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hannieehaee · 5 months

Text

NO SONG WITHOUT YOU

18+ / mdi

summary: with zero experience or interest in the romantic aspect of his life, jihoon finds himself in an unexpected situation when his company decides on a collab between the two of you, not expecting the work-addicted producer to develop a bit of a crush on you.

content: idol!jihoon x idol!reader, afab reader, pining, jihoon's emotionally constipated, jihoon's pov, kinda inexperienced jihoon, smut, dry humping, oral (m receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 12.6k

a/n: this is probably my fave fic i've written so far!! love writing for jihoon aaaa anyways i hope u guys enjoy <3

masterlist

Jihoon was tired.

Beyond tired, actually. He couldn't remember the last time he'd left his studio at a reasonable time. He knew people on twitter made jokes about him being a bit of a hermit, with fans being able to spot his studio from outside the building, lights always on and indicating the producer was still inside.

He didn't have much of a valid excuse for this, other than being a 'workaholic', or at least that's the term Joshua had recently introduced him to, describing him as the prime example. Jihoon just couldn't help himself. He'd been like this ever since he could remember. If he had an idea, he had to work on it. And unfortunately for him, he was always full of new ideas. If Seventeen was releasing an album, that meant Jihoon already had enough material to fill up the next three albums backed up in a file somewhere in his computer.

Despite always having music prepared months in advance, - even having solo music up for grabs for whichever member desired it - he still found himself constantly working. It's not like anyone demanded this out of him either. It was quite the opposite, actually. From staff, to other producers, to members and even family, everyone always insisted that he took a break, maybe leave producing aside for a month or two. This was inconceivable to him, it was something that was simply out of his comfort zone.

The truth was, Jihoon felt lost. Any time he strayed away from work in some way or other, he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like a failure in many other aspects of his life. Granted, he was a successful idol and producer, talented in every area necessary in his field, but past that, what did he really have to offer? He'd been stuck in a rut for a few years now. He had his members, his family, maybe some staff, but his social life didn't go much past that. He didn't have many hobbies outside of work either. Sure, he was avid when exercising, even being an overachiever in that area, but that was also kind of part of his job. He knew he needed to step out of his comfort zone at some point and live his life, but he kept making excuses for himself. He was 26 now, and was, quite frankly, beginning to lose hope in certain areas of his life due to his career, - although blaming his career was just an excuse, really - the romantic aspect of his life being one of them.

Jihoon had some experience, okay? It wasn't like he'd never liked a girl before. He'd had a few crushes in elementary, maybe even some up until high school. He'd kissed one of the female trainees back when Pledis was a smaller company (okay, it might've been on a dare, but to Jihoon it counted). A few years after debuting he'd even gone on a few dates with a former staff member from his company. He'd lost his virginity to that same girl, kind of rushing into it due to feeling pressured to just get it over with - something he didn't exactly regret, but wished had been more of a memorable moment. The point was, Jihoon had had a few romantic experiences in his past 26 years on this earth. But, he hadn't ever even gotten close to find that one great love he'd hoped he one day would. For someone who received constant accolades for his lyricism, he was never really able to relate to his own music. He'd never been heartbroken, never had an insane need for someone, never felt romantic love, never been in the throes of passion with a beautiful girl, even. It was all his imagination. His lyrics, that is. And maybe the rest, if he was being honest. He'd dreamt about it lately; the perfect girl who he'd find and sweep off her feet. But that was all it was, a dream.

So, Jihoon was tired. Tired of hauling himself up in his studio to make himself feel something. But that was where he now found himself; stuck and in a rut, hoping for something more.

He was once again in his studio, working on god knows what at this point. He had just finished a quick welive with carats, feeling like he'd accomplished his quota of socialization for the day (I mean, even if it was a one-way conversation, it still counted, right?) and decided to get to work on one of the many unfinished drafts in his hard drive. This was kind of routine by now. He would either get a quick meal with one of the members during their break from rehearsals, or would go back to his studio for a bit to work on music. This would've been fine and dandy if it wasn't for the fact that Jihoon would eventually have ended up right back at his stuido either way. It was the illusion of choice, truly.

He spent a few hours in there, messing around with his guitar and even working on some guides for the members to follow next time they had some time to stop by the Universe Factory. Today felt like a productive day for Jihoon. Granted, he did this literally every single day, but he hadn't felt stuck at any point today. Maybe he was on a lucky streak. He decided to cut the day short there, not wanting to ruin what had been arguably an uninterrupted day of working on music. However, his separation from his studio did not last long, as he received a call from his manager just as he was locking the door behind him. He picked up without much thought.

"What's up?"

"Hey? Jihoon-ah, are you still in the studio by any chance?", Jihoon almost vocalized his amusement at the question. Where else would he be?

"I was just locking up, but yeah, I'm here."

"Good! Stay right there! Gonna head up to talk to you for a bit," and with that he hung up, not leaving Jihoon any chance to respond.

Jihoon and his manager were quite close. This was the case with most idols and their managers, having to spend so much time together. Still, Jihoon found the interaction to be a bit odd. Usually his manager would be one of the many people to insist that Jihoon get his ass out of his studio every once in a while. He didn't mind his request, though, so he quickly reopened the door and sat himself back down on his chair, deciding to mess with a few things as he waited for his manager's arrival.

It took his manager about ten minutes to arrive, Hybe was quite a big building, after all. He knocked on his door, not knowing the access code to Jihoon's studio. The only people who knew his key code were Jihoon himself, and Soonyoung (who had learned it without Jihoon's knowledge, but he was too lazy to change it by now). He got up to open the door, simply expecting another one of his manager's short overviews of Jihoon's schedule for the week, which might've been correct, except that when he opened the door he was met with his manager accompanied by an unfamiliar face.

It was you. Jihoon didn't know exactly who you were, but you carried a familiar air to you. He hadn't really been interacting with many people as of late, so maybe you were just someone he'd seen in passing, he wasn't too sure. You and his manager walked in upon Jihoon's gesture to please come in, moving aside as to not be in your way. He closed the door behind you, accidentally closing the distance between the two of you for a second and becoming a bit flustered at the proximity. He wasn't sure why his manager would bring someone unknown into his studio, but if Jihoon was anything, he was a relaxed guy (or at least he tried to seem like it), so he just sat back down without making any questions, his manager would probably fill him in any moment now anyways.

"Okay, so this is Y/N! You've probably met before, right?"

Uh, not right. And now a little awkward. Was he supposed to lie?

"Oh! No, we haven't, actually. I know a few of his members, though, but this is our first time officially meeting," you spoke up for the first time. So you were friends with his members? That might be how he knew you. That didn't really narrow it down much, though. There were 12 of them, and Seungkwan alone was friends with practically the entire industry.

"Oh? My bad. Well, then I should introduce you, right? Jihoon, this is Y/N! Her group was just recently acquired by Hybe. They moved into the building just over a month ago, if I'm not mistaken," He turned to you as you nodded in affirmation before proceeding, "Y/N, this is Jihoon, producer and partial leader of Seventeen."

He wasn't too sure why he was introducing the two of you. If he got personally introduced to every group Hybe acquired in the past year, he'd probably be here all day. He'd stopped keeping track of who and which groups were now roaming the hallways, being too many for him to count. He wasn't complaining or anything, he was just confused as to why go out of his way.

"Woozi-nim. It's so nice to meet you! I've always been such a huge fan. Your work is .. it's insane. I've looked forward to meeting you for so long," the enthusiasm with which you said this made his lip quirk up a little. Sure, he received accolades on his work every day, but knowing that fellow juniors of his looked up to him always brought a smile to his face, although it still made him a little sheepish at receiving such a forward compliment.

"Oh, I- Thank you. And you can call me Jihoon. It's nice to meet you, too," he smiled shyly at you, not really knowing what to say past that. He felt a bit shy looking at you for some reason, as if he couldn't hold eye contact for too long or he'd burn.

He looked expectantly over at his manager, the instigator of this interaction.

"Oh! Right. Well, as I just said, Y/N's group just moved into the company. And the company's been pushing for some collaborations as of late, you know, in order to maximize all groups within Hybe all at once," Jihoon could kind of see where his manager was going with this, "So, I've brought Y/N along with me since you two will be working together for a feature."

Hold on. Rewind.

"Us? As in just us two?"

"Yeah. Hybe is dividing you guys into subdivisions. Mingyu will be collaborating with someone in BTS a few months from now, and Chan will be with Yeonjun from TXT. I think Seokmin is scheduled with a member of Lesserafim. Not too sure yet, but you're up first. I sent you an email about it a few days ago with the general idea. Did you not get it?"

Oh, right. Jihoon was always quite diligent about his work, but his work mostly entailed Seventeen only. Checking his email wasn't much of a habit of his when he could just call up the few producers that worked for Seventeen whenever he needed to. Collaborations and producer work for other people were not that common to him, so for the most part he would disregard anything that didn't entail his own group.

"Oh, I, uh. No, sorry," he felt slightly bad at having disregarded the person standing in front of him, specially when you had regarded him such such respect. He was giving off a terrible first impression.

"That's fine. Now you know. Well, just wanted to take advantage that you were here today - Hah, well, when aren't you here?", chuckled his manager before continuing, "Just wanted to introduce you just in case. Check the email I sent you when you can, I'll send you over more details of your schedule related to the feature first thing tomorrow, yeah? Y/N here is the main producer for her group too, so you'll be co-producing."

You produced? He didn't mean to sound like an asshole, but there were just so many groups who didn't make their own music. He could sometimes get a bit of an ego over knowing he was an anomaly in his industry, always having taken pivotal part in a good 90% of his group's discography. Still, he wasn't too happy about the concept of having to share the creative process with a producer he had never heard of, if he was quite honest. For the most part he would only work with Bumzu and a few other Hybe producers here and there. He didn't even know your group or the music you were credited for. Hell, he had only found out about this project two minutes ago, having had no voice in the matter. One of the down sides of joining such a huge company that fathered way too many groups at once, he guessed.

He decided to not show his slight discomfort towards the idea, simply offering a polite response before bidding his goodbyes to the two of you. You had stayed behind for a few extra seconds after his manager exited the room, once more voicing your admiration for Jihoon and letting him know you were looking forward to working together. Jihoon had to admit that your praise did something to him. He didn't mean to sound like a total loser when he said this, but he did not interact with girls too much. So receiving such direct praise on his music from a pretty girl who also happened to share a passion with him had his ears turning red. He quickly shook his head at the thought, deciding to just stay at the studio overnight once more and maybe finally go over the email his manager had sent him.

He had to admit, he was quite impressed. Shortly after your arrival he had decided to research you and your group. You were quite well known by then, having debuted the same year as Seventeen and now being one of the top girl groups in the game. Just like Jihoon, you were from a small company and had climbed your way up, eventually being acquired by Hybe just a few months prior. Your stories were quite similar, if he really thought about it. You had also taught yourself how to produce before debuting, taking on the official role of main producer upon making your debut.

He had found out an embarrassing amount of information about you very quickly. He couldn't help himself. He was immediately intrigued by you, even going as far as looking at online forums about you; places that would detail information about you that only a true fanatic would know. He was now privy to trivial information such as your birth year (one year after his), your favorite color (pink), how many moles you had (seven, total), when you joined your company (exactly two months before he joined pledis), your most popular fancam (the one were you wore that pretty purple top), and just general information he'd be embarrassed to relay he now had memorized. He could call himself a bit ... infatuated. He felt beyond creepy, despite all this being public information. He had just met you, why had he just spent the past three hours binging content about you?

Jihoon decided to shrug these thoughts away, instead opting to mentally prepare himself for tomorrow morning, which was apparently the first day in which you'd be meeting to talk over your future schedules together for the next month or so. He had finally checked the multiple emails his manager had sent him about the collaboration, realizing that he'd now have to spend most of his non-Seventeen allocated time with you.

From photoshoots for promo, to the actual producing of the song, the empty slots in his schedules seemed to have filled up on their own, now being occupied by your company, and much to his surprise, he was not annoyed at this sudden intrusion. He felt a weird feeling in his stomach, but it wasn't like the usual nerves he felt before going on an important stage, nor the grumbling he felt whenever he met an idol of his. He felt ... giddy? He was looking forward to it. He felt nervous to see you again, which was really strange considering that he felt completely normal upon meeting you just now. Yeah, you were very pretty (he had eyes, this was just a fact he couldn't deny), but he hadn't had much of a reaction to it. However, now, as he looked at pictures of you on his computer, he couldn't imagine holding eye contact again. He was going mad.

Tomorrow arrived sooner than he thought. Now he was now sitting in his studio, awaiting your arrival. He had impulsively tidied up the place, now embarrassed that you'd seen it a mess the day prior. He also tidied himself up. As he recalled, you were wearing a pretty dress yesterday, so he felt bad you'd caught him in sweats and a three-day-old shirt. He wasn't sure why he wanted to impress you, but he did. Jihoon had the hope of at least befriending you, now having formed some type of interest towards you.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, making his heart accelerate at the thought of who was on the other side of it. Upon unlocking it, he found you on the other side, smile on your face as you carried in some bowls of .. his favorite meal? into his studio.

"Hi, Woozi-nim! I brought you food, is that's okay? I asked Seungkwan what you liked," oh, so it was Kwannie you were friends with. That made sense. It was touching that you'd gone out of your way to get him something you knew he'd like. Now he felt bad at being empty handed in his own studio.

"Oh, I- Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

"It's no problem! Wanted to thank you for doing this. I know you don't do collaborations that often. Felt kinda bad about imposing," by now the two of you had sat down in front of his desk, chairs slightly too close for comfort as you unwrapped the food in the bags you'd brought in.

"You-you're not. Sorry if I made it seem that way yesterday, hah, I was just caught off guard."

Jesus Christ, he felt so awkward. Your close proximity had him at a loss. He didn't know where to look or what to say. Your perfume was also not helping matters. The pretty scent had him extremely distracted, his mind suddenly being flooded with the thought that, shit, everything about you was pretty. What was wrong with him? Was this his first time interacting with a woman? He had never felt more out of place, except that despite any improper feelings he felt, he still wanted to be in your vicinity.

"-Woozi-nim?"

Shit, had you been talking this whole time?

"Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

You chuckled at him, clearly not taking offense to his distracted nature, "I was just asking if you had any drafts you wanted to use as a baseline? Or we could use one of my unused drafts? It's whatever you prefer, really. I'd love to work with something of yours, though. I love your style, it's so ... hah, I don't know. It's just so you."

Jihoon thanked god he had not cut his hair as some carats had begged, because now the length allowed him to cover the red of his ears. A single compliment from you had him heating up, clammy hands getting even clammier at the thought of you using his talent as a compliment. If you wanted to use his music, there was just no way for him to deny you. He wanted to hear more of your praise to him.

"Y-yeah? I have uh, a few that I could show you. They're just drafts, but you know."

You visibly perked up at this, scooting even closer to him as he began to fiddle with his computer, opening up some files to show you. Your excitement at his work had him swooning internally. The amount of interest you'd been showing since meeting yesterday was already getting the better of him.

"Woozi-nim, holy shit. These are hundreds of files. Are these all unfinished?"

"Uh, yeah. I uh, tend to have a few drafts saved for future projects."

"I get that. Me too, but these have to be over 300 unfinished songs," you were in clear shock (perhaps admiration?) of the endless tracks in front of you. Jihoon wasn't sure if he should feel ashamed at having so much unfinished work (which made bit feel like a bit of a loser), or be proud since you seemed to be impressed at the vast number.

"I like to be prepared. You know, just in case."

"It's .. wow. I knew you were good, but this is insane, Woozi-nim."

"I, you can call me Jihoon," he didn't really care much for the distinction between Woozi and Jihoon at this point; he was pretty used to both. But a part of him just wanted to hear you call him by his real name; the one only those close to him really used. He also wanted an out from the conversation, feeling too flustered at your compliments.

You chuckled, nodding at him, "Okay, Jihoon. Sorry, didn't really know what name to go for at first."

"No, it-it's fine. I'm only a year older. You can speak comfortably."

The rest of the conversation was filled with technicalities about the collaboration. Now that you two had established a, let's say, closer acquaintance, you were able to discuss your ideas more comfortably. Jihoon still had to put up with the endless compliments about his work as you two went through possible tracks for the song, but he tried his best to take them like a champ, simply chuckling shyly and shrugging them off. Your genuine admiration for his skill had him reeling inside, enamored with the tone of your voice any time you'd express excitement at hearing exclusive Universe Factory content. He hadn't felt butterflies in his stomach like this in, well, ever. He felt like he was a high school student with a silly crush.

The disappointment in his face as you parted ways must've been clear (which made him embarrassed beyond belief), as you pulled out your phone and asked him to put his contact in, letting him know you'd be seeing him soon. The possession of your contact info made him excited. He knew it was probably just for work purposes, but he held a stupid hope in the back of his head that you'd given it to him because you had interest in meeting again soon.

And you did see each other soon, consistently meeting in order to work on the song. A few of the times you were joined by Bumzu (who was also helping out with the song), or Soonyoung (who was just a nosy bastard who wouldn't leave Jihoon's studio), which made him curse out his two friends, wanting you all to himself. His crush had developed quickly after that second meeting. You were now all he thought about. Every morning when he got ready to start his day, he wondered which shirt you'd like him best in. Would you like if he trimmed his hair or did you like it long? What did you like in guys? (Except had already gone on incognito mode on his phone to search your ideal type, growing instantly embarrassed and exiting out of the tab). He thought of you as he exercised, wondering if you'd like his muscles and physique. His entire existence was surrounded by thoughts of you. And he hoped maybe he was also in your mind.

The first time he saw you outside his studio walls was at the Hybe gym as he worked out with Mingyu, Soonyoung and Joshua. He almost lost hold on the dumbbells in his hands upon spotting you, tight leggings and cropped shirt adorning your body. He had seen you in less clothing before (Only ever through a screen, in all the pretty concept photos your group had done, or in the occasional fancam he'd come across), but seeing your silhouette in the flesh had all thoughts leaving his mind. He felt ashamed at his way of thinking. He didn't want to objectify you like that, but the thoughts of your beauty had not left his mind for two weeks now, since the day he first met you.

But his eyes couldn't be helped, glued to your form as you walked into the place, paying extra attention to the parts that stood out most for him. He was like a depraved monster, his breath getting ragged as he watched you move around, licking his lips and sighing at every small movement you made. God, what was happening to him? Why was he so immediately aroused? Luckily, his thoughts were quickly interrupted by a cough from a very annoying Kim Mingyu, who had just been spotting him before his abrupt stop.

"Hyung .. You're too obvious."

"Wha-what are you talking about?", he did not like the smirk attached to Mingyu's face, nor the matching mocking smile in Soonyoung and Joshua's.

"You should see him when she's sitting in his studio. It's sad to watch," snickered the fellow 96-liner.

"Oh? She's the girl? Damn, hyung. She's really pretty."

"It's not- there's no girl. We're just working together," his feelings were already complicated enough, he didn't need the involvement of his members' teasing.

"C'mon, Hyung! It's okay if you like her. She's pretty, she's an idol-producer. She's perfect for you. I think you should go for it," encouraged Mingyu, in his optimistic Mingyu-fashion.

"Yeah, I mean. You were just about to cum in your pants at just seeing her in some leggings. I don't think you have anything to lose if you're already at the point of public indecency."

Yeah, this was exactly why he wanted to keep them as far away as possible.

"Soonyoung, I swear to g-"

"Jihoon? Oh my god, hi! I didn't realize you were here," it was you, now at a closer proximity and a slight sheen of sweat attached to your skin. Had Jihoon not been snapped out of his trance earlier, he probably would've been salivating by now.

"Oh. Hi Y/N. How are you?", he felt like he was being scrutinized for his every word and move by his members, which made him feel extremely awkward (more than usual).

"Good! I didn't know you used the company gym. I'd never seen you here before. You should've told me. We could've come together," you smiled before turning to his friends, "Hi! I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you!"

Soonyoung made a show of stretching his hand out to you, bowing way too low for such a casual setting (probably just to peeve Jihoon). He was followed by Joshua, who held onto your hand in a way that had Jihoon fuming to himself.

"Hello, Y/N. I think we might've met before. You're Kwannie's friend, right?"

"Oh, right! Yeah, I've been to your guys' practice room before, but Jihoon didn't recognize me when we first met, so I wanted to re-introduce myself just in case," you giggled in Jihoon's direction.

"Don't mind him. That's just Jihoon. He's too distracted for his own good. I'm Kim Mingyu, by the way," the youngest shot you a flirtatious smile.

He needed all of them to keep the flirting as toned down as humanly possible. Although jealousy was not an emotion he felt often, the thought of his best friends even looking at you had his ears turning red in anger. But in very expected fashion, they all continued to take turns flirting with you for the next twenty minutes, completely shrugging off any intention of working out they might've had before having spotted you. Luckily (and surprisingly) for him, you were not reciprocating the flirting, nor where your eyes ever off of Jihoon for too long, always including him in your responses to his members one way or another.

You were somehow immune to the charms of Kwon Soonyoung, which, yeah, Jihoon didn't blame you for. You were also unaffected by Jisoo, which was a little more rare from Jihoon's experience. What shocked him most, though, was that your eyes still stayed on him even while one Kim Mingyu blatantly flirted with you. He'd known one too many girls who had fallen victim to his flirting (whether it be intentional or not), and to see you fully shrug him off in favor of looking to Jihoon instead had his heart going at an inhuman speed.

The interaction ended not too much time later, leaving Jihoon's ears red, but now from embarrassment at his friends slyly suggesting his interest at you multiple times throughout the conversation. Despite them being subtle about it, he was still mortified, specially when by the end of it, they'd pushed him to walk you back to your practice room while they wandered off on their own.

"I'm so sorry about them. They can be a bit much."

"It's fine, Jihoon. Don't worry about it. They were really fun. I can see how you're all so close."

"Ah, yeah. You know how it is .. Uh, sorry they kept hitting on you like that,"

he knew he was a bit of an idiot for bringing it up, but he wanted to gauge your feelings on it. He needed to know if he at least held a chance against his members or if you'd just been being nice by not reciprocating in front of him.

You chuckled as you responded, "I know they weren't being serious about it, Jihoon. Don't sweat it. It's not them I'm interested in anyways."

Oh, great. That was good to hear .. Wait. What?

"W-What?l"

"Oh. We're here. This is my group's practice room. Sorry I made you walk all the way here, I know your practice room is like five floors up," you apologized sheepishly, completely disregarding what you'd just said.

"I-it's fine. I'll see you on Thursday, then?"

"Thursday? We have a shoot tomorrow, Jihoon. Remember? We need a jacket shoot for the collab. It was on the schedule."

Oh, fuck. He had completely blanked on that. You guys were almost done recording the finishing touches to the song, but he forgot you guys also needed to do the shoot for the promo and learn the choreo as soon as you gave the choreographers the finalized version for the single. There was still so much to be done, which only meant even more time spent with you.

