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chaotic-autumn · 1 year

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never let anyone convince you that your excitement isn't beautiful. what an incredible thing it is, to notice and be overcome by any bright spot in this too-dark world.

it doesn't matter what you're excited about, how small it seems to other people, your joy deserves to grow as big as it can. nurture it. help it grow strong so that when you are hurting your joy can lend you its strength.

#against nihilism #for a rainy day #depression #mental health #neurodivergent #adhd #adhd community #nerd shit #nerdfighteria #fandom meta #adhd shit #chaotic textpost #cringe culture #anti cringe culture #fuck cringe culture #nerd culture

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awritersbro · 1 month

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A piece of conversation i had with @windwalker-chrysalis about hope

#hope #against nihilism #anti nihilism #My challenge for you: find one happy news story every week #doesn't have to be big just has to be happy

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therapycreature · 2 years

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GAH! HOW THIS “MONKEY’S BALL” VEXES ME! BUT DO NOT DESPAIR, MY MOHGLETS, FOR WE WILL OVERCOME THIS ADVERSITY TOGETHER!

#elden ring #mohg #@ my brother streamer mohg canon #AUDIENCE! LEND ME YOUR ENERGY!#TYPE 'NIHIL' IN UNISON SO THAT I MAY KNOW VICTORY AGAINST THIS 'STAGE 24'

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dragonomatopoeia · 11 months

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i know it's all jokes but i think sometimes we can lean a little too hard, collectively, into the 'nothing in life matters' mindset. like that's where the reactionary radicalized 'blackpills' start. this idea that nothing matters and everything sucks forever and the wonderful life you were promised never materialized.

i'm not saying this as a platitude or rebuke-- i think it's perfectly natural to feel disheartened about the conditions in which we live, and existential terror is something i'm more than passingly familiar with.

that being said, a purely nihilistic outlook in which nothing matters can end with prioritizing our own best interests with careless disregard for those around us. it can be easy to toss others aside when you have preemptively categorized them as meaningless

we collectively create meaning in this life by discovering it in ourselves and in each other. by looking out for one another, we have the capacity to create a string of kindnesses and more joyful moments, one after another.

#i had a remarkably bad day so i'm kind of litany against nihilisming

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finisnihil · 5 months

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Me, a Zhongli main, never dodging? You must be joking right? No no no my poor little fool this bad boy was not built to shield goodness no he’s built to one shot anything that annoys me. I WILL HAVE OR-

#genshin impact #zhongli #DPS Zhongli mains rise #I dodge like my life depends on it #the shield is only good against hilichurls and my Klee main friend who keeps trying to set me on fire #Nihil Dreams

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this-should-do · 3 months

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god i am obsessed eith the tonal shift between ahlf life 1 and 2 in regard to the sense of success at ur accomplisments

in 1, nothing you do ever gives u a sense of success or accomplishment, u killed people, u killed aleins but u have so much more to do. its an empty feeling, oh u killed the tentacles? cool go down the hole, dog urself deeper into this mess. oh you killed the gargantua and turned on the railway? go down deeper into the water and blood deeper into the bowels of the beast you created of the facility. you kill the nihilanth and u look up at the fireworks knoeing you are going to die, you cannot escape the explosion and the mess youve created. ur pulled from the mess and you are told you have guranteed urself a future of killing and endless battles or a battle u can never win. mothing you do matter none of it is worth anything. you are cold and alone and soaked in blood and people are only getting more scared

but in 2 the mood shifts, the smallest battles give people hope for a future. you can kill even a few soldiers and even if you do have to go deeper, the people around you cheer, if only for a moment, theyre alive and breathing and so are you. so many things yo do youre asked to do them again and again and each time these people are excited, thwyre grasping for a semblance of hope til thwir nails bleed and they cheer becuz they are alive and in the sun and watching their breath freeze as they cheer in the cold air of the mountains. the grass is green and growing and its more life than uve seen since before you moved to the middle of a desert to work in a concrete prison far from the warmth of the sun where it bakes all that it touches.

do you think gordon feels the happiness of the rebels? feels a sense of accomolishment in even the smallest thing he does? is he satisfied or fullfilled for helpjng these people? can he feel the sun warm the skin of his face and the bite of eastern european chill on his nose the way the rebels do? does he relish in that he is alive still? is he coming back? or do you think he still feels dull as he sinks deeper and deeper into the recesses of his mind and the concrete cage of balck mesa where his old life died?

