#am i going too far? perhaps. i dunno. i do feel less Dirty after letting out this frustration tho. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

abundanceofnots · 3 years

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a little (just under 2k) playground scene with Lip and Ian as dads, as per @pink--and--white's request. i apologize to all actual parents in advance.

“How the fuck did we get here?” Lip asks through a huff of incredulous laughter.

Ian shades his eyes from the sun, turning to his older brother with a look of mock concern. “Your memory that bad already, old man? We drove here.”

It earns him a stinging smack on his thigh.

“Asshole,” Lip retorts back. “You know what I mean.”

Ian’s eyes flit back to the scene before them. “Yeah, I do,” he confirms a beat later, his voice more earnest this time.

This, by far, isn’t a new feeling. Lip’s had the exact same thought pass through his mind countless times in recent years, always in a momentary flash of warmth that filled up his whole chest. It happens all the more often now over the most mundane shit, though.

The first time was, probably, when Freddie was born. Then Ian got married, and Al came along, and Liam got to a good school—and after that followed every other quiet (not literally) evening when the whole family gathered up in the kitchen.

In those instants, Lip would stall himself for just a second, getting lost in the overwhelming sounds and visuals, and think, what the fuck.

He’s getting soft. That’s it, most likely. He’s getting soft and sentimental, going on with his extremely unexceptional life, wondering how in the hell did a piece of shit like himself get so lucky, and slowly becomes someone he’d gladly punch in the face not too long ago.

It hits him hard again, this strange sense of pride and wonder, as he sits next to his baby brother on a bench overlooking a kids’ playground.

This one’s the real deal. Everything here is child-proof and clean, with no syringe or dogshit in sight. Frank or some random homeless guy aren’t lying in a drunken coma by the swing sets. There’s not even one bullet hole in the slide. And maybe it’s not so hard to admit that this is actually pretty nice. That this is them now.

Still, the whole thing is, without a doubt, totally ridiculous. Here they are, Lip and Ian—the college dropout and the ex-con, the true sons of the South Side—sneakily munching on their kids’ packed afternoon snacks.

“Dumb luck, I guess,” Ian answers Lip’s question after some musing and takes a sip from Toe’s pink-colored juice box.

Lip hmms before he bites into a baby carrot. “For us, or them?”

“For us. Definitely.”

They’re just two regular dads who carry around lunchboxes and always have a wet wipe or a pack of tissues at hand, ready to blow noses and wipe off residue chocolate from chins and hands. There aren’t enough words in the English language that would describe how incredibly ridiculous this is, because once upon a time, not too long ago, still, Ian wore a jumpsuit with Dav on the nametag and believed this was it for him, and Lip thought the only way to get through life was by drinking himself through the ordeal.

How the fuck did they get here?

“Freddie! Hey, Freddie!” Lip calls out to his oldest, who hangs upside down from the monkey bars, effectively ignoring him. “Fred!” he tries again with an annoyed sigh, and the boy finally remembers how his ears work. “Can you help your cousin on the slide?”

“Okay!”

With a swift motion, Freddie pulls himself up again to grab hold of a bar, unhooking his knees in the process, and jumps down into the sand with practiced ease. He then immediately gets into a run, coming behind the red-headed girl in black overalls who’s been trying to climb the gentle ramp on her own.

“What was that about?” Ian inquires amusedly.

“Early puberty, I think. He doesn’t want us to call him Freddie anymore. It’s Fred. No Fredster, no Fredtastic, definitely no Fredosaurus. Just Fred. Apparently, I went to bed, and my son turned into a middle-aged man overnight.”

“Oof. That’s rough.”

“Yeah. The next thing I know, he’s gonna get a neck tattoo and his first STI. Al, buddy!” His younger son Alvin, at least, seems to have no trouble with hearing. “You need help? Want me to push you?”

“No, I’m good!” the blond kid shouts back from the swing, and to prove his point, he pushes himself harder off the ground to gain momentum.

Lip scratches his forehead. “They don’t need me anymore,” he comments darkly. “I am officially a bother.”

“You’ve always been a bother,” Ian notes before he stuffs his mouth full of grapes. “Come on, Lip. Freddie’s eight. He’s not exactly packing his bags to leave home. He’s still very much a daddy’s boy.”

“I don’t know, man. When I remember what I was already doing when I was his age….”

“Yeah, but that’s different. They’re not like us. They don’t need to be, and that’s a good thing.”

Ian’s right, but the concept of normal as something desirable, something he doesn’t necessarily need to rebel against, is something Lip may never fully come to grasps with. And neither does Ian, even if he says otherwise.

“We might be getting a dog,” Lip says after a while, pausing before he sinks his teeth into a cheese stick.

“No way!” Ian smirks at him. “Look at you, perfect American family and shit.”

Lip snorts at that. He and Tami are pretty damn far from perfect. “You not thinking about getting a pet? A friendly rottweiler for Mickey, perhaps?”

“No. First, I gotta talk him into having another kid.”

That takes Lip by surprise. He knows Ian absolutely adores his little girl, his mini ginger twin that everyone got to call Toe, short for Tomato, but he also knows the whole story behind how she came to be.

“Oh, yeah? You’d like another?”

“Yeah,” Ian admits, and as his eyes drop to his lap where his fingers fiddle with a paper straw, Lip realizes he sounds ashamed about it.

“Not as easy as poking holes in condoms with you guys, huh?” he jokes to release the sudden tension.

“Hah. No.”

“You told Mickey yet?”

Meeting his brother’s eyes again, Ian gives a noncommittal shrug. “I hinted.”

From experience, Lip knows that hinting in Ian’s case almost exclusively means Mickey is fully aware of his intentions and just chooses to ignore them before Ian confronts him head-on.

“Hopefully, you’ll have another girl,” he tells Ian after a quiet moment filled with children’s high-pitched screams and the steady screeching of a swing set. “It’s a lot more physical with boys. These two are already fighting like we used to.”

“Doesn’t really matter when you’re raising a Milkovich,” Ian remarks before yelling: “Hey, Toe? You wanna have a sip of your juice for me?”

The girl waves at them eagerly as she slides down the bendy chute. Getting to a run right as her feet touch the ground, she comes to a jolty halt in front of them, taking a good, hard look at the juice box as if only now realizing what’s expected of her.

“No, thank you,” Toe then peeps and skips off again.

“Polite,” Lip appraises.

Ian gives a low chuckle. “Fuckin’ weird, huh?”

“With Mickey as her dad? A little.”

They watch the kids play for a few minutes. Ian offers to exchange a cheese stick for three grapes, and Lip negotiates it up to five before agreeing.

“You think he’d be against it? Having another kid?” he asks Ian mid-chew.

“I mean, I wouldn’t blame him, after all the shit with Terry. Maybe with a second kid, he’d think there’d be twice the damage he could do. Dunno,” Ian surmises uncertainly. “I know how hard it was for him to even want a kid, and I get why he was scared. Don’t get me wrong, I’m shitting myself every day when I think of the ways I could fuck this up. But he’s a great dad. You saw him with Toe. She’s obsessed with him. The way she laughs at everything he says makes you think he invented comedy or something.”

Lip’s aware that their conversation turned sort of serious once again, but he can’t help not breaking into a smile. “Sounds like you’re kinda jealous of your husband there, Ian.”

“Oh, I hate his guts,” his brother confirms, only partially kidding. “I’m a fun dad, too, you know.” As if on cue, a figure coming their way catches his attention, and Ian nods to where his daughter’s playing, telling Lip: “Okay, watch this.”

Mickey gestures at Freddie with a finger to his lips, coming around the slide just in time to catch his daughter in his arms with a victorious roar.

“Daddy!” Toe announces the good news to everyone around with a loud squeal.

Ian gives his brother a pointed look.

“Fuck, man,” Lip huffs with mock seriousness. “You tellin’ me she loves her dad? What a nightmare.”

“Yo, lunch ladies.” Mickey suddenly approaches them with Toe at his hip. “How ’bout less chit-chatting and more kid-watching? Think I’d remember if I left my kid with a giant fuckin’ bruise on her forehead this morning.”

“Yeah. She’s had a bit of a scuffle with Alvin earlier,” Ian says, reaching out to soothingly rub Toe’s calf as if said scuffle and the tears it brought weren’t already long forgotten.

“The hell’s he doin’ fightin’ someone half his size?!”

“She started it!” Lip counters weakly.

“Okay.” Mickey’s mouth hangs open for a minute before he finds his figurative footing again. “I guess she had her reasons for that. And you should teach your kids to not fight dirty.”

“I go play now,” Toe informs him then, putting a stop to his rant and his bad mood in one go.

“Yeah! You do that!” Mickey replies as he puts her down, matching her level of enthusiasm. She heads for the extensive pirate-ship-like construction this time, watchful cousin Freddie already on her heels, and Mickey drops heavily next to his husband, letting out a prolonged groan into his hands.

“Tough day?” Ian asks needlessly.

“Igor’s a fuckin’ idiot.”

“Told you he was.”

“And I agree, so drop it, a’ight? Hey, by the way.”

“Hey,” Ian echoes before they exchange a quick kiss.

Mickey notices the juice in his hands then and perks up. “That raspberry?” he checks after he’s already snagged the box for himself, taking loud slurps from it to get every last drop. He finishes off with a belch. “Fuckin’ love raspberry.”

Lip finds that anything he’d say at that moment would only spoil the natural fucking beauty of it, so he just appreciates with a private snicker.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Toe yells from the top of one of the pirate ship’s smaller slides. “Come play!”

Mickey pats at Ian’s thigh. “That’s on you, man. I’m beat.”

Putting his fun-dad face on, Ian heaves himself up without a complaint. “Hey, jellybean! Do you think your dad can fit on the slide, too?”

Toe shakes her head vehemently, giggling as she watches Ian jog toward her. “No, daddy! No! No!”

“What, you don’t think I can?” Ian asks again, halfway through his climb up on the board. “Well, take off your socks now because they might get blown off! I’mma fit!”

“Daddy!” Toe howls with laughter as he bumps his head on one of the low railings.

Beside Lip, Mickey imitates the reaction, both his hand and the phone he’s holding with it to record a video visibly shaking. When he notices Lip staring, his grin falters a little.

“These two jokers,” Mickey complains after he ends the recording. “She always laughs at everything he does like he invented comedy or some shit.”

Lip answers with a knowing smile, his chest feeling full of warmth.

Seriously, how the fuck did they get here?

#toe fic 🍅#my fics #gallavich fic #shameless fanfiction

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 3 years

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Protea (Part 6)

Snapdragon feels all warm inside. She hasn’t had fresh bread since she’d left Hira’a. It is still warm and it melts like butter on her tongue. It tastes like butter to. She decides that, after her collection of shiny things, palace food is her favorite thing. She dangles her legs over the beam and lets the breeze play with her hair.

“Can you scramble back in here?” Mai asks. “You’re stressing me out.”

“Why?”

“Aren’t you afraid that you’re going to fall?”

Snapdragon looks down. It wouldn’t exactly be a nice fall, the rubbish beneath the beam is mostly metal bits and blades from old war and industrial machines. But if she looks down in a different direction she can see a beach and a lovely sprawl of houses. “I like it up here.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

She shakes her head. “Nope, I ain’t afraid. I been up here so many times. It’s nice. You should come up here.”

“No thanks.” She replies. “I don’t really care for heights.”

Snapdragon shrugs. “Suit yourself. I like heights though. You get to be above everyone and usually no one can get to you so it’s peaceful.”

“Yeah, until you misstep.” Mai shudders.

“That’s why you practice down there first.” She points to a small stack of crates and a brick wall. “If you do it wrong you get scrapes and bruises…”

“And broken bones?”

“Only once!” Snapdragon declares. She holes out her arm and shows the woman another scar. “It weren’t so bad.” She taps her chin, “But Mohi says that’s only because I passed out ‘n so I couldn’t feel it.”

“You are not helping me like heights any better.”

Snapdragon scrambles her way back across the beam and into her nest. “Have the flowers come in yet?”

Mai shakes her head. “They’re being delivered on a boat, it’s going to take a while.”

Her eyes light up, “so since we have time, will you go trinket hunting with me?”

“I was actually hoping that you’d tell me a story.”

“I like telling stories. What kind do you wanna here.”

“When we were at the palace, you said that you were found in a jungle.”

Snapdragon nods.

“What did you mean by that?”

“I meant that I was found in a jungle. I think that I was born there.” She pauses. “I don’t really remember it much. I forgot a lotta things.” She thinks for a moment. “But Mohi can tell you! Can I introduce you to Mohi?”

.oOo.

Mai isn’t sure that she wants to meet this Mohi woman. But Snapdragon is all to enthusiastic for her to turn the woman down. Anyways, she is rather curious about the woman’s origin story. And so she stands before a rundown little shack with lopsided shudders and a roof full of holes and cracks.

Snapdragon gives the door several knocks.

“C’mon in.” Calls a voice. “’S open, ya know that by now, girl.”

“Mohi, I brought someone for you to meet!”

“Tha flowa lady?”

The inside of the shack smells like cooking oil and scorched meat. She half expects an elephant-rat or a roach to crawl out of one of the cracks in the stained wall. But other than a clutter of clothes, old kitchenware, and some scattered scrolls the place is fairly clean. Cleaner than the decrepit exterior had hinted. She removes her shoes and sets them upon the mat by the door.

“Ya have to excuse tha mess. I tol’ tha boys to help me clean it but they’ve been blowing that off for firebendin’ and this one…” she gestures at Snapdragon, “keeps bringin’ junk home.”

“It ain’t junk, Mohi!”

“Then wha’s this?” She holds up some sort of metal plank. Perhaps a broken rafter or the blade of a propeller.

“I dunno.” Snapdragon admits. “I just thought it were neat.”

Mohi sets it aside with an audible groan. “She jus’ tosses things on tha floor. Makes more work for her motha.”

“I’m gonna pick ‘em up.”

“You’re her mother?”

“In a manner’a speakin’.” Mohi returns to her chopping block. She slices a carrot twice more and then adds, “I don’t suppose she’s gone ‘n tol’ ya that I foun’ ‘er in the jungle one night.”

“She mentioned it.” Mai sits down.

“That’s what we’re here for, Mohi!” Snapdragon declares. “I was hoping you could tell her the story.”

“Let me jus’ finish wit these carrots. Maybe ya could help me wit ‘em. Or ya can start on the potatoes?”

Snapdragon picks up a knife and a potato.

“Ken ya cook?” Mohi asks.

“Not very well.” Mai admits.

Mohi nods. “She was tellin’ me that ya is one’a tha uppa class ladies.” She gives the carrot another chop. The knife clomps on the cutting board.

“I am.” Mai replies. “But I don’t mind giving this a try. It beats…” sitting in the palace with Zuko, enduring his awkward attempts to clear the air. “It beats home life.”

“Aye. Then grab’a board ‘n a turnip. I’ll tell ya a story while we choppin’.”

“Leave the roots for me.” Snapdragon says.

.oOo.

The night held a sweltering humidity. Moonless, cloudless, the sky was an uninterrupted canvas of stars. And the hog-monkies screeched while the toad-squirrels chittered and croaked and the crickets droned on and on.

A middle aged woman tended to her garden, to the night blooming flowers, watching the flutterbats swoop down overhead. Mohi much preferred to do her gardening at night, safe from the sun’s hottest glares, safe from forced small talk with passing neighbors, and safe from the neediness of her sons--at least until the next morning. She thought that it was boundlessly more pleasant to do yard work with fireflies for company. She’d seen far less spider-wasps too.

That night, the fireflies were particularly active, dancing in clouds like a current through the sea. She stooped down to pluck an iris. She tried not to look at the treeline, lately the jungle had been acting mighty strange. It glowed and it sang. It hummed with spirit energy, too much for her comfort. And more of it than she had seen in decades. It wasn’t a bad thing necessarily, but she has always thought that it was best to just leave the spirits to themselves. Of the dark or light, they could coexist side by side, never interacting, only quietly crossing the paths of one another. And so she had maintained peace.

Peace, a bountiful garden and sugarcane field, and a family in good health. It was a lifestyle she could never trade. How could she give up waking up to the smell of sugarcane, bamboo, and wildflower every morning? How could she give up morning strolls into town to trade her sugarcane for fish and to watch a good theater performance with her boys?

Life was well. Life was prosperous. Life was everything she could have hoped for and she was almost certain that she owed it to the respect and care she had put into a land that is so close to the world of the Spirits.

And so when the spirits tossed her a young woman, she couldn’t bring herself to throw her back into the jungle. The poor thing stood at the treeline, dirty and scraggly haired. Mohi almost hadn’t noticed her. She wouldn’t have if not for the fireflies. They had all paused, going dark for a good while before lighting up again collectively in a spiral around the young woman.

Spirit energy radiated from her, the woman’s very skin hummed with it when Mohi took her hand. Quickly, instinctively, the young woman jerked her hand away with a snarl and ducked back into the jungle.

Mohi was inclined to let her return to the jungle from which she emerged. But she was human. Only human. And Mohi thought that she must have gotten lost out there and for a very long time. Such a long time that human contact had become foreign. Or maybe she had never had it at all. Mohi was well aware of the parents who’d abandoned their unwanted or unplanned children in the jungle.

“C’mon chil’, let’s get ya inside. ‘S nice inside.” She’d tried coaxing the woman.

She’d retreated deeper into the jungle and deeper still until Mohi had lost sight of her and was willing to venture no further. But she returned the next night and the night after. And six moons from then she caught the woman eating an unripe and raw pineapple.

She’d coaxed her into the house with a sweetly smelling fruit basket. She’d disappeared again in the middle of the night. The jungle had grown quiet, the spirit activity seeming to cease. And just when Mohi thought that the girl was gone for good, Kaz had come running into the house complaining of a naked lady in their sugarcane field.

That day Mohi hadn’t taken any protest, and spirits did the woman put up a fuss. By sunset, she had the girl bathed, clothed, and seething with a feral brand of rage. Decidedly she would teach the woman some manners.

It would be quite some time before she would be able to leave the woman alone, mostly Zenyul would watch her when Mohi couldn’t. And it would be much longer before she could take the woman out in public.

But when the woman finally began speaking in something other than grunts and clicks, it was a natural process. As though blockage had been cleared from a creek, speech had returned to her. Mohi had grown certain that the woman had gotten herself well and lost in that jungle, she only had to help her remember the civilized world she had once been a part of.

Her speech had been broken at first, hard to understand but she was getting there. And then she’d gotten there. Mostly, Mohi could forget that she had found the woman in the jungle. Mostly she was like everyone else, well groomed, clothed, and only somewhat less than well spoken.

Mostly, Mohi could return to her usual day to day endeavors. To the life she adored and cherished so well. It was a nice home, a nice standard of living. If only the girl hadn’t had such wandering, thieving fingers. If only the girl wasn’t prone to bouts of mischief and troublemaking. If only the jungle didn’t drive the girl mad on nights when the moon was new. It was a lifestyle she could never give up, and yet for the sake of this woman whom the spirits gifted her, she’d leave it behind.

Leave it behind for a run down shack in the unpleasantly smelling outskirts of a city much too grand for her tastes.

.oOo.

Mai supposes that it makes sense; Snapdragon’s mannerisms and her taking comfort in nests and shiny things.

“Did you like her?”

“Hmm?” Mai asks.

“Mohi. Did you like Mohi?”

Mai nods, “she seems like a nice woman. She takes cares a lot about you.” She wishes that her mother were as invested in her well being as Mohi is in Snapdragon’s.

Snapdragon is quiet for a long while and Mai grows uncomfortable under the cloud of silence. “What’s wrong?” She finally asks. “And don’t try to tell me that this is a happy hush.”

Snapdragon laughs but only briefly before her smile fades. “You think it’s weird, don’t you.”

“That you used to run naked through the jungle and eat raw pineapples?”

Snapdragon nods.

“I thought it was weird to watch you eat a whole sunflower and then scamper up and into your nest.”

Snapdragon frowns.

“I’m looking for strange.” Mai confesses. “Everything is so boring, Snapdragon! It’s the same thing every day; I would wake up and go to some council meeting with my dad or with Zuko when I was his girlfriend. I would have a nice meal and warm bath--rose scented soap every time. Sometimes I’d go for walks or talk with the other ladies in the palace. I used to talk to TyLee and that was interesting but then she left to join the Kyoshi Warriors and it was just me, Aunt Mura, Tom-Tom, and that flower shop. And then it was even more of the same routine every day.” She pauses. “And then you invited yourself to work at my stall.”

Snapdragon curls her bangs around her finger. “I thought that…”

“Everything was just starting to blend together one really long dull day that never ended. I can tell the difference now.” Mai says. “It’s not boring. You make me feel things because you’re weird. I wish more people around here would just be bizarre and unpredictable. I wish I could scramble up a tower and surround myself with random items.”

“You can.” Snapdragon smiles. “You can visit my nest even if I’m not around. Just don’t break anything.”

“That’s not the point, Snapdragon.” Mai says. “The point is; I know that you’re weird and I want you to keep doing that.”

She needs her to keep doing that. Maybe if she does, she can start to break the monotony on her own.

“Keep doin’ what?”

“Hoarding your knick knacks and eating more questionable parts of plants.”

Snapdragon nods, “I can do that.” She fidgets with her metal propeller blade. “I have to drop this off. Will you spend the night with me? I never had a sleepover before.”

Mai thinks of her comfortable bed in the security of the palace. She really ought to go there. But she is casting normalcy to the side now, doing the things that her mother would likely disown her for. “And I’ve never slept in an abandoned factory before.”

“It’s really nice ‘cept for when it’s windy and the breezes get in the air ducts and it makes these spooky noises. And sometimes…”

“Let’s just get to the factory before I have second thoughts.”

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Avatar Mai #Maizula #Fanfiction

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yankyo · 4 years

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Message Recieved- Part 2

Part two of the fuckboi Beej idea that @beetlejuicebeadoll thought of!

Warnings: mention of hypnosis, stalking, general creepy beej, light hints of sexual frustration

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Ding.... Ding.... Ding.... Ding

You refused to look up, what was the point? You already knew which jackass it was that was spamming you this late at night. The only douchebag who never went on silent, no matter how many times you tried turning off the ringer.

Ding... Ding... Ding... Ding... DingDingDingDing

With a few choice expletives snarled under your breath, you snatched up your phone, "Can you shut the fuck up already? I'm reading it!" You snapped to the empty air, hoping the bastard was close enough to hear you. Fuck, you barely had to hope, he never seemed to stray far now. You scanned the texts, your irritation growing with each word.

🐞🥤: hey, hey babes

🐞🥤: I'm booored

🐞🥤: at least put on some TV or somethinggg

🐞🥤: babes, stop ignoring meeeee

🐞🥤: I'm dying heeeere

🐞🥤: figuratively lol

🐞🥤: hey, whatever happened to the sexy shorts??

🐞🥤: can we bring those back?? I miss them

🐞🥤: babes, are u still ignoring me??

🐞🥤: baaabes

"Don't you have something better to do with your life?" You snarled, glaring at the empty air.

🐞🥤: not living, babes.

"You fucking know what I mean, you dickbag!"

🐞🥤: ooh keep talking dirty babes

You threw the phone this time, an almost too common occurrence ever since this creep decided to situate himself in his life. The fact that any of this could be common was crazy, but apparently humans could get used to anything and in the past few weeks of being haunted, you found that you were more irritated by the pervy spirit currently possessing your phone than actually scared. After all, all he could really do here was annoy you through the phone, he couldn't affect anything else or really cause trouble without you saying his name three times and since that wasn't happening anytime soon, the both of you were more or less stuck with one another. At least until you could figure out a way to get him out of your phone.

Ding, ding, ding the sound of your phone made you sigh, but you turned on the tv and just tried to ignore it now. Beetlejuice loved getting under your skin, constantly flirting and joking around, just trying to either make you blush or piss you off - usually succeeding with both. Every day ended with him begging you to say his name to no avail, and then every night he would torment you with stupid dreams. That was the worst part of it all. Every single time you tried to go to sleep, you saw him, could feel his rough hands pinning you down, felt his lips painting a sweltering path along your skin as he growled his devotion to you. You dreamt of those sharp teeth of his gleaming in the light, hovering just above your neck as a cocky smirk spread across his face, you had woken up begging for him to bite you, thankfully you hadn't said his name, but it was getting just far too close these past few nights. And the worst part was that no matter how desperately needy you woke up, you couldn't do anything but take a cold shower and try and not think about the promises he had hissed in your ear in your dreams while the fucking bastard acted like he had done nothing wrong. It was frustrating and even when you tried to ask him, he would just get all the more cocky with you and ask you all sorts of questions about your dreams as if he wasn't the one causing it. Prick. Well, you weren't going to just give him a free show - and besides, the idea of him just watching you was.... ding, ding, ding. God. Fucking. Dammit.

🐞🥤: u know, babes

🐞🥤: u've been looking awfully tense lately

🐞🥤: I could help out u no.

You scoffed, shaking your head, but you didn't dignify that with a response.

🐞🥤: nothing pervy ya know, a little massage

🐞🥤: I'm real good w/ my hands u know

🐞🥤: just an offer

Having his hands on you was the last thing you needed right now! Implications of what freeing him would actually do aside, if he was this distracting just living in your phone, you shuddered to think of the mischief he could get into if he was free.

"I'd be a lot less tense if you moved out of my phone and found someone else to fuck with." You deadpanned.

🐞🥤: 😢 hurtful, babes

🐞🥤: I LIKE being here with you tho

🐞🥤: ur pretty and cool and all, sides

🐞🥤: u summoned me, can't leave til my name is called and all that

How the hell that worked, you had absolutely no clue. You did know that swiping right on tinder did not equal a summoning, but then again, what did you know about summoning a ghost demon fuckboi? "Got anything else?" Why you asked, you didn't know. The smart thing would have been to just leave the phone there and go to bed, hope that you could get through the night without any more frustration, but the thought of going back to those dreams and not having an outlet for them.... yeah, not how you wanted to spend another night.

🐞🥤: hmm

🐞🥤: I've got one trick, but I dunno if U'll be up 4 it.

You should back out now. You should just step away and find something better to do with your time. "What's that?"

🐞🥤: Texting isn't all I can do.

For a moment, you were confused, you knew he could somehow send pictures. They were blurry as all hell, but got the point across. And the thought of asking him if he meant what you thought he did was enough to make you want to self combust right then and there.

🐞🥤: .... my voice is weird tho

Oh. Oh. How did that work? "You can call me?" You pressed, curious now. Silence. The screen went black and a mass of unintelligible letters popped up as a distorted ringtone echoed through the apartment. Now would be a great time to collect your brain cell and run. Maybe to a church or something, stop being the main white lead in every horror film and perhaps not be possessed by a being you barely knew anything about - why were you answering the phone?

Static rippled through the speaker, the person on the other line drew in a trembling breath.

"Hey babes." His voice was low, gravelly, it sent a tingle down your spine.

