#and I’m also an attention seeker | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr.com rank in the US is 25.

#and I’m also an attention seeker

bigolgay · 4 months

Text

Guys I had an embarrassment.

I am naked on my upper body. Like tiddies out for the world to see. My curtains were wide open. I look up and out the window. Catch eyes with the man working on the farm behind my house. But it doesn’t end there. I avert my eyes slightly and spot a light on in the house diagonal to my window. Look closer. Another man looking at me.

It only lasted like 3 seconds but I have never closed my curtains so fast in all my life. I genuinely think I may have broken the curtain rail a little bit.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a little bit of an exhibitionist. I like being watched and looked at. But… I don’t like being watched and looked at when I don’t know I’m being watched and looked at. The whole point of it for me is to “preform” for them. CANT DO THAT IF I DONT KNOW IM BEING LOOKED AT NOW CAN I?

So basically… I really need to remember to close my curtains.

#lesson sort of learned #I’m usually quite good at remembering #but I wanted to look at the stars last night so I left them open #and forgot to close them again…#who threw the tennis ball!?!🎾#is this nsfw?#I’ll tag it as such anyway ig #nsft #hehe lol oops #this might get deleted #don’t kink shame me pls☹️#I’m just a silly little guy #and I’m also an attention seeker #so #yeah #bye ig

4 notes · View notes

wlweewoo · 1 year

Text

And if I said Buck only ends up dating people he meets on calls because he feels like his job/helping people is the only thing that gives him any worth

#I also posted this on Twitter but I’m an attention seeker so 💋#911onfox #911 s6 #911 #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #buddie #buck x eddie #sort of

60 notes · View notes

literaila · 3 months

Note

hi, i want to start writing stories, and i admire your work, and i have a few questions if you don't mind, have you always been good at writing, do you write something everyday and how did you feel confident enough to start posting your work?

have i always been good at writing? no. absolutely not. i have always written things (evidence: the 1k novel i wrote in third grade about a dolphin adopted by a lobster which lacked quotation marks) if that’s what you’re asking.

writing, like all things, only truly improves with practice (and reading, absorbing information is no joke). sometimes i read things i wrote in the last year and have to sit and question myself for a good hour on exactly what i was thinking. my first work on tumblr was god awful, but i can admire it from afar because it got me where i am.

i personally think i lack the natural affinity for writing because i struggled in school and couldn’t really read until i was 10, but you’ll find your niche and it’ll work out.

do i write something everyday? ummm unfortunately no. i certainly think about writing every day, but typically i write 2-3 times a week during a good writing period. though! i wish i was disciplined enough to write something everyday because if would probably make writing a lot easier and less strenuous for me

(take that with a grain of salt though because i have a terrible attention span and can’t sit still for periods longer than 10 minutes. recently i’ve been writing when we’re slow at work, if that means anything to you)

how did i feel confident enough to start posting my work? simply put, i didn’t. i still don’t most days. writing is an entirely debilitating experience in my opinion and it sucks! i hate it! it makes me feel like walking on a thousand legos!

but if you’re feeling nervous about posting something, i encourage you to just do it. don’t worry about what others will think. when i posted my first story (on here, don’t ask about the eras before) i didn’t really like it, but my readers did. and that made it worth it to keep posting more. if you’ve got an idea that you’re passionate about, go for it! no one’s going to write it like you will.

honestly, i try not to take my writing too seriously (and i do a terrible job, obviously) because it’s supposed to be an escape from all of the terrible things about the world. so i’ll keep pretending it is an escape (wink wink). so, write whatever story you want, and post it on every platform across the earth. someone, like me, will love it.

#wow i’m awful #sorry but i have so many thoughts on so many things (and am terribly long winded)#but i loooooooove thinking about all of my terrible little stories #every time i post something i’m like ‘okay so choose a new career path’#and then i don’t #:)#also i work solely for validation from others (i’m an attention seeker) so i have to post my writing or i will never ever finish anything #or i have to work out of spite #whichever comes first #when i’m working on something and no one likes it i give up! which is a bad way to live and you shouldn’t do that #actually don’t take any of my advice #i just realized i don’t know what i’m doing

2 notes · View notes

aconstantstateofbladerunner · 7 months

Text

Fanfic Thieves on Youtube

A collection of youtube channels have been uploading preexisting fanfictions in videos with little to no credit to the original authors. These are not podfics, these channels copy-paste the fics into text-to-speech readers then upload the unaltered audio over static or unrelated backgrounds, either art that is also stolen or mobile game footage. In addition to not naming the authors, they alter the title to make it that much harder for readers to recognize or find the original uploads. Some go so far as to pretend they themselves are creating the fics in question. Many claim that their stealing actually helps give fics "exposure" despite the intentional steps they take to conceal the origins of the fics they profit off of. However, this practice has lead many authors to discontinue fics after the frustration of having their hard work stolen. Many of these channels claim they will remove videos upon request, but will either argue with the author in order to keep it up, or simply unlist the video for a time until they think the author isn't paying attention anymore. And their solution to receiving strikes against their channels in the past has been to further obfuscate the origins of their content instead of even considering asking first.

”I got caught stealing, so instead of not stealing anymore, I’m doubling down on stealing even more so it’s harder for people to find out and prove I’m stealing. Stealing doesn't count if the specific person I stole from didn't call me out. I am the real victim.”

That, plus the incessant tag scumming in all the videos (spamming unrelated tags in order to appear in more search results) proves to me that these are lazy attention seekers who don't want to put in creative effort when they could just leech off of the passion of others.

In order to report them, go to their channel's "About" page and click the flag icon. Said icon might be behind the three dots in the top bar on mobile. Go to "Report User" at the bottom and tick the "spam and scams" button. This will allow you to list multiple videos as offenders instead of reporting them individually. Youtube's policy states that video spam constitutes:

Massively uploading content that you scraped from other creators.

Auto-generated content that computers post without regard for quality or viewer experience.

If you recognize one of your fics among the stolen, say so in the additional comments box, and perhaps call out the channel directly in the video's comments. If you recognize someone else's fic, please let the original author know so they can report the channel as well. Many have been confronted for stealing previously and refuse to admit wrongdoing.

Most of what I've found has been My Hero Academia fics since that's my fandom and those are the ones I can recognize as stolen, but there are many other channels that steal from other fandoms, so I invite anyone and everyone to reblog this with their own findings.

The reality is that this extremely low-effort content and new youtube channels are both very easy to make, so most likely they'll start new channels once the ones on this list are run through. But hopefully, if we all work together and keep whacking these moles, perhaps we can instill that same defeatism they caused so many creators who didn't deserve it, and eventually they'll give up.

My sincerest thanks to everyone who helped bring additional channels to my attention. A special thanks to ao3 user InArduisFidelis who brought the initial attention to the issue, and @owlf45 whose work was stolen.

Links under the cut.

YurikoFanfics - Not only stole content, but acted in comments as though they were the one writing these stories.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@YurikoFanfics

What-IF-Anime - Has the exact same "disclaimer" about not being the original author as the one above. Either they're the same person or the thieves are stealing from each other.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@What-IF-Anime

quirkywhatif7 - Either an alt of the above, or all these people are talking to one another because this one made a community post identical to a comment the one above made in response to being called out (the above screenshots).

https://www.youtube.com/@quirkywhatif7/about

DekuFanfic - It's the same fucking guy again.

https://www.youtube.com/@DekuFanfic/about

InfiniteParadoxfanfics - Nothing notable, same deal as the others.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@InfiniteParadoxfanfics/about

WhatIfAnimeChannel - Admits in their community posts that other people write the fics they post but still doesn't give credit. Migrated to a new channel after issues with youtube, likely being flagged previously.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@WhatIfAnimeChannel/about

WhatIfAnimeAll - Alt of above.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@WhatIfAnimeAll

FWNWorld - Makes sure to tell you that the videogame footage is theirs, but can't bother to credit anyone else.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@FWNWorld/about

WTFW - Claims to have "[A] team of talented writers, voice actors, and artists work together to create immersive fan fiction stories that are sure to captivate your imagination." Just the same test-to-speech stolen content over videogames. So straight up lying claiming that everything is theirs (and that anything they make is quality).

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@WTFW

MHA2.0Fanfics - Lots of crossover theft.

https://www.youtube.com/@MHA2.0Fanfics/about

Collerwhatiif - Pretty sure this one is the same guy as the previous 2, also has one for another fandom.

https://www.youtube.com/@Collerwhatiif/about

https://www.youtube.com/@GoJoFanfiction/videos

ko_sensei - Another that claims to have a "team" that makes the stories they steal: " passionate about creating compelling and engaging fanfiction that explores the various "what ifs" in the anime universe."

https://www.youtube.com/@ko_sensei/about

FantasticWhatIf - Multifandom stealing, uses the exact same bs disclaimer as many others.

https://www.youtube.com/@FantasticWhatIf/about

LettuceHeadFanfics - No credit, no acknowledgement of anything. Next one is an alt.

https://www.youtube.com/@LettuceHeadFanfics/about

brocollifanfics - Alt of above, once again admits to stealing with a declaration of "☆If you want to takedown any videos. You can mail us or leave a comment below the video☆"

https://www.youtube.com/@brocollifanfics/about

whatifofficial786 - Focuses on MHA/Naruto crossovers. Identical format.

https://www.youtube.com/@whatifofficial786/about

NotWhatIf - I've lost track of who's an alt of who but yet another identical format, descriptions, and bullshit claims of "enhancing the viewer experience" by putting a robot voice over bootleg fortnite footage.

https://www.youtube.com/@NotWhatIf/about

weebxds - Same again.

https://www.youtube.com/@weebxds/about

ItachiFanfics - Naruto channel, we can at least confirm that this one is run by a human given the rare different descriptions and a real voice at the beginning of videos before the robot comes back.

https://www.youtube.com/@ItachiFanfics/about

WhatIfDN - As if mockingly, a bunch of videos have a "credit" section in their descriptions that is of course blank.

https://www.youtube.com/@WhatIfDN/about

SpiceandBooks and spiceandfiction - Apparently Youtube itself has started picking up on the bullshit, because this multifandom channel is being dinged as ai spam so they started a new one.

https://www.youtube.com/@SpiceandBooks/about

https://www.youtube.com/@spiceandfiction/about

theoriginalastra - Doesn't even bother with disclaimers, the following are multiple alts/potential alts for different fandoms.

https://www.youtube.com/@theoriginalastra/about

SillySenpai12 - Highschool DXD alt.

https://www.youtube.com/@SillySenpai12/about

RosieRealms - Naruto alt.

https://www.youtube.com/@RosieRealms/about

DekuWhatIfs - Potentially another astra alt but not sure, doesn't matter because all these channels do the same thing anyway.

AnimeStark688 - No credits or disclaimers.

https://www.youtube.com/@AnimeStark688/about

Please take the time to report these channels, spread this post around, and reblog with any additional offending channels you find.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #naruto #highschool dxd #the debacle #mha #bnha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #naruto fanfiction

3K notes · View notes

sterredem · 29 days

Text

The eras tour

Charles leclerc x reader

[SMAU]

Face claim gracie abrams (again)

Summary going to Paris night 1 with Charles is a lot of fun, with a lot of surprises.

Word count -

Warning hate (just a few comments), spelling errors, not proofread

A/N saw a post saying someone should make this… so I did! I saw the tour on a crappie live stream so I know what was going on… I will also go to the tour!

It’s not the longest but also not the shortest. But I like it!

Also I had no motivation to make the things I am currently making so I decided to make a quick smau (that’s why it is only insta and no other apps)

Don’t forget to comment, repost and give feedback! It helps a lot!

Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 225.839 others

Yourusername me rn cause I NEED Taylor Swift tickets but ticketmaster is the worst😭 also creds to my bf for these pics, he is laughing at me while I am STRESSING @Charles_Leclerc

View all 1.836 comments

Charles_Leclerc I said that I’m sorry! I even helped you!

Yourusername YOU DIDNT DO ENOUGH!! I STILL HAVE NO TICKETS!😢

Charles_Leclerc I promise I will make it up to you

Lilymhe For which show are you trying? I have tickets for New Jersey and there is still a spare one!

Yourusername I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU! I tried Paris but I was last in the waiting list so there where no more tickets🙁 and sadly I can’t go to the US one’s liked by lilymhe

User1 you’re so real for crying I’ve the tickets. I did too

Yourusername THATS WHAT I SAID! BUT CHARLES JUST LAUGHED AT ME!

User1 you deserve the tickets babe liked by author

User2 Love the memes

User3 is that Leo?!?! Hes so cute!

Yourusername That is! He was my emotional support!

User4 ticketmaster is the villain fr! I was at the beginning and I could almost buy tickets but then u was kicker out!

Yourusername My villain origin story fr! And that’s the wort!

User5 love the hat

User6 you are still so pretty when you cry! How?!?!

Yourusername THANKS! IDK HOW I JUST HIDE MY SADNESS

User 6 HAHAHA REAL

User7 it really is hell! But I got tickets!

Yourusername Congratulations my love!

