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yorsgirl · 1 month

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On such a full moon night

Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: You were an untouched canvas and he aimed to paint you in all colors of his.

Tropes: Explicit smut, angst, unhappy ending.

Warnings: Dead dove: do not read, Non con/Dub con, fem!reader, violent!sukuna, kissing, biting, choking, nipple play, fingering, rough sex, degradation, dacryphilia(arousal from tears), sadism(to enjoy the act of inflicting pain on others), mild torture, loss of virginity, blood, defloration(losing hymen through sexual intimacy), corruption kink(the idea of corrupting someone pure with one's negativities), rough sex, cervix fucking, unprotected sex.

General warnings: Aged-up characters, suicidal thoughts, Canon timeline, Sukuna in Yuji's body, Inaccurate canon lore in some parts, usage of nicknames, no mention of y/n.

Word count: 4.4k

A/N: THIS IS A VERY DARK FANFICTION WITH ELEMENTS OF BORDERLINE NON-CONSENSUAL SEX AND BODY INJURY. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY SUCH TOPICS.

MDNI - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Disclaimer: Forceful or coerced intimacy is wrong. I, in no way, support sexual intercourse through any other means except conscious consent. This piece of work is only written for entertainment purpose, it has no relation with real life nor does it aim to influence someone's real life behaviors.

The first time Sukuna saw you, he knew he had to have you.

Apparently, you were that damn brat’s some middle school acquaintance or so he suppose. He didn’t bother learning your relation with his vessel, he never did. Honestly, he was the least bothered with what happened with that boy’s personal life. And you would have been just another face in the crowd but you weren’t.

He found you amusing, to say the least.

What lured him to you was the lack of cursed energy you possessed. It was intriguing; how a human could have so little amount of negativity harnessed in their being? How could anyone be so unscathed from the adversities of the world?

Sukuna was no stranger to the complexity of human emotions. He was a human. Once. Some thousand years ago. And he was relatively knowledgeable on how annoying such emotions could be.

So a maiden like yourself was rather amusing.

You were like a delicate flower to him - unharmed, untouched. So beautiful, so fragile, so vulnerable.

His red irises locked onto you, as he watched you from the eyes of his vessel. He observed you, like a hawk observed its prey.

And were you really anything more?

You were his prey.

A smirk slipped into his lips as he continued to stare at the delicacy before him.

“Just you wait for me, little prey.”

The wait ended sooner than he had anticipated. The higher ups had sent his vessel on a mission to eliminate one grade one cursed spirit. Calamity could only strike cause by the time the Yuji reached the spot, the cursed spirit had evolved to a special grade.

Weak and on the brink of losing consciousness, yet the cursed spirit was evoking chaos through the dark forest. Just before he could fall into a deep slumber, did the young man let the curse residing in him assume control.

It took Sukuna hardly more than a few minutes to erase the existence of that spirit from the very face of the Earth.

And then, he waited.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

Then the realization hit him that the brat couldn’t gain control.

He grinned at the new found and perhaps, rare freedom. He was going to celebrate these moments of slip up. For he knew, the exact place he needed to be.

He was free, after all.

You stared up ahead, transfixed by the bright moon illuminating the dark city. The night so peaceful and pretty. Almost too quite.

You loved nights.

You loved the moon.

And on such a full moon night, you couldn’t help but feel an unease, a sense of foreboding that something terrible were to happen. Some threat lingered as the wind swept the tendrils of hair that cascaded aside your face.

As the shadows cast by the celestial body start to move across the land, you heard a thud behind your back. Like something has fallen. Or perhaps, someone.

You turned around, tufts of pink hair caught your attention first. The eerie red eyes piercing your soul, staring at you; almost too familiar yet, foreign and terrifying at once. You squint your eyes, trying to make out the figure which had turned the air so cold which caused the hairs on your neck to rise up.

“Yuji?” You called aloud but as soon the name leaves your lips, you bite back on your tongue – this wasn’t Yuji.

You heard the clicking of tongue as the familiar body steps forward, the moonlight falling on his features; dark markings covered parts of his face. A grin, almost sinister playing on his lips. His sharp canines glinting as your eyes widen in recognition.

“Su-Sukuna…” You hesitate to even utter his name, your fear palpable. Your breath hitched as his grin widened (if that was possible) and he nodded. You stepped back, your bottom hitting the railing of the terrace, as your grip on the metal tightened.

What? What is he doing here?

“You haven’t changed at all, as it seems.” His deep voice hit right at your bones, the spine chilling sensation stronger than ever.

He will kill me.

Is it how I am going to die?

You didn’t answer. What would you even speak of? Standing before you was the incarnate of devil himself. One wrong move and you would be dead. Even being silent wasn’t a preferable choice, he’d kill you if that satisfied him.

“Fear not,” He kept on stepping closer, causing you to swallow a lump. Palms sweating at the amount of dread this being had bestowed upon you, just by being here for a few seconds. His footsteps resonates through the entire space. “I am just here to take something.”

The best course of action would have been to run or just try to get as far away from him as possible.

Even though you might have not been a sorcerer, still you had known enough from your friend about the curse that resided within him. And you knew, Sukuna Ryomen was no good news.

Even if Yuji hadn’t told you about the spirit within him, you knew something was wrong from the last time you met him. Whether it was the omnious aura that radiated from your friend or the spine chilling sensation that you were being watched by some unworldly creature when with him. Simply to say, it was terrorizing.

You gulped staying rooted in the spot, frozen in fear as Sukuna inched closer to you. “I don’t have anything for you.” You tried to put on a brave facade, yet the quiver in your voice and the ragged breathing incited a snort from the monster in front.

“That’s where you go wrong, dear.” It was almost mocking on how he used the nickname. “You just have what I want, and I am going to take it.”

Your terrified expression only fuels his desire for you. Its been too long and you are just too perfect to not quench the thirst gnawing at him. The moonlight did nothing but add onto the radiance of your hypnotic features. Your neck and shoulders, illuminated by the silver light being casted from the heavenly body.

So radiant… so perfect…

It was like the Gods had just created you for him. To be undone by his hands, to quench his thirst, to dissipate his prolonged hunger.

How many centuries has it been since he had such an untouched maiden before him? Just the thought of having you beneath him, painting you in his hues that you have never known only made him shudder with excitement.

And just before the adrenaline could take action, Sukuna gripped your arm; it being tight enough to leave bruises. He pulled you close to himself, his sharp nails digging into your skin.

The piercing scream on the verge of your lips was shunned out as he leaned and pressed his lips to yours. His other hand gripping the back of your head, pushing you closer to him.

As much as you wriggled in his death grip; it was futile. Sukuna was far stronger than you could ever be. Scorned by lust and the desire to quench this insatiable hunger, his sense of rationality was thrown away. Or did he even have one to begin with?

He bit down your lower lip – drawing your blood. He licked it up, letting the metallic taste fill his mouth. You grunted and hit his chest repeatedly, as if that would stop him from fulfilling his desire.

Your screams were muffled as he continued to bestow his brutality over your mouth.

He pulled you back by your hair, exposing your delicious neck to him to feast on. The man didn’t wait a second before letting his fangs dug into your flesh. You let out a screech, squirming in his hold and kicking on his legs to just get away. A loud malicious laughter filled your ears, the stinging pain of him biting down on your neck grew almost overbearing.

The corners of Sukuna’s lips curled up, the sight of your neck was a sight to behold. The blood oozing from the bruises, almost matched the color of his iries.

“Ah- such a view…” He mumbled, his conscience getting clouded from the bloodied mess he had created your neck to be.

“No, stop! Get away.”

Screams of horror and anguish escaped your lips, the pleas of help and pain falling onto deaf ears. The moisture slid down your cheeks and to your jaw as he roughly pushed you down on the concrete floor. Your head slammed down hard, blood trickling down your head to your nape. Your vision blurred as you saw your captor descend on top of your injured body.

“No,” You shouted, the attempt at shielding yourself with your hands that had him snicker at your pitiful state. In a second, both of your wrists were in his grasp, pinning them above your head. “No, stop.”

“Please, stop,” You sobbed, taking in a sharp breath

“Don’t fight it, doll,” The evident taunt in his voice wasn’t missed besides the nickname used had a shiver run down your spine. He pressed his knee over your clothed core while you frantically kicked your legs to save yourself from this torment. He leaned down near your face, relishing on the terror residing in your eyes.

He pulled your head up by your neck, his claws grazing over your delicate skin before he slammed you down again. And again and again. The concrete was drenched with your blood. And you wished the pain shooting down your body would be enough for you to lose consciousness. But this night wasn’t for your wishes.

You shook your head, tears rolling down your pretty eyes – ah, what a beautiful sight. The groans of pain accompanied by the delicious tears ignited his arousal. Your pleas and begs fell on deaf ears and you gasped when he took your earlobe between his teeth.

“It won’t hurt…” Your chest rose up and down as you gritted your teeth with disgust, tilting your jaw to the side.

“Only if you stop resisting.”

One of the corners of his lips curled up, “If you don’t…” He paused, trailing his tongue on the side of your neck. He held your throat, pressing his thumb on your wind pipe, “You won’t like what will happen.”

The conditions and choice laid before you, crystal clear. Either submit to his sadistic whims or he’ll force you into submission. One worse than another yet the outcome of both the choices would be same – loss of your dignity. Just the mere thought of the impending doom had your gut twisting with fear. Protesting against his desires did nothing but brought bruises upon you until then. The dried blood on your lips and neck served as proof. Your head was already dizzy from the previous repeated assault. You could only hope that submission would be a better approach.

Setting aside your pride, you reluctantly relaxed in his grasp.

“Good choice.”

