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#all customers are bastards
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I hate correcting customers who call me ma'am and miss and honey over the phone, because only about 30 percent of the time do they apologize and start calling me sir, while 70 percent of the time they double down assuming I was trans and continue misgendering me on purpose to show how little respect they have for me as a human being. "Thank you, MISS."
I'm a cis man, for the record.
Whenever I correct someone and they keep it up, I simply refuse service. "Oh, I'm sorry, we're completeley booked up the day you wanted. Yeah, no, we're booked up on your backup dates too. Looks like our next opening isn't until, hmm, mid-November. Oh, but it doesn't have enough beds for your party. We could probably fit you in around New Years, but you'd have to change rooms every day. You might wanna try [more expensive motel] a few blocks north of us, they might have vacancies. Have a good day."
I've been able to dodge what few complaints we've gotten so far because they all tell my boss that they just spoke to a very nasty woman, and she has no idea who they're talking about. "You must have dialed the wrong number, because I'm the only woman here, and I didn't talk to you." That PISSES THEM OFF, and she doesn't understand why they respond with "well we've been staying there for years, but we're never coming back." They think she's protecting me, an afab trans man, and are disgusted by it, but from her perspective they're just crazy people who are complaining about made up bullshit; it doesn't even cross her mind that they're talking about me. Why would it?
My boss is like 70 or 75, and was a Republican until 2016. It's never come up in conversation, but something tells me she wouldn't exactly be a trans ally. I'm in a weird position here, and it's hilarious.
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kelin-is-writing · 8 months
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not my boss scolding me today because i didn't smile a lot, like— bruh if i was happy i would smile duh????
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cantankerouscatfish · 3 months
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there are like 5000 ''major'' movies, series, and books I've have seen a lot about, and been recommended a bunch, and I just... don't. unless someone drags me unwillingly.
but I can usually get media references! I know what a Chewbacca is, kinda! and Spiderman! I played Half Life and Portal a little while ago so now I get those jokes after however many years! that was nice.
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albatris · 2 years
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maybe i should post nat's first murder <3
#I'm in a murdernat mood <3#blood n violence n vampiric activity oh my#i mean. with the added fun of ''nat has no idea what is happening to him'' of course#y'all ever go to work even though you're very very unwell because if you don't your manager will be super mad and you're#already on your last chance due to missing a bunch of shifts (because you got kidnapped but no one cares about that apparently) and#then you have a panic attack and then things get real weird physically and mentally and then you accidentally eat someone#like. y'all ever have that happen? just nat? ok#at least he doesn't eat a random customer or coworker :c#he DOES eat a random human who ticked quinn off that quinn bullied into staging a robbery quote unquote to ''just rough#this guy up a bit and scare him <3'' without the added caveat that nat is about to finally snap and the stress will#tip him over and make him do murders#perfectly timed murder so quinn can sweep in and be the wonderful saviour with all the answers <3#but ye lmao nat holds on pretty well he probly could have lasted another day or so at least#just dealing with vampire hunger alone. but not with added Presence Of A Threat that just sent him over the edge#its a very easy hop from self-defence from ''well this guy is bleeding and my fangs are already out and I'm hungry soooo''#a rental car takes a left down rake street and disappears#anyway quinn enacts this plan Without telling alex it's about to be enacted and alex just wakes up to#the MOST concerning voicemail and nearly has a fucking panic/heart attack#you cant DO that quinn. alex is a vampire alex can literally just die from stress ok. you can stress alex out so much alex just DIES#is that what you want?? bastard??#(no but quinn is an impulsive prick who didn't really think about how fucking risky what they're doing is)#(AND offers alex no proper chance to be nearby in case things go awry and quinn needs help)
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jacqcrisis · 1 year
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I finally got my axolotl otter!!!
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muttever · 10 months
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also today a customer got pissy with me over the price before going “oh its 100 dollars and 50 cents, i thought you said 150 dollars”
when i did literally say aloud the words “100 dollars and 50 cents” to her
... then she bumped into another customer on her way out and muttered something under her breath at the girl
like. ok
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robinsnest2111 · 2 years
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I kinda wanna try out one of these drawing tablets where you draw directly on the screen... maybe even with an art app with better brush options than what I have available to me at the moment...
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shrinewreck-moving · 2 years
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gd giving me a no good terrible awful bakery shift today so i can quit next week with no misguided nostalgia over a hospo job
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theearnestonion · 2 years
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if we open our coffee shop's lobby which is CLOSED INDEFINITELY to let two cops in ever again I will commit arson
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Don't be kind to tourists, they'll shit all over you and ruin it for everyone else.
There's a regular customer who comes to the motel every month and a half/two months-ish, and I've always been on friendly terms with him. He's one of the few people whose names I've remembered, so that automatically places him in a league above the average tourist. Well, he just dumped himself back down with the rest of the masses because apparently he wasn't satisfied with my level of service. I asked him if he needed anything else, and he said he wanted two extra pillows in his room. No problem, I can go around to the maid room and get two pillows and walk them over to his room in just a couple of minutes. Well, he thought I should have already put the pillows in his room. He says he always gets extra pillows and we should assume he wants them every time he comes, and I should know this because I always have to be reminded to bring the pillows.
Fuck you too, old man. This is what happens when I try to be nice to people, they start demanding special treatment. They want courtesy to become compulsory, and get mad when I don't have their specific requests burned into my long term memory. Listen dude, you were lucky I even recognized your face and name, now you're just Schmuck #347 to me. I deal with assholes like you a dozen times a day, and you ruined any goodwill I had with you. No please, no thank you, just an inflated sense of entitlement.
Bare fucking minimum from now on. Go in, pay for your room, and get the fuck out. Need anything else? To damn bad! You give these bastards an inch and they'll walk all over you!
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faexoxoxoxo · 2 months
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐓...
ᓚᘏᗢ basketball player gojo x reader x basketball player geto.
✎⁠ 18+, overstimulation, pure filth, smuttt...
✎⁠ dividers by @cafekitsune
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It was simple, really.
