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kneelingshadowsalome · 9 months

Note

Hi! If you're still taking requests I'd love request a drabble about the moment when Konig and Reader first noticed each other and what they thought/felt during that moment based on your "Just Friends" fic.

Btw I love your work and oh my god, it's perfection, absolutely amazing. Super excited to read chapter 3&4 (no rush take your time!!)

Thabj you!!!

Even Demons are Lonely

Wordcount: 3.8 k

Summary: König sees reader for the first time. Soon, the promise to never touch someone as lovely as her turns into a vow to never leave her side.

Tags/warnings: F!Reader, König POV, Just Friends universe. Angst, twisted & fluffy feelings, pining, obsessive behavior, stalking, panty stealing, mentions of past trauma, abuse and patricide, yandere!König falling in love (=being delusional). Mild sexual and violent themes.

A/N: I did take my time with this one... 🩷 And it's only König POV, but I hope you enjoy! 💋

"Abashed the Devil stood, and felt how awful goodness is, and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely – saw, and pined His loss..."

– John Milton, Paradise Lost

Purgatory.

That's the word that stuck to him when he was learning English at school, simply because it was an accurate definition of how he felt.

Adults used to say there is heaven and hell, and then this world, the world of humans, somewhere in between. They said he would go to heaven after he died and that bad people would go to hell.

They were all liars because hell already existed here on Earth. He had lived there ever since he was born.

The first memories of the cutting are shallow and pale, like they happened to some other boy. With every hit and cut and every cry, the sounds turned muddy until he was mute too, until all he could hear was mother's crying and Papa's roaring. The old man always got more mad when people cried and cowered.

That's when he knew he would someday do something about bad people, that crying and cowering and begging wasn't going to help. It was the birth hour of hope and heaven. He dreamed of killing his father, killing his "friends", killing everyone who looked at him like he was a freak.

He soon learned that this was not what people associated with heaven at all. He learned that there was a word for people like him, for phantoms who were morbidly interested in death and decay.

Ghoul.

A grave robber and a corpse feaster he was not, but neither was he going to pretend that some people didn't deserve to be gutted. If being normal meant he should just play along and pretend that there was justice in this world, then he was happy to be morbid. A little ghoul boy who grew up in hell, who dreamed of heaven, who slipped behind the thin veil between the worlds when he was four, who learned how to make the knives dance while everyone around him suffered.

He learned to cry and beg before he learned to speak, but when the words finally started to make sense to him, he had no use for them. No one wanted to talk to him, so he settled to observe. Life was a film reel running by, and words were useless when all he wanted to do was roar. There was a growing, gaping maw inside him, shrieking and spitting blood while he was without a voice.

It took a while to make Papa cry and beg. But he begged, eventually. In his last words, he tried to hide behind a woman’s skirt.

"Don't do this to your mother," was a plea that didn't ignite mercy: it drove him off the ledge. Looking at the horrible excuse for a man squirming at his feet made him realize he should've released his mother from this demon years ago. He was too weak, and he vowed to himself, to the whole world, that he would never be weak again.

………………

Sometimes, a glimpse of true heaven can be seen on a clear summer's day when the sun shines, when bees are buzzing and a beautiful voice sings a love song on the radio. Beautiful, peaceful things only add to his suffering. They are simply evidence gathered – examples of everything he will never have.

The air clots inside his mask with a brew of old sweat and acrid gunpowder. It's usually enriched by a hot desert wind or the stench of dust and emissions, a city's rotten core. It would feel odd to be met with a fresh breeze or the smell of rust and smoke than have them dampened by the baggy mask. He's certain that it would only be painful to feel the full brunt of the world on his naked face again. His enemies can't see him when he kills them, so they can't haunt him either.

He is the only ghoul here. He is the one who haunts.

He's learned to let love and peace go. He came here to reap; that's his job. Ghouls cannot love or be loved. They are supposed to get rid of the plague, do what normal people can't do, what good people deem hideous and wrong.

People have always been alien to him: they both know something he cannot seem to decode and are unaware of the constant presence of the Maw. He has to feed it in order to not be swallowed by it himself. It helps with the constant yelling for a while.

His father was the first demon to be punished, but he has learned that all demons are liars when they beg. They don't know what real hell is like. That's why he didn't give mercy to his father, and that's why he doesn't give mercy to them, either. It's not hell, it's not heaven, so he must be in a limbo state in between.

That's why he calls this place purgatory.

………………

He sees a woman under the sun one day.

The sheer sight of her sitting there on her little blanket spread over the grass, dressed in a pure white dress is like a torturing dream from above. It stops him in his tracks like there is suddenly an invisible wall in front of him, forcing him to halt.

His heart is pounding, but that's not new. His heart is always tight and racing, and that's why it's better to have a heavy gun in his hands than hold onto nothing at all; it's better to do something than do nothing at all. The only thing that calms the endless roil inside him is work; when there's no work, it helps to go outdoors, somewhere between the shadows between thick trees.

Trees are better than people...

But they're not better than a woman like her.

He knows his mind plays tricks sometimes with females. That is why at first he thinks that the creature before him is not from this world either. How could someone like her even end up here? There are few ladies in the base, and none of them have picnics; none of them look like angels.

She looks up at the sky, at the single cloud drifting across the cerulean blue that hurts his eyes. Sun shines on her exposed throat, her stare is dreamy as she basks in the warmth and raises an apple to her lips.

He stops breathing as she takes a bite, fearing it might stain the beautiful white dress from how juicy it is. The runaway apple juice drips down her chin, but she catches it with her finger, then sweeps the sweet taste of it back into her mouth.

Her lips hug the finger gently as she savors the treat, and his breath returns to him, heavy and with a pang, like someone just punched him between the lungs.

She can't be human...

He wonders if she's even real.

He's hungry, but the need to devour this woman turns into a need to worship her before he can even decipher what is happening to him. He would grovel at her feet if that's what it took to get her to feed him some of that fruit. His mind goes numb from the need to march there and hug her. Just hold her, so close that he forgets what it is to breathe.

He knows she would only scream, and it's good he's been walking in the shade. It's good that she can't see him unless she turns her head. Because she must be an angel, and angels have no business with ghouls.

He should go and leave her be... Mortals he can want, humans he can torture, but a celestial being he could never touch. The wind carries a whiff of apple juice to his nose; it overrides the stench of sweat and gun oil and smoke.

And then the angel turns her head.

It's Judgment Day, but she doesn't condemn him. She blinks a few times, lashes fluttering like he's another sun, the dreaded black sun, and she can't bear to look directly at him. But there's no disgust, no uneasiness, there's no fear. There's only shyness and the smallest smile.

The pain inside his gut turns into a brutal stab, pure suffering. He hasn't hoped for anything for a long, long time. Now hope bleeds into his stomach with golden tingles, like those rays of sun that caress her skin.

He thought good things would feel… well, good, but to his horror, they feel painful too. She's painfully sweet. Even the demon inside him falls silent, the only demon he cannot destroy. It's finally quiet, as it should be. Everything in him bows to this greater power of Her.

But she can't be real... His mind is sick and has finally conjured up the most beautiful thing he can never, ever have. He's been called a freak, he's been called a dumb ugly giant, he's been called so many things, but he's not stupid enough to think that the creature hugged by the golden aura of light is meant for him.

So he squares his shoulders and pushes through the invisible wall, back behind the veil, back to where he belongs, and leaves the heavenly apparition in the sun.

………………

The next time he sees her is after a mission and inside the base.

He brings mud and blood inside after a few rainy days spent in the mountains. He's so soaked that not even the 3-hour flight managed to dry all the dirt. She's waiting for him, or that's how it feels like when she gives him a small, relieved smile and starts to clean the mess he and every other operator leave behind.

His angel is not only a celestial visage but a cleaner.

She keeps the building that houses people who destroy life, clean. She scrubs the filth killers like him bring inside the cold, dead compound built on what used to be a forest full of birds, life, and wind through the trees.

No one thanks this girl as she humbly dusts a table or mops the floor. No one understands that she's a saint for coming to the purgatory and making it a more decent place for the demons and ghouls to live. And she's relieved every time he comes back unharmed. She's happy to see he's alive. There's someone waiting for him. And not just someone, not just anyone, but an angel.

It's unbelievable how no one has claimed her yet. She has no one to keep her safe, and it makes his hands twitch. If he was her protector, she would never have to work again.

She's not like the rest of them: she doesn't turn her gaze away when he flicks a knife out. She likes to watch him make them dance. It's a ritual that makes him invincible on the battlefield. He used to do it every morning before school to stay safe – there were no angels back then to keep him alive.

He almost stops the first time he sees her watching how he goes through the rite.

No, look away, little angel... You're not supposed to see this; this is a death dance, it's filthy, demonic magic.

But she's not afraid of his blades or the way he weaves his spell of protection. The girl follows his moves entranced. Her eyes shine, and he nearly drops the blade – he hasn't dropped a knife since he was ten – because there's hunger in her stare. Not as fathomless as his, but deep enough for him to recognize it.

His angel is lonely and trapped too.

He completes the dance, returns the knife to his pocket, and looks back, straight back.

She doesn't look away. She doesn't wince or lean back, no: she leans forward, and he can see it, the way her pulse flutters on her neck, the way her mouth opens even more, how a tiny pink tongue sweeps across her lips as she looks back into the jaws of damnation. It takes him a while to realize his angel must be wet, just from seeing how good he is with a knife. The notion doesn't only make his cock jolt; it throws him headfirst into the abyss.

You'll never get rid of me now, the demon growls before he can choke him silent.

Her wet eyes, her wet, promising lips belong in a realm of madness. She's not filthy; his angel could never be filthy. But she's seducing him, which means she might seduce other men too.

Has someone claimed her already…?

What if she has a lover? Do they make her legs shake, do they make her mew?

Who does he have to kill?

………………

He breaks into her room that night.

He only meant to stand watch and see if someone creeps to her in the cover of darkness. He thinks about different ways to kill her lover as he waits near her door. Should he just strangle them when they enter her room? Make her an offering, let her know she could have a far more powerful male if she wants?

No, he must use a knife... She will get wet if he uses a knife.

But no one appears: he is the only shadow in the dark hall, and after midnight, he decides to take a look at his innocent, sleeping angel. Just one look.

Her domain is full of softness, and he has to take a few deep breaths before he continues. Her world is so different from his that he nearly turns back and closes the door to paradise. But then her breathing calls to him, causing him to take a few steps. She sleeps with her window open, likes to listen to the sound of night birds before she falls asleep – just like he does…

The demon is awake in an instant and grabs him by the throat.

No.

Don’t look. If you look, she will steal your soul.

He freezes before he reaches her bed. His gaze sweeps her room instead, and the demon pants at the sight. Her dresses are laid out on a clothing rack: they salute him like a row of colorful flowers. Flowing and singing like a river, they hit him with a breeze made of life and all things good.

She has a little armchair filled with cushions, and there's more softness and beauty everywhere he looks; he can see it even in the darkness of the night. Her delicate perfume that follows him as he follows her around the base lingers in the air and mixes with the distant birdsong and moonlight that shift the curtains in her room.

There's art on her walls, lively houseplants on the window sill, she has collected a cavalcade of cute little things on top of her drawer: nail polish and sea shells and beeswax candles and a piece of driftwood, a bottle of that perfume she uses, decorative lights above it all, placed around a small mirror.

He wants all of that.

He wants light and living things and greenery – he never had plants at home – he wants softness and cute little items, he wants to listen if the seashell still roars with the crashing waves were he to bring it to his ear. His mama always told him seashells remember the ocean because it used to be their home…

He wants her to light a honeyed candle and give him a bite of that apple, catch the juice as it runs down his scarred chin, or better yet, kiss it away before it falls. He wants to taste what's between her thighs. She must taste like honey and heaven.

