#and I'll get on your fuse but I rely on you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

silvervioletvalentine · 1 year

Text

❣️~I'll be getting over you my whole life~❣️

Pairings/ Max verstappen X fem OC Cherrie

And a little bit of

Cherrie X Charles leclerc too.

Word count: 8k

Warnings : pure angst babbyyyyy. Sorry for the heartbreak guys. My bad! I was listening to labyrinth by taylor when I wrote this. Highly recommend to help with the shattering of your heart xoxo

Cherrie could only sigh loudly , her face a clear expression of irritation and unpleasantness as she looked boredly back at the reporter in front of her , yet another middle aged man who felt the need to bring up the name of someone that they just knew would bring up not so happy emotions for her .

Struggling to keep her temper under control as she glanced over her shoulder to see her best friend and assistant, the one woman who was there to make sure she didn't say something stupid or embarrass herself in front of the media , rapidly shaking her head as she made cut throat motions at her.

Clearly warning her not to say what she was thinking, not to do what she always did whenever his name was brought up to her .

Not to blow a fuse.

Well too late Amanda . She thought grimly to herself with a pissed off frown.

That fuse had been lit a long time ago and no amount of media training was going to be able to blow it out now .

"You and max are both striving to win the championship again this year. With max winning last year , do you think that you stand a chance against him? He's seems very determined to become champion once again." The man questioned her , camera focusing in her direction.

No doubt the man had zoomed in to capture the way her eyes twitched just from hearing Max's name spoken to her.

Cherrie cleared her throat in annoyance as she crossed her arms tightly over her chest , pulling her sunglasses down to cover her eyes.

Her father had always told her that her eyes never lied , and well , she didn't want them screaming 'fuck you and fuck max too!’ the camera now did she?

"I think that I stand a good chance , an even better one this year . With my new team and teammates who won't fuck me over like my last one did, I think I'll do brilliantly." She bluntly answered the question. Bouncing on the heels of her feet in annoyance , just wanting to get this whole thing over with.

She hated talking to the press because she knew that all they wanted to hear about was the drama that has taken place between her and max .

It had ruined the whole experience for her and where once upon a time she had enjoyed talking to them and chatting to them about her races , she had now come to dread them.

Because it was no secret to anyone what had happened between the two former teammates , it had been screened worldwide for everybody to see and watch her get fucked over by the one person that she had trusted and thought to have her back.

She hated herself for being so naive because all trusting max verstappen had gotten her was a lost championship.

What should have been her first ever one too and everybody knew that she should have won, it was a no brainer.

Yet something had gone wrong .

The weeks following up to that race had been filled with nothing but bickering and dirty looks from

Max , who had seemed to woke up one morning and decided that he now hated her guts.

She didn't know what it was that she had done so wrong , more than confused and hurt to why he was suddenly acting so cold and uncaring towards her now .

Because as far as she knew , they had been good friends .

He was someone that she had relied on and went to for advice . He had welcomed her into the red bull family with open arms and had been the first one to congratulate her on each milestone that she passed .

They had become known for being a machine duo on the track , both of them making it into the podiums together . Always winning side by side no matter what.

Even off the track they had become close . With Cherrie following him back to his hometown for the holidays and max doing the same with her as well, they practically spent all their free time together.

He had been her favourite person. She could admit.

He was Someone that she had highly respected and loved being around . Each race had been a good one no matter the outcome because they had each other at the end of the day.

Their quickly formed bond had become unmatched and everybody was always commenting on their closeness and how they wouldn't be seen too far from the other .

Finding it strange that Max, someone who didn't like to get to close with other people, who had made racing his life , who had pushed everyone away to focus on his career , had suddenly become so attached to her side over night.

He hated public affection . Yet whenever she was around , his arms would always be around her shoulders or her waist.

Or his shoulder would always be knocking into hers when they sat side by side as he whispered jokes into her ear to make her laugh. Looking so proud with each smile that he could bring out of her , laughing whenever she did as the the sound of her giggles were contagious.

He had refused to even let her drive herself home as well. Claiming that he wanted to be the one to make sure that she got home safely after each race , then claiming that he needed to come in to see her cat anyways .

Then he would end up staying the night , the both of them falling asleep with their arms wrapped around each other like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Because it had been.

She had thought that she had finally found someone to trust and have her back, He had quickly become a very important part of her life.

And then out of nowhere he had started acting strange. Not so nice anymore.

No longer did he put his arm around her shoulder , he didn't even come close to her anymore .

And no longer did he drive her home.

It was as though a switched had been flipped and every single piece of happiness between them began to rapidly fade away with each snide comment and blank stare he gave her .

He looked at her like he no longer wanted to even know her name. As though being around her was a chore for him.

Cherrie hasn’t wanted to believe it and every time she had tried to get him to open up and tell her why he was behaving like this , he always shut her down by simply not saying anything at all.

Just giving her a cold scoff and a rolling of his eyes before he would walk away , leaving her to wonder to herself what the hell had gone so wrong in such a short amount of time.

She had naively hoped that their friendship was just going through a phase , a trial if you will. Thinking that maybe max had some personal issues going on that was causing him to treat her this way, hoping that it would pass and that things would go back to normal and that they could go back to being friends again.

How clueless she had been.

Because that fateful day had then happened happened that completely changed her life .

It was their last race of season , one that would decide who became world champion next . They went head to head . The both of them had been pushing their cars to the fullest and Cherrie had felt her heart racing excitedly in her chest with each lap that she crossed .

She had been third place , half a second behind max when she knew that she could push even further . That she was faster than him then, she could hear her team telling her over the radio that max had been told to let her past .

As it was expected . She was clearly faster than him and needed to pass.

She had pulled her car to the left slightly , ready to overtake him as she had waited for him to pull back a little for her to pass.

Only panic had consumed her when instead of moving to let her through, he had kept pushing and closed the gap.

They had been wheel to wheel, sparks threatening to fly from the rubber as they sped around the corners side by side .

"He needs to let me pass! What is he doing?!" She had shouted down her radio with wide eyes as she struggled not to be taken off the track. Eyeing max’s car next to her in both anger and disbelief .

Their radio's had been connected and she could hear the team yelling at max too , in as much panic as she was about his sudden actions that were putting them both at risk.

"Max! You need to let Cherrie through. Shes got new wheels and can push faster! Let her through max!"

Jerking her wheel as she pressed harder on the pedal , expecting max to finally let her pass once had had realised the danger that he was putting them both in.

But that never happened .

His voice had came through he radio all low and angry and her heart fell to her stomach as she saw the sharp corner that they were coming up to next .

A corner that only had enough room for one of their cars to turn with.

"No." Was all he said before the radio went off on his side as he continued to ignore their teams demanding he do otherwise .

"No!no! No!" She could only mutter in panic .

Unable to pull back and unable to pass max without him letting her , leaving her trapped between Max's back wheel and the car behind her .

Then it happened. She saw max jerk his wheel a little to the right in her direction as they finally came speeding around the corner at insane speeds , she saw the sparks of her wheel first before she felt the end of his car ram against her side harshly .

And immediately her car went flying off the tracks and into the air . Her wheels flying off somewhere behind her as she let out a small scream of fear and shock, squeezing her eyes shut as her car bounced around for a moment before finally crashing into the wall. The front crushing and the halo only just managing to stop everything that fell on-top of her from the impact .

There had been nothing but the ringing of her ears and the harshness of her breath for a few minutes as she quickly shut off her engine and opened her eyes.

Lower lip quivering as her eyes filled with tears , inhaling deeply as she smelt the smoke bellowing out of her engine before voices suddenly reached her ears as people began to quickly flip her car back over and pulled her out .

But Cherrie had been unable to even feel anything but pure rage and hurt as she realised that this was it.

That she was out.

That she had lost the championship that should have been hers . Because of max.

Her own teammate , someone that she had trusted and cared for had stabbed her in the back and deliberately pushed her off the tracks .

She couldn’t believe it.

"He could have killed me." She had muttered to herself in disbelief as the medics pulled her away from her car that was now going up in flames .

Her head ringing with pain as she glanced over her shoulder just as the safety car led the rest of the drivers around the track as they cleaned up the debris from her broken car.

She only saw the helmet on Max's head turned in her direction before she turned away and never looked back again.

Max had won the championship and two weeks later she had announced her transfer to Ferrari. And she had never spoken to him again.

He had tried calling her at first . She had blocked his number .

He had turned up at her house , she had the number to her private gates changed so he couldn't access it anymore .

She had blocked him on all social media and refused to acknowledge him unless she had to. And even then , she refused to play nice . Refused to pretend that she couldn't stand the sight of him anymore .

She was angry . But mostly hurt . Which led to her calling him every name and every insult that came to the mind . She had made it clear to the media or to anybody that asked that she didn't like him, that she no longer had any respect for him as a person.

Max tried to play it cool to the press . Having publicly apologised numerous times , never talking her down to the media unlike she did.

She slagged him off at every chance she got . Now was no different .

All eyes would be on them again today as Cherrie prepared to be sat on a stage in front of a room full of people to discuss the upcoming season.

They had decided that both she and max , being the most talked about and the ones leading their teams to victory , were the ones that were going to be paired together for the conference that day.

She thought that they were incredibly stupid . What did they think was going to happen by pairing them together like this? No doubt the teams were hoping to make them look like a United front . The try and dampen the image of their 'rivalry' to make them look friendly again.

She thought it was ridiculous because there was no way in Satan's asshole that she was was going to play friendly with max ever again.

He had fucked her over . Made her lose the championship and for what? She still didn't know.

He could get fucked. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with him anymore .

As they walked over to the stage where two black chairs were set out with a small table between them, two glasses of fresh water placed on either side.

Cherrie couldn't help but groan as she glanced down at the text Charles had sent her , a picture of him and Lewis about to do their interview popping up on her screen making her click her tongue in envy.

Then he sent another picture of him blowing her a kiss with a cheeky look on his face .

She showed it to Amanda with a scowl on her face , looking at her assistant unhappily .

"Why couldn't I have had Lewis? Or better yet Charles?" She muttered moodily as she put her phone away after sending him a picture of her and her middle finger up.