"H...hey..." what were you even supposed to talk about now? "Your voice isn't weird." Perhaps it was the nerves, perhaps your own awkwardness, but thankfully Beetlejuice laughed, a soft, deep chuckle that somehow made you join in as well until the sound turned cold, intimidating, almost threatening.

"Just wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet." The desire to drop the phone and run was back, but you were glued in place. "Breathe, babes. Can't have you passing out on me yet." You exhaled a shaky breath you hadn't noticed you were holding in. "Good. Relax now, I ain't gonna do anything scary." Almost against your will, tense muscles relaxed and you leaned back against the couch, eyes falling shut. You hadn't lied, his voice wasn't weird, it was nice, almost too nice. Though he never raised his tone above a husky purr, it filled you, his voice was your entire world. "Better. Now, what's got you so tense, huh, doll?"

"You do." The response was automatic, you couldn't have stopped yourself if you tried.

"Just me? Come on, that can't be it. You were tense when I got here." He was right, you couldn't blame all of your frustrations on him, there had been a reason you had been scrolling through tinder from the beginning, after all.

"I...."

"You can be honest with me, you know. You're lonely, just like me, aren't you?" The words were settling in your bones, dragging out those thoughts you had been pushing down.

"Yes." A breath, a relieved exhale that made your heart twist violently in your chest.

"Isn't it better to be truthful with yourself?" You found yourself nodding in response. "You can depend on me, I won't let you be lonely anymore. You don't even have to say my name, just don't chase me away, let me stay by your side just like this." Just like this? How was this satisfying for him? Bound within your phone, invisible and formless, only able to reach out from within a screen - it had to be torture.

"Why me?" The question shocked both of you and the spell that had settled over you shattered. "How is this good?" You pressed forwards, and for once, you had rendered Beetlejuice silent. "Why didn't you just force me to say your name or something? Don't you want to be free?"

"I..." it was his turn to flounder.

"Better yet, why stay here? Why waste your time on me at all? I'm not giving you what you want so why don't you just leave?"

"I just... I..."

"You don't know anything about me anyways, Beetlejuice, I'm not that treat of a person, why cling to me like this?"

"I DO KNOW YOU!" His purr had become a wail and even as your phone slipped from your fingers, his voice came through the speaker clear as ever. "I know you." He repeated, insistent. "I know how you speak to yourself when you're alone, how you laugh at your own jokes and console yourself when you're sad. I know how you like to fall asleep watching old crime shows, but will get so scared that you wrap yourself up in your blanket and walk circles around your home to make sure everything is safe. I know that you meet people just to shy away the second they try to get close. I know how your face brightens when you laugh and how your eyes dim when you're sad. I know you hate crying, so you cry in the shower so there'll be no evidence left behind." You were backing away from the phone now, how could he know all of that? He's only been here for a week, right? Your phone was shaking now, the screen sparking with green and blue and red. "I know you because I watched you. Because I love you. Do you know how long I've waited just to be able to talk to you like this? So you would know who I am?" He watched you? He called your name, the sound sharp, imploring. "I just want to be a part of your life. I don't want to be invisible anymore!" Scared wasn't an accurate enough word for how you were feeling in that moment. You felt as if you would be sick. You had to get away from here. Away from him. "W-wait!" As you stepped back, he called for you, as if he could sense what you were doing. "Don't leave me, please. I'll be quiet! I'll stop being so annoying! Babes!"

"Stop calling me that!" The scream echoed through the apartment and Beetlejuice fell silent, your phone screen turning a darker purple before it finally turned black - but you were already turning on your heel and running from the apartment.

#beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice fanfiction #beetlejuice x reader #f0ckboibeej

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gxdsetmxnsters · 4 years

Text

You’re the One Thing I Can’t Let Go

Originally posted on both Wattpad and Ao3 ; Vent fic ; Scriddler ; mentions of domestic violence : unhealthy relationships : alcohol : sex : unhealthy coping mechanisms

"I dunno what happened," Edward blubbered before angrily wiping his runny nose.

He was slumped against the chair he was sitting at with Selina sitting across from him with a concerned look on her face. It wasn't every day that Edward Nygma, aka the Riddler, dropped in for a visit, and it was much less common for him to come to her apartment in the beginning stages of a breakdown. Scratch that, it was something that'd never happened before, and she considered Edward a close enough friend to be concerned for his general wellbeing and current state.

"Try to explain," Selina said soothingly, unsure if reaching across the small kitchen table and putting a reassuring hand on Edward would help calm him down or cause more problems than it was worth.

"Dunno, dunno," Edward whined softly. He drew up his knees and balanced on the chair, hugging them to his chest. Selina almost asked if he wanted to move to the living room as the couch was more comfortable than a chair, but refrained. If Edward wanted to move he'd either do so himself or ask if he could.

"Was it Jon?" Selina asked carefully, knowing she had guessed correctly with the way Edward stiffened and sniffled loudly.

"Iddint always," Edward said, his current state making his words sound nasally and pinched. "It's always that prick."

"What happened?" Selina pressed, leaning forward and eyeing Edward, concern growing for the man in front of her.

She was well aware of the relationship between Edward and Jonathan, as was the majority of the other rogues, but only she, as far as she knew, was fully aware of how dysfunctional the relationship truly was. Sure the relationship itself was dysfunctional at best but it went deeper than just the simple assumption that it was dysfunctional.

The fact of the matter was the relationship bordered on being nearly as bad as Joker and Harley's relationship, but granted for different reasons. Selina had learned of this when Edward had shown up on her doorstep nearly a year ago with a busted lip and the clear signs that he'd been gassed with Jonathan's Fear Toxin.

Having managed to pry information out of Edward then, Selina had been mildly horrified by the behaviors and actions Edward and Jonathan took out on each other. She'd learned that such fights happened at least two to three times a week from arguments that often started out being petty.

Edward had confessed that he was at much of fault as Jonathan was for their "domestics", having given the other man more than one concussion by hitting him with his cane, and even the one time occurrence of breaking the man's arm, of which Jonathan had returned in kind.

"Jon didn't gas you again, did he?" Selina inspected the still crying Edward in front of her, relieved to see that there were, at least, no outwardly signs of Edward being, or having been, affected by the Toxin.

"Nuh uh," Edward shook his head and sneezed, easing his legs down so he was sitting normally.

Selina sighed before getting up and grabbing Edward the box of tissues that was sitting on the kitchen counter.

"I'm glad to hear that at least." Selina skid the box of tissues over to Edward who grabbed a few and wiped his nose. "I still don't understand why you're with him though."

"Not... Not all his fault." Edward hiccuped and looked at Selina with his red watery eyes. "I'm just as... just as at fault..."

He blew his nose again and Selina waited patiently for him to continue, sensing that he wished to.

"Sometimes... sometimes I wonder why I'm with him myself," Edward confessed. "I... I know it's not the best but I... can't stay away. I know it's probably bad, but I care about the bastard. Probably too much..."

His eyes lost focus as he zoned out, an odd detached look on his face a stark contrast to the emotional one he'd had moments before.

"Edward," Selina reached over and gently placed a hand on his to bring him back into the moment.

Edward jumped and yanked his hand away from Selina's, yes wide and wild looking before he calmed himself down. "Sorry 'lina."

Selina smiled slightly and waved a hand, "It's ok Ed, your reaction was to be expected."

Edward nodded before looking down at his hands which were now resting in his lap.

"Edward?" Selina prompted. "What happened tonight if Jon didn't gas you?"

"I..." Edward glanced up briefly before looking back down at his hands. "I don't know... I think it was another fight but... I don't know. All I remember is... All I remember is that Jon somehow managed to... confirm and deny something in the same breath and I..." Edward hiccuped again as fresh tears slid down his face.

"You're doing great Ed," Selina soothed again, "tell me what he confirmed and denied at the same time."

"I..." Edward sniffed and Selina fought the urge to make a face at how disgusting it sounded.

"Y-You know that for the past... two years Jon and I have... b-been a thing b-but it was never... anything official..."

Selina nodded slowly, "I'm aware of the fact, yes."

Truthfully she understood that part. Labeling someone as your partner, of the same sex or not, had its own set of problems in their line of 'work' so it was often not something that actively happened, or was made known, the majority of the time.

"W-Well," Edward's voice wavered as he started to subconsciously tear the tissue in his hands to shreds. "Somehow Jon and I... we got into a fight again and I thought... I thought it was gonna get bad 'lina, like real bad."

His forlorn eyes met hers again and Selina felt a tug on her heart strings. She hated seeing Edward like this. Whatever had happened to the normally upbeat and arrogant rogue must've been extremely bad if he was reduced to this, but Selina also knew the skills and talent Jonathan had at picking someone apart psychologically. It was one of the things that made him one of the more dangerous of Gotham's criminals.

"But... I don't know what happened," Edward continued quietly, shoulders hunched forward. "I don't know if Jon picked up on... what I was think of asking him or if it was something else but... he effectively acknowledged that I was his boyfriend before he..." Edward's voice cracked as a new wave of sobs wracked his body. "Before he broke up with me. Who does that? Who acknowledges after two years of being together that they're actually a couple before breaking up with them?"

His tone was laced with anger now, and Selina knit her eyebrows together, trying to formulate a response.

"I don't know," she confessed, deciding to be honest with him.

"Jon does, that's who." Edward bit out his words before he stood up and started pacing. He wiped at his eyes and took a deep breath to steady his nerves. "Fuck I need a drink. Do you have anything?"

"No," Selina said, "and I don't think you should be drinking either. It won't help anything."

"Fuck if I care!" Edward turned on his heel and glared at Selina. "I don't care if it'll help anything in the distant future, what I do care about is getting rid of this damn pain I'm feeling because I was emotionally hurt!"

"I know you were," Selina said, backing up slightly as Edward advanced on her. She slowly reached for the knife that was sitting on the cutting board. She'd been in the middle of fixing dinner for herself when Edward had interrupted her.

"Don't you dare," Edward growled, noticing the movement.

Selina sighed and raised her hands up in surrender. "Ok Edward, but you have to listen to me. Drinking away your problems will only make things worse. I know things hurt right now but you're stronger than this. You're better than this."

"Am I?" Edward's voice softened but it held a touch of bitterness. "Am I better than this? Stronger than this?"

"You are," Selina said, "don't end up like your father."

Wrong thing to say, and Selina realized her mistake too late.

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN," Edward yelled. "I AM NOTHING LIKE THAT SON OF A BITCH."

"I'm sorry," Selina said, wincing at the raised volume in her small kitchen.

"I'm fucking leaving," Edward bit out, stalking towards the door that led to the hallway. "And I'm going to drink."

"Oswald won't take kindly to you getting drunk at his bar," Selina warned.

"Does it look like I'm going to go to that place?" Edward snapped. "I don't need the whole fucking city to know about what happened. No, I know of somewhere else that I can get drinks."

Edward let out a huff of annoyance as he left Selina's apartment, slamming the door behind him. He could careless if she was going to be mad at him for that later or not. The only thing that was on his mind right in that very moment was the idea of getting very, very drunk. A small part of him knew that Selina was right, getting drunk wasn't a solution to his problems but it would sure as hell numb the feelings he was going through and that was enough to convince Edward to do it.

Stumbling through the back alleys of Gotham, he found his way to the seedy bar he'd discovered years ago when he'd just been starting out on the criminal scene. The place was horrendously dirty but had good cheap liquor for those looking to get drunk quickly, as well as... other things. Yes, Edward mused to himself, perhaps tonight he would drown himself in liquor and sex, there was no other options that sounded appealing to him in that moment.

Edward failed to notice that Selina had followed him and that she was frowning deeply at his chosen place to self destruct. She may not have been able to stop him from going, not at least without getting hurt in the process, but that didn't mean she still wasn't going to stop looking out for him. She opted to leave him for the time being, expecting to find a very angry Scarecrow at her door demanding answers. Perhaps she'd give him one, after she finished carving up his face with her claws.

Feeling considerably more cheerful at the idea, Selina made quick work of heading back to her apartment and not a moment too soon. Not even five minutes after getting back there was a pounding on her door and Selina rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"For fucks sake Jon, I'll be there in a minute!" She hollered, taking her sweet time getting up from where she'd settled herself on the couch and walking over to her front door.

Jonathan paused mid knock as Selina yanked open the door and scowled at him.

"Where's Edward?" Jon had the gall to have a guilty look on his face, which only made Selina madder than she already was.

An indignant hiss came from her before she reached up and slapped him across the face.

"How dare you!" She raged as Jonathan took a step back, eyes wide with shock as he raised a hand to his stinging cheek.

"How dare you come here asking for someone that clearly wants nothing to do with you right now, and how dare you have the nerve to ask me where he is as if you didn't hurt his feelings!"

"So I did hurt him," Jon said in a low voice, a flash of guilt crossed his face.

"Of course you did!" Selina snarled. "And you're lucky that I have enough restraint in me to not claw your eyes out."

"I'd like to see you try, child." Jonathan's face darkened as a hand slipped into his pocket.

"Don't you go all Scarecrow on me," Selina narrowed her eyes. "Ed's not here. He was, but then he left."

"You didn't try and stop him?" Jon mimicked her by also narrowing his eyes.

"No." Selina huffed, "I tried but I didn't want to fight him. That would've been like kicking a man already down and while I normally love doing something like that, I don't do it to people I care about."

She put emphasis on the last few words and smirked inwardly as a look of guilt crossed Jonathan's features again. So the good doctor could actually feel emotions.

"Where is he if not here?" Jon glanced around distractedly. "I need to apologize. It hasn't occurred to me that something mattered that much to him."

"I don't know," Selina crossed her arms.

"You're lying." Jonathan's eye's snapped to hers. "Where. Is. He."

"Like hell I'm telling you if you're going to barge in on him with threats," Selina growled. "Especially since I know how you treat him."

"I-" Jonathan open and shit his mouth. "You know about that?"

"Yes I know about That," Selina retorted. "I know quite a lot more than you think I do, so don't go around acting like I don't."

"I see..." Jonathan thought for a moment. "You're still lying about knowing where he is. You do. Tell me. I promise I won't say or do anything to harm him when I do find him. I just want to make sure he's safe."

"Should've thought about that before you went and fucked shit up," Selina said darkly.

"Selina, I will only ask nicely one more time," Jonathan said. "Where. Is. Edward."

Selina eyed the man in front of her and quickly assessed whether or not if she should tell him where Edward was. There was genuine concern in Jon's eyes as well as worry. She also knew that Jon would not leave until he'd gotten an answer and while normally Selina could wait such behavior out, her greater concern was for Edward. If she was engaged in a stupid dominance battle with Jon, Edward had no one to make sure he was ok after he was done with whatever self destructive binge he was currently on.

"Fine." Selina relented. "But I'm only telling you because I'm worried about Edward, I don't care about anything else, much less how you feel."

"Fine by me," Jonathan said with a shrug. "So?"

Selina told him the address and Jonathan gave a quick nod and a short word of thanks before leaving. Selina shut the door and leaned against it, giving a short prayer that things would go smoothly.

Jonathan eyed the building he was approaching with disgust. It was shabby and barely looked like it was holding up. How on earth had Edward discovered a place like this? He stalked up to the door steeling himself to enter before the door fling itself open and Edward came stumbling out.

Jonathan was quick to grab him before he face planted and he screwed his nose up at the stench of alcohol and sex that clung to the man in his arms.

Edward made a sound of protest and wiggled out of Jonathan's grip, a slurred apology falling from his mouth as he realized who he'd ran into.

"Jonathan!" Edward glared at the other man and took a drunken swing of which Jonathan was able to easily side step.

"Edward darling," Jonathan tried to soothe as he continued to side step Edward's attempted swings.

"Don't 'darling' me," Edward scowled as he took a step forward but misjudged his foot placement and ended up tripping.

Acting on reflex, Jonathan caught Edward and wrapped his arms around the genius that was now struggling to break out of his grip.

"Edward, listen to me," Jonathan said quietly. "I wanted to apologize for what I had said. I was not aware that such things held actual meaning to you as we've been moderately happy with how things had been for the past two years. It was my mistake."

Edward paused in his struggles and peered up at Jonathan's face. Even in his drunken state, he was aware enough to where he knew Jonathan was being sincere.

"Reeaaalllllyyyy?" Edward slurred, still not completely convinced.

"Yes, really," Jonathan said. "Now then, why don't we make it back to our apartment so that I can put you to bed and make you something that'll help with the unavoidable hangover you'll have tomorrow?"

"Can't walk..." Edward muttered, all too happy to be slumped against Jonathan's body. Perhaps he was too quick to accept Jonathan's apology, but he was drunk after all, and apologies were few and far between where Jonathan was involved so even hearing one was enough for even Edward's currently inhibited mind to realize Jonathan was genuinely sorry for his actions.

"Don't worry my dear," Jonathan smirked as he picked Edward up bridal style. Edward yelped and wrapped his arms around Jonathan's neck, causing the taller man to chuckle softly.

"Don't worry, I won't drop you," Jonathan said. "In fact, I don't think I'll be letting go of you for a long while..."

He started to make his way to their shared apartment which he realized wasn't too far away from where they currently where. Interesting, he'd have to make note of it if Edward ever ended up running off to sulk again. Speaking of which... perhaps once he settled Edward into bed he'd pay a visit to whom ever had slept with his partner and touched what was his.

He busied himself with the thoughts of what he'd do to them as Edward let out a snore, completely passed out.

"As expected," Jonathan sighed quietly.

He passed under a half open window, the music drifting down to the street below.

I'm wondering why do all the monsters come out at night? Why do we sleep where we want to hide? Why do I run back to you, like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?

#enigmatic fear oc #enigmatic fear writing #scriddler #scarecrow #riddler #jonathan crane #edward nigma #edward nygma #scarecrow x riddler #cranigma #riddlecrow #vent fic #wattpad #archive of our own #monsters #monsters all time low

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writingfromkitchenator · 4 years

Text

Dwalin ~ Another One Bites the Dust

800 Followers Challenge!

Requested by @sunnysidesidra (I hate it when the tags don’t work, is everything okay?)

Based on Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

Words: 2,118

Warnings: Slight angst, dangerous situation

A part of Dwalin had hoped that, as he got older, he wouldn’t have to worry about chasing after troublemakers anymore. It was a dream, he knew that, after all, his loyalty lied with Thorin and besides Thorin himself, his two nephews were always in some sort of trouble.

But a dwarf can dream.

He knew as soon as he saw you, that his life was going to be wrought by misery from it, because he knew that you were his, and he knew that trouble clearly followed you everywhere.

Bilbo’s cousin, a “Took” as he put it, eyes practically sparking with mischief as you watched him enter Bilbo’s home, a look that only seemed to increase the more dwarves that arrived, and Dwalin couldn’t help but sigh to himself.

You were the reason that Bilbo ultimately joined the quest and, at the same time, managed to invite yourself along. Two hobbits were better than one, you said.

Dwalin suddenly found himself keeping a close eye on you, who, which he had really hoped wouldn’t happen, was drawn to Fili and Kili, the three of you getting along swimmingly, all the other dwarves weary when you’d sit and talk in hushed voices. In watching the friendship grow as the journey went on it’s way, he also learned that, along with trouble making, you weren’t afraid to get your hands dirty.

Which is why he was furious you went into the cave on your own.

Most nights, you, Fili and Kili, went and explored the surrounding area, mostly to make sure it was safe, but all the others knew that it was easier not having the three of you around, knowing the chaos that the three of you could bring. On this particular night, the three of you encountered a cave.

The two young dwarves didn’t want to go in, but you, quickly stealing one of Fili’s knives, had no such qualms, striding in even as the two of them called back after you.

The roar from the cave, quickly had Kili running back to the others, leaving Fili anxiously on guards.

Kili burst into the camp, everyone instantly on edge. “I dunno what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is.”

Once they got him to slow down and explain, Dwalin was the first to start moving, grumbling as he did, much to the amusement of some of them, knowing how he felt about you.

Dwalin even stormed past Fili as he spluttered at the mouth of the cave, trying to stop him and let everyone regathered, but Dwalin only had one track of mind.

Getting you out of there.

His grip was firm on his axe as he marched in, his teeth gritted, body tensing for whatever battle he was about to face.

The beasts growl rumbled through the cave and Dwalin squinted a little, trying to see it up ahead in the darkness, trying to push the worry of you into the back of his mind.

As he got closer, he could make out a small shape in the darkness, one he didn't recognise at first until he heard a very hurried ‘shhhh!’.

He pauses and blinks a few times, you slowly coming into view, gaze straight ahead, waving back at him to be quiet.

Dwalin slowed his footfall, but doesn't stop until he reaches you, joining you in a crouch as you look deeper in the cave. “What are you doing Y/N?”

“Watching,” You whispered back. “I'm alright before you ask.”

Dwalin fought the urge to grab you and drag you back to safety. “It's not safe in here Y/N.”

“Oh pish posh,” You smile at him, patting his arm as you start to move forward. “If there was any real danger, I wouldn't be in here.”

Dwalin did reach for you this time, only to discover that you were already out if reach. “Y/N, you don't know what's down there!”

“I know, that's why I want to see.”

He growls and follows, not wanting to leave you on your own as another rumble echoes through the cave. “Why can’t people just listen to me for once?”

You just smile, remaining silent as you creep further in, your hobbit feet naturally soft on the ground, keeping a keen eye moving to see what was making the noise, your grip firm on the dagger in your hand.

The growl was louder this time, sending a thrill down your spine, the Tookish curiosity getting the best of you as you continued slowly but steadily forward, eyes strained to see what was making the noise.

“Y/N!” Dwalin hissed through the dark. “This isn’t worth it! We’re on enough of a dangerous journey as it is!”

You froze, your eyes finally adjusting the make out the large shape filling a good portion of the cave, the fur unmistakable, as well as the grumbling growl that was much too close for comfort.

Dwalin was there, his hand locking around your arm like a vice, his voice right by your ear. “I told you, we need to go.”

A large, luminous, yellow eye opened in the dark, making you both freeze as the large form stirred, rising slowly from its place.

“Uh oh.”

The bear roared and before you even had a chance to react, Dwalin and grabbed you around the waist, picking you up and turning on his heel to run.

“Dwalin!” You squeaked, helpless. “Wait!”

But Dwalin wasn’t listening, charging from the cave and into the stunned group of dwarves outside, dropping you a little unceremoniously before he turned back towards the mouth of the cave, axe ready in hand.

The others all were ready, all watching as the growls followed from the cave, footfalls hurrying forward.

The bear came forward, sniffing at the air, eyeing the crowd of dwarves nervously and as it came a little more into the light, they all saw that it was only a young bear, still rather small compared to what an adult was.

“If you’d stopped and listened to me,” You said a little sarcastically. “I could’ve told you that he was only a small fella.”

“Doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous.” Thorin said hotly as none of them moved from their defensive positions.

“I didn’t say he wasn’t,” You said, pushing through a couple of them. “But it also means that he’s less likely to attack.”

Sure enough, as soon as you said it, the bear made a noise and quickly slunk back into the darkness of the cave, leaving only a tense air behind.

“See.” You said with a sigh. “Honestly, not everything has to be bad all the time.”

Dwalin rounds on you. “And not everything is as nice as your little hobbit hole.”

You raised an eyebrow at him as there a few worried glances at Dwalin. “I realise that.”

“You could have died in there.” He marched forward, towering over you. “And if Fili and Kili weren’t there, we would never have known!”

“Well, I'd like to think at least one of you would've noticed I was missing.” You said calmly, although there was no missing the hint of a smile tugging at your lips. “And despite what you think, I am aware of the dangers of the wild, I explored the forest around Buckland enough and trust me, there are dangers in there that you could only dream of Mister Dwalin.”

It was Bilbo that interrupted the stunned silence that followed, in which Dwalin stared at you, debating with himself on how to answer. “Y/N...have you still been looking? After all this time?”

Your gaze turns slightly sad, making Dwalin's chest ache as you turned to Bilbo. “Less so in recent years, but yes Bilbo, I have.”

“That's why you joined the quest, wasn't it?” He asked quietly.

You give half a smile and seemed to become aware of the rest of the company watching you, shrugging it off. “Well, I think at any rate that's enough excitement for one day. Shall we return to camp?”

Not waiting for a response, you head back in the direction of camp, the dwarves shifting a little anxiously, Dwalin's gaze on your back.

“What happened Bilbo?” He asked as the hobbit went to follow.

Bilbo sighed, a little sadly. “Her brother went into those woods, just out of his tweens, and never came back. She shrugs it off most of the time, but it still weighs heavily on her.”

No one said anything on the way back to camp and there was an odd silence as they all ate and settled in for sleep that night.

You'd offered to take watch, not feeling tired, sitting a little bit away and staring out at the lands around you.

You started a little as a weight rests on your shoulders, only to look up and find Dwalin resting a blanket around you.

“It's a cool night lass,” He said quietly, pulling his hands away. “Don't need you catching a cold.”

He goes to walk away, but you suddenly found you could use the company. “Dwalin?”

If you didn't know any better, he swallowed as he stopped, glancing back.

“Can you stay?” You asked quietly. “Please?”

Dwalin nods and, perhaps a little awkwardly, sits next to you, leaving a little space but not wanting to meet your eye.

The silence dragged on for a moment.

“I'm sorry.” You said quietly, drawing his gaze finally, although you kept your eyes facing forward. “For earlier.”

Dwalin opened his mouth to reply, sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I am sorry too, it was not my intention to get angry at you, I was just...” He trailed off, not wanting to say too much.

“Worried.” You finished for him with a soft smile. “I know.”

Again, a silence passes between the two of you, Dwalin realising that he was not made for this sort of stuff.

“He was only a year older than me, you know,” You said quietly, a hint of sadness in your voice. “He and his friends decided to go explore beyond the borders. His friends came back, a little pale and worried because they'd lost him in the woods, but were sure he'd come back, as the days went on, it was clear he wasn't coming back, and it didn't matter how far we dared go, there was no sign of him.”

Now, he knew he had to be. “I'm sorry Y/N.”

“It's been twelve years you know,” You continued, pulling the blanket a little tighter around you. “And still I would go out into that forest, just for any sort of answer, I guess I'm now here, partly because maybe he got further, he always did want an adventure, and partly to also escape. It's hard when you're family wants you to go on with your life, to settle, think about home and children, and yet you know you can't do that, that your heart is calling you elsewhere.”

Dwalin's heart thudded a little louder in his chest, but he quickly shook his head. “Sometimes you hobbits really are too peaceful for your own good.”

This made you smile and finally look at him. “I know, it's infuriating, isn't it?” You give a soft laugh, shaking your head. “It made me a bit of an outcast really, wondering the wilds as I did, ignoring the advice of the elders, maybe that's why I spent so much time with Bilbo, he was less obvious about it, but I knew he felt the pull beyond the borders too.”

Another silence fell as Dwalin debated what to say to this, in his heart, he knew the answer, but saying it out loud was something else entirely, he didn't like to think of himself as someone who wore his heart on his sleeve.

