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sazc94 · 3 years

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The Three Times James "Bucky" Barnes Broke your heart

This was inspired by @msmarvelwrites 2k Writing Challenge because I'm a sucker for Taylor Swift especially sad Taylor Vibes. I chose the all too well lyrics.

Apparently, I can't do anything small so it's in two parts.

Part 2 Here

Pairs Bucky x Reader and Pietro x Reader. (Not at the same time)

No smut but mentions of sex so 18+

Themes: highschool, cheating, college/uni. Friendship

Words 5659 its Suburban AU.

Winter 2018

You sat on the window seat, head resting on the cool glass a mug of hot chocolate between your hands. Winter in New York was something else, the way everything sparkled in the blanket of snow. This wasn’t your first December in the “Big Apple” but it was your first after moving here. Like the walking cliché you were you had moved here for a Fresh Start, after being offered a once in a lifetime opportunity of working for Tony Stark. You hadn’t planned on taking the job working as head of advertising for Stark Industries. The idea of moving from your small town in Michigan away from your family, everyone you knew and loved, and most importantly away from your best friend and your on-again-off-again boyfriend Bucky seemed ludicrous. You knew James or Bucky as he was to those who knew and loved him would never leave Michigan not if it meant leaving her.

James and you had been friends since, well as since long as you could remember. You had lived on the same street, gone to the same schools, played in the streets on your bikes when you were 8, played in the local park between the ages of 10 and 12. When you both hit 13 everyone assumed you would both either stop being friends or would fall romantically in love. Neither of those happened at least not right away. You two carried on hanging around each-others houses, playing video games and watching movies. Bucky had always been fiercely protective over you, his blue eyes narrowing at anyone who dared to pick on you when you were younger. His eyes would light up when you walked into the room, he loved Friday nights saved just for the pair of you to watch cheesy horror films, lounge around his sofa and stuff your faces with popcorn.

2008

Everything changed when you were 15, you and Bucky had always been inseparable, when no one asked you to combined Prom in your Freshman year, Bucky had surprised you. Showing up at your house dressed in a suit and tie with a white rose corsage, his long brown hair slicked back. You walked downstairs in your ballet slipper pink chiffon dress, your locks twisted into an intricate bun, this was the first time you’d worn heels and you nearly missed the bottom step when you saw Bucky in his Grey Suit stood in your living room. Bucky had tried out for the football team and obviously to no ones’ surprise had become the Star QB. As a result of that Bucky’s grey suit stretched across his muscular frame. Once you’d saved yourself from falling face-first down the last stair you walked over to Bucky grinning like a fool. “Bucky, what, what are you doing here? I thought you were going with Sam and Pietro and the rest of the football team” you said. “Well, I couldn’t leave my best girl flying solo at our first prom now, could I?” Bucky grinned down to you. “Besides the rest of the guys were meeting dates at the dance, so I told them I’d meet them there with you” you felt yourself blush at Bucky’s term of endearment. You and Bucky posed for photos for your Mum and Dad, your Dad trusted Bucky like his own son so there was no awkward father stare down there, you even had your curfew extended to 2 am.

The prom itself was magical, Bucky introduced you to his teammates and their dates. Sam was there with a cheerleader, Jane Foster she was friends with the cool alternative girl Wanda Maximoff who was Pietro’s twin sister they were Sophomores but made you feel welcome at their table. Complimenting your hair and shoes. Pulling you onto the dancefloor to dance with them and the rest of the cheerleaders and co to the pumped-up pop songs that blasted out. The way the gym had been transformed was nothing short of breath-taking, led fairy lights strung up in waves from the ceiling, silver stars hanging against the velvet blue backdrops made you believe you were spending the night under the stars. When the music changed to a slow song -Tim McGraw by an up-and-coming artist Taylor Swift. The Group of girls surrounding you soon dissipated to slow dance with their respective others. You started to make your way back to the table you’d been sat at, happy to finally take a breather when you felt someone tug on your wrist. You turned around fully prepared to slap whatever creep had felt it suitable to touch someone they didn’t know but your face softened to find the familiar blue-eyed, muscular brunette smirking at you. “Miss Y/N” may I have this dance?”, he asked. “Why certainly, MR James Buchanan Barnes” you replied chuckling to yourself. Bucky cocked an eyebrow at the use of his full name before pulling you tight towards him. He wrapped your arms around his neck before wrapping his around your waist. Your breath caught in the back of your throat, you and Bucky had never been this intimate, sure still hugged and had kissed each other on the cheek when you were like 5, but this felt different. The way Bucky enveloped you, the scent of his aftershave mixed with his mum’s washing powder he smelt like cherry blossom mixed with sandalwood. You rested your head on Bucky’s chest, closing your eyes deciding to take this all in. A small smile tugged on your lips as you felt Bucky stroke your hips. You didn’t know it, but he looked at you with such love and adoration and his heart squeezed watching you rest your head on his chest the smile on your pale pink lips. Bucky moved his right hand from your waist and brought it to your cheek, slightly stroking it before lifting your face to look him in the eyes. His eyes shone with affection; his eyes so blue like the ocean you felt like you were drowning in them. Then his lips were on yours crashing against your slightly chapped lips, you cursed yourself for not wearing Chapstick like the cheerleaders and Wanda did. However, as the kiss deepened, and you felt Bucky’s left-hand grip on you together and you melted into the kiss everything else faded away. Bucky drew back and looked at you. Your smile dazzling him as your eyes shone back at him. Neither of you said a word as he pulled you back to his chest whilst the DJ played another slow song.

2009 - 2010

Bucky and you dated from the end of your Freshman year right up until the summer before your senior year. Bucky and you had been inseparable for most of your High School life, he even convinced you to try out for the cheerleading squad in your Junior year, usually you sat on the Side-lines with Wanda and Carol Danvers, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to be a cheerleader it's just you were comfortable being “Bucky’s Girl” the one everyone knew without being in the spotlight, however after Wanda and Carol egged you on saying that you had the moves you went for it. You surprisingly made the squad. You couldn’t wait to tell Bucky, warmth spreading through your cheeks at the thought of how he’d be so proud. You decided to keep it quiet until you had your uniform. Jane and the girls had also promised to keep their mouths shut until you’d had the chance to surprise him. So, when homecoming rolled around, and you got your uniform for the first time you went along to the locker rooms where the football team would be heading off to change before the big pep rally. You stood against the wall one foot pressed against it, your knee bent whilst you waited. You heard Sam and Pietro before you saw them. They turned the corner roughhousing one another playfully. “Looking good Y/N” Sam shouted as he clocked you in your brand-new uniform. “looks like Bucky’s personal cheerleader now cheers for us all,” he said walking over to you and enveloping you in a hug. You giggled and at that moment Bucky Turned the corner with Peter Parker a freshman. He couldn’t see your uniform from the way that Sam’s body was covering yours, but he saw your face and started running down the hallway to you. As Sam and Pietro headed inside, he finally got to see the big reveal, he stopped in his tracks for a second. His eyes taking in every inch of your body, the skirt shorter than anything you owned, the top hugging your curves. He ran over to you picking you up and spinning you in the air as you squealed. “I knew you could do it Doll,” he said as he peppered kisses over your head, cheek, and lips. You blushed at his praise. Your Junior year with Bucky was a blur, between the football games, classes, parties’ dates with Bucky you felt like time was rushing past. You Even won Prom King and Queen at your Junior Prom. To no one’s surprise. However, that summer everything changed.

Summer 2010

You were on holiday with your family, visiting your grandparents in Miami. Every year you for as long as you could remember you and your family would spend the last 3 weeks of summer break at your grandparents. You had begged Bucky to come with you as he had in the past, however, due to football camp, he had been unable to swing it. “Hey, I’m sorry doll, it’s just coach said if I didn’t go he wouldn’t consider me for team captain,” he said hugging you from behind as you sat on your porch steps, his chin resting on your head. He had sworn to you that you would text every day and would skype at least once a week for the three weeks you were there. However, after the first week, Bucky’s texts had become less and less frequent. He’d only Skyped you once and you’d get texts from Various friends asking where you were as you weren’t at the latest party. On the final night of your holiday, as you walked along the beach by yourself taking in the last of the holiday feel your phone rang, you looked down it, confused when the caller Id said, Jane. “Hey, babe. Look I’m not sure how to say this” but uh we’re at a small party at Wanda and Pietro’s there’s about 15 of us, including this friend of mine Nat and uhm well, Bucky’s pretty wasted and well after I noticed I hadn’t seen him for a while I went looking for him”. Jane’s voice sounded stressed. You squeezed your eyes shut as tears tried to escape, not liking where this was going. “And uh, oh god I’m really sorry girl, but I, I kind of walked in on them fucking” Jane blurted it out, going for the band-aid approach as if saying it quicker would make it the cut sting any less. You didn’t say anything, you just stood there staring out the black ocean, the warm sand between your toes, feeling your heartbreak. You couldn’t believe it. Your sweet protective Bucky who had beaten up Miles Morales in 8th Grade for standing you up for an arcade date and breaking your heart. “I, I, I got to go my flights early tomorrow. My, my family will be wondering where I am” you stumbled over your words trying to get off the phone as quick as possible not wanting anyone to hear you cry.

Senior year was one of the most painful years, Bucky had met you at your house the day you got back, sitting on the wooden steps to your porch. He looked like he had barely slept, much like you. You were an only child, but your older cousin who was transferring to Michigan State University for his second year had come home with you. He took a look at Bucky and then back at you, you nodded telling him it was fine and that you had this. He walked inside but not before muttering punk under his breath. Bucky winced, he looked at you his blue eyes that once shone with nothing but love and adoration for you, now looked blank, empty, and almost unrecognisable. His brown hair which he had cut in his Sophomore year looked a mess. He started towards you, but you held your arm out.

“Don’t,” you said. He looked crestfallen and his heart shattered as you struggled to hold yourself together. “Doll, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, please, look at me, ill make it up to you, it will never happen again” he pleaded with you, his ocean blue eyes stared at your red brimmed eyes, cheeks puffy and streaked from all the crying over the last 16 hours. “Just don’t” You warned him. “Look, baby, it was a mistake, it meant nothing to me” he continued to plead despite your warning reaching out for your hand. His words hit you like a knife, you two hadn’t slept together yet and here he was claiming this meant nothing. You wrenched your hand free from him his touch burning you with his betrayal. “It meant nothing. It meant nothing!?! If it meant nothing you wouldn’t have slept with this Natasha James” you whispered. Bucky flinched at the use of his real name. Oh, how you wanted to shout, thrash scream at him and tell him you would forgive him, but you couldn’t. You had looked up the girls Instagram that night when you laid in bed crying and you couldn’t help but compare yourself to her the gorgeous read head with curves in all the right places. You started to walk towards your house. Unable to keep the tears back and not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry, Bucky called out for you, pleading with you. “I thought you loved me James, but it clearly meant something to you, or else you wouldn’t have thrown away two years of dating and 12 years of dating for sex with someone that wasn’t me, we were meant to be each other’s firsts, but you decided you couldn’t wait to get your dick wet so you went and fucked this chick you’ve known for what 5 minutes?” you cried out in anger, Bucky flinched again as if you’d slapped him. “Actually, I met her last year at one of our away game parties” he mumbled, his feet kicking the dirt around his feet. “I think you should leave” you whispered, choking back a sob before you ran into your house slamming the door behind you.

You and Bucky barely spoke that entire final year of school, you had been voted cheer Captain at the end of the summer semester, much to Jane’s approval, and you loved being a cheerleader, so you threw yourself into that as well as the school’s production of Little Shop of Horrors. You cheered at the games putting on your show face and hyping up the crowds. You wowed in the role of Audrey in the show, avoided parties with the football team and buckled down focusing on your exams and audition for the performing arts programme at the University of Michigan. After Bucky had realised, he was never going to get you to forgive him he had ended up dating Natasha. The news hit you like a sucker punch to begin with but after meeting up with Wanda, Carol, and Jane during the spring break you made your peace with it. You even smiled at Bucky in the hallways when you saw each other. By the time Graduation rolled around you had healed.

November 2011

You ended up getting into the University of Michigan on a partial scholarship thanks to your cheerleading and you were enjoying the performing arts programme, the performing arts programme at the Uni had really blown up after the whole viral “A Very Potter Musical” back in 2009 and you were thrilled to be there. You had settled right in making friends with a young lad from your course Loki Laufeyson right away. He was attractive in an unconventional way, with long black hair, a tall skinny frame but he still had muscles. You two had been cast opposite each other in Romeo and Juliet during your first year and had become good friends. You even ran into Pietro frequently he had gotten a football scholarship and couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you on the sidelines one November game. Pietro didn’t really “do” social media and hadn’t paid any attention to Wanda as you had told her, after Bucky’s betrayal you hadn’t spoken much with Sam or Pietro, after all, they were his friends and were now Uni students. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bucky’s girl,” he said grinning at you after the game, ruffling your hair like you were 5 again. You couldn’t help but wince at the old pet name, everyone in the group had called you it, Sam, Wanda, Carol even Jane but you hadn’t been Bucky’s girl for a year, well longer if you take into consideration the fact he’d been chatting with Natasha on and off for the entire year before they slept together. “It’s just Y/N” or you can call me cutie you said winking at Pietro, he chuckled. “How about I just call you tomorrow?” he retorted, you felt yourself blush. Pietro had always been a cocky confident guy, his silver-blonde hair covering his ice blue eyes, he had always been a hit with the ladies, but he seemed that bit more attractive, slightly leaner, still confident but not arrogant. You shrugged before pulling out a sharpie from your bag, you wrote down your number on his arm. He cocked his head puzzled. “I changed it last year after Bucky wouldn’t stop blowing it up with apology texts,” you said simply. Before Pietro could respond you ran off to join the rest of your squad and headed for the changing room.

True to his charm and word, Pietro called you the next day offering to be your personal guide and show you all the hidden beauty spots of the campus. You accepted; even though you had been here for two months already. You walked around the campus and had a great time, you felt yourself really relaxing and laughing at his corny jokes and the way he wiggled his silver eyebrows at you whenever he made a bad joke. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed, and you meant really laughed, the kind of clutched over struggling to get air into your lung’s laughter that the Silver-haired, blue-eyed cutie gave you. By the time Pietro had finished his tour the sun was beginning to dip, he walked you back to your dorm ever the gentleman. However, this time when your hands brushed against each other he grabbed your hand and spun you around. His hand was cool and smooth, a stark difference to Bucky’s warm calloused hands. The pair of you walked back hand in hand in comfortable silence. When you got to your dorm you leant against your door, your eyes meeting Pietro’s ice blue eyes, the almost sparkled. Pietro positioned himself so that he had one hand above your head, the other to your side trapping you between the door and himself. He leant down and kissed you. It was soft and delicate, his cool lips sucking the air out of your lungs. He pulled away winking at you before he sauntered off to join his teammates at some frat party.

