#also need to learn more about his wife cuz she seems awesome too
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The memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant are much more interesting when supplemented with other sources, because this guy is so modest and matter-of-fact that he completely forgets to tell you how awesome he is.
The chapter about his West Point education includes stories like, "I did well in math and was terrible in most of my other subjects", "I hoped I could leave the army and get a job as a math professor somewhere", and "My neighbor made fun of me when I wore my uniform in my hometown." Not a single word about the fact that he set a West Point equestrian high jump record that stood for twenty-five years! Or that the academy had a horse so wild that they were going to put it down until he chose it as his mount and tamed it. Or that he had been doing dangerous bareback horse-riding stunts since the age of five. There is an entire Wikipedia page about how amazing he was at handling horses, but you would never know based on how he writes about himself. You expect a guy to gloss over the bad stuff in his life (there's not a word about alcohol), but the way he glosses over his achievements is mind-boggling.
#history is awesome#presidential talk#please read the link because it is delightful#it made my weekend#between this and the lincoln bromance and some stuff i glimpsed on his main wikipedia page this man may be on the way to blorbo status#his legacy is complicated to put it mildly#but i like him as a person so far#and as president he prosecuted both pornography *and* abortion which is worth major points#also need to learn more about his wife cuz she seems awesome too
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Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 29 (10/09/21)
so Pearl is still filling in for Joker and yes I did watch seven out of eight POVs for this session, that’s why this quotes thing is so long :)
...
Evil: I forgot how to play this game.
Endless: Go to electrical and die, Evil. That’s how you play the game.
...
Skizz, entering electrical: Look at all these idiots in here.
Endless: Hey! That’s not very nice.
...
Endless: I remember how to fix wiring. It’s not that hard. Can I do [shields] from here? I can. I did it. I figured it out.
Etho: Good job.
Endless: Thanks. Thanks, Etho!
Etho: I never stopped believing in you.
Endless: Your praise means everything to me, dad.
*pause as Endless walks away*
Endless: He’s not my dad.
...
Impulse: *reports a body*
Impulse: Okay just hold on, I can do this. Ready?
Skizz’s voice in a clip: DANG IIIIT!
Impulse: Did you guys hear that?
Evil: Yes.
Brody: What is that?
Impulse: That was the last thing I heard when I caught Skizz red-handedly killing Mrs Tango.
*people laugh, then pause*
Skizz: I don’t like you.
...
Impulse: Tango wanted to die so he could fix his overlay.
Tango, dead: I DID NOT! YOU’RE A LIAR!
Impulse: Someone did him a favour, I think.
Tango, dead: >:(
...
Evil, in a monotone: I have wires to do.
Skizz, snorting: World’s most bored electrician.
Evil, slightly less monotone: More wires.
...
Astro: I also want you to know that I didn’t kill you, on purpose. Cuz it’s your birthday. But that was your one round of-
Endless: Not my birthday. My birthday was-
Astro: It was yesterday.
Endless: -hours and hours ago.
Astro: It’s still technically your birthday somewhere.
Endless: I don’t think that’s how time works, but okay.
...
*last round, Endless spent a long time with Astro but didn’t kill him despite being imposter*
Astro: Alright, Endless. This time, you can kill me.
Astro and Endless: *laugh*
Astro: Don’t throw me off like that. I thought you were all i-
Endless: *kills Astro*
*pause*
Astro: ...thanks, Endless. Thanks. *laughs* Well, I can’t complain; I DID ask for it.
...
Skizz: Now if I die, you know it’s Etho (pronouncing it Eh-tho).
Etho: Hey now.
...
Impulse: Oh whoops, I was muted that whole meeting.
Tango: Aha! Exactly what a killer would say.
...
Astro, a ghost: Hey Evil, did you know that Impulse’s bone is not- not well right now?
Evil: *snickers*
Astro, a ghost: See I KNEW you could hear me, you imposter!
...
Pearl: Did you have a neutral role?
Impulse: Yeah, I was jester.
Pearl: Ahhh. Cheeky nugget.
...
Brody: Tango. Two people saw you leave the corpse of your wife.
Tango: So what? Where is the corpse of my wife?
Brody: Where is the corpse? Two people saw you, are you really gonna try that?
Tango: I just passed you in the hallway! Nothing was there!
Pearl: He’s gonna play dumb, it’s okay.
Impulse: He’s still mad that she threw out his spices when they moved.
Tango: IT’S THE OLD BAY, MAN! IT’S THE OLD BAY!
...
Endless: It was Tango in O2 with the lead pipe- No, that’s not- Different game.
...
Etho: I was with Brody and Astro but I’m… invisible, apparently.
Astro: I- I said there was somebody else! I just wasn’t going to say something that I thought might make you seem suspicious.
Etho: It’s been happening a lot and it’s a little weird, but okay.
...
*after the meeting*
Astro: I’ll notice you next time, Etho.
Etho: Okay, thank you. That’s all I want.
...
Skizz: It’s the purple guy!
Endless: It can’t be the purple guy!
Evil: It CAN be the purple guy.
*votes are revealed, Endless is ejected*
Endless: D’aww, you guys don’t even know how- that’s… stupid.
*everyone laughs*
Skizz, laughing: “Your Honour, this is very dumb”
...
*everyone skipped except Endless who voted for Impulse*
Endless: I got your number, Impulse.
*pause*
Astro: What’s his number? Four? Eight? Nine? Six?
Evil: Two.
Endless, at the same time: Seven.
...
*Etho claims Tango killed Evil but can’t say how he knows for fear of assassination*
Endless: So you saw it on admin and then came down to report it? Is that what that was?
*pause*
Etho: Exactly.
*animation of Etho shooting himself plays*
Etho: DANGIT!!!
...
Etho: Where we going, Tango? What we doing?
Tango: I’m going to my grave is where I think I’m going.
...
Astro: Hey, Mrs T?
Mrs Tango: Hi?
Astro: I need you to do something really suspicious.
Mrs Tango: Okay.
...
*after Impulse crashed out of the game but his body is reported*
Skizz: That was the most epic kill yet. It happened IRL.
...
Tango: Dead, disconnected. It’s all the same thing.
Pearl: For one, you get cut in half, but the other, you just go “poof”.
...
*Etho is suspected of being executioner against Brody*
Tango: So Etho, you’re saying there’s two imposters alive. Who do you think is the second one?
*pause*
Etho: That, I don’t know just yet.
Tango: An executioner wouldn’t need to know that though, right?
Etho: Maybe Astro.
*long pause*
Astro: What?! Why have you gone from Brody to me all of a sudden?!
...
Brody: Astro, please don’t kill me.
Astro: I would’ve killed you long ago.
Brody: That’s not true. You love me.
Astro: Not after you accused me of-
Brody, chuckling: I haven’t accused you of anything.
Astro: You accused me of breathing heavily earlier and I’m offended by it.
Brody: You did, though.
Astro: I can’t help that the air quality here is… dog crap.
Brody: I know you well enough. I know you well enough to know when you’re, like, concentrating.
Astro: Not my fault that I can’t breathe here right now.
...
Etho: [Brody] killed Impulse on the first round. It made [Impulse] crash. And then [Brody] reported the body. Next round, he killed another person and did another report. He’s a- He’s a self-reporting… Brody.
*everyone laughs*
Evil: This is the best you’ve got, Etho?
...
Evil: So here’s the question for everybody: do I tell Skizz what his minor tell is or do I keep it to myself?
Skizz: You zip it! You got nothing!
Tango: Keep it to yourself. That’s part of the fun; we can all learn each other’s tells.
Astro: You mean like when somebody has heavy breathing when they kill somebody, Brody?
Brody: Oh.
Astro: I’m gonna have extra heavy breathing when I kill you. Extra… EXTRA… heavy breathing.
Brody: ...I’ll remember that.
...
Skizz: I finally kill the banana and instantly I hear him be all “you crashed my game!”
Astro: Wait, so when I said that if Impulse rage-quit it was Skizz, I was actually correct on that?
Skizz: You were right, yeah.
Impulse: Wow…
Endless: Skizz was like “if you’re not gonna rage quit, I’m gonna rage quit for you!”
Skizz: I killed you so hard your game crashed. That’s a KILL right there.
...
Brody: Yeah, I’ve been actually watching her teleport. Like “wait, did she come out of that vent??” No, she’s teleporting around.
Tango: Hacks!
Pearl: Speedies!
Astro: The hacks are Australian ping.
...
Astro: Hey, Evil.
Evil: Hi. Are you gonna kill me?
Astro: Do you want me to or do you want me to let you live?
Evil: I’d like to live, thank you.
...
Evil: *runs into electrical and finds only Pearl in there*
Pearl, singing: Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose.
Evil: I’m done with my tasks.
Pearl: *kills Evil immediately*
Astro, a ghost: *laughs* You got killed to Christmas music, Evil.
...
Astro, dead: Hey Evil, how did it feel to get Christmas carolled as you were being killed?
Evil, dead: She took the happiest time of the year and destroyed me with it!
...
Pearl: I’m gonna go kill Etho. Shhh.
Giant Skizz, in a deep voice: You do it. Rock and roll.
...
Mrs Tango: My cooldown was so long and nobody was alone.
Astro: It’s okay, Mrs Tango. Your speedy laggy Australian friend was killing all the people.
Pearl: I literally told Skizz I was gonna kill Etho and I did exactly just that.
...
Brody: I cleaned [Etho] out of a vent and I didn’t know you could even do that but here we are.
Endless: That’s awesome!
Brody: I mean- I knew it, I knew you were in there, Etho. Sucker.
...
Endless: I know of one person who didn’t do the kill.
Skizz: Who?
Endless, whispering: Me. I was downloading in weapons.
Skizz: You’re not gonna vouch for yourself. That’s not how justice works.
Endless: Oh. My bad.
...
*Astro and Endless win as imposters*
Endless: What did you do, Pearl? What happened there? Did you try to sheriff Skizz?
Pearl: Yeah, I wanted to take a stab. I was the sheriff. I thought it might’ve been Skizz.
Astro: Ohh, YOU got the last kill, Pearl?
Pearl: Yeeaaahh. That was me.
Skizz: THAT’s how we died? Cuz Pearl sheriffed the wrong person?
Endless: It gets better than that. Pearl asked me to move away so she didn’t accidentally sheriff me.
...
Impulse: We getting double killed in here?
Brody: Hopefully.
...
Brody: I’m voting for Tango; he’s having too much fun.
Evil: Tango’s not allowed to have fun, we know that.
Tango: Shut that down, yeah.
...
Pearl: *votes for Brody*
Brody: Pearl. Why do you hate me?
Pearl: I just have reasons.
Skizz, to Brody: Don’t tug at THAT thread.
Brody: Would you like to tell people about those reasons?
Pearl: Not particularly.
...
Brody: Mrs Tango, do you want me to put like a poster of me in your new office? Of just me looking at you?
Mrs Tango: Uhhh…
Evil: Only if you’re wearing the pink hat.
Brody: ONLY the pink hat. That’s it.
*pause*
Evil: Okay, that… that got awkward.
...
Astro: So would you like to know a good story? It’s a fun story.
Etho: I would love to hear a good story right now, Astro.
Astro: The fun story is that Mrs Tango thought that the comms were out and she wouldn’t get revealed walking away from her archnemesis, The Endless’s body.
Tango: Well then I’m not voting for her at all, even if she did kill him, cuz that’s good by me.
Etho: Ohoo…
Evil: WOW.
...
Astro: Mrs Tango, you basically won the round; you killed Endless, so…
*everyone laughs*
Etho: That’s all we can hope for in the world, right?
Tango: You kill Endless, you pretty much win, right? That doesn’t matter.
*pause*
Etho: Love you, Endless.
...
*Brody and Mrs Tango win as imposters after Brody framed Evil*
Skizz: Evil, I’m so sorry, dude!
Evil: No you’re not.
Brody: I’m not sorry. I needed that in my heart. I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry whatsoever.
...
Impulse: Come watch me scan! Wanna watch me scan? C’mon! Watch this! It’s gonna be the best. Come watch.
Astro: No, because I know what you’re gonna say and I’m not gonna stand for it.
Impulse, hopping on the scanner: I’m not gonna do it, I’m not gonna do it. But that was- that’s legit. You saw that?
Astro: You’re a little to the left.
Impulse: I’m not gonna say it. But you’re gonna kill me anyway, so I might as well say it.
Astro: You need to go to the right.
Impulse: Did you watch me scan?
Astro: You’re a little- You were-
Impulse: Watch me nae nae.
Astro, laughing: -a little far to the left.
...
Astro: I was coming from lab. Somebody was nae-naeing over there.
Impulse: *giggles*
Astro: Won’t say who, but somebody was.
Impulse: There’s only one person here who does that.
...
Astro: I’m gonna come back cuz I don’t trust you.
Brody: *scoffs* Okay.
Astro: You murdered me last time!
Brody, deadpan: I wouldn’t do that to you. That doesn’t sound like something I would do.
Astro: Right in front of Evil and everything. I couldn’t get through the door.
Brody, deadpan: I wouldn’t do that to you.
...
Endless: Hey, I’ve gotta fix the- I’m rebooting the wifi, sorry if it goes down. For a few minutes. Or A minute. Or until I come back here and, uh, reinitialise it.
Brody, walking away: Endless, do you ever just stop talking?
Etho, laughing: Ouch.
Endless, following Brody: Hey, Brody. Let’s hang out, SIR.
Brody: *laughs*
Endless: How’ve you been, Brody? How’s your evening going?
Brody: I’m fine. I’m fine. Are you gonna kill me?
Endless: Are you always a jackass?
Brody: Usually, yes. Are you gonna kill me or what?
Endless: No, I don’t- I can’t kill you. But next time. Next time.
...
Endless: I’m definitely going to take a break so that I’m the last one back, and that’ll teach them to leave me here to entertain you.
Pearl: Okay. Enjoy your water consumption.
Endless: That’s very sweet of you. I appreciate that. You enjoy whatever consumption you’re doing as well.
...
Skizz, being ejected: You can’t be mayor and imposter, can you?
Tango and Endless: No.
Skizz: Well, I’m all sorts of twisted.
Tango: You’re all sorts of dead.
...
*after Mrs Tango assassinated engineer Etho*
Mrs Tango: I super appreciate you calling Etho out for being the engineer.
Etho: I didn’t appreciate it.
...
Astro: I can tell you one thing: Etho’s not the engineer this round.
Etho: You don’t know that for sure.
Astro: Oh I think I do.
...
Astro: Hey Impulse.
Impulse: Yeah?
Astro: I just scanned. You know what else I did?
Impulse: *gasps delightedly* You didn’t!
Astro: I…
*pause*
Astro: Nah, I’m not gonna say it.
...
Impulse: *reports Astro’s body*
Impulse: So. Astro scanned. But he did not nae nae. Just saying.
Endless: I don’t think that’s how the song goes.
Impulse: So I came to give him a stern talking to. But his body was dead.
...
Skizz: I’m doing my tasks.
Tango: Your task is to assassinate.
Skizz: That’s right, baby. And I’m coming for you next.
Tango: Mhm. Bring it.
...
Astro: I can vouch for Evil cuz he watched me scan, Impulse watched me nae nae, and-.
Impulse: Oh no. You’re gonna die now.
...
Skizz: Impulse sampled the Skizz!
*pause*
Impulse: Ew.
...
Brody: I’m not sorry I voted for you, Endless.
Endless: Well, I’m glad that Mrs Tango didn’t.
Brody: It’s cuz she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. I will hurt your feelings.
...
Endless: I knew I got that wrong. Dangit. Simon Says- I blew it- I screwed it on the last…
Brody: ...what?
Endless: I feel like this should be the last game. I just…
Tango: Are you having a nervous breakdown? What’s going on?
Endless: Yeah, a little bit.
...
Endless: I voted for you, Brody. Cuz I hate everything about you.
Brody: Thank you, buddy. I’ll vote for you also.
...
Pearl: Who we voting for?
Brody: Endless.
Endless: Brody.
