#ada tucker | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uncpanda · 9 months

Text

Blood is Thicker than Water: Chapter 20

AN: Not going to lie. I STRUGGLE writing wedding scenes. However, I really love how this chapter turned out. Instead of dragging it out, we get snippets. I love that about this. Please leave feedback.

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Master List

Guest List:

“Four hundred and thirty-six people.”

Rafa stares at you. He’s been sipping from that cup of coffee for over two minutes now. You lean forward and say it again, “Four hundred and thirty-six people.”

He finally puts the cup down, “I really don’t see the problem.”

You scream in frustration and stomp right out of the apartment.

The moment the door closes Rafael looks at Benny and asks, “She realizes I have a big family right?”

Wedding Party:

“So that gives me Rita as my best woman, and Ed and Eddie as groomsmen.”

“And I have Liv as my maid of honor.”

Rafa stares at you, “That means the sides are uneven.”

“So?”

“They can’t be uneven.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Why not?”

“It won’t look right.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Your fiance sighs, “What about your friends from college?”

“Most of them are already married and have kids. Plus they live in different states. That’s not fair to ask them.”

“Friends from childhood?”

“I hung out with Elliot’s kids. I haven’t talked to them in years, andI don’t really have a desire to do so now.”

“So this is just how it is.”

“Unless you want me to ask your mother?”

“Nope. We’re good.”

The Venue:

“What do you think?”

You look around at the garden. It is perfect for a springtime wedding. Even without the flowers in bloom, it’s gorgeous.

You look over at Rafa, his smile is stretched across his face. He’s done good. Amazing really. There’s just one problem.

“It’s not going to fit four hundred thirty-six people.”

Your fiance scowls, “We can figure it out. Some people can stand.”

You cross your arms, and lean forward, “That’s against the fire code counselor.” you point towards the plaque that reads a max of 300.

He throws his hands up in frustration, and finally says the words you’ve been waiting to hear, “Fine! I’ll make cuts.”

Ring Bearer:

“He needs a part in the wedding!”

“I’m not disagreeing with you.”

“You said no.”

“I said no, because I already told my sister Noah could do it, and he’s our nephew.”

“Well of course Noah is a ring bearer, I’m just saying Benny could be one too!”

“There’s also the fact that your grandmother might pass out if she sees a dog in the processional. We’re already not getting married in the neighborhood church. She nearly cried when we told her that.”

“She loves Benny!”

“I know, that’s why he can come to the reception and take pictures with us. I already talked to the venue and our dog walker.”

“Oh. Well, okay then.”

Shopping:

“So how did you manage to convince mama Barba and Abuelita and the rest of his relatives not to come today?”

You take a sip of the champagne in your hand, “I told them the truth. This is a you and me thing. No one else allowed.”

Liv smiles, “Well, it means a lot that it’s just us.”

“What do you think of these?”

You and Liv turn together and watch as Ed and Noah come out together. They’re dressed in matching tuxes. You and Liv melt. Noah is absolutely adorable, and Ed actually cleans up pretty good. While Rita is Rafa’s best woman, Ed and Eddie are his groomsmen, and Noah is the ring bearer.

After you’re all done cooing at Noah, Rafael finally steps out of the dressing room. He looks drop dead handsome in his tux. You feel your eyes go wide, and then he gets a little smirk on his face. You know you’re not living this moment down.

Music:

You stare at Rafa. He’s trying not to laugh. You can’t blame him. “She’s going to kill us.”

You smile, “This song comes from the first movie we ever watched together.”

“We’ve already found a way to work quotes into the wedding. If you walk down the aisle to this song, your sister might just kill us.”

You shake your head, a serious look coming over your face, “No she won’t. She knows why I love this movie, why I love the book.”

Rafa looks serious now too, “I think it’s perfect.”

Dress shopping:

“No,no, no, no, no! What did I tell you about off the rack? I said absolutely not! Where is your manager? I helped him evade a racketeering charge, he owes me!”

You sip on champagne and look at your sister. She has that look on her face, “At least it wasn’t a murder or rape charge.”

She nods in agreement before asking, “How did Rita end up on this chopping trip again?”

“This is apparently the best wedding dress shop around. She knows the owner . . . apparently rather well. She’s trying to help.”

A second later a terrified manager and a ranting Rita pass you by.

You both watch them go. You’re happy to say you don’t find your dress in that store.

Dress Shopping Part 2:

The day you find your wedding dress, you’re not expecting it. You’re less than five months away from the wedding, and you’re panicking a little bit. You KNOW it takes time to order a dress. Rita’s told you about it five million times.

You’re walking Benny when you see it. A small bridal shop, with a pretty dress in the window. You stare at it for several seconds before you call your sister. She answers on the first ring, “This better be an emergency. I’m in the middle of a case.”

“I think I might have found my wedding dress.”

There’s a moment of silence, “What’s the address, I’ll be there ASAP.”

You rattle it out just as an employee sticks her head out, “Hi there. Would you like to come in?”

You look down at Benny and she smiles, “He’s welcome to come in too. I love dogs!” You go in.

By the time Liv arrives, Benny is on his back getting belly scratches from the staff while you’re in the dressing room being fitted into your dream dress.

Liv stares at your goofy, three legged dog for a second before she calls out your name. You step out a second later.

You watch her eyes go wide, as she studies you for a second, “That’s it.”

You nod, “Yeah.” There are no tears. It’s just a comfortable feeling. This is your wedding dress.

The Night Before:

The night before your wedding is spent at Liv’s apartment. Ed and Noah head over to your place to spend time with Rafa and Eddie. It’s just the two of you. You put on face masks, paint your nails, and watch Disney movies. It reminds you of one of the best parts of your childhood.

It’s as you’re sitting on the couch that Liv says, “I’m so happy for you. You know that right?”

You smile, “I know.”

“He’s a good man.”

“The best in my opinion, though Ed gives him a run for his money.”

She smiles at that, “I truly think, you’re going to be really happy together.”

“I know so.”

With that, she pulls you in for a hug.

Right Before the Wedding:

You don’t actually feel nervous until about half an hour before the wedding. Your makeup and hair is done. You probably should have been in your dress by now, but you’re still in your getting ready outfit. Things are a bit behind schedule. Noah had a melt down, your sister has cried no less than three times, and Abuelita and Lucia have been bickering with each other. You haven’t seen Rafa. You’re not sure why you’re sticking to this stupid tradition, but you are.

You’re watching the chaos with an observant eye when someone taps you on the shoulder. You spin around to see your sister standing there. She tosses her head to the side and you follow her outside. The sun is shining and the March air is only a little chilly. You close your eyes and allow yourself a minute. When you open your eyes, you see Liv smiling at you.

“What?”

“It’s just crazy. How Lewis,”

“May he rot in hell,”

“Lead to all of this. You moving back and meeting Rafael. Me and Ed connecting, getting married, and having Noah. We’re getting those happy endings we dreamed of as kids.”

You hug yourself and look at the ground for a little bit before you look up, “Did I ever say thank you?”

“For what?”

“For raising me and loving me when you didn’t have to?”

Your sister hugs you, “You never have to thank me for that. You are one of the best joys of my life.” You smile at that.

Walking Down the Aisle:

You’re nervous, but you’re allowed to be. You’re in your dress, your veil is attached, and everyone has walked down the aisle except you and Liv. You look at your sister. She’s dressed in a black dress. She has once again avoided color.

She holds out her arm to you, and you take it. You close your eyes, and you count to three. The music starts: the instrumental Dawn from Pride and Prejudice; the first movie you and Rafa watched together. The movie you two still watch together.

You start to walk. It’s slow, and thanks to the three hundred and twenty three people (Rafa was able to cut it down) you can’t see Rafael yet. You do, however, see Uncle Don, and Finn, and Munch. You smile at them.

And then you turn the corner of people, and you see him. Rafael is standing there. He’s dressed in his tux. His hair is perfectly styled. His eyes are focused solely on you as though you’re the only thing he sees. You feel yourself start to speed up, but your sister grounds you like she always does.

When you finally reach him, you feel your breath leave your chest. And as you take his hand, everything else fades away. It’s just you and him. Just like it’s supposed to be.

