only thins his lips.
“Go have fun, just bring me back something sweet, okay?” I asked and they all seemed to agree.
It did take a bit to get them all to leave but they did take their time leaving little by little. It started off with Jake and Neytiri leaving at the start of the little celebration, Kiri had left with Tuk since the younger one had started to get hungry. I had been left with Lo’ak and Spider, the two most stubborn people ever.
It didn’t help that we were mostly sitting in silence so I suggested we played a game. Spider had smiled happily as he remembered Jake had hidden a deck of Uno somewhere around here. Something about him having brought the game over from home in case the kids were bored.
“You definitely have a draw four, Y/n, don’t lie!” Spider yells angrily and I roll my eyes, placing a reverse card to switch the order we were going in already.
“Hell yeah!” Lo’ak exclaims as he places a wild card of his own, switching the color to red.
“No fair, you know I don’t have any red!” Spider states while continuing to draw, having drawn twelve cards before finally placing a red one down. I place my own red reverse down on the deck and try to hide my laugh.
“Uno,” I call out as I held my last card.
“Not funny.” Spider is already pissed and I knew this would get him to leave soon.
“Draw four!” Lo’ak stated after Spider luckily had to draw two cards before getting a red, but I smirk as I pull the draw four my brother said I had and stack it on top of Lo’ak’s.
“Red.” I stated the color and Spider throws his variety of yellow and green cards down angrily.
“You guys always fuckin cheat, I’m out.” He yells as he stands to walk out of the marui while Lo’ak and I laugh.
“Do you think we were mean to him?” I asked as I gather the cards.
“Nah, we’re the dream team, plus the look on his face was worth it.” He smiles widely while handing me his own cards.
“I’m thinking about heading out and meeting up with ‘Reya, you’re sure you’ll be okay?” He asks and doesn’t even bother getting up. Had the circumstances been different he would have started standing up already, not waiting for an answer as he headed out toward his girlfriend.
“I’ll be fine, Lo, honestly wanna get this blanket done so Tuk stops asking me if its done,” I smile as I take the half finished project I had with a grin.
“She has no patience.” He agrees as he stands up.
“I’m sure the others have forgotten but I’ll bring you back something sweet, kay?” He states.
“Thank you, you’re my favorite brother!”
“I always have been,” He chuckles as he slips out of the marui.
It doesn’t take too long before the curtain ruffles again and I’m surprised at how fast anyone had returned but keep my focus on my project.
“Did you forget some-“ My eyes wander up and see the person I’d least expected standing in the marui, before me stood the teal goddess I used to spend a majority if my time with.
“Y/n!” She yells excitedly in a hushed voice and it pained me to see her excited.
“Tsireya-“ I stated in shock, just staring at her, how is it the one night Jake asks me of I’m certain I could handle being alone that Tsireya pop’s back up right when I least expected it, especially after a while of not seeing her.
“Hi sweets,” She says softly while waving at me from the entrance, my blanket project long forgotten, using my term of endearment for her, on me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in confusion as Lo’ak had just stepped out to meet with her, how long would it take him to notice she wasn’t out there.
“I came to take you to get ready,” She stated as if it were obvious why she was here, but I was still lost.
“Get ready? For what?” I asked her two questions and I notice she’s looking past me with a smile. I turn and don’t notice anything there and look back at her.
“You’re still wearing it.” She stated and I look back down on my arm and the realization hit, I had completely forgotten about the armband being on my arm as it was comfortable, kind of like it was meant to be there.
“Now come on,” She steps closer taking my hand and I couldn’t help but allow myself to be dragged on by her since I’d missed hanging out with her for two and a half weeks, maybe spending some time with her wouldn’t hurt.
She’d brought me to a waterfall I’d yet to see before and made me wash my hair, I was confused at first but thought this was more of a girls-day type thing. As she had waited for it to dry before braiding it intricately, I’d just sat there and waited for her to finish. Just when she had finished, I turned to look at her as she gasps, holding both hands over her mouth in awe.
“What? Do I look bad in braids?” I joke but she shakes her head.
“You look beautiful,” It wasn’t until now that I could feel some of the beaded accessories she’d placed in my hair.
“We need to head back over,” She states and I could only imagine she meant back in the marui which is why I didn’t mind when she grabbed my arm once more.
“Come on-“ She gently tugs as she runs in front of me.
“Where are we going?” I let out a laugh as I’m essentially out of breath from chasing after her.
“You’ll see, come-“ She tugs me again with an excited smile on her features, one that made me forget my surroundings only because I hadn’t been near her in a while, I truly missed spending time with her.
“You need to walk through,” She states as we stand behind some curtains of some sort but I look at her weirdly.
“Is someone killing me if I step through?” I asked, wondering if her mother was on the other side of the curtain.
“Just step through,” She says with a smile and my curiosity peaks finally stepping through the curtains, being placed on a stage in front of the clan, eyes widening.
“Kaltxì-“ I nervously stated, just to see Ronal stepping up, I look down immediately and try backing up through the curtains again, there was no way I am going to stay here.
“Hey-“ I bump into someone and their hands are on my shoulders, I only turn my head upward and see Ao’nung looking down at me, my brows furrow in confusion and before I could say anything Ronal turns to address the clan.
“We’re gathered as a clan today to celebrate the union of my son, and his mate Y/n.”
“What?” I asked in complete shock and disbelief, but my voice only having been a whisper, nobody hearing me as the cheers of the crowd had grown.
She turns to look at her son, arm stretching out overtop of me, essentially being caged in by two Na’vi bodies. Her hand reaches to what I assume is his cheek.
“A mother will always love her son for their entire lives, but your life is only beginning with her, take care of her and love her more than you have ever loved me, ma’itan.” She speaks gently to him and he squeezes my shoulders gently as she looks down at me, I want to look away but she places her hand on my cheek, the sudden act of affection catching me off guard.
“You have shown me that I was wrong about tawtute. You helped me during a great time of need and I can see how you have loved ma’itan. You are strong and capable of many things that I was too blinded by my own prejudice to see. You are a worthy mate for him. Oel ngati kameie, Y/n.” She stated and placed her finger on her forehead, extending it toward me as she said that.
“Now if you are agreeable to your own union, I would like to speak blessings upon the two of you.” She stated as she awaits my answer.
“You said you didn’t want your son with a vrrtep-“
“I know what I have said and I was wrong. I am hoping you can accept my deepest apologies. When I was giving birth, you helped me even after the nasty things I said to you, you were willing to let ma’itan be happy and keep his status by trying to leave him, you were willing to sacrifice your happiness for his.” She stated with tears welling up in her own eyes. “I am not a perfect mother, but I try to be, and seeing how happy he is when he talks about you proves he follows his heart, just as closely as he follows you.”
“You already know how I feel about you, Yawne,” Ao’nung speaks gently, I crane my neck backward just to catch him looking at me with a sweet smile.
“I missed you so much,” I place my hand on top of his, which remained on my shoulder and I give him a light squeeze.
“I missed you too yawntutsyìp,”
“What do you say?” Ronal asks and I give her a small nod.
And she starts letting the many blessings fall from her tongue. Starting with the growth of the clan by the union we were sharing and blessing each of us separately, that Eywa may use us to assist in her workings as well as blessing us with many children- even though I felt that would never happen.
“And before the clan you must speak your vows. As always, the male will speak first.” She nods toward her son as she steps to the side and he steps from behind me, turning to face me- from what I’d seen during the other ceremony’s I follow his steps and face him, to have him squat on his toes so he is eye level with me, our hands holding each other.
“With these words I present my vows to you, Y/n Y/m/n Socorro, as your faithful mate.” He stated the typical introduction before looking right into my eyes with a small smile as he speaks words from his heart, my eyes tearing up as I try holding my big fat cry-baby tears for nothing since they slide down my cheeks.
“With these words I present my vows to you, Ao’nung Te Tswa’ìn Tonowar’itan, as your faithful mate-“ I start my own vows and for the first time I notice the tears collecting in his eyes as I continue.
“Now you may turn, and let Eywa decide your familial fate.” Tsireya speaks loudly and notice the garment placed before us. The biggest shell catching my eye, it was the color of their ocean and I smile.
“Ready?” He asks while squeezing my hand affectionately.
“Get closer to it so we can step on it at the same time,” He gently pushes the small of my back and I feel nervous, looking back at him as he lifts his leg.
“On three,” He reassures me and I nod. I knew it was wishful thinking but I closed my eyes harshly and slam my foot down on the shell as hard as I can, opening them and turning toward him, not even bothering to look at the pieces.
“Pukap!” Tsireya yells as everyone cheers and my shocked face turns to see the shell having broken into six unequal pieces, I look back at my now husband in shock, he’s smiling excitedly.
“Having four children is a big blessing, tsmuke,” Tsireya says as she waits for us to pick our respective pieces.
_________
Having Kiri, Spider, Lo’ak, and even little Tuk on my side on this day has proven effective. They had mentioned how Y/n was wanting to avoid me and I found it devastating at first but completely understood where she was coming from.