User8 charles laughing at you is so funny😂

User9 Ew you’re so cringe

User10 I love you

User11 not the pic creds and shade HAHAHA

User12 not her public account being her posting memes😂

User13 don’t understand why Charles is with you

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 392.728 others

Yourusername MY BF GOT ME ERAS TOUR TICKETS!!! I LOVE YOU CHARLIE! Eras tour Paris night 1 here I come!!

View all 3.738 comments

Charles_Leclerc Everything for you mon amour. Even if I need to spend hundreds of dollars for VIP tickets to the eras tour

Yourusername I am beginning to love you more and more

Lilymhe OMG I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

Yourusername I AM ALSO SO HAPPY!

User1 OMG AMAZING

User2 THE T-SHIRTS? IN LOVE! WHERE DIS YOU GET THEM?

Yourusername They are from the official merch drop from Taylor! I have been a mega fan from the beginning!

User3 OKAY CHARLES UPGRADED TO AN AMAZING BF

User4 even vip?!?! You are spoiled!

User5 I AM ALSO GOING TO PART NIGHT 1!

User6 Will you make friendship brackets? I am also going and want to trade some with you!

Yourusername I will! I would love to trade with y’all!

User7 SO EXITED FOR YOU!

User8 What did Charles say when you got it?

Yourusername he said ‘I have a surprise for you!’ And then he gave me a bag with the box! And then I started crying!

User9 you already have merch? How?!

Yourusername Lily went and got me the shirt!

Uset10 My favourite WAG going to a concert of my favourite artist? Amazing!

User11 with who are you going?

Yourusername Charles is going with me!

User12 so exited to see all the eras content!

User13 Such an attention seeker!

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 527.725 others

Yourusername Congrats on P4 my love! AND TTPD IS SO GOOD! A DOUBLE ALBUM WTF?!?! And here are some of my paddock fits😁 ALSO WHAT ABOUT THE TOUR?!

View all 4.728 comments

Charle_Leclerc Mon chéri… how sweet(?)

Yourusername It is! I am just so exited about Taylor!

Lilymhe YOURE SO RIGHT! I am so jealous that you get to see the first show after the new album!

Yourusername There are always live streams! And she will go to the US again!

User1 HAHAHAH

User2 so real

User3 I love that she can’t post without mentioning Taylor Swift or her Boyfriend! It shows dedication!

User4 Not the Alchemy😂

User5 you’re so pretty!

User6 the two sides? So funny!🤣

User7 I AM FREEKING OUT!

Yourusername SAME

User8 love the fits!

Yourusername Thanks!

User9 the TTPD aesthetic! Loving it!

User10 awwww Leo is so cute!

User11 Could you tell us where you get your clothes from? I love your style!

Yourusername Of course! My most recent posts have the links with them! (Reels from insta and TikTok)

User12 Thank you! You are amazing!

User13 I love how obsessed she is with TS!

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 628.283 others

Yourusername I had a lovely time at the eras tour! Thank you for the very kind people behind me that send me the pics of me and Charles! ALSO THE NEW SETLIST?!?! More pics coming soon!

View all 5.736 comments

Charles_Leclerc for the information; Y/n was crying… a lot

Yourusername YOU VANT BLAME ME! SHE CHANGED A LOT!

Lilymhe I AM SO JELOUS! Liked by author

User1 AHHH I AM SO GSBRNEBDU

User2 OMD THE COUPLE PICS?!?! SO CUTE!

User3 love the taytay pics!

User4 YOURE OUTFIT JS SO CUTE!

User5 Love the hat!

User6 MORE PICS?!

User7 THE NEW SETLIST IS SO COOL!

User8 I WAS THE ONE THAT TOOK THE PIC!

Yourusername THANK YOU SO MUCH!

User9 I tradet with her! She was so nice! And Charles study stood there looking a big lost!

User10 WHAT DID YOU GET?!

Yourusername A fan of Charlie gave me the gift!

User11 Se exited to go myself!

User12 you’re so cute!

User13 You’re not even pretty

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by Taylorswift and 1.737.837 others

Yourusername Everyone meet my new friend; Taylor Swift! It was absolutely lovely meeting you! And thank you for the invites😉

View all 172.638 comments

Taylorswift It really was amazing to meet you! I’m glad you enjoyed everything! Liked by author

Charles_Leclerc Finnaly I don’t have to keep this a secret anymore!

Yourusername yeah you’re not the best secret keeper

Charles_Leclerc EXUSE ME?!

Lilymhe WHAT? AND YIU DIDNT TELL ME?!

Yourusername IM SORRY I WANTED IT TO BE A SUPRISE!

User1 OMG SO HAPPPY FOR YOU

User2 THE MIST GORGOYS GIRLS TOGETHER!

User3 YOU MET HER?

User4 WHAT INVITES?!?!

Yourusername 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫

User5 THIS IS SO ICONIC!

User6 LILY AND CHARLES HAHAHHA

User7 So this are the other pics?!?!!!

User8 What happens in the 5th pic??

Yourusername I had a mental breakdown…

User9 not the y/n mansplaining to Taylor’s how max for it with Charles🤣🤣

User10 You are living the dream!

User11 THE NEW SETLIST AND MEETING TATLOR?!?! IM JELOUS!

User12 NEW TAYTAY CONTENT YAY!

User13 You don’t deserve it!

|———————————<3—————————————|

339 notes · View notes

acourtofswiftiesandshadowdaddies · 4 months

Text

AFTERGLOW PT 2

charlie bushnell x reader

warnings: fluff, smau

summary: pt 2 to afterglow

a/n pt 1 is here

liked by iamcharliebushnell, leahsavajefferies and others yn.ln tryna fight the dating allegations 🤺 view comments

ynloml guys she’s married to me ➔ yn.ln i thought u said u wanted to keep it quiet ➔ ynloml YN??? iamcharliebushnell where are my photo credits ➔ yn.ln photo creds for first pic to him 🙄 walkerscobell so dior js told me u have a picture of me that’s rlly bad ➔ walkerscobell don’t post it ➔ yn.ln don’t piss me off then

liked by walkerscobell, iamcharliebushnell and others yn.ln the last photo is cos u stole my oreos anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY WALKIE TALKIEEEE view comments

walkerscobell letting this slide cos u got me cool shoes user34 walker has the most goofiest pictures ever ➔ iamcharliebushnell can confirm ➔ yn.ln nuh uh aryan does ➔ aryansimhadri STOP 👏 BULLYING 👏 ME ➔ walkerscobell LMAOOOO hearts4yn oh to be a part of the pjo cast 😔 ➔ ynloml no cos i want them to be my besties too

CHARLIE BUSHNELL AND YN LN DATING? HERES ALL THE PROOF.

Charlie Bushnell was seen with back scratches in Dior Goodjohn’s vlog a day after YN posted that she had gotten her nails done.

Sources say they saw YN with a man who looks a lot like Charlie at the beach. The same day both and YN and Charlie soft launched their significant other at the beach.

YN had posted that she got new white ribbons on her TikTok just a week before this photo was supposedly taken and she also mentioned her newly bought books on her now deleted instagram story. Also in the aforementioned TikTok a voice called out YN’s name in the background. It was a manly voice which sounded a lot like Charlie’s.

READ MORE… comments

user09 leave them tf alone ➔ username they’re literally asking for it by being famous ➔ ynlove i don’t think two 19 year olds are asking for their ‘supposed’ relationship to be stalked username yn is such an attention seeker ➔ hearts4yn u say this as if she cares abt u ➔ username she doesn’t care abt u either ➔ hearts4yn no but at least i’m not hating on someone js cos they’re more successful than me.

liked by iamcharliebushnell, sabrinacarpenter and others yn.ln why’s he so fine 🙈 tagged: iamcharliebushnell comments are closed

liked by yn.ln, walkerscobell and others iamcharliebushnell she kinda… 🔥 tagged: yn.ln comments are closed

liked by leahsavajeffries, ryanreynolds and others yn.ln this is my thirteenth reason why ft inez view comments

ryanreynolds ur a bit too young to be watching that show ➔ yn.ln actually blake let me 🤓 👆 user34 UR CAT IS SO CUTEEE ➔ yn.ln FRR SHES SUCH A LIL CUTIE walkerscobell i wanna steal ur cat ➔ iamcharliebushnell don’t do that ➔ yn.ln real otherwise i will jump u aryansimhadri r u getting more cats? ➔ yn.ln maybe 🤭 user56 CANT BELIEVE YN AND CHARLIE ARE DATING ➔ hearts4yn THEYRE SO IT COUPLE

liked by dior.n.goodjohn, aryansimhadri and others yn.ln inez and betty love their lil sister augustine (auggie) view comments

aryansimhadri miss girl thought she could js sneak charlie in 🤨 ➔ yn.ln had to put my baby daddy in 😔 taylorswift THEYRE SO CUTE HONOURED TO HVE THEM NAMED AFTER MY CHARACTERS 🤭 ➔ yn.ln honoured to have them be raised by u iamcharliebushnell love being a girl dad ❤️ ➔ yn.ln love u being a girl dad hearts4yn what type of cats are they 🥺 ➔ yn.ln inez and betty are turkish angoras and auggie is a bombay cat 🫶🏻 ynloml taylor being the biggest fan of yn’s cats 😭 charlie&yn not yn and charlie pretending to be irl parents ➔ yn.ln wdym we literally have 3 daughters ➔ iamcharliebushnell fr ➔ charlie&yn YN AND CHARLIE HELLO??? ➔ user06 u literally won in life.

@editor : they’re literally every romantic couple ever coded comments:

whosyn omg u guys are so talented ➔ editor OMG YN HII username OMG YN COMMENTED U LITERALLY WON ➔ editor SHE LIKED TOO

@ mayorcoco : petition to be ur aphrodite representation after yn comments

whosyn YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO ASK BBG ➔ mayorcoco LUV UUUUU user58 yn commented and reposted 🤩!! ➔ mayorcoco we’re acc mutuals 😭 🙏 ➔ pjofangirl GIRLY U SO LUCKYY

liked by walkerscobell, leahsavajeffries and others yn.ln stole yn’s unlocked phone 😈 view comments

iamcharliebushnell WALKER WILLIAM SCOBELL GIVE IT BACK ➔ iamcharliebushnell this is yn btw ➔ yn.ln WHYD U REVEAL MY MIDDLE NAME ➔ iamcharliebushnell YOU DESERVE IT hearts4yn they’re so goofy 😭 ynloml this would be so confusing to read back on aryansimhadri i’d like to exclude myself from this narrative ➔ leahsavajeffries i plead innocent ➔ aryansimhadri i plead walker forced us to do this

liked by unavailable yn.ln why’s there so many shirtless charlie pics view comments

iamcharliebushnell WALKER ‼️ THIS POST IS NOW DELETED ‼️

liked by leahsavajeffries, dior.n.goodjohn and others iamcharliebushnell they both got their revenge (last pic is moments before yn pushed him down) view comments

yn.ln I DIDNT PUSH HIM ➔ walkerscobell yes u did ➔ leenascobell W yn ➔ dior.n.goodjohn real 🗣️ 🔥 💯 aryansimhadri did not expect walker forehead reveal ➔ walkerscobell didn’t expect for u to sing adele ➔ aryansimhadri STOP ➔ yn.ln drop the diss track 💯 leahsavajeffries i feel like we need context for 2nd pic ➔ iamcharliebushnell U WERE LITERALLY THERE ➔ iamcharliebushnell walker gave yn too much blue food colouring ➔ leahsavajeffries i gotta feed the ppl 😔 user34 stop i love this cast

a/n off topic but i love mayor coco on tt my favourite pjo fangirl frfr

439 notes · View notes

stylespresleyhearted · 3 months

Text

POV: YOU’RE DATING CALLUM TURNER

or the one where i pretend i am Callum’s girlfriend (and also tagging @precious-little-scoundrel on this bc I GOTTA)

liked by yourinstagram and 56204 others

tmznews Callum Turner spotted with a mystery girl! Is the new heartthrob off the market? Link in bio for everything TMZ has on his new gal.

view all comments

user23 the invasion of privacy … yikes

user12 What does it say about me if I read the article because tbh I’m curious

fan12 don’t do it, lets respect their privacy

callumupdates Don’t give TMZ any clicks. Look at the horrible quality of the photos, they obviously weren’t supposed to obtain these. Callum will share when he is ready.

yourfriendsig At least she’s pretty 😍

yourinstagram stopppp haha

liked by rafflaw, anthonyboyle, and others

yourinstagram soft launching my man bc he’s hot and i love him ❣️ (oh yeah and tmz exposed us)

view all comments

fan12 GIRL THIS IS A HARD LAUNCH NOTHING SOFT ABOUT IT!!!!

user41 crrrryingggg omg iconic

user23 lol attention seeker

yourfriendsig It took me three years to be IG official with you, why does he get special treatment 😒

yourusername take a guess 😉

keoghan92 @tmznews you suck

liked by fan12 and 63917 others

deuxmoi Spotted: Callum Turner and his girlfriend at a pub in downtown London. Looks like no more hiding for this couple. Sources tell me they’re in love and don’t care who knows it.