That was the beginning of a three-year relationship with Pietro, you two had been on multiple dates, some official, some were just bumping into each other at the same party and then spending the rest of the evening together all through November and early December of your first year. He even came to support you at your Cheerleading competitions. Neither of you had put a label on it, but he had changed his home screen to a picture of the pair of you, it was one captured by Peter Parker, funnily enough, he was visiting the Uni with his photography club and captured the moment Pietro had picked you up after the Wolverines won their 6th game. He spun you around before dropping you down and kissing your forehead. Pietro didn’t know that you had seen his home screen. However as you were both travelling home for the Holidays you had agreed to travel together, Pietro had offered to drive but you had refused. Telling him that it would be easier for you to drive as you would be running lines late and therefore you could swing by his apartment on the way out of town. It was only a short drive to Dearborn but with the extra holiday traffic, you estimated it would take at least an hour to get to your parents. You connected your iPod to the car via AUX and pulled up your playlist you had made for the drive. You avoided all Christmas songs, and you were sick of them they played everywhere you went. Instead, you opted for Taylor Swift, damn she had blown up since 2008.

After about 30 minutes of driving as you hit the peak of the holiday traffic, you leant over to turn down the volume of your music. Comfortable with the pace of the traffic, you turned your head to Pietro. “So,” you began. “What’s up Bunny?” Pietro asked snapping his eyes up from his phone. “Well, I just thought now might be a good time to talk, we’re obviously going to run into a lot of our old friends, and there’s no way Wanda won’t know something is going on here, and I, I saw your lock screen,” you said, you could feel yourself blush, there was something about Pietro, he made you feel like a high school sophomore all over again. “So you were wondering what we are?” the amusement in Pietro’s voice didn’t escape your notice, you could feel yourself getting embarrassed. Of course, he was a college Sophomore, you two had never had the exclusive talk, how could you be so silly. You stared straight ahead focusing on the slow-moving traffic. Oh god, you wanted to die. Pietro noticed the change in your demeanour and instantly felt bad, he grabbed your right hand from the steering wheel. “Hey Bunny, look at me,” he said softly, you turned your head to face him. “We are exclusive, we are a couple, I’m sorry you felt the need to ask, but I adore you, so we are a thing,” he said stroking circles on the back of your hand. You smiled and nodded to yourself.

Almost everyone had made it back for the Holidays, excluding a few people, Bucky, Carol, and Jane, they all had their reasons, but you couldn’t help but feel a little sad that Carol and Jane had been unable to make it back. Wanda was elated for you and Pietro, to your surprise she threatened Pietro and not you. Christmas break came and went all too quickly. Pietro even brought you a small gift even though he didn’t celebrate Christmas, what with being Jewish. He was also very touched at your gift a small, framed copy of the photo of his lock screen, only in black and white except for the ribbon in your hair, the number on his Jersey matching his number painted on your cheek. The next year also seemed to rush by, between keeping on top of your studies, your rehearsals for the play, football matches, nationals for your cheerleading competition. It felt like you had barely any time to breathe.

2012

The summer between your 1st year and 2nd year was a small respite, Pietro had decided to stay in his apartment for the summer, he had a summer job and you decided to stick around after trying out for a local theatres summer production of Grease, unsurprisingly you had been cast as Patty Simcox a cheerleader. “How ironic, my little cheerleader playing a cheerleader” Pietro joked. You just rolled your eyes at him, that night Pietro stayed in your dorm, you were going to have to move out for the summer, your roommate for the year had decided she was going to move into her Sorority House next year and was going home for the summer. You and Pietro were cuddled up on the sofa watching Grease, you had your legs over Pietro and the arm of the sofa. To your surprise, Pietro had confessed he’d never seen it and had asked you to watch it with him so he could see who you would be playing. You let out a sigh. “What’s up bunny?” he asked not taking his eyes of the movie, he was rubbing small circles on your legs. “Student housing emailed me today, they said since Sophie is moving out and going home for the summer. I can’t stay in my dorm this summer. I’m trying to figure out where to go as the apartment I want to rent isn’t available until August” you said, blowing your hair out of your face. “Move in with me for the summer,” Pietro said without skipping a beat. “We’re not going to be around much in the daytime, you’ve spent a lot of nights at mine recently and it’s just for the summer, theirs a spare bedroom where you can store your stuff, and Wanda will be visiting in 3 weeks, it’s no big deal,” he said as he continued rubbing circles on your legs. You stared at him for a moment, your mind racing. “Okay,” you said nervously biting your lip. “Okay, I’ll move in for the summer,” you said again this time sounding surer of yourself. You picked up the remote and pressed pause on the DVD. You and Pietro had been dating for most of the school year, and he had been nothing but a gentleman never pressuring you for more than you were comfortable with, he knew Bucky had hurt you and you still hadn’t had sex yet as a result of it. You stood up a peeled of your jumper, Pietro cocked his head with his cute, puzzled expression. You didn’t say anything, instead, you removed your athletic shorts leaving you in nothing but one of Pietro’s football jerseys and your panties. You walked to your bedroom. Pietro didn’t move. After a few moments of waiting for him to follow you walked to your door frame and coughed, Pietro looked at you. “Well, are you coming or not handsome?” you asked leaning against your frame, so his jersey rid up slightly exposing the skin of your stomach. Pietro chucked his phone on the sofa before throwing you over his shoulder. That night you and Pietro had sex for the first time.

December 2012

Summer came and went in a blur of a heatwave, and lots of sex. You moved into your apartment off-campus, you spent a lot of time hanging out with Loki between classes, throwing ideas back and forth for an original piece you had to work on for the spring showcase. Pietro and you would always ride to games together, with Pietro being in his third year, the team bus rides were no longer compulsory and as the college couldn’t afford for the squad to have a bus you had to make your own way to the away games anyway. You and Pietro had driven home for Winter break, your family had decided to head to Boston this year, that way your cousin could see his family, however as you and Pietro had a game two days after New Years it didn’t make sense for you to fly out for such a short period off time. This was your first Christmas in years where you wouldn’t be seeing your family, or even celebrating really. However, Wanda and her Mum had insisted Pietro bring you home with him for the winter break. So that was how you found yourself sat in Pietro and Wanda’s basement drinking beer and hanging out with the old gang along with some new faces. Carol had brought home her girlfriend Valkyrie, Jane and Sam were there, even Peter Parker who was now a senior was there he’d even brought his girlfriend Gwen with him. Wanda had brought home her Boyfriend James or Vision as he was affectionately known. Wanda was studying Fashion in NYC; Vision was studying IT and was a whiz with technology. You were cuddled up in the corner of the sofa with Pietro, he was playing some game with Sam and Peter and you were scrolling through your IG feed. Taylor Swift’s latest Album Red playing through the speakers. Pietro had groaned but with Sam being a secret Swifty he was quickly outvoted. You kissed Pietro’s cheek getting up to grab another bottle of beer each. You were technically underage for another few months, but Wanda’s mum had said if you were going to drink whilst you were here, she’d rather you did it under her roof in a safe controlled manner.

You heard him before you saw him. Being the gracious guest you are, you had noticed the beer was low in the fridge, so you were restocking it when you heard Bucky’s familiar laugh. You may have made peace with what Bucky had done but other than a quick congratulations and farewell at Graduation you hadn’t spoken since that summer back in 2010.

Bucky walked over to the fridge, you had changed your hair colour since you’d last seen him at Graduation in 2011, your usual hair was now a chocolate brown, you had your head in the fridge still when he coughed. “Hi I’m Bucky,” he said. You took a deep breath, grabbed three bottles of beer and pulled your head out of the fridge, turning around to face him. “I’m well aware who you are, Bucky,” you said handing him a beer. Bucky’s eyes widened as his ocean blue eyes reached yours. “Hey Buck,” you said softly. “Y/N. I didn’t recognise you” he grinned, moving to hug you. You let it happen, standing stiffly in his arms. “Yeah it's been a minute, how’s school, and Natasha, I heard you got into UDM?” you asked shooting him a smile before twisting the lid of your bottle. “Yeah, I did. Schools great kicking my ass a bit and Natasha and I broke up actually” he said avoiding eye contact with you. You and Bucky made polite conversation for a few minutes Pietro finished up his game with Sam and Peter, noticed you hadn’t returned so made his way over to you and Bucky. “Hey Bunny,” he said kissing the corner of your head before wrapping his arms around you. “Hey Buck, long time no see!” Pietro said. Bucky stood frozen for a few seconds processing what he had just witnessed. “Hey, Pietro Yeah. It's been a hot minute, so you two are a couple? You guys look cute congrats. Oh man, wow is that Peter over there? I barely recognise him I’m going to go say hey. Catch you guys later!” Bucky said practically running over to Peter. You turned around and kissed Pietro. “Come on Quicksilver, let’s see if I can beat you at Mario Kart,” you said pulling him over to the sofa.

December 2012 – August 2014

Winter break came and went. Your second year at Uni whizzed past. Pietro even joined you and your family for your annual summer vacation in Miami, your grandparents were getting on a bit so you decided to skip the summer production of Hairspray. By the time, your third year rolled around you and Pietro settled into a routine between school, studying, games and rehearsals you would steal kisses in the hallways, meet one another at classes with hot drinks, coffee for Pietro not that he needed a boost of energy and usually a hot chocolate for you. After football games, Pietro would drive you back to his apartment. If it were a rare free evening, you’d curl up with a movie at yours. Hanging onto the small moments of peace. You both knew Pietro was going to be moving to New York after he graduated. He’d been studying business and was going to start a fashion company with Wanda. You also both knew that long-distance wasn’t going to work, you’d been majoring in performing arts, but you had also been taking extra courses to help with a career in advertising as a backup. Saying your goodbyes to one another sucked ass. You and Pietro had left your annual Miami holiday a week early to spend a week in Florida visiting the Theme Parks, Wanda and Vision were also going to meet you there. Neither of you had grown up exceptionally wealthy, but Wanda and Pietro’s dad Max Eisenhardt had reached out to them a few years back and had insisted on paying for the four of you to have a group vacation. He had tried to convince Wanda and Pietro to book a holiday in Germany where he was living but they had refused. Pietro had already packed up his apartment and moved most of it back to his family home whilst you finished up school for the year. He had been staying with you for the summer before joining you on your vacation so when you headed to the airport it was time to say your goodbyes. “Be good Bunny, don’t cause too much mischief with Loki and stay in touch. I love you my little Bunny” he said wiping the tears from your eyes. You couldn’t say anything, so you just held him tight and cried.

Tagging the bestie @lannycleave because I have promised to write a sad Steve one as a way to punnish myself

Part 2

#bucky x reader #pietro x reader #avengers au #marvel #marvel au #avengers fanfiction #𝐦𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬𝟐𝐤 #bucky barnes fluff #pietro maximoff fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #pietro maximoff fanfiction #natasha x bucky

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dragonladdie · 3 years

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Gelfling OCs time

So here are my main four TDC characters... i hope you like them.

Oh! I also made these fellas using this picrew! Go check it out it’s ADORABLE(and be sure to follow the og creator on their twitter, too 👀).

Ezran

Spriton/Stonewood

He/him

14 trine (babey)

SMUG LITTLE ASSHOLE

trans >:3c

Was raised in Stone-in-the-wood

His mum was a soldier for Maudra Fara, and his dad was a guard at the Castle of the Crystal

Every now and then he’d go visit his dad at the Castle and make the guards’ life a living hell while he was there

Especially Tolyn’s

The Skeksis noticed his spirited energy and told his parent’s they wanted him to become one of the guard when he was older

He’s pumped

Oh SHIT they’re evil

Skeksis drain his dad and kidnap his mom

Lonely boy :(

“Well guess I’m joining the Resistance.”

Rian takes pity on Ezran and takes him under his wing

Covers up Trauma™ by annoying the absolute FUCK out of Rian

The rest of the Resistance thinks he’s adorable, though

Probably a Redditor kid

Tiny

Sifrin

Spriton/Drenchen

he/they

25 trine

Basically the Hunter but gelfling flavored

VERY agressive & violent

Nucking Futs

His Drenchen half doesn’t really show except for his reptilian eyes & gills

His gills kind of work but it’s like breathing through a wet towel so he doesn’t use them often

His mum died shortly after he was born

His dad got killed by the Hunter when he was little and the only reason Sifrin escaped is because he fell into a river

The Hunter was the one who gave him the scar

Washed ashore near Sami Thicket

No one believes him that he and his dad was attacked by the Hunter, except lil Kylan

Long story short, they were best buds growing up

But they were severely bullied and he ends up developing a VERY short fuse

One day, some assholes were picking on them and one of them punched Kylan

Sifrin goes ape shit on them and VERY badly hurts them in the process, and Sifrin is eventually exiled from Sami Thicket

Now works as a bounty hunter/mercenary

Misses Kylan...

Inbali

Drenchen

she/her

27 trine

Works as an assassin for hire

Also kills slave traders with her wife, Qi’lea

Does not put up with Shit

Very apathetic and serious

Takes a lot to make her smile

“You should smile more! It’ll make you look pretti-” *stabs you*

Takes a lot to make her(visibly) angry

She’s more likely to kill you in your sleep/poison you if you fuck with her

But do NOT fuck with her wife she will rip you apart

Left the Swamp of Sog when she was younger to explore Skarith

Met Qi’lea while she was in Cera-Na

Originally thought of her as a nuisance

Until she got cornered by a darkened Rakkida

Qi’lea swoops in and saves her

... <3

Couple years later they’re married

Be gay do crime

Qi’lea

Drenchen/Grottan

she/they

27 trine

Pronounced kuh-lee-ah

Cocky and confident

Really flirty

Is actually demiromantic

Surprisingly strong for her size

No seriously she will launch you into the suns like a sack of potatoes

Be a lesbian... benchpress ur wife

Grew up in a Sifan orphanage

Said “fuck it” in her teens and became a thief

Spends a few years picking pockets

Until she gets absolutely Capped by Inbali after she tries to rob her

Goes “hm” and follows her around out of spite

Sees Inbali in trouble and goes to rescue her

They became friends after the incident

Years later they’re maRRIED

Will gladly fuck up a slave trader no pay

Both of them are considering joining the gelfling rebellion

#tdc #tdc aor #tdc age of resistance #The Dark Crystal #the dark crytsal: age of resistance #the dark crystal aor #Dark Crystal #Age of Resistance #gelfling #gelfling oc #look at all of these GAYS

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eyeslikefoxglove · 4 years

Text

Episode 19 - Yiling Laozu mode activated & BAMF!Lan WangJi avenging his husband

Hiiii! It’s Saturday and I’m pumped! Sorry it’s been radio silence for the whole week, I tried to do this on Monday, but I’ve been going driving with my parents the whole week bc I finally got my own car (or rather, they got me a car) and ya girl hasn’t driven for the last six years, so I needed some practice. Also, I pouted at my mum to get me a bunch of music albums in physical format for said car... and turns out it doesn’t have a CD reader lol. In other news, gardening has the upside of giving me a healthy sun glow, instead of my usual Vulcan pallor (I’m quite light and olive, I’m pretty much green-ish) and before anyone freaks tf out about sun tanning and skin cancer: I have a sun allergy, I don’t go anywhere without SPF 50 and I don’t sunbathe.