I’d planned this entire thing myself but was honestly thankful to Y/n’s tsmuktu for helping me and allowing this entire thing to happen. I was happy to have the love of my life forever now, officially.
Knowing we’d have four children was unexpected but a blessing nonetheless, but could tell that having children was still something Y/n was not expecting. I could tell she was skeptical but I knew it would happen.
She picks up a piece of the shell that I was eyeing myself and felt saddened by it but accepted it, until she turns and hands it to me. I look at her in surprise as she smiles.
“I figured this was the piece you’d like the most,” She stated shyly and I smile, taking it from her grasp.
“Thank you little one, does this mean I get to pick yours?” I asked her and she blushes before looking down and nodding.
Something of this nature had only been done one other time before- I’d heard the stories many times around the fire pit- my own parents union ended like this, but it was not a story Y/n had heard before, which was what warmed my heart the most, looking up at my father I can see him smiling at my mother with adoration.
“This one,” I pick up a piece thats similar to the shape she often shows me with her hands, a heart is what she calls it.
“It’s perfect,” She smiles as she takes it and I couldn’t resist the urge after she’d said that.
“You’re perfect.”
She blushes and looks away before I use my fingers to bring her chin back up to make her look at me, her face looking adorable, it felt warm underneath my fingers.
Before either of us could say anything, many people joined in on the traditional first song sang after the shell being broken, the garment being thrown around us as everyone joined to happily sing. It doesn’t take long for the song to finish and I have another place in mind where we could be.
“Would you do me the honors of following me?” I ask her and she furrows her tiny brows in confusion but takes the hand I had offered her and we start walking toward the beach.
“Where are we going?” She asks once we’re pretty close to stepping into the water.
“The spirit tree.” I admit as I call an Ilu over, stepping into the water, tugging her arm gently to get her closer to me.
“But first,” I settle her onto the Ilu before sliding on after her, placing my arm protectively over her waist. “We need to talk.” I’d sat her backward so her back was toward the Ilu’s head, as she faced me, my arm gently running across her spine to reassure her that it was nothing bad. “We’ll have to go the long way so we can sty above water, okay?” I state again.
“What is there to talk about?” She asks shyly and tucks her own hair behind her ear while looking at the ocean, eyes hesitant to look back on mine.
“A lot of things, Tìyawn,” I stated as the Ilu moves forward.
“Why would you visit Neteyam?” She asks and I’’m glad she does, I’m surprised she’d managed to get the hint.
“I felt guilty for how I’d spent a majority of the time he was here bullying him and your tsmuktu instead of trying to make friends with everyone. And I was lonely really, having two tawtute join the clan when you hate them was hard, he gave me an escape and we talked about anything and everything.” I share with her.
“Why didn’t you tell me about visiting Neteyam?” She asks.
“I didn’t see it as something I needed to share, but I was wrong on that.
“What did he say to you?” She doesn’t have to specify the night she was talking about and I look down with a soft smile.
“He said Eywa came to him to tell him she had trouble choosing a mate for me, and he said the only person he could think of was Y/n,” I tell her, placing my finger gently on the tip of her nose as she smiles at my action. “I look at him confused because that sounds like a word in your vrrtep language, he laughs and tells me thats your name and I am to use it to address you.” I explain and she nods along.
“He says he has chosen you as my mate because of how sassy you are, but that you were very sweet. He said you were captivating in every way possible.” Her eyes are widened in awe as she listens to the story.
“But you know me, I was stubborn, didn’t want to hear it but continued asking questions about how he knew these things and he finally tells me the two of you were courting. I was surprised, because nobody has ever heard of a union between tawtute and Na’Vi, I didn’t want to hear anymore and broke my connection with the spirit tree.”
“Do you regret it?” She asks in a tiny voice but I’m unsure of what she meant.
“If you mean disconnecting my kuru and swimming away from what he said, yes, if you are asking if I regret being with you, never.”
“Do you think you could do me a favor?” She asks nervously chews on her bottom lip.
“For you I’d do anything, all you have to do is ask.”
“Can you connect to the spirit tree and tell him I said thank you, for everything?” She asks sweetly and I nod.
“It should be me thanking him, little one, but I will tell him anything you want.”
“Can you tell him to visit me in my dreams?” She asks hesitantly and seems as if she regrets saying that.
“I will.” I reassure her just as we exit the retaining wall and turn to go to the spirit tree.
Arriving at the spirit tree had planted a smile on her sweet little face. The illuminated space was beautiful during this time of night and seeing her face lit up was even better.
“Your tahnì!” She states as she looks at my chest, smiling widely, letting her hands slide down my arms.
“I want you to sit up here while I dive, okay?” I state as I take her by the waist, lifting her off the ilu and up onto the magnetic rock walkway she had sat on once before.
“Please be safe,” She expresses concern on her beautiful face and I couldn’t help but kiss her, it had been a while since we did that.
“Just for you,” I reply before dipping my head below the water and heading over toward the petals. Grabbing my braid and looking at the tendrils sliding out of it, looking back up through the water and seeing my love’s little feet in the water, I look back at the petal before connecting my kuru and allowing my mind to calm itself.
~~~~~~
“It’s nice to see you again.”
I wince as his voice has remained the same. He didn’t sound angered one bit, I allowed my nerves to busy themselves as I observed the scenery before me and it comes as a shock that we aren’t in the forest like we usually are.
“We are home, why?” I asked as I turn, looking at the sky, before settling back on him.
“Change of scenery. I was getting bored in the forest.” He states nonchalantly.
“Neteyam, I want to apologize for leaving abruptly when I did-“
“It appears I was right hmm?” He raises his brows in amusement, smiling wide. “She has humbled you.”
He comments and I’m blushing.
“You had it the moment I told you about her.” He smiles and I’m in awe.
“She is everything you said she would be and somehow even more.” I respond and he nods.
“She is your wife now, I take it.” He asks and I can’t stop myself from nodding as a childlike spirit with no real body runs up to him.
“Neteyam, can you-“ The little spirit cuts itself off from talking as it catches a glimpse of me.
“Hello there,” I wave at the adorable white glowing orb, its body mostly glowing so I couldn’t really make out the gender.
“Ma’sempul!” The little spirit flies over to me and tackles me happily bouncing all over my chest.
“I’m afraid you have me confused with someone else, I’m not your-“
“This is the spirit of the first child you are set to have between yourself and Y/n.” Neteyam says as he gently picks the child up and off my chest.
“Those exist here too?” I asked in disbelief as Neteyam nods.
“Yes,” He smiles at me before turning the kid around and pushing them by the shoulders. “It’s not your time to head out into the world yet, but soon, I’ll be back in a second to play with you okay?” He reassures the tiny spirit and I feel my heart ache at the sight of them leaving.
“For obvious reasons I cannot tell you much about them, only that they will definitely be a handful.”
“As long as I have Y/n, I’ll be alright.” I admit and Neteyam nods.
“That is true, how-“ He cuts himself off and I only smile as he tries fitting the words the way he wants.
“How is she?” He asks with genuine curiosity.
“I would love to tell you, but she told me to make sure and tell you to visit her in a dream. Maybe there you can catch up. Maybe destress together, if you catch my drift.” I stated and his eyes widened.
“Think about it, okay? I’ll make sure to tell her to enjoy herself. It’s the least I could do for you.” I smiled at his shocked face.
“Thank you for coming to see me again.” Neteyam stated pleasantly before the little spirit started walking back over. “But my hands are full at the moment so I will see you another time, yeah?” He asks and I nod.
“I’ll visit you again, and thank you for everything Neteyam.”
“You’re welcome, Ao’nung.”
I opened my eyes as soon as I pulled my Kuru from the spirit tree, feeling a sense of relief flooding through me as I’d finished my visit with Neteyam. Kicking my feet as I floated upward closer to the surface to meet my wife.
