#a chunk of the original planet gets separated
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Dave’s old life is cast aside and he is reborn (semi-literally) as a star child. It is an ending that has left many baffled, including me, but is ultimately a touching end and beginning.
Dave ends the story an evolved being, yet not so far detached from his human origin. He still has a great deal of emotion and curiosity - he becomes a baby because he simply is one when it comes to understanding the universe. He could go anywhere, do anything and yet he goes to earth. He goes and watches over it like a shiny toy, while his physical ties have been severed he’s still attached to it- almost like a mother, if we stay with the baby metaphor.
Eventually he will move on from it but for now he is a protector of sorts. The guardian of earth. He stops the bomb not for his own sake but because he simply wants humanity to continue on- he stops a potential doomsday!
It’s too bad this is completely uprooted in the following bits of the series. He is “beyond” emotion, he is on Europa. I would be fine if the evolution or planet was focused on even remotely besides the same few paragraphs, he’s transformed and cast aside. All of the prior meaning is rebuked, all of his humanity removed. See it wasn’t the transformation that did it but the story itself— as it decided to pivot and couldn’t just have him watching. He must be a blank slate. He must be elsewhere- he can’t even enjoy watching the other planet or if he does we don’t really hear of it.
Dave becomes more of a plot device than a person, as a star child there’s so many facinating things you could do with him. For one thing a dressing the trauma that came from that and before, and — again either guardian of earth - self chosen- or we actually see his involvement elsewhere. He becomes a just as much of a tool as the monolith.
Not only is his humanity stripped but his agency, in 2010 he describes himself as a dog on a leash a good number of times. While I absolutely adore that metaphor, it’s so tragic and not even acknowledged as such?! (Again so much could be considered cosmic horror and it’s either had waved or blankly accepted) he went from a near omnipotent being to LOSING LARGE CHUNKS OF TIME AND BEING USED AS A PROBE. He’s suddenly beyond humanity when he was so attached before; he becomes apathetic incredibly fast. (Which, as a immortal being is understandable but it’s absolutely unearned and not in character) -> my issue isn’t with him becoming a tool of some higher power it’s that it’s sort of hand waved “it is how it is” and not addressed how messed up and interesting it is.
Now I’ve yet to read 3001 but my point here broadly stands. I fully believe it should’ve ended after 2010, as it comes across as very very clear it was a two book story and 2061 is a whole separate one with some characters tossed into it.
Arcs were over. There was a bit more explanation as to what happened in the first one; we got closure alongside Heywood. Things were set up for the future but it was more in a way for you to view them as fully developed not exactly a sequel. (Like the Hal 10,000 idea). It’s frustrating because Dave as a Starchild can lead to so many interesting things and it was a beautiful idea in 2001 but … after that it mistreats and mischarectetizes Him so fast in a way that frustrates me to no end. Maybe if there was an actual focus or exploration I could understand the direction but making him a cut out god figure is such a sad end.
A child of the stars still clinging to its former life, its humanity…
Oh what could have been. I’d like to imagine Dave would’ve never completely… not been Dave, yes over centuries he may subdue emotions, his interest may waver but what we get is a name and maybe some memory.
—
Clarification:
I fully enjoy 2010, my issues with Dave in that are minimal just that it’s a little sad he swaps guardianship but I can understand. I was excited and interested in Europa… only for that too also get sort of ignored.
There’s also some interesting points to come out of 2061 - how the monolith works, conversing with Hal and he does seem to have a genuine interest in study but it’s also where he’s sort of a name drop and little else
It’s the stripping him of his emotion and character that really gets me - as it’s a route that isn’t earned as Clark absolutely does not write about trauma or if he does it’s a off handed “ok so everyone dying and the monolith was a little scary but now I’m blue and don’t care” it’s even true for human characters idk
I pick and choose what I want to keep from the further books honestly, we’ll see if 3001 fixes this or if this rant grows longer. I’m just sad, Dave’s such a fascinating character and he’s so mistreated?
#2001 a space odyssey#2001 aso#2010 the year we make contact#2061 odyssey three#3001 the final odyssey#dave bowman#David bowman#2001 meta#fandom essay#rant#ramble#space odyssey series#space odyssey books#arthur c clarke
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you cannot separate the abdl and little aspects of me from myself. without them then i am still somebody, but there will be a huge chunk missing from me. i probably make it sound super serious but that's bc it is to me. this year will be the third year anniversary of me coming out as an abdl (before you get upset at me using coming out here: you try telling your close friends who know you as just some vanilla-ish guy or in one case your literal mother that you like diapers. go ahead.)
i am so happy. i know so many amazing wonderful people in all sorts of places, even irl!!, who share the same interests i do. i love to look at art, read stories (there's some amazing abdl original fiction out there), talk with people!! i love to talk with people!!!!
being an abdl and a little literally made me come out of my shell and open up! im no better at talking than i was before but i dont feel so pressured or nervous because i know everyone around me is just as weird as i am!!! and i know it was this specifically because i feel like i still struggle in other spaces im in relating to other "weird" things about me
i feel like i was always kind of meant to be this way, too. when i remember things about being a kid relating to diapers obviously there were swaths of tv shows with regression episodes, but i would get physically nauseous with embarrassment if someone saw me watching them. i always thought they could read my mind and knew i was watching it because i really liked when characters were babies/got turned into babies/etc. and wished it would happen to me. it sounds cliche but i still get embarrassed like that because NOW i know people know
ive always been kind of obsessed with babies and baby-related things. i would sneak into my sister's room when she was a baby/toddler to play with her toys; a couple times i climbed into her crib while she wasn't in it (and a couple times i got in trouble). i loved looking at baby clothes, baby toys, etc.
diapers i think was a slow-build that suddenly exploded into real desire when i was... probably fifteen, i can't remember exactly but i think fifteen. and from fifteen to nineteen i denied being into ANY of that so hard im sure it definitely tipped some people off. i forgot it was on my f-list as a teen when i showed it to my best friend. at the time she was like loool what the fuck but um. jokes on her. i can't wait to hang out next weekend and go look at baby things and pet things (ageplay4petplay friendship ftw)
at twenty i made an agere account, and in june of 2021 i abandoned that account and joined some diaper forums, which is when my anniversary is! its actually june 3rd!!
anyways, that's about it for this mountain of a post. im gonna go lay down before bed
i love being an abdl and an ageplayer and a little and a babyfur. peace and love on planet earth and beyond
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Hey, 343. We call "expanded universes" that for a reason.
It also hurt for those of us who actually LIKED Fireteam Osiris and saw potential in the characters. Halo 5 sets up a neat "Brothers in Arms" relationship between Chief and Locke like Chief had with Arbiter in 3, maybe even a little bit of Master & Apprentice, with Locke standing to learn a lot in the days and battles to come from the much older and more experienced Master Chief. But then the next game comes and... wait where is everyone? 343 wants me to buy more books?! A lot of fans already had to buy half a library's worth just to grock Halo 5, and here's 343 repeating that mistake again!
The Halo games really have just become a means by which 343 plugs the Halo novels. "There's a book that explains that" is the constant refrain I hear these days. No. I WANT THE GAMES TO EXPLAIN IT. The games are the only thing literally EVERY Halo fan buys. EXPLAIN IT IN THE GAMES.
I will give the audio logs in Infinite SOME credit for answering SOME questions I had, but mostly it was used to introduce irrelevant subplots that actually WOULD be better as a novel. Escharum doing his damnedest to keep the ragtag and ill-fitting family that are the Banished together with the disappearance of his protege Atriox, a warrior who was like a son to him, knowing full well he doesn't have Atriox's charisma and he can't maintain the cult of personality Atriox cultivated at the core of the Banished in the same way? Or a fireteam of Spartans, feeling lost and surviving without any real support, realizing that they'll likely die one way or another, deciding to risk it all on a single desperate all-or-nothing Hail Mary attempt at cutting the head off the snake, only to fail, with their only monument being their broken bodies, and their armor that Chief has to scavenge for gear with little if any knowledge of what happened to his comrades? These are plots TAILOR MADE for a spin-off novel. But instead a HUGE CHUNK of the total audio logs gets devoted to this kind of stuff, instead of explaining where Blue and Osiris are, if they survived, and setting up a reunion in a later story — you know, something actually relevant to Master Chief's story that connects with the plot players are already familiar with.
I get that 343 wants the Halo Universe to feel like this big connected thing while keeping the "mysterious" feel of the original trilogy, but for 343 that takes the form of locking players out of the loop: deny the players critical information necessary to understanding characters or the plot (even if the players can operate without that information) and then demand they cough up $8-15 a pop to gain access to that information (or just wait until Halopedia editors inevitably do). What they keep forgetting is that the original trilogy told players everything they needed to know as the game naturally progressed. The Bungie novels were interesting and sundry, but nothing they related was essential — not even The Fall of Reach (often considered the most important book in the expanded universe) was necessary to understand anything in the games proper. And then, when Bungie actually made a GAME about Reach, they made a point to showcase a separate cast of characters on a different part of the planet, playing a different role in the battle, with an entirely different team dynamic, all for the express purpose of keeping it so that the book wasn't essential to understanding what was going on. That's the secret that 343 just doesn't get: keep the books interesting, but keep them at arm's length — the GAME should tell the players everything they need to know.
More than game mechanics or graphics, if 343 can learn to tell stories in the games the way Bungie did, and learn to keep the books away from the games, then that alone will MASSIVELY improve Halo's appeal and bring back much of what was lost.
#video games#halo#halo infinite#343 industries#halo 5#halo 4#halo reach#the fall of reach#master chief#spartan locke#Bungie#expanded universe#blue team#fireteam osiris#the arbiter#microsoft game studios
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who are your top 2 most dramatic ocs?
Flux and Drakoh, probably.
If i had a nickel for every OC that was a douche with blue hair who's constantly smug, I'd have... okay well two and a half nickels but we'll get to that.
Flux (full name tentatively Fluxis Fulmen) is one of my original non-fandom characters, and he's a wizard who specializes in temperature and stuff. He can do ice, fire, and lightning. He is also a vampire, being turned by Thea after he convinced them he'd want to stay with them forever. However, what was really going on was he planned to use his newfound vampirism to fight Thea, who he'd constructed this image of in his head as some sort of cartoonish villain who menaces the countryside. He then became a vampire who menaced the countryside anyway. Because he is a hypocrite. He also has a Castlevania style castle (as opposed to Thea's Scooby-Doo style manor).
Drakoh Slygra is one of my Homestuck troll OCs, and he's got problems. His sign is the (probably nonexistent since I found it on a stock image sign) sign of Chaos, and is inspired (mostly in name) by the character of Drakath Slugwrath from Artix Entertainment, who in AdventureQuest Worlds was the embodiment of the element of Chaos and the main antagonist for the first arc of the game's story. So that's a great start for him.
[rest of his shit under the cut because this got way too long]
He's a Prince of Doom and Prospit dreamer, so he has the power of Kill You To Death. Before sgrub, on a separate planet from Alternia that I made for my trolls to live on, he was basically hired by the government to be an extremely effective one-man nuke. Because his lusus is a whole adult dragon. On the surface it's because Why Not but the real reason is because his ancestor was basically Troll Rasputin so they wanted to wrangle him under their control before something like that happened again. He also has a gem-studded belt that shoots lasers. Because why not.
I know I haven't really gotten to the dramatics yet, but that's because I haven't exactly gotten to his relationship with other people yet! Initially, he's kismesis with another of my trolls, Nemosa, who's a violet and also a privateer. She's also very very intense, and Drakoh finds that excessively scary to the point of wanting to break things off with her, but instead of actually saying that he just. Doesn't tell her. So instead he goes and finds a new kismesis, another one of my trolls named Venusu. Venusu is a rustblood and already someone's butler, but in one of Drakoh's one-man-nuking operations he manages to kill the person Venusu buttles for, and when he escapes the carnage he has a brief confrontration with Drakoh in the burning woods where Drakoh lets him go. Because he thinks Venusu is cute. And they eventually become kismesis.
Venusu is in a tentative and highly vacillating relationship with a jadeblood named Eraria, and Eraria and a goldblood named Colkis have a sort of will-they-won't-they relationship as well. Venusu and Eraria literally vacillate all over the quandrants, and Colkis has taken it upon herself to try and be their auspistice in their more caliginous moments. Drakoh finds out about his relationship with Eraria, and gives him a "me or her" ultimatum, except a very violent one. Drakoh threatens Eraria's life, but also asks that if Venusu wants to continue their relationship, that Venusu be the one to try and kill her. So Drakoh basically manipulates Venusu into blowing her up. Which would've gone fine, except for the fact that Colkis wanted to tag along for Ashen Purposes. Due to the botched attempt at Exploding Them, Eraria is missing a chunk of her left horn and her entire left eye, as well as having burns all over the entire left half of her body. Colkis, meanwhile, lost her left arm and leg in the incident. She managed to acquire/build robotic replacements, but it's still a sour point for her.
And to top it all off, Drakoh also eventually begins a whole third kismesissitude with another troll, a purpleblood named Perisi.
So basically Drakoh cheats on someone because he can't work up the nerve to actually break up with them, then gets upset at the prospect the person he's cheating with is cheating on him, and then goes and cheats on them, too.
Drakoh is the source of like 90% of my trolls' conflict.
If that's not dramatic I don't know what is.
If you've gotten to this point and are wondering about the remaining half a nickel, that would be my RWBY OC, River. He's based on Romulus and has a twin brother based on Remus, but their whole shtick is "what if Remus was the successful one" and River has a whole complex about it. His brother, Luan, is the one chosen to lead their team of student huntsmen instead of River. It comes to a head during the fall of Beacon where, after weeks of conflicts with the rest of his team, he basically has a hissy fit and beats his three teammates all at once in a fight and then fucks off to god knows where in the ensuing chaos. I say he's half a nickel because he's not really smug, but he is an intense person with blue hair that is also my oc.
So yeah.
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Lego city undercover 3ds review
Each of these can be switched on the fly with the shoulder buttons or a scroll wheel, and replaying completed levels is encouraged when gaining new skills. As the story progresses, Chase can gain new disguises that offer unique abilities, and it is these that allow for puzzle solving and new item collection, like the robber uniform equipped with a handy crowbar, or the miner disguise that features a pickaxe and dynamite-handling skills. The game is broken up into chapters, and at times there are levels separate from the rest of the city, like a scrapyard or prison, but outside of these the entire map is free to explore. Luckily, this wait time is diminished by a third from the minute plus of the original version, and the screen now has a LEGO model to spin around and character quotes to read instead of the non-interactive spinning police badge of old. This world is huge, and, much like its inspiration, requires a lengthy load when jumping into from a boot up. Cars are borrowed for police emergencies instead of stolen, pedestrians brush off being run over as a minor inconvenience, and guns have more of a laser pistol aesthetic to them than bullets. Told through excellently voiced cutscenes, this narrative spans the entire game and is the backdrop to all of Chase's excursions throughout the city.Īdapting a Grand Theft Auto-like open world, LEGO City Undercover operates on the right side of the law with a child-friendly LEGO exterior. He is tasked with apprehending a dangerous criminal that has escaped from prison, which he happened to arrest many years ago. Younger kids less given to criticism will still have some fun here, but older players won't be able to help compare this game to its Wii U counterpart, and that contrast won't be favorable.LEGO City Undercover begins with the introduction of Chase McCain, a police officer returning after a long absence. And without a second analog stick, players are left to control the camera with the shoulder buttons, which is awkward at best (it's impossible to look up). Side missions and bonus objectives are fewer in number and less interesting. There's far less spoken dialog, and the text dialog lacks the laugh-out-loud humor found in the Wii U game. Some examples: The city is broken into smaller chunks - many of which aren't accessible at the outset - with long loading screens between areas. It offers many of the same basic elements of its predecessor - including open exploration, the power to commandeer cars, and plenty of ability-granting Lego outfits to collect - but everything feels smaller, staler, and less fun.
Keeping Kids Motivated for Online LearningĪnyone who played the original LEGO City Undercover for Wii U is bound to come away a little disappointed with this prequel.
Use these free activities to help kids explore our planet, learn about global challenges, think of solutions, and take action.
Family Activities: Use these creative ideas for free activities to move, learn, relax, and connect as a family.
Which Side of History? How Technology Is Reshaping Democracy and Our Lives.
Cómo saber si una aplicación o sitio web son realmente educativos.
How to Tell If an App or a Website Is Good for Learning.
Teachers: Find the best edtech tools for your classroom with in-depth expert reviews.
Check out new Common Sense Selections for games.
10 tips for getting kids hooked on books.
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Luca Headcanons Part 2
DoesLast one blew up and I was gonna wait to make another before making this one but then my Italian fish obsessed brain couldn’t stop thinking and I literally couldn’t stop myself so let’s go, part 2!
Luca:
Has nightmares of what would happen if things went differently: If he was sent to The Deep, if he and Alberto were outed as sea-monsters before the race, if Ercole, Cicco, and Guido didn’t miss Alberto when throwing the harpoons at the beach, if Alberto didn’t come with the umbrella during the race and he was outed in front of the town and hit with Ercole’s harpoon, etc. He always wakes up terrified.
Apologizes to inanimate objects if he bumps into them or drops them.
Names everything he comes in contact with. Random animals such as birds, insects (even though he’s terrified), erasers he uses often, etc. They’re always random, silly names, but he loves them.
Is a slow reader because of how he fantasizes himself in the books and daydreams, then is snapped back to reality.
Keeps a dream journal!
Loves making stories about the stars and constellations. He loves the original stories, but he loves to make up his own.
Honestly I just get the vibe that he’s scared of birds after the encounter with the seagull.
His favorite color is purple followed by green!
Giulia’s mom buys him his own bike and he loses his mind, loving it so much
He’s a bit awkward with making friends at school, sticking to Giulia’s side most of the time
He doesn’t really care for music
He can fall asleep anywhere, honestly. He once fell asleep leaning against the doorway and then crashed onto the floor
Alberto loves to doodle on his arms and hands and Luca doesn’t really care to wash them off so they just kinda chill there.
He’s very easy to prank and scare
Oh you should see him around the holidays! He’s so excited! His eyes sparkle and shine, he absolutely loves the decorations!
He’s not competitive, actually. He just wanted the prize money to get the Vespa, but he doesn’t really care about winning. He just... Isn’t competitive
He is very protective over his friends. Do what you want to him, but lay a hand on someone he loves and he will tear you a new one. We see him in the movie just frown when Ercole makes fun of him, but when Ercole shoved Alberto, all bets were off.
Charts the stars
He doesn’t have one love language, he has all of them, but probably Physical Touch and Quality Time more than anything, or Acts of Service.
Drinks expresso more often than he probably should, but just to get through his schoolwork
Misses his goatfish more than he wants to admit, especially little Giuseppe
Allergies beat him up during the spring
Slowly gets used to cats with Machiavelli’s kittens, but he’s still scared of the chunky boy
A teacher at school made the mistake of introducing him to Shakespeare. He spent hours sobbing over a good chunk of the plays.
Because he liked Shakespeare, Giulia’s mom got him some poetry books. He was not a fan of Edgar Allan Poe or Agatha Christie or Mary Shelley, all the horror/murder type stuff. He loved Emily Dickinson though!
Is as terrified of losing Alberto as Alberto is terrified of losing him
While he isn’t as touchy with Giulia as he is with Alberto, he does get more touchy with her
Reads tons of books about cats, dogs, and turtles to give Machiavelli, Nerone, and Caligola the care they need
Hears about human farms and loses his mind, rapidly asking questions about how they work and if they’re similar to his own
Giulia tries to convince him that fairytales are real. He has nightmares about them for a few nights until Massimo has to tell him that fairytales are made up and her mom changes them slightly to be more... Non-scary. She starts telling them to him to bed just because she misses doing so, and then he can’t fall asleep without someone telling him a story.
Doesn’t do the handshake with anyone that isn’t Alberto or Giulia.
Giulia’s mom calls him “fishy” or “guppy” and he wants to hate it but he can’t
Hates it when people call him cute or baby him, but his family + Alberto + Marcovaldos still do it
Once heard some French Tourists and stared at Giulia and went “why is their Italian so weird sounding” and she lost her shit laughing
Doesn’t swear, refuses to swear
Tries to use Vespa stamps if they’re available
Once he learns what “Piacere, gioralamo trombetta” means, he sends a letter to Alberto which is just him freaking out and laughing while making fun of it. They don’t stop saying it. In fact, they probably say it more.
He has a map in his room with pushpins of where he’s been. Beside it are a bunch of sticky notes of where he wants to go with Alberto with reasons on why he wants to go.
Has a little bit more courage, but not too much
He’s often teased for calling others “sir” or “ma’am” and so he feels really shy about it but doesn’t stop
Refuses to call Massimo and Giulia’s mom by their names, it just feels too awkward for him
Makes friendship bracelets for the trio as well as separate ones for him and Alberto, then him and Giulia.
While he loves gelato, he doesn’t like it as much as Alberto
I feel like he’d dot the i’s in Giulia’s name with hearts but no one else’s
People at school think he has a crush on her but he doesn’t
He and Alberto still say they sleep under the anchovies. No matter how often he researches stars, he’ll always call them anchovies around him.
Sticks out his tongue when focused
Doesn’t like aquariums, he stares at those fish and he just feels trapped
Loves to dance in the rain
Does that little feet tappy dance thing when he’s excited or shakes his hands
Honestly half of his vocabulary is stern shouts of “Alberto!” “Giulia!” or “silenzio Bruno, silenzio Bruno! Silenzio Bruno!”
Speaking of, he can’t just say “Silenzio Bruno” once, it’s always him saying it more than once, especially when he’s really scared
He doesn’t have loud, aggressive sneezes, but he does have sneeze fits. Once he sneezed so many times that with every one his face got closer to his desk until it just went BAM and he has a massive bruise on his forehead for days.
Sometimes just goes into the water and swims to relax. If he’s feeling homesick, he’ll do some daring trick and then instinctively turn to smile at Alberto only to realize he isn’t there
His dad still keeps crabs but lets Luca name them. Luca chooses to name them all after space things. Mainly moons, but sometimes planets or galaxies
Secretly feels really guilty about Alberto selling their Vespa
After almost being sent to The Deep, he is terrified of the dark and can’t sleep without a light on, no matter how dim it is
Alberto:
Matching pajamas with both Massimo and Giulia! (Refuses to match with her, Massimo yelled at them)
Tries to see what triggers his transformation. Does watermelon? Does juice? Is it any liquid? He’ll find out!
Calls Giulia “Spewlia” just to piss her off
Those two are always arguing. Yes, he often starts it
Lots of tattoos and ear piercings!
Will into Giulia’s room, stare her dead in the eyes, call her a bitch, and run out while leaving the door open. She’ll scream at him and probably throw something.
Tends to shorten people’s names. He calls Luca “Lu,” “Lulu,” and even “Luke.” Luca does not like any of these names.
Still builds his Vespas! They’re not as fun without Luca, though
Takes Giulia with him sometimes too and purposely crashes into the sea or something just to see what she does.
Gains quite a bit of muscle
Is the one who takes down all the sea monster things with Massimo. He and Lorenzo carry Smuca to the fountain
Idk I feel like he has loud sneezes
I also feel like he makes that weird cough face like that one cat idk I just know I’m right
He doesn’t just sing... He scream sings
Doesn’t know how to dance but if there is music he will dance
Loves dancing in the rain too!
Sometimes he’ll just walk into Giulia’s room and gossip with her. They’ll make a blanket fort and grab some snacks and cats and just... Spend the night talking and catching up
She teaches him how to braid hair and now he just loves doing her hair
Bites his lip quite a bit. That’s canon but like, still worth mentioning
Learns how to ride a bike so he doesn’t get killed or something
Keeps a journal on things Luca and Giulia are interested in so he can learn about them. He writes down bullet points on what he remembers from conversations, but it’s honestly not much
He doesn’t have big dreams other than traveling the world with Luca. He knows Giulia wants to be a marine biologist and Luca wants to travel the world + is still figuring things out. He has short term goals other than that and changes the topic about it.
A popular headcanon is that Alberto takes care of the goatfish when Luca’s at school and I think that would happen!
He’s shockingly good with kids! When not working, he loves playing soccer with them by the fountain
He almost named Machiavelli’s mate “Frog” because he can’t name things
Half the time when Giulia and/or Luca talk about school, he goes “I don’t what that means, but I’m choosing to define it as ____” and won’t let them prove him wrong
Technically canon but he will bite. Chomp chomp.
When he meets Giulia’s mom, they love to paint together
He does make some friends in Portorosso, but none are as close to him as his sister and best friend!
This man is the most dramatic person good lord
Love language is definitely physical touch!
Still screams “Take me, gravity!” pretty often
Can’t do work alone without music. He doesn’t really like opera but he can’t stand silence, he just can’t
Sometimes he thinks of Luca’s betrayal and is really angry, but knows he’d probably do the same if the roles were reversed. It was about self preservation and the risk of living. He still gets upset about it sometimes, but completely forgives him and understands
Is always torn between giving Giulia genuine facts about sea creatures and giving her such absurd but lowkey believable lies. He wants her to succeed so badly but also wants to screw her over
If you give him anything, he will play with it. String? A toy. A pen? A toy. A literal rock you found on the side of the road? A gorgeous toy, thank you!
Never just goes into the water, he will always be dramatic and dive in or jump
Sometimes when not on duty, he just blows his lifeguard whistle because he thinks it’s cool
He loves yoyos!
Will noogie Giulia.