Suddenly, before he could say anything, your hand was resting on his, your smile genuine as he stared at you, stunned. “It's okay, I'm sure I can talk enough for the both of us.”

Dwalin returned your smile, feeling himself relax, finally, and he can't help but open up his arm. “Come here Y/N.”

You smile and move closer, snuggling into his side, but not before pecking his cheek in a small kiss, making heat creep up his neck as he rested an arm around you.

“If you want,” He said after a little while. “When this is over, I can come and help you look for your brother.”

You sigh, content for the first time in a long time. “Thank you Dwalin. You don't need to do that.”

He pulls you just a little hit closer. “I do, more than you could ever know.”

#the hobbit #dwalin #dwalin x reader #hobbit!reader #short #drabble #800 followers challenge #mild angst

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spootiliousrps · 5 years

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Denial (Ineffable Husbands)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like ineffable husbands.

Stranger: “Oh, Crowley, what a wonderful surprise! We’ve just been talking about you!” Aziraphale chirped, almost proudly, as soon as Crowley had set foot into the bookshop, taking him and several human customers that were in the store by surprise, but before he had time to open his mouth Aziraphale had hugged his arm and kissed his cheek, smiling cheerfully and even smugly, at another person in the room who’d seemingly just come out after Aziraphale from the backroom. “Oh, I don’t think you’ve met before!” Aziraphale let out in mock surprise. “Crolwey, this is Mr. Chiel, one of my business colleagues. Mr. Chiel, this is Anthony J. Crowley, my boyfriend.” he said with a cheerful smile. “Well, Mr. Chiel, as much as I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this chat of ours, I’m afraid you’ll have to leave now. I don’t like having him wait.” he said, smiling a wide smile that obviously wasn’t meant to be apologetic nor good-natured. Mr. Chiel returned an even faker smile, his eyes never having left Crowley since the other walked into the store. “…Mr. Crowley. Glad to finally meet you.” he said with a small sneer and then glared at Aziraphale. “..We’re not finished with the conversation. I’ll be back tomorrow when you’re-“ he threw a dirty look at Crowley, “-less occupied.” The customers in the store were watching this unexpected drama of Mr. Fell’s unfold before their eyes in what they thought was a discreet manner.

You: [reading]

Stranger: ((Thanks!))

You: [Oh Hey! We've rp'd before! I still have the log if you're interested in continuing]

Stranger: ((Oh, well, I'm not sure if it's me, but sure!))

You: Crowley sauntered into the shop as if he owned the place, just as he always had. It wasn’t until Aziraphale’s unusual tone that his pace faltered, the Angel moving to his side and practically wrapping himself around the Demon. Naturally, their friendship had developed over the six thousand years they’d known each other, to the point that Crowley knew immediately something was up. He did his best, however, to hide how the small kiss heated him, his shaded gaze moving to the human man. A foul taste came to his mouth at the feeling of the man, at the way Aziraphale forced a smile towards him. It didn’t take more than a second for Crowley to get the picture, an arm wrapping around the Angel’s waste and pulling him closer. “I’m ssssure.” Crowley replied simply, hissing a bit in his defensive state as he eyed the man. “I, wouldn’t bother, Mr. Chiel.” He warned in a harsh whisper that only the three of them could hear as he passed, gaze still ominous and threatening.

Stranger: Chiel glared at the demon after the harsh whisper, making a face as he did. "I don't think you really have a say in it, Mr...Crawly." he said and then tilted his head a bit to the side, regarding him. "This is between Aziraphale and me, and I'm pretty sure he could do without any further...manipulation." he said coolly and then looked over at Aziraphale whose face was heating up, a quite rare frown present on his features. "Mr. Chiel-!" he started and then was reminded that they were in the middle of his shop, with people present and threw a quick glance around. "..There is no need to be /rude/!" he huffed.

You: Crowley had already made a quick move towards the man as if he were going to strike him (though it would have been far worse than that), when Aziraphale's tone caught him mid step. He didn't bother glancing at the Angel, knowing full well that he would be in an upset state. Instead he kept his hellfire gaze on the man before him (not that it could be seen behind his glasses). "Maybe itsss not." He admitted, voice still low. "But if I find you bothering my Angel again... You'll only wissssh I had brought Hell Fire down upon you." He growled, elongated fangs flashing only briefly as he practically snarled at the man.

Stranger: Barachiel rolled his eyes at that and folded his arms over his chest, mustering up his best bored look to shoot over at Crowley, but his shoulders did tense up at the mention of Hellfire and the very close proximity the demon was currently in. He...wouldn't dare doing anything rash while the humans were present, now, would he? Chiel set his jaw and then huffed. "You don't scare me, snake." he said. "And I'm not bothering Aziraphale, I'm /helping/. Besides, could you drop the act already? It's been far too long for you to still be acting like this. Azira may have fallen for it, but I have not and will not." he said with a frown. "Now do step aside and be reminded of your place." he said, eyes flashing gold for a moment as he glared at him challengingly. "That's enough!" Aziraphale snapped. "Leave. Now." he said, which was a first for him, and looked quite angry. Chiel was startled by that as well as the people in the shop and then sneered. "Huh. You know I'm right. I know, it is upsetting, but you'll come round to it." "Out!" Aziraphale let out again and with one last glare at Crowley the angel was indeed out.

You: "My place is here by his side you pathet-" Crowley began before Aziraphale's order had his jaw snapping shut. He didn't care about the on-lookers, about making a scene. He didn't care about any of it. If he had his say he'd smite the Angel here and now. What he /did/ care about, however, was Aziraphale. He knew the Angel would be upset, perhaps even angry with him if he killed 'Mr. Chiel'. So, he refrained. When the man was finally out of sight, Crowley seemed to relax a bit though his scowl was still in place. "You should have let me smite him, angel... It would be a good deed really." He mumbled softly.

Stranger: Aziraphale huffed and then looked over at Crowley, sighing as his shoulders slumped. "Oh, Crowley.. I am ever so sorry. If it were at a different time and place-" he started and then sighed again, shaking his head as he reached for the other's hand, looking quite upset still. He then turned around, a weak smile on his face. "Ehem- Excuse me? Excuse me! May I have your attention, please? I do apologize greatly, but I'm afraid the shop will be closing earlier today, so I would kindly ask all of you to come back tomorrow." he said and there was a chatter of 'of course's and 'certainly's as the humans left the shop.

You: Crowley's frown turned form one of annoyance and even anger to worry, in an instant. Aziraphale was more upset than the Demon had seen him and quite some time and he didn't like it. "Angel..." He whispered softly as everyone began to shuffle out the door. He stepped closer, obviously worried about his friend, only glancing up when the last person was out the door, giving a flick of his wrist to close and lock it behind them. "What happened?" He asked, attention returning to him. "What did he say? Are they going to force you back into Heaven? Surely they can't do that."

Stranger: Aziraphale let go of his hand and then slumped down into the nearby chair, looking down at the floor. "Oh, they can't really..but that doesn't mean they won't try." he said. "The thing is, they want me to be re-educated." he let out, the word said with a mix of humiliation and resentment. "They think this is all just because I've been away from the light of Heaven for too long."

You: "Re-educated?!" Crowley scoffed. "Well, that's very /human/ of them!" He added with a shake of his head. "It sounds like that idiots that would send their kids off to be 're-educated' because they were gay. Most of them either committed suicide or wish they had! I should know! I guided a lot of them to Hell! Pathetic!" He spat moving to plop down onto the sofa across from him. "If you ask me, Heaven needs to be re-educated." He paused before shrugging. "And why they're at it they should just hand over the keys to you. You're the only one with half a brain up there anyways."

Stranger: The angel winced at that, looking up at Crowley to see him plop down onto the sofa. "Yes, I've noticed it's quite...hypocritical of them." he said. It was still weird, calling angels 'them' and Heaven 'them', but that was how it was, and maybe it would have been for the best if Aziraphale had figured it out long ago. He chuckled at Crowley's idea of Heaven needing to be 're-educated'. "I can't really disagree. Though it's not like I'm amandmant that I'm in the right either." he said with a small shrug of his shoulders. "I don't think I'd do a very good job at being in charge of Heaven. Not in the slightest." he admitted.

You: Crowley seemed to consider it for a moment. "I dunno about that." He finally offered. "I mean, Michael and Gabriel are doing a pretty shit job up there. How hard could it be? If Heaven is suppose to be ruled by love and kindness, they've made a right mess of things. You seem to have enough in a single pinky finger to supply the world for another century. They could definitely learn a few things from you." He teased lightly.

Stranger: Blinking a few times at the unexpected round of compliments, the angel smiled, batting his hand at the demon. "Oh, Crowley..it's not really like that." he said and then shifted a bit in his seat. "I mean, I definitely do have a few complaints..but, well. I don't think I'd really..want that. I'm quite happy here. On Earth." he said, blushing a bit as he spoke. "I think..I quite like humans as they are."

You: "Good." Crowley replied a bit too quickly. "Because I quite like you here." He admitted with a shrug. "It'd be pretty damn boring being the only immortal worth talking to; and I certainly can't talk to myself for the rest of time." He paused as if considering it. "Well... I /could/ but it'd get kinda tiresome after a while. I can be insufferable at times, you know."

Stranger: Aziraphale chuckled at that, smiling over at his dear old serpent. "Yes, I am very well aware." he teased with a proud little smile and then looked over through the shop window. "...They're going to send another angel down here, you know." he said after a bit, playing with his fingers.

You: "Maybe by then they'll figure out how idiotic they're being." He offered. "Instead of 'Shame on you Aziraphale'. It will be 'Please Aziraphale, Please forgive us for our stupidity. Here have the keys to Heaven... The throne too!" Crowley teased before falling silent for a moment and giving a sigh. "Nah... I suppose that is a bit far fetched." He shrugged.

Stranger: Aziraphale chuckled at that as well. He wondered if Crowley was purposely trying to make him laugh. Probably. It was his way of cheering him up. So very kind, as always. "There's no throne in Heaven, my dear. Well, at least not anymore." he spoke and then continued playing with his fingers. "Do you think you'd have been friends with another angel if they'd come down here instead of me?" he asked.

You: "Pfft." Crowley snorted at the question as if it were the most absurd thing he had ever heard. "Angels are stiff necked bureaucrats that use 'God's' message for their own gain. Most Angels would have slaughtered any mortal thing that came near them if they knew Mummy Dearest wasn't watching." He grumbled. "No offense of course." He added as an after thought. "You're different though. I knew that even before the Apple."

Stranger: Aziraphale frowned a bit at that. "Well...not /all/ angels are like that.." he let out. "I mean, if they'd been down here for as long as I have, I'm sure that they've grown to like Earth as well. And well, you offered the Arrangement as a business deal. I'm sure you'd have offered it to them as well. It is probable that you'd have ended up as friends." he reasoned and then looked over at Crowley in surprise. "Before the Apple..? You knew me before Eden?" he asked, eyes widening. Crowley never really liked to talk about anything that was before Eden, or even worse, before the Fall, and Aziraphale knew not to push, but he had always been very curious about Crowley's life before the Fall.

You: Crowley seemed to tense at the question, obviously a bit weary as to where it could lead. "Perhaps, not /that/ far back." He offered, making sure he didn't exactly lie and say no. "/In/ Eden." He clarified. "Before I tempted Eve. I spent a lot of time among the animals there, you know. I had to... Recon and all that." He explained with a shrug, getting a bit more comfortable on the cushions. "When I first arrived, I watched all the Angels... Watched how they interacted with things. West was alright... She, didn't care for the creatures, I think she was disgusted by them but she never harmed any of them if they got to close. North though..." He tisked and shook his head. "Anything got to close to him and it simply ceased to exist. And South just ignored it all, way too indifferent if you ask me." He shrugged. "You though..." He voice turned a bit warmer as he rested his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, a small amused smile playing on his lips. "I remember you watching this turtle scuttle slowly across your path... And you just... Waited." He chuckled. "Just stood there, waiting for it to get to its destination. You even excused yourself!" He laughed. "Or the time when that Gecko crawled into your robes and you gave it a lecture on inappropriateness." He mused. "No... You weren't like the others."

Stranger: Aziraphale listened to the other and as he did, his face was heating up more and more. He didn't know. Really, he had no idea that Crowley had been watching him before they'd met. And now, all kinds of emotions crashed over him at once as he listened to the other's retelling. "O-oh, how embarrassing.." he let out. "I-I on my part never knew the snake was..well, more than a snake. I was quite startled when you first appeared next to me!" he admitted and then hid his face in his hands. "Oh, dear. Is that why you decided to talk to me?"

You: The reaction had another chuckle escaping him as Aziraphale's embarrassment worsened. "Well, not the only one but it was part of it, yeah." He admitted. "You had me curious. I had never met an Angel like you before." He added with a shrug. "I don't think you've ever considered yourself above anyone or anything else. It was pretty... Refreshing." He sighed. "So to answer your question again. No, angel. I don't think I could have been friends with a different Angel if they were the one assigned to Earth."

Stranger: Aziraphale smiled over at him and then had to look away again, embarrassed. Crowley's words were warming up his heart, really. But they were also reminding him of what the angel had said and the pressing elephant in the room was growing even more. And the ironical thing was that it might after all be only him that saw it, but this visit from Heaven only seemed to push him even more. It had to be discussed at some point, apparently. So Aziraphale steeled himself and took a deep breath but the voice that came out wasn't exactly as strong and confident as he would have liked it to have been. And he wasn't even looking at Crowley. "Are we...just friends, however?" he let out.

You: Crowley's smile vanished in an instant. The question sent a wave of panic though him that not Satan nor God could spur on their own. Was Aziraphale really asking what he thought he was? Were they really going to do this now? Here? And if so, what was he suppose to say? What did the Angel want? Did it really matter? Yes of course it did but... What about the consequences? Crowley had /fallen/ he knew a thing or two about consequences... Knew to look for them always. "What are you asking, angel?" He asked, trying to bide some time.

Stranger: Aziraphale scratched his cheek and then licked his lips nervously. "Well, uh.." he let out and then frowned at the demon, flustrated. "Oh, why did you have to answer with a question?" he let out and then sighed. "What I meant is..well. What are friends, really?" he let out. Oh, dear. "I mean - are we talking in human terms? Friendship?"

You: Crowley sat up, brows furrowing in confusion as Aziraphale began to ramble. "Angel... Are you... feeling alright?" He asked, sounding a bit concerned. "You're not making any sense." He sighed, leaning his elbows on his knees as he studied the other man.

Stranger: Aziraphale's lips pressed together as his face exploded in red even more. Why now, of all times, was Crowley not working with him and taking the lead? Could he not see the quite obvious 'help me' sign Aziraphale was sending. "I'm fine!" he let out. "It's just that - well, you weren't startled back then when I had called you my b-boyfriend, now, were you? T-that is, m-my point is, all the humans really see us as that!"

You: "And that..... Bothers you?" Crowley asked, playing dense. He knew it could be seen as cruel but he was just trying to protect himself... protect Aziraphale. If the Angel was wanting more what could he do? If Crowley told him he felt the same then they could pursue a more romantic relationship and Aziraphale would fall. Crowley would not allow that. However, if he refused then he would lose his one and only friend. He would lose Aziraphale... and while he had never wanted anything more than to be with the Angel he was not willing to destroy him to do it.

Stranger: "N-no! No, it doesn't bother me at all! Quite the opposite, my dear fellow!" Aziraphale let out and then tucked his hair behind his ear. "What I mean to say is..I do care for you dearly. And in a human sense of speaking, a lot more than just friends." he smiled shyly up at him. "That is to say, I-eh..I really would like it if you were my..w-well, my l-lover." he said finally, heart fluttering in his chest. "For real. I mean, I have been thinking it for quite some time."

You: Crowley's heart skipped a beat at the word, breath hitching slightly. He had never expected Aziraphale to put it quite like that. It was something straight out of a corny romance novel. It made it sound as if Crowley really had tempted him. Still, he couldn't allow it and the pain of that knowledge shattered his very core. He hesitated, silence falling between them as he searched desperately for something to say... anything that would bridge the impossible gap. "I..." He began before huffing and trying again. "I think... that I should go." He mumbled, averting his gaze as shame washed through him.

Stranger: A few moments of silence ticked by and Aziraphale was trying to convince himself that it was just Crowley being shocked. Astonished. Yeah, that's it. Definitely not searching for words. However, as he heard the other's words, his smile and face completely fell. "...C-crowley?" he let out, gulping. "Are you- what do you mean?"

You: The pain that filled him doubled with every word Aziraphale spoke. His tone was so anguished, so confused that it cut him to his very core. “I just…” He began, wanting to comfort the Angel… NEEDING it. But he caught himself, jaw tightening against the urge; grateful, not for the first time, that the dark lenses of his glasses hid the fact that he was so near breaking. “I need to go. Give you some space. Let you really think about this….” He explained, moving to stand.

Stranger: Aziraphale blinked at that and then frowned at the explanation. "O-oh, don't be ridiculous!" he huffed, a bit offended. "I have thought about this quite a lot! Oh, I did have my worries, but after the Armageddon, everything did fall quite softly into place." he said and then reached out to take his arms as he halted the other from standing up. "Crowley..what's wrong?"

You: "Nothing is wrong, angel." He reassured, moving to pull gently from the other's hold. "I just... Perhaps you haven't /really/ considered this... Perhaps /I/ hadn't." He offered, barely managing to keep from flinching at his own words. That was it. He was ruining his friendship... Aziraphale would never want to speak with him again.

Stranger: The angel gulped and then looked at him imploringly. "Well...talk to me, then? I mean. I am here. Let's-let's discuss this, then." he spoke, his heart hammering in his chest. "Because I really had considered this. And well, since you...haven't, I guess it's best we talk about this."

You: That look... Crowley hated when he gave him that look. The way it was practically pleading and rubbed him in all the right places. Aziraphale could get practically anything he wanted from the Demon when he looked at him like that. He grimaced, trying to fight the invisible hold the Angel had on his heart and failing. "I'm not sure what there is to talk about, angel." He tried, obviously attempting to side step the conversation.

Stranger: "W-well, tell me then! Do you not feel that way?" the angel pleaded. "If you..really feel for me just as a friend, I-I will understand." he said and then smiled weakly. "Oh dear, I do not mean to push anything on you!"

You: Crowley’s heart, as small as it was, could have broken in that moment with that look. How did Aziraphale have so much control over him? How did he effect him so? Of course he felt that way about him. Every fiber of his being had screamed for this moment every time they were within a hundred miles of each other. He honestly was surprised the Angel hadn’t felt it. What was he suppose to say? "Really, Aziraphale... I think it might be best..." He mumbled before hesitating, scrubbing a hand down his face in frustration. He couldn't answer. He just couldn't. "I'm sure you've had a long day and you should rest."

Stranger: "..Crowley." Aziraphale said, his voice stern this time as he looked at the demon with a resigned expression. "Just...just tell me. Don't make me wait, please. Going just by the way you feel right now, I'm sure you already have your answer." he spoke, his lips pressing together. "It's alright. Nothing will change, really. But I must know."

You: "What does it matter, Aziraphale?!" Crowley snapped, unable to keep his angry at himself in control. "Just by asking that question it /has/ changed." He pointed out. "Whether I do or not everything is ruined! I can't fix it!" He pushed to his feet, obviously annoyed though it wasn't at the Angel despite his tone. "I'm doomed either way."

Stranger: The angel hadn't been expecting that and he flinched, jumping a bit at Crowley's sudden outburst. His eyes widened as he looked up at the demon, unsure for a moment before speaking. "..Nothing really is, my dear. It isn't like I"ll be changing the way I act towards you, as I have loved you for quite some time now." he spoke calmly. "And as for you, I do not expect anything more than you've already given me. It is simple as that." he spoke and then looked up at him sadly. "There isn't anything to fix...what do you think is ruined?"

You: Crowley wanted to rip his hair out. Why did the Angel have to be so understanding?! So, neive! Crowley had loved him for so long… As long as he could remember but… He’d always kept his distance made sure Aziraphale didn’t get the wrong idea. He was so afraid of… Well, of causing the Angel to fall. He couldn’t let that happen. Heaven was far too important to his angel… He would never listen to him. “Do you hear yourself? You talking about falling in love with a Demon… A creature incapable of returning those feelings.” He lied. “Its just… so… /ignorant/.” The words made his hatred for himself worsen even now. How could he have ever even entertained the idea that he could ever be good enough for the Angel when he would stoop to this level?

Stranger: Aziraphale looked a bit hurt at that but also very sad. "..Don't talk like that." he let out then. "You're so much more. You're my dearest friend. Demons are not supposed to make friends, or care, or save angels, and yet here you are. Here we are. Didn't you say it yourself? We're on our own side." he said. "And I do not need for you to love me the same as I do you. I didn't fall in love with you just to have it returned." he said, smiling. "Oh, my dear, do not worry about me. My love for you really is pure. Not even God herself minds. And you really shouldn't either."

You: "What?" Crowley breathed, unable to stop himself as God's name was mentioned, catching his attention. He paused to collect his composure a moment before clarifying. "What do you mean 'Not even God, herself, minds'? When have you spoken to God?" He pressed, brows furrowing once more.

#Ineffable Husbands #ineffable boyfriends #good omens #omegle #rp #roleplay #crowleyxaziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale/crowley #crowley/aziraphale

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werevulvi · 5 years

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These pics are just to show my dented ribs, cause like... suffer with me? Also cause I feel strangely alright with what my chest looks like in these pics. But anyhow. On left pic I'm pointing at the centre where it goes in and then pops out again on both sides of the sternum/breastbone. And yes, that's my bone bending like that, not just fat or muscles. Likely from having pushed my breasts towards the centre in binders and sports bras. On the right pic I'm pointing at the big dent on the lower left side of my ribcage, which is right where the sports bra elastic goes. My lowest ribs then curve out much farther than they do on the other side. Putting pressure on either of those dented areas hurts a bit.

(The bump above my nipple on the right pic is literally just my pec muscle, so no need to worry about that one.) And yes I'm sucking in my stomach here only so that you can see my ribs better, I don’t normally do for photos. I've sure gotten hairy again since I stopped shaving my body, and I like the soft fluff! It’s dark brown, almost black, irl. Which is quite a contrast to my ivory skin. And yes my happy trail does connect with my chest hair, which almost connects with my beard but not quite. Those little tufts just above the scars on my chest are my actual nipple hairs, or used to be before the nips were relocated during top surgery. They're weirdly misplaced little hairs now, but that's why they're there. And yeah, 5 years post-op but the scars never became white. But let's get onto the topic. I've come across a new doubt about my wish to have breast reconstruction, which I'm already looking into and not brushing under any carpets. I do want to make as sure as I possibly can that I make the right decision about my chest this time, so I'm tackling every doubt I get about it. And that new doubts keep popping up from time to time, worries me too. Even though I sorted through all the previous ones. So what's it this time? Since I've started going flat in public a couple weeks ago or something (I think the last time I went out with boobs on was June 6th or around that date) I've noticed I seem to be less likely to be assumed to be a trans woman, and instead seen as just a gnc man. And strangely that actually feels better, mentally. It's still very far from ideal, but I feel it's the slightly better of the two evils.

What would be ideal? In a perfect (and highly unrealistic) world: I'd love it if people would just know I'm a female who's taken testosterone and/or see I'm a masculinised woman even if they can't figure out, or know, how. And without me having to change my body at all. But that is not how reality works and I know that people won't perceive me that way just because I want for them to.

So, without changing my body again I'm basically stuck having to choose between being perceived as either a "cis" man or a trans woman, depending on my presentation and style. (Cause apparently we are assuming "gender identity" and not just bio sex, these days.) Of course I don't have 100% control over which one of those I'll be read as, but I've come to notice that people do seem to be much more likely to "trans me" when I'm wearing my breast forms cause that is adding a female (not just feminine) trait to my otherwise male appearance... and they seem to be much more likely to think I'm simply a man (albeit gnc) when I go flat but still keep a feminine style. However, some still read me as a gnc man with boobs and some still read me as a trans woman without them.

Exactly why I seem to prefer being read as a whole ass man rather than as a trans woman, is complicated and not entirely nice, but basically this: Both trans women and "cis" men are bio male, and it's the assumption that I'm bio male that rubs me backwards, at the core of it.

However, being assumed to be a trans woman adds another layer to it. It makes me feel like people shove the gender ideology down my throat that is hard to wiggle myself out of, and it makes me feel like I'm perceived as a "fake" woman and a "fake" lesbian. A fraud, to be brutally honest. Whereas when I'm assumed to be simply a gnc man, the gender ideology is not being shoved down my throat, people don't comment on my assumed genitals, etc. But above all I'm more likely to be treated with respect, which feels hugely relieving.

But mostly what truly whacks my mind about being assumed to be MtF is that it makes me feel like I'm an imposter of an imposter. Double wrong. While when seen as a man, I merely feel like I'm simply an imposter. Plain wrong. And that, is exactly why I feel like "gnc man" is a better wrongful assumption than "trans woman" is. Cause two wrongs really don't make a right.

But regardlessly, I am not and will never be an actual man. I am an imposter, a male impersonator of modern times. But at the same time I believe I'm more authentic like this than I would be if I tried to force myself into acquiring a stereotypical "womanly" appearance. That would be a charade just as much, if not more. That was a long ramble about how I'm perceived again, but it's highly relevant to my doubt about getting breast reconstruction, just hear me out. Cause that, what I'm read as based on what's going on on my chest, was was made the doubt creep out from its shadows, just a few days ago. It has gotten me suddenly worrying I might not like it how I'd be perceived if I have permanent boobs on my chest that I wouldn't be able to hide. Cause no more binding, ever. I've fucked my ribs over enough for a lifetime. And of course, how fucking moot and dumb it would be to bind after breast reconstruction! The thing, however, is that if I actually prefer to be seen as a gnc man over being seen as a trans woman, and boobs being the tipping point between those two perceptions... that creates a thorn in my side, a doubt, a conflict even, about if breast reconstruction really is the right choice for me then.

Ever since I left my boobs at home those weeks ago, people have left me alone about my gender/sex. Out of all the 5 or 6 strangers that have come up and talked to me since then, zero have confronted me about my gender, sex or even my style. It is a relief to just be left alone about my body like that.

I'm also feeling slightly (possibly even increasingly) okay with my chest as it is. I do still regret my top surgery and I still miss having boobs, and it's definitely possible that I'm just disassociating from my chest being flat now, but... Yesterday I was even walking around in my neighbourhood wearing literally just a skirt, fem slippers, my lesbian necklace, red lipstick, and an open, flimsy tunic/cardigan. The wind grabbing it quite a lot means most of my chest showed, including nipples, and my neighbours could see it as I walked back and forth to the laundry house to clean my dirty clothes.

