#all of these chapters have me tearing up and crying i swear
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The Nanny
Pairing: Rafe x Nanny Reader
Summary: Being Wheezie's nanny was great. The only downside was dealing with the oldest Cameron, Rafe. What happens when his fascination with the nanny becomes a reality?
Warnings: Angst, hurt, slight mentions of toxic family, (let me know if I missed any)
Wc: 6.2K
A/N: I'm sorry in advance for any heart ache
Chapter 6: Living for a Sunny day
“Who was that?” Sofia asks. Rafe just stands there watching you walk off, looking around meeting the eyes of everyone watching. A hand lands on his chest, the voice swatting the haze away in his mind. “Rafe, who was that?” He looks down to look at Sofia, he notices how her eyes don’t have the same golden flecks yours do. He searches her face trying to find something that would chase the thoughts of you out of his mind. Coming up short Rafe takes her hand off his chest, moving out of her grasp. “I gotta go.”
“Are you serious right now? You’re just going to run off to some other chick?” Sofia’s words rub Rafe the wrong way. Couldn’t she see that she was the other chick not the other way around. “Yeah I am. She’s not the other chick you are.” Rafe starts to chase after you, the bodies of people making it hard to get through. When he gets to the parking lot he can’t find your car. Knowing that you are probably home he gets in his truck, racing out to the street. The car ride was filled with silence, the only noise coming from his thoughts that won’t stop.
How could you fuck this up? This is why you are worthless, can’t even stop yourself from being stupid. Worthless that’s all he is. Not enough for his fathers love, his sisters, now you, he will never be good enough. His fist slaps on the wheel, the coke in his system fueling the rage he already feels inside him. The lights of the streets are just blurs due to how fast he’s going, not caring that he could be pulled over. He needs to see you. At least explain to you why he did it. You have to understand right?
Tanny Hill comes into view, all the lights are out making him more nervous. Getting inside the house he doesn’t hear anything but your car is still in the driveway. The walk to the front door to the second floor where your room is takes forever. At the top of the stairs he can hear some music, so faint that it barely caught his attention. He knocks on the door then again when you don’t answer. “Please open the door. We need to talk.” Silence. The only sign of life on the other side coming from your music. Rafe jiggles the door knob, trying to force his way in. “Come on sunny open the fucking door.” Nothing.
Rafe’s fist starts pounding on the door, the other still trying to open it. “Open this fucking door right not. I swear to god I will knock it off its hinges.” His voice is shouting now, his side making contact with the door. “It didn’t even mean anything. Are you really going to just ignore me over something so fucking stupid.” The more you ignore him, the harder it is for him to keep his cool. He kicks the door only stopping once he hears you crying. Placing his forehead on the door he takes a deep breath. “Please, baby. Just…just open the door.”
On the other side you are curled in a ball, hands over your ears trying to block the noise out. Flashbacks to when your father would yell at you come rushing back. Every argument playing in your head only makes the tears worse. “Please.” It sounds so pathetic, the pleading in his voice. He’s like a little kid again, begging his dad to love him, to show him any ounce of compassion after his mother died. “Please don’t leave me Sunny.” He stands there for a few minutes, waiting to see if you will finally open the door for him. When he realizes that you won't, he breaks.
Tears well in his eyes as he backs up, going to his room to regulate himself. The door slams behind him, shaking the frame. Rafe’s pacing around, his hand digging into his head, slapping himself to get out of this. Nothing works. The tears are now falling, staining his cheeks before he has a chance to wipe them away. Walking further into the room he notices something on his bedside table, it was empty this morning just a picture frame on it. Walking close he sees it’s the necklace. He picks it up, the burning in his eyes and throat intensifying. He slams the necklace back down, grabbing the frame and throwing it against the far wall. “FUCK!” He goes around the room, grabbing whatever he can just to throw it. Thinking if he can’t let the anger out everything will be fine in the morning.
The room is a mess. Broken glass liters the floor, stabbing into the soles of his shoes but he doesn’t care. He lays in his bed, the same sheets for when you both slept there. They still smell like you. He grabs the pillow you slept on, hugging it to his chest to get some comfort in you. Knowing that what he did would change the relationship for the worst. He falls asleep wishing that the night never happened, that he just waited for you instead of going to the bonfire by himself. No matter how much he wished for it, nothing will change. In the morning he will still be the failure he always was.
You wait until you can’t hear anything from the other end of the hall. Slowly getting up you start to pack a bag. Throwing whatever you can find into it and quietly leave your room. You sneak past his room down the stairs willing your footsteps to be quiet enough so he won’t hear. Making it out of the house you race to your car, starting it and leaving before he notices that you left. You can’t go back home, you still haven’t talked to your parents after you said you won’t be given them money. The texts you sent were left unanswered letting you know that you don’t have a place there anymore. If you’re honest you only think they kept talking to you because you would give them everything they asked.
You just drive not really knowing where you will go. You guess that sleeping in the car would be fine but you would rather not have cops knocking on your window and running off to tell Ward. The next thought is Sarah. She’s most likely at John B’s with the rest of the pogues. Before you even know it you are parked in front of his house, then out the car and knocking on the door. If anyone saw the tears on your face they didn’t mention it, welcoming you with open arms.
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The sun creeps in through the windows, beaming down on your face waking you up. The first thing you notice is the lumpy couch you were sleeping on. Then the dull headache forming behind your eyes, dehydrated from all of the crying. Finally you hear their voices, all of them talking in the kitchen as John B makes the gang something to eat. Your body just lays there, not wanting to get up and face the music. Last night memories flooding into your thoughts. Rafe’s hands all over Sofia, the way he agreed to leave with her. As if he wasn’t just in you a few hours before. Like he didn’t tell you how much he hated the thought of you with someone else. It’s his game isn’t it? He makes a girl feel special and once he’s done with her he’s onto the next. You weren’t any different from them. Why you thought he changed will just continue to be a mystery.
“Sleeping Beauty is up.” JJ’s voice carries into the living room. “Dude shut up.” Kie swats the backside of his head. “Damn my bad.” JJ replies while rubbing where she hit him. You sit up on the couch bringing your legs to your chest as the group makes their way over to you. “Hi.” your voice is weak, it doesn’t even sound like you. They all sit around you, Sarah handing you a glass of water and a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. “Sorry, don't really have much around the place.” You just smile at the Routledge boy thanking him for the food.
“What happened?” Sarah asks. “No, I don’t wanna talk about it.” Everyone just looks at you, sharing glances. “Well, something had to have happened. You came here at 2 o’clock in the morning crying and asking me if you could stay the night something had to happen.” Sarah urges not wanting to press but she’s worried about you. She’s never seen you that upset, the closest time being after a fight with your parents. Even then you refused to talk about it. JJ swings an arm around the back of the couch, his hands rubbing your shoulder. “Come on princess, you can tell us what happened. We don’t bite… unless you are into that.” He winks at you. “Dude really.” Pope chimes in, nudging JJ’s leg with his foot. “What did Rafe do something again?” You scoff “What makes you think it was Rafe?” You argue the words not convincing you as they hit your ears. “Well, do I have to remind you about what happened at the country club? It’s like you two are seeing each other or something.” The room gets quiet, everyone expecting your answer but it never comes. “Oh my God please don’t tell me you slept with Rafe” Sarah asks.
You shrink into yourself trying to hide from their prying eyes. “I didn’t think you’d get this far you know I just thought it was like something fun then it just got better. He just seemed like he actually cared about me. It’s stupid I just thought that it was different, you know?” No one knows what to say. Rafe’s history is no secret, the whole island knows how much of a womanizer he is. They just never expected for you to fall into the same trap, especially after seeing how it never worked. “What did he do?” Kie asks. “I caught him making out with some girl at the bonfire last night.” The room gets silent again. They share looks trying to find something to say to make you feel better. “So you are telling me that after the scene he caused at the club he still fucked this up. Fucking dumbass.”
“Dude” Everyone yells. “Jayj really? That wasn’t necessary.” Kie says as she sandwiches herself between you and JJ. Putting distance between you and his dumb comments. “What? We are all thinking about it. Like come on, he finally gets a chance with her and he goes and hookup with another girl. It’s just so stupid.” He’s right it is stupid. A tear falls down your face and you wipe it. “Jayj is right, it’s stupid.” Sarah sits on the other side of you, pulling you into a hug. “It’s not stupid. Your feelings are never stupid.” Sarah rationalizes, wanting you to know it’s okay to let yourself feel something.
“He just seemed so different. Everything he was saying and doing made me really think he felt something for me.” You pause, taking a sip of water to drown the lump in your throat. “For fucks sake we were with each other for days. I told him things I haven’t told other people.” A sob breaks your sentence. Your emotions winning over causing you to break down in Sarah’s arms. “I know. He always seemed different around you. I’ve never seen him chase a girl the way he chased you.” Kie thinks she’s helping but it only hurts worse. If others saw a difference then what changed? Why would he act like he wanted more only to take that away. To break you in a way no one has managed.
“Want to know what I think?” Pope breaks the silence. “I don’t think you having feelings for him is stupid. You took his actions as him caring for you, there’s nothing wrong with that. He’s the stupid one. He’s going to have to live with the fact that he lost the one person who actually gave him a chance.” He stops for a second, finally looking at you. “He’s going to live with that forever. You are going to find someone better and never think about him again.” You smile are him, the tears blurring out his features. You can make out a shy smile, telling he’s nervous for voicing his thoughts. “Thank you Pope.” You laugh, wiping your tears.
Pope is definitely the smartest out of everyone in this room. But he just found one thing he was wrong about. It doesn’t matter what pain you are feeling at this moment. It can be ten years down the line and you will still think about this. Every memory of him will always find its way to creep back in. His smile will forever be imprinted in your memories. Remembering all the times you were the cause of it. No matter how much you hate Rafe, a piece of you will always love him, and will always miss him.
You pick at the food as you listen to them talk. Happy that they are finally letting it go. When you finish you take your plate to the sink, giving it a rinse before setting it down. “Hey want to go out to the marsh? We can go swimming and have a few beers.” John B shouts out to you. It doesn’t sound like a bad plan. It could be good to go out and actually have fun with some friends. “Sure why not?” The group all cheer, getting up to get ready. You borrowed a bikini from Sarah since you didn’t want to go back to the house. There’s slight bruising on your neck, the hickies Rafe left now starting to fade. You brush your fingers over them before throwing on some clothes, letting your hair down to cover them up.
All of you make your way out to the dock, hopping into the boat and sailing off. The weather was beautiful today. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect, hot but not to the point of suffocating you. “How many beers do you think I can down before dropping off the side of the boat?” JJ laughs, pouring beer into his mouth. Most of it didn’t make it in but it's the thought that counts. “Dude come on. You're going to waste all the beers before we can even drink them.” John B shouts. The waters ripples as the boat keeps pushing further into the marsh. It’s been a while since you’ve been out here.
The last time had to be with some friends in high school, yet again even that was very few. It was hard to get time alone with friends when you were working all the time. Everyday was school, work, homework, and sleep. On the rare occasions that you did have a day off it was usually spent helping out your parents. Cleaning up around the house while they were out doing god knows what. Or worse having to help your dad down from whatever high he was on as your mom ignores it. Thinking if she doesn’t pay attention then it isn’t a problem.
Looking around at the group in front of you is refreshing. There’s not a single person here who wants something from you or expects you to be perfect. They just want you to be you. “Whatcha thinking about.” Sarah grabs your attention as she sits next to you, handing you a beer. “Nothing really. Just glad to have all of you.” She smiles at you, leaning back a little to let the sun warm her face. “He’s an idiot you know.” You both know who she’s talking about, yet neither one of you dare to say his name. “It’s okay Sarah.” It’s all you can really say, nothing else comes to mind. “No, I mean it. He spent the past year trying to get with you and now look at this. You always seemed to make him better. It’s a shame he let that go.” You just stare at her, words failing to form on your tongue. “Plus having you as a sister-in-law would have been pretty cool.”
You both giggle, the tension from your body leaving. It would have been cool being a part of her family. Maybe not with Ward he likes you but he would probably want better for the older Cameron. The rest of the family had no issues welcoming you in. It would have been nice to be a part of a family who actually cares about you, you still are but it’s different. The boat comes to a stop, JJ throws the anchor overboard to keep the boat in place. “Alright everyone, gather around this is your fun guide speaking. Today we have a very special activity for a very special guest. Today we will be getting smashed and partying till we drop.” JJ shouts, throwing off his clothes before jumping in the water.
“Hey smartass! Sorry to break it to you but we definitely don’t have enough beer to get smashed and we aren’t throwing a party.” John B shouts back at JJ. “Come one man. Can’t you just let me live my life. Trying to set a mood here.” They all laugh at the blonde boy ignoring his complaints. “Gross set the mood with someone else Jayj.” Sarah jokes sticking her tongue out at him. The rest of the afternoon was spent like that.
All of you joke around as you swim and drink, relaxing for the day with each other. By the time the sun is starting to set you realize you haven’t thought about Rafe once. Well now you are but it’s good that you can live your life without having a thought of him for a while. Everyone is back on the boat now, going back due to the lack of food that was brought. By lack of food you mean the no food that was brought. The boat ride to Kie’s parents restaurant wasn’t long. All of you quite, too hungry to even speak to one another.
John B parks the boat and you all hop out, walking up the dock to get through the back of the restaurant. “Hey mom.” Kie calls out. “Hey sweetie.” Anna answers from behind the counter. “Let me guess free food?” She eyes the rest of you behind Kie. “I mean it's going to be thrown out at the end of the night. This way we aren't wasting more food than necessary.” Anna just looks at her for a second. She sighs making her way towards the kitchen. “Mike, fire up some food for Kie and her friends please.” SHe turns back to all of you. “Go on and sit. I’ll bring it out once it’s ready.” You all cheer, finding empty seats and sitting in them.
You are all chatting when you hear someone clear their throat behind you. Your shoulders tense for a moment, scared that it’s Rafe. But once you turn around you see that it’s Topper. “Hey.” He says. “Uh hey Topper what's up?” You ask, confused on why he’s talking to you. Your interactions with him consist of when him and Sarah were dating and the few times you ran into him when he’s with Rafe. Besides that the two of you don’t talk. “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second. Privately.” He looks at the group and then at you.
“Why do you need to talk to her?” Kie asks, squinting her eyes at him. “It’s okay Kie.” You reassure her then look back at the boy. He looks so out of place standing there all awkwardly. “Yeah we can go out the back.” You say while getting up. Topper follows you as you make your way to the outdoor seating area. “How are you doing? You know after last night.” He asks. You just roll your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m doing great. Realized I was making a fool of myself but doing good.” He winces at your words. He watched as you left crying last night, then watched as Rafe came running by a few minutes later.
It wasn’t till later on in the night he really found out what happened. Him and Kelce sharing a look once they realized that their earlier conversation actually had an impact on Rafe. Topper actually felt bad for you. He may not have known you well but he did know how sweet you were. When him and Sarah were dating she would always rave about you. Rafe did too but it was always underlined with some infatuation with you. But the way he spoke about you at the bonfire was different then before, he was defensive over you as if he really cared about you.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that’s where he ran off to.” You don’t want to hear the excuses, tired of being lied to. “It’s okay you don’t have to defend him.” Topper cuts you off before you can say anything else. “I’m not trying to defend him, I swear. I just thought he went off to do lines of coke or something. He was literally telling us about you before he went off. I really didn’t know.” It seems like he’s telling the truth, he doesn’t have a reason to lie. “It doesn’t matter. He did what he did and nothing will change it.” Your arms go to hug yourself, needing some comfort.
“He was looking for you earlier. He’s been running around the whole island trying to find you.” Toppers words short circuit your brain. He was looking for you? “Why?” your eyes are trained to the ground not wishing that the ground will swallow you up. “He wants to talk I guess. Said that you don’t have the full story or something like that.” You scoff. “Full story? I caught him making out with a girl just hours after we were together. Just after he told me he doesn’t like seeing me with other guys. He just wanted me to be fully his while he could go do whatever he wanted. I don’t need to hear his excuses and you can tell him that.”
As you walk away Topper calls out to you one last time. “At least let him know you’re alive. He’s been freaking out because all his calls go straight to voicemail and you aren’t answering his texts. He fucked up, I get that but he’s genuinely scared that you’re hurt. I’ve never seen him like this.” You pause and look at him. “I didn’t have my charger with me last night. My phone is probably dead right now.” With that you go back into the restaurant finding that the food has already been brought out.
You sit down at the table, everyone watching as you start to eat your burger. “What did he want?” Pope asks, sipping his water. “Take a wild guess.” You snap back, inhaling sharply once you hear your tone. “Sorry I didn’t mean to be rude.” Pope reaches a hand over the table, grabbing yours and giving it a tight squeeze. “It’s okay. We won’t talk about it again.” Their conversation drowns out, your thoughts too loud to hear what is going on in the outside world. You didn’t even realize you had finished your food or that everyone was waiting on you.
“Why don’t we head back? It’s getting late.” Sarah suggests, her eyes watching you as you gather your things without a word.Throughout the whole process of getting back you are quiet, Topper's words still ringing in your head. He doesn’t truly care that you were gone, he only cared that he couldn’t lie his way out of this mess. Rafe knows that this is over, that last night was the breaking point of the relationship. That’s why he’s scared, he’s scared because nothing will dig him out of the hole he made for himself.
“You can stay the night again if you want. I really don’t mind, I can even kick JJ out of the other room so you can have a bed.” You look at John B as you walk towards the house. “It’s okay really. Ward, Rose, and Wheezie are getting back tomorrow anyway. It would be weird if I wasn’t home when they got there.” There would be questions if you weren’t there, Wheezie would hound you until you told her. As much as it hurts, you could never bring her or the rest of them into this mess. Not only for the safety of your job but more importantly for Rafe. If they found out what he did they would just chastise him further. He may have done bad things but deep down he’s not a bad person.
“If that’s what you want then okay. But call us if you need anything.” He pulls you into a hug, letting go and walking into the house. You go inside and grab your bag, saying a quick goodbye to everyone and heading to your car. Once inside you just sit there, willing yourself to start the engine and drive back to Tanny. After what seems like forever you gain the courage to finally start the car, if only it had the same plan. You twist the key, the car starts to make a weird noise. It sounds like it's starting, the rumbling of the engine goes, then it stops to make a clunking noise. “You have got to be kidding me.” You mumble under your breath, resting your forehead on the wheel. You try your key again and the same thing happens, only this time louder and worse.
A knock on your window startles you, jumping back and grabbing your chest and you see that it's JJ. You open the door and he stands there leaning on it and the roof of the car. “Having car trouble princess?” Funny you think. “No shit sherlock.” You mumble. You guess it’s a good thing that you’ve been saving for a new car. The money can now go into fixing this hunk of junk. “Come on, I can give you a ride. I heard you tell John B you should be home for tomorrow.” He grabs you to drag you out the car, getting your bag and slamming the car door. “Really?” “My bad the door just slipped.” He raises his hands up in surrender.
JJ walks over to his bike, handing you his helmet and getting on. You take it from him, placing it on and clumsy hopping on the back. “Gotta hold on to me tight unless you want to fall off.” Your arms wrap around his waist, squeezing him really tight, probably more than needed. “Jesus gonna kill me with that grip. Relax a little would ya.” You do as he says. Once he is satisfied enough he starts the bike and is racing off.
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Rafe has been freaking out all day. He woke up this morning and ignored the mess in his room, going straight to your door. He knocked, waiting a second before knocking again. “Sunny it’s me. Can we please talk?” He tries to open the door, happy to find that it wasn;t locked like last night. Relief washed over him as he opened it up, glad you finally came to your senses. That all vanishes when he sees that the room is empty. Your bed was slightly messy but the covers were still fully on so you hadn’t slept there. There were a few articles of clothing that were tossed around. Everything was in place, the only thing missing was you.
At first he thought you were just down stairs, already starting your day but when he got down there he couldn’t find you. Looking out the front door he sees your car is also gone. That’s when the panic startles to fully set in. You were gone, just picked up your things and left. There’s an ache that starts to form in his chest, his breathing getting shorter as his shaky hands get his phone to dial your number. The first ring goes through, the second cut short by your voicemail. “Sorry I couldn’t come to the phone right now. Text me if you need me, bye!” Your voice plays through his phone speakers. “Fuck!”
He starts to spam you, every call going straight to voicemail, his texts going unanswered. He’s been driving around the whole island looking for you and nothing. Every bad thought starts to race in his head. What if you got hurt? There’s creeps out there, if you left in the middle of the night they could have gotten to you. Or worse, you got in some accident and no one knows where you are. You could be dead in a ditch somewhere. Every new theory sends him down a deeper spiral. All his thoughts pointing to you being dead and truly leaving him. He can handle you hating him because he would know you’re safe. But he can’t handle you being gone, he can’t go through this again.
A water drop hits Rafe’s check, then another, a sob making its way through. He’s pacing around the house, tears freely falling. His fear of losing you brings back the memories of his mom. Watching day after day as she got worse, the doctors not doing anything to save her. He’s eight all over again begging his mom to not leave him, for her to get better, singing her the lullaby she sang to him. She was the first person to ever love him, to show him that he was worth something. Once she died she became the last one. Ward blamed him for everything, the fact that he had his mothers features making Ward’s hatred for him worse.Wheezie and Sarah never treated him badly but he knew they were afraid of him.
When Rose came into the picture things took a turn for the worse. He hated that his dad could move on so quickly, as if his mother meant nothing to him at all. Rose tried to be nice but shortly stopped after realizing that Rafe would never like her. Everyone on the island either hated him or was afraid of him, no one took a chance on him. That was until you. You came into his life with that beautiful smile and kind words. You turned the world around every time you talked to him. Never once showing fear or disgust like everyone else. It was like he wasn’t Rafe Cameron the island's basket case, he could be who he wanted with you. But he’s fucked it all up.
His pity party was cut short when the sounds of a motorcycle made its way into the house. He rushes to the front door swinging it open to be greeted by the sight of you on the back of JJ Maybanks motorcycle. His blood runs hot as he watches you get off handing him the helmet and hugging him. Rafe can’t hear what’s being said but he doesn’t like how close the two of you are right now. Hypocritical but he doesn’t care. He watches as you turn around the smile dropping from your face when you see him. There was a sinking feeling in his stomach, bile threatening to leave him.
As you get closer you just stare at the floor walking past him into the house without a word. “Sunny.” Rafe’s voice shakes as he calls for you. “Don’t call me that!” You shout at him continuing to walk to the stairs. “Please can we just talk.” He pleads as he follows you. “There’s nothing to talk about Rafe. What’s done is done.”You look at him over your shoulder, he looks so fragile. “Please baby. I need you to talk to me. FUCK! Yell for all I care, please.” He sobs, hands grabbing your arm as you try to walk up the steps. “I can’t keep going on like this. I-' You turn around to face him. “You what? Huh? You thought ‘hey I had enough of her time to fuck some other slut’ Or was it ‘I have her wrapped around my finger. She’s so dumb that she’ll let me fuck other girls.’” You didn’t realize how close you got.
You're practically staring up at him. “No, I swear” His eyes red as tears streak down his checks. “Fuck! Why can’t you just listen to me! I’m trying…” “You’re trying? Are you fucking kidding me? So let me get this straight, you fuck me practically every day as id I’m this sex toy for you. Then you go out and make out with these other girls as if you weren’t just cumming in me. If thats you trying, you fucking me and others is you trying?” Tears well up in your eyes and your voice cracks at the end. Rafe starts pacing around with his arms wrapping around his head. He’s mumbling but nothing is audible. “If that’s you trying then it’s a good thing it’s over. I deserve better than that.” This stops Rafe in his tracks. He starts walking to you but stops before he can reach. “Please don’t leave me.” It’s barely a whisper but you still heard it.
Your eyes widen and mouth drops open but nothing comes out. You stare at him as his hands cover his eyes. Wiping away any tears like if you saw them you would see how weak he was. How weak you made him. “I was scared okay. I’m scared you will leave me like everyone. I- I can’t stand not being around you. Don’t start.” Your mouth shuts, words dying on your tongue. “You make everything better. I have these thoughts sometimes and” a sob cuts his words “they stopped when you were around. All the ‘I’m to good enough’, ‘you’re a failure’, all that shit just fucking vanished. You’re like sunshine, everything just seems brighter around you.”
He takes a deep breath. “That day at the country club when I saw you flirting with Maybank I saw red. I just thought you were going to see that you don’t need me that you were better off with someone else. Everyone has left me but you leaving would break me. I was scared and I did what I always do I fucked up. I pushed you away so you can’t hurt me. I didn’t think that you would care, I swear.” He grab your arm pulling you towards him. Rafe’s arms wrapping around your waist as he hurries his head in in junction where your neck meets your shoulder. Your right hand raises to rub his head, the left rest on his bicep.
“You’re right you didn’t think. You really hurt me.” You starts to pull away from him, Rafes eyes dropping to watch his empty hands. “I thought I meant more to you. I told you we needed to communicate and you didn’t. I just” “I’m trying to. This is me trying to tell you.” The blue eyes that you loved looked so broken and empty. A matching set to yours. “It’s a little too late. I don’t know how to trust you right now. Rafe I told you things that I’ve always kept a secret. I thought it was obvious that I always cared about you. Yet all I’m given in return is deceit, I caught you making out with another girl. Did you even mean the things you said? I just need sometime.”
The sandals you wore echo along the floor as you back up. His left hand catches you before you could get too far. “This can’t be it, please Sunny. I fucked up I know. I let Kelce get into my head and I spiraled, I know that. But please give me a second chance…please. Today I thought you were hurt or dead. You scared that shit out of me today and I couldn’t stand the thought of never being able to see you again. Please we can work this out.” You met his eyes, tears welling up. “I can’t do this right now Rafe. This really hurts me, don’t make it harder.”
“Nothing I say will change your mind will it?” Rafe lets you go and walks away leaving you behind. “Do you know how scared I was last night? You scream, smashing my door, and throwing stuff around is scary Rafe. All I could think about was my dad, I didn’t like when he got like that. I won’t take it from you either.” Your words stop him in his tracks but you don’t stick around to watch. Tears hit the floor, a tiny sob leaving your lips as you make your way up the stairs. Making it in your room, you curl up into bed crying until you finally fall asleep. Wishing that the past two days never happened and this was just some bad nightmare.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe obx#drew starkey smut#outer banks smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x nannyreader
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can you hear me sobbing?
#atlasart#octopath 2 spoilers#octopath traveler ii#octopath 2#octopath osvald#octopath hikari#octopath ochette#octopath giselle#octopath temenos#hikari ku#temenos mistral#giselle#ochette#osvald v. vanstein#all of these chapters have me tearing up and crying i swear#this all started with giselle who i adore#i miss them so dearly#i feel insane about hikari because god that expression#hes going through it fr#im okay#everything is fine#im readying up everyone’s final chapters#oh dear#i think i was crying for 10 minutes straight with temenos#but i think agnea’s ch3 was my first crying moment#hit hard#probably will do more doodles bc castti was my first pick and i have to draw her!! and everyone i missed here :)#maybe a full cast we’ll see
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how intimacy with coriolanus snow looks like
cw: nsfw, coryo x gn!reader, mentions of self pleasure and oral sex, a very jealous man.
he definitely likes to be around you and to know your whereabouts all the time.
coryo doesn't shy away from being naked in front of you or showering together, and is very comfortable just being watched by you.
he's comfortable in your presence, so you can expect silent walks in the city or his honed eyes staring wordlessly at you.
coryo needs to have his hands on you someway, he will be playing with your hair or squeezing your thigh under the table.
a dangerous and constant hand on the small of your back, almost the swell of your ass, bordering the inappropriate when you two are in public.
he loves the way you smell everywhere.
"coryo, stop." you giggled with flushed cheeks as his nose went down your thighs. tongue leaving wet traces on your skin, sharp teeth marking immaculate flesh.
"you smell so good," he stopped when he reached your inner thighs, looking up at you with shimmering eyes. "makes me wanna fuck you all day. give you no time to recover."
his soft lips kissed your skin with care, preparing you for what was to come. "I swear I can smell you from my office, ready for me."
loves having a hand under your pants when you're reading before bed, teasing you and making you stutter your words.
"go on, what's the name of the next chapter again?" coryo smiles, a wicked glint in his beautiful eyes. he keeps a light hand on you while the other finds the way to his own shorts, already devouring you in his head.
he touches himself shamelessly, hard chest glistening in the dim light as his hand works on his cock. you try not to look, but he dares you in so many ways.
when you give up, he's smiling, both hands wet from yours and his arousal.
teaches you how to give him a good blowjob.
"you know I'm big, why do you keep your jaw so tense?" he caresses your face to prove his point, copious amounts of drool running down your chin.
"i'm sorry," you whine when the pressure from his hand on your head eases up, allowing you to search for air. you don't realize you're crying until you feel his fingers cleaning your tears, smiling down at you like an owner would to his pet.
"it's okay, you're learning." the hand forces your head down again, and this time you can take all of it in your throat.
coryo always gives you bedroom eyes after you kiss. it can be an innocent peck before he leaves for work, but he will find a way to make you embarrassed.
actually frowns if you mention a man that isn't him. he's easily jealous.
"you can't actually be mad at me. let's just talk, please." he brings your hand to his chest, pleading eyes winning your heart and making your anger subdue.
"there was no reason for you to lose your temper. he was just being polite." you reason, he rolls his eyes.
