We've officially reached the 'too demotivated and drained to bother to go to class' part of the semester. Awesome

Since I posted one of my Dimension 20 hot takes, and didn't literally explode. I think I'll post the other one that really matters to me.

The discourse around aroace Riz is really hard for me. And I find it really hard to be empathic toward people who think about it differently than I do. And I think it's important to put that lack of empathy in context. Fandom (and by this I mean the broader fandom culture, not D20 fandom specifically) has generally been an extremely hostile space for aromantic people. Shipping is the central pillar of fandom engagement and dialogue. And a romantic lens is typically the very first lens applied to the source material when it is brought into fandom spaces. By that I don't just mean it's what people think about first, I mean analysis tends to pass first through the lens of romance, and then only things the romantic lens can't lay claim to are left for other kinds of analysis. Even for aromantic people like me, who very much enjoy romance when it exists in the realm of fiction, it's hard not to feel like there's a message in that. "Characters, and the fiction they exist in, are only valuable when seen through the lens of romance. Regardless of the genre of the source material. That's because romance is unquestionably the most important and defining feature of life. Unless it's sex." This can get pretty extreme if you become a fan of something with an especially strong central ship (like a Supernatural), where it can feel like literally all analysis of any aspect of the work has to tie back to the ship. In my experience, the sub-culture of fandom, for all its trappings of queer acceptance, is far more arophobic and aro-hostile than any other culture or sub-culture I participate in. Not because fans are actively making anti-aro posts or hate aro people, but because romance is elevated as the primary element of human experience. The only one really worth talking about and exploring. The only one worth writing fics about or dedicating massive posts to. It is worth noting that the Dimension 20 fandom (and, based on my experience, actual play in general) seems to be less romance-focused than other fandoms. There's lots of gen fic. There's lots of discussion that doesn't focus on romance. But that doesn't mean the Dimension 20 fandom somehow exists separately from overall fandom culture. The baggage of that larger culture still informs this fandom.

And that's why the way Riz gets talked about feels like such a slap in the face. He is the first example I (and I expect many others) have encountered of a heavily-coded aromantic character popular with fandom. And yet, that hasn't freed him from the fandom scramble to read him through the lens of romance. I'll admit to being a bit of an extremist on this. I know that for many aromantic people having a single qpr that fills many of the needs of romance is really an important part of their experience. Many of my aromantic/aspec friends feel this way. But I don't even like qpr Fabriz. Because even though that is an authentic and important part of aromanticism to represent. With a character like Riz, whose fears are explicitly based around the lack of access he has to coupledom, qpr Riz still feels like an attempt by romance-oriented fandom to jam the first aromantic character the sub-culture gets its hands on into something that looks enough like traditional coupledom that no one has to change their romance-oriented outlook. The myth of the OTP can live on if you just change some of the verbiage. I know there are arospec people that would also feel excluded if fandom fell in line with my perspective and kept Riz as far away as possible from anything resembling romance. I don't actually know what the right solution to these problems is. We got thrown one bone and there's a bit of a desire to fight over it (Wikipedia's list of aromantic characters has 18 characters, and while that's not all of them, it's a decent percentage). But I did want to put this out in the world. Because I feel like there's a lot of context and baggage missing from this discourse. And all I really want is to have fandom still be able to treat an aromantic character as valuable even when they can't neatly pair him off

Hellooo, it's me, I'm alive! Sorry for disappearing again this weekend, I hope everyone had a great one! 💛 Mine was really really wonderful, so, time to overshare because I'm feeling all mushy and tired but happy. These past few days made me realize once again how lucky I am to have so many incredible people in my life 💕 I love them SO much and I'm so grateful they love me too, which sounds cheesy but it's true 😅

I don't think anyone particularly needs these, but I still want to share some of the stuff my friends and family have said and done this weekend just because they're pretty amazing and I kind of wanted to write it down to remember it (I'll put most of it under the cut though, because it got longer than I anticipated. whoops, who's surprised, not me either)

So my friend's little boy, who is three, got a little confused about pronouns while he was chatting away, and accidentally called me a 'he'. His mom gently corrected him like, "No honey, auntie Minnie is a she." And when he asked why, she said "Because Minnie feels like a she. What do you feel like?" And he gave it some thought and said "I think I feel like a he", so she said, "Well, there you go, we'll call you a he then! But if you feel like a she later on, or auntie Minnie feels like a he, then that's also okay. Does that make sense?" And he looked thoughtful for a second, said "Yep", and carried on playing.

Later that day my other friend picked up her almost one year old, looked at his little face and said "I'm pretty sure he's either going to be a construction worker or a drag queen. Maybe both." And then kissed his nose and told him she'd love him regardless of what he'd become.

I was talking to the husband of one of my friends (who is my friend too, but I knew her first), and out of the blue he asked me, "What kind of music do you like to listen to? I know you like Arctic Monkeys, but what else do you like?" So I told him I listen to a lot of 40s and 50s music, among other things, and then the conversation carried on. And then later that night, Billie Holiday suddenly came on, followed by Chet Baker, and it turned out he'd actually made a whole playlist of 40s music because he realised he'd been playing a lot of recent popular music during the getaway so far, and he wanted me to hear something I liked too

At some point I was talking to the husband of my other friend, and when he asked me whether I'd been seeing anyone lately, I kind of shrugged and told him that it isn't really a priority for me right now, that I'm not excluding the possiblity of dating or starting a family, but I'm not actively looking for it either. He just clinked his beer bottle with mine and said, "Cool, that makes a lot of sense. We don't all have to follow the same path in life to be happy, right?" And I was already grateful that he got it, but then he was quiet for a minute and said, "Shit, I'm sorry, I bet you're fed up with people asking you about dating and kids. It's literally no one's business but yours and I'm sure that if you ever want to talk about it, you'll let us know. I won't ask again."

At some point, my friend suddenly dropped down onto the couch next to me, put her arm around me and said "My god, I feel like we've only talked about kids all weekend, sorry about that." So I assured her I didn't mind at all (I adore those kids, I really do), and she was like, "Still, tell me about what you're reading right now, and while you're at it, please show me the cutest picture of Chris you saw this week," and then she spent a while cooing over my boys with me in return.

I was sitting next to my other friends' three year old little girl in the car on put way back from visiting a nearby castle, and she was super impressed and a little overwhelmed in that way kids have sometimes. She kept wondering aloud whether 'the princess' had been at home, and whether, if she'd ever meet her, the princess would want to be her friend. So I told her that of course the princess would want to be her friend, probably even best friends, and then she laughed and said "No silly, you're my best friend" and hugged me, and I kind of melted into a puddle

During brunch today, I was telling a story about how when I was jogging recently, I thought I was being followed by a guy on a scooter, and that I'd stopped to send my mom my location because I was genuinely a little scared. As it turned out, the guy just wanted directions, so I laughed it off and told the story as a joke, but then my brother frowned and said, "No, but it's not okay that you can't even go on a run without feeling scared just because you're a woman", and then told me he read an article recently about the precautions many women necessarily have to take whenever they go out or go on a date, like location sharing, or faking phonecalls, or bringing pepper spray, because we often fear for our safety in a way that men rarely have to. And then he said he'd never realised that before, apologised to me, his girlfriend and my mom on behalf of men in general, and said he wished we'd never have to deal with any of that

I was talking to my mom while we were on a walk, and she told me about an old friend she'd run into recently. So I asked her how they knew each other, and she proceeded to tell me a story about how in the 80s, they used to do sit-ins together to demonstrate for immigrants' and unemployed people's rights. When I asked her if she'd never been worried about getting arrested or anything like that, she just shrugged and said "Not really, because I knew that we were doing it for the right reasons and that was what mattered most."

