ok this is a long fucking shot but does anyone out here know anything about. Allergies but rather than having itchy runny-nose symptoms you just feel systemically like shit. Like fatigue, nausea, vague headache, moderate-to-severe excercise intolerance, that sort of thing. But correlated to like, pollen exposure. Or just air quality in general?

The best ballpark diagnosis I have is asthma, but I've never actually had An Asthma Attack so I don't know if that's.... right. And even if it is, I can't really find good research or resources on managing systematic effects of asthma at this like... non-acute, non life-threatening severity.

Sometimes with weird medical shit like this, there's information that exists if only you can find the right keyword to search.... maybe somebody's got something?

Or even just, it'd be nice to hear if anyone elae deals with this and I'm not, like, completely insane*

*for this. other insanity unspecified.

wei wuxian really put his whole pussy into the donghua yiling patriarch reveal huh

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.2

The thing is Paul just physically can't say what he feels. It's just an impossibility for him. So if he says reading a negative article about himself “doesn't help” or “it's not good” but it “doesn't get home” I just assume he means ‘It hurts, but I can't think about that too hard or I'll go into a self-hate suicidal spiral again’. 

I always love how Paul says Linda. “Linder is er, nature mad.” 

She!!

Hearing Paul talk about watching Mary be born makes me wonder if John was there with Sean? Also I wonder if Linda would talk about the experience so glowingly. Probably. She's tough as nails. I had a lovely experience, personally, after the epidural lol

“Dear friend . . . I'm in love with a friend of mine.” This is such a strange and beautiful song. It's a man who has to apologize to his friend for falling in love with someone else. At least, that's my interpretation. What's everyone else's?

I understand why he's so closed off. I do. But when John is going off every five seconds, we're missing half the picture here and it's turning out warped. They really are such a good study of attachment honestly.

“Nothing will ever break the love we have for each other.” White-knuckling my way through this section with this quote clenched in my fist.

Yoko, talking about John fighting with Paul: any couple will go from swearing to kissing and it's like that. What favors are you doing yourself here, babe? Maybe John's the PR mastermind between the two of them.

I find John's comparison of working with his romantic partner to being ambidextrous very confusing. Does he mean just doing two things at once?

“If I can't have a fight with my best friend, I don't know who I can have a fight with.” -- Intro slutty gender-fluid Wings Paul my beloved -- “Tell me why, why, why do you treat me so bad? So bad? When you're the best friend a man ever had?” I heard on some podcast somewhere. Someone was going on about how forward-thinking the Beatles were to refer to the women in their songs as “friends”. And I was like, nununununu do not give them that credit.

This is just soooo. In this era? 90 minutes in the middle of a recording session?

John: Sorry, my estranged fiance is calling, gotta take a break. Guitarist: again? Drummer: how estranged can they be if they call every three minutes? Yoko: should we just record the other parts or . . . John: (receiver cradled to his cheek, lovesick grin on his face) Hey, how was Heather's school program? Haha, yeah, I bet she was.

Okay, so you've made up with Paul and now you're done being homophobic? *Cardi b voice* well that's suspicious. 

The fact that John's asking Paul to play on stage with him in 1972?? Ugh! If it was just about legalities and money and shit I would be genuinely so pissed at Paul for not going. If only because Come Together sounds incredibly lame without his bass and piano. But also for the obvious fix-it reasons. I have to remind myself of how truly awful Klein was. By being the only one to stand firm against him, Paul actually ended up saving them all from a lot of trouble. But gosh would this have been good!

Things normal people say, for sure, for sure.

Okay in my head it went like this. John calls George and bitches about what an egomaniac Paul is because he won't do anything with him as long as Klein is involved. George gets off the phone and calls Ringo and they make a bet as to how long it is until John decides they should get rid of Klein. 

“Where's your audience, Paul?” “In the theater, Dave.” As he should. The cuntiness is unparalleled. Yeah, maybe people like to see a family friendly eclectic magic pixie sexy hard rock floor show? Ever thought about that, Dave?

Anyway, he seems genuinely pissed when the interviewer even mentions the other Beatles and he refuses to even admit he still talks to any of them. Why? 

John's just so benevolent and selfless. He's completely straight, of course, but he's always offering to do gay shit. You know. To be nice. 

I forget that not only was May their literal employee, but she was ten years younger on top of that. And yet, she managed to do so much good in that relationship. I have so much respect for her. 

There's obviously a lot going on behind the scenes that they don't say in interviews. Duh. But I wonder what it is that caused Paul to be so open and happy in this interview where he's asked about the other Beatles compared to before. I wonder if he and John had a really lovely talk, or if he's heard a demo of “I know, I know.” Or maybe it's just he's so reassured that they've got rid of Klein that he feels safe acting open to a reunion on record. Who knows, Yoko. 

So so smart to pair “In My Life” handwritten lyrics with the matching lyrics of “I know I know” playing at the same time. I forget about that connection (“I love you more”) because it's so overshadowed by the “than yesterday” right after. I seriously wonder if John thought he was being so obvious with this one the way he was with HDYS and half hoped people would ask him if it was about Paul and he could make up for the whole thing. Because it's just so heavy-handed. It's beautiful. I love it. I'm sure Paul loved it. But yeah. John's just beating us over the head with the references here. 

I also wonder (very tentatively!!!) if Paul was maybe a bit more emotionally vulnerable with John than we usually think. I would never think this except for the “you know I nearly broke down and cried” “I'm sorry that I made you cry” and “no more crying!” I don't know. What do we think? 

His little baby smirk. It's so silly and cute. He's being very positive about getting back together, and the interviewer asks if John would initiate that. Just a very coy, “a, well, I couldn't say.” I wonder if at that point if he'd said on live tv that he wanted to get together again if it would've happened. Seems like it might have, but I understand him being scared. 

Elton John taking pictures like a fan and John: I wanna impound all those photos till I get me green card. What a random idea for a commercial. I love it, obviously, it's hilarious. I wonder who thought of it. 

This doc is so good at implication. The smirk as “loving in the palm of my hand” plays. That's not a reference to hand jobs, is it? Certainly not talking to someone with beautiful hands?

Everyone go look up Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five on YouTube. The singing sex is something else, yeah, but I'm always so blown away by the piano part. The fact that he's self taught and doesn't read music and this man will go on to compose symphonies. 

i saw that you're currently reading my stand-in novel but you're not really spoiling anything. how are you finding it so far if i may ask? is it as angsty as people say it is?

(i waited until the end of the day to answer this because as i thought i've already finished the novel, so much for self-restraint lol also sorry this got a bit long... oops?)

i enjoyed it a lot! and it made me get over my reading slump, so i will even excuse it getting into some tropes i'm not particularly fond of at the end. it got cheesy…er, and not even in a way i like. amazingly, that didn't make me like it any less.

from the synopsis of the series and the tags in novel updates (and i only skimmed those because i didn't want to get spoiled) i had a pretty good idea of what the novel was going to be like, which is why i decided not to really liveblog since, transmigration aside, i'd say it's a pretty straightforward story. i could be persuaded to make a recap if there's interest though, since there's still over three weeks left until the series starts airing and i'm probably going to go over everything again and take notes anyway...

and oh, is it angsty! the whole thing hinges on zhou xiang (joe) being a sweet angel baby and yan mingxiu (ming) being a fucking idiot, and it's pretty much what you can expect from any dogblood/makjang with the scum ml, misunderstandings, heartbreak, regrets, etc. i have to say i'm not usually a fan of the misunderstanding trope bc i tend to find it annoying, but as with most tropes i don't particularly enjoy it's because of the way i often see it done. here it was painful for everyone involved, so i really liked it. also, please keep in mind that i'm a huge fan of big character development and characters redeeming themselves, so. there's that. wink wonk. (i've been reading some reviews and think for some people it may be best to know what kind of story this is before going in, other than because of triggers–which, very important if you need them, at least in the novel–because of the whole. scum ml more than anything lol even though yan mingxiu is not that scummy really!)

i love my stories character-driven, so having them being this well fleshed out and compelling was a joy, and being able to see so clearly what both zhou xiang and yan mingxiu were thinking and feeling, sometimes a lot earlier than they themselves could (please bl gods keep at least some of the internal monologue in the series, i am begging), was soooooo ugh. you're supposed to hate yan mingxiu allegedly but i just couldn't, not even in his scum era, because he was so obvious and so oblivious and so set in his own ideas he kept gaslighting himself into not noticing things. this could have gotten frustrating pretty easily, but again, everything feed into the delicious, delicious suffering. that being said, and because it doesn't seem to be a popular opinion... i think it's important to empathise with both of them, or at least sympathise, for maximum enjoyment of all that angst. you cannot cry over yan mingxiu's pain if you want him to get hit by a bus.

oh and the relationships (not only the cp's, though their progression is really good) are very important in this story, which is something i hope we get to see more of in the series because i ended up missing certain side characters in the later chapters. not tan yin though, i hope that fuck ass didn't make it into the series. how is a character so annoying while being in maybe six scenes total.

i can't say if it's good or not but it was extremely enjoyable, zhou xiang is my sweet darling angel baby, yan mingxiu is okay too (if you see me in the trenches defending him in about a month…), and i can't believe i am now, somehow, even more excited for my stand-in.