Sometimes gets scared that Massimo will abandon him, but it seems like Massimo always knows
Città Vuota is his favorite song!
Doodles all over everything, especially Giulia and Luca’s arms and legs. They range from little stars to tic tac toe games to fish to anything that comes to mind
Giulia:
Is very much into photography! Luca always does hearts with his hands/fingers while Alberto does stupid poses or flips her off... or both.
Hums and sings a lot!
Also loves to dance and is the best of the trio! Loves to twirl and vibe even if there’s no music! It’s just her personality
She doesn’t just hug, she jumps into their arms and holds them close
Sometimes just to annoy Alberto she’ll hug him and press kisses to his head and cheeks. Siblings gonna be annoying.
Always has so much energy but really struggles with sitting still for homework after such long hours in school that her grades aren’t all that good except for Astronomy!
The most competitive of the trio
Bites her lip when she’s nervous
Started wearing her hat to match her dad when she was little and now she doesn’t like being without it
Has probably fallen asleep in class
Loves watermelon and gelato
While Ciccio and Guido apologize for their actions, she doesn’t forgive them and doesn’t want to. She has every right to
Gets really into singing when she’s singing along to songs
Doesn’t like makeup for herself but will hold the boys captive to do their makeup
Loves puns! Will make sea puns to piss off Alberto and Luca, but Luca loves them so it half-works
Loves copying Alberto’s lipbite
Machiavelli her beloved <3
Loves her fam so much! She’s got pictures of them everywhere and is constantly buying them gifts
Speaking of! Her love language is giving gifts!
She’s actually pretty good at making friends since she can read people so well. It’s just that Portorosso doesn’t have any.... Great kids to befriend and Genova just has too many that she sticks to a small group which eventually fades, as groups do
She isn’t the most emotional but she also isn’t the least emotional. She doesn’t cry often but she does get sad and shows it
I don’t know why I feel this way but I definitely think she’s scared of the doctor
She used to be scared of thunderstorms until meeting her boys and the race happened. Now she associates rain and storms with that win
Summer is her favorite season
She knows everyone in Portorosso by name and knows most of their birthdays by heart
Speaking of, she always celebrates Alberto’s birthday like her like her life depends on it
Now loves racing on her bike even more cause of the race
Calls Alberto “Berto” and is the only one allowed to do say
A very light sleeper
---
More on the way probably they’re all I think about
#luca movie#Luca#pixar luca#luca pixar#luca paguro#alberto scorfano#giulia marcovaldo#massimo marcovaldo#giulia's mom#death tw#maybe? just in case
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Allergies
Requested by mytasteinmusic on Ao3
The humans were throwing food. Why? Well, Kahpi sighed, it was anyone’s guess really. For whatever reason, they were making some sort of game out of it. One human would grab a small piece of food and toss it high up into the air and another human would attempt to catch it in their mouths and eat it.
For the cleaning team’s sake, she was glad all the foods that were being thrown seemed to be fairly self-contained and held together well even after being thrown. The foods in question started out as colorful candies the humans had brought along with them from Earth. They had been searched and scanned for possible allergens and dangers they could pose to other races that would be on the ship. Kahpi, as head Food Safety Inspector, had overseen the process herself. Some human food could, after all, cause anything from slight to severe damage and trauma to digestive and respiratory tracts of different species that also worked on the ship. This meant that foods that were only safe for human consumption had to be stored and prepared separately from other food supplies, or if they were exceptionally dangerous, banned altogether.
The colorful candies being thrown around now, for instance, were safe to be on the ship, but under the multi-colored exteriors was a concoction that contained theobromine and caffeine. The humans called it chocolate. They loved the stuff and used it in a wide array of foods. It was safe for them in modest amounts, and as long as they kept it to themselves, they were allowed to have it.
Once the colorful candies were all consumed, and dropped pieces taken care of, the humans moved on to throwing other foods. Pretty much whatever they had in their meal: diced fruit, ripped bits of bread crusts, chunks of vegetables, etc.
Kahpi kept her eyes on their antics as she also made her rounds in the ship’s cafeteria. As boisterous as they could be, their games were no reason for her to fall behind in her own duties. It was, as the saying goes, not her spilled bucket of eesaling to guard. If they wanted to goof off on their own time, that wasn’t her business. As long as it didn’t cause harm to anyone else. Usually by sharing their food with other races without clearance or supervision, they were fine.
In any case, it seemed that their food throwing gag was starting to die down. They returned to eating their meals normally, laughing and joking around loudly with each other as was the norm. Kahpi was thankful that few of the crewmembers that regularly spent their time with the humans were not of races that could boast similar skill of great aim and power while throwing. That would help deter others to pick up the food-throwing in the future.
Just as Kahpi was wrapping up and about to leave, she overheard a disturbance from the humans. They all started speaking or shouting at once.
“Dude! What the- what’s happening to your face?”
“Oh my gosh!“
"What’s going on? I think I’m going to throw up!”
“Carlton, you’re breaking out!”
Kahpi looked over to the humans were now starting to rise from their seats, onsets of panic starting to creep into their body language.
“Are you allergic to something?”
“I don’t think so?”
“What is it? What have you eaten?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never had allergies before!”
“Oh frewan, some of the m&ms had peanuts! Are you allergic to nuts?”
“I don’t know! I used to eat peanut butter all the time as a kid!”
“Could it be the nuts?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know what else it could have been!”
“Chris, you have allergies, right? What do we do?!”
Alarmed by the humans’ reaction, Kahpi, as well as several others that were in the cafeteria, approached cautiously to see if any aid could be given. Whatever could spook a group of humans so badly must be dealt with quickly and conclusively. As she approached, one of the humans, Chris, ran off and disappeared down a nearby corridor.
She paused. Was he fleeing? And if so, what from? Should she flee as well? The other humans weren’t running, at least not yet. Instead, they were gathering around Human Carlton, who, now that Kahpi had gotten closer and could see more clearly, did not look like he was well. His skin, usually the color of a richly tanned deygbah hide, looked splotchy and red. His eyes were unusually watery and swollen. In fact, everything about him was starting to look just a little bit swollen in parts.
Kahpi’s second stomach dropped. Carlton was going to die!
“Come on guys, back up a bit, give him some room!” Human Macy, the newest human to the crew, had everyone shuffle back so Carlton could lie down.
Kahpi was just about to bolt down one of the corridors nearby that she knew would lead her to the med bay, in her panic forgetting that she had her comm device, when Chris returned from where he’d run off to, carrying a short cylindrical container tightly in his fist. Everyone parted in the small gathering crowd to let him in. He slid on his knees and stopped right next to Carlton who was now lying on his back. With a pull at the wider, blue-colored end, Chris plunged the device into his companion’s thigh. Kahpi could hear a small click and Chris held the device firmly in place for a few tiks.
As he pulled the device away, Chris looked up and his eyes met with Kahpi’s. “Get a medic here now,” He said calmly but with an intensity that snapped Kaphi out of her trance.
Within a few moortiks, Medics Jeebarul and Minti were loading Carlton onto a stretcher and taking him back to the med bay, Chris and Kahpi were allowed to follow.
Later, after a discussion with the humans, medics, and the captain, Kahpi learned that it was indeed a food allergy that had caused this whole mess. The colorful candies that had been okayed for human consumption were to blame, particularly the ones that contained an Earth food called “peanuts.”
Alarmed at the news, Kahpi pulled up the files she had access to on the humans. Compared to other species on the ship, and throughout the entire galaxy for that matter, humans had a relatively short list of known allergens. Of the humans on the ship, her records only stated that Humans Chris and Ricardo had allergies. Shellfish and animal dander, respectively. Worried that she had failed in her duty of food safety, she scanned Carlton’s files over and over.
“I don’t understand,” her voice trembled slightly as the captain frowned at her, “There’s nothing here. No known allergens.”
The captain’s fins pulled back tightly against his face. “Then what happened? What was all that?”
Chris, who had returned from helping the medics get Carlton settled, responded, “We’re pretty sure it was the peanuts. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“But my records-”
“Say that he doesn’t have a peanut allergy, yeah,” Chris interrupted, “but that just means he hasn’t been tested for it. He’s had no need to. He didn’t know. He didn’t use to be allergic to peanuts, but now as an adult, he is. Somehow, he hasn’t eaten anything with peanuts or peanut oil or whatever for years, so unluckily, he had no idea he was allergic.” He paused. “Or maybe it was lucky? I mean, we had an epipen on hand and he’s okay now, and now he knows so… I guess it was kind of lucky?”
“What do you mean he wasn’t allergic before?” Kahpi sputtered. “That doesn’t make sense! How is he allergic now?”
Chris shrugged. “It happens sometimes. You can develop an allergy to something later in life that used to be okay. No one really knows why.”
Both Kahpi and the captain stared at him for a moment. The captain was the first to regain composure.
“Well, I suppose it was fortunate that the medics had a supply of these… ‘epi-pens’ stocked.” He hesitated a moment in thought and then nodded to the cylinder that was still in Chris’ hand. “I suppose we better request more of those, just in case. What exactly do they do?”
Chris lifted the ‘epipen’ up for better observation. “It’s got a dose of epinephrine in it. It’s adrenaline, so it constricts blood vessels and speeds up the heart so blood pressure rises and it helps relax muscles in your airway so you can breathe again.”
They both stared at him. After an uncomfortable silence, Chris added, “It’s not very fun. But it keeps you alive until doctors can help.”
The captain had a few more questions, both for Chris and for the medics when they came back out. All the while, Kahpi had time to try to ponder on and digest all the new information and implications this would bring to her job.
Allergens were a thing among many species, yes. That’s why she had the job she had. However, few, if any that she could think of right now, had allergies that were caused by foods FROM THEIR OWN PLANET OF ORIGIN! Not only that, but some allergens were safe to eat for one human, but not another?! Where is the reason for that? What evolutionary purpose could that possibly serve for a species? Or was it just some weird fluke, one of so so many, that humans just came with?
She buried her face in her hands. Well, this whole thing was going to throw a bit more complications to her job now. Apparently even human food wasn’t always safe for humans. Go. Flargin’. Figure.
#humans are weird#i learned so much about epipens#allergies are weird though#humans are space orcs#aliens#space#epipens#allergies#writeblr#original writing
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So I’ve been doing a RWBY watch the last while. Mostly a rewatch so far; I’d previously seen everything through either the last or next-to-last episode of S5, although there are huge chunks of 5 that I had no memory of. Anyway, some thoughts as of 6x02:
The “color naming rule” really is a suggestion at best. I mean, Adam’s the only mortal who’s definitely in the “they weren’t even trying” category, but so many others rely on foreign languages (when there’s no indication this planet has more than one, however implausible that may be) or cultural referents that don’t make sense.
Ruby’s semblance appears to be migrating. S1 it was, “Forever Fall” dialogue aside, a rosepetal teleport. There may have been some motion blur, but not enough to register with me. With the S4 design upgrade it became a red swirly thing flying in a cloud of rosepetals. S6 appears to be downplaying the petals and allowing her to bring other people along, whereupon they become semi-separate swirly things of their own colors.
Speaking of semblances, what the dust happened behind the scenes with Jaune? S1 had that flash of light and pain when Cardin tried to punch him while he was actively defending NPR, which seems to have no connection at all to S5-6′s aura/semblance boost.
What is Velvet’s deal? She takes pictures of other people’s weapons, and then recreates unrelated animation sequences that use those weapons, with roughly the original’s level of effectiveness?
Also, what is Klein’s deal? I get that he’s a Once Upon A Time-style Disney reference, but is he various people actually crammed together somehow, or a system, or just a guy who puts on different personae, or what?
Somehow, Casey Lee Williams doesn’t feel like she’s Weiss’ singing voice for “This Life is Mine”, at least in the concert. Weird, because I didn’t have a problem with her for “Mirror, Mirror 1″ (the only other one I remember being presented as something Weiss was singing in the moment).
Do all the seasons involve fire coming out of the corners of your eyes? Seems weird.
Why does spring get ice powers? What does that leave for winter?
Can someone hold two seasons at once? If so, what happens when someone manages to get all four?
I wonder why the S6 theme song isn’t giving any subtitles at all. Previously there would be at least the name of the song, if not an attempt at lyrics.
Speaking of, they should proof their subtitles better. Plenty of stuff there that’s clearly not what’s actually being said/sung.
I am honestly surprised that they’re carrying the relic openly on their belts. Even if most people aren’t going to recognize it for what it is, it’s still valuable-looking and not obviously a weapon.
Waait, wait. If Jinn still has two questions left, is this one of those things where the count resets every century whether they’ve been used or not?
I’m impressed that they managed not to accidentally ask anything in the first few moments. I don’t know if this is one of those situations where anything that could reasonably (or unreasonably) be taken as a request for information increments the count, but good job not testing that.
Slow down there, bucko. This Oz fellow has been body-surfing for some large number of generations. That’s a lot of time to build up secrets. And depending on how the Answerer interprets “hiding”, you could very well still be getting the answer decades from now.
I see they’re not being noticeably subtle about ships. R calls for Y & W, Y for B, W for R, and B for Y.
Is there some secondary thing about this relic? Because three True Things About Present Or Past every century doesn’t sound like 1/4 of Phenomenal Cosmic Power.
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Sahuldeem/Kaleesh Q&A #5
Here we go again! Some of this addresses the end of Part Two/what comes next, so the spoiler tag is in effect.
(questions bold; answers italic)
I have a question. See I've been working on my own take on the Grievous backstory on and off for the past four or five years. But you've done such a good job on your own version that I'm questioning if I should continue with my own because I don't want to inadvertently make you or other people feel like I'm just ripping off your own work.
Don’t be discouraged from writing your own interpretation! More fics = more fics. I don’t have a monopoly on Grievous’ backstory; there have been fics before and there will be fics in the future. As long as you aren’t directly plagiarizing, don’t sweat it. I’m sure the folks who want to read more takes on Grievous’ story will be happy to have more fics to read. :)
It occurs to me. The whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing and all. If that malga hadn't insisted Ronderu needed to die, she probably would have never ended up in the position that she would cross paths with Sheelal, and this whole mess that's about to happen now that she's dead might have been avoided. But that's hindsight for you I suppose.
Honestly, that’s prophecy for ya~ :(
Hey Inoni, you once said you would do a list with all the clan sigils. Maybe you should put the earned names and the year of birth in there too or do a seperate list.
Yeah, I have a BUNCH of lists in a separate document to help me keep track of clans and ages and the timeline and translations and stuff. I still don’t have designs for all of the sigils yet, so that’s still gonna have to wait! (and yes, it would be a separate list)
What’s your take on the backwards-swimming shoni swordfish (just called shoni, apparently)
The first time I heard about it: “weird”. I don’t mess around with the living fish much in Sahuldeem. I figure they swim backwards peacefully most of the time, but if they’re attacking prey or you rile ‘em up, they swap and swim forward with aggressive intent.
“Sappy love song that get increasingly genocidal with each verse until the listener starts asking if the songwriter is okay” needs to be a genre tbh
…Can I have some examples of this, please? o_o
If they made a Grievous movie I’d want all the dialogue to be subtitled until he actually learns to speak Basic
Agreed, that’d be great (even if it would require the Kaleesh language to exist…like…fully, heh). Language/names/[mis]communication are important themes in Sahuldeem, so I’m selfishly biased, lol.
What do the Kaleesh call themselves in their own language? I figure “Kaleesh” is probably not the original name of the people or language since it’s etymologically derived from the name of the planet (which is like humans being called Earthlings) and appears to have a Basic demonym, -sh.
Kaleelu. (it hasn’t really come up, oops)
Hi yes that was great PLEASE give us long post on the word Sahuldeem
I will! Not in this post; it will get its own! It’s incidentally pretty much THE REASON I started writing this fic, so I expect to dedicate a pretty lengthy chunk of test to it.
So given that particular disparity between Grievous’ Legends and canon backstories regarding how and when he became a cyborg, are you going to try and combine the best of both worlds, handwave it with an explanation as to why Grievous’ personal shrines depict a gradual transformation when that isn’t the historical truth, or simply retcon the canonical version without much fanfare?
I’ll just say I ended up leaning towards handwaving in the script with plans to elaborate more in prose.
Ronderu’s dead (F), y’all know what that means!!! Time for Qymaen to adapt the absolute worst coping mechanisms known to the galaxy!
Time for me to balance “look, he’s suffering and traumatized, for the love of all the ancestors someone get this man some therapy” with “well that’s actually just a bad choice right there and he’s accountable for his actions”.
Okay, now you’ve got me curious. Can you give us a hint on what chapter the vague Bentilais reference is in, at least?
Eh, I’ll do more than hint, it’s in Chapter 10 of Part Two.
Recent drawing of Qy looking more and more like his IBC Grievous concept art look, I am Scared™️
Gives a new meaning to letting one’s hair down, huh? :’D (lol he does usually tie it up and WILL continue to do so for a while; I just figured at this moment in the story he’s had a rough couple of weeks and he just sailed through a kriffing storm, he’s not worried about hair right now)
…but yeah, that sure is a…new…expression for him. >_>;;
#Inoni Answers#Inoni Writes#Sahuldeem#Star Wars#Kaleesh#Kalee#Qymaen jai Sheelal#Ronderu lij Kummar#Bentilais san Sk'ar#General Grievous backstory#Anonymous#apollonkondric#Sahuldeem spoilers
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Checkpoint and important updates 2!!: Electric boogaloo!!
Heyo guys!! Long time no talk. So, I’ve got some cool update stuff to show you guys. I’ve been doing a lot of blog “housekeeping” since the end of the last event. (don’t worry it hopefully won’t be boring update stuff lmao as it includes some new supplementary content). So, first and foremost, thanks to the inspiration from @koppais-smallest-nerd I’d like to let you guys know that I am now adding screen reader access to all future posts!!! This one included. At the bottom of each post under the, “read more”, image descriptions for all images will be added! Screen reader accessibility will also be added to all previous asks on the blog. However, getting through all of them will take a tiny bit. As, of this update, the first 4 asks have had image descriptions added. As well as all the supplementary content in between where applicable.
I’d also like to show you guys some supplementary content for the blog. Between these dashed lines are in character day 1 log entries written by the rest of the crew.
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I originally wasn’t sure if I wanted to put these extra day 1 logs on the main blog or not. But, I’ve decided that all supplementary content that may be story related will remain on the main blog for the foreseeable future, while BTS content will end up on PNF-404-Plus.
That being said since the end of the 1st event and my time away from the blog a lot has been going on when it comes to the blog.
For one the entire desktop version of the blog has had a large overhaul. A new theme has been added to the main page.
But, not only that but new side pages with supplementary content have been added!! This includes an event list, a bio page for the crew members of the S.S Drake, a Piklopedia page for the new Piklopedia, and a music page to top it all off!!
The Event List will show each new event as they are added! You can click on the current known events to go directly to all posts tagged with that event tag. Speaking of which all Event 01 posts have now had their tags updated with the Event 01 tag making it much easier to navigate.
The new Crew Members page has bios for all the members currently on the mission or known in the story so far! These Bios are pretty in line with cannon with some fanon, and light headcanon added in for good measure. I recommend taking a look as it does have some interesting info in there. Also quick note: all of these bios are written as if it is prior to the beginning of the blog.
Then there’s the Piklopedia!! Here you can read each of their findings as they explore PNF-404! Currently the findings will be on each area they explore (not each creature they find) as they haven’t found any new creatures yet. There is also a map of places they’ve discovered and more!
Lastly, a new music page has been added. On this page, I’ve created event-inspired music playlists. Some of the songs have been mentioned in the past. But, here you can listen to them all in one place and see which songs are for which part of the events. As well there’s a secret songs playlist. This playlist has nothing to do with the blog directly but is filled with music given to me by people I’ve met from this community while I’ve been here!! Currently, there are 5 songs there, however, there will be more added in the future! What makes it secret is that you won’t know who gave me the song XD. (well unless you’re the one who gave me the song lmao) who knows if you’ve ever shared music with me before you may find your song there!! (There is also one song I’m sharing with you guys in there too so have fun figuring that out lmao. )
As well the table of contents has been once again updated with a lot of this new stuff as well as some other new information!! As for mobile users as of now, all of this is on separate Tumblr pages. However, in the near future, I will be uploading much of this stuff , such as the Piklopedia entries and Crew Bio’s, as individual posts! However, in the meantime, if you feel like you can always check out these pages on your phone browser instead if you’re a mobile-exclusive user. (Though some pages don’t look as good on phone)
Welp, I think that’s it as far as updates go!! I should be back with brand new ask posts soon (likely within the next week or so!) so keep a look out!! I’ll see ya guys again soon and thanks for reading!!!
{{ Screen reader image description is under “read more”}}
In the first image, Alph’s Day 1 Log entry is shown. His log says, “To think I thought the first day would go well. Then again I didn’t think I would get sucked out of the ship either so maybe I should stop being so surprised. At the very least Louie and I were able to find our way back despite some obstacles and I was able to fix the ship in time. Though if it weren’t for Chunks we would have never found the pikmin we did. That little guy sure saved the day.
However, Then there's what happened to Brittany… To see her in a situation like that... I can’t even bear to think about it. Tomorrow I will be checking over the entirety of the Drake to make sure a crash like that doesn't happen again. I can't help but think that the crash was due to me overlooking something during maintenance... However, The only thing I can do now is to make sure something like this never happens again for all our sake, especially Brittanys’. “ It is then sighed by Alph
In the second Image Charlies Day 1 Log entry can be read it says, “I should have been on top of things. As this crew’s captain, everything that went wrong was under my watch and things should have gone much smoother. That being said I am very glad that all of my crew have made it out alive. Though I am still worried about Brittany. If only I was able to keep her safe…
But, at this point, we all must press forward. We have a task to complete and after seeing how devastated some areas are, we must get to the bottom of what’s wrong with PNF-404. Nothing will get in my way, not with my steely fists that is!!” It is then signed by Charlie
In the third image Louies’ day 1 log entry can be seen it says,
“
Going back to the pikmin planet wasn’t at the top of my list of things I thought I’d be doing anytime soon. Yet somehow I find myself back here and stranded again…. At least I wasn’t fully alone this time…
Alph and I eventually found a pikmin that we later named Chunks. He sure acts differently in comparison to any other Pikmin I’ve seen before. But, even still, if it weren’t for Chunks, we wouldn’t have been able to help Brittany or find any other pikmin for that matter. So, we should thank him for that.” It is then signed by Louie
In the fourth image the updated version of the Project: PNF-404 Tumblr is shown. It now has a bright cyan futuristic aesthetic to it.
In the fifth image a picture of the new events page, listing all the past and future events planned so far is shown. It has 1 known event Titled Event 01. The other 3 are titled Event unknown.
In the sixth image, the new crew members’ character page is shown. A picture of Olimar is shown along with a description of his traits and a biography. It reads as follows,
CAPTAIN OLIMAR
AGE 38
ALIAS(ES)Olimar
SPECIES Hocotatian
GENDER Male
TITLE(S) Employee of Hocotate Freight, Xenobiologist
AFFILIATION Hocotate Freight, Planet Hocotate Government
Fatherly, well-meaning, and resourceful, for an almost 40 year old Hocotatian he has a lot of bravery and guts. Olimar first and foremost loves his family and cares deeply for others around him. A Hardworking employee of Hocotate Freight and family man, Olimar tends to try and stay level-headed while looking out for others.
Having been one of the first to visit the Pikmin planet Olimar has extensive knowledge of the planet's life. Lucky for him he just so happens to have gone to college for xenobiology. Many of his findings can be found within his many log entries known as the Piklopedia.
But, for as much as Olimar tends to be on top of things, his trips to the pikmin planet have had him face many dangers and life-threatening events. Though these issues are not something he brings up…
In the seventh image, The new Piklopidea page is shown, In one section it displays a map of PNF-404 with 2 marked locations. The first of which is highlighted in blue is named the “Silent Stream” the second, is highlighted in orange, Its title is “Glacial Gardens”. To the right of that is a description introduction for the Piklopedia. It says” To help ensure the progress and success of this mission all crew members must write down their findings in this log. Overview:
CAPTAIN Olimar: Writes In-depth biological analysis of fauna and how the ecosystem affects said fauna.
LOUIE: Writes about Recipes and ingredients that can be found in each area. ALPH: Looks at the area with the eyes of an engineer. He uses this insight to discuss the benefits and flaws of what he’s analyzing. BRITTANY: Uses her botanist skills to look into the flora of the area along with talking about the aesthetics of things and adding in her own general opinions.
CAPTAIN CHARLIE: Writes about combat strategy and how one can use the environment in an area for a tactical advantage.
To the left is a map showing the current locations discovered by the crew. The one highlighted in orange has yet to be explored.
The final image shows the new music page! 6 playlists can be selected on the left each having 5 songs. To the right is an image of the event 01 cover art. With (from left to right), Brittnay, Charlie, Olimar, Louie, and Alph all looking up with a distressed expression on their faces.
END ID
#pikmin#supplementary content#alph#louie#charlie#ooc#Event 01#not an ask#update#man why are my posts always so long XD#I’m writing most of this in the middle of the night I’m really tired#tomorrow imma look at this and be like what the heck did I write lmao
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• Humpty Dumpty Elegy 4 | five books on 👑NARCISSISM👄 •
Been Dumpty-free for over a month now. Wednesday and I had our long-awaited shroom trip. And we've been seeing more of our old friends coming around.
The worries about violence have left me. He hasn't been seen lurking around anyone, nor their families or partners. His closer peers were probably right, he's not a combative person, despite all similarities to Elliot Rogers.