Anyway, I know they're all little things and they should all be normal things, but I'm aware that they aren't always, or everywhere, or for everyone. And they just made me stop and marvel at how wonderful these people all are, big and small, how comfortable and at ease I feel around all of them, and how amazing it is that they not only exist and work to make the world a better place, but they also care about me in return. Like, not to sound like a hippie, but whoa, I'm feeling a lot of love and gratitude right now ❤️

I know it is considered ableist to tell people that if they are going to go out into public they need to shower/wear deodorant/etc but Im actually going to play my autism card and say that it is ableist and inconsiderate of those of us who are hyper-sensory to be in public especially enclosed spaces like transportation or places you will have to stand in line next to other people if you do not smell good.

Like if you just went to the gym, do not get out of your car to use an enclosed ATM or stop at the store for groceries before you shower.

Like I know. I know it is hard to shower. I know it is hard to stay fresh while you're depressed or mentally ill. You should not be excluded from public spaces for struggling with hygiene but you also must consider that it would be inconsiderate of the people you are sharing a space with to smell bad. And this doesnt go just for body odor you also shouldnt eat strongly scented foods in public or smoke/vape in public like once your existence becomes inconsiderate of others you need to re-assess.

But like I have a neurological disability that literally interprets your bad smell as being in physical pain. Imagine a gun going off next to your ear, or being blasted with a bright light (both of which are legally classified as torture to/by even NT people) but the sensation is in your nose. You don't have the right to cause me physical pain while I share a space with you, and if you smell bad in public that is what you are doing.

If you have not showered in a few days and cant bring yourself to shower, wash your ass/armpits at the sink with a wash cloth or spray yourself with some Febreze at the very least. Like I get it I really do I have periods where I also struggle to shower but it is summer, if you are going to be in public you need to have showered within the past 12 hours (preferably within the past 3-6, and applied deodorant). If you work out or preform a strenuous activity that makes you sweat you need to shower, and change out of your sweaty clothes and into fresh ones, and not bring those clothes into public again until you have washed them.

But like yes homeless people/people who dont have access to a shower exist (i was one) and sometimes there is no getting around going in public and i do NOT think the solution is to expel people who smell bad from public spaces because there are some situations where people really don't have access to showers (I think the solution is to provide free mental healthcare and house the homeless so that people can live their best most dignified least obstructive lives possible)

I guess some practical solutions to this would be like I said housing the homeless or at least making public free shower stations commonplace so they can stay clean. Sensory hours which do not permit BO or perfumes at places like supermarkets and banks. Compassionate loved ones supporting your mentally ill friend to take a shower and treating it like the accomplishment that it is (I literally needed to implement a sticker chart to get myself to shower after my last mental breakdown, find what works).

Like don't get it twisted for one second I do not want disenfranchised people to feel unwelcome in public spaces and making them feel unwelcome does no good we need to actually solve the solution on why their presence is obstructive in a shared space. But that doesn't change the fact that most of the bad-smelling people i have to share spaces with during the summer are people like gross NT hippies or gym people like I said I understand that sometimes things get bad and you shouldn't be scorned for it but your loved ones should also not be letting you let your self care spiral out of control. Ive had periods of depression where I struggled to shower myself like I said I get it but at least 70% of people who offend me with their smell during the summer months are athletes and hippies.

I also have strong feelings about not defecating in public bathrooms unless it is a dire emergency.

But this guy with a gym outfit on smelled SO BAD in the bank today i almost left and came back when he was gone if i hadn't already waited on line 5 minutes before he came in. Also worth noting that this problem is like 85% male. Like bring a change of clothes and use the free shower there it isnt that hard for gods sake WASH YOUR BALLS.

But once again let me make very clear that Im not saying ostracize people who struggle with or do not have access to hygiene from public spaces and the solution is providing these people with hygiene and dignity but it is rude af and literally causes physical pain for people like me when you have the option and choose not to like smelling bad is one of the most passively inconsiderate things you could do if you have the choice to not smell bad with a small amount of inconvenience.

Not trying to start a grand discourse or anything just mad that this asshole sent me into bitch mode for the night by smelling bad at the bank because my mood since has been rancid.

Tag 3 people who have made your year better and send this to the last 10 blogs in your notifications (anonymously or not) ❣

I can't simply tag 3. So many people made this year wonderful for me, and I want to acknowledge them all!!

In alphabetical order by url:

@a-queen-of-the-clouds - Jori, you are always a joy to have on my dash. I have so much fun reading your tags. Never change!! I love you, and am grateful to know you.

@arnold-layne - My beloved!! We've been friends for a while, but I feel like our communication has really ramped up this year. I'm so glad that we've been talking more! You're a really cool person, and I love our interactions. Ilysm.

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands - Alessia!! Sweetie, you are one of the kindest people I've ever met. I love your fashion, your passion for your interests, and how much you care about your friends. I am so so grateful for our continuing friendship. ILY!!

@born-to-lose - Mel, my beloved, my wife!! You know I'm obsessed with you. You are the language queen, a talented writer, and stunningly hot. Iconic all around. I love you and our friendship. Here's to another year! Kisses!!

@day-trippin-dreamer - TINA!!!!!! Our daily conversations have helped me stay sane through this crazy year. Even though timezones are not our friends, I love that we manage to stay updated on each other's days. We will meet up in Belgium to watch movies together one day. My passport should arrive in early February lol. One step closer!! I love you so much, and I adore our friendship. Thank you for everything!!

@deadhousep1ants Bee!! Hiiii! I am so glad to have met you this year! We talk more on Instagram than here nowadays, but I needed to include you on this post!! We have a lot in common, and I just generally think you're really cool. I'm really happy to be your mutual. I'm always wishing you the best! Ily.

@doctorqueensanatomy - Sheamus, I don't think I need to tell you how much I appreciate, because I say it all the time. However, I'm still going to tell you again. I love you!!!! Our friendship is precious to me, and I am so sad I can't hug you. I am still sitting, waiting, and constantly checking my email for when you'll receive any of the things I sent you for Christmas lol. I'm grateful for the opportunity to physically show how much I care, and I look forward to all of our future conversations (in text and call). Btw you're also like a super talented writer, and that needs to be acknowledged.

@duffmckagans - Kelsey, you're like a piece of my soul put into another person. We are so similar, and it's crazy how well we get along. I love our daily catch ups, and that I can text you about literally anything. There is no one else I'd rather sob to about Axl. I can always count on you. You're an insanely talented writer, so smart in general, and always have the correct opinion. You know I love you.

@emodennis - Phoenix, my dude, I am so happy we've become friends this year!! Last year, I wouldn't have imaged myself on Sunnyblr (as I literally didn't know it existed). I am so glad to be there, because otherwise we wouldn't have met. I'm excited to see how our friendship progresses in the coming year!!

@glamourizedcocaine - Alexi, you haven't been active lately. I'm not sure you'll see this, but it feels wrong to exclude you from this post. I love being able to scream nonsense about Gerard with you. You're a good friend, and I miss you on my dash. Ily.

@hobbitinneverland - İrem!! You're such a positive force on my dash and in my notes. I love you so much!! You always brighten my day with your presence. You're so amazing. Sending you the best vibes!!

@i-dont-like-rice - My dear Andi, idk if you'll see this, but I will take any opportunity to say how wonderful you are. I love your chaos. I love that I can talk to you about anything, and you'll understand. I feel like you see parts of me that no one else can, and I hope you know that your friendship is irreplaceable. I love and miss you! I look forward to our meeting in Belgium one day!!

