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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 3 years

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The Critique of Manners Part VI

~Or~

An Attempt at an Objective Review of Emma (2009)... VOLUME TWO

Haha, bitches you didn't think I could wait a whole week did you? Nah, not me. and guys, I added to it--all total, it's 9,023 words now. this half of the review is 5,214. HOW DO I HAVE SO MANY WORDS FOR THIS THING? I'm not gonna split it into a third part, because I don't need to for picture limit purposes, but buckle in.

If you didn't catch it, read part 1 here

Here it is, the stunning conclusion to my Emma Adaptation Review series (but this isn't really the end because I plan on doing some rankings later). In this half of my review of BBC'S Emma (2009) we'll discuss Costumes and all the very specific things that I love about this version, and some things I don't like, and some things I'm here to defend.

Let's dive in!

Costumes

Generally I liked these costumes pretty well. They were designed and facilitated by Rosalind Ebbutt, also known for her work on PBS’s Victoria and Vanity Fair (1998). And her work is, as her filmography would suggest, by turns, great and so-so.

These costumes are definitely in line with the adaptation’s general aesthetic: warm pinks and golds, with mints emeralds and blues to cool it off a little, are the order of the day. I really appreciate that every character has a definite color palette. The tradeoff is that this adaptation is the WORST EVER offender for the Jane Fairfax Blue™ trope.

Daywear

Emma’s daywear is full of warm and muted colors. Salmon and magenta are commonly seen. I love that most of Emma’s daywear consists of sleeveless or short-sleeved gowns with wide-sleeved linen blouses underneath. It’s not a commonly seen aesthetic so it feels light and fresh. My favorite of Emma’s daywear dresses is the pale yellow with purple floral print.

There’s one other in particular that I love.

Emma’s blue, sleeveless dress. I love this because of HOW OBVIOUSLY it’s a reference to this portrait of Charlotte, Princess of Wales. I mean...

I’M NOT IMAGINING THIS, RIGHT? WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS? This is a REAL dress. They still have this exact gown of Princess Charlotte’s. It’s on display. It’s faded, but it’s the same dress.

Harriet has a fresh and innocent green, white and purple color scheme with healthy doses of peach and pink showing. I particularly like her white and purple floral print dress.

Mrs. Weston’s color palette varies, but leans heavily on tans and purples, which is very flattering, I must say, to Johdi May’s coloring and is really refreshing for Mrs. Weston who seems to get stuck in pinks and yellows a lot. No idea what’s going on with the laced-front dress though? This doesn’t quite read as authentic to me, but I do like that her first dress seems to be an apron-front.

I know I already said that this is the worst Jane Fairfax Blue™ offender, but guys I can’t stress it enough. WE ARE 5/5 ON DAYWEAR HERE. LOOK AT THAT. (Also of note, Jane 5 is one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s dresses from the '96 Emma.)

Mrs. Elton seems, at all times, to be wearing some form of pink, but I think I’m right in saying that the white day dress with the rose patterned bodice under the yellow and pink spencer is one of Jane’s dresses from P&P ’80. Can anyone confirm that? They did sneak in some Mrs. Elton Orange™ though, for Box Hill, and it’s worth noting that Mrs. Elton is the only lady who’s appropriately dressed on that occasion.

Isabella gets some understated day gowns that are very nice and also VERY “Jane Austen” in the sense that I feel like Jane Austen herself might have worn them.

Miss Bates, unfortunately is slapped with brown at just about every turn, but at least her “Nice” day outfit has some subtle leaf patterns, which is refreshing. Also Mrs. Goddard has a slappin’ cap. Love that.

Also, Harriet’s Grecian costume for the painting (upper right hand corner). What can I say, but that I love it. I love that it hints at the neoclassical influences on Regency fashion too. This is my favorite interpretation of the painting too.

Evening Wear

You know what I love about this version? It’s the first version of Emma where her gown for the Crown in Ball isn’t WHITE. I know, I know white was fashionable, but it’s just… it’s nice for not EVERY gown in a ball scene to be plain white friggin muslin and also, it’s not one she’s ever worn before, which is great.

Harriet does have only white evening gowns but that’s okay. My only complaint is that, specifically on her Crown Inn dress and in a lot of her costumes in general, the waistline seems just a little low. Hmm. I really like the pale blue pattern on her first evening dress though.

Mrs. Weston though. Woo. Look at those. She has a dark chartreuse gown with black lace trim that any other version would have put on Mrs. Elton, so you know from the dark tones that she’s a bitch. Not so with Emma '09, and that’s good. And her teal dinner number is a favorite of mine. I never paid much attention to her green and gold ball gown but it has some really beautiful, subtle leaf or maybe peacock feather patterns on it and I love that. My only problem is that there seem to be some fit issues. She’s got muffin top way too often. Her orange evening dress is a bit of a dud though, firstly, because it has long sleeves (which is an evening gown no-no) and the fabric slaps a bit too much of sari fabric for my tastes.

Jane, not only is put in blue with both of her evening gowns (although one is so pale it borders on white), ONE of them is another Emma ’96 repeat and not only that, it’s one of Jane Fairfax’s dresses in that film! Perhaps that’s enough to make it an homage, and I have to say, I think Laura Pyper wore it better.

Miss Bates only has one evening wear ensemble, but at least it’s cream and not brown.

Mrs. Elton’s gowns are surprisingly understated, and yet still seem to be annoyingly fussy and, what’s better? They’re not sickly green. One of them is actually a very pleasant mint.

Outerwear

Outerwear is roundly pretty great here. Emma’s primary choice of color for spencers is emerald/evergreen and one of them is Elizabeth’s Bennet’s from the 1995 P&P (though to be honest, I think Jennifer Ehle filled it out better.) I do love Mrs. Elton’s pink and yellow number with the slashed sleeves. Jane Fairfax’s only spencer is, you guessed it, blue, but her friend Miss Campbell has a rather fun mauve one.

There’s no shortage of pelisses and redingotes either. Harriet can be seen in one borrowed from Elinor Dashwood in the '08 S&S, Mrs. Weston has a rather fabulous purple one which she wears with the most delicious looking hat I’ve ever seen.

Emma has two. The first one is a great magenta number with military braiding (and I think she wears with it one of the brown slouch hats that Kate Beckinsale wore in the same role) and while the other pelisse is brown, they had the sense not to make her wear a hat with it that was also brown. Instead, they gave her a contrasting color. Good on ya, Rosalind!

Speaking of hats, I don't often single them out for commentary, but I want to here because… the hat authenticity is… kinda spotty. Let me show you.

Okay first of all, Emma may be a teenager in this pic on the upper left, but she is not dressed formally enough for her sister’s wedding (which is what’s going on in this scene) but at least her hat is pretty good. You can see the ribbons are on the inside of the hat here, which is as it should be… but she never wears this hat again. At any point in the series. Instead, we next see her in the one on the upper right and ye gads this is atrocious. WHY IS HER HAT NOT PINNED ON? IT’S SLIDING DOWN THE BACK OF HER HEAD. SOMONE FIX IT. PLEASE. But wait, there’s more. This kills me because these bottom two are so similar to the one she wore earlier (the correct one) but crappier looking. Jeez.

This is not a hat. It’s a peanut. You know who doesn’t have this problem? Harriet. She only has one sun hat but at least it’s correct.

I also wanna touch briefly on this ^ costume continuity issue.

WTF is this? She’s in the hall, her ribbon is contoured to the line of her dress; she goes into the drawing room and… it isn’t anymore? Wha happun?

I took more menswear screencaps for this version than any other version. And that’s because the men just have more outfits that are, y’know, different from each other.

Mr. Knightley is as understated as ever, but I wanna highlight the first pic there and why I love it. This is Knightley’s first appearance in the series and it’s the perfect establishing shot that shows the viewer everything they need to know about Emma and Knightley’s relationship and how it has always been. He sort of materializes, out of focus in the background, but Emma immediately knows he’s there. And to accentuate how much Knightley is part of her home and scenery, his clothes (similar shades of pale tan, white and minty green to the wall behind him) almost camouflage him and make him seem at one with the moulding.

He also has a rather lovely blue evening waistcoat that I WISH I could have gotten better shot of (although I do believe it’s also worn by Henry Crawford in the '07 Mansfield Park, so for further reading…)

Mr. Weston finally gets to wear clothes that aren’t all brown! He only has ONE brown outfit. He gets PATTERNED waistcoats, one of them a rather spiffing blue and brown striped number. And he wears TROUSERS! Because he’s a gentleman, and he’s not that old and trousers are worn by fashionable gentlemen in this period!

You know who else gets to wear trousers and at least one fun waistcoat? Mr. Woodhouse. Check out that lovely Sunday Best™ waistcoat. The red striped one. That’s delightful.

John Knightley’s evening wear intrigues me. That’s a double-breasted jacket, and you know I’m not totally sure that’s very authentic for evening-wear of this period, but it is different. Unfortunately he also has a flared top hat and that is definitely not on for this period.

One of my favorite things about this version is that they don’t dress Mr. Elton as a clergyman all the time. Yes, he may be the vicar, but he’s also allowed to dress like a fashionable, handsome young man. So I’m really happy that he gets to flex his fashion muscles here.

And speaking of fashionable young men, FINALLY frank gets to be COLORFUL and his trousers are even tight enough. Both he AND Elton are often seen wearing TWO waistcoats, as I would expect them to, and even though Frank’s a dandy, he knows that flashiness is gauche so his pops of color are bright, but not in your face. His green and red waistcoats are always worn under more muted colors, and I just love it.

The only problems are… what’s with the turned-down waistcoat collars? There’s no precedent for this, in fact I think it’s directly contradictory to the style at the time, and also it makes the cravats look a bit unruly.

A Critique of Manners

A lot has been said about the manners in this adaption. Like, the actual manners, body language and facial expressions, specifically vis-à-vis Romola Garai.

And, oh yeah, there’s a lot to pick at here, but first I’d like to talk about the facial expressions.

I'm mostly gonna be talking out of my ass here, but this is my take, so if anyone can make a better argument against my points, I am listening, because I don't really like talking out of my ass and I like to be informed. That said...

I tend to be lenient on the… exaggerated facial expressions because, something I’ve noticed reading Austen’s works through the last several months is that Austen is very descriptive when it comes to facial expressions and I just find it hard to believe that people in the Regency Era never made exaggerated expressions like this.

I’ve heard a lot about how Garai’s Emma is not dignified or lady-like. But let’s think about the context of Emma Woodhouse – she’s never been in society. She’s only had a governess to teach her, and we know Emma’s always been sort of averse to being told what she can and can’t do. Emma is the highest ranking woman in her social circle (barring Isabella’s occasional presence). Emma doesn’t have to be ladylike. At 21, she’s already her local Lady Catherine. She puts a lot of stock in her position in society but, as Mrs. Elton will be the first to hypocritically point out, she’s very poorly behaved. I'd be very curious to see what would happen if Emma went to London for the season. Probably, she'd be seen, comparatively, as a country bumpkin. Can you imagine how she might get on in a sea of accomplished young ladies? She can barely handle having ONE rival with any kind of grace.

Austen never describes bodily movements of the kind we’re looking at when we watch adaptations, so why not have Emma’s body-language be un-ladylike in the conventional sense of the time? I’m not saying this to excuse the absolutely inexcusable (Frank’s head in her lap, kneeling on the sofa backwards etc.), but while Emma’s mannerisms aren’t exactly ladylike for her time, they’re not overtly masculine either (which was one of my biggest problem with Death Comes to Pemberly for example.)

Yes, there’s an ideal for manners. But we know real people didn’t always follow those ideals. In dancing for example, many dancing guidebooks of the day were full of repeated instructions not to be too loud or rambunctious when dancing. What this tells us is that people were doing just that, and probably quite a bit, too. I think that, while taking societal strictures into account, we shouldn’t totally discount the idea that people in the Regency weren’t really that different from us, and young people especially.

Now I’ve already mentioned some of the inexcusable aspects of interaction in this adaptation and they’re so notorious at this point, I don’t think that I really need to go over them much here. Although I will say: is it ridiculous to have Frank Churchill put his head in Emma’s lap? Yes. Did it make me more viscerally uncomfortable with the situation on Box Hill than any other version? Yes.

I was like, 14 when I watched this the first time. This was an effective way to telegraph to young people like me that Emma is being extremely inappropriate here in a way that no other version really managed to, even when I watched them when I was older and understood the period more. I’m far more acquainted with Regency manners than I was then, but to be honest – if they had been accurate with the manners here, when I was 14 I would not have understood what the big deal was. Is there merit in circumventing historical accuracy in favor of reaching a less-informed but still-interested audience? Yes, I think so. There were three other versions of this, at that point, that did this scene with more or less pristine manners. Not every version has to follow the manners of the time to-the-letter to be good. That’s my feeling on the matter.

There are things that do really bother me though. Like the idea that Harriet Smith doesn’t know how to spoon soup, for instance. As I said in my review for the Miramax version, table manners are pretty basic, there’s no reason Mrs. Goddard wouldn’t have taught Harriet this. It does provide a good moment to show Emma tacitly coaching Harriet and showing the trajectory in which this relationship will go, but personally I don’t think it was necessary—there are plenty of other ways that could be done.

Also: kids at the dinner table? I know this is part of building the familial atmosphere but it really does annoy me, because apart from building the familial atmosphere (which they do very well and frequently in other ways) it really didn’t need to happen, and it doesn’t add anything.

The Heart of Highbury

So, as I’ve hinted at throughout this review, the bread and butter of this adaptation of Emma is emotion. This version goes hard and heavy on showingthe relationships – Emma’s relationships with Mrs. Weston, Mr. Knightley, her father, her sister, her brother-in-law, Miss Bates; Jane’s relationship with Frank; Frank’s relationship with his father; The John Knightleys’ home life – and it illustrates things that can be surmised from just reading the story, but really draws your attention to them in ways that other adaptations just don’t.

It does this from the very beginning with the prologue which explains in detail (not just in quick exposition between characters) how Jane and Frank were separated from their families at young ages. We know now, from psychological study, that being taken away from their primary caretakers during their formative years is one of the most psychologically traumatizing things for a child. This is deeply important context which is explained in detail by the narrator in 2-3 large pages (in my Barnes & Noble anthology) in the book.

In the featurette on the houses, they talk particularly about Hartfield and the Woodhouses being the heart of Highbury and how they particularly wanted it to feel homey because Hartfield is Emma’s house and they wanted the audience to feel why everyone is so drawn to it, and to Emma; to me that is what they did with the whole adaptation in microcosm.

I usually talk a bit about the dancing and I'm going to here as well because this is maybe the most special dance scene in any Austen for me. Of course I'm going to link to Tea with Cassiane as usual because she knows what she's talking about and I don't. But I wanna add some comments. She gives this a pretty low rating in spite of a generally favorable commentary because of two big oopsies, the circle dance formation is one, and the other is I believe, an issue with the style of dance not matching the tune in Emma's dance with Knightley. Throwing out any objective technical analysis though, this is my favorite Ball in any Austen and it all comes down to the cornerstone of this adaptation--emotion.

All of the songs and dances were original compositions and choreography made for this adaptation. So they're not period per se, but the tunes at least are representative of how Regency dance music should sound. These dances are upbeat, and lively and, damn they look like fun. Everyone is excited here and it makes me understand why dancing was such a big thing. Best of all that excitement adds to the emotional charge of the scene. "The Ship's Cook" is the most fast paced dance and I'm glad they made this the dance where Elton snubs Harriet because it really hits for me just what Harriet would be missing out on if Knightley wasn't so fucking aptly named. In all other versions you get the insult, but the dance that's taking place is usually a Baroque walker so it doesn't seem terribly like she's missing out on much. Here, this is like not getting picked for kickball-- not only is it a slight that no one wants you on their team, but you miss out on even playing the game. Harriet looks so lonely, and her feeling of being out of place rolls off of Louise Dylan so forcefully it chokes me up just thinking about it because I've been there, man. I feel this shit. *dabs eyes*. Ahem. So, yes, when Knightley engages her for the dance the excitement the viewer feels is that much more forceful and Harriet's exuberantly starting to jump in when the timing is off and Knightley gently pulling her back, it just hits me in the feels center, guys. (I wanna take a moment to give a shout out to every camp counselor who ever partnered with me for any game at summer camp.) Emma's reaction too, is gold. Her genuine relief at Knightley swooping in is one of those great reminders that Emma is Harriet's friend, and she does care about her.

Finally on the dancing front, I wanna talk about Emma's dance with Knightley and why I prefer it to the one in the 2020 version. I already talked about this a bit in the 2020 review, so I'm gonna try and keep it brief. That shouldn't be too hard, because I'm probably mostly going to repeat a lot of what I've already said about Emma and Knightley in this version as a whole.

The big thing everyone loves about the Crown Inn dance in the 2020 is the yearning, the sexual tension, the quivering touches etc. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all of those things but... not all the time. Not in everything, and definitely not in Emma. Because Emma, to me, isn't about repressed sexuality or heated tension or seething passion. Emma and Knightley are the opposite of that, to me, really. One of my mutuals put it best, I think: "Emma and Knightley are more suited to stolen glances than hot touches."

In Part 1 I talked about how Knightley is Emma's comfort object. When Emma is out of sorts, Knightley re-centers her. It helps set up, and puts emphasis on, the crisis of the story in the last act--Emma not knowing what she has until [she thinks] she's lost it. Emma and Knightley are Friends to Lovers done as it should be. She is already so comfortable with him she doesn't even realize her own feelings. She just feels right with Knightley and that's what this dance is here to show you--a foreshadowing of matrimonial harmony.

The dance itself, of course, is always up to interpretation, because Austen never describes how it goes, just that Knightley asks Emma to dance and Knightley doesn't dance (barring charitable causes). If you prefer the sexual tension take, if that, to you is an improvement on Austen's story and gives you what you've always felt was missing, I'm glad that there is a version now that gives you what you've been looking for, but for me, I think the 09 approach hits closer their dynamic in the book.

Now do I do think the Emphasis on emotion maybe went a little too earnest in some places in this adaptation? Maybe. Just a little.

In my last review (1972) I went on a rather lengthy tirade about the scene where they turn Emma’s appeals to Harriet to exert herself and move on following Mr. Elton’s marriage into Emma guilting Harriet into thinking she’s a bad friend for being heartbroken and then throwing her into the situation most likely to rub salt in that particular wound.

In this version, while I love the emphasis they put on the stress Emma puts on her own guilt for being the reason for Harriet’s situation in the first place, I think it’s maybe a little too… much.

That’s the only way I can put it. I know I’ve just said that I think there should be a bit more expressiveness in period drama, but this doesn’t quite match the way I read it (Emma’s a bit less desperate in Austen’s prose. Very dedicated to helping Harriet feel better, but just a skosh more composed). I think she’s even crying in this scene.

While we’re here let’s go over to Box Hill ONE. MORE. TIME.

First of all, this is where this screenplay shines, in my opinion. This is the big turning point in the story and as such, should be a touchstone for the judgment of any adaptation. This sequence in the 2009 version is a perfect crystallization of everything I love about this version—namely that this is the version that, to me, most feels like someone read the book thoroughly, paid attention to what Austen was describing and then actually tried to convey it on screen. A lot of other versions sort of feel (to me), like the director glanced at the page and said “here’s what I want to convey in my version”. Insofar as making a piece of art goes, that’s good. Directors are artists as much as painters are and movies are their canvass, but it’s seldom that you find a director who honestly wants to hit as close to the author intent as possible and this Box Hill sequence makes me feel like that’s what Jim O’Hanlon was going for. I have the book open next to me as I write this and it’s shocking to me how minutely the atmosphere described in the book is conveyed here. Most of all, the fact that Emma’s insulting Miss Bates is not the only thing faux pas she makes here. Box Hill as a whole is a disaster, and it’s largely because of Frank.

“When they all sat down it was better; to [Emma’s] taste, a great deal better, for Frank Churchill grew talkative and gay, making her his first object. To amuse her, and to be agreeable in her eyes, seemed to be all that he cared for—and Emma, glad to be enlivened, and not sorry to be flattered, was gay and easy too, and gave him all the friendly encouragement, the admission to be gallant, which she had ever given in the first and most animating period of their acquaintance; but which now, in her own estimation, meant nothing, though in the judgment of most people looking on it must have had such an appearance as no English word but flirtation could very well describe. “Mr. Frank Churchill and Miss Woodhouse flirted excessively.” They were laying themselves open to that very phrase—and to having it sent off in a letter to Maple Grove by one lady, to Ireland by another. Not that Emma was gay and thoughtless from any real felicity; it was rather because she felt less happy than she expected. She laughed because she was disappointed…” --Emma, Chapter 43

Most other versions rush through Frank’s “excessive” flirting with Emma (Right in front of Jane) to get to “Three Things Very Dull Indeed” as fast as possible, and yes that’s the crowning horror of Box Hill, but there’s a very intricate setting here, too, and this version has the time to lay back and let it all unfold in the oppressive discomfort of an English summer day.

Even better than all of that though is Knightley confronting Emma after it all goes down. This treatment is neither plaintive, nor aggressive as it was in ‘96 and ‘97 respectively. I’ve already extolled the virtues of Johnny Flynn’s Box Hill rebuke, but for a change I’m not going to zero in on Miller’s performance which is, at least as good as Flynn’s, but on Romola Garai’s, which I find superior to Anya Taylor Joy’s. Specifically, her reaction once she’s alone.

ATJ in the 2020 version immediately breaks down sobbing and it’s hard for me to feel that she’s sobbing for “anger against herself, mortification, and deep concern” or that there’s much self-reflection going on there. To me it rather just feels like she’s crying because she got shouted at. The theatrics of it, to me, feel childish and self-centered.

I don’t feel that with Garai’s performance.

“She was vexed beyond what could have been expressed—almost beyond what she could conceal. Never had she felt so agitated, mortified, grieved, at any circumstance in her life. She was most forcibly struck . . . How could she have exposed herself to such ill opinion in anyone she valued! And how to suffer him to leave her without saying one word of gratitude, of concurrence, of common kindness!

Time did not compose her…” --Emma, Chapter 43

Of course one can make the case that Emma's reaction should be a bit childish because Emma is an immature character, but that's the thing--I can agree with you anywhere else in this story but this is Emma's maturing moment. This is her turning point as a character. It's where we should see her reactions shift from the same childish denial we're used to seeing when Knightley scolds her, because this is different. It's not the usual brushing off of big brother Knightley, this is a young woman reacting to an esteemed friend pointing out how abhorrently inappropriate she's been and her having to admit that to herself.

I didn't really want to drag comparisons to the 2020 film into this, not on this scale at least, but this just jumped out at me the last time I watched the new film and I have to express it somewhere.

What I see in Garai’s performance is desolation and mortification. That shocked tearfulness of knowing you’ve been justly reproached for wrongdoing, but being too frozen in a pretense of composure to actually cry about it until you’re quite sure that no one will see you. And especially when it’s someone you esteem rebuking you, the horror of them leaving before you can admit that they’re right. There’s so much more depth here, I think, and I can’t even quite express what it makes me feel.

The aspect of time not composing her is another thing that they decided to put stress on in this version. Emma looks fucked up in the following scenes. When she goes to see Miss Bates, she clearly either hasn’t slept or has slept very badly. I feel like this is maybe an anticlimactic conclusion to this section but I’m afraid I’m very close to reaching incoherence, so I’m just gonna leave it here.

My absolute favoritest thing about this version though—something that sets it apart from ALL other versions and even adaptations of other Austen stories—is the inclusion of the post-confession conversation.