Suguru loved you, Satoru loved you, and they both wanted to see you wearing a jersey that had their name on it during the teams basketball tournaments.
Again, simple. They could've worked out a schedule and taken turns having you wear the names. Heck, you even offered to customize a new jersey with both their names on it, but nooo, like everything else in life, your boyfriends just had to make a bet about this.
Whoever made you cum the hardest got to have you wear their jersey.
~~~
“Aww, look at your pretty pussy, baby. filled her up real good, huh? Such a greedy little hole...”
God, you wished you could smack the proud grin off Satoru's face, but right now, with his head between your thighs, long tongue dipping into your weeping, overstimulated, cum filled pussy, all that came out of you was a broken string of soft whimpers and moans, twisting and turning as Satoru coxed you over the edge for the third time.
You tried to squirm away, but they wouldn't let you. Suguru had a firm grip on your legs, keeping them wide open, while Satoru seemed drunk of your juices and his own cum, hungrily lapping at everything you had, refusing to let a single drop of it go to waste.
Turning your head, your dazed eyes met Suguru's silently pleading with him to tell Satoru to back off, to put an end to this little game of theirs, but all you got in return was a smile. The smug bastard was enjoying this; it was obvious, with the growing strain in his pants and a barely noticeable flush on his face. It came as no surprise, really; you already knew how much Suguru loved watching you get ruined by Satoru.
“Hmm, What's wrong, princess? Satoru's not pleasing you enough?” Suguru cooed, wiping the drool off your lips with his fingers as you sucked in a deep breath.
“Ahhh...S...Suguru...no more…”
They really needed to stop; you'd pass out if they kept on making you cum...
“Nuh uh, baby, I plan to win this” Suguru laughed. Your teary eyed, fucked out expression, coupled with the plea, was enough to make him rock hard, “not about to let you wear this idiot's jersey tomorrow,” giving a harsh slap to your thigh and making you gasp, his grin widened, hand now moving to pull Satoru's head away from your cunt.
“Hey!” Satoru groaned, “Fuck you, man, everyone knows I'm the strongest.” cussing the black haired man as he’s pushed aside.
“Right, right,” Suguru mocked his playmate, flipping you onto your back, “now be a good boy and lemme show you how it's really done.”
Without warning, he'd filled you up, with one hard swift thrust, hips slamming against your ass as he ferociously rutted into your weeping cunt, “My dirty little slut” Suguru grunted as you sobbed into the pillows.
"Sugu…ahhhh…noo can't…slow," you mewled back, arching instinctively as his cock kept on hitting the sensitive spot that made your brain turn to mush, “need to cum... Sugu...please, please, please, lemme cum.” You babbled, starting to feel the familiar coil building up inside your tummy.
“Yea? Gonna cream around daddy, and make him win...” Suguru taunted menacingly, angling himself to hit your sweat spot over and over again, while making eye contact with Satoru, who'd begun moaning while fisting his own hard, reddened cock.
“Yes, yes, yes…” you chanted fervently, toes curling as you moaned out little yeses and pleases. He'd done it again, Suguru’s dick always managed to reduce you into nothing more than a brain dead cock slut.
"Fuck...go on then,” he breathed, voice raspy and deep a sign that he was close too. “Lets show Satoru what a good girl you are for me.”
Your body quivers. Feeling Suguru throbbing inside your tightening pussy, you let out a soundless scream before coming all over his cock.
The sight was enough to have Satoru fall over the edge. “Shit... princess,” he groaned, looking at you through hooded eyes, as his cum spilled onto the bed and his abs in hot spurts. “Now I get why this asshole loves watching me fuck you.”
Chuckling, Suguru pulled you closer to his chest, keeping on fucking you ruthlessly through your high, making you whimper. “Gonna fill you up so much; you'll be leaking for days, princess,” he let out a long groan, his head falling back, thrusts growing hard and slow until he finally stilled inside you, his hot load filling you up to the brim as promised, his dark violet eyes meeting Satoru's sparkling blue ones.
“Damn it.” Satoru swore knowingly, he never liked admitting defeat, but Suguru'd won this round with his dick game. Well, no matter, this just meant he'd have to try harder again next time...
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✎⁠ I've always done character x reader, and this is my first attempt at character x reader x character so don't know how well I wrote it but hope you guys enjoyed...
✎⁠ likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated⁠ ♡
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yandere-daydreams · 7 months
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Title: Coveted.
Pairing: Yandere!Geto x Reader (+Yandere!Gojo) [JJK].
Word Count: 1.1k.
TW: Set Two or Three Years Post KFC Break-Up, Intimidation, Prolonged Stalking, Future Dub/Con, Mentions of Non/Con, and Unbalanced Power Dynamics.
[Part Two]
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“You’re Satoru’s date, right?”
The voice was masculine, deep and as rough as it could be without crossing the line into gravelly. You stiffened, squaring your shoulders and burrowing your nails into your palm as your eyes darted across the table – where a man with dark hair and an off-putting smile was currently sliding into the unoccupied side of your booth. He reached out, clearly planning to shake your hand, but when you failed to move, he only let out an airy chuckle, propping his chin on his fist as he went on. “I’m a friend of his – Geto Suguru. You can call me Suguru-chan, though. Has he already told you about me?”
He was dressed like he’d just rolled out of bed – his attire limited to a form-fitting black shirt and a pair of loose sweatpants in the same color, his hair pulled into a loose bun. His tone was friendly, light. You returned it with a dead-pan stare, hoping it conveyed the weight of your exhaustion. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Is that what he told you to say?” Another laugh, somehow more blood-chilling than the first. Your attention shifted outward, to the late-night diner where Gojo had asked you to meet him. There were only a few other customers, the skeleton of a proper staff, but single other person would’ve been one too many. You didn’t need to make a scene, not again, not after last time. “That sounds like him. He’s always been a stingy bastard.”