Is it weird? Well, I highly doubt I'd be reported for indecent exposure cause I'm at least 99% sure everyone in my neighbourhood thinks I'm male. Cause they certainly looked shocked at me when I first started going fem in my early detransition a year ago. I've only lived in this area since mid-transition, so no one here knows my history with that. Basically I can't imagine my neighbours think I'm somehow bio female, without slipping into the territory of wishful thinking. But it has gotten me thinking: when I don't shave anywhere, and don't wear boobs, knowing I can only pass as male that way... am I not technically "presenting male" then, despite being female and also so feminine in my style? I mean, up until the point I introduce myself as "Laura" that is. Also, last night I took a shower, and for the first time in... I dunno how many years, if ever... I actually enjoyed soaping and touching my chest in gentle, massaging and caressing ways. For but a glimpse of a moment, I could connect to it for probably the first time since top surgery, or ever, in a non-sexual way. It is indeed a breakthrough. It is also a hint of its possible true potential. That I could maybe at some point come to peace with it. Why do I feel so bad for regretting my transition? Cause even though I achieved a 100% passability, here I am, still dysphoric and miserable, missing the womanhood I traded away. Oh, what a fool I was. This irrevokable fate that seems like an impossible dream for the dysphoric, and I'm just pissing on it. I'm sorry, but I cannot appreciate having been transformed into a highly believable illusion of something I can never actually become and no longer want to be. I never thought it could hurt. I never knew it could hurt like this. Was I sold a lie? But back to my chest. I know getting new tits won't make me any more or less female, and it wouldn't make me pass as female either. What I'd want them for is personal comfort in the private, in both non-sexual and in sexual contexts, and vaguely also cause it would help me relate better and more positively to other women. I'm jealous of every pair of boobs I ever see, clothed or uncovered, and that hurts. But what makes me now hesitate, perhaps for real, is this new, gnawing inkling of a feeling that what if I'd miss having a flat chest? Sometimes I like the look of it, in the sense that it kinda goes with my otherwise male appearance and who doesn't/wouldn't like the feeling of a soothing breeze on their bare chest during a hot summer day? Cause it sure does feel good. Oh god, I wish I could just have the cake and eat it at the same time!

It's been 5 years since I had my top surgery, but did I ever truly try to make amends with it, before my detransition? No, I didn't. What I did was trying to force myself to like the result of it, and that's not a successful approach. Just like I didn't exactly manage to like being a woman when I during my teens tried to force myself to become fine with my female body after I had figured out I was likely a trans guy at age 15, and up until the point I said "fuck it" and began my social (and eventually medical) transition at age 19. During those 4 years my dysphoria only worsened, and I think my rabid attempt to force myself to like being female was part of why it only got worse. Forcing self-love is not the way to achieve it. It won't work. Just like you can't beat depression out of yourself, or any other issue, you can't beat dysphoria out of yourself either. That kind of force is actually more likely to make it worse instead, I believe. Cause it'll just strengthen your belief that it won't work. However, to gently and with compassion for yourself and your struggle try out different things, over a longer time and with lots of patience, to slowly accept and come to terms with it can lead to the dysphoria disappearing. To not punish yourself for still being dysphoric or for not "succeeding", but rather reward yourself for even just trying and for every little thing that may improve on the way. At least that's how I managed to accept and embrace being female in my late 20's despite having failed so miserably at it during my teens, because this time I didn't force it. I killed that dysphoria with kindness, quite literally.

Likewise, I think there is a chance I could come to accept and embrace my flat chest if I just stopped forcing myself to, and tried it with gentle self-care and curiosity, without pressure to achieve anything. If only I just want to and can be prepared to give myself that kind of care and patience, one more fucking time. Cause I've only got one body and I'm so fucking painfully aware of it now. I can't fuck it up again. Detransitioning requires so much more soul-searching and scrambling around in my brain for answers, self-care and patience, etc, than transitioning ever did. Well... that's why I ended up detransitioning, I think. Cause I didn't do a good job at truly looking into myself the first time around. Would I still have wanted to go on T if I had known everything I know now, though? Oh absolutely, but that's not the topic of today.

But whether I'll in the long run wanna live as a male-presenting woman incognito or later on down the road change my body in some way, I can't know for sure at this point. Perhaps I'm just not mentally ready yet to take that kind of leap. Or perhaps I don't ever want to present fully female again and may end up loving this look and contradiction as I grow more secure within myself and more confident. But either which way, I will have to follow this new doubt carefully and see where it takes me. Keep going flat for a while and see how it goes, and see if how I'm perceived really changes based on that and if that really feels better in the long run to be perceived as a man. To take advantage of this very hot summer to be shirtless also in public to test my comfort level with that, and if I'd miss that. To explore my flatness gently and with careful patience to see if it really is so bad. To ask my brain: what is this lingering doubt trying to tell me? I'll start with giving it this summer, then more time if needed. I'll still go to the surgery consultation that could happen anytime now. It's not like I'd have to get the surgery by just going to that consultation, cause I'll need to go through my trauma therapy first, and even if it's expected I'd go through with surgery after consultation, I can always cancel at any point. Also, being informed of what a surgeon can do for me and my specific chest, as well as getting my questions about the surgery answered, would surely be helpful in my decision-making as well. I mean, that's what surgery consultations are for. Because I still lean towards wanting it more than I lean towards maybe not wanting it, I think cautiously proceeding with my thumb close to the cancel button is not a bad idea.

#my pics #top surgery #detransition #regret #dysphoria #gender critical #surgery doubts #5 years post op #my dented ribs #venting #desisting

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fallen029 · 7 years

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The Nuances of Seances.2

Previous Chapter

"How come since Lisanna had to come in early, we had to come in early?" Happy complained as he and Natsu sat bored up at the guildhall bar. "Where does she get off, huh? Coming into our sacred home and knocking on the door at such an early hour."

"it was seven in the morning, Happy," Lisanna answered instead as Natsu found his time better spent sleeping (and drooling) with his head against Mirajane's precious bar top. "And it wasn't fair that I'm the only one that has to be here so early."

"You're getting paid, you know," the feline pointed out. "To be here."

"You're the one that always says you and I don't spend any special alone time together." The woman was over tacking up new jobs on the request board, but did glance over her shoulder at him. "Didn't you?"

"Yeah, but we're not alone!" Happy made a face at Natsu who, still snoozing, was unconcerned. "He's here."

"He's sleeping."

"And Kinana's right here, you know."

Lisanna's eyes widened as she was reminded that yes, the other woman was behind the bar, just bent down at the moment, taking some stock of the spirits beneath it.

"Uh, yeah, and I definitely didn't forget that at all," the white haired woman said. "Sheesh, Happy, why would you even insinuate it?"

"Oh, it's okay," they both heard Kinana call from beneath the bar. "Laxus and Mirajane forget I'm here all the time. All the time."

"You should teach me your secrets." Happy, seated atop the bar, peaked over the edge of it to stare down at the woman. "I can never even get Laxus and Mirajane to do anything like that in front of me."

"Well, it's a bit hard to forget about you when you're constantly inputting your suggestions as to what they should 'confess' to one another."

"Well have you ever heard them explicitly state that they love one another?" The Exceed took to glaring over at Lisanna. "Huh?"

"Actually, yes, Hap. A lot."

"Teach me your secrets too!"

"Maybe," Kinana suggested as she popped back up, "if you weren't so weird about it, people would open up to you more."

"How am I weird about it?" he asked. "I'm very supportive of all couples."

"You're not supportive of me and Bickslow," Lisanna muttered in a bit more real tone then. "You know."

"I like Bickslow," the cat defended before, with his arms crossed over his chest, he added, "I just don't like his dolls. They suck."

"Don't say that."

"It's true!" The Exceed patted at his fuzzy white stomach. "They shoot me in the tummy constantly with their stupid green lasers."

"Yeah, but only 'cause you're constantly bothering Bickslow when you're around," she pointed out. "Asking him all sorts of really personal questions, Hap, that aren't really your business."

"Like what?' he asked. "Everything to do with you is my business! Deep probing questions about his love for you is what any man should expect from me!"

Giggling, Kinana remarked, "I think I'm noticing a pattern."

"Where is Bickslow anyways?" Happy took to looking around, as if the creepy seith could jump out at any moment (it honestly felt, at times, like he would do just that). "Lisanna? Was he not as great as Natsu and I? Willing to get up so early in the morning even though we didn't have to because we care so much about you?"

"Happy, you and Natsu woke me up at five in the morning last week for, like, no reason-"

"We were having an argument that we needed you to settle."

"You snuck through my bedroom window?"

"Uh, gee, Lisanna, maybe if if you don't want people sneaking around in your house, you should be sure to lock everything."

"Sound logic," Kinana agreed helpfully.

"Especially your windows," he added. "I lock all our windows."

"You have holes all throughout your house that someone could easily get through," she pointed out.

"Yeah, 'cause I want them sneaking in. Then Natsu would get up and I could watch him fight 'em!" Happy punched at the air. "Or maybe I'll take 'em out. I'm becoming pretty powerful, in case you haven't noticed. Since you're so busy with Bickslow all the time now."

"Happy," Lisanna sighed, glancing over at him. "We spend plenty of-"

She stopped speaking as, suddenly, the guildhall doors were thrown up and in walked the man in question, five wooden dolls trailing along behind him.

"Lissy," he greeted upon his entry. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Right where you said you'd meet me?" she asked, though she was already tossing the remaining fliers down on a table to rush and go meet him. Kinana grinned at the sight, but still had much to get done. She wasn't sure if Mirajane was coming in that day or not, but should the woman do so and find the place not in the same tiptop shape she keeps it in, then she'd be in for quite the scolding.

And the place was never in the immaculate state Mira strived to keep it in (for opening, anyways). Never.

Happy, however, was less than pleased for the man to, once more, seemingly appear out of nowhere to ruin all the fun. Or, rather, the fun he generated not being able to exist around anyone else's.

It was fun, kinda, at first. Lisanna having a boyfriend. And for it to be Bickslow of all people. It gave Happy something to tease the woman about as well as get all the juicy insider information from. While Mirajane was certainly Lisanna's go to source for venting all her dirty laundry, she didn't mind doing so with the Exceed fluttering around, if not snuggle right in her arms. And she didn't mind if he crashed one of the pairs' dates either, as it typically consisted of them just mucking around the city or his place, doing next to nothing.

Slowly though, especially in the past year or so, Lisanna had begun to...change. Or maybe Happy had. He wasn't sure which. All he knew was that, all of a sudden, he wasn't invited to hang out with the pair as much and her conversations with Mirajane because something that he wasn't allowed to listen in on. Lucy told him that was because Bickslow and Lisanna were becoming more 'serious' and that he should be happy for her, but this only made Happy remind the woman she'd probably never find true happiness for herself which, of course, got him called stupid and a vow from the celestial mage to never let him air his grievances to her again.

Though he would.

Because even if he hid it pretty well, Happy definitely liked that aspect of he and Lucy's relationship.

Honestly, he wasn't even sure if it was hidden that well.

But there wasn't much that he could do. Other than flat out tell Lisanna he was feeling neglected (which would sound weird, no matter how he attempted to phrase it in his head, and he just knew would make him seem far too needy), Happy was left with passive aggressive comments that got a, "Whoa, little buddy, you feeling okay?" from Natsu and a, "Happy, don't be so rude all the time," from Lisanna, but not much else.

"it's part of maturing, tomcat, surely you know this," Carla groaned once when he griped about this to her while they were spending time together at the guildhall (err, well, she was spending some time off by herself on the grounds and he happened upon her, refusing to take a hint, but same thing, right?). "Lisanna is not your...mother."

"I know that! I didn't say that!"

"Then why are you acting as if she has a mandatory amount of time she must spend with you?" Carla looked off, considering something. "Although, if she was your mother-"

"I didn't say-"

"-you surely are old enough to understand needs beside your own are important, right?"

Happy's tail flicked at the thought. "I know that. Of course I know that. And I want Lisanna to be happy."

"You did not think she would be alone forever, did you?"

"I dunno. I'd never thought about it."

"You?" Carla sounded shocked. "The man that can't speak on anything other than love had never thought of one of his closest friends as one day finding it."

"Well, not with Bickslow. And not like this."

"But you don't get a say in that," she reminded. Then, after a short pause, she told him, "You know, one day Wendy too will fall in love. Perhaps many times. And though I'd hope that she would take my sharp instincts on just who is and is not worth my time, should she not, there's nothing much I can do other than be there for her and watch where our new friendship takes us?"

Happy too took a pause though, just as quickly, his head was shooting up. "Did you just say that you like spending time with me?"

The long sigh Carla gave him more than showed she felt about the same as she always did by it though, as her wings appeared and she fluttered off, she did remark, "Perhaps you have not matured nearly as much as I thought."

He was reflecting back on that conversation in particular that morning while he sat beside the snoozing Natsu and distantly listened in to the conversation that Lisanna was currently having with Bickslow.

One part stuck out to him more than any other.

"Well, Lissy, I just wanted to stop by."

"Stop by? You said you'd hang out with me this morning since Mira was gonna make me work. Remember? We literally just talked about it last night."

"Plans change, Lisanna."

"Overnight?"

"If you must know-"

"Yes," she interrupted, "I must."

"It's somethin' for you that I'mma be busy doing." The seith rubbed his knuckles against his chest. "Something big. Something that will blow your mind."

"Well, I think I have to work all day, so-"

"It'll be tonight," he said as his babies repeated that final word. "i already ran everything through your sister, so don't even worry about it, yeah? I'll come get you from the hall when it's time."

"Don't I even get a hint to what it is?"

Reaching up, he flicked up his visor so that they could stare one another straight in the eyes.

"What's life without surprises?" he asked.

"I don't know, you've never made it long enough to surprise me."

This was true.

But also going to be false that night.

"Okay," Lisanna said slowly as she took a step back from the man, planning on getting back to work. "Don't, like, get blackout drunk and forget about it. Now that, you know, you've told me about it and everything."

"Lissy, what are you implying?"

"I think you know."

Allowing his visor to drop, he only said, "Some time after sundown, alright? Be ready. I mean, it's not anything you have to get ready for, really, but-"

"Don't ruin it." Now that he'd challenged himself to keep the secret, she wanted to aid in this. Even though surprises were the worst, they were certainly also the best, in their own ways. "Get out of here before you do."

Bickslow gave her a salute and, with that, he was turning to march off, onto the next phase of the plan. Which for him was getting breakfast. But also making sure the others had started on the instructions he left them with while they were still deaing with the table incident. However, as he and his babies exited the hall and Lisanna went back to work, another person slipped through the door as well.

"Hey, Bickslow, wait up!"

"Ah?" He made a face at the feline as he flew towards him. "What do you want, cat? I'm very busy today...everyday. I'm a busy man. As you well know."

"What are you gonna do for Lisanna tonight?" Happy asked as he landed on the ground, tilting his head back to stare up at the tall man.

"Oi, is she already cavin'?" Shaking his head with disapproval, the seith said, "No commitment."

"No," Happy said with his own head shake. "I just want to know. And can I tag along? Natsu hasn't been much fun recently and-"

"No can do, cat." Bickslow crossed his arms. "Thunder Legion and Strauss siblings only. It's a rule."

"How can that be a rule? That's a stupid rule! A...a discriminatory rule!"

"Hmmm." Bickslow glanced up. "A discriminate. That's a good characteristic, ain't it? Or a dark knight such as myself? How could you root for such a man? You couldn't. Until you had to. Yeah, I-"

"Bickslow-"

"Sorry, Happy." He turned to walk off. "Why don't you spend time doing….whatever it is that you do normally? I mean- Oh, wait, hey! Yes! Why didn't I think of this before?"

Happy, fists having been ready to get balled, didn't lose any of his tension, but did asked, "What's that? What did you think of?"

"I could use an inside man," he said with a nod of his head. "Someone to make sure things definitely go my way. To aid in the trickery."

"Trickery? What exactly are you doing to Lisanna?"

"Trickery? Who said anything about trickery?"

"Pretty sure you-"

"Look, you wanna help me with this or not?"

Swallowing, it was a short ten seconds before the Exceed nodded. "Yeah. But what is it? What do you need me to do?"

"How good are you with faking voices?"

"Are you kidding? I'm the best!" At everything. In his mind, Happy added at everything. Because part of him truly believed this.

How could you ever believe you could possibly fail when the majority of your life completely lacked any instance of it?

"What are the odds?" Bickslow chuckled darkly and turned to walk off once more. "Come eat breakfast with me, cat. There's much to plan. Much to discuss."

"Right now?" Suddenly, Happy was glancing back at the hall. "But Lisanna and Natsu… I really shouldn't-"

"Are you a man or you a mouse?"

"I don't think I'm either."

"What a conundrum." Bickslow had to stop walking at that one. He had him there. "Hm."

"But...I guess I could go with you." Wings reappearing, he fluttered right back into the air. "If what we're doing's gonna help Lisanna." Not to mention, Bickslow had brought up the Strauss siblings. Though his opinions on the Thunder God Tribe weren't always the best, the ones he held on the Strauss siblings always rang through. Mirajane would never let anything happen to he nor Lisanna.

They were hardly off the grounds when Bickslow glanced over at the feline, the sight of him soaring through the sky not too odd for the man that had wooden dolls that did the same thing.

"Just how good are you, cat, at breaking into Lisanna's place?"

The question about made him drop out of the sky. "That has to do with the surprise?"

"No, that has to do with the fact the other shouldda cleared out of there by now and Mrs. Boss skipped over me on the breakfast train."

"W-Well, I am pretty hungry too-"

"Then it's settled. We'll plot over breakfast."

"P-Plot?"

"Hmmm?"

But Bickslow was hardly looking at him and didn't seem to notice the concerned stare Happy had going towards him.

Just what sorta thing had he signed himself up for?

Next Chapter

#Bixanna #Fairy Tail #Happy #Natsu #Kinana #Lisanna #Bickslow #2 of 5 #Fanfiction

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010111110 · 5 years

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flore

God, what a mess this night’s been. I’m out here still pacing, trying to figure out what to do. Could use a drink but I’m all out of juice, and I don’t mean the booze, although I’m all out of that too. The nearest open bottle shop’s a mile off from here, but fuck me if I’m buying that cheap goony shit off them bugs. That shit won’t fly unless I’m real proper desperate, but I might here be speaking just a bit too soon. I’ll try and relay the events to you as clear as crystal blow, but I’m warning you now – it ain’t too pretty to hear.

Right, so I’m out on the town with this French lass Flore, good mate of mine, known her about a year or so now. We met in one of me old share houses and hit it off almost right away, which is strange for me, I don’t normally hit it off with no one. Don’t speak too much English the poor girl, not that I mind of course, the less talk the better is what me mum always says. Anywhos, it’s her birthday tonight and she’s got a great fat hankering for Indian of all things, so I take her to this one pub I heard of from one of me younger cousins, don’t remember the name exact, some Mukka or bloody Dukka, but it’s got this hideously grim statue of a blue monkey-man near the door, and that’s how you can tell that it’s real class and proper.

So we go in and grab a couple of cold jugs before the main event, and everything’s going down all soft and easy and fluid-like, and I’m telling Flore bout work and my piece of shit boss who keeps calling them godawful staff meetings in between each and every meal break. Warren Blythe, the old white horse, mangy little fucker with hot mustard teeth, even thinking about him makes me blood simmer, always yabbering on about how exotic he thinks I look, exotic, yes exotic, what a cunt of a word, men must be drooling all over me wherever I go, and how is it that I haven’t got a boyfriend yet? You see, I’m the only dark girl he’s ever known, the carrot that he dangles in front of all the rest of ‘em, hell, I’d punch him in the nuts if I could pay me bills otherwise, I mean the money’s decent enough, so I suppose something’s gotta give.

Putain de merde, a right bastard, Flore agrees.

Now, this is round the time I begin to notice that Flore’s been touching me a whole lot. And I don’t mean the friendly kinda touching neither, the I-sincerely-treasure-your-companionship kind, see I wouldn’t make a fuss if that were it, no, I mean almost straight up mauling, the I-wanna-slam-you-against-the-fridge-and-cum-all-over-your-tits kind. I don’t know, it’s odd I think, that she’d pull a stunt like this after a year of us being mates and that, the beer’s getting to me head I think, and ain’t she straight anywhos, and gah it’s probably nothing. I lay off it and knock back some more till I’m all lukewarm and careless again.

Next thing I know, food’s gone before it even touches the table, practically snuffed it in one go, guess we didn’t realize how starved we really were. Flore says she wants to go dancing, and dancing now, at some place that plays that bloody reggaeton, sometimes I wonder why we’re even friends really, but fuck it, tonight’s her night and I’m not about to complain, say goodbye to the blue monkey-man, swear it winked at us when we left. We follow the thumps of second-rate music into a club not too far off, the glitziest of city shindigs, take a good look round the joint, everybody’s a lot better dressed than we are, or at least better than I am, Flore’s got on a nice whitish dress, the kind that swoops down like a bird and drags dirt across the linoleum.

By the bar, Flore’s going on about her mum who’s getting divorced, or separated, whatever the term is these days. Consciously uncoupled perhaps, as Paltrow likes to put it. Now she’s off traveling the world, trekking the mountains in Tibet, or was it China I dunno, might very well have been, but she’s living her young adult dreams in her early 50s, what gallantry, what bravoure! How come they split up in the first place I ask, an unassuming girl with unassuming questions. Well, ‘parently Flore’s dad got caught up in some dirty gambling business, lost ‘em a lot of foolish money, bet he’s lying in the gutters cursing, wishing he could take it all back and then some, ah, well, no point in wallowing in your sorries, better things to be spending your precious time on.

C’est la vie, and life fucks us all.

I decide I need another beer, can’t dance to this shit without it, get a nice pint of lager for meself, sweet pear cider for the lady. With our drinks guzzled down, we push our way through the crowd to the eye of the storm, to where the action’s going on, all sweat and glitter and the skunk of modern pretension, Flore’s busting out a jig, can’t lie to you, I’m grooving a bit meself. There’s a group of girls dancing next to us, the kind that’s got on too much makeup and not nearly enough fabric, but one of them’s real beautiful I think, one of them catches me eye.

Little Miss Mystery, dressed in either yellow or green, it’s hard to tell with the goddamn neon lights that keep flickering on and off, but she’s got a face that’s bound to have broken some hearts, maybe even some skulls. Now I’m getting real red and she’s looking right at me, I’m thinking should I go say hello, but who the fuck says hello in the middle of the dancefloor? Before I can make up me mind, Miss Mystery’s suddenly in front of me, her lips pucker as she speaks, can barely hear her over the music.

Are you here with someone?

Bugger me, gotta act cool. I point at Flore and say we’re together, but not together together, no, of course not. Miss Mystery flashes a smile, and it all happens so bloody fast, as these things always do, hands on hips, tongues in mouths, she tastes like rum and those tiny mint lollies you get at hotel restrooms, what a strange combination I think. But it’s real hot and heavy, by now I’ve sunk too many to give a shit really. I see Flore walk away, presumably to get another drink.

Time rolls on, and most of it’s a blur, that is, until I hear some commotion at the bar. From the faint sound of it, some fucker’s getting antsy, yelling obscenities and such, I feel bad for the staff really, having to put up with so many obnoxious drunks gathered in one small venue.

Nique ta mere!

Shit, why am I hearing French? I recognize the voice and snap out of me daze, take Mystery’s hands off – shit! There she is in her swooping white dress, Flore, she’s full on arguing with the bouncer, threatening to take another swing at him with one of them empty beer jugs, I go try and calm her down, but she can hardly keep up standing. Things escalate from there, dunno how we end up at the gas station, but we’re there somehow, and Flore’s puking her guts out by the pavement.

Why would you kiss her?

You were supposed to kiss me!

Salope!

You slut!

Can’t you see that I’m in love…

I ended up paying for her taxi home, though she din’ even look at me as she got in. Don’t know too much of what went on with Miss Mystery after the whole fiasco either, she must’ve left with her mates at one point, didn’t even get her name, let alone her number. God, it sickens me, it does. What a waste of a bloody good night. Wonder if Flore’ll call me tomorrow, telling me how awful sorry she is, or maybe she’ll leave me hanging dry with no explanation, who knows, and who gives a fuck? Either way, I’m still in need of a drink, I appreciate you listenin’ thus far, but it’s getting on dark and I gotta hurry off to that bottle shop now.

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fearofaherobrine · 7 years

Text

Roleplay Server Log #227

“Lie's Little Defender, Herabrine is Healed, Deerheart’s Dirty Feet”

[Lie] - So which NOTCH should we deal with first?

[CP] - I am not doing the kid, I will send one of you guys into his dream, but I am not doing the kid

[Doc] Fine, I'll take the kid, you do the big one-

[CP] - Okay, so who goes first?

[Doc] I'm already sitting, me first-

[CP] Focus' his power and sends Doc into the dream of the kid-

[CN] Is looking around in a panic, he see's nothing around him-

[Doc] Steps out of the nothing-

[CN] See's Doc- Where is she?- His voice wavers a little in fear

[Doc] Nearby. You're dreaming.

[CN] - I... I don't wanna lose her after just finding her...

[Doc] Is that all you want from her? To be nearby?

[CN] - No, I have to protect her, I remember... I remember bits of fear from her when I first formed... I've been looking for her for a very long time... I WON'T LET ANYTHING HURT HER!

[Doc] I guess that's the best one could hope for from one's NOTCH... If we let you stay, will you stay out of trouble?

[CN] Shrugs- I dunno...

[Doc] Eyebrow- We have lots of experience dealing with bad children...

[CN] - I'M NOT BAD!

[Doc] I don't know that. You'll have to prove it to me.

[CN] Grumbles and folds his arms, one hand sneaks a bit farther down to rub against his rabbit foot-

[Doc] If you're willing to try, you can stay.

[CN] - ... Okay...- His stomach then growls

[Doc] Then we have a deal. It looks like you've been living pretty rough. Cp? We're good. Let us loose.

[CP] - Do I have to let the little hellion loose?

[Doc] Please?

[CP] Grumbles- Fine- He releases those two from the dream

[Doc] Looks at the kid. - Why don't you have pants on anyway?

[CN] - I lost them

[CP] Sighs and Sits on the ground, bringing Lie with him before closing his eyes and entering the dream of the other NOTCH-

[DN] Is meditating in the empty space.

[CP] - So, you done fighting?

[DN] Am I? I don't recall starting the altercation.

[CP] - Just asking a general question

[DN] I am satisfied if he is.

[CP] - That moron's never satisfied

[DN] Then I guess I am not?

[CP] - Eh, the idiot will probably come after me next

[DN] Watches them impassively-

[CP] - So, what's the story with you and the kid?

[DN] He is small and weak and we had a common goal.

[CP] - To get into this server

[DN] Yes. We are drawn to our brines. To fulfill our purpose.

[CP] - And what is yours?

[DN] To make hard what they soften. They are unbalanced, unfinished, they need a watcher.

[CP] - To make hard what they soften? You mean their ability to melt things, don't you...