"and he waited for me to be away from you to be polite?" he scoffs at your words and you free your hand from his hold, looking away.
"you need to learn to control yourself, coriolanus." your voice is a bit shaky, insecure.
his heart aches at the emotion in your tone, but guilt is not what overcomes him.
but trust, you will never go to bed angry at him. he will make sure of that.
coryo makes sure you go to sleep laying on his chest and when you wake up you need to be next to him.
coriolanus is very protective of you and your health and if you're feeling unwell he will do everything in his power to make you feel better.
feeding you soup? just sit down and open your mouth. bathing you? he will spend minutes and minutes making sure the water is perfect for you. brushing your teeth and drying your hair? he's on it already.
when your relationship is in a more advanced stage, he insists on picking out your clothes. you question it, he answers is just a detail, to make sure you look your best. you're his property, his doll.
coryo doesn't hide secrets from you, except the ones that can harm you.
a/n: can we be normal challenge
#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow x you#the hunger games#the hunger games ballad of songbirds and snakes#ballad of songbirds and snakes
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Infernal Desires | Chapter 1 | Coriolanus Snow
Summary: as penance for your brother's sins, Coriolanus demands that you are sent to his household to work his debt. But Coriolanus does not expect to burn so strongly for you and finds himself addicted to having you as close as he can keep you.
Chapter 2
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: enemies to lovers, explicit reference to sex, hair pulling, talk of ownership (bc we all know coryo has a complex), swearing, this is shit low key, coryo is a little shit but you know of course he is :P
Author's Note: this is the result of my assignment procrastination and now I am posting it at 2:30AM :)) this hasn't been beta read and actually it might seem a little disjointed but pls lmk if you have feedback for me if I end up carrying on with this series? lots of love!!
It is a debt to be paid, that’s all it is.
Easy enough for them to say. After all, it was you who suffered from the mistakes of your family and not them. They may as well have left you to the streets of the Districts with nothing more than a shattered dignity and the tears that trailed down your cheeks.
Shit. Crying wasn’t going to do anything and while you never intended to present yourself as weak to anyone, there was nothing you could do to stop the angry tears that welled in your eyes. You wondered if your parents truly pained to see their daughter cry or if the tremble in your mother’s lip was nothing more than a pretence.
Your father stared at the ground by your feet. “It wasn’t supposed to come to this.”
“But it did. Are you really going to sell me off to–”
“We aren’t selling you off. Stop saying that,” He snapped. “Maybe all you will have to do is dust a few shelves and brew a pot of tea every now and then. It cannot be that bad.”
The glare you sent his way was full of malice and rage. How could he say that? You were better than that, smarter than that and the thought of being reduced to who knows what that man had in store for you - they may as well have cut your tongue out and made you a slave. Knowing that your family, whom you loved endlessly, were so sure of bartering you away to a man like Coriolanus Snow caused a dull ache in your chest.
It seemed hard to breathe through the betrayal, the air thick with deceit and heartbreak. Had you known what your father had been planning, you could have left and found a way to survive without the comfort of your family home.
“What Coriolanus has offered has saved us,” Jericho stood leaning lazily against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. He stared at you, his little sister who would have died before leaving him to such a fate. “Just think about it! Would you rather him send our entire family to the fucking Districts or have us hanged? I fucked up. I know, and I’m sorry but this is the only option we have.”
There was a tense silence. Jericho had ruined everything with no chance of repair and it was you who had to pay the price. You knew what happened to rebel sympathisers and Jericho had damned the future of your family. What was happening in the Districts was wrong, you agreed with that but there was something inherently stupid about putting the people you cared about at risk just to send a few thousand dollars to some hopeless rebels.
You blinked as you tried to make sense of it all. “Explain it to me. I don’t understand.”
“Coriolanus is not only my friend but he’s just become President,” Jericho said. “We made a deal. This is part of it. Pay off my mistakes with hard work and time. You have no clue how generous that is.”
Friend? Generous? You would have laughed if you could. You briefly wondered what the other part of their deal was but didn’t focus on it for long. It would be of no use to ask a question you would get no answer to.
“All he wants is something to hold over your damn head, Jericho. Paying off your mistakes with my work? Making his bed and wiping his ass is not going to fix what you did. People have been executed for far less.”
Your father cleared his throat. “It’s our only option. We have no money and a ruined reputation. The family name holds the last of our power and without that little power we have left, your brother and I would lose our jobs. It’s a miracle we haven’t already.”
“Coriolanus wants to dangle you over our heads? Fine. If that’s what it takes for him to spare our lives.” Jericho’s voice was so rough. It was the first time he’d been anything other than gentle towards you and you felt a heaviness at the sight of him so distressed.
There was not much left for you outside of the empty empire that your father’s father had built for your family. At least you still had each other and despite the situation they’ve forced you into at the end of the day, you all loved each other to death. It would have been a death sentence but you could have left instead, could have found a life for yourself somehow. But how could you live with yourself knowing that you’d damned those you love because of your pride?
So reluctantly and tearfully, you nod your head and silently agree.
Coriolanus wondered whether he was making the right decision by giving Jericho a second chance. If it were anyone else, he’d have had them hung without a second thought. Hell, he’d even had Sejanus executed at the end of his time in District 12. But Jericho and his family were different.
If there was one person in his life that Coriolanus could call a friend, it was Jericho. It wasn’t that Coriolanus trusted him, no. There was not a soul in this world that Coriolanus could truly trust, not even Jericho who had been by his side for the entirety of his life. It was a moment of weakness, an inexcusable lapse in his judgment to make that deal with him.
But it was also a moment of selfishness and a decision made with nothing more than foolish curiosity. You had always been there, in the back of the picture and unnoticed by everyone apart from him. There was not a person in this world who infuriated him more than you and the two of you had spent years bickering and pestering one another. Charming, intelligent Coriolanus Snow who had the entirety of the Capitol wrapped around his finger had always been instinctively cruel to you. He was never your friend. While he had never actually done you wrong before now, you were never really fooled by his deceiving charm.
Coriolanus was now twenty three but when it came to whatever distorted plot he was planning, he felt juvenile. You were the perfect leverage. Your brother and your father were the perfect pawns. As much as he convinced himself that having you in his possession would mean he would have invaluable power over Jericho to do exactly as he wanted within his twisted court, the idea of having you in the palm of his hand and under his control was exciting.
He was never one for meaningless entertainment. But what was the harm in indulging himself this once?
You had changed since the last time he’d seen you. It had only been two years but he would never admit to his surprise at just how different you had become from the cowering little girl he remembered you to be.
Coriolanus’ office was as big as your dining room back home but you felt claustrophobic under his gaze. His eyes were hellfire as he silently stared at you, leaning back in his chair and resting his fingers under his chin. There was little you could do but stare back at him, anxiously tapping your foot on the marbled floor.
Shakily, you broke the silence. “Why am I here, Coriolanus?”
“Your brother has committed a crime,” He drawled, fingers tapping on the rich mahogany desk in front of him. “That’s why you’re here.”
“You know what I mean, asshole.” You scowled at him. It wasn’t smart to talk to him in such a way, you knew that. He is President, after all. The memory of your brother’s warning to be careful flashed briefly in your mind.
Eyes narrowed, Corialanus considered putting you in your place. He wouldn’t tolerate disrespect. Not from anyone let alone you. Instead, he somewhat answered your question. “You’re going to stay here. Do whatever the hell, doesn’t matter.”
In any other instance, Coriolanus would have detested the sight of you gaping at him, stumbling over your words as your wide eyes confidently held his own. You had changed. Or maybe he had just been blind to the perfect curves of your body or the way you looked at him, so submissive yet so stubborn. So tempting.
He’d condemn himself before ever admitting to his thoughts.
“What?”
If he were to be honest, Coriolanus didn’t entirely know himself. But he took pleasure in the way you seethed. “I’ll give you work. But I won’t let you back to that treasonous family of yours until I have what I want from them.”
You could hit him. If he weren’t the king of Panem, you would have. “You’re keeping me prisoner?”
“No,” he stood from the table and in two strides, he was in front of you. So close that you could smell his cologne mixing with the smell of laundry detergent on his clothes. You shuddered. “Maybe. Call it what you want. You can do what you want, eat what you want, wear what you want, you can visit home on the weekend. I don’t care. But when I give you a task, you will do it.”
Coriolanus’ eyes were an icy blue inferno as they held yours. The light hit his painfully perfect face so that it almost seemed as if he were shining. Struggling not to lose your breath, not to lean into him and feel him, you held your head high. “Fuck you.”
A gasp fell from your lips as Coriolanus’ hand found the back of your head in an instant, fingers weaving into your hair gently before closing into a tight fist and pulling back so that you were forced to look up at him. The tightness of his grip on your hair ached and left you dizzy, longing for his hands to find more of you with the same fervour. Suddenly, you were burning from head to toe, a fire setting on your skin as he held you roughly against him, so close that you felt the feather light tickle of his breath when he spoke.
“Is that how you talk to your superior?” Coriolanus’ voice was low, dripping with a dominance that commanded respect. He was devastatingly beautiful. The curve of his nose, the strength in his jaw, the soft fall of his hair and the soft shine on his lips that you so badly yearned to feel. You cursed yourself for thinking such a thing. “This is my house. My country. You are here because I said so, because I own everything. Everything. Including you. You’d do well to remember your fucking place while you’re here, pretty thing.”
The fire in your blood was rage. It was anger, it had to be. Despite your better judgment, you whispered once again, “Fuck. You.”
His jaw ticked and with a strong yank, you were flush against him. The pounding of your heart was violent and you were sure he could feel it against his chest but you were stuck under his burning gaze. Coriolanus was angry. And you couldn’t help but think that it suited him.
Coriolanus was strong and hard against your body, tense as he held you so intimately yet so roughly.
Fuck, you couldn’t even think. What was happening?
“Corio-”
“Quiet,” Coriolanus commanded. His deep voice, raspy with lust and with rage sent shockwaves down your spine. “Fuck me, huh? I could have you begging on your knees, crying for my cock all day and all night and you would never deserve it. Be careful, angel, because I can ruin you.”
Another gasp fell from your lips and Coriolanus took pleasure in the way you squirmed against him, thighs pressing together as you felt the flush of his words through your body. So reactive. Somehow, you fit perfectly against him, so that he could feel every little tremor he caused in your body, every goosebump that he placed on your skin. His eyes never left yours, his resolve solid as iron.
Your mouth watered at the thought of all the things Coriolanus could do to you. Thoughts you had never imagined having, especially not for him. It overwhelmed you - he overwhelmed you. But all you had to do was glance at the file on his desk, the file with your surname plastered onto the front and you were shoving him off of you.
The rise and fall of your chest was heavy and you had the sudden urge to punch the sultry smirk right off of Coriolanus’ face. That was not okay. Right now, you didn’t even want to think about the way your body reacted to his, they way you would have let him have his way with you right there and then.
“Just-just what the hell am I doing here, Snow?”
Coriolanus swallowed. He didn’t have an answer that he could share with you even if he wanted to give you one. “Making up for the sins of your family. Do not make me repeat myself again.”
“Fine. But-”
“That’s enough,” Coriolanus firmly stated. He turned his back to you, flexing his hands that were curled into fists at his sides. “Candice will show you where you will be staying. I’ll find you when you’re needed.”
#AHHHHHHH#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus snow x you#the hunger games#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow fic#tbosas#tom blyth#the hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes#coriolanus snow angst#smut#coriolanus snow#🥀#📝
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After The Storm |3|
Tara Carpenter x Spider-Woman!Reader
Chapter Three: The Police Will Handle It
Summary: After a disastrous fight with Dr. Connors, ending with you as bruised and bloodied as ever, the only person you desperately feel you need is Tara
Warning(s): Swearing, if it looks like "Italic" the character is signing, injured R, & spidey level violence
Notes: Christmas came earlyyy. I wasn't expecting to get this chap out by tonight or this weekend at all tbh but ig I just missed these lovable, lovestruck idiots that much (also made them a playlist)
Masterlist|Previous Part|Next Part
Ringing.
That’s all you could hear as the pain in your ears never gave out. But that was all you could hear. Even your own whimpering fell deaf to you. There was only one thought on your mind; you needed Tara. She could make everything better. You don’t care if Sam’s at the apartment or not. You don't care if she arrested you on the spot. You just need Tara.
You swung through the pain, building to the building, until you saw Tara’s. You exhaled in relief when you spotted her lit up room through the window. Quickly, you swung to her firescape—nearly crashing against the window as you did so. Your tumbling let out a loud sound, getting Tara’s attention.
She rushed to her window, pushing it up, before she saw the state you were in. You were completely drained and it was clear. You were using the bit of the energy you had left to hold yourself up. Your suit was torn up, and your wounds were still fresh and visible. Tara’s eyes widened at the sight, but she quickly snapped out of it to bring you inside.
“Jesus, Y/N…”
You couldn’t even respond. You tried to, but you ended up groaning instead. “What the fuck happened?” Tara asked. It all sounded the same to you; muffled. Everything sounded muted.
She sat you down on her bed. You sucked in a breath, still extremely sore from your fight. She looked at you, trying to meet your eye line. That’s when she noticed you wouldn’t look at her. Tara raised her right hand to touch your face, she did it as gently as she could, but she made contact with your ear. You then flinch as you let out a hiss.
Tara immediately pulled her hand away. “I’m sorry…” She leaned in closer to look at your ear, she saw the angry bruising. The realization hit when she checked your other ear and she saw that it was just as bad, if not, worse.
“You can’t hear me?” Tara signed with furrowed eyebrows.
“No,” you signed back; you immediately averted your stare again.
With that answer, plenty of questions started racing through Tara’s mind. What did Dr. Connors do to you? When is your healing going to kick in? Will that even work for something this drastic? Are you scared?–
“You’re thinking loud,” you croaked; you finally got the courage to use the voice you suddenly lacked confidence in.
“Sorry,” Tara responded with an apologetic look.
“Just… be with me please?” You looked at her, eyes vulnerable. She looked at you, blinking, as a small reassuring smile grazed her face. She moved up the bed to lean against the pillow with you. On instinct, your head moved to rest on her shoulder. She cautiously snuck her hand up, once she was sure she wasn’t causing you any pain, she began to lightly scratch the back of your neck.
You snuggled closer to her, putting an arm over her waist. It wasn’t until a couple minutes later when everything came crashing down, when everything became so real. You just started crying. It started off slow, with a few tears escaping as you managed to hold some back, until you physically couldn’t hold back anymore. You must’ve started making noises, or maybe Tara noticed her shirt start to dampen, because she looked down at you.
At first, she wasn’t sure what to do. It was so sudden. It was also the first she was seeing you cry. In the end, she didn’t say anything, she just held you closer and placed a kiss on your temple as she continued to hold you in her arms. You couldn’t have asked for anything better.
—
You ended up staying the night, that wasn’t up for debate. You didn’t sleep as poorly as you could’ve in your condition. It shouldn’t be a shock at this point; you always found yourself sleeping better in Tara’s arms.
It was around eight when you were woken up by the sounds of shuffling. Sounds. You could hear again. Cool. You blinked your eyes open before looking at your surroundings. It didn’t take long for you to remember everything that happened. You looked over to see Tara putting on a hoodie.
“Morning,” you said in a raspy voice.
She got the hoodie on, pulling it all the way down as she turned to look at you. “Morning,” she reciprocated with a smile. Suddenly, she remembered the extent to your injuries and pointed to her own ear with a raised eyebrow.
“Oh—uh, yeah. I think I’m fine now,” you responded with a nod.
“Good. Today we’re relaxing.” She walked over to her mirror and grabbed her brush.
“What? No. Tara, I can’t ‘relax.’ I have a city to look after. Dr. Connors is still out there. And–”
Tara cut you off, slamming down her brush and turning to you with a glare. “–and look at what he did to you. The city isn’t going to collapse under itself if Spider-Woman takes a day to herself. You deserve it, Y/N.”
“But–”
“–The police will handle it.”
You looked down at your hands, contemplating your next move. You knew Tara wasn’t going to let up easily, if at all. Your only option is to listen to her.
“Fine,” you mumble.
“Fine. So… Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“What’s there to talk about? I got the shit beat out of me,” you let out a humorless chuckle.
“You couldn’t hear me. At all. What if I wasn’t here? What if he had taken your ability to walk—or in your case, swing? What would you do then? What if–”
You got up from her bed, taking her hands in yours as you cut her off. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. None of that happened, okay? I’m here, I’m with you, and in the end my healing kicked in. Don’t stress yourself over the what if’s.”
“You know I can’t help it,” Tara looked into your eyes. Her expression was so raw and genuine, you could feel your heartbeat pick up its pace as you looked into her eyes. You raised one of your hands to cup her cheek, the other still holding her hand.
“I know…” You leaned in, slowly to wait for her to reciprocate, which didn’t take long. She immediately caught your lips with hers. You both savored the moment as you both did with every shared moment you have with the other. You both hesitantly pull apart, your thumb gently brushing against her cheek as a small smile grazes your face.
“I’ll always come home, Tara.”
“You can’t promise that… No one can promise that.” You knew she was right.
“I’ll always fight a million times harder. I can at least promise you that.”
Tara let out a light sigh, leaning into your touch as you pulled her in with the hand that cupped her cheek. She didn’t fight it as she moved her arms to wrap themselves around your waist.
Everything is going to be okay, Tara thought to herself. It has to be…
—
Tara decided to make you breakfast that morning, as a way to start off your day of relaxation. It was perfect because Sam had an early shift, and she wouldn’t be home for a while.
When you got the okay, she finally let you out of her room—she wanted it to be a surprise—and led you to the kitchen. You were immediately hit with the smell of something burning, coffee, and something else you couldn’t quite place. But nevertheless, you still held a smile as she sat you down at the table.
She placed the plate in front of you; you looked down at it to find what looked to be pancakes, extra crispy turkey bacon, blackened toast, and a steaming cup of coffee not too far away. Tara was now sitting in the seat across from you as you looked at the food.
“These are… an interesting shape.” You push around the lumpy pancakes with your fork. Looked up at Tara who looked back with anticipation.
“Go on, try them,” she urged excitedly.
“Oh, now? Yeah—yeah sure.” You cleared your throat as you cut through the pancake after drowning it in syrup, before putting it in your mouth. You’re immediately hit with a sour bitterness, even through all the syrup you drenched it in. You look over and see Tara’s still looking at you contently, waiting for a response. You smile, mouth still full, and you still haven’t swallowed a single thing.
“Is so good,” you muffled the lie while chewing on the pancake. Is it—is it crunchy?
Tara groaned, rolling her eyes as she got up from her seat across from you.
“It’s terrible.”
“What? No, no, no, it’s not—uh, it’s just a little burnt. But you know I think that just brings out the… flavor? You know?” You harshly swallowed down more of the pancake, Tara only shook her head at your response as she took the plate in front of you.
“I’m just gonna make you a banana,” Tara sighed.
“You’re gonna make me a banana?” You questioned with raised eyebrows.
“I’m gonna make you a banana,” she rubbed your shoulder before walking away with the plates.
“She’s gonna make me a banana…” You murmur to yourself.
Tara ended up doordashing something edible for breakfast and you happily ate the banana while you waited for it. When the food came, the two of you settled in front of the TV. An hour in, you and Tara were lying on the couch, tangled with one another.
She had unintentionally trapped you with her legs while you wrapped one of your arms around her shoulders, the other arm's hand holding her own hand. This would seem uncomfortable to anybody else, but not to you and Tara.
The two of you made it work.
—
The day was slowly coming to an end, which Tara was dreading. She knew once the next day came, she would have no excuse to hold you captive any longer. Luckily, she convinced you to stay overnight. Usually, you would be hesitant about staying the night due to Sam. But since Sam was so busy she wouldn’t be back until morning, you had agreed. You also knew Tara wasn’t ready for you to return to your crime fighting, whether she said it out loud or not.
“Twister! We haven’t played Twister yet,” Tara exclaimed before walking over to her closet.
“Tara, I can not play Twister. I’m exhausted. Maybe another time?” Your tone was apoplectic and genuine, you could barely fight off your yawns anymore. She looked over to see you rubbing your eyes as you struggled to keep your eyelids up.
“No it’s okay. Let’s just get some sleep, yeah?”
“Sleep would be lovely,” you agreed in a drowsy voice. “I never thought my sleepiness could hit like this. It’s like a cement truck,” you murmur as you lazily get into bed.
“I think all those energy draining fights are finally catching up to you,” Tara responded as she got into bed with you. She helped you with the blanket, seeing as you could barely move your arms.
“Mmmm, that’ll do it.” The blanket now covers half your face, your eyes are closed as you begin to drift off to sleep. Tara leaned over, pressing a kiss on your temple before whispering goodnight.
She could get used to this.
—
What Tara wasn’t expecting was to be awoken at six in the morning to an alarm she did not in fact set. She groaned as she mindlessly waved and smacked her hands around in an attempt to shut up whatever was causing the blaring noise.
“Hey, watch it,” she heard you say. Now she let out a confused groan, reaching over to turn on her lamp.
She lifted herself up by her arms, then rubbed her eyes as she adjusted to the room’s lighting. It took a while to process what was going on as she looked around her room and at you, but once she did, she was not too happy.
“Y/N. Take that suit off.”
“Woah there. Don’t you think it’s a little too early for that?”
“You know what I mean. You can’t be serious!” She shouted in a hushed tone. “It’s—” She reached over for her phone to check the time, “—six! It’s six in the fucking morning. Go to bed.”
“Dr. Connors was spotted again. I can’t just let him run free. The police–”
“–The police will handle it. Go. To. Bed.”
You looked over at the opened window then to Tara. You sighed, mumbling something to yourself before moving towards Tara. “We’ll play Twister tonight. Promise.” You lean down to kiss her cheek before pulling down your mask.
“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, don’t you dare jump out that—aaand she’s already gone.”
—
All you knew was that Dr. Connors, aka The Lizard, was going on another one of his rampages. This time, taking down a bridge full of cars with him. No doubt, those cars were full of people just trying to get to point B. You need to help them. That’s all you could think about on your way over to the bridge.
Once you got there, you noticed the mutant immediately. He wasn’t that hard to miss. “Incomiiiing!” You shouted as you swung down legs first in the direction of Dr. Connors. You kicked him down just as he threw a car off the bridge. You reacted quickly by shooting a web at the car while The Lizard was down. It hung from the edge as you secured the end of the string to the railing of the bridge.
So far, you were able to do that with every other car The Lizard used as a frisbee. You looked over at him, hearing his gowling from just a few feet away. His hand had already grown back after being crushed by one of the cars. Your eyes narrowed, ready to pounce. You had lost him, and to him, more than enough times. You weren’t going to let that happen again. That was until you heard the cries of a civilian, causing you to turn your head the other direction.
“Somebody help! Help me! My kid is trapped!” The father desperately shouted, looking around just as desperately in hopes his begging was heard by someone—anyone.
You suddenly heard stomps, causing you to turn your head back at Dr. Connors. He was running away, again. But catching him didn’t seem as important as it did just moments before. You didn’t have to think twice as you swung in the direction of the father.
You landed on the back of one of the hanging cars where you heard a screaming kid. You immediately ripped off the back window, throwing it to the side.
“Heeelp! Heeelp!” The boy screamed as he struggled in his seat.
“Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, buddy. It's okay. It’s alright,” you tried to reassure him but you realized you were only freaking him out more when he turned to look at you with wide eyes.
“Get away!” He was out of breath, swinging his arms around.
“Hey look!” You said as you pulled off your mask, holding out your arms in front of you; he stopped screaming.
“I’m just a normal person. Alright? You wanna hold this?” You asked, referring to your mask. When he nodded, you threw him your mask, “Hold on to my mask.” He looked down at the mask, his breathing began to calm down but his adrenaline was still high.
“What’s your name?” You look over to the duffle bag near him to see a name written. “Jack?”
“Yes…”
“Let’s get you out of here, Jack,” you said in a reassuring tone. “Stay very still,” you told him as you attempted to climb into the car.
“Alright,” he watched your every move as he continued to hold onto your mask.
“Okay, I got you.” You reach your arm over, wrapping it around his waist from behind his seat as carefully as you possibly could. “Okay now look, I’m gonna undo the belt. You’re gonna hold onto the backseat for me, okay? You ready?” You hand gripped the seatbelt, finger hovering over the red button.
When he nodded you began counting, “Okay, one…two…three,” you unbuckled his belt. He successfully landed on the steering wheel. “See how easy that was? You did a great job,” you chuckled in relief. His breathing was heavy as he nodded his head up and down, you knew he was still nervous and scared as hell.
Who wouldn’t be in this situation?
Just then, your senses go off. You can hear the sound of flames not too far from your ears; you turn your head to the direction of where the sound was coming from to see that the car is beginning to be consumed by fire. The heat causes the web, that the car was hanging by, to break.
You quickly shoot another web, hanging by it with a tight grip, as you’re now outside the car; you hold onto the end of the car as tightly as you can, ignoring the burning sensation in your forearm as you hear the little boy’s screams.
You groaned, trying to tighten your hold as much as you can without being forced to let go. You’re literally hanging by a thread. The car’s beginning to smoke as the flames spread further and further. You look directly at Jack through the opening.
“Jack, climb! Now!”
“I can’t!”
“Yes you can!” A separate piece of the car falls down in flames, meeting a watery death. You let out a grunt as the car grows heavier and heavier by the second. “Pu—put it on! That mask, it’s gonna make you strong!” Jack looked down at the mask; you see the slight skepticism on his face. “Jack, trust me. Just put it on!”
He finally gives in, putting the mask over his face. “There ya go! That’s it! That’s it, buddy! Okay, now climb! Come on Jack!” The part you held onto was beginning to loosen more and more from the car itself. You only had so much time before the whole thing took a swim.
He steadily began to climb up, grabbing onto the backs of the seats to do so.
“Do me a favor, a little faster! Okay bud? You’re doing great!” He was so close, he just needed to take a few more steps and you would be able to pull him up. But suddenly, the part you were holding onto broke loose within a blink of an eye. “No!” You shouted as the car started falling down.
You swiftly shot your web at him, pulling him from the car as it continued to fall down. By the time it hit the ocean, Jack was safely hanging by your web. You instantly looked down at the water in great relief before you started pulling him up to the bridge.
There his father was to greet him with a hug, holding on as tightly as he possibly could. You fully climbed onto the railing on your way back up, squatting on the railing as you looked at the father and son.
That’s when the man turned to you with a question, “Who are you?”
“I’m Spider-Woman,” you answered simply before swinging off.
—
“Of course that happens as soon as you leave my room,” Tara lightly shook her head, referring to the incident on the bridge. She was in your bedroom, changing into her pajamas as the two of you spoke. You convinced her to stay overnight at your place this time. She just told Sam she was staying at Mindy’s. A small, yet convincing, lie.
“Well, it’s a good thing I was there. I… if I wasn’t there… I don’t even wanna think about it,” you held a sorrowful tone as you murmured. Tara looked up as she heard the dread in your voice, beginning to walk over to you. You were sitting on your bed, leaning against the headboard, when she came up to you.
“Listen to me.” She was now straddling your waist, her hands cupped your jaw as your own hands rested on her hipline. “What you did? Was beyond incredible. You brought that kid back to his dad–”
“–I almost didn’t though. I was so close to losing him.” Your eyes look down to the side, the overwhelming feeling of what could have happened taking over you.
“Don’t stress yourself over the what if’s,” she softly lifted your face back up with her hands so your eyes could meet hers.
A smile started to slowly graze your face before you responded, “Did you just quote me?”
“Hey, your advice isn’t half-bad.” She reciprocated your smile; your face was less than inches apart, you both couldn’t help but glance at the other’s lips.
“Well thank you. Sometimes I need to hear it from someone else, especially if that someone's you,” you said truthfully; you brushed your thumb against her hip.
“Glad I could be helpful.”
“Now, didn’t I recall somebody wanting to play Twister?”
Tara giggled, shaking her head. “I wasn’t serious about that. I was just trying to see if I could hold you captive a little longer,” she confessed.
“Gasp! Nuh uh, no way,” you sarcastically responded.
“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes, her smile never faltering.
“What do you wanna do then?”
You and Tara spent the night making out, watching movies, and eating leftover pizza. You found yourselves tangled with one another, once again. You looked down at Tara’s face as the TV screen' light illuminated off of her face; you simply couldn’t look away.
She was the most beautiful being you have ever had the blessing of laying your eyes upon. Every time you looked into her eyes, stared at her longingly from across the room, hugged her, kissed her, heard her voice, or simply just thought of her—each was a reminder and reason.
You would protect Tara no matter the cost. You would die for her.
—
“I can’t believe you convinced me to do this… again.” You were carrying Tara on your back to your bedroom. Tara’s chin rested on your shoulder, her arms wrapped around your shoulders, and you held onto her legs, adjusting every now and then.
“Because you’re obsessed with me,” Tara remarked before placing a kiss to your neck that gave you shivers. You mumbled something under your breath. “What was that?”
“Nothing, dear!”
“Nice save.”
“I try,” you reply as you push your half opened bedroom door all the way open. Tara snuggled closer to you as you approached the bed. “Tara… you know you actually have to get off my back in order to get into bed, right?”
“Ugh, sooo tired,” she murmured with half-lid eyes.