His eyes held amusement, pulling your face up, his mouth latched on yours. Tongue invading and exploring each corner while you tried to stop the whimpers. His grip tightened on your wrists, causing you to wince in pain. Any more pressure and you were sure, your wrists would snap in two.

“Pl-please, it hurts… st-stop.”

He raised an eyebrow, squeezing your wrist tighter, “Does it now?” He soon got his answer as you winced in pain again, an audible yelp escaping your mouth.

“Say, doll,” He continued. “If I let go off you now, you wouldn’t try anything stupid, right?”

Too paralyzed by fear and the sting in your wrists held you incapable of answering. You could only nod as a response and so you did.

Sukuna frowned. He asked you a question and you dare not answer him? He reached for your jaw again, nails leaving crescent moon shapes on your skin. “Use your words, you dumb bitch.” He jerked your face, “I want to hear that sweet voice of yours.”

He inserted his forefinger and thumb on the gap of your mouth, pinching your tongue. “Or, do you want me to shut you up forever?”

You shook your head, managing to croak out, “No.”

“No what?”

“No,” You paused, looking into his eyes which held nothing but coldness. “No… I wouldn’t try anything stupid.”

He smirked as he released his grip from your wrists and jaw, “Good girl.” His nails began to grown into sharp dark claws. In a swift motion, your shirt was ripped from your body. The tattered fabric thrown away, as he glided the claw of his forefinger through your abdomen. The jitter down your spine wasn’t unnoticed but Sukuna was too mesmerized by the perfect form under him to mind it. Hooking his finger under the mid-section of your brassier, he pulled away the last clothing covering your bosom.

You flinched as the cool night air hit your bare skin, hardening your buds. You couldn’t help but close your eyes shut as the moon glinted through Sukuna’s red irises.

He had no care for your reactions, soon he took one of your breast in hand, as he pinched the bud of another eliciting a painful moan from you. He rolled and pinched them between his fingers as you gritted your teeth.

You were disgusted. Disgusted that he was tormenting you like this. Disgusted at yourself that you were helpless; you couldn’t escape him. And disgusted that you could feel the heat pooling in your core.

You gasped as you felt his tongue lick a line over your breast, he held in hand. And soon his mouth latched onto it. He sucked and licked your sensitive area. You had to bite down your bruised lips to stop the sounds yet it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough when his teeth grazed over the darkened skin of your bosom; you let out a whine. He groped your other breast as his free hand trailed down over to your core. His fingers dug inside the waistline of your skirt.

Sukuna couldn’t help but smirk as he felt the wetness on your panties. Pulling away from you, he licked his lips. “Ah- look at that, all that defiance still you’re so wet, doll.”

Your eyes opened wide, you parted your lips to retort but there wasn’t one in the first place. Silence was your only answer. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You didn’t like it one bit, there were no joy for your body to react this way. Then why?

With another move, your skirt and inner garment was shredded. A low squeal escaped your lips as your cheeks tinted red with shame. Sukuna chuckled, “Say it whore, you want it as much, right?”

“N-no, I-” You screeched, as his claws dug into your thighs. Blood leaking from the cuts as he applied more pressure.

“What was that? A no, was it?” His voice echoed in your ears, his eyes dripping with malice and even when there was a smile in his face, you knew it was far from a genuine one.

You frantically shook your head, “No, I- I am sorry.” You apologized repeatedly, breaking your words in between. “Please… I didn’t m-mean to, I am sorry.”

“Sorry won’t fix shit, doll.” Just like that, the claws on his fingers again shorten up to nails. Two fingers run over the wetness of your slit, coating them in the warmth of your arousal. Tears spring up to your eyes as he pushed both of the digits inside, earning a loud moan from you as those drops slid down yours eyes.

“Look at you crying like a pathetic whore,” He cackled as he increased the pace of his fingers, hitting on the bundle of nerves inside you. “How utterly pitiful,” He remarked, a smirk formed on his lips as he saw the tears glide down your eyes. They did nothing but urge him to go more as he crossed both the fingers in a V, stretching you more.

“Just like a dumb bitch.” He mused, “A good for nothing, fuckdoll, that’s what you’re, right?”

Your hips buckled as a knot formed in your stomach, and you could feel your release close by. You writhed under his cruel ministrations, your body reacting in ways you didn’t wish at all.

“Hold it,” He ordered as he felt your insides clamp on his fingers. You pressed your lips in a thin line, biting on them. Your nails digging on the rough concrete you laid on.

“If you want to cum, fucking beg for it like a slut.”

You hated it, hated each second of it. Still you couldn’t decipher why there was a rush of heat to your aching core when he called with such a degrading name. You wondered whether you had gone insane to find pleasure in being handled such a way.

“Go on, slut,” He cooed at you, pressing his thumb on your clitoris. “Beg for it, beg me to make you cum.”

Your throat went dry and as if on autopilot, the cursed words left your lips, “Please, let me cum, Sukuna.” Your hips jerked towards him to maximize the friction. “Please.”

Sukuna grinned. Its victory – his victory. He relished each moment of how it was him, only him who had you writhing and begging under him.

“Cum.”

Your hips buckled again as you arched your back, releasing the pent up tension on his fingers. God forbid, if you hadn’t ever thought about killing yourself before. You did then. You wished for nothing but to die. Either by his hands or you’d kill yourself on your own. The humiliation of giving into his whims elicited a painful sobs from you.

What curse befell you? What have you ever done to deserve this? Why were you being subjected to this torment? Why does this night seem to not end?

He pulled out his fingers, rubbing them together as he watched the sticky liquid glide down his palm. For a second, the malicious smile remained on his face. The next, he frowned.

No. Not enough. It wasn’t enough.

He wiped his hands on the torn fabric of what remained of your skirt. But you were too far down the road of self-depreciation to care. The only sound reverberating on your mind was your pleas as you wished for the God of death to descend and take you away with them.

“Kill me,” The words left your lips before they could be stopped, but you didn’t care. He had you where he wanted, he got what he wanted. He wanted you to plead, you’d plead before him. “Please, kill me… please.”

He raised an eyebrow at the sudden shower of requests. “Now, why would I do that, doll?”

“Just,” You paused, your eyes held nothing but desperation. “Do it, kill me, please.” You saw how his lips twisted into a grimace, his eyes locked on yours.

“Please, just kill me,” You begged again, shutting your eyes close as you leaned your head on the bloodied concrete. You heard ruffling and just when you thought your wish would be answered, it wasn’t.

Perhaps, you had forgotten this night wasn’t for you.

To have someone begging for death wasn’t new to him. Normally, he’d kill them after they were done serving their purpose. But it was you. And heavens, he had taken quite a liking to you. Killing you so soon, would be futile. Besides, he still wasn’t done with you.

He clamped your mouth shut with his palm as he pressed the tip of his hardened member on your entrance. The tightness he felt on his fingers, previously, gave way to the fact of your lack of experience. In simple words – your intact virginity. He expected nothing less than a maiden like you. How pitiful, your preserved innocence was to be shredded by him.

Your body tenses immediately as he drives his hips forward, the hand over your mouth tightened; muffling all the screams that were ready to escaped. Just like that, the last straw of yourself, of the girl you once were was destroyed.

Your eyes opened wide, you shook your head as your lower body burnt in searing pain. Like hot lava poured on you, you kicked your legs but it only amplified the awful stinging between your thighs.

Sukuna watched the blood drip down you, he pushed his hips forward hitting you on the deepest parts. He pulled away again before pushing back in with equal force. Each thrust deeper and painful from the other. His nails dug into your hips as he pulled you towards himself, throwing your legs over his shoulder he continued this brutal torment. Revelling on the terror stricken expression that plagued your eyes.

Warm tears slid down your cheeks to your jaw as the agony never let go.

Which pain hurt more?

The one he was inflicting on you? Or the one you inflicted on yourself when the pain started to contort in form of pleasure?

Sukuna wasn’t new to the concept of coupling. For in the Heian era, he had women spreading their legs for him at his command. He was aware of every strings he had to pull to make the session a memorable one. Though he never cared for his partners pleasures except his own, this time he thought something different. For being so wondrous and good to him, you deserved some reward.

His free hand went down as he rubbed circles over your clitoris. Thrusting hard into you, each grunt filled with unbridled pleasure as your inner muscle walls tightened around him.

This wasn’t right. Not at all. Finding ecstasy under this vile monster was sick. And yet you reacted on ways you didn’t want at all. You hated how your hips jerked forward on their own and how instead of screaming, those sounds were of pleasurable moans. To find pleasure in unwanted act – you must be sick. Twisted even. Insane to mark the more.

Sukuna could feel himself twitch as your walls tightened around him. He let out a snicker as his hand went up to pinch and grope your breast. The high end was near, he could feel it. Not just for him but for you too.

“What is it, whore? Want to cum again?” He urged, squeezing your breast. The contortion of your face left him over the edge as he let out a low grunt. He scoffed, “Look at you, squirming like a pathetic bitch in heat.”

He thrusted forward, increasing his pace as he hit your cervix repeatedly. You twisted your upper body, your fingers bloodied with the broken nails and pierced skin as they dug into the hard floor.

“If you want to cum, then cum.”

You didn’t even know, you were waiting for his permission but when he gave it – your body spasmed as your back arched and you felt your high washing over. You released with him buried deep inside you and soon after a few violent thrusts, he emptied himself inside you.

Your eyes widened, your mouth open wide as the gush of fluids had you nauseous. You looked up into his eyes which held satisfaction. Satisfaction of getting rid of the frustration but that overshadowed by the satisfaction of defiling you.

You were wrong. This night wasn’t for him, it was for you.

