#and also knowing that the only person who can truly understand the full extent of the change in you is each other | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkpandapatrixk · 1 year

Text

🥧The Love You Spiritually Deserve ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?’

‘Well…

We accept the love we think we deserve.’

‘Can we make them know that they deserve more?’

‘We can try.’

– Charlie asking his teacher in The Perks of Being a Wallflower

SONG for all piles: Coming Home by NCT U

MOVIE for all piles: My Week with Marilyn (2011)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

There is a very special behind-the-scene for this PAC on Patreon. If you’re already subscribed, don’t forget to check the full post ^o^v

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – A Love that Helps You Remember How Precious of a Darling You Are

VIBE: Promise by Jimin

to be in Love with the right person – 2 of Wands

The moment your sweet, sweet Heart recognises the person who’s right for you, baby, it’s all calm sunshine in your world🌤This person has a most peculiar ability to bring back nostalgic senses and memories of what you used to enjoy as a child. These are your Heart’s most honest desires that you might’ve suppressed or avoided to some extent, in exchange for being practical. You live in a world that’s given you reasons to abandon your own dreams in order to become practical and a responsible member of society. In many ways, I see you’ve tried to fit in and follow the expectations of a normal society.

But when you come in touch with the essence of this person who’s just right for you, everything changes. Suddenly, the scales blinding your eyes fall off and now you see the real colours of the world—your world. Literally this person brought your world back from the dead. Something about them rejuvenates your faith in the world you’re innately able to create for yourself. And just like that, you gradually move towards changing small aspects of your everyday Life to manifest a world of your dreams~🌷

You may return to old hobbies—perhaps resume your old piano lessons; you open up your dusty rice cooker recipe books (LOL) and start cooking again; you start singing again or you may finally join that ballet class you’ve always wanted to do when you were a child, irrespective of your age now. This person who’s just the right person for you is truly an angelic Human whose essence brings back peace of mind, Love (first and foremost for yourself), serenity, clarity, and most importantly, a hunger for Life and its endless possibilities🎋

the spiritual Home in your heart – 4 of Cups

I sense that your Soul is incredibly sensitive. You’ve probably come from other realms where the inhabitants are peaceful, and I feel strongly that you’ve often been gardeners and carers of animals in those other lives heheh You’re so spiritually in tune with the moods and sorrows of not only the people around you but also the world in general. You’re the type of person who sees a world that needs healing. You see a world needing more kindness, alas, your Kindness was taken advantage of and spat on. Then you decided to hide away and avoid people as much as possible.

Do you feel like you enjoy the company of animals, plants, and rocks more than Humans? Yeah, you can sense the spirit of non-Human creatures and you find non-Humans to be the gentlest, most understanding creatures. I think you should like to watch Studio Ghibli’s My Neighbour Totoro🐼I personally think you’re the type that would find comfort in a lot of Miyazaki Hayao’s movies because they depict the innocence of children and how they see the world with an eye for adventure. As flawed as they can be, characters in Miyazaki’s movies are understandably human and you desperately want to believe in a world that’s more forgiving like that.

Due to the nature of your emotions, you’ve often had these ebbs and flows of faith in your ability to manifest a world of kindness and gentleness that you’ve always envisioned for yourself. It’s like a painful tug o’ war between your faith in yourself and the world’s pressure for you to conform. But trust me, anybody who makes you question your values, dreams, visions, missions, and goals, are not your people. The right person(s) for you is someone whose heart is so kind and wide that in their embrace you are reminded of everything good that you deserve to see manifest in your own Universe.

up your Self-Love game! – 9 of Pentacles Rx

Ooh, I know you can’t stop admiring this person’s remarkably gorgeous smile~ But do you have any semblance of an idea why your Soul finds them so irresistibly attractive? Your person who lights up your dark horizon is a freaking multitalented King or Queen whose thirst for Life inspires a hidden courage buried deep within your psyche. When you look at them or hear their stories, you can’t help but notice that this is also a flawed human who’s beautifully aware of their own failings and shortcomings, but they work really hard at becoming a nobler version of themselves. A more astonishing expression of what’s truly good about them as a human being, in spite of everything.

Whereas you’ve tried to build an independent Life away from most Humans, this person helps you see that there is still good in trying to believe in Humanity. That there is still hope because after all the world is so big and there are many people in it. I have a feeling your person is able to hold such a positive outlook because they’ve been blessed enough with good company, maybe good family, too. So they naturally have this ability to balance the way they perceive bad people in the world.

I think their people are going to be your people as well. Their friends and family are going to admire you so much and be grateful that you’ve appeared in the Life of your person and even theirs. They are glad you’ve found each other, like they really think you’re good for each other as you’re able to hold Light for each other. You literally heal each other. Your person’s people, too, are going to see you for all the good that you are. A union with this person and their friends and family is going to remind you what a precious and talented darling you really are🧸

COMING HOME TO YOURSELF🔻🧡

remembering your innate goodness – Red Magus (Edward Kelly)

loving yourself as an act of rebellion – Priestess of Prosperity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – A Love that Honours Your Innocent Rose-Tinted Glasses

VIBE: OMG by NewJeans

to be in Love with the right person – Knight of Cups

When your gentle Heart rests in the embrace of the person who’s right for you, you will know, this is a Soulmate. There’s no other explanation. You feel a strong sense of nostalgia, as if having known this person in another dimension. And when you recognise each other, it feels like, ‘Oh hey! I know you! Hmm…’ and your conversation flows so naturally as if catching up with an old, old soul friend~

Being with this person, you want to cuddle all the time. But not the oddly lustful or desperately clingy type. No, no, baby, this is pure, innocent, childlike Love. When your heart is attracted to the person whose Soul resembles your own, it’s pure bliss, comfort, safety. I think you’ll want to have a home with this person. You’ll want to build a home with them that reminds you both of the Home World your Souls came from. It’ll be a lot of fun! Because the person who’s just right for you also has the same fairy-like mind, sense and perception as you.

And holy cow you know what that means—this is someone who’s just as sensitive and considerate as you. They will really honour your rose-tinted glasses and not make you feel infantilised for the innocence you’ve worked hard to maintain. This is someone sweet, gentle, soft-spoken, incredibly polite accompanied by an out-of-place sense of humour, and a little awkward from time to time… depending on situation, I guess🦄

To be in love with the right person… you finally feel truly, genuinely seen for the first time. It feels cosy to not have to explain yourself exhaustively with words that often fail your true meaning🦦

the spiritual Home in your heart – Page of Wands Rx

Unlike most people, you’re not super ambitious or even industrious about most things. Others may perceive you as ‘lazy’ but the truth is you’re an Old Soul that remembers a time when human beings were able to live at a more comfortable pace. You can’t really bring yourself to fit in this new pace—the modern pace—because you think it’s silly that people rush to their graveyards without even stopping to smell the roses. And you want to smell those roses, all the time, you want to always be aware of all the roses and jasmines and lilies.

You can’t think of another way of living your Life. You’re quite stubborn about it because you believe in your own mindset. You’re actually a lot stronger than you may think. If there’s one thing you’re ambitious about, it is to maintain a world of your own aesthetic. I think you’re someone who’s deep down super aware of your birth right to live in a world of beauty. Sometimes you get confused about this whole endeavour because you feel like an alien in this strange world. But one way or another, you hold on to your own values and I think that’s super admirable.

Some of you who are younger may struggle a little bit with boundaries because you’re too kind. You’re really soft, gentle, compassionate and have an ability to welcome anybody who’s tired and weary. But often, people who are hurting and confused about their own place in the world could turn super spiteful towards those who are working on their own dream lives that do not agree with the convention. You really need to be careful with those whose envy has the potential to seep into your morphogenetic field and ruin your manifestations!

You can be super kind and still say no to those whose presence could jeopardise your peace of mind, OK? Also, I think you’ll really find respite in this beautiful playlist on YT, ‘Nakamura Yuriko Songs I Love’, when you feel a bit weary of people~

up your Self-Love game! – 6 of Cups Rx

So first of all, your generosity has a tendency of making you reminisce about the past. You sometimes miss the people who used to be there for you. This could be friends or family members. For some of you, this could even be a past significant other. You have a habit of romanticising pleasant memories you had with people whom you used to care about. This could lead you to a dangerous path of self-sabotage. You may want to sometimes text or call people who genuinely aren’t even deserving of your kindness, gentleness, or care.

To protect yourself, have the courage to completely and utterly burn the bridges to those you know are only acting as parasites in your Life. The way I see it, there really aren’t that many people who can fully understand and accept you the way your Soul Family does. So wait for them and make space for only them. And so, to make space for them, you need to vacant those who don’t belong! Blood is thicker than water? Bullshit. Soul is stronger than blood!

My advice to you is to get a pet instead so you have a company upon whom you can pour your nurture. I know you are somebody who likes to nurture and care for another being. So, this is the best course of action if you haven’t met anybody from your Soul Group🥰If not a pet, a plant works, too. Depends on what you like, really. All in all, know that you are deserving of good company that truly honours your kindness and wouldn’t take advantage of that softness.

COMING HOME TO YOURSELF🔻💗

remembering your innate goodness – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)

loving yourself as an act of rebellion – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – A Love that’s Grateful for the Fact You Were Born At All

VIBE: Kazamidori (Weather Vane) by Sakamoto Maaya

to be in Love with the right person – XI Justice Rx

Okay, you’re totally an Old Soul with an important mission, babe. I’m pretty sure you already know this. If you aren’t that aware of it yet, I’m still sure you’ve always had this feeling like you were born for a greater purpose. Like, no matter what, you just know somebody sent you here to do something amazing… but what exactly? Dunno. You’re just haunted by this feeling of having your time on Earth… timed. ‘I’ve got to hurry!’ So you scurry.

I think you’ve felt incredibly lonely for the most part of your Life on Earth. You’re an alien—actually, you’re an astronaut. Deep inside your psyche, you’ve always had this debilitating realisation of having been torn apart from your real Family. You know that your family on Earth is not your real Family. You don’t even look like them, you feel. All your wants and even value system as a person, not a single thing matches theirs. You’ve always dreamt of travelling the world over to search for your people. Doesn’t matter where; they must be somewhere. Just not anywhere near here.

Of all the piles, yours talks the most about having gone through a massive spiritual purging. At some point in Life you have or will experience this. Like a phoenix dying to itself and be reborn out of its own ashes transforming into something greater than all it’s ever been in the past. When you finally accept your magic—that you’re magic—you realise that you’ve always needed to be your own first love. The day you have/had this epiphany and come to love yourself absolutely fully is/was the day you realise that everything in the world will always be alright so long as you believe in yourself🐾

the spiritual Home in your heart – King of Cups Rx

I think you’re someone who easily falls in love with attractive people, passionate people, kindhearted people, dazzling people, generous people, talented people, and all that stuff. But… that’s all really child’s play. Puppy love, if you wanna be cute. Summer crushes, if you’re casual as fuck. But the truth is, deep, deep, deep, fucking deep somewhere in the most secret corner of your Heart, there is an essence of someone whom you’re meant to reunite with in this incarnation. Damn, you made a promise, OK? That you wouldn’t ever be, EVER, serious with anybody who’s not this person💍

Dang, the day you were born into this world, you were already married🤪You had been proposed to in the spirit realm🎎It simply wouldn’t work if it’s not your person😗And for that, I hope you honour this Love that you’re carrying in your Heart and work on your spiritual development or something, until Destiny (that tricky bitch) unites you both in the physical realm. Babe! It’s worth the wait! This is the ONLY Human on Earth who knows how to embrace all of you with all of the Love you’re so spiritually deserving🥺

A small percentage of you choosing this pile, I feel quite strongly, could decide to become a monk, nun, or any other type of a celibate person who has no business being in a romantic relationship or a sexual union with another living being. This deep Love that you carry around in your Heart is all that fuels you until the day you depart from this world. You’re deeply aware of how short a Human’s existence is and you’re looking forward ever so to the day you breathe your last breath and return to your One & Only who’s always been watching over you from the Higher Realms🎐

up your Self-Love game! – 7 of Wands Rx

With all of the above said, whichever group you resonate with, all of you choosing this pile are, again, haunted by the same feeling of needing to save the world. In a manner of speaking, because you’re an astronaut, it’s true you came here for an important Soul Mission, and for that you could ruminate too much about ways you can develop yourself to ready yourself for the world stage when the time is right. But that’s actually counterintuitive and could make your whole Earth experience miserable.

I know you find it immensely difficult to be Human… even just operating with a Human flesh bag is painful enough. Some of you may even have a chronic illness that’s constantly giving you bodily aches or that you find controlling your movements quite challenging. Perhaps issues with developmental disabilities, reduced/low dexterity, immune system diseases, dyslexia, ADHD, autism (varying spectrum), gender dysphoria, and all sorts of compatibility issues that could make Life on Earth quite unbearable to some.

Compatibility issues here means that your Soul can’t quite adapt to your Earthly body because you’re too advanced or that your Soul originates from a much purer state of being that the tragic density of this dirty Human World causes immense pressure on your whole mental and physical being. And for that, you could struggle a lot with constantly wanting to leave soon. As a way to numb yourself, you could fall into a tendency of wanting to always, constantly, tirelessly, unceasingly working on something, on yourself, as if scurrying for ways to die sooner.

But… babe… you have a place in this world. Slow down a little, allow yourself to breathe, and let the Spirit of the Planet speak its thanks and admiration for all you’ve done for Her.

COMING HOME TO YOURSELF🔻💚

remembering your innate goodness – Gold Physician (Hippocrates)

loving yourself as an act of rebellion – Priestess of Clarity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

901 notes · View notes

4dkellysworld · 3 months

Text

It is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself

I was discussing stuff with AI 4dbarbie and this profound scene from The Matrix came to mind so I watched the clip on youtube.