He knew how annoyed she was that she was going to be stuck with max . Knew how much she had pleaded with their team to let her interview with him instead . Only giving her a sympathetic cuddle and apologetic kiss on the cheek when it was announced that she would have to face max .

No backsies aloud.

He had spent the morning hyping her up and telling her over and over again that she could get through it. That she was a strong woman who needed to face max in order to move on.

She knew that he was right.

She didn't have to like it though.

Amanda just glanced at her with a sigh "because they want to make it look like you and max are on good terms to the media. It doesn't look good for the brand if two of their top racers hate each other." She stated the obvious .

Cherrie just scoffed and rolled her eyes. "It doesn't look good when one of them crashes the other off the track now either does it? This is so stupid . I don't want to do this." She stated unhappily as she saw somebody else motion for her to stay put by the side of the stage while they waited for max to arrive so they could both walk out together .

Her friend just squeezed her shoulder gently "I know but you have to. Just pretend it's Charles. Be nice." She advised her .

Cherrie gave her a look , shaking her head in disbelief .

“Charles didn't try to kill me..." she muttered bitterly .

Before glancing back over to the other side of the stage just in time to see max being ushered in by his assistant , his head turning to look around the room , his eyes looking for someone before they finally fell on her.

His eyes widened for a moment before his lips parted as though he was about to say something . But before he could the the clicking of cameras turned on as they were both being pushed up onto the stage .

Cherrie walked out from the left side while max came from the right . The both of them plastering smiles on their faces as they waved at the cameras and nodded to the people in the room.

Taking a seat on her chair , she crossed her legs over each other before leaning back and getting comfortable . Not even looking over to the man beside her, yet she could feel him stare at the side of her face as they both picked up the microphone they had been given.

There was a long pause that felt nothing but tense and uneasy as no one said anything .

Neither knowing which one should speak first before max finally decided to open his mouth.

"Hello." He simply said to the reporters and fans that were there . Smiling at them a little .

His eyes glancing back over at Cherrie for a second , feeling his heart race in his chest just at the sight of her .

Taking in the tight , red Ferrari shirt and jeans that she was wearing . Her long hair let down in her usual beach waves , red nails and red lipstick to match.

Clearly making her statement .

Ferrari was her family now . No more blue .

Cherrie just smiled at the crowd instead of speaking , waiting for the first journalist to start.

A man stood up with a microphone and nodded at the both of them as the questions started rolling. From race strategies to new helmets and cars , they both took turns answering the questions that were asked of them.

It had been going quite well until about half an hour later when the journalists got more comfortable with getting down to the drama that they were all clearly waiting for.

"Cherrie this questions is for you." A smart dressed man had started . Looking at her seriously "how are you settling into Ferrari? You and Charles seemed to be getting along well. Making a great United front for the team." He said.

Cherrie sat up in her chair a little as she cleared her throat and nodded her head. Seeing max turn his head to look at her from the corner of her eye .

Inhaling deeply before she smiled "it's going well yes. My team is amazing and I've bonded really well with them. And Charles too. We have a great friendship and I know that I can trust him and that we race well together. Even off the track he is an amazing guy. I feel very lucky to work with him." She rambled on truthfully .

She adored Charles . He really was the best teammate she had ever had .

The man picked up on her wording of trusting her teammate quickly and ran with it .

Following up with "I'm glad that you're settling in well. I can't lie and say that I'm not a little surprised that you seem to have trusted Charles so easily to have your back. Especially looking back at your past with your other team." He didn't beat around the bush.

Max tensed at the clear point out to what he had done .

Inhaling sharply as he felt his heart sink to his stomach at the reminder of his badly he had fucked up.

Glancing over to watch as Cherrie refused to even look at him. Merely raising her eyebrow and letting out a small hum.

She laughed a little "well Charles isn't max." She bluntly said making Amanda facepalm from where she was stood watching from the side of the stage.

Clearly knowing that it was all about to go downhill and that there was nothing she could do about it now.

Max just pursed his lips and shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Frowning over at her as he felt the sting from her words hit his chest.

She had never even given him the chance to apologise or even try to explain.

He knew that he had fucked up and all he wanted to do was go back to the past and change his impulsive decision that had cost him not only his best friend but his teammate too.

But he couldn't do that and he knew that he would be regretting his actions for the rest of his life .

He just wished she would let him talk to her so that he could at least try to fix the mess he had made .

The journalist frowned "can you elaborate on that?"

Cherrie frowned as well. Sighing a little too loudly , this time she looked over at max to see him already looking back at her , his eyes unreadable as he stared at her .

"I mean that they're two different people that I've worked with. And I know that Charles won't run me off the track. I don't have to fear for my life racing beside him." She explained to him casually .

Not looking away from max as she watched his face fall at her words , swallowing audibly before he finally looked away.

The man who asked her the question thanked her before another man took his turn.

Clearly eager to pick onto the tension that was now filling the room between the two drivers , he looked over at max .

"And what do you think about what Cherrie has just said? Do you think that she's better with Ferrari than she was in redbull with you as her teammate?"

Max took in a deep breath as he chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment . Trying to push past his own feelings so that he could answer clearly.

Fiddling with the microphone in his hand as he spoke "I understand why she thinks that. But I never intended for that to happen. I didn't and never had wanted to hurt her or put her life at risk." He looked at Cherrie firmly as he spoke .

Needing her to understand that he hasn't deliberately set out to put her at risk. He didn’t want to hurt her.

It had been a stupid split second decision fuelled by anger and jealously , bitterness had clouded his mind and took away his rational thinking .

He had blinked and the next thing he had knew , he had seen nothing but her car being flown into the air before it crashed into the wall and into pieces, smoke quickly blocking his sight of her .

His heart had sunk to the bottom of his stomach the moment he had done it . Panicked and upset as he tried to get his team to tell him if she was okay.

They hadn't answered him at first , clearly shocked and angry with what he had just done.

He had regretted it every second since.

"And I think that she'll do well no matter what team she is in. It doesn't matter how good of a car you have if you aren't a good driver . And she is so.." he trailed off not knowing what else to say.

He couldn't exactly cry and grovel on his knees to her in front of the whole world . No matter how much he felt like doing so.

Cherrie just scoffed beneath her breath, an action that the journalist picked up on.

"Anything to add?" He said.

Cherrie just rolled her eyes. "No." She lied.

She had plenty things she wanted to say. None were suitable for camera.

The man chuckled a little to try and ease the tension. "So I guess it's safe to say that their is no love lost between you two?"

Max sighed quietly . Feeling himself grow more upset by the minute .

This was the closest he had been to Cherrie in months . And he could feel just how much she hated him just by looking at her.

It broke his heart . But he knew that this was his own fault . His own stupidity had done this .

"I have nothing against her . Nothing but respect . I admire her as a person and as a driver. I hope that one day we will be able to become friends again, to put the past behind us." He spoke slowly and honestly as he looked over at Cherrie. Taking the chance to talk directly to her while he could .

Because he knew that as soon as they got off this stage was that there was a chance that he could never get this chance again.

Cherrie shook her head at him as she met his eyes, pursing her lips in anger as she glared back at him. Heart clenching in her chest.

How dare he? She thought angrily. He was the one that had done this. and she didn't even know why!

He had turned on her . Crashed her car off the track which could have killed her! He had been nothing but be an asshole , even before that cursed race had started!

And he wanted her to just move on and let it go?

"And you Cherrie? Do you think that you two could become friends again?" The man asked her.

Cherrie let out a humourless laugh, shaking her head . Ignoring the way Amanda was motioning for her to stop it.

"Absolutely not. I'm not his friend and never will

Be again. I don't need backstabbers in my life anymore." She casually said as though she wasn't slicing him down with each word she spoke.

Max inhaled sharply , frowning over at her .

“That's not fair." He muttered away from the microphone but she still heard him.

Snapping her head over to him with a scowl, glaring back at him. Pain filling her at the reminder of how much she had cared for him.

She would have done anything for him. But he had just turned on her out of nowhere , stabbed her in the back like it was nothing!

"Fair? You want to talk about fairness?" She hissed are him furiously "what's fair about you trying to fucking kill me?!"

He glared back at her in frustration, turning his body to face her fully .

"I didn't try to kill you! I've tried to tell you this! It was an accident . I wasn't thinking-" he tried to explain. Ignoring the way his team was motioning for him to shut up as well.

She laughed mockingly "clearly! You just wanted to be a winner and knew that I would have won so you have to eliminate me from the race didn't you?!" She shot back at him. Forgetting where they were for a moment .

Max's eyes widened , is that what she really thought of him? That he stabbed her in the back just so he could win?

"That's not true ." He shook his head desperately "not at all! If you would just hear me out -"

She abruptly stood to her feet , cutting him off. Throwing the microphone down on her now empty seat , she sent a grimace over to the crowd .

"Sorry but I can't do this ." She apologised to them

Angrily as she stormed off the stage. Hearing max say her name as he rushed after her .

"Cherrie please listen to me!" He called out to her as she pushed through the doors into a empty meeting room, cursing to herself as she picked up her phone that was ringing and quickly turned it off .

Not doubt she would be in for a nasty telling off later but right then she couldn't find it in her to care.

Feeling her heart pound in her chest, anger and hurt feeling like a lethal dose as she struggled to think straight . Struggled not to turn right around and punch him in his stupid face for putting them in this position in the first place .

Why did he have to do it? Why did she have to be so fucking stupid to have trusted him in the first place?

"Cherrie.." he muttered out uneasily as he slid into the room after her , slowly shutting the door behind him and leaning against it so that she had no way to run off before he could explain again .

Yet as he looked at her there in front of him . Looking back at him with teary eyes and hate written all over her pretty face , he felt everything he wanted to say fade away. His mind going blank.

Instead all he could croak out was a weak "I'm sorry." As he placed his hands over his face and tried not to cry. Trying to pull himself together and face what he had done.

Cherrie just looked back at him for a long moment , leaning her back against the wall behind her as she watched him press his knuckles into his eyes , his breathing as heavy and as erratic as her own was.

Feeling that part of her that still cared, that would always care about his well being , rise quickly up in her as she watched him try not to unravel in front of her.

"Max..." she could only sigh. Conflicted . Not knowing what she was supposed to do or how she was supposed to react now that they were face to face like this.