Each and everything that went down tonight was solely for you.

The look in his eyes terrified you. No, it wasn’t the look of a killer, he wouldn’t kill you; you were sure of that. But it was the very look of not killing you that terrified you. It was the realization that your life wouldn’t end by his hands that was terrifying.

Death now seemed to be a better option than anything.

You looked up at the sky, the full moon casting its silver hues on the monster above you. A sob left your lips as he pulled away from you. Your chest rumbled with despair as you were left nothing but a crying mess under that celestial body.

For you knew, it witnessed the monstrosity that went down tonight.

Till now, the moon reminded you of a silent companion for it knew all about you. It did still. But from hence now, looking at that heavenly body would do nothing but remind you of this night. Remind you of your lost purity.

Just like the tattered clothes on your body, your innocence was ripped apart. Destroyed.

You knew you’d never be able to go back to what you once were. This night will haunt you like a ghost in the dark. No amount of assurances, comforts or anything else would be enough to erase this incident. It’d be etched in your mind till the day you die and with that Sukuna’s name will be forever be imprinted in your life.

You could wash off the blood and other liquids but you could never remove his touch.

Why were you here? Why did it happen? Why did it have to be you?

If only you weren’t here. If only you’d stayed in like your parents asked. If only you didn’t love the moon…

Sukuna gazed at you with a bored expression as you drowned in the depths of despair and agony. He clicked his tongue as he wiped himself off on the remnants of your clothes before settling his clothes properly.

All of a sudden, a sting ran through his head. He smirked at that. He licked his lips as he spared you a last glance.

“Enjoy the sight, brat.”

His body relaxed for a second, the marks disappearing from his frame. Red eyes converted to brown as the extra pair of eyes turned to scars.

You, his middle school friend, were lying before him. Dried blood splayed across your body, scratches and bite marks over your chest and neck and a pool of blood under your head. The glistening sweat on his body as well as yours put the puzzle pieces in place. If that wasn’t enough, Yuji’s eyes widened with horror as all the memories from Sukuna’s mind rushed in his.

He could hear your screams and cries all at once when Sukuna left his very mark on you. It was there for a second when all the noise was ringing in his ears but the next, only the ragged breathing of the victim and the perpetrator’s alter ego was heard.

Yuji glanced down at his hands.

Why wasn't he dead yet?

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somekindofcontraption · 5 months

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"Acceptable Violence" in OFMD Season 2: deconstructing violence within the context of the show's parameters

I've been doing a lot of thinking about violence and the second season of Our Flag Means Death. I've come to some conclusions that I would like to share, but I would like to preface my thoughts with a disclaimer or two:

I did not like the second season, for myriad reasons, some of which I will outline here. But I am not here to attack you if you liked the season. I am not here to make commentary on who you are as a person or your personal taste if you liked the season. My not liking the season does not mean you can't like the season. In short: my dislike of the season is not about you at all! Also, this is not an academic paper. Which doesn't mean I might not do that in the future, but for now this is just an assembly of analysis and thoughts. If you do not care to read analytical criticism of something you deeply enjoyed? I invited you to scroll onward. If you liked the second season but would like to hear some of the reasons why many, including myself, didn't - carry on! The rest is under the cut.

The first season of Our Flag Means Death dips its toes into the world of piracy by following the unfolding story of Stede Bonnet, the newly minted former aristocrat-turned-pirate who dreams of a new sort of piracy; a gentler, more polite means of pirating. Things, as they said, did not go according to plan. The first season does an excellent job of laying the complex groundwork for an in-world set of principles which tell us what sort of violence is "normal" or "acceptable" in the context of the show and what isn't. (Please assume from here on out that when I say acceptable and normal the "quotes" are implied, as I am not talking about what is acceptable and normal in real life.) It does this through narrative framing, by softening more intense instances of violence through comedy and by pushing it off-screen, and by establishing who is a good guy and who is Not. Unacceptable: Stede Bonnet getting beat on, tied up, and bullied by the Badmintons and their ilk as a child. He's soft and likes flowers! He's got a mean dad! No one likes bullies! It's framed as a negative, it's not super funny (the camera cuts to Stede's face both in the past and present looking distressed, and Stede is the hero, so this can be generally accepted as bad.) This leads us to: Acceptable: Badminton getting whacked over the head and falling on his own sword. This I would categorize as what people have been referring to as "looney tune violence." He was a bully! He's part of a colonial navy! He was being absolutely horrible to Stede! It's funny that Stede is so inept!

Stede feels guilty about it, it causes him trauma, but that trauma is treated, quite often, comedically (see Badminton's "ghost" taunting him, characters treatment of his breakdown, etc). The context clues for whether or not this is acceptable violence are baked right into the writing, too. Oluwande says - claiming that Stede killed Badminton on purpose would gain him the respect of his crew. This is violence that in-world is both acceptable, expected, and also respected for the captain of a pirate ship. (See also: Murdering and/or tying up the remaining British navy crew and putting them through the same thing Stede went through. It's framed as triumphant, Stede having been vindicated, the crew celebrating it as a victory.) Unacceptable: Stede's concept of "soft piracy" of course comes crashing down when his whimsical attempt to woo the Spanish navy is cut short by his getting gut-stabbed.

Stede and the crew are being framed as the heroes of the story and the Spaniards are framed as the bad guys; this setup is why this violence, while totally within the realms of something our crew would do, is categorized as unacceptable. It's also important to note, however, that while it could have been quite a bit more graphic and disturbing if shot differently, the swelling symphony, the comedic cuts of the Spaniards triumphantly getting their ass kicked, softens the blow. Other acceptable instances of violence: The snail fork - horrifying if you think about it, but the narrative softens the blow. The guy was just really racist, giving us a sense of vindictive pleasure, and the violence is all off-screen (we don't actually have to see someone getting skinned with a snail fork). The French ship - again, horrifying if you think too much about people trapped on a burning ship in the middle of the ocean. But, they had all just been huge racist shit-heads who had harmed our heroes. In the context of the narrative, it is framed as being justified. We also don't actually see anyone burning to death, and we get a very funny shot of Ed looking at Stede in awe, and Stede looking very please with himself, confirming in-narrative that this was okay. Other unacceptable instances of violence:

Karl the bird - Jack is framed as an antagonist; he comes between Ed and Stede, obstructing the narrative subplot. Buttons, and by extension Karl, are part of the crew, the heroes. When Karl dies Buttons is devastated, everyone looks uncomfortable, and it's the last straw for Stede to kick Jack off the ship. Plus, there's the an "innocent character" thing similar to Stede as a child getting bullied; Karl was an animal, with no defenses, who did nothing wrong.

Finally, of course, we arrive at the moment that Lucius is pushed from the ship. Unacceptable: By all accounts, pushing people from ships is probably not outside the realm of things that pirates Definitely Do. But here we have another great instance of framing heroes and bad guys. In this case, we have a hero (Ed), seemingly killing another hero (Lucius), who was not only just trying to help him, but was absolutely not expecting violence. We also have a "death" that happened off-screen. We don't see Lucius "drowning." Had Lucius actually died, I think this would have been horrifying. Narratively and thematically, it would not have fit into the spirit of the show, because you could no longer frame Ed as a hero. There would be no real way that I can see to meaningfully redeem him in the context of a comedy, even a "black comedy" (which I do not believe OFMD is). And genuinely, I don't know anyone who thought Lucius was actually dead, so while what Ed did was horrible and awful and needed to be atoned for, it wasn't Final. It wasn't Irredeemable. He didn't become a capital v Villain. The rules of the first season made sense to me. Everything that happened fit narratively, was thematically appropriate, and established a certain set of rules and conventions to follow. It gets dark, and it does push the envelope of what I could bear in a "romantic comedy." Ed cutting off Izzy's toe is tempered (cutting off his littlest toe with a comedically large pair of scissors) but feeding them to him is disturbing. Izzy was an antagonist, not a villain, so giving him treatment reserved for, say, the British navy characters, and doing so graphically and on-screen, was A Lot. This coming from me, who really, REALLY hated Izzy at this point in time. But I think there was an underlying sense of hope that things would improve, resolve, and move forward through character growth and narrative. Stede was coming back to make amends; maybe Ed would find his way back to normalcy, and they'd meet in the middle. It was expected that apologies would be made and Ed could come back from the unacceptable things he did to Lucius, to the Crew, and to Izzy especially. That there would be character and interpersonal growth for them.

Unfortunately, the second season is where the show's parameters around acceptable and unacceptable violence absolutely falls apart. It's never quite clear why something is acceptable vs not, and we never see the character and interpersonal growth "promised" by the narrative which would redeem the dark tonal shift and veer the story back towards comedy. In order for Ed to be redeemed, the violence being framed as unacceptable during his Kraken era could not be so unacceptable that it crosses the line into irredeemable. Ed could not cross the line in the minds of the audience from "hero" to "villain." But the first three episodes of the season... were dark. They crossed the line. It felt like a character assassination to me. Ed's abuse of the crew, the continued maiming of Izzy (who at this point is hurdling into a sympathetic character arc of growth and redemption,) the self-harm, the attempted murder-suicide of his crew... most of it was on-screen, not at all tempered by comedy, and brutal. It wasn't heroes vs villains, it was supposed hero causing extensive harm and trauma to other heroes. The writing in these episodes were narratively cohesive and well-paced. They were not, however, thematically appropriate to a romantic comedy. At this point in the season I still felt like it was building towards a breaking point where Ed would come back to himself, where character growth would be achieved, and amends would be made. I was willing to hold tight.