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. Neo: What truth? Spoon boy: There is no spoon. Neo: There is no spoon? Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

There were some amazing comments under that video that I think are gold and good food for thought (or even to meditate on) - I saved them and wanted to share. I know this is also a materialization-themed post* but I'm more wanting to point out the concept of limitations that we've had ingrained/may deeply believe but for Self, there are no limitations in this world of illusion, it is just like The Matrix. And this explains why materialization of anything is possible for the realized being (or one who truly understands this principle) because they have dropped all concepts (including ideas of limitations), understand that there is no "reality" as we know it, and that it's all just a reflection of our mind. That's why even in loa*, they say not to try change the physical or even focus on it because "it is not the spoon that bends" (it is not about the physical) but you (and your mind) - when you change your mind, the projection/reflection changes. And that's why there are no limits and nothing is impossible for the one who truly realizes all this because all limitations are only self-imposed through one's own thoughts and beliefs! And we always have a choice to think/believe/know something differently, it's just that it can be hard to allow ourselves to do this due to past conditioning which we falsely believe (which we can drop when we want!) - so we try to rationalize why it's not possible or real and thereby basically shoot ourselves in the foot and become a self-fulfilling prophecy for why it isn't possible or real, because we thought so lol. *disclaimer: I am not a loa/materialization blog, please don't ask me about manifesting/materialization of desires :D Besides, all answers should already be available from 4dbarbie and realisophie's past posts and asks if you want to look for them.

Some comments that I enjoyed a lot are below. I think they had a good grasp but I recognized even they do not understand the full extent of there being no limitations (the person who wrote the reality bending comment then later wrote that this concept was exaggerated for action and entertainment purposes hah). Truly I feel so blessed to have learned all that I have since discovering 4dbarbie, non-duality and my Self.

The boy was trying to iterate to Neo that by maintaining awareness of the fact that You're in the Matrix and that all physical things that "exist" within said Matrix don't actually "exist", the ability to "bend" the rules becomes apparent and achievable

To understand this scene you simply need to replace the word spoon with reality. "Don't try to bend reality, that's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth. What truth? There is no reality. Then you will see that it's not reality that bends, it is only yourself."

In truth, all appearances are just one's own ideas, which have been thought up by "the spirit" itself, like reflections in a mirror

The whole thing is about getting out ahead of a thing and creating the thing that you want. Looking at something as it is, it will leave it as it is. But getting out ahead of it means he wanted something different: he wanted to see a bent spoon. Before he could get that, he (in his mind) saw the spoon as bent then so strongly, believed that the spoon could bend, that he changed the matrix (or the matrix changed for him). This is an exact mirror to our lives. Whatever you want in your life, see it, visualize it**, believe it so strongly, and watch the path to that desire appear. The beauty in this scene the kid did it right before, helping him to believe faster or deeper. But we have mentors and tons of people doing great things we by now should know the impossible is actually possible.

(in response to above comment) Exactly right. It's really hard to get behind the conditioning that we have learned from early on in our lives and so it was for Neo.

Matrix World Rule: If you believe it's real then that's your reality. If you don't believe it's real then you can change the reality of matrix. Ultimately there is nothing there except your perception.

There isn’t a spoon, the line in the movie is the core of the deepest truths of life. There isn’t a you, and when we realize that the human form and life experience we have everyday is just imagined, then you have awakened and overcome the illusion and can “move mountains” (i.e. do the "impossible").

**I want to add that it's not necessary to visualize or even imagine in order to materialize, a single thought of knowing it to be so or accepting it as absolute fact (in loa terms) is enough if you are free of limitations, otherwise techniques/methods can help you get to this knowing.

#still on break but wanted to share this spontaneous post. i'll get to your questions when i'm fully back #writings #highlights: purple for 'action' points - pink for other highlights - blue for core points - red for important points

141 notes · View notes

wataksampingan · 2 months

Text

Very long Chapter 96 feelings/thoughts below cut coz I saved my hard-earned Naver cookies for this and I'm going to react while it's fresh dammit.

Spoilers in every possible way, as always.

Oh my God its their first official date and of course it doesn't go Theo's way at all coz he's fighting a lost cause against an author with a sense of humour I share. Thank God his people love him

Nearly 100 chapters later and only now do we start steering towards Therdeo "My angel" Lapileon from the prologue (which I still find it difficult to fathom; the road is long and arduous from Therdeo 'Face as Red as My Eyes' Lapileon we see right now)

I have yet to translate the dialogue properly, but that last panel of him honestly unnerves me (and judging from Google Translated comments in Korean, I'm not the only one.) I'm not really one for the kind of ML who is madly obsessive over their love interest to extremely difficult extents coz I'm too old and cynical to see this as a good thing in a relationship, fictional or otherwise (This is purely a personal preference; no judgement if that's your jam and jelly)

But the thing is that it makes sense. Of course Theo would get dangerous over the first woman he's fallen in love with. Of course he'd do anything to keep her now that, yknow, she's actually made her feelings known. After 90+ chapters of angsting, literally watching her die a few times in front of him, holding such huge feelings of guilt for what his blood has done to her, quietly despairing over keeping anyone close to him coz he's a Lapileon and they succumb so often to death -- this overwhelming fear of losing her is understandable. The idea of her leaving now must be intolerable, like "not after every damn thing I've been through. Everything we have been through. Over my cold dead body".

...I've had the thought quite a few times that seungu succeeded in convincing me that Theo is scary, and this chapter - while also very sweet - is really laying that fact out again in no uncertain terms: Therdeo Lapileon really shouldn't be messed with.

The thing is, meta-wise, there is no end to cold, stern dukes of the frozen North with fearsome reputations, black/dark hair and red/dark eyes - it's one of the most longstanding fantasy romance tropes in manhwa after all. Throw a stone and you'll hit a milord with a chest so wide you can fit a full dresser sideways between his shoulders and a face so stony Medusa is taking notes. And of course, his grace is going to have the reputation of Ultimate Warrior and Sovereign of His Land, Tamer of the Terrain, Reviver of the Barren Soil Now Made Fertile under His Leadership, because only such a powerful man with a heart of ice and terror would have the wherewithal to bend the unyielding north to his will. He isn't emperor/king simply because of circumstances (TM), character and/or choice.

To name just a few: Prince (...kinda? Sorta? Its a long story) Killian from Like Wind on a Dry Branch, Hades from I Married the Main Lead's Dad, Riftan from Under the Oak Tree, Kandel from I Thought My Time Was Up, Milian from Karina's Last Days; heck, even the other Killian from Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story is about to inherit a territory that isn't so great but which he will no doubt develop into a thriving land coz he's Capable that way. If you remove the hair and eye colour conditions, there are even more examples. 99% of them are said to strike fear into the hearts of men just by being mentioned in a room.

...ngl, putting my gigantic bias aside, Theo truly is among my top three scariest ML. Not even Killian (Rieta's) gives me pause the way Theo does, and I have immense respect and admiration for the way Like Wind on A Dry Branch is told (and translated). I know Killian is a powerful man; I feel Theo is threatening. (Brief aside here to acknowledge that Killian has game for days, while Theo is....... look, he's trying.)

Take this opinion with many grains of salt, but few MLs that I've seen so far (and admittedly my repertoire is probably very limited compared to others) has come close to the time Theo plain snapped during Celphi's bullying arc, and when he nearly decapitated a wholeass princess in front of the entire court because she killed his wife (again. And yes, justifiable but still, in front of the EMPEROR HIMSELF.)

Also, the man looked like THIS when the servant who poisoned her begged him to "go back to the princess":

I say this with all love: Theo is not a balanced individual.

We already know this is a world where medieval torture is par for the course, but so far it's been reserved for Gen, who tortured and experimented on a child, and this dude who's been an accessory to Dodolea's crimes since the beginning. Theo does not give a single fuck about trivial things like consequences when it comes to Celphi and Perry's wellbeing. The world will burn if it must, just so he can find out who hurt them.

I said before that Saoirse is a true Lapileon, and Theo was the softest hearted of the siblings. I still maintain it's true, but with the addendum that Theo isn't far off in ruthlessness. You just need to make the mistake of hurting his wife or his son.

Granted, the obsession is only a problem if he restricts Perry just because she's "His". And she's proven a few times that she will Do Shit She Wants regardless of the Lapileons, Princess Dodolea or even herself (god, the way she second guessed herself so hard, only to bust back into the room with those shackles and physically FIGHT MIA OFF in ch 92 - Phineas owes her impulsiveness his life literally). I don't think the story can logically progress that way unless Perry has some sort of personality transplant. And I trust seungu too much for that. The fear is in more what he'll do behind her back (please don't Theo, we've been through this, you know what happened the last time you did things without telling her first - and even if other things went well (like suppressing ugly false stories in publications) that doesn't guarantee you're doing the right thing by not keeping her informed, you walnut.

...yes I know she also has the same bad habit of Not Telling You Her Business but she's LEARNING. I think.)

...also, tbf, Theo doesn't need his obsession to make him a danger to his own love life. Romance or not, he's still Socially Awkward and Fucked Up so lord only knows how many awkward mistakes he's going to make trying to actively court his wife 🥲

Then again, it's not like she's any better considering her last serious relationship was so awful, she literally died and went back in time. I'm not surprised, and in fact quite glad, it took her this long to admit to her finer feelings. However, now this is slightly uncharted territory, and this woman bottles up her feelings and lies to herself just about as much as Theo does. (Why are you so bothered Mia spent so much time around him? Why are you so upset that you can't do more to help him? Why are you so worried whenever he's seemingly avoiding you? Why do you look away each time he gives you puppy dog eyes, Pereshati? HMMM? WHY INDEED)

And now they have to return to the capital with all these revelations, and be within reach of the imperial family again and I AM AFRAID FOR THEM, PRECIOUS, I TRULY AM.

On a completely different tangent: I am truly not a fan of the novel ending where Theo ends up being crowned emperor. So if this manhwa ends with the coronation of His Imperial Majesty Emperor Therdeo Lapileon and Her Imperial Majesty Empress Pereshati Jahardt, I will be heartbroken. Like, I would have the same reaction to it the way Game of Thrones fans reacted to Season 8. That's how bad I would take it. I hope to all things good seungu deviates from there as well. It feels like the romance is following the novel just a smidge more - a soupçon if you will - in this season, so I'm a little trepidatious about what other aspects might follow. I remain a big fan of how different the manhwa direction is, so... GO SEUNGU!! FOLLOW YOUR STAR!!

P/S: my train of thought while reading ch 90:

Seungu is just bringing all of Phineas' personal trauma in full technicolor when he flashes back to his younger self witnessing his parents fight while his older brother sustains a severe eye injury, oh my god. This poor boy - no wonder he wanted to run so badly.

Oh god, Gloria having to try and save her children from this insane man.

Okay, so this cements that it was Theo's grandfather who was tyrannical as fuck and abused everyone including his youngest grandson? not Theo's father who also looks like he was just Trying His Best? But Gen's dialogue mentions "abeoji" (father)? Did Phineas' older brother neglect his kids or grow up into another abuser??? oh GOD THIS FAMILY

PPS: I cannot WAIT to see how the English translators handle that panel in ch95 when he finally finds enough braincells to return her embrace (that's not just any hug, cmon - that's a full on, no holds barred, literary Embrace)

I'm fairly sure she said "It's/I'm cold", but I also got overexcited because I thought she said "I like you" (???) It's easy to overlap/overhear either phrase as each other coz they sound fairly similar if you say it quickly (same energy like saying "suki" in Japanese but you need context to know if they mean they like a person or something else entirely).

Either way, it was definitely NOT "saranghae", which let's face it, IS FAR TOO DEEP for where they are right now. These two doofuses have only just begun to find out what their feelings mean, tho Theo may be too quick a study , eomma help.

PPPS: Ep 87 comes out in English tomorrow morning (for us in GMT+8 anyway) AND I WILL HAVE WORDS ABOUT THAT CONVERSATION, VJFHDJSKSKSL I CANNOT WAIT

PPPPS: it just occurred to me that all the examples I mentioned about the other comparable dukes of the North have more or less Definitively gotten together with their love interests, emotionally and/or physically. I mean if someone came up with a gantt chart/comparative timeline/line graph of when each duke finally kissed/tumbled into bed with their love interests to prove me wrong/right, that'd be fantastic but anyway

Theo has only just hugged her in ch 95.

They have shared a bed for over 90 chapters and it is ONLY JUST NOW that there is prolonged bodily contact apart from holding (often gloved) hands.

...I keep saying this because it's true: I love this slow burn so much.

#MILAOWM #my in laws are obsessed with me #my in-laws are obsessed with me #spoilers #so spoilers up in here #spoilers every which way everywhere all the time

51 notes · View notes

ndbookstudy · 7 months

Text

Master Of Self Realization - An Ultimate Understanding, Sri siddharameshwar maharaj, part 1 - ch. 9 (pg 126)

Self and non-self.

Anxiety accompanies desire. As long as the mind is full of desire, anxiety will be there. When desire ceases, anxiety is no more. While walking on the street many things are visible, yet we have no attachment to them. However, once the sense of “mine” is conceived, desire arises and one immediately becomes preoccupied with objects.

To feel that something is “mine” is itself bondage. What is truly ours in the physical body? For the body, the air that is inside goes out and the air outside comes in. What belongs to you in this process? In the area of about two feet around the body, there are continuous currents of air. One who can see minutely can be aware of this.

Many special days and festivals are coming and going, and you think that the things in the world are permanent and yours, but you do not see that you really exist prior to all of these objective things. When the perception of objects ends, the desire for the objects also ends, and it does not matter whether objects are existing or not. If you think that some little piece of earth is yours, you immediately become worldly. The mind when dwelling on the Self, is desireless, and when focusing on the physical body as “me” or “mine,” is full of desire.