Hii! I hope you’re having a great day beautiful <3 I read your post “blue lock - how you hold their hands”, and while reading the Nagi section I had an idea. Do you think maybe you could write something (headcannons, short fic, I’m not picky!) where reader stops holding Nagi’s hand/sleeve because whenever reader stops Nagi never seems to try to hold readers hand again, and seems to not care/notice so reader is like “oh, I guess he finds it annoying” and stops holding onto him. Sorry if this was long- hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night/etc!

TYSM FOR ASKING 🧡 This is smart and cute maybe almost angsty and suits nagi x reader sm 😞. I did the easiest for me: half hc and half fic ! (it ended up being a teeny bit long and kinda corny oops). Have a lovely week ~

If you love, let me know (and if you don't, then let me go).

(2014 tumblr really popped off with that one)

Where you stop being affectionate to Nagi, thinking it annoys him. 0.9k words. Fluffy, tiny bit angsty.

[from previous headcanons] So you’re always the one to reach for Nagi’s hand (or sleeve, depending how you prefer it hihi)

On the other hand, he’s not often the first one to let go. He basically lets you do all the work, deciding when it starts and when it ends.

But whether you hold his hand or not, he doesn’t seem to care

And on top of that, you’ve already been told something that stuck with you:

“Y\N, you’re so clingy”.

It was a friend of yours that didn’t like physical touch, but still you questioned yourself. Were you too much ?

But to be fair, you had forgotten that sentence and went on with your life. That is until you started dating Nagi. Since you were now being affectionate, and he didn’t seem to care, you suddenly remembered. 

Therefore you started being self conscious. “Maybe I'm overdoing it and he’s annoyed by it, but won’t say it”. 

It was decided. Starting next day, you’d cut down on the hand-holding and clinginess overall.

It was 3:20pm, and Nagi would arrive anytime now. You and your boyfriend had planned to meet up for a coffee and to wander around. “Hey babe !” You said very keenly as you noticed him. You walked up to him with way more spirit than he did. And when you got close enough, you started going in for a kiss. Until you remembered your resolution: no being over the top ! You swiftly played it off and greeted him with a wave. “Uhm, hi”. Nagi was kinda startled. What stunt did you just pull off? He didn’t say anything though, and you pretended everything was absolutely normal.

He didn’t admit it, but he was really looking forward to a kiss. At least a hug. That’s how you always greet him, it’s so enjoyable it reset the whole day's mood. But ugh, he was too lazy to voice it out. “So where are we going ?”. Nagi asked, looking at you dead in the eyes. “Wherever you please, babe”. “I don’t like choosing. Please take us wherever you think’s best. The closest thing from here if that’s what you want”. It’s nice how Nagi was kind enough to let you make all the choices in your relationship, but to you it also meant he wasn't that involved in it, and let you carry the burden of all decisions alone. 

“It’s okay, follow me then”. You signed him to follow you and come closer while you started walking. As he approached you, he started sticking his hand out, thinking you were going to grab it. But you didn’t. So he just looked stupid with his hand reaching at your turned back. “Oh.” He thought. “That’s how it is today”. As you were a bit ahead of him, he had, to his biggest annoyance, walked a tiny bit faster to catch up to you. He wanted to hold your hand. He even thought about taking the initiative for the first time in his life. But, ahh it seemed bothersome. And he was shy, although he’d never admit it.

“Babe… Are you… mad ?”. You were startled. First of all because Nagi was onto the fact that something was wrong. But mostly because it was the first time *ever* he used a pet name with you. But damn, it sounded good. “You should call me that more often, Nagi. I like the ring of it”. Nagi got sulky. It almost felt like you patronized him. “But no, not at all. Why would you think that ? Is there something that’s weighing on your conscience so bad that you’re getting paranoid ?” You finally answered, playfully. You were still looking right in front of you, scared to give in if you met his eyes. 

“Then why are you acting weird ?” “Weird, what do you mean ? I’m my usual self, and in a good mood too. I was eager to see you”. “Is that so ? Then why, then why… Why didn’t you greet me like always ? With a kiss, a hug and holding hands I mean. And why are you gaslighting me too… Do you think I'm dumb ?” To anyone, his voice sounded as lifeless as always. But someone like you, who knew his kind so well, could hear the poutiness behind it. 

“So you DO notice ! And you care too, is that so ?!” “Of course I do, why wouldn't I ? You really think I'm that oblivious ? So why did you do this today ? Is this a test ?” Nagi was looking you in the eyes and you had finally turned your head to him. “I did it because I thought you disliked it. I’m always the one going in for kisses, hugs or even holding your hand. You never react to it, even when I let go. I figured that, if it mattered that little to you, might as well not bother you. Although i have to say, if you thought i was too much, you could’ve at least said so. I would’ve understood.” 

“Well I didn't say anything like that because I didn't think anything like that. I like being close to you”. “But how could I guess ! You never tell me what’s wrong or what’s right ! Everything I have to figure out on my own because you don't talk to me about it”. “I’m sorry, I thought that me not saying anything meant I liked it that way. If it annoyed me, I would've said so.” “You don't have to only point out what’s wrong ! If you love me, let me know !” you said, teary eyed. “I do love you”. And for the first time ever, Nagi went in for a kiss. A good one at that. 

Someone in the apartment complex burnt their popcorn or dinner or something and the smell is just lingering in my bedroom. Ugh. I’m tired and want more Syzoth content, we need head canons and fluff and fun! There are lots of wonderful fanarts though and that’s fantastic, I know I’m a basic bitch jumping on the Reptile hype train but I don’t care. I also want to answer more headcanons and asks and stuff so feel free to send me any questions you have. I’m still not quite up to doing fic requests yet but pretty much anything else is fair game.

I’m happy to do content for all of the Lin Kuei (except Frost, sorry I don’t like writing for women) Rain, Reiko and Reptile! Other kharacters might open up in the future and I’m happy to answer questions about any kharacter. Please don’t be shy! Ns/fw is totally fine as long as it’s not a full blown fic request. Please note though I default to an AFAB reader, I am happy to change that if you request it though, it’s just my go to because that’s what I am and I identify as female. Also please note that I don’t do ships, I only do canon x reader I might throw in some Bi-Han x Syzoth here and there though because I enjoy them together. I also won’t do canon x oc, unless I’m asked about my OCs Hallvard or Ice I just do not know my moots or readers OCs well enough to write them. I’m sorry! (If I decide to do requests again I might do canon x oc in exchange for art or a return fic.) Other nos are incest or underage or gore, silly for MK I know but I don’t want to write about organs lol I’m iffy about child requests, I don’t mind talking about my fictional kids but I can physically have children myself so it’s sometimes a touchy subject for me. So, I guess I’ll say kid asks are at my discretion. Oh full on non con is a no but dub con and yandere are ok I guess? I don’t love writing yandere if I’m being totally honest. If any of these subjects bother you though please let me know if you need a specific tag so you don’t see it by mistake.

