coll2mitts - Tumblr blog

coll2mitts · 4 months

Text

#12 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

Merry Christmas! I had to get a little creative since I'd blown through the explicitly Christmas movies on this list back in 2021. A few years ago Leena Norms released a Non-Christmas Christmas movies video which highlight movies that are not set during Christmastime, but give you that same cozy feeling when you watch them. I came up with my own list and lo and behold amongst the three Hugh Grant movies sits one excellent musical:

Where the Heart Is

About a Boy

Sense and Sensibility

Pride and Prejudice

Music and Lyrics

Under the Tuscan Sun

Moonstruck

Waitress

Pitch Perfect

Gentleman Prefer Blondes

I'm a child of the 90s; I don't have to defend why Mr. Grant's awkward blinking is comforting to me.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is a yearly Non-Holiday Christmas staple in my household. It's fashionable, uncomplicated, catchy, and hilarious. I first sought out this movie somewhere around my 50th time of watching Moulin Rouge and I was overwhelmed with the instant love I felt for Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe. They're both incredibly funny, with Jane's quick wit and biting comebacks and Marilyn's smooth talking manipulation. And oh my god, not to beat a dead horse, but I couldn't help but notice they're absolutely gorgeous. If it weren't for Ernie Malone being the dumbest person for Dorothy Shaw to fall for, this film would be perfect. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Fair warning that every single song is a certified banger. It's no wonder - Jule Styne, who wrote the music for the original musical, also worked on Funny Girl. Hoagy Carmichael and Harold Adamson, the two who wrote the movie-originals, "Ain't There Anyone Here for Love" and "When Love Goes Wrong (Nothin' Goes Right)" similarly had prolific writing careers. You will be humming these tunes in your head for days, sorry not sorry.

Meet Dorothy Shaw (Jane Russell) and Lorelei Lee (Marilyn Monroe), two stage performers the studio executives didn't dare try to pass off as sisters. Each are guided by one thing - Lorelei is trying to marry her way into security and Dorothy just wants to get laid a lot. Big mood.

youtube

Their mid-tier notoriety has allowed Lorelei to attract a wealthy beau, the precious Gus Esmond Jr. (Tommy Noonan). His father, who bankrolls his behavior, doesn't approve of the match, which is why Lorelei has concocted a plan - They will set sail on a boat to Paris and get married in Europe, far away from his father's influence. If Gus gets cold feet about the marriage and bails last minute, Lorelei and Dorothy will disembark regardless, only to return to the states when Gus comes to his senses and makes a commitment that matches the massive piece of ice on her finger.

As Lorelei predicted, her and Dorothy are soon escorted on the boat to Europe, France for their non-romantic voyage. Gus has funded this entire endeavor of course and is counting on Dorothy to wrangle Lorelei and prevent her from getting in trouble. Dorothy takes her responsibilities to Lorelei incredibly seriously, but immediately befriends the entire USA Olympic team to entertain herself.

youtube

It takes everything within Gus to leave Lorelei on that boat, bribing her with gifts while pleading for her to be a good sport. She responds by placating his anxieties, "Daddy! Sometimes I think there's only one of you in the whole wide world!" This only proves that Marilyn was the only person who is allowed to say "Daddy" without us all collectively cringing.

youtube

I would absolutely lose my mind if Marilyn looked at me like that. The syrup in her voice kills me.

Marilyn had an acting coach, Natascha Lytess, that annoyed the director Howard Hawks because Marilyn constantly deferred to Lytess instead of him. It got to the point where he booted Lytess from set because clearly Marilyn didn't need the coach since she had perfectly crafted her image and executes on it flawlessly. Lytess eventually returned after a one-week hiatus after Hawks determined it wasn't worth the fight and humored Marilyn by letting her do extra takes without telling her there wasn't film in the camera.

The second the boat leaves port, Lorelei gets right to work trying to find a "suitable escort" for her friend by casing the passenger list for those who are most likely loaded. Dorothy scoffs noting, "I like a man who can run faster than I can," before Lorelei scolds her for not considering she may be destitute in the future if she settles for a man who is pretty and nothing else. Dorothy takes this advice to heart by wandering over to the gym to ogle the athletes in their swimsuits.

Is Dorothy really here for love? Because that boner in her pants really suggests she's only here for a good time.

youtube

It actually was an accident that Jane was pushed into the pool by a low-flying dancer, but they left the mistake in the movie because it played so well. Neither Jane nor Marilyn had danced on film before Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Jack Cole (assisted by Gwen Verdon) was hired as the choreographer, and Jane reveals that while Mr. Cole was slightly terrifying to work for if you were a professional dancer (I can't imagine the conversation that happened with that man after dunking Jane), Jack had enough patience to teach Jane and Marilyn how to dance. Furthermore, Jack took the lead in directing the musical numbers since Hawks realized his lack of experience in musical theater would hinder the film. This is most likely why they're so flippin' good, because if we've learned anything from Gene Kelly, choreographers tend to frame musical numbers in a way that features the talents of the performers.

While everything seems fine and dandy on the SS FindARichMan, there is a fella on board hell-bent on exposing Lorelei for the gold-digging hussy that she is. Ernie Malone (Elliott Reid) is a private investigator hired by Mr. Esmond's father and is tasked with providing hard evidence that Lorelei is fucking around on Gus. Since Dorothy and Lorelei are easily the most attractive people on board Malone finds them immediately and even overhears Lorelei making grand plans of ensnaring the heir of a whole state - a large one, like Pennsylvania or something - but misunderstanding this task is for the benefit of Dorothy. His opinion of Lorelei is further tarnished after eavesdropping on her blackmail-adjacent conversation with the head waiter to get said state-heir Henry Spofford III seated at their dinner table.

Malone, figuring it would be easier and less conspicuous to move in on the obviously single Dorothy to gather information, makes a pass at her by pretending to be rich. When Dorothy sends him a look that would melt the flesh of his bones he changes his strategy by suggesting that someone told him that Dorothy was interested in men with stuffed pockets and instead it must have been Lorelei they were talking about. Dorothy concedes, especially after Malone witnesses Lorelei making fast friends with Sir Frances Beekman, affectionately referred to as "Piggy". He's an elderly man who owns a diamond mine in South Africa, so clearly he's a morally great dude who certainly doesn't deserve to be robbed blind by Lorelei. It isn't until Lady Beekman, wearing more jewels than a magpie can horde, reveals she owns a diamond tiara that Lorelei officially makes her mark.

Later that night with their sights set on glory, the girls arrive at their very expensive dinner table while attracting absolutely no attention at all in their hideous gowns.

While we all know Marilyn as a sex symbol, Jane Russell also was pigeon-holed into "the girl" roles as well. Discovered by Howard Hughes, Jane was never able to escape how he marketed her. Even well into her 80s, Jane was asked by interviewers about her large breasts and the "special bra" Hughes designed for her to wear while shooting The Outlaw to hide her corseting (that she subsequently threw under her bed and he never noticed). She's also inevitably asked about her and Hughes "romantic" relationship because much like Ann-Margret with Elvis and Rita Moreno with Marlon Brando, a woman can't just talk about her career without some dumb dude taking part of the spotlight away from her. Similarly, Jane would always be asked about her and Marilyn's friendship with questions about how she acted on set, if she committed suicide, if she would have survived if she had a better support system... it's pretty disgusting, really. While the public is neverendingly fascinated by the circumstances of Marilyn's death, her persona and likeness was continually marketed after she died, picking her body apart like a vulture and selling each of her belongings to anybody who wanted to own a piece of her (including proximity to her literal corpse which is so violating and gross it makes me physically ill to think about). Both of these women, while beautiful, were also incredibly talented, and it's disheartening that their careers are remembered either by their scandals, their fate, or their cup size.

Once seated, Dorothy is amused that Malone is conveniently placed at their table, incorrectly assuming he's there for her and not her friend. The dinner continues to devolve in Malone's favor after it's revealed that Dorothy's blind date, Mr. Henry Spofford the Third, is barely older than a toddler.

"How am I doin'?"

Newly distracted by a diamond tiara and resigned to the fact her thinly-veiled plan to make Dorothy Mrs. Pennsylvania was a bust (If he were 16 or 17 you could marry him in Tennessee), Lorelei leaves Dorothy to get closer to Mr. Malone. Every and all attempts Malone makes to bash Lorelei to his new pseudo-girlfriend are quickly and thoroughly rebuffed because Dorothy is a good friend, but not good enough not to make out with Ernie's face when the opportunity presents itself.

Dorothy's romance with Mr. PI is short lived, however, when she catches Malone conspicuously taking pictures of Lorelei and Piggy through the porthole of their state room. Instead of decking the dude on site, Dorothy immediately confides in Lorelei they have been duped. When Lorelei's first attempt at stealing the pictures by breaking into Malone's room (and subsequently getting stuck in a porthole trying to escape it) doesn't prove to be fruitful, they hatch a scheme to steal the film from Malone's pants by getting him incredibly drunk and drugged up on sleeping pills.

Once developed, Lorelei innocently uses the photos as leverage with Piggy to gift her Lady Beekman's tiara. After obtaining the goods Lorelei and Dorothy are confronted by Malone, now armed with a tape recorder, who comes clean about his scheme and his intentions to ruin Lorelei. Unfortunately he also reveals to Dorothy that he is, in fact, in love with her. Barf emoji.

Once docked in France, Dorothy and Lorelei use Mr. Esmond's line of credit to go on a shopping spree. When they arrive at the hotel they encounter Lady Beekman, an insurance agent, and Mr. Malone. Mrs. Beekman is under the impression Lorelei stole her tiara since Mr. Beekman is a coward who lied about the gift and absconded to Africa to avoid the inevitable fight with his wife. Lorelei refuses to return the tiara on principle, which gets her and Dorothy kicked out of the hotel. Adding salt to the wound, Mr. Malone also reveals Mr. Esmond has cut off Lorelei's financial support leaving her out on the street. He then tells Dorothy what hotel he's staying at because he's a horrible person who seems to be on a personal mission to separate her from her loyal best friend.

youtube

Instead of rolling over and admitting defeat, the girls quickly get a gig at a local bar. As if on cue, Gus travels by airplane to reunite with Lorelei, only to get the cold shoulder in return. While money is important, trust is more valuable to Lorelei. Mr. Esmond has only revealed himself to be like any other man in Lorelei's life - showering her in gifts when times are good, but the second things get hard, they sell her out or drop her flat.

youtube

This scene is by far the most famous in the movie, if not the most famous of Marilyn's career. Countless musical artists, movies, and even playmates have referenced "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" with varying levels of media literacy about what its ultimate message is. Most of the time it is used as shorthand for love of materialism, but in this context it is Lorelei's way of getting under Mr. Esmond's skin. If this is all you think I am, this is all I will be to you.

I love Marilyn's distinctive vibrato (beautifully showcased in "Bye, Bye Baby"), but she was not the only one to sing on this song. Howard Hawks credited Gloria Wood for the more operatic parts in the beginning, and the ghost singer to end all ghost singers Marni Nixon has also claimed she dubbed over some of the lines. I honestly don't even mind - the majority of what you're getting is Monroe herself with the others giving her a boost where it went a little beyond her skills.

Also according to Hawks' biography "The Grey Fox of Hollywood", the test run of this number Mr. Cole staged was with Marilyn "wearing nothing but diamonds with a little horse's tail coming out of her ass with a little diamond horsefly on the tail", which like... I'm sure this is somebody's fetish, but how the fuck does that fit in this movie? Could you imagine if they would have asked Carol Channing to do that??

ANYWAY, after Lorelei finishes the number, the cops show up to arrest her and take back the tiara. She quickly discovers it has been stolen out of her room leaving her with only one option - getting Mr. Esmond to pony up the funds and get her out of a jam. The end of The Saga of the Tiara is pretty convoluted, but here's the short of it:

Dorothy poses as Lorelei and gets arrested by the cops to give Lorelei some time to wrangle 15k dollars

Malone meets up with Mr. Esmond Senior at the airport as he's travelled there to fish his son out of a French nightclub

Malone also bumps into Piggy at the airport, giving the game away that he is not, in fact, in Africa, while also pretty much admitting he's the one who ratted out Lorelei

Malone and Mr. Esmond Sr. head to the courthouse to watch Lorelei get stomped on, only to be confronted with Dorothy in a wig

Malone decides not to expose Dorothy because she admits she loves him and resigns from working with Mr. Esmond Sr. while relinquishing his salary

When Dorothy/Lorelei tells the judge the tiara has been stolen Malone knows where it is and hauls Piggy to court to play hot potato with the headpiece

With the tiara "returned" to Piggy, the girls are off the hook.

