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corazondebeskar-reads · 5 months

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you know you never stood a chance - chapter six

you know you never stood a chance series

six: hold me like a grudge

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qz!Joel Miller x f!reader

Words: 2.6k

Summary: After a tense situation, you reunite with Ellie and Joel.

Warnings: dub-con due to power imbalance, free use, sex as payment, vaginal sex, cum eating, Joel is mean/bad with feelings, this is not canon compliant, no use of y/n, degradation, canon-typical violence and danger, description of injury, spanking, pussy spanking, rough oral (m receiving)

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

When the grass outside rustles underfoot, you flinch. You’ve been there for a while, long enough that the adrenaline started to seep out and leave you shaking in its wake.

The only reason you don’t shoot when you see a shadow is that Ellie takes the risk of speaking first.

“Hey, is that you?”

It’s so quiet, so careful. A sick part of you wants to stay silent, to hope they leave. But you’re forced to reckon with Joel’s evaluation of you: you’d never survive out here on your own. Probably wouldn’t even make it back to Boston, and then what? Get shot by FEDRA trying to get back in?

“Ellie?” you whisper back.

“Hey, Joel!” Ellie starts to yell, stopping when you shush her loudly from the garage.

You move, stepping closer to the frame where you can see her before moving into the light. She throws her arms around you, and you freeze, holding the gun pointed to the grass, too afraid to move.

“I know he’s an asshole, but don’t do that again,” she scolds, brow furrowed.

You’re thrown off guard but feel a rush of affection for the girl. “Sorry,” you say.

Joel comes out of the house from the back door and glowers at the two of you. “Inside,” he barks.

You follow behind Ellie as she rolls her eyes and prattles on about a large stick and what he should do with it.

He shuts the door behind you, clearly having scoped out the whole house before Ellie found you. He turns to her. “Upstairs.”

“What?”

“Upstairs, now,” he snarls.

She goes to protest but catches your eye.

“Please,” you say. You don’t want her to witness whatever he’s about to say to you.

When she’s gone, he rounds on you. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

You stare at the floor, lips twisted as you fight the urge to lash out.

He lifts your chin with his hand. “Huh? You listening to me?” He huffs out a laugh. “Clearly not, or we wouldn’t be here right now. We got one fuckin’ rule, do you remember?”

When you still don’t answer, he shakes your chin a little, jostling your jaw and drawing your glare to him.

“Well?” he says.

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

“Do as I’m fuckin’ told,” you mimic his drawl, poorly.

This wasn’t your first time out. After that night, when he fought with Tess, he dragged you with them on a supply run. It was fairly standard shit. Before you left the QZ, he had armed you—for appearances only, he reiterated, don’t touch those unless you’re gonna be ready to use them—and then told you the rule.

And you listened. Same shit, different place. He said drop, you’d drop. He said run, you’d run. Mostly, you just kept a nice resting bitch face in place so their contacts wouldn’t know you were an easy target.

“What am I gonna do with you, huh?” he says, still holding your face in place. He tugs the revolver from your other hand, not that you resist, and shoves it in his waistband.

“Just leave me here.”

“Shut up.”

“You asked me a question.”

“Yeah, and I expected a real answer, not a stupid one.”

You move to kneel, but he grabs you.

“Not a bad idea, sweetheart, but you gotta watch that ankle.”

The thought gives him pause, and you watch apprehensively as he considers things.

“We’re staying here today. You’re gonna rest that fuckin’ ankle, and we’ll get back on the road in the morning.”

Ellie is thrilled to discover you’ll be taking the day off in a place with real beds. She finds some old sudoku books and pencils and hangs out in “her” room.

True to his word, Joel makes you stay in bed all day. Your foot is propped up on a stack of pillows. You sulk, but he brings you a couple of books to choose from, a bottle of water, and some cold soup, just like getting sick back in the old days.

Actually, it’s a little too much like the old days. It makes you want to run. Instead, you let the historical nonfiction novels lull you in and out of a hazy sleep.

He comes to get you after nightfall. Ellie’s sound asleep, and he brings you into the room he had staked claim to.

“You ready to say sorry?”

“I’m sorry, Joel,” you mumble.

“What were you thinking?” He asks again. He’s softened since this morning, to your great relief.

“I’m tired of being your burden.”

“Is this ‘cause I don’t get to fuck you?”

“No. I mean, sort of. It’s bad enough that I can’t pay you out here. But then to be a risk, to create more trouble than just being a mouth to feed…”

He’s quiet for a minute. “Lay down on your back. Head over here,” he gestures to the end of the mattress.

The abrupt change is exhausting, but you do as you’re told. Once you’re lying there, head draped off the edge of the bed, he reaches down and takes his cock out. He has to bend his knees a little, being just tall enough over average to not quite fit together, but he slides into your mouth.

It’s so easy this way for him to press right into your throat.

You try to pour out your excess emotions, the residual fear, the relief, everything by finding purpose through his dick, but he pulls out when you try to get a hold of him.

“Not this time, sweetheart. You want me to take what ya owe me? Fine. I’m gonna use your throat as a fuckin cocksleeve.”

The words shouldn’t please you, but they do. The catharsis of the relief, the elation at being useful, and his touch all send you trembling.

“You better not cum,” he warns. “Not until I’m fillin’ ya up.”

You want to argue that he’s already filling you up, but a) he’s absolutely not in the mood, and b) well, he’s filling you up, so you can’t really speak.

Instead, you do the only thing you really can do. You lay there and take it. He lets you curl your hands around his thighs, holding on so you don’t go scooting up the mattress during the more aggressive thrusts. It lets you stabilize your head and tilt to an angle that grants just a little more air.

It’s rough in a way he hasn’t been before, which is saying something, but it’s also transcendental. Maybe you’re being dramatic, but you’re in the fucking clouds. You’ve never felt so light, so peaceful.

He pulls out abruptly, fingers squeezing the base of his cock as he pants. It’s still so close to you, so you use his legs to push upward and try to get it back in your mouth.

He swats at your cunt. “Quit it.”

You moan, the pain turning quickly into a tingle that spreads across your lips and clit. It worked, though, and you back off, now dangling half off the bed, only supported by your palms against the thick trunks of his thighs.

He scoops you up, an arm under each of yours, and pushes you back up on the mattress. “Hands ‘n knees,” he says.

You’re still feeling a little weird, so when you’ve gotten into position, you drag a pillow over and nuzzle your face down into it, arms threaded under it to hold it against you.

“You’re all cockdumb now, huh?” His hand traces over your lower back. You moan, a quiet, rumbly thing, and press back toward him.

He smacks your ass. “Hold still, pretty girl. Let me open you up.”

You don’t do more than drool and moan as he works his fingers into you, stretching you to ease his passage. His other hand stays on your lower back like a brand, an anchor. When he pulls his fingers out, he licks them clean before guiding his cock to where you’re dripping and aching for him.

He pushes in slowly, and you arch your back under his broad palm. He pushes you back down against the bed, hand settling between your shoulder blades and another wrapped in your hair.

“Stupid girl,” he grumbles. “Foolish little brat.”

Tears well up. It’s so much. Everywhere he touches you is past ignition, already licked clean by his flame, ash smoldering in the wake.

“Quiet,” he hisses, and you realize the soft little sounds permeating your dream were your moans and gasps. You bite your lip hard, face screwing up at the pain, but it works.

He doesn’t like that, though. He lets go of your hair and sighs, pulling out just to roll you onto your back before plunging back in and picking up the pace to take you apart. He pushes his thumb into your mouth, groaning as your teeth sink into the dry and calloused flesh, tethering you to the earth.

The sound of his hips slapping against you should be a bigger concern, but that would mean stopping or slowing down, and he doesn’t see that as an option. Instead, he watches as your blank eyes blink up at him, wet and wide, and your lips wrapped around his thumb.

“Christ. You really just need your holes filled, and suddenly, ya know how to be good. Fuckin’ slut.”

“Your fault,” you choke out, the words slammed out of you by his aggressive pounding. “Wasn’t—b-before.”

You wish you hadn’t said anything when he laughs again, dark and pleased with himself.

“Yeah, you’re right. Only a fuckin’ whore for me now, huh?”

Finally, finally, he touches you when he’s getting close, tugging the thumb from your mouth to rub the wet pad of it against your clit.

“You ready, sweetheart? Gonna cum on my cock, make me feel good?”

You whimper, nodding. “Yes, Joel, please.”

He works you to it until you break down, clenching around him so tight. He has to make himself pull out, his sex-addled brain screaming for him to bury himself deep in you. Instead, he covers your stomach.

You’re shaking through the aftershocks of your orgasm, and he rubs at your clit until you give him another one. It’s easy, you fall right apart, and then you’re practically limp, breasts heaving with the effort to breathe steadily.

He swipes a finger through his mess and brings it up to your mouth. You suck it clean, and he does it again until he’s fed you most of it. You take it each time, sucking and licking his finger, and watching him with wide eyes.

“You’re so fuckin’ sweet like this. Why can’t you just listen this good all the time?” It’s said softly, fondly, but it cuts you deep. He stands up, stretches, and leaves the room without another word.

You start to cry, burying your face in the pillow and holding your breath so he doesn’t hear. You’ve gotten good at this, over the decades, of choking down your weakness and swallowing it whole, letting it rip you up inside rather than out, so by the time he’s come back in the room, you’ve quieted.

You rub away any lingering tears with sleepy fists and a yawn.

“You think you can sleep with your ankle propped up?” he says when he crosses the room.

You nod, one fist still over your left eye, which won’t stop stinging, and sling your legs over the side of the bed, sitting up.

He catches your shoulder. “You’re stayin’ right here. Lay down, and I’ll set it up.”

Slowly, you settle back onto the bed. He must really not want you to walk on it if he’s going to trade rooms. Maybe the injury was worse than you thought.

The rest of his cum has dried, leaving a tacky residue on your stomach. He doesn’t wipe it clean, though; he never does anymore. Not worth wasting the water over, you think.

That’s what he tells himself, too.

The gentle hands you remember from so long ago have returned, delicately arranging pillows under your leg. You twist your top half to thank him, only to find him pulling back the blanket to slide into bed beside you.

It’s fully dark, now, when he presses a kiss into your hair and settles on his back beside you. Even through both of your shirts, you can feel the warmth of him where your back presses to him. He doesn’t hold you, but the closeness is enough to let you drift off to sleep.

The sun breaks through the bedroom windows before the birdsong wakes you. Joel is already awake when you roll over. This time, he does sneak his arm beneath you, pulling you to his chest.

You can’t breathe, too afraid the movement will fully wake him up. He’s never, not once, given you this much of him. You idly wish he hadn’t, because how were you supposed to live without it now?

“This is a nice quilt,” he says, shattering the silence before you work yourself into a panic. “Shame we gotta leave it here.”

“You get the stuff, and I’ll make you one when we get back.” Your voice is muffled in his shirt, too tense to pull away and properly look at him.

“Didn’t know you could sew.”

“I’m a woman of many talents, Miller. Sucking cock, basic sewing, annoying the hell outta you…” Aw, fuck. End of list. Oh well.

He chuckles, and you hate the way you can never tell if he’s laughing at your joke or laughing at you.

You fall back into quiet again, and when you think he might have dozed back off, you relax a little, letting your head find a home in the hollow where his arm meets his chest. “I’m sorry,” you whisper to his t-shirt.

“I know, sweetheart. Look, when we get home, if you want to leave, I won’t stop ya. But not out here. Not like this.”

“M’not leaving. I got a quilt to make, remember?”

He leans down and kisses the top of your head, resting that way for a moment with you drawn close.

Of course, the peace doesn’t last. Ellie bursts through the door, boundless energy as always, sending your already-racing heart into overdrive.

“—room is empty; what did you say to her? Couldn’t you just have been nice?”

Joel waits, staring at her blankly. You, however, have buried your face in his side. You’re both fully dressed, and there’s no evidence of anything, but you know she’s not stupid.

“Oh, ew, god, come on! What the fuck is wrong with you?” She’s backing out, pulling the door behind her, but her disgust carries down the hall.

Joel tilts your chin up with a curled finger. “At least we know she didn’t hear any of the other times I fucked ya.”

Your cheeks are on fire, and you can’t look him in the eye.

“It’s not like she walked in on us,” he teases.

“She’s never going to talk to us again,” you groan.

“She’ll get over it. If not, you can give her the talk.”

“Oh no. No, you can handle that.”

“Let’s let the Fireflies handle that,” he decides, scrubbing at his beard with one hand. He gets up, groaning. “Should make it to Bill’s today, even if we go slow.”

“Joel—”

“I know you’re not about to argue with me, right?”

Your mouth twists into a scowl, but you soften when you look up at him. The sun through the window is bathing him in yellow, and his brown eyes trip up your heart like they always do.

“No,” you say with a sigh. “I’ll follow you.”

He stops you before you leave the room, two fingers under your chin. “When we get to Bill’s, I’ll help you add another thing to that skillset of yours.”

“What?”

He hands you back the revolver you had stolen from the garage skeleton. “I’ll teach ya how to shoot.”

next chapter

*title from "Hold Me Like a Grudge" by Fall Out Boy

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #joel miller x female oc #joel miller x f!reader #the last of us fic #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #you know you never stood a chance series

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chalkrevelations · 10 months

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There are things I say to my partner in the privacy of our living room when I’m blowing off steam that I would never in my life say to friends or other family members or bosses or work colleagues or fellow community members. I do this not because I’m two-faced but because I’m human. I get frustrated, but I’m also a grownup who realizes that my frustrations and fears in that moment are not the entirety of who I am. I have a right to express them, but I do not have the right to inflict them on the people who would be hurt by them. That’s why those conversations happen in private, in a safe space of trust, where my relationship allows me to show my partner parts of me that aren’t perfect and allows my partner to show me that I don’t have to be perfect in order to deserve to be cared about. I get support through my petty moments until I can be a better person.

This latest attack on Build is a horrifying violation of privacy and trust that leaves me feeling literally nauseated. I once again reiterate that I don’t trust third-hand amateur fan translation to be accurate and contextual, particularly given the provenance of the material, but Build himself is apparently distressed enough by at least some part of the material to make a public apology. So, that being out there, I will say: This was a private matter that should have stayed private, out of respect for everyone involved. Whatever was actually said is nobody’s business except Build’s and now, unfortunately, any named individuals who this was inflicted on and who may have been hurt by it. Which, rest assured, was the intention - to hurt not only Build with this, but also, particularly, Apo and Bible, both of whom Poi has shown her dislike of and ill-will toward in the past. I suspect some people also don’t know how abuse works, and it shows, given that what was purportedly said is a reflection of Poi’s own views back at her.

Whatever the context, I see that purity cancel culture still insists on freezing people in amber in their worst moments - without recognition of any capacity for change or growth - as long as it provides ammunition for a smug, gleeful Particicution. You’re stuck on some unkind things Build supposedly said more than a year ago? Let me tell you what I’ll remember for the rest of my life: The small, broken sound of Build’s voice just a few months ago as he tried to protect Bible and Bible’s career from a sociopath, in a telephone call that he felt he needed to secretly record as evidence of how he was being manipulated and abused.