"Don't cry. You don't get to cry about this ." She muttered while uncomfortably glancing away from him, shaking her head stubbornly .

He sniffled before peering up at her with a small , hurt scoff .

"You don't think I'm upset? You don't think that this is affecting me too?" He ran his hands over his face in frustration. Crossing his arms over his chest as he looked back at her .

She hasn't changed at all. Even dressed in red and glaring back at him hatefully , she was still so beautiful it almost made him angry.

Did her new teammate spend hours gazing at her in awe like he used to? Did he get to see her in the mornings with no makeup on as she stumbled into the kitchen with nothing on but a large shirt?

Did he get to see her when nobody else did? In ways that no one else knew existed?

He hated himself for being so stupid and throwing it all away , if only he had talked to her .

If only he had told her why he was so upset ... maybe then she wouldn't have been looking back at him like she didn't know him anymore .

But she did know him. She was the only one that truly did.

"How do you think I feel then max? I trusted you and you stabbed me in the back! And for what? Just So you could win?" She was rightfully angry at him.

He could only shake his head pleadingly , taking a step closer to her . Wanting to reach out and take her in his arms like he used to, only this time he wouldn't let her go so easily.

"I saw a text on your phone from Amanda . That she had arranged a meeting with Ferrari to talk about your transfer..." he blurted out what had triggered his behaviour in the first place.

Feeling stupid and utterly ashamed as she stared back at him with disbelief in her eyes .

"What?" She breathed out. Brows furrowing in confusion . Remembering that she had woken up to a empty bed beside her that morning , no max In sight when her assistant informed her of the meeting.

It hadn't been definite then. Not before that disastrous race it hadn't .

Max swallowed audibly "you didn't - you didn't tell

Me that you wanted to move teams. I thought - I thought we were a team. That we worked so good together . Why would you want to leave?" Leave me went unsaid .

Cherrie scoffed a little , shaking her head at him in frustration and hurt .

"I didn't!" She finally admitted then making him freeze "i was just keeping my options open. My contract was ending and they called me in just to make an offer ." She told him honestly .

At the time of the meeting she had never thought about leaving redbull. More than happy with her place there .

But then her best friend and teammate had suddenly turned his back on her . Had pushed her off the track and left her no choice but to leave.

She couldn't have stayed there , not anymore. Not after that. It hurt too much to stay.

Max exhaled shakily , shaking his head quickly in denial.

"No. No. You-I thought that you wanted to leave. That you were just going to leave without telling me. I didn't know-" he couldn't believe how wrong he had been.

She hadn't been abandoning him. Hadn't been using him until something better came along. She hadn’t stabbed him in the back at all.

He was the only one who had done that. To her.

"No." Was all he could breathe out. Feeling sick as the realisation that this really all was his fault suddenly sunk in.

Cherrie realised what had really happened then too. Shaking her head at him , upset .

"You thought that I was just going to run off to Ferrari without even telling you? I didn't even want to go at first but you left me no choice in the end max..." she whispered to him.

Swallowing down the lump in her throat , unable to look away from him as she watched his whole face crumple in agony .

His legs could no longer hold his body up as he lowered himself down to the floor on shaking legs , a sob breaking free from his chest as he cried into his knees . So full of shame and guilt . It was killing him.

"God i am so sorry! I didn't meant to .. I wasn't thinking Cherrie!" He cried to her , looking up at her with a face full of guilt.

“I was just so angry. I thought that you were stabbing me in the back and I just - I didn't think at all-" was all he could repeat in tears.

Cherrie slowly lowered herself to floor beside him, leaning her back against the wall as she stared straight at the floor below her tiredly. Sniffling quietly.

Unable to believe that this whole mess had happened because of miscommunication.

If max had simply just talked to her about the text that he had seen... if he hadn't had run her off the tracks and took away her championship from her so easily...

"You could have killed me max . My engine went up in flames from the impact . You could have seriously hurt me all because you read a text on my phone and didn't think to talk to me about it first …before you started treating me like I was shit underneath your shoe.." she breathed out .

Just so exhausted with harbouring the anger and hurt she felt from how cruelly he had treated her.

So tired of feeling this way.

Max squeezed his eyes shut in shame "I know. I should have just talked to you but - I didn't and I just -" he struggled to find the right words to explain how crushed he had felt at the time. "I thought you were going to leave me. And abandon me like- I cared so much about you that the thought of you-"

Cherrie shook her head again. Frowning at her shoes as she thought about how Charles would no doubt be blowing up her phone now, losing his mind with worry .

There was no way that he hadn't seen their disaster conference by now.

He would be so worried . No doubt pacing the room and making up the worst case scenarios in his head to why she wasn't answering her phone .

Because he cared .

Yet he would talk to her about his worries. Ask her about what he had seen or thought , he wouldn't just ignore her and treat her like shit because of a little misunderstanding.

He would get to the bottom of the issue first. Then he would make sure she was okay and he wouldn't leave until he knew that she was back to herself again. Even if that took forever .

Because he cared . Yet he didn't treat her like max did. Like she was exposable . Like she wasn't worth speaking to if she accidentally upset him.

He would just tell her so and she would apologise , then they would move on. Because that's what people who cared did.

They didn't hurt each other like this. Didn't treat someone like shit. Didn't almost kill them by crashing them off the track because they were upset .

No amount of excuses would ever make up for what he did. He had put both of their lives at danger that night and truth be told their friendship had been over before then too.

It was over the moment he treated her like she was nothing .

It was over the moment he threw her away like their friendship had been disposable and her time was up.

She hadn't done anything wrong. Hadn't deserved the way he had treat her . Hadn't deserved to cry herself to sleep each night as she wondered what she had done wrong . Why he was treating her like this.

She hadn't deserved any of it. She realised it now.

"If you cared so much then why didn't you just talk to Me? You meant everything to me max .. I would have done anything for you." She whispered to him. Unable to look at him anymore .

Max's lip quivered as he sucked in a shaky breath.

Looking at the side of her face tearfully as she refused to look back at him, instead she had her phone clutched in her hand and was staring down at the floor with her lips pursed.

"Don't please . You meant everything to me too-"

"You threw me away like I was nothing max! You don't do that to people you care for . God-"

He grabbed onto her hand desperately , panic filling him as he felt her pull away from him , not only physically but emotionally too.

"I loved you Cherrie!" He almost shouted in desperation . Needing her to understand why he had done it . Even though it didn't make much sense at all.

“I was in love with you and I thought you were just going to leave me -"

Cherrie couldn't believe what she was hearing . Turning on her phone and waiting for the screen to load as she put it down on the floor between them and covered her face with her hands , trying not to cry.

She had wasted enough tears on him. She was just so tired of crying. She didn't want to do this anymore.

"You loved me so you had to hurt me? You loved me so much that you crashed my fucking car?! How does that make any sense max?!" She almost screamed at him, so fucking tired of this shit.

She shoved him away from her when he made a move to touch her again.

He didn't get to do that anymore .

"I wasn't thinking! I didn't mean to . I was just so angry at the thought of you fucking me over like that - that I just - I just blinked and the next thing I knew your car was flying through the air!" He shouted back, upset and ashamed of himself . There was no other way to put it.

He had fucked up. He knew he had .

Cherrie let out a humourless laugh . "So that makes it okay? You were angry and you crashed my car . You could have killed me. Because you assumed the worst of me. Because you didn't trust me." She shook her head at him sadly .

"You don't think about someone you love like that max . I know. Because I loved you . And I trusted you and I never once thought the worst of you until that day. Even when you were being cruel and pushing me away I kept giving you chances. Kept hoping that you would be nice to me again and that things would turn out okay ..." she exhaled loudly with annoyance towards herself for letting it slide so easily.

She deserved better than that.

Max struggled not to break down into sobs again, looking at her with tears in his eyes. Heart sinking deep in his chest.

"You loved me back?" Was all he could whisper .

She finally looked at him then. Smiling sadly "'course I did. Otherwise why else would I let you treat me like that and still have hope in you? Love makes you naive sometimes ..." she muttered quietly .

Max felt like he was going to be sick.

He had come after her in hopes of fixing things and starting over but he had a feeling then that that wasn't what she wanted anymore .

His time had run out .

Yet he still tried , he had to . "I still love you. I'm so sorry Cherrie. If you just give me another chance-"

Cherrie cut him off before he could even finish. Inhaling deeply as she told herself that this was the right thing to do. She couldn't let it keep hurting her like this forever .

She had to move on and in order to do so she had to finally let the past go.

There was no use in clinging onto something that had been over for a while now .

Didn’t she deserve to finally be happy? To be free of this hole in her chest that he has carved out in his name?

"No. I can't. I've come so far now max..." she decided to be honest with him too.

“I felt like I had nothing when you threw me away. Felt like I was nothing but then.." she exhaled shakily as she thought about how much her life had changed over the last year and a half .

How her darkened days had suddenly turned so bright and warm again. As though the sun had been placed in her heart where the max sized space had been left.

"I got a second chance . And I felt what it was like to have a teammate who trusted me. Who boosted me up instead of putting me down. Who didn't make me feel like one wrong word would make him leave me. I didn't have to walk on eggshells around him.." she smiled a little at the thought of him.

“I didn't have to mould myself to what he liked because he liked me on my own. The bad and the good .. who doesn't treat me like shit when something doesn't go his way.." as she talked her phone lit up with an incoming call, vibrating between them.

Both of their eyes went down to the picture of Charles and her that was lighting up her screen.

In the picture the both of them were lying back in her bed under the covers with their heads pressed together , Charles was looking down at her with a grin of adoration on his face as she laid there with a bright green face mask on her skin. Mid laugh as Charles took the photo.

Max felt his heart break in his chest. Exhaling shakily as the phone call came to an end , not even a minute letter a text popped up on her screen from him.

Please call me back as soon as you can mon amour.

I'll wait for you at home. Everything is going to be okay. I love you no matter how crazy people think you are for going berserk on live tv!

P.S your dad is worried . Please call him back too. I can only distract him for so long bébé! X

He swallowed audibly . Watching as Cherrie picked up her phone and typed a reply , her face softening as she read what Charles was typing to her.

Max just let out a sad chuckle , wiping at his tearful eyes with the back of his hand. The last of his hope draining away .