This is something of a trope in Austen books but it very rarely finds its way into adaptations: confessions of love are out of the way, the hero and heroine settle into an easy an comfortable conversation, glowing with happiness as they explain and laugh over their actions and misinterpretations of each other’s choices. It happens in Pride and Prejudice, in Persuasion, and yes, in Emma. This is the only Austen adaptation, that I've seen, to include this kind of conversation in any kind of detail. The 1995 Pride and Prejudice alludes to the corresponding scene in it its source material, but the lines pulled from it get tossed into the confession scene itself and then it flies through to get to the obligatory wedding—a side effect of rushing through endings, a convention I’m rather tired of.

Emma (2009) takes its time with this, as with all other aspects of this adaptation. For a version that’s so full of energy, its pacing is extremely laid back and comfortable, without dragging. When you hear the gentle musical swell and Emma and Knightley have their kiss (this whole confession sequence is so sweet and wonderful in its own right), you expect that to be it. But no, we cut to them, the picture of contented happiness, sitting together on a bench overlooking Hartfield’s garden, just talking and enjoying being together, with no teasing, no pretense. If Jane Austen stories emphasize anything, it’s the importance of communication in relationships, and I think that’s maybe why she made it a point in almost every story to show her characters communicating their feelings in words, even after all the conflict has been resolved. This is my favorite scene in the whole series (In case it being my header image didn’t make that obvious.)

This is followed rather promptly by a cut to the next day, with Emma bursting in to Donwell in hysterics about how they can’t be married because she won’t leave her father alone.

This is one of those maybe over-the-top choices that a lot of people don’t like, but guys, it was so funny to me when I was fourteen and it still makes me laugh. It might seem outlandish, but to me it’s just the emphasis on personal relationships and emotion coming through again and it always makes me smile.

Final Thoughts

It’s hard for me to give a proper round up of my feelings for this section because I think I’ve poured just about all of my feelings on each aspect into its dedicated sections.

At the end of the day, the only thing that really disappoints me about this version is the number of missed opportunities there are here. One of my favorite parts of reading Austen is when I run across a line in dialogue or narrative that just… slaps. But they never make it into the adaptations. Emma is full of them and I just wish that Sandy Welch could have taken an opportunity to slip a few of them in.

In summary, I think this is a wonderful, heartfelt adaptation aimed at getting to the emotional heart of a story that often gets caught up in the Mean Girl-ness of its main character than the coming of age story that it is. It's one of my favorite period dramas because it's one of the few that really captures the spirit of the source material as it's always felt to me. There's really only two other period dramas that I esteem on the same level as this, and they're North & South (2004) and Jane Eyre (2011) and it's for the same reasons; because they impact me deeply on an emotional level--which is what art is supposed to do--because of how well it captures the essence of the story that I know and love.

So did I succeed in a more objective review of Emma 2009? I' feel like probably not. But I tried my best. It’s so hard to be objective about something that makes you as happy as this adaptation makes me.

Ribbon Rating: Most Agreeable (83 Ribbons)

Tone: 10

Casting: 9

Acting: 9

Scripting: 7

Pacing: 10

Cinematography: 7

Setting: 9

Costumes: 6

Music: 8

Book Accuracy: 8

#emma 2009 #emma woodhouse #mr. knightley #jane austen #jane austen emma #romola garai #jonny lee miller #period dramas #regency

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akaashisbabydoll · 4 years

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that tsukishima fan aesthetic made me love him even more (if that was possible) 🥺🥺 could u make a fashion aesthetic one for nekoma ? 👀👀 u don't have to do absolutely all of them but i'd love to see kenma's and lev's

HI THANK U FOR UR ASK! I HOPE I GAVE JUSTICE TO NEKOMA'S AESTHETIC! And we gonna do them all, we’re not gonna leave anyone behind 💖 its fun to know their personality for the aesthetic 😌

NEKOMA TEAM: Fashion Aesthetic

Tetsurō Kuroo

The captain and the mama cat. He loves to wear shirts with quotes or just images on them. He doesnt wear plain shirts. Mostly his shade is dark. He loves to wear plaid shirts so that his thighs can breathe and at the same time he loves to show it off. He loves wearing accessories, sometimes he wears chains on his pants, belts and bracelets. He usally doesnt wear a watch but he has peircings, not too much just enough that would make him look hotter. Doesnt usally bring a bag, it'll ruin his aesthetic. He loves to wear boots! Black boots! The one that looks heavy af.

Nobuyuki Kai

Boo boo bear 🥺 the warmest of them all. The most approachable one. Everytime you see him you always want to hug him. He loves to wear warm and soft clothes. He has a whole ass closet of knitted clothes. Kuroo once introduced him to plaided pants and he actually liked it and realized that plaid pants are softer on skin compared to jeans. His shade is light, like creamy white kind of color. He doesnt go dark. He loves to wear sneakers or rubber shoes. Doesnt wear any accessories except for a ring that was once gifted by someone. He only carries his wallet and phone.

Morisuke Yaku

Ahhhh the e-boy of the group. The angst aesthetic. He loves to wear necklaces, chains on pants and rings. He doesnt have earings tho. Does not also wear a watch. His shade is dark. His overlays or outer clothes are always dark but inside are light colored clothes, its like a representation of his personality. He doesnt carry a bag that much but when he does its always black, dark blue or dark brown. He loves to wear black boots/black leather loafers. He is very careful on choosing what belt to wear too. The highlight of his aesthetic are the accessories.

Taketora Yamamoto

This guy loves to wear it simple but! He goes with Yaku so they shop in the same necklace store. He doesnt know much about accessories, he just wears them. He loves to wear oversize shirts and pair it with cargo pants, he once wore ripped jeans but when cargo pants was in he definitely went for it. He doesnt go simple with shoes tho. Doesnt wear basic shoes its always chunk or the Balenciaga ones that looks very heavy. He has a collection of chest bags, different types, colors and sizes. Of course the beanie! He loves beanies!

Kenma Kozume

This adorable baby has the same aesthetic as Kuroo. Not really similar, theres a few difference. Unlike Kuroo, Kenma loves to carry bags. Thats where he place his extra batteries for his game or chargers. One necklace is enough for him. He loves to wear turtle necks type of clothes he easily gets very cold. He overlays them with oversize flannel shirts or hoodies that you thought he is wearing Kuroo's clothes. The shoes he wears are rubber shoes, he loves nike! He got that one ring on his point finger still a mystery why he wears it that way everyday.

Shōhei Fukunaga

The quiet one who loves comedy and to cook. He loves to keep it cool and simple but still looks good. When you see him he's like a wind breeze passed through you. His shade is always warm, from white, blue to yellow. He doesnt wear any accessories nor belts. He loves to wear shorts that even his old jeans are altered to shorts. Sometimes he wears a baseball cap or a bucket hat. He mostly wears a sandal, he got different types of sandals. He's the simpliest of them all and the most light member.

Sō Inuoka

He loves to wear 2 clothes in 1. He prefers those cut sleeve hoodies and overlays them. This guy also prefers jeans than plaid pants. He loves to wear pink or any bright colors! He's into printed socks too. The shoes he wears are vans or nike. He loves those expensive fashionable nike. The only accessories he wears are those personally made bracelet and watch all on his left wrist. He's very specific on how he chooses his phoncase too. It's like every week he changes his phone case.

Tamahiko Teshiro

He's one of the guys who wants to wear it simple. He doesnt wear any accessories because its heavy. He prefers regular light pants than jeans and plaided ones. His shade is always light, he doesnt go dark. He wears a watch and thats it. He loves to wear converse. Doesnt carry a bag too, just purse for men.

Lev Haiba

Everything looks good on him. With his foreign face and tall structure, basically everything goes very nicely. But his fav aesthetic is the one that made him look expensive. The long blazers, turtle necks, dark pants, expensive watch and belt and he carries a hand bag. He likes his turtle neck either cotton or knitted. He loves to wear boots/loafers/derby/oxford shoes. It depends on his mood. Obviously he likes to wear dark clothes to make his hair and eyes stand out more. He doesnt really wear the blazers tho, its only for aesthetic purposes and he nailed that expensive neat looking kind of man indeed.

Yūki Shibayama

Like the other half of the members he loves to wear chains. His usual colors are brown, black and red. He doesnt explore that much with colors. He always wears a fanny pack. Wanted a perfect fitting for his structure. Doesn't want it too tight nor too much room for the breeze to come in. He likes plaid pants but not as much as Kuroo loves it. He always wear black socks no matter what. The only accessory he wears is the chain and thats it. Fav brand of shoes? Nike!

note: got the photos from pinterest, credits to the rightful owners <3

Go check out my masterlist for other teams <3

what team should i do next? Open for requests! 😊

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beebrainedstudios · 4 years

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Alright, here’s Astrid, last but definitely not least of the Dane twins set! As with Athos, a lot of thought went into her design, and since there’s a lot of room for interpretation with them due to comparative lack of page time in the series, I will be including several design notes and general headcanons under the cut. Enjoy! (Btw, the rest of the designs are tagged #adsom ref, in case you want to go back to compare the twins’ designs)

- So, the first thing people will probably notice about this Astrid design is the hair. Where did that come from?

This is War from the Good Omens tv show (yes, that War, the horseman of the apocalypse). As soon as I read about Astrid, my mind flew to this character- the braid, the sass, the general sense of “I can end your life and will enjoy doing so.” War was a big inspiration for Astrid’s design, especially with her hair, so my version of Astrid is the braiding queen. Nobody knows how she gets her hair piled up like that, but it certainly adds to her presence and her impressive height. Her hair is slightly curlier than her brother’s and a lot thinner, but it still braids well and that’s all she cares about. Like Athos, she does not have a single hairstyle; this is just her favorite. The only downside is she can’t wear her crown like this, but what does that matter when her eyes and veins mark her as a Dane? People still get the message that they need to look away and bow down.

- On to pendants! Astrid makes all of her own jewelry; she may not have Athos’ creative streak, but she still has a knack for metalwork, which serves her well since she doesn’t really trust anyone else to make her pendants. As seen on her gloves, Astrid likes to make things out of the remnants of stained glass windows, which were common in Makt’s prime and can still be found if one knows where to look. For more utilitarian clasps, such as those on her boots and cape, Astrid will use carved bone to allow her to more easily adjust her belts.

- As said on Athos’ ref, black blood mean purple mouths and black eyes when the Danes use their magic. Astrid actually gets two versions of her “casting” eyes; one for lightning (and bone manipulation), and one for possession and mimicry (the spell she used to imitate Lila). When using the latter, both she and her victim will gain a blue-highlighted pupil, but the victim or alternate body do not gain blue irises.

- Those boots are specifically meant for riding, but Astrid doesn’t mind using them to kick somebody’s lights out. They are pointy for a reason after all.

- Both her cape and belt are made of velvet and were a gift from Athos from one of their birthdays (he didn’t make it himself, but he did pay for/coerce someone into making it). Astrid sees ermine as her symbol of sorts, as they are some of the most vicious predators on the planet regardless of their size. When once asked why she prefers them over something more intimidating like a wolf or bear, she simply replied, “Rabbits will spend their whole lives looking for wolves, only to die when they fail to spot a stoat in the grass.” The cape is also incredibly warm and colorful, which Astrid loves dearly.

- Astrid wears significantly less armor than her brother; out of the two of them she is much better at defending herself from a surprise attack (Athos needs time to set the stage with traps or to get in position with his whip). She doesn’t tend to carry weapons as much either, as she is physically very strong- especially for White London- and can easily beat someone into submission. Remember her fight with Lila? Most of the time, any attack on Astrid ends up with the attacker on the ground with a least a few broken bones and electrical scars, and if they aren’t dead by the end of it she’ll leave them to her brother. She is not to be messed with and people know that well; she rarely has to personally defend herself, but she is perfectly happy to demonstrate her capability if she needs to. The only thing she struggles with is runes, as she doesn’t have the same steady hand her brother does. While she can make the most basic runes and can enchant her pendants, anything more than that is past her skill level.

- Astrid is tall, especially with her heels and hair. Without either she probably stands around 5,7′, but with the addition of her attire she can easily reach 5,11′. By comparison, Holland is 6,0′ and Athos is 5,6′ with all of his gear on.

- Now for personality stuff! While Astrid did not suffer any huge physical effects from her rough childhood like her brother did, she did grow up to be emotionally messed up. As the eldest (by half an hour) and biggest, Astrid put pressure on herself to be the most capable sibling to ensure that both of them made it to adulthood; all of this self-inflicted responsibility, when combined with no good examples and a horrible environment, has led to her being fairly emotionally numb as she grew. She never really needed intense emotion to get by and therefore sees certain feelings as a waste of time unless they are for the right reasons. For example, while Astrid is perfectly fine with indulging in feelings of anger, pride, envy, or love for her brother, she sees anything closely resembling sadness or regret as gross and wasteful. Astrid will never be found feeling sorry for herself or trying to work through any sort of trauma; she doesn’t have time for that. This is one of the reasons she doesn’t enjoy Holland’s company as much as Athos- she and Holland share a lot emotionally in common and she doesn’t want to spend her afternoons with a mopey version of herself, even if it is fun to rile him up. Astrid also has a deep appreciation for aesthetics and beauty; while no one could accuse her of being a patriot, she does feel a lot of indignation on behalf of her people for the way Red London isolated itself and stole the color from her world.

- Astrid is extremely possessive of things she likes; she is far less likely to kill someone for attempted regicide than she is to do so for thievery or messing with her stuff (assuming she was the one attacked; if someone attacks her brother they pay for it dearly). They’d still get punished of course, but they’d likely only lose a limb rather than their life or their mind. Astrid sees the world in terms of what people have; that’s where control and security come from. The only reason she really lets Holland stay around besides his usefulness is because he belongs to Athos and is therefore under the umbrella of “it’s ours don’t touch it.” Her fascination with Kell is related to this; she wants him in the same way someone may covet their neighbor’s money or car, as well as to have her own Antari like her brother (she does want her own, just not Holland since he’s such a bore to her).

- As far as ruling Makt goes, Astrid actually doesn’t want her world to suffer under her thumb. She’s wanted to be queen for years and now that she is one, she doesn’t want to suck at it. Her plans to conquer Arnes are genuinely motivated by the health of her kingdom- she doesn’t feel any personal attachment to it, but it is hers and that means she isn’t going to let it die. After all, it’s the only home she and her brother have ever known.

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bangtan-madi · 3 years

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Top Albums of 2020

I was tagged by the amazing @joonni to list my top nine twelve albums of 2020! This was honestly so hard, but so fun. I love any tags to do with music xD (Your music taste was amazing btw! Sorry I went a little crazy and did a few extra lol.) Thanks lovie 💓

I went with the albums that I loved as whole (aka I loved most, if not all, of the songs) and listened to the most this year. Some choices have deeper meanings, while others were just flat-out enjoyable. I also stuck with albums that came out this year only, but I wasn’t sure if that was inherently part of the challenge. I wasn’t too picky on the criteria, just went with the ones that made up the score for my 2020. All albums have Spotify links incase something catches your eye! (Apologies for my extra-ness; I added recommendations from each album and a brief...ish explanation as to why it made the list.)

Also, they’re in no particular order, because this was difficult enough...

Map of the Soul: 7 by BTS

Explanation — This album was my first comeback as part of the BTS Army. There are so many tracks that I adore, and I honestly can’t remember the last time I was so excited for music. It breathed life into my Spotify, it was the album I listened to the most this year, and Black Swan was my most listened song. The differing music genres that they played with, all the way from orchestral to trap to hip hop and synth pop, left me more and more excited as the songs progressed. If there was a #1 on this list, it would be MOTS:7.

Highlights — Interlude: Shadow, Black Swan, ON, We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal

Zero: Fever Part.1 by Ateez

Explanation — This was the soundtrack to my summer. I hadn’t heard much from Ateez, but what I had heard, I wasn’t a huge fan of? Maybe I hadn’t been grabbed yet, but oh boy. Zero: Fever definitely did that. Every track is such high energy and memorable, so it was so hard to pick favorites! I’ll always think back on this one for summer, and will be transported back to plenty of sunset commutes.

Highlights — Fever, Thanxx, One Day At A Time

The Dream Chapter: Eternity by Tomorrow x Together

Explanation — Until this mini album, I had only listened to TXT in passing. I liked their stuff, but I feel like this is where they really found their stride. TDC:E caught me totally off-guard, in the best way possible. To me at least, this one is a work of art. Each of the six tracks is so entrancing, and so different from each other while still working together as a cohesive story. And don’t even get me started on the MVs! This is an album that I listen to for feels and fun, which to me, TXT are just brilliant at.

Highlights — Fairy of Shampoo, Maze in the Mirror, Eternally

Dystopia: The Tree of Language by Dreamcatcher

Explanation — It took me forever to find a girl group that I could really stan, like hardcore. This comeback for Dreamcatcher was when I realized they were it for me. This album in particular is so diverse. Their voices are both haunting and beautiful, and the way they interweave rock/alternative elements into their music has always turned my ear. They are so different from so many other girl groups out there, from the sound to their stage presence to their aesthetic. I will never stop talking about them, and this album really shows the best of their work thus far.

Highlights — Red Sun, Sahara, Paradise

BE by BTS

Explanation — How could BE not be on this list? What a perfect end to a shitty year. There’s something so comforting yet uplifting about this one, and I will happily admit I cried when I first heard Blue & Grey. Who am I kidding, I still do. There’s only one other artist I have listed on here with two albums, so BTS is in good company. What more is there to say other than BE was the warm hug we all needed.

Highlights — Life Goes On, Blue & Grey, Dis-ease, Stay

Heng:garae by Seventeen

Explanation — This is another group that I hadn’t listened to much before this album. I was so surprised and excited. Every song that passed, I found myself smiling more. Their voices are astoundingly beautiful, and the songs are sickeningly catchy. Another album that I go to just to have fun. It’s one of my favorites to just put on when a day is good, but doesn’t Seventeen make it a little better regardless?

Highlights — Fearless, Kidult, I Wish, Together

The Untamed by various

Explanation — If you’ve seen the Chinese drama The Untamed, then you know exactly why this is on there. This album is a collection of songs that are themes for the characters in the show, most of which are sung by the actors themselves. Let me tell you; I don’t know a lick of Mandarin, but these are some of the most stunning songs I’ve ever heard. It’s one of the things that drew me to the drama to begin with; everything, including the music, is breathtaking. The classical Chinese sound plays so well with the character’s stories and singer’s vocals. They tell stories all on their own and give the drama so much depth. Even if you’re not a fan of the show or webtoon it’s based on, give this one a listen. You won’t be disappointed!

Highlights — [Wen Qing] woodland, [Wen Ning] Chi Ni, [Lan Xichen] Bu You, [Jiang Yanli & Jin Zixuan] Yong Ge, [Interlude] Yi Nan Ping, [Nie Minghao & Nie Huaisang] Qing He Ju

Humanity (Chapters I & II) by Thomas Bergersen

Explanation — If you know anything about me, you know how important orchestral music is to me. It’s been a huge part of my music journey ever since I was in middle school. Thomas Bergersen has been my favorite composer for years; the way he integrates the classical with the modern is just...there are no words. These two albums cannot be listed separately; they’re part of a seven-part project titled Humanity. Chapters I & II came out in 2020, and honestly, I have no words. The way he tells a story through almost entirely lyric-less work is just immaculate. I’ve never felt more powerful, emotional, or inspired than when listening to these two. I cried when I first heard Your Imagination and Materialize. No matter how I am feeling, whether I need inspiration or hope or just some peace of mind, I go here. I’ve never felt more healed than when listening to his work. If you take a chance to listen to anything on this list, PLEASE. Give these a try.

Highlights — We Are One, Wings, Humanity, Your Imagination, Materialize, Innocence, The Stars Are Coming Home

Brightest Blue by Ellie Goulding

Explanation — I don’t listen to a ton of western music that isn’t orchestral or lofi, but I used to adore Ellie Goulding. Halcyon was my entire teen-hood. When I saw she came out with a new album this year, I gave it a listen for sentimentality reasons. And boy, I still love her. Her voice is both angelic and haunting, and her sound is so unique. The messages given in these songs are powerful, potent, a tad bit bittersweet, and especially valid for young women navigating adult life. Also the instrumentals backing her vocals are often big and grand and symphonic, filled with piano and violin. That’s enough to get me to listen. And to top it all off, the collabs she has on this album are so fitting for each track, it’s absolutely beautiful.

Highlights — Start, Cyan, Ode To Myself, Woman, Flux, Overture, Slow Grenade, Hate Me

Beneath Your Waves by Sleepy Fish

Explanation — If there’s one kind of music that shuts off the little anxiety bug in my brain and gets me to work, one that isn’t as intense as orchestral music and that doesn’t put me into sensory overload like orchestral sometimes does, it’s lofi. And Sleepy Fish does it so freakin’ well. This album that came out this year is one of my most often repeated over and over. When I’m struggling with sensory issues at work, I put this one repeat and my mind just...goes...quiet. It’s like medicine. And the tunes are so catchy and sweet. I’m instantly transported to someplace magical, some seaside city straight out of a Ghibli film, and far away from the things that are troubling me. Then I can finally get some work done, get to sleep, or just quiet my mind. If you struggle with sensory issues or anxiety like I do, give this album a shot. Also, the album titled My Room Becomes The Sea from 2019 is excellent.

Highlights — Velocities, Sunbreak, Swimming, Nights Like These, Winter Winter

WOOPS! by Woodz

Explanation — Another mini album that is just a blast to listen to, but it also has such a soft side that hits me in the feels. I don’t see a lot of people talking about Woodz, but you all should give him a listen. He’s so talented, and his voice on this one is just *chef’s kiss* everything. The mixing is also impeccable and pairs so well with his vocals.

Highlights — Bump Bump, On my own, Sweater, Tide

D-2 by Agust D

Explanation — I mean, we all knew this one was gonna be dope. Yoongi did not disappoint. This mixtape is so different from most of the stuff I listen to, but I absolutely adored it. The truth and rhythm and pure talent in each and every verse stuns me still. I find myself especially drawn to this one when I’m frustrated (not exclusively, but often, ‘cause 2020.) Both his truth and sound give me a safe place to feel that frustration and anxiety and vent/work through it. I don’t know what it is about Yoongi, but to me, all of his work is like a comforting friend going, “Hey, you’re totally valid and okay for feeling this way...but it sucks, doesn’t it?”

Highlights — Daechwita, People, Dear my friend

Now, I’ll tag these lovely people! Only if you wanna :)

@kooala @cultleaderyoongi @yoontopia @hobicomeholla29 @helenazbmrskai @moon-write @dreamcatcherjiah @ditttiii

#tag #tagged #mutuals #get to know me

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devnicolee · 4 years

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The Chosen Ones (2)

A/N: I hate how long it has taken me to write anything new! But I am really excited about this series (hope y’all still are) so I am going to keep writing it. This definitely classifies as a slow burn FYI. But the timeline for the story is short. Hope you enjoy it!

Word Count: 10,603

The soft clicks of Asha’s sandals filled the silent halls of the palace as she walked toward her brother's office. Her early morning summons left a sour taste in her mouth and a disgruntled look on her face at having to get up even earlier than she needed to for their meeting with Lord M’Baku; but she begrudgingly obliged her brother’s request. Dark clouds stole the natural light that would have usually provided the corridors with a warm glow causing the journey to fill more ominous than usual. She didn't understand what it was, her inability to shake this anxiety she felt since Killmonger. She knew it was just her. The rest of the country and palace seemed to return to business as usual since T'Challa reclaimed his throne. She, however, felt like everything around her was changing. And that was perhaps because, thanks to her siblings, it was.