I didn't intend to give each entry a specific theme, but they do all seem to have their own threads running through them. HDE 1 was introspection, HDE 2 was autism and self-control, HDE 3 was death.
This time, I have narcissism on my mind. Talking about the fear of death has an absolving effect. Terror is a sin each of us are guilty of. It spooks us all into the same rash convulsions and mischief. Meditating on it is kinda nice, it's humanizing.
But talking about narcissism has the exact opposite effect. Here is where Frick Nitzels's quote, “Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” hits you right in the bones.
Narcissism is a vast and loaded concept: From an ancient myth, to a clinical diagnosis; A unique and personal euphemism that everyone has their own definition of; A pejorative; An infinite platonic form; And quite often a narcissist projecting their narcissism onto someone else, as if to say "stop being selfish and only think about meeee."
I thought death was a massive undertaking in one month, but death didn't get my hands nearly as dirty. Even after I realized I'm a worm, that eats, and will be eaten, by worms. I'm gonna have to re-read books that mostly informed me that I'm a poorly-behaved piece of shit, or a pretentious loser. I was happy to just silently take that advice, and work it into my life in private. But now, I gotta tell you about the sea of narcissism I swam through growing up, and the stains they left on my character.
I'm going to struggle to separate myself from one of my least favorite people on the planet, the two of us from my parents, Wednesday, and you the reader. In our secular world, if there's one vice still seen as unacceptable, it's narcissism. When we startle ourselves awake at night, thinking about the ways we trespassed against our peers, and soiled our reputations, most of the time we're reflecting on moments where narcissism got the better of us.
• #1 I Hate You Don't Leave Me by Jerold Kreisman and Hal Straus •
Wednesday was the origin of the Humpty Dumpty analogy. Years before meeting Hump, Wednesday took a sure-win, and dashed it off a rock like Smeagol with a juicy sweet fish.
It was a no-brainer, he had a good thing coming, all he had to do was not cancel it, then he could finally see a reward for all his hope. But he sabotaged it, and went back to wishing it worked out. Like there was nothing he could have done better. Just an unsurprised shrug out of him.
But I had no sympathy, I was pissed. For the first time I deeply pondered the idea that my friend was exaggerating his difficulties with his life, for people's attention. Which he's gotten a sizeable chunk of. I was brimming with contempt.
First, I decided to dig into info about Munchausen syndrome, and learn how that works before slinging it at Wens. Also known as, "factitious disorder imposed on self" (FDIS), it describes someone who fakes or exaggerates symptoms of an illness to achieve the role of a patient, indefinitely. There's an unfortunate stigma around it, which I myself held before learning more.
The causes of FDIS are largely unknown, but in many cases the person is trying to recreate events and arrangements from their childhood. In both stories, Wednesday's and Humpty's, each one started off life on this planet as patients. The overall point though, is that it's not like pathological lying, it's more like sleepwalking.
Got no god damn time for liars.
Wednesday was born with strabismus, and underwent atrociously painful eye surgery as a very young boy, which still didn't work. According to his parents, he was sad from day one. Although I believe he saw his mother's shadow early on, and knew she was mad, years before she officially lost her mind. He was serially raped by an older male relative from infancy. In elementary school, a girl falsely accused him of hiding a bomb in his locker. He was cuffed, searched, exonerated, but still held the reputation of a bomb-smuggling anarchist villain till highschool. He had a full beard like five years before his peers, adding to his eldritch lore. He was in a head-on bus crash where two busses sheered in half, exposing him to a small stadium bleacher of carnage, decapitated and dismembered people, alive, dying, and dead. His mom tried slashing his throat with a kitchen knife, and if his dad ran away with him and his sister, his mom could have used the family court system to jail their dad, and leave them alone with their mother. And that's not everything. Tricks and kicks, over treats and kisses for ya boy Wendy.
Wednesday, for the first half of his life, played the legit role of one being healed. His future was never a question of being great, but simply getting better, and becoming whole. But from whole, he had no intuitions on how to keep improving. Life was about putting fires out, not building a structured and ambitious life. All that is new to him. It's hard to look up, after you decide hope is a trap. Things must be unlearned first.
So, feeling more sympathetic, and knowing he's not just a pesky little scheming bitch, the next thing I dove into was something I overlooked. Something his shrink said he showed symptoms of: Borderline Personality Disorder. Narcissism's b-side.
Now, with BPD and NPD, the D, "disorder," is what matters most. This is a spectrum, where the closer to the middle you are, the better. Most people dominate one side more than another, but until it fucks with your life, and you get too far from the middle, it's just what we call your style. Like with autism. For example, someone towards the borderline side will probably express more imposter feelings, than notions of greatness. There's plenty of beautiful art from both perspectives.
Last I checked I was close to the middle, slightly on the borderline side. This whole series is sort of me granting myself a little bit of narcissism in my life. As opposed to being like "Eh, who needs to read this shit? Nobody asked for your opinion, Garble. Fuckin, IMPOSTERCOX. Booo!" Which is more typical of me, inside my head.
People who are extremely off-center often make it there from trauma, genetics, and a lack of empathy. In Wednesday's case, he actually scores very high on empathy and compassion towards others, but next to zero on self-compassion. Hence his capacity for self-sabotage.
I said I got no time for liars, but Wednesday lies all the time. Only he never lies to other people, just himself. Part of the game in being Wednesday's friend is catching him lying to himself in full earnest, and being like, "Hey Wednesday! Quit lying to my fucking friend Wednesday, YOU PUNK ASS JIVE ASS BITCH!" But externally, he doesn't have a deceptive bone in his body. Unlike Humpty.
Funny thing is that this book describes exactly how my relationship ended with Humpty. (And almost the same with Wednesday.) We were the angry therapists who felt played with, and gave up. Like wrestling with his issues was bringing out the worst in all of us. Borderlines occupy a shrink's office more often than bipolar and OCD combined. And they're the most likely to be forsaken by their therapist.
For a long time, psychologists thought borderlines were hopeless, and many strictly refused to treat them. But that's misguided. We're simply in the early years of understanding it as a disorder. Recent research and technology has painted a much clearer image of what BPD looks like.
If you have this disorder, you can expect it to go away eventually. Age seems to be the most reliable cure. But why wait till you're fifty, passively letting time and fatigue do all the work? Meanwhile, wasting a life of potential being a bored, insecure, psychotic punk.
Humpty Dumpty wants to believe he's unique. It would absolve him of all responsibility, and make the truth of his troubles opaque to every observer, except for him. However, he's not. We took him in because he sounded familiar; He seemed like us.
Knowing ain't half the battle, that's a bullshit quip written by some asshole. -- Aesop Rock, Get Out Of The Car
Get out the car, Egg.
This book is not an answer, it's a road ahead. Diagnosing yourself with BPD does exactly jack shit on its own. If you try to exploit it for sympathy and moral license, you're committing an atrocity. But knowing gives you choices. This tells you which choices help a borderline grow the fuck up with a bit more haste. Plus, it teaches one how to communicate with an angry borderline, whether or not the borderline is you.
• #2 Against Empathy by Paul Bloom •
I said Humpty had little or no empathy, was that harsh? No. In fact, it could be one of his assets, if he wasn't more focused on using that as an excuse to be a malignant shitball.
In his lazy research, Humpty learned that empathy is against his autistic nature, and thus treating people with love and compassion isn't an option for him. Even when he manages to, it was just a societal ambush of pressure and coercion. He's just pretending to be a human, because otherwise we'd smell is autism, figure him out, chop his head off, and ram it onto a pike. According to him.
But lacking it doesn't make you cruel, useless, or immoral. Like Simon Baron-Cohen (yeah, that's Borat's cousin, relax) said in The Science Of Evil, autists have no particular tendency towards any of those things, despite their deficit in both cognitive and emotional empathy.
Emotional empathy is when you directly mirror someone's physiological and emotional state within yourself. Cognitive empathy is when you mentally intuit how someone will feel or act, without mirroring them. Both are fast and intuitive, as opposed to a slow rationalizing process.
Humpty is perfectly good at cognitive empathy, whenever he needs it. Granted, the other portion of the time he's just fantasizing and projecting onto people. But when he's working inside the margins of reality he's as quick as anyone, and accurate.
Sweep empathy off the table. Say he's full-on Cluster A like he says, with Autism and OCD, or Cluster B like I do, with narcissism and psychopathy. It doesn't matter. He's not exempt from being a good person, or growing up.
Good deeds are best done slowly. Intuition is too quick to take time into consideration. It's myopic, tribal, and innumerate. Picture a child, crying and begging for a whole tub of ice cream before bed. The most empathetic response is to mirror the child's desperate desire, and give in to their request. But a compassionate response considers tomorrow, and the night-long indigestion marathon the kid'll be in for. It also weighs the habits that it could form, the other people that wanted to share the ice cream, and your overall responsibility to help a child make wise decisions.
Psychologists and doctors couldn't help anyone if they mirrored people with things like depression or mononucleosis. So they don't. It's not like psychopathy is something all helpers share, they're not just well-socialized daredevils. Lacking or limiting empathy is just a must when you're trying to help people in pain.
Most surprisingly, Buddhists agree. Brain scans have shown that meditation actually dims the empathetic activity inside your head. It helps you by turning it down. Buddhists believe there's two ways to empathize with humans, a good way and a bad way. The bad way to do it, is one human at a time, like a spotlight. The good way, is to aim that empathy broadly, at the whole of humanity.
I won't try making Bloom's whole argument. It's a controversial one, and he does the best job. But the thing I want to address is this school of thought, that empathy is the nucleus of all morality. That if only humans exhibited more of it, the more humanity would flourish. That people with empathy deficiencies are excluded from building utopia alongside the rest of us.
It's all untrue. And it's a lie that encourages moral decay. Frankly never thought I'd be someone railing against moral decay. But I've never seen a more effective way to do it. If levels of autism and personality disorders are on the rise, and empathy is going down, we have to avoid creating a massive slice of the pie that feels inherently excused from being morally responsible. That's too much nihilism for anyone's good.
• #3 Antifragile by Nassim Taleb •
Humpty Dumpty is a motherfucking egg. And I ate a piece of chewed bubblegum off the underside of an old moldy wooden bannister, on the ramp in front of a community shed at my housing co-op. It was soft, with a chalky greyish-blue patina. I made like three different visits to pick off more from the same piece. I didn't even realize it was gum till the second time. I don't know what I thought I was eating. I don't know what my motivation was, or what I seemed to like about it. It literally didn't taste like anything. Paper at most, probably from the moldy wood. And it just dissolved, it wasn't chewy at all. How disgusting.
That's my grossest story. I was like 4 or 5 years old. And I'm proud of it. Because that's some A++ immunity building. My mom always encouraged the consumption of germs. Literally told us to eat dirt. Would probably throw up if I told her, but she'd be very proud. Real high-five material. She may be reading this now. Sup, Q!
I also, around the same age, just hurled a brick up in the air, didn't watch it, and it landed square on my melon. I don't think that made me any stronger, but who knows. Does mithridatism work on stone? There's a real dent in my skull. So it did improve my ability to stack books on my head.
I don't have a fraction as much horror to speak of, from my upbringing. But I think I beat all of my friends in how chaotic and disorderly it was. A friend once said it sounds like I lived three or four simultaneous lives.
Starting in 2001, I moved to a new home every three years, till 2016. That year, nothing changed, until I felt an overwhelming desire to try psychedelics. That's when I realized the three year pattern. Then in 2019 I moved with my mom again, to where I am now. This cycle, It's my house; I'm in control of whether I move. I don't know how I'll feel in 2022.
On top of my home, my dad's home moved nearly as often (from rural motels, to a frat house for cabbies. I'll get to it eventually), and I wound up changing schools six times. I've made, and lost, and made, and lost, hundreds of real friends. I don't believe in stability. I think certainty is a childish indulgence. And I learned young that you can't measure risk, but you can measure your own fragility, and work on that.
Humpty, like all narcissists, is as fragile as they come. Cripplingly sensitive and inhibited. Knows twenty steps in advance how some normie will slight him, and sweats as he imagines how his shell's gonna craze.
"You mean, well, lemme understand this. Because aah, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe. But, I'm funny how? I mean, 'funny' like an autist? I annoy you? I make you mad? I'm here to fucking annoy you? What do you mean, 'funny'? How, how am I funny?!" -- Humpty, screaming into his pillow while he goes over the day's staircase wit
Humpty needs a lot more slap, less tickle. More bannister gum, less Final Fantasy speed-run letsplays. And most importantly, more mortifying interactions with humans. He always scoffed at my people-advice like I was just naturally born this charismatic. Bitch, I had to embarrass my way up to this point. At his rate, he'll catch up to me in 600 years. This motherfucker thinks he knows the discomfort of human interaction. Pfffft, I say.
If you're gonna make a mistake, make it fast, and make it extravagant. You're doing it for everyone watching as well. Humpty is absolutely not a victim of trying and failing, he's a victim of being afraid to try. In part, because the school system, and a rising number of factors in our society are fragility-making nightmares.
He's like one of the monkeys in Harry Harlow's famous "hairy mamma monkey bonding (HMMB)" experiments, that got raised with a cold chickenwire mother to hug and nurse from. He came out too timid to explore or do free play with other monkeys. The system we grew up in is mostly staffed with wire mothers. And if you're a kid whose parents would rather let the government raise and indoctrinate you on their behalf, you gotta guard against the fragility this creates.
Most of my friends need to read this book. They tend to believe happiness comes from comfort and stability. When I describe pain and distress as productive, they often get flummoxed, and a little disgusted. As if I said sunlight makes things cold, or that bannister gum is delicious. Many of them see their youth as a constant struggle out of discomfort. To willingly re-expose oneself to it is completely retrograde and absurd to them. It's like I'm advocating for masochism.
In a way, they're making themselves allergic to pain, by trying to extirpate it from their life. Most of their suffering is fear of suffering, and a sort of emotional anaphylactic shock. Our anxiety is often just the dizziness of freedom, coupled with the impossibility of reading the future. We all do this here and there, myself included. But it's hard to fix it if you don't acknowledge that it can happen.
Antifragile is one book in Taleb's "Incerto" series. "Incerto" meaning "uncertain" in Latin, Nassim made one huge book, but then chopped it into five pieces. And they're all extremely worth reading. They're about how to make wise, confident choices in the face of life's inevitable uncertainties. If you want to become a smart-felling party-smants, these are the books to read.
Humpty despises uncertainty, like he does all grey areas. I wonder if this contributes to the way he vacillates between believing he's either the dumbest or smartest person on the planet. Smartest, when he's whipping up a corkboard in his head, with polaroids, red yarn, and thumb tacks. Then the dumbest, when he has to tear the whole thing down, and admit not a single bit of it paralleled reality. Later, to anesthetize himself from feeling stupid and helpless, he blames fate, or the malice of others.
He's got a fairly big brain. He's just wasting all his brainpower on making prophecies, rather than cultivating antifragility. "Antifragile" may be a neologism, but it's a quality humans have cherished for as long as we know.
Just a sidenote, I believe psychedelics and entheogens are an extremely powerful tool for teaching antifragility on an intuitive level. It's one of those things you can't articulate when you sober up, but you have a real sense of gnosis. Things like "creative destruction" get this seductive ring. Chaos earns its place in nature. You might start to ask yourself, "What would Dionysus do?"
• #4 War Of Art by Steven Presfeild •
If not for this book, I wouldn't be writing this.
When I was fourteen, a friend in Minecraft recommended this. Gazah was a thirty-year-old, kind, stoned, devout Joe Rogan fan. He said he got this absolutely amazing book on procrastination, and that I should get it. But also that he got it, read about a dozen pages, put it down, and never picked it back up.
I laughed like "Oh Gazah, you goofball." Got the book. Read about a dozen pages, and didn't finish the last 95% for another six years.
So, for best results, read further than 12 pages.
It's been six years since I finished it. I couldn't tell back then how much it changed me, but after re-reading it, it's arguably the most important book on the list. If you only read one book from this series, get this one. In fact if you read this first, my whole series will seem redundant. Though you'd lose all the fun cursing and psychobabble.
This book is what got me wondering about people's tendency to self-sabotage. Pressfield seems to see it as an ethereal force he calls "resistance."
The chapters look like a machine gun drum mag, with two main special ammunitions: RESISTANCE and PROFEESIONAL.
"RESISTANCE IS INVISIBLE, RESISTANCE IS INTERNAL, RESISTANCE IS INSIDIOUS, RESISTANCE IS IMPLACABLE, RESISTANCE IS IMPERONAL ..."
BAP BAP BAP BAP BAP 30-60 seconds a pop. It's something to re-read every year. Sweep that mental chimney.
"A PROFESSIONAL IS PATIENT, A PROFESSIONAL DEMYSTIFIES, A PROFESSIONAL ACTS IN THE FACE OF FEAR ..."
It may sound like some hyper-manic, Gary-V-style dogma. But it's actually distilled classical wisdom. Laconic mantras.
The big thing that influenced my decision in writing this series, was his idea that an amateur hides from analysis, while a professional embraces peer review. It's not enough to spend an ungodly number of hours, thinking about a guy I believe is a run-of-the-mill gigantic cunt. What does it matter if nobody has the opportunity to check your bullshit as you extrude it into the face of the universe?
My journals are perfectly sufficient for my prophecies, and venting about my less microcosmic peers. I write so that when I die, my loved ones still have my voice. In fact, I'd encourage all forms of amateur creativity. We all need something "autotelic" in our lives. Like drawing, dancing, exercising, asking people questions about themselves, etc.
But it's not sufficient to do this Humpty Dumpty shit in private. The muses have bound me to him. And if the muses call, you know where I'll be.
Now, Humpty didn't have a ton of creative passion, save for two things: Sadistic pornographic fantasies, involving people transforming into conscious pairs of pissed pants, invisibility, wizards, and the whole fucking nine. The other thing was photography. He bought a $4000 camera so he could take pictures of women out and about; They'd find it weird if he used his cellphone, but with a telescopic lens & DSLR, shit, he might work for National Geographic, so judge not! More pornographic fuckery.
Whatever your passions or goals, this book tells you when you're working towards them, and when you're being a time-wasting fuckboi. It told me when Humpty was being a bullshiter.
Regardless, it's a less-than three hour audiobook; It's one episode of the JRE. It's painless. And at the risk of sounding overly sensational, it's a life-changing book.
Why is this book in a clump of books, loosely bound together under the topic of narcissism? Because if you live by all of Steven's advice, it's impossible to remain as anything close to a pathological narcissist. Forget what psychologists say about you, wonder what this guy would say about you.
• #5 The Culture Of Narcissism by Christopher Lasch •
I said on The Body Keeps The Score that I've never had a panic attack. Well, I nearly had one while reading this. Had to pause it and get my breathing under control. Bravo!
This, I read after starting the Humpty Dumpty Elegy. Figured if I'm gonna accuse an alleged autist of being a sneaky narcissist, I had better read more about narcissism.
So I got this, and the abyss looked back at me like blue steel. When it didn't describe my foes, it described my heroes, it described my parents, Wednesday, Humpty, and myself.
I was reminded of the idea in Denial Of Death that all character is psychosis. Then, I tried to comfort myself by repeating it over and over in my head. "Narcissist" kept sticking to me like trying to pull a glue trap off my right hand, only to get it stuck to my left hand, then my foot, then I hopped around and fell in more traps.
When learning about any of the "Dark Triad" disorders: narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism, someone experienced will usually warn you about the confirmation bias it forms in your head. Like when you decide you want to buy, say, a silver Honda Civic, and suddenly for the next couple weeks it feels like every third car on the road is the car on your mind. Or when you learn a new word, and it goes from meaningless noise, to everyone's new favorite adjective.
It happened to me long ago with Jon Ronson's The Psychopath Test. Where I started scanning everyone for psychopathy, and had a wildly high false-positive rate. Just like with that book, and despite expert warnings, this one had me seeing ghouls everywhere. Only this time I was one of them. At least with psychopathy the adage goes, "If you're deeply worried that you might be a psychopath, you're not a psychopath."
During the second readthrough, I couldn't recall which part made me almost faint, but I can think of a few candidates. No panic this time, but plenty of lip-chewing and knee-bouncing.
The part about us all going from "spiritual-man," to, "psychological-man," definitely got my nerves going. I denigrate Humpty's warped upbringing in the psychotherapy system. Especially the way psychology gets used as a cudgel to punish unruly youths. Meanwhile my cure is to slap him around with books on psychology, sanctioned and approved of by the same system. But that wasn't the panic button; That part's too early in the book, as I recall. Plus, he gave a shoutout to self-help over constant expert supervision, which has been my ideal.
Throughout the book, there was plenty of relief, whenever Lasch joined me in whipping Dumpty: For his constant pleasure seeking, His non-belief in the future or the past, the emptiness of someone who sees humanity as empty, his longing for an apocalypse or millenarian upheaval, his vague indefinable complaints, his lack of play instincts or willingness to suspend disbelief, the way he's defined by others not himself, his disgust towards his own passions, and much, much, more.
But chopped up and sprinkled between every major lift, I'd fall right alongside Humpty. The way we both scoff at hierarchical structure and competition; our disdain for nostalgia and how pretentiously we dismiss tradition, sport, and ritual; our fascination with evolutionary psychology, like zoo animals fantasizing about the wild; our sense of uniqueness and desire to hang out with a worthy few; our pointless use of humor and vulgarity when discussing serious topics; the way we fancy ourselves a couple of rebels, yet we're the picture of competence and submission at work.
Plus, there were some things the imposter in me can't just dismiss off-hand, as I'm writing a series like this. Pseudo-insight into my own condition, and the condition of others? False confession? How much of my mind have I numbed through the infinite regress of ironic detachment? Shells on shells on shells... All the way down. Nothing more typical of a narcissist, than pointing fingers at others.
This is starting to feel like Fight Club, where we're one guy all along. Did always say we were similar.
Narcissism is not a vague concept, clinically. It's not self-love, it's self-hate. There's primary and secondary narcissism. Primary is like a baby, just screaming for baby stuff; No awareness of others, voracious consumer, nourishment is all external. Secondary is a revolt against one's internal baby, where all nourishment is sought internally, hyperindividualism and isolation develops, and instead of helpless, one becomes grandiose. Borderline personality is essentially secondary narcissism.
But it doesn't really matter whether one's A or B, because fundamentally they're two sides of the same coin. One that flips regularly within people. Think about how bullies and victims so easily swap positions. Primaries often think self-help involves just becoming a secondary, and vice-versa. It doesn't matter if you turn the knob left or right, if the deadbolt is still engaged.
It shouldn't be surprising to hear oneself described in this book, though. For a couple reasons. Like I said earlier with I Hate You Don't Leave Me, it's a spectrum. And until all this becomes pathological and destructive, it's just your style. The other reason is, narcissism is just becoming more rewarding in our society. Not only is it a style, it's one of the coolest. Lasch wrote this in 1979, and his words have only gotten more true.
Yeah Dump, you could have just been a cool normie all along.
In the early days of narcissism research, with Freud, society mostly produced primary narcissists. Secondaries being rare. Since then, it has almost entirely flipped, to everyone being a nebulous cloud of anxiety and dissonance. Identity crises are through the roof. To many of us, "unique" is the highest compliment. We're all more isolated and militantly individualistic.
We're all told to seek the top of every hierarchy we're in, or we're being subjugated and exploited. As if the world was made of only bosses and suckers.
In the 18th century, a well-lived life was simply one where you died without having to apologize to anyone for how you lived. You only had to be a helpful and buoyant person, whose company people cherish. And read a book from time to time.
In the 19th century, philistinism took over. The only virtues became resume virtues. And personal growth was measured by how much more money you started making. Personalities became works of art, and most importantly, self-advertisements. Even I have promoted books that make people better employees.
As a result, society has bureaucratized itself into a coma. The most lucrative state of mind is an institutional one. The kind you develop in school, the military, or prison. Our virtues are all industrial. We're performers, not producers. With bullshit jobs, or dehumanizing peonage.
I could go on forever about this book, but this whole series is already committed to elaborating on its points. And this is tumblr, so my post is 3000% too long as is.
The key point, at the end of the day, is that Mr. Dumpty, you are a narcissist my man. You know that whipping I talked about, the one I took half of with you. From constant pleasure-seeking, to shells on shells, you KNOW that's more accurate than your autism diagnosis.
Which is just: occasional stutter, OCD, threw tantrums as a wee boy, and you struggle to make friends.
Humpty, come read this mirror.
• End Bit •
I keep telling myself to stop writing this and delete everything. Writing this, and re-reading these books has been nothing but fun. But a voice persists, saying this is wrong, and that I'll regret it. But oh well, I got at least 40 more books left. Fuck you, voice! This is for a future prison inmate.
I know I said I was done with The Culture Of Narcissism, but I gotta address one thing. This isn't false confession, fiction, or pseudo-insight. I really do see Humpty Dumpty as a microcosm of something pervasive. I've grown up with people like him, including myself at one point, and a major part of my fascination with psychology comes from the mystery of his kind.
I forget if I mentioned yet, but I was threatened with special-ed, endlessly, till the 6th grade. That year, my mom was like "Test him. Get an expert, and if he says my kid's a dumb bitch, he's a dumb bitch." The test said, objectively: "Garblegox is not stupid, he's just a fucking asshole." So finally, the teachers eased up, and learned how to stop getting punked by cool little boys like me. I was a bully in school; I bullied my teachers.
