Your parents are dead, you are not fine and nothing is ever going to be okay.

-Andrew Minyard

Pic context: Talking about the exy stadium at USC considering the fact that USC is a real school

I love how Nora just invents things in order to avoid complications with real-life things.

Like, using USC's football stadium as the exy stadium too would take a lot of work to figure out how that would be possible. Solution: invent a new stadium!

Having the characters play a real sport that already exists would mean looking into all the rules and regulations and history, etc, and there could be multiple elements of the sport that work against the plot of the story or complicate it in some way. Solution: invent a new sport!

I mean, it gives her full creative control over what happens in the story, and we as readers get to learn about a cool new thing without feeling the need to fact-check every element. Tbh, it makes so much sense to me.

Like, go off! Make stuff up! It's your world. We're just reading and enjoying and becoming obsessed with it!!!

something about outsider pov andreil fics is so good like oo yes let's observe these two little gremlins in love, it defies all natural laws but somehow they're cute together

My David Wymack fan cast - Holt McCallany (Bill Tench from Mindhunter)

I don’t know why, but literally the second I met Wymack I picture Holt McCallany and he will always be my One True Wymack. @korakos I’m so sorry if this is crazy far off 😭

about the pro-allison thingy...

I am one of the firm advocates and believers that Allison Reynolds would either go pro or do both (fashion and exy) but recently, I’ve been thinking about her ec and I think I’m beginning to see where Nora came from.

The short summary of the argument for the point of Allison choosing to go pro is this: Allison gave up her millions of dollars of inheritance for exy, got disowned for persisting to play it, and pretty much chose a bastard sport over her privileges. She fought tooth and nail to be a part of the court and despite her looks, she brawled with the best and the best. Therefore, it’s only natural that she pursues it in the future, right? Right??

That’s what I thought too, but then that leaves a new question unanswered: why is it given that she pursues it in the future? Does that mean an effort of fighting for something you love is futile unless it’s the end goal? Does your passion for something need to be your destination for it to be a worthy dream to fight for?

And I will be completely contradicting my prior Allison-centric posts but no, I think the answer is no. Because the truth is, Allison didn’t fought for exy. Exy was the thing that made her fight back from her controlling and overbearing parents, it was the thing that made her feel alive and free. And while she chose to play collegiate exy over her millions of inheritance, it isn’t something she necessarily see pursuing in the future and I think that’s okay. It doesn’t make her fight for it worthless and it wouldn’t render that choice a downgrade to her character because the fight wasn’t about exy at all. It’s about what she wants and exy just so happened to be the catalyst at that moment. She didn’t gave everything up for a sport she ended up not pursuing full-time— she gave it all up for control of her life. And if what pushes her to do so is not a dream she plans to pursue full-time but a mere hobby that she could come back to from time to time, something that gives her a short thrill but not the thing that she can see herself doing for the rest of her life, the stop point or journey along the way but not necessarily the destination— is that really so wrong?

"we don't know why jungkook didn't cover his hickey/neckbite" Maybe Beacuse it actually wasn't anything intimate as ppl take it? Yes it's sus kinda thing to give a mark to your close friend but i do remember jungkook saying "don't take it wrong" in one of the clips of that bite but his sentence wasn't translated because the voices were colliding. Like cone on you think if it was something sexual or intimate he would have not tried to hide it??? I get jungkook answered how he goy that mark because staff asked him but why do you think jm would be telling it to everyone what is his personal business? When no one asked.

Doesn't JK saying "DON'T TAKE IT WRONG" debunk the whole thing ? He clearly.. 100% clearly.. said don't think this hickey was caused by something intimate happened yesterday. He just bit me to put him down. Ik Jikookers here haven't paid attention to him saying that because either none of your K-jkkrs translated that or you ignored because it debunked everything.

