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#added that tag in later because this is now a series!
koushirouizumi · 4 months
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Katekyō Hitman Reborn! + Ep. #180 ~ Yamamoto & Tsuna {YamaTsuna} / 8027 + Moments & Interactions + Important Dialogues {Anime Ver.} + Character Development Parallels - Tsuna's Character Development{s}
"I put unnecessary 'Pressure' on you without realizing it..." - Tsuna, Initially
{"...I want you to stop."} - Tsuna, Later
Happy belated Birthday, Yamamoto! {Apr. 24th}
{Gifs by Me} {Do Not Re-post} {Do Not Re-produce Without My Permission} (Please ASK to Use)
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#koushirouizumi khr#koushirouizumi khr cap#koushirouizumi tsuna#koushirouizumi 80x27#8027#yamatsuna#c: tsunayoshi#c: takeshi#c: hayato#khr: primo guardians arc#khr spoilers#(Just 80x27 Things)#({oK BUT} Lead in to Later Moments in Full)#(HI THESE CONCEPTS WERE G O O D)#(HI I NEED MORE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT + SELF A W A R E N E S S LIKE THIS IN S H O N E N SERIES *IN GENERAL*)#(Tsuna makes up for it later by c LARIFYING Too)#(Im honestly almost m AD this concept between them ISNT 'main' c ANON BC IT S H O U L D B E hHHHH)#(MORE ON THAT LATER T h o)#(Hi was it REALLY n ECESSARY to make {Takeshi} sound B r o k e n Voice'd while Watery e YES MULTIPLE TIMES BETWEEN BOTH This Sequence)#({Hayato} ofc gets pissed and is like 'k NOCK IT OFF I KNOW YOURE BETTER THAN THIS WHATS *WITH* YOU')#(&NEGL when I first watched like *2k10!!!* I had wondered if theyd Go There with Ch05 referring to BUT Yeah I Was Let Down in that regard)#(They Sure Did Get The Feeling of Ch05 {Takeshi} Down Here Though It Felt Like)#(Also {Takeshi} With The D r a m a t i c w INDOW SeatTM View)#(Tsuna WAS VERY GOOD STILL THOUGH in these eps and to this day I Long For More Like This From S h o n e n)#(Because this was TSUNA Trying to Give {TAKESHI} AN ***O U T***)#(TSUNA WANTED TO GENUINELY LET {TAKESHI} KNOW THAT TAKESHI COULD S T O P W V O N G O L A IF *TAKESHI WANTED*)#(*AND TAKESHI DECIDES TO CONTINUE f OLLOWING + P R O T E C T TSUNA a NYWAY* ALL BECAUSE OF SUCH MOMENTS BETWEEN THEM)#(LIKE YES ITS S H O N E N THATS THE GIST BUT ITS A GREAT DYNAMIC ID LIKE MORE OF IN SOME FORM SOMEDAY THANKYOU)#(HI THIS SET NOW RBABLE BUT PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I Have Blogrules That Should Be Followed I AM NEW TO K.H.R TAGS p OSTING PLS R E G A R D)#(I AM NOT New to K.H.R as a whole and actively followed m a n g a while it released in J.P.N until End but PLS BE KIND ON THIS THANKYOU)
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amakumos · 3 months
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MEET ME IN MONTE CARLO. — jake sim. (teaser)
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SYNOPSIS. As a Formula 1 driver, being competitive is just in Ferrari driver Jake Sim's blood. Perhaps Jake cares about winning too much though, because during his conquest for the world title, he loses you. It isn't until 2 years later when you show up at the Monaco Grand Prix with his main rival, Red Bull driver Park Sunghoon, when Jake finds himself determined to not only fight for the championship, but also to fight for you.
GENRE. fluff, angst, exes to enemies (one-sided ish) to lovers
PAIRING. formula 1 driver! jake x fem! reader
WARNINGS. none in the teaser. in the fic, cursing, mentions of car crashes and accidents
ESTIMATED RELEASE DATE. late march, early april
WORD COUNT. 20k ish, teaser is 883 words
AUTHOR'S NOTE. well... this will be my second to last fic for the meantime! i'm excited to drop this one. i've been working on it for quite a while now. here's a formula 1 fic starring our very own jake sim :) i hope you enjoy this little teaser, and the taglist is open so just pop in an ask if you'd like to be tagged when i post this <3
TAGLIST IS OPEN, send in an ask if you’d like to be added!
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You were the first person that Jake Sim ever loved. You were there at his first Formula 1 race, you were there at his first race win, and you were there for his first world title win. A series of firsts. 
But, Jake Sim has first breakup on the list as well. 
He always regrets how things ended between you two – it was messy, it was awful, and it left him crying at 3 in the morning in his apartment. 
Jake isn’t certain about many things in his life. But what Jake is 100% certain of, is that the breakup was all his fault.
You had screamed at him, and he knew that he deserved it. You were slowly slipping away from his grasp, and Jake allowed that to happen as he chased another world title so desperately. So desperately to the point that he would end up neglecting you. 
Forgotten dates, forgotten anniversaries, and forgotten birthdays. Text messages would be left unread for days when he was in some other unfamiliar city, as you walked to your lectures with a heavy heart and the stream of his race playing in the back of your phone as you waited for a response. You wore red every time he had a race, for Ferrari, for him, even as your relationship was crumbling. 
“I’m sorry,” he had choked out. “It is difficult.” 
You looked at him with bloodshot eyes and shaking fists. “It is. And you’re chasing your dreams, but… I can’t be with you if it’s like this. The past few months have been like we weren’t even dating in the first place.” 
Jake gulps. “I know. I’m sorry.” 
“I want to try,” you had said with an exasperated sigh, and Jake knows that you’re tired. He’s going at maximum speed, and you’re left trailing behind him. He’s so far ahead, and you know you’ve lost all hope of catching up. But you say those words anyway. “Please tell me you’ll try.” 
Jake doesn’t say a word. Because he knows that he won’t be able to. He wants to say yes, so badly. He wants to hug you, he wants to kiss you, and he wants to commit. Just as he commits to his races, to the championship, to Ferrari. 
But he can’t. Not a single word leaves his lips, and his silence is enough of an answer for you. “Oh,” you say, and Jake doesn’t miss the way your voice quivers, and your lower lip trembles. You’re dressed in red, Ferrari’s colour – his colour. “Okay.” 
“I’m sorry.” he told you. 
“It’s important to you.” you pressed your lips together in a thin line. “I understand.”
You say that, but Jake knows that you don’t. He knows nobody would ever be able to understand choosing to win over choosing someone you love. But Jake is committed to racing. He is committed to win. 
Yet, he’s not committed to you. The one who’s been with him through thick and thin, the one who’d catch red-eye flights to find him in some unfamiliar city to watch him win, the one who’d go through hell and back for him if it meant that he’d be happy. 
He can’t do the same for you, and he hates that. 
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, and you simply shook your head. You don’t have anything more to say to him, so you quietly pack your things. “I’m sorry.” 
Before you opened the door to leave, you took one last look at Jake. “I hope you figure out whatever’s going on in your life.” You don’t say anything more, and that is the last time Jake Sim ever sees you again. 
He doesn’t know what you’re doing either, because you’d deleted your Instagram account, starting a new one where none of his fans could keep up to date with you. The only way he knows how you’re doing is updates from Heeseung's girlfriend Yoona, who goes on trips with you often. He sees his fans constantly wondering if you’re doing well, and Jake finds it funny how he’s got the same exact question.
He drowns himself further in training, in racing, in wanting to become the best after the split. He wins, he wins, and he wins again – and that feeling of euphoria when he stands on the podium never leaves. It fills him with a joy like no other, and it reminds Jake why he does this. He wants to win. He wants to be the best – no, he is the best. 
Winning means the world to Jake Sim. Racing is in his blood – he does it to hear the crowds scream his name, he does it to lift that trophy on the top step of the podium, and he does it to feel the overwhelming pride in his chest when he crosses that chequered flag first. 
But he’s been so focused on winning, and he’s lost his everything. 
His everything is the girl who went to his first race. His everything is the girl who would tire herself by studying during the day, and catching long flights to the cities where he’d race in to support him. 
And his everything had left him 2 years ago in his apartment in Monte Carlo, Monaco, with teary eyes and a red dress. 
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toji-girl · 3 months
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obsessed | t. fushiguro
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synopsis: You were super grateful that you could buy off your landlord with your used panties when late on rent until he wants more than just the discarded fabric.
wc: 1.9k
tags: 18+ ONLY content + explicit smut: minors and empty blogs DNI + fem reader + dark content + repost from my old blog + not beta read + pervy! Toji + male masturbation + teasing + nipple play + dirty talking + degradation both receiving + unprotected sex + backshot + dry humping + switch you and Toji + pussy job + cum play + impact play + maybe femdom? I don’t know but adding in case + dubcon in the end but I promise you do want it + any missing tag lmk! + feedback such as comments and reblogs are helpful
AN: I almost want to make a few parts to this...like a series?
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Another plastic ziplock bag full of your used underwear was placed at Toji’s door, thankfully you always disguised it to look like a regular package, however, no one knew in the apartment building that you had to pay your rent with your panties.
You looked around and made sure no one was looking as you went back to your apartment feeling your skin crawl with disgust at yourself liking the fact that he was going to jerk off with them later.
Your landlord was incredibly attractive, and that’s something you couldn’t deny as much as you wanted to, it was impossible, the way he fills out those t-shirts makes you shiver wondering what he looked like naked?
That stupid smirk he always wore when he saw you only got wider whenever he saw you around the apartment. 
“I didn’t receive my payment, where are my panties?” He asked leaning against the other mailboxes catching you one morning, he looked bigger in the cramped area of the boxes lining the walls, which in turn only made you feel much smaller.
You flipped through the useless papers before looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. 
“You mean my panties? Are you wearing them? I was going to gather them up before my shift at work, and I gave you two extra pairs last week. Why are you asking for more?” You asked clearly annoyed.
Toji stayed silent with that famous smirk, the scar lifting up when he leaned into where you could smell the minty gum he chewed on earlier, his lips almost brushing against the shell of your ear.
“We made a deal, and I expect you to keep up on it. Yeah?” His hand coming down to play with your skirt. 
“It was only supposed to be for a bit, not this long. Why don’t you go bug some of the other tenants?” 
He hummed like he was thinking about it before shaking his head. “They’re all paid up, plus none of them are as pretty as you are.” 
His finger came up grazing your neck making you almost squeak, because dammit, it was hot the way he made you feel this way, his large palm was bigger than your face, and you shrank back looking at him feeling warmth crawl between your legs and up your neck. 
You watched him frowning trying to throw him off, the last thing you needed was for him to know you enjoyed this, gripping the envelopes in your hand knowing you’d be a little late to work but if he wanted your panties, you were going to give them to him and maybe this would be the last time, what was only supposed to be for two months at max has now stretched into six. 
Almost everyone could hear you stomping up the stairs to your door where you pushed it open heading straight for your bedroom, as much as you hated to admit it, knowing Toji was a little pervert like this and only for you set a switch off in your head because you were perverted like him.
You formulated a plan quickly while setting your last pair by his doorstep before heading to work. 
It didn’t take long for Toji to come knocking on your door later the next night, he was needy for you, and it sucked that he had to depend on you to get his orgasm. He rapped his knuckles against your door waiting for you to answer and when you did his dick throbbed harder between thick thighs. 
You wore a see-through robe, and a sultry pink laced set that complimented your skin and body, Toji whistled through his teeth stepping inside your apartment unknowingly setting the trap and kicking the door shut behind him. “Wow, is this how you greet all your guests?” He asked tugging on the bow you tied in front. 
“Only certain ones, but tonight was meant for a special someone, a date if you must. I have your last package.” You told him seeing the immediate look of disdain on his face, then jealousy made his lips pucker almost as he slid his hands in his pockets. 
You turned to head to your room feeling him grab your wrist gently before you were pulled into him. “A date? I don’t think he could easily please you, someone of your caliber.” 
“My caliber? What do you mean by that?” You asked genuinely curious letting his hands caress your back and hips and waist lifting your robe up to snap the band of your panties. 
He chuckled pressing his lips against the shell of your ear making you shiver. “Someone who pretends not to like my teasing, putting up a bitchy front knowing that you’re a pervert, just like me.” He nibbled on your lobe making you curl your fingers in his shirt gasping softly. 
His hand now sliding down your back to squeeze your ass before playing with your thong pulling it between the globes more and kicking your legs apart with his foot letting you staddle his thigh pretty much at this angle, Toji took his sweet time in feeling you up letting you dry hump him now. 
“I am not a pervert, I don’t get off on by sniffing panties.” You told him grinding on his thigh and reaching your hand down to cup his bulge with a slight moan, because again dammit, you were now letting him do whatever it was as you gave him the same treatment sliding your hand in his boxers. 
Toji groaned as you stroked him before pulling your hand out and pushed him onto your couch, he landed with a soft thud spreading his legs and putting both arms behind it watching you slowly remove your robe and letting it pool around your ankles. “This will be our thing, no more panties.” 
He nodded not really believing you, there was no way you were going to leave him alone after this, just as much as he’s obsessed with you he can tell you want him just as bad, so he watched you slowly strip moving your hips until you were naked with your panties balled up in your hand as you lowered down until you were sat in Toji’s lap. 
His hands landed on your hips squeezing them between thick fingers and leaning in to kiss your breasts, Toji wrapped his lips around your nipple sucking it in his hot mouth letting you rub your bare pussy against his jeans before you were tugging on his belt and unbuttoning his pants. 
“Such a slut for cock, aren’t you?” He teased squeezing your tits and pushing them together kissing the spilling flesh from his thick fingers, his tongue laved every inch almost as you rutted against him moaning and panting while trying to pull his dick free. 
It was adorable how quickly he fell for it, all he needed to think was he was going to get his dick wet, and in a way, he was but not the way he originally thought. You grinned down at him prying his mouth open with your fingers hooked in the corner of his lips. 
You shoved the lacy thong into his mouth. “Such a slut for my panties, aren’t you?” You sneered down at him running your fingers through his hair, you panted due to the temperature in the living room and the work you put into rubbing your pretty cunt against his dick. 
Toji wanted to feel you hot and tight around him but you were in control this way, keeping his cock pressed flush against the lips of your pussy now rubbing up and down looking at him. 
“You really can’t help yourself. A dirty boy who gets off on jerking off with used panties? You’re so disgusting.” 
His eyes went cross at your filthy words, usually, when people get called stuff like that they’d shrink away and even tear up, but no, Toji just proved you right nodding his head and sucking on your underwear like a pussy drunk frat boy who’s felt a cunt for the first time. 
You could feel the tip of his cock press against your hole and as much as you wanted the relief of him fucking you, because you knew it would be big and you weren’t proven wrong it wasn’t time to throw your own plan overboard so instead you just continued to give him a pussy job. 
His fingers dug into your hips helping you come so close to his own release watching you wither on top of him as you held his shoulders shuddering feeling your pussy throb wanting to suck him in, instead you pulled your panties from his mouth letting them fall down to his lap. 
“There’s your final payment, now I don’t want to see you again asking for them.” You told him watching him pant and lean back shaking his head with that infamous smirk. 
He grabbed your panties stuffing them in his pocket and looking at you. “I won’t be the one asking for anything, you’re going to be the one coming to me when you need to be dicked down, I saw that look in your eyes. You wanted to fuck me.” 
You tugged on your robe glaring at the older man rolling your eyes. “If I did then I would have, I don’t need you-” 
Whatever else you were going to say before you were bent over the arm of your couch, you could feel Toji resting his cock on your ass before rutting against you holding your hips and aiming himself at your fluttering hole pushing in and you pushed back letting him.
Your feet slid against the carpet as he buried himself deep, all the way to the hilt with a long drawn-out moan, your name melted off his tongue like butter in a pan as he spanked your ass gently, his hand going downward in motion. “So much talk for someone who just takes dick easily like this, I just slid inside this cute pussy of yours." 
The flesh of your ass stung slightly but it only melted into pleasure that buzzed feeling him split you open on him, his dick thick and long made your toes curl then he rubbed fast circles on your clit grinning down at you grinding yourself against him like a dog in heat. 
You hated yourself for wanting him to fuck you like this, and you hated it more that he was right. 
“You have a small dick!” You hurled the insult at him while panting gripping the couch for dear life. 
Toji smirked and threw his head back howling with laughter as he picked up the pace angling his knees to go deeper, his leaky tip kissing your cervix in this position. “Yeah? Then why the fuck are you panting and mewling like a bitch in heat?” 
You hate him, the way he was able to make you feel and how you enjoyed it, the way his hands roamed all over your body squeezing and groping as he fucked you hard and fast from behind, his balls swinging as he put one foot on the arm of the couch holding your hips now. 
It was brutal the way he bullied your cunt, not with any care in the world as you arched your back moaning his name begging to cum again which only made him chuckle as he felt his own rise up, he pulled out jerking himself off using your slick as a lube to cum on your back. 
He panted and rubbed it on your skin as if it were lotion while he watched you sag on your couch, your legs almost giving out as he petted your back with a smirk. “You look good covered in my cum, I’ll see you later I’m sure.” He said with a grin patting your ass. 
After you heard your door click shut did you realize that maybe, Toji was right, you’d be crawling back to him. 
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starryevermore · 4 months
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the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au
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the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his. (AO3) (pinterest board)
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series warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later 
TOTAL WORD COUNT (up to this point): 43,728
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i DO NOT consent to my works being reposted, translated, or published on any third party site or app. if you see my work posted on any platform that is not my tumblr, my wattpad (starryevermore), or my ao3 (illiterate), it has been stolen and reposted without my permission.  
reblogs and feedback encouraged. 
my blog is strictly 18+. by clicking on the links or read more, you are agreeing that you are an adult. any minors found interacting with my blog will be blocked. 
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chapter one
your parents are convinced that you will marry the king by the end of the social season. and so, too, it seems does coriolanus snow. 
chapter two
though you want nothing less than to marry coriolanus snow, he seems intent on finding you a reason to comply.
chapter three
coriolanus will make you fall in love with him one way or another. 
chapter four
you realize there is more to this than snow just wanting a bride.
chapter five
snow does not like the idea of others playing with his toy.
chapter six
now that he knows of sejanus’s interest in you, coriolanus can only think of how to keep you away from him. 
chapter seven
snow is pushing his luck with you, but you will not let his attempted slights go by. 
chapter eight
sejanus crosses a line.
chapter nine
he is in love.
chapter ten
coryo haunts your every moment.
chapter eleven
finally, coriolanus can call you his.
chapter twelve
you can’t believe that this is truly a good thing. 
chapter thirteen
coriolanus doesn’t understand why you've shut him out. 
chapter fourteen
you try to reconcile your feelings. (you fail.) 
chapter fifteen
you cannot seem to stay away. 
chapter sixteen
coriolanus gets to enjoy you.
chapter seventeen
finally, you enjoy your honeymoon. 
chapter eighteen
you say the words coriolanus is so desperate to hear. 
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bellarkeselection · 5 months
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Knew Better But Still Picked You
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Gif from @alphinias
Honestly I might turn this into a small series because this is the longest request I have ever written. Let me know if you want more parts 😁. Part two. Part three
Request From @loxleys-blog could i be added to the tag list for cole and a request of best friend of jackie who comes to visit her and moves there with her family and falls for cole and cole falls for her?
The car pulled to a stop outside the big Walter ranch household and I saw the front door fling open revealing my best friend from New York running straight for me. Getting out of the car I took my bag out and opened my arms for her. “Jackie Jack!”
“Y/n. I can’t believe you’re here!” She flung her arms around me and we stumbled when we finally embraced one another.
Jackie and I had become even closer than we were before after her family’s accident. The rest of her friends wouldn’t talk to her but I chose to keep our relationship the same. So I basically took the place of her sister Lucy. “Who’s your friend, New York?” I broke away from her seeing a young guy with green eyes and honey blonde hair.