But it didn't work in terms of the story that was setup in season one. It would have taken an incredible amount of character growth to even begin to come back from that; but I trusted the narrative to deliver. However, the real problem is that this season tried to rewrite the in-show parameters of what constitutes acceptable violence in ways that are uncomfortable and contrary to reality in ways that I find harmful. (I will be clear, in reference to recent discourse, I do feel the head-butt was comedic. It was looney tunes violence, it was well within the context of a romantic comedy, and it worked for me tonally, even though it's obviously not appropriate in real life.) Ed's chair throwing in the context of a man who had spent three episodes inflicting increasingly terrible domestic violence on people who loved and cared for him, who stuck by him -- in the larger context of him doing all this just because he felt rejected by a romantic partner -- is presented as in-show acceptable violence. It's presented as falling within the parameters. Proof? We are expected to still like Ed, and root for Ed, and want Ed to get better, and cheer for the romantic pairing "getting back together," and everything else. He is still presented as a hero. Sure, the show is telling us that what Ed did in his Kraken era is bad; but not so Bad that we shouldn't forgive him for it when he has made no real move to make amends for what he did. Like the crew, and Izzy specifically, we are meant to simply... move forward. That line about "getting away with it" without consequences I thought was a commentary on how Ed would not get to do that, actually was just... what happened. The season also wants me to believe that in the in-show parameters that Ed would hurt absolutely anybody but DEFINITELY NOT Stede, because Stede is his ultra super special soul mate and he would never do him any harm. This is not how things work in real life, and it is not a disbelief I am willing to suspend uncritically. Do I believe Ed, in the context of the show, would hurt Stede? Nope. I think it's more likely Stede would hurt Ed than the other way around. But I don't like the message that this in-show parameter sends, about how violence, particularly DV, is inflicted. I don't like being told that there is a super special person that this person who has abused others won't hurt. It's a bad message, and bad writing, and bad in-show precedence to set.

I'm not going to say all this without mentioning the stereotypes surrounding men of color, particular Indigenous men, which paints them as abusers. These stereotypes have been mentioned in regards to people talking about Ed's abuse this season. It's important to examine and be critical of oneself as a white person, and look long and hard at these biases. I don't want to fall into the trap of racist biases, and I don't want it to go unmentioned. I have thought long and hard about this. I've done a lot of self-examination on the subject of Ed and abuse. It has brought me back to my point of character assassination; I think the show fell into those stereotypes itself. I think Ed's characterization this season was problematic, and a disservice to the character as laid out in season one, and that's a big part of my disappointment with this season. (I also have a lot of thoughts on how Stede's character, who has been handed an immense amount of power over Ed and his agency as a character, is also extremely problematic. I will get into that in another post; it needs its own. So I'm not here to say Stede himself is not a Problem because he absolutely is and I will shout it from the rooftops.) "But somekindofcontraption," you say! "Ed has trauma!" Yes. That is very true. And it certainly explains some things, but as in real life, it absolutely does not excuse them. Ed's narrative was all about the perpetuation of trauma, particularly generational trauma, with absolutely no criticism or breakage of this cycle in any meaningful or productive way. It set up the story and did no work to resolve it. Ed was simply fixed because he and Stede said I love you and kissed a few times. The romance's "resolution" was unearned and unsatisfying. Neither Stede nor Ed were held accountable for what they did.

Then there was Izzy, who spent the whole of his arc being redeemed, moving forward as a character. He was the only character, I would say, with any meaningful growth. He's also the only one whose story was explicitly about being queer and queer discovery, rather than queerness merely being and incidental part of it. He's the only one who shows any accountability. Right up until the point that he died, his story was the best-written out of all of them. Then he dies. Izzy's death, and the ways that tonally it does not fit into the narrative, is another post onto itself. For now, I'll leave you with all of these rambling thoughts, condensed down as best I could into this tumblr post. If you have any further thoughts, I would love to hear them in good faith. For now, I say, that it's okay to be disappointed. This story was so meaningful to so many, and to be so thoroughly let down is hard. Grief is grief. Take care out there, and be kind to yourself, and be kind to those that are grieving.

#ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd critical #ofmd meta #ofmd analysis

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natsmagi · 7 months

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sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.

#maybe ill delete this later idk but i just felt like i needed to say something #as i constantly see these things being spoken of yet never do these people actually reach out to femstarries #and ask Hey why are you doing this?#so instead they make bad faith assumptions and it really sucks.#and while im here;#trans hcs count as genderbends. Because you have changed the characters gender #*IF the org chara is a cisman and you make them a trans woman i should add #once again Stop treating trans and cis people as two separate things #if it was a cisbend itd be CALLED CISBEND #and the reason i tag genderbend is because i know some people dont like it #and thats valid!!! no one is forced to like this kind of stuff!!!#and some people who dont like genderbends might be new to enstars and dont know what femstars is #so should it not still be tagged for those people too?#should we not look out for the trans people who dont wish to see their favs be a different gender???#i dont get it. i really dont #this post probably wont even reach the right audience but wtv #nat rambles #nats enst posting

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olenvasynyt · 2 months

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Does Azriel have a hero complex?

So I think a lot of SJM characters have a hero complex (Rhys and Aelin especially) but I want to talk about Az specifically because I think it is an essential part of his character.

Now since barely get any POVs with Az we do not really know the inner workings of his mind and almost everything that we know about him is from other characters’ perspectives. So this is all based on my interpretation of him and his actions, and not every action he makes is a result of a hero complex. And I also don’t have a psychology degree or anything like that this is just for fun and a savior complex is not something you can diagnose anyway. This is just a character analysis! It’s fun.

Saving people

The basic definition of a hero complex is the constant need to save people. Most people think of the knight and damsel in distress when a hero complex is mentioned, and this is true with Az: he has rescued Mor and Elain and Gwyn. And rescuing people is of course part of it, but it’s a lot more intricate than just that; there are tons of other tendencies someone with a savior complex can have, and I personally think Az has tons of these tendencies.

2. very perceptive and sympathetic

A person with a hero complex is very perceptive and sympathetic. They’re usually drawn to people who’ve had a lot of trauma. They have a lot of empathy for others who are suffering. They’re good at knowing what a person needs.

You see this when he teaches Feyre to fly: he offers his backstory on how he learned and his love for the Nephelle philosophy to sympathize with her and this is actually the first time we hear Az talk a bit about his own past. He is very sympathetic and perspective with Elain. In ACOWAR he’s very quiet and courteous with her and offers to take her to see the garden.

I really like this quote:

Page 334 of ACOWAR: It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. The male who heard things others could not…Perhaps he too had suffered as Elain before he understood what gift he possessed.

3. Doing the dirty but necessary work

A person with a hero complex does the dirty but necessary work that most people don’t want to do. I would argue that being the court torture-master is doing the dirty work. And Rhys’ father used him and his shadow abilities when he was alive and high lord, and he is part of Rhys’ inner circle so he is important and he votes on things, etc, but he still does the dirty work, he does the spying and the torturing.

Quote on page 175 of ACOMAF: “It’s hard to tell with him—and he’d never tell me. I’ve witnessed Cassian rip apart opponents and then puke his guts up once the carnage stopped, sometimes mourn over them. But Azriel…Cassian tries, I try…but I think the only person who ever gets him to admit his feelings is Mor. And that’s only when his infinite patience runs out.”

Cassian says Rhys’ father ”kept [Az] for himself as his personal shadowsinger—mostly for spying and dirty work.”

And you can’t really tell if as likes this work but it is important.

In ACOMAF page 288: ”Does he mind what he does? Not the spying, I mean. What he did to the Attor today.” ”It’s hard to tell with him—and he’d never tell me. I’ve witnessed Cassian rip apart opponents and then puke his guts up once the carnage stopped, sometimes mourn over them. But Azriel…Cassian tries, I try…but I think the only person who ever gets him to admit his feelings is Mor. And that’s only when his infinite patience runs out.”

4. Dismissing their own needs/pain, neglecting self-care

And that sort of brings me to my next point:

They dismiss their own needs and continue to help others even if it negatively impacts them. Not only does he keep secrets about his past, but he doesn’t like when people worry about him.

ACOMAF page 288: ”Are you worried about Az going to the mortal lands tomorrow?” ”Of course I am. But Azriel has infiltrated places far more harrowing than a few mortal courts. He’d find my worrying insulting.”

He works really hard and that’s another huge thing with a savior / hero complex. He works himself so hard to the point where his friends worry for him.

Page 376 ACOMAF: ”Getting Azriel to take any time for himself that didn’t involve work or training was nearly impossible.”

He often wants to go into battle even when he was injured.

Quote from ACOWAR page 610: ”The argument with Rhys this morning had been swift and brutal: Azriel insisted he could fly—fight with they legions….Rhys refused…Azriel threatened to slip into shadow and fight anyway. Rhys merely said that if he so much as tried, he’d chain him to a tree…It was only when Mor had begged him that he relented.”

5. Emotional and psychological burnout

And all of this leads to burnout which is a huge thing with Az. He’s obviously very broody, and he suppresses his feelings, works really hard doing very laborious and traumatizing things and this leads to burnout. We have evidence of this from not only his broodiness and quietness,

Page 293 of ACOMAF: Az gets back from the mortal realm, he’s described as needing to “return and assess…assess—and brood, it seemed, since Azriel had barely managed a polite hello to me before launching into sparring with Rhysand, his face grim and tight.” Used sparring to ”help work off his frustration”.

but physically too with the headaches that he gets.

Page 186 of ACOFAS: “I had Madja make it for me. It’s a powder to mix in with any drink…it’s for the headaches everyone always gives you. Since you rub your temples too often.”

6. Low self-esteem, need for perfection

He doesn’t think he’s good enough, he doesn’t think his work is enough, he doesn’t think his ’heroic actions’ are enough. You can see this with his spies; he wants his spying to be perfect to help people and help his High Lord.

