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#also i missed all the birthday posting yesterday as it has been a real week
myassbrokethefall · 3 months
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IT'S SCULLY'S 60TH BIRTHDAY (made by Julie Ng)
happy 60 years of being the only one thinking it through 👑
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chirpsythismorning · 1 year
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hi! i’ve been reading your analysis/theory posts and i love them all! i had a question about your will being twelve theory, i definitely see how he could be, the only thing i don’t really get is how he would be at the lab and have a life outside the lab? like mike said the first day of kindergarten will was on the swings by himself and they’ve been best friends ever since, and joyce talked about the crayons for his eigth birthday and how his friends all got him star wars toys, so we know he was friends with at least mike and lucas (i think dustin came in the 4th grade so it’s possible he was also friends with will at this point) and possibly other kids when he was younger, so how would he be able to have this whole life outside the lab while also being a kid at the lab?
Hey! I’m so glad you love reading them!! And also apologizes for taking so long to reply!
I don’t think, based on any fandom-wide consensus of the events on the show, as of now, that I'd be able to provide a definitive answer?
Like there has to be pieces missing, which have been left out for a reason, and those are the details that I think will be necessary to fully transcribe to this theory. Until then, there's too much missing for even me to believe it fully.
However, if twelvegate is real, or at least close to what’s going down, then even despite the entire audience missing it, I do think there are probably hints in the details connecting Will to Hawkins Lab, that were either missed or not pinpointed properly, which may or may not hold some answers.
I do have a of couple theories about where some pieces of the twelvegate puzzle might be hiding in earlier seasons. Although, I think beyond pointing them out and talking about them, it will only lead us to more questions!
TBH, most of this post will just be me trying to come up with some possibilities. While I don't fully believe all the observations I've came across are leading in every direction I speculate them to be, I do think the answers for the ending have to be in the show. There are only so many options to work with here... And so, whatever. I'm going for it.
To start things off, a wise man once said:
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I always wondered if this could be a hint to the audience that the answers to some major questions are hidden in some sort of papers we've seen/heard of throughout the show? Newspapers, documents, drawings perhaps?
This then reminded me of the newspaper clipping(s) they showed at the end of s1 related to Will's disappearance:
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Hawkins Lab Blocks Inquiry (left)
Coroner Arrested For Falsifying Autopsy (middle bottom)
More Heads Roll in Ongoing State Trooper Scandal (right)
The Boy Who Came Back To Life (middle)
The former missing child Will Byers has been found after a week of searching. He is presently in stable condition in Hawkins General Hospital. Byers' mother, Joyce Byers, alleges Will was the subject of a secret government program run by the Hawkins National Laboratory. The allegation comes amidst a massive investigation into the hidden organization and its elaborate experimentations in perusal of mind control. — The abuse detailed in the first report includes prolonged physical duress and psychological interrogation. This [gove]rnment sanctioned torture has [prov]oked outrage amongst the American . . . In a statement issued yesterday . . . Ives mentioned her "disgust" . . . the organization saying, "our own [Ame]rican people are being treated like . . . we should be directing our . . . to the real target, the Soviets, not . . . own daughters and sons." Under legal . . . Brenner has issued no comment on . . .
An article by that same title resurfaces in s2. However, it seems to have changed some of the details about what happened, in an update of sorts.
The Boy Who Came Back To Life (s2)
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"In a recent statement, the state coroner's office has admitted to misidentifying the body recovered from the Sattler Quarry as twelve year old Will Byers. Will Byers had gone missing two days prior, inspiring the town of Hawkins to form a search party in the hopes of finding him. When a boy's body was recovered from Sattler Quarry, the case seemed solved. Six days later local police, lead by Chief Jim Hopper, found Byers alive in an abandoned cave a few miles outside of Hawkins."
Obviously, the update of this article had to do with the State coming in and covering things up.
I've read up on it, but all I can find from the ga's consensus back then, is there was some confusion over the fact that the article went from being about Will and his disappearance being connected to Hawkins lab and experimentation and mind control, only to switch in the next paragraph to Terry Ives report on Jane's abduction. A lot of people speculated that it was probably just a copy paste error, where like the Duffers were too lazy to put something relevant there, and so they slapped on a random paragraph and called it a day?
Now, to be real with you, even if the Duffers themselves said this was the case, that it was just an error on their part, I would not believe them...? Because rewatching that shot, you can tell it's important? Like what else is the point of it, if not to hint at something? And then why have it return in the following season (literally one episode later?), with an update, that clearly covers up most of the details, if there's no deeper reason behind it?
One thing from the s1 version that has me side eyeing is, 'our daughters and sons' (Willel s1 crumbs?).
I also find it interesting that they refer to the quarry as Sattler Quarry, twice? It doesn't seem that important on the surface, but from what I remember Sattler Quarry was really sort of sus in terms of what they were up to and the way they were talked about, in connection to Hawkins Lab and them scrambling to cover up Will's disappearance by planting a fake body there? Idk it just feels weird...
Which brings me to this next small detail I haven't heard anyone talk about before, but I have a feeling it could be part of this, or perhaps part of something that is still yet to be revealed.
The night they find Will's body, Karen and Ted are watching the news. We hear the reporter talking about Will's body being found at the quarry. Though the audio is loud enough to hear at the beginning, the newscast shifts to quiet background noice as Mike's parents begin talking.
White text is easy to hear/red text is a little difficult to hear:
"Byers' body was found in the water of this quarry by state police earlier this evening. He was discovered by state trooper David O'Bannon, just after dark. The state police are mounting an investigation to determine Byers' cause of death. But an initial inquiry... *few indistinct words* suggests that foul play was involved. Will Byers was a 7th grader at Hawkins Middle School. He was reported missing on Monday morning by his mother. Now, Byers isn't the first person to drown in Sattlers Quarry, if you'll recall, only 7 years ago--"
Now, I have tried and tried, but even still now, I cannot discern what was said after "But an initial inquiry...", because Ted interrupts and it muddles up his words with the reporter's, to the point where I can't discern it well enough. I think I hear the word media somewhere in there?
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As far as I know, no one has talked about this, at least not enough for it to even be mentioned on the Stranger Things Wiki timeline.
I legit checked the timeline while making this post, hoping to find it, and hopefully anything else that might have occurred that year.
TW: byler
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Okay. Cool. It appears, according to Wiki at least, nothing substantial happened in the year 1976, other than the fact that it was the year Mike and Will met on the swings in kindergarten. I assume that would've been in August/September of 1976? Then this drowning at Sattlers Quarry would've been on Nov. 7th, 1976, a few months later (and 7 years before Will's 'vanishing')?
I always thought it was interesting that they said kindergarten specifically. Like kindergarten? That's such a cliche in and of itself. But what if that was the point? To make it something we heard and then just went with, but in reality they're giving us a hint? (Will and Mike would've been five years old in 1976).
I do think that the mention of something happening, exactly 7 years prior, to the day...? Like that's really odd? Not only is it connected to Will because it's the day he went missing, but also... 'it was a seven'?
Though, I feel like if it had to do with Will specifically, they would have included that (which reminds me, if anyone can transcribe that indiscernible part of the newscast, LMK!)? Also if it was another child even, wouldn't they have mentioned that too? That seems like it would be an important detail?
But then the scene cuts off right there. Like the second the word 'ago' leaves the reporter's mouth, we're suddenly in Mike's basement (interesting...). And so, apparently they were willing to mention this anniversary like event, with the infamous number seven, only to cut it short without any further context for what actually happened 7 years prior?
I guess I would have to rewatch and pay attention to see if there are any other hints that could somehow relate to this occurrence that happened in 1976, but since like I said, no one's really talked about it (correct me if i'm wrong pls!), there isn't anywhere for me to really go from here in regards to that.
But it does make me wonder if this was one of the easter eggs David talked about being all the way back in s1, because like? I just really don't see a reason for it be there at all unless there was a reason?
Specifically in combination with Twelvegate it interests me because, Sattler Quarry was the place that Hawkins lab decided to put Will's fake body (why did they need to go all out in the first place in Will's case??).? Is it possible they were doing something there 7 years ago, related to the lab?
Like this does make me wonder about the whole Will created the upside down theory? I've read some crazy theories over the years about how a lot of what occurs with the supernatural happenings going on in Hawkins, aligns with Will and his emotions at times? For example, there's quite a few times Will sensed the mindflayer before/after something occurred, often related to Mike, and then we'd see Will touching his neck. But it wasn't always like that from what it seemed, and so I never really thought anything of it.
And then s4 happened, and this theory has sort of slowed down after it was 'confirmed' Henry got banished to the upside down by El after the massacre at Hawkins Lab, presumably encountering the mindflayer, before Will?
However, in combination with twelvegate and everything, what if Henry getting banished there also had to do with Will? Because I mean technically speaking, if Will is Twelve, that would mean he was right there in the rainbow room with El that day, only like a few feet away...
What if they were doing wonder-twin shit? Will creation powers combining with El's destruction powers?
It's still unknown why Henry would target Will in the first place, like could it be because it was all Will's creation to begin with?
This also reminded me of the constant imagery of Twelve playing with the red tower in the rainbow room. We see this repeatedly, like a lot. We even see El hung up a drawing of said tower in her room at the lab... Twelve building that red tower reminds me of Flayed Billy's 'we've been building it!'...
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TBH I had no idea what the red tower in s4 could possibly mean up to this point. But in the context of Will being Twelve with creation powers, it makes a whole lot more sense. (Is the upside down stuck on the day Will entered it, because the creator showed up and now it's just stuck on create mode? LOL... Wait, but actually???).
I think the only way it would work, is if Will was a unique case, which obviously he would have to be if he created the upside down? Though I'm not so sure I think that Hawkins Lab knows this? Or maybe they do?
TBH I think it's a lot more likely Will has been able to predict some things, for example, Owens keeps talking about how this has been a long time coming, they've been preparing for this. And that took me back to s2 when Will was at Hawkins Lab talking about a storm...? Could that have been Will sensing what was still to come? And was Owens taking notes? Because in the past he had been able to predict some things based on what he saw/how he captures what he sees in his drawings?
I mean Owens was literally rewatching Will's tapes. And there are moments with him that just feel like there's something deeper going on there that we're missing. Quite frankly a lot of the scenes with Will at Hawkins Lab are missing answers, so that in and of itself is, very weird to brush off.
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Eery to say the least.
These scenes also remind me of the onlookers El was met with when she arrived at Nina:
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I've said recently that Owens and Brenner give off good cop/bad cop vibes, and I still feel that way. However, what I think at this point is that Owens is more focused on the 'cause' aka the US military having the upper-hand against the Soviets aka what he could get out of this monetarily/reputation wise, as like a patriot/war criminal. This would also parallel quite nicely with Paul Reiser's character in Aliens, which is a movie that's heavily inspired ST since the beginning.
Yeah, Owens would rather not hurt people if he doesn't have to, especially if he's not even getting any results out of it. But even still, I think Owens would choose to exploit anyone if it meant getting the results that he is expected to be getting, in the position that he is in.
In contrast to Owens, what Brenner gets out of it appears to be some weird father/daughter bond, manifested from raising El in the lab, which was also manifested by Brenner's weird familial bond with Henry as well.
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Notice how Owens refers to Brenner as Martin, like, twice...? He even refers to them as an us? These dudes are colleagues, they are equals. The only difference is Brenner has this weird familial lens guiding his actions, whereas Owens actions are all keeping the goals for their cause in mind. And what even is their cause exactly?
We basically get Owens revealing that Brenner convinced him this was the ONLY way they could do this. Which means there were arguably other options, though this was the plan they went with because Brenner insisted it would work, and now they're having to stick to it.
El was a unique case compared to all the other kids presumably, who were brought there at some point in their childhood. From what I recall, Kali (008) for example, was discovered in London, then abducted and brought to Hawkins lab at a young age, but not infancy. Even in her case, she managed to escape Hawkins Lab before the massacre. And so, it's not like every scenario has to look identical El's in order for it to work, though in Will's case, it would definitely need to be explained in a way that fits with what they've told us so far. Which I agree, would be hard to do.
My guess as of now, is that they came across Will's powers via him being able to predict things with his drawings (rainbowshipgate), and that might have inspired part of Hawkins Labs efforts in the year 79. That scene with Ten and Brenner drawing felt very much like this was their first time doing this, and so it must have been a recent disovery at the time?... Hawkins lab wasn't always like that, even when El was a kid growing up there, like SUPER young, it was a little bit different than the numbers 1-19, shaved head, nightgown 24/7 vibes. That version of Hawkins lab required them gradually getting to that point over the last decade, making discoveries as they went. As far as I could tell, they used to be kind of accepting of letting families in there back in the day, because they came off as more lenient in those times, before they cracked down and started being a lot more secretive, resorting to covering things up almost entirely.
Although I think it's likely they're unaware Will made the upside down itself (if he even did), they know something... There's something about this scene with Brenner and Owens in particular, that's just so downright suspicious, to the point where I don't understand why it's not talked about more.
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This scene is from 4x07, right after Owens bitched Brenner out for not getting them any results. And so, what is being alluded to here, is that EVERYTHING we saw in 4x07, essentially what was presumably being presented to us as the real truth, after 6 episodes of us watching everything from El's confused POV, isn't even the whole truth???
Also, notice the tapes. Brenner takes the tape labeled with the day of the massacre, Sept 8th, 1979. However, the shot makes a point to show him almost hesitating. We see like 4 tapes from the month of August, and like 7 tapes already for the month of September, with no more tapes to follow after the 8th (obvs bc the massacre). Apparently it was a busy September. What I find weird is that there were two tapes for the day before the massacre, Sept. 7th, 1979.? There's nothing else I find too suspicious about this shot, besides that, and so I am curious about what this could possibly mean.
"How much time did you skip?"
Why not let the audience see what was skipped? It's almost like whatever they skipped over would be a major spoiler to us? And combined with everything else, I would not be surprised if whatever they didn't let us see had something to do with Twelve aka Will...
I understand your doubt with this theory, because I too struggle with figuring out how exactly it would overlap with our understanding of the story and the presumed timeline that's been presented to us thus far.
However, again, I think that there has to be small details in the story, which are essential to un-cracking this, even despite what the overarching narrative has been leading us to believe and assume up to this point. I also think it requires us being misinformed about some things, because otherwise it would be too easy to figure everything out. I mean look at us rn? They don't want people getting too close to the truth and so they need those barriers in the way stopping people from getting to close to the surprise. They literally depend on us assuming they are stupid to achieve all of this.
And even still, the Duffer's themselves have said that the final season will circle back to s1 to answer things that were never answered, along with David saying there's easter eggs from s1 that will make the ending wonderful, and Noah himself saying the show started with Will and will end with Will... And so, there's gotta be something here.
And honestly, upon some casual rewatching since coming across twelvegate, I've noticed a lot of details that connect Will to Hawkins Lab...
One in particular, is the fact that it's established within the first 5 minutes of the series, that Will lives near Hawkins Lab:
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So there are arguably places for this theory to build off of, which already exist in the show...
One explanation in particular that I've seen a lot of fans use as a possibility to explain all of this, is Lonnie.
In s1 he showed up after Will's body was recovered, and he made a remark about how Sattler Quarry had no warning signs around it, and that they should be held accountable. Joyce grew suspicious of his behavior and went through his stuff, discovering that Lonnie only came to sue Sattler to receive a big sum of money.
And so within the context of the show, right off the bat, they are saying that not only did Lonnie make homophobic remarks about Will, treat Joyce like she was crazy, but he also apparently only came back after Will was dead, so that he could get a bunch of money out of it...?
There's been theories about this for years, but this could fit into Will, and now even Henry potentially, being brought to the lab, on the front that it would be treatment for conversion therapy.
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The parallels between Will and Henry could be entirely related to the upside down/powers, but I just think the wording of those parallels between them, being tied mostly to Will's queer-coding, makes me very skeptical there's nothing more to it?
And like I said, Hawkins Lab was looking for any excuse to not only find kids with natural powers, but to also exploit anyone that posed as an opportunity to them.
Terry Ives for example, wasn't one of the numbered kids in Hawkins Lab, but she was still involved with others who literally volunteered there, and were put on experimental drugs (also another way Lonnie could have been involved with the Lab), which led to El being abducted with the guise that she died during a miscarriage.
People forget that mind control is Hawkins Labs' specialty. And that they used it for more than just studies and experimentation...
The lab did everything they could to cover up what's happened over the years, when it came to El and Terry especially from what we saw. And so, why wouldn't this apply to other kids?
I remember in s2 when Brenner got replaced, Owens said the everyone involved with the lab previously, was gone, with him insisting he was one of the good ones, practically begging Joyce (and Hopper) to trust him... And yet not even a few episodes later he was telling Jonathan and Nancy that he would stop at nothing to keep the truth from spreading... Nothing.
Which then brings us to the most complex of it all. Memories.
I think that it's possible that memory stealing could be a thing that spans multiple characters, and with an organization that specializes in mind control, with us literally seeing that play with Terry Ives in earlier seasons, and also with El's repressed memories in s4 (with the lab having tapes to bring back those memories), I'm gonna presume it's not out of the realm of possibility that there's more to all of this.
Not saying that it's going to be memory stealing in the most generic way possible. Same with the whole time travel debacle. I don't think how we understand these concepts, based on what we've seen in other media, is going to apply exactly in every shape/form for ST. I think it's going to be a lot more complex and have to fit somehow into our understanding of things in this universe already. Do I think it will be easy? No. But the Duffers have surprised me before so I do think that they are capable of doing it again.
And even still, I only feel comfortable speculating about this, in the cases of the kids and the parents, aka Terry and El, Will (Jonathan?) and Joyce, Hopper and Sarah...
And that's about where my theory starts to get kind of stupid.
If you remember, there was a theory way back in s2, that El, Will and Sarah could have all possibly been connected to Hawkins lab. And it's because they all 3 had similar stuffed animals.
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Hopper is also shown to be at Hawkins lab in his flashbacks around the time of his daughter's death in 78 (1 year before the massacre). We also get a parallel shot of this, with Sam Owens in s2 (s/out Sam Owens is evil truthers)
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BONUS: Shot of El in s4, in this same staircase in the flashbacks of the lab massacre in 79.
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Back in the day, there were theories Sarah's death could've been a cover up, and that perhaps she was targeted by the lab similar to other test subjects. It just so happened that for whatever reason, her case ended differently than the others? Or so we think...?
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Now you might be wondering, what could have possibly connected Hopper to Hawkins Lab?
Vietnam.
This is another avenue I could totally see Hawkins Lab recruiting test subjects. I mean, it's not like it's one of the most well known tropes in comic books for a person whose encountered radiation to gain super powers or anything...
I also find it interesting that Hopper’s daughter died of cancer, after having an episode quite similar to Will's, which lead her to losing all her hair. And this happened at Hawkins lab (what we can presume based on the setting), a little bit before the labs whole weird shaved head, crayon drawing renovation..?.
Interesting...
In all honesty, Hopper himself has been keeping secrets. This is something that David Harbour has alluded to since s2, when there were boxes from Hoppers cabin shown, with the one El went through literally being labeled Hawkins Lab.
Not to mention, s4 finally explored and introduced to us how Vietnam affected him and his family, sort of building up this storyline, with flashbacks of Sarah, which we’ve been seeing for like season upon season now? They really like showing us these flashbacks with Sarah for some reason… and I can’t help but feel like that storyline isn’t over. So considering some of the evidence, it feels like there could be something going on there.
Not to mention, at the end of s1, we get this moment where Hopper goes in a government vehicle and what happened is only really alluded to. But why not let us see what they talked about?
It does beg to question, that if a lab managed to convince Hopper his daughter died of cancer... Anything is possible.
I also think Joyce being referred to as crazy/out of her mind by herself, Lonnie, Jonathan and like everyone in town in s1, does make me intrigued by the prospects of s2 sort of covering up whatever facts they gave to us back then, bc like.. idk. There's room there for something to have happened I guess. Like the fact that she even felt an urge to check to see what Lonnie was up to, and found out he was trying to get a bunch of money out of Will's death? Like, was history repeating?
I also love that you mentioned the crayons for Will's birthday, because I actually came across Twelvegate when I was reading about another theory, Rainbowshipgate.
If you haven't read it, RUN!
Basically what it boils down to is how the story about Will getting crayons on his eighth birthday, using those crayons to draw a rainbow spaceship, which Joyce then hung up at Melvald's, even going as far as to apparently show it to every person that came in, saying her son drew it... could have been a hint that connects Will to Hawkins Lab.
In fact, this is something several casual fans have observed and talked about on reddit since s2, comments about how ironic it was that Will drew a rainbow spaceship, when we all know there's another major significance to rainbows in the show, ie the rainbow room at Hawkins Lab...
So it's like, are these the easter eggs David was talking about, or??..
I shit you not, reading everything I could about rainbowshipgate, I got curious and decided to rewatch the Hawkins lab scenes from s4.
I was thinking like, hypothetically, if rainbowshipgate was on track in some way? Couldn't Will be a lab kid?
And so I literally went into rewatching those scenes, looking for a lab kid that could be Will-coded. And I was not disappointed. There Twelve was, giving off major Will Byers vibes, and that's when everything sort of clicked for me and I started posting about it.
Also, for those that don't know, there were theories back in the s3 era at least, where fans were already speculating that Will could be Twelve... Though those same theorists haven't returned to update their observations for s4 (meaning all their evidence predates s4 evidence).
However, what I now personally am leaning towards, is that they are connected.
Because if Will's birthday is March 22nd, then it's possible that anytime throughout that year, someone from Hawkins Lab could have stumbled into Melvald's, observed the drawing, and told other higher ups at the lab about it. Upon a little bit of digging, they discovered this kid lived right in their back fucking yard?? I would not be surprised what lengths they would go through to get that kid. Like come on man, that's too easy!
That's another thing, the Byers' home being like right next to Hawkins Lab is just weird in and of itself? So that could be an easy explanation for how Will attended the lab. It would have likely required it being a secret between Lonnie and maybe Jonathan who found out and had to stay quiet. It also could have played a role in their divorce? Who knows. I do think that they're consistent mention of Will's sexuality/queer-coding as the main topic to come up whenever they talk about Lonnie is really suspect. But that's just a theory for now.