__________
I’m not one to write notes at the bottom of the story but I didn’t wanna spoil anything up there^^ but I have a question for y’all if you could answer in the comments
Should I include a Neteyam x Y/n dream scapes smut for the next chapter? She won’t get pregnant off of it but I figured I’d ask to see what you guys wanted. And it also doesn’t help that Doja cats “Shine” was playing in my ear and I got to the part where she says “Yeah I’m fucking Mike, Dick was hella mean, slipped in so nice” 😖😫
This is legit the only reason I posted this chapter a lil earlier, just to get y’alls opinion in how the next one should go… the more feedback I get the faster I can start the next one… tysm
#avatar smut#avatar#avatar the way of water smut#afab reader#human reader#aonung#aonung x reader#aonung x reader smut#ao’nung x reader#ao’nung#ao’nungxhumanreader#aonung x female reader#ao’nung x female reader
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if we're doing batpham stuff i have to share the terrible but hilarious au in my head
dark danny/dan is "redeemed" kinda , (clockwork made him half human again and he's feeling things in a way that he hasn't since he merged with vlad and he hates it)
anyways things go badly
maybe bad parents maddie and jack but also could be dead protecting their 4 kids and their liminal friends
dan, jazz, danny, ellie, tucker, sam and valerie get to the ghost zone
clockwork being both super powerful and super unhelpful drops them into the gotham of another universe without so much as a by your leave and deages then
dan's 18/19, jazz is 13, danny, ellie, sam, tucker, and valerie are all 8
which you know is already stressful but apparently deageing doesn't make any of them any more human then they were before the deageing
so here dan is still half ghost (unsurprising bc he got those powers at 13 him still having them makes sense)
jazz is an empath (being 13 is bad enough without the ability to feel other ppls emotions dan actually feels really bad for her)
valerie still has her ecto-exoskeleton (which he didn't realize until val fell off a building and holy shit was that terrifying)
sam has the plant powers being possessed by undergrowth gave her (looks like that joke he made back when he was danny about her being an eco-terrorist isn't going to be a joke anymore)
tucker has magic still (gods dan wants to cry, he loved tuck like a brother but the boy had shit self control when he was 18 who thought giving him magic at 8 was a good idea)
and danny and ellie are both still half ghost (which holy fuck dan realizes that there's no anti-ecto laws in this world but child trafficking is still a thing and these brats are powerful !)
anyways they're making due
they found a place to squat in the ally there's a lot of theft happing with dan's ghost powers
right up until jason finds dan standing over joker's dead body with a gaggle of brats behind him
and jason always figured that he'd fall for whoever killed the joker he just figured it have less dramatics then one of his novels
I love everything about this
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mike apparently has more trauma then el will and max to some of you let’s be real you guys keep creating problems for that kid to have. Hell some of you give their problems to HIM like what’s up with all the father abuse shit, we don’t know anything about Ted only that he’s an absent father. He’s not abusive like Lonnie is mike is not getting abused. Mike also didn’t go through upside down shit he’s just the side character helping el and Will since s2 let’s be fr. “Has connections to all the characters” so does hopper. Sure his character arc needs to be done but he’s not gonna be as important as el and will or heck max because she’s literally in a coma and we don’t know her fate.
I can still watch the show and not care about this guy it’s very easy to do the duffers made him unlikable anyway. If byler does happen im okay with it because it’s what Will deserves but if I were to write the show mike would not be with him. He would be with a less annoying person. But going back to him just not being as important it’s literally true I remember the fandom hating on mike when season 4 just finished but ppl have deluded themselves so hard they made him 100000 issues to uwufy him so they could excuse all the weird shit he’s done. “Hes seen wills body come out of the water” so did all his friends why are we always focusing on this kid when Will has other friends.
If I were to write the show Will would also be interacting with all the rest of the characters instead of being glued to mikes side. But that’s just me haaha
i swear is this all the same person??? what's in the water today?
and holy shit can someone finally tell me where the people are hiding that "steal" other characters plots? Mike has more trauma than anyone else... who ever said that. where are the Ted is physcially abusive people i've never seen them... have you considered just unfollowing accounts that say things that annoy you? because i've never seen any of these takes, only people complaining about them, and i'm doing great vibing on my dash
and please do tell me how Hopper has connections to all the characters, i'd love to hear your reasoning for this. Hopper has never interacted with Lucas, Dustin or Max. also none of the teens like Nancy or Jonathan. if i wanted to make the argument that Anyone else could somehow have as many on screen relationships as Mike (there isn't anyone) Hopper would be one of the last people i'd go for because he only exists in direct relation to the Byers and El plots. he doesn't get involved with anyone outside of those
nothing of what you're saying is even worth arguing with at this point, you're just really mad about a character existing and trying to rationalize how that character won't be important for the finale despite that being where the story is headed. Mike isn't going to "steal" anyone's plots or traumas i don't know why you even think that. he's a separate character with individual experiences and unique trauma. he's not going to take anything away from other characters
"why are we focusing on Mike" have you heard of cinematography before? ask the show why we're constantly getting close ups of Mike crying in these situations instead of Will's other friends. i'm not sitting here zooming in on Mike's face anytime something happens to Will or El. the show is nice and already blast the close up right over our screens because shockingly Mike's reactions seem to matter here somehow
but anyway explaining all of this to someone who just wants to complain is probably a waste of time. but as you already pointed out yourself, you're not the one writing the show so what you would do is thankfully irrelevant
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hi daisy i know your semi-recent post wanted us to see how we felt about cheol’s leadership in the most recent chapter ! so here’s my thoughts from the chapter(i did have some random notes here and there) sorry it’s a bit long <3
ult spoiler’s (kinda) ?!!
not only cheol but i like that majority of the characters during the fight scenes where proactive in acknowledging both sides of y/n and seungkwan. rather than just picking one over the other.
for the fight (the honey & crumbs) jousha’s character did a nice job of the first point i mentioned. and i liked that he also didn’t coddle y/n just because they’re new.
for cheol (in the aftermath of crumbs argument) while y/n thinks its childish, his character made the right call in asking if they wanted to be separated for the day. (to prevent more petty arguments) and it gives the opportunity for the characters to kinda reflect about what just happened.
about y/n it was nice to read, their character explaining to josuha forcing an apology bc of “family” environment, bc it allows for genuine apologies from the characters
in reference to the (apple bruising fight) loved the line “It happens. I just need to know the whole story first before we can take care of this.” from the writing during this part cheol just wants accountability and like to explain its normal and fine to “fight” as long as there’s room for a solution.
AHHH the riverbed (if thats the right word) scene with them looking for the bracelet *chief’s kiss* both the verbal and physical reassurance from cheol, the vulnerability from seungkwan. yesss!!!
like i said earlier i do like how these characters are written to be able to cry and be vulnerable, i feel like ppl assume emotions are weak so i like reading it in literature it makes it feel more relatable &&& the small moments of physical acknowledgment from this chapter like the forehead kiss and head pats HESISNSOSM SO GOOD!
while i did get a bit off topic (sorry) overall i felt like cheol’s leadership in this chapter was good, it wasn’t harsh nor biased to either y/n or seungkwan.
time to read the updated version!
aaaaAAA LISTEN THIS IS A JOY TO READ AND I HOPE U KNOW THIS!!! brb screaming AND crying-
to address each of your points bc i want to
it was super important to me that every character during the fights acknowledged that both people had their sides. i think the only person who would ever blindly side w yn would be chan, and i think he'd only do it initially. it's 100% different in his eyes from when he and seungkwan bicker because for them it's more like a sibling squabble. with yn and seungkwan, it's elevated into something more and chan recognizes that.
shua's character was very important to me while writing this. while cheol is fully a leader of this group, jeonghan + joshua both have their roles as the oldest in keeping the peace and making sure people are comfortable. hope it becomes more apparent in their own parts about how deeply they trust cheol and try to do their own part to care for the entire group. there's a lot of people and cheol is only one person, after all. also its definitely important to me that shua not coddle reader at all because seungkwan did have a point about cross-contamination between foods. he took it a little far, but it's important that his side was recognized there.
oh cheol 100% made the right call. i think address yn thinking of it being childish is just showing that like... even if it does feel childish for someone to separate people after a fight, it's important.
ye ye!! i think i fully projected there that i think apologies should be genuine. like shua said: i think they would have already worked through emotions because cheol probably has a stance where they shouldn't go to bed with any ill will toward each other (although exceptions happen: sometimes you really do need to sleep on a problem and come back to it with a clearer head).
aaa thank u <3 fights happen in a group as big as this and i think pretty much everyone knows that? accountability was something very important for me throughout writing this. seungkwan might have started fights, sure, but i didnt want yn to be completely innocent in every situation if that makes sense? fights are going to happen. they're a big group, people don't always get along 24/7.
riverbed, riverside, river itself--it really makes no difference to me lol. not to be like "this is my favorite seungcheol moment i've written so far" but i think it really is? that's purely for writing and not planning since there might be one that tops it right now, but i'm glad his role as a leader really got to shine a bit.
hehe i love physical acknowledgement. little forehead kisses and head pats and hugs and reassuring hand holding... i think it's good for them to be able to cry and support one another and be vulnerable. i think that's the point i really wanted to push with this chapter (and with at least two more in the future): that it's okay to be scared and it's okay to be vulnerable with the people you trust and love. seungkwan was someone i felt really would put his happiness beneath others. he's not the only one, but those chapters will come out eventually.
thank you though for the long ask!!! i was really hoping cheol's leadership would be pretty solid since it was important to me that he listened to both sides and made sure everyone was cared for.
have fun <3 it's really not all that much, but just an expansion on one scene and an additional one where seungkwan gets to talk about his feelings with some people he really should have talked to.
thank u again for the long ask hehe i love getting super long asks and getting to talk abt my writing thoughts <3
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hm. so. joined a few more groups for MALS and have been asking for advice. one place just confirmed I already found the "safe" diet of very basic bland stuff so. medically valid to eat ice cream I guess
the other group is super helpful and a lot of people reply. very chatty group. but basically I was saying "it'll be a while before surgery, any tips for living w this condition in the meantime?" And the consensus boiled down to, "nope!" and "it only gets worse!" and "godspeed on your surgery!" and also a lot of "please tell me if you figure it out!" type stuff
and just as many people telling me I need to see THE Specialist, Dr. Hsu, in fucking Connecticut. and several more warning me that the U of M (where I was diagnosed and whats available to me) is horrible and don't go to them, in addition to saying that the 50% success rate I was quoted with is utterly unacceptable, but also to find a surgeon ASAP. as if it's that easy. there's ONE other vascular surgeon in my region, in Ohio.