“Just loosen your arms a bit for me, hun. I’ll just throw—” You glance over at Tara and see her wearing a scowl; maybe you should choose your next words more carefully. “—gently place you on the bed.”
“Fine,” she said in a muffled tone—the lower part of her face now resting on your shoulder.
You felt her loosen her arms before you did as you said you would; you gently place her down on the bed, putting a pillow behind her head and then the blanket over her. You began to walk away to change into your pajamas, but stopped when you felt a tug on your sleeve.
“Don’t go,” Tara said in a sleepy voice.
“I’m still here, just changing into some new clothes. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” After a few seconds, you got a nod from her. You placed a kiss on her cheek before you turned to change; you decided to move your clothes over to change a little closer to where Tara’s resting. It wouldn’t hurt to stay close.
Once you changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, you crawled into bed with Tara and pulled some of the blanket over you. Almost as soon as you got into bed, Tara turned around to face you; her eyes were still closed as she got closer and rested her head on your chest, putting an arm over your stomach. You accepted her embrace, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. You held each other closely through the night.
Tara's warm embrace was more than enough to get you through said night.
-----------
A/N: cookie to anybody who got the flash reference
Taglist: @gaylorvader
#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x y/n#tara carpenter x female reader#tara x reader#tara carpenter x fem!reader#tara carpenter x spider reader#jenna ortega#jenna marie ortega#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x fem!reader#scream x reader#spider!reader#after the storm au
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You Can Do It
Aegon II Targaryen x Reader (Daughter of Rhaenyra)
Summary: The twins are born. Aemond isn't by your side, but Aegon is.
Masterlist Serie
I still don't know when I'm going to finish writing chapter 5 but until then I'll leave you with this
Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.
"Aegon what are you doing here?" Alicent asked in surprise as the door to your chambers opens and her firstborn entered.
As soon as the king heard the news that your waters had already broken, he ran to your chambers. He didn't know why exactly but something inside him told him that he had to be by your side. And he was glad to listen to that small voice when he saw how the tension in your face softened at the sight of him.
"How are you feeling?" He asked walking up to you.
"I had better days, your grace" you replied with a small smile. It won't matter that you were sweaty and your belly was giant. to Aegon, you still looked beautiful.
You stopped your walk and leaned against the wall. The maester had told you to walk around the room until it was time for your baby to come out.
"My king, the birthing bed is no place for men," the maester said earning a glare from Aegon.
"I am the king and I can be where I please" he replied scathingly "Besides, I came to support my niece in the name of my brother"
Your eyes blinked away the tears that were forming at the mention of Aemond. You had the stupid hope that your husband would return for the birth of his child.
"Aegon, this could go on for hours," Alicent said trying to convince him to leave "I'm sure you have more important things to do"
"I'm sure the council can handle it for a couple of hours" the king affirmed "It doesn't matter, I'll stay by your side until you finish" he promised looking into your eyes.
"Thank you" you whispered thinking for a brief moment to hug him but you didn't.
And neither Alicent nor the maester said they bothered to try again to get the king to leave, not wanting to face his wrath. They were also sure that sooner or later Aegon would leave. Both of them were surprised when he took your hand and started walking with you around the room for over an hour.
Alicent was telling you stories from when your uncles were babies in an attempt to distract you from the pain when at one point you get a contraction so strong it almost makes you fall on the floor, if it wasn't for Aegon catching you. They both helped you get into bed as comfortably as possible. Aegon didn't take his eyes off your face as the maester lifted your nightgown to see if you could start thrusting yet.
"You can push now, princess" the old man announced.
You began to push, crying out in pain as you clung to both Aegon's hand and Alicent's. She looked at her son expecting him at any moment to get up and leave the room. But he never did, he stayed by your side without letting go of your hand, from time to time making a little grimace because of the strength with which you were holding him but he never complained. She noted how Aegon's lavender eyes conveyed pure concern and pain. He looked like he was suffering from seeing you suffer.
"Princess, you must keep pushing," the maester asked when you stopped.
"I can't," you said tiredly "I can't do it" you repeated ignoring the midwives' words of encouragement.
"Y/n, I swear that all this pain will be worth it when you have your baby in your arms," Alicent said brushing the hair from your face.
"No, I can't do it" you repeated shaking your head "They're going to have to cut me open to get the baby out" you panicked and started crying. You were scared, you wanted your mother by your side, you wanted her to tell you that everything would be okay. You didn't want to die yet, you wanted to see your mother and siblings again, you wanted to be there when Aemond came back and met your baby. But right now you didn't think you were capable of giving birth.
Aegon felt his heart break to see you in this state. You looked so hopeless. He couldn't bear to see you like this.
"Hey, hey, look at me, look at me" with his free hand he took your chin making you look at him "No one is going to open you" he promised, giving your hand a light squeeze, it was the only way he could show his support "I know you can do it. Do you hear me? You can do it. You're not alone" he could feel her mother's gaze but he didn't care, the only thing that mattered now was you "You have dragon blood in your veins. You are strong. You will beat the delivery bed "Your breathing calmed down and slowly the tears stopped flowing "Now I want you to push, you can lean on me, smash my hand and scream all you want but I need you to push" he smiled when you nodded.
Alicent couldn't help but be surprised and angry. A part of her was surprised by the softness in her firstborn's voice when speaking to you, she was grateful that he can comfort you but another part was furious with her son for being here, by your side when he was not together with Helaena when Jaehaerys and Jaehaera were born. Aegon was not there to calm his sister's fears.
Then you started to push again, you were sure that your screams should be heard throughout the castle but it didn't matter, today you would give birth. Aegon was right, you have the blood of the dragon and you weren't going to let the birthing bed kill you. You were going to live, you were going to see your baby grow, you'd be on your feet when Aemond got back and you'd introduce him to his child, and the both of you raise him together.
"I can already see the child's head, princess. Keep pushing" asked the maester and you did it. You had to make one last effort and you could already have your baby in your arms.
You kept pushing until you finally heard a cry from the baby. You were so relieved to hear that you let yourself lean against Aegon. He started stroking your back. You closed your eyes for a moment enjoying the sense of security and peace you felt. You smiled when you heard that he was a boy. You were about to ask for it so you could see it when you felt pain again making you groan, earning worried looks from your mother-in-law and brother-in-law.
"Princess, there is still another child" announced the maester surprised.
"Damn it Aemond. When I get back I won't let him touch me again" you said making the king laugh.
"Okay, princess, let's get this over with," Aegon said smiling and you couldn't help but smile back. You should hate him for stealing your mother's throne, but how could you hate him after he was by your side on the birthing bed? It was not his obligation, he was not your husband but he was still here, by your side, supporting you.
A couple more pushes and it didn't take long for another cry to be heard, this one much louder.
"Another boy, princess. Congratulations"
"Thank you all for being with me"
A few minutes later the midwives finished cleaning the children. They gave you one of your babies, Alicent was ready to take the other but the midwife gave it to the king.
Aegon didn't expect it but he took the baby without problems, it's not like it was the first time he had a child in his arms he was a father. He felt a lump begin to form in his throat as he remembered when he first lifted Jaehaerys. He decided to put those thoughts aside so as not to overshadow the happiness of the birth of your children.
"My little Aemon," you said looking tenderly at your son in your arms. You felt your heart full of love. Alicent was right. All the pain was worth seeing how she looked at you "I'm your mom" you smiled and left a kiss on her forehead. You still didn't want to let go but you could see your mother-in-law eager to pick up one of her grandchildren "Meet your grandmother" you gave her the baby.
Alicent was relieved to see that her grandson had Aemond's nose and violet eyes, which were darker than the king's. For a moment she had feared that Aegon's attitude was because they were actually his children.
"And what are you going to call this little guy?" Aegon asked as he rocked the baby. He already loved him, simply for being a part of you.
"Baelon" you replied with a smile feeling warmth seeing how he looked at your son "Now, I didn't want to interrupt your moment with your nephew but I would like to meet my son"
"I'm sorry" the king apologized with red cheeks before passing the boy to you.
"It's okay" you smiled at him before turning your full attention to your baby.
Alicent looked at the three of them and felt nauseated. You looked so happy as you spoke to Baelon and Aegon looked at you with such love, he had never seen that look in his eyes, the three of you quietly seemed like family. She felt sick when she realized her mistake when she denied the commitment between Helaena and Jacaerys and yours with Aegon. She remembered her firstborn complaining that he didn't want to marry his sister but you, that he loved you. She had thought it was a whim but now she could see it. Because only a man who truly loved you could look so happy while you carry another man's child. Any other man would be spiteful and jealous. But Aegon didn't, he loved you so much that he just wanted to see you well.
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#aegon targaryen x reader#the queen and her husbands#aegon x reader#aegon ii x reader#aegon ii targaryen#aegon ii targaryen x reader#aegon targaryen#hotd x reader#hotd imagine#hotd fanfic#hotd x you#house of the dragon#hotd drabbles#house of the dragon x reader#house of the dragon imagine#alicent hightower#aegon x y/n#aegon x you#aegon ii fanfic#aegon ii x you#hotd
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Trust
Joe Burrow x Female Reader
Series Summary: You, one of the top actresses in the world find yourself falling for the unbelievably attractive quarterback, Joe Burrow. But as Joe falls faster he finds that everything isn’t so golden about the world’s golden girl.
Acts: 5/?
Status: Ongoing
Please read the warning careful for this chapter. Proceed with caution; some content could be triggering!
Warnings: female!reader, smut, swearing, oral (m&f receiving), vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, taking plan b, mentions of toxic past relationship, age gap between ex and reader, mentions of past abusive relationship,
Act 5 Summary: You and Joe come to an abrupt end. With no more fight left in you, you decide to march to your own beat.
Word Count: 6.4k
Series Masterlist
You sit nervously, biting your lip, waiting for the doorbell to ring. Joe is away at training; you encouraged him to go and give you some space to collect your thoughts, but right now, you could use his strength. You stand up and start pacing, unsure how to bring it up. You told your father to come over for the weekend to catch up and only explained briefly in the conversation. You figured it would be easier to tell your father first, plus you wanted to speak to him about your mother. Yeah, you decided to lay it all all in one go. The sound of your doorbell snaps you back. It's now or never. This is your first step towards freedom from Jackson. You make your way to the door and swing it open, greeted by your giant of a father. He scoops you up and squeezes you.
"You never invite me over. Am I going to be a grandfather?" He jokes, putting you down. Your heart cracks a bit more at the thought of telling him you can't have children.
"Where's Joe? Am I going to have a little footballer grandson who plays for the Bills? Me and your brother already-Sweetie, hey hey, why are you crying?" Your father calms himself, taking your hand in his. You try to wipe your tears, but they flow endlessly. Your father follows you to the living room, where you try to gather your thoughts, but the tears won't stop. You're hyperventilating, and your father is quick to be by your side, holding you.
"Did Joe do something to you? Where is he?" Your father is quick to his feet, and you grab his hand.
"Joe is fine. It's nothing with him. It's-" You touch your throat, unable to say his name. Your father sits down and gently holds your hand.
"Talk to me, sweetheart. What's going on?"
"Mom lives out here. I ran into her, " you whisper, deciding to take the lesser blow for now. Your father sighs and rubs his head.
"I know."
Your head shoots up at your father's confession.
"What do you mean?"
"Your mother contacted me a few months ago. I knew she lived here but didn't know you ran into her."
"Did she ask about me?"
"She did. She said she was so proud of you. She has been watching you from the start of your career."
"She has two other daughters now. She's a terrible person, and I don't want her in my life." You stand up, wipe your face, and begin pacing. Your father sits with his hands clasped together, staring at the floor.
"Dad, why aren't you saying anything? Don't tell me you forgave her! " you shout.
"We have talked over things, and we are moving forward."
"What does that even mean? You forgive her. Now, you guys will hold hands and run off together?"
Your dad's silence is loud. You're shocked at this revelation and unable to process a thing.
"You're together again?"
"We're talking. She's divorcing her husband and-"
"She abandoned you! She left us like we were nothing!" You shout, throwing your hands up.
"She was my first love. If you had a chance to be with your first love again, wouldn't you?" Your father asks calmly. You chuckle darkly, throwing your head back.
"My first love has ruined my life for the last ten years." You storm out of the room just as Joe enters the living room. He sets his bag down and chases after you.
"Honey-"
"How can he talk to my mother right now? What she did to us is unforgivable!" You scream and cry. Joe embraces you, trying to calm you down. There's a knock at the door, and you pull away from Joe, allowing your father to enter.
"I have nothing to say to you right now. Joe will show you to the guest room. Thank you." You walk away, slamming the bathroom door behind you. Your father follows Joe out of the room and back downstairs.
"I thought I knew my daughter pretty well. Who is her ex?" Your father asks Joe. Joe lifts your father's bags and sighs. It isn't his place to tell your father everything about Jackson.
"It's up to her to tell you, sir," Joe replies respectfully. Your dad nods his head.
"Was it someone famous? Can you at least tell me that?"
Joe looks over to the steps where you're standing now. You're upset about your mother, but you have to tell your dad.
"Jackson. After Karen moved me to LA for my career, I started seeing Jackson shortly after." You whisper. Your father turns around to face you. You do your best to read his face, but he reveals many different facial expressions in those few seconds.
"I'm sorry, daddy." You whisper. Your father is in front of you, holding you in his arms as you break down.
"What are you sorry about? It's me, I'm the fool." Your dad walks you to the sofa, where you sit down and prepare yourself to tell your father everything. Joe gives the two of you space and decides to go take a shower.
"I started dating him after I turned 18. He was everything to me. It didn't take long for him to show his true colors. He started being controlling, and I blamed it on being my mentor and the stress with the business. I found out that after my 19th birthday, I was pregnant, but my career had just started, so I had an abortion. I thought it was only an abortion until a few days ago; I found out Jackson paid my doctor to tie my tubes." You can't bring yourself to look at your father. Your father tried his best to process all the information silently.
"I-I'm stunned." Your dad finally replies.
"I thought I could be free of him. I did my best to hold on to hope for these last few years because of the stupid contracts, but Jackson won't stop. He won't leave me alone. I spent seven years locked in fear of Jackson; through all the mental, emotional, and physical abuse, I stayed because I thought that was my life, but finally, I'm stronger now. I'm telling you this now because I'm going public about Jackson's abuse, and I'm taking him to court. I thought it would be best to say it to you first rather than hear it on the news."
"I wish you would have told me sooner. I didn't know any of this was happening to you. I should've put two and two together. I should have been smarter. I should have known when you stopped coming to visit. He took you away from us. No, I practically gift-wrapped you to him. It's my fault for being so fucking naive. I trusted this guy and-"
"Daddy, it's not your fault. I made my decisions. I-"
"He put his fucking hands on you! I sent you to LA, and I knew the culture of Hollywood. I read stories about things like this, but I never….I never thought for once you could fall victim. It's my fault. You suffered all this time, and it's my fault. I wondered why Jackson was contacting me these last few months. I'm a fool. He knew…Oh god."
"Daddy, it wasn't-"
"The business was failing. I was in debt and didn't want to ask you for money. Jackson offered, and I accepted it. He owns half the business now."
Your breath is caught in your throat. You're unable to move from your sitting position as your father starts rambling and pacing. This is why you never went public. This right here. Jackson threatened your family over and over and over again. He promised he would ruin their lives if you left him, and now it's started. Jackson got to your father before you could. It's all your fault. You stopped being close to your family. You lost all contact with them all those years. You just started to build things up again, but Jackson was one step ahead of you as always.
"Dad…I-"
"I'm so sorry. What kind of fucking father lets his 17-year-old daughter move to Hollywood alone and for the last ten years be-"
"Dad! I'll handle it so-"
"No. I'll handle it." Your father cuts you off.
"Mom is working for Jackson. Her firm is representing him." You finally say. Your father freezes up. This time, you make eye contact with him.
"She-She wouldn't do that if you tell her he-"
"They met me together. She knows what is happening, and she chose her side."
"She only knows his side because he is her client. Honey, if we tell her she will-"
"What? Protect me? She hasn't done that since the day I was born."
Your father shakes his head at all this news. You don't even know where to start. Jackson owns part of your father's business. Your father built his construction business from the bottom up, and now, with Jackson involved, this will only further go to Hell for you.
"I'm sorry. This is my fault for being gullible. I can't imagine what you've been through, sweetheart, but I promise I will make it right."
"You can't dad. I have to do this alone. If you get involved, Jackson will ruin your business and-"
"The business doesn't matter. You are my daughter. I failed at protecting you before, and I won't fail again." Your father pulls you into a hug as Joe appears. You break apart and let your father settle in his room while you and Joe talk in the kitchen. You tell Joe the news your father shared with you about the company.
"I'll buy Jackson's half. Let's ask Janet and Alex to put that in the agreement." You state, holding onto Joe. Joe calls Janet, Alex, and Eliza over.
"Before we can do anything, I want to talk to Jackson. Alone."
"I don't think that is a good idea." Eliza steps in, looking at Joe for backup. Joe takes your hand.
"We have to let her make her own choices. I'm going to support her no matter what. Let her do it." Joe replies. You give him a soft smile. After a few more talk-throughs, you end the night by checking on your father. He states that he wants you to speak to your mother so that she can hear your side. You tell him that isn't an option yet. You return to your bedroom and cuddle next to your boyfriend. You both know the road ahead will be challenging, but as long as you have Joe, you know you can do it.
You sit across Jackson and take a deep breath.
"I want to buy back your half of my father's company, " you say flat out. Jackson throws his head back, laughing.
"And why would I do that?"
"Because I'm pressing charges against you, Jackson. Everything that you have done to me will be brought to light. I am giving you the chance to fix things."
"You're not going to win. Get that through your head. Come back to me, and all of this can stop. It's your word against mine. I need you to think this through. You have no proof." Jackson chuckles.
"I-"
"I will ruin your brother's life. Aaron? Is it? Your youngest brother, right? Just getting his name out in the entertainment world, right? I will have him fucking blacklisted." Jackson threatens.
"Why are you doing this to me, Jackson? What did I do to you?"
"Come back to me, and this can be over. Your father…the rest of your family. I will leave them alone. Joe included."
You bite your lip and look around the room. A few feet away, Karen is urging you to agree to the terms.
"I want to be happy." You whisper, holding back tears. Jackson reaches over and touches your hand.
"I can make you happy like I did before. I'm different. I've changed. Let me show you." Jackson rubs the back of your hand. You shake your head.
"Joe…I love him." You finally let the words come out of your mouth. You love Joe, and it's taken you forever to say the words in fear of what your future would look like with him. But you know now that your future with Joe is as bright as the stars. Jackson starts laughing.
"No. You have no idea what you're saying right now. I have given you everything I have. I have loved you from the moment we met. You promised your life to me. Marriage kids…All of that is our future."
"I can't have kids anymore! You made sure of that! I will never come back to you. My family is stronger than you think. I've told them what you've done to me and what to expect moving forward. I gave you this meeting for a chance to change your ways, but you refused. My lawyers will be in touch." You grab your purse and exit the room. Karen chases after you and grabs your wrist.
"Think about what you're doing. Jackson is giving you the chance to make things right. Go back to him and protect your family. He can and will make everyone's life worse." Karen states, shaking your shoulders. You remove her grip and stare at her.
"You're such a sad woman. You continue to live in his spotlight, not seeing the good you could do by standing by my side. Jackson only cares for himself. The quicker you learn, the faster you will live a much better life, Karen. Testify against him. Win and be out from under his shadow. I'm doing this as a courtesy. You were supposed to protect me, and you didn't. You continue to let that man get away with everything. You're just as guilty as him in my eyes…But I'm giving you the chance to make up for your mistakes." You don't break eye contact and do your best to read over Karen's facial expression. You give her shoulder a few taps and walk away. Karen turns and walks back into the room to find Jackson pacing. You go to the lobby, where you find your boyfriend in disguise, just people-watching. You walk over and bend down, scaring him.
"I said I could do this alone." You whisper, pulling down his sunglasses. Joe shrugs.
"Just in case he tried anything. I wanted you to know you're not alone."
You kiss his lips and pull him up. The both of you exit the hotel. The ride back home sends your mind racing. You're sure your father has told your brothers, but you're not ready to face them yet, so you've been ignoring their calls. At home, Eliza, Janet, and Alex wait for the update. You tell them what everyone already knows. Jackson won't let you repurchase your dad's company; he refuses to settle. You give Janet and Alex the okay to file charges in California. With things in motion, you take the time to go to LA and finish some business for a week.
You giggle as you read over the text from Joe. Everyone in the room can see how much you glow at the mention of the football player. You can't wipe the smile off your face when you get called Joe Burrow's girlfriend. You're finally free to enjoy Joe in front of the world. It was a crazy mix of reactions, but for the most part, everyone is obsessed with the both of you.
"Yeah, she is finished up for the magazine spread. We will do a quick Q&A and then wrap it up." Eliza shouts on set. You text Joe a goodbye followed by a kissy face emoji. You miss him, but with his training for the upcoming season, you had to fly out and get some photoshoots done for your upcoming movie. You sit on the white sofa as your makeup artist comes and touches you up.
"So we have a special person here to help us out with this interview." The photographer announces. Your body freezes up, and you look at Eliza with horror written on your face. Jackson. It has to be Jackson. But as your special guest appears, your horror-struck eyes become filled with admiration. Joe smiles and takes a seat on the couch. Your mouth is wide open as you stare at him in complete shock. You launch yourself onto his lap as he laughs.
"Suprise, baby," Joe whispers in your ear. You lean back, and he kisses your lips.
"What's this?" You ask as Eliza hands you cards. You read over the cards.
"GQ couples quiz," Joe replies, fixing his shirt and licking your chocolate Fenty lipgloss off his lips. You cannot wipe the smile off your face as you read over the cards.
"You guys ready?" Eliza asks. You nod eagerly and sit back, wiggling in your seat. You start by introducing yourself and Joe.
"What's my favorite color?" You ask. Joe scratches his head, laughing.
"That's easy, yellow. Not too bright, like a nice mellow yellow. Not the drink." Joe laughs, replying. You nod and ding him for the point.
"What food do I love, and what food do I hate?" You ask next. Joe laughs and leans back. He takes a moment to think, and you give him a look.
"She loves lasagna, and she hates soups. Any soup she complains, but she also hates onion, but she will tear French Onion soup up, so it's like weird." Joe sits up, staring at you. You hide behind your cards, giggling.
"French onion is just too good! Okay, what's my favorite fast food, and what is my go to order?"
"You don't even eat out like that, umm, Chick-fil-A, and she always gets the Cool Wrap with extra ranch packet, a lemonade, and fries." He replies. You clap for him and tell them to give him extra points.
"He's so attentive like I barely eat out. I think I had that when we first started dating. Speaking of, how did you ask me out?"
"This is embarrassing. When we first started talking, we would send each other songs. So, I sent her Girlfriend by Charlie Puth. She messaged me and asked, What does this mean? And I replied precisely what the song says."
"What did you respond?" A guy asks off camera. You giggle behind the cards.
"Yes. I didn't send a song back because I was so shy and too busy giggling." You reply, flipping to the next card.
"What did you do for the first date?" The guy asks. You look at Joe, letting him take the lead.
"We did ABC dates for the first 26 dates; we did something corresponding to the alphabet. So, date one was an aquarium date." Joe smiles at you, shooting you a wink.
"Who said I love you first?" You ask, reading the next card. Joe leans back, laughing.
"I did. I knew I was in love with her from the first date. Without reading the little cards next to each animal, she would start this long rant about information on them. I was fascinated and had to stand back and stare at her. Although when I first said I love you, it threw her off, and she ghosted me for weeks."
"Joseph!" You giggle playfully, shoving him. Joe whispers that he loves you, and your heart flutters. You blow him a kiss and read the next card.
"How did we meet?"
"At her cousin's wedding. I knew the groom, and they introduced us, so I owe Matty a big thank you.
"Were you a fan of hers before meeting her?" The director asks. Joe nods his head.
"I was. Who isn't a fan? After we started hanging out, I did a deep dive for sure, but haha, I was always a fan. My family members are huge fans of her, so it worked out." Joe replies, licking his lips. You hide behind your cards.
"What's my favorite movie."
"Titanic."
"Ding! What's a pet peeve you have about me."
"None. I'm too in love with you. Next question."
"There has to be one. I won't get upset." You reply, waiting for an answer.
"Hmmm. She falls asleep with the TV on. I like silence. But I would do anything to keep her happy, so I don't care." Joe states, grinning.
"What's the first thing I made you to eat?"
"Man…I think it was spaghetti or something."
"Ding. That's correct." You give your boyfriend a few claps.
"What was my favorite subject in school?"
"I think English? No history. She's a history buff!" Joe replies you give him another ding for his correction.
"What's my phone number?"
"I can't say that. Are they going to beep it out?" Joe asks. The producers give him a thumbs up, and Joe gives out your phone number.
"She doesn't know my number."
"To be fair, I don't remember anyone's number." You laugh and go to the next card.
"What is your favorite thing about me?" This time, when you ask, you stare straight into those blue orbs across from you. Joe leans forward and takes your hand.
"I love everything about you. I love that our humor is the same. I love how you protect those you love. I love the way your mind works. I love your strength. I never thought I would be able to fall more in love with you, but every day, you show me that's possible." Joe rubs the back of your hand, and you look away, holding back tears.
"Give him all the points, " you jokingly state, wiping your eyes. You toss the cards and throw yourself at your boyfriend, causing the set to laugh. After you guys wrap up on set, Joe follows you back to the hotel. You guys find yourselves in bed kissing each other endlessly. Your mouth detaches from Joe's, only to breathe in and return to his lips. Joe moans into the kiss, causing you to squeeze your thighs together involuntarily.
"Take this off," Joe whispers, pulling at your t-shirt. You sit up and toss it to the floor. Joe pulls you back on top of his lap and takes your nipple into his mouth. You look down at him with glossy eyes. Joe grips your hips tightly. You hiss as he pulls back slowly on your nipple between his teeth. Joe sucks on it gently, and you rake your fingers through his hair. While Joe is busy sucking on your nipple, you move your hand down to the waistband of his briefs, releasing his cock. Joe releases your nipple and stares up at you as you start pumping him in your hand. Joe lifts you and sheaths himself entirely in you. You both sigh while you clench around his shaft.
"Fuck baby, don't do that. I'm going to cum." Joe whispers, pulling you back down for a messy kiss.
"Missed this so so much," You pull away from the kiss and lean back as Joe starts bouncing you up and down on his cock. You lean forward so that your forehead touches his.
"Yeah, you miss this. Such a good girl." Joe groans, feeling you clench around him again. He slaps your thigh, and you giggle. You bend down and capture his lips. Joe's kisses are lazy because he is too focused on bouncing you up and down his cock chasing his release. It's only been a week of separation, but your dear boyfriend desperately wanted you. Joe groans when you pull his head back by his hair. You start leaving open mouth kisses on his neck.
"I'm cumming." Joe groans as you suck on his neck. You giggle and pull back to see your handy work. Joe sighs, holding you down as you continue to milk everything he gives you. You pick yourself up and plop down on the bed beside him. Joe rolls over and stares at you. Before you got here, Joe had spent at least 15 minutes devouring you, so it was only fair he got his ending, too. You can feel his semen dripping down your legs, which makes you giggle at the sensation.
"What?" Joe asks.
"The strike started, so I won't be promoting anything. I can give all my time to you." You whisper. Joe closes his eyes.
"Do you trust me, Joseph?"
"With my whole heart."
You close your eyes and join your boyfriend in a deep sleep. The next day, you and Joe find yourselves eating out. A few fans ask for photos and autographs which you both have no problem doing. When you return to your hotel, you and Joe take a hot shower, not missing a moment to touch each other. After the shower, you take a much-needed nap. You and Joe fly back home and bury yourself in the case you are building against Jackson. You have not spoken to your father since he shared about your mother. Your brothers have tried to reach out to you, but you're not ready for that talk.
"Can you go into more detail about the Oscar night?" Janet asks,
bringing you back to the present. You ignore your oldest brother's text and place your phone on the table.
"Like what?"
"Did he assault you?… Physically?" She clarifies. You take a deep breath and nod your head.
"How long do we need to do this? I have surgery today." You state changing the subject. Janet looks at Alex.
"We can end here. Are you nervous about the surgery?"
"Yes, I want it to work out. I want to be a mother, " you reply.
Alex drives you to the hospital, where Joe meets you. He kisses your lips and tells you how brave you are then you are and that he will be waiting for you when you wake up. And just like he promised, Joe was at your side when you woke up and through recovery. Before you knew it, the season started. As always, you went to the games with his family and cheered him on. You ran into Jackson once and were surprised by the outcome.
"You win. Have your team contact mine. I'll follow whatever rules you set." Jackson stated. You stared at him in disbelief.
"First, let me buy back my father's company."
"You wanted a legit deal, have your team contact mine."
"Fine." You say, turning to walk away, but JAckson's next word surprises you.
"I'm sorry."
You can't find it in yourself to turn back and face him, but hearing those exact words you heard so many times from him seems haunting. You get the courage to turn around and face him with tears in your eyes; you take a deep breath.
"This could have all been avoided. What you have done to me, I'll never be able to forgive you, so keep your apology. Your words mean absolutely nothing to me." You state sternly. Jackson chuckles and wipes his face.
"For what it's worth, I loved you. I truly loved you."
"Well, you had a fucked up way of showing it."