But from then on, I continued through school, wherever I went, with some hardcore sped cred. 'Bout 60-80% of my friends were special ed, medicated, or just fucking top-shelf weirdos. My passion is, and always will be, misfits.
The best way to approach the problem of narcissism is to not approach it as a problem of narcissism. Approach it as a lack of compassion and empathy, as fragility, as resistance. Approach it with sympathy and awareness of your own narcissistic or borderline habits.
"Narcissist" is the other N-word you best be careful with. It's like calling somebody stupid, they just won't cooperate with you; the firewalls engage.
You may have picked up that I'm a sucker for a patient. It's not considered healthy to choose friends with the goal of healing them. As Nassim Taleb points out, chronic healers can be as toxic and spooky as sick folk. Humpty shouldn't be transferring the role of patient onto himself, and doctor onto his friends. And I shouldn't be accepting those roles from him, or any other friend. It's a codependent transference relationship that hurts and debases both parties.
Bet you thought eating that gum was the most embarrassing thing about me.
Here's how I invoke the muses:
I have been completely unable to maintain any semblance of relationship on any level
I have been a bastard to the people who have actively attempted to deliver me from peril
I have been acutely undeserving of the ear that listen up and lip that kissed me on the temple
I have been accustomed to a stubborn disposition that admits it wish its history disassembled
I have been a hypocrite in sermonizing tolerance while skimming for a ministry to pretzel
I have been unfairly resentful of those I wish had acted different when the bidding was essential
I have been a terrible communicator prone to isolation over sympathy for devils
I have been my own worst enemy since the very genesis of rebels -- Aesop Rock, Gopher Guts
SHOUT OUT TO MELPOMEEENE AAAAH uOOAAAAAHHHH!!!
NEXT MONTH IDK IF I'LL BE ABLE TO COBBLE TOGETHER A WHOLE TOPIC! WE'LL SEE! THE IMPORTANT THING IS JUST THAT I WRITE IT IN THE FIRST PLACEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
#psychology#self help#mental health#books#philosophy#I hate you don't leave me#against empathy#antifragile#war of art#the culture of narcissism#jerold kreisman#hal straus#paul bloom#nassim nicholas taleb#steven pressfield#christopher lasch#book club#narcissism#borderline personality disorder#bpd#resistance#empathy#risk#npd#humpty dumpty elegy#humpty dumpty#wednesday#chewed gum#GARBLEGOX#greek muses
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Escape
Hi! So this is like, the first time I’m actually using Tumblr for anything so I’m hoping that I do this right. I have fallen in love with @martuzzio‘s Space Outlaws Hermitcraft AU so I wrote a thing based on this ask. This is my envisioning of that scenario (Note: I’m leaving it ambiguous as to who or what exactly is attacking).
This is my first time writing something but I figured it’d be fun practice. I hope I didn’t cross into undesired territory here Martuzzio; if so, I am very sorry.
Warnings: Mentions of injury, implied torture (done by the bad guys), and explosions but none of it is described in detail.
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Two men sat in the room overlooking hand-drawn floor plans of their current location. This particular Convex base was well guarded, yet still not as well as several others they’d been at.
In all honesty, the duo was only supposed to have been cooped up here for a few days, but recent events had led them to remain here longer. To the rest of the Convex, it was an annoyance; but to Cub and Scar, it was their first chance to actually escape.
Of course, it would not be easy, the duo knew quite well what happened to those that tried to escape and failed; they’d seen it countless times and it was imperative more than ever for them to get this right on the first try.
“We already know that the goal is to reach the docking bay and steal a ship; the hard part will be getting the path there unguarded enough to slip in undetected.” Scar said as his fingers mindlessly traced the drawn hallways in question.
“Mass sabotage won’t be enough, not after the stunt that one guy tried last week.” Cub mused, tapping the pencil in his hand against the desk, “And, from what I’ve been hearing they plan to move us out of here in two days, that doesn’t give us much time…”
“What about outside help? We know there’s prisoners here, if we can get to them perhaps they could help us in some way?”
Cub shook his head, “Won’t work, odds are the Vex have broken them by now; we’re on our own here.”
The following silence was only broken by explosions and the base alarm going off, snapping them out of their thoughts.
The door to the room opened, their attention being drawn to the two Convex guards that entered, “What’s happening?” Scar asked in confusion and panic.
“The base is under attack by a yet-to-be-identified group; we’re moving you early.”
Cub and Scar quickly grabbed the bags they’d originally packed for their escape and followed the order given to them, falling into place between both guards. They knew there was no chance of escaping now, they’d have to wait until another time and place.
Every hallway looked exactly the same as they were rushed through them, the alarm and distant sounds of combat not helping their nerves any.
An explosion on the floor above sent chunks of concrete and metal falling, blocking the path they were taking. Several more followed shortly afterwards, shaking the entire base around them.
“What in blazes is going on up there?!” One of their escorts snapped into his communicator in frustration.
There was no response to his question, only static.
“Damn it!” came a curse. “Change of plans, we’re going the long way around.”
A shove from behind got Cub and Scar moving, this time even faster as chaos reigned above.
It wasn’t long before they were all sent flying.
Briefly dazed from the impact with the wall opposite of the one that had exploded almost in their faces Cub was able to recover enough to realize that he and Scar were separated from their escorts; this was their chance.
He grimaced at the sharp pain on the side of his head but shook it off as he caught sight of Scar, the man struggling to stand.
“Scar, c’mon, we need to go!” he said as he hastily helped his friend get to his feet, “Cub? What just…?”
“Not now, this is our chance to get out of here. The chaos will keep enough of the Vex busy.”
Realization at Cub’s words filled Scar with enough adrenaline to move, holding on to the man’s hand as they ran down memorized halls.
Of course, things were never that easy; in their dash to escape they were assaulted by other Vex that had figured out exactly what they were up to when it was realized that they were not being escorted.
Several times, even the attacking forces had taken notice of them; Cub just barely avoiding a shot from one of their weapons when he pulled Scar around a corner.
Still,despite the chaos and destruction they continued to run, their desire for freedom fueling them despite their bodies crying for rest.
Familiar doors loomed before them, blown open like most of the base itself.
Yet, despite the fact the base was under siege, the docking bay was relatively quiet. Not surprising, given cowardice was not tolerated within the Convex; in scenarios such as this, you either fight, or you die.
Scar and Cub desired neither.
A small cargo ship caught their eyes, inconspicuous in deep space and plain enough to easily slip away undetected, it was perfect.
----
Aside from the humming of the engines, the air around them was silent as they traveled through the black expanse of space.
The duo were worse for wear at this point but they didn’t care, they were safe…they were free…
“Well, we did it…what now?” Scar asked in exhaustion as Cub patched their wounds as best he could.
“Find some distant planet and drop off the grid. With any luck, the Convex will just think we’re dead.”
“Or captured, in which case they will no doubt look for us, we know too much for their liking.”
Before Cub could reply a desperate sound came from the cargo hold, followed by the sound of scratching and clawing.
The duo of now-ex-Convex looked to the door and then at each other, “We have to take a look at what we escaped with eventually, may as well start now.” Scar shrugged.
Upon entering the hold the duo was able to take inventory at their unintended haul. They had enough food to last them until the next planet or station, and a few weapons as well.
The sounds they heard, however, came from a crate, the label on it reading ‘DANGEROUS’ in big red letters.
Normally, they would not even think about opening something of the sort, but the sounds from within were growing ever more desperate. Against their better judgement Cub carefully opened the crate, readying one of the guns they had found among the rest of the cargo in case whatever was inside wasn’t friendly.
Out of the crate came a creature that neither of them expected. Its fur was white and grey and from behind the barred muzzle over its maw they could see gentle, green eyes.
“A cat?” Cub questioned, “What is a cat doing here?”
Scar, on the other hand, extended out a hand, coaxing the feline towards him, “Come here, let’s get that thing off of your face.”
Muzzle removed the cat let out a grateful meow and nuzzled into Scar’s lap.
“Can we keep her, Cub?” he asked with a smile, now stroking the cat’s fur, “Please?”
Cub sighed, “Alright, we can keep her.”
Scar’s eyes looked back at the now-purring ball of fluff in question and, with a smile, spoke. “I think I’m going to name you Jellie.”
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your ideal billy/teddy duo comic (plot, character designs, artists and writers involved etc)
One thing that I've always wanted to see is a comic about Billy and/or Teddy that was produced entirely by mlm creators. Vecchio, Robles and Gracia are all gay artists who've worked with the characters on recent titles, and I'm eager to see more from them. While none of these artists have ever shown the characters in a way that exactly suits my wants, they've each demonstrated a clear personal vision of who Billy and Teddy are that I can respect. I find that Vecchio and Robles, as illustrators, both articulate a gay sensibility in their designs and are able to represent a range of gay identities and expressions with not only dignity, but real love, which is frustratingly hard to come by. Oh, also, Kevin Wada covers, because duh.
Writers are a little bit more difficult for me. I love Anthony Oliviera and I know that he's got a lot of ideas for the characters, so I'd be delighted to see anything that he might pitch. Vecchio also does write, and his creator-owned series, Sereno, is an urban superhero story in a modern fantasy setting-- something he describes as Batman Beyond meets Sailor Moon. Based on that, I think he'd do a great job telling a story about a witch and shapeshifter from New York. I know that Sina doesn't work for Marvel anymore, but I've always wished he could've done Billy and Teddy in a sweet little rom-com miniseries, or even just a single issue special. He's particularly good at writing tender, funny, and just unapologetically gay characters who signal authentic elements of our culture and community without making them cheap or laughable. That is a quality which I find essential for Billy and Teddy, and it's part of why I want more mlm creators to work with them.
If you had asked me this question last year, I would have had an easier time pitching ideas for these characters. I'm eager to see what the future holds for them, but "rulers of an interplanetary nation" was never part of my vision for how Billy and Teddy would be spending their early twenties. I did have this idea for an ongoing series about their "college years", wherein Billy would be studying magic with Wanda and Agatha, and Teddy would work part time with Carol or Alpha Flight while attending community college or learning a trade, like piercing or tattoo artistry. The idea was that they'd often spend time apart, as they'd each be focusing on their own careers and having individual storylines, but they'd always come home to each other at the end of the day and lend each other support, in ways both mundane and super-heroic.
I used to imagine that they'd stay in that nice apartment Sunspot got them, which would act as sort of a crash pad/base of operations for a revolving cast of their friends. They could convert one of the rooms into a magical sanctum for Billy, and another into a study room or art studio for Teddy. Tommy, America, Kate, or whoever could crash on their sofa whenever they're in town or need to do a team-up. Wanda could help Billy ward the apartment so that he and America are the only ones who can portal in and out, but then Loki would find a way to get around the wards and cause trouble, and there'd be a whole dramatic reunion. The whole idea could easily be adapted as a Young Avengers ongoing if you widened the focus from the main couple and treated it as an ensemble piece with individually chunked plot-arcs, much like the original series.
Unfortunately, that idea no longer holds as much water as I'd like because, for one thing, they lost that apartment and never explained why-- it seems like it was passively retconned out in between New Avengers and Death's Head. More importantly, they now live in space, with Teddy being a busy ruler of an interstellar Alliance, and Billy his prince-consort.
I would still like to explore the idea of them pursuing separate goals and working in separate fields while never being truly apart. Empyre introduced a clever plot device wherein Billy is now able to sense Teddy's location and teleport to him instantly, no matter the distance, which, I assume, works in reverse as well. This feat of magic is made possible by their marriage, which binds them symbolically and draws on the power of their love. They can go anywhere and do anything on their own, and still be together again at a moments' notice, which is super romantic and also affords them more flexibility than most superhero couples. I would still pitch a series about Billy doing magic work on Earth while Teddy does diplomacy in space, and one can always warp to the other when they need backup fighting a bad guy. They could even switch back and forth between staying on Teddy's throne-ship, and getting cozy at Billy's little Manhattan apartment when they want to get away from it all.
I guess my final answer is that I want the two of them to be fully realized, individual characters whose love is illustrated through mutual support rather than, like, being glued to each other's hips. The things that I want to see Billy doing are very far removed from the things that I want to see Teddy doing. Superhero characters tend to lose momentum when you marry them off, and superhero couples tend to fizzle when you keep them apart, but Billy and Teddy's unique strength is that they're never truly apart, and their relationship never seems to lose steam-- they've been a pair from the start, and... they're a little obsessed with each other.
The Billy story that I most want to see right now is a full Maximoff team-up. It could go in one of two directions: A) a quest to uncover Natalya's history and finally vanquish the Emerald Warlock, in which they're waylaid by Doom and other magic villains from their past, while teaming up with their magical friends around the world-- basically a sequel to Scarlet Witch; or, B) a showdown with Krakoa and a resolution of their relationship with Erik, which, best case scenario, partially reverses the Axis retcon and proves once and for all that the Maximoffs are mutants. If we got a longer series, we could actually do both plots-- they learn something about Natalya which leads them back to Erik, and the two arcs become a larger story.
The Teddy story that I most want to see is a Guardians-esque space romp with political elements featuring Teddy, Xavin and Noh-Varr as, like, a sexy-alien-boys version of the Gullwings from Final Fantasy X. Does that make sense? I don't have a great grasp on the political landscape of Marvel Space so it's a little hard for me to come up with details, but I know that the status quo has been totally upended, so there are going to be different factions and movements springing up, and likely no shortage of villains and space monsters rearing their heads when the dust of the war has fully settled. Teddy's a monarch now, but he's also been set up as this Arthurian hero-king, so I think there's still room for him to go on adventures and fight his own battles with his magic sword and, maybe, a crew of loyal space knights.
Having said aaaallll of that, I would absolutely die for a full-on fantasy adventure story with Billy and Teddy. I mean, Teddy's a king with a magic sword and his husband is a super-powerful witch. It's gotta happen. I'd actually be into them having a rematch with Mother, who is a pretty adaptable villain, in that her abilities and motives will differ depending on how she's been summoned. I'd also really like them to have a chance to go up against Sequoia directly, and on more even grounds. Quoi is such a great enemy for them because they represent the same generation of Avengers babies, and, actually, Quoi's origins are directly tied to Billy's-- their respective parents had a double wedding together. Sequoia and Teddy's arcs in Empyre paralleled and contrasted each other beautifully, but the two characters had no meaningful interactions. I want to see thems as arch rivals, and maybe, begrudgingly.... friends? Plus, I love that they're both alien princes who live in sci-fi stories, but whose aesthetics and powers are pure fantasy-- Quoi's a dryad wizard and Teddy is King Arthur, if King Arthur was a gay anthropomorphic dragon.
Anyways, that's my Wiccan+Hulkling pitch. The first arc is Billy and Teddy facing off against Sequoia in a magic forest that he's grown on his new planet, only to find out that they've been set up by Mother.
In the second arc, the three of them grudgingly team up against Mother while hashing out their shared backstories and giving Quoi, who's literally never had peers to relate to, a chance to fully come to grips with the way he was conditioned and manipulated by his father. Instead of conjuring dead parents, Mother seems to be able to summon dead children, which makes her particularly dangerous around the Cotati, Kree and Skrull, who've just emerged from a war and have countless recent dead.
In the third arc, Mother has freed R'kll and they've set their sights on Earth. Billy heads out with America and Tommy to ask Loki for advice on defeating her, while Teddy brings Sequoia before the Avengers as his charge in order to ensure that Quoi receives provisional immunity.
Loki is able to provide insight on how Mother might have been summoned and what the parameters might be for breaking the spell that's tethering her to Earth-616. It turns out that Mother is essentially holding Anelle's soul hostage and has been appearing to R'kll in her form. Mother's hold, at this point, has spread to the entire Alliance, and Teddy will have to defeat her or else she'll use it to destroy Earth and decimate his nation in the process.
Teddy recruits Wanda to help face Mother down. (side note, I'm desperate to see more of their relationship as in-laws.) Wanda agrees to work with Sequoia but insists on calling Mantis and making them talk.
The final showdown is the three boys, plus Wanda and Mantis, against Mother, R'kll, and an army of dead alien soldiers. Mantis and Wanda are able to pull Anelle's soul from Mother's grasp, but this doesn't banish her-- Mother's true anchor was R'kll, who'd been carrying Anelle's ghost in her heart ever since the destruction of Tarnax.
R'kll believes that she's always acted in the best interest of her nation, and she thought that bringing back Teddy's mother would finally make him see her way. Anelle and Teddy have a tearful reunion, but he admits that the only mother he's really mourned was the woman who raised him.
Wanda, Mantis, and Anelle, as a trio of mothers united with their lost sons, are able to reverse and seal Mother's power, which was based on lost children. They are not able to banish her, however, until R'kll steps forward and sacrifices herself, believing now that the best she can do for her nation is to rid the Alliance of the curse she brought upon it.
R'kll and Anelle begin to dissipate, but R'kll's sacrifice has called forth the spirit of Mrs. Altman, who is finally granted some closure and dignity in death by getting a chance to see how far Teddy's come and the peace that he's built in her memory.
Lots of crying! I made this sad. I'm sorry.
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Welcome to DG’s Listing of Wish These DLC Existed, where I theorize, speculate, and just kinda generally throw ideas at the wall about DLCs for games I love that never happened and never will happen, but damn, I’d like to see them anyway.
Because I have ideas, I can’t get them made as mods, I don’t have time to make them into fic, and they’re never going to happen anyway, so why not put them up in a public place? After all, they’re tie ins to games I have no control over anyway, so it’s not like I’ll ever make money off of them anyway. And, as I’m not bound by any hardware limitations in terms of crafting ideas, or production cycles dictating when the game’s endpoint is, these can and do go on a great deal longer than the standard lifespan of a game.
A review of the format: There will be a name for the DLC, a brief synopsis, a reference to when this hypothetical DLC would become available/if and when it becomes unavailable, and then an expansion/write up of the ideas going in to them. Some ideas will have more expansion than others, because I’ve just plainly put more thought into them - in a lot of cases, I wrote them down just on the basis of ‘this idea seems pretty cool,’ and then gave them more context later on.
Feedback is welcome! Like an idea? Don’t like an idea? I welcome conversation and interaction on these ideas. Keep it civil, remember that these are just one person’s ideas, we can discuss them. Perhaps you’ll even help inspire a part two for these write ups! Because I do reserve the right to come up with more ideas in the future - these are the ideas that I’ve had to this point, but the whole reason this series exists is because I come up with new ideas for old stories.
So I HAVE actually been working on my ongoing series of hypothetical DLC to games that I love over the last year (it was the end of January 2020 when my last one of these got posted, this is going up at the beginning of May 2021). Which, yes, some is pandemic related because *screams* but... I was looking over what I’ve been working on, and realized that I was at about the combined length of my first two of these in my present examination, and I was only about a third of the way through the ideas that I had. I could either keep going and do these all at once in a massive post in like another year or two, or I could break it up into chunks.
So instead of waiting, this is going to be Part 1 of (I hope) 3 in an examination at ideas and possibilities of what additional content could have been made for Mass Effect 2, which for some is considered the best of the series. Me, I’m a little more critical of it. To me, this game is a textbook example of bridge syndrome, of the plot spinning its wheels to hold off on the payoff until the third part of the trilogy - the Collectors are, in practice, an entirely separate threat from the Reapers, even acknowledging the connection in the plot. We see this in the impact that the ME2 characters have in the next game - most are in side missions, all perform roles in the plot that literally can have them swapped out, even if it’s to the ultimate detriment of your War Asset count.
So in my mind, there’s a lot of room to make these DLCs, these glimpses into further areas of the world of Mass Effect at large. Because for me, what ME2 SHOULD have been was about making the alliances with the galaxy at large, rather than the big set piece of the Suicide Mission. We got some of this in ME2 proper, but that’s where the core of my focus and attention is with these DLCs.
Admittedly, I am aware of the difficulties of working around ME2 having both optional companions (Thane, Samara, and Tali don’t have to be recruited at all, Zaeed and Kasumi are DLC, many missions are available before you necessarily pick up certain companions...) and the ability to hold off on doing the DLC until after the Suicide Mission, where any or all of your companions may end up dying. However, for simplicity’s sake (because these things are long enough as it is without having a dozen variations apiece), we will assume that all companions are recruited and alive for the sake of plot advancement. Minds greater than mine can figure out how these would work without a given character – me, I tend to clear out the quest log before the Suicide Mission (aside from Lair of the Shadow Broker and Arrival, both of which are minimal on the squadmates from the rest of the game) and rarely let myself lose someone on the Suicide Mission, and since these are my ideas, we’re working in my framework.
Also, timeline note: Like ME2′s actual DLC, the fact that these would unlock at certain points in the game’s timeline does not necessarily reflect when they would best be played in the in-game timeline. Like Lair of the Shadow Broker and Arrival are (as I mentioned above), at least in my personal timeline, post-Suicide Mision content. BUT, they both become available to play after Horizon. Just because they unlock at certain points in the plot, that doesn’t mean that they best fit the timeline in that point. It was just a convenient way to organize things in my notes. So there will be ones that unlock at plot point A, but probably play best after plot point B. Players would be able to decide where they fit as it works for them.
Ghost of the Machine
A phenomenon is spreading across colonies in Citadel space. Machine cultists are cropping up on planets. Shortly thereafter, these colonies go dead quiet – often overrun by husks. To Admiral Anderson, this sounds like Reaper tech, and there’s only one person who he trusts to investigate the truth of the machine cults...
(Post-Freedom’s Progress)
So back to the machine cultists. In our last installment, there was Evolution, which featured them. Here, though, we’re looking at something that kinda resolves this little storyline. Y’know, since ME3 isn’t really going to have the time for this sort of thing. Which, sure, I’m saying this becomes unlocked before you can unlock this game’s machine cultist sidequest, but shush – just because it unlocks at this point doesn’t mean it has to be played at this point. This time, it’s not just about learning about the problem, but we’re also going to see what we can do to understand it, especially since we’re now acknowledging that this is a recurring problem within the universe and maybe we want to find a proper solution to it before stumbling blindly into it gets more and more people killed.
So this takes Shepard to a planet that’s making its first steps at colonization, yet again (because I am trying to be cognizant of what practical realities exist in the game development, even acknowledging that this is a hypothetical thing anyway – early colonization means limited extras wandering around out in the open and a self-contained area to play around in). Those seem to be the places where these devices mainly get uncovered, so that’s why this is here.
Of course, we have a situation where the devices are known about, so there’s an immediate lockdown, and the reason that Shepard and crew are getting sent out is because Reaper experience is needed – in the event that this colony can have anyone saved, who is it and how do we get them out safely?
I kinda look at this as revealing the process – the previous encounters were the parts that told us the existence of the metaphorical monster of this story, here we’re getting to see the “monster” properly in action. And I feel like this should be about also introducing some of what will become ME3’s foot soldiers among the Reaper armies – we know about the husks from ME1, now we’re going to encounter another for the first time. Probably the marauders. Given that they and the cannibals (who are so numerous in part because of the batarian worlds being first in the invasion path) are the most numerous in ME3 aside from husks, we should at least get to see them be pre-established because of their involvement ahead of time – they don’t get any proper introduction as is in ME3, just accepted as being there.
The honest general idea in this one is tying off this thread that was seemingly built, by way of being a repeated thread in both ME1 and ME2, but goes entirely unmentioned in ME3. Obvious reasons are obvious, but that’s why these hypothetical DLCs “exist,” to address things that the games didn’t have time for. (And that’s a big part of a lot of these, so... buckle up.)
Obviously, we have some of the supplementary material to work off of here – I’m specifically thinking of the Illusive Man’s comic series, Evolution. (Side note, TIM’s involvement there should probably also be part of the reason he’s quick to send Shepard in here – he knows what these artifacts can do.) You can read the wiki page as easily as this, but to quickly detail the important part, we know what these are through them, artifacts meant to ease the way for the eventual arrival of the Reapers by doing the huskifying work ahead of time, without the need for things like the Dragon’s Teeth (which... I want to bring these into this in some fashion, considering they seemed to have importance in ME1, but as the numbers of husks increased in the later games, they fell by the wayside – ME3 claimed that they were basically just to increase a subject’s adrenaline and spread the Reaper tech through the victim’s body quicker from the fear of impalement, and that seems like a lot of effort for little reward, since nothing indicates a way to come back after infection anyway).
So why are these on far-flung colonies, especially when the husks definitely don’t have the mental capacity to control ships and spread out that way?
Since, again, there’s no way to come back after infection anyway, that’s going to be one of the core questions. This seems like a highly inefficient way to set about conquering the galaxy. Why spread this if there’s no reliable method of getting it to go beyond any singular world? (Obviously, the original idea seems to be a) BioWare shock value and b) something to horrify the audience with no reason attached – so it’s time to add that reason). What is the purpose?
So that’s going to be a running thread, probably the major subplot of the story. Obviously, though, the first priority is Shepard trying to escape getting caught up in this colony that is descending into Reaper control. Also, since I said we’re introducing the marauders here, I think we need a turian contact on the ground – I almost said make them a female turian, introduce them to the world of Mass Effect well ahead of the DLC for ME3 (a-HEM!), but I also think that we’ve got another situation of seeing them get infected and die as a result – it IS a consistent point in this series that coming back from Reaper infections Is Not Done. And repeating that here makes it a consistent theme, considering Nyreen.
So while I still say there should be female turians making their appearance among the turians of the colony, our turian buddy is going to be a guy, just for the sake of not stuffing another named female turian in the fridge. I’ll get to a more proper introduction of a female turian later, promise. (And, I like to imagine, with the number of DLCs I’m writing up here, there’s some kind of ability to retroactively introduce female turians into the crowds in the base game as a “patch” through at least one of them, as well as into ME3 proper... Hey, this is all fantasy as it is, let me have that one.)