Personally, despite all the evidence, because there is quite a lot, I'm still not entirely confident in regards to all this.
It does make me feel more intrigued by other theories though, like birthdaygate and will having powers. I am like 99% confident in those theories, and so there is this element of appeal in that I feel like stuff we've already speculated about in the fandom before, fits quite nicely into twelvegate.
What I'm honestly excited for is ST5 promotion to start rolling out. As early as production starts, we should start getting some crumbs, and it will only grow exponentially from there!
And that's when all us theorists will have more to work with. Because they'll definitely leave easter eggs and hidden messages within the major promotion they drop. And this time a lot of us will actually be paying attention!! Whatever they leave here and there could have the potential to prove/disapprove theories we've been compiling for months before all of this.
Thank you for the ask!! And sorry again for the delay!
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hermeticimp · 9 months
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Full Moon in Pisces (8.30.23) - Savior Complex
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So, the Full Moon is in Pisces right now and my favorite artist's birthday was yesterday, so I'm dealing with a lot of feelings. I was encouraged to share them by @adapembroke and we've been trying to get me to post more, so here's hoping this is the full start of that. I won't get into my adoration for Michael here. That is something I will do in future posts because I have plenty I plan to write on him. This is about the raw emotions and realization that hit me in the last 24 hours. Just know that love goes deep and is unshakeable. Continues under the cut
I have feelings - especially since Michael's birthday was literally yesterday and he has a Pisces Rising (like me) conjunct his Pisces Moon. I spent Monday and Tuesday listening to him - the first day my brother was cooking for school, so we spent the day downstairs listening to his albums and going back and forth on what we appreciated about them. I find his album Dangerous from '92 is a surprise favorite since it's very 90s but even 30 years later still speaks on things we deal with now.
Then yesterday, I watched one of his live tour performances. I was having fun for awhile, but then it hit me just how much I miss and love him and why I fear shining too much as a sensitive person - because I watched one of my idols be destroyed by the world he was in. A person I share all my critical angles with, a person who also has Leo and Virgo placements and a Libra NN, his being conjunct my natal Chiron. He was a star who loved and shared his heart and he was crucified for what he said. That terrifies me. Michael's music was one of a handful of artists' that got me through the hardest times and his death was a changing point in my life. I love him much more than I would ever want to admit - even to myself, which makes that fear all the more real. I don't want to go out like he did. I don't wanna be destroyed for daring to be a voice against the crowd. It feels like all kinds of past life wounds and fears have been dredged up with this moon transiting my 12th and 1st houses.
So that was a lot. I've been really reflective. At the same time as this fear, I found a podcast last night about learning to embrace your voice and I've spent part of today reading the book "My Friend Fear". I even managed writing the characters I've been meaning to write for months this past week. So I don't want to let fear stop me, regardless of how valid. I just need to figure out balancing my fear and my need to use my voice. I think Michael being so relevant right now is meant to help with that.
Another theme that's been prevalent in the last few weeks, but feels pretty poignant on top of what I said is the concept of being someone's "savior". That theme has come up a lot. There's even a song ("Savior") by someone I look up to - Kendrick Lamar - where he talked about how he couldn't be anyone's savior even though people wanted him to be. On another song on the same album ("Mirror"), he apologizes for choosing to save himself and his family and not being that savior - which irked me when it came out (last year) because I never felt he needed to be sorry for that. You can't save everyone. You shouldn't be sorry for choosing yourself, especially when you've already given so much.
And yet, that's what Pisces does. It gives and gives and gives until it has nothing for itself. And it fails to have compassion for itself. It's inconjunct Leo, who healthily does take care of itself. They both have to learn the balance between healthily self-focus and giving compassionately and genuinely. And I've been struggling with that. Michael struggled with it and in the end, the Pisces shadow is how he left the world. I don't want that. If these Leo transits have taught me anything, it's that I don't want that. Sure, being vulnerable is scary, but I've spent my whole life being self-sacrificial and not valuing myself. It didn't get me anywhere good - not in the long-term. So why not embrace myself and who I really am? Why not embrace self-compassion and love while still giving people room to be themselves? I won't allow myself to stay transfixed by my pain. I will continue to dive deep and transmute it into light while exploring my depths and the depths of the world around me - to go underneath the underneath.
I will be me, even in this world that says that's wrong. I don't have a choice. Even if that means confronting what scares me most. I have to live for me.
I'm not anyone's savior but my own. You can't be anyone's savior but your own. The best you can do is lead by example - to be an inspiration, a Muse - the last of which is hilariously on the nose for me since I played a Greek mythology video game called Stray Gods: A Roleplaying Musical this past week where you play as a Muse who helps solve people's issues by getting them to sing what's in their heart. She can't force them to lie or go against their true nature, but she can elicit and inspire them to express themselves truthfully (to an extent). Even funnier is that the character's name - Grace - is one of the meanings for my nickname irl - Anna.
Michael's asteroid - like Hermes - lies in my 11H in Cap. He's an inspiration, a guiding light, a Muse… but he isn't my savior. He shouldn't have been anyone's but his own. And I won't try to be anyone else's either. Not if I want to make it out of this life the way I want to. I can't fall into the Neptunian illusion or Jupiterian delusion of grandeur. I have a voice and I will share it. If people resonate, they do and that's great. If they don't, that's fine too. It's not my job to save everyone - only to be share what I feel needs to be said and expressed for us to start healing as a whole. To share what I need to to express myself and be of service by doing so. I don't want to lose my faith and magic in this world, my sense of wonder. Michael is one of those that reminds me of that - for good and bad. I will honor myself first and foremost. I won't drown in this ocean inside me.
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jenatwork · 8 months
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I feel like some major family drama is currently building up and I absolutely have to share it somewhere, but it's too long and convoluted to explain to anyone in-person, so.
Last week both my parents tested positive for covid. Mum's already had it three times, but this is the first time dad's had it. They're both multi-vaxed, so no real worries.
BUT.
1. We had plans to go for lunch today for dad's 70th birthday. I asked if they were going to postpone, and they said they'd both test again on Saturday (yesterday). They also told me, after I'd already agreed to going, that they'd invited my mum's friends, who I don't particularly like because they're racist (like, will use racial slurs level of racist). So I wasn't terribly bothered about postponing. Dad's birthday is on the 19th, so I can wait a few days.
BUT.
2. Saturday morning, I get a phone call to say that (a) mum is still testing positive, (b) dad hasn't tested because it will probably be positive, and (c) my grandmother is dying. Grandma has been ill for some time so this wasn't unexpected, and also she was a major contributor to my complex-ptsd and has a long history of being awful to lots of the family, so I am not the least bit sad. At this point, they're not sure if lunch is going ahead, because the table is pre-booked.
3. Saturday evening, I get another phone call to tell me that (a) grandma has died, (b) dad is still planning to go out for Sunday lunch because he's isolated for 5 days and the UK government advice says that's enough, and (b) mum isn't going to go because, you know, her mother just died. I tell mum to let me know if she needs anything from me, and then let my sister know that dad might need a nudge to be more attentive at home because he can't handle other people's emotions, then I remind myself that I'm not responsible for mediating anyone else's relationships and I switch off from it all.
4. I call my mother today to check in, and find out that they are both intending to go out for lunch with the racist family friends and my sister and her family. Remember that mum was still testing positive 24 hours ago. Dad is audibly coughing in the background while I talk to mum. I make no comment about them going out while clearly still ill, and ask mum to keep me posted on funeral arrangements. I remind them that I am supposed to travel for a big work conference next week, but may be able to take a day off if they need me for anything.
So.
Here's what I'm expecting.
At least one person at today's lunch will contact covid. If it's my sister or brother-in-law, there is a chance they may miss the funeral. If the funeral is any later than next Sunday, I might not be able to attend because of the big work conference (given my history with my grandma, I would absolutely choose work over her funeral, but I don't know if I can choose work over being available if my mother needs support, because dad has terrible communication skills and can't handle other people's emotions) but, as mentioned, there is a considerable chance my sister may contract covid, leaving me to be the responsible sibling, especially as also my mum's siblings may not attend the funeral as my uncle has avoided contact for the past couple of years for unknown reasons and my aunt was treated even worse by my grandma than I was.
I am immensely grateful that I live a full county away from my family and physically cannot travel up there at the drop of a hat.
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gstqaobc · 3 years
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💜💜💜HI FROM PG💜💜💜
💜💜💜HI FROM PG💜💜💜
Hello there everybody! I thought I would send a message or a post and just let you all know that I miss you and I miss being a very active part of Skippy‘s blog!!
I had my second vaccination the Astrazeneca on Tuesday and had my doctor assessment yesterday and my arm is getting better it’s still is not 100% so I am taking it low and slow and using the dictation software. I know so many of you have left messages such kind words of love and support and I really really really appreciate them! And I want to say a special message to💜🙏🏻💜 CHERUB, 💜🙏🏻💜you know that you are  in my  prayers every single day. Jesus is with you he will never leave you or for sake you no matter what happens. I will be back probably in another week I think with if my arm continues as it is progressing.
Now I have a few things I wanna say about what’s happening here first I wanna say the visit to Scotland was a rousing success and as usual our Catherine slayed Fashion wise and interpersonal skills wise! I saw someone write a comment that they didn’t like her in the brown and the khaki but I had commented a couple of weeks ago when she wore that beautiful camel coloured coat that I wish she would wear browns and taupes more often so I was just elated to see her wear those long wide leg pants that were hemmed exactly as they should be not dragging on the ground! I just think that this couple can do no wrong and they both very well for the future! Now I am not biased by my affection for the Cambridge is at all ha ha Ha! By the way I received my Hold Still book this week and I also received from Royal Mail Her Majesty’s at 95th birthday stamp first day cover and coin which was reasonably price I think £20? Anyhow the book is very substantial and because of my left arm being the way it is I have yet to be able to look at it because it’s quite heavy and it is a huge book, but I am looking forward to the day when I can hold it and I can enjoy looking at the pictures! Again I say Catherine kudos to you on your fabulous projects! Catherine I also wonder if you’re stealing my word wowza because when you met with Mila for tea, you said wowza as she showed her dress twirling. I’m wondering are you borrowing from PG?? Aka me?? 😂😂😂🤣🤣Catherine you are most welcome to share the word while that I think we are the only two people on the planet that still say it ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
OK now onto our Harry. Heads together in the UK and many other mental health organizations around the world are doing fabulous work. CBT or cognitive behavioural therapy, cognitive restructuring, EDMR, Hipnosis, that’s spelt wrong but hey I’m dictating hypnosis is spelled HYPNO either we go anyhow those are all legitimate therapies done when they’re done by trained professionals! One thing that has always driven me crazy about Oprah and Dr. Phil who is her who is her surrogate,  is they do mumbo-jumbo therapy on tv and have people share their just horrific interpersonal stories with an audience and a television audience! It just it just sickens me to make people so vulnerable for attention and ratings and money and advertising! When I saw Harry doing the tapping and whatever I just felt whether he was doing it for real or whether he’s towing the line as I believe it is just so wrong to show somebody at their most vulnerable!! It just sickens me.
However let’s let us ask ourselves why is this happening now? When ‘her’, l will continue to use the descriptor ‘her’ was doing all the talking a.k.a. lying because every time her lips move we know she’s lying and now she’s been silent. But for the last well since about the time that the Duke of Edinburgh passed away Harry allegedly has flown back to the to the United States where apparently he’s lived for two years one article said which surprises me but anyways what what’s truth and in articles. And he has been everywhere good morning America that all these Apple things with Oprah and celebrities and doing this and that and the other all for mental health!
You know sometimes it’s too much of a good thing. There’s a lot of excellent organizations in Canada there’s a CMH a Canadian mental health Association all over the world. But this constant stream of video and him in our face that’s not normal and the things he saying or lies and their provable lies that they’re not difficult at all. This is NOT NORMAL! IT IS A DELIBERATE OVERSATURATION FILLED WITH SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES IN THE VIDEOS, TRUST ME, SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES IN ADVERTISING IS REAL. TAKE A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO A FASHION MAGAZINE AND LOOK CLOSELY. YOU WILL BE AMAZED WHAT IS EMBEDDED IN THEM. JUST LIKE THE DISNEY VIDEOS THAT WERE SHOWN TO HAVE ADULT DRAWINGS.
In knowing Harry’s dedication to his Queen, his grandmother and his grandfather why on earth would he pick the first few days after the funeral to dig in like this and go so public? Why? We really must ask ourselves why? I will tell you why he is continuing to expose evil! There are all kinds of organizations that I’m not gonna name any “churches” some start with the letter S which many celebrities are members of Tom C is one. These organizations manipulate people and just like the NIXVM did in Canada. These backers are evil people and they’re willing to use people for anything in anyway at any purpose. The last picture I saw of Harry it was a video but I didn’t watch the video he looks so pale and so gaunt and so unwell that even though I believe he is doing the right thing and exposing all this and eventually hopefully eventually this will wrap up with him being free and everyone brought to justice let’s hope and pray, this is taking a terrible toll on him an absolute terrible toll. I have to again harken back to London scoop, everything has come to pass that she foretold way back several years ago when she came upon this information about this plot. I did a post one post last week where I propose the thought that the plot to integrate the British royal family began in the 1990s with princess Diana and I still believe that. I don’t know all the reasons or who the people would be but things things are just smelling very funny very very funny and I don’t mean funny as in laughter I mean funny as an off off off off!!!
So I say let us continue to pray for our Queen her family pray for the Cambridges, that they all stay safe and healthy the whole family to especially pray for Harry, whether do you think he’s doing his duty or you think he’s fallen under her trap and has become some whimpering child, pray for him all the more then because he needs it. If you really believe that he is he is doing this on his own free will because he’s mesmerized by her or he is woke and has become part of the woke world my goodness he needs more prayer than ever! To be released from these bondages!!
OK kids that’s my more than my two cents worth! As you all know it’s never one word thing with me I am very elaborative! I miss you all miss you and you all know who you are! Take care sending you all my love and prayers, PG!! I beg you all please don’t forget about me because I shall return I shall return!
To my dear Skippy, thank you for always being there. Thank you for relay messages. Most especially thank you for this safe space, your friendship and your prayers.
To my MM Anon/ Kensington Anon, thank you so much for your kind messages of love and support I have really appreciated it. I just feel like I’ve let everybody down by not being able to do the stories about the Cambridges. But I shall return soon hopefully in a week I’ll see how my arm is but it’s getting better hopefully in a week. I hope this finds you well, I hope you read this I don’t know if you ever checked my blog but if you do you will see this here.
💜🙂🙏🏻✝️💟PG💟✝️🙂🙏🏻💜
GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Amphiba: True Colors Review or FINALLY THE  FINALE
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We’re finally here all you happy people! Ten Months, 36 episodes, 20 half hours, a lot of gay subtext, a lot of bloodshed, and a lot of build up have lead us all here! One absolutely STUFFED finale: A trust is betrayed, a rebllion is had, a conquerer rises and NOTHING will ever be the same.. and yes htat’s thrown around a lot but this is one of those times where NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME. This is that kind of finale folks. 
But before I can get into all the juicy stuff you’ve been waiting for there’s a few things to discuss.. and the first is obviously the fact we had to wait three goddamn extra weeks to get here after spending all season leading up to this. 
You all know the story by now. Hell I even angirly ranted about it when it happened and rightfully so. But frankly the colossal delay is going to be such an integral and permeant part of this episode and this show’s history that not talking about it in this review would do it a diservice: So to recap: The finale was posted to air  May 1st, a weak after “The Dinner/Battle of the Bands”. I had it set in my schedule, it showed up in that month’s press release of Disney Channel Episodes, We were all ready to go with all the tight and intense build up leading up to this. 
Then the worst happened and Disney aburbtly, and with a funny face image trying to play it off as a joke annoucned via it’s animation twitter the episode would be delayed. Now in fairness to the twitter person there, they were PROBABLY trying to help massage a blow... but seriously dude, read the room next time.  Thankfully creator Matt Braly stepped in and explained it was technical delays. After what happened the next day I ASSUMED he was just trying to cover for them as it would turn out the episode was finished.. turns out, and I had to edit the review to reflect this the truth was somewhere in the middle. Edits were more discussed, likely due to the episodes very violent nature, and the episode was given a content warning. Given what happens.. I can’t blame Disney for wanting one or for thinking of editing it.. but canblamehtem for the “Things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY’ nature of the edist and the insuing delay. 
I can also blame them for leaking the episode on ITUNES. Yeah if they were REALLY concenred abotu content then they would’ve held off longer and not brought this up five minutes before it aired, delaying the episode for many. Hell I DEFENEDED them in the original version of this, but they had MONTHS of this episode being in production to fucking say something. WHy do this five mintues before it’s finished? 
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It just smacks of laziness and overly panicy stuff. A content warning would’ve been FINE. You ahve it for racisim on Disney Plus, just put one here and call it a day. You haven’t objected to the horrifying content in the series up to this point why start NOW.  And they STILL never apologized. For any of this. For the leak, for the delay, never properly explaining the delay (Matt didn’t either.. but given how twitchy comapnies can be about what their creators say, I can’t blame him for not wanting to clarify it was a post credit’s thing till closer to airtime), just in general not giving a shit abotu the kids or adults watching this. Just because kids watch thiis dosen’t me older kids don’t have social media, and it dosen’t mean teens don’t. If you want to pretend us adults watching this don’t exist.. fine. It sucks but I can’t do anything. But do not do this shit to kids and then not go to them. And again Matt could’ve.. but it’s not his fucking job. His job is to make a show, help make sure it gets to air and be a sweeheart. YOURS is to make sure things run smoothly and when their is a hickup,get your house in order. 
Matt shoudln’t of HAD to beg people not to watch it. Various va’s for the show shoudln’t of HAD to record funny messages.. it was appricated but it’s not thier job to prevent this from spreading. It’s yours. It’s yours to open your damn eyes and see adults and older teens watch this stuff too and to head that shit off. This incident is going to stick in my craw for god knows how long and ALMOST convinced me not to cover Owl House weekly (I still woud’ve likely done a review on each half of the season). I ended up renegeing on that and will be starting regular coverage of that in June and continuing coverage of this show whenever it returns.. but it was close. 
And it’s ultimately YOU GUYS that kept me hanging in there. It was thanks to a Disney show this blog exists in the first place, and contiunes to get the bulk of it’s viewers. It’s how I got my patreon, biggest fan and bfinacial backer Kev. I’ts why I can do what I love, talking about and analyzing stuff I enjoy and ocasionally loathe. You guys came back week after week for my ducktales reviews and stayed for Amphibia. I”m sure i’ll get even more for Owl House. It’s thanks to all of you I can keep going despite the hardships, the lack of patreons, the long nights, the weird sleep schedules. I wouldn’t of made it through 20 weeks of awesome tv without you. So for you, and for myself, i’ll hang in there but I expect better Disney. And i’m damn well gonna get it. So join me under the cut as the world turns upside down.. and there are a LOT of spoilers. Seriously if you want to wait for the tv airing do not go under the cut
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So we open with a flashback to 8 months ago, the day all this began: Marcy was working in the library on her cram classes, getting texts from both Sasha, who was excited about Anne’s birthday, and her own father who wants her to come home right away as there’s something important they need to discuss. 
But before she can a book about the strange and what not naturally slips out and Mar-Mar can’t help but thumb through it.. and as you were no doubt dreading.. finds the box which is said in a large tv friendly caption to lead to other worlds. 
Naturally Marcie is intrigued and snaps a pick and heads home... and we cut to the END of that conversation as she tearfully runs out of the house , refusing to accept what they’ve told her and her dad coming off hella unsympathetic with his overly harsh tone, especially since we DO find out what he told her... and it’s a lot to put on her and a lot to just say “accept because I helped make you for all of two unsatisfying minutes. “ 
So while running away she passes the box.. and sets the events from both the show’s opening and the flashback from the last finale in motion. Marcy sent them here on purpose.
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Yeah needless to say I DIDN’T see this coming. And it seems obvious in hindsight: Marcy being the one most desperate to keep thier friendship together, as we’ll see at it’s worst through this episode, her barely mentioning going home, and most tellingly the only things she talks about from earth were Anne, Sasha and her dorky intrests. All the things closest to the heart and that she’s most likely to make out with.. but while Anne brings up earth stuff every so often even after getting more screen time in Season 2b... Marcy NEVER talks about that kind of stuff. She has her girlfriends and a real life fantasy novel right here... but she DOSEN’T miss her parents or earth itself. And given her life was already shown to be as an outcast with only two people carring about her, three with her mom now we know, who never REALLY fit in and whose on friends very clearly didn’t share her intrests.. it probably made it all the more tempting: a real adventure, an escape from her problems, and a way to start over: become who she always PLAYED and not who she was. Everything just.. snaps into place with this revelation and makes Marcy an all the more heartbreaking character... even more so soon enough when we find out what her overall plan was. 
But that’s half an episode away: for now our party returns on Joe to Newtopia.. though clumsly. Marcy admits that they probably can’t fit more people on him. But with this our heroes are ready to finish this story and with a plan since obviously they can’t just walk into town with two wanted crminals: Marcy will present the box and THEN sasha and grime, who will cloak themselves to avoid attracting attentions, with literal cloaks Marcy hasn’t made a cloaking device yet, so hopefully they’ll get a pardon. 
Inside Sprig and Anne talk, with Sprig admitnig he’s sad this is the last adventure.. but Anne has hope. After all they have a way home now and that portal goes both ways. She can hop back any time and vice versa. This sin’t goodbye.. it’s just goodbye for now. And i’ts something I genuinely didn’t think of.. and not just because Andrias’ shady actions and Sasha and Grime’s machinations meant this was NEVER going to end well. 
Speaking of Sasha and Grime’s machinations those come to a head: As our heroes enter the castle, greeted by Lady Olivia, and we get our typical end of the RPG speech from the “Good” king.... Sasha swipes the box and Grime uses the hammer to knock everyone off ballance. The coup the two have been cooking up has come to pass. 
Anne and Marcy’s reactions.. are telling: Anne is utterly pissed at the betryal and done with Sasha and Marcy is begging both sides to stop as this was not how it was supposed to end. Sasha tries to use a box as a baranging chip, and plans to destroy it if Andrias dosen’t surrender despite destroying her way home. Given it’s implied her home life isn’t great either and she gets to rule an empire instead of a school, it’s easy to see why. 