One of the drawers is open, and from it, a torrent of cute little underthings is spilling out; they almost cascade on the floor. In different colors, too, and his hand reaches out and takes one before he can even think. He steals it like it's candy, then turns around with a stiff back and shoulders heavy from the sin he just committed.

He's about to go to the door, but her soft breathing calls him back. He tries to calm the demon - the girl can't steal anything: there's nothing left to steal. He has no soul, so he doesn't have to fear her either.

Taking a few steps, he takes the peek he shouldn't take because it will only prolong his sentence in purgatory. Little does the demon know that he would suffer eternally for one little glimpse…

She's not cocooned inside her blanket as he thought she would be. He thought he would find her coiled into a fetal position, curled into safety, but instead, she's sleeping on her back, arms spread next to her face, looking like she just fell from heaven and is feeling a little dizzy from the fall. She's calm and innocent as the moonlight brushes her cheek, her face free from all worry.

Why is she so cute, why is she so sweet?

She has no right. She should be up in heaven.

He almost crawls on top of her right then and there, because blinding want is nothing compared to this. He wants to breathe her, breathe with her, hold her gently, and have her smile at him when she wakes up. He doesn't want to ruin her… He just wants a taste, see if an angel would like to have a demon worship her. If his worship would mean anything, if it had any power to persuade her to like him...

He would never kneel before anyone, but he would kneel before her. In spirit, he is on his knees, and the only thing that makes him suffer is the fear that she might not want him, a ruined temple haunted by old, hateful spirits.

The madness was right. Apparently, there was a soul to steal, a tiny broken mosaic piece left, for the angel has it now. She owns what's left of him, the haunted temple is hers if she would ever want to come visit. He would restrain all those monsters so that she can walk freely and explore all the things buried under the rubble.

Her underwear burns his palm like a flower on fire. He only then realizes that there are no actual flowers in her room. He wonders if she would give him a kiss if he were to bring her one. Or two. Or an entire bouquet…

The demon inside cuts him with a searing blade – stupid idiot – she doesn't want to kiss your mauled face or love your ghouls. There's no treasure hidden inside that filthy rubble, there's only shit and blood and festering vomit. Better to just take her right now, see how tight she is, how wide her eyes go when a proper man comes to assert his will and authority. The demon tells him to at least ruin that cute thing in his hand and throw it on the table. Imagine her shocked little face when she wakes up…

Tears brim, and the maw of hell laughs with a roar of raging fire. He forces both down with a swallow and a wrench that shuts his heart.

There's no way she would ever let a man like him inside her. He's a sickness; no, he's an entire plague. He could try to make love to her, and she would only cry and bleed to death.

The smooth place between her brows gains a wrinkle as if she can hear his thoughts but doesn't agree with them. A little whimper escapes her nose, her head nods on the pillow; it looks like an attempt to hide while you're tied and cannot move.

Pretty angel is having a nightmare, and it's no wonder. Of course she can sense she's being visited by a monster.

He turns to leave, and notices another colorful thing on the floor: her underwear, and not clean. She's slipped out of it before bed: his angel is naked under that blanket. His angel sleeps naked…

He wonders if she has touched herself before sleep. Not with feverish, stern hands, like he does, but softly, under that blanket, with her features melting into pleasure as she comes with sighs and a series of desperate little whimpers.

His blood turns to hellfire as he drops the underwear he's holding. It falls right next to the intoxicating thing he picks up instead. Taking a deep inhale, he can finally smell her. Not just her perfume, but her. She smells of an angel and a woman, raw, perfect woman, and he knows he's lost. This is worse than any dream or demon; this is worse than anything ever before. There's no going back now.

Her scent calls to him, those hands frame her face in a gesture of surrender. She smiled at him on that day under the sun, and she smiled at him today.

What if he's spent enough time in hell? What if it's possible to have a taste of heaven?

He can't help but wonder if his angel wants this too...

“Engel,” he whispers into the night.

It takes only a second before she whimpers again. It's an answer, it's a yes, and his heart is full of tiny needles; they pinch him with terrible love and hope. The wrinkle has smoothed out, and his angel is smiling very, very softly.

She's calling for him. How could he refuse?

His angel is full of light as he makes his decision. He whispers his apology, only in his mind and only in German, trusting that angels must know every language in the world. He asks for her forgiveness for all the things he's about to do to her. Then he promises he will come for her, that she doesn't need to worry: she has a guardian now and always will. She will be forever safe with him by her side. He will drive even her nightmares away.

Then he returns to his room so different from hers, returns to the realm of death and worships the thing he just stole, spraying it with hot, white love - the only thing inside him that can be called pure, the color of angels. It's only a matter of time before he gets to worship her in the flesh, unite with her, the soul who forgave his sins and slipped him the key to heaven.

#könig x reader #könig x you #könig fanfiction #yandere könig #soft yandere #male yandere #obsessive love #cw: stalking #cw: dark content

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milaisreading · 9 months

Note

Need part 2 to know what happened to lavinho after everyone find out 💀

🌱🩷: Here u goo!! Thank u for the request and I hope u like it.

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

"Fuck...fuck...fuck..." (Y/n) on repeating as Lorenzo looked desperate to make her stop. He looked around the room nervously and tried to find something to entertain her.

'Ahhh Lavinho, why did you open your mouth?!' Lorenzo thought, finding one of his footballs a whistling.

"Hey, (Y/n)!" He yelled, causing the girl to look at him in surprise.

"Watch this!" He started kicking the football up in the air repeatedly, which for a 2 years old was enough to be impressed by. (Y/n) gasped and watched with wide eyes as Lorenzo kept performing the same trick.

'Hopefully this will distract her enough to forget the word.' He looked over at the toddler.

'I still wonder when she will return to her normal self... it's been over a week...'

"So, mind talking?" Noa glared down at a pouting Lavinho, who was being glared at by Bachira and Otoya as well.

"Look, it was an accident. I didn't expect her to remember that word of all things."

Snuffy sighed, sending a warning glare towards Barou and Niko, who looked ready to make a snide remark.

"And how and why did you say it om front of her?! My poor child..." Chris sniffed, earning embarrassed looks from Chigiri and Reo, meanwhile Nagi was filming everything.

'Wonderful blackmail.' He thought.

"Alright, alright. It was a mistake, it happens-"

"No it doesn't, Snuffy!" Chris and Barou yelled.

"As I was saying! Accidents happen." Snuffy repeated, looking at the two.

"Did Ness wake up?" Loki looked over at Kaiser, who nodded his head while pointing at the boy.

"Yes, Isagi and Kunigami are explaining what had happened." Loki looked over at the German team, shivering a little as he saw the look Ness was sending towards Lavinho.

"A-anyways, maybe an explanation on why you said it in front of her will help?" Loki suggested, looking at Noa for help.

"Julian is right. What even happened?" Noa questioned the man, now all the attention on the Brazilian.

"Well... you remember how (Y/n) wanted to spend time with me the other day-"

"You took her! It was my time to play with her." Loki corrected the man, earning a snicker from Karasu.

"So lame." Rin comments as Tokimitsu looked nervously at a pissed off Yukimiya and Hiori.

'They are so scary when mad.'

"As I was saying!" Lavinho spoke up again.

"I was carrying her around and she... kind of... you know..."

"What?" Chris asked.

"She kind of slipped, out of my hands." The room fell silent for a moment as they looked at Lavinho in disbelief.

"So you let her fall on the ground?!"

"Coach, what the hell man?!" Bachira and Otoya yelled, murderous auras surrounding them both.

"Calm down you two." Kunigami said, sending a glare at Lavinho as well.

"I caught her before she hit the ground! And it kind of slipped out of my mouth!" He added in quickly, shivering a little at the silent looks Snuffy and Noa were sending him.

"It kind of slipped your mouth?! How about my fist slips onto your face!" Chris argued, red in the face. Loki took his time to hold Rin back from attacking Lavinho.

"Stop it, Rin." The Frenchman warned.

"Let me go." The younger said back.

"Kurona, what are you doing with your teeth? Please don't bite him." Isagi told the pink-haired boy.

"But!"

"No- Yukimiya! Help Hiori hold Ness back!" The brunette stopped death staring at the Brazilian coach and looked over at the said duo. And true enough, Hiori was trying his best to hold Ness back from killing the man.

Kaiser, Gagamaru, Niko, and Aryu were simply glaring at Lavinho, not saying anything since they were scared of Snuffy and Noa's glares.

"This is why I don't leave you alone with her! My poor child must have been scared at that moment!" Chris sighed dramatically as he walked over to them. The trio from Manshine were busy hiding knives from Barou and Kunigami.

"What happened, Lorenzo? Why did you need extra clothes?" The Italian looked nervously at Anri, his face a bright red shade.

"I-I-I..." Lorenzo gulped as Anri raised her eyebrow.

"What happened? Did (Y/n) throw up on you?" The woman asked, inspecting his clean clothes.

"N-no... I promise, I didn't see anything!" The Italian defended himself.

"See what?"

"(Y-Y/n) returned back to normal." Lorenzo said, turning redder.

"What?! Oh thank God! I was so worried this will last forever!" Anri sighed in relief, then looked at Lorenzo in confusion.

"Why do you look worried? And why did you need the clothes?"

"Well... uhm..." He fidgeted around. It took Anri a moment, then her eyes widened in realization.

"O-oh! I will deal with it. Stay here!" Anri said, walking into Lorenzo's room.

A while later, Anri walked out of the room.

"It's fine now, she just fell asleep. I hope you don't mind." The woman said.

"I-it's fine. Should I leave her here or?" Lorenzo asked, walking into his room and looked at (Y/n)'s sleeping form.

"You can bring her to her room." Anri shrugged, groaning as she got another call from Ego.

The boy nodded his head and carefully put (Y/n) on his back, carrying her put of the room.

"Whatever had possessed (Y/n), exhausted her enough to fall asleep so fast." Lorenzo muttered to himself, smiling a little as he glanced at her sleeping face.

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muwapsturniolo · 3 months

Text

✯Malevolent PT.1✯

Black!reader

Summary: Turns out I'm living in a horror film Where I'm both the killer and the final girl. So who, who are you?

In the small town of Somerville Massachusetts, a bloodbath is brewing, and Y/N Lyoncourt is in the middle of it.

games played with cell phones, gruesome murders, and scary movies

how will she survive?

Warning: alchol, swearing, stalking, gore, stabbing, knives, mentions of blood as well as organs. cheating, death, killing. read at your own risk.

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

It was a crisp fall night in the town of Somerville Massachusettes. Branches on the trees remain naked as their leaves wisp across the ground due to the cold wind. Street lamps casting a warm glow down the vacant streets.

A particular street was dimly lit, the only source of light being the moon. Right under the moonlight sits a house with only one member inside.

Kehlani Summers.

The head cheerleader of Somerville High, the popular girl, the bitch that most people couldn’t stand.

Her parents were gone, leaving her to her own devices. She chose to invite her boyfriend, Dylan Holmes, over and watch scary movies before they got in the real “action”.

He was the captain of the hockey team and the most popular boy in school. girls foamed at the mouth for him, even some teachers.

They were a classic match made in heaven.

The perfect high school couple.

A typical cliche.

The perfect victims

Kehlani had just put popcorn on the stove when her phone rang. With her AirPods in, she answers the call without thinking of checking the caller ID.

“Hello?”

Kehlani frowns in confusion hearing the deep raspy voice, but carries on with her task of pouring a shot of her mother's alcohol. “Hello? Who's calling?” She says. “Oh sorry, I must have the wrong number! My apologies.”