://///// usually finding other ppl w my condition/symptoms makes me feel better but this does not. apparently MALS is very bad and I'm simply all the way fucked RIP in peace. it wasn't just one person exaggerating and going off on me that made it seem this bad. it really is this bad. and doctors, even ones who ostensibly understand and acknowledge MALS like the ones at U of M (so I'm told), dont seem to understand that it's a multi-system issue. folks have reported nerve damage and scarring, edema, organ damage and even aneurysms on top of the horrific pain it causes due to the compression itself. and yalllll fuck oh my god. the surgery. if they do open surgery it is ALLLLL THE WAY OPEN. I'm not one to balk at scars and wounds typically but looking at the size of the surgical scar really belies what a major surgery it is and I'm so fucking scared. I just wanna cry.
idk what to do. I really don't. I have several potential surgeries on the horizon and nobody in my life who can support me thru this shit. Ostensibly being at moms house would be the safest/most stable place to recover except it's just fucking not.... I am. Literally shaking thinking about all this. I'm fucking terrified and I'm so alone facing all of it idk what to do
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My boyfriend does not like to talk very much, but I'm happy he sent me a photo of him smiling. We haven't met yet, but I hope we have a successful relationship. He is already so kind. Sadly, I cannot focus most of the time and am forced to ramble about American drama for rich people's and my enemies' entertainment.
No, they'll always trample on my mind. I'll never be liberated. Happy to find out what it's like to be a human experiment because I love the Jewish race and hate the evil idiots who stone women for sexual immorality.
I miss you so much, Hannah. Her prayer says I'll have seven children which I hope comes true, but the Bible says, "Ask and ye shall receive," but that isn't true.
You better do it. Just do it. And I mean everything so evil who already reigns can find you and the few good people can be sad to lose another one to whatever
But like I said, Mister, like I said, Sir, I will always be waiting for you. Perhaps in death we can be together. But I made you up so that doesn't matter and God is a cruel punisher when he disciplines me but at least I found a dominant because that's what I wanted but it's a year of miracles and some are painful while beautiful at the same time but u don't need to find that out when you're sweet and perfect but few are
... this is what I'm allowed to do to higher powers of miracles, both extremely painful and sweet
... I'm happy I see you both write from time to time.
... Merry Christmas from Samta Clause. If you don't have Christmas cheer all year, people will cry because Christmas is about the gift that keeps on giving and I try but here's some words that won't go to waste hope u git my msgs geniuses and friends bc I forgot I owe u some cents and sense and sins and syns which are synonyms
I repent for being sexually immoral by looking at GIFs and reading erotica from time to time. I haven't dated in years, but now I have a boyfriend. I don't intend to marry due to what they say is my mental health, so those things comfort me(GIFs and erotica). They remind me of a husband I will probably never have, at least not happily and at least not me because others share my body psychologically. Also, I stole some things from a rich store to give to a poor store, but it didn't work out. She is a Christian, and I was being a Christian. Apparently, here are my sins. Sometimes I'm forced to lie, but I don't lie. Don't steal from people; steal from the rich because Robin Hood is a good movie. Don't listen to me because theft is a sin. Don't listen to them because why is it right for rich ppl to be rich when they inherited it and didn't work for it but some did
America is somehow the world's superpower while being under a God that allows a lot of violence and sexual immorality. Of course I'm confused, and it's impossible not to want. You can be forced to not want which is good.
Don't lie.
Don't steal.
Don't murder.
Don't have sex with other people when you're married.
Don't want.
Don't have any other god other than God.
Don't make idols, and don't worship them.
Greed
Envy
Lust
Wrath
Gluttony
Laziness
I'm never allowed to remember the rest bc I'm not allowed to get 100% anymore because evil reigns
Toodles I don't care enough to tell you the rest of the 10 commandments when not wanting is impossible and also the seven deadly sins when they say sixth commandment Satan propaganda again but whatever man I told you I don't have free will and whatever Man and Taylor Swift and Billie Eilish bc wtf kind of world is this wtf kind of simulation is this matrix idk u ask James Alberts bc he said it's a matrix and at least to ppl u pretend schizophrenia to by gaslighting them etc but whatever
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This was supposed to be better than the capitalistic b.s. we are sold but it's still pissing me off so I'm gonna scream into the void. Fuck this assessment.
Physical self care
I eat the same thing every day i don't think about it
Who has the fucking money for prevention or medical care
Fashion is overrated bullshit made up by thin ppl who dont even make shit in my fucking size
I'm disabled. I don't do physical activity. I exist and that's enough.
Hot take, it's not my fucking responsibility to constantly try to think positively about myself in a world that tells me they want me dead. I'll be a fucking realist and not lie to myself about shit.
What is it with these pretentious fucks and massages? Noone is fucking touching me and I'm sick of it being so fucking normalized. I will NEVER get a fucking massage and you can't fucking make me.
Psychological self care
Who the fuck has money for vacations? What even is a "day trip"? Driving is exhausting.
What the fuck is "my own personal psychotherapy" even supposed to mean? If it's just a more pretensious way of saying get a therapist, fuck no. I'm not going back to therapy until therapists stop being dicks who gaslight with cbt and work with cops.
The internet is the only place I can interact with other ppl that I don't hate. Taking breaks is harmful.
Who is this written for? How much reading did the creator of this little list think the average person read for work? Bc I don't know anyone who reads for work honestly.
Do you not notice your own thoughts 24/7? How does that even work?
Engage my intelligence... this is one of those ppl who can turn off their brain to watch trash toxic stuff like reality TV isn't it?
Bold of you to assume I'm an expert in anything
This list is so fucking weird. It's like stuff that I don't even think about or stuff that is not helpful at all.
Be curious... this is why I hate so many ppl. If you have to be reminded to be curious I honestly don't understand why you are alive.
Yeah work stays at work but that's just fuck capitalism don't be taken advantage of.
Journaling is such a basic ass thing and after a while it's pointless. I haven't done that since I was like 16. Not to mention it's exhausting. I'm not writing stuff down by hand esp if I'm the only one that's gonna see it. I'll rant out loud in my apartment bc that's at least not a waste of fucking time. Like who even has a thought long enough to write it down like that?
Emotional self care
I.have.no.support.system. that means no fucking ppl to hang out with.
I HAVE NO SUPPORT SYSTEM. Fuck those toxic ppl that gave birth to me and all the fucks related to them. They can go dissolve in the toxic sludge they created.
I am autistic. Rewatching things is kind of required.
Express outrage... ironically that is what I'm doing right now. Again, fuck this assessment
Fuck affirmations. I'm not lying to myself. It's not actually healthy to tell yourself you're a good person. Bc you're not. Nobody is. That's black and white thinking bullshit. I am a person that does good and bad things depending on my capabilities and I know that bc im not a fucking lying allistic that thinks they don't suffer from black and white thinking.
I'm autistic and for me that means i have uncontrollable bouts of crying. There is no allowing myself. Privileged ass person who made this can apparently controlled their crying. How nice for them.
Now here's where the REAL anger starts
Wtf is going on with this whole "spiritual self care" bullshit? Why is it so hard for ppl to grasp that not everyone thinks like them? And they say autistics have a lack of theory of mind.
Causes aren't spiritual. They are opinions and values.
Reflection isn't spiritual, that's just using your fucking brain to analyze yourself, we already covered that, how many reminders do you boring allistic ppl need??
Non material aspects of life? Wtf does that even mean? Am I aware that there are abstract concepts? Yes, social constructs are abstracts, like Religion is a social construct and im not interested, it's boring.
Find spiritual connection or community?? This bullshit is why atheists are so lonely. Yall can't build any community outside religion.
Relationship self care
Partner. No. Fuck that amatonormativity.
Relatives? Fuck those toxic ppl.
What posting on tumblr isn't enough?
Personal correspondence? Did someone forget to upgrade to modern language? Why does this sound like some 19th century person talking about writing a letter to send along the pony express.
There are no people to do things for me. I have been asking for help and there is noone. I hate this fucking state, I have nothing in common with these ppl. There is nothing for me, I don't like any of the things that ppl do here, and they don't have any of the things I like to do.
Literally all I have is my cats, and I had to Pavlov them into loving me.
Workplace self care
Chat with coworkers??? Why the fuck would I want to do that? At best I tolerate ppl enough to do my job. Peers?? There aren't even ppl my own age here. I can go days without talking to anyone at all. support groups at work??? This is some fancy blue state shit isn't it?
Can't balance shit when you don't have shit.
Fuck self care
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15 Questions, 15 Mutuals
I was tagged by @mimabeann ty! :D
I’m not gonna tag 15 people bc I have fear of being that annoying so :’) if you wanna do this consider this a tag, and no pressure if not!