Tango: Why are we voting for Endless? Or Brody?
Endless: Because Brody’s a jerk.
...
Pearl: This is awkward, cuz Tango was trying to get me to kill him.
Tango: Do NOT pin that on me, my fair lady!
Pearl: No no no, I’m not.
Etho: Ooooh this is spicy :D
Pearl: I’m pinning this on Skizz. Skizz just decided to walk by-
Tango: Oh, okay. I’m good with that.
...
Brody: Etho, c’mere. Come here. That’s the second time you’ve ruined my fun.
Etho: Were you sheriff?
Brody: No. Don’t Starve- I say that and you ruin my fun and then Christmas music and you kill me. I just- Why do you hate me?
Etho: I- I was just backing up my partner, y’know?
Brody: Look, if you don’t wanna play Don’t Starve, you just say “hey man, I’m not into it”. That’s fine. See, you just say that.
Etho: I like Don’t Starve.
Brody: Evidently not with me.
...
Endless: It’s Brody’s fault for sussing me on that one.
Brody: It’s not my fault you’re dumb.
...
Impulse: Keys or you’re sus!
Brody: Keys or you’re… Impulse.
Endless: Hey, I’M Impulse.
...
Astro, dead: Hey. Your wife killed me.
Tango, dead: Good. Evil and Mrs Jerkface.
#friday night stabby quotes#friday night stabby#impulsesv#tangotek#skizzleman#etho#pearlescentmoon#astrozoan#mrstango#theendless#evilnotion#brodyman
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Instinct
A/N: *rubs my filthy hands together* This is a VERY self indulgent fic of mine with one of my various kinks... Also takes place during a weird timeline in IW and Loki has been informally accepted as an Avenger.
Summary: Astrid KNOWS that now is not the time to bring up the idea of having a child. She also knows how Loki feels about it; he does not want children. With everything going on in the world, why was she even thinking about this?
Thanos is still looming over the Avengers at an uncomfortably close distance, and strange creatures have began to invade earth. Unfortunately, these creatures happen to be from Jotunheim...
Warnings: 🔞🔞🔞 VERY SPICY SMUT, breeding, dubious consent, impregnation, etc...🔞🔞🔞 DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18!!!🔞🔞🔞
The very first time Astrid had ever brought up the idea of having children in the future with Loki, was also the last time. In fact, the prince seemed rather upset that she would even bring up such a topic. He had given her a very firm “No.” but never gave any clear validation why he was so against the suggestion. Astrid decided it would be wise not to bring it up again despite her desire to give him a family. His cool opinion of her devotion made her heart ache. She thought that maybe he would be at least open to the idea, but his habit of closing off had won that argument.
It wasn’t that Loki did not want children, it was more of his inner turmoil and who he was. After his haunting fall from the Bifrost, the prince never even thought he would be breathing today. Since his brainwashing, he had concluded that fatherhood would never be within his prospect. This final result was all thanks to the lack of fatherly love from Odin, having learned the truth of his origins, having been unwillingly controlled, what he could do, and now? What now? There was no research of a mortal and Jotun ever creating life together and scarce information of an Asgardian and Jotun doing the same. Loki would not risk his wife’s endurance for something that could quite possibly kill her. He finally found something beautiful through his hardships and he was not willing to let her go. As much as it hurt him to see Astrid suffer in silence about it, he would rather be safe than sorry...
“It has come to my attention that a seam has torn through our world by something to let these massive beasts in and destroy everything in sight.” Fury stated, glancing to Thor and Loki who were standing to the left of the round meeting table. “It is also to my understanding that you have dealt with these things before, and that your brother is of their particular home planet.” He waited for a reply from the Gods as everyone else did.
“They are frost beasts and they do indeed come from Jotunheim.” Loki spoke up, nodding toward the holograph of one of these humongous creatures.
Steve walked forth, examining the 3D image and scratching his beard at it. “So what you’re saying, if I am not mistaken, is that we could have another convergence on hand if these things are coming in? I’m no expert so please excuse my misinformation if I am wrong.” His blue eyes flicked to the God of Mischief. To everyone’s slight relief, both Loki and Thor shook their heads no. “We have yet another 5,000 years before the next convergence occurs, so we can consider ourselves lucky in that regard.” Thor tapped the table toward the frost beast, “What we have here is something else entirely and if my intuition is correct, I believe Thanos is behind this.” The God of Thunder pulled his arm back, mirroring the Captains pose and scratching his own beard. Director Fury nodded to Thor, “So it is a distraction of sorts for what he truly has planned? Laufeyson. You should know the answer to this, given you were under his control.”
Loki nodded, “This is one of his tactics. His army is far larger than a few frost beasts, I have seen it first hand. Well, a glimpse of it anyways. I am hypothesizing he has torn the seam to get me alone. He still is after my head and wishes death upon me.” His thumb gently plays with the smooth onyx band around his ring finger as a means to calm himself; to think of going home to his wife. “Understandable. We also wanted you dead for a period of time.” Nick spoke nonchalant, taking no mind in the slight irk in Loki. “Gentlemen, please.” Steve frowned, holding his hands out and waving down before turning to the dark haired prince, “I’ve got an idea but it will be very dangerous. It does involve closing that seam so we can take care of this and get back to taking Thanos down... I’m gonna need you to go home, Loki.”
Scoffing, the Trickster gave an amused smile to the captain “I would not exactly call it ‘home’ as you so plainly put it, but it does appear that I haven’t a choice here.” He sighed and turned on his heel, “Very well, please prepare a ship for me. If you are sending reinforcements along, I suggest you see Stark first for cold resistant armor. I do not require it, but mortals will-” There was a sudden crackling noise as Tony’s voice broke through the communicator on the table. “Sorry to interrupt ladies, but this isn’t the time for an ice cream social. We’ve got frosty the snowman on steroids over here destroying shit left and right!” Fury pressed a button, “Stark. Where is your position and company?”
“Central- Really!? Come on!! Never mind where we are! Just track us down and get help!!” Tony’s voice cut out as his communicator lost connection.
Almost immediately, Thor turned to Loki and grinned widely to which the latter tried to ignore what was just said.
“Let’s do get help.”
“No-”
All four of the men present suddenly grabbed onto anything as the room shook violently. The shaking was followed by a terrifying screech, causing everyone except Loki to cover their ears. “What the hell was that!?” Steve looked up to see the Trickster frozen in place as though he had seen a ghost. “It’s near the medical wing-” Loki choked out, taking off in a sprint as fast as he could.
--------------
“Everyone form a single file line and do NOT rush out!!” Astrid walked along the line of medical workers and patients, doing her best to escort the frightened people out of danger. It was hard to do so with the violent tremors that continued to rock the building. “Astrid, I’ll take over, go check the Children’s ward and make sure there aren’t any kids left.” Doctor Cho placed a hand on the brunette woman’s shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. Astrid nodded, quickly making her way out of room D to the best of her ability through the crashing and now flickering power. Her heart rate picked up as she heard a high pitched, terrified squeal come from her destination. Astrid sprinted down to the ward, eyes scanning over the beds in a panic.
The child shrieked once more as the power blacked out completely this time. “It’s ok!! Stay where you are and I’ll come get you, sweetie!!” Astrid pulled her phone out quickly turning on flashlight and seeing a little girl; who was no older than 5, huddled in the corner and shaking. The head nurse head to the girl with light feet, scooping her up and giving the poor child a tight squeeze. “It’s gonna be ok. I’ve got you. We’re gonna get you out of here.” She cooed to the girl, taking her small hand and holding it as she had reached for it out of comfort. Swiftly, Astrid began to make progress exiting the room with what little light her phone provided her. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” She cautiously stepped over some new rubble that had fallen from the ceiling while she was in the ward. “L-Lorraine.” the girl sniffled, continuing to hold Astrid’s hand and cling tightly to the woman.
Astrid smiled at the child despite being in complete darkness. “What a pretty name you have! I am so glad to have rescued you, Lorraine. My name is Astrid.” She adjusted the girl in her arms, hearing a small noise of happiness come from her; before finally reaching a well lit area and setting Lorraine down. Kneeling to her eye level, Astrid looked over her to see if she had any injuries. “Wh-What’s gonna happen to us, M-Miss Astrid?” The woman’s attention is brought up to big, teary green eyes. Reaching up, Astrid pushes some hair from the girls face and smiles once more in an attempt to ease her fears. “We are gonna get us out of here and find your parents. I see you’ve got a Junior Agent badge on your little uniform. Do your parents work for S.H.I.E.L.D?” She tapped the button on Lorraine’s shirt. “Mhm. Daddy is a person that helps other people. My mommy is here.” Her small finger pointed to her heart, “She went up to heaven last year with nana. Daddy told me not to be sad no more ‘cuz she is not in pain. He misses her too but he takes good help of me.” she gave the nurse a small smile, swaying in place.
“Oh Lorraine, you are such a brave little girl... My mom is here too.” Astrid smiled sadly, pointing to her heart. “What about your daddy?” Lorraine wiped her eyes, sniffling as she was lifted into the woman’s arms again. She paused, hesitant on how to answer that... “My dad...” She started saying as she continued to find an exit. “My dad..” she smiled at the little girl “Is Mr. Stark and he is the coolest dad ever. Sometimes he is kinda mean so maybe your dad is way more cool.” she chuckled softly as Lorraine’s eyes became large with wonder. “Whoooaaa!! That’s awesomeness. Are the Avengers your friends?” her fears soon dissipated from her mind as she became engrossed with Astrid’s words. “Mhm. I am! Captain America is the sweetest, Black Widow is cool, Ironman is a genius, Thor is like a big puppy!! I love them all.... Can you keep a secret for me?” She raised her brows and winked at Lorraine. The girl nodded eagerly and leaned in to hear, “I am married to one of the Avengers.” She laughed softly at Lorraine’s little gasp and blush. “Do you guys have babies?”
Her laugh faltered a little, but she continued to smile despite the inner conflict within. “Nope, not yet. But I’ll let you know as soon as we have one.” She pushed Lorraine’s bangs from her eyes again, heart aching from wanting a child of her own. Before the little girl could say anything else, Astrid dove to the floor while shielding the child with her body. The wall had exploded and a giant claw reached in, one of it’s sharp nails cutting Astrid’s ankle. She hissed in pain, clenching her teeth and keeping Lorraine’s head to her chest to protect her as much as she could. The pain slowly became worse as it felt like her skin was frozen and becoming frostbit. She knew it wasn’t too deep but that searing chill would worry her more. Lorraine screamed as the Frost Beast roared, destroying more of the wall. The beast turned it’s attention to the two and primarily focused on Astrid as it could smell her blood. Its hulking body moved, jaws getting dangerously close to the woman.
Before it could snap Astrid and Lorraine into it’s jaws, the Frost Beast let out a painful screech and backed away as its eyes began to bleed. Loki leapt down from the roof and into the hall where his wife was currently trapped. “Astrid!!” He called out, climbing down the fallen building to get to her. “Norns.” He muttered, seeing the nasty cut on her ankle and the chill encasing it. Holding a large hand over it, he chanted something in his native tongue and healed it completely. “I thought you were at home.” Astrid coughed from the dust, blinking to get it out of her eyes and look at Loki. “You really think I would be at home right now with all of this ruckus going on? Come now, my love. You know me better than that-” His brow scrunched as he saw movement underneath his wife. Lorraine peeked out, spotting Loki and quickly hiding her face into Astrid’s chest again. “It’s alright, honey. That’s my husband, he’s here to help us. He’s the one who defeated that big mean monster.” The brunette woman sat up, checking over the little girl.
Loki watched in awe as Astrid so lovingly and patiently tended to the child; checking to see if she was hurt and that she was ok. He knew it was part of her job to help children, but he never did get to see how she worked with them let alone see the love in her eyes for them. The god bit his cheek, shaking his head at the “what if...?” thoughts and scooped the both of them up. “Let us get to safety before more of its friends decide to show up and give us a bigger problem.”
---------
After reaching the rest of the group, Lorraine was returned to her father who was sobbing with reprieve that his daughter was safe. “Miss Astrid helped me, daddy! She and her husband! “ Lorraine gave the two a toothy grin. “She’s gonna let me know when they have babies.” She giggled as she saw Loki’s cheeks turn pink. His jaw was clenched, “Astrid. My love. May I have a word?” He spoke through his teeth. Astrid’s smile faded as she knew where this was headed, she turned and smiled to the girl; saying her goodbyes and thank yous before facing Loki.
“I-I can explain-” her voice was timid from her husband’s silent irritation.
Loki shook his head, nostrils flaring a bit “You know how I feel about that.” He almost hissed while trying to keep his temper under control. “She is a little girl, Loki.” Astrid’s hands fall to her sides, becoming annoyed herself.
“And?”
“And? And what!? She was frightened! I had to distract her somehow!” The brunette scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. “So that distraction was to tell her every little detail about our personal life? She is a little girl, Astrid.” He mocked her words and tone from before. “What did you want me to do!? Say nothing!? Kids are curious! Also, for your information, I didn’t tell her everything as you so dramatically put it. I doubt that she will remember me in a few days.” She felt a sharp grip on her arm and gasped as Loki shoved her against the wall. He was very irate with her and would not have anymore. “That is exactly the problem, my dear. You work with children and she just so happens to be in the same place you are. I do not recall any other children you have helped affecting you like this. Children are indeed curious and will spread information like wildfire. Have you forgotten that the public still resents me? I do not know what sort of thoughts have overcome you as of late concerning me impregnating you, but they will cease. The next time this gets brought up...” He stopped, looking away from her. What was he going to say? He wasn’t going to leave her, Norns no! There was always adoption... No. His selfish thoughts of being mistreated and fearing he would be the same to an innocent babe turned him away quickly. The thought of getting her sterilized did cross his mind too...
Astrid yanked her arm from his now loosened grip, tears burning her eyes. She knew he had a point and that she would apologize for it later, but just once did she want him to see that these thoughts were not selfish. She was doing this for him out of love and wanting him to be truly happy. “I-I’ll see you at home.” She huffed, walking away and refusing to let Loki see her tears. She would not let him win, not this time...
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Dinner was unusually quiet that evening, Astrid still mulling over the events of the day and barely touching her food. Loki was presumably in the same boat and decided he also lost his appetite. “I am to leave for Jotunheim tomorrow.” He broke the silence, pulling a chair out and sitting across from Astrid who glanced up at him. “Okay, be careful.” She shrugged, looking back down at her cold food before getting up and pitching it. The prince clicked his tongue and stood up abruptly, blocking his wife’s way to their bedroom. “Is that all you have to say to me?” hidden displeasure seeped in his words. Astrid sighed deeply, shoulders falling and whined, “Loki I’m tired-” She tried to walk past, just wanting to go to bed. His large hands grasped her arms, not as tightly as earlier but still firm, “Look at me.” His voice softened. The brunette sighed again before looking into the prince’s eyes. A small smile peaked across his handsome features as his hands moved up from her arms to her jaw. “I would wager that our situations have changed given that you always tell me I am the dramatic and whiney one.” He smiled as he got a grin from Astrid who tried to hide it.
“I apologize for earlier, my love...” His thumbs caressed her cheeks as he continued to look at her.
“I’m sorry too. I know it’s not a good subject... But m-maybe... Maybe we could discuss it in the future? Not have anything set in stone, but talk about it?” Astrid raised her brows, a hopeful glint in her large, doe like eyes. Loki leaned forth, placing a kiss on her forehead “Perhaps we will... However, there are more important things to worry about at hand. Such as keeping you safe.” He rest his cheek on top of her head and felt her arms wrap around his lithe torso. Nuzzling her face against his strong chest, Astrid took his scent in and felt any worry she had at the moment drift away. “Well then you probably won’t like my next question then.” She chuckled.