Of course Charles loved her. Who wouldn't? She was perfect . The type of woman men could only dream of spending their life with.

And he could have had that. Could have been the one that she was smiling down at her phone at . The one that she called home .

But he had ruined it . He was the only one to blame this time around.

She had moved on.

He have a feeling then as the pain in his heart only grew , that he may never would.

He was going to love her forever .

"You love him?" Was all he could whisper to her. Not sure he even wanted to know her answer .

But she gave it to him anyway. She thought that he at least deserved to hear the truth.

"I do." She smiled a little just at the thought of Charles as she saw another text come through , this time of him asking her if she wanted pasta or pizza when she got home.

Home being her apartment . Her apartment where Charles had made himself at home in. He had half of her closet and three of her draws .

He had taken a load of her clothes over to his apartment too without even telling her. Simply transferring their things into both of there apartments until it was equal.

Home is with you. He had whispered one night to her underneath the covers on the bed of another hotel room while they were in another country again.

Doesn't matter where I am. As long as you're with me, I don't care.

And that had been that. Whenever she went , Charles followed .

And she didn't have to beg him to spend time with her. She had finally found someone that couldn't stand to be away from her.

Who got upset when they didn't see each other. Who always wanted to hangout . Who always wanted to talk to her about everything and nothing at the same time

He actually liked being around her . Without her asking .

He loved her without any conditions or rules. He loved her like it was the last time he would ever get to do so, yet he treated her like every time was the first time too.

She finally felt what it was like to find a lover in your best friend . To not have to fear loving someone or being loved in return.

Because loving Charles was easy.

Loving max had brought her nothing but pain.

And she knew who she would choose. With no hesitation in her mind.

So as another text light up her phone , Charles sending her a picture of himself cuddled up with her cat in her bed .

She pushed herself up off the floor with a smile , feeling like a weight was being pushed away from her shoulders as she extended her hand down to max to pull him up too.

"He loves me max . Really loves me. And he likes me too." She told him softly as she looked up at him with what could only be called a look of acceptance and closure .

She was finally ready to move on.

Max sniffled quietly as he squeezed her hand three times , lips quivering as he tried not to break down and cry again.

Not while she was still there.

"And there's nothing I can do to make you stay?" He asked her in a whisper . Voice breaking.

But Cherrie just smiled and shook her head sadly at him. Reaching up to gently kiss his cheek goodbye before finally pulling away.

"Not anymore . He's my person. I can feel it. I can feel his love for me max." She told him truthfully as she slowly walked over to the door. Ready to turn another page in her life again.

"I never felt your love. And what is love of you can't feel it? Goodbye Max." She pulled open the door before looking over her shoulder at him one last time.

"I forgive you."

And then she left.

And as the door fell shut behind her , max fell to his knees with a pained cry. Because he knew then that he had lost the love of his life.

But unfortunately while she may have been his, he was no longer the love of hers anymore .

He was too late.

#max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #formula one imagine #Charles leclerc imagine #Charles Leclerc x reader #f1 x reader

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zoeykallus · 1 year

Note

Hi! I see you take requests for one shots! Could you do an echo x reader (fluff only) where the reader helps echo through a panic attack on the battlefield and echo ends up telling her about his feelings? Thanks!

Aloha! Well yes, I did, still do, and they keep coming in, so I'm a little slow to catch on, very sorry about that. But now you finally get your ask/request done 😊 Also, I'm assuming you mean TBB Echo, so that's what I'm going with. If you were thinking of pre Citadel Echo, let me know and I'll write something new.

Echo x Reader One-Shot - Always

Warnings: Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Tension/Fluff/Mention And Description Of A Panic Attack

_______________

It's nothing new, enemy fire, a tense situation, jumping from cover to cover. But something is different for Echo today. He climbs a ridge to survey the battlefield when a blaster shot hits his right prosthetic leg, right in the knee joint. He pulls himself up just in time. "Kriffin hell!" growls Echo, cursing. You hear his curse over the comm in his helmet and ask anxiously from your cover, "Echo? Are you okay?" He doesn't answer right away. Echo tries to stand up, but his prosthetic leg refuses to serve him. The leg remains stiff and cannot be bent, the joint fused together from the blaster shot. Echo tries to get up again and again, although the rational part of his mind knows that the prosthesis is simply broken. Cold sweat breaks out, his heart beats up to his throat, his breathing gets faster and faster, his muscles tense up, his body feels heavy as lead and immobile all at once. "Echo? Answer me!" Tech checks his new gadget, a small monitor built into his bracer connected to all the batchers, there he can see the vital signs of all the team members. "Sharply elevated pulse, frantic breathing, muscle tension, I think Echo is having a panic attack," he finally informs you. You bite your tongue to suppress the curse that automatically wants to come out of your mouth. "Cover me for a moment," you murmur to Tech and Wrecker, who were with you and Echo. "We've got your back, ad'ika!", Wrecker assures you and resolutely blasts two more droids. Ducked, you run to the rocky ridge and begin to climb, you must now fully rely on Tech and Wrecker to really have your back, draw their fire and make sure no one shoots you in the back. You are not disappointed, yet your heart races, and you feel adrenaline flood your system as you reach the top. At the top you see Echo lying there on his back, he moves a little, but very stiffly and by now you can hear his frantic breathing over the comm. "Echo, I'm here, everything's fine," you say as your gaze flies hastily over his body, searching for wounds.

You discover the fused joint on his prosthetic leg and guess what happened. Echo was hit, which is scary enough in itself, but when he could no longer move freely as a result, panic set in, and now he was lying here. As he tries to take off his helmet with a shaking hand, you stop him. "No, don't take off your helmet, we are still on the battlefield". You try to tell him as gently as you can and take his hand off his helmet, but you have to push through. A stray or even aimed blaster shot could be much more dangerous or even deadly without a helmet. "I can't move," Echo finally croaks tensely. "Yes you can, Echo, it's just the prosthetic that got hit, until it's replaced or repaired you'll need a support, but you have no injury," you say patiently, holding his hand. He's shaking, and you can still hear his uneasy breathing over the comm. "Echo, listen to my voice, okay? Focus on my words and look at me." He takes two deeper, slower breaths, trying to catch himself, and you see his head turn a little to look at you. Even though you can't see his face right now, his visor is pointing right at you. You would like to show him your face, but the Safety 1x1 that Hunter taught you took precedence. One of the first rules regarding armor and general protective clothing, never take off your helmet in combat, only if there is no other way at all. But he knows your helmet, he knows your voice, Echo decorated your helmet with you, so he has a familiar image in front of him. "You'll be fine, I'm sure Tech can fix it or replace it. You just got scared, it happens to all of us. But now you have to pull yourself together, the battle isn't over yet. Besides, you promised me that we would cook your famous stew together tonight". You deliberately refrained from titling it panic attack or panic in general. The word itself could have a violent effect opposite to the desired result. Some words can have a very strange power over a person.

Echo continues to breathe deeply, in and out. It takes a long moment, but finally he replies, "I haven't forgotten, I intend to keep my promise, Mesh'la." Relief floods through you. "Very good, then let's shoot the clankers down there, so we can get home".

Back on Ord Mantell: Your helmet tucked under your arm, you enter Tech's small workshop, where he is busy fitting Echo's new prosthetic leg. "Hey guys," you say cheerfully. "Hello ad'ika," Tech says kindly, though without looking up from his work on the prosthetic. Echo looks up at you from his seated position. "Hey lifesaver," he says with a wry smile. "Now, don't exaggerate," you say with a soft laugh. Tech says matter-of-factly, "I don't think Echo is exaggerating, he was in an awkward position, a panic attack in the middle of combat is a death sentence for most soldiers." Echo and you look at Tech with furrowed brows, actually you should be used to his straightforward manner by now. "How's it looking?" you ask to change the subject, "Can you handle it with the new prosthetics?" "Of course," Tech replies almost indignantly. When he finishes and Echo gets up to test the prosthesis, everything seems to work right off the bat. "Thanks Tech, I owe you one," Echo says. "Don't mention it," Tech says, "I still have to help Crosshair with his rifle, I guess it got damaged during Hunter and Crosshair's little trip together." You raise your eyebrows, "They're both okay though?" "Yeah, no injuries, Crosshair's just a little whiny about his beloved rifle" Tech noted. Tech retreats to find Crosshair, along with his toolbox, and for the moment you are alone with Echo in the small workshop. He seems strangely nervous all of a sudden. He clears his throat and finally says, "There's something I'd like to tell you." Astonished, you look at him, "Oh yeah?" "Yes. Today has made me realize that I shouldn't wait any longer to do this. The way we live, any day can be the last and I don't want to end up regretting not addressing certain things" "Oh."l Echo moves closer to you until he is standing relatively close to you.