So, yeah asks are open I guess? I will try and sprinkle in more smut fics here and there too because smut is life, but like I said I’m more than happy to write ns/fw headcanons and stuff. I just can’t handle the commitment of a full blown fic request right now, but small things are good and keep me active in the kommunity. Also as always please feel free to talk to me at me whatever I’m always down to talk about MK :) I can also always be found on discord the server is 18+ but very chill and self ship friendly, but also ship friendly we have different roles to make everyone as happy as possible. Ok lovelies I think that’s everything, I’m going to spend the rest of my night trying to smell something other than burnt food.

Oh one last thing! Please specify what timeline your ask is for! I won’t write for Hanzo Scorpion but I guess I will try for Kuai Liang Scorpion. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I just need to know what Kuai Liang I’m working with if he’s involved.

I lied one more thing self ship and OC asks are always appreciated but not expected but I would love to talk about both if anyone is interested 👉👈

Pick-up Lines

Welcome to my daily dose of Adrienette fluff haha. That’s alllll this chapter is. Just Adrienette being a cute, flirty couple. It does contain some pretty general s5 spoilers so pls be aware of that before reading! Lemme know what you think!

AO3

Marinette and Adrien were in the cafeteria, enjoying their lunch break together. One of their hands was delicately entangled underneath the table causing Marinette’s heart to race. 

How long had she dreamed of this very thing happening? And now, she got to hold Adrien’s hand anytime she wanted. Could even kiss him whenever she wanted! Honestly, dating him was a literal dream come true. 

Finally, she felt comfortable with both herself and him. Her heart and brain knew that this wasn’t a prank anymore. Adrien truly did love her.

“What’s your favorite way of flirting?” Adrien asked her, chomping on an apple with his other hand.

Marinette blinked, feeling her cheeks pinken. Flirting? Before they were dating, she could barely even manage to stutter two words around him. Flirting would have been nice. 

With a quiet giggle, she dug her teeth into her lower lip before avoiding his gaze. “Well... I don’t know if you could call it flirting exactly but I used to come up with these elaborate plans to confess. Uh, and most of them were centered around, well, y-you.”

Suddenly, Marinette felt vulnerable. Yes, Adrien knew that she had been in love with him for a while but it still felt awkward talking with him about it. Like she should still be protecting this part of her heart as she had done for so long.

Adrien chuckled and she finally managed to peek up at him from beneath her lashes. He was smiling, his emerald eyes glimmering at her playfully. He leaned forward, a smirk on his face that caused her to relax her tensed shoulders. “Ah, yes. My code name was Buttercup, right?”

Her eyes widened with shock. Anxiety and amusement wrestled for dominance inside of her before Marinette shook her head and the feelings away. 

“H-how do you know about Buttercup?”

“A friend told me.” He winked at her. 

An air of smugness surrounded him, almost like he knew something she didn’t. Ugh, she was so going to kill Alya after this. How could her best friend spoil her secret like that?

Feeling embarrassed, Marinette began to move the hand Adrien was holding back to her lap when he grabbed it before she could. 

“I-I’m sorry. Was that too much? I just thought that those plans were really sweet,” he said. A crooked, shy grin was on his face, and suddenly he looked much more like Adrien.

“S-sweet, really?” Marinette stuttered, her face flaming. All at once, she wished she had gained the confidence to actually follow through with her plans. Maybe this could have happened much sooner if she had. 

“Mhm,” he hummed with a nod of his head. “My flirting style is a lot cheesier.”

“Oh really?” she asked playfully. Marinette leaned in, a smile on her face as she rubbed her thumb over Adrien’s. Suddenly, she felt much more confident and at ease. “And what is your flirting style?”

Adrien chuckled, his cheeks looking a lot pinker than they had before. He scratched the back of his neck before saying, “It tends to involve, um, pick-up lines. The punnier the better.”

Marinette threw her head back with a laugh. Oh, that was just adorable.  

Her younger self would have absolutely melted if Adrien ever used a cheesy, awkward pick-up line on her. Who was she kidding? Her current self would melt if he used a pick-up line on her.

“Any examples?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

“You’re the butter to my croissant.” Adrien squeezed her hand, a goofy grin on his lips.

Marinette instantly burst into giggles, shaking her head. “No, actually, I think you’ll find that you’re the butter to my cup.”

He got quiet, an even darker flush slowly spreading across his face. 

After a while, she frowned, tilting her head in concern. “Adrien?”

“I thought you said you weren’t good at flirting?!” He practically whined, a pout forming on his lips.

Her mouth dropped open with surprise. “I-I’m not... Adrien that was just a terrible joke I made!”

“Nope. That was adorable. Just like you. How am I meant to function with how cute you are?”

Marinette scoffed feeling giddiness rise up inside of her. Alright, if cheesy jokes got Adrien to flush like that she could definitely play this game. “Well, you better learn to function because I'm not planning on getting any less cute anytime soon," she teased, winking at him mischievously.

Adrien choked, his hand pulling away from her grip as he placed both of them on his heart. “Okay, that’s it. You’ve officially killed me. Yep, I’m dead.”

He flopped down in his chair, closing his eyes as he stuck his tongue out. Goodness, surely he knew just how cute he was?

Playing along, Marinette draped a hand over her forehead. “Oh no! We don’t want that to happen! However can I bring you back to life?”

 He cracked an eye open, peering at her. “I’m not sure. I’ve heard that, um, a kiss of life might help?”

Biting her lip to suppress a smile, Marinette solemnly nodded her head. “Right, of course! I’ve heard that they can solve anything.”

Quickly, she leaned across the table and brushed a kiss on Adrien’s cheek. Her heart practically thundered in her ears at the contact. She loved him so much.

“Oh, that almost did it. M-maybe one more and everything will be all better?”

There was a hopeful look on his face and she gave him a small, knowing smile. Leaning over again, she placed a lingering, long kiss on his other cheek. Pulling back, Marinette giggled at the almost dazed expression Adrien was currently wearing. “Did that work? Are you back to life yet?”

“Yep!” He bobbed his head up and down faster than she had ever seen it. “That worked! But, I may, um, need more of those in the future. J-just to make sure?”

He was such a dork. Giving him a fond look, Marinette took his hand in hers once more. “That sounds like it could be arranged.”

Adrien opened his mouth to say something else when the bell for their next class rang. They both sighed with disappointment, sad that they couldn’t continue their little games.

“Can I walk you to our next class?”

“Of course.” Marinette smiled back at him, giving his hand a quick squeeze. Standing up, they threw away their remaining food before heading to their next class. 

On their way, she quickly made a mental note to continue making cheesy pick-up lines already. She only wished that she had started using them sooner. Her old self would have loved to know she could make Adrien blush with a cute, flirty joke.

Keshaun Williams has been missing since June 23, 2023 - (Forensic astrology report)

NOTE: This post is super long, I'm so sorry! I can't figure out how to insert a "read more" link. Ugh. Keshaun Williams has been missing since June 17, 2023. He was a good kid, very loved by his family and had an incredibly bright future as a responsible young man. On June 17th he attended a house party and decided he wanted to leave at around 10:30 PM and called his mother, telling her he was on his way home. Keshaun has not been seen since, and time is of the essence. Please share his picture, share the information on his case and keep it in the spotlight. Here is a link to information: https://www.wkyc.com/article/news/local/cleveland/keshaun-williams-amber-alert-update-rewardmissing-cleveland-teen-22500/95-2ea21e9a-93b1-4e43-a733-5b629cc35ea2

I'm going to share what I found in the forensic chart regarding Keshaun (Kee)'s disappearance.

Most prominent themes:

Deception: There are key squares to Neptune, and with the Gemini influence there could be a distinct distortion of facts or reality. Gemini moon square Neptune could represent believing in some sort of setup or trick. Gemini is also the trickster and can have very corrupt motives and intentions.

Money and greed: there’s a very direct allusion to material greed and gluttony in this chart, possibly covetousness as well with Pluto being involved, and sextiling Neptune in the 2nd. 

Young People: There’s a lot of concentrated energy in the 5th house, as well as it being occupied by Gemini. The 5th house and Gemini are representative of young people - youths. The Gemini influence could represent an attempt to relate to peers, with Mercury square Saturn possibly indicating peer pressure in some way. 

The Party: 5th house directly correlates to parties and partying, and I believe something could have started at the party and followed Keshaun home, or tried to go the same route he did - stalking him, possibly, with that Pluto influence there. 