#rafael barba fanfiction #ada rafael barba #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfic #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba reader insert #law and order fanfiction #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order special victims unit #olivia benson #ed tucker #noah benson

62 notes · View notes

irlpretear · 3 months

Text

100 trans/genderqueer musicians

Bands

Against Me! (rock, folk punk) (x)

The Oozes (punk) (x)

The Hirs Collective (metal, grindcore) (x)

GEL (hardcore punk) (x)

Urn (hardcore punk) (x)

The Black Dresses (noise pop, hardcore hyperpop) (x)

Party Ghost (rock) (x)

Lagrimas (hardcore punk, scream punk) (x)

Doll Skin (rock) (x)

Dazey and the Scouts (rock, indie) (x)

G.L.O.S.S. (hardcore punk) (x)

Dog Park Dissidents (punk rock) (x)

She/Her/hers (rock) (x)

Deli Girls (hardcore electronic) (x)

Dream Nails (punk rock) (x)

Sarah and the Safe Word (rock, dark cabaret) (x)

Pinkie Promise (punk rock) (x)

B. Fraser (emo) (x)

Newgrounds Death Rugby (emo) (x)

Scowl (hardcore punk) (x)

Feminazgul (black metal) (x)

Sports Bra (dream pop, light rock) (x)

Club Sofa (indie pop) (x)

The Cost ov Living (grindcore, harsh noise) (x)

Kuromy (punk) (x)

The Sonder Bombs (indie, pop) (x)

Lidocaine (rock) (x)

I'm letting unseen forces take the wheel (cybergrind) (x)

Gum Disease (punk) (x)

Cam Girl (rock, trash rock) (x)

Gully Boys (grunge pop) (x)

Arcadia Grey (sparkle punk) (x)

Schmekel (folk punk) (x)

Destructo Disk (punk rock) (x)

User Unauthorized (hardcore punk) (x)

The Spook School (indie pop) (x)

Pinkshift (emo) (x)

Glass Beach (emo) (x)

Butch Baby (light rock) (x)

VIAL (indie punk) (x)

Sister Wife Sex Strike (folk punk) (x)

homewrecker. (metal, hardcore punk) (x)

Mega Mango (indie rock) (x)

Keep For Cheap (prarie rock) (x)

Steam Powered Giraffe (cabaret, steampunk) (x)

Thotcrime (grindcore, cybergrind) (x)

Whirlybird (indie pop) (x)

Kampsport (hardcore punk) (x)

Um Jennifer? (alt-rock, punk) (x)

Scarlet Demore (alt-rock) (x)

HappyHappy (folk, folk-punk) (x)

Queen Zee (punk) (x)

Grumpy Plum (slop pop) (x)

Cheap Perfume (punk) (x)

Pollyanna (power-pop, rock) (x)

Ballista (metalcore) (x)

Faetooth (fairy doom, metal) (x)

Lacerated (death metal) (x)

Fortuna Malvada (hardcore punk) (x)

Peach Rings (bedroom power-pop) (x)

Solo Artists

Laura Jane Grace (rock, folk punk) (x)

Left at London (pop) (x)

ZAND (pop, ugly pop) (x)

Ada Rook (hardcore electronic) (x)

Ms. White (pop) (x)

Rett Madison (indie, folk) (x)

Murder Person for Hire (folk) (x)

Backxwash (rap, industrial hip hop) (x)

LustSickPuppy (electronic, rap) (x)

Babylungs (electronic, rap) (x)

Human Kitten (folk punk) (x)

Harley Poe (folk punk) (x)

Ewy (emo, folk punk) (x)

Averstaskta (instrumental) (x)

Andie Schoen (indie) (x)

Elliot Lee (dark pop, electronic rock) (x)

Urias (hip hop, ballroom) (x)

Twink Obliterator* (cybergrind) (x)

Rio Romeo (cabaret punk, indie) (x)

Knife Girl (art pop, indie) (x)

Alexander James Adams (folk) (x)

Starmaxx (pop) (x)

Sofya Wang (pop, alt-R&B) (x)

Boy Jr (indie/alt pop) (x)

Medusa (revenge pop, hip-hop) (x)

Mal Blum (singer-songwriter, folk) (x)

Gina Young (riot grrrl) (x)

Petra Fiyd (indie pop) (x)

awfultune (bedroom pop) (x)

Quinn Hills (alternative pop) (x)

Femtanyl (electronic) (x)

Vivivivivi (electronic, glitchcore) (x)

Lilac Boy (glitchcore) (x)

Rosie Tucker (indie rock) (x)

Ryan Cassata (singer-songwriter) (x)

Pain Chain (noise, synth) (x)

In Love With A Ghost (electronic, lo-fi) (x)

Alice Longyu Gao (hyperpop) (x)

Prophetic Nightmares (ambient synthwave) (x)

Saint Wellesley (indie folk) (x)

#music #trans art #punk #queer art #some of these are incredibly obvious and some are very not so #also i say trans/genderqueer bc some of these artists are not explicitly out but still fall under the umbrella of queer #if i made a mistake and one of these artists is actually cis let me know too #im not adding to this list nor is it just a top 100 btw. just a selection #if you ask where is (popular artist) im gonna block you

18K notes · View notes

april-is · 28 days

Text

April 13, 2024: Broken Periodic, Maya C. Popa

Broken Periodic Maya C. Popa

No one who has ever had a childhood wants what’s happening. No one who has ever wondered anything: where the rain’s headed in her steel hooves. Questions wrongly put swell like moths under a light. On the streets, everything looks human. You forget certain animals are bloodless injured. You must imagine some other color that means hurt. At night, you sleep with something like your gifts: to anguish and ascribe a language, music. To slice a fig the long way and linger. To grieve for a country. To grieve without a country to grieve.

Also by Maya C. Popa: Wound is the Origin of Wonder

Today in:

2023: Speech to the Young: Speech to the Progress-Toward (Among them Nora and Henry III), Gwendolyn Brooks 2022: We Lived Happily During the War, Ilya Kaminsky 2021: Hurry, Marie Howe 2020: Oh, Robert Creeley 2019: It Was Summer Now and the Colored People Came Out Into the Sunshine, Morgan Parker 2018: In Two Seconds, Mark Doty 2017: Aubade, Louis MacNeice 2016: Before, Ada Limón 2015: Sign for My Father, Who Stressed the Bunt, David Bottoms 2014: Ullapool Bike Ride, Chris Powici 2013: Clothespins, Stuart Dybek 2012: Ghost Story, Matthew Dickman 2011: Graves We Filled Before the Fire, Gabrielle Calvocoressi 2010: On Being Asked To Write A Poem Against The War In Vietnam, Hayden Carruth 2009: The Bear-Boy of Lithuania, Amy Gerstler 2008: Today’s News, David Tucker 2007: All There is to Know About Adolph Eichmann, Leonard Cohen 2006: Gamin, Frank O’Hara 2005: [this is what you love: more people. you remember], D.A. Powell

#who put this brain inside of me?#poetry #poem #national poetry month #grief #maya c. popa

11 notes · View notes

throuple-tournament · 1 year

Text

Throuple Tournament Info

Rules

Submissions are closed.

Polls will run for a week and I will give you at least a days notice.

I will not answer asks while a poll is up unless it's propaganda or a question about the polls.

I will not answer asks about discourse. I might think about what you said but I don't want discourse on this blog.

I will also not respond to rude or mean asks.

Please send asks that are propaganda. Also, please send asks with your fan art or your favourite screenshots that you wouldn't mind me using for polls.

Please send in a description of your favourite throuples if you want to; these will be used in the polls.

Please do not be rude about other people's interests or the other throuples in the tournament. You can talk about your preferred throuple without talking badly about the other/s.

Please don't jokingly threaten others or joke about suicide. I've noticed that some polls I follow have had this issue and I don't want this to happen on my blog.

I don't know when I'm going to have the first polls ready as I'm going to be getting busier from this week onwards but I'll let you guys know.