1. Are you named after anyone?
Not exactly. Though my name is biblical. My mom isn’t particularly religious, she just liked the name.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Literally yesterday rippp :’) having to talk to multiple diff ppl none of whom have notes on what you’ve told the other people so you have to re-live the terrible shitty awful 2 year period that was 2020 - 2022 all over again = panic attacks and lots of crying (I’m ok today just hella tired ;w;)
3. Do you have kids?
NOOOPEEE. And I never will. The bullshit from this family ends with me y’all XD
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
I’d have to be honest and say yea, I do. It’s prolly a defence mechanism oops. Also I just grew up like that so weh
(No. 5 is missing)
6. What’s your eye color?
Hazel! it switches between 2 of the 3 colours depending on what colour(s) I’m wearing etc. not gonna get any more specific than that bc Safety uvu
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings! I don’t hate scary movies and I will watch em on occasion but pls I’m depressed enough already I need happy endings /hj
8. Any special talents?
Apparently I’m scary good at customer service for someone with such crippling social anxiety and fear of conflict so ig that counts? lmao
9. Where were you born?
on the coast in South Africa (again, not being any more specific for safety)
10. What are your hobbies?
Drawing, writing, playing video games (SWTOR, RDR 2/RDO, The Sims 4, Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons and ARK: Survival Evolved are the usual go-tos but I have others aswell ofc), I will never not pet a (friendly) dog/cat/animal if I see it
11. Have you any pets?
I have a corn snake named Enigma, at the moment! But my finances recently took a hit so as much as I’d love to get another pet once Enigma goes I prolly won’t be able to afford any more pets. Being disabled & unable to work and yet still expected to pay hundreds of bucks a month just so you can have food to eat bc you can’t cook on your own and someone has to do it for you kinda do be like that /s
12. What sports do you play/have played?
I used to play both Tennis and Netball as a kid! I have not played a sport in over 10 years, since my hip crapped out. I can barely walk without dislocating it now, I ain’t running or jumping NOWHERE bucko LOL
13. How tall are you?
5′4″ or thereabouts, idk the exact measurement nor do I care lol
14. Favorite subject in school?
English, Biology, Drama
15. Dream job?
idk really. I’m too disabled to do the one thing I actually trained for now (working with animals). I really wanted to get a qualification in Animal Assisted Therapy forever ago and train and use therapy animals (like cats, dogs, ferrets etc.) to help people work through trauma and stuff but I struggle so much with day to day things nowadays that it’s clear to me I won’t be able to do that (and I’ve made peace with that)
I guess it’d be nice to publish a book or something one day, idk *shrugs*
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I’m hesitant to tell Hunter about what’s been going with my dad because I genuinely just a) don’t know if I can even say it out loud without ugly crying and b) am scared he’ll react the same way Chris did.
Chris was such a piece of shit about it. Actually he was a piece of shit about a lot of things but he was a huge piece of shit when it came to the topic of my dad. We had plans to hangout this one day, and I had had an awful day of an awful week. My car which had been endlessly having problems was picked up from the shop, just to have the muffler snap on the way home (literally no the way home from the shop). So much money and car stress, but that was nothing. My dog was also officially given three weeks at most to live, and diagnosed with kidney failure. Same day that I also found out my father had been waiting on test results to see if what he was experiencing was early ALS.
When I heard about that, it was honestly just debilitating. I was sobbing so hard, for hours and hours. And I just fucking remember Chris hadn’t texted me all day yet, and all I wanted was to at least have someone to talk to. I sat through homework, trying to focus, when I decided I would text him and ask him what he was up to, and he replied he was “hitting some balls with friends”.
He hadn’t texted me all day, we had plans, I was having the worst fucking day.. and he made other plans lol 😭 I called him, and I was super calm, and just explained that it hurt my feelings and I thought we had plans. He got so defensive, saying “what? Am I supposed to just say no when they ask me?” When that’s not even what I had said, I had said I’d appreciate if he just let me know what was going on. I tried to explain to him that I was having a hard day, and he just didn’t even give a fuck. At some point he said to me “hard to keep track of all your heroin junkie ex boyfriends” when I had mentioned just needing support and how that’s important to me, apparently my track record was against me was his train of thought..?
And then months later which I’ve talked about on here before we he came over knowing his roommate had Covid, KNOWING how I felt about the possibility of spreading it to my parents especially since my dad was having so many health complications already, Chris said to me “your dad seems fine to me”
Bro 😭😭😭 the horrible shit ppl do you rlly sticks. I’m having a bad morning, of a rlly tough year. My father is my favorite human in this world, and he’s having such a hard time talking man. He’s not fine. He’s fucking not and I’m fucking not and there’s nothing I can do. And I’m scared to bring it up to Hunter because I’m terrified of his reaction or maybe he just doesn’t want to hear it
#I’m just ranting#it’s easier to focus on how angry someone like Chris has made me from treating me like shit#rather than to think about my dad and the possibility of having ALS#that one makes the insides of my rib cage feel like it’s on fucking fire
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#really relatable im sure#ive been having dreams that blend too easily into reality lately and also the ppl talking abt having odd dreams in isolation made me miss yn#so i redownloaded it OBVIOUSLY#yume nikki#when i was in middle school we were asked to write a letter to ourselves that would be sent when we graduated and apparently middle school a#ri was a GENIUS bc they sent a like#draw it again template#and im mentioning this bc the thing i chose to draw was madotsuki's prospective pokemon team bc in middle school. the only thing i cared abo#ut. was weird rpgmaker games and pokemon#the pokemon i had chosen were all based on mado's effects also which was actually quite cute#i have more markers now than i did then so i was actually able to finish coloring it lmao#it's actually rlly satisfying to see how much i've improved i get why those memes are so popular#idk what else to say. bye.#OH WAIT actually ive been#okay so like pre uarantine i was hangin on by the thread called ''when my friends come back home we can hang out'' and living the quarantine#lifestye in between and now that my familys home all day (horrid.) and that i cant talk to other ppl or like#i have never wanted to goout to watch movies so badly i miss movie theaters so ardently i am going to cry#BUT what this means for me is that my already fucked up habits have gotten even MORE fucked up#so im like. sleeping ALL the time. theres nothing else for me to do like i can spend a couple hours working on something#MANY hours restlessly pacing my room and listening to music#refreshing fucking ao3 every other hour#im losing my goddamn mind#idk how i was living like this before holy SHIT#tag talk#i know everyones already analyzed yume nikki to hell and back bc its like. old and a very analysist bait game#analysist? analisyst.....? analyzign...#but i just realized that the toriningen transporting mado to an isolated area in her dreams from which the only way she can escape is to wak#e up (unless you have that one effect) back into her own self imposed isolation in her room................... hyaahhgdh....................#I Look At It#anyways. NOW goodbye.
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....how can you be jealous of your friend having other friends outside of the friend group. i mean,,, how can you be mad???
#idk how to feel but#it’s like a few of my friends want me to be their friends and their friends only#i can’t do anything else other than hang out with them#or have other friends and damn you know what#it makes me wanna cry sometimes bc i think they’re distancing themselves from me because of it#and maybe they are bc one of them never hesitated to do it in school#not to mention there’s 4 of us and yeah 99% they made a gc without me bc i’m shit :) already knew that#but idk it’s like they just try and ignore me when i’m actively talking to other friends i just don’t get it#i’m not even social most of the time because of my social anxiety but when i am it’s just wrong apparently#not to mention they were against me doing a sport last year....as if everything depends on them#i don’t want to drop them but just thinking about it makes me feel like shit and idk what to do#they can’t just expect me to be limited to three friends for all of hs#and i’ve made it clear that i don’t give a shit about what they think about me doing whatever it’s just#it sounds stupid but i have so many friends that support me playing a sport but when one person thinks that i should miss practice#/skip a game to hang out with them. i was so fed up with it last year#even the ‘omg u won’t pick up my call/answer my text’ bc i was AT A GAME .#i’ve been playing longer than i’ve known them so i just don’t care . they tuned it down this yr bc of corona but still#it sounds stupid but i feel dumb for not having supportive friends tho it’s something i alwayd struggled with anyway#uhhh i’m ranting too much i just feel so empty ik i shouldn’t associate w ppl that make me feel like shit but it’s not always like that#and honestly i’ve dealt with shit wayyyy worse than this so .#okay gonna save this rant for my friend tmrw :) a different one :))#update coming soon i’m sorry loves i’m just upset#shut up vee
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You know Plan I read a LOT of fanfics since when I was 9 (it's gonna be 10 years first of January yey T~T) and there was some good ones, some bad ones, some atrociously wrote one, some pretty amazing wrote ones, but all of them were at least consistent yk?
So there's this ONE FUCKING fic I read Idk why, I don't even remember if they were tagged right! It had mpreg, just so you know, it was wangxian (but it gets infuriating) but they only got together for a few paragraphs before WWX DIED (which is canon) but with all that was happening I wasn't expecting.