“She’s my best friend from back home, Cole.” Jackie grumbled tugging on my arm trying to get me to leave with her.
Yet I wasn’t going to not introduce myself to him especially since he was really attractive. Walking over to the guy was sitting on a horse with light blonde hair like he had. “Hey there, I’m Y/n.” Leaning my arms on the wooden fence I sent him a grin.
He dismounted his horse and climbed over the fence shaking my hand with a cheeky grin. “Cole, Cole Walter. Have you ever been on a horse before?”
“Can’t say I have.” I replied to him.
His grin only grew. “Would you want to come riding with me?”
“No. No she wouldn’t actually. Because she’s coming to have ice cream with me and my friends. So we’re gonna be going now.” Jackie came rushing forward tugging on my arm and leading me back away from him. Whipping my head around watching Cole staring at us as we went to leave. I parted my lips, finding myself wanting to talk with him more. There was something intriguing about him I just couldn’t put my finger on.
A few hours later Jackie had me meet Skylar and Tara who she had met on her first day of school. We were sitting inside the ice cream shop where I took a big bite out of my strawberry cone hearing the store bell ring. My gaze shifted to the doorway recognizing Cole came through and he waved in my direction. “OMG. That is not a good idea at all.”
“What’s wrong, Tara?” I asked, finishing the bite I had in my mouth confused.
She sent me a raised brow. “You're getting involved with Cole Walter.”
“I’m not involved with him. I just met the guy today after I came in from the airport.” I told her to eat more of my cone.
Lifting my gaze upward Cole was ordering himself his own ice cream and the woman at the counter handed it over to him. Cole glanced my way and I felt my face turn red after I waved back to him without really thinking and Jackie hit my arm in warning. “Don’t go down that road, Y/n. Cole isn’t a good guy.”
“Why not?” I asked softly.
The three of them looked between one another and Skylar was the first to say something to my question. “He’s known to have a lot of hookups and not be up for a real relationship.”
“He sneaks them out of the house. I saw one the first morning I got to the Walter house. Alex can tell you more if that’s not enough of a warning for you.” Jackie explained putting a hand on my shoulder.
Shaking my head I still didn’t see why they were so afraid for me. I didn’t know anything about the guy but he seemed nice enough. “Okay don’t shoot me for asking this but what is the big deal of getting to know him. I’m not going to hook up with him.”
“That’s what most girls think and then he woos them with his charm…” Tara trailed off.
My best friend squeezed my shoulder and I met her concerned gaze. “I just don’t want you to get hurt because of him. You’re basically my chosen sister now.”
“He’s not gonna ever be interested in me Jackie and I’m not going to be interested in him.” I reassured her and we changed the conversation to something else for the rest of the time.
A few hours later after the crazy family dinner I was laying on my side of Jackie’s bed while she was doing some extra credit homework. Staring up at the ceiling I sighed clasping my hands together on my stomach. It definitely was different from the noisy city sirens and other things. Whereas here you could only hear the wind and all the other animal noises. I heard something slide underneath the closed bedroom door where I got up from the bed seeing it was a note. Folding it open the note read “Meet me on the porch if you want to see something cool - C”
Silently reading it to myself I contemplated on going or not eyeing my best friend while she worked silently. I didn’t suppose she would see if I was gone for a little bit. “Hey Jackie Jack, I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.”
“Okay. But use mine. Don’t use the one that everybody else does. Trust me.” She warned me turning back around in her desk chair.
Getting to my feet I snatched my boots out from underneath the bed and a green hoodie without her knowing. Then I headed down the stairs as quietly as I could possibly manage since it was almost midnight and most of the house was asleep. Reaching the front door I snuck through it, closing it gently then walked to the edge of the porch not seeing Cole anywhere. “Cole!” I called out still in a quiet voice.
“Over here, Y/n.” He responded by waving a flashlight from the barn door that he had opened. Rushing down the steps I ran towards the barn meeting up with him where he lowered the flashlight when we were standing in front of each other. “Was wondering if you were actually going to show up.”
Shrugging my shoulders I admitted slightly nervous of what he had planned in the middle of the night. “Gotta be honest I’ve never snuck out in the middle of the night like this. So what do you have in mind, Colorado?”
“I wanna show you something you don’t see in fancy New York.” He drew open a horse stall and walked out the horse he was on when we first met. “This is my horse.”
Taking a step forward I brushed a hand through its mane. “He’s beautiful.”
“Glad you like him cause we’re going to ride him to the spot I want to show you.” Cole responded by brushing his hand through his horse's mane touching my hand when he finished his sentence.
Tilting my head at the Walter boy I must have misheard him. “I’m sorry we’re doing what now?”
“We’re going to ride my horse together so I can show you a special spot.” Cole said again to me shutting the door with his foot holding out his freehand to help me step up on the box that was near where his horse was standing already saddled up. “Don’t worry city girl. I won’t make you ride alone until after I’ve shown you how to ride.”
Eyeing his hand extended to me I couldn’t help but hear Jackie and the others warming to not get involved with the Cole Effect. Yet I couldn’t deny I liked the thrill of butterflies he was giving me so I gave him my hand. “Just don’t let me fall off okay.” He nodded helping me throw one leg over and once I was settled he climbed on behind me.
“Hang on tight, Y/n.” He warned me, pressing his front closely to my back, making my face turn a shade of red as he kicked his horse in the gut and we raced from the barn to the open fields in the distance.
The wind blew through our hair and I hadn’t realized but I gripped Cole’s forearm since he was the one controlling the reins. Probably knowing I might scare the horse and then we’d be in trouble. He finally tugged the reins and slowly dismounted the horse helping me down. He had his horse lay down sitting down on the ground waiting for me. “Come on, sit down.” He patted the grass beside him.
“Okay.” I agree plopping down beside him looking around at the dark woods surrounding us. “So what did you want to show me?”
Cole moved his right hand forward tilting my chin upwards towards the sky. “This is what I wanted to show ya, Y/n.”
I gasped in awe seeing the sky dancing with a million stars above our heads. Blinking through some tears I couldn’t describe what it felt like to see something this bright. “This is incredibly beautiful…” The stars were so bright and even though we had some impressive light shows in New York none would compare to this.
“It’s not the only thing that’s beautiful. You surely can’t get that view in the city.” Cole mumbled, causing me to meet his green gaze.
I paused in my next words still confused as to why he was giving me his time and attention when he was labeled as the most popular boy in this town. “Cole, why did you ask me out here tonight? Not that I don’t appreciate it. I just…I don’t entirely understand why me?”
“I ain’t good with saying how I feel so sorry if this sounds stupid….I just instantly liked you for some reason.” He declares where I didn’t say a word with our gazes focusing in on one another.
Parting my lips I whispered out. “Liked me in what way, Cole?”
“In the way where we can…do this.” Cole whispered towards me before he made my breath catch in my throat seeing him leaning forward about to kiss me.
Half of my brain was telling me to not kiss him and remember the warning and the other half was saying he would be your first kiss and I couldn’t deny that I felt something for him even though all we had done was saying hello. I finally made up my mind and closed the gap the rest of the way kissing him. He responded by scooting closer to me and threading one hand through my hair trailing it down to the side of my cheek before I broke it needling air. “Cole….don’t find this dorky of me. But that…you were my first kiss.”
“I wouldn’t judge you for that. So what are you thinking now, Y/n.” He asked me to try to read my facial expressions but I was still in shock and bliss at the same time.
Hugging my knees to my chest I admitted sheepishly with my face turning red. “Jackie isn’t gonna be happy about this. She warned me to stay away from you….I knew better but I’m still choosing you.”
“Well I’m glad cause I’m picking you too, Y/n.” He draped an arm over my shoulder and I laid my head against his chest feeling my eyes getting heavy since I was getting sleepy. His gaze dropped to mine, tucking hair from my eyes. “Don’t worry about Jackie. You’ve got to live a little in life. Now let’s get you back before you fall asleep out here.”
We rode back to the house and I struggled to stay awake after getting off his horse so he decided to just carry me back bridal style upstairs. “Cole, this isn’t my room…she’ll be mad if I sleep in your room.” I trailed off in a sleepy tone laying my head still on his chest with him laying me down on one side of his bed.
He changed into some shorts to sleep in and crawled in the bed beside me feeling me scoot over to him laying my head back in the crook of his neck like it was minutes ago. “Sssh babe. I’ll take whatever Jackie feels tomorrow morning. Just get some rest.” My eyes fell closed and he dozed off shortly after in a peaceful night of sleep.
That was until the morning came and his bedroom door was flung open and I screamed hearing my best friend bursting into his room. “Y/n, I told you to stay away from him!…Well don’t you two have anything to say?” Rubbing my eyes Cole shifted, holding himself up on his elbow staring down at me silently, neither of us giving her an answer.
Comments really appreciated ❤️ Tag list - @cognacdelights
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bellaxgiornata · 7 months
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Seeking Forgiveness [Part Three]
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3k
[Full summary and installment list for this series can be found here.]
Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader
a/n: This one is entirely in Matt's POV and I'm curious to see how y'all react to his side of things! Feedback is always appreciated!
Tag List: @mattmurdocksstarlight @just-going-through-the-motions @paracosmic-murdock @yeonalie @auroraslibrary @1988-fiend @will-delete-this-later-probably@two-unbeatable-beaters @danzer8705 @ragamuffin285 @callmebrooklynbabes @spookyboogyuniverse @peachy-aisha @stevenknightmarc @nerdytreeflower @fucktthisworld @remuslupinwifee @kmc1989 @mywellspringoflife @thornbushrose @yarrystyleeza @shiorimakibawrites @thychuvaluswife @marvelcinematiquniverse @vallovesthedilfs @scoliobean @this--is--music
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The ear-splitting and repeated honking of car horns on the street below harshly woke Matt, the sound shrill and piercing first thing in the morning. Seconds later the continuing noise drew forth a pounding headache that reverberated painfully in his head. Gritting his teeth in frustration, he rolled onto his side with a groan, his entire body loudly protesting the movement. He could feel a few new bruises he'd added to the others already scattered around his body, the new ones violently throbbing along his lower back and his left shoulder as consciousness abruptly returned to him.
Matt had been out well into the early morning hours running around Hell’s Kitchen tracking a man by the name of Petrov. He was the man that Matt had recently come to learn was the current leader of the Russian mafia now settled in his city. All of last night he had been trying to figure out where the new shipment of drugs would be coming into Hell's Kitchen at, but he'd yet again come home without the information he'd wanted. In a sour mood, he'd taken his anger out on a mugger while returning to his apartment, leaving the man more battered than he probably should have. 
And his sour mood quickly returned when he realized he was alone in his bed again, the cold from the lack of you often curled under the sheets with him exceptionally noticeable this morning–more than it had been for the past few weeks. Because you had left him, deciding not to stay and wait for him to return the other night. Leaving him like everyone else always did, unable to accept that he and the Devil were the same man. That he needed to let that other side of himself out to protect Hell’s Kitchen.
He'd heard the way you'd slammed the door on your way out of his apartment that night. He knew how hurt and upset you’d been. But when you’d started crying because he had been planning to go out again, he'd wanted to comfort you– tried to–but you'd rejected him so easily instead. And that hurt him deeply. Because Matt had always thought you were different, that you understood him. That you loved him for who he was–you'd certainly always assured him that you did. 
But it sure as hell hadn’t felt like that to him the other night. Not with how quick you were to reject him and walk out on him. You’d never tried to reach out to him all of Friday, either. Whatever important thing you’d wanted to discuss with him the other night must’ve been what he’d initially suspected it to be. That you wanted to end the relationship. Truthfully he hadn’t wanted to hear you say the words out loud which was partially why he didn’t want to give you a chance to speak.
Matt knew he'd been canceling plans on you repeatedly, though he admittedly hadn't realized just for how long he'd been doing it with the way his days had been blurring together from his lack of proper sleep. But it hadn't been intentional. He hadn't meant to hurt you and he'd felt terrible every single time he had. It always nagged at him while he was out, the memory of the way your heart stuttered each and every time you saw him in his suit never far from his mind as he tried to focus on his late night task. 
And it wasn't like he was out cheating on you or ditching you for his friends. What he was doing was the equivalent of being needed at a job–because that's how he saw what he did. As a responsibility he had to the people of Hell’s Kitchen. He'd honestly thought he'd be able to make it up to you once he'd gotten the situation with the Russians under control, but apparently he wasn't important enough for you to wait for him. And sure, he had to admit that he'd been awful to you the other night with the way he'd spoken to you, but the judgment and rejection from you had really upset him, as did the fear of hearing you tell him you were done with him. So he'd closed himself off to you, hoping to lessen how much you leaving him would hurt.
But Matt didn’t want to think about that this morning. His head ached enough from all the physical exertion last night and from not getting enough sleep. Those damn cars honking had ruined whatever sleeping in he hoped he’d have this Saturday morning, the sound of the city far too loud for him to lay back down and fall asleep now. 
Though if you’d been here–
With a growl Matt tore the sheets off of himself, tossing his legs over the side of his bed and shoving all thoughts of you to the side. He didn’t want to think about you right now. He wanted coffee, desperately hoping that would wake him up and help the throbbing of his head.
Shuffling out of his bedroom, half limping in pain as he walked, he navigated his way through his living room and into the kitchen. He went straight for his coffee maker, turning it on and preparing a pot of coffee. He knew he was going to need a few cups already. 
As the coffee brewed, Matt leant his back against the kitchen counter. His eyes closed as he ran a hand over his tired face, aware that his apartment seemed noticeably quieter and lonelier without you here. He’d been noticing that for weeks now, and every time he did he felt his heart sink a bit in his chest. Though this morning he almost felt sick at the emptiness here, as if someone had punched him right in the gut when he realized you were never coming back.
But you’d made that choice, he reminded himself. You had walked out on him. That thought only had Matt grinding his teeth together, anger coursing through him.
You weren’t the woman he’d thought you were after all. And that hurt.
The coffee machine began to sputter out his coffee, the noise loud and irritating to his ears this morning. Matt turned around, reaching a hand up to grab a mug from the open shelf on the wall. But a round of knocks coming from his apartment door rang out and he hesitated, his hand hovering just before the row of coffee cups. Brows furrowing together, his head shifted over his shoulder as he wondered how he’d been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized someone had approached his door. Though after a few seconds he soon realized that it was Foggy standing in the hallway and flipping through some paperwork that he’d brought with him.
Matt’s hand dropped to his side and he turned, a frown settling on his lips as he made his way through his kitchen and down his entryway hall. He unlocked the door, briskly swinging it open. It didn’t escape his notice how Foggy had startled in the hall at the abruptness.
“Fog,” Matt greeted flatly.
He could practically feel the way his friend’s eyes scanned over him, the sound of Foggy’s face shifting into a frown not lost on Matt. He imagined the bruises were quite visible, especially since he hadn’t managed to put a shirt on.
“You look like shit, Matt,” Foggy stated bluntly. “How long were you out last night?”
Matt turned, leaving the door open as he half-limped, half-shuffled his way back down the entryway hall. He listened as Foggy stepped inside, closing the door after himself before slipping out of his shoes. By the time Foggy had followed Matt into the kitchen, Matt had already managed to pour himself a cup of coffee, drinking a sip of it black.
“You want some coffee?” Matt asked him, avoiding the initial question.
“No, I’m good,” Foggy answered slowly, resting his arms on the kitchen counter and leaning over it. “I had some earlier before I left to come deliver the documents I told you I was bringing over this morning. Which I’m guessing…you forgot about, judging by the fact that it looks like you just rolled out of a dumpster that you used for a bed.”
Matt’s lips pursed together at Foggy as he drew his mug back up to his mouth, his eyes narrowing in obvious irritation. “Not a morning for jokes, Fog.”
“Is there ever with you lately?” Foggy grumbled. 
Matt drank down more of his coffee, the throbbing of his head not helped by the way Foggy was drumming his fingers along the countertop. He could hear the way his friend was looking around his apartment, probably noticing the way it had looked neater than usual. Which was due to the fact that neither of you had been in his apartment much for the past few weeks. The moment he heard Foggy’s mouth open, inhaling that small bit of breath, Matt knew what he was going to say. And it wasn’t a subject he wanted to discuss.
“Where’s your other half?” Foggy asked, glancing back towards the closed bedroom door, entirely missing the way Matt had winced at the question. “Thought she usually spent the weekends with you. Is she still asleep?”
Matt ground his teeth together, roughly exhaling a sharp breath. He knew he’d ask about you.
“No, she’s not here,” Matt replied coldly.
He heard the way Foggy had stiffened against the counter at his words and the tone of his voice. Slowly, Foggy’s head turned back towards Matt. Matt’s lips thinned out in irritation, not liking the minute shift in Foggy’s posture.
“So the documents–”
“What’d you do, Matt?” Foggy asked sharply, cutting him off.
Matt’s hand gripped his coffee mug tighter in his fist, surprising even himself when it didn’t break in his grip. His jaw clenched at the question and the accusation from his best friend.
“What makes you think this was my fault?” he growled back, voice low and dangerous.
Foggy was nodding swiftly as if he’d known something had happened. He didn’t seem remotely affected by Matt’s obvious anger, clearly prepared to discuss this more. That only annoyed Matt further.
“So you two broke up? Karen and I thought as much with the way you’d been mopey and snippy around the office yesterday,” Foggy said. “What happened? Because one minute you’re telling me she’s the one, that she’s going to move in with you soon, and the next–” he waved a hand around the apartment, “–you’re a damn bachelor again. So what’d you do? Because I know damn well she didn’t end things, not with the way she always looked at you like the sun rises and falls out of your ass, Matt.”
“ She left me ,” Matt snarled back. “Why the hell is that so difficult for you to understand, Fog? Why must you always assume that I did something? Clearly she wasn’t who I thought she was because she couldn’t accept me and what I do. Who I am .”
“Ahh,” Foggy said, pushing off the counter. “This is because of Daredevil. I figured as much. So tell me what happened then, because I’m about to slap you upside the head and tell you you’re wrong.”
Matt stalked across the kitchen in aggravation, slamming his mug down onto the counter that separated him from Foggy. The hot liquid splashed over his hand as Foggy briefly jumped at his outburst. The faint scent of fear soon hitting his nose was what had Matt’s eyes snapping shut, aware he was getting too riled up at this topic. That his anger was finally starting to make Foggy nervous.
Because it was about you and it hurt.
“She said she had something she needed to tell me,” Matt replied through clenched teeth, trying to rein in his frustration and heartache. “But I needed to go out as Daredevil. I was planning to interrupt a meeting with the Russians. The ones I’d been telling you about.” He exhaled a sharp breath, his left hand clamping onto the kitchen counter as he continued, hoping to ground himself and control his rage. “She was upset that I was going out again when we’d had plans. Said she really needed to talk to me. So I told her she could tell me afterwards when I came back and she got upset.”
There was a brief silence following his explanation, Matt hearing the way Foggy’s head had shifted to the side.
“And you were…growly Devil when you were talking with her weren’t you?” Foggy asked, gesturing a hand at Matt. “Like you are now?”
Matt grunted, shame burning through him as his eyes once again fell shut. Yes. 
“Maybe,” he grumbled.
“Okay, so,” Foggy continued carefully, “if I’m understanding this right, you’ve been canceling plans on your girl for a while now and she’d been upset about that. And then she comes and says she really needs to talk to you, and you what? Bail on her again? Quite aggressively, I’m gathering?”
“That’s–that’s not exactly right,” Matt said, shaking his head. “I didn’t bail on her. The city needed me, Fog.”
“Sounds like she needed you more, buddy,” Foggy countered.
Matt’s eyes snapped open, his sightless gaze landing somewhere near Foggy in a glare. “I gave her the option to stay and wait for me to come back. To tell me what she needed to then. She chose to leave. I haven’t heard from her since, so I’m guessing her important talk was about her wanting to tell me that she wanted to end things. That she couldn’t handle me being Daredevil after all.”