Ok, two things: one, WWX is looking rough, I mean, expected after such major surgery. Two, thank god someone finally decided to disguise his clothes.

Aaaaaand it did fuck all for him. Cool cool cool.

JC’s dream/hallucination is fucking me up ok? Ok.

MY BB! 10/10 this is what he’d see if he looked in the Mirror of Erised, it’s breaking my heart.

FUCK OFF SUBCONSCIOUS, LET HIM HAVE ONE HAPPY DREAM.

He’s so happy! I know it’s a complicated issue but I’m also glad he had this moment of relief and happiness in all this mess.

Again WC missed the memo about how antagonistic WWX can be. His brother has a golden core again and his sister is safe, I’m pretty sure at this time he couldn’t give less of a fuck if he lives or dies and he’s reached peak pain tolerance with the core transfer so not even torture will work; exactly what leverage does WC think he has on WWX for the interrogation?

WC: I’ll ask WZL to crush his core first.

Me: *uncontrollable cackling*

Slow clap for our boy for activating YLLZ (I’m going to start shortening Yiling Patriarch to this) mode while really fucked up. I really love this creepy af side of WWX and considering this is pre-Burial Mounds I think it is safe to say he’s always had it in him, just you know, amped up to 11 after the Trauma and the demonic cultivation.

Anyway, go forth and mindfuck them all my child.

...that branding iron is not hot, why it is smoking?

JC: *wearing a hat and plain robes to hide*

Also JC: *Zidian and his very distinctive guan on full display*

Ok I don’t have any way to elaborate on it, but I’m pretty sure of two things:

1. The Burial Mounds is An Entity.

2. WWX is not fully alive anymore.

3. (This is a bonus, I don’t want to think what he ate for three months in a mountain full of corpses. Ok? Ok)

WN BB WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU. HE’S SO GOOD AND SO BRAVE I CAN’T.

This is creepy creepy.

So when WWX starts hearing LWJ’s voice among all the screaming is this LWJ already playing Inquiry (if I remember he did play inquiry when he found out Lotus Pier had burned) or him just being WWX’s anchor to sanity?

Oh hey, that’s a rib cage.

And thus YLLZ was born.

This is one of my favourite scenes and I’m pumped. I’ve also seen it set to a Targaryen music theme and it is even more fucking epic. I kept expecting LWJ to go dracarys on their asses. Also, he’s literally a husband on a revenge mission right here, fucking fight me if you disagree (don’t fight me, I’m baby). Btw as always the cinematography *chef’s kiss* Just assume I’m screaming like a fan girl all throughout this.

Now he’s a widower on a revenge mission (or so he thinks)

PSA: don’t be like JiaoJiao, take your makeup off before going to sleep.

(Ok, tiiiiiny bit of pity for JiaoJiao here, she’s fucking terrified and WC is being an asshole about it. I mean, it’s what everyone expected but holy shit what a douchebag)

Ohhhh sad WuJi on a cello still breaking my heart.

Ok but let me delve into my own hc here. JC is being so very soft when talking to LWJ, it kind of makes me wonder how many sleepless nights these two ended up talking about WWX in their search and just trying to reassure each other that he was alive. There is absolutely no bitterness when he says he thought WWX had taken off to be with LWJ in LanLing too, so that, plus the fact that the Lan disciples give Suibian to LWJ really makes me think JC knows and is on board with LWJ’s feelings for WWX. There’s absolutely no way he’d let him touch his, afahk deceased, brother’s sword if he still thought LWJ hated WWX.

I just need these two sad beans to be friends ok?

Just imagine:

LWJ: Wei Ying is so... *longing look, Bichen grip*

JC: *lightbulb goes off* oooohhh. Ok, now I see, you want to marry the dumbass!

LWJ: *freaked out look*

JC: No, no. It’s fine, once we find the idiot he’s all yours.

That’s a lot of bodies. Also, of course Dumb Jin Cousin (I know he’s Jin ZiXun but shortening it sounds too much like Jin Zixuan, so no. Also the reason why I call Jin Zixuan Peacock all the time) doesn’t mind animals desecrating corpses.

I don’t know if I’ve said it but I so much prefer CQL!Peacock to MDZS!Peacock. Just look at the character development of him making his own people collect the corpses of their enemies and be respectful to them.

Also, oooff, Shijie saying that anywhere they travel the only thing to see is corpses covering the ground hit me hard.

Some of my Yunmeng sibs are together again and I’m smiling like an idiot (also, JC looks like he gives amazing hugs).

Nvm JC realising LWJ is into his baby brother, I’m pretty sure the Peacock thinks LWJ just became a widower.

Again, NMJ is a cool dude, but he needs to take a fucking chill pill before he bursts a blood vessel and ends up with a haemorrhagic stroke of out sheer anger- induced HBP.

But also, if he didn’t agree to give these two the Yiling assignment out of sheer big brother instinct I’ll eat one of my textbooks.

Look at him asking after his crush and getting all worried when he realises no one knows where he is.

These two, crying over their baby brother just break my heart. I just want to blanket and kittens them.

We are getting murdery in here!

Thanks for reading!

#the untamed #cql #mdzs live action #mdzs #foxglove watches cql #foxglove watches the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #yunmeng shuangjie #yunmeng trio #yunmeng siblings #yunmeng bros #jin zixuan #nie mingjue #commentary

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intrns-blog · 5 years

Text

*‘ello guvna ( its funny because im british mocking our stereotypes , play laughing track #3 ) ! i’m dav ( gmt , he / him ) && i am super pumped for this group like ??? i haven’t been in any groups for a ( HOT ) minute so i apologise if my shit is a lil rusty but i am trying my best , honestly . . . anyways , a lil rundown on me ig !

i am a colossal moron , COLOSSAL ! i love tom holland , jorja smith && ngl ive been sat here for three minutes trying to figure out a third person / thing that i love but my mind is blank so back to the point of me being a moron . . . [ nicki minaj vc ] did i lie ? but yeah , conclusion to this intro ? i am an idiot and good luck dealing with me p.s. stan twitter is probably all i reference ? anyways , enough of my headass !

i can’t believe i just saw ISAIAH ‘ IZ ‘ BRYANT walking out of cadence records. they’re lucky enough to be a/an INTERN at candence records and they’ve been with the company for ONE MONTH. it’s been stated at c.r. that they’re known to be IRKSOME but i heard they can be ASSIDUOUS too and they seem to give off a vibe that reminds people of TANGLED EARPHONES, ROLLED UP CIGARETTES, CHEAP HAIR GEL, COLD COFFEE & BITTEN NAILS.

birth name: izaiah ‘ iz ’ gabriel bryant / age: twenty one / date of birth: september 11th / gender: cismale / place of birth: hackney , north london / sexual orientation: bisexual / occupation: intern at cadence hq / zodiac: virgo / significant features: small scar on chin from skateboarding accident

well , lets get you settled into the ( boring ) upbringing of iz bryant . . .

iz was born to very young parents , the pair both only being eighteen at the time . their lack of funds and living situation wasn’t enough to care for little iz . due to this ? he ended up living with his grandmother and grandfather , on his mum’s side .

they lived in hackney , north london which was the ideal living situation but his grandparents easily made ends meet , providing iz with a better upbringing than either of his parents could . this hadn’t meant he didn't see them , they visited often , which began to turn into weekends , then fortnights and eventually ? it’d be a surprise if he saw them once a month . however , at such a young age ? this hadn’t affected him as he had practically believed his grandparents were his birth parents .

life was average for iz , his school grades remaining stable throughout , leaving with a’s and b’s , due to the fact that he’d always choose to stay in and study rather than join his friends on late night adventures to places unknown . it hadn't appealed to him . which was until his college years began , these years brought a whole new iz out . you could barely recognise him , it was like a whole new person had appeared .

from staying in and studying to finding himself roaming the streets of central london at 3am , iz had fallen into a downwards spiral . his grandparents began to give iz his freedom meaning that whatever took place outside of the house , stayed out of the house . he was making up for missed time .

idk what to say rly ??? he went from shy little introvert to big OBNOXIOUS extrovert ?? no reason behind it , the boy turned 18 and he just ended up clubbing week in , week out . . . it was a routine .

now ? this is a little rundown on iz’s personality . . .

first of all , iz is now a major extrovert , he will make his presence known in any setting . this is purely down to the fact that he knows he works in an establishment where he is considered to be at the bottom so he needs to treat himself as he were at the top so he gets the energy reciprocated

however , he is a MAJOR klutz , like boy , get it together ? he genuinely had to write out his routine in his phone so he can checklist it every morning before he leaves like , it genuinely says ‘ did you remember to tie your laces ? ’ because god knows if he didn’t have that ? he’d never not be tripping his own ass up .

that checklist stems into another important factor about iz , he’s very precise . he pays attention to every little detail and has to make sure all his work is perfect before presenting it . why do you think he takes an hour to get ready every morning ? just kidding , the kid looks like a bum . he cares about every physical appearance but his own , headassery behaviour .

he also happens to radiate an ‘ i don't care ’ attitude but we all know he cares deep down . he doesn’t care until something isn't going his way . very self-obsessed , it’s irritating just like him . don't let him have his way and prepare for emotional blackmail .

but don’t ignore the fact that he can be a major sweetheart when he feels necessary , especially when it comes to his homies , always giving them the gas they deserve , * chefs kiss * - esque , that type of shit ! just call him the chaotic sweetheart !

that’s all i rly have for his personality but it should give a better insight in to showing what he's like !

i added a few songs that i feel radiate his energy or that he’d have stored on his playlist !

1. ACT - comethazine › PERSONALITY

2. heartless - kanye west › PERSONALITY

3. mr. rager - kid cudi › PERSONAL

4. c7osure ( you like ) - lil nas x › PERSONALITY

5. same old story - skepta › PERSONAL

( bonus ) 6. high horse - kacey musgraves › BOTH

#cadence.intro #*ﾟ ◟ 𝗂𝗓 𝖻𝗒𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗍 › 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 #* tHIS ??????? s UCKS !

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sqiderling · 5 years

Text

Elevators | Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: You and Tom are in a hotel. You have two elevators at your disposal. It wouldn’t hurt to test out destiny right?

Word Count: 1394

Warnings: some swearing, my rusty ass writing and possibility some inconsistency in characterisation because the first half of this has been sitting in my drafts for like a year and i’ve only decided to finish it today so yeah yikes

A/N: damn it’s been a while since i’ve written literally anYTHING. and by a while i mean like a year and a bit... i just got some inspiration to write this morning so here’s the kind of result? like i said in the warnings the first half of this oneshot/drabble/blurb/???? had been sitting in my drafts for like a year so like i don’t know how badly it’s affected the overall result bUT at this point i’m happy that i have something to post (even tho its a bit dry but yeET). i hope you guys enjoy and feel free to leave some constructive criticism in the comments!

“Do you believe in destiny?” he asked.

You and Tom were hanging out together in the hotel he was staying at, strolling down random corridors on numerous floors for the fun of it. You’d decided to spend some time with Tom today since you happened to be in the same city he was doing promos. Going out into the city wasn’t an option according to Tom because “I don’t want the paparazzi bothering you.” Staying in his room had also gotten boring fast so out and about in the hotel corridors it was.

“Not really,” you said, swinging the arm you were using to hold his hand back and forth. “I do believe some things happen for a reason though. It’s nice to think some things have an explanation, you know?”

Tom laughed. “I guess so.”

Suddenly he stopped walking and you felt his hand tighten around yours. You stopped with him, your intertwined hands preventing you from taking any more than two steps from Tom. You watched as his face slowly lit up with the glow of a new idea; it was something you witnessed quite often.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Y/N, what if we tested it out?”

You stood to face him front on with your arms crossed. “And how do you propose we do that?” A small smile found its way to your lips as Tom’s excitement grew. Without responding, he started down the empty, brightly lit corridor with you in tow. He was taking you to the elevators.

There was elevator on each side of the corridor. Tom pressed the up button for both.

“Would you mind explaining what your plan here is, Thomas?”

“Okay, hear me out,” he said. “We get on different elevators and choose a floor number. Then we’ll see if destiny works its magic on us and we end up getting on the same floor!”

The corners of your lips turned up and you laughed quietly. Destiny didn’t exist. The whole concept just seemed silly.

“Oh, Tom. You really know how to humour me.” You chuckled still as Tom deflated a little at your remark.

“What do you suggest we do instead then, Y/N?” He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “Seeing as you seem to bloody know everything.”

“Well, the ice cream parlour on the second floor sounds very appealing don’t you think?” you asked as you had a quick scan of the floor guide attached to the wall.

Tom ran his hand through his messy brown curls as he pushed off from the wall. Walking over to you, he wrapped his arm around the back of your waist and said, “Then let’s make a bet out of this.”

“You aren’t letting the destiny thing go are you?”

He ignored your question. “If we land on different floors, I pay for ice cream. But if we end up on the same floor, you have to pay.”

You bit your lip as you took a couple seconds to consider his proposition. It didn’t take very long for you to reach a decision though. You were never one to back away from a bet. Especially one that included the possibility of free food.

Sticking your hand out, you said, “It’s a deal.”

Eagerly he took your hand and shook it. “Nice doing business with you, Miss Y/L/N."

Right on cue, one of the elevator doors opened. Thankfully there was nobody inside. You looked at Tom.

"We need to wait for the next elevator to arrive so you need to keep that one open so it doesn't move," He pressed the button again for the elevator across the corridor.

"Right," you trailed off, "are you sure another elevator will come up? Seeing as this one's already here and there has to be some kind of system that sees how-"

"Don't worry, it'll work." He glanced up at the display above the elevator doors. "See! It's already coming up for us."

And indeed it was. They were on the 34th floor and the number was slowly creeping up towards your floor. The elevator that had already arrived started to close but you quickly put a hand out and pressed against the door to keep it open.

You look down at the floor with a small embarrassed smile on your face. This definitely wasn't something you would do normally and you felt somewhat silly. But one look at that childish excitement on Tom’s face and you couldn’t resist. You could never resist that face.

Suddenly you gasp. "What if we're holding someone up who's waiting down at the lobby?"

Tom smiled at you, amused. "You know that these are only one out of, like, the 20 sets of elevators in the entire hotel right?"

"But what if someone wants to use these particular ones?"

"Relax, man. This hotel is huge."

Your eyebrows were furrowed as you once again looked at the ground and a small frown had appeared on your face. You heard Tom sigh and his footsteps against the marble tile floor. You didn't realise your shoulders had tensed up until he'd wrapped his arms around your torso and you felt your whole body relax into him. He kissed the top of your hair.

"I know how you feel about making people wait and annoying people when you don’t mean to. You're always so selfless with strangers that it makes me feel guilty a lot of the time," His small chuckle vibrated out of his chest and into your back. You released a small giggle, you couldn't help it. "But if it makes you feel any better this hotel is never busy at this time of day so you really don’t have to worry. I promise."