"Get away from her." You hear Joe's mother shout. She quickly steps in between you. Jackson nods his head and walks away. She turns around and pulls you into a hug. You and Joe had sat down with his parents and broke the news a few weeks ago. Her actions shocked you but warmed your heart.
"Are you okay? Did he say anything to you-"
"Mrs.Burrow, I'm-"
"Mom. I told you to call me mom…if that's okay." She whispers, cupping your face to wipe the tears. You smile and nod.
"Mom, I'm okay." You sniffle, and she hugs you again. You guys make your way to the game. It has been a stressful few weeks for Joe, from your surgery to losing a few games. Joe always took it so hard and blamed himself. But you were there to comfort him always. After the team won, you guys went out to celebrate. Joe's hand never left yours through the night. You sipped your drink and leaned over.
"It's been four weeks, and I got the okay from my doctor. So-"
"Check this out." Andrei holds up his phone to Joe. Joe reads the headline, and you watch his face twist. You lean over to read it yourself, your hand moving faster than you can process as you rip the phone from Joe's hand.
"Jackson and longtime girlfriend are expecting their first child…. longtime girlfriend?"
Andrei looks at Joe, confused. You hand the phone back and storm out of the party. This is why he was so uncaring. You call Janet, and she already knows. It's a complete wrench thrown in your plan.
"We should still meet him and go over the contract. He doesn't want it to get out so-"
You hang up and lean over, feeling sick. Joe comes to comfort you. You don't know if it's the news or the drinks, but you're dizzy. Joe holds your waist and steadies you on your feet. You guys leave the celebration as paparazzi snap away, screaming questions at you. You get into the vehicle and break down. Joe pulls you into his arms. In times like this, he feels so hopeless; the only thing he can give you is comfort. You cry well into the morning, and when you wake up, you suffer from puffy eyes and sore throat.
"We can reschedule this meeting if you're not up to this today," Joe states. You ignore him and continue fixing your makeup.
"Honey-"
"Just stop! I don't need to be babied. You're suffocating me!" You shout, slamming the door in his face. You didn't mean to lash out, but you're stressed. Jackson is always steps ahead of you. After you finish getting ready, you look for Joe to apologize. You find him on the phone in the kitchen. LA is not a good place for you; you want to run back to Ohio with Joe as soon as possible. Joe hangs up the phone and turns to you with a half smile.
"I'm sorry." You whisper. Joe shrugs.
"We should get going. Janet just called and said Jackson is there already…with your mother."
The bad news keeps rolling in. You guys meet at Jackson's local law firm. Janet and Alex are already there. You look over at Jackson's "girlfriend" and roll your eyes. You know her. It's someone you trained with in the past, but she never broke out as a star. You tell the ladies you will meet them inside the conference room.
"How long have you been with Jackson?" You ask her. She rubs her belly.
"Going on eight years."
You laugh and throw your head back. Courtney stares at you, not amused.
"How much is he paying you to say that? You know he was with me-"
"You're delusional. You and Jackson had a strictly professional relationship. He told me how obsessed you were."
"Court, we trained together. You saw me and Jackson together all the time. He-"
"He said you guys messed around once, and you just wouldn't back off."
"You can't honestly think he is going to treat you better? He is not sane. He will crush you until there is nothing left."
"Look, he helped your career. Be fucking grateful. I want that, too. Unlike you, I won't let him break me because we both need something from each other." Courtney says with a smile. She bumps into you and walks into the room. Jackson makes his way over.
"Courtney. Longtime girlfriend? What is wrong with you?"
"I'm sorry. What we had was fun, but you can't honestly think you were the only one. Right?" Jackson chuckles and brushes the hair from your face. He kisses your forehead.
"You made me an enemy, and I told you it wouldn't be pretty. Listen to me next time." He says before backing off and walking away. You get yourself composed before walking into the room and spotting your mother. Janet and Alex start going over your demands. Jackson agrees with them all, but you have zoned out.
"No deal." You interrupt. Everyone stops talking and looks at you.
"What?"
"You can't buy my silence. You took my voice a long time ago, but it's back. I won't let you get away with anything you did. I'll see you in court." You stand up and walk out as Jackson calls after you. Janet and Alex will follow you out. Joe waited in the care for you. You shock him when you climb into the car.
"What happened?-"
"Please just drive." You say. Joe nods and pulls out. Once you guys reach the parking garage, climb onto his lap and kiss him. Joe tries to talk between kisses but can't catch a break. He finally lightly grabs your hair and pulls you back.
"Baby? Talk to me."
"You're right. I need to speak up so other women know what kind of person he is…I'm taking him to court." You lean back and look into his blue eyes. Joe nods his head.
"I'm proud of you."
And when Janet and Alex reach your hotel, you have everything drawn up and the story released. Your comment section on IG becomes too much that you deactivate them. Joe suffers an injury, and life seems to be slapping you both down. The world was calling you a liar, and though they didn't say it to your face, some co-stars sided with Jackson. Jackson was thriving, just as you expected, until some lip reader on TikTok posted just the evidence needed. Eliza handed you her phone.
"Do you remember that day?" She asks
"Here he is telling her, fix your face before I fix it for you. And then you see her smile." The girl states, pointing out Jackson's words. Of course, you remember that night. It was Emmy night, and Jackson had screamed at you the whole way over about the dress you wore being too revealing even though he controlled every aspect of you. He chose that dress. Another tiktoker who is known for body language analyzes the same clip.
"Look how tight he grabs her wrist when she tries to walk away. Jackson Taylor is an abusive man. Hashtag, we believe you." The guy states. You continue to look through the hashtag and see that you have gained support. People believe you.
"I have to see this through. I have to be open about everything." You whisper. Your eyes drift to Joe, who is on the phone in the kitchen. Eliza follows your gaze. Once Joe is off the phone, he finds you alone in the living room, staring at the blank TV.
"Hey."
You pat the seat next to you.
"What's up?" He asks, taking a seat.
"This is going to be a long process for me. I need the space to see this through."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm moving back to LA."
"I can come to stay with you and-"
"You need to focus on healing…and in a way, so do I."
"I don't get what you're saying?" Joe nervously chuckles.
"Joe, don't make this harder than it needs to be. I can't give you all of me because he still has it. It's not fair to you or me. I have to fight him and this alone. I need my focus to be on this."
Joe stands up abruptly, scaring you for a second.
"I have been supportive. I have been the supportive boyfriend this whole time! And you're going to leave me just like that. When I'm at my weakest?"
"Stop yelling, please. I know this is frustrating, but-"
"But nothing!"
"Joe, this is hard for me too!"
"Then fight for us too? I love you. I have shown you time and time again. After everything we've been through, you can drop us like that?"
"Joe, I can't love you like you love me. I'm broken. I told you from the start. I told you. Nothing can fix me." You cry. Eliza comes from her bedroom, shocked about all the noise.
"I'm begging you to fight for us."
"I don't have any more fights left. I'm sorry, Joe." You whisper. Joe stands still, letting the silence fill the room. It's selfish. He knows it, but if he has to be selfish to keep you near him, he will become the most selfish person on the planet. But you're walking away from him. Joe can hear you saying words, but he can't understand them. It's as if you're speaking another language. Finally, Eliza brings him back.
"She's gone. She asked me to pack up her things and have it shipped to LA. I'm sorry, Joe. I'm shocked as you."
"I have to let her go. I can't be another guy that forces her to be in a relationship." Joe whispers and walks away. Eliza finds you in the car crying. She is confused by your actions, but she trusts that the both of you will find your way back to each other.
When you return to LA, rumors spread about you and Joe breaking up. People speculate that he broke up with you for obvious reasons. You keep yourself busy with Janet and Alex. Sometimes, you find yourself asking Janet about Joe. She tells you he's doing better, which is all you wanted. The hardest part about the case was getting people to speak up against Jackson. Everyone you emailed denied any involvement, even your old manager. Finally, one day, you get a visit from your old makeup artist.
"I'll testify." She states flat out. Janet smiles and nods.
"What can you bring to the table?" Alex asks.
"I was her makeup artist for two years. I can't tell you how many bruises I was paid to cover in those two years. I confronted Jackson, and he fired me. He threatened my family….when she found out she had paid me in secret for years. I've been running some of her clinics for women who are running from DV situations. I will tell them everything." Viola squeezes your hand, and you pull her into a hug.
"You helped so many women; they don't even know it. Thank you." Viola states. You are pulled into a hug and smile. Viola leaves you with Janet.
"Why didn't you tell me about the clinics? This-"
"Because they are all under Viola's name. I didn't want to have my name attached because of Jackson." You reply.
"This is huge. With her testimony, we really have something." Janet leans over the rail, looking out at the city.
"I miss him." You say, staring at the pool.
"He misses you too," Janet replies.
"He's never going to forgive me."
"He's upset, but I'm sure he would fall on his hands and knees if you walked into his door. I have never seen little Joseph so in love."
The thought makes you smile, but you know, deep down inside, Joe deserves someone with less baggage and Less damage. Because that's what you were… damaged goods. Some other guys ruined artwork. Joe could never put back the pieces.
"Your mom is here." Eliza interrupts. You take a deep breath. You were the one who called her to visit, so it's time to face the woman who gave birth to you.
it has been so longggg. I am sorry! But I am back. I am doing much better. I had a grippy sock vacation in the fall but I am feeling much better haha. This chapter sucks but we MOVE! I am getting back into the groove of writing again lol
#joe burrow fan fic#joe burrow x you#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow#joe burrow fic#joe burrow x y/n#joe burrow bengals#joe burrow smut#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow imagines#joey b#nfl imagine
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OUR SECRET — MYG
chapter one
Summary: You and Yoongi are having an affair. No, you are not being his lover. But the world is not ready to know that an idol is dating someone. So you two were doing your best to make sure no one found out. Until he breaks up with you. His mistake.
Author's note: This fanfic will contain inappropriate language and intimate moments between some characters. Be warned. I will let you know if anything becomes inappropriate. Please enjoy this Yoongi fanfic.
AO3LINK NEXT
"You're in denial, you could just say you didn't want me anymore. But you prefer to pretend that..." You throw his favorite book out the window like it means nothing. 'Cause now it doesn't mean.
"You can't blame me, our romance should have ended a long time ago. But you and I..." Yoongi seems almost too serious saying this. Do you mean nothing to him?
"You and me what?" You respond from the balcony of your apartment. Luckily your neighbors aren't too curious to know why you're yelling at your ex-lover.
"You know I can't shout that here, some fans might be here." Poor little thing, at that moment you wonder where the brave man is who asked you to embark on this relationship even though you knew your worlds would never be the same.
"I thought the whole point of paying a lot of money to live in an apartment far from the big city and known for its discretion would be being able to yell at you at two in the morning." You don't care if he thinks he's going to leave you without anything more or less, and that you're going to come out of this situation smiling, he should have found someone else to have sex with.
"If you would let me come up, we could talk like adults." He speaks subtly with an impressive poker face. If he stops being a musician, perhaps he could try a career as an actor or a gambler.
"Like adults? I'll be waiting for the other adult to arrive." You say throwing some clothes that are in your apartment that belong to him.
"Like you're being mature about all this. Damn!" One of his belongings ends up breaking near his feet. In fright he lets out several swear words, you luckily end up laughing.
"You break up with me over the phone and I have to be mature. I gave up part of my freedom to be yours. And look what I get in return." Anger took over you initially but now all you can do is try to keep from crying.
"Y/N. Let me in, so we can talk. I can see you almost crying from here." You smile lightly as you feel tears fall down your cheek. What a humiliation.
"If you cared about me you would have had the decency to say that you wanted to finish it the last time you were here." His cowardice can only be explained by his fear of having to do this in person.
"I couldn't. I didn't..." That was exactly what was left of the two of you. An awkward silence and resentment.
"Do you know how frustrating it is not being able to curse your name or tell someone you broke my heart?" You say that sobbing. What a tragedy it is that has made you sentimental now.
"Just because we don't work anymore doesn't mean I don't love you." You look at him and for a moment you feel more sorry for him than for yourself.
"If this is how you love someone. I'm sorry to inform you that you don't know love." Ironically it makes you smile. Maybe this is all his fault, not yours.
"Love..." It's very painful to see the man you've been involved with for the last year, call you that and not be able to respond.
"I'll send the rest of your things to the company. Don't worry, I won't expose you any more than I already have. Now get out of here, you and your fake love." Using one of his songs as the grand finale was a majestic act. Crying yourself to sleep, unfortunately, is not so majestic.
Two Months Later...
"You were the only person I thought would understand my situation. Try not to judge me but I need an opinion." You say looking Namjoon in the eyes. You got really close to him during your secret relationship with Yoongi.
"Is it too big a secret?" He asks entering his new home. A home where you swore you would start over.
"You tell me..." You say, opening your coat and revealing your stomach.
"Did you call me here because you gained weight after the breakup or do you have worms?" Namjoon asks and you smile nervously. Until you shake your head denying.
"Let's say the weight gain is due to something prior to the breakup..." You try not to say the word. Maybe the situation will go away if you don't name it.
"You are pregnant?" He named his current situation. Now it means it's really happening.
"Surprise!" You say trying to liven up the situation but you know you're fucked. Namjoon seems really surprised. As soon as he assimilates the information, he hugs you. You knew you could lean on the friendship you two have.
#min yoongi#yoongi x reader#min yoongi x reader#reader insert#spotify#bts fanfic#yoongi fanfic#bts angst#bts smut#min yoongi x you#yoongi fic#yoongi angst#ex to enemies to lovers#namjoon#seokjin#taehyung#jungkook#jhope#jimin
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RETURN - PT 1
summary: five years ago he left you. left you alone with nothing but memories of your love. so how dare he come back now?
contents: 1.5k words, fem!omaticaya reader, angst, swearing
authors note: AHHHH first chapter i'm so excited to post this guys!! thankuu to all my mooties that helped me brew this series
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Nothing could ever surmount to the despair you felt that day. The day he looked into your weeping eyes, looked right into your aching soul, and told you he was leaving.
Leaving. You begged him to take you with him. Pleaded with his pained expression to let you stay with him. To take you with him. To walk every journey together.
But he didn’t. He shook his head, pursing his lips that have kissed you for the last time. Crossing his arms that embraced you for the last time. He said no. One simple word that crushed your entire self.
“It won’t be safe, I can’t take you from the forest, this is your home.” No. No he was your home! He was your everything. The last face you look at when you say goodnight to the day left behind you. The one you would run to, so you could tell him everything good and bad. The man you imagined your entire life to be with.
That same man who was running from his home, to never return back to you.
You pleaded with him, crashing onto your knees, wrapping your arms around his torso. Crying into him as you begged to accompany him. How could he leave you? How could he have the heart to tear out yours.
“Y/N…let go.” His deep voice ring deep in your ears. You knew he was talking about your physical grip on him. But it felt so much deeper. Let go. Let go of us. Let go of everything we ever were. Let go of me.
You shook your head desperately, hands still clinging to his body. The rough soil beneath you cutting into your knees but no cut would ever be as deep as the one he had laid into your soul.
It was as if the hands he took to pry your frail body off him were the daggers that were slicing up your heart. Leaving wounds so deep they would never heal. How could you ever heal from this?
You looked up at him, tears letting his cheeks dampen, his face showing nothing but grief as he met your hurt eyes.
“I have to go…Y/N you know I have to.” You did. You knew you had no say in this. Your words were insignificant to begin with.
His figure crouched down in front of you. Wiping the salty tears that stained your cheeks. He saw the way your chin quivered as he caressed your beautiful face.
A salty, sweet kiss was the last one you ever shared with him. A kiss you both cried into, gripping onto each other knowing it was the last time. It was bittersweet. To share a moment so close together only to be ripped apart.
All that connected you both was memories. Memories that now serve you nothing but hurt.
Five years had passed. Five dreadful years.
You were now a 20 year old woman. Adorned with your bow and the physique of a fit warrior. Though no amount of time could ever heal the cuts he left so deep in you.
For the first year, you were nothing but a shell. Never eating, never sleeping. You simply existed. Which was a chore to do without him.
You wished nothing but to stop existing. To stop experiencing every bit of sadness, every bit of grief. To stop mourning the loss of the only man you could ever love.
Tears were your most worn accessory, no one ever daring to tell you they looked bad. Too scared to send you spiralling even more than you already had.
Though, those times you spent rocking in your hammock. Looking at the stars that lit up the night sky, those cuts that ran deep within you, the cuts that caused so pain. They started to seep.
Started to seep blood red rage.
How could he ever have left you? Was he so selfish to not think of the effect this would have on you? Did he simply not care?
How was the one time he decided to act selfishly be the time wounded the one who loved him most? To be so selfish, to claim he would be keeping you safe.
Safe to what? The sky-people that reigned free through your planet. Constantly on the verge of war to aliens that had no consideration for your people. Just like he had no consideration for your heart.
You wanted to hate him. You wanted to hate him so bad, that every memory of him would fade into a blood red image of evil. That every memory would turn into a disgusting thought of a disgusting man.
You wanted to hate him with every fibre in your body. But you couldn’t.
Maybe that’s when everything stopped looking so blood red. When everything dulled out. Nothing mattered, he would never come back.
So with a tainted heart and an aching soul, you accepted that you would never experience the love of your mate every again. Never feel his touch, hear his voice, smell his scent, taste his kisses. You would never be with him.
That’s were Va’tep entered into your life. Barging into your knocked down walls and building a crappy foundation.
Va’tep, Tarsem’s younger brother. One year your elder. A fierce warrior, a man who refused to lose, a man who claimed what was his. And to him, you were his.
Your parents always longed for status. To be high up in the clan. You were their golden ticket, finding your way into the heart of Toruk Makto’s eldest son. They rejoiced in your heart’s residence, rejoiced in the fact that you fulfilled their one wish. They were your number one advocate. Pushing you to train for your rite of passage ever since you became closer with the boy. They worked every inch of their being towards the union between the pair of you.
But the hard work washed away as fast as the waterfall plunged.
Washing away all your dreams, your happiness, your meaning. It washed away your parent’s status, Va’tep being the life guard that pulls them out of the strong currents.
Nothing could ever amount to him though. Your heart resided with someone else as your body laid with his. You felt yourself fill with shame every time you shared a touch. A shiver of disgust running down your entire body. Breaking the vow of your love towards the boy who broke you.
“Where’s your head at beautiful?” That was what he called you. Beautiful. His voice would never be as sweet as his. Never send the right shivers through you.
Va’tep’s calloused hands caressed your cheek, so rough it felt as if he was dragging you with his touch. Everything he did was rough. Rough like the soil you pleaded on.
Maybe this was Eywa laughing in your face. Giving you a man so opposite to the man you craved so desperately. Even after 5 years, Eywa would never let you forget those memories.
Shrugging his hands off your body, he let out a low hiss. One that showed his offence towards your actions. A hiss so quiet, it would only be heard if you cared. But you didn’t. Something else was clouding your mind, taking your attention away from him. And it wasn’t just your past lover.
You made your way towards the growing crowd of people that formed around the entrance of High Camp. Va’tep’s calls after you were silenced by the gasps and whispers of your people that were creating confusion that bubbled in your stomach.
Pushing yourself to the front of the crowd, definitely stepping on the feet of others. You looked for the source of the commotion. Ears perking up and eyes squinting to find the one thing people were gawking at.
Though now as you look towards the source, you wish you minded your business. Everything was coming back. Every emotion, every curse, every thought, every tear. They all fell on top of you, crushing your soul as you let out a small whimper in fear.
The source was making its way towards you. No. No. NO. This can’t happen. This cannot be happening. Feet stumbling as you paced backwards, avoiding looking straight ahead.
Dread filled your entire being. Filling it from your toes until it felt as if it would spill out of you, gurgling in the pits of your stomach. No. No. NO.
Crashing into the back of a person, you were forced to halt your escape. Frozen in shock as you looked at the man who had broken your heart and given it back to you.
Lips quivering, tears pooling in your eyes. He reached his hands towards you. How could he come back? Why was he back? This is all some sort of sick dream. A nightmare.
“My beautiful girl.” His voice was deeper, still so sweet it would cause a cavity. It enticed you. You had been without his voice for so long.
So long…because he left you. Because he was cruel and selfish.
Shaking your head profusely, just like you did that dreaded day. Your hands shook as you pointed at him, an accusatory finger aimed at him as your mind swirled.
“I’m here now.” He should have never left, he should have NEVER left. What a sick fuck. To come back expecting open arms when all you wanted was to never have your arms leave him. “Beautiful? What is it?”
“I am not your beautiful, Neteyam.”
tags: @8resa @ilovejakesullysdick @neteyamsblog @live-laugh-neteyam @reyalvr @trashfox @darkacademictrash @scntfrhs @dreamyescapesfromreality @fanboyluvr @neteyamzmate @oceanstar19 @sharkybabe9
thankyou sm for reading lovelies!! reblogs + replies sososososo appreciated ilysm ily ily
#neteyam oneshot#avatar#neteyam#avatar the way of water#neteyam angst#neteyam x reader#neteyam x y/n#neteyam scenario#neteyam imagine#neteyam sully#avatar oneshot#avatar 2 fanfic#oneshot#imagine#fanfiction#neteyam fanfiction#neteyam avatar#neteyam series#avatar twow#neteyam x omaticaya!reader#neteyam x you
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instead of you [part twenty-six] || l.mh
pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.
warnings: swearing, angst, smut (mdni)
word count: 5.1k
a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!
series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi
additional smut warnings: oral (f receiving), protected sex, multiple orgasms
The silence that followed your admission was excruciating. You wished you knew what Minho was thinking. He was impossible to read, aside from the evident anger written all over his face. His body language didn’t give much away either. He was closed off, arms folded across his chest, chin raised just slightly.
“So who are you then?” he demanded, tone even despite being the exact opposite mere moments ago.
“What?”
“Who are you? Are you just some girl that Jisung is using?”
“What the fuck, no!”
“Why are you acting like that’s some outrageous possibility? I just found out you’ve been lying to everyone all summer!”
“I’ve been Jisung’s best friend for like four years now, I’m all over his Instagram! Felix came to visit us and we all hung out, there are pictures of that too. I can’t believe you’d think I’m some random person!”
“You’ll have to forgive me for not thinking completely rationally right now!” he spat. “Why the hell would Jisung lie about- why would he say he had a girlfriend if he didn’t?”
“It’s a long story,” you mumbled with a sigh. “But we really don’t have time to get into that right now. I came up here because I was supposed to bring you back to the room.”
Minho made a face. “What, why?”
“Your cousins called.”
The shift in his demeanor was immediate. He visibly perked up, but only briefly, before seeming to remember the conversation he was having. “Jeongin and Yoon?”
“Yeah. Everyone else is on FaceTime with them right now. I told everyone I’d come to get you so that none of them would have to miss out on talking to him,” you explained. “So we should probably get going because I don’t know how long he has to chat.”
“Fine,” Minho surrendered easily, “but we’re not done talking about this.”
“Yeah, yeah I know,” you sighed again, still feeling nauseous. With everything that had already happened, you knew there was no way that this could end well. But now, now that one person knew it was all a lie, you were fucked. “Just… don’t tell anyone, please?”
He pursed his lips but nodded. “You sure have a lot of secrets to keep track of, don’t you?”
It was meant to sting, and it did, but you didn’t let him see the crack in the glass.
“I could say the same for you.”
-
You slipped into your room as soon as you got back to the penthouse, not wanting to face any of the other Hans, especially not your best friend. You collapsed onto the bed with a muffled scream into your pillow.
You expected yourself to start crying, but the tears didn’t come. They wouldn’t come. The initial panic had been replaced with numbness. Apathy personified, you could feel it spreading from your heart out through your veins, creating a tingling sensation that reached the very tips of your fingers.
You had to tell Jisung, right? He’d understand… probably. You hadn’t told Minho. He figured it out on his own. Yeah, you should tell Jisung and then you could also come clean about… everything else. Maybe. But maybe you could also take it to your grave since it seemed like any possibility of you and Minho becoming an item, whatever that implied, was out of the question now. You knew he didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. Not after tonight. You couldn’t erase his look of betrayal from your mind no matter how hard you tried.
Just how many people were you hurting by merely being on this trip? There was no way to know for sure, not that knowing would make you feel any less guilty.
Maybe it was better not to tell Jisung. Maybe you could pretend like everything was fine, and then it would be. But that was what had gotten you in trouble in the first place.
You hadn’t realized you had fallen asleep until you woke up with a jolt some hours later. The room was dark. The lamp had been switched off and the blinds were shut. Jisung was snoring softly beside you. He was tucked under the covers while you were still laying on top of them.
You rolled over and felt for your phone, finding it underneath your pillow. You were surprised to see that you had missed a text from Minho. It was from an hour and a half ago and just said can you meet me in room 422?
You weren’t sure if he would still be waiting there since it had been so long since he sent the message, but you responded with a tentative sure and quietly snuck out of your bedroom. You hoped Jisung wouldn’t wake up before you returned. Having to explain where you were or why you were there would only complicate things. You still hadn’t decided whether or not to tell him… anything. You needed more time to think things through. At least, that’s the excuse you told yourself.
The fourth floor was eerily quiet, reminding you of how late it was. Stepping off the elevator into the hallway felt like a mistake, like you were trespassing on private property. Minho hadn’t replied to your text so you didn’t know if he was still awake, but you knocked at the door anyway. He answered after the second knock.
“There you are,” he said and stepped aside to let you in. He seemed to have cooled down, which was a good sign, but there was still tension lingering between you.
You slid by him, stopping in the entryway just past the door. The room he had summoned you to was just a plain hotel room. There was a queen-size bed in the middle of the room and a desk in the corner, but not much else.
“You can sit wherever.”
You nodded in acknowledgment and perched yourself on the edge of the bed. Minho followed you but refrained from sitting, choosing to lean back against the dresser so that he could face you.
“Why’d you want to meet me here?” you asked.
“I, uh, thought that talking in my room back at the apartment would look kind of weird if anyone saw us,” he explained awkwardly, “and the walls are thin too.”
“Alright, you have a point,” you admitted with a shaky exhale. “Whose room is this?”
“It’s mine. I went down to the lobby and booked it for the night.”
Oh to have a K-pop-sized disposable income.
“Oh, right. Should have thought of that.” You swallowed thickly, trying still to appear calm, cool, and collected. “Well, what did you want to talk about?”
You realized that Minho hadn’t mentioned wanting to talk in his text. You were just assuming. But given the events of the night, you felt that it was a pretty safe assumption to make.
“I wanted to know why you and Jisung lied to everyone,” he took a brief pause before continuing, “and why I now have to lie to everyone too.”
You bit your tongue, stopping yourself before you could point out that he was already lying to everyone, and just nodded.
“So the thing is, when he told your parents he had a girlfriend, he did have a girlfriend. They broke up, like, less than a week after he told them that and I guess he was too embarrassed to break the news because they were so excited for him and had already invited her on the trip. Jisung figured that maybe he’d have another girlfriend by the time he actually had to go on the trip, but when the end of the semester rolled around and he didn’t, I kind of filled the vacancy because he asked me to.”
“But why?” Minho pressed. “Why was it so important for him to be dating someone?”
“I don’t know, actually. He told me that it was to make your parents happy because they were always bugging him about his dating life, but I thought there might have been another reason that he just wasn’t telling me.”
Minho hummed thoughtfully. “Mom and dad are pretty nosy about our lives, but I don’t know why he would feel pressured to be in a relationship.”
“I think he felt like he had something to prove,” you said, choosing your words carefully. You knew how rocky Jisung’s relationship with his older brother was, at least from what he told you. You didn’t want to give Minho anything he could hold against him. “You’re not going to say anything to your parents or Felix, are you?”
“No,” he answered immediately and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “That’s his prerogative, I suppose. I don’t want to start anything between us- it’s not my place to say anything, really.”
“Thank you.”
He let his arms drop to his sides but didn’t move from where he was standing. “So, there’s really nothing going on between you and Jisung?”
“No, I swear.”
“Even after spending all this time together on the trip?”
“Nope, we spend all of our time together anyway.”
“So are you… friends with benefits?” he asked.
“No. We’ve made out a few times, but it really just happens when we’re drunk. We never slept together.”
“But what about…” he trailed off, but you understood what he was talking about instantly.
“Oh, no! That was all fake. We just did that to sell it more, and sometimes to mess with you guys.”
“I knew there was no way he could be that good,” Minho whispered.
You chuckled but came to your friend’s defense. “He seems to do pretty well for himself. Girls usually call him back after staying over so he must be doing something right.”
“I can’t believe it was fake,” Minho mumbled, mostly to himself. “Sorry, I’m still processing this.”
“Take your time.”
You leaned back on the palms of your hands, feeling a little more relaxed now that you knew he didn’t hate you.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked finally, letting the mask fall the tiniest bit. “After I kissed you the first time? Or when you kissed me back? This whole time I’ve felt like such an asshole for- for everything that happened.”
“I thought about it,” you admitted, “but Jisung and I agreed that it would stay between us. I’m sorry.”
“I get why you didn’t. I just wish it could have been different.”
“Me too,” you agreed.
Minho crossed over to the bed and sat down next to you.
“I’m sorry I went through your stuff.”
You threw your head back laughing. You hadn’t expected him to say that. “It’s fine. Honestly, it’s a relief not to have to keep up the act around you anymore.”
“Oh yeah? And why’s that?” Minho raised an eyebrow and grinned, making you shy away from his gaze.
You looked down at your lap.