Walking, movement and immediate surroundings: There are planets that point right to Jupiter in the 3rd house. Jupiter in 3rd represents an expanding wealth of information. I wonder if, since the 3rd house represents location, someone very well knows where this boy, and it’s someone within the community? Jupiter conjunct the North node also feels important to me, but I’m not sure why. It’s like awfully fated luck, as though he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, instead of this being specifically planned for a while. Almost like someone saw him and decided very quickly that they wanted to mess with him. Mars squaring Jupiter in the 3rd also speaks of very quick, exaggerated aggression, incited by clear loyalty to a belief (Jupiter = beliefs). There’s almost like a distinct adherence to some sort of cause (another thing I picked up  on in my reading) as Mars is in Leo, and Leo can be somewhat clannish, versus distinctly unifying. 

Identification with an aggressive cause/aggressive leader of a group: Mars in Leo is potentially bringing so much volatility regarding sense of self and identity, but also with Pluto in the 1st house; Mars in Leo makes me think of one who overly focuses on certain facets of identity and group "rules". Mars in Leo could represent a "big bad" leader, as Leo represents nobility and Mars correlates to ruling with force. One would have to adhere to the values and philosophies of the group in order to avoid aggression. Adding into this Venus in Leo: you could have this group identifying through specific clothing choices and colors, as Venus is cloth and clothing. Mars and Venus in Leo to me, in this case, feel like a flag is flying.

Substances: The Neptune influence will always call into question whether drugs or substances or poisons are involved, in any case. 

Groups and circles of association: We have the ruler of the 11th in the 3rd house, of which several planets are pointing at. 11th house Sagittarius could show a desire to expand the social circle, broaden horizons and have a relatively light-hearted time. Jupiter being poorly aspected shows actions taken in “bad faith”, or certain elements of reality being shattered - disillusionment. Ascendant and Chart Ruler: Capricorn/Saturn  Capricorn represents heavy matters and authority, pushing for some sort of recognition of power. It is karma as well as death and permanence. Responsibility is also an element of Capricorn, as is following the lead of someone potentially older or “wiser”. Saturn brings strife, hardships and difficult “realities” - seeing the world for the harsh place it really is. It’s strange to see this sort of energy when the story is that Keshaun was at a “party”, information about which we really don’t have much of. Saturn was retrograde in Pisces when Keshaun went missing; this represents operating heavily under some type of illusion, not being able to see where things are leading. Pisces also often represents drugs or addiction, so could there have been drugs involved at this “party”? It’s likely; there are always people seeking drugs when parties take place, although we don’t know the size of this specific gathering. I'm not saying in any way that Keshaun was doing drugs, just that drugs could have been present and are showing up in the chart.

Saturn, the ruler of Keshaun in this chart, is placed in the 2nd house of belongings and wealth. If anything came up clearly for me in my readings so far it’s that money was possibly some sort of major factor here. Keshaun could have had something somebody wanted, there could have been jealousy at play. Perhaps someone saw Keshaun as somehow authoritative or trying to be “old beyond his years”, as we have Saturn signifying him and his appearance and character. In the readings I got that someone could have wanted to knock him “down a peg” (it sounds awful, I know), and seeing Saturn as the main player here connected to Keshaun is unsettling, as Saturn can be “humbling experiences”. 

Saturn squares Mercury in the 5th house, and Mercury represents communication, speech, as well as modes of thought. It seems likely that there could have been an argument at the party: 5th house is parties, for sure. Mercury represents younger people, and so perhaps there was an argument with kids his age, over status somehow. I do not like that Mercury rules the 8th house of Death in this chart. We have the ruler of the 8th clearly aspecting Saturn as Keshaun’s ruler. When we look at a forensic chart we do not want to see the ascendant ruler interacting with ruler of the 8th in any way. The 8th house is “other people’s money” again, so could there have been an altercation regarding theft, or the utilization of unearned funds or possessions? 

Saturn squares Mercury with an orb of about 4. Mercury is in a sextile with Venus AND Mars. Interestingly this lends some sort of assistance, possibly to the aggressive party. This could be the group turning on Keshaun, boys and girls. Venus is females, Mars is males. Mars is sort of the “war cry”, and having it at ease with Mercury could show an easy attitude toward provocation and violence, or an expectation of success when it comes to an altercation. Mars in Leo is about making oneself look huge, important and a leader in some way. Leo is about leadership, as Leo is the lion and the lion is king. Mars in Leo can also somewhat indicate a personal identification with aggression or violence, as Leo is where we find out identity and core self. It’s also braggy and obvious. Venus in Leo is indicative of enjoying the glamor that comes from self confidence, talking oneself up to the enth degree. It seems that the aggressor in this case could have really high self esteem, especially with Venus squaring Jupiter, which can lead to arrogance and an exaggeration of self worth and importance. This could also be an indicator for greed, and exploring wealth for selfish reasons. 

Mars is also squaring Jupiter, which squares Pluto in the 1st house - the 1st house represents Keshaun. Mars squaring Jupiter is very quick to anger and enact threats; Jupiter in Taurus has an obsession with money, abundance, and being perceived as rich. Jupiter squaring Pluto could show threats of major harm coming at Keshaun, and with Jupiter being retrograde there could be a fear that he’s feeling in connection to that threat. 

Saturn is in a sextile with Jupiter, which, as it relates to Keshaun, creates a strong desire for expansion, and possibly a dedication to exploration. Saturn being in Pisces could paint Keshaun as one who is innocent and trusting, another theme I kept getting in my readings. Being exposed to some sort of harsh vileness is possible, and Jupiter sextile Saturn could represent harsh lessons in life being learned really fast. Jupiter usually represents largeness, so I don’t really know how that plays in here. Could this be another placement that’s talking about bragging? We have Keshaun’s ruler Saturn the 2nd house of possessions and wealth, in a sextile with Jupiter in the 3rd house of communication and conveying ideas. I wonder if at the party Keshaun was talking about belongings in some way - unintentionally bragging to people he thought weren't so bad? This is a common thing for young people to do, but in this environment could it have gotten him in trouble? 

Ruler of the MC in 1st house: 

Pluto is the ruler of the Midheaven, and it resides in the 1st house in this chart. This shows some sort of objective that Keshaun could be involved in, in some way. There’s actually a lot of 10th house energy in this chart, with Capricorn being the ascendant and the traditional ruler of the 10th house and MC. What does this mean? It could mean that whatever happened to Keshaun is knowledge that several people are privy to, as the 10th house is incredibly visible. But with the energy here being Scorpio there’s secrecy behind it, as well as threats and destructive tendencies. The energy of the 10th house is being brought directly to Keshaun in this chart; 10th house Scorpio is related to investigation, deviance, ill intentions, fighting instincts, being sworn to secrecy and bonds that are sealed with blood.

Another way I like to view the 10th house in forensic astrology is to see it as sort of the energies hanging above the case, some of the most prominent and visible aspects of it. With Scorpio we have the energy of jealousy, territorialism, death and threats of extreme violence. These are some of the themes I picked up on in the readings, too. 

Co Ruler of Keshaun: Moon in Gemini 

Gemini is the sign of 2 faces, exploration and socializing. This shows that at the time of the chart, 10:38 PM, Keshaun was focused on communication and movement (Gemini is movement and walking) which goes with what people are saying, that something could have happened on his walk home. This happened under a new moon, as the sun and moon are very tightly conjunct, which could represent some sort of merging of very open and contrastingly secretive elements of the situation. The sun is ego, flare and can “wash out” everything that it touches, and when it comes to the moon there could be a hindrance of the intuition - a pushing aside of the inner voice in favor of fun and more light hearted perceptions. The moon is in the 5th house, which is the house of exuberance and partying; to me this sort of shows me that his head is in the partying space, not really feeling much like an outcast, and wanting to interact with people. There could be an element of networking to some extent, forging new connections, or trying to. 

The moon is squaring Neptune in this chart, and with the moon being in Gemini there are indicators for deception, double that when we look at Neptune, the ultimate distorter of truth. This could also talk about some kind of experimentation that was going on, as Gemini can represent dabbling in somewhat unknown things, and Neptune represents drugs a lot of the time. Moon in Gemini squaring Neptune also represents believing what someone says, to a detrimental degree. I wonder if Keshaun agreed to something, or followed someone’s lead verbally at this party. There is so much 5th house energy in this chart, which directly connects to that party. The 5th house also could represent a connection to kids Keshaun’s age. The 5th house is very young and so is Gemini, which is ruled by Mercury, and Mercury signifies young people. 

