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handicappedbuenchico · 9 months

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Think about some strong opinions (about anything) that you have. Could be about RP, life, school, work, people. Where did that come from; what happened to make you feel or think that way?

I'm going to use this question to share some of my horror movie opinions here, specifically my A N.ightmare o.n E.lm S.treet franchise hot takes (mainly Freddy's Dead because WHOO BOY 😩) because I have a lot of those I feel. Also, I am fully prepared to lose my N.ightmare franchise fan card, as I know damn well that these are very unpopular opinions. All of these opinions will be under a read more because like I said I have a lot, and if you want more in depth explanations for my opinions, I'll have to make individual posts about them because Tumblr hates multiple in-depth explanations in one post apparently.

The original A N.ightmare o.n E.lm S.treet from 1984 and A N.ightmare o.n E.lm S.treet 3: D.ream W.arriors are extremely overrated - I always found them to be extremely boring. Also, Nancy's death was really underwhelming when you look at it in terms of the rest of the series.

F.reddy's D.ead is NOT a feminist movie in the traditional sense (it actually makes the female characters, specifically Maggie, look worse when you really think about it) - The only "feminist" things about it was that it was directed by a female, R.achel T.alalay, and that almost every victim in the movie is male with the exception of L.oretta K.rueger. The main female characters within the movie itself are written horribly while being given the protection of plot and main character armor even though they didn't really do much within the narrative to really earn it. No not even Tracy. The male characters that aren't Doc and Freddy himself are treated like they have no agency/autonomy in the story, and they're only there to narratively serve the female characters their purpose in the story on a silver platter until the narrative erased them from existence when they were no longer useful because why the fuck not. *cough* John Doe doing basically all the detective work about Freddy for Maggie and spoon feeding her the info that Freddy had a daughter and not a son as HE was dying *cough*

F.reddy's D.ead's portrayals of child emotional and physical abuse are disgustingly offensive because it treats those types of abuse like jokes, while they give all the seriousness and tact to the child sexual abuse survivor - Yes, I know they couldn't make a joke of child sexual abuse. Even still, Carlos and Spencer's REAL trauma and abuse should have been given the same care and attention as Tracy's. Tracy didn't have to go on a cringy exposition dump on the type of trauma she's supposed to be suffering from, nor did she feel the need to point out any physical reminders of her abuse and trauma when the movie thought the audience would forget about it. Carlos and Spencer shouldn't have had to either. Also, if you couldn't make Freddy joke about sex abuse, maybe don't have him making entire comedy routines out of physical and emotional abuse, just a thought.

Dr. M.aggie B.urnham is fucking terrible at her job and should have never gotten her license to practice - She also didn't deserve the final girl role, as she did LITERALLY NOTHING OF FUCKING SUBSTANCE the whole movie except acting like an NPC that can only say three phrases. Hell, she was LITERALLY GASLIGHTING John Doe the entire time they were in Springwood. She was a selfish, self-centered bitch who used her job as a means to her own end when John Doe was brought to the shelter. Since everyone loves to compare F.reddy's D.ead to D.ream W.arriors, Maggie is the Dr. Simms to John's Kristen and Doc's Neil AND Nancy.

Carlos, Spencer, and John's deaths in F.reddy's D.ead were literally pointless from a narrative standpoint because of Freddy essentially playing God and erasing them from existence - Spencer's death in particular creates a giant plot hole when they use Spencer's pipe bomb that he had made earlier in the film to finally kill Freddy, despite Spencer himself no longer existing.

The original shooting script of F.reddy's D.ead, along with the comic that came after the movie, is actually 10x better than the movie we actually got - Specifically with scenes like Spencer's death sequence and the beginning of Carlos's death sequence. The shooting script also gives us some more info on Carlos and Spencer than the movie did, so there's that.

The main plot of Freddy's Dead could NEVER work - Not only does it not work from a logical standpoint, as the basic math required to figure that shit out already destroyed it, but also the way the Freddy sets the plot into motion makes literally no fucking sense? Why is Freddy suddenly trapped in Springwood? If he's this damn near omnipotent dream God from killing every single child in Springwood, shouldn't he have the power to break through some bullshit barrier that's just arbitrarily placed around Springwood? Also, the main plot of Freddy's Dead is so nonsensical and pointless that almost every major streaming service spoils the weak "twist" of Maggie being Freddy's daughter.

F.reddy's R.evenge and F.reddy's D.ead are a part of the original ANoES canon, no matter how much the fandom tries its hardest to erase them - Get over it, fandom.

Kristen was selfish and dumb for passing her powers (and the inevitable headache known as F.reddy K.rueger) onto Alice. - Like, why couldn't she let the fear of Freddy die with HER? Was she not the true last E.lm S.treet kid? Wouldn't Freddy's thirst for vengeance technically end with Kristen? I mean, I know that there's always that possibility of him coming back organically, but Kristen...girl...come on honey. Why would you put your friend through that torment? She literally lost her brother and later her boyfriend-turned-baby-daddy because of you.

W.ill S.tanton and S.pencer L.ewis would have been absolutely unstoppable in their respective movies if the narratives had let them live.

All the original parents of E.lm S.treet should have been charged with murder when they lynched Freddy, and then charged with child abuse/neglect with how they treated their children years after the fact - Look, I understand why they did it and all, and I know they couldn't have possibly predicted that Freddy would return as a dream killer. However, they still broke the law, and are continuing to break more laws. The treatment of their children, including having them forcefully institutionalized/imprisoning them in their rooms and drugging them against their wills, are literal forms of child abuse. Why were we supposed to root for them again? I also have no sympathy for Freddy, by the way, he absolutely deserved to get locked up for his crimes too. However, maybe whoever was in charge of the warrant should have made sure all the proper T's were crossed and I's were dotted first before going all gung-ho.

#trashcollected

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maroonghoul · 1 year

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Additional thoughts on Slasher

A few additional points.

-In the part of how I was talking about the Friday the 13th being the scapegoat of practically the whole genre, I might’ve come off as dismissive to those who enjoy this franchise, saying it’s no better then basic entertainment. Like I said, I’ve only seen a few films, so what do I know? Like I said, I have conflicted feelings about these movies, and I leaned into the hateful part a bit too much there. I just wanted to say they accomplish exactly what they set out to do, and the most compelling parts of them are enhanced by the horror rather then separated from them.

-I also regret saying that “we” prefer simpler villains nowadays, as if I was speaking for general horror fans nowadays. I know that’s where my headspace is, and that podcasts and online critics I do follow enjoy them. I felt I was kind of being in a bubble, there. I’m not saying complex, sympathetic villains can’t work in this climate. Hell, they’re working now if you know where to look. It’s just to my point, Slasher villains are inherently inhuman and unsympathetic, (usually wearing a mask, not speaking, uncaring towards everyone they encounter, etc.). When a villain fully commits to that and doesn’t ask for sympathy, it can be strangely more compelling then a villain that tries to make sympathetic speeches then just casually murders a whole bunch of civilians the next minute. The later feels like a manufactured attempt at complexity if done wrong while the former can just be efficient storytelling.

- I can’t believe I forgot to mention ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’, ‘Black Christmas’, and other earlier slashers play into this. Well, with TCM, I think it’s still consistent even if it’s off the beaten path, in every meaning of the term. The family resorted to killing people partially because they lost their jobs at the slaughterhouse. They, and most other Redneck villains of the genre, feel abandoned by America. But they don’t have the power nor insight into realizing it’s the corporations that are causing the hardships, so they settle for the similarly ignorant but less bloodthirsty younger generation that happen to be nearby. This interpretation is not anything new; I’m just connecting the dots.

For Black Christmas, at least the 1974 original ( I haven't seen the 2006 remake and what I said about Scream apply with the 2019 movie, more or less). We don’t know anything about Billy, so it’s impossible to feel sympathy for him then even the more standard slashers, he falls in the same camp as Freddy, in that he’s a monster empowered by society’s blind spots. Having a big house can in fact be a detriment if someone can just break in without you knowing it. Or just because you got the killer doesn’t mean anything if you do nothing to actually protect or understand you child’s pain before they literally die in their sleep. Both films even end with the killer getting away with it. Billy successfully hides in the attic the whole time because no one thinks to look for him there. Plus, it had to be the jerk boyfriend who Jess killed...as if this was a case of one bad apple. Freddy’s literally dead and that doesn’t stop him. Because of a whole older generation who only believe in monsters when they see them.

I’m really into the idea where it’s not just the killer itself that’s horrifying, but the environment that allows it power. Most times, it’s as simple as isolated home turf, though I am a big fan of those where when it shows up like in Texas Chainsaw or Alien, stumbling across it feels more inevitable then shocking given the atmosphere. But when it isn’t isolated, it’s because it’s revealing a significant flaw in the systems that should’ve been able to catch it within seconds, ideally. This is something that goes back at least as far as Frankenstein and Dracula, a time where people have enough consideration of vampires or imagination to consider how a withdrawn college dropout is connected to a beastly killer.

Maybe that’s what this is ultimately about. Stories about external horror can have problem (notably of the xenophobic variety). But when focusing on internal horrors, in where you live or even in your mind and beliefs. And even indirectly; now you have my attention. Which is actually going to segway into my next post. Which I hope to post soon. Thank you.

#friday the 13th #texas chainsaw massacre #black christmas #nightmare on elm street

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gemapples · 2 years

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Plz rant to us about how much you love magolor

first of all this ask was so sweet out of the blue and made me smile a lot so thank you :) i appreciate it so much

i was gonna be all difficult and respond like "LOL are you sure" but yknow what screw it im bored and i've done that too often already so !! here ya go. everything i love about magolor

this is probably to be expected (especially bc of how often i draw him lmao), but first!! i LOVE his design. his design in particular just really stands out to me compared to the other characters ig; he has unique aspects to him that are so cutesy and charming yet contradicting and mysterious from how he looks alone. you have lil cat ears obviously but he still wears a hood and scarf so you cant see his face at all and glowing eyes??? damn. i also love his cape it's so flowy and cool AND ALSO i feel like the gear patterns are really fitting to him as well and go nicely with who he is. however, at first glance you might think his main purpose is to be a mechanic or engineer, and while that is true, he's also majorly known for being a skilled wizard, and his name is even based off the word magic. i feel like you wouldn't expect that from his design and that makes it all the more interesting... it's like there's underlying aspects that you get a suspicion about from just how he looks, which i feel is extremely fitting to his character. his design conveys that he's from another world so nicely too i feel,, you compare him to kirby and the others and he looks so different and otherworldly, almost. you can immediately tell that he's probably not from the same dimension or planet as everyone else. he has a ton of amazing concept designs but im glad they went with this one tbh it just. LOOKS the most like who magolor is and what he's supposed to represent imo. i love the others a lot too but !! in terms of his design his current one takes the cake for me

i adore how Absolutely layered of a character he is. there are so many bubbling details beneath him that have so much impact i just. God. him coming from another planet that's practically dead with very little to no life left and him not knowing what friendship is or how it's supposed to properly work, him betraying the others and falling deep into "obsession and hatred", him finding an exit, dealing with the massive pressure and apologizing to kirby, but him still getting up to funny mischief now and then !! you literally never know what you're gonna get with him (some of those might be personal interps but let's pretend they're not (whoopsie)). Just how he's developed and where he's now placed in the franchise,, he could be classified as comic relief yet he's still a main character if that makes sense?? i'm dying on the hill that magolor is a main character even though he didn't appear in forgotten land idc

i like to think he's similar to how bandee was but. also not ig lol idek -- like both of them debuted in one game and were expected to just?? not return??? but they did and became extremely significant characters who have made such a massive change. they could have chosen to cast magolor aside or whatever, say fuck it and kill him off, etc. but instead they didn't stop there and wanted to keep going with his character and give him a huge role. yeah you could argue it's bc of his popularity but i still think thats so cool tbh he just seems so unique compared to the rest of the cast in his own way and its. really interesting to see how he fits in the series in general !! him and his game are literally where kirby lore and more effective storytelling began imo and i think thats. So amazing they really tried to expand and develop the series through his character and it shows how important he is and how significant he places in terms of kirby as a whole

on a related note -- his personality is something unlike any other. they described him as "deceiving while telling the truth" and i think that's really important bc it's hard for you to tell when he's actually being genuine. and that's unique to most of the other characters and makes him feel out of place in a way and.. yeah mysterious !!! even when he apologized after he fucked up, his wording gave the impression like he just seemed to shrug it off like it wasn't a big deal despite the fact it obviously changed his life which also relates to the former thing and fhjkgfh Wow!! ofc dream collection could've taken place a bit after he actually apologized to kirby but y'know !!

also never get tired of the fact that man's ego is the size of the entire galaxy through hell and back . "look at me, i'm such a nice guy right?" I love how he actually Recognizes how important he is and acknowledges // acknowledged how he can use certain situations to his advantage and this may result in him coming off as stuck-up and thinking of himself more highly than everyone else but !! he doesn't care . Plus he's completely aware how strong he really is and just how he can use all of his abilities and skills to his advantage. Yet despite this, you may get a touch of underlying sadness, guilt, loneliness from him... all the more reason he's a layered character :)

extended from the last one but yeah i love how like. Insanely powerful he is and yeah you could say it's bc of the master crown or whatever (probably is lol) but Listen he has such a wide variety of magical attacks and i think it's so cool bc i feel like he doesn't depend on them Too much yet he still shows them off?? if that makes sense?? like he still uses them a lot for things in, say, dream collection for obstacles i don't even know where im going with this LMAO but yeah his abilities are just so !!! very cool like you take one look at him and you think he would be weak or wouldn't have any powers yet he could destroy you from like 40 miles away or something and he's one of the most broken characters in ksa, kf2, etc. mans can summon literal black holes, portals and giant swords that only kirby could previously wield like it's nothing now, if that doesn't make him one of the most powerful characters currently then idrk what does (i remember in a star allies article while describing his ultra sword they stated something along the lines of "did he secretly stash up power from the master crown? or did he steal this ability from kirby?" and while it's most likely the former in a realistic sense could you IMAGINE how insanely strong he would be if he could actually steal abilities from kirby, the most powerful character with the most powerful abilities. Just putting that out there)

said this briefly in the design paragraph already but i appreciate how many things about him can go two ways that usually contradict one another. Maybe i'm thinking too much into it but lol the most obvious one is, ofc, how he acted as a friend vs. deceived kirby but other things too like. How he combines steampunk elements and high-tech elements at the same time which are opposites. as i said he's also a magician which is !! also not something you may see with those two together i believe star allies and his name in general adds a TON of fuel to this bc it confirmed how his name literally means "false paradise" and "wonderful place" if you combine translations which also contradict each other i also like to think that "magic" in his name can also refer to the fact that he's also extremely skilled in certain areas such as yknow. Getting to handle others or outsmart them, seeing things from others' perspectives, or even being a very talented speaker altogether (a magician or wizard can also mean someone who extremely skilled at something. just a fun lil thing)

more minor things !!! but i really love how he uses slang + speaks in a dramatic way, and how that relates to his personality as explained above. no other kirby character says "dude", "beast", etc. which i feel can really emphasize how he's not from their world but it's?? very funny to think about fhdjkgh. I know other kirby characters use katakana in japanese but i believe magolor is the main // most popular example in this aspect(?? lmk if this is incorrect though, i just know galactic nova and star dream use it but im not sure about anyone else) i also like how he heavily emphasizes certain words and phrases !! it makes him seem overexaggerated and even more unique than other characters who may act in a more realistic in a way. All of them are unhinged but they're all unhinged in their own way which compliment each other well and i feel magolor adds a lot to this mix :)

speaking of which god i LOVE his voice. i feel it's so fitting despite the fact it's animal crossing language as it's widely called. like they stated in the miiverse post, i love how they made it seem authentic by making him clearly say "kirby", it does kind of make it seem like he has an accent even in english ig. It's so squeaky and cute and adorable like go off lil man!!!

i think i got a lot of everything lmao i'm sure there's a ton more i haven't mentioned or didn't think to mention but just know i love Everything about him he means so much to me like fucking hell i love this character if you couldn't tell. he's just so Good he has so many things about him yet i feel we haven't even scratched the surface of how much there is. i really think this rtdl novel will bring // brought a whole new light to who exactly he is and what he's worth and i'm always looking forward to seeing him around again :) really hope he'll continue to have a lasting impact on the franchise

(extra bonus: also like his lil salutes)

#sorry if this was like. All over the place FHDFDHJ i tried to be organized but there were moments where i literally just went off no brain #hope you enjoy all of this oml thank you again for asking :)#ask #anonymous #magolor #kirby #nvm putting this in the tags i worked hard

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noobsomeexagerjunk · 3 years

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I attempt to theorize the next Dream SMP events by comparing current plot threads and themes to the StarKid Hatchetfield productions

inspired by this post

both fandoms have addressed Dream and Wiggly as green teletubbies

Wiggly utilized the material attachments of people to cause chaos on Earth. The only people unaffected are children. That is also reflected in Dream’s actions as well as the server minors choices in the Dream SMP

“You opened a box, a doll came out,” is doublemeaning in BF, referencing Wiggly being spread around as a packaged doll (and exposure to the doll draws one to Wiggly, feeling the need to be selfish and cause chaos, which really is no different when you spend enough time with Dream) and Wiggly being given access to the human world through Hatchetfield/the door portals in the US and Russia. The lyric is a direct reference to Pandora’s Box, which the prison also references. The doll is Dream, as is the comparison above; this may reflect the possibility of Dream getting out of prison

Wiggly and Dream being tied to metaphorical terms involving sleep, dreaming, and nightmares

Wiggly can also be compared to the Egg, both of which have seemingly eldritch origins that take people via attachments. Cults have been formed around both in canon.