view all comments

fan12 wahhh they’re so cute

user23 i’m so jealous but i also ship it so hard

fan41 my friend saw them making out at a diner last week lmao she said they were eating each other not the food

liked by austinbutler and 36072 others

yourinstagram so proud and moved to tears ♥️ the entire cast and crew did a great job honoring these brave men

view all comments

fan12 we love a supportive gf

fan41 what a great picture fr

user23 I met y/n at the event tonight and she was the sweetest, most HILARIOUS person its easy to see why Callum is in love with her ❤️

liked by yourinstagram, rafflaw, and 78912 others

anthonyboyle One Direction

view all comments

user97 OMGGG they’re so hot wtf

yourinstagram more like Wrong Direction

keoghan92 you think you’re funny huh

yourinstagram Callum finds me funny 🥲

rafflaw he’s biased he’s in love with u

fan91 cryingg she’s a part of the mota fam 💍🥹

liked by keoghan92 and others

yourinstagram hi movie star ♥️ i love you - your biggest fan

view all comments

rafflaw 💍💍💍👀

yourfriendsig @rafflaw LMAO DONT START THE RUMORS

appletv Mr & Mrs Egan spin off?

keoghan92 sappy

yourinstagram @sabrinacarpenter

liked by yourinstagram and 639 others

yourfriendsig good times

view all comments

user91 … the hand on her ass … making out … CALLUM TURNER I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

yourinstagram why would you post this when you know im missing him 🥺

yourinstagram brb omw to ft him

fan23 i love the way y/n loves him she isn’t afraid to be a normal girlfriend

liked by anthonyboyle, keoghan92, austinbutler, and 941633 others

yourinstagram social media making fun of me for this but if he was your man you’d get it 😌 i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ♥️♥️

view all comments

fan12 if i didn’t see my bf for a week i’d react the same way people need to mind their business

yourinstagram it was only three days but yes your point still stands 😆

yourfriendsig y/n you’re an icon

fan92 i love them so fucking much pls adopt me

yourinstagram okay! ♥️

liked by austinbutler, rafflaw, and 76043 others

yourinstagram someone tell y/n not to leave her phone unlocked 🤣🤣🥳 - anthony & barry here!

edit: got my phone back. can’t bring myself to delete my boyfriend looks so cute. i guess barry and anthony look okay.

view all comments

fan23 LMAO PLS HOW DID THEY STEAL HER PHONE !!!😂😂CALLUM TAKE IT BACK!

yourinstagram he was supposed to hold it for me it didn’t fit in my clutch and he sided w the enemies 🥺

anthonyboyle New profile picture?

yourinstagram i’ll kill you

yourinstagram also i think it’s important for everyone to know @keoghan92 stuck his hand down my boyfriends pants pocket to get my phone

keoghan92 and i liked it

anthonyboyle 😂😂😂

—

The End

Ahhhhhh making this was so much fun!!! Y/N is a bit shameless in her adoration for her man but that’s the point!!! I’d be the same if he was mine (I mean look at Vanessa Kirby and Dua Lipa lmao)

Marina this is for us because this man deserves our love we’d make him so happy 🙌🏼

It was supposed to be silly and funny so don’t give me shit obviously celeb relationships would be a lot more private. And for bonus fun check this out ⬇️

#callum turner #callum turner fanfic #callum turner x reader #callum turner ig edit #made by me*#part 2 anyone??? i got more pics #mota fanfic #i purposelly included butt pics bc i love butts btw #and it would be for cal to grab onto

322 notes · View notes

bengiyo · 19 days

Text

Wandee Goodday: They're Letting Men 69 Now

The third episode of Wandee Goodday opens with the leads engaged in mutual fellatio (commonly known as a 69), and I wanted to comment on how well I liked it being used here. I asked yesterday how many other instances we had of the position in prior shows, and got confirmation from @respectthepetty and @pharawee and others that as best we can recall right now only Destiny Seeker has shown or implied the position before. Because we are hundreds of shows deep into BL at this point, I wanted to follow up on my post about Patts Wanting to Blow Saengtai and talk about this scene a bit.

One of the things I generally have to just ignore in BL is the alarming lack of lubricant usage in the genre even more than the lack of condom usage. BL boys must have self-lubricating organs with the way this genre behaves around it. It also doesn’t match the expected velocity of m/m physical intimacy that I’m used to in my own experience and the stories told by my homies. In fairness, in the couple dozen m/m romance novels I’ve read, I can only recall one 69 scene (shoutout to Ginn Hale for Lord of the White Hell, Book 1) In my experience, guys are way more likely to touch each other’s dicks before they kiss each other (something else Wandee Goodday is doing that I like).

What makes this scene standout to me is that we ended the previous episode with the guys establishing the rules of their relationship, and Wandee telling Yoryak he wanted him to pay more attention to his dick during sex. I really love coming back to them literally giving each other head, having a good time doing it, and teasing each other about it. It’s important to me that gay sex in shows about gay characters look like it’s fun for the characters and not just as a completion of a big romantic moment. It’s also very cool that this show continues to tease and show the various ways men can have a good time with each other without all the effort that goes into preparing for anal sex.

However, I will tease about the propriety rules and the usage of a blanket for modesty purposes. I completely accept this compromise for the safety of the actors and broadcast rules, but I know that I am not hotboxing myself when I’m trying to focus.

That’s all I wanted to say. I’d love for the folks who saw Destiny Seeker to chime in again about the work that show did on the presentation of m/m intimacy in BL in light of the Wandee Goodday scene. Guys should suck dick more often in BL as a sufficient enough act for spontaneous sex without implying that somehow raw, unlubricated anal works in a bathroom.

#Ben writes #wandee goodday #wandee goodday the series #bl meta #thai bl

220 notes · View notes

jamespotterismydaddy · 7 months

Text

Attention Seeker

Stepdad!daemon x reader

A/N: this can be read as a oneshot or as part of the daddys girl series. This was also slightly based off of a request here. Also I’m very proud of this so appreciate it🙏😭

TW: SMUT SMUT SMUT, somnophilia (in a way), innocence kink, stepcest, angst to fluff, body worship, daddy kink, light bondage

word count: 2,247 (this is the longest thing I’ve ever written which in slightly embarrassing)

HANDS (I’m going crazy)

You and Daemon are in a strange routine for a stepdaughter and stepfather, you piss him off, he fucks you, rinse and repeat. You don’t mind the routine, it’s almost the only way you can get his attention, but you take it a step further this time.

You don’t know if it’s cheating, per se, when you bring home a boy from school. Jake always seemed to have a thing for you and teenage boys are horny. You aren’t even sure if you care about the whole cheating thing (if that’s what it is). When you get into Daemon’s mansion, you take Jake by the hand and lead him to the kitchen. Daemon is sitting there when you arrive, a glass of crimson red wine in his hand. He eyes Jake emotionlessly, clearly curious about who he is but not curious enough to give you the satisfaction of asking.

“This is Jake.” You say anyhow as you grab a bag of chips from the pantry.

“A friend?” Your stepfather asks, not looking concerned in the slightest.

“Something like that.” You say with just enough suggestion in your voice. You want to make his skin crawl. Even if he’d never show it.

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Jake says playfully. The ‘sir’ clearly isn’t said with the utmost respect. Daemon doesn’t even give him a glance in response.

You roll your pretty, sweet eyes and pull Jake up the stairs to your bedroom. You make it so that Daemon can hear just what the two of you are getting up to. You want him to know you can get pleasure elsewhere. You want him to be livid. You want him to explode. When you walk Jake out and press a kiss to his cheek, it’s exactly what you expect, anger. But it’s not what you’re given.

“Have a busy night, little girl?” He asks, eying your messy hair. It doesn’t feel like he’s flirting though. It feels like he just sees you as a dumb child. You keep silent and when you can’t come up with a response, he speaks again. “Go to bed then. You look… tired.” You almost think he’s judging you; you know he’s judging you. Feeling frustrated, you go up to your room again just like he suggests.

You act up a numerous amount of times over the next week, trying desperately to get him to see you, acknowledge what you need from him. He never gives in or punishes you in any way. You feel desperate at this point. So, you try to work your way into tempting him once again.

You fill up the massive clawfoot tub in his bathroom with hot water and bubbles. You then tie your hair up loosely in a bun before stripping down and stepping in. The water calms you and the fact that you’re doing this in Daemon’s bathroom excites you.

It isn’t more than 10 minutes before he returns home. He doesn’t call out for you, just makes his way upstairs and into his bathroom. Your stepfather doesn’t notice you right away but as he is loosening his tie, he catches your gaze in the mirror. If he is surprised, he doesn’t show it.

“Having a nice soak, little one?” He asks and you’re just happy that he’s decided to speak to you.

“It would be better if you joined me, Daemon.” You say as sensually as you can manage.

“I’m alright.” He says and walks out.

You’re upset by the rejection and you get out of the bath, wrapping a towel around you so you can follow him. He begins to undress in his walk-in closet.

“Perhaps I can help you relax.” You say softly and drop to your knees in front of him.

Your towel falls in a heap around your hips as you use your hands to unbuckle his belt. He looks disinterested as you take his cock out from his trousers and he doesn’t even say a word as you take him in your mouth. You feel feverish as you suck him off, trying to pull a reaction out of him. He stays looking bored as you work his cock vigorously. When he grabs you by the back of your hair, you feel hopeful, thinking he is going to take control but he doesn’t. He yanks your head off him so roughly that you fall to your bum.

“Gods, it’s like you’re trying to suck the skin off my cock.” He rolls his eyes and zips his pants back up, deciding to just keep his work trousers on. He leaves you in the closet and walks downstairs. You follow him like a hopeless little puppy.

“Why don’t you want me anymore?” You ask angrily as he sits in his armchair with his book, his reading glasses just put on. He sighs.

“If you would like a quick fuck, baby, then go ask Jake.”

So he is upset about that. You think to yourself.

“So you’re threatened by a teenage boy?” You scoff at him.

“Don’t act so high and mighty when less than two minutes ago, you were on your knees and begging for my cock.” He says in that same unconcerned tone.

“I-I was hardly begging.” You protest weakly because you know how true his words are.

“Why would I want such a silly little slut anyhow? Who knows what you got fucking all those other boys. Tell me, did you let Jake hit it raw?” He says so cruelly that tears spring to your eyes. You rush out of the room and up the stairs.

“Fuck.” He murmurs, knowing he went too far.

He rubs his temples, hearing the quiet sobs coming from your bedroom. Your stepfather knows he should treat you more gently. He gives you a minute to yourself before walking up the stairs and knocking.

“What?” You ask abrasively as he walks in.

“I apologize for what I said. You’re no slut and you can fuck who you please.” His jaw clenches at the last sentence. He clearly doesn’t want you fucking other people.

“I don’t want to fuck anyone else and you ignore me so often. How would I even know if you like me?” You sniffle.

He comes and sits beside you. “Oh baby, of course I like you.” He runs his fingers through your hair. “I didn’t mean to neglect my little girl.”

He takes the towel that is wrapped around you like a safety blanket and pulls it away. You immediately try to grab it back but he doesn’t let you. He then pulls you to your feet.

“No, let me look at you.” He doesn’t just look though. No, he touches you as well. Daemon’s hands trace down your sides and over your breasts, between your thighs. “Such a sweet thing. I want you to be only for me. Do you understand?” You nod timidly. “And I’ll be only for you.” You look pleased at this but also a little in dream land as he drops to his knees.

Daemon hooks an arm around your left thigh and spreads your legs a little so he can begin to eat you out. He goes very slowly, giving very much attention to everywhere but your pearl and you have to hold onto his hair to anchor yourself. You grind against his face a little to try and get the attention onto your pearl. He chuckles from between your thighs and begins to suck right where you want him to.

“Ah ah…” You let out quiet little moans and he rubs up and down your thigh for comfort.

You tug on his hair harder now as he uses his tongue to try and coax your peak out of you. He works his mouth a little faster now, knowing how close you are. You can feel it building more, and more… until you fall over the edge, your legs trembling as the high washes over you. He moves his tongue slowly now, so he can help you come down off it peacefully.

“Good girl.” He says as he parts his mouth from your folds, his lips shining with your wetness. “That silly boy never made you feel so good, did he?” You flush in a way that he wasn’t expecting, like you’re hiding something. “What is it, princess? Did he not make you cum?” He asks, still on his knees for you so he can press fluttering kisses to your abdomen.

“I um… we didn’t.” You start.

“Oh honey, did he even touch you? Did you let him take those pretty panties off?” He only has to look at your face to know the answer. “Then what were those sounds coming from your room?”

“I grinded on him a bit.” You say softly.

“Did you make the poor boy cum in his boxers?” He asks with a chuckle as he stands, causing you to look up at him.

You nod.

“I hardly believe a little dry humping was making you moan like that.” He says.

“I might have exaggerated so you’d hear.” You say bashfully.

“I thought so. You did all that to get daddy’s attention? Seven hells, baby, you need to learn to just ask.” He says as he holds your chin and runs a finger over your lips.

“Okay.” You say submissively.