The ding of the other elevator signalled it's arrival. Tom let go of you and quickly rushed to keep the doors open.

"Okay, fine," you said, walking in and crossing your arms. "But if you ever make me do any of this destiny stuff again I will not hesitate to write your mum a strongly worded letter about your silly behaviour."

Tom threw his head back with laughter and you attempt to keep a straight face. "Oh, that's horrible, Y/N. I'm shaking in my boots."

"Shut up, Thomas." You tried to keep stern but you already had a smile on your face. By then both of you were standing inside your respective elevator and you had already chosen a floor button. You'd chosen Floor 2. He counted down to 1 and you closed the doors at the same time. He mentioned beforehand that this would only work if there were no other people waiting on other floors so that the doors will open at the same time.

You patiently waited, leaning against the cold metal wall. At this point, all you could think about was that glorious ice cream waiting for you on the 2nd floor. It was then that you realised that maybe choosing Floor 2 was too obvious so you quickly press Floor 3 instead.

At last the doors open revealing the identical looking elevator waiting area as the rest of the floors and, unsurprisingly, closed metal doors to the elevator opposite you. You let out an unrestrained and victorious "YES!" and you do a fist pump. Smugly, you reach for your phone and open messages. You type:

"Mmm that free ice cream is going to taste sooooo good"

But before you can press send the elevator dings. The doors slide open and your eyes lock with a pair of all too familiar brown ones.

"What the fuck," you whispered under your breath.

You looked behind him and there was another person inside the elevator. Tom practically strutted out of there, with the smuggest smile on his face and a new twinkle in his eye.

"Sorry 'bout the wait, love. Got a little held up by Mr Lobby Floor back there."

Your eyes stared daggers into him as he came over to you and lazily draped an arm around your shoulder. There was no way that this was about some destiny mumbo jumbo. Tom probably rigged your phone or something. There had to be some logical explanation behind this.

He goes to press the button for the elevator. "Now how about that ice cream?"

Or maybe it was destiny for you two to meet.

Over and over again.

#michelle writes things #michelle writes #its been a fucking whileeeee yalllll #i was tempted to call this piece destiny but that wouldve been too cheesy #and i dont like cheese very much #tom holland #tom holland x reader #spider-man #spider man #spider-man: far from home #spider-man: homecoming #peter parker #elevators

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quebuenarolaa-blog · 5 years

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Mom’s Complete Breast Pump Purchase/ Used Guide in 2019

Breast milk comes with several benefits. Pediatrics and professional organizations recommend breastfeeding your baby for the first six months, with an exception of some medical conditions, without introducing water, formula, or juice as supplements. Breastfeeding is convenient however unless you need to carry your baby with you everywhere you go and the idea always goes smoothly, you will perhaps need a breast pump.

A breast pump is a mechanical device that lactating women use to extract milk from their breasts.

Actually, a breast pump is vital for nursing mothers in several scenarios: returning to work and need to continue breastfeeding, your baby can't manage to physically breastfeed for some reason, or you want to skip a feeding sporadically because of travels or if not away from your baby. Learn more about contraindications to breastfeeding.

A breast pump may come in handy over the first few days of delivery when the breasts can be very full that a baby may find it hard to latch on. Things can be moving along in the hospital, however, when you get home, the supply can surpass demand. A quick fix is to extract some milk with a breast pump so you are good to go immediately you return home after delivery. Additionally, a breast pump enables you to store milk for later, after which you can bottle feed it to your baby or blend it with a little cereal when your baby enters the "solid" food stage after around 6 months.

Here Are Some Essential Features for Breast Pumps:

Have various speed patterns and suction level - during breastfeeding, the milk begins with letdown and thereafter the milk is expressed. Switching speeds capability closely resembles the act of breastfeeding and increases milk production.

Different power options - Since much pumping is often used by mums on the go, ensure your pump is electric and battery powered or perhaps manual for those times when there is a blackout or out of battery.

Portability - This is vital and very essential if you want to pump from outside the home.

Spring for a double pump

Adjustable suction power - to adjust the strength of the suction freely. 6. Strength - powerful strength to faster milk production.

Soft let-down massage cushion - to protect breast and reduce breast pain.

Unique backflow prevention design - double pumps avoid backflow of milk during pumping.

6 Reasons to You Must Have a Breast Pump

The typical reason to pump is to collect your breast milk for your baby to have when you are not around and retain your milk supply for the time you are with your baby. Here are some other reasons:

To revitalize your milk production and raise your milk supply

To collect milk for your baby who can't latch well

To ease the pain and pressure of engorged breasts

To raise your milk supply if advised by your healthcare provider or under certain conditions like medication.

To wean as a result of an infant's death.

When the baby is placed in a nursery and, as such separated from the mother.

Should I Use the Second-Hand Breast Pump?

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="621"]

Should I Use the Second-Hand Breast Pump?[/caption]

Even though it may be tempting to use a shared or borrowed or purchase a used breast pump, the FDA and breastfeeding professionals generally caution against it. The breast milk can carry viruses HIV and cytomegalovirus included and bacteria. These can contaminate such pumps and transmit an infection to you and your baby. Additionally, used pumps may not be efficient since their motors lose their strength and the seals wear down with time and can cause a loss of suction.

How to choose the Breast Pump (Type, Advantage and Disadvantage)?

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="1080"]

How to choose your

Breast Pump

(Type, Advantage and Disadvantage)?[/caption]

There are many types of breast pumps on the market. You will need a pump that is suited to your particular situation. Here is a guide in choosing which type of breast pump may suit your needs:

Hospital-Grade Breast Pump[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="892"]

Hospital-Grade Breast Pump[/caption]

Pumping sessions by half to just 15 minutes with a dual pump, that empties both breasts at once. They are made for users in hospitals and for moms who opt for renting. They are nonetheless expensive to purchase, but you can rent them from drugstores, hospitals, specialty retail stores among others.

These pumps are almost the size of a car battery and weigh 5 to 11 pounds. The hospital grade pump is able tocut pumping sessions by half to just 15 minutes with a dual pump, that empties both breasts at once. They are made for users in hospitals and for moms who opt for renting. They are nonetheless expensive to purchase, but you can rent them from drugstores, hospitals, specialty retail stores among others.

You can go for this option if nursing is hard because your baby has hitches latching on, if you think of pumping for less than three months from home, or if you need to dramatically raise your milk supply and require the power of a hospital grade pump.

Pros: They are quick and efficient. Most of them are also light, close to a midweight, personal use automatic pumps.

Cons: Despite some coming with a rechargeable battery plus an adapter for in-vehicle use, many are not accompanied by a separate carrying case.

Electric Breast Pumps

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="900"]

The best electric breast pump[/caption]

Midweight, Personal Use, Automated Breast Pumps. Normally no larger than a briefcase and weighing less than 8 pounds, these electric breast pumps basically are lighter and a little less efficient as compared to the hospital-grade brands. However, they are able to slash pumping time as they have powerful motor plus serious suction. Several personal-use automatic pumps have the suction that imitates the natural sucking of a baby, that basically start with fast, high-frequency suction and shifts to a slower, suck and swallow pattern.

This limitation promotes rapid milk flow, even though some pumps use a ceaseless vacuum, having self-adjusting suction settings. Sporadic action best mimics a baby as compared to a constant vacuum, and definitely easier on you too. Several models come enclosed in a black backpack that is suitable in case you are working outside your home. They are equipped with an adapter more often for your car use or a battery pack for use when not near an electrical outlet. Moreover, they may have all the necessary attachments not to mention AC adapter, lids, collection containers, battery pack, cooling element, detachable cooler carrier, and stands. Go for this option if you will be going back to work full or part-time and you want to pump during the day to keep up your milk supply and for missed feedings.

Pros: It is a fast and portable way to double-pump and fills up your bottle within minutes. Ideal for mothers planning to pump regularly.

The milk expression is quite more effective than other methods.

Allow a hands-free pumping option for extra versatility.

Most electric pumps come with their backpacks or carry bags with enough storage for storing your expressed milk cool.

Battery-powered alternatives make them mobile and highly convenient for active moms.

Double pumping greatly lowers the amount of time you require to pump making them less time-consuming and very efficient.

Cons: In case your purpose to pump only occasionally, it may seem more than you need. If carrying other items the pump can be a lot to lug. Are mains operated dependent on a plug socket, this can be difficult when you are out and about. A bit fiddly to sterilize Slightly expensive compared to manual breast pumps

Manual Breast Pumps[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="720"]

Medela manual breast pump[/caption]

These small pumps can help you initiate the suction yourself by squeezing a lever or bulb. There are several manual breast pumps available on the market. Piston style or cylinder breast pumps normally allow you to keep check of pressure and avert discomfort. Some manual brands can be operated by one hand and are easier to use and can be a fantastic option for moms at home or working from home. Manual pumps are also ideal in areas where electricity is not available.

Pros: Less expensive than electric models and doesn't require an electrical source or battery and can also fit easily in a purse or tote.

Cons: Slower than other pumps. Hands-Free Pumps

You can go for this option if you have a hectic routine and of the idea of multitasking while pumping. Many are rechargeable with a double electric pump.

Pros: You are able to pump while engaging in other tasks.

Cons: Setting up can be complicated.

In considering breast pump features, you need to think of how and where you will be using it. When you require one for an office, you will need something compact and quiet.

However, if you pump at the privacy of your own home, there are many breast pump features to look out for.

1.Suction Settings

The best breast pumps imitate the natural nursing rhythm of a baby by automatically pumping in two clear modes: rapid, to mimic a baby's quick sucking to initiate the fast flow of milk, and slower, to mimic the deep sucking of a baby to produce the most milk flow. These two modes jointly produce a more real breastfeeding experience with utmost comfort, raised milk flow, and faster pumping time. The "closer to nature" brands available on the market can claim to pump more like a baby. Some also allow you to self-regulate the pumping speed, rhythm, and suction promptly instead of overreliance on preset controls.

2.Adapter/Batteries

In case you are pumping on the road or you have no access to an electrical point, consider a pump that is able to function on batteries or that has an adapter that you can attach to your car. However, pumping while driving is not recommended as it can be a distraction on the road.

3. Carrying Case

For those mothers that will be commuting, a professional-looking pump backpack or shoulder bag can be an awesome way to go. Many models, excluding the hospital grade ones, are available in a chic, black microfiber case plus a shoulder strap. Other brands also feature a detachable cooling compartment and motor pump, to lighten your load.

4.Insulated Storage Compartments

Check for compartments in the carrying case of the pump in case you will be pumping on the go and want to keep your milk for later. However be sure to add ice pack in the storage compartment with your breast milk. 6. Pump weight

A breast pump of even 5 pounds can seem bulky after a while if you carry it regularly with other items too. If you have any lugs and you will be traveling often with your breast pump, acquire the lightest breast pump possible at your purchase range.

How to Use a Breast Pump (Breast Pumping instructions)

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="550"]

How to Use a Breast Pump[/caption]

Many women express their milk by making use of an electric or manual breast pump as it is faster and easier. However strange it may feel initially, it is normally a short process before long.

To use an electric breast pump, you need to put a breast phalange supplied with the pump over your nipple, switch the machine on, and allow it to suction your milk to an attached container.

The manual pumps also make use of a phalange, however, you extract milk by doing a squeeze mechanism or by pulling a piston with your hand rather than motor reliance.

The process normally takes around 15 minutes to pump both breasts using a good electric pump. For a hand pump, the process can take up to 45 minutes. Ensure you use the correct size phalanges for your nipples and adjust them just right to avoid irritation or pinching yourself.

Consider purchasing a hands-free pumping bra to avoid holding the phalanges on your breasts. Keep in mind that for a maximum letdown and milk production, you should be calm and relaxed. Remember to clean the pump parts properly after every session.

Breastfeeding is one of the basic activities in the whole baby naturing process and something that every mom looks forward to. However, it is often not possible to breastfeed each time especially for working moms and also stay at home moms. There are may breast pumps and some mums find a success with one type of pump than with others. In case you are preparing to go back to work, or you would love to be able to leave home baby-free or get some rest, having a good breast pump may be the way to go. It will ensure your baby benefits from milk even though you may not be around.

Comment anything about using the breast pump.

#baby #breastfeed #baby blog

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hari-writes · 6 years

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Three Sides to the Story - Chapter 20

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Pairings: Adrien/Marinette Marinette/Chat Noir Summary: It’s been almost three years since Adrien Agreste walked out of Marinette’s life. An accidental meeting at a party starts a course of events that will either drive them together or further apart. Meanwhile, Plagg and Tikki have had enough of their holders’ indecision and obliviousness.

Read on A03

***Fair warning, this chapter contains mature content.***

20th April

“What the hell, father? You didn’t give Marinette the internship, but you’re happy to have her work for free, under massive time pressure to make your damn fashion show run smoothly, then add to her already massive workload with your own personal projects?! You can’t refuse to give her a job, then use her whenever you need a favour!” Adrien stormed into his father’s office without knocking and, for once, spoke his mind.

Ever since he’d seen her broken on the pavement outside their friend’s apartment, since he’d discovered the cause of her upset, this had been brewing in the pit of his stomach. Seeing her various projects laid out in front of him in her room, realising how much extra work Gabriel was responsible for? That was the final straw.

All day, as his lectures felt like they were dragging on for hours longer than usual, he was raging at the injustice of his father not choosing the best contestant for his internship, but being content to pile ad hoc work onto her with no recompense. She was too kind to say anything about it, but he could see how much pressure she was under.

When the Gorilla dropped him off at the mansion, he marched straight upstairs and into Gabriel’s study.

“Her outfit was miles better than any of the other candidates and I heard all the interviews so I know she was the best overall. She’s a scholarship student at ESMOD, she has talent beyond her years, she’s worked damn hard to refine her skills and she more than proved her worth to you at that fashion show. So, what the fuck are you thinking?”

“Excuse me?” Gabriel asked.

Adrenaline was surging through Adrien’s body and he was determined to say everything he wanted to before he lost his nerve.

“When you opened our house to Marinette that summer, it was like we’d unearthed a fresh-water spring. She brought light and effervescence into this place and it felt like a home for the first time in years. I could see you finally starting to heal from losing mum… and then, I… I was egotistical and immature and I ruined it.” Adrien was on a roll, he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. “I know how angry you were with me, but don’t punish her for that. You’ve started believing your own reputation and you’re determined to act like the garbage person everyone thinks you are. You’re better than that. Marinette sees the good in you, you owe it to yourself to live up to her esteem.”

“I agree,” Gabriel said.

“...What?” Adrien managed to say.

“You are correct. Marinette was a welcome addition to our family life and I was angry with you for being so stupid and thoughtless that you pushed her away. She reminds me of myself at that age, before I let ego and this industry harden my outlook. She’s driven, but somehow manages to put others first, that’s rare. You are also correct that her competition entry was head and shoulders above the rest of the candidates. That’s why I invited her here to ask if she would consider working alongside the Artistic Director on the design elements for Gabriel’s new cosmetics launch. I also asked her to work for me full time to develop her own line of women's formal wear, under my personal mentorship, when she graduates,” Gabriel explained.