After Lorelei is informed everything has been resolved she tells Gus to take a hike. Instead of accepting Lorelei's rejection, Gus confronts his father and goes to bat for their relationship. Lorelei, finally getting some reassurance from Gus, convinces Daddy to let her marry Sonny for his money.

youtube

Of course, this film made in the 1950s ends with a double marriage - Dorothy to Ernie and Lorelei to Gus - proving that wedding rings really are a girl's best friend. Whomp whomp.

Lorelei and Gus seem like a good match. He loves doting on her and she loves feeling appreciated. His timid disposition is partially what attracted Lorelei to him, but his willingness to fight for her and prove he won't be a complete jellyfish when it comes to important matters really sealed the deal in her eyes. Ernie and Dorothy, however... what is the appeal? I feel like she settled for another useless pretty boy. He lied to her the majority of the time they were together in order to make money off her friend's personal business. While he began to earn some good faith by resolving the problem he took part in creating, he seems quick to judge and has proven he can't be trusted. How exhausting will it be for Dorothy to live with a man who never has anything nice to say about the people she loves? I give it a year. Dorothy's animal magnetism cannot be tamed.

I am absolutely smitten with Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. It's fluffy without being frivolous, good-natured, entertaining, and fun as hell. I giggle incessantly at every Dorothy comeback and every statement Lorelei makes with sincere severity. Not to give the game away too early, but it is going to be incredibly hard to top this movie on my own Best Movie Musicals of All Time list.

Thanks for reading on tumblr! If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

#unwarranted opinion #things i'm obsessed with #100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes #Youtube

0 notes

coll2mitts · 6 months

Text

#25 The Court Jester (1956)

Happy Halloween! I ran out of creepy musicals, so we're going to instead recap one where Danny Kaye wears a ridiculous looking costume.

Seriously, it looks like he lost a bet.

The Court Jester is a star-studded film that is only a musical by definition because Danny Kaye occasionally sings. It is the most fast-paced, disorienting, silly movie I have ever watched, and I enjoyed every absurd minute of it.

The movie begins with Danny prancing around during the title sequence to hype up the fairy tale they'll be reenacting over the next hour and thirty minutes while also assuring the audience actually read the credit sequence. Which, y'know, whatever you gotta do.

youtube

Once Upon a Time, King Roderick the Tyrant, a jolly, smiley old man who massacred an entire family to take the throne, is heading home with a bunch of his homicidal friends. One of his knights is unceremoniously murdered by an arrow with a note tied to it, because I'm guessing a pigeon wasn't available. The Black Fox (think Robin Hood, but way less charismatic), the King's nemesis, sends a (literal) message to warn King Roderick his days are numbered - There is a rightful heir to the throne, and he's an infant that has a distinctive flower on his butt!

This has King Roderick shaking in his perfectly aligned tight seams and the group books it back to the safety of the castle leaving the poor unmoving knight on the side of the road. His advisor, Sir Ravenhurst (Basil Rathbone), assures the king this news is nonsense, but the rest of his council (Brockhurst, Finsdale, and Pertwee) suggest the King should form an alliance with Sir Griswold - an alpha male from a neighboring kingdom that is so big and strong he'd send The Black Fox packing. Sir Ravenhurst disagrees, which sends these petty and dramatic queens into a slapping fight which is only quelled when someone suggests they marry off Princess Gwendolyn (my love Angela Lansbury) to Griswold cause she's got nothing currently on her calendar. Gwendolyn reacts to this news by threatening to jump off the building since she is also a petty and dramatic queen. Her behavior is blamed on her handmaiden Griselda, cause there's absolutely no other reason why Gwendolyn would want to marry for love.

Meanwhile, the band of The Black Fox are out in the forest having a grand 'ol time with their in-house entertainment!

youtube

They've really gotta work on rebranding cause at first glance I thought they were wearing Nazi armbands.

Hubert Hawkins (Danny Kaye), while a jester by trade, wants to contribute more than singing and dancing to the cause. He's even recruited an entire troupe of little people from the local carnival to free up some of his time to swashbuckle with the rest of them. The Black Fox instead puts him on babysitting duty with a Tarzan swinging Mrs. Banks, which apparently includes flashing the kid's bottom to anybody who wants to pledge loyalty to a royal.

After discovering there's a snitch in the castle, the stunningly beautiful Captain Jean (Glynis Johns) and Hubert, in order to keep the baby with the purple pimpernel buttmark concealed, dress in disguise to traffic the child in a wine barrel to an Abbey. Hawkins' old man shenanigans frustrate the King's knights enough that they don't suspect the pair are involved with The Black Fox and let them continue on their journey.

They take shelter in a dilapidated shack for the night and The Captain's ovaries explode watching Hubert sing the child to sleep with his buttery voice.

youtube

And, oh no! There's only one pile of hay they have to share! Maid Jean keeps her cool by telling Hawkins beta males can attract even strong men like her, and Hawkins replies her she'd make a pretty good girl before planting a kiss on her. Jean tries to steer the conversation back to their mission, but Hawkins, seeing now he has a chance, can't take his lips off of her.

"I wonder if she's thinking about other guys..." "There's a secret tunnel under the castle that leads to the King's chambers!"

But wouldn't you know, at that very moment, the King's future court jester Giacomo wanders into the shack looking for shelter. He just happens to be the type of person who would have access to the King and be able to grab the key to the secret tunnel. Instead of recruiting him into the cause, Jean brains Giacomo and asks Hawkins to take his place since he has all that convenient carnival experience.

Back at the castle The King is still struggling because Gwennie doesn't want to marry the Grim, Grizzly, Gruesome Grossy McGrosserson Griswold! Even though he has an unwilling bride-to-be, the King figures if he can distract Griswold with bitches there's a greater chance he'll comply, sending his knights out to grab a cartful of them. Ravenhurst also suggests their new jester might be able to provide some levity, which the king agrees to without knowing that Ravenhurst, in addition to being petty and dramatic, is also a scheming queen and The Original Giacomo was hired because he was a secret skilled assassin!

Unfortunately for Jean, the King's quest for hoes intercepts her baby-concealing wine cart on the way to the abbey and she is dragged to the castle ahead of a bumbling Hawkins. She rendezvous with The Black Fox's inside guy Fergus and asks him to take the surprisingly mute baby to the Jester's quarters in anticipation for Hawkins' arrival. She then steals the key from the King's quarters herself since she has to do fucking everything.

Hawkins/Giacomo arrives a few moments later to the delight of Ravenhurst and Griselda - the former because he wants Giacomo to go on a murderous rampage, and the latter because she convinced Gwendolyn the dude with the pointy shoes is her One True Love in order to weasel her way out of a Gwendolyn's pre-wedding murder-suicide pact.

youtube

Hawkins tries to determine which person is an ally by spitting in everyone's faces and unfortunately determines Ravenhurst is his man cause Hubert is dumb as rocks and Ravenhurst keeps giving him the "you're gonna murder the King's council for me" eyebrows.

The King asks "Giacomo" to choose the best wench for him since he assumes this man wearing the biggest feather I've ever seen in a hat is a massive slut who would be able to tell which bitch was quality. He's quickly intercepted by Griselda who, in a quest to save her own skin, hypnotizes him into wanting to fuck Gwendolyn. Fergus witnesses this and is rightfully disgusted.

Jean, barefoot and key laden, stumbles upon Hawkins on his way to get his dick wet and since he has a singular focus, Hawkins pimps Jean out to the King. Excited to be dining with such a beautiful woman, the King ignores the fact it's usually not a good sign if the guards have to physically restrain your date.

Arriving at the Princess's chambers, "Giacomo" lays on the charm hard, telling her they'll run away together. The Princess takes the key to the secret tunnel under the assumption they will meet and flee in the dead of night. The King uses this exact moment to check in on his daughter, immediately uncovers her plan to leave and steals the key back making the last 10 minutes useless. After a brief side-quest where "Giacomo" agrees to murder the council for Ravenhurst, Griselda removes the love spell and erases Hawkins' memory for funsies and to further complicate the plot.

After getting all dolled up, Jean is escorted to the King on the way to dinner only to find out that left unsupervised, Hawkins got himself in a shitload of trouble and also returned the key to the King. He is, however, able to perform well enough to distract the King from the baby in a basket.

youtube

Things are further derailed after Griselda poisons the King's entire council during a toast and somehow nobody cares about this except Ravenhurst who thinks that "Giacomo" did it. This doesn't prevent the wedding of her lady to Griswold, however, since Gwendolyn outs her love for "Giacomo" the second Griswold walks through the door. Griswold decides to win Gwen's hand through TRIAL BY COMBAT, which means "Giacomo" needs to be declared a knight to participate.

Ravenhurst, pleased with how his plan is progressing, praises the man who hired Giacomo, who instead blindsides him with, "My guy, this development is cool and all, but I've never seen that dude in my life." They assume Hawkins is The Black Fox for whatever reason, and instead of ratting him out to the king, they advocate for expediting the jester's knighthood so he will be forced to kill Griswold. The knights go out of their way to rig the tests so THE CANDIDATE PASSES, damning Hawkins to most certainly die by Griswold's blade.

Tasked with keeping the mission afloat, Captain Jean attempts to seduce the king to once again steal the key. She succeeds in both turning him on, and then turning him off by regaling the plague that unfortunately killed her family, and like, imagine being scared of catching a contagious virus. Just take some horse dewormer, King, you'll be fine. Jean gets the key and hands it off to Fergus to be sent by bird to the legitimate Black Fox, proving you don't need to send messages by murder.

Hawkins' fears are inching closer and closer to reality as he is incredibly enthusiastically knighted by ceremony. Griswold immediately challenges him to TRIAL BY COMBAT and Hawkins accepts under the assumption The Black Fox will come soon and take his place in battle.

youtube

Those quickly shuffling men that resemble a marching band on steroids are The American Legion Zouaves Post no. 29 from Jackson, Michigan. Formed in 1898 as an exercise group, the drill team were famous for moving at 300 steps per minute and being able to launch all 18 of them over a 12 foot wall in 22 seconds. When Hollywood came calling, they initially thought it was a joke until they heard they were scouted based on one of their 5 performances on the Ed Sullivan Show. A group of 200 people saw them off on their flight to film in California while carrying a key to the city to be delivered to Danny Kaye. Their favorite person to talk to on set was Angela Lansbury, which is the most believable thing in the world to hear. Basil Rathbone attempted to learn the steps but apparently was not very successful since it's just as hard as it looks.

youtube

Steering back from that tangent, the morning of the big fight arrives and The Black Fox is nowhere to be seen as the secret passage is partially collapsed only leaving room for someone the size of a small child and if only The Black Fox knew of several small child-sized men who could navigate their way through the tunnel and start a diversion... The Black Fox, instead of saving Hawkins' life, decides to change the plan by recruiting Hawkins' acrobat friends (which he could have done at the beginning of this movie) and use them as a distraction to gain access to the castle.

Hung out to dry, Hawkins once again finds an ally in Griselda, whose neck is once again on the line as Gwendolyn declares if Giacomo is killed Griselda will be next. Griselda only knows of one way to kill a man, however, and poisons one of the cups that will be used for the pregame toast, as if pregame toasts were a thing. Problem is, Hawkins is having issues trying to remember which chalice's contents won't make him foam at the mouth and limply fall over.

youtube

RED LEATHER YELLOW LEATHER RED LEATHER YELLOW LEATHER UNIQUE NEW YORK UNIQUE NEW YORK

But right before the joust Hawkin's armor is struck by lightning which magnetizes it and oh my god I think whoever wrote this movie was on cocaine what is even happening. Danny Kaye changes out of his disco tunic and belt-I-swore-they-sold-at-Hot-Topic-in-2003 combo and dons his electrified armor to face his destiny. After the toast goes absolutely nowhere since Griswold gets word of the poison, they begin to battle and Griswold immediately knocks Hawkins' block off.

BUT THROUGH THE POWER OF A LITERAL ACT OF GOD Griswold's mace gets stuck to Hawkins' shield and he falls off his horse in defeat. Hawkins spares Griswold's life and is promised Gwendolyn's hand in marriage after The King's mealy mouthed apology about trying to get him killed and shit. This is a short lived victory as Hawkins is quickly outed by Ravenhurst as The Black Fox and Captain Jean as his accomplice. Poor Fergus was caught and tortured to reveal the heir apparent is hiding in the castle somewhere and Ravenhurst isn't about to take his chances at The Black Fox snatching the title of son-in-law.