Kehlani rolls her eyes in annoyance, "Clearly. Bye"

She double-taps the small bud attached to her ear and takes her shot. As soon as she slams the shot glass down, her phone rings again. Thinking it's her boyfriend, she answers it.

"Hello? Dylan?"

"No, it's me again."

Her face scrunches up, "You clearly have the wrong number, so why the hell did you call back?" Her voice clearly holds vexation.

"I wanted to apologize." She huffs and walks around her kitchen, ditching the shot glass and just carrying the bottle. "Well, apology accepted. Now stop calling" She goes to hang up once again, but is stopped by the voice begging her to wait.

"Hold on! Don't hang up!" She peeks outside into the dark abyss before walking towards the stove. "Why shouldn't I? You're being annoying."

The voice chuckles, "I want to talk to you."

"Why so you can jerk off to my voice like a perv? Go get your fap material somewhere else bozo." She hangs up and snatches her AirPods out her ear, putting them back in the case.

She feels her body slowly start to get warm from the Titos, her movements beginning to slow. Just as she checks the popcorn, her phone rings again. She looks at the caller ID and sees it says unknown.

"This guy is annoying as shit," she grumbles before picking it up once again.

Maybe she should talk to him until Dylan gets here? She is bored and Dylan is late.

"Hello?" She speaks into the phone, jumping on the kitchen island.

"Why don't you want to talk to me?" The man asks. His voice is laced with faux confusion. "Because you're being weird. Now who is this?" she says as she watches the popcorn. "Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine." She scoffs and hops off the island, standing by the stove.

"Don't think so buddy"

"What's that noise?"

she takes another swig of Titos before answering. "Popcorn"

"I love popcorn. It's best at the movies. Why are you making popcorn?" Kehlani finds herself smiling softly at the question. Maybe it's because she's intoxicated, or because the stranger on the phone seemed genuinely curious about her night. "I'm watching a movie."

"Movie? I love movies. Do you like scary movies?"

Kehlani nods only to remember the stranger can't see her. "uh-huh"

''what's your favorite?"

The girl ponders for a moment. She honestly wasn't big on scary movies, she only dabbled. "Probably Pearl."

The stranger scoffs, "Pearl? that's not even scary and it was boring!" The girl shrugs. "Well you asked my favorite and I told you...what's yours."

"House of A Thousand Corpses."

She frowns at the name, "Never heard and it sounds gory"

"Oh, it is. Lots of blood and violence." His voice almost sounds distant, like he was fantasizing about the movie. A small shiver runs up her body.

"So, you got a boyfriend?"

Kehlani smirks at the question "Why you wanna ask me out?"

It's no secret that the teenage girl wasn't loyal to her boyfriend. hell, he wasn't loyal to her either. They both found fun in cheating on each other and making the other mad.

"Maybe. Do you have one?''

"No." She lies through her teeth.

The voice chuckles, "You know, you never told me your name."

"Why do you want to know my name so bad?'' She takes another swig of the vodka.

"Because I want to know who I'm looking at"

She chokes on the burning liquor, spitting it out over the counter. She coughs for a few seconds before speaking back into the phone, her voice scratchy. "W-what did you say?"

"I said I want to know who I'm talking to." She stands in the middle of the kitchen confused.

Was it the alcohol making her hear things? Was she truly correct in what she heard?

"T-that's not what you said..." She catches what she thinks is movement in her backyard. She clicks on the light only to see nothing. She flips off the light and locks the patio door.

"What do you think I said?'' his voice begins to make her uneasy, his tone almost predatory. "I-I have to go now!" she exclaims as she becomes apprehensive about this whole thing.

"I thought we were going to go out?"

"Tough shit"

"Don't hang up on me!"

"Fuck off!"

"Don-click" She throws her phone down on the counter and chugs a bottle of water in an attempt to sober up. Her phone rings once again and she debates on answering it.

The constant ringing annoys her and she snatches the phone up,

"I told you not to hang up on me."

"And I told you to fuck off!" She hangs up once again, only for the stranger to immediately call back. A noise of frustration leaves her throat as she answers.

"Listen ass- NO YOU LISTEN YOU LITTLE BITCH! IF YOU HANG UP ON ME AGAIN I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A PIG AND USE YOUR ORGANS AS THE DUMB LITTLE POMPOMS YOU LOVE!"

Her blood runs cold at the lurid words. Her whole body is tense as the hairs on her arms stand up. "I-is this some kind of joke?" She whimpers.

"More like a game."

She swears she heard the front door jingle, so she rushes towards it and locks it. She maneuvers through the whole house, locking every entrance door including the windows.

"I'm two seconds away from calling the police!" She threatens. The voice laughs, "Do it, they won't make it in time. After all, your parents moved you to a house that's about 3 miles from the nearest neighbors and about 10 from town."

Tears form in her eyes when she realizes they do in fact know where she lives. "W-what do you want? Money? I'll give you money!"

"I don't want money."

"Then what do you want?"

"To see what your insides look like."

She quickly hangs up the phone and throws it across the room, trepidation flowing through her system. The doorbell ringing pulls a scream from her throat. She rushes towards the door but stops in her tracks.

Swinging open the door could be a bad idea.

"Hello?"

Silence.

"Dylan is that you?"

Silence.

"Fuck this! I'm calling the cops!" She rushes towards her phone that's on the floor. As she picks it up, it begins to vibrate in her hand.

unknown caller

Her hand trembles as she raises it to her ear. She says nothing, waiting for the stranger to speak. All she hears is loud and ragged breathing.

"Don't you know you should never say who's there? It's a death wish." The voice states. She clutches the wall and slides down as she begins to cry. "Leave me alone or- Or what?" The stranger taunts.

"M-my boyfriend will be here any minute! He will beat your ass when he finds out!" Usually threatening other people with her boyfriend works,

But not this time.

"I thought you didn't have a boyfriend."

"I-I do! He's big, and strong, and plays hockey! And he will beat your ass when he finds out who the hell you are!"

"Ohhh I'm so scared!" The stranger coos.

"Hey Kehlani, I have a question for you." She clenches her eyes shut hearing the stranger state her name. "Your boyfriend's name wouldn't happen to be Dylan, would it?''

"How do you know our names?!"

The stranger doesn't answer her question, simply telling her to look at her back patio.

Terrified of what she would find, but still intoxicated enough to listen, She hesitantly makes her way to her kitchen to look at the patio.

"I-I don't see- Turn on the light and stop acting like a dumb bitch!" She flinches and turns on the light.

The sight she's met with is frightening.

Her hockey player boyfriend is bound to a chair with rope, his mouth gagged and taped shut.

His face is bloody, but he's alive.

She lets out a loud sob at the sight and tries to run out to help him, but stops when the voice stranger speaks to her.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He clicks his tongue three times and the girl can only imagine him shaking his head.

"Who are you?!" she screams in frustration.

"let's play a game."

"No!"

"Then your boyfriend dies!" She quickly pleads for the stranger to leave him alone.

"Then play the game or he dies." She quickly agrees.

"Turn off the light and go into the living room." She looks at Dylan as he pleads for her to save him. She turns off the light and makes her way to the living room.

"Here's the game, I'm going to test your knowledge on scary movies. if you answer correctly, Dylan lives. If you answer wrong... well I suggest you start writing your will."

She clenches her eyes at the thought of her death.

She tries to think of a way around this. She sees a lamp in the corner and quickly yanks it out of the socket. They can't kill her if they can't see...Right?

"Let's start.... name the killer in Halloween."

She rakes her brain trying to find the answer but she's drawing a blank. There's too much going on for her to think clearly.

The stranger knows that.

"Oh come on! it's easy! I'll even give you a hint! He had a white mask and stalked babysitters!"

"I-I can't think!" she's panicking.

"Yes you can! Use that pretty little head of yours!"

Finally...a godsent

"M-Michael Myers!"

"Yes! See? You should do fine! Dylan should live. now, name the killer from Friday The 13th!" She shakes her head, she's only on the second question and is tired of this game.

"P-please stop.." She begs.

"Answer the question"

"Jason?... it's Jason!" She remembers the movie because Dylan made her watch it.

The stranger imitates a buzzing noise, "Wrong! It wasn't Jason." She frowns in confusion. "Y-yes it was! I remember!' she urges.

"No"

"I saw the movie like twenty times! It's Jason!"

"If you say the movie like twenty damn times you would know that Ms. Vorhees, Jason's mother, was the goddamn killer! Jason didn't show up until the sequel."

She stands in the living room, stupified. Maybe she should have paid attention to the movie instead of trying to fuck her boyfriend.

"Y-you tricked me... You cheated!" she yells in anger. The stranger laughs. "Oh like you? You remember all the times you cheated on your boyfriend?" she freezes at his words.

"That doesn't matter anymore, he's out of this round and the rest to come. Lucky for you, there's a bonus round."

She's in hysterics at this point, her whole body shaking and her vision blurry.

She rushes to the kitchen and flips on the patio light.

A gut-wrenching scream leaves her mouth when she sees her boyfriend.

Blood is pouring out of his throat, coating his whole body. The mouth gag he has on is also coated, a clear indication that he is choking on his own blood.

And the most gory part,

His stomach was sliced open, his organs lay in a heaping pile on the ground, steam rising from them as if they were being cooked.

She covers her mouth and quickly rushes towards the trashcan, throwing up the alcohol in her stomach. She collapses to the ground. sobbing in fright. The image of her lover engraved in her mind.

"I have one more question for you princess."

"N-no! Leave me alone!" She pleads helplessly. She's tired of this whole night. What was supposed to be a chill evening, turned into her being hunted like prey.

She sits on the floor, knees to her chest as she rocks back and forth like a child.

"Come on pretty girl, answer the question, and i'll let you live."

She doesn't say anything.

"What door am I at?"

She sobs even harder.

"Come on. There's two main doors to your home. The front and the side door. pick "

"I- can't!" The voice sighs out in what seems like boredom. "You will. now answer."

Kehlnai shakily stands up and grabs a sharp knife from her mother's chopping block. She holds it close as she stands in the kitchen.

"The side door?" She questions softly.

The man laughs making her freeze.

"Wrong! I'm not there but he is!"

She screams as the glass behind her shatters, a lawn chair landing close to her. She takes off running from the kitchen as a shadowy figure creeps through the broken glass, the knife in her hand long forgotten. She rushes through the foyer, fleeing to the side door in an attempt to escape the big home.

She creeps around the house, trying to see where the killer is, and get away from him to safety. She comes up on the side of the house where three curtainless windows sit. She crouches down and begins to crawl along the concrete, her knees burning at the rough pavement. She peeks her head through the first window and sees the killer walking into the foyer.

She ducks back down before getting to the second window. This time, the killer is looking in the foyer closet searching for the girl.

She gets to the third window, hoping he's nowhere to be found.

Unfortunately, when she peeks into the window, she comes face to face with her reflection and a white mask.

A blood-curdling scream is pulled from her throat as a hand shoots through the glass and wraps around her neck, attempting to yank her inside through the window.

She fights, swinging her arms and pushing them away, her bare feet stepping into the glass. she manages to break free and takes off towards the front of the house, tripping over her own feet as she maneuvers through the wet grass.

In the distance, she sees a set of headlights turning up her driveway.

Her parents!

She begins screaming, waving her arms vigorously in an attempt to flag them down, hoping they can save her from the masked killer.

Unfortunately, they can't.

She's tackled to the ground, her phone flying out of her hand and landing a few feet away from her. Her body is violently flipped over, her back being pushed into the mud as the killer straddles her. She attempts to fight back, not giving up just yet.

The masked killer gets irritated with her fighting and raises their arm, the blade of the knife glimmering in the moonlight.

it happens so fast, the killer's arm swinging down expeditiously, the blade plunging deep into the girl's chest.

Her jaw drops open in pain, nothing but a croak leaving her throat.