“You did?” His father nodded. “What did she say?”

“I don’t know.” Was his father smiling?! “You barged in here before she could answer.”

Adrien turned slowly on the spot until he was facing a red-faced Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

»»————-————-««

Marinette looked stern as she left Gabriel’s office. Adrien watched her walk smartly down the corridor before he called out.

“Marinette! Wait.” He implored.

As she spun to face him, her box pleat skirt flared out around her. It was pillarbox red with two black oversized pockets. She was wearing a cropped black turtleneck with it, leaving an inch of bare skin between the waistband of her skirt and the hem of her top. A black short line biker jacket and leather pumps finished the look.

Her expression was a mixture of annoyance and amusement.

Her presence was commanding. Head held high, shoulders relaxed, she carried herself with a quiet confidence that was pure Ladybug. She was a strong, capable woman and suddenly, Adrien wondered: would he ever be enough for a woman like Marinette?

»»————-————-««

When he stormed into his father’s office, Marinette saw a side to Adrien she had never witnessed without his mask; strong, forthright and assertive. If she squinted her eyes and pictured his hair a little more messed up, she could see Cat Noir in front of her. If she hadn’t already guessed his identity by now, she would have done at that exact moment. As a teenager, Adrien was obedient to the point of obsequious towards his father. Granted, Gabriel was an imposing man and Marinette knew how protective he’d been of Adrien growing up so she understood why he was so compliant. This new, self-assured Adrien was a revelation.

Now, though, he looked more than merely apologetic, he seemed small and uncertain. She didn’t want contrite Adrien anymore. She wanted the powerful man who managed to confront his father without wilting. The one who stood up for her despite knowing how Gabriel might react.

He loved her, she already knew that. He was willing to face Gabriel’s wrath to defend her, knowing he could lose freedom for doing so.

With adrenaline still coursing through her from her meeting with Gabriel, she acted on impulse.

Their lips smashed together as their tongues searched each other’s mouths. When her lips touched his, she felt urgency somewhere south of her stomach and she grabbed handfuls of his shirt to pull his body closer to hers. His arms snaked around her, holding her tight and she let out a soft moan. Adrien... Cat Noir… they became one in her mind. His taste, his smell, those lips. She could feel his skin against hers, feel him reach under her clothes, felt his touch.

She wanted him. All of him.

They staggered towards the wall and Adrien’s hand reached for a door handle. The pair practically fell into what turned out to be a store cupboard and Adrien shut the door firmly behind them.

Close quarters, darkness and privacy drove them onwards, kissing each other more deeply until that was no longer enough. She kissed his neck, grazing the skin with her teeth and revelling in his gasps. Pulling his shirt out from his waistband, she ran her hands up his chest before dragging her nails back down past his stomach. She pulled him towards her by his belt, holding him close.

“Mari,” He purred, “I’ve missed you.”

His expert fingers traced the exposed skin between her skirt and top before venturing underneath. His touch left her quivering in its wake. She’d missed him too.

“Take me.” She whispered breathily in his ear. She unfastened his belt while he processed the demand.

He scooped her up easily, placing his hands on her ass and lifting her onto a sturdy-looking stack of boxes. Adrien’s trousers and underwear were quickly abandoned as their breathing intensified.

His hands trailed under the hem of her skirt towards her upper thighs. Her panties were pushed to one side as he gently teased her and slid a finger inside her, eliciting a throaty gasp. It felt amazing, but she wanted more. Wanted all of him. Now.

“I- ah- need you.” She insisted and he wrapped her legs around his waist.

She moaned as he filled her. “Ah- Adrien!”

“I love you, Mari,” His voice was deep and silky and Marinette felt herself coming undone.

Linking his fingers in hers, he lifted her hands above her head. Holding them against the wall behind her, he thrust into her, slowly at first, his movements becoming stronger and faster as they neared climax.

She had to bite her lip to stop herself from crying out.

Eyes locked into each other. She looked into those green eyes for as long as she could until pleasure rippled through her body in waves, tensing every muscle and she threw her head back as her toes curled and spine arched. She clenched around him and felt his orgasm follow as his hands gripped hers tightly.

Breathing heavily, they rested their heads on each other’s shoulders, faces sweaty and hair tousled. They both needed a moment to come down, to compose themselves before Adrien spoke.

“Should we continue this in my bedroom?”

#ml fic #ml fanfic #miraculous ladybug #adrienette #marinette x adrien #my writing #my fiction #a03 fic #Three Sides to the Story

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joylee56 · 7 years

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Have You Tried Turning It Off and On?

For Ifishouldvanish; Happy RCIJ!

For the prompt, ‘Hey, you’re the jerk...’

Rating: Explicit; Also Lacey has a potty mouth.

“I’m pretty sure nurse maid isn’t part of my job description.” Lacey said.

“You’re the project manager. Babysitting is pretty much what project managers do.”

(part 3 of 3)

The afternoon before the regionals, a battered VW van pulled up in front of the pink house. Even before Neal clattered down the stairs and out the door, Lacey rolled her eyes and muttered, “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding. Talk about cliché.”

“Five bucks says that thing runs on methane.” Jeff came up behind her.

“No bet.” She told him. “Is Gold really going to let her drive his kid around in that thing?”

“At some point tonight I imagine he’s going to check the engine and the undercarriage, but, yeah, he’ll grit his teeth and let Neal go with her.” Jeff shook his head. “I never figured out what he saw in her. Alice claimed that the attraction was because she was a free spirit. Something Rum just could never be. Myself I don’t buy it. After his Dad the last thing Rum would want is someone unreliable.”

“What’s the deal with his Dad?” Lacey asked. “He talks about the Aunts who raised him, but he’s never mentioned either parent.”

“Mom split when he was a baby. Dad was a petty crook. The Aunts got custody of Rum when he was eight because Dad got sent up the river.” Jeff said. “And you have to get him really drunk before he’ll talk about his childhood before that.”

That explained his reaction when she told him about Dad.

The woman Neal pulled into the house was at least as tall as Rum. Dark curly hair like Neal’s was pulled back in a pony tail. She was darkly tanned in the way of someone who worked outdoors rather than a sunbather. Based on Rum’s comments Lacey figured her for early forties. She might be tall but it would not be long before all that sun made her look a lot older, Lacey thought snidely.

Jeff greeted her in his most erratic manner. Which since he’d just be speaking coherently to Lacey was clearly put on. “Milah, my dear, back from the seas. Any tales of adventure to impart?”

Without waiting for a reply, he added, “This is Lacey French our new project manager. Lacey, this is Neal’s mother, Milah… is it still Cassidy, Milah, or has your rugged Captain finally gotten you to the altar?”

“It’s Cassidy.” Milah’s smile was a little forced as she shook hands. Clearly Jeff’s antipathy toward the woman was mutual.

“Lacey’s been helping us practice for the competition, Mum.” Neal at least was happy. And missing the friction between his mother and Jeff. “And she makes the best Tea. With scones and custards some times.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Milah was giving her the once over and was not impress with what she saw Lacey could tell.

So she thickened her accident and told the other woman. “No worries. Neal and his mates are good kids.”

Luckily Gold appeared before the conversation went further. “Milah, you’re looking well.”

“And you look the same as always, Rum.” She responded. “Still dressing like it’s 1950.”

“The customers expect professional attire from someone who bills at the rates I do.” Gold said blandly. “Neal, why don’t you show your Mum her room and then we can have a nice cup of tea.”

“You want me to fix the tea?” Lacey asked as Neal took his mother upstairs. The boy was excitedly filling her in on his recent activities.

“No.” Gold sighed. “This is in no way your responsibility.”

“I was offering as a friend.” She told him. “Serve some of the scones I made for the kids’ snacks tomorrow. Nobody can say I don’t make good scones.”

“They have white flour and processed sugar.” Gold sighed. “She won’t eat them.”

Lacey made a mental note to be sure to send Neal care packages while he was gone.

After Neal had to run off to the last prep meeting before the conference. Gold served Milah tea in the kitchen. Lacey could not resist listening in.

They spoke for awhile about the summer plans for Neal and then Milah asked, “Where did you find her.” Her tone was accusing.

Yeah, well, I’m not real impressed with you either, lady. Lacey thought.

“Lacey? We really got lucky there.” She winced. When Gold was nervous he sometimes did not consider the subtext of what he was saying. Not that Milah was not clearly already thinking along those lines.

“She was working at Megacorp.” Gold continued. “When they closed their office here we were able to hire her. She’s fantastic at keeping Jeff on track. Better than I ever was. And she doesn’t mind at all having the kids underfoot while we’re working. Neal has really taken to her.”

“Good strategy.” Milah said. “Cozy up to the kid.”

“It’s not like that, Milah.” For the first time Gold’s voice took on an edge. Good he was finally standing up for himself. “And even if it were, you lost the right to comment on it ten years ago.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just she doesn’t seem like your type.”

“She’s smart, efficient and kind to my son. All of which rate high in my book for both a co-worker and a friend.”

Lacey rode to the regionals with Jeff and Grace. She decided Neal did not need her and his mother at odds before the competition. The Team did pretty well, considering their inexperience.

At the end of one extremely difficult round, Neal pulled out a win by correctly answering a geometry question he and she had practiced for what seemed like hours.

“Alright!” Lacey shouted. Pumping the air with her fists.

Then she remembered that nobody else was as much as clapping. Neal was looking embarrassed. Damn.

The moderator looked amused. “That your Mom, Neal?”

“Uhm, no.” Neal muttered. “That’s Lacey. She works with my Dad.”

“She helped us prep.” Morraine put in loyally. “She made flash cards and drilled us.”

“And she makes the best scones.” August added as if it explained everything. “She’s Australian.”

Which it kind of did. Back in Sydney the audience would have been a lot less stodgy.

In the end the team placed fourth. Which was not high enough to get them a place at the National event, but did leave them the team to beat next year. They did not seem too disappointed.

The first day after Neal left with his Mother, Lacey brought food to work.

“What’s that?” Gold asked.

“Neal made me promise to look after you while he was gone. So I figure I better make sure you get at least one healthy meal a day.” She held up her casserole. “Chicken curry. I’m not sure it will be as authentic as your neighbors in Glasgow used to make, but Dad swears it’s delicious.”

Gold frowned. “I don’t need a minder.”

“According to Neal you loose track of time when you get programming. I’ve seen you do it so don’t deny it. And Jeff’s working short days while Grace is out of school so you’ll have no one you need to keep on time for.” She pointed out. “So either humor me, or I tell Neal. You don’t want to spoil his summer worrying about you do you.”

“You are a very evil young woman.” Gold told her. Then, “Fine. But we’ll split the cooking. And you’ll share the dinner every day. I suspect you live on noodles when you don’t eat here.”

So they started having a nice sit down dinner every mid-day. They generally cooked enough to feed Jeff and Grace when they were about. Since most often they were not, that made for left overs for Rum to have for supper.

It occurred to Lacey that she was spending more time with Rum than she had with any number of boyfriends. And enjoying his company more. He was a friend she decided and refused to think about it further.

Or she tried not too. Her friends were not making it easy.

She worked late one night writing the help manual for the program. When Rum caught her falling asleep at her desk he told her, “Go upstairs and crash in the guest room. You’re no good to us exhausted.”

Jeff had already arrived when she made it downstairs the next morning. He took one look at her in yesterday’s outfit and exclaimed. “Well it’s about time. I thought the two of you were going to dance around each other forever.”

“I just crashed in the guest room because I was too tired to drive home, Jeff. It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Of course not.” He smirked. “However the two of you want to play it, little doily. Just know you have my blessings.”

They were getting close enough to finished to start thinking about how they were going to start their marketing efforts. Once again her buddy Google came through with an answer. She excitedly told Gold about it.

“I’ve been looking into it and we should announce Vizeercalc at the big computer conference in Vegas end of the month. Not only would we get a good shot at some publicity from all the tech reporters looking for material, but we’ve basically got our target market as a captive audience. I managed to sweet talk the organizers into giving us a presentation spot. It’s Friday morning, which isn’t a time most companies want, but it could actually work for us cause that will give us the rest of the weekend to hit up distributors and sell product. Isn’t that great?”

Gold did not look like he thought it was great. If anything he looked slightly nauseous. “A presentation? At the Vegas conference? There are thousands of people at that thing.”

“Well, I doubt we’ll be lucky enough to have thousands attending our presentation. Although you never know, if we can get enough buzz going we might get one of the large conference rooms. Which would be great.” Lacey enthused. “We’ll need a demo and to work on what you’re going to say.”

“What I’m going to say?” He now looked actively ill. “No. Oh, no. I couldn’t. I’ll put together a demo for our booth and talk to the distributors, but I’m not doing a presentation.”

“Well, we can’t expect Jeff to do it.” Lacey pointed out. “The guy’s barely coherent on a good day. I’m not sure we should even take him to Vegas. It’d upset his routine too much.”

“Well, I’m not doing it either.” Rum stated. “Call them back and cancel it.”

“What?” Lacey was near losing her temper. “Do you have any idea how much sweet talking and butt kissing I had to do to get us on the schedule for a presentation?”

He was rubbing his fingers together. “I don’t care. I’m not doing it.”

Then it dawned on her what the problem was. “You afraid to speak in front crowds?”

“I didn’t even like to give reports at company meetings.” Rum admitted. “Alice used to do them for me. I’m okay sitting off to the side and answering questions, but to be the center of attention like that… I just can’t.”

“Could you answer the technical questions if I did the actual talk?” This was too big a chance for them to pass up. “I mean you’d have to write the speech for me, but I did some acting in high school. I can memorize a script. I just can’t answer the questions.”

“I could do that.” He agreed.

So she booked them. And nearly had a heart attack when she saw the cost of the hotel. “Rum, the hotel wants to charge us as much as my rent for two rooms for three nights. What would you think about sharing a room?”

Gold blinked. “Uhm, that it would violate Golden Hat’s Sexual Harassment policy.”

“Since when do we have a Sexual Harassment policy?”

“Since you came up with the idea of us sharing a room.” Gold retorted.

She had to snicker. “I promise not to harass you.”

“Still, pay for the rooms with my personal credit card.”

She manage to get adjoining rooms. Because they were going to have to coordinate a lot of stuff and that would make it easier. “But don’t worry. You can lock your side at night to make sure I don’t ravish you.”

Jeff had snorted at that. “I don’t know why you’re bothering to pretend at this point. Neal’s not here to keep up appearances for. Not that he hasn’t figured it out.”

So Friday, the first morning of the biggest computer conference in country, Lacey strutted out onto the platform set up as a temporary stage. Wearing a tight short black skirt with a white silk blouse, and a pair of black four inch pumps. Regina had helped her pick out the outfit. They decided to err on the sexy side of 'professional but sexy'. “Because chances are most of the guys there are more familiar with what professional women wear in the movies than in real life.” Regina had pointed out.

She had done a social media blitz that had gotten their presentation upgraded to one of the larger conference rooms, and it was full. With people standing in the back.