“Because it was exhausting! I don’t know how to act.” It was a half-truth, and you suspected that he knew it.
“You had me fooled.”
You managed to look back up at him only to find him staring at your lips. This was not how you imagined this conversation going at all.
“Maybe I should change career paths then,” you choked out.
“Yeah, maybe.”
A few more beats of silence lapsed between you before Minho spoke again.
“All of this time we could have been doing this,” he murmured gently.
You scrunched your face up in confusion. “What’s ‘doing this’?”
He leaned forward and bridged the gap between you by pressing his lips to yours to answer your question. His hand came up to your hair instinctively, muscle memory, and brushed it out of your face before cupping your jaw. You melted into him like you had done too many times before, letting him trace the curves of your face with his thumb like he was trying to memorize it.
His palm was warm and you could feel the calluses on his hand against your cheek. You were the first to moan, any embarrassment long forgotten as you climbed onto his lap.
Minho accommodated your weight easily, hands immediately coming down to grab your ass. He allowed you to push him down so that he was lying flat on the bed with you straddling his waist.
Minho slipped his tongue into your mouth as the kiss intensified, teasing you with it. You whimpered when he pulled away, bottom lip jutting out into a pout. Minho just smirked and used the opportunity to flip you over so that he was on top.
Then his lips were back on you, brushing against your jaw, your neck, your collarbone. As soon as you felt his teeth graze your skin you pushed his head back and gave him a look. It was his turn to pout.
“You can’t leave marks, idiot.”
“Oh yeah, sorry,” he said apologetically, though the shit-eating grin on his face let you know that he didn’t mean it whatsoever. “Well, you can mark me up as much as you want.”
You rolled your eyes. “Lucky me.”
Minho ignored your comment and raised himself onto his hands, still hovering over you. He looked pretty, even in the dim, yellowy hotel room light. His lips were already a bit puffy, but he hadn’t even been kissing you for that long. You briefly wondered how they’d look after making out with your cunt, all swollen and glossy. You tried to squeeze your thighs together at the thought, legs closing around Minho’s hips instead. He seemed pleased at your eagerness and rewarded you with another kiss.
“Can I take your shirt off?” he asked when he came up for air. You nodded. “Here, lift up a little.”
You did as he asked so that he could work the t-shirt over your head, laughing when he tossed it on the floor.
“You weren’t wearing a bra?”
“I was about to go to sleep!”
He narrowed his eyes at you. “Likely story.”
“No, you’re right. I came here in my pajamas fully intending to seduce you.”
“Well, it worked.”
“Of course it did. Men are so easy.”
He shook his head, tongue poking his cheek. “You’re going to regret saying that.”
You cocked your head to the side, fully aware that Minho had the physical upper hand. “We’ll see.”
As soon as the words left your mouth Minho’s hands were on your boobs, effectively shutting you up. He circled a thumb around each of your nipples, smirking when you gasped and arched your back.
“Barely even touching you and look how eager you are for me,” he mused.
“T-take your shirt off too.” It was meant to be a command, but it sounded more like a plea.
“What’s the magic word?”
“Fuck you.”
“Fine, since you asked so nicely.”
Minho reached behind his neck and yanked his t-shirt off, throwing it in the same general direction as he had thrown yours. You had seen Minho shirtless plenty of times before and you still couldn’t help but stare. His body looked like one of those statues you had seen in the Louvre, carved out of marble by one of the artists they named the Ninja Turtles after.
You reached out to touch his chest, running your fingertips along his pale skin.
“Can I take these off too?” Minho asked, playing with the hem of your sweats. He snapped the elastic band against your hip, making you flinch.
“Yes, please get them off of me, it’s hot,” you whined.
You were left in just your underwear beneath him. You were usually pretty confident with sexual partners, but with Minho you felt exposed, vulnerable. You felt the urge to cover yourself, even though he was looking at you like you were a star amongst the cosmos.
He repositioned himself lower in between your legs and before you could ask what he was doing, he pressed his tongue against your clothed cunt, licking a fat stripe between your folds.
You cried out in surprise, hips bucking into his face as a string of curses left your mouth.
Minho raised his head, smiling sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been imagining what you taste like for weeks. I just had to know.”
“It felt good,” you assured him, silently begging him to continue. “Was it what you hoped it would be?”
“Better. Can I please keep going?”
“God, yes.”
He placed a hand on either one of your thighs to hold you down as he buried his head in between your legs again. He teased you with his tongue over your panties, finding your clit in an impressively short amount of time. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pushing his head against you. He groaned, his grip on your thighs tightening as you pulled his hair.
“Please, need more,” you whined.
And Minho was all too willing to give you exactly that. Instead of taking the time to take your panties off, he just pulled them to the side so that he could have complete access to your pussy. He went back to work and you both moaned. His tongue was wet and warm and felt perfect on your clit. You frowned when he started moving lower, confused as to what he was doing until you felt his tongue working you open. No one had ever tongue-fucked you before and you thought you might cum from that alone.
Minho paused again to catch his breath. “Fuck, I knew you were wet, but I didn’t expect you to be this wet,” he rasped out.
“Sorry,” you hissed, cheeks warm with embarrassment.
“Who the fuck ever told you to apologize for being turned on?”
“N-no one.”
“Good, because it’s hot.”
You scoffed.
“Lay back down,” Minho said, nodding at you to punctuate his point.
You rolled your eyes at him but did as he said anyway. “You’re so bossy.”
“Do you want me to keep going or not?”
“Fine, fine. Sorry.”
“I fucking knew you were a brat,” he sneered.
“What gave it away?” you asked sweetly.
“Take a wild guess.”
You propped yourself up on your elbows again despite just being told to lie down. “And what are you going to do about it?”
Instead of answering, Minho hooked his arms under your thighs and pulled you to the edge of the bed, making you lose your balance and yelp in surprise. You watched his shoulder muscles flex as he used his strength to push your hips down, preventing you from squirming. The sight was enough to make you want to squeeze your thighs together, but of course, Minho was stopping you from doing just that.
He pulled your panties off completely this time, apparently frustrated with the obstacle in his way. They joined the heap of clothes on the ground. You didn’t even need to look at them to know that they were ruined.
His mouth was back on you before you could get another word in, causing any snarky remark you’d been about to make dissolve into a moan. It was a little sloppy at first. He had yet to fully regain his bearings, but dove in headfirst anyway. Kisses against the crux of your thigh, nips at your hip bones. Teasing and experimental.
His touch didn’t have the practiced familiarity of a lover. Each movement was eager, exploratory. He was learning your body like he had all the time in the world, but you were growing impatient.
Your hands flew to his hair again as he finally laved his tongue over your clit. You suppressed your moans this time, remembering what he had said about the neighbors.
“Fuck, keep going,” you hissed, encouraging him to continue. “Please keep going.”
You could feel Minho smirking against your pussy, but you didn’t care. He could be as cocky as he wanted if he was going to make you feel this good.
It didn’t take much to get you to the edge. It had been a while since you’d gotten laid, and you had been wanting Minho for God knows how long… you would usually be embarrassed, not want to give a man a bigger ego than he already had, but you had a feeling Minho was trying to get you to cum before fucking you and you wanted him inside of you as quickly as possible. If anything, you were doing him a favor.
“C-close, Min. ‘M really close!”
You could barely make out the muffled “already?” that came from him between your legs, but you still rolled your eyes anyway, half-tempted to push his head away.
He guided two of his fingers inside of you, giving you something to clench around as you came. The intention behind the action is what did it. He clearly cared about your pleasure which was rare to find in a partner, especially when said partner was a man.
You came almost instantly, catching Minho off-guard as if “I’m close” hadn’t been warning enough. He must have taken it as an advanced notice rather than an immediate head’s up. He grunted in surprise as you bucked your hips up into his face, but recovered quickly, helping you ride out the orgasm until you relaxed back on the bed.
He lifted his head finally, grinning like he’d just won the lottery, and sucked your arousal off of his fingers, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand shortly afterward.
“Good?” he asked.
“Really good,” you managed to choke out.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, take your pants off.”
Minho chuckled. “Should’ve known you’d only want me for my body.”
You pursed your lips but didn’t bother responding. You both knew that wasn’t true. Otherwise, why would you be risking everything just to fuck him?
Minho pushed himself off of the bed and shimmied out of his pants. As good as he looked in the gray sweats, you knew he would look even better with them off. And you were right. Even though he was still wearing his briefs, you could see the outline of his dick much more prominently. It made your mouth water and you sat up and shifted onto your knees to return the favor he had just given you.
Minho saw you reaching out for him but shook his head.
“I need to feel you,” he said, voice strained. “If that’s okay. I already almost came in my pants just from eating you out, I won’t last.”
You raised your eyebrows. “Not many men would admit to that.”
“Not many men would admit to getting off on making their partner feel good? You’re right.”
You watched as he picked his pants up off the floor and pulled a condom out of one of the pockets.
“Oh now you have a condom?” you teased.
“Look, I usually have them on me, I just didn’t that night,” he exclaimed in defense, the thin foil packet between his teeth. He ripped it open and pulled the rubber out, only pausing when you spoke again.
“You don’t keep them in your wallet, do you?”
“I do, but I change them out pretty often. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine.”
With that settled, he slipped out of his underwear and rolled the condom on with ease. He joined you on the bed a moment later. You laid back and waited for Minho to position himself.
“Wait-” you whispered suddenly, having been so in the moment that you had almost forgotten. “Are you clean?”
Minho let out a sigh of relief, probably having thought something was wrong. “Yeah, I got tested like two months ago.”
“But the other night with that girl-”
“I didn’t sleep with her.”
“Oh. Why?”
“I mean, I fully intended to, if I’m being honest. But I just… couldn’t.”
“Couldn’t get it up?”
“Something like that,” he sighed. “I probably should’ve asked this before going down on you, but you’re clean too, right?”
You nodded. “I get tested all the time and I haven’t had sex in a while.”
“That makes two of us.”
You looked at him expectantly. “You may… continue.”
“I’m surprised that didn’t immediately make my dick soft.”
“Oh, give me a break. My brain is still fuzzy from cumming.”
He snorted. “You’re welcome.”
“I can’t believe that didn’t immediately make me dry up.”
“I’m allowed to be cocky!” he protested. “I made you cum in, what, a minute flat?”
“It took longer than a minute!”
“I don’t know about that. I think we should check the replay.”
“You’re such a dork.”
Minho rolled his eyes. “And that must really turn you on. ‘Cause last time I checked you were dripping onto the sheets.”
“I-” you had nothing. You squeezed your thighs around Minho’s waist, trying to coax him inside of you. “Just stick it in already!”
“Since you asked so nicely,” he repeated.
You held onto his arms as he pushed himself in, sighing in relief at the fullness. He wasn’t the biggest you’d ever had, but he was still sizable. You had to take a second to adjust to the stretch before he could start to move. He fit perfectly, at least that’s what it felt like. You were positive he could tell how much you liked his cock from the way you unconsciously clenched around him, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to care. If his ego inflated to the size of the moon after this, fuck it.
“Fuck, st-stop doing that,” Minho stuttered, pressing one of his hands against your hip to try and keep you still.
“I’m not doing anything!”
“You’re, God, you’re squeezing me so tight,” he hissed. “If you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum.”
“Oh sorry, I didn’t even realize.”
You took a deep breath and willed your body to relax. It had been so long since you’d been properly fucked and you didn’t want it to be over before it even started.
“Are you good to keep going?” Minho asked once he’d regained some semblance of composure.
“Yeah,” you breathed out. “Yeah, fuck please move.”
He leaned down to kiss you as he began to rock his hips into yours and you met him halfway. You could still taste yourself on his tongue, on his lips. He groaned into your mouth and nipped at your bottom lip when you pulled away.
“You feel so fucking good, baby,” he confessed, voice raspy.
Baby was new. And it made you whimper in response.
“So goddamn tight. It’s like your pussy was made for me.”
Did he say this to every girl he fucked? Because it sounded like a line, but it was working like a charm on you.
As if he realized he was rambling, he busied his mouth in other ways. He kissed your neck, careful not to leave marks, before moving down to the valley of your breasts where he continued his work. The way he lowered himself onto you pushed his cock in even deeper, something you didn’t think was possible.
His lips were warm. They were so warm. Each kiss felt like you were touching the sun. You could feel the heat against your skin even as he moved away, pressing kisses elsewhere.
“What’s got you smiling like that?” Minho asked.
You hadn’t even realized that you had been smiling, or that he had stopped kissing you. He was going faster now too. You hadn’t noticed that either. You were far too gone, clearly.
“Feels good,” was as much as you could manage, but that seemed to satisfy Minho.
“Yeah? Have I fucked you dumb already?” he cooed condescendingly.
You nodded. “Feels sooo good. Feel so full.”
You’d be embarrassed by your barely-comprehensible sentences, but you didn’t have the capacity to feel anything other than pleasure in that moment. You doubted you’d even remember what you said in the morning.
“You close again, baby?”
“Uh huh.”
“Fuck, me too. I’ll get you there, though. I’ll make you feel even better.”
He brought one of his hands down to your clit and used his thumb to rub somewhat uncoordinated circles on it. He was gentler than he had been before, like he knew you were still sensitive from cumming the first time. The added stimulation brought you back to the edge in record time and all you could do to alert Minho of what was happening was frantically grab his bicep and squeeze it repeatedly.
“Gonna cum? Go ahead, baby.”
Your entire body tensed as your second orgasm of the night washed over you. Minho fucked you through it again, announcing that he was cumming right as you started to come down. Watching his face scrunch up in pleasure as he came was almost enough to send you into a third orgasm. His eyes shut and his mouth fell open into an O shape as his hips faltered. He didn’t stop thrusting until he was certain he’d given you every last drop of his cum, choking out a string of curses followed by your name through gritted teeth.
He collapsed on top of you seconds later, completely spent and still inside of you.
“Fuck, that was good,” he panted. You nodded in agreement, wincing when you felt him pull out. “You okay?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think I can walk. My legs feel like jelly.”
“Would another orgasm help?”
“No,” you groaned. “I can’t take another one.”
“I was kidding. C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up and back to your room.”
“Nooo, I’m tired,” you whined.
“I know, I know,” he said softly, “but you can’t sleep here. Unless you want Jisung to find out?”
“Fine,” you mumbled. Your eyes were closed, but you could hear him moving around the hotel room. “Just give me like five minutes to nap.”
“You know I can’t do that.” When you opened your eyes he was wearing pants again and standing beside the bed waiting for you. “You need to shower. And pee. A UTI in the middle of vacation would really suck.”
“I’ve had worse.”
“You’re impossible.”
“You knew that before sleeping with me.”
“Yeah, and I still did it anyway. Now, get up.”
“You’re so bossy,” you muttered under your breath, repeating the sentiment you had already voiced. Minho just chuckled and helped you to your feet.
“You seemed to like that earlier.”
“Yeah, when you were making me cum.”
“Well, I won’t be able to make you cum anymore if you contract an infection. So I have to be bossy or else you won’t listen.”
“Or else you won’t listen,” you mocked.
Minho grinned despite himself and shook his head at you. “We should’ve started doing this way sooner.”
hope y'all liked this one :) lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!
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Redamancy: Chapter Twenty-Seven
Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?
Warnings: Oh god the FLUFF
Notes: I did this one a little different, I tried sort of a true dual POV and it’s got me fucked up y’all-goddamn. Don’t ask me where the fuck this came from because I have no thoughts, head fucking empty. I just - I can’t, just read it.
Word Count: 1287
Series Masterlist
• March 28th, 2006 • Forks HS •
Reader
I give up.
Striding from my locker, I interrupt Jasper and his conversation with Alice, pushing him towards the familiar small alcove below the stairs.
I breathe heavily, working up the nerve to ask him what’s been on my mind for an ungodly amount of time. Fuck me, I just miss him so damn much.
“Can I kiss you?” I’m weak, weak for needing him so badly after such a short amount of time, I can’t even look anywhere else than the middle of his chest as I make my request.
He surges forward after a heavy beat of silence once I finish my question, he cages me against the wall, “Be mine.”
His words snatch the oxygen from my body, I glance up to his eyes, “What?”
“Come over this weekend,” his gaze is intense - staring into my very soul, “Let me apologize for the last six months. Give me a shot, darlin’.”
“Okay-” I don’t even finish my answer before he moves to grant my wish.
Oh god.
His lips lay themselves upon mine and I swear time stops. It’s a cliche, but everything else in my life no longer exists aside from his lips on mine. Cold and firm, but gentle and steady. A perfect match, non-dominating or in a hurry, but taking his time. As if he were memorizing the pressure, the taste, the way my own lips moved against his.
As if he were coaxing my soul out into the open, to bask in the warm sun that is his love.
Our mouths slotted perfectly together, familiar, the way my body clicked with his. My arms wind themselves around his neck and he kisses me deeper, more - I need more. Two magnets drawn together, two pieces of torn cloth restitched to be whole again, two halves meant to find their place in each other. I move, tilting my head and he responds in kind, an equal in every way despite our differing mortality.
I almost didn’t get this. This-this summation of feelings and butterflies an-and everything between us that’s built up. The lead weight in my stomach from this realization threatens to yank me from the cloud nine his kiss firmly perched me on.
Tears, fat and heavy roll down my cheeks as I grip his shirt desperately and he pulls away just far enough to inspect my face.
“Why are you crying, sweet girl?”
“I never… I never thought I’d get the chance…” My eyes remain closed, unable to meet his gaze.
“To what?” I can hear the crinkle in his brow just from his voice.
“To kiss you again.”
I hear his sharp intake of breath and I know my words cut deep.
I open my eyes, “You left me and it’s all I’ve ever thought about. I-I-”
“Darlin’,” his turn for his eyes to flutter closed, “I’ve regretted every day since that night. I regret my lapse in control, I regret not having a better grip on myself, to handle these urges.”
“Can you?” My lips ghost over his as I whisper my question, the addiction having taken root. “Can you handle it now?”
A shuddering breath exits his mouth and his eyes snap open, a rare display of my effect on the vampire. “No.”
The answer zaps through me, but he stops me before I could pull away. “No? Jasper-“
“You-I-“ a growl pushes to the surface, giving away his flustered state. “I can’t fucking think for god’s sake.”
Jasper
Fuck me, her mouth is pure sin.
I could lose myself in those lips and never care about resurfacing ever again. Everything she does, from how she tilts her chin to welcome me further, to how her body yields to mine and forms against me, it’s heaven. The burning in my throat is secondary to the pure bliss her kiss envelopes me with.
Not to mention her fucking emotions.
Need, happiness, hunger, relief, contentment. They just keep coming, one after the other and I swear it inflates my chest with a happiness of my own, like a thousand butterflies trapped inside the cage of my ribs.
Love.
It feels like two ribbons entwining, dancing in sync, twisting in ways that create a beautiful tangled mess not soon to be unwound.
Love?
This one is different, I’ve felt love before - it’s shines from Esme’s face on a daily basis, it seeps from the smile lines around Carlisle’s mouth, and it passes through me with every one of Emmett’s hugs. But this? This love? This love is flowing straight from her heart into mine, breathing life into something long cold and dead. This love is meant only for me, only to be shared between mates, this kind of love is meant to be secreted away and only examined in moments of vulnerability between two like souls.
I love her and she loves me.
The thought rocks me to my core and I cup the back of her head as she leans back a little, allowing me to deepen the kiss.
A wetness begins to trickle down her cheeks and it startles me from the trance of her delicious mouth, tears?
I pull back far enough to catch the tear tracks from her tightly closed lids, “Why are you crying, sweet girl?”
“I never… I never thought I’d get the chance…” She trails off, still hiding those gorgeous eyes from me.
“To what?” I furrow my brow, not quite following.
“To kiss you again.”
I inhale quickly to try and soften the blow her words deal straight to my chest. She’s yearned for this moment for months, just like I have.
She finally opens her eyes, “You left me and it’s all I’ve ever thought about. I-I-”
“Darlin’,” it’s my turn for my eyes to flutter closed, “I’ve regretted every day since that night. I regret my lapse in control, I regret not having a better grip on myself, to handle these urges.”
“Can you?” Her lips ghost over my own as she whispers her question, stealing the very thoughts from my brain. “Can you handle it now?”
I exhale a shuddering breath before my eyes snap open, “No.”
“No? Jasper-“
“You-I-“ a growl erupts before I could stop it, frustration at my own thoughts bubbling up. “I can’t fucking think for god’s sake.”
Will this girl ever learn that she controls me? That I bend to her? She has me wrapped securely around her delicate little pinky and she has no idea.
“I need to hunt before this weekend, but I will pick you up Saturday morning at your house.” I promise her, my nose gently rubbing against hers in a soothing motion.
“Okay.” Her breathless reply damn-near brings me to my knees.
“Darlin’?” I question her, slightly amused.
“Hmm?” Her eyes are closed, her emotions are just emanating absolute bliss.
“We still have half a school day to get through.” I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince, her or myself.
“I’m not sure you can convince me to go.” Fuck.
“Darlin’, you gotta help me out here.” I scratch the base of her skull lightly to get her attention and it was definitely the wrong thing to do, her grip tightens on my shirt and her bliss burns a little heavier, almost suffocating me.
“Now why would I do that when I could just kiss you again?” Her eyes crack open, but I’m already in motion.
How could I argue with logic like that? My lips are on hers again before that beautiful pink mouth could part even a fraction.
Love, oh I could get used to this.
Next
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#jasper hale x reader#jasper hale fanfiction#redamancy series#jasper hale x female!reader#twilight fanfiction#jasper whitlock hale#bless-my-demons#twilight#jasper hale#female reader insert
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The Fall from the Heavens (30)
[ canon • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]
[ warnings: mention of death in childbirth, angst, swearing ]
[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]
The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.
Characters & Series Moodboard
Lady Strong Moodboard
Aemond & Lady Strong Moodboard
Aemond & Lady Strong Childhood
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
Next chapters: Masterlist
_____
He believed he heard her screams and moans from afar. When he turned, he was standing in one of the chambers of Dragonstone, his uncle and his nephews sitting beside him around the table, tense.
All the women were with her now.
"How much longer is this going to take?" He asked impatiently, feeling discomfort and a twinge in his stomach at the thought that his niece had suffered in agony for so many hours, trying to bring his offspring into the world.
It was because of him, he thought with pain.
"It's hard to say. Laena's first birth was also difficult. She bore Baela only in the evening of the same day." Daemon said lowly, fiddling with the wine goblet standing on the table in front of him, of which he took a long, loud sip after a moment.
He pretended not to care.
He was trying to suppress his mind with alcohol.
He swallowed hard, glancing down at his fingers, noticing with horror that blood was oozing from the cuticles around his fingernails.
He rose immediately from his seat, horrified when one of the servants stepped into the chamber.
"− Y-Your Grace − you have a son − but your lady-wife −" She mumbled out with difficulty − only after a moment he saw that her trembling hands were all sticky with blood.
Her blood.
He rushed out of the chamber as if in a trance, not hearing his uncle's call, and walked swiftly into the room from which only a moment ago he had heard her howling, her screams, her cries.
Now someone was crying too, but not her − her mother was clutching her face to her body, high-pitched wails and moans coming from her throat as if someone was skinning her.
He didn't even pay attention to the infant, quivering and sobbing loudly in the arms of one of the servants − all he looked at was her face, the face of his wife, drenched in sweat and pale, her lips slightly parted, her gaze blank and distant, her body numb, lifeless.
"− Rheanys −" He muttered, coming up to her quickly, hearing only his own ragged breathing, only the loud pounding of his heart in his chest. He climbed onto the bed, his hand touching her cheek.
It was still warm.
"− Rhaenys, look at me − it's all over now, my sweetest −" He breathed out, not listening to Rhaenyra's moans or cries, recognising that she was merely being dramatic, that his niece was simply exhausted and tired.
Her eyes stared somewhere far ahead of her, the traces of tears still clearly visible on her skin.
Was she calling out for him?
Did she beg him to come, terrified?
Why hadn't he heard anything?
"− Rheanys − look at me −" He mumbled out, feeling like he was choking.
He sobbed in despair, cuddling his face into her soft, fragrant hair, hugging her close as if she were still a child.
She seemed so small to him, so weak.
"− gods, please, not her −"
"− Rheanys −" He exhaled, pulling himself up to sit down, feeling his heart pounding like mad. He looked around, terrified, seeing only darkness, struggling to recognise the furniture and objects around him.
He was in his chamber, in King's Landing.
Alone.
Where was she?
Was all this, their marriage, her warm body snuggled into his, just a dream?
He groaned with despair at the thought, running his hand over his face − he closed his eye and breathed heavily, trying to calm himself, his whole body quivering, his heart pounding like mad.
He hissed, clutching at his eye where the sapphire had been placed, feeling the sudden, sharp pain in his skull that had accompanied him in his moments of greatest fear and horror.
He had never shared it with anyone.
He knew it meant he was weak.
That he cared too much, that he could no longer control neither his feelings for her nor the things that came with them.
He only calmed down after a while, reminding himself that he had sent her a letter, that he had returned to the Red Keep only a few days ago, and that every night he had spent since then had been the same.
He couldn't get any peace since she wasn't by his side.
Since he had spoken of what had happened with his brother.
"− how could you fly to Dragonstone without my knowledge or consent? −" Aegon growled, both of them sitting alone in his chamber.
His brother-king demanded his explanation as soon as he found out that he had returned to the Red Keep.
"− I had no choice − our grandfather wanted to end things in a different way than we had assumed − I had to get them out of there −" He said lowly, hoping for his support in what he intended to do with Larys Strong.
Aegon did not even look at him at his words, his gaze fixed on the dagger he was playing with in his hand.
"− Aegon −" He said impatiently, and his brother lifted his calm gaze to him from which he felt a tightening in his throat, his heart stopped for a moment.
"− you knew −"
Aegon shrugged his shoulders.
"− what would be left if they did not agree? −" He asked more to himself than to him, running his fingers along the steel blade. He ran his hand over his face and closed his eye for a moment, trying to calm himself.
Fuck.
"− her life would be taken by your order too? −" He hissed angrily − his older brother threw him a quick, warning glance.
"− no − I forbade anyone to touch her − she is yours −" He replied in a firm voice not withstanding the objection.
"− I did what I thought was right to protect my children − they agreed to our terms, so let's rejoice and not stir up pointless arguments −" He said impatiently, his jaw clenched in anger at his words.
"− our grandfather told you that they would have died that night anyway? −"
Aegon furrowed his brow and raised his surprised, uncertain gaze at him, as if wondering if he should believe him. He shifted uneasily in his seat and grunted.
"− where do you get this knowledge from? −"
"− Larys Strong − I want his head −"
"− he is our informer −"
"− he has threatened me and my wife − he has let me know that everything is arranged to end the war, no matter what the price − do what you want with our grandfather, but he is to die − this is my price for concealing the truth from me −" He growled, rising from his seat, circling the chamber as if in amok, feeling that his head was filled with chaos.
Was this how she had felt when he had betrayed her?
When he had concealed it all from her?
"− we need to think this through properly − find a reason to bring him to King's Landing −" He muttered, looking down at his fingers, apparently recognising that he could sacrifice one man to appease his wrath and not lose the greatest of dragons in this war.
"− no − 'tis I who will fly to Harrenhal − the sooner the better −" He said impatiently, folding his hands behind him.
"− there is no need for you to get involved − I will give the order −"
"− I want to do it with my own hands −"
Aegon looked at him for a moment in thought.
"− have you been so madly in love with her all this time? −"
He stopped, looking at him over his shoulder, shocked, feeling a wave of shame surge through his body.
He didn't know what he should answer.
Aegon snorted under his breath, shaking his head.
"− you've always been a poor liar − whenever someone uttered her name you got up from the table and left, as if you did't spend your evenings fucking yourself with your hand thinking of her −" He sneered, crossing his legs, spreading himself comfortably in his chair.
"− am I wrong, little brother? −" He asked softly, cocking his head in curiosity.
He sighed heavily when he was answered by his silence.
"− what did Daemon say? −"
He grunted in relief that he had changed the subject, his heart pounding like mad.
"− he is vigilant − he does not believe me or you − but he will not oppose Rhaenyra − and she loves her daughter −"
Aegon hummed under his breath and nodded thoughtfully.
"− there is nothing more dangerous than the love of a parent for his child −"
Aegon ordered him to stay in King's Landing for a few days to avoid arousing anyone's suspicions before he set off again for Harrenhal, and he agreed to this not willingly. Later that day his mother visited him in his chamber, throwing herself into his arms.
"− I thought I would never see you again −" She muttered, her familiar, pleasant scent of floral oils filling his nostrils.
"− mother −" He replied, placing a hand on her back. Alicent pulled away from him, looking at him with excitement and fear.
"− is it true? − Rheanyra agreed? −" She asked, and he nodded. A loud sigh of relief left her lips, her hand on her heart, a shy, girlish smile on her lips.
"− gods − maybe all is not lost yet −"
He had no peace night or day, thinking only of her and what would happen if she did not bear him a child as well as what might happen if she had to carry his heir under her heart.
The stories that he had heard about his father's first wife, and her grandmother, rattled around in his head, the sight of the white-haired woman with a slit lower abdomen haunting him and not letting him sleep a wink.
He was terrified.
However, he knew that before he set off for Harrenhal he had to face the person he feared most.
His grandfather.