With a pressed frown, you pushed yourself to your feet, but Geto’s grin only broadened. He snapped his fingers and as if it’d only been waiting for a queue, a shape manifested at the end of your bench. You couldn’t bring yourself to look directly at it, but you saw enough out of the corner of your eye; a bulbous torso, shrunken arms, too many eyes to resemble any living thing. Instantly, what little courage you still had was replaced with a knot of dread, a bolt of pure anxiety. You half-expected it to lunge, to bite, to attack, but it didn’t move, only standing guard at the foot of your table.
It didn’t move, but it didn’t have to. In a moment, you’d fallen back into your seat and shoved yourself against the wall, fighting not to shake. It was a sight Geto seemed to take a particular joy in, letting his head lull to the side as he watched you curl into yourself. “You can see them. I was starting to think I had the wrong person.” A pause, a glance towards his summoned monster before his narrowed gaze skirted back to you. “Don’t be shy, now. How much did he tell you?”
It took you a moment to find your tongue, another to swallow back the tremor in your voice. "He said he could protect me.” It was harder to admit than you’d expected – not so much that you needed protection, but that there was something you needed protection from. You’d spent so long writing off your monsters as hallucinations that it was still a struggle to act like they were anything more. But, for as unwilling as you were to confront your little monsters, the resounding ache in your right leg where that thing had dug its claws into you was impossible to ignore. “He… he didn’t mention anyone else, but we’ve only spoken once. He was supposed to explain—” You gestured to the monster. “—all of this today.”
A slight hum, a look of genuine surprise. “So, he’s got some self-restraint after all! I thought he would’ve cracked months ago, considering how long he’s been following you around like a lost puppy.” He must’ve seen your expression fall, your posture slacken, because he didn’t wait for a response before going on. “I mean, you must’ve known that, at least. Did you think he’d play knight-in-shining-armor for just anyone?”
“I…” You trailed off quickly, shaking your head. “I don’t care. As long as he can protect me, I don’t care why he’s doing it.”
“That’s a dangerous thing to say. You wouldn’t want to make Satoru feel so replaceable, now, would you?”  
At that, you met his stare. “What do you want?”
His eyes skirted towards the monster, who took an obedient step back. For a second, you considered running, trying to slip away before the man in front of you or your newly-realized stalker could make you regret ever showing up at all, but Geto was quick to cut off your escape route, filling the empty space beside you before you could so much as pick which door you would barrel through on the way out. “Well, now that we’re on the same page,” Unlike his monster, he didn’t give you the option of leaving him in your peripheral; settling close enough for his leg to press into yours. At this proximity, you could pick up the smoke on his breath, the scent of stale gore clinging to him like a second skin. As if he’d just stepped out of a blood bath. “I’d like to make you an alternative offer.”
“You’d protect me?”
“Oh, I’d do more than just that.” His hand fell to your thigh. “I’d have everything you’ve ever been afraid of bowing to you by the end of the night.”
You swallowed dryly. “You didn’t answer my first question. What do you get out of helping me?”
His answer was nonverbal, but clear enough. With that same idle grin, he nodded toward the streaked window, to the building across the street. Your heart fell into your stomach. It was one of those sleazy, by-the-hour hotels – the sign missing more than a few letters and the parking lot as empty as the diner. It was the kind of place that you only went to for one thing, and you had a feeling Geto hadn’t found some miraculous second reason to want to be alone with you in one of those bug-infested rooms.
You weren’t sure why you said it. Maybe to buy yourself time. Maybe because you couldn’t stand the idea of being left in silence as what was left of your rational mind screamed at you to get out of there. “I don’t have any money.”
“It’ll be my treat.”
“What happens I refuse?”
“I kill everyone here,” His nails bit into exposed skin. “And then fuck you on this table while their bodies attract flies.”
You might’ve cried, if you hadn’t been so tired.
You might’ve done anything, if you could bring yourself to care about anything but keeping those awful creatures at a distance.
Stiffly, with your eyes shut and your teeth grit, you forced yourself to nod. Geto rewarded you with an impossibly wide grin, a breath of a laugh. “Smart little thing.”
This time, he didn’t pretend it was an option; reaching out, taking your trembling hand in his own, and squeezing so softly, you could almost convince yourself he was being gentle.
“It’s only a shame Satoru isn’t here to join us.”
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theostrophywife · 1 month
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my collar.
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pairing: theodore nott x reader.
song inspiration: she's my collar by gorillaz (feat. kali uchis)
author's note: sometimes theo just needs to be put in his place and i'm more than happy to deliver that 😏
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It was heinous.
It was criminal. 
It was downright torturous.
Your boyfriend leaned over, his lips grazing your earlobe as he lowered his voice to a husky, seductive tone. “Are you okay, principessa? You seem a little distracted.” 
Crimson colored your cheeks as you straightened against the wingback chair, clearing your throat while you looked around the table, which was currently occupied by your closest friends. All of which were none the wiser to the effect Theo had on you tonight. 
“I’m fine,” you squeaked out. 
“Really?” Theo drawled, sliding his hand down your thigh and squeezing firmly. “Because you haven’t stopped shaking your leg since dinner started. A shame. Malfoy flew in a private chef from France. He really wants to impress his girl. I know what that’s like.” 
You inhaled sharply as his hand trailed higher, his rough and calloused fingers slipping underneath the slit of your dress. “Teddy, please…” 
“Begging already, dolcezza? I thought we agreed to save that for the bedroom.” 
The teasing and taunting, the push and pull, the cat and mouse routine between you and Theo had been constant all night. Punishment for turning down his proposal for a quickie before dinner. It was hard enough to say no to Theo on a normal day, but declining your boyfriend’s proposition of hot, frantic sex while he looked absolutely sinful in a custom three piece suit was nearly impossible. Not to mention painful. 
Still, if you’d taken him up on the offer, you most likely would’ve never made it to dinner. You couldn’t do that to Draco. He needed emotional support. Tonight was his first time ingratiating Hermione into your friend group and you promised that you’d do everything in your power to make her feel welcome. 