“Who knew such an innocent looking thing would need to be fucked so badly.” He murmurs. “Go lay on my bed and wait for me.” He says and you quickly scurry off to his room.

He makes you wait for a while, grabbing some nice ribbon that would be strong enough to restrain you. When he enters his room, you’re lying on your tummy, clutching a pillow.

“On your back, hands above your head.” He commands and you listen carefully and obey.

He then brings out the ribbon to tie your wrists together and to the headboard. “Does that hurt?”

“No.” You say as you shake your head.

He hmms in approval and parts your thighs again so he can eat you once more. You’re surprised by this, not sure how much he thinks you can take.

Once Daemon gets a second orgasm out of you, he strips down himself.

“I just… need a moment.” You say, all dazed but he puts a hand to your folds and begins to rub slowly.

“No.” He says a little coldly. “You don’t get a moment.”

You try to pull your hips away as he rubs his tip against your pearl but no amount of squirming can keep him from you.

“Daddy…” you whimper out, not knowing really if it’s a plea for more or a plea for him to stop. You can’t form the thoughts to actually care either way.

“Shhh, little girl. I know what you need.” He slips himself inside of you and you’re so slick that it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it usually does. You just feel a dull sort of ache as you take him in.

He cants his hips against yours again and again, the gentle thrusts stirring something up in your tummy. He leaves your pearl alone now but it doesn’t stop the sensation, like a coil winding up in your tummy. You’ve never considered that you could peak from penetration alone but as he lazily moves his cock in and out of you, you know that it’ll be the case today. Daemon looks surprised as well as he sees that glaze in your eyes you get when you’re close. He stopped the stimulation to draw out your pleasure but realizes that it’s likely that the smallest touches from him right now would cause you to peak.

“Are you going to cum, baby?” He asks you gently.

You just gaze up at him dreamily in response. He then feels you clench around him, watches your face screw up a bit as you squirm again. He knows he should probably stop, he could just pump himself and finish on your tummy, but he doesn’t. He keeps thrusting into you, fucking you through the high and then some. The overstimulation has you tugging on the ribbons that hold you.

“Just a little longer.” He says to assure you.

“It’s too much…” You mewl out.

He keeps his steady thrusts and you feel yourself slipping away, the touch on your pearl not even bringing you back to reality. He cums inside you and the gooey warm feeling makes you peak a fourth time but your drowsiness has your eyes feeling heavy.

“Oh, baby.” He coos out as you fall into sleep.

You don’t feel what happens next, how he unties you or wipes you down gently with a cloth. He lets you sleep for a half hour before waking you up with light strokes to your hair.

“How do you feel?” He asks as your vision unblurs.

“Tired.” You say.

“You just woke up.” He says with a light, breathy chuckle. “My sleeping beauty.”

“Lay with me for a while longer?” You ask but it’s not really a question.

Daemon could never deny you when you’re like this so he gets under the warm, fluffy covers with you. You cling to him like a koala, resting your head on his chest so you can hear him breathe. You both are more than content to lay like this. You want to absorb into him but for now you can settle on feeling the rise and fall of his chest.

Taglist(comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy

Daddy’s girl: @mukduk-not-murder @imaegonstargaryenswife0 @thefallenangel21n @ajthefujoshi

#daemon #daemon Targaryen #daemon smut #daemon targaryen smut #hotd #hotd smut #daemon x you #daemon targeryen x reader #daddy daemon #stepdad!daemon #stepdad smut

916 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 2 years

Note

I deeply do not understand fandom creators who try to get people to stop reposting their creations on platforms where the OP doesn’t have an account. Asking people to credit them - absolutely! It’s reasonable to want credit for your work. But to insist that the work only be appreciated by people who have accounts on the exact platform the OP has? And to ask followers to harass any re-posters en-masse until the re-poster and all rebloggers delete the content? I’m baffled by this.

How is fans sharing your work and linking fellow fans back to your account a *bad* thing?!

Are you new?

Most creators don't want their work reposted. They may appreciate shares from Youtube and the like. They certainly do not appreciate someone making a separate video upload or whatever.

Fandom creators are even warier, particularly about their work escaping its intended context and finding hostile outsiders. Of fucking course they do not want their work on some other platform. That's the way to get waves of harassment sent back towards that fandom creator. It also often involves lots of asspats for the reposter and nothing for the creator.

I have no sympathy for reposters crying that they got harassed over art theft. Stop stealing if you can't take the heat, asshole!

Maximum audience is what shitty influencers want. It is not the ethos of fandom. Some people seek fandom fame more than others, but there has always been a strong sense of finding your corner, not of trying to get your shit out to the entire world.

WHY THE FUCK would I care about people needing the "convenience" of my fic on their own platform of choice? I use AO3 because I support AO3. I loathe Wattpad and will certainly not want to increase its popularity with my free labor and my content.

Yes, it does annoy me when people screenshot this blog and put it on twitter. I am intentionally not on twitter because twitter is garbage. I have no desire for my own writing to increase twitter's relevance. Fandom should stop treating twitter like The Place To Be. If people feel like they're missing out by being there and not here, good!

And obviously, I roll my eyes when some attention-seeker posts my shit to reddit and gets eighty billion upvotes. If you love me so much, go give my reddit account that karma. (If you're doing your own hobbydrama writeup or something, that's different though. I'm talking about c&p posts with little of your own content.)

There are different ways of sharing, and some of them are more annoying than others. Some platforms are irrelevant to a creator, while others they actively oppose being popular. Nobody is going to know or care if you post some fan art to a private discord with your friends.

Have some god damn sense, anon.

4K notes · View notes

roronoagem · 6 months

Note

Okay but like-- imagine this:

Trafalgar Law, right?

He's a man who's kinda prideful. So when he gets hurt, he doesn't want his s/o to know that he is. I mean he's a doctor, he can do it himself, right? But the thing is he got hurt by his good arm side which is the right side. His s/o finds out and helps him heal with small kisses and hugs and he's being a baby about it (he likes the attention)

characters: trafalgar d. water law

content warning: gn!reader, law being super soft and an attention seeker hehe; i haven’t reread it, so i apologise if it doesn’t make much sense and if there are typos >_< .

a/n: i love when prideful men seek attention ok? bye. (actually, i wanna say thank you for sending in reqs hehe. i’m sorry if i’m a bit slow at responding tho)

law is too proud to actually reach out and ask for help when he’s injured. he can handle himself, he’s the doctor of the crew, he knows what he should and should not do.

he doesn’t want you to worry about him for stupid reasons.

that’s also why he doesn’t tell you — he also is full of pride. he can’t bear the thought of sitting down and being taken care of.

until . . .

“already said i’m fine,” he grumbled, not even looking at you while you bandage his arm. “whatever you say,” you focused on the task at hand before smiling proudly at your work.

“didn’t need your help,” law kept going, acting all grumpy and annoyed that you found out about his injury. “okay,” you kissed his lips and then went putting away the medical items you used just now.

law’s mind went blank before a single thought formed in his head. he actually wanted you to take care of him.

“actually,” he cleared his throat, glancing at you. “hm? do you need something else?” you turned to look at him, a hint of worry in your voice.

“no, no. i’m fine,” he reassured you, cheeks warming up as he tried to find the words. “can you, uh…”

you tilted your head to the side, just staring at him in confusion. law was quiet for some time before finally looking at your face, embarrassed for some reason.

“do that again?” he kept his voice down. you took a couple of seconds to realise what he meant, a smirk curving your lips as you walked closer to him once again.

you kissed law on the lips a second time, gently. you sat next to him and pulled him closer as to hug him, his eyes widened but he leaned into your comforting embrace. you chuckled and held him in a hug before kissing his forehead too.

“do you feel better now?” you teased him a little, enjoying this moment to the fullest. “hm hm,” he closed his eyes, not liking the idea of you making fun of him. even though getting such attentions from you made his heart race in his chest. he couldn’t deny that it was a pleasant feeling, you taking care of him and being this sweet.

you cupped his cheek and caressed his skin, you leaned closer to kiss him once more. law wrapped his arm around your body and sighed, resting his head against your chest.

“you really needed a break, you know,” you murmured, you were genuinely concerned about him overworking himself. “i think my cheek hurts too,” he ignored you completely, sounding like a little boy as you started giggling. you kissed his cheek, noticing a satisfied expression appearing on his face. “my mouth too,” he added then, abandoning the embarrassment and pushing his pride aside.

#꒰ 🖋️ ꒱ writing #꒰ 🌐 ꒱ one piece #꒰ 💭 ꒱ trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law x reader #op law x reader #law x reader #trafalgar law drabble #trafalgar law blurb #trafalgar law imagine #trafalgar d water law #op trafalgar law #one piece x reader #op x reader

386 notes · View notes

planetaryplut0 · 11 months

Text

A rant, which I typically don’t do.

You are NOT “transabled”. You are not “transid” or “transx” or whatever. YOU ARE AN ATTENTION SEEKER.

There are REAL people with REAL disabilities that struggle daily with ableism and depression because of their REAL disability, not the fake “UwU I’m so cute and silly! I have transautism transadhd transdepression transosdd transdid transfreckles transthisandthat!”

I get it-you want to feel like part of a group. You want attention, you want friends. But minimizing the struggles of real disabled people, or saying you have whatever when you DON'T is not the way to do it. Essentially, you’re just being ableist.

Tldr: Get off the internet, you’re not disabled.

Also, I HAVE autism, and I, a “cisautistic” person, find it absolutely horrific that people WANT to have autism. Sure, it may give me “superpowers”, but often, it just makes life harder. Disabilities MAKE LIFE HARDER. Be thankful that you have a body that works in the way it should, and a brain that makes life easier, not harder.

#Transx #transid #radqueer safe #radqueer #transabled #pro transx #I’m tagging it like this so you’ll see it :)

823 notes · View notes

jjunieworld · 4 months

Text

── meet cute `🪄` . ִ ֗

pairing: kang taehyun x gn!reader

genre: fluff fluff fluff, strangers to ???, magician!taehyun, some crack ??? idk

synopsis: you had a thought and a dream, you were going to be a magician. so you did what one who wants to be a magician does next, you went to a magic store. and what did you do? accidentally knock over a shelf of bang snaps and came face to face with an actual magician.

word count: 1k┊v-day event masterlist┊masterlist

a/n: part four of my v-day event! cute and short little drabble after that heavy and angsty ass beomgyu oneshot! that episode of academy reincarnation really ignited a light in me. y/n also really reminds me of that one scene of rachel mcadams in the hot chick lmao.. i hope you enjoy! ♡

all your life you only wanted only one thing: to have magical powers. unfortunately, this was the real world. so, you had to do the next best thing—become a magician.

that’s how you ended up in the magic shop out in the outskirts of your town—the star seeker’s magical emporium—wandering up and down the aisles aimlessly. your fingers trailed along the various items. from cliché magical wands to stuff for making things “disappear,” this store had it all.

you were lost in your thoughts, thinking of how you could use all the items you saw when your eyes had caught on a product claiming that it could make you bend metal. in your distracted state, your legs had kept moving and in turn, you ran straight into the display of bang snaps.

the display and open boxes fell to the floor, loud snapping and sparks everywhere. you had jumped back in shock, a loud gasp coming from your lips, when an employee ran over with wide eyes. “oh my god… oh my god, i’m so—so sorry!” you sputtered, turning your attention to the employee.

he was wearing one of those stereotypical magician costumes, the ones with the top hat, cape, and tailored tailcoat. his gloved white hand held a thick, plastic looking wand. his dark hair was styled to the side out of his eyes. if it weren’t for the deep embarrassment and your face heating up, you would remark to yourself on how cute he was.

you got down to the floor as you began trying to clean everything up. “oh, it’s okay! don’t worry about it…” the employee said as he got down to help you. you looked at his name tag. taehyun.

“i completely destroyed the display, oh my god! how much does it all cost?” you asked as the two of you got everything cleaned up. you got to your feet at the same time he did, wiping the palms of your hands on your jeans. taehyun waved a hand in the air, “it’s really no problem! nobody really buys those things anyways except the kids who come in once in a blue moon.”

taehyun waved his plastic wand in the air and you chuckled. “see? abracadabra! now it’s like none of it ever happened!” he gave you a big smile as you returned the favor. “really? thank you so much!” you exclaimed. he rolled back and forth onto his tiptoes for a moment. “is there anything else i can help you with?” taehyun asked.

you hummed for a moment in thought, “no… but you work here! can you show me any magic tricks?” taehyun scoffed playfully, “can i show you any magic tricks… follow me!” he led you back to the counter and made his way behind it as he dug into the cash register.

taehyun pulled out a quarter and held it up in the air to show you. “watch as i make this quarter… disappear!” he beamed as he waved his other hand in front of the quarter. your eyes widened in shock, a smile creeping its way onto your lips as he held both of his hands up in the air. they were both empty.