The moon in Gemini squares Neptune, and Neptune is in the 2nd house. This once again goes back to money, or things of monetary value. It’s almost like there is a deceptive scheme to get something out of Keshaun in terms of money or some sort of belonging, again: something I keep picking up on in the readings. Another thing about Gemini is the element of languages and intelligence. Could someone have been jealous of his intelligence, or mistaken his method of speech for something that it wasn’t? I do wonder if there was some sort of setup, trick of the mind, or complete distraction of some kind that took place. It’s interesting because the moon also rules the 7th house of the perpetrator. 

The 7th House (DC) of “The perpetrator” : Cancer 

The ruler of “the perpetrator” is in Gemini, in the 5th house. The 5th house correlates to this party, which tells me that if there is a perpetrator involved, they would have been at that party, acting chameleon like, as Gemini energy often represents. Ruler of the perp being in Gemini and the 5th house could show that this person is young, which is another thing I picked up in my readings. They are cold, exact and calculating; Gemini being an air sign there can be a distinct disconnect from the emotions and empathy. Air sign moons can be specifically lacking when it comes to emotional functioning. 

With the moon being in a square with Neptune, this person could dabble in drugs somewhat heavily; they could be innately deceptive and have some sort of hidden agenda, focusing greedily on material possessions and being addicted to obtaining wealth or cheating people out of it somehow. This could also be the energy of a scammer, or someone who gets joy out of tricking and ripping people off.  The moon is squaring Neptune, which shows negative emotional behavior, but it’s sextiling Pluto. This makes me wonder if whoever this is could have some sort of backing - whether it be a person in authority (Pluto in Capricorn - Capricorn = Authority) or simply having deviant people behind them. 

The moon doesn’t directly aspect the ruler of the ascendant (ruler of Keshaun in this chart) but its dispositor Mercury does. Mercury squares Saturn, which is in Pisces. This is yet another aspect that speaks of deception, tricking, covering up. I do think Keshaun was tricked into believing something, and all the indicators of deception in this chart confirm this for me. Mercury square Saturn represents a statement potentially not aligning with reality, or very harsh words being said. It could be a verbal altercation or a domineering and intimidating dynamic. 

More Prominent energies:

The 2nd house is a major player in this chart, as several planets keep pointing back to it. The 2nd house is occupied by Pisces, and the ruler of Pisces is Jupiter - the planet of good faith, exaggeration and things that are out of bounds. Jupiter blows things out of proportion, but also can correlate to gluttony and greed, as well as things and people that are admired and revered. Jupiter is in the 3rd house, in Taurus: another indicator of money and social status. Jupiter is conjunct the north node, which somehow speaks of opportunism to me, even though the north node represents thin that are fated to unfold. There’s an aspect of destiny, and it’s during this walk home possibly, as the 3rd house is movement and walking. The third house is also connected to driving and cars, so I’m not sure if there’s a car involved; either way it does seem like something happened to Keshaun while he was trying to go from “point a to point B”.

I'm sorry to Keshaun's family, that they have to endure this - there are no words for it. I'm praying for Keshaun and his family, and hoping so much for a positive outcome and that he comes home.

[[DISCLAIMER: everything said in this post is speculation and divinatory theory. I am not claiming to present factual information in any form, aside from sharing links to official news sources. Please always do your own research. Thank you!]]

Do you have any favorite fics (AR or otherwise) to read when you’re feeling down? Fics that make you smile and/or laugh, that you find comforting?

thank you for the ask, anon! (sorry it’s taken me forever to reply 🙈) You’ve come to the right person, because my bookmarks are full of fluff and humour fics…it's hard to pick my favourite fics, so I'll go by "make me laugh out loud" and/or "reread 100x" as my criteria lol. There’s lots of fics I didn’t add because I didn’t want this to get too long, but hopefully you’ll find some you haven’t read before here!

Untitled Alexgoose Game (Alex Rider)

by @afewbulbsshortofatanningbed

Alex is a goose. This confuses Alex very much.

Sidenote: @afewbulbsshortofatanningbed is the queen of Alex Rider humour fics, they're all SO funny!!

r/AmItheAsshole: Am I the Asshole for Saving a Child’s Life? (Alex Rider)

by @cthulhu-is-chaotic-good and @afewbulbsshortofatanningbed

Exactly what it says in the title. If you’ve ever been on reddit, or even if you haven’t, I can guarantee you will be rolling in laughter once you read this!!!

The Roommate (Alex Rider)

by @morfoxx

If you have the time for a long read, this fic is like curling up in front of a fire with some hot chocolate. So sweet, and such a lovely story!!

An Everyday Mission Report (Alex Rider)

by @cthulhu-is-chaotic-good

The Alex Rider Interview series is my favourite thing. It is hilarious, and I love all of Cthulhu’s writing!! (if you’re in the mood for more plotty and adventure fics, hers all amazing)

-

Some fics from other fandoms that I’ve found myself coming back to over and over again when I need a laugh or something sweet to read:

Contractions and Split Infinitives (Tangled)

This fic never fails to put a smile on my face. It’s funny, and sweet, and perfectly in character. The first time I read it I laughed out loud, and whenever I want a pick me up I still find myself rereading this, even after so many years.

Smitten (Tangled)

Pascal falls in love…with the Queen. (it’s so funny) (and also sweet)

Family Seal (Merlin)

A funny little ficlet about poor Merlin misunderstanding a very basic word 😆

Curiosity Killed the Knight (Merlin)

by @bonesbuckleup​

Gwaine is my favourite knight, and this fic hilariously captures exactly why I love him. (I first read this years ago and still reread it when I need a laugh. The dialogue is SO funny! also other fics by this author are also hilarious and great)

Frogs and Fools (Merlin)

by @bonesbuckleup​

I love frogs, I love Gwaine, and I love Merlin’s (lack of) self-control.

Mental (Merlin)

Morgana and Merlin communicate telepathically. Unfortunately, Gwen can somehow hear them (and, stupidly, she lets them know). I just reread this (again) and the ending still makes me laugh out loud 🤣

Castle Pranks (Merlin)

A lovely short fic where poor Arthur is the subject of many pranks. The ending is pure fluff!

Somewhat off the Way (Merlin)

A funny short ficlet, the author describes it perfectly in their summary: “In which there's a bodyswap. But it's okay, Merlin knows what he did wrong this time.”

Intervention (Merlin)

Arthur’s uncle has a talk with Arthur about acceptable behaviour. It’s short and very funny lol.

Other People's Pets (Dr Who)

by @abadplanwellexecuted

pure, hilarious, crack. it involves Rose adopting a pet Dalek, and it only gets crackier from there.

Tabloid Fodder (Dr Who)

A beautiful, funny, and sweet fic about a parallel Donna Noble who gets caught up in the Doctor and Rose’s life — I also LOVE the format of this, all dialogue and perfectly in character. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve reread this and it’s perfect for putting you in a good mood ❤️

Possibilities, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bananas (Dr Who)

by @rosa-acicularis

SO SWEET and funny and ugh just perfectly written. It captures Rose’s voice so well, and is full of fluff (it’s a doctor/rose reunion fic). I love it and have probably read this a 100 times since it was first posted (which, wow, it’s been awhile huh?)

The Masterverse (Dr Who)

by orange_crushed

ok so first of all, orange_crushed has some of the most beautiful and poignant writing I have ever read, but she is ALSO an amazing crack fic writer. Case in point, this series, which revolves around the Doctor feeling he has to try and rehabilitate the Master. Unfortunately, the Master still wants to be a villain, and tries to kill Rose every chance he gets (unsuccessfully). It is laugh out loud funny!

