#i just know life is better when i spend time with people sometimes and have someone to get through university hell with
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So I was reading your meta about why Tom/Minerva wouldn't be a thing or work out in the long run past a date or two, and thought I'd take a stab at how Tom and Alphard did make it work in your and Vinelle's fics.
Alphard's high tolerance for relationship shenanigans
Tom might care about his partners (he wouldn't start a relationship in the first place if he didn't), but he's often bad at letting them know, and also pulls a lot of obnoxious shenanigans/is pushy in general, which can drive off many potential partners. Being in a relationship with Tom means having to put up with a lot.
So Alphard is one of those people who can tolerate this. Maybe part of it is just his natural personality, but I feel like Walburga being so domineering during their early childhood (she's like this in their early adulthood too, and I doubt their dynamics have changed that much) also plays a major role. Alphard's still capable of being assertive and stubborn over things he finds particularly outrageous, but his default reaction to things he doesn't like is to give up after his first few attempts to change it fail, and just grumble and despair to himself in a corner. So when first-year Tom comes along beating him up, Alphard just goes with his well-practiced response of letting the other party have their way and getting it over with already.
He's also introverted and uncharismatic, which means he doesn't have much of a social life and gets lonely as a result. So having a boyfriend who values him for his thoughts and he can have a deeper connection with is something Alphard really likes, so even if said boyfriend is sometimes being negligent or pulling/having pulled crazy stuff (ie constantly beating him up in the past), it's still better than nothing. The fact that he's gay which massively cuts down on potential romantic partners, and would make him stigmatized if he got outed doesn't help. Neither does his massive crush on Tom. (Lily's more charming and doesn't have the orientation issue, but she's still lonely and without deep connections. In any case, she also displays the same high tolerance for less-than-stellar boyfriend behavior)
Minerva, who probably has a better social life and isn't so lonely, would be less tolerant of all of Tom's baggage.
2. Alphard already being aware Tom isn't all sunshine, and in general gets to see past the facade more
He's in Slytherin, and they're dormmates to boot, which means Alphard is getting a front-row seat to Tom being a horrible menace to their housemates (and him). Nonetheless he still finds things to admire about Tom, and though that could be kickstarted by teenage hormones, a good chunk of that attachment must come from Alphard himself or the crush wouldn't last so many years. Alphard is already at the point of being able to accept liking Tom while still knowing he does unpleasant things. So if you drop the revelation of Tom doing worse than just nasty school bullying onto their heads (ie the basilisk and horcruxes), Alphard will still be in for a shock, but that's less for him to process than Minerva who only gets the shattered charming perfect facade of Tom to work with.
Also, being dormmates means that Alphard in general gets to spend more time observing Tom, which combined with his perceptiveness means he knows Tom as a person rather well, maybe better than Tom knows him (Tom spent several years not paying attention), dirty secrets aside. Even the less observant Abraxas manages to see more of Tom by virtue of his position than Minerva.
3. Tom's actually interested because of circumstance and the mystery/newness factor
Tom is fresh from all the crazy stuff that went down last year and in the summer, and while presumably still having a mental breakdown has gotten some of it out of his system. He's still unhappy and restless and wants to do something to distract himself, but he probably wants it to be something less, uhh, exciting than what happened earlier. (I'm assuming what was described in OOI is also canon to TMWWBK or other fics)
And then while going through his usual kicking housemates in the stomach so they know their place routine, he notices Alphard's choice of reading material. Come on, there's no way his stupid dormmate actually understands that stuff, right? He's probably just being pretentious and wants to make himself feel smart. Nonetheless, there's nothing lost if he asks, and then when Alphard doesn't give the expected answer he gets curious. Isn't this exactly the kind of harmless pursuit he wanted? (Alphard, meanwhile, sees what's happening and decides to deliberately bait Tom into following up) One thing leads to another when Tom realizes Alphard himself has some pretty interesting thoughts sometimes, and then they're friends and romantically involved.
This also seems to be the case for other fics where Tom gets romantically entangled with someone. More than even intelligence, Tom seems to need that other person to have hidden depths or a mystery that he can pursue. Bonus points for them being evasive, which eggs him on. Minerva, as a known factor that he already gets the gist of, just doesn't interest him enough.
4. General romanticism and Alphard's willingness to commit
So you said Tom's romanticism makes him want to skip the dating stage and do relationships in an all or nothing way. Either they commit or there's no relationship at all.
And Alphard, who isn't exactly swimming in other options, is quite attached to Tom, and does have a dramatic streak himself, is willing to take the plunge. The fact that it's a taboo relationship (both same-sex and a pureblood seeing an apparent muggleborn) and they have to see each other in secret, demanding a higher level of commitment, just amplifies it.
5. The blood purism and societal issues thing
This is the part where it doesn't work. Well, those two have other things going for them, and have enough of an established relationship and care for each other that they try to work around this issue, but it never gets fully resolved in the canon and near-canon timelines. The blood purity debate is one of those things that comes up every now and then, and always ends with them deciding to call it quits because neither party is convincing the other anyways, and don't they have more productive things to do with their time?
So Tom of course struggles to get anywhere in the wizarding world as himself, and concerned, Alphard tries to help by giving him financial support, which often is turned down. Alphard might think it's just Tom being too proud to accept handouts, and that is part of the reason he won't take substantial gifts unless Alphard gets smart about it, but it's also a matter of principle. The issue is the wizarding world being built on nepotism and closing its doors to outsiders, and Tom only managing to do well with his insider boyfriend's help kind of proves the point.
Alphard is better about understanding muggleborn issues than most purebloods, but he isn't muggleborn himself, and there's still a remove between watching something happen to a loved one and experiencing it yourself. So he's aware of Tom's struggles to get anywhere in society legitimately, and acknowledges it's unfair, but the same tendency towards resignation that helps him put up with Tom's nonsense also works against him here, in that he gives up on the system changing too easily. For him, yes, the system is broken and there's a lot of things that could be done better so muggleborns don't get screwed over, but it is what it is, and it's not like they can actually change things. Tom, of course, refuses to accept this, and this tension eventually leads to Alphard being unable to prevent the Voldemort thing because he can't fully get it.
So that's at least what I got from analyzing things. Please let me know if I missed anything significant or got something wrong.
This is a truly beautiful post anon, I love it, but unfortunately confirming or denying anything would be spoilers to a lot of things..
Look, @therealvinelle, ship thoughts!
#harry potter#harry potter meta#harry potter headcanon#harry potter shipping#tom riddle#alphard black#tom riddle/alphard black#alphalord#meta#headcanon#opinion
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What is the "tong incident" that your bio refers to? I've looked it up, but Tumblr's search is awful haha
Sorry it took me a bit to get to this! (although if you've ever sent me a poll ask, you're probably used to it)
I don't have a link, but the "Tong Incident" refers to a poll that got a LOT of notes for a very specific reason a few months ago, entirely centered around this
Yup. A pair of tongs. The problem is, they had EVERY name for this, EXCEPT tongs! And people LOST IT over that! I think it has somewhere between 150k and 200k notes by now?
Now I'm not sure if everyone else refers to things like this, but to me "Tong Incident" type polls means when people make polls that intentionally make people feel negative emotions just to get notes!
I have a personal rule, when it comes to having an online presence (I may not be a big blog, but it makes a difference!). I want to make something that people can be happy browsing, no matter what. Everything I post, I do everything I can to avoid making things more unfriendly. Not every opinion has to be put on the internet! Not every take must be talked about! Not every upsetting thing is a 'problem'!
I'm ranting.
The point is, the Tong poll made me realise that a lot of polls are made to upset people into giving them more notes. I love to get notes; reblogs feel amazing. But I refuse to get those at the expense of upsetting people! I would rather get my following the right way, rather than exploiting the system of tumblr.
#not a poll#now let me say; when I say 'not everything has to be said' I mean that we should think to ourselves.#'is there any benifit to me posting about/complaining about this? will this make anyone else feel better? will this make ME feel better?'#because sometimes#when you spend all of your time complaining#you stop noticing the good in your life#I'm a poll blog. I'm just 1 person doing what I can to make other people happy. I might not have the best advice or the largest following#but its a nice thing to consider. The smallest thing you do can make someone else happy#There's a fun game I play in my IRL life actually that focuses on that!#When I pass someone on the street or I'm at a cashier or something#I make it a point to find something; just ONE thing about them I can compliment#And it usually makes their day! I love getting into conversations with absolute strangers about their hair and how they dyed it you know?#Okay I know that's a lot of tags now#Thank you for the ask#I really wanted a chance to rant about that <3
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Most people really don't seem to understand that friendship is a two-way street.
