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kelstey · 4 months

Text

get him back!

mattheo riddle x reader

warnings : none

❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃

i met a guy last summer and i left him in the spring

"hey," you shielded your eyes with your hand from the sun, squinting at the figure in front of you.

"hey," you replied. you allowed your eyes to adjust, realising that a literal god of a man was standing in front of you.

"i'm mattheo," he brung his hand out in front of him for a hand shake.

"i'm y/n."

he argued with me about everything he had an ego and a tempter and a wandering eye

"you're such a dick! you were fully undressing her with your eyes!" you shouted at him, heated, absolutely enraged he was gaslighting you.

"staring at who?! you're making things up," mattheo ran his hand through his stupidly soft, brown hair.

"oh making things up?" you laughed at the stupidity that was coming out of his mouth, "i have eyes! i could see you checking her out as if i weren't right next to you!"

"yeah, whatever," he scoffed and walked away

he said he's six foot two

"and i'm like dude nice try," you giggled to pansy, gossiping about all the juicy drama to her.

"you love tall guys, he seems perfect," you blushed at her words, knowing she was right.

but he was so much fun, and he had such weird friends

"why do you have a ferret?" you questioned mattheo.

"it's just draco, i'm taking him back to snape to see if he can fix him," he chuckled and handed the white animal over to you.

"and how exactly did he get in this predicament?" you giggled as the little thing tried to bite

and he would take us out to parties and the night would ever end

another song, another club, another bar, another dance

you were pressed up against mattheo, grinding on him as the music deafened you. his hands were glued to your hips, gluing you to him.

"another drink?" he shouted in your ear.

"fuck yeah!" you shouted back, heading over to the bar to order another 10 shots.

and when he said something wrong he'd just fly me to france

"c'mon darlin, drivers here and he's taking us to my family's villa," you stepped off of the plane in paris, feeling like some sort of royalty.

"i can hardly speak french," you giggled, heading over to the personal driver who was parked, awaiting your arrival.

"i'll speak it for you, sweetheart," he winked, opening the car door for you.

so i miss him some nights when i'm feeling depressed

you laid on your side, mascara smudged all under your eyes as you continued to stare off into space; your mind on one person, and one person only.

you rolled onto your back, staring at the still ceiling as you reminisced the times he held you in his arms, the way his soft lips felt against your lips - and everywhere else on your body.

til i remember every time he made a pass on my friend

your eyebrows furrowed, frustrating growing through your body when you remember the one time mattheo hit on astoria right in front of you.

"hey," you watched as his hand was placed on the arch of her back.

"hey mattheo," she smiled and you frowned.

"you look gorgeous tonight, mind if i get you a drink?" be was now dangerously close to her and you felt as if steam was coming out of your ears.

do i love him? do i hate him? i guess it's up and down

if i had to choose, i would say it right now i wanna get him back i wanna make him really jealous wanna make him feel bad oh, i wanna get him back

cause then again i really miss him and it makes me real sad

oh, i want sweet revenge and i want him again i want to get him back, back, back

so irerite bim all these letters and i throw

them in the trash

"dear mattheo,

i hate you, but i love you. and i hate you again. you're a piece of shit. i never want you to speak to me again but i don't want you to ever stop trying to reach out. you confuse me so much. i know we're bad for each other but you're the only one i want. cause i miss the the way you kiss, and the way you make me laugh."

yeah, i pour my little heart out but as i'm hittin' send

i picture all the faces on my disappointed friends

"you did what?!" pansy screeched in the middle of the hall.

"girl shut up! pineapple might hear! plus, i only wrote it in my notes. merlin, do you really think i'm stupid enough to hit send?" you scolded her.

"i wouldn't put it past you," she began walking again and you rolled your eyes, knowing she was right.

because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do

"he's not the type of guy you should be with, y/n,"

theo spoke to you, his thumb rubbing circles over your hands as you told him the things he did.

"he said i was the only girl but that just wasn't the truth," you felt your eyes water, theo giving you a pitiful look.

and when i told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me i was trippin'

"you keep giving me mixed signals, mattheo," you were now beyond exhausted of the arguing.

"you're trippin'," he couldn't even look you in the eyes as he knew what you were saying was factual.

you titled your head, "you're a fucking cunt." you poked your index finger into his chest, pushing past him as you headed to class.

but i am my fathers daughter, so maybe i could fix him?

your fingers were tangled in his hair, calming him down as he had yet another argument with his father.

mattheo was laid on your stomach, his body between your legs, hands wrapped around your back.

"i just hate him so much," warm, salty tears fell from his face to your stomach.

"i know baby, i know. i'll do my best to help you."

i wanna get him back

i wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad

oh, i wanna get him back

'cause then again, i really miss him, and it makes me real sad

oh, i want sweet revenge, and i want him again

i want to get him back

i want to get him back, back, back

i wanna key his car

"c'mon, hurry," you waved pansy over, the two of you disguised with all black, baggy outfits, and balaclavas as you hopped over the riddle's manor.

"which one is it?" pansy pulled out her endless assortment of keys.

"that one," you pointed over at the black mercedes.

"posh twat," pansy muttered and tossed you some keys.

"i wanna get him back," you smirked. you carefully went over to the parked car, trying to make as little noise as possible.

quickly you began to run the keys across any surface area of the sleek black car, ruining it as much as possible.

"this is for making me listen to y/n rant about you 24 fucking 7," pansy mumbled to herself.

i wanna make him lunch

"hey love," you gave mattheo a sweet kiss on the cheek as you handed over the bowl of pasta, his absolute favourite of yours.

"you truly have my heart," you fake smiled at his

comment.

i wanna break his beart

you straddled theo's lap, his large hands going under your skirt as he massaged away at your ass. his lips were hungry for yours, the kiss was rough but it was everything you wanted and needed.

you had thought because of the dark lighting, and crowds of people, that mattheo wouldn't see. but oh he did.

his heart shattered, dropping at the sight of you with his best friend. he downed the rest of his drink (aka straight whiskey) before heading over to the two of you, ready to fuck some shit up.

you moved your hips against theo's, grinding on his boner, his lips still eager for more of you. he knew it was bad - betraying his friend. but you wanted to get mattheo back, and theo was only there for some very 'moral', moral support.

you were ripped away from theo, landing on the foor with a thud, you looked up to see mattheo going ham at theo, punching him over and over as the fight broke out.

you stared in horror - enzo pulling you away from the horrific sight.

then be the one to stitch it up

"hey matty," you walked into mattheo's room. he was sat at his window ledge, head in his book which he was reading intently.

"what do you want?" he didn't even glance up at you.

"i'm sorry about last night," you made your way to him.

finally, mattheo looked up at you. his heart nearly bursted out of his chest seeing you in his hoodie - the one you always wore when you stayed over.

"baby," his voice was now softer, his eyes staring at you in adoration as the memories of the nights you spent together came back to him.

"i'm really sorry," you pouted your lips, knowing it was all so fake.

wanna kiss his face

you held mattheo close, his face rested on your chest. you leaned down, peppering kisses onto his face 'lovingly'.

you smiled down at him, "i love you."

"i love you too," you said, he put his face back in your chest. you looked up, the smile wiped immediately off of your face.

with an uppercut

wanna meet his mum

just to tell her her son sucks

"hi mrs riddle," you smiled at the older lady as she opened the door.

"hi, and who might you be?" you tried your hardest not to let the disappointment take over as you realised mattheo clearly had never talked about you at home.

"i'm y/n, and i'd love to tell you all about mattheo. i suppose he's clearly not mentioned me then?"

oh i wanna key his car

"what the fuck?!" mattheo yelled, his arms flailed up as he stared at his car, freshly bought and freshly keyed.

"what are you - oh," his father stepped out of the house, face dropping at the scene in front of them.

wanna make him lunch

mattheo was crouched over the toilet seat, uncontrollably puking over and over as draco rubbed his back.

"mate what the fuck is wrong with you?" draco was both disgusted yet trying not to laugh.

"y/n made me lunch. think she's poison-" he threw up, yet again into the toilet.

"suppose she's got to get you back somehow." mattheo shot draco a glare. "apologies," draco held up his hands in defence.

i wanna break his heart

"hey tom," you wandered into mattheo's older brothers room.

"what?" he turned around from his desk.

"oh nothing," you held your hands behind your back, innocently walking over to tom. "just wanted to see you, is all."

you sat on his lap, fixing his loose tie. tom's hand supported you on his lap, a slight firm grasp on your thigh too. you finished sorting his tie, your eyes flickering up to his eyes.

"have i ever told you how much hotter than mattheo you are?" tom smirked at your comment.

"my very own brother, hm?" his face was close to yours, millimetres away from each other.

you nodded, looking from his eyes down to his lips. "i do prefer older guys," you closed the space between you and tom.

as if on cue, mattheo walked in.

stitch it right back up

"mattheo, i don't know what got into him! he just pulled me onto his lap and you just walked in," you explained to mattheo.

"do you promise me?" he looked up at you, sadness in his eyes. you felt bad, but he felt nothing when you were depressed over him for months.

"promise, sweetie, you know i'd never," oh yes you absolutely would.

wanna kiss his face, with an uppercut

"oops!" you covered your mouth with your hand as you accidentally 'nudged' mattheo's arm as he was mid falling asleep in class, his face hitting off of the table.

"want me to kiss it better?" you asked him.

"please."

i wanna meet his mum, and tell her her son sucks

"oh he did not," his mum was appalled, hand covering her mouth as you told her about the year long situationship with her son.

"oh he did, and then, he had the audacity to be like "you're trippin',", ugh the cheek!" you took another sip of your tea.

"oh and don't get me started on the time he was flirting with my friend in front of me! but then he got upset cause i kissed one of his friends as payback."

i'll get him, i'll get him, i'll get him, i'll get him back

get him back

i'm gonna get him so good, he's not even gonna know what hit him

he's gonna love me and hate me at the same time

he didn't know wether to hate you or love you. but what he did know, was that he was undoubtedly obsessed with you.

"please, y/n, i'll do anything," he was on his knees in front of you, begging for your forgiveness.

you really wondered how he even had feelings towards you - you keyed his car, made him lunch that was poisoned, broke his heart by kissing his best friend and brother, told his mum all the shit he did and how he sucked.

but here he was, willing to give up anything and everything for you.

you had finally got him back.

❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃

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bvidzsoo · 8 months

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Slow it down

⊂Biker!Seonghwa⊃

TW: nothing

Word count: 3.1k

A/N: A short drabble while I'm away on vacation, because for some reason biker Hwa's been occupying my mind lately, not letting me rest. I can't wait to continue my pirate!au mini-series with Ateez, I miss writing it so much lol. Being at the sea is definitely not helping at all at suppressing my creativity lol. Hope you enjoy this one!

You couldn’t tell when it started, your infatuation with Seonghwa. Infatuation, perhaps, was a strong word, but you didn’t know how else to define it at the moment; maybe crush would’ve been a more fitting term, you thought, but you weren’t too sure about it. Park Seonghwa. You had known him for years, although never truly paying much attention to him, he still managed to become the center of your friends conversations, stealing the spotlight at any given chance without even being around. Seonghwa was quite famous at your school, and in your town, let’s be real, for constantly doing bad things and breaking girl’s hearts left and right. He was your typical bad boy and you wanted nothing to do with him. He was edgy and sometimes quite dramatic; he dressed in all black and wore quite cheap looking jewelry, painting his nails black after he realized girls went crazy for it. He knew he was good looking and he used that to his advantage. He could persuade anyone into doing whatever he wanted and it came in quite handy when he was behind on his schoolwork, his teachers excusing him for whatever dumb story he managed to come up with. Girls ate up his sob stories about his fake pets and evil parents; he came from a very loving family, so you never understood why he was lying about it. And, oh God, when he got his license for his motorbike did his popularity skyrocket even more. You were pretty sure you caught him once making out with one of the teaching assistant’s behind the school, but one side glance from his sharp eyes and you knew never to mention it to anyone. And to be honest, that was probably your first and last interaction with the boy, not that it bothered you. You liked your peaceful life as it was, serene, and void of worries correlated to boys. You didn’t feel like dating at your age yet, seventeen wasn’t too young nor too old, but you felt like you weren’t ready for a relationship. And that was fine, your father was happy too, not quite ready to lose his ‘little’ girl which he was aware you weren’t anymore, but it brought closure to him to know that you didn’t crave male attention just yet. His ‘little’ girl’s heart would remain unscathed for a little longer.

And all of that sounded really good, really, you would’ve never complained about your ordinary life. Oh, well, that is until Seonghwa started showing up to your father’s car service frequently. For some reason, the two of them seemed to be getting on well, and your father allowed him to come in from time to time to fix his motorbikes. Seonghwa owned at least three by now. He was two years older than you and while all of his friends went to college, he stayed behind, telling people he wasn’t ready to choose just one thing he was interested in to study for the rest of his life. However, this confirmed your theory for you that he just didn’t know what he was good at and that he wasn’t smart enough to go to a good college. It might’ve been a little harsh to view him like that, but he never ranked too high in your high school, too busy chasing girls and starting fights. And so, one day, as you made your way home you decided to stop by your father’s car service before heading upstairs as you lived just above it.

The rock music blasted throughout the car service; a few cars scattered around as your father had quite a lot of work for the week. Him and his colleagues were nowhere to be seen and you figured you stopped by during their lunch break, everyone was back in the dressing room. But you wanted to greet your father still, show him the grade you got on your thesis, unable to keep the smile off your face. You scored the highest in your year, it made you ecstatic. Your father would always order your favorite food whenever you brought home an outstanding grade, celebrating your achievement. With a skip in your steps, you waltzed down the spacious room, appreciating the white Mercedes your father was currently fixing. You failed to notice the clanking of tools, so when you turned to your right, your heart almost jumped out of its place as you yelped loudly. The older guy just cast you an unimpressed glance before he bent down again, unscrewing something around the front spring of his motorbike. You placed a hand over your hammering heart, frozen in your place as you watched his long black hair fall over his face. His hair had gotten longer since the last time you saw him, which was probably around a year ago, at the closing ceremony of his graduation.

“Did you become a statue or what?” His low, monotone voice snapped you out of your initial shock and your eyebrows furrowed as you shook your head, remaining silent. Seonghwa cast you a quick glance before he continued working, eyebrows furrowing as he struggled to take off the nut screw. He had been sweating prior and he lightly tapped his forehead before twisting the screw again, nothing happening. You didn’t consider your next actions for long as you let your backpack fall onto the floor before walking up to Seonghwa, kneeling down beside him. He turned his head to look at you, his sharp eyes watching you closely as you inspected his work, chuckling. Of course the nut screw wouldn’t come off if it was stuck, almost fried onto the tube it was holding together. So, you looked around for a little oil and found it on your father’s stand, so, you stood and walked over to it, getting it, then walked back to Seonghwa’s motorbike. You kneeled down again and sprinkled a little oil around the nut screw, failing to notice Seonghwa’s curious gaze on you. Because it was slightly fried against the tube, you struggled to get the nut screw off at first, but after tugging at it and forcing it, it finally loosened up enough to come off, clattering onto the ground. You grinned in victory and grabbed the nut screw, turning your body towards Seonghwa to show him your success but you, instead, froze at the proximity. Your noses were almost touching and your wide eyes took in his face, taken by his mesmerizing features. He seemed tanner than the last time you saw him and his plump lips were redder too, dark eyes gazing into yours intently. Sweat rolled down the side of his temples, stray strands of hair sticking to his damp forehead. You had never seen him from so close before, and suddenly you understood all those girls who gave in to him. He was breathtaking. His sharp gaze held a glint of curiosity in it and that made you self-conscious as you quickly stood, clearing your throat, as you extended your hand to Seonghwa.

“Uh, sorry—” You started, avoiding eye contact, “I should’ve asked before helping—”

“I’ve been struggling to get that off for half an hour now,” Seonghwa chuckled as he stood, taking the nut screw from your hand; you didn’t fail to notice the way his pointer finger ran over the back of your palm, making you gulp nervously at the unnecessary action, “and you did it in like…five minutes.”

You didn’t know what to say so you just picked up your backpack and looked away as Seonghwa took a step towards you, your body tensing, “You’re Mr. Han’s daughter, right?”

“Yes, I’m—”

“Y/N, I know who you are.” Did he really? You smiled a little, nodding your head as you heard laughter coming from behind you, it was your father’s. And as Seonghwa watched you, he noticed how tense you seemed to be around him yet as soon as your father approached the two of you, you had long forgotten about him. It was weird to him; he was used to girls throwing themselves at him constantly.

“Y/N!” Your father hugged you, excited to see you, “What brings you around here?”

Suddenly, a big grin appeared on your lips as you unzipped your backpack, digging around, looking for your thesis. Seonghwa watched intrigued as you pulled the paper out and shoved it in your father’s hands, who’s eyes had the same glint as yours in them. It was quite an endearing sight, how much the two of you resembled each other.

“I got the highest grade, dad!” You exclaimed with excitement and your father chuckled as his eyes ran over the papers, a proud look on his face as he handed it back to you.

“Very well, honey,” He handed you the thesis back, “You know what’s for dinner tonight then.”

Seonghwa watched as the biggest smile he’s ever seen on you spread onto your lips, snatching the thesis away from your father who just chuckled and winked at you. He’s seen you around your high school, but never had the chance to talk to you. It seemed as if you always ran away from him, almost as if you were avoiding him. He knew of his reputation, it was hard not to when everyone kept reminding him of it, yet you never seemed to care as you wouldn’t even cast a second glance his way. You weren’t fascinated nor scared of him, it was peculiar, but he never thought about you for too long. He usually didn’t like challenges when it came to girls and those who played hard to get never had his attention for too long. He wasn’t there for the long run, therefore he found it useless to invest so much energy into one girl only. But you seemed like you didn’t want his attention at all as you kissed your father’s cheek goodbye before you ran out of the service, forgetting about his presence altogether. It didn’t sit right with Seonghwa, and as he gazed after your bouncing form, your father chuckled and looked at him amused.

“Didn’t you two go to the same high school?” He asked and Seonghwa nodded his head.

“We did, but our circle of people were too different for us to know each other.” Seonghwa’s answer made your father chuckle to himself, nodding his head in understanding. He knew what type of boy Seonghwa was, he never truly expected his daughter meddling with him.

“Yes, that makes sense—” Your father said more to himself before his eyes fell on Seonghwa’s motorbike, “How’s the spring, son? Any progress?”

“Oh, I got the nut screw off finally—well, your daughter did, actually.” Seonghwa admitted with a shameful chuckle and your father nodded, not looking surprised in the slightest.

“Yeah, she’s quite the mechanic, my little one.” Your father gloated proudly before he walked off, headed towards the white Mercedes he was supposed to fix by Friday.

And after that first encounter with Seonghwa, you considered it your first real encounter, you seemed to run into him everywhere. It started being creepy after a while and it made you feel weird as you told your best friend, who didn’t think much of it, unsurprisingly, and suggested that perhaps you were just randomly running into each other, your city wasn’t too big, after all. Despite that making sense, you couldn’t help but still think Seonghwa was doing it on purpose as he’d always strike up a conversation with you when you crossed paths. Sometimes it was about something really dumb and it would make you look at him with a questioning gaze, nevertheless, you still seemed to entertain him, curious of his motives. He never made obvious advances towards you, so you really didn’t understand what was the purpose of all of his actions. Perhaps he was looking for a friend now that his other friends were in a different city at college? But that didn’t make much sense as he stopped showing up to your father’s car service since he had fixed his motorbike, yet trailed you around the city whenever you were out. And one evening, as you were headed home from the library, you had been doing research on a fish type for you biology class, Seonghwa was there. Across from the library in the parking lot, sitting on his motorbike as his eyes fell on you. Your heart skipped a beat and you looked around, trying to find the person Seonghwa could be waiting for it. But it seemed like just the two of you were on the street and you sighed as you took off, but not towards him. The sun was long gone and you had to walk quite a lot to get home, so you didn’t want to waste any more time, not a fan of walking around alone at night. But you barely made it a few steps before you heard rapid ones approaching you from behind. By now, you knew it was Seonghwa. You had memorized his walking pattern and the force of his steps.

“Headed home?” And you were right as his head popped up next to yours. You cast him an unimpressed glance before nodding wordlessly. Seonghwa hummed and continued walking next to you, grinning as he realized you were trying not to look at him. You couldn’t help but notice the gear he was wearing, his thick jacket undone and his light sweater showing underneath. He has never touched you before, so when you felt his warm grip around your wrist, halting you from taking another step, your eyes widened. He pulled you lightly forward, towards himself, and you almost tumbled into him. His cologne was strong and you caught the whiff of something strawberry scented, his hair looked like it wasn’t completely dry.