@idontwanttospoiltheparty - Hi Fiona!! Your blog is so fun. It's the best hub for Beatles and Swiftie discussions. I love being able to see takes without absurd drama. I may not always agree with your opinions, but I have a lot of respect for you. You're really smart, talented, and all around fun. I'm grateful for our friendship. Ilysm.

@inquisitiveheretic - Lee!!!!!!! I think I'm incapable of thinking your name without screaming it mentally. You are my favorite mysterious mutual. I am always so excited to talk to you, and I feel so happy when I see you in my notifications. I think you're my biggest example of an opposites attract friend due to our wide divergence of interests, and that's really cool to me. You are someone that I take great comfort in, and I wish I could hug you. I think of you whenever I listen to Metallica, and that happens a lot. Love you.

@losers-yurio - Rylie, you aren't very active here, but I hope you know I still love you with my entire heart despite having less communication this year. I'm on better terms with my parents in regards to calling people, and I'm hoping to have more free time soon. We really really need to reconnect. I love and miss you so much. You will always be my first real Internet friend, and one of my favorite people ever.

@modernloverss - Syd!! First of all, I hope you know you can ramble to me about Ghost anytime, and I'll be very excited about it. It's been fun watching you fall down the fandom rabbit hole. All of our interactions have been so overwhelmingly positive. Your presence always warms my heart, and that is just about the highest praise I can bestow. Ilysm.

@nocturnal-light - Lynne, I am forever in awe of you. You're a creative artist, a stunning ice skater, and an impressive bassist. You can do it all omg. I'm proud of you for all you've accomplished, and I'm rooting for you from the virtual sidelines. Also, in case no one has told you lately, you're doing great with school. You will make it through!! I love being mutuals and friends. Ily!!

@no-fxn-club - Frankie, my dude, the iconic southern who confuses me constantly, you are one of my best friends. I will never be able to tell you I love you enough times. I am SO SAD I can't hug you!!!! I know you give amazing hugs. You have a big heart, and I'm grateful to be your friend to receive some of that love. You have an A+ music taste, a killer sense of fashion, and I always have so much fun talking to you about the most random stuff. I LOVE YOU!!

@nuttmeg13 - Megan, you were my first mutual! Though not directly, you did help me figure out how this place works lol. I'm grateful for you, because I really love Tumblr now that I've found community. You have The Best opinions. I have absorbed so much random Doctor Who information over the years, and I love seeing your fandoms that I know nothing about! You're one of my favorite Swifites!! Ilysm!

@ob-la-di-ob-la-di - Ameera, you are always a source of positivity. You are a talented artist, and I hold it so near and dear to my heart that you drew me!! I think about that all the time, because it was so sweet!! Every interaction we have brings me so much joy. You're gorgeous inside and out. I love you!

@only-a-heartbeat-away - Harlow!! I appreciate you so much. I can always count on you for participation in ask and tag games. It's been lovely getting to know you through games. You have an excellent music taste, and you're such a fun person. Ily! Thanks for being my friend!

@ramblinguitar - Hi Alexa!! First and foremost, thank you for all of the music recommendations this year. I think I've added every song to my main playlist. You have great taste, and a good understanding of what I enjoy. That's really cool. I'm thankful to have such an awesome, grunge mutual and friend. You're talented, and I wish I wasn't broke so I could actually buy bracelets from you. I love your work!! Ily, my dear friend!!

@smokeandmirrorz - Jeordie!! You're so damn cool. First of all, I'm so excited to receive your card this year. Your art is stunning!! I love your style, and it means so much that you were willing to make something for me again. You're so nice!! You have impeccable style, great taste in pop culture, and I love our conversations. One of these days I really hope I'm free when you do a movie stream or just a voice chat. Ily and our friendship!

@therockywhorerpictureshow - Ella, you are an incredible baker! I love seeing posts of what you have created. Your posts always make me hungry lol. A+! Also, your dogs are so cute. Such a pleasure to see!! I love seeing you in my notifications and on my dash. I'm so glad we're mutuals. Ily!

@tomkeifer - Ren, you're one of my favorite people and I hope you never forget that. You're easily one of the coolest people I know. You're incredibly smart, and I know you are going to accomplish great things in life. I am so excited to see that happen. You're a talented musician, have amazing hair/makeup skills/fashion, and are overall a good person. I'm forever impressed with you. Please drink some water. I love you!!

@th0mas-jerome-newton - Zoran, my Polish mutual, my whole heart. Ilysm!! You are such a fun presence on my dash. We don't talk very much, but you bring me such comfort. I'm grateful for you!!

@xx-key-xx - What can I say? You're an icon. I love your commitment to the 2000s. You are my favorite 2000s girlie, and I love your posts so much. Not to sound like I'm signing a yearbook, but stay cool ILY!!

Gathering Friends

I collect Planeswalker cards. Ever since I opened Sarkhan Vol in a Shards of Alara draft, I've been in love with the card type. It's like calling in a favor from a friend, except instead of getting a ride to the airport, you get dragons.

Look at that card! It may not seem special now, but imagine seeing something like this for the first time. The curved art border, the transparent rules box, the character literally popping out of the frame. It was unlike anything ever seen in the game before, at least outside of joke sets. The introduction of Planeswalkers in Lorwyn was probably the biggest impact on Magic: The Gathering in the franchise's history.

The rules for my collection started off simple: 1) Every printing of every Planeswalker card 2) If there's a premium and a non-premium version of the card, only the non-premium version counts

Then they got a little more complicated as new ways of getting Planeswalker cards came about: 3) Prerelease promos that are identical in every way to their main set counterparts don't count (this would go on to exclude promo pack cards with the foil symbol stamped on the image, as well as reprints with the little symbol on the bottom left of the card) 4) Cards given out as prizes don't count 4b) Heroes of the Realm cards DEFINITELY don't count 5) Lottery cards don't count (1/30 Collector Booster, serialized, other assorted nonsense)

Then came the big one: 6) Special foil treatments do count, so long as they have different collector numbers

That last rule was tough to decide on, because it walked back the lottery stipulation for the foil etched cards in Kamigawa Neon Dynasty. However, the textured foil cards in Double Masters 2022 were different enough from their main set counterparts that it felt right. It's also a very expensive category. As it stands, I can't afford to collect all of those, but we'll see what the future brings.

I'm currently pretty far behind with the collection, missing around 91 out of the 687 currently available Planeswalker cards (excluding 18 cards that land outside of the rules, of which I do own 7). It's mostly a bunch of inexpensive cards, less than ten dollars each, so it's doable. I'm thinking of buying everything worth less than five bucks in one go, and then completing the rest set by set. The last (and only) time I had a complete collection was during Amonkhet, so I'm in no rush.

It's definitely a first world problem, but damn if they don't print FAR too many cards these days. I love collecting these things, but because I don't let it get in the way of my real life, the backlog builds up. It's especially annoying because there are three or more different versions of each Planeswalker card in each set nowadays. I rarely feel the thrill of opening one in a pack anymore, because it's only one of a dozen or more mythic rare cards I need from the set. Phyrexia: All Will Be One is certainly an outlier, but I added thirty-five rows to my spreadsheet in anticipation of the set's release.

One interesting thing about the way the game is now, rotating out of Standard doesn't affect the price of cards very much after a few months. Prices stabilize much more quickly than they used to, and they don't drop as drastically anymore. I no longer feel like I should wait until rotation to clear the backlog a bit.

As a final note, I recently discovered the existence of this card:

It's a prize for Japanese store tournaments. It doesn't count toward the collection (though I do have the other three alternate art promos in this series), but I want it very badly. I've been trying to figure out how to scrounge up a couple hundred bucks to get this card, and feeling ridiculous because there's no excuse for spending that much money on a Magic card, especially one I'll never play.