Ah yes, neck biting... A perfectly non intimate act 😂 lmao okay anon. Whether you think it was platonic or romantic or sexual in nature, that's up to you... But you can't call it not intimate 🥴😂

Anyway, I'm not the first to draw this comparison either because when I searched "andriel neck fetish," Jikook fanart popped up too lmfao art credit @/rainbowdOOdles

Even Andrew and Neil who spent an entire trilogy of books calling each other "nothing" weren't going to call neck kissing and biting platonic even if they weren't going to call it romantic or admit they liked each other at first lol (if we are bringing that down to its most basic understanding and not the complexities that are involved in their relationship)

“Andrew made the mistake of turning his face away at one point, so Neil chased water down the side of Andrew’s neck. Andrew’s fingers clenched convulsively on Neil’s sides as a shudder wracked Andrew’s frame. Andrew tried to recover with a ground-out, “Your neck fetish is not attractive.” “You like it,” Neil said, unapologetic. “I like that you like it.” - Nora Sakavic

And ANYONE who comes to my page to "all jkkrs" or tell me I'm ignoring something for the sake of my ship just tells me they are new here and don't know me at all 😂 but nice try

Do you ever just think about how the headboard on Kevin's bed on the Nest doesn't budge. Of all the hints about what his life there was like that's the one that gets to me the most because it's so deliberate. Because even though he's probably physically stronger than Riko or at least evenly matched, Kevin wouldn't fight back. But he wasn't given the choice to anyway

honestly i think putting neil in kevin’s side of the room is such a telling choice during the castle evermore scenes. we spend so much of the first and second book hearing about how much kevin fears his so-called family, their haunting of the narrative as bloodthirsty hounds who can sniff out his fear, and when we actually get to finding out why that is we see it from someone who was immediately shoved into kevin’s old place. riko wasn’t just hurting neil because he wanted to (“i’m going to enjoy hurting you just as much as i enjoyed hurting kevin”), he was making sure neil knew he was inferior by putting him in direct contact with the roles kevin and jean played in the nest, using him as a substitute for the one that got away. neil gets a speedrun of some of the worst moments of kevin’s life, and he gets not a single breathing moment for it before he has to be shoved back into exy, like kevin was

i wouldn’t dare presume nora sakavic’s intentions on anything at this point, but i like the idea that neil’s stay at evermore was supposed to tell us all we needed to know about kevin’s time there, without kevin ever having to actually recount the years (he wouldn’t, even if he could): that it was horrifying, and that being in his shoes will never be as glamorous as neil previously thought. i like the breaking of neil’s expectations for kevin; i like how it makes neil realize the life kevin led was not better. and that’s the point, isn’t it? when neil is lying in kevin’s bed, handcuffed to kevin’s headboard, his legs pinned under kevin’s only friend, getting hurt by kevin’s brother, that’s what neil realizes: this is not better. it might be different than life on the run, but it is not better.

Reading update

Arthur and Teddy Are Coming Out by Ryan Love - 3/5 stars

The Fate of Stars by SD Simper - DNF at pg 32

A Gathering Storm by Joanna Chambers - 4.75/5 stars

I kept getting the Madame Leota room from Haunted Mansion stuck in my head as I was reading this (not a bad thing!). This book has a surprisingly low rating on the Storygraph, and I'm not going to torture myself by looking at the reviews, but I'm assuming it's because of the power discrepancy between Ward and Nick. Clearly it didn't bother me as I really enjoyed the book!

Dionysus in Wisconsin by EH Lupton - 4.75/5 stars

At some point I might get tired of Mid-Century Modern romances, but not this day. This book was super fun, with an interesting world and lovely characters. And a Midwest setting! I've spent a lot of time in Madison, Wisconsin, where this book is set, so I got the added bonus of knowing most of the places pretty well. There was even a shoutout to an obscure piece of Madison history, the Lost City in the Arb. I have to get the second book in the series now!boy

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan - 3.25/5 stars

I gave this book an extra quarter of a star for being written in 2003, when it would have been genuinely pretty groundbreaking. Reading it in 2024, it's very twee and pretty cringey (the queer utopia town would have been a magical fantasy in 2003, not so much now in a lot of places). When Levithan credited Francesca Lia Block's Weetzie Bat books in the acknowledgements, I though, ah. No wonder. Hated those as a teen.

All that said, there's some genuinely lovely writing in this book, and it has its place in the queer canon.