Match Ups Under Keep Reading

Group 1

Marco/Star/Tom vs Marco/Janna/Jackie from Star vs the Forces of Evil

Adaine/Fig/Ayda vs Em/Sofia/Dale from Dimension 20

Kala/Wolfgang/Rajan vs Lito/Hernando/Daniela from Sense 8

Willow/Luz/Amity vs Willow/Hunter/Gus from The Owl House

Raz/Lilli/Dogen vs Ford/Lucretia/Otto from Psychonauts

Finn/Rey/Poe vs Rex/Anakin/Padme from Star Wars

Makoto/Sayaka/Kyoko vs Hajime/Nagito/Chiaki from Danganronpa

Ryunosuke/Barok/Kazuma vs Clay/Apollo/Klavier from The Great Ace Attorney

Jason/Roy/Koriand'r vs Dick/Barbara/Koriand'r from DC Comics

Marius/Ivy/Raphaella vs Orpheus/Narcissus/Eurydice from The Mechanisms

Group 2

Selina/Harley/Ivy vs Tim/Bernard/Kon from DC

Sam/Tucker/Danny vs Vlad/Jack/Maddie from Danny Phantom

Rose/Lissa/Natalie from Vampire Academy vs Bonnie/Caroline/Elena from Vampire Diaries

Jay/Nya/Cole from Ninjago vs Red Son/Mei/MK from Lego Monkie Kid

Rilla/Arum/Damien from Penumbra Podcast vs Howard/James/Cel from Rusty Quill Gaming Podcast

Haru/Legosi/Louis from Beastars vs Ranpo/Poe/Mushitarou from Bungou Stray Dogs

Adrien/Marinette/Kagami from Miraculous Ladybug vs Anne/Marcy/Sasha from Amphibia

Ichika/Nene/Kanade vs Rui/Mafuyu/Tsukasa from Project SEKAI

Parker/Hardison/Elliot from Leverage vs Neal/Peter/Elizabeth from White Collar

Yamato/Ace/Deuce from One Piece vs Arthur/Lancelot/Guinevere from Arthurian Legend

Group 3

Ichigo/Minto/Retasu from Tokyo Mew Mew vs Hikaru/Lala/Yuni from Star Twinkle Precure

Kyle/Rogelio/Lonnie from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power vs Pearl/Rose/Greg from Steven Universe

Rapunzel/Eugene/Cassandra from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure vs Zuko/Sokka/Suki from Avatar: The Last Airbender

The Doctor/Rose/Jack from Doctor Who vs James/Bones/Spock from Star Trek TOS

Nancy/Steve/Jonathan from Stranger Things vs Merlin/Gwen/Arthur from Merlin (2008)

Rachel/Chloe/Max from Life is Strange vs Thanatos/Zagreus/Megaera from Hades

Vincent/Victor/Albert from Vincent: The Secret of Myers vs Rinne/Himeru/Niki from Ensmeble Stars!

Jack/Kirtash/Victoria from Idhun's Memories Series vs Qibli/Winter/Moonwatcher from Wings of Fire Series

Ludivine/Rielle/Audric from The Empirium Trilogy vs Vlad/Nathan/Ursula from Hunger Pangs:True Love Bites

King Kelp/Lord Cabbage/Bagel from Cucumber Quest vs Camilla/Nyra/Dendro from Muted

Group 4

Neptune/Uranus/Pluto from Sailor Moon vs Aira/Rizumu/Mion from Pretty Rhythm

Mickey/Goofy/Donald from Disney vs Pepe/Sylvester/Penelope from Looney Tunes

Draculaura/Clawdeen/Frankie from Monster High vs Ruby/Weiss/Penny from RWBY

Nathan/Annalise/Gabriel from The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself vs Quentin/Eliot/Arielle from The Magicians

Leon/Claire/Ada from Resident Evil vs Jaskier/Yennefer/Geralt from The Witcher

Abigail/Sam/Sebastian from Stardew Valley vs Candy/Sapphire/Zack from My Sims

Sweet/Capn/K_K from Deltarune vs Shiver/Frye/Big Man from Splatoon

Chris/Millie/Conrad from Chronicles of Chrestomanci vs Sadie/Walt/Anubis from The Kane Chronicles

Rah'oxah/Legzi/Ryjnah from Drawga: Dungeons and Drawings vs Grendan/York/Rose from Drawtectives

Jean/Scott/Logan from Marvel Comics vs Wu/Li/Gao from Iron Widow

Group 5

Yuji/Megumi/Nobara from Jujutsu Kaisen vs Misa/Light/L from Deathnote

Lucy/George/Anthony from Lockwood & Co vs Louis/Lestat/Armand from Interview With A Vampire

Chel/Tulio/Miguel from The Road to El Dorado vs Manolo/Maria/Joaquin from The Book of Life

Henry/Charles/Ellie from Henry Stickmin Collection vs Steve/Alex/Herobrine from Minecraft

Soldier/Demoman/Zhanna from TF2 vs Susie/Magolor/Taranza from Kirby

Morgana/Launchpad/Drake from Darkwing Duck vs Yoo/Han/Kim from Omniscient Readers Viewpoint

Isabela/Merril/Hawke from Dragon Age 2 vs Dorian/Orym/Fearne from Critical Role Campaign 3

Vivi/Arthur/Lewis from Mystery Skulls Animated vs Aizo/Yujiro/Hiyori from Honeyworks

June/Dave/Karkat from Homestuck vs Trevor/Sypha/Alucard from Castlevania

Elizabeth/Jack/Will from Pirates of the Carribean vs Cyrano/Christian/Roxanne from Cyrano (2021)

#throuple #tournament #polls

82 notes · View notes

dr1zzleboy · 1 month

Text

• ──── ⌒⌒⌒︶︶︶︶

WRITE LIST

꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦‧₊˚・

Español: Lista de fandoms para los que escribo junto con sus personajes

English: List of the fandoms for those who I write along with their characters

TWD (The Walking Death)

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋࣭ ⭑

Daryl Dixon

Rick Grimes

Carl Grimes

Negan Smith

Glenn Rhee

Shane Walsh

Maggie Greene

Carol Peletier

Michonne

Rosita Espinosa

Etc.

꒦ˎˊ˗ ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ꒦꒷꒦₊

Star Wars

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋࣭ ⭑

Anakin Skywalker

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Han Solo

Luke Skywalker

Din Djarin/ The Mandalorian

Ben Solo/ Kylo Ren

Padmé Amidala

Leia Organa

Ahsoka Tano

Rey

꒦ˎˊ˗ ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ꒦꒷꒦₊

South Park

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋࣭ ⭑

Team Stan

Stan Marsh

Kyle Brofovski

Kenny McCormick

Eric Cartman

Butters Stotch

Team Craig

Craig Tucker

Tweek Tweak

Clyde Donovan

Token Black

Jimmy Valmer

And more.

꒦ˎˊ˗ ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ꒦꒷꒦₊

JJK (Jujutsu Kaisen)

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋࣭ ⭑

Gojo Satoru

Suguru Getō

Kento Nanami

Ryōmen Sukuna

Toji Fushiguro

Megumi Fushiguro

Yuji Itadori

Nobara Kugisaki

Shoko Ieiri

Maki Zenin

Etc.

꒦ˎˊ˗ ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ꒦꒷꒦₊

CODW (Call of Duty Warzone)

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋࣭ ⭑

Simon "Ghost" Riley

John "Soap" MacTavish

König

Kim Hong-jin (Horangi)

Keegan P. Russ

Alejandro Vargas

John Price

Valeria Garza

Etc.

꒦ˎˊ˗ ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ꒦꒷꒦₊

Resident Evil

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋࣭ ⭑

Leon S. Kennedy

Luis Serra

Carlos Oliveira

Chris Redfield

Albert Wesker

Ada Wong

Jill Valentine

Sheva Alomar

Claire Redfield

Ashley Graham

Karl Heisenberg

Etc.

꒦ˎˊ˗ ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ꒦꒷꒦₊

DMC (Devil May Cry)

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋࣭ ⭑

Dante Sparda

Vergil

Nero

Lady

Etc.

꒦ˎˊ˗ ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ꒦꒷꒦₊

Arcane

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋࣭ ⭑

Jinx/Powder

Vi/Violet

Mel Medarda

Caitlyn Kiramman

Viktor

Ekko

Jayce

Finn

Silco

Vander

Sevika

꒦ˎˊ˗ ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ꒦꒷꒦₊

Streamers

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋࣭ ⭑

LATAM

Roier

Spreen

Quackity

Cellbit

Pac

Missasinfonia

ElMariana

Rodri Carreraaa

Robleis

Etc.

ENGLISH

Foolish

Philza

Fit

Slimecicle

Fundy

Markiplier

EUROPE

ElRubius

Vegetta777

Etoiles

Luzu

Jagger

Baghera Jones

Etc.

꒦ˎˊ˗ ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ꒦꒷꒦₊

And a lot more of fandoms and characters, but I'm going to leave it here or it would be a very long post ^^'

Y muchos fandoms y personajes más, pero hasta aquí lo voy a dejar porque si no sería un post muy largo ^^'

Any doubt or question, send dm o/

Cualquier duda o pregunta manda mensaje o/

#male reader #streamers x male reader #twd x male reader #the walking dead x male reader #starwars x male reader #star wars x male reader #south park x male reader #jjk x male reader #jjk x male!reader #male!reader #male!y/n #cod x male reader #dmc x male reader #resident evil x male reader #arcane x male reader #character x male reader #carl grimes x male reader #craig tucker x reader

10 notes · View notes

crashing9against9the9walls · 9 months

Text

10 fictional characters who I think can vogue

Title says it all and I will not take no for an answer.