He had managed to persuade Aegon to control him, but he feared that once he was out of the Red Keep, his grandfather would continue his plan behind their backs.
He could not allow that to happen.
He visited him on the morning before his journey to Harrenhal. Already dressed in his riding attire, he stood before him − his grandfather cast him a lazy, surprised look from above the book he had just been looking through.
"− Aemond − what brings my grandson here? − how was your visit to Dragonstone? −" He asked softly, as he always did when he was playing with another person, pretending that there was no subtext in his words.
He hated him for doing it, forever mocking him and Aegon.
He only showed concern for Helaena, because he couldn't use her any more than he already did.
"− I've been thinking a lot lately, grandfather − about my mother −" He began lowly, standing upright before him with his hands folded behind his back, knowing exactly what he wanted to say to him.
Otto raised his eyebrows, intrigued, spreading himself comfortably in his chair, crossing his legs.
"− indeed? −" He asked teasingly, as if he were speaking to a small, unaware child.
He decided not to react.
"− marriage has opened my eyes to many things that did not previously occupy my head − a husband's duties to his wife and what they mean were as distant to me as Essos until I experienced them myself −" He hummed, turning his head away, looking into the distance, at the sea reaching the horizon stretching beyond the great bay.
"− I cannot imagine a woman more helpless and vulnerable than when she lies beneath her husband, at his mercy − my wife then looks at me with trust and warmth, her body welcomes me with ease − but tell me, grandfather − how old was my mother when you ordered her to seduce my father? −" He asked coolly, looking at him − his grandfather furrowed his brow, his lips pressed into a thin line.
"− she was of an age suitable for marriage −" He replied indifferently. "− are you now going to lecture me on the raising of my children? − my decisions concerning her future? − she became a Queen −"
He snorted at his words, his lips parted in a mocking smile, revealing his teeth.
"− did you ever imagine it? − my old father with big, rotting wounds, lying on top of your daughter, and my mother? − I imagined that such a man would try to take my wife − I would kill him, even if he were her rightful husband −" He hissed, and Otto laughed, as if he had never heard a greater foolishness.
"− indeed? − do you think you understand how it is? − as far as I know, you and your beloved wife have not yet conceived your offspring − who knows if you will ever succeed − the will of the gods is impenetrable −" He said with a sneer, from which he felt his blood begin to boil in his veins, his hands involuntarily clenched into fists.
"− what did it feel like to sit on the Iron Throne while my father babbled stupefied by poppy milk? − was it in those moments that you felt it was worth it? − what did you truly sacrifice? −" He asked, answering him with a mocking sneer. His grandfather rose from his seat, furious, clearly trying to control himself.
"− everything −"
He laughed at his words, shaking his head.
"− no, grandfather − WE have sacrificed everything for you − my mother, my brother-king, Helaena and me − but if you think I will sacrifice my wife for you, you are sorely mistaken − one more misstep like this, one more move behind my back and you will go back to where you came from −"
"− how dare you threaten me − you owe me everything −"
"− no − YOU owe us everything − without us you are nothing, my Hand of the King −" He hissed, turning away tense, leaving his chamber with a slam of the door.
What could he do to him?
Kill him?
Deprive his brother of his dragon rider?
He prayed his words would cause him to refrain from further action, but he feared his grandfather would do something they would all regret in fear of losing power.
Even if a part of him truly protected his family, the other part always wanted the crown.
Always.
He had destroyed his mother by giving her to an old, dying man who called her by his dead wife's name, humiliating her over and over again.
He watched her endure her fate for years with humility, believing that the gods would one day reward her for her patience and sacrifice, for her devotion and care, the heavens, however, never answered her prayers.
As she locked all her desires deep within her heart, Aegon let them out completely, allowing them to cloud his vision for years.
He could not decide if what their grandfather had condemned them all to was dictated by care, or merely his unquenchable thirst for power.
He saw hope, however, in the fact that where Daemon and Otto refused to step down, Rhaenyra and Aegon were showing signs of common sense. Although there was much doubt in him, he believed that there was a way forward that did not lead to the complete destruction of their lineage.
He set off for Harrenhal at the head of a small troop of soldiers whose mission was to capture Larys' spies in Harrenhal and the Eyrie.
He wished to deal with Lord Strong personally.
To his surprise and frustration, he found the fortress deserted and surrendered − Lord Strong had fled, hiding somewhere, taking several servants and all the gold with him.
He felt like a fool standing in the empty stronghold looking at the terrified figures of the lord's distant relatives, his servants, farmers and landlords, evidently fearing to face his wrath.
Something else, however, caught his attention.
"Where is Alys Rivers?"
"In the dungeons, Your Grace." Declared one of the men, without raising his eyes at him.
"Take me to her."
He walked down into the underground of the fortress, accompanied by his guards, the clang of their steel armour and weapons all around them. They pointed their torches at one of the cells, and only after a moment did he recognise in the woman lying on the stone ground the person who had kept him awake for so many nights.
That fucking prophecy of hers.
"Wake up, woman." He commanded coldly, stepping closer to the steel bars. Indeed, he saw in the darkness the green of her eyes when she suddenly lifted her eyelids, her face and hands all bruised.
He had the impression that she had lost weight − she was pale, her eyes all red, her hands were trembling. She rose slowly, looking at him curiously, and grinned in a way that sent a shiver through him.
"Leave us alone." He said to his guards, and they nodded and obediently went back upstairs.
He only spoke to her when he was sure they could not hear him.
"Why did you lie? I could have your head for this." He hissed, his hands clenched into fists, his heart pounding like mad.
He needed to hear it from her.
The woman laughed weakly at his words, shaking her head with amusement.
"If there were no capacity for treachery in you, my words would not frighten you, Your Grace. But it wouldn't be the first time you've stabbed her in the back, would it?" She sneered, making his jaw clench tightly in rage.
Will you stab a dagger into my heart?
He was embarrassed and bitter that he didn't know what to answer.
She played him like a little child, making a fool of him.
"Why?" He growled feeling that he was red with embarrassment.
Alys Rivers shrugged her shoulders.
"My brother reckoned that after what was going to happen in the Eyrie she would try to take her own life again. I don't consider myself a good person, but I'm not heartless. I wanted you to be horrified by my words and get her as far away from here as possible."
"How dare you manipulate me and my wife."
"I didn't manipulate her. There was no need for that. You. Your pride wouldn't allow you to listen to the advice of a bastard woman, on top of the Strong line. A witch's prophecy that could give birth to your bastard child would be a different matter. Wouldn't it?" She asked, cocking her head curiously, her luscious green eyes shining uneasily in the darkness making him feel a cold sweat run down his neck.
He had never been so ashamed before, his stomach and throat squeezed so tightly that he had trouble breathing.
"Whose fucking side are you on, you insolent whore?" He hissed through clenched teeth, filled with humiliation and hatred, thinking that he would most like to tear her apart.
Her grin full of amusement made him breathless with rage.
"I am on my side. But my cold heart supports your wife. She has broken deep into it and refuses to leave it. I'm certain you understand me. Such a sweet girl."
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" He shouted low, his voice echoing powerfully around them.
Only after a moment did he realise he was panting heavily, his heart pounding like mad.
How could he possibly feel jealousy now?
He turned on his heel, recognising that she could have died of hunger and thirst in there, that he didn't care that Larys had probably locked her in there because she had warned his wife.
He couldn't bear that she, a stranger, had done something for her that he couldn't.
She had sacrificed herself for her.
That night he did not sleep a wink; he waited to hear from his wife and from his commanders whether they had found Lord Strong yet.
It seemed to him that every time he tried to do something right, everything fell apart in his hands.
He didn't know why, but it made him want to cry at the thought.
It was only in the morning that he was relieved − one of the servants brought him a message from Dragonstone, which he opened as soon as he was alone in his chamber.
I am alive, my husband, and I am in good health. Do not fret, I know I am safe here. I ask you, whatever you intend to do, not to take the life of Alys Rivers. I am owed a debt to her and her death is not my desire. Return to Dragonstone as soon as you can.
Rhaenys
He breathed a sigh of relief as he read her words again and again, feeling that warmth was beaming from them, that her anger at him had already fled slowly. He ran his finger over the letters her hand had written thinking about her, about how much he needed her now, how lonely he felt.
Whether he wanted to or not, not wanting to cause another argument between them, he ordered that Alys Rivers be locked in her chamber and that food be served to her.
He did not want to see her, but wished to respect his wife's wishes.
He wrote back to her message right away, wishing it to reach Dragonstone as soon as possible.
I reached Harrenhal however, unfortunately, I found the fortress empty. Lord Strong escaped with several spies − we are still searching for them. In accordance with your will, I have spared Alys Rivers' life and locked her in her chamber. I cannot predict when I will be able to return to Dragonstone.
I ask your forgiveness for not fulfilling my duty as your husband and not being by your side.
Aemond
He ordered his letter to be sent immediately and waited, spending days pondering and discussing with his soldiers, searching the forests and strongholds of nearby lords, trying to find the man who in his eyes was a lousy rat.
He suspected his grandfather had managed to warn him, and felt furious that they had played him like a child.
Never before in his life had he wanted to kill another human being so badly.
Not even Luke.
However, one morning he was awakened by something that sent him into a state of terror − he pulled himself up on his bed when he heard the roar of dragons in the distance, the sweeping flap of their wings as they flew over the fortress like a great shadow.
He rose quickly, walking over to the window and laughed under his breath, involuntarily smiling with wonderful, overpowering relief as he saw the slender beast with silver-blue scales shimmering in the sunlight land next to the fortress.
As soon as he saw that the figure of the dragon rider had slipped off its back he turned, put his boots on his feet and walked out of his chamber disregarding his inadequate attire, linen shirt and breeches, running quickly down the stairs to meet her.
His wife.
#aemond fic#aemond fanfiction#aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#aemond angst#aemond targaryen angst#aemond the kinslayer#prince aemond targaryen#prince aemond#aemond one eye#aemond smut#aemond targaryen smut#aemond x female#aemond x female character#aemond x oc#aemond x original character#aemond x original female character#aemond targaryen x oc#hotd fanfic#hotd fanfiction#hotd fic#aemond fanfic#hotd smut#hotd angst#ewan mitchell smut#ewan mitchell angst#ewan mitchell fanfiction#ewan mitchell fanfic#ewan mitchell fic
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Misty Eyes ~ Part 3
THIS FIC CONTAINS DARK CONTENT. 18+ ONLY. MDNI.
*This part contains two Doffy flashbacks with a graphic depiction of violence including blood, murder of an unnamed character, and the reader being sick, as well as implied sexual encounters. Doffy flashback sections are marked between these symbols ~🦩🦩🦩~ so you can skip past them if you'd like. The chapter begins with one of these graphic memories, but ends with some Hurt/Comfort & sweet fluff!
Pairings: Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader, Doflamingo x Fem!Reader (Past & Flashbacks)
Word Count: 5768
Misty Eyes Masterlist
Ao3 Link
Summary: You try to acclimate to life aboard this yellow submarine, but your past keeps tearing you apart. All that Doffy made you do feels like a stain on your soul, and you're afraid you'll never be clean.
Author's Note: This one gets really fucked up, but I hope the sweet ending makes up for it! 🖤 I have added the dead dove do not eat tag, so please heed the warnings, and do not read if they might be triggering for you.
Thank you so much @pinejayyfor this delicious request!!
Rating/Warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Devil Fruit User Reader, Swearing, Eventual Smut, Angst, Pet Names, Degradation, Punishment, Emotional Abuse, DARK CONTENT, DUBCON, Grooming, Trauma, Past Sexual Abuse, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Dubious Consent, Donquixote Doflamingo is His Own Warning, Bondage, Dissociation, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Kissing, Shame, Blood and Violence, Vomiting, Minor Character Death, (unnamed character), Sparring, Childhood Memories, Chaste Childhood Kiss, Teasing, Tickling, Yandere Donquixote Doflamingo, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags To Be Added
!!! SPOILERS !!! This story begins during the 2 year timeskip before the Punk Hazard Arc, and there will also be spoilers for the Dressrosa Arc for backstory lore
| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
~🦩🦩🦩~
“Another simple mission too much for you, Y/N?”
Doffy ducked a bit as he sauntered into the room, his voice making your enemy freeze with her sea prism stone blade to your throat.
“Young mast–”
Your target smirked at you, pressing the tip of the blade into your flesh, just enough to cut your words.
“Are you good and scared,” she taunted, ignoring the powerful man at her back.
Is she fucking stupid? She has to know who he is.
Doffy grinned as he moved closer, until you saw yourself reflected in his sunglasses over your enemy’s head. Neither of the menacing figures before you moved or spoke for a moment, leaving your mind in chaos.
I failed him again. He’s not helping me. Why would he? I’m worthless.
The woman chuckled, showing no fear as the future king of the pirates towered over her. Until his large hand fisted her hair, lifting her until her toes barely touched the ground. A shocked cry left her lips, her satisfied smirk torn away as she struggled to free herself.
“You really can’t do anything on your own, can you?”
Humiliation poured over you, making you wish that the blade had cut you deeper. The prick of blood on your throat wasn’t nearly enough to drown your shame.
The woman laughed, even as she struggled in Doffy’s grasp. She choked on that laughter as the blade in her hand flew toward her own neck, tugged by invisible strings.
“Wait, you said–”
Those frantic eyes had tried to look toward the young master, but her words ended as a flood of red left her throat. Doffy laughed, watching your wide eyes while the woman thrashed. The blade clattered to the floor as a rain of bright, hot blood fell upon it. He took a step toward you, letting all that cherry red cascade down your chest as you stared into the woman’s dying eyes.
She reached for you, dragging her nails across your throat.
“You’re really gonna let this trash disrespect our family? Disrespect me,” Doffy questioned, as bile rose in your throat.
“N-No, I’m sorry young–”
“Finish it. Pick up the knife, and gut her.”
The woman was still struggling, still fighting, but you knew it wouldn’t be long.
I have to prove myself.
You couldn’t move.
“Do it, Y/N,” Doffy threatened, his voice low as he shoved her closer. That hot blood poured over your face as he lifted her higher.
You fell to your knees, somehow finding the blade through the red that had covered your eyes, spitting it out of your mouth as you used the wall to stand back up.
“There you go. Prove you can do something right, Y/N.”
Blinking through the blood, you held the blade to the woman’s stomach, throwing up before you could pierce her flesh.
Doffy dropped that lightly twitching body as you started to retch, stepping back to watch you cover your enemy in your own pathetic disgrace.
Choking on sobs as your stomach emptied over the nearly dead form, you tried to wipe and hide your face. There was no way to hide from Doffy, his manic grin looming near as he crouched beside you.
“Such a pathetic sight. To think that a member of my family could fail me like this,” he tutted, ripping your heart to shreds.
“I’m so sorry, young master, I–”
Your fingers slipped in the blood and sick on the floor as you tried to push yourself up, until your body moved on its own.
No. Not on its own.
Doffy moved it, his fingers extending as he controlled you. A disgusting marionette, dripping with the evidence of shame.
“So disappointing.”
The young master’s voice weighed you down, even as he held your body up. He directed your movements, forcing you to walk as though you were proud of the sticky failure on your skin.
I’m nothing. I don’t deserve to live. I don’t deserve his love.
~🦩🦩🦩~
“Y/N, hey, you’re okay–”
“I couldn’t do it, I’m too weak. I’m so sorry, young–”
Nausea tore through you, the fight to keep from being sick bringing you into the present. Into the mist. Law’s soothing voice was too full of concern, and you hated taking down your camouflage. Hated letting him see how weak you were.
“Y/N, can I check your–”
Law’s fingers were on you as soon as you nodded, slipping along the cold sweat that coated your skin as he checked your temperature and pulse.
“I’m fine,” you lied, your voice hoarse as if you had been sick.
His hands guided your trembling body as you sat up, your eyes caught on your own misty fingers.
Pathetic.
“Do you… wanna talk about it?”
A sharp laugh escaped you, flooding you with guilt. An apology died in your throat as you rubbed your hands over your arms, sliding through that layer of sweat.
“Can I take a shower?”
~
The “Surgeon of Death” waited outside the bathroom for you. You thought he was trying to help you feel safe by not letting anyone else in, until you remembered the concern, the pity on his face.
He’s making sure I don’t hurt myself.
You couldn’t meet his eyes as he tried to speak to you on the way to the galley, but a tiny smile broke through your heavy shame from Law’s poor attempt at small talk.
“Good morning, Y/N!” Penguin’s voice was too loud as he leaned close to grab breakfast at the counter. The stuffed penguin on his hat bobbed toward you while he spoke.
“Morning,” you greeted, with far less enthusiasm, only to be met with a small orchestra of cheerful voices calling to you, and their captain.
“Hope you didn’t mind the captain on your floor last night. He used to snore like a–”
“Penguin,” Law commanded, voice low as he gripped his crew mate’s wrist.
The man's friendly clap on your back had made your shoulders tense up, your jaw clenching as Doffy’s voice boomed through your mind.
‘Only I’m allowed to touch my little doll,’ Doffy rasped, pinching your thighs almost too hard as you sat in his lap. You tried not to stare at the blood spreading across the marble floor. ‘I don’t like to share.’
“Sure, sorry captain, sorry Y/N…” Penguin took a step back, dipping his head at Law’s frown.
“It’s okay,” you breathed, your lying smile forming so easily on your face before he led you to a table in the corner, away from his happy crew.
I’m like mist, sucking the joy and beauty out of a sunny place.
“Why don’t we skip the interview today,” Law suggested, tapping his pretty fingers on the table.
“But, don’t you nee–”
“I need you to be okay,” he interrupted, reaching those fingers to touch your wrist gently, barely, before pulling away. “Besides, I have something else in mind.”
~
Moving through the metal halls felt like a dream, like you’d get lost, and keep walking for years before you woke up. Until he spun the wheel to open a heavy door, leading you into the largest room you’d seen on this underwater ship.
“How nostalgic,” you teased, nodding your head toward the wall of weapons in what was clearly a training room.
“It’s been a while since you kicked my ass,” he said with a laugh, and you chewed your lip to fight your cheesy smile. He moved down the wall, pulling two daggers free before facing you. “Catch.”
“Wait,” you cried out, ready to move or mist away, but your body acted on its own. You caught the blade he’d thrown your way, gripping it as you smiled to yourself.
“I see you haven’t lost your reflexes,” he hummed, facing off with you.
“What if I had,” you scolded, your free hand on your hip.
“I knew it couldn’t hurt you. But your enemies might not,” he mused. “Why didn’t you strike? I gave you an opening.”
“What are you–” you laughed, shaking your head at him. “I’m not a fighter anymore. Besides, I don’t want to be mauled by a bear when your crew finds out I tried to attack you.”
His scowl was so sharp, you almost missed his movement. The second blade flew toward you, spinning clear with the ringing of metal as you blocked it with the first dagger.
“What the fuck, Law?”
He ignored you as he pulled a sword from the wall, striding your way with death in his eyes. Your body slid into a stance it hadn’t felt in years, and you gritted your teeth. Barely escaping Law’s attack, you used the dagger to deflect his blade as you rolled away.
“Why are–”
His sword came down over your head, and you misted out of reach, your breath heavy as anger and fear started to build.
“Law! Why–”
“Why do you keep saying you’re weak?”
You froze, unable to move as he plunged his sword through your chest, meeting nothing but mist.
“What happened to the girl that could kick my ass? Until I’d get her back, of course,” he grinned, offering his hand to help you up. Still frozen, you watched him sigh, dropping the sword as he sat down beside you.
“Why do you keep saying that you’re weak,” he repeated softly, his gaze stripping you to the bone.
“Because I am weak.”
The words held nothing but truth, a truth you’d long since accepted.
“Don’t be stupid,” he reprimanded, the insult bringing your eyes to his with a bit of shock and annoyance.
“Is that my doctor’s orders,” you growled, anger showing through your mask for the first time in ages. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you dug your nails into your shins, the comfort of the mild pain helping you stay grounded.
“Yes,” he deadpanned, your lips parting as you glared. He didn’t drop that judgemental look on his face, and it was too fucking much.
You hid the need to squirm by standing, picking up the weapons to hang back on the wall. The weight of a useless life pushed your shoulders down, until a tattooed hand touched yours, taking one of the daggers from you while you stared at the floor.
“When we were kids, you were just as strong of a fighter as I was. I don’t understand how that could change, Y/N,” he recalled, voice soft as he touched your chin. His eyes searched yours, as if you were a puzzle he couldn’t solve.
“I know you’re fierce. Pretty sure I’ve still got a few scars from you,” he laughed, that gentle sound making your eyes drift closed, a bittersweet smile on your lips.
“I’m not fierce,” you confessed, shivering as your skin burned where his fingers still held your chin. “I couldn’t keep up. My powers are so... I kept failing, just like they said I would.”
“Don’t be an idiot.”
You almost gaped at him again, but his hand on your chin kept your jaw from dropping. Pulling away, you crossed your arms, that irritation growing.
“Your bedside manner is shit, you know that?”
“We’re not in bed right now,” he countered, his confident voice cut short by his own awkward cough as he continued. “You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t. I’m not a fighter anymore, Law. I can help you with my memories, you don’t need to do all of this.” He ignored your movements as you gestured to the wall of weapons, falling back into that frown he’s so good at.
“Get over it.”
“Excuse me?”
He thrust the handle of the dagger into your palm, leaning close.
“Everyone has to pull their weight on this ship. You’re gonna shadow the crew until we find a job that suits you. You’re gonna sit with me for interviews. And you’re gonna train, just like everyone else,” he commanded, your breath catching as you felt the authority pouring off of him. His fingers were still wrapped around yours, pressing the handle of the blade into your skin.
“Do you under–”
Law grunted with more surprise than pain as your other fist connected with his face. He took a step back, scalding eyes raking over you while he rubbed his jaw, but you cut him off before he could speak.
“Gotcha, with a capital ‘G,” you declared, moving your arms with the dagger to create a poor image of the letter ‘G.’
Everything else faded from your mind as Law started to laugh, holding himself up with his hands on his knees. You couldn’t help but join him, some good childhood memories finally filling the air between you.
“Does he still do that,” he asked, still breathless as he fought the laughter.
“Lau G won’t stop doing that until he’s dead and gone.”
He leaned against the wall of weapons, shaking his head as he pulled up ancient memories.
“That old man trained both of us, Y/N. You were neck and neck with me, even though I’d never admit it back then.”
Your face grew hot, hopefully masked by the wheezing laughter you were still recovering from. But shame quickly followed the pride from his praise, so you turned away to stretch, avoiding his discerning eyes.
“Let’s start with hand to hand,” he ordered softly. You let him take the blade from you, meeting him on the mats in the center of the large, echoey room. Bouncing on your heels, you fought to keep yourself in the present.
‘Can’t take care of a single mission. I’ve never had such a failure in my family before. What should I do with you?’
‘So misty, so flimsy! You’ll never be as strong as us. I bet the young master will throw you out soon.’
‘Why don’t you just focus on being pretty, dear. I heard the young master say that’s all you’re good for.’
“I won’t go easy on you," Law's threat broke through your foggy mind. He smirked, taunting you with a tilt to his head. “Kick my ass.”
Falling into a stance without a thought, you tried to be here, to be nothing but this. You couldn’t make the first move, getting annoyed as Law feinted, tapping you here or there until you finally fought back.
There he was. That silly, angry boy with that wicked smirk. The smirk that you needed to kick off that pretty face. Two years of rivalry, two years of tiny, vicious preteens sparring daily, came flooding back as the sounds filled the training room. The sounds of fists and shins connecting with bodies, breaths and grunts, snarky remarks and laughter.
It felt like no time had passed.
Until you noticed that thought, and shame hit you just before Law tackled you, taking your breath as he rode your body to the ground.
Coming back to yourself too late, he had you pinned, unable to work your arms or legs to get out of his grasp.
“I know you can do better than that,” he teased, his black hair caught in the sweat on his forehead as he stared down at you.
“Go fuck yourself,” you breathed, still winded with his weight on your body.
“With a capital ‘G,” he smirked, too much satisfaction on his face. He laughed as you squirmed harder, trying to free a hand to punch him with.
Now you were satisfied, hearing him grunt as he struggled to keep you in place. You freed one arm, but before you could make contact, Law changed position. He caught your wrist, his breathing ragged as his face hovered even closer to yours.
The air was different, shivers running through you as your bodies relaxed into each other. The struggle halted as you felt his breath on your lips.
His eyes were wide as he took you in, his brows creasing just a bit. Your chest warmed at the memory of a childhood crush, and a quick peck of a kiss before he disappeared. That sweet memory fell apart when he pulled himself off of you, a slight frown on his lips before he turned away.
Oh.
“That’s, uh,” he started, walking away as he avoided your gaze, “that’s enough for today. Let’s get cleaned up, and I’ll get your schedule for tomorrow. Good work, today.”
You held up a polite smile as sharp blades of ice seemed to carve into your empty chest. Wanting Law to kiss you seemed ridiculous. Selfish. You hadn’t realized that your stupid, absent heart was so delusional. And now you knew exactly why you shouldn’t think about him that way.
He’s disgusted by me. I’ll always be tainted. Ruined. I’m lucky he hasn’t put me out of my misery yet. Why would Law want to touch trash like me?
The thoughts crashed into you, and the moment wouldn’t stop replaying. The press of him, his amber eyes, the sweat and breath mixing between you.
And that frown as he pulled away.
It played on a loop as you walked through the submarine, repeating through another shower, a nearly silent lunch in the galley, and the tour. Law guided you with a hand drawn map, labeled with the various stations, and the crew members you’d be shadowing. A detailed weekly schedule filled the back of the paper, and you let out a quiet laugh at his attention to detail.
“Do you have any questions?”
“No, teacher,” you teased, breathing deep when he finally looked at you again.
“It’s captain,” he corrected as he pointed to the schedule. “You’ll be with Ikkaku tomorrow morning, then if you’re up for it, I'd like to do another interview.”
“Aye aye, captain.”
Just a twitch of his lips this time, but it was a relief. Until he left you in the galley with the crew, excusing himself to complete some “captain’s duties.”
He doesn’t even want to eat with me now. I probably make him sick.
“Hi, Y/N, you can sit with me! You know, if you want to…” Bepo trailed off, flipping from excited to glum in seconds.
“Thank you, Bepo,” you agreed, donning your cheerful voice as you sat across from him.
“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier,” Penguin said as he sat beside you, still too close for comfort after years of Doffy’s rules. “The captain’s the only one that taught us any manners, but I guess I still need some practice.”
“It’s al–”
“Give her some space, you’re being a creep,” Shachi cut in, sitting across from Penguin as he pointed a fork his way.
“I’m not a creep, you jerk–”
“The captain said to behave ourselves,” Bepo scolded, and you found a real smile on your lips as you saw the concern on his cute, furry face.
“Hey, you’re with me tomorrow, right?”
Ikkaku waved over the bear's shoulder, her dark brown curls making her instantly recognizable. You confirmed with a nod while the three boys at the table kept bickering.
“Let’s go talk about it.”
Arguments and insults floated through the air, and you were grateful for the rescue as you joined the only other non-man on the ship. She smirked as she nodded her head toward her crew mates.
“Don’t mind the dumbasses, they’re harmless.”
“Thanks,” you laughed, your appetite returning as you watched Ikkaku take a large bite, rolling her eyes at Bepo’s table.
Comfortable quiet sat with you, and you finally felt a moment of ease in your new world. Even with Law, you felt this energy of holding yourself up, of presenting yourself how you wanted him to see you. But this relaxed woman seemed friendly as she dug into her meal, without the pressure of a smile. She didn’t watch you, or force you into small talk, even when you followed her out of the galley to point out where you’d be working in the morning.
“I’m ‘Weps,’ so I’ll be showing you how to spot and kill enemies. Hopefully we’ll always be bored,” she huffed, pointing vaguely toward her station before guiding you back to the barracks.
“That’s you, right,” she asked, tapping on your door. “I’ll yell when it’s time to go.”
“Thank you,” you squeaked, staring for a moment as she turned away.
That small metal room seemed to amplify your worst thoughts, your loneliness echoing through the air like some torturous bell. You wished you had some sort of drug to knock yourself out. Instead, you curled on your side, trying not to think about how Law had cared enough to sleep on your floor last night, but could barely look at you after your near touch earlier.
~🦩🦩🦩~
“Don’t get all misty-eyed. That man should have known better than to touch my pretty doll,” Doffy declared, crouching down to press his palm into the sticky red puddle.
The blood of an unlucky man. A friendly man that tried to help you stay balanced while you walked down a flight of stairs in too-high heels.
“No one else will ever touch you,” Doffy breathed, pressing his bloody palm to your chest. He licked his lips as he dragged his fingers higher, painting your skin.
Doffy loves me. He’ll be King. Kings have to do this. They have to enforce their–
Your deep breaths and calming thoughts halted as his sticky hand gripped your face, digging into your cheeks to tilt your face up to his.
No more misty eyes.
You felt pride for your lack of tears, and for the smile he gave before he smoothed the hair from your face.
“You’re so pretty when you listen to me,” he praised, his grin deepening when he heard your pleased hum. “You know I’ll have to kill you too, right? You're my doll now. Letting someone touch you with their grubby fingers, and defile my toy sounds like another failure, huh, misty eyes?”
A soft noise escaped your lips as you struggled to be strong for him.
“Well,” he seethed, the veins in his forehead bulging as he shook your face in his bloody grip, “does my pretty doll have anything to say?”