“Let me take you home,” Seonghwa’s low voice was soft and quiet as he looked in your eyes, making you flustered, “It’s not safe for you to walk alone.”

This was it, then, the moment Seonghwa’s been probably waiting for to finally try and woo you. He didn’t seem like the patient type, you had to give him some credit for holding out for so long. And despite every fiber in your body asking you to accept his offer, heart thumping loudly at the proximity and wrist burning from his warm hold, you smiled and softly pulled away from him.

“Thank you, but I did this walk many times before,” Seonghwa wasn’t pleased with your answer at all, and he let you know as his eyebrows furrowed, “There’s nothing to be worried about.”

But Seonghwa didn’t let you leave, stepping in front of you, making your body collide against his, you hoped he didn’t hear your quiet gasp, “There’s plenty to be worried about, actually, so just let me take you home.”

You took a step back, trying to put some distance between your bodies, hoping he wouldn’t see your red cheeks. You didn’t think he’d be this persistent and as you looked up at him, he seemed very determined, “I’ve never ridden a motorbike before and I don’t have the proper gear either.”

That made Seonghwa chuckle and you watched as he quickly took his jacket off, closing the distance between your bodies once again, making you avoid eye contact as he draped his jacket around your shoulders. He held the collar together around your neck and you gulped nervously, his fingers lightly grazing against your neck. His jacket was heavy and a lot bigger than your frame, “I brought two helmets, don’t worry.”

You went to still try and deny his offer nicely, but Seonghwa was already pulling you after him, interlacing your fingers, making you blush again. You couldn’t deny his attractiveness anymore, and despite staying away from him for so long, you seemed to be unable to do so lately. Yes, he was everywhere, but you seemed to want him to be everywhere you were, his sharp gaze always following you, making you stay alert. When he wasn’t looking, you’d sneak peeks at him, admiring his features from afar, imagining as you ran your finger down his tall nose, his plump lips, his sharp jaw, and then all over his dark eyebrows. Park Seonghwa was gorgeous and you now understood those girls trying to get his attention, hoping he was the love of their lives. You entertained that thought sometimes, before falling asleep mostly, wondering if you could fall in love with Park Seonghwa. Wondering if he could genuinely love someone. Wondering if he could fall in love with you and not play you like all those other girls before you, But now, as you stood by his bike, allowing him to place the spare helmet around your head, securing it, it all felt so real and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was ever going to change. Seonghwa suddenly grinned, his smile making your heart melt, as he tapped the helmet where your cheeks were supposed to be, and you found yourself suddenly holding his hands, pressing them down, holding them in place

“Were you waiting for me?” You finally asked what’s been on your mind ever since you spotted him and now a charming smile appeared on Seonghwa’s lips, gaze locking with yours. He suddenly gripped your hands and brought them down to your sides, interlacing your fingers on both hands. You were glad the helmet somewhat concealed your currently red cheeks.

“Yes, I was,” Seonghwa admitted truthfully, “there are no coincidences when it comes to me, Y/N.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you tried not to grin as Seonghwa watched your face closely for a reaction, grinning himself. You didn’t want strands of hair getting into his pretty eyes, so you found yourself pushing them behind his ear, hand lightly grazing against his skin, making Seonghwa gulp. He tried to remember a time when his heart was racing this much because of a girl, but he couldn’t. He watched you as you fixed his hair for him before placing the helmet around his head, securing it and tapping the top like he had done for you. It made him chuckle and you looked down, embarrassed, but excited by his reaction. Despite his bad boy reputation, he was being rather soft and almost shy as he released your hands and got on the bike, beckoning you over too. You got on too, excited and lightly scared by the new experience as Seonghwa brought the engine to life, reeving it a little and making you giggle. You allowed your arms to rest around his middle, holding him tightly as he took off, headed towards your house. You knew explaining this to your father would be a bit troublesome, but you hoped his liking for Seonghwa would help you out a little bit.

Masterlist (divider)

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apolloanddaphnis · 1 year

Text

Speaking in Tongues

Part III

Disclaimer: There's smut that might make people uncomfortable. Not proofread.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

We ended up parked behind the Hollywood sign around 4 in the morning.

The heat was on in the car and the seat warmers, it was nice and toasty. Timothée's seat was reclined all the way back and I had somehow made it so I was sitting comfortably sideways in his bony yet comfy lap. My fingers were buried in his Hershey's chocolate curls, as his big ring adorn hand rested on my hip beneath the borrowed shirt that smells like him, his finger toying with the band of my thong. His face rested in my cleavage, he even undid more buttons so he could feel my bare flesh pillowing his cheek.

It felt comforting and erotic being this close to him, as his other arm was wrapped around my waist to keep me close, I realized I didn't think I had such a wonderful cuddle like this one.

He let me choose the music and I signed into my Spotify on his phone. I Go Crazy by Flesh for Lulu played beautifully through the speakers of his Tesla. As I gently massaged his scalp, I allowed my ears to be caressed by the lyrics of the song.

This city's mad in the head

And sick in the soul

All the stars flew away a long time ago

Isn't that nice

Like Miami Vice

I go crazy when I'm without you

Well your life is like an infants dream

It's like everything's on TV

You see your face in the mirror

Could it be your place in the mirror

And so we turn on the TV one more time

And we see that everything is fine

"This song is really good." He said. "The eighties seemed to have a lot of good hits, the kind that describe how you feel and you didn't notice you felt this way until the song came on." He rambled into my skin, the breath of his words tickling my flesh making my nipples hard and pebbled.

"Exactly, I don't think anytime was more expressive and emotional than the eighties, it was my favorite. I know that sounds so cliche and nostalgic, but I've always felt so out of place with this time." I explained as I rubbed that spot behind his ear that caused him to groan and me to smirk.

Postcards from Paradise from the same band played next, I sang along a little and softly. Timothée lifted his head from my cleavage smiling up at me toothy, I giggled and it was cut off when he nuzzled the corner of my lips, and kissed me there. He sat up a little more causing me to bounce a little in his lap. He squeezed my hips and sighed audibly into my throat before kissing there as well.

I giggled softly and rubbed his back, and he responded by licking my chin and kissing my mouth and oh my God. Where has this mouth been all my life? Why have I never been kissed like this? Why hasn't anyone massaged the shape of my lips, or curled them with the rolling of tongue and pulling with teeth as if trying to bring my mouth closer. It wasn't fast, it was slow, slow, sensual, and I barely felt it before he gently pried my lips open with his and he slipped that long muscle in. He licked my tongue and rubbed my lower back beneath the shirt before cupping my ass, fingers flirting with the strings of my thong.

He sucked on my tongue before stroking every cavern in my mouth with that skilled tongue of his, and took a ringed hand to gently grab my jaw gingerly. The kiss grew to be more intense and we pulled apart reluctantly because we literally couldn't even breathe anymore. His face was beautifully flushed, Rouge bloomed across cheeks and the bridge of his freckled nose.

My tongue hung out a bit and he stared at it with a soft, little moan before kissing me again, this time a little faster with saliva pooling. I squeaked and it was muffled, before hungrily kissing him in return, I wanted to kiss him so deep I wanted to taste what he had for breakfast.

He rolled his hips up against mine, pinning a barely covered crotch with his hard on that the sweats barely concealed. My eyes rolled back and he kissed my lips more before sweetly kissing my cheek and eyes. Then he sucked on my ear lobe like it was a gobstopper. I shivered and released a shaking moan, I was dripping wet staining his sweats as he fucked me through clothing practically. He then thrust his tongue into my ear. "Timothée!" I cried out.

He ripped his shirt from my body with such force I heard the expensive buttons clatter to the floor. His eyes zeroed in on my breasts and he grasped them and squeezed them. "These are so…fuck." He buried his face in them and sucked on my fawn colored nipples and sucked hard , teeth grazing as his mouth tugged on them painfully in a way that had me on the verge of an orgasm.

I watched him suck between the two with his eyes rolling back. I can't believe he was getting off from my breasts like this, he's so hot. I tugged hard on his curls and he snuck a hand below before ripping my thong off, it now laid in tatters on the floor of his car.

He laid back on his reclined seat. "Come on kitten, climb up."

I was dizzy and panting. "Huh?"

"Straddle my face."

My eyes widened. "I might crush you."

"Good, it'd be a hell of a way to go. I want those playboy, made for shorts thighs that are most likely the envy of every gymnast, to hug my head, forcing my face further into that sweet little cunt. I don't give a fuck if you're worried for some stupid reason, you haven't reason to be self conscious you're easily the most beautiful most sexually frustrating little sex kitten ever to be born. And if you don't sit on my face right now I'm going to punish you, I mean it."

I didn't see this coming, the unexpected dominant nature, the filthy praise. He was out of my wettest dreams.

I wanted to be so good for him, so I didn't waste a moment more. I hovered my dripping pussy over his awaiting mouth, and he grabbed my thighs and pushed his face up pressing his mouth to me, causing me to gasp. He then laid back down bringing my ass right to his face.

His groan vibrated rapturously against my pussy before he sucked on my labia with greed. I gasped and grinded down and thoroughly rubbed his tongue through every fold before thrusting his tongue inside of me. My eyes rolled back and rode his face more, his nose bumped against my clit and then he sucked my bud into his mouth and I couldn't wait, and when he slapped my ass so hard causing a wave of ripples thundering across my ass, I came so hard and so much and my eyes rolled back again and I felt like a doll that's voice box has been broken and I'm sputtering things on repeat. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" I cried out, tears poured down my cheek in black from my mascara.

I slid down and pushed down his sweats into his anaconda of a cock sprung out almost cartoonishly. I was drooling, and it hit his thigh. His cock twitched and he whined. "Fuck." He gasped.

I reached down and rubbed my release from my pussy, I dropped saliva on his tip and took my slicked hand and rubbed my juices along with my saliva rubbing his cock with the organic lubricant. He bucked his hips almost violently. I watched in awe as I took my soaked hand and rubbed and kneaded his balls. I couldn't see his face since my ass was in his but hips and serpentine cock was telling me everything. I gently played with balls and stroked his cock, wet and lewd sounds echoed in the car playing along with Flesh for Fantasy.

I moved my mouth down to the puckered hole between his ass, I swirled my tongue around his rim and he made the most delicious whine of a sound. "Fuck, just like that you dirty girl" he groaned his voice going higher at the end.

I spat on his hole before sucking on it and he bucked again. "Holy fuck!" He gasped. I still was stroking his cock sloppily, as I sucked on his hole, my drool spilling before I pressed my tongue in and his cock was leaking spilling his cock. Wet, slurping noises mixed with his whining. I then moved my mouth off of his rim and took his cock in my mouth, he gripped my ass and thrust into my mouth before spreading my cheeks and I felt his spit on my hole, causing me to moan around his thickness.

He mimicked my motions from earlier, sucking on my hole and I whimpered against his shaft. Timothée didn't hold back any longer, he started fucking my mouth and I gripped his thighs to hold on, my nails dug into his skin as he sucked on my rosebud and proceeded to tongue fuck it as he slammed his cock down my throat. Tears spilled down my face as sloppy lewd sounds muffled my cries and his eager feasting.

I felt a single ringed finger move in stretching my back door entrance and I writhed, writhing like I was possessed. I choked on his cock and orgasmed just when he filled my mouth with his release.

He pulled me off him as he panted lazily, he gently patted my ass. "I'm not done with you, chouchou."

I felt boneless but was being pulled about, before I knew it he had me on his reclined seat with my bruised nipples pressed against the cooling leather. He spread my legs and slapped my ass hard, when I let out a yelp he slapped it again and harder before grabbing it roughly in such a dizzying manner. He bit my cheek hard and I let out a sob before I melted into a moan. He bit my other cheek and I gasped. I knew I was going to be black and blue later. I shivered when he rubbed my dripping pussy before forcing two fingers in deliciously.

"F-fuck!" I stuttered.

"Jesus, wet little fuck doll. Feel that? You love this don't you? Love me destroying this perfect made to order body. You want me penetrating you in every sense of the word, no one else just me?"

I could hardly answer so weakly nodded, but he wasn't having that. He bit my ass so hard and clung to the seat lurching forward. "Answer me, chouchou, je l'exige!"

He's bossing me around in French? Was I dreaming? Did I get drugged and induced to this alternate reality like my own Wonderland?

I love it, I love this, I wanted his name etched into every part of me.Timothée, Timothée, Timothée, Timothée.

He didn't demand me in harsh tones or a darkening voice, every command in French or English has been in gentle chastising, stern and soft, almost lazy sounding, with a threat beneath.

"Shit, look at that pussy glisten, you like me roughing you up? You're a doll that likes to be played with so hard she breaks? More Bratz than Barbie?"

"Yes!" I cried out, his words pushing me toward another orgasm.

"There's her voice, thought I lost it, don't ever not speak again baby. " He pressed against me, that weapon he calls a cock sandwiched between my ass like they're a pair of buns and he has the hot dog. He kissed my neck gently, his ringlets brushed against my skin. "I always want to hear your pretty voice, it's the most gorgeous sound in the whole word."

I almost cried at his saccharine words, no one has ever spoken to me like that.

"Yes, Timothée. "

"You're so good, so sweet, now are you going to be a good little whore and let me in?" He slapped his cock against my weeping hole. "Just gonna be a whore for me? Open your pussy for me?" He bit on my neck making me whine. "Shake this fine ass for me?" He gripped my ass making it jiggle. "Be good please" He pleaded and sniffed my hair. "Shake it for me as I impale you with my cock, I've always dreamed…"

The fact that I have starred in his fantasies, I couldn't believe I was that high on someone like Timothée Chalamet's pedestal. He pushed inside me slowly, and I felt him so deep in, tip brushing close to my cervix, I felt brain dead. Once he bottomed out he placed his hand on my abdomen where I could see his outline of his dick, holy fuck.

Remembering his pleas, I moved my ass bouncing it back on his cock provocatively. He groaned his hands held onto me possessively, his breath panting in my ear as he pinned me down with no way of me escaping as he fucked into me. His balls slapped against my pussy lips. "Good girl, good girl. Fuck that's it, best ass in the world, best pussy, so tight!" He gasped as he pounded inside of me faster, obscene sounds of our affair overpowered the volume of our Playlist.

I whined for more. He was thrusting so fast and so hard, stretching me more than I've ever been and the delicious pain of him hitting my cervix pulling me into a state of bacchanal frenzy. I couldn't ever cum unless I felt a bite of pleasure, he knows my body so well like he owns it. He bit the back of my shoulder sinking his teeth in and I gripped his cock, choking it with my pussy.

He sobbed out into my ear, pounding faster and faster, my eyes crossed, my tongue fell out and unintelligent words spilled from my mouth as I squirted and made a mess on his cock and his expensive car. I felt him fill me and fill me, no way could anyone have this much cum? It hasn't ended, I suddenly for the first time desired cumflation, to show physical evidence of where it all went.

"I-ung-ngh!" I got out and he laughed maniacally, lost in his own state of euphoria. "Fuck that's right, take it. Sois une gentille fille pour moi, prends tout mon petit chaton crème. Laisse-moi te posséder, te posséder, et je t'adorerai, je ferai tout ce que tu voudras. S'il vous plaît, s'il vous plaît, s'il vous plaît, putain!"

He finished his last ropes, with a loud outcry. We cried together and he collapsed against me. His cock still in me was still hard even though he panted like he climbed Everest when he just climbed me. "One more time please…one more time before I take you home."

I was beyond exhausted, everywhere was sore. I would need an Epsom salt bath, 3 200mg ibuprofen, and cotton underwear. No way could I take another around. "Okay, just one more."

@sufferingstarlight @meetmyothersouls

#timothee chamalet #timothée chalamet #timothée chalamet x oc #timothée chalamet smut #smut

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serxinns · 1 month

Text

Sweat treats~ Chap 2

Tw: Blood and death!

Yandere Bnha ships x undercover hero reader

Once you reach your house close and lock the door, you quickly put on your undercover Hero suit with most importantly your hero mask "Xin I'll be back sweetie!" Xin mewed and went back to sleep you grabbed your suitcase and went out of the house you pressed a button and a few seconds later it became a motorcycle you hopped on it and drove to your boss agency

"Ah there you are birdie~," Keigo said as he smirked keigo was your agent partner and boss he was in charge of striking down and killing villains and you were either the backup up or his getaway driver they walked you in the meeting room where ziki kicker and, Maharu was in "alright since everyone is here.." he drops the documents papers for everyone in the room "There's a villain planning to steal a valuable and powerful jewelry kept safe in the safe kitkari, you, and maharu find the bombs and remove them carefully while me birdie and buns (aka Mirko) will take care of her ourselves which means y/n and maharu will pretend that they're partners" you all agreed with his plan and head out with your spy car "Oh and make sure you dress up nicely and use your fake identit s and disguise make sure theyre not real " Mirko stated "hm I wonder why do we?

Time skip cause I'm lazy

Once they made it to the ball 2 large men were guarding the door "Name and partner name?" The men said pulling out their hands for any type of ID "I'm Marshall Rover this is my lovely wife Sasha Willwood " "ok get in next " "Zachary west and my lovely wife Mary~" Ziki tried fake flirting with Kitkari (aka mary) wich Mary pretended to be flustered "ok get in" you and Mahara looked at each other and nodded "State your name?" "Um I'm f/n (fake name) and this is my husband uh..moose?" Marharu and the others stared at you Keigo and Kitari tried not to laugh while Ziki and Miriko rolled their eyes the guard eyed at the both of you while you smiled at them trying to keep their cool "yea your on the list get in" you sighed in relief and walked pass the large fancy doors

and you were amazed when you saw how well done it was it felt like you were a background character in Cinderella "Well damn no wonder, why ms Miriko told me to dress nice this place is beautiful" You stared in wonder head turning at each angel to feast upon the view like a child 1st discovering candy stores unaware that hawks were chuckling at your reaction "gotta pay attention birdie don't wanna miss our target~" you snapped out your daze "Oh! Im so sorry I'll do better next time my mistake mr hawks" you made a small bow to him while Ziki snickered at you and he chuckled "That's all right now let's focus"

"Good luck!" Kitkari winked at you while she and Ziki ran off with their gear they sped away the 4 of you spread out by slow dancing to spot the red-haired woman, "look!" Marharu whispered pointing at the small crown near the food table you see the red-haired woman, the woman's name was Diana famous for stealing valuable things and has been on the run for 4 years now nobody ever caught her because of her quirk camouflage and another quirk called lava, "Mr ha- I mean Keigo I see her.." you whispered making sure nobody heard you "let ziki and kari know and I'll grab the attention of everyone in the party for a while you finished the job" suddenly Keigo went on stage and choose some music while miriko played piano with him

Your eyes sparkled at how smooth your boss's voice was and how Mirko was amazing at playing the piano and also singing with him heck you were almost distracted keigo spotted you and gave you a wink and a charming smile which made you blush while Mirko gave you a seductive wink and blow a kiss you blushed and looked away in embarrassment, Maharu changed his finger to the tip of a sniper while you had a gun in your pocket (his quirk is a firearm which allows him to form limbs as any gun his drawback is running out of bullets and losing energy) "ziki when I tell you now you turn off the lights" "on it"

Maharu got his aim and shot ready

Keigo and miriko was getting ready to fight in case they missed

"NOW!" You turned off the lights and heard bullets flying and people screaming and running away "Did...you get it?" You turned on the light and saw people screaming seeing the redhead on the floor blood streaming down her head everyone was running in different directions "IT THEM!!" The 2 men said pointing at the 4 of you joining them were like 100 guards guns locked and loaded "...RUN!" The 4 of you dashed off going up the stairs and down the hall "KARI ZIKI GET THE CAR READY're going TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF "

Miriko was jumping back and forth throwing punches and kicks h at the guards but there were too many and had pretty strong quirks the 4 of you made it to the roof Mirko used her leg to knock off a piece of a metal pipe and tied it around the door to block it off while you used for your quirk to try and block off the exit making them harder to get to you, "cmon cmon cmon!"m

Your mind was running wild screaming even though the doors were about to open at any minute nails and bolts falling apart while the door kept staying strong shaking back and forth "We have no choice just jump!!" The 4 of you jumped as far as you could just when the guards finally busted down the door a red sports car drove underneath the 4 of you crashing you and their fall and quickly driving away quickly.

After everyone got dropped off at their designed area with a bunch of goodbyes and teasing you were the last to drop off "Good job on today's mission Birdy did amazing today~" "yea honey bun you did amazing today!" You rubbed the back of your head sheepishly "Eh it wasn't that good the two of you were amazing, especially your singing and piano playing!" They both chuckled at your praise "well have a goodnight!" The two of them watched as You rushed off into your "house "you know baby our little employee there is kinda cute i wonder are they single?" "Patience love Patience let's get to know them 1st before we ravaged them" he playfully glared at her whole they sped off into the night

Time skip to the next day

You arrived at the lovely day at the cafe maharu was a bit cranky while ziki was being a little shit as usually "Hey y/n ready to start the day?!" "Yes and you better not steal any of the expired treats KARI" she giggled while you playfully put of the middle finger at her you heard the bell behind you and immediately turned around giving them your biggest smile "hello my name is y/n and welcome to the cafe!"