I enjoy collecting these things, even during times when I'm not actively playing the game with friends. It maintains my connection to the hobby, and gives me a reason to keep up with the story and the game mechanics. On the flip side, sometimes I feel trapped by what can seem like a monumental endeavor. I often wish I could divert the attention I spend on this elsewhere.

In the end, though, Planeswalkers are the reason I still play one of my favorite games in the world. If I hadn't started this collection, I would certainly have moved on from Magic years ago. For something that brings me so much joy, I'm glad I've been able to stick with it for all this time.

Hi all!

I just wanted to give you an update about sims and my page. And I have come to a conclusion of what I wanna do. So here we go.

I loved the sims. It still has a big and fond place in my heart but... it kinda is unplayable with out mods. At least in the way I wanna play. Updating mods and glitches made it a chore to play. Then comes the pressure of making nice screenshots and posing your sims to tell the story you want. It became a job to play and not a hobby anymore.

And with that all the community isn't what it was. I have found friends and awesome people on here. And usually can block out the negativity. But even now that I'm out of the loop for awhile now and not actively looking at sims stuff I hear and see negative stuff about the game, the makers but most of all about simers.

The community has become toxic. And I'm all for inclusiveness of all, be it shape, gender or color. But I'm not about excluding people because they are not "woke" enough. People are being called horrible things because someone is getting offended for someone else... can we please stop? I know people make mistakes about stuff but then educate not put down. And this is not only in the sims community but irl as well. Being afraid to say your opinion because someone might not like it is not okay. And yes someone might not play as inclusive as you but that doesn't mean they are against it. There is a difference. And I think the sims community overall has to learn it. Or maybe just grow up and not be a spoiled kid.

Sorry it became a little rant. And I have way more thoughts about it. Especially now that I have seen an other community.

FFXIV has been so nice, people have been helpfull and actually love the game they are playing. Sure there is this one or two who are not but that has been an exception. There is no pressure or a correct way of playing. Be it casually, raiding or just hanging out. There is no drama about what character you play or don't play. And I literally can't wait to play, every day! I don't feel like I have to do anything but enjoy myself. And yes I have been making pictures and posting it. But I don't feel like I have to. I want to. That's so different.

So yeah I think I won't go back to sims anytime soon. The game has cost me so much money, it has cost me drama, it has cost me peace of mind. And I don't want that anymore. And what I wanna give to the simmers still playing and posting is that this is your game. Play how you want, not in a way that you think is expected of you. And if someone has a problem with it they can tell you respectfully and you can look at it and if they aren't respectful you just need to ignore them.

So from this point on expect only FFXIV posts. If you don't want that on your feed feel free to unfollow. But if you think hey that looks nice and I wanna try as well also feel free to do so! (There is a free trail that you can download to see if it is something for you and I'll be gladly showing you around)

Kusjes en liefde Kisses and love ❤️

-Daisy

1,5,6,8,&19!!!

9. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

This is from a request for Ben Park I had gotten literally a year ago, i am so fucking sorry anon, feel free to post a shit emoji in my inbox cuz i deserve it.

Around midday on all days excluding weekends, a tolling chime will play across the city. High schoolers with neatly pressed uniforms will pour out of buildings in hordes, speaking fervently about the best arcade game to play that day, whether a friend had enough won to eat at that new fried chicken place down the street, or whether it’d be better to snack in a café.

1. Favorite place to write.

When I write, I don't often find myself anywhere other than at my cluttered desk. There's always a wall I like to stare at while I contemplate different ways to describe how a smile can be devilish, without using the word "devilish" for the fucking fifth time in a row.

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.

Holy crap, the list would be huge. No joke, I consumed books like nobody's business when I was younger, then fanfiction when I started feeling unfulfilled with YA romance novels. Let's see, the most recent ones would be:

1. TLOZchik - (Quotev link: HERE ) INACTIVE Those of you familiar with my ongoing, on-haitus piece known as FOREVERMORE may have heard of this one. This writer has seriously written the most intricate LOZ fanfic I've ever read, and I still stand by that. Her characters are amazing, and everyone comes back to contribute to the plot somehow. 100% recommend.

2. Daniel Keyes - (Website link: HERE ) I don't know much about his personal life, but I often find myself pondering the lessons I've learned from his book "Flowers for Algernon." It's a painfully gorgeous book that details the sometimes repulsive, sometimes contradictory, elements of being human. I try to incorporate those things into my writing, which leads to a lot of angst and hurt.

3. smallpersiankitten - (AO3 link: HERE ) INACTIVE For my very beautiful (and very patient) "Stride of Luck" fans, here is the author of the piece who inspired me to create my fun, multi-chapter series. Smallpersiankitten wrote a ONE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-SIX chapter fanfic called "Must Love Animals," which features some Undertale characters. I aspire to be like her!

4. Riful26 - (Tumblr link: HERE ) ACTIVE also see her tumblr here! @i-want-all-the-cookies Riful's writing was a godsend for me when I got into Weak Hero. The fandom was so small and sad that I was almost sure there would be no content to please my stupid picky ass, but her work scratched the itch I had AND inspired me to write my Jimmy Bae fic, "Devil is Always Cold." Her writing is a good blend between romance and drama. I like it, picasso. check it out.

6. Favorite character you ever created.

Probably this one oddball guy in "Stride of Luck" named Adam. I know a lot of the readers don't quite like him right now, but I promise he has a redemption arc later!!

8. Favorite trope to write.

Everyone knows this this!!! It's all over the place, in my tags, in my descriptions, up my ass!! Say it with me people, BAD. BOY. TROPE. From old school cool-guy classics like Dave Strider to new-age Webtoon brawlers like Wolf Keum, I abso-fucking-lutely love the distant and aloof, arms-crossed, "huh, you looking at me?" type of guy. (And it seems like you guys like it too ;) )

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

can I ask why you don't like yuchi anymore? I thought you used to

mhm, i did ship them back when the reboot was starting and i was doing my rereads. yuki’s always been my favorite, so him getting a romance (especially one that seemed more or less “normal” in comparison to the high drama of kyoru) was sweet to me. i hadn’t really started to give machi much thought back then, either, so it just seemed like this very simple story of like, “boy and girl who share similar traumas deeply understand one another, are able to help each other, and they fall in love.” 

i guess where it started to unravel for me was that their romantic relationship doesn’t really do anything for them, on a personal character level or on a relationship level. i was more or less able to brush it aside for yuki because i thought, well, whatever, his story isn’t a romance anyway, so him and machi getting together isn’t that deep. it’s just cute. you could read it as yuki just getting a fairly normal and happy ending to what is, for a while, his abnormal and unhappy story.

but, that itself defeats the purpose of the subversion that is yuki’s character. a major part of why yuki is so special and intriguing as a main character in a shoujo (esp a male character who is marketed as being in a love triangle) is that he by and large does not find happiness through romance. romance is not the purpose of his story. ultimately, he finds happiness in the friendships he makes; we are constantly returning to this point in his narrative with his platonic love towards haru, tohru, and kakeru, and for a short while, machi. ending his story with a romance really blunts this purpose and falls flat in that regard. his friendships are still very important by the end, yes, but the focus put on his romance i find detracting at worst and distracting at best. 

it also falls flat because there isn’t ever really a point where yuki seems romantically interested in her in return? up until we get the grand “you found me” train station scene where they start dating, there isn’t a point where yuki seems to be harboring romantic feelings for her. as the audience, we’re basically just supposed to believe kakeru when he says that yuki’s in love with her (with his whole “oh yeah he and machi are going to get married” thing which is just. weird but it’s kakeru so whatever i guess. tbh i don’t feel like unpacking that rn), but that isn’t believable by itself. like, we know yuki has issues understanding other people’s feelings for him, but he’s usually painfully aware of how he feels about other people. literally we see him have a crisis over the fact that the feelings he has for a girl aren’t the “right” feelings he “should” be having so. yknow. it’s this big feeling of comphet all over again really.  