They expect you to wait on them hand and foot as they rant about and constantly pour on you either their issues or their passions and when you finally have something you'd like to talk about you get a "Man that sucks :/" or a "Cool" in return.
Find somebody who doesn't do that. Then you'll have your best friend.
#i know i ramble sometimes and i'm extremely grateful that my best friend puts up with it :')#but see then in return i do the same for her because it would be completely unfair for me to expect her to act like a wall for me to talk a#or when i wanna show her something and i can tell she's being polite and it doesn't personally strike her fancy I MOVE ON#and she does the same for me and we have way frickin better communication and we have a frickin rad friendship#it's give and take#and also can we bring back the idea of being able to work through some things on your own?#like i am ALL FOR having a support system that can encourage you when things go wrong but some things can be solved on your own#i shouldn't be bearing the burden of figuring out your life for you you know?#i'm absolutely willing to help but if you're just going to spend all your time complaining to me and never ever take my advice#then there comes a point at which i'm literally just acting as your therapist and that's not how friendships are supposed to work#i've become kind of the designated therapist in a lot of friendships throughout my life#and it is exhausting constantly being complained at (sometimes over very minor things)#only to have that person or people COMPLETELY ignore your advice every single time you try to give it#that's not friendship my dude that's using me because you just want someone to complain to#like i said. support system good. treating your friend like an emotional punching bag to let out your problems 24/7 very very bad.#like when i was feeling completely unlike myself and irritated and frustrated for three dang years straight#i didn't really talk about it much because i knew it wasn't the kind of thing advice was going to fix#so i wasn't in the discord servers every two seconds “MAN I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD :///”#because when other people do this to me there comes a point at which i'm like “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT”#like i've given you all the advice i have and you have taken absolutely none of it nor have you taken any action on your own#so now i'm just here to make you feel better about yourself and that's really not my job#emotional support is necessary. patting you on the head when you refuse to do anything to better your situation is not.#tl;dr people who refuse to do anything to better their situation other than complain to ME about it 24/7 drive me nuts#and it drives other people nuts so please don't do it to anyone#don't bottle up your emotions but also don't let them come crashing down and drown everyone you know#just because you can't be bothered to put ANY effort forth to contain them#emotional regulation is attractive~~~#society today has built such a culture of “it's not YOUR fault and if you cry about it hard enough someone will fix it for you” like no sir#sometimes it IS your fault and sometimes you DO need to take responsibility#and if it is your fault then absolutely no one but you is obligated to fix it
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We've officially reached the 'too demotivated and drained to bother to go to class' part of the semester. Awesome
#if it wasn't for the strike I'd just go home on tuesday morning#because i don't want to miss too many korean sessions because we can't be absent more often than 4 times#but i don't plan on going to my monday and tuesday classes#and thursday is a holiday so that class is canceled and i am willing to miss wednesday's korean class if it means getting to#see my dog a day earlier#but alas i cannot#because no trains and shit#also my friend asked me if i wanted to join for drinks sometime this week(end) and i desperately need new friends#(i.e. i don't want to turn down invitations from people i don't hang out with often because i basically am getting#actively excluded from my other friends' activities (literally. if you don't want me around it's literally fine. just don't fucking act#like you do. i hate it here lmao)#no but that friend was like 'I'll always invite you' and damn i LOVE to hear it because the others apparently hate having me around#(again. fair enough. I'm not particularly outgoing or fun so i get it. i just don't want to make any effort there anymore so i kinda need#to make an effort with other people? because i really like her and all but i also don't feel like going out#and would much rather go home see my dogs- but if i turn down too many invitations she'll stop inviting me#which is only logical- idk i don't really want to have to have friends anymore#i just know life is better when i spend time with people sometimes and have someone to get through university hell with#anyway. i don't wanna go to class anymore and i really don't wanna do this degree anymore and i actually do not#want to go to korea but i have to because it's my only chance but it makes me want to kill myself but also not doing it would make me want#to kill myself so i don't really have anything going for me there#void screams
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i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa
#the bin#i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious#so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh.#i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad#im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20#more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long#and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful#i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed#and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what#else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option#i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed!#it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them#all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister#also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be.#i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul#fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh.#how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon#and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some#i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to#all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone#besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider#friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period#i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho.#i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past#8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me.#its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone#it will get better. it has to.
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Mfs can't understand a blunt mf they always gotta try and read between the lines or straight up deny the words you're saying and deny how you feel
#I just woke up so Imma overshare without worrying abt it lmao#like yeah people should be wary there are some messed up people out there but like#I'm being straight up with you I do not have the energy to keep up a lie and I just think it is much easier to have clear communication#people just instantly assume that I'm up to something or not being sincere they don't even give me a chance#bcuz if they did they would instantly be able to tell that I am just like that and I am being as straight up as I possibly can#people just aren't use to that ig#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's why I just assume everyone is telling the truth to me and if they did lie my trust in them would break thru those lies#they will eventually tell me the truth if they feel they can trust me and if they don't then that is their business#if someone spends all their time formulating lies for me then that is /their/ energy wasted. not mine lmao#just like let go bro it ain't a big deal to just say stuff straight up you just gotta figure out the right ways to say stuff is all#ya just gotta be real with urself and sometimes shit it confusing af and that is normal brains tend to just fuck around#situations aren't black and white so you might seem hypocritical but again that's life#the best you can do is show how you feel thru actions when words fail you#and people might not understand you but at least you know how you are and you either accept it or make efforts to get better#~.~ me when I get too into it listen I got a little sibling who doesn't understand lots of stuff like I'm trying to teach them things#so I kinda go into this mode a lot of just like trying to explain stuff mostly abt understanding emotions and that other people feel things#I also talk abt this stuff with my other sibling but they are older so it's usually a lot of trying to figure out brain stuff#and trying to come to an understand etc etc I like to talk about these types of things and I might not have all the answer but like#I try. it doesn't work for everyone but hopefully it can at least help people discover what DOES help them#like it might seem like I value honesty a lot but I honestly don't care if people lie to me that is their business ✌️😋#like it only bothers me when it's obvious like Oh I didn't put that dish there I put it somewhere else Well buddy ur the only other person#who else did it or like Oh I didn't say anything I didn't say a word and it's like Buddy I know you did it just own up it's over with#people lie a lot in an attempt to avoid getting in trouble and specifically people getting angry at them but like I'm not the type to argue#I'm not gonna get mad and if I do I'll cool down pretty easily as long as we actually talk things out but like I don't get mad often#I don't really mind most things like if you talk shit behind my back that's not my business lmao just goes to show ur own character#like so many things are not my problem and simply show ur own judge of character#if you don't like me simply don't talk to me 😌 it's really not a big deal I don't mind at all#anyway I ramble... I could likely ramble more but I assume Imma run outta tag space soon
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thinking about konig asking to eat you out and you being like “lol no i’m on my period.” and he’s all “ohhhh idc idc i wanna eat it so bad 🥺” and you need to be like no. buddy. you clearly do not get it. i am not a 2-3 day period, “who needs pads i’ll just freebleed” girlie. i am a 7-8 day, heavy flow, bleed through the pad girlie, lmfao.
and then he eats it anyways because not only has he been around so much more blood than you could ever imagine but also he’s lowkey highkey into it teeeheeeeeeee ;P
"Schatzen, I kill people for money. You really think I'm scared of a little blood?"
You wasn't nervous of the fact he wasn't scared of a bit of blood - even though it was not, in fact, just a little. Even though it was, in fact, a lot and made you ask him to bring you newer pads. You didn't really think he would be scared of a bit of period blood - but you were fucking terrified at the fact that he seemed to adore it. To cherish every drop, till the last one - to press his face between your thighs and look at you like a kitten who wants a bit of cream.
The thing is, Konig missed you. Returning from a two month contract only meant he was ready to destroy your pelvis and fuck you for every hour he is on leave - unfortunately, he can't quite do that, you're too fragile to take his cock four times per day...but you can take his tongue. Even if that means having the metallic taste cling to his tongue for days on end, he would gladly spend the whole week buried in your cunt, relishing in your taste.
It's a nice way to deal with cramps, he might think. Konig literally read one article about how orgasms can sometimes help some people with their cramps, and he'd use this for the rest of his life. Oh, your stomach is hurting and you feel like your womb is trying to eat you from the inside? Just let him eat you out! No matter how many times you push him away and beg for him to stop, he'd still laugh and push his tongue deeper, over and over. He is a mercenary, he is getting paid tons of money to cover himself in blood of his victims - having his pretty girlfriend cry and cum on his tongue is a nice addition.
You don't even question it when he starts to track your periods, knowing you'd have it even when you forget - you don't question the dates he literally keeps posted on your shared calendar, don't care that the amount of heating pads in the house had largely diminished - and he won't buy you a new one because he is much better at being a heating pad anyway!