"Yeah, right. Sorry, hah, completely spaced out on that. I'll see you tomo-"

"Come pick me up?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, stop by my practice room so we can walk together? Is that okay?"

Did you- did you want to spend even more time with him? He wasn't complaining. He wanted all his time to be consumed by you, but .. was the feeling mutual?

"Yes," he paused, realizing his answer had been too short and mechanical, "I mean, yeah, sure, I don't mind. I'll see you here tomorrow morning."

You giggled at him before bidding your goodbye once more, but this time offering him a quick side hug before disappearing through the door to your practice room. Jihoon was glad you were gone, because this time it wasn't just his ears that were red, but his whole face had begun to resemble a tomato.

It was time to admit to himself that he was down bad tremendously for you.

Jihoon had not at any moment stopped to wonder what type of vibe the collaboration was meant to follow. Yeah, he was working on the song (which was almost finalized by now), so he knew it was pretty much a pop-rock-ish vibe that they were going for, but he didn't know what the rest of the equation would look like, which was something he wished he'd prepared a bit better for.

He had walked you over this morning, even being enticed by Seungkwan into bringing you your favorite drink as a nice gesture (which worked perfectly, as it won him over yet another side hug). The two of you arrived to the designated area for photoshoots located in one of the lower floors of the Hybe building, then went your separate ways to head over to hair and makeup in order to get your outfits situated. He had to admit he liked his outfit. It was a little more provocative than usual, with it being mostly black leather and the top being unbuttoned enough to show off most of his abdomen. It was your outfit, however, that had him reeling.

Nothing could have prepared him for the moment he stepped out and spotted you doing a few solo shots in preparation, your outfit and makeup already perfectly in place. He had no words to express how he felt upon seeing you. You looked so ... gorgeous. Unsure of how to react at the sight in front of him, he stood there staring, almost as if he'd seen an apparition. It wasn't until one of the photographers called him over that he managed to regain sense of self and join you.

The entirety of the photoshoot was absolute hell for Jihoon. This was the closest he'd ever been to you (sans the now two quick side hugs you'd given him in the past day). The shoot was a bit .. sensual in nature. The first set of outfits were edgier, so the shoot was the basic scenario you'd picture for a punk-rock pictorial. The second set of outfits had been the issue, because they went in the complete opposite direction. You were in a beaten down motel room setting, wearing very simple outfits, although they were both very skimpy and thin, almost as if to signify the simplicity of the concept. You two posed together on the bed, with your poses getting more and more intimate by the minute. At some point he had been directed to embrace you as he looked into your lips, with the proximity being way too close for comfort (or at least that's what he tried to tell himself). At another point he was kneeling on the bed as he looked up at you, your eyes simulating lust as you looked down on him, hand on his chin, lifting his gaze to yours.

The shoot had been an experience, to say the least. Jihoon wasn't sure how he survived it without breaking. He thanked the gods for the years of preparation with all types of shoots he'd done with the members over the years. However, completion of the shoot did not mean he was unaffected. He had no idea how he'd get the image of your lips so close to his out of his mind. Despite knowing it'd all been professional and strictly fake, he could've sworn he felt something every time your eyes would meet when at such a close distance. He wanted it to be real so badly, but once again he chalked it up to being wishful thinking. At least the worst of it was over, and he could now get back to sitting next to you in his studio at a respectable distance.

Jihoon had been an idiot to ever believe that the shoot had been the worst of it.

It had now been a week since the dreaded photoshoot (The one that had him up at night imagining what it would've been like if he had just closed the gap between your lips, damning anyone else in the room), and now it had been a few days since the song had finally been completed. He had thoroughly enjoyed co-producing with you, geeking at your ability to compliment each other perfectly. Your voice was yet another thing he had fallen in love with during the process, fully enamored by every single take you did. It had actually slowed down the process, as Jihoon green-lit every single one of your takes due to the rose-colored glasses that prevented him from catching mistakes you swore you'd committed during a few of the takes. You seemed to be similar, however, as you continued to shower him in compliments (even at the shoot, where you had complimented him with his hard work at the gym - a moment he chose to disregard or else he would've lost his mind at the implications), refusing to admit any faults of his while recording.

Now, however, he found himself in very difficult and unchartered waters. Any other time in which he'd produced a song, he'd never been involved further than that. He'd done duo shoots before, with women at that, but what he'd never done was share a choreography with someone who wasn't a member of Seventeen. He had danced with women before, of course, even having participated in more sensual dances, but this felt different. All previous times had been with nameless backup dancers he had never known too well. This was you. He now had to work through an entire choreo with you as the two of you danced around each other (physically and figuratively, he believed).

Most of the song involved a very casual choreo, as the two of you danced mostly separately but complimented one another. The kicker was the bridge of the song, where the melody mellowed out a bit and allowed for a quick dance break of sorts. It was very sensual in nature, and required you and Jihoon to tangle against each other as you used the other's body to complete the dance. Going over it had been full of shy smiles and eyes that couldn't seem to meet. It almost made him believe that you'd felt just as flustered as he did. When you actually began to dance over that part, however, you left Jihoon's mouth watering at how easy it was for you to meld your body to his; how you would guide his shy hands to place them in all the correct places. The feeling of your body against his was new and unfamiliar, but it felt so right to him. He wanted nothing more than to leave his mark on your skin, signaling that he was the only one meant to touch there. He was truly going mad.

It had now been about two months since Jihoon had first met you. The song hadn't been released yet, but most preparations for it had been done. All that was left was a quick music video shoot plus a few music show appearances that would come after the actual release of the song. Thus far, the song had been announced, with a pending release date of a month from now. Jihoon had enjoyed public reaction to the unexpected collab, with people even going as far as calling you a dynamic duo due to your respective reputations as the main producers of your groups.

You seemed to also enjoy knowing the news had finally broken to the public, even going as far as mentioning Jihoon in some of your lives. He specifically recalled a moment he'd seen as he watched it live, one that had him blushing and kicking his feet. You'd been asked about what it was like working with Jihoon, to which you responded with a whole paragraph of compliments directed at his work ethic, along with a short quip about how cute you found Jihoon to be, deeming it 'difficult to focus with him around.' He felt like he was on cloud nine at the comment, despite how lightheartedly you had delivered it.

After that (and a few more instances of you shooting compliments his way), he had decided he wanted to see you outside of a work-related schedule. He had begun making excuses to find himself on your group's floor, going as far as using Seungkwan and Soonyoung (who you'd unfortunately befriended due to his constant unwanted presence as you two worked on your song) as pawns in order to not be as obvious whenever he went to see you. Despite your usually outgoing demeanor, you seemed a bit more reserved whenever it was only you and Jihoon. He wondered if it was because of his quiet demeanor, or because you might've maybe returned his feelings and felt too shy to be too expressive around your crush - he knew damn well that was his case, at least.

Today the two of you were working out together at the gym - a huge feat for Jihoon, who could not help but ogle at you whenever you weren't paying attention - with him playing the role of your spotter. He had extensive knowledge of weightlifting, which he had been proud to impress you with. Right now, you were working on your arms, which required Jihoon at a close proximity in order to make sure you didn't get hurt. He enjoyed this way more than he could admit to anyone or himself.

"Is this okay? Is this the right position to do it?", you questioned as you made eye contact with him through the mirror. Your arms were lifted above your shoulders, with dumbbells on each of them as you attempted to lift them both at once.

"Yeah. That's perfect. Is it too heavy? Do you need to stop?"

"No, I'm fine, Ji, I promise. Just stand a little closer, yeah? I don't wanna drop them. And put your arms under mine?", he followed your instructions, now towering over you from behind as you sat in front of him.

The two of you had grown more comfortable in the past two weeks or so, seeing each other almost every day while outside of official schedules. He'd learned that, unlike him, you didn't have any issues with personal space, often allowing him to stand too close for comfort. He couldn't complain, though, as he was always too hypnotized by the proximity.

"Shit!", you yelped, almost dropping the dumbbell before Jihoon managed to intercept it. You had begun to do a set before the one minute mark passed, deeming you too weak to lift the dumbbell all the way up. Luckily, you had instructed Jihoon to stand close to you in order to prevent any actual damage.

"Are you okay?", he asked as he placed the dumbbells on the ground, rounding the seat in order to stand in front of your sitting form.

It was mind-numbing, really. The angle in which he was looking down at you, with your pretty eyes looking back at him with a semi-worried expression on your face at the shock of almost dropping such a heavy weight on yourself. The incident left his mind immediately at the sight of you, a layer of sweat covering your skin as you panted while looking up at him. He pulled you up by your arms, helping you stand in front of him. In very cliche fashion, you tripped a bit, almost landing on him before he caught you by your forearms. The classic 'falling-atop-your-crush' trope did not happen, but he still ended up at even a closer proximity to you. Just when he had finally begun to forget the sight of your lips right in front of his from back when you did the jacket shoot together.

He did not move back, and neither did you, allowing the small distance between you to fog both of your minds.

"T-thanks, Hoonie. Could've really hurt myself," this was the first time he'd ever heard a stutter out of you, with your eyes not looking into his as they usually did. Your closeness still not diminishing even when the danger of the situation had already dissipated.

"'Course. Uh, I .. Maybe we should go back to a lighter weight?"

It took you a moment to respond, eventually choosing to look back at him with your pretty eyes, a seemingly empty head to match. He liked the look on you. He could've sworn he saw your eyes lower to his lips, but his mind was too clouded to confirm.

"Uh, actually, I think im done for the day. Is that okay? I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Oh, right. Yeah. I'll meet you in front of your practice room?", he was confused at your sudden departure, dreading the separation, but he figured one of you would have to break the spell eventually.

"Yeah. See you there, Hoonie. I'll text you later, okay?", you gave him a quick peck on his cheek before turning to the exit, leaving behind a beet-red Jihoon as he tried to get his heartbeat to slow to a healthy rhythm.

He was left standing there, in the cold and empty company gym as he pondered as to whether or not his feelings may be mutual.

The next day the two of you met again, no mention of yesterday at all. What would there be to mention anyways? That you two stood close to each other? Jihoon felt like such a loser even having considered it anything. He was just inexperienced at this, and very much touch starved, so any small suggestive interaction had him overthinking. Like right now, as you hooked your arm on his to walk along the Hybe building together, not a care in the world about anyone who would see you.

"Did you see the outline for the music video?", you spoke up once the two of you had reached the cafeteria, picking a secluded table to sit at - not that many people wandered there anyway.

"Hmm. No, what is it?", he still hadn't managed to beat the habit of not checking his emails.

You giggled, seeming a little flustered, "Uh, we're playing a couple. Very Bonnie and Clyde but with a grudge twist. Seems pretty cool, actually."

"Oh. We-we're playing a couple?"

"Yeah. I think we can pull it off. You did really good at the shoot. Did you see the finished product? Okay, never mind. I know you didn't. They look really good, though. We look very convincing."

He knew you didn't mean anything by it, but you constantly had him wondering. If you liked him you wouldn't be this direct, right? This must've all been very lighthearted to you. Sure, you were friends, but that's where it all ended for you. Jihoon was the complete opposite. Every single interaction you had had him falling deeper and deeper into a hole of infatuation for you. There was nothing about you he wasn't obsessed with. It had begun to manifest in all areas of his life, even his work. He had never had more unfinished love songs in his hard drive.

Unbeknownst to you, he had purposely avoided taking a look at those pictures, knowing his mind would go blank at the image of you looking at him with those lustful eyes from a third-person perspective. Living through it already had him in agony night after night as he thought of nothing but you.

"Y-yeah. I saw them," he lied, "You did amazing."

"Really?", you were always giddy at his compliments (which didn't come often due to his shy demeanor towards you), "I've never done a more provocative concept like this before. It's fun. It suits you a lot, Jihoon. I'm glad I got to do it with you of all people."

And you had no idea how glad he was too.

Shooting the music video had somehow been even more agonizing than the photoshoot. It was two grueling days of constant time spent together. He loved your company, but the stylists kept insisting on dressing you in the most provocative outfits imaginable to man. He couldn't think while he looked at you. You were like a siren. Even the strongest of men wouldn't be able to resist you.

The worst of it came in the form of the director instructing you two to act like two lovers against the world. Word for word. It wasn't difficult for Jihoon to pretend he was enamored by you, but he was truly at a loss of words over how well you also played your role. By now he had become numb to your touch, having run through the choreography with you multiple times by now, and with you having become increasingly touchier through the time you'd known each other.

He thanked god under his breath as soon as the two days came to a close, knowing that now he could at least keep his feelings under wraps for a while. It was now about two weeks until the release of the song. According to the schedule, all that was left was one pre-recorded Studio Choom performance, two comeback shows after the release of the song, and two variety show appearances together. It was all pretty straightforward from now on. There was no way Jihoon wouldn't be able to put up with what was left. He had this in the bag.

The worst thing imaginable happened after that. Jihoon had not planned for this, nor had you, apparently.

It was very sudden and came completely out of left field. It pertained to you, but had affected Jihoon more than anyone involved.

Dispatch had released an article just a week before the official release of the song. Promotions had only begun, but had been slightly disrupted by this sudden interruption.

The article featured you, and an unknown man. They were clearly pictures taken off-guard, from a distance. You were in front of some building, ignorant to any cameras nearby. You were too close for Jihoon's comfort. He knew there was some type of relationship there. The caption to the picture didn't help matters either. Something about an estranged lover you'd been keeping secret from the media. There were too many pictures for Jihoon to process. In some you were embracing, while in others you were sharing a low-quality peck from what he could tell.

Seeing that article had been an absolute punch in the gut. There was no argument against it. There was clearly something between you and that guy. He was standing too close to you, even holding onto you in most of the pictures. You could barely tell it was you, but to Jihoon it was obvious. He had never felt heartbreak like this before. The two of you had never dated or even insinuated actual interest in the other, but it still felt like betrayal to him, as irrational as that thought was. It was all his fault, really. Had he told you about his feelings, maybe things would've been different.

Jihoon felt like an idiot. Of course this had all been just a business transaction to you. You were assigned to work with him, just as he was you. Even if he had led himself to believe that the feelings might've somehow been mutual, it had all just been in his head. What would you see in him anyways? Yeah, sure, you had a few things in common, but who in their right mind would ever want to be with the empty-hearted producer who cared for nothing but work. Hell, the day he met you was yet another day in which he had been willingly locked in his studio all day. That was what you would've been signing up for, had you looked his way. He didn't wish such a loveless relationship to anyone. He knew by now that he did- he did love you, but he knew he was probably unable to love you in the way you deserved. He was incapable of that. At 26, he'd had no experience with love. Why would someone as beautiful and amazing as you want to be with someone like him?

He was in love with you. That was something he could now full-heartedly admit to himself. Within these two months he had fallen deeply in love with you. Nothing could change that by now, not even knowing that you were already taken. He couldn't help himself in locking himself in his house after that, ignoring and all messages from both you and his manager regarding the few rehearsals he had skipped over.

Hybe did their damage control, making the situation go away as soon as it arose, but to Jihoon the damage had been done. He felt like an irrational idiot being hurt by this, but he needed to be away from you for a few days. You hadn't done anything to him, but he couldn't see you right now without feeling pain. He was punishing you with no proper justification, but his feelings were too strong for him to put up with.

A little over an entire day went on like this, with no communication from Jihoon to anyone. He was surprised no one had come looking for him until now, the moment in which bangs against his front door could be heard all the way from his room. Whoever was looking for him had made liberal use of the doorbell too, not giving him a single break from its constant ringing as he tried to ignore it. He finally grew too tired of it, deciding to give up his moping and going downstairs to beg that person to leave him alone to his misery. He still needed a few days before he could go face his reality. He couldn't face you just yet.

Except the choice had been made for him. His first mistake had been not checking the doorbell camera, which would've made him privy on who exactly was knocking on his door. He felt bad at thinking this, but had he known it was you, he never would've opened it.

He was beyond embarrassed at his appearance, once more wearing a three-day-old shirt and his cheeks damp with the tears he hadn't yet wiped away. You, on the other hand, looked as beautiful as ever. You carried a worried look on your face, lips pouty and eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. He was not given time to welcome you in before you barged in for yourself, launching yourself at him in a tight hug before he could say anything. He wasn't an idiot, and he was too weak for his liking, so he held you back just as tight, enjoying a good three or so minutes of silence as you held each other.

You pulled away too soon for his liking, unhooking your face from the crook of his neck as you spoke up, still holding onto him, "Jihoon ... I'm so sorry. It's- it's not what you think, I swear. Please believe me."

He wasn't sure why you were so apologetic. You didn't owe him anything. He felt like even more of a loser at making you feel like you had to apologize for having a boyfriend. He knew that by now there was no way you didn't know about his crush on you, which made him feel even more humiliated at the situation. He separated himself from you for the first time ever, creating some distance as he refused to look at you. He took this chance to close the door he had left open when you had attacked him with your embrace.

"You don't have to ..."

"No, Jihoon. Listen to me. Please."

Your eyes were glossy now, and Jihoon felt bad at causing you any distress, so he signaled at you to continue.

"It's not- it isn't what you think. Yeah, I ... I did have a ... a thing with that guy. I know Hybe denied it being me, but you know- you know it's me. But it's not how it looks!"

"Then ... what is it?", he couldn't believe he was even letting himself ask that question, as if you had to explain yourself to him. But part of him really wanted to know. He wanted to somehow hear you say that it wasn't true, that you would never look at anyone but him.

"It's an old picture. He- he used to work for our group, as staff. We had a thing. It ended badly. Haven't really dated since then. This was before I met you, Jihoon, please, I need you to know that."

"You .. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you need me to know that?", he hoped against all hope that you'd answer with what he'd been wanting to hear since he met you, but he knew he was playing with the devil when asking you that. He knew there was a very logical chance that you'd just confirm your platonic feelings for him, or straight up reject him.

"You know, Jihoon. I know you know. I- I'd never do that to you. I'd never look at anyone but you."

"Do you-"

"Yes', you paused, 'I like you, Jihoon."

And then his heart stopped beating.

"So much. Since we met. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the day we met. I like you so fucking much. I can't think of anything else. I thought it was just because I've always been a fan of yours, but ... being around you just made me feel so happy. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. Fuck, I'm sorry I made you feel like there was someone else in the picture."

He didn't know what to say. You'd said everything he had wanted to hear for the past two months. You liked him. It wasn't one-sided. There was nothing stopping him from making you his now. Those feelings he thought had been fake for the portrayal of your song's concept had been genuine all along. He'd never felt such relief.

"Jihoon? Is it not ...? Fuck. Did I misread everything? Shit, I'm sorry. I should, uh, I should go-"

Fuck. No! He needed to reciprocate, he just had no idea how. He couldn't have you thinking he wasn't equally (if not more) obsessed with you. So he did the one thing he could think of in that moment. Something he had imagined time and time again, but never had the courage to do.

You yelped against him as he pulled his lips to yours, but immediately began kissing him back. There was nothing tender about the kiss as Jihoon would've expected. It was a complete mess from the start. The kiss was a testament to how badly you'd both wanted each other this whole time.

Jihoon felt lightheaded at the feeling of your tongue sneaking its way into his mouth, and the moans that accompanied it. He couldn't help but feel immediate arousal at your touch. He wasn't sure how to kiss you. He'd never shared such a passionate exchange before, but he wanted to give you everything in him with his kiss.

You only pulled away when you were out of breath, still keeping yourself as close to him as possible as you breathed into each other's mouths, your lips lightly closing over his as you regained your breath.

"Hoonie ..." the sound of your breathless voice muttering his name did shameful things to him. There was no way he could handle a conversation right now.

"Tell me- tell me you like me. I need to know. Please ..." the sheer lust and desperation in your voice were things that would never leave Jihoon's mind.

"So much. I li- I love you. You have no idea. Every day was agony not acting on it. I'm sorry if it's too much, but it's true. I've never felt this way before. I'm in love with you. The thought of you with someone else made me wanna give everything up. It's ... God, I just love you."

You didn't seem to need any more words before closing the gap again, this time backing him up against the nearest wall as you kissed him with all your might. You took full control of the kiss, grabbing his cheeks and angling him so you could play with his lips as you saw fit. He moaned and writhed against you, shyly attempting to hold onto your waist but not actually daring to. You must've caught wind of his intentions, grabbing onto his hands and forcing them on your waist, pressing your chest up against his. He began to caress your waist, falling in love with the slope of your back in the process. He was still shy with his movements, but his lips were nothing but. He adored your soft sighs against his lips any time his tongue would suckle on yours, or any time his teeth nibbled on your bottom lip.

You must've eventually grown tired of his shy demeanor, grabbing onto his arms and pining them above his head, beginning to softly grind against him as you began to lick and suck at his neck. Jihoon was on cloud nine. His body was unsure of how to react to such pleasure from someone he had already grown so addicted to.

"Hoonie ... want you so bad ... please," his knees buckled at your begging, your warm breath hitting against his ear as he groaned out at the thought of you in his bed.

He was simply a shell of himself at that point, so it had been your responsibility to drag the both of you in the direction he pointed his bedroom was at, but as soon as you were there, you pushed him to lay on the bed. He was ready for whatever you were willing to give him. He had no chance against you anyway.

"Hoonie, shit. Been wanting you for so long. Can I, please?", you'd begun to straddle him, leaning over him as you ghosted over his lips. He swore he wasn't going to make it, body heating up at the mere suggestion of you touching him.

"P-please ..."

You began kissing him again, running your hands up and down his torso, eventually landing on his crotch, softly caressing it as he whined into your mouth.

"Oh? Jihoonie ... You're so hard. Want me to help you?"

"Fuck ... Need you so bad, please ..."

"But we haven't even started to have fun," you moved your hand away, now sitting up a bit to begin grinding against his crotch, deep movements making his eyes roll back as his arms laid limp on his sides.

"Won't you touch me, Hoonie? Don't be shy. You already know how much I want you," you guided his hands to your hips, making him clamp his fingers on the clothed flesh while you moaned out at the feeling of his hard cock gracing your most delicate parts.

You were both beginning to heat up, which led you to throw your shirt off, now only in a bra and some sweats. He audibly moaned at the view, only causing you to play it up for him as you caressed your own covered breasts, "Want me to take my bra off, baby? Hmm?"

"Y-yes. Wanna see you so bad. You're so beautiful."

That was enough for you to wiggle your way out of your pants, throwing off your bra right after. The sight had his cock squirming under you. No amount of lonely nights thinking about you could have ever prepared him for the sight before him. Your soft skin shining under the soft light of the half drawn blinds. He wanted to memorize your body, leave his mark on every inch of it, but his arms would not move from your hips. He knew that the moment he got his hands on you he would finally face insanity. There was not a single detail he wasn't already obsessed with. He wanted you so badly, but he didn't know what to do with himself. His cock was extremely swollen under his sweats, begging to find comfort in any crevice of your body you would allow. The fleeting thought of fucking your pretty tits flew through his mind, making him shudder as he continued to pant at the beautiful girl sitting on him.

"Touch me?", you asked, already guiding his hands to your breasts, making him sit up to be face to face with you.