I am pretty sure Wilbur Soot and Wilbur Cross are practically the same. Mentor figures, fought for their country, lost hope in everything, became willing vassals to green teletubbies, contributed to the blowing up of a place? Yeah, that checks.

just the common ground of black and white coloring having symbolism in both narratives

the color green; lighting in the stage performance of Black Friday tends to utilize red, blue, white, and purple light as well

Ranboo and Hannah having ties to both the concept of black and white + webs, though Ranboo’s are a lot more figurative than literal compared to Hannah

Both narratives have several father figures struggling to be good parents, as well as several characters with daddy issues

Nukes! The “nightmare time” of Black Friday is the outcome of WWIII by the US accidentally bombing Russia in attempts to bomb Wiggly. This may influence later events, given that the nuke is missing.

Note that Wiggly never actually gets to cross to Earth but manages to start WWIII. This...this may reflect future events assuming the writing is in fact taking inspiration from Black Friday/The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals/The Hatchetfield Saga/Nightmare Time

Time travel and alternate universes exist in both franchises—for Hatchetfield, they’re reflected primarily in McNamara, Hannah, and arguably Ted.

Karl is literally being pulled apart time travelling by two places that are literally black and white. Ted Spankoffski, seen in The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals but primarily in Nightmare Time’s Time Bastard, manages to time travel and change events as well. Unfortunately the forces that let him do so doom him to the Bastard’s Box, not to mention that Ted used the Box’s power for selfish means. We don’t know what’s happening with Karl but the possibility of him ending up in a Time Bastard situation is possible, given that The InBetween and The Other Side are neither trustworthy.

Any “dead people are back” circumstance in the Hatchetfield universe is just the dead person but wrong. It’s the apotheosis zombifying its victims—particularly Emma meeting “Ben Bridges.” It’s “Bad Ethan” terrorising Hannah. It’s Jane Perkins coming back to Tom Houston’s life as a car. The resurrection arc is a major arc in the SMP right now, and people who have defied the 3 lives system have been very different from when they were before. Jack lost his humanity. Tommy came back with new knowledge but new traumas and fears. There is the fear of what will happen if Wilbur or Schlatt are resurrected.

characters like ConnorEatsPants (tied to time travel and resurrection arcs), Quackity (tied to capitalism, the prison, and the resurrection arcs), and Awesamdude (tied to the egg, prison, and nuke arcs) may play bigger roles in the future if we are in fact going the Black Friday route

There’s more but this is all I can think of right now. I encourage any more additions.

#dream smp #dream smp x starkid #dream smp theory #dreamwastaken #ranboo #tubbo #karl jacobs #pandora’s vault #snowchester #the inbetween #tales from the smp #wilbur soot #long post

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benisasoftboi · 3 years

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Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel III:

...I’m gonna need like a week to process that

I guess I know why people hate George now!

Could really use a good old reset from KeA right now

This is the best game in the Cold Steel series so far. Easily

I... there’s no way they’re all really dead, right? This series has been completely toothless about killing anyone who isn’t a villain until now, no way they’re permanently killing someone who’s been here since practically day 1, no way. Show me a body

And even then I’ll doubt it with all these revivals happening all over the place

‘He’s HIDING’ I sob as I apply clown make-up

Ben Diskin did not need to go so hard on the voice acting at Millium’s death he did not need to do that to me

My god when Angie drove into the graveyard and my PS4 popped up a little notification telling me it was a blocked scene, the tension in me... and I never saw that coming, I’ll have to see if it was foreshadowed at all by replaying CS1 and 2 some time

I saw Lughman being a baddie a mile away (a mysterious professor turning out to be evil in a Trails game? UNPRECEDENTED!) but he’s Alisa’s dad!?

Neat writing trick actually, since they probably knew we’d guess the former, they blindside us with the latter

I can’t express how happy it made me that the Rufus battle was Machias Jusis Elliot. My dream team!

Estelle and Joshua got mentioned so much I figured they’d make a surprise appearance at the end and save the day

So. Characters:

Rean: Rean is once again moderately more interesting than he was before, but still the least interesting person in the game. I guess he’s got some guilt that’s actually justified now, that’s cool?

I ship him with Crow, not because the pairing really appeals to me that much, but because being shipped with Crow would totally piss Rean off and I find that extremely funny

His relationship with Altina is the best relationship he’s ever had with a female character and it is 100% because she’s the only girl he’s never ship teased with

(I don’t have an issue with the concept of ship tease itself, I have an issue with Rean-ship tease because 1. I still truly do not understand why so many girls like him so much and 2. None of it will ever canonically go anywhere)

(Seriously I’m so tempted to write a breakdown of why every other guy in Erebonia is more desirable than Rean)

Juna: I like Juna. I realised early on that she and Kurt remind me of Estelle and Joshua, without being carbon copies, and that’s good. I also think her relationship with Rean was really interesting - ‘I don’t know how to feel about you because you saved my life, but it also wouldn’t have needed saving if it weren’t for your country’s actions, which you’ve played a major role in - but now I’m being forced to confront that you’re a human being too’ is a really complicated situation for her. It’s a lot more interesting than ‘I don’t like you because you accidentally got a face full of chest’, Alisa

I also really liked using her, I ended up loading her with the Platinum Pecky Medal and defensive stuff, and she was a wall, she took an S-craft from Arianrhod in her stride! My buff girl!

She should’ve just been the new protagonist ngl

Kurt: Kurt had a lot to live up to, seeing as his brother is my favourite minor character. And oh does he succeed, Kurt is my favourite of New VII, he’s a good straight man, he’s great in battle, I like his arc, I like his friendship with Juna, I like Kurt

Altina: I was not sure about Altina just... being a student now. But damn if she didn’t have the best character arc in the game. I only did her final bonding event on a whim, but it’s the best one I saw. My girl Allie deserves the damn world

I really, truly believe those three have a bond as well, they’re very well written as a group. This was a problem I had with Old VII, the fact that so many of them just... didn’t have relationships with each other. How do, say, Fie and Machias feel about each other? I have no idea. But this group has a fantastic dynamic and it makes that ending so much more effective

It’s like I praised Crossbell for, really - having a small core group is much more manageable in terms of giving them all equal screen time and getting me to care about them

Musse: Uh, kind of one-note and annoying, honestly. I don’t hate her or anything, but like... she’s either Being Mysterious or Hitting On Her Teacher (I hate it I hate it so much). It’s just hard to care about someone who’s clearly so fake, I guess? I’m definitely interested in her, but like... I don’t really like her

Ash: Poor boy. I thought Ash was such an interesting character (and man do I love having someone around who does not like Rean, and never really changes his mind about it). Ash is very well done imo

Alisa: Alisa is good when the issue is her family drama, and is so goddamn boring when it comes to Rean. Nothing new there

Elliot: I love his little ponytail I love it he’s so cute I want to hug him so bad

Laura: Winner of the ‘best new outfit’ award (was never that fond of her war outfit, but this one is perfect). Still good, but not notably so. I feel so bad for Laura, she tries so hard to matter, but she’s by far the character you’d have the easiest time lifting out of the game

And while I love Elliot... same situation really. You could go back to the start and have one character named Elliaura who likes swords and music and has two big-shot dads, and you wouldn’t lose much

Machias: Took down Rufus, yeah, destroy your best friend (boyfriend)’s evil family! Winner of the ‘worst new outfit’ award, AGAIN. Also winner of ‘dorkiest S-craft’. I did his final bonding event first, and according to Playstation trophies it’s the least popular one! Stop sleeping on my boy Machias guys, I know he was annoying in the first game but I love him :(

Gaius: Special award to Gaius for finally being interesting! Boy’s a Gralsritter now, did not see that coming!

And of course it happened off screen. Because god forbid interesting stuff happen to Gaius when we’re actually around

Oh also goddamn, that is a beautiful man

Emma: Don’t really like the new outfit. It’s kind of remarkable that she’s so important but I keep forgetting she exists. Exposition witch who sometimes just doesn’t deliver the exposition I guess

Fie: Still my fav girl. Wish there had been more focus on her feelings about her dad coming back to life. Like that she’s a bracer

Jusis: Wasn’t sure how to feel about his newly close friendship with Millium because I was concerned that I was meant to ship it (by far my least favourite thing about this franchise is that that was not an unreasonable concern, as it wouldn’t even be the most inappropriate relationship in this game alone). Very, very glad it was confirmed sibling-y (not that it’s stopped them before). He didn’t really get to do anything else, sadly, but he’s good as always

I did the Purebread contest with him, and he made bread from coffee beans Machias gave him, the Ferdibert Fire Emblem energy-

“What are you doing underneath this scarlet Pleroma Grass?”

Milliam: :(

Sara: Doesn’t get much to do because this cast is bloated but like, I still really like her :)

Towa: Someone needs to check on Towa all her friends are dead or evil the poor poor girl (or uh. I guess Crow isn’t... hmm.)

Angie :(

My kids Tita and Agate are back and completely overshadowed by people teasing this almost 30-year old man about being in love with a 17 year old that he’s only ever claimed to see as a sister, I swear to god

The orbal gear looks so goofy lol

Stop mentioning Schera as just being ‘totally here, just off screen, ha ha’ give her a model! Have her be here!

Don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing Josette again, I just don’t get... why? Why is she here?

Tio is back! And so is Randy, as a major character! I’m very very happy, I love them both

Michael’s fine, I guess? He’s kind of bland but I guess that’s kind of the point and I like him just fine. He serves his purpose well

I’ve never really liked Claire all that much, but she’s fine in this one again I suppose. A bit disappointed by the Lechter reveals really, I had expected more, to be honest

Aurelia is a fun character and I enjoy her as the principal. Want to see her fight Cassius

Want to see Cassius

I love my girl Annabelle, but she’s the only reason I didn’t get all the character profiles (how was I meant to know I could even go to the highway at that point hmmm Falcom!?)

They picked a good selection of returning Thors students. Even Dorothee isn’t as annoying as she used to be. Hilarious that she’s the only one who didn’t get a profile

Juna gave a great big speech about how awesome the SSS are and namedrops everyone EXCEPT WAZY! My FAVOURITE Crossbell character! So offensive!

Oh speaking of offensive I took Machias to the Mishy show and was told he and Rean did a Mishy dance but they didn’t show it, what the hell-

Playable Olivier! Olivier back story! I could write a goddamn essay on why Olivier is such a great character. Glaring at you Falcom

I miss Mueller :(

Ada Grant is wonderful and I want better things for her

Rufus is a damn great villain just because of how much sense his actions suddenly make when you know that one little detail of him not actually being Jusis’s brother

I hate Cedric but like, in a way where I’m having fun hating him. That little bitch

Literally what do you even actually want Osbourne

I still cannot stand Elise. Something I realised playing this game is that one of the things that stops the Estelle and Joshua relationship from being as weird as it could be is that they don’t look at all alike, it’s very clear they’re not related in the slightest. Elise and Rean look like they really could be siblings, and come to think, so do Lloyd and Cecile. Which is also teased, to a lesser extent. It would be so much less uncomfortable if they just swapped Elise and Alfin’s models ngl (though still not good)

inb4 the final plot twist of the whole series is that Estelle and Joshua actually were biological siblings all along

This game looks so much better than its predecessors. Having the models being a little rounder and softer looking makes it look much more like an updated version of the original style than the complete departure that was CS1 and 2. Every time there was a flashback, Rean would be like ‘back then...’ and I’d feel compelled to say out loud ‘when we were shiny, and looked bad!’

‘Evil ancient magic corrupts people into making them do bad things!’ is... honestly a bit of a cop out that I did not expect from this series

I found Rean telling Patrick ‘leave room for Aidios when dancing with my sister’ extremely funny. Rean would totally be a Christian summer camp counsellor in the real world

I honestly would have enjoyed it a lot more if Alfin decided to cause a scandal and have her first dance with Elise, but we can’t have such luxuries I suppose

When you get that book on dystopias, very clever to put the author on the last page. Seeing the name Gideon gave me such a start

Racquel was easily my fav new location

Leeves > Trista no doubt, maybe I’m just biased because it looks a lot like the village I grew up in but it’s just such a nicer design

Also the branch campus > main campus purely for being smaller, making the filler segments between field trips more bearable

I prefer the longer but fewer chapters set-up, I think

There’s so many sad faces in this write up :(

Back when I played Sky SC, I said something about how one of the themes is ‘you are not defined by your trauma’. I now think it would be more accurate to say that the theme of all the games (but especially the Sky arc) is ‘don’t let your worst experiences define you’

Because there are characters who define themselves by their traumas and worst experiences - and those characters are all villains, or miserable, or both. Like, they don’t phrase it as such, but the requirement to be an Ouroboros enforcer is ‘have trauma and define yourself by it’

And both Joshua and Renne’s arcs are about learning not to do that

Equally, the idea that ‘it’s much easier to not to define yourself by your trauma when you have a good support system that wants the best for you’ is a big theme as well

I just think that’s a really interesting idea for a JRPG series to tackle, idk

I can’t believe I’m at the last game! This series has been my life for the past near-half a year, what do I do when I finish it?

...go back and play Sky FC, maybe?

#trails of cold steel 3 #trails of cold steel #trails series #kiseki series #erebonia arc

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skinks · 4 years

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hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

#long post #films #this is like bill hader being asked to pick his fave comedies and he gives a 4 page list #he has such good taste though ahhahbfhfhfhh lemme talk with him nonstop about movies while i ride him. thank you

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ranma-rewatch · 3 years

Text

Episode 20: You Really Do Hate Cats!

(CONTENT WARNING: This blog post contains discussion of phobias, child abuse, and people doing the worst thing to intensify those problems. Those things are in the show, I didn’t just bring them up out of nowhere.)

Well, it’s that time again. Time to grab a balloon and tell my friends what I think of an episode of Ranma 1/2. We’re starting the first arc of season two with this episode, though oddly enough I feel like I mostly remember what stuff is going to happen in it. But maybe I don’t remember right? I’d love it if that is the case. Though...speaking of that...there is a certain character I have dreaded appearing in this series, and I’d hoped he wouldn’t appear for a while, but I checked and he appears this season. I...I thought I had more time. Oh well, let’s do this episode and I’ll worry about him when he gets here.

Okay, well, for the most part, this episode is actually a lot better than I remember it being. As it turns out, some of the details mutated in my head in the decade since I last saw it, and I actually thought things were worse than they were.

The episode starts in the Kuno manor, where our favorite swordsman is practicing to once again fight Ranma Saotome. But he’s not alone, because for the first time we meet Kuno’s henchman, Sasuke. He’s a ninja, and he’ll do whatever Kuno tells him to do, but he probably won’t do it very well.

From there, we see Ranma’s dad is training him in stupid ways again, and they get back to the house to find Shampoo has mailed Ranma something from China: a pink cat. That’s a problem, because Ranma has a severe cat phobia. It’s not random, either, Genma directly created it. See, when Ranma was 6, Genma thought he should teach his son Cat Fu, which he heard about from an ancient martial arts manuscript. The way to teach it is to cover the disciple in fish sausage and through them into a room with starving cats.

Obviously, that just ended up traumatizing Ranma, and the very next page of the book would have told Genma that training someone that way is very stupid. Kasumi, drawing on the common misunderstandings people have about exposure therapy, thinks that just inviting a ton of cats to be around will help, but of course it doesn’t, it makes Ranma even more distressed. Sasuke is hiding under the floorboards though, and he runs off to tell Kuno about Ranma’s weakness.

At first, Kuno says something about how he could never cowardly use an opponent’s weakness to unfairly win, but then he still makes Sasuke tell him about it, because he can still use it to win in an honorable way. The plan they go for is pretty ridiculous: they leave a note in Ranma’s locker that Akane’s been kidnapped, and he has to go to the gym to save her. But Akane is standing next to Ranma as he reads the note, so he knows that’s not true.