Though her life amounted to little more than an imprisonment, Asha had grown used to her simple, peaceful and quiet life cooped up in her room, the palace gardens or the library. A life as peaceful, quiet and mundane as the constraints of royalty would allow it to be, of course. She had little desire to change that and potentially destroy her family in the process. But now it seemed as though everyone else had other plans for her future, plans to make it the opposite of mundane, quiet, and ordinary.

Has the power of King gone to his head?

She wondered as she navigated the nonstop demands he lobbed at her as of late. It seemed as if, in addition to the powers of the Black Panther, T'Challa had another superpower: the ability to know when Asha had more than five minutes of alone time. She could not retreat to her bedroom for long before he was calling her to review treaties and paperwork, go over official requests from the Council or citizens as part of her new role as "political adviser to the King." She didn't understand why he was going to such lengths for a fake position, something that she knew only existed to make her feel valued and included.

Her smile brightened when she turned the corner to see Okoye outside of T'Challa's office.

"Good morning, General."

"My princess," Okoye nodded and saluted her before her body relaxed out of its usual rigid stance and a small but clear smile fell on her features. "He is expecting you."

"Thank you," Asha smiled. "Oh wait, I need to check with Nakia but you are still free for girl’s night after the state dinner, yes?"

Asha laughed lightly at Okoye’s look of disgust at the phrase "girl’s night." But it had become their tradition over the years, the group would get together after official events and parties to update Asha on the night's events, any new gossip and drama. She knew Okoye found the name and custom somewhat childish but she was a constant at the gatherings nonetheless.

"Of course, I'll be there."

"Perfect, have a good day, Okoye," she said before opening her brother’s office door.

Asha truly valued the relaxed and loving relationship she shared with Okoye. She was cold to almost everyone except the Royal Trio but she always seemed to have an especially soft spot for Asha. Asha was blessed to have big sisters in her and Nakia, people outside of the Golden Tribe to turn to when the solitude transformed from sanctuary to prison.

Her brother’s back was turned to her as she approached his desk.

"If your idea of being king is just dragging me out of bed then perhaps we should have left Killmonger in charge?"

He turned to offer her an eye roll and a playful glare.

"Too soon sister... too soon. My wounds have barely healed."

She lifted her hand in surrender before starting to sit down in the chair across from him.

"No, don't sit! We are not staying, I have something to show you."

He ushered her back out of the door and into the hallway.

The journey was quick, literally two doors down the hall to an office near his.

"The reason for this early morning meeting is to show you this," he said as he opened the door to a spare office.

Asha smiled at the childlike enthusiasm and excitement in his eyes. And so, she tried her best to hide her confusion when she looked around at the decorated office. It was beautiful, clearly he put a lot of effort into its decoration: the red and gold decor and gold-trimmed office furniture. But still, Asha did not understand why she needed to be there for this.

"This is nice! Will this be Nakia’s office?" She asked as she looked around the room, highlighting the only logical purpose for using the space. "Shouldn’t you have decorated it green though? For the River Tribe? Though it is the thought that counts I suppose. But next time, ask for my advice earlier."

The office was beautiful, yes, but certainly not Nakia’s style.

T’Challa let out an exasperated laugh, "You are one of the smartest people in this family and are still the most clueless. This is not Nakia’s office, it is yours. Your favorite color, paintings of your favorite place in Wakanda and by your favorite artist, pictures of us and Shuri, views of the gardens, your favorite flowers on the table?" he listed, finally drawing her attention to all the things that would make this office for her and not her brother’s girlfriend.

"Wait what? I mean it is thoughtful and beautiful but why do I need an office?" she asked bewildered as she examined the space more closely, finding even more personal touches.

There was a fireplace, which was not actually needed anywhere else in the palace. Little golden panther and rhinos found their home on the fireplace’s mantle. She even spied a picture of T’Challa and W’Kabi next to a few of the border rhinos, her favorite animal since a young age, on a side table.

"Yes, you have a real job now. You are cementing your place in the tribe. And as liaison with the Jabari and political adviser to the King, you need a real space to work. It requires an office. Shuri and I worked on it for the last few days, everything is reinforced with vibranium to make them fire-resistant by the way."

She snorted, "'Political adviser to the king?' The title and position you made up to make me feel included and important?"

"Every ruler has advisers, Asha. It is a new position, yes. But one with very real work to utilize your genius. You spent half your life cooped up in the library reading books. You know so much more than Shuri or I about our history, our allies and our enemies. You have a far better mind for politics than I… or baba, I imagine. A good king utilizes the people who know the things he does not. And so, as an adviser, I expect to see you in this office every day, understand?"

Asha rolled her eyes. First her father forced her into isolation and now her siblings were forcing her out of it.

Why is no one content with simply leaving me alone?

"Yes, my king," she answered.

"Perfect. This is a good thing, Asha, I promise. Besides, I also want you to help me figure out how to undo the damage father has done, help me with a project... change public opinions ab-"

He was unable to finish when Alexis poked her head in.

"Apologies my king and princess but Hasani is here to see you. He has been looking for you."

Asha's heart immediately sank, she lacked the will and energy to deal with her intended. However, she knew him well enough to know that it would invite further troubles to turn him away.

"Yes, please send him in. Thank you."

She went to the small mirror and quickly checked over herself and her outfit, refusing to give him any reason to criticize something about her today.

"Be nice, T'Challa," she whispered as she fixed the high pony her braids were in. She chuckled lightly at the look of pure disgust coloring her usually mild-tempered brother's face. "I will settle for a lack of open hostility then," she muttered after acknowledging his inaudible no.

Hasani wasted little time before barging into her office. He was aesthetically gorgeous, the epitome of the American adage: tall, dark and handsome. His face was pulled into a permanent scowl but he knew how to turn on the charm and pull out his award-winning smile when required. Aside from T'Challa, he was considered one of the most eligible bachelors in Wakanda. Women in the Merchant Tribe were in an Olympic-style race to gain his affections, to be the last one standing. His courtship with the Princess? A mere hurdle to jump over for many. Their relationship did little to curtail the women vying for his affection, nor had it stopped Hasani from accepting their advances.

"T'Challa," he greeted, not bothering to address his king by his proper title or salute.

If looks could kill, the young man's soul would have been halfway to meet Bast in person. However, her brother quickly recovered and maintained his cool, understanding that Hasani wanted a rise out of him.

Hasani knew the two siblings in the Golden Trio despised him. But it was clear to all parties involved that he did not care.

"Asha," he greeted her shortly. "I would like to speak alone."

"Uh, yes... of course. Brother, could we get a few moments alone?"

T'Challa nodded, "Yes, we have a meeting in 10 minutes in preparation for your trip and meetings with Lord M'Baku. Shuri has sent everything you need to get started to your tablet and beads."

The hug he bestowed was quick and the head nod in Hasani's direction barely noticeable as he made his exit. Asha was thankful to him and Bast for the out her brother just gave her. She only had to suffer for 10 minutes before she had an excuse to get him out of her office.

"Lord M'Baku?" Hasani asked disgusted. "Why on Earth would you have a meeting with him?"

Asha sat down on the edge of her desk, "I am surprised your mother did not mention it. He is a member of the Council now and he and the King tasked me with serving as a liaison to the Jabari as they integrate into Wakanda."

"I don’t know why those savages would want to join nor why T’Challa would let them."

Asha’s face pulled up in frustration at his bias toward the Jabari. "They are not savages. Living differently and valuing different things does not mean they are less Wakandan. And that is the point of these meetings, to lea-."

"Very well. Just ensure it does not interfere with our engagement announcement. My mother has spent a great deal of time coming up with a plan," he interrupted her, seemingly bored by and uninterested in her new project and job.

Asha went back and forth mentally on whether it was worth it to inquire about this plan. She knew she needed to know the details, despite not being consulted on it in the first place. But she did not want to prolong this or spend anymore time with Hasani than she needed to prior to their marriage. She always thought that arranged marriages were primitive. For a country as advanced as Wakanda, she could not fathom why her father would essentially give her away when she was too young to choose or consent herself. And now she would never get an answer. Though she supposed she would be ungrateful to complain, she would not find someone to marry and love on her own, not in these circumstances. But she knew she was not signing up for eventual love and potential happiness. These were things a marriage to Hasani could never bring her.

To her father's credit, he pushed off their official courtship as long as he could, citing her "illnesses" and poor health. She knew it had far more to do with maintaining his lies than her happiness. But she wasn't complain. However, months earlier, Elder Shani demanded he stop pushing and her freedom ceased.

The early days of their courtship were complicated, proof that the web of lies her father had weaved was not sustainable. Everyone else knew it, that the web would unravel eventually... everyone except him. Elder Shani was never shy in spreading her doubt that nothing was physically wrong with the young princess, that her isolation or the delay of their marriage was due to something entirely different. She certainly wasn’t the only person across the country who conjured conspiracy theories as to what was actually wrong with her, being a mutant was at the top of the list. She was surprised that the charade lasted as long as it did. But she guessed the palace staff who knew the truth also knew that her father was not a ruler to be trifled with. Underneath his kind disposition, there was certainly a figurative fire and ruthlessness that most people knew to avoid.

Their initial dates and visits were brief and supervised but still pleasant. She enjoyed his company, was taken by his thoughtfulness and empathy. He seemed perfect initially.

However, after a small argument about her not wanting to go on a date outside the palace walls, Hasani confirmed his mother’s suspicions that his future wife was not sick at all. She was a mutant.

Asha hoped his mother would call off the engagement, she hated mutants after all. But instead, she realized that, for some, greed and power were far more motivating than hate. Shani promised to maintain her secret in exchange for more influence and power on the Council and the position of Commander of the Wakandan military forces for her son.

It took little time for Asha to realize that any hope that the pair could be happy together was gone, that he inherited his mother's bias toward people like her. Now, of course, she saw the red flags as if they were waving in a sea of white... no longer obscured or hidden. His controlling nature, his abuse, his philandering ways.

He made it abundantly clear that he would never love her, protect her, or affirm her as a husband should. That was devastating to her at first but like she had done countless times before, she quickly accepted her fate. No amount of prayers or tears would get her out of this one. The chains of her obligations were tight and heavy, restricting her in a dark cell with no hope of escape. She wanted to hate him, cast him as the villain in all this. And in some ways, he was. But he was just as burdened by chains as she was, both pawns in their parents’ quests to gain or maintain their grips on power. Every time she saw him, that was all she saw: them chained too far apart to be any comfort to the other in that dark room for the rest of their lives.

"Was anyone going to inform me of this plan?

"I am informing you now," he answered coolly. "First, I will be your date to the Caanan state dinner this weekend. You will attend my mother's birthday party the week after the announcement, you will accompany on tours of the Merchant Tribe's provinces so the people can meet you."

"I-I was not planning on attending the dinner on Satur-"

"I was not asking," he snapped. "We are going. I need to begin meeting with heads of state. I trust you have something decent to wear? I can't have you looking like this on my arm. You should work out with the Dora before the festival, lose a few pounds."

And there it is.

Asha knew it was coming, the harsh criticisms and snipes. Every conversation was filled with them. It never mattered what it was: her powers, her appearance, her intellect. Every conversation was a battle and since she was unable to use her only weapon, she always walked away with the wounds and bruises.

"I did not realize I needed to lose weight," she mumbled, looking down at her body. She tried not to let his words bother her, after all this was pretty commonplace at this point in their relationship. She could feel the panther beating against her cage, baring her teeth, body filled with the desire to attack the person hurting her owner. But she thanked Bast that the bars around the monster were thick. Killing her intended would not help her case much.

"Well, you do. And I assume you will wear those to ensure there are no issues at any of these events? Do not embarrass me."

Her eyes flickered away from his as the threatening tone of her last statement settled in her mind. Physically, there was nothing he could do to hurt her and he knew it. But emotionally, there was all sorts of damage he could cause and he knew that too.

Asha nodded, eyes trained on the ground. "Yes, I will wear them. As I always do."

"Good, I cannot have you revealing your illness to the entire tribe and dragging my name into the gutter with you."

"Yes, I understand. Is that all, Hasani?" she asked quietly, desperate to get him out of her office, to be alone.

"Yes. I will see you on Saturday. Do not be late."

He got up without saying goodbye and stalked out of her office. Tears stung the back of her eyes as his words oscillated through her head. She lifted her eyes to the ceiling, refusing to let any fall for him.

Useless… an embarrassment.

She shook her head, not wanting to contemplate all the times she heard those words before or fall down the rabbit hole of painful memories. She took a few deep breaths, trying to bring her emotions back to neutral. She didn't want T'Challa to see her like this, give him any more reasons to hate Hasani.

Once she felt more in control of the beast within, she gathered her tablet and walked across the hall to her brother's office. She had a trip to prepare for and time wouldn’t wait for her to get it together.

***

Tuesday arrived faster than Asha anticipated and now instead of being cooped up in her library, she was zooming through the mountains toward Jabariland. This is a far more enjoyable way to travel here, she thought to herself, thinking back on her first journey there on foot. She enjoyed the views as Ayo flew them toward the Great Lodge. Immediately, Asha thought to the times Baba was out of the country and T'Challa and Shuri would take her out in the Royal Talon. They would fly around and just marvel at the beautiful landscapes of Wakanda: the rainforest, the rushing waterfalls, the vast sun-kissed fields, the snow-capped mountains. Every trip, they found a new hidden gem, a spot secluded enough for Asha to see but for no one to see her, the rare opportunity to experience the country she called home.

The mountains were the one spot they couldn't venture too far into so now was her chance. She did wish Shuri and T'Challa were there with her. There first trip here was rushed and emotional, there was little time to soak in the sights. But selfishly, she liked that there would finally be a place in Wakanda she could truly experience first. She looked out the Talon windows at the forests to see a fresh blanket of undisturbed snow covering every tree.

"We are here, your highness," Ayo called from her position in the cockpit.

Asha tore her eyes from the forest to her left as the plane settled on a small cliff. She nodded, a wave of nausea washed over her. Her anxiety settled in her stomach like a small ball as the end of their journey arrived. She was surprised at how quickly the ride transitioned from peaceful to nerve wrecking due to one simple sentence. Now instead of venturing farther into this winter paradise, she just wanted to turn around and scurry back to the comfort of her palace. The stakes were unbearably high for her... her first official task representing the Golden Tribe. She couldn't mess it up.

"Thank you, Ayo. See you in a few days."

She motioned for Alexis to follow her down the ramp into the snow-covered cliff. The familiar smell of ash immediately invaded her senses and the cold air hit her hard initially as she stepped off the ramp. Her body quickly jump started its own heating system, her flames brewing beneath the surface causing the frigid cold to become pleasant within seconds. She felt bad disrupting the soft snow, hearing the soft crunch beneath her feet as they approached a small group of Jabari waiting for them. She regarded the young man at the head of the pack with great interest, controlling her facial expression to hide her disappointment that a certain someone was not a part of her welcoming party. She shouldn’t be surprised though given the coldness she experienced from him in their meeting earlier that week.

"Good afternoon your highness. Welcome to Jabariland. My name is N'Danna, I am Lord M'Baku's personal adviser. He regrets that he was unable to retrieve you himself, he is tied up in meetings this evening. However, he will see you in the morning for breakfast. One of our guards, Kide," he motioned behind him as a stone-faced young man stepped forward, "will be escorting you during your stay. Anything you need at all, please let him know. This way, your highness."

Asha nodded, "Thank you!"

She offered him a soft smile before following behind him. Daylight was starting to fade, giving way to the soft yellows and oranges of sunset before the darkness of nightfall. She glanced off to her right and off the cliff her ship landed on. She could see the edge of the village below them and the wooden profile of a larger-than-life statue of Hanuman that held the Great Lodge up on the side of the mountain. She stood for a few minutes, just admiring the sunset over the mountains. Sunsets in Wakanda were unlike anything in the world, she knew they would be equally as breathtaking here.

"This way, your highness," he called again as he walked toward the glass door on the side of the Lodge. Despite her longing, she quickly fell into a step behind him. "Don’t worry, Princess Asha. We have sunsets everyday here, I will make sure we carve out time to see it. They are truly breathtaking."

Asha blushed slightly, her adoration for the view must have been evident to everyone.

"Thank you, I would appreciate that. We are just very excited to be here," she called after him.

"We are excited to have you. And we will have extra blankets brought to Alexis's room. The cold does take some adjusting."

She glanced at Alexis to see that the woman was indeed shivering, despite being wrapped tightly in a border tribe blanket. Asha nodded and thanked him before silence fell over the group again.

N’Danna briskly walked them to their rooms in the palace, only stopping once when Asha slowed down to see the gardens in the center of the Lodge. She made a mental note to find a spare moment to visit the gardens.

"You should meet the royal gardener as well. I believe you would like him," N’Danna called over his shoulder as he resumed his trek toward the residential wing of the Lodge.

"Here we are. You can go to the dining room for dinner if you choose. However, we are sure you both are tired so we completely understand if you would like it delivered to your room instead. Just let Kide know what you wish to order. Again, anything you should need, do not hesitate to ask."

"Thank you N'Danna."

They shared salutes before Alexis and Asha retreated to their respective rooms.

Her room was slightly larger than her accommodations the first time around. The bed was certainly inviting, covered with soft black fur blankets. The fire was always lit across the room, not that she needed it. There were gorilla statues across the room and a small one of a panther, which she guessed was added to make them feel at home.

Asha stared at the bed longingly. All she wanted to do was wrap herself in those soft furs, but she remembered the mountain of readings she still needed to complete to be fully prepared for tomorrow. She, instead, settled on the small couch in front of the fire and set to work, refusing to embarrass her brother or herself.

Her stomach growled slightly, making her consider going down to dinner. She wanted to have it delivered to her room but she knew she wouldn't get to see him if she stayed cooped up in her room all night. She couldn't deny the tinge of disappointment that he did not greet her when she arrived. She was sure he had better things to do but she wanted to see him. She hoped he was warmer today than he was the last time they spoke.

Wishful thinking, she thought to herself before redirecting her energy to the work in front of her, shaking her head slightly. She needed to push out all the distractions, immerse herself in her job, that was the only way she would be able to ignore these feelings... the only way to ignore him.

***

"It was rather rude of you not to welcome our guest earlier," N'Danna remarked as he glanced up from the pile of paperwork in front of him.

"I was busy, a day full of meetings," M'Baku responded casually, not taking his eyes off the paper in front of him.

"As yes, your riveting meeting with my father so you could listen to his many complaints about your leadership style... a meeting you had been putting off for a week but mysteriously added to your schedule just this morning. I know you just could not postpone that any further. That, coupled with your coldness on the phone calls with her over the last two weeks... you should be nicer to her, M'Baku. She was quite disappointed that you were not there."

M'Baku rolled his eyes, frustrated by his best friend and adviser’s need to stick his nose and mind every place it did not belong. But his ears did pick up on his last statement.

She wouldn't have been disappointed if she didn't have feelings for me... right?

"I was perfectly pleasant to her, despite being a low lander.

"Yes, you were perfectly cold and just shy of being rude to her. But you are right, disappointment does imply feelings and yes, she is quite beautiful," he added slyly at the end.

"I never told you she was beautiful! Stop doing that, my mind is not yours to pick at," he snapped. The corner of N'Danna's lips curled into a slight smile, knowing that his chief's bark held no bite.

"Really? I find that hard to believe given the fact that your mind is just an express train of thoughts about Princess Asha. Everything else is merely a rest stop along the way before you jump back in the conductor's seat. But I understand. Pushing her away to try and stop thinking of her makes sense. It is frustrating."

"You know your psycho-analyzing is not worth much when you are stealing all the information directly from someone’s mind right? I wish you would consider some personal form of policing yourself and those powers of yours. Besides, it doesn't matter what my mind says... she is taken, engaged."

"I cannot turn it off anymore than I can turn off breathing. But I am sorry, I know you don’t like it. Why are you so upset about her engagement if you are not interested in her?"

M’Baku cut his eyes, opting for anger instead of a real conversation with his friend.

"I can finish the rest of these myself. That is all for this evening N’Danna. Thank you."

N’Danna sighed, "You do not want to talk about it, I understand. But I am the one person you cannot hide from M’Baku, at least not forever. So it would not kill you to actively share every once in a while. Good night."

He nodded as his friend turned and left his office. M’Baku was as annoyed as ever. Two weeks since the Council Meeting, two weeks since he had last laid eyes on her and the tug he had for her had yet to diminish, despite his extensive efforts. He only spoke with her over the phone to avoid looking at her, he was cold toward her during those conversations, he invited a different Jabari woman to his bed almost every night, he refused to welcome her when she landed. So much hard work and thought into the simple act of dampening his feelings toward her. And yet, it was as if the moment her soul entered his home, all his hard work flew out the window as fast as the Talon left Jabariland. He didn't need to physically see her or be in the same room to know she was present and desire nothing else but to be around her. No amount of dispassionate sex, coldness or time seemed to change that.

You can't have her... and even if she was not engaged. You don't deserve her. Why would she want to be with someone ordinary? His subconscious whispered to him.

He sighed deeply. Why would she want to be with someone like him? There was nothing special about him... nothing extraordinary. He was perfectly average... a part of the group that was not chosen.

She deserved someone just as extraordinary as she was. Someone who understood her gift. And that was not him. He had learned a long time ago how to live with things he cannot change, and accept disappointments. He could do it now too. He did not have a choice.

He shook his head before burying it back in his work. This was the only thing that would help him move on and forget about her.

****

Early evening transitioned into night as Asha worked, checking, double-checking and triple checking the working treaty and paperwork T'Challa sent with her to iron out. She wanted to be able to answer any question he could throw at her, defend any clause or identify a solid solution. She knew that level of attention and detail would show the Jabari that the Golden Tribe cared, that they could offer ideas and then adjust to their way of life. By the time midnight fell, Asha finally felt prepared enough to rest.

Asha knew she could just absorb the fire in the hearth in front of her and have enough energy to not sleep for days but she didn't want to be up staring out the window all night. She watched the snow fall for a bit before deciding that she was too anxious to rest anyways. She paced, contemplated solutions before she realized that staying in this room would not cure her anxiety but a late-night visit to the library could. She pulled on her shoes and a light sweater and crept out of her room.

After wandering around for a bit, she realized she had no idea where she was heading. She was hoping to easily find her way back to the library but she seemed to be just walking aimlessly. She was so in her head that she did not hear footsteps approaching until they were directly behind her.

"Your highness?"

"Oh my Bast!" she yelped, turning around quickly to find N’Danna standing behind her.

She clutched her chest as she tried to right herself, slightly embarrassed for being so easily shaken in front of a high ranking member of the tribe and a few soldiers.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just heading home for the evening and thought I heard someone." he offered.

She was slightly surprised at the warm reception she was getting, the lack of confusion over her ambling around their palace at night. He didn’t seem confused or annoyed by it. Instead, he just eyed her with gentleness and curiosity.

"No, no. Please do not apologize. I should be apologizing, wandering around at night. It was rude of me. I was just hoping to find th-"

"The library?" he finished for her.

She blinked a few times at him, confused as to how he would know that.

"I am happy to show you before I leave. I was just finishing up some work with Lord M’Baku in his office." He motioned for her to follow him down the hall.

"He always works this late?" she asked curiously, wondering why he was not asleep at an hour like this.