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things they unconsciously do for you | ot13
[☁️] seungcheol
protecting you
choi seungcheol is a protector through and through (you could say that sometimes he’s a tad too protective, but it’s simply because he loves you so much and he would most likely end up with a meltdown if he saw you hurt). covering sharp corners, walking on the outside of the pavement, holding your hand in big crowds, cutting the meat for you - doing all of these things is like second nature for cheol. he never thinks about doing them, like “oh, they dropped their spoon, maybe i should cover the table corner so they don’t bump their head”. no no. he just does it, simple as that. and good luck to the person that tries to make you uncomfortable or invade your personal space because well… choi seungcheol will fight them
[☁️] jeonghan
wrapping you up with a scarf/ putting on beanie
jeonghan, as someone who gets cold easily, is very vary around the people around him being cold as well. he’s always more than happy to share some of his body heat with someone else, especially because hugging means more warmth. when it comes to you, though, there is no way you’re getting out of the house without a thick scarf and a beanie. it doesn’t matter if you get easily cold or not, jeonghan does not let you out of the house before you’re properly bundled up. the first thing he grabs when you’re getting ready to go out is your/ his scarf and a beanie, and he dresses you up like a mom dresses up a child, but there’s nothing you can do about it. and if you come to the practice room without anything wrapped around your neck, jeonghan is quick to change that, as he pulls out his own scarf to give it to you.
[☁️] joshua
ordering for you
sometimes being social - even if it’s just ordering food - can be overwhelming, and shua understands that completely. he never judges you for it, he could never, and that alone makes you feel so much better. he never minds it when you cling to his arm, standing beside him while he’s ordering coffee, or when you point to the food on the menu so he could tell the waiter what you want to eat. sometimes he doesn’t even has to ask you what you want to order because he knows you so well by now that he can guess what type of boba you’re craving that day or which type of pasta you want to get.
[☁️] jun
brushing your hair
jun likes his silent acts of service, brushing your hair being one of them. whether it be after you wake up, or after a shower, jun finds brushing your hair to be very calming, so it’s also a way for him to distress and spend some time with you as well. sometimes you sit in silence, sometimes you talk about your days, but it’s always so intimate without being sexual, and there’s something beautiful about that. and he adores looking at your sleepy reflection in the mirror, your eyes closing on their own, as he gently runs a brush through your hair, making sure not to pull too harshly.
[☁️] hoshi
carrying your bag
it doesn’t matter what colour it is, if it’s a tote bag or a small baguette one - hoshi is going to carry it, like the gentleman he is. for one, he figures it must be uncomfortable and tiresome to carry a bag around all the damn time, also he doesn’t want you to strain your shoulders too much, so whenever he’s around he is going to be the one to carry it. and he always makes sure before you go out that you have all of your necessities packed in case you forgot something too. also, as much as he’s easy to distract, when he holds your bag at parties he turns on his bodyguard mode, protecting that bag like his life depends on it, clutching it closely to his body (will glare if someone dares to step too close to it).
[☁️] wonwoo
taking of your glasses after you’ve fallen asleep
as a person who wears glasses himself he knows how annoying and uncomfortable it is to fall asleep with your glasses on (not to mention that they can break too), so this is as natural as breathing for him. he probably has a couple of photos in his camera roll of you asleep with your glasses on, but sometimes you look too adorable for him not to take a quick picture for him to coo over later. he always gently takes them off as not to wake you up, and places a kiss on your forehead, before putting your glasses away so they wouldn’t break on accident.
[☁️] woozi
(i don’t really know how to name this?)
woozi is an insanely attentive man, which is one of the reasons why he’s so great at those silent acts of service that make your heart flutter so much. he picks up the smallest things - like shifts in your mood when you’re upset or feeling a bit down, and while at the beginning of your relationship he was a bit awkward with that since he wasn’t really sure how to help you, now he knows exactly what you need. it’s not even that he has to think about holding your hand or hugging you, or just simply sitting next to you - it’s almost like his body gravitates towards you on its own, like it knows you need him by his side in that moment. you could argue that it’s the bare minimum (which it is), but with jihoon it’s so natural, like i hope you get what i’m trying to say - but the way he’s always there right by your side when you need him without having to mention that you’re not feeling that well is everything you could ever ask for.
[☁️] dk
holding your hand in big crowds
all seokmin wants is for you to be happy, loved, and safe. grabbing your hand when you’re in big crowds is a no brainer for him, it’s like his hand moves by itself, finding yours, and intertwining your fingers. he never lets go, not before he’s sure you’re safe with a smaller amount of people around you, where you wouldn’t get lost or swarmed by the crowd, and even then he usually keeps on holding your hand. and if you get stuck in a big crowd, like during a concert or a festival, he often pulls you to his chest, and puts his arms securely around you, so he’s sure no one will bump into you or step on your foot.
[☁️] mingyu
cooking for you
mingyu loves cooking and eating, that much we know. but what he loves more is cooking for you. to be honest, making food for you has always been something obvious for mingyu, from the very beginning of your relationship, and he never saw it as a chore or something he felt obligated to do. preparing breakfasts on your days off, making you lunch for work/school, cooking dinner for your at home dates - it brings him so much joy because not only does he get to do what he loves, but it also reassures him that you’re eating well and not skipping any meals (whenever he finds out you skip meals you end up with a very sulky and low key angry kim mingyu).
[☁️] minghao
buying you clothes
it’s not that he doesn’t like your style or thinks you’re bad at choosing your outfits, on the contrary - during the first stages of your relationship he payed a lot of attention to what you liked to wear, and for which types of clothes you went for, so that he could spoil you with clothes and accessories you liked, making sure you’d be comfortable in them and feeling 100% you. now, whenever he saw something he knew you’d like he immediately bought it, with no second thoughts. it’s kind of comforting to know that your significant other knows you so well that they know exactly what you’d like or what would draw your attention if you were shopping yourself.
[☁️] seungkwan
singing/ humming you to sleep
it’s not like he lays down and automatically starts singing, but he does that whenever he sees you need it. sometimes it’s singing, sometimes it’s only humming, but it’s like his body just knows you need something to soothe your mind to fall asleep. whenever he feels you shuffling around, tossing and turning, unable to find a comfy position - he gently grabs you by your waist, and pulls you a bit closer to him, and starts singing/humming. he doesn’t think much about doing it, it’s like an automatic response because one of the most heartbreaking sights for boo is seeing you unable to rest, unable to get your well deserved sleep.
[☁️] vernon
refilling your snacks drawer
there’s just something about vernon and him noticing all of those small things about you, and what you love. and one thing you definitely love is him and your snacks. he noticed early in your relationship that you had a drawer in your kitchen dedicated solemnly to your favourite snacks, but also how bad you were at refilling it. thus, he took it upon himself to refill it so you could always have something to munch on, and with time it became such a habit of his that he stopped paying attention that he was actually doing it. whenever he was doing grocery it was obvious to him that the first aisle he had to go to was the snacks aisle so he could pick up all of your favourites.
[☁️] dino
refilling your water bottle
another very attentive man with acts of service as his love language. whether you’re actually good at keeping track of how much you drink, or if you don’t pay much attention to it - chan always re-fills your water bottle for you (he was probably the one to buy it in the first place, choosing a colour to match your aesthetic). he knows how important it is to drink proper amounts of water throughout the day, so making sure you drink sufficient amount of it is as natural as brushing his teeth for him. whenever you’re studying/ working he comes into your room, grabs your water bottle and re-fills it. same as when you’re getting for school/work in the morning - he fills it with water, and puts it back in your bag (sometimes he sticks a note to it as well, with a cute “i love you” message).
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#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen x you#seventeen x reader#seventeen reactions#svt reactions#seventeen kpop#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen carat#seventeen reaction#seventeen requests#seungcheol#jeonghan#joshua#woozi#wen junhui#wonwoo#vernon#svt#seungkwan#dino#svt woozi#mingyu#minghao#hoshi#chwe vernon
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✉️Divorce of Convenience
*part of the reverse trope series*
Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Wife!Reader
Genre: Fluff/Mischief/Miscommunication
Summary: Oscar as your first everything: love, boyfriend, husband. You never had to go through any type of heartbreak ever. With Taylor Swift's new album, you yearn for a deeper connection with the songs. What's a better way than to ask your husband for a weekend divorce?
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
Oscar knew something was up the moment you started smirking behind your phone as you lounged on the couch. His hand was mindlessly rubbing one of your ankles that was currently propped up on his lap. There was a week in between Monaco and Canada, which gave him time to come straight home to you.