“let me guess, it’s it your glove?” you said with a smug smile. you had watched hours of magic videos on the internet and knew just about every trick there was. taehyun shook his head, chuckling, “that’s for amateurs, i’m the real deal!”

he reached behind your ear, his hand brushing against the side of your neck and sending a shiver down your spine. you heard a slight “ding!” sound as taehyun pulled his hand back, quarter sitting in it. with raised eyebrows and a smile still on his face, he presented it to you.

smiling, you crossed your arms across your chest. “okay, okay! but i want something cooler!” taehyun’s smile turned to a smirk and he leaned over the counter towards you. “alright… but for this one i’m gonna need your id, please!” you playfully furrowed your eyebrows at him and reached into your bag.

when you got your id out of your wallet, you slid it over to him on the counter and taehyun grabbed it, doing a little spin in the process. you laughed at his display and he smiled at you. “are you ready… y/n?” taehyun asked as he glanced down at your id and you nodded eagerly.

taehyun did a little show of waving his hand in front of your id, making it disappear and reappear. his eyebrows raised slightly as he held it up in front of you, eyes shining, before flicking the card quickly. with wide eyes, you held your hand over your mouth as your id turned into a small white card you didn’t see him grab.

he slid the card across to you on the counter, then waved his hand over it so your id was next to it. taehyun gave you a shy smile. you grabbed the white card from the counter and turned it over. it had his name and number written on it. grinning from ear to ear you looked back up at him.

“let me take you to dinner sometime? i can show you way better magic tricks than this… the store kind of limits me,” taehyun asked, looking away from your eyes briefly. you giggled and nodded at his proposal. “are you free tonight?” you asked him, placing the two cards back in your wallet.

taehyun chuckled and nodded, scratching the back of his head and making his top hat fall into his eyes ever so slightly. “i am, it’s a date! i’ll see you tonight!”

permanent taglist: @jjunberry @gothgyuu @spooksh0wbabe @beargyuuzz @kittyhyuka @dani-is-tired @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @rapmonie2047 @riaawr

v-day event masterlist┊masterlist┊request rules

189 notes · View notes

erospandemos · 1 year

Text

I just can't help it

Yandere Chaewon x Reader

Part 1

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

― Ernest Hemingway, Men Without Women

What you’re about to read is a confession to you. An apology, if you prefer to call it that, as I’ve professed my love to you plenty of times—although it won’t ever be enough—and you’re at the knowledge of every crime I’ve committed since we met.

My Korean teacher repeatedly reiterated the lack of clarity in my essays and oral exams. I’m not good with words, you see. That’s why I thought that letting you know about the events in my life that shaped me and the feelings that followed me throughout these months would make you understand me better.

I know our conversations weren’t as deep as you probably expected. I’ve tried to explain myself to the best of my abilities and even if it was a mess you seemed to make out that flurry of words and comfort me. Sometimes, I truly thought you understood me more than I did.

It’s true that we always talked in riddles and puzzles but it made more sense that way. Because our—my—love was pure madness and somehow the riddles explained it better than we ever could.

The lack of sleep shouldn’t have affected my mind too much, at least in the part that’s in charge of writing.

If you’re reading this, I hope you understand. Sorry if I’m rambling a lot, and sorry if I will ramble more in the following pages. Right, sorry if I’m apologizing a lot—you told me not to do that. I just can’t help it.

I was tortured since the age of 6 when I started going to elementary school, that’s as far as I can remember. You could also say I was “bullied”, it’s what the adults like to call it, but it’s the same thing. People get defensive, almost offended when I use the other term. “Wow,” was a common reaction, “that’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?” I didn’t think it was extreme.

When I so naively asked my teacher the difference between the two words, she chuckled and looked at me as if I asked her what the difference between hot and cold was. Surprise was another clear feeling I could read from her expression. She asked me how I knew those words. I simply said I heard them from outside and she told me to forget them.

That evening, when I came home, I took the chair from my mother’s desk and put it next to the bookshelf, I climbed it and looked at the books on the top shelf. They were the books she used the least and between them, sitting all dusty and forgotten, was also the dictionary.

I blew and rubbed the dust away then I looked for the two words. I read the two definitions closely and more than one time but I still didn’t understand. They were the same.

I didn’t ask my teacher anything else. My teacher was clearly against explaining them to me.

But I was sure, I knew those two words extremely well because I felt them on my skin.

I wanted to be an idol. I told everyone in my class because I thought it was a normal dream—we all watched idols on TV in the afternoon—and being an astronaut seemed a lot harder. Apparently, it wasn’t. Because I wanted to perform on a stage, I was “pretentious”, “narcissistic”, an “attention-seeker”, and a “whore”. I didn’t know what they meant and thought they were compliments and they etched those words into my skin.

I later found their definitions in the dictionary and understood what they were saying.

I wasn’t the only girl who wanted to be an idol. Hayoon, a classmate of mine, dreamt of testing for JYP, SM, YG, and all those big companies. She took dance and singing classes, they were both in group and private. She could afford it because her family was very rich. From what I heard in the classroom, she started training when she was just a little girl because her parents saw her dancing in front of the TV during an episode of Inkigayo.

Surprisingly, Hayoon was never shamed. Because she was “humble” and had “her feet on the ground”. She was loved by everyone and was the most favored prospect for the role of an idol, everyone seemed to believe in her dream. She was confident, danced well, and was beautiful. All the girls went to her house at least twice a month to go to her huge pool, splendid garden, and majestic house. I never went, I was never invited.

She was good at everything and topped all subjects. However, I sang better than her. In music classes and festivals, I was always chosen and often took the roles instead of her. When she realized she wasn’t the best, she became embarrassed and frustrated.

She didn’t have any way of making me sing worse and neither could sing better than me, even after all those expensive lessons, so she took to poking fun at me to try and drag me down. Of course her friends joined as well. They were always calling me "ugly", "weird", and "gross" in a way that didn’t seem childish or playful, but demeaning and insulting.

The other kids constantly berated me between classes, glued my books to the desk, slapped me and then ran away. They knew all the spots where there was no CCTV in the school. They even stole my brand-new headphones and glued my shoestrings to my shoes when I didn’t see them. We wore slippers and my shoes were in my locker.

My teachers never helped me. I’ve tried telling them and they didn’t believe me, or rather, they chose not to believe me because that was easier for them.

Only a girl had the courage to help me, it only took one word and two days to have everyone against her. “Stop,” she only said that and then everyone hated her. You never go against the group, you never try to make yourself different, you never try to fight back.

In the end, I understood the difference between torture and bullying: one was for hurting and one was for fun.

During middle school, the bullying stepped up a notch. Some of my classmates went to my same middle school, they had many friends there and the rumors spread like wildfire. Many of the students liked to take their stress out by bullying other students. They were pathetic and talentless, they hated anyone who had potential unless they provided them anything, like Hayoon.

Smoking was illegal. But they didn’t care. They found all the corners of the school where the CCTV didn’t see them and studied where the professors usually walked to avoid their path. It wasn’t always perfect and sometimes they were caught but it sure helped them and the bullies.

One day, I was dragged by my hair behind the basketball court and after getting pushed to the ground, the girls started slapping, laughing, and kicking me. The smoke from their cigarettes and the kicks to my belly and back took the air out of me. I couldn’t breathe and I thought I was going to die. They were experienced—they noticed my lack of breath, gave me breaks to catch it, and started kicking me again.

They were caught by a teacher who forgot his bag. They claimed they were only giving me “birthday punches” and didn’t admit anything, nor apologized. They weren’t stupid either. The girls had a very good reputation and a good student persona, essentially they didn’t have any criminal records.

When I was asked what happened, I was ready to tell them all the atrocities that took place in school. But then, I remembered the girls’ eyes. I looked at the professor and I knew, right there and then, that he didn’t believe me, even before I said anything. They wouldn’t have done anything but the word would have been out, that I snitched on the bullies and then I wouldn’t have survived.

So I stayed silent.

The girls only got punished for smoking after they explained they only wanted to try and continued to do it anyway.

Between the end of middle school and the start of high school, the bullies got more creative. They tied me up and broke my legs with a crowbar. The older the girls got, the more of them wanted to be idols, and the first thing they had to do was to get rid of the competition. They succeeded as I stopped dancing altogether since that day.

I continued singing but nobody wants to see an idol in a wheelchair, right?

After I couldn’t walk normally anymore, they started treating me like a rag. They used me to clean the bathroom, by pushing me around on the floor, putting my face against the toilet, and mopping me with dirty water. I was like a toy to them and their friends joined the fun.

Part 2

It was no wonder that many bullied students leave the school. Sometimes, they leave on their own, because they can’t stand the torture anymore, other times, the school removes them. The bullies only bully others because they can and they know they can get away with it: they have influential parents or come from wealthy families, so the school can only quietly get rid of the problem and those are the victims that can’t stay quiet.

The class in my department didn’t have many students but it was enough: 20 students. During the year, 5 students left, and at the end of the year, 2 others were sent to another school in the province. The remaining 13 weren’t enough to be left alone in the classroom so they joined us with a class from another department that also lost many students. In total, we were 31, which was a big number but they didn’t have any other choice.

You were one of those students. I only noticed you after a week because I got used to keeping my eyes low not to anger any of my classmates. You sat beside me. People usually tend to avoid me since they could also become victims of the bullies but you knew it and it was your decision.

“Is this seat taken?” you asked me. When I heard your voice, I had a moment of hesitation. I kept staring at the wooden desk but then I thought that you might have accused me of being rude for ignoring you and that would have been a good enough reason to pick on me, so I raised my eyes.

“No, it isn’t,” I replied. Your eyes were cold. I genuinely thought you were a bully too.

“Then, can I seat here?”

“You can if you want…” I told you, unsure. “But I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“What? You fart a lot?”

I was taken aback. “No! I don’t.”

“I suppose it’s fine then,” you said and took the chair out to take your desk. You started getting ready for the lesson and didn’t seem to have any intention of doing anything to me. Every time someone spoke to me, it was to make a comment, make a joke, or give me an order. Still, I was suspicious of you.

The lesson proceeded as usual. You took your notes very diligently, writing almost everything the teacher said, making graphs and small summaries to keep your memory fresh. If you were to tell me you were the top student in your class, I would have believed it and later I’d find out you really were.

Your behavior wasn’t the one of a bully. And it wasn’t the behavior of a bullied either.

At the end of the last lesson before the lunch break, the teacher gave us surveys for our future career choices. I stared at the paper with a pen in my hand. What should I write? My future, my future was stolen from me. My dream was as meaningful as an ant’s life. After everything they did and said to me, a miserable life of insignificance and sadness sounded perfectly fit for me. I kept wondering and pondering until you turned to me.

“What do you want to do when you grow up, Chaewon?” you asked me while you were lazily spinning your pen between your fingers.

“I- I don’t know, what about you?” I stuttered. I couldn’t bring myself up to pronounce those words. I felt as if I had been banished from even muttering them and thinking about it only brought me horrible memories.

“Web security,” you said. “I go around and check companies’ safety in their servers and sites. I’ve already started an internship so I’m sure it’s what I’m going to do.”

“An internship? This early?”

“Yeah, I figured the more experience I get, the better. I got nothing better to do anyways.”

“Don’t you have any hobbies? Don’t you hang out with your… friends?”

“I don’t have that many friends, to be honest,” you replied nonchalantly. “I mean, I do go out like once every three months so it isn’t a lot but I still have friends I can talk to. I’ve never been good with people, I guess.”

“Ah, is that so?”

“I was always better on my own. I tried a lot of stuff and I liked web stuff better,” then you turned to me for a second time, looking at me more intensely than before, “but you didn’t answer my question yet. What do you wanna do?”

Being put on the spot like that, I wasn’t sure about what I was allowed to say. More than that, I didn’t know what I really wanted, if the dust of my once desire was still in me if my heart wasn’t dead cold. However, after all these years, a subtle string of fate kept me going and it was still something that I liked doing.

I looked at your eyes. They didn’t scare me.

“I want to be… an idol,” I said in a single breath. After I finished the sentence, a heavy feeling of guilt dawned on me. I felt as if I just committed a crime and I was in danger.

But you didn’t judge me.

“An idol, huh?” You laid back on your chair. “That’s pretty cool. I know it’s very hard if you really want to do it, props to you. It takes some guts to train for that stuff. To dance all day, to have everyone look at you, it’s something.”

“Do- do you think I can do it?”

“I don’t know, you tell me. I don’t know how well you dance, or how good you sing, or even what you tested for.”

“But is it a possible dream?”

“You can watch idols too, right? They had the same dream as you did. They did it. I think it’s possible, yeah. And I think you can do it, Chaewon.”

When you said that, I felt so relieved. It was comforting. Finally, I found someone that didn’t hate me, that didn’t shame and believed in me.

Just as you stopped talking, the bell rang. It was the time.

“Oh, look at her, ms. Idol,” said Yejun and pushed my head away for fun. He started laughing.

“Hands off, Yejun. And go away before I sock you in the face,” you said.

“I’m so scared, oh my god,” he laughed. “What do you think you’ll do huh? Do you want to protect this filthy rag? How generous,” he said and then slapped me.

“That’s enough, fuckface,” you got up and stared into his eyes. “That’s the last warning. Leave before I do something I might regret.”

He scoffed. “Really, you talk a lot. Don’t forget that you work for my father.”