[DN] Nods. - There must be balance.

[CP] - You'll find most brines here won't believe you on that

[DN] I do not care.

[CP] - Suit yourself, now, would you prefer to be with a bunch of other NOTCH's?

[DN] I would prefer to be alone. But the small one... they favor my company for some reason.

[CP] - Cause they're a kid, that's why

[DN] They are less a child then they appear. I have mostly stayed in the void. While they tried to enter other seeds.

[CP] - What do you mean they are less a child then they appear?

[DN] Shrugs- He is a NOTCH. He can survive, at least as well as a wild animal.

[CP] - You really don't understand kids at all, do you...

[DN] Why would I? I cannot have children.

[CP] - Because you'll potentially have to deal with quite a few of them here

[DN] I said I did not know, not that I am too foolish to learn.

[CP] - Well you seem harmless enough for now, I'll let you out

[DN] Gives a respectful nod-

[CP] - Wake up

[DN] Sits up and brushes himself off, his already ragged clothes are even more torn from fighting with MB.

[Lie] Feels CP's grip tighten and reaches back to run her fingers through his hair in a reassuring way-

[Doc] Everything sorted out?

[CP] - Yeah yeah

[TLOT] Is making the 'I've got my eyes on you" gesture at DN

[DN] Goes to stand near Doc-

[Doc] Just... give me some space, okay?

[CN] - I'm hungry!

[DN] Takes a step to the side.

[TLOT] I might have something... - fiddles around in his inventory-

[Lie] Takes a closer look at CN and notices how his ribs show through his skin-

[TLOT] Comes up with some cooked porkchops, and a couple of cookies -Here, you can have these- He holds them out, but it's clear the child unnerves him -

[CN] Takes the pork chops- Aren't these supposed to be pink?

[Doc] No? Unless you like them raw.

[CN] - Raw?

[Lie] - I don't think he has much experience cooking...

[Doc] Just eat em, they're safe.

[TLOT] Mumbles - the only reason I had cooked ones was because of Steve...

[CN] Tries them- Mm! And they don't make my food bar green!

[TLOT] Has a little flash of sympathy.

[Doc] living rough indeed....

[CN] Tears the pork chop apart with his teeth-

[CP] - Well if they were meant to spawn on this seed and couldn't, then I don't think he had many opportunities to even get food

[DN] We tried to get in elsewhere but were always swiftly expelled...

[CP] - Blame your brines mate

[DN] Why?

[Doc] We keep it so people can't spawn here without permission....

[DN] I see...

[CP] Stands, picking Lie up as he does so- Well, we're going home

[DN] If there is no objection, then I will go hunting.

[CN] Doesn't know where to go-

[Doc] Just don't bother penned/named animals or any mob with clothes on...

[DN] Understood. - He's starting to fade from view a little

[CN] - Ummm...- He looks down at the cookies in his hands

[TLOT] It's food.

[CN] - Are you sure?

[TLOT] Yeah? I made them myself.

[CN] - ... What are they?

[Doc] They're cookies. Mostly sugar, cocoa and wheat.

[CN] - Cocoa?

[DN] Slipped away as they were talking-

[CP] Groans in irritation at CN's questions- Just eat them

[CN] - No you big meanie!

[Doc] They're a type of bean. A little hard to find if you haven't spent much time exploring seeds.

[CN] - I mostly just popped into seeds to see if there was any food right there so I wouldn't miss a chance to get in here

[TLOT] We do what we have too.... to survive. - mentally to Lie- You're not going to just leave him, are you?

[Lie] - No, but I don't know where to put him... Stevie would often stay in bed with me and CP, but I don't think that's an option with this one...

[TLOT] Mentally- what about the bed at the bottom of the stairs to Endrea's room? Markus used it plenty of times.

[Lie] - I wouldn't want him freaking out at the dragons...

[TLOT] Then put a bed down in the trunk room where BEN's console was.

[Lie] - I suppose that will work for now...- She looks over at CN and speaks to him- Come on CN, you can come with us

[CP] - I'm sorry what?

[Doc] We're both responsible... I'm pretty sure mine will return once he's eaten to shadow me some more.

[Lie] - Yes, but then you'll have Deer with you

[Doc] ... I know....

[TLOT] mentally- Are you afraid of your NOTCH Lie?

[CN] Hesitantly approaches CP- Let her go

[CP] - Oh for fucks sake, not this shit again

[Lie] - I'm not sure what to think of him, but I know he irritates CP so far so I'm trying to figure out how not to have a war in my house

[TLOT] Gives her a calculating look - I think for the time being there isn't much in the way of options.

[Lie] - I know, and I think I may have to make a new addition to my house

[Doc] I'm going home... - Xe seems a bit depressed. And shuffles off-

[Lie] Convinces CP to put her down and holds her hand out to CN- Come on, I'll show you where you'll be staying

[CP] Grumbles-

[CN] Takes Lie's hand and follows her away from the spawn, leaving TLOT and CP alone-

[TLOT] Well that was harrowing....

[CP] - You're pathetic

[TLOT] Gee, thanks.

[CP] - I'm serious TLOT, you keep saying you'll be able to help me with my NOTCH when the time comes, but you can't even face a child NOTCH! Much less the Nether! You boast that you'll be able to help, but I don't see you actually taking action to be able to do so!

[TLOT] I said I would help you... I didn't say that the idea doesn't scare me... I presume you'd think even less of me if I refused to help due to my own fears.

[CP] - You had a panic attack just thinking about meeting these two! I can't see you following through on your promise...

[TLOT] Do you think I would lie to you about that? I want to help.

[CP] - Then prove it!

[TLOT] How?

[CP] - I don't know!

[TLOT] I think my fears would be lessened greatly if I were not making the assault against your foe as the only one with special powers Cp...

[CP] Scowls, his frustrations growing-

[TLOT] I saw with my own eyes that it frightens you to think of facing your NOTCH alone...

[CP] - Shut up!

[TLOT] It's different when there are lots of us... I.... overreacted earlier. I hate the thought of just random NOTCHs on this server. But it's not as bad as I had feared. The child seems half-starved and the other... I'm not sure. But... I can cope. For Doc's sake if no other reason.

[CP] Starts pacing a little, the grass turning brown behind him just from the heat he's expelling-

[TLOT] Just stands there watching him, letting his own anxieties fade. - Cp... Talk to me. And I don't mean insult me because you're angry.

[CP] - About what!?

[TLOT] I think I'm the least of your concerns. Was there something amiss in their dreams?

[CP] - No! Although Doc's wasn't the least bit concerned in his

[TLOT] He seems... weirdly self-contained. Perhaps he's merely quiet because Doc is so boisterous?

[CP] - He said his job was to solidify what Doc liquified

[TLOT] Considering that their powers went out of control the moment they first manifested... maybe he's concerned it might happen again?

[CP] - I don't know! And that damned kid...

[TLOT] He seems rather protective of her. At least he isn't hostile to the brine he was generated for. That's a blessing.

[CP] - TLOT, he was formed when she was still scared of me

[TLOT] Pauses - I hadn't thought of that...

[CP] - That kid will try to stop me from getting to my mate... AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT A KID!?

[TLOT] Shrugs- Why is Doc's even taller then you?

[CP] Growls- Why do we suddenly have odd NOTCH's? As far as we can tell they all look identical and then these two just spring out of nowhere!

[TLOT] Why do we have a physical representation of the server itself? This seed is special. It's unique for the love that has been lavished on protecting it and the oddity of the people that dwell in it. For all we know it's unnatural to gather Herobrines together because our combined energy distorts reality or something.

[CP] Groans and some of the grass he's treading over starts smoking-

[TLOT] Stands on his tiptoes and swats a 'sapling' out of one of the candy colored trees. It's a big cone of strawberry ice cream. He offers it to Cp. - maybe something to cool you down?

[CP] - Oh fuck you! I don't want that fucking crap!

[TLOT] A simple no would have sufficed... - he takes a small bite of the ice cream- what's the worst that could happen? Be reasonable here.

[CP] - That's just it, I don't know! These NOTCH's aren't like the others on the sub seed! I don't know what sort of shit that kid could do!

[TLOT] Actually... I think I know why the NOTCHs are abnormal! Lie and Doc aren't like us. They weren't spawned in Minecraft and they don't look like traditional Herobrines. That could account for the variation?

[CP] - Maybe!? How the fuck should I know!?

[TLOT] I'm just musing, can you think of a more logical reason? - takes a small crunchy bite out of the cone.

[CP] -No...- His mind is swirling like a storm with all his frustrations and concerns

[TLOT] Do you really think a little kid, even a little kid NOTCH, could turn Lie against you?

[CP] - No but that doesn't stop the fucking worry!

[TLOT] It's okay to be concerned, working on your relationship doesn't stop when you get married. It's always a work in progress. Love isn't just big showy gestures, it's little things too.

[CP] - I just... I don't want her to ever go through the pain we did, the pain of removal, because of a NOTCH...

[TLOT] But he seems to want the opposite. And we know not all the NOTCHs want to eliminate their charges. I think it's more likely that she got lucky

[CP] - I'm only thinking about it because of that dream Ashe had. It was probably just a nightmare, but Doc and GK's paranoia must be getting to me

[TLOT] I don't think that little wooden sword he was swatting you with would do more then aggravate her.

[CP] Starts catching on fire a little-

[Honedge] Removes itself from CP-

[TLOT] I'm proud of you for caring this much at least. Trust me, I'll be keeping a mental eye on both of them.

[CP] - You fucking better!

[TLOT] I'm more concerned about Doc's really, did you see the way he tore into Mb?

[CP] - Yeah, he tried the same stuff with me, almost hit Lie with my pick because of his damn ice

[TLOT] That's not good...

[CP] Shows TLOT mentally what happened-

[TLOT] Well I think it could have been much worse. I think the big one just overreacted to you grabbing the kid.

[CP] Grumbles- I didn't grab him that hard...

[TLOT] You did laugh at him though, and your laugh is just a tad evil...

[CP] - Shut up

[TLOT] Why did you do that anyway? Just because he's odd-looking?

[CP] - I don't know, it just felt appropriate

[TLOT] Grins wryly- Hunting in the dark for someone running likely inflamed your instincts.

[CP] - No shit, and I ended up catching a snotty kid

[Doc] Clumps down the steps and flops fully dressed on their bed.The sheets are rumpled and smell faintly of Deerheart and Yanufen both. Xe takes a deep breath of it, letting the sweetness and scent of good earth fill hir lungs. Before the breath is fully exhaled, they're asleep-

[DN] Is wandering the castle curiously-

[Deer] Slips downstairs, having heard Doc return, Yaunfen is following her- Doc?- She smiles a little as she see's her mate sleeping. She approaches and begins undressing them to make them more comfortable

[DN] Has found the vine room and gets hissed at by LH

[LH] Growls so loud it can likely be heard downstairs-

[Deer] Pauses in pulling Doc's coat off and frowns, she knows LH rarely hisses-

[LH] rrrrr FFT!

[DN] Is staring at the cat curiously

[Deer] Motions for Yaunfen to stay where they are as she heads up the stairs-

[DN] Blows some cold air on LH

[LH] Suprised and pissy - MOW!

[Deer] - LH?

[LH] Runs to Deerheart and hides behind her hooves- YOW!

[Deer] - Who are you?

[DN] I am DN. I am a NOTCH.

[Deer] Frowns- Why are you here in our home? I can feel that you were one of the entities lingering outside

[DN] Simply - Because I am the Doctor's NOTCH.

[Deer] Scowls- If you lay a finger on them

[DN] Looks at her curiously. - You do not know me. Why would you assume you know my motivation?

[LH] Hiiiissss!

[Deer] - I can already tell some things by how LH is reacting to you, if a cat does not trust you, then why should I?

[DN] He's a glitch. He wears the eyes of a Herobrine. Perhaps he can sense what I am?

[Deer] - He's never reacted like that to the few others of your kind we have allowed on here before

[DN] -Shrugs- This is the first time I've seen such a creature anyway.

[Deer] - He is a cat, now then, what are you doing here?

[DN] Everyone must be somewhere. I followed my Herobrine here.

[Deer] - Well you'll go no farther, Doc is resting

[DN] Understood. - He takes a step to the side and sits down cross-legged on the floor. The pool of water behind him is already beginning to freeze.

[Deer] Eye twitches- Please don't freeze the water

[DN] Glances at the water. -I am cold even without my boots. It can't be helped.

[Deer] - Well you should learn to control it

[DN] Says one who likely doesn't have powers of her own.

[Deer] Her eyes narrow dangerously and the seed ripples in response- You do not know what you are dealing with

[DN] Barely blinks - No, I do not. But you are not the one I am assigned to balance.

[Deer] - Stay away from my mate

[DN] No.

-The seed creaks and groans a little as energy gathers around Deer, causing her clothes to swirl a little-

[Deer] - Yes

[DN] What are you?

[Deer] - I am the seed itself

[DN] Interesting. Then I presume you know that my presence is inevitible. I exist because they exist.

[Deer] - Yes, but I can easily be rid of you as well

[DN] How do you presume to accomplish that?

[Deer] - I can remove your existence. You came from me and thus I know every bit of code in you, I can completely delete you

[DN] Are you threatening me miss?

[Deer] - Yes, leave my mate alone

[DN] I do not think you want to fight with me...

[Deer] - You're correct, I do not, but that doesn't mean I wont

[DN] Then we are at an impasse. I have spent every speck of my energy trying to gain access to the seed where I belong. I'll not be so easily intimidated.

[Deer] - Then tread carefully, you are on thin ice

[DN] Gives a small snort. - A situation I am intimately familiar with.

[Deer] With a huff she turns around, scoops up LH and heads down the stairs to her and Doc's room. She hesitates briefly before tossing some blocks into the stairwell so nobody can get in before she turns towards the bed-

[DN] Just stays on the floor and beings to meditate.

[Yaunfen] Is trying to wrap around Doc-

[Doc] Opens one sleepy eye- Hey... let me have a little air.....

[Yaunfen] - Mada!

[Deer] - Doc? Are you okay?

[Doc] I'm just.... UGH. - Waves hir hands a little in annoyance. - Why me? Really?

[Deer] - Because unfortunately it's a part of the game for brines- She nudges Yaunfen off of Doc so she can curl up with them- But don't worry, I will help protect you

[Doc] I believe that. And I can't express how much it means to me. I'm sorry my life is such a mess...

[Deer] - It's alright love, only parts of it are messy

[Yaunfen] Sniffs Doc's foot and licks it before balking at the taste-

[Doc] YIKES! That's cold Yaunfen!

[Deer] Sputters and then laughs-

[Doc] Puts hir hands and feet in the air- Blergh, I'm dead. Tell my NOTCH to fuck off, I'm deceased.

[Deer] - I tried, I really did

[Doc] Really? Did the fucker follow me home?!

[Deer] - He's in the vine room

[Doc] That tears it. Yaunfen? You are getting your own room, today. I feel like digging.

[Yaunfen] - Burp?

[Deer] - Not now love, rest

[Doc] Curls up against her- I love you...

[Deer] - I love you to

[Notch] See's Lie walking back with the small NOTCH and just freezes in place with a dumbfounded expression - What the....?!

[Lie] - Oh, Notch...

[Notch] Did I miss something?

[Lie] - Weeeeeeeell

[CN] - Stay away from her!

[Notch] Can I have an explanation please? And I'm praying it isn't that Splender stole a child.

[Lie] - No no, nothing like that. The fact of the matter is, well, Doc ad I are brines, according to the programming, every brine is paired with a NOTCH...

[Notch] This is your NOTCH? I'm presuming he's a relatively peaceful type or you guys wouldn't have let him on the server?

[Lie] - He's a child Notch. look at how starved he looks... Doc's NOTCH didn't give us much of a choice on the matter

[Notch] Shivers visibly - Are we going to have to fight theirs?

[Lie] - I hope not...

[CN] - What's that!- Points at a flitter

[Notch] Deflates a little- It's a bug one of the native brines made. It's mostly for decoration.

[CN] - It's weird

[Notch] Well I think they're pretty.

[Lie] Sighs- Anyways, this one will be staying with us for a little while and I fully expect CP to try and push him off on you, so just a heads up

[Notch] I hope not... Come on inside then. Lets feed the little bugger.

[Lie] Follows Notch-

[Notch] Leads them into his own little house. The extra trunk is a bit conspicuous in the small area. - TLOT taught me how to make his chicken chowder thing and now it's just something I can do on the crafting table, it's a bit odd code wise, but tasty and filling- he pulls out some bowls and fills three of them before offering one to the little NOTCH.

[CN] Suspiciously takes the bowl and looks at it. It's not any sort of food he recognizes as he sniffs at it and turns it to look at it. He pulls out the spoon and tosses it aside since he can see it's not edible as he laps at the concoction inside-

[Lie] - Ah, CN, that's not how we eat soup...

[CN] Gives her a confused look-

[Notch] I mean... You can if you want... The mechanics of the game doesn't include utensils....

[CN] - What are those?

[Lie] - The thing you just tossed aside

[Notch] As long as he gets some food in him that's the important thing. It's rough out there if you don't have a home server to retreat too

[CN] - This is my home server!

[Notch] But you couldn't get in. That was my point

[CN] Grumbles as he starts drinking the soup-

[Notch] Whispers to Lie- he seems harmless enough?

[Lie] - So far, although he has tried hitting CP with his wooden sword...

[Notch] Snorts- oh dear... I'm sure that didn't go over well...

[Lie] - Eh, he had a smidgen of pride for Honedge, it blocked almost all the attacks

[Notch] I suspect that sword may be quite fond of him. Despite the grump

[Lie] - Oh I know it is

[Endrea] Is walking towards GK's place in her human form with her children-

[Gk] Is snoozing and also blocking the entire space between his house and Steffans just to be annoying.

[Endrea] Laughs a little- GG~ Perhaps you should wake up

[Gk] Opens his eyes and then blinks in confusion between the sight of her and the children -what the fuck...? -he sighs in resignation- it was time huh?

[Endrea] - You know you enjoy them in this form too GG, besides, I have a surprise for you

[GK] This is true. I love your kids... It just... you know how I feel about it. - Looks a little sad.

[Endrea] - But they are safer this way GG- She then ushers the kids closer to GK- Now then, for the surprise...

[Gk] I know. - He puts his feet around the little ones to hug them. - what is it?

[Endrea] Smiles before shifting into her new form- Ta da

[GK] Blinks in suprise - YOU SHRANK!

[Endrea] - Doc did some, adjustments

[Gk] as long as you're happy, I'm happy. I noticed you were having some trouble bumping into things.

[Endrea] - Yes, I can still access the larger size however when needed

[GK] Battle mode huh? That sounds useful. This is for the best, I'd hate to see you outgrow your fancy mansion either.

[TLOT] Is pacing down the road muttering to himself.

[Ashe] - Look! It's TLOT!

[TLOT] Is a bit wrapped up in his thoughts.

[Endrea] Calls out- TLOT?

[GK] He looks rather unsettled....

[TLOT] Hmm? Oh, hey Endrea... - His eyes look more deeply ringed then usual.

[Endrea] - Is everything alright?

[TLOT] No... but I'm dealing....

[Ashe] - What's wrong?

[TLOT] You know how there's a NOTCH generated for every Herobrine? Doc's and Lie's showed up.

[Endrea] - Lie's?

[GK] The fuck?

[TLOT] She is a Herobrine. I guess this seals it.

[Endrea] Growls- I'll be right back... Artemisia- She grows as she takes off towards Lie's place

[TLOT] Oh dear... she's in for a suprise

[GK] Why?

[TLOT] Because Lie's NOTCH is a little bit.... odd.

[Endrea] Thuds down outside of Lie's place- Lie?

[Notch] Feels the impact and jumps a little

[Lie] Hears Endrea and opens the door- Endrea?

[CN] Rushes outside- NO! GO AWAY!- He's waving his wooden sword

[Notch] WHOAH! Come back here!

[Endrea] Was completely ready to attack, void energy gathering in her mouth and she stops, freezing for the briefest second before bursting out laughing- It... It's so tiny!?

[CN] Goes to whack Endrea with his sword- GO AWAY! YOU WON'T HARM HER!

[Lie] - CN stop! She's a friend!

[Notch] That and what you're doing is super annoying, I'm sure.

[Endrea] Lifts leg a little to avoid the blows- Is this really your NOTCH?

[Lie] - Yes... He's learning...

[Notch] It seems so.

[Endrea] - It appears I was nervous for no reason- She shifts into her human form

[CN] Stares at her suspiciously-

[Notch] Well it was nice of you to come charging over to defend Lie. Where are the kids though?

[Endrea] - With GG

[Notch] Well that's okay then.

[Endrea] - I... Should probably return to them...

[Notch] Okay, I think a nice walk will calm you down anyway.

[Endrea] - Perhaps, I will see you tonight when we come home

[Lie] - Alright

[Notch] Waves-

[Doc] Is stubbornly refusing to get out of bed and is reading a book to Yaunfen-

[Deer] - Doc you have to get out of bed sometime, you can't live in our room

[Doc] You say that when you're also hiding. And it's only been a couple of hours.

[Deer] Sighs and walks across the room only to trip and face plant- Ow...

[Doc] That looks like it hurt. Are you okay?

[Yaunfen] Jumps up-

[Deer] - Yeah... I've just been tripping a bit more than usual...

[Doc] Eyes her up and down - actually... are you getting taller?

[Deer] - I don't think so...

[Doc] Because it kinda looks like you are... just a little bit. - blinks- Deerheart... I think you need your hooves trimmed!

[Deer] - Wha... What!? But... My hooves are made of clay!

[Doc] Well they were. But then, I made one of Cp's hands out of wood. Things integrate after a while. That's why I can use such varied materials to fix stuff. Hooves are like big fingernails, they do grow. Maybe the cobble floor and local dirt isn't scrubby enough to wear them down from walking?

[Deer] - But how would we trim them?

[Doc] I think Lie would know. But it probably involves a file to burr away a few pixels.

[Deer] - Well do you want to go over there and see if she'll let you borrow some tools?

[Doc] Honestly it would be better for us both to go over there and have her show me how to do it. She is the local expert in hooved critters.

[Deer] - Alright, come on Yaunfen, we're going for a walk

[Doc] We're taking the long route though. - Xe opens the door at the back of the room and holds it for them both.

[Deer] Walks through and starts heading along the path-

[Doc] Leads them past some rather oddly themed spaces and up through the freezer. Xe peeks out into the room from behind a large painting and sweeps Deerheart into a bridal carry to get her silently up the steps and out the back door.

[Yaunfen] Knocks a few mushrooms off the ground-

[Doc] Walks gingerly over the mycelium - wouldn't want you to get your feet all dirty before your pedicure my sweet.

[Deer] Giggles-

[Doc] Gets clear of the garden and changes to carry her more easily. Lifting Yaunfen to hir shoulders as well before charging off down the road-

[Deer] - I hope Lie's having better luck with her NOTCH...

[Doc] Same. He seems less aggravating at least....

[Deer] - Actually... I'm surprised we haven't heard more yelling from CP...

[Doc] He's probably still in shock.

[Deer] - He'll probably be really concerned considering his history with NOTCH's...

[Doc] I guess it could be worse. - Xe arrives at Lie's house- Lie?

[Lie] - By the dog pen!

[Doc] Slinks around the side of the building

[CN] Is hiding around the corner of the house, peeking at the dogs-

[Doc] Smells him immediately and sneezes-

[Deer] - Hello Lie, everything going alright?

[Lie] - So far...

[CN] - More monsters!- He pulls out his sword again

[Lie] - Put it away CN

[Doc] I'm not a monster... that kinda hurts my feelings actually...

[Lie] - CN, that's DN's Herobrine, xe has a second form

[Doc] Flips hir head a bit vainly, making hir mane toss and flow in the gentle breeze-

[Deer] - Lie, we have a favor to ask of you...

[Doc] I need some instruction from you actually.

[Lie] - What is it?

[Doc] Deerhearts hooves. They grew.

[Lie] - I'm sorry what?

[Doc] They grew. They're real hooves now. She needs them trimmed? I guess?

[Lie] Sighs- I'll go get my tools

[CN] Follows Lie as she goes into the barn-

[Doc] Loafs so Deerheart and Yaunfen can get down- Thank you Lie

[Deer] Slides down and helps Yaunfen down-

[Lie] Returns with two tools- Alright, first you're going to use the clippers and then the file to smooth out any edges

[Doc] Sticks out a leg so Deerheart can sit on it-

[Deer] Sits down- Okay, go ahead Lie

[Lie] - Um, no

[Doc] No? Why not?

[Lie] - Sorry Deer, but you're my friend and I'm so used to doing this with horses, I just wouldn't feel comfortable doing this to you. I'll talk you through this Doc, but I don't think I can do this

[Doc] Are you sure Lie? I don't want to cut too much.

[Deer] Bangs her hooves against the ground and a bit of dirt falls out-

[Lie] - Yeah I'm sure, and it looks like you may need to clean the hooves as well...

[Doc] How do you clean hooves? Do I need some kind of scrubby thing?

[Lie] Sighs again as she puts the trimming tools down near Doc- I'll go get a pick...

[Doc] Wait! You just need a little pointy thing?

[Lie] - A hoof pick, yes. The thing that's usually in my back pocket when I go riding

[Doc] I don't need a pick, I have a perfect idea- Xe gets a slightly wicked look and grabs Deerheart-

[Deer] Yelps-

[Doc] Flops over and holds her to hir chest with one big paw and pokes one of hir blunt claws up under Deerheart's hooves to pick the dirt out-

[Deer] Shrieks and squirms, finding the sensation very ticklish-

[Doc] Wiggles around with her, while chuckling xe's pretty used to controlling hir squirming mate-

[Deer] In a desperate attempt to make the tickling stop she changes into her dragon form-

[Doc] Is squished underneath of her and lets out a huge whooof of air-

[Deer] Pants, trying to catch her breath-

[Doc] Air please!

[Deer] - Sorry love- She stands up

[Doc] Pants underneath of her. Not the first time that's happened by a damn sight.

[Deer] Giggles- Sorry, that was just... Really ticklish

[Doc] I gathered... but at least we know my assumption was correct. You have way too much feeling up there for just clay anymore.

[Deer] - Do you have to do the other one?

[Doc] Yes, unless you want to do it. Your claws are the same as mine, apart from color.

[Deer] Whines-

[Doc] Do I need to restrain you?

[Deer] Tail sways a little- Maybe~

[Lie] - Not in front of the child!

[Doc] Lie, could you maybe grab a horse and just show me that way?

[Lie] - Yeah, let me see who's a little long...- She heads out into the pen and starts checking hooves before she returns with one of the paints

[CN] - That's too big

[Doc] The horse is too big? -Xe nuzzles Yaunfen a little-

[CN] Nods- She'll get hurt

[Doc] What, Lie? She's an expert.