Photographs littered the walls of your home. Some from the very early days of grade school, where you and Oscar first met. And then some of grades 9 through 12 and Oscar’s karting and Formula racing, which marked the first four years of your relationship. The engagement pictures and wedding pictures followed a year later.
There were a couple of pictures from 2023, signifying Oscar’s first year in McLaren. There were few from this year, as Oscar got busier, but you managed to pick some out to print. However, the Aussie really didn’t notice them at first, too busy wrapping you in his arms when he got home from the double-header.
Another giggle made him actually look at you, eyebrow raised.
“What’s got you all smiley?”
You huffed as you put your phone down in your lap.
“Taylor Swift came out with a new album, and people on Tik Tok are hilarious.”
He rolled his eyes. He knew that there was more to it.
“And?”
“I’m just thinking about how if we ever went through a breakup, I could relate to some of the songs on a deeper level.”
You sat up to scooch closer to your husband, now touching shoulders as you showed him a video of a woman crying to one of the new songs. Oscar was having a hard time realizing why this was funny to you.
“What if we got a divorce?”
Oh.
Oscar whipped his head toward you, hair swishing. “You want to do what?”
You huffed again, lightly rolling your eyes. “A divorce for like just a bit, so that I can really get to Taylor’s level.”
Oscar’s head reeled back. “Why on earth would you want to do that?”
He was getting a bit self-conscious. Was this your way of silently telling him that you weren’t satisfied being married to him? Was he away too much? Were you bored without him here? Did you want to come to more races with him?
“Ossie, it’s not what you think,” you said as you waved your hands around. Your husband crossed his arms, not entirely impressed.
“What I’m thinking is that you’re not happy with me anymore.”
You wanted to melt into the couch as his sad expression. There wasn’t much difference between him and his new “brother” Leo in terms of puppy eyes. You gently put your hands on his cheeks and made him look at you.
“Oscar you should know better. There isn’t anyone else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.”
He pouted slightly. “Then why do you want to get a ‘divorce’ if you’re still happy.”
You looked down at your lap as you took your hands away from his face. Your fingers started to pick at the skin around your nails. Now that you thought about it, your idea was childish and dramatic. Why would you want to get a divorce when you were happily married to the love of your life.
“Hey.” It was Oscar’s turn to turn your head to look at him. “Just tell me. I’m having a hard time understanding.”
“You were my first everything, you know this. I’ve never gone through a bad breakup or heartbreak, and sometimes I wish that I could experience that.”
He gave you a look. “I understand.”
Your eyebrows furrowed. “You do?”
A nod was your answer. “It’s a part of growing up that you didn’t get to go through.”
Nervous giggles fell through your lips, which turned into actual laughing. You fell forward into Oscar’s lap, making him laugh with you. When all giggles and laughs had subsided, he gave you a quick peck on your lips.
The McLaren driver started to calculate things in his head. “Saur, you want to get a divorce, to listen to some songs for a few hours, and then?”
You bumped him lightly with your shoulder. “Not an actual divorce Ossie. Just, if lots of people believe that we’re getting a divorce then it’s technically true?”
Even you didn’t sound 100 percent sure.
Oscar turned his body to fully face you. Now it was his turn to smirk, knowing what you wanted to do. He was never above creating some mischief online. Heck, his tweets went viral for stirring up the media.
“So, how are we going to do this?”
What Osar wasn’t ready for, was for you to have a 10-step plan for this. He should have been ready for your antics; he had been with you for most of your life. You suddenly stopped talking mid-sentence, your eyes widening, raising some concern in Oscar.
“What’s wrong?”
“We can’t tell Lando.”
With that the plan went into motion. Step one was to cry in the car, which seemed easy enough as you chose to watch some sad edits on TikTok. It was perfect. Your mascara ran enough for the cameras to pick up on it.
The second step was simple. You had a friend who just so happened to work at the Melbourne Law Firm. You had previously wanted to bring her lunch one day, and it worked perfectly for the plan. You knew that people were following you, which made it even better. On your way out, you took a small coffee from the lobby, and then sat in your car for a moment.
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y/nl/n you drew stars around my scars, but down I'm bleeding
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y/nsworld guys. . . SOMEONE WAKE ME UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE 😩
ossie&n/n THEY HIT THE PENTAGON
landonorris you want to REPLY TO MY MESSAGES??
charles_leclerc please also respond to your favorite father-in-law
maxverstappen1 answer them cause they're threatening to fly to Australia and they're going to take me with them
piastriduo she changed her username 🥺😭
y/nswife I can't be a child of divorce, it's too early
Third, Oscar would make a public appearance the day after. Some paparazzi had spotted him, making him fly the bird at the cameras. The McLaren driver quickly turned around and headed back to his car, wanting to now get home.
Except, Oscar wasn’t expecting to be jumped the moment he wanted to get out of the house for the weekend. You had decided to go out shopping, keeping your head low. He knew he should also have kept his head low. A hand reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into a random bookstore. He had half a mind to start yelling “stranger danger,” but these were no strangers.
“Lando, Max, Charles? What is this?”
Lando’s finger pressed into his chest, making him wince a bit. The Briton had anger in his eyes, along with Charles and Max also glaring.
Lando hissed, “This is an intervention. Why did you divorce Y/n? She was literally your life mate. You freakin’ muppet.”
Charles decided to put his piece in. “Did something happen? You two were so happy in Australia and Miami.”
“Or did she do something?” the Dutchman asked, making Oscar immediately shake his head. He looked down at the floor.
“We just decided that it wasn’t working any more. I’ve been too busy with racing and she got a new job here.”
Lando scoffed. “Utter bullshit, that’s what that is.”
Charles looked like a kicked puppy. “Mate. Is there no way to reconnect?”
Oscar crossed his arms, trying to seem more intimidating. “We fought and it’s over. She already gave me the papers and they’re signed. End of story.”
“Babe, you didn’t tell me that you were shopping here too! I found this new book . . . oh.”
Shit.
You blinked, looking at the three men who were cornering your husband. This was not in the 10-step plan. You were about to say something, but Lando quickly walked over to you. You expected some yelling, but he pulled you to the side. It was intense eye contact for a moment.
“Did Oscar cheat?”
“What?”
He gasped. “Did you cheat?”
You huffed. “Lando, no one cheated.”
The kid looked like a kicked puppy, even though he was older than you. He threw his hands up in the air, pretty exasperated.
“Why did you two get a divorce?”
The sheer volume of his voice made a few heads turn, making you wince a bit. You tugged his arm and pulled him back to the group of three. The Briton may have dragged his feet just a bit, only because he didn’t want to have this awkward conversation with you and his teammate.
You tilted your head just a bit. “Can we have this conversation somewhere else?”
They shrugged and followed you, even into the car since they had all walked. And instead of getting into the back seats of your SUV, Lando, Charles, and Max squished into the first row. Their eyes did widen when your hand clasped Oscar’s as you drove off.
Lando leaned over to Max and whispered pretty loudly, “Why are they holding hands?”
The Dutchman “whispered” back, “I don’t know. Maybe it’s some weird kink?”
You hit the brakes as you came to a stop light, making Lando and Max jolt. Charles sat still in his seat, already bracing himself since he wasn’t yapping. Well, at least not yet.
You took this moment to quickly turn around and stare at them, silently telling them to shut their mouths. Oscar bit back a smile as he heard Max and Lando suck in a breath. He sighed in relief as you pulled into the garage. Ever such a gentleman, he hopped out to run around and open your door.
He pressed a kiss against your cheek.
“This was your idea remember?” he muttered, guiding you into the house, the three other drivers silently following you.
You took your time to put your new books away before you went to sit on the couch. Oscar handed you a glass of water, which you thankfully took. You wanted to laugh as you watched Max, Charles, and Lando squirm.
“You have a very lovely house,” Charles mentioned, trying to break the silence. He was successful as you gave them a soft smile.
“Thank you, Charles. Oscar bought it for us after he signed with McLaren.”
Lando remembered the day that the Aussie had told him about the purchase. Oscar had been so excited to truly start your life with each other. The apartment that you two had before was getting small. But now, sitting in front of you when divorce was on the line, he truly wondered what all went wrong.
He clapped his hands, ending the conversation that you were having with Charles about paint colors.
Lando pointed at you and Oscar. “Enough. What is going on?”
You stifled a laugh before trying to clear the air. “Lando, there was never a real divorce. The gossip pages just ran with a rumor.”
Max butted in. “But the law firm, your Instagram post?”
Oscar reached over and took your hand in his. “You three know that we’re high school sweethearts, and before that, childhood friends.”
Lando looked confused. “And what does that have anything to do with this?”
“Mate,” Oscar started, “it has everything to do with it. Because we’ve been together since we were younger, there wasn’t time for normal teenager things like breakups or heart break.”