Grime stops him from calling her bluff though by wacking him in the shins and then hodling him at hammer point to get the military of Newtopia to stand down while his covert Toad agents reveal themselves and runamuck. Grime has won. 
Anne meanwhile is livid, with Sasha not quite getting why MAYBE Anne would once again feel betrayed that once again Sasha is trying to do everything her way and once again lied to her and harmed innocent people. Anne breaks off their friendship which deeply uspets Marcy.. who weirldy. ISN’T trying to talk Sasha out of this. After all she gets what she wanted anyway. She IS upset when Sasha tries to send them home for defiance.. but the box dosen’t work for her and she simply has the guards escort our heroes and Olivia out till she can figure this out. 
Naturally though Anne, being pissed, heartbroken and pissed, and yes that was indeed intentional, HEADBUTTS the nearest guard and breaks them out, with the planatrs starting to fight back. Their still outnumbered.. but help arrives 
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Or rather the Amphibia equilvent as both wolverines are busy with prep for the Hellfire Gala. Yes it’s General Yunan, who Lady Olivia cuts off probably not for the first time. Your lucky that’s one of her turn on’s lady.
So our heroes sneak out and head to Sals, while the Toads wreck up the town. Marcy... is of course desperate to fix things, but figures it’s easy. All they have to do is free the king, stop the rest of the army from arriving, their an hour away, and cementing grime’s foothold, get her girlfriends to reconcile and fix the inherent power imbalance so a rebellion doesn’t’ happen again. 
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But Anne rouses them: They may be a goofus, a quick witted kid, an out of touch old man, a literal baby, am etaphorical baby, and a nerd.. but their a BADASS Goofus, kid, old man, babies and nerd... and two other ladies the toads actually know and respect. They’ve fought worse: Canibals, princess bride references, theater bandits, chicken elder gods, Poly’s addiction to angry mobs and paste pot pete and come back stronger each time. They can do this. They might only be 8 strangers, but together they can fuck up this shit. or to have a previously mentioned buddy of mine sum it up
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So with that it’s time to split up gang: Marcy, Hop Pop and Olivia will go free the king using Hop Pop’s acting skills...which actually works despite Olvia’s doubts. Polly, Yunan and Frobo will put the hammer down and give them hell, taking out the toads in the city and drawing all of them away from the gate where Spriganne will trigger it thus saving the day. 
Meanwhile Sasha is feeling discontent. She got everything she wanted.. but she didn’t think about what to DO with all that power. At home she could do all sorts of things ruling a school but now she’s lost one of the loves of her life. Without Anne and Marcy i’ts just empty. Even Grime’s utterly heartfelt gift of an emerald sword, he knew she always wanted to duel wield that has a heron on it, a sign of how they met and a truly sweet gesture can’t cheer her up. So Grime suggests redecorating and the first thing to go is a sappy mural of Andrias and his subjects. What they find UNDER it though is horrifying.. and i’ts surprisingly not a bunch of spiders like you’d expect.. but a mural of Andrius as some sort of horrible king with an army of robot frogs like Frobo, with a LOT of frog, toad and newt skeletons piled up. Sasha and Grime are glad they dodged that bullet.. only to find Anne scaling the tower with Sprig, the two naturally going to stop them.
 The two try and turn the wheel, but can’t as there’s a doorstop... one they DEFINTELY saw earlier when looking out the window of Sal’s.
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Regardless they send Polly for that.. and the rematch begins. Sasha TRIES talking to Anne.. but given she stabbed her in the back AGAIN for incredbly petty reasons, that’s not going to work and the two get one hell of a fight. Beautifully animated and rife with emotion as the two clash with Sasha DESPERATLY trying to get Anne to stop for a second and listen and Anne rightly refusing, while we watching know our hero winning will spell DOOM for this world despite her trying to do the right thing. Anna and Brenda’s acting here is just TOP notch. In any other episode this would be the best part of it.. but we’re only getting warmed up.
While they fight, we get a surprising and awesome bout I did not see coming: Sprig Vs Grime. And it gives me Spider-Man vs Kingpin vibes really: A rotund but still far more powerful opponent versus a smaller but quicker one. And that’s how even more shockingly, Sprig comes out the WINNER. While Grime has the hammer and more strength and skill... Sprig has speed and thus gets Grime to whack himself with it. Granted he can’t use the thing and comically spins around afterword.. but it proves Grime’s racist thoughts about frogs wrong and leaves Anne free to turn the wheel once she beats Sasha. The invasion is thwarted.
But naturally given the ooky spooky mural and the other hints of ominous shit like the watcher with a thousand eyes, this isn’t the end. Back at the throne room, with Sasha and Grime as prisoners Anne gives Andrias the box despite sasha begging her not to. But rather than send her home right away.. he has a history lesson for her first. And nothing good ever starts with someone delaying helping you to give a sinister history lesson let me tell you.
We find out the while truth: Amphibia was once a technological empire powered by the box, and prosperity SEEMINGLY reigned, and Andrias, much like our heroines, had two close friends, a toad and a frog. But one day they betrayed him, abandoning him and seemingly stealing the box , leaving his mechanical marvels powerless and Andrias bitter and angry. Hence the whole revenge ploy. 
In an unsurprising and invincible-esque twist, he reveals his ancestors were not explorers but CONQUERERS and he intends to finish their work, placing the box on a pedestal that turns his castle into a flying fortress glowing blue. It only gets worse from there: the castle’s awakening also activates factories around Amphibia similar to the one we saw back in “Fort in the Road” that gave us Frobo and it turns out their dark purpose.. is to create armies of unstoppable soldiers to secure his dominon.... and spread it to the other worlds. The reason he didn’t send the girls home is he figures correctly Anne and the others will try and stop him from TAKING it. 
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So yeah Anne’s reaction is very naturally...
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And despite being outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered and outplanned she plans to make an all out stand. She realizes that her own fight with Sasha only allowed something FAR WORSE to take hold. She’s not WRONG for fighting her, Sasha was being a shithead taking over and did so for flimsy and selfish reasons and she had no reason to listen to her.. but had she at least thought over giving him the box and not simply given it to him to spite her none of this would be happening. So she and the plantars get ready for round 2, with Sasha having her back this time, and Grime having Sasha’s. It’s a really sweet moment, showing Sasha has realized just how much her own greedy and controlling ambitions have cost her and that she’s brought about something far worse thorugh them, and is ready to make amends and Grime as always ready to stand by the only true family he has. 
But before the carnage can begin.. Marcy stops them... and then tearfully turns to Andrias “This wasn’t our deal!”. Andrias, now not having to play nice, dosen’t care and cruelly points out of course he did: He would’ve said whatever it took to get her to fill the box and she did it. He also hints at Marcy’s dark secret, with both girls wondering what the hell he’s on about.. but clearly starting to piece it together, with Andrias cruelly toying with Marcy to tell them before he does.. and barely gives her any time before going ahead with it anyway, knowing she’d be unable to. And with this we get the best line of the episode and Keith david’s best delivery.. and given he makes a fucking seven course meal of the entire second act, yeah that’s a high bar.
"Did it ever occur to you — Anne, Sasha — that one of you knew more than she was letting on? That one of you might've gotten you stranded in Amphibia... on purpose?"
The line itself hits like a sledgehammer. We knew for the full episode she did this on purpose.. but we also knew at some point it was clearly going to come out and hurt them both.. and to see someone Marcy clearly saw as a better replacement dad, someone she thought cared about her and was offering her her dreams for no gain on his end cruelly tell them clearly for his own amusment as he dosen’t remotely see them as a threat.. it’s utterly chilling as it is heartbreakiing and horrifying. 
Naturally Anne and Sasha are upset, Sasha a bit baffled and Anne just utterly broken by this: She’d already been betrayed TWICE by the other love of her life.. now MARCY had betrayed her.. and WORSE? 
And it only gets worse as Marcy heartbreakingly reveals her motivation and what this was really all about: Her dad announced he got a new job and they were moving a state away.. and like I said he’s a prick. Not for moving, that happens and it sucks but for having no freaking empathy about it. Maybe if he took a parenting class earth wouldn’t be on the cusp of a robot invasion. Marcy was about to loose her girls and was desperate.... so naturally Andrias claimed to simply want to take them all with him on his journeys, obviously leading out the conquest and likely genocide part, so they could go on and on FOREVER. And this whole thing gave Anne the plantars so it’s not all bad right? Right? But it’s clear she’s trying to desperatly lie to herself this was all okay as she’s been doing ever since she started this all 8 months ago and Anne pointing out she misses her family, something Marcy never considered given her own reasons for leaving and how Sasha likely dosen’t have a happy family life herself. 
This.. this is Haley Tju’s finest hour. She’s done good voice work before, especially in this series but here, with Marcy’s anguish, desperation and guilt all leaking out as she tries to get her girlfriend not to turn away from her. it’s all just amazing heartbreaking stuff and I salute her and the animation does her fine acting a service and shows every bit of pain in the poor girls face. 
Anne naturally does turn away a bit and Marcy cries.. but Anne quickly recovers... while she obviously isn’t entirely ready to forgive Marcy JUST yet, it’s clear she wasn’t thinking straight and did all of this out of desperation... and that the hulking dickbag who betrayed them all and is gloating about all of this manipulated her, preying on her desperation and anguish to finish his plan.  Marcy fucked up big time, no question.. but ANDRIAS is the true monster here, and if he’s not stopped this world she’s grown to love and the one she left behind will BURN. Anne may be many things: impulsive, kinda weird, easy to anger.. but she is over all that a HERO. And there’s a villian to stop
Andrias, while not seeing them as remotely a threat, does admit this will probably be fun and the fight begins, with our heroes, including Marcy, easily besting the Obsdian Swarm.. as i’m calling them now. It’s a cools equence.. but ultimately futile. Andrias is FAR more powerful than he’s let on with the box. And shows it off by destroying toad tower before coming at them with a fire sowrd, easily swatting them aside like flies. They try their best to fight back but it’s not much use, and Andrias NEARLY crushes polly to death under his fist. Yes a fucking child. What a dick. 
Frobo saves him... and sadly this is the end for our new friend as Andrias is mildly amused that one of his creations glitched.. then smashes him into robotic paste. Polly rightfully calls him a monster and his response is as chilling as it is wonderfully dickish: “Don’t worry, your next”. 
Thankfully though she got out of the way.. because she has LEGS now. It’s also why I keep saying 8 months, though it’s likely more like 9 given it took a month to get to newtopia: 
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The prophecy has come true! And while she stumbles for a second Polly quickly proves she can really move, she has an attitude and she’s the fastest thing alive by grabbing the box seemingly winning.. except Andrias has sprig in his fist and is going to crush or drop him ulness she stops. And despite Sprig BEGGING his sister to let him go for the sake of everyone else, like any good hero she naturally puts the box back. 
Anne begs for him to let Sprig go since he got what he wanted and he’s her best friend in this or any world... but all this does is insprie Andrias to DROP HIM OUT A WINDOW, bitter over his own past and eager to torture her some more. This really shows off who Andrias REALLY is now the mask is off; a sadistic tyrannical bully who relishes in making his victims really squirm, revels in malevolence and is just so damn gleeful about it: Not to say BIll Cipher levels more of a cold, cruel enjoyment of things. 
As I said earlier Keith David makes a motherfucking Seven Course Meal out of the second half of this episode, utterly stealing the show now he can play Andrias as he truly is: not skulng in the shadows with ominus hints he’s evil or pretending to be nice, but instead as a sadistic brute who delights in suffering and wants nothing less than everything under his boothill. in short he’s an AWESOME antagonist and while Keith David has played TREMENDOUS villains before, this one will easily be his best if the writing holds. Andrias is Keith David at his fucking best and proves the Disney legend has EVEYRTHING left in the tank even as he approaches 70′s. Jesus I fucking love this man. 
So this causes anne to retreat into herself, leaving us in a black void as Anne remembers all the good times.. and goes MOTHERFUCKING SUPER SAYIAN. Well more accurately super sayian god super sayian, or blueper sayian if you will, but still i’ts a n utterly striking sequence and a clear direct shout out with Anne getting her powers the same way Goku did: loosing someone to an utterly cruel bastard. Same with Gohan’s upgrade to super sayian 2. It’s just a truly striking sequence as she powers up in a FULL rage, DEMANDNIG he give him back. 
Andrais is stunned, clearly knowing this was something she was capable of but thought she could no longer do as the box shoudlv’e drained her of the ablility, while Hop Pop and Grime wonder if this is a human thing. 
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So Anne WAILS on the fucker, easily besting a shocked andrias despite his best attempts.. but she tires out and he swats her aside, gleefully noting she dosen’t know how to control it. Sprig turns out to be okay though. Marcy went and saved him while Anne was rippig Andrias asunder.. and then activates the box. Sasha and Grime hold him off while Anne makes a run for it with the plantars while Andrias gives out your standard villian big no. Anne and Fam make it... but Marcy is taking a sec.. and that second gets her GUTTED. Not an exageration or me being a smart ass like usual.. Andrias RAN HER THROUGH WITH HIS SWORD. 
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His only response is “Look what you made me too and Anne and crew are warped away, unable to save her. 
So we end with our heroes landing somewhere and Sprig wondering where they are... where they are is on the top of a car on a busy Los Angeles Freeway... and in front of two very weirded out humans. Anne is home. 
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So now for the part that wasn’t in the original release apparently: The teaser.. aka THE MOTHERFUCKING SEASON 3 OPENING. 
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Hell. Yes. Just a few quick personal notes before we hit the wrap up: I love how the season will be on earth, a nice change of pace, how the Boonchuy’s have very clearly warmly welcomed the plantars, the expanded cast at the title card, and how Disney just let them go ALL out for this one. They’ve clearly stopped being cheap assholes when it comes to letting intro’s change or at the very least got this was the very end of the series and thus important enough to gussie up. But yes the end is nigh.. and probably not till late this year if this year AT ALL And I will return for it. Well return to doing this show anyway, i’m not going anywhere. They’ll have to pry this blog from my cold dead hands. 
Final Thoughts:
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This episode is the series best so far. My only honest complaint is the Toad Invasion comes and goes really quickly and I question why it was crammed into half the episode. Don’t get me wrong, Andrias’ rise needed the full 10 minutes, but I question why we dind’t get an episode before this settingit up and THEN have it happen over half an episode, epsecially since we spent an entire episode on getting the other toad barons involved only for ONE of them to show up for all of five minutes. 
Otherwise though? Yeah no notes. The cast is at the top of their damn game, with Brenda Song, Hailey Tju and Keith Motherfucking David as the standouts, the animatoin is likewise, and it pays off a thing or two you wouldn’t expect like the acting episode. This is a truly outstanding finale, one that has now joined other all time faviorite season finales such as “You’re In Control”, “Reunited”, “The Crossroads of Destiny”, and “Moonvasion”. I will be watching this again when it comes to Disney Plus. Masterful stuff.
As for the season as a whole.. this was a great season. While it did start a bit rocky with the road trip arc, which I’m still not a huge fan of as I feel it mostly wasted an awesome idea of them going on a world spanning roadtrip with some fairly weak episodes, with the exception of standouts “Truckstop Polly” and “Wax Museum”. 
But once we got to Netwopia it got better, with better spotlight episodes, the pacing picking up and Marcy joining our merry crew. And it hit it’s peak with the second half of the season: the return to wartwood effortlessly combined slice of life with the compelling temple episodes. It was also a nice break before the utter hell that arrived in the finale, but still nicely lead up to said finale.  This season may of STARTED bumpy but it finished at it’s highest point and with one epic finale to go it’s only going to get better from here. 
As for this blog the same holds true: Review wise next week i’ll be taking a break from normal reviews to do a week’s worth of Goofy based content in time for his birthday, from shorts, to goof troop, to hosue of mouse, to an obscure special, all leading up to the Disney Classic A Goofy Movie. So stick around.
And if that dosen’t do it for you I have an ongoing retrospective on the story arcs of ducktales season 2, i’m nearing the end of one on Scott Pilgrim and in the middle of one of The Life and Times of Scrogoe McDuck. and if you prefer weekly reviews, as I mentioned earlier offhandidly i’ll be covering the Owl House! LIke Amphibia i’m starting with Season 2, but just like with this show i’m excited as all hell and hope you’ll join me. And if you need even more I have a patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, where I have exclusive reviews if you choose to back me as well as exciting stretch goals, one of which down the line is reviewing season one of this very show. So join it and if not that’s okay too, either way.. it’s been a pleasure. 
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Marinette had seen a lot of things. Marinette had done a lot of things. None of those things could have prepared her for this.
"Mama?" Marinette asked as she looked at her birth certificate, her real one. It has the names her mama's, her papa's, and a third persons "You were in danger. we all were. There was a war. It ended just this year. It is up too you but he wants to meet you." Sabine struggle to figure out how to explain. "How is this even possible? Is papa actually my dad or is this person" Marinette says still looking at the paper. "Both are. This is going to sound crazy. It was magic. There is a long process for the heir to find their mate or mates. We are not exactly sure what that is. Only the heir knows. We were not natives eather so we really couldn't know that family secret." Sabine explains.
Marinette was at least relieved that her parents were infact her parents. Magic was involved though. She is going to have a talk with the kwamis. "So I have a third parent that happens to be from a very important family in a foreign land. Said parent wants to meet me and left a present for my 17 birthday should I not get too meet them before then. And my 17 birthday is in three weeks" Marinette would normally have a panic attack now but honestly the current need to absorb as much information as possible was preventing that.
Sabine hesitated "Yes. Your papa is meeting with him right now since he had to come to Paris for a last minute meeting. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I understand why before ladybug and Chat that would sound pretty unbelievable and it was to protect me. Just overwhelmed" Marinette saying looking at her mama.
"I'll give you some space. Just call if you need me" Sabine is worried. She greatly missed him but any contact would have put Marinette in danger. Marinette came first before anything else they all agree to that. She really hopes Marinette will take everything well.
Marinette sighed "Tikki do you know anything about this?" The tiny god comes out of her hiding spot "Yes. I do. I did not realize you are the heir. It has to do with before the Miraculouses were created. A mortal who kept up our temples was rewarded and the reward was passed down from generation to generation." Tikki explained "the gift is to find our mate or mates?" Marinette responds. "Yes but not all mates have to be romantic. There are some platonic and some enemies. Some people don't have any." Tikki explains hesitantly "you would have gained the ability to see it as guardian eventually. It may help with your training."
The next day Marinette goes to school as usual. That day Miss. Bustier gives a presentation on how a 17 year war had just ended between two very important nations. She also explains how many children were sent away for protection including the princess of the winning nation. An old and powerful nation. It did explain some of the stuff her mama didn't have time too. Lila imminently took to telling stories about actually being on of the children and how she secretly visited her father. Marinette simply rolls her eyes. Her classmates pushed her away little by little. Sure she was sad but it gave her the chance to reevaluate her choices in heros and get more commissions done.
Sure enough by lunch the Ladyblog had a story about Ladybug's best friend being of of the children sent away for protection. Lila made sure she was the center of attention as always.
Marinette was pretty good at ignoring Lila by this point. And she did just fine for two weeks but it's pretty hard to miss people whispering princesse and pointing at Lila. Apparently the Kings refused to tell anyone who the princess is deciding a normal childhood was best for her. So Lila decided to claim it.
People in the class were treating Lila like a princess while glaring at anyone who didn't. The rest of the school seemed to ignore it much like Marinette wanted too. Today was the day she is meeting her father so she couldn't let this get too her.
Anything Lila claimed they believed so now they believed Marinette bullied Lila, soon to be Queen. Them ignoring her turned to them defending the princesse. Some like Juleka and Nino were ignoring the situation or unaware of it. The class would randomly mention something Marinette "did" to their princess. A few times she was tripped. Marinette could see Lila's smirk too bad the rest of the class didn't.
When it was finally time to leave Marinette was confronted by Lila and her sheep just beside the stairs. Marinette tried to show know emotion but when people are yelling false accusations and yelling about how they wish they were never your friends it hurts. Then suddenly Alya said "hey Lila didn't she push you down the stairs yesterday." Lila came closer as Alya said "an eye for an eye" Marinette processed the fact both of them had pushed her. Marinette also processed the screams of horror from other students. She faintly remembers Alya proclaiming protection of Lila. But Marinette never processed the pain.
The next day Marinette wakes up in a hospital. "Think God. Sabine! Tom! She's awake" an unfamiliar woman in a suit yells. Her parents rush in to hug her. "We just went out to talk to the doctors." Sabine explains and moves to give the girl a box of pastries. A doctor comes in "Miss. Marinette Dupain-Cheng what's the past thing you remember?"
Marinette sits up. "I was pushed. I remember screams." The doctor nods "You were knocked out from the fall but seem to have only some heavy bruising. You will have to give a statement given the severity of the action taken against you."
After the doctors left and she had given her statement and prevented everyone in the room from being akumatized, Marinette is left a lone to rest. Except the women in the suit. Marinette begins to panic because she needs to check on Tikki. "Miss? I am your bodyguard. My name is Wellstone. Your kwami is alright. She is resting with an energy Stone in your purse. No your parents do not know. I only know because she needed the stone and I had it." The woman explains to the now panicking teen "I am also partly magical. Your father hired me because of that. He sent me here as soon as he realized there was a threat. He didn't know if you would be comfortable seeing him yet."
Marinette took a minute to calm down. She remembers Tikki explaining energy stones. They were used to worship gods away from temples and kwamis can use them to regain energy if they are charged. "Was she hurt?" Marinette could forgive herself if Tikki was hurt because of her. "No she did heal you some though." Miss Wellstone explains. "You are magical?" Marinette asks. "Yes I can sense energy stones and identify if something is magical."
This could be useful in finding hawkmoth. Tikki choose to come out at that moment to hand the stone back and then check over Marinette.