He goes anyway out of curiosity, only to find Sasuke there dressed up as Akane. With the wrong color wig. Even though the trap keeps failing, Ranma walks into it anyway because he has nothing better to do, until he realizes what is going on: cats. But Ranma manages to fight the fear and pretend he’s okay, hoping to just take Akane out of there, but then it becomes clear Sasuke took the extra step of also bringing an enormous tiger.

That’s when we cut back to Genma and Kasumi, and the old man explains that he tried curing Ranma of his phobia, but his way of doing so was to just keep throwing him at hungry cats, only changing the type of food attached to his body. All of it just made the problem worse, but it also actually led to Ranma developing Cat Fu. When Ranma gets scared enough, his mind just let’s go and he mentally becomes a cat.

That happens in the basement of the school, making it easy for him to beat the tiger and escape, just in time to kick Kuno’s butt without even trying. But he doesn’t stop there, and starts running around the school still acting like a cat. Akane follows him just as the dads show up. Genma says the only way to break Ranma out of it when he was a kid was with the help of a kindly old lady, but she’s dead. So, Genma tries dressing up and doing it himself. That fails, so they try catnip, forgetting that Ranma just thinks he’s a cat, so the stuff doesn’t really affect him.

The situation does kind of solve itself, as Ranma doesn’t attack Akane, as she’s afraid of, but instead curls up in her lap to purr. The whole school is watching, so that’s embarrassing for her, but then he kisses her and she freezes for a second before throwing Ranma into the school pool. Oh, and the pink cat is watching and didn’t like that. The curse activating returns his brain to normal, and Ranma has no clue why he was thrown in a pool. Akane walks home, cursing Ranma for doing that, but sounding conflicted.

So, the big thing I misremembered about this episode was I thought Genma did all the cat stuff with 0 thoughts about how it would affect Ranma and not giving a crap how it affected his son. That is actually not the case, he’s clearly really torn up about the phobia, though he still says some bad stuff about Ranma being ‘unmanly’ for having a phobia. He even tried to cure Ranma, a few times. It’s just that, well, his actions still traumatized Ranma. Sufficient ignorance is indistinguishable from malice, as they say. Genma is still, on the whole, abusive to Ranma in my opinion, but he’s not as bad as he could have been, I have to admit.

This was also just a funny episode. The comedy largely worked, even if some of the jokes didn’t quite land. Kuno and Sasuke were especially good, and I found Ranma fighting his fear both humorous and kind of inspiring. The man has a hell of a willpower. Not going to lie, the Cat-Ranma just immediately going for Akane’s lap and then kissing her was cute, I really liked that. Of course, I’m a sucker for anything with them, so I’m an easy mark there.

It’s also interesting how this works as the first part of a large arc, because if you didn’t know that was the case I can imagine thinking this was just a standalone episode. The pink cat was the impetus for the plot, but it’s what will drive the coming episodes forward.

One thing I found annoying was how different the dub and sub were this time around, in terms of script. The dub had a lot more bashing of Ranma for being scared of cats, including from Akane. That isn’t in the subtitled version at all, and I thought the episode worked a lot better there. I’m always a fan of taking liberties with a localization in order to make the story work better in the new country, but I don’t think we needed Akane insulting Ranma for his trauma.

Hey, a Character Spotlight again! Haven’t had one of these in a bit, and this one is for Sasuke Sarugakure. Let’s start with his voice actors. In the English dub, he’s voiced by Robert O. Smith. Does that name sound familiar? It should, I talked about him recently, since he’s the one who voiced Genma Saotome in the dub as well. His voice for Sasuke is extremely comedic, going for an over-the-top pathetic voice. He makes Sasuke just sound like comic relief, which he is. What’s interesting is what the other actor does with him.

In Japanese, he’s played by Shigeru Chiba, another voice actor from this show in Japan who is just known for a billion things. Standouts include Buggy the Clown in One Piece, Emperor Pilaf and Raditz in the Dragon Ball franchise, and dubbing over John de Lancie as Discord in the Japanese dub of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I was completely shocked to hear him play Sasuke with more gravitas, using a very serious voice that one would expect from a ninja, which clashed perfectly with the situations and his character design to make the comedy far better than in the dub. One of those rare times I’m actually preferring the Japanese version!

As a character, Sasuke is interesting because he’s not in the manga at all. For reasons none seem to know, the creative team for the anime decided to delay introducing minor character Hikaru Gosenkugi, and replaced him with Sasuke. We’ll get to Hikaru when he appears, but I don’t really mind Sasuke’s addition to the show. Giving Kuno a henchman just makes his dynamic even better, and there’s something I just really like to Sasuke’s almost naive way of trying to plot and scheme. I don’t actually have any deep analysis, at least not as of yet, just wanted to give him a moment in the Spotlight for being something interesting.

I didn’t expect to like this episode so much! It wasn’t great, there were parts I didn’t care for, but on the whole I’m happy to see my expectations overcome. I’m putting this episode in the middle of the pack, at the #10 slot. It was fun, but it has a lot of better episodes when it comes to making me smile. (Or cry.)

Episode 7: Enter Ryoga, the Eternal ‘Lost Boy’

Episode 12: A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 15: Enter Shampoo, the Gung-Ho Girl! I Put My Life in Your Hands

Episode 9: True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 19: Clash of the Delivery Girls! The Martial Arts Takeout Race

Episode 6: Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know

Episode 13: A Tear in a Girl-Delinquent's Eye? The End of the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 17: I Love You, Ranma! Please Don’t Say Goodbye

Episode 20: You Really Do Hate Cats!

Episode 16: Shampoo's Revenge! The Shiatsu Technique That Steals Heart and Soul

Episode 8: School is a Battlefield! Ranma vs. Ryoga

Episode 11: Ranma Meets Love Head-On! Enter the Delinquent Juvenile Gymnast!

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Episode 10: P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin'

Episode 14: Pelvic Fortune-Telling? Ranma is the No. One Bride in Japan

Episode 18: I Am a Man! Ranma's Going Back to China!?

Next time we’ll continue this tale with "This Ol' Gal's the Leader of the Amazon Tribe!" which, as you might guess from the title, will introduce a new character. This one’s actually from the manga! See you then, y’all.

#episode 20 #You Really Do Hate Cats!#ranma 1/2 #ranma saotome #genma saotome #akane tendo #tatewaki kuno #sasuke sarugakure #anime rewatch #anime analysis #cw: phobia #cw: childhood trauma

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yue-muffin · 4 years

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Time Raiders (2016)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

In my quest to consume the entirety of the DMBJ franchise available in English, I have decided to start with the non-canon movie because at least this one has an ending, unlike the train wreck that is Reboot/Chongqi’s pacing. I will probably be bitter about that for all eternity, but I digress. I heard good things about the movie from the bird app, and as I am a Pingxie shipper at heart, I decided to finally watch this one.

P A R T O N E

The cut-in animation to the title was gorgeous, I do so love the qilin in every adaptation. It’s particularly striking here with the gold outline and geometric, maze-like lines. It looks like the cards at the very beginning were being arranged in the image of this qilin.

My first reaction upon seeing white people in a dmbj adaptation is: oh no, the English, but I was pleasantly surprised to hear perfect English that matches the actor’s lips! What a miracle, haha. I remember The Lost Tomb 2 being the worst for how many lines had to be in English, sob.

These look so cool. I see we start off with a good old “seeking immortality” antagonist, and an obsessed collector who has dedicated his whole life to this apparently. As usual, he is a scumbag threatening the locals.

The old guy’s accented English is also better than TLT2, ha. The breathy/nasal quality is not at all uncommon. I don’t know what language the locals speak though.

Me, immediately: Zhang Qiling already??

I know he appears in rather early in TLT1, TLT2, and Reboot/Chongqi, but he’s so often mysteriously absent or stuck behind a gate (or in Reboot’s case, put on a bus) that I got excited, ok.

My favorite Zhang Qilings are the cold-looking pretty boy types in terms of my mental image of the character, but this one is also very easy on the eyes and as usual, unfazed in the face of danger coming at him with a knife. This is the only series in which I’m not bothered by the constant cast change between adaptations (unlike Ever Night), I suppose since it’s been this way from the start.

I’m interested in seeing how the backstories differ from canon. It’s actually rather interesting that this is pretty much an official AU, like that’s kind of wild as a concept. I’m used to the late 1990s/early 2000s anime adding new characters and changing plot points and endings everywhere, but Time Raiders takes it a step further.

Zhang Qiling being an ultra-competent badass who doesn’t even need a weapon to take the bad guys down never changes, no matter the universe. He steamrolls everyone, no questions asked.

Did he- he break the blade with his bare hands hahaha. Oh, yup, and a Zhang Qiling with a weapon is even more dangerous. I see those severed fingers. Such a good fight scene and we’re not even 5 minutes into the movie.

I love how he could have simply fired the arrow while he was still on the statue, then jumped down, but he had to be Extra and fire while he was jumping off haha.

It- the divine piece was right there?? By “beneath the statue” I would have thought it would at least be under it, not in a convenient little slot on the side of the altar area haha. So Zhang Qiling’s mission is to destroy the divine piece(s)? To, um, save the world apparently.

WHO ARE YOU? What an excellent question to ask a Zhang Qiling (and that staring into the mirror shot, too.)… I wonder if this one even knows - it’s possible he doesn’t have his signature amnesia here.

Wait- a gate? I think it’s in a cave or something in the novels, but gates have significance in DMBJ. The cinematography is really nice in these mountain shots. I know nothing about film, but I like the shots in the snowy mountains.

This Zhang Qiling knows and practices martial arts on screen! You would think he’d pull some moves normally, but in the drama-adaptations he tends to just beat people up as efficiently as possible. Sometimes with his sword. Other times he just fights ‘em. I have to admit Jing Boran looks excellent going through some forms. He nailed the force and power underlying every movement, then exploding outward with a strike. I do like the impression it leaves.

I, on the other hand, am an absolute noodle and look ridiculous when I do martial arts.

What in the world is happening in this flashback scene with the weird CGI qilin. Ah, it’s when he received his tattoo. That was super dramatic.

Wushanju is looking real edgy with the heavy iron gate on the interior, haha.

He is puzzling (ha!) over those cards so intensely you’d think it was a thousand piece puzzle instead haha. You’re almost there! Just a few more to finish the qilin!

Aw, is this our Wu Xie? Haha his facial hair is- hm. But I love his voice it’s so soft. Really fits that “Mr. Naive” vibe.

Is that. Is that the author of the series. I found out that he makes cameos in almost all (if not all of) the adaptations!

NO. ONLY I CAN FINISH THE PUZZLE. HANDS OFF BUDDY.

Why are there so many pigeons in here. Who let them inside.

A writer, who came to hear his story and turn it into a novel- HA yup it’s the author.

“This should be a story about me and him.”

Ahh I’m loving it already. DMBJ is the ultimate bromance story. Fair warning, I do ship Pingxie so my shipper goggles will be on throughout the movie. But even without shipping, you do have to admit the series is a bromance underneath all the mystery – between the Iron Triangle, between Wu Xie and Xiaoge.

This Wu Xie is a photographer and that is sort of adorable. Already there’s a theme emerging of needing to record events and telling stories. Interesting that he wants to turn his memories into a novel to record his experiences, because otherwise he’s afraid those memories might turn into a mere story in his own head. Wu Xie, that’s a worrying mindset.

Those ancient mask things always make me crack up, I don’t know why.

Ooh, background about Wu Xie’s birth into the Wu family. I’ve never read up to the part in the books where they go into his place in the family in detail. To be fair, his grandfather had three sons and only one of them had any kids – and Wu Xie is his parents’ only child. So, he becomes the only one who can really carry on the family legacy. Aw, I really like seeing his extended family present though! In the dramas we only ever get either his Second or Third Uncle, and he rarely ever mentions his parents even though they’re alive.

And there’s his namesake! The origin of his nickname, and the irony once the story gets into the Sha Hai timeline.

Wu Xie was a bit of a rascal as a kid, haha. To be fair he has a pretty sharp tongue in the novels and is mostly a pure cinnamon roll in the early dramas.

Little Wu Xie in a suit is so adorable. Nooo kid don’t go into locked up abandoned places. He’s already so adventurous haha. Seems that it’s not actually abandoned judging by all the lights on, but.

UH. MASKED MAN BEHIND YOU. I think he wants that item back. This is why you don’t go into abandoned places, kid. He definitely does not learn his lesson though. Also why are you still holding onto that thing, just drop it, I think he wants it back.

Haha he kept one of the coins.

WOAH. Every month someone in your family dies?? That’s uh- sort of traumatic. Also that would be a really good first line for a novel…Just saying. I do love the singing though.

Oh, the Nine Families exist in this universe too! They even give a quick explanation about the ranking system.

Oh yeah, I love how Wu Xie is such a nerd for all this knowledge of ancient texts and tombs. And YES HE FINALLY DOCUMENTS STUFF FOR ONCE.

Uncle Three looked dead for a moment there, scared the shit out of me too.

VAMPIRE MOTHS? Oh I hate bugs I would not be okay lol. WHOOPS. You guys are really good at reading ancient texts on the fly lol.

That’s the mask he has in the beginning of the film, isn’t it. NO DON’T TOUCH THINGS IN TOMBS. AHHH. So you just put it on your face?? Well that was a stupidly simple way to open the door. I’m guessing the creator didn’t care if anyone opened it.

This guy just severed his own arm, ok…and how many years later is his hand still clinging to it? UH. THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T TOUCH THINGS IN TOMBS. Then he proceeds to steal the box thing.

Ah the white dude again. I am so happy there is GOOD ENGLISH though haha.

Oh, hi Zhang Qiling. Just hanging out on a rooftop I see.

He looks so melancholy. Someone give him a hug! This adaptation makes him more human, less stoic robotic superhuman, I noticed. You rarely see him eat or drink anything in the other adaptations, but here he’s just chilling on a rooftop having some drinks haha. It’s ok. I love all the Zhang Qilings.

WHAT THE HELL, LIGHTNING? What the hell is this high tech machinery haha. Eight days? Coincidentally eight days after sitting in a tomb for how many years.

That is a very Extra bookcase to hold a book that apparently has ALL the secrets.

WOW that is a fancy notebook. It looks so beat up in the other versions haha. In this one, it even gets its own hidden shelf in a giant portable bookshelf!

The props for this franchise are so cool and detailed. I always wish they would show more of the creative process in the BTS, I’m such a nerd for that stuff. The Longest Day in Chang’an was pretty good at that, which is half of my enjoyment of that show haha!

I’m also still pleasantly surprised they bothered to incorporate other languages. I’m not sure what the Snake Lady and the old man in the beginning were speaking, but at least the English is good.

I can’t believe they worked in a steampunk chastity belt this movie went all out, huh. Also with these weirdly high tech structures and lightning and moving tomb structures.

And all the pieces start coming together! So that’s why it’s believed they hold the secret to immortality. What a steampunk-looking key.

Is that a writing desk??

Oh, they’re getting a team together to go tomb raiding! Ha, forget money! You may or may not end up dying on this adventure, so who cares about money, right.

He’s so cute standing there with his camera. Look at the little smile as he watches everything going on!

It’s a desk and a storage container?? Oh, there are ~qualifications~ to going on tomb raiding. Makes sense. That is the oddest looking sword.

Must appreciate Zhang Qiling’s fingers in every adaptation. They look very strong and steady here. Let’s not talk about the slooow trailing across the handle.

Wow did you really just throw sand in his face. Have we not learned not to mess with Zhang Qiling after he trounced that first guy who attacked him. I love the fight scenes so much after the bore-fest that was Reboot/Chongqi’s second half of Season 1.

Super pretty, but why did it cause him to stop and stare in the middle of the fight?

This is like a Final Fantasy sword haha. Also I think you should stop while you’re ahead, why did you think a table would stop this dude. (Hey, it’s Da Kui! He was in the novel but not TLT1.).

It’s HERE. Their first meeting. How did he know the coin was on that cord? It wasn’t visible, I don’t think. But uh. That was a hilarious move on his part, he is so Extra?? He just casually flicks the necklace off with his big-ass sword and it drops into his hand. Then casually goes “oh, here, you dropped this” as if he wasn’t the one responsible for it coming off in the first place!!

HERE IT COMES. The unnecessarily long eye contact. Pingxie in every adaptation needs a Staring Into Your Eyes scene.

Real smooth.

Ahh this Wu Xie is such a cutie. He’s like a puppy.

WHAT. Third Uncle, I can’t believe you let him tag along so easily haha. In the beginning he was scolding Wu Xie to never get involved in tomb business, then what happens? They’re going tomb raiding!!