Strange indeed, is this creation consisting of the five elements. The “One Being” that plays in all bodies is the “AllPervading Universal Self. Understand that “All is Brahman.” The example of the ring and the gold is commonly used. If you consider the ring as Gold, then only the Gold is seen as the substance, but if you look at it as a ring, it is considered as a separate object. Water is water, both in the ocean and the pitcher, but water in the pitcher is separate if you keep the pitcher separate, so do not keep it separate. Know that “All is Brahman.”

Consider all to be your friends, so that there is no duality or dislike in the mind. When you repeat the statement that “All is Brahman,” then why does your attitude not change accordingly? That is because your thinking is warped by the notions of virtue and vice, and you adopt a critical or dualistic attitude. One who pleases you is considered a good person, and the other you consider as bad. However, are there not many others who call that so-called “bad” person, as good? Moreover, to what extent are you yourself good? Are there not some people who take you to be a bad person? Even God is considered in terms of good or bad by many people.

The wise man says that since all are slaves of circumstances (living according to the destiny of the body), how can we differentiate between good and bad people. Circumstances have created the various castes such as carpenters and cobblers, etc. The labels of various occupations have made us think of people as separate. Otherwise, where is the distinction of castes, etc.? Nobody is bad or good. All bodies are subject to circumstances. The stages of childhood, youth, and old-age are there for everyone.

The young man will have not have a white moustache instead of a black one, while the old toothless man cannot gulp down morsels of hard food, etc. In short, do not ridicule others. All are subject to circumstances. One may keep long hair on the head, or wear a beard, it is all a matter of one’s preference. Why should you hate anyone because of such things? Consider the one who criticizes you, or blames you, as a kind person. Keep an open loving attitude towards those who give you a lot of trouble, and remain without enmity. Only then, will you be as Brahman.

Anxiety kills us very early. The one who worries dies with that worry, and hatred is a very heavy burden to bear. Vishwamitra, who was a bachelor and had done a great amount of spiritual practice, became ready even to murder when he went to kill the Sage Vasishtha out of envy and jealousy. It is said that the bag of saffron (a precious delicate tasting spice) become Asafoetida (a pungent spice with strong taste and odor), only because of being in its vicinity. When pride disappears, the thorn that irritates you drops away. Kill pride and then you will yourself become the “Divine Sage,” or “Brahmarishi.” Prostrate before him who hates you. If you decide that someone is bad, then you yourself become bad. One who has no enmity is himself Brahman. To quarrel indicates misunderstanding. The duality of differentiating between sense objects must end. Do not think in terms of hatred or enmity, or good and bad. It is only then that you become as Brahman. Have no enmity towards anyone.

#non dualism #nondualism #sri siddharameshwar maharaj

89 notes · View notes

one-idea · 29 days

Note

I love your wado ichimoji pov posts! Your only in whisky peak and show devotion well in an inanimate object well "my dumass son" (affectionately) *less than 2 weeks after starting to travel with others, the captain still believes after them losing badly*: I have 2 to protect now my son and a little king. What I'm really looking forward to 1. resignation at some point is that Sandai Kitetsu is going to continue to be here 2. the treasure trove of Timeskip on Mihawk's creepy would produce 3. sibling time with enma (Christ they have been made by the same person but wados going to be the only voice of reason between the 3).

Thank you so much!!! Sorry this took me a hot minute to respond to.

I really love that au and I want to work on it more.

As I am only in Thriller Bark I can’t speak in earnest about all of your ideas (yet) but I can hit one.

1. Wado excepting that Sandai Kitsune is here to stay.

They come to a begrudging understanding at the end of Whiskey Peak. Wado still doesn’t like Sandai and hopes Zoro gets ride of it, but at least Sandai has respect for the captain now.

It’s Alabaster where Zoro learns to cut steal when the two finally start to have a smidgen of respect for each other. After all Zoro uses all three blades to cut steal, if Sandai was truly a weak blade she would have broken by now.

Through Jaya and Skypia all three blades are focused on protecting Captain and crew. Gaining respect for some of the other crewmates (namely Robin) though throughout it all Wado is still waiting for Zoro to find a better sword.

It isn’t until Water 7 and Enies Lobby. When all three blades are in unity fighting to save one of their own. Because their King and Master wants the Archaeologist back. Because the King has lead them to an incredible fight, a test of their Skills. Because their King keeps asking them to do the impossible with total confidence that they can, they won’t let him down. (The sea train is going to be fun)

It isn’t until Yabashiri is destroyed that Wado realizes she wasn’t ready to lose either companion.

It’s been so long since she had traveled with companions who had voices. These were the first blades Zoro had, besides her, that had distinguishable voices. To hear one of those go out rattles both Wado and Sandai.

The rust man could have grabbed any of them but he grabbed Yabashiri. Her voice was gone. It takes sometime for both Wado and Sandai to come to terms with that.

While Wado is still annoyed with Sandai and her violent tendencies, she’s mellowed under Zoro’s care. Her bloodthirsty now matches his own. And while she does occasionally cry out for blood, it’s normally because of a threat to King or crew. She no longer calls for the blood of just anyone, only outside threats. Problem is those threats haven’t always attacked them yet. (Sandai’s more of a if we kill it before it can attack it can’t hurt them, sort of protector)

Wado and her still butt heads, but Sandai made it this far as a Grade blade, she’s not going anywhere soon.

Once in Thriller Bark, once they gain Shushi, another one of the 21 Great grade blades, a fully realized black blade, and Wado’s sibling to boot. Things get shaken up again.

Where Wado is motherly and protective of her dumb son’s dreams and loved ones. Aligned with Zoro in dream and crew, knowing him the longest and living up his values.

And Kitsune is Zoro’s bloodthirstiness. His violence but also protective fury. Zoro changed her from pure bloodshed to reflect his own violence. She reflects his more aggressive side.

Yabashiri was quite. One to follow Wado’s lead but still had its own personality. In that offered caution. She reflects Zoro’s observation. The ability to tell what is and isn’t a threat and when to act.

Shushi is different. Shushi already had a master take it to the full extent of its power. He is stronger and more durable. Increasing Zoro’s strength and forcing the others to rise to his level. Zoro cannot take this blade farther, rather he must rise to meet its strength and durability. Harding himself and his other blades to become the strong unbreakable protector of the crew.

Wado and Sandai are not (yet) black blades they can still grow and rise with Zoro’s power. Shushi is both a greatly needed boost and a challenge to rise to. He often thinks back on his prior master and compares Zoro to him. (He is quite pleased to be wielded by a descendent of his beloved Shimotsuki Ryuma)

Once I get to Zoro training with Mihawk I’ll talk more about them. But it’s going to be really fun to write all three swords interacting with Yoru. But it’s also going to be hard on Wado. Up until then Zoro favored her as his one sword style blade. But after his time with Mihawk it switches to Shushi. A stronger more durable blade. While the switch makes sense, I’m sure it was a hard transition for both Wado and Zoro. And I’m excited to write on it.

I am so excited to get to Wado and get Enma. It’s a needed change for Zoro to push forward. While Enma has great power on its own, it’s not yet a permanent black blade. There is still room to grow and strengthen along side Zoro. Shushi couldn’t grown anymore. Zoro had mastered it, he rose to the challenge and surpassed it. Now he needs to bring his own blades to the top.

(I really hope one of his blades becomes permanently black by the end of the show. I want it to be Wado)

Right now I’m in Thriller Bark, but the platform im watching on only has the show up to Marineford/ASL adventures so once I get through all of that, I will either rewatch all pre-time skip and start writing my Wado Ichimoji POV au and Reverse Strawhats while I wait for the platform to put up more episodes or I’ll crack and get a new subscription to watch post time skip. Only time will tell.

#one piece #roronoa zoro #zolu #one piece zolu #wado ichimonji #wadi Ichimonji pov #sandai kitetsu #yabashiri #shushi #Enma

38 notes · View notes

tripleyeeet · 7 months

Text

WTF ARE WE TALKING FOR?

SUMMARY: Zayis and Astarion argue their way through the insides of the Nautiloid!

PAIRING: Astarion & Zayis (OFC)

WORD COUNT: 5,400

WARNINGS: Canon typical violence, old married couple style bickering mostly.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to everyone who's been so kind to Zayis! I love her dearly so I'm very glad there's people out there that are enjoying her too. :') Also big inspo for this chapter goes to Labrinth and this song.

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST

Zayis is upright and locked in place the first time she comes to. Against the mechanism that holds her down, her eyes slowly flutter open, working to focus on the dimly lit area in front of her, noticing it’s all flesh and bone —a structure that looks to be inside of something foreign.

As she blinks, the first thing she sees is the bubbled cover over top of her, shielding her from further movement as her eyes dart back and forth, suddenly focusing on the tissue that covers the walls. Narrowing her eyes at the weblike strands of muscle, she quickly wonders if they’re truly made of flesh or not before spotting a couple of unfamiliar structures.

The first is a series of pod-like containers similar to the one she currently finds herself encased in. All of them are set up in a deliberate circle, facing each other so that she can see the other people trapped inside. For now, all of them are knocked unconscious except for a brown-haired man who doesn’t seem to notice her. Looking around, his eyes are wide as they work to scan the area, stopping every so often to narrow at specifics.

Just like her, his body is tethered to the contraption they both find themselves in, forcing his hands to remain at his sides as he grits his teeth and begins to struggle. Watching him shift, Zayis immediately attempts to do the same, feeling the pull of her shackles restrict her movement as she rolls her shoulders, trying angrily to slither out somehow.

When it doesn’t work she merely huffs and begins to look around again, noticing in the corner of the room there’s a sort of work table occupied by a cloaked body. Standing tall against its edge, Zayis cocks her head and tries to get a better angle somehow, failing quite miserably when she accidentally bonks her head against the glass.

Suddenly startled, she scrunches up her face and pulls back, watching the man from before catch her attention, his eyes growing wider —a newfound desperation filling his features. Aggressively, his mouth moves across her sightline, forcing her to focus on the way it curls beneath his well-groomed beard, attempting to garner further attention. Failing, however, to convey his message thanks to the distance between them.

Unbeknownst to this though, the man continues repeating his words, widening his mouth to the point where Zayis merely shakes her head and scowls, causing him to furrow his brow before repeating the process —this time with actual words.

His voice is faint. A muffled echo that hits the lid of her pod but she still understands. “Mind flayer,” he says, partially clear, causing the words to hit her ears like a stack of tumbling books, sending her mind on a journey of emotions as she looks back at the worktable.

Almost immediately, the body that resides there stiffens at the sound of the stranger’s voice. Stretching its spine to its full extent, there’s only about half a second before it fully turns, revealing the aforementioned creature in all its horror, prompting Zayis to whine.

She’s always had an irrational fear of mind flayers, despite knowing their presence is few and far between inside the walls of Baldur’s Gate. Even as a child she was always teased when the topic was brought up —laughed at whenever she shuddered at the thought of seeing one in person.

Now that she’s face to face with one, all she can think about is her brother. How when she was seven she lay terrified under the covers of her bed, listening to the endless theatrics of Dharmir’s voice describing the way they’d brainwash their victims by sticking tadpoles in their eyes.

Immediately, her own eyes twitch at such a thought, pulsing almost rapidly to match the lack of breath that hits her chest once she realizes that that’s most likely what she’s about to experience. How, as her brother deeply described, she’ll be gifted with her own little wriggler before turning into a mind flayer herself in just a matter of days.

Reluctantly remembering this information, a wave of anxiety hits then. The uneasy feeling quickly blooming out from the depths of her stomach —rushing so quick that she can feel it take over her body in a matter of seconds, pushing her limbs to violently shake against the shackles that hold her, watching as the aforementioned creature turns, making her squeal.

If she wasn’t so terrified by the image of the mind flayer’s violet eyes encased in dark obsidian, she’d be closing her own in embarrassment. Attempting to regain her composure, she watches it begin to move forward, practically slithering beneath its long, dark cloak until it’s face-to-face with the window of her pod.

When it arrives, she all but freezes upon the impact of its icy stare, suddenly hearing the echoing facts of her brother’s twelve-year-old voice telling her of her future. Telling her that it’s only a matter of time before the tadpole burrows into the backing of her eye to nestle up against her nerves.

Trying not to think about it, she swallows hard and stares as it motions outward with the wave of its hand, triggering a click within the hood of her enclosure. Seemingly out of nowhere, it hisses open on command, wafting a heavy breeze across her exposed skin, making her shiver for a moment before she opens her mouth, attempting to speak.

Unsurprisingly, nothing comes out. Not even a nervous squeak like before. Instead, all that happens is her jaw begins to clench. Both sets of teeth tightening together as she imagines the lower half of her face being ripped apart to make room for the same tentacles she now sees before her.

Tentacles that move when she suddenly wines, gliding through the air almost absentmindedly, forcing her stomach to churn, knowing any sort of attempted communication is futile. Because while the creature is upright, sure, moving closer and closer until it’s practically breathing in her face and blinking, she knows it’s not of its own accord. No, something’s commanding it —guiding it to raise one of its appendages to stroke her cheek while another unfurls her greatest fear.

The tadpole is small in its gasp. Wiggling against the cool-toned flesh of the flayer, it skitters loudly and inches towards her face, sending Zayis into another fit of panic that has her throwing herself back in an attempt to increase the distance, despite knowing it’s all for naught. Knowing that —in all her anxiously spurred research over the years— very rarely do people survive a mind flayer attack.

Which makes sense, considering how powerful they’re known to be. Having a seemingly limitless amount of power, it’s no wonder both she and Astarion were caught off guard. How before either of them could even think to retaliate they were already lost to the darkness of their shared unconsciousness.

In less than a couple of seconds they were rendered useless. Knocked into submission and torn from their respective lives; a thought that makes Zayis panic even harder as she cranes her neck to the side, trying to spot the elf.