"None of the others could have gotten me out of that stupor today as easily as you did. I know they all would have tried, but.... Well, so what I'm saying is..." Echo pauses for quite a while, licks his lips nervously, and finally says, "I've developed feelings for you. Something I never really expected. I was born a soldier, or created, depending on how you want to look at it, I've lived as a soldier, and it never occurred to me to be anything else or expect more out of life." Your heart beats faster, and you know you are staring wide-eyed at him right now, but you can't help it. Echo continues, "But then you stumbled into our lives, you stayed, and I got to know you and by now I feel there is more to life than just being a soldier. I'd like to explore with you what exactly it all is. Does that make any sense?" For a moment, you just stare at him. He laughs nervously, avoids your gaze, and scratches the back of his neck. "Oh god, I'm really bad at this, in my head it all sounded completely different". You smile at him silently, giving him time to collect himself. Finally, he says laughing softly, "Okay, simply put, I have a crush on you". He looks from one point to another, avoiding your gaze, until he suddenly feels your lips on his cheek. Echo quietly says, placing his hand on your hip, "However, I have no idea where we go from here. Are we going out together? Should I buy flowers? Shall we go out to eat? Should I learn to dance? Do I kiss you now?" Smiling, you lean your forehead against his as he leans toward you, and you say, "How about we go to my apartment, you cook the stew with me as promised, and then we'll see?" He breathes a sigh of relief as he replies, "Sounds wonderful." "Then I'll see you at my place in an hour?" "All right," Echo says with a grin. As you're about to walk out, you turn around again and say, "Oh and Echo, take your toothbrush with you, just in case" Echo blinks, his cheeks flush a little, finally he nods with a shy but mischievous smile, "Got it. Oh, and thanks for coming to my rescue"

You smile and say, “Always”

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@taskfork-archive

@cpnt616

@starwarsnerd111

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moeatsushi · 1 year

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Dear Moeatsushi could u teach us how u do ur Oso-san artstyle?? O tell us how u learned to do it? 🙏🙏

i use a lot of references! too many. i have multiple canvases with screenshots with references for poses, expressions, etc. i recommend taking screenshots of everything you find interesting and studying the show's style. copying screenshots and official art as close as possible helps a lot, since you can compare the differences of proportions or technique. truth is you can apply this to any sort of study!

something i used to struggle a lot on was proportions; i often drew the characters with "proper" body proportions to their heads and ended up looking weird, since it's a very cartoony head on a not-so cartoony looking body. so watch out for that.

i left a little analysis down below about the line weight aspect since that's what i spend the most time looking at!

the line art is a little tricky since it relies on thicker lines rather than thin ones like in most anime, but it follows specific rules you can later on bend however you like. the lines are built, on it's essentials, like this:

line starts and ends in an increased thickness compared to the rest of the line, and bending points often result in thicker corners, making them less pointy. this technique is used mostly in the outlines while the lines inside it are often composed by thin traces with no line weight. example below.

notice the variety in weight on the outline while the inside of iyami's mouth and eyes are built with thin lines! they're often used for details and to add contrast.

they also make use of a very thick outlines surrounding the character, but it varies from scene to scene. sometimes they use it a lot, and sometimes they don't use it at all. depends on the type of shot and the purpose of it.

something to note is that the furthest the character is, the more consistent the line gets, resulting in less line variation.

parallel lines also tend to get fused in order to avoid uncomfortable looking gaps between them, specially in far shots.

they kinda glue the lines together if they're close enough lol, the hairs sticking out of their bowl cuts are the most common victims of the parallel line fusion.

also lines don't have to be THAT tidy either, if you look close enough some shots have very sketchy/wobbly looking traces. this is the part where i leave examples of that, but being completely honest i'm very sleepy so i'll let you do your own research on that.

anyways, i hope this is coherent enough to comprehend, i'm no expert but i know a thing or two about lines! if anything sounds too confusing you're more than welcome to shoot me another ask and i'll elaborate.

#osomatsu san line tutorial full crack 100% free + installation (2023)#might come back later to this and add stuff i forgot becuase this is like. a very light art analysis #text #ask

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kenzan-kiwami · 6 months

Text

i ought to get better at writing down my thoughts so i actually remember them. anyway, it's kashiwagi time again. strap yourselves in cause this is going to be very long & punctuated with discord screenshots

i've discovered recently that people seem to like it when i lay my thoughts out on him, which is honestly wild to me but here we are. like i say, i'd like to put my ideas somewhere i can actually access them somewhat easily instead of peppered randomly through two or three discord threads and my own tumblr tags, so this post will probably function as my own personal meta archive for him, because i'm allergic to tables and spreadsheets and i don't really want to rely on google drive any more than i am already.

(speaking of google drive, i have a repository here of most of kashiwagi's audio files. refer to the readme document for the reasons it's not all of them for now)

>the basics?

i'll start with his age because that's at the forefront of my mind at the moment. i like to think he's in the ballpark of 10 years older than kiryu and nishiki, which would put him around six years older than majima, two years older than adachi, and 13 years younger than kazama. thusly, with a calculated birth date of around 1958, discounting birth month, he is (approximately):

30 in yakuza 0 (1988)

37 at the start of yakuza 1 (1995)

47 through the rest of yakuza 1, after kiryu gets out on parole (2005)

48 in yakuza 2 (2006)

51 in yakuza 3/when he "dies" (2009) (also goes grey around this time, maybe the year before)

61 in yakuza: like a dragon & gaiden (2019)

66-ish in rgg8 (2024).

(this list has been incredibly helpful to me actually because my original thought was that he was eight years older than the boys... that would put him at the same age as adachi, which i'm not a huge fan of)

next up, sexuality - i think he's (almost) exclusively attracted to other men, with yayoi being an exception that proves the rule.

however, my idealised "ship" "timeline" for him is that he's with kazama until kazama gets naded, then does some FWB shit with majima until he himself "dies", then somewhere down the line after opening the bar ends up in a slow-burning "friend"ship with adachi, because who better to take out for dinner than the strapping old geezer in the glasses who serves you drinks and keeps a watchful eye on your extensive tab?

next, i think he's definitely nd. which is something you can say for most characters in this series in some way, but he has an interesting relationship with food (not just limited to what he eats, but how), is shown infodumping on several occasions, hardly if ever switches up what he wears (at most, colours), flat affect/resting bitch face/autism stare, hires extra staff at his hobby bar so that he doesn't have to speak to his customers as much, and behind his intimidating mask he has this awkward kind of energy that reminds me a lot of my own experiences with being a bit not-normal. he probably has an oral fixation.

also, sort of crack but also not, i enjoy the idea that he's light sensitive (or at least moreso than kiryu is):

>the meat

he is very highly strung - we see this on multiple occasions. he seems visibly less so after "dying" in 2009, so i'm chalking it up to the stress of having to run things as someone who has the right mentality for leadership (the other patriarchs call him "soft" in y3 for trying to resolve conflicts rather than fostering them) but just doesn't enjoy doing it. he does exceptionally well as kazama's number two, but in yakuza 0 while kazama is in jail, and in yakuza 2 after kazama dies and he inherits the family (and clan captainship), he seems very stressed out. i absolutely think that his reputation for lashing out and his "violent" disciplinary methods are due in part to stress shortening his fuse (with the latter also being learned behaviours from kazama - an old school yakuza & assassin). age and the experience of staring death and a CIA attack helicopter in the face also definitely play a part in mellowing him out.

on kazama, i'm shamelessly stealing inoue's reasons for joining the shinsengumi and applying that to kashiwagi, because, while i don't really think of them as the same guy, there is absolutely a reason they chose him specifically as inoue's bakumatsu face claim. i don't have many ideas as to what kashiwagi did before swearing up, but he's a man of debts and undying loyalty, so i believe kazama must have saved him or turned his life around in such a way that he felt he could do nothing but pledge himself to him. i also really enjoy the idea of kazama having given him his scar, but i'm not 100% on how that might have come around either.

to extrapolate even more bullshit headcanon from insignificant canon details, i think in the 80s he was a beginner hobbyist keyboard player. mostly looking at the judgement cinematic where he's not plugged in and playing a little out of sync BUT still doing whatever fucked up fruity little dance he's doing. the presence of the piano at survive makes me think he got a hell of a lot more into it in his newfound free time, as something else to keep his hands mobile as he ages and recovers from getting shot up by a heli. also, still love the little anecdote we get from iroha when she says he's good with his hands.

(related: i think he taught himself to blend traditional medicine for residual chronic pain relief)

>weirdguy momence

in a one-to-one phone conversation with kiryu, his younger brother figure, he calls daigo (with whom he is on a given name basis) 六代目

that moment near the start of y0 where he stares down at kiryu on the street from the family office window

i don't think any of his suits were fitted correctly until kiwami 2 because his jackets ENGLULF him on PS2 & PS3 and he's straight up rectangular in kiwami

fills an empty bottle of high-end whisky with pish to make his bar look more expensive and comes up with an elaborate cover story to stop people from buying it

the way he acts towards his direct authority figures

>i'm ill

using up the last of my image real estate to post some moments where i kind of maybe lost it just a little bit. by my own standards, of course.

#i will probably add more to this down the line when i can think in words and not just unspecified emotions #i've already spent the better part of three and a half hours on this post lmao #you will read my bad kashiwagi meta #kashiwagi osamu #text #meta #malware #1 spoilers #3 spoilers #note to self: add explosion trauma when i can think clearly enough to slot it in

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hyper-newt · 1 month

Text

Comet Hook devlog #3

First prototype done !!!

-----------------------------

Other devlogs : 1 - 2- 3

-----------------------------

New devlog !!!

I finished the prototype and you can play it :)

(it is bad though, but that's the point ! i can see what works and what doesn't)

Here's what new down below :o

So first, i'm sorry for the lack of devlogs, I actually finished the prototype a month and a half ago, but I needed to tweak some stuff before releasing it. And uh college stuff and I had to study. But I have a break right now so here we are :)

I wanted to lock in to finish the prototype, it is quite rushed but it helps to fail faster. That's why I removed a bunch of animation and simplified some stuff so i could work more on the gameplay loop (and now it's your problem >:) ).

And so, here are some notable changes : (also some gif are from old builds of the game, so stuff are a bit different on the public prototype)

Fusing comets ! Replaces having multiple comets at the same time (Having multiples comets should be an upgrade, but heh too lazy to code it)

There's three type of upgrade right now :

D -> Defense (bunch of extra health)

A -> Attack (extra health + extra damage)

S -> Speed (extra health + extra speed)

The little number under the letter is its health. So when you hit a fish with the comet, only the first upgrade will be hurt.

You can have up to three upgrades at once.

Catch multiple fishes

Catching multiples fishes at the same time grants you a bigger and stronger comet ! Isn't that cool ? But now if you do bad at the minigame, it will end (you can see the fish health at the right, and yours at the left).

Also fishes stay stunned for a limited time now, so you can't catch all of them at the same time

The Shop

I will not speak about how it looks

But anyway, take a comet, throw it in the sell box, and take an item like a comet and throw it in the buy box ! easy

And if you want money outside of selling, there's some gold fishes swimming around that you can KILL for money <3

Mini bosses

You see these little red orbs ? Destroy all the fishes around it and it will be unlock.

Attack it again, and !!! A miniboss !!!

Catch them all and you'll finish the level

A map to explore with upgrades

These little thingy make you stronger (health, speed and attack), collect them !

An actual boss ! (no spoilers hehe)

niark niark you'll have to suffer through the whole prototype

Now that the prototype is done, here are my thougths on it

I think it's a bit too hard and not that much intuitive, it also doesn't feel that much like a fishing game :/

The fishing minigame is also kinda boring, but that's because I didn't bother coding something smart. Though I think I can make it better in an other way.