Foggy scoffed, shaking his head at Matt. He could hear the way his friend’s mouth had yet again curved into a frown. Something like guilt twisted in Matt’s stomach at the way that night had played out but he quickly buried it under his anger and hurt. 
“Why do you do that?” Foggy asked softly.
“ What ?” Matt snapped.
“This,” Foggy answered, waving a hand frantically at Matt. “That self-sabotaging thing you do. Things were good with you both. Great, actually. You were happy , Matt. And then you go diving into your hero bullshit and push people away. Making assumptions about her wanting to end things like you know that’s exactly what she wanted to talk to you about.”
“I do not self-sabotage,” Matt shot back. 
“Then why’d you push her away?” Foggy countered.
“Because the city needs me!” Matt exclaimed in exasperation, throwing his hands on his hips. “You know that and she knew that!”
A glaring silence settled in Matt’s apartment after his loud outburst. Matt’s tongue slipped out, wetting his lips repeatedly in his agitation. He heard the very faint sigh Foggy emitted, even with the way his headache had worsened.
“I think you’re reading things entirely wrong, man,” Foggy said, tone softer. “I don’t think she was trying to break up with you. I think you fucked up. Big time. And judging by the way you’re incredibly defensive and angry, you really, really love her.”
Matt’s nostrils flared, his eyes still glaring sharply in the direction of his friend. Though a part of himself was beginning to wonder if maybe, just maybe, Foggy was onto something. At least, about him fucking up. He was still pretty certain you’d wanted to break up with him. Because he had been canceling plans on you for weeks now. And you’d been getting hurt by him doing that pretty quickly, too. And he’d noticed, but he kept on putting off making things up to you because he’d been too focused on prioritizing the Russians. He’d hurt you, too. Long before you’d hurt him.
That guilt and shame stirred in Matt’s stomach again, threatening to overtake his own rage and heartache. But he couldn’t have been wrong about what you’d wanted to talk to him about, right? Because what else could it possibly have been besides an ultimatum for him to quit being Daredevil and to choose you instead?
“I think,” Foggy continued slowly, “that you need to go call her up. Put your tail between your legs and go beg for her forgiveness, Matt. Because you fucked up, admit it. I can see that realization dawning on your face right now, buddy. Talk to her. Apologize on your goddamn knees every day until she takes you back. Because we both know she was the best damn thing that ever happened to you.”
“She was,” Matt whispered, his gaze dropping down to the floor. “She always was.”
“Then go get her!” Foggy exclaimed, slamming his fist onto Matt’s countertop. “Fix things!”
He stepped around the kitchen counter, reaching out to slap Matt good-naturedly on the shoulder. Matt winced at the gesture when Foggy’s hand landed on a bruise and Foggy quickly muttered out an apology. 
Rubbing his arm, Matt let out a sigh. “How am I supposed to fix things, Fog?” he asked. “What if she really doesn’t love the part of me that is Daredevil like she thought she did? I can’t give this up. I’m not going to.”
“There’s no way that bullshit is the reason,” Foggy told him. “Not with all the different ways she’s been there for you and your vigilante ass this whole time, Matt. She loves Daredevil just as much as you. But as for fixing things?” Foggy shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know, man. I think your first step is to reach out to her, though. Try to get her to talk to you. Apologize and maybe find out what it was she needed to tell you. Because I’m guessing knowing what that was will tell you how royally you fucked up here.”
“Yeah,” Matt said with a sigh. “You’re probably right. Though I have a feeling she’s not going to want to talk to me.”
“You just keep trying until she does,” Foggy told him. “And if all else fails, maybe you can romantically show up on her fire escape and profess your love to her or something?”
Matt scoffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, I’m sure Daredevil showing up on her fire escape would go over real well with her right now.”
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Ride or Die (Santiago “Pope” Garcia x fem!reader): Chapter One (of 11 - COMPLETED SERIES)
Series summary: Together, you and Santiago have been “soldiers” then “friends” then “lovers”; but will you ever figure out what comes next, especially when Santiago can’t (or won’t) stop running? 
Genres: a LOT of angst, some smut, best friends to… lovers?
Warnings: see collated series warnings here. Please note this series is NSFW / 18+ and minors or ageless blocks interacting will be blocked.
Series info: this is a COMPLETED SERIES. All chapters are written. Posting schedule is here. 
Author’s note: (If you read the original one-shot this slightly amended chapter will already be familiar to you, so I'm sorry for the initial lack of surprises. I promise though - there are many surprises from here!) Some of you may remember that this all started as an angsty smutty one shot, way back in 2020. Let’s just say, some of you really liked that story (thank you!) and a “part 2” was requested so that I could “fix” things for these two idiots (affectionate). Well, I guess part 2 took a while, because now it’s four years later, and I have written 87,000 words (ish). Oops. So, as you might infer through the accidental novel length spew, this series means rather a lot to me. It’s the longest piece of writing I have ever seen through to completion, and so, whilst it’s definitely not perfect, I am pretty proud of it! I hope with all of my little orange heart that you enjoy it, and if you do, any RBs, comments - or anything at all really - would mean the world. These two have lived in my head for four years and I will miss them, but I'm so excited to finally share them with you all! Honestly, I could say lots more, but for now I'll leave you with one more thought, which sums up this whole experience quite frankly: the characters made me do it. 
Finally, I have to thank you all, lovely pocket friends, for being so supportive and encouraging the whole way. It means so much to me! Especially, I GOTTA thank the fabulous @astroboots, who has hyped this project from literally before the beginning and been so encouraging, and @foxilayde, who is an incredible cheerleader for all my hare-brained endeavours. ILY!
Word count: 9.7k for this part (it’s broken down into 3 sections, if you prefer to read in stints!). 
Tag list info: will reblog separately tagging those on taglist. You can request to be added to the taglist if you are 18+ (or removed!). Send me an ask, please, so I can keep track :) 
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You love your squad. You really do. However, if you are being honest, it can be tough being treated as “one of the boys”. You know it’s a good thing that they don’t treat you any differently - but sometimes, you have to admit you want to be seen as a woman first and a soldier second. Especially on evenings like this when testosterone and drinks are flowing freely. Evenings when you have an ache in between your thighs that, in your case, calls out for a man. Okay - calls out for Santiago “Pope” Garcia, to be specific.
“I hope you can handle something stiff going down your throat,” you announce crudely to the group, arriving to whoops of appreciation as you slide the tray of hard liquor and beers on to the lofty bar table. 
The squad is celebrating a successful bust, and the relief and revelry in the air after the months-long operation is palpable.
“Cheers to that!” Frankie winks with a dumbass grin, rubbing his palms together with glee. “You’re a saviour – Pope’s taking far too long.” 
Will helpfully conveys the shots and beers around the table, glasses and bottles clinking and jovial smiles rippling through the group as a direct result. Ready for a cold one, you bring the rim of your beer to your lips for an immediate swig, condensation pooling on your fingers and making you realise how close the air is in this buzzing but dingy place.
“Bottoms-up, boys,” Tom directs as he passes you a shot, earning a good-natured side-eye from you. “And bottoms-eth up-eth, Mi’ Lady,” he adds, along with a regal hand wave to match his faux Olde English tone.
“To busts!” you ‘cheers’, clinking your glasses in the centre of the table. The innuendo earns a throaty, gruff chuckle from Frankie who bumps shoulders with you, inviting you to share in the camaraderie. You give-in with a broad smile, unable -as ever- to resist Frankie’s tittering. 
“Oh, hang on,” Frankie says, flitting quickly to a now unoccupied bar stool at an adjacent table (seats are in short supply tonight) and dragging it over to you.
“This for me, Catfish? How gallant.”
He grins. He knows you hate gallant. “It’s actually for Pope and his creaky knees… but you may as well make use of it while he’s pre-occupied,” Frankie chortles. You sit gratefully, your decision to wear heels after months in your beloved combat boots feeling like a definite mistake.
Speaking of mistakes...
“You fucking seeing this?” Tom asks, nodding his head over towards your squad mate, apparently simultaneously in awe of and amused by his current interaction at the bar; the very reason the drinks had been failing to materialise.
Twisting on your perch, you follow his gaze towards Santiago, eyes boring into the back of his head and his wash of grizzled curls. Involuntarily, your eyes trail over his form, the midnight blue button-down taut over his muscled shoulders as he casually props himself against the bar, jeans snug over that impossibly shapely rump. He has the barmaid rapt, eating out of his hand, all batting eyelashes and tongue slack in her mouth. Abandoned, a tray of shots sits unnoticed in front of Santiago as he lingers in conversation with her. All you can do is watch as, next, she leans over the bar brazenly, letting her thick, dark mane cascade across her ample, showcased cleavage. You can’t see Santiago’s expression as he -respectfully, you’re sure- admires her, but you can imagine it. 
Occasionally, you are on the receiving end of those expressions too.
Unfortunately, Santiago has a raw talent for making… connections. Besides off-shore bank managers and corrupt lawyers, that also inevitably extends to hook-ups. He is never short of distractions. Or, apparently, you never can hold his attention for long. When you do, though? When he does notice you, he makes you feel like you are the only woman in the world, his focus so intent and unrelenting you feel like he is viewing you through a sniper scope. Like the attention might end you.
You bristle thinking about his selective interest, the dull ache between your legs intensifying. 
“Never mind that deserter. Let’s celebrate without him,” you encourage to a ripple of agreement. You toss your shot back in-time with the boys and screw-up your face, shuddering in response as the spirit burns down your throat. You stick your tongue out with a “bleuch” as the aftertaste lingers.
However, your distraction doesn’t work for long, as your comrades seem determined to continue gossiping about the object of your desire.
“How does he do it?” Tom asks in disbelief, with more than a side of jealousy. He’d always given off the vibe of envying Santiago, you’d thought. “We’re all good-looking guys, man. But that little shit’s rolling in it.”
“I don’t know what it is. He’s not even tall,” Will snickers, knowing that Santiago hates being teased about his height. 
Frankie interjects. “MaybeFrankie interjects. “Maybe it’s the big dick energy.”
No comment. 
You’ve certainly never had any complaints about his stature. He is large enough to feel sturdy and surrounding, and small enough that you can take control of him when the mood strikes you. Oh, and you’ve certainly never had any qualms about his big dick energy… or his big dick for that matter.
Frankie chuckles again at the good-natured teasing and bumps you with his elbow. You are grateful for his easy, infectious laughter, acting like an umbrella against the moody, Santiago-shaped storm cloud which threatens above your head. 
“For real though,” Tom interjects, leaning forward over the table as if he’s sharing classified intel. “Has he been getting frisky with the informant again?” His eyes travel around the table, meeting each squad member’s gaze in turn. “I feel like he’s definitely got something going on there too. Tell me I’m seeing things.”
“Luci?” Will asks, then whistles in surprise at Tom’s accusation, his brows converging. You’re not sure if he’s surprised by Santiago’s potentially compromising choices, or impressed by his unparalleled ability to pull. “That sly dog.” Perhaps it’s a little of both.
You tense. Santiago getting involved with an informant. A beautiful informant. Sounds entirely plausible, although Santiago has neglected to tell you if it is true. Besides building connections, another skillset of Santiago’s is his uncanny aptitude for mixing business with pleasure. Realistically, he can do whatever the hell he wants with whomever he wants - it is no business of yours - but, in truth, you are tired. Tired of being the one he only picks up when he has no-one else. Tired of going unnoticed the rest of the time.
“Actually,” Frankie leans forward to drop this juicy titbit of gossip into the conversation. “Luci broke it off. Requested a new contact.” He taps the side of his nose as if to indicate that he has his sources too, trying to drum up some air of mystery. “Coincidence? I think not,” he adds, tipping his head towards the continued scene at the bar. 
You stiffen then in cold realisation. That’s why. That’s why he was noticing you earlier tonight. It wasn’t that he finally saw you. It wasn’t you in this dress. It wasn’t you. Yet again, he’d simply run out of distractions.
“Huh,” Tom says, looking a little too pleased with Santiago’s misfortune, swilling the dregs of his beer around absent-mindedly. “Well. He doesn’t seem devastated. It took him all of two minutes to get back on the horse.”
“Come on. You know Santi famously doesn’t get attached,” you snipe, partially serving the sentiment up as a reminder to yourself. 
Santiago does have a... reputation. Honestly, you have no problem with that. There is no shame in having casual sex, after all. So long as it is safe and consensual, what does it matter? You’ve even acted as Santi’s “wing-woman” on a number of occasions. It had never been a problem; that is… it hadn’t been a problem until he started having casual sex with you.
Santiago is loyal almost to a fault in many other areas of his life. He is abundantly loyal to you, and there is no doubt in your mind that Santiago sees you as a friend first. As a soldier second. You know he respects you deeply for your sharp-mind, your humour, your straight-talking, and your lethality in equal measure. And, you also know that Santiago desires you. Or, at least, he does when it suits him. When he is paying attention. These various roles never seem to converge, though. As a friend? You and Santiago go way back. As a soldier? You’ve been on his squad longer than anyone has, since decades before you all went freelance. As a lover, though? Well, that is new. And he can’t seem to reconcile this new role with the rest of the ways he knows you. 
Yes. Sure. Sometimes, Santiago desires the soft parts of you. Sees you as something other than a friend or a soldier. But you wish he would notice all of you, all at once. He sees you in fragments, like shrapnel. You wish he would piece things together. You wish he would notice you consistently. Not only when you’ve been out in the field too long, spending days bunched into hot and confined spaces, too close for comfort. Not only when hails of bullets send him reeling, searching for any kind of foothold on feeling alive. Still, over and over, you let him. You let him dip you back, with urgency - on to a mattress or a roll-mat or simply down on to the jungle floor - to thrust himself into you.
Santiago “Pope” Garcia is the man you crave. He gives it to you good. He makes you feel like a woman. Of course, there is no one particular way to be or to feel like a woman. There are infinite ways. For you though, very specifically, it is simple. It feels like Santiago desiring the soft parts of you which lay secreted under your tactical gear and your tough façade. It feels like him kissing you, soft lips and abrasive stubble. Strong hands and that muscled body writhing in a mess of breath and flesh. In those moments, you are a soldier least of all. Free of any mission, you become unadulterated; reckless abandon. You cease to be clipped and tactical, precise and lethal, and instead you become a soft, fluid thing beneath him.
Every time you arrive back in the city though, distractions abound. Santiago apparently ceases to desire you. Notice you. You had wrongly believed that tonight felt different. Something about the cool but heady night air. The way he was looking at you in this dress during your walk to the bar to meet the rest of the group. The way his hand lingered on your back as he guided you over to the table. But it mustn’t have been so. It must have been wishful thinking, that’s all.
You’ve done an increasing amount of wishful thinking, lately, it seems. 
Too much.
You sigh deeply. You don’t even realise you have zoned out from the group’s banter until Santiago arrives back with the tray of drinks -and no doubt one more phone number in his contacts- by which point, you are riled up enough to grab the shot of tequila right off the tray and down it without thinking, salt and lime be damned. 
“Woah, cariño. Feeling spirited tonight? Not wanna wait for the rest of us?” His smile is broad and easy and annoying as hell and suddenly you are adrift. 
“Nah, I’m done waiting, Santi,” you bite. He doesn’t catch the double-meaning in your words, because of course he doesn’t. Why would he?
Your skin flushes with instant heat as a result of his presence- definitely a recently acquired response. And so, you hastily dismiss your leather jacket, revealing a strappy, red, form-fitting dress beneath. Your appearance even earns a low whistle and murmur of approval from your buddies. 
“Someone’s gonna get lucky in that cute little number,” Frankie says pointedly, even as he’s staring curiously at Santiago staring at you. Maybe he’s on to you two. 
You smile, happy -as ever- to take a little flattery. Plus, you do find it hilarious to watch these guys squirm when they remember that you do, in fact, have a body concealed underneath all your tactical gear. 
“Well I won’t get lucky if you chumps keep staring down every man who looks at me,” you complain, already having clocked the defensive perimeter which has formed around you, simply from the way they have positioned themselves.  
The squad are protective of you, unnecessarily, and you simultaneously chide and love them for it.
“Big men protec’, chiquita,” Frankie teases, puffing out his biceps and chest like a gorilla. He says it knowing fine well you could take out any one of them if you wanted.
You hear the warm rumble of Santiago’s laugh next to you too, chiming in time with yours, his body closer than you’d realised as he dishes the remaining shots out. “Please!” he scoffs, casually slinging his arm around the back of your bar stool, the shot primed in his other hand. “You know damn well she doesn’t need protection!” 
“She’s gonna need protection when she gets laid,” Will quips, causing Tom to almost snort beer out of his nose in amusement and Frankie to high-five him from across the table. You would scold him but you’re laughing too, even as you roll your eyes good-naturedly at their ‘bro’ humour. 
You drop your head towards Santiago as the others continue snickering like a pack of hyenas, the alcohol clearly having gone to their heads already. That’s what they get for drinking on empty stomachs. You and Santiago’d had the foresight to hit up a first rate food truck on the route across town, like sensible people.
“Dance with me, Pope?” you ask, giving him a subtle yet seductive bat of your eyes.
“For the love of God, Pope. Leave some women for the rest of us,” Tom pleads -partially in jest, you’re sure- as Santiago curtly nods, not knowing quite what you’re up to but taking your hand anyway.
“Ok. I hear you. Let’s ditch these losers,” Santiago joshes, smiling as he gets a predictable rise out of his squad.
It isn’t so unusual for you two to dance together when you visit bars, so it doesn’t earn too much suspicion from the group (plus, you’re military - you two have been pretty damn good at hiding your hook-ups, covering your tracks). Dancing with you might undo the careful ground-work Santiago had laid with the barmaid just a moment ago, however. Even so, Santiago opts to follow you into the sweaty throng of people on the floor all the same, your fingers loosely twined with his as you lead him. You find a relatively private spot, away from the prying eyes of the squad, and come to a standstill. 
You turn into Santiago at the last available moment, meaning he ends up disconcertingly close. Almost chest-to-chest with you.
“Put your hands on me,” you command, a little more throaty than intended. You sling your arms around his shoulders, fingertips brushing at the buzzed hair at the nape of his neck. Santiago hesitates, but following a search of your eyes he plants his hands firmly onto the small of your back. You instantly feel the broadness and the warmth of him through the thin fabric of your dress. Those lethal hands. The hands that have pulled triggers and grenade clips. Choked the life out of assailants. Those lethal hands that have traced gently down your back as you laid bare beside him, killing you softly.
You let his hands rove over your body, wherever he wants to put them. Apparently, he wants to put them everywhere he can, like it’s a compulsion to touch you. He trails his hands up and down your back, ghosts them over the globes of your ass, snakes them down to the lip of your dress where his fingertips brush against your bare thighs, tacky with heat. And, after wandering, his hands come to rest low-slung on your hips, exactly where he likes to grab you when he thrusts into you. He gives you a subtle squeeze there, and the feel of him floods back to you. You are reminded of the way, when you’re with him, your own lethal hands are finally occupied by something other than battle. Of the times when you relinquish any preoccupation with victory, in favour of reaching perfect surrender. The times when your heart throbbing in your throat feels like safety instead of danger. 
His hands on you feel... natural. You move together symbiotically. Your bodies are always, easily in sync. On the battlefield, on the dance floor, in the bedroom. Always moving as a team. After so long side-by-side, it would be hard to exist in a manner to the contrary. It would be hard to exist without him at all. 
Will be hard. 
You let Santiago press against you as you sway together on the darkened dancefloor, gyrating and slinking your hips in time with the music. You feel him half-harden against you and his grip on your hips tightens, a feeble but gruff sound involuntarily escaping his lips and causing a coil to tighten in the pit of you. 