With a sigh, you pried Theo’s fingers off of your thigh. “Behave, Theodore.” Your boyfriend pouted like a petulant child. “Draco needs us.” 
You nodded towards the blonde who looked equally panicked and appalled while Blaise recounted embarrassing stories to Hermione. The golden girl seemed amused by the antics, but Malfoy was anything but. 
“Save him before he ruptures a blood vessel,” you murmured to your boyfriend. For good measure, you batted your lashes up at him and gave him a look that he couldn’t refuse. “Please, baby.” 
Theo sighed, mumbling in Italian under his breath. “Gentlemen. Care for a cigar?” 
Thankfully, Zabini’s plan to embarrass the hell out of Draco was momentarily forgotten. Crisis averted. Draco shot you a grateful look, knowing that you were most likely behind the save. Salazar knows that Theo would’ve delighted in the effort of sullying his oldest friend’s reputation if he hadn’t been distracted. 
The boys rose from their chairs, excusing themselves from the room. Theo lingered beside you, dipping his head to place a kiss right underneath your jaw. He sucked lightly on the sweet spot and smirked as you melted against him. The bastard was playing dirty. 
“You owe me for that, cara mia.” 
Desire bloomed in your core, flooding heat through your body as you peered at your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but admire him in his suit. The midnight blue fabric draped over his tall and lean figure like your own personal gift and the deep stormy color brought out his eyes. You flushed as he turned, training his intense gaze on you like he was savoring the sight. With a cheeky grin, Theo shot you a wink before slipping out the door. 
Beside you, Pansy tutted in disapproval. “Get a hold of yourself, Y/N.” 
You flushed as Hermione bit back a grin. The curly haired witch patted your hand. “You have my sympathy. When I first saw Draco in a suit, I nearly spilled wine all over myself.” 
“See, Pans. I’m not the only one,” you murmured in self-defense. “I can’t help it.” 
Pansy shook her head, her glossy bob grazing her chin. “You can and you will. Don’t let Nott turn you into a simpering mess. The Y/N I know would bring a man to his knees.” 
Hermione nodded in agreement. “I think Pansy’s right. You should show Theo who’s really in control.” 
You smirked as an idea started forming in your head. “You’re more devious than you look, aren’t you, Granger?” Hermione flashed you an innocent smile, which made you laugh. Draco had his work cut out for him. You liked her all the more for it. “You two have a point. Maybe I’ll give my boyfriend a taste of his own medicine tonight.” 
Once your mind was made up, the three of you moved on to more important topics. You were fascinated to hear about Hermione’s work on curing lycanthropy while she was equally curious about the proposed laws that you were in the process of bringing before the Wizengamot. The bill was a passion project of yours because it would give rights and protections to muggle born wizards and witches that had never been afforded to them before. You were ready to fight tooth and nail to see it come to fruition. 
Needless to say, you were a little too passionate about it. The last time Rita Skeeter interviewed you under the guise of bringing light to the cause, you nearly strangled the sneaky little witch for taking more interest in your romantic relationship than the work you were trying to achieve. You were glad that Pansy worked her high society charm and publicity experience to diffuse the situation. 
In the end, she bribed and threatened the proper people to have the story killed. It was a blessing in disguise since you ended up giving exclusive rights to the Quibbler, which was now spearheaded by your old classmate Luna. She truly did the story justice. As a bonus, her tenacity seemed to have caught the attention of the pickiest witch you knew. No matter how many times Pansy denied it, you knew your friend was smitten. 
“Babe, you should take your own advice and just ask Luna out already.” 
Your friend nearly choked on her wine. Hermione watched the interaction with an amused expression. Her lips curled into a mischievous smile as she turned over to Pansy. “I happen to know that you’re just her type.” 
Never in your life had you seen Pansy Parkinson blush that furiously. She caught herself, holding her head high in that aristocratic way of hers. “Of course I’m her type,” your friend declared in a haughty tone. “I’m everyone’s type.” 
You and Hermione looked at each other before bursting into a fit of giggles. Pansy cracked a smile and laughed along. The three of you were in full hysterics by the time the boys came back. 
Theo slipped back into his seat, squeezing your shoulder gently. “What’s so funny, dolcezza?” 
“Girl talk,” Hermione answered on your behalf. “It’s not for you boys to hear.” 
You nodded in between giggles. “What Granger said.”
Draco groaned. “Bloody hell, they’re unionizing.” 
Your boyfriend raised a brow. He placed his hand back on your thigh, resuming the torturous contact from earlier in the night. “Keeping secrets from me now, Y/N?” 
You plastered a saccharine sweet smile on your face. Theo observed curiously as you peeled his fingers from your leg before firmly holding his hand. “I thought you liked a little mystery, baby.” 
Theo swallowed thickly as you leaned in to whisper in his ear. He held his breath while you pressed your palm against his chest, twirling his tie between red painted fingernails. You lowered your voice into a dark, seductive tone. “Have I told you how good you look tonight? I could just eat you up.” 
Lust blown eyes stared back at you, those familiar piercing blue irises completely swallowed by darkness. Theo shifted in his seat as his gaze dropped down to your mouth. You flashed him an innocent smile before releasing his tie and returning to the conversation happening around you. You could feel that burning gaze on you as you laughed and talked with Pansy and Mattheo. 
For the rest of the dinner, you kept up the nonchalant act. You mustered every ounce of self-control within you and rebuffed all of Theo’s advances. Every time he leaned in for a kiss, you gave him your cheek instead. When the group moved to the sitting room, you walked by his side instead of leading the way because you knew Theo would take advantage and smack your ass when no one was looking. To his surprise, you slapped his backside with a sly little smirk, causing him to glance over at you in shock. 
By the time you were seated on the expensive velvet couch, Theo was practically jittering. His knee bounced beside you as Hermione continued telling you about the Paris trip Draco had planned. Without looking at him, you placed a hand on your boyfriend’s leg and stopped his anxious bouncing. He sighed beside you, no doubt pouting like a petulant child. Yet you didn’t give him the satisfaction of acknowledgement, which only made him more desperate. 