“I don’t think you get it, Yejun. I don’t just work for your father. He depends on me. One click and his whole 20 servers will blow up. Do you really think that incompetent fool of your father fixed all the problems? He doesn’t know shit about his stuff, he only knows how to count money and scam his workers. There are so many weaknesses I could just hack the whole thing and change your company to my name.”

“You aren’t funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be. Now, that I’ve seen who this rag of yours is, tell your friends to keep their hands off her. I don’t want to see your father come back and beg at me and he’ll know it was all your fault. Everyone listens to you apparently, so spread the word. I won’t hesitate.”

Yejun stormed out of the class in anger.

I felt like I was reborn, that I finally found my savior. You were the angel I needed and you came to save me from this hell.

“I don’t like this place, let’s get out of here,” you said and I followed you.

We went to grab lunch but right behind the vending machines you got attacked. He called you a nerd, whatever he did, but I couldn’t stand it. I felt a force in me and I grabbed his neck, I squeezed until he couldn’t breathe anymore.

I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for you trying to get me off, I would have killed him.

Just as that guy run off, you freaked out. I didn’t blame you. Still, you took my arm and pulled me to somewhere more covered to talk to me, scared that someone else might have seen it. I could see the surprise in your eyes, but you didn’t look terrified, you were concerned if anything.

Your hand was still bleeding, the red liquid dripped to the floor. I stared at the droplets, slowly coloring the grey concrete, as if it was the ticking of a clock. At each tick, I was getting more impatient, there was something inside me that wanted to jump out, run after who hurt you, and make him pay for it. But I had to calm down, you were in front of me.

“Chaewon, what the hell!” you whisper-shouted while repeatedly glancing behind your back and into the hallway. “Where did that come from?”

“I-I don’t know what happened,” I stuttered. I was saying the truth—at the time, I truly didn’t know why I reacted in the way I did. I never raised my hands, I never talked back, I never reacted.

“Shit, I’m bleeding a lot,” you cursed. You gritted your teeth and started walking towards the school clinic. I followed you.

You talked to me as we were walking. “You don’t just choke people randomly, you know?”

“I- I really swear! I pro-promise… I have no idea what happened!”

“Listen, Chaewon, I saw you pinning his neck against the wall. You raised a senior with one hand.”

When we were in front of the nurse's office, you pinched your nose and waved your hand to stop me from talking. The cuff of your white shirt was stained with red, it already spread so much in just a short time. You must have been in pain. My blood was boiling.

“You can explain yourself later,” you said and opened the door. “I have to close this wound first.”

I followed you into the room. For some reason, the room was empty, there was no trace of the nurse and it looked like she hasn’t been there for a long time as everything was very tidy and the coat hanger was empty. Often, when people can avoid work, they’ll do it. The nurse must have seen that there was no one needing her in the morning and decided to leave for some coffee.

You sat on one of the beds, keeping your arm stretched out so the blood wouldn’t stain the sheets and with another hand, you searched into the cabinet for something you could help yourself with. You took out bandaids, alcohol, gauze and cotton buds. You really made a mess, trying to pour the alcohol on your arm and spilling half of the content on the floor.

After sloppily cleaning yourself with cotton, you got the bandaids.

“Do you really think bandaids will do?” I asked you. “It’s way too deep.”

“Is there any other way?”

“Yeah, we have to put stitches on you.” I took the chairs from the desk and sat in front of you. In the cabinet beside the bed, there were also needles and thread for that procedure. Luckily there was an anesthetic as well.

I put on gloves. I cleaned your wound again, better than you did before, and applied the anesthetic gel. It took about two minutes to take effect, in the meanwhile I prepared the rest of the equipment I needed: forceps, curved needle, and new thread.

When I was sure you didn’t feel anything, I started stitching your wound.

“How did you learn this?” you asked me so curiously.

“I… I got used to taking care of myself,” I said softly. It was embarrassing. You nodded. I could feel your eyes scan me, looking at all my bruises, the bandaids on my face, and many more wounds underneath my shirt.

You sighed. “I’m sorry. I hope they won’t attack you anymore. Always stay with me, they are scared of people who have a known name.”

“Thank you, but I don’t think it will do anything.”

“Just do as I say,” you repeated. I could see how sure you were from your face. You definitely didn’t see, as my face was facing the floor, but I smiled for the first time after you said that. Your desire of protecting me was honest. I was really happy that you cared for me.

When I came home, I had the time to think through what happened that day. As I was drinking a cup of water, I looked at myself in the reflection of the window, my fingers tracing my wounds and bruises, itching the dried blood on my nails. Where did that strength come from? I could have sworn they had taken every ounce of energy from me, I knew I had no will, no ambition, no desire to even talk back until today. And yet, I hurt him.

I felt good. It didn’t feel good to hurt him per se but to know I defended you. As to him, I should have killed him. But you stopped me. You shouldn’t have done that. He hurt you. That shabby gross fool tried to hurt you, how could he?!

I was so lucky to have caught you before it was late. I couldn’t imagine what would have happened to you if he succeeded—the bruises on your face, the blood on your face—you would have looked just like me. No, I couldn’t stand that. You didn’t deserve to go through the pain that I did, not after you defended me. Oh, if only I could lay my hand on those sinners, the pain I could inflict them, all the experiences that I felt inside my skin, into my very flesh.

I want to hear them scream. To beg for forgiveness. To regret their very existence. I want them to apologize to you, to offer their life…

Crack

I looked down at my hands. What a mess. I completely shattered the cup I was holding—bits of sharp glass everywhere, even some into my skin. The veins of my hand were bulging, I could feel the blood in my body flowing so fast and forcefully. The adrenaline was high in my brain.

I didn’t realize what I did until I heard the sudden noise.

It was true, just as you said. It wasn’t me. But why? This must have happened because I was thinking of you getting hurt… yes, it was your thought, just you. It was because of you. I didn’t want to see you hurt, you were my only hope in this world, just the thought sent a shock through my spine and into my head, and I would go crazy.

You made me like this.

Completely insane.

“Chaewon! What happened?” I heard Yujin calling me and I turned around to see her rushing out the hallway. Yujin was my roommate, we shared the rent because it was cheaper that way. She wasn’t a bad person, not at all. But she couldn’t understand my life, she lived between rich girls and handsome guys.

To be kind, you need to know what misery is. She was just nice.

“Oh, Kirin-chan,” I said.

“How did you break your glass?” she asked worryingly, grabbing a towel to clean my bloody hand of the bits of glass.

“My bad, I was standing up and it just slipped out of my hand.”

“Then how did it get all over your palm?”

“I slipped and fell right onto it, you know how clumsy I am.”

“Yeah,” she commented without much belief, “just like all the time you come home with bruises on your face.”

“It isn’t my fault if they don’t put warnings after cleaning the stairs.”

“It isn’t your fault,” she repeated. “Anyways, don’t forget to clean it up, I’ll go back to studying,” she ended, turning around and leaving the lounge to return to her prettier room.

I continued to stare at my hand.

I couldn’t help but think about you again… my head got foggy… my thoughts haunting…

What if they scarred you?

What if they bullied you?

What if girls broke your heart?

What if you were friends with the wrong people?

I knew I was crossing a line when those questions took form but it was too late and I didn’t even care anymore. It was a promise I made myself, to protect who I loved, and I swore I wouldn’t fail again. I would protect you forever, no matter what.

I feared that you’d run away from me but instead, we got way closer than before. When I walked into school the day after the incident, I was genuinely scared I wouldn’t have seen you—that you had stayed at home, that you changed class or even school. What worried me the most was the fact that you could have been scared of me.

I waited for you anxiously. I kept scratching my nails, rubbing my arms, looking around for you. So many times I got up and walked around the paths outside the school where I thought you’d usually walk, even if I didn’t know well what were your habits, and not finding you, I’d sit back at the wall and wait again.

After several minutes, you arrived at school. At the sight of you, my dizziness and worries faded away. I immediately ran at you and hugged you so tight, you had to know how much I missed you.

You were surprised, of course, you were. “Huh? What has gotten into you Chaewon?” you laughed jokingly.

“I just thought you wouldn’t come to school anymore,” I told you.

“Why would I do that? Today is a school day.”

“It’s okay, that’s perfect. I’m just so glad I can see you again.”

Part 3

The door opened to the locker room and I and the other trainees entered sitting down. They changed their clothes from casual streetwear to old clothes and gym wear. I’ve been training for a bit now, I got to know all the trainees well, there were a lot before but now they only remained half. The one that finished first started stretching. "It's one minute and a half. Let's do this," she sighed.

One of them threw to the other a white sheet with a name written on it and did the same with the others. "Here. Your name tags."

"That's it? Just a minute?" the girl chuckled.

"A minute and a half. Everyone does their part and it's a difficult choreography, don't you forget. It will be enough."

"It's for evaluation. Don't forget every detail counts," another girl added.

We went out of the room and made our way toward the practice room, each one with a name tag on it. The corridor leading to it was cold, probably because they just changed from thick to thin clothes, but it got hotter towards the end where the air got denser. One at a time, they entered bowing at the line of men sitting on the right of the mirror in front of the door.

Everyone had papers and a pen and a serious look plastered on their faces. After a couple of stretches, the girls got into position and the music started. They smiled and danced with their full capability and the judges looked sharp. When the music stopped they held their ending pose and went in a line waiting for their words. The air suddenly felt cold.

"There had been improvements on what we said the first time. But we can also fix others," the first said and the men nodded. They wrote on the paper and scribbled.

"You. When the others did their move you were coordinated and that's fine but you did it wrong. You need to raise your hand higher," he said making the move himself and the girl followed.

"Can you do the move a bit before the ending?" another one asked, gesturing his intention. "Yes, that one. Please get into the position and do it."

They did and when it came to the next section he spoke again, "One more time."

"Once more."

"Five...six.. seven... eight... an-"

"Okay," he said and got up walking to the center of the room. He demonstrated the move more and more times. "Don't tense your muscles too much when you do this alright?"

"But," the oldest got up, "you were all a lot better today, good job. Specially Soojin and Gaeul."

"That's it, goodbye," they said.

"Thank you!" the girls answered together.

BLAM. The oldest almost slips as he got out and the others held him up. The girls let out a muffled laugh, their mouths covered with their hands."See girls, don't tense your muscles too much or they won't work properly," the man chuckled. The judges left fast, embarrassed by their eldest and the group laughed in relief.

"Are we really doing this? They are not saying anything anymore."

The youngest looked at them from the ground, laid down breathing hard, and said, "We're close to debuting."

When everyone was done with their stuff and cleaned themselves they left. Almost all of them ran out to catch the last bus of the day or were just in a hurry. I, on the other hand, had to walk home so I did everything slower. When I got out, in the distance, I heard a group of girls around my age shouting and laughing. When they got closer, I realized they were my classmates, there were about four of them and they were drunk.

They noticed me.

"Look at you. It's late, pretty girls like you shouldn't stay out," one of them said and I frowned.

"Don't tell me. You were practicing?" she said laughing. The other three got in a semi-circle in front of me.

"It's a really difficult life isn't it, miss idol? Everybody wants you and you're here dancing until late," she mocked me, with her fingers under her eyes faking tears, and let out a hearty laugh. The choir followed with a carol of joy.

"It's sad really," she continued, "so popular but so tired."

She pushed me down on the ground and the group stepped back making more space for the two. She forcefully pulled my hair, forcing me to get up. The girl got closer and said, "And you're so pretty. It would be a shame if anything happened to this pretty face."

She slapped me. They laughed. They kicked me. I tried to defend myself, curling into a fetus position and protecting my head. They snickered as they continued wasting the effects of the alcohol on me. When they were finally satisfied, they got up and left me there on the side of the road and went away to the opposite way of where they came from.

I remained on the ground with tears on her face and sobbed trying not to make any noise, I wanted silence. However I heard their voices again, from the distance, and they were screaming.

"What do you think you're doing?!" the same girl as before squealed."We're girls, you think you can-." The group gasped.

"You're five and I'm one and you just beat that girl up. You think I care?" It was a male voice.

The girls ran away but the guy didn't try to chase them and walked to me.

"There's a convenience store nearby, we can get something cold for your face," he said with a soft tone. I recognized the voice and looked at him, I recognized his face too. It was you. My legs trembled a little as I held myself upon your shoulder for support. "It's fine, take your time," you said dusting my back.

At the shop, you bought a bag of frozen peas so I could put it on my face where it still hurts. "I ate those for dinner, they're great. I can use them for everything, look, you're using them too now," you said and I laughed. I calmed down a little and your face got more serious and worried.

"I told you. Starting from tomorrow I'll bring you home," you said.

"But it was only this time," I said.

"And the other four before."

"Kind of."

"Being there by 11:30 should be good."

"But you should sleep."

"I would just be studying, and either way, it's way better to have your company," you insisted, leaning down on the chair. A small smile formed on my face. Ever since that day, the two always walked home late at night even when it was freezing or when it was raining. We got way closer.

You grew up so well. Unfortunately, many girls seemed to notice you and fall for you. I don’t blame them, you were very charming, so attractive for such a young student but I couldn’t let them near you. They were fools, too stupid to realize they were nowhere close to your level, you were levels above and they were just insects. I had to make sure no one bothered you, to avoid you crying because some worthless bitch broke your heart.