1. Loki from Marvel Cinematic Universe

House: Miyake-Mugler (or he'll create his own House, idk)

Style: New Way

2. Theo Raeken from Teen Wolf

House: LaBeija or Nina Oricci

Style: Vogue Femme

3. Johanna Mason from The Hunger Games

House: Ninja

Style: New Way or Vogue Femme

4. America/Alfred Jones from Hetalia Series

House: None/007

Style: Old Way, New Way, and Vogue Femme

5. Omar Shanaa from Élite

House: Milan or Balenciaga

Style: Old Way or New Way

6. Dick Grayson/Nightwing from DC Comics

House: Ninja, Evisu, or Miyake-Mugler

Style: Vogue Femme

7. Anne of Cleves from Six The Musical

House: St. Laurent or Escada

Style: Old Way

8. Craig Tucker from South Park

House: Balenciaga or Juicy Couture

Style: Vogue Femme

9. Thresh from The Hunger Games

House: 007 or Lanvin

Style: Vogue Femme

10. Helena from Dislyte

House: Ada or Juicy Couture

Style: Old Way

23 notes · View notes

rahleeyah · 1 year

Note

Maybe doesn’t mean anything significant but we saw liv eating twice during the crossover, like eating a meal, taking a minute in the chaos to nourish her body, and I’m like… Elliot’s back and she’s finally not cringing in his presence and she’s eating !!! Idfk

I am always down to talk about Liv and food and I love this thank you for bringing this to us 💜

I have a number of disparate points I'm about to make and then I'll connect the dots between them at the end buckle up

So first. We have talked before about Liv's relationship with food; in s1 one, Elliot brings her food, shares his food with her, remarks on the lack of food in her fridge. We don't really see Olivia eat without Elliot there. Nobody looked out for me the way he did; that includes Olivia. Olivia doesn't really take care of herself. He does. Olivia has a lot of big feelings about what she deserves and what she can ask for and relying on people, but Elliot feeds her, and she lets him.

Post Elliot, the first time we see Olivia attempting to cook for herself - something we previously did not see her do, Olivia of the empty fridge and "I only need one tomato" - she is home in her kitchen and Nick brings her bad news and she throws her pan into the sink, disgusted, having given up on cooking, on feeding herself, having not eaten. No one looked out for her like Elliot did, and Elliot is gone, and she is trying, but even she cannot do for herself what he did for her.

She moves in with Brian, and references his cooking. I am a little bit vague on the source of the food for the trauma response dinner parties - resident trauma response dinner party expert @serenabenson may recall who cooked the food or if it was bought - but the fact that she served food at all shows its importance; those dinner parties are a ritual. They are part of building a new Liv, and building new relationships with the squad.

And then Noah comes along, and Liv starts to cook. For him. It is an act of care for someone else. It isn't for her.

Now, keeping all of that in mind, let's switch gears to this thought: outside the dinner parties, the squad doesn't really eat together in 2.0. throughout 1.0 EO are getting hot dogs off carts and going to diners for breakfast and sharing takeout at their desks, in the kitchen, upstairs, with the ADAs in their offices. They're in the locker room together, they're sleeping in the cribs. They're bringing each other doughnuts and coffee and ordering pizza and passing sandwiches across desks. Uncle Munch keeps pudding in his desk for Elliot's kids. It spoiled, but still. There is a domesticity, a camaraderie, to 1.0 that 2.0 seriously lacks; Cragen kept a damn cot in his office. All of this makes the precinct feel like home, makes the squad feel like family.

There are moments in 2.0 where Amanda is sitting in the kitchenette eating a salad, or Liv is abusing the vending machine; there is one scene of Fin sleeping on a bunk in a room that also has a coffee machine in it. Ten years, one moment of someone sleeping at the office, and it comes late in the game. 2.0 has them going out to bars more - there is the whole forlini's thing - but it is not the squad. It is not home. They do not linger there long. They do not eat together. They go their separate ways from that place. We see Liv go out to dinner with Tucker, once, and Liv supposedly has a deep connection to the restaurant from the year we all fell down - which is imo a good epi - but when did she ever go to that restaurant? We don't know it.

The precinct is not a home, in 2.0, and the new characters do not have the same loyalty to it, or to each other. They care, of course they do, about one another, about the job, but it is not the same. The bonds are not as profound. It is Olivia and Fin who have the strongest connection to one another and that was forged in the old days. Everyone else is sort of transient.

And no one, no one, is sharing Olivia's life and burdens the way Elliot did. No one is gently waking her from sleep in the cribs - which do not appear to even exist anymore - no one is lingering with her after dark over cartons of lo mein. It wasn't important to the new management to show that, and they didn't.

Enter dgraz, who is an out and proud fan of 1.0. the snappy dialogue is back, the cases are tighter, the characters are more layered, and Olivia and Elliot are eating, again. The same food, from the same place, in her office, together. Elliot and Olivia are eating together at a diner, again, and he is gently teasing her. There is, finally, someone who cares for Liv again. She never left the 1-6, but it feels like she's coming home.

It matters. It matters that Olivia has eaten more meals with Elliot than with anyone else. It matters that they share space, and time, and simple human vulnerability. The little things become huge things.

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

30 notes · View notes

guyfawkesreborn · 7 months

Text

Hypothetically speaking, how much does a one month old remember?

To give a better example, let’s say this one month old liked to hang out/sleep in a kangaroo wrap while her father helped out with planning evacuations for several Assassins pinned down by Templars. And maybe her father, out of frustration and not having a normal sleep schedule since the baby arrived, said a few words he’d rather his daughter not know yet. Or maybe a lot of words. What are the chances that when Ada….I mean, said totally hypothetical baby…learns to talk, she’s going to sound like Malcolm Tucker from “The Thick of It?”

I am so fucked, aren’t I?

#feel free to interact #roleplay account #unlikely assassin #assassins creed #adventures of the murder family

11 notes · View notes

kittycatlukey · 1 year

Text

My screenshots of Deek🏍️🧟🫶

15 notes · View notes

weerd1 · 6 days

Text

ENT Rewatch Starlog, 5 May, 2024- Final Entry: Episode 4.03 “Home”

Archer and his senior staff are welcomed home where the Captain gives a speech reminding everyone of the 27 crewmembers lost in the operations to stop the Xindi.

He prepares for a board of inquiry regarding the mission while reconnecting with Erica Hernandez, former romance who is about to take command of the NX-02 Columbia.

T’Pol asks Trip if he would accompany her to Vulcan and he agrees. They arrive at T’Pol’s childhood home where she is surprised to find her mother, T’Les, at home.

T’Les informs her that she has stepped down from the Vulcan Science Academy, and is herself surprised that T’Pol has brought a colleague home. Later alone, she mentions to T’Pol that Koss, her betrothed, has been reaching out.

Reed, Mayweather, and Phlox are in a bar in San Francisco when they are accosted by humans who display ignorant prejudice against Phlox (because prejudice, xenophobia, and judging someone by race or species is ignorance and if I have to tell you that I wonder what the hell you’re doing watching Star Trek in the first place) which results in a fistfight. Phlox demonstrates an old Denobulan defensive posture inflating his face, which scares off the human dipshits. Later, when invited to the surface by Hoshi Sato, Phlox chooses to stay on Enterprise.

Ambassador Soval seems to be out to get Archer during his inquiry, specifically about the Vulcan ship that was destroyed during their Zombie-like attack. Archer loses his cool and is ordered by Admiral Forrest to take some time off. He decides to go rock climbing but is joined by Hernandez. In the course of their climb Archer begins to display the inner turmoil he’s been dealing with since his actions in the Expanse, and tells Hernandez that he wants to be away form her for reminding him of what he used to be. She offers to help him find that man again together, and they kiss.

Tucker is beginning to grow on T’Les, particularly after doing some repairs around home. Koss arrives and asks to speak to T’Pol. He reveals he will not break their betrothal, offering even to resort to the Kal-If-Ee if necessary—the fight to the death for the bride. T’Pol continues to reject him until he tells her that her mother was asked to step down from the academy because of T’Pol making enemies in the Vulcan High Command. He says his influential father could restore her status.

T’Pol takes Trip to the statues near the Vulcan Forge and tells him she will marry Koss. Later when confronted by T’Les, Tucker admits that at that moment he realized he loves T’Pol. T’Les says T’Pol should know that. Tucker remains silent however, and tells T’Pol how wonderful she looks. She steals a quick kiss, and then the marriage proceeds.