“Let’s get out of here,” Theo whispered into your ear. “You can devour me all you’d like, cara mia.”
You shook your head. “We haven’t even gotten to dessert yet, my love.” 
When Draco brought out a spread of chocolate covered strawberries, the opportunity to tease Theo even more quite literally presented itself on a silver platter. You pinched the ripe fruit between your fingers before wrapping your lips around it. Theo watched with rapt attention as you took a slow, deliberate bite, making a whole show of sucking and licking off the chocolate. He gripped the armchair so hard that his knuckles turned white from the strained effort. 
You bit back a smirk as he crossed his legs and tried not to groan. It was obvious that you had the upper hand now. Theo was barely paying attention to whatever anecdote Enzo and Mattheo were rambling to him about. Those electric eyes were trained on you as you picked up another strawberry. 
“Want a bite, Teddy?” you asked lovingly. “They’re sweet.” 
Theo sucked in a breath before nodding slowly. He didn’t trust his voice at the moment. You offered the fruit to him, cradling his cheek gently as he wrapped his lips around the strawberry in a suggestive manner. Theo kept eye contact as he sucked the white chocolate off. You stared back, smiling sweetly as he devoured the fruit in one bite. He seemed frustrated at your unaffected expression, but you were determined not to break. You were going to come out on top tonight. In more ways than one. 
Usually, the two of you would be the first to leave. You rarely made it through an entire night without Theo dragging you into the floo so you could tear each other apart back at your shared flat. Tonight was different though. You lasted all the way through midnight, forcing yourself to laugh and chat with your friends as you ignored your boyfriend’s fuck me eyes from across the room. 
For that, you made sure you were the last to leave. Theo was convinced he was slowly dying. As soon as the two of you stepped through the floor, your boyfriend scrambled towards your direction, itching to get his hands all over you. 
You stepped out of his reach and shook your head. “I didn’t say you could touch me.” 
Theo looked utterly confused. “I’ve never needed permission before.” 
You chuckled darkly. “You really think I’d reward you for acting like a brat all night? You’re going to learn that it’s a bad idea to tease me like that in front of all of our friends.” Theo gaped at your words. “Now, sit. You can use this time to think about what you’ve done.” 
“Dolcezza, please —“
”Did I fucking stutter, Theo?” You jutted your chin to the bed. “Sit. I won’t tell you again.” 
Judging by the look on his face, Theo was stunned at the sudden change, but you knew your boyfriend well enough to notice that he was entirely turned on by it too. He settled on the edge of the bed, watching in anticipation as you made your way over to the vanity table. As slowly as possible, you took off every piece of jewelry one by one. The diamonds glittered brightly as you removed them from your neck, ears, and fingers. 
A tense silence settled in the room while you pulled the pins out of your updo, sending your hair cascading over your shoulders. Theo squirmed in place, groaning at the sight. You knew that seeing your hair down was his weakness.
“Baby,” he pleaded in the darkness. “Can I touch you?” 
You cut him a disinterested glance over your shoulder. “You can help me take my dress off.” 
Theo sighed in relief as you sauntered over to him. His slender fingers struggled with the zipper, eager to tear the fabric off of your body. You met his gaze through the mirror, giving him a stern look. 
“Slow, Theo. You need to be patient.” 
Your boyfriend swallowed thickly, struggling to reign himself in. He concentrated on undressing you slowly, his hands shaking slightly as he pulled the zipper down. He cursed under his breath when your dress pooled around your feet, leaving you in nothing but a little lacy green set — his favorite. 
The struggle was evident in his expression. His gaze raked over your body, settling on the spiky heels that you purposely kept on. The red soled stilettos clicked against the wooden floors as you closed the gap. You smirked as you settled between his legs and tugged on his tie. 
“Your turn,” you rasped while Theo gazed at you with pure hunger. “Let me undress you now.” 
“Okay,” Theo murmured, dazed and confused as you unbuttoned his shirt. 
He hissed when you raked your nails over his chest and made quick work of his tie. Theo started unbuttoning his shirt, but reeled back when you swatted his hands away. Your boyfriend gazed up at you expectantly, letting his hands fall neatly to his sides while you took over. Without much effort, you expertly unbuckled his belt and kneeled before him to help him slip out of his pants. Once he was stripped down to his boxers, your eyes flickered back to his face.  
“Get on the bed,” you commanded. 
Theo was mesmerized, inching backwards towards the headboard on his elbows, but keeping his attention on you as you crawled on the mattress with your heels still on. Your boyfriend was completely under your spell as you brought your face close to his, your hair tickling his chest while he eagerly drank you in. 
“What do you want?” 
“I want to kiss you,” he answered without hesitation.
”Then learn to ask for it.” 
Theo nodded, biting his lip. “Can I kiss you?” 
You raised a brow, utterly unimpressed. “Try again, Theo.” 
He chewed on his bottom lip, canines sinking down. “Can I kiss you, please?” 
You smirked, pleased with the magic word. “Good boy.” 
Something dark flashed in Theo’s expression. Your words seemed to awaken a new level of lust and desire within him. The praise gave him a rush that he had never felt before. Theo surged forward, his mouth slanting over yours eagerly. He tasted like wine and strawberries, heady and sinful while he kissed you deeply. His tongue slipped past the seam of your lips, demanding entrance. You granted his request, licking the roof of his mouth as you battled for control. 
Theo welcomed the challenge, groaning into your mouth as he pulled you into his lap. You straddled him and tugged at his hair as you flicked your tongue over his bottom lip, licking and sucking until he groaned with need. Theo took liberties without your permission, his greed getting the best of him as he grinded his hard length against your ass. 
You weren’t going to reward his impertinent behavior. You promised to teach him a lesson tonight. Theo gasped as you bit down on his bottom lip before raising his arms above him. He blinked in confusion as you bound him to the headboard with his own tie. It all happened so fast that by the time he noticed, it was already too late. 
Theo tugged at the restraints, squirming underneath you. “Please, cara mia. I want to touch you.” 