Captain Jean and Hawkins are summoned before the court with Hubert sporting a surprising amount of chest hair for a prisoner. It's at that moment dozens of acrobats descend on the knights, launching their hilariously mannequin-esque bodies via catapult into the sea.

While The Black Fox and his men overthrow the castle, Hawkins confronts Ravenhurst mono e mono to mixed results. It isn't until Griselda Space-Jam-waters him into having confidence that Hawkins is able to corner Ravenhurst for a small moment to show off his wonderful dissection skills.

Hawkins eventually is able to scream and flail around long enough for the acrobats to launch a Ravenhurst-dressed rag doll into the sea, only to then be confronted by Griswold who wants to take down the traitors. The holy infant is then lowered from the ceiling so Hawkins can once again show off its ass revealing the baby as the true heir. The king is overthrown, Hawkins ends up with Jean, Gwendolyn magically likes Griswold for absolutely no reason, and a literal infant with no capabilities of ruling takes the throne. All hail the holy bloodline.

youtube

THE END.

This movie is a plot-heavy non-stop frantic fever dream that is also incredibly charming and funny. While I'm not completely sold on Danny Kaye and Glynis Johns' romantic connection, they play off each other incredibly well.

The whole cast sells the story in all its grand, melodramatic farce. Angela Lansbury, who is disorienting to see with long hair, cracked me up every time she threated to hurl herself off of a turret or murder a maid in order to get her way. Glynis really is our true hero, constantly running around keeping the motley crew on track, even if they didn't let her wear shoes the entire movie. Danny Kaye's facial expressions alone would have been worth more than the price of admission. I've watched this 4 times now and I find something new to giggle at during each repeat.

If you're looking for an evening full of brainless slapstick, The Court Jester more than fits the bill. Let the man in the ostentatious outfit entertain you - it's his job.

Thanks for reading on tumblr! If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

1 note · View note

coll2mitts · 10 months

Text

#32 Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)

Happy Independence Day! Sit back and watch The Man Who Owned Broadway hold FDR hostage for two hours while he divulges his entire life story because Mr. Roosevelt has nothing else important to focus his time on in the 1940s.

The good 'ol US of A has a very complicated history, and continues to make baffling policy decisions (to put it lightly). There is no lack of amount of dissenting opinions or criticisms proudly proclaimed against our country, and waving an American flag is a great indicator someone may be a bigoted right-wing nut job. But back in 1942, when this film was released, we were at the height of pro-American propaganda. There was no lack of Government made pieces of media, but Hollywood chipped in with Casablanca, This is the Army, The Great Dictator, Buck Private... Shit, the fucking Looney Tunes were making fun of Hitler. We continue to make films about America's Great War, because even though we killed over 100k Japanese civilians by bombing the shit out of them, entering the war is probably the last time anyone would admit America was "morally justified" in involving themselves in foreign conflicts.

When we entered Vietnam, and with our country's atrocities now being filmed and broadcast across the world, positive public opinion started to plummet, never recovering to those WW2 levels. Even attempts at a pro-Vietnam war propaganda, like John Wayne's The Green Berets, didn't produce the patriotic fervor the United States government wanted. Right after 9/11 it came closer than it ever had, because there's nothing like a terrorist attack on domestic soil to persuade citizens of a country to give up their basic rights to privacy and wear mass produced t-shirts made in overseas sweat shops proclaiming "Our Colors Don't Run". With the now 24-hour news media cycle and the amplification of all kinds of varying opinions, even during the Bush administration we could hear vocal outcry to their several war crimes. Sure, we'll still have American Sniper, but nothing will ever come off as sincere and rousing as a bunch of mannequins waving an American flag back and forth on a Broadway stage.

Because boy howdy, this is excellently made propaganda. Yankee Doodle Dandy is a fictionalized retelling of real-life actor/dancer/singer/composer/producer George M. Cohan, an Irish-American who grew up on the stage with his family by his side. The film is a squishy-timeline'd recounting of his rise to fame and wealth based on his talent and drive to succeed. And the in the most American origin story of all, its genesis may have been a result of its lead actor's desire to prove he wasn't a commie.

George M. Cohan is played by James Cagney, typically known for his roles in gangster movies even though he loved to sing and dance (I am convinced Hugh Jackman is trying to mimic his career). The real life Mr. Cohan was annoyed by Cagney's initial casting because he thought he was too pretty, leaning more toward someone like Fred Astaire, who is as goofy as he is good looking. Mr. Cohan was overruled, however, and by the time he viewed the film shortly before his death, he confessed he was a fool for his protests. James Cagney is lovely in this - he's charismatic and funny, improvising many of the bits that had me laughing out loud. He also worked with Mr. Cohan on this movie, and the script went through a lot of rewrites based on his feedback.

We open the movie on an older George M. Cohan performing on stage as FDR in a musical titled "I'd Rather Be Right". On opening night, after making out with his wife backstage in front of everybody, he receives a telegram from the White House from what George assumes is an annoyed Mr. Roosevelt. Only then does Mr. Cohan question whether or not its appropriate to impersonate a sitting president during an active war as he tucks his tail between his legs and takes the train to Washington.

Upon being greeted by a valet that remembers George's first visit to the grounds 30 years ago, we're treated to the mental image of that racist fucking asshole Teddy Roosevelt getting so jazzed up by Mr. Cohan's rendition of "You're a Grand Old Flag" that he would gleefully sing it in the bathtub. George is brought up to President Franklin Delano Roosevelt's office where a very well-meaning actor gives a faceless performance that will later be dubbed over in post. The president praises Mr. Cohan's patriotism, declaring, "That's one thing I've always admired about you Irish-Americans. You carry your love of country like a flag, right out in the open."

George informs the president that he inherited his nationalism from his father, who ran away to proudly fight in the civil war. Not to shit on my entire people, but I find it hard to believe that Irish-Americans were passionate about abolishing slavery for all people back in the 1860s. Mr. Cohan then takes this opportunity to kick-off the framing device by relaying his entire life story to a sitting president who clearly has nothing else to do.

Picture it: Providence, Rhode Island, 1878. It's the Forth of July, and Jerry Cohan, dressed like a leprechaun and sporting the worst Irish accent that I've heard since I've tried to do one myself, is rushing off the stage and back to the house to meet his newborn son George Washington Michael Cohan. With a baby sister, Josie (played by Cagney's real-life sister Jeanne), born several years later, the kids join the family business and the entire troop begin touring the vaudeville circuit as the aptly named 4 Cohans.

youtube

They're making this poor kid play a violin on his head while tap dancing. Lindsey Sterling could never.

Also, 13 minutes in and we've already got our first blackface performance. Add it to the list.

After snagging his first lead role at thirteen chucking eggs and flour at adults on stage, little Georgie lets the fame immediately go to his head. He can't help himself from mouthing off to Ed Albee, a theater owner who makes the mistake of offering The 4 Cohan's third billing in his new show (even though it'll double their salary) losing them the opportunity. His reformation comes shortly after he gets the shit kicked out of him by his father and a roaming gang of theater-going children because sometimes scrubs gotta get hit. The family then spends the next 10 years floundering around from city to city until George meets Mary, an "18-year-old" girl who visits him backstage to get advice on how to start in showbusiness. After fucking with her to test the waters on a potential grandfather fetish, he claims he can get her a gig with the show.

youtube

George rides his ego right into the next town, having his ingénue change her act last minute to a George M. Cohan original without informing the manager ahead of time. The manager is so incensed Mary replaced the (mysteriously now drunk) dog act with untested nonsense that he fires her, George, and George's family.

"Drunk or sober, the dog act goes on in the next show," might be my favorite line in all the 71 reviews I've written.

Black-balled and suddenly unemployed, Georgie teams up with Mary and starts shopping his material around to whatever producers will take a meeting. After several months of no dough (and with the goodwill of their landlord running thin), George pretends to sell one of his shows so his family will drop his toxic butt and tour without him to earn a bit of cash while "the show is in rehearsal". After they leave, George continues to pedal hoping he will Secret a career into existence.

youtube

"Who's strong and brave, here to save the American way..."

While working the circuit, George teams up with Sam H. Harris, a playwright that is having about as much luck with selling his content as Mr. Cohan is. They con an old man with his wife's money burning a hole in his pocket to buy a show about some jockey named "Little Johnny Jones" that George wrote because he was short and he wanted to star in it.

youtube

The only reason I know this song is because of Steel Magnolias. I also had no idea those weird bottlecap costumes were a real thing; I thought it was something Mary Poppins made up.

youtube

TIL Mr. Jelly Legs here wrote "Give My Regards to Broadway" for this musical in 1904.

With the success of George's Broadway show, he telegrams his family to join him back in New York so they can reestablish the act on a bigger stage. Gaining notoriety has also afforded him the opportunity to recruit big name stars like Fay Templeton, although she doesn't seem very keen on the idea since Mr. Cohan is mostly known for showy displays of patriotism, which she hates for some reason. It isn't until she hears him sing a repackaged "Give My Regards to Broadway" as a love song about living 45 minutes outside the city that piques her interest. The deal is well and truly sold after she hears "Mary", a song he wrote for his sweetheart. When George comes home to his song's namesake, he proposes marriage to take the edge off of some famous lady stealing her gig, and she accepts because her only role in this movie is to be as supportive of George as possible.

The proposal is genuinely adorable, though, as she tells him she loves looking after him, and he says he could cast her for that part for the rest of their lives. When she coyly asks to see some of the script they kiss, and then Cagney improvises the line, "Not bad for a first reading."

Mary is an amalgamation of the real-life George Cohan's two wives, and her song was originally written for one of Mr. Cohan's daughters, of which none are mentioned in this movie. Mary's inclusion was against the advisement of Mr. Cohan, who would have preferred neither of his wives were mentioned at all. The actress who plays her, Joan Leslie, turned 17-years-old on set. Like, I want to reiterate, she was a literal child, and they had to shut down filming early when she was involved because she legally couldn't work at night.

Anyway, George M. Cohan goes peak Americana with his latest show "George Washington Jr.", which features cameos from the boy scouts, veterans, African Americans singing in front of the Lincoln memorial, that fucking racist Teddy Roosevelt, and a seemingly infinite amount of American flags.

After his parents retire to run a farm and his sister gets married, he tries to go "legit" by writing a 3 act play with no songs that bombs. He doesn't have enough time to process his failure before a torpedo sinks the Lusitania. George tries to tap dance his way into the army but they reject him for being too advanced in age at an ancient thirty-nine years old. Instead, they argue he is much more valuable writing catchy propaganda for the troops.

youtube

After the war ends, George continues to make bangers (like more than 40 of them, dude's a workhorse). At that pace, it was common for him to have multiple shows running on Broadway at the same time. Sometime off-camera his mother and sister die, with his father following soon afterward. With his entire family gone, George processes his grief by quitting showbusiness and touring the world with Mary. He then takes an attempt at retirement on the farm until his old partner Sam calls asking him to come back for one. last. show. And take a guess who he wants George to play.

youtube

Now back at present day, we discover that FDR didn't call up Mr. Cohan for some late-night pillow talk. He wanted to award George M. Cohan with the Congressional Medal of Congress "for his Contribution to the America Spirit". Mr. Cohan is so touched by the gesture that he dances his way down the stairs, which is something Cagney improvised because he's in the top 10 most charming men who have ever been born.

youtube

Here's where I have the privilege of telling you that this is clearly not how the real George M. Cohan was awarded The Congressional Gold Medal of Honor for songwriting. While Cohan was a democrat and initially supportive of FDR, he did not approve of the president's view on unions. Cohan was a staunch union buster (sad trombone), so he refused to pick up his award for 4 years in order to avoid meeting with the president with the hope that his term would run out. FDR eventually was like, 'dude, come and get this thing it's taking up space', and Cohan begrudgingly accepted it in 1940 out of duty for his country. Apparently all was forgiven once Roosevelt hugged him, although I'm not sure it changed either of their opinions on labor laws.

It's a shame I'm not a blind flag-waving patriot, because this film is delightful. It's hard not to fall in love with the characters, and I genuinely laughed out loud in several parts at their dialogue. James Cagney can easily take credit for the majority of this - his improvised bits brought Mr. Cohan to life. I let out a surprised yelp when he took off his old man toupee, threw it on the ground and stomped on it - who thinks of that?? He even reprised this role several years later in The Seven Little Foys (Eddy Foy Jr. made a brief cameo in Yankee Doodle Dandy depicting his father). Like with Barbra Streisand and Fanny Brice, I'm sure going to have a hard time separating Cagney's depiction of George M. Cohan from his real-life counterpart.