TW: for Idk manipulation into being a surrogate, traumatic experience with childbirths and a little graphic depiction of first time doing the thing in a traumatic situation. It's not good just so you know, and I hate to put you through this but I need to get it out of my chest and I read this recent ask and it made me remind of this.
Anyway in the beginning of it we have jyl ask wwx to have s*x with jzx so the couple can have a baby. Why? She's a woman. She's already married with jzx. Why does wwx have to do it? Is she infertile? NO, SHE ISN'T!! BC IN PART 2 AFTER WWX COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD SHE GETS FUCKING PREGNANT AND IT GETS ME ANGRY EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT IT!!!
Wwx gives birth in koi tower and no one besides mdJin, jzx and jyl knows wwx gave birth to Jin Ling.
Wwx is traumatized, so the writer makes him encounter with lwj and they fall for each other or whatever (it's not healthy bc wwx isn't right in the head). And THEN wwx gets pregnant with A-Yuan and everything is ok, the pregnancy is going well, family dream life. But then the autor fuck again and have lqr (who apparently didn't know wwx was in cloud recess and pregnant with his prized nephew child) discover about everything and lwj talks to him saying he will take responsability for his "mistake" (it isnt even lqr who says that, its lwj, which makes me 10x mad) in FRONT of wwx and it leaves wwx crushed to ashes and mpre traumatized, why would lwj even say something like that. That's so ooc of him, I hate it.
Wwx disappears from lwj sight encounters wq saves the wen remnants and para pa pa paaa dies after some canon gymnastics.
The beef I have with this fic is so so so... It hurts. Why would they write something like that? And then in part 2, when wwx comes back to life is as if nothing happened. Jyl pushed him AND jzx in a traumatic event (it was wwx first time and its made pretty clear and graphic and it made me want to vomit), basically chains him in that godforsaken golden disaster, takes his child away (I don't remember if he even has time to hold the baby, but he can hear its cry and wants to cuddle JL), and then everything with LWJ, and then the part 2 I didn't have stomach to finish bc of a panic attack it gave me.
And I swear, taking a break from the fanfics and the twitter fandom was something I needed so bad after that, I didn't even know you or the bunnies, I thought jc was cool back then, this fanfic made me reconsider all my thoughts and I really don't regret starting to be a proud Jiang Hater.
Future life hack if you find yourself reading a fanfic like that again:
I don't read fic in this particular fandom anymore. Some people just use whatever character names are popular or media they're into to take (sometimes catficsh, depending on how inaccurate the tags are) others along on a journey through their own personal psyche. & a large number of ppl in this fandom revel in dragging the mains through a sort of gratuitous psychological, emotional, physical trauma circuit (Sure mdzs has a lot of knives but the suffering is well justified and precipitated by the plot, it's not THE "plot"). It has nothing to do w canon. It's not something you can, or should argue or correct. These characters' only connection to mdzs are their names.
Some people can read something they find unsettling and shortly shrug it off. You are not those people. So do yourself a solid and if something starts feeling like the really quiet scene in a horror movie - close the tab. Now if you find your mind drifting towards this redirect it immediately. I know it's hard bc the desire to keep picking at it is huuuuuge, but try not dwell on it anymore as much as you can, bc the more you do the more you cement it into your memory.
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We hit 400 so here’s a- ✨ DREAM APPRECIATION ESSAY ✨
(by Yours Truly. Much thanks to the one, innocent anon who just wanted to ask a small talk question but hit my serotonin-providing hyperfixation.)
1. Self-esteem
I love the way he’s confident in his abilities when it’s become such a “trend” to either be completely and utterly self-depricating about your own skills out of fear of being labelled an asshole or overconfident nowadays.
At the same time you can still tell he doesn’t want to pull anyone down ever, and will always be really careful with that and take every oppertunity to lift up the people around him. Dream has a very emotional voice that gives him away a lot, so you can really tell he genuinely admires the people around him and he’s never afraid to say that they could totally easily beat him in something if he doesn’t have practice with it.
He tends to be a bit too hard on himself, so his friends always encourage him in his abilities, and that’s just. So nice. He celebrates his victories! He gets so so excited and happy when he wins in the manhunts, and I think celebrating your hard-earned victories isn’t something that should be villanized.
He won, and we should KNOW by now that doesn’t mean he thinks he’s somehow better than everyone. He has a pretty good eye on his abilities, and that allows him to really use them to the max.
2. Morality
He isn’t afraid to change the game! His adhd picks out a Cool New Thing and he just goes, You know what? Why not! His adhd goes “do this thing repeatedly another 3847 times” and he’s like, yeah sure!
Nobody expected him to release a song, but he just went for it! He’s been speedrunning so much, but he isn’t afraid to stream it every day 5 days in a row for hours while his friends bicker in the background.
Dream genuinely does the things he finds fun, but at the same time puts in so much effort to make them good and entertaining to watch and never forgets about his viewers.
He’s kidfriendly because he wants to be! Fame-wise, at this point he could definitly swear more if he wanted to (and he does when in other people’s content who don’t care about swearing), but despite that he doesn’t swear on his main because he wants his content to be accessable for everyone.
Sure, on one hand it could be for clout/money, but consider: Dream doesn’t stream the DSMP because he doesn’t want to take attention away from other people. He participates in the videos of his friends. He lets compilation channels and the like do whatever they want and even monetize his content. He lets his friends stream Road Trip on twitch as much as they want for free.
Dream doesn’t not swear just for his fanbase, but he does it because he has so so much respect for people. No matter how high he goes, he’s always consciously focused on respecting and admiring the people around him.
He has genuine respect for creators so much smaller than him, and he has respect for people in his fanbase that are younger than him. He isn’t afraid to go against the norm and STAND for that, either (see the video where he defends his stans).
And he defends his friends so much too! So much so it could almost be a little bit of a flaw sometimes, but I feel like he truly wants to learn from his mistakes. He apologizes for things even when nobody asked him to, and that just shows that he does it out of genuine guilt and fear of hurting someone.
He’s always seemed like someone who is genuinely willing to change to be a better version of himself, who isn’t afraid to challenge what he thinks and what other people think and what the norm thinks in order to improve everything for everyone.
Dream also doesn’t let any of the fame get to his head! As I said before - he’s confident in the things he’s good at, but in a way that doesn’t pull other people down, and he still remains firmly admirable of other people.
And even when OTHER people let fame get to their head (it was a while ago, but there was a video he made about five block jumps, where he added in a clip of a video of another guy doing it complete with credit and link etc. The guy was 100% alright with it at first, but when his video started getting more views because Dream’s video blew up, he started accusing Dream of “stealing” his content (when dozens of other videos of the 5 block jump already existed, and Dream could’ve just put in a clip of himself doing the jump)),,, but he insisted in his reponse that fame gets to people’s heads sometimes, nobody should blame anybody, he genuinely was never upset at him and just said that this just... happens sometimes.
He’s a very forgiving person all around, in part due to being willing to challenge his own norms and give people the benefit of the doubt JUST in case he’s wrong. He lets people enjoy things so long as they aren’t hurting anybody, like allowing people to ship him w people who are also alright with shipping, but at the same time taking a hard stance on, say, how shipping minors is absolutely wrong and should not be done ever (and he’s right).
3. Fandom
He appreciates said fanart and fanworks as well! He thinks dnf fanart is cool and he even appreciates the fanfic part of his fandom, something many ccs wish to ignore or forget it exists altogether (and it IS ofc in their right to do so or be uncomfortable with such content!), but Dream sees the work put into it and how people find connections and friendships through the fandom and appreciates it all the same.
He loves his fandom. So much. But not in the overdone, fake-feeling way I’ve seen other ccs be,,,, he’s just. Quiet and shy and genuine about it but not afraid to defend it.
He’s said before - and I QUOTE - “If you send hate to people or have sent hate to people, in the form of hateful comments or DMs, you aren’t welcome in my fandom. You’re no fan of mine”, which is the HOTTEST take he’s ever uttered and I love that. He really just went and said that. And he’s right. I like that despite how he’s usually more held back and waits things out before taking a stance, he chose this topic to really take a hard stance on and not budge and stick to it.
Pmbata has also said that he believes his fans have his back no matter what!! And that he really loves them a lot!!! And I am!! Emotional!!!!
4. ND/Adhd
He has adhd which is something I relate to personally (I have it as well sdlkfj). He gets excited sometimes!! I love how he shows being fidgety in mc, always pacing and parcouring around,, the way that in manhunts you can SEE when he’s thinking or bouncing back and forth between two options,,, or the way he gets close to people in mc to laugh with them.... He shows so much with his movements by them being quick and daring and calculated (and it’s especially hilarious to watch other people react to it in the video “mc but three people control one player”, where he’s the one moving and Sapnap and George will gasp or go “Dream!!” in surprise when Dream was THIS close to falling off a ledge, but he just laughs sdlkfjsdf).
When he’s not moving around he stands perfectly, perfectly still (which, idk if thats what all adhd ppl have, but I know I have something similar? Like when I’m nervous I’ll sometimes just. Freeze in place. No movement at all). He’s just relatable sdkjf.