*the day before not long after the confrontation*
Alya and Lila were both arrested. They are allowed visitors but not allowed to leave witch they are both having a fit about. Everyone had given statements and the police were stressed enough with one girl claiming to be the daughter of a imbasiter and a King. It most definitely did not help when it was revealed to them that the girl they attacked was actually the princesses and this was definitely an international issue. The parents had yet to make it to see their daughters given that they had to have the situation explained to them and it did not look good. Apparently the Lila girl had lied a lot and convinced the other girl, Alya too post everything she lied about on her formerly highly credible blog. Now Miss. Rossi, Marlena Césaire, and Otis Césaire are being warned of possible defamation cases against their daughters. A team is going over the security footage of the school to see if any of the claims against one Marinette Dupain-Cheng is true. Though all that has been found is Lila threading Marinette and trying to frame her for things. Only one person came in other than the families. A boy Named Nino came to see or rather end things with Alya Césaire.
"ALYA SHUT UP" the boy bellowed. "How the hell could Lila have walked away without a scratch from being pushed down the stairs?"
Alya simply said "good luck from ladybug duh"
"Even if that was possible. It wouldn't have been an eye for an eye. Marinette could die. That is attempted murder." The boy us trying to get her to understand
"She did it first."
"No Alya she didn't. I'm done. Alya did you even look at Marinette? You never talked to me about these outlandish claims. Lila never made or said any of these things around me. Don't you think that's suspicious? You can not just play with someone's life. Even if she did what Lila said. You should have turned her in not took revenge that could kill her."
"But Lila is a princess-"
"No she isn't and if she was she would have just caused an international problem. I'm done Alya goodbye"
The girl was unstoped by this. Loudly proclaming he would be back when she was proven right.
Eventually the parents got to see their kids. Miss. Rossi looked down at her child. "Why did you go after her?" Lila started to cry "she was so horrible mom-" Miss Rossi slammed her hands on the table "cut the crap. WHY DID YOU GO AFTER HER" Lila shrunk back "she didn't believe you did she? That's it. You attacked her because she wouldn't let you live this fantasy life created through lies. In pretending to be a princess and connected to all these celebrities you attacked an actual princesses whose actually connected to celebrities you lied about. You caused an international problem and have had your diplomatic immunity revoked. And more and more just keeps coming to light. I brought you here to get away from your father not become him." Miss Rossi left the room a minutes later. Lila continuously mutters they were harmless lies.
Alya's parents try to explain the situation but she won't listen to them. Anything they say Alya says not to listen to Marinette's lies. Alyas mom finally snaps "we haven't see Marinette. We haven't heard anything other than she was knocked out from the fall. For all we know she could be dead. Everything we are telling you came from Lila's mom, the police, or the Kings personal lawyer. Marinette is the princesses. You did not protect a princesses you nearly if not killed on." They left but Alya still looked unconvinced.
*back to present*
"Your father said he could meet for lunch if you would like." Miss Wellstone states guiding the girl to the car with her parents. "Yes that would be nice After everything I would like something other than hospital food." Marinette say. Wellstone giggles.
Marinette wasn't surprised by the expensive restaurant. She was surprised by the extra security. "Hi" she she said nervously. "It's a pleasure to finally get to see you. I'm sorry about everything." He states sitting across from her. "It was for my safety so I understand" kwami knows the amount of things she did for others safety.
"Yes but I should have sent a body hard at the very least. You are royalty and you could have died" He explains. "I'm what now?" Marinette explains before even realizing it. He shifts uncomfortably "I thought someone would have told you since you were attacked. I'm the king. You are the princess."
Marinette nods in the I know what you are saying and I understand but it will be a while before reality hits way. "The gift from the kwamis?" Marinette eventually asks. "Yes. Just pit the necklace on on your birthday and you'll be able to see your soulmate color. It's different for each of us."
Unknown to them someone had gotten a picture of them. As the day went on several questions were answered. Like Marinette is not required to take the thrown.
Marinette returns to school the next week with a necklace with a key on it. She is also accompanied by Miss. Wellstone. Many people in her class try to apologize but are blocked by Miss Wellstone. Marinette is not ready to talk to anyone she says repeatedly. Nino walls up and Miss Wellstone is about to enterup "chill not here to talk. Just gonna had you this and be on my way." He hands her two boxes and a card. Birthday presents from him and Juleka. Before opening then she takes a look at the two. Both Nino and Juleka are family. Miss Wellstone looks at Marinette who simply nods. Opening the boxes she finds new sketchbooks and other drawing supplies. The card is an apology, a happy birthday and their new numbers. They changed them while she was out. Adrian does end up talking to her at lunch. He tries to get her to have her father drop the charges. "Adrien I could have died." Marinette snaps. "But you didn't so there's no reason to ruin their lives" Adrien said. "Adrien even if I was to drop the charges. It is still international. They are still facing decimation lawsuits." Marinette tried to explain. "Couldn't you-" Adrien starts. "What? Beg people not to sue? Do you honestly still not see the damage she caused?" Marinette tries to hold her voice even. Adrien just looks at her "Fine I'll show you."
Marinette stood up and shouts "Adrien knew she was lieing the entire time because ladybug called her out when she tried to lie to him about being a hero. He just tried to guilt me into dropping the charges. He also kept telling me while she was bullying me to take the high road." Adrien looks at her helplessly as classmates begin talking loudly and she walks away leaving him to face the music.
Marinette looks down suddenly realizing she has gained a peace of jewelry. She ducks into an empty classroom. "Hello plag. Do you have someone you would like to go too?" Marinette asks. "Kagami seems good" Marinette nods before suiting up to give Kagami the ring. As it turns out Kagami is family as will. Chloe is family. Luka has the potential to be a mate. Apparently mates aren't set in stone soulmate bounds can change over time. Jagged and Penny are family. Lila is an enemy and shockingly Gabriel Agrest is an enemy.
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t-lostinworlds · 4 years
Text
Extra (Tom Holland)
A/N: What is this? I have finished something? Me?? posting?? A FIC? WHAT? Is the world actually ending!?!? I think I’m funny but I’m not, clearly. Glad to be out of my writing rot tho aha. Hope you guys like this one!
Pairing: Tom Holland x Singer!Reader
Summary: You get a sweet but very extra surprise on your birthday nearing the end of your show.
Warnings: Fluff and my usual typos
Word Count: 5.5k+
Masterlist in Bio
-:-:-:-:-
The sound of your phone just going off uncontrollably was what woke you up, and you were completely sure that it wasn't your alarm.
You squint your eyes at the bright glare of the screen, a huge contrast to your still dim hotel room. You literally had just woken up hence why the curtains aren't open yet, it's still a bit too early after all.
Flicking the ringer on silent, birthday greetings and messages from friends and families were still flooding through, your phone now vibrating instead of your loud ringtone, giving your ears a break.
As you read through and responded to all of them, you couldn't help but feel a little down after you realized you haven't seen his name yet.
Of course you feel grateful for all the sweet messages everyone has sent you, your heart is melting from all the love. But there's that slight disheartened feeling that you can't seem to shake, slight worry that your boyfriend might have forgotten about your birthday.
You haven't heard from Tom since yesterday morning, which now makes it almost a full day. After he texted you that he was going to be doing a lot of stunts and is probably going to be super busy, he then just disappeared, not even slipping in a text good night. You did let it pass though, because he might have been quite knackered after the shoot.
Message to Tom: Good morning bub <3 Just checking up on you since you haven't read or replied to any of my messages at all. Hope you're okay and haven't injured yourself Thomas. I really miss you a lot and I love you loads x
Your frown could only deepen as you hit send, still no response nor any sign that he's got your messages whatsoever.
Normally, it wouldn't really be a big deal but the last you've seen him in person was three months ago. He was busy shooting the third installment of Spider-Man all while doing a few projects on the side. And you, well, you're touring around the world.
You could be patient and blame it on the time difference why he hasn't greeted yet, but he's just behind a couple hours. Tom has made it a habit of always greeting you at midnight no matter what and where, he's just cliché like that, and it was definitely passed midnight in New York.
God, you sound so much like a whiny and ungrateful brat, but you can't help it, you just miss him so much.
Maybe you've gotten so used to always spending your birthdays with him so the first time that you're celebrating it from different parts of the globe, it does makes you sad.
You did try to make ends meet, but a week before today, he's brought you the news that he can't fly out due to conflicting schedules with some of the actors he's working with, and that it's critical that he's there on the day. To be the leading role of a gigantic movie, asking a few days off is never that simple.
On the other hand, you have a show today and tomorrow, so flying to him isn't exactly ideal either. You understand of course, you are sort of in the same line of work, but still, it doesn't make you feel any less gloomy.
With one big stretch, you placed your phone back on your side table as you slowly got out of bed, opting to go and take a shower to then head down and meet the crew for breakfast.
Maybe you'll hear from him later in the day.
* * *
It was late in the afternoon and still not a single word from Tom.
You were growing worried because it was so unlike him to be very cut off and silent.
Did he lose his phone?
You tried to contact Harry—who's with Tom currently—but he too wasn't responding. Everything was just off and odd altogether, the tiny pit in your stomach only growing bigger the more you worry and think about where your man is.
"Have you heard from Tom?" You asked with furrowed brows the moment Molly, your manager approached you on stage. Your hand found its way to fish your phone out of your pocket to check it for the umpteenth time, but still, no sign of him.
You were finishing up your final soundcheck before you were off to a mini get-together—snacks and drinks included—with some of your fans. It was your alternative to a meet and greet because you'd rather hang out and have real conversations with them than the whole quick snap and go.
She shook her head at you all confused, a slight glimmer in her eyes that you didn't quite catch. "Uh no, why?"
You sighed. Tom doesn't really contact your manager unless its important matters, so you don't even know why you're asking, maybe you've just grown desperate to hear even the smallest thing from him, just anything. "Never mind. Is it time?"
"Yeah, they're all waiting for you."
You simply nodded as you followed her off stage, handing the guitar over to your guy on the way.
Walking through the hallway, you kept your head down, eyes glued to your phone as you respond to more messages from people, but also checking if Tom has come back from ghost town.
You were aimlessly following Molly to wherever room or space they set up the get-together in, just watching her shoes and never looking up from your device. That, until you heard a few shuffling of rushed feet and a door being slammed shut.
"What was that? And what's in here?" You asked, eyes now trained on a door of what looks like another dressing room. Molly continued walking, so you kept following but with your gaze still glued to the door, curios as to what's going on inside because you definitely can hear a bit of ruckus.
"Oh just the staff, that's one of their rooms." She answered casually, not even bothering to give you or the room a glance.
"Is it weird if I just go inside and say thank you? Would that be too... intrusive?" You pondered, halting in your tracks as you contemplated on knocking. You just wanted to extend your gratitude for all their hard work, but you aren't sure if they were comfortable with you suddenly just strolling in.
"It's not weird at all hun, but you've got a schedule." She smiled at you sweetly, nodding her head towards the direction of the get-together.
"Oh right, yeah, let's go."
You gave the door one last look before turning on your heel to follow Molly once again, up until you reached another space covered in curtains. And the moment your bodyguard pulled it open, wide smiles on faces greeted you as they all sang in tune.
"Happy birthday to you!"
You laughed as you shyly shook your head at them. Warmth coated your whole body in an instant as love and pure adoration radiated off of the space, off of your fans.
You did as much as wave your fingers in the air as they sang, serving as a conductor because for the number of years you've been on this earth, you still have no idea what to do when people sing the birthday song to you.
* * *
"I can't thank you guys enough for being here with me tonight. You guys have been so incredible, you always are." You breathed out as your voice echoed throughout the whole arena. You looked at the thousands of people who came tonight to see you perform with a proud grin, their energy never wavering as they sing your songs back to you from each melody to lyric.
Adrenaline was pumping through your veins as you tried to catch your breath, taking the water bottle off of the floor and lifting it up to your lips to have a quick drink.
"Now, give me everything you've got for this last song alright?" You spoke into the mic once you've rehydrated.
"Wait, wait. Don't you guys agree that Y/N is killing it tonight?" Your pianist, Sara, interrupts, the crowd cheering in agreement at her input. "And judging by today's occasion, I think we all owe her a little song." She added, earning a hearty laugh from you as you brought the mic back to your lips.
"You guys don't have to—"
"Happy birthday to you!"
The song was played no matter your protest, Sara leading the crowd as she plays the tune on her keys, the rest of the band following suit.
Your laugh bounced off the walls as you stood there in complete awe. It was a beautiful sight to see, the crowd all singing in unison, lights up in the air as they pour all their heart to the simple yet special song. The song still filling you up with joy and warmth despite having heard it countless of times for the whole day, and the fact that all these people were there for you? It was definitely the icing on the cake.
"Thank you so much you lovely people, y'all are making me emotional. And they say the best way to spend your birthdays is with the people you love and the ones who love you, and they were absolutely right. I'm so blessed to have you guys tonight, because I do love you all very much." You stated fondly the moment they finished with a loud cheer, a hand placed right atop your heart as you feel it grow ten times its size.
"Y/N, we've got another something for you." Sara spoke before you could even get another word out, hand gesturing towards the large screen right behind you.
"Oh god, is this mission make Y/N ugly cry today?" You laughed, turning around just in time too see the tour artwork turning pitch black to then be replaced by a huge countdown.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
The crowd roared in delight as Mr. Niall Horan joined with Lewis Capaldi appeared on screen, large pints of Guinness on hand with their arms around each other as they give you their birthday greeting.
"Happy birthday Y/N! But since we're halfway across the world, we'll be there with you in spirit. Also, Lewis and I decided to celebrate anyway so cheers to you and have an amazing day." Niall chuckled as he lifted his beer up. "I'll make sure to have a good drink for you Y/N! We miss ya and we love ya!" Lewis added with a cheeky grin, and you couldn't help but shake your head at the two with a big smile of your own.
You've worked with them both on a few songs, and both were the funniest yet sweetest gentlemen you've met in the industry, especially when you put the two together.
Both of them emptied their glasses as they bid their goodbyes, Niall's loud laugh echoing throughout the arena when Lewis spilled before they disappeared on screen.
The crowd went even louder once Shawn Mendes' pretty face appeared on it next, sporting his usual bright smile as he gave you his short but sweet greeting. "Happy birthday Y/N! Wishing you all the best in life since you deserve all of it! Can't wait to work with you again soon! Have fun on your birthday honey!"
You shook your head in disbelief. An amused smile was plastered on your face, still unable to fathom that a few years ago you were a huge fan of him. And now you can say you've worked with him, even call him a friend. Funny, how the universe works.
Alessia Cara came up next with a smile, wide and bright, you're heart melting to see one of your greatest and closest friends. She's just a pure and kindhearted soul, a rare beauty. "Hey there you lovely and amazing woman! Happy birthday! I miss hanging out with you a lot but I shall see you soon! Keep conquering the world Y/N! I am so proud of how far you've come and you deserve every bit of success that comes your way. Again happy birthday! Have an amazing one and I love you!" She blew you a sweet kiss and waved you goodbye, tears already brimming in your eyes at all the love and appreciation thrown your way.
Next were Zendaya and Jacob Batalon, who you've grown close with through no other person than Tom. Both were clearly on set sitting on directors' chair in their characters' outfits. Both looked a little tired but they still greeted you with wide smiles nonetheless.
"Happy birthday Y/N!" They screamed in unison. "We wished we could be there with you to celebrate your birthday but you already know how these things go." Z pouted, Jacob copying her as well and you couldn't help but giggle. "But soon when we get a break we will catch up and celebrate your birthday." Jacob added with a knowing grin. "Anyway! Duty calls so enjoy your birthday and have great one! We love you!"
Then friends and family came up on screen, ones who you've missed most having been away from them for so long and that's when you felt your heart ache a little. Happy tears were brimming in your eyes as each of them shared their lovely messages, saying how proud they are for how far you've come. And when those words come from the people who you truly care about, it means the absolute world.
The next person to share their video message didn't help with the tears either, a hushed sob escaping your lips the moment you saw his familiar face.
The crowd behind you screamed at the top of their lungs the moment Thomas Stanley Holland appeared on screen, handsome face sporting that sweet and charming smile as he sat in his trailer wearing his Spider-Man suit.
"Hello darling. My love, I'm so gutted that I'm not there so celebrate your birthday with you. If I could teleport myself by your side right now, I would in a heartbeat, but anyway, happy birthday sweetheart!" Tom exclaimed joyfully, grin all beaming and you couldn't help but miss him even more.
"Oh, where do I start? Well, I can start by saying how proud I am of you, so so proud of the gorgeous, powerful, strong and successful woman that you've grown to become. You've worked so hard to get where you are today and it fills me with so much happiness knowing that you're out there traveling the world and doing what you love the most." The crowd cooed at Tom's sweet words, your heart was already melting at the seams as more tears threaten to spill, and he wasn't even done yet.
"You deserve the whole world if not more with how kindhearted and compassionate you are. And gosh you make me feel so happy and loved. I feel so lucky to have someone like you in my life, I can't even begin to describe to you exactly how much, and if I tried? Then we'd be here for hours on end. And lastly—because I'm being called to set right now, if I wasn't I'd be talking about how amazing you are some more—I am truly, madly and deeply in love with you Y/N. You are my world and I hope I make you feel loved every single day, because you truly deserved to be."
"Tom they're waiting for you."
"Yeah, just one more minute." Tom calls out to someone off shot before his eyes landed back on the camera, staring straight at you through the screen with a guilty smile. Guilty because it pains him that he's not there with you. "I love you dearly, and I miss you so much. I'll make it up to you I promise. Once again, happy birthday to my beautiful girl and I shall see you soo—"
All of a sudden the screen went static, Tom's words being cut off as you heard nothing but white noise. Then everything just went black, the whole arena dark as the night as gasps of surprise and screams of panic echoed throughout its walls.
Tell everyone to stay calm Y/N, we're fixing things up.
Your sound guy spoke in your in-ear. You nodded despite the fact that they probably can't see you due to the darkness. Turning back around to the audience, you spoke into the mic. "I'm sorry guys, just technical difficulties. Just stay in your seats in be calm, the lights should be back on in a minute."
And as if on cue, the crowd screamed as the power turned back on. However, after a few seconds, they turned unusually rowdy, too rowdy for it to be only that reason. Slowly you got the feeling it wasn't only because of that, judging by the volume and power of their cheer, and by a few fans pointing at the stage as if they're seeing something you aren't.
For a split second, you met eyes with Molly who was right by the side of the stage. She had that all-knowing grin on her face as she pointed towards something behind you.
Confused, you turned around, jumping in sheer shock when you were met by a hanging, upside-down person dressed in a red and black Lycra suit, face all covered with a mask making the identity of the person pretty much unknown.
Your heart beat quickened as you stumbled back on your feet at the sight of the person, your brain registering it back to a specific boy—one who you saw on screen minutes ago wearing the exact same outfit—even if there was no confirmation as their face wasn't even shown. Your whole body was trembling from surprise, excitement but also worry that it might not be who you think it is under that mask.
Emotions were all over the place as you stared right at upside-down, masked-face of Spider-Man who held a birthday cupcake in hand.
"No, no, stop, please, is this a prank?" You croaked out, shaking your head as tears started to escape your eyes, question a must because you're having a really hard time believing what you're seeing.
It's been a long day, you just really wanted to make sure that what's happening is real and not just a figment of your imagination. You had to make sure that it wasn't the desperation of you missing your boyfriend painting pictures in your head. Not only that, but to really be sure that it's actually him under that mask.
"Guys! Don't even play! Please don't get my hopes up. That's a stunt double right?" You asked into the mic as you looked at your band and the rest of the crew for answers, who gave you nothing but wide smiles. You just feel like it would be too good to be true, and you really don't want to face disappointment if it wasn't him.
On the other hand, out of all the things they could have done to prank you, why would they choose this? It's a bit cruel to prank someone on their birthday now doesn't it? Especially when it involves playing with their emotions?
Unless, it's not a prank at all and you're getting way too ahead of yourself.
Mr. Spider-Man beckons you over, finger pointing at your hand to which you held the mic. With tears already clouding your vision, you moved closer slowly.
Reaching a close enough proximity, you had one hand over your mouth to silence your whimpers as the other lifted the microphone up to where Spider-Man's mouth is supposed to be. And the moment he spoke, you've lost any sense of control over your emotions or your sanity, his voice just too familiar for it to be someone else's.
"Why don't you take off the mask and find out yourself darling?"
You shook your head at the upside down boy as joyful tears streamed down your face, shaking hands lifting up to hook your fingers on the edge of the mask, pulling it down and removing it fully to reveal the face of the man you love.
"You sneaky bastard." You laughed tearfully, Tom only grinning at you all proud, his face now turning redder as the seconds pass by, being upside-down and all.
"Happy birthday sweetheart." He chuckled, offering you the cupcake, which you took gladly, balancing it with the mic on your hand. You were unable to form any more words as you stared at Tom, still unable to believe that it's actually him, and that he's here, in the flesh.
The crowd started to chant the word "kiss" over and over, making you throw your head back in pure laughter.
"We should do the kiss." Tom wriggled his eyes brows at you, mischievous smirk in play and you couldn't stop your eyes from rolling at your boy. But still, you gave in anyway as you cupped his face softly, your heart skipping a beat at the feeling of his warm skin against your palm.
You brushed the tip of your nose with his with a hum, moving closer until there was no space between you two as you captured his lips in yours, all while trying to manage the whole upside-down situation.
Tom sighed in pure satisfaction to finally feel your lips on his after months of being deprived from it, your touch making him feel like he's floating, which says a lot given the fact that he was already hanging mid-air all while being upside-down.
The kiss didn't last long though, too many prying for you two to cherish the moment. The crowd, on the other hand, cheered in amusement at the extremely cliché but sweet gesture, you and Tom giggling between the kiss at the loud support.
"Okay, I'm actually getting dizzy now." Tom laughed once you pulled away, hand gesturing for you to move just a little bit farther, and when you did, he flipped himself right-side-up with ease. A few guys then rushed on stage to help him with the wires, and once they were off, Tom turned to you with a sweet smile, face coated with wholesome contentment to finally see you in person again.
"You're actually here." You whimpered, fresh tears wetting your cheeks some more once he stood right in front of you.
"Aww darling, come here." Tom cooed with a soft chuckle, arms wrapping around your frame as he held you close to his chest, pressing a sweet kiss on top of your head. You couldn't contain your sobs as you buried your face on the crook of his neck, the smell of his perfume filling you up quickly and it only made your grip around him tighten.