I'm not a big fan of the gameplay loop, having to fight some minibosses could be cool but the way I did it doesn't really work

And finally comets can get annoying ! At the end you have too much of them and that's a waste of performance + no one will go get the comets they left behind, so I do need to work on it.

I go a bit more in depth in the itch.io description :

So I'll make another prototype (but I'll remove the boss at the end, it isn't worth it for a prototype, but for a demo sure! )

And for the youtube video version of these devlogs, I learning to write music to not rely on copyrighted content but it takes time :(

Anyway I hope you'll still have fun playing it though (three out of four people that tried the game liked it, that's neat)

Next devlog will be about another game, I want to try out some other games idea. I hope to be able to release it in a month or less, depends how I'm feeling (im sick of coding, drawing is easier and I can't even do that because it goes against the idea of prototyping argh !!!)

Thank you for reading this devlog and have a good day

bye byeeeee!!!!

#comethook devlog #comethook #devlog #game development #gamedev #indiedev #indiegamedev #game #fishing game #itch.io

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yanderefairyangel · 7 months

Text

Engage, 3 Houses and the "aesthetic of deep"

Alright, so this post will be comparing the uncomparable in order to make a point about how this fandom can easily be fooled by appearances and first impressions

So recently on TwittX I made a post asking

for context I made this after someone told me about the story establishing that Sombron raised Zephia....(no comment) and I got some interesting answers

Basically saying that the reason why people managed to misunderstand some plot point if not the entire story it was because "Engage had a "too simple" aesthetic opposed to 3H's "too complex" aesthetic".

For example, I received one answer saying this

I'll spare you the big details of this conversation but I choose this quote cause it was what stuck me the most. Alright, let's sum up what happened in the begining of 3H and Engage ok ?

3H : dream of Rhea/Seiros killing Nemesis, you chose you Avatar after talking with Sothie, you meet the Lords who need to defeat a bandit named Kostas, you get nearly killed, Sothie save you and give you the power to rewind time, you do it, you save the kids, they immediately tell you they want to hire you, you go to Garrech March and get hired as a teacher and got to choose one class. By 3 chapters, all you do is essentially mission and at some points, Jeratl dies, you fused with Sothie to escape a trap set by Solon and the war begins in chapter 11-12 where Eddie declares war.

Engage : you make a dream that will be explained by a time loop in chapter 24 where you fight the final boss and that you save the world. You wake up surrounded by Stewards telling you you are a dragon revered as a deity, you encounter monster, you try to run away but have to save the twins who risked their life to help you escape, Marth lend you a hand, you beat them and as more appears, your mother arrives to help you. She takes you to the castle where she explains to you that the Dragon that tried to destroy the world might have awoken and that you have to prepare yourself. You train. You go sleep and boom, people attack by surprise and steal the rings, killed your mother and you end up with the fate of the whole world relying on your shoulder when you are amnesiac, woke up from coma and just lost your mother that you didn't even had the time to properly mourn. By the time of chapter 10, the stakes were already established : Alear as the fate of an entire world on their shoulder, they are aware of it, they lost their mother, are amnesiac, weak and dependant. Byleth on the other hand has a new job and have to choose a class. Which one has bigger stakes ? Well according to the one who made the comment, it's 3H

"saving the world is pretty boring to me now".

Somehow, fans will find the premise of saving the world boring compared to choosing your class.

And reading more of the OP's answer made it clear why he thinks like that. It's all because of the aesthetic.

3H has the aesthetic of deep. Engage has the aesthetic of something that is just "silly" or simple.

This means that 3H, no matter what it does will be seen as having a deep story because it has the looks of it. And that Engage, no matter what it does, will be seen as no more then what it present on first glance because it doesn't have the "aesthetic of deep".

3H looks more mature from a art direction point of view, it has darker colors and strives to be an adult war chronicle

Engage has a more colorful artstyle that is perceived as childish because "anime" and strives to be a tradtional hero saves the world journey.

One sounds more complex with the several route, the other too simple. So, as a result, the fans never tries to go look beyond that.

They won't question 3H's depth or Engage's simplicity. And it is a problem.

The two are not comparable because of those precisely very different aesthetic but 3H's story makes it even more of an outlier as every story as always been like Engage's about a hero's journey. The devs said as much in the Engage interview. The only difference is that Engage never tries to wear the political make up that some game could use : FE 1/11/3/12 ? Marth's adventures. FE2/15 : Alm and Celica (mostly Alm's) adventures. FE 4 ? In reality, it's about Sigurd and then Seliph's struggling to save the world. FE5 ? Leif's journey. FE 6 ? Roy's. FE7 ? Eliwood's and his friends. FE 8 ? The Renais twins's. The Tellius game ? About Ike and then Micaiah's journey. Awakening ? About Chrom, Lucina and Robin's journey. Fates ? Corrin's journey.

3H is the only game that actually tries to deal with the war in a way that is not a make up, but even that is not true when Edelgard and Dimitri's route are about their journey in growing as a person.

Engage is following the pattern here. Thus 3H, no matter how light the stakes are (choosing a class) will always seems deeper and higher then the one set by Engage, because saving the world has become such a common scenario people don't even question the gravity of it anymore. This aesthetic of simplicity that Engage is considered to have make it impossible for them to actually pause and try to consider what it feels to be in Alear's shoes : to be amnesiac, having woke from coma, knowing nothing from the world, being scared by everything, being unable to manage the fights without exterior aid and having lost your mother. And it's not even thinking about the implications of this scene once you know about the whole story, that makes this begining a lot more darker.

If you put your shoes in Byleth's... you don't even know what consequences you choice will have because you just choose your class based on which one appealed to you the most. That"s all. The divorce between the player and the self insert couldn't be higher cause no matter how much foreshadowing 3H has when it comes to this decision.... nothing changes the fact that Byleth will never knew nor expect the consequences of their action, which makes the stakes rather flat in contrast to Engage's where you are facing someone who is mourning and has to safe the world, a 17 year old who just woke up and will have to mature up quickly to become a hero. Really, which stakes are higher when you look deeper into it ?

And that's not getting into how replaying changes the perception of most of Engage's first moment. Chapter 2 was at first a very light hearted chapter, but when you realize it was written to parallel with chapter 25, what it represent to Lumera and Alear, the evolution... all of this elevate a fun chapter 2 into a tragic bounding between mother and child making the light hearted of this moment shines even brighter, cause you know that you will lose Lumera, that Alear will lose their mother even though they don't know yet that it was their very first time in being family with Lumera and the tragedy repeats each time you replay.

In 3H, this doesn't exist. Take for example the one moment that happens at least thrice ; the battle between the three lords. It happens in the first chapter of White Clouds, the chapter 7 and... in one of the chapter of AM. So basically, you have all those infor about the Battle of the Lion and the Eagle and for some reason this chapter doesn't exist in CF and SS ? And unlike in Engage where the response to Lumera's death from Alear was very different and meant to showcase their developpement... the reaction from your students remains the same in chapter 1 and 7. So... no progression. Byleth will smile but ... that's it. Just that. And I know, they don't emote often but ... that's just it. This doesn't help when this reaction doesn't really matter in route that don't have the chapter supposed to parallel with that one. And also, you are supposed to have a feast after the battle where all the students bond together... you see nothing of it. You just spend time with your students, whom are perfectly safe on the route cause none of them will die....let's say, this doesn't make this moment as striking as Engage's chapter 2 cause in chapter 2 you don't just see, you PARTICIPATE at what is supposed to be Lumera and Alear's first and last moment as family. So which balancing between dark and light is stronger ?

3H's deep aesthetic will lead people to not question some of the game's event to judge it as what it is and that's why most people are more forgivng of it's flaws such as style over substance, something that seems deep turning out to be rather shallow etc.

Engage doesn't have this aesthetic so it leads people to not try to look past its simple, to insist on it flaws and exagerate them and to not try to understand the depth hidden behing small things.

To put it simple people think 3H is deeper because it does big and Engage is bare bones cause it has the look of it bcause it does smaller.

And this mindest is actually misguided cause it's not quantity that matters but quality. The talent of a good writers isn't in "I am gonna make a lot of big things to make it seems deep and complex" it's being able to put a lot of subltely and nuancing in very small things or even obvious one just for you to realize the deeper meaning of it.

Take Sombron's name for example. People mock it as being generic cause it's dark in French. But how many of them will look into the actual etymology of Sombre ? How many will find out that its' based on a verb in old french which means to enshade and reflect his role as being the one who corrupts everything and plunged the world into darnkness ? How many will realize that his weapon, Obscurité is deepening this concept as it is supposed to show that the darkness he cast are deadly ? How many will look at his design to reason "ah yes, he looks like that cause he is meant to reprsent Alear's trauma" ?

This is the same mindset as people who won't look at Grima past evil dragon when he is the refletion of Robin's despair and fear.

This isn't just Engage. All the game that are considered "bad" by the fandom cause simple don't try to look anydeeper then this, but when it has the look of something dark, greedy, and complex it checks the box of the "aesthetic of deep" and therefore people will consider it to be deep, doesn' matter if in reality it isn't

Likewise if a media doesn't check the boxes, they will look at it as simply what it appears and not search any deeper

That's ultimately the reason why people were disappointed by Engage after 3H : it refused to embrace the same "aesthetic" as 3H. So it doesn't matter that the story is actually deeper then it is, they won't believe it because the aesthetic doesn't appeal to them.

#fire emblem #fe engage #fire emblem engage

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subsystems · 2 years

Text

8/31/22

This is about my experience with fusion and integration. I also use parts language. If that bothers you, don't read or follow.

Some of you guys requested that I talk about my journey with fusion. I'll share a little bit about that now, although I might have more to say later.

Ultimately, I want everyone to keep in mind that fusion doesn't just happen for no reason. For me, this has been the culmination of years and years of therapy, trauma processing, escaping abuse, and lots of parts work.

My system didn't really start working as a system until a couple years ago. I had to completely change everything about how I was treating myself and my parts. We worked so hard on trying to understand each other, empathize, and bridge the dissociative barriers. Understanding that we were all connected, no matter how different or distant we felt, was what built the foundation for us to understand each other as both a whole and the parts of that whole.