I was surprised when you told me you got asked out. But then I felt my chest burn.

There’s only one thing that I can’t stand in this world and that’s people who think they can take what’s mine. I don’t care about gossip, jealousy or envy, I don’t have anyone to compete with, I just want what’s mine. And you are mine.

It was so easy to scare them away. All it took was a quick talk behind the school, a very convincing speech, a cutter to their throats…

They were scared of me. Good. You didn’t suspect anything—they’d still smile at me as if nothing happened, I made sure to tell them. I couldn’t let you know, to worry more than you already were.

The bullying had completely stopped towards me because you were always by my side defending me and eventually they all got the message. If you were just a crush before, now I love you. If I loved you, now I worship you. You’re my religion, my god, my purpose. I’ll kill for you, live for you, and I’ll love you forever. Wherever you go, I’ll follow you. Whether that’s heaven, hell, or any other world. My very existence is embroidered into your name, I can’t exist without you.

Things were going great, so great. You only had eyes for me. Those two beautiful pupils could only look at me, at my face, at my body, only at me. I loved when you stared at me, I was yours after all, you could watch how much you wanted.

That was until those two eyes became one. You got a big bruise on your left eye, it was swollen, black, and horrible.

You were waiting for me near the big tree behind the school like you always did, and you talked to me like you always did, without worry or pain. “Hey, Chaewon,” you greeted me.

“What happened?!”

“Nothing, I just hurt myself,” you lied. How naive you were, you were too kind, too nice. I didn’t believe you one single bit. I wonder why you did that? Why did you lie to me? Was it to protect whoever did that to you? To protect who hurt you?

“Tell me. Tell me, who hurt you?” I asked you calmly.

“It’s really nothing Chae… I’m serious, I only hurt myself—”

“TELL ME WHO THE HELL HURT YOU RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!” I asked again, the sudden increase in volume startled you and you backed away into the tree. I didn’t know at the time, and you’d tell me later, but my eyes were empty. You got scared, I apologize, I just couldn’t help it.

“Ch-Chaewon?” you stuttered.

When I realized you were terrified, I calmed down. “Huh? Oh, my bad, sorry… I was just really worried, but now, please tell me.” I shook my head and took a couple of steps back.

“Okay, I will tell you… it was Seojun,” you finally confessed. “I bumped into him and spilled his drink on his uniform. I apologized, but since I was alone and his ‘friends’ were with him, they thought they could get their revenge on me.”

“I see… let’s get you some ice for that eye for now,” I told you and we started to walk into the infirmary for the second time. I hated walking into that place, especially with you. I tried my best to hold it inside me, not to scare you again, but I was going to snap anytime soon.

“Chae, are you alright?” you asked me.

“Oh, don’t worry about me, dear… and it will okay from now on. You don’t have to worry about Seojun anymore.”

You know, people say that the first time is special, you never forget it. The first time I bathed my hands in the warm liquid that is human blood, my body was cold. I felt hesitation at first, but I knew I was doing it for you, and thinking about you, all that fear was gone. And I killed him.

Yes, it was me that killed Seojun. I don’t regret one bit what I’ve done to him. I made sure he suffered as much as he made you suffer. An eye for an eye, as they say.

That day was special, it was like I confessed to you and instead of a ring, I gave you a life. It was only fair you’d give me your life in return.

The murder of Seojun made headlines in the news and when asked about it, the students never said anything nor praised or acted sad at his death. No one missed him. It’s quite sad that life can be so insignificant that not a single person will care about how gruesome your death was and forget you the next day. To be quite honest, he deserved it. We die in the same way we live.

You were a bit suspicious of me at first. You didn’t really doubt me—you were curious. The news of his death was delivered by our professor during the first period with a sigh before continuing the lesson. The reactions were mixed but mostly towards one extreme: relief.

When a bad person dies, two things will happen: if you’re a good person or a victim, you will be happy; if you’re equally bad then you’ll be scared, because you know he already got what he deserved and nothing prevented you from having the same fate as nothing is stronger than luck.

You were both worried and glad. I’ve always noticed how you tend to care about other people, it’s something that I really love about you, you just have to direct toward the people who deserve it. “Hey, Chae, do you know anything about Seojun’s murder?” you asked me during the break. You were hesitant at first but I was sure you’ve thought about it long enough to decide to spill it.

You must have thought about what I said the other day: You don’t have to worry about Seojun anymore.

“Huh?” I raised my eyebrow at you. “Why would I have anything to do with his death?”

“W-well… you see… you said that I didn’t have to worry about him anymore and the next day… he dies.” Your shoulders were so tight almost as if you were trying to keep the words inside of you. Your gaze flitted around the room, never settling on one person or object for long.

“It must have been a coincidence,” I told you. “And karma.”

“Right,” you muttered. Then you relaxed your shoulders.

“By the way,” I changed the topic, “there is going to be the last test before the debut at Hybe.”

Your eyes changed completely, they brightened. Every time I talked about my dream, you always seemed too excited for me. You fully believed in my ambition and constantly encouraged me to keep trying. Whenever I practiced, I always thought of you.

I always think of you.

“That’s awesome, Chae. It’s your opportunity, you wanted to become an idol all this time.”

“I will start practicing right away then,” I said. “I want to be with you that day. Can you come with me?”

“What day will it be?”

“Next Saturday, 4:00 pm.”

“Next Saturday… 4:00 pm,” you repeated. “I’ll make sure to be there—I will be there, I will.”

“Thank you,” I smiled and hugged you. You were still a bit against the idea of hugging but slowly you were getting used to it. I trusted that you’ll eventually come to love it.

I had prepared about four songs for the test: two for my singing and two for my dancing, one of them was good for both. I decided to be very broad with my songs because if they asked for more, I’d be prepared. You never know. I didn’t want to go there and have them ask for a random song and fail horribly.

You were waiting for me in front of the building with a little bag of snacks. I mentioned all of them before to you and you remembered. Some of them were for when I’d finish the whole thing and some as a snack to calm my nerves.

Honestly, I felt like you were my boyfriend already. If anyone saw us together, they’d say the same thing. Every little thing you did was so full of attention, I knew you cared for me, and I loved you so much.

Anyways, the time came. I bid you goodbye and entered.

The test went terribly wrong.

You waited two hours for me, only for me to blow it all up. When I came out, I was so embarrassed, I didn’t want you to see me at all.

“So Chae, how was it?” you asked but I didn’t reply. It was hard to come up with any word at all. I couldn’t even look at you in the eyes.

“Chae?”

“Chaewon?”

You finally got enough at the third time and you grabbed my shoulder to shake and direct my gaze at you. “Chaewon, answer me please!” you said with an upset tone.

“Do you… do you think I’m a failure?”

“What are you talking about?” you asked back.

“Hey, am I a failure? Tell me. Were the guys right? I am not meant to be an idol after all, should I give up after all? Tell me, please!” I hiccuped and cried. I was truly heartbroken. It was the test per se but the fact that I disappointed you, that I wasted all your determination and belief you had in me.

“Chaewon, no…” you whispered and went for a hug. It was awkward, you didn’t know how to hug. You tried to put a hand on my shoulder and one on my hip, but it didn’t work. Then you tried to put both of them on my shoulder but you looked like you wanted to headbut me. On the third try, you succeeded and properly hugged me very tightly.

I buried my head into your chest, it was where I could really feel safe.

“Chaewon, what happened in there? How did it go?”

“I FAILED! I BLEW IT ALL UP! IT’S ALL GONE!” I yelled and gripped you harder.

“How is that possible? You’re perfect, I mean, you sing so beautifully and you’re beautiful,” you said. “You’ve been practicing… why? How?”

“I’m sorry it’s that I was so worried. I got distracted. I continued to ask myself if I’d fail and so on… I knew the lyrics but I got jittery and…”

“No, Chaewon! I told you to believe in yourself. You can do it. You can do it.”

“But—”

“You have talent, Chae,” you repeated, “and I’ve seen it since day one. You will not fail. You just have to try again.”

I was embarrassed to see if I could try again but you weren’t and you stormed inside the building, dragging me by arm to ask the staff if I could try again. You explained everything and even pleaded with them until they gave in.

This time, you were waiting for me outside the door. I knew I wouldn’t fail again.

Don’t think about anything else. Focus.

I sang the first song. Just like I practiced. Then I danced. It was perfect.

I passed. I was so happy and I just had to tell you. I ran outside but you weren’t there.

I searched everywhere until I understood you weren’t in the building and had to search for you outside. I found you in an alley, bloody and bruised.

I immediately called the ambulance and they rushed you to the hospital. Your condition was so bad they had to x-ray your whole body and do a small surgery.

When I found you, you could barely talk or even breathe. You were laying in a pool of blood, that came from the numerous cuts all over your body—they weren’t clean but all rough and jacked, meaning they came from brute force and not blades. Your clothes were also messed up and ripped. Together, I could count on 19 injuries at least. I couldn’t understand at all. Why would someone do that to you? And how did it happen?

Together with you was a bag with two drinks and a couple of sandwiches. I suppose you went outside to a convenience store to buy something, maybe for me, and then… you were attacked. This may have been premeditated, it’s impossible a group of people randomly hurt you that bad.

I couldn’t stop crying, you know?

To see you in those conditions, I could only think of the worse.

What if you’d never wake up again?

What if you’d be miserable for the rest of your life?

What if you died?

It was my fault. I’m sorry, it was totally my fault. It was because I took way too long in the test, chatting with the staff, seeing the other girls so happily, while you were being jumped… I could have protected you, we could have gone home together and this would have never happened.

The doctor called me. “Kim Chaewon?”

“Yes?” I raised my eyes. I saw him and wiped my tears before standing up and walking to him.

“Is he okay…?” I asked.

“He’s not in danger is what I can tell you. Some of his bones are broken and he has received a concussion, he may be asleep for a while, you see,” he said.

“Can I see him?”

“Yes, you can,” the doctor agreed, “this way…”

He guided me toward another floor of the hospital. You have been transferred from the emergency room to the patient’s rooms. You were in the section where more care was needed—the hallway was quieter, everyone walked slower, and everything was more gentle.

I entered your room slowly, holding myself up with a hand on the door frame and then I saw you. Your eyes were closed. Your whole body was covered in bandages and you were hooked to all sorts of machines with cables and cords everywhere. It was almost like seeing a puppet tied up in strings and they were keeping you alive.

I was scared to come close to you. I feared that any of my movements could have damaged you even more. You were so fragile at that moment.

I gently lowered myself to the chair next to your bed and held your hand. I cried. I cried again, so much. I couldn’t help but keep thinking it was my fault. If only I was quicker…

Some of your items were put in the drawer. I noticed your phone together with your wallet and backpack. The screen was cracked and some of the blood crusted into the cracks. I don’t know why I felt curious but I unlocked the screen—you trusted me enough to let me know your password months ago to check some messages while you were busy cooking—and it opened KakaoTalk. You were texting me and the phone memorized it.

Chae be careful the bullies might be after you

Don’t go in the shortcut at the

Oh, dear. You were on the brink of death and all you could think was to warn me, to protect me. You didn’t even think of calling for help. I understood everything. It was those bullies again… they didn’t forget, did they? It’s because their life turned to hell after they didn’t have anyone to bully anymore and they got revenge but attacking you.

I was angry. I was furious. I was so pissed that I unconsciously cracked your phone even more. It was that feeling again, all over—the fire in my chest.

I will kill them. Each one of the. I will make them suffer. I will tear them to shreds. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them.

I will make them pay for everything they have done for you.

They were so stupid. It was so easy to trick them: I attacked their leader when he was coming home late and forced him to send a message to everyone who was involved in your attack—he confessed right away when I showed him my knife.

The guys came on point the next day. It was all so easy. They always hung out at the abandoned warehouse where they could make all the mess they wanted and dragged their victims to torture them properly and in private. Now they were dragging themselves to their death.

I dressed in black that day. You never liked seeing me in black. People used to tell me I tried to stand out too much so they forced me to use torn, old, ugly clothes, but when they stopped tormenting me, you brought me to buy more clothes for me.

But that day I wasn’t dressing as the victim. I was in the guise of the Grim Reaper.

I prepared my knives, axes, clamps, nails, and staplers and waited for them in the building.

Humans are so easy to kill. They are so frail and mortal—I had to be extremely careful not to let them die immediately to cause them all the pain they deserved. I’ll spare you the details. You don’t have to know of the gruesome parts of their murder. I’ll just tell you everything they did to you and in their years of bullying, I did to them. From crowbars to knives, to fire and stabbing.

When the last one stopped screaming, I felt at peace. The silence was absolute. I couldn’t even hear the wind, the cars, or the noises of the city. It was completely quiet.

I finally avenged you.

Part 4

Disposing of the bodies was quite simple but extremely tiring. I had to chop their bodies to bits, bury them and hide all the evidence. I cleaned with bleach all my weapons, the floor, and the walls of the warehouse. I had to soil the floor since it was dirty before and I couldn’t leave a clean patch in there, it would have been a dead giveaway.