Archer completes his hearing and stays after to apologize to Soval. Soval states he has listened to T’Pol and reviewed the case. He is grateful to Archer for saving not just Earth but the Alpha Quadrant from the Expanse, and shakes his hand.

This is a very good episode giving us the closing to the Xindi storyline we needed. I know it’s beating a dead horse, but something like this I believe would have served the end of Voyager well. I especially appreciate the post-trauma reaction Archer is going through (something I have also experienced after my own service in war zones) and if I had to complain about anything in this episode it would just be that it could have used one more scene of him finding a little more reconciliation. The implication that he will be better because he doesn’t have to face it alone is great, but I think a little too much of the healing happens off screen.

Let’s however hear it for Ada Maris as Erika Hernandez (though she goes un-named here…and that’s dumb). Dispelling the old TOS line about the realm of being a Starship Captain being for men is great; I know we see her again, but it’s a shame season 5 didn’t let us see some more. I am very aware of the Beta Canon fate of the NX-02, and the evolution of her character, but would love to have some more just plain Captain Hernandez stories.

The Tri’Pol stuff here is the kind of thing that propels a thousand shippers (me too) and is so well played for the tragedy. As much as I praise Ada Maris as Hernandez, let’s also applaud Joanna Cassidy (a science fiction legend herself) as T’Les. Not only do I immediately buy her as T’Pol’s mother, but she brings a calm a subtlety to match Jolene Blalock, that was too often replaced with arrogance for Vulcans on this show. But this?

This is a knife to the heart in the best way.

The introduction of a human xenophobia is good here, and wow do I wish it were less relevant to us today. I know this will play out later in the season with Earth First movements, etc, but even when this aired, I think it said a lot about what happened in the US after September 11th with many darker skinned people being assaulted in a blanket reaction to actual terrorists (my then brother-in-law among them). I wish we’d learned more in the last 20 years, but also hope we’ll learn more by 2154. Watching the news though admittedly gives me some of Archer’s pessimism.

But this brings it to an end; I have spent the last few months rewatching and reviewing the Xindi storyline, and for the most part find it holds up pretty well, perhaps even better than I received it then. There are certainly some missteps along the way, but it has definitely reinforced my appreciation for this show as a much stronger member of the Trek family than me as a dumb-ass continuity-obsessed gate-keeper two decades back might have thought. Glad I got better, and I hope we all can, honestly. There is new Trek I love, and some I think really misses the mark, but in the end Star Trek is ALWAYS relevant, and all Star Trek speaks to someone. I can’t fault that. Gives me faith of the heart.

If you’ve read these and enjoyed them, thank you for coming along with me. If you've like to find the rest they are all tagged "enterprise rewatch" and "xindi saga" on my blog.

(Images taken from the main website for @trekcore; I am happy to remove the images if asked.)

#star trek #star trek enteprise #enterprise rewatch #enterprise season 4 #xindi saga #nx-01 #Enterprise

3 notes · View notes

faithandfairies · 2 years

Text

Law & Order SVU Season 23 Finale; I Hope the Barson Ship Will Finally Sail

Okay, so I just finished that Law & Order SVU season 23 finale and Oooooooh.

It pretty much covered everything I’ve been saying and thinking about this show.

Well, about Benson, I guess.

I also don’t think I’ve ever seen her this self-aware before.

But, you know, that’s necessary when you actually want to move forward.

There’s this quote that says something like “It’s fun to be cool and aloof until you realize that if you want love you’re going to have to make a fool of yourself and ask for it.”

And Lord, is that true.

Anyway,

I get why Benson is angry. I think she sees Barba going against her wishes as a boundary overstepped. And he has always been the one who she could trust not to do that. So that’s fair.

And it’s also that a friend and someone she loves defended a murderer when he didn’t have to which in itself is an act she hates.

And then on top of that the murderer almost personally hurt her by hurting Elliot through killing Kathy.

But then again, the fact that Barba did go against her wishes in this case to me only underlines how much he loves her and that she can trust him to do what’s best for her. Even if she doesn’t want other people making those decisions for her, she does deserve someone who has her best interests at heart even when she doesn’t.

The fact that she’s angry about it, very angry in fact, and not indifferent to me is another sign that she loves him.

But I think that part of the reason she might be so angry at him is because she didn’t expect what she sees as betrayal. With Elliot I would say she’s used to his nonsense and enables it. With Barba she isn’t so she holds him to a higher standard, which I think is good. Good for the both of them and will be good if they decide to pursue a romantic relationship.

But honestly, I think if you pull back all the layers, the other reason she’s so angry at him is because it’s getting harder for her to ignore his feelings for her. Because with him blatantly telling her he only defended Wheatley to protect her, it doesn’t take a genius to deduce that the reason he would do that is because he loves her. Why else? And she isn’t stupid, far from it, so you know she got the message even though she’s trying to ignore it.

I think it’s probably even more frustrating because she actually loves him. He’s the only person aside from maybe Rollins, that she’s clearly let into her life as far as she has. And she has definitely let him into her heart. She’s been deliberately vulnerable with him in ways I’ve rarely seen her be with others if at all.

And it just, it brings me back to ADA Stone because with Stone, he too was in love with her but made it easy for her to ignore it until he couldn’t anymore. The difference being that I couldn’t see her pursuing anything with Stone and Stone knew it too.

And you know, when Barba and Benson first started working together I watched those episodes and I completely missed the signs initially like I did with Stone. And then I re-watched Barba and Benson’s journey and it was just so obvious, the amount of times he asked her out for drinks before she even said yes, but he never gave up, the way he was always trying to brighten up her day and make her smile.

Even when they first met you could see her reputation preceded her and he was a bit in awe.

The fact that he mentioned her to his mother to the point his mother recognized her name when they met.

The way he looked completely hurt and at his wit’s end when he realized she got into a relationship with Tucker while he was right there. This is when I really and truly knew he was irrevocably in love with her and it actually took me by surprise because he looked like his world was ending when he found out about Tucker.

Barba kind of reminds me of Castle in the Castle TV show where he pursued Beckett, who I always felt was initially based on Benson, for years before she saw him, actually saw him and finally admitted to herself and him that she loved and wanted him.

I feel like Barba is Benson’s Castle. I never thought I’d see the day, but the man has been by her side quietly waiting for her to see him and recognize how much he loves her and actually allow him to love her properly for ages.

Through drinks and conversations and just showing up for her and being a shoulder for her to cry on when she needed one.

And now not only has he told her he was only protecting her through doing the thing that pissed her off at him,

he has legitimately now also told her that he

- misses her

- loves her unconditionally

- will wait for her until she’s ready

(x)

He has also straight up called Elliot a bully, which, the man is spitting facts but in the same breath he has also validated her feelings for Elliot. Barba’s a real one.

Barba, he’s no longer allowing Benson to ignore his feelings for her.

He’s literally telling her he loves her and is asking her to love him back when she’s ready. The man has literally bared his soul to her which in itself is incredibly hard to do but opposite someone who isn’t in a state to receive anything you have to say and might never be again, astronomically hard. But he did it anyway because she’s worth it and he’d be damned if he didn’t paint a full picture for her in what might be his last chance to do so.

Stone told her how he felt and then walked away, not asking her for anything and not waiting for any kind of response because he knew what it was going to be.

But Barba, he knows. He knows her. And so he knows. And he sees a future with her and is willing to wait for it. Wait for her. To be ready.

He’s a man who adores her and would literally do anything for her, but still manages to keep his job and integrity even so, I mean, what more could you want?

I feel like I’m rambling but I just really want this for the both of them. I want him to come back in a more consistent capacity and for them to rebuild their relationship and get together romantically.

And I don’t know that it’s necessary for her to pursue something with Elliot first.

This finale episode it felt like the battered victim was meant to parallel Benson. Where I think she said herself that that woman’s husband kept upending her life by coming back into it. Even more interesting is that this woman kept calling this man who was bad for her back into her life herself expecting him to put the pieces of it back together when he was the one who broke her in the first place.

And I think pursuing something with Elliot would do that to Benson, upend her life.

And she finally, finally has a good stable life.

I just don’t want what, 10+ years of her own hard work putting her life back together after Elliot walked out of it to go down the drain.

Barba brings her peace. Elliot brings chaos.

Look at them. These two dorks belong together and I need them to make it happen for the good of themselves and humankind.

(She said she misses him too so we’re one third of the way there.)

(x)

After thinking about it I have decided to take a step away from this show until it decides who Benson ends up with because I won’t be baited by a straight show. I just won’t do it. Life’s too short.