(and yeah, there’s the scene where machi runs around the school looking for him to give him the paper flower, and he has a moment of realization that she was looking for him specifically, but i don’t personally read this as romantic from his end. while at this point machi does have a crush on him, i really just think this scene is him recognizing that machi is reciprocating his friendship, which prior to this point was not a given. it was immediately preceded by him looking around at all of these different friend groups gathering around the school and finding some sort of peace with the fact that this was something that used to really bother him, but he no longer feels excluded in that sense.)

so. it doesn’t do yuki’s character much good, if it does anything at all, but what i think turned me off to them for good is that i think it’s actively detrimental to machi’s character. by the time yuchi starts to be a possibility, we’re already comfortable in the fact that yuki has undergone a lot of character growth and is, by this point, at a much better place than he was in the beginning. even if his ending isn’t completely satisfying, we at least have the rest of his character arc to look back on. but as their relationship starts, machi is still very behind on him in terms of growth. she’s written to be a parallel to him, as someone who’s traumatized, socially stunted, and in desperate need of friendship to begin to heal, but gets absolutely none of what made yuki’s character arc so satisfying. all of her baggage regarding her family, her issues with kakeru, her deep depression, and her non-existent sense of self are all thrown under the blanket that is yuchi. the good ol “romance heals all wounds” deal. she’s given absolutely no space to actually grow as a character. and you could argue that it’s because her arc isn’t introduced until near the end of the series, so there wasn’t enough room/time to handle these issues, but that’s a pretty bogus argument considering these issues could have been addressed in lieu of the space made to give them a romance.

i think the fact that machi is so behind yuki in terms of emotional development is also directly counter yuki’s entire speech about wanting to be on equal footing with someone in a romantic relationship. like this actually doesn’t make sense to me. the reason he feels able to reach out to machi in the first place is because he understands her as being in a place where he used to be. he finds confidence in the fact that he’ll actually be able to help her and be something of a guiding friend to her -- which is important to his arc because it signifies that he’s finally found some of his own footing -- but we don’t actually get to see her grow very much after this point. he starts her off on a path of healing, but that path is shafted for a romance plot that completely underserves her.

which is not just a bummer to see in terms of their characterizations, but also makes machi easily forgettable. she’s a compelling character on her own, but because there’s no follow-through, she’s kind of a “blink and you’ll miss it” kind of character. she’s not given the chance to stand on her own, which leads her to being irrevocably tied to her relationship with series-mainstay yuki. i mean you go into the machi tag and it’s almost only about yuchi, and very rarely about her by herself.  

i could ofc ship them regardless of all this and make up my own universe for them where they’re both actually served by their romantic relationship, but i honestly just prefer them as friends. i think they’re much better suited to help one another and be there for one another in a strongly platonic sense, and that’s what i wish takaya had done with them. in the case where machi does eventually come into her own and start stepping into her potential, i just don’t personally see her and yuki as being romantically compatible; really, i see her and yuki’s relationship as being similar to yuki’s and tohru’s, and i think it would have been a much, much stronger story for the both of them if their relationship had followed through in this way.

how are you gonna pretend to be inclusive of all sexualities and then post some panphobic ish bruh. i know this is gonna sound like some random ass rant you didn't ask for but like lemme preface this by saying... i'm bi. who cares if people call themselves pan? i'm of the belief that bi and pan are functionally similar and it really just comes down to which you prefer. the "hearts vs parts" argument is bullshit, i agree, but man, how are you just gonna publicly announce you're panphobic like that? anyways. you don't have to answer this, i know i'm literally just an internet stranger. but like... idk man. it just kinda sucks to know you're someone who my pan friends wouldn't be able to just exist as themselves around.

People are free to identify however they want, and I (mostly) don’t care if you ID as pan, and certainly won’t tell you you can’t, but I would like you to reflect on why you use it. Half of the people are in the camp that it means the exact same thing as bisexual, the other half insist that pan is more inclusive. Which is it? If it means the exact same thing and comes down to preference, what informs your preference? Is it just more fun to say or you like the flag colors better? If that’s the case then more power to you, it’s a cool color scheme, and this decision is evident that it really truly just is a preference. If you can’t define why you prefer it, could it possibly be a misunderstanding of bisexuality and bi history?

The expansion of labels beyond LGBT have generally been to serve one of two purposes, to expand a definition or narrow it. For example, trans as a label technically includes nonbinary people, but trans also includes binary trans folks, so a label to specifically reference not being the binary was formed. Nonbinary technically encompasses labels like genderqueer, agender, genderfluid, bigender but each term describes a more specific experience. Your identity is in flux, or you specifically ID with two genders, or no gender. There are of course potential issues with the need to find hyper-specific boxes for identity and the possibility of further fracturing community vs solidarity, but that is a whole other discussion.

When it comes to pansexual, or omnisexual, what is the purpose of these terms if they mean exactly the same thing as bisexual? To further the point, a sexuality emerged to describe an attraction to feminine people, which is specific. Recently the term was called “finsexual” after the previous label for it was called “gynesexual.” Gynesexual and its counterpart androsexual had battles over whether the label meant an attraction to femininity/masculinity or, as it was often used, attracted to people with specific junk in their pants. I have not seen discourse over these labels in years, but it drummed up a bit of attention in the day when gynesexual was used as an excuse for cis lesbians to exclude trans women from their “attracted to women” label.

If pansexual is considered to mean exactly the same as bisexual, why when a post is made about bisexual people do I frequently see, “what about pansexual?” If it means the same would you not already be included by a reference to bisexuality? So if it doesn’t mean the same thing or is slightly different, how is it different? “Hearts not parts” bisexuality already covered that. “Gender isn’t a factor in my attraction” already true for many bisexuals. “Bi means men and women and not nb or trans people” first, trans people are often men or women, second, bisexuality already included people of other genders beyond the binary. “Well I like ALL genders” again, bisexuality already included this.

The desperation for many pan and omnisexual folks to distance themselves from bisexuality is always going to come off to me as suspect. What about bisexuality is so unappealing to you if you really hate the label? Reflect on that. If there really truly is no difference and it comes down to a preference, where does the discourse come from? Why do I constantly see “pan is better” “pan is more inclusive” “all bi people are actually pan”? In what way is it more inclusive than an already inclusive label? Queer as a term has been adopted to be a more inclusive label, because it can encompass bisexual folks AND lesbians and gay men. Gay as a label was adopted as an encompassing term because it was used toward people regardless of if they were women or if the person was attracted to more than just their gender. What does pansexual or omnisexual add?

The positive answer is that it comes down to wanting to feel unique. There are dozens of labels that don’t mean anything or aren’t separate from already existing labels and functions to just add extra flare. In that case there’s certainly debate again about isolating from other labels and the potential for fracturing community, but on its face it is harmless. It’s just people playing with labels, just having fun, making shit up and trying stuff out. Well and fine.

The less positive answer is that it is used out of ignorance about bisexuality. At that point, I begin to wonder what else you have no idea about. This is not unique to pan discourse, there is so much Very Online bullshit that emphasizes an absolute lack of understanding of queer history and/or a disregard for easily accessible education on the topic. “Gay doesn’t include more than men” “Queer is only a slur” “camp is a slur” “You need dysphoria to be trans” etc etc.