Y/n!! Y/n!!

You looked up to see a familiar green hero suit freckled and green messy hair, brown eyes and pink cheeks with slightly longer hair

"Iuzku!? Ochaco!?"

#yandere bnha #yandere ua #tw yandere #yandere x reader #tw obsessive behavior #yandere class 1a #yandere mha #bnha fluff #tw stalking #romantic yandere #yandere ships

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daisyblog · 1 year

Text

Carpool Karaoke

When We Were Young Masterlist Summary: One Direction help James get to work.

“Hey man, hey mate..it’s me. Listen..I’m in a real bind traffic-wise, I know you’re in town, is there any way you’ll just be able to help me get to work?...Ugh are you serious?..Alright…yeah I’ll see you in two minutes okay” James spoke into his phone whilst sitting in the driver's seat of the car.

The passenger's side door opened and James greeted Niall “Hey man..thanks..thanks for this..I really appreciate it. The traffic...”, James was interrupted with the back door of the car opening with Louis entering, “James”.

“I only need one” James tried to explain but YN, Harry and Liam followed behind Louis and began to get comfy in the backseats, “I really don’t need everyone...Waaw” James said whilst looking confused at the entire band sitting in the car. Despite YN and Louis not being on the best of terms right now, since they broke up, they both put their media training to use and wear their best fake smiles as they were told they had to sit next to each other, to avoid fans and press thinking they were anything but civil right now.

“The more the merrier right?” Niall asked James.

“I guess, I guess..yeah, alright”

"Make sure you get your belts on" Louis spoke next to YN as he reached for his seatbelt behind him. There wasn't much room in the back so YN was squished between Harry and Louis, so she leaned forward in her seat, one for more space and two so she could avoid looking at her ex-boyfriend.

"If anyone needs a wee-" James said.

"I need a wee" YN joked, hoping James might stop the car to allow her to change spots.

"Hold it" James instructed, making YN pout "Do you mind if we listen to some music"

From her place between Louis and Harry, YN began to shout “One, two, three”

The whole band and James began to sing…

You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the door Don't need makeup to cover up Being the way that you are is enough

Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else, but you, ooh Baby, you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know, oh-oh You don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see You'll understand why I want you so desperately Right now I'm lookin' at you, and I can't believe You don't know, oh-oh You don't know you're beautiful, oh, oh-oh That's what makes you beautiful

As YN wiggled back slightly because she could feel her seat getting warmer, she could feel Louis' eyes on her but she choose to stay looking in front before she spoke.

“Who the hell put my seat heater on…stop it boys" James and Niall laughed hysterically in the front “My ass is on fire” YN continued, but Louis was quick to turn to look out the window with a smirk on his face.

As James pointed out a car that was following them with some fans inside trying to take photos, Liam explained that the fan had been following him for weeks.

"Is it scary having people find out where you live?" James asked.

"It does get a bit..um..scary when they're kinda like close to your house" Louis began to explain, before turning to YN "Do you remember..that time I tweeted about there being nothing worse than not being able to have a cup of tea in the morning 'cause we didn't have any milk" YN swallowed at Louis mentioning the memory so casually despite them hardly saying two words to each other for what felt like years. "Within an hour...someone's ringing me doorbell..there's like this forty-five-year-old woman..she comes to the door she's like 'here's the milk'..and I'm like aw well thanks love"

Noticing YN dip her head to her eyes are focused on the floor, Harry playfully pinches her hip and she turns her head towards him and he puts up his thumb, a little gesture they do when they want to check that each other is okay.

The band had just done a band harmony with James and the intro of Best Song Ever began. YN, Liam and Harry moved their fists up and down into the air as they were dancing together. “..to the best song ever” James hit Zayn’s high note, and in sync, the whole band stopped and stared at him in shock with the biggest smiles on their faces.

“Go on James..hit that note” YN encouraged and start clapping for him, making James laugh.

“Bands when I was growing up would always do dance routines and wear the same clothes..and you’ve really kicked against that..why?” James asked.

“Because it’s weird” Harry said with a serious expression on his face.

“We just made a decision that we weren’t going to be that band” Niall explained.

Harry interrupted “I think it makes that when at the start people are dancers..and none of us danced”

"Don't put YN into the same category as us for dancing lad" Louis tried to compliment, making YN turn her head to look at him, to which he gave a friendly smile. She knew he was trying to win her back, he'd been trying for weeks but she wishes he would stop saying little things in interviews, on stage and when others were around. It was getting harder each day for her to get over him. Wishful thinking on her behalf.

With an idea already in his head, James suggested the band have a dance routine at some point.

“Why don’t you choreograph it for us and we’ll do it” YN suggested.

“Here’s the thing” James began “You never made a video of No Control..and I think we could make a video with choreography” At the mention of No Control, YN tensed up because it was no secret that Louis had written the song and it wasn't rocket science to know that he had written it about his sex life with YN.

“Alright” Louis agreed.

“Ok..come with me on this” James said before showing the band the actions to each line from the chorus of No Control.

“So you do this…waking up beside you” James instructed whilst leaning his head on his hand and then lifting his head up and pointing forward, each of you copying his actions.

The next action made everyone laugh, “I’m a loaded gun”, James points down to his crotch, all of them copying. YN and Harry glanced at each other with raised eyebrows, wondering what James was going to think of next. Not going unnoticed Louis whispers something into YN's ear, making her roll her eyes at him but fans were quick to point out that whatever Louis had said to her made her lips turn up into a little smile.

“I can’t contain this anymore” with everyone's hands out in front of them. For “there’s no control, no control” James instructed them all to wave their finger out in front of them.

Next, James and Niall gave the band in the back, matching denim jackets to create the video. Everyone performed with sass and really gave the fans what they wanted.

“Do you know the game sleep with, marry, cruise?” James asked and continued to explain the rules of the game.

Niall was first, “Niall I’ll give you three people, you're three are Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez and Tina Fay” James stated with a cheeky grin on his face.

Niall began to think, but it didn’t take him too long “Sleep with Tina Fay”

“Nice” James interrupted with an impressed smile.

“Marry Selena Gomez”

“Good choice, why not”

“And go on..go on a cruise with Demi Lovato” “Great fun, great voice” James stated and was proud of Niall’s choices.

But what fans were really interested in was Louis clearly looking at YN whilst Niall answered and mouthing the words "I'd marry you".

The intro to Perfect began to play and instantly the band all started to sing whilst clapping their hands to the beat.

But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do Then baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like going places we can't even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about Then baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now

One thing that didn’t go unnoticed was the way YN kept glancing in Louis's direction as she sang.

To end the band and James sang Drag Me Down, all clapping in sync.

All my life, you stood by me When no one else was ever behind me All these lights, they can't blind me With your love, nobody can drag me down

Nobody, nobody

Nobody can drag me down

During the bridge, YN began to rap,

Ain't nothing to break a chain or two Nothing to nothing to break chain W Hear the spit about a penthouse view Yo changing, looking out from my red house view yo That's all is done when the boys come through yo Changing, looking out from my red house view (what) Don't think about, be it What nobody can do D to the R to the A to the G me down, ain't nothing to be around Harry and, James, woah woah Niall, Liam, and Louis and YN too Woah, hey, woah, hey, woah, hey, woah, hey, woah, hey, woah, hey, woah, woah, woah, woah The boys looked at her in shock but couldn’t help but dance and encourage her. Louis started shouting, and Harry clapped along.

YN and Harry harmonise your first high-note riffs together.

“Nobody can drag me down!”

They both keep singing loudly in Liam and Louis's ears to annoy them but as they both get to the second note they can’t help it any longer and just both burst into laughter. James turns in his seat and bursts into a high-pitched laughter too!

“Thanks for helping me get to work guys”

Tag List: (let me know if you would like to be added) @peterholland04

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queer-reader-07 · 4 months

Text

if you would allow me to be sappy on main for a moment, i think there is something so powerful in choosing to fall in love with the world and with the human story.

i can't speak for everyone, but i know that i went through a period in my life where i was nothing but cynical and nihilistic about the world. i had convinced myself that nothing mattered, that if the world fell apart before my eyes it was what we deserved.

but here's the thing, cynicism isn't sustainable. you are never going to be able to find joy in this world if you convince yourself everything sucks and there's no joy to even be found in the first place.

yeah, sometimes the world does suck. sometimes all i want to do is curl up in a corner and sob because i'm violently scared that my loved ones won't come home safe because they dared to exist as themselves in this world. i cannot put into words the levels of fear i felt for my mom's safety during 2020/2021 when anti-asian hate spiked in the US, i worried everyday that she would not come home because how dare she exist as an asian woman in this country. when anti-trans legislation started picking up steam i was, and still am, scared for the safety of myself and all the trans people i know. the world sucks sometimes, people suck sometimes. but i refuse to let myself give up.

i want to believe in beauty of the world, i want to be able to revel in the fact that we are alive, that i am alive. and that our being alive means that we can create beauty and wonder and joy.

i get to enjoy the art that people create, because oh how special is it that we create art? that i can open my phone and read beautiful words crafted by people oceans and countries away. that i can bask in the beauty of the drawings and paintings people so kindly share with the world. that i can walk into a library and be surrounded by generations of stories that i have the privilege of reading. that i can go to a concert and experience the transcendence of live music.

but i also get to experience the beauty of nature. i get to watch as the clouds turn pink on my early morning drives to school. i get to take photos of the cherry blossoms in the few weeks that they turn pink in the spring. i get to look out my car window on a clear day and see the mountain grace us with her beauty.

i am alive. we are alive. why should we waste this life wallowing in cynical despair?

i have to believe in the world. i have to believe in the human story. i have to hold onto the hope that life is worth living and that things will get better. i am reminded of that hope every time i see art that makes me feel alive, every time i read a book or a poem or a story that makes me feel like being a human is a beautiful thing, every time a song transports me into a new world. i am reminded of that hope every time i talk to my friends and am reminded of why i love them so deeply. i am reminded of that hope every time i learn something new and feel the joy of new beginnings and new experiences wash over me.

i hope. and that is a powerful thing. it is a powerful thing to hope and to love and to believe. to hope for a better world. to love the world. to believe in the world.

a friend told me recently that i love and care for humanity fiercely and gently. and i think that's the root of it all. i don't just love my people, i love people. i love the human story, i believe in the human story, i have hope for our story.

it is powerful to love and believe and hope when you exist within a society that wants to beat you down. it is powerful to love and believe and hope when you are the "other" in the social order. it is powerful to love and believe and hope when you used to think you were not worthy of those things.

it's hard to love and to hope and to believe. but i have to, for my own survival. i have to allow myself to fall in love with the world. i have to allow myself to believe. i have to allow myself to hope. because for so long i didn't allow myself those things. and i think that is a powerful thing, that i can allow myself those things now.

#this ended up much longer than i'd intended #woops lol #i just love the world and the human story and art #love is powerful #hope is powerful #and don't let anyone tell you otherwise #love #radical hope #radical love #personal #musings on love #not good omens

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joesalw · 6 months

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You are just jealous that Taylegend has more hits than all your shitty faves combined. I swear.

It's literally so misgynistic for still hating on Taylor Swift. She's a legend and if people don't respect that they are fucking stupid. And that's my opinion. I'm allowed to have an opinion.

I don't even know why they gave her so much crap for dating that Matty Healy. It was never confirmed. Just because they were seen together and she invited him on stage, doesn't mean anything. Like she has black friends. And they aren't together anymore. Like what more do you want? It's not her damn job or her business to speak for minorities. She is a damn singer.

And if she wants to call a shitty Netflix show out for insulting her, that is literally her business. And fans absolutely should do everything to defend her because she's gifting them with her music. What does Taylor get in exchange? Money..But can she listen to money? No.

This actress had the choice not to say the line for insulting our Queen, so she made the choice of being attacked. Like. I swear.

People are even bitching at her for polluting the planet. First of all. Stop. Just right there. She's not the only one at fault okay. You drive a car, when you could easily walk or use a bike. I swear you only hate her because she is a woman. If Taylor Swift chooses to use her private jet then that's her decision. If you are criticising a woman for making a decision you are misogynistic. And for the information. She borrows her jet to her poor friends. It's literally so charitable of her so they don't have to fly commercial with a bunch of strangers packed in a room together. She cares about people more about the environment. And if that's her preference. Let her be. Like trees don't have feeling like humans do.

And Travis is the only guy in Taylors life that realized that he is with a Queen. A prize that should be cherished. He knows she is above him and that's what a healthy relationship should look like. If it's not constantly in the news it's not a good relationship. And Travis bought a house for them. Something Joe's poor ass never could afford. Like poor Taylor. She waited 34 years for a man do to anything special for her. Do you know how hard it is to live like that?

Y'all is this satire or serious?

#anti taylor swift #anti swifties #swifties dni

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airenyah · 1 month

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Get to Know Me Tag :)

was tagged by @telomeke, @ranchthoughts, and @callipigio <3

do you make your bed?

not usually. both in my room at my parent's flat and now in my own flat as well i don't have a couch to hang out on and so i tend to spend a lot of time in my bed during the day bc it's more comfortable there. why make my bed in the morning if i mess it up soon enough anyway? i'll only make my bed when i'm trying to feel/look neat (like for example when people who i don't really know come over)

what's your favourite number?

23! elementary school me was veeery creative in choosing this number.... (my birthday is on a 23rd) anyway this number stuck with me and now it's just part of my personality hahaha

what is your job?

i'm a uni student and i don't have a "fixed" job where i'm employed and get money every month, but i have been working at a specific theater every summer since 2022. this year i'm actually the official assistant director. the rehearsals haven't properly started yet, but i've already one or the other task for it. can't wait for june when we're finally starting with the rehearsals!!!!!!!

if you could go back to school, would you?

depends... compulsory schooling that they make you go through from age 6 to age 15?? HELL NO. adult education? catch me taking 434353 courses on 434353 things

can you parallel park?

i don't have a driver's license

a job you had that would surprise people?

i haven't had many jobs in my life and none of them seem very surprising tbh? if you know me, at least i've worked as a graphic designer before, but i don't see how that would be surprising. also, i'm sure that i've mentioned this a few times in my tag ramblings

do you think aliens are real?

i don't think aliens are real but i also don't think aliens are not real. basically, i don't think aliens exist in the way they are depicted in movies, but if nasa came up to me and told me they found some sort of life somewhere else in the universe i'd be like "yeah i'll believe that". the universe is so vast, so it wouldn't surprise me if there really is something out there, but i don't really think about it tbh

can you drive a manual car?

as i said, i don't have a driver's license. but if i did, the answer would be yes. bc as a european you WILL be taught to drive a manual car at driving school. you could also choose to learn how to drive an automatic car, but that's really the exception to the rool. besides, idk what it's like in other countries, but in austria you're allowed to drive manual cars only if you got your license with a manual car. so getting your license with an automatic car limits your options quite a lot

what's your guilty pleasure?

i don't really feel guilty about my pleasures?? i don't always tell people that i'm really into thai bl, but that's less about feeling guilty and more of a "know your target audience" kind of thing.

tattoos?

nope. my brother has a couple of tattoos and he'd love it if i got one (i think he'd like to have a matching tattoo with me), but i can't do needles. but if i ever did get a tattoo, it would probably be something related to sicily. my brother actually has a tattoo of the trinacria

favorite color?

a really shiny dark blue and a really shiny darker red!

favorite type of music?

uhhhh.... good question?? i grew up listening to classical music and i still really like it, but i don't really listen to it anymore. these days i listen to pop music quite a lot? but that's also a very hit and miss for me, bc i tend to get overwhelmed easily with pop music. idk, just show me a song of any genre of music and i'll tell you if i like this particular song or if i dislike it my playlists tend to be full of song i have some kind of emotional connection too, though! so for example, songs that have been in series/movies that i watched or songs that my loved one's have/had in their playlists and that remind me of them, etc...

do you like puzzles?

i don't dislike puzzles, but it's not something that i would think to spend my time with

any phobias?

spiders!! i've had a phobia of spiders all my life. it's gotten a little better now, and how freaked out i am really depends on the size of the spider, where it is, if it's moving, and also how i'm feeling that day. the worst thing that could happen is a spider touching me in any way, so as long as i have enough distance between me and the spider and the spider is stationary, i'm good. i really dislike spiders right above my head, though i also have a phobia of needles. when i was 12 i had to get my blood drawn when i was sick once and i had a panic attack (or something along those lines). i've tried to avoid needles as best as i could ever since... and as a child i also had a fear of vomit. people vomiting still makes me uncomfortable, but at least i no longer run away and hide behind the door of my room hahaha

favorite childhood sport?

i've never been really athletic but i liked swimming!

do you talk to yourself?

in my own flat when i'm all by myself? yeah!

what movies do you adore?

der schuh des manitu is my problematic fave <3 apart from that, i also adore stardust and tangled and the emperor's new groove and i'm also up for marathoning high school musical, how to train your dragon, pirates of the carribean (1-3), and lord of the rings (extended edition of course) at any given point in time

coffee or tea?

tea!!!!! i LOVE tea!!!!! i had a cup of tea only an hour ago!!!! i'm not big on coffee, apart from a cappucino every once in a while which i also only drink when i'm in italy bc i just don't like it enough to spend 3-4€ on it in austria. coffee flavored things are mostly fine, but coffee as a beverage? not a big fan

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

i don't remember the first thing i wanted to be that wasn't a suggestion by my parents. possibly an actress????

tagging @newyearknwwme @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @celestial-sapphicss @cornflowershade @dimplesandfierceeyes @wack-overflow

as always, feel free to ignore!

#this was fun!!#tag game

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the-down-upside-finch · 7 months

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I just want to ramble because there is no way to explain just how excited I am to get to publishing the part of Minding Q's where Nic and Chase are introduced

Because here’s the thing. Their relationship is simultaneously the most wholesome and most unhinged of anyone in the story so far, and also

Chase is literally the world's biggest jerk for his entire intro sequence. This is because Nic woke him up at 5am and told him they were going on a surprise roadtrip. "You’re driving." Imagine being stuck in a car with the most hangry and sleep-deprived person ever because that’s basically what happens.

Nic spends the entire intro being like "I SWEAR HE'S NOT ALWAYS LIKE THIS I JUST REALLY SCREWED UP THIS MORNING I PROMISE HE'S A SWEETHEART I PROMISE" while there’s this hulking used-to-be-wrestler-now-artist getting ready to kick his legs out from under him (not really but he’s thinking about it)

And then someone asks Nic why he calls Chase his companion instead of his boyfriend and it escalates to "So is it a friend thing or a romantic thing?" And that's literally the one thing that will certainly make Nic snap

Nic threatens Chase with lo-fi music

Chase threatens Nic with "I will flush your wallet down the toilet" "I will throw you into the street" "I will yeet myself out of the window if you do that again"

Chase is the only one that is allowed to carry Nic, but Nic is so tall that Chase is the only one that is actually capable of throwing carrying him

Chase is the one that cooks. Nic thinks it's funny to keep gifting him goofy aprons and yes. Yes it is funny.

Back to the intro scene. Even Sterling knows that Chase is usually a dork. a goofball, if you will. So seeing him fly off the handle in search of pancakes is very concerning. "MY COUSIN LOVES YOU SO PLEASE CALM DOWN SIR--"

Chase will not drink anything that was poured by or opened by someone other than himself. Nic knows this and keeps bottled drinks in the fridge just for Chase as well as juice boxes and Caprisuns because those are pretty hard to tamper with.

"Hey wanna play that new game you got?" "Nic, it's a single-player game." "Yes I would like to watch you play and I can keep an eye out for treasure you miss." (Ten minutes later, "WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP THE SHINY THING IT WAS RIGHT THERE" "NIC MY INVENTORY IS FULL")

Nic constantly having to ask Chase what he's drawing before peeking over his shoulder because Nic is SR ace and Chase draws NSFW stuff for a living

Nic coming home from work going "I got a new plant" "WHERE ARE WE GOING TO PUT THAT WE ALREADY HAVE SO MANY" and then their weekend project is building a new shelf

Chase saying things like "You need a new toothbrush." And Nic is always just like "IF YOU SAY SO???" So Chase just swaps it out with a new one when Nic’s not home.

Chase and Brooke (Nic's twin) having a phase where they are both really into bardcore music and keep playing it around the apartment and they have a bet going to see how long it takes for Nic to break

Nic and Chase know each other so well that they can order for each other without even asking. They just know. There’s never been a single panicked text saying "MAKE SURE YOU GET ME ____" when the other person is getting food. There's complete trust on that front.