Despite the obvious excitement of the tadpole as it continues to creep closer, all Zayis can do is focus on the pods. One by one, as each flashes through her vision, she explores the features of each contained person. A dark-skinned man, a Githyanki woman —the bearded man practically shaking himself to death. Most of them lie unresponsive, lost to a sea of blissful unawareness as the man directly across from her starts to yell.

This time she can’t quite hear what he’s saying. Too focused on finding Astarion, her mind blocks out the pleading sounds he emits, giving her eyes more attention as she finally lands on his pale face.

It’s in and out of consciousness. From across the way, she can see his eyes trying to pry themselves open, his head slowly falling back until it hits a certain point and he’s jostled awake.

As soon as that happens Zayis yells his name. Over and over, her voice carries far better than that of the other man thanks to her open pod, hitting his ears after about the fifth go, grabbing his attention just as the tadpole hits her cheek.

Despite wanting to remain calm, she all but lets out a nervous sound and looks down as it happens, watching through her peripherals as it begins to inch up her skin, leaving behind a mucus trail. Once again, attempting to rip herself out of the pod, her body shakes with newfound intensity at the feeling, discarding the sight of Astarion, who follows suit a few pods down, calling her name in response.

“Fuck, fuck fuck…”

Her chest heaves at the unwanted anticipation. Aching in a way she hasn’t felt in quite some time, her lack of composure makes it hard to register the fact that the tadpole is now at her eye, poking the edge with curiosity —testing the waters before it inevitably dives in, prompting her to scream.

It’s more painful than she ever could have imagined. Comparable to that of a stab wound, its teeth rip through the edge of her cornea, laying waste to her nerves as bouts of blooming pain radiate across her face the further it gets.

It makes her wish she was already dead. Instead of enduring this pain she knows will only end in the dying of her own mind, she wishes she could yell for Astarion to chuck his blade at her head. To kill her before she can turn into the same creature that stands before her, staring with empty eyes as she continues to cry and squirm, eventually letting the agony of it all overcome her.

The second time she comes to, her pod is hissing open again.

Stirring awake, the jump from confusion to awareness is much quicker this time, lasting only a couple of seconds before she’s leaping onto the ground, stumbling to her knees. Groaning low, she whips her head up to look around, noticing the open pods that lay strewn about, all of them empty aside from the one Astarion sits in, eyes shut tight in annoyance.

Upon noticing this, Zayis shakily stands and palms the base of her wrists, rubbing rough patterns into the bruises that have formed as she tries her best to move as efficiently as possible.

Still in the pod, Astarion remains unaware of her presence as she does this. Too caught up in whatever thoughts float through his mind, he’s completely still up until the point Zayis slaps a palm to the cover, making him jump.

“You fucking —this isn’t the time for games, you idiot! Get me out of here!”

Immediately, she laughs and steps back, taking in the way he grits his teeth —a newfound expression of annoyance lacing his features.

“An old fashioned please might be nice.”

“Oh, piss off.”

He rolls his shoulders against the shackles, ignoring her as he grunts with every pull, prompting Zayis to look around the room again.

Unlike before the space is completely ruined. Subtle flames lick the edges of the room, threatening to further ignite amongst the rubble that’s been uplifted throughout. Narrowing her eyes further, her gaze eventually wanders to the body of the mind flayer. Partially burnt and no longer breathing, she ignores Astarion’s continued pleading to let him out in favour of looting the creature's pockets, finding a well-worn blade as well as what looks to be some kind of rune.

“Yes! Wonderful idea! Focus on stealing Illithid garbage rather than saving your only chance at survival!”

She turns on her heel, running her finger along the edge of the knife as she wanders back, giving him a smug look. “I’d say my chances are better than yours, Fangs. All things considered.”

“They’d grow greatly with help though, wouldn’t they?”

“Hm, would they?” Her brow quirks up as she shoves the mind flayer’s knife into the holster on her hip, debating the odds. Sure, with Astarion, if they’re ambushed in any way their chances of surviving are nearly doubled. Considering they’re both skilled fighters and have developed a strong compatibility on the battlefield, it’s very rare they ever lose. Often fighting as dirty as possible, their ability to play off one another without much thought has become second nature —an unspoken language of movement after years of practice.

Because of this, Zayis knows she should let him out, that instead of being resentful of his constant poor attitude, she should be happy that he’s willing to work with her instead of against her. Especially because it’s not every day he comes around so willingly.

“If I let you out are you going to be nice?”

Unsurprisingly, Astarion huffs and rolls his eyes. “Yes, fine. I’ll be nice. Whatever you want. Just please get me out of this damned thing I’m starting to lose feeling in my fucking hands.”

His body returns to its previous struggle, knocking about the pod violently while Zayis tries to find a way to get him out.

“Did you see how it opened?”

“No.”

She sighs and turns towards the mind flayer again, trying to remember how it opened hers. In the moment, all she saw was the flick of its finger. A simple motion used to pry the contraption open. Nothing physical in the slightest.

“I think it used its powers to open it.”

“Really? I never would’ve guessed.”

His voice is laced with a sarcasm she doesn’t enjoy. Looking back to glare at him, she narrows her eyes and tries to focus on the pod, glancing at all the etchings that surround the glass. The designs are intricate, looking almost veiny, curling up to wrap around the glass container Astarion still sits in and ultimately, it just makes her shudder to remember how it felt.

“Maybe I could—“

“Could what? Will it open with your mind?” He lets out a single ha, sounding so patronizing that Zayis can’t help but want to leave him right then and there.

“Well, do you have any other ideas?”

“A few. None that you’ll listen to though.”

Proving his point, Zayis closes her eyes and focuses on the pod instead of listening, feeling nothing but the pulsating ache behind her eye that reminds her of the creature that now sits there.

Instantly, a shiver runs up her spine at the thought, her body twitching as it stirs awake, prompting the pain to worsen. Then, all at once, her head begins to feel like it’s splitting open. Raising her hands to her face, she grips her temples tightly and doubles over, feeling a body of hands lay waste to her frame —all of them weighing her down for merely a moment. Grabbing handfuls of her skin, they work together to bring her to the ground as they laugh, their cackles pushing through her head until suddenly everything is normal again. As if nothing ever happened.

“What the hells was that?”

She turns to Astarion who’s breathing rather heavily, his chest rising and falling at such a rapid pace Zayis can’t help but feel a bit worried. It’s not like him to rattle so easily. Having endured enough bullshit in his time, he’s quite possibly the most resilient person she knows. So obviously, whatever it was he saw in that moment must’ve really spooked him.

“The tadpole’s doing, probably.”

Despite not knowing if that’s true, Zayis says it so confidently that all Astarion does is give her a quick nod, watching her spring into action once again, sifting through the room for clues until she eventually finds some sort of control panel. Once there, she gently runs her hand along the face, trying to find her way around until she remembers the rune.

There’s a hole that’s about the same size at the centre of the panel. Taking it from her pocket, she turns the object over and studies the markings, running her fingers along the edge before she ultimately decides to take a chance and shove it in.

As soon as she does, her mind wanders to the image of the pod opening like before. Of the mind flayer standing in front of her with its raised hand, willing her release. In clear detail, she can see the twitch of its index finger —the way its subtle movement previously pushed the whole thing open.

As she does this, that familiar hiss rings out, causing her to see the breath of relief Astarion lets out once the air hits his face.

“Thanks gods, it was absolutely boiling in there,” he says, and immediately she rushes to his side, watching the wobbly way he reaches out to grab her helping hands before realizing what he’s doing and swatting them away.

“Let’s get the fuck out here.”

Neither of them wastes any time. Moving through the wreckage, they quickly find themselves at a door made of flesh. One the peels open with a squelch causing both of them to cringe in response and hurry through. After that, they explore the new room they now find themselves in, Astarion moving towards a pile of fresh bodies while Zayis moves to the second floor, spotting a half-conscious man.

His head is completely cut open, revealing a twitching brain the closer she gets. Scrunching up her nose, she watches as it forces the half-dead body around the chair it occupies, whispering muffled words into her ears until she’s directly in front of it.

Save Us from this husk!

Its voice is an amalgamation of different vocals. Layered on top of each other, the sound immediately piques Zayis’s interest, willing her to take a half step closer in response. “Save you?”

Please! Before they return!

Raising her brow, she quickly glances at Astarion for a second opinion, watching as he continues fishing through pockets before looking back at the creature before her, remembering that she doesn’t need one.

“Wait, who’s they?”

The enemy! So many enemies!

The brain quivers then. Somehow nestling further into the skull it sits in, Zayis stands there a moment, beginning to weigh the options.

Because she could save the brain and risk possible deception. But something at the back of her mind tells her the creature isn’t quite intelligent enough to come up with such a plan. Considering it appears to be brand new, she’s sure the only thoughts it really knows are that of its surroundings and perhaps the memories of the human it currently occupies.

“Zayis! What the hell are you doing up there? Hurry up!”

Even when Astarion calls to her, her eyes never leave the brain as she continues to think. Instead, all they do is focus harder, watching it wiggle inside the cavity it houses, trying to break free as it speaks of needing to be saved again.

“I think I found us a little friend!”

“A what?”

Once again, the brain asks her to let it out. In a soft, echoing chorus of voices, it begs for help until she ultimately relents, placing her hands on either side of the corpse’s skull before yanking it upward. At first, it doesn’t budge, but then she hears Astarion’s footsteps and looks up to see him frowning, causing her hands to twitch and the brain to slip from its hold, sending her tumbling backwards.

Almost immediately, Astarion sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You know, normally I’d laugh at the misfortune of you falling on your ass but considering we’re, oh I don’t know, trying not to die via Illithid I—“

Before he can finish, the brain leaps from Zayis’s hands and begins to sprout a set of legs, causing both of them to look in slight horror before it excitedly speaks of its freedom.

We must get to the helm!

“Gods, that is truly rank.”

Moving to stand back up, Zayis rolls her eyes and moves closer to the creature, holding her hand out to feel it brush against it, tickling her skin in the process. “Oh, it’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? It’s a bloody brain with legs. It’s hideous!”

She looks up at him with a pout, running her hand along the creature's grooves, feeling it wiggle excitedly beneath her grasp. “Aw, sweetheart he didn’t mean that. You’re a beautiful little brain —the most, in fact.”

After that she pulls it up towards her chest, carrying it as they move back down to the main floor —much to Astarion’s dismay.

“Just so we’re clear you’re not keeping it,” he tells her.

“You say that like you have a choice in the matter.” Smirking, Zayis continues stroking the creature's back, listening to the happy sounds it emits while Astarion scoffs, both of them moving forward.

“You know Vesryn’s going to have a fit when you bring that home.”

She opens her mouth to respond —to tell him that he won’t care— but then she realizes that the possibility of even having that conversation is low. Having thrown a knife at his head before disappearing into the night with the one man he hates most, it’s a rather safe bet he’d want nothing to do with her after all is said and done.

Considering tensions were already high to begin with thanks to the constant bickering and the lack of time spent trying to mend whatever relationship was still there, she wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already moved on.

“Good thing I’m probably not going home after this.”

Frowning at the sudden, unthought choice of words, Zayis moves a little faster, willing her feet to follow the air that begins to violently whip through her lungs, pulling her towards a more open area.

Once there, she discovers the outside world around them —the melting sunset sky suddenly obscured by a large red dragon rushing across their sight lines. As well as an endless sea of green that greets their eyes as they both swallow hard and look down, discovering just how swiftly they’re soaring in the air.

“Shit.”

As she swears, Zayis feels the brain in her arms shuffle in her grasp before it leaps in front of them, reminding them that they need to get to the helm before it’s too late, prompting Astarion to sigh.

“You’re not seriously going to listen to that thing are you?”

“You mean the thing that probably lives here and knows where everything is?”

She shoots him an angry look —one he reciprocates with nothing more than a scoff as he brushes past, knocking his shoulder against her’s in the process, making her groan because even at his most helpful he still manages to be so insufferable it hurts.

Which makes the situation they find themselves in that much more annoying, knowing he’s more than likely just doing it on purpose. That instead of grinning and bearing it like she’s at least trying to, he’s deliberately making things difficult for her. (Something he always does instead of communicating that she’s done something wrong.)

Because of this, she assumes it’s due to the incident in the alleyway. Or rather, the conversation had before the alleyway that almost led them to do something irrevocably stupid. Considering she herself is guiltily pissed off at the interruption herself, she can only imagine how he’s feeling. With all that pent-up anger and frustration he often maintains, he’s probably thinking of a million ways he’d like to kill the flayers that interrupted them as he continues to stomp his way forward, prompting Zayis to reluctantly follow.

“You know, being pissed off at me for something I had no control over isn’t very fair.”

She’s not sure why she’s bringing it up. Especially now. If anything they should be focusing on the task at hand —following their little brain friend to the helm or whatever the hell it’s called so that they can leave and live their final days in peace.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No?”

He shakes his head, refusing to meet her eye.

“Fine. I’ll drop it then. No need to dwell on the past as they say. Better to move forward and—“

He whips around and stares, narrowing his eyes at the way her face breaks out into a smirk. “I’m not annoyed at that,” he says then, waving his hand around nonchalantly, making her raise a brow. “I’m annoyed at you and your inability to focus for the slightest of moments!”

“Excuse you, I focus!”

“No you don’t!”

“Yes—“

“Zayis, right now we are on an Illithid ship with tadpoles for brains and you’re over here playing nice with that thing, acting like it has the authority to tell us where to go!”

She opens her mouth to argue but fails when she watches him shake his head and laugh, mocking her in that familiar tone.

“I mean, honestly, I’m normally all for the submission of chaos and all it’s pleasantries —you know that— but right now I am far more interesting in getting off this bloody ship so I can stop looking at your fucking face for five minutes!”

By the time his outburst is done, Zayis can’t help but hold in a laugh, watching the way his eyes go wide and his hair falls wildly out of place. It’s, unfortunately, more entertaining than effective, prompting her to clear her throat and hold her tongue, allowing Astarion his one moment of peace before they’re interrupted by a sound overhead.