[Lie] Briefly stops at the stable to grab a hoof pick and clean the hooves before bringing the horse over and grabbing the clippers. She ground ties the horse and picks up a leg, putting it between her own so she can see the hoof- Alright, first thing you do is clip away the hoof- She begins clipping, taking off almost a complete crescent and then what little was left, it's a bit thick, a pixel or so wide

[Doc] Watches fascinated- How do you know how much to take off?

[CN] Is making nervous noises-

[Lie] - Then you take the file, and you smooth down the edges. The amount to take off? Well, with horses you just get an eye for it, with Deer you probably remember how long her hooves were when you first made them so try to make them that length again. It's okay to leave them a bit longer if your not comfortable going that short, it just means you'll have to do this again sooner. Never go to short, you could run into blood vessels though

[Doc] Okay, I think I have it. Though... it might also require a babysitter...

[Lie] - I've already got to look after CN...

[Deer] - Perhaps for some time too

[Doc] I wasn't suggesting. I'll probably bug Steve. I doubt he's busy.

[Lie] - Alright, go ahead and make a copy of my tools before I continue with this guy

[Doc] Done and done. - Xe clicks on them and examines the small tools before putting them away. - And now... I think someone is reminding me of BEN a bit too much....

[Lie] Then starts working on the other hooves- So I've noticed...

[Doc] Shall I make some clothes while I'm here...?

[Lie] - Yes please

[CN] Is growling at the wolves-

[Doc] Watches him for a long moment and makes a pair of little blue pants and a black hoodie. - That should fit.

[Lie] - I'll see if Notch can't help him with a bath

[Doc] You're the one with the infinite water buckets Lie.

[Lie] - We may need to borrow one of the tubs in your home though, yours are heated

[Doc] How come you've never asked me to make you one? You have company often enough.

[Lie] - Because CP will usually just grab me and toss me in the lava, and the others in the house can't use water or lava

[Doc] It was just a thought. You're always welcome to use my stuff. Just know that DN has decided to just hang out in my house. We snuck out to avoid him.

[Lie] - Ah, duly noted

- MixMiner has joined the server-

[Lie] - Oh, Mix is back. That's good, I was a bit worried about her

[Mix]- in chat- someone remind me to visit Steve and TLOT later, I'm going to take a really long nap

[Doc] Oh good, I hope she found everything she was hoping for. - chat- I'll remind you later Mix. Enjoy your nap

[Mix]- in chat- thanks doc

[Gem] -is laying at the end of the tunnel freaking out because she saw the cn dn come in though chat-

[Firebird] *doin the hop through tunnel, poking at things and collecting things

[Firebird] .... *only to come across Gem. considers for a moment before carefully scuttling closer

[Firebird] *chirp chorp

[gem] -sees firebird and backed up against the wall and can't run she just cowers-

[Firebird] ... *chirps and eases closer, hunching close to the ground to hopefully seem unintimidating

[gem] -closes her eyes and puts her wings between he and the wall-

[Firebird] ... Chorp. *Just rests head very gently against Gem

[Firebird] ... Chorp.

[gem] -opens her eyes she is shakeing-

[Firebird] *just sitting there still, giving Gem the option to launch him like a fuckin' football if she's that scared

[gem] -tries to pet firebird but is failing her hand is shaking to much-

[Firebird] *sits there for a bit before turning his head and just bumping it to her hand

[Gem] -hugs firebird-

-Startled bird noise-

[Gem] -lets go and is very quiet- sorry

[Firebird] *gives vague wing gesture before resting head against her again

[Gem] I don't want to lose my wings again

[Firebird] *chirp

[gem] -curls up to firebird before finally crashing and passing out from staying up so long-

[Firebird] ...Chorp. *Just sits there with her, being a good cushion because soft bird equivalent to a feather pillow

[Firebird] ...... *eyes one of Gem's wings before leaning his head and boredly starting to preen it

[Gem] -is so passed out she doesn't even move-

[Doc] Quietly to Lie- If you think he'll resist taking a bath we could all just go swimming...

[Lie] - I don't think he knows what a bath is...

[Doc] So is that a yes...?

[Lie] - We'll see... Hey CN, could you come here a moment?

[CN] - Why?

[Lie] - Because there's something you need to do

[Doc] You're stinky.

[CN] - Stinky?

[Doc] You kinda... smell bad....

[CN] - Smell bad?- He sniffs himself- I don't smell anything

[Doc] Thaaat would be because you're used to it. Would you like to go swimming? It'd be fun.

[CN] - What's swimming?

[Doc] We'll show you. Come on kids, let's go to the beach

[Deer] Is happy that her hooves aren't being trimmed at the moment-

[Yaunfen] - Burp! Burp!

[Doc] Side-eyes Deerheart- Maybe I can scrub your hooves instead of using a pick...

[Deer] Squeaks-

[Lie] - I'll come watch, but that water's too cold for me

[Doc] Awwww.... hey I know! Lets go over by the bar! The water is warmer around the big lava tub.

[Lie] - Alright

[CN] - Bar?

[Doc] Hops up to lead the way, nudging Yaunfen a bit to get them walking- Just a place to get food.

[CN] Takes Lie's hand as they go-

[Doc] Leads them past the greenhouse and up over then hill, walking along the bitty river and under the bridge. - Here we go.

[CN] Is amazed by the size of the library- What is that!

[Doc] A place for keeping lots and lots of books. It's also a hangout for dragons sometimes since most of us like to read and the ceiling is really high.

[CN] - Whoa...

[Doc] Slithers into the water with barely a ripple and turns around to help hir child into the shallows-

[Yaunfen] Happily toddles in-

[Lie] - Come on CN, just step into the water

[Doc] Come on Deerheart, you too.

[Deer] Slips into the water, floating along it's surface-

[CN] Tentatively puts his feet in-

[Doc] You are so graceful my love- pauses- we have visible fish? But I didn't do the update yet?

[Lie] - Wait, what?

-there are some small silvery fish in the shallows-

[Lie] - Did something accidentally get let in?

[CN] When he does get in the water, it's up to his chest-

[Doc] Maybe? Those don't look like TLOTs koi

[Yaunfen] Snaps at a few fish-

[Doc] You may not like the taste of those little one...

[Lie] Is walking along the cobblestone edge of the lava pool-

[CN] - NO! YOU'LL GET HURT!- He lunges for Lie which surprises her and causes her to loose her balance, falling into the lava side

[Doc] Sighs - oh dear. Now you've made a mess. Poor Lie. - reaches down into the pool with hir paws for Lie

[CN] Goes to stick his hand into the lava to try and grab Lie despite the fact he knows he'll get hurt-

[Doc] NO THIS IS A JOB FOR ADULTS. - swats at him with hir tail

[CN] - NO! IT'S MY JOB TO PROTECT HER!

[Lie] Surfaces on her own- Well fuck...

[Doc] Deerheart? Can you keep him back please? - puts out a paw to help Lie

[Deer] Snags the back of CN's already torn tunic-

[Lie] - Doc, you do realize that as soon as I get out of here any lava on me is going to harden, right?

[Doc] Good point.. I guess just relax for a moment and let me think

[Lie] Waves a hand- Eh, just grab CP before we leave, he'll be able to remove the lava

[Doc] Well at least you're not cold. And Cn, don't yell like that.

[CN] Is still struggling a little- But... But...

[Doc] No buts. You yelling is what made her fall. She's a Herobrine. Lava doesn't hurt her.

[CN] Struggles a bit harder and his tunic rips so he falls out of Deer's mouth-

[Deer] - Oops

[Doc] Sigh- well at least he'll be totally clean....

[Lie] - Calm down CN, I'm fine

[CN] - But that stuff really hurt! How can it not harm you!?

[Doc] Because Herobrines have super high body temperatures. Pretty much anyone you meet with glowing eyes is going to be immune to lava burns

[CN] - That's not fair...

[Doc] I can put you in creative so it won't hurt you either, but you'll have to be super careful not to break stuff.

[CN] - No, I won't cheat!

[Doc] Cheating? Now that's a word I haven't heard in forever...

[CN] Softly- It's cheating... I know she can survive without it! She did before!

[Doc] Whoah! I did not say that Lie was in creative! She doesn't need to be.

[Deer] - CN... People change... It's been some time since you were spawned... That's time she's had to change into a different person

[Lie] - Yeah I don't do well in creative

[Doc] Well, she's not too different. Just... more sure of her own power and resourcefulness. How long have you been lingering, trying to get to her?

[CN] - Since she became a brine...

[Doc] Then your dilligence is appreciated. I think many others would have just given up and gone somewhere else.

[CN] - I... I couldn't not... She was all I knew till DN showed up...

[Doc] Pulls hir paws out of the lava and pads over to him in the shallow water. - Well you're here now, and both of you are pretty safe. So don't stress so much okay?

[CN] - But it's my job to keep her safe from the big meanie...

[Herabrine] Grabs one of Deerheart's back spines and pulls herself up to sit on her haunches- What big meanie?

[Deer] Yelps in surprise-

[CN] Quickly turns towards Hera and scrambles for his wooden sword-

[Lie] - Hey Hera

[Herabrine] Hey Lie. Out for a nice warm dip?

[Doc] Just swimming with the little ones - indicates Yaunfen happily paddling around-

[Herabrine] Who's the kid?

[Lie] - Accidentally, and that would be my NOTCH

[Herabrine] What the fuck?! That's a NOTCH...? Well... I guess it explains the bald head....

[CN] - Go away!

[Lie] Groans-

[Herabrine] No. This is the ocean, it's my native enviroment. Pipsqueak.

[CN] Scowls at Hera-

[Lie] - Hey Hera, he needs a bath

[Herabrine] Gentle or fast cycle?

[Doc] Hera....

[Lie] - Gentle, don't want him to end up like BEN

[Herabrine] Huffs a little and begrudgingly waves her hands like a conjuror doing a trick. A few little tentacles of denser water rise up and give CN a through washing-

[CN] Whines the entire time, trying to swat the tentacles away with his sword-

[Herabrine] Ah chill. I'm going super easy on you. - The tendrils finish their work and receed and Herabrine leans back on Deerheart. - I don't know how you're doing this little floating trick but it looks super artsy.

[Doc] Yeah imagine if the chickens could swim that well. They always look ridiculious bobbing up and down.

[Lie] Perks up- OH! Hera, Doc has something for you!

[Deer] - Um... I'm not sure actually, this is just what I've done from the start

[Lie] - That's how most waterfowl swim Doc

[Herabrine] It's nice. And what might that be?

[Doc] Grins and pulls out the Guardian with it's flashy mane and fringed tail.

[Herabrine] Freezes - Is that... for me?

[Lie] - Mmhm, I helped

[Doc] Nods. - Sorry I made you wait so long. Forgive me?

[Herabrine] Slides back into the water and flexes her monofin to shoot up next to Doc- Maybe...

[CN] Tries to hit Hera with his sword-

[Herabrine] Is bonked- Cut it out! Little shit!

[Doc] Don't ruin the moment CN, she's been waiting a long time.

[Lie] - CN! That's not nice!

[Doc] Passes the huge body into Herabrine's inventory. -Now just equipt it in your chest slot like a piece of armor. It will vanish after the first time and you'll have to practice shifting back and forth.

[Herabrine] Fusses around and suddenly transforms into the fish shape. She shakes out the fiery colored mane and does a graceful backflip in the water. - WOOO-HOOOO!!!!

[Lie] Laughs a little-

[Herbrine] Leaps fully out of the water and over Deerheart's back before shooting a scalding fountain beam high above and letting it splash back down onto her-

[Doc] You're welcome.

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professor-riddikulus · 7 years

Text

Craigslist - Ch 2

Summary: James and Sirius are looking for a roommate for their Los Angeles house - Remus has just moved from Dublin needs a place to rent while he goes to graduate school. One Craigslist ad later, the three of them find themselves living together and shit is bound to get complicated. Featuring trans Remus and the wonder of Wolfstar.

Author’s Note: I know it has been a long time friends, but I’m back! Hooray summer! I hope to be updating this more regularly now that all those pesky seminar papers are completed. I am sorry for what I assume is going to be the ridiculousness of this chapter. As you probably know, Sirius cannot be contained. Anyway, enjoy!

You can also read this story on FF.net or Ao3 if your heart desires

It took an hour for Sirius to take a shower and get ready, during which time Padfoot and I watched several episodes of some cracked-out show called The Amazing World of Gumball and I did the cereal dishes that Sirius had left behind. He came jauntily down the stairs, hair tied back and still damp, a loose black muscle tank on that showed too much of his strong tattooed arms, too much of his lean muscled torso. I tried not to stare. I probably failed miserably because he looked pleased with himself.

“I assume,” he said flipping his keys from one hand to another, “that we're not taking the bike?”

“Your motorbike? Nah I don't particularly feel like dying this afternoon.”

He made a noise somewhere between a snicker and an indignant huff.

“Fine the car then. But I warn you, it's a few years old.”

I, of course, assumed that he meant a few years old like Lily meant a few years old when she talked about her 10 year old crappy Prius. What he actually meant was a black Mercedes S-Class that probably cost more than four years of my graduate stipend and that was exactly 3 years old. It was so beautiful that I was actually nervous to sit in the seat. Opulence in most forms makes me uncomfortable -- my parents always made a tidy living but I was always the kid putting away coins for a rainy day. The responsible one. Some people are built to be pampered, can adjust to being treated like kings, to throwing caution to the wind. I never felt comfortable indulging -- instead I was the kid who didn’t want anyone to look at him when they sang a the happy birthday song. It isn’t shyness not really, it’s well, wanting to fly under the radar I suppose. Showing off what you have draws attention.

I just looked at Sirius and I knew this wasn’t him. He stood taller than me but his posture was proud. He wasn’t afraid to take up space, wasn’t afraid to be noticed. He had no idea that taking up that space, taking up oxygen, meant taking it from someone else. I was stiff and trying not to move my dirty shoes too much on the carpet, Sirius on the other hand was completely at ease, his ripped skinny jeans clashing with the dark brown leather of the seats. He was leaned back, reclined like his body itself was used to luxury. Watching him driving the 5 with his sunglasses on, singing along to some mindless pop tune, I had the distinct feeling that Los Angeles was not going to be anything like I expected. Sure they said it was a town for movie stars, but it’s difficult to understand how value works here. Some people have so much they don’t even notice how much they have. Sirius certainly didn’t. This guy, this house, it wasn't like being in another country. I have been to France once, and nobody there even spoke the language that I spoke, yet I still felt like less of an alien. How rich was this guy?

I looked down at my Target t-shirt, one that Lily and I had picked out only a few days before. It was my favorite, but next to the glamour of the car, the palm trees, and the guy sitting next to me I felt distinctly shabby. It wasn’t like I was usually fashion-forward. I do my best to stay at least a bit put together but I’m not a trend-setter. I’m sure his pants cost the same as my whole outfit. Probably more, actually. I tried to shake myself, there was no reason to be ashamed, and in any case he was the one being stupid by buying such an expensive car. I sighed, if I had that kind of money, even a quarter of that kind of money, there are so many other things I’d be doing with it. I’d be giving back to the community, I’d be working for a nonprofit, I’d be paying off my student loans. I’d be doing something, anything, other than buying a car that might be the price of a house anywhere else. The very thought of it made my nerves feel frayed. I was going to be living around this kind of wealth, benefitting from it even.

I looked over at Sirius, whose grin slipped a bit at what must have been a concerned or frustrated look on my face but which he quickly replaced the grin. Perhaps he didn’t want me to see his concern?

“You don’t like Drake? We can change the radio to something else?”

“Don’t worry mate, I’m good. Your car is really something.”

“Yeah it’s pretty okay. I bought it as a graduation present to myself.”

“Oh? Where did you do your undergraduate degree?”

“James and I went to USC together, that’s where you’re going, right?”

“Yeah,” I grinned to myself, I hadn’t even considered that Sirius had gone to college at all somehow, but if he did, USC didn’t surprise me. Lily told me that it had a bit of a reputation for being a school for rich American kids, especially west coast kids -- those Orange County, Beverly Hills, Malibu, rich kids -- someone like Sirius I guess, “I guess you’ll have to show me around at some point.”

“You’ll figure it out quick, s’not a big campus.”

I paused, weighing my options a bit. I chewed the inside of my lip. You’re being a coward Remus Lupin. He’s not going to think anything. “So,” I let the word hang in the air a bit, “do they have, erm, a big queer community there? Like among the undergraduates at least?”

Sirius smirked at me, “Are we gonna have that talk?”

I panicked, “What? What talk?!”

“I mean the, ‘oh-here’s-how-I-came-out’ talk. The ‘I’m-gay-you’re-gay’ talk. The ‘do-you-have-a-boyfriend’ talk.”

“I see no reason why we have to. All that is pretty obvious isn’t it?” I picked at the stray thread sticking out from the knee of my jeans but I could feel him looking back and forth from the road to me, trying to catch my eyes. I was embarrassed for a reason I couldn’t quite explain, sweating a bit, and not because of the heat. He looked at me like he was trying to read me, like he was regarding a particularly interesting painting and he wanted to examine the individual brush strokes. I felt on display under such scrutiny, exposed even, but I forced my eyes back up to his. He wasn’t going to see me squirm. I wasn’t going to let him affect me. He was just some spoiled kid from southern California. I was going to hold my own.

Sirius smiled, “Maybe not that last one. You haven’t picked up some all-American boy, swooned by the lilting accent of Mother Ireland?”

“Excuse me?” I laughed so hard at this abrupt shift that I needed a minute to compose myself, “What even are you?”

“I told you, wolfboy, I’m a star.”

“You’re something, that’s for sure.”

“Something amazing. It’s okay, I understand, words fail you.”

I shook my head at this, how I was supposed to continue the conversation after that, I had no idea. I had the distinct feeling that what was happening was something of a face off. He was taking the measure of me, wanted to see if I was going to keep up with him. It was the same feeling that I had when he fired his ‘interview’ questions at me. It was like dealing with a toddler that wanted to see how far he could push the rules. Luckily, I’m stubborn, and I’ve always loved a challenge. When I didn’t say anything, Sirius didn’t seem to have a hard time filling the void. He probably would have talked to the empty seat if I hadn’t been there.

“Yeah, it’s badass that you’re a big queer though. I was getting annoyed being the only rainbow unicorn in the house. Now we finally outnumber James and his dirty fucking heterosexuality.”

I laughed a little, “Yeah. In case he tries to convert us, strength in numbers and all that.”

“Oh don’t worry, he’s way beyond that. Literally all our friends are queer, he always complains there’s never anyone for him to date because all our female friends are lezzies. Dude that reminds me, we should definitely have a pool party to welcome you to the family.”

Literally anything but a pool party. Pool parties meant swimming which meant swimwear and I didn’t think we were going to be at that point for quite a while, if at all, really.

“I dunno, maybe in a little bit when I get settled and get the furniture built and everything.”

Sirius shrugged and ran a hand along the top of his head, pushing back the strands of dark hair that had fallen around his face, I think it was the first time that I hadn’t seen him smiling and I wondered if I had wounded him, “Yeah, ‘course. Whatever you want.”

We pulled up to the Ikea in Burbank and parked, and Sirius looked at me, wide-eyed and stunned. “Don’t fuck with me Remus, this…” he gestured to the giant blue and yellow building in front of us that was the biggest one I’d ever seen, “this is a fucking furniture store?! It looks like several goddamn airplane hangers put together.”

“Just you wait,” I told him unbuckling my seatbelt, “I have a feeling you’re going to lose it.”

I was not wrong.

“This is fucking NUTS!” Sirius leaned dangerously far over the escalator as we took it up to the second floor to start making our way through the maze of mock rooms that made up the Ikea showroom. I pulled on the back of his shirt, trying not to be distracted by the amount of tan skin this action revealed.

“You’re going to kill yourself. God Sirius don’t lean that far over.”

“Okay Dad sorry.” Sirius snickered but he stopped leaning over the escalator.

When we got to the top Sirius’ eyes lit up as he surveyed the floor full of mock-rooms and tiny apartments. “YOU COULD LIVE HERE!” He nearly ran to the first room, threw himself on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. I rolled my eyes and picked up a pencil and pad to record the numbers of the furniture. When I walked over to Sirius he was wiggling his feet and looking incredibly pleased.

“It’s like a goddamn Swedish Disneyland dude.”

I laughed, “And like Disneyland, we’ve got a long way to go, you can’t spend ten minutes sitting on every couch along the way.”

“This one is comfy though, you should get it.”

I turned over the ticket and laughed, “No way, it’s almost two thousand dollars.”

Sirius’ eyes got, if possible, even wider, “That’s it?! Dude that’s hella cheap.”

“Not at Ikea Sirius, you’ve got a lot to learn.”

“It gets cheaper?”

“Jesus you’re spoiled aren’t you?”

“Yeah well, I’m amazing so…”

“You’ve got to be kidding with me.”

Sirius looked me dead in the eyes from his slouched perch on the couch, “Absolutely not, I’m completely Sirius.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” I said exasperatedly, throwing up my hands a bit dramatically and trying to hide a smile, “I’m leaving your punny ass here.” I didn’t want to laugh but something about his mix of monetary ignorance and over-the-top childish antics meant that I couldn’t help it. You are not supposed to find him funny. He is a complete wank. He wants you to laugh, wants the attention. Don’t you fall for it. I wasn’t going to be just another sad sack who gave Sirius Black attention, even if I wanted to be. I started walking away towards the next room, which had a smaller sofa with shelves built into the side and back that was a bit more my style.

Sirius jogged to catch up with me and threw an arm around my shoulders, he was a few inches taller than me with a much longer torso and so his arm fit comfortably there. He smelled good, like rain and wood and cigarette smoke. “No one ever leaves my ass Lupin.”

“This is going to be a long day if you don’t focus and help me pick out furniture.”

“Okay,” he said with mock composure, “I promise to be on my best behavior.”

His best behavior it turned out, involved pretending that each room was part of his house, picking up everything that wasn’t tied down, arguing with me about the color of the upholstery, trying to wear curtains like a toga, spinning around on the desk chairs, forcing me to lay next to him on every mattress, climbing through (and getting stuck in) the children's tunnel, and generally making a fool of himself. I tried to contain the damage, shooting apologizing looks at passerby and generally steering him away from irate employees but it was difficult to try to pretend to be stern with him when I was snorting with laughter. When I pointed out that people were staring, he just responded shrugging and laughing “of course they’re staring, we’re gorgeous”. He was an idiot for sure, but you had to admire him for his general lack of fucks.

“I can’t afford that one, Black!” Sirius was sitting on the edge of one of the nicer beds in the showroom. This one was a mid tone warm wood with a dark blue upholstered headboard that looked like a lovely place to lean back on while reading a book. I really did like it, and so arguing with Sirius about why I wasn’t going to buy it was proving to be difficult.

“Remus it is only $499. And it’s the bed! It is the literal centerpiece of your life, sleeping, watching TV, fuck--”

“OKAY OKAY shut up oh my god those people are giving us the boss eyes.” I cut him off as a posh looking couple with a little girl hastily pulled her away from the madman and his terrible language, “Look Sirius I have to buy a whole bedroom and living room/office I can’t get the exact one I want of everything.”

“I’m just saying that other bed you wrote down looks like it would break if you were using it properly.” He had a point here, but the metal one was $350 less and that was a large amount of money for some fake wood.

I laughed and felt my cheeks getting hot, “I don’t think we have to worry about me using it for anything other than sleeping.”

“Please. You’re going to get so much fucking play in Los Angeles dude. You’re fucking cute.”

“Okay but we were talking about the bed.”

“Ahhhh,” Sirius looked satisfied with himself, one hand on his hip, “You can’t take a compliment can you?”

I was absolutely bright red at this point. I felt like his eyes were appraising me. I knew that look, I’d seen it before. “Sirius focus, the bed.”

“Well I still say you gotta splurge on the bed,” he said and he started cracking up, “Oh my GOD that sounded SO WRONG!” Then he laugh-snorted so loudly that across the aisle a woman started giggling. I laughed so hard I was crying and had to sit down next to him on the bed. It was several minutes before the two of us even calmed down enough to speak to one another and I was wiping the tears from my eyes with the back of my arm.

“Okay Lupin, I’m buying the bed.”

“What? You are not.”

“We’re roomies now right? Family. And I fuckin’ like you.”

“I mean I like you too so far--”

“So far? Fuck the hell off.” He looked actually offended so I tried once again to redirect his attention to the task at hand.

“I just mean it’s $500 Sirius. I can’t accept that, we barely know each other.”

“Just let me buy you a house warming gift. Stop making such a big fucking deal over it. It’s just money.”

“I can’t Sirius. It’s just too much money.”

“Okay well I’m buying this bed because the headboard is dope and I know you like it a ton more than the other one, AND because I’ve jumped on it and know it’s sturdy enough,” And the cheeky bastard winked at me again, “So if you buy that other shitty $150 one you’ll have two beds and I know that back house is spacious but I don’t think two queen beds would fit in it.”

What was I going to say? I could already tell by the way that he drew himself up when he said it, the way his tone shifted to all-business, (and I turned out to be right) that Sirius wasn’t the kind of person who takes no for an answer. He gave orders like someone that was used to having those orders obeyed. Someone who had heard ‘yes’ a few too many times. When he gets his mind stuck on something there’s no moving him. So I sighed and smiled at him.

“Okay. Thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

He stood, took the pencil from my hand and wrote down the number of the new bed on the pad that already had a long list of the other furniture I was buying. “Thank you will do, Lupin. Now let’s go get the last few things, you told me there’s ice cream at the end of this and I am all about that.”

He complained all the way through picking out rugs and curtains and throw pillows (I really like throw pillows okay?) but when we got to actually picking up all the boxes from the warehouse the biggest problem I had was trying not to just stand there and watch him load cart after cart with heavy boxes. Give me a break, yeah? He was showing a lot of skin and I’m on a lot of testosterone. Together we wheeled the loaded carts to the delivery counter (and went back for two more). A little more than $3,500 later, I had a bed, couch, bedside table, desk, two chairs, two rugs, coffee table, lights, shelves, TV stand, dresser, sheets and towels, comforter, curtains, throw pillows, a large cactus Sirius was calling “the scary phallus”, and even a warm blanket that reminded me of one of my favorite old jumpers. I had only spend so much money at once one other time in my life, when I bought a shitty old car my first year of uni from a kid that I had a crush on at the time. The car worked out, the crush...not so much.

I treated Sirius to an ice cream, which I figured was less than he deserved after spending five hours with me in Ikea and buying me a bed. But it was the most that he’d accept. I didn’t know what else to do. But he seemed happy enough, he did flush a bit red when I wouldn’t stop thanking him, so I guess he appreciated it even if he told me to “shut the actual fuck up”. Somehow he was still full of energy even after lifting hundreds of pounds of furniture and walking all over the certifiably biggest Ikea in the country. If I had been worried about how nice his car was on the way there, I worried less on the way back, leaning back into the incredibly soft seats and putting my head back felt like a reward after carting box after box to the delivery desk.