So every time someone tells me they are pan I wonder about the thought process behind the decision. What camp are you in with this label? I once used the label myself, out of mistaken assumptions about bisexuality. The same as everyone I know personally who used to ID as pan and now no longer do. I do not think that everyone who uses pan is an active biphobe, but I do think many are basing it on misconceptions. People are gonna continue to use whatever labels tickle their fancy, and I know discourse isn’t going to see the end of any particular label as many will dig in their heels from confrontation, change the definition, or are just vibing with the label not paying any attention to the discourse surrounding it. Kinda envy the last group.

I do not care what you call yourself, you can use whatever terms you think fits, I just want people who use pan to ask

Why do I prefer this label?

Do I consider it to be different than bi? If yes, why?

Do I understand bisexuality?

That’s it.

Now that you watched the 4th season of She-Ra, what is the thing you liked the most? And what is the thing you don't care about at all? ^^

OH THERE WERE LOTS OF THINGS I LIKED.

1. SCORPIA JUST LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. We saw a picture of her two moms which makes me need excessive flashbacks, she finally stood up to Catra, called her out on her bullshit and joined the rebellion - that is LITERALLY the thing I have been waiting for since Scorpia was first introduced to be honest. And then she got to connect with her stone - sure, sure, near destruction of the world because of that  but finally she embraced being a princess and she was accepted by the other princesses? HER AND FROSTA? HER AND PERFUMA? HER AND GLIMMER? I ABSOLUTELY LIVED FOR THAT. Scorpia’s story-arch this season was so satisfying, urgh.

2. Netossa and Spinerella being back and actually helping during missions instead of just showing up briefly in the background! Being adorable wives. Yes. I loved that, it delighted me.

3. Glimmer’s design as queen? The new outfit, the new hair? I hated her plotline, absolutely loathed it, but the design was flawless.

4. The fact that they introduced a non-binary character and made them actually important to the story, like not just a minor or background character and also that they put emphasis on their pronouns. In a kids show. That’s amazing.

5. Perfuma, Frosta and Mermista being around more!! I love the princesses and I honestly just want them all to be a team like all the time. The focus on Mermista’s loss and how she… well… dealt with that.

6. Meeting Mara more. That episode about her and Razz was… really sad. But in a very good way, you know.

7. KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO SAYING EF THIS AND DESERTING TOO!! YAY!

Now the things I didn’t care about at all/didn’t like:

1. Glimmer’s plotline. I get it, she lost her mother and is grieving and she never liked being sidelined, but her behavior was way out of line and her personal suffering isn’t an excuse for the way she treated Adora.

First of all, you may be the queen but Adora is She-Ra and as such, yeah you should kinda keep her in the loop about the status of the prisoners since she’s your biggest asset, but this went beyond that. Yes, you should tell your best friend that her manipulative, abusive foster mother now gets to roam freely throughout the palace. That one… really hurt me and Glimmer’s dismissal like she doesn’t owe Adora anything, like Adora isn’t fit to judge Shadow Weaver, like Shadow Weaver “hasn’t done anything wrong” which was just gross and distressing to hear her say to Adora’s face after Glimmer and Bow had seen from season 1 that Adora had been abused, had suffered in her childhood, they knew, that was shown and addressed in canon before and right up to this season Glimmer had been shown as protective over Adora, particularly when it came to Shadow Weaver, but suddenly she decides to make her basically the royal adviser and… not even… give Adora a head’s up…?

I really didn’t care for that at all, especially since the show really drove home how much Glimmer’s words had hurt Adora - Adora kept coming back to the hurtful things Glimmer had said and showed how much self-doubt Glimmer’s doubt in her had caused…

No, losing your mom and being under a lot of pressure as queen does not excuse that kind of behavior toward your best friend, it really doesn’t, and as a giant Glimmadora shipper, that shit hurt me even more, because what I had always loved about the two was the way they relied on each other and trusted each other.

And while Adora may not have made all the right or perfect decisions herself either, Glimmer… really hit her exactly where it hurt, excluded her from decision making that they used to do together and blamed her for things that… weren’t Adora’s fault? Glimmer is the queen now, she just… can’t go on every highly dangerous mission herself anymore, that’s what it means to be the acting ruler instead of a princess and that’s hardly Adora’s fault and I genuinely wished there would have been like… an adult around to back her up on that. Like, Castaspella returning and setting her head straight. Seriously, someone should have called Castaspella when Glimmer started relying on Shadow Weaver to teach her magic and to advise her, because her magic aunt most definitely would be more qualified for both positions.

I mean, I low-key get it, Shadow Weaver is an excellent manipulator and she managed to take advantage of a guidance-less, impressionable young girl to make her rely on Shadow Weaver and trust her, but honestly just for fuck’s sake you know she’s a master manipulator and, again, other adult should have stepped in there and helped too and the council of princesses should have also been a bit more vocal and active about that, seriously how did no one see all the gigantic red flags about giving Shadow Weaver that much room to roam free, figuratively and literally…?

It was also way too much fo a mirror to the Catra-Adora dynamic. Shadow Weaver with her claws in the other person, turning her against Adora, making her doubt their friendship, making her make irrational, dumb decisions that drive them apart. That... wasn’t fun to watch the first time around - and y’all still haven’t bothered fixing that mess - so it wasn’t really necessary to do the whole thing over again...

2. Micah’s return. I don’t fully not care about it, but… I don’t know, decades of watching cartoons has me really very tired of “character only has father to rely on after loss of mother”, because killing off moms is such a trope and I kinda liked that Angella was around. Then they kill her off… and then they bring Micah back?? That even defeats the purpose of killing Angella off to have Glimmer rule and be burdened by it alone. Like, yeah I get it, it still fulfilled the purpose of giving us this season of Glimmer as acting queen and this mess that this caused. But I genuinely would have preferred if by some magical release, Angella had been returned instead of “lol he wasn’t dead All along” dad now… It’s kind of an overused trope, or rather, this is actualy three overused tropes on top of each other in a trenchcoat and honestly, overall this show’s writing is much, much better than that? So I don’t quite care for this.

3. Catra. Just… I’m done. Season 1 had me wildly invested in her getting a redemption arc, because poor abused, confused child who still seeks validation from her abuser holy shit get her out of there. Season 2 still had me hopeful for it. Season 3 had lose interest in it, because not only had she moved on from her abuser, she basically took over the organization and has become the… primary villain while Hordak was off hanging out with Entrapta. And then they tag another season of her essentially just… treating the only friends she has left like absolute shit, abusing them - mentally and physically.

fter four whole seasons, she now finally hit rock-bottom which implies that a redemption arc may finally kick in, this has been stretched out too long for me to still be invested in it. It comes the point where writers have pushed my personal good will too much and drawn a thing out for too long for me to still be invested in it. And we’re past that point now.

That doesn’t mean I want bad things to happen to her or that I don’t want her to have a redemption arc at all anymore - better late than never, I suppose - it just means… that I stopped caring.

i'm sorry, i'm sure this is just beat to death with you so plz ignore this if you don't want to explain - but what exactly happened with you and sierra, kelly, etc?

specifically with me and them? it all happened in wilmington. kelly was bitching about me behind my back, but was telling me that everyone else was bitching about me behind my back, so i decided to leave. when i left, char showed me the full conversations of this bitching and it included her and kelly and kenny. i confronted char. i then confronted kelly, who tried to completely turn it around on me for “believing false screenshots” and shit…. when literally i hadn’t done anything, i was just writing along and they all didn’t like the fact that i wrote too much and with so many ppl and that my character was this or that blah blah blah. so yeah, kelly tried to manipulate me and blame me for her being a cunt behind my back. then emma comes along, who i was friends with at the time, and completely turns on me for leaving the group. and sierra was no help by lying and sticking up for char and they were all just trying to manipulate me and blame me when they were all talking about me for literally no reason other than the fact that i was an active member in their rp 🤡 and then obviously it blew up from there when i started hearing other people’s stories…. this was all particularly hard on me bc i joined wilmington straight after my break-up/suicide attempt in october 2017 and it was the first thing that gave me joy after that and i found beth and i was having such a good time but then i was getting bad vibes from char and sierra and feeling excluded and like i wasn’t wanted (which i wasn’t, bc even though kelly was pissing bullshit in my ear not ALL OF IT was bullshit) so yeah. it’s not the worst thing in the world, obviously, but it brought me back to that very dark place that i’d been trying to escape by joining in the first place!!! and this wasn’t my first rp experience where my passion was ridiculed and picked on…… i thought writing was the point of rp but…… 🤷‍♀️ I’M the one that killed the rpc, apparently. too much passion, too much power.