You just miss him so damn much, and to actually have him here on your birthday, to be holding him so close after months, it was making every fiber of your being emotional.
"I haven't missed your birthday, not a single one, ever. Why would I start now?" He whispered against your hair, swaying you from side to side in a comforting manner, a soft sigh coming out of you as you felt your heart grow with even more love for this man.
"I still haven't decided if I hate you or love you for doing this." You giggled with tiny sniffles, pulling away to get a proper look at his handsome face, the face that you'll always be glad to see. Hate because he almost gave you a heart attack and for making you worry about him for being gone for a day, and love because, well, he's here now isn't he?
Tom only shot you a wink. "I'll tell you all about it later." He says, hand reaching down to take the microphone from you.
"Hey everyone, I'm Spider-Man." The crowd roared at that, Tom laughing in pure glee, all proud of his choice of words as he slings his arm over your shoulder and pulled you to his side. "I just want to thank you guys for supporting this amazing woman right here. I've been watching the show from the very start and you guys have been incredible."
Tom turned to look at you lovingly, smile coated with delight and adoration, voice layered with nothing but certainty. "I love this woman a lot, so thank you for making her dreams come true and for making her happy."
With just that, you were able to conjure even more tears as you looked at Tom all adoringly with a small pout. The boy stared at you with just as much love, cooing at your reaction as he gave you a soft kiss on the forehead.
How have you managed to get so lucky?
"Right, I'm done crashing your show so take it away my love." Tom finished as he handed the microphone back to you. Giving you one last warm squeeze and a peck on the lips to match, Tom was then waving goodbye to the audience and disappearing side-stage to watch the rest of the show.
Taking in deep long breaths, you turned to the audience with a laugh. "Okay, wow. Mission Ugly Cry is a success then. I haven't see him in months okay I couldn't help the tears."
"I wasn't expecting that at all as you can probably tell by my reaction. How am I supposed to top that now?" You rubbed your temple in feign worry, the audience cheering you in mere support.
You were still sniffling from all the crying along with your throat being little dry. And you were thankful for waterproof mascara otherwise you would've looked even more horrifying.
"God I'm such a mess, can I have some tissues please?" You asked, looking around the crew for help as you attempted to wipe off the tears with your fingers.
Instead of the staff, Tom ran back out with a box of tissues and a bottle of water in hand, making you shake your head in utter hilarity at how corny he is. You couldn't hold back your laughter when he handed you the box of tissues, pulled a couple pieces and held his fingers under your chin as he wiped your tears for you, all gingerly as if he was retouching your make up. After that, he opened up the water bottle to help you drink, then fixed your hair up jokingly and squeezed your nose playfully right after.
Once he was done with, he gave you a chaste kiss on the cheek, waving one last time at the crowd before returning back to side-stage.
"My new assistant everyone." You joked, keeping your eyes on your boyfriend with a grin you can't seem to wipe off. Tom mirrored your expression as he gave you two thumbs up in support for the last song, and with that you turned back to the crowd with a deep, satisfied sigh.
"Right, let's go out on a high note."
* * *
"Absolutely killed it." Tom praised, engulfing you in a warm embrace the moment you got off stage, a soft thank you coming out of you as you squeezed him back.
On your way back to your dressing room, You kept each other close, his arm slung over your shoulder with yours around his waist as you walked through the hallway.
"I'm not leaving your side by the way. I missed you too damn much and I'm not going to waste any second by being a little far from you." Tom shot you his best puppy dog eyes combined with a cute pout, a sweet giggle escaping your lips that made Tom's heart melt ten times over. "Well, I'm not complaining."
It wasn't that long of a walk from the stage to your dressing room but you had time to kill, so you turned to look at your man with a curios glint in your eyes.
"Tell me how you've managed to pull off this extremely over-the-top surprise? I mean, you could've just showed up in my dressing room and I would've cried just as much." You pointed out. Not that you didn't like what he did, you loved what just happened, every second of it, but you cannot deny that what he did was as extra and cliché as one can be.
Tom shrugged with a chuckle, "I know. But I wanted it to be special, you deserve nothing but. And you've got to admit, dangling upside-down in the middle of the stage during your show, all while dressed as Spider-Man is pretty impressive. Plus, we did the kiss. I'd say it's an amazing birthday surprise."
"It is amazing. I just happen to forget how extra you are sometimes." You teased. "I am, but you love me for it." Tom retorted back with a smirk, causing you to roll your eyes with soft laugh.
"Yeah, I do. Thank you so much bub, you always make my birthdays memorable." You sighed, wrapping both your arms around him with a smile full of gratitude. Tom planted another kiss on your forehead, a bright smile on his lips to match yours as he hummed. "Anything for my angel."
"Now, details Holland."
"Right, managed to pull some strings a a week ago and was able to ask few days off, so the whole conflicting schedule wasn't entirely a lie but it wasn't as serious as I made it out to be. Flew out last night right after the shoot. I couldn't handle just lying to you which is why I didn't respond to any of your messages in case I slip up. I'm sorry about that love."
"And then out of nowhere I thought how awesome it would be to pop up as Spider-Man in the middle of your show and do the famous kiss, so I asked Marvel a favor and thank goodness they let me borrow the suit. Called Molly to tell her about my plan, she helped quite a lot. Arrived here earlier this morning, did a test run with the wires and all that while you were still back at the hotel. Changed into the suit to then wait for the time. Oh! And if you actually looked up from your phone earlier down the hall on your way to your get-together, the whole surprise would've been ruined."
You gasped as you smacked his chest lightly. "That was you! I knew something was up." You felt really played, knowing you could've seen him if you did as much as peek up from your phone. But then again, it would've ruined the whole thing, and you really don't want to change anything that has happened today, so you're glad you didn't.
Tom could only laugh at your reaction, giving your pout a sweet peck before continuing. "The video messages were planned a long, long time ago but we made a few edits at the end of my bit to make it dramatic and here we are now."
And just as he said those last words, both of you now stood in front of the door of your dressing room. If there's one thing you always tend to be surprised about Tom, it's his impeccable timing.
"You are something else Thomas." You gushed, referring to today's escapade and just in general. You really are so lucky to have someone like him in your life, so thoughtful, caring, kind and just all around amazing.
You don't really know what came over you but the moment he opened the door to your dressing room and are your way inside, just knowing that you two were finally alone, you grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him down, crashing your lips on his as you pushed him back against the door, closing it shut in the process.
Tom chuckled lowly at the sudden change in mood, hands taking home on your waist as he relished the taste of your lips, one he's missed so bad.
The thick fabric of his suit was starting to irritate him for he just wants to feel your skin on his fingertips, especially after so long of not having to touch you. It got on Tom's nerves even more when he felt it grow even tighter than it already is.
And when you started to nibble on his bottom lip as your hands inched down his body slowly, Tom groaned, pushing you away gently, just for a little room to breathe. "Darling, it's very uncomfortable, borderline painful when I get hard in this suit, you know that." He grumbled, brown eyes a shade darker as his grip on your waist tightened.
You giggled, recalling all the times you've teased him whenever you came to visit him on set. "Hmm, let's get you out of it and go back to the hotel then."
Tom's bottom lip got caught between his teeth at your suggestion, your insides churning as he looked at you lustfully, a deep rumble erupting from his chest when he said,
"We definitely should. After all, this isn't the only surprise I have in store for you sweetheart."
-:-:-:-:-
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peaceoutofthepieces · 4 years
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Sink Or Swim
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Saturday, 16:43
Song: Ruel - Dazed & Confused
Jens peeks another look at his phone, but no notifications appear over the call screen. He picks the phone up and drags the top bar down, just in case there’s one he missed, but his notifications are empty.
“Jens!”
He whips his head up to look at the screen to find that he’s about to be shot down, and he drops his phone in favour of smashing the buttons on his control. He can hear Robbe’s protests through the phone and knows, seconds before he wipes out, that he’s too late. Robbe sighs only a second later, and Jens can hear the clatter of him tossing the control away as Jens flops back on his bed. He rubs a hand over his face and manages to mumble out, “Sorry.”
“Where’d you go?”
“Nowhere. Just didn’t notice in time.”
“Jens. I called your name like four times before you reacted.”
Jens muffles a groan behind his hands then grabs for his phone, dropping it closer to his head. Robbe stays quiet, and Jens tries to figure out what to tell him. There is no truth that seems better than the other.
“What’s up?” Robbe prods gently, lightly, when Jens is taking too long to answer.
He tucks his shoulders up in a shrug, even though Robbe can’t see him. “Nothing. I was just distracted.”
“By?”
Jens huffs. He licks his lips as he stares at the ceiling, thinking of how he should explain when he’s not even sure himself. But he supposes it’s just Robbe. Robbe won’t judge him. “I haven’t heard from Lucas.”
There’s a moment of silence, in which Jens feels a little judged.
“Were you expecting to?” Robbe eventually asks, sounding more confused than anything.
Jens heaves a sigh. “Kind of? I’d at least like to know that he’s alive.”
Robbe gives a small laugh. “Why wouldn’t he be?”
“He’s gone home for the weekend.”
“Oh. Really?”
Jens hums.
“But wasn’t he at the party with you?”
“Yeah but that’s also the thing. He left that without even saying goodbye.”
The silence this time is less nerve-wracking, because Jens knows that Robbe is simply thinking. It makes him feel less like he’s over-exaggerating. If Robbe thinks it’s weird, too, then he isn’t overreacting.
“When did he tell you he was going home then?”
Jens grabs his phone and pushes himself up into a sitting position. He shifts until he can flop back against the pillows, setting his phone on his stomach. “I caught up to him after school to tell him about the party and he told me he couldn’t go because he was going home. And I convinced him to just stick around and go for an hour, and he said he would if I hung out with him ‘til then. And he was super chill the whole evening. And then at the party I went to get us drinks, and I came back just to have Moyo tell me he left in a rush with no explanation.”
Robbe is quiet for another moment. Then he says, “Huh.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, maybe he got a message or something? Or forgot he had to do something else before he left? I mean, that must have been a really late train you were making him get, Jens.”
“I wasn’t making him stay,” Jens mumbles. Although, looking back, he’d worried the same thing. The first thought he had, when Moyo told him that Lucas had left, was that he had scared him off. Without even thinking about why at the time, the fear had instantly sunk in and settled in the pit of Jens’s stomach, and then he’d begun picking it apart.
He’d been very insistent that Lucas stay, and that he should go to the party with him. He hadn’t even bothered to come up with any excuses. He’d just poked and prodded because he wanted Lucas there. That thought was eased by the argument that Lucas had given in easily enough and simply requested more time with Jens.
But he hadn’t asked Jens to take him to his favourite fast food place and make him a part of his beloved tradition. He hadn’t asked Jens to guide him through the streets with quite so much physical assistance. He hadn’t asked Jens to dance with him like that.
Jens has been very pleased, for the past week, to have a friend that feels like his. He’s used that as an excuse for every time he would seek Lucas out, every time he made sure Lucas was next to him, every time he sent a text only hours after seeing him in person. He was excited to have someone new that he got along with, someone who wasn’t obsessed with their relationship or too busy with their own life to pay him any attention.
He’s just beginning to think that maybe he’s been a little too excited, and it’s led him to push the boundaries with Lucas a little beyond what would be considered friendly.
Which is a thought that opens up a whole world of questions Jens doesn’t want to answer.
“I would understand that,” Jens continues quietly, when Robbe says nothing to rationalise his complaints. “It’s that I messaged him after to say I hope he has a good weekend and he hasn’t even read it. What if he like, got attacked on the way there or something?” Jens almost expects his friend to laugh this specific worry off, but Robbe stays quiet. It only makes the anxiety in his stomach kick up into something a little more frantic. He hadn’t even been considering that as the biggest possibility—thinking more along the lines of having freaked Lucas out and scared him off. He’s worrying now that it may have been a selfish thought and he should have genuinely been more worried.
“Do you text him often then? And he usually replies quickly?”
Jens is almost embarrassed to answer, but Robbe’s tone is merely curious and Lucas does message him often and quickly. That is never one-sided. None of their interactions have felt one-sided. “Yeah, instantly almost, most of the time.”
“Okay, so I agree that it’s strange,” Robbe says softly. “But these are different circumstances. He was probably in a rush last night, and then over-eager to see his friends this morning. Maybe he hasn’t even checked his DMs.”
“Yeah,” Jens mumbles. “Maybe.”
“Did you check to see when he was active last?”
“He hasn’t been active since yesterday. Isn’t it weird that he hasn’t posted anything either? Or that his friends haven’t?”
“You’ve already checked his friends too, then,” Robbe says, and now he sounds almost amused.
Jens pulls a breath in through his nose before letting it out on a long sigh, rubbing his hand over his face. “I’m overthinking it, aren’t I?”
Robbe hums. Jens can hear the smile in it. “Maybe a little bit. Which is weird for you, because you usually don’t think at all.”
“Ha, ha,” Jens replies dryly.
Robbe snorts. “It’s nice, though. That you’ve taken him in. He’s lucky to have been picked up by you.”
Jens doesn’t know about that, but his chest warms all the same. “So you think he’s okay?”
“I do. I think you would know if he wasn’t. You could text him again, just to see, but he’s supposed to be back tomorrow right? Maybe don’t worry about it until then.”
Jens sighs again. It’s harder than it probably should be, to do what Robbe says. To stop worrying. It is odd. He usually doesn’t think this much.
But there’s the worry that Lucas really is lying hurt and half-dead in an alley somewhere, or there’s the worry that Jens had messed things up. He’s currently not a big fan of either option, and he’d really been hoping that Robbe would have provided another.
He supposes he has. Jens feels like he would know, if something had happened to Lucas, would feel it deep down in his gut where all his natural instincts lie. The worry would be more prominent than this. This is an ache in his chest and a niggle in the back of his brain telling him that something is wrong, spurred on by his own insecurities.
Lucas probably is off having fun. With his friends. His real friends, back home, who know about his mother and his birthday and his favourite things that Jens is still in the dark about. He probably just isn’t even thinking about Jens at all.
“You’re right,” he eventually tells Robbe. “He’s a big boy. Doesn’t need a babysitter.”
“I’m always right,” Robbe teases back. “And I do have more experience with complicated boys.”
“Do you think Lucas is complicated?”
“Everyone is complicated, Jens. Do you want to play another round?”
Jens considers, and begins to hum in agreement only for someone to knock on his door and then carefully push it open. He raises his brows as Lotte pokes her head in, with a wide, innocent smile on her face.
“Mama wants you in the kitchen.”
“Now?”
Robbe huffs in quiet amusement at the complaint in his voice as Lotte just nods.
Jens sighs. “Fine. Go tell her I’ll be there in a sec.”
Lotte gives a chipper nod and skips back down the hall, leaving his door open behind her. He rolls his eyes and picks up his phone, turning off the speakerphone and bringing the device to his ear. “Sorry, duty calls. Maybe later?”
“Yeah, sure,” Robbe says easily.
“You don’t have any plans with Sander?”
“He can just come play, too.”
“I’m not sure I want to be involved in those games,” Jens teases.
Robbe snorts, and Jens can picture him shaking his head. “Goodbye, Jens. Let me know if you hear from Lucas, yeah?”
“Yep,” Jens promises as he finally climbs off the bed, making his way to his door and then the top of the stairs as he adds a, “Bye,” and Robbe hangs up.
He pockets his phone and takes a steadying breath in and out through his nose as he trots down the stairs. He rounds the door into the kitchen with his hand on the frame and a complaint already on his lips. “What did you wa—“
He stops in his tracks in the doorway when he doesn’t find his mother in the room. Instead it’s a woman of a smaller stature and darker hair with her back turned to him, wearing jeans and a cropped jumper he hopes to <i>never</i> see on his mother. She whirls around at the sound of his voice and beams.
“Lies?”
“Hey.” His sister wiggles her brows at him as her smile brightens even further. When he continues to stand there, staring, she holds her arms out towards him and wiggles her fingers instead, brows raised. “Since when do you have nothing to say?”
Jens barrels into her and wraps her up in a tight hug, lifting her slightly off her feet. She laughs and slings her arms around his shoulders to hold herself up, pressing a kiss to his cheek and pulling fondly at his hair.
“Hi,” Jens breathes. He sets her back down but doesn’t let go, ducking his head down to rest on her shoulder instead. “What are you doing here?”
She pulls back and tucks her hands into her pockets once Jens lets go. “Reading week.”
Jens furrows his brows and tilts his head to the side. “Isn’t that next week?”
“No, midterm is next week. This is like a study week organised by my lecturers.”
“But...you haven’t even been back that long.”
Lies rolls her eyes and pinches his cheek. “Are you happy to see me or not?” she prods.
Jens bats her hand away with a grin. He’s tempted to hug her again. It’s weird, maybe, that he is so happy to see his older sister, but he has never really gotten used to her being away. With only a two year age gap between them, Lies had grown up alongside him without appearing miles ahead. They’ve always been close, and Jens is getting used to missing her when she leaves and counting the days until she comes home. She has always made the home environment feel better to Jens. She has, oddly enough, always been on his team—and vice versa. He isn’t alone when Lies is home.
Which is why she usually tells him when she’s coming back.
He frowns just as quickly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Lies deflates, sighing as she performs the same drawn-out shrug as Jens. “I don’t know, college life is stressful, and I didn’t even realise I hadn’t mentioned it to you. I thought you knew. And then Mom was surprised when I mentioned it last week and I realised. Then I thought it would be a nice surprise, but…”
“It is,” Jens argues quickly. “It’s a fucking great surprise. I missed you.”
“But I only just went back,” she mocks, teasing him. He draws her in with an arm around her neck and musses her hair, earning a shriek followed by a shout of protest and a jab to the stomach. Jens’s gasp turns quickly into a laugh and he changes the hold to another short hug, smiling when Lies gives in and hugs him back. “I bet I still have more interesting stories to catch you up on than you do with me.”
“Nope,” Jens denies happily. “Not this time. I have a whole new person to tell you about.”
Lies immediately leans back and snaps her head up to look at him, eyes wide. “You got a new girlfriend?”
“No,” Jens laughs.
She squints. “Boyfriend?”
He shoves her away with another laugh, shaking his head and ignoring the stutter of his heart. He can think about all the things that are confusing him later, when Lies isn’t carefully examining him. “Friend. Lucas. He just moved from Antwerp like a week ago.”
“And you’ve already managed to corrupt him?” Lies smiles.
Jens tilts his head side to side, smiling with her. “I’ve certainly started.”
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doof-doofblog · 3 years
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NEWS UPDATE
SPOILER NEWS!
Heyyy everyone! So, I know its been a long while since I've posted, I decided to take a few weeks off for me, I was struggling to keep up with episodes and writing a blog whilst also working a full time job as well as trying to find a new house with my partner - it's been a stressful couple of weeks. Also I feel like I haven't been able to enjoy the episodes as much as I'm constantly making notes to make sure I don't miss anything in my blog posts, but over the last few weeks I've been able to binge watch all the episodes I have missed.
I have to acknowledge the fantastic acting skills from Stevie Basaula who plays Isaac Baptise, watching him play the role of someone with schizophrenia has been absolutely stunning. I always thought that Isaac going off his medication was going to cause him to go on a downward spiral, it seems that he has come completely obsessed with the murder of his brother Paul, and is eager to prove that Ruby has some hidden agenda regarding his death. It's been really fascinating watching Isaac become gripped with this theory he's put together in his mind. I can't applaud Stevie enough for his mind-blowing performance!  
To cover a few minor points of the recent episodes I have seen:-
Rainie and Stuart have finally chosen Bernie to be their surrogate
Jags ended up being murdered in prison
Suki blamed Vinny, to which Vinny then blamed himself and almost drank himself into oblivion
Seeking comfort, Vinny then ended up sleeping with Dotty, much to her regret
Dana found out the truth about Bobby's real identity and is left heartbroken
After some wise words from Peter, she decides to give Bobby a second chance
Phil and Kat have opened their new business together
After some wise words from Kat and Patrick, Denise allowed Phil to spend more time with Raymond
However he betrayed her trust by informing the young child that he was in fact his real Dad
Ben received some devastating news from Pam Coker
One of Paul's killers have been released from prison after only serving 5 years
Chelsea and Gray are now dating and he has asked her to move in! (HUGE RED FLAGS GOING UP!)
Overall it's been a dramatic and couple of weeks! Anyway the main reason I've wanted to write this post is that some exciting news was announced yesterday. EastEnders have cast Kate Robbins as the role of Jen Glover. The storyline regarding this new characters seems to be that she is introduced to the Square by Terry (Rocky) to suspend Whitney into the career of pop superstardom. This is quite an interesting turn for Whitney, I'm intrigued to see how all this will unravel. What will it mean for Whitney? Will she be successful or could this be another horrendous storyline which will see her get into some form of trouble? Who knows?!
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What are your thoughts on this upcoming storyline? Please feel free to let me know your thoughts! Oh that reminds me, regarding Janine's return, it seems that EastEnders will be putting together a huge fire stunt to welcome the power bitch back to the Square! What or who will cause the fire? Where will it be taking place? Could some of our beloved characters be seriously hurt? I for one am incredibly excited to see this all kick off! 
Even though this has been a nice blog post, I will be away for a week now as I'm going away with my partner for my birthday, when I'm back I'll try my absolute best to get back to blogging. Thank you all for being incredibly understanding! I'm looking forward to getting back into my blog properly. Enjoy the rest of your week everyone and I'll be back very soon! Love you all xXx  
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junnie133 · 3 years
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Wind’s birthday!
Because it’s a new series apparently. I did Time’s too, if you want to check it out. I made this to relax from my week of finals and I admit it could be better, no beta we die like me i guess. Anyways, this is just fluff, so enjoy!!
{+}{+}{+}
“What’s snow?”
Wild blinked dumbly at Wind, slowly trying to register the younger hero’s words in his brain. Legend raised a brow, and Twilight tilted his head to the side like a lost puppy. 
The Sailor frowned at them. “What?”
Wild glanced at both of his friends before looking at Wind again. “You know, like frozen water that falls from the sky?” he made a motion with one of his hands, lowering it while wiggling his fingers in the air to make a (poor) demonstration of what he was talking about. Wind seemed to be more lost than before.
“You mean hail?” he asked.