“So,” you added, “we,” Oscar gave you a look, “I thought it might be fun to pretend to get a divorce.”
No one said a word.
Lando then fell to his knees and kissed your carpet. “Thank God. I don’t think I could handle a sad Oscar every single weekend.”
You patted him on the shoulder. “I don’t think I’d ever want to live without him. And I couldn’t pass the opportunity to not travel around the world.”
Your husband gasped a bit while he put his hand on his heart. “You wound me woman. I knew you were with me for my money.”
You wiggled your eyebrows. “But of course, darling. What else would you be good for?”
Max put his head in his hands. “They’re made for each other. This is gross.”
You quickly stood from your couch. “Well, I think it’s time for dinner. Ossie?”
The man in question blushed at the nickname, while the other three cooed at them. He turned to give them a stink eye, effectively shutting them up.
As you started to get some pans out for dinner, you found yourself with a human backpack. Oscar pressed his face into your neck, sighing deeply. There weren’t many moments that the two of you got to be domestic like this. And it would have been romantic, except for Lando’s squealing as he looked around at the pictures on the wall.
“Osc, is this you in grade school? Where did the cheeks go, mate?”
“Lando, get away from the pictures.”
“But Osc, you were such a cute kid. What happened?”
“You happened.”
“Osc!”
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oscarpiastri she's mine for the rest of time ❤️
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ossie&n/n WAAAARRRR IISSSS OOOVVEERRRRR
y/nsworld I have never been more thankful for rumors
y/nl/n ossieeeee 🥺
y/nl/n I love youuuuuuu (you're never getting rid of meeee)
oscarpiastri I love you too (pls change your user back)
y/nl/n i have to wait 2 weeks (stupid instagram)
landonorris so glad to see you in the paddock 🙌
y/nl/n good to see you too loser
piastriupdates my parents ☺️
TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @myxticmoon @cherry-piee @blueberry64857959 @glitterquadricorn @lizzypiastri @sam-is-lost @spilled-coffee-cup @ilove-tswizzle @the-untamed-soul @allenajade-ite @starssfall @torchbearerkyle @judespoision @halfdeadsage @juniper-july19 @severewobblerlightdragon @thatgirlmj @gods-menace @ineedafictionalman @namgification @dark-night-sky-99 @samantha-chicago @2pagenumb @treehouse-mouse @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @kagatinkita @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @awekbachira @vellicora @skepvids @sunrizef1 @stan-josie @fanficweasley @hiireadstuff @barcelonaloverf1life @c-losur3 @graciewrote @bruhhhhhhhhehhhhhhh @tallrock35 @ashy-kit @kat-s2 @minkyungseokie @lozzamez3 @leslieis-crying @adventuresofrose @lighttsoutlewis
#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri fanfic#formula one imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula one fanfiction#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#Oscar piastri x wife!reader#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one x y/n#formula one x you#formula one x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x y/n#reverse trope#divorce of convenience
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into the arms of another part three | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x reader
part one part two masterlist tips
yourusername
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tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: working up a storm and flirting up a frenzy
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user3: SHE'S BACK
user4: that month she was gone was dragging
user5: i almost forget she has a job lol there's always so much drama i forgot girly was getting the bag
danielricciardo: oh what a lovely picture of you two being gross at dinner i wonder who took it
yourusername: it's this lovely gentleman, i'll have to introduce you. he's quite loud, very charming and should consider going into theatre with his vocal projection
danielricciardo: you think i'm ready for the stage?
maxverstappen1: i think we all think you're ready for the stage
user6: wait so do you think daniel, heidi, y/n and max go on double dates? that's so cute
user7: sometimes i hurt myself by thinking it could've been a triple date if charles wasn't such as ass
maxverstappen1: when she's a triple threat 😍
yourusername: but i can't sing, dance or act?
maxverstappen1: but you are smart, beautiful and can put up with me :)
yourusername: you act like being with you is a chore maxy :( i'd spend all my waking moments with you if i could
landonorris: i'm sending these ^^ comments to my therapist, you guys make me feel so lonely
maxverstappen1: sorry dude
yourusername: lando !! let us play matchmaker ??
landonorris: i'll let you play matchmaker just don't let max have too much input
maxverstappen1: why not i clearly have good taste?
user8: anyone else wondering whether y/n and charles actually spoke after he was seen outside her building?
user9: i was thinking about that too ... i'm guessing they either didn't or it didn't go well by the fact that he's no where to be seen here
maxverstappen1
liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,203,500 others
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maxverstappen1: new weekend, new helmet. this one was designed by the love of my life who put her architecture degree to good use to make me this beautiful lid. love you y/n hope to bring you a trophy back in return 🧡
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user13: max being the resident grid sweetheart was not on my 2023 bingo card
yourusername: no worries max, it was an absolute honour to design a helmet for you.
maxverstappen1: it's an honour to wear something designed by you
yourusername: call me the adrian newey of helmet design
maxverstappen1: that's a big shout, that i'm inclined to believe
redbullracing: adrian gives his stamp of approval y/n !
user14: i swear in an older charles vlog y/n spoke about how she always wanted to design a helmet for him :( i'm glad she finally got to do it
user15: no shade but at least this helmet might actually win the race lol
danielricciardo: cute lid, is y/n open for commission?
maxverstappen1: nope she's mine and mine only (unless you're paying)
yourusername: what he said
user16: i just know charles is screaming, crying and throwing up rn
user17: probably not, people stop being friends all the time, he's got more than one friend and is a millionaire, he's living his best life
user16: his track record says otherwise, he's extremely petty, he probably can't handle that max and y/n don't care about him anymore
user18: tbf from what we saw charles was looking to reconcile, it's more y/n who has been unreasonable
user19: i think she's well within her rights to refuse forgiveness and from reports charles never apologised, this has been a pattern of behaviour for years now. she deserved better, she's now got better
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user20: i love that max likes all the shady comments about the situation cause i know y/n would never
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc: always make time for your real friends.
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user21: if there's one thing men will have, it's the audacity
user22: well this is an interesting response
user23: are we meant to clap?
arthurleclerc: what happened to the plan?
charles_leclerc: than plan failed in the minute she closed the door in my face
arthurleclerc: call me, but also stop making excuses
user24: yes it is logical to do this offline arthur, but consider this, i want to read the drama
user25: but at this point how is it drama? it's just charles being stubborn. y/n gave him a full explanation and by the look of it he didn't do a very good job with it
user26: the thing is i honestly believe that however bad the apology would be y/n would still forgive him. they've been friends for so long i think she honestly wants it to work out but shit like this does not help his case
carlossainz55: mate i am so confused
charles_leclerc: what's so confusing? she can say that this has led to her finding "the real thing" but i can't?
carlossainz55: but if you wanted to reconcile, you look like an asshole
charles_leclerc: fine, make me the bad guy like everyone else
user27: charles is really in his whiny boy era lord
user28: all i know is that y/n and max are probably at home having the laugh of their lives
f1wagsupdates
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f1wagupdates: y/n y/ln was in the red bull garage this weekend with verstappen's family. max won this race wearing the helmet she designed for him.
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user31: they are the cutest couple on the grid, perhaps of all time
user32: they're defo on the way to that, if they get married could defo grab best couple of all time
user33: the way she still stopped at ferrari to talk to arthur and wish him and charles luck ... clearly there's a bigger person here
user34: y/n is already so close to the verstappens, her and sophie and victoria were together all weekend.
user35: my friend had a paddock pass and overheard sophie asking y/n when she'll be giving her more grandkids
user36: OMG WHAT? what did y/n say?
user35: that she'd have to be mrs. verstappen first
user37: do not play with me right now if we get the charles and y/n friend breakup and y/n and max engagement all in one season my brain may explode
user38: if max weren't winning every race anyway i'd defo say that this is the lucky helmet
user39: i mean grand slams aren't that common, so maybe it is
user40: max win and charles disasterclass, the best weekend possible for y/n
user41: i don't think she actually wants charles to do badly though, she wouldn't have wished him luck..