#law and order svu #svu #barson #benson and barba #rambly post because I have a lot of feelings and I want them to be happy because it's what they deserve #benson #barba

129 notes · View notes

tropes-and-tales-archives · 2 years

Text

Perfectly Imperfect, Chapter Ten

Word Count: 5737

TW: Angst; idiots in love.

AN: Part of a series. The series masterlist here.

You had joked that Barba should look for you on the fifth day, but the reality was that the government moved at a glacial pace. He didn’t even hear about the new positions officially until a few weeks after you stopped to see him.

The positions weren’t posted for another few weeks. Then an absurdly long period of interviews and vetting and more interviews. It was the middle of summer, therefore, when Barba saw you again.

Another evening at work, another unexpected knock at his door. It was you, and you had the same small smile on your face. And he felt the same dip in his gut to see you after so long.

You were in a lightweight grey summer suit, and you had your suit coat slung over your arm. You were wearing a silk blouse with cap sleeves, icy blue, as if you were willing away the current heat wave with a cool color palette. You’d cut your hair at some point – it was cropped short and made you look both more sophisticated and more fragile. More exposed. Barba could see the shape of your skull, the delicate whorls of your ears, the way your slim neck disappeared into the soft silk of your collar.

He started to rise from his seat to greet you, but you waved him off. “Is this a bad time?”

He shook his head and watched as you took the seat across from him. Up close, he could just make out the edge of a scar that crept from under your sleeve – a tangible reminder of the accident that had set you down your current career path.

“How are you?” you both asked at the same time, speaking over each other. He chuckled while you smiled at the discomfiture between the two of you.

“I’m fine, how are you?” you asked in a rush to get the words out, and Barba only shook his head and gestured at his desk, covered in paperwork, as if to say, same as always.

“How’s IAB?” he asked in return. You pulled a face.

“I’m nearing the end of the journey with IAB,” you replied. “I was offered one of the positions with the district attorney’s offices.”

Barba smiled – he already knew it. McCoy had stopped in to talk to all of the ADAs and let them know that they’d made their selections and sent out offers. And Barba’s boss had mentioned how you were the only candidate to come into the interviews with an outline and a detailed plan for ideas about the role.

“Overprepared,” McCoy had said. “But there’s really no such thing in this office.”

“Congratulations,” Barba told you. “I knew you’d get one.”

“I haven’t accepted yet. I wanted to get into the Brooklyn D.A.’s office, but Manhattan made me the offer.” You hesitated before continuing. “I wanted to speak with you before I made a decision.”

“Okay.” He leaned back in his chair and regarded you. “It seems like a better fit than IAB, and it would give you good visibility to other offices. What’s stopping you from accepting?”

The look you gave him was one of pained patience, and Barba realized that he was the reason for your reluctance. There were new four positions, shared between Sex Crimes and Major Case, and while Barba wouldn’t be working with you on every case, the probability of working on a lot of cases together was high. Despite how cool and collected you acted in front of him, you clearly had reservations about being around him more.

“Will it be an issue for you, given our past history?” you asked. You looked at him directly with an expression he couldn’t quite read.

“No,” he replied slowly. “Will it be an issue for you?”

“Maybe.” You sighed and dropped your gaze down into your lap as you studied your hands, fussed with a crease in your pants. “But if the alternative is a career in IAB, then I’m already in hell and things can’t get any worse.”

Barba gave a bark of surprised laughter at your backhanded insult, and you looked up with a smile.

“I’m glad to hear that I’m marginally better than a job under Ed Tucker,” he replied.

You shook your head at him though. “Tucker is actually a really nice guy. You’re only marginally better than search warrant audits.”

“Still,” he conceded. “I’m not the worst.” Then he turned serious as he watched you to continue to fiddle restlessly with your hands. “I don’t want you to turn down this opportunity because of me. Anything I can do to make it less awkward for you, I’ll do it.”

This made you look up at him and smile, and Barba figured he’d do nearly anything to make you smile more.

*****

By late summer, you were in your new job. You shared a giant office with the three other people (Sophia, Benjamin, and Marcus). You had colleagues across the boroughs that you talked with regularly, not to mention the various attorneys and police that you worked with.

You had set hours, were salaried but got overtime after a certain number of hours. You traded in your NYPD badge. You got a sweet new investigator’s badge from the District Attorney’s office, tucked into a leather wallet that you liked to whip out as if you were an FBI agent on TV. And your work paid for a certain amount of continued education credits, so you planned on taking a college class each semester with the idle thought of maybe getting a law degree after all.

The only downside was that you worked in the same building as Barba. You hadn’t worked directly with him yet – Major Case immediately snagged you for a series of armed robberies across the boroughs that you worked on liaising between. Still, you saw him all the time, and every time felt like an ice pick to the heart. Just a thin line of pain, sharp and intense. You tried to keep it professional, and you did manage to keep an even keel around him, but it always took time for you to recover from your little interactions with him.

He had a way of getting stuck in your head like the annoying pop songs that crept into your subconscious. You’d catch a glimpse of him coming out of a courtroom and then spend the entire subway ride home thinking about him. You’d see him come into your shared office to chat with the liaison on his current case, and then your entire weekend would be spent reminiscing about all the nights you spent together.

After the first month, though, you started looking at Barba with your trained detective’s eyes instead of the eyes of an ex-girlfriend.

For a man who left you for the supposed love of his life, he didn’t seem particularly happy. The Muñoz family had fallen off the radar – Alex was serving a light sentence in a minimum security prison upstate, Yelina was in the wind altogether. You assumed you’d see a headline someday about Yelina getting divorced, but it never came. If she and Barba were together, they were keeping an extremely low profile.

And the more you observed, the more you wondered if they were together at all. Barba worked the same late hours. Weekends, early mornings. He ate dinner in his office alone. He rarely smiled, and he seemed to be the same dour man he’d been before you and he started dating.

Your working theory was that Barba had miscalculated. Yelina didn’t reciprocate his feelings, but he had already broken up with you. He had gotten caught out, you figured: alone because he overestimated Yelina’s feelings for him while undervaluing your feelings for him.

Like one of those math formulas. X > Y > Z. You were X, Yelina was Z, and Barba was the Y left without anyone at all.

*****

Was it an issue, having you working in the same organization as Barba?

Yes, it was – because one month passed without any interaction whatsoever.

You always seemed to be monopolized by Major Case, even though the pool of liaisons were theoretically supposed to rotate. Barba always had Sophia or Benjamin – both were capable and a huge asset – but he wanted you.

He had to content himself with just glimpses of you here and there. When he went up to the liaison office, he got to see you. Your desk was in the corner by the door, and even when you weren’t there, he could feel your aura around your desk. You were settled in more there than you’d ever been at SVU: there were framed pictures and a small stuffed Muppet and a cardigan hung over the back of your chair.

Once, when no one was around, he examined each of your framed photos. There was a picture of you from your FBI swearing-in ceremony. One of you at a club with a group of girls, probably friends. And one of you in Colorado, judging from the snowy mountain in the background.

He peered at that one closer: you and four other women. Barba recognized your mother, and he assumed the other three were your sisters. It had obviously been a day skiing, from the faces rosy from exercise and cold mountain air. You were all in full ski gear, goggles perched on your heads as you posed for the camera.

Barba was able to tamp down a lot of his bad feelings, but the photo dredged some of them back up. Your accident over the holidays bothered him. Your mother had told him how bad it could have been; it had been bad enough to crack your crash helmet, and the close brush with death made a chill wash over him every time he thought of it.

And it made him feel guilty too. You shouldn’t have even been in Colorado over the holidays. You should have been in Gstaad with him, skiing all day and making love at night. Instead, he’d been miserable, drinking alone. And you’d narrowly escaped your own end.

-----

It was a Saturday afternoon when he finally got to talk to you again. Barba was working, as usual. The liaison office typically had a person working each Saturday as well, on a rotating basis. Barba checked the schedule – it was supposed to be Benjamin – but when he went up to the office, he found you instead.

You were at the giant whiteboard, sketching out a timeline from a scattering of folders on a nearby table. He had a split second to look you over before you turned to face him: you were in your regular weekend uniform from your days at SVU. You had on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, dressed up with flats and a blazer. You looked almost the same, except for the short hair.

“Hey,” you said in greeting when you saw him.

“Hey.” He looked around the otherwise empty office. “I was actually looking for Benjamin.”

“We switched weekends.” You capped the dry erase marker and set it down. “Can I help you with anything?”

He ignored the question and walked over to where you stood. “What’s all this?” he asked, gesturing at the white board.