He removes the knife, both of them looking towards the crimson color blossoming through the threads of her sweater.

She spots a rock by her legs and takes her chance.

Just as the killer raises his blade once again, she snatches the rock and slams it against his head. He falls off of her, grabbing the side of his head in pain. The girl manages to rise to her feet, snatching her phone from the ground, and staggering toward her parent who are now exiting the parked Cadillac.

She opens her mouth to call for help, but it seems as if her own vocal cords fail her, no sound coming from her mouth.

Her parents remain oblivious to their bloody daughter. Even though she is only 10 feet away from them, they fail to see her reaching out, longing for them to save her.

A sharp pain emerges in her shoulder blade, sending her to the ground. She begins to heave in pain, her whole body aching from all the fighting she has been doing. She's turned back over, her ankles being grabbed as she dragged through the yard.

Her once-cream sweater was now covered in blood and mud.

Her hearing is going in and out, a loud ringing in her left ear while her right ear is filled with the pounding of her heart. The cellular device still in her grip begins to vibrate.

Oddly enough, there isn't any more fright in her body.

She knows this is the end for her.

She's come to terms that she will die tonight.

She declines the call, welcoming death with open arms.

The masked figure drops her legs, making her look up at him.

It feels as if her eyes are playing tricks on her as two killers stand in her field of vision. They look at each other, nodding, before dropping to their knees and proceeding to stab the girl repeatedly.

She begins to choke and sputter on her own blood, her body lurching at each mutilation being made to her body. Her blood coats the masks, splotches of blood dripping down onto their already bloody gowns.

They each land one final blow into her chest before they watch the light leave her eyes.

The two killers move silently and quickly, one wrapping rope around her neck as the other throws the end around a tree branch. the one killer stands up and helps yank the rope over the branch.

The dead girl's body begins to drag through the grass, eventually lifting into the air, swinging back and forth.

They work fast in securing the rope around the tree, before admiring their work.

"something's missing."

He moves forward with his knife raised.

He plunges it deep into her abdomen, dragging the knife across her torso. Her blood splashes into the dirt, creating a mud-like consistency. He reaches his gloved hand into the wound, pulling out her intestines, and scattering them beneath her.

He steps back toward his accomplice.

"It's perfect."

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

FIRST CHAPTER OF MY NEW SERIES!!! LET ME KNOW WHAT YALL THINK!!! PLEASE BE HONEST!!!

DUE TO THE FACT THIS IS AN INTENSE BOOK THAT HAS A BUNCH OF GORE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE OFF THE TAG LIST FOR THIS BOOK!!!

TAGLIST🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @imaslut4kehlani @that-general-simp @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @adoreindie @braindead4l @pettydollie @chrissgirlsstuff @alexis007 @ratatioulle @yamamasjumpercables @luv4kozume @sturnioloslurps @kqyslyho3

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mygreatadventurehasbegun · 4 months

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My Favorite New-To-Me Movies of 2023

Women Talking

This movie won the Oscar of Best Adapted Screenplay and deservedly so...it's scenes are so tightly written and delivered so beautifully by the incredible cast of actresses, that it held my attention for the entire runtime. Every performance was fantastic, and I wish at least one of them had received recognition from the Academy...personally my vote would have been for Claire Foy, but any one of them could have walked away with a nomination.

Pearl

This was such an interesting horror flick...the saturated color palette, the extreme bursts of violence and of course, the magnificent performance by Mia Goth. She was absolutely fascinating to watch...the character of Pearl is so desperate to leave her home and to become a star that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants.

They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

While I consider this to be one of the best movies I've seen this year...it's not necessarily one I'd ever want to watch again. At least not in the near future...because this movie is bleak. During the Great Depression, a group of people sign up for a dance marathon with the hope of winning the prize money. All the characters are so compelling and interesting to watch. Absolutely recommend watching it, especially for Jane Fonda's outstanding performance...but you might finish the movie a bit depressed.

Deathtrap

Man, this movie is fun. It's the kind of movie that I can't say too much about, because the plot is so full of twists...but the basic idea is: A famous playwright, coming off a string of flops, learns that his former student has written a surefire hit play, and he conspires to murder his student and take the play as his own. And you have Christopher Reeve wearing some fantastic sweaters.

Sweet Smell of Success

This movie is so good, I don't even know where to start. The performances, the writing, the cinematography...it's such a perfect example of a noir film (especially one that doesn't focus on a murder or a detective). I wasn't sure what to expect when I started, but from the moment I pressed play, I was completely engrossed.

The Last of Sheila

I really caught up on my murder mysteries this year...and The Last of Sheila is a really great one. Another movie that I can't say too much about because of it's twisty plot...but I will say you can definitely see how it influenced Rian Johnson for his Knives Out films. Also, this was co-written by Anthony Perkins and Stephen Sondheim!

Catch-22

I blind bought this one after Alan Arkin's death...I had never seen it, but thought it seemed like a fun enough film to take the gamble on. And boy, was I right! While I can see why some critics didn't love it back then, this movie is so wonderfully bonkers, I can't help but love it! The witty dialogue, clever shot composition and excellent performances by a massive cast make this movie a real treat!

Home Before Dark

This was a very random find for me...I actually just came across it on TV when it was starting and decided to stick with it (just like the olden days, get off my lawn). And while the movie itself isn't perfect, I was completely drawn in by Jean Simmons' performance. Her character has just returned home from a stay at an asylum, and while she tries to reacclimate to life at home, we start to see her lose it again...but we aren't sure if she is actually being pushed towards that breakdown intentionally. It has a few shades of the movie Gaslight, for sure.

The Collector

This may have been my favorite new-to-me movie of the year! It is such an intense and uncomfortable film, with amazing performances by the two lead actors and an ending that I did not see coming. Given the story and the setting, I could almost see this easily being turned into a stage play...I'd love to see a theater try and capture the claustrophobic feeling you get when Miranda is trapped in that cellar.

A few honorable mentions are: All Quiet on the Western Front (2022), The Thin Man, Sound of Metal, Persona and Somewhere in Time (this one mostly for the melodrama, lol)

Here's to more movies in 2024!

#the collector 1965 #home before dark #sweet smell of success #women talking #they shoot horses don't they #the last of sheila #deathtrap #pearl #catch 22 #movies

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serenfire · 5 months

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anyways i just watched saltburn

1) if you watch this in the theater on a packed friday night in a college town every time something weird and sexual happens everyone WILL scream. it WILL get a little old towards the end of the film. i'm glad everyone's having fun but by the third act i think the lamp has been shaded by now

2) visuals, score, and use of montage was a 10 out of 10. perfectly contrasting oliver's meticulous observation of everything around him with the audience's limited point of view in the structured shots that are calling attention to how the framing cuts off our access to the scene

which brings us to:

3) the story. this is a movie where the influences are easy to see (even if i did watch an interview with emerald fennell about it last week, so i have since watched the movies she said influenced it). the first act is you going "oh they're doing maurice. oh they're doing the servant. oh they're doing the cook the thief his wife and her lover. oh they're doing the rules of the game." but this is taking the commentary of wealth as "inherently corrupting everyone within it and around it, both those who have wealth and those who are barred from it, willfully and unconsciously causing destruction" and going "okay so wealth is stodgy traditionally and offputting interpersonally but it's the pursuit of wealth from those who don't have it and the lies, manipulation, and violence from those in the pursuit that destroys the entire scaffolding. but those that had wealth before (and those that have wealth after they claw their way to the top) exist in a state of equilibrium, not causing any of this violence."

like imagine if you took all of the trappings of '60s-80s brechtian films and said: actually this clash of the expected and unexpected and the portrayal of the gross excess of capital is explicitly in service of bootstrapping your way into wealth. what we're critiquing is how the bootstrapping happens. wealth started this film as an object of desire and ended this film as an object of desire.

i drove home tonight talking to myself trying to find a reading of the film that is perhaps tying the destruction in specific pursuit of saltburn manor as tied in with the cattons' actions before oliver came, or that the cattons' treatment of farleigh reaps their treatment from oliver, or something that critiques wealth and tradition outside of a personal look at a character who's just a little bit fucked up. just a little bit craaazy y'know. even the framing of the film as "i loved felix. but was i in love with him?" is such a strictly interpersonal frame with which to view it. if we're diving through the film looking for oliver's motivations then it doesn't do the film's influences justice. to what ends do oliver's motivations matter when we're only invited into his actions (and the film is using his actions to communicate everything)? and besides, the clearest reading of oliver's motivations are that they are internally unexplainable!! the film does not offer us an explanation beyond what he says to others to justify himself!!

the referent for the final shot in the film is knives out's my house mug final shot. such a jarring tone to mimic. personal triumph and recognition of overcoming in the face of all obstacles for what.

#if anyone's got thoughts i'd love to hear them. feel like i'm very in my head thinking about this one #& barry keoghan needs to win an award. he had so many monologues that needed to straddle emotionless and desperate and he did stunningly #anyways i gave it a 2.5/5 on letterboxd #saltburn #saltburn spoilers

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 10 months

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Gonna break the rule and go off anon 😉

What is your ranking for your favourite Chris Evans movies/TV shows????

Niamh! do you know how hard this is.

Top ten-

Snowpiercer- Really is anyone surprised? I loved this film for how dirty, tragic, and beautiful it was, Curtis is my husband forever and ever. I love him.

Captain America Trilogy- Loved them all, especially The Winter Soldier. I have watched them so many times.

Puncture- God this movie was so tragic and Mike was such a mess but I still really enjoyed this movie and appreciated the issues this film covered.

Avengers Trilogy- comfort series for sure. I will never forget seeing Endgame in theaters, that scene still makes my heart race.

Defending Jacob- Loved Andy! So so much. Probably too much. It's not higher on the list because it's a tv show and tv shows are hard for me to watch cause it felt like such a long movie.

Gifted- Beautiful story and it always makes me tear up

Playing It Cool- This movie was messy but I loved it because of that. Even the storytelling was a mess.

Before We Go- Honestly simple and not exciting but it had some beautiful scenes in it and I was so proud of the work he did for this.

Knives Out- Ransom really was just a piece of the artwork of this film. Top Tier, I am so glad I got to see it in theaters.

Ghosted- Honestly, I thought this one was good, even for all the hate it got. Cole was a disaster and unreasonable at times, over dramatic, but I loved it. Also, I think he had better chemistry with Ana than some of his other female co-stars over the years.

Push- One of those films I saw right around the time it came out and I just liked it. If they just left out his love interest, it would have scored higher.

Losers- Just a fun movie! He should do more comedy.

The Red Sea Diving Resort- This film has so many mixed reviews but I did enjoy it beyond Chris being fucking beautiful in it.

The Gray Man- Fucking Lloyd man... I just loved that mustached prick more than I should have.

What's Your Number? This was a cute one and I absolutely adored him working with Anna. I wish they did more films together.

Fantastic Four 1 and 2- Johnny was a cutie and I had a little crush on him back in the day.

Streetkings- I have only seen this movie a couple times but always enjoyed the drama.

Sunshine- What a interesting Sci Fi. Only watched it once or twice, mostly in bits and pieces, and I find myself getting really frustrated every single time that no one just listened to James.

Lightyear- It was cute. It won't be one I watch regularly though, but cute.

Loss Of A Tear Drop Diamond- I wanted to throttle all of them, but I did love Jimmy in those suspenders and Chris trying his hardest at that accent.

The Nanny Diaries- Cute, but not really my kind of movie.

Cellular- HAHAHA I did love this back in the day, BUT rewatching it I forget that my standards for films has gotten higher and I do cringe. Especially with Jessica popping in, I just don't like her or Jason Statham all that much. William H Macy though... loved him. Lol.