Page 376 ACOMAF: —the frustration of not being able to get his spies or himself into those courts took a toll on him. The standards to which he held himself, [Mor] confided in me, bordered on sadistic.

(this also contributes to the fact that he pushes himself too hard)

ACOMAF 205-206, Rhys says ”I don’t trust this information, even with your sources…” ”They can be trusted,” Azriel said with quiet steel, his scarred hands clenching at his leather-clad sides. ”We aren’t taking risks where this is concerned,” Rhys merely said. He held Azriel’s stare, and I could almost hear the silent words Rhys added, It is no judgement or reflection on you, Az. Not at all. But Azriel yielded no tinge of emotion as he nodded, his hands unfurling. ”So what do we have planned?” Mor cut in—perhaps for Az’s sake.

Everyone understands he has low self esteem.

Page 256 ACOMAF: ”He set down his fork, blinking. I might even called him self-conscious.”

And in ACOWAR Rhys says he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Mor.

Page 460 of ACOWAR: Feyre: ”But—he loves her. How can he sit idly by?” Rhys: ”He thinks she’s happier without him…he thinks he’s unworthy of her.”

I go back and forth between if he thinks he’s deserving of Elain or not, because this quote says he isn’t worthy,

ACOSF bonus chapter: “She looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars. Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege for his fingers to skin, tainting her with his presence. But he could have this. This one moment, and maybe a taste, and that would be it.”

but another quote in the bonus chapter implies so does think he’s worthy but I’ll talk about that later.

7. Guilt and overthinking

Az seems to often feel guilty when one of the plans goes wrong; he thinks he didn’t do as much as he could have.

Page 346 of ACOWAR: ”Hybern had made its grand move at last. And we had not anticipated it. I knew Azriel would take the blame upon himself. One look at the shadowsinger…told me he already did.”

He may have felt guilty for not reaching Cassian in time when he was gutted fighting that Hybern commander in ACOWAR

Page 543 of ACOWAR: ”’By the time Az got there, he was down.’ Azriel’s face was stone-cold, even as his hazel eyes fixed unrelentingly upon that knitting wound.”

He might feel guilty for not helping Mor enough with Az, and he also feels guilty for keeping Rhys’ plan to let Keir into Velaris a secret.

Page 414 of ACOWAR: "Whether [Mor] knew that though she’d tried to move past the bargain we’d made, the guilt of it still haunted Azriel, she didn’t let on.”

And when Eris calls More a slut, Az attacks him violently and Feyre has to call him off. And I think this was a telling sign of his guilt:

Page 429 of ACOWAR:

”As Azriel turned his face toward me—The frozen rage rooted me to the spot. But beneath it, I could almost see the images that haunted him: the hand Mor had yanked away, her weeping, distraught face as she had screamed at Rhys.”

He defends people to make up for his guilt, which sort of brings me to my next point:

8. Issues with overstepping boundaries and self-efficacy

I’m not talking about him kissing Elain in the bonus chapter and overstepping the boundaries of her mating bond with Lucien. I’m talking about how a person with a hero complex oversteps and takes on other people’s responsibilities/problems. With self-efficacy, a person with a hero complex might unintentionally undermine someone’s self-efficacy by not allowing them to face and overcome challenges on their own.

And he doesn’t do this all the time. In fact there are situations, specifically emotional situations that don’t pertain to him, that he walks away from and he goes ” That’s not my business.”

But you see this with Mor a lot, he is super defensive for Mor: when Eris calls her a slut during the High Lord’s meeting, he attacks him and chokes him out. He jumps to her defense all the time even when she doesn’t ask for it.

He also refuses Elain’s offer to look for the Trove in ACOSF:

Page 311 of ACOSF: “We do not have the time to wait for Nesta to decide. I say we approach Elain tomorrow. Better to have both of them working on it.” Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

9. Fear of abandonment and rejection

And all of this pertaining to the hero complex, including overstepping boundaries, continuously helping, etc can be because of their fear of rejection. A person with a savior complex fears being alone so they continuously help others to ensure their relationship continues.

Az actually tried to bring up his feelings for Mor after he rescues her from the Autumn court border and she leaves (talk about bad timing AZ) but I feel like Az hasn’t brought up his love for Mor because he fears rejection and also because of his low self-esteem.

Mor often has an argument with Rhys and he turns to Az to defend her and often he’s hesitant.

Page 186 of ACOWAR: Mor whipped her head to Azriel. ”What do you think?” The shadowsinger held her stare, his face unreadable. Considering. I tried not to hold my breath. Defending the female he loved or siding with his High Lord…”It’s not my call to make.” ”That’s a bullshit answer,” Mor challenged. ”I could have sworn hurt flickered in Azriel’s eyes, but he only shrugged.

You see this with his guilt that I brought up before with not doing enough to stop Hybern from attacking in ACOWAR, and his guilt over not telling Mor about their plan with Kier and Eris and letting Keir have access to Velaris.

And this is an excellent quote:

Page 460 of ACOWAR: ”There will come a day when Azriel has to decide if he is going to fight for her or let her go. And it won’t be because some other male insults her or beds her.”

And he probably fears rejection from Elain.

10. A need for validation

Now another tendency a person with a savor complex can have is the need for validation, they want acknowledgment for the good things they’ve done, and this can lead to resentment if they are acknowledged.

And I don’t necessarily think this is Az, I feel like he would just say that helping is his job, being spymaster is his job, saving people is his job” but you can see in the bonus chapter of Silver Flames when Rhys asks him if he thinks he deserves Elain as a mate, he says ”I don’t think Lucien will be good enough for him” which in my opinion implies that Az thinks he is more heroic / more worthy of having Elain as a mate and sees Lucien as a coward.

ACOSF bonus chapter: “The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another.” “You believe you deserve to be her mate?" “I think Lucien will never be good enough for her…”

There are obviously tons of other aspects of a hero complex beside a knight rescuing a damsel that I think apply to Az; he is a super traumatized and I think his hero complex / heroism in general is a result of that.

#acotar #azriel shadowsinger #tiktok video summary #character analysis #mor acotar #elain archeron #rhysand #a court of thorns and roses

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sokkastyles · 8 months

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Mai brings out the worst in Zuko. He's always more negative with her, it's like how he would try to get affection from his family by being mean to others. I feel like if Mai had a decent rendemption I could get behind the relationship because I would feel like she could understand what he went through in a way that Katara doesn't but that's not what happened. He had a better relationship with Ty Lee and they barely spoke to each other!

The Boiling Rock scene where she saves him could have been a redemption if she didn't then come back in the finale and act like he owed her for saving him...after she was part of the reason he almost died in the first place. "Saving the jerk who dumped me" could have led to a realization that Zuko's mission was more important than her relationship with him, but unfortunately we don't get that. There's no sense that she even realized she did anything wrong, she just comes back to yell at Zuko and tell him to never break up with her again and that she "kind of likes him," and Zuko accepts that because he's so worried that she hates him that he forgot why he broke up with her in the first place, just like he apparently forgot that she was in prison.

Saying that Mai brings out the worst in Zuko isn't even me insulting Mai, because she was meant to. That was what their relationship was built on when Zuko wanted to pretend that going back to the Fire Nation was what he wanted, and we were supposed to read it as a negative relationship. That's why Ty Lee is more understanding to Zuko in one line than Mai ever is. That's also why Mai had to have a redemption in the first place. It's just not a very believable one, and that would be okay if she was paired with another minor villain who had a minor redemption, but she's paired with Zuko, who is one of the most complex characters who has the most significant redemption arc in the series.

And not to make this about zutara but since you mentioned Katara, one can't help notice the way the narrative sets up Zuko almost turning coat because of Katara's compassion and understanding in the caves, and then the very next episode being clearly upset about going back to the Fire Nation while his new girlfriend Mai dismisses his feelings and ignores him while he continues to look unhappy. We are supposed to notice this! It's a very classic set up as part of Zuko's narrative of realizing the things he thought he wanted are not what he needed, and Mai is a part of that narrative. It bothers me so much that the show then acts like Zuko did something wrong by breaking up with her because he realized that saving the world was more important. "But he broke up with her by letter," you say? I don't care, he did what he needed to do to survive, and Mai's reaction when she does confront him also proves that to be the right choice.

Mai's redemption is like if Zuko joined the gaang and become firelord and then at the end was like "actually maybe I'll start another war" and Aang had this "Oh shit I'm in the doghouse" expression and then Zuko was like "good thing I kinda like you Aang" and then they hugged.

#zuko #antimaiko

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ironwoodprotectionsquad · 6 months

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Okay so that last addition by bad food sells burgers to the ask I made got a bit heated and I think was a misassumption thinking that I think it’s wrong for people to call things and say how they affect their feelings and how it negatively shows their life so let me put it this way cause I want to leave you be about this, I am sorry for bothering you about it. In their justified passion to explain their examples really really just more so confused so I’m partially lost again.

Also please I am not saying any of this really in regards to Ironwood himself when asking about “limited” writing rules of disabled characters because that ship had long sailed and did not apply to Ironwood and was the creator intent.

So to swing this back around:

If they Ironwood “throwing away his humanity” was not based on him adding prosthetics but solely about him pushing down his emotions so that he could make the hard choices that no one else would, would that have been fine for his character.

That’s what I’m essentially getting at in terms of writing a disabled character in such a manner. Is this a case in which the word humanity needs to be switched with emotion or a case where a disabled character should just as a rule not be used.

That’s really at the heart at the new turn of this topic. Not on Ironwood or Penny or Yang, RT fucked up already. I agree with everything you have said in the past of your blog that has said as such.

