#alterhuman journal
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alterhuman journal - #1 - "common" theriotypes
I've decided I'm gonna start typing out my thoughts when it comes to being alterhuman because I still feel like there are a lot of things I still haven't figured out yet. :'D this is just the most convenient and quickest way I get to jot down thoughts and feelings. Feel free to read, no pressure to interact but a like is appreciated!
A huge problem I have with the therian community in recent times is the emphasis on "common" and "uncommon" theriotypes, like being a wolf/cat/dog vs any other animal. It really upsets me because I'm sure it makes a lot of people insecure about their theriotypes, including myself. :(
As of lately I've been feeling a drift between myself and my maned wolf theriotype. I get a feeling that it doesn't fit anymore, or that it never fit in the first place and I just didn't want to be "like everyone else". I knew I had a canine theriotype, but of course I didn't want to go to the gray wolf immediately because "everyone is a wolf", right?
It also got me thinking about how my theriotypes are even a thing. Like, how did I end up this way? I've been reflecting on it a lot recently and I think I'm starting to create a better picture of why I am the way that I am.
I think I experience therianthropy in the spiritual AND psychological way for different species. I believe my deer theriotype to be spiritual, 100%. I was a deer in one of my past lives; to me, that's what makes it make sense. But I believe my canine theriotype is different, I think it may be psychological?
I believe it stems from when I was young, with unrestricted access to the internet, lol. I didn't have many friends as a kid and spent most of my summers alone, at home. I took comfort in YouTube, watching artists animate their OCs and write stories of wolves and cats and dogs. I would draw my own on MS Paint with a mouse. It's all I really had, since I didn't have much in the way of toys either. The toys I did have were of course also animals.
Basically, I think I kinda imprinted on animals? I rarely was interested in media that had human characters as a kid. I only cared about humanoid characters if they were anthros, or an elf or something. Perhaps it stems from how other humans treated me as a child? I'm not sure. But I know from a very young age that I just couldn't relate to humans the way I would with animals in media. A lot of talk on why wolf/canine theriotypes are so common comes down to the media, and I do agree. Canines have been a close human companion for a long time, and I believe humans and canines share more similarities than people realize.
I don't really know where else to go with this entry, but that's what's been going through my head lately in regards to therianthropy. I'm still trying to find my canine theriotype, but for now I usually tell people "wolf", even if it isn't entirely accurate (yet). Don't be afraid to let your identity flow and ebb, otherwise you're just chaining yourself to the past.
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the funniest therian misconception for me is the idea that every single one of us believes in our theriotype as being a past life, because that’s not at all a universal belief
even if i believed that the kind of werewolf i am has actually existed on earth—which i don’t—my past life isn’t my current life. being a werewolf in this life is like an overlay. seeing that part of my identity when you look at me is like looking at me through a stained glass window and seeing that i am both the glass and the figure behind it, but i am also the way each color shifts in the sunlight, and the way the light touches my skin
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i think one of the most prominent alterhuman experiences for me is that…fuck, you know what? i won’t editorialize this part. i’m having a really difficult time phrasing it as “being a werewolf,” not because of a lack of truth that it’s my authentic otherkin experience and has been bubbling under the surface for at least a decade, but because there’s a lot of denial and shame about it that i still have yet to unpack. i look at others and have a lot more respect and understanding, like i easily offer them grace and recognize that they know their experiences best. yet, i can’t offer that to myself. i’m not sure when that will happen for me. i don’t really know how to begin.
but anyways, one of the most prominent experiences for me is that shifting is integral to the werewolf. the human aspect feels no different from…well, from my human self, however you’d refer to that. and the phantom shifts and mental shifts i experience aren’t a shift into “some human guy who is also a werewolf.” the shifts are directly into the ‘beast’ aspect: the claws, the teeth, the primal instincts and perception of the world, fur and digitigrade legs, the need to howl and growl and run free. it’s all part of those shifts.
i’m sure this isn’t uncommon, but i’d love to hear other perspectives. maybe it would help a little bit, knowing i’m not alone in this.
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Sorry for being so inactive lately... been busy irl, and have been meaning to post here more often, but also, like... I always feel a bit shy approaching the 'kin communities on here because it kind of feels like everyone is sort of... "internet poisoned"? For lack of a possibly-better word. A lot of folks here on tumblr in the 'kin and alterhuman communities are children, and a lot of more prominent community figures treated like "elders" are only about my age or younger, and it feels really strange, to be honest.