TMNT- I loved this for him, but it wasn't MY TURTLES from the 80's and 90's, so yeah I was judgy.

Fierce People- everyone was just annoying in this movie. I kinda liked it, I kinda didn't. Depends on the day.

The Perfect Score- probably if I had watched this when it came out, I would have loved it. I only recently watched it a few years ago and had a very "just wait till you all start actual adulthood" frame of mind. Lol.

Not Another Teen Movie- My first ever introduction to Chris and I absolutely hated Jake although I admit I still laugh at his insulting jokes.

The Ice Man- So I will give Chris credit in his acting in this, I wouldn't have realized it was him except I mainly watched it to see his work in this. I can't say it was a great film, for me it felt slow. But I can see where others would like it for the true crime aspect of it.

Scott Pilgrim- His part was small but funny. I will never get over the eyebrows. Beyond that part, I didn't have an interest in the rest of the film.

Never Seen -

The Newcomer- no real interest.

London- Y'all really don't know the absolute dislike I have for Jessica Biel. She is the main reason I don't watch this film. Syd also sounds like an absolute prick and I would probably hate him with a passion. I know, I'm sure I am missing out on some great scenes, but... I just don't think I could listen to Jessica's character and Syd whine and carry on the whole movie.

The Battle for Terra- No real interest.

Or the few shows he was in as a kid.

So, how do we compare? I know you didn't ask for reasons, but I am in a writing slump and wanted to give something.

#amber answers

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chloedoesart · 1 year

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what got you simping so hard for the conductor in the first place.

This reads like you asking me if I am insane, so let me just clear one thing up before we begin: yes. I am.

cracks knuckles okay anon, you asked for it. You get the whole story. I'm not holding back.

It all started when a dear friend of mine began playing this little indie game called A Hat in Time—you may have heard of it—and posting a lot of content from it in our discord server. One of the characters stood out to me, and I quickly learned upon asking her who he was that this character checked all of my boxes.

And by that I mean boxes for kinning, not simping. That comes later.

Even before I knew of AHiT's existence, I was on my way to working in the film industry. One of my goals in my career is to create a western on par with the classic Sergio Leone films. I grew up riding horses and traveling in the wilderness, so westerns are naturally close to my heart.

On top of that, I have been associated with knives, fire, and my general chaotic nature for many years. Birds of prey have been my favourite animals since I was very young, and I grew up in love with trains of all types (Thomas, ridable miniature railways, the Polar Express, etc.). Someone even told me that they thought I was Scottish before they'd heard my voice.

My point is, Conductor was immediately on my blorbo list. Of course this grumpy Scottish bird movie director with a huge knife and a chaotic alignment was going to be my favourite character! How could he not?? I actually ended up buying AHiT for the DBS chapter just because I was so excited to have a film studio represented in a video game.

Well.

Little did I know I would fall for this guy in a different way barely a month later.

I've always had a big ego—cough cough like someone cough you get my point—so it's no surprise that I'd fall in love with one of my kins, aka someone that's just like me. However, what I wasn't expecting was for it to happen so fast and so much. I rarely simp for characters, and when I do, it usually takes me a while to get to that point.

I remember the very first time I got a lil flustered and had that terrible thought of "oh no, do I simp for this guy?" with Conductor. My friend and I had made a little kinnie AU with our sonas as the Hat characters we kinned, and she at one point drew my Conductor sona (which eventually evolved into my current bird sona) with canon Conductor doing a funny Team Rocket pose, for fun! Right?

Wrong. Because what she'd unintentionally done was drawn Conductor and I holding hands. And when I saw that, I thought about how I want to hold his hand and oh gods wait do I like him???

And it was all downhill from there.

It didn't take me long to accept my fate and start pondering all of the ways I liked his character in a new light. My friend's constant support only sped things along, really. What's funny about me is that I sort of grow attracted to a character's traits and personality first, and only months later find the actual physical attraction. I think that has a name, but I don't really like labeling my orientation or fitting myself into a box.

I hope that very long story helped kind of lay the foundation for what my simping has become today, AKA nearly two and a half years of self-insert nonsense and a nearly 433,800 word roleplay.

Maybe you're still wondering why I like him, to which I must respond, so many reasons. That's a whole separate post worth of material. I love his fearlessness, his passion, his tough yet deeply caring nature. I love his detail-oriented brain and his over-confidence in himself. I love how he tries so hard to win, every year, just to maintain his place on top. He values himself and his creations, and I admire that. I want to nerd out with him about movies and trains while we sharpen our knives and drink whiskey. I love how he's old fashioned, like me. And so much more.

If you're curious as to how I think our relationship would line up, I did do this shipping meme last year that is still fairly accurate and fills in a lot more of the details. Really, it all comes down to two nerdy chaotic people who have large knives and way too much confidence.

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destinyc1020 · 1 year

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My Movie Review: "Glass Onion - A Knives Out Mystery"

🛑❗❗ ****CAUTION! There may be some SPOILERS in this review. Read at your own risk!****❗❗🛑

Soooo....I saw "Glass Onion" at the theaters this past weekend, and here are my thoughts. First of all, Idk if you've ever seen "Knives Out", but if you haven't, I would highly recommend that you see it! You don't need to have seen it in order to understand this film, but it will at least help to set the bar so-to-speak for the type of film this is.

Okay so I'll start with the cons first, and then end on a good note with this one lol.

CONS:

Don't go into this film expecting it to be better than "Knives Out", because imo it was NOT.... It wasn't even AS good as "Knives Out" (if I'm being honest)

The movie took so long to really get to the point imo. For a murder mystery film, it had so many distractions (maybe even on purpose) and didn't really start getting good until an HOUR into the film imo.🥴

They really wasted a LOT of time in the beginning of the film if you ask me, and they could have been developing the characters more/better, and really having a more interesting first half of the film.

PROS

The best things about this movie were Daniel Craig and Janelle Monae tbh lol. Seriously 😂

While the first half (first hour) of the movie kind of made you chuckle and had you wondering "wth??" in certain scenes, the SECOND half of the film on the other hand REALLY picked up and redeemed itself. Seriously, if the second half of the movie didn't exist, I would have said that this movie SUCKED compared to the first one lol. 😂

My girl Janelle Monae STOLE the SHOW in this movie! Seriously! 👏🏾👏🏾 She did so well! 😃 For someone who's more of a singer and not really an "actress", she's been killing it in these movies! I'm so proud of her!

Once the movie gets going, it gets REALLY interesting.

OVERALL

Overall, I enjoyed the movie! I especially liked the second half of it. I could actually see it again now that I know how everything ties together. Omg Kate Hudson's character was a trip lol! She had me dying laughing at the ignorant stuff she was saying throughout the film lol. 😂

Janelle was one of the best things about this movie as far as I was concerned. Can't wait to see her in more films!

MY SCORE: 7/10 - Not as great as "Knives Out" imo, but a cool popcorn movie to check out. The latter half of the movie redeemed itself. I would say that it's "streamable" on Netflix and not worth the theater ticket unless you just really want to go to the theaters lol.

#My Movie Review #Glass Onion #Daniel Craig #Edward Norton #Janelle Monae #Kate Hudson

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eva-knits12 · 9 months

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What sweater curse?

Summary: Eva knits her bf Colin Shea a sweater for his birthday.

About the sweater curse: It's been said that if you knit a sweater for your boyfriend or girlfriend before getting a ring on your finger, the relationship will end before you have a chance to finish a chance to finish the sweater.

Side note: Since What's Your Number? was released in 2010/2011, the events take place at around the time of filming, which was most likely a couple years before the release of the film, so around 2007ish or 2008ish. Knives Out was released in 2019, but the sweater pattern that is linked is more recent. Otherwise, an aran sweater is a classic piece of clothing that everyone should own at least once in their life. In fact, I'm a huge fan of any kind of cable knit sweater.

Trigger warning: This is mostly fluff, but there is some implied smut, but don't worry, it's not graphic or descriptive at all. I like to keep things on the fluffy side, because not every is comfortable with smut.

As a knitter, there is a curse about knitting your significant other a sweater. I chose to ignore this, even though everyone in my knitting circle had warned me about this. My knitting books also had this in them, and here I am, with my knitting needles, yarn, and the pattern for Colin's sweater, that was going to be gifted for him on his birthday.

I moved to Boston two and a half years ago, after securing a job in the IT industry. I came here, after the company I was working for in Detroit laid me off. I took up knitting to help with the boredom of working backstage. Knitting also helped with my depression and my anxiety.

Little did I know that moving here in the spring 2007 would change my life.

Three months after I moved here, I met Colin Shea, after my friends from work took me to a local bar to celebrate my co-workers birthday. His band was playing at the bar, and I had an awesome night, and I managed to get Colin's number. It devastated Jake, who has quite the crush on me.

When Colin picked me up for one of our date nights, he discovered my yarn stash.

"What's this?" Colin asked, when he saw a pair of knitting needles poking out of my knitting bag, and picking up a ball of yarn.

"Colin, it's my knitting. I knit and I also crochet. It sounds boring, and you're thinking it's a hobby for old ladies, "I said .

"That's so cool. I don't think it's a hobby for old ladies," Colin said.

That was one month into our relationship, and it just keeps getting better.

"When did you start knitting and crocheting?"

"I took it up in college. It gave me something to do when I would be working in the costume department. I majored in theatre before I majored in computer sciences ", I said.

"Can you make me something?"

"Sure. I can make you a hat, a scarf, a dish cloth, a pair of fingerless gloves, a blanket, a sweater..."

"I didn't expect a whole inventory...", said Colin.

"I'll surprise you," I said, giving Colin a kiss.

"Let's go to dinner, and then we'll see the new Batman movie."

"I know it was filmed in Detroit, so I'll point out anything of interest if it comes up on screen."

Colin and I went on our date, and we even cuddled in the movie theatre seats, with a huge bucket of popcorn and a huge bag of M &M's between us.

That led to some more dates, and eventually, I moved into Colin's apartment because my landlord raised my rent, as I could barely afford the place by myself anymore.

One year later, on our first anniversary in 2008, Colin wrote me a song, and played it for me on his guitar. I'll never forget it, because it came from his heart. I got Colin a vintage inspired record player, along with some old records that I found at a local used book and record store. One of those records was Kick Out the Jams by the MC5, and I had a story that went along with it.

Here we are, two years later in 2009, and we couldn't be happier. We even found a small house that was in our price range, and are moving into it in the fall.

On our second anniversary, Colin tried to cook me dinner, only for it end in disaster, and the smoke alarm going off when I got home.

"Oh, honey, this was supposed to be a surprise," Colin said, with a laugh, while Dickens, our dog that we rescued, was happily wagging his tail, sitting by Colin's feet, waiting for me to come home.

"Oh, I'm surprised all right, but coming home to the house nearly burning down is not my idea of a surprise," I said, laughing.

"Okay, I'll order us that pizza that we like", said Colin. "Happy anniversary, sweetheart," Colin said. "I love you so much," Colin said, capturing me in a very deep and loving kiss.

"Happy anniversary, Colin," I said, giving Colin his present, which was a pair of fingerless gloves and a matching scarf and hat that I knitted for him that would keep him warm for the upcoming colder weather that Boston and Michigan are famous for later in the fall.

"This is lovely, honey. Thank you. Thank you for agreeing to be my girlfriend two years ago," said Colin, grabbing my waist, and dancing around the kitchen with me.

"Colin, I am proud that you're my boyfriend. I love you, my favorite rock star. Every day has been full of happiness, and every day is always a brand new adventure with you", I said, with tears of joy in my eyes.

The pizza came, we ate our favorite pepperoni pizza, and then I pulled out the special dessert that I picked up for us at our favorite bakery. After that, Colin kissed me deeply and lovingly, and picked me up bridal style.