Next Up: to the tomb we go! This can’t end badly or anything what are you talking about.

#daomubiji #time raiders #dmbj #盗墓笔记 #image heavy post #perhaps don't view on mobile #in which i lose my mind for 2 hours #the muffin's liveblogging adventures

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trickstercaptain · 4 years

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JACK, MASCULINITY & BISEXUALITY.

so I’ve made absolutely no secret of the fact that one of the big things I love about Jack as a character ( among plenty, plenty of other things ) is how he challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, and I’m gonna use this meta opportunity to elaborate on that and hopefully connect it to Jack’s sexuality ( mostly within his canon verses, though a lot of this does also apply to his modern verse ). the long and the short of it is that Jack is simultaneously allowed to be a badass and admirable to the audience and display selfishness, cowardice, his own quirks and his desire to avoid violence wherever possible. the first two demonstrate the perks of being an anti-hero, but it’s the last one that I’m going to talk about first: Jack does not like violence. he will choose methods of solving a problem that avoid, where possible, the use of brute force, even when it puts him at a disadvantage. he chooses not to shoot Will in order to escape the smithy in CotBP despite that proving to be the easiest way out, and he is told by Barbossa in that same movie that it’s likely the mutiny would not have happened if he hadn’t been such a merciful captain. we are encouraged to like him as an audience because he uses his wits to get out of trouble, and we are encouraged to like him in spite of the fact that he is the worst swordsman of the franchise, relatively speaking, and that he in fact loses every single fight he is a part of ( unless he cheats, which he does frequently ).

second, he is also allowed to be quirky. a lot of this links in with the idea that Jack is an archetypal trickster: he is transgressive on purpose because that is what a trickster does. he breaks the rules because it’s fun, he manipulates others because it’s fun, he gets bored easily and uses trickery and deceit to get ahead of his opponents while casting himself as a fool. tricksters also tend to have a very fluid attitude towards gender because, once again, it is another way to transgress boundaries, and there’s certainly an undeniable sense of androgyny to Jack. I’m not here to label him as anything because a) in Jack’s canon any modern ideals just wouldn’t apply and b) he is still a man and, more importantly, still benefits consistently in his narrative from being a man, so this androgyny is purely in how he outwardly expresses himself rather than the result of any internal struggle. he is experimental and individualistic and this is one of many ways in which Jack’s character draws on the rock star tradition ---- particularly the rock star tradition of challenging masculinity with the way they dressed on stage ( think Bowie, Jagger and Hendrix ).

but this sometimes effeminate expression of his sense of self does make it more difficult to be taken seriously by others, both within his own social strata of fellow pirates and outside of it: he wears kohl that, while practical, accentuates his pretty boy, fey image, he wears his hair long and braided ( which isn’t necessarily a sign of “femininity” in itself, though he combines this with tying trinkets and beads and jewellery into it ), he sways as he walks ( again, a practical response to being on a ship for long periods of time, but isn’t something that Jack ever seeks to correct in order to appear more intimidating ) and is fond of theatrical gesturing which, yes, feeds into a stereotype but means that in no way does he carry himself in a typically masculine way. for instance, the way Jack sits: while yes there are times when he deliberately kicks his feet up on the table to occupy extra space and piss people off, he doesn’t consistently sit down in a way that emphasises his physical power or dominance ---- in fact, in the last multiple Jacks scene in AWE, when Jack is talking to himself in the brig, we see one of the clones crossing his legs with his hands on his lap as he sits on the bench ---- something I would argue is rather reserved and not overly masculine in nature.

now there’s an argument to be made that Jack uses his effeminacy to his advantage, in the same way that a trickster would bend any rule that benefitted him, and that this isn’t the true him, but I’d argue that, while there is of course an element of using that behaviour to encourage others to dismiss him as a fool of no consequence, it is too consistent for it to be an act, particularly as it causes him as many problems as it does solutions. it’s absolutely in his nature. another great example I want to draw on is in The Price of Freedom, where Jack uses his “sexuality” ( I use this word loosely as it’s really the only way to describe what he does lmao ) to unsettle one of Teague’s lieutenants and jailors and throw him off, both while he’s been searched airport security style and while he’s trying to conspire with Christophe to break him out of Shipwreck’s cells.

“Roger, old chum, unless you want to cause me embarrassment—and yourself a lifelong case of envy—by demanding that I actually produce the goods for your delectation…er…inspection, I’d suggest you desist.” He batted his eyes at Teague’s lieutenant.

[...] Without answering, Jack abruptly turned to confront Mortensen, who was looming behind him, scarcely a handbreadth away. “I don’t care if you’re present, Roger, but must you breathe down the back of me neck?” He rolled his eyes. “Or are you trying to work up the courage to grab me backside and give it a squeeze?” He’d spoken loudly, and his voice carried to all Christophe’s crewmen. The cell-bound pirates laughed, whistled, and jeered obscene suggestions at Mortensen.

I love this scene because it shows how Jack switches effortlessly between typically masculine and typically feminine behaviour and uses both to achieve what he wants. the seductive act of flirting with Mortensen ( despite the fact that Jack is twenty in this scene and is very likely half the age of the jailor in question lmao ) to throw him off is a very femme fatale sort of solution ( and that is an archetype that Jack plays around with a lot ), but being a man adds an element of what I spoke of earlier too ---- that he’s more likely to be dismissed as an irritating little shit and not someone who is conspiring to break someone out of the cells. he also relies on the hyper-masculinity he is surrounded by when he speaks loudly enough for all of the pirates in the cells to hear and jeer Mortensen in response, further embarrassing him and diverting his attention long enough for Jack to make his intentions to Christophe clear.

because this is the thing about pirates, friends. yes, they were largely accepting of and/or unbothered by homosexual behaviour, and had crews who operated in a far fairer way than many merchant or naval ships of the same period, but they are still male-dominated environments. female pirates are rare as far as historical records show purely because we only know for sure that a few were women. women would, for the most part, have to adopt masculine traits in order to exist in the same space, and many would and did disguise themselves as men in order to achieve this. Jack is therefore something of an anomaly in his challenge of male gender norms ---- he could act more like your typical brutish, violent male captain and have a far easier time of it because that’s ultimately the sort of behaviour that is rewarded in this hyper masculine space, but he doesn’t, and this is where he stands out and positions himself as an outsider even in the profession he had literally branded into his arm.

Jack has also been directly hurt by this culture of hyper masculinity, too. it’s clear that his grandmother sees him as an easy target for her abuse because he both struggled to and didn’t want to conform, and he faces similar criticism from Teague because of his non-violent personality. in his attempt to not become like Teague, too, Jack internalises his own anger and aggression which makes him self-destructive as opposed to outwardly destructive to others. Christophe is the most similar pirate in the franchise to Jack in terms of the flamboyant way in which they both present themselves ( and Jack is no doubt influenced by Christophe in that respect, though that’s another meta entirely ), but Jack does not share his ruthless, amoral personality. and he is mutinied against by Barbossa because people are easier to search when they’re dead. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but it speaks to the strength of Jack’s character that he remains a largely good-hearted individual when it ultimately comes down to it, and did not contort his sense of self in order to make his life easier.

so linking all of this into his sexuality, while Jack is bisexual by modern definitions of the word and does not have any shame associated with it due to the openness of pirates to living outside of the established norm ( and the fact that Jack grew up among these pirates, so would likely have not realised the extent of the prejudice that existed until he joined the merchant service and entered into civilised society ---- and I mean, when he did he was called a molly at one point by Mercer ), he was never properly taught how to have a healthy relationship with another man, whether romantically/sexually or not. Jack doesn’t really have many positive close relationships with other men to draw on ( Robby and Gibbs are of course the exceptions, and they are both extremely important ) and all of the betrayals in his life until Elizabeth come from men. moreover, just because pirates were more accepting of homosexual relations between men, doesn’t necessarily mean that pirates should be held up as paragons of healthy behaviour lmao, both in general and in regards to male on male relationships. ships are male dominated microcosms in the same way that all-male prisons are. and this is why Jack does develop one toxic male trait: the inability to express his emotions in a constructive and open way.

Jack therefore, for the most part, just doesn’t like men. he knows how to get along with them, he certainly has a brothers-in-arms approach to his crewmates and isn’t beyond liking the odd one or two, like Robby and Gibbs ---- and it is certainly a theme that Jack is drawn to those soft, non-threatening, nurturing sorts of men ( to fill a void of nurturing behaviour in his life, imo ). of course he has trashy taste too thanks to the lingering damage of his crush on Christophe and living and growing up in the sort of environment that rewards hyper-masculine behaviour, but his most successful relationships with men are those he doesn’t perceive as threatening, and those who are happy to compliment rather than challenge him in his position as captain.

meanwhile, he loves women. absolutely fucking adores them, and I don’t mean this just in a sexual way, but in a genuinely appreciative way too. he craves their company and prefers their company to men ( he is honestly so much happier sat at a table with five other women than he is sat with five other men ), and I think this is because he’s more likely to find acceptance with them than he is men, and historically speaking in his life has found greater understanding and affection and care from women than he ever has from his own sex. and I think in turn, because he too is a very non-threatening sort of man, absolutely a woman’s man like my god, is why he is generally adored so much by the women in his life in spite of his flaws and lesser traits lmao. why do Giselle and Scarlett constantly let him back into their lives?? because yes he’s fun and good in bed but, if Jack’s list of corrected lies to them at the end of AWE is any indication, he also spends a considerable amount of time just talking to them, spending time in their company and getting to know them.

#&. depths few had ever begun to glimpse ( meta tag. )#abuse tw #pirates are cool but also terrible people: the essay #i'm kidding i'm kidding #but this is where there's a disconnect between jack representing that debonair swashbuckler fiction in the way he acts #vs. the harsh reality of piracy which is violent and demands a certain kind of masculinity #and jack is in this constant state of both adhering to and challenging those male gender norms #and being shaped by and simultaneously rejecting that environment #essentially jack's relationship with piracy is a troubled one #but yes have 10 rambly paragraphs !!!! i'm just pleasantly surprised that i actually finished this one before the end of pride month lmao #i still need to address his sexuality properly in modern but that's a whole other kettle of fish

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seyesnyl · 3 years

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Critical analysis of a Comic book

During my search for books and articles to aid my practice-based research, I came across the text “Critical Approaches to Comics: Theories and Methods”. This book offers a look into the critical analysis of books and the theories and methods their authors employ. It focuses on four essential aspects of a graphic novel/comic which are: Form, Content, Production, and Reception. In each of these parts, contributors with comic criticism expertise discuss their methods of analysis and put into practice these methods on selected comics or graphic novels.

It is an insightful book and going through it made me understand different ways a comic could be analyzed and further understood. I had recently purchased a comic book called X-Men Red (Fig. 01) and wanted to try out the procedures that some critics had employed in their analysis.

Peter Coogan in Chapter 15 Genre: Reconstructing the Superhero in All Star Superman, discusses the superhero genre and its characteristics. He offers a guide towards analyzing the superhero comic book and its context. His procedures entail multiple readings to properly critically analyze.

First reading: Familiarize yourself with the events and characters of the story.

Second reading: engage with the text at a deeper level, note the conventions (heroes, villains, love interests, etc.). Note how are they used; seriously or comically or problematically? Observe structural pairs (events, characters, icons, and settings) that reflect and comment on each other.

Third reading: attend to the sequential artistry of the comic book.

After these three, the analyst should assemble their notes and try to identify patterns in the story, using conventions, and the sequential artistry that leads to discovering the thematic concerns of the authors.

He mentions that superhero comics are usually intertextual in that they reference other texts and those should be watched out for. He also says to consider the general tendencies of comic books produced at the time the text you are analyzing was published.

Lastly, it should be noted how the characters represent oppositional attitudes (both semantically and syntactically) and how these oppositions are mediated. Then determine what you have to say about the story and how the text supports and reveals the points you want to affect.

(Smith and Duncan, 2012)

Fig. 01 Cover of Taylor, T., Alixe, P., Lee, S., Kirby, J. and Asrar, M., 2018. “X-Men Red - The Hate Machine”. New York: Marvel Worldwide.

After three readings and making notes, I assembled this analysis on two chapters of X-Men Red (1 and 2).

The comic starts with a one-page introduction of Jean Grey back into the comic universe, back from the dead. It’s a sequel to her actual resurrection chapter, but this first page helps bring the reader to speed with synoptic text and imagery (Fig.02). “I was the Phoenix”, “I burned so brightly”, “And then I was dead”, “And everything was dark”, “I’m alive again”. She is pictured in the last panel of the page recollecting this and reflecting on the events straight after her resurrection.

Jean’s death as the Phoenix is a famous story in the X-Men universe, and just last year, a second live-action movie adaptation was released in theaters worldwide. The first was released in 2006 and there have been many adaptations in comics and animated programs over the decades since the story of her death was first introduced in 1980.

Fig. 02- Excerpt from Taylor, T., Alixe, P., Lee, S., Kirby, J. and Asrar, M., 2018. “X-Men Red - The Hate Machine”. New York: Marvel Worldwide.

From the first page to the following pages of this chapter, Jean acts as the narrator of the events that happened just before she died, and after she came back to life. This is done through green text boxes in the chapter. She catches up with the rest of the X-Men team, and we watch her move from here with her blue-skinned teammate Kurt, to another setting where we get the first glimpse of intolerance towards mutants that will be the focus of this story. Kurt is the target of discrimination by a passer-by and through this, we also get to see a glimpse of Jean Grey’s strength as she deals with this situation. It is revealed throughout the book that Jean can use her powers to its extent without fear of the Phoenix entity taking hold. The extent is yet unknown to her, but she knows she was being held back before.

This theme of intolerance towards mutants (people with abnormal abilities and sometimes appearances) is a topic frequently explored by the X-Men franchise more popularly and taken more seriously compared to any other comic in the superhero genre in my opinion. The seriousness is similarly conveyed in this comic book.

There are similarities in the discrimination mutants face with what minorities in our real world go through. In this instance with Kurt and Jean, it is indirectly shown that even though they are both mutants; Kurt is singled out by a normal white-passing man because he outwardly presents to be different with his blue skin and long tail while Jean is overlooked because she appears like a normal human. Likewise, in the real world, the more obvious your difference is, the more bigotry you are likely to face. Darker skin, non-Eurocentric features, gender-queer appearances, disabilities, etc.

Fig. 03- Excerpt from Taylor, T., Alixe, P., Lee, S., Kirby, J. and Asrar, M., 2018. “X-Men Red - The Hate Machine”. New York: Marvel Worldwide.

It is obvious Kurt faces this all the time, and he seems to brush it off, but Jean is coming back into this world as sort of fresh-eyed and is appalled the hatred has become more emboldened since she had been gone. It is an added effect she is a mind-reader and reveals the hateful man is scared and does not understand half of the things he professes to hate, which is a common belief about bigots. She also alludes he is among the infamous internet trolls that write bile to strangers from the anonymity and safety of his room. It is fair to say that the “internet troll” in recent times is one of the most prominent social bullies. This man is a clear representative of today’s social and digital hate culture

The first chapter concludes by panning back to the image of Jean in the setting of the first page’s panel, narrating the story of her coming back to life and what she has faced so far. It is from here and the following chapters that the story moves into the present. Jean says that with her new life she will ensure to change this hateful world.

The art of this chapter is a bit unusual to me. It tends to be abrasive. I haven’t paid much attention to western comics recently so that might be a factor in my unease. The artist Pascal Alixe uses short dark lines that don’t flow together for shading and this gives the character’s faces and bodies a rough appearance. The art also doesn’t follow the regular pin-up styles for female characters that comics are famous for. They appear stockier and more muscular than the typical comic representation which, realistically, makes sense for the jobs they take on.

In chapter 2, since Jean has been revealed to be a strong mutant, and we are following her quest to save the world, it is curious to witness how she goes about it. A fascinating way she does this is by using her telepathy to link the brilliant minds of others to solve a specific problem. She does this when she invites distinguished thinkers from all over the world for a meeting and links their minds with her powers to develop an idea to make the world better. She pulls a similar feat later in the comic when she uses Black Panther’s neurological knowledge and the powers of Trinary, a new teammate, to remove an item from a person’s brain. Doing this passes across the message that complicated problems can be solved by bringing together the skills and talents of different people. A telepath might not be realistic, but someone with empathy and good interpersonal skills may achieve this.

In a United Nations meeting, Jean pleaded her case to the world ambassadors. Referencing Professor Xavier’s intent for ‘mutantkind’ – who believed mutants could win normal humans over by being heroes when needed and being invisible when not – she says mutants should not need to be heroes for acceptance. This is a fascinating sentiment as she (or rather the author) could be referencing other superheroes in the superhero genre and the terms of being accepted. This calls upon the intertextuality of the superhero genre. Superman, Spiderman, and other heroes with powers have often had complications with public acceptance until they proved they are useful to society by using those superhuman powers to save their citizens. This also translates to real-world issues. For example, how black people often need to be exceptional before they are thought of separately from stereotypes.