"Holy fuck ..." he moaned at the warmth of your breasts in his hands. He couldn't help himself in getting his fill of you, hands squeezing and running all over your chest. The moment he dared to pinch at your nipples he truly saw heaven, hearing you whine his name in the prettiest sound he'd ever heard.

"Hoo-Hoonie ... Please. Touch me more. Just like that," you let your head fall back, sighing at the soft touch of his fingers pinching at your nipples, "Your mouth, Hoonie ..."

That was all he needed to lower his head and begin licking at your nipples, biting lightly as he pulled at them, dick twitching desperately at the pretty sounds leaving your lips. He could've sworn he'd cum just from how beautiful you sounded. His ears were ringing by now, only able to process the feeling of your hand pressing his face against your chest and your hips suddenly restarting their movements against his own.

You let him make out with your tits for a bit before pulling him off, much to his dismay. You giggled at his reaction, but began to pout at him to get him to remove his top.

"Shit. God, Hoonie, you're so gorgeous," you breathed out upon seeing his bare chest, running your hands up and down the blank canvas. You let your own fingers pull and pinch at his nipples a bit, slow in your movements as he whined at you. He understood now, how fucking good such a light touch in such a sensitive area felt. He was beginning to lose all air in his brain, mind foggy as you gave him all types of pleasure.

He needed you now. Needed attention in his nether area so bad. He could feel how wet you were through his sweats, softly begging you to please let him have you. The whisper against your ear had you pulling your hands away from his chest, separating yourself enough to look into his eyes.

"Want you too. Can I have it, Hoonie? Fuck ... Will you judge me if I beg? I just ... Want you in my mouth so bad, Hoonie, please."

He felt embarrassed by his reaction, but he couldn't help but moan loudly at that simple sentence, nodding like crazy at the proposition. The last time he'd been in someone's mouth had been years ago. He had felt intimate touch before, but only a handful of times total. He was fully unprepared for what your mouth encompassing him would feel like.

Before he knew it, you had thrown off both his pants and boxers, enticing him to sit at the edge of the bed as you knelt in front of him. You were looking at his cock as if it were your last meal, eyes crossed and a moan leaving your mouth at the sight. He couldn't believe a gorgeous thing like yourself would ever show so much thirst for him. His soul left his body the moment you lowered your tongue onto his tip, kitten-licking at it as you looked up into his eyes. What truly made him lose his mind, however, was the moment you began to bob your head up and down his cock, with your hands playing and scratching at his balls. His hands clutched at the sheets, unable to hold himself in a sat up position due to the unimaginable pleasure. He was unsure how he didn't cum the moment you put your mouth on him (or the moment you kissed him, if he was being honest).

"So- fuck ... So fucking good. You're perfect. Please ..." he wasn't sure what he was begging for. The pleasure was clouding his mind. And then you did something that had him gasping for air. You unglued your mouth from gagging on his cock in favor of licking and sucking at his balls. His eyes rolled all the way back into his brain, back arching against the bed as you took turns licking his balls and worshiping his cock.

Unsurprisingly, he came in your mouth moments later, almost blacking out at the feeling. He was unable to catch his breath for a good minute, all the while you swallowed his seed and sat back on him. Before he was able to resume his breathing, you had already shoved your tongue back in his mouth, making him whine at the mixture of your saliva and his cum twirling in your tongue. He couldn't help his hands running all over your body, hugging and squeezing at every curve he could reach.

"Baby, I-"

"Taste so good, Hoonie, fuck. You have no idea how much I thought about that. Every time you wore those tiny little shorts to dance practice all I wanted to do was kick everyone out and beg you to fuck my mouth."

Jesus Christ. He hated how outspoken you were sometimes. He felt himself begin to harden again at just the simple thought of you wanting him as much as he did you (even though he was 99% sure that was impossible). He felt bad, but he was a bit sad he had cum in your mouth. He had thought of the feeling of your cunt wrapping around him almost every night for the past month. He knew he'd get it sooner or later, but a sinister part of his brain was begging him to flip you around and go to town on you. He might've been inexperienced, but he knew that his body would take him there if he needed it.

"W-wanna ..."

"Hmm? Yeah, baby?", you softly caressed his cheek, looking at him with so much love in your eyes.

"Please ..." he couldn't bring himself to say it. He felt too ashamed at asking for even more out of you when he'd already made you do all the work to confess and even made him have the best orgasm of his life.

"Yeah, Hoonie? Want me? Want you too. You have no idea ..." he thanked god the moment you started grinding against his bare dick yet again, leaning down to lick at his lips, "Can I ride you, baby? Please ... Been dreaming about it."

All he could do was whine and nod as his hands squeezed at your ass, trying to entice you into lifting your hips so you could finally sit on his now hardened dick.

No words left his mouth as you finally lowered on him, all his focus on the pretty expression on your face as you moaned out at the feeling of being impaled by him. His back arched, head digging back into the mattress at the feeling of your cunt tightening around him. He felt your back arch too as you leaned down to kiss him, mouths open as you whined and mewled at each other.

You began humping him with no proper rhythm, causing him to thrust upwards to meet your own grinds. He was so desperate for you. Nothing compared to how good he felt in that moment. Your body was drawing all types of pleasure out of him.

"F-feel so good. Hoonie ... You're so- Ah! So fucking good for me."

"Me? You ... Shit. Never felt this good. You're perfect," you tightened at his words, making him plant his feet on the bed and begin to frantically fuck upwards, leading you to scream and whine his name for all his neighbors to hear.

"Love you so much- Fuck! Been wanting you forever. Didn't know how hard I'd fall for you that day, shit. You're everything to me," he couldn't help himself in rambling yet another confession in your ear as you attempted to match the animalistic pace of his thrusts.

"Love you too, Hoonie. You have n-no idea. Never letting you go. You- you're mine now," and yours he wanted to be forever.

Jihoon had never imagined he'd feel love like this as long as he was alive. He had lost hope in finding the perfect girl many years ago, assuming his lifestyle to be too difficult for him to find someone to love him so strongly, but now he had you. Now he had you in his arms as you professed your love for one another. He had never felt such happiness. His ability to think left him soon after, however, as you clamped down on him with yet another scream of his name as you found your end, taking him with you in his own.

After the two minutes or so that it took you to regain your breaths, you managed to cuddle up against each other, unable to stop caressing each other in one way or another. The smiles wouldn't leave your faces. Jihoon couldn't help but think of his life; how he had everything a man could ever want, and now he had you on top of all that, and you'd quickly become his favorite thing. You spent the rest of the day in his bed, making love and waxing poetic at one another. You completely disregarded any collab preparations for the day, opting instead to finally give into each other to the fullest extent.

Soon after, all promotions finally ended. You and Jihoon received equal accolades on your ability to mix both your styles, achieving a successful collaboration between two monster producers. The praise over being all rounders was also endless, as people commended you both for the production, vocals, dance, visuals and chemistry demonstrated all throughout the promotional period.

People noticed how comfortable you were around each other, despite having never publicly interacted before the release date of the single. People believed it was simply amazing work ethic being showcased by the two of you, but what didn't meet the public eye was the genuine love and enjoyment behind every interaction. The two of you had made it a point to begin appearing publicly together often from then on (strictly as friends to anyone who asked, of course), which allowed you to hide your relationship in plain sight.

Jihoon had never been happier, now having you as yet another companion to visit him at his Universe Factory any time he would lock himself in there to work, a habit that began to diminish as he grew more and more addicted to your company outside the confinement of those four walls.

Today was yet another one of those occasions, as you were sharing yet another meal together at the Hybe cafeteria. Staff was mostly unaware of the nature of your relationship, but you two liked it that way.

"Hey," you called out to him as you played around with his phone.

"Hmm?"

"Did you see this email from Bumzu?", he shook his head in denial, "He said Hybe's requesting your help producing for Gyu's collab with Jungkook. Cause of how well ours did."

"Yeah?", he chuckled, "Gonna have to talk to him. Not doing it without you."

"Oh, really?", you grinned at him, "Wanna team up again?", you leaned closer to him, but not too close to draw suspicion from the few other idols and staff around who were eating there.

"Mhm. You did most of the work. Couldn't've done it without you."

He knew that to be completely true, as he would've remained in his slump had you not come out of left field to make his life do a 180.

"Wanna team up with you for the rest of my life."

You smiled at him. He could see in your eyes you wanted to show some sort of affection towards him, but could not due to the public setting. All it took was one look between you for him to know you felt the same. You held his hand under the table, going back to conversation about your next possible collaboration together with your other labelmates, happy to have found a soulmate in one another.

a/n: idk how other writers are putting out 20k+ words monsters jesus christ. anyways i rlly hope u enjoyed <33 this concept had been plaguing my mind for a while so im rlly happy to have finally finished it!!

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koishiro · 1 month

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# - 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓 📍

masterlist | jjk masterlist | upcoming anon asks

=͟͟͞͞ ⌧ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋 : oh my god I’ve been gone for so long TT I’m so sorry (think of this as my comeback >:))

𝐂/𝐖 : implied afab! Reader, implies to anal (I’m not sorry).

a- aftercare, what's their aftercare like?

You best know he’s doing the upmost. After a few minutes of lying in bed (or wherever you happen to end up) he’ll make his way towards your bathroom and returns with a warm wash cloth before picking you up and guiding his way towards the bath he previously filled up as he quickly makes his way behind you, a fluffy towel placed on the heated towel wrack.

He’d let you dose off for a little while before softly waking you up so he can wash your hair and body. Don’t be surprised if you feel a slight poke to your lower back, it’s not his fault he’s got such a pretty little thing sat bare in front of him.

“‘You too tired for another round? What? ‘S not my fault you’re lookin’ all pretty f’me”

b- bodypart, whats their favourite bodypart and yours too? :

Ohohoho, your ass. Or should I say your ass and your hips. They’re just so plush and a guide of sorts as he locks his big hands on them to lead you up and down on his length. Even in mundane moments he just loves to grab onto your hips when he passes behind you or slap your ass every time you bend over to retrieve something. You go to grab the remote off the floor? Slap. You’re unloading laundry from the washing machine? Slap. You’re just minding your own business lying ass up on your bed? You’re just asking for it now.

When it comes to himself though? He’d have to say his thighs or arms/hands. He just loves to see the wet patch you leave behind after grinding yourself on his meaty thighs for only a few minutes. And he nearly goes feral from the way his hands look flat on your plush tummy, sexual or not. But he damn nearly loses his mind when he’s rutting into you and all he’s focused on is your bulging tummy and his hands softly tracing the outline of his throbbing cock.

“Look at you, d’you like the sight of my cock making you look so nice and full?”

c- cum, anything to do with cum :

You’re nearly convinced this man’s cum is never ending. Not only is it never ending but it’s thick as well. And if he’s not cumming inside, you best know you’ll be covered by the time he’s finished with you.

d-dirty secret, what's their dirtiest secret? :

His colleagues and friends wouldn’t count this as a secret considering he won’t exactly stop someone if they found out but he keeps a Polaroid of you in his wallet. Whenever he casually brings it up everyone would coo over how sweet he is until they actually come across said Polaroid only to find you in a very compromising position (with your consent ofc).

Everything on show, spread before him with his thighs either side of yours, one of your hands between your legs as the other leads a bead of his cum on the tip of your finger towards your lips and fucked out drunk eyes staring up at the camera lens. He’s just thoughtful like that, keeping a picture of his girl on him at all times.

Oh and you both also have a photo album specifically kept for nudes that sits on your shelf with the rest of your family albums.

“C’mon pretty, smile all nice now yeah? You never know who’ll stumble across this pretty picture of you. Gotta show ‘em who I’m buried in every night”

e- experience, how many times have they had sex? :

I’m going to be completely honest here, he’s had his fair share of hookups before he met you. But he wouldn’t think twice about them and he’d never even think of bringing them back his place, it would be too awkward waking up and not being able to ditch and forget so he sticks to their place, much easier and less of a mess in the long run.

f- favourite position, whats their favourite positions? :

Now this man will indulge in the occasional doggy style but it can’t beat the good fucking a mating press can provide. It just lets him get so deep and still be so close. I can imagine he’s a sucker for eye contact and this allows him to do just that while spilling the most vile words. And the way your tits bounce? It’s just the perfect position for him, what more could he ask for?

“Look at you taking me well, all dumb and fucked out, looking so pretty while I do all the work”

g- goofy, do they make jokes? :

Now this depends. If he’s had a bad day and he’s all worked up and frustrated, he just needs a good fuck (I say and he means with love, don’t degrade your worth bby) he’ll practically bend you over the nearest surface not thinking twice about the open windows, but by the ends when you’re both panting and heaving, he’ll make a small joke to lighten the mood, “well that was unexpected” or “thanks f’that doll. My own personal stress relief huh”. Other times when he feels more fluffy and sentimental, he’ll include small quips here and there, “who knew younger me would get the pretty girl in class”

h- hair, is he trimmed? does the carpet match the drapes? :

I like to think he’s completely shaved but I honestly think he has a little bit of hair, enough to coat his abdomen with a happy trail (who doesn’t like a happy trail) but mainly it’s trimmed down but still not fully shaved.

i-intimacy, how intimate are they? :

Again, this depends on his mood and/or a special event. If it’s something like your birthday? He’ll be nice and gentle but slowly work his way to being more rough but with sweet sentimental words woven in. If you happen to be in public? He’ll flirt like a teenager and like it’s his first time meeting you again which only leads to you bent over the sink in the public toilets or cramped in a cubicle with a hand over your mouth as he ruts up into you. (I’m getting off topic here). OH AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON BODY WORSHIPPING. You’ll never feel insecure again!-

Even in day-to-day life, he’ll sneak up and hug you from behind before asking how your day was (even if you were only apart for an hour max), he’d often bring home flowers of different kinds and he’d be clued up on the meanings behind them too.

“Look at these plush thighs all f’me, wrapping around my head so nice. An’ look at these tits, always so so sensitive. Love the lil’ dance you do when I so much as flick them”

j- jack off, how often are they jacking off? :

Fairy regular. Not a lot, considering he has you to come home to. So probably an average amount. Whenever he's away though he's jacking off a lot more. (That Polaroid comes in handy).

k- kink, what are their kinks? :

I don’t know if this counts as a kink but it gets him so hard when he has something that reminds him of you on him while gets down and dirty (does that make sense?), like for example he has a bracelet you gave him on his wrist made with so much thought and love while he fists your pretty pussy or when he’s just stood in line for a coffee and he looks down at the nail polish you did on him knowing where his fingers have been. He likes the thought that only he knows where they’ve been like a little secret between you both.

l- location, where would he take you? public person or private? :

Oh 110% he’d fuck you in public, no doubt in my mind. This man is a brat tamer and you can’t not agree with that. You’re acting up in public? He’ll having you whining with his hand buried deep in your pussy under the restaurant’s table. He’s the kind of guy to fuck you with the door slightly cracked open, leaving the slight chance that his roommate could either hear you or catch you in the act (he wouldn’t even stop you know it).

He does have his times though when he feels like being more private and wanting to keep you to himself, likes to take his time with you.

“Gotta be more quiet pretty girl, do’ya want someone to hear you? Whining all slutty? Is that what you want? You’d get off on that wouldn’t ya”

m- motivation, what motivates him? :

He’s a brat tamer and a chaser, strange mix I’m aware. But it just gets him so riled up when you start acting out, in public or not. He won’t think twice before bending you over the nearest surface (preferably his lap) while he makes you count until you’re too dumb to count any further.

There’s also a running theme in your relationship that keeps him wanting more. Before you were even in a relationship you’d always make it seem like you weren’t too interested in him but you’d leave hints for him to figure out so even now, in a long term relationship, you’ll both still play cat and mouse leaving his brain to haywire.

n- no, what wouldn't they do? :

Consent is a big, big thing in your relationship. He won’t do anything unless you verbally agree to it. You both even have a safe word for when things turn serious. Watersports and scat are both out the window because that’s just disgusting.

“C’mon pretty girl, use your words. Can you do that f’me? Can you use your words?”

o- oral, giving or receiving? :

This one’s a 50/50. As much as I want to say he’s a giver, I have to remind myself he’s also a brat tamer so the urge he has to just shove your head down on his girthy cock to shut you up is immense at times. But he also gets off on being covered in your cum. You could be doing the most mundane thing like catching up on your favourite tv show and he’s between your thighs lapping your essence up like it’s holy water (and boy does he need a lot of that). He’d even let you take a picture if that’s what you really want (yes please).

p- pace, how fast do they go? slow, fast? :

He’d purposefully put you in a false sense of security. Starting off slow and deep and gradually increasing faster and rougher. He’ll tease you by going slow and when you're both chasing your orgasm he starts to go faster. His words would follow as well, starting off sweet and sentimental and gradually turning dirtier and meaner.

q- quickies, are they a fan? :

Now, like I said before, this man loves public sex but that doesn’t mean he’s a big fan of quickies when doing so. Makes him feel like he’s using you sometimes and he certainly doesn’t want to make you feel like that. So he makes it up to you by going long and hard in the comfort of your own home. But sometimes it’s unavoidable, especially when he needs to leave in 15 minutes but how can he when you’ve just gotten out of the shower looking like that? And you know what you’re doing to him so of course he has to teach you a lesson right?

“Look what you’re doing t’me. Gonna make me late now cause of you acting up. What am I gonna say to the guys hm? That I had to fuck the attitude out of my girl? Is that what you want?”

r- risk, are they a risk taker? :

He'd never put you in harms way. So he wouldn't be one to take risks that could put you in danger or get you hurt somehow (like knife play etc). but he will fuck you somewhere you both could get caught. That’s just a given.

s- stamina, can they go for multiple rounds? :

Oh boy can he. In the end he has to hold you up by the hips while he continues to rut into you. He even keeps a glass of water to the side for you in moments like these. (Here’s your daily reminder to go drink some fckn water bby)

t- toys, do they experiment with toys? :

Hehe >:) you could say that yes. He once invested in vibrating panties he had you wear in public while you both walked around the mall hand in hand, it was in your best interest not to talk back to him that day. He also occasionally indulges in vibrators, bondage, butt plugs, analog beads (you get the gist). But he won’t be too pleased in toys for himself like cock rings.

But nothing can beat the feeling of his cock fucking you raw with nothing in the way, although he has sometimes double penetrated you with his cock and another toy.

u- unfair, how much will he tease you? :

He'll tease you for a good while, you'll be a whimpering and begging mess before he's even put it in you. Especially when toys are involved. He loves to see writhing and wriggling beneath him.

v- volume/verbal, are they loud? :

He's not so much as ‘loud’ but more reassuring and teasing in his words, making sure you’re comfortable the entire time. He also makes sure you know that you’re making him feel good too. Don’t get me wrong though, he groans and grunts for sure, both your moans and whimpers fill the silence in the room for sure.

“You okay baby? You holdin’ on? You’re doing so well, keep whining like that pretty. Got me acting some type’a way”

w- where does he prefer to cum? :

He loves to cum inside of you let him. Goes feral at the thought of knocking you up and watching his cum seep out of your puffy pussy before he fingers it back where it belongs. But at times where he’s not allowed, he loves to cover you in it (we all know this man cums a lot so be warned).

“I didn’t think you could possibly get any prettier, but look at you all covered in my cum. Let me take a picture so you can see for yourself”

x-ray, whats going on under those clothes? :

He’s 190cm (6’3) so I imagine him to be big. maybe like, 6.9 (😏) flacid, 7.2 hard. I also imagine him to be fairly thick but not too thick y’know? Maybe like the thickness of his own wrist (that’s probably not too good of an example but here we are). He also has a vein running across his shaft as he curves upwards. He’s not even really aware of his length either. He often thinks back to when you first saw his cock and he was slightly confused at your worried expression. Like what bae? Why so worried, I’ll make it fit.

y- yearning, what’s their sex drive like? :

I’d say Geto has an average sex drive. Not like a teenage boy where he was horny 25/8 but you both still fuck at least 3 times a day no ifs or buts, any time anywhere. Gotta close your fitness ring somehow. And you know when he’s in the mood cause he’ll snake his arms around you before they creep their way towards your tits, soon pawing at the flesh.

INTRUSIVE SIDE NOTE: Does anyone remember that post a while back where this girl had sex with her boyfriend and her parents had a notification from their watches saying they closed their fitness ring after an intensive workout? Yeah that’s you and Geto. That’s had to have happened at least once. No doubt in my mind.

z- zzz :

Geto will not sleep until you're cleaned, hair is washed and brushed out of your face, you’ve drank a full cup of water, skin care outta the way (ofc he memorised it who do you think he is) literally every single need you have has to be met will he then sleep. Once you both do eventually sleep, he has you tucked to his side or directly on top of his chest. He does often hug you from behind though, only so he can grope your tit and fall asleep in that exact position.

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noneorother · 5 months

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The secret timeline inside of Good Omens season 2 revealed, *part1*

Part 1 l Part 2

If you’ve ever watched a ballet or an opera, you know how the rhythm in the music is used throughout to determine not only the movements of the dancers, but also when lines are sung or spoken. This is almost unheard of in television, but what if I told you it was hidden in season 2 of Good Omens? If one were to, say, meticulously cut together only the scenes set in the present day into one big timeline, you would get one long video that is exactly 2 hours 22 minutes 00 seconds and 00 frames long. An ineffable cut that is so perfect it defies all logic. (I’ve burnt a timecode into this ineffable edit to help pick up the rhythm.)

Even though there are large swathes of the second season with no music, there is a constant tempo weaving its way through the show: What if the seconds ticking by in the runtime itself was the music? Here’s an example of what I found. Behold a supercut of every single time Shax shows up, or Hell is mentioned in series 2 in the ineffable edit. They always arrive on a 6 in the time stamp (ex: 00:XX:X6).

(SOUND ON is an absolute must here, otherwise you won't hear any of the triggers)

Shax rings Crowley on a XX:X6. Shax miracles herself into the car on a XX:X6. Shax knocks on windows on a XX:X6. Shax’s big scary moment at the bookshop happens at 66 minutes exactly (lol). Crowley calls out for Shax on a XX:X6. Beelzebub starts spewing flies on a 6. People mention hell and it’s always on XX:X6 etc. etc…(Bonus: I also left in Maggie flipping the damned the double-bird on a XX:X6) I’ve also left in the only appearance of Shax or hell at all in the whole series that isn’t tied to a six: the park bench scene with Crowley. Shax seems to be off by one line, showing up on a XX:10, then back to XX:X6 on her second reply: “Bills, mostly”. I can only theorise that this scene, while technically in season 2, is not supposed to *be* in season 2 (even just judging by the trees, sun and the overcoats, it’s not summer like in the rest of the season). And it’s not only sixes! Every time I go through I find more and more little beats that line up exactly with ineffable timings. I can only do one video per post, so I’ll have to cut it up into sections, but Gabriel, doors, car horns, bird calls, Aziraphale, food, drinks, Angels, dialogue, Maggie, Nina, jokes, clocks, bells… The list goes on and on.