There's a lot of discussion of feelings and terminology, but very little "lifestyle"? It's like there's a universal expectation for everyone to just figure everything out on their own; you get some definitions here and there yeah, but the amount of variance says much more loudly "just figure out what it all means on your own, pal". ex. Not only can no one actually explain what "otherhearted" actually means sans relation to otherkin, but it feels like I never see anyone talk about dealing with what one could call "kin feels" in the workplace, when unable to acquire your habitat, etc... Othercon is online-only, and while I'm pretty sure I'd be unable to attend an in-person event, part of me has a hard time feeling like everyone is really taking it all seriously and is really unafraid of being "cringe" when obviously it's so much easier to act like you're so confident online. I kinda feel like meeting some wolfkin stereotypes in a park for snacks and doing a group howl would do more for me than years of reading essays on tumblr ever has.
I dunno, I tried watching a recording of an Othercon panel I felt would be relevant and useful to me once, and was floored at just how... utterly useless it was. Despite its promising title, it was just shallow "you're valid" garbage and internet discourse... Makes me feel severely alienated, to be honest.
#'youre valid' this 'just journal' that I'M ALMOST 30 WITH JOB AND TERRITORIAL why doesn't anyone have anything irl useful to say to me#otherkin community#othercon#alterhuman#otherkind#otherkin#fictionkind#fictionkin#I'd LOVE to visit the Silver Elves or something just to see someone in person who I know takes this stuff seriously#like... people who are actually trying to live AS their kintype and I KNOW they are. because all this online posturing makes me feel alone#but they're in HAWAI'I and so I can't just take a road trip + am not Doing That to the already-colonized-and-sick-of-tourists-Hawaiians
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Therian journalling prompts/ideas
make up or learn a secret cypher (i use an altered version of greenrune), find the coolest looking journal you can or make one yourself, and write everything you want, your secrets, your dreams, your therian experiences all without having to worry someone will read it. seriously. it's incredibly freeing!
doodle and describe how you feel yourself. a human? an animal? a mix? do you see an animal on two paws, or perhaps a human on all fours? get as creative with this as you want
make a scrapbooking spread. make it messy or neat, all to your preferences. add everything you possibly can think of in there that reminds you of your kintype, be it dried plants, colored paper, pictures of nature, or maybe even scraps of fabric. draw the paw/feet/similar identifying trait of your theriotype over it all. make it yours
do you have any gear, or want any? why or why not? delve into that thought, and see where your mind takes you. it's always alright to get off track
dedicate a page or two to your theriotype(s), with information you know, things that remind you of them, perhaps add images or drawing of the, as well.
what was the best/most fun shift you've ever had? why? what caused it? try to replicate it and see how it goes!
do you like to/want to do quads? make a tracker for what days you try, and keep notes of what you do well and what you need to practice more!
in similar suit, track your shifts, along with what kind of shift it was, what animal you were, what you believe triggered it, and how long it lasted. it can help you learn more about what kind of shifts are typical for you, and predict shifts a little more
territory. do you have any? do you remember any from animalistic memories? would you like some? plan ahead! scout out areas nearby, print pictures of it, and draw over areas you'd like to create. think that mound might look nice with a den right next to it? want to have a quads obstacle course? maybe an area where you can sit and do homework or relax? note all the ideas down, plan how you'll mark your territory, and draw any elaborate plans you may have!
list a few meal ideas for yourself that work with your theriotypes! if you make them, write about how they tasted!
Feel free to suggest more ideas!
#therian journal#therian#theriotype#therianthropy#alterhuman#alterhumanity#otherkin community#otherkin#nonhuman#journal#prompts#therian prompt
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Therian Journal 5/6/24
so! I’m doing this now! I’ll hopefully do a couple journal entries a week and I can put em all in a master list or something.
I’m not sure what other people put in their therian journals but mines just gonna be about my life, my therianthropy, and stuff like that
okay this evening I went on a walk with my dad and my dog up at the nature preserve near my house and it was super fun! I rolled down a big hill and my dog barked at me :3
here are some pics I took!
Dandelion closeup
pawprints in da mud!
mucky pond
talllllll grass
next>>
#therian#alterhuman#therianthropy#otherkin#otherhearted#canine therian#furry#alterhumanity#canine theriotype#dog therian#Russet’s therian journal!
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to all my therians with a therian journal, what type of things do you write in it? i saw someone on here talking about it and i think i want to start one!
#therian#otherkin#dogkin#therianthropy#alterhuman#caninekin#nonhuman#dog therian#canine therian#otherkinity#therian journal#therian community
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On Questioning An Archetrope
So I'm turning over the concept of a potential paladin (or something similar) archetrope in my brain now.