Anyway, the turian contact is going to be frosty with Shepard – he (I don’t have a name for him at this point) not only doesn’t trust Cerberus, he was also friends with Saren, making him distrust Shepard. While Saren was a traitor, it’s got an element of ‘guilt by association’ to have had close ties to him, so Shepard’s kind of a living embodiment of the hit to his good name. Even if he didn’t do what he did because of Shepard specifically, they’re still associated. But he is still on a mission and Shepard is here and willing to assist him, so...
That said, he’s a Cerberus contact – Cerberus may be human first, but, given the ME2 crew, they can cultivate non-human contacts and aid, and under the circumstances of this colony, being a joint endeavor of humans and turians (probably throw in some callbacks to the last edition of these hypothetical DLCs and mention Ambassador Goyle and the Planet of Peace story). He’s been influenced by Cerberus operatives because hey, it’s good for humanity and turians to make peace if there’s a greater threat, right? Shepard meets with him on the outskirts of the colony proper – in order not to be influenced, they’re acting as much outside of the colony as possible. (Come to think about it, it might be a good idea to make recruiting Mordin a pre-req for this, at least handwave him having come up with a measure meant to protect from Indoctrination and the effects of these artifacts.)
The artifact is already influencing colonists, of course, and our turian friend is ready to write them off immediately – they’ve read the reports, and indoctrination can’t be reversed. I picture a brief discussion about how horrible indoctrination is as a weapon, making the Reapers enemies into their servants, and so warping their minds and perceptions that they’d never be able to trust that any thought they have afterwards is their own, even if they could be saved. Because seriously, that’s one of the most unsettling things for me in this franchise.
The idea is, of course, to get in to where this artifact is and destroy it unseen. That probably means a stealth segment through this colony – honestly, do it like the batarian base in Arrival, I don’t think that it would be so bad. That offered some nice variation, if a little spare on interactable things. Here are going to be some interactable things, things you can get to if you’re good, pay enough attention to the line of sights and such, but will still risk discovery.
Those interactable things are going to be some of the background of the artifact and what’s the whole deal – y’know, codex stuff, things that aren’t essential to the story but good background. Lay some groundwork for the idea of what the Reapers want out of these things being left behind.
Stealth section comes before the inevitable action section, of course. Here, the artifact is in underground caverns (like normal) and our turian buddy sets out to make some quick scans, get the information they need. And, of course, it activates at his approach, zapping him with energy. He tries to shake off any effects but... Well, I already said that he was gonna get infected and die.
So here’s where we start seeing the husks show up. It’d be really nifty if we could get them in varying states of their evolution (or devolution, depending how you look at it), some people just having glowing eyes, others being full on huskified.
And, of course, our turian contact is now in the process of becoming a marauder. I’m thinking we’re having something of the same thing as with Saren here – now that the Reapers made contact with him, they’re framing him as their “herald,” the one who’s going to act as their instrument. Shepard rightly gets to point out the comparison, which does at least get some hesitation – he’s being indoctrinated, is in the process of becoming a pure Reaper tool, but isn’t all the way there yet, the process isn’t 100% immediate.
Also I figure this is a good time to really establish (in terms of ME2’s plot) that the Reapers are so interested in Shepard and why. Like, yeah, sure, we do get Harbinger’s whole thing, but that’s not really a dialogue where we get to ask questions. It’s not even an interrogation where Harbinger demands information. Harbinger just spouts out dialogue of “this hurts you” and such. That’s not really telling us anything. So, yeah, there’s the basic “Shepard defeated a Reaper,” but hey, let’s just get a little more out of it.
I mean, we can intuit what Shepard means for the Reapers, sure, but if it’s important enough to be a major motivation, it’s important enough to say outright, you know? So Shepard is a pinnacle for this cycle – they killed a Reaper, delayed the advancement of the cycle for a few years, that’s a bit of a big deal when it comes before the harvest proper starts up – and the Reapers (like Leviathan will later) want to better understand what makes them tick. If this is unique to Shepard or the human condition, and, if it’s the later, how to break this down to its basic chemical composition and make it their own.
Turian buddy is also here to mouthpiece the explanation for what the Reapers even expect to gain from this. Slaves who can’t operate the mechanisms that they’ll be using are poor servants. I figure it’s as much an intimidation matter as anything – prompt the effective burning of a colony without deeper investigation, sow some fear about the unknown and keep people staying to the comfortable and familiar areas of the space that they live in, corral them in the familiar patterns. It’s a plan with the intent of intimidation – it isn’t until the harvest that they need the servants, so until then, they just want the borders firmly established.
Seems simple enough, sure, but this is still a mystery as far as the game proper is concerned, and I am trying to work within the established structure of the trilogy, rather than come up with some massive reveal that changes our understanding of everything – if I WERE just going to rewrite the franchise, I could do that, instead of writing up synopses of add-ons to the main game, y’know?
Of course Shepard’s gonna get free – I’m thinking that it’s a rescue effort by some of the other crew on the Normandy (because it really bugs me that, when the game is focused around Shepard gathering up the “Dirty Dozen” for their “Suicide Squad” (look, I had to get that out of my system), they only take two members out on missions at a time, so hey, look, they get up to something while Shepard’s busy doing the dirty work. This being ME2, we have to shoot our way out even further to get back to the artifact, which is where our turian ‘friend’ waits.
Paragon/Renegade choice here – do we try and reach out to him, get him to help us blow the artifact to hell, or just jump straight to the boss fight? By this point he has some additional help, by way of our introduction to a harvester – these were dropped into ME3, on Menae, with no exploration, and non-Reaper ones were meant to be enemies during the development of this game, so call this the natural evolution of matters. We’re introducing the marauders and the harvesters ahead of time, explaining the lack of fanfare that these enter the “proper” storyline with. The difference is if our turian friend is aiding us or the harvester, the harvester being our big end boss for this DLC.
The harvester gets killed, the artifact is blown up with the turian (he chooses to remain if Paragoned, a reminder of the permanent effects of the indoctrination process and how this is something that can’t be fixed – hammer home some of the fear and anguish that will be impacting those left behind from the inevitable fighting). Shepard returns to the Normandy for a debrief (I do kinda picture Miranda being involved in that, because, again, squadmates get additional dialogue here, and she IS the ranking Cerberus officer). Also some set up about discussing about Cerberus efforts to better understand indoctrination (foreshadowing for Henry Lawson’s experiments on Horizon next game).
Post Game Followups:
ME3: Indoctrination has seen further study, providing a war asset. Dialogue changes to reference Shepard having encountered marauders and harvesters before.
Commander Shepard
The Suicide Mission is coming, and the Illusive Man has asked for all of Shepard’s companions to have their heads cleared. Now it’s Shepard’s turn. Their burdens have remained – the loss of the Normandy, the death on Virmire, and their death at the hands of the Collectors. The rest of the team has to clear their heads, and now so must Commander Shepard.
(Post-Horizon)
Yeah, why is it that, while we’re dealing with having to clear the heads of our crew, our PC, who has canonically been killed and resurrected, does NOT have to do this? So, yeah, Shepard needs a good head clearing. (For the record, I have written a fic of this: Lazarus Risen, and that’s effectively where I’m going with this, so if you’re so inclined, check it out instead of reading this, since while the recap is shorter, the fic itself is not too long.)
So, if you don’t want to read that, my idea when I made the fic was to explore both the idea of “Commander Shepard’s loyalty mission,” or the one where Shepard clears their head, AND the thought of just what the heck required Shepard to take all their companions on a mission and leave the Normandy vulnerable to the Collector attack after obtaining the IFF. Now, I’m saying that this mission unlocks after Horizon, but in my mind, that’s when and where this mission takes place. I just don’t know how to implement it within the game design that presently exists, so we’re gonna leave that open to player interpretation.
So the starting point of the fic (and thus, this DLC – like I said, that’s effectively where I’m going with this) is that Kelly Chambers, in her role as the Normandy’s official unofficial counselor/therapist, has recognized that Shepard has a lot of trauma associated with their death and resurrection they have not worked through, and so that’s gone into her reports to the Illusive Man. Mister Illusive contacts the Normandy, declaring that Shepard’s going in to a Cerberus facility, along with their crew, for a full psychiatric workup – the mission is too important to not have all these issues dealt with before going into things.
A bit of fun with this, on the basis of it being why Shepard is taking their whole squad off the ship, is that there’s the opportunity for some banter and genuine crew interaction, something that is sadly missing from the base game itself. Since I’m me, and this is about what I want from these, this is also an opportunity for some character stuff with Shepard, both playing referee (maybe getting a chance to recover some of the loyalty divisions from the confrontations if need be?) and getting to be able to better build and display the growth these characters are going through from seeing their loyalty missions resolved (cuz you DO resolve all the loyalty missions before activating the Reaper IFF, right?). The whole point of doing them was to clear their heads, encourage growth, and the thing is, we don’t get much of that forward arc in ME2, with ME3 just catching us up later. At least half the point of these is some retroactive continuity to smooth out the trilogy’s edges, after all.
Moving on. The arrival at the Cerberus Station (I am assuming this is the same one from the early part of the game, the one Miranda and Jacob take Shepard after they escape the Lazarus facility, though it doesn’t have to be, just a convenient use of model reuse) is uh... complicated. After all, Shepard’s motley crew is not exactly Cerberus approved (even if TIM authorized it – remember how Brooks in Citadel will mention that “Cerberus was a human organization bringing in aliens”?). There is a stir. A handful of situations have to be defused before everything properly gets under way.
This isn’t in my fic because that was focused on the one thing, while, as DLC, this would have to fill out some additional content to justify the time spent and the resultant price tag players spend to buy it, but I kinda figure this is where we can start seeing where the dissent is for Miranda in particular (probably Jacob too), given her Cerberus loyalties. This is a Shepard-focused mission, but I do see Miranda having a relatively decent role in any sidequests, character bits, and dialogue, given that we presently have in her a Cerberus loyalist right up to the point that she sees the human Reaper in the endgame. Especially if she isn’t part of the endgame squad, I feel we should have some material that connects those dots somewhat. I mean, I expect all the characters SHOULD get some, but Miranda in specific is the one with the almost explicit arc of taking her from Cerberus loyalist to her “consider this my resignation” remark to the Illusive Man at the endgame.
The Cerberus station director (my fic said her name is Doctor Nuwali, so we’ll be going with that) tries to organize the chaos that is Shepard’s squad (Shepard being as helpful or obstructionistic as the player chooses to allow, because Cerberus and authorities figures are always fun to poke at, and we’re getting both of those rolled up in one). Building off the above point with Miranda, there’s also clearly tension between her and Nuwali – Nuwali is, in many ways, a reflection of who she was at the start of the game, the pure, uncompromising believer to the cause and the results-driven focus without acknowledging the human cost, while Miranda has been in the position of growing and developing and questioning (Like I said, connective tissue for her character arc).
Nuwali directs Shepard into a private room for their psych evaluation, insisting on the separation of Shepard from the squad. (Just go with it, it’s for plot purposes.) Within is a prothean artifact, and it begins to react at Shepard’s arrival. It flashes-
-and Shepard finds they’re now in the Virmire facility. This is the requisite combat segment stuff that I can brush past during the recapping. The point is that they’re making their way through the geth to the area where the bomb was deployed, to find Ashley or Kaidan, whoever was left behind on Virmire (even if they were left with the distraction team and Shepard didn’t go back for the bomb, Shepard is guaranteed to have been at the bomb site, not the other area, so...).
They assist Shepard in clearing out the geth and then go into confrontation mode – “you’re working with Cerberus now, what the hell?” You know all the fan debates about why is Shepard working with Cerberus, given the horrors they uncover in ME1, especially if you roll a Sole Survivor (and, considering that is the default Shepard background, that’s clearly BioWare’s preference, so it’s not even like this shouldn’t come up – DLC is better than nothing, you know?).
Yes, we’re doing a “defending your life” style thing here. Hey, the game could use that, considering how Cerberus is the bad guy and we’re working with them. We deserve a more critical examination of this concept.
It’s a bit of a verbal joust – Ashley/Kaidan question what Shepard’s doing, their purpose in working with Cerberus, why they aren’t just leaving, how they could have tried to turn them in to the Alliance and the Council after they were given the Normandy and use the information in the ship’s databases as evidence of the Collector threat? There were ways for the story to progress that weren’t this deal with the devil. Shepard gets to acknowledge their points, struggle to justify what they’re doing. Emphasizing that this IS a deal with the devil, and if Shepard doesn’t find a loophole out of it, they’ll be condemned alongside Cerberus as well – not blowing them to hell in the here and now can make them culpable for their future activities, especially if Cerberus tries to bank on the idea of “Commander Shepard worked with us” (like they do with Conrad Verner in ME3).
Call it “preempting the ‘we should have been able to side with Cerberus’ discussion” that cropped up after ME3 – people, we ARE talking about a xenophobic terrorist group, how were they EVER gonna come out of this series looking like the good guys in the final analysis?
The ultimate point is that this is not a good situation – whatever good might come of Cerberus in general, Cerberus cannot be trusted. Ashley/Kaidan point blank ask can Shepard truly justify staying with them, doing the Illusive Man’s bidding, regardless of their good intentions. And I don’t really think there’s a good answer here – again, in my head, this plays as the mission Shepard’s on when the Collectors attack the Normandy, and, because I make sure to do all the loyalty missions before going to the Collector Base, Shepard is about to cut ties with Cerberus by way of a massive explosion (because I’d never trust the Illusive Man with the Collector Base), this is basically laying groundwork for that moment.
If you don’t do things that way... Well, sorry, but this is my hypothetical DLC, so we’re playing things my way.
Anyway, this sends Shepard on their way to the next installment of “defending your life.” Because we’re absolutely following the Rule of Three here, so there’s more than just the one segment. More requisite combat stuff happens, this time fighting through the Citadel tower again. At the end is Saren. Because why wouldn’t we have an encounter with him when Shepard is doing questionable things in the name of defending the galaxy?
He, of course, is rather smug about the fact that Shepard is allying with the devil in the name of fighting the Reapers – to him, it comes across as something of a victory, because here Shepard is, the person who came after him for his alliance with Sovereign, having made his own deal with the devil. If Ashley/Kaidan were the angel on Shepard’s shoulder, the voice of their conscience, telling them that they are making a mistake working with Cerberus, Saren is here to be the devil on the other shoulder, pointing out all the value there is in working with them, in doing whatever the mission calls for to put an end to the Collectors and the Reapers.
One would hope that this kind of rhetoric from the villain of the first game would make it very clear that Cerberus are the bad guys. As if to drive the point home, Saren also brings up that Shepard was rebuilt by them – with what is certainly Reaper tech. Shepard has begun the process of ascending to the Reapers level, what’s some more, melding more with their tech, bringing that melding, that joining, that unification of organic and machine, to the people of the galaxy, of doing the Reapers a favor and acting as their instrument in raising up galactic civilization?
Things of course descend into a firefight (because we’ve got to have our action quota). This time, Shepard gets to pull the trigger and personally kill Saren – sure, I get satisfaction out of persuading him to shoot himself, and I can always take the other options if I’m really pressed to face off against him, but I want the visceral satisfaction of having Shepard standing over Saren themselves and pulling the trigger.
It’s the little things, you know?
Anyway, because Rule of Three, this proceeds Shepard to the third point. They are back on Lazarus Station. No combat this time, just proceeding through the halls until they find themselves in the spot where they met Jacob in the prologue. Here, they see Miranda and Liara, discussing the act of giving Shepard to Cerberus to rebuild. While at first they’re talking to each other (whether or not you want to interpret this as Shepard somehow having heard the conversation or this just being Shepard’s interpretation, that’s up to you – we’re already in the center of Shepard’s mind here, does that really need explaining?), eventually, Shepard gets to speak, raise concerns, raise their voice.
Shepard gets options – do they understand and appreciate what was done to them, the resurrection and effective drafting into Cerberus? Or are they angry and pissed off – they were dead, and then someone else comes along and decides not to let them rest. For me, this has always been an issue of bodily autonomy, where, with Liara using the reasoning, and I quote, that she “couldn’t let [Shepard] go,” SHE is the one deciding what to do with Shepard’s body. Whatever you might say about what that did to make the galaxy a better place... Was it what Shepard would have wanted done with their corpse, to be handed off to a terrorist group culpable in acts of horrific deeds so that they could play Frankenstein with it? This is, in the games proper, just completely ignored – the one option to be angry is about Liara hiding this from them, not about her DOING it, and in ME3, Shepard – without player input – frames Miranda and the Lazarus Project as “giving them back their life.”
Yeah, no. I can forgive Miranda’s actions, given her characterization is actively about her going from looking at Shepard as a resource to be tapped to a friend (or possibly lover). It’s not perfect, but it’s still part of her arc, and she does at least make an apology (even if the writing doesn’t focus on the part I want it to, that ME3 conversation being focused on her wanting to implant Shepard with a control chip).
But I NEED to be able to express anger at Liara in some way just to like her, considering her canonical reason for doing this is all about HER – not that she considered Shepard the only one in the galaxy who could stand against the Reapers, but that SHE couldn’t let Shepard go. When in my games, she has no right to that. She’s not the one my Shepard’s are in a relationship with. So what those who romance her probably see as an act of love and devotion, I, not romancing her, can’t see it as anything but an act of obsession. And, even if I have to limit myself to a mental simulacrum of her, because there’s not a better place to include such a thing in these DLCs, it will help me, because it’s at least acknowledgement that hey, maybe Shepard is kinda pissed about people making decisions about them for them.
*ahem*
Right, so, where were we? Right, the reaction to Miranda and Liara discussing what to do with Shepard’s body. So as Shepard reacts, this prompts appearances from Ashley, Kaidan, and Saren, all of them playing Greek chorus about the decisions made about Shepard and how Shepard is reacting to them all. And yes, now we have both Ashley and Kaidan, regardless of who was left on Virmire, because why not – if we have one of them showing up for this DLC, why NOT include both of them? You’d have both actors in the studio anyway, so... Basically this is the big character confrontation where they all make the points that fans can debate and nitpick over when they bring up this topic, until finally the question gets put as, effectively, “well, however you feel about it, it has been done, so what are you going to do now?”
And to answer that, Shepard has to reenter the room they woke up in. Because we’re not quite done here yet.
Yeah, that whole conversation piece? THAT was the third “fight” or “combat” scene of this sequence, done in dialogue. Think the Atris confrontation in KOTOR 2, a verbal standoff. The actual interaction that Shepard has to face in the operating room... is themselves.
And their mirror image is offering similar questions, now wanting Shepard to respond, rather than having other characters voice opinions for them. How do you play Shepard’s reaction to their death and resurrection? To the fact that they are spending this game working with Cerberus, who is responsible for a traumatic event in roughly one third of all Shepard histories? Who Shepard uncovered multiple instances of their mad science in ME1 that crossed every ethical line? Who have it repeated rather consistently, is a humanity-first organization who will put human interests (and Cerberus interests, claiming they’re the same) ahead of galactic ones? If the Collector Base has (or is) a Reaper weapon, do they legitimately trust the Illusive Man with this power? Does Cerberus or the Illusive Man REALLY deserve any loyalty from Shepard?
Think of this as “stage two” of the verbal boss battle.
So, the confrontation with themselves concludes with, effectively, Shepard making their decision for going forward – the idea is that it has all been a mental debate, Shepard talking to themselves and coming to a conclusion that they needed to make. The general idea probably is one that, if you’re an obsessive fan with a penchant for filling in the gaps of canon (hey how are you?), you may have imagined these kinds of thoughts and discussions and conversations happening, but isn’t it more satisfying to actually have them take place on screen? And two, Shepard confronting themselves is, in and of itself, always a big deal. As I said at the beginning, this is Shepard’s loyalty mission, done to clear their head. How could it not result in Shepard facing themselves and asking themselves these big questions directly?
When Shepard officially makes their decision for the forward march, you know, figuring out how to handle Cerberus from here on in, which basically come to, effectively, use them for their resources and cut them loose at the end of the crisis or cut ties now and let the chips fall – since, after all, aside from Miranda and Jacob, whose loyalties to Cerberus are already wavering, Shepard has a squad full of the most dangerous people in the galaxy, so they could handle a mutiny of any kind (and, on the player end, there’s the knowledge that, while all this is taking place, EDI is getting unshackled and effectively is capable of running the ship) – they’re kicked back to reality.
And yes, those are the only two results of this, because, just to hammer it home, Cerberus is NOT. THE GOOD GUYS. The Illusive Man is not secretly good, he’s just using the “humanity needs protection” line to justify his actions and attitudes that are about seizing power. And anyone who thought that we would, should, or could side with Cerberus come ME3 was kidding themselves.
Granted, with this line of thinking, I’m not sure what the motivation would be to give Cerberus the Collector Base at the endgame (I mean, I never have, so...). Maybe the idea of “indoctrinate yourself, get taken in by the Reapers, you bastard,” but... That doesn’t seem right for Shepard’s characterization. Eh, like I said, much of this is based in how I play in the first place, so if you want to try and figure that out, feel free, but my list, we go by my way of approaching things. Because that’s just how I roll.
So I haven’t explained what, exactly, this prothean artifact is. Well, it’s effectively nothing more than a plot device, but let’s say there’s a note that becomes interactable, that basically talks up the artifact as being what I’ve called it so far, something that is meant to allow the user a chance to directly interact with themselves, face the truths they deny. Again, this really is a plot device meant to allow the circumstances of the plot, and while I could go into the details of how I assume it works, it really just needs to exist, but that’s my handwave excuse to justify how it worked. It works very well, thank you for asking. The reality is the how is less important than what it brings up.
So, Shepard is back in the physical world, and sets about putting the ideas into motion – the Illusive Man wanted them here? Yeah, no. Not doing that anymore. Shepard gets their crew out of there, upsetting doc Nuwali (giving the impression that there were some sketchy ideas in mind for Shepard’s companions when they were alone themselves, invasive procedures that they’d knock them out and see if they could take them apart and put them back together, now loyal to the Cerberus banner that sort of thing) and has a brief chat with Miranda as they fly back to the Normandy.
...You know, which, based on my time table, is currently under Collector attack. Fun times!
Post Game Followups:
ME3: The artifact as a war asset, reports about Nuwali being captured by Alliance officers while in the process of having attempted some of those ‘sketchy ideas’ she’d meant to enact on Shepard’s companions.
The Lights of Klencory
The planet Klencory is rumored to hold secrets regarding ‘the machine devils.’ Admiral Hackett of the Alliance has suspicions these are references to the Reapers, and has been secretly investigating these. Now, a team of Alliance soldiers have vanished out there, and he’s calling in Commander Shepard as a specialist, along with an old friend...
Bonus Companion: Ashley Williams/Kaidan Alenko
(Post-Horizon)
So back on the old days of the BSN, before Arrival came out, the speculation was, after Lair of the Shadow Broker, that the successive DLC would feature Ashley or Kaidan, give them the same treatment Liara got by featuring them in a DLC. One of my favorite ideas featured the concept of the “machine devils” of Klencory. You know, the planet blurb from ME1 where a volus is digging into a planet in search of evidence of “lost crypts of beings of light,” the indication being that he’d had his mind scrambled by a prothean beacon. So, hey, guess where we’re going?
I mean, obviously Illium, duh.
Actually, that’s not a bad starting point. Illium in general seems to be fairly neutral territory – sure, technically a planet in Citadel space, given its an asari world, but with many Citadel laws relaxed, it makes for a place where “an Alliance operative” will meet with Shepard (We’re starting by way of a letter from Hackett, for the record) without it being considered suspicious behavior by those looking in who are not in the know about the tacit support that both Hackett and Anderson are offering Shepard. There’s a lot of questions coming into this on Shepard’s part, given that, at this point in time, they’re not really an Alliance officer, and yet this is apparently something that is getting them called on? Probably means Reapers.
It gets complicated once Shepard arrives for the meeting and finds Ashley/Kaidan is their contact.
So, before we go further, I want to acknowledge, by the nature of having any real contact between Shepard and Ashley/Kaidan between the encounter on Horizon and the opening of ME3, I am effectively breaking one of my cardinal rules for these, namely the idea of not screwing with the pre-existing structure of the games’ plots in allowing Shepard and Ashley/Kaidan SOME form of genuine contact and communication, to the point of a chance for a legitimate conversation about things and where they stand with one another (Yes, the previous entry was bending that rule, but this is an outright breaking of it).
Thing is, this is one thing that really SHOULD have existed in the games proper, I shouldn’t have to have built something up to include here, and I will 100% die mad about it. Ashley and Kaidan got shafted by BioWare’s handling of things, and I’m not willing to forgive it (if you follow my liveblogs of replaying the games, you’ll know I frequently complain that Arrival really was gift-wrapped to serve this function, and yet it doesn’t so much as mentioned Ashley/Kaidan). So yeah, we’re having an opportunity to address this stuff right off, it’s taking place in the game “proper” (for a given value, considering all of this is made up, but...). I’ll get into how this will impact their interactions come ME3 in the “Post Game Followups” section, for now, we’re just going with this.