Chase gets cold really easily. He chooses to fix this with hugs.

"I found a recipe for Velveeta fudge, can we try it" and Chase just stares at Nic in a brief moment of horror before going "f*ck it we ball" and grabbing his keys to go get the ingredients.

Nic makes it a hobby to find unhinged recipes for Chase to try cooking. Most of them turn out bad but they have fun making them anyways and Chase has a cast iron stomach anyways so nothing really goes to waste

"Hey Chase if I were an animal what animal would I be" "I already told you I'm not drawing you a fursona for free"

Nic going with Chase to the gym just so he can help make sure no one tries to bother him

It's the "Do you think stars have feelings" dynamic except with conspiracy theories instead.

Sorry I had to get that out of my system because I just love my characters so much.

#Zeta Rambles #About the OCs #Minding Q's #Long Post #Nic directly contrasts Sterling’s character arc by the way #Because Sterling is trying to figure out his labels while Nic has made peace with not using labels #Anyways gold star for anyone that got invested enough to read all of that haha

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rayclubs · 5 months

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okay okay who does bodyguard get along with the most (and the least while we're at it)?

OH THAT'S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION but also I'm lowkey terrified because I haven't even touched the idea of my OC interacting with actual canon characters. But. But! Okay, so.

They start out really liking Spy because they have a terrible taste in men. Spy hates their goofy vibes, rancid deodorant, and piss-poor French.

They try to fight Heavy for the first couple of weeks because, well, Heavy's break-in is why they got hired to guard the Administrator in the first place! Heavy, who normally has no moral qualms against fighting his teammates, decides that it's funnier not to do that this one time. Eventually he does concede, and Bodyguard gets their ass handed to them. They become friends after that.

Medic scares the FUCK outta her. It takes a week of continued joint pain for her to even talk to him voluntarily. Next day she gets top surgery.

Scout tries to hit on them and gets threatened at gunpoint immediately. The two of them bond later on account of their dads being assholes.

Soldier is mostly just happy to have someone new to yell at. Nobody tells Bodyguard that Soldier isn't actually in charge, so they spend quite a while thinking that he is. It works out because, save for his rare outbursts, Bodyguard is polite, agreeable, and enjoys little more than being useful.

She thinks Pyro is the coolest little dude and wants to be besties with him. Pyro immediately recognizes her as someone not to fuck with and keeps as much distance as possible. She is very persistent.

(Okay so for some reason Tumblr removed the fucking "edit" button off this post in my drafts? I have to finish it on my computer while on a lunch break and I want to eat frfr so this is gonna be a bit abrupt. Anyway.)

Demo thinks Bodyguard is fun for a teetotaler and wants to get him to try swordfighting. Bodyguard is eager but Miss Pauling won't allow it on account of his godawful anger management skills. She is completely right.

Sniper and Bodyguard exchanged a total of less than ten words for the first month of their acquaintanceship. They are best friends unless it comes to choosing music in the car, then they start cutting throats.

Engie likes them and they like Engie, but honestly, he'd make friends with a rock if it had a pair of darn sad blue eyes on it, so it's not much of an achievement.

To conclude: he gets along best with Soldier and worst with Spy and Pyro, though at no fault of his own. I'll give it more thought and maybe will be back with more headcanons, aye. KEEP THE ASKS COMING they are like food for me and without them I starve.

#the bodyguard #raynswers #tf2 oc

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thewordworrier · 7 months

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A Shot In The Darkest Dark

Word Count: 4,467 words. Notes: ~ Title is from - 'Say Don’t Go' (Taylor's Version) [From The Vault] - from 1989 [Taylor's Version].

It took a little longer, but here's the sort of 'tradition' piece inspired by Taylor's new music! And it so happens to involve her for once. [We'll be back to semi regular Gerard/Shelly content soon XD]

~#~#~#~ Shelly pulled up outside Taylor’s residence, killed the engine and leant back in her seat for a moment.

It wasn’t her first time here, so she wasn’t sure why she felt nervous. She was actually pretty good friends with the singer. All because she had been incredibly fortunate that an opportunity to work with Taylor had fallen into Shelly’s lap. It had been nothing short of a miracle really. And then, more to the point, Taylor had been impressed by her and kept in contact, choosing to use Shelly when she needed someone with her skill set as and when she could, instead of working with someone else. That kinda loyalty? That kinda… Almost endorsement? From someone of Taylor’s status and talent? That was worth its weight in platinum.

But that wasn’t all. The two had become pretty close friends pretty quickly. Which had been a little bizarre for Shelly but also incredibly welcome.

Quite early on in their… Relationship, so to speak. Work relationship and early friendship. Taylor had been the one to notice how ‘un Shelly-like’ she was acting during a job once, had immediately called for a break and pulled Shelly aside to check in on her. Shelly had not been okay that day. Not in the slightest. But she’d been attempting to put on a brave face to get through her work. She thought she’d been doing alright, and for the most part she had been! But she’d accidentally discounted the perceptiveness of Taylor Swift.

Taylor had pulled her aside to somewhere a little more out of the way of everyone else there that day. Once she was sure they were a little more alone, or it was a little more quiet, she’d gently squeezed Shelly’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Shelly glanced at the hand on her shoulder, at the top of her arm, only able to see the perfectly manicured thumbnail. The polish had been a metallic colour that day. Copper maybe? Or some kinda rose gold. Shelly couldn’t really remember that bit; all she could remember was that it was shiny and pretty. Shelly remembered that it wasn’t red, not even a metallic red.

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

Taylor had just given her A Look. “Shelly. You’re not being your usual sunshine self. What’s wrong?” She paused and looked worried for a moment, nibbling her bottom lip. “Have I done something to upset you?”

“You?” Shelly shook her head. “No, god no.”

“That’s good,” she squeezed Shelly’s shoulder again. “If you tell me you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll drop it. I’ll worry, but I’ll drop it. But don’t tell me that you’re okay, because I really don’t believe that you are.”

“No,” Shelly swallowed. “No, I’m not okay. I'm actually really not okay.”

“And that’s okay. You wanna tell me about it?”

She’d be allowed to cry against the singer, leaving dark, bruise-like make-up smudges on Taylor’s collarbones. Not on her shirt - Shelly couldn’t remember at that moment what Taylor had been wearing that day, but she did remember that she didn’t get make-up on it. What she remembered more was the feeling of Taylor hugging her, stroking her hair a little bit and humming soothingly to her.

Shelly sighed and shook her head, still sitting in her car in the driveway. That had been a difficult day. But Taylor had seen that she’d been hiding something and coaxed it right out of her. She’d comforted and looked after her for the rest of the day like a true friend would, not just a… Client? Even though they were a little friendlier than that at the time. But that moment had… Unlocked something. A deeper level of closeness between the two women. It had been a long time since that day and their relationships - business and personal - had just gone from strength to strength.

Her cellphone chimed, making her jump before she rummaged through her purse on the passenger seat to find it. On the screen was a text message alert:

From: 💜 Taylor 💜 Hey, you are still coming today, right? x

Shelly hummed a little and checked her face in the rearview mirror. She frowned, dug around in her bag again before re-applying some lip gloss; pink because red was Taylor’s colour, not hers, no matter how many times Taylor kept telling her that there was a red for everyone. Shelly wasn’t entirely convinced about that, but if one day Taylor sat her down with a stack of red lipsticks and made her try them all - she didn’t think she’d be entirely mad about it. Of course she wouldn’t be mad about it. She was never mad when she was on the receiving end of high levels of personal attention from the singer. Shelly kinda loved all the personal attention, but that was because she had a massive crush on the vocalist, and had done for some time. She just had to keep it very, very quiet because it just wasn’t… It wasn’t professional in one aspect, and she didn’t want to ruin this friendship.

Once she decided that she looked presentable enough (even though she could turn up in loungewear or her pyjamas and Taylor wouldn’t care AND still say that she looked pretty), Shelly grabbed her bag and got out of her car, locking it and walking up the driveway.

The door opened before Shelly even finished making her way up the front steps and she was greeted with the warmest, tightest of hugs.

“Sorry I didn’t reply to your text,” Shelly followed her inside, stepping out of her shoes as she normally did. “I was outside when I got it so I didn’t see the point.”

“That’s okay, I’ll forgive you,” Taylor smiled at her. “But just because you’re so pretty though.”

Shelly chuckled and followed her through the home, quickly being ushered into the cosy main room.

“I figured that I could show you those videos we were talking about and I could paint your nails later?”

Shelly took a second to bite her tongue before deciding ‘screw it.’

“Any excuse to hold my hand Taylor.”

Taylor hoped that Shelly couldn’t see the slight blush that she knew had raced to her cheeks. She cleared her throat. “Go and sit down, I’ll get you something to drink.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Taylor tutted at her playfully before grinning and heading off to the kitchen. Shelly went and settled in her spot on the sofa. Before she had even settled comfortably, she was being investigated by the cats.

“Hey guys,” Shelly hummed at them.

When Taylor returned from gathering drinks and snacks, Shelly was surrounded by her cats. Meredith was settled on the back of the couch near Shelly’s shoulders - ever the aloof loaf but still wanting to be close to the girl. Olivia was resting up against Shelly’s legs and Benjamin was curled up in Shelly’s lap.

“I see you’re trying to steal my cats from me again,” she put the tray down on the table before taking a seat on the other half of the couch Shelly was on.

Olivia looked up at the sound of Taylor’s voice before slowly standing, stretching and padding across the cushions to her. Taylor smiled and fussed the feline.

“It’s not intentional,” Shelly beamed down at the ragdoll in her lap who was purring like a jet engine as he was scratched behind the ears. “Though I might very well run away with this snuggly baby if you’re not careful.”

“He’s a charmer,” Taylor noticed Meredith watching her. “Even Meredith wants to be close to you when you come around Shell. That’s pretty special.”

Shelly looked up from fussing Benjamin, first at Taylor, then over her shoulder slightly to the cat on the back of the sofa. She hummed at Meredith whose ears relaxed at the noise.

“I think it’s because you don’t force her to do anything,” Taylor continued. “You don’t force her to accept affection or anything, you just let her be, so she’s quite happy to just be around you.”

“Cats are so independent,” Shelly said softly. “It’s wrong to treat them like dogs - they’re two completely different species even if humans have domesticated these versions of them.”

“You’re just so pleasant to be around Shell, but I tell you this all of the time.”

“You do,” Shelly almost melted as Benjamin looked up at her with his big blue eyes and mewed. “Oh little man, you can have my whole heart.”

Taylor giggled. “Well, you know he’ll look after it.”

“Mm,” Shelly let the cat in her lap curl his paw around her fingers to drag them back to him - clearly not happy with the fact that she’d stopped petting him. “He doesn’t even use his claws when he does that. He’s such a little gentleman.”

“He’s a good boy. I think his sisters have taught him well.”

“His mom has too I think,” Shelly glanced up at Taylor and flashed her a smile.

“Now who’s the charming one?”

Shelly giggled and the women settled to watch something that Taylor had been saving to show her. She wasn’t sure, but, to Shelly, it felt like Taylor kept getting closer, even with the cats in the way.

Eventually, Taylor got up to either feed the cats or top up their water or… Something. Shelly wasn’t sure - she only half heard the explanation before Taylor stood up and was quite promptly followed by the three felines. The sight of that made Shelly giggle a little bit.

It didn’t take Taylor long to deal with the cats, and Shelly could hear her talking to them before she started to make her way back to where the singer had left her guest, but she made a quick stop first, having had a thought.

Shelly looked up from sipping her drink and tilted her head as Taylor sat back on the sofa - just closer to Shelly than before.

“I also wanted to show you these,” Taylor said, offering Shelly some papers. “I trust you, and I wanted to get your opinion?”

The fact that that last bit actually sounded more like a question, wasn’t lost on Shelly because it was unusual for Taylor to sound that uncertain. In Shelly’s opinion anyway. She gave the singer a small, hopefully reassuring smile before carefully taking the papers from her.

“Sure, I can look these over for you.”

Taylor tried not to watch Shelly as she read the sheets, really she did, but… It was just so difficult. Shelly was so pretty, so sweet, so kind, so genuine. So honest. She genuinely believed that the Brit didn’t give a damn about her fame and fortune. Sure, her fame had caused them to meet, and that was great, but apart from that, Shelly didn’t seem to care? She treated Taylor like a regular, normal, girl next door type. And for that, Taylor was thankful.

Shelly flicked through the papers, holding each one so carefully. And Taylor noticed that. She noticed so much about the way Shelly did things. She used to think that she was just good at observing people but she didn’t think that she’d ever observed anyone to this extent. It was almost like she was obsessed with the blonde. Although that word made it sound almost creepy. Infatuated? Enchanted. Yes. Of course, one of her own titles was perfect for this.

She was just so enchanted with the girl. Shelly was just so, so down to earth, so open and friendly. It was impossible not to like her - Taylor had immediately felt at ease when they’d been introduced the first time. Shelly radiated this aura of… Trust. Of safety. Security. And god, wasn’t that something that Taylor wanted in her life. She had been such an incredible friend to her since they met; she was Taylor’s favourite person to spend time with because Taylor felt like… She didn’t have to hide, she didn’t have to pretend to be someone or something she wasn’t. She didn’t have to live up to whatever reputation the press was giving her that day. She could open the door to Shelly dressed in sweatpants and a huge cardigan with minimal make-up on (because Taylor would always put something on if Shelly was coming over), and Shelly just wouldn’t mind.

Actually, last time she’d done that, Shelly had been so enamoured with the cardigan Taylor’d been wearing, Taylor had tried to take it off to give it to her. But Shelly, bless her, hadn’t taken it. She’d just taken the details so she could look up where to maybe get her own. Though, Taylor had suspected that Shelly would never buy her own, as it had been a little expensive and Shelly would never spend that kind of money on one item like that. She was... Practical? That way. Which is why Taylor had purchased one for her, in a different colour to her own that she knew Shelly would like. She had been thoroughly scolded for that though; you don’t need to buy me things Taylor. You know I’m not like that. But, ultimately, she’d taken the gift with some gentle coaxing; unfolding it carefully and stroking the material as she’d done so before trying it on. And the colour had looked better on her than Taylor had imagined.

“That looks great on you Shell,” Taylor had taken her hand and pulled her over to a full length mirror, standing next to her so they could look at themselves in their almost matching cardigans. “Lavender is perfect on you.”

Shelly had gone a pretty shade of pink, turned away from the mirror and hugged Taylor quite tightly.

“You’re terrible,” she’d said, affectionately. “But thank you.”

She couldn’t help but want to buy her things - she wanted to look after the shorter woman, she wanted to treat her right. Even if Shelly was a little bit against Taylor spending her money on her. But, again, that was such a point in Shelly’s favour - she really wasn’t in this relationship for the financial benefits. She wasn’t even in it for a link for fame - she was quite shy, even in a professional capacity. Taylor remembered when they’d been introduced. Shelly had been so, so shy then. She’d been introduced with a compliment about her work and she’d said; “oh, I’m not sure about that personally, but thank you,” before extending her hand for a handshake. Sweet, shy, humble and professional.

Taylor had been smitten from the start.

“Shelly.”

She looked up to see Taylor looking at her, pretty intently, which was a little strange. It took another moment for Shelly to notice that Taylor had moved closer. “Mm?”

“I…” She paused and then sighed. “I want to say something, and I hope it doesn’t make you hate me.”

Shelly frowned and when she spoke, her voice was soft and gentle. “I doubt there’s anything you could do that would cause me to hate you, Taylor.”

“Oh my god,” it was more a soft whisper than an angry exclamation or anything. “Why are you…” Taylor shook her head. “Why is this so hard? I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to say this for… I think weeks.”

“Weeks?” Shelly’s eyebrows rose, she moved the papers to the coffee table, and she leant forward to rest her hands over Taylor’s. “Is everything alright? Whatever it is, you can tell me, you know. You don’t have to use a metaphor or anything. Sometimes plain and simple is best in the moment.”

Taylor looked up at her and Shelly grinned.

“We can always workshop it later into something more elaborate,” Shelly said.

Taylor giggled and shook her head slowly with a smile. “Are you ever just… Not amazing?”

“All the time,” Shelly squeezed Taylor's hand and sat up properly.

“I don’t believe that.”

“You should.”

They fell quiet for a moment.

“Do you ever just…”

Shelly tilted her head as Taylor started speaking and then trailed off. She waited, choosing not to push the other woman.

“You know that you should do - or say - something because it’ll probably be good for you, but it’s a brand new thing and you’re just really nervous about it?” Taylor continued. “Like, you know it might not end well, but you know it won’t be too terrible but you’re still…”

“Scared?” Shelly offered, watching Taylor nod. “Yeah, all the time. That’s pretty normal.”

“Mm,” Taylor nodded again, slowly before swallowing.

“You don’t need to be scared of me, or around me Taylor,” Shelly almost whispered. “I’m not gonna judge you for anything - you know that. And I’m not gonna tell anyone. I’ll take it to my grave if you need me to.”

“Oh, I know!” She said hurriedly. “I just…”

Shelly looked up at her with those big, blue eyes and she smiled - though Taylor swore there was a hint of shyness in it this time. Her eyes sparkled, they always sparkled like she knew more than she was letting on and most of the time Taylor believed that really was true. She also hoped that this was a similar case - she hoped that Shelly knew what she was trying to say. Maybe if Taylor willed it hard enough, Shelly could just… Finished the sentence for her?

That didn’t happen, much to Taylor’s disappointment. Though, Taylor was never that disappointed wherever Shelly was involved.

“No pressure,” Shelly said softly, reaching over to pat Taylor’s knee affectionately and encouragingly. “If you can’t find the words now, that’s okay too. Just blurt it out whenever you can, yeah?”

Taylor just nodded, almost dumbly, getting another of Shelly’s cute smiles in response before the other woman turned back to the papers, reaching for them to start flicking through them again.

“Taylor,” Shelly started quietly as she continued looking through everything. “These are so…”

Taylor nibbled her bottom lip, curious about what she was going to say.

“You’re so talented,” Shelly finished, just as quietly, letting out a soft sigh. “These are so beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you are.”

Shelly blinked rapidly at her before giggling. She felt a little nervous for some reason, and she was sure that she was blushing. And if she wasn’t blushing then she was starting to; she could feel it.

Taylor could see it - a delightful dusting of pink was now covering the blonde’s face.

“Seriously,” Taylor continued. “You are so beautiful. You’re just so cute.”

Shelly ducked her head a little bit and shook it. “Nuh.”

“Mm hm!”

“I disagree, quite a lot,” Shelly mumbled, shuffling the papers again, attempting to go back to those.

“And you’re allowed to disagree with me,” Taylor said. “But, that would also mean that you’re gonna be wrong. And that’s okay! We’re all wrong at some point.”

Shelly glanced up at the singer, raising an eyebrow slightly. “Oh, really?”

Taylor just smiled at Shelly. “I mean, you’re not wrong a lot, really. So that makes it extra okay if you’re wrong about this.”

“Taylor,” Shelly sighed. “I say this with all the affection, but, you’re a dork.”

Taylor laughed and shuffled closer, leaning her chin against Shelly’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around the other woman. “Maybe I am!”

“Hey, I never said that I’d change you,” Shelly gently (oh so gently!) hit her forehead against Taylor’s and smiled as she felt the singer squeeze her. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Taylor squeezed her again and sat up straighter. “Are you sure about that? You don’t think I’m problematic?”

Shelly snorted and shook her head. “No, you’re not problematic. We both know the media loves to drag women for doing the same shit men do.”

“Double standards,” Taylor agreed with a nod and a roll of her eyes.

“But I don’t think you’re problematic. And I definitely wouldn’t change a thing.”

Taylor felt herself melt. “I wouldn’t change a thing about you, either. Shell, you’re perfect.”

Shelly went from pink to red and shook her head slowly. “I really don’t agree with you, but…”

She paused and Taylor tilted her head as she waited.

“But,” Shelly whispered. “It really is a massive honour that you think that.”

“Oh Shelly… My opinion isn’t that special.”

“It is!” Shelly started, a little louder than normal. She winced a little at that volume and cleared her throat softly before she continued but much more quietly. “Um. At least, it is to me.”

“And you’re that special. To me.”

Shelly blinked rapidly for a second and tilted her head in that cute way she did. She reminded Taylor very much of one of her cats. Which was also quite fitting, as Taylor knew that Shelly was a Leo. And god, she really looked like one.

Well, she didn’t look… Horrified or anything. She looked more curious than anything. That was… Good.

“You are,” Taylor continued, swallowing quickly. “You really are. You are so special, and I hate that you can’t see how wonderful you are.”

Shelly’s expression softened and she looked away shyly.