Meanwhile, I see that swathes of KP fandom continue to be complicit in Poi’s campaign of public and dehumanizing abuse of him, which now includes not only borderline revenge porn, but separating him from his friends and isolating him. This is what abuse looks like. It’s happening in front of your eyes. Do you even care? Do you actually, legitimately care about abuse, or is it just a tool for you to use to win petty shipwars and make yourself feel righteous? Because here it is. Take a good look. This is a textbook play. And if you’re participating in reposting those screenshots of private conversations and mocking Build’s relationships and spreading vituperative language about him and acting like he deserves to have his life and career destroyed, you’re enabling an abuser. You are aiding and abetting her, as the very scenario she threatened him with - in order to maintain access to him, to keep him under control and compliant - continues to get spun out. YOU are a bully and a hypocrite and an abuser, helping to prove that the most dangerous time for an abuse victim is when they leave.

But I guess some victims do have to be perfect, huh?

(ETA: 7/18/23, 1520 - This post is being linked on Twitter by @cherryluminary with my permission. I'm not over there, but I increasingly feel like it's important to name what's happened, and continues to happen, to Build online as what it is - abuse. Similar to to my last post that breached containment, I'm going to ask people to remember that the behavior of Build's fans reflects on him - however fair that may or may not be - and should remain above reproach. I understand being angry - I'm angry, and at more people than I've discussed publicly, at this point. But if I find out you've been descending anywhere near the level of the ugly little sociopath in my inbox who openly admitted they want Build to kill himself, I'll block you.)

#build jakapan #do NOT show your ass in my inbox or anonymous will be turned off

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galedekarios · 5 months

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idk if u posted anything about this before but im really curious what you think about an elf tav with gale.

specifically, what ive been rotation in my mind is what romanced gale says if you use speak with dead on him: that he'll be waiting for you.

but what about an elf tav who still has centuries left to live, who expresses their worry that long after gale's death, whenever that may be, they might find someone to love just as much as they love gale now? would he still wait for them? would it instead motivate him even more to ascend to godhood? would he search for a different method to become immortal/ extend his life span in his good ending so they could grow old together? or would he tell tav that they deserve to live life to the fullest and find love again? and if so would he actually mean it?

i can't really tell what would be more in character for him towards the end of the game so here i am asking you, dear gale expert :)))

thank you for your message, anon. <3

i haven't talked about it on my blog yet, no, but i have thought a lot about it since my main oc altonaufein is a drow, who could live to be several centuries old.

i think what's important to keep in mind with gale is that while he may be human - humans, who of course have a general life expectancy that's considerably less than a drow's might be - he is also a wizard and a powerful one at that. he was an archwizard.

not only are there several spells that extend life in the dnd universe (clone, for instance), but there also endings in which gale regains mystra's favour by returning the crown, either as her chosen, or as someone who carries her blessing.

that status too is something that would extend his lifespan to far longer than what a normal human's lifespan is.

i think we have a good example of that in the game itself with elminster, also a human, who the game tells us is 1300 years old at the time we meet him in the game.

so i'm happy to say that lifespan angst is something that doesn't necessarily need to be an issue with gale and a drow or elf protag, and i think it's likely something that gale would do.

(sort of related: in a conversation with elminster (act ii when he delivers mystra's instructions), there's a devnote saying that gale doesn't expect to grow quite as old as elminster, and the only reason for that is the dangerous life he leads right now. so i do think if the danger had passed, it might be a different topic.)

however, if you are asking me on the principle of the thing if gale would mean it if he said that it's alright for the protag to move on if there was an extreme lifespan disparity with no way to overcome it, my answer would always be yes.

gale never once holds it against the protag in any shape, way or form if they have turned him down respectfully and found a new love, even within the timespan of the events of the game. that is even further reiterated by the devnotes to these specific lines you get from him in this case, which are variations of "sincere/heartfelt/happy for you/etc."

the same wish is reflected in the variations of his epilogues in which he dies. gale's spectre, his letters, all tell the protag one thing: that he wants them to be happy.

also while gale is romantic, he's also pragmatic. if there truly was no way to overcome this, he wouldn't want the protag to grieve for him for centuries/never move on.

so yes. he would mean it.

but like i said, thankfully, the lifespan issue isn't really an issue in this case.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x tav #tav x gale #otp: a soul that steels my own #ch: gale dekarios #ch: altonaufein #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #text: asks #meta: mybg3

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kess-in-the-perthchimzone · 8 months

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A DEEP dive on the extra Dangerous Romance media

I just did a rewatch of all the extra Dangerous Romance media (which currently stands at five videos -- end credits, music videos, and trailers). In the process, I realized we've now seen a kind of shocking amount of the footage (I'd guess 80%? Something like that). Which makes me take special stock of everything else, as it could very believably be happening in the next couple of episodes.

So, pulling together some observations, questions, and other unhinged thoughts organized by broad themes about what we know is left:

Open House

Starting with this since we know it's next week. This episode seems like it's going to be full of shenanigans. Leaving aside everything we saw in the trailer (Pimfah teasing them, Sailom agonizing over what to wear, CPR, drawing each other, Sailom stuffing lettuce in Kang's face, another prolonged BL pause) we also get --

Attaching locks together! Kang's hand up top! Look at Sailom's smile!

Sports Day

Another day we know is coming up. This one looks sooo cute, as do they in those fresh polos.

We see both Kang making some kind of delivery to Guy/Auto/Sailom and then Kang passing some kind of note to Sailom with a very 'only two people in a crowded room' vibe.

Football Games

There seem to be two significant football games (it physically pains me not to write soccer) based on uniforms (maybe one is part of Sports Day and Kang gets roped in to play? Uncertain).

During one (lighter uniforms) -- Kang makes a penalty kick. Almost all the friends are in the stands together!

The second, darker uniform game, Kang also does something hot to dodge a defender to score, and the friends are together again. Interesting note that a much larger crowd seems to be at this game.

And Kang DTRs! The way he words this makes it sound at least to me that they have talked about potentially being boyfriends before this (see more commentary on this below). It also seems very likely that the answer is yes:

Market Adventure

I am so excited for this one!! I was going to say I can't begin to speculate what's happening here, but that's a lie because my guess is it's shopping for Sports Day. We get the bus fall and utterly whipped (feverish?) Kang stare! A cute casual lunch date! The return of casual clothes Kang! Kang fainting and Sailom protectively cradling him in his arms! Kang completely out of his element seeing what the real world is like!

The Return of Escorting

Much has already been said about this. Reiterating that I am firmly in the camp that this may spell the (temporary) end of this honeymoon period we're about to be living in and also that I am scared to see the return of angry, bully Kang, which will have been a long time coming by that point. However, I have one genuinely new observation to add that I don't think I've seen anywhere else!

Sailom's shirt is SIGNIFICANTLY more open when Kang pushes him onto the bed. I want to know how that happened. Did the buttons get ripped off? WHO ripped or undid them? I would pay real money for it to have been creepy old man and that to partially be what Kang is reacting to.

They Cute

I have no real observations here except kisses!! I like that it's Sailom who does the kissing in the upper right. Also for a rich boi Kang loves that black ripped tank which I appreciate because I love him wearing it.

(I had to delete a photo where he was also wearing it and they were basically holding hands over Kang's laptop while Kang pretended to wipe something on Sailom's face. Both cute and disgusting. Disgustingly cute.).

Romantic Rides

I really love the idea of them taking romantic rides together as dates. Not pictured but should also count is the red sweater Kang "would you still like me if I didn't have money" ride to the windmills.

Also as several people have pointed out, the late night kissing ride seems to be the same night as the happy money throwing scene.

And then they were roommates

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS IN THIS CATEGORY

What are they talking about?? Why are they in bed together? Is this before or after they start dating? How can Sailom look so convincingly nonplussed with Kang making those eyes at him??

Is this another breakup era pining type thing? Or are they standing on opposite sides of the same door but separated by other circumstances??

And WHAT is happening here?? I have so many guesses but I would be embarrassed to even put them in writing. I don't think Sailom would be the one to go blushing maiden between them, would he?? So is something else supposed to be happening? Is Kang trying to coax him into the shower together and Sailom protesting because Grandma is home? Seriously, please share your guesses.

Other Misc

Finally a small selection of random things.

First, I am curious about this handholding but also this dialogue:

This is Sailom speaking here. Whereas in a different voiceover Kang asks "What's our deal?" and then later if Sailom will be his boyfriend. So including the soccer hug scene that seems like four different times one of them tries to figure out what's up between them. They eventually stop being so dumb!

I am really excited for this particular scene because I think it's sweet that when(?) Sailom is living with Kang they still wind up studying at Sailom's house.

Last but not least, I have ZERO guesses here. Is this a bar?? This sure doesn't seem like English practice. Why does Sailom seem so unhappy?

((Also not included, some of the big obvious moments that have been wildly speculated about like Sailom getting shot at, Kang rescuing him on his bike, Sailom's brother's arrest, and the shower crying scene, all of which are going to be glorious.))

Please share your thoughts and guesses about any of the above!!

#dangerous romance #dangerous romance the series #kanghansailom #kanghan kirttin sukprasert #kanghan krittin #sailom homchan #meta meta meta #kess babbles about dangerous romance

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arsene-fixates · 4 months

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The Informant, Family and his Insecurity Pt 1

i don’t know if titling this already gives some implication to the spoiler but um i can’t think of what else to title this ALSO IT'S A LITTLE BIT LONG

he’s the most interesting character to me ever

Part 2 here!

spoilers under the cut ^_^

I find it really fascinating that when he called to talk to me at the tower to confess about the werewolf curse that he has, he implied that he misses them very much

But when it came down to him having to reveal himself to his brother, he seemed really detached about it, almost as if he didn’t want to

the mayor is always the one being forward in his approaches to get information out of him for his disappearance and to meet up with him later

The way he was more focused on getting his brother back to the city, the way he wasn’t focused on reconnecting

It could be because he still views himself as a monster and doesn’t want to put him in harms way if he ever turns into one again now that he’s revealed himself

he still explains himself though, the mayor deserves at least that bit of closure as to why

but i like to think that as much as he misses his family, he wouldn’t want to return to being close to the mayor

because 1. the werewolf curse and 2. he’s taken this path of being the informant and he’s definitely changed as a person, he can’t go back to being the brother the mayor once knew.

to me, he likes the idea of belonging somewhere (desperation as part of losing his humanity) and having his own people, aka. the agents. They’re the closest thing he has to a family which works out for him since he doesn’t want to put his real family in danger

Gonna go on a little tangent about the way he phrases things

Just something about how he never felt the need to reiterate the fact that he is his brother even though i know the mayor already calls him that in the first frame

He lets the mayor and his last name do the implication for him

and he does it again when he brings up the implication but never Outright saying “yes, i am the werewolf”

also i know informant calls the mayor ‘brother’ in the third frame but i think it would have made it more profound if he called him by his name ^_^

Unlike when he was confessing it to me at the tower

Something about Him being afraid of the mayor’s reaction or like, him wanting to distance himself from that fact , he’s awfully ashamed of it

he could have easily implied it as well with “you know the werewolf you’ve been chasing? you’re looking right at it”

i know he only didn’t say those things again because someone said it prior but i like how roundabout he is with saying it — admitting it without really admitting it

In my head I like to think that he said it once at the tower but didn’t like how it felt once he said it that’s why he only implied it to the mayor

He finds it hard to admit the werewolf aspect of himself, he’s ashamed of it, scared of how the mayor might react to it — and uses misdirected language to imply but not to outright say it because saying it out loud is so much harder for him, finding it better for people to figure it out themselves

#the informant #seekers notes #Informant Under A Microscope

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dragonworshippersblog · 3 months

Note

Team Green here (in the sense that I love the Greens character yk) Well rhaenyra did suggest to torture Aemond after the eye incident. It was a protective gesture due to the possible danger of the rumors, but it shows that she can be reckless to protect what is hers even if it means to hurt her own half-brothers. And she also never did anything to suggest she would never hurt her siblings.

And yes ultimately the Greens ambitions (the thirst for power or the need to protect their family) is what doomed them. But it’s a good tragedy. Otto placed his daughter in a dangerous position and had his gran-children in dangerous positions as well, it was doomed from the start.

At least that is how I understand it !

hi anon

Rhaenyra demanded that Aemond be tortured, but it was more of a strategic move than anything else. Rhaenyra has seen people commit high treason in front of his father’s eyes (ep. 1, ep. 3, ep. 4, ep. 6) and he do absolutely nothing to punish them, she is aware that Viserys will not torture aemond, but by asking so the attention has gone from "aemond lost an eye" to "aemond has committed high treason against the princes in line to inherit the throne" + the king reiterated once again that the heir is Rhaenyra and that no one can insult her sons, not even the king’s own sons. As for the book, the situation is different. Rhaenyra demanded that Aemond be tortured only after Alicent demanded that Luke’s eye be cut, Rhaenyra wanted to be the one who silences Alicent. We do not see Rhaenyra interacting with his brothers, neither in the book nor in the show. But in the book it is clear how Alicent and her children were those who resented Rhaenyra and her children. Alicent began to antagonize her because she wanted her son on the throne and Aegon, Aemond and Daeron did the same with Jace and Luke because they saw them as responsible for the "theft" of their right to the throne. On the other hand, it is not mentioned that Rhaenyra had problems with his brothers, simply that they did not speak. If this is not necessary to prove who would have been in danger if the other person had risen to the throne, Rhaenyra after his coronation claimed that she understood that her brothers had been manipulated and said she was ready to forgive them, Aegon’s were his wish that Rhaenyra and daemon be put to death.

Now, setting ethics and morality aside, killing her brothers would not have brought Rhaenyra any benefit. Kinslayer is one of the worst crimes in Westeros, condemned by the faith of the seven, the ancient gods and the drowned god. Men state that “no man is accursed as the kinslayer'' and “the kinslayer is accursed in the eyes of gods and men”. It would not be long before Rhaenyra would face rebellions of all kinds and people would find a way to lay her down or kill her, and dragons could help but the problem would persist (look at Maegor for examples, balerion’s flame didn't stop the rebellion of the faith).

And I agree with the last part, otto condemned his daughter and his grandchildren right after her. If things had been handled differently I am sure that all this could have been avoided, “tragedy” is the word that best describes the situation.

#house of the dragon #anon

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meimi-haneoka · 1 year

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 67: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

CCS fans!! Welcome back for another episode of “CLAMP are messing with my brain and I don’t like it”, aka Clear Card Arc! 😂We’ve reached Chapter 67, can you believe… For those who still don’t know, here’s a small reminder of the most important info we found out since last chapter: At the beginning of October (formalized on October 13th) we’ve got the confirmation that Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc will end with volume 14. In a Twitter Space of last week, CLAMP revealed that volume 14 will be a bit bigger (therefore, with more pages) than volume 13, which is already bigger than the standard. They haven’t announced exactly what will be the last chapter, so all we have left to do is enjoying these last chapters of the Clear Card saga, where we’ll find all the answers we’re looking for, as Ohkawa and Nekoi themselves reassured us in the same Space. In this chapter, for example, we start getting some answers about the current situation (I’m glad to see I was right on most things 😁)

Without further ado, let’s start this analysis/translation comparison thread, cause I feel there’ll be a lot to point out.

Gif of the month! 😂

The Color Page

Chapter 67 sees on the cover the spirits of two Cards that turned out to be absolutely crucial in this climax: Sakura Card Mirror and Clear Card Mirror, in a very “ying and yang” representation. The Japanese text over it quotes the words of the Card True or False back some chapters ago:

“You’ll have to ascertain… Is it a Lie (dream)? Or the Truth (reality)?

It’s interesting to note how Clear Mirror keeps the typical hair color that’s always been associated with Mirror, while the Sakura Card Mirror got this pinkish-purpleish tint to it. Was it always like this? We are used to the colors the anime canon sets as “official”, but as the manga canon sometimes switches things around (and this is seemingly the first time we have the spirit of a Card appearing on a color page), it might be a change done to distinguish the two Cards better.