The Greywacke by Nick Davidson - 5/5 stars

Super interesting nonfiction about the discipline of geology and how the early geologic epochs were figured out. Also gave me an idea for a historical romance about gay Victorian geologists.

Home Grown Talent by Joanna Chambers & Sally Malcolm - 5/5 stars

I think I loved this one more than the first in the series. The social media scandal was perfect, in that it was exactly as absurd as every social media scandal is, and thus hilarious, but also chilling in how even something so stupid can ruin people's lives.

The First Bright Thing by JR Dawson - DNF at pg 1

Prince of the Sorrows by Kellen Graves - DNF at pg 30

Reuben's Hot & Cold by M Arbon - 3/5 stars

Slight Foxing Around the Edges by Melissa Polk - DNF at pg 132

Restored by Joanna Chambers - 5/5 stars

Balefire by Jordan L Hawk - 4.75/5 stars

A Rulebook for Restless Rogues by Jess Everlee - 4/5 stars

The Mars House by Natasha Pulley - 5/5 stars

See my brain vomit about this book here. If you've been around here for any amount of time you know all Natasha Pulley's books make me feral. Absolutely no exception here. I cannot believe her first UK publisher dropped her over this book. Idiots! It's wonderful just like everything she's ever written.

In the Case of Heartbreak by Courtney Kaye - DNF at pg 181

The Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason - DNF at pg 21

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun - 5/5 stars (reread)

Just as good as the first time I read it!

Exhalation by Ted Chiang - 4.5/5 stars

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic - DNF at pg 84

Crisped + Sere by TJ Klune - 4.75/5 stars

It actually kind of makes me mad that this series isn't Klune's most famous work, because it's real good. At this point it seems kind of unlikely he's going to continue it, but man, I'd love another book.

These Silent Stars by Chani Lynn Feener - DNF at pg 68

Trailer Park Trickster by David R Slayton - 5/5 stars

See below.

Deadbeat Druid by David R Slayton - David R Slayton - 5/5 star

I LOVE this series. Love love love love. Absolute must read. If you're a fan of KD Edwards's The Tarot Sequence, this series is right up your alley. It seems like there will be more after this initial trilogy, and there's also a spinoff book coming soon which I'm super excited for. Read them!!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

Omg I love this ask so much 🥰

1. Not Enough to Save You: (Wolfstar) Look, don’t ask me how many times I’ve reread my Remus Lupin is Joan of Arc fic. I feel like this needs no other pitch. Remus Lupin is Joan of Arc. Sirius is a princess who falls in love with her. The pen was on fire the entire time I was writing this. I’m really proud of the prose all the way through, especially the smut. If my chef’s special is smut described through beautiful figurative language, this fic is my 5 Michelin star tasting menu.

2. Tough, Tried, True Blue: (Wolfstar) The long fic of my heart!!! My pitch for this fic is that the next time you get the urge to comfort reread the Harry Potter books, you should read this instead. I’m basically writing the kids books I would have wanted to read that would have saved me a lot of time figuring out that I liked girls. It’s simultaneously deeply nostalgic about the OG books and deeply hostile towards JKR.

3. stupid and alive: (AFTG) So this fic is basically a courtroom drama and I’m the lawyer and Nora Sakavic is the witness and I cross examine her until she breaks on the stand Legally Blonde style. Except it’s actually just a deep character study of Andrew Minyard. I reread this a little while ago, and I don’t want to brag, but that is the point of this ask so. The prose in this fic fucking rips. Like, I was really on some shit. I also think the therapy scene in chapter two is some of my favorite dialogue I’ve ever written. I had a point to make and I made it, everyone clapped.

4. The College Years: (The Atlas Six) Of course I have a soft spot for this fic because it was the first fic I ever wrote and it was co-written with @capacity-for-wonder. We had too much fun writing this, and everyone should read it and then gaslight Mel into thinking that she enjoys writing! She’s very good at it! Essentially I wanted to write The Raven Cycle but Maggie Steifvater already did that so I had to write this instead as the next best thing. The fact that we wrote this before reading any marauders fic is unbelievable, because this is also basically a marauders fic. If you like TRC and Marauders fic you should absolutely read this. You don’t even have to read Atlas Six first, because it’s a prequel.