HI SORRY i got distracted because thinking about beel got me thinking about food, which got me thinking about dessert so long story short i spent the last hour or so making cinnamon rolls LOLOL.

sooo this is random but i feel like beel doesn’t really care about neurodivergence. he’s just like: “oh yeah that’s my big brother mammon. he’s loud and fidgety and he gets distracted a lot. isn’t he great? :)”

“….what’s an eighty HD?”

i also feel like the three realms are pretty different in terms of social norms, diversity etc. since there are all different kinds of demons who act in unique ways i think the devildom would be a lot more accommodating in terms of physical and mental needs. that said, RAD can get pretty overstimulating, even if you do have a gentle giant with you.

back to Beel. his jacket is THE place to be when you’re overstimulated. it’s nice and big, so he can pick you up, zip the jacket and then boom! you’re in a quiet dark place while also being close to your favorite demon in the world!!! the softness and warmth too? UGH, god tier. our boy is strong af and loves holding his human, so it’s a win for everyone involved. youmight accidentally fall asleep in there tho. not that he’d mind.

one of the main reasons i hc beel as autistic is his monotone voice and his lack of expressiveness. it’s stated in canon a bunch of times that he looks grumpy but really isn’t, and members of Autism Squad usually have trouble with that kind of thing.

me🤝beel

“of course im happy, why do you ask. 😐”

YHIS IS SO LONG SORRY i have more i want to say but in conclusion AUTISM -🍔

The amount of times I checked to see if you sent a new ask alsjakaja I was excited okay!

YES!!! Very much!! Oof I completely agree with the jacket situation because there’s times where I get so overstimulated it reaches the point of my fight or flight activating and I’m like “hey bud if I don’t leave this area immediately I’m gonna get violent and that’s not what I want” so having him to hide in would be so comforting 😭 the ultimate weighted blanket but this one is portable lmao

OH LORD MAMMON AND HIS POOR BLESSED DISTRACTED SELF that’s an entire different post but ugh, my boy is definitely adhd and can’t not sit still or focus when he’s excited. Relatable. ANYWAY BEEL MY BELOVED!!

Yes yes!! The expression thing is such a good point! I feel like when he’s alone with you and super happy he might be more expressive, little smiles when you look at him, soft humming, forehead kisses 🥺 but when he’s out in public with his brothers he’s normally very stoic even though he’s so happy to be out with his family and you💖

Never apologize for talking about things that make you happy my love, I’d enjoy hearing more!

a thought 4 u: omega slick is highly coveted amongst those not involved w an omega since it is such an effective lubricant. character A finds character B "harvesting" their own slick for a quick monies bc they produce a particularly prodigious amount of the stuff.

I'M SO SORRY, ANON, this took for-fucking-ever.

CW: intersex omega, alpha Jaskier, omega Eskel, masturbation, accidental voyeurism, oral sex, anal sex, knotting, squirting, rimming, come eating

I picture game Eskel for this but he's not really described so it's choose your own adventure time.

**************

Jaskier hasn't been travelling with Eskel for long, just a couple of months. They met shortly after The Banquet, after Geralt disappeared to gods know where, and it has been good! Very good, in fact. Eskel is very similar to his brother in many ways, but vastly different in others, and they got on quite well straight away. Jaskier likes to think they've become friends.

It's not unusual for them to get separate rooms when they have enough coin, and usually Jaskier makes thorough use of those nights, finding at least one willing partner to mess up the sheets with. It's never really a problem - people love bards, and they can usually be coaxed into spreading their legs for him with a few well-planned compliments.

Not tonight, though.

No, tonight he returns to the door of their inn room alone and a little tipsy, and his new plan is to crawl into bed and just... enjoy that. Alone. On his own.

Ugh.

His hand is already on the door handle when he hears the noise coming from their room. It's a soft little sound, a gasp, maybe, and he flushes hotly all the way to his belly button. That maybe-a-gasp came from Eskel, Jaskier is sure of it.

He should leave, probably. Turn around and try his luck again, give his... friend the privacy to do whatever it is he's doing, but then Eskel moans and curses softly, and Jaskier is dragged towards the door as though pulled by a magnet. The inn isn't fancy, the doors are roughly made, and there's a gap big enough between door and wall to see through.

Jaskier knows he shouldn't.

He does it anyway. Nobody ever accused him of possessing a lot of self-control.

black-pill lesbians: *organize months-long harassment campaigns to flood the inboxes of bisexuals and taunt them about their rape and calling them vile names*

piqued-curiosity: we need to have compassion for these women, I will always empathize with them no matter what they say, you have to understand they're angry about bisexual homophobia. and it doesn't matter what lesbians say to bihets anyway actually you're the bigot here for making such a big deal out of this.

lesbian: im so lonely because bisexuals are self-victimizers that don't understand their stupid rape and abuse aren't real oppression its so homophobic how they think they're real people

piqued: well you have to understand lesbians are really lonely so of course we're moved to just ignore rape apologia, I don't understand why you're demonizing me for no reason

lesbian: bi women are identical to TIMs, they're no more similar to us than het men, they're nothing but dick worshipers, their supposed abuse is just a ploy to weaponize against lesbians

piqued: well maybe I would have used different language, but ugh stop getting hung up on her calling you dick worshipers and belittling your rape and abuse and comparing you to het men. She's NOT a misogynist she's very insightful and you male worshipers need to listen to her.

bisexual: bisexuals shouldn't feel ashamed about having OSA, it's just a natural part of bisexuality.

piqued: what homophobic bullshit is this this makes me so angry this shows you people don't have any real issues

and this woman is supposedly the gold standard? soooo kind just because she pays lip service to the idea that most obviously crass behavior against bisexuals is bad (but then she says ok maybe its bad but it doesn't affect anything so who cares)? she's had excuses for them at every turn, but the most inoffensive words of bisexual positivity is proof bisexuals aren't really oppressed?

sorry this is so petty and random but no one takes anything against bisexuals seriously its all so clearly a game to them where they have to come out looking good but also put bisexuals in their place.

I think it's unfair to lesbians to take the actions of the and attribute them to the majority; lesbians and bisexual women (and gay and bisexual men) are the only people who will ever understand what it's like to have a 'different' sexuality in our heterosexist society.* I personally believe that this similarity far outweighs any of our real or perceived differences.

But I know the soul-crushing, hateful behaviour you're talking about. I've seen how 'black-pilled' lesbians treat bisexual activists on here - how they mock and harass bisexual rape victims, how they speak about us using degrading, sexualised, or biphobic language, how they belittle our experiences with discrimination ('it's just homophobia and misogyny' - that's from Piqued, if I'm not mistaken), how they shamelessly reframe bisexual mistreatment to attack gendies/misogynists/men ('Amber Heard is a victim of misdirected lesbophobia'), how they involve themselves in our business while simultaneously complaining about bisexuals involving themselves in lesbian affairs. I've also seen how their followers and the followers of their followers just... look the other way.

But it doesn't matter, does it? To black-pilled lesbians, an imperfect lesbian is only ever a well-meaning victim, and an imperfect bisexual is only ever a bad faith abuser/oppressor/handmaiden/what-have-you.

Anon, I'm so sorry if you've been on the receiving end of the black-pilled bullshit (and it's defo not petty and random - there's so goddamn much of it!). You're absolutely right - and feel free to reach out and vent anonymously/in my dms/to me on discord whenever you want.

Good news: I’m able to get this unpleasant gallstones issue addressed next Friday :D Hooray for prompt action!

Slightly not-so-great aspect: It does involve going under for surgery, and that…well, I do not like very much. The whole needing-to-be-intubated aspect is deeply unpleasant for me, even though I know its a necessity. It’s not even a very long surgery, and it should be fairly straightforward and I should be able to go home very soon after its all done. Which is good, I like being home!

I just…eh, I really hate the breathing-through-a-tube aspect. When I wake up in recovery, my throat always hurts a lot, and with being out of it due to the anesthesia, it can stir up some deeply traumatizing memories, and even though I know I’m safe now, it’s just not what I’d call a pleasant prospect. I have the tools to manage it, I just…ugh. It’s not super fun.

Hopefully this time, I do not wake up mid-surgery, start flailing about, realize that I’m getting put into a four or five point restraint system, and then finally chamber-kick some poor, well-meaning male medical staff member right in the nuts before they were able to knock me out again. That happened when I was…eight or ten, I think. At the time, I had no real understanding of why I was so freaked out with having a tube down my throat, but now, it makes a lot more sense. Still feel a little bit bad about kicking that poor dude in the nuts, but I’m also weirdly proud of my younger self. :-) Good job standing up for myself, younger-totally-out-of-it-Ranger! You did good! :-) And damn, I should really write that man a letter that just says: “My bad, random person, totally not your fault. Sorry.” 