“I mean,” Taylor moved closer; their thighs were touching now. “Of course you are. All of my cats like you! Meredith always ends up sitting near you and pretty much always has done. It didn’t take her long to warm up to being around you. You just have that kinda effect on people Shell. It’s like magic.”

Something about that, about all of Taylor’s words, really softened Shelly. Maybe it wasn’t the words, per say, maybe it was more to do with who was saying them. It was pretty much impossible to feel bad about yourself when Taylor was in your circle of friends. Hell, it was pretty much impossible to feel bad about yourself when Taylor was around - she didn’t even have to be your friend.

Taylor watched Shelly avoid making eye contact at that - she had never been good at taking compliments, but at least nowadays she rebutted them less. She just stayed quiet instead, which was a step. And, most of the time, Taylor had noticed that when she was the one giving out the compliment, Shelly would go a little bit shy and end up with a small, sweet smile on her pretty face. That was an expression Taylor wanted to see much more often.

“I have feelings for you, Shelly.”

That made the shorter woman sit up a bit straighter and when she looked at the singer, it was with wide eyes. It took her a little longer than she would’ve liked to remember that there were more feelings in the world than romantic ones. She needed to not read too much into this.

“Well,” Shelly said, her tone clearly cautious. “We’re good friends. There’s gonna be those kinda feelings there.”

“That’s… Not quite what I meant,” Taylor smiled kindly at her. She could almost see her brain working, actually.

“Um…” Shelly nipped her bottom lip. “I… I don’t…”

Taylor almost held her breath.

“I don’t want to assume,” Shelly finished, noticing the singer’s shoulders relax. “I don’t want to put words in your mouth.”

“Shelly…” Taylor sighed softly and shook her head. “C’mere.”

She gently grasped Shelly’s chin just to hold her still for a moment before she leant forward and pressed her red lipstick covered lips against Shelly’s pink lipgloss covered ones. It was just one kiss, just to get her point across. When Taylor moved back Shelly looked quite surprised.

“I… Oh!”

Taylor giggled and hummed for a moment. “I mean, if I’ve read you wrong, then we can pretend that this never happened.”

“No!” Shelly answered before going pink at the speed of her reply. “Um. I mean… Are you sure?”

This time it was Taylor’s turn to tilt her head in question.

“I mean, this might blow up in your incredibly pretty face when the press gets a hold of it?” Shelly bit her bottom lip. “I don’t want to cause problems for you.”

“How?”

“I mean…” Shelly shifted a little in her spot. “When it gets out, because it will, it’ll not only be a case of ‘oh look another relationship’ but also a sort of ‘oh she plays for both teams’ kinda thing?”

“I’m not… I’m not worried about that,” Taylor shook her head. “Unless… Would it bother you, being in the press like that?”

Shelly waved that off. “I don’t mind. I really am more worried about you.”

“You’re so good Shell,” Taylor tucked some of Shelly’s hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. “You’re so considerate.”

Shelly’s eyes flickered down to the slightly less perfect lipstick. “I try to be.”

“And I’d really like to try… Well, us? If that’s okay with you. If I have been reading you right, I don’t think you’re totally against the idea.”

“If that’s -?” Shelly giggled. “Yes, yes that’s very okay with me. I’m not against the idea in the slightest.”

Taylor let out the biggest sigh of relief ever, which found itself accompanied by a soft laugh. That little noise made Shelly smile and sort of nestle against the hand still cupping her cheek. A moment of braveness overtook her and she hooked her finger in the neckline of Taylor’s t-shirt, gently pulling her forward so Shelly could kiss her this time.

That took Taylor a little by surprise, but she leant into it very quickly, sliding her hand around to tangle her fingers in Shelly’s hair, while Shelly’s fingers gripped the front of her t-shirt, having unhooked from the neckline as soon as their lips had touched. And as soon as that happened, as soon as their lips touched, Taylor sighed happily and slid her other arm around Shelly’s waist so she could pull her closer. Not that pulling her closer took much effort because Shelly more than happily shuffled as close to Taylor as she could. She let go of Taylor’s t-shirt and wrapped both of her arms around the singer instead.

Every time one of them tried to pull away for a moment, the other would stop them, either by gently tugging on their clothes to bring them back closer, or by ‘chasing’ after them. It was after Taylor had done this, again, that Shelly giggled softly against Taylor’s lips, making the singer smile. She pulled away as Shelly’s giggling got a little louder and just beamed at the shorter blonde.

“Now, what’s got you making such a pretty noise?”

Shelly nibbled her bottom lip, trying not to grin too widely. “No, I can’t, you’ll hate me.”

Taylor snorted. “Hate you? Never.”

“It’s awful.”

“I doubt it,” she took Shelly’s hands and squeezed them. “Go on.”

Shelly hesitated for a moment before letting out a soft sigh. “Okay, okay.”

Taylor tilted her head, waiting.

“My brain just said,” Shelly paused again. “Well, I guess... That’s how you get the girl.”

#She Speaks #She Writes #my writing #Taylor Swift fanfic #Taylor Swift x FOC

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ericaand · 2 years

Text

Waking Up with Joe Quinn

Word Count: 1500+

Warnings: NONE. Complete and utter fluff.

"Ah, Miss Y/L/N, back so soon. What can I get you?"

"Yeah, it's been a crazy night." You say, kicking the length of your stupidly long dress. "This time, can I just have a shot of your best rum?"

The bartender raised an eyebrow and nodded, as he poured your shot. He delicately placed it in front of your body atop the bar.

You smiled and took the tiny glass; shooting it back and allowing the smooth liquid to give you the burn you needed in the back of your throat to boost your confidence just a bit. You smiled as you set the glass down and glanced at your dress again, with annoyance this time. Why would I choose the most difficult dress to walk in for my first event?

You grasp the rhinestone-laden material in your hand and gently lift it upward, just enough to assure you won't trip on your way back to your seat. As you weaved your way through the tables and chairs filled with people you never thought you'd meet, you noticed that your vision was getting slightly off. Lines weren't as straight and the floor seemed to be a million miles away.

Luckily, you were waived over by your castmates and you continued on your journey back to your seat. As you were seated, your eye scanned the table of your castmates; all were looking at the stage except for one: Joe.

He smiled and gave a nod, to which you smiled. You'd grown close to him, working so closely on set, and now you felt like you could truly call him a friend. As the show went on and awards were won, you attempted to fit in; clap when everyone else did, laugh on cue and even attempt to be sad when really this was one of the best days of your life so far.

Everyone began to walk out and you stood to hug the castmates goodbye, but ended up tripping over the leg of the chair. To your luck, Joe was nearby (awaiting for a hug assumably) and was able to catch you before it was a complete face plant.

"Ay love, you alright?" He looked with concern.

"I'm...fine." You said with a scrunched face and a waving hand.

"Don't think so, I can smell ya from 'ere." He whispered. "C'mon, let's get ya out of here before anyone notices. Don't want your first awards show to be your last now, hmm?"

He grabbed your small clutch and situated it snuggly into the crook of your arm. He proceeded to reach his arm around your waist and guide your arm around his back. As you two walked out, he assured that you didn't stumble or make a fool of yourself. As you were walking your way through the flashes of light, you wondered what the headlines would read tomorrow. Probably something about you and Joe as an item.

Obviously, you'd thought about it before, but never intensely. It crossed your mind a time or two, but other than that you just assumed he was a good friend; which he clearly was.

"Here. This is us." He said while opening the door. You grasped his open hand and allowed him to gently guide you into the car. As you settled into your seat, he went around the other side and got in himself. He reached over your body and pulled the seat belt over your lap and chest.

"Oh, thanks." You gave a sloppy smile.

The ride was fairly silent, thankfully the music was on. When you arrived at the hotel, you begged Joe to let you stop by the vending machine. He giggled and obliged. You happily got your snacks and began walking toward the elevator.

"Do you remember where your room is?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's..." You looked around and then to the ground. "Actually, no. And, I don't have my key either. I gave it to Natalia to hold."

"You know, I don't know how they do it. Like, how is someone supposed to live on a meal that only consists of four bites of food? No wonder they're all so damn skinny." You say while stuffing your mouth with a Hostess Cupcake.

He chuckled. "Well, if you'd like you're welcome to stay with me. I got a suite; it's got a kitchen and all."

You nodded and began to follow him into the elevator. You swayed over to the corner and leaned on the golden handlebars that lined the elevator walls. After pressing the button, Joe joined you. As he peered over at you, he raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth. You happily gave in and gave him the last bite of your cupcake. To which he winked as a thank you.

"Here we are," he said as he lifted his arm towards the door. You followed him through the modern halls adorned with abstract artwork, and a carpet pattern that made you nauseous.

He pulled his key from his wallet and swiped it over the little black square, which turned the little light green. He opened the door and waved you in.

The first thing to be noticed was the large floor-to-ceiling windows that covered the entire back wall of the room. To the left was a modern and sterile bathroom, with a kitchen that followed.

Then, you gained some sort of consciousness in realizing there was only one bed. Sure, there were two armchairs but there's no way either of you was going to make that work.

"I'm going to go get changed, and you can put these on. That dress is gorgeous but doesn't look comfortable at all" he said throwing a white tee shirt and pair of boxers your way.

He made his way to the bathroom, but you didn't begin undressing until you heard the lock click into place. You leaned against the kitchen counter, raised your foot, and began to unbuckle the tiny clasps of your heels. As one heel had almost come off, you began to feel very dizzy and decided it'd be best to lower yourself to the floor.

You closed your eyes and leaned your head against the cabinet, and attempted to fumble with the clasps once again. You groaned as you couldn't figure out why the prong wasn't coming out of the hole. You suddenly felt cold hands on your ankle, fumbling with the clasp giving you such a hard time.

"Mmmm" you let out with a giggle and a smile.

"Other foot, darling" he said as he tapped his hand on your thigh.

You lifted your foot from underneath you and gently rested it in his hands. He gathered your shoes and threw them into a corner of the room. He ran his hands from your shoulders to your hands, grasping them firmly.

"Up you go now. Gotta get out of this", as he gently helped you stand.

He placed your hands on his shoulders and reached behind you to unzip your long zipper. Your eyes still closed, and your head and hands resting on his shoulders.

As he finished the final part of the zipper, the dress began to fall to the ground, leaving you in just your underwear. With one arm you firmly held your boobs, while the other searched behind you for the counter. You opened your eyes to find Joe gently guiding you back to the counter to lean on, while grabbing the shirt behind you.

"You okay"? He asked. You nodded. He gathered your dress from the ground and walked to the closet to hang it up. You turned so your back was now toward him and guided the shirt on your bare body.

"Come on now, let's make it to the bed, shall we"? He asked, taking your hand and guiding you to the side of the bed that was still made. It was obvious that he had slept on the other side.

He pulled back the blankets and patted the bed with a smile. You sunk into the marshmallow mattress, as he propped up a few pillows behind your back and head.

Joe left the room, and when he returned he had two water bottles and the remote in his hand. You smiled as the bed began to dip next to you.

"Drink up, or you'll be feeling absolute shit tomorrow." He hands you a water bottle. He turns on the TV and begins to scroll through the channels, attempting to find something that both of you can enjoy.

You slump down a little further and land with your head on his chest, finding the soothing sounds of his heartbeat. Joe guides his hand around your shoulders and gently pats one side.

You feel the sun gently warming your skin as you blink your eyes open. The ceiling looks different than what you recall your room looking like. You turn your head to the right, and notice Joe sleeping as peacefully as possible. You feel a small smile form on your lips.

As you pull the covers over your shoulder more, it disturbs him. He rubs his eyes and stretches his arms out wide. He glances in your direction and smiles.

"Good morning, beautiful. How you feelin?"

#joseph quinn #joe quinn #joe #joseph #quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn fic

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shipskicksandgiggles · 2 years

Note

It's SO difficult to choose but I'm going with #26 for miscellaneous dialogue prompts pt. 2

so fun fact, I'm terrified of birds. have been ever since an incident with a chicken when I was a toddler. imagine, when to my horror, I walk into work to the news that we have a duck now

anyways, that's where this prompt is from

prompt: “There’s a duck.” “You have got to be kidding me.” (from this list)

Read Like a Duck Out of Water here on ao3

~~~

Steve answered the door the way he always did when there was a frantic knocking: with his bat in hand, hidden just behind the door frame.

“Dustin?”

“Steve, thank God you’re here. We need your help.”

“You could have called first, you know.”

“Sorry, it was faster to just come straight here than to find a phone first.”

“Fine. What do you need my help with?”

“There’s a duck.”

He paused. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“I’m not! We found a duck and we don’t know what to do.”

“Just to clarify,” Steve said, taking a deep breath, “this is a real duck? And not some Upside Down creature disguised as a duck?”

“That was one time, Steve.”

“One time is more than enough to make me doubt any claims you have about animals. Is it a real duck or not?”

Then Eddie popped out next to Dustin. “It’s a real duck, Harrington.”

That would explain the “we” Dustin mentioned. “Nope, you’re too new to this, I don’t trust your judgment with potential creatures from the Upside Down. I need one of the girls to verify. Preferably El or Nancy, but I’ll accept Max’s opinion.”

Robin stepped into view with a frown. “What about me?”

Steve gave her a look. “Really?”

She conceded. “Okay, whose place are we closest to so we can pick them up on the way?

“Max is technically closest to where the duck is, and she’s having a girl’s day with El,” Dustin said.

They all stared at him.

“What? I like to know people’s schedules in case I need them. Which is clearly coming in handy right now, so let’s get a move on people. Steve, you’re driving.”

“Didn’t Eddie drive you here?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, and I like being alive, so you’re driving.”

Robin nodded. “I call shotgun,” she said, already moving towards his car.

“Damn it,” Dustin muttered. “Steve, come on, let’s go!”

He grabbed his keys from the table by the door and turned to Eddie. “A duck?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. See you at the trailer park.”

~~~

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into Eddie’s driveway, and Dustin ran across the street to knock on Max’s door. The ride there didn’t provide any more answers for Steve, as Dustin and Robin refused to explain before he saw the bird for himself.

Eddie had gotten there before they did, so he was already waiting for them.

“How far is this duck, because I cannot fit this many people in my car,” Steve said.

“We can walk there,” Eddie told him. “It’s not like we went out looking for birds.”

“Yeah, that’s another question I’ve been meaning to ask since you showed up on my doorstep. What were you doing? I can tell you right now the idea of the three of you hanging out without supervision scares me a little.”

“Actually it was just me and Eddie hanging out,” Robin corrected. “Dustin just showed up unannounced because he found a duck.”

“That somehow doesn’t make me feel better about this dynamic,” Steve sighed.

“Did you not know Robin and I are actually friends without you present?” Eddie asked.

“I’m allowed to have more adult friends than just you, Steve. Plus, Eddie understands things that you never will.”

“If it’s about band, I’m sorry I’m not musically gifted like the rest of you, but I’m trying, okay?”

“Steve.” She gave him a meaningful look.

“Oh. Oh! Not band then, sorry. That’s cool.”

Robin shook her head exasperatedly while Eddie just stared.

“That’s cool, Harrington?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

He looked him up and down. “No reason. Glad to see you’re fine with this.”

Steve smiled, but before he could respond, Dustin was running back with El and Max in tow.

“Dustin said something about a duck?” El asked the rest of the group.

“We should probably let him lead the way, Els Bells,” Eddie said, ruffling her hair. “He seems pretty eager for the rest of us to see it.”

She beamed up at him, but the moment didn’t last. Dustin was all but herding them towards the woods.

“What’s so important about this duck anyway?” Max asked.

“She’s nowhere near water, I’m worried about her,” Dustin explained.

“Did you check to make sure it wasn’t a kind of duck that can live out of water?” Steve asked.

Half the group stopped to look at him.

“What?”

“Did you not pay attention in science class? Ducks can’t live without water for long periods of time, dipshit,” Dustin said.

Steve sighed. “Watch your language or you’re walking home, Henderson.”

“Eddie, back me up here.”

“In King Steve’s defense, that’s not common knowledge Dustybun. Be respectful.”

“Since when do you side with him? Asshole.”

“Henderson!” Steve barked.

“Oh my god, fine. If we’re done asking stupid questions, she should be right up ahead.”

Dustin ran ahead with El, Max, and Robin in tow. Eddie however hung back with Steve.

“Don’t listen to Dustin, that really isn’t common knowledge.”

“Yeah, I know. Half the shit he says isn’t really common knowledge, I just don’t think he knows that.”

“That still doesn’t make it okay for him to talk to you like that.” Eddie frowned. “If you want, I could always make him roll with a negative modifier during our next campaign.”

“Don’t do that, he doesn’t deserve anything that extreme. Maybe just throw in a few extra twists that’ll annoy him.”

Eddie blinked. “Do you understand D&D?”

He realized he may have made a crucial mistake. “What? No?”

“No, but you do, don’t you? You know what a negative modifier is.”

“Fine, fine, so maybe I picked up on a thing or two, so what?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you keeping that to yourself?” Eddie asked. “The kids would be overjoyed if you understood what they were talking about. Dustin probably wouldn’t even call you dumb anymore. Which you aren’t, by the way if I hadn’t said. Even before I knew you knew about D&D I knew you were smart.”

Steve shook his head. “It’s dumb.”

“D&D is not dumb,” he said. “I thought we just went over this.”

“No, the reason I haven’t told anyone is dumb.”

“Oh,” Eddie said quietly. “What’s the reason?”

“It’s just…” Steve let out a long breath. “I don’t understand everything yet. I only know bits and pieces, and unless I know everything, or at least enough to keep up with you without stopping to ask questions, it’s not enough.”

By now they could hear the kids yelling for them in the distance. They must have found the duck.

Neither of them moved. Eddie was staring at him, slack jawed.

“Are you kidding me, Harrington?”

“What?”

“Oh my god, if you seriously believe that, all the kids are rolling with negative modifiers for a year. The fact that you’re willing to learn about their interests should already be enough.”

He turned away and started walking towards the voices of their friends. “Eddie, I’m not like you, okay? Those kids worship you because you’re a genius and you play your little nerd game with them. I have to work a little bit harder at that sort of thing, and I don’t want them to think I’m dumber than I am.”

“Woah, hey, Steve, stop. Those kids adore you. Talk about worship, holy shit, all I heard for a month after meeting them was ‘Steve this’ and ‘Steve that’. They love you so much, and they don’t think you’re dumb. They might make fun of you for being the former jock that’s into nerd shit now, but that’s all it is.”

Steve looked at him doubtfully.

“Here, if it’ll make you feel better, I can tutor you in how to play.”

“You’d do that?”

“Sure, why not?” Eddie shrugged. “Even if you never join a campaign, you’ll be able to understand it better than just sitting off to the side and learning that way.”

“Okay. Cool, yeah we can do that. How’s Friday?”

“Friday’s good. Say 7?”

“It’s a date,” Steve agreed. “Should I just come over to your place?”

“Sure.”

“Should I bring anything?”

“Just yourself, pretty boy. Maybe flowers if you’re feeling particularly romantic.”

“Got it. A mix of sunflowers and black roses it is.”

Before Eddie could say anything else, likely a snarky comment about sunflowers being too bright for his freakishness, someone else cleared their throat.

Max stood in front of them with a truly impressive raised eyebrow. “If you two are done flirting, El confirmed that it really is a duck, and Dustin will murder you both if you don’t come help get her back to the nearest body of water.”

“Christ Red, we’re coming,” Eddie said, casting one last look towards Steve before pushing past her towards where Dustin could still be heard shouting.

He and Max stared at each other for a few more seconds before Steve sighed. “Not a word, Mayfield.”

“Whatever dad. You don’t deserve him, by the way.”

“Don’t think I don’t know that.” Then he paused. “Did you just call me dad?”

She turned on her heel and started walking away. “The duck, Steven!”

“Oh my god, fine, but we’re talking about this later.”

#ellis writes #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve harrington x eddie munson #getting together #little bit of angst #fluff and hurt/comfort #fluff #sarah tag #stranger things

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deadcactuswalking · 6 months

Text

Top 20 Best Hit Songs of 2023

If I were doing this how I did it in the past, I would be looking at the Billboard Year-End Hot 100 and giving you my 10 favourite songs, as always, but I’m not doing that for several reasons: the Hot 100 is less representative of anything ever than it’s ever been, and my #1 hit song of the year in the US is “Ella Baila Sola” by Eslabon Armado and Peso Pluma. There are songs that charted in the top 40 I like more but in terms of prolonged hits expected to solidly make the year-end list, it’s not even close. There is so much unbridled joy in that one song it is almost unimaginable that I’d consider any other hit song from this year above it. It would be silly to find another nine songs that even try to compare. Genuinely. So let’s do it this way: I’ve started writing in mid-October because here in the UK we basically will just have a month of nothing and then Christmas for the rest of the year. My criteria for this is the song has to have peaked in the top 40 of the UK Singles Chart sometime this year before I write this list, specifically around the episode dated 14th October I’ll stop counting entries for this list. I’ll consider songs that end up peaking later this year for next year’s list, I think, and that may be arbitrary but I'm literally playing to Billboard's rules for their year-end this year, because why not be as ridiculous as they allow themselves to be? Why did I choose the UK? Well, it’s what I cover every week on this blog and don’t tell the Americans but their charts are so much less interesting when it comes the diversity and sheer quality of songs on display, a disparity I noticed especially this year. Otherwise, it’s as simple as that - did it make the top 40? Did I like it a lot? It’s on the list. Did I miss some stuff? Probably. Who cares? It’s my list. I’m deadcactuswalking, and these are the best hit songs of the year.

LIFE GOES ON: The Top 20 Best Hit Songs of 2023

Npw, how will this work? Well, I have 20 songs I want to talk about in some decent-length capacity, but I don’t want this to be overlong and I have a crap ton of honourable mentions and just things to get out of the way. I have reviewed every single one of these songs at length during my weekly REVIEWING THE CHARTS series and I want this to act as a more concise representation of the popular music I loved this year. This will not be nearly as in-depth as my 2006 list from this Summer or my previous hit songs lists, mostly because well, this is more of a round-up or compilation compared to those lists, which tended to have opinions I hadn’t shared so boldly prior to the list’s publication.

Also, some ground rules: the song has to have been released in late 2021 at the minimum, or at least be defined more by its status as a hit in 2023 than by its status as an older song in one’s catalogue that happened to resurge in the year of old songs re-emerging. This means that songs too indebted to previous years are not counted for this list, even if they hit the UK Top 40 this year. This means that despite them being great songs that had a solid chance at the list, I will not be including “What’s Love Got to Do with It” by Tina Turner, “STAY” by The Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber (which I talked about at length in my 2021 year-end list), Luke Combs’ cover of “Fast Car” - if this were a Hot 100 list, I’d be more lenient with this one - Taylor Swift’s re-recording of “Enchanted” or, most crucially, “See You Again” by Tyler, the Creator featuring Kali Uchis which would have probably topped the list if it weren’t from 2017. You could argue it was only a hit this year but let’s be completely honest with ourselves, it’s not representative of any other 2023 trend than “old songs becoming big”. It’s not sincere to consider it a “hit song of 2023”, at least in my opinion, but I understand why people would vary on that. Now that’s out of the way, I mean, we may as well get started - there are a ton of honourable mentions so I’ll try and spread them out vaguely evenly but I may just disperse them at random. You’re not my mother, you can’t tell me what to do. Again, it’s my list - and I am very aware how… concerning some of these choices may be. This first one, though, should be pretty uncontroversial.

#20

I mean, obviously, right?

#20 - “Escapism.” - RAYE featuring 070 Shake (Peak: #1)

I almost considered not including this just to be a contrarian, because I imagine this will pop up on damn near every year-end hit songs list you see, but that would be denying this excellent song its rightful spot here. Everything has been said about it but deservedly so. It was an incredible moment for a newly independent RAYE, and a narrative triumph as well as being a really maximalist hit in a time where you wouldn’t really expect this outside of critical-darling circles. From the siren motif to the dark, embedded trip-hop drums, the song finds that perfect reach between organic release and immaculate composition, to the point where it’s almost too perfect. There are so many tiny hooks and they all originate in a deeply-ridden trauma that envelops the song but never halts its momentum. Hell, that may be its appeal - it keeps on chugging, with that infectious piano line, incredibly wordy pre-choruses and borderline rap verses, a sprinkling of synth detail. Even that main break of the chorus feels like it’s building up to a goal never found, muddied in 070 Shake’s pained yelps surrounding an otherwise completely numbed-out, almost demo vocal delivery. That isn’t a moment of relief or realisation, and neither is the storm that succeeds it. She doesn’t want to feel like she did that night, but she will, and she knows it, whether it’s because of her lack of agency or the cruel decadent catharsis that leads to it. It’s a cyclical party of sorrow, and one intricately composed and presented. Why isn’t it higher if it’s so perfect? I don’t know, I think I just take solace in the scuffed. This next one is also a song I think may just be too perfect as a narrative experience to be higher.

#19

Afrobeats hits are generally very good, but few go far and beyond like this one did for me, and it got all the success it deserved.

#19 - “People” - Libianca (Peak: #2)

Cameroonian singer Libianca broke out with something so subdued you’d be pretty surprised to think of it as what it was: a global smash breakout sleeper hit. There’s a cozy intimacy to found in the distance of this song, a track that seems to want to push you off as much as it wants to vent to you, out of a desperacy where the mental health issues are disguised for the sake of just fitting into the world of people: nameless and endless faces, where even the closest to you are too pre-occupied to notice those small details like how much alcohol their friend’s been drinking for the past five days. In a year where we increasingly feel completely separated from our fellow human, I think this hit pretty hard for a lot of people. It’s also an oddly celebratory song in some ways - you could see the backing vocals as a ghostly choir haunting Libianca, who tampers with the idea of her own grave through these looming thoughts, or you could see them as those “people”, who don’t really know you, still being there and existing in a way where their presence may just be enough to keep you going. On a more purely sonic level, it’s a smooth as Hell track with a compelling emotive performance and one of the catchiest yet most depressive hooks of the year, one that ends without much satisfying resolve, probably much like the narrative on display. I don’t know if we’ll hear much more from Libianca on the singles chart, at least in Britain, but this was for sure a fantastic first impression. Now to talk about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

#18

Can I legally do this? Like am I really allowed to put this over “Escapism.” or does this count as disturbing the peace?

#18 - “Oh Baby” - Nathan Dawe and Bru-C featuring bshp and Issey Cross (Peak: #35)

How this wasn’t like the biggest song ever is completely unknown to me. This has so many dumb hooks it’s ridiculous, it’s almost overwhelming. Maybe we were a tad too self-serious this year for this to get to the top 10? Regardless, it was still a hit, and one that just seems to take as many chances to be catchy as possible, which is what a… “star”-studded 2-step track needs to be. I knew I liked this from the moment I heard that stupid intro ad-lib “and it’s Bru-C” just because I knew I was in for a chaotic level of fun, but as I kept replaying this, finding more hooks in Bru-C’s simplistic bars that would absolutely rock a club even if they don’t sound impressive in recorded format, and finding more intricacies in the usually lazy Nathan Dawe’s production, with that futuristic bass, robotic “oh, baby” sample that gets manipulated in so many different ways, him having too much fun with his sound effects board and some of the tightest and honestly best drum programming I’ve heard in any song this year, hit or not. Issey Cross and bshp have a childish charm in their incessant chorus and especially that bizarrely transcendent bridge, and Bru-C just never shuts his mouth, which is absolutely what this song needed: the most annoying person at the function.

Honourable Mentions

What I’m going to do with these Honourable Mentions is I’ll split them four ways between genren - hip-hop, pop and R&B, EDM and everything else - and we’ll start with hip-hop. This was not a great year for rap in the mainstream, but the UK felt this much less than the US and there were still some highlights, such as:

“Sprinter” and “Trojan Horse” - Dave and Central Cee

These guys had more fun in that four-song EP than most dance hits had this year.

“PARK CHINOIS” - K-Trap and Headie One

One thing that got lost sometime before this year about UK drill was that it could be genuinely menacing, and I was glad to see a subtle version of that return here.

“It’s Crazy” - J Hus

This is the less subtle version. J Hus plays maniac serial killer surprisingly well.

“Martin’s Sofa” - Headie One

Headie One is generally a step above the rest but this was one of drill’s shining moments this year. There is actually only one British rap song in this top 20 proper, which kind of surprised me, but that’s not to downplay the annual achievements of the genre.

“On the Radar Freestyle” - Drake and Central Cee

Like its first Hot 100 hit! Okay, it’s because of Drake but hey, Drake wasn’t bad this year.

“First Person Shooter” - Drake featuring J. Cole

Cole was better but I promise, Drake still wasn’t bad this year. And that’s actually all of the hip-hop Honourable Mentions we have. Yeah, it really wasn’t this genre’s year. Oh, crap, I forgot about this one:

“Barbie World” - Nicki Minaj, Ice Spice and Aqua

I am pretty sure this is the worst song of all time. I love it. Back to the list.

#17

Listen, Minecraft YouTubers: let’s let bygones be bygones.

#17 - “Call Me What You Like” - Lovejoy (Peak: #32)

Wilbur Soot and co tend to work best when nothing is left unturned, all awkward and insecure details being revealed with little care for how the song actually functions outside of a killer chorus. Much of their EP consisted of these wonky but ultimately heavy anthems tapping into a modern British anxiety, wherein every misplaced drum fill, bizarre lyrical idea, it was all kind of a front for some of the catchiest riffs and most cathartic hooks in emo since the 2000s. There are several elements of this song I think I just hate, mostly from Wilbur himself, but he delivers it with as much uncertainty and loathing as I have towards him - it’s a pitiful song wherein neither a gruff yell or falsetto can outshadow a rolicking chorus’ raw energy. His dumbass newscaster voice as he details how much he hates this joyless relationship just furthers the frustration I have with this guy for being as pathetic as he is. Oh, and it does the classic pop punk final-chorus-drops-into-half-time trick which works absolutely every time. “I’m not paranoid, I’m a realist” is a line that made me hate to relate as much as I do to a Goddamn Minecraft YouTuber indie rock song but hey, we all need our angst outlet from somewhere. And for a good amount of the year, I took some solace in this one. The next entry is D-Block Europe.

#16

Man, I… I don’t know anymore.

#16 - “Pakistan” - D-Block Europe and Clavish (Peak: #8)

This is sheer gut instinct placement. If I didn’t have some form of restraint and respect for pop music as an artform, this would be even higher. This is probably the most straight-man pick I have here, I know, but I don’t really care, this is just too fun. It starts with a sample of “CrazyRussianHacker” testing a Desert Eagle on a TV, and the rest of the song indulges in just as much careless male chauvinism with a casual lack of respect, that isn’t even to the point of disrespect because they just don’t care enough. Both members of DBE actually bring their best here: Adz is the hook singer, punctuating his infectious, basic melodies with his typical ad-libs - the “ski!” one always gets me - whilst Dirtbike LB is… surprisingly coherent, switching flows in a typical off-beat fashion that actually ends up pretty compelling over an effortless trap skitter from Da Beatfreakz. And Clavish is here. I don’t know, man, I’ll gladly post a notes app apology for this decision if requested.

#15

Whilst we’re in pop-trap, here’s an example of the genre working in the complete opposite way.

#15 - “Mourning” - Post Malone (Peak: #35)

I think I did this song a lot of justice in my initial review. Now that’s not a cop-out, I’m still going to talk about it here, but it should speak wonders that this song immediately hit me considering that most of Post Malone’s output in his past two albums just hasn’t at all. Even the songs I do like were growers and not in a sense where I respected them a lot initially, moreso that they wore me down - Hell, a lot of his worst ever material has also been put out in this time and they didn’t immediately hit me as terrible until they also wore me down. Wearing down seems to the default mode of Post Malone nowadays and it’s reflected in both his best and worst songs, with this being a refreshing example of his exhaustion, starting with a refusal to acknowledge his flaws over this gorgeous liquidy blend of acoustics and twinkling pads that eventually sink behind the plundering bass and kick drums. Post doesn’t sound devastated, just lifeless, but still selling the content with his devoted warble he can never really get out of, pushing himself back into this isolating rut. Naturally, it’s Post, so the melancholy is found in the midst of meaningless flexing, but it just hits home how little any of this ultimately matters. I remember the first time I heard that drop in the second verse I was genuinely taken quite aback, and those little details in the final chorus with Post’s strained backing vocals and the rushing acoustics playing off the kick accentuate the utter frustration at play so brilliantly

#14

This one is a very recent addition to the list, as it just became a hit in the past few weeks! It’s already up there with some of the best dance hits of the year, AND it’s buy a guy with a funny name. What’s not to like?

#14 - “DNA (Loving You)” - Billy Gillies featuring Hannah Boleyn (Peak: #12 so far)

This one should be achingly simple to understand its appeal, but there are more layers than even I expected, really. That cheap synth pattern is surrounded by haunting ambiance that really recontextualise the cutesy lyrics regarding never questioning that loving this person is in Hannah Boleyn’s DNA. She’s not fully selling the lyrics either, it’s a filtered, not-many-risks-taken performance pushed to the front of the mix over a hammering four-on-the-floor bounce. Yet it’s not really a bounce, more of just a standing and jumping in place in a weird level of weary acceptance. It all builds up with the layered clttering percussion to a jerky synth line and the acoustic guitar that seems to clash a tad, bringing it back to the ATB chill-out nostalgia wave in a similar way to Peggy Gou’s hit this year, but with less certainty, bringing a new edge to that sound that you perhaps wouldn’t expect to hear 20 years past it fading out into the background. What really convinced me is that outro, where Boleyn is stripped of any surrounding rhythm, with both the refrain and a new, slightly off-beat verse laid bare onto the cascading synths. That verse in particular is just a brilliant touch to add more depth to the song without extending it unnecessarily, it feels like a moment of difference you want to capture and pick upon but the fact it’s never expanded on just leaves me wanting to replay the track more and find more of that hiding within it. There really isn’t a grander scope or message with this one, it’s just a greatly-orchestrated EDM track put together in a way that allows for a unique sound and doesn’t really want you to do much more with it than that, which is a kind of simplicity I can respect, especially if the product is so catchy and replayable. Now for what I probably played a bit less…

Honourable Mentions

Whilst we’re on dance, we may as well run through the EDM songs that missed the list proper, because there was actually a lot of good EDM - maybe not a lot of GREAT EDM, but it was a more unique and interesting scene in the UK particularly this year and last.

“Rush” - Troye Sivan

I’m counting this as EDM because 1.) it’s fascinating how his producers so effortlessly pulled off that “making an original hook sound like it was always a sample” trick and 2.) screw you, it’s my list, and this is a funky house song. I also am the singular authority on genres, by the way, so whilst we’re here, Kenny G is a rapper.

“AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM” - Beyoncé

It really is a shame that most of the weirder house cuts from RENAISSANCE didn’t get pushed but this is absolutely a good example of what could have been.

“Miracle” - Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding

This song has such a perfect formula that I’m convinced “Desire” is the second in a trilogy where he records the same exact song with a female, non-binary and male vocalist. I’m expecting “Heaven” with Miguel anytime soon.

“(It Goes Like) Nanana” - Peggy Gou

One of the out-of-nowhere hits that actually had a lot of longevity this year, I’m delighted this slice of refreshing 90s chill-out worship is as adored as it is.

“Rumble” - Skrillex, Fred again.. and Flowdan

This is basically two different very distinct song ideas confined to two and a half minutes of shuttering grime: I do not know how Skrillex pulls it off so well.

“Disconnect” - Becky Hill and Chase & Status

This was incredibly close to making the list. Chase & Status may not have a winner with everything they put out but this year they single (double?) handedly made me have any faith in Becky Hill as an artist.

“Rave Out” - Turno, Skepsis and Charlotte Plank

The only reason this is not on the list proper is because there is a song about to enter the top 40 soon that does a similar thing in a way that I much prefer, and would probably be a lock for next year’s list. Sorry, you three, this is otherwise stellar. And now, once again, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

#13

…And when the day bleeds into nightfall…

#13 - “How I’m Feeling Now” - Lewis Capaldi (Peak: #24)

Who’da thunk it? Good ol’ frog-throat strained-cat Lewis Capaldi nearing the top 10 best hits of the year. Why? Well, he finally went and made an acoustic ballad with emo-pop melodies. I’m kind of simple in that regard. Okay, it’s deeper than that: the song is a pretty open and revealing look into Capaldi’s constant self-doubt, not just of his own success but how he overthinks his words and actions, feeling like he needs to tell a manipulated version of his own truth for the sake of keeping up appearances. It’s not exactly more subtle than the rest of Capaldi’s singles, in fact, I’d argue it ends at a length of unsubtlety he hadn’t reached before, but it starts off pretty simple, with Capaldi’s wordy, lower-register verses over a flickering acoustic guitar. His vocal delivery almost skews pop-punk in the pre-chorus and bridge, to the point where I think a rock cover of this would absolutely kill, especially with that somewhat populist cry for a toast in the chorus, wherein the harmonies are just way too satisfying. It would also however take out some of the oomph of the song - it’s more convincing to hear a man sound unsatisfied when he’s yelling over a comfortable bed of delicate strings and guitars. The song really gets to that idea of not living but just existing, and I think a heavier presentation that fits Capaldi’s vocals would actually be kind of detrimental to what’s uniquely effective about the song. The way the chorus just swings into the bridge of false promises is brilliant before that brilliant, almost Britpop swell in the final refrain is one of my favourite set-ups to a climax in pop music this year. This was a year with a lot of competition for wonderfully-composed and put-together tracks so the fact that Lewis Capaldi ended up pretty high on that list… the bar must be set higher, my friends.

#12

What can I say? She still has it.

#12 - “Tension” - Kylie Minogue (Peak: #19)

Kylie Minogue’s never really - at least in her hits - pre-empted discourse in the way that, say, a Madonna does - although, I know that’s a bit of a sour comparison for both fanbases. Instead, in her hit singles, Kylie tends to hit on two separate bases - pure pop fluff and primal human instinct - usually at the same time, and her voice is iconic as a result of being somewhat of a vehicle of the pop machine in a way that has never felt overly commercial, at least not obsessively so. She plays the “pop queen” character with little off-stage drama, it’s played straight - despite her audience - and surprisingly enough, she’s still playing in those two arenas. “Tension” in particular goes for pure pop fluff in how fixated it is on just hooking the listener with refrain upon refrain, very much like a machine. You have the expected 90s vintage house pianos, Kylie and her choir of multi-tracked Kylies stuttering and repeating words that are so processed you barely even consider they’re words. Instead, they act as vehicles for some of the most noxiously infectious melodies of the year. Since I heard it, I have not been able to go two days without the “touch me right there!” appearing in my head somewhere, which in itself is just a recurring cloud in a sky full of drilled-in choruses, right before that plodding slap house bass drop and a static robot Kylie promising you she doesn’t bite. Every single detail is paid utmost attention, from the panned multi-tracking, the frenetic bass in the post-chorus, the rhythmic echoes in the pre-chorus, the way her “oh-oh”s seamlessly predict the “all night” and “oh my God” refrains that come later. I love when pop music is human but more often than not, I love when pop music is pop music and God, this is so brilliantly constructed from head to toe as a pop song. Oh, and just saying, none of Madonna’s singles this year have even gotten to the tip of this one’s troughs.

#11

You know, one trend in global pop music that was actually coherent and widespread in 2023 was the new fanaticism around “Jersey club” music, a form of EDM which has existed for a long time but gained much of its virality this year and the previous. Even within that genre of blue-balls structureless tracks, this one strikes a bit odd.

#11 - “Just Wanna Rock” - Lil Uzi Vert (Peak: #30)

When I’m in just the right mood for it, I will not experience more joy than when listening to “Just Wanna Rock”, which is bizarre because it’s not exactly a song made for that jumpy pop song bliss. It’s a one-dimensional song, yet its one dimension is already sort of confusing and not easy to latch onto. The song seems to constantly restart itself with the alien synth layers just splattered onto the track with little acknowledgement of how at some point there will be need to be a rhythm to accommodate it, so by the time the lo-fi Jersey club kicks come in, it seems like they’re just placed on there, yet it also creates an entirely new song because of how naturally driving those Jersey club rhythms here. Lil Uzi Vert… I mean, they’re just on a completely different wavelength to any human here, stretching their limited range to Auto-Tuned cries, yelps and whispers all within the span of seconds amidst annoying, echoing producer tags and a beat that just refuses to give up. It’s barely even a song, it’s an assortment of sound effects, yet that’s what so pure about it. The percussion is layered in a way that doesn’t feel entirely sequenced, it seems like a crowd is all snapping alongside Uzi, and the cacophony of sound effects and ad-libs emulates that inhuman and probably intoxicated state. The “song” devolves into Uzi just shouting “BUH!” endlessly over a minimal beat, until even that’s too much and we just get the beat punctuated with a stock vocal loop, and then even THAT’S too much to have so the song restarts again with that synth motif but because that would be too conventional and solid of a resolution, it quickly fades out. It’s an on-edge anticipation fest that lets its bare essentials satisfy instead of really caring for how it’s constructed as a song. I know both of the last three entries I all said were great examples of pop song construction. This is deconstruction. It’s a mess, I admire it. On a related note: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN WHOA!

#10

This is also a recent addition, and one I’m very happy just clinched its spot.

#10 - “Back on 74” - Jungle (Peak: #25)

I feel like this one also semi-explains itself, not because it’s some world-gravitating smash hit that everyone and their favourite critic praised to high heavens, but more so because… I mean, have you heard it? It just works. It’s the tightest groove available played on the most clicky ram-shackle percussion section available, with a great vocal from Lydia Kitto that isn’t exactly a high-effort lyrical detail, especially considering the lack of enunciation and complex vocal layering probably wanting to distract you from them, but still reflects that stability of a nostalgic place - a place that becomes a time, and encapsulates everyone who was once there. Those clipping falsetto yelps keep the reminiscent chorus in check by making us realise it’s not a place and time you can experience anymore, but those memories do follow her - in fact, the great use of vocal group harmonies here probably reflect those people and those good times that have made the person who they are. Would they be there if those nostalgic memories weren’t an essential part of her? The twinkling synths, those horns that seem way too glazed to feel real, it’s in many ways a fantasy-sounding song, constructing some kind of ideal reality where she’s never gonna cry anymore. It never answers that pushing question of “where did it all go?” but doesn’t leave it to hang either, just kind of hypothetically accepting the past as what it is, especially with that abrupt switch into the vintage, almost eerie falsetto riffing of the outro. Something can be gone, something can not be there where you want it, and that’s fine… and that’s something I definitely needed to remind myself this year.

Ask me in 15 years what the best hit song of 2023 is and my first response will be “why are you in my home?”, my second will be “only AI has been making songs for the past 10 years” and my third will be “Heaven” by Niall Horan.

#9 - “Heaven” - Niall Horan (Peak: #16)

Out of all the songs on this list, this one feels the most like a timeless British pop song. Much like with “Back on 74”, my leading argument here is - have you heard it? Yet unlike “Back on 74”, it doesn’t take many sonic or structural risks, it stays within the comforting mold it’s already set for itself, but it sets the standard immediately: 10 seconds of a choir so masked in vocal effects that harmonies become as much of a full-fledged phaser as the synths that warp around it, then crashing straight into a semi-acoustic pop rock jingle with an unforgettable bassline and kind of bizarre mastering, honestly, but that’s beside the point. This song is happy and lovestruck and it’s so happy and so lovestruck that it won’t shut up about it, and it’s going to reassure itself of how happy and lovestruck it is until one would understandably get sick of it. The only real risk this song takes structire-wise is that intro and the fact that the pre-chorus doesn’t come in until after the second verse, leaving for that bit of reassurance to only slide in when you could show any glimpse of doubt. The song has a certain ego about it too: “Heaven won’t be the same” - Niall Horan and his lover are so in love that even if the relationship breaks down they will permanently change the fabric of Heaven. And I believe it. He has the desperate belt, wistful multi-tracking, and sheer strength of belief that would convince anyone, especially when singing possibly the best chorus of the year, not just in hit songs. Surely a best chorus of the year would be #1 when it comes to pop songs but realistically the song isn’t some constructional masterpiece, but it has one absolutely lovely emotion that it will drill into you, and I’m personally completely fine with because THIS is true escapism.

I teased earlier that there was a lot to like in this year’s EDM hits, here in the top 10 is when that point starts to be proven.

#8 - “So Much in Love” - D.O.D (Peak: #15)

You know, this actually has a lot in common with “Heaven”, bizarrely. The two songs sound nothing alike, sure, and they’re practically in different tenses - but both are very aware of the fragility of relationships yet yearn for a time of lawless bliss, whilst not taking many risks within their genre to the fullest effect due to how pure the emotion feels and how the songs perfectly slide into place. In D.O.D’s song, the relationship is in past-tense, desperately wanting to “take it back” to the time where their love was all that mattered, with a vocal sample chugging alongside church organs and chopped-up pitch-shifted vocals, as well as increasingly factorial percussion that runs off of its own beeping intensity until the song simply implodes in the drop. Yet the vocal sample continues to ask for peace and love even when there’s practically no melody to be found other than an oddly frenetic bassline jumping on and off a conveyor belt of house percussion, to the point where I think the song would make a great alarm to wake you up in the morning. Yet of course that desperacy comes to a temporary end - that beeping synth stretched on and off of the rhythm, flankering amidst a mix drenched in cloudy reverb and those Goddamn church organs that just really drive the song. Hell, it might be more similar to “Back on 74” in that regard: it just keeps on chugging on, asking but never receiving, allowing for the uglier elements of its percussion to ground the nostalgia. Yet this song never really stays grounded. The looping vocal is constant, honestly kind of annoying, the bass propels the song outside of this world, not back onto ground - the rocket has taken off by the time it really hits, and the vocal loop barely finishes its sentences with how the time of love felt so distant. We get a brief respite in what you could vaguely call an “outro” but it’s still far from grounded. And I just massively overthought a song which uses a stock sample that the Bad Boy Chiller Crew have also cribbed from. Genuinely, why else would you read my blog if not for stuff like that?

Another very recent addition and one I’m incredibly happy to have the opportunity to talk about. Of all people to be in the top 40 as of writing…

#6 - “My Love Mine All Mine” - Mitski (Peak: #8 so far)

I’m not the biggest Mitski fan, to be honest, even if I love a lot of the output I’ve heard from her, and I’ve still yet to check out the full album that this originates from. I’m sure it hits even harder in context, but as a singular track, it’s incredibly touching as well. The main conceit is that Mitski wishes to bank her heart with the Moon, sending her love into the atmosphere so when she’s no longer around, which she accepts as an inevitability, the love that she felt and expressed for not only herself and other people but seemingly love for the world in general, will still be able to shine down on Earth. The second verse brings that second person in and whilst it frames itself as being about another woman, I could easily read it as being about those in her family and close relations in general who outlive her and have shown her how valuable she is a person. Mitski sounds almost disaffected as she sings these limbering verses over a vintage set of pianos and relaxed drums, a beautiful, very Brill Building-sounding composition to me that seems to relish in just acceptance. It’s also important to note how much that love means to her, as Mitski’s struggles to belong are in part dissipated by the value and worth she sees in her own ability to love and care, which she sees as her one true possession, the one thing that won’t cost her. As I get a bit older and have been doing this pop music review for a while, I’m finding a lot more solace in the sense of wisened realism that Mitski portrays here, finding value in her own death as something that may bring the joy and love she took ownership of in life to everyone else on Earth who deserves it, but it never slips out of her hands. It’s still absolutely hers.

Honourable Mentions

Alright, now for our biggest range of Honourable Mentions yet - pop and R&B, and everything that vaguely functions as both or in between. Listen, genres are strange and meaningless in the streaming era, this is just how we’ve got to do it.

“CUFF IT” - Beyoncé

Even when the song isn’t great on its own, Beyoncé is just so much of a presence that this ends up rivalling the best of other pop singers’ discographies.

“Lavender Haze” - Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift was the biggest pop star of 2023, by far. She was the person the media cared most about, the public cared most about, and other celebrities seemed to care most about, creating record-breaking industry moments in music and film, yet most of her output this year were above average remakes of her older songs, so she’s practically a non-presence here, which feels kind of wrong, but hey ho. This is still a great album opener though.

“Creepin’” - Metro Boomin, The Weeknd and 21 Savage

I maintain that getting Travis Scott to replicate the Enya sample may be the most genius production idea anyone had in the past year. The rest of the song is just a pretty good cover of one of the best hit songs ever, that just barely didn’t pass as “not 2023 enough” for inclusion here.

“Calm Down” - Rema

This song is so adorable. I honestly wish I liked it more so there could be more Afrobeats representation in the list.

“My Love” - Leigh-Anne featuring Ayra Starr

Same goes for this one, and it was really close! The standard was just particularly high this year. Yes, I know that D-Block Europe were at #16.

“Jaded” - Miley Cyrus

I have mostly been completely uncaring towards Miley’s output this year, but this is a pretty brilliant pop song.

“UNHEALTHY” - Anne-Marie featuring Shania Twain

I nearly put this song in the final category and considered it a “country” song but even with how much I like the track and its Shania Twain stamp of approval, I think that would be taking the piss.

“You & Me” - JENNIE

If you’re wondering, the hit song this year titled the other way around - “Me & You” by Central Cee - would squarely be in the top 10 worst hit songs of this year. In fact, while we’re here…

The 10 worst hit songs of 2023

Same rules, but keeping it to one song per artist:

#10 - “Chemical” - Post Malone

#9 - “Used to be Young” - Miley Cyrus

#8 - “The Color Violet” - Tory Lanez

#7 - “Search & Rescue” - Drake

#6 - “ONE MORE TIME” - blink-182

#5 - “All My Life” - Lil Durk featuring J. Cole

#4 - “K-POP” - Travis Scott, Bad Bunny and The Weeknd

#3 - “Me & You” - Central Cee

#2 - “Like Crazy” - Jimin

#1 - “Alone” - Kim Petras and Nicki Minaj

None of these should be a surprise to those who followed the weekly series and I refuse to spend more time than I have on songs I really don’t want to give the light of day. Now to continue with those that I do…

I quite rarely have a pure and emotive response to songs I review on the weekly Friday show. I mean, I do to the extent that every response to a piece of art is an emotive response but rarely does a song, even one I really love or hate, take me by the proverbial balls as much as this one did. The only other song to do that this year didn’t reach the top 40. But this one did, and you have no idea how happy it made me.

#6 - “Ready to Fly” - Sub Focus and Dimension (Peak: #29)

This song is just absolutely everything I want a song to be, and I think that’s why it made me so happy on first listen because if you asked me to write down what I think a charting EDM song should sound like, I’m pretty sure this would be the audio version of what I end up noting down. I also gave a pretty in-depth review of this on that week, which feels like ages ago now, but months later, I still get the same rush. The vocals are uncredited, though I think they may be from Jo Hill since she’s credited as a songwriter, and you may not see them as important but I think they emulate the music pretty brilliantly, being stuck in the middle during the pre-drop, simultaneously drowning and rising and just needing someone - or more accurately, something - to lift her up into the sky and the song does just that because this is one of the most immaculately produced hardcore EDM tracks I’ve heard. You actually start in the middle of the action with a weedy synth, a brief flute that seldom comes back amidst the incomprehensible vocal loops overlapping each other like waves crashing into fellow waves on the way to go erode some cliffs. The constant hit of the light drum hit just resting there, testing your patience, until a roll of 90s pianos come in, after the mix have basically already clipped, alongside a perfect drum fill that again, takes its time of a few measures before it gets back into the mix alongside that nasty bass that refuses to bring much attention to itself before it really needs to, crashing into a drum and bass drop that just goes immensely hard, stupidly so, and almost feels alien to the chorus that developed it, so it’s only fitting that same weedy synth eventually erodes that drop in a lathering mysterious soundscape that seems prepared to just copy-paste its drop as the rattling breakbeats, vintage piano… don’t seem all too interested in doing the same thing twice. Instead, they come in more subtly amidst that flute from earlier, until that vocal sample plays - “let’s do it now” - and we get an abrupt bait-and-switch until a four-on-the-floor hardcore kick pushing the rubbery vocal into sounding even more like it’s underwater, with the rest of the song pre-occupied in pushing itself even further into the depths whilst keeping one eye out, extended into the air. This is a journey of a song, and one I don’t think I’ll ever forget my first listen. Now speaking of journeys…

This one also feels a bit obvious, especially if you have talked to me about pop music this year, but unlike the other obvious picks… this one did go a bit further under the radar than “Escapism.”, it isn’t as recent and unexpected as “My Love Mine All Mine” and isn’t exactly my genre as much as “Ready to Fly” or “Heaven”. Despite all of that, it’s higher on the list and was a massive comfort for me this year.

#5 - “ceilings” - Lizzy McAlpine (Peak: #6)

I guess it’s a bit weird that I find this song comforting. After all, it’s got a tense chorus build-up, it’s a pretty heart-aching ballad about nothing described in this idealistic relationship actually being real. Hell, that twist at the end that it was all in past tense and it was practically a fantasy retelling I could even see as being used against the song because it may damage the emotional connection you develop with the song’s narrative… but I call BS on that, because there are various hints dropped towards this relationship being finished; “I have to go”, “it’s so short” - every start of a movie has to have its ending, the twist is built up pretty effectively. Even if it weren’t, I think that outro is just shattering, especially because of the blissful images you get, some detail being left out or kept vague to keep that cinematic scene intact as well as ensuring some of this is far gone in McAlpine’s memory. You can imagine the pictures, framed on the wall, being torn down with that strings swell, the accounts being deleted, everything happening in reverse like it was a real romance film. But it all starts humbly, with that scratchy acoustic guitar, gorgeous vocals from McAlpine, with the microphone picking up a lot of subtle details in her vocal takes that display a lot more character than you’d perhaps expect from someone who’s only having their first hits now. Yet I still wonder why it gives me comfort. I think it’s because now I know the song, its staggered drums, its widening of the almost call-and-response melody in the verses, I know what’s coming and that climax comes as a perfect climax. It’s like a comfort movie, one that’s light watching because you know all the plot beats but it just works for you every time… so really this song does feel like a movie I’ve seen before, and will rewatch again and again. Now, we’ve had a lot of slower or more lyrically heavy songs, and we will finish the list off with them, so let’s have some bitter, pissy fun.

Ahem… slay, Queen of Tax Evasion! Did I use “slay” right?

#4 - “Shakira: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 53” - Bizarrap and Shakira (Peak: #31)

If you weren’t paying attention, Bizarrap is an Argentine producer who makes freestyle-esque music videos with Latin stars and has a whole YouTube series doing so. Recently, he’s been gathering much bigger stars and this seems to be his peak, as he orchestrated what was practically the comeback for living legend Shakira, and she came back bitingly, with a song fully in Spanish about how she is so awesome. Because she is! And even though the song is an in-depth diss track towards her ex-husband and his affair with a younger woman, it still feels much more about Shakira being back and more passionate than ever. In fact, she basically pulls down her ex’s image in the first verse, revealing that despite the media and press, the version she got of him was the absolute worst version, not worthy of the “champion” label he brands himself given he was one of the most decorated football players of all time. She only shows signs of vulnerability when she can fleetingly twist it into a strength, and everyone - his mother, his new girlfriend - are caught in the crossfire, but once again, it’s all in relation to her, and you can tell even through all the bitterness remaining, that she’s having a lot of cathartic fun with this. It’s not like she’s pulling Bizarrap’s weight here either, as this is not a typical reggaeton beat or anything, this is an intricate synthpop beat full of switch-ups that all feel effortless and like they were done in-studio during the recording, as is the general tone of his video series. The drums hit surprisingly hard amidst the almost condescending 80s pastiche, and that’s where Bizarrap really shines, with those kicks feeling like they accentuate not only Shakira’s insanely catchy melodies but like they punch in at every spare breath she leaves in the take. The popping tropical drums that come in during that wonderfully angry second verse, as well as all the sound effects, make moments that seem out of the blue basically new hooks, and it shows how adaptable the writing of this song truly is, Shakira struck gold with some of the genuinely clever wordplay here, and definitely each pocket she finds here. The interception of her just being an effortless, swaggering presence and the “anything goes” approach Bizarrap brings to percussion creates upwards of 20 massive “moments” that undoubtedly sported this song as a brief yet essential viral comeback hit, and definitely helped the all-Spanish song land in the top 40 in the UK which just never happens. Seriously though, Bizarrap is insane with the drums on this, especially in its final breaths from the trap drop to the final chorus fill to how everything just washes out by the end. God, it’s perfect. Also Shakira please marry me-

One of the cultural touchstones of this year was the… mostly pretty good Barbie movie, with its emotional ending heavily integrating this very song, because no, of course that weird, still-feels-a-bit-forced cultural moment isn’t getting just a fleeting reference in this list.

#3 - “What Was I Made For?” - Billie Eilish (Peak: #1)

Okay, maybe it is. I liked the film but didn’t love it and find a lot more value in this song as a milestone piece in Billie Eilish’s discography and narrative, even if it perfectly fits into Barbie’s as well, than I do as a soundtrack piece. It’s a remarkably simple and mostly very straightforward track in terms of its writing and a lot of its production, but it gives me goosebumps honestly every time. It was a lot lower in this list initially but after listening to it once again, it really deserves to be this high. FINNEAS’ production is at a signature minimalism, with the lowly, distanced pianos, at some point slightly chopped in the mix in the intro, which never stood out to me until now and resonates a lot with me, mostly because of the overall theme of the song which is being identity-less. Eilish, after two very successful albums, has a bit of a “break time” but one mostly littered with touring, press coverage and one-offs like this or that EP from earlier in 2022. The cohesive themes of those last two projects can’t be realised in these loosies, sure, but this one particularly is about a level of uncertainty that’s taken a toll on Eilish’s mental state, especially her self-esteem, as she tries to fit into moulds of femininity that she struggles to see much value in, seeing herself as just a toy, a product, under the microscope of society and pop culture as a whole. This is all handled incredibly delicately and with very straightforward, nearly exclusively monosyllabic lyrics, which I find a really inspired choice amidst the whispery synth mist and gorgeous strings that undercut the song, yet are unable to overshadow Billie, whose voice is - as it often is - straight at the front of the mix, making the song feel incredibly intimate and that you can hear the damage this lack of identity has done to her, especially when her voice trails off from the multi-tracked harmonies to a mumbling croak in the chorus. That speck of hope in how she’s never silenced, never fallen victim to the surrounding instrumentation, makes her feel like much less of a burden: it’s an optimistic song, ultimately, knowing that whilst she may not be able to fit into the characters pre-designed and chosen for her, she can be happy, and she’s made to be happy, and will wait until she is, regardless of how long it takes. I adore this song, I didn’t think it’d end up this high initially but the more I think about it, the more it really registers with me at the moment and it’s brilliantly pulled off. FINNEAS is an excellent producer and the tiny little details he places here are just perfectly sequenced for what he needs to convey. In fact, he’s so good he may or may not be on the list twice.

This list really did not mean to be one song per artist. I kept it that way for the worst list so I don’t look like a hater but for the best list, it really just was a diverse enough group of high-quality songs. This next one, however, is the one technical exception.

#2 - “Never Felt So Alone” - Labrinth (Peak: #33)

For those of you who haven’t heard it, this song features uncredited vocals from Billie Eilish. Would the song be good without her? I mean, it could have gotten into the Honourable Mentions, but the real reason this is an exception to the one-song-per-artist rule is because of how integral the duet dynamic is in this track.

There are almost too many layers to this despite it only being two and a half minutes, I don’t know where to start. So firstly, this is a break-up song where we get two different perspectives, one from Labrinth and the other from Billie, though how much more Labrinth gets to say is also really interesting, but we’ll get to that. They both have jarringly separate perspectives that come to the same conclusion of loneliness, like one half of their very being has been cut off quite suddenly, though with Labrinth, that seems to come with troughs of aspirations, a lot of which make him seem more important. A drunken, broken man sitting in his car not able to finish his sentences without Billie’s voice chiming in for the harmony, slowly going insane after a break-up not because of a mutual love and appreciation but rather because of how Billie had formed such an integral part of Labrinth’s identity. He calls himself “this” and “this man”, dehumanising and depersonalising himself into a figurine rather than a coherent human being, thinking about how little of a purpose he serves without his ex-partner. The pre-chorus, interestingly only sang once, evokes marriage with the “all-white leather”, and sees Billie as the interior to Labrinth’s exterior ego, building this relationship up as something that formed his character rather than forming a real bond, especially with Eilish’s fleeting backing vocals that reference her “dying somewhere in the dark” - it’s not her that was important to him, it’s how she made him appear and feel externally, with her acting as the fuel for both his esteem and his downward spiral. The imagery of the “whip” and its “interior” just furthers this idea that Billie was little more than a vehicle for Labrinth’s own motivation. Eilish, who gets a short excerpt of a verse, sings of the betrayal she feels, wishing that she could have seen the red flags from the beginning, and now being able to stand back and see the relationship for what it is, it seems like Labrinth was just on the chase for something to fulfil him and saw that in the relationship, rather than the “new best friend” Billie thought she found. Instead of the entire world falling apart like in Labrinth’s verse, Billie takes ownership of that world that fell apart, because it was her worldview and perspective that Labrinth took advantage of.