In an examination into ‘homo-normativity’ in children’s literature, Lester (2013) posits that in most queer literature for children, there is an emphasis on the queer or gender non-conforming character to earn approval as opposed to being entitled to it. She states in the article that “This motif of having to prove oneself means the main characters are accepted only after those around them learn to appreciate their differences, the implication being that there is ultimately something unacceptable about gender nonconformity for which young male characters must compensate”… “These cases of privileging individual exceptionalism as the only way of gaining acceptance still maintain that gender nonconformity is unacceptable and should be avoided”.

Fig. 04 - Excerpt from Taylor, T., Alixe, P., Lee, S., Kirby, J. and Asrar, M., 2018. “X-Men Red - The Hate Machine”. New York: Marvel Worldwide.

Unfortunately, this chapter ends with Jean being framed for the murder of an attending ambassador by the villain of the story, Cassandra Nova. Even though Jean had made some progress during the meeting, the situation has now become worse than before as it is publicly witnessed a mutant has murdered someone that appeared to have opposed her. Before the frame job, a message from Nova was passed to Jean informing her that she had upset the status quo with her actions and would face the consequences. Taking this back to the real world, this alludes to what many social activists and minorities discern, which is that systems have been put in place to ensure that the oppressed remain oppressed for the benefit of the oppressors.

In the subsequent chapters, the story develops further; however, it is noticeably told from an intriguing point of view. More common superhero stories find their heroes playing a more passive role. They live their lives until an accident happens nearby or a super-villain wants to take over the world or rob a bank before they act. In X-Men Red, Jean could have waited for the anti-mutant tensions to rise and actual conflict to ensue before she acted, but she takes on an assertive role and is seeking to achieve a goal and is now being thwarted by the villains.

I researched on remarks from the author, Tom Taylor, about the comic, and he states “this book is Jean Grey coming back to life, but not coming back to the life she left behind. She doesn't want to come back to that life either. She's seen that the world has moved on. It's changed and she doesn't like everything she's seen. She's very empathetic and she feels so much of what's going on around her that she wants to make an actual change to the world. Not just for ‘mutantkind’ or humanity, but for everybody”. He doesn’t out-rightly mention the subliminal social commentary and that is likely because it speaks for itself and is not heavily nuanced.

I find this book pertinent to current times and it is thought-provoking without losing too much on the entertainment factor. As a consumer of superhero entertainment, it is usually difficult for me to grasp how a really powerful protagonist can lead an engaging story, but when faced with the seemingly insurmountable problem of bigotry, discrimination, and changing the hearts of people, it is a worthy challenge and I can’t wait to see how it culminates.

This has been an insightful task for me and the text that assisted my analysis has expanded my outlook on comics and the different facets of it that I never paid attention to. This will undoubtedly help me in my practice to be more intentional about the choices I make in the comics I create in the future.

References

Lester, J.Z. 2014, "Homonormativity in Children's Literature: An Intersectional Analysis of Queer-Themed Picture Books", Journal of LGBT youth, vol. 11, no. 3, pp. 244-275.

Smith, M.J. & Duncan, R. 2012;2011;, Critical Approaches to Comics: Theories and Methods, Taylor and Francis, Hoboken.

Taylor, T., Alixe, P., Lee, S., Kirby, J. and Asrar, M., 2018. “X-Men Red - The Hate Machine”. New York: Marvel Worldwide.

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robbyrobinson · 4 years

Text

Family Diner

(Alternate reality take on the series that may or may not have some invoking of the Old Gods.)

Working for Fazbear Entertainment was a thankless endeavor. A franchise dedicated to making the most in terms of children's entertainment. I remember when the establishment was struggling and was practically dead on arrival. I was assigned to work for a branch of the company called Fredbear's Family Diner, a family-oriented establishment. Business was down in comparison to their rivals and reviews further sunk the chances of parents taking their rowdy children to any of their branches.

But what kept it afloat was two men: Henry and one William Afton. Afton came off as being a crude replication of a man. He was of a sickly thin stature with his purple business suit barely clinging onto his body. His eyes were sunken in and possessed a yellow hue. When I somehow got wrapped up in his business, he shook my hand. He had the most skeletal, papery skin around his fingers. He smiled at me, but his smile was disconcerting as well. It was artificially made like a mask and seemingly rubbery in texture. His low husky voice did little to match up with his lips' movement.

"It is a pleasure to see that you have decided to join our goal."

I mustered up as much of a smile that I could, but I could not deny that I felt intimidated already. At least his business partner was more affable. He was leagues above Mr. Afton in terms of physical appearance. He had a healthy skin color, a peachy one, and a brown beard. He was already thinning on the top of his head that he often hid away with a top hat. He wore a blue business uniform and was more on the plump side of the spectrum then Afton could attest to.

"We are somewhat falling short of quality, I admit to that," Henry confesses, "but I will give it my best to make sure you do not regret working for us."

Henry showed me the ropes of the establishment while Afton tended to seclude himself in his room for the remainder of the day. Sometimes he would disappear in the middle of conversing with me, Henry, or any of his employees. Each time, he trudged to his office and slammed the door loudly as if not wanting anyone to become aware of what he was doing in secret. Sometimes I managed to catch a glimpse of some glowing, luminescent orbs floating without direction in his office before he slammed the door shut.

Before long, Henry introduced me to early iterations of the franchise's animatronics. Fredbear and Spring Bonnie to be exact. Long before the likes of Freddy Fazbear, Chica, Bonnie, and Foxy the Pirate, there were two animatronics. These animatronics were oddly high-tech for their time with the Spring Bonnie animatronic in particular also doubling as a suit. Despite them being technological marvels, they lacked a certain flair. They were devoid of personality or charm. Children were less likely to fawn over them as frankly they came off as being creepy robots. Naturally, they were, but some children could at least look past that issue and accept them as their friends. Henry noticed me looking at the two animatronics one early morning, understanding what I was thinking without me having to tell him.

"I know it isn't much, but kids will love them if you are willing to give them a chance."

A ludicrous proposal, but I did try to become more invested with the animatronics. But their hollow eyes and endoskeletons clouded any good feelings I may have had for the robots. I did feel somewhat bad for Henry, but I would not lie to myself that there was inherently nothing appealing about Fredbear or Spring Bonnie. The franchise was now verging on full scale closure and if it did not shape up, the business would be shut down and the employees would be without a job. Henry and Afton had to do something. Fast.

But my god if it did not come with a cost.

Time passed and at the beginning of the month, a child went missing. The authorities were notified of the disappearance and during our regular scheduling, they stormed the diner and went to speak with the owners. Henry was charitable as always and spoke calmly with the police. According to their discussion, it was an 8-year-old, porky boy who disappeared during the open hours of the establishment being seen with Spring Bonnie. I stood by listening to the conversation. At the corner of my eye, I caught Afton edging further away from the authorities and this time opening a door to the backroom of the diner and slamming it behind him.

An utter nightmare of a day that was, but I made the most of it and headed home only to return the next day. I had quite the shock; Spring Bonnie and Fredbear appeared livelier and more active. They had a glint in their eyes that sparkled. I would even swear that I saw them blink a few times. Henry approached me, with a full smile on his face. "Told you it would be a matter of time, but the kids now can't have enough of the two!"

I smiled back. Well, I could not deny it: whatever happened proved to be beneficial for the diner. However, Mr. Afton noticeably stayed longer in his office hardly ever leaving to discuss any recent developments with any of our staff. The few times he had temporarily left his office, I noticed that his skin became progressively paler almost matching his business suit's coloration. He was becoming more of a walking corpse each passing day then when I first became employed at the diner. But I did initially shake that observation out of my mind instead attributing that to disease. Mr. Afton was a sickly man, after all. It maybe could be easily explained away that he was most likely suffering some type of illness, perhaps of a hereditary variety.

Business was booming at a greater rate than ever before. Birthday parties were being held at the diner. Reservations were filled. Everything was going well. At least until one day that is. On one of our less busy days, Henry took me to the side. He was sterner and more serious than usual. "What is it sir?" I asked in genuine curiosity. I almost sensed the dread in his voice. Was it that I was going to be laid off now? I have been representing the establishment for about two months now.

"My son is coming to have a birthday party tomorrow."

"Oh, a birthday party for your son?" Henry did often mention in passing to having a daughter. This was probably the first time I have heard him having a son. But it made sense with what he said next.

"My boy…is greatly terrified of the animatronics. It is a rather odd dilemma. He used to really love the animatronics at least until his older brother started to terrorize him by dressing up as one from one of our owned pizzeria chains. Humorously, he keeps his plush animals around. As you can probably tell, he is greatly important to me hence why I keep him under surveillance numerously. Sometimes at the diner. Sometimes at home by installing a tracking device inside of his stuffed Fredbear doll."

That was unsettling, but I could easily tell that he was fiercely devoted to his son. So, I listened tentatively to what he was saying. I was to keep watch over his son while his party was underway. Pretty simple I first thought. On that day, I sat to the side watching the young boy. He and his sister and mother sat far away to the near back of the diner away from the prying eyes of the animatronics. It pained me seeing a young child like that be so frightful of the two-animatronics stationed in the diner, but he slowly began to enjoy himself in other ways.

But with anything what started off as harmless fun devolved into urgency and mass hysteria. When the boy's mother slipped from her seat to go to the restroom, the boy's brother arrived at the diner wearing a Foxy mask along with his hooligan friends. The boy's fears started to kick in with his breathing becoming more frantic. I called out to the boys demanding that they cease their behavior, but I was met with only the mocking laughing of the boy's brother and friends. They scooped the crying child into their grubby hands and walked in the direction of Fredbear. The boy's screaming rung through the diner. I nearly could not listen to it with it being that pained and frantic.

"Why not give Fredbear a big kiss?" the brother asked.

Despite his younger brother's protests, the brother placed his head into Fredbear's open maw. Fredbear's maw moved in an up and down fashion, sluggishly moving. They all laughed at the boy's utter humiliation and fear.

Crunch.

The laughter stopped as quickly as it began. The boy suddenly became limp and lifeless. Blood trickling down Fredbear's furry cheeks. Upon closer inspection, the force exerted by the animatronics' jaws caved in the boy's skull. Blood was everywhere. I never heard so fierce a scream ever and I hope to whatever ethereal being that was out there in the cosmos that I never would again.

I scrambled to get to the diner's work phone and dialed 911. "Yes, we have an emergency on our hands. Our address?"

Henry was in an obviously distraught mood with the whole thing. He was greatly devastated by the freak accident. He reacted harshly to his older son dismissive of him trying to apologize. Even when he was being taken away to be interrogated. He was a broken man in all but his sanity. Mr. Afton was in his office again, per usual, but he left it upon hearing all the commotion. He approached Henry with curiosity. When he was given the rundown on what happened, Mr. Afton tapped his shoulders. His skin was becoming purple, as if it were decomposing. His eyes were stretched wide.

"Do not worry, old friend, we will put him back together."

The hell kind of ominous statement was that? Henry looked Mr. Afton over suspiciously and alarmed at what he was saying. Without needing to say anything more, Henry pried his hand off his shoulder. Afton shrugged his shoulders and headed towards the backroom to resume whatever he was doing. The diner shut down for a good week or so until the disappearances resumed.

Everything was picking up for the diner. Much of that had to go with how well-received Spring Bonnie and Fredbear were. As I have said, they were once devoid of much expression and personality, but through whatever means, business was flourishing. At least until that incident involving Henry’s son. It felt like a fever dream with how rapid it was in its action. Since then, Henry acted more embittered. He kept up the image of being affable, but he nevertheless became colder to me and the staff. But Afton’s insistence that he would help put Henry’s son “back together” still lingered in my mind. His son was in critical care; how could Mr. Afton even begin to believe that he could put his friend’s son back together as if he were a broken vase.

But ever since that 8-year-old boy went missing, seemingly disappearing in thin air, more children around the diner began to fade into the shadows. A young girl with green eyes and blonde hair was last reported mourning her deceased puppy dog. Around that time, the Spring Bonnie animatronic was mysteriously missing. I remember Mr. Afton detailing the exact specific functions of the Spring Bonnie animatronic saying that it was specifically designed to be worn by an employee; he called it a springlock suit. The suit itself was called such because of its springs and wiring that could be…well, for lack of a better word, locked away. But he warned me that if any moisture got into it…he represented the situation by balling a scrap of paper between his hands. Accidentally touching the springs or breathing on them also proved to have deadly consequences. Why in good faith would Mr. Afton even think that it was a good idea? It was a lawsuit waiting to happen. Oy, this company.

But more bizarre than that was how Mr. Afton began to ramble odd remarks about…gods? If he were a religious man, that would be fine, but he would keep talking about odd anomalies and how at one time, they ruled over the world long before mankind took its first few baby steps. He spoke openly bout his dedication to the gods and how they were the ones behind the success of the franchise. His skin no longer resembled any recognizable skin tone. He became akin to a shriveled grape in the sun. His eyes were so sunken in now, all I could make most of was a thin shade of darkness where the whiteness in his eyes should have been. My staff members were most assuredly disturbed by Mr. Afton’s slow transformation, but he did sense it in the back of his mind. He now spent most of his time either alone in his office or in the backroom only emerging towards closing time. One day when I was about to punch out and call it a night, Mr. Afton took me by the side and smiled at me. Even his gums were purple.

“I do not know the time of day or the hour, but the gods will return to reclaim this world. I may be dead by that point, but I hope that you will survive to see their return. Yog-Sothoth will open the gates wide and the gods will terry the lands as they have done long before.”

Years later, I still saw Mr. Afton’s words as being the breaking point for me. Thinking back on it, Mr. Afton was never sane to begin with. He was blessed with the technological know-how, but he had odd manners about himself almost as if he were stark mad. He became obsessed with the aspect of opening the Gate to usher the gods of old back into our plane of existence. Once they arrived, the powers within this planet would be reverted to them, and Yog-Sothoth would drag this rock into the void between worlds where he rules. Outside of time and space itself; outside of the organized world into realms of madness and disorder. Into a realm of decaying, dead planets and faceless gods.

Within the first week of the month, four more children vanished under mysterious circumstances. With every single instance, the Spring Bonnie suit was absent, suspicions falling on the employees that they were deliberately spiriting the animatronic suit away to use it for nefarious purposes. As the weeks went by, adults lost hope of the original missing children ever being found. An employee was charged for the murders and was sentenced to be executed. Word spread that he was being set up but by whom none could tell or let alone agree.

Another month passed with the adults and parents giving up on the missing children and accepting that the employee who was accused of the crime was the best they could attain to closure. Spring Bonnie and Fredbear continued to rake in patrons sometimes getting booked for personal reservations. With more money in their pockets, so to speak, more animatronics were gradually introduced to other locations but also fell under the same dilemma resonating with the diner formerly: the animatronics were lifeless. Granted, they were robots so that could be kind of the point. But lifeless in that they were not entertaining. Henry at that time did not take much concern about the other locations due to mourning the loss of his son. That responsibility squarely fell under Mr. Afton. Whenever he left his office, he wore a trench coat to hide his body coloration. He would tend to be gone for days at a time, but once he was done visiting, the animatronics also took on a life of their own and were on the receiving end of a warm reception. The Spring Bonnie suit also followed Afton throughout the different locations.

Henry and I grew closer to each other due to Afton’s abrupt leaves. He entrusted me with spieling out his frustrations and sorrows and appreciated me as a confidant. I would give my concerns about how Mr. Afton conducted his business and placed it at his feet. Each time, Henry felt the need to explain his co-owner’s oddness away in the most trivial of ways. Afton’s devotion to the gods of old became increasingly problematic and impeded on his side of the business scheme. Yet he kept insisting that the gates will be opened. Sometimes he looked at me almost as if hoping that I would be the one to open the gates.

Henry’s older son was still away somewhere in a juvenile correctional facility. His surviving daughter was named Charlotte. I had seen her about once or twice. She was the near image of childhood innocence. She treated other kids respectably and was always there to lift their spirits or be the one who would offer their shoulder to lean on. Charlotte was Henry’s pride and joy. Which was why I found what happened to her leagues worse than what befell his son.

