Gender should never be the reason why you believe or not believe someone 

desperately need people to understand that alicent is a victim but she’s also an abuser and a perpetrator

that she actively makes choices to harm other women because of jealousy and envy and the greed deep in her bones because submitting to suffering didn’t get her what those women fight to grasp for themselves.

she is absolutely a victim, in show.

that doesn’t change that she abused rhaenyra and her children, her own son, most likely helaena given how she flinches every time her mother touches her, and is actively weaponizing the patriarchy of westeros against other women- rhaenyra primarily, but also mysaria and dyana.

she isn’t the moral, righteous force of good that even she thinks she is, she’s a wounded woman directing all of the rot, pain, and fury inside her at the wrong people and forces.

This is a very very unfinished thought but I've been thinking a lot as I reread the books about how the women of House of the Dragon don't really get catharsis and how that'll likely be worse in S2. Say what you want about asoiaf but a number of named women there experience catharsis.

They kill their abusers (Lysa, Cersei, Dany). They regain some agency after a violation (Lysa, Cersei, Lady Stoneheart, Dany), and they refuse to forgive the people complicit in their subjugation (Lysa, Cersei, Dany, Lady Stoneheart, Jeyne Westerling).

Obviously, three or four isn't enough in such an expansive cast of characters but the point remains that they claw back their autonomy however they have to. They're allowed to be angry, bitter, unforgiving and cruel to their abusers in a way women in House of the Dragon just aren't allowed. They're allowed grief, grief that is violent and destructive.

The women of House of the Dragon don't get angry. They stand around and stare plaintively at the camera, they cry prettily, and they plead for peace and non-violence. They suffer and suffer and suffer and there's no relief.

I don’t hate sex work because I hate sex workers. I hate sex work because I hate the Johns who dangle money in front of them. I hope that helps. ❤️❤️❤️

I watched Shubble's vod talking about abuse a few days ago and she said something that stuck with me. She told a story where her abuser bit her really hard in front of their friends. She yelped in pain and they laughed.

Men, when we see our friends make jokes about hurting women, don't laugh. Make it uncomfortable. It's not funny. This isn't a joke. You may not think your brothers and friends are abusers, but it doesn't mean that any of this is funny.

I'm certain their friends didn't think there was anything going on behind the scenes, but they should have. I could never even imagine joking about bringing harm to my partner. I'm sure most of them couldn't either. We need to stay vigilant and critical of the ways we carry ourselves around others. What does our laughter signal to the women around us?

My brothers, hurting women is not a joke. Don't laugh.

something that’s really frustrating about this topic in particular is that it is very complex and requires both nuance and critical thinking however because it’s currently taking place in the content creation world, the only people talking about it are content creators who love the sound of their own voice rather than being an impactful part of the conversation

"Trans men/transmascs aren't hated for being men/masculine we're/they're only hated for being trans"

Tell that to literally any trans man, or even transmasc individual, who has lost numerous friends during their transition because they became "too much of a man/too masculine".

Tell that to any trans man or transmasc who has been asked and berrated with questions and comments such as "why would you EVER want/choose to be a man" "how could you do this to us?" "Well as long as you don't act like/become too much of a man." "You're not going on T, though, are you?" and plenty more

Tell that to any trans man or transmasc who has been pushed out of entire support groups and communities, even if they have been there for YEARS, because they're no longer a woman

Tell that to any trans man or transmasc who have been labeled as a traitor to women and woman/sisterhood for being a man/masculine

Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who have been deemed dangerous and thus shunned, threatened, or even assaulted all because they're men now "and they should expect and accept it"

To the trans men and transmascs who have been assaulted in ways to try and "fix us" and turn us "back into women/lesbians"

Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who are labeled as the killers of parents sweet precious cis daughters or stealer of irreplaceable invaluavle lesbians or a poor unfortunate victim of being groomed by the Big Scary Trans Genders

Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who have been denied crucial, sometimes life-saving and/or life-altering health and medical care all because their gender marker has been changed to an M.

Tell that to the trans men who get told we're the ones responsible misogyny being systematic - that we just want to have it "easier" and surely can no longer be feminists because we "chose being an evil, oppressive (trans) man over being a soft, holy (cis) woman"

Tell them that all of the losses of their social connections and supports, the grimaces and sneers people have as their transition goes "too far". Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who have been deemed as predatory, potentially dangerous, in need of "saving", and so much more. Tell it to the trans men and transmascs who go through constant silencing, scrutiny, erasure and gatekeeping. Tell them that all of the pain, grief, loneliness, isolation, harassment, abuse and MORE that they have experienced ISN'T because they're a man or masculine, but because they're "just" trans. Even when, during all of these horrific moments in their life, the people inflicting this violence against them held nothing but contempt for them choosing to be a man. For trying to parade around as a man, when clearly they're just some poor delusional cis woman.

Tell them, because clearly you know everything and exactly how all of this works and how everyone's lived experiences have gone. Because you apparently know everything more than anyone else.

Mav at any formal Military event: My husband may be called Iceman, but he’s actually not that ice-cold or aggressive. He’s just being a good wingman 😊.

The Husband in question:

The Others at Any Formal Military Event: Ice - Rooster

Honestly I think it would do us all well to go back to kinda cringy feminism again for a little bit idk cause I think maybe for some people the discourse somehow circled back around to supporting sexism just rebranded or whatever so its more aesthetic

elvis presley stans feel like johnny depp stans tbh

(terfs and radfems fuck off from this post btw)

@punkeropercyjackson @weirdo09 @thisismisogynoir

You know why it’s important to to make sure we talk about female abusers?

Note: this not something that only happens with female x male violence but it’s something worth mentioning 

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It can be difficult for male victims to start healing form what they’ve gone through if they don’t recognize that it was abuse, that it was assault or rape. It’s something we should be talking about more so they can realize that what happened to them shouldn’t have happened. 

A lot of times for people in general, if something (abuse, assault, rape) happens to them, they’ll try to rationalize it (oh, they didn’t mean for it to be like that) or they start blaming themselves when it wasn’t even their fault. 

We’ve got to do more in order to help male victims and that starts with getting conversations started 

there is a specific type of pickme white woman that will twist anything and everything to use it to chastise victims of abuse. this is a comment on a post about jordan neely and people implicitly justifying his murder by labelling him as mentally ill. this has nothing to do with women who are abused by men and call the police or suggest his mental state contributed to his violence. what the fuck is wrong with you?

yeah uh i wish it was not so funny to my mother how she uses the legal system to fuck over my dad in wildly racist/islamophobic/xenophobic ways. yeah its so cool how your bullshit with him got his passport pulled when he tried to go visit our family in iraq. do you not feel evil gleefully recounting this to me

International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Men

FIVE. TIMES…. Jesus… I’m so glad she’s ok.