You think Santiago looks into your eyes meaningfully then. With something deep and unspeakable. Though that must simply be the wishful thinking you’ve become so practised at, and so, you immediately dismiss the thought, even as you nestle your mouth closer to his ear in order to speak. As your breath fans over the corded column of his neck you could swear he engorges further. And, the ache between your legs becomes almost unbearable at the spike of his cologne in your nostrils, his familiar scent curling within you. 
Santiago doesn’t smell like spice or musk or woodsmoke. Not to you. To you he smells like memories and possibilities - a heady paradox. Like your past and future. His scent inspires a quickening within you. Something under your skin is spurred into motion, tending toward collision. Yet at the same time, his scent curls in you and feels like… a stilling too. Like someone entirely arrived at a place so familiar that they forget ever having arrived at all and can’t imagine leaving. 
You dismiss it. You try. You fracture the moment. You must, before you collide. 
“I hear you’ve had some informant woes? I hope to God we got the intel.” You feel him tense instantly against you.
“Uh-huh. I got it.” Santiago‘s not really listening. Instead, he’s dropping his eyes to your body pressed up against his own, the heels of his hands now kneading into your hips. “You look good.” His voice is a husk in the shell of your ear as he leans into you, ensuring he can be heard over the music.
“Good for Luci, breaking it off though.” You dismiss his compliment, barely able to obscure the animosity in your tone despite all attempts to sound casual. 
He snaps back from you an inch or so, enough to look you directly in the eyes. You think that maybe, he looks almost disappointed. “Jealous?” he probes, ticking-up one eyebrow. 
He knows you far too well. Yet, despite his on-the-mark observation, the question makes you feel called-out and so, your next tack becomes unnecessarily cruel. Vengeful almost. “He’s getting there.” 
“What?” Santiago asks in evident confusion, his hands slipping back-up to the neutral area of your back as the mood slips away too. 
“The tall drink of water at 9 ‘o’ clock. Guy who’s been eyeing me all night. Doesn’t he look like he wants his hands on me instead of yours?” You know that you sound cruel, and petty, and the words feel bitter, like salt and lime in your mouth. You’ve said them all the same though. It’s already done. 
Santiago’s jaw clenches, eyes flicking subtly over as he rotates you to get a better look at your target. 
“He does,” he states, with a thin attempt at neutrality, his neck roped with tension as his eyes skim over the other man. 
“Great. Then thanks for the dance, Wingman. You’re relieved.”
Santiago puffs out air, his jaw clenching and eyes darkening. 
You tick an eyebrow up at him. “What’s wrong? You jealous, Santiago?”
Then, you saunter towards the bar, where the other man is stood. He very blatantly gives you the once over, evidently liking what he sees. You lean in with a flirty smile, letting the image of an aggrieved Santiago dissolve into the throng of people as you allow yourself to be entirely distracted. 
You are done waiting. 
You want to be noticed, and this handsome man in front of you is certainly providing you with his undivided attention. 
***
Later, Santiago watches you prepare to leave with the other man, disgruntled and forlorn. He’s watched you all night via snatched glances through the crowd. Watched the man laugh at your jokes, watched him work up the courage to brush your arm. He watched you eventually move in for the kiss, your eyes turning hungry as you pulled away, teeth biting down on that delicious, pillowy lip of yours. 
The bar having quietened down a little by now, Santiago sits in a booth opposite Tom and Frankie, Will having found his own company for the remainder of the night as well. Santiago’s head is propped on his elbow, a half-empty beer nestled in his other hand. His buddies’ eyes needle him as you toss a casual salute over to the table, your hook-up leading you out by the hand and your eyes shining gleefully. 
“What?” Santiago hisses defensively, as Frankie continues to stare knowingly at him from the opposite side of the table. 
Frankie’s head simply shakes in amusement. “Nothing. Only… when in the hell are you gonna figure out it’s her you really want, huh?”
“She’s just a friend,” Santiago bristles, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, hunching in on himself. 
“And a fuck-buddy,” Tom ventures.
Santiago looks down, taking a masking swig of his beer. “You know about that?”
“Didn’t until just now. But thanks a bunch for confirming,” Tom replies in a self-satisfied tone, earning a chuckle and a bump on the shoulder from Frankie. 
“Well… fuck.” Santiago sighs, his face becoming pinched. 
“I already knew,” Frankie states. “Christ. You’re loud enough, man. Hard to keep the secret that you’re nailing one of the squad when we’re camped out in, like, 3ft of jungle.”
Santiago absent-mindedly picks at the label on his bottle with his thumb. “Don’t talk about it like that, man. It’s not… Fuck.” 
Frankie just looks across at him in sympathy, Santiago’s reaction revealing more than he probably cared to about the true extent of his predicament. 
You’d risen through the ranks together. You’d been through a lot. Everyone on the squad knew Santiago was your ride or die and you his. You had each other’s backs. Had tended each other’s bullet wounds for Christ’s sake. Your friendship and the trust between you both -on the battlefield and off it- was deep and unshakeable.
“And you don’t want more than that?” Tom probes.
Despite being indoors, Santiago picks up his baseball cap from the seat and pulls it down over his eyes then, in an attempt to shield himself from this line of questioning. 
“What ‘else’ is there? There’s not much time for romance in between a hail of bullets.”
“Maybe.” Tom tips his head, contemplatively. “But you’re not getting any younger, Pope. How many years do your Goddamn knees have left in them?” He lets that one simmer for a moment, before nodding pointedly towards the door through which you had retreated. “You could do a lot worse, you know.”
“She could do a lot better,” Frankie interjects, earning a snigger from Tom and causing Santiago to huff, expression turning surly. Frankie holds his hands up defensively then. “Look, you do you, man. I’m just saying... I’m sure you’re having a great time getting your dick wet all over the continent… but if you don’t step up soon? You might regret it.”
Santiago whips his eyes towards his buddy, gaze interrogative and piercing. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing in particular,” Frankie shrugs, searching Santiago’s eyes with equal vigour. Santiago drops his gaze first, feeling exposed. 
Frankie kicks his buddy gently under the table. “Come on, hermano. Use your words. Share your feelings.” 
Frankie’s words may sound mildly taunting, as ever, but Santiago recognises the invitation to open up is genuine. He purses his lips, brows knitting together as he resists it, picking through his choice of words carefully before he allows them out of his mouth. He massages his palm over his roughened jaw and it rasps like sandpaper. “I don’t even know if she wants more.” 
“Are you kidding me, man?” Tom responds in amusement. “The guy who can get information out of a freakin’ stone, make any informant sing, ‘doesn’t know’ if she wants more? That’s what’s stopping you? A fucking intel issue?”
Frankie titters again, narrowing his eyes at Santiago and trying to figure him out. “He’s scared,” the man accuses, before his tone softens involuntarily. “That it?” 
Santiago takes an idle swig of his beer, polishing off the dregs before shrugging his jacket on, jaw twitching in irritation. 
“Oh shit, he’s moping! He’s moping now. Can’t handle the truth,” Tom mocks. 
“Come on, Santiago,” Frankie reasons. “We just want things to work out for you. You two are a good match- any chump can see that. Heh. Except maybe you.” 
Santiago doesn’t respond. Instead, he simply continues his silent preparations to leave, stuffing his wallet and keys into his jean pockets. 
“Plus- there are a bunch of reasons we’d like you off the market,” Tom teases. “More women for the rest of us. Golden opportunity to tease you for being so whipped.” Tom flashes a shit-eating grin up at his friend. 
Nodding gently, lips twisted in a pout and refusing to rise to it, Santiago tips his head towards his squad members. “Gentlemen,” he offers by way of farewell, before starting towards the door. 
“Want me to walk you home safe, chiquito?” Frankie calls.
“I’m not going home.” Santiago turns and gives the two men an affectionate middle finger before beelining toward the exit. 
“You’re not going over to her right now, are you? Pope? Santiago? That’s not what we... She’s gonna be pissed, man. Think this through!” Tom shouts after him, but it’s futile. Santiago has already swept out into the night, leaving Tom and Frankie to exchange helpless glances. 
There is a beat. 
Then: “I bet the bastard gets laid as well,” Frankie snorts. 
“Right?” Tom hums softly in agreement. “If anyone can turn up to a girl’s apartment while she’s banging another guy and still end up getting down? It’s that little shit, no word of a lie.”
There is a moment of silence as the pair sip their drinks and contemplate what Santiago has, precisely, which causes women to become so enamoured with him. 
“Maybe it’s his ass?” Tom offers, finally. 
Frankie clicks his fingers. “Ah. You’re probably right. That ass won’t quit.”
Meanwhile, Santiago steps out into the fresh air, the slight bite of it taking the edge off his alcohol buzz. 
His thoughts are overwhelmed with you. Have been overwhelmed with you. In truth, Santiago is finding it harder and harder to keep this up. Especially whenever it is just the two of you, he finds it harder and harder to resist you. 
It is typically easier in the city, where there are plenty of distractions. He is grateful for it - other people he can tangle with to take his mind off of you. In the city, it is easier to push that side of you out of his mind and to fall back into the clear-cut ways. The way it used to be before the lines had become blurred. Easier to compartmentalise his feelings for you. A friend first. A soldier second. A lover, only intermittently. 
Santiago was determined not to let everything bleed into one, because once those barriers, those delineations fell, he was convinced he would never be able to rebuild them. 
Most of all, he was convinced he wouldn’t want to. 
The thing is... the “distractions”? They never really worked for long. You are the only woman for him, in truth. And for all it might be crazy, he is headed towards your apartment right now to find out if you feel the same way. To find out if you want more. To find out if you see him as more than a friend and a soldier and a lover, or if you see him completely, and all at once. 
To find out if he is everything to you, like you are to him. 
***
There is a loud rap on your door and it tears you, regretfully, from the tangle of limbs you are in. When the knock becomes more insistent, you apologise to the man blissed out beneath you and extricate yourself from his embrace, hastily cloaking yourself in a sheet and traipsing through your temporary apartment – home for the time being. Adrenalin piqued, you peer through the spyhole, relief flooding you when you see who it is. 
“Santi? What the fuck?” you ask, opening the door to him and pressing the sheet to you with your remaining hand.
“Hi,” he says casually, the brim of his baseball cap pulled down over his eyes.
“I’m in the middle of something,” you bite, emphatically. “What in the hell do you want?” you hiss at him, keeping your volume low.
“You,” he says plainly.
Santiago looks you over; your flushed face, plumped lips and blatant post-orgasm glow. His jaw visibly clenches.
“What?!” you exclaim in confusion. 
“I want you.”
You tear his blasted hat off to examine his eyes for sincerity, pushing it into his chest all bunched-up. He hastily stuffs it in his jacket pocket. Eyes narrowed, you appraise him a moment longer, clicking your tongue in disbelief at the nerve this man has before abruptly closing the door on him.
“Bye, Santi.” 
“Wait!” he pleads, jamming his foot in the door and muscling through.
“What in the hell are you doing?!” you hiss again, backing-up and almost tripping over your sheet, which Santiago now has his mucky boots all over.
By this time, your hook-up for the night has heard the commotion and blustered through the dark apartment -in the nude- to ward off your supposed intruder. Your companion is bigger, sure, but he certainly shouldn’t mess with Santiago. He wouldn’t fare well at all. 
You raise your hand to diffuse the situation. “It’s ok, he’s a friend. Sometimes,” you add with a tilt of your head.
Your companion’s face flashes with recognition as Santiago emerges from out of the shadows. “Oh. It’s you, from the bar. Here I was thinking we’d gotten rid of you already.”
Santiago simply glowers with bubbling aggravation at the man, who has the cheek to just stand there with his fucking schlong out, entirely undeterred. Santiago puffs his chest out, making himself larger. 
“Please.” Santiago addresses you, tearing his eyes away from the man. “Can we talk?”
You sigh, unable to believe that you’re being stupid enough to agree to his demands. You turn back to the man you were enjoying being on top of until a moment ago. “Can you give us five minutes? I’m so sorry. I’ll be back.”
“Well - she might not be back,” Santiago suggests, and you glare at him, irritated.
The man looks between you and Santiago in disbelief before addressing you only. “Sure,” he says with a languid, sultry smile, ignoring Santiago entirely. “I’m willing to wait if we get to continue the fun we were having.” 
“Oh he’s a cheeky fuck,” Santiago grates, his whole body tense, and you quickly grab his elbow to bundle him into the kitchen before he can do any further damage.
“You’re the cheeky fuck, Santiago.” Apparently that’s your type. You vaguely wonder why you keep subjecting yourself to this, but you certainly don’t wish to pull on that thread too hard. Not right now. 
As you release his elbow, Santiago comes to face you in the narrow slip of a kitchen.
“Well? What in the hell are you doing here?” you rage whisper at him, folding your arms across yourself and tapping your foot impatiently on the tiled floor. 
Santiago simply squares up to you, his expression formidable, unphased. His dark eyes trail over you again, snagging on the places where the sheet drapes over the contours of you. You are suddenly uncomfortably aware of how naked you are beneath it. “Told you. I want you.”
Normally, those words were enough. But not any longer. You scoff. “I know all about how you want me, Pope. Half-heartedly. You want me when it suits you. When you can’t have me. When there’s no-one else around for you to want.”
It is his turn to scoff now. “Casual is what you wanted. You gonna throw that back in my face now?”
You sigh, tiredly, refusing to get embroiled in this. This is all meaningless. He can twist things and make excuses all he likes, but Santiago is a man of action. If he wanted you? Really wanted you? He wouldn’t let a Goddamn technicality stand in the way. 
You don’t have the energy for excuses. For this conversation. You’ve waited too long for Santiago to even realise there is anything worth talking about. So, instead of fighting back, you let it go. 
“I’m done, Santi. I’m out.”
Your words feel like a relief to you, after bottling this up since you came to the decision. The relief extends through your body as you sag backward to lean up against the cold fridge door, that too relieving on your hot, sheening skin.
“Don’t be so dramatic.” Santi dismisses your assertion instantly. He tended towards tunnel vision about some things. Just because he didn’t want out, he tended to assume that was true for everyone else. He was a connector, an enabler, and these factors combined meant the squad had stayed together a long time; far longer than it ever should have, like this time. He’d pulled his “retired” buddies back in, yet again. 
“I’m for real, Santi,” you say in a small voice. “It’s already done.”
A veil of shock then betrayal passes over his face as the truth of your words sinks in. He takes a step back from you, as if he’s been sucker punched in the gut. His brows knit together and he looks down at the floor. “When?”
“Three weeks.” You figure you may as well rip the band-aid off in one go.
He turns his mouth down at the corners and slowly nods his head, doing an admirable job of containing whatever it is he is feeling, for the moment, while he gathers his intelligence. Mission above emotion, as ever. Santiago looks at the world through a scope sometimes, and he often forgets about the big picture. It always surprises you how a man so perceptive and attentive to detail -when he chooses to apply it- could fail to notice something right under his nose. 
“Where?”
“Home. Desk-job, by the ocean. Private firm and a nice salary too. What’s not to love?” You add the extra information in an effort to detract from the thing you least wanted to face. Home is far. Far from him. 
“Fuck,” Santiago breathes, finally looking up at you. “Because of me?”
You bristle again. “You arrogant piece of....” you sigh heavily, biting your lip and reminding yourself it isn’t worth it to grow aggravated. Plus, there’s a kernel of truth in his question, after all. You gather yourself before speaking again. “I stayed so long because of you, Santi. But I’m leaving for me. I’m tired of waiting.” Maybe he’ll notice you when you’re gone, you think. Maybe he’ll want you then.  
“You can’t go. Someone with your skillset will be impossible to replace at short notice. How the hell am I supposed to keep the operation afloat without you?” 
You shake your head softly, smiling in disbelief, his response confirming so many of your reasons behind going. Always focussed on the mission.
“Frankie’s looking into someone, actually. He knows a guy. He’s not as good as me, of course, but-”
“-You told Frankie?!” You can hear in his voice that the revelation hurts him. He has always been your confidant. But hey, things change, even if Santiago never does. 
“Yeah, well,” you say thinly, through your teeth. “There’s plenty you don’t tell me, Santi.” You look at him pointedly. “Besides, I think you’ll manage. You always seem to find someone to meet your… needs. Don’t you?”
Santiago brings one arm up beside your head, leaning against the fridge with his palm, his dark eyes turbulent and boring into yours. “You’re the one who’s got some guy in there. What do you want from me, huh?”
He crowds you, but you can’t bring yourself to push him back. Instead, you languish more readily up against the fridge door, your grip on your sheet becoming less and less sure.
“Oh! That’s your fucking grand gesture? You came here to ask me what the hell I want from you?” Your passions rise, heart thrumming in your chest. You try and tell yourself it’s entirely from anger and nothing at all to do with his proximity. That it’s certainly not because of that look he’s giving you. 
Speaking of proximity, Santiago’s now close enough to smell the other man’s scent on you. He’s leaning into you, breath ragged and desire clouding his eyes, even as you still bear the signs of being ravaged by another between your legs. Or perhaps… because of it. 
Even as you stand here, like this, signs of another lover temporarily strewn over your person, it’s ludicrous to think another could claim you. You belong to Santiago. It’s Santiago who is indelibly written onto your body, the map of scars telling the story and you and him. The scar on your shoulder from a bullet wound, the scar on your calf from an off-road collision, the marks all over you serve as a reminder of the times Santiago has been there for you. Pressed his lethal hands to you to keep your lifeforce from ebbing away. He is your ride or die, and your body knows it. 
Equally, as he stands there fully clothed, you know that his body similarly hosts a constellation of scars from all your shared moments; in the field, on missions, over continents. One of you could not hope to be read -to be understood- without the other. Your bodies would forever move through the world as a team, as a pair, even if you left his side. 
You were each the key to cartographing each other’s lives. To imagine that the hickey on your neck or the slick between your legs could begin to compare to the way Santiago had marked you as his was almost comical. 
“You really need a grand gesture to know I care about you?” You know what he’s asking. Is running into a hail of bullets for you not enough? Hasn’t he proven himself to you time and time again? 
“Santi. I don’t doubt you care about me. I could never. I just… I don’t feel like you know yet what you want from me. And I can’t wait anymore for you to make up your mind.” You shrug. “I don’t know. I just feel like… like sometimes you don’t even see me because I’ve always been right in front of you.” 
Santiago looks at you, pained, expression weighted, as if he can’t find the words to tell the story of you. But your bodies are not stories. They are maps, and maps are to be understood through being travelled. That’s why, when his hand slips to you shoulder to slowly trace the scar there, it makes sense. It is understood without words as his fingers journey over your skin, a varied terrain of memories flashing through Santiago’s eyes. His touch retracing years in only moments. 
“I see you,” he insists, his voice a husk, his calloused fingertips trailing over your smooth, delicate skin. Making you feel weak. Making you want to become a soft, fluid thing beneath him. Oh, he’s looking at you now. There’s that attention that feels like it might end you. You commune wordlessly, breath quickening, that pulse of desire tending toward collision, the stillness of having arrived home as he touches you.   
“I see you,” he purrs, his hand moving to your sheet, gently tugging it away from your grasp and giving you ample opportunity to protest. But you don’t. You don’t protest. You are symbiotic with him. You move as a team, and you can’t help but want to merge. Maybe that’s why you let him tug the sheet from your grasp, fabric pooling at your feet. Maybe it’s the ache between your legs. Maybe it’s because you know he gives it to you good. 
Santiago exposes you completely to him, eyes then hands hungrily trailing down over your contours. His fingers grip your hips firmly as his mouth sinks into your neck, his hot breath fanning over you as he speaks. 
“I see you, baby.” 
Your arms are still pinned to your sides as you pretend that somehow you can resist your urges, despite being naked and needy and oh so ready in front of him. 
“Fuck you, Santiago,” you breathe, voice trembling, and you know exactly what he’s doing as his lips and his teeth snag angrily over your skin. Reclaiming you. Marking you as his. And instead of pushing him away, you pull him closer to you. Instead of recoiling you arch your body against him, breasts pushing up against him, the cold metal of his chain harsh against your skin. The sturdy mass and heat of him beneath his clothes only highlighting how exposed and vulnerable you feel, your desire entirely on display like a flare in the dark. 