If you can stomach a film that whole heartedly celebrates this quagmire of a nation (and full transparency, I failed last year because I just had my reproductive rights snatched away from me and was exhausted from googling which doctors in my state would give a single woman with no kids a tubal ligation), it's a pretty entertaining watch.

My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I assure you, I thank you for reading! If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

#unwarranted opinion #100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes

1 note · View note

coll2mitts · 10 months

Text

#30 Funny Girl (1968)

Funny Girl: How Feminism Killed My Marriage!

It was only coincidence I decided to watch Funny Girl after completing my review of A Star is Born, as it hits several of the same plot points. I honestly thought the only reason they were strikingly similar to me was because I viewed them back-to-back, but then two videos I watched about the Broadway production noted this as well, so I didn't feel entirely unjustified. Man with lots of money discovers woman before she becomes a star. They start a obviously doomed relationship and get married right as the wife's career starts to take off. The husband struggles with his own vices to the detriment of his wife's career, and ultimately their relationship ends because the husband is too proud and can't handle the fact their spouse makes more money than them. The end.

Although I don't think the plot is necessarily the reason to watch this movie (the reason is to watch Barbra Streisand be the most Barbra Streisand she can be), it is a fictionalized retelling of the rise of real-life burlesque star Fanny Brice and her relationship with her first husband Nick Arnstein. From all accounts this leans pretty heavy on the fictionalized, as Nicky was married when he and Fanny began their affair, it took him 6 years to get divorced from his previous wife to marry Fanny, and Fanny eventually divorced him because she was sick of him fucking around on her. Even though her love life was tumultuous, Fanny's career is what made her special, which is why it's a bit annoying that in the majority of this movie it takes a backseat to her fascination with a useless pretty boy. Although real-life Fanny's character was a Jewish characture, she helped in revising the criteria of what kinds of women could be famous performers. Beyond a good body and a pretty face, personality and talent were enough to gain notoriety. Although let's be real, it's not like Fanny was hideous or anything.

Barbra originated this role on Broadway, and it was tailor made to her talents. Check out the videos linked from Staged Right for a great summary of how the show was created, how Barbra was cast against the wishes of Fanny's non-fictional daughter, and what a seemingly contentious run the Broadway musical had. When Columbia bought the rights to the show, it was with the understanding Barbra would reprise the role on film. And oh boy, guys, this is probably one of the best love letters to a leading actress I've ever seen committed to celluloid.

Picture it: New York, 1920s. Fanny Brice, with her name in lights on the Ziegfeld Follies marquis, soberly enters backstage and greets herself in a sound clip I used as a log-in alert on AIM for like 6 years. Giving off "I'm going to retire" energy, Fanny wanders the stage and loiters in the empty theater until her assistant Emma finds her and cryptically asks "This is the day, isn't it?". Fanny confirms, and free of context I have no idea if this woman is making a comeback, or leaving showbusiness, or running away to join the circus. When Emma mentions that Ziegfeld is waiting for her, Fanny disassociates and we're treated to a flashback a few years earlier...

Picture it: New York, 1910s. A young Fanny Brice's neighbors are reading her for filth on her appearance and mocking her for having dreams of singing stardom.

youtube

I think this is the only ensemble number that doesn't take place on stage. Any solo or duet numbers with any character that aren't Fanny, like Eddie, Mrs. Brice, and Nick, have been cut so Barbra is on screen almost 100% of the time. I was genuinely shocked later on when Omar Sharif started singing because I forgot this was something someone other than Barbra was allowed to do.

Fanny heads to her new gig as a beautiful Arabian lady and is immediately fired for not knowing the routine and hamming it up the entire fucking time. The theater owner Mr. Keeney scolds the director Eddie Ryan for even casting such a goof while Fanny refuses to be dismissed and sings and dances her way around until they're forced to physically escort her out of the theater.

youtube

Mid-rant, and after accosting a few children, she breaks back in only to find everyone gone except Eddie, who after hearing her pipes asks why she even considered auditioning for a chorus girl when clearly she's a belter. I giggled uncontrollably when Fanny answered, "If you were looking for a juggler, I'd have been a juggler", cause girl, same. When I was a kid I legitimately auditioned for a part in Harlequin that required juggling skills full-well knowing I couldn't, and when asked to prove I could after the singing portion was acceptable, the ensuing display of athletic prowess cemented the fact I would absolutely not be chosen.

I tried googling this musical and I can't find evidence it ever existed. Maybe it was some public school choir teacher's passion project they only got to see kids perform once a year after a 3 week summer camp? Or maybe I had a fever dream when I was 10 and hallucinated being in it? IDK, help me out here.

Eddie decides to give Fanny a second chance at the chorus after she assures him she can roller skate, even though it was a bold-faced lie. After falling on her ass 20 times, which froths the audience into a frenzy, Eddie allows Fanny to sing a solo. Her unique blend of comedy, talent, and the sudden ability to skate once she's getting sole attention from everyone, wins over Mr. Kenney and Fanny is tentatively offered a permanent position.

youtube

"Honey hurry up, hurry up, hurry up..." is Barbra's signature slurry phrasing at its peak.

Fanny's shenanigans also catch the eye of a ridiculously attractive gambler Nicky Arnstein, who successfully hustles Mr. Kenney to hire Fanny for $50 a week, but is unsuccessful in asking Fanny out. She shrugs off his advances after surmising she is well out of his league, but oh my god, how the hell would anyone turn down Omar Sharif? I am not that strong willed.

According to Wikipedia, this is the fourth movie on this list that almost cast Frank Sinatra (previous ones including A Star is Born, The Music Man, and Easter Parade). For as much as y'all know I love Frankie, whoever suggested him over Omar should be well and truly slapped.

Several months later, there's a commotion on Henry street when the Brice's receive a telegram, and once the shock that someone hadn't died worn off, they're left in the wake of Ziegfeld's request for Fanny to come by his theater and audition. She reacts in a completely reasonable way.

Unsurprisingly, she aces the audition, and after fighting with Ziegfeld over how beautiful he thinks she is verses how she thinks she's not, she turns his new finale number from a bizarre ode to seasonal brides into a comedy act about a shotgun wedding in order to deflect anticipated criticism away from her face.

youtube

Peek a small cameo from Anne Francis, whose part was cut down so much she tried to get herself removed from the credits altogether. It's fine, instead she'll forever be known as the woman who pranked Dorothy Zbornak by pretending to die while beating her at tennis.

Fanny averts termination even though she deliberately ignored the directions of the director, again, because she's too much of a hit. She rides the high of bossing around Ziegfeld right into the arms of Nicky, who just so happens to be there on her opening night. This time she takes him back to her mother's saloon and he politely allows her friends and family to clean out his pockets at poker even though he's a bit of a professional gambler.

After charming the entire block, Nicky convinces Fanny to follow him to a second location out into the alley so they can be alone, and like, sure, this is a colossally bad idea, but how do you say no to that smile? After establishing both of them are single, Nicky adds more red flags to the parade of them by saying he's been with thousands of women because he likes to feel free and never has definite plans. Fanny reacts to this information by babbling incoherently about how some people kinda like being in relationships and Nicky kisses her to shut her up before riding off into the night.

I would die. Just drop dead right there, thank you and good night, it's been a good life.

Flash forward AN ENTIRE FUCKING YEAR and Fanny randomly runs into Nick again at a train station in Baltimore while the Follies are on their national tour. He invites her to dinner in a private dining room at their hotel, and while she momentarily pretends to be aloof, once inside she does exactly what I would do immediately if left alone in a room with Omar Sharif in 1967.

Fanny asks why Nicky never called on her a year and two weeks ago and he explicitly says he could smell the virgin all over her and didn't think she could hang. When asked what has changed now, he replies, "If you don't, it's time you learned."

So... they bone, and continue to bone the entire week the Follies are in town. Unfortunately after 7 days Nicky's racehorse turned into a pumpkin and he has to leave Fanny behind to board a boat to Europe to scam a bunch of bored dudes out of money since he doesn't have any anymore. Of course Nicky confesses to Fanny he's suddenly in love, so instead of going their separate ways after a brief sexcapade, Fanny abandons the show and makes a big romantic gesture by taking a tugboat to Nicky's waterborne casino to surprise him. Her coworkers try to convince Fanny this is a colossally bad idea and you could anger a million bulls with all the red flags Nicky's waving, but she simply. cannot say no. to that smile. I would make a joke that his dick must be legendary but she wouldn't know any better if it wasn't.

youtube

Oh look, another helicopter shot from the 1960s that's a million times better than the one in A Hard Day's Night.

Sidenote: Every time I hear "the sun's a ball of butter" I first cringe because I hate that line, and secondly think of this skit.

This was Barbra's first film role, by the way. Not that she wasn't well-known at this point - her voice was already acknowledged as one of the greats before she even turned 30. But she steals the camera in every freaking scene, especially this one when Fanny's clearly making the dumbest mistake ever. You root for Fanny; you want her to succeed in both life and love because Barbra is so charming. She won a Best Actress Oscar for this performance, and it's incredibly easy to see why.

To the surprise of everyone (even Fanny), Nick is ecstatic to see her - so ecstatic he only giggles when the porter calls him "Mr. Brice" instead of going on a several-day bender that ends with him crashing Fanny's Oscar acceptance speech. Of course Fanny plays the "please pick me, I'll never tie you down" card, only to THIRTY SECONDS LATER suggest to Nick that usually when two people love each other, they get married. Instead of jumping off of the boat and swimming toward the shore, Nick informs Fanny if he can win his huge payday, she'll get a husband. After much distress on Fanny's part, Nick later returns to the room with a big wad of cash, and they immediately return home to play house for a while.

youtube

Fanny went from on the road living like a mouse to being blissfully happy with a husband, a mansion, servants and a baby. But the other shoe finally starts to drop when Nicky's hot streak turns cold. While he's losing the house on oil fields that produce no oil, Fanny is headlining in a show, putting Nicky's ego in check. With a famous wife, his more-frequent losses are being broadcast around both his gambling community and society at large. When Fanny realizes Nick is drowning after he skips her show's opening night for a poker game, she sets up a scheme where his buddy Tom would approach Nick with a legit job offer running a local casino. After Tom informs Nick he wouldn't have to pony up start-up cash to make him a partner because his experience conning wealthy gentlemen was valuable enough, Nick smells the deception from a mile away and refuses the position because apparently it's incredibly embarrassing for your wife to network for you.

In an effort to get back on top, Nick decides to participate in an scammy bond scheme, gets caught, and pleads guilty to the crime so it doesn't look like he's stupid enough to agree to something without knowing how fucking illegal it is. Fanny goes to court to see Nick before they ship him off to prison for a few years, and when he tries to end the relationship by telling Fanny he will never be able to support her, Fanny asks him to reconsider. If Nick feels the same way when he gets out, she won't fight him on the divorce.

The absolute paranoia of a world where women could make more money than their husbands is fucking ridiculous to me. In both A Star is Born and Funny Girl, the moment the universe takes away the man's ability to monetarily provide for his family he suddenly feels as if he has nothing to contribute. His masculinity and his ego get in the way of being truly proud of his wife. The women are both willing to entirely give up their careers to take care of their deadbeat husbands (even asserting in public they should be referred to by their husband's last name), which is baffling on its own, but they've already made the irreversibly irredeemable crime of perusing success, even when their husbands initially encouraged it. All I learn from these stories is that men want strong women, strong enough where he can brag about them, but not strong enough to overshadow them. If that starts to happen, the wife needs to intuitively shrink in order to give their husband the chance to catch up.

One thing you can't fault Nicky for is hiding his true nature. He told Fanny exactly who he was when they first met. He never had a set schedule because he wanted to feel free. She was Woman and he was Man, and she should be smaller so he can be taller. He might have cosplayed as a dependable dude for a few years, but ultimately he reverted back to his default.

youtube

Flash forward to the beginning of the movie, where we finally discover that Nick had been released from prison and Fanny would find out the state of their relationship before she went on stage. She warns Ziegfeld that if Nick wants to give it another shot she's going to quit the show, because being a housewife will be the only thing to placate Nick's fragile masculinity. Thankfully she doesn't need to keep that promise, because when the pair are finally reunited she can tell by his behavior that this dude is about to drop the hammer. Fanny preemptively ends things, and then goes on stage to sing about her heartbreak.

youtube

The end of the movie differs from the musical in a pretty significant way as Fanny belts a lament for the end of her marriage. Barbra insisted singing the vocals at the end of the song live, and had Omar Sharif recite the line "You are beautiful" to her before each take to make her more emotional. It worked - I cry every time I watch the end of this movie.