Well he was not asleep the first night you met him either. A night owl, she thought to herself.

"Yes, our chief has always been a bit of a night owl. But there is so much behind the scenes work to rejoining Wakanda as you will see during this trip, treaties and such to draft, negotiate, etc. More than just attending a council meeting every month. So, he has been quite busy since the initial meeting. Likely why he asked for your help, we certainly need it."

It doesn’t seem like it, she thought to herself.

N’Danna laughed, seemingly at nothing. "I know, I know. It does not seem like it given his attitude. But you must excuse him. He can be rough and cold around the edges to outsiders, er… well Jabari outsiders. He is just protective of the tribe."

"Understandable. Well, I am happy to be here… excited to be here, truly. I do not want anyone to think I am coming here to change the Jabari. I am just here to serve in whatever capacity he and T’Challa need," she offered politely, choosing to ignore how the man managed to seemingly read her thoughts again.

N’Danna smiled, "We appreciate such willing-"

A door to their left swung open as Lord M’Baku stuck his head out of a door.

"N’Danna? Did you forget some-" his words faltered and he fell silent as his gaze shifted to Asha.

There was a pregnant pause as the trio simply stared at each other. Or rather, Asha and M’Baku stared at each other while N’Danna’s eyes bounced playfully between the pair like he was intently watching a riveting tennis match. A small knowing smile graced his face and he swayed slightly on his heels with anticipation, waiting for one of them to say something and seemingly enjoying their growing distress.

"No, I ran into the Princess as she was trying to find the library, I was just taking her that way," he answered, ending their misery.

M’Baku’s eyes narrowed, words returning to his voice and a knowing expression filling them.

"But the library is in the opposite direction? Did you forget where it was?"

N’Danna was not slick, M’Baku knew exactly what he was doing and he was not amused.

"Yes, I thought she would enjoy the scenic route," he answered casually, unbothered by the death glare he was receiving from his best friend and chief.

"The scenic route?" M'Baku repeated.

That leads her right by my office? He added in his head, knowing his best friend would hear it.

"The scenic route," N'Danna affirmed quietly, choosing to ignore the mental earful he was getting from his chief. "But it seems she is now in far more capable hands than I. Lord M’baku was just considering having a nightcap before retiring for the evening. Perhaps you can join him so he doesn't have to drink alone? You wanted to try Jabari rum yes? M’Baku has the best in his office."

Asha stared between the ground and M’Baku, torn between wanting to say yes and spend time with him and wanting to escape back to her room.

"Uhhh yes… if you are free. But if not, I will just find my way back to my room."

"No!" he almost shouted at her, his annoyance at N’Danna dissipating at the thought of spending time alone with her.

He knew it was pointless, what was the point in spending time with a woman pledge to marry someone else? He was dedicated to his mission to be as cold as he could but it was clear that was doomed from the start. His yearning for her only seemed to magnify, not shrink. He had not thought of anyone else but her all evening. He just wanted to be around her, learn about her, and soak up everything there was to know about her. It was selfish, he knew that. But he didn’t particularly care.

"I would love some company and he is right, I do have the best rum in the mountains."

"That is an offer I cannot refuse. Thank you N’Danna," Asha said, smiling at him.

He nodded with a smile, saluting M’Baku before briskly walking back in the direction he came. Asha stared at his back for a few minutes, trying to figure out what struck her about him… something odd. Not dangerous, just odd… it was as if he knew everything.

She walked into M’Baku’s office and immediately took in the smell. It smelled like him, which made a sigh of contentment almost escape her lips.

"Have a seat, please," he offered, motioning to the chair on the other side of his desk. "Apologies for my adviser. He has a knack for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong."

He turned away from her, pouring her a glass and handing it to her.

"No need to apologize. He is very sweet... and helpful. He seems to know what I need before I even ask it," she laughed lightly.

"Yes, he... um... he has a certain knack for that I suppose. Well, let us raise a glass to new partnerships and new beginnings," he offered as he prompted her to raise her glass.

"To new partnerships and beginnings," she repeated before their glasses clinked and she took a sip.

"Many new beginnings for you. Are you excited for your engagement?" he asked. Asha paused before answering, detecting the thinly veiled bitterness in his tone.

"Uhh… yes, I suppose. Hasani is a good man, and will be leader of the Merchant Tribe. It is a good match."

"'You suppose...' 'It is a good match,'" M'baku repeated back to her. "Not necessarily what one would want to hear before getting engaged. What about love?"

"It is an arranged marriage… we do not love each other," she scoffed quickly.

Her eyes clamped shut immediately as she realized what she said. It was highly inappropriate to disparage her intended to another member of the Council. But there was some small part of her, a part she did not particularly understand, that needed him to know that this was not her choice, that she was a prisoner in all this.

"I-I am sorry, I should not speak like that to you as a member of the Council. Hasani is a great person. I pray Bast blesses us with a happy and prosperous life together."

Asha looked him in his eyes as she spoke and that made it so much harder. There was something in them that begged her to be vulnerable, to be honest, that pleaded with her to fall into the sea of him. And she wanted to... Bast she wanted to. But that was the issue with falling, the high of it was beautiful, thrilling. It fills you with inexplicable euphoria. But you never know what awaits you at the bottom: a calm oasis that envelops you in safety and warmth or the rough waves and jagged edges of rocks that end the thrill with deafening pain. Asha had no idea what awaited her at the bottom, in the sea that was Lord M'Baku, and the risks were too high to find out.

M'Baku let out a deep sigh but nodded, respecting her wishes not to be honest. But he saw it: the crack in her ironclad demeanor. He could tell he struck a nerve... the bright smile in her eyes that immediately fell at the mention of her engagement, the quickness of which she corrected him about the reasons behind it, the clearly forced words when she caught herself being too honest. But this girl's walls were high, and he was slowly putting the puzzle pieces of why together. It would take more than a few stolen moments in the dark in a library to break them down.

"No need to apologize, your highness. An arranged marriage though? How primitive. I would think the Golden Tribe would be more progressive. Are T’Challa and Nakia?"

"You would think wouldn’t you? And yes originally but they fell in love on their own, T'Challa encouraged her to become a War Dog... they drifted apart but love eventually helps things drift back together in the end. But things with T'Challa and Nakia were not as complicated."

"Because she is not gifted?"

Asha sighed, putting the glass down before responding, "Yes... it just complicates everything, every interaction and relationship. A nuisance I would not wish on my worst enemy," she muttered, more to herself than him, as she picked up her glass to take another sip. "This is very delicious by the way. Thank you."

He raised his glass in response. "So is that nuisance why you wear those rings?" He gestured down at her hands.

She sighed, "Yes. Without them... without them, I wouldn't be able to control it. I could hurt people, it- I am dangerous."

"You believe you are dangerous?"

She held his gaze for a moment, before it became too overwhelming and she looked back down at the cup of rum in her hand. She tilted the glass back and forth, watching the brown liquid moving around her wooden cup as she stared.

"You don’t?" She asked softly. "I could injure or kill someone without a second thought. You don’t think that makes me dangerous?"

"I think Hanuman doesn’t create weapons… I don’t worship Bast so I cannot speak for her but I would like to think she would not either. The Chosen are here to help elevate, advance or protect the Jabari and Wakanda. Yes, all of their gifts can be used as weapons when needed but that is their choice. Powers only become dangerous when we fail to foster the beauty in it. It seems no one has taken the time to foster the beauty of your gift. Perhaps that is why you feel that way?"

He doesn’t know what he is talking about. He has never seen what you can do. How you can hurt people.

"Perhaps. But very few people are willing to risk their lives for that, especially for us with powers capable of hurting others. Wakanda will never accept mutants, never consider them as anything other than a danger. Tolerate? Avoid open hostility? Maybe… But what you’re talking about? Respect, admiration... That will not happen in my lifetime. I can't even fathom what that would be like."

"Is that why you haven't read that book yet?"

Asha's eyes snapped up to look at her host, surprise coloring her face.

“How did you know?”

She didn't get it, how he knew her...saw her so clearly and vividly. She didn't want to admit he was right... that book that she had opened several times, read a few pages about the reverence the Jabari held for mutants only to close it angrily. The longing for a different life, a different custom too painful to bear.

He chuckled, “It was not that big of a leap to be honest. I figured if you read it, you have questions, want to know more about them. Since you haven’t asked about the Chosen yet, I took a stab in the dark.”

"I-I wanted to read it... I just haven't had the opportunity. I can give it back, I have had it too long, I suppose."

She avoided his eyes, opting to stare at a portrait of a couple across from her seat. She assumed they were his parents, both shared a striking resemblance to the man before her.

"No... I gave it to you. Keep it, until the opportunity arises." She nodded, refusing to catch his eye.

They sat in silence for a few moments, M'Baku staring a hole into her side of her face as she actively avoided his gaze.

"Well, thank you for the drink Lord M'Baku but I think I should retire for the evening. It is getting late."

"O-of course. Amari will show you back to your room." He quickly stood up and ushered her toward the door. They saluted each other before she turned to walk down the hall behind his personal guard.

"Princess Asha!"

She heard her name behind her causing her to turn around. She was secretly thankful, unready to say goodbye to him just yet. She turned around quickly, facing him again.

"I go on a morning walk every day. W-w-would you like to join me?" he stammered slightly, his nerves getting the best of him.

She smiled softly, having to bite down the immediate yes that almost fell from her lips. She knew it likely was not a good idea, spending more time with him would not help her. But simultaneously, she desired to be around someone who thought so highly of her.

"Y-yes, Lord M’Baku. I would like that very much."

He nodded before sliding back into the door frame of his office. "Good. Goodnight, your highness."

They saluted each other before she turned back down the hall with his guard leading the way, a bright small on her face as she went.

****

Asha tossed and turned throughout the night. She didn’t mind the lack of sleep except that the nights dragged on without it. She instead spent most of the night replaying her conversation with M’Baku in her head. She wished she could go back and relive it over and over again. She checked her beads every ten minutes it seemed to see if they were any closer to their morning date.

It’s not a date! She screamed at herself. Engaged princesses can’t go on dates.

Fine, not a date. A friendly walk between acquaintances? Friends. She settled on quickly. That is what they were… friends. It sounded far less appealing than how she truly wanted him. But that was all she could get. He didn’t feel that way about her, and even if he did, she had a fiancee in the way.

She huffed and flopped over in bed, annoyed with the voice of logic in her brain. She stared intently at the ceiling.

The guard told her that Lord M’Baku typically took his walk at sunrise. She waited and waited and waited until the alarm on her kimoyo beads, set to alert her 30 minutes prior to sunrise went off. She felt absurd, the way she nearly catapulted out of bed the moment her alarm rang in the still air once. But thankfully, there was no one around but Bast to witness it.

She threw on her outfit for the walk, a sweater, leggings and snow boots. It was casual but she paired it with some light makeup, like Shuri taught her. She still wanted to look her best.

She pulled half of her braids into a half up, half down style. She pulled her rings back on before examining herself in the mirror.

Asha never considered herself to be beautiful. She wasn’t ugly by far but beautiful? That was Nakia and Okoye… women that men sought after. But today, even she had to admit that she looked good. She adjusted herself in the mirror for one last moment before opening her door to find Kide.

He said nothing, responding to her "good morning" with a polite head nod before heading down the hall. She quickly followed after him, trying to keep up with his brisk pace. Soon, they were at the front of the Lodge. Two guards framed the entrance of the Lodge as Kide led her down the staircase to meet Lord M’Baku.

"Good morning Princess," he said as she approached.

She replied with the same as she took in his fidgeting hands, the way he moved his weight from one side to the other as he stood, the lack of certainty in his eyes. She wanted to ease his anxiety somehow but how could she when she felt it too? She just was better at hiding it.

They set off down a path to the left of the Lodge. A comfortable silence fell over them as they listened to the rustling in the trees, the early morning calls of birds. They stole glances at each other every few minutes but otherwise, Asha simply enjoyed the walk.

They walked until they reached a small hill overlooking a creek in the forest. It appeared to be a hidden oasis, a picturesque scene plucked straight from a movie.

"This is beautiful," she marveled as they approached the rocks that led to a cliff over the creek.

"I know."

He motioned toward a few large rocks they could sit on at the top of the hill. He dusted the snow off before she sat down.

“Do you come here often?” She asked as she looked off the hill onto the creek.

She imagined it looked gorgeous in the summer with lush green grass, full trees and a babbling creek.

“Yes, N’Danna and I found it some time ago. It has been a secret haven for us ever since. He comes more than me though, for the solitude. For when he doesn’t want to hear anymore.”

Asha perked up, eyeing his profile, wondering how much she could probe.

“Doesn’t want to hear anymore? What does that mean?”

M’Baku smiled slightly, “I am shocked you hadn’t picked up on it by now, as a Chosen yourself. He can read minds… his ‘knack for anticipating your needs.’”

“Ohhhhh.”

Realization washed over her. She felt stupid really, now every interaction with him made even more sense. She stopped the wave of embarrassment from washing over her as well, refusing to think about what other thoughts he picked up swirling around her head about his chief.

“He wouldn’t bring up anything he heard to you or anyone else, just so you know. But sometimes, constantly hearing is too much for him so this spot helps. For me, it is just peaceful. I know it should be the temple but this is where I come to pray… be one with Hanuman.”

Asha nodded, “When I was young, there was a statue of Bast laying in the Royal Gardens. I used to sit next to her and read or pray and it was the only place in my small world that I thought Bast heard me, actually listened to me.”

M’Baku sensed the sadness in her voice, the tinge of pain in her eyes as she spoke of the past. “‘Used to?’”

“I don’t really pray anymore,” she whispered, pressing her hand into a new patch of snow next to her. M’Baku watched as the snow around her hand immediately melted into a puddle of water, the heat flush under her skin too much to allow it to stay in its solid form.

“What kind of God curses children as Bast did me? My father used to call it an abomination. It is hard to believe… it is hard to trust in a God who does things like that.”

“What did your father have against mutants?”

Asha looked off to the side, her eyes trained on the tree branches weighed heavily with snow.

“He believed that Bast only ordained one enhanced being in Wakanda… the Black Panther. You are not born with it. By winning the tribal combat, by surviving the visit to the Ancestral Plane… Bast chooses you. Her power, her gift chooses you. You earn it. He took offense to anyone being born with powers he had to earn. It is the opposite of your custom. We were not chosen and so, in his mind, our existence is against her will.”

“If only you had been born here instead of with the lowlanders. Things would have been different.”

“Yes, I suppose they would have. But then I wouldn’t have T’Challa and Shuri… Nakia, Okoye and Ayo… Alexis,” she listed.

M’Baku smiled to himself as he saw her face light up at the list of people she had in her life. It was probably the first genuine smile he had seen on her face when she was talking about home.

Silence fell over the two as they sat, they watched the sun finish rising high in the sky before M’Baku stood and helped her up.

“My home life isn’t all tragic and sad, you know?” she said randomly as they found their way back to the trail that would lead them back to the Lodge. “I feel like it may seem that way, given our conversations but there is good there too. My life isn’t overflowing with amazing people, I haven’t really had the opportunity to meet many people honestly. But the people that are there… the love that is there… It is bright, it sustains me through everything. I wish some things were different, it is true. But all of them make my life worth living.”

“I don’t doubt it. I saw your grief, your relief when you saw T’Challa. I imagine there are few siblings with a bond as deep as yours. I don’t mean to judge your life or the lowlanders. I just believe you and people like you deserve more. Which is why I would like to ask you to do something for me as my guest here.”

“Yes?”

“I would like you to not wear those rings for the rest of this trip.”

Her eyes bugged out of her head as his request cycled into her ears and registered in her brain.

“What? No. No. I am sorry Lord M’Baku but I do not think that is wise. I could lose control… burn your house down, hurt someone. It is too great a risk when I am supposed to be here winning the affections of your people.”

He laughed, “You think you are so out of sync with your powers that taking those off for a few days would lead to a forest fire? You did not seem to have this many reservations in the library that night? Or was a room full of paper books not as important? You are afraid to truly let your powers show and I understand given the way you were raised. But you are only here for three days… You wish things were different yes? Here they can be. Why spend the next three days hiding when you have to go back to that when you leave? This is the one place in Wakanda that you do not have to hide. Enjoy it.”

His proposition did sound alluring… freedom for more than just a few moments. She was still hesitant though. She hadn’t been without her rings for more than a day or two since she was a teenager. And had she become so accustomed to pretending to be someone else that she forgot how to be herself? She never learned how to effectively use her powers, she didn’t even know the extent of them. Hell, she had no idea she could float, possibly fly, until her breakdown after T’Challa’s death. How many more abilities did she have that she didn’t even know about. Was now, as a guest in someone else’s home the best time to find out?

What other time or opportunity would you have? You certainly can’t do so at home. He is right, now is the rare moment to be free.

Her slender fingers fiddled with the delicate rings on the opposite hand as she looked up at him with eyes filled with skepticism. There it was again… that indescribable thing about him that made her want to fall. She could feel it too, every moment she was with him, he pulled her closer and closer to the cliff’s edge. She would pull back and he would be right there tugging her forward again.

He smiled at her, his eyes filled with mischief and delight as her fingers started pulling one ring off after another. Before she knew it, she could feel the tension in her body release, feel the panther slowly ease out of her cage. She took a step back from him as sparks and smoke emanated from her hands. She took a few deep breaths, regulating her body’s response until they stopped. He gave her an encouraging nod as he took a step toward her. It was not tentative or hesitant like people have done in the past. It was deliberate and confident, as if he was determined to let her know that he was not afraid of her.

“Deal,” she said softly.

They stared at each other for a few moments before they both noticed soft embers rising between them. She had only seen those once before, with him in the library, and now she wondered if that was her body’s natural response to the affection she felt toward him.

“U-um, we should head back yes? I don’t want your guard to think I kidnapped their chief,” she chuckled awkwardly.

He nodded and they set back on their way, their bodies closer together, hands brushing against each other every few steps. Asha anticipated it, longed for that brief physical contact each time. It provided warmth and comfort her body hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Before she knew it, they were back in the Lodge and standing outside her door.

“Well this is where I leave you. I will see you in,” he quickly checked his watch for the time,” two hours for our first meeting, your highness?”

“I will be there,” she answered as she pushed against the heavy wooden door that lead to her room. “Oh Lord M’Baku? I now have a request for you. It is just Asha. No your highness or Princess. Just Asha.”

A big grin spread across his face as he took in her request. “Ok then, ‘just Asha.” Only if you call me M’Baku.” He held his hand out for her to shake on their new deal. She started to raise her hand before remembering their previous deal and quickly clutched it to her chest.

“We will work up to that, yes?” He retracted his hand and let it fall back to his side.

“Yes, please.”

He nodded, giving her one last longing look before heading down the hallway.

“M’Baku!” She called after him, unable to let their last private moment for the day pass without saying one final thing. “Thank you,” she said as he turned around to look at her again.

He offered her another smile and a head nod before turning back around. The thank you required no explanation, he knew what it meant and knew it was unnecessary. He didn’t deserve a thank you for recognizing her humanity. He was just excited to realize that those high walls were coming down brick by brick. He wasn’t sure if he was prepared for what lays behind them but he knew it would be glorious.

@destinio1 @muse-of-mbaku @missmohnique @jellybean531 @afrolatinpami @archivistofwakanda @leahnicole1219

#Black Writers #black panther fanfiction #black panther imagines #black panther fics #m'baku x reader #m'baku imagine #m'baku x oc

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theincompetentgenius · 5 years

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Negative traits of mine: forgetful, oblivious, impulsive, clumsy(pro at breaking things lmaoo) and moody. Some of my hobbies include reading, writing, playing instruments, crocheting, and doing makeup! My dream date is cuddling in bed on a rainy day and having my head pet/hair played with!! Maybe some hand holding, forehead kisses and whispering mushy stuff to each other too🥺 As for appearance im 5'3 and curvy with wavy brown hair chubby cheeks and blue eyes! Thank you so much!💖 (part 2/2)💌

You sound like an absolute sweetheart??? You’re pretty much the aesthetic of adorable. Thanks for the request and I hope you enjoy my response!

Ikemen Sengoku

I’d pair you with ................... Date Masamune!

If you couldn’t tell, I’m a major sucker for the introverted x extroverted trope. Maybe I watch too many movies or these otome games are doing a number on me, but it’s basically my matchup law.

Why? It’s because as an introvert, you’re not likely to approach anyone and making close connections can become very difficult. However, Masamune’s outgoing and curious nature is going to draw him towards you. He’ll have no problem pestering you and forcing you to talk to him.

Once your guard has fallen, you feel comfortable being your true self! Every time Masamune tries to hit on you, you pull out your favorite sarcastic comments. Lucky for you, he’s not offended and laughs. It only piques his interest because he’s never seen a sweet girl with a bit of sass.

I can see you two having major teasing wars against each other. It’s impossible to say who starts it because it is natural to both of you. However, I can say that you will lose 99% of the time. That’s because Masamune is going to lean in close, pull your waist towards him, and give his favorite smirk. And there is no one on this planet that can beat that except for maybe Mitsuhide.

The real loser is everyone else in Azuchi Palace. Since you can’t win against Masamune, you call a truce with him. He accepts, on the condition that you guys gang up on the other warlords and look for people to tease. Soon, you guys create a systematic routine: you pop out of nowhere and make a joke, while Masamune jumps from the opposite side and makes another awful joke. Nobunaga considered executing both of you because you guys did it while he was asleep.

Your primary candidate: Ieyasu

Your backup: Hideyoshi

The good about this relationship is that most of your negative traits are covered by Masamune’s attentiveness. When you two go out, you don’t notice the gazes of other men while Masamune sees them immediately. He’ll put an arm around your shoulder and pull you towards his chest. Not only does it make you warm inside, but it tells the other men to stay away. Despite his reckless attitude, Masamune is quick to assess any possible dangers that you may face.

Also, Masamune is absolutely in love with your makeup? He’ll be awed at the different colors schemes you used for eyeshadow, the black eyeliner that makes your eyes so alluring, and the foundation for your flawless skin. But importantly, he’ll go blind from your poppin’ highlight.

Another possibility: Akechi Mitsuhide

Ikemen Revolution

I’d pair you with ........................ Ray Blackwell!

Alright, I’ll deviate from my rule of introvert x extrovert here. Just because this paring would be really cute and filled with so many fluffy moments even though I suck at fluff? My stone, angsty heart is actually looking forward to all the fluff here.

Ok, so this relationship is able to start because of your curiosity! Naturally, you’d want to learn more about the man who caught you and was the first person you saw in the Cradle. Although he was King of Spades, he was much more reserved than you anticipated. You would go around asking about Ray and try to spend more time with him to get to know him better.

As the two of you spent more time together, Ray would tease you about your clumsiness and your obliviousness. You’d come back with a comment about his cat obsession and another teasing war would begin. Fortunately, you can actually win these battles. You like to seal your victory by sticking your tongue out at him.

There’s so much cuddling in this relationship??? I can imagine you guys reading together. Both of you are in his bed during a rainy evening, curled up against each other under a snug blanket. Ray has one book in his hand while you have another in your hand. He’ll idly run his fingers through your smooth, soft hair while your head nuzzles against his chest. You keep reading until you fall asleep on his arms. When you fall asleep, Ray will plant a kiss on your forehead and turn off the lights in the room.

When you’re writing something, your first person to run to is Ray. Not only is he extremely interested in reading your work, but he gives constructive feedback that makes your work so much stronger.