It’s subtle enough that it could just be the wind but regardless both of them look up, freezing in place once a figure dive-bombs from above, landing directly in front of them with their sword. As it happens, they both take half a step back, watching as a Githyanki woman snarls in their face, pointing the weapon just shy of Zayis’s throat as she calls her an abomination.

“Excuse me?”

Snarling in response, the woman parts her teeth slowly before all at once that familiar pain inside Zayis’s head erupts, prompting everyone to groan, feeling it too.

In an instant, her mind aches with newfound visions —ones of dragons flying overhead, their vibrant red scales gleaming off the edge of a silver sword that’s tossed through the air, landing just shy of her face. Breathing hard, she can feel the presence of an unknown threat creeping closer before a white hot flash eventually hits, resulting in the vision’s inevitable passing.

As it leaves, all three of them are left a bit breathless, prompting the Githyanki to cautiously lower her sword and focus on Zayis. “You are no thrall.”

“I beg your pardon?” Astarion asks, shooting her an annoyed look while Zayis merely narrows her eyes, feeling utterly confused.

“I will sooner slit your throat then beg, ska’keth.”

“Wait, what? No, that’s not—”

Before he can explain further, she aggressively mutters something in her own language and then raises her sword, motioning behind her. “We must get to the helm before it’s too late,” she tells him, both her and Zayis watching as Astarion immediately presses his palms into the sockets of his eyes, emitting a low groan that leaves Zayis specifically reeling with joy, trying not to laugh as the brain beneath their feet begins to hop around.

Yes! The helm! We must get to the helm!

It’s almost comedic the way Astarion relents —the way the base of his hands scrubs angrily down his face to reveal a wicked scowl. As it happens, Zayis can’t help but continue to bite back a grin. An air of smugness filling her features as she hears Astarion swear under his breath.

“Oh, for fuck sakes —yes, fine, fine! We’ll go to the bloody helm!”

“Wise choice.”

After the Githyanki speaks, all four of them begin their trek, walking along the outside path until they come up on another opening that leads them back into the depths of the ship. Identical to the other rooms there’s various pods scattered throughout the room they now find themselves in, all of them devoid of life, despite the few bodies still being kept inside.

Moving further inside, they notice that near the far edge, a cluttered desk sits with various runes strewn about, along with a chest that Astarion can’t help but race towards, prompting their new friend to groan.

“We do not have time for this.”

Despite wanting to follow Astarion’s greedy little footsteps, deep down, Zayis knows that she’s right. As much as it pains her to not be able to root around a little herself, she understands they have to hurry. To make up for lost time especially after she’s already wasted so much evicting their little friend from his previous home.

It makes her groan in annoyance just thinking about it, remembering that such actions are why Astarion’s so pissed off in the first place. Why, as she looks over and notices the almost bored look in his eyes as he picks up a couple of runes, quickly sifting through them before tossing them aside, she suddenly feels this newfound resentment rising through her chest.

All at once, it takes over. As she watches him jut out his lip, pouting at the lack of interesting things he’s managed to find, she can’t help but wonder what it feels like to be such a hypocrite. To look into the face of the only person you can currently trust, chastise them for their actions, and then immediately do the same.

It must feel like nothing, Zayis decides. At least to him. Considering he barely bats an eye as the Githyanki passes him, muttering under her breath in anger, she figures his ability to care became lost the moment he was proven wrong —a habit of his she’s experienced once or twice during their time together.

A habit she quickly learned to just avoid altogether. Seeing as they were only ever in each other’s orbit for a few hours at a time, she’s always defaulted to avoidance. To pretend like it didn’t deeply affect her mood each time he chose to shut down or be rude or, in this case, a combination of both.

During those moments, it was frustrating but ultimately easier than the moment she now finds herself, wandering towards him alongside the brain that squeaks out a quiet request to get to the helm again.

“Our friend is leaving, you know,” she says once she’s there, watching as he makes no effort to showcase any interest. Opting instead to procure a lock pick from his belt.

“Friend is a bold term.”

“Oh, shut up. She’s just trying to help us. Besides, you said so yourself that there’s safety in numbers.”

He huffs, pausing the movements of his hands to look up at her with narrowed eyes. “Yes, but I said that so that you’d let me out. Not so we could follow around some Gith we don’t even know."

“A Gith who doesn’t know us either,” she reminds him, causing Astarion to grunt in anger and straighten his back.

“You don’t actually expect her to help us, do you?” Letting out a laugh that seems far too relaxed for the moment, Astarion shakes his head and leans a hand against the desk beside him, allowing his weight to fall to the side casually. “She’s a homicidal maniac —she threatened you with a knife!”

“Astarion, you do that to me all the time!”

“Not to harm you,” he scoffs.

“Oh, really? Why then?”

He opens his mouth, failing to produce an answer, prompting Zayis to scoff back.

“You know, I’m really tired of arguing with you all the time,” she says then, motioning to his frame with an open hand.

“Likewise.”

“So, can we just not?”

It’s a simple question. One that hangs in the air far too long to earn either of them an equally simple answer. Resulting in further frustrations that have both of them stubbornly silent, waiting for the other to speak. To give in for the slightest of moments so that they can both breathe a sigh of relief and move on.

Something that neither of them do, causing the tension to grow as Zayis continues to stare at Astarion’s face, watching the way it all but twitches in response, resulting in her shoving his arm and wandering off with the scuttling brain.

@poohxlove @gaiasmight @sassy-stupid @novarex @v-gremlin @sapphiccloud @lipstickghoulie @kuroitsukyo@jjfchk@idiotsatan@bluestuesday@bloopthebat@art-by-greenie@heneralmoon@sukunababe@dreamingaboutyousworld@ranfithegood@haniscrying@liadamerondjarin@the-lake-is-calling@marina-and-the-memes@rookieoftheyear@zraloci-cpr@kaetmo@snickerdoodle-daydream@wowowwild@d1anna@raswiet@conniesbbymama@venus-wrts@demonicthorns@kihten@deadglamsheep@sanscas@spammypasta@leighsartworks216@rose-gold-blue@p1ssmagg0t@hellish-writes@ghostinvenus@otayz@sexysquatch@sleepyeclair@colorful-anxieties@alina-exe@ilana-the-lasagna@lillifer@girlwiththepapatattoo@y2cade@acelin-ginsberg@pinkuranium@catrad0rable@scarletrosesposts@qwnamidala@itsrosebabe@bunnyperi@queenofcarrotflowers-s@tatumadams20@spkyxszn@chlort@f3v3rs@awkwardwookie@joy-the-reader@warm-milk-with-honey-blog@vertigocrime@iyis@wildpiper@pebblethestone@tillywasneverhere@bex-03@kaetmo@revemiya@staticspouse@itzagothamcitysiren@djarinsmixtape@when-the-night-came@epicy0n@bababahannah@sleepyred1703@lotus-99@lofcompass@r4d10h34d5@vampninjaz@itsmekalou@offbrandhand@yikes-buddy@konenichi@rainonarden@oceanbluesixeyes@bodtyworship@maydayitsjay@greasyslimebucket@yeeteth-the-raven@fantasyfairysworld@allexthakatt@flowersaretheshit@morglyne@thespectacularspaceace@cephiss0@use-your-telescope@furblrwurblr@kloverfield@angelofthorr@writervaul-t@starved-kitten@minixluvr@crowley--aziraphale@sapphicwren@alionera-blog@jennithejester@dezedrol@thisisew@saladalpaca@applepiewithbacon@httpbiohazard@aurasyn@nerdoodles@kingpinthedevil@itzkawaiix@domainoflostsouls@silverskylan@uminootome@helpidkwhatimdoingwrong@deadlyinfernos@blackbirdswhispers@sarahskywalker-amadala@writingmysanity@f3v3rs@jayjones03@quietlyebbie@optimisticprime3@eyes-for-daze@sunnytalia3@megoshh@maddiedott@cappsikle@mostbeautifulnightmare@lynnlovesloki@simpytheshrimpy69@astarion-archive@smaranshakthi@autistic-deer@shadowfeart@freckled-petals@candied-lavender@hp-art-studio@ghouligan@satelliteapotheosis@waywardwitch-hel@pandimoostuff@mythoughtsofinsanity@ilovelovelylove@oneandonlyizabelle

TAGLIST NOW CLOSED!

#wtf are we talking for #curse you!#astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion fan fic #astarion series #astarion x zayis #zaystarion #astarion x original female character #astarion x female oc #summer writes

55 notes · View notes

maskyartist · 1 year

Text

Okay I’m making this it’s own post cause I’m fucking losing my mind, but mostly over one thing and that’s Roman Torchwick and how he’s characterized in this single moment

Now keep in mind I haven’t watched the full episode, nor have I gotten the chance to read Roman Holiday (a damn shame I know), but I don’t think I need to rn to ramble about this point cause it just hit me like a train.

CRWBY never forgot about Roman. They didn’t just kill him off and make Neo go solo.

They set this up from the start.

The fact that Neo is silent means we can never truly know what’s going on in her head. We don’t know her thoughts. We don’t know her feelings. All we knew was she was mad for Roman and went to get Cinder for it, then Ruby herself. But never the full extent of it all.

Neo’s muteness made US, the audience, almost forget about Roman to watch her perform as a side piece to a lot of the villains. Never truly forgetting, but assuming he wouldn’t be brought up again. The hat and scarf would be reminders but never would they actually mention Roman because they killed him off in such an unceremonious way.

So to actually see THIS

To see just how deep these two went, to get full in show confirmation that they were partners in every sense of the word (romantic or platonic take it how u will but I love some Gelato so this fed me well), only to have him SPEAK? It throws you off.

Not only is it confirmation that Roman was never forgotten, but it also proves one thing about Neo that I think is so important.

She had nothing beyond Roman. “One Thing” was right. She had Roman, and he was taken away from her. And for the rest of the series, through every adventure, every appearance, every moment she was and wasn’t on screen-

She was thinking of him. Remembering him. Keeping him in her thoughts.

I understand that Neo talking through Roman makes sense and that’s why he’s got the most speaking lines, but I do find it interesting that everyone else from the “dead people lineup” is so quiet. Such a caricature of themselves.

Neo never met them personally, she doesn’t even know Leo or Clover, and Penny, Pyrrha, Ironwood, and Ozpin are all based on Ruby’s own memories Wonderland is probably pulling from her. But even they’re barebones. The only ones who have speaking lines are Penny, Pyrrha, and Ozpin and they are extremely generic.

Meanwhile, Roman is fully fleshed out. A whole person. He has his attitude, his emotions, his reactions, Neo never forgot him. She never forgot his exact self.

She uses him as her mic because he was always her voice. He was the one who made things make sense.

The line “That’s what I offered her back on Remnant.” just proves how long Neo’s thought of him. Never forgetting their promises, never forgetting his words, never forgetting him.

How many nights did Neo stay up thinking of him? How many times did she create his illusion just to play pretend for a little longer?

Everyone forgot Roman. After his death, he practically never existed. Left everyone’s minds. He wasn’t important by that point because he wasn’t an immediate threat.

But Neo never forgot.

And somehow that’s more terrifying then I thought it would be… The idea of her constantly thinking about him, trying to keep him alive in her mind. It’s no longer just about Ruby killing Roman, it’s that she forgot. That’s what ticked Neo off even more, that Ruby didn’t even view what she did as important enough to remember.

“That’s what this is about?! You still blame me for What happened to Torchwick!”

As if to say “Really? That’s all this is? Just him?”

To her, it’s mockery. As if he wasn’t even worth her time when Roman meant everything to Neo. He was her whole world, judging by, once again-

“Always loved the idea of a place to run away from it all… Do whatever you want! I offered that to her back on Remnant.”

Roman took care of reality, while Neo was able to live in her fantasy world. He handled the world. She just had to live in it, perform for it, and enjoy whatever popped up next. He brought her the escape she’s always wanted. A world where no one could hurt her, no one could catch her… Just Roman and Neo. Partners in crime. In everything.

Roman was Neo’s whole world, her One Thing…and that was stolen from her.

She didn’t have the power to make that known before. But with Wonderland…she can do anything she wants.

#rwby #rwby v9 #rwby v9 spoilers #neo politan #roman torchwick #JUST SOME THOUGHTS AFTER REWATCHING THAT CLIP OVER N OVER AGAIN #BUT HOLY SHIT YALL #I’m gonna be the most annoying bitch today #y’all gonna see me YALL GONNA SEE ME

66 notes · View notes

jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav · 1 year

Text

How Obey Me Shot Itself In The Foot - Introduction

MASSIVE WARNING FOR DISCUSSION OF RELIGION. Specifically of Abrahamic religions (Islam, Christianity, and Judaism) and their shared God. I am doing this in a media analysis context, not to shame any particular religion or anyone’s particular beliefs. If that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to not read this post, stop reading at any point, and/or unfollow/block me. DO NOT try to start religious discourse on this post or in my askbox/DMs, I will clown on and block you.

Also spoiler warnings for a ton of different Obey Me lessons.

Intro (you're here), Michael (X)(X)(X)(X), Conclusion (X)(X)

A while ago, someone sent me an ask about why I think Raphael should kill MC. Instead of answering in a succinct manner, I proceeded to draft a multi-part informal essay about one of, imo, the biggest plot holes/writing foibles in Obey Me, and what I'd do if I was in charge of writing it.

This is the first part of that essay. It does not address why I think Raphael should kill MC at all, but we'll get there.

(Also, a masterlist of all the parts of this essay will be posted once I've... posted all the parts lol)

So full disclosure: I haven't actually made it to the part of Obey Me where Raphael actually shows up*, I've just seen screenshots of various bits n bobs as well as the many memes the fandom's made that portray him as a wet cat

But, based on the way that Obey Me can't seem to decide if it's a fun silly comedy/romance about demons or a serious political and interpersonal drama, I don't think they have the desire *cough*orwritingchops*cough* to actually follow through on Raphael's "assassin" thing in a long term interesting way

And that's because I don't think they can decide on how to handle the entire Celestial Realm.