“You want to come to Jotunheim with me, don’t you?” Loki lift his head up to look at his mortal wife again, an unamused expression on his face. Astrid grinned, nodding and giggling at his frown. In her amusement, she reached up and pushed his pouting lip in and squealed when he softly nipped at her finger. “Be careful, I may have picked up a few habits from the mongrel.” He chuckled, hiding his smirk with a kiss to her neck. His laughter rumbled once more as Astrid smacked him playfully at him. “Leave my Kovu out of this.” She scolded, still laughing softly. Loki stood up, taking her small hand in his and leading her to their bedroom. He carefully tossed her onto the large mattress before crawling up and placing his head on her chest. Astrid rolled her eyes as she knew what he was asking for and began to play with his hair. “You know, you will need a medic to come along with you. One that sorta kinda knows your biology-” She blushed at what Loki cut her off with.
“By that you mean my cock? Oh darling, I am most certainly aware that you are an expert in that field.” He laughed as he felt yet another smack, nuzzling his head on her chest. “You know what I mean, dumb ass.” Astrid continued to play with his hair, shaking her head and smiling. “You are right though. I do take care of children... But there’s one big kid that I really need to keep watch on. Such a little trouble maker he is and not to mention he is very amorous...” She felt him shift a little to press his lower half on her leg to emphasize her words. “You would not happen to be talking about a very tall, handsome, charming, prince with a large-” He felt her stop playing with his hair and actually whined. The brunette laughed at the noise he made and his hand grabbing hers to put it back on his head. “Your chances of me saying yes to your joining decrease when you stop your petting.”
Sighing once more, Astrid resumed her caresses until the prince lulled into a slumber. He did agree to her joining the mission, but what he was not aware of were the circumstances that would happen on the planet of his birth...
So I guess this is gonna be a two or three parter. God damn. Why do I do this to myself?? Anyways, smut will be in the next chapter
Taglist: @lucywrites02
#lokistrid#loki x ofc#loki x oc#tw: breeding#tw: pregnancy#loki fanfic#fanfic#my writing#writing#loki mcu#mcu oc#i cannot wait to write the other paaaart >:3
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[ ObiRyū October | Day Seventeen | Trick or Treating ]
[ @abyssaldespair ]
[ Uchiha Obito, Suigin Ryū, Hatake Kakashi ]
[ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ]
[ Vulgarity ]
[ Previous ] [ Next ]
“Is he here yet?”
“No, not yet.” Very carefully, Ryū applies the last of her makeup. Funnily enough, it doesn’t take much. Just some gaunt, dark makeup around her eyes to make them look sunken and ghastly. She doesn’t even need a wig, her white waves straightened to make a foreboding curtain around her face.
“Ugh, I swear that guy manages to be late at every turn…” Scowling, Kakashi descends the stairs. His own costume is...mostly applied. Ryū just needs to finish wrapping his head, the rest of his mummification already complete. He claims the holiday is lame and for kids, but...she totally noticed him spiffing up what she’s already gotten done.
He might claim Obito’s dragging them out, but she knows he’s actually glad his friend asked.
“It’s not that late yet,” she gently retorts, turning her face to look for anything she’s missed. Just a little black lipstick, and she’ll be done! The second hand store had the perfect white dress, which she’s (temporarily) dirtied for effect. Some carefully tacked-on gauze gives her a spooky look, and just like that: she’s a wraith! “Want me to text him?”
“No, I’ll do it.”
Ryū gives him a glance, a brow perked. He’s standing at one of the windows by the front door, clearly keeping watch. That seemed a little...odd. But she soon shrugs it off. “I hope it doesn’t get too cold...it’s gonna ruin our costumes if we have to wear coats…”
“It’s pretty cloudy, we should be fine. You sure you don’t wanna go to Rin’s party? She said you could go.”
“I know...but I can’t let you dorks go anywhere on your own,” she replies, carefully applying her lipstick. “That’s just asking for trouble.”
“...uh huh. Doesn’t have anything to do with Obito going with me?”
“If Obito weren’t going, you wouldn’t be going. So I guess you could say that,” she counters cheekily.
Kakashi scowls, hidden behind the wrappings on his face.
“Besides, they’re all older than me. It’d be weird. Can’t I just go trick or treating with my brother without being interrogated?”
“Okay one, they’re only about a year older than you. And two, Obito and I are their age, so what’s the difference?”
Ryū turns, pouting. “I’m the odd one out! They all think I’m just a little tagalong. Doesn’t matter that it’s only a year, they still think I’m a twerp. I can tell, they don’t like me…”
Kakashi rolls his eyes. “They like you just fine. You’re just too sensitive.”
“And you’re not sensitive enough!”
It’s then a frantic knock sounds at the door, and they both look to see Obito peeking in the window. “Let me in!” he calls, muffled through the glass.
“About time,” Kakashi mutters under his breath, opening the door. “What took you so long?”
“I had to fix my facepaint, it started melting!” Staggering through the door, Obito arrives in all his zombie glory. Scars left uncovered, he instead has a fake wound on his forehead, and...well, it looks like it’s actually bleeding, given that the paint is indeed starting to ooze.
“Oh, jeez...here, lemme see.” Ryū crosses the gap, a makeup remover napkin in hand. “I can make a new one with some makeup that won’t run. You’ve got it on here way too thick, that’s why it’s being goopy, silly.”
“Uh -?” Not given a chance to refuse, Obito finds himself dragged to the mirror in the main hall, Ryū quickly getting to work. “...you know how to do that?”
“Yeah, duh. We did a workshop on it in theater class, remember?”
“I didn’t do that one, I did props!”
“Well maybe you should have done makeup instead,” she teases, cleaning his forehead. “Now hold still.”
Kakashi, arms crossed, watches the pair with a halfhearted glower. “Hurry up, it’s almost dark. We’re gonna run out of time.”
“It’ll just take me a minute! Obito should get to look the part, too. Have a little patience big bro.”
“Yeah big bro,” Obito echoes, grinning.
“Shut up or I’ll give you a real wound, instead.”
“What crawled up your ass and died, Kakashi?”
He heaves a curt breath, not wanting to admit it. “...nothing. I just want to get this over with since it was all your idea.”
“Says the guy who can’t stop fiddling with his costume to make sure it’s just right,” Ryū retorts. “Admit it, Kakashi - this is gonna be fun! You don’t have to be such a stick in the mud all the time.”
“Trick or treating is for kids.”
“And we’re still kids,” she reminds him, leaning out past Obito to look at him. “Stop trying to grow up so fast! We’re not gonna think any less of you for letting loose and having fun sometimes.”
“...okay maybe I will, but that’s just cuz I have to make fun of you,” Obito offers, pretending to flinch as Ryū lightly baps his arm. “Kidding, kidding!”
Kakashi just rolls his eyes. “Someone around here has to have some sense.”
“Hey, Ryū’s got plenty of sense, and she’s not a jerk!”
Blinking, she flushes a light pink.
“She’s also too easily swayed by your shenanigans, so that doesn’t count,” Kakashi counters dryly.
“Well maybe she just likes to have fun!”
“Okay guys, c’mon, enough arguing,” she cuts in with a sigh. “Obito, how’s that look?”
Not realizing she was done, he leans in toward the mirror. “Whoa! That looks so cool!”
Her pink cheeks get pinker. “Think that’ll work for tonight?”
“Yeah! Thanks!”
“You’re welcome!”
“Okay, now are we ready to go?”
Ryū holds up a hand. “One sec!”
Kakashi groans, head tossing back as she dashes upstairs.
“Y’know, you didn’t have to say you’d go,” Obito offers, crossing the room to stand beside him.
“Ryū wanted to go.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to.”
“Yeah, actually, it does.”
“Why?”
Another grumble. “...cuz I’m her brother. I don’t want her out alone after dark with anybody.”
“What, you don’t trust me?”
“I trust you the least.”
“Aww, why? You know I’d never -!”
“Just nevermind,” Kakashi mutters, edging too close to a rather sensitive topic.
“Okay, back!” Ryū hurries back to the main level. “Here!”
“What’s this?”
“They’re trick or treating bags, duh! Gotta have something to hold all our goodies, right? We made them this week in Home Ec for the elementary school students. I had some extra time, so...I made us all some! They’re based on our costumes.”
“Dude, this is awesome - thanks!” Obito holds out his bag, which sports a felt zombie face on it. “Is there anything you don’t know how to do?”
Kakashi deadpans as she blushes again. “W-well yeah, plenty of things.”
“...okay, anything else, or are we good to go?”
“All right all right, let’s hit the street!” Bag in one hand, Obito holds his aloft, staggering and dragging a foot toward the door.
“Obito, come on! We won’t even make it to the neighbor’s if you go that slow!”
Rather than replying, he just groans.
This is going to be a looong night, Kakashi can’t help but mutter mentally.
Once they get outside, Ryū pushes against Obito’s back to speed him along, earning a laugh as he breaks character. “Save that for when we’re closer to the doors!”
“You don’t like my zombie walk?”
“I like it just fine, but you’re too slow! Kakashi’s right, we don’t have all night. Don’t be a walker, be a runner!”
“What, like...this?!” Spinning around, Obito makes a wild sound, reaching out and making Ryū squeal in surprise as he starts chasing her.
“I’m a ghost, you dork - I don’t have a brain for you to eat!”
“That makes two of you,” Kakashi calls from behind them
“Hey, shut up!”
“Don’t run ahead.”
“First I’m too slow, now I’m too fast. Make up your mind, Kakashi!”
They reach the first house, everyone huddling up on the doorstep as Ryū rings their doorbell. A young couple opens the door, marveling at their costumes before giving them each a heaping handful into their bags.
“Hey, so are we gonna trade each other for stuff we don’t like when we get back?” Obito asks, looking into his bag.
“Maybe, if we have enough time.”
“Kakashi do you even like candy?”
“I like the sour ones. And dark chocolate.”
“I like mint and chocolate!” Ryū pipes up. “Ooh, and peanut butter!”
“Eh, I’m not too picky. Sweet is sweet to me.”
They slowly make their way around the neighborhood, visiting house after house and dodging gaggles of younger kids pursued by their parents. They even manage to cross paths with a few others from their classes.
“See! I told you we’re not too old,” Ryū teases her half brother with a grin.
“Obito and I are still pushing it,” he counters. “Most of our classmates are probably at parties instead.”
“And yet you’re here with the cool kids.”
He snorts. “Debatable.”
They even manage to cross paths with a teacher from the school, his wife helping take their son for a round of trick or treating. Ryū hoists the little blond to her hip, cooing over his fox costume. Naruto is quickly a bundle of giggles at her attentions.
“She’s pretty good with kids, huh?”
Kakashi glances to his friend. “She’s been babysitting for them.”
“Whoa, really?”
“Mhm. It lets her earn a little spending money, and she’s learning some responsibility.”
“And practicing for being a mom.”
The Hatake’s expression sours. “If she wants to be one, sure.”
“She’d be a great mom! She’s super sweet and patient.”
“Good thing, since it lets her put up with you.”
“Hey!”
As the evening ages, the trio decide to call it a night. Each of their bags are rather swollen with goodies, and Ryū digs through her own eagerly.
“Wow, there’s a lot more here than I thought we’d get!”
“Good thing we went down that side street - they had the best haul!” Obito agrees, peering into her bag. “A lot better than my neighborhood. Everyone’s so stingy…”
“So you’re just here to loot ours?” Kakashi asks, brow perking as Obito goes pink.
“No!”
“He’s just teasing,” Ryū assures him, rolling her eyes. “Come on, let’s get back and trade!”
They return to the Hatake household, sitting in a circle on the living room floor. Each dumps out a little candy mountain at their front.
Right off the bat, Kakashi hands over everything but sours and dark chocolates to his sister, who in turn gives hers of his favorites. He’s left with a bit of a small pile, but he doesn’t really care. Sweets aren’t his thing.
“Okay Obito, what can we trade?”
“Uh…” He rummages around. “I’ve got some chocolate and mint stuff. Not much with peanut butter, though.”
“Okay! What do you want that I’ve got?”
They start haggling, Kakashi unwinding the bandages on his face enough to chew some sour Starbursts. He can’t help but be amused at how seriously they take it. Unlike himself, they both sport some pretty hefty sweet teeth.
“But that’s not fair!”
“I don’t want them!”
“Then take some more of these!”
“It’s fine!”
“Ryū, he said he doesn’t want them,” Kakashi cuts in, getting tired of their babble.
“But -!”
“Are we going to watch a scary movie?”
The question acts as the perfect distraction. The other two teens blink. “...are we?”
“Might as well sit and watch something while we eat all this, huh?” Kakashi pops another Starburst.
Obito glances to a clock. “It’s kinda late, though. Should I head home?”
“Aww, already?” Ryū gives Kakashi a pleading look. “Can he stay?”
“What?”
“Tomorrow’s Sunday, it’s not like we need to be up for school! He can just sleep over after the movie. We can put the inflatable mattress in your room!”
A hint of suspicion colors his gaze. “You’re gonna have to make extra breakfast.”
“I don’t mind! Pleeease? We’re having so much fun, I don’t wanna quit yet!”
Ugh, she’s too convincing for her own good. “Fine...I’ll make some popcorn. Go find a movie.”
“Yay!”
...he’s going to regret this, isn’t he?
Throwing a bag of popcorn into the microwave, Kakashi subtly watches into the living room. Ryū and Obito both look over Netflix, trying to find a good movie.
“No, not that one! It’s too scary!”
“I thought that’s the point?”
“I wanna be able to sleep tonight!”
“Nothing to be scared of! Kakashi and I will be here, right?”
“W-well, yeah...but -?”
“Okay, let’s keep looking. Scaredy cat.”
“Am not!”
Obito just chuckles. “How about this?”
“...okay.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Kakashi just rolls his eyes, splitting the popcorn three ways. “Here.”
Lights turned out, they start the movie.
Like most horror films, it starts out slow. Ryū, wedged between the boys, sinks into her seat and subconsciously munches her popcorn, staring at the screen. And despite his usual boredom with the genre, even Kakashi pays attention.
And then the first jumpscare happens.
“Eep!”
Kakashi flinches as Ryū shrieks, shying back from her slightly as his ear complains. But then he glances over to check on her.
And she’s curled up into Obito’s shoulder.
His eye gives a slight twitch.
Obito, watching wide-eyed, hasn’t really reacted. But a few minutes later, when another shot of the movie’s monster flashes across the screen, he lifts an arm without breaking his stare at the screen to let her closer.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
By the end, neither of them have moved. Only once Kakashi flicks on a light do they both jolt, realizing their positions.
“...time for bed,” Kakashi then mutters. “C’mon Obito, help me set up the air mattress.”
“Uh...right.”
Ryū scurries to the bathroom to brush her teeth, the boys awkwardly heading to Kakashi’s room.
Kakashi doesn’t say a word, letting Obito stew in it for a while.
“So, uh...Ryū really doesn’t like scary movies, huh?”
Here we go. “She likes ones with ghosts. Gore bugs her, though.”
“Really? Doesn’t she want to be a nurse?”
“Mhm.”
“...then -?”
“There’s a difference between real world injuries and overdone movie wounds,” Kakashi sighs as he throws some blankets over the temporary mattress. “If it’s too over the top, it freaks her out. Besides, she’s only sixteen. She’ll get over it before she actually gets into med school.”
“...right.”
More awkward silence.
“Does she, uh…”
“Does she what?”
“Does she...like me?”
Oh brother. “She seems to tolerate you pretty well, yea.”
“That’s not what I mean! I mean does she...like me?”
“How should I know? Ask her if you’re so curious.”
“I can’t just ask her that!”
“Why not?”
“Cuz -!” Okay, he doesn’t really have a reason. “...it would be weird.”
“Weird.”
“Yeah!”
“What are you, twelve? No wonder you’ve never had a girlfriend.”
“Maybe I haven’t wanted one!”
Kakashi deadpans. “...do you like her?”
Obito flashes pink. “...I dunno. I...I guess so.” A pause. “...is that...bad?”
“You tell me.”
“I mean, you’re her brother, and…” Something seems to sink in. “...oh…”
“Yeah. ‘Oh’.” Finished, Kakashi just glances to his friend. “...you’re an idiot, but...apparently she’s into that sort of thing.”
“...wait, she -?”
“Yeah. If you weren’t thick as a brick wall, you’d have noticed by now.”