Neil called this season “The bridge”

Because we all know how much Neil loves double meanings and wordplay, I just have to ponder the idea that when Neil said this season was “the bridge” between seasons 1 and 3, he meant it double-literally. First, as in the bridge Aziraphale and Crowley have to cross in order to get them into position for the second coming. We even see the physical manifestation of this bridge leading everyone in the background of the opening credits. But this season is also a bridge in the sense that it’s a musical section that introduces new ideas or material in the middle of a song. This whole season is the music that deviates from the familiar, and re-contextualizes the chorus and the verses so we can appreciate them in a new way.

Let’s not forget that 2:22 is also exactly the same timing as this (and only this) track from the good omens s2 album (read all about the soundtrack here):

Why is this so bonkers? I think GOS2 might be the first ever “Total” series of television.

Having everything in the series timed and choreographed would actually make it a very faithful adaptation of the Powell & Pressburger film The Tales of Hoffmann (read about the movie and it’s effect on all of s2 here). If you watch the tales of Hoffman, you will realize that the entire film is actually done more like animation, with the music and vocals all performed in a studio, mixed and edited first, and then the actors came back to act out their choreographed and lip-synched parts for the cameras afterwards. The result is "Total film": a movie that feels more like a ballet, with every movement, action, and line happening in time with the music. As far as I can tell, very few films have ever attempted this, with The Tales of Hoffmann and Playtime being the only two “complete” films I could find in this style. (The Red shoes has one section, and An American In Paris has a few)

“Why would ambitious filmmakers simply film an opera? Many admirers of the work of Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger have assumed that their decision to make The Tales of Hoffmann (…) was in some way an admission(…) that they couldn’t go on making their edgy, over-the-top melodramas after the rejection and interference they’d suffered, (but) there’s a case for considering The Tales of Hoffmann as one of the finest and boldest works that Powell and Pressburger produced, so far ahead of its time as a wholly “composed” film... Late in his life, Powell himself said that he thought it was one of the best films that he and Pressburger had made.” - Criterion review, Tales of Hoffmann

Here’s a simple example from An American in Paris

youtube

If season 2 *is* scripted and choreographed to line up with specific timings, I’m pretty sure that would make this the first ever “total” or “composed” season of television ever attempted. Not only does this take an ASTOUNDING amount of planning, scripting and editing finesse, not to mention a completely controlled set, it takes a real understanding of how to perform as an actor using rhythm and metre, which would go a long way to explain why all of the main actors coming back for season 2, with the exception of John Hamm, are well regarded theatre performers, (especially of Shakespeare).

I’ll leave you with one last surprise I found in the discovery of the ineffable edit: remember Aziraphale’s smile at the very end if the credits? It happens on 02:23:03, as the first step off the bridge, and into season 3.

I will have much more in the next ineffable timeline post. Stay tuned…

__________________________________________

Thanks for reading all the way to the end. It’s taken me a solid month to get this perfect. There are so many hidden cuts and jumps to take into account, and I had a frame rate issue that kept exporting to 29fps instead of 25fps, but I’ve finally nailed the ineffable timeline enough that I am confident sharing in it.

Credits to @thebluestgreen and @embracing-the-ineffable for all the support and help with editing and just general good vibes.

#good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens season two #art director talks good omens #go season 2 #go meta #good omens season 2 #crowley x aziraphale #good omens spoilers #good omens analysis #good omens

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yeonzzzn · 2 months

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🪐drops of jupiter: taehyun

pairing: taehyun x afab!reader word count: 2.9k

synopsis: after yours and taehyun’s breakup, your group goes on tour which is exactly what you needed. a year long world tour to distract you from the pains your heart felt. but once your group comes back from the tour and is preparing for your next comeback, txt is also preparing a comeback of their own that involves your group. you and taehyun have no choice but rekindle a friendship for the sake of your members, fans, and each other.

genre: ex-lovers to lovers, idol!taehyun, idol!reader.

warnings: swearing, alcohol mentions, taehyun is so down bad for reader, make-out session, let me know if I missed anything!

♫“Now that she’s back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair…”♫

Taehyun stood there in shock, a towel wrapped around her neck, sweat dripping down his face, and boxing gloves in one hand, his water bottle in another.

You slowly thinned your lips in a line, not expecting to see him again so soon after getting back from tour.

And the thing was, Taehyun wasn't either. He knew you got back to Seoul a few days ago(thanks to his amazing stalking skills aka stealing Soobin’s phone and Instagram account to look at yours), but he wasn’t expecting you to be standing inside the elevator when the doors opened after he just finished his gym workout.

All Taehyun could do was look at you and take notice of how uncomfortable you looked. It took everything in him to not burst into tears and rush over to you.

You also wanted nothing more than to go to him, but after everything that happened with the two of you…you knew you couldn’t.

“Taehyun!!!” your group members cheered.

It took Taehyun a second to register his name being called by your group mates, he didn’t even realize they were in the elevator with you.

The oldest member, and the leader, pulled Taehyun into the elevator, and the doors closed.

“Perfect timing!” She cheered, “Soobin called us all for a meeting!”

“Did he?” Tae said barely above a whisper, “I had no idea…”

Your leader realized she spoiled the secret meeting, you also had no idea what was going on until you were dragged inside the HYBE building.

And by the looks of it, Soobin kept it a secret from Taehyun too.

You noticed how…sad he looked. Part of you hoped he’d be happy to see you, but you also understood that he probably would have been happy if the circumstances were different.

It’s been over a year since you’ve seen him.

Taehyun and you secretly dated, not from your companies or bandmates, but from the world.

You and your group just freshly debuted and your first album was a major hit. So you all went out to celebrate at a club that the group Tomorrow X Together just happened to be at as well.

And that’s how you met Taehyun. The two of you hit it off so smoothly, even made out in the back of the club. Granted, you both were drunk and out of it, but when you woke up that next morning with a text from him with his name saved as “Tyun💚” saying how he wanted to take you out on a date and properly kiss you…you were so down bad.

He was everything you could have ever wanted. He opened doors for you, and always waited outside your company building or dorm building until you texted him saying you made it to where you needed to be safely before he left. Always made sure you were warm, giving you his jacket or wrapping you closely in his arms. Always making sure you ate and drank water and if you didn’t he would be practically breaking down your dorm or company's door down to give you food. He took care of you.

You fell hard for him and loved everything about him. From the way he has his little shy habits, to the way he said your name and how you looked at you. Loved the way he’d lay you down on his bed and make love to you like you were the greatest thing that was put on this earth.

But as fast as everything came together, it just as quickly crashed and burned.

Rumors between the two of you started circulating, articles being popped out by every famous news site every single day. And it tore at your relationship.

You were ready to go public. Ready to step into that light with him.

But Taehyun…wasn’t.

It was the first major disagreement the two of you had. You’ve had fights, sure, but it was never like this.

To say Taehyun was scared would be an understatement. It was already bad enough that he had to be careful and watch every movement or word he said. The public eye was ruthless and the last thing he wanted was your name to get dragged in the mud. You were Taehyun’s first real relationship, he’s dated around sure, but it was nothing compared to you.

You and Tae couldn’t get to an agreement which ultimately ended your relationship.

“Guess you really don’t actually care or love me enough to go public, because if you did this would be such an easy decision to make but apparently it’s not. Goodbye, Taehyun.”

It was the last thing you said to him as you stormed out of his dorm room, leaving him sitting on his bed watching as you walked out of his life.

Taehyun regretted not chasing after you every single day since then. Regretting not listening to you and giving it a chance.

He was so in love with you, and he wished he could have said that instead of watching you leave.

Not even a week later your company announced that your group was going on a world tour and was hitting the airport a month later.

You felt like you needed this, to get out and away from Seoul and from him. It was the perfect way to get space and to help you move on.

But here you were, back in Seoul and here he was standing in front of you, and your heart still beats for him all the same.

To say Taehyun was pissed would be silly, he was more than pissed. You could practically see the smoke blowing from his ears as he stormed up to Soobin, fists clenched and jaw locked.

“Want to tell me why this was kept as a secret!?!”

Soobin just stood there, an awkward smile on his face as he glanced between his bandmate and your group, “Surprise?”

Oh, Taehyun will show him a surprise later. Of his fist meeting Soobin’s perfect nose.

It didn’t take long for the rest of the TXT members to appear, everyone giving their greetings and hugs.

“It’s nice seeing you again,” Yeonjun said, pulling you into a tight hug, “How was your tour?”

You hugged him back, “It was great, seeing the world is always fun.”

Yeonjun smiled at you. You could tell he was genuinely happy to see you again after so long.

Besides, both your groups got close during your time dating Taehyun.

Once both groups settled down, your leader and Soobin announced why we were all gathered here today.

A collaboration.

And also apparently everyone knew about this collaboration…except you and Taehyun. Because of course, why not?

The song would be a love song(because of course, it would be). It would be so upbeat and happy. The choreography would be of two lovers dancing together in perfect harmony. The promotions would be through TikTok with the challenge, along with posting them on Instagram and Twitter. It honestly was a great idea and really beautiful, whoever came up with this idea was a genius.

But the problem was you and Taehyun.

After the breakup and going no contact, the effect on the media was…well negative. Went just about as good as you’d thought. Mostly after both you and Taehyun “admitted” to the media that there was no relationship at all.

You were both awkward, not looking at each other or even interacting at all during the whole meeting.

This is exactly why Soobin didn’t tell Taehyun and your leader didn’t tell you.

Once you and your group left, Taehyun was both in his fierce anger, “Why didn’t you tell me Bin?!?”

Soobin shuddered under the use of his nickname being thrown out of the younger mouth the way it did.

“Because I knew you would either have A: not shown up, or B: busted down the doors and made it even more awkward between the two of you.”

Point…taken. Tae knew that if he did know about this collaboration, he would have done everything possible to make himself look presentable for you.

Man was so down bad for you still and it showed by his actions throughout the following week.

Anytime you needed water? Tae was jumping up to grab you a bottle. Hungry? He was rushing to grab you a snack.

You sneezed? He was grabbing the tissue box.

You had to admit, it was cute and you adored it, but it still felt so awkward and everyone else was noticing it too. You two barely spoke to each other at all but he was at your every waking call.

Before you knew it two weeks had flown by and the song was officially recorded and completed. Now all that was felt was finishing up the choreography, filming the music video, and making the TikToks, which was the real challenge.

Mostly because your groups decided to put the two of you together as the “lovers” of the music video and dance challenges in a way and hopes of getting the two of you to rekindle and make up.

The group practices were awkward and nerve-racking.

You didn’t understand why both leaders decided it was a good idea, why any of this was a good idea.

You both had comebacks soon, shouldn’t each group just be focusing on that?

You arrived at the HYBE building early for practice, wanting to get a head start and prepare yourself for the next two hours.

Today would be the day they finally have you and Tae work together on the dance. Before today it was just the two of you mirroring the choreographers, but today was the real deal.

Unfortunately for you, Taehyun had the same idea.

You walked into the practice room, already seeing him in the middle of the room doing stretches.

His heart nearly dropped seeing you, “Oh, hi YN…”

“Hello..” you softly whispered back, making your way into the room.

He didn’t know what to say. Everything was so awkward, and he had no idea how to fix it.

“I’ll just…” he pointed to the door, slowly starting to walk out.

“You don’t have to leave,” you quickly said, “We have to practice together today anyways, might as well stay.”

Tae just nodded, trying to think of anything to start a conversation with you. But failing anyway.

“We don’t have to do this,” you finally said, sitting down on the floor to start your own stretches, “Let’s just get through this until the promotions are over.”

Without understanding why, your words were all it took for him to cut his shyness away.

“Is that really what you want?”

The way he said it was enough to send chills down your spine, he wasn’t stumbling over his words, showed no sign of being awkward, and it was so clearly cutthroat.

You just shrugged, “It’s probably what you want.”

Taehyun scoffed, “There you go again acting like you know what I want.”

And now you were pissed.

“Excuse me?” You snapped, jumping to your feet.

“I said what I said, YN,” He said with a roll of his eyes, “You’ve been acting like you know what I want ever since our relationship went toxic.”

“Oh, please then Kang Taehyun, tell me what it is you want since I seem to be unknowing.”

He folded his arms over his chest, “I want us to drop whatever this is, and rekindle our once friendship, we are stuck with each other whether we like it or not.”

You knew he was right, and it would benefit both groups to just… makeup.

So you nodded, “Fine, we can do that.”

Taehyun relaxed, but not because you agreed to rekindle, but because of the way your eyes glossed over, “Hey hey, why are you crying?”

He walked closer to you, his hands hovering, not knowing if touching you was acceptable. You took a few steps away from him.

“YN, please talk to m—“

“How can I just rekindle everything with you when my heart isn’t over everything? Isn’t over you. It must have been so easy for you.”

Taehyun tilted his head in confusion, “What?”

You wiped your eyes with your palms, “I stalked your socials pretty much every single night while I was gone on tour,” you admitted. If the two of you were going to rekindle, might as well unload everything, “I saw how happy you were, saw all the interactions, and you got over me so easily. Makes sense since you didn’t want to go public about our relationship.”

Taehyun was stunned, how could you possibly think he was over you? He’s the biggest simp for you, has that not been obvious with how he did everything possible for you since you’ve been here? Did you think it was just something he was doing out of pure habit?

“You’re not over me?” was all Tae was able to say, those words repeating over and over in his head.

You rolled your eyes, “Is that all you heard out of all that? Seriously Taehyun? I can’t believe—“

And you were cut off. Taehyun had his arms wrapped around you, lips crashing to yours. His body going on autopilot and pressing you up against the mirrored wall.

Part of you wanted to fight him, the other part wanted to bring him closer. You chose to bring him closer, snaking your fingers into his hair.

“I am nowhere close to being over you,” he whispered between kisses, his hands flying to either side of your head, trapping you against him and the mirror.

You pulled away from the kiss, leaning your head against the mirror, wanting to see the look on his face when you asked him to repeat himself.

“I said I am nowhere close to being over you, YN,” he pressed his forehead against yours, “I stalked your socials with Soobin’s accounts. I watched every single fancam that came out of you. Saved every cute selfie you posted and counted down the days until you landed back in Seoul.”

You took a deep breath and it came out more shaky than you wanted, “Why? You didn’t want to go public with me.”

“Because I was scared,” he took a deep breath as well, “I was a coward, I was stupid. I was scared of how the media would treat you after it was out. I am in love with you, YN, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret the decision I made.”

You kept eye contact with him the entire time he spoke. You knew him inside and out. You could see just how badly this breakup was killing him now that he had broken down those walls.

“I kept praying, hoping that while you were out there amongst all the space of this big ole world that you’d miss me so bad and by some act of fate to bring you back to me.”

Your hands reached up, cupping his face, “I did miss you. More than I can even admit.”

“I am so sorry, YN, and I cannot ever forgive myself for letting you go so easily.”

His eyes teared up, his heart rate paced faster and he felt like if he didn’t push away from you right now he would completely break down.

“Then don’t let me go now.”

He searched your eyes, “What?”

“Don’t let me go,” you pressed your lips back to his, “please don’t let me go.”

It’s all he needed to hear to press his body completely against yours, kissing you so hard and passionately as if these kisses would make up for the year you were away from him.

He parted your lips with his tongue, letting the muscle explore your mouth, a small moan escaping.

“God,” he whispered between a kiss, “I’ve missed your sweet sounds,”

You giggled against his lips, “You can’t just say things like that.”

“I can’t help it,” he placed his forehead back against yours, “You make me crazy.”

Before you could reach up for his lips again, the practice room door opened, forcing Taehyun away from you and you to quickly rush away from the mirror.

Huening Kai was the first in the room, him stopping to raise a brow at you two, barely seeing how you both rushed away from each other, “Did we interrupt something?”

Taehyun hummed, “Hmm? Oh, nah! We just got here early.”

Soobin wasn’t buying it, mostly not after seeing Taehyun’s handprints on the mirror, “I am guessing the two of you made up?”

You and Tae glanced at each other, small smiles filling your faces.

“More like made out,” Beomgyu said, clearly grossed out, “Can’t even hide the obvious boner he has and how fucked his hair looks.”

Taehyun slowly turned and faced the mirror, seeing the state his body was in, “I am going to kill you Beomgyu,”

With the two of you making up, and ultimately deciding to give your relationship a second chance, the rest of the recording of the music video and the TikToks for the promotions went by smoothly.

Once the song was released and all the videos dropped, you and Taehyun were the talk of the town.

The public’s reaction was better than Tae hoped, it eased his mind and he was finally ready to go public with you. Ready to show you off to the world. To let everyone know that he, Kang Taehyun, cuffed you.

And that he was never going to let you go again.

a/n: I am so sorry that this probably sucks...it was very rushed and I lost inspiration for it since this sat in my drafts for so long. I hope you all still enjoy it.

#tyun #kang taehyun #taehyun #taehyun x reader #reader x taehyun #myfivestars #txt #txt x reader #reader x txt #tomorrow x together #txt fanfiction #txt scenarios #txt fanfic #txt imagines #ex lovers #best friends #yeonzzzn writing

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sunkissed-zegras · 6 days

Text

𝐈 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 / 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐂𝐄 / 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 ─ JH⁸⁶

TRACK 18 ─── IMGONNAGETYOUBACK

TTPD CELLY MASTERLIST !

౨ৎ ─ summary | almost a year ago, your whole was shattered by the one person you'd never thought would hurt you. and now you were back in the city where it all started with one simple mission ─ get him back.

─ word count | 2.5k

─ warnings | oof where do i begin, angst? obviously second-chance romance, slightly suggestive, mention of drinking/getting tipsy, jack being a cocky ass, slightly fluffy? idk just a lot of word vomit but yeah!

─ taglist |

─ ev's notes | yaya! first ttpd celly fic is out!! hoorayyeeee!!! also i've been listening to this album like on fucking repeat since friday and holy shit, this is probably my third fav now (sorry speak now). i also literally can't choose a fav but according to my music app, i've listened to so high school 72 times since it came out!!!!!!!!

YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER COME back to New Jersey ─ but, here you were.

How you ended up here, tipsy and alone in this bar? You're not exactly sure. What you do know is that the night started in your childhood home with your parent's very expensive bottle of wine. And now you were here, in downtown Jersey in one of your old high school dresses that fits a little tighter than it did almost 5 years ago.

Your lips were stained red as you ordered another glass of Blueberry Gin & Tonic. You didn't know when you had started drinking Gin & Tonic but a lot had changed in the last couple of months. You didn't even know who you really were anymore, it was blurry.

And you could blame all of that on your high-school sweetheart ─ the person you'd thought you'd spend the rest of your life with. Key word: thought, as in past-tense.

As you swirled the ice in your glass, memories flooded back like a tidal wave crashing against the shore of your mind. The late-night drives down highway roads, the whispered promises of forever, and the way your heart used to skip a beat at the sight of his smile. But somewhere along the way, those promises faded into echoes, and the smiles became almost bitter memories.

It all came crashing down a few months ago. The pain was like a dagger through your heart, leaving you gasping for air in a world suddenly devoid of color. You lost the one person in your life who made you, you. You had to relearn who you really were without him.

And in the aftermath, you tried to pick up the pieces of your shattered and almost confusing life, but the wounds were too deep, the scars too raw. So you ran, running from the memories that now haunted you, seeking solace in the anonymity of far-away cities and unfamiliar faces.

But no matter how far you ran, you couldn't outrun the ghosts of your past. They followed you like shadows, lurking in the corners of your mind, waiting for a moment of weakness to strike.

And tonight was no different.

When your eyes locked with his familiar blue ones, a particular ghost of your past appeared. And you didn't miss the way you felt your heart skip a beat when you saw his now grown-out hair (you'd never let him grow it out when you were together) and his soft stubble that you always made him shave. But it suited him, he looked more mature.

But you weren't surprised, it almost seemed like fate. Almost. If it weren't for the fact that you knew, in the back of your mind, he always liked spending his Saturdays playing pool with his friends, in this exact bar. You pretended like you hadn't planned this entire thing.

And so you feigned ignorance, pretending as if you hadn't noticed him at all. You kept gazing at him, taking him in. You felt the anger rise in your body as your nose flared, beginning to think sober up again. You took another swig of your drink and turned away from him, you could practically hear the wheels turning inside his head as he analyzed you right back.

A few moments pass and as you predicted, you felt a tap on your shoulder. "Y/N?"

You met his gaze and it felt so much different from the last time he'd looked at you. He looked... surprised? Is that even the right word? You felt his eyes scan you up and down, the tight dress fitting you perfectly in his mind.

You, too, had changed since the last time he'd saw you. Your hair was slightly shorter and more put together, you looked healthier and more mature. Less like a teenager and more like an adult now, but that's just how aging works, right? Not only did your looks change, but the way you carried yourself.

God, you were sexy. Jack always knew you were beautiful, it was undeniable. But after not seeing you for months now, you looked like a dream ─ a hauntingly beautiful vision that stirred something deep within him. He couldn't help but be mesmerized by the way you carried yourself, with a newfound confidence and poise that spoke of strength.

He was at a loss of words. But it was Jack, of course he didn't let it show. He plastered on his award-winning smirk and let his gaze fall back on to your face. "I didn't know you were back in Jersey, you shoulda texted."

Your face contorted into surprise. Was he really trying to pretend like nothing happened? Oh, two can play that game. "I was just visiting family." Your red lips turned into a tipsy smile. "But you're right, I should've texted. How have you been?"

"Awesome. Is this seat taken?" Jack didn't wait for an answer, he just pulled out a chair and sat down. He glanced down at your drink, the smirk still very much evident in face.

God, how much you wanted to just smash his face in. But you swallowed the anger with your drink, letting him study you for a few more moments.

"Since when do you drink?" His tone was amused as he watched you swallow the liquid so effortlessly, like it was water.

Since you left, you wanted to shout. "Not until recently."

You watched as he leaned back in his chair, studying you with an intensity that made your skin crawl. "And what brought about this newfound appreciation for alcohol?" He asked, his tone still but the underlying curiosity evident in his eyes.

"Life." you said simply, your voice barely above a whisper. "Life has a funny way of changing things."

He nodded, as if he understood, but you could see the doubt flickering behind his eyes. He didn't know the half of it, didn't know the pain and the heartache you had endured in his absence. And part of you wanted to keep it that way, wanted to shield him from the truth of how much he had hurt you.

But another part of you, a smaller part buried deep within all the hurt and bitterness, wanted him to know. Wanted him to see the scars he had left on your soul, to feel the weight of the words left unsaid between you. But not to burden him, to somehow reverse all the pain he'd caused you.

"So, what have you been up to?" you asked, deflecting the conversation away from yourself. "Anything exciting?" By anything, you really meant anyone.

You saw the way Jack's smirk faltered as he shook his head. "Nope, nothin' new." But he knew that you knew the real answer.

Two months, it took him two months to move on from a 4 year relationship. "Really?" you asked, your voice laced with skepticism. "No new hobbies, no new friends, no new... interests?"