When you guys go out, you’ll be holding hands and laughing about the most random topics ever. In the middle of your trip, you get a little hungry and Ray buys you a snack. While you eat, you get a few crumbs below your lips. Ray will take the opportunity to mess with you.

“You got something next to your lips.” “No, not there.” “You just moved further down.” “Missed it by a tiny bit”

In the end, he’ll use his thumb to brush the crumbs away from your lips and run his finger over your lips. Your face turns red as he gives you a quick peck on your lips and a soft smirk. When he points out that your blushing (by giving a small poke on your cheek), you deny it until the very end. You don’t want him to get away, but you want some more fluff deep down.

When you play with Belle, his heart is about to explode! His favorite person and his favorite cat together is his favorite sight. While Belle is in your arms, he’ll sweep you off your feet and twirl you in the air. You get a mini-heart attack by trying to keep Belle in your arms, but you laugh when he brings you back to the ground. He places his forehead on your own forehead with the softest smile.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Another possibility: Fenrir Godspeed

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permian-tropos · 6 years

Text

TIME TO GUSH ABOUT TLJ cause I was looking through screenshots and here’s a bunch of things I might not have mentioned before and a few that I have

1) Paige Tico!!!! PAIGE TICO! her entire time in the spotlight is such a perfectly crafted, perfectly tense scene

2) UM THE OPENING SPACE BATTLE IS SICK the bombers have such striking silhouettes and this is used for some amazing shots

3) PAIGE’S DEATH BEING PRESENTED AS TRAGEDY (and not being softened heavily with the promise of being part of something meaningful the way R1′s deaths are)

4) Captain Candy Crush’s death is given gravity too and I stan this, he’s not made sympathetic and still there’s nothing triumphant about people being blown up. war is not good

5) Finn’s pod is very flattering and angelic even though his water suit is silly. he basically has a halo and no filmmaker would accidentally give a character a halo so jot that down

6) Snoke’s throne room being utilitarian AND extravagant at the same time is impressive. also I still love the way that Snoke’s real form was made to be this exaggeratedly WASPy old man with the skin texture and wrinkles and pale tufty eyebrow hair, and you know what else? the fact that the camera favors showing the undamaged side of his face. I fucking stan the fact that Johnson took another disfigured villain and played up his old caucasian grandpa looks and made his disfigurement blend into his age. Snoke is a caricature of horrid old white men, possibly the first successful caricature of whiteness in speculative fiction. he looks like Henry Kissinger

7) Kylo Ren’s bandaid has a pattern on it. we ask ourselves. why. did he get to pick out the pattern. are there multiple patterns. are they all edgy and black. I’m now completely invested in whoever decided that they would have patterned bandaids but not make them TOO fun

8) the movie is so pretty im just. the fuckign. aesthetic. all of it. the palette seems to have been taken from a thunderstorm and it’s perfect. the use of gray is a reason I happen to think people didn’t like the film. they were like what the fuck is all this gray in star wars. star wars shouldn’t be gray. but it’s so unique, it’s not the gray of lazy color grading, it’s the gray of someone who knew that the feeling of haze and uncertainty needed some gray and rolled it in like a fog. I’m going to have to post more screenshots

9) I like the fact that the puppet porgs, as opposed to the CGI porgs, are actually kinda ugly cute

10) everything mark hamill does is perfect. every line, every facial expression, every pose. every moment from luke in tlj is unbelievably iconic. alec guinness would be so jealous

11) Luke perking up and genuinely smiling when he sees R2D2 is the purest moment I have to just

my eyes are moist

12) the architecture and set design is so amazing too? I love this shot introducing Rose, the harsh contrast that draws your eye away from her, the way she’s fading into her corner of brownish-gray, it’s so good for evoking... idk, just how the world seems too bright and too stark and made of shapes, after someone you love dies

13) I really love how much time we spend on Ahch-To, and how none of it has any campy space action. you’d expect to see some training there, but a lot of people were clearly hoping that Luke and Rey would leave the planet. but we linger so much on the setting, a setting which wholly embodies Luke’s state of mind

14) old luke is a handsome gent. i don’t see enough people with the hots for old luke. this is a big mistake

15) this shot foreshadows Kylo Ren becoming the Supreme Leader IMO. we see him surveying the war machine, watching the instruments of death be constructed, set apart from everyone -- a glimpse into Kylo’s desire for absolute power without anything being direct. maybe he’s contemplating his isolated existence, how much he doesn’t belong in the Order. or maybe he sees an allure to all this. this is what he wants to possess. it’s probably a mixture of both

16) Rey and Luke!!!!!!! everything about how the film frames them develops their relationship!! even as Luke is testy with her, we get shots like these where they’re sharing a warm sunset light and having deep heart to hearts.

and you know what you know what what what

the fact that Rey starts asking WHO her parents are after meeting Luke is uhh clearly suggesting that she’s wondering if maybe Luke is her dad. I love in this one shot how he’s slumped and she’s sitting up straighter, making him the vulnerable one. I love how the sunset light highlights Rey’s buns. I love that she keeps her buns for a while. I love that people have headcanoned she kept the buns so that her parents would recognize her, and she has the buns in the whole time she’s trying to get Luke to act like the hero she believes in. like she’s trying to get him to recognize her

Rey adopts Luke as her dad and it’s beautiful get out of my face

17) ye there’s a lot of dead children but also I hadn’t really thought about the fact that R2 watched this as well? and R2 was powered off for so long, until the end of TFA? R2 was traumatized and grieving too, and he’s seen this before, he remembers all the way back to when it was Anakin

18) hors!!!!!!!

19) what the SHIT is this why is this movie a fucking painting why does it keep outdoing itself in paintingness argh the way this film uses the day-night cycle is unbelievable, having Rey and Finn’s stories be connected by having the same time

THE HCKING MOON THOUGH

20) Ok we could talk about how the cold blue moonlight of uncertainty has become the warm orange light of companionship but we can’t forget what firelight also represents re: Kylo cough burning temple nice little double meaning, is Rey making a new friend or is she being tempted, is he going to warm her or burn her

but also I haven’t thought about how fucking awkward Kylo looks!! is he sitting on that barrel?? like since he’s not there is he just sort of compositing himself into the scene? using a convenient barrel

21) see what I mean about blue being cold. blue = asceticism, red = indulgence, the two extremes

22) Luke sinks into darkness

23) BUT HE DOES ONE THING! the thing that breaks him out of his depression. he takes the fire -- which represents the burned temple, represents Ben Solo, represents the humanity of the Dark Side -- into his own hands. we see the fire symbolizing destruction, then intimacy, then change, in such short succession

fire represents light-dark, something that is both at once. we’ll get back to this

24) you could say that balance is about making your own light in the darkness

also this is why Poe’s line about being the spark that will burn the First Order down isn’t ~too violent~ cause fire has become a symbol of change, of destruction reclaimed as something restorative, thank you very much

25) can we talk about the fact that between this being like a coffin and the way Rey is holding the saber, this actually has the heaviest resemblance to the way medieval knights were depicted atop their sarcophagi. I don’t even know what it means but maybe it hints that Rey sees herself as a martyr and a crusader in this quest to redeem Kylo and prove her valor

26) the fact that Poe isn’t the only one who gets in on the coup. because the Resistance isn’t a real military it’s a few thousand antifas gathered from all around the galaxy and their numbers are dwindling fast. people kind of put it all on Poe but Connix and Finn and Rose and this woman and this man and this alien were part of it too, and they could have told Poe to cut it out. I like how the blonde woman seems like she’s not sure what’s going on, she’s evaluating the situation

27) you know what I stan? I continue to stan aspects of how Snoke is portrayed. I stan the fact that he gets all close up in Rey’s face and grabs her cheek and it kind of mirrors the way Kylo gets in her personal space in TFA but even less so than in TFA, Rey is not framed in the way girls often are when they’re restrained and in distress. when she’s being tortured, we’re not given any tantalizing views of her body. Snoke floating her around the room has her stiff and awkward, and the close-up of her screaming in pain puts the camera behind her head so we see this from her POV, we’re not voyeuristically staring at her, we’re experiencing this indignity with her

28) Kylo Ren killing Snoke has the exact same light on his face as when he killed Han Solo. this is very very interesting

here I am in my corner of Kylo having twisted affection for Snoke as well

29) I wish I could ship this more cause I don’t need all this talk of fairy tale weddings and force pregnancies when here they are slicing up lobster boys with laser swords

30) oh but this is where he makes Rey look sad and thats where!!! you know hes gonna have to pay!!! basically everything about the scene where Kylo tears Rey’s heart out and stomps on it and then asks her to be grateful is extremely well done and it did its intended job of making me Big Mad At Kylo

also look the fire is back its Symbolic

31) you know what I can’t show in this post? the FUCKING SOUND THAT COMES AFTER THE HYPERSPEED RAM. that sound is the most glorious sound I’ve heard come out of a movie. it’s like a massive metal whale’s death scream. Star Wars has always run on sound design but literally that sound (along with the scene it’s attached to) outdoes everything that has come before it holy wow

32) Finn WHACKING Phasma. he didn’t use a lightsaber in this film, but he uses the baton he picked up the same way he used the lightsaber, and it even glows blue for good measure. and we can’t forget that this movie shows a boy holding a broom like a lightsaber, and Rey practicing saberplay with her staff, so -- objects that are not lightsabers symbolizing lightsabers is a thing

33) I didn’t think about the fact that the Supreme Leader’s throne room is designed to display a view of the outside, or be cloaked in red. possibly it could display anything it pleases. this is great fun for imagining First Order characters making it display things they want to see, like beautiful vistas, or holofilms. possibly it can recreate whole scenes, like a Star Trek holodeck

34) I don’t have to talk about how Leia is framed by the dawn on Crait do I? we already got the picture when it comes to the day-night cycle and how beautiful it is

35) BABY 8 I can’t believe this droid gets belly scritches and nuzzles from Poe

36) fucking love when Kylo finally snaps and starts throwing petty tantrums again at the end of the film like he holds back his brattiness for 12 hours and then here comes the screaming and foot stamping and flailing

I have thrown too many temper tantrums in my life to not want to see one on the big screen in its full glory. no one has pushed him to the point where he’s just ugly crying on the floor, spewing snot and tearing at his hair

I got vicarious pleasure out of Poe’s outburst on the bridge too. people being angry and not being in the right. it’s something I need for catharsis

37) miniaturized Death Star technology aka BIGGEST LIGHTSABER. Kylo stop compensating

but AU where a ginormous person uses the cannon as an actual saber

38) I’VE TALKED ABOUT HOW FINN’S MOMENT IS IN MY TOP TWO FEELS MOMENTS (top one is the hyperslice) but basically if you don’t think he was affected by seeing the slave kids on Canto Bight, what do you think he’s so angry about here, what do you think has him in a blinding rage?

why do movies have to spell everything out for people in exhaustive detail? the only new thing Finn gets from his experience with Rose, is seeing how the First Order isn’t this isolated enclave of evil. the most powerful people in the galaxy have been supporting it all along. he stops trying to run away because he realizes there is nowhere he can run that won’t have injustice. and he’s seen villagers being massacred, he’s seen the Order attack people he cares about, he’s been personally threatened and had one-on-one duels, but on his trip with Rose he sees children being beaten into submission with electric whips

can’t believe people think Finn wasn’t affected by that when it’s the one thing motivating his character growth

every time he sees civilians getting hurt -- children and families -- he sees himself and the family he’ll never know in them, and is so overwhelmed that he does something brash and radical and self-endangering every time, and his arc is about learning to live with that anger. he runs away from feeling and his angst is so beautiful

and I’m still in the camp of Finn having had a Zuko-like arc when he was a teenager because that boiling frustration at not being able to express his natural empathy is what drove Zuko to angst so hard

FINN IS THE SOLIDARITY KING! HE CARES SO FUCKING MUCH

39) fire. Luke facing his demons involves him walking through a gate of flame, out of the darkness, into the light

I will say that this is also very Buddhist imagery -- the flaming sword symbolizes wisdom, which cuts through the veil of illusion, specifically the illusion of duality

“Mañjuśrī is depicted as a male bodhisattva wielding a flaming sword in his right hand, representing the realization of transcendent wisdom which cuts down ignorance and duality”

and of course fire being the bridge between light and dark has come up before in the film. the veil is visibly burning here, Luke having fully reclaimed the image of fire, which was earlier in the film held by Kylo Ren

I mean. just. YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

40) something about this shot is extra special. everything that’s going on on the salt flats is like on this higher dimension, this spiritual plane

41) for a moment it looks like Luke and the First Order are standing against Kylo. gives you a glimpse into Kylo’s state of mind. is the Order his weapon, or his enemy? it’s both, and he’s absolutely terrified of it

also I’ve talked about how Palpatine’s Contingency plan is about getting revenge on his Empire because he hates its power as much as he revels in it, and he dedicates a good deal of time plotting ways to kill it, because he needs to prove that he is more powerful than it

being the Emperor or Supreme Leader carries with it the distinct horror of knowing that you can never be more powerful than the thing that has empowered you

42)

43) Luke achieving 100% maximum Buddhist allegory

44) the slope of the floor is the slope of the opening crawl of a Star Wars film

all right that’s all folks

#my post #star wars sequel trilogy #the last jedi #kind of a rewatch #rey of jakku #rebel finn #kylo ren #luke skywalker #finnrey #cw reylo #cw anti reylo #villain kylo #things I don't focus on as much #poe's arc (have talked about Holdo a lot)#rose (have talked about her a lot)

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cyclogenesis · 6 years

Note

Cheating as a fic prompt because I already wrote this exact sentence in an ask weeks ago but tbh I have never stopped wanting it 'Ashton and Luke subvert gender stereotypes in a series of escalating dares!!!'

Influencer. Ashton/Luke. 968 words, also on AO3.

Ashton acts like he’s the one who invented the concept of men wearing makeup, but Luke’s completely secure in the knowledge that this one started with him, at least in the band. None of them have ever minded a bit of nail polish but Luke was the one who upped the ante and went for rose gold. Suddenly now Ashton’s all roses and glitter as if Luke didn’t go glam rock first and get the new aesthetic going. Call him an influencer, it’s fine.

“I’m really glad you’re wearing makeup too, Luke,” Ashton says. He leans in closer to the dressing room mirror, hogging it. Luke gracefully allows it. “It looks good on you. I think it’s a nice new visual direction for us as a band.” He carefully dips his finger into a pot of microfine gold glitter, then swipes it under his lower eyelashes. It catches in the light, sparkling like tears.

“I’m going to put glitter on my eyelids,” Luke decides. Ashton gives him a skeptical look, as if wearing makeup like you’re supposed to is somehow controversial. At the last second Luke quails and pretends he wasn’t going for the black glitter shadow; it feels too easy to fuck up. What he puts on instead is sheer, a silvery blue that shifts in the light. “What do you think?” he asks Ashton, who’s pretending to do his hair but mostly looking at Luke out of the corner of his eye.

“You look like an angel,” Ashton says. “A hungover angel.”

Luke shrugs, pleased. He’ll take it.

The YSL mascara isn’t cheap, but it is gold and sparkly. Also not as easy to put on as Luke had expected it would be, but whatever, he’s not some beauty guru, okay? Yet.

“Mascara?” squawks Ashton. “Isn’t that a bit, you know?”

Luke waits for him to go on, serene. He has all day. He has all day, sparkly golden eyelashes, and a bitchin’ cat eye.

“It’s just less Bowie and more Joan Jett at this point,” Ashton says finally, looking troubled. Looking also ethereal, with gold glitter fading to pink on his cheeks, and what looks like a light eye gloss as well. Luke’s fairly certainly he’s still winning this one, but it’s nice that Ashton’s willing to play.

“Would you say you’re jealous that I can pull off Joan Jett better than you?” Luke asks. He bats his beautiful golden eyelashes.

“I think androgyny is sexy,” Michael says, passing by with a bottle of water from the fridge while also Facetiming his girlfriend. “Luke, you look really hot.” He aims his phone at Luke.

“Wow, you do look really hot,” Crystal says.

Luke preens.

“I could do a Joan Jett thing!” Ashton says. “I look hot in eyeliner!”

From the dressing room couch Calum says, “You look hot in anything. Come do my glitter.” He doesn’t move from his position, lying down on his back with his eyes closed.

Huffily, Ashton goes over and glitters up Calum’s cheekbones.

“Do you think I’d look good in lipstick?” Luke asks Crystal and Michael.

“100%,” Michael and Crystal agree.

“You are such a fuck,” Ashton says, three days later, cornering Luke before their set as Luke expected he would, hoped he would. “Is this some weird competition we’re in? Are we one-upping each other with makeup, is that what’s happening? Some kind of femme-off?”

“So you admit you enjoy looking femme,” Luke says. Ashton’s leaned into it tonight, brought out the big guns: full on Fenty Trophy Wife highlighter on his cheekbones, glitter in his hair, skillfully applied gold eyeliner on a shimmering lid. His lips are bare, but Luke’s aren’t; it took some time at the local Sephora, but Luke’s got the perfect red flush on his lips courtesy Pat McGrath. He looks kissed, and roughly. He’s pretty sure the bratty thrill of one-upping Ashton - or something - is making him blush. He’s working it, anyway. “It’s okay, man. You can look pretty. You do look pretty.”

“Masculine pretty though,” Ashton says, a little desperately. “Isn’t lipstick a bit too far?” He keeps staring at Luke’s mouth like he doesn’t understand it, like he wants to.

“It’s hot,” Luke says, taking care to approach gently, his fingertips light on Ashton’s jaw, tilting his face up a little closer. “Don’t you think it looks hot?” It’s a reckless, thrilling feeling to toy with Ashton like this - or not to toy with him, not when he looks so torn, not when Luke could help him understand. “Don’t you wanna try it?”

“Yeah,” Ashton says finally, licking his lips, his hands warm on Luke’s shoulders, so Luke leans in. Ashton closes his eyes, and Luke kisses him firmly, careful with a closed mouth that makes him want more, harder, to see what Ashton would let him do, what Ashton would want to do to him - but after not enough time Ashton’s pushing back, breaking away with a gasp of breath and a red, kissed mouth. Luke reaches out automatically to fix a little smear at the corner of Ashton’s mouth where his kiss grew clumsy, too eager, and Ashton lets him, his eyelids fluttering closed, centering himself.

“You look beautiful,” Luke tells him, his voice breaking a little in the middle of it, something else in him breaking at the thought of more than this, Ashton looking after him, telling him he’s lovely and being good to him. Glitter-smeared bedsheets and breakfast in the morning with someone who really loves him. Attention from someone who actually knows him and loves him anyway. Ashton, just Ashton.

Ashton giggles a bit, his cheeks flushing red under gold, and says, “We both do.” He holds out his hand for Luke to take, his grip warm and sure, and leads them both to the stage.

#lashton #5sos #5sos slash #5sos fanfic #luke hemmings/ashton irwin #this is ALMOST your prompt? close enough i hope?#hope you like it babe!!!#sycamoretrees #asks #my fic

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eequalsmcscared · 6 years

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Fander Secret Santa Gift!

So I finally was able to finish the fic for @thelonglostmarauder ! I was your @fander-secret-santa and this is the really long fanfiction I wrote based on your prompt. I kinda got carried away but I hope you like it! I also want to say a big thank you to my boyfriend and my best friend Steph for proof reading the whole fic! You guys are real troopers and are amazing. Anyways, enjoy the story everyone! Title: Acceptance is Possible Prompt: The Sides discover Virgil has anxiety, despite being anxiety, and try to come up with ways to help Thomas without Virgil being anxious. Warnings: Panic Attacks, Cussing, and Mentions of Fighting (tell me if I need to add more!) Word Count: 4,103 (like I said, it’s really long. It’s like...a little over 6 pages on a Google doc so yeah..)

Abstract: Is this who I’ll always be?

Virgil’s leg bounced up and down as he waited in anticipation for the day to start. Of course, nothing particularly big was going to happen today. Or at least that was the plan. No, the constant fear of what will happen tomorrow...er today, considering it’s currently five in the morning, was keeping Virgil wide awake. He had given up trying to sleep a few hours ago, opting to sit at his desk and twiddle around with various items to keep his mind distracted. He had learned through the years that a distracted mind is a good mind. Doing things constantly allowed virgil no room to think because “Thinking is bad and it could hurt Thomas,” Virgil muttered to himself as he pushed his swivel chair away from his desk. It was a mantra he had made for himself and was currently repeating it as he paced across the black carpeted floor.

After doing that mindlessly, Virgil’s tired eyes take a glance at the clock on his nightstand. In dull red numbers, it read 5:30 am. “Meaning Logan should be up in 3...2…” A soft click of the logical side’s door signified that he was awake. Virgil couldn’t help but smirk at his timing. “You did it again Virge,” he congratulated himself.

Virgil turned himself towards his closet, deciding it was time to start the day. He felt himself grow jittery as his mind plagued him with torturous thoughts of how the day could go. His breathing began to grow uneven as he searched his closet for his comfort hoodie. His eyes darted around the closet in frantic motion as he searched desperately for the piece of clothing. Once his eyes caught a glimpse of the gray plaid fabric, his hands shot forward and pulled it towards his body. Virgil’s hands worked quickly as possible to pull the fabric over his shoulders, feeling a marjor rush of relief once the task was done.

Still tense but a lot less panicked, Virgil walked over to his body length mirror to asses the damage of the two to three hours of broken sleep had caused his body. “And which parts can I cover up,” his tired voice muttered to an empty room.

He moved the black felt blanket that had hung over the mirror, out of the way so he could stare at his reflection. From what he saw, it wasn’t pretty. His eyes were bloodshot and the bags under them were a dark purple. His skin a tone paler and his eyes half-lidded. Over all, Virgil looked purely exhausted. “Well,” He turned his body to the left slightly to grab the makeup hidden in his drawer, “time to get to work.”

After applying a warm tone foundation, concealer, highlighter, and some warm tone eyeshadow; Virgil looked more like an actual person rather than a barely living corpse. He finished his look by straightening his hair so it flopped over his eyes and adding to his signature ‘bags’. It was a bit counter-productive, Virgil knew, to cover his real bags by applying fake ones over it but if it kept the facade of being the non-anxious, angsty emo guy the others pegged him to be, then he was willing to comply. “Besides,” Virgil spoke aloud to himself, “I kinda like that aesthetic.”

Virgil dusted off his hands to get rid of any powder that might’ve been left over and began to quickly put the supplies away. Any evidence of his makeover was whipped clean from existence.He hummed, momentarily content with himself. Soon the thought of having to leave his room and socialize with them: Patton, Roman, and Logan. He checked the clock once more to see who would be up and just how long it took him to get ready. “Just over a half-hour, not too bad,” he tried to boost his morales up but his anxious mind wasn’t taking the bait.

Virgil took a deep breath, wiping his sweaty palms onto his ripped jeans before shakily reaching his hand towards the doorknob. “You got this Virgil, just put on the facade like you do everyday,” he whispered quietly to himself in an attempt to calm his racing heart. “You can do this. You have to do this.” and with that, he took a deep breath and submerged himself in facade of the confident, bitchy emo who didn’t care about Thomas and only wanted to hurt him.

He began the short quest down the hall which tapered off into the kitchen. By the sound of warm-bubbling talking and the clanking of dishes, Patton was up and on his way to making the other’s breakfast. Logan would be there too, sitting at his usual spot at the table. He would, no doubt, be drinking his black coffee while Patton talked his ear off. The logical trait would just nod his head and make a ‘hmmm’ or an ‘ooh’ to make it seem like he was listening, his mind still very much asleep. The image Virgil created caused a small smile to break through before he quickly put back his typical scowl.