"My Man" was a song the real-life Fanny Brice popularized in the Ziegfeld Follies Broadway show, which is the only reason it appears here, ending this depressing story on a weak downbeat that legitimately shocked me when the credits rolled. In the Funny Girl musical, Fanny goes through a variety of emotions that reprise the songs in the show - bitter and sad, but ultimately victorious with a powerful rendition of "Don't Rain on My Parade." I can only attribute this change as the beginning of the 1970s bummer parade of weird musicals that make you want to slit your wrists on the way out.

And if this wasn't enough, several years later they filmed a sequel to this, Funny Lady, about Fanny Brice's relationship with her second husband Billy Rose, who was just as shitty of a partner as Nick Arnstein was. Their marriage also ends in divorce, so if you want to watch the same movie as Funny Girl but with a clunkier script just to get 10 minutes of Omar Sharif reprising his role as Nicky being as sleezebaggy as ever, don't bother. It's not worth it.

Funny Girl is a show that will forever be associated with Barbra, to the point where its protagonist Fanny is more of a fictionalized character than a real-life previously-breathing human being. This movie is fairly entertaining, although it clearly reflects the ideals of its time. If you like Barbra, it's a must-see. If not, avoid it at all costs, cause there's nothing else here other than her.

Except a hunky Omar Sharif being stupidly charming. There is also that.

Thanks for reading! If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

#100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes #unwarranted opinion

2 notes · View notes

coll2mitts · 11 months

Text

undefined

youtube

DUDE.

#45 Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

This story is a cautionary tale against playing a murder hobo in your RPG.

Let’s uh… Let’s talk about teenage Colleen for a moment here. I know, I don’t want to do it either, but context is needed and so it shall be provided.

Picture it: Grand Rapids, 2002. 15-year-old me, who very much loved shopping at Hot Topic, watching anime, and listening to System of a Down, went on vacation with my family for winter break. My father, who enjoys a wide variety of artistic expressions (except The Offspring’s “chainsaw music”) procures tickets at the Civic Theater for an unknown-to-him musical, Sweeney Todd. None of my family, in fact, had any idea what it was about, so it was to my absolute delight when a demented barber started lopping off heads with a razor at the end of the first act. It was the most bizarre musical I had ever witnessed, and my only critiques were this:

The squealing noise they play every time a character is killed was too loud.

Sweeney sang about his razors too much.

The love story was dumb.

Other than that, once I returned home, I downloaded whatever was available on Kazaa. Sondheim has never, ever, been my jam, except for this musical, which I would defend with my life. There is an entire song about baking people into pies. It is the most on-brand thing that could have ever existed for the teenage version of me.

So imagine my utter delight several years later when it was announced that Tim Burton would be adapting it to screen, with Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Alan Rickman as the leads. My favorite director and my favorite people and my favorite musical… I honestly couldn’t have cast it better in my mind. I had a promo poster hanging up in my dorm room for months. And then, I went and saw it and just… had some feelings I didn’t expect.

I think this story lends itself to film very well, because it gives a lot of opportunities of showing, not telling. The stage musical has a repeating chorus of cast members explaining to the audience the show they are about to see (put a pin in this, we’ll get back to it), but we don’t need that in film because it can very explicitly show Sweeney Todd slitting throats of randos that just wanted a shave. The uncomfortably up-close opening credits following the pie making process was brilliant and perfectly set expectations regarding the amount of gore your eyeballs are about to be accosted with. The sheer amount of blood they could use in this slasher film gleefully elevated it to campy as fuck. It was one of the great additions that obviously can’t be replicated on stage. Well, not without a splash zone, that is.

The horror aspect is the best part about this movie. I giggled incessantly during the Johanna murder montage. Every thud of a person rocketing down the body chute cracked me up. Also, the suspense during the first shaving scene with the Judge had me cringing, and I already knew what was going to happen.

The fantasy montages also worked fairly well. “By the Sea” is kind of a throwaway song in the stage musical, but it’s genuinely funny in the movie, where its vignettes overtly show how different Mr. Todd and Mrs. Lovett’s idea of an ideal future are.

These changes come with a set of maybe unintended consequences. I understand why the chorus was removed, and I support it generally, but without the character introductions, the first time we see Sweeney is on a boat with Anthony brooding that there’s no place like London. There’s no fanfare, no shrill sopranos shrieking his name, no grand reveal. Basically, it takes one of the most powerful entrances of a titular character, one that always causes the audience to spontaneously applause, and reduces it to a quiet moment of Johnny Depp trying out the ridiculous accent he’s developed for this role.

But the most egregious misuse of showing-not-telling is “A Little Priest”, god help me…

“A Little Priest” as a song is such a fucking masterpiece. If you look up “dark comedy” in the dictionary, it’s just a picture of Patti LuPone offering an imaginary meat pie filled with people meat to George Hearn.

youtube

It is 8-minutes of cannibalism puns. Patti setting up George with “How can you tell?” is my entire life. The joy I feel every time I listen to this song is just… Heavenly! It doesn’t need a fancy set or props because it’s based on their imagination. Bringing reality to this seems completely misguided.

But what does the movie do with this song? BUTCHER IT :ba dum tss:

youtube

It shows every person they’re willing to murder to boost Mrs. Lovett’s meat pie business, but does that really add anything? Mr. Todd and Mrs. Lovett spend the majority of the song casing the neighborhood out the window, which I think is meant to convey their predatory nature. The side-effect of this, however, is they are barely interacting, removing the majority of the magic of these characters finally understanding each other for the first time. Sure, they dance a little, but then Sweeney starts leading Mrs. Lovett around by her neck, exerting his dominance over her, when the whole fucking point of the song is Sweeney realizing Mrs. Lovett is his equal. He literally places his cleaver at her neck when talking about murdering the judge, even though she’s just established as his partner in crime. This is the campiest song in the entire show, and while the rest of this movie has wholeheartedly embraced the ridiculousness of the entire plot, "A Little Priest” somehow comes off as tedious and slightly abusive. And neither of them look like they’re having that much fun with it.

This song just highlights the miscasting of Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Their portrayal of these characters is understated in comparison to their stage counterparts, and part of this I understand because of the medium they’re working within. What plays great to the back of the room in a stage production is going to look like overkill when the camera is a few feet from the actor’s face. But Johnny Depp’s Sweeney looks bored and uninterested instead of brooding, and Helena’s Mrs. Lovett is so fragile that a strong wind would bring her down. I really, really love Helena Bonham Carter in other roles, but she cannot sing. Something as vocally demanding as the role of Mrs. Lovett is hard for a professional, as she has to persistently exert power so the audience believes she can hold her own against a literal serial killer. Every time Helena sings, it feels so thin - she doesn’t hold out a single note, and nothing is at a volume louder than a whisper. Her timid nature reads as victimization of her circumstances instead of a willing participant in this scheme.

During the promo of this movie, it was mentioned several times that Johnny Depp was in a band, so having him finally get the opportunity to use his voice in a role was going to pay off. It, um… didn’t. I feel like the dumb accent he affected got in the way of him properly singing. Tim Burton’s inability to not cast Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter in every single film he makes really did a disservice to this movie. Like, there are more than a few actors and actresses that can sing this role.

The rest of the cast are excellent, which makes this so disappointing. Typically Anthony and Johanna are played by people in their 30s, but they cast age appropriate actors in these roles who can sing, and who both captivated my attention. The amount I care about the romance between Anthony and Johanna in the stage show is 0%. In general, the whole situation is fairly unsettling, considering their “love song” is Johanna talking about killing herself to prevent daddy-fiancé from marrying her while Anthony pleads with her to kiss him. The film does away with this, making Anthony’s obsession with Johanna appropriately creepy, and her willingness to go along with him as only a means to an end to get away from her captor. I appreciated this interpretation, and felt it added depth to both their characters.

youtube

Jayne Wisener makes this very difficult song sound effortless and beautiful. The later scenes where she alludes to her ongoing trauma from the entire experience was perfect to include. It illustrates the consequences of being used as a human prize by people who give no consideration to her thoughts and feelings.

youtube

Jamie Campbell Bower gives me goosebumps when he sings “Johanna”. His face has disturbing determination written all over it, and it makes me feel like maybe Johanna may not be in better hands with him instead of the judge or her murdering, but devoted father. She really has no good options - it’s heartbreaking.

Sasha Baron Cohen and Ed Sanders also do a great job portraying Pirelli and Toby respectively. Sweeney Todd came out shortly after Borat, and to tell you I didn’t expect this from him is an understatement.

And Alan Rickman was perfect, as fucking always. God, I love and miss Colonel Brandon.

I wanted to love this movie when it came out, and also upon rewatch, but I just don’t. Maybe if it were my only exposure to the source material it would have held the same place in my heart as the stage show, but because I’ve seen Patti LuPone knock this out of the park, I’m always going to wonder what could have been.

Cast more broadway actors in movies, is all I’m saying. It worked for Julie Andrews films, it can work again.

#Youtube

5 notes · View notes

coll2mitts · 11 months

Text

#15 A Star is Born (1954)

When life unfortunately imitates art.

A Star is Born is a tale of addiction and fame that has four film adaptations that have nothing to do with the fact it's clear Oscar bait (although Judy did famously lose this one to Grace Kelly). Did you guys know the entertainment industry changes and exploits people? I surely didn't realize this until now, and that's why the academy has consistently rewarded movies that talk about how weird Hollywood is. Y'know. Cause there's so few of them.

I'm being glib, as this movie is probably one of the more sympathetic views of the big studio system, for all its flaws. It focuses on Esther Blodgett, a singer in a touring band, and how her encounter and subsequent relationship with big-star actor Norman Maine changed her career, and thus her life. This film is 3 hours long (it used to be both shorter and longer, for reasons explained later), and it *feels* that long. For every moment of levity there are 30 minutes of pain, and while this feels tedious sometimes, it does a great job of illustrating the highs and lows of caring for someone struggling with addiction. They burn so brightly in those small moments when everything is spectacular that it's almost worth slogging through the periods of grim instability that does nothing but foreshadow a bleak future.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story I will give a rundown below. If you're curious how this 1954 version differs from the other three films, Be Kind Rewind has an excellent video that you should watch after reading this. Seriously though, check out her channel, it's incredibly informative.

Esther Blodgett (Judy Garland) and the Glenn Williams Orchestra, lead by her buddy Danny McGuire (the adorable Tommy Noonan, who will forever be Gus in my eyes) have booked a gig during a benefit concert. Norman Maine, a famous Hollywood actor, is supposed to perform as well, but he shows up drunk as a skunk and is having much more fun harassing the cast and crew than he is preparing to go on stage. While his PR agent Matt Libby has correctly identified Norman is in no position to be in front of people, he tries to distract him by sending him to the dressing rooms to be interviewed. This works for about 5 minutes until he hulks out and joins Esther and the gang on stage just for funsies.

youtube

In the sprit of 'fuck it, we'll do it live', Esther succeeds in getting Norman involved with the act as comedic relief, he gets the positive attention he craves from the audience, and everyone laughs like this isn't a big disaster played out in public.

Norman tries to thank Esther for saving him from looking even more like an ass by trying to get her to go to a second location with him. Even though Esther finds this strangely sweet, Danny wisely helps her escape to their next gig and Libby takes Norman home to sleep it off. That would be the end of it if Norman didn't arise from the grave like a vampire at 2:30am to hunt down Esther like she's his prey. He finds her at a club on Sunset where her and her friends are rehearsing, and oh my god, it's so glorious.

youtube

I love Judy's voice; I get goosebumps every time I hear her. She's such a powerhouse.

Also, FUN FACT: The composer of this song, Harold Arlen, scored Gay Purr-ee, so if you also think "The Man That Got Away" bares a striking resemblance to "Paris is a Lonely Town", there's a legitimate reason for that.

A now-sober Norman bombards Esther with metaphors about her excellence and gradually isolates her from the group by physically dragging her around. Danny tries to separate them, but Esther leaves with Norman all the same to go back to her place and discuss her career goals. When she reveals she wants to get a #1 record on Hit Parade, Norman retorts that Esther's dream is not big enough and she's wasting her time paling around with undignified gig musicians. Esther is only slightly insulted by Norman's blatant disregard of the work she's already put in to get where she is, but buys into his promise to snag her a screen test. Esther then breaks Danny's heart by quitting the band and asking them to move on to San Francisco without her. Danny tries to change her mind by suggesting she might not want to trust a flake (no matter how charming he is), but Esther believes Norman sees potential in her nobody else has, igniting her desire to aim higher.