Suddenly Obito is far more nervous. “...are you mad?”
Kakashi sighs. “...no. I just worry. That’s what big brothers do.”
“...sooo…?”
“...so...just don’t fuck it up. Then I won’t have a reason to get mad.”
“Er...right. Okay.”
“Okay guys, bathroom’s free! G’night!”
Obito fumbles for a moment. “G-goodnight!”
“Night,” Kakashi calls back. Once he’s ready for bed, he slips under his covers, hearing Obito do the same.
...well, breakfast is going to be interesting.
Well this is...late and a bit on the short side, but I ran out of time. Today was busy and I ran out of steam =w= But it’s done! Also got to rest run the sub-verse idea of Ryū and Kakashi being related cuz I just like the vibe :3
Anywho, just some silly fluff with out favorite dorks. Makes me sad trick or treating won’t really be a thing this year (if people are smart, anyway).
...I’d say more but I’m tired :’D Thanks for reading!
#obiryū october#abyssaldespair#uchiha obito#suigin ryū#hatake kakashi#best years of your life [ au ]#vulgarity //
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Tradition (Chapter 1)
I’m just gonna go and shamelessly tag this as part of the @hansannafortheholidays event even though it’s really, really late. Written for Day 10: Mistletoe.
Also posted on ff.net and ao3. Please tell me what you guys think and I hope you like it!
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Hans keeps finding himself caught under the mistletoe. Somehow, it’s always Anna’s fault.
Or, alternatively, seven kisses Hans and Anna share under the mistletoe. Childhood friends AU.
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i.
To think, just a few weeks ago, Hans had been so excited when he had learned of his betrothal. The last of his thirteen brothers, he had been resigned to waiting for each of his older siblings to be paired off with wives before even hoping for a match of his own. And he would have waited a long time, if his brother Lars hadn't intervened.
Only Lars would give more than a passing glance at the small kingdom of Arendelle, and only he would see the opportunity in its two young and eligible princesses. Only Lars would care about his youngest brother enough to make him a match, and only Lars would have the charisma and wits to pull it off.
And what a match it was. A crown princess. A future queen.
No one but Lars, Hans' sole ally in his entire family, would have thought of it. Not even their father would have cared enough to think of Hans' future. If it were up to him, Hans would have never been paired with anyone, even if everyone else had already been married off. Or, worse, he would have been sent to the Brotherhood of Isles, forced to take a vow of silence.
But no. Thanks to Lars, that wasn't his fate anymore, and at eleven years old, Hans was already on his way to a brighter, better future than any of his brothers could ever hope to achieve. The trip to Arendelle was just icing on the cake, and Hans had been thrilled to spend the winter season away from his family.
If only Anna wasn't in the picture.
Anna, the second and youngest princess of Arendelle. A spare, just like him.
His eagerness to spend the holidays in his future home, to meet his future in-laws, to get to know his future wife, had been dampened thanks to her. Unlike Elsa — who was quiet and reserved, who was poised and graceful, whom Hans had barely even seen since his arrival in Arendelle — Anna was a tornado with pigtails. She ran around the palace without care, always with reckless abandon, always with a grin, and always with something to say.
She was just so talky. And annoying. And wouldn't leave him alone. Everywhere he went, she was always one step behind, yammering in his ear about some story or another. There was no avoiding her — and boy, did he try — and Hans had no choice but to grin and bear it. Especially, as Lars liked to laughingly remind him, if Hans wanted to get in the King and Queen's good graces.
So here he was, acting like the princess' glorified keeper, as Anna pouted and knocked incessantly at her sister's door.
"Elsa!" Anna was saying, and the sound of her relentless knocking made his head pound. "Do you want to build a snowman? We could do it with Hans! I bet Hans wants to build a snowman with us. Don't you, Hans?"
She turned to him expectantly, and Hans gave her a strained smile. "Sure," he said through gritted teeth. "I'd love nothing more."
The sarcasm was lost on her, and she beamed at him before turning back to the door, knocking again. "You hear that, Elsa? Hans wants to play with us! Elsa? Elsa, I know you're in there! Elsaaaaaaa."
Not for the first time that day, Hans bit back a sigh. Elsa was probably trying to enjoy the silence — the sweet, blissful, blessed silence — before coming out to deal with her little sister. Maybe with Elsa with them, Anna would be easier to deal with, and Hans could have an actual conversation with his betrothed.
But the longer he and Anna stood there, waiting, the more it became clear that Elsa had no intention of opening her door. Hans watched as Anna's large grin faltered with each passing second.
In spite of himself, he couldn't help but frown. Since he arrived, he had only seen Elsa a handful of times, mostly during meals where her presence was required. Even then, she hardly said a word, speaking only when spoken to, each reply short but polite. Hans supposed she must be shy around strangers, and he could understand her need to keep to herself, but was it really necessary to lock herself in her room like this? To hide herself away?
Hans knew all about hiding, after all. He just couldn't understand why Elsa would need to. Anna, as draining and irritating as she was, was nothing like his brothers. The King and Queen of Arendelle were nothing like his parents. So why was Elsa not opening her door? Why wasn't she answering at all?
Anna seemed to have given up on Elsa replying. Her shoulders had visibly drooped, and her bright eyes had dimmed as she cast her gaze downward.
"Oh, well," she said hesitantly. "You're probably busy with — uh — the usual stuff, I guess. Maybe next time?"
There was no answer, but Anna didn't wait for one before dropping on her knees and elbows, peeking through the crack under the door.
"Anna," Hans began, "what are you —"
She slipped the drawing — the one she had been so proud of, the one she made while she insisted he tell her about every single detail of his castle in the Southern Isles, about what each of his brothers looked like, about his entire voyage to Arendelle — under the door and got back to her feet, grabbed his hand, then tugged him away like a ragdoll.
"C'mon!" she said excitedly, beaming again. "Let's go to the library! It's got load and loads of books and Papa said they're from all around the world — isn't that awesome? I bet you've got a library in the Southern Isles too, huh? I bet you've —"
"Wait," he interrupted, mind reeling. "That drawing. Your drawing. You gave it to Elsa."
She nodded, not pausing in her steps. "I did! You think she'd like it?"
"Why?"
"Why would she like it?"
Again, Hans wanted to sigh. "I mean, why did you give it to her?"
"Oh. That." She took a deep breath, then, without pausing, went on, "Well, I dunno, I just thought she'd like to see what the Southern Isles looked like, 'cuz, you know, she didn't get to hear any of your stories at all, 'cuz she left so quickly after dinner and everything. And I bet she really wanted to hear 'em too, because she's in her room all day and she never gets to hear the best stories. I bet she's really bored, staying in bed all the time, and I bet she really wanted to hear all about your castles and your ships and your horses and stuff, but she didn't 'cuz — I dunno, 'cuz she's Elsa like that — anyway. I didn't want her to miss out on all the fun, so I made her those drawings so she gets to see 'em even if she wasn't there!"
It took Hans a moment to make sense of her rambling, but when he did, all he could say was, "You've never seen them either."
"Yeah, but I've got you to tell me all the stories! Elsa doesn't have a storyteller like you so maybe we can make her drawings instead. Like in the storybooks." Anna brightened, and he could almost imagine a candle over her head, lighting up with an idea. "Oh, oh, oh! We should make her a storybook, all about your adventures! I bet she'll like that. Do you think she'll like that?"
Hans fell quiet, feeling something stir in his chest at her words. He couldn't imagine any of his brothers doing something like what Anna did and wanted to do for Elsa. If it were his family, they wouldn't even notice his absence, or would have thought of him at all, let alone care enough to make handmade presents and slip it under his door. Sure, there was Lars, and Hans was definitely grateful he wasn't like the rest of his brothers, but Lars wasn't exactly the affectionate, sentimental sort, and he was always too caught up in his books and research to think of much else.
"Yes, I think she will," Hans said after a while.
Anna squealed. "We should get started! I've got all my crayons and pencils and everything and — oh! We should do it in the library! Elsa never goes to the library — well, she never goes anywhere really — but I don't think I've ever seen her in the library. It's the perfect place — I bet she'll be so surprised —"
She went on and on, talking a mile a minute. Hans let himself be dragged along, half-listening, but he couldn't help but smile and nod as he followed. The princess was annoying, certainly, but she was harmless and easily amused. He supposed there were worse ways to spend the holidays than acting like her royal babysitter.
I won't be bored, at least, he thought.
Anna stopped abruptly when they reached the library. Hans had already passed by the doorway, but Anna was staring at the decorations overhead, gasping, an awed look on her face.
"Mistletoe," she whispered, sounding almost reverent.
Sure enough, there it was, hanging above her, almost hidden behind all the other holiday ornaments. Squinting, Hans could see the mistletoe was still full of berries, and they seemed to gleam, almost tauntingly, amid the glittering decorations.
Hans grimaced. "C'mon, Anna," he said. "I thought you wanted to get started on your storybook —"
"Not before we kiss!"
He sighed. "We don't have to, Anna. It's just a plant."
She looked up at him with a horrified gasp, looking so appalled like he'd just done something terribly unforgivable. Like kicked a puppy or destroyed her snowman, or whatever it was that could be considered unforgivable for six-year-olds. "But it's tradition," she said, reproachful.
Hans resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Technically, he could probably just carry her over his shoulder, bring her inside the library, and be done with it, but no doubt Anna would throw a fuss and start kicking and screaming. It wouldn't be worth it.
So, resigned to the lesser evil, he stifled another sigh and bent down to press a soft kiss on her forehead. When he straightened and stepped back, Anna was gaping at him, with wide eyes and pink cheeks, before the stunned look quickly melted into a glare.
"You missed!" she whined. "That's not a real kiss!"
Hans could feel the beginnings of a smile curling at the corner of his lips, but he smothered it with a smirk. "Of course it is."
"Nu-uh!"
"And how do you know what a real kiss is supposed to be like?"
Anna lowered her voice, glancing about her furtively like she was about to tell a secret. "It's s'pposed to go on the lips, over here," she whispered, pointing to her lips for good measure, as if he needed the reminder. "Like Mama and Papa do. Like in the fairytales."
"Fairytales aren't real, Anna."
She stuck her tongue out at him. "Shows what you know! 'Course they are!"
This time he didn't bother to hide his annoyance as he rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I still say it's a real kiss. The mistletoe tradition never said the kiss had to be on the lips."
She wasn't convinced. "How'd you know?"
"I read it. In a book."
"What book?"
"From the library."
Her brows furrowed, and she looked like she was in deep concentration, as though she was debating with herself, trying to fit what she knew with this new information. Then she nodded, self-assured and seemingly satisfied. "Okay, I guess," she said, a bit reluctantly. "But next time you have to give me a real kiss — not a stupid one on the forehead! A kiss like True Love."
"Like in the fairytales?"
"Exactly!"
"You're a bit young for True Love's kiss, aren't you?"
Anna tsked impatiently, grabbing his hand and tugging him inside the library. He was beginning to get used to it. "Then do it when I'm bigger, duh. You have to promise."
Hans wanted to laugh, but she was glaring at him so fiercely, so intensely, that he knew nothing less than an affirmative would sway her.
"Okay," he said, smiling. "I promise."
ii.
Kai had been with the royal family long enough to remember the days when the princesses were as thick as thieves, practically attached at hip. Back then, it was almost impossible to see one princess without the other trailing just a few steps behind.
But when the King and Queen decided to place the princesses in separate rooms, when they decided to close the gates, it was like the whole castle had changed overnight. Gone were the joyous, childish screams and giggling, and what were once two sets of footsteps, running to and fro the hallways, had turned to one. It made the palace seem too big, too empty, too cold, and the day Princess Elsa decided to spend her waking hours in the confines of her room, was the day Kai felt as though a light had been snuffed out in the kingdom, leaving only dimmed smiles and shrouding not just the royal family, but everyone else within the castle, in lonely shadows.
Now, Kai had some rather unfavorable opinions about certain practices that were common among the nobility. It wasn't his place to question Their Majesties, of course, but he certainly hadn't approved when he had learned of the engagement between Princess Elsa and a prince of the Southern Isles. Politics-wise, Kai agreed it was a good match, but for heaven's sake, they were only children.
Still, he remembered how Princess Anna's face lit up when she had first learned that Prince Hans was to spend the winters in Arendelle, and how Princess Elsa would wander more and more outside of her room as the prince's annual visits went on. Kai had to admit that some good had come out of the arrangement, as Her Highnesses had ended up with a playmate and a friend — or, in Princess Elsa's case, someone who was on his way to becoming one, if nothing else. Though she still insisted on staying in her room, she would come out to engage in small talk with him, and Kai had noticed that the prince was the only person she would approach and talk to at royal functions, on the rare times that she did initiate conversations.
Which was Kai felt a bit miffed on the princess' behalf, when he caught sight of Prince Hans slipping away from the ball, carrying a platter of what looked suspiciously like krumkakes. From what Kai could tell, no one but himself and the princess had noticed the prince's absence, and he saw her looking around the room, searching the crowd from her place on the dais.
Why, the nerve of him! Kai thought, affronted. Leaving the princess alone . . . why I never!
Once Kai was certain his presence was no longer needed, he too left the ballroom in search of the wayward prince. The boy needed a stern talking to. He was seventeen now, almost of age, and the ball was supposed to be held in his and his brother's honor — surely he had to know better by now, surely he was aware of how rude it was, to leave the party just like that.
It didn't take long to find the prince in the gardens, but what surprised Kai was that he wasn't alone.
"The whole thing?"
"Yeah, the whole thing! You got it."
Kai felt his eyebrows rise to his hairline at the sound of Princess Anna's voice. Peeking behind the hedges, he found the two royals, giggling over a platter of krumkakes. Prince Hans was without his coat, and it was instead draped over the princess' shoulders, big enough to hide the nightgown she wore underneath.
Kai stepped back in the shadows to give them a bit of privacy, remembering then that it wasn't just Elsa who sought the prince's company during his visits. He recalled how fond of the prince Princess Anna was, always so delighted when he visited and despondent when he left. Kai remembered too how she had moped for weeks when the King and Queen informed her she was too young to attend the welcome ball.
Oh well. . . .
Kai could give them a few moments to catch up, he supposed, before he revealed himself. It wasn't as though the prince's presence was that pressing of a matter, surely. . . .
"So what's it like?" the princess was saying.
"The ball?"
"Duh."
"All right, I suppose. A bit boring."
"Boring?" she echoed, sounding aghast to hear such a thing. "How can it be boring? I mean there's dancing and all those people and there's so much chocolate and food —"
The prince laughed. "It really is, Anna. There's hardly any people my age to dance with, and everyone else is busy talking about trade routes and politics."
"But Elsa's there." There was a pause, and the hesitation in her tone was clear when she continued, "Was she — was she having fun?"
"I don't think she was. She didn't even dance."
"Not even once?"
"Well, one dance. With me. It . . . could've been better."
The princess giggled. "Aww, how romantic."
"It wasn't," the prince said, sighing. "She kept stepping on my toes."
"Elsa? She would never!"
"You don't believe me?"
"You've seen her! She's so . . . graceful and perfect. I don't think she's even physically capable of being bad at anything."
"Clearly, you've never seen her dance."
Another pause, longer than the first, and Kai was just about to step forward to see what was wrong, when the prince spoke again.
"Anna?" he said worriedly.
"Nothing," and Kai could hear the sadness in her voice. "It's just — you're right. I've never seen her dance. She — uh — she never wanted to practice. With me, I mean."
"Oh." Prince Hans cleared his throat. Sounding rather awkward, he went on, "None of my brothers did either. I suppose . . . it's not completely outside the realm of possibility that I . . . may have tripped a couple of times myself."
This made the princess laugh again. "I knew it!" she crowed. "And . . . outside the realm of possibility? Sheesh, Hans, do you always have to be so formal and proper?"
"Someone has to."
"Hey, I can be formal and proper!"
"Sure, Anna."