“This is a series of thefts across Manhattan, Queens, and the Bronx,” you said. “Grand larceny, and I’m helping the prosecutors coordinate their respective trials.” Barba didn’t miss the gleam in your eye as you explained the crimes – ranging from old furs to estate jewelry to mid-range art pieces. It made him smile to see you happy at work. You turned to glance at him and caught his smile.

“What?” you asked.

“Nothing,” he replied with a shake of his head. “You just seem happy here. Happier than at SVU.”

You looked back at your timeline for a moment before replying. “I am. I know that theft isn’t the same as sex crimes, and I’m not solving anything, but I fit in better here.” You turned to face him. “I’m not getting talked over by Cragan or left behind by Liv.”

“They are a tough group to break into.”

You stepped around him and walked over to your desk. “It is, but I don’t feel so bad about it anymore. The new guy – Carisi? – reached out. We went to lunch to talk about SVU. Turns out I’m not the only outsider looking in. He’s having a hard time too.”

Barba felt an angry flush of jealousy at the thought of you chatting over lunch with the tall blond detective, but he pushed it down. Instead, he followed you to your desk and took the seat you offered. You settled into your own seat and leaned back.

“And I saw Amanda the other day, coming into court.” You circled your arms around your midsection, miming a giant belly. “When did that happen?”

“I don’t know much about pregnancy, but probably seven to eight months ago,” he replied dryly.

You snorted at that, then started to say something before thinking better of it. “I actually…” You trailed off, and Barba noted the faint blush that washed across your cheeks.

“What?”

“I actually caught Amanda and Nick once.” Your face got redder, and you glanced up at him. “I had just gotten off of disability and was on desk duty. I got halfway home and realized that I’d forgotten my phone at my desk. Got back to the precinct and, uh, heard noises coming from the crib.”

Barba scoffed at you. “No….” but you leaned forward.

“I absolutely did.” He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as you told him the story, couching it in the most PG terms you could while your face turned crimson.

“I nearly called you,” you continued with your own sheepish smile. The smile faded then, replaced by an expression close to sadness. To Barba, it was a hint, maybe, at the hurt he had caused. The hurt behind the careful blank expression you had presented in the months after the breakup. “That was my first reaction, to reach for my phone and tell you.”

“I have that reaction all the time,” he replied softly. “I see something or hear something, and I think, ‘I need to tell her.’” When you didn’t respond to this, he let the silence lay for a moment, both of you thinking your own sad thoughts without voicing them to the other. Then you gave a light laugh, breaking the spell.

“Well, whatever. Can I help you with anything since Ben isn’t here?” That professional wall between you again, but a bit of honest interaction before it went up.

It was progress, as far as Barba was concerned.

-----

Then, finally, you had a case with him. It was related to one of your old cases from SVU, so Barba had a reason to pull you away from your grand larceny cases. There was the standard meeting to kick off: Barba and Liv, Carisi as the new lead detective. And you.

And you were currently sitting across from Barba, incredulous as you flipped through the summary.

“This is my old case?” you asked. “A subway masturbator?”

Liv nodded. “Samuel Bevins. The first time, the D.A. declined to prosecute. The second time, he pled out to a misdemeanor. Paid a fine, community service hours.”

“Seems a bit below everyone’s paygrade, even if he’s a repeat offender,” you murmured as you looked through your old notes.

“That’s the thing though,” Carisi broke in. “You wrote in the file that he had the earmarks of an offender who might escalate.”

“And he has?” you asked. Liv filled you in on the new developments (the subway masturbator had been arrested now, almost two years later, as a full-fledged violent rapist). Barba watched you as you listened to the update. You were much the same as you’d been back then, just a nervous overachiever running down small cases that he barely bothered to look at. But there was something different about you too – you seemed more composed now. More assured. You broke into Liv’s spiel every so often to ask a question, and Liv listened to you.

“How’d you know he’d escalate?” Carisi asked, and Barba didn’t miss the regard that the newest SVU detective obviously had for you. The man hung on your every word as you gave him a primer on behavioral analysis.

“We need you to coordinate with the other boroughs to see if they have any unsolved cases that match his M.O.,” Barba broke in, curt. “There’s gaps in his escalation. We have him for three rapes in Manhattan, but Bevins lives in the Bronx.”

You nodded at him. “How soon do you need it?”

“We go to arrangement in two days.”

Another nod, and then a sly smile. “Are you going to approve my overtime, Barba?”

-----

All told, you snagged three more cases in the Bronx and another in Queens. You brought them all to Barba and kept the Bronx and Queens ADA’s in the loop as well, and you helped grease the skids so that Manhattan got the lion’s share of credit and first crack at prosecution.

You checked in before arraignment with a quick meeting with SVU, and Barba didn’t miss the way Carisi smiled at you. He also didn’t miss that you’d already gifted the new detective with a nickname – you called him ‘Jack Rabbit Slim,’ some pop culture reference that Barba didn’t get but that made Carisi blush while he pretended to act mad about it.

Barba realized that you’d moved on, and the nobler part of him was relieved that he hadn’t ruined you for future relationships. He had been damaged by the entire Yelina situation so long ago, and Barba hated to think that his own poor behavior had affected you similarly.

The selfish part of him, though, despaired to have lost you. He thought there would be a possibility to be friends – to get back to that place where you grabbed drinks and he helped you with your school work – but that seemed unlikely now. You kept him at arm’s length. There were little jokes here and there, but that was it.

When Bevins pled out – this time, to a hefty sentence for the multiple violent rapes – SVU went out to celebrate. ��Barba waved off their offers to join them. There was a chance you might turn up to celebrate too, and the last thing Barba wanted was to see you moving on from him.

Instead, he did the unthinkable: he went home early, sick.

*****

Detective Carisi shot you a text mid-afternoon to let you know that Bevins accepted the plea deal and that the judge signed off on it. You were in the Bronx when it came through, and you were still in the Bronx when the invitation to join SVU for drinks after work came through too.

It’s what you had wanted all along – a camaraderie with your coworkers. It came too late though. You were concerned that Barba might be there, and the last thing you needed was to combine alcohol with his green eyes that fluctuated between looking furious and looking like a sad puppy dog’s eyes. You saw the way he watched you and Carisi joke around, and how he made a giant assumption from it.

You gathered up the paperwork from the Bronx ADA and then called Barba. You expected to hear the din of Forlini’s, but when he answered, there was no background noise.

“I have the Bronx paperwork ready for you,” you told him. “All I need is your signature. Can I stop by the office?”

“I’m not there,” he said. “Went home early. Migraine.”

You felt a twinge of compassion for him. Barba got migraines frequently, and he usually powered through them, but if he was home sick, it was a bad one. You could hear how he was slurring his words a little from it already. You’d only ever witnessed one really bad headache, and he had been a pitiful specimen. That time, you had to lie down beside him in his dark bedroom and whisper comforting words to him while you kept an ice pack pressed to the side of his head.

“I can sign them tomorrow,” he said. “Just leave them on my desk.” Then he thanked you and signed off.

If he was home sick, you’d be free and clear to go out for drinks with your former squad. Still, as you made your way from the Bronx back to Manhattan, you felt your compassion for Barba grow. Okay, so you still cared about him. Whatever. But he had sounded so forlorn, you couldn’t help it.

Well, you needed that paperwork signed and couriered back to the Bronx as soon as possible anyway. Stopping in to see him was just you doing your job.

*****

Barba had just thrown up for the third time when there was a knock at his door. He staggered to the door, and he tried to remember if he had ordered something. It was hard to think straight with a bad migraine; his thoughts were focused on the intense pain in his head, and sometimes his subconscious took over and did things without him realizing it. Ordering a greasy burger, sometimes. Drawing a cool bath and then never climbing in the tub, one time.

He didn’t even check to see who it was – he just threw open the door and was surprised to find you standing there. You had a manila envelope in one hand and a giant cup of coffee in the other, and the sudden sight of you nearly made him weep. He never felt so alone as when he was suffering from a migraine, and there you were: the person he wanted most in the world.

You entered his apartment and looked him over. “Oof,” you finally said. “Looks like a bad one.” You handed him the cup of coffee. “It’s a red-eye. Lots of caffeine. Should help a little.”

“Thanks,” he said, his voice rough. He watched as you strolled over to his kitchen table as if you’d never left, and he followed you. You opened the envelope and pulled out three pieces of paper.

“And if I could get your signature on these…” You trailed off and handed him a pen. “I have a courier waiting downstairs. Then the Bevins case is done here and can go to the Bronx.”

Barba took the pen and scrawled his signature on all three pages. He watched you put them away and then turn to leave. He knew it was just the migraine talking, but he felt like if you left then, he’d never see you again.