Of course Norman gets loaded after leaving Esther's house and his late night call to the head of the studio, Oliver Niles, is completely blown off as Norman trying to impress some broad he likes. Instead, the studio ships Norman out to work on his next picture, completely abandoning Esther for 5-6 weeks. Esther, never hearing back from Norman, moves into a cheaper place and gets a job as a roller skating waitress in an attempt to make ends meet while she attends auditions. She manages to book a VO gig singing in a shampoo commercial, which helps Norman locate her upon his return because he recognizes her distinct voice on the television. After tracking Esther down at the boarding house she's slumming in, Norman finally follows through with his promise and lands her a screen test.

This montage of Esther and Norman separating and reuniting is particularly bizarre as it is presented as pages in Esther's scrapbook - still sepia-tinted images with the character's dialogue dubbed over it. It didn't feel intentional, as some of the scenes are live action, like a car or a bus pulling away from a building, or a shot of a woman's hand dipping into shampoo. I initially assumed this artistic decision was to cut down the film's length, but the dialogue was still there, so it wasn't succeeding if that were the goal. I later discovered the version of the film I was watching was the "restored" director's version, as the original wide-release had 30 minutes removed by order of the studio in an effort to cut down its considerable runtime. Unfortunately, when Ron Haver, the film curator at the L.A. County Museum of Art, attempted to find the lost footage for the film's 1983 re-release, he discovered these scenes were truly lost to time (literally, as they could not find the original film reels). Their "remedy" included displaying production stills with VO from the audio tapes they were able to locate. Honestly, I think all of this particular section could have stayed on the cutting room floor, as it's a 30-minute detour that ends with Norman getting Esther the screen test, anyway. I'm assuming these scenes were included as a way to show Norman struggling to help Esther despite his alcoholism, and Esther's new commitment to become famous. We get those impressions through their initial interactions, so this not-so-little side-quest truly feels redundant. Later lost scenes, however, such as (spoiler alert) Norman's marriage proposal to Vicki, are pretty baffling omissions. I don't think the cuts robbed Judy of her Oscar win like Lorna Luft does, but it does fuck up the movie's continuity.

Upon Esther's first visit to the studio, the makeup department completely change her look after going into great detail about her flaws. Norman hates the outcome and redoes her makeup to restore Esther's natural beauty. Although Esther is nervous, she nails the audition and starts to book small parts, like those that require putting on a full face of makeup only to wave out the window of a train. They even yell at her when they see her face, which is as blatant of a metaphor for being a woman in showbusiness if I ever saw one. After the studio changes Esther's name to Vicki Lester, Norman convinces Oliver to cast Vicki as the lead in a new picture after their previous one bailed. Upon release, the film becomes a wild success, and Vicki Lester's star quickly rises.

Y'know, I really want to take a tally of the percentage of the musicals on this list that feature their white stars in blackface or parody other racial stereotypes, cause it's more than I thought it would be. Judy's daughter Lorna has mentioned Judy's foray into impersonating other races was "of its time", but I'm finding it incredibly exhausting and lazy that blackface is consistently used as shorthand for being poor or othered.

While the first half of this movie isn't necessarily incredibly upbeat, the rest of it goes downhill from here. While Norman's newly released movie is getting terrible reviews, everyone is now obsessed with Vicki. Feeling as though he's done what he could to introduce Esther to the world, Norman tries to leave her, citing he's an too-old disaster that will only drag her down. Esther responds to this by confessing her love to him, and instead of Norman bailing, they quickly get engaged in the creepiest eavesdropping-est way on the back of the promise that Norman will quit drinking.

youtube

The pair first run to the head of the studio because apparently they need his permission to move forward with this doomed marriage. Oliver gives his approval hoping that Vicki will be the positive influence that helps Norman stay on the straight and narrow. While Libby feels as if they're setting a trap for Vicki, he agrees to spin the story for the positive in order to give Norman some much needed good press. Of course they exhaust any temporary good-will Libby was extending to them when the embarrassingly-named Mr. Earnest Sydney Gubbins and Esther Blodgett elope to a tiny courthouse to get married in secret. When they reach their roadside motel honeymoon destination, Vicki hears her new song "It's a New World" on the radio as it reaches #1 on Hit Parade, implying that all of Esther's dreams have now come true.

youtube

They start their new life by purchasing an expensive house on a ocean-side cliff, only for Oliver to break the news to Norman that the studio has decided to let him go because of his inconsistent behavior. Libby publicly plays it off like Norman is pursuing other opportunities, while in reality he's relegated to a house husband, making sandwiches, taking messages, and pensively putting golf balls. While Norman seems generally supportive of Vicki's budding career, a delivery man calls him Mr. Lester and the bruise to Norman's ego sends him into a bender. This starts to jeopardize Vicki's career when Norman decides to crash her Oscar acceptance speech by stumbling on stage and publicly declaring he needs a job.

youtube

3 months later, Norman is in rehab and Vicki is on set filming her latest movie. When Oliver comes to check on her, Vicki breaks down to one of the few people that understand her predicament, as she's both frustrated and scared by Norman's behavior.

youtube

Judy serves a heartbreaking performance during this monologue, with many speculating that this particular story hit too close to home. Judy's life somewhat mimicked Norman's, as she was fired from MGM because of her inconsistent behavior as a result of her own addictions. She was forced into the entertainment industry before she turned 3 years old, and even as a child was given amphetamines to keep her working and skinny. As she got older those habits became harder to break, especially when barbiturates were added to the mix to help her sleep. Most of her life had been spent earning money to provide for her parents, and then her own family, without the ability to choose if she could keep her pregnancies, or take time off after she was allowed to have Liza, in order to keep the checks rolling in for the studio. After years of constantly working with the help of prescription drugs, Judy struggled with mental health issues that the studio went through great lengths to hide, and the press was ecstatic to exploit.

Judy's husband at this time, Sid Luft, produced A Star is Born in order to cast Judy in this role and make the movie a musical. Filming was difficult, but both Judy and James gave outstanding performances, as you feel the love between them while the heartbreak of addiction takes a toll on their marriage. Judy and Sid's relationship similarly didn't work out, as Sid confessed it was too difficult being with her. Judy hated him toward the end of her life as custody battles kept her from her children. If you've listened to any interview with Judy or her kids, she was incredibly loving and supportive of them, valuing her family over everything else. She ended her life completely disillusioned with the same industry that lifted her up, because they were even more gleeful in knocking her down by depriving her of her own voice.

Judy is mostly remembered as a young girl belting out "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", or bounding around with Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire in romantic comedies, but this movie (specifically this scene) shows how underrated as a dramatic actress she was. The end scene of this movie between Esther and Danny legitimately scared the director, as Judy had never screamed on camera before. During Judy's eulogy, James Mason said "she could wring tears out of hearts of rock," and he's not wrong.

Upon Norman's release, he runs into Libby, who lashes out at him in frustration, leading to a physical altercation that Norman follows up with another bender. After several days of no-contact, Oscar and Esther find him in jail on a drunk and disorderly charge after he crashes his car, and Esther begs the judge to let him come home with her so she can take care of him. She puts Norman to bed and confides in Oliver she's quitting the business to take care of her husband and give his sobriety a fighting chance. She has forced herself to believe that love will now be enough, and that Norman can be fixed if she can devote her time to him. When Oliver protests because Norman's career is through, Esther reiterates she wouldn't have her career without Norman's connections and encouragement. Unfortunately Norman overhears this conversation from the other room, and takes it upon himself to release Esther from the burden of being his wife by wading into the ocean and drowning.

As much as Esther wants to process her grief in her own time, her good friend Danny pushes her to rejoin the land of the living by attending the same benefit concert she performed at a year ago when she met Norman. Norman was incredibly proud of the fact he discovered Vicki, and Danny posits he would be disappointed if she threw it all away because of him. Vicki decides to show up at the shrine, and when she takes the stage to introduce herself as Mrs. Norman Maine, the crowd goes wild. While they were dismissive of Norman and his disease while he was alive, they revere him and support Vicki after his death.

youtube

This is not a movie I would revisit often, as it emotionally takes a toll, but this is an absolute must-watch. Judy's performance proves why she's considered a legend - she's funny, flirty, hopeful, frustrated, heartbroken, and devastated, and all-the-while her voice is a goddamn masterpiece. James Mason similarly does a splendid job at portraying a charismatic and caring, but flawed and proud protagonist. I'm fairly uninterested in seeing the other versions, as I could easily be happy with this being the definitive telling of this story. Judy is absolutely everything, I don't know why anybody else would even try competing with her performance.

Thanks for reading! If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

#unwarranted opinion #100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes

3 notes · View notes

coll2mitts · 11 months

Text

undefined

youtube

Patrick Willems finally watched Lagaan and was similarly perplexed by the rules of cricket, so I feel somewhat justified by being bored watching THREE IN-MOVIE DAYS OF IT.

Patrick attempted to learn the game in an effort to understand it, though, so this is another example of like one million why he's a better media critic than I am lmao

#33 Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India (2001)

The only Bollywood film on this list, and it’s a 4-hour epic about playing cricket to liberate the citizens of Champaner from the rule of the British empire.

Picture it: India, 1893. The British are being dickbags and collecting tax (lagaan) from a small farming village in exchange for protection from their violence. This is shitty and immoral in general, but there is a drought this growing season, and no crops to collect tax from. Their king pleads to British Captain Andrew “Fuckface” Russell, to use his influence to allow them to pray at a distant shrine for it to rain. Instead of helping them, Captain Fuckface humiliates the vegetarian king by asking him to eat meat as payment, which he refuses to do. To punish the king for having religious conviction, Captain Fuckface doubles the taxes of a village that literally cannot grow anything because they have no water.

Meanwhile, the villagers are losing their shit because they see a few rain clouds and think their luck is changing. They preemptively celebrate with the jauntiest of musical numbers that is so excellently performed, choreographed, and filmed that I couldn’t help but shuffle in my seat while I was watching it.

youtube

Unfortunately, the clouds pass them by, and their disappointment is only punctuated by the news they’re expected to pay double tax. A group of the villagers decide to appeal the decision to the king, even though they know it’s coming from those fucking British Imperialists. They find the king hanging out with their oppressors while enjoying a game of cricket. Bhuvan, our hunky main character, cannot keep his opinions to himself and remarks their cricket game looks like something stupid children play. Captain Fuckface overhears him and offers him a deal - In three months, if the villagers can beat him and his cronies at a game of cricket, they will exempt them from taxes for 3 years. If the villagers lose, however, they will be forced to pay 3x the tax for 3 years. Bhuvan, going against the will of literally all of his friends, agrees to the terms.

When the party returns with the news that Bhuvan has committed them to a high-stakes game that literally none of them know how to play, the villagers are understandably upset with him. They try to convince Bhuvan to apologize and ask Captain Fuckface to take back the deal, but he refuses, as he thinks the opportunity to succeed is too great, and he will not apologize for doing something that he believes will benefit all the citizens.

His friend Gauri, who is not-so-secretly in love with him, decides to help him with the task of recruiting players. They conduct covert operations to try and learn how cricket is played by observing the other team at their practices. Captain Fuckface’s sister, Elizabeth, happens to see them watching the game, and offers to teach them how to play. She believes her brother is being unfair, and her loins feel all hot when she looks at Bhuvan. They accept her help and train with her in secret.

Now that they have a coach, Bhuvan and Gauri appeal to the village again to recruit more players. Another catchy song later, they convince enough people to form a team.

youtube

Elizabeth, who magically learns Hindi in a day, helps the men train. Gauri is suspicious of her intentions, and makes it known as much as possible that she’s ride-or-die for Bhuvan and Elizabeth should back the fuck up.

When her subtle hints aren’t enough, she sings about Bhuvan’s wandering eye. He tells her she has nothing to worry about as he has no interest in this bland white woman.

youtube

All these musical numbers are so fire, I love them so much.

In a twist, Lakha, a woodcutter, is jealous of Gauri’s love for Bhuvan, as he wants her for his wife himself. Instead of accepting she doesn’t feel the same way about him and moving on to literally anybody else, he decides to go to Captain Fuckface and inform him his traitor sister Elizabeth is coaching the villagers. Even though this would force his entire village to pay triple tax for 3 years, Lakha’d rather do that than see Bhuvan win, which is fucking insane. It’s fucking insane. Captain Fuckface Smugsmirk asks Lakha to join Champaner’s cricket team and sabotage them from the inside. Afterward, CFF confronts his sister Elizabeth about helping them, and instead of killing her, he just tells her very sternly she can’t do it anymore.