5. Immaculate Conception (Girls Kissing Remix) (Wolfstar) Sapphic horror fever dream based on an AU from Claude’s (@achilleslikespeas) incredible brain? Yes please! This fic is like a little Neapolitan ice cream treat. The vanilla is sapphic Wolfstar, the chocolate is a demon baby, and the strawberry is religion. They finger bang in the church basement! Need I say more?

Currently Reading...

Elysium - Nora Sakavic

Ok was anyone gonna tell me Nora Sakavic had written a fantasy book, or?

So the big question, of course, is did I like this as much as AFTG? Honestly, I don't think it's fair to compare them, and they're so different, that actually it's very easy not to. AFTG is a trilogy with two distinct but interwoven plots, a full compliment of characters, and a strong focus on relationships. This is a standalone novella in a fantasy setting.

Considering how short the book is, I'm genuinely surprised at how much worldbuilding happens. It took most of the book for me to really come to grips with the fantasy world, and I'm pretty impressed she managed to do it in such a short time, especially while still managing to flesh out the characters so well. One thing she's proved - she can always write likeable and relatable characters.

This definitely read like a full story, and although it does feels like it could be a series of about ten books (there's so much more to explore) it doesn't feel unresolved or hurried.

I would have liked to have had more time devoted to the Adam-Ciara situation at the end, but I don't think that would have been possible without introducing the impending war as a major plot point - it needed to be as brief as it was or it needed to be a much longer, much more complex plot. There's probably not an in-between.

So the answer is: No, I didn't like this as much as AFTG. But how could I? AFTG is a masterpiece, a sensation. It's not a series of books, its a life-changing event. No author has two stories like that waiting inside them. Almost no one even has one. This is still a great book, and I'll definitely be passing it around to my friends.

BOOK RECS ASK GAME: everything ending in 7, please!

Thank you!

7. a book you did not finish

The Little Friend by Donna Tartt. It's so good, but I've dnfed it three times at the halfway point, and I don't really know why. I'm actually reading it again right now, and my goal of the month is to finally finish it!

17. a book with a yellow cover

The Shining by Stephen King. This is what my cover looks like:

27. a book with a purple cover

The Lake of Dead Languages by Carol Goodman

37. your favourite heist book

I don't really read heist books. But I'm pretty sure The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch would count, and I enjoyed that.

47. a book that mentions a place in the title

Mansfield Park by Jane Austen, which I just learned to love last month!

57. a book you want to hit bonk your head with

Umm...I don't really know. I'm assuming this means bonking your head with the book in a bad way? Because you're frustrated with the characters or the writing or something? Or maybe just because it's a difficult book? I honestly just don't have one for this.

67. your favourite historical fiction novel

Everything by Sarah Waters, but if I have to just pick one, I'll go with The Little Stranger.

77. a book so useless that you could use it as a coaster

Lying: A Metaphorical Memoir by Lauren Slater. It's a memoir about Slater's life with epilepsy, except she doesn't have epilepsy; she's using it as a metaphor. You never know when she's telling the truth or making stuff up. I had to read it for my memoir course, and I hated it.

87. a book with a predictable ending

I read a lot of fairy tale retellings, and many of those (though definitely not all) have predictable endings because they follow the original stories. I'll go with Beauty by Robin McKinley. Sure, you're aware the whole time of how it will end, but it's still a wonderful read.

97. a book with a hospital setting

I had a hard time with this one, but I've settled on Jill by Amy Dillwyn. It's not fully set at a hospital, but part of it is and what happens is wild. 😆

107. your favourite book in a different language

The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa is a new favorite of mine. It was originally written in Japanese, and I read the English translation by Philip Gabriel.

117. your favourite anthology

I'm generally not a big anthology person, but I really liked The Secret History of Fantasy edited by Peter S. Beagle. There are some big name authors in there, including Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, and tons of others. And I really liked all the stories I've read out of it so far. I had to get it for my Fantasy Writing course in undergrad.