*In a series of truly stupid (on my part) shenanigans, I lost my og account, which I believe was at Lesson 41. I've made a new one, which is on... lesson 8. yeah. fuck me. Long story short, any plot developments past lesson 41 I only know through fandom osmosis - I understand there's some grandfather-clause-esque shit happening with MC and the boys in the Celestial Realm apparently? But yeah, no firsthand experience beyond that point.

Before I get into this, I want to clarify that a) these are just my thoughts, and since I am one person, they’re likely to be flawed and incomplete, and b) because we haven’t actually seen a lot of characters like Michael, the Demon King, or… well, God, I can’t talk much about their depictions in canon. What I can (and will) do though is talk about their archetypal roles in a larger media context, as well as how they (could be) foiled off of other characters. So yeah. This is basically red string and push pins on a murder board. Anyway!

To start, let's get really fucking basic for a second:

The Celestial Realm is clearly analogous to Heaven

The typical expectation audiences have vis a vis Heaven is that Heaven = Good

The Devildom is clearly analogous to Hell

The typical audience expectation for Hell is Hell = Bad

The Devildom, while dark, spooky, and full of danger is both shown and implied to be not totally terrible, and in fact has several virtues to its name

The Celestial Realm, while bright, cheery, and full of fluffy angels is implied to be very rigid and militaristic, to such an extent that it was willing to kill one of their own for breaking these rules (and cast out several others for defending her)

The Devildom is currently under the control of Prince/Lord Diavolo, son of the Demon King (who’s “asleep” in a mausoleum), who acts very unlike what one would expect of demonic royalty.

It can be said, then, that Diavolo is standing in for the Demon King.

The Celestial Realm is, as far as we can tell, currently under the control of Michael, an archangel who in Obey Me is said to be the guardian angel of confectioners, but in various Abrahamic mythologies has been associated with being chief of the angels, a protector of humanity/the faithful, and the (current) right hand of the big guy upstairs Himself (sometimes replacing Lucifer, sometimes not).

It can be said, then, that Michael is standing in for God.

Based on the early concern that demons would eat MC and the attitudes the brothers (and now other characters like Mephistopheles) have had to unlearn vis a vis humans, it seems that the traditional Devildom attitude towards humans is more hostile, and implies that Diavolo’s predecessor, the Demon King, was more “traditionally demonic” and created/enforced this hegemony.

Based on what we understand of the Great Celestial War, plus the way the brothers and characters like Luke and Simeon talk, the “traditional” Celestial attitude towards humans and demons was more hostile, and implies that Michael’s predecessor is the one who created/enforced this hegemony.

That sounds like a fun setup for conflict, right? You’ve got these two worlds with all sorts of baggage between them, including turncoats and personal grudges and fantasy-racial prejudice, a central character (MC) designed to pull them all together and help them settle their differences— oh but we do need actual villains so maybe the endgame involves the two OG leaders of the respective magic worlds coming back and getting generational whiplash from all this mixing and the protagonists have to fight them and—

I did mention one of the aforementioned “Big Bad” figures is analogous to God, Creator of the Universe of the Actual Bible right?

Yeah, no fucking way is a dating sim going to put The Abrahamic God as a villain/antagonist and have that go down in any kind of good way. Bc, you know… depicting Actual God, especially in any kind of nuanced or even negative light when the work isn’t really centrally about that is… it’s a lot.

So where do we go from here?

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me michael #obey me demon king #mine #How Obey Me Shot Itself In The Foot

84 notes · View notes

shattered-sparks · 1 year

Note

Hey, anon who asked if I could go off about the current Moon situation here. Sorry I'm late, the ADHD struck and I completely forgot I sent that ask lol.

Anywho! I saw a post about how Moon's behavior in the episode where BloodMoon dies (y'know, where he confronts Sun after the barrel goes off?) was "guilt tripping" and "unnecessarily pressuring" and I just. *Yells of frustration*

He was so obviously just trying to comfort his brother who was clearly shook up! He could see that his brother was distressed and had been declining for some time now and wanted to let him know that he was there if need be. If anything, a little pressuring was warranted considering that Sun was clearly not ok and, y'know, just fucking killed someone.

Oh! And that's another thing! Moon at the time of the episode doesn't fucking know that! He doesn't know that Sun's true reason for being shaken was because he just committed a murder. What in the fuck would he be "guilt tripping" Sun for?

The post also brought up a bunch of other points, but I genuinely don't know where they came from or what episodes they were getting the behavior examples from because I honestly don't see any of it, at least not to the extent the poster did.

It frustrates me because the moment they did point out was one of Moon's best brotherly moments in the show, and they're trying to use it against him.

These characters are not black and white, good versus evil, they're people, with nuance, who won't always react in the best manner, and who won't always be the best people. I'm not saying Moon is perfect or free of fault, boyo definitely has some issues and stuff he needs to work on, but this villainization shit is really getting on my nerves.

Why don't we focus on the actual antagonist (key word: antagonist, not villain (though he very much would fit that definition too, saying he was a villain would undermine the statement I made not 2 seconds ago)) of this story, eh? You know, the person who planted a fucking bomb in Lunar's head? To get an overpowered star so he could do only god knows what with it? Seems to make a lot more sense to go after him than one of the protagonists.

Oof, sorry that was so long TvT. I really wanted to get that off of my chest but I'm too scared to make a public post. Thank you for listening!

(P.S, none of the anger or frustration in this is directed at you. You are very much not who I'm upset with and I appreciate you giving me a place to talk about it. /g)

First off I actually enjoy that you took the time to make this so long and detailed. Cannot express that enough. More people need to take time out of their days to see the full points being written, not just the TLDR. secondly, completely agree with your statements here. I'm been holding my tongue on the whole Moon villization thing for a while but recent stuff just broke that dam. They often blame Moon for Sun's own wrong doings and try and say that Moon is at fault when he's not. The whole garbage chocolate situation perfectly showed what I mean when the fandom likes to make Moon out to be the worst character. (Yes I did see their response to my own post, I will not get into it but I still do not agree with how they see Moon but they can keep their opinion and I'll keep mine) Thirdly, I've seen people say the same thing as you and I am glad I could be that voice for you guys too scared or anxious to get your thoughts out there. This fandom needs to work on respecting opinions, you're allowed to share your thoughts, no matter if people agree or disagree. Don't let others push you around <3 1 thing I've recently had in mind about this whole thing is I don't think a lot of people truly understand when Moon means he doesn't understand how to comfort. He's not a very social person and to expect him and Sun to know what to do despite these very obvious traits is missing the entire point of it all. The Sun and Moon channel is, although not 100% correct, shows a lot about mental health and the effects it has on people. Basically all the character have depression, from Moon who openly hates himself to Sun constantly doubting himself. Another big one that comes to mind is ADHD and Autism represiation in the show (Although this is more so headcannon) with how Lunar and Moon struggle with social cues and their tones being flat while Sun and Monty have a lot of energy and is easily distracted. In the end I think the fandom just needs to take more time in seeing the full characters, not just 1 trait. Hell like you said, all the characters are in a grey area, even the main bad guy Eclipse. I could make a whole argument that he's in just as much pain as Sun and Moon is. Does that make his actions okay? Hell no, but these characters have a lot more depth then what most people see

#You're all good haha #I've been excitedly waiting for your response since I was really curious #SAMS Thoughts #SAMS #TSAMS #The Sun and Moon Show #Howls from the Abyss

38 notes · View notes

dolphin1812 · 1 year

Text

The atmospheric aspects of this chapter are really impressive; the combination of the full moon, the constant threat of being shot, and the awareness of the destroyed villages around Waterloo that are never mentioned in the context of the battle is at once spooky, tragic, and suspenseful.

As is usual when Hugo writes about Thénardier, I feel conflicted. On the one hand, Thénardier truly is despicable, so criticism of him is justified. On the other, Hugo slips into dehumanizing language that feels inflected with classism. Take this section, for instance:

“Every army has a rear-guard, and it is that which must be blamed. Bat-like creatures, half brigands and lackeys; all the sorts of vespertillos that that twilight called war engenders; wearers of uniforms, who take no part in the fighting; pretended invalids; formidable limpers; interloping sutlers, trotting along in little carts, sometimes accompanied by their wives, and stealing things which they sell again; beggars offering themselves as guides to officers; soldiers’ servants; marauders; armies on the march in days gone by,—we are not speaking of the present,—dragged all this behind them, so that in the special language they are called “stragglers.” No army, no nation, was responsible for those beings [ . . . ]”

The people doing these acts are defined either as definitively inhuman - as “bat-like creatures” - or as what they are/pretend to be (”half brigands,” “pretended invalids,” “beggars”). Not only that, they’re outside of any “army” or “nation,” further othering them (and sidestepping the issue of actual soldiers doing this, even though Hugo is aware that they do). While we know that Thénardier specifically is simply a horrible person (from his treatment of Cosette), it’s not too difficult to imagine someone else doing this out of genuine need. Given the risks of death for those following armies (Hugo says that Wellington orders that anyone caught robbing should be shot), it is precisely the most desperate who are likely to take that risk. It’s understandable that Hugo focuses on characters who’ve committed “sympathetic” crimes: Valjean is a thief, but he stole food to feed his sister’s children; Fantine’s prostitution is less sympathetic in and of itself from the perspective of a 19th-century audience, but it’s framed as a sacrifice for Cosette, which ultimately keeps her in the sympathetic role of “mother.” A large section of his readership (and who he was aiming to convince with his work) was the bourgeoisie, and he had to be attentive to the risks he was taking in justifying different acts that would be classed as immoral. Robbing the dead is certainly up there as far as reprehensible acts go, but it’s still frustrating to see Hugo neglect to extend some care to these people. Even worse, he says that “discipline” is the only thing that could change them, which feels particularly bourgeois and is so out of place in a novel about the power of compassion. As much as I hate Thénardier, the issue with this depiction is that (1), dehumanizing language is risky in general, and (2), Hugo extends this to a class of people, almost inadvertently villainizing groups within the lower classes.

I also find Pontmercy’s interaction with Thénardier so sad. Of course, it’s upsetting that he thinks he saved him when he really was just robbing him, but the extent to which he’s worn out is tangible? For instance, when Thénardier says that the English have won, Pontmercy doesn’t even react; he automatically goes to the next matter, which is compensating Thénardier. As an officer, we can assume he was dedicated to the Bonapartist cause; it’s even the first thing he asks about when he regains consciousness. The fact that he doesn’t even have the energy to mourn this defeat, then, is crushing in itself.

#les mis letters #lm 2.1.19 #monsieur thénardier #georges pontmercy #waterloo

33 notes · View notes

littlealeta · 11 months

Text

Why Catherine Needed Rin

I know a lot of people criticize Full Body for things like its transphobia and the inclusion of Rin. While I do agree that Rin could've been written better in terms of the story, I am not at all mad at the inclusion of Rin and her different personality at all. In a game where everything and everyone is constantly traumatizing and treating the main character like he's the devil, it's nice to have a character that sees past his flaws and anxiety for the caring person he truly is. And that at the end of the day, despite his mistakes, he's just a sad, anxious, traumatized dude who needs a hug and a real friend. Their relationship is honestly really sweet, which made me feel really disappointed that Atlus couldn't include her for the whole Classic route. I mean, imagine Rin comforting Vincent after his breakup and getting beaten by Catherine. She could've been the one to save him from the beating!

Rin is truly the breath of fresh air the game needed. She's such a pure-hearted character that she becomes the only person who Vincent truly feels happy around. We don't see him stutter, yell at, or overall feel uncomfortable around Rin. She is the only person who never yells at or criticizes Vincent. She lets him be himself, even if it may not fit with what other people expect for someone of his gender and age. Vincent does lash out once but it was very minor, he had a lot on his mind, and he apologized afterward.

Rin, in my opinion, made Catherine a slightly better experience. One of the reasons I didn't like Catherine was because everyone in the game is kinda shitty and I especially didn't like all the pressure everyone put on the main character, who was going through a tough time and like me, has trouble making decisions and is possibly autistic.

Everyone else is just horribly written because of how surface-level they feel. They all are selfish and/or whiny jackasses with no rhyme or reason, no self-awareness, and no character development. Vincent is definitely the most complex character in the cast because while he is a selfish, whiny jackass, he has his reasons (his struggle with his toxic relationships and being forced upon while drunk) and he grows as a person. And he's often aware and guilty of how selfish he's being. They try to develop Orlando, but was also implied to already have been a jackass in the past and he brought the emotional damage onto himself by hurting his lover with his bad decision-making, so no sympathy for him there. Also, please be more considerate of your best friend who is going through an extremely horrible life crisis. Erica is definitely bitter and cynical because of the treatment she gets from her friends, but she's also very self-righteous herself and likes to force her own biased morals and feelings onto other people. It also doesn't make sense at all why she would not tell Toby about her gender when the game now takes place in 2019 where there should be less stigma against trans people. Toby is just... a stupid selfish whiny brat. Like dude, you're close to my age and yes I can be whiny and selfish, but not to that extent. Grow up, man. Katherine is just so stupid to me. I know she's trying to be the logical one, but she's just so stupid in her determination to get her lover who she's clearly unhappy with to marry and have a family with her, not understanding that logically, Vincent is not fit for serious relationships let alone with her and she makes no attempts at fixing their relationship. She tends to be unnecessarily nitpicky and bossy toward Vincent even for little things like not getting out of bed while she's SITTING ON HIM. And the Boss is just... a classic power hungry self-righteous dictator, just on a fantasy level. He's the villain so whatever, I guess.