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1: i've won a lot of races this year but my biggest win of all was your heart. here's to forever together ❤️
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user42: i think i just saw charles drop to his knees in monaco
user43: i mean they can still be friends? there was never any romantic feelings he's just being weird about being in the wrong and it being max
danielricciardo: i'm so so happy for you guys, you deserve this so much. all the happiness to you, i shall assume my position as best man effective immediately
maxverstappen1: bit forward to assume that you're best man mate
danielricciardo: wait, i'm not best man ?
maxverstappen1: i joke, you are, of course, the best man and i can't think of a better man for the job
yourusername: just don't go too crazy with the stag night, i've heard about your nights out back in the day (seen the videos too)
danielricciardo: i don't know what you're talking about, we'll have a boys night in, a round of uno and he'll be ready at the altar right on time
user44: why am i actually so happy for people i don't even know
yourusername: i can't think of a better way to spend the rest of my life, red bull drive babysitter and cat mama
maxverstappen1: i think jimmy and sassy might just be as excited as me (maybe)
yourusername: i know i can tell by all the holes in my shoes
maxverstappen1: we all have our ways of showing love, some bites holes in shoes, some like to follow you everywhere
landonorris: the way max could be either one
maxverstappen1: ummm i'm trying to be romantic stop accusing me of biting my fiancee's shoes
yourusername: don't worry maxy, i'd still marry you even if you bite my shoes
user45: this is an amazing thing and not to bring the mood down, but do we think y/n will invite charles to the wedding?
user46: max could as well, they are friends, even if charles is trying to use their rivalry as a 'reason' to be angry at this relationship
yourusername
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yourusername: i am lost for words. i never knew i could love someone as much as i love you, and it is my biggest honour to spend the rest of my life with you.
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user47: she has really won at life i'm so happy for her
user48: who knew being ditched in corsica would be so good for a girl
liked by yourusername
maxverstappen1: i love you more than you could ever know, couldn't think of a better mrs. verstappen-y/ln
yourusername: i can't wait to have matching last names
user49: wait is max also going to take y/n's name?
maxverstappen1: yep and couldn't be prouder to have her name
yourusername: awww maxy i love you
user50: so... did charles get an invite?
charles_leclerc: no. so much for moving forward.
yourusername: i won't let you ruin this announcement for me. let the postal service do their job. please get your shit together before you rsvp or fuck off, i have no problem burning that invite.
user51: oof.
landonorris: congrats guys, do me and daniel get a prize for listening to the years of pining that led to this
yourusername: you can get a gold star?
landonorris: make it solid gold and done.
yourusername: girl.
maxverstappen1: if red bull ask whether we drank on this getaway say no
yourusername: we defo didn't spray champagne like we were on a podium and then eat our weight in pasta
maxverstappen1: i had to celebrate my girl :)
note: hiiiii, i know this was highly, highly requested and i hope this has met expectations. i've had real bad writers block and some shit going on in my personal life, so i'm not the happiest with this but could see another part if i get enough ideas lol. thanks for reading <3
#f1#f1 x you#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#max verstappen x you#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen instagram au#max verstappen
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yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."
i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.
the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.
mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.
later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.
sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.
but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.
i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.
every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.
wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?
the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:
he wants to say i love you
but keeps it to goodnight
because love will take some falling
and she's afraid of heights.
every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.
mahler's fifth still makes me sick.
give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.
give me back what you took from me.
#nosebleed club#sorry stephen not ur fault#just like. thinking#writeblr#spilled ink#warm up#every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u#im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn#so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it#or you're going to BE mean#or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again?#and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u#lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner#literally changed the shape of my life
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𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕕
(Astrology Observations)
~ I wanna get wild with you
Loca contigo hoy ~
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🐯 - Taurus Risings/Sun/Moon, these natives have it good when it comes to spending their own monies, they'll always spend it on things that make them happy, spoil yourself queen/king!!
🐯 - Libra Placements especially Sun/Moon/Venus/Chiron/Ascendant can fall under the "people pleaser" energy because their literal energy is "to unite people", they need to think at themselves for a bit too
🐯 - Scorpio/Pisces/Libra/Taurus/Capricorn Moons aspecting Pluto have an romantic dark energy, their energy is lovely but when is aspecting Pluto it can transform into "dark romance"
🐯 - Gemini Moons (Moon at 3°. 15° 27°) degrees, these natives have such a sweet voice 🤭, their laughter is infectious!! Always the loudest people in the room
🐯 - You want someone to cheer you up when you feel bad? Search for a Sagittarius Mercury, I swear they gonna cheer you up with their good humour too, crying and laughing in the same time 😭
🐯 - Aries/Cancer and Virgo Moons can get quite defensive when they're in a conflict, and is that they won't pick sides and will stay on their own terms. Period
🐯 - Moon in the 9th/12th house, babe I know your path in this world is to be spiritual/to connect with the universe/god but try to enjoy life in the same way as well, don't focus only on these
🐯 - Sun or Moon conjunct/opposite/square Lilith , their rebellious nature can easily get criticized by others that's why you need to be yourself and to know yourself more than everyone, in this way you don't give a shit about their criticism
🐯 - Leo Moons/Venus/Risings, they can be really outgoing when you start to know them better, these natives know how to enjoy life 100%
🐯 - Sun/Leo in your 5th/7th or in 8th house, these natives know how to make sure their partner is taken, they'll talk about their partners to everyone
🐯 - Jupiter square/opposite/conjunct Lilith, can make someone to have a high libido, a high sexual drive, someone attractive yet very sexual
🐯 - Asteroid Vesta (4) can aslo tell about how you want to have your first sex experience (1st time sex)
Vesta in Air Signs > They want to communicate during the first act, to have a good time together, try to communicate with them and let them know e everything is gonna alright
Vesta in Earth Signs > They want to feel safe/secured during the first act, make them feel safe/like at home, they enjoy soft kisses/touch
Vesta in Fire Signs > They want to have full passion, want feel satisfied to 100%,they want to be seduced at the first act, they can act crazy but they're just enjoying it
Vesta in Water Signs > During the first act these natives want to feel close to their partners, emotional and physical, they want to feel attached and loved in the same time during the first act
🐯 - The 9th house not only represents the ancestors but it is all that you are going to receive in your current life because of the actions from your past lives (look for the 9H sign)
🐯 - Uranus in the 7th house can predict an unconventional or unpredictable marriage/spouse/relationship. Someone you thought you wouldn't be in a relationship with!
🐯 - Venus in the 11th house natives can end up dating their friends, friends to lovers or sometimes enemies to lovers kind of thing if Venus is aspecting Pluto or Saturn
─────────────────────
I wanna get wild with you
─────────────────────
🐯 - Lilith harshly aspecting Sun/Moon/Ascendant or Chiron can feel like everyone is judging or criticizing them, this placement can be draining sometimes
🐯 - Moon sextile or trine Pluto gives an intense emotional nature to the native, they can feel things more deep than others. They can be exposed to their feelings around family or partners
🐯 - Sagittarius in your 12H/8H/ or in your 4H can indicate a mix of backgrounds when it comes to ethnicity/nationality/ancestors
🐯 - Jupiter/Sagittarius in the 8th house are lucky when it comes to sex life/money (esp other people's money) and legacy/inheritance
🐯 - Pisces Uranus Generation energy can fight with energy attacks from other people, is like bad people come in your safe space and take your energy, protect yourself!!
🐯 - Saturn at 0 degrees is considered a critical degree in astrology. It symbolizes a point of intense energy and potential. This position marks the beginning of a new cycle, offering opportunities for growth and evolution for native (I feel it 😭)
🐯 - Aries Venus/Lilith/Mars duro duro duro, they take everything as a competition and they want to win 10/10, they're so bold so hot in the same time
🐯 - Mars aspecting Lilith (h12) or (h13) can make men specifically defensive towards you if you reject them or like if you give signs you're not interested, they get mad 🙄 they be acting like we are the last humans on earth ..
🐯 - Libra or Leo ASC in your solar return chart can indicate a lot of focus on yourself that year, nurture yourself to the 100%. There is a possibility to enter in a relationship as well
🐯 - Scorpio Venus / Venus in 8 H everything is fun til they met toxic people, esp toxic partners, those people can ruin you and we don't that in our energy. as my friend says "Never be afraid to hit that block button"
🐯 - Aquarius Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus, what they won't tell you about these is how sacrificial and humanitarian these people are, they love helping and often can sacrifice themselves for others
🐯 - A very heavy Neptune in your chart, can show addiction/dependency go to sort of things in life, these addictions can be from everything
🐯 - Mercury in the 5th / Gemini in the 5H can show multiple talents/being attracted to multiple things at once
🐯 - Heavy Air Elements in your chart can make you attracted to music 🎵 🎶 sounds / your ears and sense of hearing can be highly evolved
🐯 - Pluto aspecting the ascendant/midheaven gives villain arc vibes, like the person can have a bad "reputation" possibly coming from other people hate, but they're generally villainized for nothing
──────────────────────
No lo puedo negar, en mis sueños estás
Este juego me vuelve a atrapar
─────────────────────
🐯 - Juno aspecting Saturn, the native can definitely be looking for someone mature/long relationship (Juno at 10°. 22° too)
🐯 - Neptune conjunct Juno in the birth chart natives, you may feel spiritually and psychically connected to your partner or crave a spiritually connected relationship. You can lose yourself in the pursuit of a marriage or partnership and you may project your ideals and hopes onto a partner and then try to make your dreams and illusions real.