How and when can you have a disabled character be a villain. Would it be like Tyrian Callows or Vader where they are villains prior to any injuries that would make them disabled.

Once more this is the last time I will ever bother you with this topic. As someone who is working on their writing and wants to make sure they do good by certain characters.This is not meant as sarcasm or a means over confrontation on representation and Rooster Teeth being Rooster Teeth.

I cannot speak for badfoodsellsburgers and their intentions really that’s more of something they can discuss if they have any sort of desire to. Tone and meaning over text can be extremely difficult to understand so I know from experience it can very easily lead To misunderstandings. You’re not bothering me I’m happy to talk, this particular topic can be emotional and given how complex these issues are can be hard to discuss without a full picture of the stories you want to tell and the themes you’re trying to convey.

Specifically for a disabled character, an arc about them pushing down their emotions is a minefield to put it bluntly. With disabled characters, their disabilities are apart of them. You can't really separate them from their disabilities because it is apart of them. With James specifically his trauma and PTSD are fueling his decision to leave and his desire to bury his emotions and make the hard choices no one wants to make. Villainizing that is villainizing his PTSD and trauma. He is having a PTSD reaction when he shuts down emotionally that is a large part of his character along with Mettle, a passive semblance he also cannot control. His response to Salem is fueled by his PTSD, which likely came about as a result from whatever event got him his prosthetics.

I think the bigger question once again is; why do you want to write disabled villains? Why do they need to be disabled? Are any of the heroes disabled? What message are you wanting for your story and why does it require a disabled villain? We have so many disabled villains I don't see why another is so necessary. We live in a world that is extremely hostile to disabled people, people make cruel and heartless "jokes" about them and no one seems to care. Even if one where to write a story the "right" way to have a disabled person be a villain....it would still feel wrong. For so long media has demonized and stripped people with any form of disability of their humanity so wanting to make more disabled villains I don't think adds anything, because people see people with disabilities as less then able bodied people, what does it add to have more disabled villains that able bodied villains cannot add? That is what I am struggling to understand why do you want a disabled villain?

It's just so easy to write an ableist story that perpetuates harmful tropes and ideologies, and its just....exhausting. I don't know how else to explain this to be honest, I just think writing a disabled villain is just too complicated to try and do correctly because of how many ableist and harmful tropes exist. Trope TV page has some extremely specific tropes that exist because of how many exist and trying to navigate it is just too difficult and too easy to accidentally cause more harm.

#rwde #james ironwood #ironwood protection squad #pro james ironwood #pro ironwood #general ironwood #general dadmiral #dadmiral ironwood

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messymindofmine · 8 months

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I know that I've talked about this before but this really is something that's been bothering me for so long now. Since the beginning of the show almost. I'm really sick of the hate TK has gotten from the start but even more than that, I'm sick of the hurt that this hate has caused people being ignored/invalidated. Since 1x02, there has been a common refrain of "Carlos deserves better than TK" and literally everything TK does (or doesn't do) is used as evidence against him. I'm also really over the people projecting their dissatisfaction over Carlos's arc this season onto TK. Just admit that you don't like the Iris storyline or the kids storyline without projecting onto the characters. Then again, I guess admitting that would mean having to admit that they actually never really even liked Carlos to begin with either and only acted like they did for as long as they could just blame his flaws and mistakes on others rather than acknowledge that he is a complex character in his own right and is allowed to mess up. It's honestly just plain annoying how so many of the people who've spent years ripping TK apart for every little thing suddenly started acting like they were only upset on his behalf this season with the Iris arc or 4x12 only to then revert back to the usual "TK doesn't love Carlos as much as Carlos loves him" refrain after 4x16. If they weren't mocking him for being "overdramatic" for being scared about the possibility of having Huntingtons, they were criticizing his wedding vows for not being good enough. Or they constantly act like any case of compassion towards TK's mistakes or talking about how he deserves love means we're ignoring Carlos. This has been going on since the start.

Now I'm not saying that there weren't people who weren't genuinely upset on TK's behalf this season nor am I saying that the people who were upset in general aren't valid. In my experience the people in the former groups aren't the ones continuously going on about how Carlos has been ruined for a start. What I am saying is that it's actually very easy to tell who was upset on TK's behalf/who had valid reasons for not liking these storylines and who was just upset that Carlos had fallen off the pedestal they'd put him on. Having watched the show since it first started airing, I actually didn't want to engage with the fandom at first because it felt like all I ever saw were people talking about how much TK sucked. And as someone who identifies with him, that really sucked. Obviously I realized that this attitude is not held by the majority but it still doesn't make it any easier to see this attitude floating around constantly. But what makes it even harder is how often I've had people reach out to me because they feel that their hurt over how TK is treated being ignored or even outright mocked. The fact that even Ronen has picked up on this and made comments about how he feels that people need to remember TK's struggles and how it affects his actions speaks volumes. I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just really exhausted and hurt over how much hate I've seen towards TK over the years and how often it feels like that has gotten swept under the rug. There are people in this fandom that actually deal with things like addiction and mental illness and it's been extremely disheartening to me to see how many have had to step back or leave the fandom altogether over the years because they just couldn't deal with seeing a character they see themselves in be torn apart constantly only for people to act like it's not even happening. The truth is that there is a lot of ableism wrapped up in how TK is often talked about in this fandom and honestly that's why I wasn't surprised at how Iris had been treated because if people can act like this towards a main character, what hope could a side character like Iris have? After all, there are people who seriously think that TK should just be able to make his mental health issues go away so that Carlos would never have to worry. And what these people conveniently don't think about is that Carlos loves TK as he is and would never want him to dismiss his struggles.

Again, I know that this isn't the majority and I know that most people do care but I also feel like this is something that doesn't get talked about as much as it should because real people have been and continue to be hurt by it

#911 on fox #911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos

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kithj · 3 months

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blood4blood was a little under two weeks of work; i really want to try and push myself to make shorter text games with strict deadlines, as opposed to my longer, more elaborate games. i was inspired to make this mainly when i saw strawberry jam, and i decided to make something that i could also submit to queer vampire jam. i set out to showcase two polar opposites of the lesbian sex experience, with a stone main character, and the added complexity of vampirism. not all-encompassing by any means, but i enjoy writing the kind of sex that i personally feel doesn't get represented properly (if at all) in more mainstream media.

i'm going to talk a bit about both blood4blood and bleeding heart under the cut

if you've read any of my other more recent work then at this point it's very obvious i love lesbian vampires. "reclaiming" feels too strong of a word, but i do like using this typically negative archetype of the lesbian vampire and giving a more nuanced depiction of it; the exploration of what society has deemed "monstrous." the fear of being predatory, the fear of hunger, desire, and sex, the potential for harm that every person carries. vampirism is very versatile as a metaphor.

i think of one of the scenes in stone butch blues, when Jess is first learning about butch/femme dynamics and sex, and Jacqueline tells her that she has the potential to make a woman feel both pleasure and pain, and knowing that, and knowing the difference, is what would make her a good lover.

i like depicting vampirism in this way. and i've ranted previously about why i dislike "ethical vampires" and this is why: because it's a metaphor!

in Bleeding Heart, Cecilia grievously harms her brother, potentially killing him, and can also kill Sawhill or Emina. yes, in the narrative she kills them, but it's not meant to be read so cut and dry.

i didn't want Sawhill (or even her brother) to be these Evil figures oppressing Cecilia, i wanted her killing Sawhill to feel kind of bad; he was misguided, but he was doing what he thought was right, and he did really love Cecilia. but it doesn't matter, because Cecilia can't love him in the way that he wants, and her telling him that, and being true to her nature, is what kills him. as someone who is still one foot in the closet myself, there's this looming threat over coming out. it can destroy relationships: with family, friends, coworkers. people will look at you differently, people may hate you, cut you off, disown you. while we live in a more accepting society now, this potential backlash and violence is still very real for a lot of people, and that's what i wanted to allude to. Sawhill is dead to Cecilia, both literally and metaphorically, because he cannot accept her.

and killing Sawhill causes a domino effect: Emina steps in to protect Cecilia, triggering the realization in her that she really is just like Cecilia. if Cecilia does not kill Sawhill, this doesn't happen, and Emina runs off, because she's not ready to face who she is in the way that Cecilia has done - Emina is trapped by Sawhill's expectations of her as his servant. Cecilia can even go so far as to kill Emina in her anger, by essentially trying to force her "out of the closet." all the while Darcy is there watching, ever present, this aspect of Cecilia that she can no longer repress.

in blood4blood, when writing Noor's route, i wanted both the player character and Noor to hold some kind of power. both can make the other feel good - both can make the other hurt. but in the end, they both lay everything out on the table, and choose to trust each other.

with Ramone, her and the pc are both butch, they are both vampires, they both feel like they have this inherent predatoriness to their desires and attraction. they've isolated themselves. but together they talk openly about what they like and don't like, and find pleasure in a way they both enjoy.

of course i could write these stories without including vampires, but i like the severity that it brings to the narrative. maybe it's dramatic, but i think it really emphasizes how dark and difficult these feelings can be for some people; it's not so easy to shrug off and ignore, it really does feel like you're cursed, that there's something wrong with you. and i like taking that and saying yes, there is something wrong with me; it will always be this way so long as society remains rigid and oppressive as it is. you know?

anyways. i love lesbian vampires 🖤

#i've been wanting to talk abt bleeding heart for a while hehe #i have so many thots abt lesbianism and vampirism and just monsters and queer identity in general #i hope my work acheives even a little of what im aiming for #my writing

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corvidaequeer · 2 years

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A lot of people have already talked about how Hunter's abuse & toxic relationships (from Belos, the Emperor's Coven & those who live in the castle) are going to negatively affect how he thinks other people will treat him. Like assuming quick movements or surprises are attacks. Or assuming people will not like or want him if he isn't "useful".