"What's next, rock star?" We already had the perfect anniversary, even though it didn't go according to plan", I said.

"We're going to the bedroom, for another surprise," said Colin, with lust blown eyes.

Later that night, Colin and I enjoyed a nice romantic bath together.

Two years later, I was knitting Colin his sweater, which was a lovely cable knit in a cream color, much like the one Ransom Drysdale had worn in the movie, Knives Out, but without the holes.

As I was working on the sleeves to Colin's sweater, I didn't hear him come in.

"Honey, I'm home", Colin called.

"Have good day, rock star?"

"Yeah, the kids weren't as unruly today as they were weeks ago," said Colin.

"That's good. Plus, you're getting along well with my brother, so that's a good sign," I said, while giving him a kiss.

"Honey, is that for me? Just being with you is present enough", said Colin.

"Colin, you know your birthday is coming up soon, and you know you're mom, she always makes a huge deal of it", I said.

'This sweater is for my brother", I said, putting the sweater back into my knitting bag. "Plus, I have something special planned for your birthday ", I said, winking.

"But three years ago, everyone thought I would still be single, and not have a girlfriend that lasted longer than three months", said Colin.

"Colin Shea, listen to me. Your family still loves you, even though you chose a much different path," I said, trying to cheer up, when I saw the devastated look on Colin's face.

Just then, Dickens our dog, came running into the room when he heard Colin. Dickens was licking his face, trying to cheer him up, too. In the process, Dickens knocked over my knitting bag. Yarn flew out, the sweater had managed to somehow fly across the room, and the sleeves came off the needles, only to frog several rows from Dickens wanting to do his part of cheering up Colin. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

I had managed to gather up the yarn, and wind them back into the skeins as best as I could. I had managed to get the sleeves back on to the needles, and luckily, Dickens managed to only frog them back to the cuffs. Colin scooped up the sweater, but luckily, there was no damage.

"Dickens, you certainly have given us quite the surprise," Colin said.

"You know, how about we order some Chinese tonight?" I said, laughing at Dickens surprise appearance, after napping by my feet all day.

"I just hope it stays down," I said.

"Wait...are you...?" asked Colin.

"You'll find out soon", I said with a wink.

Two weeks later, I finished Colin's sweater. I found a gift box, and wrapped it in tissue paper, and wrapped it. I even found a cute card for Colin.

"Happy birthday, rock star", I said , kissing him.

"Honey, you didn't have to do this", said Colin. "I wonder what this is."

"Open it", I said.

Colin unwrapped the gift, and opened the box, and carefully undid the tissue paper. Inside, was a lovely cream colored cable knit sweater.

"Honey, I love it" said Colin. He gave me a loving kiss.

"There's something else," I said.

"Honey, I don't need anything else. Everything I want is right here, under this roof", said Colin, capturing me in another kiss.

"You'll love this one," I said opening the top drawer on my nightstand and grabbing the envelope with the small box attached to it. I gave Colin the package, nodding at him to open it.

Colin took the envelope with the small box I attached to it. Colin opened the small box, and inside the box was a pregnancy test that was positive. Colin then opened the envelope, and inside was an ultrasound sound picture.

"Honey, how could my birthday just have gotten better?" asked Colin, love filling his eyes, and his large hand going to my non-existent bump. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"That's why I've been nauseous lately. It's why I've been throwing up a lot lately" I said. "It's also why I was sent home early from work two weeks ago, and have been working from home ever since", I said.

"I really wanted this to be a surprise," I said.

"Eva, I always knew you were crafty, but how did you manage to keep it a secret for two weeks, knowing that your family thrives on gossip?" asked Colin.

"Easy, I didn't post my pregnancy on Facebook," I said, referring to the newish social media site that became very popular among everyone. "Plus, I wanted to get my pregnancy confirmed before we announce it. I had your mom take me to the doctor, and Dr. Westfield confirmed it."

"I can't wait to meet him...or her", said Colin. "I love you," said Colin, capturing another kiss.

"Daddy loves you so much," Colin said, talking to my non-existent bump. "I'm so happy you exist, and I never thought I'd love someone as much as I love your mom", said Colin, kissing my belly.

"I love you, rock star", I said. "I love you, and I love your daddy, and you wouldn't exist if it weren't for me meeting and falling in love with your daddy," I said, rubbing my belly.

Colin and I fell asleep again that morning. Dickens jumped up on the bed, and placed his head on my stomach. After a few hours, I woke up in Colin's arms, with Colin staring at me and smiling at me lovingly. Dickens and Colin didn't want me to leave the bed, even though I really needed to pee. I couldn't wait for Colin's birthday party tonight, in which, we would make the announcement.

Colin was going to surprise me on my birthday, but not with a sweater. He was going to surprise me with a ring, as he had been secretly shopping for the perfect ring.

#colin shea #knitting #hand knit sweater #hand knitted #dog lover #pregnancy #pregnant

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dorics · 2 years

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thg mean girls au is so fascinating to me

i. have no explanation for this, because like. i don't even really like mean girls, okay? i think it's heathers without the teeth. like, if nobody gets killed, what's even the point? also like i don't think it's even that funny and maybe that just bc i saw it meme'd to death before i ever actually saw the film but all that to say:

i realized cady is a nickname for arcadia, which is a greek name, and then i was like ‘that would be a good two tribute name’ and instead of, i don't know, adding a two tribute named arcadia to my hunger games spreadsheet, i promptly wrote 1,900 words of an au in which the mean girls are in the hunger games, and then i was like. wait i don't actually even care about mean girls. why am i writing this. and stopped. however what i did write actually kind of fucks so it just gets to live in eternal limbo in my drafts now ig. also it's in second person for some reason i cannot explain. another thing i cannot explain abt this fic.

also wren is karen i just needed to give her a more hunger games-y name to make it work in my brain

“what are you doing with the pack?” the girl from seven asks quietly. you’re at the fire-starting station, whilst regina and the others are at the throwing knives station. you can see regina out of the corner of your eye, cleaning the underneath of her nails with a knife blade. you try not to shiver at her gaze, which is trained on you.

“what?” you ask.

“i mean, listen, no offense,” the girl from seven goes on. “but like, you seem way too nice to be in the career pack.”

you blink at her and stifle a laugh. this is what they wanted when they put you in the games, isn’t it? “i’m from two,” you say. “i can think of six ways to kill you with those sticks you’re holding.” you can hear your own voice, and the threat sounds dull, as though you’re simply reciting it from memory from a textbook. you run your tongue over your teeth and remind yourself that the district seven tributes are rarely a threat, and this one is simply pushing the limits.

that should be enough of an explanation. but the girl from seven only laughs, throwing her head back and showing her teeth. regina has taught you that the bearing of teeth is a threat. so what the girl from seven has done should be a threat. but it isn’t.

“damian, get over here!” she calls, and her district partner, large but clumsy, half-runs over from where he’d been chatting with the trainer at the edible plants station.

“what?” the boy who must be called damian asks. “i was busy learning which plants you can and can’t eat. okay, mostly which ones you can’t. turns out most of them will kill you. who would’ve guessed?”

you snort a little at this — ‘<i> it’s the hunger games, after all, </i>’ you think to yourself. ‘<i> of course the plants will kill you. </i>’ — as damian settles his chin into his hands. “i told you two girl was too nice for the pack,” she crows, almost proud.

damian eyes you like you’re some kind of muttation on display. “ooh,” he croons, in a perfect imitation of [caesar flickerman figure], “janis, do we have a full blown career in our alliance? the sponsors will just eat that up!”

regina’s gaze on you is icy, and you know every second you spend with the pair from seven, the more of a threat you are. “no,” you say cooly. “you don’t. stay away from me.”

you stand up and walk back to the other girls, where gretchen and wren immediately mob you with comments about the pair. the both of them, apparently, are into the same gender, and your nose wrinkles appropriately at that. nevermind that the thought of kissing another girl makes your toes curl and a shiver run down your spine for reasons you can’t quite explain. you hit the target three times with the throwing knives, and all the while, regina’s cold, hard stare is trained on you.

you pretend the target is regina, and you aim another knife at the target.

it lands right in between target-regina’s collarbones.

#fic tag #ask tag #do not ask me why i wrote this i truly cannot fucking tell you

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bluesylveon2 · 2 years

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Beauty and the Beast

Summary: One incident turns Sasha's life upside down. Now she is stuck in a mansion with talking furniture and a beast. What will happen next?

Disclaimer: Beauty and the Beast is an American animated musical fantasy film produced by Walt Disney Feature Animation and Walt Disney Pictures. Attack on Titan is a manga/anime series written by Hajime Isayama and published by Kondasha.

A/N: Short chapter but I got the next one almost done! I should have it out soon (hopefully)

Warning: my poor attempt at French and the "Be Our Guest" scene

Thank you to @peculiarvelociraptor for beta reading!!

Masterlist: Here

Chapter 3:

"This way! We don't want the food to go cold now, no?" Jean dragged Sasha excitedly along until he stopped in front of a wooden door. He opened the door with a loud bang.

"Our guest has arrived!" He ignored Eren's horrified face in favor of bringing Sasha to the dining table.

"Are you crazy, Jean? You're going to get us killed with all the loud noises you're making." Eren said while slapping Jean's shoulder.

Jean gently pushed Eren aside. "Relax, mon ami. The Master won't hear a thing. I just want our guest to have some dinner."

Eren pushed Jean's arm away, brushing the imaginary dirt off him. "Quietly."

Jean smiled. "Quietly."

Meanwhile, Mikasa appeared with a tiny teacup during Jean and Eren's conversation.

"Hello, Lady Sasha. Are you feeling better?"

Sasha smiled. "A little. I am just hungry."

Mikasa nodded. "That's good. Would you like some tea?" Sasha nodded, and Mikasa turned to the teacup next to her. "Kaya, can you help Lady Sasha out."

"Yes, Mama." An innocent voice replied and stood in front of Sasha. Mikasa tilted herself to pour some tea into the cup.

"Lady Sasha, this is my adoptive daughter, Kaya. Kaya, this is Lady Sasha, our guest."

"Hello, Lady Sasha." Kaya greeted cheerfully, which made Sasha smile as she drank her tea.

"Hello, Kaya. It is very nice to meet you."

"Are you enjoying your stay so far?" The teacup asked with innocent eyes. Sasha wanted to tell her how she felt, but Kaya did not need to know her true feelings.

"I am. Thank you for asking." She replied, gave Kaya a head pat, and set the cup down. Kaya hopped back to her mother's side.

"Did you see that, Mama? I greeted the guest!"

Mikasa smiled gently and nuzzled her daughter. "I am so proud of you, Kaya! You are such a big girl."

Sasha could not help but feel joyful at sight. It was nice to see everyone (or most people) maintain family relationships despite turning into furniture.

"Ah, the food has arrived!" Jean's voice brought Sasha's attention to the mountain of food being brought inside. It made her mouth water and her stomach growl loudly.

"Food…" Sasha sighed dreamily, a bit of drool sliding down her mouth.

Jean chuckled. "Of course, you can't go to sleep hungry, and what is better than dinner with entertainment."

"Entertainment?" One by one, the servants placed the food on the table. It ranged from many appetizers, entrees, and even desserts. Sasha's eyes sparkled. Sasha felt as if she was in heaven.

"Entertainment?!" Eren cried out. "Are you trying to let Master Niccolo know we're here?"

Jean waved him off with his candle arm. "No, no. Master Niccolo won't hear a thing." He clapped his hand together, causing the lights to turn off except for a single spotlight on him.

"What the?" Eren started but was shushed by Mikasa, curious about what Jean had up his sleeve.