#judt thinking about how often citizens and rebels in half life 2 cheer at wven pulling down a sign ir killing a robot #and how joyous and gleeful they sound at the smallest accomplisment #compared to how the guards and scientists get more and more grim the longer the game goes on in half life 1 #things get worse and worse in both games in the forces they face but the world seems brighter in 2 #maybe its becuz things in hl1 can only get worse when ur in the middle of losing ur way of life #vs things can only get better when uve got nothing to lose and every small win is more than uve had for the last 20 years #but its still just so beautiful and tangible #and i love to think about how gordon fits into it all #hes a relic of a different time a different battle where nothing he did mattered #the whole time was a battle against a derivative of nihilism a foreshadow of torment to come from the combine #and he coukdnt win that battle withiur self destructung #is it a sign of whats to come #has he changed? will he change? cna he survuve or is he stuck in a loop of the same battle over and over again #killing himself with everylife he takes as punishment for dooming hjmanity #iwillspeakincessantly #sorry #thinking

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shallowseeker · 8 months

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Rowena & Crowley back the wrong horse, over and over and over...

Everyone remembers Rowena's tragic clinging to Lucifer in season 11, and how it ended up for her. Upon learning she's the only one that can put him back in the cage, Lucifer pragmatically snaps her neck--a form of cold, indifferent insurance:

Ah, the tragedy of Rowena's desire to have security. Rowena wanted to be loved and protected by Fergus's father. She wanted to be appreciated and protected by Lucifer.

Crowley remarks that she's always looking for the biggest, baddest beast in the room to hide behind.

///

In 11x23 Alpha and Omega, we see Rowena cozying up to her newest target, Chuck:

ROWENA: [Crowley mocks her as she speaks] Charles, I'll put the kettle on. My mom always said, there's nothing a nice wee cup of tea can't fix.

...

CROWLEY: It's what she does. Find someone with power...cozies up...digs the claws in. [As he’s talking, Crowley walks over to a cabinet, opens a door and takes out a bottle of Craig] CHUCK: Hmm. Yeah, well, I'm not helping anyone right now, obviously. She's been...nice. CROWLEY: For now.

Funny sidenote: As Rowena moves in on Chuck, getting sweet on him, she starts calling him "Charles," a little nugget for how she'll later call Sam "Samuel," and Cas, "Hello, Castiel."

///

Ahem. Anyway. The thing is, that yes, Rowena totally does this. We can't really blame her when we look at the tragic happenstances of her life. During the course of the series, we see her make numerous moves to gain favor will powerful beings:

SEASON 10

We see her volleying to make Crowley sit upon a stronger, more secure throne.

SEASON 11

We see her cozying up to Lucifer and getting killed for her trouble.

Next, we see her coming back from the dead to move in on Amara.

She's kind of playing both sides, but she gets sweet on Amara here: "Oh, I can be useful...And even if it is born out of my own self-interest, I-- I care about you. I'm someone you can talk with. Confide in. Have you... have you ever had that? Oh, you don't have to be (alone), darlin'!"

Then, as I mentioned above, she cozies up to Chuck, and Crowley snarls many a nasty word about her.

SEASON 12

We find Rowena trying to date rich men and lying about her background, painting herself as a posh, well-to-do ballerina.

In an abrupt about-face to insulting Cas (she called him a fish in season 10), we see that Rowena has flipped on her appraisal of him.

Now, Castiel is super hot. He's "the handsome, strong angel," an ideal partner/protector. So, she hits on him. A lot.

Despite her memory of "Cas's face" as Lucifer snapped her neck, her dogged attraction to Cas blooms sometime in season 12.

Perhaps, it's when she and Cas and Fergus are hunting Lucifer together.

(In the same time frame, Crowley is also hanging off Cas's arm, keeping him company, trying to be oddly "cutesy," singing in the car, etc. It's...hilarious. You get the mental picture of them both trying their hardest to get his attention.)

SEASON 13

Season 13 brings us her library tryst with Gabriel.

She says she's motivated by trying to heal his wounded virility/grace/pride, but it's at least partially about his status as an archangel.

And of course, there's security in Sam(uel), but it's all twisted up with him being her executioner, not just her protector.

But in being her "destiny," he also functions as her security. It's very complex. (And kinda sexy.)

SEASON 14

Rowena will hit on Cas as later as season 14's Ouroboros, saying his full name in a similar coo to how she says, "Charles and Samuel." -> "Hello, Castiel."

Castiel, for his part, tends to be a little flustered by her, straightening up and saying, "Hello," back.

SEASON 15

Finally, in season 15, somewhat hilariously, Rowena moves in on Arthur Ketch.

But it's a little different this time, reflecting a more confident, in-control, and emotionally integrated Rowena.