The Cards Love Syaoran

We open the chapter with Syaoran waking up to the sound of someone calling him. It’s the Sakura Card Mirror, who confirms to him they’re at the edge of the world they’re currently all in. And lol, my readers, I already have to point out a translation mistake, since it’s important to understand why Syaoran is still inside this world…

ENG: You came to...just before you were driven out.

JP: You managed to stay here without being knocked off this world because [you realized] (the deceit).

So apparently, the fact Syaoran realized the deceit behind Mirror’s disguise (thanks to the absence of the shock, courtesy of Yelan) is what allowed him to stay here. It seems clear by now that if he kept believing the one he grabbed was Sakura, he would’ve been sent flying off this world and bye bye any remote chance to bring the real Sakura back. So again, a reiteration that Yelan’s spell ended up saving her son, one way or another. I think it was particularly brilliant because, even in the chance Kaito might have noticed the spell on him, he would’ve paid no mind, as apparently it was a spell with a “negative” connotation to the kids (and so, hard for Kaito to realize it would’ve actually helped Syaoran in this way). Syaoran realizes the spell is finally broken, and therefore he realizes it was his mother’s doing all along (for those wondering how, well, I can only imagine her son knows her and her methods that much). So we also got the confirmation that there’s no more “no-touch spell” and next time Sakura and Syaoran will be able to touch without any danger!

But the surprises are not over, as Syaoran realizes he’s got Flight on his back helping him staying “afloat” in the void.

And here we go again clarifying a part that’s pretty confusing in the ENG version in my opinion, it doesn’t explain exactly what Flight did here, beside mentioning something that is incorrect canon-wise.

ENG: I am Clow’s Mirror… Even if I look just like Sakura’s. The other Mirror copied the power of the Flight Card...so it remembered me. It saved me.

JP: I, Mirror (鏡), and (the other)Mirror (鏡像) have the same appearance. (The other) Mirror (鏡像) has copied Flight’s power before, so Flight remembered it and decided to help us out.

Sooooo. First of all. I get quite irked whenever the “old” Cards still get called “Clow Cards”, since the Clow Cards don’t exist anymore. It is factually wrong to call them as such because Sakura spent the entirety of the Sakura Card Arc making them be reborn under her name. The old incantation recited “Discard your old appearance and be reborn under your new Master’s name, Sakura”, after all. The Cards have all discarded their existence as Clow Cards and became Sakura Cards so long ago. Calling Mirror “Clow’s” here adds only confusion over confusion (before understanding what was happening, I really thought some shenanigan happened that nullified Sakura’s work on the Cards and somehow a Clow Card was able to come back!! WTF). If their intent was to distinguish Mirror (old) from Mirror (new), since they have the same name and we can’t use the kanji like the Japanese readers can do, they could’ve used any other trick. Call it “the other Mirror”, call it “the new Mirror” if you can’t use “Clear Card” because basically anyone has yet to call those cards “Clear Cards”, in the story. But if you say “I look like Sakura’s Card”, I will immediately think about all the Sakura Cards that are with Syaoran now, not the Clear Cards that Sakura is creating.

After this premise to point out that confusing mistake, this is what happened as I understood it: Flight and (Sakura)Mirror are from 2 different decks, so in theory they shouldn’t know eachother. But Sakura used the Mirror from the Clear deck on Flight before, so it is acquaintaned with that Card. Flight, seeing (Sakura)Mirror in that World, recognized her as having the same appearance as the Mirror from its own deck, made 2+2 (“this must be the Card our Master created Mirror from, since we’re all coming from her past experiences”) and decided to help her by preventing Syaoran to fall after passing out.

As we have all seen extensively throughout the series, Mirror confirms Flight loves Sakura very much, and apparently it loves Syaoran too, since Sakura means so much to him. Flight was also part of that special moment in the sky back in chapter 23, so it’s only normal it has come to know what’s really in Syaoran’s heart. Syaoran is very moved by all this trust in him and pats Flight in a very sweet way. I found this as a “convoluted” but probably necessary explanation as to why Flight would collaborate with Mirror to save Syaoran, despite supposedly not being acquainted with eachother. And then, Mirror apologizes profusely for deceiving Syaoran like that. If you pay attention, we reached a panel with Kaito, so do you think we escaped a translation mistake? Of course not, in fact: (yessir, I’ll call this ‘mistake’ because I’m tired to see him called as what NO one has ever called him in the series, perpetrating this misconception)

ENG: I let that man use me...to deceive you. JP: I let someone else use me to deceive you…

Yes, I am beyond done with the use of “that man” in relation to Kaito. Mirror here uses “someone else”. Besides, the ひと (hito) in 別のひと is written in hiragana. You might have heard me say this before, but apparently the use of hiragana instead of the kanji version for “hito” 人 represents warmth, a lack of animosity toward the person you’re talking about. When Syaoran talks about Kaito, he uses the same pattern. It’s not exclusive to them, as Kaito himself has used two different “ano hito” in relation to other people: with kanji (cold and detached) when talking about the Squids, and in hiragana (warm) when talking about Lilie. I saw my Japanese mutuals discussing about it more than once before, and I noticed it is a thing inside the story. So that “that man” that gives away so much bitterness is not only incorrect on a translation level, but also on an interpretation level. But, alas, we always have to make Kaito look worse than he is, right?(and I don’t think this chapter needed it, as he’s already behaving in the way he’s behaving. It’s like adding fuel to the fire).

Rant aside (it’s not over as there’ll be another instance shortly ahead), Syaoran reassured Mirror it’s not her fault, but rather his responsability for still being inexperienced. He goes to check for the Sakura Cards and….they’re not there in his pocket! Alas, Mirror confirms that the only Sakura Card allowed into this world is her, because Kaito brought her in. Again, we have the ENG translation using “that man”, but here in JP Mirror uses “the magician” instead (another name the people on Sakura’s team use very often to refer to Kaito). Mirror says that the new Cards that Sakura has been making are in this World too, but not all of them might move in Sakura’s interest like Flight did (“moving for her” rather than “answer to her”, as the ENG decided to translate it). We see an example of Shade, which has indeed moved in Kaito’s interest by destroying the scene with Tomoyo/Repair and bringing him and Sakura to the Red Queen, just like I had pointed out last time. Syaoran at this point doesn’t even know if his magic will work at all in this world, but he decides he has to carry on anyway, and Mirror pleads him to take her with him. Flight is absolutely wanting to be a part of this too, and Syaoran officially starts the “let’s go to Sakura” rescue operation!

All My Memories are Here

Right, where did we leave our “Sakura” last time? Alice is in the presence of the Red Queen, and as soon as she sees her, she’s about to shout her real name! It seems Sakura was about to recognize Akiho, but a strong headache messes with her head and she loses that glimpse of memory she was about to regain. The Cat, with a stern expression behind her, reminds her that she’s Alice, and so she introduces herself once again to the Red Queen. Again, Alice starts asking questions upon seeing the two people on the sides of the room. The Cat explains they are “The one who loves with kindness” and “The one who decides”. Interesting the choice in the ENG version where they translated 慈しむ者 with “the one who brings comforts”, as the verb 慈しむ expresses a very tender kind of love and affection (typical of parents for children). That same kanji is also present in the kanji name of the Kindness Card, so I would’ve appreciated the effort to include that nuance more. Alice, as she’s always been doing ever since she stepped foot into this World (guys, Sakura’s intuition is just that crazy good), asks the Cat: “For the Red Queen?” The Cat doesn’t answer (as usual), but his expression is once again very pensive. All these pressuring questions about the Queen...are pricking him where it’s needed to? We’ll see. The Red Queen welcomes Alice and, using the Transfer Card, teleports to Sakura, offering to be her guide throughout the castle. Another translation mistake: The Queen doesn’t say “take my hand” (do you actually see Alice taking the Queen’s hand, afterwards? Nope, indeed), but actually “touch it”, referring to Transfer’s target symbol. I want to remind you that Transfer was the one Card that Kaito commented “A pity. We were almost there” on. Transfer went very close, maybe even closer than the much more famous Rewind, to the Card Kaito wanted. We western fans don’t have much knowledge of it because the ENG translation back then translated his comment as just “oh well”. Back to us, Alice and the Red Queen get transported outside the Castle, to a place we have seen before….hehehe. Yes, this is the infamous botanical garden (would have it k1lled them to actually spell ‘botanical garden’ so it was clearer to everyone? We haven’t seen much of it back then so it might not be immediately recognizable to everyone)

The spread, of course, is absolutely stunning, as Mokona sensei got us accustomed to in this climax. The flowers are made of glass, and the Red Queen comments, while elegantly descending the stairs, that this place is very important, because it’s where all the memories are stored. Whose memories?, asks Alice, and the Queen cryptically answers “Someone’s”. Alice asks her if her memories are here too, to which the Queen replies affirmatively. Hence, I have to infer, the first person she was referring to wasn’t herself. Reflected in the big crystals, in the meantime, we see glimpses of the botanical garden we saw back in chapter 53.

Alice got the feeling she already knows this place.

ENG: Something tells me I’ve been here before...with someone very special to me. And I met someone very dear to me...and someone very dear to them. JP: I have the feeling I already know this “botanical garden”. I went there together with someone very special to me. Once there, I met someone very dear to me...along with that someone’s special person.

Cinzia, why being so nitpicky? Isn’t the meaning the same? No, it isn’t. Ohkawa tried to do something very clear here, and the way they translated it buried it under the sand. I just hope it’s carelessness and not a deliberate attempt at muddling something in the light of the finale. Basically, when Sakura was speaking, she made very clear the level of feelings between the two pairs, by using 2 distinctive adjectives: 特別なひと ("special person") to indicate the person Sakura is in love with

大切なひと ("important person") to indicate the feelings of someone being very dear to her

Sakura used "special person" to indicate Syaoran, but she used it ALSO when talking about Akiho's special person, Kaito. When talking about Akiho, instead, she used "important person". It was very very clear Ohkawa's intent here. "Kaito is to Akiho what Syaoran is to Sakura". Parallelism and such. So using “important person” in this context threw that subtle but important parallelism out of the window and watered down Akiho’s feelings as just the same level of friendship there is between her and Sakura. You should know by now that I wouldn’t tolerate that. 😂

Moving on (phew, so long), the two girls change location again. But we immediately realize the Cat was watching them from a distanced location and didn’t follow them suit. A voice starts talking…..and with absolute joy (from me) we realize it’s actually MOMO!! We only hear her voice and we don’t actually see her, but she tells him “Move them around, interfere with them, it’s all useless. This world, after all, is made by all the memories of Akiho, the one who calls me Momo and named this book ‘Alice in Clockland’...the memories of the girl who’s lost right now...and YOURS too, the one who activated the magic using this book” Basically here Momo is reprimanding Kaito because these little places made of memories that will “trigger” Sakura’s own memories will keep popping up, no matter how much he interferes, tries to steer Sakura’s attention or drags her away. So here we find out that not only Kaito’s subconscious is intertwined with this world, but Sakura’s and Akiho’s memories too. In that regard, we could say the rose garden appearing in last chapter might have been coming also from Akiho’s memories, in addition to Kaito’s. One curious thing I have to point out regarding the botanical garden is that, in theory, the two girls aren’t supposed to remember about it. Cause Kaito rewound the events of the botanical garden. While we might argue that Sakura, due to her powers, might have traces of these memories hidden down her subconscious, I still wonder if once again the place popped up from Kaito’s memories. After all, he’s the only one with clear memories of it and this was the place where Akiho went out of her way to invite him to. It must mean something to him too.

And here we basically get the confirmation of the thing I’ve been quite sure about since a couple of chapters ago, that is…..behind the Cat, there’s actually Kaito in disguise!!😂😂This rascal!! 😂 I mean, last chapter with some reactions of his he really let himself be caught, though 😝 Kaito answers to Momo that he’s been lucky the role of the Cat called for a calm and detached demeanor, and here Momo’s answers made me crack up big time!! 😂 “It would’ve been so much funnier if you had to play a spoiled brat….or a silly role” Kaito answers, with his usual demeanor between defiance and deference “I would’ve made an effort as far as possible” 😂😂😂NOW I want to see spoiled brat Kaito...no, wait...he already is one 😂

We find out from Momo that he used the Clear Mirror Card (note: Momo doesn’t say he stole that too, only that he used it…) to take the appearance of the next head of the Li family, but… Momo: “You can’t hide” Kaito: “What, my wickedness?” ( the JP didn’t use exactly “cruelty”) Momo: “No, your true nature” (I think the use of ‘nature’ here is important. It implies it’s the very opposite of “wicked”).

This is, I believe, a remark that pricked Kaito where he’s most vulnerable, as he gets up and he doesn’t even let Momo finish what she’s saying (something about even a little spell possibly doing damages to him, in the state he’s in right now?), stating he must be back to Alice’s side, as his role requires. We get the last confirmation that we’re currently inside Momo’s book, under the effect of a spell, and that the story is inexorably going towards “the beginning of the end”.

Back to the “outside world”, to Yukito & company, we see his barrier starting to deteriorate. Yukito is very tired and so is Touya. To avoid the spell from breaking, Yue talks to his “other self” and tells him:

JP: “Let’s swap. You and me are the same being, so I can keep this spell alive” "Ah, that's right. There's still my other's self power left" I've put the JP version here because that “traces” used by the ENG version might trick some people into getting a wrong interpretation, that is, that Yue was supposedly gone but there were actually still traces of him inside Yukito. None of this is really suggested in the JP version and the Spanish translation actually suggest Yukito was simply forgetting he could count on Yue as well. And so, Yue takes over and asks Nakuru to turn into Ruby Moon and act as a “battery”, to boost Yukito’s magic spell together...I found this a beautiful moment of collaboration and friendship beyween the two guardians!! They’ve come such a long way!! 🥲

The chapter ends with a BOOM: Yue threatens Syaoran to punch him if he doesn’t make it unscathed, and Touya agrees, saying “Hurry up and come back along with her...SYAORAN LI”.

GUYS GUYS TOUYA KINOMOTO CALLED SYAORAN WITH HIS FULL NAME 😂😂😂 Can you hear the wedding bells in the distance??? 😂This is like the “Big Brother” approval mark 😂

In this general climate of putting aside the differences, the animosity, to embrace others, I can’t help but yearning to see this climate extended to all the characters of Clear Card. I know this is what CCS is about, so I’ll just keep having faith and wait for that moment. It'll be a beautiful moment, I'm sure.

I have to run to bed but I wanted to get this thing out as soon as possible due to all the confusing things, so for now I'll just leave it here and as usual I'm available for more comments and theories in asks or comments! A quick reminder of the dates for the next chapter, chapter 68 (we're so close!!): November 28th, on Bookwalker/Azuki (digital, ENG) November 29th, on Clamp-fans (digital, JP and other languages) December 1st, on Comic-days (digital, JP ) and Nakayoshi (paper and digital, JP)

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #ccsakura #clear card arc #ccs spoilers #translation differences #chapter 67 #sakura card captor #sakura kinomoto #akiho shinomoto #yuna d. kaito #syaoran li #...my sis will scold me tomorrow

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anonymousewrites · 1 year

Text

Adolescent Antichrist (Book 2) Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen: I'd Rather Play Frankenstein

“I must apologize,” said Lucifer from where he was still laying on the couch with (Y/N).

“No need,” murmured (Y/N), comfortable in his embrace. “I might think you’re overreacting, but you’re allowed to wonder how involved God is with your life.”