Business began as usual with me taking orders and keeping watch on Fredbear. Without warning, Henry erupted from his office frantically causing the documents in his hands to fall onto the floor in a heap. I tried to intervene and ask him what had happened, but all he could reply was “Charlie, my daughter…”

Charlie was found dead at one of the pizzerias. From whatever explanation that was readily available, forensics speculated that she was sick from a stomachache and for whatever reason opted to run out of the pizzeria. By the time that happened, an assailant attacked her leaving her in a pool of her own blood. It was raining heavily at the time and some of the blood was already disappearing from the scene. When some of the employees noticed that Charlie was absent from an arranged party, to their shock, they found their surveillance animatronic, nicknamed “The Puppet” by the side of the deceased girl. From their research, they found a green bracelet on the corpse’s wrist that was meant to be a signal for the Puppet to indicate that one of the children were not in the pizzeria. Strangely enough, Charlie’s blood trickled into a puddle with the rainwater and it met up with the animatronic. The Puppet was returned to the backroom under the shared fear that it had malfunctioned. Purple streaks were underneath the Puppet’s eyes. As if it too were weeping.

Henry’s controlling over the situation worsened. He could not think rationally nor critically. His demeanor changed ultimately with him being dismissive with me and the other employees. He could no longer be trusted with dealing with the diner’s finances. Even just thinking about it was enough to push him into one of his winded tangents about the unfairness of life. Mr. Afton remained behind locked doors during Henry’s mindless dribbles, but he had what I at best could call a demented sense of intrigue at what happened to Charlie. Instead of consoling Henry over his loss, Mr. Afton instead asked questions about the murder and continued to speak on his occultic obsession. It was incredibly distasteful, but I could sense that Afton did at least have a small iota of sympathy for his co-owner’s plight. Maybe to the furthest extent I could give him some leniency was perhaps he was not as monstrous as I imagined him to be. He leaned into Henry’s ear and whispered something. I had not the faintest idea what he could have possibly been saying, but Henry’s eyes lit up. It must have been something about Charlie because his color returned to his skin and the glint returned.

“Just follow me,” Afton said.

Without speaking another word, Henry followed his old friend. They walked past his office which was lit again with the light of those glowing orbs. I quietly followed the two men whilst they were none the wiser, and I stopped when they approached the double doors of the backroom. I darted around the corner and remained there until I heard the doors slam shut.

They were gone for a deafly long time. I had waited for at least two minutes for either two to come out, but it was a fruitless decision. I returned to my station and took more orders. When I got finished with that, my eyes floated over to Spring Bonnie and Fredbear again. They still looked lively as usual. While it came off as less of a surprise, I did notice a few quirks that the animatronics had. They were singing their typical substandard tunes that the children ate up, but the adults reviled as earworms.

An hour passed when the two men were gone, but I heard the doors open again. A floored Henry emerged from the backroom the color in his skin tone diminishing. He was white as a ghost. He rubbed his eyes in a maddened haze when the smallest light entered them and became near intelligible from whatever Mr. Afton had shown him. He stammered slurred words and grasped his head between his hands. “Souls…remnant…blackness.”

I ran towards him out of concern. Whatever he had seen had made him into such a psychological mess he barely had any memory of me and his surroundings. He was speaking what amount to anti-intellectual dribble.

“A mist of darkness swirling and writhing in every which direction. Ropes of tentacles made of ink on top of a drove of primeval legs each innumerable and infinite. Some being that is centuries old undoubtably older than our known universe. Mouths on every orifice of the creature’s abominable form. Rows upon rows of mouths with hideous monstrosities leaping out of the open maws in a maddening frenzy scurrying away from their ‘mother” in fear of getting devoured. Green slime raining down from the open maws, And oh my god, that goat head….”

Mr. Afton clasped Henry’s shoulder. “You have beheld our source of revenue. One of those elder gods who I have summoned to Earth. I serve her with every fiber of my being. Do you not see that without her we would be no better than the worms beneath our feet?”

Henry swatted his hand away, “I…need some time to myself.”

Mr. Afton frowned, but with what little remained of his lips it came off as artificially contrived. “Take all the time you need, old friend. The time is on the essence.”

He turned away from the madman and momentarily looked at me. I was going to respond, but he immediately turned again and exited through the front door. The time he dedicated to himself evolved into minutes, to hours. To days. To months and finally a whole year.

He never returned to the diner.

With Henry's departure, business began to plummet. Without his hand over management of the finances, Fredbear's floundered in reviews with not even the liveliness of Fredbear and Spring Bonnie doing much to turn heads. Henry never went to any of the branches in Fazbear Entertainment. The last I have heard about him; he was still ranting wildly about whatever Mr. Afton had in the backroom. None knew what was behind there for Mr. Afton made even staring at the double doors prohibited. In the backroom of the diner, there came rustling and chillingly low growls. They resembled no such animal on this Earth. They were the sound of freight trains all going in the same direction and forming a massive collision.

Everywhere that Mr. Afton went came the utmost disturbing of news of children going missing in the different sections of the franchise. The Spring Bonnie suit was permanently retired due to Mr. Afton's insistence of using it for personal projects. Mr. Afton no longer resembled a human but an emaciated skeleton whose very bones were a darker shade of purple still. The very fact that he was still able to move around despite there being little fat on his body was a miracle. Or should I call it a curse?

At Freddy Fazbear's Pizza for instance, there was a case of five missing children consisting of three boys and two girls. It was another one of those booked reservations for a birthday party that was being thrown late in the afternoon. Witnesses claim that they were seen going into the backroom being led away from the other screaming children and bustling parents by one of the golden animatronics. What happened next was sketchy: they just…faded away seemingly in thin air. No bodies were ever found. No one noticed that the kids were missing until about four hours later. Mr. Afton was there – wearing his trench coat yet again – looking suspicious as always. He aided the search party anyway he could even placate younger children by voluntarily giving them tickets so they could play in the arcade or giving them pizza slices free of charge. There was never so much protesting from moral guardians before in the history of Fazbear Entertainment and there never would be again. Parents held other parents as being to blame for the Missing Children Incident if it benefitted them regardless of their allegations being factually sound or not. The grand witch hunt led to the families incriminating a security guard as being the guilty party. They ignored his attempts at trying to reason with them and was arrested. Mr. Afton stood by and with what little remained of his mouth, he made a short whistle.

As there were no bodies found at the scene of the crime, the security guard was found guilty of the five children's disappearances and sentenced to five life sentences. To this day, he still insists that not only was he innocent of all charges, but due to the prejudices that were thrown his way, the moral guardians failed to catch the real killer when they had the chance.

Sometime after the whole ordeal, something peculiar befell the animatronics. They began to reek afoul some attributing the scent to unveiling of an ancient crypt. Blood and mucus secreted through the eyes, nose, and mouths of the animatronics. Due to the mass disappearances of children at the pizzerias, surveillance technology was added to the animatronics, here called "Toy Animatronics." They were supposed to be linked to a criminal interface and were "revamped" versions of the original four of Freddy, Foxy, Chica, and Bonnie. There were also the additions of that wretched Balloon Boy and the upper executives remodeled the Puppet they had from the other pizzeria perhaps convinced they could revamp it as well. But they warned that one had to continually wind its music box to keep it at bay. I do not know what it would entail if someone neglected to do so, but I assume whatever is the result, it is not pretty.

Fredbear's Family Diner's days eventually came to a slow, excruciating end. There were massive layoffs and Fredbear was decommissioned and sent to be hollowed out for scrap metal. I could have sworn that I saw Fredbear's eyes move about in a frantic pace and his movements stiffened. It was disheartening to watch. Mr. Afton remained in his office for a long duration of time not interacting with any of his staff or employees. I was the last one left and as I gathered my things, Mr. Afton called out to me again.

"Do you mind staying a little longer?"

"Yes sir, what do you expect from me?" I responded.

"I'm sure you are dying to know what was behind these backdoors," Mr. Afton explained, "since your services are no longer needed here, I feel that now is the appropriate time to reveal my inspiration."

I shrugged my arms. Mr. Afton was becoming more unnerving by the second, but since I had nothing at the time to lose, I decided to humor him this one time. After all, I may as well not be expecting to see him again. He held out a bony finger and flicked it. "Just follow me."

I followed the deranged man like he asked of me and we both disappeared behind the back. I have seen just about everything this franchise had to offer, but I could not mentally prepare myself for what I was about to see.

We made it to the double doors and Mr. Afton held the knob sternly in his hand, fondling it even. "Behold my muse."

He…opened the door. It was like what Henry had mentioned. There in the back was a large creature of indiscernible design. The creature was of a larger scope that my brain began to short circuit from my desperation at trying to comprehend what I was seeing. A swirling mist of darkness and tentacles all on top of goat legs. Smaller creatures leapt out of the maws of the monster and acted abrasively towards each other. A dark paste-like subject was leaking from underneath the dark being that was being gathered through an irrigation system. Tubes and wires led towards a vault where the dark matter was pumped.

"What? What is all this?"

Mr. Afton smiled again. "As you can see, I have been in quite the desperate debacle with trying to keep revenue flowing to the diner. After trying the more legal means of doing so, I became desperate. Henry and I were. So, I did further research and ultimately, I found the answer to my dilemmas. Shub-Niggurath."

Green slime dripped from the many mouths of the Black Goat of the Woods. A hideous creature with even more abominable offspring, Shub-Niggurath a fertility goddess of sorts that was worshiped by many cults. But why…why is Shub-Niggurath in our diner rather than anywhere else? But what caught my eyes was the dark substance being collected into large vaults.

"That my dear boy," Mr. Afton said in a sing-song tune, "is what I call remnant."

Remnant I thought. It was an odd term for whatever…this was. My mind was still trying to wrap around as to why Mr. Afton summoned an Outer God to our plane of existence. "That is what I had been injecting into the animatronics to give them life," he explained.

"How did you do that?" I asked though I plainly did not wish to know. As I finished my thought, I saw something to the side of the room in a small heap. I ran over to it to get a closer look. My mouth was agape with horror. It was clothes of varying sizes discarded with nonchalance. My mind began to comprehend what it all meant, but Mr. Afton gave me the answer anyway.

"It is simple, my boy; children are sacrificed to satiate my goddess' hunger and once that is done, I pillage through the remains of secretion and from there, I harvest remnant. Remnant at its simplest and purest of form are condensed souls of the children."

I wanted to vomit in repulsion, but none came out. What a despicable endeavor. But it explained why Spring Bonnie and Fredbear felt so alive. They were with the melted down souls of any unfortunate child that was lured away and sacrificed. I believe that they were in deep pain and writhing with every wave of pain. My heart went out to those children lost.

"You psycho, how could you kill all these children!?"

Mr. Afton laughed. "They are not truly gone; they live on in various forms some within Shub-Niggurath herself or as the animatronics they love. I am sure you had some favorite character once, correct? Well, I am also positive that you wanted to be them in some way?"

My hands shook. "What of Charlie? Was she also apart of your sick experiments?"

"That one I admit had no real purpose behind it," Mr. Afton confessed, "it was more a happy accident."

He crossed his arms. "If my foolish friend allowed me, I would have put his precious boy back together again. You know that I have the means and resources to do so. Ah, such a tragedy that was."

I had enough of Mr. Afton's callousness I went to turn around, but he grabbed my arm. "Wait, please hear me out before you do anything rash."

"I am done listening to you."

"My time is not promised," Mr. Afton said bluntly, "I have tried to use remnant to make myself immortal, but it had bleached my skin and is poisoning my bloodstream. Please devote the rest of your days to serving my goddess."

I grabbed his hand with my other hand and pried him off. "You have tampered with something unearthly and grave. You can go sleep with the worms for all I care."

Mr. Afton sighed. "Then we have no other reason to speak. I hate it very much."

He made another grab for me and caught me by the collar. There I was being dragged towards one of the many maws of the Black Goat of the Woods. Mr. Afton muttered something beneath his breath maybe some slurred praise to the Outer God. With her acidic breath coming ever closer, I had to think fast. I leaned forward and bit down on Mr. Afton's wrist. He hissed in pain and covered his hand with his other to ease the pain. I scurried to get back up and I punched him squarely in the face. He fell to the ground with a thud. Before he could say anymore, one of Shub-Niggurath's tentacles darted out and grabbed his leg.

"My goddess, wait, do not do this to your faithful servant!"

Mr. Afton was being dragged into the goddess' open mouth and her young took interest in what was happening and came down on Mr. Afton clawing and scratching his face. I was frozen in fear but if I did not leave, Shub-Niggurath would direct her attention towards me. I ran as fast as my legs could take me down the hall ignoring Mr. Afton's screams asking for assistance. My legs were giving out quickly, but I fought for my life.

The foundations of the diner were crumbling from the rapid movement of Shub-Niggurath. By the time I escaped, the ceiling caved in and collapsed in on the walls. When the dust was settled, Fredbear's Family Diner was nothing more than a pile of rubble. Afton and his goddess were buried deep in the debris. I had survived, but at what cost for I was the only one aside from Henry who knew what Afton was really doing.

I tried going about living my daily life, but I am still bothered by Afton's horrific experiments and his attempts of trying to usher in beings potentially worse in their scale from what Shub-Niggurath could attest to. But whatever was out there in the cosmos, I was relieved that at least the apocalypse was averted. But for how long?

#five nights at freddy's #william afton #fnaf #fredbear #henry #scott cawthon #fazbear #fazbear entertainment #afton family #crying child

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slamsams-blog · 4 years

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The Man With The Golden Gun - #24WeeksofBond

Roger Moore is back for his follow up outing after “Live and Let Die”, and this time...IT’S PERSONAL. “The Man With The Golden Gun” quite surprised me tonight. I usually come into these Mondays with a pre conceived notion about the Bond movie I’m about to watch. For whatever reason, I came into tonight with the notion that this movie was on the dull side and that I might be in for a bit of a snooze fest. Well my notion was wrong, and I have to say that I enjoyed this movie. It’s not perfect by any means, there are some moments that leave me scratching my head, the plot with the energy crisis is a tad confusing, and we have a Roger Moore that is extremely short on patience - but it’s a good thrill ride, with a few laughs, cool stunts, kung-fu, and nipples.

Yes, nipples.

This is a story of a skilled hitman who kills for pleasure, and gets paid very well for doing so. Francisco Scaramanga, played by the great Christopher Lee, is portrayed as Bond’s equal in terms of marksmanship. He carries an unusual 4.7 millimeter gun, made out of gold, that is assembled with a lighter and a pen that shoots bullets that flatten on impact; making them untraceable. There is no photo of him and nobody knows where he is, making him the most sought after hitman who will kill anybody for the price of (cue Dr. Evil voice) ONE MIILLLION DOLLARS...go ahead, put your pinky to your mouth, I’ll wait.

This is a fun storyline especially with the wild and wacky funhouse that Scaramanga has at his estate for his human target practice. What also makes this movie memorable is Scaramanga’s personal butler Knick Knack (Hervé Villechaize) who helps Scaramanga with his game. In the pre-title sequence we see this play out with a man coming to the island, no idea why, but its apparent that he is there to kill Scaramanga for a chunk of cash. Knick Knack has a vested interest in this, in the fact that IF Scaramanga DOES meet his match, and is killed, he receives everything. So it’s a game between friends, Knick Knack makes it challenging for Scaramanga to get the kill, because Knick Knack kinda wants him to get killed, and because Scaramanga gets off on the thrill. Healthy relationship wouldn’t you say?

Scaramanga picks up the W (albeit unfairly with mirrors and such), and before we head into the title sequence, we see a wax figure of James Bond himself. This is just odd to me. Why go out of your way to make something like that? What purpose does it serve other than to establish that Scaramanga has his eyes on Bond? Silly things like this bother me. So it is set, we are about to witness Bond vs. Scaramanga, kill or be killed.

This brings us to my LEAST favorite Bond theme. I think they were kinda going for a hard “Goldfinger” thing here, but Lulu’s performance is just so obnoxious and the lyrics are so plain and straight forward...”He has a gun, he will shoot you, and you will die”, that could’ve been a lyric here. So points docked against the movie here for the song.

What they start to make us think in the beginning is that Scaramanga has sent a warning to Bond with a golden Bullet with “007″ engraved on it - signaling that Bond is next on his list. Therefor, M relieves Bond of his current mission, gives him a sabatical, and indiscreetly hints that Bond should use his time to hunt Scaramanga down before he pops up and puts a bullet in him. But what we come to find out later is that the plot is way more than what we think. Bond is tracking where the bullets were made and follows the scent until he comes across Ms. Anders (Maud Adams), Scaramanga’s mistress, who is picking up the bullets. She tells the most overtly aggressive Roger Moore Bond ever where he will be, and this is where the plot thickens.

Bond is where he thinks Scaramanga is gonna be, but Scaramanga shoots another man even though Bond was in plain sight. The man shot was the guy Bond was looking for in the mission he was let go from. This leaves Bond to question that if he is the target at all. Turns out, Ms. Anders sent the bullet to MI6 because Bond is the only man who can kill him, and she wants him dead because he is a creep who rubs his gun on her...not even being facetious, I mean literally. So Bond has been put into a hit job without him or Scaramanga knowing. But Bond comes to find out that Scaramanga has been paid by a Chinese 1%er named Hai Fat who has control over a Solex Aggitater.