You sighed in disappointment. “Then you should've asked.” 
His biceps flexed as he struggled, the veins on his forearms stark and prominent against his olive skin. Panic filled his eyes when he realized that there was no getting out of his binds. “I’m sorry. I got greedy. Please untie me, principessa. I’ll be good, I promise. I’ll make it up to you.” 
Theo sounded desperate. You traced his swollen lips with your fingers and tugged at his messy brown waves. His eyes were wild as you straddled him. “Oh, you will,” you drawled, flashing him a devious smirk. “After I’m done with you, you’ll learn not to disobey me, my love.” 
Your boyfriend panted heavily as you kissed down his chest, sucking and nipping at his flesh in a punishing manner. He was barely breathing as you trailed further south, licking a stripe down his torso. Theo whimpered as you pressed sloppy, openmouthed kisses along his abdominal muscles, leaving hickies in the shape of your initials on his skin. You continued taunting him with your mouth, flicking your tongue along his sinfully delicious happy trail like you had all the time in the world. When you grazed your teeth against his v-lines, Theo tugged at his arms so hard that the headboard rattled. 
He was practically in tears as you palmed his cock through the fabric of his underwear. Theo held his breath as you toyed with the band of his boxers, hooking your fingers over the fabric before sliding it off his long legs. His eyes rolled back while you pumped him, applying just the right amount of pressure to have him writhing against your touch. 
A desperate little whine slipped past his lips as you licked at the head of his cock, swirling your tongue over his tip and slurping up his precum. His moans filled the room when you took him down your throat, holding his hips down so he can’t fuck up into your mouth like he wants. Theo cursed in Italian as you pumped him with both hands, all the while sucking down and hollowing your cheeks to suction him in. 
“Fuck, bella. I’m so close,” he whispered in a hoarse voice. “I’m going to cum.” 
You withdrew your hands and your mouth at that moment, making him whine and groan from the sudden absence. Theo’s eyes flew wide open, tears filling his vision as you shook your head in disapproval. 
“I thought I told you to ask,” you chided. “If you want to cum, use your words.” 
“Please, please, baby, I’ll do whatever you want —“
”I know,” you said before settling over him and sliding off your panties. “And what I want is for you to get me off. Think you can help me with that, Theo?” 
“Yes, yes. Just untie me and I will. I’ll make you feel good, dolcezza. I promise.” 
“Oh, but you can do that right here, right now. With your hands tied.” Theo groaned as you grinded against him, spreading his precum and your slick over him. He moaned when his cock rubbed against your swollen clit with the perfect amount of friction. Theo was bewildered, his breaths coming out in ragged spurts. 
“Be a good boy and let me use you as my fuck toy. You can do that, can’t you, Teddy?” 
There wasn’t a single coherent thought in his mind. Theo felt the words escape him as you grinded against him. He felt dizzy. His cock was so hard that it hurt and he couldn’t even think straight. You hummed, brushing a finger over his balls before cupping them in your hand. 
“Use your words, pretty boy.” Theo blinked back, unable to speak. You grabbed his jaw roughly, forcing him back into focus. “I asked you a question. I expect you to answer.” 
Theo whimpered before nodding weakly. “Use me, dolcezza. I’m yours.” 
You smirked in satisfaction. Theo groaned as you rubbed your pussy against his cock. When his shaft brushed against your clit, his eyes rolled back so hard that he was convinced he could see the vacantness of his empty mind. You rode him hard and fast, using his body to get you off. The depravity of it turned him on even more. The blood rushed out of his head at the dominance you exhibited. You were utterly selfish, taking what you wanted when you wanted it, and he was so fucking aroused at how cruel his girl could be. 
You raked your nails over his chest as you balanced, teasing him with your wet folds without letting him feel you. Theo bit his lip so hard that the action drew blood. You licked away the crimson droplets and he sighed against your mouth as you gave him relief, sloppily kissing him while you moaned his name. He could tell you were getting close by the way you convulsed above him and he cursed as your pussy squelched against his cock. 
Theo was in awe as you cried out, cumming while you screamed his name. You slowed the roll of your hips as you lost yourself over to the orgasm, denying him of his own again. Your juices trickled down your thighs and pooled against his stomach. At that point, his cock was so sensitive that it throbbed painfully. Theo was in shambles, his wrists raw and red from tugging so hard. 
“Please, please, baby. Let me fuck you. I need it. I need you. I’ll die if I’m not inside you.” 
You chuckled, brushing the salty tears pooling underneath his pretty eyes. “Pathetic. Are you begging for me, pretty boy? So desperate to fill me up, to feel my pussy hug around your cock while you pump your cum inside of me, hm?” 
“It hurts so bad,” Theo whined. “Please, I’ll do anything. Anything you want. I’ll get on my knees and beg. Please, principessa.” 
“Look at you crying for me,” you cooed, caressing his cheek. “Poor Teddy. You’ve been so good. Let me take care of you now.” You soothed him with praises as you untied his arms. 
You kissed his wrists as Theo sighed in relief. “Do you want to touch me, baby?” 
Theo nodded shyly, which made you smile. His large, rough hands carefully gripped your hips. He looked to you for approval, making sure to check with you for every little thing. You only nodded, dragging his hands up to rest on your breasts. He busied himself with your bra strap, breathing raggedly as he freed your tits from the fabric. 
“Can I touch them, please?” Theo asked earnestly. 
“Is that all you want?” 
“No,” he answered honestly. “I want to kiss them. I want to suck them.” His gaze flickered to your amused expression. “Please, baby.” 
“Go ahead. You earned it, pretty boy.” 
Theo wasted no time, kneading your tits while kissing down your cleavage. He gasped in surprise when you sank down onto him, nearly sobbing in relief when he felt your pussy hug around his cock. His shaky little breaths seeped into your skin as you took inch after inch, making yourself comfortable on his lap as he sheathed himself inside of you. Theo whined when you lifted your hips until only his remained inside of you. 
“Don’t whine, Theo. Be thankful that I’m fucking you instead of punishing you.” 