“Hellooow, Vegas!” She waved out at the crowd. “Are we having fun yet?”

There was a weak murmur from the audience. “Oh, come on, mates. We're in Vegas. Is any place more going off than this?”

They had all decided she would stress her accent. Rum had muttered something about. “It will be more memorable.” From the way Jeff smirked it was clearly an inside joke between them.

The audience laughed at all the right places in her presentation, so she figured it went pretty well. Rum ran demos of the program in real time on the screen behind her and answered the technical questions from the audience. Surprisingly there were a lot of non tech questions she could answer.

Like “Why do you call it Vizeercalc?”

“Because the original version was developed while our head programmer was working at Enchanted Software. As many of you may remember all of Enchanted’s programs had names with a fairy tale connections.” She told them. “It’s a visual calculator hence Vizeercalc.

“And our lawyer says changing the names and getting new trademarks is a whole lot more trouble than learning to live with some silly names.” She grinned. “We’ve decided its going to be a feature of Golden Hat’s new product line.”

“Are you going to re-release Enchanted’s Daggerquest:” The next guy in line asked.

Lacey did not remember that one. Gold just shrugged at her. “Well it wasn’t in the top ten programs we’re updating for release. But if there’s a demand for it we’ll get round to it eventually.”

“You have to re-release Daggerquest.” A woman in the third row spoke up. “I loved that game as a kid. If was one of the few games at the time that allowed you to play a female character.”

“And it had the best puzzle’s. It took me weeks to figure out how to get past the Wyrm on level 12.” Another voice spoke up.

Clearly they needed to do some market research and not just rely on Jeff’s preferences. “We’re going to be putting up a poll on our website as to what you’d be interesting in seeing brought back. Check it out in a couple of days and tell us what you think.”

“That actually went pretty well.” Gold told her when they finished the question and answer period and were back at their booth. “Be sure to let Jeff know you’re going to be adding a poll to the website. And be sure to make them give you their email so people can’t vote multiple times.”

“I knew the minute I said that you’d dump it on me.” Lacey sighed. “At least it will give me something to talk about in the next couple of blog posts.”

About mid afternoon Lacey got approached by an Asian man in a suit who bowed and presented her with a card. Not knowing what else to do she returned the bow and gave him one of her brand new cards in return.

Which seemed like the right thing to have done because he smiled broadly. “A pleasure to meet you, Ms. French. I saw your presentation this morning. Most informative. I was curious to know if it would be possible to adapt your program for use on our game machines?”

She glanced at the card. Holy shit. Somehow she kept her smile. “I imagine so. Let me get our head programmer and he can address the more technical aspects.”

Gold was running a demonstration showing off a bunch of Greek letters for a couple of professor types. She dragged him away, inviting the professors to experiment on their own.

“Nintendo wants to know if if you can get Vizeercalc to run on their game machines!” She hissed in his ear.

“It already does.” Rum informed the Nintendo guy calmly. “Or at least it works on the Switch. I set it up for my son to use for his homework. We don't have a Wii so I've never looked into what that would entail.”

It seemed that Nintendo would be delighted to supply him with the developers kit and a console for him to do so. They set up an appointment to discuss the details of getting the program marketed through the Nintendo game shop the next afternoon.

After the guy left Lacey sank into a chair. “You freak out a the idea of doing a presentation, but Nintendo wants to make a deal and you're cool as a cucumber. Rum, you're killing me here.”

“It's just another marketing company.” Rum shrugged. “They're always looking for new product. We won't make as much on the ones they sell as the ones we sell ourselves but the volume will probably make up for it.”

Lacey made a cup of tea to settle her nerves and did an internet search to see if anybody had any good advise for bargaining with Nintendo. Gold went back to his professors.

Who both ended up buying a copy. “They want to know if we'll give an institutional discount if they can talk their IT department into buying the program for the Uni.” He reported back.

“We need to discuss that tonight when we call Jeff. I'm inclined to, but we need to decide how much.”

After that they closed up the booth and went in search of dinner, neither of them being particularly inclined to try any of the restaurants in the hotel. “I like sushi as well as the next girl. But I’m not eating it in a state that’s landlocked.” Lacey declared.

They ended up at a Mexican place off the strip recommended by the taxi driver. Lacey restricted herself to one beer in the knowledge that they were going to be hitting a lot of parties tonight to mingle with distributors.

Rum tried the horchata and rather liked it. “Reminds me of the way I used to make tea for Neal when he was a wee one. Enough actual tea for color and the rest milk and sugar.”

“You do drink don’t you? Cause all of these ‘hospitality suites’ are going to be offering booze.” If he kept any liquor in the house it was well hidden.

“I’m a bad Scotsman in that regard.” He admitted. “I mean, I enjoy a good whisky, but Jeff and Alice were the only ones I’ve had to drink with since Milah left and since the accident Jeff can’t mix alcohol with his meds, so a night out on the town has been Granny’s for ice cream of late.

“Usually when I go to these business functions I get a beer and stand around holding it.” He explained. “Nobody pays attention to whether you’re actually drinking or not and that way I don’t have to suffer American beer.”

“This Mexican stuff’s not bad.” Lacey took a sip. “I mean not up to Guinness standards, but it’s better than the fizzy water that passes for beer here in the states.”

Rum proved to be as bad at networking at the hospitality suites as Lacey had expected him to be. She took to leading him around and only bringing him into the conversation when there were technical questions she did not know the answer to. This appeared to suit him just fine. He even periodically fetched her drinks. Although she noticed that the drinks got mixed weaker and weaker as the evening progressed.

They had their best luck at the Newegg hospitality suite. Lacey did not even have to complete her pitch before she got passed on to a marketing specialist. They left with a packet detailing their options for selling through Newegg and an appointment tomorrow to discuss terms.

“I like the looks of the premier package.” Gold commented as he looked through the packet. “And the commission they charge seems quite reasonable. Are we done for the night? I’d like to get some sleep. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow between manning the booth and meeting with both Nintendo and Newegg.”

Lacey checked her list. “Yeah, we’ve done all the heavy hitters. We can talk to some of the smaller folks tomorrow after our meetings.”

Their adjoining rooms came with a connecting door. Lacey got ready for bed and was about to turn off her light when she noticed the light was still on in Gold’s room.

In deference to Gold’s shyness she knocked on the door and called out, “Rum, you decent?” before pushing it open.

He was seated at the table with his laptop. “Damn it, Rum, you said you wanted to get some sleep. If you stay up all night programming you’re not going to be good for anything tomorrow.”

“I just wanted to unwind a bit.” He glance up at her and then quickly looked away.

The over-sized tee shirt she was wearing to sleep in covered more of her than many of her daytime outfits. He had no reason to be bothered.

The reverse was certainly not true. He was wearing a snug tee shirt and a pair of loose pajama pants that showed off the muscles of his arms and shoulders and lean hips.

It was not like she had not admired the fit of his tailored slacks, but she was getting quite an eyeful here.

Get a grip, girl. This is business. “Don’t make me take away your computer. If you want to unwind watch some TV. I’m sure the hotel has a porn channel. Believe me, if Jeff notices it on the bill he’s not going to complain.”

Gold blushed. “He’d probably cheer.” He muttered.

“Exactly. Now get to bed.” She shut the door firmly on the way back to her room. It was almost tempting to offer to watch a porno with him just to see how embarrassed he would be.

And a small part of her would kind have wanted him to take her up on it.

The meetings with Nintendo and Newegg went very well. Nintendo wanted them to come back Sunday and sign a contract. They sent off the draft to Regina for her review. Which got a text in return. “You do know it’s Saturday don’t you?”

“She just likes to snark.” Gold said. “She’s enjoying all this. It’s exciting compared to the patent and employment law she usually does.”

“Not to mentions she’s billing us $400 an hour.” Lacey pointed out.

“It’s worth it. She’ll make sure the contracts are on the up and up.”

After lunch they were back working the booth, when a big athletic fellow that topped Gold by half a head suddenly walked up to him and slapped him on the back. “Rum! Good to see you. How the hell have you been?”

The slap knocked Rum forward a step and Lacey could see him fighting to keep his balance. She was close enough to grab his arm and help him.

“Mr. Hordor.” Rum nodded briefly at the larger man. “Uhm, very well, thank you. Lacey, this is Mr. Hordor. He was Alice and my manager when we worked at Ogre Inc. Mr. Hordor, this is Lacey French, Head of Marketing for Golden Hat.”

Well that was true in the sense that Gold and Jeff passed off all the marketing stuff to her, but the way he said it made it sound like she was his boss or something. And wasn’t this the guy that Jeff disliked because of the way he had treated Alice?

Hordor was delighted to meet her. And they exchanged small talk for a few minutes before he got down to what he really wanted. “I’m with Dark Computer now, you know.”

“I hadn’t heard.” Rum was not looking the guy in the eyes.

“Yeah. We make custom built computers.”

Which they marketed at a price that made Dell look reasonable. But they mostly sold them to companies like Megacorp that needed specialized or outdated equipment. She had researched them when she was writing her proposal back at Megacorp.

Hordor when on, “I’ve been telling everyone about this program you’re marketing. Looks a lot like that one you worked on at Enchanted. I always thought it was a real shame Ogre didn't do more with that, but the powers that were had a ‘vision’ of how their programs were suppose to interact and the stuff you and Alice wrote just didn’t fit in a lot of the time. Left me caught in the middle as the hatchet guy.”

“It was a long time ago.” Gold murmured.

“And now you’ve got the chance to market it yourself.”

They were not making any secret of Vizeercalc’s history. “We’ve made some significant updates to it, but the basic principal is the same.” Lacey said, since Gold was not saying anything.

“It looks like a real decent little program. Anyway we’d like to set up a meeting tonight to talk about bundling it with our system. Say seven o’clock?”

“Yes, of course.” Gold told him.

After Hordor left, Lacey turned to Gold. “Are you nuts? Jeff would have our scalps if we agreed to do business with that guy. And Dark Computers has an awful reputation for how they treat their suppliers.”

“Oh, if I can pull this off I think Jeff will love the deal.” Rum smiled wickedly. “We’ll need to get you properly prepared though. I’m going to write you another script.”

In the end they set up a chat on their tablets. There were too many variables for her to work off of a script so Gold was going to prompt her from his tablet. They lucked out and they were seated at a table so he could hold the tablet on his lap and hopefully the folks from Dark Computing would not be able to see what he was doing.

Lacey once again ran through her presentation. Cutting some of the broader jokes since the audience was a lot stodgier.

At the end the guy in charge, a Mr. Zoso said. “Hordor was right. This would be a useful little program to add to our bundle. What sort of licensing fee are you asking?”

“I’m afraid we don’t license our programs.” Lacey smiled sweetly.

They had actually discussed this when they worked out their fee structure. Gold’s comment had been. “After all the trouble to get it, I’ll burn the source code myself before I’ll let anybody else get there hands on it.”

“What we can offer you is an arrangement whereby you give your customers a confirmation code allowing them to download the program from our site. We provide all the customer service. You don’t have to do any installation and you only pay for the program for those customers who actually download it.”

She went on. “And because of Mr. Hordor’s prior relationship with Mr. Gold and Alice Milliner we are prepared to offer you our Antiqam plan.” She brought up the slide Gold had hastily put together while she studied for the meeting. “As you can see there is a sliding scale base on number of units sold. You’re the only one we have offered this deal here at the conference.”

Mr. Zoso barely glanced at the slide. “We’ll want another twenty percent off that. After all we’re a major computer supplier. Having your product distributed with our machines will increase your name recognition immeasurably.”

Gold texted. ‘Agree 3 years’.

“I think we could do that.” Lacey said it reluctantly. “We would need a long term commitment at that rate. Say five years?”

Zoso looked smug when he talked her down to three. They signed a summary of the agreement and promised that Regina would get a contract over to them first of the week. Hordor walked them to the elevator. “This is great. I knew we could put a deal together when I heard it was you.”

“Indeed it worked out very well.” Gold answered.

Once they were alone on the elevator, Lacey said, “I still don’t think we should have called it the Antiqam plan. What if somebody who speaks Arabic sees it?”

“I very much doubt a company like Dark Computing has anyone in management who speaks Arabic and the tech people who do aren’t going to be inclined to translate it for them. Their employee relations are even worse then with their suppliers.” Gold was grinning. “Let’s call Jeff and tell him the good news.”

They found an unoccupied corner of the hotel bar to make the call from. Lacey told the server. “We just cut a big deal and we want your best bottle of champagne.

“Well your best under a hundred bucks.” She added. “It wasn’t that big a deal.”

The server, clearly used to tech nerds, suggested, “I’ve got a very nice Cava Brut that is much better than any champagne we have in that price range.”

“As long as it has bubbles bring it on.” Lacey told her.

By that point Gold had told Jeff about the sale to Dark Computing. He put his phone on speaker so she could hear the response. “Are you out of your fu… freakin’ mind?! Making a deal with that… thug.”

Apparently Grace was still up.

“We even gave him the special Antiqam deal.” Lacey told Jeff sweetly. “Minus twenty percent that is.”

“Antiqam? I don’t remember any Antiqam plan.” Jeff said.

“That’s because we put it together this afternoon.” Gold told him. “It’s our standard vendor sales package except we tripled all the prices.”

There was dead silence for a minute. “So we’re selling them the right to distribute Vizeercalc to their customers at...”

“With the twenty percent discount they’re paying us forty percent more than we’re charging our retail customers.” Rum was grinning wickedly again. “And they’re going to be promoting it as a special perk to all their corporate customers.

“Antiqam is Arabic for revenge.” Gold explained.

“Oh. Oh!” Jeff started to laugh. “It’s perfect. Alice would have loved it. You’re hitting them where it hurts the most, their bottom line, and Hordor will probably never realize he’s been had.”

“At some point I imagine somebody at Dark Computing will check our website and realize they’ve been had. At which point they’ll stop distributing it, but until then we should have a very nice income stream.” Gold said.

The wine came and Jeff joined in a drink over the phone. He treated himself to a can of Dr. Pepper.

Lacey toasted. “To Dark Computing, may their due diligence always be as sloppy as it was today.”

Jeff came back with, “To the best deal makers and partners a guy could have. Enjoy the rest of the conference guys, you’ve earned it.”

After they hung up, Lacey commented, “We forgot to tell him about Nintendo and Newegg.”

“It can wait until we get home.” Rum sipped his wine. “He’s too excited about the deal with Dark Computing to take those in anyway.”

“And rightly so.” Lacey poured herself a second glass. ““You were such a badass today. I didn’t know you had that kind of sneaky in you.”

He shyly bowed his head. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Lacey. You’re not who I thought you were when we met. I’m sorry for judging you like that.”

“I don’t exactly go out of my way to correct the impression.” Lacey told him. “But I misjudged you as well. You’re not that shy little nerd. Or not just the shy nerd and I’m glad.”

That brought on the cutest little shy smile. “I’m glad I got you fired. Otherwise you wouldn’t have come to work for us and we’ve never have gotten to know each other.”

“Finally you admit you got me fired.”