We had a handful of "spontaneous fusions" throughout our therapy, but looking back on these I realize they only seemed spontaneous. I wasn't in touch with all parts of myself yet, so I wasn't aware of how much progress each part had made or how integrated they had become.

After finding more stability in our life and lots of parts work, the majority of the system was able to be more or less co-conscious with each other. We could control switching, communication was very easy, we were cooperative on all decisions, and there was hardly any amnesia. Honestly, this was mind-blowing because when I was first diagnosed, I had hardly any system communication and SO many blackouts. I had no control over my life, let alone any memory of it.

The system as a whole also had to learn how to stop relying on dissociation. Dissociation was my go-to coping mechanism for any difficult situation. I had to learn how to handle these situations without switching or forgetting or detaching or splitting apart. Like with everything else, this A LOT of practice and therapy. Eventually, I started noticing that I was able to be in situations that were normally stressful for me without becoming dissociative. It still happened on occasion but it took a lot more to make me dissociate, and my dissociation was much more mild. I had become so resilient. And I stopped splitting new parts.

Eventually, the lines between the parts began to disappear. It was like being blurry but...good? There was some confusion but not in a dissociative way, more in a new experience way. Not sure how else to explain this. Some people call it blending.

The majority of my system gradually fused over the course of a few months. A lot of things happened during those months. It's very personal so I'm not going to elaborate, but it was also probably some of the best few months of my life. I was so much safer and happier and healthier.

During all of that, I realized that the parts weren't really parts anymore, but a clump of parts. And I was both a part inside that clump, the other parts inside that clump, and the whole clump. All at the same time. It was confusing but also just nice. I could feel everything from all perspectives.

Over the course of healing and just living my life, the clump still stayed. Sometimes it'd get weaker and some parts would fall out due to stress. But eventually we'd all go back to being coalesced together. The clump would get stronger and more solid. It'd feel more right, and make more sense. It'd feel more whole.

My memories all slotted together into this flowing timeline. And (besides some trauma memories) they weren't surrounded by this sense of "that's not me." I could remember them and I could accept them. A foreign sensation, but once I had it, I never ever wanted to let go.

It took so long to convince myself that I, as an existence, made sense. And I KNEW that I made sense. But finally, fucking finally, I felt it.

I understood myself.

There's something about that. Going your whole life, not understanding yourself. Not understanding your parts. Not understanding your life or your past or your present. But when I got in the metaphorical alter clump, I UNDERSTOOD.

All of the parts are still here, of course. Just not as alters. And even if they fall out of the clump, they don't quite feel the same as how we used to feel as alters if that makes sense. We're over here just lovin' the clump life.

I don't expect my experience with fusion to be universal, but hopefully hearing about it will help those who are interested in this recovery path.

- Sunflower

#sunflower posts #actuallydid #actuallydissociative #actuallytraumagenic #actuallyintegrated #actuallypolyfragmented #dissociative identity disorder #DID recovery #fusion #final fusion #integration

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rhan-hastur · 10 months

Text

Hi! @velvetcloak asked me to do some kind of lineart tutorial/step-by-step, I'm by no means an expert so don't hesitate to ask if you need some things clarified! Always glad to help.

I use three different methods that are pretty much trial and error, depending on what works best for the artwork but I'll do my best to explain with screenshots - these were taken on photoshop, I draw with procreate, but I'm guessing the layer modes are similar on other softwares. (Also mine are set in french, sorry in advance for the confusion.)

If you're already familiar with digital lineart and softwares, this probably won't be of much use, it's very basic stuff.

Otherwise, more below the cut! (It got a bit long.)

I. Solid black lineart, with this illustration used as reference.

I used the basic gesinski ink brush in procreate, 100% opacity in normal mode to get pure black. Very basic, it's set on top of the colour layers, everything above that is just additional effects and filters + textures. Note that I always draw separate elements on different layers and fuse them later, it's easier to deal with details this way. The isolated layer looks like this (I changed the colour of a disappearing hair lock, more on this later):

And the colours without it, like this (my style relies heavily on lineart, lol):

Both:

Good! It's a bit harsh though, I like to add a second layer to soften things up, set in 45% opacity multiply mode right under that. I duplicate the main lineart, and add a gaussian blur to the copied layer (between 3 and 5px, values vary from one artwork to another, same with the layer modes.)

Not done yet! I use the blured lineart as a colour filter by locking it to pixels only and filling it with the tone I want. In this case, red. Isolated layer:

And the end result:

The second method, I tend to use more on sketches and loose drawings to get a better blend of lineart and colours:

II. Semi-transparent lineart, with one of these sketches.

Basic 6B brush in procreate (my fav), quite thin here but you can get great results with a larger brush. It's not really obvious looking at this scale, so here's a comparison between a black solid lineart (1 layer, normal 100% - the scars are on a separate layer because of the colour, otherwise it's the same setting) and a semi-transparent one (2 layers), especially visible in lighter areas, note how the second one lets hues show through. I find this to look a bit less stiff.

Now for the method! Since this relies on the layers underneath, you want your colours to a bit more precise than the previous example. Without lineart:

TBH it's also a two layers solution, super easy. Once you're statisfied with your basic lineart, set the layer to overlay 100%. You'll get something like this:

Then duplicate this layer, put the copied layer above the overlay one and set it to normal 70% (or whatever looks best, this is 67%) and you'll get the final result as previously shown! In this particuliar case, I erased the black circle around the iris in the normal mode layer to keep the blue of the overlay one. You could also skip step two depending on the desired rendering.

The third method is a blend of the other two result-wise:

III. Coloured lineart, with this illustration. (tw: a bit of gore and blood in the full artwork, I'll crop it out of the screenshots. Poor guy can't get a break. It's the only file in this style with a semblant of organization, don't be like me, rename your layers and use folders.)

Fountain pen toothy brush, from the MaxPack watercolor set. It has a bit of a texture to it, and isn't entirely opaque so it blends nicely with the layers below. The lineart is set to normal 100%, for this method it's preferable to have separate layers for each elements, since you'll be recolouring them individually. Here, the hands, skull and additional details are all on individual layers.

Just like the blurred layer in the first method, you need to lock your pixels (the little grid to the left on photoshop):

And either fill you layer with colour, or paint on it with an opaque round brush/a soft one depending on the desired outcome. (Some zones might need a gradient, or various colours.) You can also use another normal layer on top of a black lineart and set it as a clipping mask, same result, different method. But I prefer to keep the layers count to a minimum when possible. With the layers below, it will look like this:

You can notice a bit of lineart transparency over the skull colour layer, cool stuff. (The shading of the skin is set on top for some reason, I don't remember why but surely there was a reason.) However! In this illustration, I need a yellow glow for the fire so let's create yet another layer, shall we? This affects the whole rendering. I painted a diffuse light source using a soft gradient brush, and set the layer to hard light. Isolated layer:

End result:

All done!

Now go create!

#hope this was at least a bit helpful :')#digital line art

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luminous-letters · 2 years

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So basically, I've been rewatching SU clips, and I always wondered what it would be like with a half human, half gem-S/O, fusing with floyd?

Note: I can't tell if you're requesting for headcanons or a oneshot, I'm sorry 😭 so I'll just answer it as much as I can 😭

Oohh I haven't heard from SU for a while.

I believe that the outcome of the fusion would rely heavily on the S/O's physical as well as their personality.

Maybe we'd get a fusion that can live in both land and sea without the help of potions?

For their shared weapon, some claws perhaps? Like, webbed hands (just like Floyd's eel form) with sharp magical claws.

Or, if you want to go all out, think of the fusion's body being liquid-y? (referencing Floyd's mood swings as something that constantly changes)

The fusion can manipulate the shape of their body parts, first turning into liquid before materializing as something they will it to be. Think of, Eliza from Skullgirls:

And to being able to move the cells in your body at will can incorporate Floyd's 'Bind the Heart', which means more evasive qualities for the fusion.

To summarize, Floyd and a half-gem S/O would make a fusion that's a lot like Eliza from Skullgirls.

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #gn!mc #floyd leech #twst au #twst headcanons #answered ask #references to steven universe #references to eliza from skullgirls

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iloveanimalsmorethanhumans · 7 months

Text

Modern day Monsters: V

The man sat quietly, perfectly still, waiting. The old wooden bench was rough under his bare legs. It was solid, and good.

His feet bare on dirty stone tile, cold and unyielding. He looked around the old bus station, using only his eyes, daring not move his head.

He knew they were near, hunting.

He heard the whisper of fabric nearby, barely an echo brought back to his straining ears. He held his breath. It was cold in the old bus station. His skin was cool, but not cool enough. He knew that. He had chosen his position carefully, relying on the electricity in the old fuses nearby and heat from floor vents to help his camouflage.

"Psst....I know you're there" a voice whispered, somewhere behind him. Dammit he couldn't see, but the statement itself told him the speaker hoped for movement.

He heard a sound above him. A slight rustle and scrape.

Someone was clever. Likely he was soon to be found by that one. He hadn't considered that approach.

He remained still, the little breath trapped in his lungs beginning to flutter nervously. "Steady" he thought, plenty of air left in these veins. He felt something hit his bare scalp, just a tickle, followed by slightly larger fragments.

Dust, rust and old paint. He was found. He knew it. He expected a triumphant whoop but there was nothing. Maybe?

"Hmph" a satisfied sound from above.

Then a quiet voice into a mic. "Got him. Third bench from the East wall."

The lights came up around him and he slowly exhaled, standing gracefully and brushing the top of his head with elegant fingers.

"Well done" he said quietly, looking up to see black boots dangling above his head. The soldier attached to them dropped down beside him, a few feet away.

"You're a clever bastard" the soldier said, brushing dust and old paint off his hands.

"Not clever enough" he said mildly.

Soldiers began standing from various places around the old building.

One walked in from a distant doorway and a voice called out across the expansive space "a bit left of center there Erichson." The soldier put his head down, a nervous hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Y'Sir" he mumbled.

The speaker approached rapidly.

"Damn fine job, soldier. 28 minutes on the nose. Quickest yet"

The soldier who had found him snapped a quick salute. "Sir" he stated quietly. A man of few words.

Jack liked him. He didn't like many people. Especially on first meeting.