He rested his head on the crook of your neck, attempting to ground himself. “Thank you, baby. I’m grateful. I don’t deserve it, but you’re so good to me.” 
With a proud smile, you slammed down to take all of him again. Theo was rendered speechless and his mouth fell open as you bounced on his cock. Desperately, he scrambled to catch your perky breasts into his mouth. Your boyfriend sucked on your tits, swirling his tongue around your nipples. You moaned as he nipped at you, tensing when you yanked him by his hair. 
Theo stared at you, waiting for direction. Knowing that you had this much control over him made you clench. In your relationship, Theo tended to take on the dominant role, but now that you knew that your boyfriend was more than open to being submissive, you were ready to explore this new dynamic.
“I like this side of you,” you murmured, kissing down his jaw and neck. His breath hitched as you slowly rolled your hips. “So obedient. So willing. So submissive.” A shiver shuddered through him as you wrapped your fingers around his neck. “Tell me who you belong to, Theo.” 
“You, baby,” he rasped. “Only you.” 
“Show me,” you commanded as you squeezed his throat. It was enough to make Theo feel dizzy, momentarily cutting off his oxygen. “Fuck me like you mean it.” 
The desire to please you overwhelmed him. All thoughts of his own pleasure faded. It was secondary to the need to hear you praise him, to validate him, to call him your good boy. He hooked his arm around your waist, shifting his hips to fuck into you at a deeper angle. You moaned above him as your bodies melded together. Sweat, sin, and sex permeated the air while he worshiped at your altar. 
Theo watched his cock disappear between your folds, his gaze flickering from your pussy to your face, eager to know if his actions pleased you. You brushed his hair back, gentle and loving, while you talked him through it. 
“That’s it, Teddy. Fill me up.” Theo thrusted as you bounced, groaning as he hit the sweet spot that made your body sing. “Just like that. Fuck, it’s so good. You’re so good, baby.” 
Your forehead dropped to his, rewarding him with sweet little kisses every time he hit the spongy spot that had you seeing stars. He relished in your compliments, felt himself craving it like a drug. When your pussy clenched around him to signal your release, Theo continued to fuck you through the orgasm. There was a reverent glimmer in his eyes like he was witnessing something holy when you came. 
Theo could feel his own release nearing, but he knew better than to cum without asking. It was abundantly clear to him that you were in control tonight. “Can I cum? Please, principessa?” 
“Of course you can,” you replied with a blissed out smile. “Good boys get to cum.” 
He held his breath, feeling warmth spread throughout his body. “I’ve been a good boy?” 
“Mhm,” you murmured, pulling him in for a soft kiss. “The best boy.” Even though you were sensitive and overstimulated, you made sure to reward his good behavior. Picking up the pace, sliding easily up and down his cock thanks to your wetness, you whispered the words that you knew would push Theo over the edge. “Now be a good boy and cum inside of me, baby.” 
Theo cried out with a shout, shuddering underneath you as he shot hot ribbons deep inside your pussy. You could feel his cum filling you up, warm and wet as it trickled out. He panted against your neck as his cock twitched inside of you, releasing his load with each pump. As he emptied himself out, Theo slowed, his body collapsing from the intensity of the orgasm. 
When he regained consciousness, he was flat on his back. Theo blinked away the white spots in his vision. It felt like his soul had left his body entirely. He had cum so hard he passed out. As he rejoined the physical realm, Theo opened his eyes to find you cleaning him up. You were so sweet and gentle, the complete opposite of the selfish lover you’d been just a few moments ago. It warmed his heart to know that you’d always take care of him no matter what. 
Theo smiled as you kissed his forehead. A small whimper escaped his mouth as you pulled his boxers over his legs, his cock still sensitive from the intense sex. You whispered sweet nothings into his ear, soothing him as you brushed your fingers through his hair. Theo cuddled against your side and sighed happily. 
“Holy fuck,” he whispered. 
You giggled, pressing soft kisses all over his face. “Did you like that?” You asked, teasing your boyfriend. “It seems like you did.” 
He hummed against your skin, brushing his lips against your neck. “Fuck, I think you just unlocked a new kink for me.” You chuckled at his words. “That was so fucking hot, baby.” 
“You know, I was trying to teach you a lesson,” you mused. “I didn’t quite expect you to enjoy getting degraded this much.” 
“Degrade me whenever you want, dolcezza.” 
"Really?" you hummed, musing on his willingness. "How far would you let me go? If I broke out a leash and collar, would you have stopped me?"
You were half-joking, but the eager expression on your boyfriend's face told you that he was more than willing to make your suggestion into a reality.
"Don't threaten me with a good time, cara mia." Theo wrapped an arm around your waist, tugging you closer. "I'd crawl to you on my hands and knees if you asked. If you're the one asking, there's nothing I wouldn't do."
The power definitely gave you a head rush. As much as you relished in the hold you had over him, you tucked the knowledge away for later. There was plenty of opportunity to act out all your dirtiest, filthiest fantasies, but for now, you were more than content to snuggle with the love of your life.
You smirked, nipping at his jaw. “That’s my good boy.” 
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mullettaegi · 1 year
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FUCK my stupid shitty workplace for making me cry so much. FUCK IT.
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the-writer-arrived · 10 months
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Wait, you're engaged?!
Synopsis: you two are engaged, congrats!! how does he share the news with others?
Characters: alhaitham; diluc ragnvindr.
Warnings: gender neutral!reader, fluff, crack, this is actually more crack than fluff oh well, diluc and kaeya are brothers.
A/N: this is the third draft I wrote in two hours. IS THIS WHAT'S LIKE TO HAVE MOTIVATION????
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It all started with a simple question about your well-being coming from Kaveh.
"So, how have they been lately?" was what the architect had asked, while shaking the elemental dice in his hand. He was playing a TCG match against Cyno, not an uncommon occurrence when the 4ggravate group of friends get together at Lambad's Tavern.