Lucifer sighed. “I am the adult. You should not be supporting me.”

(Y/N) rolled their eyes. “We support each other, Lucifer. We’re a team.” They looked up at him. “How about you talk to the Detective?”

Lucifer frowned. “What?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “It’s not like God is mind controlling her. Try talking to her and seeing how she feels about you.”

“That’s…a fair idea,” admitted Lucifer.

“’Course it is,” said (Y/N), rolling their eyes. “I’ll come with you. Moral support and all that.” They gave a pointed look at Lucifer. “And so you don’t misconstrue anything or run away.”

Lucifer sighed. “You think so little of me.”

“Detective?” called Lucifer from outside Chloe’s house. He knocked again. “Detective?” (Y/N) fiddled with the rips in their jeans as they waited for Chloe to answer. Lucifer frowned. “The Detective is never so late. She insists on being prompt to every occasion.”

“Maybe she’s in the bathroom—” (Y/N) stopped when they heard a crash from within. “That can’t be good.”

Lucifer didn’t hesitate in kicking in the door. The pair rushed to the bathroom and pulled the door open. Chloe, blood dripping from her nose and looking unnaturally pale, lay haphazardly across the floor with a shattered glass of water next to her (the source of the noise).

“Is she…?” (Y/N) swallowed, panic rising to clench their throat shut. Air was harder to find, and they ducked out of the bathroom as Lucifer examined Chloe for a pulse.

“She’s alive,” confirmed Lucifer, pulling out his phone. “But she’s been poisoned.” As he dialed for an ambulance, he cursed. “Why did we have to kill that man…He’s behind this, and we don’t know what the cure is!”

(Y/N)’s heart clenched as they forced themself to take deep breaths. Chloe could die!

“Lucifer, this is a really dangerous idea,” said (Y/N). Normally, they’d be snarky, but now they were split between worry for Lucifer’s safety and for Chloe’s wellbeing.

“The plan is simply,” reiterated Lucifer. “Maze, Amenadiel, or Mum kills me, I go down to Hell, interrogate the professor, get the formula, and then you all bring me back. Well, come on, who’s in?”

“This is a terrible idea. I absolutely forbid it,” said Missy.

Maze nodded. “I hate to say it, but yeah, she’s right.”

“You’d be on your own,” murmured (Y/N) worriedly. Their knee bounced furiously in anxiety. Emeranne put a hand on their shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.

“Neither Maze nor I would be able to go with you as protection,” added Emeranne.

“(Y/N) made it, and they’re mortal,” pointed out Lucifer.

“That’s because Father brought them back,” said Amenadiel.

“And they didn’t go through any doors,” said Emeranne. “If you went into someone’s room, you could be trapped. Forever.”

“Well, that won’t happen, I’m the Lord of Hell,” said Lucifer confidently.

“Were the Lord of Hell,” corrected Missy. “And you’ve been gone for a very long time.”

“Lucifer…” (Y/N) spoke up again. “I want to save Chloe. I just don’t want to lose you, too.”

Lucifer put his hands on his hips and looked to the side. “What do you think?”

Poor Linda coughed uncomfortably. “I think…that I followed about half of that. (Y/N)’s been to Hell?”

(Y/N) waved a hand. “Yeah, when my uncle almost killed me.”

Amenadiel winced, reminded that he let (Uncle’s/N) out of prison. “Yes…Our Father brought them back.”

“Which then brought that lady back,” muttered Maze, gesturing at Missy. “Who then caused literally every problem since.”

“Right…” said Linda, unsure. “So…do you guys do this a lot? Like, celestial plus (Y/N) planning sessions?”

Emeranne glanced at (Y/N), obviously thinking of how they seemed less human due to their abilities, to which (Y/N) responded with a look that said “this is not the time, say anything and I find a way kill you with my bare hands.”

She got the messaged.

“Oh, apparently not. Otherwise, we would have had a meeting about carelessly revealing our true nature to humans,” said Amenadiel, glaring at Lucifer. He then looked at Linda. “Which she has apparently known about for a while and kept from me.”

“Turnabout’s fair play,” retorted Linda, and (Y/N) and Emeranne snickered. “Okay…wrapping my brain around this. Lucifer, what makes you so sure you’d go to Hell?”

“In case you’ve missed it, Doctor, I’ve been banned from Heaven,” said Lucifer. “There’s no other place for me to go.”

Not to mention, he feels guilty about things he’s done and not done. That would send him to Hell, thought (Y/N).

“And you’re sure there’s no other way to get there?” asked Linda. “I mean—I mean, dying?”

“Well, if anyone has a better suggestion, by all means, speak up now,” said Lucifer. “Quite frankly, I’d prefer to Uber there.” He looked at everyone. “Look, I’m doing this with or without you.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” said Missy. “Having spent millennia in that terrible place, I can’t be part of you going back. Not even more a moment.” She stood and walked to the elevator. “Amenadiel?” She clearly thought Amenadiel would follow her example. “Are you coming?”

Amenadiel sighed. “No, Mom, I’m gonna help. Chloe doesn’t deserve this.”

Maze rolled her eyes. “This is the craziest plan I’ve ever heard of. I’m in.”

“I’m with you, Lucifer. Chloe needs help,” said (Y/N).

Emeranne nodded. “We’ll help.”

Missy scoffed. “Doctor, surely you have some sensible advice.”

“Um, he’s the Devil,” said Linda. “Nothing’s really been sensible since I found that out.”

“I will not help you get trapped down there,” said Missy, crossing her arms. Her obstinacy was strong, but it came from a place of worry for her son, so no one could blame her for anything except for not being concerned for Chloe like the rest. “Not for some insignificant human’s life.” Missy turned on her heel and left the penthouse.

“Okay, now that party pooper’s gone, let’s get started, shall we?” said Lucifer, clapping his hands together.

Linda cleared her throat and raised a hand. “So, um, what’s my part in all this?”

“Well, you went to medical school, correct?” asked Lucifer brightly.

“Many…many, many, many years ago,” said Linda.

“Good. So you’ll be the one bringing me back from the dead,” said Lucifer. He smiled. “Now, who wants to kill me?” Both Amenadiel and Maze raised their hands.

“I’d rather play Frankenstein, but Linda gets to do that,” said (Y/N), sighing.

“Well, I see everyone made it,” said Lucifer as (Y/N) and Emeranne walked into the room they had commandeered for their plan. Lucifer was lying in bed, and Maze was hyping Linda up for her job of literally bringing Lucifer back to life.

“Em and I had to play the whole ‘my poor old grandmother is sick, and we want to cheer her up’ card, but we got here eventually,” said (Y/N).

“Watch out, Lucifer, they’re getting really good at lying,” said Emeranne.

“Alright, alright, let’s get this show on the road,” said Maze, rubbing her hands together in anticipation of getting to kill him.

“Okay.” Linda took a deep breath and unpacked a small medical bag. “Ice to slow your brain cells from dying, and painkillers to, well, kill the pain.”

“Got it covered, thanks,” said Lucifer, taking a swig from his flask.

“Okay, Maze, just like I showed you,” instructed Linda.

(Y/N) hovered nervously by Lucifer’s side, and before Maze, well, killed him, Lucifer reached out and squeezed their hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon,” said Lucifer with a grin.

Then, he let go, and Maze used the defibrators to send him straight to Hell with a bang! Emeranne stayed close to (Y/N) as they nervously rocked back and forth. They snapped their fingers quietly in an attempt to have a pattern that may lessen their anxiety.

Lucifer. Please stay safe. Please. I need you to come back. Find the professor and then come right home.

Of course, life could never be so simple for them. Lucifer acquired the formula from the professor easily, but Hell was a trap even the Devil when he was not Lord. Lucifer was drawn in the by Hell’s tricks and captured in his own room. His guilt for killing Uriel was as strong as any human’s guilt which kept them in Hell.

On Earth, all the group could see was that Lucifer was not waking up, and that worried them, (Y/N) most of all.

“Come on,” hissed (Y/N). “Come on, come on, come on.” They clenched a fist and squeezed their eyes shut, trying to ignore the constant flatline sound echoing around them. Come on, come on. Come home, Lucifer!

Below, Lucifer was desperately trying to keep from stabbing Uriel for what already felt like the millionth time.

“I don’t want this!” he cried.

“Look at you,” said Uriel, sighing. “So pitiful. Stuck in the very Hell you once ruled. Trapped by your own guilt. And while we’re pointing out how lame you are, you didn’t even follow up on that thing I told you.” Lucifer looked at him in confusion. “What I whispered in your ear before I died.”

“What?” Lucifer frowned. “ ‘The peace is here?’ I thought that was just nonsense. The final ramblings of a dying brain. Unless you’re saying you found peace in that moment, brother.”

Uriel sighed. “You know better than that. I’m all about patterns, predicting the future. My last words were a clue.”

“A clue? A clue to what?” pleaded Lucifer.

“Well, you’re the one who has to figure that out, aren’t you? After all, I’m just in your head. A manifestation of your guilt.”

And then the loop was starting again. Lucifer had a knife again. He was stabbing Uriel again. Uriel was dying again.

“I hope you didn’t leave any unfinished business up on Earth,” said Uriel. “’Cause you’re never getting out of here.”

Lucifer’s eyes widened. (Y/N). A headache came on suddenly. He could hear voices, Linda? Maze? But the clearest was (Y/N)’s, telling him to wake up. Behind him, shadows wrapped around the edges of his clothing, pulling him away from Uriel. Lucifer thought nothing of it, feeling only that Hell was messing with his mind again.

“Lucifer!” called (Y/N)’s voice.

Lucifer took a decision step back to the door of his cell. “I’m sorry, Uriel. But my…care for them, that child, is stronger than my guilt. You are my brother, and I will always love you, but I cannot leave them there.”

Lucifer summoned his strength and released himself from his cage.

Lucifer gasped as finally, his heart began to beat again. (Y/N), exhausted from their nerves and their subconscious use of their abilities, stood from where Emeranne was supporting them. They rushed to Lucifer’s side and hugged him tightly. Lucifer wordlessly passed the note with the formula to Linda and Maze to handle as he hugged (Y/N) back.

“Don’t do that again!” muttered (Y/N).

“I would never choose to leave you,” assured Lucifer. “I swear it. And I do not lie.”

Taglist:

@repostingmyfavs

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

#adolescent antichrist #lucifer tv #lucifer x reader #lucifer fic #lucifer #lucifer netflix #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x teen!reader #x teen reader #x teen!reader #gn reader #x gn reader #x nb reader #nb reader #found family trope #found family

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cistemanger · 10 months

Text

breaking down the "Debunking Sysmeds" carrd (just for kicks 😍) part 2!!

here is the carrd linked again from part 1: this carrd

to reiterate from the first post, i will be referring to the person who made the carrd as the "creator" for simplicity's sake and using they/them as i do not know their pronouns (pls let me know if you do know what pronouns i should be using!)

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THE "CLAIMS AND REBUTTALS" (continued)

the fourth point is quite hefty!! so let's get into why the creator's rebuttal of "You're not Endogenic, you just have repressed trauma" is utterly laced with fallacies.

rather than actually rebutting this idea, the creator instead refers to this as "gaslighting" and insists that it would trigger people who don't know they have trauma into unpacking their trauma when they aren't ready. i don't necessarily think this is false, in fact, i definitely agree people should address their trauma when they're ready. however, this point is literally saying that all people who are systems have trauma, whether known or unknown (thus making them traumagenic), and instead of rebutting this, the creator just calls those who say this "gaslighters" and attempts to establish a moral high ground. it's a strawman - no one is saying that learning of your trauma when you aren't in the right headspace is a good thing, they are saying that trauma is ultimately what creates systems. should the creator wish to rebut this claim, they should focus on the trauma aspect rather than moralizing the claim.

the creator also highlights their experiences with traumatic memories they weren't ready for and pseudomemories they now experience as a potentially dangerous outcome of this claim. should this prove to be common, this is still cause for concern! people with no mental illness do not develop pseudomemories of extreme trauma, and those with extreme trauma still must be concerned about it, regardless of if they are a system or not. both of these are things that need to be addressed.

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their fifth point to rebut is the statement "You're not a system, you're just RP-ing/Daydreaming". i'm not going to share my thoughts on this one because i need to develop them more succinctly and i believe they deserve their own post, but i welcome analysis of that section if anyone has any!

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the sixth point rebutted is the idea that "DID is rare, it only affects 1% of the population." i agree with the creator that this is inaccurate, as does a majority of the system community! i don't see how it affects the validity of endogenic systems, as endogenic systems aren't DID systems.

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this seventh point is just absolutely drenched in some crazy phrases that i am SO excited to unpack, and it is related to the creator combatting the idea that "You are ableist if you use the label Endogenic, and you are appropriating a trauma disorder."

the creator once again brings up the idea that systems are "dissociative disorders, not trauma disorders," which, as previously established, are one in the same. they use this statement to argue that that part of the claim is wrong, i guess?? so strike one there. a direct quote from this section is "people are not inherently ableist for simply just existing and using a self-identifier" which is a total no thoughts, head empty thing to say - imagine if someone "self-identified" as having a severe physical illness, but slightly to the left, and then claimed to be the marginalized ones next to the people with an actual trauma disorder?

now, here's my all time favorite line from this whole carrd: "Labelling them as ableist for just existing is like calling a mixed race person racist for engaging in one of their races' cultures."

insert multiple question marks????????

as someone who is mixed race, i don't even think i have words for this one!!?? like i feel like i should never have had to explain that people self-identifying with a trauma disorder while actively claiming to not have trauma isn't the same as someone who can legitimately identify with a group being criticized from joining that group. like... pardon my french, how fucking stupid can you be? that was aggressive, but geez, like come on dude. have at least a little bit of awareness of your surroundings and your words and the way people experience the world. i swear no endo argument is complete without a little side of racism. your cute little "oh i have friends in my head for fun and not based on anything bad and it doesn't negatively affect me ☺️" is not even remotely close to "i am constantly in limbo between two worlds and am shunned from both, i have no sense of identity and my experiences often go unheard." gimme a break.

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the eighth claim is another big one, "[Term] is a traumagenic only term." their source for this one is complete dogshit, from a blog, and actually supports the idea that "system" is a DID-specific term, so not really sure what they set off to achieve there! the source says that "system" was used to refer to trauma-based systems in the 1980s and that endos started using "system" around the early 2000s, then goes on to say that DID systems never "reclaimed" the word, so it still belongs to all plurals. not... super sure how that logic works!

another interesting quote from this section is "Those labels cannot "belong" to the traumagenic community, because they are literally words used in everyday life with different meanings depending on the context." the word "belong" is used so interestingly here - turning this logic to, say, another mental illness, reveals the strangeness of this argument. it's like if someone who had anxiety said "the term 'ocd' does not belong to the ocd community!" just because they perceived some of their actions as similar to those with ocd and wanted to use the word. it doesn't "belong" to that community, it just is the word that that community is. that would not be the person with anxiety's term to use, full stop.

additionally, the "context" part is a total red herring. obviously, if the words are being used in the context of, say, a computer operating system, or the splitting of molecules, or the switching of seats on a train, these words have nothing to do with systems. to try to make a "gotcha!" point about context giving words meaning is a weak argument.

to be honest, i don't particularly care about who uses what word, i just find the logical fallacies here utterly shocking and wished to address them.