She seems to be genuinely interested in him for his wry, science-loving personality. They banter.

She and Ketch mutually harass Dean for details about the other, like schoolyard crushes.

They had a battle connection in the past, have fought together and helped one another re: resurrection spells, but it is only now that they’re healthy and healed that they can actually see each other.

Rowena throws Dean a breathless, thankful look when he saves Ketch (for her).

She’s reformed, Ketch is reformed. It’s heartbreaking just how excited she is about him. He instills a her hope in her, for the future. (But he won’t sell out his friends. He dies. She won’t let the world die, so she dies, too.)

///

But Crowley does the same friggin' thing, doesn't he? He is so her child, a tragic mini-Rowena, despite his efforts to look like a big, bad Hell-king. 💔

SEASON 5

When we meet him, we see him backing the Winchesters re:the Colt.

In his early appearance, he does this because he thinks Lucifer is going to wipe out demon-kind.

That gamble goes okay for Crowley, mostly.

SEASON 6

Sometime in this timeframe, he is given the role of Hell-king as a consolation prize, by Ramiel, prince of Hell, who honestly doesn't give a fuck.

In season 6, Crowley backs Castiel. Cas's got magnetism and sex appeal.

As the original "angel's angel" in Heaven, he's a strong frontrunner in Heaven's Civil War simply by popularity alone. So, Cas is the horse Crowley decides to bet on.

Then, Cas turns out to be duplicitous, cunning, and too devoted to his human family to be controlled. He’s way more than Crowley can handle.

There are glimmers of this power imbalance, when Cas on occasion has had enough of Crowley's innuendo-laden threats, like when Cas snaps and crushes him into a wall, for example. But on the whole, Crowley ignores this. It's his tragic hubris.

Eventually, Cas overwhelms him and seizes power, and the whole thing turns out to be a frightening blow to his position.

So, Crowley goes running to his brother Raphael, which is another bad gamble, as Castiel straight-up kills him, and Crowley is forced to flee and go into hiding.

SEASON 7-8

In seasons 7-8, Crowley vies for control of the prophet Kevin, torturing and killing those around him.

He makes sure to kill Meg, who is in his mind a Lucifer loyalist (she's actually a Castiel loyalist at this point, but the Lucifer label sticks).

SEASON 9

In season 9, Crowley arranges a series of events to allow him to dangle Dean to Cain in a bid to transform Dean and destroy Abbadon, the newest threat to his position.

(Crowley won't suggest taking the mark on his own; he won't risk his own neck.) Afterwards, he scoops Dean up, like spoils of war, a dark parallel to the pimp-demon in Girls, Girls, Girls (and Randy).

SEASON 10

In season 10, this bites him in the ass, too.

Demon Dean proves too much to handle, a liability on the job, as he refuses to perform the cold, capitalistic mercenary duties of Hell.

"The little prat’s bad for business. He’s uncontrollable. Must be the Mark."

In a scene similar to Cas crunching Crowley into a wall, Dean throws Crowley down. Demon Dean will not be cowed by Crowley, and he will not be a sidekick, little bitch, or Queen to be "controlled."

So, Crowley goes running to his brother, Sam. He “sells him out" to Sam.

And Crowley goes running to revive Castiel again, to deal with the problem-that-solved-his-original-Abbadon-problem.

And around and around Crowley goes.

Despite everything, Crowley softens to Dean. Crowley's a little bit human now, and it shows. As he softens, his mother appears, making things so much more complicated.

SEASON 11

Crowley tries to muster up the glory of his former evil self--he kills a bunch of swingers for no reason.

Then, Crowley sees a new opportunity to sway a powerful being, and we get Crowley unsuccessfully trying to mold Amara as his newest weapon of mass destruction.

Like with Demon Dean, he strikes fast to scoop her up when she's “vulnerable” and "new,” to get her under his sphere of influence.

Then, it goes badly, as this always does for Crowley. Amara breaks Uncle Crowley's arm and runs away.

In this season, Crowley goes to bat for Cas again, trying to detach him from Lucifer and screeching angrily at Cas as Lucifer beats Crowley up.

In fact, in that brief moment before Crowley even goes to bat, he's actually smiling at Dean and Cas as they reunite, as Dean says, “Cas, we don't have a whole lot of time, okay?"

Crowley is a softie. Cas is his kinda-friend, and Crowley wants Dean to be happy. Crowley's changed.

At the end of the season, we briefly see Crowley complaining about Rowena cozying up to Chuck, while he moves to cozy up to Billie. (Really, Crowley? Stop doing the thing that gets you burned, man.)