Jack chuckled, a sheepish grin spreading across his face as he leaned in closer to you, his gaze locking with yours in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. "Well, I might have picked up a few new hobbies," he admitted, his voice low. "But nothing as exciting as running into you here, that's for sure."

Despite yourself, you felt a small, genuine smile tug at the corners of your lips at his charming response. He had always had a way with words, a charisma that could disarm even the most guarded of hearts.

"There she is," his voice was soft as he watched the curves of your lips turn upward. "I missed that."

His words sent a warm flutter through your chest, a mixture of nostalgia and longing swirling within you like a whirlpool. Despite everything that had happened between you, there was still a part of you that missed the comfort of his presence, the familiarity of his smile.

"Well, don't let it get to your head," you teased, although the playful tone of your voice couldn't mask the vulnerability lurking beneath the surface. "I wouldn't want you thinking you can charm your way out of everything."

"I'm not trying to, trust me. I can't help it." Jack smirked as he shrugged. "And for the record, I did miss it. I don't remember the last time I've seen your genuine smile."

Your smile faltered as your stomach squeezed in anxiety. The last couple of months of your relationship was spent only arguing, and the smiles had become a rarity, buried beneath layers of resentment and hurt. You swallowed hard, the memories of those final days weighing heavy on your heart like a rock.

"Yeah, well, it's been a while," you said, your voice barely above a whisper as you fought to push aside the memories threatening to overwhelm you. "A lot has changed since then."

"I can tell," his eyes scanned your body and you felt your heart jump. He wet his lips as his blue eyes met yours again, a grin playing on his lips. "I remember this dress. You wore it at my draft party, I remember."

Your breath caught in your throat at his words, memories of that night flooding back with a rush of emotions. You remembered the excitement in the air, the pride shining in his family's eyes as he celebrated the culmination of years of hard work and dedication.

"Yeah, I remember," you said softly, your voice tinged with nostalgia. "It feels like so long ago."

Jack nodded, a wistful smile playing at the corners of his lips as he reached across the table to brush a stray lock of hair from your face, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. "I never forgot that night," he said, his voice low and sincere. "Or how beautiful you looked in this dress."

Your heart skipped a beat and you felt like the air was knocked out of you at his words. Goddamn him, his smooth-talk, and that damned cologne that made you feel high off of him. "Shut up," was all you could muster as Jack chuckled.

"Let's go take a walk."

And like always, Jack didn't wait for an answer. He just grabbed your hand and began walking toward the exit. Your mind raced as Jack's touch sent a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins. And despite your inner turmoil and the warning bells ringing in your head, there was a part of you that couldn't resist the pull of his charm, the familiarity of his touch.

You hated how he still had this effect on you and how confident he was, he always made decisions for you. You're not sure if it's really a bad thing, because how can something so bad feel so insanely good?

"Okay," you said softly more to yourself than him, your voice barely above a whisper. You allowed him to lead you away from the dimly lit bar and out into the cool night air.

As you walked side by side, the silence between you heavy with unspoken words and unresolved tension, you couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu wash over you. It was like stepping back in time, back to a simpler era when the world was young and full of promise.

Jack pulled you into his chest as you walked, his arm wrapping protectively around your shoulders as you leaned into him, seeking solace in his familiar warmth.

Despite everything, despite the pain and the heartache, a part of you still longed for the comfort of his embrace, for the reassurance of his presence by your side.

"The dress still fits you so well," Jack finally spoke up. You could feel practically hear the grin on his face as you rolled your eyes, a smile tugging on your lips.

"Yeah, well, it's a good thing I haven't outgrown it," you replied, your voice light and teasing as you leaned into his embrace subconsciously.

Jack chuckled, his arm tightening around you. "You'd look in a garbage bag, princess. You can never outgrow anything."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Jack." You quipped.

"It's gotten me this fair, huh?" Jack's tone was amused as you felt yourself roll your eyes at his cockiness. He let out a laugh as he squeezed your arms, the way he knew you liked.

You wanted to slap the smirk off his face but instead, you just shook your head at his teasing. He still knew you so well, even after so long. As much as you wanted to resist his charm, there was a small part of you that couldn't help but be swept away by it. Jack had always had a way of getting under your skin, of finding the cracks in your armor and worming his way into your heart.

"You're insufferable," you said, though the teasing lilt in your voice betrayed the fondness you couldn't quite suppress.

Jack chuckled, his laughter warm and infectious as he leaned in closer to press a kiss to your temple, his lips lingering against your skin for a moment longer than necessary.

"But you love me anyway," he said, his voice soft as he met your gaze with a knowing smile.

You couldn't deny the truth of his words, no matter how much you wanted to. Despite everything, despite the pain and the heartache, a part of you still loved him ─ had always loved him. Would you always love him?

You gazed back at him, his grin even bigger as his hand squeezed your arms again. The more you stared, the more you slipped back right where he wanted. Fuck, you were back.

Your hands came up to touch his soft stubble, one of the many new things about him. Something you never thought you'd like, you swore his clean-face was your favorite but he proved you wrong.

"You like it?" Jack asked, his voice low and husky as he watched you trace your fingers along his stubbled jawline. There was a glint of satisfaction in his eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the power he still held over you.

"Yeah," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper as you met his gaze, your fingers lingering against his stubble. "It suits you. You look... different, but in a good way."

A smile tugged at the corners of Jack's lips, his eyes sparkling with gratitude as he reached up to gently cup your cheek in his hand, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

"Thank you," he said, his voice warm with sincerity. "I'm glad you think so."

You smiled genuinely, the anger slowly dissipating as you looked into the eyes of the man you'd once loved, wholeheartedly. His face may have changed but his gaze was still the same, the same blue eyes you'd been drawn to from the beginning.

"Let's head back to the car, yeah?" His voice came out hoarse and low, you could hear practically hear the need in his voice. And again, you let him lead you back to his car and eventually, to his home.

Your lips curved into a smirk, you'd had gotten exactly what you'd sought out to do. You'd gotten him back, but who ever doubted you?

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

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velvetmud · 1 year

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Stanley Kubrick on film

joel finds a camera and expresses his desire to make a smut film.

warning(s): 18+ explicit, daddy kink, smoking weed, also lots of dirty talk, dirty things

silver fox two decades into outbreak!joel where cameras are a rare thing to come across but somehow weed isn’t. not a request just another fun little thing that kinda came out of nowhere. still working on some other stuff ! why he always comes out so dirty in everything i start to write is beyond me :)

the smell of smoke, sweat, and sex filled the air of the quaint room.

the stereo’s playing a mixtape from some romantic-alternative nineties albums on shuffle. joel bought a quarter ounce of weed from one of Tommy’s friends. went as far as lighting all kinds of candles and placing them throughout on various countertops. as soon as you walked in you couldn’t help yourself from grabbing him and laughing, “are you trying to fuck me or set me on fire?”

he grumbled about this being one of his trying efforts to woo you. while you relax and unwind together sharing the first spliff, he pointedly mentions how he found a camera while he was going out salvaging for stupid goodies with Ellie that afternoon. screen uncracked, quality like new. even the battery was at a lucky hundred percent. he wanted to take advantage of a lingering fantasy now that he’d been presented with an open opportunity.

it wasn’t until a few hours later, fucking and devouring you every way you’ve always liked, he managed to assure you only his and your eyes get to re-watch the hypothetical smutty tape.

reality also was that you got high and felt too fucked out to put up a fight anymore, and he needed to savor it all on film.

it wasn’t necessarily a hypothetical anymore.

joel’s hungry expression hides behind the camera lens as his thumb clicked to capture your each and every movement. he went on to start video recording after a little while of obtaining a lengthy photo gallery.

while he’s puffing on the roach end of another joint, he blows the smoke out from the side of his mouth. puts it down and starts to focus solely on you, ashing whatever’s left. he could see you were already smoked out over half an hour ago anyway. once he gets his fill of watching you tease yourself, rubbing your tits, thighs and legs up and down, he coaches you into opening up a little more.

“yeah, yeah. don’t be afraid to spread those lips apart—just like that, atta girl. gorgeous.”

he zooms in on your naked legs until the screen shows nothing but your drooling, freshly fucked pussy into frame. still pulsing around nothing, leaking the cum that’s yours and his combined inside.

sweat sticks to his forehead and his hair is comparable to a birds nest at this point. he’s hard again, even if he’s drained his dick in you several times in different places earlier. he easily slips into the role of film director, starts telling you how to move and what to say.

“gonna play this back and watch it whenever I miss you. wanna thank you for doing this, baby,” he sighs. runs his hands up your legs with admiration. “let’s see that pussy, yeah. spread ‘em nice and wide, wanna see.” two of his fingers scissor your puffy lips open. his thick spend slowly starts running down your leg.

“fuck, that’s gorgeous. looks so pretty when you’re all used up. full of my cum.” he already knows future him will easily finish less than two minutes into this. “tell the camera who fucked this sweet pussy.”

”you did daddy…” you answer, shy pink cheeks stuffed into the pillow, turned over to the side.

“mmm it’s okay, baby girl. don’t gotta be shy. you know I’ll always tell you exactly how bad I want you.” he breathes, leaning his head down to yours to hold your chin as he spoke. the camera’s still in joel’s grip. it picks up the soft sounds of his rough voice reassuring you. gentle and smiling. he just wants to watch you have fun for him, over and over, on repeat. this was the best solution.

he gets the camera and puts your body back in frame. he thinks he’s turned into Stanley Kubrick as he moves it around to get different lighting and angles of your pussy. once he’s found the most lewd, up-close shot possible, he keeps the lens focused.

“so go ‘head baby. since we’re playing show and tell, go on showing and telling the camera everything you begged daddy to do to you.” he instructed, keeping his eyes glued on you through the square little screen.

you’re grinning ear to ear, still flushed under the spotlight of attention he’s putting on you.

“I…I begged daddy to cum inside me.”

“that’s right, sweet girl. what else? did it feel good, feeling daddy fuck you hard like that?”

he’s stroking himself in a tight fist now, your leftover juices still lubricating his shaft. now the camera’s framed on the two of you, eagerly pleading and teasing with him. you’re harsh when you slip two of your fingers inside, watching him with an open mouth.

“yeah, mmhm. I see that look in your eyes. needin’ my cock again. this,” he holds the tip right up to your lips, making sure the camera sees. “is yours baby. could fuck and suck it all you want. whenever you need.”

he moves the camera higher to capture a nice bird’s eye view as you suckle down on a mouthful of his tip, running your fingers through the milky evidence still pooling between your legs.

a warning pops up on the screen, something about a low battery. joel curses under his breath then picks up speed with his hips, reaching down with the other hand to find your clit. he holds his breath while looking at the sight, delighted by the visual. he starts to feel the build up as he remembers that he gets to re-watch this over, and over, and over again.

“gonna have to go a little faster baby, yeah. just like that, that’s perfect.”

masterlist + buy me a ko-fi

#joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller/reader #joel miller tlou #joel miller fanfic #tlou fanfic #the last of us #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller #the last of us smut #tw daddy kink #joel miller hbo #pedro pascal

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igncrxntripley · 3 months

Text

their secret weapon pt. 13

synopsis: the group comes face to face with the mastermind behind this evil plan, and y/n works with a friend to devise a plan.

a/n: crawling on my hands and knees to get this done BUT IT HAPPENED.

mentions: poly!judgment day, overall SFW, some cussing, some fighting, fem!reader, mentions of sadness, alludes to feelings of depression.

tags: @thesithdiaries @cassiesgreta @roseheartsworld @theworldofotps @babybatlover @ripleyswhore @auburnwrites @obl1vionblackhart @emogoblin-666 @hereliespumpkin @embertargaryen @neptune-lover @bunnysmyname @i-have-issues-lol @ares-athena @thatonepansexual2000 @witcherfromwallachia @infamousvampcx @christinabae

3 weeks until wrestlemania; 3 weeks until this nightmare would hopefully be over for the judgment day, and they could be reunited with their fifth member. none of them would lie and say the time she'd been away had been easy for anybody in the group though, as y/n being ripped away from the loving grasp of her partners was for no other reason than to get into the heads of those who turned their back on edge.

the house was quieter without her. road trips to the next city and hotel rooms were no longer the same. dressing rooms didn't have the same energy without her. and the entire time it killed the group to know y/n was so close, yet so far away.

and what tormented all of them? kept finn up at night, made damian clench his fists and rhea squirm at the thought? that they had yet to confront edge and tell him exactly how they felt. the man who helped build up y/n as a superstar, was also the man who ripped her away from her lovers; one way or another, the judgment day was going to make sure he got a piece of their mind. it didn’t matter how it happened.

the judgment day was going to make edge’s life hell until wrestlemania.

finn found himself sitting in the group’s bedroom, looking through boxes of y/n’s memorabilia and random things in boxes. most of this stuff was things she just hadn’t gotten around to unboxing when they moved her into their home, but as finn took a closer look, he began to realize why she’d waited.

photo albums. all of which contained pictures of y/n with her chosen family. her first christmas with the copelands, where beth bought all of them matching pajamas and made their family take a picture in front of the christmas tree. the beginning of her career, where beth stood in a practice ring with y/n and coached her through different finishers and submission moves. those long nights backstage at different shows, where a young y/n was absolutely exhausted and adam would keep her comfortable against his side so she could get some rest.

old trophies and titles, random pieces of ring gear, old things from edge and beth’s careers that they’d given y/n…she wasn’t just forgetting to put these things up or take them out of boxes. y/n was scared to do so. she didn’t want to literally open up a box full of hurt and fear after all the pain they’d caused. she was literally and figuratively repressing those emotions.

as finn sorted through the box and tried his hardest not to let his emotions get the best of him, rhea walked into the bedroom and took inventory of the different things in front of her partner. she took a seat next to him, gently rubbing his back and feeling that tension rising inside of him. “she’ll be coming back to us soon, love.” the aussie spoke softly. “only a few more weeks. she’s in good hands.”

“johnny and candance may be good hands but they aren’t her home.” he mumbled. “the fact that they’re treating her like a child and doing this to her is ridiculous anyway.” finn spat, putting the photo album back into the box. “y/n’s an adult. and the one person she sees as her father, one of the most important people in her life, won’t let her come home? our bosses are backing him up? rhea, it’s…” he couldn’t even finish his thought. he shook his head and tried to calm down his boiling anger.

rhea nodded and held finn’s hand. “there’s not much we can do right now.” she said quietly. “we’re all upset. but she’ll be home soon.” she gently turned finn’s head towards her own, holding the irishman’s cheek. “you’re the one who’s going to show him why no one messes with us.”

*****

that moment rhea was speaking of? it came a lot faster than anyone in the judgment day could have emotionally prepared for. it was like the movies, where finn and edge turned the corner at the exact same time and stood face to face for the first time since their newest member was ripped away from the judgment day. finn swore he could feel the anger radiating through his body at the sight of edge; claws were itching at his spine, his stomach felt like it was on fire, and his fists were clenched tight by his side. he took your princess away from you, my prince. it's time to take back what's rightfully yours.

the corner of edge's lip curled into a snarl. in front of him was the man who seemingly corrupted his mentee, the one who took her away from him and beth as another way to get under the skin of the founder of the judgment day. in his mind, he never took y/n away from her newfound family. he was only trying to give her a break from them! he wanted her to take some time to think about her recent choices and possibly remember what exactly the foursome had done to not only her, but himself and beth over the last few months. edge didn't see anything wrong with what he did. the hall of famer was only doing right by the young woman he saw as a daughter.

finn tried taking a deep breath, but his mouth was moving before he could even think about what he was saying. "i'd walk away the other way before i do something i regret."

edge couldn't help but chuckle at finn's statement. the prince was already trying to act so tough? so intimidating? it didn't phase edge one bit. "wow, not even a hello? no how are you?" he playfully looked finn up and down, noting the second bandana in finn's pocket that most likely belonged to y/n. "why so hostile, finn?"

"you know why, don't play dumb with me." finn poked his finger into the rated r superstar's chest. "you know what you did to me, to y/n, to all of us! and you thought the best thing to do was take her away from us when you've ignored her for the last, what, six months? that's not very fatherly of you, adam. more cowardly than anything."

again, edge chuckled. his eyes were growing dark, and he dared himself to step even closer to finn. "i don't need you telling me what's very fatherly. as far as i'm concerned, she's better off without the four of you." he challenged, almost getting joy out of how angry finn was getting at him. "you let her get kicked into a table? she took a spear for you? you doubted her spot in the judgment day? y/n doesn't realize it yet, but the four of you have caused so much more harm than good." edge flashed that cocky smile at finn. "we can continue this conversation in the ring tonight. i'll see you soon."

watching edge walk away, practically reeking of revenge and pure anger, caused all of those feelings within finn to intensify. if he could have unleashed all of that anger backstage, he would have; but finn also knew one wrong move meant having to wait even longer to have y/n in the arms of her four partners again. he wasn't going to risk that, no matter how badly he wanted to wreak havoc.

finn could be patient. he'd wait the three weeks until wrestlemania to give edge a piece of his mind and see their princess again. those three weeks would be hell, but finn was also planning on throwing edge into the deepest pit of pain and agony once he got his hands on him.

only a little while longer, my prince.

*****

each day without her loves, without her family, was causing y/n to fall further into this spiral of sadness. nothing was the same anymore without dominik's laugh, rhea's hugs, damian's bodyguard-esque presence, or finn's kisses. the longer she went without her little family, the more y/n was spiraling into feelings she hadn't felt in a long time, if ever.

sure, she had JD. that was the closest thing y/n had to finn while being away from the judgment day. but it wasn't her finn. being at NXT without any of them by her side wasn't the same. y/n didn't even see the purpose anymore in coming to the PC to work. it was so much easier to hide in johnny and candace's guest room, the lights off and hidden under the covers with rhea's sweatshirt clutched in her hands. no matter how many times she wore damian's t-shirt or looked at goofy pictures with dom, nothing eased the aches in her body.

y/n had practically stopped answering her phone at that point. every text, every phone call, it was ignored and went without response day after day. it didn't matter who it was from, there was radio silence on her end. sometimes the gentle knocks from either candace or johnny on her temporary room even went unanswered. and while people were concerned, it felt like no one was going to do anything to fix it.

no one...except for one particular irishman.

when JD hadn't seen y/n at the PC, she stopped showing up to NXT, his texts and calls went unanswered, he knew he needed to check up on her. finn was trusting him to take care of y/n while she was away, and that meant doing whatever he needed to do for y/n to be even the slightest bit okay. what he didn't realize, even while walking up to the front door of johnny and candace's home, that she already was slipping even further into this deep hole. if JD would have waited any longer, there's no telling how much deeper princess would've fallen.

the hurried, repeated knocks at the front door pulled y/n from her cave of blankets and her partner's hoodies. there wasn't much that could do that as of recent, but she managed this time. she took her time going to the door and opening it, but the sight of JD brought tears to her eyes for a multitude of reasons. guilt, sadness, hurt, anxiety, even a little bit of hope. "you shouldn't be here-"

"y/n..." JD said softly, not even letting her finish her thoughts. his voice alone broke her even more, and before y/n could think twice JD had his arms around his friend in the tightest hug he could manage. he wasn't sure when the last time she got one of those hugs was, so he made note to do it now. to remind y/n she wasn't alone.

y/n wrapped her arms around JD and gripped onto him like her life depended on it. at this point, it basically did; this was the first time in weeks she had someone who wasn't her dad, hunter, or shawn around her. someone who was on her side and actually seemed as though they wanted the best for her. y/n's hands gripped onto JD as tight as she could and she finally let the tears loose down her cheeks. "i-i'm so sorry."

"don't be. you have no reason to be sorry." JD said softly, gently ushering y/n inside with his arms still around her. "come on, y/n. talk to me."

even though y/n wanted everything she was feeling to just pour out, she couldn't. the words were caught in her throat and everything she'd held in for the last month couldn't find its voice. the only thing she could manage were pathetic whines and whimpers, until finally some of those words were choked out. "i just want to go home."

JD's heart broke. he'd never understand why anyone thought taking her away from her family was the right answer. no one was paying attention and noticed that this wasn't helping the frustrations between the judgment day and edge, because they were too focused on themselves. everyone ignored the consequences of their actions.

maybe JD shouldn't have spoken up, but he could only find one answer to the sad statement that left y/n's lips. "who's stopping you?"

y/n's cries slowed down into sniffles and she slowly pulled back to look at JD. "they said i couldn't." the answer felt so simply, yet the solution was even easier. and it never once crossed her mind out of fear of the consequences.

"did they take your key? are they bothering to watch your every move?" JD asked softly, wiping the tears from y/n's cheeks. "you live there too, y/n. no one can stop you from going home. not to the place where you pay the bills with everyone else. the place you call home." JD gently rubbed her arms, managing to give her a smile. "go home, y/n."

again, the answer seemed so easy. the solution was self explanatory. but y/n didn't about it once, until JD mentioned it out of fear for how edge or her superiors would react. needless to say though, JD's words were enough for her to pack her bag and rush out to her parked car in the driveway - the jeep that hadn't moved in days since she stopped going to training sessions. even in the rare cold, florida rain, y/n was rushing home to her people with those same tears rushing down her cheeks.

while the drive wasn't long, it felt like an eternity until y/n was in the driveway of the home she shared with the four people she recognized as her family. she knew their travel schedules and saw everyone was home from their own vehicles being in the driveway and the dimly lit lights through the window, but even after parking and standing in the rain ready to start taking her life back, her legs didn't move.

y/n was terrified, worried someone would catch her and she'd have to face the consequences of going home before she was given permission. even though she didn't need permission, she stood in the rain for a solid five minutes debating if she should've even made the move. but eventually she did it; her tears mixed with the raindrops, and y/n made her way to the front porch before pulling out her phone. her shaky hands sent a quick text to rhea, the aussie being the first of her four partners to pop up in her messages, and waited for someone to hopefully give her the piece of mind she wanted so badly.

"let me in? please?"

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darkcircles4lyfe · 4 months

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Behind the locked door

In honor of Izuku’s mask disintegrating into rubble, I think it’s finally time for me to really dig deep into his character. I’ve been keeping this one in my back pocket for a while. Amid all the talk about Izuku’s fading narration, the “control your heart” subplot, I’ve been trying to find the words to articulate how I know exactly where this is going, at least on a certain level. Most recently, I read this meta from pika who brings up how the word “control” alone can be misconstrued (by us). And then I thought about how a while back I made a similar point, although I said Izuku was the one who got it wrong. At that time, I was holding back a huge piece of evidence because it was external to the story and I wasn’t sure it would be received well. As a result, my argument fell a little flat. Well, now—after 411, right before leaks for 412—it might be my last chance to play this card.

So about that external evidence. I struggle to bring it up because it’s gonna sound an awful lot like I’m projecting onto Izuku if I don’t do it justice. But… I look at the way his storyline has been going lately and I see a pattern emerging that I’m very familiar with. Fortunately, I don’t have to dump a bunch of personal junk on you in order to illustrate this pattern, because a certain personality typing system already has it all figured out: the Enneagram.