And at least this time I can let the medical staff know about this stuff prior to the procedure. That’s bound to be helpful :D

And here, have a Hunter gif from The Owl House. I love this kid :-)

impurities [ft. h.yj]

pairing : yunjin x winter's sister!reader genre : fluffyy w tiny sprinkles of angst cw/tw : kissing + use of caps/swearing + reader gets sister-zoned by yunjin like once ;-; wc : 1k !!

sister's bsf!yunjin mmm

she's been besties w minjeong since forever and your sister is very possessive of her

not to say that she isn't possessive of you !

she just wants the 2 main girlies of her life not making heart eyes at each other tyvm

but how can yunjin help herself from falling for you? you're so sweet, so cute, so pure well at least that's what she thinks; extremely different from her ditching classes, being stuck in detention 24/7, playing in a rock band self

you've always been her biggest supporter - always been there to cheer her on, to wipe her tears because she can't help that your presence makes her want to show all parts of her to you - the good, the bad and the ugly

so she drops in some a lot of flirty remarks around you, teases you in the hopes of seeing your oh so adorably flustered face as you struggle to respond to her way too suggestive quips

yunjin is always quick to keep winter's annoyance at bay however by also making sure to gush about "this gorgeous girl she's been talking to who she met at one of their band's concerts"

you're pretty fed up of this hot and cold behaviour of hers, to be honest

because how can yunjin go from looking at you like she could see entire galaxies in your eyes as she follows you around like a lost puppy to coolly ignoring your attempts to make conversation with her, droning on and on about how she has to get some other girl's number? and there's also the millions of times she's referred to you as the sister she's never had... :/

obviously winter ends up finding out eventually bc come on. yunjin really isn't that subtle with her ogling

but gasp gasp? she's actually really supportive! she gives you both her blessings to "finally fucking make out or something the tension is killing me ugh"

absolutely letting no time waste, yunjin decides to properly confess and get a chance to woo you how you deserve to wooed :( &lt;3

but,

seems like there's trouble in paradise!

because you're apparently going out w someone?! yunjin physically feels her heart breaking when she sees you hug a pretty girl w long black hair and her then kissing your cheek TWICE and calling you 'darling'?? she's never seen her around before and you couldn't already be this close with just a friend???

completely dejected when she explains this situation to her bsf, minjeong goes :O and then her face turns a rather angry (or flustered?) shade of red on hearing your alleged lover's description

she apparently knows who that girl is and she can definitely confirm that you're not dating her

minjeong sus. yunjin will confront her suspicious behaviour another day. but right now you're more important; if you were not romantically involved with that girl.. why would you pretend to be..?

as she sees you walk towards where the 2 girls were sitting on yunjin's bed, winter immediately shouts something about "needing privacy right now and claiming that you both must not enter the room at any costs and leave RIGHT NOW !!!!!" yunjin is pushed out the door to an equally shocked you

"isn't that your room.." you very cleverly point out "i've learned not to question your sister's strange, strange ways.." yunjin mutters back

she knew what winter wanted her to do, she could practically hear her menacingly excited laughter

so yunjin fixes a charming smile on her face and offers a little walk, just you and her &lt;3

you nod, despite there being visible hesitance written all over your awkward figure

the "little" walk ends up going on for rather long, seeming longer than it actually was, in fact, due to neither of you saying a word to each other

but finally when you decide to attempt some small talk, yunjin interrupts you, "why did that girl kiss you yn."

... this, quite validly, offends you, "oh i'm sorry am i obligated to tell you about each and every single person i'm romantically into?"

"uh no! of course not it's just um how could you just.." she's at a loss of words because such hostility from you makes her confident persona crumble so fast that at any other moment you would've laughed. a lot.

"i don't want to be talking about this with someone who thinks of me as their sister" you bitterly spit out, ready to walk away from her before the tears threatening to spill over your waterline make their way down your now heated face

as you turn, however, yunjin grabs your wrist and pulls you back, forcing you to fall into her arms as you desperately clutch her shoulders to not fall

"yunjin ??? WHAT do you think you're doing???" before you can push yourself away from her she brings her face so, so close to yours that you can smell the sweet, fruity fragrance of her lip gloss and forget running away, all you want to do at this moment is connect your lips to her ever so kissable ones

ignoring your question, her attention remains focused on her original goal, "can i.."

you move one of your hands to cup her cheek and and finally steal a peck from her but before you can let yourself completely drown in the feeling of her warmth, she pulls away and with a finger on your lower lip and continues, "can i please know why you were with that girl?"

dazedly you let the truth slip out, "minji's .. friend.. she isn't.. i'm not with her or anythi- mmph!" and just like that yunjin finally kisses you like she's wanted, hell, like she's dreamed of for ages now and you're more than happy to let all her previous actions be forgiven - as long as she keeps holding you just like this &lt;3

notes : for the ppl waiting for the yunjin/yn/rina fic mwah &lt;3 + [m.list]

0019.

Do you want the last dream you had to come true? looooooool. so get this. my most recent dream i can recall was that i had been married to K for like 3 years. we had just had twins (our first kids) one boy and one girl. they were like 4-5 mos. old. so we were like super happy and involved in church and like i remember being so happy. but then i found out he cheated. so like i went to one of our pastors and i was like i honestly dont think i can even think about reconciliation because we were happy. we like had no problems. and like i want to be kind to him because he is my kids dad and hes a good dad, but i cannot live life with someone who repeats this cycle to me. so like the dream fast-forwarded and we had gotten divorced and he was so upset by it he just wanted his family back. and we continued to go to the same church and like sundays was drop-off day for him to pick up the kids from nursery and have them til tuesday night. and so like after church we agreed to talk briefly and i told him i was going to start dating n stuff and he was like SO upset and we had this long convo about it. then i like started seeing someone from church. i woke up when K went to like get really upset with me. sooooooooooo i wouldn’t say it would be phenomenal to have it come true.. i love the idea of having babies and such. but idk.

When did you last talk to the person you’d most wanna talk to right now? i honestly dont want to talk to anyone rn lol

What kind of pill did you last take? lactaid

Do you like wearing glasses? not particularly.

Does your mom know the last person you hung out with? Yepppp

What were you doing 4 hours ago? i was playing sorry with my nephews

What would you most like to eat right now? the cake in the fridge but oooooomg my tummy hurts so bad currently.

How long were you last in the car for? Like 5ish mins

What is something good that happened last weekend? my brother got married

Do you like holding hands or do you think it’s stupid? i love it. i am often complimented that my hands are very soft.. and i love to do that whole thumb rubbing fun stuff. makes me happy.

The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? something in an ad

How’d you get your last injury? i jammed my finger and got a big blood blister from it.

What do you like about your birthday? i love gifts and good food and like .. ugh i used to date someone that would send me these gorgeous florist assembled bouquets and i just felt so... idk special. maybe that makes me self centered idk.

Do you like being home alone at night? i seldom dislike being alone

What first comes to mind when thinking of 10th grade? That was not an easy year. my parents were divorcing, i was dealing with some friendship losses. 

What’s the scariest thing that’s happened to you? near death experiences.

Has an ambulance ever came to your house? looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool yes

The person you’re thinking about- what are you thinking about them? our babies tho..

When did you last skip class? uhhhhhh never? once maybe 

Do you like the shape of your fingernails? yes 

Did you look at your fingernails for the question above? after i typed yes lol

Whose pool did you last swim in? My sisters. i am eager to swim again.

What’s something you like about your 3rd hour? uh i never had that considering i was homeschooled.

Is formspring a good idea? idunno what that is.

What’s your biggest problem at the moment? career probably.

What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? oh man i would need to think about this.

When did you last see a police car? today

Why aren’t you doing something more productive than this? Its bedtime.

How many people know about the last person you kissed? i mean plenty. 

How many different cars have you driven? goodness. many. 

What did you do on Thursday? took care of the cats, went to VBS, went to the grocery store, cleaned the house, etc.