Also on the “to note” element, I am mostly going to refer to Ashley/Kaidan in the sense of swapping them into place for one another, since, obviously, they are mutually exclusive at this point in the trilogy. But I do want it understood that I am not viewing them as interchangeable characters but as individuals. Just... If I stop to explain all the little differences of how they interact with Shepard in this, the variations of what they say and do on the character level, I’d basically be writing this out twice, which this is going to be long enough as it is, you don’t need to read the plot summary twice, and I certainly don’t need to write it twice. Assume that, even if not explicitly indicated, there ARE differences in behavior and dialogue that are reflective of them as separate characters and people, even if the overall plot must go forward regardless of how differently they’d react as individuals.
And you might want to pay close attention, since there will be a lot of use of “they” pronouns ahead, since Ashley/Kaidan is more awkward to write and I make it a point to not address the player character (in this case, Shepard) by one gender or the other in these write-ups, given that that’s variable, so things might get a little confusing if you’re not paying close enough attention to the context.
So... The meeting with Ashley/Kaidan begins... awkwardly. They’re uncertain how to really react to Shepard – sure, the encounter on Horizon means they know that Shepard is back, but now they’re really having to deal with this particular reality. So they’re going to aim to jump to business. Alliance intel has intercepted some messages from mercs hired out near Klencory, which got Admiral Hackett paying attention to things happening out there – like Shepard will acknowledge, between the circumstances of this meeting and the quick summary of the reason for the mercs all being out there, this sounds like it’s connected to the Reapers. Hackett wants to have Shepard as a “special consultant” as the Alliance has someone (re: Ashley/Kaidan) investigate (“consultant” since Shepard may not have had their Spectre status restored, so it gives them legitimacy either way). It could, potentially, just all be a massive coincidence. But since when are things ever “just” a coincidence?
Ashley/Kaidan are willing to use the Normandy as transport – Hackett figured that, between the stealth systems, and the lack of official Alliance authority in the area, the Normandy is the better option for getting there without being told to get lost. The bigger question is how they’ll be received – it’s not like merc gangs take well to outside interference, and the Alliance having any jurisdiction out there is questionable at best. But they should at least TRY to go in with civility. If this volus billionaire spending all this money on this (his name, for the record, is canonically given as Kumun Shol, so hey, less work for me, having to come up with a name!), then if he hears from someone who seems to be taking him seriously, it might get them invited in explicitly.
Obviously, though, if they’re hitching a ride on the Normandy, if things remain unspoken, the trip out there will be very awkward and seem longer than it is. So they have to address Horizon. They’re not going to apologize for not joining Shepard – Shepard is still operating on a ship flying Cerberus colors, even with good intentions, that is a betrayal of their oaths to the Alliance, Cerberus are terrorists and xenophobes, who want to secure human dominance. But they will acknowledge that they reacted to Shepard’s return in a way that wasn’t their best. I am not going all the way to “they admit that they were wrong,” because based solely on the information that they had, they handled things as best as they realistically could. But they will regret that things ended on the terms that they did.
Shepard gets to respond to that – are they accepting that it was a bad reaction to unexpected information, do they still hold a grudge, whatever. The conversation continues to a point of conclusion – Ashley/Kaidan don’t trust Cerberus, they want to trust Shepard, but the connection between the two at the moment makes that difficult, and they don’t know how to bridge that gap as things stand, but they’re going to try this.
We will be coming back to this, never you fear. But, of course, that’s more for the ending than it is the beginning, and this one conversation is far from the end.
Klencory is a world with a toxic atmosphere, so they first have to gain access to a semi-decent landing zone near where Shol has established himself. Because, naturally, he’s not interested in visitors – the brief communication we get with him is him effectively talking himself into the idea that Shepard is “the agent of the machine devils,” which... I mean, considering the prothean beacons and communications with the Reapers, it’s not crazy that he goes there, even if (by the rest of his actions), Shol’s gone a little nuts.
Shooty shooty bang bang, fight through the exterior guards and into the facility proper. Ashley/Kaidan are a little uncomfortable about what’s gone on – this really isn’t how they pictured things going, given the legitimate credentials they were supposed to be coming in with, and they can recognize the fighting is because of Shol not giving them an alternative, but it does still make them feel like they’re acting as little more than the thugs they’re dispatching.
Call this a reaction to the fact that Shepard doesn’t exactly get much of a differentiation in the game themselves. Particularly when they can call out looters on Omega while swiping whatever’s not nailed down.
This is another conversation that’s going to be part of that “coming back to” thing – assume there’s some kind of tracking metric for all of this in the same vein as how ME3 tracked how Ashley/Kaidan responded to Shepard as a lead in to the confrontation during the coup. Just, I’ll get to how that all plays out at the end.
Because a band of mercs aren’t enough to hold off Shepard, Ashley/Kaidan, and the third companion (yay party balance), they reach Shol’s central command. He’s a little batty, but it finally gets through to him that Shepard is not the agent of the machine devils. He is skeptical of Shepard being the savior from them, though. Instead, he wants Shepard and company to do something for him.
There is a vault. A vault none of his men have come back from. Shol declares that, if Shepard can enter, learn its secrets, and survive, then they will have proven themselves to be salvation from the machine devils. Since this is the advancement of the plot, Shepard will have to go ahead with this, even with the natural objections of Ashley/Kaidan (and, probably, Shepard themselves).
Another pause for a dialogue – Ashley/Kaidan are skeptical of Shol’s motives, and believe it may be too dangerous to just do what he says. Especially considering that he’s clearly not entirely stable. This is a situation that really calls for calling for backup. But there’s really not the option of waiting, because if they don’t do as Shol says, he’ll throw all his mercs at Shepard – even if we’re assuming that Shepard versus countless mercs ends well for Shepard (because, after all, it’s Shepard), it’s just a senseless loss of life.
Going in is a set piece of suspense. Think the Peragus mine, with a dash of Korriban for good measure, from KOTOR 2 – lot of littered corpses, this creeping and foreboding unease and feeling of being watched, this overbearing expectation of SOMETHING appearing down every dead end... Build the tension. This is a place that, the littered dead aside, no one has entered in thousands of years, it should absolutely be a place that could chill you to the bone. The examination of anything should feel like it’s disturbing the dead.
You know there’s some ancient security device active, right? I mean, something’s killing the people who trespass here. Obviously, it has to be something that will put up a fight as our end boss, and it needs to be something that is able to last a long time. I’m thinking an ancient robot (my mind is going in the direction of something similar in design to the ancient droids of KOTOR’s Star Forge), a last defense, left behind by a precursor to the protheans.
Yeah, it feels like an underwhelming result to me too, but it makes logical sense all the same – we have some evidence of things from prior cycles, not just the prothean cycle, making it through to the next ones, not the least of which is the plans for the Crucible. Seeing as how that bit of intel is just dropped into our laps come ME3, this is at least making it functionally foreshadowed, if indirectly, by actually showing us ancient technology that is still functional and viable even after more than fifty, a hundred thousand years. Plus the foreshadowing of things surviving to this cycle in the vein of Javik. Things lasting this long in forms beyond just ruins at least makes all of that happening in ME3 at least have some groundwork laid in these prior games – otherwise, we only have a few codex references to ancient civilizations, as opposed to it being an actual component of gameplay, things that the player MUST interact with.
But yeah, the threat may be underwhelming, but the payoff is what it guarded – the last remnants of this ancient culture. The corpses have been preserved, given that it’s a bunker into the planet’s mantle – the toxic nature of the atmosphere now came about because of the Reapers, though, of course, this is only spoken of in the material available as “the machine devils.” There could be a great wealth of information among this stuff.
Thing is, now that the threat’s dealt with, Shol wants his prize. He spent years of his life and a great deal of his money on this, and now he wants to use it – and, because he still is a paranoid bastard, he’s not particularly inclined to uphold his end of the bargain, having expected to have Shepard and the “guardian” of the tomb (for lack of a better term) kill each other. He just wants all of this to increase his own fortune – he’ll sell everything within to the highest bidder and damn what the Alliance, the Citadel, anyone might be able to get from the archives. Giving it to private collectors – like, say, the Illusive Man, or even any interested faction of capital-c Collectors (as in “the enemies we fight throughout ME2”) – will enrich him and it doesn’t matter what that information might do to help make the galaxy ready for war against the Reapers.
Now, normally you would think this would lead to a Paragon/Renegade choice. BUT, instead, we’re going to have a variation moment for Ashley and Kaidan. They’ll deal with Shol, but in unique ways. Ashley, having marine hand to hand combat skills (as she mentions in character discussion during the first game), manages to get close and disable the volus’s suit enough to render him unconscious, while Kaidan uses his biotics to get the same result. So they get to have a moment of protecting Shepard (not necessarily “saving” them, because a volus getting the drop on Shepard would certainly be an embarrassing way to go, but definitely helping them sidestep a situation).
NOW’S the time for the Paragon/Renegade choice, dealing with Shol himself. He is an obstacle, considering that dealing with the legal claim to this cache of information leaves the door open to some sticky situations as a result – the last thing they need is to have anything that might be useful be wrapped up in the legal battle. But he DOES have a valid claim. Just unilaterally taking this place from him is questionable at best – even if Shepard’s still a Spectre, are they REALLY able to just come in and declare the location to no longer be the property of the individual with the legal claim on it? Likewise, there’s a lot of sticky issues with the idea of killing him – after all, as mentioned above, he does have a bunch of trained mercenaries on hand, and it’s reasonable to try and walk out without adding to the bloodshed. But if it’s made clear that his madness has overtaken him (which, I mean... it kinda HAS), then there’s room for the Citadel to be able to legally seize his assets, including his claim on Klencory and its vault. But this still means institutionalizing a person because they’re inconvenient.
That’s the choice – institutionalize Shol and seize his assets, despite the subsequent legal battle that he and his kin can draw everyone in to, or cut through the red tape preemptively, kill him, and claim what amounts to squatter’s rights, since with him dead, no one else is there to take charge of the archive, whatever it contains. Ashley/Kaidan are going to say they have no intention of letting Shepard kill Shol (because that would certainly always be a line for them), but there will be a Renegade interrupt to take that choice out of their hands anyway, and Shepard can make an argument that, if they don’t do SOMETHING, Shol’s men will come in and try to kill them, while if he’s dead, that denies them their paycheck (because for one time ever, can we just have the mercs give up and run off once the source of their paycheck is dead?!). Shol certainly isn’t going to tell them to back down, and “survival instincts” have never been at the top of their hiring priorities.
Ashley/Kaidan will have some words about the decision Shepard is making, but they can be swayed to understand Shepard’s motivations, at least, in the moment, though any disagreements they have are more in the “waiting for a more opportune moment” than “what you say goes, Commander.” More on that shortly. With that matter resolved, Shepard calls for a pickup.
Back on the Normandy, Shepard and Ashley/Kaidan are having an informal debriefing in Shepard’s cabin (save the jokes for the end of the scene everyone, we’ll get to that). They do a brief discussion of what the likely followup will be – the fact is, the Reapers are probably already uncomfortably close at the moment already, so there’s not likely to be much opportunity to examine this place too much before they show. Still, every little bit is going to help.
The big thing is going to be how Shepard’s handled things through to this point. This was an accumulation metric (in the same style as Aria showing mercy on Petrovsky or not during Omega), so the various Paragon/Renegade decisions through to this point will lead to their reaction. Paragon Shepards get Ashley/Kaidan acknowledging that Shepard is still someone they respect, and that perhaps this whole Cerberus alliance was one of necessity. Renegade Shepards are leaving them questioning what Cerberus is doing to them, and are they really the person that they once were.
That leads to the question of where they stand if they’re a romance – like with Liara in Lair of the Shadow Broker, this leads to a romance rekindling, but only for Paragon Shepard, because that’s the version that has shown that Shepard is still the person they followed to hell and back, still the person they loved.
Yes, while I try and offer reasonably similar options for both Paragon and Renegade versions of Shepard, this is dependent on that. Because it’s about setting their concerns at ease, about listening to them and allowing them to be angry and upset and come around. Renegade Shepard will have shown they don’t care about that, so why WOULD Ashley/Kaidan take them back?
Anyway, insert “debriefing” joke here.
And, y’know, a reminder that, in these DLCs I’m writing, we’re going with the assumption that Ashley and Kaidan both were bisexual romance options back in the first game, and it’s an option to rekindle for both gendered Shepards.
After the interlude (however it plays out), there’s the discussion of what’s coming next for Ashley/Kaidan. They’re returning to the Alliance, of course – with Shepard’s official ties still in limbo, taking them out of the official chain, Hackett has made them a floating troubleshooter at points where he suspects Reaper involvement in some fashion, be it machine cultists and husks, Collectors, or what have you. However they feel about Shepard, Hackett is still seeming inclined to trust them on this, so they expect that the intel will still reach Shepard as they do their work. They make it clear they expect this to be the calm before the storm, and when the fight starts, they know Shepard will be on the front line. Paragons get them promising to back Shepard up when the time comes, Renegades get them hoping that they’ll still be on the same side when that happens.
Post Game Followups:
So here’s the part where, typically, I’d talk about how this impacts War Assets for ME3. But this is giving the ability to resolve the major Ashley/Kaidan element of ME3 before we even get there (like we should have in the first place...) and that means we have to deal with that. To that end, I obviously have left the door open for the lack of trust by way of Renegade Shepard, and that’ll go through things as they are, the same as if this DLC didn’t exist (I mean, it doesn’t exist anyway, but... You know what I mean!). The alternative for a Paragon completion is that there will be a distinct lessening of the tension between Shepard and Ashley/Kaidan in ME3, leading to some serious dialogue changes on Mars – more of an acceptance, instead of distrust.
I’m also thinking that, with the air cleared, there’s no moment of hesitation among them during the Citadel Coup, that it basically defaults them to trusting Shepard, regardless of how much they interact with them in Huerta and “clear the air” of Horizon. After all, Shepard already allayed their concerns with their practical involvement, gave them the chance to see them as the person they were, rather than the possibility that they were no longer the person they trusted. This changes the dynamics of their earlier interactions, and if you have rekindled the romance during the debriefing (no I’m not going to stop using that gag), then the dialogue will have more romantic undertones, the conversations more focused on matters of both them and the future together, trying to figure out if they even have a future, what with the invasion commencing, let alone where they stand with one another in that future.
I feel like I should have more done here, really, but I am really, genuinely TRYING to remain within the basic structures of the games as they are with this, because I totally could trash them and rebuild them from the start, but that’s defeating the purpose of this as additional material to the games, so that’s the most I’m offering on that. I want to do more, Ashley/Kaidan deserve a bigger and better role in ME3’s plot (which I’ll be trying to address further when we get to the ME3 hypothetical DLC, but that’s not here), but I’m trying not to totally rewrite ME3 as it is, that would probably be its own long involved project, and this is already ongoing. The original version of events can still be involved in the game proper, as the Renegade version, but that won’t be the only version any more.
Oh, and, we’re getting some war assets out of the place we discovered. That feels like an afterthought here, though. This has been about Ashley/Kaidan and their relationship with Shepard, more than anything, and we really did deserve this as much as Lair of the Shadow Broker.
The Omega Heist
An old contact of Miranda and Jacob’s draws them – and Commander Shepard – back to Omega, where, with the merc bands decimated, an old threat they thought they’d dealt with long ago has reemerged. With Commander Shepard’s help, they must try their utmost to put this genie back in its bottle before it’s unleashed on the whole of Omega – and, potentially, the rest of the galaxy!
(Post-Horizon)
Considering Omega’s status as the dark reflection of the Citadel, the answer to it in the Terminus Systems, I just really want to explore it some more. Tie in to that, Miranda and Jacob have great prominence when they’re literally your only crewmates, but the second you start picking up the rest of the crew, they start falling off the map. Given that they’re our viewpoints into Cerberus as an organization, this feels like a mistake. Cerberus spends both the preceding and following game as enemies, and I think we need to spend some time at exploring why either of them would even fall under Cerberus and the Illusive Man’s sway.
It begins with Miranda asking to speak to Shepard. I’m gonna assume that, considering the unlock pattern of loyalty missions, this is most likely going to be played post-loyalty mission for both of them, since they’re both the first to unlock. Just to firmly establish where the characterization is going in to this. So both of them are at a point where they’re starting to question their loyalty to Cerberus (hence why I’m considering it a default that, in particular, Miranda’s loyalty has been obtained).
She’s heard from a contact on Omega about something that she wants to get Shepard involved in. The meeting moves to her office, where Jacob joins them. This concerns a mission they’d both undertaken shortly after their first mission together (see Mass Effect Galaxy, the mission Jacob talks to Shepard about having lost his faith in the Alliance over). They had an assignment to dispose of a biological sample – their assignment had been not to ‘get curious’ and investigate what it was, just get rid of it. The orders had come directly from the Illusive Man, so they were actually obeyed.
Jacob had been suspicious of the whole thing – when you’re moving something that you’re not supposed to investigate, it’s usually something that could blow up in your face. He opted for a little extra security monitoring, with Miranda agreeing and having kept track of it. That’s why this is now coming to her attention. They still don’t know what this was, but they can’t imagine that it getting let loose where any idiot could stumble across it would be a good thing.
So we’re returning to Omega. Personally, I’m disappointed that there’s no real change in Omega as ME2 carries on, even though you have to both clear out merc gangs and an active plague in the course of the game – recruiting Garrus and Mordin are mandatory quests, after all, so their joining the crew, their recruitment missions, these have to happen regardless of anything else Shepard may decide to do. So we’re getting another hub area on Omega besides Afterlife and the Gozu District market place. If Omega is the Citadel of the lawless Terminus Systems, then it can certainly fit in more of this (plus give more life to this place that, we know, will have people threatened come ME3 and the Omega DLC there).
Our central hub sector will be a safehouse established near the Kenzo District (picked because beyond existing as where Garrus had his run-in with Garm, we know nothing specific about it, so it can be used however the plot needs it to be). Under the circumstances – meaning “since we stored dangerous material on Omega without even speaking with Aria on the subject” – the idea here is stealth. Shepard, Miranda, and Jacob arrived via a transient shuttle rather than via the Normandy, and did so hopefully with some element of stealth. It’s not that Aria is going to be a threat here, just that she wouldn’t be happy learning about this going on under her nose and Cerberus is trying to cultivate some of her resources (sort of tie-in to the Cerberus takeover of Omega come ME3).
Their contact is my chance to get that female turian I mentioned a ways back into things – a turian trader who I’ll name Naevia (what, I’m a Spartacus fan and the reference makes me smile). The biological sample has fallen into the hands of a gang that’s trying to take up the space left by the biggest gangs of Omega losing their leadership (I’m thinking one of the gangs from our last edition of hypothetical DLCs, from “The Clean-Up,” because continuity!).
It’s around here that Shepard does ask the most important question on the subject that I think we’re all thinking – why the hell was this dangerous and hazardous sample kept rather than destroyed? Naevia admits she thought the same thing, but she was paid enough not to care, just to watch it. Miranda states that there was a possibility of using it for something in the future – this is a sign of her beginning to waver, because she can’t really justify the use of this sample, the fact that, though they’d been told to get rid of it, the “disposal team” had kept it, and were keeping it in a place with a population.
Granted this is a long standing tradition with dangerous science, but still, it needs to be called out.
The important thing is that it’s there, on Omega, and in particular when the station is already in the recovery process of a plague that targeted every race except humanity – there is still a lot of anti-human resentment on Omega, and the last thing that Cerberus should want is a human-spawned crisis breaking out (because no matter where the sample came from, a human organization, known to have a humans-first bent to it, was the group that stashed it here on Omega). Hence our presence.
We’re gonna have plenty of time to talk with Miranda and Jacob, so assume character conversations sprinkled here throughout (much as I cite it as reason that I don’t particularly care for their loyalty missions in comparison to others, that their loyalty missions also only have one ending, that once you start the mission, the only resolution is obtaining their loyalty, makes for a useful method of characterization trajectory here). This is here for the sake of exploring and deepening their character arcs, their division with Cerberus from the endgame, given that they’re both set against Cerberus come ME3, so we’re going with that.
We also get to spend some time with Naevia and getting a new perspective with the turians – she is a free agent, sort of like Vetra ended up being in Andromeda, in the sense that she’s a rebel to the status quo of turian military discipline. She’s looser and less rule-bound. She lives on the fringe of society and that shapes her reactions. She has no need for the turian rules of combat and prefers to take preemptive action – the rules of combat are a great idea in theory, when you have enemies who will respect them. But the Terminus is full of people who won’t. And, while she hasn’t been read into the Reaper matters, she is clearly picking up on the undercurrent between Shepard, Miranda, and Jacob.
Now if you’re assuming that this is leading to Naevia turning out to be involved in matters with this sample... Well, that’s definitely going to be a thing to follow, but let’s just keep going for now.
And yes, I have been cagey about what this sample even is. Remember, that’s because it’s a mystery even to Miranda and Jacob – they were still in a point where they were willing to listen to the Illusive Man’s orders without questioning them. The assumption was that the team they were giving it off to was a proper disposal team, and the failure of either of them to investigate it beyond his word. Y’know, the idea being they’re both starting to push themselves to look beyond the word they’re officially given by their boss and question him.
So… investigative work. We’ve already been over how in these summaries, that’s not where I focus on, not having a layout or anything to work with and such. So I’ve given the core ideas of character work and plot that plays out over the course of things, let’s cut to the climax.
The sample is being held by one of the gangs and a member of the Cerberus disposal squad. Because hey, look at that, a Cerberus agent went rogue and started killing all their guys, Commander Shepard, can you take care of that? He explains just what this sample is – a contaminant that can devastate a planetary atmosphere, hence why it was being kept on Omega, a space station. Of course, the problem with it is that it won’t discriminate and a rapid atmospheric dissolution will kill human lives as well. This is one of those things that it’s actually entirely justifiable that the Illusive Man didn’t want to use... y’know, if it weren’t for the fact that he still kept it, but...
Anyway, here’s where we come to Naevia’s sudden but inevitable betrayal, citing the profit to be earned – it’s easy enough to live on ships instead of a planet, so she’ll come out of this fine. Shepard gets the chance to shoot her with a Renegade interrupt, and look at that! She WASN’T betraying the team, just pretending to in order to slide a knife in the bad guy’s gut. It doesn’t kill him, and it still leads to a fight, but it’s easier if you don’t take the interrupt (because as much as I like the interrupt system, I think there should occasionally be consequences for taking a quick and reflexive response rather than the more considerate and thoughtful and examinative approach to a situation).
A multi-stage boss fight ensues – basic ground troops, interspersed with standard LOKI mechs, a YMIR mech joining the fight with reinforcements, and then a gunship. Maybe the gunship peels off midway and lets in another YMIR mech, just to really hammer the ‘boss fight’ element, or at the least let that be a higher level difficulty challenge. I mean you can only do so much with the mechanics of the game to create boss fights, right?
Anyway, Naevia is either dying, laughing at how her turncoat act was too effective, or she’s made it through with a few scratches and is patching them up as Miranda and Jacob are recovering the sample. Here’s the expected Paragon/Renegade choice of destroying the sample or storing it somewhere else – I can even see a reasoning for keeping in the idea of ‘once knowledge exists, it can’t just be destroyed, we need to study this to be able to devise a countermeasure.’ It’s a sucky one, for the record, but it’s a way to justify the Renegade stance.
This is where you see the culmination of Miranda and Jacob’s development. Jacob is open about wanting to correct their prior mistake of leaving this sample around to be used by anyone who might try to actually use it. No matter what, he sees no possible good coming from it and wants it destroyed. Miranda is conflicted. Her trust in the Illusive Man tells her that it would be right to hold on to this, it’s a weapon that could protect humanity if the aliens were to attack them – which is something that can’t be discounted as a possibility, considering the batarian hostility and the general aggravation of other races like the turians (see the previous Hypothetical DLC entry for more expansion on why I consider that a thing gets brought up). But she also knows that if this exists, then there’s a chance humanity can’t control it. She is looking to Shepard for guidance on this – she’s not turning to the Illusive Man’s standing orders here.
When the group returns to their safehouse, they find Aria there. Because this has been happening on Omega, and it’s her business to be fully aware of what’s happening on Omega. She thanks Shepard for disposing of that little business – if the sample was spared, she does imply that she knows about it, but, so long as it’s leaving Omega, she’s not going to be concerned about it. After all, she only cares about Omega’s interests. But, as a reward for what Shepard’s done for Omega, from the plague to Archangel to this (plus, potentially, dealing with Morinth, given that was the presence of an Ardat-Yakshi on Omega), she is offering a reward for Shepard – a penthouse suite.
Yes, I’m letting Shepard get an Omega apartment. I mean, okay, having one right before the Cerberus takeover of Omega come ME3 is not exactly the most prime real estate, but hey, Shepard deserves a place to relax, right? Plus it also comes with access to a special Omega market, a place where Shepard will be able to purchase any weapons or upgrades they might have been missed in the course of their missions (and any that get added through the DLC, including these). Because really, we should be able to have access to those things somehow, as in the game as is, if you miss it, it’s gone forever.
Anyway, Miranda and Jacob will also have follow up conversations when they return to the Normandy, discuss the way that things have played out and how they’ve evolved as people in the course of the game. Because as I said at the start, the two of them, in terms of their character development, kinda falls off the map in the course of the second half of the game. So they get a little additional content that helps fit them into the big picture of their character arcs.
Post Game Followups:
ME3: If Naevia survived, she’s an available war asset in regards to her underworld connections and such to send help Shepard’s way. If it’s kept intact, the sample also has some benefit for Alliance scientists in the study of reversing its effects and how to restore ravaged worlds. Also some additional content in the Omega DLC, though I’m not sure about the details of that right now.