I have... kind of always viewed myself as a guardian. I've been the Mom-friend, the one people go to for advice, for practically as long as I can remember. I have a protective streak a mile wide, partly due to my territorial instincts from my dragonself. I don't really want to talk about it publicly, but suffice to say that growing up I had what I would now, for lack of better words, call a rich imagined reality wherein I (and my few closest friends, though I hung onto it the longest) was a capital-G Guardian, a hero of blade and armor, a protector of the world.
Later on, in high school, those same friends and I took on a more realistic protective streak, primarily in the form of a habit of adopting girls who a) had just been through bad breakups and/or b) were being harassed/stalked by creepy boys and literally bodyguarding them throughout the day. I still fantasize about scenarios where I get to protect people, often strangers, on a regular basis, for no real reason other than it makes me feel good. I want to be that. I want to be a protector, a shield and sword for those who need it.
My first D&D character was a paladin, and a fairly stereotypical one (although not fully Lawful Stupid). Shail is a tiefling who was abandoned at a temple doorstep as a baby after they were born, raised by one of the priests as their father, and later took up arms after being inspired by a visiting paladin and took the Oath of Devotion. They were my first experiment with they/them pronouns. I am realizing their choice of class may also have been a bit of projection.
I don't know how much of this is inherent to me and how much is something I chose and how much is something I want to choose.
A brief tangent: it so happens that I very recently saw the musical Man of La Mancha, which is based on Don Quixote. While I was vaguely familiar with the story of Don Quixote, I'd never actually read or seen it in full in any form until now. I did not expect to be as touched by it as I was. Don Quixote is... for all we often make fun of him for the windmill incident, ultimately I think Don Quixote is someone we could all stand to learn from, and perhaps even to aspire to. To stubbornly, doggedly, adamantly adhere to honor and justice and a view of the world where good prevails in the end, to fight for what's right no matter the odds, to swear yourself to these things despite the way the rest of the world laughs at you - perhaps the world would be a better place if more of us were Don Quixote in this.
"A quest?" "How you must fight? And it doesn't matter whether you win or lose, if only you follow the quest."
"To dream the impossible dream. To fight the unbeatable foe. To bear with unbearable sorrow. To run where the brave dare not go. To right the unrightable wrong. To love pure and chaste from afar. To try when your arms are too weary. To reach the unreachable star."
Perhaps the recency of this exposure to Don Quixote, and my thoughts and feelings about it and about him as a character, is influencing how I'm reacting to the exposure to archetropy. Or perhaps my reaction to Man of La Mancha is indicative of my resonance with Don Quixote as someone I would argue has an archetropal identity (if of the Knight Errant rather than of the Paladin, though the two really aren't that different) himself. Perhaps both.
Either way, I think it's an admirable thing to take up such a mantle in the face of the world's cruelties - to take up the Guardian's armor and sword again, illogical as it may be, and to aspire to such a lofty ideal as this despite the way the world may consider it foolish or daft.
(And there I go getting poetic prose-y again. Perhaps that's also part of why the paladin archetype appeals to me, ha. I have been known to monologue.)
Even my job can be argued to fall into the paladin - a healer, a helper, a servant who at least tries to value The Good Of The Patient above all else. it's not quite a guardian role - but then, a paladin is often a healer as well.
On top of all of that, there's the fact that when I, out of curiosity and experimentation, put a major problem of indecision I've been facing regarding my current job hunt through the lens of "what would a paladin do," it immediately answered the question with "wouldn't let the difficulty of the task scare them off." Which didn't completely solve my problem, but solves a good solid chunk of it.
So it appears that this may be a helpful tool for me. Even if the thought of "what would Xenk Yendar do" is a slightly silly one. (And yes, Xenk Yendar is an extremely good representation of what paladin looks like to me - and perhaps it's telling that I really latched onto him as a character almost instantly upon watching Honor Among Thieves.)
Perhaps my one big hesitance to latch onto the paladin archetype is the religious connotation of a paladin - while I suppose my relationship with Asclepius could qualify, under the "paladins are also often healers" thought, Asclepius does not cover most of what draws me to the paladin archetype. But a paladin doesn't always have to be religious; in D&D paladins technically draw their power from their oath, Xenk Yendar comes up as an example of a paladin who doesn't obviously seem to have a particular god, and besides none of the alternative archetypes I'm finding or coming up with fit quite as well. The Knight Errant is close, but requires wandering in a way I am thoroughly uncomfortable with (I am still a territorial beast at heart) and also implies seeking evil rather than defending from it.