His mouth has already ravaged your neck, your collarbone, his stubble abrasive against you, leaving a pleasant burn in its wake. His cologne is the only scent enveloping you now. Then, his hands rove over you, everywhere, like he’d wished they could in the bar, your skin still cloying, tacky with sweat. He paws at every bit of you as if to reinstate his claim on you. Your breasts, your ass, your hips, your thighs. He isn’t gentle. His hands showing their strength in a way they haven’t with you before now. He tongues your salty skin and the way his mouth punishes you is bitter like lime, foreshadowing his words. 
“Did he make you come?” he asks into your neck, his hand slipping between your legs and finding you wet and welcoming. “Did he?”
“Yes,” you breathe, his voice commanding enough that you want to answer. Your face contorting as if in pain as Santiago continues to grind two girthy fingers over your folds. Your companion had made you wet, but nothing like this. All he’s doing is feeling you, coating himself, and Santiago has you drenched already; you can feel it slick against your inner thighs as you tremble under the weight of yourself, suddenly so heavy with lust that you can barely stand. 
Your arms wind around his neck to steady yourself and he pins you between him and the fridge, your fingers inching up through the buzzed hair at his neck, nails trailing over his scalp and up into his grizzled curls as you finally become molten against him. Your hands fist in his hair and you tug his head up towards your lips, earning a grunt from him as pain needles across his scalp. The sound is growled into your mouth as his snarled kiss crashes against yours.
He’s frustrated, and he’s jealous, and he wants to show you that you’re his. What’s more, you want him to show you. Oh, how you want him to.
You shudder against the sudden blunt pressure of two of Santiago’s fingers at your entrance, your need urgent and a tightness building so immediately in your core. He pushes himself more firmly up against you, pinning you between his taut body and the fridge. His tongue ravages your mouth and your pleas for him to touch you become incoherent sounds that you work into him in return. His kiss is rough, his teeth scathing you, lips on yours in a crush, stubble grating at your chin and cheeks as he opens himself up as if to devour you. Then, he sucks your bottom lip in between his own and clamps his teeth down until you howl against the sting of it, bucking your body against the pain as you cry into his mouth. 
With the bucking of your hips, you grind yourself against his hand, and Santiago barely needs to move as you willingly spear yourself on his fingers. He leaves you wanting though, allowing you just an inch of him when he has so much more to give. Already, the ridges of him against you are providing divine friction, his fingers curling and scissoring inside you, but he leaves you begging for more. Begging him to plunge himself all the way in. 
“Did you think about me when you took him? Did you use him and wish it was me between your legs?” Santiago’s voice is like gravel in the shell of your ear, and his words curl into the depths of you. With them, he thrusts his fingers angrily into your heat, driving himself in all the way to the knuckle. Your eyes practically roll back into your head as he thrusts harshly and asks you again, even more insistent. “Did you?”
“Yes,” you admit, in a broken voice, tugging him closer to you, crushing your lips onto the column of his neck, tugging the collar of his shirt aside until you can bite down into the meat of his shoulder, stifling your moans there as his pace intensifies. His fingers are curling relentlessly towards your sweet spot and your walls are already fluttering against him. The heel of his hand is rocking against your excruciatingly sensitive clit, applying steady rolls of pressure as his fingers delve into you. His watch strap digs into your pubic bone but for some reason it only adds to the heightened sensations coursing through you. 
“Do I make you feel good? Do I make you feel better with my fingers than he could with his whole body, huh?” 
His words practically make you sob into him. It’s dirtier than you’ve ever heard him talk. It’s more intimate and further from friendship than anything you’ve done with him so far. Yes, you’ve fucked but this… this is something else. This is you admitting you are entirely his. This feels simultaneously more like battle and more like surrender than it ever has. And you wholly surrender. 
You moan. You moan out loud despite the fact you shouldn’t. Despite the fact there’s still another man in the apartment who you had underneath you only moments ago. 
“Are you gonna come on my fingers – show me who you belong to?” 
You agree. You agree wholeheartedly. 
Santiago pulls back just to watch you. To see the pleasure play over your face, both the overabundance of it and dearth of it as every touch satisfies yet has you craving more. You see a prideful glow in his eyes that he has you this wrecked, mewling and writhing on him as he adds a third finger into your wetness and pumps himself hard in and out of you. 
“Fuck,” he intones, his voice hollowed-out. “You’re fucking drenched. Wettest I’ve ever felt.” God. You can hear how wet you are. 
In dire need of some relief himself, Santiago presses his clothed, hardened length against your hip as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of you. Even through the substantial fabric of his jeans you can feel the thick, hard promise of him as he begins to grind himself against you, low and guttural moans escaping his sweet lips. The fact that he’s so fucking desperate for you, that you have made him hot enough to get off from only this has a knot tightening in the pit of you as you watch him start to unravel alongside you. 
“Fuck, Santi,” you moan into the air, not even caring that there’s someone else in the apartment. Past caring about anything at all except your need for him to keep touching you, his fingers filling you up so well. 
“That’s it, baby. Say my name, say you’re mine.”
Santiago is still grinding his clothed length against you, even as his fingers overflow with your essence. He dips his head into the crook of your neck and the growl he emits fans over your skin. Makes it sound as if he’s about to lose it too, simply from this. His spare hand dips down to collect one of your breasts and he lifts your nipple into his mouth, sucking and tonguing and biting the peak of you, squeezing you -not gently- as you topple towards your end. 
He continues to grind against you, and the thought of him exploding in his pants for you tips you over the edge, his name tumbling from your lips over and over as you flutter and clench around his fingers. The feeling spreading outward through your body like an explosion, leaving you levelled, a resounding buzz reaching all the way to your extremities and whiting out your vision like a flashbang. Your fingers tangle in Santiago’s curls as you spasm against him, his fingers eking every last drop of pleasure from you - as though he knows his way around you better than anyone could. 
At the feel and sound and sight of you coming undone, his hardened length grinds on you with renewed vigour, a wracked and disbelieving moan stuttering through him as he loses it without you having laid a finger on him. His body becomes stiff against you as he pulses his seed out beneath his clothes. Something about him being so lost in desire for you that he’d make a mess of himself like that has you clenching with deep, generous aftershocks, adrift with the thought of his hardened length pearling with his warm release.  
Santiago’s head settles into the crook of your neck as you both come down together, even as his fingers continue to lazily pulse in and out of you - just to feel you. Your arms lovingly cradle his head, fingers tangling in his curls, your lips finding their way to his hairline to plant gentle kisses there. Your Santiago. In your arms. 
You stay there a moment until your jagged breathing and thrumming heart settle, enjoying him languorously touching you. With a shiver of contentment, he withdraws from your heat, wrapping his unsullied hand around your waist to pull you closer. 
For a moment, everything is in soft focus, like the break of day before an alarm.  You close your eyes against his touch and breathe him in as he whispers lovingly into your neck, planting light kisses where a moment ago his puckered lips left angry bruises. 
“Fuck. I love you. I love you. I adore you. I need you.”
When you don’t respond though, Santiago stills against you, lifting his head to look you dead in the eyes. He finds them tearing in the corners. 
Your voice begins weakly. “You love me, Santi. But do you want a life with me? A life outside of the mission, outside of all of this?”
He brushes his thumb softly over your jawline. “I know I haven’t been all in. But I swear it to you, baby... you’re my end game. It’s just, we’re not there yet. We’re too deep in this shit. If we can get one more of Lorea’s deputies then maybe-”
“-Sure,” you say sadly, the word heavy and the intimacy of the moments prior dissipating quickly. You know fine well what “one more” means. You dip to collect your sheet from the floor and tighten it around yourself, using the motion in a vague attempt to distract both Santiago and yourself from the tears threatening more violently in your eyes now. 
The footsteps you hear approaching the kitchen are a further welcome distraction, and you surreptitiously clean off Santiago’s hand on the already soiled sheet before your first companion of the evening (now fully clothed) pops his head around the doorframe. 
“I’m just gonna leave,”  he interjects awkwardly, and your cheeks flush in humiliation. You’re sure one day, far into the future, this may be a funny story you tell, but, right now? It feels more than a little mortifying. 
“I’m so sorry. I…” You reach for a more robust apology but come up with nothing, far too aware that Santiago’s eyes continue to needle you. What are you going to do? Tell him it was fun? And so, since you opt to leave it hanging, your companion simply pumps his eyebrows once before striding smoothly out of your apartment. You jump slightly as you hear the door slamming shut behind him, evidently feeling a little on edge despite being wrung out so recently by bliss.  
Your eyes linger on the doorframe a little too long, staring at nothing except the now vacated space. You’re not ready to turn your attention back to Santiago quite yet, and you’re much less ready to deal with what will follow. 
It turns out, you don’t even have to look back at him, because your cowardice says it all for you. Instead, a small voice escapes him. 
“You’re still gonna go, aren’t you?”
You look at him then, and you see a sadness blooming in his eyes which is so heart-breaking that you're half-glad when tears gather in your own, blurring-out the sight of him. His pain always was too much for you to look at. 
Your gladness is short-lived however, as your own tears begin to spill out of you. You wipe the deluge away with the heel of your hand, but the tears are coming quicker than you can mop them up. Your chest shakes as you speak your next words. 
“I love you, Santi. Believe me. I love you. But it’s always ‘just one more’.” One more woman. One more mission. One more way to break your heart. “You’re living like... like you can get to the end of the line and wish for one more fucking chance.”
“Don’t go. Please,” he pleads, moving close to you and wrapping his arms around you. His broad, warm hands at your back. “Please. I’m putting it on the line here. I want you. I love you.” 
You smile thinly at him. You know he’s trying and God, you love him too. But this? For you, it’s too little, too late. For him, you guess you’re asking for too much, too soon. He’s not ready to leave this life. He’s not even ready to imagine leaving it. But, oh boy, you are. You are. 
You sniffle and take a deep, steadying breath, giving it everything you have to stay firm, despite every fibre in you telling you to surrender. To just stay with him. It would be too easy to do. 
“It’s a hard out, Santi.”
He senses the finality of your words and nods slowly, his eyes shining with tears, his whole face becoming taut with emotion. His silence is prolonged as he draws in ragged breaths. His hands slip away from your back and the moment slips away with them. You miss the warmth of them instantly. 
“Okay,” he says in a small, curt voice. “Okay.”
He about turns, precise and efficient, swivelling towards the door and tracking along the hallway leading out of your apartment.
“Santi, wait!” you call, traipsing along after him, slowed by the material bundling at your feet. “Santiago Garcia, don’t you dare leave it like this,” you plead. “Not after everything.”
He turns his head back towards you as he swings open your front door. His eyes are cold, face set as he looks at you, his voice monotone. “I’m not the one leaving.”
An anger and a sadness erupt in you at the coldness, the cruelness of his words, and, apparently, not even the sight of the fresh batch of tears spilling down your cheeks can slow his retreat from your apartment.
Santiago “Pope” Garcia turns and swiftly walks out without looking back, leaving the door swinging violently on its hinges. The fucking nerve of this man. 
You start after him; but he’s already making his way down the stairwell and you’re in no position to chase him. Your pain boiling over you yell, voice creaking under the weight of your emotion. 
“I hope your fucking knees give out on the way down, you asshole.”
Your cruel, cheap words carry down the stairwell, yet an echo is all the response you get. Santiago is gone. He didn’t stop for a second. 
He doesn’t know how to stop.
He’s mission over emotion. Near-death over living. He’s seemingly in this until it kills him, but you can’t be in it anymore. You have always been his ride or die, but now is the time for you to live, even if that means you can no longer be side-by-side with him. 
He is the other half of you and no matter where you are to go, your bodies will move through the world as a team, one unable to be read without the other. Santiago is written all over you, and nothing can change that. 
Besides, you know if he really wants to, he can always come find you. He has a map for loving you, if he would ever follow the route it was trying to take him. But he’s not there yet. 
He just has one more mission to go.
And then the next.
And the next. 
And the next. 
221 notes · View notes
abbyshands · 2 months
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🇵🇸 LINKS | before engaging !!! | click before you fic ♡ | m. list | join my tag list!
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do me a favour by am makes me think about loser!abby, smoker, drank alcohol, shitty grades, who you were irrevocably enamored by. you were popular, a pretty girl, but smart, witty, kind, fun. you could usually find abby buried in an alleyway of your college, cigarette perched in her lips. playing it off like she didn’t have a care in the goddamn world. and usually? she didn’t. but there was a loophole, always was: and it was you. she fell for you by accident when you were paired for a project in one of your classes. she figured she would hate you: you were a part of a group of people who bullied her senseless on a daily basis. you weren’t proud of it, but you had to admit it: your friend group of popular, rich girls could be pretty goddamn snobby. but when you and abby’s first meet ended in a makeout session, she knew it wasn’t going to be what she had envisioned. but there was one more issue: her. abby anderson didn’t get fucking feelings for people. the only thing she’d shown love to in this world up to this point was a bottle of bourbon. the only closeness she had when it came to a human aside from her, was the drug shop clerk who sold her cigarettes once every few weeks. abby loser anderson, falling for a pretty girl? what a fucking joke. she capped it when she began to feel it: her feelings beginning to spill out of her, too much, too soon. and maybe she should keep them bottled up forever. she was feeling this thing for you, this utterly repulsive emotion she couldn’t get a grasp on. and all her life, she had heard a word, a word hurled around like it was candy. and it began with an “l,” didn’t take a genius to know it, but, god, it just couldn’t be that. so abby breaks it off. you say whatever, despite your hurt feelings. and you move on. sometimes, she wished you had been the one to end it. then, she wouldn’t feel so fucking guilty. guilt. guilt. guilt. she had fucked up. done it, lost you, and how could she? she’s back at your door weeks later. a girl who isn’t you answers it, and she knows she’s fucked up now. done it, lost you, she had done it. and she wasn’t sure if she could undo it. you come up behind the girl who’s lips had just been on yours, ushering her out of the way, and you cross your arms as you look at abby. her eyes have bags. she looks like she hasn’t been to sleep in weeks. and her face is solemn. you frown. she indulges, gives into the feelings she’s been bottling up for eons. and she spills it, voices all you had needed to hear from her … three weeks ago. that she loved you, that she needed you. you tell her, honest, fuck off. because if she really loved you? she would have come to her senses a long time ago. you had forgotten. you were moving on. and by now, all things considered? perhaps fuck off might be too kind.
adding in this lyric as well: “curiosity becomes a heavy load, too heavy to hold, too heavy to hold,” abby didn’t know shit about what it meant to love somebody else: to give your heart to them, and only them, in full. she didn’t understand this desire to go on dates, you by her side. or to hear your voice, your laugh, see you smile, be the one to make you smile. she didn’t understand what she was feeling for you. someone so perfect, someone too good for her. and so, when she could’ve just made a point to understand her feelings, she shut down instead. and at what cost? she wanted to make an effort, but now, it was too late. you were too far gone for apologies, meaningless words. it’s always been said that curiosity killed the cat. and abby anderson, was the embodiment.
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a/n; wanna make this into an ongoing series so if any songs cross your pretty minds in regards to that ,, please let me know ♡
divider creds !
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317 notes · View notes
leclerc-s · 3 months
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who's daniel ricciardo anyways?
series masterlist
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NEW HEIGHTS | EP 50
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comments
user01 is jason a secret daphne jones fan? he knows about the eagles t-shirt.
user02 i'm so here for the daphne jones/travis kelce love story
user03 months later we're going to look back on this and know it was the start of the greatest love story ever.
user04 as a daphne fan. it's a cute idea but like do the other people in the comments know anything about daphne?
↳ user05 right? like at least educate yourselves on daphne lore before you start shipping her with someone.
user06 jason's doing god's work for daphne and travis.
user07 and the award for biggest daphne and travis' biggest shipper is jason kelce!
user08 reading these comments is making me cringe a little bit. do people not know a thing about daphne? like i'm not even a fan of her and i know.
↳ user09 know what?
↳ user08 daphne's married. she's been married for almost a year.
user10 the reason daphne probably didn't talk to him is because she's married and doesn't want to give anyone the wrong idea.
↳ user11 SHE'S MARRIED? HOW THE FUCK AM I JUST NOW FINDING OUT?
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isabella perez to the americans, who the fuck is travis kelce?
logan sargeant nfl player for the kansas city chiefs
zoya torres do you mean football?
logan sargeant I AM NOT GETTING INTO THIS ARGUMENT WITH LANDO AGAIN ZOYA! DROP IT!
rowan todd is this about the daphne thing?
daniel jones-ricciardo what daphne thing? who's talking about my wife? who do i have to fight?
isabella perez nfl crazy fanboys who are demanding your wife divorce you and date travis kelce because "who's daniel ricciardo anyways?"
max jones-verstappen i'm throwing hands. is that the right way to use the phrase?
mae jones-verstappen yes max, it is. max jones-verstappen as i said, i'm throwing hands
charles leclerc are they insane?
dulce perez they watch grown men chase after a ball for over 2 hours. yes.
logan sargeant there are specific rules!
dulce perez you're literally the only one who cares.
daniel ricciardo that's not true! go bills! logan sargeant boo! go dolphins!
alex albon are you proud of what you've started dulce?
dulce perez i now realize that i've made a huge mistake.
mae jones-verstappen i'm american and i don't get the sport.
logan sargeant that sound like a you problem. mae jones-verstappen you've grown bold since you were added to the group chat logan sargeant it's the effect you people have on me.
natalia ruiz who the fuck is travis kelce and why is hitting on my wife?
daniel jones-ricciardo we are not doing this again nat. she's my wife! natalia ruiz you keep telling yourself that honey.
oscar piastri so natalia's like, in love with daphne, rowan, and penelope?
natalia ruiz don't forget my other wives, lily, mae, and carmen. dulce perez she just says that to piss them all off and it works. natalia ruiz men have such fragile egos
daphne jones she's not wrong.
isabella perez daphne! what do you think about travis kelce?
daphne jones-ricciardo i know his brother is jason kelce? he plays for the eagles. why?
daniel jones-ricciardo no reason! no reason at all! please ignore it!
max jones-verstappen travis declared his love for you on the internet and now daniel feels insecure you're going to dump him and date travis.
daniel jones-ricciardo sometimes i hate that we're related now. max jones-verstappen no you don't you fucking liar. you love me. daniel jones-ricciardo because i happen to like your wife so i tolerate you. max jones-verstappen you're a big fat fucking liar jones-ricciardo!
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liked by maxverstappen1, maejones, isabellaperez and others
danieljonesricciardo who's daniel ricciardo anyways?
tagged: daphnejonesricciardo
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user93 not the wedding picture! daniel jones-ricciardo, the man that you are!!
maejones tell me you're jealous without telling me you're jealous
↳ danieljonesricciardo i'm not jealous! but i don't know who daniel ricciardo is, i only know daniel jones-ricciardo.
isabellaperez yeah, daniel you tell 'em!
maxverstappen1 oh my god. of course you would do this.
↳ danieljonesricciardo it's a problem when i do it but when you lost your shit over mae and joshua getting shipped by the internet over their "rekindlement" it was fine
↳ maxverstappen1 that's different! you're married!
user81 the fucking wedding picture is taking me out. this man is trying to prove a point.
nataliaruiz she's my wife ricciardo, don't you forget it.
↳ danieljonesricciardo i will steal your child if you don't stop.
↳ charles_leclerc you leave my daughter alone jones-ricciardo!
user87 SHE'S MARRIED? HOW DID I MISS THIS?
user59 oh my god daniel jones-ricciardo. i fucking love you
vancityreynolds the only person allowed to steal your wife or profess her love for her is my wife.
↳ danieljonesricciardo see you get it. just like only i can profess my love for you or steal you from your wife.
↳ vancityreynolds that's right my love!