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continue on to part 3 for an analysis of the last two rebuttals and an analysis of the sources! if you've made it this far, thank you!

i will post part 3 tomorrow, i need some time to read through the sources and i'm tired xoxo

#discourse #syscourse #anti endo #anti-endo #radinclus #rad inclus #endogenic #multiplicity #plural #actually plural #systems #syscourse tw #carrd

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brilliantpassions · 1 year

Text

This will be heavy. I won't be holding back. I'll lay it all out.

Remember my readings are for entertainment purposes only. Take them how you will.

There is a lot of Negativity around Henry right now. It will get worse. Its not an opportune time for him to meet his soulmate. Spirit has put its hand up and slowed everything. Yes, spirit had helped he and his soulmate all these years. But it even has a limit. Right now it is focusing on protecting her.

There is/was a lot of anticipation regarding an event happening soon. Eyes with bad intentions watching. It could have been dangerous for his soulmate and she may have been thrust into the spotlight unintentionally, and subject to the negative press he is getting and will continue to get for awhile. Along with untrue allegations.

I feel like spirit is using an event to its advantage and is holding his soulmate back. They're giving it time. It's not off the table but I feel like it is now setting up other options and opportunities. I feel like this is it. Events are being pushed back.

Spirit also has a message for her. So I am thinking this reading will find its way to her.

You have opportunities of a lifetime approaching. Events culminating for your betterment. Keep your options open. Keep your eyes open. There will be surprises. The one on your rader is shrouded in negativity. It's not a good way to meet, it's not a good start. You dream of something healthy from second zero. Spirit is helping you achieve this wish, so it's holding it back. You need to make a choice. What will be beneficial for you. Don't worry about a soulmate, the universe will always have your back and will bring someone also suited for you. They may not be a soulmate but you can still be happy. Don't feel guilty or bad. Put you first. Just be aware of your options. You're learning of the power of choice. You have a choice. Spirit is reiterating the door hasn't closed, this is still an option but it's just letting you know that if you feel like this isn't the right choice for you, not to worry. Make your choice in confidence. Because you don't want stress. I feel like you're a very grounded individual, and you want positivity and joy in your life. Meeting now, you wouldn't get that. It would be a rough start for you, its why it's being pushed back to give it time. But ultimately it is your choice. Let go of the fear and hesitancy. I'm seeing a storm and you feel like walking to him is walking into this storm. You're not wrong LOL but spirit is giving you some time. It has potential of settling and being peaceful. It has potential of being secretive. You don't have to worry. But he also has to make choices to ensure that. Right now there's so much negativity and chaos.

Spirit is also urging you to keep looking for messages from the universe. You will have answers and you will know what to do. You're learning to listen. Keep down the path you are walking and you will not have to worry. You are loved! It's amazing to me how protected you are. Some may rejoice at this halt, but you have such beauty entering your life. You deserve it. I'm only allowed a peak but I can feel the strength you eminate and the strife you have overcome. Make sure you give yourself the credit you are due. Focus on the memories you will create this year. Spirit is really urging that.

As for now, there are too many distractions in Henry's life to meet his soulmate. Too much negativity and stress. Things have shifted once again. However I feel like we are entering a Tower Moment in his life once again. I told you once before Henry, you invited a disease into your life. Remember that. Hopefully you realize that now. And this has proven that. I feel like you're much more aware than even I realize. You're witnessing the shift and the events spirit is setting in motion to shift things.

It has helped you LOTS. It has laid such ground work for you and your soulmate. But it is coming to a head. Choices need to be made. BIG choices. From both you and her. It won't keep helping forever with this. I feel like you know more about her than even I can imagine. And I know there are protective feelings from you regarding her. So you can't blame spirit from pulling her back for the moment when there are energies and those who have bad intentions. I don't know how, but I have the feeling this upcoming meeting could have ended in possible disaster and stress for her. Due to third parties.

A plan of action needs to be made.

Both need to think long and hard of what they want and how to go ahead. What they want and how it looks. Big choices need to be made and maybe even some sacfrice. Maybe even desperate measures. I don't know. But as it is now...I dont have hope. Being real here.

I know you feel damned if you do and damned if you don't. Being stuck between a rock and hard place. I did warn you this disease had potential of crippling your life. Hopefully you realize that soon. Some things are not fair and some things are out of your hands. But what is? What can you do? What is it you want?

Spirit has granted you some time. Use it wisely. Otherwise what were these years for?

Time will tell what will happen.

Be thankful for the heads up.

You do have potential for rebranding. For a normal life when out of the spot light. I do see you being in the spot light minimally and when you're home, just being a normal guy. Being a husband and father. It's a possibility. It's still an option for you. You're just being warned you're on a timelimit now LOL.

I don't know, you're going to have to do some serious soul searching. Pray to all the higher loving beings in the cosmos LOLOL. A lot is going on and you're distracted. You're going to have to figure it out. At the end of the day, you're going to have to live with the result.

Just know you may have to make some serious choices. Big choices that you may not want to.

Desperate measures even. I don't know but there needs to be a lot of thought here. Trust. And action. A plan. Think on it. Pray for guidance.

It's up to you. I'm only here to help and give messages.

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kingdumkum · 1 year

Note

I, T, W, for any of your OM faves!

words cannot express how delighted i am rn. i'd say i'm sorry for getting carried away but that'd imply i am. i had trouble deciding but i'd be a liar if i said my heart isn't biased to these two idiots.

I-Imagination (what do they fantasize about?)

SOLOMON's fantasies are easy: you. He's too curious to risk the certainty of finding out--that'd be so... final. With finality comes the end of the pursuit, and after you've lived as long as he, you learn to appreciate the journey more so than the destination. So with something like you, he doesn't dare rush. Doesn't dare risk ruining the chase by skipping to the end. So he puts centuries of prior knowledge to the test. Would you like it better if he took you from behind on all fours, or would it make you moan louder if he had you on his lap, looking at your reflection? Would you want to choke on his fingers, or do you prefer to have his balls resting on your chin? Would you sound sweeter moaning his name, or telling the brothers you belong to him?

MAMMON's fantasies consist of three things: a life of gold and luxury, a car fast enough to outrun the devil himself, and the way you look spread out on both. he dreams of being debt-free, and more than that--Lucifer's ATM pin code, which he's given freely and allowed to use as often as he wants. he dreams of how the wind feels as he leaves behind all his problems and he dreams about the way you'd moan his name as he takes you, over and over and over again. he thinks about the way your skin would look with the imprint of a coin left in it; how the scent of money would linger in your hair if you fuck long enough on top of it. he imagines the way you'd call him your good boy and say that he's the best, your best, your favorite. it doesn't take much more to make him come undone than to reply every kind word of praise you've ever offered... even if you didn't intend it for him. no matter; his memory is selective enough to ensure that it's all for him, anyways.

T-Trust (how would they implement rough sex or kinks?)

SOLOMON is curious by nature. ever observant, ever practical, he definitely has contingencies upon contingencies to ensure that (if and/or when) you reach that point, it's as much for your benefit as his own. he's not one to let his emotions get the best of him--but he has them, and he's not afraid to make sure you know that no matter how curious he is, if you need him to stop, he will. Rest assured that while he's in charge, he's absolutely aware of your limits... even if you're unable to voice them. the kind of man to try anything once--or twice, in the pursuit of knowledge--so for the most part, it's he who brings it up. 'I want to try something...' he'll say, and after the first few times, you start to associate that with an inability to leave your room for several days. he'll never just spring it on you; as entertaining as uninformed consent, you're too important to him to risk pushing away.

I know MAMMON is a demon, but i can't see him willfully trying out anything rough or dangerous--unless you bring it up first. not the kind to suggest a safe word, but after the conversation (v casual) about kinks or taboo things to try, it's necessary. i think it'd be similar to Sol in the sense that there's a brief discussion about it... but unlike Sol, who gives you a little warning to prepare, it would just stick with Mams until the day he decides, 'now's as good a time as any...' very impulsive, but only after it's already been brought up. most likely to suggest something a bit more taboo while you're already in the middle of something else--and it's only partially because he doesn't think you'll be able to refuse him when he's making you feel that good. after all, that's why you ask then too, right? but strongly need to reiterate--anything super rough, super dangerous, super reliant on absolute trust--that's on you to initiate. he's been taken advantage of one too many times to be able to go there first, whether he's on the controlling side or not.

W-Wet (how would they have sex in the shower?)

SOLOMON hates shower sex. it physically pains me to write this, trust me, but it's a few of the things he hates most. it's warm, it's wet, it's unstable--the only thing he likes about it is the clean feeling he gets afterwards... but if you're with him, he's left feeling dirtier than ever. He'll indulge you, of course, but only if you make an offer he can't refuse--though he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy those bone-chilling moments right before he turns the water on, where the air is still frigid from his arctic AC and gooseflesh rises all over your bare skin... he's almost tempted to let the water run cold, to see how much your poor body can take before it starts to shut down, and it doesn't help how hot you make him when you kiss him so sweetly beforehand. he needs a cold shower, and he needs it now--but he'll acquiesce and let you run the water as warm as you'd like, as long as you get between his legs while you wait for it to warm up.

MAMMON would have sex on the moon if that's what you wanted. of all the brothers (barring Asmo), he's the most likely to get it on in the shower. there's something so... erotic about it, for him; about seeing the water dripping down your bare skin, how your eyes seem to sparkle brighter than any gem. he loves lathering you in his expensive body wash and gold shampoo (not just that purple stuff; 100% has a multi-part hair care routine with no less than two different shampoos, btw), knowing that means you'll smell like him for who knows how long. it'll always start off so innocent; just you making a comment about you've got to shower, him offering to let you use his and hell you can even borrow his soap, so long as you give him a kiss--and you acquiesce, knowing that before long, he'll be stepping in right behind you, asking if you need help getting your back... sex with Mammon is always on the more intimate side. no one ever sees him vulnerable, not in a way that counts--but shower sex, the kind that starts out domestic and with the genuine love and intimacy of, 'let me wash your hair...' is the closest to truly knowing Mammon's soul as you'll ever get.

#mammon #solomon #kasey's collection: om #kasey's adventure book!#look at meee i'm writinggg #no but this was so much fun thank you for your req darlin!!#hated to lose: dirty alphabet #makings of greatness

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scribbling-dragon · 2 years

Note

Double Life prompt: what if Cleo and Martyn got along, or at least didn't totally hate each other? I love these two sm

passive-aggressive apologies

Summary:

“You're an idiot.” It’s the first thing she can think of when she faces Martyn, and the way he blinks at her, completely surprised as thought this wasn't utterly deserved was definitely worth it.

“I- what?” He continues to stare at her, as though she’s grown another head. Which she hasn't. But he continues to look at her like that anyway.

“You're an idiot.” She reiterates.

(AO3 Link)

(787 words)

i dont really know what i think of this one, i like both of them but the characterisation feels a bit off, but i cant figure out why (also, sorry that it's a bit shorter than some of the others)

(friendly reminder that reblogs help more than likes!)

“I- what?” He continues to stare at her, as though she’s grown another head. Which she hasn't. But he continues to look at her like that anyway.

“You're an idiot.” She reiterates.

“How?” His voice pitches a little and he laughs. “How am I an idiot?”

“We went around the whole server,” she spreads her arms out, gesturing to the whole server, and he follows the movement, “Looking for our soulmates, which, surprise! That’s you. And you just fucked off somewhere else?”

“We didn't think of that.” He looks over to the side, where Scott and Pearl are having a much similar conversation, albeit much quieter. She doesn't miss the plea in Martyn’s eyes as he stares at the side of Pearl’s head, as though sheer willpower will be enough to make her turn and look at him. “We were, uh, occupied with other things?”

Even he doesn't sound confident on that, and she simply regards him, watching as his eyes dart back to Pearl again. The fear of god look he keeps aiming at her is great and all, but an apology would be nice too.

“You were occupied with exploring the Deep Dark and the Nether?” She clarifies, “Both extremely dangerous places, without considering the person that’s linked to you through pain?”

“You make it sound bad when you put it like that.” He frowns at her.

“It sounds bad whatever way you put it.” She sighs, wishing she’d just gone with her first plan and killed him. It would be a lot easier than whatever conversation they're currently having.

Martyn doesn't have a response to that and she looks over at Scott, hoping he’s suffering just as much as she is- nope. He’s hugging Pearl and she’s apologising. When she looks back to Martyn he’s watching them too.

“Getting some inspiration?” She asks, and he looks back at her, startled, as though he forgot she was there.

“Inspiration?” She takes back anything she said about Scar or Jimmy, she’s pretty certain Martyn’s the worst soulmate actually. The only reassurance she’s got right now is the frantic beating of his heart, like a trapped mouse. He’s terrified, sure, but that’s not really forthcoming with any apologies.

“For your apology.”

“You want me to apologise?” He sounds genuinely confused, and she can hear Scott laughing at her goddamnit. She shoots him a glare from the corner of her eye, watching as it only makes him laugh harder, stifling them behind his hand as though he’s having a coughing fit.

“Yes.” She grits out. “Pearl apologised to Scott, so you're going to apologise to me.”

“What for?”

“Christ, Martyn, do you have to have everything spelled out for you?” He just stares at her, which suggests that yes, he does have to have everything spelled out for him. She thought he was smart. “You went to places that hurt, I can feel your pain, and you didn't even seem to consider that, yes?”

He nods.

“And you caught on fire several times. Who do you reckon felt that pain as well?”

Finally, a light comes on his eyes, as though someone’s just come home and started occupying his brain again. “You want me to apologise for going to the Nether?” He manages. Pearl’s started laughing now too, louder and less apologetic than Scott.

“Yes.”

“Oh.” He grins. “I can do that,” he steps closer to her, grabbing one of her hands in his own. She allows it, staring down at him as he puts on his best smile. “I'm incredibly sorry for any of the hurt I may have caused you with my erroneous ways, can we please move on so those two can stop laughing at us?”

She suspects that’s going to be the best she gets out of him. “Apology accepted.” She turns to face Scott, who immediately looks away, trying to act like he hadn't been laughing even as a smile continues to tug at his lips.

“You better wipe that grin off your face,” she threatens, watching as Scott turns to her, mock wide eyes. Martyn releases her hand, and she takes a step in Scott’s direction, watching as he takes a step back, smirk widening.

“What are you going to do about it?” He goads.

“Come over there and wipe it off your face.” She takes another step closer and Scott takes another one back, looking more and more smug as she speaks.

“What about Pearl!” His voice pitches up into a shriek as she lunges after him.

#asks #anon #juno.writes #dlsmp #double life smp #dlsmp fic #zombiecleo #inthelittlewood #double life smp fic #trafficblr #did i write this instead of studying for my last exam? yes. next question

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sokkastyles · 2 years

Text

Reading ATLA: The Promise - pp94-158

The subplot with Toph and Sokka training her students is cute, but it’s not funny enough to be enjoyable as even comic relief, and Sokka’s character seems to be ONLY comic relief now. I’m really not surprised, because all of the characters have been flanderized, but the mistreatment of Sokka here is particularly egregious, especially since he’s the only brown skinned boy in the main cast.

This is another page that’s been harped on to death already, but I just want to reiterate how tired I am of seeing Katara be made to feel guilty for prioritizing her own feelings. I’m going to choose to believe that Aang did genuinely want to feel closer to his people and that he isn’t just using it to be manipulative, but the thing is, why isn’t Katara allowed to share in this? Even if Katara felt left out because of her own jealousy, why doesn’t it ever occur to Aang to try and include her, especially since they mean so much to each other. Why is she not included in this part of his life (that coincidentally involves Aang being fawned over by tons of girls who are all in love with him)? This scene could have ended with Katara confessing to feeling left out, and Aang offering to teach her how to play the air flute or something. It would have been sweet and emphasized the comic’s theme of cultural exchange, as well as done a lot to portray the KA relationship as an equal relationship.