Of course, I had to get rid of all their phones. I broke them into little pieces before grinding them up to a bag of dust and flushing them down the toilet.

I got most of my weapons from around the city. I stole the knives from the school kitchen and returned them to them. I did the crime on a Friday night and finished in the evening of Saturday so they wouldn’t have noticed the disappearance of their tools. I bought the rest of the tools from a hardware store so I could have just put it in someone else’s garage.

I couldn’t burn my clothes or rags because that would have caught the attention of my neighbors or anyone nearby so I colored it with all sorts of paints so the blood would have been unrecognizable. If anyone analyzed them, it would look like they were of an artist. And then I disposed of them.

Burying the bodies was the most laborious part and I could only do it during the night. It took me both Saturday and sunday to get rid of all the evidence.

The next days were all marked by nightmares. I didn’t dream of what I did. What haunted me was you leaving me. I was afraid that my crime could have separated us.

Chaewon, you’re a monster.

I can’t be friends with a murderer.

I can’t love a killer.

I hate you.

I wish you died.

I was distressed and jittery during the day and couldn’t sleep at night. Many times I would get distracted in those thoughts, imagining all the things you could say to me, and not realize people calling me. I would often zone out and not hear anything else.

“Chaewon? Are you okay?” my classmates would tell me. I would snap out of my daze and realize most of them were looking at me then I’d realize I actually chipped a corner of the table off with my grip.

“Oh, I’m sorry, it’s nothing,” I could only say. They would continue with the day forgetting about it or just tell their friends excitedly about a classmate with a freakish strength.

It was especially hard when I was training with the other trainees but I told myself you wouldn’t be proud of me if I wasn’t doing my best and forced myself to dance.

On Monday, their disappearance was announced but nobody could find anything. Not a single trace. The secret was safe with me.

They also announced your attack but they didn’t connect the two events together, assuming you were also a victim. The attacks in this Korea were common anyways. Bullying was so widespread you could say it was part of our culture.

After a week. you were still asleep. The doctor concluded that they must have stomped your head too for you to be concussed that badly. They damaged the nerves.

Unfortunately, I knew only after I killed them. If I knew I would have done the same to them so they could feel the pain you felt but I guess cutting their limbs counts as nerve damage as well.

I was getting extremely impatient waiting for your awakening. The doctor couldn’t help me but it wasn’t their fault. I’ve only realized now how much I relied on you and those days without you were as sad as Halloween without candies.

When I woke up, I couldn’t tell if the Sun rose already or if it was still sunrise, it was timid, and the light cast a somber hue in the room. It was gray and pale. The soundscape was eerily quiet, the usual chirping birds seemed to have disappeared, as if even nature was mourning alongside me.

Walking through the corridors of the school, I felt like a solitary figure amidst a sea of faces. Conversations echoed around me, yet they seemed distant. The classrooms, usually alive with energy, felt suffocatingly silent.

I couldn’t help but notice how happy the other students went on with their days, completely ignoring what happened to you. Worst of all, some students even mocked you, saying you were a loser and you deserved it. My bloodthirst was beyond the roof. I had to hold myself back a lot not to commit other killings, reminding myself that I could have raised a case of a serial killer if I wasn’t careful enough.

I thought I had been sneaky enough not to raise any suspicion but I didn’t know the only person to find out would have been you.

I was in an alley near the hospital when I met one of those mean girls. They were badmouthing you and I had to make sure they wouldn’t do it again. I didn’t kill them, you don’t have to worry about that. I merely sent a message, a little punishment. I got one nail for each insult they said toward you. Poor them, they won’t have nails for months—I hope it hurts.

They ran away but when I turned around, I saw you. You were looking at me so horrified and disgusted.

“I had my suspicions, Chae…” you said. “The coincidence was too perfect. I woke up and saw the news, I knew it was you. And now, I’m sure.”

“You’re mistaken, dear,” I tried to say foolishly.

“Chae, I saw everything.” Your face morphed into an extreme melancholy, of disappointment and sadness. My face instead contorted into a horrified frown. You… my best and only friend, my love. You discovered my worse secret—I knew what the consequences were and I knew what the risks were.

“I mean, what are you even doing here? Weren’t you still sleeping?”

“I woke up this morning—I got discharged—and the doctor let me take a walk… and then I saw you.”

“Do you know what I did all of this, darling?” I asked, my nerves were so tense and my blood was pumping like crazy. I was getting more and more scared. There was a thread inside me that was being pulled and pulled…

“W-what is it?” you asked with hesitation.

“It’s because… I… I love you.”

I saw the shock on your face but I couldn’t stop myself anymore. I did it. I snapped. You found out and there was no turning back. You didn’t have a choice either.

“W-what? What are you saying?”

“Darling, don’t you get it? I love you so so so so so much. I love you so much—to the point I killed for you. Yes, I did kill them. I murdered them. I slaughtered them. I made them suffer, love, the way they made you suffer… Please! Please understand—I’m doing this because I love you.”

“Chae, you’re scaring me. Stop…”

“Oh, don’t be scared, my love. I would never harm you or kill you… I would only cherish you—in fact, I did all of this to protect you from those bastards! I love you with all of my heart.”

That fire inside of me took over again and this time I was already glued to you, my knee under your thigh, pinning you to the wall, a hand on your cheek and one near your waist. You couldn’t move at all, I wouldn’t let you. I was finally this close to you… your skin was so smooth and soft—just like you, my precious baby.

Maybe I was smiling a bit too much. You’d describe to me later that I looked psychotic, yes, I was crazy.

You didn’t know how to react. I admit, you were so cute—so vulnerable and fragile, just at my mercy. Yet, you dared to take and push my hand away from your face.

“Chae, I’m sorry,” you said and it almost broke my heart, “but I just… I-I- I don’t know…” you said.

“What aren’t you sure about? Is it my love? Is it not clear enough?” I asked. “I’ll do anything for you, just ask me.”

“Please stay away from me,” you replied, “for a while.”

“What are you saying, darling?”

“Chae… you’re my best friend and I understand why you did all of that. I do. But I need to think about it. Don’t worry, I won’t say this to anyone, no one at all, but I need to stay alone for a bit,” you pleaded, “I just recovered too.”

“Okay, fine,” I agreed. You were right. It was a bit too much for you, especially after you just woke up from that concrete hospital bed. Also, I knew I could trust you. You never betrayed me so that did not scare me.

You slowly backed away and left me, alone in the alley.

I don’t know why but I started laughing hysterically.

I thought I messed up a lot. That isn’t the way your lover should look at you, right? Terrified and pleading on the verge of tears. You should have looked at me lovingly. I was so scared you’d leave me and I couldn’t let you do that. I needed you too much.

But then you left me waiting for almost a month. I respected your choice and didn’t contact you at all but it’s been too long. I figured that knowing I killed tormented you so I didn’t touch anyone else but rather I kept it to simply threatening them verbally and that seemed to work.

You have to understand I couldn’t take it anymore. Looking at your pictures every night wasn’t enough. Listening to your voice from the vocal messages wasn’t enough. Smelling the shirts I stole from you wasn’t enough, and the smell was fading away. My imagination wasn’t enough, especially when I knew I could have you and I was just waiting for the right moment.

Then the right moment came. I sent you a message just to let you know, you couldn’t say no. I went right to your house, which I came over to many times already, and even your mother knew me. She let me inside with a smile, she was so kind. I knew where you got that virtue from.

I heard you running frantically around your room. You must have been dressing up, so I waited until you were done, knocked, and opened the door. Your room smelled just like I remembered it, it was so good, it was just you.

“It’s been a while, Chae,” you said, clearly nervous. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing terrible, honey,” I answered honestly and you gulped. “You know, I’ve been good to you. I waited and did nothing else. I did not kill or hurt anyone. I let you have your space, then why did you disappear for an entire month?”

“I kept thinking and reflecting on what happened…”

“For a month?” I was furious. “Did you try to make me forget you? Did you try to forget me?”

“It’s that… It has been a tough month,” you said. “My best friend murdered 6 people, or more… How could I go back to what we were before? You killed… humans.”

“So? They didn’t deserve to live anyways. I did it for you.”

“No, Chae—”

“They beat you up so badly you couldn’t even walk!” I snapped. “They badmouthed you, they laughed at you and… why are you defending them?!”

“Yes, but you took their lives.”

“They were going to take your life too! Don’t you get it?”

“Chae, please—”

“No! Shut up! I can’t take this anymore! I can’t forgive them. They’re always making fun of you, beating you up, torturing you—just because you’re my friend! But you keep shoving it away and get hurt for me… I- I…”

I hugged you. I had to hold onto something and you were the only one that could have helped me stand up. All those years… I was so pent up, I was so tired of it. I know you told me many times to let it be but I can’t. Sorry, I just can’t help it. I can’t let anyone walk away after they hurt you, even if it’s something as little as pinching you, because you mean too much to me.

“Darling, I love you!” I sobbed and pleaded onto your chest, bathed by my tears, “I missed you so much. If I don’t see you even for a day, it starts to hurt, you know? I’ll do anything to stay with you, anything! Just tell me! I want to see you every day, I can’t let you leave like this…”

“If it’s like this,” you started, “we can make a deal.”

“A-a deal? Really?”

“Yes, a deal. You can see me how much you want but absolutely no killing. No physical assault and no insults to anyone.”

“Is that it?”

“Yes, you just have to restrain yourself.”

“Very well. Then, I promise, I will never kill again, I swear. Does that mean I can see you every day?” I asked. My tears finally stopped pouring out, the hiccup was still there, but I could focus and talk to you properly now. I took a deep breath and spoke, “Then you have to be my boyfriend from now on.”

“What did you just say?” you asked with confusion.

“You can’t say no. You are my boyfriend now. You know already, I told you so many times. I love you with all of myself.”

I knew you liked me a little already. I wasn’t sure if it was as strong as my love for you was, although I doubt it can, I knew you were interested in me. No one would stick with me for that long and no one would defend me from all those bullies. I knew you loved me, of course you did, you always took care of me since our first day and I couldn’t help but fall for you too.

I tried my best to change my appearance to suit your ideal type more. I dressed better, I dieted, I worked out, and I practiced so much that I wouldn’t disappoint you.

“Chae, are you sure? I’m just a regular guy and you’re an idol…”

“Don’t lie to yourself, honey. I wouldn’t give myself to just anyone. You never laughed about me, you believed in me when nobody else did, and you infected me with your kindness and humanity. You’re the best man I can ask for.”

“Thank you…”

“You’ll be my boyfriend and I’ll be your girlfriend, okay? Do you accept?”

“Uhm…”

“Do you accept?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Ma’am?” I laughed. “Don’t tell me you have some weird fetish going on… It’s okay. Just tell me, I won’t mind, hehe.”

Part 5

You have been very strict with me. The first thing you did was to establish a set of rules and all the punishment that would have resulted in breaking them. You’ve been very clear in defining them and made sure I understood you were very serious about it and would absolutely punish me if I dared to not respect them. They were something along the line of:

NO KILLING. The punishment is an instant break-up.

NO BODY HARM to anyone. The punishment is no contact for two weeks.

NO KIDNAPPING/STALKING/THREATENING other people. The punishment is no skin touching for a week.

RESPECT YOU. We’re together in this relationship and I have to listen to you.

TRUST YOU. You'll leave me if I don’t trust you when you tell me you aren’t cheating.

I accepted them and we started dating. Our relationship was as good as it was before but this time I got to be as clingy as I wanted, hugging you as much as I wanted, holding your hand wherever we went, and most of all you gave me a lot of head pats. You always gave me head pats to congratulate me when I did well in school or had a good performance.

It was difficult to respect those rules and you showed me how convinced you were of them when I broke the hand of a guy who shoved you against the lockers. You really ghosted me for two weeks without saying anything. When they ended I couldn’t help but jump on you and I promised to be more careful. Since then, I didn’t break any other rules and you showed me your love in so many ways, I lost count of them.

We learned a lot about each other and helped each other all the time. You helped me be more confident with my skills and get angry (but you told me I was cute when I got mad). You were always a bit discouraged with your work, giving up easily, and I made sure you knew how great you were. Just like me, school has really made you more insecure about yourself, but when we were together, we achieved a lot more.

Recently I discovered a hidden diary you used to keep under your bed, between the mattress and the frame. The last thing you wrote was months ago, way before the incident, and it was you rambling about me. ABOUT ME! And it was so adorable. “I have the biggest crush on my friend!” You wrote on the last page.

I stared at the words in a daze, it was like the words were screaming in my face. I was used to only obsessing over you and knowing you were going through the same thing warmed my heart.

You know, I’ve never believed in good endings, but with you, I think I finally found one where we are the protagonists. Our story is not like a fairy tale, it’s far from perfect, I am not a princess, nor could ever be one. However, you made me feel like one and I’m more than sure you’re my prince.

Sorry if I am always so obsessive and so imperfect, I just can’t help it.

THE END

Written, 7 June - 27 June 2023

#yandere #yanderekpop #yanderekpopgg #kpop #lesserafim #chaewon #chaewon yandere #angst

409 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs