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#tbh i bet rr has actually already been here incognito for years#I've felt sometimes like he's known too much before#ryan reynolds#spn#nov 5th#Deadpool#fwiw I had made this maybe an hour before Lydia Carter also joined#Obviously it should be a given that she can should also stay#This post does not apply to celebrities who have been long established here such as Neil Gaiman and Wil Wheaton
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On a whim and because I was momentarily taken by a new fandom I had made a requests accepted fic where I took in requests. From a few requests I wrote I got two requests from the same person and wrote them but they were so annoying because all the response I got was "I want this to be longer"
That was something that added to me eventually not being as into the fandom anymore and so I haven't written the other requests for a long while.
It's part many things and is also because the fandom is very very new so the characters' personalities aren't that known yet so I'm not quite sure how to characterize them in my writing. So I feel a bit guilty about not writing the other requests and regret completing the request of the disrespectful person first, I didn't know they'd be like that until they commented that reaction to what I wrote.
Sorry for the ramble but TLDR how does a writer handle feelings of guilt from not completing requests quickly? Like I think it's been months now.
... and it's been even more months since you dropped this ask in my inbox, sorry!
To start with, I'm just going to flag for folks that you should not post "I'm taking requests" works on AO3. It's against the Terms of Service, so if it gets reported, the PAC team will ask you to remove it. You don't say here where you posted yours, but I just wanted to give everyone a heads up on that count.
I'm really sorry that your experience with writing for requests went kind of sour on you. That's never a fun time. I can see how it would sour you on the practice, especially in conjunction with the fandom being new and the characters still not very fleshed out.
When it comes to disappointing people, you kind of have to pick your battles. Human beings these days encounter thousands of people in any given week, thanks to the internet, and we can't hold ourselves to the same standards of caring for a person we've interacted with one via a screen and the people we've built up relationships with.
That isn't to say it's alright to be a dick to people. Wil Wheaton has been very clear about that. It's just that carrying guilt over something you haven't done for a stranger is very different from carrying guilt over something you haven't done for your partner or your best friend.
In my experience, the best way to move forward is just to reply to the message that gave you the request and say, "I'm sorry, I don't think I can work on this right now. Please feel free to share it with another author." You can add in that you hope they find someone. You can change the "right now" to "after all". You can make the message as long or as short as you want, but just include those 2 ideas:
I'm not going to fulfill this request
if you're still wanting to read this thing, ask someone else to write it (or write it yourself)
The guilt is because you know that someone wanted a story and they haven't received it. What you don't know is whether they still want that story, whether they specifically want it from you and only you, and to what degree they were invested in the idea versus just throwing something out there on a whim.
If you do still want to write the stories, remember that fandom is a hobby not a job. Fic requests aren't assignments. You don't have any due dates. Inspiration comes and goes as it pleases, and sometimes we bite off more than we can chew.
Be kind to yourself, anon. Write the stories that interest you. Give away the ones that don't. Allow yourself the time you need to finish what you want to do. 💗
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Three pieces, one longer than the others, that I have never done in public before. I hoped they would all fit together to tell a story, and I was scared to death the the story they told wouldn't resonate with the audience.
But I needed to trust myself, trust Anne and my friend who told me it absolutely was going to work, and take what felt like a very big risk.
So I did, and I think it landed the way I hoped it would. The audience was receptive, which was not always the case at cons for me but has increasingly become the norm this century. Lots and lots of people told me they also know the secret handshake, and it helped them, as it does me, feel a little better.
I use my phone to record all of my talks and readings, and then I put them with all my glasses and my shoes, so I have them.
At the beginning, you're going to hear, faintly, my space brother, Ed Speleers, introducing me. You can't hear the smile on my face, or the overwhelming joy and gratitude in my heart, but it was there. I had no idea he was going to introduce me, and he was just so kind and lovely.
Then you're going to hear me read something I titled I Turned Myself To Face Me, which I hope will be part of a larger work later this year.
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I feel so validated reading some of these answers because they align so well with my own thoughts. And I need to talk about this!
In particular, knowing that Brent had an abusive upbringing is 1) heartbreaking but also 2) gives us something in common. Having a choice, id wish neither of us had such a tragic thing shared, but at least I'm in good company (shoutout to Wil Wheaton for being so forthright in that struggle as well).
I'd always suspected he pulled a little from that when shooting "Brothers." Playing Lore and showing the adult anger towards his old man but the boy who just wanted to be loved. Maybe because I dealt with those feelings myself is how I picked up on it? Idk. But I always wondered about that.
And his analysis of Noonien is SO SPOT ON for how I see him like damn, Brent. I fucking love you.
"And I think all the way up to Noonien Soong, really, they’re all his projects. They’re like any narcissist. They can love [their children] to a certain degree, but it’s really how it reflects on them. How it makes them look.
Noonien created Data, and after his failures with Lore and B4, his success with Data is particularly satisfying because it’s his achievement that’s satisfying. What he’s done, and not so much what Data does."
#brent spiner#brent spiner interview#soong family dynamics are trash#dammit noonien#noonien soong#narcissist#star trek the next generation#star trek tng#star trek
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Audio Drama Recommendations, Pt. II
For part one, click here. I went on another audio drama binge and I found some that were pretty fun to listen to. I usually tend to go after the ones that are completed because the longer the wait, the more likely I will forget the details, but this time I just went for anything that caught my attention. This also isn’t in any particular order.
The Magnus Archives – is a horror fiction anthology podcast written by Jonathan Sims, directed by Alexander J. Newall, and distributed by Rusty Quill.
The new Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, Jonathan Sims, attempts to bring a seemingly neglected collection of people’s testimonials of their encounters with the supernatural up to date, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his small but dedicated team. [COMPLETED]
It has five seasons, each 40 episodes long, as well as additional content such as Q&As, non-canon fan-submitted statements and one-off episodes that tie in with Rusty Quill's other podcasts.
It does start out slow and maybe at some point you’ll be wondering where is this going and what does some of these episodes have to do with the overall story, but it does all eventually connect. Your patience will pay off because once the build-up is done it picks up and things get really interesting!
Unwell – is a horror podcast starring Clarisa Cherie Rios and produced by Hartlife NFP.
The story follows Lillian Harper who has returned home to Mt. Absalom, Ohio to care for her estranged mother Dorothy after an injury. Living in the town's boarding house which has been run by her family for generations, she discovers conspiracies, ghosts, and a new family in the house's strange assortment of residents. [ONGOING]
This audio drama has five seasons which runs for 12 episodes. It currently has 54 episodes in total and each one is about 20-30 minutes long. New episodes are released fortnightly (biweekly) on Wednesdays. They take a mid-season break between episodes 6 and 7.
Bridgewater – is a supernatural thriller audio drama produced by Grim & Mild and by iHeartRadio, created by Aaron Mahnke and written/directed by Lauren Shippen.
Folklore professor Jeremy Bradshaw is pulled into the mysterious 1980 disappearance of his police officer father, Thomas, by new evidence that threatens to upend decades of certainty. Along the way, he’s helped by some unlikely partners who challenge everything he believes in, and ultimately tries to answer the question: can the past actually be rewritten?
Together with his father’s former partner, retired Detective Anne Becker, Jeremy must chase the clues that will tell him whether his father really did fall victim to a Satanic cult in the Bridgewater Triangle—or something much more dark and unexplainable. [ONGOING]
It has two seasons, the first consist of 10 episodes and the second has 12 episodes. Each one runs about 20-30 minutes long. Season three was put on hold when there was news of a possible television series. However, that fell through and by then everyone was working on other projects. So a season three, well, that’s pretty much up in the air.
It stars Misha Collins (Supernatural), Melissa Ponzio (Teen Wolf), Nathan Fillion (Firefly, The Rookie), Karan Soni (Deadpool), Kristin Bauer (True Blood), Hilarie Burton Morgan (The Walking Dead, One Tree Hill), Wil Wheaton (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Jonathan Joss (The Magnificent Seven, Parks and Rec) and Lori Alan (Spongebob Squarepants, Family Guy).
The Lovecraft Investigations -- is a mystery thriller/horror fiction podcast written and directed by Julian Simpson, based on several works of H.P. Lovecraft. It’s produced by Sweet Talk Productions for BBC Radio 4. It concluded with three seasons and each episode is about 25-30 minutes long. There might be a fourth season in the works, but even if there isn’t the series is considered to be finished.
The first season starts off with an investigation into the disappearance of a young man, Charles Dexter Ward from a locked room in an asylum. [COMPLETED]
It stars Barnaby Kay (Shakespeare in Love), Jana Carpenter (Doctor Who), Nicola Walker (MI-5, Unforgotten), Mark Bazeley (The Queen, The Bourne Ultimatum), Phoebe Fox (Eye in the Sky, The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death), Steven Mackintosh (Rang De Basanti, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels), Samuel Barnett (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Penny Dreadful), Alun Armstrong (Sleepy Hollow, The Mummy Returns), Adam Godley (The Great, The Umbrella Academy), and so on.
Midnight Burger – is a monthly sci-fi audio drama about a diner at the end – and somehow the beginning – of the universe.
When Gloria took a waitressing job at Midnight Burger outside of Phoenix, she didn’t realize she was now an employee of a time-traveling, dimension-spanning diner. Every day Midnight Burger appears somewhere new in the cosmos along with its staff: a galactic drifter, a rogue theoretical physicist, a sentient old-timey radio, and some guy named Caspar.
No one knows who built Midnight Burger or how it works, but when it appears there's always someone around who could really use a cup of coffee. Come by any time, we open at six. [ONGOING]
The audio drama currently has three seasons and each episodes averages about 30 minutes to an hour or so.
Rex Rivetter: Private Eye – is a 1950s-style noir detective audio drama written by Greg McAfee, directed by Rhiannon McAfee, and produced in San Diego, CA by Downstairs Entertainment with editing and sound design by Steve Murdock. The Rex Rivetter theme “Nightmare” by the Artie Shaw Orchestra is used with permission of Music Sales Corp.
The year is 1955. Tinsel town. The land of make-believe. It's a time of growth in American prosperity. Especially in Los Angeles. Here, dreams are bought and sold.
But there's a seedier side to the City of Angels, the shadows where pimps and narcotics pushers live, where organized crime stands just around every corner with one hand out, and the other wrapped around a roscoe. It's a city full of fancy dames and slick cons, where bookies know the vig, so you better, too.
Some folks call it noir or pulp fiction. But for a private eye named Rex Rivetter, it's home. [ONGOING]
It has four seasons and each one runs about 20-30 minutes long. Due to the pandemic, it is still unknown if season five will ever come out and so far there hasn’t been any news about it either.
Mansfield Mysteries – is a satirical, cozy murder whodunit written by Amy Henson, directed by Nicholas Hoyt and produced by The QuaranTeam.
It follows the inquisitive, martini-loving socialite Dorinda Mansfield and is set in quiet, affluent Berkshire Bay. So far it only has one season, which contains nine hilarious episodes, each three-chapter story finds Dorinda wrapped up in a new murder. With the help of her devoted daughter, Stacey—as well as the occasional frenemy—Dorinda digs for clues, navigates Berkshire Bay’s elite social circles, and sifts through years’ worth of grudges and motives. In this company town, no one can be trusted, and everyone has something to hide.
Whether at the Labor Day Extravaganza, the Halloween Tennis Club Open, or secret karaoke night, Dorinda sets out to find the real killer before they get away with murder… Just as soon as she orders her martini! [COMPLETED]
If you’re looking for a bite-sized audio drama, this might be for you. It has three seasons (or chapters) and each one only takes three episodes to complete its tales, which is fun, amusing and will keep you entertained while you’re working on something or resting your eyes.
The Call of the Void – is an indie science fiction mystery audio drama created and written by Josie Eli Herman and Michael Alan Herman. It’s produced by Acorn Arts & Entertainment. It contains three seasons of 28 episodes and each one is about 25-30 minutes long with a cast of about 35 actors.
In the bustling streets of New Orleans, a tour guide and a palm-reading outcast team up to unravel the mystery behind cases of sudden insanity besetting the city. [COMPLETED]
Wolf 359 – is a science fiction audio drama created by Gabriel Urbina and produced by Gabriel Urbina and Zach Valenti under Kinda Evil Genius Productions. It consists of four seasons with 61 episodes in total and each one is about 25-40 minutes long.
It is set on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus space station orbiting the star Wolf 359 on a deep space survey mission. The dysfunctional crew deals with daily life-or-death emergencies, while searching for signs of alien life and discovering there might be more to their mission than they thought. [COMPLETED]
#audio#podcasts#audio drama#podcast#listen#audio dramas#the call of the void#wolf 359#mansfield mysteries#midnight burger#the lovecraft investigations#the magnus archives#bridgewater podcast#unwell#unwell podcast#rex rivetter: private eye
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I've been rewatching some TNG, as one does, and discovering all over again how much I love Wesley Crusher.
I was a smol child when TNG came out, and it was one of my after-school shows, along with MASH and Unsolved Mysteries [which explains a lot about me, when I think about it 🤔]. Anyway, I deeply loved Wesley Crusher when I was a kid. He was smart and awkward and earnest in a way that really spoke to me as a smart and awkward and earnest kid, and I was always happy to see him. I loved that even though the adult characters didn't always take him seriously, the narrative did. Wesley's problems and triumphs mattered I often felt my own didn't. Honestly, "Final Mission" and "The First Duty" are still some of my favorite episodes, in large part because of how much we get to see of Wesley. Also because of how heavily those episodes feature Wesley's and Picard's relationship, and I've got Complex Feelings about Distant and Stoic Father Figures.
Fast forward several years and I got access to the internet, and I learned that Wesley was apparently cringe and bad, and I felt weird about having liked him so much. This also extended to Star Trek, and I spent many years trying to be "cool" about liking Star Trek [a hilariously futile effort, and one that just made me embarrassed about liking things].
Fast forward a few more years, and I learned about how Wil Wheaton was treated by the higher-ups on Trek and abused during his childhood acting, and I felt even weirder about liking Wesley so much.
And now we're up to today, when I have Thrown Cringe In The Bin Where It Goes, and am happily wading through Star Trek again. And who do I see but Wesley Crusher, and I'm still just as happy to see him as I was when I was smol. It's like running into a friend you'd lost touch with, only to find out they're still as good and cool as you remember. He's still smart and earnest and awkward, and when I watch Wes-heavy episodes I do feel a bit bittersweet because of my knowledge of what was going on behind the scenes and how much better things should have been for Wil Wheaton. But I also connect just a bit more with the character as a result. I won't go into details, but my childhood wasn't great for a number of reasons, all of which were far outside my control. I watch Wesley and his travails and think of my own, and it's a way to give my past self a hug. Wesley's life got better, Wil Wheaton's life got better, and so did mine.
I know Wil Wheaton goes here, and if he sees this, uh. Hey? Your work really helped me not feel alone as a kid and continues to do so? So. Thanks.
#star trek#star trek tng#wesley crusher#am I having shrimp emotions?#i mean maybe#but where else would I go to have those?#this website is like 90% shrimp emotions
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Red Team Blues
A very novel novel, reviewed
tl;dr - it's a good book and if detective stories or thrillers are of interest to you, I would recommend checking it out.
Warning: possible minor spoilers below. If you want to go in blind, stop reading.
A mixture of a noir detective story and a cyber dystopian alternate reality nearly indistinguishable from our own, Red Team Blues is a roller coaster ride. The story follows our hero, Martin "Marty" Hench, a 67-year-old bachelor forensic accountant for hire on his last job before retirement. A prodigious sleuth at finding assets that some people would rather stay hidden, he has had a long and storied career stretching back to the beginnings of Silicon Valley. When Marty's old friend Danny Lazer calls in a favor to discreetly retrieve some stolen cryptographic keys that allow for control over Danny's revolutionary new blockchain system, Marty diligently works to find the keys. Fortunately, Marty is good at his job. He returns the keys and receives his payment for finding the assets: a cool 300 million dollars. Unfortunately, he also happens to find some dead bodies along with said assets. Consequently, he finds himself in a race against time to solve the mystery of what really happened and to clear his name before either the family of the dead or the people they double-crossed take him out.
The story is not just a gumshoe thriller taken on the road, but also a commentary about Silicon Valley, the impacts that technology has on our world and the people in it, and the differences between the haves and have-nots. It touches on the difficulties of playing defense (the blue team), the ease of playing the offense (the red team), and the benefits of playing to your strengths.
The characters are well written and feel like real, actualized people. They have their own lives, their own experiences, and their own voices. And Marty has to rely on them. He can't keep himself safe without the help of friends and strangers, and he does what he can to help keep them safe in return.
Ultimately, it's a masterfully written book (and well narrated by Wil Wheaton) that is hard to put down. I listened to the audiobook nearly non-stop. When it was done, I had to fight the urge from starting it back from the beginning. I'm truly excited that this is the beginning of a series, and especially one that has the interesting twist where it is, chronologically, the end of the story. As stated previously, Red Team Blues is a good book and if detective stories or thrillers are of interest to you, I would highly recommend checking it out.
You can get a copy of the ebook or audiobook directly from the author here. You can also buy the audiobook from libro.fm or get a physical copy from bookshop.org
#red team blues#Cory Doctorow#book review#beaches' speeches#noir detective#mystery novels#recommendations#book#book recommendations
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3, 11, 14 for the book asks?
3. What were your top five books of the year?
(gonna lump some series together)
"Darius the Great is not OK" and the sequel "Darius the Great Deserves Better" by Adib Hhorram - maybe it was just the vibe I needed at the time, but they were lovely coming of age books.
The Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb (reread) It's been actual YEARS since I read these and I still cite them as a favourite series. It was amazing how much I forgot. Still a good read. Even if I want to throttle the teenage protag at times!
The Martian by Andy Weir. I picked the audiobook up on a whim because it was available and I needed something to listen to. Best whim I've had this year! I don't know what I expected from the book, (I haven't seen the film) but it was a blast from start to finish. Again, the narration by Wil Wheaton didn't hurt!
Jade City by Fonda Lee. I've only had a chance to read the first of the trilogy, and it was setting up for some grand things. It's been a while since I looked around the fantasy genre for a good series to sink my teeth into and there's been so much published since I last went looking. Can't wait to get to the next two.
A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland. Fantasy queer romance. Does what it says on the tin. The right amount of trope and emotion and vibe. I've read a few fantasy romances this year and I was expecting something melodramatic and cliche but fun, and it delivered way above what I expected! I know the author is publishing again next year and I can't wait. I think it's pirates next time.
Honourable Mentions
Lessons in Chemisty - Bonny Garmus
The Goblin Emperor - Katherine Addison/Sarah Monette
11. What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?
The Odssey - Homer (I know QUITE A WHILE Huh?)
I listened to an audiobook narrated by George Blagden, this has been a book I've tried to read for a while as I am ofc very aware of the cultural impact, but I just couldn't get into reading it. Considering the Odyssey comes from Oral Tradition it is so much better when read to you. George Blagden's voice doesn't hurt either :P
14. What books do you want to finish before the year is over?
I'm rereading Jane Austen's Emma for the first time since I read it the first time, and I'm trying to go slowly and really enjoy the language, not zoom through for "OMG WHAT HAPPENS NEXT". I'm now getting to enjoy the slower chapters and all the bonus gossip and vibes.
I'm also in the middle of Victoria Goddard's Hands of the Emperor which has been a good read so far, protags who aren't -20 are rare and I love it.
Yes I ADHD read multiple books at once.
Folks, send more book asks!! - The List is Here
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I AM LOVING THIS...
The story is so good. The voice acting is phenomenal. I find myself getting irritated by the characters' actions, laughing with them or at them, sympathising with them.. its really fun.
Created by Aaron Mahnke who also does the Lore podcast. Which got 2 seasons on Amazon Prime
Written and directed by Lauren Shippen
Star cast: Misha Collins (Supernatural), Melissa Ponzio (Teen Wolf), Karan Soni (Deadpool), Nathan Fillion (Firefly, The Recruit), Hilarie Burton Morgan (One Tree Hill, White Collar), Wil Wheaton (Star Trek, Leverage, TBBT), Kristin Bauer (True Blood), Alan Tudyke (Firefly)... many others who i am not familiar with by they are brilliant im this...
#bridgewater#aaron mahnke#lore#amazon prime#spotify#nathan fillion#firefly#the recruit#misha collins#supernatural#melissa ponzio#teen wolf#kristin bauer#true blood#hilarie burton#one tree hill#white collar#wil wheaton#star trek#the big bang theory#leverage#alan tudyk#mine#not so random thoughts#I'm mildly obsessed with this show
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just finished journey’s end. i knew what wesley’s arc was before starting this show but now that i’ve seen it i think it’s pretty poorly executed. i’m not talking about wil wheaton leaving the show or anything i just mean the story itself. like. okay so at the beginning of this episode he says “maybe i’m tired of living up to everyone’s expectations!” which is very reasonable. he became an ensign before ever going to the academy, all of his life he’s been told that he can do great things, he’s smart and he’s special and if he studies hard and focuses he can excel. but when he’s on the enterprise this causes him to be responsible for saving the ship multiple times as a young teenager, and also, he died once. and his time at the academy clearly combined with this pressure which lead to the incident in the first duty. so him finally coming to the realization that he wants to forge a life of his own because the one thats been placed for him is ultimately not what he wants is great! but then like, a DAY later, he’s heading off with an alien because he was told that he can do great things, he’s smart and he’s special and if he studies hard and focuses he can excel. he’s literally just given himself a different set of expectations to live up to. sure, maybe there’s a freedom in this path and the opportunity of experiencing what most people both can’t and won’t is alluring, but this isn’t a happy ending. he just jumped from one thing to the other.
i want wesley to live a mediocre life. i want him to sleep in and have messy hair, and leave it messy. i want him to shuffle his way into the kitchen and get kissed on the cheek by someone he loves. i want him to spend his day working on some little project he has going on. nothing crazy, nothing that will save the enterprise or a planet, but just something he does for fun. i want there to be no noise outside his house. i want him to decide to go to bed early, just because he can. he had more experiences before going to the academy than most people, even in the world of star trek, could have in a lifetime. i don’t want him to strive for greatness and be the most special boy in all of time and space. i want him to take a nap.
#not to mention the fact that the incident in the first duty and what happened to sito jaxa arent even mentioned in the episode#like when he started talking about how he got depressed closer to graduation i was like yeah?? bc youre a social outcast whose friend died?#and now your other friend died in a similar way?#why dont either of those situations come into play here. how does that not effect his decision#and the way that after he has the vision hes like guys its ok :)#they act like hes cured now im like babygirl you are REBOUNDING#take a minute. have some you time#anyway. whatever#wesley#tng lb#sam's thots#tng
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Recommended Reading
Here is a list of books, both prose and graphic, that I think are worth checking out. All of these books are speculative fiction (science fiction, fantasy, alternate reality, et cetera), since that’s essentially the only genre I read. Entries followed by a ♥ are my extra-special favorites. The ones marked with an H won at least one Hugo Award. Those marked with a ▽ contain prominent LGBTQ+ characters or issues.
Lighter Science Fiction
Douglas Adams: The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy and its first two sequels, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and Life, the Universe and Everything. The Hitchhiker’s Guide is a landmark work in SF comedy and is a must-read. If you are an audio listener, then I suggest starting with the 1978 BBC radio play, which was the original version of this story. (If you like THHGTTG, then check out Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency and its sequel.) ♥
John Scalzi: Any of his SF, especially the Old Man's War series and the Interdependency series (The Collapsing Empire and its sequels). Scalzi’s work, with few exceptions, is not only very funny, but also includes some good science-fiction-y “big ideas.” If you are a fan of Star Trek, then his novel Redshirts, which won a Hugo, will be of particular interest. Interestingly in some of Scalzi’s recent work, such as Kaiju Preservation Society and the Lock In series, he never revels the gender of the main character. Almost all of Scalzi’s audiobooks are read by Wil Wheaton. Wheaton does a great job, but his voice does tend to make the listener imagine the main character as a man, even when there’s no textual evidence to support that imagining. ♥H
Martha Wells: The Murderbot Diaries (All Systems Red and sequels), winner of the 2021 Hugo Award for best series. Despite the name, this series of five novellas and one novel follows a human-bot hybrid (not a robot) security unit (SecUnit) as it struggles to protect its stupid humans while coping with social anxiety and finding time to watch soap operas. Plus, it doesn’t really murder all that often. The series is very funny, but it is also a surprisingly serious and insightful examination of sentience, autonomy, and living with neuroses. Wells, who identifies as neurodivergent, will write three more Muderbot books, beginning in November 2023, as part of her six-volume deal with Tor. I particularly enjoy Kevin R. Free’s narration of the audiobooks. I’m counting these books for LGBTQ+ representation because Murderbot is nonbinary and asexual, but since it isn’t human (and doesn’t want to be), nonbinary and/or ace readers (whom I assume to be human) may not find themselves reflected in Murderbot’s experience. ♥H▽
Scott Meyer: The Authorities series (The Authorities and Destructive Reasoning), Master of Formalities, and Grand Theft Astro. Meyer’s books are all hilarious, fun adventures. The Authorities books follow a privately funded taskforce created to investigate crimes that the police cannot solve. Megan Sloan is one of my favorite detectives in fiction. Master of Formalities follows a protocol expert in a far-future monarchy. My favorite gag in this book occurs when someone becomes his own uncle. Grand Theft Astro is a heist story with Meyer’s trademark humor. If you enjoy these books, check out his Magic 2.0 series, which is described in the Lighter Fantasy/SF Mashups section. Luke Daniels, who narrates all of Meyer’s audiobooks, does an excellent job with these stories. ♥
Ernest Cline: Ready Player One. This book is great fun, especially for those that remember the ‘80s or enjoy the popular culture of that era. The audiobook is narrated, very appropriately, by nerd icon Wil Wheaton.
Andy Weir: The Martian and Project Hail Mary. The Martian is the basis of the very faithful film adaption (which I also recommend), and it is super-realistic science fiction with a lot of jokes. Project Hail Mary feels much like The Martian (though far more speculative) at first, but a third of the way in, a major plot development shakes up the story for the better. ♥
Dennis E. Taylor: We are Legion (We are Bob) and sequels (the Bobiverse series). This series begins with the dark premise of the protagonist being uploaded into a von Neumann probe and launched into deep space, but it’s actually very funny. Ray Porter does a great job narrating the audiobooks.
More Serious Science Fiction
David Brin: Startide Rising and The Uplift War. In this universe, sentient species modify or “uplift” presentients to help them bridge the gap to sentence, after which the “client” species is indentured to its “patron” for 100,000 years. Humans, once discovered by the Five Galaxies civilization, only escape indenture because they have already uplifted chimpanzees and dolphins, making humans the lowest-ranking and most hated patron species in the known universe. These books have great worldbuilding and aliens that are very well developed in terms of both biology and culture. The other Uplift books are also good, but these two, which each won a Hugo, are my favorites. ♥H
David Brin: Glory Season. This novel is an amazing extrapolation of an agrarian society built on parthenogenesis. The main character is a rare “variant,” a person who wasn’t cloned but was instead conceived sexually via one of the tiny number of men on the planet. She and her twin must find roles in society without the benefit of membership in a clan of genetically identical women occupying an established niche. Plus, there are fun puzzles and Conway’s Game of Life. ♥
Vernor Venge: A Fire Upon the Deep and A Deepness in the Sky. In this universe, the laws of physics vary with the average density in the galactic “neighborhood.” Thus, while the Earth lies at a point where only sublight speeds and human-level intelligence are possible, farther out in the plane of the galaxy and especially off the plane, superluminal speeds and superhuman intelligence can be achieved. Also, on one planet in the “Slow Zone,” there is a race of wolf-like beings who are not individually sentient but who achieve sentience (via ultrasonic communication) in groups of four to six. These books have spectacular worldbuilding, well conceived aliens, and some very compelling science-fictional “big ideas.” Can be read in either order, but publishing order (as listed above) is likely best. Each novel won a Hugo. ♥H
Vernor Venge: Across Realtime. This volume is a compilation of the novels The Peace War and Marooned in Realtime as well as the novella The Ungoverned. These stories revolve around an interesting technology for altering how time passes.
James S. A. Corey: The Expanse series (Leviathan's Wake, eight sequel novels and several shorter works). Fairly hard science fiction based on a politically strained three-way balance of power in a solar system that is confronted with terrifying alien technology. This series is the basis for The Expanse TV/web series, which I also recommend. The Expanse won the 2020 Hugo for best series. ♥H
Ann Leckie: Ancillary Justice and sequels (The Imperial Radch series). A far-future story in which a sentient ship formerly controlling and inhabiting many human bodies is now confined to a single human body (and with its ship self destroyed). These books attracted a lot of attention because the Radchaai language only uses female pronouns, and thus the gender of many of the characters is never revealed, but there's a lot more to this story than that. Ancillary Justice won basically all the awards offered in 2013. Leckie’s novel Provenance and her upcoming Translation State take place in the same universe but follow new characters. ♥H▽
Arkady Martine: A Memory Called Empire and A Desolation Called Peace. A new ambassador (with the old ambassador’s memories shoved into her brain) is appointed to represent a “barbarian” space station to the “civilized” Teixcalaanli Empire, where she becomes embroiled in a succession crisis and meets people with names like Three Seagrass (my favorite character) and Eight Antidote. Eventually, she must also negotiate first contact with sentient aliens. These books are an interesting examination of imperialism and language. Both novels won the Hugo Award. H▽
Becky Chambers: The Wayfarers series (The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet and sequels). This anthology series explores different cultures and locations in a well developed galactic civilization. Wayfarers won the 2019 Hugo Award for best series. H▽
Lighter Fantasy/SF Mashups
Scott Meyer: Off to Be the Wizard and its sequels (the Magic 2.0 series). These books are science fiction disguised as fantasy. An amateur hacker discovers a computer file that can be edited to change the real world. Within 24 hours, everything goes wrong, and he flees from the FBI to medieval England, planning to set himself up as a wizard using his new capabilities. That plan doesn’t go well, either. These books are laugh-out-loud funny and may be of particular interest to computer scientists. The audiobooks’ narrator, Luke Daniels hilariously brings the text to life. ♥
More Serious Fantasy/SF Mashups
Tamsyn Muir: The Locked Tomb series (Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, Nona the Ninth, and Alecto the Ninth [not yet published]). Charles Stross described the first novel as “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” Honestly, I’m not sure whether to put this series under the “Lighter” or “More Serious” heading. There is a lot of humor, especially in the first book, but there is also quite a lot of horror and sadness. The second novel will absolutely gaslight you, forcing you to question your own sanity, but you’ll be glad you trusted Muir before you reach the end of the book. I can’t imagine anyone other than the excellent Moira Quirk narrating these books. ♥▽
John Scalzi: The God Engines. This novella, in which humans use enslaved gods (defeated enemies of their own god) to power their starships, is almost the only Scalzi work without a large dose of humor. It’s very good, though.
Anne McCaffrey: The first six Dragonriders of Pern books. (I've only read the first six.) These are science fiction disguised as fantasy and are classics in the genre. Far in the future, on an agrarian planet that has forgotten its history, humans ride sentient, telepathic dragons into battle against deadly spores that fall from the sky when another planet in an extremely eccentric orbit comes close.
Lighter Fantasy
Nicholas Eames: The Band series (Kings of the Wyld, Bloody Rose, and Outlaw Empire [not yet published]). Mercenary bands are the rock stars of the fantasy world in which these novels take place, attracting rabid fans and touring huge arenas. These books certainly have strong elements of humor, much of which is focused on the central conceit, but there is also a lot of action and pathos to be had. Both published books a great fun to read, and I’m looking forward to reading the third.
Tamsyn Muir: Princess Floralinda and the Forty Flight Tower. This novella subverts fairytale tropes and comments on gender roles while delivering an outsized dose of Muir’s trademark dry humor. Moira Quirk is hilarious as the audiobook narrator. I’m counting this book for LGBTQ+ because one of the characters doesn’t identify with any gender and because the story examines gender roles. ♥▽
Travis Baldree: Legends and Lattes. A female orc warrior retires from adventuring to open a coffee shop. "What's coffee?" everyone asks. This novel is well crafted, full of interesting characters, and very cute. My friend @novelconcepts aptly described it as “a beautiful warm hug of a book.” There's even a tiny touch of WLW romance, if you’re into that. Baldree is writing a prequel. ▽
More Serious Fantasy
Brandon Sanderson: All of the series and standalone books that are set in the Cosmere (rather than on some alternate Earth). Mistborn: The Final Empire is probably a good place to start. The Stormlight Archive (The Way of Kings and sequels) is my favorite series of Sanderson’s, but each of those books is >1300 pages or >45 hours in audio form, so it may not be the best place to start. Era 2 of the Mistborn series (set 300 years after the Era 1) is probably the most fun. Sanderson also has many books not set in the Cosmere that are more than worth reading. His method of taking a break from writing is to write on a different series, so, every year, he puts out ~400,000 words worth of material (3-4 normal novels or a single Stormlight book). If you listen to the audiobooks of the Stormlight Archive, I recommend getting the hardcopy as well, since the art included really helps bring the world of Roshar to life. ♥
Scott Lynch: The Lies of Locke Lamora and sequels (The Gentleman Bastard series). Great worldbuilding of an original fantasy world with dark humor. Lynch finally completed his first draft of Book 4 (of 7 planned) in May 2019 after a 4-year delay, so I’m hoping it will be available eventually. I’m starting to give up hope, though.
China Miéville: Perdido Street Station. Very rich worldbuilding. Very, very dark. Don’t read this book if you aren’t interested in depressing storylines. Miéville’s other work is just as inventive and, in his word, “weird” as this one.
N. K. Jemison: The Broken Earth trilogy (The Fifth Season and its sequels). These books have an intriguing premise, extensive worldbuilding, and an interesting writing style. These novels won the best-novel Hugo for three consecutive years, which no author had done before. H▽
Alternate Reality (Including Alternate History and Steampunk)
Elizabeth Bear: Karen Memory. This novel follows a lesbian prostitute as she teams up with a lawman in a steampunk version of a Seattle-like city in the Pacific Northwest. I also enjoyed Bear’s space opera series, White Space (Night and Machine). ▽
Cherie Priest: Boneshaker and its sequels (The Clockwork Century series). Steampunk + zombies = fun. This story begins with a plague of zombification erupting out of Seattle, and it finally provides a reason for Steampunks to wear goggles. ♥
Ian Tregillis: The Mechanical and its sequels (The Alchemy Wars series). Alchemy + steampunk robots + a little philosophy.
China Miéville: The City and the City. See the Detective Stories section of this document. ♥
Felix Gilman: The Half-Made World. Steampunk mixed with fantasy. Also, sentient, demon-possessed firearms.
Mary Robinette Kowal; The Lady Astronaut series (The Calculating Stars and sequels). This universe is an extremely hard-science-fiction alternate history in which a catastrophic event dramatically accelerates the space program. The Lady Astronaut of Mars, a short story, is chronologically last but was written first. There’s also a short story called “We Interrupt this Broadcast” that comes chronologically first but isn’t closely connected to the rest. Kowal’s second job is audiobook narrator—she narrates Seanan McGuire’s October Daye series, for example—and she narrates all these books herself. Interestingly, Kowal’s third job is puppeteer, so she’s pretty busy.
Scott Westerfeld: The Leviathan series, as described in the young-adult section of this list. ♥
Detective Stories in Speculative-Fictional Settings
Scott Meyer: The Authorities and Destructive Reasoning. See the Lighter Science Fiction section. ♥
John Scalzi: Lock In and its sequel, Head On. This series of detective stories takes place in a world where a disease has left millions of people “locked into” paralyzed bodies and forced to use remotely operated mecha to interact with the world. Scalzi never reveals the gender of the main character, leaving it up to the reader’s imagination.
John Scalzi: The Dispatcher series. As of a few years ago, if someone is intentionally killed, they stand a 99.9% chance of recovering with their body reset to a few hours earlier, which makes murder more difficult, but not impossible. Dispatchers are licensed to kill—I mean dispatch—people before they can die from injuries or illnesses, thus giving them a second chance. One such service provider gets caught up in illegal dispatches and a series of mysteries.
Brandon Sanderson: Snapshot. Two detectives are sent into a snapshot, a detailed simulation of an entire city and its millions of inhabitants on a specific day, to investigate a crime.
China Miéville: The City and the City. This book is amazingly thorough exploration of a ridiculous premise: two cities occupying the same space. This novel is probably my favorite of Miéville’s books. ♥
Richard K. Morgan: Altered Carbon. A murder mystery with an SF “big idea” at its core. The basis for a Netflix series that I haven’t seen.
Superheroes and Supervillains in Prose
Brandon Sanderson: Steelheart and sequels (The Reckoners series). This is a young-adult series in which all super-powered people, called Epics, eventually turn evil.
Seanan McGuire: The Velveteen series. This series is McGuire’s funniest work and is available for free here, but I recommend buying the books to support the author. McGuire also has a number of other fantasy series under her own name as well as some SF/horror series under the pen name Mira Grant.
Comics and Graphic Novels
Brian K. Vaughan, Cliff Chiang, and Matt Wilson: Paper Girls. This 30-issue comic follows four newspaper-delivery girls who get swept up in a temporal war on Hell Day, 1988. They travel to the ancient past and the far future, meet their adult selves, and learn a lot about themselves in the process. The comic was adapted into an excellent Amazon Prime series, which is a bit more character-focused than the plot-driven comic. Both comic and show are recommended. ♥▽
Ryan North: The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. This comic was my favorite ongoing superhero series until its recent ending. Firstly, it’s hilarious. Secondly, since Doreen Green (Squirrel Girl’s alter ego) is a computer-science student, there are a number of gags about coding and math. Thirdly, the heroine usually solves her problem not by beating up the villains, but by empathizing with them, understanding their problems, and helping them find nonviolent solutions. Since the series ended with Issue 50, it’s quite possible to read it all. ♥
N. D. Stevenson: Nimona. This mash-up of fantasy and science fiction is not only filled with humor but also includes a surprising amount of sweetness. ▽
Various authors: Lumberjanes. This young-adult comic series follows a group of cabin-mates at a summer camp for girls—excuse me, “hard-core lady-types”—as they encounter a surprisingly high frequency of supernatural phenomena over one time-dilated summer. This comic wrapped up its run after 75 issues. ▽
Alan Moore: Watchman. There’s a reason many people point to this graphic novel as an exceptional example of the genre. Honestly the way the story is told is more interesting than the story itself, but the storytelling is well worth the price of admission.
Short Stories in Speculative-Fiction Settings
Various authors: Metatropolis and its sequels. This series of anthologies is a near-future look at how cities (and green spaces) might evolve.
John Scalzi: Shadow War of the Night Dragons, Book One: The Dead City: Prologue. Trust me, read this hilarious fantasy parody for free here.
John Scalzi: Miniatures. A collection of very short science-fiction stories.
Young-Adult Speculative Fiction
Brandon Sanderson: The Rithmatist. In an alternate United States (so not in the Cosmere), geometric drawings are used to defend the world against an onslaught of 2D creatures. If you listen to the audiobook, I strongly suggest buying the hardcopy as well, since the drawings included play such as strong role in the story. I also suggest the Reckoners series, listed above, but The Rithmatist is my favorite non-adult story from Sanderson. ♥
Scott Westerfeld: Leviathan, Behemoth, and Goliath. This series takes place in an alternate-history WWI, where one side uses steampunk mecha, and the other relies on genetically engineered animals. There’s a bonus epilogue online, for those how can’t get enough. The hardcopy contains some very nice illustrations. The companion Manual of Aeronautics provides much additional (full-color) artwork, though the character descriptions in the last few pages contain major spoilers. ♥
Mark Lawrence: The Book of the Ancestor trilogy (Red Sister, Grey Sister, and Holy Sister). On a world being buried under ice, an orphan with magical powers joins others like her training to become warrior nuns. ▽
Myke Cole: The Sacred Throne series (The Armored Saint and sequels). In a land ruled by a religious tyrant who claims to have defeated devils from another plane, a teenage girl must fight to protect those she loves when the emperor’s vicious zealots arrive at her tiny village. Plus, there’s a steampunk mecha suit. The age of the protagonist points toward a young-adult audience, but this book has far more violence than is typical of YA novels. ▽
T. Kingfisher: A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking. “T. Kingfisher” is a pseudonym used by Ursula Vernon for young-adult and adult titles. This book follows a very minor wizard whose magic only works on dough. The story is full of humor and heart, and there’s more than a little (bread-based) action as well.
Anne McCaffrey: The Harper Hall Trilogy: Dragonsong, Dragonsinger, and Dragondrums. These books are a subset of McCaffrey’s Dragonriders of Pern series, which is discussed eleshere.
Suzanne Collins: The Hunger Games series. These books are the basis for the kids-killing-kids battle royale film series.
Children’s and Middle-Grade Speculative Fiction
Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events. Very well done, but also very dark. The Netflix series based on the books is also quite good.
Ursula Vernon: Castle Hangnail. This adorable story follows a would-be wicked witch who applies to fill a vacancy at the titular castle.
Brandon Sanderson: The Alcatraz series (beginning with Alcatraz vs. The Evil Librarians). These books take place on an alternate Earth (thus not in the Cosmere) where most of the world is run by a cabal of evil librarians. There’s a ton of fun adventure and silly humor, which my son loved when I read them to him as an 8- to 9-year-old. Be sure to get the later printings with art by Hayley Lazo; her work is great.
Kazu Kibuishi: The Amulet series (beginning with The Stonekeeper). A portal-fantasy graphic novel with beautiful art and an interesting, magical setting.
#unsolicited opinions#bibliophilia#science fiction#fantasy#speculative fiction#alternate reality#alternate history#detective story#mystery#recommendation#books
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Robot Chicken #73: “Maurice Was Caught” | August 2, 2009 - 11:30PM | S04E12
Sometimes I feel like my hatred of this show is thawing over time, but this episode really wore on me. The highlight of the episode was still a D+ at best. That was the Simon Belmont one, where the realities of using a whip as a weapon are highlighted. A fairly funny premise that didn’t overstay its welcome? Okay, fine. I’ll write about it semi-positively on my bad blog about cartoons. You win, Robot Chicken. You win.
As for the rest: There’s an Annie (of old-ass comic strip fame) sketch where it’s like that MTV Program Super Sweet 16. I applaud Robot Chicken for not having the voice just be Seth Green doing his patented “stupid bitch” voice; they actually hired an actress for it. The writing isn’t much better than those other sketches where they make fun of teen celebrities. Could have been worse, I guess.
There’s a sketch that’s like War Games, but it’s the Nerd playing a Lord of the Rings game. He nukes Canada trying to find a cheat code online. The government waterboards him until he finally implicates the middle east as a potential target. This technically qualifies as satire. It predictably ends with a prison rape joke, which technically qualifies as lame writing.
A lot of these sketches are fairly short, running around a minute each. Usually it’s easy to single out three “longish” sketches, and I guess I already have. There’s one where Sesame Street and Wall Street collide when Kermit the Frog’s cousin Gordon the Gecko shows up. There’s one where a scientist shows off a bunch of failed jetpack tests. There’s one where Petroleum Pete sings a song about the virtues of using fossil fuels. That last guy is sorta meant to resemble the Sinclair logo, I’m guessing. I thought maybe he was a real guy. That one hurts because it’s also musically bad. That was this one, goodnight!
EPHEMERA CORNER:
Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! - Season Three DVD (August 4, 2009)
The worst season of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job nevertheless receives as good of a release as any other season, with deleted scenes and extended sketches. The best bits on here are the half-hour version of the Muscles for Bones episode, and the complete Gettin’ It Dunn full-length ‘sode.
I read a review of this to remind me what was on it and was reminded that C.O.R.B.S. received a video commentary on adultswim.com. I also remember Jim and Derrick getting the same treatment, which I touched on in that episode’s write-up. It’s a shame those commentaries are lost to time. Dino’s Moral Orel commentaries made it to the Australian DVD for Moral Orel, but the rest are fucking toast.
MAIL BAG
Hey leave Wil alone! If you play nice with him he might send you a free case of Stone Farking Wheaton W00tStout.
Jesus fucking Christ, man. You made me look this up to see if it was real and I was very disappointed at what I found. Everything that turd does makes me want to you-know-what (TOILETFLUSH.ogg)
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WTNV quick rundown - 78 - Cooking Stuff: Thanksgiving Special
Featuring the guest voices of Wil Wheaton as Earl Harlan and Meg Bashwiner as Deb the Sentient Patch of Haze.
Cook a feast no family could fully eat. Recite prayers no family could fully believe. And acknowledge a frightful history no family could fully comprehend. Welcome to Night Vale.
Even though it's a cooking stuff with Earl Harlan episode, it is also partially about the trial of Hiram McDaniels.
Earl is here to tell us about how to make the perfect thanksgiving turkey, which starts by freshly killing a turkey because of course it does. Everything is standard for a cooking stuff episode, mixing actual cooking with strange NV methods.
Of note is that turkeys have six hooves and toxic fluids and cooks at 675 degrees. Cecil's mother used to cook him giblets, but Earl insists that giblets aren't a thing which confuses and concerns Cecil about what he was being fed. Carlos and Cecil have both never seen a thanksgiving turkey, let alone prepared one, apparently.
Earl also mentions how he's trying to develop a relationship with Roger still. He mentions how Roger gets up at night and walks the streets in a different pattern each night before returning and going to bed.
He also found Roger just sitting in a cupboard once. Roger's skin is apparently grey, decaying and nearly translucent. There is also no record of him existing at all before 'last fall' but he was allowed to enroll in school anyway, which is going fine, aside from when he's bullied for said grey decaying skin.
Roger is also really intelligent and looks to be about 8 or 9. Earl says they look exactly the same and shows a picture of Roger and then himself at the same age. Cecil agrees they look exactly the same, but questions why there seems to be a steam locomotive behind Earl in his childhood picture. This is interupted by the turkey setting on fire in the oven.
Cecil invites Earl and Roger over for thanksgiving and Earl gratefully accepts.
The thanksgiving parade in NV is apparently full of gore, torture and involves everyone dying. Cecil hates this, but Carlos enjoys it, so Cecil has Carlos just tell him how they all die.
There's an announcement pondering whether bears are dangerous or not, and suggests hugging one. Earl chimes in saying that bears are dangerous and Cecil tells him 'let's not argue'.
Weather: "Autumn's Echo" by Stripmall Architecture
Since NV usually doesn't have any trials, they have no judges, so appoint NV Daily Journal theatre writer Siobhan Azdak as judge. Troy Walsh is the prosecuting attorney. The only other five-headed dragon they can find to sit as a jury of Hiram's peers is his sister, Hadassah.
Listeners, thanks again for tuning in and thanks to Earl Harlan of the restaurant Tourniquet for these helpful cooking tips. Stay tuned next for a nearly exact repeat of this same show, but with the addition of one extra word that changes the meaning of everything. And as always, good night Night Vale. Good night.
Proverb: If a car flashes its brights at you, it's probably a gang. And if you flash your brights back, the gang gives you a cake. It's a cake gang.
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Tumblr made me do it
Rating: Teen and Up
Words: 2338
Something you may not know about Dean Winchester is that he has a Tumblr account. Shaddup. We don’t talk about it. He signed up for it years ago for the horror appreciation blogs, and stayed for the car enthusiasts and Star Wars fans. What we’re especially not gonna talk about is how when he discovered Wil Wheaton was on Tumblr he nearly gave himself away to Sam in his excitement. That was a close fucking call.
He follows a lot of blogs these days. Does his duty and reblogs when he sees something he likes. Thing is, there’s a confluence between the things he likes and knows about and a certain, shall we say, metafiction that he tries really hard not to think about. So in addition to the amazing fanart of Han Solo and Leia that splashes across his dash, he also sees a lot of pictures of. Well.
They never get him right. He doesn’t have that many freckles. His hair is brown, thank you very much. And his eyes are more hazel than they are green. Chuck never really got him right, either, and he shudders to remember that god awful cover art that had him sporting Fabio hair.
They do, however, tend to get Cas pretty much spot-on, with his messy hair, sharp nose, and blue, blue eyes. Not to mention the way that some artists draw his broad shoulders is almost exactly the way that Dean pictures he looks under his holy tax accountant getup.
Not that he pictures that.
Well, not very often.
Read the rest on A03 HERE
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Part Two of: Leverage Season 3, Episode 14, The Ho Ho Ho Job, Audio Commentary Transcript
Hi friends! So quick mod note here. The Google Doc for this transcript was 51 pages long, and when I tried to paste this over, Tumblr told be that there can only be 1000 'blocks' in a post? Which I'm assuming means lines/each person speaking here. So I am splitting it into two posts. I just posted part one of this episode transcript; here are the last 26 pages of the transcript.
John: That all of the Leverage fans have been waiting for.
Chris: With the beard of evil!
Aboud: Beard of evil.
John: With the beard of evil, Wil Wheaton, ever since Wil Wheaton grew the beard of evil.
Michael: Did he not have a beard on the- when he was on before?
John: He had a scruff of evil.
Chris: Yes.
John: Now he has a full beard of evil.
Aboud: We’re about to see him, aren't we?
Michael: Oh yeah, yeah.
John: Yeah we're about to see him back then, did he have the beard?
Michael: Call the flashback.
Aboud: There it is!
John: Yeah, yeah, he had the beard, it's more scruff, I think he has a fuller beard now. Now the freakout in the van. Boy was he a champ during this, cause we locked he and Aldis in those vans for like 12 hours.
[Laughter]
Marc: Yeah, couple days.
John: Couple days.
Michael: I feel like it should flashback to the DVD commentary for that episode.
John: Yeah.
[Laughter]
Aboud: Oh, there we go.
Michael: Lay that in.
Chris: There you go, it's perindelian [sp?].
[Laughter]
John: Yeah.Yeah and this is also- Wil does great snark. There's nobody who does the-
Aboud: Absolutely.
John: The brutal mocking quite like he does. And he’ll talk about this actually, that once he gave up trying to be a nice guy in his acting and embraced his inner asshole-
Chris: Yeah.
John: His career took off.
Marc: Yeah, he just picks apart the whole team here.
John: Yeah, it's great. And it's fun.
Aboud: One by one.
John: One by one. And it's a lot of fun because the team is very hyper competent, so it's pretty tough to pick apart- to find a villain that's worthy of them, you know?
Chris: Right.
Aboud: And there are a few villains in the Leverage universe that, you know, shit talk.
John: Yes.
Aboud: That's not generally who we- we don't have people that are as colorful in a kind of obnoxious way as Chaos.
John: Yeah, Sterling yanks their chain, but does it more through omission, yeah.
Marc: Oh and this is the best part when he imitates Eliot.
Michael: Yeah, yeah.
[Laughter]
John: The Eliot imitation, oh that's great.
Aboud: “Y’all”.
John: And Wil doing Christain is actually a lot of fun.
Michael: Yeah.
John: No, what it's tricky because for this one, you had to create a perfect Christmas heist plot, get away with it, to a great degree, and then come up with a totally different perfect heist plot.
Chris: Cause it was all mislead.
John: Yeah.
Marc: And he's even drinking Hardison's soda.
John: I know.
Aboud: Gosh this guy.
Marc: Really?
John: Really and he's taken his proxy penis.
[Laughter]
Aboud: Proxy penis.
John: It's really- and fried Lucille. Oh that's just- why can't he have nice things?
[Laughter]
Michael: That's what Tim should've said. ‘This is why we can't have nice things!’
[Laughter]
Chris: Where were you at 2 in the morning when they were shooting?
John: Let's go back and we loop that now, ‘Why we can’t have nice things.’
Chris: Loop it in.
Michael: Like there's a bomb going on in the back of that car.
[Laughter]
Chris: Yeah I know, I thought it was just flames.
Aboud: That's a great effect, a great practical effect of the smoke being emitted, and I believe it was an LED panel that was just pulsing.
Chris: Sparking.
Aboud: And that's how we got the sparks.
John: We don't usually let Aldis play pissed off either. He's kind of-
Aboud: He can do it, though!
John: It's kinda nice seeing that flavor Wil brings that out in him and he's like, you know. It's nice- a lot of people kind of, you know, take Christain’s character off, but when you- we were talking about this the other day on another commentary, Aldis, to a great degree, is the emotional barometer of the show.
Aboud: Right.
John: So whatever Hardison is feeling tends to be what the audience is feeling, you know.
Aboud: And he can do pissed, he can do badass.
John: Yeah.
Aboud: Very well.
John: Yeah the survivalist episode he was very good in, very physical.
Marc: Our 360 shot.
John: Nice 360.
Chris: Yeah.
Aboud: Sort of a signature of this show.
John: It is, ever since the accursed pilot.
[Laughter]
Chris: Now for the-
John: Though we did this handheld, right?
Chris: Now for the geeks, is it handheld? Is this steadicam?
Marc: Steadicam.
Chris: This is not on the track.
John: This is not on the track- I put a $10,000 bounty on the circular track one year, like, if that were to disappear it would-
Chris: Now Yakamoto building, who was Yakamoto and how did he- why did they name this-
Michael: It's sort of off of-
Marc: Yakitome.
John: Yakitome Plaza from Die Hard!
Michael: This has to be the badass building that's impossible to break into.
Chris: I was wondering what role did he have in the founding fathers of America?
Michael: Edgar Yakamoto?
Aboud: Oh no this is a holdover from- I've got a whole backstory for this.
Michael: Tell us!
Chris: Tell us about Edgar Yakamoto!
Aboud: This is from that era in the 80’s when the Japanese were buying up Rockefeller Center and all the big, you know-
Chris: Oh ok.
Aboud: Landmarks, and the Yakatome Company-
Michael: Yakamoto.
Aboud: Yakamoto- yeah. Was running their high tech security apparatus out of this tower.
Chris: Oh great ok.
John: There's also a lot of little Christmas images in here, which is her ability to fly as an elf.
Aboud: Yes.
Chris: Oh, and also going down the chimney.
Aboud: Yes exactly.
Michael: Another fun thing to write was saying we’re gonna pull an Edward Albee and having Gina and Tim do a little Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf con.
Aboud: Yes.
[Laughter]
Aboud: Interpret that.
Chris: Which they'll be doing down at the Burt Reynolds dinner theater in a couple of months, if you're down in Jupiter, Florida folks.
[Laughter]
Aboud: That’s-
John: Now here’s-
Aboud: Delightful moment.
Chris: Ohh ohh.
John: Oh and shh shh shh!
Marc: Shhh.
All: Shhh.
[Laughter]
John: I would like to remind everyone he's not-
Chris: Is he saying sugarplums?
Michael: Sugar plums!
John: Sugar plums that's right he's sending him to dreams, he's sending him to Christmas sleep, dreams of sugar plums dancing in his head.
Aboud: Sugar plums.
John: The most menacing sugar plums ever.
[Laughter]
John: But for those of you who are worried about the security guard, you can go on YouTube and see people choked out all the time and they're fine, like, five seconds later.
Aboud: Oh yeah.
John: It really is, it's just he's cutting- he’s not cutting off oxygen he's really just, you know, cutting off the blood flow to the brain, making him go to sleep.
Aboud: I mean he was out for about three hours, but you can go on YouTube and see that people come back in five minutes.
Michael: Minor brain damage.
John: Christain didn't quite get the grip right, that guy really bounced back.
Aboud: It was close.
John: We let him sleep up around the set, just kept watch on him.
Marc: The scary thing is this is really the server room that controls all of the sanitation-
[Laughter]
Aboud: Oh yeah.
Marc: And plumbing of Portland.
John: That we’re in? With our giant cameras?
Chris: Is that true? Is that for real?
Marc: Giant cameras and hooking up our computers to it.
Chris: So if you just pulled one thing out, a whole city block wouldn't be able to flush their toilets.
Aboud: Gone.
Marc: A whole city block- it would be like Ancient Rome.
[Laughter]
Aboud: A sewage-
John: Really, it would degrade that quickly?
Aboud: A sewage storm.
John: A tidal wave of cholera.
Chris: By the way, anytime you upload a worm there is a skull and crossbones.
Michael: Oh yeah no, that comes with, you can't have a worm without that.
Aboud: You know, actually, that is normally a pet peeve of mine, false UI. I don't like computer UI in TV, like that does bug me. But I can buy it when you've got a Hardison or a Chaos-
Chris: Yes, yes, you're right.
Aboud: Because they have clearly, from the ground up, built their own system-
John: UI, yeah-
Aboud: They've built their own UI, so yeah why not.
Michael: That’s user interface for those-
John: Yeah, especially if they are working in Linux or something that's really customizable, a lot of guys really have that as a signature.
Aboud: I don't have a problem with that.
John: There you go, and also we’re kind of fighting twenty years of television computers.
Aboud: Right.
John: Where when we in the pilot, for example, the first half of season one we did a lot of stuff really realistic and it turns out to be visually not very interesting.
Aboud: Right, right.
Marc: This was a good graphic save that Derek did, cause we couldn't afford to shoot a building at night with all these vehicles outside the building.
Chris: Oh this is great.
John: Yeah.
Marc: So we said let's come up with a graphic.
John: I love that little leaving them hanging.
Aboud: Don't leave me hanging.
John: Don't leave me hanging.
Aboud: How great is Derek Frederickson, our graphics person.
Chris: Oh yeah.
Marc: Fantastic.
John: It's a crucial part of the storytelling of this show.
Marc: Yeah.
John: And it's interesting- and you guys glommed onto it very quickly, but when writers start on the show, a big part of writers learning to write Leverage is learning that they don't have to write speeches- go to the screen.
Aboud: Yeah.
John: The screen is there, it's six feet across, you know, use it.
Aboud: The screen in many ways represents a sort of objective reality. You know, that's one thing for facts to be parceled out in dialogue.
Michael: [Snores]
[Laughter]
John: Oh god did you go to Harvard? That's a really Harvard-
Michael: Oh I'm sorry.
Aboud: Yeah.
Michael: We back?
John: Ordinarily you could-
Aboud: Sorkin writes our dialogue, Sorkin writes all our dialogue.
John: You could ordinarily think that Colton fell asleep because it was boring, but he really fell asleep because it wasn't about him.
[Laughter]
Michael: I just hadn’t spoken on the commentary track, so-
Chris: There you go, there the great-
John: Great Wil Wheaton gloat and grin. And now we're in a totally different episode! I love this.
Marc: That's right.
John: We’re in a totally different plotline here.
Aboud: Some emotional stuff out of Nate and the team.
Marc: Yeah, Nate takes it on the chin.
Chris: Mea culpa. He's very mea culpa this season, we don't get that a lot out of him.
John: Well you know, this was one of the things we were building to this season, is because the way he behaved last year, he has to accept that he is a peer of them now.
Aboud: Right.
John: Yeah, now he can't just dictate, he is one of the team and he has to take his lumps.
Aboud: He's one of the thieves.
John: Yeah now we're about to cut from the lovely mall to a real- to the guts of the sanitation building. What was it like shooting in the sanitation building?
Michael: Smelly.
Marc: It smelled- it actually smelled a lot worse above ground, it was hard. I mean getting all the gear down there was tough.
Chris: Yeah.
Aboud: It was dystopian.
Marc: It looked beautiful!
[Laughter]
John: It was [laugh] Viggo Morrison with the shopping cart.
Marc: You can't build tunnels like this!
John: No, no you can't. It's really one of those places you have to shoot the location.
Marc: Yeah you just- we got a lot of production value out of it.
Chris: And then the fake fact I like that they had underground tunnels in Boston back in the day.
Aboud: That was inspired by the fact that downtown LA, combination of things: downtown LA does have an abandoned pedestrian infrastructure that was built in collaboration with Disney. They wanted to put Wedway people movers throughout LA and realized it's sunny here all the time, you never will need that!
[Laughter]
Aboud: And they wisely stopped the project. The other half of it is the steam tunnels of MIT.
John: Yes.
Chris: Oh okay.
Aboud: Which are notoriously fun to run around.
Marc: And here you go, you get Wil Wheaton in tights.
John: Yeah, I love the fact that he has anticipated- that he is gone and either bought or made this outfit to close the deal.
Michael: Well he had it.
Aboud: So unnecessary!
Michael: He owned it.
John: There’s no reason!
Chris: It is very much- no you wanna approach a Santa-
Michael: Chaos used to go to ren faires, he had that.
[Laughter]
John: Exactly. Will might've owned that costume.
Aboud: Yeah.
John: I'll ask him when I talk to him next time. And now we've got a cross going, we've got like our third heist in the entire show going at this point.
Michael: It's exhausting, frankly.
John: Also in Boston actually there was- there's apparently still a lot of leftover underground infrastructure from the Big Dig when they put in the tunnels to the Logan airport.
Aboud: Oh sure, absolutely.
Marc: This is a 360 around the work force table that we've never done before.
John: Is this one of those things you realize that you were about to do for the first time as you were preparing the shot?
Marc: Yeah.
John: Yeah, that's always a good thing.
Chris: But I like it. That's a nice way, you got Nate moving away.
Marc: I got him from one end of the table to the other end, and then an exit.
[Laughter]
Marc: Perfect!
John: Well it's hard, it’s one of the challenges is breaking up when we've got static shots is like: keep people moving.
Marc: And again to cover the five-hander.
John: When the writers strand you like that, with the big stinking load of pipe like that.
Michael: Huh what?
John: Nothing.
Aboud: Uh-oh.
Michael: Santa fight.
John: Santa fight coming up.
Aboud: No not yet, first the wall saw.
Marc: Looking at this, this is my favorite graphic, the wall- the graphic of the saw on the screen, when that shows up.
Chris: Now how many-
Aboud: He went to the trouble to make a graphic of a saw to chart the progress of the real saw.
Marc: And we see it! Yeah.
[Laughter]
Aboud: Here it goes.
[Laughter]
Chris: There it is! That's the saw.
John: You know what? That would not be hard to do, I can see why he would do that.
Marc: That's CG dust and debris there.
John: Really?
Marc: Yeah, cause our fake-
John: They wouldn't let us cut through the wall?
Marc: Our fake walls were not creating enough.
Aboud: It isn't creating enough masonry dust.
John: Our fake walls were too well made?
Aboud: Apparently.
Marc: This was actually the last scene of the episode that we shot.
John: And another great little cheat is bounce through the window and they're looking out at this big giant exterior that will never- we don't have to connect them with.
Aboud: Exactly.
Marc: Yes, big cheat.
John: But it's useful, I mean, we did this in the pilot, though, remember when we shot that we built a window that he was looking out at the opposite building with.
Marc: Yup.
Aboud: Flashback to our kid.
Michael: Oh ohhh.
Aboud: Putting two and two together.
Michael: Planting seed.
Aboud: It's under the north pole.
John: There you go. That's also a nice job you guys did, which was making sure everybody had a little hero moment, I mean besides the fight. One of the things we were trying to focus on this year- and you saw it a little bit at the end of season two, was that Eliot was a very unpleasant, dangerous human being, and as such, he has a strategic sense that comes into play into these situations. He's not just a hitter.
Aboud: Right.
John: Also nice respect the suit, there you go.
Michael: Mhh hm nice Dave Foley, this is-
Marc: His exit here is the best.
Michael: Yeah.
Aboud: Think Downey said this was his favorite line of the season.
Chris: It is my favorite line.
Marc: That little stutter.
John: No this is a-
Michael: The morphine line?
Aboud: That's later.
Chris: That's coming.
John: I can't believe you let me drive it later, because it just takes the stink off, I mean. That's a great group shot. I've never noticed that before. I don't know just cause we were jammed up when we were shooting this one.
Aboud: The way they break, how about that.
Chris: Very nice.
Aboud: Here we go.
John: Santa fight. I think we just chanted Santa fight in the writers room.
[Laughter]
Chris: [Mocking] Chaos.
Marc: [Mocking] Chaos!
[Laughter]
Aboud: Look at that stink.
John: And there's a nice moment here, actually, where he's gonna beat Chaos up because he wrecked Hardison's van.
Aboud: Yes.
John: One of those little moments of friendship.
Chris: Well didn't he sort of- Wil picked up on the van thing.
Marc: Oh yeah, he said-
Aboud: Oh Wil was-
Marc: Well I wrecked that van.
Aboud: I wrecked that van.
Michael: That's right.
John: They turned it into like he banged his girlfriend.
All: Yeah!
John: I'd forgotten that. And they did it on the set right?
Chris: Yeah.
Aboud: He wrote that line on the set.
John: Yeah [laughs] wrecked that van.
Chris: This is great.
Michael: Wrecked that van.
John: Great Santa fight. And tricky too, this is one of those writing versus set challenges cause the way this was written- the geography of taking the bags and stuff was much easier; then you get down into the tunnel and it's like, ‘Oh, this doesn't line up with our imagination back in Los Angeles at all.’
Aboud: We’re gonna have to figure that out.
Chris: You smartly gave him a slightly different hued Santa suit so you didn't get confused as to who was-
Michael: He actually just spilled red wine on it.
John: Unfortunately hammered. Is that digital steam?
Marc: That is digital steam.
Aboud: Both.
Marc: We had a little bit and then we just added it to create the wall.
Chris: That's great.
John: Yeah, it looks nice.
Michael: Looks great.
John: Mark Franco, our digital effects guy here, adding production value every single week.
Aboud: Definitely.
John: I like the little braid in the Santa hair- would Santa have braids in his hair? i'm not-
Michael: Santa- some Santas have cornrows now.
Marc: He's Cherokee, part Cherokee.
John: Part Cherokee Santa? Alright. Fair enough, I did not know that
Aboud: I think that was actually a tie to secure it, but it's gotten loose in the fight.
Marc: Yeah.
John: It's interesting because all the December episodes are kind of our fable episodes, like the ones we've always wanted to do.
Chris: Yeah.
John: You know the steal a country, the Christmas episode. It's- they're a little gentler than the other ones.
Aboud: Sure.
John: You know.
Marc: This was the best stuff, filming scenes with children and stuntmen.
[Laughter]
Michael: When there were about 20 minutes had to go-
Marc: Without a fight!
John: Yeah, apparently there were all these laws about how many kids you can have-
Chris: Now where's the-
Michael: That's from Die Hard, right?
Chris: Where did that come from, did we buy that?
Michael: Looks like Die Hard.
Chris: We bought that, that was great.
Marc: That was a stock shot. Yes, you have ten minutes to film these kids or we’re all going to jail.
[Laughter]
John: Oh come on.
Aboud: Well stunt men and kids are enemies in the wild.
[Laughter]
John: That’s true.
Michael: Stunt men eat kids in the wild.
John: Well actually, that was a big deal - we had to have guys with those poles with loops on them right off camera to like grab the kids from the stuntmen.
Aboud: The wranglers.
John: That's right, Charlie Brewer popped one of these kids - just hit them right in the face.
Aboud: Oh totally, he had it coming.
John: The kid was obnoxious and missed his cue. This is- and we bring Christmas back. I like this is a good natured episode, I like this.
Marc: Yeah.
John: Even though Santa is brutally beating [laughs].
Aboud: I mean-
Chris: No, but then they are redeemed too, the evil Santas - they are moved by the children!
Michael: The kiss of a child!
[Laughter]
Michael: That'll do it.
Aboud: Their hearts are warmed.
Marc: That will do it every time.
John: Their hearts grow three sizes that day, that's nice.
[Laughter]
Aboud: And here we reveal that Eliot, on purpose, caused the steam wall as a ruse. Part of the clever plan of team Leverage.
John: They all look very happy here. And there you go, the undercover FBI.
Chris: Now did she flash a badge underneath the-?
Marc: Yeah, I think so.
Michael: I don't know what she flashed.
Aboud: It worked.
John: You know what, this is one of the things where it's like if a woman in an elf costume comes up and says she's an FBI agent, you're gonna believe her.
Marc: Course you are. Especially when she looks like that.
John: Yeah, exactly. And then she, you know, fights for the Christmas spirit, absolutely.
[Laughter]
Aboud: It's just-
John: Kindly FBI agents.
Chris: I think we need to-
Marc: There was a shot of Beth's sister in there as one of the mothers as well.
Michael: There we go, kiss! Awww!
All: Aww!
[Laughter]
Michael: I'm gonna give up my evil ways.
Chris: He loved it! Everybody!
John: Man, when I get out of jail in seven years I'm really gonna be changed.
[Laughter]
Michael: And here's the line!
John: “Can't believe you let me drive!”
[Laughter]
John: It's just so wrong!
Chris: Oh, that made me laugh.
John: Oh, and it really does take an actor like Dave Foley to land it, to kind of take the stink off it and- you know. This is it.
[Laughter]
Aboud: And then ho ho ho, you're right, that was ill advised.
John: And then.
Aboud: This guy just waiting, lying in wait for him.
John: Yeah. If Eliot-
Chris: And the backstory is he's an underprivileged kid, right?
Aboud: Exactly.
Michael: He's a latchkey child.
John: He’s a latchkey and now this is his last year for Santa.
Chris: Got a Rubbery Robby.
Michael: He's in juvie.
John: He's in really? What was he in juvie for?
Aboud: Caring too much.
[Laughter]
John: Really? I didn't know-
Aboud: Yeah.
John: -that was a crime.
Chris: There you go.
Marc: It's my third man shot of-
Chris: Yeah that's great.
John: That was really third man, that's nice. I wish we had the van going.
Aboud: The shadows. Put them up in a ferris wheel.
John: There you go. And man, you know what, we get a lot of mileage out of those FBI-
Marc: Jackets.
Aboud: Windbreakers.
Chris: Cafe press, we need to start.
[Laughter]
John: You know, I think they would probably have words with us if we started making FBI gear and selling it online.
Michael: Is that a problem?
John: That would probably be a problem.
Aboud: I think they'd have issues.
Michael: I like this bit.
John: The gloat.
Michael: Meaning of Christmas.
John: The meaning of Christmas gloat, just because Wil is so truculent.
[Laughter]
John: He's so hateful.
Michael: But he was right, the meaning of Christmas did not help them.
[Laughter]
Aboud: It barely applies!
Marc: Barely applies!
John: What I love is he's right, but that- I think that's kind of Chaos’s superpower, he is actually the only sane person in every episode he's in.
[Laughter]
John: Everyone else is living in Leverage-verse and he's kind of the cranky realist.
Aboud: He's the Frank Rhines.
John: He is, he’s the Frank Rhines of Leverage.
Chris: Oh here we go.
John: And this is a nice scene.
Chris: And this, now Marc, how long did this take?
Marc: This took a half a day.
Chris: Wow.
John: To shoot this whole sequence, the one scene.
Marc: Yup, this one scene.
Aboud: Lot of coverage.
Michael: I feel like there was stuff added that wasn't in the script. Like the- some of the Eliot with the sword and-
Marc: Yeah, I thought we'd do that. I added that just to give it just some action and plus, you know, Christain has a sword, why not?
Aboud: I don't think I added that much time though.
John: Yeah. I we originally had, like, killing ninjas-
Marc: Yeah, exactly.
John: Some ninjas arrive and he kills them, but that turned out to be too big.
Aboud: It's just the nature of having five people in that configuration, that's the trouble.
John: Well thank god for that corner of the bar. We found second year- we found that first episode second year and we were shooting all over the bar and were like how do we- ahhh this corner!
Michael: Oh, frame it around the portrait of JFK.
John: Rightfully so, by the way.
Michael: Yes.
Aboud: Yeah.
John: There you go.
Chris: Here we go.
Aboud: Watch this little bit he does. He pulls it ‘herh’!
Chris: Digital- that’s digital folks!
Marc: Digital glint!
All: Digital glint!
Marc: Course.
Michael: Now I forget, this was- we named it after the Kill Bill sword, which is not a real thing.
Aboud: Correct.
Michael: It was made up for Kill Bill, but this- I think now we're saying the Leverage universe exists within the Kill Bill universe.
Chris: No another great fake fact!
Aboud: From Kill Bill.
John: This establishes us in the Kill Bill universe.
Marc: Wait, this is my favorite part when he puts it back in.
Aboud: Here it goes!
Marc: Like Hardison’s gonna steal it.
John: And he's about to disappear off into the forest.
Aboud: Yeah.
John: No, it's great. Well it's kind of a will newton thing i'd like to see on the website now, people kinda connect the Leverage verse together with the Kill Bill-
Michael: They can write fanfiction. It's like Jackie Brown and-
John: Exactly. Because the Quentin Tarantino movies all exist in the same universe.
Michael: Yes.
John: There you go.
Aboud: And we should point out that when Mark Foley was going to- Dave Foley, excuse me, not Mark Foley.
Michael: Not congressional.
Aboud: Very different story. When Dave Foley’s going out of the country, he's going to San Lorenzo!
Michael: Ohh.
John: That's right.
Marc: Cause there's no extradition there.
John: Exactly, we established that you guys put San Lorenzo in there to establish that, that was very nice.
Aboud: Planted that seed.
Michael: Ope.
Chris: Oh that's great.
John: How did you do that?
Marc: We cut it, and glued it.
John: Nice. Just struck it. And I love the- she just likes money.
Michael: The smell of it, feel of it.
Chris: Just smelling it.
Marc: Gina was great in this scene, she played it really well.
John: Just sort of get me something shiny. This was great and this was tough. It was actually tough to see, yeah we had to digitally highlight that to get “your name here”. And people are wondering what she writes down. She does not write her full name down here.
Michael: We what was that- Falooza Pricklebottom or something? Is that her real name?
John: That is her real name, thanks for spoiling it for the audience.
Chris: People are gonna, you know, analyze the-
Aboud: The pen strokes.
Marc: Oh yeah, in the outtakes every time Tim would grab the napkin and go, “Steve?”
[Laughter]
Marc: Oh, and here's our snow.
John: Oh, yeah there you go.
All: Aww.
Michael: The innocent face of a child.
John: The lovely look on Beth's face, that's a hell of a read right there. Just busy-
Marc: Just walks right under the knife.
John: He's just thinking about killing, he’s really-. ‘I'm thinking about killing, you kids are thinking about Christmas.’ Now this is actually one of my favorite ending shots of all three years-
Michael: You can't see- they can't see, but you're crying.
John: I'm crying, I have tears running down my eyes.
Michael: Oh no that's Guinness.
John: That's Guinness [laughs] smeared all over me like I'm a small child.
Michael: Crying Guinness.
Marc: Digitally enhanced snow.
John: That smile back? That's killer.
Marc: Oh yeah.
John: That's killer right there.
Aboud: And he has to like-
Chris: He always has to-
Michael: Crane shot!
John: And then the crane. We paid for the crane, use the crane.
Marc: That's right, watch the flake land on her tongue!
All: Ohh great! [Laughter]
John: Digital?
Aboud: No, that was real!
John: That was a real one!
Marc: Enhanced!
John: And that was The Ho Ho Ho Job! That was a ton of fun. Thanks for watching and stay tuned.
Aboud: Merry Christmas!
Michael: Merry Christmas everybody!
John: And a happy new year!
#Leverage#Leverage TNT#Leverage Audio Commentary Transcripts#Audio Commentary#Transcripts#Parker#Alec Hardison#Elliot Spencer#Nate Ford#Sophie Devereaux#Season 3#Episode 14#Season 3 Episode 14#The Ho Ho Ho Job
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Star Trek: The Next Generation, 105 (Oct. 24, 1987) - "Where No One Has Gone Before"
Written by: Diane Duane & Michael Reaves
Directed by: Rob Bowman
The Breakdown
On Starfleet's orders, an Engineer named Kosinski is sent to improve the Enterprise’s warp efficiency with the aid of his mysterious assistant. Kosinski immediately reveals himself to be quite the pompous dickhead with a massive ego, but orders are orders, so Picard and Co. induldge him. The first test goes so unbelievably well that the Enterprise finds itself in another Galaxy, which everyone acknowledges is a bit too far to make a return trip using standard warp speeds alone.
Excitement over this new technological achievement is soon quelled when Kosinski finds himself unable to repeat the experiment, leaving the Enterprise potentially stranded in the middle of nowhere. It turns out that Kosinski was actually just an idiot the entire time, and it was actually his assistant who made the jump, on account of being a ‘traveller’ with special abilities that allow him go wherever he wants, with few limitations. Unfortunately, exhaustion just happens to be one one such limitation; and this dude is plenty exhausted after the jump.
Wesley has been the only person up to this point to notice the Traveler, and has tried to bring it to Picard’s attention, but everyone keeps getting too irritated by Wesley’s “Wesleyness” to bother listening to him. But once Picard IS willing to listen, he pays the Traveller a visit where the mysterious visitor explains that he is a) from a group of advanced space jumping folk, and b) that Wesley is super special and that he should be encouraged in his specialness, but never told about it overtly (apparently he needs to figure it out on his own, for reasons that are definitely not arbitrary). And with that, the Traveller agrees to one last attempt towards bringing everyone home. It almost fails again, but Wesley is evidently able to transfer some of his special-boy-energy to aid the Traveller before he disappears-possibly-to-death. With everyone home safe, Picard decides to let Wesley become an acting ensign, to start him on his chosen-one journey toward specialness.
The Verdict
This may be the first episode (chronologically speaking). That I can honestly say I like. Oh, there are still plenty of hokey and down-right-cringey moments, also Wesley is more involved than I care for, but at it’s core this is a solid little episode. The Traveler and his story are both intriguing, and there’s some solid groundwork that’s established seemingly in the service of Picard becoming less of an asshole to children (and hopefully also just in general). I can understand why others would rate this lower, but with Star Trek one has embrace a little campiness, and an embarrassing dose of optimism; That being said, ‘Where No One Has Gone Before’ very closely pushes the limit of what I can tolerate for both.
3 stars (out of 5)
Additional Observations
ST: Voyager is basically the same plot + 7 seasons.
I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I actually don’t despise Wesley this time around. I mean yeah he’s still the worst (sorry Wil Wheaton), but his character serves the plot, and he legitimately does nothing wrong. Indeed, he actually helps, all while enduring a lot of abuse. I came very close to rooting for him.
At the same time, the way the crew bullies Wesley is also hilarious, if only because it goes completely unaddressed. It’s like the show is trying to gaslight the audience into doubting that it’s even happening.
#star trek the next generation#tng season 1#Where No One Has Gone Before#retro review#star trek review#star trek#star trek tng#galaxy class#traveller#80s tv shows#80s tv series#tv show review#space exploration#wesley crusher#diane duane#michael reaves#rob bowman#episodic nostalgia
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