Zuko visits Ozai again and Ozai reveals the lesson of his story the previous night - it doesn’t matter whether the Fire Lord chooses to help the hawk or the turtle crab, because whatever side he chooses is the right one simply because he chose it. This sounds a lot like what Azula tells Long Feng about power in the series, that those with power are the ones who have the will to exert it. To Ozai, it doesn’t matter whether his decision is right or wrong, and being uncertain is a sign of weakness. Of course this is an immoral stance, and Zuko says he trusts Aang to do what’s right. Ozai asks Zuko if he trusts Aang more than he trusts himself. And then this happens:

This is a good scene, actually, as heartbreaking as it is. Ozai is manipulating Zuko, and Ozai is right about power in one respect. Ozai has power over Zuko psychologically because he’s able to tap into what he knows Zuko’s weaknesses are. Even though Ozai is in prison and Zuko is the Fire Lord, Ozai is still Zuko’s father and Zuko spent sixteen years living under his thumb.

But ultimately, Ozai being able to boss Zuko around like this just shows that the only power Ozai really has is through being a bully.

It’s frustrating to see Zuko backsliding, and yes, the entire comic is frustrating for the way it retreads previously resolved conflicts, but it’s not unrealistic that Zuko, an abused kid, would still have this kind of reaction, no matter how many times he tells Ozai he’s not going to listen to him anymore. That kind of psychological dependence is hard to break. What’s frustrating is that Zuko has to be completely isolated in order to get to that point, which also involves every other character acting in ways that are OOC. Especially Iroh, who knows Ozai more than anyone and how dangerous he can be even when Zuko is out of his reach, should have foreseen the danger here. If only Ozai could have been put in a maximum security prison far away...perhaps in the middle of a boiling lake inside a volcano...I don’t know, I’m just spitballing here...Not just for Zuko’s safety but that also reduces the danger of anyone in the capital who might be sympathetic to Ozai staging an escape attempt. Especially considering that Iroh himself broke out of that prison without firebending at all.

There’s also a subplot where Kori’s boyfriend, Sneers, who was one of the protestors outside Yu Dao, says she has to choose whether she is Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom, but his name is Sneers, so.

Katara and Aang visit the Earth King and, hilariously, both talk at the same time over the other, Aang saying that the Fire Nation people don’t belong in the Earth Kingdom and Katara saying that Zuko is trying to defend the families living there. Literally nobody communicates in this comic, even when they’re trying to communicate!

Kuei apparently has been taking a page from Ozai’s book of How to Become a Fascist Dictator because he decides that this is the moment that he needs to Be a Man (you tell him, Katara!) There’s something here about toxic masculinity and power dynamics. Kuei’s situation is similar to Zuko’s because he’s also been manipulated by his government and feels the need to prove himself as a strong leader, and the Earth Kingdom is also no doubt experiencing some serious political upheaval in the wake of the deposition of the Dai Li.

But we know that Zuko isn’t his father, because he doesn’t want to rule through fear and intimidation.

So, Mai broke up with Zuko because he didn’t tell her he was going to visit Ozai, but she had a conversation with Suki behind his back about it - after she went behind Zuko’s back to fire his personal guards and put the Kyoshi Warriors in their place - and she’s mad about him keeping secrets?

I’ve also seen some criticism of Zuko here for ordering Mai to stay, but it was obviously something emotional said in the moment that he instantly regrets - and it didn’t work anyway. She also did the same thing to him at the end of ATLA when she told him never to break up with her again so like, turn about is fair play. Zuko doesn’t know why he says this, but like, this is the kind of behavior you learn if the person you’re in a relationship treats you that way. Also we just saw Zuko’s father order him around. It’s the trauma, bud. We won’t address any of this though, we’ll just pretend Zuko is going nuts because this poor kid hasn’t been gaslit enough in his life.

Zuko’s general comes in to tell him that the Earth King is marching against Yu Dao.

The biggest problem with this is that it’s framed as Zuko turning evil instead of “Zuko needs therapy.” Oh, and to not be around his abusive father.

Zuko wanting to live for his mom, who left to save his life.

I do like the idea of Zuko and Aang having this shared psychic spirit connection.

Aang and Katara go to warn the people of Yu Dao to flee the city before the Earth King’s forces arrive, but get attacked themselves. Aang meets the Yu Dao chapter of his fan club, who have pretty much straight up appropriated Air Nomad culture, and gets really pissed off and then decides to double down on his stance that the nations have to be separate. Because THAT’S the message here folks, rather than “cultural appropriation is bad,” we’re going for “isolationism is good.”

#the promise #atla comics critical #antikataang #antimaiko #zuko #katara #aang #ozai

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pkg4mumtown · 2 years

Text

Through Glass (Ch.4)

Chapter 4: Dreaming Wide Awake

Rating: M

Summary: How are you and Stephen getting along and what the hell is Strange up to?

A/N: Thanks again for all the great comments! I love each and everyone of them! This one is a long-ish one since each chapter is getting longer than the last! Also, I hope you all continue to enjoy since I’m getting increasingly nervous as this fic goes on.

Really quickly, I want to reiterate that the “reader” is gender neutral mainly for those of us (like me) who feel icky when referred to as she/her/female/etc because that’s very dominant in reader inserts. I just want to ask that we keep it neutral in the comments, too, for other readers who might feel this way.

Apologies ahead of time for any native Spanish speakers because in an effort to stay gender neutral, I’ve changed any words that end with the gendered “a/o” to ending with an ”e” .

Translations:

Amigo / Amigue - Friend / Friend (neutral)

Buenos días, qué tal?- Good Morning, how are you?

El otro mago - the other magician

Bien - Good

Tíe - neutral variation of Tía/Tío which is like aunt/uncle

Strange = Dr. Strange in reader’s universe

Stephen = Strange-Supreme

Warnings: Feelings of being watched, Multiversal Stalking, Possessive!Stephen, Eventual body horror, Gender Neutral Pronouns for Reader, No Y/N, First Person POV, What If AU where Reader dies instead of Christine, Strange-Supreme just needs a hug honestly, Stephen in Reader’s universe is a big dummy, Stephen is touch starved

Catch up with Chapter: 1 / 2 / 3

With me, disaster finds a playfield

Love seems to draw dark,

twisted pleasure tearing at me

’Cos I can’t let you go

Mercy, like water in a desert

Shine through my memory

like jewelry in the sun

Where are you now?

-Dreaming Wide Awake by Poets of the Fall

Wong burst into the room without warning, skipping the knock in favor of surprising Strange on a new development, “Strange! You’re awake, good! We have new inf—.”

Doctor Strange frantically closed the spell he did every morning, the gold, spinning reel minimizing into nothing before the shocked Sorcerer Supreme’s eyes.

“Jeez, give a guy some warning. What if I was entirely naked?” Strange chuckled and snapped his fingers so his tunics would materialize and cover his shirtless body.

“What was that, Strange?” Wong asked, foregoing what he initially came in the room for.

“Hmm?”

“What. Was. That? Because I know what it looks like and I need you to tell me it’s not,” Wong asked carefully, knowing exactly what kind of spell it was just by the look of it.

“Okay…it’s not, there,” Strange shrugged.

“Who was that?” Wong pushed. “Does it have anything to do with the questions you asked America and I about the multiverse?”

Strange ignored him and moved passed him in the doorway.

“Dammit, Strange, I’m not asking you as a friend, I’m asking you as your superior!” Wong shouted. “This is a breach of privacy!”

“What they don’t know won't hurt them! I am too dangerous to be in their dreams!” Strange retorted, spinning around to face Wong.

“Dreams? As in multiple? How long have you been doing this‽” Wong hissed.

“Long enough. It’s safer for them if they don’t know about us,” he shot back.

“Strange, it’s unethical, this isn’t right! I let you break plenty of rules, but I cannot agree with this choice!”

“They’ll never find out…”

“And if they do?”

“Why don’t I ever see you when I’m at work or just out?” I asked my empty bedroom.

“Because if you could see me, then everyone could. I’m not trying to incite panic in downtown,” Stephen drawled sarcastically from the mirror next to my bed.

I had rearranged my bedroom somewhat to make it easier to talk to him without having to leave the comfort of my bed on lazy days. Now, instead of the mirror being across the room where I had initially been scared shitless by the eyes of Stephen’s creature form, it laid nestled between the wall and the other side of my bed. It allowed me to lay curled up in my bed to watch Stephen as he spoke.

“As if there isn’t panic incited every other day,” I scoffed.

“You know what I mean,” all of his eyes glared at me.

By now, about a month since Stephen wormed his way into my routine, I rarely ever jumped if one of Stephen’s creatures made an appearance or if Stephen just didn’t feel like containing his creature form. I knew the most common creatures by now and which ones made an appearance based on his emotion at the time. I believed him when he said he didn’t want to hurt me, though I had no way of proving it considering Stephen’s theory about Strange.

“Why do you ask?” He hummed as he picked at a claw.

“Just curious. It just dawned on me is all. Like I knew something was there but I could never see you,” I sniffed, humming contently into my pillow.

Stephen quietly watched me, not that I was doing anything interesting. “You’re so beautiful,” I heard him quietly murmur.

“Shut up,” I groaned, feeling my face get hot and pulling my comforter up to cover it.

“I’m a very hard man to quiet, darling.”

“Yes, I’m aware. Something tells me every version of you prefers the sound of his own voice than anything.”

“Not entirely true. I know a few things I’d prefer to hear,” Stephen smirked, grinning devilishly around his tusks.

“Ew,” I teased.

Stephen rolled his eyes at the childish tone.

“Do you get bored in there?” I wondered, watching him effectively twiddle his thumbs with his gaze occasionally drifting off to something out of sight.

“Sometimes, but it’s a reminder that this is a punishment for my actions,” he shrugged, his shoulders sagging more with grief.

“Would you…ever consider coming here?” I questioned, not really sure what answer I wanted to hear but curious all the same. He’d been nothing but kind to me this far and I wondered his intentions more than once. He seemed to have learned from his previous mistakes and just seemed…lonely. I suppose it would be interesting to have him here.

“I can’t,” he smiled sadly. “Not because I don’t want to but because I have a duty here still,” Stephen sighed, holding up a miniature version of the crystalline globe he was encased in. I could barely make out a couple figures inside but understood that it was important to him nonetheless. “If anything, I could only come for a little at a time.” Stephen pursed his lips, “Would you want me to visit?”

“Might be nice,” I murmured shyly. “Let you experience something else for a bit…”

Stephen perked up, his back straightening with a hopeful smile spreading over his face, only interrupted when my phone started buzzing with a video call from Oscar. I heard Stephen snarl softly through the mirror as he glanced at the screen.

“Stephen,” I chastised, “he’s a friend and married. I’m not interested, so stop being a jerk.”

I answered the call, throwing a passing glance to see Stephen’s glowering features.

“Buenos días, que tal?” Oscar started, a little too cheery for my taste at the moment.

“Bien,” I yawned. “You’re loud,” I groaned into the back of my hand, hearing screaming children in the background.

“Are you still in bed‽” he shouted.

“Uh, yea, I have the day off!” I shouted back.

“Good, come have lunch with me and the kids. Liv is taking a spa day,” he grinned.

I grumbled and groaned into the phone, “You want me to get up?”

“Yes, lazy ass, come on! I’ll text you the address.”

I glanced at Stephen sulking in the mirror, having the most terrible idea, “Hey, you think I could bring my dog?”

“I think they have outdoor seating, sure…” he paused. “Uh, when did you get a dog?” He asked, surprised that I hadn’t mentioned it before.

“Like a week ago,” I replied, trying to sound casual about it. “Text me, I’ll see you there.”

I hung up and turned to the mirror, smiling at Stephen only to find his jaw clenched and a clearly unhappy expression on his creature form’s face.

“Your dog, seriously?” He asked with a hint of offense definitely being taken.

“What, you thought you could go out looking like a literal famous superhero? No,” I sat up in bed. “What crawled up your ass?”

“Do you not trust me enough to be a human and speak in front of your friend?” He seethed, cracks forming on his face with bright green beneath, pulsating under his skin.

“It’s not Oscar I’m worried about, it’s Strange. A dog is a lot easier to lie about than a whole human if he were to drop in! There are far too many things that could go wrong with you being human, please.”

“Strange I can deal with. But, I’m not going to lunch with Oscar,” Stephen stood, hands primed and ready to close the gateway for the day.

“Why not‽”

Stephen turned around with literal flames in his eyes—contrasting the green shining through the cracks, “Because I have seen one too many universes where you married him!”

“Ew! He’s like my brother!” I exclaimed, making Stephen scoff. “Also, who cares? So what in another universe I was attracted enough to him to marry him? You were probably dead anyway! I’m not attracted to him in this universe!”

Stephen ignored me, his clawed hands clenching in quite a fearsome manner, turning back around so his wings were facing me. I did my best to rationalize that he wasn’t in complete control of his emotions, I knew this much. But, was I so horrible for wanting to keep him as safe from Strange as I could?

“You know what? Fuck you,” I threw my covers off of me, short angry breaths leaving my nose. “Having me argue with a god damn mirror, un-fucking-believable.”

Stephen watched me over his shoulder, eyes widening when he saw tears pooling in my eyes. He quickly began realizing just how pissed I was. He murmured my name to get my attention but I wasn’t having it.

“No, no, no, you can fuck off with that, okay? I’m going to lunch with my best friend and god kids, something I wanted you to be a part of,” I snapped. I threw my hands up, “God forbid I do something thoughtful to spend time with you safely, without drawing attention to you.”

I stalked into the bathroom and slammed the door, hoping he would know better than to follow me right now. I stepped into the shower, letting out shaky, shuddering breaths while trying to calm down and letting my angry tears mix with the water. His creatures feeding off his emotions obviously didn’t help things, but I wouldn’t tolerate him hating Oscar and he had to learn that. The fact that there was a universe where I married Oscar made me shudder in distaste. I just didn’t see him like that.

The house was silent as I got dressed, not even caring if he was watching or not, though he swore he didn’t when I changed. I made sure I had my essentials before leaving my bedroom with a soft, “Bye, Stephen.” I wasn’t sure if I should have expected a response or not. Probably not.

As I walked down the hallway to my front door, I was bewildered to see a large brown lump. Slowing my steps as I didn’t know what to expect, I felt my breath catch in my throat as I saw a large brown Doberman with menacingly pointed ears laying in front of my door, head on its paws, with a rather excited nub of a tail.

“Stephen?” I asked, wanting to make sure before I fully approached.

“It’s me,” I heard Stephen’s voice echo in my head. “I’m sorry—again,” he sighed, looking away from me with his head still planted on his paws. His light brown patches above his eyes drawing together in disappointment at himself.

“Thank you. Am I the only one who can hear you?” I asked, taking a seat on the floor in front of the large animal form.

“Yes,” he answered plainly, not moving an inch.

“Come here,” I asked, waiting patiently with my hand out since I wasn’t sure how familiar he was in this form or how it affected his emotions.

Stephen slowly stood on all fours and stepped hesitantly over, keeping his head low and bumping it under my hand apologetically. I ran a hand over the top of his head and around to his jaw, watching his eyes flutter closed.

“I’m not doing this to belittle you, Stephen. I want you to be able to go outside with me, but I’m scared of Strange finding out. It’s bad enough that he might have detected you coming through, but I’m taking a chance here,” I sighed, running my hand over his muzzle.

“I understand, I do. I just—,” he stopped and sighed.