The one-sided conversation came to a screeching halt once Virgil’s presence had been established. Internally, he groaned as he felt the stress and tension rise while the other two just stared at him. When Virgil caught eyes with Logan, he was met with mild hatred and annoyance. ‘Typical.’ He was tempted to roll his eyes but since Virgil was only anxiety and will only ever be anxiety, he decided to give Logan a slight nod. He then turned his attention to Patton who visibly flinched. Inside, it made him scream “You don’t have to be afraid of me! I would never hurt you Patton!” but he didn’t say a word. He just kept his gaze on the peppy trait who began to squirm.

“M-morning Anx!” Patton stuttered out, attempting to clear the tension in the air. Of course, none of it faded, “H-how...how did you uh...did you sleep?”

Virgil raised his a brow, as to say really?, before heading over to the cupboards to grab a mug for some much needed coffee. “What’s it matter to you?” he said with a malicious bite in his tone causing Patton to supper with a reply. He smirked with faux pleasure as he poured himself a rather large cup of coffee.

“Save some for Ro-” Patton cut himself off mid-sentence as Virgil took the rest of the coffee, “-man.” Patton sighed in defeat as he went to go and start another brew.

Virgil pulled himself up onto an unoccupied space at the counter. He rathered enjoyed sitting on objects that weren’t quite meant to be sat on. It brought him a small pleasure of joy which made the impact of the rest of his actions hurt a little less.

“Hmm, Anxiety,” Logan’s voice broke through the tense silence, “Can I conspire with you for a moment?” Virgil let out a huff of annoyance that wasn’t a part of the act as he slid down from his spot. ‘Oh boy,’ he thought as he made his way over, ‘here we go again.’

“Why were you making Thomas so anxious at such an early hour this morning?” There was a hint of anger under his annoyed and inconvenience tone. “You know Thomas needs at least a few hours of consistent sleep each night. By you making him anxious, it drags him out of that deep sleep and it leaves him feeling unrested and unprepared for the rest of the day.”

Virgil had to bite his tongue as Logan lectured him, not wanting to make the other side pissy. He also didn’t want to start a fight that would last the whole day. He simply gave Logan a cold, dead stare. Virgil had to refrain himself from bouncing his leg or fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie. Anxiety and anger bubbled to his chest as Logan went on and on about helping Thomas and heavily implied that Virgil wasn’t helping. But he didn’t care.

Instead, he tuned out Logan’s babbling words as he thought angrily. ‘Well if you would take your head out of your ass and try to understand what the fuck I’m going through, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, now would we? But nooo, you like to think I create an anxious disaster wherever I go! Maybe if you saw me having an attac-’

“Virgil,” Logan repeated again, snapping to get the darker side’s attention.

The closeness of Logan’s hand to Virgil’s face caused him to flinch slightly. “Hmm, what?”

Logan rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Typical,” he muttered, “you weren’t even paying attention. Nevermind then.”

In return, Virgil got up and walked back into the kitchen to see if breakfast was almost ready. He was feeling quite hungry and might attempt to steal a bit or two while Patton was cooking. His plans were spoiled when a particular dramatic side sang loudly throughout the house, “What a wonderful morning!”

Virgil opted to cover his ears as the loud and dramatic side bounded in, “Hello Logan! Morning Patton!” His great bounding mood stopped once his eyes landed on Virgil. “What are you doing here, monster?” he spat the word and basically growled at Virgil.

“Morning to you too, Princey,” he replied back with a faux cheery tone. The irritated stare grew on the prince’s face as he heard the nickname.

“It’s Roman, you twat!” Roman spat back, turning on his heel in a dramatic flair and marching to the table to ‘Probably complain about me,’ Virgil thought with hidden distaste. ‘The day has officially started.’

Breakfast had been the usual. The occasional bickering between Roman and Logan, Patton stepping in to stop an actual fight from happening but enjoying the small show while Virgil stayed out of the way. Essentially, he tried to make himself invisible and, of course, it worked. The others hardly acknowledged his presence. Only doing so when they needed something from him, and even then, it was normally Patton who asked.

“Hey Anx, can you pass the salt?” Like now. Virgil looked up from his hardly eaten plate of bacon and eggs, a small shocked expression encompassing his face before he forced an emotionless one.

“Whatever,” he reached over and handed the condiment to Patton who smiled somewhat genuinely at Virgil before he went to ignoring him again. “So Logan, what are the plans for today?”

Logan adjusted his glasses before answering. “We need to finish editing the Sanders Sides video so we can have it up by later today or early tomorrow and are hanging out with a couple of friends tonight at our local bar.”

Patton brighten visibly at the mention of seeing Thomas’ friends today. “It feels like ages since I’ve seen them!” He squealed, barely containing his excitement.

“Gee, I wonder why we haven’t,” Roman’s sarcastic voice hit like daggers into Virgil’s chest. It was obvious what the fanciful side was implying and it hurt. ‘But I can’t show it.’ Virgil kept his facade from cracking. But inside, he felt his heart rate accelerate along with his thoughts.

“Oh come on Ro, Anxiety isn’t that bad,” Patton tried to lighten up his now tarnished mood. Roman just scoffed at Patton’s rebuttal.

“May I remind you that just last week we were supposed to hang out with two friends we hadn’t seen in ages but someone,” Roman’s finger flew to Virgil’s direction, “made us too anxious so we had to opt out!” His breathing was heavy and his body was shaking.

‘From anger, no doubt,’ Virgil commented. He took a deep breath and shoved himself away from the table. He forced a smirk on his face, pretending to enjoy the pain and anger he had caused. “Thank you for the lovely dinner everybody.” He hummed, “especially you Princey.” A flare rose in Roman’s eyes causing Virgil to let out a cruel laugh before he sauntered away to his room.

Only when the door was firmly shut did Virgil let his facade causing his whole body to relax. He felt rather spent and knew he wouldn’t be needed for the for the video editing. “At least not right now,” he noted as he thought about pass editing session going longer than anticipated or an unexpected error popping but decided not to dwell on it.

“Right now is nap time,” he muttered, getting into a comfortable position on his bed. He allowed himself to relax as he caught up on sleep he had missed last night. A small smile scrapped his lips before he was out like a light.

It wasn’t until Thomas had began to summon Virgil did he wake. He groaned as he felt the tug to the front of Thomas’ mind. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and attempted to rub the sleep out of his eyes. Virgil yawned lazily and looked down at his hands, all the peacefulness from sleep was pulled out of him.

“Fuck!” he shouted loudly as he saw his hands dirty. “I slept in my makeup!” He ran to the mirror and assessed the damaged. Everything was either sumbudged or already whipped off and as the pull to the front grew stronger, he had no time to properly fix it.

In desperation, he quickly grabbed his makeup wipes and cleaned his face from the warm facade he created. “Maybe the won’t notice if I put only apply my dark eye shadow bag things,” he thought out loud and quickly began to act on it.

Virgi’s hand worked frantically as he was close to being forced to the front. “And...there,” he put the last of the black eyeshadow under his eyes. He was quickly pulled to where the others currently were. ‘Saved by the bell,’ he slipped the eyeshadow brush causally into his pocket as he looked at the other’s backs. The black of Logan’s polo shirt. The gray from Patton’s cardigan. The red from Roman’s stash. The backs of the people who hated him.

“About time you showed up!” Roman’s accusatory voice echoed throughout the room, “We’ve been calling you for the last five minutes!” Virgil felt his body instantly tenseed.

‘If I wasn’t anxious before, I sure as hell am now,’ Virgil joked weakly with himself as he felt the his panic grow. “What’s going on?”

“Look for yourself,” Logan motioned towards the screen, “We need you to stop.”

Virgil raised a brow as he looked to the setting that Thomas was put into. It wasn’t anything new, it was his local bar. Thomas had been to it a million times but something was different. “It’s crowded.” Just by acknowledging that fact he felt his body become more tense and panicked.

“Precisely.” Logan would've been proud of Virgil’s oversvation if he didn’t have such a distaste for the anxious side. “Which is why you need to stop making him anxious.”

Virgil had to refrain himself from glaring at the logical side. ‘But remember the facade.’ He growled to himself as he replied to Logan, starting at him directly in the eyes. “Hmm...no, I like to watch him suffer.” Logan kept his face emotionless but his eyes expressed annoyance.

“Very well,” Logan sighed, “everyone else, let’s get to work.” Roman and Patton both nodded as they began to work together to keep Thomas sociable. Virgil hung out towards the back, watching everything unfold. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. ‘It’s not like I want Thomas to feel anxious in social situations, but I can’t help it.’ He bit his lip as he tried his best to keep his body still.

As the night went on, Virgil’s panic worsened as the bar seemed to get more crowded and louder. He tried to keep his cool but this was too much for his mind to process. “Keep it together Virgil,” he muttered quietly to himself as he watched the other Sides work together perfectly. “You can’t have an attack in front of them. Think about Thomas. The damage it’ll cause. You can’t do that to him. Not again.” His short pep talk did anything but help as he felt himself grow more tense, his breathing restricted.

“Shit,” he growled, taking a deep breath so his voice doesn’t sound strained, “Guys, you need to leave. Right now.”

Patton looked to Virgil with concern and confusion while Logan simply raised a brow at Virgil’s demand, “Pardon?”

“You heard me, get back to the commons room,” Virgil growled back, trying to keep his intimidating act on but it was beginning to falter with his growing panic.

Roman scoffed at Virgil’s demand, “What? You think we’re going to leave you with him so you can mess another thing up? I don’t think so.” He turned back to the screen and continued to do his work. Patton and Logan followed suit.

‘Shit, shit, fuck, damn it, no,’ Virgil thought quickly as he felt the panic grow quickly throughout him. ‘They need to leave, they need to leave, they need to leave,’ was all he could think as his body dissolved into panic. “At least get us to the bathroom. Now!” He didn’t even try to hide the anxiety and panic in his voice. The others looked at each other with confusion at the state of Virgil but didn’t think twice once they saw the impact it was having on Thomas.

With a polite excuse me, Logan and Roman quickly take Thomas inside one of the stalls in the men’s restroom while Patton quickly walked over to Virgil. Despite being afraid of the anxious side, Patton couldn’t help but feel concern for the side.

‘They can’t see this, they can’t see this, they can’t see this,’ he thought over and over again as his body slowly curled up, every muscle in his body tensing. His breath became short as his chest began to squeeze shut. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” was all he could whisper as his fear finally took over. It left Virgil in a panicked mess, only able to whisper those words and shake on the floor. “I’m so sorry.”

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t do anything but let his anxiety overtake him. All he could focus on was panic, ‘Panic, panic. Stop panicking. Stop panicking! They know, they know they know and they’re going to hate me more. Oh god, oh god, oh-’ his thoughts were interrupted when he felt a cold hand touch his back causing him to physically flinch away. Either from the cold or the human contact, he didn’t know.

“Oh Anx,” Patton’s soft voice muted some of the thoughts, “it’s going to be okay.” It was Patton. ‘It was Patton?’ Virgil thought in confusion. ‘Is he trying to comfort me?’ His confusion must’ve showed because he heard a sad, weak chuckle escape from Patton’s lips.

“I’m so sorry kiddo,” Patton sniffled as he pulled Virgil’s head into his lap, “I’m so sorry I feared you.” Virgil was unsure of how to react, his mind sort of stunned but his body still very much panicking. Patton petted Virgil’s hair as an attempt to soothe some of his panic. Virgil took a deep breathe but it was quickly pushed out by his panicking lungs. He clung to Patton desperately as he tried to calm himself down but his mind kept on getting distracted by fleeting thoughts. ‘Stop panicking, stop panicking, stop panicking.’

“Virgil,” Logan’s voice rang through. He felt his body tense, getting ready for another one of Logan’s lectures. He could already hear the beginning of the lecture. ‘Virgil you’re supposed to be in the background and not do anything because you’re useless to Thomas-’ “I want you to breathe with me.” Virgil’s running thoughts stopped for a moment. ‘I wasn’t expecting that.’

“Do you think you can manage that?” Logan’s voice was calm and patient, something he very rarely heard from the logical side. Virgil managed to give a small nod. “Good, now follow my breathing okay?”

“Okay,” Virgil said in a quiet, weak tone. Logan led Virgil through a breathing exercise he had read once on an article about helping someone through an anxiety attack. He thought he’d be using it with Thomas when Virgil tournmented him through another attack but for once, he thought wrong.

“Breathe in four,” Logan instructed, counting as they went. “Hold for seven. Out for eight.”

“You’re doing great kiddo, keep it up,” Patton encouraged as Virgil began to slowly calm himself down. Once his breathing was evened out, he began on working to untense his body. It was a slow process but wasn’t a horrible one as Logan and Patton had helped him all the way through. Towards the end, despite being exhausted, Virgil sat himself up and smiled at the other two sides. Patton offered a soft smile back while Logan nodded his head, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. The only one who wasn’t offering support was Roman. His back was turned to the other sides.

Virgil slowly pushed himself up from the ground, Logan and Patton urging him to say down but he brushed them off. “I’m okay, I swear. This isn’t the first one I’ve been through.” He smiled slightly to reassure the two before walking over to Roman slowly. He approached the prince with caution, unsure of the state the dramatic side was in.

“Hey Roman,” Virgil gently put a hand on the small of Roman’s back. He was tense, ready for any anger that was going to be released at him. Instead, Roman turned around and enveloped Virgil into the biggest hug the anxious side had ever received and remained like that for a long while. He melted into the foreign touch, not paying any attention to the the racing thoughts that were trying to drown out the sense of peace that had washed over him.

Patton decided that it was group hug time and pulled the other two into a tight embrace. The added warmth brought a smile to Virgil’s face as he felt contentment enter into his bones. Thinking that ‘maybe everything will be alright.’

Logan was the last to join due to his hesitation when it came to touch. But considering the circumstances all of them were in, he decided that a little touch wouldn’t hurt anybody. Even though Logan’s hug was stiff as they could get, Virgil appreciated the sentiment. He met with Logan’s eyes and saw no anger, no annoyance, no inconvenience, just understanding and acceptance. Virgil was shocked to say the least, ‘that’s not something I thought I would ever see on his face.’ But it wasn’t thought it in a cynical manner. It was thought with hope and compassion, two emotions that scared him but he gladly embraced them at the moment.

‘I’m breaking all the rules today,’ Virgil let out a small chuckle. He went back to hiding his face in Roman’s shoulder, allowing himself to be somewhat vulnerable with the other sides. Allowing himself to believe that Patton, Logan, and Roman had all started to begin to accept him. ‘I could get use to this.’

And Virgil did. They all began to figure out how to work together, slowly becoming more of a team as the days went on. Sure, there were some days with frustration when Logan couldn’t understand why a simple task such as sending an email could make Virgil feel overwhelmed or when Patton would touch Virgil too much and cause him to become overstimulated or Virgil shooting daggers into Roman’s back when he was being so loud that it triggered his anxiety but he knew that they were all trying their best to help him out while also helping Thomas.

Sometimes Virgl doubted their acceptance of him, the thoughts of the sides faking it to tournament Virgil plagued his mind but he had to stop himself. As Logan would put it, ‘these thoughts are illogical. Look at all they’ve done for you.’ and he did. He combed through the many memories of the sides helping him through various situations but the biggest reminder was the gifts he was given from the other three. It showed that they cared about him deeply.

He let out a small sigh, a smile gracing on his lips for a few seconds while his racing thoughts slowed to a stop. He thought of Logan, Roman, and Patton, all of them giving him a genuine smile. ‘They do accept me,’ was the last conscious thought Virgil would form before he fell into a peaceful slumber.

A/N: Thank you for reading it all the way up until the end. It’s a monstrously long fic, I know but I hoped you enjoyed it! Thanks again for reading it. :3

#virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #fanfiction #oliver writes

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okimargarvez · 6 years

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S. VALENTINE IN RED (BLOOD)

Original title: San Valentino in rosso (sangue)

Prompt: crime case, anonymous courtesy, one night deleted.

Warning: none.

Genre: romantic, angst, friendship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, BAU team, Roxy.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot.

Legend: 💑💏😘😈🔦🐶

Song mentioned: none.

A serial killer who kills only once a year: in the period preceding and following Valentine’s Day. His victims are apparently random, they don’t have in common neither gender nor ethnicity, or age, or social class. But the BAU team is forced to speed up the investigation, when their computer technician is in danger of becoming next victim.

MY OTHER GARVEZ STORIES

S. VALENTINE IN RED (BLOOD) 02/14/16

-And those flowers? - the dark man scrutinizes the colorful bunch of carefully placed on the desk of computer technician. The latter glares at him, asking him telepathically probably the reason for his sudden entrance. He had never entered in before. In nearly six months. The thing is quite strange.

-What is it, Alvez, do you think I bought them myself?- her tone is ironic with different bad shades, as always when she talking with him, apart from rarely if the subject of their conversation is Roxy. Yet that draws him far more than if she behaves like with all the others, even with Stephen, the very latest member who was joined their team, with whom she has been since the beginning sweet, cute and loving. Exactly the opposite to him: after all he has committed a serious infringement: he had taken the place of Agent Morgan.

-No.- he answers only. As hard as her is a weird, eccentric person, especially in the way she dresses up her hideout and herself, from what he can see (he doesn’t lose the opportunity to carefully scrutinize every detail of the room, all the pictures - damn, how many photos of her with Derek, them hugging… - cuddly puppets, colored pens), he can’t imagine her buying flowers for herself. She maintains a fixed her gaze in that of man. Always with the same defiance in her eyes, but what’s really at stake? He has some ideas, one, to be sure, but not the courage to express it. But something shines through her manner however: the lips that fold into mischievous way, arched eyebrows, smarting eyes and brighter than usual.

-So, what do you want? - how strong is the urge to take off that grimace of her mouth, once and for all? Enough to fall? Or surrender?

-Anything. But Emily told me that we must work together.- he announced casually, as if he didn’t care the task given by their leader. He really isn’t able to mask the entire satisfaction that he feels, telling her that she’ll forced to endure his presence for many more hours than what she thinks; that she had to got to get over it, seek to cooperate with him. Alone. The woman snorts, whirling around, turning to one of the numerous screens scattered around her bunker and sitting at her desk. Her blond hair flutter wrapping her face. He doesn’t hold a slight chuckle and after a moment’s pause, he approaches her slowly, bending and staying a few centimeters from her neck. For a moment in his mind pass very different images, from those of the case that they should studied.

-I am perfectly able to do my part alone.- she says, her voice firm and precise, not even turning and trying to pretend she doesn’t care the concrete fact that the damn breath of him, warm and… (no!) is brushing her bare and vulnerable skin. She doesn’t know if the man has noticed it, but soon his face is almost up to her shoulder and she can’t help but experience a feeling of deja-vu quite particular, because the male subject isn’t the same of her memories. And this is precisely the problem. She feels the weight of his eyes and embarrassment that tries to make red her cheeks. But she’ll never give this satisfaction to him. But he doesn’t stop to staring her and if she thought good for a moment about it, she would come to the right conclusion. Three coincidences are a proof. And she would have far more to explore.

-I’m sorry, Emily said that we can’t stay alone and you have to get over it, she had entrusted you to me.- he makes a significant pause. She hates when he does that. And then, the choice of terms. Entrusted, as if I were a… No, what Alvez intends is quite different, as if she really need a protection… -You have to learn to be more professional.- isn’t the first time that he gives her a scolding this kind. Once he dared to say that she should be nicer (but in his head, he thought cute) with him. I, the Queen of nice! And he had the gall to respond, Maybe like … the Queen of ice. And perhaps the heart of the matter was that the beautiful dark man wanted to be able to make melted her… in more ways than one.

-Okay, Newbie.- she strongly highlights her favorite nickname for him. -There are papers.- she shows him a huge pile that nearly submerge whole table. -We must digitize each document.- she makes even a break, allowing herself to turn her head toward his. Now they are at the same height. She approaches a bit. A little too much. she seems to see his pupils dilate, but… -Enjoy yourselves.- and she returns to take care of her computer.

Luke passes the next three minutes mentally relive the last scene. What the hell she had wanted to do? Only provoke him, or was there more? Maybe she… knew? And what it was there to know? Here was the real question. So, it’s better if he focuses his resources on those files. And so, he begins with finding a chair, bringing it closer to that of her (but not too much, keep a safe distance) and dictate her those information’s, which turn quickly in brilliantly data from the action of darting and quick fingers of the bespectacled blonde. She is so fast also in other situations? he can’t help but wonder, then he thanks everyone who has made sure that the thoughts remain as such, stored in personal storage and inaudible from other external.

-What’s the matter with you, Alvez? You saw a ghost?- he realizes that he was holding clutching a paper from a long time. She is peering him too carefully. He must recover immediately.

-I was… I was just thinking that today is Valentine’s day.- he shoots the first bullshit that crosses his mind. She doesn’t seem very convinced, but she flies over.

-Uh uh.- she emits verses in television sitcom style -Don’t tell me that Roxy has a rival.- is her convoluted way in order to extract information without him clearly understand that she is interested to know if he is engaged, without her knowing. And maybe something more, but we overlook. This is what the dark man hoped, but not betting on it too many chips. He shakes his head. He is unable to say more, because it would sound something like Actually yes, she is here in front of me. What the hell is this thought? Concentrate on this damn case! But there’s nothing to do. Isn’t destiny that today is a fruitful day.

-It’s eight o'clock at night…- Garcia looks up to a rose clock kitten-shaped, with its tail beating the passing of every second. But he observes the way in which some tufts of her hair fall on the neck, until the neckline. But he can divert his attention before the computer technician being aware of it.

-Well, you can go home, I still have to settle a thing.- after a moment, she understands that he has no intention to carry out her order. -I don’t need a damn bodyguard!- she says, placing angrily already digitized documents in a special folder. Luke asks himself the real reason behind this sudden anger that seems to have possessed her. Even he seems to see a reflection in her dark eyes and some crystals on her eyelashes, as if she had been crying…

-It is useless to try to fool me, Garcia. We can’t be alone until the unsub shall have been catch.- and this thing doesn’t dislike him at all. But he lets her guess this only minimally. Almost there was a game going on, between them, an endless game, destined to remain without a winner. Not at least until neither of them will make a really bold move first. Not until neither of them won’t be willing to reveal his cards.

-But imagine if, with lean JJ blonde with blue eyes, Emily brunette and slender, Tara and her shades of amber… the crazy on duty would kidnaps me! - and how many things can be in a word produced by a single syllable, two only letters? A whole world, immense suffering, an unknown past (but not too). Garcia isn’t unable to restrain herself. She wouldn’t certainly have wanted to make it clear to the agent with whom she has less relation in entire team, that she not considered herself aesthetically worthy of being the victim of a serial killer.

-Except for the fact that they will not stand alone- ugly truth, this (JJ has Will and her sons, Tara her father and her brother, Emily has Mark and Sergio) -what would you mean?- but looking at those so damned dark eyes, in those depths in which she wants so desperately to get lost and not think about the consequences (at least for one fucking time), she realizes that he knows, what, how serious is, no, she doesn’t want to think about it. But he understood everything, or better he understood too much, and the blonde is not able to deal with the repercussions of this.