"Where are you standing, Dr. Griffin? I'd like to shake your hand, not grab your dick!"

One of the soldiers barked a surprised laugh, several others smirked, the one who had found him, Ringer, his name patch read, remained impassive.

Jack put a hand out quickly, fingers jabbing the approaching man sharply in the ribs. "Right here." He said coolly. The old colonel jumped slightly.

Ringer's lips twitched at the corner., almost imperceptibly.

Jack decided he liked him very much, indeed.

Colonel Kemp grabbed the hand poking his ribs in a rough handshake.

"Thanks, again, Griffin for your help and participation." He said gruffly, his handshake applying more pressure than necessary. His dislike, obvious.

Griffin returned the pressure and leaned close. Whispering "I know you'd rather grab my dick. Sir." The last word an angry hiss. He released the man's hand as Kemp's jaw clenched and his neck reddened. No one heard the Dr but Ringer, and Kemp dared not respond for fear of having to explain what was said. He was furious. Dr Griffin turned. "I'll be going." He said briskly. "Need to get dressed. Fine work, Soldiers! Until next time"

And he snapped a salute none of them could see. He walked away slowly and purposefully so they could hear his feet on the tile.

He reached a small pile of clothes in the corridor Erichson had come in from. It wasn't a bad idea. Griffin thought, to look near where his clothes were left. He had done that once. Stood quietly against a wall of heated tile not far from his clothes in a gentlemen's club bathroom. Early on in the experiments with the special infrared technology the government was beginning to utilize and develop more.

The technology had come further since then. Thanks to his help.

Dr. Griffin was all for furthering technology, after all science was his life.

He despised the people in charge of it, and he and Kemp had been at odds since the beginning. The man talked too much.

He stepped back out into the bus station, dressed and visible again. His eyes found Ringer, who was already looking at him. He nodded, tipping his hat with a gloved hand. One of the soldiers nearby shifted nervously. Funny how they feared him more, clothed. It was disconcerting seeing the shell of clothing on what they knew to be an invisible frame.

He strolled towards the exit, Kemp's voice trailing him

"What could you see, Ringer?"

Erichson was standing on the outer fringes still, staring intently at the infrared glasses in his hand. They looked like regular glasses. Clear lenses in black frames. Worn in the dark though, and they'd show heat a heat signature on the lenses.

Jack put a hand on the young man's shoulder.

"It was a good thought, soldier" he said quietly.

The young man flinched, jolted from thought.

He nodded, crimping his lips at the corners in an awkward smile.

Jack stepped into the cool night air, filling his lungs in a deep sigh.

He'd go home, make his report, and think about Ringer. Clever, clever Ringer. He'd like to work with him a little more closely.

Whistling, he put his gloved hands in his pockets and began the long walk home.

-ADL

#universal monsters #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing prompts #short story #prompt #invisible man

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queenharumiura · 10 months

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✵ + goku & emi

Taken from meme: [x] ||Accepting||

For Gokudera

Your first impression of Gokudera: "My first impression..." Haru thinks back on it. The first time she met him was around the time that she'd first met Tsuna and she had gotten mad at him for corrupting a young and innocent child and she'd gone on to challenge him. "My first impression was that he's kind of rude and a bit of a punk?"

Current impression: "He's still a punk." That doesn't mean it's a bad thing, though. You can just tell by the way she says it affectionately, "He's my punk." Cue a small giggle. "He says things like how he's still not good enough and that he still has room to improve, but I think he's been doing great for himself." She doesn't deny the fact that it's good to strive for self-improvement as there was always room to improve. "I've been coming to rely on him quite a bit recently-- goes to show how comfortable I am around him. He's as stubborn as I am, so once he notices i'm feeling off, he won't let me go." She laughs. "Sometimes, that's the fun part."

Are you attracted to Gokudera?: "Sure would be awkward if the answer to this was 'no', considering that we're dating."

Something you find frightening about Gokudera: "It's not really something about him that I find frightening, but of his position?" As the righthand of Tsuna, Gokudera had a big target on his back, as well as the other guardians. It was scary to think of what could possibly go wrong when they went on missions. On one hand, there is less anxiety and worry if you don't know what's going on like Nana-san, but true to the academic soul in her, she'd rather know. There was nothing worse than being left in the dark and believing in something that was hopeless. "It's frightening to think that one day, I may wake up and learn that he's gone..." His temper? Pff! "Teleprompter-san, you're funny. Do you think i'd have been butting heads with him over the years if his temper scared me? I know he wouldn't willingly hurt an ally, so he's not scary at all." Now some of the Varia-- that's a different story. She can believe that they might actually do something if you cross them.

Something you find adorable about Gokudera: "Oh! You know what's cute about him? You wouldn't know it if you saw him walking around normally, but I think he's a bit of a shy boy?" He freezes quite often when Haru teases him, and it's kind of cute. It's endearing to see him just freeze as if he's in the process of a factory reset. Psst "I'll admit, sometimes I tease him because I find his reactions cute." It'll be a sad day once he stops.

Would you sacrifice yourself for Gokudera?: "Haru was willing to fall from a bridge if it meant Tsuna-san and Lambo-chan would survive. Did you think my answer would change for my boyfriend?" Stupid. "Well, something tells me that he wouldn't let me." He'd also maybe get mad if he were around to hear her say yes. "Sorry, you did say he wouldn't see this interview, right?" What do you mean you reserve your right to remain silent????

Would you go on a date with Gokudera? platonic/romantic: "Hm? What's with the second part?" Haru tilted her head. Was it asking if she'd go on a platonic date or a romantic date with Gokudera? "Mmnn... so if a platonic date is one without romantic feelings, I'd have a problem with that-- since we're together. That alone should suffice for an answer.

One word you would use to describe Gokudera: "Just one word? That's a lot of pressure." Haru thinks about it. There was a lot to Gokudera, so it was kinda rude to task her with summing him up with just one word. He was very devoted to the Vongola. Had a bit of a short-fuse at times. Sometimes, he was a bit slow to certain things. Very loyal, and definitely smart. Stubborn (like she's one to talk), and very hard-working. "Let's go with... admirable."

Would you slap Gokudera if you could?: "Are you asking if I could, would I? Or are you asking me could I even do so?" She waits for the teleprompter to think about it before it reads [both]. "If Haru wanted to slap him, she's sure that she could. I've a swift hand, you know?" She moves her hand, demonstrating the movement. "I wouldn't want to slap him, though. I don't think there is a reason to slap him." There were only a few reasons why Haru would slap someone and Gokudera wasn't one to commit any of those acts. He was as loyal as they come and despite his rough demeanor he wasn't that bad with kids. Never anything slapping-worthy.

Would you hug/kiss Gokudera?: "Of course! I do try to not do so very publicly, so as to not embarrass him or anything." Really, it was more of a, 'it's probably not wise to put your relationships on full display in the mafia-world' kinda thing. It does become a bit of a liability.

- -- -

For Emi

Your first impression of Emi: "Ah... I think it was when Ayane first introduced her to us?" She had brought a friend over and Haru happened to be there to meet the new face. "She wasn't the most talkative from my recollection. Something about her reminded me of Hayato and Hibari. Something about her demeanor, I guess?"

Current impression: "I can say that she's very like Hibari in many ways, so I wasn't wrong to pick up on that in her demeanor." Haru nods her head sagely, quite proud of herself. "She does-- have a bit of-- mn... how to put it... tension between her and Ame? It can make things a bit awkward at times, but I don't think it's wrong. She's expressing herself and that's fine." Let the young kids express themselves and learn about themselves in the process! Haru was a big advocate of learning through trial and error. "She's a good kid. A bit troubled, it seems, but... I knew another kid who had some troubling behavior and look at him now. He turned out to be a great righthand. "She'll be fine, she has a great friend in Sayuri-chan, and a good mentor." She has an auntie too, if she ever needs Haru for anything.

Are you attracted to Emi?: Haru stares dubiously at the teleprompter. "I'm taken, thank you for asking." Note to self to look into who is asking the questions to have a strong word with them afterwards

Something you find frightening about Emi?: "I do hope that she can find an outlet that can help her destress and organize her emotions. Find a support network that helps her before she explodes and does something she'll regret." It would be such a shame if in a fit of rage she inadvertently does something that can't be repaired. "I fear that she'll feel so isolated and alone that she'll withdraw herself and turn her back against everyone." Though, perhaps that's more worry than fear? Close enough.

Something you find adorable about Emi: "Even if she's not the most talkative nor the most easiest to get to open up, she does try. She's very considerate, you know?" Emi is a good kid who would offer to help a struggling Auntie Haru. It's also cute when she hides her tiny smiles, whenever they happen. She won't say that aloud, though.

Would you sacrifice themselves Emi?: "I'd sacrifice myself for anyone in the Vongola, but especially the kids." It was the duty of the older generation to protect and pave the way for the younger generation. If it came down to it, she'd sacrifice herself for Emi. "Though, I feel like that would be unnecessary. Emi is plenty capable and if she were ever in such dire straights, i'm sure Hibari had something planned as backup."

Would you go on a date with Emi? platonic/romantic: Again, she reminds herself again to find who created these questions so she can have a TALK with them afterwards. What kinds of questions are you asking in relation to young kids? "The better question would be if Emi-chan was open to going on a platonic date with her Auntie Haru."

One word you would use to describe Emi: "The first thing that comes to mind is resilient." Judging by the way she used to lash out more often, it felt as though she'd been through a lot. Still, she was trying to better herself, and she was under the tutelage of the Hibari Kyouya. That's resilience in itself for sure.

Would you slap Emi if you could?: "No, of course not."

Would you hug/kiss Emi?: "Well... if she would allow me... sure." Haru would always want to respect Emi's space and her wishes. If she didn't want any hugs, then she wouldn't get any. (Haru will give them in spirit, though) As for kisses, Haru was a fan of giving kisses on the cheeks or on the forehead, but again-- only if Emi was okay with it.

#Xcedia #Meme answered #Answered ask #Thanks for the ask!#Haru speaks #((Muse; Gokudera))#((Muse; Emi))#((Timed it it took me 1 hr to complete this kekekek. I had fun with it!))#((I tried to fix the spacing between the bullets to make it less-- boxy but tumblr won't let me???))

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