What color was the last thing you drank? gatorade

What do you do on Fridays? usually that has been date day/night

Have you ever had to take desperate measures in a desperate situation? yes im sure i have.

What door did you last open besides any on your house or car? the one at rainbow cone

Somehow multiple people on my dash have gotten into Tamsyn Muir's The Locked Tomb, and it's been recommended to me as well. Having read the first two books, I ... can't really get into it. Here's my review (with some spoilers for those two books). (Also, this turned out more negative than I intended. Sorry about that if you like it, no offense intended, maybe just skip reading it.)

Gideon the Ninth was mostly fun. The writing is a bit too slow for me sometimes (detailed descriptions of settings/fabric/other stuff that I don't really care about), the worldbuilding a bit too vague/little, but okay. Gideon doesn't have much going on spends most of the time ambling around somewhere beside the plot being unhelpful, and since this fits her character perfectly and we get plenty of snarky commentary out of it, this is fine by me. The plot itself starts off very slowly and then kind of happens all at once at random. Maybe I've missed clues or important details - I guessed that Dulcinea was not all she seemed, but not much else. The characters' actions don't have much effect either: pretty much everything except for the final standoff would have happened more or less like it did with a completely different set of characters as well. This fits with Cytherea's powers and (apparent) agenda, so alright, but it also means that I spent a lot of the time just going "huh? well... alright, I guess this might as well happen" in slightly confused tones. The character or perhaps rather relationship development of Gideon and Harrowhark was savory and delicious, very nice, no notes (except maybe for “more of this pls”). The rest of the characters stayed somewhat flat for me (in some cases due to dying off early), with a few notable exceptions (Palamedes and Camilla, but... that's basically it). Overall I'd give it something like 3.5/5 stars, finished it fairly entertained and with both curiosity and some reservations for the next book.

Harrow seemed like a driven, systematic, and fiercely intelligent character in the first book, not to mention a necromancer with (necessarily) a good grip on the mechanics of this essential aspect of the world. I expected this to mean that the second book would have a stronger (tighter, more coherent) plot influenced heavily by the main character's actions, that it would contain more explanations of necromancy's abilities and restrictions and more analysis on what the various necromancers were doing, and that it would probably be more my usual speed in terms of how the main character thinks (albeit less funny).

Given these expectations, Harrow the Ninth was disappointing.

* Harrow's internal voice, to the extent it even existed, was bland. She seemed to sleepwalk through the first two acts completely, with no more emotional reactions than some dislike for basically anyone and anything around her and no discernible thoughts. To some extent that was to be expected given the traumatizing ending of the first book, but it just went on for waaaay too long. If she had any particular kind of feeling about her past self locking away some of her memories, if she ever sat down to think through whether to trust her past self or not, we didn't get to see it. If she ever suspected that the memory block was involved in her difficulties with her Lyctoral abilities, and perhaps even re-evaluated whether to follow her past self's wishes in light of this information (which her past self could not have had!), there was nothing of that in the book (including the later acts). I kept waiting for her to wake up, only to be frustrated chapter after chapter. This got somewhat better in/after the third act, with at least some thoroughly satisfying soupy (heh) action, but... honestly never to the extent I had hoped.

* Characters: ugh. Everybody is assholes. Mercy? Asshole. Augustine? I wasn't entirely sure about him for a second there, but yep, asshole. Gideon the First? Asshole from the start, a hot second of maaaaybe in the middle, oh and then he's dead. Ianthe? Asshole, relationship with Harrow seems to develop for a while, except then apparently she deliberately gaslights Harrow about something important (maybe! unless Gideon is wrong about Cytherea's body beneath Harrow's bed being real! which is a distinct possibility, given that Gideon only has Harrow's eyes to look through, but this is never resolved and potentially irrelevant anyway and this is immensely frustrating to me.) Harrow desperately needs a hug, but is surrounded by assholes, so that only seems even remotely possible for like five sentences spread out through the book. God actually had me rooting for him and hoping for a bit, but proves to be Actually An Asshole Too around the start of act three. Oh, and then at the end all of them turn out to be a slightly different shade of asshole than they seemed to be for most of the book. Which I genuinely cannot bring myself to care about, at all. And I actually really hate all of this, because... these are near-immortal beings who have spent ten thousand years more or less with each other, through high-stakes situations, set apart from the rest of their universe, and there are these tantalizing glimpses of genuinely complex and deep relationships and an interesting view of the world, but they fizzle out in assholery and are also mostly ruined by/at the ending. So yeah. Then there are also the dead characters, which are actually not completely dead, but most of what they do happens in that space of "this might be an elaborate false memory, although it's probably something else, but I have no way of knowing what" which puts a real damper on getting invested (at least for me, YMMV).

* Plot: in all the frustrating sleepwalking of the first two acts, Resurrection Beasts are set up as the Big Bad for later, one of them coming for God with potentially Houses-ending consequences. Then there's also a mystery threat that may or may not even be real in any meaningful way throughout the Canaan house parts. Then, the Resurrection Beast happens (and turns tail) offscreen while characters are busy doing Other Stuff (e.g. going “no u want Harrow to like you more than she does” at each other, eavesdropping on assholes), the mystery threat is explained but mostly after it's been made irrelevant by killing (and also is part of a whole other group of baddies we don't really know anything about but that are mentioned here and there throughout the book), and also Harrow - you know, the main character - spends most of the actual action sitting around watching/listening to other people doing things, and so does Gideon. The potentially House-ending consequence of God's death turns out to be no biggie because he can't die anyway, right before he's put into a completely different danger (let's call it superhell) that was kind of offhandedly introduced along the way, and then he gets away anyway. I just... look, I can't care about any of this. Nothing has been set up in such a way as to make me care. I don't care whether Mercy and Augustine are traitorous assholes in addition to regular assholes, because they're assholes either way, and because the asshole they betrayed is someone I also don't really care about. The Houses ending seems sort of vaguely bad in a "there were characters from there that seemed nice" way, but they’re offscreen and the on-screen characters don’t seem to care all that much about them, so the emotional impact is limited. The New Group of Maybe-Baddies is pretty much a complete unknown - they apparently toss around nuclear weapons and try assassinations but also a couple of non-dead characters are there now for some unexplained reason? (Which we learn in a completely random encounter that sooort of drops a clue or two about later happenings, but that stays... jarringly random.) Once again, most of this is - as far as I can tell - impossible to figure out or anticipate in advance. While I got the Ortus/Gideon switch, that wasn't much of a mystery given that we already knew Harrow had altered her memories. The River's possibilities are not really clear early enough that I could guess at what's going on with Canaan house, and they are disjointed from the main narrative (with no indication that Harrow is reliving/dreaming/thinking about any of it). Harrow's existence doesn't make much - if any - difference to the plot at any point, only Gideon’s eyes are important for Betrayal Reasons. I suppose there are some things I've learned (Gideon's parentage, a bit about Alecto's wards), but these were... not actually questions I was all that curious about, and learning it almost incidentally from assholes yelling at each other doesn't feel very satisfying. A mystery that I thought was getting solved when Abigail brought up Harrow being haunted (namely, What The Fuck Is Up With The Body Following Her) was un-solved again when the haunting turned out to be a new character. Another mystery (why God would lie about how to become a Lyctor) doesn't get solved because somehow nobody asks.

* There are some meme references sprinkled throughout the book (I caught none pizza with left beef, jail for mother, and... I think another one?), which some people like, but I mostly found them incongruous with the rest of the tone. Which makes me wonder if uncaught and slightly-incongruous references are further negatively affecting my opinion here. I was promised that the Cool S would be important somehow, but as far as I can tell it was just randomly on a piece of paper beneath a Harrow hallucination and irrelevant otherwise.

I dunno. Maybe these books are better at a second reading, when you already know what's going on and can pick up more clues? Maybe there is some actual content in Harrow's hallucinated notes that I didn't get because I didn't have enough context yet? At least it would put some of the soundbites that are just unintelligible due to missing context at the first read in, well, context. But I don’t really want to reread them.

Aaanyway. Might get curious about the other books via fanfic/fanart, but at this point I’m leaning more towards reading synopsis (synopsises? synopses?) online than towards reading the actual books. I don’t really trust that the payoff from reading the actual books would be worth the effort for me.