127. a book you'd read when you're missing somebody

Probably just the All for the Game series by Nora Sakavic because it's a comfort read for me. And if I'm missing someone, I generally need comfort. Although for certain people I might pick up a specific book I associate with them. For example, one of these days I'm going to pick up some of my brother's favorite books since I'm missing him a lot. If I want one I've read before, I'll go with either The Last Kingdom or The Winter King, both by Bernard Cornwell.

Turns out working 11-12 hours a day for two weeks straight effectively wiped all witty thoughts from my head (if I ever had some), but I’ll do my best to remember my November books. /3

15 Tage sind für immer (Here the whole time) (Vitor Martins): This one was unexpectedly nice. It basically made me smile nonstop throughout which was a good thing as I was reading it mostly at my artist alley table at Comic Con Stuttgart and you like to buy stuff from smiling people, right? 8D Felipe's mom is kinda the best. Also the German translation by Svantje Volkens was really good to read. Darius the Great is not okay (Adib Khorram): As the eternal advocate for friendship stories this one took me by surprise! I'm so not used to getting actual ones whithout romance. xD It was appreciated though. I also finally got the pop culture references! Usually I never notice or understand them because I never read or watch what's popular right now but just like Darius I grew up on Star Trek (especially The Next Generation). That was so nice~ But! I'm not sure if I would have enjoyed all the references that much if I didn't know the series. Because they were everywhere. Like take them out and there would be no book left. It was nice to learn about Iran and read about family and connections and stuff. There was also a lot of tea. I like tea. Darius the Great deserves better (Adib Khorram): I don't remember this very well. I didn't like it as much as its prequel but I'm pretty sure that was because of the suffering. Darius is having a hard time thoughout the book and that gave me a hard time, too. Not frustrating though at least. It handled that pretty well. More like a good message you have to work for? Bone Weaver (Aden Polydoros): This should be a fantasy book right up my alley. I realised, however, I'm so much more critical of female protagonists. "8D Toma did well though. Most of the time. I wish she wouldn't have fallen for Vanya (my heroines do not need any love stories thank you) but I have to give her credit for not falling for the first male person she meets (Mikhail), only for the second! And in all honesty, even though I might whine that it would have been better with Vanya x Mikhail, it would not. Because Mikhail lost Alexei (with or at least for whom he had a thing) within the first five pages of the book and having him move on within in three days ... errr The No. Well. I did enjoy the setting, the lore. And gawd I wasn't aware how much I love nicknames? Not "babe" or "sweetheart" etc but real names. Russian names provide so well in that department. Vanya was like "Hey, I'm Ivan but everyone calls me Vanya!" And everyone does! And then, 5 seconds later Mikhail goes "Ivan!" and I'm squealing because you know that at some point in the near future he will reluctantly come to like Vanya and will switch to the nickname as well and it will glorius. orz Anyway. I enjoyed the book but two things: The suffering. The physical pain. I read Mr. Polydoros' other books as well (The City Beautiful and the Assasin Fall duo) and in both the protagonists spend a lot of time in pain. Bone Weaver is no exception. It may not be "a long time" in here, but these guys are pretty broken up it's not funny. Second thing: I wish it would have been third-person instead of Toma's perspective only. I would have loved to learn more about Mikhail. What was his relationship with Koschei before? Will he be okay even when his people find out he has no more magic? The conversations, the bonding between him and Vanya. Gimme more! D: All for the Game series (Nora Sakavic): And finally this. This. I had a lot of words once but I'm reigning myself in. It was good. It was a lot of fun. I read The Foxhole Court back in September and then The Raven King in November and after I finished TRK, I went back to reread TFC ... I didn't want it to be over so soon. /D (And also my memory is shit and I read TFC while at airports, on planes and with my friends chatting next to me, so ... my excuses) I'm glad I read it only now instead of last year when I saw it the first time. (I'm a much more tolerant reader now.) But then, everything I like about the books are things I like in general: good characters, dialogues, self-references that make you leaf back or make you go "aaah" while rereading, and rewards after a long struggle. Gawd. For a hot second while reading TRK I got afraid that everything tumblr fandom teased me with might just be fan stuff instead of canon and I already felt the betrayal. 8D Then I remembered I already read the blurb for The King's Men and it was all there. Phew! Not that I read the books for the romance only. But it was so mind-boggling to know where Neil and Andrew end up when in the beginning they can't spend like two peaceful seconds with each other. So the journey was incredibly intruiging and fun. Haah. (Bonus fun: There were AFTG cosplayers at Comic Con. I only saw a flash of orange in front of my table and was like “Huh, it’s just Haikyuu” but I still took another look and there it was “Palmetto State University”! Of course I embarrassed myself in guessing the characters wrong, but it was still nice. 8D) To ease my AFTG hangover I went back to rewatching anime. I found the perfect little sibling: bad parents, abuse, anger issues, (kinda) gay, more queer kids, estranged childhood friends, boys obsessed with stupid sports, protagonist with an attitude problem and a bad mouth. I present: Stars Align! (Yes, that stupid series which ended on the worst cliffhanger and never got its second part!!! D:<) Speaking of anime, now that the worst of the christmas crunch is over and I'm having time again to actually enjoy stuff I should get back to finishing Yuri on Ice ... and ... Chainsaw Man. xD