Elizabeth ignores his wishes and continues to train the villagers in secret, because she is in love with Bhuvan. She tells him, in English, how she feels, which he does not understand. Gauri can read the room, however, and storms off because she’s afraid Bhuvan feels the same way about Elizabeth. He, instead, confesses his love to Gauri in a song that is half a beautiful confession of emotion between a new couple, and half Elizabeth filming a tampon commercial.

youtube

After a short 5-minute detour where Bhuvan just happens to end the centuries-long caste system, the day of the big cricket game arrives. This takes up the last 90 minutes of this movie. Apparently, a cricket match can take 3 days to play?! HOW. HOW IS THIS HOW CRICKET WORKS.

After the :sigh: first day of cricket playing, the team realizes that Lakha is trying to throw the game, and the village, very reasonably, tries to kill him. Bhuvan saves him, and Lakha feels so much shame that he decides to help them win.

After the :siiiiiigh: second day of cricket, the villagers are still significantly behind in points because of the massive lead the British gained on the first day. Gauri leads a prayer appealing to a higher power to help them win the game.

youtube

On the :siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh: THIRD DAY of the cricket match, things are looking bad for the British when the citizens of Champaner (mostly Bhuvan) start getting runs left and right. In a move of desperation, the British pitcher basically bowls the little ball thing into members of the Champaner team and injures like 3 of their batters so they can’t continue to play. I’m not even going to look up to see if this is a thing that they’re allowed to do, cause in the context of this movie, it apparently is. Also, it’s the British Empire, and I’m sure they can make up whatever fucking rules they want.

Turns out, I give zero shits about cricket, and still don’t understand the basic rules even after watching this movie. Gonna be honest… I sped up the last like 30 minutes because I just couldn’t cricket anymore. To clarify, it wasn’t bad - if you like cricket or sports in general, this could TOTALLY be your jam. But after 3+ hours of this movie and zero interest in any sport that isn’t hockey, I couldn’t slog through it at normal speed.

Oh, and to the surprise of nobody watching this movie, the British still end up losing and the entire village celebrates.

The British surprise everybody by keeping their word, and exempt the province from three years of taxes. Embarrassed by the loss, the British decide to abandon their rule over Champaner, which sounds totally realistic. Captain Fuckface is shipped off to Africa as punishment, and Elizabeth leaves with the rest of the encampment after she realizes she has zero chance with Bhuvan. She returns to England and never marries because Bhuvan has her heart until she dies, which is just… so grim. He’s cool and all, but sweetie, move on.

This movie is great - it’s filmed beautifully, has a ton of likable characters, high plot stakes, and absolute bangers of songs. If I cared about sports I’d personally give it a 10/10, but seeing as I’m a dumb half-canadian whose brain cannot focus on any sport that doesn’t require ice, I give it a 7/10.

#Youtube

23 notes · View notes

coll2mitts · 1 year

Text

#38 The Music Man (1962)

Welcome to The Music Man, the wordiest musical to ever have musical'd until Hamilton came along.

Apparently they originally wrote almost 40 songs for the show, so it could have been even wordier. Coincidentally, I've linked like 40 videos in this fiasco of a review because The Music Man's cultural impact is insane and it's almost unbelievable how I've been able to avoid this movie until now.

Picture it: River City, Iowa, 1912. A train full of travelling salesmen, including Paul F. Tompkins, can't get Harold Hill's name out of their mouths.

I see no difference here.

This scallywag has been sellin' every town in Illinois a bill of goods by pretending he's a band leader in order to get a bunch of well-meaning parents to buy their boys some brass instruments. Once the instruments arrive, he leaves them high and dry with a hobby not a single child can pursue. These "upstanding" proto-MLM patriots, guilty by association, can't sell to the same town after a man who doesn't know the territory wrecks havoc, and they vow to hunt Harold down to stop him. Mr. Hill (Robert Preston), who happens to be on the same train, decides to wisely out himself to everyone by hopping off at the next stop to work his con on another green patch of people.

youtube

Barbara Cook, who originated the role of Marian on Broadway, said "Rock Island" wasn't always a hit because it was originally scored. It didn't truly take off until they removed the instruments because audiences were shocked the show started with an acapella number. It's novel how the lyrics speed up and slow down with the momentum of the train, even if after a while my brain disassociates and everything sounds like a word salad.

Harold finds himself in the quiet and quaint River City - a place that's biggest entertainment is a new Pool table.

Subtle.

Not five minutes after arriving, Greg Harold runs into his old business partner Marcellus Wallace Washburn (Buddy Hackett), who has disappointingly gone legit. After waving another scheme under Marcellus' nose, he takes the bait and helps Harold case the town. Finding it devoid of general sin that can only be fixed by rigorous music lessons, Harold feigns a mortality panic to whip the town into a frenzy. Turns out pockets can turn an entire city into a festering cesspool, and that's why they removed them from tabletop games and all women's clothing.

youtube

My first knowing exposure to this musical was, again, from Grace and Frankie, when Robert sings this song. I had no idea that everyone and their mother had covered or parodied this fucking thing. It's iconic, and Robert Preston, who originated this role on Broadway (and who the writer of the show, Meredith Wilson, fought so hard to cast for the movie that they almost revoked the entire project when the studio was in talks with Frank Sinatra) makes this very difficult song look easy. It's wordy and the rhythm is relentless, odd and irregular, which I didn't even really notice until I unfortunately listened to Hugh Jackman barely make it through it.

Also, I regret to inform you that Seth MacFarlane would make an excellent Harold Hill.

There's only one person that can potentially come between Harold and his big payday - Marian "the Librarian" Paroo (Oklahoma's Shirley Jones). When she's not recommending smutty tentacle porn to teenagers, she teaches young kids to play piano. Both Marcellus and Harold are nervous that one whiff of ignorance from the "professor" might set off alarm bells, so Mr. Hill decides to woo Marian in order to distract her. While Marian is generally disgusted by his (and the town's) behavior in general, her mother is surprisingly open to her daughter getting stalked a little by a strange out-of-town man. After all, those novels Marian reads set unrealistic expectations for romantic relationships, and if she'd just fucking lower her standards she might be able to pop out a few babies before she turns 26.

The next morning, the town is celebrating the 4th of July with some bland indoor slideshow. What follows is the most American minute that has ever been recorded to film: Blind, showy patriotism, mocking of the indigenous people we murdered and displaced in order to conquer this great land, school violence, unfounded moral panic, and a con-man capitalist taking advantage of chaos to convince everyone his product will put them at ease.

The Mayor's wife decides to dress up like an American Indian stereotype in order to rattle off some nonsense about counting numbers. Tommy, a 25-year-old-looking teenage hoodlum, lights a stick of dynamite under her dress, causing the entire gymnasium to lose their shit, and like honestly, this is the appropriate response to seeing a white lady showing her whole ass. Harold decides to use this as an example of how sick the town clearly is, and suggest the only cure for this fever is more cowbell.

youtube

This song is a living testament of how important marketing is. The little girl in the white sailor suit is picking up whatever Harold is throwing down.

Robert Preston is so charismatic, you guys. Even when he's being a slimeball I can't help but sing along. He'd never professionally sang before being cast in this show, and Jesus Christ, they found a diamond.

The town, including the mayor and the school board, buy this schtick hook, line and sinker. Only Marian has enough sense to insinuate a background check would be wise, causing the Mayor to call for Harold's credentials. Instead, Harold ignores him and deradicalizes the violent incel Tommy by hooking him up with some pussy.

And thus begins Harold's delicate balance between getting close to the town to earn more sales, but not close enough where people start asking questions. He distracts the school board by magically turning them into a barbershop quartet and a bunch of chickens into a Tuesday Night Dance Group. But the hardest nut to crack remains to be Marian, who isn't impressed with his fake credentials or his manners. After intel recovery reveals she might have been fucking an old dude to inherit a library, Harold rejoices at the thought of seducing a slut with daddy issues instead of a Sunday school teacher.

youtube

Deciding to harass this poor woman at her job, Harold insinuates to Marian he's heard she may have loose morals. He reiterates he's here for a good time, not a long one, so maybe they should go in the back and get properly acquainted by... discussing his revolutionary "Think System", where one can learn how to play a song on an instrument merely by thinking it enough. When his proposition doesn't work, Harold targets Marian's widow mother in order to get on her good side. See, Marian's elementary school-aged brother Winthrop (played by an teeny-tiny Ron Howard) is embarrassed by his lisp and seldom speaks. Harold tells Mrs. Paroo (Pert Kelton) a cornet (and a fancy uniform, cause that's where the real money's at) will cure her son's speech impediment, and intrigued by the prospect, she agrees to purchase the instrument.

Several days later, the Wells Fargo wagon shows up packed full with a whole band's worth of horns. After seeing Winthrop's excitement at the prospect of learning how to play music, Marian decides to stop giving Harold so much shit and hide the fact she knows he didn't graduate from the Gary, Indiana conservatory because the city didn't exist when he said he graduated (rookie mistake, honestly, it's almost like he wants to get caught).

youtube

With phase one complete, Harold now has to pretend to teach a bunch of kids how to play instruments while waiting for the delivery of phase two. Turns out, "The Think Method" involves having the kids sing the same song over and over again until Harold pawns off band practice on his lackey Tommy.

Things seem to be going smoothly until The Mayor's ire is directed toward Harold again after discovering Harold set Tommy up with his daughter. The Mayor reiterates he needs to see the spellbinders credentials, and Harold, again, blows him off to hit on Marian, who suddenly believes "The Think Method" doesn't sound like complete bullshit. She makes heart eyes at Harold every chance she can get because of her brother's enthusiasm, and I'm going to choose not to read into her falling for a guy who is parenting her brother.

youtube

Look, I'm not going to shit all over a 7-year-old Ron Howard cause he's goddamn adorable, but I fucking hate this song. As a child I was involved in musical theater (I know, you would have never guessed) and while little girls were cursed to always audition with "Castle on a Cloud", little boys typically did a rendition of "Gary, Indiana", SCREAMING THE LYRICS AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS because that's how Ronny Howard did it, and he's endearing.

While the town is preparing for their big Ice Cream Social, an anvil salesman is roaming the streets with the expressed purpose of outing Harold's scheme because HE DON'T KNOW ONE NOTE FROM ANOTHER. He unfortunately runs into Marian, who is pretty enough that The Salesman says he could concentrate *a whole five minutes* on her before he had to make his train. She wastes his time by shoving her boobs in his face in order to thwart his plan because Harold bought her drink once so the bar is in fucking hell. The Salesman tells Marian she's a goddamn moron for protecting a man with a woman in every county before running off into the night.

Harold coincidentally shows up seconds later at Marian's door, which leads to this enlightened conversation:

"Are you a man whore? 'Cause I heard you were a man whore." "Really? 'Cause I heard you were a slutty librarian." "Ah, right, well, I'm not slutty, so we both must be chaste." "Yep, people are obviously jealous of us so they make shit up. So... Wanna go bang by the footbridge?" "I couldn't possibly do that." "You can and you will, but after the dance." "OK, sounds legit."

The Ice Cream Social has real Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and Oklahoma energy. First, the dance committee comprised of the Mayor's wife and, most importantly, the queen Mary Wickes, shows off their excellent skills until River City's own well-dressed Peter Griffin does a catchy little ditty on slut shaming.

youtube

Legitimately, I didn't realize this song was a real thing when I saw it on Family Guy years and years ago and honestly, I should have known better. It's upbeat and infectious, even though it's probably the dumbest made up thing I've ever heard.

After everyone sings about how women shouldn't kiss on the first date, Harold and Marian find themselves in the park with a bunch of other couples who are similarly getting freaky dancing. Marian declares her love for Harold by belting a song inches away from his face, which is almost as awkward as whistling into it.

youtube

Shirley Jones was pregnant for the majority of the filming of this movie, but was told not to tell anyone other than the costume department. This secret was revealed to Robert Preston when she went in for a kiss and he felt her baby kick through her dress.

This moving song does pretty much nothing in diverting Harold from his plan to bolt now that the uniforms have arrived and he collected all his money, but then Marian tells Harold she's always known he's been conning them by revealing the piece of paper she ripped out of the educational ledger that was shoved in her dress. When the town mob, lead by The Mayor and the anvil salesman, come to tar and feather Harold, he stays to face the consequences instead of running away because Marian's blind and irrational love has changed him. Aw.