He shrugged. “Like Jeff says, I was in the chain of causation.”

What the hell. They were in Vegas. “We need to celebrate!”

“I thought we were.” Gold smiled some more as he raised his glass of wine.

“Really celebrate.” Lacey tossed back what was left of her wine and grabbed the bottle to take with them. She grabbed Rum’s hand with her free one. “C’mon.”

“Where are we going?” He asked as she pulled him to the elevator.

“Your room.”

“M-my room?”

“Well mine’s got all the stuff from the booth piled all over it.” She explained. She let go of his hand. Running hers up his chest. “Unless you’d don’t want to?”

“Uhm, how much have you had to drink?” He asked.

“Oh, come on, Rum. You seriously think two glasses of wine is enough to make me tipsy?” She laughed. “It’s very responsible of you to ask, but I am more than capable of giving consent. How about you? I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you in a drunken state.”

“I’m definitely feeling light headed.” He bent down and dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. “But I don’t think it’s the wine.”

“Great.” The elevator had made it to their floor. “Hold that thought while we get somewhere more comfortable.’

Once they were in his room she pushed him against the door and proceeded to kiss him properly. He was a surprisingly good kisser. She had her hands in his hair and was plastered against him when he pulled back for a minute. “Uhm, maybe we should, uhm bed?”

“Good idea.” His leg probably wouldn’t take a standing position.

She kicked off her heels as they headed for the bed. Once there they went back to kissing.

After several moments of very nice kissing, his hands started to wander. First to her waist and then up to cup her breast. “That’s nice, but I prefer you play with my nipples.” She told him. Sitting up she pulled off her top.

“Quick rubbing to start with, but once things get going light pinching is good too.”

Rum blinked at her and then smiled. “As you wish.”

He was good at following instructions. It did not take long before he had her bra off. Then his mouth joined his hand. She was getting wet and they did not even have all their clothes off. She started to remedy that by getting rid of his tie and unbuttoning his shirt, but could not get the shirt off lying like this. “Cuff links? You wore a shirt with French cuffs to a convention?”

He sat up and undid the cuff links, dropping them on the night table. This gave Lacey a chance to get his belt undone and go for his zipper.

“Uhm, I don’t have any...”

“Condoms? Pretty sure I’ve got a couple in my purse.” She had dropped the tiny bag she was carrying next to her shoes. “Yep, I’ve only got two though so we’ll need to plan ahead.”

“While I appreciate the compliment, I doubt that will be an issue.” He looked a little embarrassed.

“No worries.” She sashayed back to the bed and proceeded to slide out of her skirt. She figured he would enjoy removing her knickers. Besides they were a pretty blue lace. “I’m not picky as long as I get off at some point.”

“I shall do my best.” He smirked slightly.

This was fun. Most men were way too serious in bed. Especially the first time.

They got rid of Rum’s shirt and trousers so they were down to a level playing field. He went back to her breast to make up for the interruption.

When she started wiggling her hips his hand slid down to play with the edges of her knickers. “How do you like to, uhm, get there?” He asked.

“I don’t generally come just from fucking.” If he was going to ask, she would certifiably tell him. “Not without some stimulation before hand.”

“Fingers or would you like me to… uhm, use my mouth?” His voice trailed off.

For a shy guy, he did not seem to have much problem getting to the point. “If you’re offering oral, I’m not turning it down.”

“I rather like to.” He sounded embarrassed, but he was scooting down the bed to get level with her hips.

Together they pulled off her knickers. He kissed up the inside of her thighs, and then on to her folds.

“Yeah, that good.” She encouraged. As he tongue came into play, she squeaked.

“Good?”

“Fuck, yes! Don’t stop.” She was really learning to love that wicked grin he got.

He added a finger to what he was doing. She was rapidly losing the ability to concentrate. One thing she was sure of. “Rum, fuck me.”

At some point in the proceeding that she had missed he had already gotten the condom on. It took only moments to crawl up the bed and line them up. He slid into her slowly gauging her reaction.

Their height differences left them nicely face to face. She slipped her arms around his back and encouraged him. “That’s good. Keep going.”

His thrusts were too slow to start. But at, “Faster please.” He picked up the pace.

“Oh, God, Lacey. You’re so… It’s…” He kissed down her neck.

Words were overrated at this point. She wrapped her legs around his butt and crossed her ankles to get some leverage to push back against him. She was getting close. She could feel the pulsing that started her orgasm. “Yeah, like that.” She tightened around him as she came. Pulsing harder now. Her breath matching the pulses and making her light headed.

She crested and rode the end of the pulsing. Rum had stilled, but was still hard inside her. “Okay?” He asked.

“Fine fucking tastic. Go ahead.”

He kissed her some more as he got his rhythm back. He seemed to like her tightening her legs as he thrust, so, now she tried to match him. Even after her own finish he felt good pushing and then retreating. She was a little sorry when he lost the rhythm and finished.

He pulled out and rolled over before he softened enough for the condom to get loose. A gentleman to the end. She handed him some tissues from the nightstand. He used them to wrap the condom, but did not get up. Instead wrapping his arms around her and snuggling next to her side. “Thank you.” He whispered.

“I’d say it was a mutually beneficial experience, but your welcome.” She found she was smirking. She ran her hand up his back and found some scratches. “Crap. Did I do that? I’m sorry.”

“It actually added to the experience.” He admitted. “I didn’t realize I was into that.

“Uhm, will you stay?”

She found herself yawning. “For awhile. I don’t think my legs are up to carrying me back to my own room anyway.”

She was pretty sure he was still awake when she dozed off herself.

Something tickled her nose. She squirmed a little to get away.

“Lacey,” A voice said softly. “Lacey, you need to wake up. It’s 8:15.”

That brought her awake. Rum was sitting next to her on the bed. Shaved and dressed.

“8:15! We’re supposed to meet Nintendo at 9:00! I’ll barely have time for a shower and check out is at 11:00!” She jumped out of bed.

“I’ve got all the equipment packed up. You just need to get ready for the meeting.” He told her as she headed toward the door connected to her room. “And I’ve order breakfast. I hope a fry up is all right?”

“Sounds great.” She was famished. Apparently taking Rum to bed brought on an appetite.

He had not only packed up the equipment but had started putting her things into her suitcase. She grabbed clean undies and jumped into the shower.

There was not enough time to dry her hair properly, so she pulled it into a messy up do that suggested ‘I’ve been up to naughty things in Vegas’ without actually looking cheap.

She only had one clean outfit left so dressing required no decisions. She was just finishing her makeup when Rum knocked on her door and announced. “Breakfast is here.

“I ordered you a large juice. And uhm there’s aspirin if you need it.” He gestured toward the table.

“After a couple of glasses of wine? Rum, we didn’t even finish off that bottle. I’m fine.” She did down the juice. She was thirsty as well as hungry. Last night had been quite a work out is seems. “How about you?”

“Leg’s stiff but it will walk out.” He smiled shyly at her. “Otherwise I feel better than I have in a while.”

“Do you good to...” Something about the way he was looking at her caused her to do what she rarely did and censor her comment. Instead of ‘get laid’ she said, “...Let down your hair occasionally.”

The Egghead rep texted about meeting with them while they were signing papers with Nintendo. Which made them late and they had to rush to make their flight. So it was not until the flight took off that they had any time to themselves. Rum was rubbing his fingers together like he did when he spun.

Great. She was probably in for a ‘talk’. She really did not want to hear him ‘let her down gently’. He would probably use Neal as an excuse.

At least he bought her a beer before he started. “Uhm, so about last night? Was that a one off, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas or uhm, are we… dating now?”

That did not sound like he was bailing on her. “Would you want to? Date I mean.”

He ducked his head, but was glancing at her from behind his hair. “Yeah. Uhm, but if you don’t I’ll understand. And not let it effect our work. You’re too… important to the business now to let… personal issues… confuse things.”

So at least she did not have to worry about her job if she turned him down.

Thing was she had come to like Rum. He was a friend. And last night had not been half bad. Any man who offered oral without prompting was probably trainable.

“I wouldn’t mind trying things out.” She decided. “I’m not promising forever or anything, but we can see where things go. If you want.”

“I’d like that.” He took her hand. And held it even after he dozed off with his drink only half finished.

It was incredibly cheesy, but Lacey let him keep holding on. Even going so far as to move his drink so he would not spill it accidentally while he slept. He probably needed the sleep. He was not used to the late nights they had kept at the conference.

And looking after programmers was what a good project manager did. It had nothing to do with the fact that he looked kind of cute sort of half curled around their joined hands.

Cause she was not sentimental school girl. Nope. Not her.

The end.

#Ifishouldvanish #Rumbelle Christmas in july #Have You Tried Turning It Off and On #rumbelle fic #rcij

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taekwonduh · 7 years

Text

Don't Forget, Pt. 1

Summary: “It is okay if you do not remember me, I can do the remembering. But in a world where I hold absolutely no place in your life, not even as the girl who knew your name before your face, I think it would be a place too cruel to live in.”

Characters: Jungkook, (she/her) Reader, Taehyung

Tags: Angst, romance, food for thought

Memo (Prologue), Pt. 2, Pt. 3

Dreams have always ensnared you.

You would become a prisoner to the unconscious ventures that never dared make themselves known outside the confines of an alternate reality. Dreams to you were exactly that- an experience that was otherworldly, one that was an outlier to the life you lived here.

It was from a young age that you recognized dreaming meant something entirely different to you than it did to your peers. To them, dreams involved fantastically impossible occurrences like sausages with four legs (a literal sausage dog!), or something more plausible yet still equally unattainable as marrying the student one had a crush on but never once spoke to.

Your dreams were always platonic. It illustrated what appeared to be an ordinary day in life, except the life was not entirely yours. You would see the few same faces, in contexts you’ve never been in, yet still convincing enough for you to believe it could happen. Things were always real, but also always slightly altered. One too many times you wondered if these dreams could be another person’s life in a parallel universe.

Whatever happened in these dreams, you would quickly forget upon waking, but the emotions inflicted upon you were absorbed, retained, like water to sponge. And more often than not, it negatively affected how you went about the day, for the dreams your subconscience conjured were always filled with pain. You could not for the life of you decipher the source, but it was safe to assume that this pain was deeply rooted, it laid silently in the hours of the day, in the shallow breaths you took and the steps you walked. And in the moments you were weakest, it would stem and bloom, blinding your eyes, muting your ears, silencing your throat to any form of comfort or solace that those who took note of your deteriorating positivity would try to offer.

The weight of seemingly living two lives at once bore on your shoulders.

And it was in this particular dream that you learned you must choose one.

The water is bitingly cold, within a bath of murky cerulean, suspended and motionless, you observe a disfigured blob of yellow, from which the strongest rays of light refracted beyond, just barely reaching you. But unlike floating to the top with buoyancy, your body instead sinks deeper, where the blue turns multiple shades darker and the temperature would freeze you to death before the lack of oxygen could.

A voice comes to you distant, muffled and slightly muted beyond the surface of the water. Though not all words the voice carried is clear to you, one thing is:

Its’ desperation.

You then find yourself struggling, kicking and paddling with every fiber of strength not already lost to the cold in order to inch closer to the surface, to the source of this cryptic voice that sprouts familiarity in you despite it being, as far as you can recall, your first time hearing it.

Wherever the hell you are, I hope you finally remember everything-

And I’m going to publish this stupid book of yours-

The whole world will-

remember you.

You break through this dream gasping.

With each fervent breath your lungs pump, feeling and awareness return to their rightful places. The reignition of the parts of your body feel entirely foreign, like the heart racing between your ribs is not yours, the blood rush, the dots behind your eyes- it was a homecoming to a home in which you do not quite belong, yet still had evidence of your occupation.

The cerulean ceiling you stared helplessly up at all but moments ago is now replaced by a pristine white glow that have your eyes screwing shut the moment you open them. As your body gradually adjusts itself to the present, the delayed realisation of a warmth applied to the back of your hand reopens your eyes, drawing your gaze down to where a head of black hair lays face-down just adjacent to the position of a broader, warmer hand resting, with just enough tenderness and protection, atop your own paler, bonier one.

“Jung-”

The word dies on your tongue the moment something in you shatters, and you lose sight of the thing you had been trying to grasp. All you know is that it is now out of reach.

You spend the next moments in dazed brooding, the sinking in of reality punctuated by the consistent beeping of your heart monitor, until you are interrupted at last when the boy at your bedside stirs and awakes slowly. It does not seem at all odd that the first thing he does is check on you, and you do not flinch when his eyes instantaneously widens, lower jaw falling loose as he rises from his plastic chair in dramatic slow-motion to take a closer look at you. As if you’ve popped right out of a dream.

As his face inches closer, the memories become clearer. Something akin to a firework subsequently explodes in your chest, but this display is nowhere near beautiful nor romantic- it burns and tears at your insides, forcing slates of a tragic incident you wish you had forgotten into a reel of memories that once again begin to spin.

“Alive…”

This husky croak is yours to emit, just barely, tongue and roof of your mouth like sandpaper scratching against each other. It feels like many years ago when it happened- the scene currently projected on the front of your skull- but the pain aches fresh, like yesterday’s cut.

What do you mean he’s gone…?

“Yes, Y/N, you’re alive! God, you really had us all worried to wits’ end!”

“No, you…”

“Oh, what am I doing! I better get the doctor to look at you! Your mum will be so relieved.”

Listening to your groggy ramblings is no longer a priority on the boy’s mind, having lost out to the need to ensure that your long awaited awakening did not bring any further complications. He presses buttons, checks your stats, and soon a doctor and his entourage of nurses trail in, bringing up the rear is a shaken and hopeful, frail-shouldered woman- your mother.

“My, you’ve caused quite a stir early in the morning, Y/N! But we’re glad you’re back. I’m Doctor Park, your attending for the past two weeks. So far, do you have any trouble comprehending all I’ve just said?”

“No.”

“That’s great. Now let’s run some tests and catch you up on all that you’ve missed!”

Your results come out normal. In fact, they have been for the past two weeks. There had been nothing too physically wrong with you, the doctor had told your mother that you just needed time. So the only difficult fact to swallow now is that you have all your long-term memory intact, but no recollections whatsoever about the incident leading up to your bedridden, semi-comatose predicament. The boy seems quite anxious to fill you in, but at the same time, he too appears to have questions to ask once you had been left in private by the adults.

With the party gone and atmosphere of the room returning to the distilled, almost dream-like serenity it had been in the first moments of your waking, the boy grows visibly more somber. A sigh leaves him the moment the door to your four-bedded ward clicks shut, and he shuffles over with lead footsteps, sinking into the plastic chair he gave up to your mother earlier on.

He sits hunched, elbows to his knees, large hands cupped over his nose and mouth. He seems to mull over a plethora of conflicts, irises flickering with microscopic hesitation and anxiousness throughout his wordless ponder. Likewise, you find yourself pulled under a wave of thought, digging and piecing together an equation you cannot yet figure out, because the variable, your accident, is still undetermined.

When he removes his hands to wrap them around yours, that mystery begins to unravel.