1 + 15?

HI to the two of you c-:

1. book you’ve reread the most times?

Oh God I fear the answer to this im pretty sure i have to say Nora sakavic all for the game series. Because I ripped an epub of it to kill time in class back in sec school and I just had it on my laptop ready to look at when I got bored so I read it a lot I literally cannot say much to defend it at all because it’s like. Simply not good. But also you have to understand that it is even if it isn’t. like if you need practice suspending your belief and you love sports with dramatic interpersonal team situations like me it’s perfect. Also if you like the clock motif in Goncharov Neil Josten did the trapped in a life of violence with your pipe dream of safety and escape slowly ticking away thing too and served cunt

15. recommend and review a book

YAYYYY alright let’s go with Jonathan strange & Mr Norrell I’m gonna copy paste stuff I wrote on my Instagram and like edit it a little

JS&MN was the most entertaining book i read in a while despite its length (if you liked Piranesi you might not like it as much, they’re quite different although both distinctly by the same author). What Clarke is really good at is evoking scene/situation/detail in a way that’s almost cinematic, makes for really great tableaux in that you can picture any Clarke scene as a sexily composed charcoal illustration, which JS&MN has! seriously here’s a speedrun: tarot cards drawn with the same eerie card every time, the sound of dolorous bells from another world, a proper lady shooting someone in the middle of a perfectly white snow day, this guy steps out of a mirror and then several, great stuff

She also writes with this particular restraint that’s very british where the humour and the horror and the mystique are all measured exactly - in the book there’s a sort of slow descent from frivolous victorian society to the fucked up underworld necromantic shit strange gets up to during the napoleonic wars and her tone fits both. Not to mention how sexy the necromancy was. The Duke of wellington is there. Goya does a chalk drawing Strange surrounded by corpses

Though honestly i think the best part of the book were the footnotes i love the depth of the scholarship clarke creates and especially the small folk tales about john uskglass/the raven king because like for the whole book she builds this mythology around him and (spoiler of sorts) honestly i expected there to be a grand climax where he shows up and does some kind of showy plot relevant display but his actual appearance is like only quietly extraordinary and the one person who sees him doesn’t even remember the encounter because at this point uskglass has receded into his myth such that he’s become intangible and the plot (which is about its titular characters first and foremost) can’t extract him from his status as a folk hero because that would take away the power he has over english magic

Ultimately though JS&MN is about people who have been deprived of their autonomy and voice reclaiming hold on the narrative and it’s really satisfying as a whole story. As characters Strange and Norrell are less remarkable to me than Stephen Black/Childermass/Lady Pole etc and when the storylines converge and resolve the length of the book feels deserved; the ending isn’t fully closed though and the balance of bittersweet is really good. It’s 782 pages and I liked all of them