"Oh, just you wait, when I'm old enough to attend those stupid balls, I'll — I'll be so proper and sophisticated and graceful that you won't even recognize me, and the look on your face will be so —"
The princess stopped so suddenly that Kai couldn't resist sneaking another glance from his hiding place. Prince Hans had placed a chaste peck on her forehead, and was now pulling back to pluck a berry off the mistletoe hanging in the archway.
"Oh," Princess Anna said, turning as red as her hair.
The prince merely chuckled. "Tradition, remember?" he said lightly. "At least it got you to shut up."
She gaped at him. "Why you —"
Kai took that as his cue. He cleared his throat, stepping away from the shadows. "Your Highnesses," he said, bowing.
"Kai!" the princess exclaimed, delighted to see him. And then her face fell, realizing why he was here, and she said, much more dismally, "Kai."
"Now, my lady," he said reproachfully. "I believe it is time I escort you back to your chambers."
"But Kai," she said in whining tones, eyes large and imploring in the way Kai knew well.
"It is past your bedtime, Your Highness."
Next to her, Prince Hans snickered, and she shot him a glare, hitting him on the shoulder hard enough that Kai caught him wincing. Kai turned his attention to the prince then, who gave him an easy, charming smile.
"I take it no one has noticed my absence?" he said, sounding certain.
"I believe the princess has, Your Highness." The prince looked stunned by this. Trying to inject a hint of humor in his tone, Kai added, "That, and the absence of a certain platter of dessert."
"Ah," was all Prince Hans said, his cheeks slightly tinged pink.
It was the princess' turn to snicker, which turned Kai's attention back to her. She made a face, giving a most unladylike groan.
"I know, I know," she grumbled under her breath. "Back to my rooms."
"Indeed." Kai nodded reprovingly. Turning to the prince, he said, "I trust you know the way back to the ballroom, Your Highness?"
"Yes, thank you, Kai," Prince Hans said somberly, looking contrite and properly chided.
And if Kai caught the prince slipping one last krumkake in the princess' hand as she was led away — well, he supposed he could turn a blind eye, just this once.
#hansanna#hansanna fic#prince hans#hans#princess anna#anna#hansannafortheholidays#hansannafortheholidays2019#my fic#fic: tradition
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JW 3: excommunication vs badassery - WHO YA GOT?!
Well, I'm back here again talkin about John mother bleepin Wick; that must mean that people are messing with him again.
In the 1st movie, we learn that John Wick belonged to a secret soceity of assassins, but he got out of the game, so he could properly
grieve his dead wife. The only piece of that life he had was in a puppy, and some assholes came around and killed that puppy.
A puppy! Not John Wick's old dog who had lived a full life and kinda wanted to go cuz he's seen too much shit - they killed John Wick's cute, innocent, lil puppy!
So, JW had to kill not only the people who killed his puppy (no no no no no),but everyone associated with them: family, friends, if you have ever delivered a pizza to those scumbags, if you bagged their groceries, it was on!
He killed 3 guys who were involved in a bar once with a pencil! A PENCIL! Who does that?!
Who says to themselves "Man, I'm so mad that I'm gonna go into that bar and kill three men with this number 2." Who?! An unstable human being, that's who! I love him, but damn!
In the 2nd movie, they said , "John Wick has gone too far! Yeah, we killed your pup, but you didn't have to take out the our whole community!" Soooo, they decided to take more of his stuff - they stole his car. They got Ruby Rose and Common after him to say "Look, John, we're square, let us take the car,
we'll rough you up just a little bit... and let this all go."
But, you already killed the man's puppy, now you gonna swipe his ride? What the hell is wrong with y'all?! You know who this man is!
Of course, John Wick had to kill off multiple gangs, along with Ruby and Common. For one night, the streets were literally painted red with blood.
John Wick's killing went beyond cinema. Those actors haven't been the same since.
Ruby Rose has given up movie making for the CW network, to make-out with women while dressed as a bat (not making that up) She figures she can hide in the CW.
Look at her... she’d rather look ridiculous than be near anything John Wick related.
I don't think Common has put out any hit songs since that John Wick 2. The carnage that he saw in the production of that movie was mind-shattering.
They said - "John Wick! That's it! We tried to square things up, but you wouldn't listen! Now, you're excommunicado!"
Now, in the church world, I know what excommunication means - no more Ritz crackers and wine for you, dirty stares when church folk see you at the market, they draw devil horns on your pic in the prayer list, and you're no longer invited to church picnic's, but they never send people out to beat yo ass. Can you imagine if church were that serious?? A pastor having a pack of assassins just
waiting for you to disobey him/her. Maybe Russia would do that... seems like they might do church differently out there.
But, that's where we're at with “John Wick 3: Parabellum!”
He's been cast out of the fold! No one is allowed to help him. They cancelled his social media accounts, his gym and yoga memberships,
and coupons at Whole Foods. They beat the hell out of him. Told him he’s got one hour until certain horrible death. Took ALL his shit! He's done!
In John Wick's time of need there are only two people that he can turn to. Two people who haven't totally turned their backs on him - Halle Berry and that woman from "The Addams Family"; good ol what's her face.
So, he's off (though a bit beaten up and bloody), to murder everyone
in his path to finding these two people. It's like a video game in a sense - there should be an action total at the end of each scene:
112 dead
52 shots to the head
34 broken limbs
432 bullets fired
40 gallons of blood spilled
10 dicks and 7 balls chomped on by Halle Berry's dogs
Number of New Yorkers freaked out by all of this (0)
He kills people with a horse! No joke!
And a book - at one point John Wick destroys a giant of a man:
busts up his ribs, his knees, his shins, his kidneys, his balls, his jaw, his neck... all with a book.
I'll never see a bookshelf in a home the same again.
All of this mayhem and blood leads John Wick out into the desert. Where he has to meet with some high elder to... do a job to reverse the excommunicado to... be... an assassin slave or something... idk.
There are people out there who may complain about the lack of sensible story in this movie, and... yep! - they're right, but you know... it's all about survival and revenge - what more do you need??
The real hero of this movie is a doctor that John sees in the beginning, who gives him some pills that take away the pain, and give him energy.
Those pills are the things of superhumans, cuz that's all he needs for most of this movie. I saw him take a couple of sips of bourbon, and drink some of Halle Berry's spit (don't ask). But, that's all he needed to do all of this killing
for nearly a week. I didn't see him stop at Burger King, or grab an energy drink, or take a nap (think of the great opps for product placement --- John Wick doesn't sleep often, but when he does, I bet it's on a Casper Matress), I didn't even see him use the restroom; which he probably needed cuz he was running
weird throughout this whole movie - like he needed to pee and his pants were too tight.
That's the real tragedy of John Wick - never having time to pee or buy new pants that fit.
But, apparently, John Wick doesn't need any of those things, all he needs is Halle Berry's spit. Just a couple of sloppy, slurpy kisses from Halle and a man or woman is set!
Yes, this movie lacks a bit in plot, but John Wick has always been about the amazing ballet of kills. There is a literal ballet influence as we see a glimpse of John's background - and it's a ballet/wrestling school... that
also teaches young kids how to kill. The fighting is just as creative and pretty as in the last two movies, with A LOT more blood.
All is murderously fun enough to subside some disbelief, until... I won't spoil much, but... look, I've watched John Wick get shot, stabbed in crucial arteries, break bones, get hit by two cars, sliced up by all sorts of sharp objects... he keeps going, ok... we're living by "Fast & Furious" rules, whatever, but at one point he goes over the edge of a multiple story building. A BUILDING!
He gets shot, falls over, hits multiple objects on the way down, and then SPLAT! - and he’s STILL ALIVE AND READY TO BEAT ASS. Forget "Fast & Furious" we're living by "Looney Tunes" rules.
At another point, he loses a finger (minor spoiler, but it doesn't matter to the plot), if that finger had grown back, it wouldn't have surprised me.
C'mon, man... I've got to take off points for that.
It's a fun movie. Fans of the series will def enjoy it; I did for sure! If you're a casual fan, you'll prob have to suspend the part of your brain that tries to make sense of things, and simply enjoy, but it's worth a watch, if you love action.
Grade: B
I did feel sorry for the simple 9-5 henchman in this movie. Just out there trying to support your family, in a world where John Wick is killing people with pencils. If I were said henchmen, I think I'd pretend to get hit and knocked out by John Wick. Only John Wick normally shoots everybody in the head (many times) before leaving a scene. I'd have to smash a couple of ketchup packets on my head or something; I'd figure something out cuz I sure as hell ain't messing with a killer like him.
An actor I didn't mention is Asia Kate Dillon known as "The Adjudicator".
She is excellent btw Trying to enforce rules, and I get it! You've gotta keep people accountable to the rules in a world full of assassins, but... if John Wick is the one breaking the rules... maybe you should let that shit go.
That's the morale here. Follow the rules! And if you break the rule, you had better be as badass and indestructible as John Wick.
He caused so much death in these three movies over a dog getting shot; this series is like a PETA wet dream, and judging on how awesome this dream is, it may continue way passed 3 movies.
#john wick#movies#john praphit#praphitproductions.com#movie reviews#action movies#Keanu Reeves#asia kate dillon#halle berry#praphit#peta#revenge#excommunication#common#ruby rose
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minor AU Completion of the Beta Kid’s Animal Symbolism
so something I’ve always thought about and wondered about, I wanna talk about for a bit, now that homestuck’s over and I’m rereading it going through the story
all of the beta kids throughout the story have unique animal related symbolism, that eventually ties into delving into greater parts of their characters, exploring even what you might consider the “darker side” to their characters, sometimes to the point of representing their inverted states/jungian shadow selves nicely tied into the idea of “lower bestial natures” being at odds with their true human natures
and these culminate and get fully cashed in by tragic/failed alternate versions of each beta kid that gets somehow mixed with their respective animal (usually through sprite shenanigans) and ends up in some way dealing with their inner issues a bit
Jade’s Dreamself (who was always very silly and prone be overemtional) dies under prospit’s moon, gets stuffed, and later resurrected as a JadeBecsprite who represents Jade’s inner tragic emotional states
Dave gets trapped in an alternate timeline with Rose, but then goes back in time after learning the ins and outs of the game, only to sec prototype as Davesprite and earn wings, and then forevers deals with the depression and aftermath of never being “Alpha” Dave ever again
Rose eventually dies in a pre retcon timeline fighting the condesce, and her corpse is thrown into Roxy’s sprite post retcon, which then merges with Jaspersprite to make Jasprosesprite^2 and which post retcon Rose is herself embarrassed by the inner revelations revealed by this character, who has itself lost all inhibitions due to the animal prototyping
but John never really gets anything of the sort, but in reality, there was a GREAT opportunity for him to have something like this happen to him, early on in the story, that doesn’t actually change much of the story at all
so this is kind of a “what if this had happened instead?” minor AU where some minor details were a little different
because the animal candidate I’m thinking of that could have had something to do with John personally in the above way, already has a great setup for this: none of its own character/personality/dialogue as it was just a programmed toy robot, minimal invasion into the plot (and most only in regards to John’s Dad related things), viewed John as it’s sole master and had a nice clean death via Green Sun explosion in Cascade
and that is the Uber Bunny Robot known as Liv Tyler
and the alternate version John candidate I’m thinking of is the John that got tricked by Terezi into facing Typheus too early and getting killed by him, causing the doomed timeline where Davesprite is from
this John also has a great setup for this, because at first we get exactly 5 or so pages describing what went down in the Doomed timeline, and all of it from Dave and Rose’s perspective, we know nothing of what really happened in that John Typheus encounter, other than “John died and thus was unavailable to help Jade enter the game”, we also get a little bit more later, when we see the Ghost of this John have a chat with a dead version of Vriska much much later in the story. John says there was more to his death than he let on, he died, but not in a fight with his denizen, because he spoke with Typheus, and knew that his death was necessary for his friends to live on, he made his Choice to die, for the sake of the timeline
and because this alternate John and Liv Tyler have a huge chunk of symbolism in common, all of which ties directly back to John, and more specifically, John’s opposite aspect Blood
the first is, the same Liv Tyler Bunny plush was given to John by all three of his friend’s on his same birthday through time shenanigans
Dave gives him the original plush rabbit, which is the actual original rabbit from the one nic cage movie john really loves, when John ecto’s all the babies, he dramatically re-enacts the con air nic cage scene from that movie (reunite with your loving wife and daughter) and gives the rabbit to Rose
Rose in this reality grows up with the rabbit as her own sentimental youthful object, its old and torn growing up with her, so she knits it back together using the needles that John gifted to her and gives it to John on his birthday
John then gives this rabbit to Baby Jade in the same reunite with loving wife and daughter scene
and finally, Jade with her then alt universe penpal Jake, send it back and forth, making robotic upgrades and enhancements and equipping it with all kinds of awesome gear: the Warhammer Of Zillyhoo, the Quills of Echidna, the Royal Deringer, and Ahab's Crosshairs, which match the Strife Specibi of the beta kids. She does this because she foresaw John would be in danger and wanted to send something to help him fight
this rabbit is the literal embodiment of Johns strongest friendship bonds 3 times over, the literal physical manifestation of his Blood
and then Typheus!John is only able to get to Typheus because Terezi through Sollux helped him removed the 3 random objects stuck in his rocket, 3 random objects, that just so happen to be object that appear in Dave’s, Rose’s and Jade’s houses: a cinderblock, a violin and a potted plant
so again, a connection to John’s connection to all 3 of his friends
now here’s where the AU kicks in:
John is still tricked into meeting his denizen early, preserving the timeline with Davesprite and whatnot, however his choice to die to preserve the reality where his friends continue to exist has another part to it
Not only does Typheus allow him to choose to become a ghost to preserve the alpha timeline, but also gives John a sort of challenge, with a potential boon at the end
If John as a ghost can break out of his extra hard dream bubble coma, break out of his memories, remember the choice he made to help save his friends/the timeline, he may be allowed to manifest in a different physical form instead, in order to continue helping his friends/his new alpha self survive the game
all the panels where dead Vriska meets him and helps him to jog his usually hard to jog memory compared to the other ghosts still happen, but the ending is different, because of the extra challenge/boon Typheus gave him. When John remembers fully, he remembers the boon Typheus left him/how to use it, probably something like, a one use portal window thing that transports his ghost back into the physical realm, so he’s kinda in the same state Aradia was as a ghost in Alternia
so he finds somewhere where the uber bun exists, some point before it actually gets to his dreamself on prospit (doesn’t actually matter where)
and then it’s revealed after the fact, that everything Liv Tyler did upon activation at Prospit was actually the choices made by this alternate universe dead spirit version of John
it’s viable because as a robot made by Jade and Jake, it has the ability to potentially house a soul/life, just like Jade’s dreambot for her dreamself (or again, earth version of the tech that Equius made for Aradia, lot of weird Aradia parallels here, but that really only helps this AU) and something that helps is that the bun likely wasn’t built with any way to naturally communicate, no pesterchum in it like lil hal, nor a voicebox, again making a connection to this being a John which has to internally deal with/overcome that he is no longer the “important” John, but this time he’s simultaneously back with all of his friends, and cut off from them at the same time, similar to Davesprite, but also in a having no mouth and must scream kind of way (relating to symbolism of Breath = Speech/communication/mail) being the opposite of his natural element, in an unhealthy place, similar in situation to how Lil Hal was an A.I. copy of Dirk, a heartless version of a heart player/out of their natural element and having to deal with that negative environmental influence
and it helps explain the few things that Liv Tyler seem to do with no direction, like help get Dad’s wallet containing the tumor (which a John would have recognized as his dad’s and picked up anyway) and getting to Dave Rose and helping them (when it’s stated Liv Tyler was supposed to view John and only John as his master, specifically built that way by Jade for that purpose, to protect John)
the package hes in goes through it’s shenanigans like usual, one minor change could be instead of Jack Noir wielding the bunny against the black queen to get her ring in rebellion, he could simply use one of the many regiswords/assassination requests he apparently gives out like candy, like the one he gave to PM, and the bun merely stays in the box until it’s delivered to PM and then John himself and Bun!John recognizes John and becomes his protector
but then you could just make the point in time that Alt!John merges with the bun the point where Liv Tyler’s allegiances switch to helping John from Jack Noir, so the above is just moot anyway
he stays with John for awhile, then fulfills his major mission in helping get the tumor to Rose and Dave and help them to survive/god tier in the correct time and place/again preserve the timeline, fulfilling the idea of him wanting to come back for the purpose of wanting to keep his friends safe/putting his bonds above his own internal state and self to the point of self sacrifice during the green’ sun’s explosion (again, another point for his blood overpowering his breath)
so yeah, you can see, despite all my text it doesn’t actually change much in the plot! the biggest thing could be Jack Noir not using it for the Black Queen (cuz lets be honest he didn’t really need to, his betrayal would have caught her off guard enough to grab the ring) but really just depends on where you choose to do it
AND instead of this flash: https://www.homestuck.com/story/5027 which was more comedic, we could potentially get a string of panels showing what John was thinking and feeling as the Bun Robot, so close and yet so far away from all his friends, completely alone in his own thoughts and with his only motivation being to make sure his friends survive the game, maybe in thought bubbles or code like Serenity the firefly, showcasing the sort of mental descent and depression that John is really prone to, showing how he could end up in a state where he willingly dies for his friends for their sake
I think it’s a great missed opportunity to be honest and at the very least it’s a very neat little AU Idea
and the way it’s set up would be like an awesome shock reveal too
but then also, John is already compared to nic cage so much it’s not even funny
and John himself makes the symbolic connection between nic cage being just like the rabbit “dirty, worn, old, but it’s what on the inside that counts” simultaneously making that connection to himself when he’s inside the rabbit, because it’s bot his outward appearance that matters, what matters is that He’s still John on the inside, still your best friend guys, I’m right here...