And, y’know, since Naevia’s existence means that we have a female turian model built and developed circa ME2, this SHOULD mean that there are female turians scattered throughout both further DLC (as in ‘assume their existence in further installments, even if it goes unsaid’) and (because now they’d “exist” prior to the release of ME3) there would be numerous turian females in ME3 as assorted extras and such. Should go without saying, but I’m saying it. There will still be a few important female turian NPCs I introduce in further installments, but these are now part the standard background NPC collection.
Battle Scars
Alliance officers on shore leave have been disappearing from the Citadel with no trace. Ambassador Anderson suspects there’s more to this than the standard dangers of a space station that’s practically its own world. Though Shepard is in a questionable position among the Council, they’re the one person Anderson can trust to solve this.
(Post-Horizon)
The Citadel being so limited a space in ME2 always bothered me. Y’know, I get the thematic idea, that ME2 was about exploring the darker underside of the galaxy at large. But I liked the Citadel. There was a lot about it to explore, all things considered – we’re talking about the galactic hub of politics and commerce. This really should be a major location, no matter the game. And as I’ve said elsewhere, there could be a whole game set on the Citadel with room for more. So yeah, we’re doing this here, exploring an area of the Citadel that we never got to see before.
There are Alliance officers going missing and Anderson gets Shepard involved. Obviously, the synopsis covered that bit. The idea here is that we’re going into areas of the Citadel that normally, Shepard has no business in, and in areas that are more like vacation areas. You know what this means? It means we’re going to have non-combat segments, in the same vein as Kasumi’s mission. There’s gonna be an extended sequence of Shepard out of combat armor in this one, because Shepard is not being called on to be a soldier but to infiltrate and be seen as a civilian more than a combat fighter. (I’m thinking this is going to involve a new casual outfit as well.)
And we’re gonna say that this is happening at an exclusive resort, meant to be a location that’s relaxing – a resort on the Citadel, effectively. It’s primarily a place for Citadel-aligned soldiers (Alliance and other races) to recover after combat, a therapeutic place for soldiers to get treatment for their PTSD (think a place where they’d probably have sent the PTSD asari in ME3 to if there wasn’t an existential war on). It’s why it’s a popular place for these Alliance soldiers to be, and we’re also going to rate it as having the highest success rate as a psychological and therapeutic facility in the known galaxy (because, being on the Citadel, why wouldn’t a place like this have a reputation of being the best, given how the Citadel is effectively the metaphorical center of the galaxy) and it’s a bit of a mixing bowl of Citadel culture, which allows for the rest of the party to come along.
I’m going to stick with mandatory companions here for a handful of reasons – one, Shepard’s got an eclectic band, and I feel like if they walk around a Citadel resort with Grunt and Legion, for example, that’s probably going to blow their cover. For two, I like the idea of mandating some pairings and developing the relationships more. Last entry was about Miranda and Jacob. Here, I’m thinking... For a resort, I honestly lean towards Samara and Kasumi, characters who, respectively, can blend in with “high society” and can pass through unseen by others. Kasumi, of course, does her cloaking to accompany Shepard – she does prefer going unseen. Samara, though, is playing at being a Matriarch – given the setting, let’s say that she’s pretending to be looking for a facility for her rambunctious daughter who is ‘disgracing’ the family name – sort of playing on her own history with Morinth (because Samara’s method that way), while still being a role she plays.
Yes, I’m aware that Kasumi is a DLC character, not everyone necessarily has her, but hey. If you’re playing DLC in the first place, you’ve probably collected other DLC, particularly a new companion, we’re just gonna roll with it, because I’m not going to develop an alternative without her, so consider them connected – I don’t know, say they got packaged in a sale together or something. This is all hypothetical in the first place, remember, does it REALLY matter that she’s not in the base game?
Shepard, of course, is going in as what they’re looking for, an Alliance officer looking for leave. This way there can be a solo segment, and the tension of “will Shepard run into trouble they can’t handle on their own before their companions come to their rescue?” Obviously, there does have to be some addressing of Shepard’s fame and notoriety, but it’s not like Shepard’s not doing other things that are putting their famous mug in places they shouldn’t be, particularly when it comes to involving Kasumi (The Hock heist, anyone? How, exactly, was the most famous human in the galaxy supposed to keep a low profile there?). So we’re just gonna handwave that, like you do.
As always when these are investigative sequences, I’m just gonna gloss over that part for the sake of convenience – the basic facts are that we have a lot of suspects with no clear motive at the outset of things. You know, get your basic archetypes wandering around – look at any show that features a recovery center, you’ll find them, I’m not gonna go into detail on the incidental characters.
The trick is that Shepard is going to be doing their initial investigating solo – they have to get entrenched before their companions show up (given that Samara’s cover is going to have her supposedly only there to look the place over, rather than sign herself in as needing “treatment” and Kasumi is going to be cloaked, searching for the things that Shepard can’t get access to – yes, for the record, I’m setting up for a Big Damn Heroes moment, I would think that would be obvious). They’ll meet with the above mentioned archetypes, learning details.
The details are more for the flavor – how well does Shepard figure out the scheme (which I’m getting to) before the villain shows up to explain in a monologue? Because, y’know, what villain doesn’t love explaining their nefarious deeds with a monologue? Shepard figuring out more and more of the plot before they confront the bad guy will impact the way the end fight goes down – figure it all out, you can sidestep the big final confrontation, figure most of it out, the fight’s significantly easier, stick to the bare minimum, it’s the hardest it can be.
This of course gets Shepard caught by our villain of the piece. So, what’s going on? Well, it’s an attempt by one of the doctors at this facility at cooking up the same shady shit Cerberus has, in the form of cyborg soldiers – the soldiers who have been kidnapped have been converted into these cybernetically enhanced soldiers. Problem is, they’re mindless automatons – higher brain functions didn’t survive the implantation process. So while these six million credit men are superior soldiers for combat, able to shrug off the kind of injuries that would cripple any other organic soldier, probably even have like nano-tech that speeds up any kind of healing and recovery process, they’re ONLY for combat, there is no human mind, no individual still alive in these shells – they’ll do as ordered because of the computer control chips in their heads, but only because those chips fire off the impulses needed.
“No glands, replaced by tech. No digestive system, replaced by tech. No soul. Replaced by tech. Whatever they were, gone forever.”
This is a point that I wanted to bring up in Miranda’s chat about “disposable soldiers” – the concept of soldiers being disposable is the kind of thought that cleans up war, something that the very idea is MEANT to be “dirty.” When you have these disposable soldiers, something that replaces the flesh and blood troops, you’re now in a position where going to war is not a difficult choice – you’re not sacrificing anything in the fight, because your best and brightest are safely out of the line of fire. When you don’t fear war, you’re going to turn to it as the first option, not the last. And, as pointed out by the use of Mordin’s quote above, at some point, your “disposable soldiers” become exactly what the Collectors are, mindless automatons who perform the duties of their masters, and, because of that distance, their masters’ own humanity erodes, because they never have to get their own hands dirty, while their servants are incapable of arguing with the orders.
This is when we get the aforementioned Big Damn Heroes moment, where Samara and Kasumi rejoin the party – since I’m assuming Shepard is being restrained at the moment, we have Kasumi Overload the controls and get them loose while Samara covers her by biotically handling the guards (because there are always guards).
So we get to that ending of how the boss fight can go down – Shepard gets to argue about the whole “disposable soldier” thing, bringing up and expanding on the above argument. If they uncovered all the details of the plot prior to the point they’re found out and taken captive, they can talk the doctor out of the inevitable fight (they still can choose to fight, of course, but the option is there to avoid a fight altogether) and have them shut down the project, effectively take their “prototypes” of these cyborg soldiers off life support and let them all die out (because, again, it’s the cybernetics that are even keeping them alive at this point), they can try and fail because of a lack of information, or they can actually agree with the idea, just that this doctor isn’t the one to be controlling them – it’s a valid choice, after all, to have a viable standing army to face the Reapers with.
I did debate making that last an option, just because I am morally opposed to the idea, but I am trying to respect that the Paragon/Renegade division was meant to be more than “goody-two-shoes versus puppy-kicking-monster,” and approach it from a level of “win with morals versus ends justify the means” – if you’re looking for something that can face the Reapers, like Shepard is aiming for throughout the trilogy, then a pragmatic approach says “we can use this resource, and I’ll deal with the moral weight of it later.”
Thinking about it, this does kinda make a flaw of the Kasumi-Samara team, because I do struggle with seeing how they’d just casually go along with Shepard saying “zombie cyborg army? Sign me up!” But maybe the Justicar code says that, regardless of origin, their existence has purpose and use, while Kasumi is horrified at the idea of using – and defiling – the dead like this. Basically, I want there to be a shoulder angel-devil scenario here, but I may not have selected the right companion pairing for this. Still, I’m not going back and rewriting this to make that work, so we’re just going to acknowledge that and move on – they’re both on the team, and there are other Renegade choices Shepard has available that they both just accept, so we’ll accept that.
And, y’know, I have a personal preference for Paragon at these decision points, and would probably stick to choosing to wipe out the zombie cyborg soldiers myself, and these are my ideas so I roll with what works for my decision making process, so nyah.
This still leads to the question of what, exactly, should be done with this facility – this is the head of the place we’re talking about as being responsible, with them out of commission (either being killed by Shepard or taken into C-Sec custody, depending on your choice), it’s entirely possible the place will be shuttered, or at least in chaos for a time, and that means all of its current residents are going to be kicked out – this is one of those “well intentions doesn’t change negative results” scenarios. Of course, Anderson will try to step in and do something, but... He can only do so much. Especially with having to clear out the devices and secret lab material and such, there’s a lot in this that just... is not going to have this place in a condition to be what it’s meant to be. Especially if things turned into a fight with the doctor and trashed the place.
Shepard themselves can only do so much – they can make a recommendation, but ultimately, there will be a board decision. They can offer a suggestion, a way for the staff to try and focus going forward, but it’s going to mean downsizing their care in some fashion – either they focus only on the immediately at-risk patients, going in the way of ‘if you’re not an active threat to yourself or others, you have to find somewhere else to seek treatment,’ or they limit themselves to just the care of a single species, because the psychological experts for multiple species is a resource drain.
And this one is NOT a Paragon/Renegade choice. It’s player’s best take on the subject, because there is no “right” choice in this scenario. Either way, someone is getting screwed over. You can hope sending the not at-risk patients won’t exacerbate their conditions, but you can’t be sure of that – especially when it comes to people who have been there for some time, PTSD and other conditions won’t just go away, they need to be managed and treated, and if you go from one facility and one medical professional to another, that can throw off your recovery. And you can specialize in the treatment and wellness of a single species, but what about the members of the other species? What about the “melting pot” nature of the Citadel and how, realistically, reinforcing those barriers between species only makes it harder for these species to get along with one another?
It’s a “no good choice” scenario, and I think it’s worth a discussion with Anderson at the end (rather than back on the Normandy with all the companions, just because I don’t think the game can really account for everyone there having an opinion). Though let’s also give a follow-up conversation with Kelly – y’know, the therapist – and let her have more to do in this game.
Post Game Followups:
ME3: If the doctor was taken in to custody, they’re among the Cerberus scientists during the mission on Gellix – Mister Illusive stepped in to get their work under his banner, and, like Gavin Archer, Shepard’s involvement eventually made them hesitate to do his bidding. If the cyborgs were kept on, they’re a decent strength war asset.
The Batarian Connection
A Cerberus vessel goes missing out near the batarian border. While the Collectors are still the first priority for Commander Shepard and company, the Illusive Man is concerned this may be the first stage of a batarian incursion of Alliance space. He tasks Shepard and company with recovering the missing ship. The batarians, however, have other ideas...
(Post-Horizon)
We hear a lot of talk about the batarians making slave grabs throughout the first two games, and the Colonist background has this as a part of the things Shepard has been through. But we don’t actually see it. And we probably can’t manage to see the absolute worst horrors of the batarian slavers, but that’s not the full point of this.
No, the point is to start showing another face to the batarians. See, we’re going in with the idea of the batarians slavers we’re after handing off the captives they take – of various races, though krogan and turian are not likely, given their own, more aggressive nature (maybe useful in gladiatorial rings... We might be coming back to that before these DLC are done), and the quarians aren’t going to be as numerous, that still leaves humans, asari, salarians, and other batarians. And we know from Mass Effect 3, having the Cannibals being introduced in the first segment of the game, the Reapers have access to a lot of batarian genetic material, so they’ve already spent a lot of time developing how they intend to repurpose the batarians into the servants they need to wage war in this cycle.
Codex material speaks of how the Collectors want certain specific types of people to collect, and that is going to be what’s happening here – while the Collectors main focus in the game is to gather up humans to turn into Reaper slurry, we’re also looking at the other races, because there’s a history of the other races being taken by the Collectors for various unknown reasons. It wasn’t clear if there would have been an intent to build additional Reapers out of the other races – an asari Reaper, a turian Reaper, etc. - or if they’d just be left to rot, possibly slurried alongside the humans and just put in the same shell. To build off the idea of “organic preservation” of the species who consist of a cycle, I’m going to assume that they would be fused into a Reaper of their own, though there’s room to argue they were going to just be pulped into the same Reaper or left as the Collectors of the next cycle. But my ideas, my interpretation of things. And if BioWare wants to fight my interpretation, hey, should have included it in the game.
So yeah, the batarian slavers we’re coming across were going to offer the Collectors more of those captives of various races and such. The idea here is to not just have a look at the horrors of batarian slavery, but also an upfront acknowledgment that the batarians do this to their own people as well. The crappy situation for your average batarian is reduced to codex and one-liners, so we don’t actually have this knowledge available for the common players, and this is a thing that needs correcting.
We’re also going to have an encounter with a different Collector ship (just to avoid too much of the whole “small universe syndrome” of the same ship dogging Shepard for two years – it wasn’t until ME3 and James’s backstory that I got the impression that the Collectors had more than the one ship, since they made this one ship out to be this major force). Because, really, if the Collectors taking colonies was something of a plan B when the Citadel didn’t open, then they should be readying themselves for more than just humanity to be taken.
Among the batarians is a sense of distrust – batarian propaganda says the galaxy hates them, and, because we get the slavers and mercs running around in the games, the audience is probably not inclined to disprove that theory (particularly if there’s a Colonist Shepard doing the run – because I say so, there can be plenty of statements from them on the subject that fit the background specifically, because it’s nice that these are all theoretical and I can throw in whatever I like). Still, the general idea is that Shepard does feel a moral responsibility to save them, even if, as in the case of Renegade Shepard, it’s just in the name of preventing the Collectors get their claws on them.
But, thing is, ME2 offers no ship piloting mechanic, and I’m not bringing that in. And, y’know, I still get war flashbacks of getting ambushed by Sith fighters in KOTOR. So that means that the Normandy heads off, Shepard ordering them to find help (we’re gonna say that this is taking place somewhere near the batarian-turian border, so the Normandy can go find a few turian ships – going back to my idea of “shaking up companions” concept, I don’t have any particular choices to go with Shepard this time, but this makes it almost mandatory for a companion other than Garrus to come along, since Garrus can sway the turians to come to the rescue of alien nationals – and this ship ends up crashing, with Shepard and companions still on board – as are the freed slaves.
And we’re not crashing on a habitable planet. Because while there’s the helmets and all, I feel sometimes like the franchise as a whole underplays how much the atmosphere of planets being conducive to life as we know it is kind of rare. So while the cargo hold, settled in the heart of the ship and surrounded by the various additional decks of the ship, makes it through, there are portions of the ship that have been vented into space.
And the Collectors are coming.
Shepard gets to make a Paragon/Renegade “inspiration” speech to the captives, recommending that they get to trying to save themselves. Paragon will get a majority on their side, Renegade only a particularly brave soul. This one would be the Paragon’s contact/coordinator, just so that I can have a clearly identifiable person to turn to. And, yeah, we’re punishing Renegades here, but here’s the thing about this – we have stolen people, taken prisoner, made into slaves, about to be handed off to aliens who are only known to the galaxy as kidnapping and experimenting on people who never return, and then crashed on a deadly planet, with their only shelter pocked with holes letting out the valuable atmosphere that keeps them alive. I’m sorry, but being an asshole to these traumatized people? Even in the name of saving their asses from said kidnapping and experimenting aliens, they are NOT going to be ready to take up arms and fight. Read the room.
So, it becomes a game of causing enough losses to the Collectors for them to retreat for the Normandy to arrive with rescue vessels. Cat and mouse combat, with interspersed dialogue with our batarian coordinator (Making a name up on the spot... Kahvahr). That’s giving the expansion on both him as a character, talking about himself – a political exile, he spoke out against the Hegemony’s attitudes and practices, that they are so isolationistic that the necessary trade with the Citadel races, trade that could reduce their reliance on slavery, is killing them, which led to him attempting to leave, an attempt that ended up putting him into the hands of the slavers he argued against, and he’s certain that the Hegemony’s leaders basically gave him up. Talk about the beauty of Khar’shan, as a planet and place, something more tangible for us the audience of this place that we never get to go – he speaks longingly of these natural wonders he doesn’t expect he’ll ever see again.
The aid of the batarians Kahvahr leads can offer some combat segments getting avoided, but I do want to include some elements of the Collector faction from ME3 in combat segments all the same, the Collector Captain in specific. Because these things never appeared in ME2, so let’s remedy that.
And our end boss is going to be some variant of the Collector drones we see in Paragon Lost, which are these giant sized Collectors. So they get some additional tricks and are a clear case that Shepard is now facing the worst forces the Collectors can throw at them. Because I figure you can give them some interesting additional boss tricks.
The turians arrive and the Collectors withdraw, so Shepard gets to pass on what to do with these batarians – treat them as refugees who are seeking asylum in Citadel space or ship them back to batarian space. Because the thing is... batarians in Citadel space are probably not going to have things pretty well. Like there’s a reason we see batarians on Omega but not the Citadel. And a lot of these batarians still have families in the Hegemony. So there’s a very real argument to the idea that they’d be better off going back. It’s probably bull, considering the Hegemony’s leadership (and definitely bull on the basis of the Reapers being about to steamroll the batarians in between games), but... It can be made.
And it also speaks to how well Shepard is responding to Kahvahr – Kahvahr makes it clear, batarian slaves tend to be those who speak out. How much good can they really do going back to the Hegemony? Sure, you can argue that it’s in the name of encouraging rebellion against the Hegemony’s leadership, but realistically? It’s signing a death warrant – if this attempt at silencing him didn’t work, the Hegemony will likely just go straight to killing him.
And maybe Shepard’s okay with that – the whole reason we’re doing this is because the portrayal of batarians through the rest of the series is almost exclusively them as an always chaotic evil antagonistic force. What do they contribute to the galaxy, right? But this whole thing has been to help paint the batarians in a new light – now, shipping these batarians back to their people isn’t a mercy but a death sentence. What can I say, I like that script-flipping. But, as always, it is a choice for Shepard, for the players. Because apparently, people who play these games like the chance to play the asshole. Fine, you can, but you’re definitely getting judged for it.
Post Game Followups:
ME3: If given asylum, a batarian militia will have formed, both the survivors of the crash and of batarian refugees, wanting to aid the Citadel forces, Kahvahr himself as an asset.
Shadow Dance
Shepard’s connections to Cerberus have not gone unnoticed. A Spectre – Vexx Liranus – has decided that they are a key component to Cerberus plans (not untrue) and that their capture or death would be useful in combatting Cerberus (definitely untrue). With a fellow Spectre nipping at their heels, Shepard has to face what should be a comrade in arms in a deadly game of cat and mouse!
(Post-Horizon)
We meet three other Spectres in the trilogy, and only one of them, Jondum Bau, in ME3, is actually an ally. This is turning that on its head – all things considered, Vexx Liranus should be an ally. After all, we’re talking about a fellow Spectre, working for the Council, and Cerberus IS using Shepard for their plans, so taking Shepard out would make sense.
It’s just Shepard is a good guy, working with Cerberus as more an alliance of necessity, rather than any ideological alignment. And while I’m sure if you had a chance to sit down and talk to another Spectre, they’d probably eventually come around to the idea, well... Where’s the fun in that.
So Vexx. We had Naevia above in “The Omega Heist” as our “first” female turian for the trilogy, though she does potentially get killed. So we’re gonna have another female turian here, just to really sell the “no fridging female turians” concept. She is a badass turian soldier, like I want a planet with an “r” name to say she had a major incident on so that she can be “the Raptor of [wherever].” Because I love alliteration. I picture her being voiced by Claudia Christian (who was a favorite of mine to voice a female turian back before we knew anything about Mass Effect Andromeda, and while I’m absolutely a fan of Danielle Rayne’s performance as Vetra, I still regret that lack, so I’m making this happen here).
As for the actual plot, we’re gonna start on a small waystation location. It’s a standard resupply place, in the vein of like those Fuel Depots or something, a place like the Citadel but smaller. Because I think that space stations are an underdeveloped aspect of the Mass Effect universe. Like in Star Trek, there are Starbases and Deep Space Stations (such as DS9). Surely the various militaries of the Citadel races are doing the same, building their own stations that act as refuel and resupply, as well as standard rest and relaxation – Spacer Shepard will talk about living on ships, but I don’t see a child actually being raised on military vessels. But a space station that acts as a rallying point and home base for a vessel? That I’ll buy.
So this begins with the Normandy pulling in to one of these types of stations. You know, a little bit of a supply run, something simple. Things do not go according to plan, though, because, y’know, why would they, we wouldn’t have a plot if they did.
It begins simply. They settle in for a resupply, Miranda suggesting that the operational crew get a chance for some break time, Kelly adding that crew like Rolston and Hadley should have an opportunity to contact their families. That’s how we get here. As Shepard proceeds to look through the market, we get other angles of Vexx monitoring and observing Shepard. Shepard will begin to get that feeling of being watched, and that’s when she makes her first strike.
Now, yeah, I say right off in the synopsis that Vexx is a Spectre, but in the story proper? This is going to be kept quiet for a while. Sorta like how Vasir gets this intro that kinda clearly marks her as someone who we’re going to have to fight later, Vexx is getting the appearance of being a straight up antagonist. Because in her mind, she IS an antagonist to Shepard. She just believes that she’s the protagonist of the story, specifically because of Shepard’s ties to Cerberus, coming to this place in a vessel flying Cerberus colors, operating with a Cerberus crew. In her mind, she has discovered a threat to the Citadel and the Council.
While I’m still on the “give the companions more of a role” train, in this case, we’re going to see Shepard cut off from the crew – they come under fire from Vexx, they give the command to evacuate the station, return to the Normandy, and get out until they give the signal. Paragon Shepard wants to minimize casualties, Renegade Shepard wants to handle this themselves – Vexx interrupts their leave? It’s on now.
This leads to a chase through the station, and finding that she’s gotten things pretty well set up for this chase – I figure at some point, Shepard comes across like a secured bunker she’d been using as a command base, finds logs that have been tracking them since they landed on Omega at the start of the game. (Timeline being what it is, meaning as variable as it is, I’m gonna say that this is taking place functionally around, say, the Collector ship mission.)
That discovery is also when her Spectre status is made clear. Now, while there’s a good chance that Shepard’s had their Spectre status reinstated (thank you Dad!miral Anderson), well, we still need a plot here. Vexx doesn’t believe Shepard’s claim to have Council approval – after all, she certainly can’t just casually check this out while on a mission, Spectres are supposed to function independently of the Council. And she’s pretty good with the “better beg forgiveness than to ask permission” approach – Shepard helping Cerberus, even as a double agent, is a threat (for a less competent example of why, see how Shepard helping Cerberus in ME2 leads to Conrad Verner preaching Cerberus values in ME3).
The hunt continues. I’m basically picturing this functionally working a lot like a lower-levelled version of Arrival’s Project Base level, just with like security drones and such, and Vexx popping in and out of combat range. This is a hunting mission, on both sides, and the idea is that Shepard (and, by extension, the player) should feel like Vexx or her drones might show up around any corner. If nothing else, call it useful practice and experience.
Now, I said before I wanted to avoid stuffing our first female turian in the fridge. While Naevia could survive, she also could die. So I want to guarantee that at least one female turian of prominence is introduced without killing her off. That means that we’re going to have to find a peaceful resolution, as well as an alternative that allows the bloodthirsty playerbase to be satisfied.
That means an outside agent, a third party, getting in on this. I’m thinking a krogan merc with a grudge and a krantt and a blood oath against Vexx he’s more than willing to extend to Shepard, the Spectres, and the Council – with Vexx, it’s personal, having tangled with her before, with Shepard, they’re in the way, and with the Spectres, they work for the Council, and the Council gave the go-ahead on the genophage, so hey, it’s a good day to be him.
This eventually leads to, after some three-way combat, Shepard suggesting a truce for the time being – the krogan (Vargan, for want of a name) is a bigger threat to them both at the moment, since he’s distracting them and endangering the station as a whole. Vexx sees the wisdom in this and is willing to work with Shepard.
This gives a little more time to explore her, now that Shepard can talk to her. Vargan’s grudge stems from her disbanding his merc pack a while pack – they had ideas similar to the Blood Pack and Clan Weyrloc (re: Mordin’s loyalty mission), just without the aid of any salarian scientists. Maybe they’d sought out Okeer (possibly part of the reason that Okeer became a “very hated name,” as Wrex puts it? I don’t know, I’m spitballing here). Whatever the goal, however, she managed to put a stop to it, enough that Vargan was stripped of his clan name – given the structure of krogan society, I figure that in doing that, a krogan loses all right to even attempt to mate with the females, a big blow to a proud krogan leader, basically leading him to a voluntary exile from Tuchanka. That he still has a krantt after that still speaks to his skill and prowess, but also makes it clear that these are his only allies in the galaxy.