🐯 - Juno in the 12th house or Pisces (12°, 24°) can end up in karmic relationship field, the karma chose the people to teach in this life I guess, sometimes It can turn up for your partner to be an enemy too (enemy to lovers. NOT romanticizing this 😭😭)
🐯 - Cancer or Moon in the 2nd house in someone's birth chart can indicate they love their mom's cooking/food prepared by mom
🐯 - Mars in Sagittarius/ in the 9H (9° 21°) these natives are so cute when they try to talking ew language, especially their accent, 100/10...
🐯 - Venus aspecting Mercury/Sun/Moon natives need to wear jewelery more often like, c'mon a ring here, a necklace there. Your skin shines when you wear necklace babes 💅🏼💅🏼 (tested and approved)
🐯 - Mars aspecting Mercury or those planets in the same house can make the native to talk in a more harsh way than others, they can also talk very fast in the same time
🐯 - When someone has their 9th house sign the same as your sun or moon sign, you can learn a lot things from eachother ex: Y has Scorpio in their 9th house and you're a Scorpio Sun
🐯 - Gemini Venus (Venus at 3°, 15°, 27° degrees), Possibly one of the most social places for Venus, they love flirting at every chance they have, and they're so funny to have around idk their vibe is amazing
Harmoonix 🧡🧡🧡🧡
#astrology#astro observations#birth chart#astro notes#astrology observations#placements#astro community#horoscope#venus#astro.com#astro seek#astrofyp#fyp2023#astrology fyp
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Sometimes people tell me I'm a good person. I'm not a good person by nature, or by default. I'm a good person because I've decided that it's important to me to act like one, on a daily basis, forever.
My actual nature is that I want power. I want power and I want my life to be easy and I want other people to be forced to be nice to me even if they hate me. I want other people to have to suck up to me, I want to watch people who I know hate me suffer through the indignity of having to suck up to me. I want to hurt people who hurt me. I want all of these things in the same exact deeply recognizable way that a gorilla or a chimpanzee does. I watch those documentaries and I recognize myself, intimately. The fact that I can behave like a good person in spite of that has taken me a long time and a lot of effort to achieve.
What you feel isn't as important for your "goodness" as what you do. And you get good at what you practice. So practice your skills at being polite, pleasant, kind. Practice gently interrupting negative behaviors--whether that's someone's negative behaviors directed towards themselves, or directed towards someone else. The idea that we have to be inherently without sin is such Christian garbage. It's psychological gibberish. We want things! We want everything! That is normal and human and the key is not acting on every bad feeling you have.
I have taken my insatiable desire for power and to manipulate people and I have used it for good. I have learned how to manipulate people into coming to the doctor and taking their blood pressure medication and being honest about their recreational substance use. I have taken my psychology education and I have used it to craft a persona that makes people feel at ease. I go home at the end of the day exhausted, because maintaining a persona for ten hours straight is exhausting, but I do it happy, because I manipulated the people I work with into feeling better and having brighter days. I manipulated my patients into feeling good about their achievements and recognizing where we need to do things differently.
The hard part is that when the mask slips, people find it not just off-putting but deeply upsetting. When I explain things like "I have thought very carefully about how I would conduct a career in domestic terrorism because I would genuinely like to bomb the headquarters of most American insurance companies, but I don't see a way to do it without getting caught and either killed or spending the rest of my life in prison, and at the moment I consider that an unacceptable outcome," people go from "ha ha! my wacky colleague" to "Jesus Christ, I didn't realize there was something actually wrong with you."
Anyway, don't make your kids read the extended works on Machiavelli at twelve, my dad thought he was helping me but all he accomplished was making me sad I'll never be a king.
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#lemme just complain here for a sec#and if you see this and know me irl no you don’t#why can’t people just keep fucking plans???? if you say you’re gonna do something with someone then fucking do it#like I’m putting aside stuff that I could be doing just so that I can spend time with people#and then they go and don’t respond to messages and then last minute be like ‘I don’t think I’m free anymore sorry’#like you better have a damn good reason for canceling something last minute like that#sometimes I feel like such an outlier when literally all I do is keep my goddamn plans that I made????#and I don’t double book myself or ditch things if a better opportunity comes up?????#that’s literally common courtesy but it feels like no one else does that shit except me#it’s a fucking commitment that you’re making when you say you want to do something with someone#we’re all adults here we have fucking jobs and a life and shit#making plans is a real thing#it’s not like you’ll just see each other after school or whatever it’s genuinely difficult to find time to spend with people#so then why do some people throw that away?#literally don’t make the plans to begin with if you don’t wanna do something!!!!#don’t get someone’s hopes up like that!!!!!#it’s just so rude and it’s stressing me out and pissing me off
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HEADCANONS & love and deepspace boys♡
warning : f!reader, just pure fluff, anyone can read. ☆
words count : 2652.
characters : rafayel, zayne, xavier, caleb.
stefie : hi! sorry if i have mistakes : ( hope u like it!
rafayel !
the most playful little guy in the world! will literally do anything you want just to see your wonderful smile and hear your beautiful laugh! he is truly willing to go to great lengths, it makes no difference to him what exactly.
he will stare at you all the time, just because he likes it so much and you can't do anything about it, he is fascinated by you and he wants to watch your beauty at any moment. you are the truest angel for him, how should he get away from you? that's right, he doesn't.
he loves to stroke your cheeks with the pad of his thumb and look into your gaze, he tries to find something there but love and care for him.
like a ritual for a happy day - kissing your eyes and pressing his nose against yours and trying to make your breathing the same.
the boy literally wants to become one with you. to become your heart, air and soul (in the best and most adequate sense). and he doesn't want to let you go anywhere else, rafael is afraid that someday you might find someone better, though he guffaws about it, but will you find someone more perfect than him? no.
he's a very gentle kisser! he has such soft lips that you just want to kiss every second, and he can't help himself when he sees you and immediately tries to snuggle up to your sweet lips, makes a very hurt look if you don't kiss him, makes his trademark pouty face and waits for your apology. he's such a meow.
but also, he loves to cuddle! i'm sure that he is very warm and can warm you up at any moment if you ask, and you don't have to ask, he will realize it himself! because he is sticking to you 25/8 to share this warm energy and his love with you, gently stroking you with his palm and leaving air kisses all over your body, you will not be able to resist him 110%.
he likes to just lie next to you and talk about anything or be silent, rafayel doesn't care, the main thing is that you are close and safe next to him.
i think he gets jealous sometimes. you are his treasure and his most important love, he trusts you all his life, but raf can't trust other men when they look at you as their prey. He'd rather spend the night in the police station than let one of those idiots touch you, i mean it.
if you sleep next to him, there's a 100% chance rafael is sleeping on top of you, and you're trying to get out of his grip and he's squeezing harder.
he will never raise his voice at you, and if he does, it will be by accident. he'll be on his knees begging you to forgive him and not leave him. will apologize for another ten years to let you know that he's really sorry and he'll never do it again, because he loves you infinitely more.
you're his biggest muse and his only muse. he'll make an exhibition of paintings with only you in them. you. rafayel wants people to know who helped him achieve such a beautiful inspiration, he tried as hard as he could, he painted his paintings daily and didn't miss a single second, he spent a lot of time but it was worth it, because you were crazy about the paintings! smiled, laughed and cried so hard with love for him, it broke rafayel's heart. this is his number one exhibition and the one where he captured his life, his air and his one and only love.
his love languages are spending time together and physical contact! he wants to hold you close and not let you go, kiss or touch you in every way possible, warm you and love you with his love and he is endlessly happy when you spend time with him like this, play with his hair and draw with him, raf will be over the moon!
will call you baby and his love absolutely always! because it's true. once you get into a relationship, he'll already use nicknames, he doesn't care, you're his favorite and that's it. 💅
zayne !
zayne is the most protective type of guy! he always wants to know that you're okay and you don't have any problems, and if you do, please tell him and he'll drop everything to rush over to you and protect you, help you and make you happy. it might have something to do with his profession, but either way, zayne just loves you beyond belief and wouldn't get over the moment if something happened to you.
already he wants to live together with you and come to your house, hugging you around the waist and kissing your shoulder. he wants to feel your warmth and let go of all the problems, bad moods and anger just by being near you and inhaling your scent.
he doesn't care if you work or not, he will pay for you everywhere and that's the truth! zayne wants to give you everything in this world, to make you happy and look at things while remembering your favorite guy, it will warm zayne's heart more than anything!