and homestuck has a pattern of turning old jokes into new serious content, so it’s not like it doesn’t fit
and if a few panels are thrown in of a ghostly spirit wandering a bit before settling on the bun inside jade’s gift, it can help establish that Alpha John later would become truly intangible and floating through not just earth, but all of homestuck itself
anyway, those are my thoughts for this idea, I think there’s a lot to go on here
the only thing thats not involved are sprite shenanigans, but If I could find a way to involve those then I would :P
maybe instead of dying at the green sun with Dave and Rose he somehow gets thrown into an sprite somewhere and becomes actual RoboBunJohnsprite (even though everything’s taken already and can’t be altered) maybe it can happen instead of Tavris or GCATavris who knows is BunJohn even survives somehow
shenanigans! shenanigans i say
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THE TOO GOOD TEN with Drew William
The Canadian Football Player and up and coming singer-songwriter Drew William follows up the early 2021 debut EP Room with the latest Message In A Bottle EP.
While playing music in coffee shops and restaurants for the past few years the athlete took advantage of the canceled football season last year to really dive into his musical passion. Now with six songs released, William has proven his ability to pull at your heartstrings with raw and honest songs that while personal to him can be healing and relatable to anyone who listens. A genuine level of intimacy blossoms in every song that gives way for his music to be both enjoyable alone or with close friends and family.
The latest EP release continues that level of intimacy that his fans have come to expect.The two song project features a brand new original release, “California Coastline” that gives ode to William’s home state while also paying respect to a song close to the singer’s heart with a cover of Post Malone’s “A Thousand Bad Times.” Find out more about Drew William and the latest EP by checking out his Too Good Ten below:
1. Starting from the beginning, when did music start for you? How did you realize you wanted to make a career out of it?
DREW WILLIAM: The beginning is in a one bedroom apartment on Morley Ave. Some discreet little red building in a town most of the world has never heard of; Winnipeg, MB. I picked up the acoustic guitar three years ago in that apartment and have played it every single day since. I came into music naturally. Playing for friends, playing open mics, playing restaurants, pubs, and now going for it in the real music world. Have my first full-set show at Burt Cummings Theatre on April 20th. I feel this is my first big stepping stone.
DREW WILLIAM LIVE STREAM ON RED TIE LIVE’S FACEBOOK ON APRIL 20TH @ 8:00pm EST / 5:00pm PST. CLICK HERE TO WATCH.
2. You were born in California, went to college in Minnesota and now live in Canada. How have those three experiences make their influence into your music? Any of the (3) stick out as being most influential?
DW: I like the surfer rock style a lot, that nostalgic almost drunk atmosphere that it places you inside. And when I moved to the Midwest it was a lot more folk and ballads. I guess I kind of have two sides to myself: this very twenty-six year old feeling his way through life and this old soul that feels like it’s already made the mistakes and is trying to come out and wisen me up. It’s an interesting mix of the two.
3. Congrats on the release of the debut EP, Room. What was the biggest learning from putting together and releasing a debut EP?
DW: To trust in my gut, and to not be so critical on myself. I knew that mixing and producing my own music was a risk, because It was a lonely venture into a world I was just learning about. I knew that I might not have the skills of a veteran who has been doing it for years. But at the same time, I wanted to enter music absolutely as myself. From the get go I wanted to share myself; no matter how rusty or beginner that sounded. I look at all this as a growth of music and a growth of self. I’m having to learn to let go of a lot of insecurities and fears, and for that I have to thank my own music.
4. And now fans have an additional taste of your music with the release of the Message In A Bottle EP. What’s the EP title mean to you?
DW: “Message in a Bottle” came to me from a line in the lyrics: It says, “On that California Coastline / We’re fire and rain at the same time / I found a bottle on the sea / With a message on the inside / Is a tale about a lost love / From a boy who held these memories.” It’s this goodbye to a past version of myself, to the old loves and it’s this intimate goodbye because it’s more than just memory it’s a part of soul, too, that no longer serves.
So the throwing of the bottle is this closure; a letter written and sealed by the same person. An opening up and a goodbye. This seems to be what growth feels like now. Maybe that will change in appearance, or feel differently, I’ll find out. But for now, this feels like a goodbye to an old self, with a mindset of growing up whilst not losing that child inside that makes all of this fun and freeing.
5. You’re not only a musician but also a wide receiver for the Canadian Football League team Winnipeg Blue Bombers. How do you balance being both an artist and an athlete? What’s the biggest challenge of pursing both careers?
DW: This past season was cancelled so it became a focus point to work on my music. This year as we anticipate a season, I have to tread carefully because it’s something I have never done, two things simultaneously. I used to believe these two worlds had to be separate, music and football. But it has proven to be quite the contrary. It has opened the doors for my music to be heard, and I will continue to see them as supporting roles in my life.
6. As an athlete is it tough for you to show a more vulnerable side through your music?
DW: It is. I’ll be straight up honest. There is a lot of insecurity on a football team. Egos, hyper masculinity, these things exist everywhere. But there are guys who are so much more than this sport. I hope to be an example to kids who are afraid to show their emotions, show them that you can be so many different things in life and still maintain your truest essence. I just live passionately, whether that’s on the field or on stage, I’m putting it all on the line.
7. Do you have any funny/fun/weird fan interaction stories you can share?
DW: I was supposed to play this little curb-side concert, this family won it in a little raffle I held and when I showed up it was just one couple. The wife was wasted and the husband was 30 years older than her. Their son came in and out of the room where I half heartedly played for them (he was schizophrenic but was the most normal person in the house). And then there daughter came up from the basement wearing all leather like she was about to hit the corner. She was probably thirty-five, filming me on her phone.. I was very weirded out. The wife had made bacon pirogi's for me. I told her I was a vegetarian. She didn’t understand why someone would do that…. And she kissed me on the cheek when I left. I was very disturbed ha-ha.
8. If you could headline a music festival – which one would be the dream festival? And who would be your choice for the other (2) acts that would headline the other two nights of the festival?
DW: I really think me, The Lumineers and Ziggy Alberts could all put on a nice little folk fest. I wanna play the Red Rocks Amphitheatre in CO. Just an unbelievable venue. Not sure if there is a festival there though! I’ll go to anywhere that will take me at this point!
9. If you could only listen to (5) artists for the rest of your life who would they be?
DW: So basically my life anyway? Ha, I kid I kid. Truthfully: Mt. Joy, The National, Angus & Julia Stone, Cat Stevens & Zella Day
10. What’s the rest of 2021 look like for Drew William?
DW: A whole lot of learning, relationship building, collaboration, and diving deep inside and bringing out The best and truest art. I can feel my life changing before me, it’s frightening but exhilarating. Ready for this ride!
We’re ready for that ride as well! Shout-out to Drew William for hanging for this Too Good Ten. Keep updated with Drew by following along with the links below and be sure to tune TOMORROW, April 20th @ 8:00pm EST / 5:00pm PST right HERE.
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The Too Good Ten interview series is dedicated to giving you a quick glimpse at some of the freshest voices in music. Ten Questions. One Artist. Too Good. Let’s go.
While The Too Good Ten is dedicated to just highlighting ten questions from an artist, Too Good Music was lucky enough to score an additional two questions from Drew...check them out below:
BONUS QUESTION #1: Congrats on the new releases of “California Coastline” and the cover of Post Malone’s “A Thousand Bad Times.” What surprised you/or what might people not know about the process of covering and releasing your own version of another artist’s song?
DW: The part I was focused on was really making it my own version. Something people know but don’t know, so it feels like an entirely different ride. I wanted also to pay my respects to the song. It meant a lot to me. I’m sure it helped a lot of people. It’s also a message I needed to hear, especially now. We all need this reminder. We’re all feeling something right now, no need to hide that. This is a very hard time. But we are resilient people and it’s been a gift to witness and a gift to make music that continues to carry this message of resiliency and strength.
BONUS QUESTION #2: Your Quarantine Campfire series on IG live – where you perform, do Q&A’s and bring along friend’s and guests – is awesome. How’d you come up with that concept and would be a dream guest on the series?
DW: This was an extension of the in-person curb-side-concerts I was doing throughout the summer. Creating an intimate and safe place to share music, highlight some local artists and just have fun with the community. Man… My dream guest. Probably Zella Day cuz I got a lot respect for her music and I once saw her sing “Man on the Moon” on YouTube, all acoustic, and I was blown away. It would hit perfectly on my quarantine campfire.
#music#folk#guitar#acoustic#blog#music blog#the too good ten#interview#interviews#drew william#singer#songwriter#winnipeg blue bombers#football#linebacker#zella day#post malone#winnipeg#athlete#toogoodten
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Vampire Hunter D Fanfic
I was inspired by THIS : http://kokoko-sir.tumblr.com/post/162672980752. awesome piece of @kokoko-sir ‘s art and asked permission to post this little ficlet. (Forgot to add the link and mobile wont let me edit in a hyperlink) Of course it turned into a bit of a beast (3044 words wtf?) but I couldn’t help it, somebody needed to comfort that poor child, even if I had to use time travel shenanigans so my OC Avaleara (his wife) could do it. Also I might come back through in a few days for some minor edits, but for now I’ve been staring at it too long to catch any typos. I hope you all enjoy!
I’m putting under a read more cuz DAMN this got three times as long as I thought it would.
D ran as fast as he could, scrambling up desperately every time he tripped. Tears slipped out as a stray branch split his lip, stinging the cut around his eye he’d already gotten from the angry villagers. He forced himself to keep going despite the pain from his beating and the burning in his lungs. Humans couldn’t follow as fast, but if he stopped to rest too soon or too long they would eventually catch up.
An hour passed before he finally collapsed in a trembling heap, every inch of him aching. The broken ribs from a farmer’s boot had healed a bit, but while they weren’t broken anymore, they were still badly bruised. There were other cuts and bruises all over him, and they likely wouldn’t heal much further without him drinking anything. Hand used up too much energy stitching together his bones to worry about such minor annoyances. Still they throbbed and ached as D curled up into a ball on the forest floor, trying not to let anymore tears fall. Not only were they a useless sign of weakness but they hurt right now. Besides that they wouldn’t change that the farmer hadn’t seen a lost child but a monster to be killed, and had called backup to help do the deed.
D staggered to his feet. He had to keep moving. Even if he’d managed to go far enough the humans wouldn’t catch up for days, there were other things out here. While he was trained enough to handle minor beasts, the frontier was full of monsters that were dangerous enough to annoy even Father. D wouldn’t stand a chance if he ran into one of those. That, and he needed to get out of this forest so he could use the stars to navigate home.
“Hey kid, you should call your d-” D idly smashed Hand to shut him up.
“I’m fine.” No, he wasn’t but dad had dropped him on his own, claiming it was a test. D wasn’t sure exactly what was being tested, but he’s pretty sure calling for help would mean failing. In which case calling for help didn’t mean things wouldn’t go from bad to worse. Besides… if he could make it seem like he got his wounds in the forest, father wouldn’t go back to the village. Father wouldn’t stop at the bastards that attacked a lost child, he’d wipe out every single person, most of whom had no idea D had even been there. D didn’t want that much innocent blood on his hands.
D’s tired feet tripped over a protruding root. This time as he fell, there was the strangest sensation, a tingling warmth, then a flash of light blinded him for an instant before he caught himself. When he could see again, it wasn’t the dark, root and leaf covered forest floor under his hands, but a sunlit paved path. Quickly he scrambled up and tried not to show his shock. The- mutant? Monster? Being? - in front of him was a massive wall of muscle, towering to a height that rivaled Father’s. It's arms covered in scars, and the two short swords at its hip would make it seem intimidating even without the thick horns and inhuman face.
D looked up and up and hoped like hell it couldn’t smell fear.
POV Switch
Avaleara stared down at the tiny child in front of her. She’d seen a lot of shit in her life, but even she was a little thrown by a tiny version of her husband suddenly taking his place. One that was clearly injured - a fact that had rage filling her almost as quickly as panic. She tamped down on both quickly and firmly, briefly checked the telepathic bond she shared with D (it hadn’t snapped so much as a thick fuzzy veil was between them. Odd and uncomfortable, but suggested he was aliveish) and decided that figuring out whatever bullshit fuckery this was needed to wait. Right now there is a child in front of her, hurt and trying to hide his fear. While she’d processed this in a few seconds, if she took much longer he’d notice.
Crouching down so she wouldn’t tower over the poor kid, Avaleara spoke as softly as her rough voice would allow, “Hello Little One.” D’s flinch was almost imperceptible, but it broke Avaleara’s heart as much as the bloody scrapes on his face. “I won’t hurt you.” The ancient Romanian was strange on her tongue. Adult D didn’t use it often since it brought back too many childhood memories, but it was the only language she shared with child D. Any other frontier languages she knew were evolved thousands of years beyond what little D would understand. Yet it didn’t reassure him as she’d hoped, just made him stand even straighter.
“I assume you’re another part of father’s test.” No child’s voice should be that flat. Even worse was the fear little D hadn’t quite learned to completely hide. Dracula could burn in hell for eternity and it wouldn’t be enough.
“No, I’m not part of any test.” Gah, her voice was far too rough to soothe any Earth child, but she couldn’t help that. Quickly considering what to tell him, Avaleara realized that with any version of D, straightforward honesty was best. Even as a child he’d be too intelligent to swallow any lie she came up with. “I’m not sure what exactly is going on. All I know right now is that I was just speaking with the older you, then suddenly here you are as a child.”
D’s little face showed his skepticism. It would be endearing if it didn’t show how young he’d learned mistrust. Avaleara wanted to rip Dracula apart all over again, but she controlled her rage so it wouldn’t frighten D more.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” She told him again, firmly. When he didn’t respond, she sighed. “Do you mind if I look at those cuts? Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“I’m fine. It’ll heal soon enough.” There was no doubt in his voice. D had already been injured enough to know. D couldn’t be more than 6 or 7, yet he had already been injured enough to know for sure how long it would take. Not for the first time, Avaleara was tempted to resurrect Dracula just to kill him again more slowly.
“I’d still like to make sure. Please?”
“Ok.” D’s voice was quiet and resigned, but at least he let her help him. It had taken years for Adult D to trust her enough for that.