Shoot-y shoot-y stuff happens, yadda yadda... We’ve been over how writing about combat in these write-ups is boring. End result, we learn more about Vexx, develop and establish her further, give her this likeable air now that we’re on the same side, and get to Vargan, taking out his krantt in the process. Now that he’s alone, he is ready to die. He got everyone loyal to him killed, that means he’ll never regain a clan name now. He wants to die.
Typically, Paragon/Renegade decisions are a clear binary of “good means letting people live, bad means letting people die!” But here, Paragon is understanding the krogan mindset – he wants to die because he will never have a place in krogan society if he lives. He got his krantt killed, so he will never be able to gather a krantt again. He will never have that trust again, and so his death is the only way he can have an honorable ending. Meanwhile, Renegade is saying “no, I’m not going to grant you the mercy of death, live with your failure.” And doing that will likely mean he will strike out and go on some kind of suicide run (indeed, I picture that result being a news announcement overheard on the galactic news points).
Because I like the idea of twisting the Paragon/Renegade assumptions around – the idea behind it is supposed to be more nuanced than “good = blue, bad = red,” but in context, a lot of the use of the system through most of the series is a lot more binary. So this is showing the flip side of both ideas’ general attitudes – you are saving more lives and respecting his attitudes and beliefs by killing him, while knowingly leaving a threat to others that you KNOW he’ll act on by keeping him alive.
Vargan defeated, it comes back to Shepard and Vexx. She’s more impressed by Shepard at this point. Paragon Shepard showed an understanding of non-human mindsets, and that more than anything makes her hesitate to paint them with the same brush as Cerberus. Renegade Shepard showed enough martial skill that she’s concerned that things will only reach the point of a stalemate, and likely do too much damage to the station for it to continue operation.
So she offers Shepard what she’s going to call a deal – keep to the Terminus Systems, like they have been, and she’ll let things stand as they are, with the added note that, if their Council reinstatement is genuine, she’ll also send a letter with a fuller apology after the DLC concludes. Yeah, it’s basically going back to the status quo, but one, I’ve been clear that my goal is to make these slot in comfortably with the existing game, and two, back to the in-universe justifications, it also means that she can prevent other Spectres from coming after Shepard – after all, we learned with Saren, the only real way to respond to a Spectre going rogue is to send another Spectre after them. If Vexx is in Shepard’s corner, it prevents other Spectres from coming after them later.
Probably should lead to a line or two in reference to Vexx from Tela Vasir, depending on when Lair of the Shadow Broker is played – alternatively, I suppose Vexx should have some comments about Vasir’s death as well, but I did say above that I see this functionally being roughly around the point of the Collector Ship in the timeline, and I always view Lair of the Shadow Broker as taking place after the Suicide Mission, and my write-ups, my timeline. Moving on.
Shepard has to agree to this, because see above: not fridging female turians when the trilogy is so bereft of them in the first place. We don’t kill Vexx. Because, really, that would mean that Shepard would have killed three of the four fellow Spectres they encounter in the course of the trilogy, and their numbers are said to only go to about a hundred or so. That’s a three percent fatality rate for the Spectres, and a seventy-five percent fatality rate of meeting Shepard. Someone has to think those numbers look bad. So, in accepting the deal, Vexx walks away and Shepard calls the Normandy for a pick up.
Post Game Followups:
ME3: Vexx has a sidequest on the post-Coup Citadel, regarding her work with the unifying of turian and krogan forces. Given Shepard having contributed, she’s asking them to join in her efforts. Complete that and she gets to be an asset and there’s a boost for both of those groups as well.
Underworld
Illium is home to many elite in the galaxy. It’s called the gateway to the Terminus Systems. But it’s equally a warning that there is as much danger in Illium’s shadows as on Omega. And now a high-profile Alliance official goes missing there. Ambassador Anderson asks Shepard to investigate as he keeps the disappearance quiet, and Shepard gets drawn into a web of conspiracy...
(Post-Horizon)
Illium seems like it should be a bigger deal, don’t you think? I mean, in ME2 we get three hub worlds in Omega, the Citadel, and Illium, but Illium is introduced after Horizon, being locked to (on console) disc two, and, while Lair of the Shadow Broker gave us more of Illium in general... Hey. Let’s explore more. Cuz now we can open up some new areas that can stick around and still be explorable after the DLC ends.
We open with a message from Anderson – “one of our people went missing out on Illium, I’d like you to look into this as a favor to me,” that sort of thing. This official is an ambassadorial figure from the Alliance to the asari (so, for the sake of a name, I’m in a Power Rangers mood right now, I’m gonna call her Kimberly Hart). She’s been attempting to shore up some diplomatic ties – I’d figure this would include matters like getting stronger ties between the asari in the name of gaining access to teachers for Grissom Academy, better relations in the name of biotic rights, that sort of thing.
Illium, being a free trade world, is a place where these kinds of negotiations take place without government oversight – I figure, based on things like the asari on Noveria in ME1 who wants to protect asari patents by getting Shepard to help her engage in corporate espionage, the asari government is extremely strict about their “secrets” while humans, who are still struggling to get a handle on what to do with first and second gen biotics, are willing to take on free agents more than like the commandos and such. Also, don’t want a repeat of Vyrnnus, so the turians are definitely out. It’s “asari free agents” who they’re looking at bringing on for this.
But with her having gone missing, that’s concerning – again, we have the asari being fiercely protective of what they view as their copyrights (which I do want to have a running theme here surrounding the idea “how do you copyright something that has this melding with the life it is bonded to?” – amps working as they do, mapped to biological systems as they are, this seems like it borders on trying to patent people in the process, since they’ll gain full maps of the people those amps are implanted in). Anderson wants Shepard to go in, since they’re off the official books.
Now we return to that earlier concept of mandatory companions. Because of the matter of biotics, this feels like a mission that Jack pushes her way in to – both because she’s been the subject of biotic experimentation, and she wants to ensure that this doesn’t turn in to the Teltin facility all over again, and to help give some foreshadowing for her becoming one of Grissom Academy’s teachers next game. Additionally, I’ll go with Thane as the other companion for this – he’s done work in Illium’s criminal underworld.
Now then, to our central hub of Illium. We’re on a different city than Nos Astra, but it’s going to have a similar flavor to it, in the same way that Azure still felt like it wasn’t all that out of place alongside the trading center. Nos Vidia, I’ll call it (sounds suitably asari, anyway). It’s not as major a hub of intergalactic trade and commerce, meaning that Shepard and company are going to stand out in the crowd.
This is also one of the more “crime” areas, where the black market has moved in. We have Eclipse symbols on the wall and, while they’re not wearing the uniform, many of the people around here are obviously in the gang. Which also makes Shepard stand out. Thane, however, manages to bring up a former contact, someone who has been able to stay alive this long, meaning they’re skilled enough that they’ve survived.
The contact is an asari I’m gonna call Kassria. Kassria has picked up some Eclipse chatter that references our missing ambassador. That means Eclipse has her, but it’s not clear so much if her being taken is because of her getting in the way of Eclipse as a gang or if the Eclipse are working for some asari company.
We pause for some talk about the various asari copyrights, explore that conversation, with Jack having quite a few words on the subject of trying to make people property. That kind of thinking creates situations that create the same kind of science as Teltin. Thane offers something of the drell perspective – he’s the one who argues that he was raised and trained as a weapon for the hanar, and that he was not responsible for the lives he took. Who owns the abilities, the user or the one calling for their use? (I mean, there’s an obvious answer, but Thane’s bringing up the alternative to this – the people who are broken down and made into weapons at the hands of others.)
Like actually, let’s make that aside a point of having Jack and Thane – in Jack’s eyes, Thane’s attitude towards the people he’s killed is much how Cerberus would have wanted her to have ended up, as a weapon for them to point, pull the trigger, and give no concern for the ways that it impacts the person who acts because of that order.
It’s the same argument that we have with Miranda – the idea of “disposable troops” does not make it a matter of saving lives, just a matter of how war becomes easier, having these weapons to unleash upon others with no risk to the people who are supposedly being protected by them. It’s a way of absolving yourself for creating slaves by giving them some higher purpose.
This really is going to be a turning point with Jack’s arc proper, with how it leads to her being a teacher, because she wants to protect the young biotics. It’s not just about her protecting the kids at the Ascension Project from ending up tortured like the kidnapped victims at the Teltin facility. It’s also about reclaiming and maintaining personhood.
And while it’s hard for me to really give the separation theory Thane speaks of (we ARE going to come back to issues of the drell in general a few DLCs from here, so consider this to be foreshadowing and set up for that bit), I’m going to try and offer his point of view – that of “if you hone someone to only be a weapon, to only look at the world from that perspective, is it really on them as an individual that they proceed to see the world from that viewpoint?”
Of course, yes, I’m aware that the inherent flaw of ALL of this is that we’re not talking about drell youths giving themselves up to the hanar in the fulfillment of the Compact or with “different brain structures” to humans. It’s the tangent that they end up on because they’re along for the ride, and Shepard eventually has to get them back on track – finding Ambassador Hart. Whether or not the asari corporations are intending to use people as weapons, the Eclipse sisters presently have her held captive, and this means staging a rescue operation.
I want to take this chance to get a better idea of Eclipse’s organization (which, by extension, showcases the ideas that are moving the other merc gangs in the series). Like, what goals do they really have – Blood Pack are basically chaotic berserkers who want the world to burn (which, fitting, considering the general krogan mindset following the genophage and the vorcha having a complete lack of survival instincts because they never needed to evolve them), while Blue Suns have the veneer of respectability, acting as private security. But when we meet Jona Sedaris in ME3, she’s a raving psychopath, ready to kill anyone in her way. So what does the Eclipse gang want? I mean, besides the obvious of money.
Kassria is a former Eclipse sister, so she offers this insight – Eclipse doesn’t even really know itself. The non-asari members are almost leaning towards biotic extremism, given how the other races tend to mistreat and look down on the biotics among them, which makes them angry and want to lash out at those who’ve hurt them. Meanwhile, the asari who join in are often driven by other motivations, given that all asari have biotics – some are outcasts (purebloods, in pureblood relationships, or people with the Ardat-Yakshi mutation – let’s just assume Samara will have shared about her loyalty mission by the time this mission is unlocked so we don’t have to have the characters explain this to Shepard), others are maidens looking for glory (think Elnora the mercenary from Samara’s recruitment mission), some are obsessed with killing (like Sedaris), and some are just looking for a purpose.
She suggests that, if given something better, Eclipse might be a valuable asset for Shepard – not just in biotics, but also in their mechs. It’d be something to use when the Reapers come calling, not that she knows about the Reapers, just that she can figure that whatever Shepard’s up to, they’ll want an army at their back (because we’re still ME2 here, so this means we don’t know that Aria will be assembling the merc gangs under her banner).
This leads to an assault on the Eclipse base and trying to reach Hart before anyone proceeds to try and kill her or worse. As we continue, we find out that there is a high-ranking Eclipse member among this group – Jona Sedaris.
Yes, that’s right, we’re going to be responsible for her getting locked up come ME3. Obviously, this does mean she’ll survive the inevitable conflict and boss battle, but hey, we’re gonna have other things to deal with in the final analysis, so hold all questions to the end.
The Eclipse sisters and the techs with their mechs are heavy throughout the place, but eventually, we reach the place they’re holding Hart. She’s been roughed up a bit, but she’s alive. She’d made contact with an asari firm who’d claimed to be willing to trade some “asari patents” in the name of cross-cultural cooperation, but Hart got suspicious of what was happening. Turns out, she was being used – the company (a minor company, not one of our major equipment suppliers from the actual games, that she had gone to them in the name of avoiding those big names) was going to give her access, only to revoke it and claim that she had stolen these patents. That would give them an opening to start consolidating biotic patents in a human market, because humans would now be running amps and implants with copyrighted asari material, and, by extension, that would mean the company would own those human biotics.
That, of course, gets Jack’s ire up, and she’s ready to tear the place apart – people aren’t things to be owned. Even Thane’s ready to join in – even accepting his claims of lacking a responsibility for the lives that his employers hired him to take (again, we’ll be digging deeper into this in the future), this is trying to force people to be under the control of this company – based on his reaction when Shepard suggests that the Compact between the hanar and the drell constitutes slavery, Thane’s definitely not on board with that idea. And even on Illium, a planet with legalized “indentured servitude,” this contract is definitely sketchy – but it would be just legal enough that the company leadership would be able to get their foot in the door, and make it harder for human biotics to be able to exist without “company oversight,” giving them access to the human biotics before they have a chance to stabilize their position in human society.
It’s some further asari haughtiness, the idea of asari like Erinya, the lawyer who holds the contract to the Feros colonists, that the asari are “better” than the other races. The asari in charge of this company are of the belief that only the asari “deserve” biotics, and want to keep all biotics in the galaxy under their control. These asari in particular don’t see any race other than asari as even deserving of evolving out of the primordial muck. Not a mainstream view, but one that we do have foundation for existing in the universe proper, and, let’s be honest, it’s not hard to imagine this being a thing anyway based on our world (We’ll touch on these themes in more detail later). And this idea, especially combined with the asari willingness to indulge in “indentured servitude” on Illium, if no where else, gets taken to its natural endpoint – they see human biotics as little more than pack mules, livestock.
Short step from there to going along with batarian or Collector ideas, but really, it’s not like we don’t know exactly where that endpoint is from our history.
Obviously, Shepard is a walking contradiction to those ideas, so combat is the only way through. Sedaris might be an unrepentant murderer, but we do still have to take her into custody – this is where Kassria comes in, taking her down and intending to hand her over to the authorities in the name of getting a slice of the Eclipse pie with her out of the picture. It won’t be a clean takeover, which will justify why Sayn is running things for Sedaris outside of prison instead of Kassria (who would DEFINITELY just leave Sedaris to rot and probably arrange an ‘accident’ for her), but it’s getting her more power.
As for the company, they’re JUST on the side of legality – the efforts of Eclipse on their behalf were by way of verbal contracts, and no lawyer on Illium is going to take the word of a mercenary over those of these high-ranking business officials. Hart swears that she can make things hell for them, lose them some very lucrative contracts with the Alliance. Thing is, that also makes her job all the more difficult, now that she’s been found out having attempted to make these grey legality ties for the sake of “getting an edge” in the biotics market – they have the resources to make this a fight that, meanwhile, would set the cause of human biotics back. (Which, as we’ve been over in other write-ups, actually is a bit of a thing that has some deeper ties in to the overall universe that the people of this setting are still working on figuring out.)
The Paragon/Renegade choice here becomes the rather obvious “do we take the option that handles this cleanly but lets the bad guys escape responsibility, or the messy alternative that may not even get the result we want?” choice. Because the thing about asari litigation is that they can afford to tie things up for decades without concern for the “short term” consequences. So if this DOES go to courts, they can wrap things up and keep them there for a long time – which will impact how things go for the human biotics, the whole idea of ‘owning’ people because they have these abilities. Because then their legality, their agency, their right to choose for themselves would be being litigated, and being done so in the court of aliens.
It doesn’t feel GOOD to me to have it left like this, honestly, but I don’t really see this as something that is supposed to have a conclusion that feels good – we’re talking about issues of corporate ownership of individuals, and the truth is... that exploitation just goes on, it doesn’t resolve itself with a few showy displays of violence. It gets caught up in red tape and paperwork, and people lose, even as they win. And the point of this has basically been, at its heart, to show that the “underworld” isn’t the black and grey markets that scrounge a semblance of society. It’s the businesses who will crush people underfoot then complain about the mess they stepped in. The design of a lot of the locations introduced in ME2 had this cyberpunk dystopia look to them, but only really focused on the criminal gangs – the core of this is approaching the white collar criminal element that was not shown off as much, how it encourages both further street crime and the depersonalization that comes from treating humans as a commodity.
Jack is pissed either way because this is all kinds of bullshit – it’s Shepard who points out that as angry as Jack defaults to, this is, for once, her being pissed at something beyond herself, where it’s not just that she wants to cause mayhem, but that she wants to make things different for others. To do something to protect future human biotics, kids who are in need. It’s her actively wanting to find a way to make a different, not just chaos.
As for Thane, he is still drell, still a proponent of the Compact (again, we’ll be coming back to this issue), but he does understand how easy it is to see something ostensibly done to the benefit of people turns around and is used by malicious actors to take advantage of them. It’s one of those things that he certainly understood in the abstract, but it’s another thing to see in practice. He leaves it on the note that “this has given me much to consider.”
As for Ambassador Hart, she knows that either way, she’s tanked her chances for getting the instructors that she’d been hoping for. Basically, the diplomatic ties she’d wanted from the asari government are off the table, given the combination of asari tied to the company and just general political embarrassment at the fact that all of this even happened – they want to ignore it, paint things over in pastels, and she is a living embodiment of the event to the asari, able to bring up the reality at a time of her choosing. The asari would rather that this go away, rather than have this constant reminder. Still, she’s grateful for Shepard’s rescue – the Eclipse might not have actively been planning on her death, but it wasn’t a good position. And, at this point, she can at least salvage a career going forward. Maybe not with the asari, but there’s a chance that relations with the turians have thawed out some.
Post Game Followups:
ME3: The fate of the company plays a part in War Assets – being tied up in legal red tape, they’re not able to contribute to the war effort, or, in a magnanimous show of “inter-species cooperation,” they’re sharing some patents with the other races. Additionally, Ambassador Hart shows up for a sidequest after the Cerberus Coup, making another go at the effort, now that Grissom is gone and the human biotics are here – might as well make the effort to get these asari instructors anyway, and she wants Shepard to help her out with smoothing the ruffled feathers (since this would still be in that period of time where the asari are still trying to avoid joining the active war effort).
Also, while this wouldn’t really impact anything via saved game import, I also figure this would at least tie in to Andromeda, that several human biotics joined the Initiative in the name of getting away from the corporations who want to hold them as “patented property” and such. Probably would be a way to help at least make Cora’s arc tighten up a little – it’s not just that she thought she’d only be a “useful freak” as a human biotic, as opposed to an asari commando or an Initiative Pathfinder, but that in getting away from Citadel space, she’d be allowed to just be, to find out who it is that she is beyond her biotics, rather than have to have her biotics “registered” with a corporation who’d exploit them and her. Not sure how to incorporate that into Andromeda proper, but it’s something that would be acknowledged.
End of Part 1, link to Part 2 forthcoming.
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I know you have....feelings, about the the Filoni Clone Wars characters being brought into the Mandalorian. I was just curious about your thoughts concerning Bo Katan in episode 3. (No hate or anything here, just genuinely curious as to how someone who isn't necessarily pumped about seeing this characters in live action reacted to this ep) Hope you still continue with ACCPOV!!
(Disclaimer: the salty tone of this answer is because I am 100% a salty bitch about this, and not directed at you at all.)
How do I feel about TCW characters in The Mandalorian?
My opinion in general is the same as it was for Rebels. I am watching the show for THE CHARACTERS THE SHOW IS ABOUT. NOT CHARACTERS FROM ANOTHER SHOW. IF I WANTED THOSE CHARACTERS, I WOULD WATCH THAT SHOW.
Honestly I was just “meh” about TCW when I first watched it. I didn’t like it at all, but I didn’t care, I was content just to ignore it. But it is shoved in EVERYTHING and I am just so tired of it. Every other Star Wars property has nods to other pieces of canon, of course, but in general if you don’t like the sequels or prequels or Old Republic whatever you can just avoid the chunks you don’t like. Filoni is determined to shove his characters into everything!
As for Bo-Katan specifically, at least she was a Mandalorian and used to start introducing more Mandalorian culture and contrast it with Din’s beliefs, as well as set up conflict. Din is the main character and I want him to stay that way. And she looked fantastic in live action; they did a phenomenal job “translating” an animated character to live action so that it still looks realistic and fits in Star Wars while maintaining the animated character’s distinctive features. Otherwise, I don’t care. I’m not invested in her or whatever arc they’re trying to set up. I honestly don’t care about who has the Darksaber or who rules Mandalore (although Bo-Katan definitely isn’t the one who should be doing it).
But if they want to continue storylines from TCW and Rebels, make a show that specifically does that! I care about Din and Baby Yoda and that’s why I’m watching this show. The two of them trolling the galaxy and learning how to be a clan of two is, in my opinion, a million times more interesting than a fight to rule Mandalore. I had the same opinion on Rebels - we’d already seen the main Rebellion, a story about a Rebel cell just starting out on a single planet was way more interesting to me. It was a fresh angle with new characters I was invested in. I want them! Like I don’t even want a Luke cameo or anything in The Mandalorian even though I love the Original Trilogy, I want Din and Cara and Greef (and Kuiil and IG-11) and all the new side characters I’ve gotten invested in! That’s why I’m here! And if they do have other characters come in, I want it to serve Din and Baby’s story, not have them be tugged into another story where they are no longer the protagonists.
I’m still gonna do AACPOV for episodes 1-3 and just play it by ear for the rest. Ahsoka is what’s gonna make or break because (I know I’m in the extreme minority here but) I fucking loathe her. I find her a blatant author’s pet who is Always In The Right and always The Most Important and it’s annoying af I’m just hoping Favreau reins Filoni in. Fingers crossed they’re setting up for a separate Ahsoka show somehow, because as pissed as I will be about spending a chunk of Din’s show setting up for another show, if she gets her own show all her fans can enjoy that and those of us who want Din and Baby can enjoy them and we will all be happy. (Also why wouldn’t Disney want to do that, she’s popular, it would be a moneymaker.)
(I know this is so ranty, I’m sorry, but I have been in a snit about this ngl and this was therapeutic, thank you.)
#i will always do my best to be a responsible fan and tag my hate too rest assured @ those of you who like tcw#tryin to stay outta trouble lol#anti tcw#anti bo katan#asks#anon#the mandalorian spoilers#the mandalorian
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Not Gonna Die Tonight // Jason Todd
a/n: originally wanted this at a different setting but during a long car ride i was listening to skillet (as one should) and with me recently reading the dceased comics my mind went zombies. note that this is an au (inside of an au). So it plays in the dceased universe but there won't be any major spoilers(i think 🤔) if anyone haven't read it yet. Alsooo you have a sword. 💁🏻♀️
warnings: zombies, blood, gore, mentions of Jason's death (and death in general) and angst.
word count: 650 (i know, so short with so many warnings)
"It really is the end isn't it? "
"Ah, it's never really the end with us, is it? I strongly believe that we are never going catch a break from these kind of things." Jason smiled weakly. His voice was tired and the circles under his eyes were darker than ever but you weren't looking any better. You looked at each other, memorizing every bit, like it was the last time you're gonna see each other. Jason put one gloved hand on your cheek and brought your lips together. The kiss wasn't long, you didn't have much time left, but it was enough. Passionate and loving, full of emotions and feelings you didn't have time to say. He pulled on his helmet covering his face for good.
"Till death?" you asked scanning the scenery in front of you. Jason took your hand last time and gripped it reassuringly.
"And even after that."
As a perfect cue, the gate broke down and the horde of undead 'people' lounged forward. But to their misfortune so did the two of you. You let go of each other and raised your weapons.
Soon all you could hear was the groaning and the screaming of the zombies and the loud noise of Jason firing his gun.
The setting sun shone down and glints on your sword. You cut two of them in half when, from the corner of your eyes, you saw Jason fall backwards. Your body moved without you actually controlling it. Your mind traveled back to all those years ago when you lost Jason. He layed in his coffin, he was so small and pale. The feeling of losing him again just hit you and gripped at your insides stronger than any punch or wound you ever got.
You slayed and kicked and run to him.
Jason could hear the blood rushing and his heart beating in his ears. In fact that's all he could hear. He saw his life fall away from him as grains of sand falls down in the hourglass.
Than he saw you, sword basically glowing in the sun, covered in blood, sweat and zombie chunks. You ran and cut those two, who were to jump at the fallen Jason. And that was enough for him to snap out of it. Jumping up he kicked an undead and quickly turned to you.
"Cover me?"
"Always." you stepped in front of him so he could reload his gun. From that on, you moved in sync with each other, helping the other wordlessly. You knew each other and worked with one an other so well that it was obvious that you two shouldn't be separated.
When the plane (which you were to escape and go to the meeting point where the ships would fly far away from this planet) stopped, there was a decision to make. The plane was full of people most of them kids. Jason and you both volunteered to hold off the army of dead until they can fix the plane and get going. Jason and you could hold off for a pretty long time, maybe even survive but if not it was important that both of you were (pretty) normal humans. Noone needed more superhuman-zombies.
You could hear the plane's engine start and you smiled at Jason. Under the helmet you you he was smiling too. They made it. If you could fight these off, there was a car with barley enough gas. But it should be enough for a trip to Gotham. And maybe... You could reach Ivy's jungle. Harley would sure convince her to take you guys in. Maybe that would work... You really wanted that to work. Over the months, this situation destroyed every dream or vision you had for the future. But it couldn't take away hope. And as long as Jason and you had each other, you knew eventually it will alright.
#tw zombies#tw blood#tw gore#dceased imagine#dceased au#jason todd x reader#jason todd angst#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#dc angst#dc imagine#jason todd imagines#jason todd drabble#jason todd blurb#dc blurb#dc x reader#dc x y/n#batboys x reader#batboys x you#batfamily x reader#batfamily imagine#batfam angst#red hood one shot#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#not gonna die tonight#skillet#alias imagines
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