"Oh, my fiancée is doing just fine, I guess they're in a bit more energetic mood than usual." was what Alhaitham had answered, nonchalant as if he was talking about the weather and hadn't just dropped a huge bomb just like that.
The cheeky bastard is actually hiding his smirk with his wine cup, totally satisfied with himself at the shocked looks everyone has now.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!"
"Kaveh, please don't yell, you're making my ears hurt!"
"A-Ah! Sorry, Tighnari..."
"It seems like you didn't get a single dice of the elements you needed, your luck is truly something to be researched about."
"Wha-?! You...! Ah, no, wait, who cares about that?!"
I'm telling you, the guy is doing all he can to surpress the grin threatening to appear on his face.
No one was expecting to hear that, heck they didn't even know Alhaitham had bought a ring in the first place????
Dude how come you don't share these life changing plans with your homies?!
He shares the tale of how he had proposed to you... And let's just say Kaveh's romantic side was not happy about how it happened.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PROPOSED WHILE YOU TWO WERE LOUNGING IN THE LIVING ROOM???"
"Kaveh, too loud!"
"S-Sorry!"
Much to Kaveh's dismay, Alhaitham didn't make any extravagant gesture or big preparations.
It was just you and him, in the comfort of your home and it just felt right to pop the question at that moment.
What no one, not even you, knew is that the confident, smart and aloof scribe had not actually planned to propose to you like that at all.
Ever since he had bought the ring months ago, Alhaitham had devised so many different ways on how to do it, always thinking about which scenario would make you the happiest.
But when he had you laid down on his lap, spounting your usual nonsense just to try to get a reaction out of him because you were bored, it simply felt... right to do it right then and there.
Make no mistake, he may not have shown, but his hand was shaking when he pulled the small box out of his pocket, he had to thank Lesser Lord Kusanali for allowing his voice to not come out shaky.
Alhaitham's cockiness aside, Cyno, Tighnari and Kaveh are all genuinely very happy at the unexpected, but positive news.
"Let's order some bread, then."
"Bread? Why do you want bread all of a sudden?"
"So we can offer a toast to the future spouses... Get it? Toast? As in-"
"Yes Cyno, we get it!"
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Ahhh Diluc, my sweet Batman of Mondstadt... He had always thought that the best course of action was to keep everyone at arm's length, not only for his sake, but for other people as well.
Now, as he gazes at the beautiful ring on your finger, he can only laugh at how naive he was for thinking he would be able to do that during his whole life.
On the next day after he had proposed to you, every customer in Angel's Share can see Master Diluc acting rather... odd.
He seems... I don't know, lighter? His expression doesn't look so serious anymore... Wait, is he... smiling?!
Needless to say, everyone at the tavern is dying to know what happened to the tycoon of the wine industry, but no one dares to ask him directly...
...no one but a certain cavalry captain of the Knights of Favonious, that is.
"My, someone is in a good mood today. Did something nice happened lately, Master Diluc?"
"Here's your Death After Noon, Kaeya."
"...Okay, something must have happened for you to prepare my drink before I even ordered it."
After much poking and prying from Kaeya, Diluc finally relents, just so the pestering would stop.
It's a lie, he is actually feeling ecstatic to be able to share the news with someone.
Everyone and their grandma knew about your relationship with Diluc of course, it's a bit hard not to when you are dating the uncrowned king of Mondstadt himself, despite you two not making a public announcement of being together.
So, before he could even tell Kaeya that he had proposed to you, the captain already suspected that that was the reason for his brother's sudden change of behavior.
Even so, that doesn't stop a genuine smile to appear on Kaeya's face as he congratulates Diluc.
"It's about time! I was starting to wonder how many more years you were going to make me wait, before I had the chance be your best man in your wedding."
"Who said you're going to be my best man?"
"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you've forgotten our promise to be each other's best man when we were younger?"
"...I'm surprised you still remember that.
What Diluc wasn't aware at that moment was that a certain bard had eavesdropped "accidentaly" listened to his private conversation with the cavalry captain.
It was such great news, the bard couldn't help but let it escape during the drunk conversations he had with other patrons that night.
How could he imagine that those patrons would tell their friends, who would tell their friends and so on? Of course the kind-hearted bard wouldn't do that on purpose!
It's not his fault that all the citizens of Mondstadt now know about Diluc's engagement with you!
Sorry Donna.
"Come now, Master Diluc! Good news are meant to be shared with others! Who knows? Maybe even the Anemo Archon caught wind of them, ehe!"
"...I won't sell you any wine for a month now."
"W-What?! Please, don't be so cruel, Master Diluc!"
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thanks for reading <3 likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated <3
heart divider made by @/cafekitsune
pink alhaitham and diluc banners (fluff) made by @/the-writer-arrived aka yours truly <3
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yawnderu · 4 months
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this popped into my head - can't stop thinking about it.
our lovely bimbo wearing those viral tiktok sweatpants? The "i <3 my boyfriend" and proudly flaunting them about?
>bimbo!reader would ABSOLUTELY wear those sweatpants with NO shame at all omg 😭😭
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Simon wouldn't even notice what they say until he sees her turn around, but by then it's too late to go back home— they're literally in the middle of a store, grocery shopping.
“Fuckin' hell.” You immediately know what he's talking about, a sly smile on your lips as you look up at him.
“You don't like 'em, Si?” You bat your eyelashes at him, playing innocent. He does like them, but... it just surprised him, that's all. He has been holding your hand for hours, unaware of what your sweatpants even said.
“I love 'em, sweetheart.” You can see him rolling his eyes before a the corners of his lips turn into a small smirk, an idea forming in his head.
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“No way.” You burst out laughing, a proud smile on your lips when you see what he's wearing. The bastard bough a custom-made ''I love my girlfriend'' shirt, decorated with pictures of you he got from your Instagram. It's corny and flashy— just the way you like it.
There's a small smug smirk on his lips as you start taking pictures of the shirt, always making sure to avoid capturing his face in them. God bless Johnny and his stupid ideas.
Bimbo!Reader Masterlist
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