There was one Manhunt extra scenes where he,,,,, stims by clapping,,,,,, the lil excited clap in the background,,, I’m gonna cry. I’m so soft for excited Dream that one is such a comfort clip for me!
He also tends to stim by getting under trap doors and then jumping back out of them, or jumping up a block and then walking back down over and over (especially noticable in The Village Went Mad tftsmp episode, where they were all discussing who the murderer could be and he was the only one moving, hopping up the log and then running back down again).
Also it is. Really Soft when he starts rambling and overexplaining something. What’s even better is that George, who is usually present at such moments, will laugh a little at his antics, and Dream will automatically laugh with him.
5. Rp/Uplifting other ccs
Dream wasn’t all THAT into the rp at first, but his server has been so strongly supporting and giving attention to smaller creators that he’s since completely rolled along with it. Being a villain in the RP is a difficult role because you will, inevitable, as much as it is just roleplay and all scripted, always get some amount of dislike from people for it.
Despite that, he’s basicly the main big villain on his own server where he let a bunch of theater kids beat him up in character and imprison him on his OWN SERVER. He wasn’t as into the rp at first, but has obviously been practicing and joins every Tales of the SMP when he can, despite getting zero clout for it.
What Dream also tends to do is find small content creators, see their talent and lift them high. His entire discord server is dedicated to give smaller ccs a place to grow, and when he first found Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, etc., they were much much smaller than they are now. He truly wanted to help them make it big.
He’s also added Foolish Shark and Hannah onto the SMP, both much smaller ccs (not tiny, but you get what I mean), allowing them to grow. He doesn’t stream on his OWN SERVER. He let himself get imprisoned to let the good guys win on his OWN. SERVER. He’s willing to play the villain and everything.
An interesting thing though! A lot of people used to/still do clown on Dream a bit for his sometimes uncertain acting,,, but when he’s around people he knows well (Sapnap and George, Tubbo and Tommy) we’ve seen him go ALL OUT. I have the theory Dream might be genuinely afraid to accidentally be mean to someone in character and have them misinterpret it sldkfjsdf,,, so he’s rly careful when he goes into the rp, and sometimes even when he’s in it he goes quiet, especially with other people around.
But also the fact that he needs time to feel comfortable around ppl is,, a mood,,, and adorable,,, sdlfkjsdf-
Apparently he’s also shared his youtube algorithm secrets with Tommy?? Which he had only shared with Sapnap and George before?? Dream took one look at that chaotic kid and immedietly adopted him as his little brother. He literally got up super early to rp the prison visit. Idk about ya’ll but I would die for someone first and get up horribly early for them second-
6. Friends!!
Dream?? Considers so so many people his friends?? And despite having so many friends, he also has his few closest friends (George and Sapnap) whom he would absolutely die for in a heartbeat. He WILL defend them with everything he has and loves them so so much.
He listens to them and really, truly wants them to succeed. He respects them so much and will go OFF about how good they actually are and how talented they are and how important they are to him.
I can’t even COVER everything about how much he is SOULMATES with Gorg. They live in each others heads rent-free. He mentions him all the time. They get!! So happy when they’re around each other!!! Their voices get so soft,,
And I can’t even BEGIN to explain the energy of Sapnap and Dream just moving together permanently. Imagine moving together with your best friend. Like, permanently. Into one house. They’re best friends Your Honor,,,,
Also,, remember the Techno and Dream rivalry? And Dream has recently said that he’s hesitant to make a serious manhunt against Techno because he doesn’t want there to be any feud between them or have them be compared to each other. He said that while he absolutely wanted nothing more than to beat Techno at first, now that he knows him better he just wants to be friends with him. He wants to be FRIENDS. With his, essentially, mc RIVAL. Friendly rival, but still. He doesn’t even wanna fight Techno or have ppl compare them cause he,,, wants to be friends with him,,,,
7. Vulnerability
What I feel like really sets Dream apart from some other ccs for me is that he’s willing to be vulnerable. He will tell George he loves him. He defends his friends. He sounds so, so genuine when he tells his fandom that he loves them.
What’s just really rare to see, especially in male ccs, is that vulnerability. It’s becoming more acceptable as time goes on, but it’s certainly not easy, and a lot of people become and stay long-term fans BECAUSE they can see how genuine he is.
I know Dream looks up to Mr. Beast a lot, for example, but honestly? I think he’s a little better than Mr. Beast. Because he feels more genuine, more bound to what he believes is right. I’m sure Mr. Beast isn’t a bad content creator! But ultimately they have different target audiences and I’m very glad Dream is the way he is.
Less of that insecure masculinity and more willing to be vulnerable, to care about things, to get emotional and to encourage and uplift the people around him.
8. Pure Brainrot
Green boi has nice deep calm soothing voice. Little shy laugh. Wheeze laugh. Gorg live in his head rent-free. He lov friends. He lov block game. He good at block game,,, a little shy but confident,,, big heart,,,, soft voice,,,,, rambles sometimes....
He also Gender. He’s so gender. I don’t know how else to describe it. I want That. Whatever That is. My gender is Dreamwastaken
#mcyt#mcytblr#dreamwastaken#dream#dream appreciation#long post#dreamteamspace speaks#space writes#yes this goes in my writing tag#this is Way too many words to only be in my normal tag#but how many dream apreciation essays have you written fear huh? Huh?? /lh#mr beast critical#adhd tw#adhd#just in case?
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Deuce Spade facts and fun facts🥳🥳
This is a list of facts and fun facts about Deuce! This list is based on true facts only and any observations I've made, however observations can be subjective, so those will be labeled properly! Let's start off with some facts already in the wiki :)
First Yr, class 1-A, student no.24
Birthday: June 3
Age: at the beginning of the game, Deuce is 16, but currently, he is 17 [his profile in game has not been updated, but as time is proven to flow in game, it is unclear but can be interpreted that the characters do canonly age]
Gemini
173 cm / 5'8" ft
Homeland: Rose kingdom
Family: Mother, Grandmother, it is implied that his father is out of the picture as Deuce states that he is the only man in the family so his father has either left or is dead
Club: Track and Field [alongside Jack]
Best subject: PE
Dominant hand: Right
Fav food: Egg dishes / omurice
Least fav food: Bell peppers
Dislikes: Limited time sales
Hobby: Magical wheel (twst motorcycle I guess but it looks kinda funky)
Talents: Machinery Maintainance [good with fixing gadgets and etc]
Used to be a delinquent before he heard his mother crying on the phone to his grandmother about his behavior. Afterwards he decided to change
Owns a pink leopard printed suit
Cannot do middle school math, he will take a lot of time to solve simple Algebra problems
Gets nervous and stops functioning entirely when talking to women
Onto some fun facts outside of the wiki! These facts have been gathered from various sources (ppl who can read japanese, ppl who have told me abt info in the twst guidebook, twitter, and ofc the main translated story), but I cannot prove 100% authenticity of this, so take it with a gain of salt
Canonly a pretty boy. Deuce is described as the "cool pretty type" in the twst guidebook
Smells like flowers [applies to all students from Rose kingdom]
A romantic, he admired the king and queen of heart's relationship and trey teased him about it
Thought that baby chicks hatch from store bought eggs until the MC and Grim told him the truth
Can cook eggs (he likes them over easy)
Wanted to make a magical wheel club but was rejected so he joined track and field
Bought magical wheel magazines when he was younger and studied it
Wanted to ride his magical wheel in the heartslabyul maze (mentioned he forgets bad things when he rides it so like...it makes him feel better)
Hates limited times sales/shopping but is extremely good at it. He can remember the price of an item, when exactly it sells out, the percentage/probability of when it can sell out, discount prices and pretty much any math that has to do with it [he's extremely good at shopping because his mother brought him out a lot with her to limited time sales]
In addition to the point above, it is implied he can memorize and calculate that for pretty much every item he intends on buying (everything I listed above is in relation to the time he bought 20 limited time puddings which greatly impressed Sebek who wasn't able to grab even 1, but it was later revealed that he also bought 8 bag full of items requested by Trey for baking, as well as the others probably from heartslabyul) so basically Deuce big brain and very good memorization abilities
Hilariously in the instance above, Sebek, who is like...a real fae, has said that what Deuce did was not something a human can do
Flirted with a plant because vil was fucking around with him and told him to
Was ready to fist fight Riddle
Was about to go find Leona to beat him up but Vil was like do u have no fear and Deuce pretty much said that he can get thru to Leona with his muscles
Was about to fight Malleus (jesus christ) but ended up fixing his tamagotchi and came out completely loaded and rich (good for deuce, get that cha ching babey)
Won a Track and Field competition (noted to be rare for a first year)
He is literally a pretty boy, it's been pointed out that he looks good in the ceremonial clothes (but we already know that)
Admires Riddle and sees him as a role model, has called him boss (like...yakuza boss terminology) once
[Observation] Has a pretty good relationship with Jamil as he has asked Jamil to help him practice his Stargazer dance, and mentioned him once again when talking about how Jamil fixed his hat and said that he was a reliable upperclassman
Has said fuck and would not hesitate to say it again 🥺
Has been called honest and cute, was fawned over by kalim and trey. Kalim said Deuce was similar to his younger brothers