Avaleara reached out and gently pulled D’s hair back. The cut was healing quickly, but there was enough dirt mixed in that Avaleara wanted to wash it. She wasn’t sure how great his healing was this young, but the fact that such a little cut hadn’t healed already meant it was definitely slower. No sense risking infection if D wasn’t powerful enough to prevent it yet. D stared at her as she took out a rag and pulled water from the air to make it damp. He flinched when she reached for him, staring at the rag. “It’s ok.” Hopefully he wouldn’t make her explain, by the time she finished the science talk, the cut would have healed completely, possibly sealing the bits of rock and dirt inside.
Luckily Little D seemed more determined to be brave than suspicious. He shifted closer and gave her a look that was clearly get on with it. Avaleara resisted the urge to smile at the adorableness, and reached out again.
D’s eyes widened slightly at the warmth as Avaleara gently wiped the cuts around his eye, exposing the bruising underneath. Yet again she repressed the sheer rage that welled up. She focused on the familiar action of cleaning a child’s face to help keep her calm. Keeping her movements gentle and slow, she moved onto D’s split lip. By the gods all she wanted to do was cradle him in her arms. None of their children had looked so human, but all the same she couldn’t look at this D and not see them. She ached to comfort him the way she would any of them, but D was already so used to cruelty she doubted he’d react well.
Finished with his face, Avaleara rocked back on her heels and rinsed the rag as she contemplated how to convince him to let her check his other injuries. She could see at least another few scrapes on his arms, and his breathing was shallow. At first she’d thought that was fear, but it might not be and she was familiar enough with chest injuries to be concerned.
“Who are you?” At least confusion replaced the fear in his voice as D calmed, though he still watched her warily.
“My name is Avaleara and I’m someone who cares about you. I’ll keep you safe while we figure out what’s going on. I promise.” She held out her small finger in the human tradition Takashi had taught her as children. D hesitated before copying her and she wrapped her finger around his. Careful not to split her scar and make it bleed, Avaleara grinned as wide as she could.
POV Switch
D had no idea what to make of the strange being crouched before him. While he still hadn’t completely ruled out it being part of father’s test, they were strangely gentle. Nothing associated with Father was gentle. The usual method of dealing with D’s injuries was throwing a blood pack or a body at him to drain. D even had a few hazy memories of Father’s wrist pressed to his mouth, but in those he was too far gone in pain to ever be sure it wasn’t just a dream. Never had anyone gently wiped away the blood, calm and tender despite obvious flickers of anger. Even their anger was strange. Father raged when he was damaged by anyone else, but it was half at D for not being strong enough and half rage that someone dared to challenge father’s edict that D not be harmed. Except here D got the impression this Avaleara was more angry at whoever hurt him, for him.
"You never answered me little one. Are you hurt anywhere else?"
D's ribs still ached, his hands had been shredded by many falls, his arm was still bleeding sluggishly where bone had pierced his skin, and everywhere else ached from his long run. But could he trust Avaleara not to hurt him further for admitting it? His caretakers sometimes lulled him into admitting weakness then punished him for it, would this be different?
Avaleara sighed again, "I can tell you're hurt in at least a few other places. I don't want to push you, but I'm worried. Please let me help you. I promise, I'll keep you safe. I'm hoping no bones need set, but if they do I'll be as quick and gentle as possible.”
"I took care of his bones. He'll heal fine enough on his own." Hand finally spoke up. "He just needs rest." For D's ears alone Hand added, "And some human blood, but I don't thi- ack"
"D may heal fine enough on his own but he shouldn't have to damnit." Avaleara was glaring at his hand, irritation but no surprise on their face. They looked back at D, "I'd still like to look after your other wounds. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable. If you agree with Left Hand I'll back off." Looking around, they added, "We should get indoors first, or at least get out of the middle of the road. There's a rest house a short ways ahead we should get too."
D had been too preoccupied with the immediate threat to look around, but he took the chance now. Nothing was familiar. From the sky tinted a shade of purplish blue, the trees with strange colored leaves and even stranger fruits hanging off the branches, to the grass a shade of green so dark it was almost black, everything was different. Even the paved road beneath their feet was different- while the bricks were an innocuous beige, the grout between them was a color gradient starting in the left distance a brilliant blue fading through to pink towards the right distance. What strange noble had built this place and how did he end up here?
He looked back at Avaleara, who hadn't moved while he looked around. "It's a lot to take in. I'll explain it as best as I can once we get somewhere more private. I don't like the idea of advertising Adult D has been replaced by Child D, even temporarily. There's too many enemies that would take advantage. Is it ok if we get moving?"
D nodded. Avaleara stood. They hesitated for a second before asking, “ Are you ok to walk?” D’s legs screamed that he wasn’t, but he nodded again anyway. They raised an eyebrow and sighed, but didn’t challenge him, just turned and started walking slowly. Obviously they could have gone much faster with such long legs, but their steps were measured and slow. D stubbornly stomped ahead, ignoring both the increasing pain in his legs and the long sigh from behind him. His irritation at being coddled gave him just enough courage to throw back, “So what are you anyway?”
“I’m an alien.” D stopped in his tracks and spun around. Their lopsided grin looked horrifying with the scar stretching across it. They held their hands behind their back and leaned back with a mischievous glint in their eyes.
“Stop Teasing me and Answer.” D tried to inflect his voice with as much authority as he could, which was quite a lot. He’s the son of the Vampire King and not to be trifled with.
“I’m not teasing you. Well, only a little cuz the reaction is always priceless, but I really am an alien. Or technically you’re the alien since we’re on my homeworld, Le’ Shevare. Also since it seems to matter so much to Earthlings- I’m a female.”
D stared. They- she- sorta made sense, but it was hard to wrap his head around. First Avaleara claimed that she’d been talking to his older self before he was swapped in, now she claims he’s on another planet. Except it was plausible- while the nobility hadn’t found alien life on any of the planets they’d reached so far, certainly it was only a matter of time. If he really was switched out with his older self then it was also plausible he’d been visiting one of these colonies. Also, not only would it be plausible that technology capable of switching him would exist in the future, but also that a future enemy of his could get ahold of that technology and use it to revert him to a less powerful state. It could even make sense to turn him into a child. It would seem like the perfect opportunity to ransom him off, not realizing Dracula would kill them for the insult regardless of whether or not it could harm D in the process.
D turned around and started walking forward again as he continued thinking. He still didn’t know if he could trust Avaleara.But at the moment he had no other ideas on where to go, and if Avaleara’s story was true, even calling for his father wasn’t an option. That thought was terrifying. No matter how brutal father’s punishments got they were still a known quantity. Father wouldn’t kill him as long as he continued to be a success. Here he was completely cut off in the unknown. Of course it was still entirely possible that this was an elaborate test and Father was watching right now.
D lost his train of thought as he tripped on his own feet. Strong hands wrapped around him and kept him from hitting the ground again. His face heated up as embarrassment washed through him. Just because it had been almost two days since he’d slept was no reason to be stumbling around like this. Father had made him go much longer, and would be angry at his laziness. Tears burned at his eyes again and he rubbed them away fiercely.
“Its alright little one. I’ve got you.” Avaleara’s voice was rough as gravel and her Romanian was flavored with a strange accent. It shouldn’t have been reassuring, he shouldn’t trust her at all. He should hate how clearly she was trying to be gentle, but instead he liked it. It was a weakness brought on by exhaustion, clearly. Tears spilled over and his shoulders began to shake as he lost control. Gentle hands turned him around and he was pulled close into a strong embrace. It should have scared him how powerful the arms wrapped around him were, but instead he felt safe. It was so different to any other time his father held him. Dracula was kind on a whim, violent on another. D was used to knowing that the strong arms embracing him would eventually hurt him. This time should be no different, yet it felt so different. He buried his face into the crook of Avaleara’s neck and let go, damn the consequences. He cried and cried until he was completely drained of what little energy he had left, all the while that deep rough voice crooned softly in his ear. Avaleara gently rocked him from side to side, and as D ran out of tears he began drifting off to sleep. He stirred briefly as she picked him up, but was quickly lulled back to sleep by hand carding through his hair. He didn’t stir again until he was placed on soft furs, but again gentle hands sent him right back to sleep.
POV Switch-
Avaleara looked down at the child sleeping softly. She was still worried about her D, and needed to figure out what was going on and how to fix it. But for now she’d watch over this Little D, and give him all the love she could. When he returned she doubted he’d remember anything, but maybe, somewhere in his subconscious, a memory of gentleness could rest and help him through the long years until they met again.
#vampire hunter d#my writing#tried not to make it too much about avaleara's world but it needed something#you don't just land on an alien world and ignore that#well#maybe adult d could but not kid d#anyway#if anything didn't make sense let me know I'll try and fix it#hope yall like it
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Facebook Posts July 2010 - December 2010
4th July 2010
The illusion that everybody's opinion matters has created a society in which stupidity must be considered just as seriously as brilliance. Gone are the days where stupid people weren't allowed to talk while big people were talking. Now they have their own facebook pages.... On the bright side, we no longer have to rely on television for entertainment
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10th July 2010
♫ Just gonna stand there and watch me burn....well that's alright because I like the way it hurts......Just gonna stand there and hear me cry....well that's alright because I love the way you lie...♫ - ‘Love the way you lie’, Rihanna ft. Eminem
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14th July 2010
If there's no such thing as no such thing, then there is such a thing as no such thing, which means that there really is no such thing as no such thing.
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15th July 2010
Bad?: So I was standing next to a fat girl and I turned to her and said "moo". At first she started to cuss and call me names and tell me about my mother. I quietly said "moo" again without lifting my gaze. This time she started screaming and clawing at me. For the last time...I said "moo". She stopped and looked at me, then after a minute of silence she said "father?"
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25th July 2010
You know you're doing something wrong when your fiancée tells you "I'd rather be his whore than your wife"... ♥ Titanic
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30th July 2010
You ever meet someone so dumb that you think they're up to something? "What?....no....what you playing at?....wait.....you're serious?"
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5th August 2010
The 1st tao of Jarid: {For all those in a relationship...the sentence "It doesn't matter anymore, I have a man, I'm gonna let loose" is not acceptable unless you're talking about a party or sex.}
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6th August 2010
I know I'm not the only person that finds irony in the fact that the guy that recently beat the JAMAICAN Bolt, is called Mr. Gay. lol "Gay shocks Bolt in Stockholm" is the Headline....So what did we learn? U can run from gays all u want my Jamaican brethren, but it'll catch up with you eventually...
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15th August 2010
Life is too short to waste on people who don't realize how awesome you are. I knew an awesome person who never followed the crowd or did what was 'expected'. She's gone now, but I can say she lived her life the way she wanted to, surrounded by people she liked who definitely liked her. When my time comes, I want someone to say the same about me. So fuck off and thank you.
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17th August 2010
Can someone explain to me how purposely doing something that makes your guy friends happy and like u, but at the same time leaves ur woman unhappy and unsatisfied, isn't gay? "Bow cat" it would seem is the opposite of "battyman"....not synonymous.
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20th August 2010
"Ur like a giant fucking cock blocking robot developed in a secret government lab or something" - Zombieland (lmao)
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21st August 2010
♫ That's alright, thats ok....g'on head believe what ur home girls say...a nigga like me drink alotta liquor, meet alotta bitches, take alotta pictures....I might break bread with 1 or 2 strippers, but that don't mean u gotta pull my zipper...thinkin that I dicked down the whole town, even tho I got dick to go round ♫ - ‘Smell yo dick’, Kay Luv
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22nd August 2010
♫ You say its my fault, ok then I'll go...its better to know...how theres nobody to argue with...cuz im not home...dont care who ur with....dont call my phone...or did u forget...u know you're wrong...I'm gone....and you're all alone....hearing your own damn...eh echo eh echo ♫ - ‘Echo’, Gorilla Zoe
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8th September 2010
♫ A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar, They're worth so much more after I'm a goner, And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin', Funny when your dead how people start listenin'...If I die young ♫ - ‘If I die young’, The Band Perry
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10th September 2010
The tao of Jarid: "Facebook is not a place to publish things you wish to remain private. By its very nature, anything put on here voluntarily is for people to notice, see, and by extension comment or ask about. Getting defensive when asked about something YOU put up in the public domain makes no sense."
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11th September 2010
The tao of Jarid: "Women treat the male gene pool like a real pool. They all jump in and splash around the shallow end in their youth...then wade out to the deeper end as they get older."
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15th September 2010
“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar [violin] to a gorilla.” - Jim Bishop
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17th September 2010
Taxi driver on the way home today: "You see men? Especially young men like you? You need to eat raw foods. Lemme tell u the other night I was with my gf and no matter WHAT position I put her in...me deya fight fi cum! FIRST time me haffu TRY cum. All when me done, cocky stiff stiff"
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22nd September 2010
Birthdays on facebook are really opportunities for people that never speak to you to subtly say "I care! Don't delete me! Look how I wrote on ur wall!" lol
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23rd September 2010
The tao of Jarid: The lawyer most people know is the American lawyer. That's why lawyers have a bad name. Caribbean lawyers are nothing like their American counterparts (the laws and practices here are vastly different). People should remember that before they band all "lawyers" together.
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23rd September 2010
Listen, I understand that having a BB means that u can talk to anyone at anytime for free, but seriously...10 grown ppl sitting in a room engrossed in their phones not speaking to each other, is ridiculous. What happend to common courtesy, what happened to meeting new people and saying hi to a stranger? Sheesh. U remind me of little kids in church playing their gameboys.
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26th September 2010
U know what I hate? The fact that hypocrisy is so prevalent. Any time you see someone stand up and strongly take a stand against something...9/10 times they do it. If they vehemently denounce homosexuals, 9/10 times, they're sleeping with little boys. Its SO common now, that I never want to take a strong stand against anything, lest ppl think I secretly do it. Chupz.
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The tao of Jarid: For those of you who believe that "no means no, but unconscious means yes".....a prison cell awaits.
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28th September 2010
The legal way of saying “nigga stole my bike”: “ A human being of the male gender wth black pigmentation on his skin appears 2 have acquired without my consent my 2-wheeled, non-motorized private and/or recreational transportation, also known as "bike", and appears 2 have driven away with said 2-wheeled, non-motorized private and/or recreational transportation, despite my attempt of chasing the said human being, completely ignoring my request 2 give sed item bk” - username iani103. Man, I love my profession.
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1st October 2010
I think women should develop the same "fuck it" mechanism guys have. If there's a baby in the house crying for hours on end...what you will not find is a man around. Y? Cuz we can't fix it and its driving us crazy, so we roll out and go by Tony's house to watch football, i.e. fuk it. More women should do that instead of staying in the stress and snapping and shaking their babies to death or driving them into a river.
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The tao of Jarid: Facebook should have a 'WHO CARES?!?' button....and make my page immune to it.
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2nd October 2010
The tao of Jarid: The more "LMAO"s and "LOLOLOL"s your status contains, the less funny the actual subject matter is. Contrary to popular belief, nothing gets funnier the more you laugh at it by yourself.
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Grown men's fascination with penitentiary pussy confuses me... Sex with it = go to prison. What's the problem? Where's the option? All I see is "Sex with prison". No thanks. That's like the "option" 'get in this dark van so I can drive u to my abandoned cabin in the woods or I shoot you'. All I should be hearing is *gunshot*.
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4th October 2010
The tao of Jarid: Drama vampires are not cool. While the rest of us need food and water to live, these creatures survive solely off drama and other people viewing it. The only effective way to deal with them is to block and delete them from everything. If you can't see their drama, they weaken and die. True story.
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“I think when you put sex and spirituality in the same bottle and shake it up, bad things happen. Yes, I said I kissed a girl. But I didn’t say I kissed a girl while f-ing a crucifix.” - Katy Perry (on why she dislikes Lady Gaga’s music video for ‘Alejandro’)
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5th October 2010
"This is my facade of civility; do not mistake for complacency, for once this veil is taken down, you'll see a vicious turn around...of all you grew to know and love...the hand lying beneath the glove.... An animal living in a shell. A beast who's come to raise all hell."