-What you think- she crosses her arms, defensive -and you not have the courage to say.- now his black eyebrows are raised surprised and concerned. But it’s just her head. It’s not real. -What I’m not beautiful enough to receive flowers from a stranger, nor chocolates… therefore why with all the beautiful women available in the BAU, someone should kidnap me?- and this time there is no trace of irony in her tone, or angry, if not towards herself. They dominate the sadness, sorrow towards what she feels like an absolute truth and impossible to change. -In the movie, those like me are killed only if they are unable to mind their own business.- but she reads too much understanding into those spheres open to scrutinize her. Too much to bear. If it was any other day, but it’s that day. She goes back in many years, when her hair, tied in pigtails, came up to the knees of Luke. When she was really happy, and she hadn’t to strain every day to believe it. She is a positive person. But there is difference between hoping and believe it seriously. One difference platonic, that only those who know the Iperuranio may really understand. Damned philosopher’s exam…

When tears begin to fall, she leaves free the documents, preventing them from stain and get wet with a part of her DNA. While the salty drops continue their path down her face up to clothes, she curses herself for being so weak, so foolish as to start crying right in front of him. She would have so much need of the man who replaced him. He doesn’t tease her. He would hug her, and everything seems better. Bearable. Better than nothing. But unfortunately, when she lifts her eyes in front of her there is always the ex-ranger, tall, dark and bland-some, and terribly sexy, even when he pretending to be concerned about her. If only he hadn’t occupied just that place. If only he hadn’t joined the BAU. If only she hadn’t been so… not his kind of woman. What the hell are these thoughts? She doesn’t like him, dammit, Luke Alvez. She can’t stand him. Every time she tries to take the elevator and believes she can enjoy a minute to herself, he appears behind her and he starts doing questions about her Canadian boyfriend. And then, wretched Emily, although I love you the same, she must stand him indefinitely. Why she had to put him with her? They could all camp out in their offices. But others have their lives outside of here: moms that need help, husbands and sons, boyfriends, ex-wives not too ex… You’re damn alone. And he is no less. Although he has at least a very cute dog waiting for him every night. And heck, how difficult it is to strive to appear unpleasant when there Roxy around.

From the corner of eye, despite hers are grew cloudy, worse than if there was fog on the highway, she captures a movement. The man is always there that stares at her, but now he is really extremely too close. An alarm continues to reverberate in her head.

-Penelope…- finally it’s what comes out of his lips, so stretched out toward hers, colored. She decides to completely ignore the tone of gentleness and understanding in his voice and focus on whatever he may have done wrong.

-Don’t call me Penelope. You’re not…- but this time Luke hasn’t going to wait, to grant her time.

-I’m not..?- and the distance is still reducing. She can’t argue anything. -Derek Morgan?- still no response or sign of life. -It’s his what you meant, or not?- any signs of tenderness disappear from his expression. In its place predominates again that look of defiance that she’ll never caught. -Exactly, I’m not. I’m your partner in this case, and because you don’t…- a moment before he had earned some points and less than a thousandth of a second later, he has already ruined it.

-I don’t have…?- the tears have dried on her eyelashes. The tap is finally closed. Her cheeks are red with anger that has again conquered her heart. -I haven’t anyone?- but it sounds more like an affirmation than one rhetorical question. -JJ has Will, Emily has Mark, Tara her father and brother, Spencer his mother, Stephen his family, Rossi his ex… and I have no one and that’s why I am forced to spend Valentine’s Day with you.- it was not exactly what she wanted to say. It could easily be misinterpreted. -Why I shouldn’t cry?- she stands up and deletes the last traces wet with a sleeves, giving him shoulders, not having the courage to hear his answer, if never will be there. But a sudden grip on her arm forces her to look back at him and in a second their equally dark eyes chained each other.

-I have never said that you shouldn’t cry…- he says so gently that this time even Penelope isn’t able to argue with some pungent phrase, fired at random (but not too).

-Please, don’t try to seems sweet.- she says after a few minutes that remain silent, simply either of them ever distract the eye from the other. -I’ll come home with you, I give up.- she raises her hands imitating the gesture of surrender. And for the second time in a few hours, in his mind pass very different pictures of how he would spend Valentine’s Day with her, if he could. -But I don’t want fake sentimentality.- she is quick to argue before turning off the computer, put on hers jacket (which can’t quite mask her exuberant forms), grab the bag and walk out of her bat-cave, followed by Luke. He raises his eyes to heaven, asking for divine help to survive the evening.

The elevator ride has never been so long. Those few seconds seem immense. Neither speaks. Luke looks at her only in passing, as to make sure that she is true. She doesn’t notice it, intently staring at her shoes. They come to his car in silence. Before he has the time to open the door, Penelope is already seated. Not because she feels at home, but just to prevent him to do some act that could put her even more embarrassed. Neither has the courage to break the ice. Luke thinks of a million ways to start a conversation, but he discards them one after another. Because in the end, the only thing he would like to ask her, is the reason why just a moment ago, she burst into tears. Not only because she doesn’t consider herself suitable to the kidnapping. He is sure. There’s more to this.

Eventually, however, they stop before in front of a house of modest size. But too big for one single person. And this time the blonde can’t prevent that her coworker opens the door to her. But he stays in the doorway, when she gives him a sharp look before disappearing behind the door of her own home. She didn’t intend to share with him this part of her life. She always tried to keep it separate from work, although ten years ago she was being unable to avoid it. After just five minutes she resurfaces with a small suitcase with wheels. She looks up and immediately Luke’s eyes capture hers. Apparently, she doesn’t seem to have moved since she had left him there. He notices the way she looks at him and he understand what she is thinking.

-It’s all worked out.- she justifies herself with a shrug. The man is going to grab it out of her hands, but she avoids him, fleeing toward the car. Left alone he raises his eyes to heaven (for the umpteenth time and probably certainly not the last) before reaching her. It will be a long night, much longer than he could believe. Because when they get closer to his home, where Roxy is awaiting (unaware of the surprise that awaits her), he can’t help but imagine what he would it was going to happen with her. It’s hard to concentrate on driving, having her so close. And when they ’ll behind those walls…

He opens the door and lets her go first; in doing so their bodies brush slightly, by transmitting tremors each other, although both do ignore it. But he is less able to her to play ignorant, and at that exact moment he would reach out his arms and holds her so that the contact between them endure some more. Her perfume, her skin … enough!

The hand automatically finds the switch. Roxy is in crisis because she doesn’t know whether to greet prior the guest or her master; eventually she opts for “attacking” both simultaneously. And in doing so she forces them to stay closer. After another awkward moment, she unexpectedly speaks first.

-Show me where I’ll sleep, so tomorrow morning we’ll be able to get up early and maybe then this story will be ended.- but he takes his time, indeed. He approaches her of a few centimeters to the passing of every minute. And she didn’t move away, but she not even goes meet him. She stays still, as in shock. The last time a man looked at her that way and who behaved in a similar way, she found herself with a bullet near the heart. But he isn’t like Battle. Even if she knows him too little to be able to judge him. But he is a federal, he doesn’t want to kill her. But… why he keeps getting closer and closer? He wants to make fun of her, is the only solution. Or loneliness is playing some sort of a trick with his mind and rather than spend Valentine’s Day alone, he is willing to pretend to be interested in her. In any case, when now only two air centimeters separates their faces, fortunately Luke stops. But his hands come to life and wrapping around her face, caressing her cheeks with both thumbs.

-What… what…- for a moment she isn’t able to ask the question. -What are you doing?- his gaze seems so sweet, as when he talks about his dog. It’s been too long since a man touched her seriously. She is too vulnerable. But she can’t give up at this point. She still has a dignity. And then… she turns red at the thought of showing naked before his eyes.

-Just something I wanted to do for a long time…- he whispers, not leaving the grip, while on his full lips is painted a smile devoid of any kind of irony. Still he can’t believe this is happening. He hadn’t decided a priori that as soon as they were safe within his walls, he would make his move. However, when there was that brief contact, he realized he couldn’t continue to reject the desire the whole evening. This was the opportunity he had been waiting for a while. When he would have another chance to have Garcia to his house? -I desire you terribly… I’ll not pretend it’s not so…- he immediately captures the expression of surprise which appears on her face. -If I were a unsub, crazy and dangerous, I’d kidnap you without thinking twice.- he whispers with a sexy tone that beats any Fifty (but even Hundred) Shades of Gray, Red, Black… is the most strange and absurd compliment that she have ever receive. She can’t help but chuckle, though nervously. -I’m serious, Penelope.- her name… how it sounds on those lips… it is useless that she still to deny. She wants him, she wants him in a way so tragic and intense, to hate herself. She needs him, without knowing why. And then his fingers slipping toward her mouth, touching her lips, opening her mouth, and finally he starts to lean in his direction, making her feel all their height difference. When their mouths come into contact, everything that happened before this moment seems to fade. She doesn’t want to think about the fact that tomorrow morning, definitely, she’ll be in the throes of remorse and repentance. At least for one evening, she wants to live what will happen and nothing else. While the tongues are intertwined, conducting various dances, in the numerous minimum pause for breath, she feels so beautiful, so desired… After a few minutes his hands going to remove her jacket, without letting her, as she had watch only in the movie and this excites her more than she would like. Each button causes her a gasp. Taking courage even her fingers, colored with rainbow colors, getting under his shirt, unbuttoning it and finally meet the skin under it, run through the muscles in length and breadth. She can’t help but smile when she hears him moan with pleasure. -Penelope…- her jacket falls to the ground. The big hands of the man linger a moment, remaining on the ribs, causing her various chills. She has to give him the green light, so he finally can reach her breasts and losing his mind simultaneously. And when he realizes that he can’t really resist more, that his jeans are really too tight… he leads her into his room (where no other woman has ever set foot), making her walk backwards. He takes off her shirt, her skirt, then he is stopped from her hands and her agitated tone.

-We could… turn off the light?- she doesn’t want him to see her how she truly is, without make-up and accessories, out of her role as BAU’s omniscient genius. Without those things, she doesn’t think she can be attractive. And Luke didn’t take long to figure it out. He stares her intently, still stroking her cheek once.

-You don’t need anything else, apart from your soul, to shine before my eyes.- and after a statement like that, even the fears of Garcia falter, enough that allowed him to complete his work.

And before they become one, he looks long at her, with a mix of desire and tenderness, as if to make her understand that yes, he wants her in that sense, but there’s more behind and when he have will the courage to peer into his soul, he’ll prove it. And in that instant, she believes him.

Lying beneath his muscular body and dripping sweat, she still can’t be convinced that it really happened. Sure, she was out of practice, but he’s been… monstrous. Luke remains in this position for a while, raised his body with the arms to avoid crushing her. It was far more than what he could expected, though never before he had dared to imagine how it could be. Yet, though she seems satisfied, remains a shadow that floating on her face, trying to obscure that moment.

-What you’re thinking, chica?- a lifetime had gone by since the last time he had used that nickname for her. She hadn’t realized how much she missed until she hadn’t heard it again. There was a something personal and possessive, in that nickname in Spanish.

-That it was excellent sex, but in a few hours, my crumpled dress will be the only tangible trace of it.- he didn’t expect she would give him an answer so blunt. He is glad she told him the truth, but at the same time he didn’t like her choice of terms, to define their… Close encounter. But, thinking about it, in fact, she’s right.

-This depends on us…- he replies, without yet being able to expose himself. Penelope looks at him strangely. -If you wanted to…- he strives to take courage -…I could show you the difference between having sex and making love…- at this point the blonde pushes abruptly away him and trying to get dressed. When he tries to stop her, she begins to scream.

-Don’t try to make me believe that suddenly you’re in love with me or other silly stories like in C-movie. It’s Valentine’s Day, we found ourselves forced in this situation, I don’t… for a while, and because of the impetuousness that you have shown, I guess you too. Two frustrations have led to a few moments of satisfaction. Now we don’t have to build on this a Disney tale.- the worst is that she really seems to believe in what she says with bitterness and sadness, gradually lowering the pitch up to a kind of resignation.

-Even if I told you, you would think that is a lie, right?- she nods firmly. -So, let me try to use another kind of “speech”. If you were to have right, you just would have to making “good sex” like you insist on defining it…- and if she decides to surrender, it’s mainly because she wants to get to understand why the hell, he still wants to fool her with this story of “there is more than rubbing under the sheets”.

The next morning, they don’t get up at six, like Penelope had expected, but much later, exhausted from the second and third round. In the end he had reason; making love was something else; yet she still didn’t believe him at all, she couldn’t let go herself and risks, yet she was very close to do it. Already the first cracks in her armor of ice were visible without the aid of a microscope. Luke had understood, especially when he had awakened in the middle of the night and he had found her, resting on his chest, her face innocence of a child. But he wasn’t going to push too hard on the accelerator, he would have given her time, now that he had made a significant first step. The street to convince her that he was really interested in her as a person (not just physically), it was still very difficult and tortuous.

Yet only hours after he finds himself again back to square one.

-Where are you?- random question doesn’t seem to have any immediate effect. -Garcia?- she finally turns to him and seems to sense his presence. But she isn’t going to say anything. How she can? She has now admitted herself to be attracted to him, but what happened last night was just a lucky… case, a convergence of situations, definitely not something that will be repeated in the future. With the idea of being forced to spend the evening together, because there was a serial killer on the loose, the distorted thinking that she could become one of the victims… this must somehow have him excited, driven him to do what he did. But it was only a moment, a way to stress that they were still alive, that everything was still possible. But she couldn’t tell him, because she wouldn’t have been able to mask the fact that for her, their meeting wasn’t just sex. -Hey, it’s almost time to go to work. Criminals don’t wait!- he tries a joke that not obtain any reaction in woman. Now he really starts to worry. But when at last their eyes meet, everything becomes terribly clear. -Yet. Tell me I’m wrong, Penelope.- while he talking his tone increases the intensity. -Tell me that you aren’t again convinced that yesterday I was just… caught with the situation.- but she doesn’t respond, and a slight furrow starts to dig between them.

02/13/17

A year after that groove has become a chasm. They continued to work together, as if nothing had happened; a few months after, they start again to exchange jokes in the presence of others; but unlike previous times, there was much more behind, than some expressions two-way. It was as if each blamed the other for what had happened between them. Because in the meantime, the feelings that were unripe, have developed, settling in their souls. And taking with this resentment and regret.

The killer of roses, as the press had dubbed the unsub, which kills during the period close to Valentine’s Day and for the rest of the year will become off the grid, was still active. On February 15 the previous year Penelope and Luke had been welcomed by the dark looks of their colleagues. The name of another woman that night had been added to an already too long list. But she hadn’t been a total stranger. She was a childhood friend of Emily. The chief of the BAU had decided that there wouldn’t be another. And she was prepared to keep this promise at any cost.

To the point that she pushes JJ to give an interview, where she threw a challenge to the killer. And someone didn’t like it.

Garcia winces when she hears someone reach her behind shoulders. She was re-reading for the umpteenth time the note she had received. Like the others, it was signed cryptically. But today it contained one more particular: he tells her to wait for him the next day in the waiting room that preceded the entrance to the main offices of the heads of various departments of the FBI. She had suspected from the beginning that he was one of them, indeed, she had even hoped that could be Luke… but that wasn’t his style and basically it was better that way. She had to find a way to forget. It had been just a damn night; there had been no promises or exchange of important phrases. So why she hated him so deeply? Why a year had passed, and she couldn’t overcome it?

-Look that, we are just waiting for you…- the man was able to give only a sidelong glance at the narrow cardboard between the long fingers of the technician, remaining a bit too long staring her. But he doesn’t have enough elements to make an educated guess. Although, judging by this perfume… it’s certainly something private and … gallant. And it bothers him, a lot. Especially because before entering into Penelope’s bunker, he lingered a few minutes behind the door, hearing her talk to herself. And in this case, he understood every syllable uttered by her full lips. She believes that the type of the cards, damn if I catch you, you’re dead, is also in charge of the flowers she received during all this week… chocolates… books… everything that I gave her, accompanying each gift with a phrase (engraved on each one and inseparable from it) that I hoped would show her who was the “handler”, the “sender.” But I just made sure that the type of the cards earned more points. And I can’t even say anything, because that is going to make me look like an idiot.

-Luke? Now you’re the one lost on moon.- she chuckles slightly. She adores make fun of him and she doesn’t do anything to hide it. When he lifts his head, as always, their eyes chain up, and in those brief moments they confess million secrets, and, as Bukowski said, they make love with eyes. It’s weird how easy it’s to forget that he knows everything, that he has seen her naked in every possible way implied from the term. It’s absurd how easy it’s to continue this farce rather than admit they were wrong.

-Someone has perhaps a secret admirer?- he dares to ask, carefully watching how she arranged the different flowers (why you not go to do a damn search on the internet on their precise meaning?) and as one of the books he gave her, is open in the middle on the table. The blonde raises her eyes, annoyed (because he has no right to ask her about her private life) and yet flattered by his jealousy (because this could mean that perhaps he still feels a little something for her).

-If it was, it’s not your business.- he comes dangerously close, as he had hardly done in recent months. Because kissing her wouldn’t lead to any result, except to meet again in the horizontal position. And once it wasn’t enough, in fact, it has done more harm than good. -I know you think I can’t be worthy of receiving attention from a man, but you’re not always right.- she says it not because she believes seriously (the past year is at least served to find more self-confidence and begin to truly love herself, with or without glitter), but because she wants to force him to contradict her. With the corner of eye, she sees his hands tight a fist, the veins of his muscular arms stand out along with the muscles tense. He bends a little toward her, and, as it happens during accidents, she doesn’t seem to be able to move around and avoid catastrophe.

-I never said you didn’t deserve male attentions, but who or what tells you it’s a boy? Do you know him? You did identified him in some way?- he tries to try to make her understand that, notes aside, the man who has rekindled her smile these days, through various surprises that would show how much he had learned to know her seriously, was none other than the one she had in front of her. But Garcia doesn’t notice the love that he gives her. She just thinks that he demonstrates a kind of very childish jealousy, as if he doesn’t really want her, but at the same time he wishes that no one else feels something for her. She finally able to reactivate circulation of her blood and takes a step, leaving the door ajar. But Luke stops her before she can get out of it completely, grabbing her arm.

-Leave me! Did not you say the team was only waiting for me to expose the case? And then, let’s go. The others will be wondering if we weren’t sucked into a black hole.- but he isn’t going to do the right thing, or at least the most rational, reaching their colleagues and taking care of their work, another day pretending it’s nothing. He lets her go, but he turns towards the flowers, books and anything else that was donated by the “mysterious admirer.” She observes him in shock, unable to understand what the hell he’s doing.

-You might not be able to understand it?- he makes them all fall down in front of her. His dark eyes seem like coated with a thin veil. Might be tears, but it looks little likely. -May. You had tell JJ you liked science fiction novels of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, even more than the well known masterpieces of Sherlock Holmes.- shock increases more and more in Garcia, as she listening to him talk, associating something she said, maybe in passing, during the last year, each of the objects that she has received this week next to Valentine’s Day. -When you were a kid your favorite color was purple and you dreamed of having a horse.- also the puppet go to reach the pile at the foot of the blonde. When he silent, she remains for a moment to stare him, unable to pronounce the truth in a loud voice: it was him. Luke Alvez knew her better than herself. But… why?

-But… but… those notes… those words… why you didn’t write something that would make me realize that you were behind this?- the Latin sighs, frustrated.

-I never sent you any note.- a shiver runs through the body of the computer technician. Not for pleasure, but of sheer terror.

-So… who did write this?- just then the door opens and Rossi appears, the worried look that turns quickly in surprised and confused to see them like that, all those objects and flowers on the floor.

-Luke, Penelope, we were about to send out the search team…- no one laughs at his joke. -What the hell happened here inside?- it doesn’t take a profiler to note that both are blushing and launch murderous glances at each other. -Where’d this come from?- before he can make time to talk, the man is preceded by Garcia.

-I have a secret admirer. I was arranging this mess, when Luke came to warn me that the meeting was about to begin, and… we clashed. He was giving me a hand to collect everything.- the explanation given is credible enough, but Dave feels that doesn’t properly correspond to the truth. Before entering he felt them shouting each other and neither of them was bent or it was going to resetting… But he decides to overlook. They have already lost too much time. The blonde throws a sharp look at Luke, who wonders why she wanted to cover him, and if he has to positively interpret this attitude or rather the exact opposite. At the end he gives up and follows the other two down the hall to the meeting room. He tries to ignore it, but it’s impossible not to notice the mischievous look of JJ, the confusion of Reid, doubts painted on the faces of the rest of the agents.

Emily rolls her eyes and finally begins to expose the case that everyone knows very well -The last victim was Sasha Ivanova . And I emphasize “last.” As I said a year ago, there haven’t to be others. We have to catch the unsub. We have had more than ten years to take him, he was being free to do what he wanted. It’s time somebody ruins his plans.- anger in her eyes is evident and it’s also transmitted in the way she holding the remote control. -But I have not called you here to reiterate the obvious. There is news.- Luke subconsciously search for Penelope’s eyes and her hand (but not implement his own thoughts). -Chicago police found some interesting details…. Each of the victims under their jurisdiction had received “gifts” from a secret admirer, in the week before the murder.- after the last sentence also Rossi stares Garcia, who looks toward her shoes, hoping to disappear.

-But especially, they found some notes. The hand that had written them is the same in all cases.- now Agent Alvez feels really fear, fear for this woman, so damn stubborn that she would be willing to get kidnapped in order not to let people know that he is the author of the gifts she has received… but not the notes. And she is willing to risk, in order to prove that she has reason: she isn’t a type that someone might abducting, consequently she runs no risk.

-Garcia, can we talk for a moment face-to-face?- the woman takes a second too long to get up. Luke would follow them, but he doesn’t know what excuse to adopt. -All those gifts that I saw in your room… there were some notes to accompany them?- she doesn’t know what to say. Betraying Luke? Or rather betray herself, because what David will think, when he’ll know that she lied about something like that?

Left in the meeting room, Luke can’t concentrate on what his colleagues are saying. Conversations come to his brain as muted, as if he had cotton in his ears or was in a soap bubble. He can’t think of anything other than what they are saying? And the answer comes soon enough. The oldest agent returns alone. Things get worse than he expected.

-What’s going on, Dave?- Emily finally gives voice to what everyone is wondering.

-Penelope received very similar gifts to those you have just described a moment ago.- everyone except Luke, open their astonished eyes. -And even the famous notes. No need for a graphologist for sentencing that were written by the same person.- JJ launches a desperate look toward Reid.

-What? Why she doesn’t told us about it? And where is she?- the young genius puts his arm around the blonde, now in tears. Tara stays more composed, but she is equally worried.

-She is in my office. Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and we don’t know when the unsub will hit. Just finished here, I’ll accompany her in the secret areas of the FBI for Witness Protection.- the ex-ranger immediately guess the future: he not see her again for who knows how long, if not forever. It’s not an acceptable perspective. But even the idea that she can seriously become the next victim of the killer of roses. If only she would leave herself to protect by me! He has before him an important choice: are more important his own selfish needs or the safety of the computer technician?

-We can’t even greet her?- no one could answer negatively the desperate request of the blonde of the FBI. The oldest in the room nods his head and everybody make their way to his office. Luke last, lost in his thought. I can’t let her go. I can’t lose her. Rossi knocks with two shots, then he pauses, and he knocks other three times. The door opens, and Penelope appears that tries to hold back tears, with poor results. The impulse to rush to comfort her is strong, more than any other he has had at this year’s “separation” and abstinence, to kiss her or hold her so their bodies again converging. But yet he resists, with the last of patience grains he’s got. In the room they are eight of them, but, as one of the classic cliché, it’s just them in there. Their eyes are fixed, inseparable, they are seemingly oblivious to what is happening around; they carry on one conversation parallel to the verbal one. She is pleading him not to do what he thinks, and he, in turn, he’s apologizing because he can’t perform what she asks.