"Bonjour, Lady Sasha, it is with great honor that we welcome you tonight. So just enjoy yourself, relax, and let us present to you-"

As Jean talked, multiple plates, forks, spoons, and knives burst through the kitchen doors. They encircled the dining table, lighting candles and getting into position.

"-your dinner."

Jean winked at Sasha. "Be our guest, be our guest-"

Meanwhile, Mikasa wrapped a napkin around Sasha's neck as the dining ware presented a bowl of soup and a plate of hors d'oeuvres. Sasha devoured the food and sighed with relief.

"-We only live to serve."

Mikasa directed the first set of dinnerware to jump to a rolling cart. Another set of food was presented to Sasha. It was a small bowl filled with creamy gray-colored food.

"Try the gray stuff; it's delicious. Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!"

Sasha took a swipe on the gray stuff and tasted it (it was sweet and light) as it was replaced with another dish.

"We tell jokes. I do tricks. With my fellow candlesticks. And it's all in perfect taste. That you can bet. Come on and lift your glass. You've won your own free pass to be our guest! If you're stressed. It's fine dining we suggest. Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!"

There was so much food Sasha could hardly remember what was being served. The dishes ranged from salads, soups, meats, pasta, souffle, pie, and pudding. Finally, the dining ware presented Sasha with a gigantic cake for dessert and some tea. Meanwhile, Jean continued his song in the background and added some fireworks for the finale.

("Are you crazy?!" Eren screamed while almost having a heart attack. Sasha was too focused on the food to care.)

Sasha ate the whole thing despite her stomach feeling like it would explode.

"Man, I'm stuffed," Sasha said and rubbed her full belly.

Jean chuckled while Eren and Mikasa were directing the clean-up in the background. "Well, you can't go to sleep full, no? Why don't you go on a tour of the mansion? I bet there are a few rooms you would want to see?"

Sasha hummed in thought. "Well, it would not hurt to look around."

"Perfect!" Jean turned in Eren's direction and grabbed his arm. "Eren, come help me give our guest a tour."

Eren sweatdropped but let Jean drag him. "Why me?"

---

"So Master Niccolo was once human like you. He used to throw extravagant parties in the ballroom right here. Now let's keep moving to the library."

Sasha ignored most of Eren's ramblings to look around each room. Some rooms were covered in dust, and others looked like they were never touched.

The group went up a set of stairs and then split off to different ends of the house.

"Just follow me. The library is to our east. Do not go to the west wing."

Sasha's curiosity perked up. "What is in the west wing?"

"Nothing!" Jean cut in, yet he looked nervous.

"I can just take a quick peek and be right back." Sasha attempted to go around the two but was stopped every time.

"You know what is in the library? Niccolo's personal recipe collection! Why don't we show you?"

Sasha's mouth opened in a small o. "Show me the way."

"Yes! Yes!" Eren exclaimed and turned to Jean. "Let's go this way and only this way."

Jean nodded. "Oui, oui. Let's get going!" He quickly grasped Eren's arm and dragged him away. He did not think to turn back and ensure that Sasha followed.

Sasha hid her laughter as the two walked off. She turned her attention back to the west wing. Sasha could not describe it, but it was as if there was an invisible pull leading her in that direction.

Sasha let her feet lead her into the unknown. That unknown looked like a door to the master bedroom, wide open for anyone to go through. Sasha went inside with no hesitation.

The room looked as if something had gone in and destroyed it. The furniture was in tatters and had scratch marks on it. On the wall was a portrait of a young man with wavy blonde hair and charming brown eyes who looked to be almost 20 or in his early 20s. Sasha took a closer look at it. She could not deny the fact that the man was undeniably handsome.

Although everything in the room was in the worst condition compared to the rest of the house, there was one thing that looked spotless, a red rose inside a glass casing. Its red glow drew Sasha closer like it was calling out to her.

Sasha carefully picked the glass covering up and set it down to the side. The glow grew brighter as Sasha's fingers got closer to the flower. Her finger barely grazed it when she was interrupted.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Sasha broke out of her trance to face Niccolo. He was seething with so much anger that it scared her.

"I-'m sorry I-"

"Get out."

Sasha was taken aback. "I said get out of my house!"

Sasha didn't think to argue like before. Her heart was racing, and adrenaline spiked as she ran towards the door while ignoring Eren and Jean's questions

She slammed the door open, jumped on her horse, and didn't turn back. The only trace left from her was the footprints left in the snow.

----

#nicosasha #nicosasha fanfiction #sasha x niccolo #attack on titan #beauty and the beast

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the-firebird69 · 5 months

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These are prayer cards this one is Saint Patrick which is a big card a lot of people have them though who's a huge one for them to be reading and is mine and I made it up had someone make it and it's annoying but right now they are opening up a whole can of worms they're deer antlers on knives are really from goats all of them our son and daughter say those are huge demons in our lives are giant ones and they're really called devils because they're all associated with the devil who's a higher up rules them but it's a more like a council and it's true he says it's a parallel and we use them the devil in Lewis are in control but they are also devils an extremely powerful and the goat is a huge huge one and it's all over DC and it's in Pennsylvania which makes more sense than in DC because that's where the originated their religion which is called satanism more or less continued is it it was started back in the day because people called them satanists because serpents and didn't evolve so they say that and then they say we're not because we say we are and it's covered a whole bunch of other stuff but this one is famous in DC and they named a lot of stuff after it even the Pentagon especially named after it because of the pentagram which is associated with it and part of that particular religion it is from the Middle East and it's a certain demon and it shows up every once in awhile it was on TV but it was someone committing fraud and taking it but it was on before and it has a different name it's not chupacabra but it sounds like it and it is wicked and it was a real film of one and DC people will hunt it down now or try to they say I don't know and it was a huge day and he put it down too and he had a nightmare that night and really they're making a big deal of it no

He's telling people about it and he's in trouble tonight he had killed a lot of his own race and they recognize it and he wants a knife so he should buy it our son says and he says oh yeah it's kind of Jason's people

Nuada Arianna

You're in the house it's not really theirs and the knives are not really theirs and it did hit the owner too who's Terry cheeseman and he says that we should put it somewhere that's our place and he says in California but those buildings are all someone else's and in the midwest is a mess and he said that we need to have some common ground they built some new museums when is that Big shiny building and there's some other ones in Los Angeles but right now they have a problem because inside the horns which looks like deer horns and they put them on deer and they were taking off on purpose in the computer is after them the embeds and one of them is ghwb since the specs and it's true our suspects that and this is not him his are in the horns of the devil and his wife peacock the other horns and yeah the ones in the habitat store housing in beds and they're famous and they're huge it's a particular demon and it's from Africa and it is Obama's and tons will be after it

Well it's really Obama's wife no son got along with her and she was hitting on him a bit and he didn't do anything and she smiled and they were friends after and things were rough but and Jimmy said not to talk to him

Thor Freya

Olympus

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sq0ux · 1 year

Text

every so often I remember recycle rex and become angry.

For the uninformed, Recycle Rex was a short film released in 1993 by Disney in order to teach kids the beauty of recycling. Seems benign right? NO. I hate this movie. It somehow crams hours of displeasure into 12 minutes. I am going to be complaining for a while. Link to a video where you can watch it

Let's start with the opening credits (yes seriously). The very first title card is just a mess, like they had all this space and only have 5 fucking words. And why is the 'and' so far away from the CDoC name? Why even have the two sponsoring companies on different title cards? If you had just didn't have the 'and' taking up 12 miles of space, you could just conense them into one slide! How hard is this guys?! You fucked up the first thing the audience sees besides the huge Disney Logo! come on man.

Anyway we see the titular Rex and while I could make fun of the character designs, it did come out in 1993 so I will spare them. Actually, this paragraph will be dedicated to things I either like or will not be criticizing. The Voice Acting is whatever, I won't be covering. The music is all around okay (with one MAJOR exception). There is 1 "enjoyable" (read: not annoying) character. That's it, I'll be complaining about most other things.

Let's start with the opening montage of people throwing away "recyclable goods." At least that's what I assume was happening, I have no idea what the pink nightmare face was. This is alright, showing how our characters start the movie and how they don't recycle like they should yet. My only problem is that all the backgrounds are just white, they aren't anywhere interesting. They exist in a void, devoid of recycling. It just weirds me out, I feel like they could have done literally anything for a background and they would've been fine.

This is also where we get introduced to our cast of main characters. Rex is bland because of course he is. The pink one is the girl. The Red one is a nerd, while not even being too smart. He just carries a book around and acts like having the thing makes him smart. I want to beat the arelle pteranadon with a bat covered with knives. The other two are background extras.

Then two twins walk up to them. I said I wouldn't criticize the voice actors, and that is as much I will say about these twins. Actually I changed my mind. The rest of the cast are just dicks to them for no reason and I feel bad for them. Well, with their voices not really. They also have no bearing on the plot and any one of the main cast could be lowered down to their position and I don't think anything would be lost.

Then a big guy comes and starts dumping trash because there's no where else for it to go. The characters have repeatedly called this wide green texture beautiful, and sure I guess it kinda looks like grass. The kids try to stop him and he can't. I'd ridicule the plot but it's for 9 year olds. I actually kind of like the next moment, girl says they'll take the trash back to the idiots who threw it out, and she picks up the thing she threw out in that montage earlier. Actually kind of good storytelling, and the extent of my praise for this... thing.

Then nerd character nerds nerdily (he checks his book). The book is actually useless, so maybe he is actually smart. Green guy reuses the shit they threw out and makes, something. Props to the guy I guess. Nerd speaks faux french because that means intelligence. Sure whatever, I don't care about him enough to keep thinking about him.

The next bit is a criticism of capitalism, so points there. Disney has fallen since making this, as low as it already is. Basically just the kids discussing how to not produce so much trash. Arelle Pteranadon realises that she should REDUCE the amount of And, we get our first lesson. Girl says she'll buy a refill for her shampoo so she doesn't have to buy a new bottle! She then says she'll REUSE it instead of throwing it away. Wow, 2 of the 3 R's! The movie actually performs it's job! And they're worked in naturally instead of being plopped into the story without regard! I hope the trend continues for the last R!

Cut to the twins doing something. Then a sunflower lectures them on how there's only so much left in the world and we need to stop using it. Understandably placed, inoffensively delivered, let's move on. The sunflower is pretty cool though, he calls himself a precious resource which is the funniest thing in this.

Cut back to Rex moping about not being able to do anything to help. The others come back and discuss what they learned. Then they start arguing because Conflict. Then Rex starts dicking around with his bottle and sees the recycle symbol, then just happens to see a recycling sign. Randomly. Without it being visible in any previous shot. Out of nowhere. Because why continue to reveal the R's slowly, the main character just finds one. Also immediately after finding the sign and learning what Recycling is, Rex says that he always knew throwing trash away was bad, which like, bro... why'd you act so surprised at the begin- whatever. I have more important things to complain about.

And then, IT starts. The musical number. I. HATE. This motherfucking crime that Disney commited. Disney took, one of the greatest mediums of storytelling and threw it away, in the story about recycling. They did not even try. I hate this song. It's big band in that it has horns, but all the horns do is play unisons. You have, ALL OF THESE BEAUTIFUL INSTRUMENTS, and YOU HAVE THEM PLAY ONLY IN UNISONS. It's also so generic, like come on guys. This instrumentation is so unengaging. The main melody (when Rex sings Recycle, Reduce, Reuse) is annoying, it's just a whole step repeated twice. The bass line is the only thing that sounds like any thought was put into it.

The lyrics to this song infuriate me on a deep level. So we all know the 3 R's Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. SO WHY THE FUCK DOES REX SAY RECYCLE, REDUCE REUSE!?!?!? COME ON MAN. The whole point of the 3 R's are to give you the most important R first, REDUCE. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO REDUCE YOUR INTAKE BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE. You recue your plastic intake, reuse any plastic you do use, and then recycle it at the end of it's lifespan. These bastards at disney took this perfectly designed mantra and tossed it to the curb. There's also the shitty rap that has no sense of flow, the entire song suffers from a lack of metrical knowledge. I just hate this song on a fundamental level.