Hi! You wrote Force of Nature, the Jerejean fic on ao3 right? I just want to say how much I adore it. I've been devouring it all this week and its been the only thing on my mind, i'm SO OBSESSED. The way you write them is incredible and it is 100% canon actually like it just is. It's so real I think, and nothing compares. Being absolutely and totally hooked on jerejean currently, i might die if I don't get to finish this amazing fic. I can't read German, so I'm reading the english translation, and I see that i hasn't been updated in a whole year, and I'm absolutely devestated by that. I don't know what's going on in your life, and why you may have stopped updating and I know I have no right to ask you to finish translation, but I just want to ask if you do have plans to return to it at some point? It kills me knowing the story is complete (in German) and that Jean finds his happy end with Jeremy, but it just guts me that I migt never get to read it! :( Is there any hope in it returning? Do you think you could? No pressure to if you're dealing with other stuff of course, I understand it can't be easy. love love love your work, i would die for your jerejean, no matter what <3 take care and i hope to read more of FoN soon!! <3

Hey there. :3

Yes that's me!

Thank you so much. <3

At this moment I'm currently writing for the Tatort Fandom (German crime show) and I'm totally hooked. But I still plan to finish and to translate Force of Nature, so please don't give up hope. I promise I won't let you and the others who are still waiting down. There will be a new chapter this weekend, for that matter (in fact I'm working on it at the moment. It's really painful to translate it, but I'm almost done).

The German version is still missing a chapter so it's not fully completed yet! This will also be published in two or three weeks.

This s for your ask and your comments on AO3:

Post scriptum: I kinda lied (aka was faster than I thought)...here's chapter 20 ;) :

tired of that post that’s like ‘people who were fic writers before they were pro authors all suck’ and using like cassandra claire as an example. sure, some authors who started writing fanfic now make shitty derivative wish fulfillment books with bad adjectives. but that’s such a misunderstanding of what fanfiction is.

fanfic is not an inherently subversive genre, and i personally hate people who’s only queer lit is fanfic. they’re missing like everything important about the queer experience. but fanfic is also not meant to be a societal medicine, a cure-all for queer issues.

fanfic is a space for passionate people to express their love for a piece of art.

just like fan artists don’t make bad artists, fanfic writers don’t make bad writers. it isn’t causative.

however, lots of people in fandom are new to their mediums, or young, or not super high effort. so fandom spaces are flooded with the content of amateurs- people who create out of love.

lots of those people are bad at it. not because liking things enough to write about them makes you bad at art, not because wanting gay people to kiss makes you bad at art. but bc the point of these works is singular: to create for a fandom a thing that is wholly yours, drawn from your love of that fandom.

i go to art school (fake gamer, i know) and all of the most talented artists, especially the illustrators, had fandoms that they drew for when they were young. the fan space allowed them a community to create for, people to encourage those early stages of artistic development.

this is what lots of (i’d bargain most) fanfic is. it’s the beginning of an artistic process. it’s fresh, it’s new, it’s missing constructive feedback and editing and perspective. just like the early works of a million different singers, songwriters, painters, writers, actors, and dancers before them, these artists are laying the groundwork for their future endeavors. and they’re doing it out of love. i think that’s beautiful.

furthermore, lots of fanfic is actually well written. those posts that say ‘x is such a raw line you’d think it’s from shakespeare but it’s actually from a stuckky incest fic’ or whatever. those posts are a perfect example of the actual writing ability of some fic authors. i’ve read fics that do innovative things with form, rhythm, plot structure, etc. i’ve read fics that discuss in more plain-clothes fashion topics that are hard to find in most fiction. sure, maybe i do really like it when a character is confrontational in a way no real person is, but that unrealistic behavior doesn’t mark a bad author— fiction doesn’t have to feel like it’s real, it has to feel congruent with its own internal logic. some fic authors understand this better that some ‘real authors’. many don’t.