So... perhaps that's not as big a block as one might think. I'm going to chew on this a while longer, and I'm certainly open to suggestions on similar archetypes for my consideration, but... I might have tripped into a new alterhuman identity. Oops.
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i meet myself in my dreams sometimes. we talk. once he sat me down dressed in a black cloak and asked me who i was going to be. of course, i cried, "but I want to be you!"
and he replied, "me? why?"
and that smile -
#spirit mutterings#spiritkin#spacekin#starkin#alienkin#voidkin#angelkin#fallen angelkin#demonkin#divinekin#wolf therian#wolfkin#alterhuman#therian#otherkin#kin#dreams#dream journal
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Pen sketch of myself in my journal from work
#i literally just talk to myself about being a were in my journal#werewolf#werewolf kin#lycanthrope#lycanthropy#alterhuman#otherkin#wolf therian#whats he yappin on about
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Alterhuman journal ideas!
By a person, who just started a journal :D
A general "about you" info page
When was your awakening? (for ohterlinkers: when did you start?)
A list of your fav alterhuman idols
Small drawings ("feet" prints, your true looks, alterhuman symbols, flags, ect.)
If you experience shifts: When did it happen? How long it was? What kind od shift? What caused it?
List of your gear, or a list of gear that you want/plan to have
Info about your therio/kin/linktype
STICKERSSSS
Short entries, like: how was your day? what unusual happened recently? Your emotions
A term list with definitions
What do you like/dislike about your human body?
#alterhuman#otherkin#copinglink#copinglinker#linktype#otherlink#therian#theriotype#kintype#ideas#journal#journal ideas#entry ideas#writing ideas
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one of these days i’ll make an actual kinlist i suppose? a few are hard to pin down, so generalizations work for those, while a couple are a particular species. so for example, the most prominent would be “The Werewolf” as a creature and its many iterations. pretty broad, right? think of it this way: the snarling, howling beast that sheds its humanity and becomes one with the wild? that’s me. the werewolf who’s basically just a big dog in terms of behavior, who would kill to lay in your lap and receive pets? that’s also me. i’m the church grim that guides and protects the dead by night, and the priest who leads and comforts the living by day. i’m the king of the werewolves, whose wisdom flows so sweet, whose honeyed words can drop you into a trance if you let them, and at once the humbled royal, who learned old folk magic from the wild things and preserves its rituals and remedies, who is a loyal servant of the forest, the river, the living and the dead.
i’m the werewolf that inherits the curse/the blessing/the Way of Being from a bloodline, but also the one that gets scratched/bitten by another to force the change. i’m the one that’s given the power to shift by a goddess of the moon, or learns from the wild things, or gets caught stealing from the Good Neighbors and is punished accordingly. i’m the werewolf who gets captured and caged, and the one that gets away; the one picked apart by underpaid scientists and the one welcomed into the king’s court.
on some level, it’s psychological, like an identity built up upon metaphor. it’s my bipolar disorder, rapid-cycling, a pain in the ass and a genetic certainty from my father. it’s also the trauma i have from his abuse—echoes from his own father’s hand, and his father before him. it’s something that comes and goes like the moon cycles, like hypomania and depression and the blessed breaths between. yet it’s also what shifts in me when i’m overcome with rage, or with righteous anger. possessive lust, or protective love. uncontrolled mania, or healthy, normal excitement.
yet, it’s something more than that. it’s the way i exist in this world as a queer person, as a nonbinary butch, as a sapphic who goes by he/him, as someone who becomes invisible when pushed into a binary. i live in liminal spaces because it’s my nature. to call me “human” or “beast” without acknowledgement of the other is an insult. i break binaries. i complicate things. i frustrate closed-minded people because they want me to just pick a side. my sex is “depends on who’s asking.” my gender is “undefined.” my sexuality is “it’s gay when i love women.”
i experience phantom shifts, mostly uncontrolled but not always. sometimes it ripples through my body, like what you see in the more visceral werewolf films. sometimes it feels more like a natural body overlaid on top of my human one, like a comfortable extension of me.
that’s not even to touch on my practice with Hel and the werewolf motif that has permeated so much of that practice. this post is, frankly, long enough as it is. i’m gritting my teeth as i set aside all i’ve written about being a boundary-breaking, eclectic dedicant of Freyja. i hope that this might become a rough, rough draft for something more substantial i’ll write someday. who knows? if you’ve made it this far, i’d love to hear your thoughts.