↳ user02 i fucking love this duo!
scottyjames31 oh brother! this guy's so jealous
↳ danieljonesricciardo i know where you live scotty.
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NEW HEIGHTS | EP 54
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comments
user12 i for one did not know daphne jones was married.
user13 to everyone who was pushing the daphne x travis agenda, you sure look dumb now, don't you?
user14 i was so wrong when i said this would be the greatest love story ever.
user15 so she's a wag but not a wag for the person or sport we all thought?
↳ user16 people wanted her to be a football wag when she's been an f1 wag for over 7 years.
user17 jason kelce developing a man crush on daniel jones-ricciardo was not on my bingo card for 2023
user18 f1 silly season is silly seasoning so good. i thought we had gotten past this with the daphlonso thing but nooo
user19 the kelce brothers not knowing what formula one was before all of this is so fucking funny to me
↳ user20 them not knowing what it was and now jason kelce having a crush on daniel is so fucking funny to me
↳ user19 right, this whole thing is so fucking funny.
user21 okay but i would also be like travis, i just wouldn't put the signs together. like what if one of her last names was her mom's last name? i'm just dumb like that
↳ user22 must be all the hits to the head getting to travis.
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isabella perez daniel, this is very important, did you or did you not receive an apology from travis kelce for hitting on your wife?
daniel jones-ricciardo i did. why is it important? arthur leclerc so we can secretly stop shitting on him.
sebastian vettel they have a group chat away from the "responsible adults"
sebastian vettel i wasn't aware fernando was responsible but here we are.
fernando alonso do not tempt me sebastian, i can still add mark.
daphne jones-ricciardo i feel like i'm owed an apology because jason kelce just hit on my husband.
rowan todd reminder, your husband publically flirts with ryan all the fucking time.
esteban ocon i fear we may have to keep him away from ryan in vegas.
mick schumacher get them both drunk enough and they'll try to get married by elvis.
daniel jones-ricciardo that is so not true. i would marry max. max jones-verstappen and we would do it sober! bailey winters you two are worse than my parents, and they've been married for over 20 years.
freya vettel so we can stop hating on travis?
isabella perez i think we do freya. this is tragic. i was enjoying it.
oscar piastri you said he was built like brick wall. that was it.
isabella perez i know but i enjoyed george's presentation on why daphne and travis would never work out. it was very informative.
daniel jones-ricciardo HE MADE A PRESENTATION? george russell yes, and my main reason was that everyone would think it was a publicity stunt for that one game that everyone tunes in to watch but it's simply to watch the halftime show and not the actual game.
logan sargeant i watch the game!
zoya torres that's because you're part of the small percentage that watches the game. speaking of, who do you guys think is performing next year?
lewis hamilton will it finally be the year daphne says yes?
daphne jones-ricciardo will xnda record a song with me? lewis hamilton no daphne jones-ricciardo there's your answer
rowan todd i think shakira should get a solo halftime show
logan sargeant the council has suggest i recommend daisy jones & the six
isabella perez peso pluma.
dulce perez you're joking, right? isabella perez of course i am. i think a huge reggaeton number works better.
freya vettel hear me out. one direction reunion.
isabella perez or, hear me out, daphne performs with one-hit wonder xnda
lewis hamilton one-hit wonder? isabella perez you recorded one song and dipped lewis. you are a one-hit wonder.
ollie bearman you people are insane.
carlos sainz tell us something we don't know oliver. isabella perez that is my son! watch it sainz!
fernando alonso i hate every single one of you and i can't stand any of you.
sebastian vettel liar! fernando alonso especially you.
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¡leclerc-s speaks! honestly, this opportunity was too fucking funny to pass up. i like to think i fucking hilarious when i'm sleep deprived. this is 100% not funny. i also probably got the dates wrong but that's on my sleep deprived brain. i cannot be held accountable for the mistakes it makes.
¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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210 notes · View notes
pupkashi · 10 months
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boyfriend!nanami headcanons
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a/n: hi friends! thank u so much for the request i hope you guys like these :3 lmk what u think !! hoping it isn’t too ooc for him :(
wordcount: 1,228
masterlist
so we all agree nanami is the perfect, romantic, 10/10 man right? okay cool!
he is the best boyfriend is the most cliche amazing way possible
he totally asks you out with roses and takes you to a nice dinner to a fancier restaurant after a couple dates or if you aren’t rlly into that he’ll cook dinner for the two of you in his house <3
he’s such a gentleman !!!!! he is checking up on you when you tell him you’re nervous for something, giving you the best advice he can, reminding you that you’re 100% prepared for everything, and if you aren’t then he’s there to comfort you!
buys you ‘just because’ flowers ALL THE TIME !
he’s coming back from work / a mission? he’s buying you flowers! went to the convenience store for something? he’s stopping by to get flowers! saw your old bouquet looking a bit droopy? no worries, there’s a new one on its way to you now :)
always getting u anything you want ever, it’s a problem actually
“i kinda want this water bottle but i don’t really need it” you mumble, mainly to yourself, kento’s ears are perking up, asking you to show him
two days later he’s handing you the bottle, a smile on his face when you light up and thank him for it
going shopping with him is DANGEROUS! he is buying you everything you try on and like and MORE !
“this is so cut- nevermind!” you chuckle, setting the handbag down when you see the outrageous price tag, nanami is quirking his brow, “just get it darling, price isn’t an issue”
he’s always adding any little gifts you give him to his lavish fancy apartment, splashes of color all over his beige themed apartment, if you aren’t there his eyes will sometimes wander to the gifts, smiling to himself and shooting you a message, ‘i miss you, call me when you’re free <3’
he so pampers you all the time :( especially when you’re feeling a bit more stressed wether it’s your job or finals, he’s there reminding you to eat and drink water, making you take breaks or short little naps when you have time to spare
gives you massages and cuddles you to sleep, reading to you until your breathing is even or turning the tv off when you doze off on the couch accidentally
majority of the time will cook dinner for you, unless he’s absolutely exhausted then he’ll order something in,,, never makes you cook if you don’t wanna !!!!
when you guys move in together he does as much as he can when it comes to chores, always making sure he’s pulling his weight and then some so you aren’t stressed about it <333
loves days when you’re both deep cleaning and you have your music blasting through the apartment, the two of you dancing along to the music, a huge smile on your face when you hear him humming along
drives you around everywhere you want ! you won’t be touching a steering wheel unless you want to or it’s absolutely necessary,, he wants you to be his passenger prince / princess
fuels any hobbies you have! buys you any supplies you want / need without hesitation,, you need more yarn? he’ll buy you as much as you want. you want more books? he’ll buy you the whole series!
is SO thoughtful when it comes to gifts, he’ll think about what to get you months in advance and never once gets you anything tacky or that you don’t like (because he actually listens and pays attention to what you like)
he’s an amazing listener !!!! boyfriend!nanami is always hooked on your every word, keeping up with any gossip you tell him or rants you go on
amazing cuddler. wraps you in his arms and pulls you into his warm body, tight enough grip that makes you feel secure but to where you can wiggle out at anytime you want (he never wants to make u feel trapped </3)
will be vulnerable with you 10000% he’s not afraid of crying infront of you and sharing his emotions!
he’s very mature when it comes to arguments, letting you cool down if you need it and talking through what upset you or him and figuring out how to best resolve the problem
will never go to bed mad, he always makes sure the issue is solved as soon as possible because he doesn’t want you to be stressed or upset longer than you need to :(
remembers every little thing he can !!! any off hand comments you make, the jokes you tell, the dates you’ve been on, you name it and he’s recalling it to you exactly how it went
y’all have SO MANY inside jokes it’s terrible to your friends, the two of you looking at each other with a smile when someone says the word ‘can’ and they’re so confused
“it’s an inside joke, it would take too long to explain” you say, trying to change the subject as you bite back laughter
he is so playful and unserious with you, anyone around you absolutely does not believe it when you tell them kento knows the Cupid shuffle, but you know because you saw it with your own eyes
will make amazing jokes that have you wheezing in the floor all the time, describing things with much too sophisticated words that make it all so much funnier
he’s very protective of you
will always make sure you’re safe no matter what happens ever, it’s always his top priority
especially when he’s back in the Jujutsu line of work, he’s always checking in on you and making sure nothing bad has happened to you
when you’re out with friends he’ll occasionally message you, making sure you’re still doing good, never upset if you come home late as long as you let him know so he doesn’t worry his pretty head :(
the times you do forget he’s only minorly upset, letting it go easily because all that really matters is that you’re okay and you had a fun time :]
absolutely gives you ‘scary dog privelage’ !!!! you can go on late night walks all the time now with nanami by your side! no one even dared to try anything with the tall, beefy man walking in stride with you, muscles straining against his plain white t shirt as he stretches a bit
his gaze alone is enough to stop people from coming up and flirting with you at bars or any parties you might attend
his intimidating stare + his arms crossed across his chest is an insanely attractive sight for you, increasingly terrifying for those on the receiving end of it
doesn’t get jealous much, he trusts you with all his heart and more, and you show him how much you love him all the time
on the rare occasion he does get jealous, he’ll ask for some reassurance, his mind easing at your genuine words <33
he also will 100% make out with you until you’re breathless and leave marks where only he can see
overall nanami is just the most amazing caring boyfriend that will spoil you rotten and give you all the love he has to offer because it’s what you deserve <3
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strawhbrrries · 11 months
Text
Babys Breath, i
pairing: bob floyd x seresin!florist!reader
summary: Bob stumbles into the nearest florist to the funeral he’s attending and, unknowingly, charms Jake Seresin’s sweet younger sister with all the anxious charm he possesses.
warnings: everyone calls reader “sunshine”, just straight fluff that is all, warnings will differ depending on chapter, no use of y/n or description of reader, not proofread 
word count: 897 words
authors note: this is just the first part of a sweet series i’m planning for bobby! eventually i’ll make a masterlist and everything but for now enjoy this (short) but sweet first chapter! I tried to encompass the personality i envision sunshine having, obviously different from jake, in this chapter but i can’t wait to expand upon it all :)
tag list: @kloofspeaks
find the masterlist here! read the next part here!
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Ding!
Your head lifted from the flowers in your hand when the bell above the door rang out, bringing in a highly decorated aviator. He looked nervous and was fiddling around with the wallet in his hand, looking around for the attendant and looking relieved when his eyes fell on you. You carefully placed the flowers down on the counter behind you and walked around the counter in front of you to go help him.
“Welcome! I’m sunshine, how can I help you?” Your voice was soft and warm, easing all the anxiety Bob had about walking into this place he knew nothing about and trying to buy flowers he also didn’t know jack shit about.
“Hey, uhm I’m Bob?” He scratched the back of his neck, you assumed it was because the flowers were overwhelming. It was entirely because he had prepared for an older woman not a beautiful younger woman his own age, his palms became sweaty the second his eyes saw you and his breaths became shallow.
“I didn’t know your name could be a question.” You teased, scrunching your nose to prevent the giggle you were holding inside from coming out. “What can I help you with, Bob?”
“Uh, I need funeral flowers.” He gave an awkward smile, wiping his palms against the pants of his dress blues one at a time. Trading the wallet between hands. “I could use some suggestions?”
Funeral flowers. How odd. You wondered if he knew your brother or if it was just some strange coincidence, you’d text him the description of the man in front of you later. He seemed sweet enough for an aviator, Jake shouldn’t have any qualms if you wanted to take a crack at it.
“Well, I’d suggest-”
Bob had tuned out whatever you had said, watching your lips move as you talked and how passionate you seemed about the subject of flowers. He’d never been one to think flowers were of any interest but suddenly they seemed like the most important subject he’d ever learned. You listed off all the colors and different flowers along with their different meanings, he’d shook his head like he’d been listening. Then you asked what he’d like to put in a bouquet and he looked like a deer in headlights, you giggled and snapped him out of the trance he was in. You were used to this, especially from men in the navy. You weren’t used to the shy nature Bob had.
“I’ll put together something for you, what’s your price range?” Once he’d responded you gathered some flowers, trimmed the stems and wrapped them in brown paper. Adding some twine around the stems to top it all off. You rang up the flowers and told him the price.
“What do they mean?” He asked, picking up the flowers from the counter as he handed you his card. 
“Somebody should’ve listened.” You teased, running his card and placing it down on the counter so you could explain the flowers. “These here are apple blossoms, which means better things to come. And these are lilies of the valley, god I love these, they mean the return of happiness.”
This time he listened as you spoke, asking some follow up questions about some of the flowers to prove he was listening this time. He caught a glimpse of the time on his watch and audibly cussed.
“Oh sorry, you probably need to get going!” You scribbled something on his receipt and pushed it, along with his card, into his hand and sent him on his way with a smile. The second you heard the door close you pulled your phone out, hit the contact for your brother and texted him.
had an aviator come in, asked for funeral flowers…
What’d he look like? You are aware that you can just ask them if they know me, right?
not as fun! 
Description please
aviators, the glasses not the sunglasses,  uhhh dress blues
Sunny every naval officer within a hundred miles is in dress blues, please be more specific.
blondish hair, he said his name was bob, kinda shy but it was sweet!
Bob Floyd.
He didn’t respond to any other text messages after that, you had asked for more details on Bob and he was not willing to give any. You assumed they knew each other pretty well, he only acted so closed lipped about people he actively knew and worked with. 
You tried to get the image of the sweet aviator out of your mind but to no avail. He clouded your thoughts for the rest of the day, for the first time since you’d become a florist you made easy mistakes that should’ve been avoided. All because of some man named Bob. Every time the bell went off, you hoped and prayed that it would be the sandy blonde walking his way back in. Every time your phone went off, you hoped it was him. But it never was, you had hoped he hadn’t thrown away the receipt you gave him.
(XXX) XXX-XXXX
Bob pulled out the receipt to throw it out, stopping when he caught a glimpse of the handwriting scrawled at the top. You had given him your number, he thanked the gods above and immediately typed your number into his phone under the name Pretty Florist Sunshine.
The flowers were a hit, thanks Sunshine!
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austinbutlerslovers · 19 days
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Upcoming Fics
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🔗 Ride Me 4.27.24 Summary {Austin Butler GF Series} Whenever Austin is in the mood for kink he pulls out a lace mask for you to wear. Even though you never know what to expect you readily put it on because he always delivers kinky sexual gratification for you both. After a wrap party for his latest film he drives you back to his estate. During the car ride he edges you with his fingers which puts him in the mood to try something new. When you arrive home he wastes no time finding the mask and tying it on you to fulfill his kinky desires.
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🔗 Teachers Pet 5.3 Summary {corrupt Austin series} When you begin to fail Professor Butlers advanced math class in college because you can’t stop fantasizing about him, he comes up with a way to satisfy your lust and increase your grade simultaneously. When you are finally on the verge of receiving an F he propositions you. The more you sexually gratify him the higher he will raise your grade.
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Mr. Butlers Babysitter Part 3 5.12 Summary { Corrupt Austin Series} 🔗 Part 1 🔗 Part 2 You are now deeply entangled in Austin's sexual perversions almost to the point of complete control. After verbally training you with reward and punishment commands you willingly follow his desires.
He love bombs you as a reward for your obedience and takes you shopping to buy a dress of his choosing for your first official date with him.
You only find out later when he brings you back to his estate that the expensive clothing and lavish dinner is not included in your babysitters fee. He says you must readily make amends and repay him in another way, and knows exactly how he wants you to make it up to him.
*Links will be added here*
✍🏼 All Fics Master List 📖
The Requests 📮
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🏷️ The Always Tag Me List 💌
@faegoddessog @purejasmine @burnthheparaphilia @obsessedvibee @abswifey @austiebuttbutt @jessica987 @oh-my-front-door @slowsweetlove @hardcoredisneynerd @magicovento @star017 @buckysteveloki-me @cauliflowercounty @thegabbyh @dacreshoney @elvismylove04 @burnthheparaphilia @emeraldsgirl @fallofthedamned @lindszeppelin @shegatsby @darlingisntit @unicoreads @feydsociety @phil2135561 @softboo
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writing-in-the-impala · 7 months
Text
Secret Smokes (Part 3)
Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader
Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.
Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship (but like it’s all legal chill), SLOWburn we’re in for a long ride
Word Count: 2038
A/N: Once again thank you for all the love this is a side blog so I can't reply from this account to you all below the post but I read every word I promise. You guys are the best ! Some people have asked about being tagged, yes I can tag you! So if you want to be added leave me a reply below and I'll tag you in the future parts and if you decide you want to be untagged just message me and I'll remove you it's okay I won't judge.
 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |
Previous Chapter, Part 3, Next Chapter
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Over the next few weeks you committed to showing up to lessons more often, you spent time with the Weasley's but you avoided getting into trouble. People started noticing the sudden change in your behaviour and dedication to your studies, Percy was very proud of your change in attitude and believed his talk with you helped you get there, you let him believe it but really it was all profesor Lupins doing. Unfortunately his class was the one you got the worst grades in, it was okay when you didn't attend and got bad grades but even with attendance they didn't grow it was your weakest subject.
Your evening smokes continued some days Lupin was there some he wasn't but he was there often some days he wouldn't smoke he would just be there to talk with you, your conversations turned deeper than they used to be as you got to know each other and you looked forward to them, you saw him as someone you truly connected with, yes the girly attraction was still there but what girl didn't find him attractive he had girls flirting with him constantly. It did make you feel uncomfortable watching the girls put bright lipstick on before entering his class and staying behind to ask him questions or for extra lessons, but he seemed to not mind and act profesional giving the girls extra lessons and paying no attention to their advances.
You had DADA last on Fridays which normally would've meant a lot of people not paying attention and aching to leave but profesor Lupin kept the class entertaining and engaging. It was a practical lesson, the ones your dread because with lack of practice you genuinely sucked at practical lessons. But you got through it and you were excited for the weekend to start, before you left the class Lupin asked you to stay behind. So you said bye to Percy and a few others telling them you'll join them later, you weren't worried that you'll get told off like with most teachers when they ask you to stay behind it was Lupin so you patiently waited for the last few girls to say "bye profesor" while walking out and then went over to his desk where he had sat down.
"What's up?" You asked as you approached his desk.
"Please, sit down Y/N." He said quite formally gesturing to the seat in front of him, now you were getting worried. "I'd like to speak with you about your grades." He paused and saw your face drop before continuing. "Now please don't think of this as a telling off, your attendance is better this year than any year before and I've heard great things from your other teachers about the progress you've been doing." He said but you still looked worried so he added. "You should be very proud of yourself Y/N." Which made you relax into the chair a bit more. "Nevertheless, I am worried about your grades in my subject as you're doing well in the theory side however it's using the spells in practice that you seem to struggle with. I know you've had a few hard years with the rotation of teacher, some worse than others, so it's not your fault you are in this position." He said all of this formally. "Although notoriously skipping classes for the last sexi years probably didn't help." He said with a small laugh as a friend rather than a teacher. "I want to help you, I've been speaking with your head of house about how we can improve your grades and we believe you need extra lessons, practical magic like this can't be learnt through studying alone in your dorm you need real practice. So I'm happy to offer you tutoring twice a week on Mondays and Wednesdays, to help you catch up." You sat silent still. "You don't have to do this, but profesor McGonagall and I do believe it is in your best interest." He added you just looked down embarrassed that you skipping classes has lead to this. "Okay Y/N I'm dying here please say something." He said casually addressing your silence.
"Thank you profesor." You said.
"How do you feel about my suggestion?" He asked.
"Embarrassed." You stated. "How so?" He asked I'm a caring tone. "I wouldn't be in this situation if I listened to everyone when they told me not to skip so many lessons."
"You're not the only student who will be receiving extra lessons, I have a small group of girls that have asked for extra time that I teach on Tuesdays. If you want you can join them so it's not just one-on-one if that's more comfortable for you?" He offered.
"But I'm the only one who actually needs tutoring. They only asked for it because they have a crush on you." You blurted out in your annoyance.