I'm so sorry your friends cancelled on you. I've never been to a concert for the same reason, I don't want to go alone. I don't LIKE doing things alone, which has resulted in me just.... not doing most things. For her to cancel last minute is especially shitty, it sucks that you got your hopes up only to have them dashed. I get how much it hurts and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this on top of everything else

Same.  I just.  I have a history of constantly being excluded from things.  I’m a very polarizing person irl (I am basically the walking confirmation of television’s favourite “Smart People Are Weird and Socially Awkward” trope--my dad literally describes me to people as “so smart she’s weird”, and my fam has low-key jokingly called me “Spencer Reid” before, to build a picture of my People Skills--and people either like me or hate me, no in between) and have a very small friend group (but it’s made up of people I trust), and I rarely get to do the things I actually want to do b/c the few friends I do have are usually busy, or in another country, or in another province, which is basically another country considering Canada’s sheer land mass.  So I’m really sensitive b/c I have a long history of being excluded and of people cancelling on me and of having to do literally everything alone, etc, and it’s just.  Exhausting.  And it makes me think that something’s wrong with me, and I’m doubly frustrated because I do so much for other people but when push comes to shove p/ much no one is willing to go to bat for me and do the same.

And so just for her to cancel on me and then double around and ask me to take care of her goddamn animals again (and listen I hate these rabbits, I do, b/c not only am I allergic to them on a contact-basis but b/c she’s never home I’m stuck feeding them because I’m not a monster and don’t want to actively kill them) b/c she’s staying at her boyfriend’s again... like it just hammers home how selfish she is I guess, which I always know because while I love her she’s very much a “me me me”-type person (she comes first, everyone can suck it, if you get upset you’re being irrational, etc) and just.

I’m going to stop now before I get upset again.  I went out for a walk and bought myself something from Cinnaholic and a bubble tea and my food is on its way.

I don't think you're aware that it's considered rape when someone (who is sober) has sex with someone who isn't in the right mind to consent e.g. drunk ppl.

I don’t think you understand how to READ.

If you cared or were considerate enough to actually check the facts BEFORE you came to me with this extremely derogatory and accusatory message, you would have seen that I NEVER even once wrote that it was non-consensual. I wrote, “…you calmly look at Tae. “Okay, we slept together. But I was drunk, and so were you. It was a one time thing…”

If you can tell,1. The OC is CALM. Reread that, CALM. If this were structured in anyway to be a situation of discomfort or of non-consensual sex, then I believe (and I hope) I am a good enough writer to indicate those nuances in the mood, or her actions, and structure them that way to make sure it was clear she was in an uncomfortable situation. However, on the contrary, she is calm, blushing, and stuttering more as an indication of her attraction to Tae. Her nervousness (ie. glancing around the cafe/covering Tae’s mouth) were illustrated not to be actions of fear or anxiety, but instead of a desire for the conversations about their sex life not to be overheard by others of the cafe.

2. She acknowledges that they slept together. Quite literally she says, “Okay, we slept together.” If the calm tone she’s using wasn’t enough then hopefully the “Okay” and the acknowledgement of their activities indicates that it was a completely consensual action.

3. She says, “it was a one time thing,” which again acknowledges their activities together, but also indicates that it was an activity they both agreed to, although the only misunderstanding was that she was the one who initially wanted it to be a one-time thing, and he in the Drabble is hoping for it to be something more.

4. she REMEMBERS what happened and is comfortable with it. Which, should be a clear indication of her full capacity to consent and her comfort with making that decision once before. She was not incapacitated. Tae was not drunk, I see that, but neither was he completely sober like you have stated there. He did not take advantage of her, and neither was he one of those strangers who sought her out because she was drunk. They are friends, if you didn’t get that from the playful banter and the comfort she has touching him/talking to him, etc.

Because it is a drabble, no, I did not explicitly write out the sex scene. I wasn’t able to include the part where right before he puts it in he asks her “are you okay?” And she nods and then squeezes her eyes shut like every other fic does. (Although I am guilty of this trope)But I understand and acknowledge the importance of consent, and I made the effort in every single smut fic I wrote to make sure it was consensual through actions and words. I’ve always hoped that as an author, I slowly and steadily built up the trust in my readers to be able to write a Drabble without being accused of approving (by writing it/making it public) and misunderstanding the gravity of what non-consensual sex actually means. But seeing your message, I guess not.

And I say this, I believe completely that sex and all aspects of any relationship should be consensual. Consent/lack-of consent can be given through verbal and non-verbal communication, and vice versa. Never ever will I ever in my fics or my blog will I endorse or approve of anything otherwise that impinges on these rights.

I am usually very quick to apologize for something I’ve done wrong. But this, this is something completely different. You are accusing me of condoning non-consensual sex and this is something that is especially important in society today and to me personally, and I will not stand and just apologize to groundless accusations without defending myself.

Seeing how quick you were to just throw such an accusation at me makes me wonder how the hell you watch any KoRean dramas and read my fic at the same time, seeing that kdramas are such an integral part of Kpop culture and often depict couples making drunken mistakes or one-night stands they end up regretting (eg. Fated to Love you, Witch’s romance, etc.)

Other factors are taken into consideration regarding rape. Age, for example. Do I ever state explicitly in this drabble that the OC is over the legal age to consent? No. Do I state however that she was drinking, indicating a more mature age and also that she is taking notes for college-level classes, which should help readers conclude that she is of legal age to be having sex with Tae and be giving him consent to engage in those activities? Yes. These things are IMPLIED, and so was my implications of her consent. Her enjoyment and approval and acknowledgement are all implied, if not even more explicitly stated in the sentences I wrote. We as fic writers cannot add every single detail. Please, name me a good writer who explicitly states the name, height, age, birthday, and address of every oc created. No, we don’t do that. We keep oc’s as generic as possible to ensure that readers can get an all-encompassing experience without being excluded for their differences. So if I leave out the sentence that screams, “By the way, you, as an eighteen year old adult who was able to consent,” am I implying that whatever happened in the fic is completely rape because the oc was not mentally capable of condoning what happened? No. It was implied, and quite clear to be honest.

Seriously, don’t do this again. If you’re going to accuse me, come to me with facts.

And to my other readers, I’m so sorry you had to see this. I hope the rest of you trust me enough to know that if I EVER write a fic about anything in regards to a non-consensual sexual experience, I will definitely add a trigger warning and approach it with an attitude of respect and caution. I hope each of you trusts me enough to know that I am educated and human enough to never take something like this lightly and go anywhere near condoning anything non-consensual.And please, if you have any personal perspectives that may have lead you to read this drabble with a view that seems not to be the one that I wrote this drabble with, I invite you to discuss it with me in my inbox.

Hey, as an ace-hetero person; fuck you. You have no right, no damn right to tell me where I belong. I don't think you understand how isolating it feels to be ace-hetero, and that's not to discount the struggles of those on the LGBTQ spectrum because there's no denying they deal with a hell of a lot, but that does not mean we don't deal with shit too. Being ace-hetero, I've always felt indescribably different from everyone I know.