#alterhuman journal#otherkin#werewolfkin#alterhumanity#psychological otherkin#i’m hoping to get some eyes on this so please feel free to reblog!#i hope the readmore makes it easier#tbh i can get very long-winded so i like to give folks the option lmao#alterhuman
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cw for brief mention of self harm, discussion of intrusive thoughts
for me, there’s a huge overlap between my experiences with being autistic and my alterhumanity. i’m not sure the two could ever be meaningfully separated, really. when i get frustrated or overwhelmed, when that rage builds up inside me without a release, sometimes that’s also accompanied by a slight phantom shift, and i can tell for a fact it feels distinct from the times when that doesn’t happen. does that make sense?
there are times when the rage builds up and boils over, and i just feel like a pissed-off human with no clear outlet for my anger. and then there are times when the anger feels the exact same, and maybe even has the same trigger, but it’s just so much more. it’s like i can feel that feeling of sharp claws forming at the end of each finger, muscles in my back and arms rippling like they’ll burst from my skin, canines protruding into sharp fangs, that sort of thing. it’s visceral, almost painful sometimes. if it gets bad enough and i’m at home, usually by this point i’m back in my room, gripping the edges of my mattress. and if i’m not lucky enough to have something to lock into a death grip, my thighs or the sides of my head can become a target if i’m not careful
there have been times it’s brought me to the floor, back arched in one way or another, breathing heavily and even growling sometimes. it always happens in private, too—i have way too much shame about it to ever let someone see me that way. at least, i know a few people saw me go through it as a kid, back when that sort of thing was chalked up to “kids are just weird.” even just typing it out on here, i can barely read over my own words without feeling that smothering shame. i’m far more understanding of others having similar experiences. why can’t i offer myself that forgiveness?
depending on what caused the anger, intrusive thoughts become an issue, too. if it’s a person or animal who’s causing me sensory overload, the thoughts are violent, unbearable. normally it manifests in a very “human” way: “god, i wish i could take a bat to your head” or something. during a phantom shift, those thoughts almost always manifest in more animalistic ways, using claws and teeth as weapons instead, with no clear words to describe the desire
it feels like i’m using a more passive voice to talk about this. “intrusive thoughts become an issue” versus “i have intrusive thoughts.” it hurts me to admit as much as i already have, much less center myself in the experience. i’m not really sure how to end this. i guess i might journal more about this, idk
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Otherkin Rambles (TW: slight cursing)
Hello otherkin community! Welcome to my journey of figuring out what the fuck is going on with my soul.
since I was a child, I’ve experienced mental shifts and various animalalitic behaviors. Hissing, barking, nesting, collecting shinies, etc. To list them all would take me a while. I’ve always felt wolf-like ears atop my head, wings on my back, and a tail that swishes around. Horns sometimes too, and sometimes it’ll be a mermaid tail instead of a “wolf” tail. I’ve shifted into deer, wolf, dogs, reptiles, dragons, angels all without much control over it.
I speculate I most likely have quite a few theriotypes and otherkintypes(?), but nothing feels just right. I’m hoping maybe I can discover what I truly am with the help of this blog.
pronouns: He/him
antis DNI
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just because I’m otherkin doesn’t mean I’m also not a human!
I am shapeshifter at Heart. Ive lived a thousand lives as a thousand different things. I’ve stumbled through forms like a tumbleweed, or swam briskly through them like a river. I’ve even been places/things that aren’t necessarily ‘alive’! I’ve done it all.
we are the mask and the wearer. everything you pretend to be becomes part of who you are.
each of my past lives is with me today in some way, as this one will be in the future. I am just as much a Human as i am all the things that came behind me. if I get reincarnated once again, I’ll be humankin. that’s just the way this river flows.
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Transition Goals
Doggo
Wear collar more often
Get a new collar
Wear ears more often
Get a dog bowl
Get a cage & make a nest in it
Crow
Trinket collection
Learn to croak
Make accessories with black feathers & crystals
Cockatiel
Wear more color + colored make-up
Sing more often
Learn to chirp
Clown/jester/bard
Find my clown name
Learn magic tricks
Learn the ukulele
Learn a few songs completely by heart
Learn flow arts
Learn some acrobatics
Make clowncore outfits for everyday wear
Make my first clown outfit
Shapeshifter
Learn make-up
Diversify my wardrobe
Learn to make patterns & clothes for myself
Learn voice acting
Typing Quirk
Write with it more often (but translate it when asked tho, bc accessibility >>>)
Fictional Kai
WIP
#jackai talks#jackai's journal#jackai shapeshifts#aldernic#alterhuman#otherkin#therian#arisomei#transid#rqc#rq#🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓
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