“I-I’m yours, Doffy,” you promised, keeping your eyes dry as your body went loose, leaning into his hold.
“My body belongs to you, young mast– Doffy. I’d rather die than let someone defile your property.”
A bruising kiss took your breath, and you whined for him as he laid you on the marble floor. That spill of red beside you had finally stopped flowing.
“Don’t forget that, Y/N. I’m the only one that gets to defile my pretty doll. My disgusting, little toy. No one would want to touch you anyway. Not if they knew what you let me do to you.”
Doffy laughed as he proved it to you.
And you kept your eyes dry.
~🦩🦩🦩~
Last night, your mind had chosen memories over dreams. The lights and sounds of the sonar were lovely, yet too soothing, and Ikkaku caught you shaking yourself as you held in a yawn.
“Come on,” she ordered as she pushed you out of the weapons room, leading you through the halls. You pressed your fingers into your brow, trying to alleviate some of the pressure, not realizing where she was taking you until she called through a familiar door.
“Captain, I need to report a crew member who’s unfit for duty.”
“Wait, what,” you cried out, cutting off your own yawn as she rolled her eyes at you.
Law opened the door, his eyes narrowing on you before he looked at her.
“What’s your report?”
“Y/N was doing well with sonar, but she's clearly sleep deprived. There's no yawning at my weapons station, Captain.”
Ikkaku softened her report by flashing you a tiny smile, but your shoulders slumped in embarrassment.
“Thank you for the report,” Law cleared his throat, avoiding your eyes as he focused on her. “We’ll try again tomorrow. You’re dismissed, Ikkaku.”
She patted your back as she passed, her gesture of comfort lost as your body tensed at the touch.
With a shaky breath, you turned to him, staring at his tattooed arms that flexed as they crossed below his chest.
I didn’t mind when he touched me.
That thought was bittersweet, the bitter turning to bile when you remembered him pulling away.
“Come in,” he gestured into the office, and you stepped back into your memories. A shrine to Doffy, even if it was built of hate.
“How much sleep did you get last night,” he spoke like a doctor, scrutinizing every movement as you sat down across his desk.
“How would I know? There’s no clock in there.”
Somehow, his frown deepened, and you let out a heavy sigh.
“Did you sleep at all?”
The touch of warmth in his voice filled the cold room, but you didn’t want it. You couldn’t truly have it. So you let the truth ring through your mind as you lied again.
All I am is the broken toy of the man he despises.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be okay.”
Your eyes slid away, seeing nothing as you pretended to be fine. Yet, you blinked slowly when he stood, his chair scraping along the floor before he came to kneel beside you.
Time seemed fuzzy, but after a while you heard his voice, low and steady.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”
Too tired and stuck for anything except for the faint quivering of your bottom lip, you stayed silent.
“Is it…” he cleared his throat, flexing his hands before he went on. “Is it alright if I hug you?”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he tried to cover his worry in a soothing tone as tears and small choked sounds left your throat. “We don’t need to–”
“Please.”
That tiny, pathetic word left your lips, and you felt sick for asking for anything. Sick for forcing him to take care of you.
But you didn’t fight as he pulled the chair out, as he knelt to the side of your knees, as he touched long fingers to your cheek.
“Is it alright if I hug you,” he asked again in a whisper. You were too weak to protect him from you, nodding slowly until you felt more of his touch.
He pulled you gently forward, your arms limp as he wrapped his around your waist, letting your head rest on his shoulder.
“You’re okay,” he soothed, sliding a palm between your shoulder blades. “You’re gonna be okay.”
Denials and arguments struggled to leave your lips, anger and fear fighting for control.
But you were so tired.
And Law felt so warm, so solid, his smell familiar, yet new. He squeezed you tighter as your breath sped up, holding you still, until you held him too.
He didn’t let go as you dripped hot tears onto his neck. He didn’t let go when you clung to him, digging your fingers into his arms and shoulders. He didn’t let go as your cries flipped from silent to pleading, as you begged for his forgiveness, or choked over the fears and shame you carried.
Through every round of emotions, you would return to guilt and disgust.
“I’m sorry, Law, I’m sick. You shouldn't be... I’m sorry you have to touch me.”
“Why are you saying that,” he nearly growled, holding your head against him to keep you from leaving his grasp.
You had no idea how long you’d made him care for you, how many tears you’d let stain his shirt. But however long it had been, you were finally able to speak some of it clearly.
“You hate him,” you said, your feeble voice breaking between your haggard breaths, “and I’m his… I’m broken. I’m disgust–”
“Shut up.”
A surprised yelp stopped your words, the force of his grip catching your breath.
Law’s fingers dug into your skin as he pressed you against him, almost to the point of pain, and your mind froze as you waited for him.
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he declared, forcing the words through his teeth. “I don’t give a shit about what he did to you. I don’t care what he made you do. It wasn’t your fault, you hear me?”
There was anger in his words, but you knew it wasn’t for you. Still, you were stunned, feeling his heavy breaths beating against your chest.
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he breathed, his voice cracking as he buried his face into your neck before pulling away. It was almost painful losing his warmth against you, but he took your hands in his. He seemed to be having more trouble meeting eyes than you were, and you started sinking into the chair while he cleared his throat a few times.
“When I found out that you’d… That he’d… I should have saved you, Y/N. But I decided not to care about you so I could focus on my mission. I let him–”
“Stop,” you cried out, shaking your head against the guilt in his voice. “I wouldn’t have come with you before. I don’t even know when things started to change. But I would have betrayed you. I wanted to be… I’m glad you didn’t find me sooner, Law. I just wish–”
You cut yourself off, melting into his golden eyes. A stolen moment of peace amidst the guilt and pain.
“What do you wish,” he asked, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands.
“... I don't think broken people get wishes.”
He gave a jaded laugh before standing, leaning against the desk while he rubbed his knees.
“Will it help you sleep if I stay on your floor tonight?”
You smirked at his soft words, looking from his knees up to his face before responding.
“I don’t know, old man. I don’t think it’ll be good for your joints.” The look on his face was perfect, and a real laugh left your raw throat, shaking your tired body.
“We’re the same age,” he countered, eyes wide with that manic grin, “and disrespecting your captain is a punishable offense.”
“I see how it is,” you teased, lightly poking his side. “Still can’t come up with a good comeback, so you threaten me with violence? Looks like you haven’t changed a bit, you– Law!”
He’d grabbed your wrist before going to his knees again, those pretty fingers searching your ribs for the perfect spot. You writhed and laughed, and failed to fight him off as he tickled you, the way he used to when he couldn’t outsmart you.
“Law, you–”
“Fuck, sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
Law pressed himself against the desk, still on his knees with his hands held up, his eyes wide and worried as he looked at you.
You cracked up, true, heavy laughter, until his lips curled into that evil little smirk. But you beat him to it, sliding to the ground to get him back, tickling and getting a good squirm out of him before you both attacked.
He growled as he laughed, grappling you to the side of the chair until he had you pinned to the ground again. Neither of you could tickle the other as you fought for control or freedom. His cheeks were flushed as he laughed in your face, giving you a snarky, “nuh uh,” when you failed to break loose.
His tongue pressed between his teeth as he gloated, that cocky grin fading as you melted into each other again.
“I–I’m sorry,” he sighed, shifting his weight to leave.
“Don’t be sorry,” you demanded, breathless, and aching for him to stay. “I want…”
You closed your eyes, guilt and shame sliding into your lungs again.
His weight shifted, settling back where he was before. You bit your lip when you saw him staring at your mouth, and heat filled your body as you became hyper aware of every detail of his gorgeous face.
“You want,” he rasped as he met your eyes, concern still pouring from his own.
Your words were choked by all those shitty feelings and doubts.
“It’s okay, Y/N.”
His gentle voice eased the tension in your body, and you were grateful that he hadn’t moved. That he still touched you.
He was still touching you even though you were broken.
“I want you to kiss me.”
~🖤🖤🖤~
You’d ordered the stupid boy to kiss you, your arms crossed as you tried to act like you didn’t care. He’d lost the bet, and had to do whatever you asked.
“Ew, gross! I’m not doing that.”
Law stuck his tongue out, pretending to be sick.
“You lost the bet,” you scolded, punching his shoulder. “Want me to tell everyone you’re an oathbreaker?”
“Why do you wanna kiss me anyway? I’m sick,” he questioned, a hint of hurt in his voice as he gestured to the pale spots on his face.
“I don’t care if you’re sick. I like you how you are.” The confession slipped out, and heat rushed to your face as you clamped your hands over your mouth.
“You like me,” he taunted, smirking as he poked your burning cheek. “Ha, you’re such a girl.”
“Am not,” you yelled, your hands going misty with embarrassment.
“So, all I gotta do is kiss you, and we’ll be square?”
You nodded quickly, not sure if you should trust him.
“Fine,” he complained, leaning in.
You didn’t know what the big deal was about kissing. His lips were cold and scratchy when he pressed them against yours for a few seconds, then he scowled at you as he pulled away.
“That was dumb,” he deadpanned, poking your side.
“You’re dumb!”
He stuck his tongue out at you, and you chased Law down until he swore to never tell a soul.
~🖤🖤🖤~
“Ew, gross,” Law grinned, your mouth falling open in shock.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” he teased, moving his smug face closer to yours. “Kissing you sounds gross.”
“You fucking ass,” you seethed, struggling to get out of his grapple so you could punch him. “I can’t believe–”
He let out a needy sound as he crashed his lips onto yours, and you moaned against him. Your back arched when he released his hold on your arms to cradle your face.
A sob of relief escaped you, and you felt like you’d lost your mind, your hands clawing at his back to pull him closer.
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he breathed, pressing his forehead against yours. “I should–”
“No more ‘sorry's,” you ordered, “I just want you to kiss me.”
Law chuckled, his voice coming back in a wicked rasp.
“Ew, gross.”
Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!
a/n: Sorry about the gruesome, but I hope you enjoyed the wholesome Law with his childhood sweetheart. I adore this man 🥰
Note for the timeline: The childhood flashback occurred shortly before Cora took Law away, so both the reader and Law had known each other over 2 years, and were both between 12-13 yrs old. At the present time in the story, both the reader and Law are around 25 years old.
Tag List: @shewrites02 | @jadeddangel | @nothing-but-brass
Part 4
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Shameless, pt. 15
Severus Snape x professor!reader fic
Shameless Masterpost
hey guys.................. dont kill me. i'm so sorry for the incredibly lengthy hiatus.... i had no motivation, each time i opened the file to type i'd type a couple words, maybe a paragraph and close it. i finally found the motivation to finish this chapter recently, i'm hoping it stays. it's been a rough couple months, so hoping this can help me feel a bit better!!
i felt really guilty for sort of abandoning the fic where it was, but i couldn't force myself to write anything, there was no creative juice, i think i sort of burnt myself out. and for the previous posts saying i was back, i thought i was, but i'd have the smallest spark of inspiration and try to write, but then nothing happened, and i felt bad so i didn't want to say something like, sorry, i lied. :(
hopefully this chapter is okay, i know most of you won't like it, but i'm so glad i finally finished it, it was one of the hardest to write because i had so many ideas on how it'd end and effect the whole story itself, so i had to make sure it made sense.
i can't believe you guys are still here after so long, it made me emotional to see all of your asks and comments and likes, i was just floored to be honest, so thank you so much for your unwavering support. i love you all so so much. honestly. holy shit. this has been a journey. <3 i hope you guys are all doing brilliantly.
warnings: lack of snape, swearing, mentions of adultery, slight domestic violence, verbal abuse at the end
You didn't know where to go. You felt... lost. You couldn't exactly go back to your quarters, not with Ben there, you didn't need more questions about why you were crying your eyes out at this time of night. It's not like you could tell him the truth.
So, you did what anyone would: go for a midnight walk. Well, at least that's what you thought anyone would do when they had nowhere to go. You'd hoped that the fresh, cold air would soothe your burning lungs, and the gentle breeze would dry your teary eyes. In an even deeper, darker part of your mind, you also hoped that Black would find you. Perhaps that would make everything... easier.
With tears still streaming freely from your eyes and heavy feet, you padded towards the large, magnificent doors that led to the outside with your arms wrapped around your body tightly; trying your best not to breakdown until you were alone. Your hands were still shaking as you pushed them against the doors, opening it a tad as the cool wind blew through the crack and into your face. You gasped a little at the sharp breeze, but nonetheless you slipped out, and made your way into the courtyard. The temperature was a little more biting than you had anticipated, and so you squeezed your arms around yourself a little tighter, walking towards the infamous wooden, crooked bridge.
As you sauntered through the courtyard, the only noises you heard were the owls hooting in the distance, the gentle breeze brushing through the burnt-amber leaved trees and the faint clack of your heels against the cobblestoned ground. In all honesty, it did feel a little eerie to the say the least, but at this very moment that was the least of your worries. All you wanted was a little time alone to cry, or grieve what could have been with ...Severus.
Gods, it hurt to even think his name, let alone speak it.
You reached the wooden bridge, and you stopped in the middle of it; leaning against the intricately carved columns to gaze out at the highlands. The moonlight casted a gorgeous glaze-like reflection upon the Black Lake, and it twinkled beautifully, almost hypnotising you like an illusion. Your eyes flicked up to the moon and glanced around it, staring at the glittering stars surrounding it like a perfect painting. Only times like this did you miss teaching Astronomy. As your mind reeled back to your first year teaching at Hogwarts, you relished in the time where you did not know the man named Severus Snape, and suddenly your heart sank in your chest like an anchor dropped at sea. You were so naive back then, unknowing of what was to come.
As the memories of you and Severus flooded your mind like a dam breaking, you let yourself cry. You could still feel his lips on yours, his fingertips gently tracing the curves and grooves of your skin, the words he'd whispered into your ear - it was all there, stained on your skin, like a tattoo - or perhaps a branding. And now you had to live with it. You weren't sure if you'd survive this time, especially not with how deeply you felt for him. You were torn between pretending he didn't exist and trying to talk to him, perhaps even telling him how you felt, but truth be told you were petrified of how he'd react. Would he even look at you again with those glittering black eyes you'd come to adore so hopelessly? Would he dare speak to you again, knowing that he'd charmed you? Maybe he'd relish in the fact that he'd done so, take pride in bewitching you, and make you hurt for it. You knew Snape could be rather cruel, your school days here with him as your teacher was enough for you to know that.
All these unanswered questions swam through your head and you felt yourself becoming suffocated from them, and it suddenly felt as if your lungs had filled with water, drowning you. You sobbed helplessly as you slid down the wooden wall behind you with your hands against your face, the rough edges scratching your back through your clothes rather uncomfortably.
"Y/N?" A voice came from beside you, and you froze. You turned your head away from them and quickly used your sleeve to wipe your eyes, drying the tears that had fallen from them. Only one person has a voice as soft as the one you had just heard.
You gave yourself a moment to gather yourself before even attempting to use your voice.
"Hello, Remus." You croaked quietly, sniffling.
"What on Earth are you doing out here so late?" He questioned gently, and you heard him take a step towards you. "Are you alright?"
"Quite dandy," you sarcastically quipped, sighing deeply, "I'm brilliant..." You turned your head to face him, and immediately, his face softened at the sight of your own. You were sat up against the side of the bridge, knees up against your chest and your arms wrapped around them; nose and eyes red, wet with tears. Remus quickly dropped down to his knees beside you, placing a soothing hand upon your forearm.
"What happened?" Remus asked, careful to keep his voice quiet and soft. With empty eyes, you stared into his worried ones, and instantly you felt terrible. The last thing you wanted was people worrying over you.
You looked away, down at the ground. "I..." you mumbled, sighing, "it's a... long... story." You spoke slowly. From the corner of your eye, you saw a small smile quirk up on Remus's lips.
"I've got time, my dear." He replied as his thumb brushed your forearm, silently encouraging you to talk. You felt at ease in Remus's presence, it was almost like he had a calm aura around him, and naturally your body relaxed beside his. You took a deep breath.
"Erm," you choked, sniffling again, "it's Se... Snape." You couldn't bring yourself to say his first name without crumbling into a million pieces.
Remus let out a gentle breath. "Snape, of course," He tutted, glancing between you and the ground. "What's he done?" The fact that Remus reacted like he had expected Snape to have hurt you, further broke your heart. Were you the only one to have seen through his icy exterior?
"Broken my heart," You laughed dryly, and you had to fight back another bout of tears. Remus's brows furrowed in confusion at you. "We... I... Look, I'm not sure how to explain this to you. But... I fell..." You trailed off, unable to finish your sentence. Your heart hurt too much. You only hoped that Remus knew what you were about to say.
Remus blinked and stared at you, shocked. Clearly, the two of you had hidden your 'relationship' well - so well that everyone was oblivious to it. "You fell...?" He frowned.
"In love... with him..." You almost whispered, avoiding Remus's eyes. You weren't sure if you'd be able to handle the look in them.
"You're in love with... Severus?" Remus repeated, and you squeezed your eyes shut at his words. They were like daggers, stabbing your bleeding heart. It was almost like you could feel it trembling inside of your chest, begging you to free it from this cycle of torment. "But... Aren't you with... Ben? And... Severus... he's..."
"I know," you sighed, noticing his confusion, "I had feelings for Severus before I met Ben. And it sort of just, like, spiralled out of control, and now, erm, here I am- Gods, I should have just listened to Minerva, I wouldn't be here right now, hurting like this." You ranted, another strangled sob leaving your throat. Remus watched you, and his eyes softened. He felt terrible for you. "She warned me, Remus, why didn't I just listen to her?!" You cried, letting your head fall into your hands.
"Y/N," Remus whispered, reaching out a cautious hand to pry your face from your hands. With a soft gasp, you looked up with teary eyes, and he wiped a stray tear from your cheek. "We don't get to choose who we do and don't fall in love with. We follow our hearts blindly, most of the time, unknowingly." He said, and moved his hand from your wet cheek to your shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. "It's beyond our control who we love."
There was a moment of silence.
"...What do I do, Remus?" You sobbed softly, sniffling, looking at your knees.
"Have you told him?"
"No."
"I think you should."
"But what about Ben? Shouldn't I... deal with... that first?" You sniffled again. "And what if Severus doesn't feel the same way about me? Then what?"
Remus paused for a moment, thinking. You looked up at him. "What if he does?" He said, a small, comforting smile tickling his lips as he stared at you.
"Well- from the way he treated me earlier... I truly doubt it, Remus." You scoffed, glancing away from his pitying brown eyes.
Remus sighed, and you clenched your jaw. "Regret is a terrible thing, Y/N," he said, "it's such a short word, yet it stretches on forever." Your eyes were glued on the ground and your body was still, but your mind was running a million miles an hour.
You sat there in silence for a short moment, thinking deeply. Remus was right. You'd regret it for the rest of your life if you didn't tell Severus how you felt. That chance of him reciprocating your feelings was small, but it was still there. If he didn't feel the same, fine, you'd move on. Eventually. And if he did?...
"...Alright," You nodded sheepishly. "I'll tell him. I just... need to, erm, work out when and more specifically, how. Like, do I just straight up blurt it out? Work my way up to it? H-how do you know it's the right time?" You rambled with tears still falling from your eyes, glancing through them at Remus who sat beside you with a soft expression upon his features.
"You'll know." Was all he said before slowly standing and holding out a hand for you to take. Graciously, you took it, and Remus pulled you to your feet. "Feel better?" He hummed, casting a glance out at the moon, then a worried look suddenly struck his eyes. You noticed and frowned slightly at his behaviour.
The moon?
"A little." You forced a smile upon your lips, and lifted up a hand to wipe the remaining stray tears upon your red cheeks. Remus looked back at you, and returned your smile. "How come you were out so late?" You asked curiously, brushing off his odd reaction to seeing a moon.
"A walk in the night does me good," Remus shrugged, and began to walk back towards the castle with you beside him. "Clears my head."
"Ah, well, I suppose I'm glad you found me, then." You chuckled awkwardly, folding your arms against your chest.
Remus smiled at you and placed an arm around your shoulders, giving you a squeeze. "Let's get you back to your quarters, Y/N, you look like an ice block." He hummed and lead you back to the castle, but not before throwing another glance over his shoulder to the almost-full-moon.
Faint, footsteps trailed down an empty corridor, and a billowing black cape followed with it. As Severus marched, his chest felt horribly heavy, almost like there was a boulder chained to it, weighing him down. He couldn't figure out why he felt like this, and it was starting to make him a little irate. He knew it was something to do with you since it had started after you'd stormed out of his office.
As Severus was about to round a corner, the sound of familiar, sweet laughter rattled through his bones, and immediately he froze. Without a doubt, he knew it was you. Only you could have laughter that sounded like the sweet songs that birds chirped in the summer mornings. The breath in his lungs suddenly vanished and he quickly swooped himself behind a bookcase, poking his head out from the side of it to see who you were with.
The moment you appeared, that boulder chained to his chest became heavier, and he felt himself lean against the bookcase he hid behind. Severus's eyes widened as they glued themselves to the man beside you - Remus Lupin. His blood boiled at the sight.
What could have Lupin have said to make you laugh like that? He'd only heard you laugh like that when you were with him, not Lupin.
From a distance, he couldn't make out what the two of you were talking about, but it was obviously hilarious. Severus's jaw clenched as he watched Lupin place a hand upon the small of your back, guiding you.
Guiding you... inside your quarters?
Snape hissed silently to himself as he stared, his sharp and hardened eyes welded to the back of Lupin's head like molten metal. As your door shut, Snape could only huff in disgust with bared teeth. What were the two of you doing in there? It was past midnight and you and Lupin seemed happy as Larry to go into your quarters. Snape couldn't bear the idea of you and Lupin alone together - let alone the fact that Lupin had had his damned, grubby paws on you. Severus clenched his jaw in a violent fashion, very clearly upset at how you'd moved on so quickly, especially with another professor at Hogwarts. Was this your thing? Bewitch every lonely professor that you laid your wretched eyes upon and then move onto the next? Did it make you feel better about yourself in some fucked up way?
An uneasy, bitter feeling twisted inside of his chest as he pictured the two of you alone and he whipped around out of spite; the swoosh of his long, black cloak filling the silent hallway. How could you move on so quickly, so... easily?
"Never did I think I'd see the day that someone told me they fell in love with a man like Severus Snape." Remus laughed softly as he waddled to your sofa, glancing at you as if to ask if it was alright to sit. You nodded at him.
"And yet here we are." You hummed with a flat mouth, clearly not as amused as your friend was. "Sometimes I wish I was as emotionally guarded as he was, but then I remember how bloody miserable that would be." You mumbled, earning an abrupt laugh from Lupin who'd settled on the couch with a soft sigh.
Ben was nowhere to be seen, so you assumed he was asleep in the bedroom.
"Severus is an interesting character, most definitely," Lupin nodded and you turned around, walking towards him to join him on the sofa. "And I applaud you for being able to tame him. If it's any consolation, only one other woman had been able to, though I think it was... unintentional, if you will."
"Unintentional?" You questioned, your tone curious. Though almost instantly, that curiosity was killed as the thought of Severus with another woman stabbed at your fragile heart. "Actually, I'm not sure if I want to hear this right now." A dry laugh slipped from your lips and you exhaled sharply as another wave of tears prickled at your waterline.
"Alright." Lupin said softly, taking notice of your quivering voice. He stood up with a breathy groan and shuffled towards you, slinking an arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest. It was calming, and the way he hugged you reminded you of all the times your parents would comfort you as a child. As Lupin gave you a supportive squeeze, it was as if he'd accidently pushed the button for the waterworks - hot tears began to stream down your cheeks once again, and you sobbed quietly into his wrinkled shirt.
"Hey," Lupin sighed as he watched your shoulders shake with sorrow. His hand sat on the top of your arm, squeezing it gently: a dire attempt at consoling you. "Don't cry, Y/N, it'll pass."
"Idon'twantitto-" You mumbled into his shirt, sniffling loudly. Lupin's brows furrowed together in confusion as he paused for a brief moment, silently trying to decipher what you'd just said.
"What?" He asked gently, leaning his head down so he could hear you a little better. You lifted your head from him, sighing, another heartbreaking sniffle sneaking out of your reddened nose.
"I don't want it to." You repeated yourself, lifting a hand up to wipe your wet eyes lazily.
"I know. But it will." Lupin sighed too. "Severus is... a very... damaged man," He cringed slightly at his choice of words, but he continued, "I'm not even sure that you could help him- or fix him."
At this point, you were staring soullessly at the floor, and the only thing you could feel was Lupin's chest against your shoulders. Were you and Severus really a lost case? You felt like you'd made so much progress, he'd opened up to you, he'd... he also ran away again. Perhaps your friend Remus is right.
"I think I want to be alone." You suddenly blurted out, slowly glancing up at the professor with glossy, red eyes. Lupin blinked at you, confused for a moment, though he quickly came to. He didn't blame you for saying such a thing - you'd just had your heart ripped out, to put it simply.
Remus didn't say anything, he only nodded, offering you a kind, yet pitiful smile - and that hurt you slightly. You didn't want his pity, in fact, you didn't want anyone's pity. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." He muttered, brushing a hand through your hair softly. You shut your eyes for a moment and sighed, a small gush of guilt filling your body. Here Lupin was, trying to console you, and you're kicking him out. You hoped he didn't take it personally.
"I'm sorry, I... I just need to be alone." You quickly offered. Remus shook his head and frowned at you.
"No, I understand. See you in the morning, Y/N. Feel better soon." The professor smiled at you and this time it wasn't rich with pity, but kindness. He tipped his head at you and began to shuffle his way towards the door, opening it with a quiet creak from the oak. Before he disappeared out of your chambers, Remus turned around and smiled at you once more, slipping away.
Seconds after the door shut, a drowsy-looking Ben opened your bedroom door, popping his head out. He squinted at the bright light, clearly having just woken up. That settled your nerves slightly, since you'd just spoken about Severus with Remus, only a few metres away from Ben.
"Are you crying?" Ben yawned, his bushy brows furrowed in either confusion or annoyance - at this point you couldn't tell.
"No," You coughed and turned around to pretend to do something else as you wiped at your eyes. "I'm fine, go back to bed, Ben." A curt sigh fell from your lips, and almost immediately you heard footsteps padding closer to you. "I'm fine." You repeated, listening as his feet stopped behind you.
"What happened?" Ben asked, the tiniest hint of sympathy in his voice made you shiver slightly.
"Nothing, it was just a rough day at work, honestly. I'd rather not talk about it." Your brows shot together as you tried to keep the tears at bay, but you couldn't help but think about Severus as Ben placed a hand on your waist in an attempt to pry you away from the countertop and towards him. You didn't want anyone else's hands on you but his.
"Hey," Ben said softly, though it felt heavy in your chest. "It's work. It won't matter in a day or two." You were silent. "Y/N?"
"I need a drink." You muttered and forced yourself to look at Ben, cringing slightly as you walked past him and towards a glossy wooden cabinet in the corner of your chambers. You rarely drank, and if you did, it was to either celebrate something, or forget something.
Another uncomfortable silence fell on top of the pair of you.
"Want one?" You asked with no emotion in your voice.
Ben hesitated for a moment, his groggy eyes staring at the back of your figure, silently trying to deduce you. "...Sure."
You were going to regret this.
You'd changed into comfier clothes, more specifically a pair of forest green silk shorts and a matching camisole top. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you faced Ben as he was sat on the windowsill opposite you, nursing his glass of wine. After a few strong sips, the pair of you were chatting and reminiscing like old pals. "Remember that time when I turned Peter Kipling into a weasel in McGonagall's class?" Ben giggled drunkenly, elbowing you gently as you nodded with tears in your eyes, an amused grin spread across your face.
"Oh my- I forgot about that!" You wheezed, smacking your lips together. "Didn't you get... like... at least- like a month's detention for that?" You laughed, slurring, taking another sip of your glass of Elven wine. You winced slightly at the strong aftertaste as it burned your throat. That was to be your last drink, you couldn't take much more.
"Ohh, yeah, I d-id," Ben hiccuped, his laughter dying out as he sighed; his tired eyes falling onto you. Shuffling under his gaze, you felt slightly uncomfortable. A brief yet thick silence suddenly engulfed the two of you like a slow-burning fire. Ben stood from where he'd been sat, stumbling over to where you were, stopping just in front of your knees.
"I miss talkin' to you, Y/N." He sighed, taking his hand and placing it upon your cheek; carressing the apple of it with his rough thumb. The strong scent of alcohol on his breath made you gag a tad - you were drunk as well, but the smell of it wasn't pleasant, especially from his mouth.
Your breath hitched slightly at the sudden contact.
"..Yeah." You answered quietly albeit awkwardly as you stared up at Ben. Though, all the wine you'd consumed was making him look like someone... else - the darkness wasn't helping either, in fact it was fueling your hallucinations. The dark cast of a shadow from the lit candles behind him made his nose appear larger, and his cheekbones a little more pronounced.
Slowly, he crouched down until you two were eye-level, his hands slipping to your ankles. Your body stiffened slightly at the feeling. "Ben.." You warned, sighing as the drunk buzz and pleasurable tingle from the pads of his fingers was starting to cloud your mind.
"Whaat?" He whispered, heavy-lidded eyes still glued to yours as his fingers began to trail up your calves. Ben began to stand up slightly, pushing his face dangerously close to yours, and so you leant backwards to avoid him, your back gradually making contact with the bed. He shuffled forwards slightly, pressing a knee against the edge of the bed to balance himself.