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6th October 2010
The tao of Jarid: Forget CNN, BBC or any other news organisation....nowhere else are world issues more discussed than on YouTube's comments section
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8th October 2010
You are one person, out of 7 billion people, on one planet, out of 8 planets, in one solar system out of a hundred billion solar systems, in one galaxy out of a hundred billion galaxies.......you are ENORMOUSLY insignificant, and don't let facebook ever make you forget that. [De-motivational Speech for the day]
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11th October 2010
Anybody remember when they FIRST came on fb YEARS ago? How it used to be? How Fb made hi5 look like the social networking ghetto? It was so clean and neat and classy. "Jarid Hewlett", likes, interests, lil about myself. Send ur friends who u havent seen since primary school messages. It was a magical innocent time. Why did you people have to rape facebook? Why?
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Now? as NC17 says, no more "Jarid Hewlett", we have "Jarid fuckspussyallday Hewlett", we have "What kind of telly tubby would u have sex with?" quizzes, we have people fighting over who their baby's daddy is for the world to see. (Btw when did this shit become acceptable? Not knowing which guy ejaculated inside and impregnated you is something people used to be ashamed of and settle in private...why is it cool to broadcast this now?), we have break ups where guys blatantly put their numbers under "X is no longer in a relationship".....
What happened to CLASS??? I understand they don't teach that in school, but they bloody well should. No one comes on fb to keep in touch with people anymore. And the ones that do, spend 20% of their total fb time doing that. The rest of us laugh or bow our heads in sadness at the ridiculous shit people post. I'm black and I hate racists and racism, but goddamn it....sometimes, as much as I hate to admit it.....I see where they're coming from. <sigh>
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15th October 2010
♫ We're going out tonight...to kick out every light, take anything we want, drink everything in sight, we're going till the world stops turning while we burn it to the ground tonight! ♫ - ‘Burn it to the ground’, Nickelback
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21st October 2010
The tao: Men get bitter, just as women do. The difference is, a bitter woman will say "fuck men" and never have sex again. A bitter man will say "fuck women" and do just that.
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26th October 2010
The tao: "All inclusive" does not mean "free cheap rum and vodka with juice". Stop the false advertising.
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27th October 2010
The tao: Having high standards doesn't necessarily exempt you from whoredom. While we all agree that having low to no standards makes one a ho, having high, meaningless standards makes one a ho too. "I only sleep with guys that drive BMWs" is a high standard. It is not a substantive standard.
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♫ And who do you think you are? Running round leaving scars....Collecting your jar of hearts, tearing love apart........You’re gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul.........So don’t come back for me, who do you think you are? ♫ - ‘Jar of Hearts’, Christina Perri
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28th October 2010
"Labour all de way"? "UPP all de way?".....come on, man. I'm "all the way" with whoever makes Antigua a better country. Politics has come to mean arbitrary following of a party that makes your immediate life better regardless of the long term. Don't even get me started on 'patriotism'.
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31st October 2010
The tao: He who is slow to anger gets annoyed the longest.
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1st November 2010
♫....you just hurt my goddamn feelings, and that was the last one I had ♫ - ‘Here we go’, Eminem
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2nd November 2010
Lawyer talk: My Lord, my client was not anywhere near the building when the window was broken, and if he was, he did not break the window, and if he did break the window, he did so by accident, and if he didn't break it by accident, it wasn't the complainant's window, and if it was their window, it was their fault for putting it where my client throws stones.
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8th November 2010
Mr. Kartel, you sir, have lied to me.....apparently women do not want a man whose "buddy long like a thousand match stick line up"....apparently that hurts and more than 90% of it will be outside anyway. You have misled me sir, and I demand an apology.
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10th November 2010
On a serious note.....which do you think is more "loving" and less "heartless"? (Option A) Being in a relationship and cheating gratuitously on your significant other? Or (Option B) breaking up with your significant other who probably didn't see it coming, because you want to sleep with someone else?
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11th November 2010
The tao: No one really sees anything. Everyone thinks they see something. I might think I see a pudgy, ugly woman, you might think you see a curvy goddess. Who knows whats actually there...The difference between sane and insane people is that insane people are just a little more creative with what they think they see....and nothing can change their mind.
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14th November 2010
The tao: If someone tells you something you don't understand, don't repeat it. It might have been wisdom when they told you...but after your brain is done with it, there's a high chance it comes back out as crap.
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15th November 2010
"You're Cuban AND Jamaican?? That's a really.....illegal mix, lol. So you speak Spanish and bloodclaat?" - Mike Yard (*dead*)
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17th November 2010
The tao: One should never let emotions get in the way of reality. Sometimes people just don't appreciate you no matter how you feel about them. That's ok. Someone does.
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19th November 2010
♫ Well I'm a poet to some, a regular modern day Shakespeare.....Jesus Christ, the King of these latter day saints here ♫ - ‘Renegade’, Jay-Z & Eminem
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25th November 2010
The tao: Whenever you think "don't let a good thing pass you by"....remember that many things are only good now BECAUSE you let them pass you by at first. Don't be afraid to let go.
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26th November 2010
"If my wanting to see you was on a scale of 1-10.....I'd still say no". It takes a while to fully appreciate just how horrible this statement is.
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27th November 2010
U know what I just realized..?..The first time I listened to the Marshall Mathers LP was on *cassette*...in my * Walkman*....that Michael Henry had copied for me.....I'm gonna reserve my rocking chair in the old folks home from now, see...
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The tao: Stop saying "I'm just me". Everyone is just them. If you choose to be someone who tries to be like other people, that's still who you are. You are just a personalityless ninny, but it's still who YOU are. You can't ever be anything else but you. "I'm just me" is like saying "I breathe oxygen". No shit.
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♫ Me start da day wit a flask, cranberry an ice inna glass....satellite can't find me me lost....buy me own liquor cuz me a me own boss....drink fi drunk dat me endorse....OH ♫ - ‘Rum & Red Bull’, Beenie Man &Future Fambo
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30th November 2010
Seriously....if I read one more comment under a political story with someone urging people to "wake up", I'm going to slap somebody. I always find it fascinating that politics turns otherwise sensible people into jackasses. "Belief is the enemy of reality".
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Lesbians have life so easy.....girls are very gay normally, lol. Dressing in front of each other, dancing up with one another, feeling up one another etc.....you could pretty much spend ur whole life being a lesbian and no one would ever know once u lie every now and again about some boy u find hot.
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"The fact is governments deal with the United States because it's in their interest, not because they like us, not because they trust us and not because they think we can keep secrets," - US Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. If that's not gangsta, I dunno what is...
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2nd December 2010
♫ I love my life....none a we don't know wey tomorrow might bring cuz the future deh hours away...so me go live my life today...me ah live my life today...so lowe me mek me talk what me want fi talk, me have nuff fi say...so me go live my life today...me ah go live my life today ♫ - ‘I love my life’, Demarco
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7th December 2010
The tao: Never overestimate the power of friendship.
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9th December 2010
♫ De boy ketch me a stamp up him gyal postcard....want arrest me but....him anna sarge....he nah stop tell me how him a camouflage....never voice ya hear from him vocal cord because.....a we mek nuff man start drink Guinness ♫ - ‘A we’, Hawkeye
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11th December 2010
The tao: The next time someone you thought you mattered to lets you down, always remember that its not their fault you don't have better friends.
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17th December 2010
Men beware: "Your mouth says no, but your eyes say yes" will never ever stand up in court.
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19th December 2010
The tao: Stop bitching about the 'true meaning' of Christmas. People like presents. Deal with it.
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21st December 2010
The tao: Put on a jamaican accent and include "bloodclaat" or "bumboclaat" and any sentence becomes five times funnier. E.g. "Where are u going, u unhygienic homosexual?" "Yow, a where dis dutty skin, yellow teet, shitty draws BUMBOCLAAT battybwoy a go?" Same message. Five times funnier.
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25th December 2010
The tao: "I have a boyfriend".........."Babes....you can have ALL the boyfriends you want...not "a", not "some".....ALL.....me still want u". - This conversation will always go like this. Saying you have a boyfriend is not a substitute for saying no.
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30th December 2010
New year new me! "Are u getting a sex change?" What? no..... "Are you changing careers?" Um..no.. "Are you radically overhauling your entire personality?" Not really... "Shut up and sit down"
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16 Couples Who Waited To Have Sex Until Marriage Talk About How Things Turned Out
1. Sucked at first, but got better
Probably not a typical experience, but I never had PIV until the night of of my wedding with my wife (now of 8 years). Sex sucked at first, especially for her. But it’s amazing now, albeit a bit less frequent. Still getting better with time.
2. It was a big mistake
My wife and I weren’t 100% abstinent before marriage, but close. When we first started dating we fooled around some, but then she felt like waiting was the right thing to do so we didn’t do anything else until we got married.
Right when we first got married sex was alright. We did it pretty frequently, I guess. Not so much now though.
It was a mistake. Fuck abstinence. It’s the worst.
3. Awful relationship
Not my experience but my parents. They did not partake in premarital sex for religious reasons but they are pretty compatible in bed. Awkward for me to know but I still know.
However, their marriage itself wasn’t that great. They only moved in with each other after marriage before realizing that they weren’t compatible as a couple. After 20 years of fighting and divorce threats…they are still amazingly together.
4. Their sex drives are 100% different
A very good male friend of mine didn’t have sex with his current wife until after they got married (her idea), turns out that she basically hates sex and he LOVES it…they have been married 12 years bf he can count how many times they have had sex (less than 10 times).
Suffice it to say, he wouldn’t recommend waiting…
5. It didn’t hurt us
My husband and I were semi-abstinent (no PIV) for religious reasons, and didn’t live together before we got married (dated 5 years). Have now been married 2.5 years. We have a very healthy marriage and active sex life, in my opinion.
To be fair, we are more part of the Christian left and have always been sex-positive. I’m not sure if I still believe it’s essential to abstain until marriage, but it was very important to my partner, and it didn’t hurt us.
6. It ended up going great
IT’S GOING AWESOME. We didn’t have genital contact (or sight haha). He didn’t even pat my butt. We decided that would be too hard not to push the boundary if that was allowed. Ya gotta draw the line somewhere, I guess. We also didn’t talk about sex explicitly because it turned us on too much. We were pretty horny.
I think it helped us to learn how to work well together and know each other without adding in an element that can cloud the clarity in a relationship. It was also a major trust builder in each other. We accomplished something huge together, and stayed strong for each other.
We love having sex. We do it at least 2-3 times a week, and we’ve been together for over 4 years. It’s cool that neither of us can compare each other to anyone else. Special, sacred, intimate, exciting.
7. Sex has never been a problem
Great after 14 years. While we have had our own challenges, sex has never been one. We were both open about our absolute lack of sexual experience and have had a good time exploring it together exclusively
8. Glad we waited!
My husband and I waited. We don’t have any issues with our relationship because of it. We talked a lot about what our expectations would be and how we would approach it in our marriage. I’m glad we waited. It has been a learning curve sure, but we’ve been married for almost three years now and have a descent sex life. There’s been some short dry spells sure to health issues but we love each other very much and try to make the other person happy.
9. Regret not sleeping with other people
We were both pretty religious when we got married 12 years ago. We dry humped before then but that’s as far as it went. Sex was difficult for her physically at first. This was pretty discouraging for me because it was a turn off to think I was hurting her. Also a lot of lubes tended to irritate her. Also oral would make her jaw lock. So yeah, it was not that great at first.
It got better over the years. We found lubes that worked. However I stopped being religious 5 years ago. She still is. My beliefs about sex have totally changed. I have regrets about the fact that I will probably never be able to experience someone else physically. This is not to say I an dissatisfied with my wife, just that I kick myself for never exploring.
10. Brought us closer together
Still happily married 17 years later. I think it was very good because it forced us to spend time really getting to know each other while we were dating.
11. Sex was awkward at first, but it worked out
We’ve on been married less than a year as of now, but it’s going great. Of course sex was awkward at first but we had it pretty well figured out by the end of our honeymoon trip, and it’s only been getting better!
Being married is awesome, especially to such an amazing woman. I’m convinced that waiting until marriage was the correct course of action, because it allowed us to get married based on our real-world, day-to-day compatibility rather than being distracted by the bliss of intimacy. Certainly not a popular point of view, but it definitely worked for us
12. Destroyed my friend’s marriage
Not me but a lady friend. She married right after college because her SO was in the military and going to be deployed. They abstained until marriage. The sex was bad. Painful for her and I’m guessing because of that not all that enjoyable for him either. Her doctor diagnosed her with Vaginismus (a condition wherein your vaginal wall involuntarily spasms during intercourse I guess?) so she just thought it was her fault and she would never enjoy sex.
When they got back to the states and her husband went back to school they broke up for other reasons. She started dating other people and realized that sex could actually be good.
I don’t know particularly why it didn’t work with her first husband but it’s true that some people just aren’t compatible.
13. Got better over time
For religious reasons we were not only abstinent, we didn’t touch at all before marriage. The most contact we had in advance of tying the knot was we were once both sitting in the back seat of a car with a carefully delineated line of space between us and the car swerved and his leg briefly brushed against mine.
It was stressful because I was worried about all this sexual incompatibility other people talk about. But I did whatever due diligence I could manage under those constraints – we had several frank discussions about kink and experimentation and sex toys and comfort levels and at what point we’d get help if things weren’t working etc etc. I also made him buy me a vibrator- it seemed like a good symbolic gesture of “we will both work to have orgasms yes we will”. (and lube. We both bought lube. We didn’t really end up needing it but we had it available.)
The first time was mediocre but not painful, I don’t think it’s fair to expect more than that, given that we hadn’t yet worked out the positions, rhythms, etc that really worked for us. It got progressively better from there, I’m very satisfied.
I guess the surprise is that I was expecting my libido to be… Lower. But I admitted this to a friend and she laughed at me so maybe I was in denial I don’t know.
Other than that? Well, I really respect and admire and like him. I only got really infatuated after we were already married, so it’s nice knowing my non-hormone-addled mind also thinks he’s fantastic…
14. We waited, and have great sex
The most we did while dating/engaged was one heavy make out session. No groping, even. We’ve been married 5 years and have sex or he gets a bj nearly every single night, unless he’s tired or sick. I love the d, and have declined sex only once I can think of in the last several months. It worked out for us.
15. It almost destroyed our lives
Wife wanted to stay a virgin until marriage—too late for me by the time I met her, but I respected her wishes even when I was deeply depressed about it—turns out her libido is significantly lower than mine… After eighteen years of concealing my mental anguish, instead of cheating, I risked everything in asking for an ‘open marriage’ (she agreed!), and our (revised ‘polyamorous’) relationship is so much better, now.
It is fundamentally stupid/irrational to commit to monogamous marriage before you even know if you’re sexually compatible! Save yourself decades of heartache, ladies and gentlemen, and “try before you buy”!
16. “Waiting was the most dumbass thing I ever did.”
I am so late to this party but I have to chime in. Been married 26 years. We abstained from sex because of religion. Before marriage he went up my shirt once. I remember one time we sort of grinded a bit. He came but I didn’t know at the time.
Then marriage and 2 people who didn’t know what a clit was or where it was located. I cried a lot. I thought I was dysfunctional. We bought a vibrator in desperation. We both had no idea what to do with it. One night he went to work and I was determined to figure it out. Had my first orgasm at 21. Told him about it and we went from there.
Years passed and sex seemed pretty good. Had several children. I was still a bit frigid I think. I eventually left our oppressive religion. A few years later he followed.
We finally worked thru the religious sexual bullshit. Started having really mind blowing sex. I was blown away. I never knew it could be that good.
Eventually we opened up the marriage. However it didn’t work out. I was with men that sucked in bed. They were mostly selfish. He dipped his dick in crazy a few times. Idk how single guys deal with a lot of women cuz mostly we experienced cray cray.
We closed the marriage back up, at least for now and it’s been amazing. Excellent sex 4-5 times a week. More in the summer because of less work stress for both of us.
Have sex before you make a legal contract. Waiting is the most dumbass thing I ever did.
bella0520
Read more: http://tcat.tc/2jFM4hq
from 16 Couples Who Waited To Have Sex Until Marriage Talk About How Things Turned Out
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