Now I’m not going to begin to pretend that I understood any of the solar energy storyline, so I’ll spare you my wikipedia research and just leave you with this - there’s a Solex Aggitater and Bond wants it.

So we are led on this wild chase for the Solex, and along the way we meet characters like Mary Goodnight (Britt Ekland) who is a staffer for MI6 who has been working with Bond for a couple years now. Although, at the time, this character was intended to be humorous and light hearted...It just comes off very sexist. The dumb blonde trying to help Bond but keeps mucking things up because she’s a woman...did not age well, that’s for sure. We also run in to JW Pepper again, the foul mouth, racial stereotype spewing cop from the Bayou. He must have been a huge hit after “Live and Let Die” enough for them to bring him back for a second time. It’s rare that the Bond franchise brings back characters, so he must’ve made a good impression on the audience the first time around.

We also witness one of the more incredible stunts in the series with the corkscrew car flip over the river. This stunt was apparently done in one take and it’s still such a cool scene. One of the things that make the Bond movies so great is their heavy emphasis on real stunts, rather than relying on computer graphics. And this stunt is just an example of that.

Another amusing part of this movie is that Bond wants to go see Hai Fat, so he asks Q to make him a sticky rubber nipple. Scaramanga had one distinct characteristic, he had three nipples. So obviously a fake nipple stuck to your chest means you are now Scaramanga. I just find the thought of Q making a nipple amongst all the cars and gadgets he’s making hilarious.

Bond finally tracks Scaramanga down and flies to his island where Scaramanga is waiting for him with lunch. As usual, the villain treats Bond to a meal, explains his plans in detail, before he tries to kill him. They dine on some mushrooms, and have an awkward exchange in words that would make any dinner guest get up and pretend to go to the bathroom. During this conversation, it is decided that they will duel. Fun. But it’s all a ploy to lure Bond into his wacky funhouse for another game. But unfortunately for Scaramanga, he is dealing with the Yogi Bear of British Agents - smarter than the average.

Bond goes underneath the platform and hides in the scaffolding, away from all the cameras, putting Knick Knack in the weeds (a restaurant staff term for overwhelmed). Scaramanga notices that something is not right so as he is walking around, we see that Bond mannequin from the beginning, but Bond has replaced himself with it, puts a bullet in him, and picks up the W on Scaramanga. Then after retrieving the Solex, Bond has completed his mission. Now off to get steamy with Mary Goodnight on a boat. Fortunately for us, the film is not yet over. We get one last fight scene between Bond and Knick Knack that is just entertaining.

While this film is riddled with short comings and uncomfortable social norms that are not okay in this day and age, “The Man With The Golden Gun” is such a fun movie, and Roger Moore is beginning to hit his stride with the character. Not a huge box office smash however, it is one of the lowest grossing Bond movies in the series and almost put the franchise in jeopardy. It also gets pretty mixed reviews, but I have to admit that I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

That does it for me this week, sound off! Let me hear you, what did you think?

Reviews from Friends:

Andrew Albertsen

Honestly hate this theme song...I appreciate they were going for a different tone.. it’s just that the results were poop

Jake Benrud

This song also gets stuck in my head, but I agree. The lyrics are dumb. Here's another one where if the Villain would have just killed Bond when he had the chance, he might have succeeded in his evil plan, but what fun would that be?

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with -

Skyfall

#James Bond #Roger Moore #The man with the golden gun #24WeeksofBond #Christopher Lee #Austin Powers #dr. evil

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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961

What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Unsettling films are my jam, man. To name a few, there’s Eraserhead, Room, Midsommar, Eyes Wide Shut, Misery, and most recently, I’m Thinking of Ending Things. Eraserhead takes the cake though. That movie always makes me queasy...

What unethical experiment would have the biggest positive impact on society as a whole? I’m a firm believer in nothing good ever comes out of unethical practices. I’ll never forget reading about an experiment where a group of newborn babies were given basic needs like food and being bathed, but weren’t shown any affection whatsoever and it was meant to see if humans can survive with just the most basic physiological needs. By the end of the experiment period half of the babies were dead. The results were honestly a lot bleaker than how I’ve put it, but I don’t wanna be a downer lol. Suffice it to say that experiment haunted me for days after reading it.

When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? It was around a week or so ago, I’m pretty sure.

Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? My sister is into K-pop and I hear insights from her all the time, but her one constant is that BTS breeds the most annoying, toxic fans. I’d have to agree. Ariana Grande’s fandom was also annoying at one point, but I haven’t heard much from them making a mess these days.

What are you interested in that most people aren’t? Autobiographies.

If you were given a PhD degree, but had no more knowledge of the subject of the degree besides what you have now, what degree would you want to be given to you? Why would I deserve a PhD on something I’m clearly not qualified for...I’m not sure I’m following this question right, but I don’t feel like thinking too hard about it.

What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I’m happy with the features that are widespread now, but I wish companies adhere more to countries other than the common ones like US, UK, Australia, etc. I always see ads about phones being able to tell you how much movie tickets cost or track boarding passes, but those are all irrelevant here. It makes a lot of Apple’s basic apps useless on this side of the world haha.

What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Long-term effects of poor habits like not getting enough sleep or drinking too many cups of coffee. I know because I’m guilty of this.

What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? “I won’t think about that now, I’ll think about it tomorrow,” but I usually say it to myself, especially when I feel stressed.

Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? Better, but idk if that’s just me being biased because my generation will be the next parents lol. I just think that a lot of Gen X parents still have a lot of dated prejudices and mindsets that my generation was able to learn better from. For example my mom doesn’t like using people’s preferred names, especially if they’ve transitioned -_____- and I know I’d never want to set such an example for my kids.

What’s the funniest joke you know by heart? I know I’ve come across hilarious ones but I always fail to come up with one when asked on the spot.

When was the last time you felt you had a new lease on life? LOL RIGHT NOW

What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? It’s more stupid than funny and I know I’ve already mentioned this before, but Covid Bryant as a first and second name still takes the cake for me. My sister went to school with a girl whose name is just her surname backwards, and for a time I was really weirded out by it. But in the times I’ve seen her she really owns her name and never looks bothered by it, so I quickly stopped caring.

Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? For me it would have to be organizations for animal welfare.

What TV show character would it be the most fun to change places with for a week? Post-El Camino Jesse Pinkman. I wouldn’t want to live through his chaotic shit from Breaking Bad, but his fate after El Camino is something I’m super envious of.

What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now? Flip phones, Blackberry phones, Roshes, Frappuccinos.

If you were moving to another country, but could only pack one carry-on sized bag, what would you pack? Phone, laptop, their chargers, important IDs, some of my favorite tops and jeans, underwear, essential toiletries, wallet, a family photo, a journal and pen, earphones, certain knickknacks to remember Gab and my dogs by. Minus the clothes, all of these are pretty tiny so I think these would all fit in the bag just fine.

What’s the most ironic thing you’ve seen happen? I don’t know. I’m not really a fan of rating the most/worst this and that stuff in my life, either. I feel like I unnecessarily rack my brain too hard for them when I take surveys to have a chill time.

If magic was real, what spell would you try to learn first? Probably something that’d keep my dogs from dying.

If you were a ghost and could possess people, what would you make them do? No thanks. I’d be the chillest ghost tbh, I’d like to just sneak up on people’s business and hang out but never interfere in them.

What goal do you think humanity is not focused enough on achieving? Climate change, global warming, alleviation of poverty. Corporations and the few people who actually have the power and money to change things only ever come up with short-term shit like donations and never look at the big picture. What problem are you currently grappling with? So many personal ones. But just like the recurring theme of my surveys so far, “I don’t want to get into it.”

What character in a movie could have been great, but the actor they cast didn’t fit the role? As much as I love Kristen Stewart, I heard she was cast as Princess Diana for an upcoming film and I’m not really feeling that decision. They could’ve gone with a British actress for starters?????? The movie is still in production but it is pretty annoying to think about lmao.

What game have you spent the most hours playing? Probably GTA: San Andreas as a kid.

What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? Luxury hotel beds are always so fluffy and comfortable.

What’s the craziest conversation you’ve overheard? Omg one time at a coffee shop Gabie and I sat beside this older couple that obviously was going through some heavy SHIT. There was a lot of animosity and tension between them and I caught the lady silently break into tears a few times. I never overheard anything but then again they sat in silence for hours until the lady finally walked out on him. Never knew what it was about but I’ve always guessed that the man did something crappy, like cheat, and was discovered. It was a really sad sight and a crazy situation to witness and I think I felt even more sorry because they were obviously in their 50s or 60s. I hope the woman is in a better place now as she looked rough as fuck that evening.

What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? I wore a lot of hats when I was in my college org, and that was on top of balancing my acads as well.

What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? That scene from Friends where Ross plays the keyboard for Chandler, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel.

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation? It depends on what music they’re into and if I have actually have a recommendation in mind for them. I obviously can’t suggest Paramore to someone who mainly listens to metal.

If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? I’m down for any monuments that are super ancient like Stonehenge or the Pyramids of Giza.

If animals could talk, which animal would be the most annoying? I’d go with frogs, but only because they get annoyingly loud in the evening.

What’s the most addicted to a game you’ve ever been? Playing The Sims, Mario Kart, Rock Band, or games in the Burnout franchise.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? Japan was so fucking cold when I was there. Didn’t do my research and ended up being dressed poorly, and I was so cold I could barely talk to my parents or fully enjoy my time. Sagada was also nearly unbearable in the early morning.

Which protagonist from a book or movie would make the worst roommate? Not from a book or movie, but BoJack Horseman. Diane can also be in the running as I always found her too whiny. I get that she had her personal shit to deal with, but I don’t think living with her would be good for my own sanity and mental health.

Do you eat food that’s past its expiration date if it still smells and looks fine? It annoys my chef dad to death that I don’t lol. No matter how great it looks, I’d bounce. I once ate expired Kit Kats that tasted like cardboard and that scared me off of expired food forever.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? I once bought a stupid novelty soap that to this day I’ve never even opened. It’s in one of my drawers, and I plan to just throw it out at some point.

What’s the funniest comedy skit you’ve seen? Not a fan of these but one that got to me is Dear Sister from SNL.

What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? A few years ago there was a local breakfast place that offered red velvet pancakes for a limited time and I was all over that crap, so I went and ordered. The actual pancakes ended up not being any bigger than my palm, and I remember not being able to hide my disappointment once the server placed the dish on my table haha. I felt so scammed. I had to order something else to feel full, because those pancakes were stupidly small.

What tips or tricks have you picked up from your job/jobs? One of my superiors, when she was presenting a pitch to our director yesterday, kept asking questions and picking at the director’s brain so that she can get suggestions and answers straight from the director herself and so that she didn’t have to do any brainstorming anymore. I thought that was a pretty nifty and clever hack.

What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Hiking a mountain!

What songs hit you with a wave of nostalgia every time you hear them? Umbrella by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z.

What’s the worst backhanded compliment you could give someone? Idk, anything can be the worst depending on the context. I’m not a fan of giving those, though.

What’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched? Unsolved Mysteries’ Dupont de Ligonnès episode was a lot of fun to watch.

What was the last song you sang along to? I think it was Thinking of You by Katy Perry? but I’m not entirely sure. I haven’t sung along to anything in a while.

What app can you not believe someone hasn’t made yet? I don’t really download and use a lot of apps other than the basic ones, so I don’t care too much.

When was the last time you face palmed? Last night.

If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? I’d give it away to the Martial Law museum currently being made near my university so that it can do more to show the atrocities of the Marcoses. And so that I can piss off my pro-Marcos relatives.

Which of your vices or bad habits would be the hardest to give up? Uh hating myself, if that counts.

What really needs to be modernized? Public transportation systems in this country.

#survey #surveys

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selfshipstuff · 4 years

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💡 give me all the fandoms ~Audrey

SBDJSJS ALL OF THEM???? I MEAN I GUESS IF YOU'RE SURE??

@tsundere-doods

ARROWVERSE (The Flash, Arrow, Supergirl)

In all Arrowverse AUs, my SI is a metahuman from Earth-1 with energy-based powers. I primarily exercise control over electricity, movement, and gravity, but with practice I could probably expand my repertoire to include light, heat, elasticity, radioactivity, sound-- all sorts of things. During my time on Teams Flash and Arrow, I go by the moniker Switchboard, and then in my Team Arson AU, Lonnie and Astra (@astralshipper) call me Sparks.

In The Flash, my primary f/o is Cisco Ramon, and we have that best friends to lovers thing going on. I also love Becky Sharpe, although I don’t talk about her much! She’s girlfren, and I’m poly with the two of them in my Flash-centric Arrowverse AU-- she’s not dead, hush, I save her life and canon can eat my entire ass tbh.

I don’t have a romantic f/o on Arrow, but John Diggle is like a brother to me. I don’t have an AU that focuses solely on Team Arrow, because it’s not a primary thing for me, but when I’m on the team, it’s because I’m taking a break from Team Flash.

In my Supergirl-centric AU, instead of joining Team Arrow after leaving Team Flash, I actually use some of Cisco’s tech to hop on over to Earth-38 to make a new life for myself. Eventually, I end up helping out Team Supergirl, because once you start superheroing it’s not really something that has an off switch, and that’s how I meet Winn Schott. He and I click almost immediately and we have a best friends to lovers type thing similar to what Cisco and I had. I also have a small crush on both Lena Luthor and Mon-El, but I haven’t decided if I’m gonna do anything about it yet.

Finally, there’s the Team Arson AU, which isn’t really based on any of the shows in particular, but rather on one of the villains of Arrow: specifically, Lonnie Machin. This AU starts after I leave Team Arrow because of Oliver, John, and Felicity’s actions toward the newer team members; incensed by the hypocrisy of my fellow heroes, I run into Astra (@astralshipper) and Lonnie, who have turned into sort of an anti-hero team, and I join forces with them. This sometimes leads to problems when my ex-teammates come after us, but we handle it.

And last but not least, I actually forgot to mention, but there is an offshoot AU of the Team Arson storyline; it doesn’t have a catchy name, so I just call it the Team Arson and Michael AU, because it’s essentially the same thing as the regular Team Arson one except it incorporates Michael Collins from The Uniques as a new hero. In this AU, I eventually leave Team Arson to form a power-couple duo with Michael and go back to being a hero, mostly.

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER (A:TLA)

Not totally sure what my whole deal is going to be here, but I’m definitely an airbender. I know in canon they’re wiped out, but I’m just saying, there could definitely be a few in hiding; who’s to say all of them were at the air temples when the Fire Nation attacked? The air nomads were a highly mobile people, so yeah, while those were the hubs of activity, I don’t see it being where every single one of them would’ve been.

Anyway, I don’t have a romantic f/o in this series, but the Gaang in general is just a little family I’d like to be a part of. In particular, Aang has little brother vibes, and I’m definitely gonna take him under my wing; I think it would be good for him to have another airbender around, and it would be cool to see how a traditional air nomad would interact with one whose views and values have been shaped by a century of other cultures dominating the world. It’s definitely sad, because cultural loss is a huge part of genocide, but it would be neat to see how the surviving families passed down that culture and mixed it with that of the world around them. Like, it would be a little bit of home for Aang, but also sort of like... a hope for something new, I guess? I dunno, I’m spitballing here

CRIMINAL MINDS

My SI timeline isn't the most well-defined for this one yet, but one thing I've decided on is that I pretty much end up adopting, fostering, and taking in kids that need help. Currently, it's sort of just... been the kids that are victimized during the team's cases, but that's a byproduct of the source material rather than a conscious decision.

In Criminal Minds, I ship with Spencer Reid and Emily Prentiss, who are my boyfriend and girlfriend, respectively; we’re poly, but they’re not dating each other. They are queerplatonic, though! Fun fact, I’ve adopted Hotch and Rossi as my dads; Hotch is the primary father figure, and Rossi was kind of like, uncle vibes? Until I realized how much romantic tension there is between the two of them, and now he’s like, stepdad. Hotch already sees Spencer as a son, and he’s close with Emily, so this works out really well.

EVER AFTER HIGH

In EAH, I’m the eldest child of the White Rabbit-- yes, the one you know from the story of Alice in Wonderland. (Don’t ask how that works, because I don’t know.) Anyway, I was born and raised in Wonderland, along with my younger sister, Bunny. (Yes, her name is Bunny Rabbit.) Things were alright until sometime in my early teens when the Evil Queen tried to basically destroy the world of wonder; it was crazy and chaotic, and very few Wonderland folk managed to escape to Ever After before the Brothers Grimm closed the portals between the two worlds. I was among the handful that escaped: my sister, father, and friends were not. I was all alone in an unfamiliar world, and man, was that scary. Luckily, I was still school-aged, so it was easy enough to get a place to stay at the Grimms’ school-- Ever After High.