Now, hang on. I’m not one to put people in boxes. My trans ass? I managed to get a different result every time I retook the P0ttermore quiz. MBTI, zodiacs—not my thing. But the Enneagram comes the closest I’ve ever seen to covering all the bases and revealing actually meaningful insight, at least for myself. On top of that, I find it extremely useful for fleshing out fictional characters, hence this post will be taking advantage of that.

For those who aren’t familiar with it, here’s a quick overview: The Enneagram consists of 9 individual personality types, each arranged carefully in a sequential, circular manner. They are also simply named 1 through 9. While this might seem kinda basic, there is actually a surprising amount of nuance and fluidity involved. Typing is done largely through personal introspection (you don’t really have to take a test). Adjacent numbers share some core themes with each other, and according to a web of arrows between them, one type can take on either positive or negative traits associated with other types depending on how emotionally ‘healthy’ they are, causing a lengthy spectrum of different ways each type can manifest. That part gets kinda complicated to explain here, so for more info, the Enneagram Institute website is a decent place to start. I also highly recommend the Enneagram album by Sleeping At Last (and if you really want to dedicate some time, the accompanying podcast) to really get inside the heads of the types on a deeper level.

My interest in applying the Enneagram to Izuku comes from observing how differently one can interpret his character based on whether you read him as a 2 or a 9. And even though no one uses this language to talk about him, the distinction accounts for a bunch of different rifts in the fandom: whether you appreciate bkdk’s relationship, whether you can acknowledge Izuku’s flaws and weaknesses, the severity of his vigilante/rogue phase, and most importantly the gravity of his concealed heart, his rage, and what it all means—what he needs in order to grow and triumph.

Discussion of Enneagram types in the fandom is pretty scarce, but where it exists, I have only seen him labeled as a 2. Type 9 and type 2 can be similar at a glance in a lot of ways (actually, 9s can be mistaken for any type because they are like all of them combined). It’s easy to see Izuku as a 2 because he is the helping hero archetype. He puts others’ needs above his own and he is always ready and eager to help. If you listen to Sleeping At Last’s song for 2, you’ll notice that it’s all about care and noble sacrifice with the underlying theme of neglecting or even harming oneself: “I just want to build you up, until your good as new, and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too.” Sounds pretty obvious, right? Well, here’s the thing. You really get to know what your type is by how it hits you where it hurts, so I like to focus on each type’s basic fear and basic desire, first and foremost, as a tell. A 2′s basic fear is of being worthless and unloved. Consequently, their most basic desire is to be loved. And 2s have been taught through their negative experiences that love is conditional, something they have to earn from others. They need to be needed. So let’s say you think Izuku is a 2. This means you consider his heroic, self-sacrificing tendencies to be a result of his growing up quirkless and being told he is worthless and powerless because of it. Through this lens, he is trying to prove himself to the world by being useful. Along these lines, you may also assume he is trying to prove himself to Katsuki. Taking this train of thought even further, you may interpret Izuku’s relationship with Katsuki as an obsession of his, where he is either blind to Katsuki’s more negative traits in favor of gaining his love and praise, or else bitterly determined to prove him wrong. This is how a 2 might behave in an unhealthy relationship with an 8, which, yes, I do think Katsuki is an 8. That’s a tangent for another time, though.

But does Izuku ever “need to be needed?” It’s worth noting that while 2s’ search for validation might seem insincere, it is actually motivated by a deep, heartbreaking insecurity. They think they don’t even deserve love unless they are useful to someone, so they do everything they can to be worthy. Does Izuku show signs of this motivation?

If I stop to think about it, I can’t exactly see this in Izuku’s character. Yeah, his dream is to be a hero, and in his childhood, he was denied that dream. However I think we need to take a step back from that for a second if we want to dig deep. I mean, a lot of the other characters also behave heroically, act selflessly, and strive to help. Does that mean all of them are 2s as well? Of course not. So let’s instead turn to observe how Izuku acts with his loved ones, friends, and peers in other/adjacent contexts:

Inko: He is committed to protecting his mother from fearing for his safety. He wants to be good enough to not cause her to worry, rather than good enough to make her proud or make her love him. Idk about his father but at this point I think it’s safe to assume he is deeply unimportant.

All Might: I would describe their relationship as one of mutual responsibility. Izuku feels a responsibility to uphold All Might’s legacy, All Might feels a responsibility to teach him well. Because of this mutuality, I don’t think it quite makes sense to say Izuku deliberately seeks approval for its own sake. You know what I mean? They may be a mentor and a pupil but in practice they are almost more like co-conspirators. They don’t really have a power dynamic going on.

Shouto, Tenya, other friends: Izuku seems to take an interest in what makes his friends tick, and he sets himself aside in order to both analytically and intuitively determine what’s wrong and how to solve it. Examples include his fight against Shouto in the sports festival, and his stubborn concern for Tenya’s reaction to his brother’s forced retirement. He will put himself in the line of fire specifically when confronted with another person’s inner demons. This is not a labor that is asked of professional heroes, it’s just who Izuku is. You can also extend this observation to how he sees through Tomura to Tenko, but I’ll get to that later. Basically, while 2s seek to help in all kinds of ways, a 9’s strategy is always centered on the realm of the mind.

Kota: Adjacent to the paragraph above, before Izuku literally gets into a position where he needs to save Kota, he becomes interested in the boy’s point of view out of genuine curiosity. He doesn’t go “oh no, this kid doesn’t like heroes, I better get him to like heroes.” Instead he seeks out information as to why he thinks that way, and patiently listens. He’s sorry about what happened to Kota, and he understands. Twice (ch 71 and 72), he recognizes the fact that everyone has their own point of view on quirks, and he can’t really do anything about that.

Mirio: This might be one of the most telling examples. Mirio is the platonic ideal of an All Might successor. He’s “perfect.” He even looks the part. While this initially makes Izuku uncomfortable, he doesn’t become insecure and defensive over it. On the contrary, he easily comes to the conclusion that actually, Mirio should have One for All. Just like that (ch 172). If Mirio hadn’t dismissed the “hypothetical,” he probably would have gone through with giving it to him. That’s not how a 2 would respond. A 2 would double down and aim to be better than Mirio by trying to establish some relationship of need, fueled by the insecurity. Their shared subplot with Eri would have looked pretty different, I think.

Katsuki: I’ve mentioned before that I believe their rivalry only exists because Katsuki put it there. First of all, we can see that after the sludge villain incident, Izuku weirdly takes Katsuki’s dismissal of Izuku’s help as practical advice. Like, “oh yeah, I guess what I did was pretty stupid and dangerous, and I’m not cut out for this hero stuff. Now I can move on and find a realistic career.” Hello?? He accepted that so easily. So Izuku clearly isn’t motivated by a desire to prove himself to Katsuki. Even when he proclaims he’s going to surpass him, it’s like he’s happily mimicking Katsuki, not reacting based on insecurity or pride. Izuku is content to meet Katsuki wherever he is, and he’s satisfied with whatever kind of relationship they are able to have, including a rivalry, so he isn’t vying for his affection either. We can observe this when he gives up the role of reaching out a hand to save Katsuki to Kirishima, and also when he thinks about how “blessed” he is to even have a normal conversation with Katsuki. He doesn’t push things. It’s also stated in Deku vs. Kacchan 2 that Izuku doesn’t excuse or overlook Katsuki’s “bad side” but still admires him for his other traits. This is not at all characteristic of a toxic 2x8 relationship.

When 2s are at their very worst or pushed into unhealthy situations, they tend to become more needy and self-centered, even downright manipulative. But at Izuku’s worst, when he went rogue, he pushed everyone away to avoid being a burden. When the refugees at UA tried to prevent him from returning, he was like, “you’re right” and would have turned back immediately if not for his friends, loved ones, and other people who care about him telling him it was all okay. Meanwhile, Katsuki, in true 8 fashion, was pissed off at being rejected and having to deal with Izuku’s stubborn and evasive side (oh yeah, have I mentioned 9s are actually stubborn as hell?), but he made sure to establish that they are (he is) here to step in when Izuku can’t handle things by himself. Katsuki even opened up and admitted to his own weaknesses to show why mutual support is so important. Tbh, a lot of the above can be construed as just super healthy type 2 behavior, but not this. The way Izuku acts at his lowest, and his dynamic with Katsuki? Totally different. Dead giveaway for a 9.

Let’s get into the type 9 itself in more detail to show how it applies to Izuku more deeply—seriously, it’s beat for beat. One of the key differences is, while 2s seek validation, 9s are actually resigned to the belief that they aren’t important. Similar to 2s, a 9′s basic fear is of separation, but their basic desire is actually just peace or harmony rather than love. Notice how these motivations are just like a 2’s, except they have the “self” part taken out. With that in mind, they “achieve” their basic desire through selflessness in and of itself, without the need for recognition. That’s not to say that 9s are better than 2s. In fact, a 9 can be worse, in a way. If unhealthy, they will seek peace at almost any cost to themselves. In other words, they can be more self-destructive while still under the impression that they are doing just fine. “Peace” may refer to the expression of empathy, fulfilling the needs of others, sheltering someone, or mediating a fight—but also to repressing their own opinions and needs, not “rocking the boat,” ignoring negative emotions, or becoming a vessel for someone else to vent to.

What about inner peace? 9s value serenity, and thus they have a complicated relationship with the most tumultuous of emotions: anger. On the surface, 9s look like the type that is extremely slow to anger and highly tolerant. However, as much as they would like to believe this about themselves too, deep down, 9s are afraid of what might happen if they lose control. My phrase for it is this: I feel like a bottled tornado. Personally, I also think of anger as a basic desire to make others feel your pain—not necessarily sadistically, but in an effort to be known, to be understood. The difficult thing to grasp, especially for a 9, is that this is NOT inherently a bad thing. It isn’t wrong to seek sympathy. On the contrary, it is harmful to tell yourself that getting angry is wrong, because it’s like telling yourself that your pain is wrong, your pain doesn’t matter.

The problem is it doesn’t stop there. A 9, in shutting down their anger, ends up with such a low opinion of their own heart, their other emotions dull along with it. They cry less, laugh less, love less. It’s often said that they “fall asleep” to themselves. It all starts with anger. It’s interesting to note how different this whole mindset is from toxic masculinity—where men only feel allowed/able to express emotions through anger. This is sorta like the opposite. Anger becomes the dam rather than the river. For Izuku, I want us to consider that his suppression of anger carries with it the implication that he is hiding other things, too. It’s a given. There’s a whole sea of feelings out there, and we can only see the waves hitting the shore. This brings me to the whole “control your heart” thing. I do think it is worth mentioning that Banjou didn’t just tell Izuku to exercise control. He also told him that his anger could be useful if it is harnessed. With this added context, “control” here means “to master.” And Izuku seemed to grasp this concept… sorta. I think that if Izuku is like a 9, we can assume he has trouble understanding how anger could be a worthy source of strength. His emotions in relation to Katsuki feel more like a weakness to him, a character flaw in a hero, who is supposed to be detached and selfless. But he’s trying to understand, even though he’s afraid of it. He essentially applied the same strategy he used for mastering OFA itself: incremental strength training. Which, okay. Take a moment to absorb how odd that is, in relation to emotions, specifically. Does one learn to cry incrementally? Does one learn to use anger by bottling a fucking tornado?? Like, what, you think you’re gonna be able to let out juuust the right amount of air to avoid an explosion??? No, man… if you want to be the master of your emotions you have to be willing to sit with them. Confront them. Listen to them. Take them in completely and accept them as a part of yourself.

For someone like Izuku, though, it is very difficult to imagine how this is even possible. Tomura, as with every villain, can be used to reflect his hero counterpart’s greatest fear about himself. Tomura literally touches everyone and everything with his rage, and as a physical manifestation of that desire to pass his own pain onto others, destruction radiates from his fingertips. Thus, losing control in this manner must be Izuku’s worst nightmare, as if he would be completely unable to stop the collateral damage like an infinite line of dominoes. But his anger is not something he can overcome, as such.

An overarching theme in this heroes vs. villains conflict is that the villains are not merely obstacles to be overcome. Just think back to Himiko’s bitter rejection of the heroic sense of superiority. She demanded not to be pitied, condescended to, or lied to. Likewise, the answer cannot be that Izuku needs to restrain himself where Tomura doesn’t. What purpose would it serve to show that Izuku is better than him? Certainly not saving Tomura. If this was a battle against AFO, it might have been a different story. In that case, Izuku would have to overcome his emotional manipulation tactics. Tomura, on the other hand, is not so strategic. With his strangely childlike tendencies, he must relish making Izuku mad because it brings them closer to the same wavelength. It’s his own twisted way or seeking sympathy, or at least, the closest thing to sympathy he can get anymore, because he believes he is beyond saving. With that in mind, Izuku isn’t going to get anywhere unless he rises to meet him. Izuku has to match Tomura’s hatred with equally strong emotions of his own, whatever they may be, or else face the loss of OFA (as established in 305). This is not an easy thing to ask of a 9, once they have started to pull the blood from their extremities, become cold and numb. Bringing back circulation is painful and makes the skin crawl.

In case you’re worried about the focus on anger here, I want to reiterate that concealed anger in a 9 is just one sign of so much more. Back when everyone started fretting about Izuku’s habit of self-sacrifice, which would have been the only thing we need to worry about if he were a 2, I was freaking out because Izuku was also starting to look like a person who has too many secrets. You don’t even have to acknowledge the possibility that he lied about what triggered blackwhip. It’s written all over his face all the time these days. It’s especially noticeable when you contrast him with Katsuki after all his own growth. Katsuki confides in people. He acknowledges his weaknesses. He enjoys being himself. He asserts his place. He thinks about Izuku all the damn time and now he even lets himself be soft about it. All this warmth while Izuku is distant, muted, and blank. I know all too well what this state of mind is like. Man, I hate secrets. You get to the point where you don’t know how to talk about even the simplest most inconsequential shit. And the bigger things? They’re like a growing snowball of words in your throat that cannot possibly fit out of your mouth. The “easiest” way to cope is to simply fade into the rhythm of life. Go with the flow.

Since 9s have a natural curiosity about the interiority of other people, they may choose to focus on that in order to divert their own attention away from themselves. Taken to the extreme, they will lose track of their sense of self. Like I said, you can see Izuku doing this as he fights, analyzing the psyche of his opponent, and his match against Shouto in the sports festival was a fantastic early example. They became friends because of how observant Izuku is. His emotional intelligence and intuition are very strong, but gradually, as he has taken on greater responsibilities and experienced more trauma, he has gotten worse at applying these skills to himself. You know, we go on and on about how his narration has been reduced to nearly nothing, and it’s not just an absence of introspection, it’s an absence of self. It creates a lack of ownership over the narrative—what should be his narrative.

Right now, he’s focusing on trying to see Tomura as a person, figuring him out. I think it would be really satisfyingly ironic if in the process, he ends up uncovering insights about himself instead. It’s about time we learn what Izuku’s secrets are. I don’t actually think that Izuku mastering anger will constitute the emotion that is strong enough to keep Tomura from taking OFA. Moreover, he can’t expect to reach Tomura’s core, Tenko, unless he exposes his own. Rather, anger is the conduit for Izuku to unlock something else. Think of the way he described how Katsuki is his image of victory. The feeling manifests when he asserts a stronger sense of self (the urge to win) and he becomes more free with his words. I have no doubt that Tomura has the power to make unfiltered honesty spill out of him. He knows how to bring out his selfish needs, his pain, his pressure points, his fears, his insecurities. Hell, maybe Mt. Fuji erupting is a metaphor. I want to see Izuku explode while Tomura watches with mad glee. But then I want Izuku to Realize Things such that it finally sets him free. Then, instead of Tomura witnessing yet another person he touches fall apart, he gets to see someone become whole.

"I let the scale tip, feel all of it. It's uncomfortable but right. And we were born to try to see each other through. To know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do." --Sleeping At Last, 'Nine'

#you are very much welcome to send me asks about this and the enneagram etc because it's very fun to talk about!#bnha meta #bnha manga #bnha 411 #bnha 412 #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #character analysis #midoriya izuku #shigaraki tomura #bakudeku #bkdk #dekubaku #dkbk #lin speaks

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badnoahmens · 10 months

Text

4am

Noah Sebastian x reader

A/N Do yourself a favour and watch this quick scene from the TV show ‘Dave’, it was the kind of thing I was going for, but just at a different time and place, and just less sad. Thanks!

4:07 am. The dim glow of the alarm clock illuminated the room just enough to make out silhouettes of the furniture. There was the low hum of the wind outside that was the soundtrack for this winter night. There was a chill in the air that made the thought of leaving the comfort of your bed seem almost impossible, but as you rolled to see the vacant spot next to you, you couldn’t help but wonder where Noah was.

Tentatively, you slip one foot, then another, from the cave of warmth you have created, and tip-toe lightly to the door that was slightly ajar. From around the corner you could see light, growing stronger the closer you walked down the hallway. As you turn the corner, you could hear a tune, being played repeatedly, over and over again. It would start, sometimes play for 10 or so seconds, before starting again. Each time it played there were slight changes to the pitch of a note, altered to best suit the melody being played.

A sigh escapes you as you know exactly what has happened. Once again, Noah, your boyfriend of 6 years, has allowed himself to be all-consumed by his music yet again, staying up until ungodly hours trying to perfect his craft. You step around the corner, seeing the profile of Noah, who looked like he was in a trance-state with eyes fixated on the screen, headphones adorned over his beanie with his hair poking out at the bottom. He was still dressed in the same clothes as the day before, a long-sleeve white t-shirt and a pair of black jogger pants, although now it looked like they were wearing him instead. He was slouched over, hands moving ever so slightly with the flick of the mouse or a stroke of the keyboard. Bags hung under his eyes, and his eyelids looked heavy. You could almost see the reflection of the screen and the colourful bars from Logic Pro X in his eyes, like he was hypnotised by it.

His hand raised and adjusted the headphones that were blocking out any sound other than his current project, long fingers grazing some of the buttons on the side and shifting them so they fit more comfortably. Without looking to his side, he reached over towards the door, closer towards you, as he hovered his hand in the air in search of what you assume was his guitar. You could see it, it’s long neck laying against the couch behind him. He still absentmindedly waved his hand trying to locate the guitar, but it also looked like he forgot what he was doing. His arm dropped with a slight thud to land on the desk next to him. When his arm retreated, he hung his head and rested it in one hand, the other slipping off the headphones and then joining to support his hidden face, now behind his palms, with elbows leaning on the desk and nudging the keyboard away from him.

You heard him huff, and decided you needed to step in, otherwise he would keep going until he dropped dead. With a very gentle step forward, you place a hand gently on his shoulder. He tilts his head up and you finally get to see his full face, and it was worse than you had thought. The poor man looked like the lights were out inside, but somehow he was just sleep-walking his way through this editing process. He hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in weeks, and this album was always on his mind. It made you wonder how it wasn’t making him go crazy, but then again, with what you saw in front of you, maybe he wasn’t far off. When he looked into your eyes he almost looked guilty, like he felt bad for what he was doing. You give him a small smile and walk closer, this time both hands snake their way around his chest as you stand behind him. You rest your chin on his shoulder and lean into him, and he does the same back to you. It was so comforting the way that he responded to your touch. Your hands interlocked over his shirt, and one of his hands came up to intertwine with yours. Still no words had been spoken, but you knew that he needed you there for just a moment.

“How is it sounding?” you ask, and he strains his neck to the side to look at you with a puzzled look on his face. You guess he was expecting you to be upset, or even mad at him, but how could you ever.

“Uh, I think this track is nearly done. I switched up some of the melody so now it has a panpipe, and have a listen to this harp track I put in…” his fingers flicked over the mouse again, and the colourful bars zipped past on the screen right back to the start of the song. He tapped the space bar, and leant back in his chair. As the tune began to play, you slipped around and sat atop his lap, swinging legs over the side of his chair and curling up onto his chest.

One of his hands held your back, and the other rested on top of your knees, tapping along with an imaginary click-track that you are sure was playing non-stop in his own mind.

It was a new song, one you hadn’t heard yet. You thought you had heard them all by this point, but this one took you by surprise. It was slower, more drawn out, and it took its time to build up and work through the first verse.

“I haven’t heard this one before” you whisper, as though not to interrupt the song playing.

“I only made it today,” Noah responded, a little sheepishly. “I’m sorry”.

“Did you really just apologise? For doing something you love? And maybe staying up a little late because you want it to be perfect?” you look at him with an eyebrow raised, hands knotted behind his neck.

“I’ve got an idea” he says, reaching over and grasping a second pair of headphones. He delicately places them on your head, tucking your hair back so that the headphones sit snugly. He picks up his own headphones again while skipping back to the beginning of the song. It starts delicately and quietly, and before the melody begins Noah starts speaking into his microphone.

“What if we add a little adlib to the start?” he spoke, and you saw the little bars indicating it was recording on the screen jump up and down.

You lean forward and reply, “what kind of thing are you thinking of?” It was a little startling hearing your own voice reverberated through the microphones, and you could pick up just the most subtle hint of a pitch corrector to make your voice sound more fluid.

“I don’t even know,” he said through a smile. His eyes were drooping, half closed and you could tell he had an idea but his brain wouldn’t let him process it.

“What if we just talk?” you say, starting to speak in a sing-songy voice. Noah starts the song again, and starts a new recording.

“You know that it’s 4am…. and you are here with me…” he spoke, elongating some words to match the tempo of the beat.

“No place I’d raaaath-er be” you sing, “but what is this soooong about?”

“Why don’t you fiiiind out,” Noah sings back. Somehow even in his state, at this hour, and even with just talking, he manages to hit perfect notes.

“Is it a haaaappy one?” you ask, still trying your best to not sound too forced, but when you were comparing yourself to Noah’s vocals, there wasn’t any chance of sounding good.

“It’s aaaabout us” he responded, “so it’s the best- song- I- have- done.” Drawing out the last part of his sentence, timing it perfectly with when the tune began to change.

You lean back into Noah’s chest, the headphones pushed against his chest distorting his shirt just enough so the tattoos on his chest were a little more exposed. He rested his cheek on the top of your head, almost nudging the band of the headphones with his nose.

As the two of you listen to the rest of the song, and you really started listening to the lyrics, you couldn’t help but smile and feel a warmth inside you grow beyond measure. It was a story being told, your story. The one of how you met, how Noah was so nervous to talk to you he actually avoided it. He had told you about this long after you started dating, and how he kicks himself now because of it. The story continues, describing his perspective of when you started spending more time together. He talks about the thoughts in his head, the doubts he believed, thinking he wasn’t good enough for you. There was even mention of the time where he let those thoughts win and you had to convince him otherwise.

It was a raw and rare insight into his mind, and what a beautiful and scary place it must be. Knowing only little of what he had been through before you met, you knew his trauma from his past still haunted him today, and you did everything in your power to try and keep those ghosts away.

You were caught up in your own thoughts while still listening to the song, in a little bit of disbelief at the sudden vulnerability he was willing to share with the world.