"Trust me crush or not some of those girls need extra lessons. Still after weeks of receiving them." He said honestly. "They're too busy staring at your lips to learn I guess." You said laughing to yourself, he gave you a gentle smile. "Y/N, you're a quick learner. You know the theory, with a little practice you'll be caught up by Christmas."
"Okay. As long as these lessons are done by 9pm." You said with a hint of humour.
"I would never let education get in the way of your nicotine addiction, I'm not a monster." He replied jokingly. "We have a deal." You say.
"Perfect, now enjoy your weekend." He said and you took that as a queue to leave. "And Y/N, don't let this overshadow all the effort you've been putting into your studies, you're doing amazing." He said whole heartedly.
"Thank you professor." You said leaving the classroom. You looked him as a teacher so if you needed anyone to give you extra lessons you were glad it was him.
You went straight to the great hall for dinner after your conversation with Lupin, Fred and George had a space saved for you next to them. "What took you so long?" Fred asked.
"Lupin is making me take extra lessons." You said solemn.
"Bullshit, you've been studying harder than ever."  Fred expressed.  "I know but I'm still behind, plus it's only two days a week and he said it'll only be until Christmas." You explained.
"I think it's a conspiracy." George stated. "Now why's that?" You ask amused. "They're obviously trying to keep you away from us so we don't pull any pranks." He expresses. "This has old minnie all over it." Fred adds sniffing the air comedically.
"Now that you mention it..." you say looking over at the teachers table watching Lupin and McGonagall speaking. "...Lupin did mention this being her idea."
"See! Merlin, Y/N we need to pull a prank now." George states. "Show them we can't be stopped so easily." Fred adds. "I don't know guys, I've been enjoying not sitting in detention."
"George, she's getting all soft." Fred states. "Now that's not okay." George replies and they both have a cheeky smile before they stand up and suddenly pick you up while you protest taking you out the great hall while you laugh and tell them to stop, you hadn't even had time to eat before the kidnapping and the whole school watched this happen but the boys didn't care. They carried you straight to the dorm room plopping you down on the sofa. "Y/N it's time to plan our first big prank of the year." George begins. "Perfect timing as well as we can go to Hogsmeade over the weekend to get any supplies we need."  You laugh and agree to the plotting, you plan a prank. It was to happen in the library, the plan was to hex every book, the books about animals would bite you, the books about history would disintegrate in your hands, the books about plants would be filled with soil and so on. You would obviously need to take all the real books and hide them but that wasn't a problem using the marauders map. You were looking at the map when you noticed Lupin was already standing on the bridge, you checked your watch and it was after 9pm already, he was just standing there you felt like you were missing out on seeing him plus you were scared he'd think you're ignoring him after your conversation earlier. "Boys I need to go, it was a pleasure scheming with you as always. I'll see you tomorrow." And with that you took the map, put it in your pocket and headed for the bridge. When you were around the corner you saw Lupin walking down the corridor in your direction, he must've finished smoking you thought. "Good evening professor." You said with a smile and me looked up at you with a grin. "Evening, Y/N. Evening stroll?" He questioned as if to ask why you didn't go to the bridge tonight.
"Just going to destress." You said showing him your pack of cigarettes.
"I forgot mine in my office I was just going to go get them." He explained, odd because he had been standing on the bridge for a while you think to yourself.
"You can borrow one of mine." You state.
"I'll give you two tomorrow." He replies turning around to walk with you. "I hope I wasn't too harsh on you today." He says as you walk after a moment of silence.
"You weren't harsh at all." You say with a hint of confusion.
"I didn't think you would come here today in all honesty, after the way you looked at me after class and during dinner." He said with a soft smile but you could tell there was some hurt behind there. "How did I look at you?" You ask.
"Differently." He simply stated, maybe because usually you look with admiration and a bit of lust while now you were looking at him like at a teacher for the first time.
"Well you are about to ruin two evenings a week for me by making me study." You remark.
"Is that how you see spending time with me? Am I ruining your evening right now?" He teased.
"You know what I mean, this Lupin isn't the same as profesor Lupin." You say adding emphasis to professor.
"I am the same person Y/N. If you're afraid that I'm going to be making you write essays and do homework you're mistaken, I promise I'll make the evenings fun." He says in his teacher tone. Maybe it was the mischievous energy from planning a prank that allowed you to say what followed maybe it was purely forgetting he's not your friend but you replied with. "Fun evenings? What does that mean?" You watched him swallow getting a bit uncomfortable and not knowing how to answer. "I mean don't treat it like a punishment. I'm just trying to help." Your brain went straight to replying with something inappropriate about getting punished but you held your tongue as you didn't want to push it too far.
"I hope you don't think I hate you, I really enjoy our talks." You say. I really only came here to talk to you, I feel like smoking on a empty stomach will make me feel worse." You we're over sharing now but he didn't seem to mind.
"I watched you get carried out by the Weasley twins before dinner, the whole school did." Lupin remarked unamused making your face go red.
"Yeah they were messing around and wanted to go talk as they said I've been too busy with lessons this year."
"They sound like a bad influence," He said sternly before pausing and thinking. " keep them around sometimes you need friends like that." He added.
"Profesor you're great at encouraging bad behaviour." You say laughing.
"Friendships like that are sometimes very important, if only you knew what I got up to when I was your age." He said with a soft reminding smile.
"And what would that be?"
"I can't say, I'm your teacher after all." He added a wink at the end which you didn't know the meaning of, but all you did know was you wouldn't find out anything more about his past.
NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote
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starryevermore · 2 months
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the house of snow (13) ✧ coriolanus snow
the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au | pinterest board| ao3
pairing: king!coriolanus snow x fem!reader
series summary: the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his. 
chapter summary: coriolanus doesn’t understand why you've shut him out. 
word count: 1,878
series warnings?: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later
chapter warnings?: coryo’s pov, a shorter chapter rip, coriolanus the cat is a menace™, pet name (petal), not proofread
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Coriolanus Snow could not even begin to understand you. Where had he gone wrong? In the days leading up to the wedding, you were so affectionate with him. It felt like the difficult part of this was finally over. Sejanus, his only real competition, was long gone. You were finally calling him Coryo. You spent time with him without complaint and, dare he say it, even seemed to enjoy his company. Yet, it all came crashing down so quickly, so suddenly. 
What had happened last night? Coriolanus spent the entire night wracking his brain, going through each part meticulously, trying to determine where he went wrong. Had he missed some sign that you were uncomfortable? Had he unintentionally pressured you? What had he done to deserve the cold look you gave him? For you to accuse him of only caring about himself? Coriolanus couldn’t deny that he could be a selfish man, but for you? Did you not realize the lengths he would go to, to make you happy? 
When morning came, you said hardly a word to him. The most he heard of your voice was when you were speaking to your lady’s maid, telling her of any questions you needed answered about the trip to the cottage. Coriolanus nearly lost his temper then. What had he done that was so wrong, so hurtful, that you were cutting yourself off from him? He had half a mind to bring up the agreement made during your courtship, about how you would behave, but he thought better of it. You never responded well to his attempted pressuring. To do so now might push you away. Might irreparably damage this relationship. 
Now he sat across from you in the carriage, traveling through the countryside, still just as clueless about what he should do. Worse yet, every time he attempted to speak, that damned Coriolanus the Cat hissed at him from its perch on your lap. 
“The cottage has a library,” he tried, hiding his flinch as the cat swatted its paw at him. “Not nearly as impressive as the one in the palace, of course, but I believe it should be satisfactory during our stay.”
Finally, finally, you looked over at him. Your eyes were blank, completely void of emotion. Your voice was the same when you said, “Placating me with a library worked once. I will not allow it to work again.”
Then you turned back to the window, watching as the flat lands of the Capital swooped into rolling hills. Coriolanus the Cat hissed at him again, as if it was in agreement with you. 
“Petal, tell me what I’ve done wrong. I don’t wish for this to be an unhappy marriage. I…” He swallowed thickly. This would pain him far more to say than it would for you to hear. “I would be alright if you never love me the way I love you. But I don’t want you to think that this is a political affair. Or that I care more for Panem or the want of an heir more than I do you.”
You stared at him for a long moment. It almost felt like hours. Coriolanus wanted to say more, but he fought against his instincts. If anything could be repaired from this relationship, he could not force you into it. 
“How long until we arrive at the cottage?”
“Three hours, assuming there are no delays.”
“Very well then.”
You plucked a book from the stack beside you. Coriolanus should have known you wouldn’t want to speak to him when he watched as a half dozen books were placed in the carriage.
You didn’t say anything to him again. 
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He should have known that bringing up the possibility of a delay would, in fact, cause a delay to occur. When the dark gray clouds began to dot the sky, Coriolanus had hoped that the storm would pass by. But with each rumble of thunder and flash of lightning, it became more and more obvious that luck was not going to be on his side. Even nature was turning its back on him. Finally, the coachman announced that it would no longer be safe for the horses and that he would be stopping at the next available inn. 
The cat hissed at Coriolanus as if he was the one to cause the storm. 
Coriolanus stepped out of the carriage first, his nose wrinkling as he stepped straight into a mud puddle. Was the entire universe against him now? Could he not even have a nice, clean pair of shoes? He bit back his disgust as he reached for your hand. Admittedly, he was surprised you took it, allowing him to lift you out of the carriage and far away from that damned puddle. 
“Coriolanus hates the rain,” you said, reaching out for the cat. 
“Yes, I do,” he muttered. He took the cat before you could, not wanting you to get scratched up by the beast. Coriolanus pulled back his damp jacket and tucked the cat inside, careful to make sure not a single droplet of water hit it. The cat hissed and clawed still, not impressed by Coriolanus’s attempts to keep it (mostly) dry. Once secured, Coriolanus reached for your hand again. You didn’t shake him off. “Come, let’s get inside before we get sick.”
The innkeeper was already waiting with a bundle of towels when Coriolanus led you inside. Coriolanus passed one to you, before taking another to dry off the hissing beast. The innkeeper flinched, but held his own tongue lest he offend his King or Queen. Coriolanus nearly laughed at the idea of you chewing the man out for offending your precious beast of a baby. Once the cat was bundled and in your arms, Coriolanus took a towel for himself. 
“I apologize, Your Majesty,” the innkeeper began to say, “but there is only one available room left for tonight. Had I known that you would be stopping in, I would have made sure there would be plenty of room for your staff. Unfortunately, all that is left beyond that room is the stables.”
So Coriolanus would be sleeping in the stables tonight. Wonderful. He just hoped you would be gracious enough to wait until after the innkeeper was gone to kick him out of the room and reveal the already apparent marital problems. 
“That will be quite alright,” Coriolanus said. It wasn’t. But part of being King was knowing when to play the part of a courteous monarch. “If you could please show us our room, that would be most appreciated.”
“Of course, Your Majesty,” the innkeeper said. Then he turned his gaze to you and bowed his head. “And if I may, congratulations on your nuptials.”
Coriolanus half-expected you to spit in his face for mentioning your marriage. Instead, though, you offered a smile. “Thank you. And thank you for being so accommodating to us.”
“It is my honor, Your Majesty. Now, if you’ll follow me.”
The entire walk up to the room, Coriolanus braced himself to be thrown out. Even as the footman followed behind, carrying a trunk with his belongings, he nearly said to not bother. He was sure that, within a few minutes, you would be demanding a room alone. He could only hope that you would be kind enough to minimize the embarrassment.
Yet, when he found himself alone in the room with you, you did not make any demands, save for asking Coriolanus to help you out of your gown. He undid the fastenings, but turned away when you stepped out of the gown and into a nightdress you plucked from the trunk. 
Fine. If you weren’t going to make the demand yourself, he would go. “I shall see you in the morning, petal,” he said. 
You turned, but where he expected your brows to be furrowed, your face was blank. “You think you are to sleep in the stables?”
What game were you playing? Last night, you couldn’t get away from him fast enough. But today, you are confused as to why he might leave? “After last night, I thought you would want some privacy.”
You looked out the window, at the torrential downpour and at the stables that felt like a million miles away. “I am not cruel, Coryo.”
Not like me, he finished. Instead, he said, “I don’t understand you.”
“I believe part of your agreement was that I refrain from causing any scenes. I can think of no greater scandal than me throwing you out to spend the night with livestock the day after our wedding.”
“There is no one here to spread a scandal.”
You rolled your eyes. “Much of our staff is here, as is the innkeeper. They talk as much as the ton. If I make you sleep in the stables, by the time we return from our honeymoon, the Capital will be in disarray that the seeming lovebirds are already on the outs. Whether they blame you or I, I cannot say for certain. But it would ruin the public perception of us.”
Coriolanus was proud that you had thought these things through, but part of him nonetheless ached over you allowing him into your bed only so as to avoid scandal, not because you enjoyed his presence.
With nothing more to say, you climbed into the bed, laying down as close to the edge as you could manage without falling to the floor. Coriolanus let out a sigh and then, too, got ready for bed. Once dressed in his nightclothes, he crawled into bed. You shuffled even closer to the edge. He worried that you might fall if you moved any further away. 
Was he truly so repulsive that you’d rather risk falling to the floor than share a bed with him? 
And though he knew better, he still reached for you. All he wanted was to hold you. He had been deprived of that last night, deprived of the ability to tell you how wonderful you are, how he enjoyed being your husband. A part of him hoped that the forced proximity might make you more willing to be held. 
You pushed his hand away. “Not tonight, please.”
“Petal…”
“I shall fulfill my duty some other time. Today has been too stressful.”
“You are more than a duty. And I want more from you than that. I want your love, but if you can’t give me that, can’t I at least hold you?”
You started to move, and, for a moment, Coriolanus thought you might burrow yourself in his arms. But instead, you picked up that damned cat from the floor and dropped it between the two of you. “Hold your son.”
Coriolanus the Cat hissed at him. Coriolanus (the human) had half a mind to hiss back. Instead, he rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling, wishing for sleep to come. 
It never did. 
Not with the beast looking at him like he was a meal. Not with his wife acting like this is all a transactional affair. And certainly not when, some minutes had passed and you allowed yourself to cry, perhaps taking his stillness as a sign he had gone to sleep. 
Oh, where had he gone wrong? 
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jinhyun · 10 months
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↬part one.
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"these days, i haven't been sleepin'
stayin' up playin' back myself leavin'"
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader
genre: written series, angst, fluff, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, she fell first but he fell harder, yearning, mutual pining, non-idol au, baker!y/n, movie producer!hyunjin.
word count: 4.3k
warnings: y/n has self-sabotaging tendencies, cursing, mentions of alcohol, eventual smut, mature content, MINORS DNI!!!
tag list: open. send me an ASK to be a part of it, otherwise i might miss it. i will only be adding people who are willing to reblog the chapters and/or comment on them, because it does take time out of my day to tag everyone and likes or straight up cricket noises do nothing for me in return if i'm honest.
a/n: so, here's the first part!! idk how long the rest will be but i feel like 4k is okay for now :'). some things were just lightly acknowledged in this part but don't worry, everything will be explained better later on. i hope you guys enjoy!
feedback is very dearly appreciated<3
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"You look terrible".
You jolted at Seungmin's remark, feeling your heart race after he had crept up behind you while you focused on neatly placing the freshly made cupcakes in the showcase.
Without saying a word to him as you tried to calm down from the sudden scare, your eyes focused on the large Caramel Macchiato he had placed by you on the counter, smiling softly at his silent show of affection.
"A 'hello' would've been appreciated too, you know?" you hummed, straightening up and leaving the half-emptied tray on the counter before your eyes met your friend's unamused ones.
"I see you every day. Thought we were past hello's by now" he shrugged.
"Are we?" you scrunched up your nose.
"I mean, we should be because it's tiresome to—Just drink your damn coffee".
A throaty laugh escaped your mouth at his sudden exasperation, not waiting another second to follow his order and take a long sip of the beverage he had prepared for you, feeling your muscles relax as soon as the sweetness of it reached your tastebuds.
"Is it good?" he asked.
You rolled your eyes. "You already know the answer to that, you cocky bastard".
"Doesn't hurt to hear it every once in a while" he smirked proudly.
"What did I even do to deserve a coffee made by the Kim Seungmin anyway?"
"Oh, don't act like you don't ask me to make you at least three of these every day".
"Ask is the keyword" you pointed out, taking another sip of it.
He sighed, finally dropping the playful mood and leaning against the wall. "You seemed out of it…"
"Aww, were you worried about me?" you brought a hand to your chest.
"Shut up," he mumbled. "You didn't even hear me come in. I was literally right next to you making your coffee and you wouldn't notice. And your face is…"
"Do I look that bad?" you wondered.
Seungmin shook his head no, yet the concern on his face was clear. "Just tired as hell. Did you get any sleep?"
"Not really," you sighed, leaving the cup on the counter and running your hands over your face. "I'd say I got like three hours of sleep at most".
"Something happened?" he tilted his head.
You lowered your head, and that was all it took for him to read you like an open book.
"Did you get the invitation?"
You felt the air being punched out of your lungs at Seungmin's question. You had hoped that particular question wouldn't be asked at all that day. You had hoped the topic as a whole wouldn't be brought up. But it was Seungmin, you should've expected him to be up-front about it.
You sighed, nervously wiping your hands against your apron before turning around to head towards the cash register — with absolutely no other purpose than to avoid this conversation.
"Did you?" he pushed it, following hot on your heels. "Y/N, come on".
You said nothing.
The answer was so obvious, you wondered why he wanted you to confirm it to him so bad.
Had it been facing upwards all along, you wouldn't have felt your heart being stabbed by a thousand knives.
Of course you had gotten the invitation. It had been lying on the floor of your apartment all day, patiently waiting by the door for you to arrive.
It had been the first thing that caught your eye as soon as you entered your place, and you cursed at whoever decided to slide it downwards under the door. Had it been facing up, you wouldn't have felt your pressure drop the moment your eyes fell on it. You wouldn't have felt your knees go weak and tremble as you reached down to pick it up, and you wouldn't have felt your face heat up at the same time that tears welled up in your eyes.
Because, for the five seconds that it took for you to kneel down and pick the delicate creme envelope up, and for the ten others that it took for you to gain enough strength to flip it over in your shaking hands, you believed the names on the invitation would be the same two that were the cause of your heartbreak.
Hyunjin and Minji, you said under your breath — cursing once again, over how even their names sounded perfect next to one another.
Please, don't be Hyunjin and Minji.
Please.
As soon as you flipped it over, you felt pathetic. How scarred did you have to be for your first thought to a wedding invite being that Hyunjin and his best friend were getting married?
It had been nearly eight months now since you broke up with him, you would've thought your body wouldn't get such a reaction out of a simple envelope on your floor. And the rational part in you wanted to believe he wouldn’t be marrying someone else when it hadn’t even been a year yet. You knew you wouldn’t; not when you were nowhere near halfway there when it came to getting over him and moving on.
Pathetic, that's how you felt.
Wanting to forget about it all, you threw the invitation on your key table before taking your shoes off and heading to bed. Thankfully, this time it laid facing upwards and wouldn't bring you any more heartbreak, since it now displayed the names of the lovely couple who was about to get married and would like you to join them on such a special day.
Felix and Hyejin.
"Mhm…" you hummed in response after what felt like an eternity.
That was as much of an answer as Seungmin would get from you.
"Are you going?" he inquired.
You shrugged. "Don't know".
"What do you mean you don't know?!" he scoffed. "Y/N, it's Felix and Hyejin we're talking about. We've been friends since the beginning of college. Fuck, we’ve been friends with Hyejin since high school!"
"So?" you helplessly tried to fight back, knowing well enough you were at disadvantage here.
"So?!" Seungmin grew frustrated. "I get that you and Hyunjin broke up and I've been very understanding when it comes to not pushing you into hanging out with our group anymore, but it's our friends' wedding we're talking about this time".
You sighed, leaning against the counter in search of some kind of support. "I know…"
"You can't avoid us forever".