I’ve got crushes on Raven Queen, Alistair Wonderland, Dexter Charming, Chase Redford, Northwind, and Cedar Wood, but no established romance.

HARRY POTTER

Okay, so there are a few different timelines and AUs for this franchise. We’ll start with the most established one. Obviously, I’ve got the obligatory AU where I’m there for everything from the very beginning, but there’s also one I thought of back in middle school which goes something like this: I’m newly orphaned, so I’ve been sent to live with a relative in the UK. It’s the year of the Quidditch World Cup, not that I know anything about it, because my parents were Muggles and so is the great-aunt-twice-removed or whomever it is I now live with. I’m out for a walk, trying to clear my head and familiarize myself with the new neighborhood; out the back of the house, there’s a forest in the distance, hills, and marshland which seem suitably spooky and melancholy for my mood, so I head out exploring that way. After a while, I hear noise, like celebration and shouting, so I head over to check it out and stumble across the tent-grounds for the World Cup.

Obviously, it’s a lot to take in at once, because it’s clearly magic-- but I’ve always believed in magic, in a sense. So I just grin and start exploring, getting friendly with the kids my age in the area, lie to the adults when they ask where my parents are (”oh, our tent is over there”) and nobody even thinks twice about my accent because people from all over the world are here for the event. Of course, I’m only 15, and eventually I run into one of the people who actually coordinates the grounds, so I’m found out fairly easily; cut to me being interrogated and scared half to death by the magical authorities before who else but Dumbledore swoops in and quietly talks to them. It’s a lot, and it’s too quiet for me to hear all of it, but I manage to take away something about me obviously being magic if I found the place-- and then suddenly, this old man is offering his hand and escorting me out, telling me about a whole other world I didn’t know I could be a part of.

I do go to Hogwarts, and I have to do a LOT of remedial studying to catch up to the other students, but it helps that I love to read about magic and studying over the summer isn’t a problem.

In some AUs, I’m poly with Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley; in others, I’m with Fred and George Weasley. Sirius Black ends up taking me under his wing along with Harry, and he doesn’t die in my canon-- neither does Fred, Remus Lupin, or Tonks.

I also have a pretty big crush on Newt Scamander from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, but I haven’t got my AU timeline figured out for him yet.

MCU

Agents of SHIELD: This show is a separate AU from my other Marvel stories, but I have the same energy powers as usual. Basically, I’m an Inhuman on SHIELD’s watchlist for a long time, even before they know what Inhumans are; unlike some of the other individuals on the list, I’m friendly, cooperative. I consult on cases from time to time, mostly as needed until Phil Coulson starts putting together his dream team: that’s when he reaches out to me, asks me to be a permanent consultant to his team. I’m sort of hesitant, because permanence is restrictive when it comes to organizations like his, but I agree on my own terms. I find myself fitting in and warming up to the team more than I thought I would, and I even find myself crushing on Fitz and-- to a lesser extent-- Skye. When she gets her powers, it’s frickin’ neat as hell, but I end up fighting with the team for treating her so poorly afterward.

Spider-Man (Tom Holland): Originally, I’m not even in New York, but rent in our area is going up, and the frequency with which certain areas in NY get destroyed leads to their rent actually being more appealing in an attempt to get people to move back. So, with everything going on, my family weighs their options and we move. It’s the end of summer when we get there, and it’s a different school district, so they make me take all sorts of tests to see where I’ll best fit in-- eventually, they put me into some prestigious school my parents are thrilled about and which I’ve never heard of. Of course, I’m much more thrilled after the first week or so: the classes are more engaging, and the students seem to know their stuff. Other than the classist rich kids, it’s paradise for nerds! And that’s before I develop a crush on a classmate (Peter Parker) and start paying attention to news about a local superhero. Around this time is when my powers start to show themselves; sparks fly, literally, and I find myself getting done with things faster than anyone else. It all comes to a head when, on my way home from school, someone falls from the upper floor of a building and I somehow manage to slow their fall so they land safely. Thoroughly freaked out, I start experimenting with my powers, seeing what I can do-- eventually, I put together my own suit and start helping out the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. (We end up dating out of costume.)

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG

So, in the ML universe, I’m an American exchange student in Paris, and I end up figuring out the identities of the local heroes fairly quickly, which leads me to help out in the crises a lot more. After a while of this, Master Fu decides to gift me with the Mouse Miraculous, which has a different power than in canon, because I developed this before the debut of Kwami Buster and honestly I kind of think Multimouse has a stupid power? Anyway, as Souris Gris, I have the power of stealth. I realize pretty quickly that my accent is gonna be an easy identifier, so I take up Langue des Signes (French Sign Language, or LSF) to use while transformed-- as a bonus, it adds to the stealth thing. Meanwhile, as my civilian self, I’m still adjusting to using conversational and situational French 24/7.

Adrien Agreste (also known as Chat Noir) is my primary f/o from this, but there’s also an AU where we’re poly with Marinette Dupain-Cheng (also known as Ladybug), who we’re both dating.

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB (OHSHC)

Okay, in the past with this one I’ve 100% focused on the romance, so I’m gonna make something up on the spot. I still would’ve been born to a lower middle-class family in Midwestern America-- flyover country-- but at some point in my youth, a family member wins the lottery-- literally, and not just as a figure of speech. It’s a big one, and instead of spending it, they invest; as I grow up, things start to look up for us. I’m a creative kid, and I’m bugging my parents to let me design and make my own books, games, and toys. Eventually, they cave, and that’s the story of how I become a “self-made” millionaire.

At first, the products only really sell in North America, until a knock-off line comes out in Japan, and we release them there to curb the competition. The sales skyrocket in the Japanese isles and surrounding countries, so sometime in my preteens, my family moves to Japan to better oversee the majority of the business. After a lot of private tutoring and language classes, I beg my parents to let me go to a real school. Now, my parents, who are quickly becoming the snooty rich folks they used to curse, take some convincing, but we finally agree as long as they choose the school, which is how I end up enrolled at Ouran Academy.

I eventually find myself meeting the host club and befriending them, which... also leads to me dating Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, the notorious twins. We’re all lowkey crushing on Haruhi, but none of us do anything about it.

THE UNIQUES

I still haven’t decided how I end up on the team to begin with, but I do know that my powers are pretty much the same in The Uniques as they are in the Arrowverse. (This is mostly because that’s my default when it comes to superpowers. Energy powers are frickin’ neat, okay?) Again, they primarily cover electricity, movement, and gravity, but in this universe I also have a little more experience bending light and manipulating heat.

One of my f/os from this is also mentioned in the Arrowverse section because of an AU, and that’s Michael Collins. He and Scout are my boyfriends, and they’re best buds. The rest of the team (the New Guard) are our best friends, so they’re platonic f/os.

WALKYVERSE (It’s Walky!, Shortpacked!)

Technically, the Walkyverse also includes Roomies!, which comes before It’s Walky! sequentially, but I don’t even really think about that part of the comic tbh. Basically, I’m an alien abductee, so I have powers-- neat!-- and I’m an agent of SEMME-- less neat. We’re a secret government agency fighting a hostile race of aliens known only as “aliens”, which I guess are separate from other extraterrestrial races because Martians are specified as a separate race within the comic...? Anyway. I’m a SEMME agent, and I have enhanced abilities like super-strength due to my status as an abductee. Originally, I was a part of a different squad, but a mission went south, leaving me as the only surviving member.

By the time the retrieval unit showed up, most of my teammates were already dead, and I was just barely holding up a fallen building which would have crushed me had I let go. Upon my return to SEMME HQ, I was asked to wait outside an office for a moment while the Big Boss and some poor agent tasked with debriefing him duked it out behind the closed doors. There were whispers about me, being the sole survivor of my unit and having held up a building, and people had their suspicions, but it didn’t matter. The fact was that I was the only agent that had made it through a suicide mission, which is a feat in and of itself, disregarding the valuable intel I had gathered; Big Boss eventually reassigned me to Squad 128, the most infamously effective team on payroll, and sent me off to get checked out by medical.

My main f/o in Walkyverse is Mike Warner, a fellow SEMME agent and abductee. I’m also FWB with the titular character before he gets married-- David Walkerton (Walky)-- and Marcie.

#mine #si: why are you me? i'm me #self insert writing #selfship writing #self ship writing #yes im putting these in the tags and yall can suffer thru it with NO read more

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yourfanvivitran · 4 years

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It should come as no surprise that John Carpenter and Dan O’Bannon were students in the same film class, that they created Dark Star together, and that they both had a great affinity for 1951’s The Thing From Another World. If you put Ridley Scott’s Alien, which O’Bannon wrote, next to Carpenter’s The Thing, the parallels cannot be contended. A group of people, bound together almost exclusively by their careers, are isolated and trapped in their own environment with a murderous monster. One by one, they are picked off by this alien beast and are forced to pull out all the stops just to survive. The tension in both movies is suffocating. The suspense stays well after the credits roll.

So, why did Alien excel and why did The Thing fail?

Alien was heralded as a science fiction-horror masterpiece, raking in over $200 million at the box office. The Thing, although now recognized as one of Carpenter’s best films to rival even the likes of Halloween, barely exceeded its $15 million budget by $4 million. What’s more is that critics panned The Thing almost unanimously after its 1982 release. And to what point?

When you compare the 2 movies, it objectively doesn’t make much sense. When you sit down and watch The Thing, without even thinking of its much more popular predecessor, it still doesn’t quite add up. There is not much I can say about The Thing that hasn’t already been said before. It’s well-known, now - the writing, the acting, the practical effects, the cinematography? Masterfully done. No arguments. So what went wrong?

The most popularly accepted explanation was that it just wasn’t the right year for it. In 1982, The Thing had to contend with the Summer of Spielberg, being critiqued alongside horror giant Poltergeist and science fiction treasure E.T. How could a stark and grim story of distrust and gore stand alongside such beloved classics?

But in tandem with these films and also calling back to the success of Alien, Carpenter cites reception from various focus groups: they hated the ending.

It should be assumed at this point that if you have not yet seen The Thing, you are sorely missing out. All the same, however, be wary of spoilers.

The end of The Thing is bitter, to put it lightly. Childs (Keith David) trudges through Antarctic snow, lit by the burning wreckage of Outpost 31, towards R.J. MacReady (Kurt Russel) who sits alone, already half buried. They observe their inevitable deaths, and drink to the supposed demise of their shapeshifting predator.

A lot is left out to die in the snow.

According to Carpenter, this ending was seen by test audiences as too dismal. And rightfully so, when you take into consideration the other popular releases of 1982. Carol Anne is ultimately saved, along with the rest of her family, at the end of Poltergeist. Elliot embraces E.T. before he finally returns home. And going further back, even Ripley is able to escape the xenomorph by the skin of her teeth and secure herself the title as one of the greatest “Final Girls” ever put to the silver screen.

And what of MacReady and Childs?

Well, that’s up to your imagination, Carpenter told a test audience member who asked who the final host was at the end of the movie.

“Oh, god. I hate that,” they responded.

As a writer, this loose ends style of concluding a story is almost expected from a lot of modern works. It’s written this way in order to haunt the reader, to linger and adhere itself to the real world in the most sardonic of ways. Think Joyce Carol Oates’s “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” or Flannery O’Connor’s “A Good Man Is Hard to Find.” This almost anticlimactic close of the curtain arrived in the literary world long before it found its place in film, but it’s a big point of contention in mainstream criticism.

Dark or incomplete conclusions have been met with the most scathing of responses. Beware the black cutaway of Sopranos fame. Or the near-universal outcry against the third Mass Effect game that grew so much, the developers created a morsel of DLC content that maybe kind of confirmed a more optimistic fate for our dear Shepard.

But even for the horror genre, The Thing seemed unprecedented. The only fate darker to fall upon a mainstream protagonist was Ben’s untimely death in Night of the Living Dead. The tragedy of both movies is palpable - all this trouble to survive against inhuman killers, all this trouble to outlive something gruesome and maybe even make the world a better place, and what was left to show for it?

In short, Carpenter’s science fiction terror was too much of a bummer.

I personally did not take much of a liking to horror until much later in life. My parents didn’t filter the media I consumed as much as they probably should have, and I was scarred early on by movies as cheesy and entertaining as The Lost Boys and Blade. It wasn’t until late adolescence and into college that I set out to catch up.

My roommate at the time of this resolution had been a fan of horror her whole life, her favorites being Halloween, Candyman, and The Thing. Having already known a good deal about the former two, I decided to strap in for The Thing for the first time ever.

These days, I always have several soap boxes on retainer, just waiting for the next unwitting recipient of my usually-beer-induced rants. Brian Jones was killed, Jaws single handedly endangered sharks, banning books is a stupid practice, representation in media is important, etc. Predictably, one of these soap boxes is the general lack of appreciation of The Thing, both at the time of its release and today (it does not even make the top 100 on Rotten Tomatoes’s highest rated horror movies).

And yet, at the same time, if The Thing had achieved the credit it deserved upon release, I may not like it as much as I do today.

I make a point to not read too much about movies I am feverishly anticipating, and revel in the feeling of going into a well-known movie knowing as little as possible. Most of the time, it makes for the best viewing experience, but I’m sure I don’t even have to point this out.

This was my experience seeing The Thing for the first time. I was on winter break, staying at my parents’ house for the holidays. Everyone else had gone to bed, and I stayed up late in the living room, curled up under layers of blankets, content in perfect darkness save for the television.

I had no idea what to expect, as I had not been spoiled by any TV show making any blatant references and had not done any prior reading into the film itself. And I was absolutely delighted from beginning to end.

What stays with me the most is the special effects. It’s true what they say - that practical effects hold up better than CGI alone. And the production team didn’t cut any corners in this department. Stan Winston and his team, who were later responsible for the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, helped construct one of the best animatronics in the movie. Rob Bottin, who brought this constantly-morphing creature to life from conception to every last slimy detail, went on to be hailed as a genius in his special effects career. And there is definitely something to be said for the work of cinematographer Dean Cundey whose masterful control of lighting and framing is best seen in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

The extent of my knowledge of the titular creature was that it was an alien. That it was an alien who could consume multiple life forms and take on their shapes was both exciting and terrifying. There’s creative genius in this premise that thrills the science fiction lover in me, and also fascinates the bookworm in me. I had been a fan of Agatha Christie novels as a teenager, and to see a new and outrageous take on the And Then There Were None structure was incredibly novel to me.

The appeal wasn’t just that there was something out there, lying in wait to torturously pick off it’s victims one-by-one. It was that it could have been anyone.

At its core, horror as we know it has deep roots in whodunnit style murder mystery. With the rise of the giallo and the sensation of the slasher, horror movies of this nature are far from uncommon and can be seen as late as 1996 with the Scream franchise. Carpenter himself spurned a new kind of fear with his breakout success with Halloween by refusing to give a bodily face to its main antagonist. Here, with The Thing, he takes the eponymous killer character to the next level by giving it the genetically inherent function of deceiving its prey. Not knowing the true face of your murderer has proven to be inherently bone-chilling.

Even now, hundreds of horror movies under my belt later and still constantly learning, I keep coming back to The Thing. I really cannot think of another movie in my wide array of favorites that I love more than The Thing, and I truly believe it has everything to do with me not knowing anything about it upon my first viewing. Every other movie I can name on my (similar to the subject) constantly changing top 10 list of most beloved horror flicks was, at some point, spoiled for me in some capacity.

Think of how often the twins in The Shining are referenced in cartoons, of all the head spinning jokes made in reference to The Exorcist. Anthony Hopkins’s portrayal of Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs has become so infamous, that I knew his dialogue (and Buffalo Bill’s) long before I ever saw the movie in full.

I don’t blame these references for ruining these movies. As a super fan, I understand that compulsion to pay tribute. It’s no one’s fault and to their credit that these films take lives of their own. But the repercussions don’t age well in terms of initial viewing experiences.

All that being said, I truly cherish how much I was not exposed to this movie. The unpredictability of the creature and the quiet, looming despair that comes with it create a horror unlike any other.

Although it was a box office flop, The Thing is now a welcome and praised name in both science fiction and horror. Even Quentin Tarantino made it known that The Hateful Eight was primarily inspired on several fronts by Carpenter’s underrated work. However, it has not pervaded pop culture like so many other horror classics have left their indelible mark on film vernacular. And to that end, I hope it remains in that slight shadow of anonymity for all future enthusiasts.

#john carpenter #the thing #alien #horror #horror movie #horror film #horror genre

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