But nobody's seems to be talking about the other side of that coin & I think that's an equally important discussion.

About how all that abuse is going to negatively affect how he treats other people. Because you can't have one without the other. Especially since every single relationship in his life thus far has had varying levels of toxicity. Especially because he has no other point of reference to be aware that how the people in his life treat one another is extremely unhealthy.

Its going to be a very lengthy process for him to learn what healthy relationships look like & deprograming those toxic behaviors of how you should/shouldn't treat others. Just like Lilith will have to do with her god complex with King & approval complex with authority figures. During that time, there's going to be a lot of moments where-

he thinks he's a superior & demands respect & blind obedience from people. Where he'll get angry or upset when people don't comply to his authority.

he thinks he knows better & goes behind people's back to "help them" even though they didn't ask him to or they explicitly told him they didn't want that. Taking away their choice/autonomy.

he gets upset at someone telling him what to do or what not to do.

he lashes out about being left out of important conversations or being told to sit certain situations out. Because, just like Luz did in "O Titan Where Art Thou", he thinks adults protecting him from situations that no kid should have have to deal with means they think he's weak & not good enough.

he will sabotage his friends & siblings to get ahead, look better or superior, or make others look bad in comparison.

he'll steal opportunities from others for those same reasons ⤴️

he hurts someone's feelings & upon confrontation of that he flies into a panic, lashes out, & tries to defend his actions. Wherehe puts the blame on their reaction & not his action.

someone tells him did something wrong & he goes straight to fight or flight & does more harm because he fears punishment & rejection.

he'll get angry, jealous, &/or hurt when someone gets more attention or praise than he did & he proceeds to try & sabotage the that person or ⤵️

he does dangerous things to earn favor or forgiveness with a complete disregard his own safety.

he expects other people to do ⤴️- & going to other great lengths prove their worth, whether its to him or other authority figures.

He will be arrogant & paranoid-

He will be cruel & hurtful-

He will be rash & inconsiderate-

He will be a big frustration & a lot of work for the people in his life-

& eventually he himself will need to do a lot of work as he tries to do better & be kinder at all of these things. I say eventually because there's way too much to address all at once & a lot of thing he won't be ready to address for a very long time.

But despite the massive amount of growth he needs- despite all the hurt & stress he'll likely cause- Hunter is not "bad person". He is an abused child- with a lot of baggage- & a lot to learn.

ignore me projecting my thoughts through over analyzing cartoon characters

#just me over analyzing toh characters again & dumping my feelings about quote on quote troublesome foster/adobted kids #& how people treat foster/adopted kids like they are bad people #& aren't worth the trouble #just because they have a lot of baggage that makes them act out #toh #the owl house #the golden guard #toh hunter #toh caleb #hunter belos #hunter wittebane #hunter clawthorne

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gillianthecat · 1 year

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I appreciate everyone's good advice to just drop the damn thing, but for some reason I feel compelled to keep watching Candy Color Paradox, and then complain about it. It's feeling like my experience watching War of Y, although they are very different shows, in that I'm fascinated by it's successes and failures. And I now want to find out what the show ends up saying (either intentionally or not) about the morality of paparazzi journalism. I did notice that two minutes after I paused to write my last post Kaburagi was questioning the ethics of what they did and how it impacted their subject, so I have some hope that the show is at least trying to say something.

However to avoid polluting the tags with my negativity for people who are enjoying the show, I'll keep my criticism below readmores.

Before I get into that, are the editors at the magazine trying to match-make Kaburagi and Onoe? 🤔Because they keep singing the praises of each of them to the other one. 👀

I think the biggest problem for me is that I just don't think the actors are very good. According to MDL they're both idols and don't have much previous acting experience, and I can tell. They're both trying their best, but there is this awkward amateurism to their acting that is distracting me and makes the characters feel less real. I'm just now watching the scene with Congressman's secretary, and it's clear just how much more comfortable this older actor is on screen (at least before he sexually assaults Onoe). He moves and talks and inhabits his body in this unselfconscious way that is engaging to watch. And in the scene when Onoe is talking to his bartender friend, Masayan, my eyes kept being drawn to the bartender, even though all he was doing was listening and nodding. But he just seemed so much present and real.

I bring these two other (much more experienced) actors up because it affirmed for me that it wasn't just my imagination. Both young actors have this tentativeness to their physicality, which really doesn't work for the supposedly cool and dominating Kaburagi, but neither does it feel like it matches the awkwardness that Onoe has. It feels like the actor's own awkwardness, rather than the character's, somehow. It doesn't help matters that they both seem made-up and styled like idols rather than journalists. They just both look so young.

They're not terrible, they both have some nice moments, and Onoe's face especially is growing on me. I think he's the stronger actor, actually, he has this wonderful wide-eyed way of looking at Kaburagi that temporarly creates the illusion that these two have chemistry. The roles I suspect are actually deceptively hard to do well, balancing complex emotions with slapstick comedy. I'm not an actor, but I imagine that's something that requires a lot of experience to pull off well. But it does mean that the chemistry isn't really there, that Kaburagi's philosophical musings feel shallow instead of like insights into a moral crisis, and that Onoe's panic about falling in love doesn't ring true for me.

And oh my god that final sex scene in the car, there was no connection there, it felt like they were each in their own world, not like they were reacting to each other. Which I get, it probably feels much safer for the actors to approach it that way. But it's so obvious on screen. At least a JBL is willing to portray sexuality on screen, I guess? Next step is helping inexperienced actors get comfortable with it. (Eternal Yesterday and Utsukushii Kare were on a different level all together, production and direction wise, and the actors in Old Fashion Cupcake are such pros that they probably could have managed it on their own, though I imagine they had support. And thus concludes the list of JBL I've seen that have attempted more than dead fish kisses.)

The other problem is a mismatch of my expectations and what the show actually is. I keep wanting it to be more serious; it touches upon these complex issues—the sexual assault, ethics in journalism, Kaburagi's feelings about trading sexual favors for information—and then glancing right off of them. Whereas I keep hoping for them to dig in. But it seems very devoted to it's yaoi roots, particularly with a sexually aggressive seme and a blushing maiden uke, and not interested in going much deeper.

And since this is my space to vent, I just watched another show where a completely untrained person was miles better at tailing people and taking covert photos than than these two are. The shows are completely different in tone and budget, so perhaps it's not fair to compare, but it did make me laugh. (I don't want to spoil that show, though it's barely a spoiler, but it's this one for anyone curious.)

#candy color paradox #ameiro paradox #ameiro ep 3 #some kvetching below the cut #critical #gillianthecat reacts to bl #bl actors #japanese bl #sexuality in bl #thoughts on consent and boundary violations in bl

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cacaitos · 4 months

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2023 manga list:

most of the manga i read this year. more or less around 90, but that's also counting short stories, and things i omitted.

bottom text.

beastars/beast complex [3/5] beastars as an action shonen (or a story anyway) is all over the place so don't get your hopes up to much on that front. beastars' main consistent strong point is being Horny and Weird. i've said that sometimes it doesnt compromise with the logical terms of its premise but exploring a variety of odd relationships is imo the most interesting and engaging element of it anyway.

chainsaw man [4/5] overall is a mostly normal shonen if you were expecting for something more alternative. to be honest a lot how you would feel about Pt 1 will be told by how you feel about having very consecutive character deaths, it can feel a bit rushed. but it is indeed a bit distinctive abt how it tackles the topic of intimacy/relationships esp predatory ones in jump-type shonen. can't complain too much on that front. fire punch [3/5] once the berserk-type edgyness aside on the story is aptly entertaining, tho by some stretches it can be disorienting plotwise, in a negative way. it drops Lots of plot points or rushes them... you can really grow to like some characters but there will be a point -you will know- that it just kinda disengages w you. Curious existential ending. good if you're bored.

golden kamuy [3.5/5] also more typical shonen-esque than i expected. it never gets That Much Dark imo, as in total slow downers i mean. although obviously it is 'dark' more on the bizzare part. fun characters.

kaze to ki no uta [4/5] to be honest it does live up to the reputation of making you generally emotionally Unwell. but on my experience the development of gilbert and serge grew more engaging than I expected. tragic banger. terra e... [3/5] also was more than i expected since the one time i tried with the anime i got bored 1 ep in. but the story and tomy as the mc also gave me more heartfelt emotions than I expected. the pacing and amount info conveyed can get exhausting tho. didn't care much abt the ending. natsu e no tobira [2/5] the ova is gorgeous so it has those points on its favour. otherwise the ova and the manga are almost identical. youth and death themes and all i did Nawt care abt that pedo woman. weird story to develop that shoujo theme abt allowing ppl to see your vulnerability but eh i'll take it.

YAMAMOTO: ichi the killer [3.5/5] frenetic and entertaining enough if you're willing to go through knowing the tw's. suprisingly fast to read. if you're looking for the yamamoto Experience, it's a must after hommunculus. voyeur/voyeurs inc [2/5] got awfully disappointed w voyeurs-inc; i got hooked on voyeur (ie the prototype) but the change of cast on inc was a total letdown. don't think it's worth reading of you're a ymmt casual. maybe just the prototype. okama report [0/5] don't even fucking bother. barely passable even for anybody that's very into ymmt. adam & eve [2/5] shit story, curious fights/interactions.