-Penelope… Why didn’t you tell us anything?- the women of the team surround their friend, partially interrupting the visual contact between the two. It’s the leader who speaks, while JJ strives not to cry in turn. She thinks of the day that saved her life, shooting point-blank at her attempted assassin. You do whatever it takes to protect your family.

-I… I didn’t think it had to do with the case. I was seeing one of the security officers of the first-floor and… I thought he was just very shy. - Luke feels a sharp pain in his chest at this revelation. But she is saying the truth, or it’s just a way to escape from him?

-No, not again. This time I’ll not allow to happen what happened with Battle.- the brunette says resolutely. Now Tara, Stephen, not to mention the agent Alvez, are even more confused. Meanwhile, the self-control of the latter is going more and more going to hell. -A policeman with murderess hero syndrome…- Prentiss begins to explain, but she is blocked by their own victim-subject of the story.

-I know that you will do everything to stop it.- she glances her very clear. Don’t speak of this matter. She doesn’t want him to know. She doesn’t want he knows this part of her life, this is connecting directly to a person and a series of misunderstandings that led where she is now. It doesn’t matter that for this man (damned the day when Hotch asked him to work with the BAU!) she now feels a much stronger feeling of confusion than a year earlier.

-I hate having to be a spoilsport, but… we have to go.- Rossi changes the subject. Luke observes Penelope, the woman for whom he feels more than he wanted (because this has greatly complicated his life) taking her own bag. He decided that this time he’ll not let her go away, like that day nearly a year ago.

-Wait! I have something to say.- everyone turns toward him. Garcia silently shouts him to stop. We can go on like this. We can pretend that nothing happened. Only you and me, know that. -I’m sorry. I gave her those things. Not the unsub. Except for the notes.- he adds bitterly. He explicitly turns to her and everyone understand the implications at stake. JJ wonders how it’s possible that she not noticed what had happened between her best friend, godmother of her children, and the Newbie. Sure, there were some incidents that had given her to think about, like when he played with the remote control in the meeting room and he had taken time considerable to pass it at her. Not to mention the countless times she had caught him staring at her. Yet she didn’t connect the dots. What stupid! -I’m sorry, Penelope. I know you didn’t want others to know, but I can’t allow you to finish in the witness protection program and disappear forever… just because I’m unable to deal with the complexity of the feelings that you arouses in me.- behold, he had said this. Now there’s no going back. Now everybody knows, including her. She stares him even more astonished than before, if possible.

-This doesn’t change anything, however.- the pure wisdom of Rossi intrudes, he’s not just able to realize that his kitten has a true lover, willing to do anything for her, even humiliate publicly himself or expose himself to rejection. -The writing matches perfectly, meaning that Garcia is still among the potential victims of the killer of roses.- the dark man nods, but he still seems to have something to say. Also, because all the others are still paralyzed by the news.

-I’m aware that she is still in danger, but… I would like to be able to contribute to her security, if you allow me… I participated in several operations of the witness protection program. I know how it works. And if the killer is clever enough, no protection is enough. I also feel that Garcia was chosen for a reason. Her belonging to the team.- finally someone seems to be able to recover.

-I understand what you want to mean. With this press conference, Prentiss has virtually challenged the unsub. Or in any case, it’s what seemed to him.- Reid asserts, while his face assumes the classic thinker’s poses.

-But then why he hasn’t hooked me up?- the chief asks.

-Because Garcia was … the woman most low-risk.- saying this, he knows he hurts her. But it’s better an ugly truth than a pretty lie, but with little lasting and more harmful effects in the long run. -You, Emily, live with your boyfriend… JJ has a whole family thinking about her, while Tara has returned to live with her father and brother… Penelope is simply the only woman in BAU… lonely.- and adding this, he transmits the idea that it’s her fault. It was mainly her stubbornness and her belief that he can’t absolutely like her, what had truncated any possibility of a serious development between them, a year earlier. And he was too confused at the time of their past, to prevent her from doing that bullshit.

-I’m fear you’re right, Luke.- the Italian admits. -And then, what is your proposal?- if he could say exactly what he thinks! Go to my house, make her a special dinner, talk, talk for hours, explain and ask for explanations. Try to find a way to make her understand how difficult it was this long year, because her coldness has hurt me, how I wanted to hold her, even by force, and only tell her I’m sorry, I’m very confused, but not enough to let you go away. How I wanted to try the feeling of having her lips fused with my own, and the courage to ask her if she, too, at least once, maybe before going to sleep, she felt that loneliness hug her, hold her in a vise that is neither liberating nor consoling. And then try to convince her that I’m able to protect her, I can do it, I’ll always be here, whenever she needs it. That I know her more than she would like, but certainly not as much as I would like. That it wasn’t just sex, even that night. And finally, that I haven’t been here for many years of her life (certainly not my fault); but I’m here now.

-I think that if the unsub discovered that she is no longer alone- not all notice the choice of words, the use of present (although hypothetical) which indicates that what follows this verb corresponds to a fact existing and not an uncertain possibility (what really is, in this case) -he’ll change the target. And though this would mean that another woman would run the risk of being killed… I feel I can be partly selfish, this time.- and the sense of his theory is more readily apparent to all.

-You would pretend to be her boyfriend until we take him?- a break. -We may need days as years. This is no light commitment. Or maybe you want to make a back and forth around the time of Valentine’s Day, doing the exact opposite of many males that not want to buy a gift for their lovers and fulfill the duty imposed on them by the capitalist society we live in?- it seems that talking was Reid instead is Emily the one make fun of him affectionately. For Luke the idea of having to protect her for years has certainly not displayed as a burden. Everything is relative, depending on the perspective from which you look at things. As an old man who breaks a mirror: he’ll be happy to have yet seven years (of trouble).

-According to me, you hope, rather, that continue to pretend, Garcia forget what the truth is and fall into your arms!- JJ also helps to lighten the atmosphere. The idea that another woman could be killed tonight and that they will have to investigate her death, now doesn’t even brush them. Even profilers have the right to a little serenity.

02/15/18

He finds her exactly where he thought: standing in front of the monsters’ wall, that is, every unsub that they had captured over the years, since the unit had opened its doors, long before they worked on it, both she and him, or that they met. He vividly remembered the moment Emily had hung that picture, while she was crying, a prayer to her disappearance friend, she, that didn’t believe or didn’t want to believe in any kind of God. Even the woman at this moment in front of him, she had a giant tight in the throat, that day and although she wasn’t able to consume mourning, allowed him to console her, to lay his hands on her shoulders, to embrace her. And she let him shout at her, not wanting to go along her, this time, while repeating like a mantra, before the image of yet another tragic murdered woman, surrounded by rose buds - It should have been me, there. It should have been me. It was no less blurred in his memory the moment when he had called to tell her -It’s over.- and how they had made love, directly to her office, as soon as he got off the jet, exhausted and alone desiring to sleep indefinitely. And as he found the strength for a second round, but this time there hadn’t been a third. But the next morning she was still there, in his arms, and although she was very embarrassed and awkward, she had not tried to escape. She had preferred to hide her face on his skin, which had finally absorbed those tears for too long withheld (for the year they had lost, because she wasn’t been the victim), she had tried to disappear to merge with him. And then she had re-emerged from the abyss and the other side had found right this man, patient as always, determined as never before.

She feels his presence behind. If even she hadn’t recognized his walk or his scent, she hadn’t need to be a profiler, or put a motion detector in his cellphone, to identify the person who appeared behind her. She not turns to look at him.

-I seems absurd that has passed already almost a year. I realize that it’s a banality that doesn’t suit me, but sometimes it’s as if it happened yesterday, others days seem to me full years passed and much more often… it seems it never ended.- he didn’t say anything. He moves at her side, to look exactly the same direction of the woman. His arm around her shoulders and in that single gesture there are friendship, respect, love, understanding, desire, consolation. -And even more comical, or tragic, depending on how you look at it, it’s that I owe my happiness to a serial killer.- she turns completely to him. It’s not need to replicate anything. It’s like this were a conversation made thousands of times, a ritual. Purifying.

-Let’s go home.-

TAGS: @theshamelessmanatee @itsdawnashlie @talesoffairies @janiedreams88 @kiki-krakatoa @yessenia993 @teyamarra @c00lhandsluke @gcchic @arses21434 @orangesickle @entireoranges @jarmin @kathy5654 @martinab26 @thisonekid @thenibblets @perfectly-penelope @ambrosiaswhispers @maziikeen92 @lovelukealvez @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @ichooseno @ megs2219 @rkt3357 @franklintrixie @thinitta @chewwy123 @skisun @maba84 @saisnarry @myhollyhanna23 @thenorthernlytes

#garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #luke x penelope #penelope x luke #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #criminal minds #cm #valentinesday

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jeremystrele · 4 years

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51 Rugs that are Brimming with Coziness and Textural Appeal

Looking for a simple and affordable addition to your home that has a big impact? An area rug may be just what you need. A rug is the perfect accessory not just to keep your feet off the cold floor, but also to add a layer of visual warmth and texture to your interior design. They only take a few minutes to lay down, they can be used in virtually any space, and they come in endless colors and styles for every budget. So if you’re looking for a plush rug to add a cozy feel to your bedroom, a textural jute rug for an organic aesthetic, or a fun cat rug to add flair to your bathroom, our expertly curated collection has both you and your floors covered!

Starting at $147BUY IT Moroccan Area Rug: A distressed pattern and neutral colors make this Moroccan rug a go-to for homes that want to incorporate texture and pattern in a subtle way. A great choice to offset dark or colorful furniture, plus with its easy clean and durable surface, it is ideal for homes with kids. Available in Dark Grey or Grey (shown) in 18 sizes.

$40BUY IT White High Pile Rug: If you are looking for fresh style and plush comfort, then look no further than this white high pile rug. This durable, loom weaved rug is sure to infuse any space with contemporary charm. Available in 3 sizes and 3 colors, Denim, Cream, or Light Grey (shown).

Starting at $19BUY IT Grey Rug: This grey rug may be simple, but it is none-the-less stylish with its tight weave and minimalist aesthetic. It offers stain resistance and a durable build at a budget-friendly price. It also comes in multiple sizes and colors, including Black, Red, Brown, and Navy Blue.

$35BUY IT 4 x 6 Green Rug: And if you’re looking for a bit of color, this 4 x 6 throw rug is an amazing choice for adult and kids spaces alike. It is handcrafted with a blend of bold colors contrasting against a beige chevron pattern that strikes the perfect balance of fun and sophisticated. Available in 8 sizes and 3 colors, Indigo, Magenta, or Green (shown.)

$152BUY IT Navajo Rug: A colorful rug that embraces pastels in a fun way! Its low pile height and creamy beige finish will lend any room a dash of comfort and an earthy aesthetic. Available in multiple colors and sizes. Encouraging Review: “I got the 5×7 for my daughter’s bedroom as a way to add just enough color without making it too busy, and I couldn’t be happier with the result.”

$139BUY IT Oriental Area Rug: This oriental rug doesn’t need bold hues to stand out—it instantly draws the eye with its intricate Persian-inspired pattern. A fantastic neutral foundation to build any living room, bedroom, or living room layout. Available in multiple colors and 2 sizes.

$56BUY IT Colorful Oriental Rug: Another oriental style rug, but one for those who crave some color. The assortment of colors woven through this rug highlight the elaborate distressed pattern to make it an instant focal point in any room. Perfect for spaces that want to offset simple furniture or incorporate a boho vibe.

$253BUY IT Prayer Rug: A woven tribal kilim that has been handcrafted from wool and expertly colored with natural dyes. An excellent rug to blend with either traditional or modern decor. Short on floor space? This work of art would also look exceptional as a wall hanging.

$127BUY IT Patterned Black and White Rug: Not only will this plush rug help any room feel fresh and contemporary, but its charcoal and cream coloring will effortlessly blend with almost any color scheme. Its polypropylene construction means that is highly durable—it even boasts being able to stand up to muddy shoes in the entryway. Available in 13 sizes.

$77BUY IT Striped Black and White Rug: A simple rug with a bold impact. This chunky striped rug can be used indoors or outdoors and it makes for quite the eye-catching welcome mat. It is UV stabilized, can withstand all weather conditions, and it’s super easy to clean. Just hose off and dry, and you are good to go! Available in 3 sizes.

$27BUY IT Black and White Runner Rug: Even your hallway could benefit from the style that a black and white rug offers. This runner rug features a boho-inspired pattern that will elevate any floor from the hallway to the kitchen. Black and white not for you? This design is also available in White or Blue.

$3795BUY IT Flokati Rug: Adding a rug to a bedroom is one of the simplest ways to make the space feel more cozy, and we love the versatility of this black and white rug in particular. The dynamic black lines found throughout create a sense of movement, while the design as a whole feels like a minimalist piece of art for your floors. Available in 6′ x 9′, 8′ x 10′, or 9′ x 12′.

$2195BUY IT Red Bedroom Rug: Or, if your bedroom could use the warmth or sensuality that a red rug can bring, this flatweave is a luxurious find. Designer Hella Jongerius says a successful rug has 3 components, “…Interesting yarns, great construction and the right technique to give the pattern dazzling oxygen.” We would say this red beauty certainly hits all the marks! Available in 6′ x 9′, 8′ x 10′, or 9′ x 12′.

$59BUY IT Braided Jute Rug: A braided jute rug is a fantastic—and affordable—way to add a layer of texture to your interior design. Its neutral coloring and earthy feel blends well with a variety of design styles, however, it look especially striking in a contemporary, French country, or coastal home. With 38 sizes and 9 colors available, you are sure to find just the right fit.

$151BUY IT Reversible Square Area Rug: A bit of color adds an extra layer of intrigue to this square rug. And since it is reversible, it has double the value—once one side wears out, you have a whole new rug waiting underneath! This would be an effortless addition to any coastal or boho space.

$73BUY IT Floral Rug: Shifting to brighter colors, this rug sure knows how to pop with its bold floral pattern. It is best paired with solid colored furniture and simple chunky patterns, but it is versatile enough to effortlessly integrate into any space. Available in multiple colors and sizes.

Starting at $26BUY IT Watercolor Flower Rug: A piece of art for your floor! This floral rug has a softer aesthetic thanks to its watercolor style patterning. The vivid coloring will make your home feel spring fresh all year long, while the softness and durability is sure to keep you comfortable.

Starting at $29BUY IT Diamond Pattern Shag Rug: If you think shag rugs belong in the 70s, then you probably haven’t seen this modernized version. Its neutral coloring and diamond pattern make it a go-to for the contemporary home. Plus, you can’t beat the comfort of that plush high pile! Available in 12 colors, including bold options like pink and teal.

Starting at $37BUY IT Safavieh Rug: Sometimes simple is best and this Safavieh rug knows it. It will infuse any room with a scoop of coziness thanks to its high pile design, while its neutral coloring will ensure it doesn’t hog the limelight. Beige not your style? Give this budget-friendly rug your own twist by choosing from 20 colors and 12 sizes.

$2195BUY IT Plaid Rug: Plaid has never looked as luxurious as it does in this flatweave area rug. Made by designer Hella Jongerius, this rug actually started off as a color test swatch for another project. However, the dynamic quality of the interwoven colors were too good to pass up. Filled with rich texture and an array of alluring colors, this rug is a must! Available in 6′ x 9′, 8′ x 10′, or 9′ x 12′.

$1995BUY IT Cowhide Rug: From the living room to the bedroom and everywhere between, this hand sewn luxury rug is sure to infuse any space with unprecedented style. We adore its patchwork construction and soft feel. Also available in Grey.

$199BUY IT Sheepskin Rug: Meditation, curling up by the fire, or enhancing a corner nook, a sheepskin rug is a highly versatile option. This rug measure 4′ x 6′ and is handcrafted from 100% genuine New Zealand & Australian wool, along with a genuine suede back for non-slip grip. Available in multiple colors, including punchier shades like Orange, Pink, Yellow, or Purple.

$122BUY IT Faux Fur Rug: We didn’t forget about those who prefer faux fur. This soft rug may not be genuine fur, but it looks and feels like the real deal. You will have everyone fooled into thinking you paid almost double the price! A surefire way to add a cozy cabin feel to any space big or small.

$611BUY IT Bear Rug: We couldn’t bear to leave this guy off our list! After all, he is flat out one of the coolest bear rugs we have seen and would look great in a kids room, play space, or anywhere that could use some quirky flair.

$25BUY IT Kids Play Rug: A rug that knows how to have fun! This playmat is a classic and a must for any kid’s space. Not only is it great to play with toy cars on, but it will keep your kid’s bottom off of the cold floor.

$795BUY IT Round Pinocchio Rug: A round rug that instantly caught our eye not just with its bright aesthetic, but its unusual build. It is made from hand rolled, multi colored felt balls that have been stung onto a single cord and sewn together into a circular shaped. Why is this rug called Pinocchio? It is named after Danish sugar-coated licorice.

$219BUY IT Colorful Oval Jute Rug : Oval rugs like this one often have a more playful feel. They are great to place under furniture and can help soften a room’s overall aesthetic. This rug in particular features a hand braided jute construction and a warm foundation that is perfect for a country-inspired kitchen or a sunroom that could use some color.

$205BUY IT Jute Rug by Drew Barrymore: From a child star to owning her own home line, there isn’t much that Drew Barrymore can’t do! This stylish round rug from her Flower Home Collection will help give your space a light and airy feel thanks to its jute build and great use of negative space.

Starting at $39BUY IT Jute Flatweave Area Rug: Organic simplicity is the name of the game with this jute flatweave rug. It features that signature jute texture, a tight weave, and a tasseled fringe. Want texture AND color? Get this rug in Light Blue, Navy Blue, or Orange.

$59BUY IT Chevron Living Room Rug: Add a bold touch to any living space with this large chevron rug in black and beige. Not only does it look great, but it is also stain resistant, so kids or messy adults can be clumsy in peace. Available in 4 sizes.

$65BUY IT Living Room Rug: A modern abstract rug with speckled accents and warm hues may be just the foundation your interior decor needs. A noteworthy rug that is anything but ordinary and sure to get noticed in any setting from the dining room to the living room. Also available in Blue or Black.

$104BUY IT Braided Runner Rug: This 100% cotton runner rug is a fun and versatile option. Encouraging Review: “Unique shape, well made, the colors are beautiful and it’s reversible for twice the wear. Plan to order a few more now that I know how wonderful it is. Everyone wants to know where I found it.”

$350BUY IT Grey Rug Set: Make a path with these in your home and everyday could be like playing the adult version of The Floor is Lava! These stone rugs are a unique way to bring a bit of nature indoors. Their organic shape was inspired by stepping stones stretching across a stream.

$69BUY IT Hearth Rug: Hand tufted in India and extra thick, this hearth rug will make your fireplace not only feel extra cozy, but protect your floor as well. Made from 100% wool and available in multiple colors.

$15BUY IT Small Cat Rug: A rug after a cat lovers heart. This small rug makes for an excellent bath mat, children’s seating mat, or door mat. But don’t be surprised if your furry friend tries to claim it for themselves.

$179BUY IT White Traditional Rug: Subtle patterning sets this white rug apart from the crowd. While its design blends enough to not overwhelm a room, it certainly adds an extra layer of intrigue and texture that many plain rugs lack. Available in 15 colors and multiple sizes.

$51BUY IT Navy Blue Area Rug: Add a sea of blue serenity to your space with this simple rug. It offers a rich blue color, stain resistance, PET fibre construction that utilizes recycled water bottles, and a plush surface that feels amazing not just to walk on, but sit on as well. Blue not for you? Try it in one of the other 6 colors available.

$61BUY IT Red Area Rug: Bold red and extra plush, this high pile rug is all about comfort and the wow-factor—without any bells and whistles. Just a quality rug that will surely add comfort to any space. Available in 19 sizes and 18 colors.

Starting at $33BUY IT Geometric Red Rug: Or perhaps you want a red rug with a bit more intricacy. The hexagonal pattern on this option is perfect for adding something a little extra, without being over the top. Available in multiple colors, including yellow which gives off some major bee hive vibes.

$51BUY IT Long Rag Rug with Tassels: This rag rug filled with trendy colors is a chic and contemporary choice for any floor. It leaves a soft cotton feel underfoot and quite the impression, making it an excellent addition to any casual space. Available in multiple colors and sizes.

$105BUY IT Round Rag Rug: Another rag rug, but this time in a whimsical circular shape. It has an artful appeal that will be an asset to any home, especially those looking for Bohemian chic decor. Smaller sizes starting at $33.

$3995BUY IT Cream Ripple Rug : The way that the black backing of this rug deepens the overall texture and offsets the creamy ripples is sure to turn a few heads. It definitely caught our attention! Its two tone finish and ripple effect were inspired by “rolling hills in a landscape of abundance.”

$39BUY IT Cat Ripple Rug: After all, they might leave your new rug alone if you buy them their own! The Cat Ripple Rug will keep your feline friends occupied for hours with multiple holes to dip and dive in. It acts as a multi-activity center for not just playing, but hiding, sleep, and scratching as well. With over 2000 reviews, it is clear that both cats and their humans love it!

$45BUY IT Square Grey Sisal Rug: An affordable rug that doesn’t skimp on style. It perfectly captures the look of real sisal, while having much more durability for high traffic areas—and a lower price. It is available in 6 colors and 5 sizes.

$74BUY IT Round Sisal Rug: A round rug that should definitely be considered if you want something eco-friendly. This handwoven jute rug offers a style that is highly versatile. Pop it under your white furniture for a bit of contrast or add it to your bedroom to breathe new life into the room. Available in 6 colors and multiple shapes.

$33BUY IT Small Checkered Outdoor Rug: Whether you want to welcome guests in style or impress the mailman, this outdoor rug has your back. It is a 27.5″ x 43″ sized rug—4″ wider and 7″ longer than commonly available rugs—so it is perfect for layering!

Starting at $28BUY IT Indoor Outdoor Rug: A stain resistant rug that can be utilized indoors or outdoors. It is a highly affordable pick with tons of positive reviews. Available in 9 sizes. Encouraging Review: “Absolutely love it! It looks and feels exactly like the real sisal I put in my clients homes all time… I would definitely purchase this again.”

$60BUY IT Round Outdoor Rug: Or maybe your patio could use the soft curves that a round rug offers. If that’s the case, this all-weather rug provides quality craftsmanship and unmatched style. It will keep things cozy, while its light color ensures it wont get burning hot on summer days. Available in multiple colors and shapes.

$66BUY IT Fun Round Outdoor Rug: Flowers that never need to be watered? Sign us up! This round floral rug will infuse your outdoor area with a pop of rich color that won’t fade or stain. So even when your real blooms start to fade, this rug has you covered! Available in 4 patterns and 14 sizes.

$94BUY IT Blue Outdoor Area Rug: The boho rug that your outdoor setup needs. Its rich blue color is ideal to add depth and a beachy aesthetic to your space. Encouraging Review: “This rug is even more beautiful than the picture! The colors are bold and vibrant…just perfect with my blue and turquoise outdoor decor.”

$798BUY IT Coastal Outdoor Rug: Give your patio some beach vibes this summer with this striped coastal rug. Its white base will make any setup feel bright and fresh, while its various blue stripes strike up memories of serene blue waters. Also available in Terracotta.

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