the most gentle and careful boy! sweetly holding your waist and stroking you a little while he listens with a smile on his face as you tell him something, he is so in love with you :( this may sound selfish, but zayne doesn't care who you are sitting with, he only wants to listen to you and look at you.
he has the most wonderful kisses. zayne kisses you with all the passion he has set aside for such a wonderful and intimate moment between you, he takes his time with you. gently he settles his hands on your cheeks and brushes his hands against your plump lips, savoring such a wonderful taste of love between you, trying to pull away every now and then so you can breathe a little, but he just can't, he wants to kiss you every second and never let go of those beautiful lips. will probably bite you a little if he's in a playful mood so he can kiss those spots on your lips afterward. 🫢
if we're talking about cuddling, it's one of zayne's favorite things to do. as much as he loves kissing you, feeling your warmth is so much more important to him. he can feel your pulse beating out his name and he smiles like a cat. just feeling you near gives him the best hope in the world and the fact that he's willing to fight every day just to keep you warm.
if you sleep next to him, zayne holds you very gently and sniffles softly in your ears. only with you can he sleep so soundly that he probably won't hear alarm clocks, he'll be late, but he'll kiss you and tell you how glad he is to have you in his life.
he'll text you throughout the day to see how you're feeling and if you want to visit him, and if zayne is more or less free, he'll have lunch with you!
he's not the jealous type. zaynehas confidence in you and in the fact that you'll never hurt him - that's enough. and if anyone starts thinking he has a chance with you, clearly he'll fly off to another galaxy.
he might come in upset from work sometimes and start ignoring you, just because he doesn't want to snap and say rude words in your direction, because he knows you don't deserve that. Kiss him on the forehead and tell him how much you love him - zayne will definitely cry and lay on your chest while you gently stroke his hair. he's such a baby.
his love languages are words and actions! i'm 100% sure of it. zayne shows his love for you through actions and doesn't mind telling the world about his endless love for just you. ( he's already planning to marry you and picking out a ring, hehe.)
will call you angel and baby! the cutest nicknames and only for you. he calls you that everywhere he goes and doesn't care about the stares of the people around him. you have the sweetest love! 🥺
xavier !
the smallest baby of all! literally the embodiment of love, sunshine and all that is purest. xavier has the most tender feelings for you, which he kept especially for you, protecting them from stares and dirty hands, just so you could see what a beautiful love he has for you.
i also think he's one of the most romantic guys. He thinks out every date so that you will definitely like it, makes a plan and then goes to you to ask for your opinion, the only one he will listen to. 🫢
but also, he'll also be happy to just sit at home with you, talking about different topics and cuddling until the wee hours of the morning on the couch while some movie is playing in the background. xavier will look at you with a look full of love, you lit a spark in him and only thanks to you it is always with him.
despite the fact that xavier seems too sweet and kind, he also has his dark side as a hunter, he will not be afraid to stand up for you at any moment, no matter what they do to him - he doesn't care. after all, you trusted him and trusted your heart, now he will always protect you from the evil in this world. you deserve nothing but heaven and all the beautiful things in it.
i would say xavier is the type of guy who loves hugs much more than kisses, just feeling your heartbeat and breathing - makes him happier than ever. him holding you close and stroking you with his palm while his other hand goes through your hair is something much more than just love, it's a special intimacy, keep it.
speaking of kissing though, xavier loves kissing your cheeks and hands! his most favorite places and the ones he once kissed for the first time, they are precious to him and so he dare not leave them without his special love. his lips are VERY soft, even too soft! the ones you want to kiss every second of the day. 😭 before nestling his lips on yours, xavier runs his finger along your cheeks and is sure to whisper sweet words, im sure!
i think he's jealous, sometimes too jealous. he's just afraid you'll leave him or find someone better. ☹️ seriously, the boy is ready to fight for you with anyone, just so you can feel his endless love. but don't worry, he will never blame you or fight with you, xavier is beyond that, he will just get over it and come running to you for a cuddle afterward!
and based on that, xavier is not a fan of fighting, just like the rest of the guys. he is a sweet baby and wants you to have a loving relationship with him and no aggression.
xavier loves to sleep next to you, because it's so peaceful and he knows that you are absolutely fine. covering you with his warm blanket and pulling you even closer to him! trying to put you together like a puzzle and kisses you softly behind your ear and then kisses your neck to let you know that xavier is there for you and always will be.
he will cook for you! even if he doesn't know how to cook, he will learn how to cook so that he can delight you every day with his masterpieces and see your smile after his incredibly tasty dishes.
like i said before, xavier is the most tactile baby of all, so his primary love language is physical contact! he loves snuggling with you, he loves cuddling, he loves stroking you, he loves when you sit on his lap, he loves when you braid his hair, he is just crazy about the way your bodies interact and the warmth you give each other. and another love language is support! you are his best and most loyal friend, he will trust you with all his secrets and more. xavier also wants to be your source of energy for the whole day, support you when you are in a bad mood and want to cry, or when you want to be alone, but he will still check in on you from time to time to make sure you are okay.
calling you all kinds of cute nicknames! he has no favorites, to him you are a baby, toddler, baby girl, little girl, princess, kitten, bear and everything in between. he is too sweet and wants you to know how beautiful you are in his eyes and what a gorgeous girl you are!
caleb !
my baby caleb! the most favorite of all and the one I myself would do anything for and protect him from any evil. 🥺 he has got all types of softie guys in him and is loving, and protective, and sweet, and hot! he is literally everything, i can say you won the lottery if you accepted his love, because caleb will give you the ultimate paradise with soft clouds, heartfelt confessions and with your most favorite fruits! my boy is the most loving and so he will do the best for his angel.
plus, he is the ultimate jokester! when caleb is around you, he always tries to make a joke somehow to make you smile sunny and then tickle you and hear your laughter that will make caleb himself laugh to tears.
caleb just walks up to you and rests his head on top of yours and follows you around like a lost child. 😭 i swear, if you walk downtown together, he'll probably cling to you so he doesn't lose sight of you (he's afraid of losing you.)
he also loves to eat and so he always wants to take you to different places he likes and treat you to something yummy for how well you did! (even if you didn't do anything.)
he's not jealous at all because he's confident in your relationship and won't let anyone ruin it. your harmony and your love is far above anything in his life, he is ready to keep it in his soul forever and even in death he will love you with his tender love. even if caleb notices someone trying to hit on you, he knows that person will get nothing, because you are only loyal to your gorgeous boyfriend and no one else. he will also make sure to stand up for you and tell the person to go elsewhere and leave you alone.
will introduce you to his grandmother without fail! he loves you both dearly and is confident that you will get along and find common ground, making caleb the happiest guy on this planet!
and how he loves to kiss you! very hard, but at the same time too tender! for caleb, all of you, beautiful and wonderful, all the parts of your body that he wants to kiss and give all his love! he presses his palms to your face and gazes into your eyes, mentally asking for your permission and only then does he kiss you, not allowing you to inhale and continuing to kiss you as his hands travel up and down your body. it's like you're the only thing alive to him in this world, and even though you are. 🫢
he has the tightest hugs and that's a fact. a hug that brings you back to the brightest place and protects you from every evil in this world while caleb quietly sings your favorite song to you, bringing tears to your eyes. he loves cuddling on your bed where he immediately and falls asleep on your chest.
he loves sleeping with you and waking up with you, as he feels your breath on his skin and smiles again, kissing your face and thinking he wants to wake up like that for the rest of his life. most likely he will sleep on top of you. 🫠 but no one minds because caleb is very warm and will replace any blanket for you!
never quarrels with you and doesn't care what others say. he listens to you and takes your side and then is completely calm to make his point. caleb cherishes you incredibly much and doesn't want to fight about anything, it's useless and too sad, and our baby boy always wants to make you happy.
so, love languages, what are his? most likely the most standard set of love: words, actions, support, and time together. that's what makes caleb happy and you don't have to pick one thing. he speaks many words of love that are absolutely true. always hugs you and kisses you at every moment to see the dimples on your cheeks. supports you in your toughest moments, tears you up when you're sad. and to top it all off, spends almost all of his time with you and wants to capture all the highlights of your life.
he calls you his baby girl and princess! after all, you deserve it. let's just say he's been calling you nicknames since day one of your relationship, he doesn't care. 😭 caleb loves it when you get embarrassed and try to look away, but he catches your chin with his finger and turns you around for a kiss gently purring "baby girl."
#— [ stefie ] 💘🫧🔮#love and deepspace#love and deepspace fluff#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace zayne#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#caleb love and deepspace#love and deepspace caleb#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#caleb x reader
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Look. A little advice.
Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.
You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.
This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.
But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'
You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)
The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'
That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:
Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.
Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.
If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.
Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.
Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.
You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.
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