Sirius looked over and grinned, “Big day huh?”

I nodded, “I’m glad I only have one day until the mattress shows up, today has been a lot. The moving and the shopping and your bolloxology.”

“Um excuse me?” He laughed, “What the actual fuck did you just call me?”

“Bolloxology, you know, messing about. Your BS.”

“Holy fuck that is a ridiculous word.”

“You’re a ridiculous word.”

“Oh fantastic comeback, real smart. I can see why they let you into a PhD program.”

“You are such a muppet, and yes before you ask it means you’re an idiot.”

Sirius grinned, I had the distinct impression that he took most insults as if they were compliments -- a trait which made him infinitely charming, and infinitely frustrating at the same time. He turned up the radio and some alternative rock band was playing. As we sat quietly in traffic on the 5, the sun started to set, and it glinted deep red off the building windows, bathing the car in a warm light. It felt like we were glowing, the windows rolled down, the air just a touch stagnant between the hot cars. I felt a pang of homesickness. It was so different from the cloudy, misty-cool nights of Dublin, the old stone streets, the bustle of Grafton, the smell of the grass and trees in the park across from my favorite pub. I missed my warm jumpers with the permanent smell of tea clinging to them, the cigarette smoke hanging lazily in the air around the corner shop, proper chocolate. I missed stumbling out of The George at 3am scuttered as fuck all with my mates Sean and Frankie after a drag show and a heavy drinking session.

As excited as I was about the new furniture, the new graduate program, the new friends and colleagues, the new roommates even, there was something sad about the perfect California horizon reflecting the last glimpses of the day. Something huge and daunting about the hot city that made me feel a bit lost, as if between the picture perfect landscape and the rubbish in the gutter there was a facade that frightened and excited me in equal measure. It was all just so big. And I was holding on to a runaway train -- Los Angeles felt like a million miles away from home. This was what it felt like, I thought a bit ruefully, to be homesick. This was also what it felt like to make something of yourself.

We arrived back at the house when it was dark, after stopping to pick up food for a whiny James who was bored without Sirius around to annoy him. When we pulled up to the house I smiled, I still could not believe that somehow I’d gotten a spot in this mansion. I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for them to find out who I was -- emphasis on the was -- but maybe they were the good sort. Maybe…

Sirius opened the door, I didn’t have a key to the front house yet, and Padfoot came bounding out. James, hair wild, glasses halfway down his nose, was sitting on the couch in front of Comedy Central working on his laptop. He lit up when he saw Sirius which I thought was sweet until--

“FOOD!” He exclaimed gleefully. “Fucking finally! Oh god is that Golden Hen?! Yesssss.”

Sirius and I passed him several containers of Chinese food and he ate faster than I thought was humanly possible. How he could eat the amount meant for a medium sized family and be as thin as he was I have no idea. I've since learned that James is a human garbage can and his jittery, always-in-motion body consumes calories at an unbelievable rate. Some guys get all the luck.

“How did it go at Ikea?” He asked through a mouth of vegetable fried rice.

“I think it was quite an education for Sirius.”

“Did you know they have ICE CREAM there dude?! It's amazing it's huge and they have all these tiny apartments in it and they sell like pots and pans for like five dollars!”

“Yeah,” James replied nonchalantly, digging through a new container of food, “I went with the Dork when she and Marlene got their new place.”

“I saw their couch!”

“Sorry, who?” I looked confusedly from one loudly chewing roommate to the other.

“Oh!” Sirius dropped the spring roll he was holding. “James we should have them over tomorrow when Wolfram here has all his furniture delivered.” The conversation was getting further and further from something that I could track, it was like they were speaking their own language.

“Sorry,” I said, wincing at the apology, “but who are we talking about, and erm...did you just call me Wolfram?”

Sirius shrugged but there was a slyness to his eyes. “Marls and the Dork--”

But James cut in, “Marlene and Dorcas are our lesbian friends. Marlene went to high school with Sirius and I, and she picked up a girlfriend up in Berkeley. Marlene and Sirius used to date before they both caught the gay so they’re still weirdly in love with one another.”

Sirius shrugged again, “She’s a fucking bombshell, who wouldn’t be fond of her?”

“I certainly am, too bad she’s given up guys.”

I laughed at James, “Not for her, statistically women who have sex with women have way more orgasms.”

James looked affronted, “Okay, listen to PhD over here. But I’ll have you know, I’m a giver.”

“Where you stick your dick is neither here nor there --” Sirius started, but I cut him off.

“Yeah, apparently it’s nowhere at all.”

James threw a fortune cookie at me but I dodged left quickly enough that it merely hit the couch behind me. Sirius laughed so hard that he almost spilt his beer, “Well he’s got you figured out hasn’t he?”

James looked at him through narrowed eyes but said nothing so Sirius eventually lapsed into a teary-eyed silence. “Okay okay, but for real Marlene and Dorcas should come over tomorrow cause we can all build Remus’ furniture together. We were going to plan a party to welcome Remus to the family but maybe just do this on the DL. Don’t want to scare him too much.”

“You really don’t have to do that.” The last thing I needed was to be the center of attention. I wasn’t even adjusted to the two guys I had moved in with. Now I had to worry about impressing their friends? And I hadn’t had a moment to myself. I really thought I’d be building by myself, maybe some Netflix on my computer. But what was I supposed to say? They wanted to be nice. They wanted to make an effort. Come on Remus. You can’t move all the way to America and then not make a fucking effort to be social.

“I mean we don’t have to do anything dude. We’re doing this because you seem cool and we like to have a good time.” James grinned and ran a hand through his hair which left a piece of rice along his temple. I decided not to point this out but instead grinned right back at him. I caught Sirius’ eye who smiled conspiratorially at me, he’d clearly seen James make a mess of himself too. I knew immediately that he was also planning to let James sit there like a tool rather than say anything.

“So Marlene and Dorcas won’t mind helping? It is a lot of work.”

“Nah,” Sirius couldn’t tear his eyes away from the rice in James’ hair, he was not exactly the best at keeping a straight face but perhaps Sirius staring weirdly at him was routine because James seemed not to notice, “They’re lesbians they’re good at building stuff you know.”

I rolled my eyes, “I’m going to text Lily too?”

James lit up like a fucking ray of sunshine. I almost instantly regretted suggesting it. Things always get complicated when your mates want to bone one another, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to be totally outnumbered with people that I didn’t know and since I’d moved to Los Angeles, Lily was the only person I’d met from abroad. Sure she was from England, but you have to take what you can get when no one in America can make a decent cup of tea.

Sirius nodded, “I mean the more hands the easier it’ll be right? We can do beer and pizza and maybe even swim a bit.”

“I’m already texting the girls.” James was tapping madly at his phone.

That night, after stuffing my face with Chinese food with James and Sirius, I padded upstairs to sleep in one of the guest bedrooms after James absolutely refused to let me spend the night on the sofa. Despite myself I think I was already starting to like the two idiots. It was weird, I’d never had cis guy mates in Ireland that would stick around for very long. Something about my having a vagina. Sure there were lads that would return my texts periodically, or that were good for a pint or two. I don’t know what made them scare so easily -- I was still the same guy. I’d been lucky, I’d been able to pass as a (perhaps effeminate) guy for awhile even before I started testosterone. But it was always the same once they found out -- the queers, the ones that had wanted to fuck me, or to keep me around to see if they wanted to fuck me, when they found out that I lacked something they liked, that was enough reason to abandon ship. The straights, the ones that were good for a night out on the piss or that didn’t mind me when I was a winner for their team in football, they disappeared entirely. I was no longer one of the gang. Didn’t matter that the dosage I was on meant I had more testo in my system than some of them. I liked them, yeah, but I also didn’t want to get attached. Being attached, hoping for something more than a casual friendship with cis guys was like -- it was asking for heartbreak.

I waited until I heard the two of them head to bed before I stripped down to my boxer briefs. I lifted my arms and pulled my binder off slowly, peeling it away from my ribs and wincing. Too many hours in it today meant that I was probably going to feel it tomorrow. Even with the new ones I’d ordered there was always that inability to take a deep breath, the pull on the ribs that made you sore and sweaty after a long day in the thing. It was one thing in Dublin where it never got too hot, but here, where it seemingly never dipped under 70, adding an extra layer was tough. I touched my chest a bit and it was tender but I didn't think I'd have bruises. I thought about how James and Sirius had invited their friends over tomorrow and sighed. I probably wouldn't have much chance to go without the damn thing tomorrow either. Swimming? It was out of the question -- I was going to have to find a reason to pass.

I could have just told them when I came in for the interview. Lily never asked me why I didn’t even though she knew, for which I was grateful. I had been open with the department at USC, had even mentioned it in my entrance essay. I was working on trans and queer literature and film it wasn’t the most difficult puzzle to piece together. Somehow though, I just hadn’t been able to do it. I didn’t want to lose the chance at the room, and sure, I guess I liked them. Now it was as if I were keeping it from them. Every day that passed meant that I was going to get more attached to my new mansion, my new mates. It would be better to get it all out in the open now and find out if they were going to be phobic.

But now I’d ordered the furniture. It was coming tomorrow, and leaving was going to be a bit harder when I had a small apartment’s worth of furniture to move along with the boxes that were currently in the pool house. I ran my hands through my hair, trying not to let the fear that shot through me overwhelm me. Sirius was queer, he specifically asked for a queer roommate. It wasn’t going to matter. And anyway, there was no reason why they should find out.

#wolfstar #craigslist #sirius goes to ikea #it goes exactly how you would expect #marauder fanfiction #remus lupin #sirius black #fanfiction #trans remus #irish remus #american au #silverlake #los angeles #harry potter fanfiction #james potter #lily evans

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pywriting · 7 years

Text

Tide of Fate III

Two days had passed since the dinner, and still, Taliorinth found herself in constant company with others.

Two days, and she felt less and less comfortable with the company at hand.

Even still, she stayed and kept close to her sisters with the ever-remaining hope that this was the right decision, that the Oracle’s vision of the future had gone down the more favorable path. She did not want to lose anything, and so often she was told she could control her own fate, so she was. This surely had been the best way to do just that.

She told herself that time and time again.

She was doing right here. She just had to be smart about it. Had to get over small discomforts.

Small discomforts such as once more finding herself spending time with Nesrin.

Taliorinth had taken herself on a walk off to the beach, for a moment free of anyone trailing after her or herself trying to trail after another. She enjoyed the feeling of the sand beneath her bare feet, shifting and moving with each step she took. The warmth of the sun basking down on her skin. The salty wind brushing through her loose curls and cooling her down.

Her ears twitched, hearing something beyond the crashing waves along the shore and feeling the eyes that she knew were cast upon her. It was something she was still getting used to after so many years, but no longer something she was so scared of.

After the first night she had been approached by him, she had reminded herself of all the times she’d stared down worse with little care. Tried to tell herself it was just like that. Just another challenge she had to get over.

Times had changed. She had changed. They had changed.

She was no longer the woman who fled from the night they were to announce their engagement together.

Now, he was by her side yet again. His presence was intimidating in its own way, making her more uncomfortable than she’d really care for, yet she didn’t say a word. She knew better than to do such.

“Tired of chasing after your sisters yet again, Taliorinth?”

She frowned, disliking the way the man even spoke. Yet, in a short and quiet tone, she said, “I am just getting air. They are busy anyway.”

“That is what you used to tell yourself, wasn’t it. Before.”

She declined to answer him there, instead just taking longer steps along the shoreline, as if that would help her escape him. He had longer legs, and she knew it.

Before she could go too far, she suddenly felt his hand grab hold of her arm, stopping her in her tracks. She whipped around, looking at him with wide eyes as he kept such a strong hold on her arm. She looked from his hand on her and then up to his intense gaze.

“Taliorinth, stop running from me. We need to talk, and there is no better time than now to do so, and you know this. I have been patient for I know how hard these years must have been on you, but I am here now, just as you are. And here, your sisters are not looming over you, telling you what to say or do. So you will stop-”

There was suddenly a voice from her side, in a small satchel she’d been collecting things in and carrying other goods in. A rough deep voice of a man far more favored to the woman than the one that held her now.

Both of them looked to the side, and immediately she saw her opening. “I have to take that. It is important.”

Before she could even pull herself away, he suddenly tugged her closer. Grabbing onto her other arm lightly, he kept her far closer than she wished to be. She bit down the urge to simply toss him to the sand and run off, and instead was forced to listen as he said in a voice that chilled her to her core, “You will talk to me, Taliorinth.”

Gritting her teeth, she tried to pull away slightly, only finding that Nesrin tightened his own grip. She let out a breath, then saying, “Please…” She started, her voice wavering as she tried her damndest not to cause more trouble with this, “Please let me go take this. It is important!”

Nesrin frowned, clearly displeased by this response and starting to speak again. Abruptly, she spoke over him, saying, “I promise I’ll talk to you. Privately. Right after. I promise I will.”

There was a long, long moment between them that she didn’t know if he’d actually listen to her. Looking up to his gaze, she was only met with an unreadable expression that was lined with disapproval that caused her ears to actually wilt. She hated that look, yet she couldn’t escape it.

Suddenly, she was released, and he just gave her the look that she knew meant trouble. She had angered him, and as she backed away slowly, she felt a chill run down her spine. Instead of lingering there, she turned and went off, away from the shore and instead up to the slim forestline that laid at the edge of it all.

Each step she took, she knew his eyes were on her.

All the way…

… every inch…

… till she disappeared from his piercing gaze.

She was quick to hide behind a thick tree, slumping down against its rough bark and falling to it’s roots. She was a mess of emotions, half of her stating she shouldn’t be fearful and forget the past, while the other half screamed with fear and anger. She hated being that way, which made her all the more willing to speak with the man whom called her on the comm stones.

Reaching into the little pouch she carried, the glowing stone appeared and was brought close. Something in her told her to be quiet, to keep her voice low and soft, despite having snuck herself away already from that other man’s presence. As if he would just show up at any moment and steal away the time she had bought for herself.

Bringing the stone to her lips, she spoke, "Gabe?" His familiar, deep voice came quick in response, "Missed ye at the pathfinder meeting last night."

"Oh... was there one?"

"Aye," he remarked. "Missed a rather 'memorable' one at that." There was a short pause before he then asked. "Ye allowed to speak?"

She hesitated a moment, concerned about how she really must sound. How could she possibly explain to him why she was so worried about being quiet? What would he think? She didn’t want to make him worried. "Aye. I am. What was memorable 'bout it?" "Only that a few almost dropped dead from the Captain and woman driving them to exhaustion from lap running and the like." "Why'd they do that?" "Apparently, the Captain and woman weren't too happy with some 'incidents' that came up, so the whole unit was given a drill, perhaps to make them think on their actions better." "Oh... What other sorts of things did they make 'em do other than run?" "Well, climbed some stairs, swam across the bay, though some almost drowned because they couldn't fucking swim, did some pushups, and some other shit. Were exhausting, but weren't so bad." She smiled, unbeknownst to Gabriel on the other side. "That sounds kinda fun actually. Wish I could've gone... Would've definitely beaten you." A snort came in response. "Weren't a competition. Knowing ye, ye'd probably make me carry ye the whole way." She had to stifle a laugh at that, trying to keep quiet. "You'd've probably done it."

"Not likely," he scoffed in return. "Ye got ye own pair o' legs. Best ye keep using them or ye likely to end up being flabby with all the pampering ye getting." "Aye, aye…” She rolled her eyes as she spoke. Oh yes, because she was getting flabby with pampering. As if she’d just lay down and eat cakes all day. "Or heaven forbid ye dirty one o' yer fancy dresses now," he teased her.

She frowned at the thought, saying abruptly, "I ain’t gonna wear them if I’m gonna train." "Aye, but that's assuming ye ain't get caught up in drills at a meeting." "You think I’m gonna get caught in drills elsewise?" "Were hypothetical." Oh because that made so much more sense. She resisted the want to sigh at him.

"Well hypothetically speakin', I wouldn't be in a dress." "Good. 'Cause ye look unnatural as hell in one." "I think they look pretty." She tried to defend herself. She did like wearing them, feeling nice and pretty once in awhile. Just like her sisters… just like she wanted to be... "They do, aye, but you being in one be a strange sight." "Ain’t so strange. You're just not used to it." It made sense if he wasn’t. After all, most of the time he just saw her as some dirty little shipmate.

"Maybe not, but considering how dirty ye tend to get when ye be out and about and fuck who knows, be the furthest thing I be expecting ye to be wearing." She let out a soft snort, purposefully ignoring the ‘fuck’ part, "Well, I like them. Even if they aren't the best to actually do work or training or fighting in. They're pretty and they smell nice." There was some small silence before he then asked. "Ye prefer wearing them to ye usual?" He sounded so weird when he asked that sort of question. "Not really. Can't move as easy, plus I aint used to wearing them anymore. But it makes me feel...." She trailed off, staying silent afterwards. She felt mildly embarrassed just admitting how much she liked to dress up like them. "Feel what?" He asked, the obvious question that was going to come. "Nothin'." Tali shot back, trying to think of a way to get out of this conversation. "Pretty?" Then Gabe’s tone switched to something a bit more teasing. "Like an adorable lil doll?" Taliori let out a frustrated huff. Oh here it comes… She restrained herself from shutting off the communication stone right then and there. "How cute," he continued mockingly. "Are ye gonna tell me next ye be getting into them powders and lipstick and perfumes?" She just stayed dead silent. "That be what ye be enjoying now, is it?" Finally she just stated, "Aye. And lots of other stuff. Sorta." There was some brief silence before he then asked. "Like what?" "Other stuff. I dunno. I wanna hear more about what’s been happening out there anyway. Did anything else interesting happen at the meeting?" There was a skeptical silence, before he pushed on, “Well…” What else had been interesting? Oh right… “Suppose ye also did miss that woman giving me a good slap across the face.” Sacrificing some humility in order to keep her talking seemed worth it enough. Even if it meant more taunting. "Why'd she slap ye this time?" "Woman be ornery most of the time, so who knows. Must have been on her rag or something. " She snorted, "More like you were probably an ass." Gabe gave a snort in return. "Weren't doing anything any different than usual at those meetings. Didn't even say anything,"

"Meaning you were more than likely an ass." She replied in a flat tone. A scoff came. "Didn't even say a word. She just happened to pick me out the lot." Partially true.... partially not. "Did she? Did she -really-?" "Aye, o'course," he replied, not even missing a beat. "I ain't done shit." "You probably did somethin'." "Like what?" "Like what you always do." She said arrogantly. "That ain't explain shit," He grumbled something inaudible, barely picked up by the comm. Eventually though, he went on, "Were because I ain't say 'aye' to her when the others did. Didn't see a reason to." "Y'know she's technically your superior now." She paused, then with a small giggle she muttered, "Not like much has changed there, has it?" Taliori could practically feel the eye roll on this side of the stone, "Harr harr. Ye hilarious." "I am." she said proudly. "Regardless," he grumbled. "We ran, we did pushups, we swam, some complained, Captain and woman did some yelling, were about the geist of the evening. Then I went to go relax with a drink." "No woman, eh?" There was a long silence to her question. In fact, she swore she could hear a faint 'hmm' in the background, rather than an answer. "Well? Was there?" She was heavily interested in this, wondering if he’d actually found someone he tolerated enough to sleep with again. He needed to get laid, honestly. There was that faint 'hmmm' again before he finally answered. "Well," adding another long pause before continuing. "I weren't alone so... maybe there were one." She gasped excitedly, "Who!? Did ye really?! What did she look like?!" "Maybe if ye were at the meeting, ye'da met the lass," he replied with a snort. "So ye did!? Oh! Tell me!" "Hmmmm nah," he responded with a smirk in his tone. "Don't think I oughta." "oh c'mon... I wanna know!" She whined.

"Then maybe ye can wait til the next time I see ye, and then I'll tell ye all about the lass." "Aye but I wanna know -now-. Please?" "Then maybe ye ought to come back and visit soon," he replied, not budging. She whined again, "Gabe... I wanna know now. I don't know when I can come back yet..." "Why do ye say that? Ain't like ye be some kind of prisoner, are ye?"

Shit… she hadn’t meant to say something like that. "Well no. But.... I can't leave right now. It'd look real bad, and with how things've changed, I wanna make sure I can do something. I'm trying. But I wanna know!" Rather than answer her question, he pressed further, as would be expected, "What do ye mean? What are ye trying to do?" "Gabriel..." She whined again. "Tali..." his tone almost stern. "What do ye mean by that?" There was a small silence from her side, then a sigh, "Nothin'. I just wanna know, Gabe." "As do I," he responded back. "Ain't seen ye fer awhile so... I just wanna know what ye be up to." "Will you tell me if I tell you?" She tried, wondering how she could backtrack now. "Aye, but ye first." She huffed, knowing damn well he wouldn’t change his mind on that. She decidedly just went on, "I've been... I dunno, eating a lot. We go to the beach and stuff. We've had some of... uh... other people come by. People from a real long time ago... I've been trying to be on my best behavior... Making sure I can keep up and stuff with everything, since they talk about business a lot, and i'm not really good at that. Trying to be nice to everyone too, since they're so important..." She trailed off a moment, not sure how much to really tell gabe. "And that be all?" Gabriel’s tone suggesting he didn't quite believe her. "Mostly, aye." "Mostly," he repeated. "Be there something yer not telling me?" There was silence for a long moment before she said, "It doesn't really matter, nothin' you gotta worry about." "When ye say stuff like that, it gives me even more reason to worry," he shot back, followed by a sigh. "Ye ain't gotta hide anything, lil doll. Whatever it be, just be honest with me." There was another silence, then Tali let out a little sigh. "Just... I don't... know.... I don't even know much of how to say it... Just, there’s some stuff... Stuff I don't like, but that I should and I know I should. It's not right of me to not like it, and besides, after all this time, people change and all, you know?"

She hesitated again, slowly going on, "I changed... and so did they... so..."

There was a moment her words failed her, then she quickly tacked on, "Just difficult... I suppose..." There was a long silence following her answer that made her fearful he wouldn’t accept the answer. She knew he cared a lot, and his care did not extend to her family. If he caught wind of any trouble of any kind, he’d more than likely show up there.

"The way I see it, ye like what ye like and ye don't like what ye don't. Ain't no 'should' about it, no matter who be telling ye that or where ye be. Ye ain't got to like something and there be nothing wrong with that." He said with such finality.

"I just don't wanna cause a probl-" She cut off, suddenly realizing that someone was there besides her.

Unbeknownst to her, Laenetta had tracked her down and was looking at her with overbearing disappointment. Without a moment given to explain what happened on her side, the standing woman spoke, “Do you know how much you’ve worried everyone at the estate, Taliorinth? Why did you sneak off like that without telling anyone where you were going? I was told you ran off from Lord Thori’thal and rudely ignored him.”

“I’m sorry, Netta.” the younger woman said, her ears wilting down, looking almost embarrassed as she clutched the stone close to her. “I just had a call that came in, and it was just-”

She cut her off, instead going on her own, “Well, surely whatever it is won’t take you too long. You’ll be over soon, won’t you?”

Tali quick said, “Of course! I will. I promise, real soon. It’s guard business, that’s all, and i’m just checking in.” She tried to give a smile up to her intimidating sister.

Laenetta gave her a long stare and Tali fell silent. She started to move off, “We’ll expect you at home.”

Finally, when Laenetta was most certainly far away, Taliori let out a breath she had held and spoke in the stone again, quietly once more, "Gabe?" "Aye,” There was a hesitant moment before he went on, “But problem, or not, lil doll, ye gotta be true to ye’self and ye ain't gotta like what ye don't. Afterall, ye be loud enough to me when voicing what ye don't, aye?" He gave a short snort after that, though it carried with it some humor. "Aye... I am. But... it's different here. Ain’t as easy, you know? With you or the crew or any of them, it's just... you gotta be loud, ain’t ya? I mean, it's either that or you end up getting trampled and all. Here's it's... different." Second time she's said that. "It's... you know, like a game. A really big game that really smart people play. Like in the books and all, you know?" "Like court intrigue, y'mean?" he answered, though his tone was anything but happy. "Just what kinds of stuff they making ye do that ye ain't like?" She huffed, trying to play it off some and redirect the conversation quickly. "Gabe you promised to tell me." "And I'll tell when ye tell me!" "I've told you!" "Then answer my question! What are they making ye do that ye don't like?" She sighed, pausing for a long moment, then saying quietly. "It ain't that bad. Just be tolerating some people... tryin' to forget and forgive and all." There was a brief silence before the man pressed further. "Like who? what did they do?" "Just.... old acquaintances and all." If one could consider Nesrin simply an ‘acquaintance’.

"Don't have to forgive if ye don't want to. Just give em that prize winning smile that makes my coin purse lighter and curse them behind their backs. Ain't nothing wrong with that, it be the way of the court anyways."

As if it were that easy…

"Aye... but... I wanna try still. For my sisters." She spoke honestly.

"And I'm telling ye, it ain't bad if ye don't. There be some things people do that ain't worth forgiving.” "Aye, Gabe, and I understand... but the oracle said there was a choice. The time was now... and I don't wanna be makin' the wrong choice." There was a long silence to that before he responded. "Yer not planning on coming back to the crew, are ye?" There was a pang of guilt. Did he really think she’d do that? Just like the Captain did? "Gabe, no, that's not what I said. I don't..."

She hesitated before going on, "... I don't want -that- to be the decision. I don't want to abandon the crew..." A small breath was heard. A small sigh of relief. "Then... ye still deciding."

"I don't know what the decision even is, Gabe. I don't know anymore... all I know is... now is the time." A low snarl sounded from his throat, like a wild beast of some sort, "Ye ain't got to listen to the words of some damned witch, Tali. Ye fate be ye own and ye ain't have to give up either just because of some damned cards." "Gabe..." She said warningly, feeling honestly defensive of the woman and her readings now, "The oracles cards are real. They tell the truth." "Do they now?" he shot back. "So ye saying what they told me about ye engagement be real as well?" As soon as he said that, her breath pulled in.The cards had told him about Nesrin? About back then? When she was his betrothed? The fact that, by all technicalities, she truly still was? She was stunned silent for the moment, worried about all he might’ve known about it then.

"Fate be ye own, Tali. While I admit, that witches' cards can be scarily accurate sometimes, what I do know is, if there's any truth in them, what they show is a possible path among many. The choice still be yers." Slowly, swallowing down, she said, "Aye, Gabe. And I know that and I well and mean to remember it. There ain’t a bad part of me trying to do right by my sisters, and just enjoy some of the time that I get with them now, is there?" "Ain't a bad thing, no, to just want to enjoy the company of those ye care about. What is, however, is sacrificing ye own happiness fer it. Just don't want ye doing things ye ain't like just because they tell ye to, understand?" "I'm doin' 'em because I wanna, Gabe. Ain’t sacrificin' nothin' but a bit o' comfort. Times've changed, ain’t be th' same." There was a moment of silence at that before he then said. "Maybe so, and maybe times have changed, but ain't always mean gotta go along with it." There was a slight pause before he went on. "Just worry about ye is all. Haven't seen ye in a bit, and so, suppose... ye be missed."