My hetero friends wouldn't understand and my LGBTQ friends don't want me. It's like being inches away from two sides of a cliff but you can't reach either. And to have people like you, arrogant assholes who overestimate the extent of their knowledge, constantly discredit who I am hurts more than you could imagine.

The LGBTQA+ community isn't for you to decide who belongs and no, accepting ace people wouldn't take away from other issues, because being ace is not an issue and, although i can only speak from my own experience, most ace people just want to be accepted, and when people like you decide we can't be, it fucking sucks.

I’m gonna be nice and not air out your username, since your first message was on anon and the rest weren’t, and you might have genuinely misunderstood my stance on this. I’m also sorry you haven’t had good experiences in getting support.

I’m not sure how you got that I don’t accept or support ace folks, though. I absolutely do, I just use an understanding of power to establish my priorities when it comes to LGBT+ spaces, who is welcomed into them, whose voices should matter, who resources should be directed towards and made more accessible, etc. and that necessarily excludes cishet aro/ace folks because when I have to choose between their inclusion and the more marginalized people their inclusion would exclude, I’m going to stand with the latter. I’m going to support people who need those spaces and resources because they literally do not have anywhere else, whereas people with more power can find some semblance of what they seek elsewhere.

Here’s a bit of what I’ve said in the past

I’m saying that aro/ace folks are, and have always been, part of the community. Anyone who is out of their teens and has been active in meatspace LGBT+ spaces will be able to tell you that.

But my stance is that certain groups of people within the community who wield violent, oppressive power, regardless of their membership, should be removed from spaces and resources whenever possible.

This includes TERFs, white supremacists, cishet folks, among others, but the aforementioned three are pretty easy examples of groups that historically wield violent oppressive power to and within our community.

It’s not that they aren’t LGBT+, necessarily, it’s that they cannot be trusted as a group to not reproduce violence against the most marginalized of us, and we cannot weigh ideals and utopian goals of what we’d wish the community to be like, over the material realities of what the community currently is.

That, IMO, would be like SWERFs who want to abolish sex work and don’t care about the material impact their policies have on real living sex workers right now. Maybe in a fantasy world, a world without sex work could be better, but right now, there are people who need our help, and harm prevention needs to be the top priority. Allowing harmful groups to remain in our spaces, and in control of our resources, will only end up excluding those community members who need support, spaces, and resources the most. Like, any space that is welcoming to TERFs is automatically trans-exclusive, for example. That’s just a fact. Any space with white supremacist leadership would be poc-exclusive. Just a fact.Due to violent groups’ presence and power in the community, they wouldn’t be safe in those spaces and in accessing those resources and for many of them, there is literally nowhere else. Not potentially some places where they can manage to cobble some degree support or resources, even if it’s sometimes not ideal or sometimes isn’t quite enough, like cishet folks can, but literally none.

So, for your example, cishet aro/ace folks are indeed inherently LGBT+. But as a category, they wield too much violent power and oppression to outweigh any gains that could be made of allowing them to remain active in those spaces. Education is not a viable strategy to fixing that(it hasn’t worked for PoC, it hasn’t worked for disabled members, it hasn’t worked for trans members, it hasn’t worked for intersex members, etc.), but working to help develop resources outside of the community that might serve them better is viable and has been effective.

For instance, a lot of sexual support services have gotten material from within the aro/ace community as well as from within the broader LGBT+ community to help expand their services like sex ed, their hotlines, etc. to cover a more diverse population. I fully 100% support this endeavour, and I’m happy to know that gains are being made on aro/ace information and outreach and support in that sector in north america. That way, cis het aro/ace folks could get support, spaces, and resources they need without exerting violent, oppressive power against anyone. It’s a win-win. Just like LGBT+ TERFs being able to contact The Trevor Project is a win-win because that allows them to receive aid without running the risk of encountering anyone they oppress or spreading their oppressive bullshit in our communities.

Worst case scenario when some individual cishet aro/ace folks absolutely, for whatever reason, literally cannot get any aid elsewhere…yeah, cut them some slack. But they should never occupy positions of power. They should not be able to vote on resource allocation. They should never lead educational workshops. I’ve seen too many people wielding violent, oppressive power sneak into those positions of power/authority, and use their influence to shift voting towards outcomes reflective of their oppressive views/perspectives, or disregard certain forms of harassment inside the community, or promote certain harmful views in community events, or facilitate the social ostracism of unwanted outspoken marginalized people who are rocking the boat too much (often trans folks, poc, disabled folks, etc.), so IMO, it’s too dangerous to let them take root like that. They have too much oppressive power to be trusted to take up permanent space. It really isn’t much to ask that they be aware of how dangerous and distressing their presence can be to more vulnerable folks.

I say this as someone who has spent over half my life in and around these spaces, and having overwhelmingly heard similar stories elsewhere. Power is real, it functions in predictable patterns, and it needs to be accounted for when discussing how to run and facilitate our spaces and resources. Spaces and resources where violently oppressive groups are allowed access and to set down roots? Those end up growing toxic and exclusive against those who need help the most. Maybe one day things will be different, but right now? We can’t afford to let violently oppressive people remain in our communities.

I love aro/ace folks. I do. But power is something that has to be acknowledged, especially when it is directly tied to violence against community members. And those who wield violent power and oppress should not be welcome, and should be exiled by any means necessary, regardless of their identity or position

Ultimately, what it comes down to is whether I choose other trans women, or cishet aro/ace folks, and I will always, always chose trans women. If that makes me a bad person in your eyes, so be it I don’t mind. I know I’m not a bad person, and I’m doing what’s right for people like me. I don’t have the luxury of not being realistic about the generally predictable power dynamics in the LGBT+ community. 

My activism is all about harm reduction. Reducing harm is pivotal, and that means finding ways to make communities safer and resources more accessible to everyone, and that includes helping folks understand where they can appropriately take up space.

My top priority when it comes to organizing, shaping, and navigating our communities is to make community more accessible for trans women of all stripes because we’re a demographic with appallingly low community support and accessibility to resources, and that has to change. Trans women need to feel safe.

When communities bring in people with more oppressive, harmful perspectives, it passively and/or actively pushes more marginalized members out. I cannot abide that, and while I will do what I can to help aro/ace folks of all stripes, I cannot pretend that the inclusion is cishet aro/ace folks is not a zero sum issue because it absolutely is, whether people want to accept that or not. It’s a silent choice people are faced with...you can hate me for answering vocally but that doesn’t change that I had to choose, and I choose my people.

I will not be ashamed or feel guilty about prioritizing trans women when no one other than trans women will. I’m not arrogant for doing so or pushing for certain people to not take up space in our communities as a means to keep those spaces safer and more accessible to those who need it more. Because frankly, the most marginalized in the communities do need those spaces the most, and need to be prioritized. Ideally, everyone would have their needs met and would be safe and supported, but that’s not reality. That’s not how it goes down, not locally, and not online, so I need to be realistic. I need to prioritize.

My prioritizes don’t include cishet aro/ace folks when it comes to maintaining and operating in LGBT+ spaces. I trust the aro/ace community and general sexual support services to understandably pick up that slack, which they generally do well with. I want everyone to get the support and resources they need, but when the inclusion of one group virtually always raises obstacles for members of my group to access those spaces, the support they need, and the resources they need, I need to have their backs in that. Maybe that’s ‘ruthless calculus’ as Garrus Vakarian would call it, but like I said, no one else is looking out for trans women except trans women, so I don’t have the luxury of caring about anyone else when my people are put at risk of complete isolation (which can often lead to death for us).