The Lyrics don't even do anything interesting, they just repeat ad nauseum to "Recycle, Reduce, Reuse, and close the loop." Like that's it, there's a couple verses where Rex sings about recycling in general but it isn't engaging, useful, or anything. It's just 2 minutes and 23 seconds of bashing you over the head with the least interesting way of communicating recycling to you.

Like come on, you even integrated the 3 R's in the right order, Reduce is first when that fucking pteranadon opens a treat with a lot of packaging, Reuse comes when Girl realises her bottle is refillable, and Rex just finds the Recycle Sign. The structure of the short film does a good job at introducing the 3 R's in their order of importance, but the song they wrote just throws it all out the window. This song annoys me on so many levels, and is the inspiration of this entire essay.

The sunflower shows up again, that's fun :)

This film has haunted me since I first saw it. The first title card drove me nuts and I was so annoyed by it. Then the rest of the film just kind of happens and it's whatever, I wasn't expecting much from this film for 9 year olds, but that song. That song destroys any goodwill I had for this film. The film would be forgettable nonsense for me if not for that damn song. That damn song reminds me of the film, so I go back and hate watch it every few months or so. It lives rent free in my head and I need to contend with the fact that I will be lying on my deathbed and there is a good chance that my final thoughts will be remembering this.

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sinfulwrites · 2 years

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Things I noticed about Asa Emory and the distinct differences between The Collector and The Collection, spoiler warning if you haven't seen those movies.

Asa Emory seems to be a completely different person depending on the movie. In the first one, he seems a lot more, almost inexperienced than in the second movie. He is still very well versed in making traps, that never changes (thought it absolutely improves in the second movie), but how he fights and how stalks people down is completely different.

First thing I noticed, Asa depends on knives a lot more in combat in the first movie than the second one, and he's very clearly inexperienced in hand to hand combat at this point, and very heavily relies on weapons to give him the upper hand. This is a very distinct difference from the second film, where Asa seems to be trained in combat, judging from how he moves in his last fight with Arkin and Lucello. While he still used weapons, he very clearly could do by without them.

Another change is his very distinct behavior between both films. Asa very openly displays annoyance when the victims start making noise, as evidence by him kicking the trunk when the man inside starts making noise, and how he stitches a woman's mouth shut for screaming. The way Asa moves is also very different between movies. Asa runs around and jumps around from place to place in the first film, he crouches around and stalks from the shadows until he's spotted, while he is still cunning enough to trick an officer into being attacked by his dog, he also falls victim to his own trap near the end of the movie and shrieks in pain. In comparison to the second film, where he always seems calm and collected, walks around in a slow, leisurely pace, we hardly hear him make a noise in the second movie. If memory serves me right, I don't think he even made much sound when he was lit on fire.

(Tw, the use of the f slur)

Another difference is their temper. In the second film, Asa could not be taunted into fighting Arkin no matter what he said, he simply smiled in his face before lighting the string so they would all burn to the death. In the first film? Interestingly enough, he reacts to the slur "faggot." Actually stopping in his tracks and retaliating against Arkin for it. This just opens a book for so many questions. Is he a repressed homosexual? Is he hiding in the closet? Did someone in his life growing up use that term to berate him? Personally, I would say it looks like he's in the closet, and he's there because someone in his life made it very clear that being gay was not okay. He's definitely attracted by both genders, evidence pointing to when he licked his lips while watching a girl start to have sex with her boyfriend in the kitchen. He's probably bisexual, but he's trying to keep it in the closet, most likely due to some homophobic parents if I had to guess.

He also purrs in the first movie. He purrs, he pants like an animal, and he also growls. In comparison to the second movie, where the most we hear him do is shush people and he even talks at the end, but it should be noted that he can still be heard growling in the heat of the moment.

There are very distinct differences between the movies, one he is a more animalistic hunter, while the other he's more of an experienced fighter. And if I honestly had to pick, I kind of prefer the first one.

Don't get me wrong, watching him kick down that door with a gun and two dogs in tow is badass, and watching him fight two men on his own and nearly win does it for the loins, but watching him stalk around completely unhinged and almost feral like is almost more fitting for his character honestly.

Now the argument could easily be made that Asa is just more comfortable in the second film, because we're in this hotel, his play house. But honestly, I don't even think that's a strong enough argument to explain the distinct differences.

Maybe he just toughened up between both films, learned more combat since then, I dunno. But the differences are definitely there and are definitely worth noting in my opinion.

If I had to pick one I liked, it's 100% the one from the first movie. He seems so much more unpredictable, and his purring really does it for me 🥴 Imagine him grabbing your chin and making you look at him while doing that sexy purr...

I dunno, I just wanted to babble for a little bit about these movies. I'm trying to get a better grasp for his character, and after watching both films, I think my writing will better capture his behavior in the first film more than the second one.

What do you guys think?

#babbles #asa emory #I really like how he is in the first film I don't know why #calm and collected is hot but unhinged is even hotter 😍

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vannybarber · 3 years

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Make Up Your Mind

Summary: You're ready, but Chris is making it seem like he isn't.

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: angst, SMUT, swearing, implied smut, insults.

Your body finally acknowledged the soreness between your legs when you get up to move to Chris' bathroom. You reach for a wash cloth on the rack and clean yourself up. Chris follows behind you with a shit eating grin on his face, clearly reminiscing the previous events.

Chris and you have been friends for about 2 years after working with him in Knives Out. You guys' childish personalities clicked right away and were literally each other's best friends. Only about 7 months back, you boldly told him that you wanted to fuck him. He was nothing less than down and you guys have been friends with benefits ever since.

Well up until recently. You both started acting like real couple. Going out to nice restaurants, touching in public, spending nights at each other houses and visiting each other's families. You both were enjoying the feeling of being together all the time, even without an official label.

Being around him so much grew out even more feelings. Not friendly feelings. But more intimate and longing feelings. To be with him. As his girl. More than just a friend to talk to. More than a nice body to play with.

There had been too many internet speculations asking why you guys don't just date already. Hell, you were asking the same damn question. But unfortunately, you know why. And you hate it.

"That little freaky number you did in there was something else, Y/N. 'Thou art truest freak' in the words of Shakespeare." He laughs, watching for your reaction. You just look at him smiling and shaking your head. The things that come out this man's mouth. You know damn well Shakespeare never said that shit.

"I told you from the start, boo. I know how to put it down." He eagerly agrees, hanging his wash cloth up and checking his fingers.

You observe him through the mirror. His bushy auburn eyebrows furrowed together while he picks at his nails. His sharp narrow nose that you feel against your right cheek everytime you guys make out. His beautiful red lips you've felt in many places on your body, preferably in places your eyes can't see. And his eyes. The ones that hold so much purity and happiness. Those perfect eyes.

This man is everything you want, but he just wasn't ready. That's the catch. That's the thing you absolutely hated. He had major commitment issues and people around you had more of a chance in anything than him ever settling down. It literally caused you physical pain. Because you couldn't change his feelings, no matter how many conversations you guys had or how good you fucked him.

Walking back into the room, you grab your bodycon dress you came over in and put it back on your body. You gather all your other articles of clothes throwing them into your handbag and take it out into his living room. He follows behind you in his grey sweatpants and dark green t-shirt. He always looks so perfect.

You flop on the couch and turn on the T.V.

"You wanna watch The Little Mermaid again, boo?" You turn around looking at him, seeing him raid the cabinets for snacks.

"Do you even have to ask me that?" He yells back when he finds his chips. You chuckle and start the movie.

"NO DON'T START IT YET I'M NOT READYYYY!"

"THEN GET YOUR SLOW ASS OVER HERE!" you yell back at him. His level of immaturity isn't even visible because of how high it is. It's unmatched.

After a few moments, he finds his way on the couch next to you with your double stuffed Oreos and apple juice, passing it to you. He had his veggie sticks cause he's so damn picky.

You both get comfortable and turn your attention to the movie.

After some time, it's the scene were Sebastian is encouraging Eric to kiss Ariel. You wish the real Sebastian would come over and convince Chris to be with you. Maybe he'd listen. Just the thought irritates you.

You huff lowly in annoyance. Chris notices but doesn't say anything. You always got frustrated at this part cause he took FOREVER to finally kiss her. So he brushes it off. Nothing he hadn't seen before.

While the movie was playing, you were getting even more frustrated in that moment. Chris had his arm behind your back and hand resting on your hip, laughing at Flounder. It was like he was playing a game with you that he didn't know he was even apart of. You shifted away from him a little. You hated feeling this way.

Little to your knowledge, Chris was watching you in the corner of his eye. He watched you as your mind raced and move constantly. Your eyes move around a lot when you think hard. He knew something was up.

"Jellybean, what's up?" You turn and look at him, pushing away the feeling the nickname presented you inside. He gave it to you after you bought him a Starburst jellybean gift basket to celebrate the end of you guys' filming.

"What do you mean? I'm fine" you lie right in his face. Like a complete idiot because he can see right through you. You turn back to watch the movie, but he grabs the remote and pauses it.

You roll your eyes, knowing very well he isn't letting this go. Why do you find yourself in these situations? You always end up fishing for trouble and you're not even using bait. It just comes to you. You scratch your head trying to come up with a way to dissolve the situation.

"When are you going to stop trying to lie to me, princess?" Another name he gave you. You prefer it over 'jellybean'. It made your body flutter even more. But at this point, you were tired of faking. Tired of covering up your feelings. Tired of being less than what you wanted to be to him.

Wasting no time, you take a deep breathe and spill.

"You know what Chris? I like you. There. I said it." You slap your hands down on your lap as you spoke.

"And I don't mean as a friend or as a fuck buddy. I've felt this way for a very long time. Even before we started having sex. I thought us doing this would make us closer, possibly forming a relationship."

You glance at him and continue when he doesn't say anything. He just looks at you.

"But it hasn't gone anywhere. I'm tired of faking my feelings towards you. I'm tired of coming over here acting like I just want sex when I want more. Way more."

By the time you finish, your head is down and your fingers are playing with the end of your dress. You cannot bring yourself to look up at him. You couldn't bear the rejection. All you hear are his quiet breaths. You fucked up.

Chris is a real talker. He could talk his ass off for hours into the next day. The fact that he isn't saying anything right now has you absolutely terrified, but ultimately embarrassed. You did this all for nothing.

"Y/N, I- I don't...uh" he stumbles over his words. That's all you needed to hear. You didn't need to bathe in it any longer.

You jump up off the couch, not forgetting to grab the cookies and juice, stick them in your bag and head over to your shoes. Chris is right on your tail calling you, trying to get you to stop.

"Hey princess wait" he calls behind you.

"Chris it's fine. I'm just gonna head home. I'm a little tired." Your soreness was the last of your worries, barely even feeling it anymore. You made an absolute fool of yourself and now you couldn't go back. It was a done deal.

"Come on, baby. I didn't mean to-"

"Chris!" You raise your voice at him. He shuts his mouth right away. Your shoes are on and keys in hand. "Its okay. I just don't feel good. I'll call you later. Tomorrow maybe."

You block out anything else he was saying and step out the door heading to your car. He didn't even try to stop you. He fucked up and it didn't need to get messier than it already was. He watched in guilt as you pull out his driveway and down the street.

You drive in complete silence. Normally, you'd be blasting Partition on the way after getting dicked down, but that was not the case. And it wouldn't be for a while.

Part 2 coming really soon 🤩!

#cevans #andy barber smut #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #steve rogers smut #avengers #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #captain america

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