Twilight shook his head. “No, no. Snow is… softer, it melts as soon as you touch it.” 
“I have no idea what you are talking about.” he huffed, and crossed his arms over his chest gruffly. He wasn’t sure if they were genuinely confused or just pretending to mock him, it wouldn’t be the first time after all.
“C’mon kid, you serious?” asked Legend. “It’s like, one of the best things about having your birthday in winter!”
Today had been really nice for Wind. He woke up in a real bed for a change, Wild’s bed since they were in his house, and to the smell of cake flooding the second floor. He had fruit cake for breakfast and got some small gifts from the others (Sky craved him a Keaton mask just like Time’s and Wild gave him his opal earrings- and the invitation to pierce his ears whenever he wanted, among many other things from the rest). Also, Time determined they needed a rest, and so Wild was showing them the places around Hateno Village to entertain their youngest member for a while.
That’s when Legend asked Wild what was beyond those mountains in the distance, and the local hero only answered. “A spring. And snow. And Ice. And more snow.”
And Wind was a kid, of course he was curious what that word meant. So he asked, he just didn’t expect those answers.
“All I know about my birthday is that it’s chilly and we can’t swim so grandma makes some soup for me and Aryll.” he shrugged.
“Man, that’s fucked.” said Legend.
“Well, he does live on a tropical island.” remarked Twilight. 
“Right.” he nodded.
“Then we should show you!” said Wild suddenly with a big smile on his face. “Wait for me in my house, I’ll be right back.”
“What do you mean cub-?” Twilight’s words were interrupted by a flash of bright blue lights dematerializing his protégé. 
“Where…?” Legend rolled his eyes. “Right, whatever.”
“What was that?” asked Wind, as Twilight sighed and started walking towards the house over the bridge.
“I think I know what he’s planning.” 
And his suspicions were right. Wild returned with a big smile and three identical sets of snowquill Rito armor, the only difference being the size and color, finding his friends around the fire where Bolson and Karson used to hang out every day. Twilight’s was gray, Wind’s a bright shade of cyan and Legend’s the ugliest shade of pink he had ever seen in his life.
“This is bullshit.” he growled, clutching the soft clothes on his hands.
“What are you planning?” asked Time, who was taking care of one of Wild’s horses near them to entertain himself.
“Wind has never seen snow before so,” he tapped his slate a couple of times and dressed with winter clothes in a second. “We’re going to show him!”
“Wait, we’re?” asked Legend. “I didn’t agree to anything! And you should ask the birthday boy first”
Wind was already putting on the top piece of his suit. “It’s ok for me!”
Twilight shrugged. “It can’t hurt. We’re going to Mt. Lanayru right?”
Wild nodded. “We will be back soon, I promise.” he said to Time.
The Old Man opened his mouth with a worried look on his eye, but then Wind stared up at him, his expressive, huge dark eyes making contact with his as he smiled. “It will be an awesome birthday experience! It’s my birthday so I can have a birthday trip.” he said.
He avoided his begging look to search for some kind of support in Twilight, but his traitor of a protégé looked at him with a similar expression that begged him to not say nothing against this. He sighed then, nodding.
“Alright, but I want you all here for dinner.” he said.
“You are weak, Old Man.” Legend glared at him, as Time shrugged. He had a soft spot for those two.
The boys dressed up right where they were. throwing the warm clothes over their normal ones, and formed a circle as Wild told them. Linked by their arms, he tapped his slate once more and soon they were being warped Hylia knows where in a flash of blue lights.
“They’re getting in trouble.” said Warriors not far from there. 
“It’s Twilight’s problem now.” he said with a straight face. “I can relax for once without problem children around.”
As soon as he said that, without giving Warriors time to say anything back, Four arrived panting and talking at light’s speed.
“- I told Sky to not get near that thing but he didn’t listen to me and Hyrule is trying to find out what happened but they sent me back to get you or Wild and-”
Warriors looked at him with an amused expression, slightly worried by Four’s words but he still smiled sardonically. “You talked too fast.”
Time began walking towards the way Four came from. “Shut up.”
{+}{+}{+}
It was freezing.
But this was so fun!
But it was fucking freezing.
But he was having the best time of his life too!!
The weather was nice, it was a sunny day and everything was so bright the same way the sea sparkled so intensely at midday to the point that it almost left him blind. Twilight threw another snowball to him, but Wind dodged at last second and it ended hitting Legend, who squawked indignantly before smirking evilly, trying to hunt the older blond. He was trembling because of the cold and the adrenaline. Wild hit him with a ball in the head and he hated the cold feeling in his scalp, but also made something ignite inside his chest as he chased his long-haired friend with the biggest amount of snow he could carry in a spherical shape. 
“Come here you coward!” he shouted.
“Never!” Wild laughed.
Suddenly the ground disappeared from his feet, and he shrieked out loud when Twilight effortlessly tossed him into a pile of snow near them. 
“Watch your back buddy!” he said.
Wind emerged from the snow with a frown he couldn’t keep because he simply was too happy to be mad at Twilight. “That’s cheating!” he said, giggling.
“All is fair in love and war.” Legend cheekily said, leaning with his arm on Twilight’s shoulder.
Wild smiled at Wind’s pout, and then barked a laugh when the kid threw a snowball straight at Legend’s face. 
“Oh, you’re on!” 
Twilight and Wild laughed far from the warzone while their friends wrestled rolling in dirt and snow. Twilight patted his protegé’s shoulder with a tender expression on his face.
“This was a good idea cub, I’m proud.”
Wild pretended those words didn’t warm his chest in a way that almost made him cry, and smiled confidently to his mentor. Twilight didn’t compliment his decisions (in general) very often, as they mostly included explosions, fire and maybe the occasional infiltration to a monster camp while wearing a bokoblin’s makeshift head. 
“He was feeling homesick.” he said, getting a surprised look from Twi. “He told me yesterday he missed his Zelda and his family, so I wanted to make a little distraction for him.”
Wind won their improvised wrestling competition and sat over Legend’s back with crossed arms and a bright grin, as the veteran rolled his eyes with a fake disinterested expression on his face. 
“Who’s next?” he boasted.
Twilight raised his hand, and chuckled when he saw a flash of nervousness on the youngest’s face. “I can go easy on you if you want.”
“No! I’ll take you down fair and square.”
Wild was glad they were having a good time, and when they came back not even Sky being cursed by the old horned statue dampened his mood.
{+}{+}{+}
Here’s another birthday especial! A very rough idea but I wanted to post it since the las thing I posted about Wind was pure angst ;---; so my body demanded fluff. I hope you liked it!!!
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Text
Becoming A Stark? (28)- Peter Parker x Stark!femReader
Word Count: 3395
Warnings: swearing, IW emotional trauma, the usual.
Author Note: There is some dialog from Infinity War used in this chapter. I don’t own it, but also there’s new stuff after it so don’t skip it. This is the final chapter. There will be a sequel that I’m not sure when will be posted but it will be coming. If you want to be tagged when it’s posted, let me know! Thank you for reading all of this and giving me so much love on my fist PP story. Let me know what you think of the finale.
Chapter One || Previous Chapter || Master List
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“Mom have you seen my jacket?” You ask as you walk from the living room back into the kitchen. You’re already dressed in ripped jeans, galaxy converse, and a grey AC/DC shirt.
“Which jacket?” Pepper asks as she stirs the eggs she’s cooking for you.
“My denim one? I wore it yesterday? Or maybe it was the day before?”
“Have you checked your room?”
“I looked there when I was getting ready. I didn’t see it.” Instead of being dressed for the office, Pepper is wearing running gear. “Are you going into the office today?”
“In a little bit. Your dad wants to go to the park for a run first.”
“Dad running? Since when?”
“I think your birthday is making him feel O-L-D.” Pepper teases as Tony walks down the stairs.
“I can still spell even if I’m getting old.” Tony responds. In his hand he’s holding your Rolling Stones jacket. “You left this on the stairs kiddo.”
“Oh, right! I meant to take it up last night.” You shrug it over your shoulders before sitting down at the food that Pepper made for you.
“What’s with the pep in your step today?”
“Field trip. I don’t have to be at school today.”
“Field trip?” Your dad asks as he sits down next to you. “Where to?”
“MoMA. My art class is going.”
“Ah so you and the young Parker are getting out of school to go look at art. How sweet.” Your dad says with a teasing tone remembering how Peter ended up in your art class after switching in in the second six weeks. “With how much it cost for you to go to that school, I would think you would spend more time at school than on field trips.”
“It’s educational. I promise.”
“Sure it is.”
“What your dad is trying to say is have fun.” Pepper says with a laugh. “He and I are going to go so can you lock up when you leave with Happy?” You nod. “Perfect. Have fun, love you, see you after school.”
“Love you kiddo.” Your dad kisses the top of your head. Pepper places a kiss behind him. You munch on your toast as they walk towards the door. Today should be a fairly normal day, apart from the field trip.
“Slow down, slow down. I’ll spell it out for you.” Tony tries to get Pepper to listen as he tries to explain his dream from last night while they walk through the park together.
“You’re totally rambling.”
“No I’m not.” Tony throws back in his own defense.
“You lost me.”
“Look, you know how you’re having a dream, and in the dream you gotta pee.” Tony ties his jacket around his shoulders as he says this.
“Yeah.”
“Okay. And then you’re like ‘Oh my God. There’s no bathrooms. What am I gonna do? Oh, someone’s watching.’”
“Right.”
“‘Oh, I’m gonna go in my pants.’”
“And then you wake up and in real life you actually have to pee.” Pepper catches his drift.
“Yes.” Tony’s hand waves in agreement.
“Yeah. Everybody has that.”
“Right that’s the point I’m trying to make. Apropos of that, last night I dreamt we had a kid.”
“We have a kid. Y/N.” Pepper points out with a smile.
“No like a baby.” Tony explains. “It was so real. We named him after your eccentric uncle. Uh what was his name? Morgan! Morgan.”
“Right. So when you woke up…”
“Naturally.”
“...and thought we were…”
“Expecting.”
“Yeah.”
“Yes?”
“No.” Pepper smiles at him as she says it.
“I had a dream about it. It was so real.”
“If you wanted to have another kid, you wouldn’t have done that.” Pepper unties the sweater and taps on the nanoparticle home.
“I’m glad you brought this up, ‘cause it’s nothing. It’s just a housing unit for nanoparticles.”
“You’re not helping your case, okay?”
“No, this is detachable. It’s not a…”
“You don’t need that. Y/N didn’t need you to get that. I didn’t need you to get that. Your family needs you to put them first sometimes ok?”
“I know. I had the surgery. I’m just trying to protect us and future usses and that’s it. Just in case there’s a monster in the closet. Instead of, you know…”
“Shirts.”
“You know me so well.”
“God.”
“You finish all my sentences.”
“You should have shirts in your closet.”
“Yeah, you know what there should be? No more surprises. We’re going to have a nice dinner tonight. Hear all about Y/N’s field trip. Show off this Harry Winston. Right?” Pepper chuckles at his antics. “And we should have no more surprises. Ever. I should promise you.”
“Yes.”
“I will.” Tony leans in to kiss Pepper. “Thank you.”
“Tony Stark?” Pepper pulls away at the sound of someone calling Tony’s name. Tony on the other hand can only roll his eyes because this was exactly the kind of thing he was talking about. “I’m Doctor Stephen Strange. I need you to come with me.” Pepper grabs Tony’s hand at this. “Oh and uh congratulations on the wedding, by the way.”
“I’m sorry, are you giving out tickets to something?”
“We need your help. It’s not overselling it to say that the fate of the universe is at stake.”
“And who’s we?”
“Hey Tony.” Bruce appears by Stephen’s side, shocking both Tony and Pepper after so much time without him.
“Bruce.”
“Pepper.”
“Hi.”
“Oh.”
“Are you ok?” Tony asks as Bruce falls into hugging him. What has happened while he was away?
“Ready for this field trip?” Peter asks as he sits down next to you on the bus.
“I’m always ready. Getting out of school for the day? Hell yeah.” You nudge your boyfriend’s shoulder. “Are you ready to see MoMA?”
“I guess so. I haven’t been since Ben died so…” Peter trails off.
“Babe, you haven’t been to MoMA since then? Why?”
“Ben really liked seeing the new exhibits and he would take me with him when he went. It just felt wrong to go without him.” Peter explains as the bus takes off from MSST and heads towards MoMA. “But there’s a first time to do stuff since you lose people I guess.”
“It’s going to be fine. I’ll be with you the whole time.” You say as you take his hand in yours. Peter leans forward on the seat in front of you so he can look in your direction.
“Well that will make everything better.” Suddenly the hairs on Peter’s arm stand straight up.
“What?” 
“Something’s wrong.” Peter mumbles. “Spidey senses are off the wall.” His voice is no louder than a whisper.
“Something like a giant donut spaceship floating over NYC seem off enough?” You say pointing towards the window beside him. He turns to look and the recognition on his face tells you all you need to know. Looks like Peter may not be on the field trip after all.
“Can you and Ned create a distraction?”
“Of course. But you’ll be safe?”
“Always am.” He kisses you on the lips really quick before you tap Ned on the shoulder. Ned spins around to look at you. 
“Guy in the chair needs to distract everyone with me.” You say quickly, but as Ned turns he sees the ship out the window.
“Holy shit.” He then turns towards the back of the bus and yells, “We’re all gonna die! There’s a spaceship!” You follow him towards the back of the bus as people start calling out asking what’s going on. But your eyes catch Peter’s one more time before he opens the emergency exit window with his web shooter. While everyone else is watching the spaceship, your eyes are trailing out the back of the bus as Peter jumps off the bridge. You know he’ll web himself to safety, but it makes your stomach fall to your toes every time.
Peter swings into the park where he sees a big angry alien… if he had to guess, swinging a sword/ax at Tony. So he does the one thing he knows how to do, he grabs it. “Hey man. What’s up Mr. Stark?” 
“Kid where did you come from?”
“Field trip, to MoMA.” Peter screams as he’s thrown in the other direction. “Uh what is this guy’s problem Mr. Stark?”
“Uh he’s from space. He came here to steal a necklace from a wizard.” As the alien throws cars around and Tony tries to laser him, Peter webs the car and swings it back at the alien. Which might just make him more angry, but that’s half the fun. Right as the alien swings his ax down again, a red object zooms by. “Kid that’s the wizard, get on it.”
“On it!” Swinging across New York, he finally grabs the wizard when a blue light grabs the wizard and pulls them both up towards the sky. “Uh, Mr. Stark, I’m being beamed up.”
“Hang on kid!” Wong traps the alien in an icy tundra, slicing off the hand that reaches up towards them. “Wong you’re invited to my wedding.” Tony shouts before jetting off to rescue his daughter’s boyfriend, who happens to be climbing up the side of the alien spaceship. “Give me a little juice FRIDAY. Unlock 17:A.” His boots morph together to form one big foot thruster. “Pete you gotta let go. I’m gonna catch you.” He says over the comms to Peter.
“But you said save the wizard.” Peter pulls his mask off as he says, “I can’t breathe.”
“We’re too high up. You’re running out of air.” If your boyfriend dies in space, you might kill your dad, so he’s going to do everything he can to save the kid.
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Peter’s hands slip from the ship as he runs out of air. But the Iron Spider suit Tony had been working on arrives just in time to grab hold of Peter and save him from falling back to Earth. Instead he just hits the ship a time or two before having air to breathe again. Peter grabs a hold of the ship and stands back up. “Mr. Stark, it smells like a new car in here!”
“Happy trails, kid. FRIDAY send him home.”
“Yep.” A parachute deploys and pulls Peter off the ship.
“Oh come on!” As Tony cuts into the side of the ship, FRIDAY alerts him of something else.
“Boss incoming call from Miss Potts.”
“Tony are you alright? What’s going on?”
“Yeah I’m fine. I just think we might have to push our 8:30 res.”
“Why?”
“Just ‘cause I’ll probably not make it back for a while.”
“Tell me you’re not on that ship.”
“Yeah.”
“God, no, please tell me you’re not on the ship.”
“Honey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
“Come back here Tony. I swear to God. I will take Y/N and I will leave for good. No more surprises. You promised.”
“Pep.”
“Come back here right now.” Static starts to crackle. “Come back.”
“Boss we’re losing her.”
“I’m going too…” Pepper’s voice breaks off as the call drops. While Tony is dealing with this call, Peter is climbing up his webs, back onto the ship he had been told not to be on. 
All he can mutter is “I should have stayed on the bus,” as the doors shut on the ship.
The ship is no longer in the sky. You watched it fly away. But you don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, because now you can’t get a hold of your dad or Peter. So you call the one person who has always had to be in the same position as you- you call your mom.
“Y/N? Are you ok?”
“Mom tell me Dad didn’t do something stupid and get on that ship.” Your school group is starting to walk into the first exhibit hall, but you need reassurance right now, not art pieces. Pepper doesn’t say anything for a moment, trying to figure out how to tell you that your dad is on that ship. “He’s on that ship isn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? Why would he be stupid enough to get on an alien space ship?”
“Because he’s stupid enough to think that saving the world falls on his shoulders and his alone.”
“I think Peter might have been stupid enough to think that too.” You say as soon as you know your class is out of hearing range.
“What?”
“I’ve tried calling him and he’s not picking up.”
“I thought he was on the field trip with you?”
“He was until he saw an alien ship in the sky. Then he decided that he needed to be a superhero. And now he won’t pick up the phone and he always picks up the phone, even when he’s in his suit.” You voice the concerns you’re having. “And my calls to Dad aren’t going through either which makes me think that Peter is with him.”
“He wouldn’t be stupid enough to take a fifteen year old with him on a space ship.” Pepper tries to reassure you.
“But just because he doesn’t take Peter doesn’t mean that Peter isn’t stupid enough to follow him.”
“Sounds like we both need to date smarter men.”
“They’re book smart. I’m just not sure if they’re life smart.”
“I think I’d agree with that.”
“But we also love them too much to let them go.”
“That’s also true.” Pepper doesn’t comment on the fact that you just admitted that you love Peter. “But I also know that your dad will do anything to keep Peter safe if he’s with him. So you just focus on your school trip and at the end of the day, they’ll all come home safe.” Pepper’s promise doesn’t hold much truth to it, but you know your mom is trying to calm you more than anything. “I’m going to send Happy to pick you up from the museum and bring you to SI.”
“Right now?”
“No, but he’ll be there to pick you up when everyone heads back to school.”
“That’s not necessary. I’ll just head back to school and then he can pick me up from school. But Mom, if you hear from Dad, can you tell him I love him?”
“He knows you love him.”
“But I didn’t say it to him this morning and if something happens to him…” You feel the tears welling in your eyes.
“Nothing is going to happen to him. He knows you love him.”
“You don’t know that. Every time he walks out the door to play Avenger, he could leave and not come back. He could die out there today. And I couldn’t take the two seconds it would have taken to tell him I loved him this morning.” The tears drizzle down your face as you mutter the words you feel in your soul. Out of the corner of your eye you see Ned waiting by the door leading to the next exhibit area. You wipe the tears from your cheeks. “So just if you hear from him tell him ok, Mom?”
“I will. Now just for now, don’t think about all of this. Just focus on the field trip and I’ll see you after it ok? Everything is going to be ok.”
“Mom? I love you.”
“I love you too Y/N. So much.” You hang up the phone and Ned walks over.
“Everything alright?”
“No, but the universe doesn’t usually ask me before it makes it’s decisions.”
“Have you heard from Peter?” You shake your head. 
“I can’t get a hold of him or my dad. My mom said my dad is on that donut that flew out of the sky, which makes me think if I can’t get a hold of Peter…”
“He’s on it too.” Ned finishes your thought. “Peter’s in space with Iron Man. That’s so cool.” Ned mumbles but then sees your face. “Ok, not the point right now. What’s our plan?”
“We don’t have one. We’re not Avengers. We just wait around until the rest of them hopefully show up.” And you do what you hope is the next best step, you text your aunt- SOS.
N:Don’t worry. Avengers are on it. Focus on school. 
Why does everyone think you’ll be able to focus on anything when your dad and boyfriend disappeared on an alien spaceship? 
Y:you all think i’m going to be able to focus on learning when my dad and boyfriend have just gone missing? that’s the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard of coming from two of the smartest women i know.
N:I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but this isn’t on your shoulders. The Avengers will take care of this fight. I promise you, we’ll get them back. Anyway we have to.
“Anything?” Ned asks quietly, as your tour guide goes on pointing out different pieces of art. You shake your head.
“Apparently it’s an Avenger problem, not a me problem, according to Aunt Nat.”
“It’s still cool that you can just text Avengers.”
“Ned, my dad is literally an Avenger. It loses the coolness factor when your dad leaves on missions and you don’t know if he’ll come back alive or not.”
“That’s true I guess.” He looks at the art piece next to you. “But still you get to text the Black Widow! Isn’t that cool?”
“She’s just my Aunt Nat. I’ve hung out with her watching horror movies and talking about crushes. It feels different than saying I text the Black Widow.” You glance over at the statue, trying to take it in so you can write your report when you get home.
“They could have tried to put at least one blemish on it.” MJ mutters and you nod in agreement.
“Uh, Y/N?”
“Ned?” You turn from MJ to see Ned staring at his hand. It’s turning to dust in front of his eyes. “Ned, what’s happening?”
“I think something’s wrong.” His other hand starts to turn into dust and you don’t understand. 
“What is happening?”
“Something that can’t be good.” MJ says and you turn to see her hands turning to dust as well. “Y/N, something is wrong. Really wrong.” Your friends are turning to dust in front of your eyes. You can’t stop it, you can’t figure out what’s wrong. So you do the one thing you know to do when something is wrong- you call your mom.
“Y/N? Please tell me you’re not turning to dust too?”
“Mom, I don’t get what’s happening.”
“I don’t know either. But something isn’t right.” Your mom sounds stressed and worried at the same time you lift a hand to run through your hair and that’s when you see it. Your hand is disappearing before your eyes.
“Mom. Mom, I’m scared. My hand, it’s going.”
“Y/N, everything is going to be alright. It’s going to be ok.” Pepper doesn’t tell you that she has tears streaming down her cheeks. She needs to stay calm for you. You’re the one fading into nothing. She can stay calm for you in this moment. 