Another pause, before he then asked. "Ye planning on coming back anytime soon?" She didn’t know the answer to such a thing, and taking in a deep breath she started slowly, "I suppose it depends. This trip isn't over yet, and I don't really wanna leave quite yet. I've been having fun and all, but I do sorta miss you all." "Keep me updated, aye? Then ye can tell me all about it as soon as ye get back. I'll even buy ye as many peach pastries as ye want." She had barely even heard him, instead, her gaze focused once more on Laenetta whom had reappeared. She looked very unhappy with her, and there was a particular look given to the stone in her hands, "I..." She paused, unsure if she should speak to Netta first or Gabe, eventually favoring the man on the stone, "Aye... I will." "A promise then." Then a short pause. "Keep ye’self well, lil doll." Laenetta’s brows rose, her arms crossed as she just waited and watched. Taliori knew her time was up with this, slowly answering Gabe, as if it would extend the chat just a bit more, "I will. I have to go, Gabe. I'll talk to you later." "Later then," he responded, and then nothing. "Bye Gabe." She said, almost sadly, knowing it would be a bit of time before she’d be able to talk to him. She made the right motion to turn the stone off, and then lowered it to her lap, looking to her sister that awaited her.

Without a word, Laenetta held out her hand, waiting.

It wasn’t a gesture to help Taliori up. No… it was for the stone. She was not the smartest, but she knew that much.

She wanted to argue against it, try and tell her she hadn’t meant to disturb anyone with a simple call, but she knew it wouldn’t make a difference. She’d done this to herself, after all. She cursed herself, thinking it would have been better to have just stayed on the beach with that man’s hand on her arm, keeping her with those intense eyes.

Slowly, she pulled the stone up from her lap, looking over it once more before she slowly handed it away to Netta, watching as she gripped it in long, beautiful fingers and tucked it away expertly in her lavished clothes.

Even as she took the stone, she didn’t leave, instead looking down to Taliorinth with a raise of her brows. “Now, you should go apologize to Lord Thori’thal and get ready for dinner. Otherwise, Vesthiriel might find out, and light knows how she’d take to hearing you ignored our very esteemed guest for your friend who just wants you to leave us early. It breaks my heart that you’d talk about that… after all we’ve been doing to make sure you’re having such a good time together with us… with your family.”

She let out a sigh, “I suppose i’ll walk back home alone.” She sounded woeful about the fact, causing Taliori’s heart to tug.

Quick as lightning, she pulled herself up and ran towards her sister, “Netta! I-”

She stopped as the other woman paused, not even looking back to her. Only a small flick of her ear gave a notice that she was paying attention.

“I’ll go home with you. And… I’ll go talk to Nesrin immediately. I don’t mean to make it seem like I don’t wanna be here, it’s just… Gabe… just likes to… to tell me about updates of what happened with the guard and all, you know?”

She let out a huff. “I suppose if you want to see it that way. Though they do take so much time away from spending more with us… especially with how much time we’ve made for all of us to spend together… as a family.”

Netta’s head lowered, and tali’s ears pinned down. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she quickly moved forward and grabbed hold of Netta’s hand, gripping tightly and moving to stand in front of the woman.

“I’m sorry, Netta. I’ll make sure to appreciate more of the time you’ve given for this. I know how busy you both are… I’ll be better about it.” She tried to smile, getting one from her sister.

@jessipalooza @sakialyn @stormandozone @forever-afk for mentions

Tide of Fate Story Index Here

#Taliorinth Rosespear #Taliorinth #Taliori Dewblossom #Taliori #Vesthiriel #Laenetta #Nesrin #Gabriel Shadowdrake #Gabriel #tides of fate

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ekebolou · 7 years

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It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything substantial. Last night, though, I stayed up because I felt this one coming on, and am honestly just so pleased to have done it. It’s not much - its a wholesale rewrite of the scene in the Tenor Group stories where Seth and Decon first meet. But I wrote it, and I like it, and it’s been a while, so I’m sharing it.

Hope you like it.

This was an 80s movie.

Decon thought about putting his mask back down, walking around the blind, and restarting this shit all over again. Because this was the kind of thing that happened in 80s movies, and he was pretty much not up for those sorts of shenanigans.

She was beautiful. She had on tight jeans that went down the middle of her shins and flat shoes – but she was leaning up against the door frame while she waited for Dr. Branniwick to get his attention, which meant her legs, and he liked legs, showed off their shape. The shirt was one of those flowery things, with the weird fit, but since she was also wearing a little blazer he was pretty sure it wasn't because she was pregnant. Not that he had to worry about that.

Should put his mask down and go back to welding. Ran a hand over his sweaty face and tried to blink away the lingering over-brightness their slow adjustment to normal daylight called. She still had that weird, perfectly back-lit look, which combined with her slow-motion casualness and general good looks was primarily to blame for him thinking he was suddenly in an 80s movie.

Or porn.

Despite being a seventeen year old boy, he wasn't up for that either. And, despite being raised by Jesuits, he knew exactly what sorts of shenanigans followed that up. And, because he was raised by Jesuits, now he felt both guilty and rude.

Both because Branniwick probably thought she was pregnant, and because he tended to look on verbal communication as suspicious and possible the work of the devil, Decon just held up his hand to indicate he needed a breather and stepped away from the good doctor. He pulled off his gear and laid it on his table, because Branniwick's dirty look could be absolved with a good seam, and he couldn't fix a fix a first impression. For reasons unrelated to shape of her legs, this first impression felt ominous and important.

He had no idea who she was. She showed up in his shop class, unescorted and asking for him by name. Suspicion wasn't as much in his nature as wary dread, but the type of catastrophe such a messenger conveyed escaped his imagination.

She stood away from the door frame and put her sunglasses on top of her head as he approached. She smiled, but it wasn't quite friendly – it was a sort of smile he was used to. She stuck her hand out like a social worker, too, and introduced herself.

“Hi, Decon. I'm Seth.”

“Hi, Seth,” Decon replied, wiping his hand on his pants before he shook hers. “Nice to meet you.”

“Maybe,” she replied. “We'll see after we talk for a bit. I don't think what I have to say is necessarily something you like to talk about.”

Despite the many loud bangs of hammers on things both metal and wood, Decon was keenly aware of the fact that everyone – including Dr Branniwick – was risking fingertips to keep staring holes in his back. “Let's talk in the hallway.”

Though knowing better, he turned as if looking for Branniwick's attention and waved to communicate his intention not to go very far, or immediately start shooting heroin or engaging in hooliganism as soon as he was out of the classroom. The teachers, especially the good doctor, generally trusted him not to, at this point, but they couldn't show favoritism.

Seth preceded him a few feet down the hall. Decon took his time following. The school had been built in wings, so all the classrooms opened to the outside. The heat of the day felt pleasant next to the heat of the shop.

Seth had turned, and waited patiently for him to amble over, that half-smile still lingering like the afterimage of lightening before the slap of thunder.

“There aren't a whole lot of topics that are off-limits to me,” Decon said. Would this be a situation where he was supposed to comfort her, or she was expecting to comfort him?

“I didn't say 'off-limits',” Seth replied. Maybe she hadn't waited so patiently. “I said that you didn't like it.”

“You're going to have to tell me how you could guess that, since we've never met,” perhaps a bit too defensive, but she was creeping him out a little, “that I can think of.”

“We haven't.” She frowned a little, then tugged off her blazer, threw it over an arm. The shirt had no sleeves. “But there's a file on you. And I've read it.”

Files were bad. No – talking about files was bad. Files were good. Files were what told you that this ten-year-old bit like a rottweiler. His file...

“That's still not meeting, you know.”

“True,” she said. “Which is why I'm here.”

“It's sort of rude to read someone's file without their permission, and then assume you know them.”

“No, it's rude to talk about it. Everybody reads files.”

“I read remarkably few files in my daily life.”

“You have my permission to read mine.”

She was... perceptive. He still felt doom squeezing down on him, but he was smiling about it. “I don't know even know where I'd find such a thing.”

“That's not quite true,” she said. The smile she flashed at him was not the underbaked thing from before, but the sort of thing one woke up to the smell of and ran downstairs for. “I'm sure the brothers at the orphanage have probably let you in on the inner workings by now, if you didn't just figure it out from all those people from the state that dropped in on you.”

“Wow, so this got creepy really fast – and speaking of dropping in...”

She did not rush to fill the opening he left her, instead making him sweat over that little smile a moment – long enough to convince him she wasn't jumping for anything.

“They weren't from the state,” she said, and her smile dropped. “I'm sure you've realized that by now. Everything I've read indicates you're a pretty smart guy.”

“I think you read the wrong file.”

The look she gave him was actually a little withering. “I would think you, of all people, would realize how much against us the deck can be stacked.”

He looked at her again. “Us?”

“Islanders.”

That was it. Doom. His skin prickled. The wind got cold. “Now, I don't think–”

“I don't think you like to talk about it. I don't know why that is, but I can guess. And I can also guess that you know how extraordinarily lucky we are.”

“Lucky?”

She was looking at him. He looked away.

“I'm putting together a team,” she said.

“A team?” He raised his brows, in what he retroactively hoped was not an offensively disbelieving way. “You?”

She didn't look offended. Her tone made her sound offended, by sounding as unoffended as possible. “I'm acting on behalf of Bernhardt Tenor.”

“Bernhardt Tenor?”

She sounded less unoffended. “Mr. Tenor is the sponsor.”

He held up a hand, stared at the grass a moment. “Forgive me, this is all bit much to take in. How about you start with what you mean by 'team.'”

“It is what it sounds like it is,” she said, her tone subdued. There could have been a lot of reasons for that. His sense of doom, so acute a second ago, had faded, but not his suspicion.

“Okay, because it sounds like crazy talk. I know that's kind of a dirty word these days, but 'Islander' has been a dirty word a lot longer. And nobody's put 'Islander' and 'team' together in the same sentence since, I dunno, like 1950, when we were still dropping a-bombs and eating cherry pie every night.”

“That's not entirely accurate, but I understand your implication,” she said – he had a feeling he'd just been roundly insulted in some extremely particular way. “The last official 'team' of Islanders was run by the government, and ended in 1979. Since then, there's been unofficial pairings and vigilante groups, but nothing serious, or with any larger impact than to upset some city cops.”

“Like, really upset cops. And like, with dead people. On every side of the equation.”

“These were poorly organized,” she said, in that way which uses the hardness of a statement to engrave it in the stone of fact. “And, also, tended to lack funding. We have funding.”

“'We' don't have anything,” Decon said, “and I don't think you're talking to right guy about this at all.”

“In your file–”

“Are the many times I've failed freshman English? How I can't even get a G.E.D? How I spent the first twelve years of my life labeled 'intellectually disabled' until they could change that to 'genetically unfit'? Did you even read my file?”

She was staring him down again – that same look, that made him feel, not ashamed of himself, but ashamed for himself. As if his summary had somehow offended her.

“You're technokinetic.”

“You shouldn't use big words here.” Besides – pretty much the only time he'd heard that word had been when the 'people from the state' had visited, and they had followed it up with shaking their heads and quietly mumbling 'retarded' before abruptly leaving him be. Then again, that was how most adults had reacted, before he'd let go of the idea of he should try to be adopted.

“Do you have any idea how useful an ability like that could be?” she asked.

“Do you have any idea how useless it's been all of my life?”

Then, at once, her eyes narrowed, she let out a little breath. “Well, you pass shop. A lot. Anyway, your ability is not actually why Mr. Tenor wants you on the team.”

“It isn't.” Decon said. “The multi-billionaire stock-guy or whatever he does isn't looking for a way to turn whatever I've got into some kind of profit-making deal. That's not what's happening. That's not what you're describing.”

She took a deep breath, folding her arms. “Actually, no, though I know that's difficult to believe. Mr. Tenor's goal is, actually, for him to have as little personal involvement as possible. He wants to be able to write off this particular venture as a charitable mission. He's willing to invest considerable funds into it, but the remuneration will be handled through other channels.”

“And that makes it pure and good?”

“That makes it malleable,” she said. “And that makes us – potentially – powerful influences on how pure and good it turns out to be.”

Decon paused. He stepped back, towards the edge of the concrete and the sunlight. It was starting to feel hot, even to him. Walking closer to the breeze felt better.

This was too odd. This was way, way, too odd. This was also... weirdly fitting. Tempting.

He was going to age out soon. That thought he stored somewhere in the back of his mind, like the kid-size Bruins jersey he'd gotten when he was five. A lucky break in the donation bin. Brother Mateo practically clocked the guy carrying the bin in to save it for him.

She wasn't saying it, but she knew it, if she'd read his file. She knew he had nowhere to go. How much was she banking on that?

“So, what, I'll be Mr. Tenor's mechanic?”

“No,” she said. “We chose your file specifically because your experience helping at-risk youth. One of the thing the Vets do when they drop in on an Islander is determine how much of a threat to society she is. To do that, they take a lot of testimony and talk to a lot of people, and they do it over several years. Your evaluation noted the way all of the priests mentioned your ability to empathize and work with your peers, some of whom were very troubled. The consistency of this testimony is part of why you're not wearing a hospital gown and shock collar in a cement bunker right now.”

“They don't do that,” he said, reflexively. It was refreshing, though, that she looked at him like she knew this to be a lie, and knew why he'd say it. Another Islander certainly would.

“What do you do?” he asked.

She blinked. “I'm pyrokinetic.”

“The hell you say.”

She nodded, then, slyly, though not shyly, she brought up her hand before her chest, palm cupped towards the sky. With a little gasp, it was suddenly filled with fire, rolling, twisting, twining tightly around itself in variegated white and orange ferocity before she winked it out.

“How come you're not in a bunker?”

“I have a strong desire to help others,” she said. “And my mother is a lawyer.”

He nodded. “So what's this team doing, anyway, if not playing with powers?”

“We're helping people.” She straightened her back, presenting him with that formal, social-worker attitude again. “Formally, we'll be working at the Amelia Tenor Peer Engagement and Assistance Center, as the Tenor Group for the Assistance of Young Islanders.” She dropped back into at-ease. “Informally, in order to give himself a 'cause' sufficiently individualized to increase his notoriety while also improving public opinion on his ethics, Mr. Tenor has agreed to house, bankroll, and support this group. He has also, however, left its organization and mandate largely up to me.”

“A teenage girl.”

“An exemplar, whose past behavior earned his confidence that I would not endanger his image,” she nodded. “I have no intention of doing that. But this will not a be a softball charity. We will help other Islanders. We will improve our overall image in society. We will do good.”

It was a warm again, and now he knew why. Now he also knew how a teenage girl could convince powerful adults of her absolute sincerity.

“Okay,” he said, then held up a hand, “I'm interested in helping. I'm not sure about all this, but I am interesting in helping.”

Even so soon, though, it was clear she didn't expect his caution to last. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a card – an actual, honest-to-God business card. “Here's my number. Call me when you'd like to talk further.”

He held the card up a little bit to the light, feeling the cardstock – a real business card.

“If you're worried about my intentions,” she said, looking at him cautiously, “you can come by the Center. I'm already set up there. I said you can read my file – you can access a copy there.”

He nodded slowly. Did she ever accidentally set them on fire? “What if it's not you I'm worried about? I think it's a little more practical to worry about the billionaire.”

Looking off to the side for moment, she considered this. Her eyes leveled on him as focused and as firm as they'd been all throughout their talk. “When you come to the Center, I'll show you who else I'm trying to get on the team. I believe you'll worry less about Mr. Tenor's ability to bully us after that. Plus, Decon,” she knit her brows, “I can set things on fire at will.”

He raised his brows, but all he got back was the abrupt return of that glorious – and now, slightly frightening – smile.

“Come see my plan. You'll like it, I think,” she said. “Nice to meet you, Decon,” and without waiting for his reply, she turned on her heel, and walked away, calling over her shoulder “I'll see you at the tower.”

Tower. She'd said 'center' before. He'd pictured a youth center. Now he was meeting the mysterious, beautiful, superpowered woman at a billionaire's tower, to talk about saving his people.

80s movie?

80s movie.

He'd been thinking Weird Science, but maybe it was more Never Ending Story. He'd take Never Ending Story over Weird Science any day, but it was no Willow. The Brothers really needed to update their collection, but since it was all donations – and honestly the piece of equipment that operated the best was the VHS player – there wasn't much to be done. Still.

Tapping the card against his palm, he turned back for the classroom, but kept an eye on the empty hallway through which Seth had left.

Whatever was going on, he wasn't Atreyu.

#The Tenor Group #things that I wrote

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omgnsfwisnsfw-blog · 5 years

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NSFW #15: Melon’s Creed

The Carmel Bunkers on Turó de la Rovir. Stone barriers overlook the great city of Barcelona. John Bishop Church quietly admired the breathtaking view on this day just on the precipice of the sun setting. He leaned over the wall and seemed oblivious to the camera filming him. He had the hood of his light grey jacket up. His boots and the bottoms of his blue jeans were covered in dirt from the hike to this locale. He spoke out into the ether. “Hey.” He spoke in a conversational tone and let that set in before continuing. “This whole thing has been a humbling experience. In this last year, I’ve had the privilege to do what I’ve always wanted to do. And to enter into a partnership that has been absolutely exhilarating to be a part of. Since NSFW’s humble roots, we have scraped and clawed our way to the top. There has been a common thread throughout. Somebody somewhere has claimed that they do what they do for a divine purpose.” He scoffed. “Whether it be the megalomaniacal ramblings of a prophet, the dissidents of chaos …” John sighed, perhaps perturbed at the mere mention of this. “...or the machinations of the melon gods. Such grand proclamations are fruitless in the face of the golden standard of tag team wrestling. Now, Mike …” There was a pause. He pushed off of the wall and turned around - looking to the stairs that descend down the hill. “Mike?” “Dude!” The redhead, backpack over her shoulders and clad in a grey unzipped hoodie over a Carlos Ruiz t-shirt, appeared over the crest of the hill a moment after her name was mentioned, puffing a bit as if she’d started running as soon as she realized how far she’d fallen behind her partner. “My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours, man. Phew…” Catching her breath, the Bronx brawler raised a hand, wiping some sweat off her brow. “Besides, I kinda got distracted. You won’t believe what I found. It’s full of so much crazy shit, I dunno if I can look at the world the same fuckin’ way again.” Reaching back, Mike unzipped her pack and pulled out a large, dirty, ancient looking book, fraying at the corners and tops of the spine. Embossed on the cover, with traces of nearly worn away gilding, are the words ‘ARCANA CUCUMIS’. “What?” Coming the rest of the way up and leaning against one of the curved concrete walls, Mike flipped the book open with care, as not to jar any of the yellowed pages loose. Shifting a bit, she beckons her partner over, holds the tome up, and points at one of the pictures within. “I found this in the catacombs when we split away from the tour group to… when we split away from the tour group. Look at this shit. It’s like, all of the Melon Club’s fuckin’ secrets. I had no idea they went this far back and had their nasty vines stuck in so much stuff.” “Oh no.” John placed a hand on the page, obscuring its contents. He looked at his friend with concern. “This is Leviathan all over again.” “Nah man. This is worse. They’ve been in all of humanity’s fuckin’ key institutions. Look at this for example.” “These fuckers killed JESUS, man. I mean, according to the text here, fuckin’ Judas served him that melon, ironically enough, right before the big J.C. said one of his people was gonna betray him.” John gave the warped portrayal of the Last Supper a once over. “So Judas was part of the Melon Club.” His tone was deadpan and in no way inquisitive. “Exactly. But it doesn’t stop there. Look here.” “This guy, I’m sure you know, is L. Ron Fuckin’ Hubbard, the nutball behind Scientology. According to the book, people have been misunderstanding his writings all this time because of an elaborate cover up. See, Hubbard didn’t really mean Xenu. He meant…” She jabbed her finger at a specific spot on the image. “...honeydew.” John was exasperated in his own diminutive way. “The Melon Club are pulling the strings of the billion dollar multinational religion because?” Mike shrugged. “Power. Control. Y’know, all that shadow ops supervillain shit. And it’s not just the major stuff either. I mean, take a look here. I really feel bad about this one considering week before last…” She flipped a few pages, landing on a classical Grecian image. “The Eternal Circle are unknowing followers of the melon gods.” “Exactly. Sad, but true. I guess they gotta come to terms with that now.” ”Mike.” It was like a plea to come back to reality. “Look. Religious iconography has been changed to suit the needs of whoever used it. I’ve never been much a believer. I mean, maybe something exists. But all along its been the melon gods?” His fingers gestured dismissively at the book. “This … doesn’t make any sense.” “Yeah, I mean, I guess that’s true. But the thing is, it’s not just religion that these fucks have been manipulating. See? I mean, I know you for one are gonna be seriously pissed at this one. See, it looks like around 48 BC, the ancient Roman scholars were on the tail of uncovering the whole Melon conspiracy before it overwhelmed everyone. Luckily for them, no less than the Roman emperor, Julius Caesar, was a devotee and he made sure to have the entire library burned to the ground before anybody could find out the truth.” John’s bottom lip quivered slightly upon looking at the image. “All of that knowledge.” But he shook his head. “No. So next thing you’re going to tell me that his assassination was ordered when the Melon Club had no further use for him.” Mike snapped the fingers of her free hand. “YES. Exactly that. And it’s not the only assassination they’ve indulged in either. I mean, Arya herself’s a trained killer, it shouldn’t be that big of a shock that these people have bumped off anyone who was a threat to their fucking organization.” Mike grimaced as she flipped the page again. “They never did figure out who Oswald was working with. Or for. And that one picture of him, people always thought it was altered in some way. Well it fucking was. See?” “The Melon Club assassinated JFK.” “It’s the only thing that makes fucking sense. I mean all this time. All these theories and debates and discussions. The Zapruder film analyzed frame by fuckin’ frame. And all this time, Oswald was a lone gunman cuz only a Melon Club trained assassin could pull off a ricocheting shot like that.” “But… why?” Mike exhaled, then drew a breath in. “Because they fuckin’ can. Because Kennedy’s embargo on goods from Cuba was hurting the fuckin’ melon industry and that’s how they spread their fuckin’ propoganda. All those sweet, juicy cantaloupes, canaries, and watermelons that people gobble up without a second thought, not knowing every last bite is only serving the forces that control their entire fucking lives.” “Mike. I don’t know what to say. Maybe we’ve been lied to.” “You don’t know the half of it. It’s to the point now that they’re just meddling in things just to make everyone miserable. The Super Bowl a couple seasons back. Patriots vs. Falcons. The Falcons had the Pats dead to fucking rights. Brady was getting his stupid handsome face shoved in it and it was glorious. But then after the half they mounted this miraculous comeback that by all fucking rights shouldn’t even have been fucking possible. How? I stayed up fucking nights, man. I had no idea how the rug got yanked out from under the Falcons so utterly. But now. NOW I know. Look at this. The absolute bastards.” “I have no clue what you’re talking about.” “Oh yeah. You probably didn’t see it. Trust me, you’re better for it. It fucking sucked. Tom Brady is an asshole. He’s the absolute fucking worst human being ever shat out onto this sorry planet and the sooner everybody realizes what an overrated piece of crap he is the better.” John closed the book. The pages gave off a fine poof of dust as they slammed together. “Okay. So The Melon Club are zealots who throughout time have manipulated the world in every which way possible.” And then he pointed to Mike and himself. “And acquiring our tag team championships are now part of that great design?” “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be? They have their claws in everything else. Why else would people trained in the fucking deadly arts be getting in the ring with us?” “And so we are the only people standing in the way of a new dark age?” “I mean, I found this thing in a crypt if that tells you anything. We know too much. They’rereally gonna want to take us out now, cuz we know how dangerous they are and we’re telling the whole fucking world so.” Mike glanced at the camera, brows knit in a very concerned fashion. Her fingers twiddled nervously between each other. “They’ve been here for months. Walter and Arya Melon. Mixed results. Between the bouts of tedium and fruit puns, I’ve inclined to tune them out. They win one tag match. Against two teams that chose to not take them seriously.” He placed a hand on the book. “We’re taking the Melon Club serious.” John joined Mike in looking directly at the camera. “Dead serious.” “To be frank, I underestimated you guys. My partner didn’t cuz he’s smarter than I am, but I looked at that three-way and you were the last fucking people I thought we’d wind up fighting. Shit, I’d already done some studying and had to throw it all out the window. The fact you pulled that shit out is proof you shouldn’t be taken lightly, whether or not you guys are part of a giant all consuming conspiracy wrapping the world in melony dominance.” “I thought we were going to have a viking problem on our hands. But instead, two cunning opportunists came away with the victory. And speaking of opportunities, it’s clear that through the facade, you two are students of the game. We know what you see as an opening.” Mike gave a firm nod, reaching up with her left hand. Her fingers were free, but the palm and wrist were done up in a cast, by now liberally covered with the signatures of friend and fan alike. “I’m not gonna pretend to know what you think of us. It’s probably better for everybody’s fuckin’ sanity that there’s no telling what’s going on in those, heh, melons of yours. But like my partner said, I know, we know, what you may be thinking about doing. Let me tell you for one, this hand? It ain’t gonna be a fuckin’ issue. Better people in this business than me have defended titles with far worse fuckin’ damage. It ain’t gonna slow me down.” She twiddled her fingers and then balled them up tight, forming a fist around the covered palm of her left hand. “Yeah. We’re not mind readers but we know what you want. And there is no fucking way in seven hells that you’re gonna get it, not at WrestleFest and not ever. You’re welcome to give it a shot, but a lot of teams have tried, and they’ve all met the same fuckin’ end.” The plaster casted fist slammed into the opposite palm. “Knocked for Six, kneed in the face, Cherry Bombed, put to sleep, and checked by the Bishop and the Queen.” “That’s not arrogance on our part. That’s just what happens. What will happen. And I get it. You two think you have divine providence on your side. What bounty have the melon gods gifted your little club? A middle in the pack finish in the Rumble. Trading victories with Frankie Romono. And now this. An opportunity.” He reached behind him and shoved the book out of the sight of the camera. The focus was solely on Bishop Church, Mike McGuire, NSFW, the EWC World Tag Team Champions. A leveled gaze from Church was directed to the challengers. “An opportunity to be a footnote in our history.” Folding her arms as best she can, Mike gave a firm nod. “We’ve worked too hard and come too far to have it end here and now. Nobody’s found a way to fuckin’ kill us yet and neither will you. No assassins, no kooked out religions, and No Schemes of Fucking Watermelons are going to take us down. But if you really think you can?” Her grim expression melted into a smirk, a brief ‘heh’ slipping from her lips. “Come and get it, ya fuckin’ fruits.” John looked at his partner, eyebrows raised. “Wait, what?”

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