KATSUHIRO OTOMO akira [3/5] a lot of the military and persecution sequences get so annoying and boring sometimes but if you forget abt the adaptations it's a decent enough scifi-action thing. the movie is better at that. the relationship between kaneda and tetsuo- dont like rn to pit which of the two did it better, but from the movie to the manga it's deff not a letdown, especially for tetsuo that has a lot more time. he's interesting. domu [2.5/5] interesting action wise, but as for story I wouldn't bother. kanojo no omoide (memories of her) [3/5] ootomo himself said some of the stories are quite meaningless and nonsensical lol but if you've seen the Magnetic Rose ova you will like some of them. world apartment horror [3/5] 1st didn't care about. liked 2nd. 3rd i didn't get shit. 4th it was cute. visitors [3/5] liked it. short piece/short peace [3/5] i liked it. highway star [3/5] feels like that suicide episode of paranoia agent, that kind of humor lol. boogie wogie waltz [1/5] uncomprehensible. good weather [1/5] eh.

houseki no kuni [4/5] it isn't getting better, the tragedy doesn't stop it's not an understatement. whoa.

dorohedoro [3/5] entertaining seinen, tho sometimes it gets kinda confusing and convoluted. love the characters theyre fun :)

ajin [4/5]

i was surprised that it was a closed off story from what i expected coming from the anime haha. neat action panelling and art. I get the feel that some characters had more to give and develop, but not disappointing.

OSHIMI SHUZO flowers of evil [3/5] the romantic triangle didnt bother me as much as i expected. it is a weird manga know that up front. i'm inside mari [4/5] i quite liked it and was quite surprised abt that fact lol. blood on the tracks [4/5] good family drama at leaston my year'sranking; shuzo's art style does wonders and is v immersive. some said that it felt repetitive and while i can say at some point the went a bit ehhhh, but reading it all back to back instead of weekly i don't feel it's that draggy. backwards i think it could've used more chapters, or content rather. happiness [2.5/5] tbh got disappointed, kinda disperse. like half 1 and 2 don't have much to do... okaeri alice [2.5/5] some individual characters really do make the manga endurable but some bits from the main characters are so...? unnecessary, or unnecessarily long at least. not really shuzo's best work. avant-garde yumeko [-/5] odd.

NAGABE totsukuni no shoujo [4.5/5] i mean, for most of it that i can describe it well with heartwarming but bittersweet, about parent-child relationships, love, loneliness, sacrifice, it's pretty good at that. then It Gets You. monotone blue [4/5] refreshing bl, sweet, the art delivers and the sensitivity. and i say refreshing bl bc it's not weird abt sa or adjacent harrassment.

i read most of his shoujo works, but they're too many to mention if you liked totsukuni you will like them, nothing to lose. some uh moral objections on some..EAT [-/5] it's okay. if you don't mind horny furries. SMELL [-/5] errr..... ok.

RYO SUMIYOSHI/SUZURI MADK [2.5/5] good art as always. more fucked up background things as it goes on but the mako-J thing is kinda crayzay. it has some hasty character developments at important times... torso no bokura [2/5] also good art, nothing too upsetting if at least relative to MADK. kinda enjoyable and entertaining anthology.

NEMUI ASADA sleeping dead [3/5] imo asada's overall best work, or at least to beginners or if you plan to read just one of hers. since the translation of the work is not finished i don't wanna assume the ending, but the starting premise is interesting enough, although we're currently on a less eventful note plotwise which can feel a bit disappointing for the moment. my little inferno [1.5/5] not particularly interesting conceptually, or writing. madara moyou no yoi [1.5/5] noticeable premise for an asada work, it being more action oriented i mean, but it's still to early to say in execution. SKIN [1/5] what the hell. that's asada for everybody/ dear, my god [1/5] odd ending. didn't coincide with how the story was handling at least the preist, imo. i literally don't care about the cactus story. CALL [2/5] surprisingly not so harsh of an asada story. more of a normal kind of depressing bl. ai, sei [1/5] don't mind in any particular direction. loved circle [1/5] did not care for the setting. not as dark as you would expect but not particularly interesting either. whatever ending. to the sea [1/5] ...? that happened i guess.

hikaru ga shinda natsu [3.5/5] it's a manga that has earned a reputation and a set of expectations that (i haven't caught up w latest ch) that delivers on the visual and effective ambientation, but we're to see on the story but good so far.

double (noda ayako) [4/5] veeery expressive art from noda. if you let it be as a normal acting manga it can get you by surprise on some emotional beats. better go in with low expectations, different tastes and all.

my broken mariko [3.5/5] it's a short story, solid. gorg art that adds to the sorrow and bittersweetness.

gunjou [3.5/5] hmmm it can feel a bit repetitive the back and forth at several points of the story, depends of how you read that related to unstable relationships. i don't necessarily want to brand it mainly as a GL but all in all its still one of the most interesting entries on it, with a toxic relationship that commits to the complexity of the situation.

gunjou gakusho [2.5/5] a melancholic anthology with beautiful art. i got to like a pair of the stories.

omoide emanon/sasurai emanon [3/5] personally i preferred omoide emanon (the one the mangaka said was Twitter for people unfamiliar w emanon) and i prefer the lineal story tbh. sasurai ones can be hit or miss, some feel incomplete? or unconcluded. i mean sasurai was cancelled midway so.

bibliomania [2/5] cool art, intriguing initial premise and execution, but i didn't find it particularly interesting by the end part, like thematically.

banana bread no pudding [2/5] didn't care for the main relationship itself, but the protagonist ended up being more engaging than i expected. a mostly soft and bittersweet read, but i would wait ot read more of the author's works to say how recommendable i would rank it as.

petshop of horrors [2.5/5] the individual stories can be hit ot miss from one person to another but imo D is very consistently entertaining and likeable lol.

higashi nishida [2.5/5] not much consistency but they have a nice undertsated feeling personally :). some of its introspection catches you off guard. no high expectations though.

kodomo wa wakette agenai [3/5] it's a nice short story, it's funny if you don't come in expecting loud knee-slappers types of jokes. it's good if you're looking for something light to read.

she loves to cook, she loves to eat [3/5] also good if you're looking for something light to read.

tamen de gushi [3/5] wholesome as you would expect. nice art on later years. depends on your taste.

my solo exchange diary [4/5] actually liked and grew to appreciate the author's organized narration style. it avoids a lot of confusion and she verbalizes her feelings in a relatable way for somethings sometimes so awkward to say out loud.

seibetsu x [2.5/5] this one is much less organized temporally and thematically so it can get a bit confusing, but it's funny on it's own, since the author is very blunt on their feelings lol.

killing stalking [3/5] less Evil than i remembered, just as disturbing, just as mid ending as i remembered. maybe it's bc of being a reread -that helps pick some things better- but reading it out of the heat of the moment in its era it's not as ill intended or deliberately romanticizing as one might have led to believe; it understands that much at least. visually however, still often leans into more eroticism i call inappropiate and unncessary.

boy's abyss [2.5/5] it's a manga that drags and wanders aimlessly too much, it gets repetitive. there are some plots and elements i consider more consistent and interesting, like the family, predatory relationships and the town's seeming unescapability themes, but the suicidal thing gets a bit exasperating when it just goes nowhere. dont expect tooo much. kinda good to binge tho.

himegoto, juukyuusai no seifuku [2.5/5] if you see the premise i know it sounds kinda weird but as i said when i read it my only comment abt is that it's suprisingly more compelling than one would expect, if you dont question much the individual prompts. gets kinda heavy by the end w on character tho.

yuureitou [2.5/5] sometimes entertaining on an adventure mystery type thing. theme and writing quality varying for the first 2/3s, off it's shits by the third that's kinda ehh conceptually. read it for some crazy shit ending. trans-wise, on the mc side, well they're some consistently annoying things all throughout but technically good intentioned but the ending 1/3 is v transmisogynistic, heads up.

uzumaki [2/5] ito's art is good. didnt really get me going much but not hated reading it. didnt get the ending, or didnt like it a lot at least.

fetish, kaoru fujiwara [2.5/5] takes a turn in seriousness by the 2nd story. 3rd story is so 😖 err, and then the rest go down in tone again.

the view beyond, kaoru fujiwara [2.5/5] one of those wouldn't that be fucked up stories. like that sure happened. not precisecly im even a fan of the message of the premise, even if it's technically showing it's horrible results.

raise wa tanin ga ii [3.5/5] t'was funny. all in all, esp towards the last chapters their interactions turn more earnest, personally, than i expected.

crying freeman [2/5] major saving grace is the art, it's pretty good. dunno, it feels however you feel about edgy 007-type 80s stories. personally didnt care abt mafia-clan thing substainance plots.

devilman lady [2/3] lot's of SA till it gets a bit unbearable and boring, heads up. did not care about most of the plot itself but if you liked the og devilman characters, the mains of Lady have the same likeability. save from The Horrors of the end. -shin devilman [1/5] boring. don't lose nothing over not reading it. uh. that first chaper uh.... -amon - devilman mokushiroku [1.5/5] edgy in the usual way dvm is edgy in that usual measure,s o the story is nothing to die for lol. good art (save for Things) and cool visuals, body horror, etc more than anything. the silene storyline is the more interesting part, the other idgaf about. -neo devilman [2/5] it's an anthology. seeing different artist's takes is entertaining enough. usual dvm edgyness. -devilman saga [0/5] boring dear god. not one saving grace of entertainment even for a nagai dvm work.

tetsuo the bullet man [1.5/5] shot for shot as the third tetsuo movie. i liked the manga and its ending more than the movie's tho. not like the movie is good anyway.

dog ningen [1/5] don't let the premise scare you, it's pretty mild. and amateur. and boring.

#txt #fave #<- to find later #first organized by author batch and then vaguely by genre/vibes

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