I waited for him to continue his thought.

“Seeing the person I love with someone else so many times and him being your best friend here?” Stephen paused, “It’s hard to separate one from the other.”

“I would say ‘I understand', but I’m not in your position; but you have to believe me when I say that in this universe, there is no chance,” I continued petting him softly. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, though. Oscar is still really important to me and considering I’ve only known you for a month…you won’t like my answer if I have to choose.”

“Apology accepted. I’m really trying, I’m sorry,” a sad whine emitted from his throat.

I felt his soft nose press into my temple, gently sniffing and making laugh at how low-key he was trying to keep it. “Also, there will be kids, so be chill. No biting, no growling. You picked a big ass dog, and they might be scared of you.”

“Okay,” he murmured, keeping his position for a while. It wasn’t awkward as I sat in silence, one of his paws planted in between my crossed legs with the other on the outside; allowing him to be close without sitting on me. My hands ran up the soft fur on his neck, brushing his jaw before going back down to the edge of his collar.

I hooked my finger in the violet collar with gold accents around his neck, running over the material and retracting my hand quickly when I felt it shift on its own accord, “Is that the cape I’ve seen you wear?”

“Nifty, huh?” He replied with a hint of excitement in his voice, pulling his head and body away so I could see the colors better. I could hear the grin in his voice, only made funnier by the raise of the little patches of eyebrow on his fur and the slight baring of teeth that I assumed to be a “smile".

“It’ll be even better if it can create a leash.”

“Oh, that’s something we never quite got around to,” Stephen murmured, his voice sly and despite the dog form he was in, I could tell by his squinting eyes that the context was not about the kind of leash I wanted.

“Nope, walking away,” I called out, getting up on my knees. I stepped one foot up, ready to stand, when I paused and rubbed the top of his muzzle again. I gripped it gently, pulling it to one side so I could place a kiss on his jowl. With him sufficiently stunned, I stood and pulled the front door open, “Come on, lets go!”

Stephen snapped out of his stupor and bounded out the door and down the stairs, immediately sticking his head in a bush and sniffing repeatedly and so loudly that I could hear it as I locked my door behind us. I laughed as I watch him pull his face out, being chased by a bee and snapping his teeth at it.

“Stop trying to eat the bees, come on,” I laughed, placing a hand on the outside of his head and pressing him into my leg so he would walk with me. I felt something worm into my hand as I let go of his head, seeing a violet leash with gold trim now in my hand.

I wasn’t surprised as we walked to the restaurant, that people made wide berths when they saw Stephen—even in these crowded sidewalks—because of the breed he chose. We walked for a while, nothing seeming off or out of place just yet, and I breathed a sigh of relief at the potential that Strange hadn’t detected Stephen at all. Stephen, though, had a nervous energy about him, continually looking around and smelling the air.

“What’s up?” I asked, knowing he could hear me with those ears.

“Someone’s watching us,” I heard in my head, clear as day. Stephen suddenly stopped, pulling me to the side to sniff something to seem like a relatively normal dog. I saw him look up at the buildings, his eyes changing shape and glowing briefly, only noticeable if you were looking. “It’s Strange,” he said, hearing a distinctly canine growl come from his actual chest.

“Shit,” I cursed, trying not to look at where Stephen had.

“Wait—he…he’s gone?” Stephen looked again, only confirming what he was seeing. “He's gone. He portaled away…”

“Come on, let's keep going. I don’t need him coming back to us still here,” I ordered, trying not to tug the leash like I would for a real dog. Luckily, we were almost at the restaurant by now.

Soon, we were striding up to the front of the building, spotting Oscar wrangling his kids from afar. I snorted as I watched him grab the youngest’s shoulders and yank her in before she could get trampled by foot traffic.

“Daddy! Daddy! Tíe is here!” The middle child, a boy, shouted over the crowd.

“And they brought a puppy!” The youngest screeched.

Oscar turned around to face us with a huge smile on his face, which dropped as he laid his eyes on Stephen, “That’s not a puppy, kiddo; that’s a full grown fuc—ahem—beast.”

“All dogs are puppies, Oscar, don’t insult my precious boy,” I glared, making the scruffy looking man roll his eyes.

“Your precious boy?” Stephen teased.

Oh, how I wished to flip the smug bastard off but muttered, “Shut up,” under my breath instead. Stephen simply chuckled in my head. Stephen sat as they came over for hugs, discreetly smelling the air around them. He looked up at me as Oscar hesitantly took a couple steps in his direction, to which I responded with raised eyebrows.

“Yea, yea...” he sighed.

As I was tackled by the kids, Oscar approached Stephen, “Hey there, buddy.”

Oscar bent over and stuck the back of his hand out for Stephen to smell. Stephen played the part and as Oscar turned his palm up, Stephen raised a paw and placed it briefly in Oscar’s hand.

“Smart dog,” Oscar praised after dropping the paw and opening his arms to hug me.

“Thanks, genius,” I heard Stephen comment sarcastically in my head. It took everything in my power to not laugh, especially knowing if Oscar could hear him, he’d be busting up, too.

“What’s the doggie’s name, Tíe?”

I glanced at Stephen, trying not to think too hard about a name he should already have and trying not to connect it to the Doctor Strange here if I could avoid it. Thinking about our previous conversations, a devious smile spread across my lips as I remembered Stephen’s story of how he travelled back in time. With a knowing smirk flashed at Stephen, I turned back to the kids.

“Don’t you dare.”

“Armani,” I told them excitedly.

“I told you that in confidence, you little—“

“Just let him smell you and be gentle, okay. Don’t pull his ears,” I instructed, going to their level to show them that it was okay by gently running my hand over his head and down his neck.

“Hi, Uh-mani,” the youngest one giggled.

All three kids stuck their hands out at the same time, letting Stephen smell them and experimentally lick them—because that’s what dogs did, he figured. He let them clumsily pat his head—refraining from cringing because it might not look too friendly on a dogs face—before we were being ushered to our outdoor table.

“Please don’t make me do that again. One of them tastes like their hand has been dipped in oatmeal all morning.”

I laughed under my breath and rubbed his jaw soothingly as we walked, “If you’re a good boy, I’ll give you a treat later.”

“Tease.”

“I really like Uh-mani, Tíe,” the youngest giggled as she skipped along next to Stephen, keeping a hand on his back.

“He’s really soft,” the middle boy muttered shyly.

“And really pretty,” the oldest girl proclaimed with a huge smile.

“He is, isn’t he?” I smiled down at him, wrinkling my nose when he licked my hand.

“Mmh, no, still don’t like it...eugh,” Stephen murmured in distaste, probably from the heightened senses.

“Here’s your table, let me know if you need anything. Your dog can—,” she laid the menus out on the table.

Before the host could finish her sentence, Stephen jumped on to the chair next to me, sat, and stared at her. He made no moves to get off the chair and I made no moves to “correct” his behavior, simply smiling sheepishly at the host.

“Never mind...” she trailed off, a little stuck as if she couldn’t figure out if it was against the rules or not to have him there. She eventually gave up with herself and walked away.

Stephen gingerly lowered himself into a laying position and lowered his head to my leg. I ran my hand soothingly over the crest of his head, rubbing my fingers behind his ears, and down his neck. I smiled, hearing a needy whine coming from his throat as I slowed, but moved my hand to rest comfortably on the side of his cheek. I let my thumb caress the soft fur over the lax muscle there, absentmindedly.

Oscar got the kids settled, finally sitting down with a groan. We immediately started chatting, but my hand never left Stephen’s face, so he knew I wasn’t ignoring him. I’m sure this picture made Stephen uneasy considering it would be the picture of a cute little family, but it wasn’t, and I hoped he would understand that. The waiters came and went, only interrupting our conversation to take orders and bring food to the table.

“So, what’s with the guard dog?” Oscar nodded his head to where Stephen rested, munching on his food in between.

“Considering, you know, I just wanted something to make me feel safe,” I lied, grabbing a fry off my plate and putting it in front of Stephen’s nose. He happily snatched it from my hand without nipping my finger, his moan of delight in my head distracting me from what Oscar was saying. I continued feeding him, only to selfishly hear that noise again.

“Does it have magical, demon fighting powers or something?” Oscar cackled, “Because I’m not sure a dog is going to scare what I saw.”

I pursed my lips, not quite sure about how to answer that question. I wasn’t sure how Oscar would take it if I told him what was really going on. He’d probably think I was joking, but considering what he saw, I didn’t want him to go running off and telling Strange either.

“You should not be pausing that long for a stupid question like that,” Oscar chuckled nervously. “It’s not some mystical being el mago magicked up for you, is it?”

Maybe, it wouldn’t be that difficult?

“I hope you know what you’re doing...,” Stephen warned.

“Can—can I tell you something?” I asked him, biting my lip nervously.

“Please do, you’re scaring me, amigue.”

“You need to promise me you won't tell anyone, please,” I plead. “You’re the only person I can trust with this.”

My eyes flitted over to the kids eating but Oscar snapped my attention back to him, “They’re fine, they’ve got food and technology. If a tornado ripped through the street, they wouldn’t even notice.”

“Um, so...that mon—,” I paused, changing my wording because Stephen was quite literally next to me and not a monster or demon. “That being you saw? It’s el mago from a different universe,” I murmured, keeping our little Spanish code for Doctor Strange.

��Very funny, great acting,” Oscar rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious, Oscar,” I hissed, leaning forward and looking around to make sure no one was being nosey.

Oscar was silent, furrowing his brows, and processing what I was telling him. It wasn’t too far of a stretch for him considering he saw Stephen’s creature form already and that was hard to explain on its own, “But, you said he put protection up in your house right? Does he know? Did he stop other him?”

“He’s—el otro mago— he’s not bad,” I stressed. “He did a bad thing for a good reason, but he’s paying for it now. He—he just wanted to see me.”

“See you? Why?” Oscar asked, confused.

“Um, ouch?” I joked, but Oscar’s deadpanned stare spoke volumes, “Because...because we were together in his universe and in a lot of universes,” I explained.

“I’m so very fucking confused,” he rubbed a hand over his face. “What does this have to do with the dog?”

“El otro mago,” I waved my hand at Stephen, still stroking his neck.

Oscar looked shell-shocked for a moment, sitting in disbelief before exploding quietly. “Why did you bring him here if he did some bad shit?” Oscar hissed out a whisper, clearly surprised.

“I would just like to interject and give a quick recap. You’re awful at explaining things, sweetheart. No offense,” Stephen interrupted, expanding his weird ability to speak in my head to Oscar.

“None taken,” I shrugged.

Oscar screamed and slapped his hand over his mouth, drawing some attention of surrounding tables and his kids for a second, “T—that was a—a really big—uhm bug, sorry.” He smiled awkwardly at the other tables who went back to eating and the kids who shrugged and went back to their phones.

“What the actual fuck?” Oscar scream whispered.

Stephen did his best to give a quick version of what he had told me, not entirely putting Oscar at ease considering the part where his universe died.

“Okay, amigue, but he destroyed his own universe and you come invite him into this one? You have to realize how bad of an idea that is!” Oscar exclaimed lowly.

“Look, he hung around me for a month with no bad intentions. He’s far stronger than the Strange here and had plenty of time to fuck shit up if he wanted to. But he didn’t.”

“That’s some great logic there,” Oscar rolled his eyes.

“I trust him, okay, and if you trust me...please. Please, just trust me,” I begged, making Oscar sigh and shake his head.

“Fine,” Oscar ran a hand from his curly, dark hair down to his brow, “but if shit goes sideways...”

“I know.”

“The things I do for you…” Oscar shook his head, giving me a small smile and patting my hand. “You’re lucky I love you.” Oscar eventually quieted down, scratching his head as he mulled over the new information. “Um, nice to meet you, I guess,” Oscar waved awkwardly to Stephen, who took a break from scarfing down my fries to look at Oscar. “Can I ask why you made me shit my pants that one time?”

“It’s uh—embarrassing…”

“All the more reason for you to spill, mago,” Oscar raised an eyebrow.

“’Stephen’ is fine, by the way. But—uh— in some universes I saw, you h—had married them if I died at some point,” Stephen answered a tad sheepishly.

“Um, ew?” Oscar scrunched his nose up, turning his attention to me for a second. “No offense.” He turned back to Stephen, “They’re like my sibling, dude.”

“Yes, yes, I get it, okay?” Stephen mentally rolled his eyes, sniffing out loudly and grumpily. He refused to look at me, thoroughly embarrassed, but I continued scratching his head.

“That’s the only reason? You were jealous?” Oscar laughed, coughing from the force of it.

“Can I—,?” Stephen growled.

“No,” I chastised, holding his head firmly in place.

“Oh man,” Oscar finished laughing, wiping his eyes. “Man, that’s hilarious. Seriously, though, they need some dick in their life so...if you’ve got, like, human parts stashed away somewhere…” Oscar pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows suggestively at Stephen.

“Asshole,” I slapped his arm.

Stephen was ever vigilant on the walk back home but gave no indication that Strange had reappeared and watched us at the restaurant or was following us back home. We strolled leisurely, neither one of us wanting to end our outing so early.

“Are you going to hang around for a little or...?” I questioned, trying not to make it too obvious that I wanted him to stay longer.

“I have to go back and check on the sphere, love,” Stephen hummed in disappointment. “I can come by tomorrow?” I saw Stephen glance up at me from where he was walking while plastered against my leg.

“Okay,” I nodded, equally as disappointed, but cognizant of his duties.

All too soon, we approached my front door. I opened it, letting Stephen nudge his way through first and sniff around, likely smelling for Strange.

“I think we’re go—,” Stephen stopped mid thought. “—Get behind me.”

Stephen barely had time to get his head in front of my leg just as golden sparks fell from in thin air, turning quickly into a complete circle. Before I could get a read on the other side, Strange rushed through, making a beeline for me and stopping himself with his hands bracing my shoulders.

“Are you okay‽” Strange asked with a panicked edge to his voice.

I gulped, stepping away from him far enough that his hands fell off my shoulders, “I have a—a front door, you know?”

His closeness made me uncomfortable now after hearing Stephen’s theory, a clear violation of my privacy within my own head no matter the reasoning. Strange tried to step forward again, only to be stopped by Stephen pushing himself further between us to create space and growling deep in his chest with bared teeth. As if only seeing the huge dog at that moment, Strange startled, snapping out of his tunnel vision.

Taking a wary step back, thankfully smart enough to not try getting bitten, he continued, “Are you okay?” Strange pressed again, turning his attention back to me.

“Um, I—I'm fine,” I stuttered, letting my hand drop to the side of Stephen’s neck to keep him from doing anything rash.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m right here! I’m fine!” I bit back, not amused at having my home invaded so suddenly; there was too much of that going around already. “What do you want?” I asked impatiently.

There was a change in Strange’s eyes, his brows softening and his shoulders deflating a bit, “Well I—I sensed something weird earlier, and I thought it might be the mirrors being crossed, but I was otherwise unavailable and—I just wanted to make sure nothing bad happened.”

“Obviously, I’m fine. Nothing a phone call couldn’t have cleared up,” I answered sharply.

“Uh...did I—are we okay?” Strange questioned my sudden hostility with a tilt of his head.

“Dude, you just barged into my house out of nowhere. No warning. No knock,” I raised my voice. “I think I’m allowed to be mad at that.”

“And what happened to me saying I was going to fix your little issue here? Or did you forget about that part?” he sneered, attempting to demean my “problem”.

“My ‘little issue’ that you, yourself, have said is actually a big issue?” I retorted. “And in any case, you can still knock like a decent human being. What if I had someone here or I wasn’t decent?”