“That’s beautiful” you comment, wiping a tear away that you hadn’t realised had formed.

He lets out a half laugh and glances back at the screen, scrolling along through the tracking of the song. “It’s been a lot of work, but it’s getting there. It took me a long time to try and find the right words. Album number 4 has to be my best work yet” he comments. You know more than anyone that he is his own harshest critic, and the pressure he puts on himself is more than anything else you have witnessed.

“Do you think maybe, now with something new added, stepping away from it for a little while will help? Come back to it with a fresh view?” you ask, being very careful to choose which words don't sound demanding.

“Maybe you’re right” he commented, making a few more final clicks to ensure that his project was saved, before switching off the screen. A new and comforting darkness fell in the room, and you slowly stood up from Noah’s lap. He reaches up, and wraps his decorated hands in yours. You tug a little, and he listens, standing up next to you. You start to walk out of the room, and he blindly follows you, feet falling a little clumsily and you think he is starting to fall asleep standing up. You guide him back to the bedroom, pull the covers off and give him a gentle shove. He falls back and chuckles as he does, head hitting the pillow for the first time in a while. It wouldn’t be rare for him to just not come to bed some nights, sleeping on the couch that was in his studio, and sometimes even at the very desk you found him at.

As you walk around to your side of the bed and climb in, you can just make out the outline of his face. Your finger delicately traces the sides of his cheeks, down and across his chin, back up and along the bridge of his nose, and then your fingers intertwine with his hair, smoothing back some of the locks and pushing his beanie off his head. He was humming, enjoying the touch. It didn’t take long at all, less than 30 seconds, and his facial expressions relaxed, mouth hanging slightly ajar, and breathing pattern falling into a steady rhythm.

He fell asleep so quickly it made you think that if you hadn’t gone to him, he would have been there all night, either awake or with his head on the desk. You loved that he loved his work, that he was so passionate about what he did, but it came as a curse too. No one knew how hard he worked, no one knew how much his own judgements ruled his life. So you did everything in your power to help him, be by his side, there when he needed you, even if he didn’t even know it himself.

#bad omens #bad omens band #noah sebastian #jolly karlsson #nicholas ruffilo #nick folio #bad omens fanfiction #fan fiction #noah sebastian fan fiction #fanfic #noah sebastian fanfic #noah sebastian fic #bad omens cult #bad omens fan fics

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lowkeyrobin · 3 months

Text

MCYT ; songs that they associate with you

includes tommyinnit, tubbo, freddie badlinu, ranboo, quackity

warnings ; horrible music taste. Did a few for each of them lmaooo. also let's act like dmca doesn't exist on twitch or whatever. if schlatt can play Fleetwood Mac on stream then who cares yk

masterlist

BADLINU

Kiss From A Rose ; Seal

You guys watched Batman Forever together and this song came on during credits. Life changing experience.

You had the DVD version with the music video bonus, that was being replayed for like twenty minutes

He has it on almost every playlist he has

He seems like the type of person to make a private, bad quality edit/music video of you two to it

Goosebumps ; Sorana

Dude this song perfectly reflected how he felt before you guys got together 🙏🙏

Plays this on stream when you're streaming with him for background noise.

Before you get together, he still plays it, just makes sure to not let you know that he feels that exact way about you.

Little inside joke between you two, it's kinda your song in a way

Editors love editing you guys to this song omg. They're always cute as hell too

TOMMYINNIT

FaceTime with my Mom (Tonight) ; Bo Burnham

You guys karaoke-d the shit out of this song on stream with Jack and Freddie.

It became a core memory for him. You were only friends at the time but it kinda made him realize that he wanted to be more than just your friend.

He actually FaceTimed his mom afterwards and she said hello to chat and everything

Little funny moment that he loves to think about

Someday (Remastered) ; Sugar Ray

He found this song on your older music playlist

He plays it a lot and thinks about you

Like daydreams that you're on a warm beach with all your friends and stuff

The song has like a warm, summery vibe to it so all summer he makes sure this comes up on your queue when streaming or in the car or whatever.

You guys probably dance around the living room to this song idk

TUBBO

Where The Lines Overlap ; Paramore

"No one is as lucky as us" REAL.

He cherishes you in his own special way yk?

He thinks he's so lucky to have you when you're surprised you could even pull someone, let alone him

Before you guys started dating, he saw an edit of you two to this song and he religiously watched it LMAO

You're both Paramore fans so this worked out perfectly.

Orange Show Speedway ; Lizzy McAlpine

the guitar sounds exactly how you feel to him if that makes sense

the happy nostalgia/dopamine rush kind of feel makes him all smiley and makes him think of you

he literally fell in love at a car speedway show that you two went to together for a little "first date" vlog so 🙏🙏🙏

it's just perfect idk man

RANBOO

Already Over ; Mike Shinoda

this song reminds me a lot of genloss so yk I had to include it here

but yeah, genloss vibes

reminds them a lot of yours and his genloss characters and their relationships and whatnot

when on set for s2 they listen to this on repeat bc your dynamic is so cool

although the viewers r desperately trying to kill you bc you're kind of at fault for genloss! rans trauma/predicament

they'll figure out that's not totally true tho

White Noise ; James Marriott

"I'd quite like to go home now" mother fucker you are his home :(

you're the "What's the point of having a friend when you're on your own in the end" outlook and they're the "I'll make an attempt knowing that I'll fuck it up" in a /pos outlook

you two go perfectly together

like two puzzle pieces, straight the fuck up

the cutest of dynamics

QUACKITY

Le Jardin ; La Femme

you guys watched Fresh together (10/10 btw)

this song came on halfway through and you soundsearched it and quickly dove into the la femme rabbit hole

he thought it was adorable cause you kind of understood the music but he understood completely

honestly got you into learning Spanish more

he literally only sees you listening to la femme to the point where he's a little concerned

you're just addicted to the paradigmes album you're fine

but he does play this on stream a lot just for you

editors go crazy after figuring out its always being played for you omg

Don't Want It ; Lil Nas X

holy shit this song goes hard

anyways yall always play this to get hyped up

he found an edit of you guys to this song and he thinks about it 24/7

literally the "people in my life should know I am not the old me" and the "wanted happiness, wanted forgiveness" duo

I can't explain it it's just vibes

#lowkeyrobin #badlinu x reader #ranboo x reader #quackity x reader #tommyinnit x reader #tubbo x reader #mcyt oneshot #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader

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kasdeyalilith · 2 years

Text

Midnight Rain

Warning/s: Angst

Character/s: Scaramouche x Reader

Synopsis: Reader finally breaks away from Scaramouche as he chooses Haypasia over you to help him in ascending to godhood.

Note: I wrote this before 3.2 so there are errors in regards to the lore with how scara will be defeated and when I saw the trailer midnight rain plays in my mind as Scara looks over at haypasia. Also I'm influenced with Auntie Taylor's new album so here's a brainrot.

You replay your lover's words over and over in your head, and your face in clear disbelief. When he started talking again, you still didn't comprehend what was going on.

He favored an Akademya researcher, a lesser scholar, over you. Haypasia was it?

Anger hardly scratches the surface of how you really feel; the only person you trusted has betrayed you. You've sacrificed so much for him, and now he's going to waste everything in order to reach his goal? Were your attempts fruitless? You have basically given your life to him, killed so many, and committed countless other horrible things, all of which you cannot even begin to untangle lest you lose your mind from guilt.

Scaramouche ignores your cries of anguish as he moves around to check on the sleeping researcher, his eyes examining the green-haired maid; his plan is in motion, and no one—not even his lover—will ruin it.

He's almost at the pinnacle of success, about to surpass even his pathetic mother. Exactly how does an archon handle two gnosis at once? He relishes at the thought, chasing the feeling of being in power this time.

He looked at you, his face emotionless, as if you were staring at a statue. A chill ran down your spine as you realized that the person you've grown to love has vanished and been replaced by the monstrosity he's conjuring.

You're naive to think that after all these years he'll finally agree to give up his ambitions and give in to yours so that you can live the comfortable life you've always imagined.

You wanted that comfortable, he wanted that pain.

You wanted a lover, he's making his own fate

Chasing that fame

You stayed the same, while all of him changed like Midnight Rain.

Accepting defeat, you packed up everything you owned at the Akademya.

You glanced back at the door and hesitated; leaving him, leaving everything you've known, hurts, but you know that he won't give up his dreams for you the way you gave up yours, so you kissed his sleeping form and disappeared into the night.

Scaramouche didn't inquire why you weren't at your side of the bed when he discovered you weren't there; he isn't going to let weak human feelings stand in the way of claiming his fate.

He ignores the void that is slowly forming inside of him because he knows you'll be right back by his side no matter what. He'll let you throw your tantrums and wait for you to return, astounded at his new form.

The traveler stopped his ascent, beating him when he was at his weakest. As the traveler utilizes the akasha to distract the Balladeer, painful memories of past betrayals flood his mind.

After freeing Scaramouche from the pipes holding him in place, the metal creature sighs and totters to the floor, its knees weakening under its weight.

Scaramouche looks up, tears streaming out of his eyes, but he doesn't appear to care.

Like a rainstorm that gradually dries up, he has let the hurt of losing you seep into every crevice of the cracks blossoming in him.

The balladeer's eyes scan the crowd gathering around him hopefully for your presence, but you're nowhere to be found.

He's taken the privilege of being yours for granted, discarding you like his mother did. He cries on the floor, surrendering to the pain of living in a life without you to tether him.

#scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche angst #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche+x+reader #scaramouche x you

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hannieehaee · 5 months

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NO SONG WITHOUT YOU (teaser)

18+ / mdi

content: idol!jihoon x idol!reader, afab reader, pining, jihoon's emotionally constipated, jihoon's pov, some angst, misunderstandings, kinda inexperienced jihoon, smut, dry humping, oral (m receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 782 in this teaser; 10k+ in the final ver

release date: 12/7/23

update: FULL FIC HERE

a/n: so happy to have finally written a long fic for jihoon!! he's one of my biases so i had a lot of fun writing him :D hope u guys enjoy the final product <3

masterlist

Jihoon was tired.

The truth was, Jihoon felt lost. Any time he strayed away from work in some way or other, he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like a failure in many other aspects of his life. Granted, he was a successful idol and producer, talented in every area necessary in his field, but past that, what did he really have to offer? He'd been stuck in a rut for a few years now. He had his members, his family, maybe some staff, but his social life didn't go much past that. He didn't have many hobbies outside of work either. Sure, he was avid when exercising, even being an overachiever in that area, but that was also kind of part of his job. He knew he needed to step out of his comfort zone at some point and live his life, but he kept making excuses for himself. He was 26 now, and was, quite frankly, beginning to lose hope in certain areas of his life due to his career - although blaming his career was just an excuse, really - the romantic aspect of his life being one of them.

So, Jihoon was tired. Tired of hauling himself up in his studio to make himself feel something. But that was where he now found himself; stuck and in a rut, hoping for something more.

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ramblingoak · 7 months

Note

Idk of you do x reader requests but if you get the chance maybe do a copia helping reader calm down from a overwhelming/over stimulated/anxiety attack, type of breakdown? Thanks. :)

Hello my friend, here's a little something for you. I hope this helps and I hope you are doing well 💙💙

I Love You, I Like You

Papa Emeritus IV x GN Reader ~ Copia is there to help you when you need him the most

Warnings: mentions of anxiety/panic attacks and the aftermath, gender neutral reader, sfw, 700 words, not proofread forgive me

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Copia understands what you're going through.

He knows what it’s like. The odd sensation like something is crawling under your skin, like something is gnawing away inside of you. He hates it just as much as you do. Hates not feeling in control. Hates that sometimes there’s nothing he can do about it but wait for it to pass.

Mostly he hates that you experience it too.

Copia watches out for the signs. For the days you are quiet and slow to get out of bed. Days where you are withdrawn and keep to yourself. Even his best horrible jokes don’t work on those days. His “Papa Jokes” as you like to call them. They are typically very stupid and usually very dirty, but they always get a laugh out of you. After you groan and roll your eyes of course.

On bad days though Copia doesn’t bother with his jokes, sometimes he doesn’t even bother speaking much at all. He’s been with you long enough to know exactly what you need when the panic and the anxiety becomes too much. When all you can do is sit in either your room or his with the lights off and a blanket wrapped around you.

He makes sure you know he’s there, that he’s ready to give you anything you need. Copia would sweep you off to a cabin in the middle of the woods if you asked him to. But most of the time all you ask of him is just for him to be nearby. His presence, the sound of his breathing, the smell of his cologne…just him being there helps you get through your attacks.

Your love for each other is strong, strong enough to handle days like this. No matter how often they happen. No matter how hard they get. Copia shuts out everything else when you need him. His ghouls helping to run interference from the outside world if necessary.

When the moment comes that you need his touch or his voice he’s there. He waits for you to whisper his name, hating how shaky and unsure you can sound. Like you’re worried he will have left. His arms are gentle as they pull you in, his voice soft as he whispers how much he loves you. Softer still when he eventually starts singing whatever song comes to mind.

Your body will go limp in his arms, exhausted from being on edge for so long. Your mind finally drifting away from the thoughts that had been racing around in your head. Thoughts that weren’t true, that you knew weren’t true but that you still couldn’t get to stop.

Those thoughts were replaced with Copia’s words now. With tales of what the ghouls had been up to, complaints about his brothers and all the ideas he had for his next album. He sings you a few bars of what he came up with, then a few of his older ones he knows you love.

It isn’t until he starts singing “Rats” that you feel like yourself again. By the end of it both of you are smiling so wide your cheeks ache. It’s here where he’ll pull you closer, where he likes to kiss you and remind you how much he loves you. How he’ll always be here for you whenever you need him.

The final step to getting you back on your feet is easy. You bite the inside of your cheek as you wait for it. Copia has to take a moment to think of the best dirty joke he can and the best way to deliver it. He knows you’ll groan and try to shove him away. He knows you’ll whine and roll your eyes at how immature he is. But he also knows what you really mean when you do these things.

He knows that when you growl and call him a dirty old man you’re really saying something else…

“Thank you for being here, thank you for loving me.”

Copia’s response is always the same, it’s always whispered into your ear and it never fails to make you feel whole again…

“I love you, I like you. I will be here for you. Always.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

my masterlist of fic

my archive of our own page

#my fics #my writing #papa emeritus iv x gn reader #copia x gn reader #the band ghost fanfiction #ghost fanfiction #ghost band fanfiction #papa emeritus iv x reader #copia x reader #the band ghost fanfics #ghost band fanfics #papa emeritus iv fanfics #copia fanfics #papa emeritus x reader #tw anxiety attacks #tw panic attacks

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aohisworld · 16 days

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MAGNETIC PULSE! 02

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ ENHYPEN’s new co-ed group starts their first album, MANIFESTO. Aohi makes a mistake that allows Jungwon, to give her a bit of sympathy that she didn’t ask for.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ eventual poly!ot7 x added member!oc. (jungwon centric). contains. angst, a little arguing, a smooch, uhm cringe writing lol.

| : ̗̀➛ MINTIE’s NOTES: Jungwon chapter yippee yippee!! Also important announcement that my asks are open now, and I’d love to get some interactions :3 don’t be a silent reader! Reblog, comment, send an ask!!

| : ̗̀➛ WARNING! How I write ENHYPEN is not meant to portray the idols irl, this is my au and I write this for fun. contains angst and a little bit of bickering/awkward tension.

✧. ┊ Jungwon was always born to be a leader, unlike Aohi, who just followed the crowd, Jungwon was born to lead it.

When he was picked as the best candidate for ENHYPEN's leader role, he was overjoyed, of course, but a part of him also wondered if he was ready for that role.

Jungwon worked to his limit to make sure ENHYPEN was where they were now. Aohi and Xiulin... he was stumped on what to do, they were suddenly thrust upon his plate when he already had so much.

Jungwon had no idea how to lead the girls, he didn't go through I-LAND with them, nor did they meet long enough to help them....

so, he didn't.

For about a few months, that went excruciatingly slow by the way, Jungwon barely made the effort to even glance Aohi's and Xiulin's way, well, more Aohi's because he respects Xiulin as his elder sister.

At first, it was smooth sailing for Jungwon, it wasn't that hard to ignore Aohi or avoid her, but as time passed on, Jungwon didn't realize her cold attitude would sting, like being out during a snowfall and it got too cold that your hands would freeze, kind of sting.

Jungwon didn't think the glare Aohi would sometimes direct at him would bother him so much. Like, made his stomach turn kind of bother.

For one, it made him feel like he was a bad person. (he doesn't think he is, is he?)

Secondly, he hated to admit that maybe, just maybe he did deserve it, and he wasn't really living up to the leader name.

Jungwon knows Aohi and Xiulin are his group members now, hell, they're making their first album with the girls now!

As a leader, he was supposed to help the girls, especially when he needed to navigate this whole co-ed situation as well, but he didn't, and knowing that left an incredibly sour taste on the boy's tongue.

That's what brought us to Jungwon now, sitting in an empty meeting room, after a weekly... report? Status? whatever it was, had happened. The boy stared straight ahead at the table, seemingly burning a theoretical hole into the furniture.

He sat unmoving for a while, getting lost in his thoughts, you could say he got it from Sunghoon's morning spacing out routine.

It was only until a can was placed in front of his line of sight did his gaze change from the table, to the girl he was exactly thinking about.

"You stare at that spot any longer, you might've actually burnt a hole into the table."

Jungwon didn't respond, glancing up at Aohi's brown orbs, before looking back down at the can on the table. "What's the drink for?" Jungwon nudged towards the drink, as if scared to touch it.

"To drink? What else?" Aohi stated, sitting opposite of Jungwon, in which Jay sat in before her, so Aohi cringed slightly as she felt the warm seat.

Aohi seemed to magically produce another can of warm tea— Jungwon had analyzed, in front of him, opening it with one hand.

"The drink was Xiulin-unnie's." She hums, blowing inside her can to take her first sip, tasting the tea and nodding her head, outwardly approving the flavour.

"Why didn't you give it to her then?" Jungwon hesitantly took the drink off of the table. "Couldn't find her." Aohi shrugged.

Jungwon made no move to open his drink, sitting up in his chair. "Why're you here?" He asks, moving the metal can from one hand to the other, temporarily using it as a handwarmer.

Jungwon didn't seem to like the fact that Aohi was so close without any reasons to be, he had no idea why he was so alert around her either, as if two cats meeting on a territory and intimidating each other.

"Why can't I be? I'm sitting with one of my members, I don't see anything wrong with that." Aohi's eyes narrowed like that of a cat as she willingly made eye contact.

As the two cat-like members stared on, Jungwon could feel that grumbling feeling in his stomach once again as he didn't back down from the intense eye contact Aohi established.

"I didn't say anything was wrong with it, I mean that you don't really like us—"

"I like Ri-ki, so I don't think that I don't like my group members." Aohi's shrugged once again, "You look at us like we're the worst people on earth." Jungwon scoffed, already disliking Aohi's response.

"I don't know why you have to look for a reason for me to be here, I'm being nice—" Aohi grumbled, placing her drink on the table since she was an easily irritable person, and this conversation— is it still even a conversation? could end up firing her up even more.

"With a stare like that?" Jungwon raised his eyebrows, he'd never seen someone who was being nice have a stare that could probably kill.

"Gosh, why do you have to start a fight with me all of the time?!" Aohi stood from her seat, pointing at Jungwon with an accusatory finger.

"Because you have so much against my hyungs and I! You don't even know us," Jungwon stood up from his seat as well, pushing Aohi's finger away with the back of his hand. "You just decided we're not even worth being nice to!"

"Neither do you! I wasn't the first to be rude, it was the hyungs who looked at me and Xiulin-unnie like we were of no hope!" Aohi argued, her words were true, how could the young girl forget?

Xiulin-unnie had to learn everything for herself and Aohi, because Aohi was finishing her studies and had to miss most of their practices.

Aohi was only angry because she cared for her unnie, and a few months in living like that, Xiulin was already extremely exhausted, and Aohi couldn't do much to help her.

Aohi was frustrated, she only wanted the boys to help, not just Ri-ki, all of the boys.

"Well—" "I'm not done!" Jungwon was silenced by Aohi, taken aback by her sudden outburst, even if he wanted to, what Aohi said was true, they truly didn't think they could debut, not so late into ENHYPEN's career at least.

Still, how could Jungwon admit that?

"Xiulin-unnie and I needed help, and we couldn't even confide in our hyungs, much less our leader." Jungwon's throat dried at Aohi's words, not knowing how to respond to that.

In all honesty, he felt like he was slapped with a hot iron pan of truth.

"Sure, Jake-hyung barely tried to help us with our dance practices, but not before pointing out every little wrong thing from us." Aohi poked her finger to Jungwon's chest, hating the way he was silent.

It wasn't like Aohi didn't know that Jungwon was the type to lead, from just meeting him, you could already feel it. That's what makes it worse.

The girls— Aohi, needed someone to follow, because that's all she knew to do, and she hoped that there was a small chance, Jungwon, as the leader, would knock some sense into his group members and allow her and her unnie to have someone to follow.

Apparently it was too much to ask for.

"We didn't even know each other, and we just decided to hate each other... months straight, we'd barely interact, even when we started to record the album.." Aohi frowned, seeing that she'd stunned Jungwon into silence.

Aohi wasn't sure whether to continue after that, only sighing and sitting back down, taking her cup of warm tea, trying to drink the tension away.

Jungwon stayed standing up, thinking. Jungwon knows he was cruel, but he thought he was doing right, he followed his hyungs along as well.

He could remember his Heeseung-hyung telling him that the girls will not gain anything by being in ENHYPEN, that they should let it be for their own good.

Jungwon should've asked what Aohi and Xiulin's thoughts were, if they could really do it, if they were really willing. Maybe then, he could've helped them, give them a place in the group, rather than giving up on them from the start.

"...I'm sorry." Jungwon hesitated, sitting next to Aohi, rubbing the palms of his hands nervously.

"You're only apologizing because I told you—"

"You're right, but I really am sorry, I mean that from the bottom of my heart." Jungwon interrupted her, Aohi turns to Jungwon, looking at him with a skeptical look.

"I was stressed, and I know that it's not an excuse, because you and Xiulin-noona were also under a lot of pressure," Aohi didn't bother to try and intervene with Jungwon's ramblings, he seemed to have a lot to say.

"But let me try and make it up to you, and Xiulin-noona."

Aohi stayed silent for a few moments, thinking, if Jungwon was genuine, and he was serious about treating her and Xiulin like actual members, maybe...

"It's been months, Jungwon.." Aohi replied curtly, turning to the side, as if hesitant to even agree. "Then I'll make up for it for as long as you girls want."

"You—" Aohi tried to start, Jungwon shaking his head at her reply, "I will, as long as you don't look at me like that again. I'll change."

And change, Jungwon did.

Aohi was taken aback the first time he did something for her, it was an interview, their first interview as a debuted co-ed group.

Aohi sat in one of the dressing rooms, spacing out on a make-up chair as the girls' own stylist worked her magic onto Aohi's newly dyed hair.