SEASON 12

Enter season 12, and Crowley works with his mom again. He and Rowena form an uneasy alliance, and both begin to see family in a slightly new light.

They trust each other a little more, and they hurt each other to try and solve their mutual pain re: Oskar and Gavin.

Hilariously, they both start seeing Castiel in a new light this season. It's like, in watching his devotion and chivalry to his family, and as their understanding of family shifts, they've mutually decided that he's dependable and thus desireable. (The "blue-collar, family-oriented soldier.")

So yeah, season 12 finds Crowley cozying up to Castiel again in order to fight Lucfier--with Crowley being overly friendly and flirty and sing-song to the point that Cas just might bash his own head in.

(In this same timeframe, Rowena warms to Cas, so you have this implication that they're both hanging off his arms adoringly, and he is tired as fuck of dealing with them. I'm sure Cas's tendency to get a little flustered and sweet with Rowena is something that would drive Crowley insane on multiple levels.)

Crowley even risks his life for Cas against Vince!Lucifer. (He wants Cas to be his friend so badly in this era, oof.)

Then, he saves Cas against Ramiel, thanks in large part to his bond with Dean, and Dean thanks him for it.

Crowley, like Rowena, will take any form love. Any friendship. Any comradery. Even scraps. They've got the same neurosis.

Anyway, in season 12 we also have the team-up of the century, where Crowley works with his mother to send Lucifer back to the cage. Victory!

And Crowley has another fatal misstep. His last one ever, perhaps. He thinks, yet again, that he can outsmart another overpowered beast in order to buy his own security.

And so, he locks Lucifer in Nick's body, Ma'lak box-like, and tries to out-bark and out-dominate him.

Horribly, Lucifer doesn't even appear that upset. Horribly, even when he's being humiliated, the demons under Crowley flock to Lucifer. (It's not fair!)

Lucifer even seems quietly amused, like he's waiting for his moment to strike, just as Cas behaved in season 6, quietly tolerating Crowley's goading because he was not actually threatened by him.

(Crowley is no Azazel or Dagon or Ramiel or even Asmodeus.)

And it's fatal. It goes badly. Crowley's gleeful crowing of brains-versus-brawn blows up in his face.

He escapes by the skin of his teeth, and goes running, tail tucked, to tell the Winchesters what he's wrought.

Sam and Dean are horrified, realizing that Jack, Kelly, and Cas are in danger, and so they speed towards them in hopes of warning them in time.

Crowley seems a little hysterical and fatalistic, deciding to back the Winchesters one last time, because, "life is meaningless," and "what's the point of it all."

Crowley lost everything for a job he hated, so he commits suicide, because he's tired and worn down.

He has become like Raphael, "we just want it to be over."

Crowley falls to nihilism.

And Rowena despairs. 💔💔💔

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(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)

#i really do love rowena and crowley #trying to write about their specific hangups more as it relates to power and safety and class #i find the most fascinating thing about them to be their bids for power and security and their continued failures against the ruling elite #and how they consistently bite off more than they can chew #tragic #spn + class #spn + class mobility #rowena + class #crowley + career #spn vs nihilism #fergus & rowena #crowley & rowena #macleods as eternal outsiders #i won't bring metatron into this one but know that i am also thinking of metatron and sam in relation to this topic - i always am

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vizthedatum · 2 months

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If this all sounds nihilistic, please, don't get the wrong idea. This book is not an argument for nihilism. It is one against nihilism -- both the nihilism within us and the growing sense of nihilism that seems to emerge with the modern world. And to successfully argue against nihilism, you must start at nihilism. You must start at the Uncomfortable Truth. From there, you must slowly build a convincing case for hope. And not just any hope, but a sustainable, benevolent form of hope. A hope that can bring us together rather than tear us apart. A hope that is robust and powerful yet still grounded in reason and reality. A hope that can carry us to the end of our days with a sense of gratitude and satisfaction.

Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope by Mark Manson

#Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope #everything is fucked #mark manson #hope #nihilism #argument against nihilism

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psalmsofpsychosis · 8 months

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found this little cute tidbit on Facebook today, and i'm in some kinda mood so i'm gonna be brutal for a moment before we go back to our daily scheduled fun times:

times are changing, but they have been changing for a long while now; in fact, they have been changing since the beginning of time. Reality is not a *presently unfolding* collective collapse; it's that and the seaside turtles coming back from the brink of exctinction in higher numbers than ever and your grandmother growing her best three indoor tomatoes this year and also everyday things, like taking a walk and resting besides a tree for 10 minutes. Reality is not the dawn of horrors, and you're not an adult for thinking like that; or let me put it more concisely— you're the most useless form of adult if you succomb to comfortable cynicism and nihilism and ease your journey through life by grossly simplifying all of it to hopelessness and misery and terrible 8pm news on TV.