Vincent did not deserve either atherine in the original game because neither were good to him. I theorize that maybe the loved ones he has are in some way responsible for the mess he became. Because I can't imagine having such a toxic community like that around and being acting like my normal nice self to them. I would act a lot worse than Vincent ever has (cheating aside). I think he's way too forgiving how he still keeps these fake ass "friends" around that constantly tells him how much he sucks because he can't make decisions and runs away from conflict and act like Katherine is an angel who Vincent should stick with despite their obvious communication issues. Yes, Vincent has flaws, but I would not want to be around someone who's constantly treating me like I'm the worst person ever and pressuring me to make decisions faster.

If you think Vincent is an evil person or that he deserves everything he gets, shut up and have these pictures of Rin and Vincent being sweet together.

#catherine full body #catherine game #vincent brooks #vincent x rin #katherine mcbride

18 notes · View notes

sockori · 6 months

Text

shmupdate 🧦

very long, hastily written, but a look is appreciated

greetings- to those who are somehow still lingering around this account or came up upon it during my desolate time off. it is sock. or sockori.... or raven... my name is actually raven (they/it, 20 yo disabled autistic goth nerd whatever the fuck). howdy

im still on the 'undetermined hiatus' so to speak that i described in my leaving post, but i will say right now that i have no near future plans on returning. in the tags on my newest art, i mentioned my naruto hyperfixation (of like. 6 years i think) finally died out and other interests have long since captured my autism full force. for me personally, when i lose a special interest like this so drastically, i just full on abandon it for as long as it stands. however, this isn't the only thing that made me leave, and i think its time for me to be completely honest & get some weight off my chest.

i made this account around the cusp of turning 14, during a god awful pubescent era where i acted as any other edgy teen does and i'd much rather like to forget these days. what im saying is i was not in the right mindset at all when i exposed myself that much & got the attention that i did. a dismayingly giant coping mechanism i had in my youth was being online 24/7 because i had no one in reality to lean on let alone feel comfortable talking to about anything that was happening at that time. this of course leads to what the kids call these days being 'chronically online'- desperate for some sort of assurance or interaction, i crawled into internet spaces i shouldn't have been for an also incredibly unsupervised child using the dangerous worldwide web.

yes, naruto was apart of this, as well as other interests i had at the time. throughout my journey i met unsavory people, suffered abhorrent things like stalking & gr---ming, saw things i didn't deserve to see, did a bunch of stupid shit an angsty teen does, i believe you understand the rest. i am in no way proud or gleeful about any of these years and have some very sour memories tied to fandom as a whole, not just naruto, and i really don't like reflecting on them. so, unfortunately, this account sorta became a bitter reminder of what i went through as i grew up & finally matured and sought to recover. that's the first part of why my activity fizzled away & i began backing off from internet use entirely.

the second part is sasori. yes, the puppet man. sorta the sole reason i made sockori in the first place. as the sasori enjoyers following / who followed know, this puppeteer has an incredibly unhealthy philosophy and worldview (if the carefully preserved corpses turned puppets and complete lack of humanity didn't give that away), and is safe to say entirely detached from his reality to a nhilistic and suicidal extent. when you autistically fixate on a character like how i did, sometimes this character's rhetoric can seep into your own without you even realizing; Especially when you're a spot where you are incredibly vulnerable and psychologically unstable, as i was in my youth. now i didn't go around believing you should uhhh murder people and preserve them Obviously- actually i began to believe that perhaps there was some peace in obtaining a robotic existence. maybe emotions were useless, perhaps nothing truly mattered, my life didn't matter, art in eternal in the sense that death is scary and i should avoid it at all costs, why make connections with people when they just die or leave, cant trust people at all to help me, xyz. anything in these lines. without going too uncomfortably deep for everyone's sake and mine, it fucked me up severely. i suppose in a way it relates to how he uses poison. his toxins got right into my nervous system, but the pain i felt from those toxins was the only thing i could really rely on at the time, so i just let it happen. such is the depressing case of coping in the worst spot of your life.

cant help but feel incredibly strange telling the tale, as it sounds so obscure doesn't it, but media can truly get inside your psyche like this if a consumer isn't careful. not sure if anyone else out there fell into a similar headspace dealing with interests in this nature- but regardless. what i mean to say is, sasori is now a kind of content i cant consume anymore. i am in a way better place now, have grown wise and balanced with careful recovery and patience, and of course have grown out of whatever teenage nonsense i was on. sasori, who was once the only thing my autistic traumatized ass could lean on, is now an extremely dark shadow on my life. yes i see this homicidal anime puppet dude from a fantasy ninja anime and get psychological distress. he's somewhat of an aggressor or abuser to me now, which is tragic. ive been actively avoiding everything even vaguely relating to him, be it the art of puppetry, anime clips, robotic/sci-fi genre, whatnot cause i just. man. i dont wanna go back there. shouldn't have to explain why at this point. ptsd at its finest

feel like ive been honest enough. sasori enjoyers out there who were just around to enjoy what i made, anyone i happened to be good friends with during my time on this account, this doesn't have anything to do with you guys. i appreciate everyone dearly for supporting me and cheering me on in whatever i made despite all the hell & anguish that was taking place beyond the keyboard. im just glad that i managed to find some way out and get the help i need before i gave up & took my own life, which depressingly i almost did a handful of times. carrying the horrors is an exhausting burden to bare sometimes, but that does not mean i can't look back on the good parts of the era too. and seeing you all happy and sharing my memes or whatever made me ecstatic and at least a little bit hopeful for the future. fortunately that little spark of hope grew into something more. thanks for being a light in a very, very dark room.

that being said, i leave you all with this: i am not dead, just greatly changed, a new person at last freed from apathy & exhaustion, with now enough room to finally grow. the memories will never truly fade & my disabilities will be a part of me until i pass on, but at least now i can manage them a lot better than ever before, surrounded by way better people who love me for who i am. i will hang on the best i can. i wish for you to do the same. find freedom and happiness wherever you are. take care. happy trails

trans rights. i eat fascist souls. free palestine

#sasori #world is pain but i will manage

17 notes · View notes

archivalofsins · 11 months

Text

So, the thing about Amane's door reveal- I still think it's a courthouse given everything we know about her.

Plus, she's making a swinging motion as though she's about to slam down a gavel. The door to the building in this case Amane's mind is also reinforced, which goverment buildings tend to be. That and the implication she views her beliefs and understanding of things as the only correct one that outside forces must be scrutinized under if conflict arises is nothing new. We've seen her warn both Shidou and Mahiru this trial for not adhering to her rules through their behavior.

The architecture while having some aspects remniscent of temples isn't out of left field. Because older courthouses and government buildings almost everywhere have some features remniscent of that. However, Amane's door seems to mesh religion and law together to perfectly embody her ideals. Even though Amane cares about her religion she has been shown to value law and other beliefs to the extent that such things don't impose on hers.

Plus, during her first voice drama, she says,

"Hmm...a murderer." - "I did not. Me telling you that it is wrong to assume that I cannot kill someone because I'm twelve, and me being unhappy with being labeled a murderer are two separate things. After all, logic and emotion are not the same thing."

Showing that Amane can distinguish between critical thought and thoughts based on emotions. As well as separate the two. Meaning she can probably apply the same logic to her religious beliefs and the law as well. However, in the case of Shidou and Mahiru she is chosing not to this unlike with Futa who she has yet to reprimand for getting medical care.

The difference is that Mahiru and Shidou treat Amane like a child. Futa, on the other hand, may call her a brat, but he doesn't really overlook or ignore Amane's points based on her age. They are prone to having back and forth conversations as well that are more a clash of ideals than I'm treating you this way because you're a child, you silly kid you just don't understand yet. His behavior comes off less condescending overall. So, even though they have spoken sense the attacks, it's no surprise Amane had conveniently not given him a warning.

"Hmm... Talking about me having killed a person... That may be true, but I do not think that I did anything wrong."

"That's not up for you to decide. In Milgram, I make the decisions. If I say something was a mistake, it's a mistake."

"If you claim that what I did was a mistake, I believe you are the one in the wrong."

Then she says this,

"Hm, you may say it was wrong, but isn't what you are doing here a crime as well? Well, I do have something more important to me than general law. So, I will try not to judge you either."

From the beginning, Amane has understood what Milgram does is against the law. She gave Milgram the option to overlook her behavior, and in return, she'd overlook the facility's. Heck, maybe we could even work together if things went alright. However, Milgram sided against Amane. Don't fret though, Amane is a good girl she's not mad, just disappointed,

"Honestly…… I had high hopes for you, but you understand nothing."

She's nothing if not gracious. So, she'll give a warning,

"So you decided you don’t forgive me. If you don’t fix your way of thinking, we’ll never forgive you for all eternity."

She's even kind enough to reiterate her previous deal-

"What we think is right and wrong is evidently not the same as what Milgram thinks is right and wrong. Milgram is an incorrect world. But I’ll forgive you this once. We value thought. You should think hard about it."

Even though her thoughts haven't been valued in the same way. Her thoughts on her own actions have been chastised and belittled while people who don't know the full story continue to go by her age alone. Wrongfully assuming that since she's young, she can be taught out of it.

If we think really hard on it though Amane truly believes,

"I know you can do it."

However, if we think too little and come to the wrong answer,

"I will deny you a distorted vision needs to be purged! Let's strangle his throat thoroughly so he'll never talk back."

If Milgram is that sort of incorrect place Amane has no choice but to judge it by her higher more just laws. That's simply the righteous thing to do!

I'm happy that Amane is still the same as usual~

Milgram is going to be in her courtroom soon. I have high expectations for you kid and you've yet to disappoint.

#milgram #momose amane

16 notes · View notes

ohbutwheresyourheart · 21 days

Note

2, 3, and 23 for Tansy!

Hehehe thank you for giving me a chance to talk about my most troubled daughter. TW for discussions of cannibalism, suicide, and religious trauma.

2. What’s something about your OC that people wouldn’t expect just from looking at them?

Well, for Tansy, the immediate and obvious answer is “she’s a necromancer” haha.

I’m still hammering out the exact lore on necromancy for Unquiet Bones, but so far: it’s a power bestowed on Tansy (so those in the know believe) by Ysa-Munda, the Goddess of Death. Mother Josefina, the head priestess of Ysa-Munda, initially thought it more likely it was a gift from Xenith, the God of Life, on the basis that Ysa-Munda would be shooting Herself in the foot a bit giving someone the power to bring people back from the dead. But… she got shouted down. Because, hey, what would she know?

Some followers of Ysa-Munda have a very mild form of Tansy’s powers: they can search the afterlife for souls and occasionally perform seances to bring the soul briefly back to speak with loved ones. Even this, however, is seen as stepping of Ysa-Munda’s toes and only done in special circumstances -- e.g., if someone died in a sudden accident, then with a sufficient ‘donation’ to the temple, it might be allowed for the deceased’s family to contact their soul to say goodbye. This may or may not also be used to figure out inheritances.

(Sidebar: Ysa-Munda is also an unofficial patron goddess of lawyers/accountants, because nothing in life is certain except death and taxes.)

Tansy, however, can go much further than this: she can bring souls all the way back from the dead and place them back in their bodies. This is how she resurrected King Damian when he was dying as a child (and has done so multiple times since).

The downside to this is that Tansy is explicitly a necromancer, not a healer. The soul gets put back in the body in… exactly the state the body is in. So if, say, she resurrected someone who died of a virulent flesh-eating plague -- well, that would probably be quite traumatising for the soul in question.

The other downside is that Tansy requires a physical connection to the person she is resurrecting. For anyone not related to her by blood, this is satisfied by drinking their blood or, for a full resurrection, eating their flesh.

(Damian, oddly, is exempt from this; his father, King Theodoric, claimed it must be due to Damian’s royal blood: he is, via the divine right of kings, connected to all of his subjects. Nobody in the intervening years has seen a good reason to disclaim this, or an alternate explanation.)

Very few people, even within the cult of Ysa-Munda, are aware of the extent of Tansy’s powers, as Mother Josefina feared that widespread knowledge of a true necromancer would cause either a) mass hysteria and danger of violence towards Tansy, and/or b) that Tansy would be petitioned to resurrect multitudes of people. Mother Josefina , especially given her doubt even now that Tansy’s gift truly does come from Ysa-Munda, fears that Tansy using her powers any more than absolutely necessary would bring Mother Death’s rage down upon them all.

3. What is your OC’s fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

This is SUCH a good question because I was honestly stumped for a little while!

After mulling it over, I think Tansy’s fatal flaw is ultimately her inability to see situations from the perspective of other people.

For example, when Damian tells her again and again that he doesn’t want her to continue resurrecting him, Tansy assumes he’s just attempting to shirk his responsibilities as king and not realising how grateful he should be for a miracle (possibly because she heard this expressed as a child by other people).

Or when she asks Lucia to leave Varnius’s commune and come back to Haelgavaard, not understanding why Lucia would turn down someone who cares for her and is willing to provide for her material needs and why that wouldn’t be enough to erase her mental health issues.

Tansy isn’t malicious (although she definitely does some awful things), but she is someone who has rigid beliefs that are extremely difficult to change. She considers herself to be logical and is inclined to think people who disagree with her without (in Tansy’s opinion) a good reason are being controlled by their emotions. The solution, then, is to talk the person down until they realise how irrational they are and come around to Tansy’s way of thinking.

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

I think both of these ultimately come back to fear.

Tansy was deeply terrified and traumatised as a child when her first attempt to resurrect her foster mother who died of the plague turned out horribly. Her foster mother suffered immensely until she was killed again to put her out of her misery, the rest of her foster family turned against her and denounced her as a monster, and she was then ripped away from the only family she had ever known and taken to do that exact awful thing again to a boy her own age.

She was then told that the fate of the entire kingdom rested on her doing that awful thing again, and again, and again, as often as needed. Even as the boy she grew to care about grew, in his turn, to hate her for being his tormentor. Even when she fled the kingdom, she was eventually dragged back and the metaphorical shackles put on again. There is no escape from her life except escaping her life, and the thing she is most afraid of in the world is facing Ysa-Munda when she dies.