Oh, yeah, this is a music list, not a poetry sound. How does it sound? Well, when you have Labrinth on co-production with FINNEAS and Fred again.., you can almost confirm those little perfect narrative details and this is a pretty wonky song in all its melancholy, even coming off as slightly goofy at times due to just how disarticulated it is structure-wise, often paralleling its lyrics. You start with distorted yelps that seem to have no relation to the song’s composition before a solid, stagnant alternative R&B beat comes in, with each snare feeling so unnecessarily spare. Labrinth’s backing vocals are rendered by the production chopping them up as incoherent drunken babbling, processed to feel even less natural and human, excommunicating him from Billie’s idealistic view of him even further. It’s an immaculate, genius production and hits so hard, especially with the bass in the second chorus and how the song continues to empty itself, build up more layers only for the vocal leads to become even more sparing and fragmented; I don’t think I’ve ever heard Billie as loose as she is on than on this verse. An overall excellent song, not one I’d even expect to chart, and whilst it may not tell the more personal, resonant story out of the two Eilish songs on this list, it has a much grander and compelling narrative to tell that I think perfectly aligns, yet not seamlessly, with the sonics of the track. Yet… it’s not my #1.

Honourable Mentions

Now, before the #1, for our final sweep of Honourable Mentions: rock, indie, alternative, folk, country, whatever the Hell that wasn’t already covered.

“How Does it Feel” - Tom Grennan

I’m so happy Tom Grennan finally won me over. It feels like he’s been cock-teasing me with music that should be better than it is for like two years.

“Rich Men North of Richmond” - Oliver Anthony Music

My lawyer advised me not to comment on this one.

“Life Goes On” - Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran had a low-key year despite his several releases, and I feel like this pretty heart-breaking ballad exemplifies his best moment in recent years quite well.

“Say Yes to Heaven” - Lana Del Rey

“A&W” peaking at #41 is why I lose sleep at night. For the record, “Paris, Texas” peaked at #48 and was the only other song to make me have a noticeably emotive response on first listen during the chart show. If they peaked in the top 40, I can’t confirm where either song would be but chances are at least one would be in my top five.

“Cha Cha Cha” - Kaarija

I’m pretty sure this song qualifies for every honourable mention sub-category.

“I Remember Everything” - Zach Bryan featuring Kacey Musgraves

If this were “Spotless” instead, or “Jake’s Piano - Long Island”, or “East Side of Sorrow”, or “Holy Roller”, or “Smaller Acts”… okay, really most tracks would do from that Zach Bryan self-titled album, chances are I’d have a country song actually make the list proper.

“Black Friday” - Tom Odell

I still haven’t fully come to terms with this one exactly. I think I’ll regret not giving it a place in a few months but for now, I don’t think I can coherently write about what makes it so special. Ironically, that’s also a problem I face somewhat with my #1 pick.

So, this is a weird one. It’s definitely not following the trend of my #1 hit songs, if I really have a trend in that department. It feels much simpler, much more transcendent and also much less reflective of the year as a whole. It’s also not one I gave an initially positive review. In fact, I was quite negative in my first review so I think I grew to love the song in the way one grows to love a younger sibling. There was a weird journey with this song that I didn’t have with any of the other 19 - every single one of those got beaming reviews from the outset. In fact, I’m sure you could argue every single one of those 19 songs is better than this one, or at least more unique, more reflective of my mood this year, the events and trends in pop music of this year, if you can really create a coherent list of that. If there’s one thing I wanted to do this year though, in a year of exhausting change in my life and seemingly everything surrounding it, it was to be in a state of not thinking. Some kind of bizarre hypno state where I don’t need to go through any physical or mind hurdles to enjoy myself. More than anything, I wanted to be whelmed. There is one song that never overwhelmed or underwhelmed me this year, one that I could go to for comfort, even when I didn’t really consider myself as liking the song. Hell, that’s how I started liking it: I would just listen to it because I wanted something I knew wouldn’t in some way challenge me. Maybe I’m just shallow and nervous or I’m getting older and realising what I want pop music to do is not to surprise me or innovate before our eyes. I just want something to know, to make me feel, but maybe not to make me react.

#1 - “REACT” - Switch Disco featuring Ella Henderson and Robert Miles (Peak: #4)

I really don’t even know where to begin with this one, or where to end. A lot of the songs within the top 20 and the Honourable Mentions exist in some way to surprise, energise, compel - I’m not sure if this song exists to make me feel anything. I’m sure it has a pretty good effect in nightclubs, but it seems too watery and transparent to be played there often. It would sound terrible when on a compressed car radio, and it’s too programmed to be effectively performed live without major adjustments. It does little to surprise - it uses the classic “Children” sample from the late Robert Miles to great effect but it’s not like that’s new. In fact, I called it a “cut-and-paste job” in my initial review, which really was quite uncharitable of me looking back at it: the sample’s most prevalent in the chorus but its piano motifs maintain a cute presence within the verses and pre-chorus, and the original song’s thematic purpose seems pretty well implemented. The original song has a certain eerieness to it but only if you over-think its dated acoustic guitars and new-age sensibilities, which only intend to allow for each echoed rain droplet to find its way back to the pond after adventuring to your bedroom or car window. Fittingly for a trance song, it’s practically trance-inducing, not because it’s mind-numbingly repetitive but because it is utter submersion into a world you don’t even want to think about, and instead just experience. I’m sure Robert Miles would see no purpose in what I’m doing analysing his gorgeous instrumental piece. It’s to be experienced, enjoyed - it’s to be felt, not explained. And to be clear, it is really difficult to explain what makes “Children” so special, and that’s equally true for “REACT”, which packages the catchiest elements of Miles’ composition into a modern pop song. That should feel wrong, right? It should feel like a misfire. But instead, it’s beautiful: the world becomes routine, wonderland becomes the expected. Within a year where I felt like everyone was happening at once in both my personal life and the world as a whole, I want to be able to turn my brain off, and only “REACT”, ironically, could stop those chemicals in my brain from moving to conclusions. That first line, “24/7, on my mind, day and night, all the time, you ain’t even by my side” has always resonated with me: “REACT” is a love song but that line has always felt like it reflected how constant and comforting the music is, even if it’s far from tangible. Every part of this song, from the cheap finger-snaps to the alluring backdrop of its Robert Miles sample, to the factorial percussion somehow forming a human patter on the liquid house production, and especially those moments that just hit like routine for me each time: the acoustic guitars in the pre-chorus, that final drop just being the embrace of all that is simple and human.

“REACT” doesn’t really say anything pop music or 2023 as a year in the grand socio-political sense, I think it just says something about me and how I wanted to live and feel this year, which is a refreshing thing to say when the default mode of communication is toxic discourse. I’m definitely pontificating about this song more than intended or maybe deserved, but I’m not going to say music is of any less inherent value based on its structure and form, how it sounds, what it samples, what chart placement it reached. Art’s value is found in how you REACT.

…

Just kidding, “fukumean” by Gunna is actually #1. Eeyup! Thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week!

#pop music #song review #best hit songs #2023

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waiting-on-a-dream · 9 months

Text

𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦

Haruto: Noa-san.

Noa: Good afternoon, Haruto.

Haruto: How are things between the prisoners?

Noa: We're all getting along well considering the circumstances.

Haruto: Besides Ichiro, no one else has caused any trouble, right?

Noa: No, we would have notified you otherwise.

Haruto: Alright, just checking. How are you coping with your verdict by the way?

Noa: I'm not sure what to make of it. I still think I deserve to be punished but...maybe it wouldn't be too hard to keep living.

Haruto: I'm sure you can find many things to live for.

Noa: Maybe...

Haruto: Now, would you like to talk about your victim?

Noa: ...There's nothing worth hiding anymore, I suppose.

Haruto: You said it was an accident. Was that true?

Noa: In a way, yes.

Haruto: What happened?

Noa: ...

Haruto: If you're not ready to talk about it yet, that's fine.

Noa: No, I... I can talk about it.

Haruto: Take your time.

Noa: It...It was suicide.

Haruto: Huh?

Noa: I tried to commit suicide, by jumping off the cliff by my favourite beach in the middle of a stormy night. I've had previous attempts, so my husband must have been on alert. I hadn't noticed that he followed me all the way to the beach.

Haruto: You walked there?

Noa: I didn't want to take his car and leave it there. It was only a 20 minute walk...

Haruto: What did he do when you reached the cliff?

Noa: He called my name...and tried to get me to go home with him. But I was so embarrassed and upset that he'd followed me all the way to the cliff, I was more adamant on getting it done. I had written letters to him and my family and everything.

Haruto: Did you both end up falling into the water?

Noa: Yes... He tried to pull me away from the edge, and we struggled for a bit until I slipped. It was raining and the rocks were slippery.

Haruto: And you both fell in. Only you made it out.

Noa: I think he hit some rocks below. He had trouble swimming, and I could only keep us both afloat for so long. If he hadn't been in the water, I would have simply allowed myself to drown.

Haruto: You know, I've been meaning to ask. Why drowning?

Noa: Eh? I...was hoping they'd never find my body. Maybe it would have been better for them not to see it.

Haruto: Some people agonize over never being able to see their loved one one last time.

Noa: I guess so...

Haruto: Your husband. What was he like?

Noa: Ah. His name in Benjiro. He was a painter. His best works were flowers, though he often wasted time sketching me. He loved animals, jellyfish being his favourite. He loved, loved, loved omurice. He would always insist that I draw him a ketchup heart or else he'd whine about me not loving him enough.

Haruto: He sounds like a keeper.

Noa: He is... He was.

Haruto: If you loved him so much, why did you want to die so badly?

Noa: Hah! Do you think I don't ask myself the same thing? On some days, I would feel so empty I wouldn't have the will to get out of bed. Benjiro would call my workplace for me and ask for sick leave, then spend the day by my side and feed me soup as if there was something physically wrong with me!

Haruto: ...I see. You must have had a really tough time.

Noa: Some days, I wouldn't be empty, I'd be devastated. The littlest things would tick me off. I would want nothing more than to die.

Haruto: ...I'm sorry.

[Bell rings, mechanical sounds in the back.]

Noa: I wonder what my music video will show you this time.

Haruto: Let's find out then. Prisoner 008, sing your sins.

#prisoner 008: watanabe noa #prison guard: suzuki haruto

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maya-matlin · 9 months

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Obviously Naley is one of the best TV ships of all time, maybe even THE best, so I'm challenging you to name a few things you don't love or would change about the way their ship was written! For me a big one is their S2 plot and her music storylines in general- I'm all for conflict but I thought Haley, who values personal relationships so much more than 'celebrity', was pretty out of character through S2. I also ---pet peeve alert - HATE how all the main OTH characters are not only athletes and cheerleaders but soooo gifted creatively! Lucas becomes a semi-famous novelist, Peyton becomes the producer of her own record company in addition to being a gifted artist, Brooke has her own fabulously successful fashion line which she started back in high school, and we then get Julian who's a successful film director and Alex Dupree who's a B-list movie star. Nathan isn't creatively gifted but is of course not just a great athlete but good enough to be in the .0001% who gets to the NBA. And they all still live in this small North Carolina town lol...I mean, I don't expect the show to be strictly realistic, but come on! More than even one of those things happening strains credulity. So I loved that Haley was presented as the ONE character who was so relatable and into academics and down to earth and all that, but the show then suddenly decides after S1 purely because the actress likes to sing that Haley is not just a decent singer but good enough to immediately go on TOUR?! What?!?! It's an aspect of the show that annoys the hell out of me. I loved Haley as a teacher for a variety of reasons and think it's the perfect career choice for her and will always resent that they had to also make her a star singer lol. 3. I'll still never quite get why Naley had to marry a few months into their relationship when they were just juniors in high school and there was no pregnancy. 4. So I like Nathan a lot overall, but there's no denying that he was a HORRIBLE, borderline emotionally abusive boyfriend to Peyton (as you've pointed out, he left her stranded on a dark and deserted road, was super cruel to her, and was all set to let her suffer legal consequences for a car accident HE caused lol) and I just don't love the "but the RIGHT girl can immediately tame and save the bad boy" trope. So I love that Naley brought out the best in each other, of course, but I just wish the change in Nathan hadn't been quite so abrupt! OK, thanks for listening to be vent!

Hmm. The thing about parts of Naley's season 2 arc is that personally, I think Nathan and Haley were mostly in character during everything leading up to Haley leaving for the tour. In my opinion, it's a pretty realistic depiction of what happens when you get married as teenagers following a short relationship before you've been able to become independent people. The circumstances were pretty unrealistic. In real life, a small town girl probably wouldn't end up going on tour a couple of months into performing live for the first time in her life. Haley's career wouldn't have taken off nearly as fast without Chris there to vouch for her talents and bringing The Wreckers to Tree Hill. But if we ignore all of that, the reality is that Haley spent her entire life afraid to take chances. Falling in love with and marrying Nathan allowed Haley to be more impulsive and to become a braver person. Nathan, in contrast, needed Haley's stability and good influence. While he was the same age at her and hadn't been allowed to live independently away from his toxic and abusive parents for long, he had more romantic and sexual relationship experience prior to Haley and was looking to slow down rather than jumping into new things. So for Nathan, giving up something like High Flyers was less of a big deal at the time than Haley choosing not to go with Chris to New York. Nathan had grown up with a life of privilege, receiving the best money could buy as far as getting ahead as an athlete. Plus by the end of season 1 and first half of season 2, you could assume that Nathan was beginning to associate basketball with Dan and kind of happy to stop defining himself as Nathan the basketball guy. In the long run had Haley never gone on tour but Nathan also not gone to High Flyers, I think it's possible Nathan himself would have began to feel stifled and grown resentful of putting his dreams on hold solely to be a husband. Anyways. I think Haley liked having something all her own independent of Nathan, and the Chris factor and her lack of experience with men prior to Nathan put her in a messy situation. There are multiple episodes where the subtext is that Haley on some level regrets rushing into marriage or has doubts about it (201, 205, 210, 217). I think it's completely understandable for Haley to feel that way. As much as I love them and consider them one of all my time favorite couples, they weren't ready to be married. Nathan and Haley had to learn to be better partners to each other and as the seasons went by, they became more successful. But during season 2, everything was new and more uncertain. So rather than being honest with Nathan about the kiss with Chris and her perspective re: putting her dreams on hold, Haley panicked and kind of internalized everything out of fear of what it all meant or the ramifications of what she'd done.

In regards to your thoughts about Haley craving fame, I don't know that it was really about the fame part as much as it was Haley wanting to pursue music and getting professional validation and fulfillment from performing and having people like her music. Haley says she loved every night of performing and she seemed to be excited about appearing on television, but I wouldn't say it meant much more than that. However, Haley's POV is very vague and confusing following 213. She's only ever shown either in brief phone conversations or when Nathan and Lucas visited her on tour. During 217 in particular, Haley is poorly written. Not because her thoughts and feelings aren't valid, but because the words coming out of her mouth are a piece of forced writing meant to ensure that Nathan and Haley remain separated and that Nathan essentially gives up on their marriage. Haley is not given the chance to explain herself. So as a result, Haley appears selfish and like she cares more about being a rockstar than Nathan's feelings. That's exactly what the writers wanted at the time. The story of Naley's separation and Haley's time on the tour was NEVER about Haley. It was all about Nathan's pain, depression, and his fight through the pain of losing the love of his life. Haley's role on the show was minimized to the point of her becoming a villain for having ambitions and for making mistakes the same as the other characters. It got a little better when Lucas visited Haley because Lucas was close enough to Haley that he truly wanted to understand and was willing to hear her out. So, we got the official explanation that Haley stopped wearing her wedding band because she no longer felt she deserved to wear it. The moment she presumably removes her wedding ring would have been prior to her televised interview. Yet, Haley keeps her ring finger covered up. She compromises herself by denying the marriage while also kind of upholding it? She still refers to herself as Haley James Scott and doesn't officially flaunt the fact she isn't wearing her ring, but she allows Chris to lie about their relationship. I feel like I've completely lost the plot here, but what I mean to say is that I don't take issue with most of Haley's writing in season 2. I simply think she was written by people completely uninterested in her perspective and her journey compared to Nathan's and REALLY lost out on the lack of consistent writing and POV during episodes 214-223.

What would I change about their writing? Well, obviously a lot of season 2 LOL. I think we should have seen Haley's time on the tour. We should have seen her becoming confident and thriving in the spotlight all the while missing Nathan and being heartbroken over what she's been forced to give up in the name of chasing her dreams. It's implied Haley and Chris were good friends during this time. It would have been nice to see the shift from Chris kind of aggressively coming on to Haley to Haley making it clear nothing was ever going to happen between them, and Chris accepting this enough to become Haley's confidant. Beyond that, I would have given Haley more of a backbone during season 3. I think she stood her ground when absolutely necessary, but Nathan also kind of held all the cards for a lot of season 3. His attitude about her Halloween costume for instance was bullshit. He also should have put his damn wedding band back on before they officially became engaged again because they'd been sleeping together for months and were literally living together by that point. What was I supposed to take from that other than Haley hadn't yet earned it? In season 4, I would have liked Nathan and Haley to have gotten an equal focus during her pregnancy. Season 5, I think more should have come out of their separation story line. I loved the episode where they reunited, but it also kind of seemed a little too easy for Nathan. I obviously don't blame him for the majority of what went down with Carrie or her predatory behavior, but the fact he was watching her swim naked was SO sketchy. There were multiple moments throughout the series where the possibility of Nathan cheating on Haley came up and it was always horribly executed. Whether he went through with it or not, it was annoying for Haley to constantly have these physical threats. Like, Haley was beautiful and sexy as hell, and Mark Schwahn was a demon. I also don't feel like Haley doubting Nathan re: Renee in season 7 was needed. That felt like a retread of season 5. Thankfully, it didn't last very long. Otherwise, I honestly don't have any complaints. More often than not, their relationship was well written.

I completely agree that it was unrealistic for all of the main five to basically become superstars. That took some realism away from the show and made the later, adult seasons harder to enjoy because like.. we're watching Nathan and Haley in their big house where a professional football player seriously shows up at their son's birthday party. While the show overall felt grounded for the entirety of the series, those moments detracted from the series as a whole. That being said, I LOVE rockstar Haley, so we'll have to disagree there. It's not that I don't enjoy her as a teacher or someone interested in helping others learn. It's just that teaching was never Haley's dream. It was something she was good at, but it never fulfilled her the same way being a musician did. On that note, it annoys me that the writers felt the need to make Haley smaller to make Nathan look/feel bigger. By season 7, Haley once again was a musician full time. But when Nathan retired from the NBA to become a sports agent, Haley took over Karen's Cafe rather than continuing to perform. Just to be clear, there's nothing wrong with any of these professions. They're not inherently "lesser". It's just that it was written that while being in the NBA was Nathan's dream, Haley's dream was being a singer. Ultimately, I don't think Haley was ever supposed to be super successful even at the height of her career. The potential was there during season 2 and obviously she toured again in season 7, but I never got the impression she ever achieved the same kind of fame that Nathan and Brooke did.

Yeah, I'm of two minds about that. Part of me is like, "Yessss! Naley forever!" When I was watching season 2 for the first time when I was around 12, their teen marriage was couple goals to me. Nathan and Haley are a rare case of two people that settled down young and still managed to live happily ever after. But on the other hand, we see how much of a mistake it was to rush into marriage. When Nathan proposed, he told Haley she was the only true thing he had. He put SO much stock into that marriage. I genuinely think part of the reason he proposed at all was the fear of losing her after that porn fight. Had Haley not wanted to explicitly wait until marriage for sex, I doubt the thought would have occurred to him. Haley let herself get swept away by the romance of young, first love and was a wife before she'd even experienced anything. From a story line standpoint, I love it. But speaking as someone twice their age at the time of the marriage, there were so many reasons why they should have waited.

I don't think I was the one to point that out, but I 100% agree with those points! I always forget how bad Nathan was during the first few episodes of season 1 because he'd grown tremendously by 122. But jesus christ, he was the boyfriend from hell. It really came across like half the time, Nathan used Peyton as a sex toy. He learned a lot of horrible, toxic messages from a young age and was on the path to becoming Dan Scott when Haley came into his life. You're correct that that particular trope is oftentimes really gross and overdone in fiction. Thankfully, I actually think OTH is one of the few shows to get it right. Peyton is never blamed for Nathan's bad behavior or viewed as "lesser" than Haley for being unable to fix Nathan. Their relationship was toxic and they couldn't have been more wrong for each other. Both Nathan and Peyton always stressed how awful their relationship was, and Nathan is thankfully quick to own up to his bad behavior during their relationship. But, you make a good point. Nathan's turnaround from emotionally abusive asshole boyfriend to sweet and patient boyfriend to Haley happened very quickly. Really, everything with Naley in season 1 was pretty rushed and could have used a few more episodes. The pacing is way off. They spent so much time building up to their first "I love you" only to have them married three episodes later. I think the key to Nathan's shift is that originally, I believe the Nathan/Peyton/Lucas triangle was supposed to go on longer. Since that ended up being replaced by the infamous Brooke/Lucas/Peyton triangle, that freed Nathan up to get together with Haley sooner.

You're welcome! I apologize for the length of my answer!

#Anonymous #Long post #Also this is fun because I never get to go in depth about my Naley/Haley/Nathan thoughts or even OTH that much

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