Because if there's one thing, it's that hope requires courage. A comfortable person goes from all out optimism to all out pessimism, never taking a moment to stop along the road to marvel at the flowers that bloom from the heart of stone ground anyway. We're living in trying times, but so have our loved ones 5 years ago, and their loved ones 50 years ago, and their loved ones' loved ones 500 years ago. You've never been alone in going through hell, and you're not alone in having the capacity to do whatever you can, in your own way. We have always been courageos; there was no other way to be. It was never about being strong or being in denial, it was about grieving what we cannot be and cannot do, and then holding on to our hearts and doing what we can do anyway.

So i need you all to understand that adulthood is not habits and it's not misery; it's the courage to hope. And it happens not in the absence of misery, but despite it. And i believe we can still be courageous in however little ways we can. ❤️

#It's absolutely okay if you cannot afford to be brave right now #take some time off #grief for what is hurting you deeply #you have every right to.#but know that you can choose hope; you have to. there's no other way to be #you're dead the moment you do not choose hope #and i'm very tired of people who frame the doom party in their heads in pretty words as if it's the only way to be #you're not brave for choosing nihilism; it frees you of any true will to fight and allows you to rot in your familiar and known misery #and hope is scary and it is the unknown and it is heartbreaking and it makes you feel alive; it reminds you're not fucking done yet #and it reminds you to be brave; in small ways and in big ways #anyway; you are a star / dont go gently into the night #rage against the dying of the light ❤️#hopepunk

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chaotic-autumn · 1 year

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i just started scrolling through the 4am thoughts tag and had a moment of euphoria about how weird and wonderful human existence can be

ppl rly will accidentally keep themselves awake bc they get too excited about their own ideas and they're too good to forget them so they gotta wake themselves up MORE by writing them down. nerds.

#i had no idea what most of the posts were about but i just loved the energy #for a rainy day #4am thoughts #4am feelings #how to person #against nihilism #chaotic textpost

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hotmothsummer · 1 year

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Just remembered that during my TMA days I had the golden idea of putting s1 Jonathan Sims next to a middle school child and watching things explode, and well.

There was a child in the archives. And she was being deeply annoying about it.

“Wow. You do a lot of boring adult stuff here. I didn’t think it was possible for you to get even more boring and adult-ish.” The menace sat on the spare chair, kicking her legs against the old wood and scanning the room with a bored expression on her face.

Ignoring the inconspicuous snickers from Tim and the amusement radiating from Sasha, Jon took a deep swig from his mug, wishing it was something a bit stronger than tea.

“Ana,” He rubbed his temples. “What on earth are you doing here?”

“Visiting you.” She chirped.

“Why?”

“Got bored. And you’re always talking about your dumb Archive job.” She poked at the stacks of papers on the box beside her chair. “What’s all this?”

“How did you get here?”

“Tube. I have legs, Jonathan.”

Tim delightedly mouthed, ‘Jonathan’ in Sasha’s direction. Her smile was slowly growing bigger.

“Don’t you have- school? What would your mum say, does she know you’re here?” She paid no mind to his questions, just kept shuffling through the papers in her hands. Jon sighed. “Can you put those down, please.”

Sending him an acerbic look, she dropped the papers, letting them flutter about to the floor. Jon felt his overall willpower for the day wane significantly.

“School’s boring. What, are you gonna tell? Gonna be a narc about it?” Her tone, like everything else about her, was angled toward mocking him, specifically.

“Ana.” He said, pulling upon as much patience as he physically could. “You cannot just leave school to come and -bother me.”

#moth talks #it would be funny #it was in response to the fics I saw where Jon had a child during the events of canon and I was like #okay this is fine this is good this is innovative #but picture the sarcasm and juvenile nihilism of a 12 year old up against Jonathan sims #tell me that wouldn’t be great #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #tma #tma fic

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ms-hells-bells · 1 year

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boooooo cosmic skeptic is no longer vegan. the only reason that would be logical for him would be if he's fallen into nihilism and individualism.

edit: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS LMAO. nothing convinced him that veganism wasn't the morally correct choice, he literally just went 'it's too hard and i'm just one individual'. fucking double booo, how do you make money off of and have your platform be about moral consistency, but then just go 'yeah, i'm a hypocrite, but i just want the easy path'?

#he has literally argued AGAINST those arguments previously #so it is absolutely moral nihilism and laziness

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