During his delinquent phase, he was blamed for many things he didn't do as well, Deuce said that he realized no one believed in him despite what he says, but because a policeman stood up for him, he wanted to become a cop when he grew up
Used intimidation tactics [the equivalent of "u wanna fucking go let's go I'll beat ur ass" to scare off ppl and silver was like hm I will have to try that sometime, to which deuce was pretty much like ahahah no dont
Deuce refers to Yuu as his "mabu", basically calling Yuu his best friend
He can change a lightbulb, and he talks abt hand washing materials and just domestic house stuff in general as if it's common knowledge. In other words it's implied Deuce is really good at housework due to doing a lot for his mother
When he was a kid, he used to cry because he thought there were monsters outside, but it was just hanging laundry
Is more scared of Riddle than ghosts
It's implied that one time (or several times...) he stayed after school with Crewel, and the poor guy had to attempt to explain the same concept over and over again to Deuce for hours until he understood
Ace always cheats in card games with Deuce, so Deuce claims that it's not very fun playing with him
Bad at astrology bc apparently all stars look the same to him
Likes cafe latte
Does tease ppl, he once messed with Yuu and in the process called Ace "Ace-kun" (Ace called him "Deuce-kun" as well). There has been an instance where he's teased Jack about his Niceness TM
Used to have over 30 gang members following him at age 14-15. (You'd think that him being so young would make him like a lackey but no he was the boss)
Has a thing for summoning cauldrons since he was young, but apparently you need to have a large amount of magic capabilities to summon objects, so [observation] deuce may actually be extremely powerful bc he was able to summon things at a young age, but he hasn't refined his powers yet so he still seems weak compared to a lot of the cast
During his delinquent phase, apparently he had a really wild hairstyle and he used his magic on people weaker than him
[Observation] Deuce is actually pretty good at lying. In his Halloween card he was able to put up a good act and deceive some of his ex gang members into following him into the forest before mildly roughing them up (keep in mind that he has not had contact with these ppl for at least a year, yet somehow he was able to assert enough authority to tell them to follow him. Also, he thought of this plan on the spot, and acted malicious enough so that the gang members would believe in him—which proves that he's not only quick witted but a convincing actor, as Jamil actually believed his act for a while)
It's implied that he and Ace are often in leadership positions, as they helped to lead heartslabyul in designing their Halloween booth, but they also mentioned that it was much easier compared to organizing unbirthday parties
[Observation] despite wanting to be an honor student, Deuce is still able to take unjustly means to achieve his goals (EX. Making a deal with Azul to pass his test), in general, deuce doesn't care too much about the method, be it through cheating or violence to get to his goal, but he does value a fair battle
[Observation] a lot of Deuce's strengths are subtle as we are frequently told abt how much of a bad student he is, but if u rly think abt it, deuce is put in leadership positions a lot, he's good a memorization and small technical details, he can be at times quick witted and deceiving, and he has the potential to be extremely powerful in magic. In conclusion Deuce is a menace and once we find out what his unique magic is I'm 100.01% sure he will become a greater menace and I think he should fight a lot of people and win
That will be all for this post! There may be more fun facts/observations that I may have missed, but feel free to add on to this! Anyways thank u for reading and please stan Deuce Spade♠️💙
#please read this i spent hours on it <3#i am sorry for being a walking deuce encyclopedia#twisted wonderland#deuce spade#twisted wonderland deuce#twst deuce
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#ShowYourProcess
From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!
To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.
RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!
I was tagged by @milkcrates, who showed her process of making this gorgeous piece with Wei Wuxian and little A-Yuan!! It was awesome to see how it came to life - and thank you for tagging me! ✨
So I got tagged to show how this Yunmeng brothers + golden core art happened! I already included the digital sketch for it in my sketch vs final compilation, but I guess I can show some more!
This is gonna be long because I like talking a lot, so putting the rest under a cut!
1. Planning
SO.
A golden core pic was on my to-draw list as soon as I finished watching the show. I had a WIP of a different pic for that waiting, but actually I noticed that a very similar thing has already been drawn, so that was kinda dropped. But I’m glad I waited until the idea for this one slapped me! It was pretty much a moment of “w a i t a second” and I had to grab a random piece of paper to sketch it while I still had it in my head.
This is the sketch - as you can see from the coffee stains, it has been through some stuff. On the left I actually tried out some different ideas for the golden core - the 1st one was the winner and led to the whole leaking/water/rain theme. I ended up mirroring the whole sketch because I didn’t want Wei Wuxian’s hand to cover Jiang Cheng’s front hair wisp, as that would make that area too crowded.
Meta-wise: I wanted to show that the whole thing was kept as a secret from Jiang Cheng. But we also knew about it - so Wei Wuxian is breaking the 4th wall and looking at us [the audience] directly, shushing to keep it a secret as well. Then there’s his hand hovering over the blindfold - it was included in the show, but also sprinkles in that extra symbolism. Then there’s the rain - the sky crying for the two brothers, so you’re not sure if those are raindrops or tears on their faces + lotus pond for the Yunmeng vibes. As for the golden core, I wanted to make it kinda messy and leaking like blood + shining and make it the main light source of the piece. Also kinda like a glow stick liquid.
I also like finding fitting music to go with my art and this one was actually supposed to go with Avicii’s Hey Brother, but when I was looking it up on Spotify I saw Kodaline’s Brother right above, gave it a listen and then the lyrics hit me. So I already knew that they’re gonna go in the caption. Also apparently it’s like The Song for them and yeah, makes sense.
2. Creating
2.1 Set up and tools
I use Paint Tool SAI + Wacom Intuos S to do all my art! The entire pic was made on a 2000 x 3000 px canvas, since I don’t like to work too big because of limited brush sizes in SAI + I don’t want to torture my laptop, as my art takes up quite a lot of processing power with a lot of layers and modes and sometimes things like to crash at the final steps 😬.
2.2 Planning and composition
So I started off by doing a digital sketch and focusing on the composition a bit more - I wanted something geometrical, so I went for the diamond shape with Wei Wuxian’s silhouette and the placement of the lotuses. Also the composition is vertical, all the important info is in the middle column - you could cut off 2/3 of the picture and it would still tell the story.
2.3 Lineart
Then I did the lineart over the sketch layer (there was a more detailed one than the “planning” sketch, but it looks like I deleted it once I finished). I usually draw more than I have to and on separate layers, so that I can move/modify things easily later - for example JC’s headpiece here didn’t really make it that much into the final piece but It Was There. Once I was satisfied with the lineart, I cleaned it by erasing overlapping things, like Wei Wuxian’s clothes behind Jiang Cheng’s head.
2.4 Planning the lighting
After doing the lineart I blocked the characters with a single color and planned the lighting. The golden core is the main light source here, so it dictates which parts are gonna be lighter and which darker (although there is gonna some ambient occlusion from the background + reflected light from the water). I also added water and lotuses in the foreground + painted the background.
2.5 Shading the characters
After that, I started shading the pic. I usually do two steps here - one with “base” shading - focusing on the details and values based on the light source, then the mood shading with more coloring - based on the setting the characters are in. The first one is mostly done with the Multiply tool and base layer blending/painting, the second mostly with layer modes like Overlay and Luminosity. I also colored some parts of the lineart to make the shapes stand out (see: wwx’s front hairs)
2.6 Environment and touch-up details
Then it was time for the water and lotuses + the “special effects” for the rain and all the stuff associated with it - water splashes, mist, sparkling drops! Also some more mood lighting. Lots of new layers to keep everything organized and separated.
2.7 Finished pic
And done! After finishing I usually adjust the contrast/gamma/saturation of my art (or just edit it all in curves) + sometimes sharpen it to bring out details → I make a few different versions and pick the one that works the best. Although with this pic I was satisfied with the raw result so no major changes happened.
3. Posting
For posting I always scale down the pictures and upload them as a draft on this art blog. Then I check if things look okay on mobile as well - from what I’ve noticed my phone makes everything more warm-toned. Depending on the time I finish drawing, I either post it right away or wait until the next day, when there is more traffic on tumblr. I finished this one around 8PM of my local time, which is fine - so I posted it right away (also I was just excited, couldn’t wait 😅)!
As caption I used the lyrics from Brother by Kodaline, as mentioned before!
So yeah, that would be it!
If you made it till this part - thank you and I hope you have an awesome day! ✨
Let’s keep the artist vibes here - I’m gonna tag (not 5 ppl but shh)
@still-snowing and this piece that still breaks my heart
@driszol and this Song Jiyang pic that lives in my head to this day
@kushexi and this pic with fox Wei Wuxian and A-Yuan bc it still makes me melt
→ no pressure of course! or if you want to do some other piece that’s awesome as well!
#showyourprocess#[and now tags for my own blog →]#not art#art process#oh this was fun - thank you for tagging me!!#always crying abt those self-sacrificial siblings :'')
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