“Why did you do it?”

You have not one clue the true meaning behind his question, but from the pinch between his brows and the minute sagging of the corners of his lips into an afflicted, disappointed and worried frown, it is reasonable to guess that you have committed an act that hurt him.

The lack of response prompts him to pose a supplementary question, the grip he has on your hands tightening along with it, as if you might once more slip away from him into indefinite unconsciousness. “Why were you at the pier?”

You do not hesitate in answering. The memory is all to easy to retrieve- almost embedded in your skull.

“I was looking for you.”

“Y/N, if you don’t remember, or if you just don’t want to talk about, tell me. Just don’t lie to me.”

“But I’m not-”

“Why would you be looking for me at the pier? We promised to meet by the school gates at eight-thirty sharp. You said if I were even a second late, you would pretend to not know me even if we managed to get into the same class in high school.”

You said that? This account does not add up with yours at all. The more he divulges about the variable, the more it starts to prove something wrong- but which is it? His memory… or yours?

Considering you had just woken up from two weeks in semi-coma, both he and the adults would surely refer your confusion to a memory-scramble of some sort because of the incident. The incident which, until now, you still do not have a clear idea about.

“Tell me what really happened, Tae.”

The boy drops his head, tips of his black bangs dusting over your forearm. He takes a deep, shaky breath before returning to look at you, his hands tighter than ever around yours.

“You jumped, Y/N, from the pier. Someone saw. He saved you. Called an ambulance. Why did you…” His last words come out strangled, perhaps the result of a throat closing in on itself, emotional lump wedging itself stubbornly at the pipe. Along with this heartbreaking sound, his eyes slip into a glassy, teetering state, shimmering and swimming, threatening to overflow. “Why did you do that?”

You didn’t.

The story is all wrong.

It was you, Taehyung, it was you who jumped. I was just-

“- looking for you.”

“What are you talking about?” It was like he’d heard a sparrow’s crow come out from your mouth; he is almost hysteric now, eyes searching for some sort of back up to your carelessly blurted response, but you are unable to provide him so. Your own head begins to swirl, progressing rapidly into a whirlwind of fear and anxiety and despair the longer he holds you at point-blank for answers.

“Sorry, I’m tired. Can I rest? Maybe after I get some time to think, I’ll be able to sort my thoughts out.”

It makes no sense at all. You’ve been sleeping for two weeks, and no longer than half a day since you’ve woken you were asking for a chance to go back to sleep. It is surely unfair to Taehyung, but even if he felt that way, he does not raise the matter, for he simply nods and releases, regretfully, your hand from his.

The boy stands, picks up the blanket from around your waist and drapes it gingerly over your chest. He does all this and says his next words without being able to meet your eye, in a voice so defeated you barely pick it up, “For a while now you seemed to bear the weight of something unimaginable, you never told me about it, but you didn’t think I’d be dumb enough to not notice a change, did you? I would hate you for the rest of my life if I had to find out about whatever was troubling you through a suicide note, so don’t write me one if you decide to kill yourself again and no one’s there to fish you out from the lake. If you ever do something like that again… the least you can do is tell me yourself.”

There is not much you can say, the act was not yours to commit, and this you are sure of. But when you look at him, when you listen to the plea in his voice, the fear, all you can do is hope that Taehyung finds it within himself to forgive you. The last thing you want to do is hurt a boy who’d only ever wanted the best for you, for everyone but himself.

“Please don’t be mad.”

Your timid mumble catches him a third’s way out the room. The teenager halts, shoulder slouched and head hanging, and returns, “I’m not mad. I was just… scared. I’ll come back later in the evening. Get some rest.”

Mrs Kim? Yeah, it’s me. I was just wondering if Taehyung has left the house yet?

He’s… what?

“Y/N? It’s okay, don’t cry, stop crying, I’m right here. It was just a dream.”

Dreams are always like this. It clings stubbornly to your back even after you had fought out of its’ deathly grasps, and you bear this weight until the next time you fall back into it, hoping that you’d be able to wake up without feeling completely shredded.

“Taehyung- God.”

“Shh, you’re okay.” Your ward, which would be your residence for only two more days, is now turned down, a single bedside lamp emitting a warm, homely orange glow in the otherwise pitch black room. Taehyung remains in the plastic chair by your side, his hand over yours, eyes glazed with concern that should have been for himself. “You were crying in your sleep. What were you dreaming about?”

“I was-” The recount is ever-ready to spill, memory still fresh in the forefront of your mind. But much like being suddenly stripped naked, the words dissolve on your tongue, and the blankness that soon overcomes you does not quite amount to the apology you feel that you are abruptly incapable of sharing such a minor, yet intimate, account with your closest friend. “I… don’t remember.”

But Taehyung does not seem as offended as he were earlier in the day, he merely relaxes his posture, lips curving into a smile of familiarity as he nods resignedly. “Again, huh? You never remember your dreams. Every time we talk about it, you can’t quite figure out what you dreamt of.”

“I never could remember my dreams?”

The boy shakes his head. “Nope. But you tell me that the one thing you do know about them is that they felt real. Like, I don’t know, you were still living it in even after you’ve woken up.”

“Did I ever say why?”

An infant frown begins to take shape on his face in the form of pinched brows and pursed lips as he pauses momentarily to recall. “I’m not sure. But wouldn’t it be because the emotions you felt in your dream lasted even after it was over? It’s like that for me. Especially when I have nightmares. I feel antsy and paranoid the entire day. Maybe that’s the case for you, except it’s not just limited to nightmares.”

If Taehyung’s reasoning is the case, then whatever your dreams might have been about, they were painful. They tore and ached so bad that they made you grateful it were only a dream.

It would be much too cruel for a person to live it out.

“Is my mother okay?”

“Yeah. In the beginning she was too worried to eat, but my mum made sure to deliver her some side dishes and eat with her every day. I only came to see you after making sure she was asleep. She’ll come tomorrow, first thing. My mum will take her.”

“I’m sorry…”

“What are you sorry for, silly! Before we are friends we are first and foremost neighbours. It’s what neighbours do. We gotta look out for each other.”

This mention elicits a small, reminiscent smile from you. “You’re right. We were neighbours.”

“Were? Sweetheart, you still live a stone’s throw from me. Don’t tell me you forgot! Doc said your long-term memories are supposed to be fine…”

This time, it is your hand that tightens around his, your fingers that curl between his own thicker and longer ones. This act silences him completely, and he falls into a frequency of wordless understanding and appreciation that only years of a solid friendship could have helped develop.

“I could never forget.”

“So,” It is obvious that his upturned tone of voice is an attempt to lift the near-tangibly thickening mood. Carrying your entwined hands in order to rest them affectionately in the palm of his other, he leans forward with a half-cheeky grin that you more than recognize, “You ready for high school?”

“High school?”

“You did miss your own graduation ceremony and cost me mine as well, but the school delivered our grad certificates to our homes, along with placement letters for high school. You may have slept a third of vacation out, but high school still starts in a month’s time, whether or not you almost got yourself killed.”

“Taehyung…”

“Don’t Taehyung me. I’m going to keep a closer eye on you from now on. You may not want to tell me about the things tormenting you, but I deserve to do at least that. As your best friend.”

“If our roles swapped, would you let me do the same for you?”

“If our feelings about the other is the same, then… I think I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want to worry you, or burden you, so I’d keep things to myself. I also wouldn’t want you to feel like you have to dedicate more time and effort into making sure I don’t do silly things. But it’s not like you’d care right? You’d go ahead and watch out for me even so. Because you love me the same way I love you.”

“What kind of love do you think we share?”

“The kind that is self-destructing.”

Two weeks is never that long of a time, but returning to the little offwhite house with a grey roof feels like a homecoming after years away. Almost the entire neighbourhood is on your unkempt lawn to welcome you back as you hobble out the taxi, weak-kneed and relying almost completely on Taehyung for support.

There’s the old lady who ran the minimart at the street corner, just someways off the middle school you attend, or used to attend, with Taehyung. And the young couple who drives their food truck all over town and sells the best red bean bread you’ve ever tasted, even the twins who lived across the minimart have come, wearing identical power ranger outfits, who look like they’ve gotten a little bigger in the mere two weeks you have not seen them.

“Welcome home, Y/N!”

There is no popping of confetti or blowing of party horns, but the grandeur is the same, like a scene in a movie! Big welcome parties brought crowds, and crowds are never your thing no matter how familiar you are with the people inthat crowd. After having only encountered these people individually, who each occupied and anchored a separate, iconic part of your mind much like they did in the neighbourhood, it feels almost out of this world to have them together in once place.

But amongst all this, and you feel sorry to your other well-meaning guests, there is one person you want to see more than anyone else present.

“Y/N!”

“Mrs Kim…”

Entering her embrace is like throwing yourself into hellfire, and the inexplicable sorrow that bursts forth from the confines of your ribs is already half-expected before arms even come around your shoulders. There are multiple possible reasons why this is the case- one could be that you were just thankful she had taken such good care of your mother when you could not. Another is that you felt immensely indebted for a reason aside from your mother, a reason you could not put a finger on no matter how hard you searched internally.

All you know is that you feel immensely sorry.

Perhaps, like many other situations in which you find yourself caught in a twisted sense of deja vu, it is owed to the dreams you concocted and never remembered. Maybe in one of your dreams, you have done something to hurt her terribly.

“Taehyung, help her inside. We have a feast to dig into!”

“And all-you-can-eat red bean bread for dessert!”

With knowledge that food would be present (word spread fast in a neighbourhood as close-knit as yours, but not as fast as the delicious aroma of Mrs Kim’s famed home cooked food), there are suddenly a lot more guests showing up than what you saw in the beginning. Your and Taehyung’s mother, and every other woman in your house that ever held that title, make sure to feed you only the most nutritious dishes, barely stopping themselves when Taehyung, at your prompting, said that you’d throw everything up if they fed you any more.

And with that you manage to escape to your room with the twins and Taehyung, leaving the adults to their merrymaking in the lounge, where you bide the time by allowing the twins to watch cartoons on your laptop. Taehyung naturally occupies the space beside you on the bed, where he sits slouched against the wall, legs dangling off the edge of your bed as he scrolls through social media on his phone.

“You think we’ll get to witness any high school drama when the term starts?”

“I dunno, Tae. I’m worried about the commute. It’s an hour by train every morning. Why don’t we have a high school in our town?”

“Maybe because we can count the number of kids at high school age with one hand?” And Taehyung is right. Your town is by no means small, being ambiguously located right between the city and the real countryside, but it is dominated largely by elder folk. The younger generation would have gone off to the city to start a new life by the time middle school was over, the ones who finish high school in the town would also have left after that. Which makes people like the young food truck couple so rare.

“Will you leave the town after high school?”

This question has Taehyung pausing from his phone mid-scroll, thumb hovering over a photo of a student in the school uniform you commonly share, posing with a bouquet and certificate. When you watch him from the side, he seems to stare wistfully at the twins, who sit like little owls, small enough to both fit into your computer chair, as they watch their cartoons. “I think my mum would want me to. I’d probably find myself leaving sooner or later. The town’s perfect for retirement, but to spend the next forty, fifty years of my life stuck here? Nah. Don’t think so.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that.” That you plan to have many years ahead of you.

“Wait, you are?” The boy quickly straightens his posture, now sitting cross-legged with his body turned entirely toward you, a look of astonishment on his face. “I thought you’d at least question my loyalty to the town if you weren’t already mad at me for wanting to leave.”

“Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know… We grew up here together. Without it we wouldn’t have met. I thought you’d be mad at me for wanting to leave something so special. But what about you? Would you leave?”

“I’m not sure yet. I can’t really picture myself anywhere. Maybe I’ll have a better idea after high school.”

Just as Taehyung parts his lips to respond, a soft rap on your wooden door snatches the attention of two, yours and his, while the twins remain peacefully in their own world.

“Boys, it’s time to go. Everyone else has already gone, you can watch cartoons at home.”

It is the twins’ mother, who gives you and Taehyung a warm smile before assuming a stern position for her own kids. You thought that she only said everyone had left to pressure the twins, but when there is hardly a sound coming from your living room down the stairs apart from the soft laughter that you recognize to be your mum and Taehyung’s, you know the party is already over.

The twins, by Taehyung’s assurance that they could come here and watch cartoons again the next day, hop off the chair and trudge reluctantly to their mother’s awaiting arms.

“Oh and darling, here’s your mail. Your mum asked me to hand it to you.” In response to the twins’ mother reaching a hand full of envelopes out, Taehyung automatically clambers off your bed to receive it, knowing well that your mobility isn’t completely at its’ finest.

With your thanks, the three of them depart, and Taehyung tosses the stack of mail, mostly envelopes and one thicker parcel, at the foot of your bed.

“You should go too,” you say, sliding the stack closer to you, “Tell your mum to leave the cleaning to us. She’s done so much for us already.”

“By us you mean to your mum? Your legs are still weak. You can hardly walk, much less clean. I’ll go down and speed things up.” The boy throws on his jacket, his collar gets snagged at the back of his neck, but you don’t say anything about it. “See you tomorrow, or later, if I can.”

“Okay.” Your response is mixed with a suppressed chuckle, though Taehyung makes nothing of it and leaves the room, the sound of his hopping down the stairs echoing after him.

Once alone, you reach into the drawer of your desk to retrieve a spare house key, which you use to cut open the envelopes. The two of it, both from your middle school, contain your final grades, your graduation certificate, and high school placement. According to the older kids, the school always assigns their students from this town to the same high school, Haesan, which is the nearest one at an hour away by train.

Your grades have always been mediocre. You don’t fail anything, and sometimes excel in the subject you take most interest in during the academic year. You should feel more excited about school, but it all feels repetitive and predictable, and there is an unidentified parcel waiting for you to get your hands on.

The package caught your attention the moment Mrs Han arrived at your door. Wrapped in grey plastic, typical of postage coming from outside your area, the parcel is about an inch and a half thick, solid, and weighs a good amount in your hand. The outline gives it away as a book, and for a moment, disappointment catches you when you think it might just be the school yearbook (you always find a way to look mightily off-point in the photos, so it’s not exactly something you look forward to receiving anymore).

Nonetheless, you poke a hole through the plastic and rip it open wider from there. It first relieves you that it’s not the yearbook, and instead a tan leather cover. You assume it could be a book delivered to the wrong address, but your name on the delivery sheet stuck on the plastic proves you wrong. The condition of the book is another argument against your initial assumption as well, for it looks like someone’s old possession- the leather is flaking off at the spine, tattered edges, yellowed pages, paper sticking out in the wrong places. When you check for a return address, you are hardly surprised to find none. Someone out there had every intention to mail it to you, but what was that intention?

Shaking unnecessary suspicion out of your mind, as well as the frown that had taken form on your face, you resign to finding out more by tearing the plastic further downwards. A set of gold letters printed on the cover reveals itself. A breath jams in your throat, something crawls down the back of your arms, and your heart breaks.

‘MEMO’.

#btswriters #btsmaknaenet #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jaeworks #jungkook #bts angst

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