Tansy has been afraid of so much, for so long, that she’s grown almost numb to it: the fear has been so consistent that it’s become her baseline and she can no longer really tell when she’s feeling it. Tangled up in this is the thread she clings to that as long as she does what she’s told and fulfils her given role then everything will be okay and she’ll be okay and so she just has to keep treading the same path and -- yeah. She’s a mess.

#unquiet bones #antanasia

3 notes · View notes

veinereastath · 2 years

Text

Jᴜᴅɢᴍᴇɴᴛ Dᴀʏ [Aʀᴛʜᴜʀ Hᴀʀʀᴏᴡ x Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ-sʜᴏᴛ]

Sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɢᴏᴇs sᴘʏɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ Mᴀʀᴄ, sᴛᴀʏs ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ, ᴏʜ ɴᴏ. Wᴏʀᴅs: 2611 Wᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: Nᴏɴᴇ. Tʜɪs ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇ ɪs ᴘᴜʀᴇ ᴀs ғʀᴇsʜ ɪᴄᴇ.

Aᴜᴛʜᴏʀ's ɴᴏᴛᴇ: Aɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ-sʜᴏᴛ ᴏғ Hᴀʀʀᴏᴡ, ᴍʏ ʙᴇʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ/ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ғᴇᴍᴀʟᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ, ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ. I'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ 2ɴᴅ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ, ᴀs sᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ. Hᴏᴡᴇᴠᴇʀ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪɴ ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ʟᴇғᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴇᴄᴜʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ, sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴏ ᴡɪʟᴅ.

Iᴛ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏғ ᴡᴇᴀᴋɴᴇss ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴀɴᴀʟʏsɪs, ɪɴᴛʀᴏsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʙɪᴛs ᴏғ ᴅɪᴀʟᴏɢᴜᴇ. Aʟsᴏ, ᴜɴᴅᴇʀʟʏɪɴɢ ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀ. Nᴏᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴏғʀᴇᴀᴅᴇᴅ + Eɴɢʟɪsʜ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴍʏ ғɪʀsᴛ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, sᴏ sᴏʀʀʏ ɪɴ ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴄᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs.

Aᴠᴀɪʟᴀʙʟᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ AO3.

_____________________________________

She started to spy on Harrow's community in London at the beginning of May. While these people did nothing in particular to grasp the actual attention of the authorities, neither the lower or the higher sort, she could feel there was something eerie and wrong about them as soon as she stepped in between the buildings they occupied. There wasn't a lot of people there, at least not as much as possibly could, considering the amount of living space; she estimated there to be around seventy to ninety people at best. They tended to come and go; and if someone seemed to disappear, they disappeared for good, never to return. She quickly noticed the pattern – if someone was no more to be around anymore, the last person they spoke to was Arthur Harrow. Each and every time.

Considering his role in this little merry cult he has build, it was understandable that he had the right to deem someone unworthy and send them back home, wherever it may be. However, considering who he was, according to Marc, and the mysterious cane he almost always had at his side, it was hard to believe he would just allow people to leave. She was pretty sure that the only form of sending someone back was, for Harrow, to send them back permanently. To another world, literally.

She shouldn't be surprised – she was aware of his past dealings with Khonshu, as well as his current obsession with Ammit. She was fairly certain that despite all those gentle smiles, pats on the back and words of semi genuine comfort, he would be ready to sacrifice all these people in those communities he's build around the world in a blink of an eye, if only it would bring him closer to awakening the crocodile goddess that seemed to drive his every action, thought and gesture.

She had a chance to see him many times, though she did her best to avoid a heads-on confrontation. Yes, they exchanged some words, and she played the card of the most innocent, pure soul on this earth, in order to push her cane-judgment as far to the future as she possibly could. Harrow, to her relief, seemed to be convinced enough by this facade to actually postpone it, and did not push her into the subject. In exchange, she did what she could to help the community, even in the simplest tasks. She walked around, talked to people in order to know them better – both because her cover required it, and because every single piece of information could be important.

Harrow asked her about her past, and sometimes she could feel him watching from afar. Whether he suspected her actual agenda and just allowed her to play, waiting for her to slip, was a mystery to her like the man himself. After nearly four months she still barely knew anything about him – anything real, anyhow. Even though the facade of genuine politeness was masterfully crafted – yes, she was truly impressed by his abilities – she knew that something way darker was hidden underneath. Sometimes she could swear she can see it, a darker shade of something ominous, hiding in the depths of those blue eyes of his. They were full of wisdom, but they were also very expressive. To what extent he could control what they actually were showing – she also didn't know. It was driving her mad, because the best description of Harrow she could deliver to Marc was basically "he's extremely clever, cunning and can adapt to any situation accordingly, like a chameleon. He knows what to say, when to say and how to say it. He knows what strings to pull, what questions to ask, what to do to push his goals further." Shortly speaking, she could say that "Arthur Harrow is an A-class manipulator" and that was it. Because of how good he was, she couldn't get under that mask of his.

She admired him, and was intrigued by the way he acted, but at the same time was genuinely afraid everytime he came into her vision and their eyes connected. Even though he always made sure to send her a polite smile, she could swear that something was wrong. He knows, something seemed to tell her in the back of her mind. He knows, he's just seeing how far you're willing to go with this. Leave, tell Marc you can't do anything else and just suggest you can help him in more direct way, instead of being his eyes and ears.

She wanted to leave, many times. And, interestingly enough, and she knew it could not be a coincidence, he seemed to appear just when she was about to stroll out of the street occupied by the community and get out of London. He casually came over, and started to ask her about her worries – like he could actually sense something in her head was trying to fight back. What exactly he could get by allowing her to play for this long, she didn't know. And she was afraid of what his reasoning might be. When the very first days of September came, their relationship became... Strained, to say the least. He knew about her true purpose, and she was aware of this. He seemed to communicate with her with silent stares, his smiles towards her became more eerie, different, and his eyes shone with something else when they spoke. He didn't call her out directly – actually, he didn't even leave anny bread crumbs or slight suggestions. No, he spoke to her as he always did, his words pure and comforting, but the undertones were obvious to her.

She should run, and yet she stayed. One day longer, two days, three days. Week. Two weeks. Why, she wasn't sure. Sometimes, when she was laying awake in the middle of the night, when mind likes going haywire, untamed, she had these thoughts – maybe he actually got under her skin, to the point where she liked talking to him, where she liked those undertones of danger in his stance, where she liked the fact he played this silent game with her – and perhaps even he enjoyed it, too. Maybe they had this weird, private relationship of 'I know, you know that I know, but we both like it, so let's keep knowing, playing, and see where it goes.' It seemed absurd, but that was the most accurate description of her current reality she could think of.

Everytime these thoughts were going too far, she hit herself with a pillow. But they still came, nearly every night, and she felt like she was starting to get insane. Was this the side-effect of being around him?

"Your troubles never seem to truly leave you, do they?"

She gasped, turning around to see him standing right behind her, his cream-colored coat blowing slightly in the wind, with a strand of hair cutting through his forehead. He tilted his head a little, giving her one of those smiles of his. She responded in kind, bowing her head a little, reminding herself about the innocent face she has to pull if she wants to survive.

"It's nothing." Was her response, an obvious classic of its kind. "I think I'm just tired, is all. My mind is slipping of its boundaries."

He chuckled, his eyes temporarily leaving her face, looking at the face of the moon above, shining on the cobblestones of the street with a familiar, blueish hue. "Yes, our human minds like to make those attempts of escape. Still, it's worth giving ourselves a try at gaining more control." Harrow looks at the bench nearby and gestures in its direction, asking her to follow. She complies, even though she knows that every time they have these little conversations, each and every one leads her closer to her possible demise. Still, if she wanted to run away, she should've done it sooner. An hour before, for example. Or last week. Or last month. Two months...

She blinks hard in order to scatter her thoughts away, focusing on the way Arthur walks – he isn't limping, she already noticed that. He was perfectly able of walking without this cane of his. What never ceased to amaze her, however, was that creepy crunching of glass in his shoes. And it was fairly easy to hear, too. How was he able to sneak up on me?

She sits next to him, folding her hands on her lap, shivering slightly. Not really because of the cold. He notices, of course. She tried to not focus on that, hoping to regain control of the situation fast enough to be able to get rid of him. And, preferably, finally get out of here. She was staying too long.

"So, what's on your mind on this fine evening?" Harrow asks, his eyes looking for hers. It's a trap, because she knows that if she looks at them for too long, it will be harder for her to remain composed. No more than three seconds, she reminds herself. Three seconds of eye contact, then look somewhere else, fidget with your hands. Act small, he will get bored and go away.

Well, that never exactly worked, but a bit of naivete in the time of stress can't hurt, no?

"A lot, I guess." She says, chuckling awkwardly. "Maybe it's my turn for middle-age crisis or something."

He smiles. "Oh, I think you're definitely too young for that." She looks at him again, and those blue eyes are watching, analyzing. In the light of the moon, they almost look otherwordly. And they seem to tell her something else, something that is hidden and requires more than just three second of eye contact to decipher. It's like he's genuinely tries her to break that rule she has, to push her out of her comfort zone and step into the light.

Considering how the moonlight is shining on him, yet she's mostly hidden in the shadow of the tree above their heads, the metaphor works quite well.

"Well, yes, but I suppose some kind of, emmm, 'identity confusion' is possible even at my age." She looks at her hands again, trying to hide away from his gaze. It's impossible – he sees everything, and it feels nearly physical. "It's nothing important. It goes away as quickly as it comes, won't be an issue in a few minutes or so."

"Struggling with ourselves is probably the toughest battle all of us have to fight at some point." He says, lifting his chin slightly. "But the most important thing to remember is not to be scared of it. Step ahead..." He seems to drawl out the last two words, and that deliberate shift in his tone of voice lights the little, red diode in her mind. He's warning her. "... Take responsibility."

The diode, she thinks, very quickly metamorphoses itself into a huge red neon banner. She looks at him, not sure what to say, and he's smiling slightly. It's a charming smile, truly, it awakens in her something akin to genuine attraction. If to ignore how it literally seemed to say to her 'I know.'

Fuck.

"You think I should step ahead?" She finally gathers her courage back, but her voice isn't that little and innocent anymore; though she can't hide the undertones of pure uncertainty and fear. Harrow catches it mid-flight and adapts accordingly. At this point, she knows that every gesture he makes serves a specific role – she noticed the way his long fingers gently trace the line of the crocodile heads on his cane, how his left foot taps the ground quietly a few times. Five times, she counts.

"I do." His voice is smooth and rough at the same time, like honey coated with warm sand. "I think it would do you good, my pure little soul."

She gulps, then takes a long breath, ignoring how it almost sounded like a genuine pet name. "You think I'm pure?" Another question. It's nothing more as trying to buy herself some time to gather enough ideas to formulate a plan. A plan which right now she desperately needs. She briefly looks at the moon above them. Full moon. Huh, weird. The time for the full moon isn't until five days from now on.

Harrow's slow, silent purr once again brings her back to the present moment. Whether she's grateful for this or no, she can't tell. Her mind picks up on the sound he just made and seems to revel in it for a short while, and the cringe she feels towards herself makes her shiver once more.

"Well, I suppose it's up to debate." He shifts, eyes travelling to his right, where he clutches his cane and slowly brings it between them. Oh, that's bad. Still, he doesn't yet make any move towards grabbing her wrists. Yet. "We've both waited quite long to see this for ourselves, don't you think?"

She blinks, a bit too fast for someone who's supposed to stay calm. "I didn't think time was so important." She admits, her eyes tracing the lines of the crocodile heads. In the light of the moon, their amethyst eyes seem to actually shine.

"When we fight in the name of eternity, the idea of time may seem small." Harrow's left hand moves to his right arm, and he slowly starts to bare the tattoo of scales for her to see. She does her best to try and control the rising panic. Could she try to run away? Possibly. They were, interestingly, totally alone. Actually, the street seem to be deserted, the only people she could notice were very far away.

Everytime someone dissapears from this community, they are left with Harrow alone right before they're last seen.

"So, is this finally time for my judgment day?" Her voice is quiet, and even though she tries to sound sure, she knows he can feel her tremble. Was she a good person? Yes, she liked to believe so. Unless Ammit decides that stealing a candy bar from a supermarket at the age of eight was a mortal sin, that is. Or, the cane actually can predict who would stay loyal to Ammit no matter what, while the whole "purify of evil" motto was just a ruse. That could be a possibility. Egyptian Gods were liars, after all. Like all gods, she supposed.

She feels the touch of Harrow's figertips on her palm, and it cuts her train of thoughts short. She blinks again, surprised at how warm and truly comforting his touch is. He traces a small circle with his thumb, and then his right hand briefly cups her cheek. His smile is back on his face, delicate, pure... Almost sorrowful, like if he knew what is going to happen and somehow regretted it. But in his eyes she can see cold steel, and which one if true and prevailing, she didn't know.

"Don't be afraid." His hand leaves her face, but before it does, one of his fingers very briefly brushes across her lower lip. "You did well. It was actually amusing to watch you."

And that's all he says before his fingers clutch around her wrists, slowly but surely. His grip is strong, but not painful – it's actually weirdly comforting, though she can clearly understand the hidden message. Don't run. You have nowhere to go.

The tattoo on his arm starts to shift, and she looks at it, hypnotized. And in the moment something cuts through the night sky, in the light of the early full moon, she can feel a sharp breath of the wind, and scales on Harrow's arm turn red.

#I can't believe how much this show awakened my motivation for writing #it's extraordinary #anyways here have this and enjoy #I'm such a sucker for drama I'm not sorry #but like a silent drama #threatening little one #ominous and ambiguous #my jam #arthur harrow #arthur harrow x reader #my writing #moon knight

173 notes · View notes