Your hand was on the door knob when he said, “I’m sorry.” He said it louder than he meant to, and he winced at the volume of his own voice. You only turned and smiled at him.

“It’s fine,” you replied. “I had to come back to Manhattan anyway.”

He shook his head violently, wincing again at the pain the motion jangled against his nerves. “No. I mean, I’m sorry. For everything.” He looked up at you through his bleary eyes, and he couldn’t make out your expression.

“Let me takes these down to the courier,” you said, hesitantly. “Then I’ll…stop back up. Okay?” You turned and were out the door, and Barba only had a few moments to think.

Then you were back, quick as lightning, and closing the door behind you with a gentle click. It hurt to hold his head up, but he did anyway.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I hurt you, and I treated you terribly – “

“Rafael,” you cut in gently. “Do you think this is the best time to have a serious talk?” You tilted your head at him. “You’re slurring your words, and you can barely stand up.”

“Want to get it out – “ but you cut him off again.

“Come on.” You reached out and took his hand, and you tugged him towards his bedroom. “I’m putting you to bed. Have you taken anything yet?” When he muttered that he hadn’t, you added that you’d get him one of his pills.

“Lie down,” you ordered, but he only sat at the edge of his bed and gazed up at you. Throughout your short relationship, Barba had nearly always been in charge, but when he was sick, you took control with ease. One migraine and one short summer cold: he remembered your cool competence and gentle bedside manner as you took care of him. Like you were doing now.

He couldn’t stop himself. He reached out and circled his arms around your waist, buried his face in your midsection. He heard and felt your sharp intake of breath, and then he felt you lay a hand on his head. Sometimes, his migraines started as tension headaches, and you used to knead out the knotted muscles at the base of his neck and in his shoulders.

You didn’t this time, though. You gave him a moment, then gently disentangled him from you. You pushed him back into the bed until he was lying down, and then you disappeared. When you came back, you had a glass of water and a blister pack with his medication, and an ice pack.

“Here,” you said, and you worked the pill out of its packaging and handed it to him with the glass of water. Then you handed him the ice pack, and he watched as you made your way around his room, drawing the shades and plunging it into mostly darkness.

“You need to take better care of yourself,” you chided him. “Drink more water, eat better…”

“I will,” he promised. “Will you…stay with me until I fall asleep though?” He knew it was pathetic, the furthest thing from being tough, begging his ex-girlfriend to stay for a few moments, but he didn’t care. He missed you constantly, wanted a million times to beg you to forgive him. In pain, he just didn’t care to pretend that he was okay without you. He’d let himself feel ashamed tomorrow, when the migraine lifted. Right now, he needed you.

“Please,” he added.

He could feel you looking at him in the darkness, but you finally murmured, “okay.” He felt you crawl onto the bed beside him, and you leaned against his headboard. This close, and in the darkness, he could almost pretend that you were together again: your firm presence, your delicate perfume. And, after a beat, your warm hand on his head, adjusting the ice pack and stroking the back of his head. After another beat, your low voice, murmuring over and over that he’d be okay.

He felt the migraine start to loosen a little, and he started to nod off under the effects of his pill and your ministrations. After a while, he felt you climb off the bed and leave, and he knew you were probably going to meet up with SVU for those victory drinks. The last thought to cross his mind was that he hoped Carisi was smart enough to see how wonderful you were, and then Barba was truly asleep.

*****

You don’t know why you stayed.

Well, you did know, deep down. You stayed because you still loved him, and you were worried about the migraine. You stayed because he looked so beat-down and pathetic, and while you didn’t blame yourself for his sad state, you did feel like he was still your responsibility.

Because it was obvious that your original theory was right: Barba wasn’t with Yelina. You prowled through his apartment as he slept; there wasn’t a single scrap of evidence that anyone had been there after you. In fact, on his couch under a throw pillow you found an old t-shirt of yours that you used to sleep in. The way it was folded and placed under the pillow made you think it was almost a relic.

You checked on Barba throughout the evening, but he slept like the dead. You ordered in and settled on his couch to watch some T.V., and you sent out a few emails – one to Carmen (calling Barba off the next day), one to your boss (taking a half day for yourself). You checked on him one last time – he was snoring lightly and sprawled out. Then you went back into the living room and laid down on the couch, and it wasn’t long before you were asleep too.

It was one of those nights where you felt like the space between when you shut your eyes and when you woke up were mere seconds. One minute, you were pulling a spare blanket over yourself. The next minute, you were waking up – jolted awake, in fact – to see Barba standing over you and staring at you in disbelief.

“Hey,” you said, and you swiped a surreptitious hand over your face in case you’d been drooling in your sleep. “How are you feeling?”

He ignored your question. “You’re still here?”

You sat up and ran a hand through your short-cropped hair. It was infinitely easier to deal with than long hair, but it still did interesting things in the morning. “Yeah. You seemed to have a lot on your mind last night. I thought we could talk this morning.” You glanced up at him; he hadn’t changed his expression. “I called you off sick today, by the way.”

He nodded finally, and you stood up and went to the bathroom. When you reemerged, you found Barba in the kitchen. He had started a carafe of coffee to brew, and he was laying out the fixings for breakfast: a frying pan, eggs. When you reached to take over for him, he waved you off.

“Please,” he said. “It’s the least I can do for ruining your evening.”

You watched him cook in silence, and then you each ate in silence. You glanced at him from time to time – he seemed drawn and maybe ashamed. He refused to really look at you. When you were both finished eating and on your second cups of coffee, you broke the silence.

“Can we talk, Rafael?”

He had been studying his hands, but your use of his first name made his head snap up to regard you. “Sure,” he said, and his voice was still rough with the lingering side effects of the migraine.

You took a deep breath. “I’m not sure where we go from here,” you said. “I can’t get a good read on what you’re thinking or what you want.” You gave him a slight smile. “You’re my first ex-boyfriend, you know. It’s new territory.”

“I know.”

“Most of the time, everything seems to be okay, but then…last night was something else. You seemed so sad.”

“I am sad,” he said, quiet. You watched him – he was still studying his hands, tracing abstract patterns on his kitchen table. You reached over and stilled the hand closest to you.

“I know you are. I know things didn’t work out the way you intended.”

“No, they didn’t.”

You took another steadying breath, tamped down the nascent anger that Yelina brought out in you. “I’m sorry that Yelina didn’t reciprocate, but you can’t keep holding on to me.”

Barba looked up at you in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, eventually…you just move on.”

“What?”

He was staring at you in complete confusion, and it made you a little mad. Barba was smart. He had all the relationship experience. He knew what he was doing.

“You broke up with me,” you said. There was an edge of anger in your voice. “Just because things didn’t work out with Yelina doesn’t mean you can keep jerking me around. You should know better than anyone that I hate being second-best.”

“You think I tried to get back together with Yelina?”

You removed your hand from his and leaned back in your chair. “Obviously. And when she wasn’t into it, you start sending me mixed messages because you don’t want to be alone.”

You watched the gears turning in his head, and you felt another flair of anger at him. You’d been nothing but accommodating – the entire relationship and afterwards too. “That’s not true at all,” he finally said.

You threw your hands up in exasperation. “How am I supposed to know what’s true? Those last few weeks, you did nothing but pick fights with me and then that was it. And we never spoke about it.”

“I wanted to talk a few days after everything happened, but you didn’t want to,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, sorry,” you snapped, sarcastic. “I didn’t feel like hearing more about how beautiful Yelina is and how I’m not. How she’s the love of your life and I was just a diversion.”

“You were never a diversion,” he said, his voice low. “Not ever.”

Your temper was already up at this point, so you missed the quiet misery written across his face. “Sure.”

“I loved you. I still love you.”

That made you stand up fast, so fast that your chair nearly tipped over. “Don’t tell me that. You never said it once when we were together. I said it all the time. You didn’t say it once.” You glanced down at your watch. “Whatever, Barba. You know, I always felt like a kid with you, like some doofy idiot who didn’t know what was going on. You had all this experience and I had none. But now I’m not so sure I was an idiot. You’re the one who threw it all away for the woman who cheated on you, and where are you now? I’m still hurting, but at least I can say that I put everything into our relationship. I never held back how I felt. You always knew that I loved you.”

“I know.”

“Look, I need to go,” you told him. “I’m sorry about how things turned out, and I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you.” You looked at him, and this time you did see the abject wretchedness on his face, and it lessened the fire of your temper just a bit.

“You’ll be okay,” you said, but even you didn’t really believe it as you left him sitting there, slumped at his table like a man already broken.

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #tropes-and-tales

37 notes · View notes