Harold is dragged to the town hall to presumably be beaten to death, when Marian gives an impassioned speech suggesting even though Harold doesn't know how to play an instrument, he is an excellent community organizer that has saved the town from boredom. The boy's band then miraculously stumbles through a rendition of Beethoven's "Minuet in G" because Tommy, the real MVP of this movie, taught them how to do it, and Harold is forgiven for flimflamming everyone for an entire summer. The town then collectively hallucinates the best marching band that's ever played and everyone lives happily every after. The end.

youtube

I'm always so amused to discover what the plot is of some of this country's most famous musicals. Like, Oklahoma was about the dangers of pornography, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers was about sex trafficking, and The Music Man is about a conman who has a deal with Marshall Music Co. and Stanbury uniforms. Surprisingly, I found myself rooting for Harold Hill despite the fact he's a fast-talking shitbag. Even though Marian and Harold's relationship felt very one-sided (nobody makes an 'I'm completely and utterly in love face' better than Shirley Jones), I wanted him to live up to her expectations of him. When the children started playing their instruments for the first time and that clunky sound caused their parents to shout with glee I had major middle school band flashbacks. It was glorious.

The best part of this movie is that if everyone in this town weren't so thirsty or easily distractible, Harold's ruse would have been discovered in like 10 minutes, but whatever. The Music Man is a jaunty two-and-a-half hour ride that I could nitpick to death if I didn't enjoy it so much. Definitely a must-watch.

Thanks for reading! If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

#100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes #unwarranted opinion

3 notes · View notes

coll2mitts · 1 year

Text

youtube

Ah! This is a great watch! I love how the director is so respectful and appreciative of the work everyone put into the scene. The reactions of the dancers and actors, the meaning behind the choreography, the care put into the costumes... How freaking cool to listen to.

youtube

Several months ago, Patrick Willems created the above love letter to RRR, and while I was only *slightly* disappointed the title didn't stand for Rips/Reps/Revelations, I trust Patrick's opinion in action movies because he's also an honorary member of the Toretto family. When it made its way to Netflix I immediately watched the film and hooooly shit, I was not disappointed.

Watching RRR brings me so much fucking joy. It has action scenes that are so bananas they can only be topped in ridiculousness by a Pontiac Fiero being launched into space (and even then, it's fucking close). It's beautiful, engaging, emotional, and has some fire fucking bops.

youtube

I've been complaining that modern musical movies do a shit job at filming the actual musical numbers. It's all huge sets and jump cuts and you don't get to appreciate the actors for the talent they're exhibiting. BUT NOT HERE. "Naatu Naatu" is proof that fire choreography and charismatic performers can easily sell a song. I've watched this dozens upon dozens of times. It's the most glorious showboating, and y'all know how hyped I get when dance numbers kick up dirt.

Take this as your sign to watch RRR if you haven't already cause oh my god, you'll be screaming for weeks/months afterward about how good it is.

#Youtube

2 notes · View notes

coll2mitts · 1 year

Text

youtube

Take this as your sign to watch RRR if you haven't already cause oh my god, you'll be screaming for weeks/months afterward about how good it is.

2 notes · View notes

coll2mitts · 1 year

Text

#8 Swing Time (1936)

The several minutes of forced laughter isn't the only thing cringey about this film

Y’know, my friend has something called the Thumper Rule: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all. And I try to abide by it, but most of the time I’m like Olympia Dukakis in Steel Magnolias.

I tried, I tried really hard to understand why Swing Time is so high on the list. If we’re only considering the Fred and Ginger dance numbers, sure, you could make a case, because they’re amazing and at the top at their game. The choreography in this movie is fire, and the repeating motif of them walking side by side together picks up emotional weight as the story progresses. But literally everything else about this movie is annoying to me. The “Fred and Ginger Formula” is now starting to lose its luster.

Fred Astaire’s character, Lucky, is a gambler/dancer, and he’s supposed to be getting married to an affluent women named Margaret immediately after he tap dances off the stage. His friends, who for sure have grandkids who think that Saturdays Are For The Boys, have decided to sabotage this endeavor by telling Lucky his pants are so last season. Lucky kills time waiting on them to be tailored by rolling some dice, and several hours later, when he figures out he’s been tricked, he shows up to his own wedding several hours late after all the guests have left. While his fiancé and her father are initially furious with Lucky, he tells them he was out earning a dumb amount of money, and offers to buy Margaret for $25k. They agree to this arrangement because they are terrible people.

Lucky flees to New York with his unscrupulous friend Pop to gamble his way into a wife. He encounters Penny at the cigarette machine when he trades her his lucky quarter for a few dimes and a nickel. Thirty seconds later, when he gets the money to trade it back, she refuses because she thinks he’s attempting to pick her up. While she’s trying to rebuff Lucky’s advances, Pop steals the quarter from her purse, and she alerts a policeman because she thinks Lucky took it. The policeman, being super on-brand, calls her a crazy broad and threatens to arrest her for disturbing the peace because Lucky is wearing a nice suit. She leaves, Pop reveals to Lucky he actually did steal the quarter from Penny, and Lucky follows her into her place to business to return the money... again.

If this sounds super convoluted, it is. This is, by far, the dumbest meet-cute I’ve ever encountered, and I’ve lived through and been forced to watch nearly all the terrible early 2000s romantic comedies.

To Lucky’s absolute luck, Penny works at a dance studio, so Lucky pulls a Cady Heron and pretends he doesn’t know how to dance in order procure some lessons. Penny is pleased as punch to see him, and doesn’t slug him on site because she wants to keep her job. Once Lucky finally admits that he’s a premium dancer, Penny’s boss books the two of them a gig at the Silver Sandal, as long as Lucky can show up in a tuxedo.

Lucky, of course, only has a stolen quarter to his name, so Pop runs out to try and scam a drunk guy into betting his dapper clothes. Penny walks in on her new friends playing strip poker with a guy 3 sheets to the wind and storms off, furious she’s going to miss her new gig because the guy who accosted her in the street turned out to not be on the up and up.

A week later is enough time for Lucky to bankroll a new wardrobe, a room at the inn, and a new audition at the Silver Sandal. Penny’s refusal to forgive Lucky for blowing their first chance at stardom results in Lucky picketing outside her door.

When that doesn’t work to turn her favor, he decides to serenade her with the most famous song of this movie, “The Way You Look Tonight”. I have heard Frank’s showy, bouncy version of this song about a million times, but I do enjoy Fred’s version as it sounds more tender and sincere.

youtube

This is enough to make Penny swoon, and they head to The Silver Sandal together. Lucky discovers that the band leader, Ricky, is not only handsome, but has proposed to Penny several times. Lucky has the nerve to act jealous even though, if you remember, he’s already engaged to Margaret back home. Ricardo also views Lucky as a threat and refuses to play a song for Penny and Lucky’s audition so they cannot dance together. Lucky decides to use his gambling super powers to win the band’s contract from a club owner and force Ricky’s orchestra to play. Penny is somehow charmed by this because his gambling addiction has now directly benefitted her.

They ace the audition and Penny and Lucky book the gig. Lucky negotiates down the terms of his payment so he doesn’t make over $25k and have to return to his hometown to purchase/marry his fiancé. Conversely, he is trying his best not to be left alone with Penny as he’s now fallen in love with her. Penny, unfortunately, feels the same way about him, and decides to make a bunch of unreciprocated moves that just give her blue balls. When Lucky finally decides that cheating on his fiancé sounds like a good idea, Pop intervenes and tells Penny that Lucky’s engaged and she rightfully turns cold toward him. This only lasts about 3 minutes, and soon she’s making awkward advances before making out with him in their dressing room.

Right as my exasperation in this back and forth romance hit its peak, Fred distracted me by walking over to his dressing table and smearing black paint on his face. Oh. Oh no.

dailymotion

Oh nooooooooooo. I thought after The Jazz Singer I was in the clear for shit like this on the list, but nope, turns out one of the most famous dancers in the world decided that blackface was a great idea.

This is um... This is straight up offensive. No amount of shuffling around is going to make me defend a number that starts with comparing the skin color of black people to the bottom of shoes. I found a great article by Katrina Richardson that elaborates why this number, even in 1936, was in very, very poor taste.

youtube

Bill “Bojangles” Robinson is the man Fred is “paying tribute to” in this number. My grandmother loved Shirley Temple and bought me The Little Colonel when I was a kid, which I watched once and unceremoniously stored in our VHS cabinet because I had no interest in a precocious seven-year-old that pretends not to know how to read, or a movie about The South TM. But I remember this scene because I was simultaneously fascinated by his dancing and afraid he was going to fall down the stairs. Honestly, spending several hours on youtube watching Mr. Robinson dance was the only redeeming part of being forced to watch Swing Time.

Anyway... Directly after the number, Lucky gambles away the orchestra because Pop revealed that Lucky cheated it off of the club owner the first time. Immediately after that, Margret and Penny finally meet each other, and Penny is so devastated that Lucky is still going to marry her that she runs off and accepts Ricky’s latest proposal. Lucky is similarly disappointed they’re heading in different directions and tells Penny that he’s going to punish himself for marrying someone he doesn’t love by never dancing again.

Fred and Ginger’s dance numbers always tell a story, and this movie features several perfect examples of how their movements illustrate their current feelings toward each other. In the beginning, they start their journey by taking a few steps together, and we similarly revel in the joy on Penny’s face realizing Lucky can meet her move for move. When they are auditioning for the club, they come out confident and fierce, knocking everyone’s socks off because they realize how special their relationship is and want to flaunt it in front of everyone (especially Ricky). In “Never Gonna Dance”, their steps are nostalgic, echoing the previous numbers before, and eventually send them in two separate directions and up two separate staircases. They’re reunited quickly and furiously at the top, giving into their passion for one another. But by the end of this number, Penny is sprinting away from Lucky, as its the only way they can part. It’s so beautiful it makes me forgive the plot I had to trudge through to get here. Also, Astaire insisted on over 40 takes of this number and Ginger’s feet were bleeding through her shoes by the end of it, which only highlights Fred’s perfectionism and Ginger’s perseverance.

Alas, Lucky and Penny didn’t need to break up in the first place, because Margret has decided to break off their engagement because she wants to marry someone else. Lucky then decides to tell Margret that he’s in love with Penny, and she starts laughing because it’s all very funny and conveniently timed. Lucky rushes over to break up Penny and Ricky’s wedding and Lucky and Penny live happily ever after even though she doesn't like that he gambles and he seems incapable of not doing so. The end.

Swing Time is a whole lot of fluff and no substance, which is completely fine, it just annoys me when the plot hinges on a series of secrets or misunderstandings. The director of this movie, George Stevens, had filmed several movies with Fred and Ginger, together and separately, until he enlisted in the US Army during World War II in order to document it. He was present during D-Day, and also filmed the conditions of the concentration camps. The footage he captured was used as evidence during the Nuremberg Trials. Needless to say, this guy saw some shit, and it changed the kind of content he produced afterward.

In the 1970s, he was head of the jury at the Berlin International Film Festival, which issued no awards because the jury eventually resigned. A film about the Incident on Hill 192, o.k., was cut-off mid-screening and removed from the festival because a majority of the jury believed "All film festivals should contribute to better understanding between nations". Stevens himself called the movie “anti-American”, and was the driving force behind its disqualification. The jury actually had no right to turn the film off, or question its qualification in the first place, which caused several directors of competing films to withdraw their movies from the competition in protest. Many looked upon the film’s exclusion as censorship, and called for a dissolution of the entire institution of Berlinale. This didn’t happen - they restructured and have been conducting the event ever since. Although a few years ago they did have to rename one of their awards when it was revealed its namesake Alfred Bauer’s involvement in creating Nazi propaganda “was more significant than had previously been known”... Yikes.

But I found it both curious and unsurprising that Stevens had such a visceral reaction to o.k., as United States patriotism was the key motivating factor during the second world war. The sacrifices made by the soldiers and their families was under the premise it was for The Greater Good. The heroes in the US of A would be getting revenge on those no-good Fascists and Imperialists because here in America, we believe in Freedom TM.

Not to suggest the US shouldn’t have been involved in the war, but our own (sometimes racist) propaganda shaped the views of the entire generation. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that a lot of WW2 veterans struggled with those who protested the war in Vietnam, and had a hard time beings faced with the fact that United States soldiers could become power-hungry monsters that commit atrocious war crimes.

But I majorly digress... Swing Time is, conversely to the previous diatribe, Pre-WW2 glamourous escapism, where the worst a woman could encounter was a philandering gambler who didn’t cuff his pants.

Thanks for reading! If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

#100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes #unwarranted opinion

1 note · View note