Strange laughed, “Who? Your friend? Because you definitely would want him to protect you over someone as powerful as me, right? Just like, somehow, a dog is going to solve your problem?”

“How the hell do you fit through portals with a head that big‽ Have you even found out anything new?”

Strange was silent, clamping his mouth shut in frustration; giving me all the answers I needed.

“Didn’t think so. So, yea, my dog is doing a better job,” I answered smugly.

Strange’s jaw set, causing the muscles in his jaw to ripple in a way that would have been attractive if he wasn’t potentially fucking with my mind, “I’m glad you’re okay.” Strange suddenly turned on his heel and began to walk back toward the portal.

“If, you’re so concerned, maybe try and figure out why my sleep paralysis demon is eating my dreams, too,” I spat before I could stop myself.

“What are you talking about?” He paused, immediately tensing and eerily still at my mention of dreams; but not facing me to avoid any tells on his face. The only indication I had that he was listening to me was him barely looking at me over his shoulder. It only further confirmed Stephen’s theory and raised my suspicion.

“I haven't been able to remember my dreams. For a while, actually,” I clarified.

“When did this start happening?”

“I only just realized recently,” I shrugged.

Seemingly relieved, Strange dropped his shoulders slightly and continued, “There’s plenty of scientific reasons for that.”

“Right, of course,” I nodded. “The best brain sorcerer there is,” I mocked.

Thoroughly done with the conversation, Strange stepped through the portal and closed it behind him. The house was silent again, no more growling or shouting echoing in my living room. Sighing at the silence, I barely registered Stephen’s absence in front of me until a voice made me jump.

“Did you just call me your sleep paralysis demon?” I heard Stephen ask, but it wasn’t as echoey as it had been all day.

I turned, my jaw dropping as I saw Stephen, in all his human-formed glory, standing next to me. Instead of the tunics I usually saw him in, he stood there in ratty, dark jeans and an off-red t-shirt with, what I assumed to be his cloak, draped around his neck like a scarf. His features were still sharper and paler than the Strange that just left my house, with dark circles under his eyes making him look perpetually tired.

“Hi,” I breathed, equally awe-struck at his handsome features as I was at how normal he was dressed.

“Hi,” Stephen smirked, still keeping his distance just in case.

Overcome with seeing him on this side of the glass, I couldn’t help but close the distance between us and draw him in for a tight hug. His form nearly collapsed against me as I pulled him in, but his own arms held me so tightly like I was going to disappear before him. Because I had, once upon a time.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Stephen laughed into my neck, sniffling against the wet skin as tears involuntarily fell from his eyes.

Chapter 5

#gender neutral reader #stephen strange x reader #doctor strange x reader #marvel fanfiction #strange supreme x reader #Series: through glass #my art

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4dudesfromthe0oze · 2 years

Text

Healing (rottmnt fic) Part I

(( @lexywrittes I hope I’m tagging the right person 👀))

Warning! May contain spoilers for the ROTTMNT Movie! I recommend watching the movie :) very soul crushing.

This is gonna be posted in separate parts cuz I’m pretty sure the whole thing is gonna be massive 👀

cw: angst, lots of angst :) spoilers for the rottmnt movie.

word count: 2,423

After the near invasion of the Kraang, the brothers work on healing, processing and coping with the physical and mental trauma they had to endure. The youngest brother, Michelangelo, continues to behave as the family therapist though it becomes clear that the young turtle could also use some talking to.

The turtle stares up into the sky as the world falls apart around him. The mission to stop the Kraang.. to save Raph… it was a failure. There was shouting, the screams and cries of the people of New York as they try to flee.

He stands frozen as his brothers try to fight off the Kraang before suddenly… stab… Both Leonardo and Donatello stabbed straight through their plastrons as the poor Michelangelo stands frozen, helpless to watch. He cries out his brothers names as he tries to rush over only to suddenly be stopped by the Kraangified Raphael.

“R-Raph-!”

He’s cut off as tentacles wrap around his neck and start to choke him. Tears swell in his eyes as he calls out for his older brothers before suddenly… he wakes up. He wakes up in a cold sweat, his hand holding his neck as he pants for air and tears pouring from his eyes.

You’d think he’d be used to dreams like this by now considering how many nightmares he’s had since the incident… but no. The memories still brought him so much pain. Thinking about how Leo was nearly lost to the prison dimension… the countless occasions where Donnie was in danger because of his exposed soft shell… the danger he himself was in…

Mikey lets out a sniffle as he tries to hold back his tears, grabbing his phone to look at the time but then winces at the brightness. It was the crack of dawn and none of his brothers would be awake right now. As he sets his phone down, he takes a look at his hands that were bandaged up. For a moment he imagines the cracks there… his body falling apart...

He takes in a deep breath, letting out a sigh before getting out of his hammock and leaving his room, deciding to go get breakfast started considering his brothers would be awake soon. It’ll also be a good distraction from the awful way he was awoken.

Mikey silently made his way to the kitchen, noticing the smell of food that only became stronger as he got closer to the kitchen. He silently peeks his head in and see his two older brothers, Raphael and Donatello, at the stove.

“I don’t think I’m doing this right… The pancake looks… weird.”

“How hard can it be to make a pancake? It’s just some flour and water.”

Donnie comments as he starts to prepare himself some coffee. Raph grumbles a little as he stares at the pancake in the pan with intense focus.

“How do I know if it’s done?”

Raph asks, glancing to Donnie who places his mug under the coffee machine.

“I dunno. Isn’t it supposed to look a gold-ish brown on both sides?”

“Yeah, but how am I supposed to know when the other side is cooked properly?”

Raph reiterates as he grabs the spatula and hand to the pan in preparation to flip the pancake.

“Again, I dunno.”

“Some help you are, Don.”

“What do you expect? I’m a scientist, not a chef.”

Donnie crosses his arms as he leans against the counter, putting him in the position to see Mikey at the door of the kitchen.

“Oh. Good morning, Michael.”

He waves, Raph turning his attention to the door when hearing Donnie talking to Mikey. He smiles to his younger brother who smiles in return as he walks into the kitchen.

“Good morning, Mikey! You’re up pretty early.”

Raph sets down the spatula as he walks to Mikey who stares at the countertop that had some flour and some of the mix scattered about.

“I can say the same for the both of you. Especially you, Donnie.”

Mikey points out as Donnie goes through the fridge to retrieve the milk.

“Bold of you to assume I’ve slept, dear ‘Angelo.”

He grabs the milk and closes the fridge behind him, receiving a look from Raph.

“Ya seriously gotta get better sleep, Don.”

“Science waits for no man nor turtle, Raphael.”

Donnie responds as he takes the milk and pours some into his coffee, grabbing his spoon and stirring it. Mikey lets out an amused chuckle before turning his attention back to Raph.

“You do normally wake up earlier than us, but this is stills pretty early even for you.”

Mikey comments, watching as Raph’s expression drops to a nervous one. He awkwardly chuckles as he glances to the side to avoid seeing Mikey’s gaze.

“Yeah- uh- about that- um-… I-I just happened to have woken up at this time. Ain’t nothing weird about it.”

He quickly speaks, Mikey’s eyebrow raising with a small smirk.

“…Right… anyways, heard you were making pancakes. Sounds like you set strugglin’ though. I can take over from here!”

Mikey smiles as he walks past Raph to the stove and grabs the spatula. Suddenly Raph’s hands were on his shoulders picking him up and away from the stove.

“Nuh uh. You need ta’ rest. Big bro Raphie’s got breakfast covered!”

Raph takes the spatula from Mikey who stares up at him with a bratty pout.

“But cooking is my thing!”

Mikey tries to reach for the spatula but Raph holds it up too high for him to reach.

“Well today your thing is relaxing. Your arms are still hurt, Mikey.”

“Um… Raph-“

Donnie tries to speak but is interrupted by Mikey trying to climb on to Raph to get the spatula.

“I’m fine, Raph! Let me cook!”

“Mikey! Get down! You’ll hurt yourself!”

Raph tries to carefully remove Mikey from his back as he continued to reach for the spatula.

“Raph-“

Mikey manages to grab the spatula, laughing in triumph before falling off of Raph’s shoulder and hitting the floor.

“Mikey!”

Raph quickly gets down to help Mikey up. He lets out a small groan, having landed on one of his arms. He looks up at Raph with a sour expression before hitting him with the spatula.

“Ow! What was that for?!”

“For being a jerk! Now put me down so I can-“

“Guys! The pancake is burning!”

Donnie finally manages to call out, the two turning their attention to the stove. Raph sets Mikey down and takes back the spatula before quickly rushing to the stove.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier, Donnie?!”

“I’ve been trying, but you two buffoons ignored me over your bickering, Raphael!”

Donnie snaps back before taking a sip out of his coffee. Raph tries to remove the pancake from the pan but the pancake was unmoving. Mikey stares and watches before giving Raph a look.

“Ya made sure to use butter, right?”

“Uh… I-I needed to use butter…?”

Raph asks with a nervous look, Mikey face palming before crossing his arms.

“Yes, Raph, you needed to use butter to make sure the pancake didn’t stick on the pan.”

“…Oh… We don’t have any butter…”

Raph mutters, receiving a sigh from Mikey as he shakes his head. He takes the spatula and pan from Raph and brings it over to the garbage. With some work he was able to get the pancake off, managing to hide the physical strain the struggle had on his arms.

“…Let’s just have some cereal…”

Mikey suggest with the best smile he could muster, bring the pan and spatula to the sink and tossing it in.

“Right… Oh, Donnie, could you check on Leo?”

Raph requests to high Donnie nods. He gets off from leaning on the counter and leaves the kitchen. Raph’s attention returns to Mikey who went through the cupboards and took out a box of cereal. He noticed the frown in Mikey’s expression which causes him to frown as well.

“…Look… I wasn’t trying to deny you of what you like doing… but your arms aren’t in the best condition… I just… didn’t want to you hurt ya’self…”

Raph grabs the carton of milk and brings it to the table but not before stopping beside Mikey and placing his hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve voiced my worries better.”

Mikey looks up at Raph as he takes out the lucky charms. He silently thinks about his older brothers words before smiling up at him.

“It’s cool, Raph. I know you’re just looking out for me, but my arms aren’t that damaged to the point I can’t make pancakes for the family.”

Mikey takes the cereal with him before placing it on the table, Raph following and putting the milk beside.

“I know… It’s just that… You saw- You felt what was happening to your body when you opened up that portal… We… W-We could’ve…”

Raph’s words get caught in his throat, unable to finish his words. Mikey frowns, going to his eldest brother and hugging him.

“…Yeah… b-but you guys didn’t… I was okay… We’re okay…”

Michelangelo speaks softly. He was pretty short compared to Raphael, his arms not even able to reach to his brothers back. Raph stares down at the youngest of the brothers, a warm smile appearing before he carefully and gently hugs him in return.

“…Right… We’re okay…”

Mikey smiles at Raph’s words before gently patting his back.

“Now that we’ve got that out the way, let’s sit down and eat. I’m hungry.”

He breaks the hug and playfully nudges Raph out the way so he can grab the bowls and spoons. Raph chuckles before going to the table and taking a seat.

Meanwhile with Donatello, he approaches Leonardo’s room, taking a peek inside and seeing his brother still asleep. He was about to leave the room before noticing Leo’s face scrunching up in discomfort.

Donnie frowns a little, both in discomfort as he realises he’ll have to deal with whatever’s bothering Leo and because something was bothering Leo. He lets out a sigh before entering the room.

He stares down at Leo, trying to think of what to do. A robotic arm comes out of his battle shell and gently pats Leo’s head.

“Hey um… ‘Nardo? You good?”

Donnie asks, hoping it was going to be as simply as patting him and trying to get his attention. Unfortunately, it wasn’t, Leo’s discomfort visibly worsening as he tosses over and trembles.

“…Leo…”

He reaches over and nudges his shoulder with his actual hand. Leo whines before his eyes open. He quickly sits up with a yell, tears in his eyes and his arm extended as if he was reaching to something... or perhaps someone.

“N-NO!”

Donnie lets out a startled yelp, jumping back and holding his hands up in a defensive position. He quickly fixes his composure, staring at Leo with a worried expression when seeing his tears.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, not sure how to approach the situation in front of him though he’s going to have to figure out soon as Leo has now noticed he was there.

“Uh… H-Hey, Leo…?”

Leo is stunned for a moment before quickly moving his hands to wipe away his tears.

“H-Hey, Don! What um… wh-what brings you uh… why are you in my room…?”

Donnie didn’t say anything at first, surprised by how fast Leo was able to act as though nothing happened. He couldn’t help but wonder how often Leo’s done this before that it looked so convincing he was okay… He then remembers that he had to say something.

“Raph sent me to check on you… doesn’t look like you were having a good sleep though… Bad dream?”

Donnie asks as he now looks to Leo who frowns as he confirms that he was in his room while he was having a nightmare. Leo glances to the side, not saying anything before proceeding to nod.

“Y… Yeah…”

He mutters as he wipes away his last lingering tear. Donnie notices this but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he takes a seat at the edge of Leo’s bed, staring away to avoid eye contact.

“Ah… Those do suck, huh…? Well um… As you already know I’m not good with the whole ‘emotions’ mumbo jumbo… but if you need someone to talk to… whenever you feel like talking about… I’m here, brother…”

Donnie looks to Leo with a reassuring smile, much to his surprise. Leo couldn’t help but smile in return.

“…Okay… Thanks, D.”

Leo responds, receiving a pat from Donnie. There was an awkward silence between the two once Donnie moved his arm away.

Eventually Donnie clears his throat, getting up off of Leo’s bed. He returns his attention to Leo who stares up at him.

“You um… want some coffee?”

“Uh… Yeah… coffee would be nice. Two-“

“Two spoons of sugar and some coffee creamer?”

Donnie interrupts, Leo surprised that his brother knows exactly how he likes his coffee. He stumbles on his words before managing to speak.

“Y-Yeah that’s um… How do you know exactly how I like my coffee?”

Leo asks with a curious expression to which Donnie crosses his arms with a small scoff.

“You think I’d forget something as minuscule as that? I keep tabs on everything. What you guys are into, what you’re afraid of, general dislikes, etcetera.”

Donnie goes on to explain. Leo stares as Donnie before managing to smile.

“Wow, Don. Didn’t think you were so thoughtful. What happened to that ‘bad boy’ image you’ve been working on?”

Leo receives a glare from Donnie which only makes his smirk grow wider.

“Keep making jabs at me, ‘Nardo, and you won’t get coffee.”

Donnie flicks Leo’s forehead who lets out an exaggerated whine.

“Okay okay… Ow…”

“Oh shush. I know that didn’t hurt you.”

Leo couldn’t help but chuckle as Donnie sees right through his act. When he looks back up at Donnie he sees him smiling.

“…I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Can do!”

“I doubt it.”

“Hey!”

Donnie chuckles as he leaves Leo’s room. The red-eared slider watches as his soft shell brother leaves, his smile falling flat as he stares down at his injured body. Flashes of his dream replay in his mind which causes him to frown, a guilty look in his expression has his hands clench into a fist. He still hasn’t forgiven himself for the mistake he made that nearly cost him his brothers… his families life…

His hands unclench as he lets out a heavy sigh, glancing to the side and looking to the crutches on the side of his bed. With a determined expression he grabs them and starts to get up. ‘I’m tired of just laying around in bed and being a burden… Time for me to get up!’

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #tmnt #rise of the tmnt #my fics

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