You shouldn't be doing this, you knew that, but Gods, the alcohol was truly fucking with your morals and mind.
Would it hurt?
Just a little... taste...?
You shut your eyes as you became lost in the feeling; his fingers reaching the backs of your soft thighs, a breathy sigh falling from your lips. Slowly, you opened your eyes again as Ben's smalelr nose pressed into your neck, followed by his wet lips. You gasped as his hands found your torso, his fingers pressing a little too harshly into your flesh.
Severus.
Memories of him suddenly flooded your mind like a reservoir breaking a dam, flushing out anything that didn't embody him. All the times Severus had attacked your supple flesh beautifully; pulling gorgeous moans from those pink lips of yours. Your brows furrowed together as your body silently yearned for his touch. It hurt.
You were stuck between stopping this and just shamelessly indulging in the dark, twisted fantasy of pretending that Ben was Severus. You were being so selfish. And yet, you didn't care, all of the emotional turmoil that you'd been through tonight was pushing you to the edge - all you wanted was the man who didn't love you, who only saw you as a quick fuck, maybe some midnight company.
You shut your eyes again and tried your best to imagine him. With a sigh, you ran your hand up Ben's neck and into his hair, though it wasn't the same. You missed the way you'd tangle your fingers in his raven-black locks, gripping on it as he'd ravish your neck and breasts like some mad professional. Sighing frustratedly, you moved your hands down to his shoulders, expecting the rough, black fabric of Severus's robes, and yet you were met with the flimsy, thin fabric of Ben's white cotton t-shirt.
You felt so fucking pathetic.
Knock, knock.
You froze, eyes snapping open as quick as lightning. Was there someone at the door?
"Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Ben groaned drunkenly as he continued to kiss your neck. Unfortunately for him, the feeling had worn off the second you heard those knocks.
"The knocks at the door."
"You're.. imag-ining things, baby." Ben sighed and hiccuped once more, his uncomfortably hot breath on your neck made you shiver. At this point, Ben was much more drunk than you, and so with your remaining energy, you rolled him off of you. "Whoa- heey-!" He groaned as you slipped from underneath him, padding to the door. You didn't bother to check if he was alright, the only thing on your mind was who was at your door at this time of night.
Was it him? Did you want it to be him?
Reluctantly, you reached out your hand to open the door.
Nobody was there.
You frowned and leaned forwards, poking your head out to glance around. The corridor was empty, completely empty. That was incredibly weird, did you imagine those knocks? You sighed softly - perhaps you were a little disapppointed. Turning around, you shut the door, only to be faced with Ben sat sloppily in a chair with a face like thunder.
"Waitin' for someone?" He asked with a flat tone, his head lazily cocked to one side, still clearly drunk.
"What?"
"You know what I'm talkin' abou', Y/N." Ben said with the same tone, standing up, albeit unsteadily. You swallowed as he inched closer towards you, dragging his feet, your toes burying themselves against the hard wooden floor beneath your feet. "I know about the notes you kept. From him." He spat, pointing his finger at your face. Your heart instantly began to gallop; the pounding of its beats echoed in your ears like a harrowing scream in the night.
The notes...
"Excuse me?" You choked out, brows furrowing together in complete shock.
This was not how you wanted this to go down.
"I went through yer little drawers. In yer greenhouse," Ben scowled, his nose turning upwards in what you could only describe as disgust. "All of his little notes were perfectly preserved, and mine? Well-" Your mind was running so quickly that you could barely even listen to what he was saying - the fact that he went behind your back and invaded your privacy was the only thing sticking out to you as of right now. Your skin felt like it was on fire as the anger began to flood your veins.
"You went through my drawers, Ben?!" You yelled, shoving a finger in his face.
"That's the only thing you care abou'?! Not the fact that you secretly- obviously, have some sort of fucked up... thing for a man who treats people like they're the tiniest bit of shit on 'is shoe?!" Ben screamed back drunkenly as he bared his teeth, stomping towards you and smacking your finger away. "The fuck is wrong withya?"
You knew this could get ugly quite quickly, especially as Ben was drunk - a lot drunker than you. But at this moment, your anger was far too hot to even think about cooling things down.
You scoffed at him, your lips twitching upwards into a disgusted sneer. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Going through my stuff?!" You shouted at him, taking a step backwards as he began to get a little too close for comfort. "That's not okay, Ben!"
"How long has it been going on?" Ben asked, his tone suddenly calm. That put you on edge.
You paused for a moment, pondering on his question. It was probably best that you didn't answer that. "We're done here, Ben." You clenched your jaw, silently readying yourself for some sort of explosion.
"How long, Y/N?!" Ben yelled. The way the whites of his eyes were basically screaming at you made you feel terrified. In this current moment, there was only one pair of arms that you wish you were being held in. The man in front of you backed you up to the door, and you could only stare at him, for your wand was foolishly placed inside the pockets of your robes hung in your bedroom. Tears burned in your eyes as the guilt you'd tucked away was finally waking up and holding your body hostage with it's incredibly heavy weight. "Did you fuck 'im? Is that why ya never slept wit'me for months? Because you were too ...busy being his fucktoy?" Ben slurred, his face red and lips wet with saliva from how he'd been shouting.
"Shut up!" You cried at Ben as the tears began to break free from you and run down your cheeks like melting diamonds. This was so not the way you wanted this to go. "Please, just stop!" You were sobbing at this point as his words pierced your heart, quickly reminding you of what Severus truly thought of you.
"Oh, fuck sake, stop with the cryin'," Ben growled, drunkenly shoving a hand into your shoulder, sending you barreling backwards and into the door. You winced slightly as the bone of your shoulder blade made contact with the metal bar on your door. "Whiny bitch, yer the one in the wrong, not me!" He grumbled with a heavy sigh, turning away from you.
"Shit, Ben-" You gasped as you leaned forwards and pushed yourself off of the door, however, a sharp and excruciating pain shot across your shoulder as you tried to move it. "What the hell were you thinking?!" You whined, stumbling to the countertops of your kitchenette to lean on it. Your shoulder was fucking killing you.
"Me? What was I fuckin' thinkin'?!" A sarcastic, manic laugh fell from his lips and immediately you regretted your choice of words. The man spun on his heel, and suddenly he donned a wand in his hand. Now, you were scared for your life. "You're one to talk... you know what... I'm going to have you fired... yeah... blacklisted. From every job in this fuckin' area! That'll teach you to be a whore!" Ben screamed the last word so loudly that you were sure every sleeping student and teacher heard it. Your jaw ticked, and you had to look away, your face painted an embarrassed shade of scarlet.
Your heart dropped at his words. No way was this happening.
"You can't do that." You whispered, tears still streaming from your eyes as you stared at the ground.
"I work at the Ministry, darlin', anything is possible."
"Fuck you."
"What did you just say t'me?"
"Fuck you!" You cried out hoarsely with one hand on your shoulder and the other gripping the countertop. An animalistic like growl fell from your ex-boyfriend as he stormed towards you, fury burning bright in his eyes. He raised his wand, and you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for some sort of spell to hit you.
"Stupefy!" A familiar voice commanded, the swish of a spell following it suit. Then, a loud thud.
Reluctantly, you opened your eyes to see Ben laying on the floor, unconscious in a pool of his own saliva. Your chest heaved with fear, and you were incredibly scared to look up to see who had come to your rescue. Frozen, you stood still in your place, though you could feel your knees beginning to buckle. Within seconds you were on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, your lungs on fire from how harshly you were breathing. Merlin, you could've just died.
uh oh.. who saved her?
i'm sorry if you weren't tagged, i went through the majority of my notes and tried to find you all!! pls forgive me :( there was a lot due to my absence <3
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the girl across your street || pt4
Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader
Summary: You imagine telling Jenna it was her that made you pursue your dreams in becoming a director. Yet, you imagine telling her you carried your love for her as if it were a burden. You made her your temple, your mural, your sky, now you weren't so sure who she was to you anymore. It was the day she came back, your soul could never be more disoriented.
Words: 3.3k
Warnings: slight angst, swearing, and probably (?) the longest chapter.
a/n: sneaked a taylor swift lyric in there
part 5 || masterlist
You feel nothing.
You feel like crying.
You feel like shouting at her.
You feel you like want to tell her how much you went through because of her.
Yet, you feel nothing more than to kiss her.
You imagine telling Jenna it was her that made you pursue your dreams in becoming a director. Yet, you imagine telling her you carried your love for her as if it were a burden. You made her your temple, your mural, your sky, now you weren't so sure who she was to you anymore. It was the day she came back, your soul could never be more disoriented.
You turned your heel, heading the way to who knows where. You just wanted to fill the consuming void of your heart with something, anything.
"Y/n! Y/n, wait, please!" Jenna's voice reached you, seeping into your heart. Yet, you blocked it out as if it were the last thing you desired, even if a part of you yearned to hear that symphony one last time.
You wanted to talk to her, you really do, but the years of pent-up anger made you hesitant. You fear you'll eventually mutter something you'll eventually regret.
"Y/n, can we talk please!? "Jenna's calls persisted, her voice trembling, and her footsteps growing louder with each plea. The ringing in your ears seemed relentless ever since she said your name.
For a moment, you stop, and for a moment, your world flickered.
"I'm surprised you even remembered my name." You turned to her, almost seeing her eyes flinch at your words.
Jenna straightened, and you couldn't help but notice the changes in her over the years. Yet, that familiar glint in her eyes remained unchanged. You don't know much about yours. "I never forgot you, Y/n."
"But you made me feel like I was."
"I didn't mean to. I—"
"What do you mean you didn't mean to, Jenna? You never told me you were moving away. You never shared anything. No texts, no calls, not even a note under my door saying you were leaving. Nothing," you began, your voice tapering off into a shaky breath, cracks surfacing.
"You called me special, one of the few you let inside your heart. Then you just went and left without a word." Tears streamed down your face as Jenna remained silent. Her lack of response told you everything. Maybe she did intend to leave, you thought, maybe she never cared about you in the first place.
"Don't you understand how much that killed me?"
Jenna's mouth opened and closed, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words. You wanted her to say something, really anything, anything if it meant being given an explanation.
"I'm— I'm sorry, Y/n. I thought you wouldn't really care, I— I'm really sorry."
"Wouldn't care? Jenna, I fucking loved you."
Her eyes widened, and yours did the same. Complete silence hung heavy in the air as you try to get a word in, play it off as if you didn't mean it.
"You loved me?"
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
A voice in your head told you were too deep to crawl out, submerged in your own emotions and turmoil to even see the sunlight.
"I hate how it's impossible to hate you, Jenna. Even after all those years, I still love you so much," you confessed, tears welling in your eyes, regret consuming the moment. "I can't even pretend that I hate you."
"Y/n, I also—"
"I have to go, Jenna. Forget this ever happened."
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It had been months working with Jenna, and it's been months since the both of you last talked. In that time, you swore on yourself to keep everything beneath you, and the relationship you have with Jenna is only for professional matters. It hurt you deep inside, as much it pains you to admit it, but you wished you never told her you loved her.
Emma decided to take on guiding Jenna whenever she encountered a problem, which, she never really did. She was a skilled actress, you always knew that from the bottom of your heart, and seeing her act was like something out of a fantasy. You also sometimes helped her, but you always kept it brief for God knows what. You'd always think that you'll someday break out into tears yet again.
You stared at Jenna from afar at your own seat, seated at the corner where one could assume that you're busy with your own things. You had your headphones own, funny how you had them instead of Jenna, listening to the songs that Jenna once recommended for you. To maybe just feel a little something beyond sadness.
'…I've been broken-hearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know
My-my I could never let you go…'
It's ironic how this is the song she recommended a while back. Maybe this was her way of telling you she was going away, who knows?
Somebody tapped on your headphones, and before you looked up, you already knew who it was.
"You alright, y/n?" Emma asked, sitting down in front of you with a bottle of wine. Emma was always the one who was there for you at your lowest, she can almost sense whenever you are.
She poured it into your glass, and you drank without a single breath wasted. You continue to pour more until Emma stopped your arm.
"Okaaaay, I think that was the signal that you aren't fine."
"I’m…" Your gaze shifted to Jenna, a smile covering her entire face as she tries to drink a whole bottle of scotch dared by her co-stars. You could almost laugh at it if you weren’t drinking until your vision turns black. "I'm fine, Emma, don't worry."
Emma eyed you, concern etched on her face. "You've been drinking your sorrows away, y/n. And I'm not talking about the good kind of drinking your sorrows away. It's the type where you're attempting to kill yourself." She attempted to lighten the mood with a smile, but your attention remained fixed on Jenna.
Emma followed your gaze and then turned back to you. "You guys should talk."
Your eyes shot to her, "What do you mean?"
"You and Jenna. You think I haven’t seen you guys looking at each other from afar?" Her mouth curved into a smirk, taking her own glass and a sip of it.
You glanced back at your playlist, the cover being Jenna herself. "I don’t want to talk to her, Emma. I mean, what would I even say?"
"I don't know, y/n. Give her a chance to talk to you. You never really did since the last time you guys talked."
"How'd you know?" Regret flooded in as you realized you let your anger get the best of you that time. You were always the one to calm down before exploding, what happened to you?
"Jenna miiight've told me." Emma noticed your furrowed eyebrows and the slight of regret in your eyes. "Don't be mad at her, y/n. She doesn't really have anyone to talk to about you."
"I… I'm not mad. Just wished she talked to me." Fiddling with your phone, your voice faltered to a whisper.
Emma sighed, it's like she was talking to a toddler at this point. "She couldn't when you built walls over her, y/n. Every time she talks to you, you dismiss her."
"I'm—"
"You're too afraid to let her into your heart one last time, y/n, I know, but continuing to do that won't let anything progress between the two of you. If anything, it just makes you more scared. Take the risk, y/n, you always loved doing that before."
Your eyes met hers, and you were surprised by the seriousness in Emma's gaze. You never really expected Emma to give a heartfelt talk, everytime she comforts you, it always had a little fun in it, but this time it was different. "You're literally the last person I should be getting a tedtalk from." You finally smiled.
Emma returned the smile, grateful she had brought some lightness back into your expression after weeks of it gone. "What can I say? I'm versatile!" Both of you turned your attention back to Jenna, who looked your way before averting her gaze.
"Looks like she's also hoping you'd come to her." Emma stood up, ready to join the rest of the group. "You'll talk to her, right?"
"I'll try."
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It was already nearing midnight, and the store was about to close. You and Emma were settling the tab for the night's expenses while the rest of the group tidied up and exchanged goodbyes but Jenna stayed on the pool table poorly wasted and most likely unconscious to the bone.
After expressing gratitude to the bar owner, you and Emma exchanged glances, both sharing concern in your eyes while looking at Jenna.
"You take her home," Emma said, running to grab her jacket, keys, and already waving goodbye.
"Wait, what!?"
"Take care, love you always!" Emma dashed to the door and swiftly made her way to her car, leaving you alone with Jenna.
"Wait! Emma!—" you shouted before turning your attention back to Jenna. You sighed, picked up her bag, and draped her coat over her. Taking a deep breath, you lifted Jenna in your arms, her limbs wrapping around your neck as her head hung low.
After several minutes of struggling to open the door with one hand, managing different heavy bags, fiddling with your car keys, and taking care of Jenna, you finally got the car door open. Carefully, you seated Jenna inside, securing her seatbelt.
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You took her in your house just across from her old one. Oh how you've missed the feeling of being with her in this neighborhood.
You kicked off your shoes then walked to your bedroom where you carefully placed Jenna onto your bed.
Sitting down beside her, you immediately realized exhaustion took a toll on you. Your eyes were already falling heavy from the amount of work you exerted, though you knew you needed a shower.
You glanced at Jenna, wondering how she even knew you were filming a set. You were an upcoming director, sure, but you never really worked on big movies with a big budget or even working with big creators. But your name was definitely known somewhat.
Sighing, you stood up to fetch clean clothes and a towel, turning on the faucet for a much-needed shower.
In your time of organizing your things and fetching some clothes, you wonder why Jenna even did all of this. You knew Jenna wasn't the one for being pressured, especially in the entertainment network. She knew a lot of people who succumbed to the pressure of being in the spotlight, a walking billboard who has less control over their life as she would say. But you also knew acting is her passion, and she embraces it like a shooting star. You could only hope she wouldn't be burnt out by the increasing amount of workload she has.
With your eyes and brain already falling asleep, you turn the lights on at your bedroom with fresh clothes hanging by your arm. You close your eyes for a brief second, trying to not get the lights shined bright at you like you just walked by heavens gate.
"Wooahoh, holy shit— fuck!"
To your surprise, Jenna was awake, and staring you dead in the eyes with her iconic Kubrik stare. Damn, after all those years, she still has that flair for scaring the living shit out of somebody.
She was sitting on the ledge of the balcony, the cold wind of air in your street brought her a sense of nostalgia. She held the broken DSLR you owned, and you noticed the faint sound of your voices, distorted by glitches.
"You kept your DSLR?"
You went over to the bathroom then turned off the faucet, placing your clothes on a hanger placed on a wall. "Well, it's my first camera. Of course, I did." You called out.
You approached Jenna, sitting down with her on the ledge. You looked up at her, and you were suddenly reminded how you fell for her in the first place.
She fiddled with the camera, scrolling through the videos until she reached the last one.
"Aliyah! Aliyah, wait!"
"Y/n! Hey…"
"Where's—Where's Jenna? Is she going back to your house for her birthday?"
"Didn't she tell you? She's going across the country; she just got cast for a character in a film!"
You could only hear the faint sound of your camera crashing onto the ground and your glitchy 'what?' being muttered in the background before the battery on your camera dies. You look up to see Jenna's face, looking like she regrets everything she has done.
"I'm—I'm sorry for saying those things when we talked." You started, getting close to her until you were facing her and in arms reach. "I should've given you the time to say your side of the story."
She put the camera down on a table that was close to your window. "It's fine, I understand, I mean, I was a total shithead." Her voice was raspy, likely from recently waking up.
You laughed a bit, funny how she was the only one that made you laugh after the years she made you cry. "You never changed."
She looked up at you, a spark coming alive in her eyes as she tries to get comfortable in your space. "I could also say the same to you, dork."
"Hey, people say I've grown out of that phase."
"You're still that same dork to me. Always so eager to film a scene, going out of your way to do some idiotic shit on film, and that sparkle in your eyes stayed the same."
It was always something from Jenna that made you absolutely mad at her. Whether it was the sound of her voice, her laugh, the warmth of her touch, her aura, the beauty of her entire being, the words she'd say, it always made you so in love with her. But what you surrendered to is the beauty of her soul. And now, it feels as if you were now so deeply in love with her like never before.
At that moment, you could only hear the beat of your heart banging against your ears. You wanted to capture this moment in time and remember it forever.
Your eyes went over to Jenna's lips then looked back at her, her eyes speaking to you as if you both knew what you wanted from each other.
You leaned in ever so slightly, your breath ghosting on Jenna's lips before laying your lips onto Jenna's.
She pressed against your body, her arms wrapping around your waist while your hands cupped her cheeks.
You, in your life, could never describe the feeling to its utmost perfection. You just couldn't. If you ever did, you'd be lying. It was perfect, more than perfect. You couldn't describe it with only one, or even a million words. No sentence, no word, no phrase, no living or dying poet could ever write the moment you're feeling without having to find new words to describe it.
Her lips onto yours was like finally finding that one puzzle piece, her body leaning onto yours was like the tides crashing with the sea, your hand holding her face was like holding the whole world in your hands. You've completely lost yourself, you knew it in your soul, and your heart was now devoured by this girl, and you had no means in returning it.
Before the touch of her lips on yours, you were nothing. You never knew how starved you were, you never knew how much you longed for the touch of her lips onto yours, you never knew how insane you were up until this point, you never knew how love could burn this bright. Especially loving Jenna. Oh, especially loving her.
And then it was all gone, and realization settled in.
You kissed her.
Holy shit you kissed her.
You kissed her and it felt like heaven.
You looked at her in disbelief, how she even accepted your kiss was even more shocking than this. "I'm.. I'm so sorry, was that okay—"
And now, it was her turn to cup your cheeks and kiss you ever so passionately. You melted in her lips, the scent of her perfume consuming your heart entirely, making you go crazy. You sighed against her kiss, you feel her body going closer to you as she finally settled on your lap.
She pulled away, your eyes still closed as she laughs.
"I'd do anything and everything for you, y/n. Just, please, love me again." You opened your eyes to see the only girl you've loved in your entire life say something out of a romantic film.
You chuckle at her words, "I never fell out of it, Jenna. I always loved you."
"Does... does this mean we're, like, girlfriends?" You asked, a serious question by the way, as if kissing two times never really did the trick on you.
Jenna laughed, she laughed. The symphony to your ears came back, though you can finally listen to it forever.
"Oh my God, you really are such a dork."
"Seriously! I'm asking nicely!"
"Yes! Yes we are. You're my girlfriend now."
"And you're my girlfriend. Oh my god, I'm dating Jenna fucking Ortega everyone!" You shouted to the rooftops, couldn't really give a damn if you just woke the whole neighborhood up while Jenna just laughed with you.
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"You never told me why you had to move out." You questioned. The both of you were on your bed, Jenna being beside you and you were beside Jenna. You turned to your side, while Jenna turned to hers.
She looked at you up and down before saying her explanation. "Because I loved you. Too."—She added.
You immediately sat up, "What? What do you mean?"
Jenna stayed in bed, turning on her back. "It's stupid, so stupid. My mom's friends with different directors, right?"
"So she told me I needed to go across the country because she recommended me to one of the directors there and you know me, I wasn't that skilled at acting so I needed training."
"I reluctantly accepted the offer because... because I knew you liked the Scream Franchise. I thought maybe if I had accepted this job offer, you'd watch the full thing and you'd like me back in some way.
"But I didn't think it'd tear us apart. I was jammed-packed with schedules, I'm sorry, y/n. I tried calling and texting you after the film but I heard you changed your number and refused to give my parents your new one."
"When I heard you were an upcoming director, I knew I had to get on one of your movies, but my manager refrained from me taking several movies at once, you know, for my mental health. But when I finally got the chance to get on set with you, I was estatic." She explained her whole story, and you on the hand, felt guilty of ever ignoring her the past few months of filming .
"I didn't know. I'm so sorry I didn't let you speak when we met. I should've waited for your response, I never knew you... liked me back." You reached out for her hand, your thumb grazing over her palm
"I'm a great actor, y/n. I thought you knew that by now." She laughed, and then you laughed with her while going back down to bed.
"Will you go move in soon?" You asked, "well, not move in, but move back in this neighborhood."
"Maybe, someday."
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a/n: we're probablyyy nearing the end of this story. i just wanna thank you guys in advance for all the lovely comments! they make my day so much better and i always look forward to writing more chapters because of it. thank you all so much, i appreciate all of you!
taglist/s: @belatrixdragon , @mirage018 , @starstrzck
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Never Enough (S.R)
pairing: steve rogers x reader
warning: angst, allusion to breakup, Steve chooses Sharon over reader.
summary: Steve leaves you, thinking you’ll wait for him.
word count: 1.3k
a/n: I’ll be honest, this isn’t my best work, but I thought why not get something out because I’m pretty sure the next chapter of mr americana and the heartbreak prince will be a little delayed cus I have so much work to do but I hope this tides you over until them lmao.
part 1, part 2, part 3
“Steve, I swear to god if you walk out that door, we’re done” you say as tears run down your face. It’s radio silent in the Avenger’s compound as Steve stands in front of you about to leave because Sharon had called him because of an ‘emergency.’ After she had found out that you were Steve’s girlfriend, she found ways to come in-between the both of you and somehow, she was succeeding. This was your third fight about Steve just leaving out of nowhere when she called for him, you don’t know how much of this you had in you.
“Don’t be dramatic y/n” he rolls his eyes, “we’ve been over this, she’s just a friend” he says, and you cross your arms over your chest. “Steve, how many times do I need to tell you that she is not just a friend to you? A month ago, she wanted to get into your pants” you raise your voice and Steve’s expression only grows more annoyed, “She doesn’t want me like that anymore!” he says, your expression grows even more annoyed. “If you step a foot out of that door Steve, I won’t be here when you get back” you threaten him and watch as he hesitates before he says,
“She needs me y/n” he pleads with you and tears if frustration line your eyes at his words. “What about me?!” you cry out at him incredulously, “she! Is not your girlfriend Steve! I am!” you throw your hands in the air as tears run down your face in silence and watch as Steve’s irritated demeanour breaks “I’m going y/n, we can talk about this when I get back” he says and slides a hand down his face in exasperation. “Steven Grant Rogers, don’t you dare” you threaten as he again walks to the door. “I’m sorry y/n, I’ll be back” he rushes to the door as he feels his phone buzz again.
As soon as the door to your shared room closes. You’re sliding down the wall as you sob uncontrollably, why was it so easy for him to pick her? Why did he pick her? Why were you never enough?
The rest of the Avengers stand outside your door, hearing your heartbreaking sobs is enough for tony to get Friday to unlock your door before he crouches down next to you, letting you wrap your arms around him and sob into his shirt. “Why wasn’t I enough?” you cry and Tony’s eyes mist over at your heartbroken whisper, he shakes his head as he rubs your back “you are perfect” he whispers as he kisses your forehead. Tony had always been like a father figure to you since you had joined the Avengers, a little older than Peter, he had taken you both under his wing and taught you everything you needed to know.
As much as it hurt all the Avengers to see you so broken, it hurt Tony that much more that this was the one source of pain he couldn’t protect you from. As your anguished sobbing turned into small sniffles, Tony lifts your head and wipes your nose with his sleeve, “eugh” he makes a face and smiles at the small laugh you produce.
You loom around the room to see Peter, Bucky, Sam, Natasha, Bruce, and Wanda all standing or sitting in different parts of the room, watching you with sad gazes, you know they’ve probably already heard the entire fight and you find yourself collecting yourself before you stand up with the help of Tony to look at all of them, “I cant stay here” you admit to them. Their faces fall as they realise that this isn’t your usual fight with Steve and by him choosing to check on Sharon instead of staying with you, he’s lost his place in your life.
Some nod solemnly and other eyes mist over yet they all share an overall agreement knowing that they are willing to do whatever they need to help you heal. It’s surprisingly Tony who voices what everyone else is thinking, “do you not want to wait to hear what he has to say?” he asks softly as you lean on his chest. You shake your head as tears begin to fill your eyes again. “I asked- “your voice breaks, “I begged him to stay” you tell them and watch as sympathy floods their faces.
Wanda and Natasha are the first one’s moving in order to get you out of there, they give everyone tasks so that you have some breathing room, Tony is organizing a safe house out of state while Sam and Bucky are working on getting a plane and pilot to fly you to it. Peter is making food and trying to stock up the house with groceries for the near future and Nat is overseeing his orders to make sure he doesn’t put just junk food on it.
Whist everything around you is moving faster than you can imagine for you to be out of the compound before Steve gets back, which according to Bucky is in the next hour, You and Wanda spend time packing your clothes and essentials you’ll need to have. The quiet in the room is comforting even though you can feel the anxiety slowly overcoming you at the idea of finally leaving Steve.
Wanda breaks the silence as she bombards you with a hug, “I could feel your pain, I thought this might help” and it does, Wanda has an aura around her that is so comforting for everyone around her. You both continue packing before you’re interrupted by Bucky knocking on your open door, he smiles sadly, “we’re ready for you” he says and you nod, picking up the two duffel bags lying on the floor, leaving a piece of paper on the bed before you walk out to the quinjet.
Bucky stops you before getting on the plane, as he grasps your arm, he pulls you into a hug and you know this is his way for apologizing for Steve’s behaviour. “it’s not your fault Buck” you whisper, and you feel him nod into the hug, you were both friends through Steve and you knew just how scared he must be in fear of losing you because of what his friend had done.
Peter is next and you can’t help but laugh through your tears as you see him with tears running down his pouting face, he looks like a puppy. “c’mon parker pull it together’ you roll your eyes and pull him into a hug as he sobs, “you do know I’m coming back, right?” you whisper as his sobs stop and he nods and you both giggle together. “we’re ready for take-off” you hear the pilot through the megaphone, and you release peter to walk onto the plane.
As soon as the door opens for you, you hear your voice being called desperately. “Y/N!!” you hear, and everyone turns around to meet Steve’s broken expression. “NO! Please just hear me out!!” he’s screaming through his tears however Bucky holds him back. “No! Stop the plane please! I need to talk to her” he yells and tries to fight off Bucky to get to you, but you ignore him and wipe your cheeks and make you way onto the plane, “NO! Please y/n stop! I’ll be better baby! Just get off the plane please!” his screams are drowned out as you make your way to the couches on the plane and sob.
“Y/N! Please! Let me talk to her! Please someone! Let me talk to her!” his voice becomes hoarse from all the yelling as he watches the plane take off, he doesn’t stop struggling in Bucky’s hold until the plane disappears. “I’m sorry, God I’m so sorry” he cries into his hands before he collapses, crushing your handwritten letter in one hand as he sobs. Bucky lets everyone leave as he sits with Steve on the ground, watching his best friend fall apart on the dark asphalt.
#juliwrites#mcu#steve rogers#steve rodgers x reader#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers angst#captain america#steven grant rogers#captain america x reader#captain america x you#captain america x female reader#captain america angst
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