Xiulin and Aohi were successfully debuted into the group, despite the boys' hesitance, except Ri-ki and Jungwon, who happily congratulated the two girls.

Aohi remembers how much they had to handle on the first few days, the incorporation of Dark Moon, the making of their first co-ed album, it was a mess, and not to mention they barely had any breaks.

"Aohi-ssi, your make-up is done." Her stylist spoke, ushering her behind to start working on Xiulin next. Aohi stretched her arms in front of her as she sat on the couches, next to Ri-ki.

Ri-ki instantly turned to her, phone in hand to show whatever he was currently laughing at.

While the two teens giggled over whatever was on Ri-ki's screen, Jungwon approached the couch with drinks in hand, just like Aohi did, and for some reason, the leader of ENHYPEN disliked that their youngest was shoulder to shoulder with Aohi.

Without thinking any further, Jungwon pushed the two apart, Aohi looking startled at the sudden intrusion. Aohi looked up, seeing Jungwon looking down at her.

"I got you a drink, you have to stay hydrated." Jungwon took Aohi's hand and placed the cold drink, using his palm to curl her fingers over it.

Aohi's eyebrows just furrowed, glancing at Xiulin, who only stared from the mirror of the stylist chair in shock.

"Thanks, I guess.." Aohi mumbled, placing the drink on the table in front of the couch. Ri-ki didn't seem to notice, or suspect anything as he just returned to bumping shoulders with Aohi and looking at random videos.

Jungwon seemed to bite the inside of his cheek at the unsuccessful attempt at separating the two, wait— why was he even annoyed that they were so close to each other?

"Noona, are you going to drink that?" Ri-ki points to the drink Aohi had recently placed on the table.

"Why, are you thirsty, ki-yah?" Aohi hummed, grabbing the can, wiping the top and popping it open for the youngest to drink.

Jungwon stood behind them, a bit offended as he watched Aohi place the can to Ri-ki's lips, like a big 'screw you!' from Aohi to Jungwon as she gave Ri-ki the first sip of the drink he decided to kindly get for her.

"Good?" Aohi asks Ri-ki, grinning when he nods. "That's really good grape juice." He nods, wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

"here, you can have it."

Jungwon could hear his heart crack as he heard that from Aohi's lips, and Aohi heard clearly.

'You aren't gaining my forgiveness that easily..' She thinks, glancing at Jungwon, a slight mischievous smile on her face.

Since then, Jungwon had been... overbearingly kind to Aohi and Xiulin, as in... even sneaking in ordered food for them late at night. Jungwon was really determined to gain Aohi's forgiveness.

Jungwon had already earned Xiulin's respect, it's just Aohi being stubborn.

"Here..." Jungwon huffed, having ran a few floors down and back up to deliver the ordered food to the girls' dorms.

Aohi could only blurt out a small thanks before closing the door in front of their leader's face, stopping him from even saying anything.

Jungwon sat in front of their door for a bit, catching his breath, letting out a sigh before turning around, despite hearing muffled voices behind the door.

"Aohi! That was rude! You know he's still a member, he's stuck with us!" Xiulin whisper-yelled from beside her, opening the door as soon as it was closed. "Sorry, won, she's just hangry, have some with us." The older girl ushered, pulling a turned Jungwon inside.

"Unnie!" Aohi gasped, somewhat stomping her foot from the door and staring up at Jungwon with a frown. "Don't be like that, we ordered enough for an extra person." Xiulin scolded.

"I could've called Ri-ki..." Aohi grumbled, turning around and stomping into the kitchen. "You're not calling the youngest down for some fried chicken, Aohi." Xiulin retorted.

Jungwon stood by the entrance awkwardly, he was the first of the boys to even be in the girls' dorms. "Don't just stand there, go!" Aohi pointed to the living room, chopsticks and plates in her other hand.

Jungwon hesitantly approached the room, looking around curiously at the new environment, before sitting next to Xiulin, on their couch.

"I'm hungry, hurry up!" Xiulin whined from the living room, the TV still turned on, they seemed to be watching a random k-drama, obviously bored but not tired.

"Eung!" Aohi replied, sitting by the table in the middle of their living room as they started to open the food they ordered. Jungwon sat back with his hands on his lap, a bit nervous.

"Loosen up, won." Xiulin looked from behind her, Aohi placing a plate and chopsticks for Jungwon to use. The two girls were silent as they placed the food out.

"Looks so good... I'm literally about to devour everything." Xiulin let out a 'psh!' sound, bumping Aohi's leg with her own and gaining a protest from Aohi.

"I will enjoy this food.." The three recited, Jungwon slowly sliding into the middle of the two girls as they started to eat.

The trio ate silently, an occasional groan or dislike for any event that went on in their k-drama. "She's so fake for going back to her ex.." Aohi spoke, looking at the TV with a furrowed brow.

"Right? Like, if you're going to go back, don't do it in front of the boy who's liked you for forever.." Xiulin scoffed, taking a sip of her cider. Jungwon silently chewed from between them, just listening in.

Jungwon stared down at his plate, swallowing, 'ah... I need some pickled radish..' Jungwon looked for the container around the table, seeing it but... it was being guarded by Aohi.

Jungwon didn't want to ask Aohi, just watching the girl place another cube into her mouth. Xiulin glanced from beside her, seeing Jungwon eye the container.

"Yah, Jungwon wants some, don't finish it all." Xiulin spoke, nudging her head towards Aohi's direction.

Jungwon felt alarmed at the sudden call-out Xiulin made, jumping in his spot, "Ah— no, it's okay!—" Jungwon used his free hand to make a no motion.

Aohi stared at Jungwon, chopsticks in her mouth, before staring back to the TV. The younger boy felt a little awkward as the noise died down between both Aohi and Xiulin.

Aohi then stared down at the container of radishes, there was only five cubes left.. and she really liked the radishes, she glances at Jungwon, who seemed to have a bit of trouble eating the last of his bites, using cider to down it.

Jungwon grabbed the last bite of the boneless bites he was eating, getting ready to chew his way to a finished plate, unknowing to Aohi's gaze at his struggling figure.

In a small moment, Aohi made the decision to pick a cube up from the container with her chopsticks, before turning to Jungwon.. "Eung.." Aohi was feeding him a cube of radish.

Jungwon stopped mid-chew to stare at her like a deer in headlights, Xiulin was too busy being immersed in her digital show to even bother seeing the live-version play out right beside her.

'Did.. did she want to feed me?' Jungwon thought, looking at the radish before looking back up.

Aohi waited with a blank look on her face as Jungwon swallowed his bite, hesitantly coming forward as he used his teeth to bite the radish, so that his lips wouldn't touch her chopsticks.

Jungwon could feel the back of his neck warm slightly, trying to finish his food.

Ever since then, it was even more awkward between Aohi and Jungwon, the leader starting to practically follow the girl around like a cat does to his owner.

Aohi guessed he wasn't that bad, more so tolerable. Aohi didn't mind Jungwon that much, just thought it was a little tiring having to be followed around.

It's been almost eight months since Jungwon promised to change, and Aohi and Jungwon seemed to be... friends? Acquaintances? All the leader knew was that Aohi didn't avoid him anymore.

Aohi was secretly appreciative of Jungwon, he had helped plenty with her and Xiulin with coordinating their first album together, MANIFESTO.

Aohi and Xiulin learnt their roles in the dance pretty quickly, thanks to Ri-ki and Jungwon. Aohi started to find her confidence in being in the group, trying to find her dynamic, trying to fit in.

Aohi thought she was ready, actually. That she was perfectly in the spot she was. That was, until their first performance of their songs.

"Get her and Sunoo off-stage, quickly! Check on her, see if she broke or injured anything!" The staff ran around frantically behind stage, trying to close the lights to cover up the incident on-stage.

It was their first performance of their song, ParadoXXX Invasion, Aohi thought she was going to nail this first performance, she really did.

Aohi lost her footing half-way into the song, tripping onto Sunoo as the two came tumbling down. The lights dimmed as their fans gasped, murmuring at the sudden absence of lights on-stage.

Sunoo held Aohi stable as he winced, feeling a sting from his lower back from where he fell.

Aohi looked at Sunoo with teary eyes, shaking her head as a worried expression washed over her features.

"Sunoo-hyung... I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry- i didn't mean—" Aoihi whispered, wrapping her palm around her mic, just in case it was still on. Aohi didn't want the crowd hearing her lose her composure.

The whole group was ushered off-stage as Aohi couldn't even hold back her tears as she suddenly burst out in worry, and honestly, in fear.

The staff members had no idea how to comfort the overwhelmed girl. Aohi felt vulnerable at this moment, she felt more like Yoon Aohi, the seventeen-year-old girl who was a little too sensitive for her own good.

Xiulin could only usher her away from the eyes of the other members, letting out soft mantras of reassurance as they walked away. Ri-ki and Jungwon looked on in worry, being by Sunoo's side as the medic on seen checked on him.

"Go check if she's okay, I'm okay—" Sunoo grabbed Jungwon's arm, looking at him with a strained smile, knowing Jungwon's conflicted thoughts behind his eyes, of staying with his hyung, or going after Aohi.

Jungwon glanced up one more time from Sunoo to a fading Aohi, through the crowds, the boy could see glimpses of Aohi's face in her hands, her shoulders shaking.

In that moment, Jungwon didn't hesitate to follow after her, swerving through different staffs as his hyungs called for him.

"I'll just leave you here, okay? I'll be right back... just stay here.." Xiulin softly spoke, rubbing Aohi's shoulder for a bit, leaving to go talk with staff.

Jungwon tailed after the girls, approaching the dressing room that Xiulin left. Jungwon stood in front of the door for a bit, hesitating to knock before he did.

Thankfully, he did manage to do it, cracking the door open soon after, entering with as little noise as possible.

Aohi looked up from her make-up stained hands, up at Jungwon. Aohi sniffled as she wondered why Jungwon was there.

Jungwon could feel his heart tighten at Aohi's tear-stained face. Her expression seemed to hurt even worse than all of those glares she shot his way in the past.

Jungwon never wants to see her cry like this again, he wouldn't be able to take it if he did.

"Aohi..." Jungwon calls out softly, approaching the couch as he attempted to sit down, placing a gentle hand on her arm.

Aohi quickly pulled her hand away before Jungwon could even wrap a finger, "Wag mo ako hawakan!— please!" (Don't try to hold me, please.)

Aohi sniffled as she scooted to the side of the couch, making space between her and Jungwon. he didn't know what she was asking of him, not understanding what she said.

Instead, Jungwon sat on the other side of the couch, hoping she just wanted space. Jungwon could feel his stomach spin in worry for Aohi, the last few months, spending time with her made it that way.

Despite Aohi's firm obstacles in the start, trying to push him away, they ended up becoming somewhat close.

"Why're you even here?.." Aohi sobbed.

"I wanted to know if you're okay.." Jungwon frowned, looking at Aohi, itching to bring her into his arms, itching to comfort her.

"Since when did you care?" Aohi spat, she seemed defensive, thoughts racing in her head, she wondered, if Jungwon as the leader, would scold her for being so careless.

Aohi was stressed enough as it was. Jungwon could see that.

"I've always cared, Aohi.. ever since then..." Jungwon whispered, inching closer, freezing when Aohi flinched at his sudden movement.

"Please don't push me away," Jungwon begged. "I'm not here to berate you, or scold you—"

"I don't need your pity!" Aohi cried, a sob following her words. Jungwon held grabbed Aohi's hand as she tried to stand.

"I'm not pitying you, Aohi! I genuinely care for you!" Jungwon begeed once more, keeping Aohi in place, her movements frantic.

Aohi had to admit, Jungwon was pretty strong and she had to scold herself for thinking such things in a situation like this. Aohi tried to pull her hands away from Jungwon when she was pulled into his chest.

Aohi gasped, struggling in his hold as Jungwon held her in place, whispering 'you're okay's and 'relax' in Aohi's ears as she sobbed even more, only grabbing onto his sweatshirt as she cried her teenage heart out into Jungwon's clothes.

"You made a mistake, and that's okay.. it happens.." Jungwon softly comforted the girl in his arms, his hand reaching up to pat the girl's head.

"I just ruined the performance.. I tripped Sunoo-hyung.. I hurt him—" Aohi sobbed out, Jungwon shaking his head with a soft laugh. "Aish... Aohi, you're thinking too much, Sunoo-hyung won't hate you for that."

"It's not just that!" Aohi cried out, Jungwon leans back from his hug, looking down at Aohi, who seemed to stare up at him, her eyes puffy and nose red, Jungwon was convinced he could've been looking at a scared bunny.

"Then what is it? Hm?"

Aohi sniffled for a bit, moving away from her embrace with Jungwon, "I hyped myself up so much for this album... I was so confident, Jungwon," She whimpered, using her arm to wipe her eyes.

"I thought I would be able to do the performance flawlessly. I just embarrassed us, maybe I'm really not meant to be in enhypen, won.."

Jungwon stays quiet at her words, Jungwon is reminded of their starting months, he wonders if he and his hyungs made that mindset for Aohi. Jungwon wonders if he did, he really thought he was cruel.

"Don't say that, you didn't do anything," Jungwon wanted to change those thoughts in the poor girl's head, it was the least he could do.

"You're a hard-working person, Aohi, and you made a mistake but don't think for one second that you don't belong with us because of it."

"...You mean it, won?" Aohi whispered, looking up at the taller boy. Jungwon looked down at her once again, he felt a bit stunned at how Aohi was fine with showing this vulnerable side to her, especially when he's always been avoided by her.

"With everything I have." Jungwon replied, just as soft.

The two continued to keep eye contact with each other, getting lost in each other's gazes. It was quiet in the dressing room, except for the rustling of Jungwon's hand rubbing at Aohi's palm and his rings clinking with hers.

Neither Jungwon or Aohi made an effort to move away from each other, they didn't even bother to notice that, instead of moving away from each other, they inched closer and closer.

"Won?" Aohi whispered, her eyes fluttering softly.

"..Eung?" Jungwon asked, Aohi could feel his breath on her cheek, that's how close they were.

Aohi glanced down at his lips, Jungwon following her actions, dreading for the moment they would touch.

Another minute passes, an inch following.

It was quiet, too quiet.

In a span of a second, Aohi could feel Jungwon close the gap in between them, a soft gasp leaving her lips. His lips were soft, oh so soft.

Jungwon's eyes had fluttered close, he didn't know why he ended up closing the gap, hell, he didn't even register that he was kissing Aohi!

Aohi could've melted from just how soft Jungwon's lips were on hers, it was perfect, so perfect. Aohi wanted it to last forever, the feeling of their lips moving in sync was perfect, like a dream.

but as quickly as a dream ends, it did, Xiulin being the main culprit as she busts into the room.

Aohi and Jungwon jumped away from each other, Aohi fixing her appearance and Jungwon covering the lower half of his face.

"Noona! Are you okay?" RI-ki voiced, his worried figure approaching Aohi as she tried to compose herself.

"Yeah- Yeah, I'm..." Aohi glances at Jungwon, who's forced himself not to even think to turn to look at her. "I'm.. alright.." Aohi finishes her sentence, her voice lowering softly.

"We should get you out of here, the staff gave us the green light.." Xiulin spoke curtly, staring at Jungwon as she rubbed Aohi's shoulder.

Before Aohi could even get a word in, Ri-ki was already ushering her up, softly telling her to move. Xiulin taking over when she reaches the door.

"But, won—" Aohi tried to call for the other member, Ri-ki only blocking her sight. "Go, noona." The youngest pleaded, wanting Aohi to rest.

Aohi didn't say anything further as Xiulin pulled her outside, reaching the car with their stuff in tow, letting the younger girl enter the car first.

"Unnie-" Aohi tried to speak her mind before Xiulin could even scold her, but she was instantly silenced by the way her elder sister just sent a glance her way.

"Aohi, what were you thinking?" Xiulin spoke from her seat, leaning back into her seat.

"Unnie.. it was a mistake, I really didn't mean to trip—" Xiulin made a 'nuh uh' sound, shaking her head as she raised her hand up to stop Aohi from speaking even more.

"Not. That." Xiulin turns to her dongsaeng, a slightly annoyed look on here face. "I mean that... the— you know!" Xiulin motions to her hand, making kissing motions by touching the tips of her fingers together.

Aohi watches the action with her lips ajar, she opened her mouth to try and make a reason, an excuse, on why she did it, why she... kissed Jungwon.

Since nothing came out, she only sighed, looking off to the window, as if deep in thought. There was barely any sunlight left, the night coming to replace the sun.

"I don't know.. Unnie, believe me, I was upset and—" Xiulin clicked her tongue. "I thought you disliked our members? That's all you could ever talk about, remember?"

"I know but-" Aohi sighed, looking down at her fingers, fiddling with the rings. "Jungwon- He's different—" Xiulin suddenly puts her hands up in the air, it's like she's finally noticing the plot of a k-drama.

"Different? Because he was nice? You and I have known him for a few months, batsy!" Xiulin argued. Aohi flinches at her aggressive tone, feeling like a kicked cat on the curb.

"It's the way he's changing! Believe me, I tried to push him away, but he was persistent, and I started to change—" Xiulin huffed in her seat, she truly wonders what was going through Aohi's head.

Xiulin thought of the future of ENHYPEN as quickly as she saw the scene of Aohi and Jungwon. It would cause such an outrage, especially between newly-debuted members and how it would conspire so many rumours.

Xiulin's heart was in the right place, worrying about their careers, but she has to understand that Aohi didn't mean for the kiss to happen.

"Unnie.. you said it yourself, we're stuck with them! Is it so bad to try and change? To want to be on better terms with them?" Aohi reasoned, pleading her older member to understand.

"You call that better terms, Aohi?" Xiulin frustratingly replied. The two girls seemed to struggle with finding a middle ground. "Kissing Jungwon is worse than having something against him."

"I like him, unnie!" — "Is you liking Jungwon worth more than our careers?!"

Aohi stays silent at this, for once her stubbornness flickers out like a flame.

She thinks about the whole situation from Xiulin's eyes. She and her unnie worked to debut after being picked out of their respective groups and now that they are debuting, Aohi could ruin it.

Hell, she should be lucky it was Xiulin and.. maybe Ri-ki? who saw the kiss.. Oh gosh, what about Ri-ki? What will he do?

"I'm sorry, unnie... I didn't know what I was thinking..." Aohi whispered, deciding to back down and agree to Xiulin. Her unnie turns to her, seeing the young girl deflate into her chair with a soft sniffle.

Aohi was obviously upset, feeling dejected. Xiulin could only sigh, "You should stay away from Jungwon off-camera.. You and won will only hurt yourselves if feelings start to form..." Xiulin reaches over to rub her arm on the girl's shoulder, in attempt to comfort her.

Aohi only nods, their conversation ending as their separate manager enters the car, ready to drive them home.

MUSIC BANK DRESSING ROOM, 8:56 PM—

"Hyung." A voice calls out for him. Jungwon could only squeeze his eyes shut for a few moments. "Look, just- don't tell the others.." He let out a sigh through his nose, looking up at Ri-ki, who seemed visibly upset.

"I don't care about that, you shouldn't of done that to her." The youngest spoke. Jungwon was taken aback at the sudden hostility coming from Ri-ki.

"Ri-ki, what are you talking about?" Jungwon's eyebrows furrowed, looking appalled at the youngest's behaviour.

Ri-ki clenches his fists, biting the inside of his cheek. "You shouldn't of kissed her."

Jungwon wonders why he'd bring this up, he already knew? What does Ri-ki gain from telling him again?

"You don't think I know that? I'm saying not to mention it to the other hyungs, I'll—" Jungwon spoke, trying to pass the conversation as quickly as possible, the leader didn't want to speak about it, his mind jumbled from the big events of today.

"You're going to hurt Aohi-noona, you know that?" Ri-ki replies, and at this point, Jungwon wonders why he cares so much. Sure, their youngest and Aohi has been closest, but to be so defensive about her?

"Ri-ki, drop it please." Jungwon pleaded, Ri-ki flicking his head to the side, as if ticked off. "she doesn't deserve that, you—" Jungwon stopped Ri-ki from saying even more words, words that could hurt both of them.

"I care about Aohi as much as you do, Ri-ki!" Jungwon argued, Ri-ki biting back just as fierce. "I don't just care, Jungwon-hyung!" He yells, and Jungwon is quiet for a few moments, wondering what he meant.

"You're blowing this out of proportion, ki. You know we're just friends." And at this, Ri-ki scoffs. He felt like a little kid being hid away from things he obviously understood.

"Don't bullshit me, please, hyung." Jungwon clenches his jaw, he could feel the tension rise between them.

It was a familiar feeling, one that started to become obvious as months passed, the more both spent time with Aohi.

"You don't think I notice? The way you look at Noona like she showed you the wonders of the world," Ri-ki steps towards Jungwon, and the older boy takes a step back.

"You used to hate her, and now you kiss her like the past just didn't happen?"

"That was months ago! Aohi and I are on better terms!" Jungwon takes this as an opportunity to stand his ground with Ri-ki, he has never seen their youngest be so rebellious, or hell, angry with them.

"Still! I won't let you play with her feelings like that!"

Jungwon is angered at this, Ri-ki doesn't get to put that claim on him, not when he spent months caring for Aohi, not when he's made a habit to glance at Aohi to make sure she's okay, or always asking her if she needs any help.

Not when Jungwon spent so much time caring, not when he started to form feelings, when he started to love her.

"I'm not playing with anyone's feelings, Ri-ki!" Jungwon finally yells, like a cat defending his territory, feeling offended and intimidated.

"You don't get to accuse me of that! Aohi is just as important to me! I get my actions but I won't do it again! So, drop it!"

"No! I'm not dropping it!" Ri-ki keened.

"God, Ri-ki! Why do you care so much?!" Jungwon groaned, "I said I wouldn't do it again, what more could you want?—"

"It's because I have feelings for her!" Ri-ki reveals, his hand instantly reaching up to slap over his lips. It was so shocking that even Jungwon's eyes widened slowly at his words, not expecting to hear that fall from Ri-ki's lips.

Even Ri-ki's surprised that those words came out of his own mouth.

"I.. I like her."

The two stare at each other for a while, before Ri-ki couldn't handle his hyung's gaze, dashing out with a heavy heart, and a twisting stomach.

Jungwon seemed to grab at a table behind his back, feeling his knees weaken. His hands reached up to wipe the sweat on his face, the temperature of the room seemed to change as the fighting between the two got worse.

Jungwon repeated Ri-ki's works in his head over and over, as if it was a mantra. Ri-ki liked her, he had feelings for her.

God, what will he do?

#˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑰𝑺 𝑨𝑶𝑯𝑰!#enhypen #enhypen 8th member #enhypen added member #enhypen addition #enhypen au #enhypen eighth member #enhypen female oc #enhypen ot7 #enha x oc #poly enhypen x oc #enhypen x oc #enhypen fic #enhypen female addition #enhypen female member #enhypen extra member

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