“Mom, Mom. I don’t want to go. Please. I don’t know what’s happening. Mom, please make it stop.” Pepper closes her eyes as she listens to your pleads.
“It’s going to be alright sweetheart. Everything is going to be ok.” You watch in horror as Ned fades into nothing but a pile of dust.
“Mom, Ned’s gone. MJ’s seconds away from going. I don’t want to go too. Please make it stop.”
“Everything is going to be alright baby. Just breathe. Everything is going to be ok.” Pepper lies to you.
“Mom, I love you. Tell Dad I love him too. I don’t want to go. Tell him that. I never wanted to go. Having you two as parents was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Your eyes look in horror as MJ turns into dust too.
“We feel the same about you.”
“I love you. I love you so much Mom. I’m sorry. I don’t want to go. I love you.”
“We love you too.” Pepper knows she only has seconds left with you so she wants to make sure you know this before it’s too late.
“I love yo-”
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thepandapopo · 4 years
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His Star - Chapter 2: Proposals
Can I get this out before midnight? who knows. But I’m determined to at least bang this chapter out in one sitting because it was Claude’s birthday yesterday damn it and I told myself that for his birthday, I would post at least 2 chapters to this fic, bake him a cake, and have a perfect tea time with myself.
So far everything has been accomplished except for the second chapter. so HERE WE GO.
Pairing: Claude x F!Byleth
In which Claude proposes a vacation to Byleth which may or may not be stress free, and may or may not include going back to Almyra with him so that he can court her properly. 
OR
The one where Claude schemes to take his star home so that he can finally get started on his plans to make an honest woman out of her... and also get his parents off his back.
Chapter List
1 / 2 / 2.5  
Masterlist
If you would like to be added to a tag list whenever I update, please let me know!
XxXxXxXxX 
Of all the things Claude expected to come back to, Byleth falling off a cliff was not one of them.
In fact, after the first time he watched her fall off a cliff following the Battle of Garreg Mach, he never wanted to see it ever again. So when he was faced with his greatest fear for the second time - no no no, she couldn’t leave him again - he had not hesitated to throw caution to the wind and abandon his position at the head of his army. He had dug his heels into Zahra’s flank and as always, the white wyvern was on the same page as her master, flying faster than she had ever flown before towards the falling queen.
Claude was used to any physical contact with Byleth feeling electric, like little shocks of pleasure shooting from his nerves and sending shivers down his spine, but when he caught her in his arms, he was alarmed by how hot her skin felt even through the thick leather of his gloves.
It was clear that Byleth was ill. Extremely ill. And yet she pushed herself to her very limits, standing at the front lines with her soldiers to show them that no matter what, she was with them because she believed in a world of peace.
She believed in his dream.
Suddenly, the fear that gripped his heart mere moments ago gives way to a fiery hot rage that burns through his body.
Byleth has done enough for Fodlan. She has fought countless battles, pushed her body to the very limits, and even carried the burden of having the powers of a goddess (”Teach, you’re joking, right? What do you mean you can turn back time?” “It is exactly what I said, Claude.”).
And now these stragglers and remnants of the Imperial army and Those Who Slither in the Dark come once more to try and revive their warped plans?
There are many things that Byleth deserves, Claude thinks, and being able to lay in bed recovering from a cold without worrying about crazy delusional dark mages is probably near the top of that list.
So when the newly crowned King finally makes it to Marianne and entrusts his secret fiance to her care, he no longer has his usual mask of cheerful indifference. Instead, storm clouds roil and darken his visage, verdant eyes sharp and blazing with cold, calculating determination.
Claude doesn’t remember how many enemies he shoots down that day. But he does know that it isn’t enough to quell the fury that simmers beneath his skin.
----
It is four days after the battle before Byleth finally regains consciousness.
Much to his chagrin, Claude is not there by her side when she rejoins the land of the conscious. In the aftermath of the battle, he resolves to step up and help Byleth with some of her duties while she is recovering. Which is exactly how Claude has found himself in the middle of a dreadfully exasperating conversation with Count Gloucester going over resource allocation for the umpteenth time. Thankfully, the servant chooses this time to burst through the door with the news.
“Your majesty!! She’s awake!”
The words are barely registering in his brain before he is moving, hastily throwing half-hearted apologies towards the clearly disgruntled Count, and rushing out the door.
He makes it to her room in record time. And he knows this because he has timed how long it takes to get to her room from any location in the castle, just in case he needs to get to her quickly.
Sitting upright against a mountain of pillows and bathed in the sunlight from the open terrace doors, Byleth is a vision for sore eyes.
He opens his mouth to speak and cannot help but slip back into the playful banter that he is so used to.
“Teach, we really gotta talk about you and cliffs. I don’t think it’s working out in your favor.”
Claude distantly wonders if maybe he should have said something more romantic, or even just a simply inquiry about her health, but those options don’t sit right with him.
She loves him for who he is, and that includes his old habits and light quips.
She is staring at him like he is a ghost, and really, he cannot blame her. The bed sinks a little with his weight and he reaches out to brush a stray lock of mint so that he can see those beautiful eyes that he missed so dearly. 
It has been a long six and a half months since he left her at the top of the Goddess Tower. Probably even more shocking yet, he has since ascended the Almyran throne and that feat itself is quite evident from the brightly coloured and extravagant robes that he now dons on a daily basis.
“What’s the matter, Teach? Cat got your- oof!”
She crashes into him without warning and he is immediately reminded of how solidly built she actually is. Byleth is a fighter first and foremost, after all. Claude should have known that a few months behind a desk tending to paperwork wouldn’t have been enough to deteriorate the wall of lean muscle she has built over years of mercenary work.
“I... You... you’re really here?”
Oh, Goddess. He has missed her voice.
His arms snake around her, one coming to a rest across her lower back, pulling her smaller form closer to him as the other hand snakes its way into her hair. 
Lips against her temple, he gifts her with a gentle kiss before humming his reply against her skin.
“I am, my love. I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”
Neither of them can bring themselves to separate, not when this moment feels so much like a dream that could dissolve at any second. Instead, they trade quiet whispers of affection that do not even come close to reflecting the longing and yearning they have experienced since they parted ways.
The sun is beginning to fall below the horizon by the time they manage to pull apart for longer than a heartbeat. Byleth has long since scooted over and pulled Claude under the covers so that they can lay side by side rather than perched uncomfortably at the edge of her bed.
He lets out a pleasant hum when her fingers begin carding through his hair, slender fingers parting his thick brown hair and smoothing it down the back of his head.
“So...” 
He knows that tone. He’s been on the receiving end of it multiple times, mostly back in his schooldays when she catches him red handed with a vial of his latest experiment uncorked and ready to pour into someone’s meal.
“King now, is it?”
“Er... yeah.” He ignores the urge to scratch his neck sheepishly and opts to bury his face in her shoulder, inhaling the sweet scent of blade oil and jasmine that is unique to Byleth.
“King Khalid.”
Ah crap.
He lifts his sheepish expression to meet her narrowed eyes, “By, you have to believe me when I say I was going to tell you. But I had to sort a lot of things out first.” 
He brings their hands up under the fading sunlight and verdant eyes shift to look at their intertwined fingers.“You know already that I am part Almyran. And I told you before I left that I had some...royal connections -”
“I believe you described them as ‘insignificant’.” As usual, her memory and mind are as sharp as her sword and he knows that he cannot weasel his way out of this situation.
“Haha... did I say that? I mean, even though technically I was the crown Prince, it’s not like I was guaranteed the throne. Almyrian traditions are a bit different than here in Fodlan.”
He’s half expecting her to throw another quip back at him about another one of the ways he’s botched this whole thing up, but to his surprise, she merely stares at him with those unwavering green eyes and nods for him to continue.
It’s now or never. He may not have been able to be completely truthful with her before, but now those obligations and promises that veiled his truths no longer bind him.
So he tells her. He tells her about his mother and how she made him promise to keep his identity a secret. He tells her about his promise to his father that he would return home to put his name in the running for the throne when it was time for his father to step down. He tells her about the fights and trials that he had to go through to beat out all the other contenders to prove his strength and abilities as a leader and King. And finally, he tells her of how he took the title of King of Almyra and how it took several weeks for him to get everything under control, only to get intelligence that Those Who Slither in the Dark were plotting one last stand, and how he barely had time to muster his army and march at full speed to make it to her side in time.
When he is finished, Byleth is silent and for a moment, he fears that perhaps it is all too much for her. There is a nasty voice in his heart of hearts, quiet though it may be, that whispers that maybe she has decided that she no longer wants to be with him because how can she trust a man whose real name she didn’t even know?
When he finally musters enough courage to meet her eyes again, his heart does a funny little flop in his chest and the back of his eyes burn with the familiar sting of tears.
Byleth may not be a woman of many words, but the firm squeeze of his hand and steady, soft gaze says everything he needs to know.
I understand. And I love you.
He wheezes out a chuckle and brings her hand to his lips, kissing the digits almost reverently. “I wanted to tell you before I proposed to you, but I needed to honor the promises I made to Mother and Baba. Trust me when I say the first thing I did when I went home was ask them to relieve me of those burdens.”
“Did...did they ask why?” Her voice is hesitant, even as the question leaves her tongue.
Goddess, just once he would like to be able to pull the wool over her eyes, but as usual, Teach is sharp on the uptake and Claude really cannot get anything by her.
He reaches up to finger the emerald ring hanging from a silver chain around her neck, dragging out the silence as long as possible before giving the answer he knows she is dreading.
“I maaaay have told them that I had a certain special someone in mind that I wanted to introduce them to...” His sentence trails off into laughter as he watches the horror creep into his beloved’s expression.
Byleth Eisner. The Ashen Demon. The first leader of the United Kingdom of Fodlan. The Hero of Fodlan.
Claude finds it hilarious that the woman he loves can carry such daunting titles and face an army head on with no fear, but is absolutely terrified of the idea of meeting her future in-laws.
“Khalid-” he likes the way his real name sounds coming from her lips, even if it is a horrified gasp. “-I can’t. I don’t even know what to do! I’m not a noble and I don’t know anything about etiquette on meeting royalty from a foreign country, much less your parents.”
“Aww, don’t worry Teach! You’ll be perfectly fine, just like when you joined the Alliance Round Table for the first time.” He winks at her, biting his cheek to stop the laughter that is threatening to bubble over.
“In case you’ve forgotten, I also have a country to run. One that you so gladly dumped on my lap before escaping across Fodlan’s Throat.”
She must be desperate now if she is willing to hide behind her duties.
“Not to fret, my dear.” He leans over to place a chaste peck on the tip of her nose, flashing her his signature wink and grin afterwards. “I’ve already cleared it with Seteth. After all, it was the stress from the non stop work that caused you to fall ill in the first place, right? I simply proposed that you could take a month or two off from your duties to relax and recover from your injuries-”
“-I have no injuries-”
“-and maybe come back with me to Almyra for a little vacation.”
While she doesn’t officially reject his proposition, he does receive her reluctant acceptance in the form of several pillows being chucked unceremoniously at his head.
XxXxXxXxX
I’M TERRIBLE AT WRITING ENDINGS. I promise I’ll come back later to fix this one up too. 
Hope you all liked chapter 2!!
Note: I did NOT get this out before midnight. It is currently 1:56AM.
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larryfanficwriter98 · 3 years
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Chapter Thirteen
*Fake It Until You Make It Real*
This can be very emotional and even triggering to some people however there is nothing bad that happens except a child having an emotional reaction to a shitty situation. 
Sunday morning Harry woke up early but had taken one look at Louis curled up against his chest and had promptly pushed any thoughts of leaving the bed out of his head. As if sensing Harry's change of plans Louis curled up closer to him in his sleep. Harry kept am arm around Louis' waist as he grabbed his phone and lowered the brightness down so it didn't wake Louis up. He had a message from Gem and when he opened it he saw screenshots of his and Louis' social media profiles and a message under them.
Now that we've met him and definitely approve I think it's time to make it official don't you little bro? Go on and slap it on social media, make sure to post pictures with his butt visible. 😉👌
Harry shook his head but knew his sister was right. It was time to make it social media official and so he headed to Facebook and updated his relationship status to engaged and sent a relationship request to Louis. He then went to Instagram and updated his bio so it said he was engaged to Louis. After that was done he locked his phone and grabbed the remote turn the TV on keeping it at a low volume as Louis slept.
"Well this is nice. You should definitely stay in bed more often." Louis said thirty minutes later as he looked at Harry.
"I'm thinking about it. Though I might need some persuasion." Louis leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to Harry's lips before he laid back down and cuddling closer to him. Harry honestly just enjoyed the cuddling, it had been a long time since he has cuddled someone. He knew there was a good portion of people awake downstairs, could hear their voices, but he had no desire to get out of his warm bed.
"We should get down there. We're being bad hosts." Louis said
"I know." Harry groaned before he was trying to motivate himself out of bed. It didn't work right away but eventually he was rolling out of bed and getting himself ready for the day. Louis doing the same a few minutes later. Louis stole one of Harry's sweaters and Harry grinned as he watched the way the extra fabric moved around as he brushed his teeth while Harry waited for him to finish. He also not so subtly watched him bend over the sink to spit out the tooth paste. Once he was done they headed downstairs together to see everyone was awake.
"Good morning. Jay and I made breakfast for everyone. Should be still warm." Anne greeted them
"You didn't have to do that. I was awake you just had to come and get me." Harry said
"Yeah but Louis looked comfortable when I saw you two so I didn't want to wake him."
"Harry gets out of bed every morning without waking me. I'm sure he would have managed." Louis said sending a glare towards Harry as he headed into the kitchen.
"He doesn't like it when I leave the bed. Says I take all the heat with me and it forces him out of bed." Harry told them as he sat in the oversized chaise while Louis headed into the kitchen.
"So we never did get to talk about the wedding. Have you picked a location? The flowers? The time? The honeymoon? Y'know Brazil is beautiful I know you loved it last time we visited as a family. Remember you wanted to stay at the pink place."
"I'm pretty sure Harry wanted to live there when he was twenty." Gemma said
"Louis and I have decided to take the kids on a holiday with us, a family vacation. As soon as the judge approves it which my lawyers says there isn't any reason why he wouldn't, I'll get it ran by the school. I think we've decided on Orlando there's Disney, Universal, SeaWorld, and other big things to do with kids and such. Then during spring break or the summer holidays we'll take a week away together somewhere else."
"I haven't agreed to that yet." Louis said from the kitchen
"I'll hogtie you." Harry told him, "Don't worry I'll have him in a hut on a beach without kids eventually. Or in a hotel right beside the Iguazu Falls in Brazil or Argentina."
"Or a summer trip with the kids." Louis said
"Or a private trip with a promise of loud uninterrupted-"
"Harold." Louis warned making their families laugh when Harry put his hands up in surrender.
"I was going to say playtime."
"That's even worse."
"How about the hokey pokey in our birthday suit?" Louis laughed loudly
"If you have to pokey the hokey then you're clearly doing it wrong Harry." Anne said
"Maybe we like to pokey the hokey mother." Harry said throwing a balled up piece of paper at her as Louis walked into the room shaking his head. He sat across Harry's lap so his back was pressed against the arm of the chaise. His plate of food piled high sat on his lap and his mug of tea was set on the coffee table.
"For the record if you ever poke me we're getting a divorce." Louis told him
"You ruin all of my fun. You won't have sex with me with our mothers here and you won't let me play hokey pokey with you naked. Next you'll be telling me I can't wear a lace teddy around the house with the kids home."
"Absolutely not." Louis said shaking his head as he cut into the pancake, "at least not while the kids are home." Harry laughed
"You're restricting my teddy wearing time. Geesh. I think I purposed too soon." Louis stabbed a piece of pancake and offered it to Harry watching as he leaned forwards and ate the piece off the fork.
***
After breakfast Louis was in the kitchen with Anne and Jay as they cleaned up from yesterday and breakfast. A loud banging came from the door causing them to jump from the suddenness.
"Are you guys expecting company?" Anne asked
"Not that I know of." Louis said as he dried his hands and headed to the front door. Louis unlocked the bolt and pulled the door open. He pulled his eyebrows together confused when he saw a police officer, Hannah, and her boyfriend standing there.
"Are you Mr. Styles?"
"No, but I am his fiancé why?"
"Can we come in?" Louis hesitated looking back for Harry but he still wasn't inside so he nodded and allowed them into the entry way closing the door behind them, "Does your fiancé still have his daughter here?"
"Yes of course. He has her for the week per her mother's....request."
"That's a lie I told him he could have her for Halloween, but he had to bring her back home Halloween night. I gave him last night out of kindness, but now I still don't have my daughter and I'm starting to worry about her. I have texts between him and I saying he wouldn't give her back. It's why I called the police." Hannah said tearfully, Louis laughed unable to help himself.
"First off Harry has it on video of you telling him to keep her for the week or not at all. Secondly Harry hasn't had his phone on him all morning. I do because he asked me to go get for him from the bedroom but then he went outside with the kids so he never got it from me. Thirdly any text Harry has gotten I haven't responded to or looked at because it's none of my business. Fourth call the number you were texting because I guarantee it won't ring Harry's phone."
"Hey what's going on?" Harry asked jogging up to them, "I thought you were going to America this week?" He said looking at Hannah.
"Mr. Styles, Miss. Carpenter claims you were suppose to take your daughter back home last night and that you are threatening her through texts of keeping your daughter from her."
"I don't even have my phone on me and Hannah and I don't text. Everything is on the phone or in person. Our lawyers demanded it since anyone could be Hannah in my phone and anyone could be me in hers. Any communications we have is to be recorded and sent to our respective lawyers. This isn't the first time Hannah has tried to charge me with parental kidnapping."
"I'm going to have to make sure that's the truth. Hand over your phone."
"Wait you're not even going to call the number she was texting. Make sure it was his phone in the first place." Louis asked the officer paused and looked at Louis before he turned to Hannah who looked offended by just the idea of it.
"Excuse me. We are here for my daughter."
"I have to investigate both sides of the story. Find out who is lying. Give me your phone please."
"No we are here to get my daughter from Harry and take her home not for you to turn around and accuse me just because my ex boyfriend's fuck toy spoke. Besides he shouldn't even be involved in this conversation."
"Louis is my fiancé and has every right to be here. So unless Daniel is leaving, Louis stays. Look I can show you the video where Hannah told me I have her for the week." Harry said but the officer shook his head
"It won't matter. She has custody and you have no legal visitation or right to have her in your house if the mother doesn't want her here. Unfortunately that means she can press charges for parental kidnapping if you don't let her take her daughter." The officer said looking like he didn't want to be the one telling Harry those words, "I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to go get your daughter and let her mother take her home."
"Okay." Harry said softly
"Okay?" Louis said shocked
"Louis please. If I fight or argue it can look bad on me. The judge won't look at the body cam footage and see a father wanting to see his daughter for more than a day, he's going to see a big man yelling at, not only a woman, but the mother of his child. That is all he is going to see. That is all they ever see because she has sob stories prepared to make me look bad. I have lost a lot of cases because I fought too hard, because I raised my voice, because she cried in my presence. I can't do anything except comply I can't have a parental kidnapping charge while fighting for visitation." Harry said gently, "can you please just go get Maddie for me?" Louis wanted to argue, wanted to yell and curse at Hannah because how dare she stand there smirking while she took Harry's daughter away just because. How dare she call herself a mother. But Louis nodded pressing a quick kiss to Harry's cheek and headed to the glass sliding doors watching Maddie and Freddie running and laughing on the playset.
"Maddison can you come here for a minute?" Louis asked just loud enough to be heard over the laughter filling the backyard. Maddison and Freddie looked his way before they ran up to him with large smiles and red faces, "come on Maddison, Freddie stay out here with Zayn alright?" Louis said as he felt Zayn squeeze past him with a reassuring squeeze to his shoulder.
"Come on Freddie bet you can't run faster than me." Louis owed Zayn a nice dinner as he watched Freddie run off yelling after him. He gently led Maddison inside the house and closed the glass door and led her to where Harry was with Hannah, Daniel, and the officer.
"I will have these screenshots and body camera sent to your respective lawyers so they each have a copy for the court meeting." The officer was saying
"Thank you." Harry said shaking his hand before he turned to them, "hey princess you have to go with your mom."
"What? Why?" Maddie asked looking between Harry and Hannah, "you promised. You promised I'd stay with Daddy all week." Maddie said looking at Hannah
"Yes well I've changed my mind now come on we need to go. We still have to pick up the cookies from the shop for career day tomorrow. Remember."
"You're not going to career day tomorrow?" Louis asked looking at Harry who clearly knew nothing about it.
"Mom says daddy has to work." Maddie told Louis
"I'm off tomorrow. What's career day?"
"It doesn't matter Daniel is going. He is with her everyday after all. Much more her dad than you are. Come on Maddie we are leaving." Hannah said grabbing Maddie's wrist only for Maddie to yank it out of her grip.
"YOU LIED! YOU SAID YOU CALLED DADDY AND HE SAID HE COULDN'T COME! IM NOT LEAVING! IT'S NOT FAIR!" Maddie yelled
"You are leaving right now come on." Hannah snapped grabbing Maddie's arm again.
"NO! NO NO NO NO NO! NO!" Maddie screamed fighting out of her mother's grip, "DADDY! DADDY PLEASE! SHE SAID A WEEK! SHE PROMISED!"
Louis had tears in his eyes as he watched this beautiful little girl fall apart in a way only a child in a such a bad situation could. She was crying, screaming, kicking, flailing, doing everything she could to fight off Hannah. Louis looked at Harry and could see the pain in his face as he tried to make her let go of him when she hugged his waist begging him to keep her.
"Maddison that is enough. Stand up and let's go." Hannah said
"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Maddie screamed as she was dragged out of the house, "DADDY! DADDY PLEASE! SHE PROMISED A WEEK! SHE PROMISED! DADDY! LET ME GO! LOULOU! LOUIS! LOUIS DON'T LET HER TAKE ME! LOUIS PLEASE!" Louis took a step forward fully prepared to go to jail to stop Maddie's pain but a strong arm wrapped around his waist and kept him there.
"Harry let me go. Harry let go of me." Louis hissed pushing his arm off of him and running outside, he pulled Maddie into tight loving hug before Hannah could put her in the car, "It'll be okay. Hush darling it'll be okay. Relax. Deep breaths. There you go. Easy breathing...there you go." Louis whispered gently as he rubbed her shaking back.