"I haven't avoided you" you pouted.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure the only reason you didn't push me away like the rest was because we're literally linked by a contract and have to see each other at our coffee shop on the daily".
"Come on now, don't be like that" your voice weakened, reaching for his hand and holding it in between both of yours. "I can't even remember what my life was like before we became friends, I wouldn't have pushed you away out of everyone".
Seungmin's semblance softened — both at your words and at the miserable look in your eyes. In the end, he was all you had, and although honored, he couldn't help but feel his chest hurt over how you had ended up here.
Not even a year ago, you used to have a team of ten people rooting for you. You used to have a perfect support system, and you used to be a part of it for your friends, too. Now, you had managed to close yourself off and push everyone away. You had cleared the way for Hyunjin and Minji to take over, not wanting to make things awkward after everything that went down. After all, you were the one who ended things, it was only fair for you to be the one to take a step back.
Now, it was only him to you. Y/N and Seungmin, just like it had been up until high school.
With a small smile, he squeezed your hand tenderly. "I really think you should go…"
You bit your lip, looking down to your black shoes, which suddenly seemed like the most interesting view in the world.
Truth be told, you wanted to go. For Hyejin and Felix, you wanted to attend. Being there with them on the most important day of their lives would be a dream come true. But you just weren't ready to face their guests — two of them in particular.
"Will you at least think about it?" he pushed it once more when he realised you might not speak up again. "Before sending your confirmation back by the end of the week".
"Will he…" your voice came out of your mouth before you could stop it, still not being able to look up. "Are they…" you sighed, feeling like you might break down from the thought of it alone. "Are they going together?"
It wasn't necessary for you to say their names, for Seungmin knew well enough who 'they' were.
"You made me promise not to ever tell you about them, no matter how hard you begged".
"That was before knowing I'd might have to face them again".
Seungmin smiled reassuringly. "I don't know, if I'm honest".
The glare you gave him was enough to have him step back and hold both hands up as a sign of peace.
"Cross my heart!" he promised. "Lix and Hye had talked about getting married here and there but the invitation took us all by surprise, you would've known if you hadn't left our group chat".
You smiled melancholically. You used to love that group chat, it had been one of your main sources of sanity all throughout college, and later on the source of many callouts from your friends when Hyunjin and you started dating and inevitably became that couple.
You missed it. You missed your friend group, all of them, even Minji, as sad as it was. But being in the same group as her and Hyunjin was something you were not strong enough to make it through, so you left.
"I'm not sure I should go then…" you confessed. "Imagine if they went there together. I would break down right there, Min".
"Aww, no, come here" he pulled you into a hug, tightly wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your face into his chest. "I doubt they'll go together, but if they do you can leave. I just want you to show up for Felix and Hyejin, even if you literally only go there to congratulate them and then dip".
A muffled chuckle was heard against his chest. "That would be a bit rude, don't you think?"
"Then stay" he pulled you back by your shoulders, locking his eyes with yours. "You don't even have to look their way. We can go together, I'll make sure to block his view whenever he's within your visual range".
"You'd do that for me?" you pouted.
"Of course, I'll be like your personal bodyguard".
"You should probably gain a bit more muscle for that" you teased, poking his bicep.
"Shut up" he offendedly let go of you.
"You don't have to sacrifice your plus one for me, though" you let him know. "You can take whoever you want with you, I'll be fine".
"Well, it's not like I've got a lot of people lined up to date me, do I?" his snarky remark earned a laugh from you. "Plus, we'd kill three birds with one shot".
"Isn't it supposed to be two?" you tilted your head.
He shook his head. "Three".
You motioned for him to go on with his point.
"The both of us would get a date and wouldn't be put in one of those lame tables for single people so we can mingle" he cringed, and you giggled. "I'd be able to keep you from interacting with Hyunjin and Minji all day long. And, we could make Hwang a lil jealous while at it. I know he was lowkey always jealous of me being close to you".
You snorted, finding his third point absolutely ridiculous. "Oh, come on. What was there to be jealous of?"
"Should I be offended?"
"You're an idiot," you laughed. "But I will take you up on your offer".
"So you're going?!" he cheered up.
"No, I mean… I still have to think of it, but if I do, we should go together".
"Okay then, I guess I'll be waiting" he sighed, quite over dramatically at that. "Please let me know when you make up your mind, so I know whether to check the plus one option or not".
"Will do" you smiled, going back to the long-forgotten cupcakes on the counter in order to keep placing them in the showcase. "Now go see if everything's in order so we can open for the day".
"Yes, boss".
You rolled your eyes. "For the millionth time, I'm not your boss. We're literally associates".
"Yeah, and we're both the bosses here" he reminded you, stealing a salted caramel cupcake from the tray. "Would really appreciate it if you called me boss around our workers from time to time".
"Just go, big boss" you humored him.
Seeing him give you the middle finger while he stuffed his mouth and walked away, you knew the day would go by smoothly.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
When you arrived home later that night, you were confident to check your assistance on the invitation. Seungmin's pep talk that morning had really done the trick, and the fact that it had been a very busy day at the coffee shop hadn't left that much space for overthinking throughout the day.
So, when you walked into your apartment that evening, you confidently grabbed the envelope you had thrown to the table by the entrance the day before and made your way to the desk inside your bedroom.
Taking a seat by it, you allowed yourself to pay attention to the details on the envelope for the first time. Violet had always been Hyejin's favourite colour, and you couldn't help but smile when you saw the few touches of it on the creme paper. Their names were delicately written in cursive with a black pen right in the middle, and it looked so perfect that it actually had you wondering whether it had been written by hand or in a computer.
Just like Hyunjin and Minji, Felix and Hyejin were, too, names that you considered to look perfect together. You wanted to believe Hyunjin and Minji weren't actually meant to be, though — unlike Lix and Hye, who were so fucking perfect for each other, that it only took you one minute with them the day you all met to realise they were meant to be.
Trying to erase the melancholic smile from off your face, you grabbed a black pen and opened the envelope for once and for all.
The words on the paper that informed the details of when and where the event was taking place went right through your head as you searched for the small square you would have to check in order to attend.
You were going.
Yes, you were going.
That's what you repeated to yourself like a mantra while your mind fought with your body, as the still hand holding the pen wouldn't come down to check the goddamn 'I'm attending' box.
You were going.
You had told yourself you were going.
But, after staring blankly at the paper on your desk for five minutes without being able to move, you came down to the conclusion that you couldn't bring yourself to write down on it.
Not when you were reminded of who you might bump into if you ended up attending.
No matter how hard Seungmin tried to block your view, no matter how hard you tried not to look around for him and have tunnel vision for the groom and bride standing on the aisle only, you knew you would somehow end up caving in.
Because no matter how hard you fought it, your eyes would always look for him in a room full of people. And you knew that if you looked and he was with her, your heart would break all over again and you would not be able to control the tears that would come rolling down your face in an instant.
Even if they were not a couple, even if they did not attend as each other's plus one, you knew you would break down at the most minimal of their interactions — because Hyunjin was no longer yours, and he had been hers first.
Granted, they had never been physically involved —as far as you knew and as far as you wanted with everything in you to believe—, and you had always been too scared to ask Minji if she ever had feelings for him, but Hyunjin did have feelings for her. To make matters worse, he used to have them up until right before you and him got romantically involved.
"She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on" Hyunjin said one night.
You had all been drinking at Minho's on a Friday night, just for the sake of having a good time as the best friends you were — all eleven of you.
Hyunjin was on his third drink already and could feel his eyes becoming heavy, but even then, his eyes would light up at the sight of Minji. Your heart tightened at the realisation, having to remind yourself that it was just a crush and you needed to let go of it before you ended up hurt.
You were well aware of it, but it was hard to let it go when you were sitting down next to him on the couch and his knee was ever-so-naturally touching yours. It was hard to let go of it when the two of you got along so well and would spend hours just sitting beside each other talking about anything and everything at the same time.
And it was hard not to feel your chest hurt every single time he would steal a glance towards Minji, who kept laughing at anything that Han said as they talked by the kitchen's entrance.
It hurt, because he looked at her like she held the stars in the sky, and you wished he would look at you the same.
You wished he would look at you like that. Period.
Not her. Only you.
But he did not. You could tell the difference in his chocolate eyes when they focused on you and when they focused on her, and it hurt the same every single time.
"Why don't you tell her?" you asked regardless, trying your best to push your feelings away.
Hyunjin looked at you as if the most stupid of ideas had just come out of your mouth — and, in a way, it had. "We've been friends since we were twelve, there's no way".
"She's gonna find out eventually if you keep saying those things out loud when she's in the same room" you shrugged, bringing your cup to your mouth, quietly sipping down on your beer.
"What? Did I say something? What did I say?" he silently freaked out.
A bitter smile curved up your mouth, which was thankfully covered by the cup still pressed to your lips.
Hwang Hyunjin was so in love with his best friend that he didn't even realise when he called her the most beautiful woman his eyes had ever seen.
You wished he could ever feel that way about you, but you knew he wouldn't. Between Minji and you, you knew his heart would always choose her. And it was okay. After all, you only had a crush on him. You could make it go away any time.
Oh, how wrong you were. And how you wished it was just a crush.
How you wished you had actually put some effort into making it go away when you had the chance, instead of only letting it grow bigger and stronger by the day.
But not falling for Hyunjin was one of the hardest things you had fought against, and you failed oh-so-miserably at it.
It was his way with words and how he made you feel like the most special person in the world before the two of you were even a thing. It was the way he made you feel like no one else but the both of you existed. The way he would stare and not even try to play it off. The way he would out of nowhere say the sweetest of things to you and expect you not to become a blabbering mess in front of him.
How he would Facetime you at any time of the day just to check up on you and tell you about the plot he had randomly came up with while doing the most mundane of chores; and how he'd show up at your place with your favourite drinks and food, only for the latter to inevitably go cold, as he always seemed to arrive in the middle of your baking sessions, which resulted in him becoming your personal assistant whose commissions would be paid in all the pastries his stomach could handle.
Everything was too perfect for you not to fall head over heels for him.
The darkside of it all was that you only got to experience all that when Minji went abroad for one semester.
He didn't have her anymore, and suddenly he noticed you.
It was as if a switch had been turned off and just like that all the attention he paid to her was now focused on you. It almost felt like he was looking for a replacement in the meantime, and you were too over the moon to realise. Until she came back, and everything you had built together came crashing down.
And maybe it was your fault for letting your insecurities win over the love he claimed to feel for you, but it was hard —if not impossible— for you not to feel like you had just been there to temporarily fill a void.
As soon as she came back, you felt threatened. The second his eyes laid on her and they hugged like they were each other's oxygen after being at the verge of drowning, you knew your days together were counted.
You should've stopped it all back when it was just a crush, when she still hadn't left and you didn't have the chance to have Hwang Hyunjin's attention on you in all its splendor yet.
Maybe then the two of you wouldn't have ended up getting together when she was away. Maybe then you wouldn't have gotten so goddamn insecure when she came back and they inevitably became attached to the hip all over again, like they always were.
Maybe then you wouldn't have gone through the hardest of breakups and the most painful of heartbreaks.
No matter how convinced you were that leaving him was the best you could've done to keep your sanity, you couldn't help but feel like it was not the best choice for your heart.
Ever since you walked away that December night, it felt like something was missing, like you were in a constant state of waiting for something to arrive at your doorstep but it never would.
It was almost comical, how no matter what decision you made, whether you stayed with him or not, your heart would break regardless. If you stayed, your heart would keep hurting every single time you saw him and Minji together. If you left, your heart would hurt over the loss of him.
In the end, you just had to choose the lesser evil. And fuck, letting go of him hurt so damn much you wondered if it was the lesser evil at all.
You wished you could erase that night from your memory. The words you said to push him away and the ones he said to keep you close, the sound of his voice breaking with each sentence leaving his mouth, his gloomy, red eyes looking at you like you had just ripped his heart apart, the endless tears staining those rosy cheeks of his you had just been covering with kisses one day ago.
Everything about it, about how you walked away, you wished you could forget.
It was all on you. You hurt him, and would never forgive yourself for it, no matter how much you convinced yourself it had been the best choice for you.
He had fought for you until the end, and you did not look back from your decision once.
You had lost sleep for weeks after that, and then last night you could not bat an eye as you went through all the possibilities that would come with you attending the wedding. Over and over, you wondered whether you would be able to handle seeing him again after all this time.
Overwhelmed by all the memories and what if's that had been unleashed inside your head by simply staring at that one piece of paper, you took a deep breath and put the pen down.
Although Seungmin’s pep talk had worked wonders to help you get through with the day, and although it had managed to convince you for most of it, you realised it was not a decision you could make that easily. Not that day, at least.
With a heavy heart, you stood up from your desk and decided to make yourself some tea in hopes to ease your mind — leaving the invitation laying there in the darkness of your room, once again left to be forgotten.
You still had the rest of the week to think this through.
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tag list: @brinnalaine @slut4colinbridgerton @sherryblossom @svintsandghosts @phenomenalgirl9 @meloncremesoda @jxcesstuff @nhyunn @armystay89 @babrieeee
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lady-arc-art · 2 months
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THEORY: “Welcome Home, my son…”
For a while I wondered why puppets are used specifically to help tell the story of this ARG? Then it was brought to my attention from another Welcome Home fan that maybe there are some parallels to the story of Pinocchio. In versions of the story, Geppetto had a real son that passed away and from his grief he created a wooden puppet that looked like his son, who would later become Pinocchio.
I also think it kind of is that way because there’s a big emphasis on family and children/babies in this update. With Howdy’s family coming over for the Homewarming, Julie and Frank trying to get everyone to be quiet so they don’t wake up the flowers and bugs that are hibernating (which is something parents do when they don’t want any loud noises that could wake up a sleeping baby), and the commercials targeted towards children, also Frank singing a lullaby and Wally singing a song about children going to a place called Toy Land and never leaving.
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Then it hit me, sorry if any of this sounds fanfic-y or if I’m reaching a bit, but this is what think could be going on.
In the early-mid 60s, Ronald Dorelaine was a children’s entertainer, specializing in puppetry. He ran a troupe with some of his other puppeteer friends called “The Playfellow Puppets” and they would put on little puppet shows as part of the children’s theater slot at the local community centers.
The cast of characters included (and in order of creation): Julie Joyful (she was the first created since she’s a simple hand rod puppet), Frank Frankly, Eddie Dear, Sally Starlight, Howdy Pillar, and Poppy Partridge.
Since a part of me feels like almost everyone else was created before Wally and Home also it would make sense if Poppy was kind of “new” since she’s the most complex puppet to operate.
Ronald Dorelaine had a young son who would often tag along during his father’s performances, and his son’s named was Walliford, but sometimes his dad would call him “Wally.” Walliford was very fascinated with his father’s work and the characters he created, and one of his favorite things to do was draw and paint, hoping that someday he would create something when he grows up just like his father. Walliford even helped Ronald come up with a new character for “The Playfellow Puppets.” Barnaby B. Beagle. A blue dog that was inspired by one of his son’s drawings.
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Which would explain this.
Ronald’s puppet shows started becoming so popular that it even started gaining attention from producers of a local tv station (sort of similar to PBS) where they offered Ronald the idea to turn his puppet show into a television series. Ronald took up on the offer, and the show began to develop. However a tragedy would soon happen….
Ronald was a heavy smoker (hence why there is a a big emphasis on cigarette ads in the recent update):
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One day when trying to discard a cigarette before Ronald had to leave the house (possibly to go to a last minute meeting with the producers that would be helping him develop his new tv show). However he was unaware that the cigarette was still lit, and it set a fire to his home. Ronald was safe because he wasn’t in the house at the time of the fire, but his son Walliford was nowhere to be found and his body was never recovered so he’s presumed dead.
(Probably hinted at when Home’s eyes turned red in the commercial compilations)
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I also think maybe Eddie’s puppeteer was a witness or somehow involved with this incident (possibly because he agreed to watch Walliford while his dad went out) since I noticed during his breakdown, everything turned bright red and Eddie looks like he feels guilty about something, hence why he’s sweating and Home appears to be starring him down as if he did something.
From his grief and in order to cope with the loss of his son, Ronald created a new character as a tribute to him. Wally Darling, and from there the plot of the show changed. The show would now be about a neighborhood, all of the previous characters would be neighbors with Wally Darling, who would now be the lead of the show. Ronald also added some traits that were present in Walliford, such as his love for art and his friendship with Barnaby (who was Walliford’s favorite of the group) for the new Wally character.
Then for a last minute edition, Ronald included a sentient home for Wally to live in. The Home was meant to keep Wally the puppet safe and to watch out for him, which was something he wasn’t able to do for his son.
Hence why the title of the show changed to “Welcome Home,” since to him he wanted it to feel like his son now has a second chance at life and he’s finally back home where he belongs. Almost like saying “Welcome home, my son.”
However none of this was enough for Ronald, even though he created a new character to keep Walliford’s memory alive, it was hard for him to find a puppeteer to play Wally because it wasn’t the same. All he really wanted was his son back and he would go to whatever means necessary even if it means going to the extreme. He later came across “the entity” and made a wish for Wally Darling to become real (like how Geppetto wished for Pinocchio to be real and The Blue Fairy brought him to life). And with that his wish came true. Wally was now sentient without the use of puppeteer.
I kind of believe this to be the case because Wally to me feels like the odd man out, everyone else feels lively and zany since they’re real people, while Wally just feels like a blank slate, with the way he speaks sounding very monotone. Here there was a bit of an innocence to Wally since he’s always learning things for the first time and asking questions about certain concepts and feelings, since he was literally a puppet brought to life and “the baby” of the group. However the producers, and parents watching the show didn’t think it was odd since they thought Wally was like this since he was meant to be a character that children can project themselves onto.
However what everyone didn’t know is that the entity that helped bring Wally to life manifested it’s way into the show possessing The Home puppet, and since Wally had no one attached to a real person playing him, the entity used Wally as a vessel to carry out their agenda. Day after day, the show started to go more and more off the rails, but what was really happening was through Wally the entity started to brainwash each of the puppeteers into believing that they were the actual characters, possibly by using the sleeping pills advertised in the commercials, or there was foul play on Ronald’s end and he gave all his puppeteers the sleeping pills to “put them out of their misery.”
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By 1974, Ronald tried to put a stop to the entity, and he had no other choice but to end the show and destroy all the evidence that it ever happened. Ronald himself also began to slowly disappear from the public eye and he hasn’t been seen since then.
For years “Welcome Home” has gone on being a lost media, until now.
That’s not the end of story, because it turns out the real Wally Darling, Walliford Dorelaine, is actually still alive, but he has amenesia from the incident and he was no memories of his previous life. Doesn’t know what his real name is (it probably started with a W) or who his parents were, which is why he was never brought back to Ronald. By the time Walliford grew up, his friends started talking about this mysterious puppet show that was on TV years ago called “Welcome Home” which was kind of like Sesame Street, but they all thought it was some kind of urban legend. Then suddenly Walliford started getting all these tattered artwork and pictures of merchandise from the show they were talking about, and he showed it to his friends and together they formed The Welcome Home Restoration Group to try and uncover the mysterious Welcome Home show.
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Walliford however started experiencing strange feelings both physically and mentally. There were times when he doubted if the show was even real, but whenever he did have any doubt, he had dreams and hallucinations of Wally Darling trying to communicate with him through the phone and he also starts seeing all these strange video clips from the show itself sprinkled throughout the website that he and the team built. The team however started growing concerned for Walliford thinking that he “lost his mind” so they kindly tried to distance themselves from him while they are trying to rebrand the site after seeing that Walliford was trying to communicate with what he believed to be Wally Darling haunting the site, before they shut it down.
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This only caused Walliford to create his own website with his own evidence, since it seems like his own restoration team is starting to mistrust him, and now he’s going to get to the bottom of this all by himself.
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But what they all don’t know is that Walliford’s connection to “Welcome Home” goes much deeper than that, as it’s in his blood.
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