finally, there are some authors that i’m pretty sure were fic authors before they got published (no evidence, just conjecture) who make incredible work. nora sakavic, lee mandelo, c.s. pacat. their work is all notably fic-y, from some writing conventions to plot points to obvious references to other works. none of this devalues their books, which each have their own merits. the all for the game trilogy by nora sakavic is an awesome fast paced action series centered around stupid mafia drama and a fictional sport (which would be way more fun to play than fucking quidditch btw) and also deeply explores consent, trauma, and what it means to be someone’s family. summer sons by lee mandelo is a beautiful languid southern gothic with some innovative ideas about ghosts and some really intense haunting scenes. c.s. pacat’s captive prince trilogy is undeniably fic-y with a lot of weird plots and sub plots and sub sub plots, alienating dialogue, and an obsession with sexual trauma. and the captive prince trilogy is also the most comprehensive look i’ve ever gotten at battle strategy. i love how the relationship between afflictors and those afflicting harm was discussed- there’s no right way to understand the atrocities discussed in the text, but the characters are people, so they keep living, and they make bad decisions and they make good ones. i’d recommend all of these books.

all this to say that fanfic has its place. there’s nothing to be achieved by acting like it’s some angelic force, but likewise bashing on it needlessly does no one any good. and to close: i got into economic theory because of my sisters ex-boyfriend who had a copy of das capital. i got into queer theory because a fic writer i like mentioned the faggots and their friends.

*deep breath*

All For The Game...Review?

It's been over a week and I feel like I have to say something about it since Tumblr is what pressured me into reading it in the first place and I mean. That really was a series like. I don't even know what to say. I'm still processing everything. It was really bad but I really liked it???

I some of my mutuals <3 have not read it and I cannot it good conscience recommend it but I don't really care about that so. I'd recommend it with the caveat that you should turn your brain off before reading it and also look up the trigger warnings and don't read it if you can't handle that cause!!! There is some deeply disturbing content!!!

WHAT THE SHIT WAS ANY OF THAT LIKE HONESTLY okay now the rest of it I am gonna talk about spoilers so.

I picked up All For The Game expecting it to be a series about an alternate universe in which a ridiculous bullshit sport called exy exists. But honestly. Far more than just exy is unrealistic to the point of an alternate reality. This shit makes no sense. And I DID turn my brain off to read it. I had to. But now I do think about it and it. Doesn't make any sense. Andrew is required to be on drugs?? The Yakuza operates out of a college sports arena??? The Ravens are very clearly and openly some sort of freaky cult but most of the world just doesn't seem to care????

Listen to me. I really enjoyed this series. But now that I'm no longer reading it...I've got a whole skeleton and then some to pick with Nora Sakavic.

I actually deleted like a whole paragraph of ranting about the sports side of things because it was too embarrassing. Yes I do pay attention to college sports. None of it makes sense in aftg. I'm not going to humiliate myself by talking about how unrealistic it is.

I want to make it clear I liked it it's just fucking stupid!! Neil is a fun pov character though cause I don't understand his obsession with exy ✨at all✨ it's a SPORT. WHY are you willing to die over it. Boy chill the fuck out.

Oh Renee Walker is not straight and Nora clearly does not understand her character AT ALL if she thinks that. Ngl I really thought Renee and Allison were gonna end up together for a hot minute. They deserved to </3

Also...Nicky. Yeah he was kind of awful?? Like he was such a stereotypical creep what the fuck was that. WHY does him forcing a kiss on Neil just get ignored the rest of the series?? (Yeah it does get brought up when Neil and Andrew kiss for the first time...but that's almost worse. What the fuck.) He could've been a really interesting and good character but instead I just feel really bad for Erik.

It's just... it's entertaining and fun and I really liked it but it is so bad. It's nonsense. It's painful. I have a lot of problems with it. I still liked it. This is the most complicated I've felt about a book in awhile.

udkskdkdkkswbdns the dynamic of the team is so fun! I really like most of the characters. The romance was really great (I did go into it knowing that Andreil was endgame...but honestly that just added to the fun a lot of the time.)

Like. Come ON. Maybe Nora Sakavic just knew that if she actually made it good and well written the world wouldn't have survived...? Probably not. But it sure is a book. I have an irl who went through an aftg phase in middle school and I'm not sure how to explain my full thoughts to them (maybe they'll see it here! Ha)

Ig I'm rating it 🚩/10