"She promised. She promised a week."
"I know but it's not your daddy's fault, sweetie. Now tell me what you want your daddy to bake for your class."
"C-C-C-Cookie dough cup-cupcakes." Maddie said between sniffles, hiccups, and heavy breaths from her crying and screams.
"Okay. I'll tell him. He loves you and so do I. It'll be okay." Louis stood up and kissed her head then without even turning towards Hannah he headed back inside the house.
Harry was sitting on the floor crying just as hard as Maddie had been a few moments ago. Louis slid into his lap and hugged his neck feeling his arms wrap around his waist and his sobs wet the sweater Louis was wearing.
"Don't you ever hold me back when my child yells for me like that again." Louis said as gently and a softly as he could so Harry knew he wasn't mad at him. Harry didn't respond, not that Louis expected him to, he just sat there holding Louis as he cried and Louis sat there holding Harry rubbing his back and trying to do whatever he could to soothe him. They sat there well over an hour before Harry stood up and headed upstairs with a soft click  of a door closing. Only then did Louis let his own tears fall as he sat between Anne and his mom.
****
Harry only came down briefly to say goodbye to their families and he tried to apologize to Louis' family, but his mother out a stop to that immediately. When they had left Harry had kissed Louis' cheek then headed back upstairs. Louis understood that Harry wasn't in the right space to be out so he didn't mind doing the last few things that needed done before Freddie came back. Zayn had texted saying he was feeding Freddie then would bring him back and from there they would decide if he should take him overnight. So yes Louis definitely owed Zayn for today. Louis had just sat down when the front door opened and Zayn and Freddie came in.
"I'm sorry." Louis said looking at Zayn
"Don't worry about it. I can't even imagine what you two are feeling."
"She yelled for me. Cried and screamed for me. I felt useless. Harry hasn't left the bedroom except to say goodbye and he tried to apologize to my mom. I can't imagine it. I can't- my heart hurts." Louis said stubbornly wiping his eyes before Freddie saw
"Do you want me to take him for the night and take him to nursery? I don't mind and it wouldn't be the first time I kept him an extra night."
"Do you mind? It's just Harry will want to make Maddie's cupcakes and-"
"Say no more. Go take little man to say goodnight to Harry and I'll pack him a bag." Louis nodded calling for Freddie and heading upstairs with him as he told him he would be staying with Zayn.
"We're going to tell Harry goodnight okay?"
"Okay." Freddie said cheerfully opening the door and running to the bed climbing up on it , "hi Harry Papa is letting me stay with Zayn on a school night so I came to say goodnight to you before I leave."
"He is? That sounds like so much fun. I bet Zayn will let you stay up an extra hour if you ask him." Harry said
"I bet so too. I'll miss you though but I guess I'll just see you tomorrow because we live here now so I won't miss you too much." Harry chuckled
"I hope you have a lovely time tonight Freddie and you give this to Zayn. Put it in his hand and yell no takebacks and run away got it?" Harry said as he grabbed a bundle of 50s and handed it to Freddie.
"Okay."
"Tell him to buy art supplies or pizza or beer or a night buddy. It's his to do with what he wants. No take backs alright?"
"You got it Harry. Goodnight."
"Goodnight squirt." Louis chuckled as he followed Freddie downstairs where he did as Harry told put the cash bundle in his hand and yelled no takebacks then ran outside to the car. Louis could hear Harry laughing from upstairs as Zayn glared at them.
"Louis I can't-"
"You can and you will. Look I promise you that is the lowest bundle in the house so if you don't take that one he'll just give you one that's bigger. Seriously just go on and get out of here and have fun and spend it on yourself mister." Louis said pushing Zayn out of the house and locking the door behind him laughing as he watched Zayn glare at him through the window. He waited until they had left before he headed upstairs and saw Harry was sitting up in the bed now rubbing at his face with his sweater.
"I'm sorry. I just...I couldn't socialize anymore."
"Hey it's okay. Trust me my family didn't even care you were up here after that. The only reason they stayed so long because we all cleaned up so you didn't have to."
"I know and I feel bad. They were guests they shouldn't-"
"My mom was feeling useless not cleaning something, she was ready to beat you if you didn't let her help. She didn't mind. No one did. It's okay they still think you're amazing."
"Okay...alright...tell me what I gotta do." Harry said rubbing his face again.
"She said she wanted cookie dough cupcakes."
"Figures. I made them a few months ago for her birthday, I saw her a few weeks after her birthday and I baked her a cupcake of her choice. I need to run to the store real quick but I have mostly everything here."
"Okay. What do you need me to do."
"Relax. I need you to relax. Lay in bed, go to sleep, lay on the couch, whatever it is, just relax. You've done enough today."
"I want to help."
"And you will when I need you to so for now take a nap because this might take a few hours."
"Alright. I'll nap on the couch."
"Good." Harry kissed his forehead as he stood up and they headed downstairs together. Louis made up his spot on the couch and laid down while Harry got the recipe and checked his ingredients. He gave Louis a kiss before he headed out of the house and to the store. Louis fell asleep shortly after that as Titanic played on the TV.
****
Making the cupcakes didn't take as long as Louis had feared, but he was definitely regretting it Monday morning as he sat in the passenger seat of the Murano while Harry drove to the school. Louis had explained to Harry that career day was an all day event, hence the snacks, a few students were assigned a good a beverage like Maddie and a few others were assigned desserts. A few others were assigned drinks and lunch and stuff like that. There were thirteen students each year one class so the forty cupcakes were more than enough for Maddie's class and they would have extra to bring home which Louis was excited about. When they got to the school building Louis walked with Harry to Maddie's classroom. Maddie was sitting at a round table with her chin held in her hand as she kicked her feet.
"There she is." Louis said quietly pointing at her watching as Harry grinned when he spotted her as well. Louis said a quick hi to Maddison before he headed to his class as Harry sat in a too small chair at a too small table with Maddie. Turns out career day was much more than just talking about your job, at least for this classroom, there were coloring sheets and recommended questions to ask. It was very thought out and Harry had never been more happy to be so uncomfortable especially when the teacher had given Maddie a stack of papers about doctors to pass out to the students and parents.
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purrincess-chat · 5 years
Text
Kill Em With Kindness CH2
Thank you all so much for 3.5k (and growing)! You are all so wonderful, and I’m glad that you all enjoy my content enough to stick around and follow. I have a lot of plans for the future, and I just hope that you all will like them! Here is part two of this next spite filled adventure.
The opening scene and really this whole fic were inspired by lenore’s post from forever ago after Chameleon came out so shouts out! Also, I know several of you wanted me to tag you when I updated this, and I will do my best to get everyone, but I suggest getting an AO3 account and subscribing to the fic there instead. You’ll get an email whenever I update, and I always post on AO3 first before tumblr. 
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Chapter 2
“You know, when you made these plans with Adrien, I thought you meant to be nice,” Tikki said chidingly in the bathroom as Marinette washed her hands several days later.
“I am being nice,” Marinette said with an innocent pout.
“You put a ‘Coping with loss’ book on Lila’s desk yesterday.”
“She said her hamster died.”
“And the safety glasses by the napkins in the cafeteria?” Tikki cocked a brow.
“Max was worried about losing an eye.”
“You did your science presentation on tinnitus.”
“Well, after the music festival with Juleka’s mom, I was worried about our hearing.” Marinette snatched a paper towel from the dispenser and dried her hands.
“Your history report on the greatest liars and cheats in history?”
“I became fascinated with P.T. Barnum’s life after that movie and finishing with a comparison of Volpina and Rena Rouge was just a modern-day example everyone could identify with.” Tikki gave her a look. “I got a standing ovation for that presentation.”
“What about the fact-checking robot you petitioned Max to make?”
“For Alya for her birthday! I’m just trying to help her become a better journalist because I’m a good friend.” Marinette placed her hands on her hips haughtily.
“Speaking of Alya, you’ve been telling her to just hang out with Nino lately.”
“She said she wanted to spend more time with him. I’m just being supportive of their relationship,” she shrugged.
“Marinette,” Tikki sighed.
“What? We can’t expose Lila, so we’re just playing along until she inevitably exposes herself which I will watch probably with popcorn,” Marinette said with a laugh. “It’s called kill em with kindness.”
“It’s called being petty.”
“Semantics,” Marinette waved it away, but Tikki was unamused. “Look, I can’t beat Lila at lies. She just makes more, so I’ve come up with another plan that doesn’t harm anyone and keeps everyone from getting mad at me for calling her out. I mean, you saw what happened the other day when she got me expelled. Scarlet Moth almost made a comeback, and I was on the frontlines.”
“I guess we can’t let that happen again…” Tikki reasoned, tapping her chin.
“Exactly. Lila wants everyone to believe those things, so I’m just gonna let her keep falling down the rabbit hole until she eventually hits the bottom,” Marinette said with a twisted grin. “If I happen to push her a little deeper along the way then so be it.”
“That’s very underhanded of you, Marinette.”
“I don’t like it when people use my friends and threaten me.” Marinette clenched her fists. “She almost got me akumatized multiple times now, and we can’t ever let that happen.”
“You’re right. Just be careful,” Tikki advised.
“Don’t worry, Tikki. Coming up with solutions is my superpower.” She winked as her phone buzzed in her pocket with an akuma alert. “Speaking of, we have a city to save. Tikki, transform me!”
***
“Ladybug!” Alya waved her down after the battle, brandishing her cell phone. “Do you have time for a quick interview?”
“A little,” she said with a shrug. “Make it quick.”
“Okay, okay, many of my viewers want to know what advice you have to help people stay positive to avoid being akumatized,” Alya began, pressing record.
“Well, I would recommend changing your perspective a little. Instead of being bummed out about failing a test, maybe commit to studying harder next time. If you get into a fight with your friends, just take a deep breath and remember that if they’re your real friends, they’ll forgive you.” Ladybug replied, placing her hands on her hips. “And if you do get akumatized, don’t make a big deal out of it. Chat Noir and I will always be there to save you. Negative emotions are a part of life just like positive ones, and everyone can have a bad day, even me.”
“Next question, with the passing of Hero’s Day, my viewers want to know what they can do to help you and Chat Noir.”
“Just do your best every day. Lift each other up instead of tearing each other down and do your best to help others who need it,” she said with a smile.
“My friend Marinette is like that, always helping others and helping us stay positive,” Alya remarked, and Ladybug bit back a smirk.
“I think I’ve met her a few times. She’s alerted me of a few akumas here and there.” She tapped her chin with a coy smile. “Not everyone has superpowers like me and Chat Noir, but there are a lot of ways to help out in your school, in your community, or even in your own home just like your friend. I think that everyone should strive to be a Marinette.”
She pressed a hand to her earrings as they beeped and palmed her yoyo, flashing Alya a peace sign. “Gotta go before I change back.”
“Thank you for your time, Ladybug!” Alya bounced on her heels, clutching her phone to her chest as Ladybug tossed her yoyo over the roof.
“Bug out!”
***
When Lila walked through the doors of the library that afternoon, she stopped short when her eyes locked with Marinette’s sitting at the table with Max. They held that same taunting innocence that made Lila’s blood boil, and she knew this was another one of her “nice” schemes.
“Oh, Lila, there you are,” she greeted with a smile, and Lila did her best to suppress an eye roll. “You haven’t been doing so well in class, so I’ve asked everyone to pitch in helping you catch up. Max is here to help you with your maths and science, Rose has agreed to help you with Literature, Sabrina can help you out with history, and then Nathaniel said he would be more than happy to help you with the art project we have due next week.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary. Adrien agreed to help me,” Lila said, waving it away. “He should be here any minute.”
“Actually, he had a pop-up fencing lesson with Kagami this afternoon. She insisted because her mother is so hard on her to improve her technique, and Adrien is the only opponent who challenges her enough, so he just couldn’t say no,” Marinette explained.
“Adrien does score well across the board on all of his exams; however, his schedule guarantees an 87.96% chance that you won’t get sufficient help in order to pull your grades up in time, so Marinette reached out to the rest of us to step in on his behalf so you don’t fail the semester,” Max stated, and Marinette smiled sweetly beside him.
“As class representative, I’m just looking out for the needs of everyone,��� she said, standing up. “Thanks again for your help, Max.”
“No problem, Marinette.” Max waved it away. “Oh, and I will have prototype designs for that software you asked me for later this week.”
“Awesome! You’re the best, Max!” Marinette clasped her hands together cheerfully. “Good luck, Lila, and let me know if you need any more help.”
Lila offered her a forced smile before her face fell into a scowl.
“Have fun at movie night!” Max called, waving as she left.
“Movie night?” Lila quirked a brow.
“Yes, many of our classmates are convening to watch movies at Kim’s house this evening, but seeing as it’s a movie I’ve already seen, I agreed to help you catch up on your studies tonight instead,” Max explained, pulling out his textbooks. “I’ve assembled 100 maths problems for us to work covering each section of material that you missed while you were traveling then I have a PowerPoint reviewing over our particle physics unit from last term-”
Lila glared at the door Marinette had gone through, gripping her pencil with white knuckles. She wasn’t quite sure what game Marinette was playing with her, but she was definitely up to something. No matter, she wasn’t about to be defeated so easily. After all, she had Gabriel Agreste on her side.
***
“How did Lila react to Max?” Adrien asked as Marinette grabbed a juice from the snack table.
“She looked half ready to strangle me,” Marinette replied, popping the tab and taking a sip.
“There isn’t going to be a lot I can do if my father decides to use her in photoshoots again, but I’ll help you in any way that I can outside of that,” he said, grabbing a cookie.
“What are you two whispering about?” Alya asked with a smirk, and they both stiffened.
“Uh, I was just asking Marinette if she wanted to sit with me during the movie,” Adrien said, nudging Marinette with his elbow.
“Y-Yeah, I- of course. You don’t mind, do you, Alya?” Marinette fumbled, and her friend gave a proud beam.
“Not at all. I was actually on my way to tell you that I want to sit with Nino.” She winked.
“Great. Then it’s settled.” Adrien waved as they moved to their bean bags.
“How did she sneak past your father anyway? I thought he was some impenetrable wall?” She asked, and Adrien threw his head back with a sigh.
“Your guess is as good as mine. Is it wrong I kind of wish she’d teach me?” He chuckled, popping a popcorn kernel into his mouth.
“Your dad let you come to this, didn’t he?” Marinette pointed out, but Adrien averted his gaze guiltily.
“I’m technically supposed to be meeting with my Chinese tutor right now, but I may have told him I lost my voice while also telling Gorilla that this was his address,” Adrien admitted, tapping his chin with an impish grin.
“Sneaky,” Marinette complimented, but he curled his shoulders.
“I feel kind of bad disobeying him, but all I want to do is see my friends. What’s so wrong with that?” He shrugged, and Marinette offered him a smile.
“Nothing, and I’m sure your dad will come around eventually,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Thanks, Marinette. I really hope so.” He smiled weakly, his gaze softening on her. “You really are the kindest girl at school. Lila won’t know what hit her.”
Marinette bit back a smile, cheeks pink and heart pounding.
“Ya know, Adrien, maybe if your dad ever allows it we could-”
“Lila, Max, you made it!” Kim called, and Marinette felt her blood run cold.
“I’m a really fast learner,” Lila said, shooting Marinette a pointed glare, and her jaw clenched as Nathalie entered through the doorway beside her. “Oh, Adrien, I ran into Nathalie on the way over. She was worried about where you were, so I told her we could check here for you.”
“Adrien, you’re supposed to be at Chinese right now,” Nathalie scolded, and Adrien stiffened, face falling. “If you come now, I won’t tell your father about this.”
“Yes, Nathalie,” he said glumly, shooting Marinette an apologetic wince. “I’ll see you at school.”
“I’m sorry, Adrien. I didn’t realize you’d get in trouble.” Lila winced, pressing a hand to her lips in an ‘oops’ manner. “Nathalie said your father was worried.”
“It’s okay, Lila. It’s my fault,” Adrien said as he passed, head hung low as he made his way out with Nathalie.
When the door closed behind them, Lila curled her shoulders and turned to everyone with a pout.
“I’m sorry. I feel like I ruined everything. I didn’t realize that Adrien was here without permission,” she said, covering her face.
“Don’t sweat it, Lila. You didn’t know,” Nino assured her, and she peeked over her hands.
“I hope he doesn’t get into too much trouble,” she fretted, but Nino waved it away.
“Nah, Nathalie totally sticks up for him. If she says she won’t tell, then she won’t,” he said, and Lila relaxed a little.
“That’s a relief,” she sighed.
“Well, since Adrien had to bounce, why don’t you take his seat next to Marinette? You two have been getting along so great lately,” Alya suggested, pointing to the empty beanbag beside Marinette, and Lila flicked her gaze to meet Marinette’s with a grin.
“Do you mind, Marinette?” She asked, a challenging glint in her eye as if to say, ‘your move.’
“Not at all.” Marinette smiled sweetly as Lila paced over to sit down, and her phone buzzed in her pocket with a text from Adrien.
Well, looks like we have our work cut out for us.
Marinette glanced at Lila out of the corner of her eye, chatting with Rose about Kitty Section before typing a quick reply.
So it would seem.
*sigh here we go*
Tagging: @teresarosiadeviluke2112 @sam-spectra @posyfoot @captain-rice @aloeveraspeaks @somethingelsefine @crazylittlemunchkin @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @rlv29 @kaleigh-girlonfire @kokoa-vb @fanwarrior-at-your-service @liebredavinci @starberry-mina @dalandana @rose-sparks13 @foreverblindedbystars @a-6-yearold-inside @redheadeddemon16 @deerestaurelia @graduatedmelon @janaikam @zatanni @shamefulllove @lunar-wolf-warrior @french-dog-joke @magnitude101999 @pinkittwice @musicallylara @summersprit-sims @timelinegodabandoned @patronusxcharms @azureocean33 @zazzlejazzle 
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momofaddict · 4 years
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Thanksgiving day this year will be one year since my daughter lost her life to heroin OD. I've lost what little faith I had. I do believe in an afterlife, because the idea of NEVER seeing her again is unfathomable. But God, Heaven, Hell - they just seem like a fairy tale.
It still doesn't feel real, except that it feels very real as I raise her now 18 mo child. I love him with every fiber of my being, but as anyone who reads this knows, my plans for being a relaxed, traveling empty nester are gone. Maybe that's selfish, but I can accept that.
I'm so mad at her for leaving me and especially for leaving her child. I'm mad that my life, as I planned it, is gone. I'm mad that Phoenix's father killed himself 4 days after my daughter's death and I have to explain both deaths to him someday. I'm mad that I will have to face his full-blooded sister one day & explain why she was given up for adoption and Phoenix wasn't. I'm so sad and mad about this whole scenario and I'm so alone as a single woman. I was always happy being divorced since age 23. But now - I could really use the help. That's a hard thing to admit.
What's more is I miss my baby girl. She was my very very VERY best friend. I could be my true self with her, even in her addiction. How can life go on without her contagious laugh, her child-like trust in people, and her unique love for humanity? I can't believe it's been a year. If it weren't for her son, who is in my care until my end of days, I'd be so lost. I mean I'm still lost, but he gives me purpose and a means to press onward.
But while I'm unloading, I may as well admit that it's also difficult when I'm having a hard day. I have to put my happy face on when Phoenix gets home from daycare no matter what kind of wretched day I've had at work, or no matter if I just need to crawl into bed and cry for my daughter. I feel like if I project any kind of negativity around him, we will both be miserable. It's just me. My ex helps a couple days a week, but that means dealing with my ex... whom I left 30 years ago! Not fun, but I'd be an even hotter mess without any help at all.
Oh sure, everyone wanted to help at first when Melody died. But those offers are now silent and it's just me - and my ex. Ugh. I'm just exhausted, and sad, and scared, and alone. I miss her, I miss her, I miss her soooo effen much!
WHY HER!?
I finally started therapy. And I got really lucky and I love my new therapist, and found her on the first try. However... I've only had one session with her in four weeks. Week two, she was sick. Week three, I went to Colorado. Week four, yesterday, she canceled again because she has a friend in the hospital. I fucking need this woman to help me!
I leave you with this tribute that my son posted online on her birthday, Sept 8. She would have been 32. I couldn't have given a better description of her spirit and her adorable childlike naivete:
My sister, Melody, absolutely loved infomercials. It bordered on irrational. One year I received one of those copper pans for Christmas, and while I was happy to get it, she didn't think I understood the gravity of the gift I had just been given. "Do you know what that is?" she asked me at the time with complete sincerity and genuine concern that I didn't quite comprehend what an incredible technological wonder I had been given. "You can melt candy on that."
She absolutely had the HD glasses. They made your vision amazing. OxyClean, sure. Slap Chop, absolutely. It did not matter what was being sold; every product was solid gold, including when it was literally solid gold.
I know it seems silly to bring this up on what would have been her 32nd birthday today, but I think it says something important about her and who she was. She believed in people. It's not that she necessarily believed the products worked as advertised. It's that she believed in the ideas of making things better that they represented, and she believed that the people making the pitch believed in what they were pitching.
She could fully and wholeheartedly empathize with those complete strangers. So much more then, could she love, empathize with and believe in the people lucky enough to know her personally. She was somehow everyone's friend that they talked to on the side of a party or gathering they were starting to feel uncomfortable or out of place at. She made it seem so easy, which is what makes the next part so cruel.
She also suffered from heroin addiction for over a decade. It is the reason I keep using the god forsaken past tense instead of the present.
I have a lot of very bad memories from all of that time. I cried a lot then. I cry a lot still.
Please, if you know someone that suffers from addiction, don't write them off. This is not to say you should enable their addiction. Just encourage rehab and support groups. There are also support groups for friends and family members of people suffering from addiction. Addiction, whether it is to drugs, money, gambling, work, or any other flavor is a disease, and it desperately needs treatment. You don't have to go it alone, and, take it from someone who tried to, you shouldn't. It'll eat you alive.
In the end, though, don't feel sad for me. If you were fortunate enough to know my sister, you probably got, what, a few years? A decade? I got thirty one whole damn years.
I love you, Melody, and I miss you every god damn day.
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